#OR RESPONDING TO THE OTHER SPLINTERS. THE SPLINTERS WHO TRAINED THEM THE SPLINTERS WHO THEY CALLED SENSEI THE SPLINTERS WHO OOUH

[citruslllad]

OOUH RISE RAPH IN OTHER TMNT VERSIONS.. IT DOES SOMETHING TO ME BABY!!

[xetlynn]

Twilight Imagines- Jasper x Fem! Reader

I Am A Fool

[other imagines]

Requested by: @raviolisblog

Summary: Reader is a nurse in the military which is how she meets Jasper, they fall in love and plan a future together but unfortunately Jasper gets moved to another base and they are separated. Which is where he turns and disappears, his writing to Reader stops and she doesn’t understand why. Only to go into her own demise, turning into a vampire. She searches for her love for over a century.

"[Name]!?" A voice calls after me as I clean my medicine station. I turn around to see my only friend, Esther. Both of us started training to become military nurses at the same time. We stuck around each only each other in the beginning and then that's eventually how it stayed. "Yes?" I respond with a tiny smile upon my face.

"Did you hear the soldiers and us will be eating lunch together this week?" She asks, her eyes sparkling with joy. I only chuckle at her question, getting back to what I was doing before she came into the tent. "I did hear. It doesn't matter though, I'm stuck with cleaning duty this week." I sigh out, annoyed. I didn't really care either, getting to know the soldiers who treat us nurses like dirt. As if we aren't the ones who take care of them whenever they get injuries that range from the tiniest splinter to gunshot wounds.

"Oh, [Name], you have to join me. I'll help you get your work done." She grabs my hand, forcing me to look at her once again. I raise a brow at her. "Please, I would like to get to know them. Maybe... we won't be as lonely." She whispers, glancing around but there was no one else but us there.

I knew she had another motive though. She wanted to fall in love. It was something she always talked about. Wishful thinking. All because of these romance novels she read before becoming a nurse.

"I don't mind being lonely, Esther. Besides I don't think I could handle the stupidity that reeks off of those men." I take my hand back from her grasp. Finishing up my cleaning.

"[Name], I will only beg this of you for the rest of the week." She tells me in a sharp tone. "That's only 7 days. I shall live." I grin cheekily, sitting down as I write down things I need from the utility room.

"[Name], join me one day at least. Please." She pleads with me, dropping down in front of where I sit. I place my clipboard and pencil down. Staring at her for a moment before throwing my head back. "One day, Esther. That's all I give you. No more begging after that." I point a finger in her face. Her expression beams with happiness, she stands up from the ground, grabbing my hands once again. "Thank you, thank you. You will not regret it!" She squeals, kissing my hands as if I had saved her family member from death or something. I shake my head, with a tiny smile that I couldn't hide even if I tried. "I better not." I mutter in a joking voice.

And the day after that conversation is the day she chose for me to join her to lunch. Lunch with the army men that chatted with every woman that they could. Multiple coming up to us. I sat silent during most conversations. Esther enjoying every moment. I quietly ate my food. Observing how the nurses almost dumb themselves down for all the men that come their way. It was embarrassing. I felt embarrassment for them. Even though I know they couldn't care less how they're perceived unless it is by the said men.

I stand up abruptly to throw away my empty tray. My best friend doesn't even notice I had left. I shake my head with a small laugh. She would've been fine without me, if only she had known.

After throwing away my tray I stand there for a moment, deciding on if I should go back to my seat or go start on some cleaning. My thinking was interrupted by a tap on the shoulder. I stand up straighter, mentally preparing myself for a horrible, short conversation. I turn to see a longer haired blond.

He looks familiar as well. I glance down to his empty tray. "Sorry, am I in your way?" I ask, stepping to the side. "Only a little bit." He gives me a curtly smile, his dimples forming immediately. "My apologies." I bow my head, I go to walk away but he clears his throat. "May I ask what your name is?" He speaks up once again. "I guess you may." I joke before answering him. "[Name] [Last Name]." I tell him.

"That's a beautiful name." He compliments me and I feel my face begin to heat up. I stammer for a moment, attempting to calm myself down before speaking. "Uh, thank you. I uh I better get going." I start to walk backwards bumping into a table. Apologizing to it like an idiot before hurrying away to start on cleaning tasks.

"I looked like a fool Esther!" I cry out, hiding my face in my hands. "I'm sure you didn't." She disagrees with me, I could tell she wasn't paying attention though. Her eyes looking off into the distance as we were supposed to be doing tasks for the day. Cleaning the sheets from the men's beds. "Oh but I did. I bumped into a table and said sorry to it as if it were a human." I ranted to her anyways. "Oh wow." She mumbles.

"I feel as though you do care for what I am saying." I stop my cleaning, staring at her. "Mhm." She hums, she was looking around, outside of the tent. I roll my eyes. "Who are you looking for, Esther Anne?" I question her loud enough to snap her out of it. Her eyes widen as she looks at me. "I'm not looking for anyone." She shakes her head. Lying to me. "Right. What did I just say moments ago?"

She stays silent in response and I begin to laugh. "Ugh, I'm sorry [Name]. I just, I've been talking to one of the soldiers. His name is Ryan. He's perfect. He walked me to the tent after lunch yesterday and then found me later in the day." She excitedly informs me, going back to looking out of the tent where the men walk by. "He told me he'd look for me today." She smiles brightly. "I'm sure he will." I assure her, going back to washing the sheets.

"Oh I hope so." She quietly says under her breath. "So the man you talked to yesterday, was he cute? He had to have been if you called yourself a fool over him." She changes the subject and I glare at her. "I did not call myself a fool over him. It was over me bumping into a table." I argue with her, upset that she would even say that. Acting stupid over a man. I make fun of women like that all the time. I wouldn't go doing it myself. "You didn't answer my question." She sings.

"What question?" I furrow my eyebrows. "Was he cute?" She asks with a smirk. "He was..." I think back to his looks. His hazel eyes, his dimples that appeared when he smiled or even talked a little bit. His blond hair that fit him perfectly. I shake the thoughts out of my head. "He was all right." I shrug my shoulders. She stares at me for a moment with a disbelieving expression. "Yeah, okay."

I don't have the energy to argue with her this time though. Moving on from the conversation as we put all the sheets into baskets, heading out of the tent to hang them up to dry.

Esther begins to talk about Ryan again, describing his features and physical beauty. I stayed quiet only responding when there was a pause of silence.

As we hung up the sheets I felt a couple of presences pop up behind us. I turn around to see the man from yesterday along with two others.

"What can we do you for?" I ask, wondering why they came up to us. Esther notices them and her eyes widen. "Oh Ryan, you found me." She grins, hooking up one last sheet before going up to him. "I told you I would." He smiles gently. He was on the shorter side but he genuinely matched her so well.

"This is Jasper, a friend of mine. And this is John." He introduces his friends. I stare at the ground as they talk. Esther shaking the other men's hands. "Nice to meet you two." She sweetly says. "You as well, I have to get going though. Just wanted to see the pretty girl he won't shut up about." John messes with Ryan before walking away. Ryan rubs the back of his neck embarrassed but Esther only grins ear to ear hearing that.

Suddenly she snaps out of her trance and pulls me forward. "This is [Name], she's my best friend I told you about." She tells the two men not knowing that Jasper is the man I told her about. "Pleasure to meet you." Ryan nods his head to me and I do the same. I look at Jasper who already has a smile on his face. "Nice to meet you, again." He says to me and I give a short smile. Esther has a shocked face but then smirks.

"I was going to show Ryan something on one of the trails, you two should get to know one another." Esther grabs the shorter man by the arm, beginning to walk away. "What? But- Our other chores!" I call after her. "We have time to finish them later." She smiles, turning away and ignoring my other protests.

I give up and turn to the man in front of me. "Hah, so... Jasper is your name." I awkwardly say. He chuckles, nodding his head. "Jasper Whitlock." He sticks his hand out. "Whitlock." I repeat quietly. It's familiar. I take his hand but I don't let go as I try to remember who he is.

"I've taken care of you before." I tell him suddenly. My grip lessening on his hand but I still don't let go. Not even realizing I'm doing it. "That is true. I got sick with a common cold." He says. I stare at him, scrunching my nose. I glance down to see our hands still holding and I let go quickly. "Right, glad to see you're feeling better." I grab the baskets from the ground, stacking them so it's easier to carry.

"Thank you, let me help you." He begins to take the baskets from my hands and surprisingly I let him. We go to the tent to put the baskets away. "Thank you." I say softly, he smiles. His dimples forming even more. I feel my body stiffen and I don't know what to talk about with him.

"Would you want to join me on a stroll in town?" He asks me suddenly and I go to talk but he speaks up once again. "Not today, maybe during the weekend. When you've finished your tasks." He finishes, he seemed nervous and I still stay silent. Not knowing how to respond without stuttering or making myself look like an idiot in front of this beautiful man. "You don't have to, it would be as friends." He assures me, the word friends disappoints me though. I smile. "I would love to join you." I begin to walk out of the tent. "Even if it was more than friends." I tell him.

"I have to go to my higher up, maybe I will see you in the evening?" I ask him, turning to look at him as he still stood in the tent. "Maybe I will look forward to it." He responds and I break out into a smile before walking away.

Days pass, Esther has been busy with Ryan along with her duties so we haven't seen each other much. Only before we go to bed and attempt to catch each other up on everything that has been happening. Jasper comes to find me every day. Even for a short minute it's only to talk to me. Making sure I'm still up for our stroll on Saturday evening, today. He will be seeing me outside of my uniform. Unfortunately he will still be in his. I don't mind it though, I rather enjoy him in it.

I finish up with my tasks for the day, changing into a frilly black skirt and a light pink long sleeved shirt. Tucking it into the skirt. I go to the mirror, checking out the outfit before putting my boots on. It's rare I ever wear these types of clothes. Only being in my uniform lately. It was a nice change. My hair was curled as normal, styled in a certain way that was a little different than what I do for work.

I was happy with how I looked. I head out of the bedrooms and go to the dining hall where he told me to meet him. To my surprise he was already standing there. He didn't notice me walking up to him so I try to stay quiet before loudly saying "boo!" His body jolts up and he looks up at me. "Oh my goodness." He clutches his chest. I laugh, apologizing. "That was too good!" I clap my hands together.

"That was good, but just know there will be payback." He tells me and I smile. "Oh really?" We begin to walk. "Mhm, you'll never expect it." He looks ahead, leading me to the horse stables.

We take his horse into town, I hold onto him the whole time. Maybe more than I have to but I don't hear him complaining.

Once he gets to a spot to tie the horse to I let go of him so he can get down. I watch as he ties the reins to a pole. He pets the animal before his attention goes to me. He lifts his hand and I take it. I swing my leg over and make sure my skirt won't slide up.

I then panic on how I'm going to get down. "I have never really been on a horse before." I tell him suddenly. He furrows his brows. "You got on with ease though?" He reminds me and I smile awkwardly. "I just watched how you get up and I hoped for the best." I tell him and he begins to laugh.

"Just jump down." He tells me and I look at the ground and it feels higher up than it actually is. "I'm a little fearful, Whitlock." I admit to him. "I got you darlin, I promise." He says, but it's still not enough. "What if my skirt rides up?" I pat down the fabric that I am wearing.

"I won't let that happen." He assures me and I sigh out. I was still holding his hand. "here." He lets go of my hand and then both of his hands grab my waist. "Jump off, I got you." He nods for me to do it and I grimace. I close my eyes and then do as told. I let out a little noise but he puts me down gently and I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

"See, nothing to worry about when I'm around." He nudges me and I smile. "Sorry about that." I frown, holding my hands together. "You're quite alright, darlin. It was a cute moment I will cherish." He takes my arm and we begin to walk. "Darlin a new name for me?" I tease him, moving closer to him as I hold his arm. I look up at him to see him smiling. "If you'd like it to be." He looks down at me in the corner of his eye instead of actually turning his head.

"I don't mind it." I answer, looking forward.

The rest of the day we talked, he bought me little treats throughout the stroll. Telling me it's to support local businesses.

It was a wonderful date that I want to do for the rest of my life. Especially with Jasper. It has only been a week and I think I've fallen for him. In a way that's almost painful when we're apart. I take in every minute we have together.

Weeks pass and it seems we only fall for one another harder than the day before. Our lips haven't even locked but the passion between us is something I've never felt before. We talk of the future. The ending of the war and building a life together.

At least that's what we did until he got told he was leaving to another base. He ran immediately to me to tell me. "Maybe I can leave too, you guys will need nurses." I say in a hopeful tone but he frowns. "I was told they already had their nurses at that base." He was gripping my hand as if I would go away. "I can still ask. We have to be positive." My chest began to move up and down. Panicking. You never know what is to happen in the war.

If this will be our last moments together. I couldn't bear the thought of never seeing Jasper ever again. "Hey, my darlin. It's okay. It's okay." He places a hand on my cheek trying to soothe my thoughts away. I lean into his hand.

"I will write to you every day." I tell him, letting go of his hand to pull him into an embrace. His arms go around me, holding my waist tightly. "As I will do the same." He whispers, kissing the top of my head. We let go and I stare at his lips. One of his hands was still on my waist.

A tear fell from my eye. "Don't cry, darlin." He kisses it away. "I'm not." I lie.

He lets out a small, pain filled laugh. "Can I kiss you?" I ask. "You don't have to ask, my love." He tells me and I put my hand on the back of his neck as I pull him into a kiss. The touch of our lips leaves shivers down my spine. Igniting a fire within me and I never want it to go out.

I never wanted this feeling to go. Even when he left, I saved every letter he sent me. I waited for every letter to come. Writing back immediately.

Then a week passed where I got nothing. Then it turned to two weeks. I couldn't sleep, knowing there was something wrong. He wouldn't do that to me. He wouldn't stop writing to me for no reason. His last letter filled with love and affection. He couldn't have just lost that feeling with me. Something had to have happened. I ran to Ryan not knowing who else to go to.

Esther and him were eating together when I showed up. I looked like a mess. My hair hasn't been kept together, my clothing wasn't as neat as usual. The eye bags under my eyes showing how much sleep I haven't been getting. "Have you heard from him?" My voice was raspy and hoarse. Ryan's eyes faltered and I didn't know what that could mean. Anxiety filled me.

"Have you heard from him, Ryan?" I repeat myself. Esther stared at me sadly. Did she know something I didn't? Did everyone know something I didn't? "Ryan?" I ask.

"They can't find him." He tells me and my body straightens. "What do you mean they can't find him?" I ask.

"He was doing a stroll, he was by himself and hours passed. He never showed back up. I just got word from my Lieutenant. He hasn't been seen for two weeks. His horse came back but not him." He explains to me and I begin to feel dizzy. I grip on the wall beside me. "He could be found. They can find him." I say, it was mainly to myself. I started to spiral. Clutching my chest. "He might've um, he must've gotten lost. The horse possibly flung him off." I say to the two in front of me. "Running off without him, you know? Right?" Eyes filled my eyes as I look to them for reassurance but their faces don't give me what I wanted.

I lose it and begin to sob. Seconds later arms hold onto me. It was Esther. She tried to give me comforting words but nothing works. I soak her shirt as I cry.

I cry only to feel numb. The numbness growing as more weeks pass and nothing new is brought to Ryan or to I. He's officially a missing soldier. They want to call him a dead man but I won't let them. I won't let anyone call him a dead man. He's alive. I know it. He can't be dead.

I ended up getting moved to a new base, Esther and Ryan also were coming. There's been cases of animal attacks here. Draining blood from the bodies. It's incredibly strange. Us nurses are working hours on end, even going into the next day. Helping the villages around the base as we've been instructed to do.

I was told to go to one with Esther, and two other nurses. A few soldiers were guarding the village, Ryan was luckily one of them for Esther. They were the lucky couple. Somehow always getting put together. I was envious. Wishing that could've been Jasper and I and we never would've been separated. He never would've gone missing.

It was a late night and Esther and I were working the shift tonight. Working with children that had lost their parents. I was tired, holding a toddler in my arms. Esther was reading a story to the older children to get them to bed. The toddler I held was fast asleep. His slowed breathing only made my tiredness worse.

And eventually I accidentally fell asleep.

Waking up to the sounds of screaming outside of the tent. My eyes shot open, the toddler I once had in my arms was now in a crib beside me. I look around to find Esther but I couldn't see her. I count to make sure all the children were there and it seemed like one was missing. Maybe they were going to an outhouse is what I thought to calm myself but when I remember I woke up to screaming I go to the exit of the tent. Hearing another scream.

I look back to the sleeping children. None of them even flinching to the scream. I poke my head outside of the tent and see something run in front of me. I gasp, getting back into the tent.

I back away not knowing what to do. It was fast. Faster than a human, faster than any animal I've ever seen.

I look around and find a metal stick that's to control fires. I step outside of the tent. Hearing a scream again. This time I realize it's Esther's screams. A child crying with it. My heart begins to race and I run towards the sound. Staying quiet.

I look up to see smoke, along with light further in the village. I grip the stick and head towards the fire. It was a stupid idea but I couldn't just let Esther die. Along with that poor child.

As I get closer I see Esther holding the child. There were people standing around her and she was cornered. I didn't know what to do. I stood there like a coward. Like a fool.

I am a fool.

I didn't even notice the man that stood behind me. The man who grabs me, covering my mouth as he bites into my neck. I let out a muffled scream. I feel my blood draining from my body but it stops and my body drops to the ground. I see a woman attacking the man who just bite me.

I feel immense pain growing in my neck. I sweat from the pain. I groan, gritting my teeth together. The woman comes over to me and I stare at her in fear. Her eyes were red and she wasn't a woman. She seemed to be a teenager. "Who-" I grunt trying to speak but she just shushes me. It seems like she's about to kill me but a man shows up behind her. "Hold." He says.

"She's a strong one." His eyes were wide as he stares at me. I sit myself up, leaning on the wall, still breathing heavily from the pain. "Who are you!?" I scream out, still holding my neck. The pain growing throughout my body.

"Shh." He puts a finger to his lips. I glare at him, confused on why they are shushing me. I'm confused on why a bite from a man is hurting so badly. Burning my insides.

"What is happening to me?" I beg to know.

I don't get an answer though. I don't get an answer, I never do. Three days of agonizing pain. They left me in an empty village that was killed off.

I sat against a wall the entire time. The only sight I see is the body of the child I never saved along with Esther who still held that child. Even while dying. And the man that attack me with no head beside me.

The sky changing was the only thing that kept me going. Begging that this would pain end eventually.

And when it did I stood up. A strong smell filling my nose. The smell of blood but stronger than usual. I felt feral.

I walk towards the smell, it was coming from the children's tent, the one Esther and I were in three days ago. The night it happened.

I enter inside, seeing the bodies of the dead children. I cover my mouth and nose, smelling their blood. Making me weirdly hungry. I felt disgusted with myself. I felt like I was stopping myself from doing something I know I shouldn't do.

I hear a small voice and I groan out, the feeling getting stronger. My eyes shoot around the tent needing to know where it's coming from. I see movement beside a crib and I go over to it in a fast motion I didn't even know I could make. I see a woman lying there. I worked with her. She's one of the nurses. She seems to be waking up. Her eyes open and look at me as I stand over her. "[Name]?" She mumbles and I just stare at her not knowing what to do but I know that my urges are to suck on the blood from inside her body.

"[Name] are you okay?" She asks me, starting to sit up, my nostrils flair. I start to breathe out of my nose heavily. "You're acting weird." She holds her head and I try to back up but it feels like my body is stuck in place. I see blood from the side of her forehead.

She goes to speak to me again but in a quick motion I'm biting on her neck and draining the blood from her body. She tries to scream but she can't. I feel someone behind me but I don't care enough in this moment as I feel like I've been starving.

Hands wrap around my body and pull me away from the woman that I can't remember the name of. "You've drained her completely, hun." A gentle voice tells me and I glance up to see a blond man with golden eyes staring back at me. "Who are you?" I push him away from me, he grunts but doesn't seem to be surprised by my response.

"My name is Carlisle. I just want to help you." He tells me but I hold myself, backing away from him. "Help me with what?"

"Don't you want to know what you are? Why you just fed off of a human?" He questions me and I glance from him over to the woman's body on the ground.

"You're a vampire. You're not human anymore." He informs me. I snort out a laugh. "Those are myths." I shake my head.

They were myths, but I guess they actually exist. Carlisle told me everything I needed to know. He taught me how to control my hungry and only go after animals. Controlling my thirst around humans.

We learned I have an ability. He told me how some have them. I turned out to be one of them. I can make people forget what they're thinking about in that current moment. Make them forget things that happened ten minutes ago and replace their thoughts and memories with something different. We found it out when we were caught eating off an animal by a hunter. We didn't want to kill him and I somehow focused on him and I was begging him to forget everything. Somehow it worked.

Now we've been practicing on random people.

Carlisle has truly been the biggest help in this whole weird thing.

I told him I wasn't staying with him though. I needed to find what happened to Jasper. I told him about Jasper, about how he was the love of my life. I never told him his name though. I wanted to keep my human life private. It was nothing against the man that saved me but I just wanted to keep certain things to myself. And Jasper was mine. He wasn't for everyone to know about.

And after both Carlisle and I knew we were okay on our own we went separate ways but I told him if he ever needed me I'll be in this area. I gave him my name so he can always look me up. I'd be there to help him with whatever it was.

I spent decades, over a century trying to find anything about Jasper but it was like he disappeared off the face of the earth. No one saw him. I couldn't find anything about him. Nothing about his death. I searched everywhere. Even going into oceans to see if his body was dropped in them. Lakes, the desserts around to see if he was in small areas no one could find him.

Nothing. No trace.

It was the 2000's and still nothing. I had given up at one point. Once it hit 1982. It had been over 110 years since my love went missing. A part of me hoped he became what I have. The selfish part of me. The other hopes he's in heaven, getting everything good that he deserves.

I still traveled, hanging out with random covens for a couple years before moving onto the next thing. That's how it's been for years.

Until I got a call from Carlisle Cullen. The man who saved me from damnation. "Have you heard what's happening in Seattle?" Was the first words out of his mouth. "Yeah, I thought the Volturi would've taken care of it by now." I answer him, crossing my arms as I stood outside of an alley in Chicago Illinois.

"We thought so too. But it looks like they're coming to Forks. We have a human they're after." He tells me and I furrow my eyebrows confused on why they would be protecting some random human. "I'll explain when you get here. We need your help." He says and I stiffen, licking my teeth.

"I'll be there in a couple hours." I tell him before hanging up the phone. He didn't need to explain anything. I'd help him with whatever he asks me to do. Even if it was against my morals. It's Carlisle.

And then I was on my way to Forks, Washington.

I pull up to a beautiful house, lots of glass, doesn't really hide anything. It fits Carlisle though. And his wife Esme. I met her once when I bumped into Carlisle. She had just turned. She was a lovely lady. Only got a few days to know her though.

She matched him perfectly.

I park my car and get out, Carlisle, two men, Esme and the human girl were standing on the porch. I raise my eyebrows. "A welcome party, oh you shouldn't have, Carlisle and Esme." I comment cheekily, walking towards them.

"Anything for you [Name]." Esme smiles to me and I grin back to her. "This the human girl we're fighting newborn vampires for?" I cross my arms,  observing the brunette in front for me. She was nervous but she was observing me back. One of the boys pushes her behind him.

"Who are you?" I ask with a smirk. "This is Edward. That's Bella, his girlfriend." Carlisle explains to me. "And this is Emmett." Esme points over to the other boy. "Got yourself a little family now, cute." I hum quietly.

"There's others as well. Let's go introduce you." Carlisle says and they lead me into the house. There were three other people standing in the living room. A man and two women. We get closer and the three turn to me. My eyes widen when I see the mans face. He looked exactly like Jasper...

I walk closer to him. Eyebrows scrunched together. It looked like he recognized me as well. "Jasper Whitlock?" I say the name that almost seemed foreign at this point. "Darlin?" He smiles back and my face falls before pulling him into my arms rather harshly.

"Jasper Whitlock!" I squeal as he lifts me up, I grab his face kissing him aggressively, my legs wrapping around his waist.

"I thought I'd lost you!" I cry out, no tears coming out of course. All he does is hum in response, kissing me once again. "You have been with Carlisle Cullen for how long!?" I jump down asking him. "Since 1953." He tells me and I close my eyes putting my head down.

"I've been searching oceans for you for over a century and a half." I tell him. "And you've been with one of my closest allies for 50 of those years." I whisper. "I could've been with you for 50 years." I lay my head on Jasper's chest.

I then turn to everyone who was just watching the scene confused. Except for Carlisle.

He was the only one either of us told each other about and he didn't even know it was about one another. I didn't let go of Jasper the entire time they told me about what was happening.

Having to reconcile with my lover after the explanation. I got introduced to Rosalie and Alice. Alice was a nice girl, she was super excited for Jasper and I. She kept going on and on about how amazing it was until Carlisle pulled her away so we could catch up on everything.

And when it was just the two of us, I look at him. My eyes piercing into his. "I never thought I'd see you again." He tells me earnestly. "Where did you go?" I ask, my voice breaking slightly. "I stopped getting letters, no one could find you." I tell him and he frowns.

He explains how a vampire named Maria turned him, forcing him to be her right hand man. He told me about his abilities which led me to tell him about mine. About how and when I turned. I told him about Esther and Ryans horrible fate.

How for the past century I literally searched bodies of water for him along with the desert he disappeared at. He told me how he heard about the base attack and heard I was there. He thought I was dead this whole time.

"I am never leaving your side ever again." I tell him with a serious expression.

"I would never want you to." He pulls me onto his lap, kissing me on my lips.

"I love you, I'm such a fool for not calling out your name to Carlisle." I lay my forehead on his.

He kisses me once more. “I am a fool as well, darlin.”

—————————

This was 6000 words. 😕

It took me almost all day.

I hope you enjoyed is all I’m going to say right now.

[wonderingpanda]

Hello! I was wondering if I can request a fem (she/her) reader x 2012 donnie where reader is basically April. Just in the way of how Donnie is infatuated with her. Maybe something of reader being the exact same way and watching him as well and they bump into each other on the way to stalk the other and they end up confessing to each other and happily ever after! (im projecting so hard RN I'm sorry-)

Have a good day!/night!

Nightly Walk

2012!Donnie x Fem!Reader

Sorry this took me a while to finish. I was working on it and then school came back and I’ve been so focused on everything that I barely had any time to work on it. But, I finally finished it so here it is!

Y/n had known the turtles for years. She met them when she was six, began training when she was eight and became an official kunoichi by the time she was about twelve.

The day her sister and father, April and Kirby, happened to meet the turtles as well was a complete accident and certainly not how she imagined it happening but that’s how it went nonetheless.

Ever since she’s been fighting alongside the turtles, training with Master Splinter and assisting her sister in becoming a fully-fledged kunoichi just as she is.

There’s one thing missing from this story though, a crucial piece of information. See, through all her years of knowing the turtles Y/n could never imagine falling for any of them. They were her secret family, her brothers.

But the day she and her family got captured, the day her two worlds collided, was also the day she found herself in Donnie’s arms, looking into his eyes as he held her close while Kraang droids fired from all angles. That was the day she fell for him.

And oh did she fall hard. From that day onwards Y/n was completely infatuated with Donnie and little did she know he felt the exact same.

Unfortunately, there was no subtlety granted for either of the two with their overwhelming feelings. They constantly ended up outing themselves to each other.

Like that time Y/n answered the phone after fighting off a tonne of foot soldiers to try and save April from Karai.

“Hey Donnie!”

“Y/n, you’re ok! You hear that guys? My sweet princess is alive! Did I mute that?”

Upon hearing him, Y/n dropped to the ground with heart eyes leading to April quickly grabbing the phone and responding.

“Just imagine you did.”

Or the time Donnie saved Y/n and April’s dad and she ran to hug him.

“I love you Donnie!”

“Y-you do?”

“As a friend! I love you as a friend.”

“Uh yeah totally, the friendliest.”

And then there was the time they almost kissed.

“You’re not just a mutant, Donnie. You mean more to me than anyone in the world.”

“And you mean the world to me.”

The two stared into each others eyes in a close embrace, faces no more than an inch apart. Donnie had decided to just go for it and leaned in when-

“Yo! What type of pizza do you guys want? I got extra cheesy pepperoni or sweet and sour gummy bears.”

You can imagine who that was. So, you would think that after all the catching and hugging and blushing and near kissing that the two would have some idea of how the other felt. Sadly, they both also happen to be the densest idiots in the entire universe.

————————————

The night started in the lair as Donnie grabbed his bō staff and prepared to leave. Upon seeing him walking towards the exit, Leo looked over and asked.

“Where are you going?”

“Off to see Y/n? Mwa mwa mwa!” Mikey teased, leaning over on the edge of the couch.

Donnie rolled his eyes in annoyance. “No, I’m going for an early patrol. Not everything in my life revolves around Y/n you know.”

“You say that, but then… you’re you.” Raph pointed out.

“We know you want to see her, her gorgeous hair, and sparkly eyes!” Mikey exaggerated with over the top gestures.

“I love her eyes.” Donnie sighed dreamily, giggling slightly as he leant against wall.

“See! You can admit it to us now you just gotta go and tell her.”

“Thanks for the advice Raph but I’m good; there’s this thing called social awareness though I doubt you have any of that in your system.” Donnie smirked with his brows raised, clearly trying to provoke his older brother.

Raph quickly pushed himself up off the couch and began storming towards him.

“Alright, if you’re so socially aware then read the room and tell me how long you think it’ll take for me have you de-shelled and crying on the floor?”

“Ok Raph, why don’t you go take a little breather?” Leo turned Raph around in an attempt to reason with him.

“Fine!” Raph whipped his head around and glared at Donnie. “But when you come back you better hope I’m asleep or else I swear-“

“Bye Raph.” Leo smiled after shoving Raph into another room. He stood thoughtfully for a moment before looking back at Donnie.

“Donnie, has it ever occurred to you that Y/n might feel the same way you do?”

“Ha! That’s hilarious Leo, you should be a comedian.” Donnie began cracking up at the thought.

“Hey, comedy’s my thing!” Mikey stood up and pouted with his arms crossed.

“I’m serious!” Leo took a step forward. “Just think back on every interaction you’ve ever had and tell me she doesn’t like you.”

Donnie thought about it carefully. Now that he was looking at it, it really seemed like-

“Nope! I’d rather just play it safe.” He smiled nonchalantly.

Mikey and Leo collectively facepalmed. Why oh why did their poor purple brother have to be so smart and yet so dumb.

“Well, I’ll be out. Don’t go in my lab, don’t touch my stuff and stay out of me and Y/n’s business. What did I say?” Donnie gestured to them.

“Don’t go in your lab, don’t touch your stuff and stay out of you and Y/n’s business.” The other two turtles repeated. Their voices replicated that of a fist grade classroom.

“Great, I’ll see you later!” Donnie smiled and sent them a wave before walking out.

“You gonna text her?” Mikey asked.

“She already knows.” Leo replied quickly, pressing a button on his T-Phone.

————————————

“He’s just the best isnt he April?” Y/n smiled with her head in her hands.

“Yeah, Donnie’s great I guess.” April raised her eyebrow at Y/n’s actions. She knew she was down bad but man could it be tiring.

“But don’t you just feel like he’s the most incredible, smartest, coolest, kindest guy ever!” Y/n squeaked and spun around, holding her hands to her chest.

“No not really. But that’s probably because I’m not in love with him.”

“Well I wouldn’t say I’m in love I just admire him.”

April sent her a judging look.

“Well it’s not like you’re any better with Casey.” Y/n defended.

“Uh last I checked I’m not tracking his location and pretending to go on walks as an excuse to follow him.” April placed a hand on her hip and smugly looked at Y/n.

“Leo texted me, he’s going for an early patrol. I just want to make sure that he has some backup if he gets into trouble.” She argued in a futile attempt to defend herself.

“Whatever you say. Have fun but don’t expect me to bail you out when you’re stuck on a random street with no way home.” April laughed only half joking.

“You’re the worst!” Y/n called out as she walked out the door.

“Love you too!” April yelled back.

————————————

And so Y/n began her journey through the streets of NYC. Had she been a normal person this would’ve practically been a life sentence but Y/n was confident, if she could take on giant mutants and an army of robot soldiers she could handle New York at night.

She continued checking her phone, following the little dot that represented Donnie in hopes of seeing him jumping over roofs. In all honesty, Y/n understood that there was a creepy element to this, that it could be a little unsettling to follow your friend around at night, but there was more to it than just romantic feelings.

Y/n genuinely understood the dangers the turtles faced and didn’t want to imagine what could happen to Donnie if he was caught alone in the middle of the city. What if Tigerclaw got to him, or worse, the Shredder!?

Sometimes you need to do uncomfortable things for your friends and when your friends are mutant turtles being hunted down by every criminal and scientific operation running in the city, that tends to involve protectively watching over them to ensure their safety.

While caught up in her self-assuring thoughts, Y/n noticed Donnie’s tracker seemed to be right near her. She looked around quickly and saw him briefly jump over a building. Finally, she found him. However he seemed to be doing fine so there was no need to jump into any major fights at the moment. She chose to simply follow close behind and admire him from afar.

But as she kept walking Y/n soon noticed a familiar restaurant coming into view. Murikami’s! Since she had his location and there was no imminent threat, she figured it would be fine to quickly order some food before returning to her walk so she stepped inside.

Meanwhile, on Donnie’s side of the story, he hadn’t noticed Y/n at all. It wasn’t till he took a quick rest on a rooftop and saw someone heading into Murikami’s shop that he managed to get a look at her. Wow, she was so pretty, and brave, and she likes to take walks. He’d love to go on walks with her, hand in hand, talking about stuff… He began to feel a buzzing against his body and could hear his ringtone begin to play.

Donnie quickly pulled his phone out of his belt. Mikey! What did he want now? He frantically answered the call in hopes he wouldn’t be spotted on the roof. Thankfully he wasn’t but he did miss Y/n walking out of the restaurant and making her way to the fire escape of the same building he was standing on.

“Thanks Murikami-san.” Y/n thanked before making her way towards the door.

“Anytime Y/n-chan.” He returned her smile and began packing up for the night.

As Y/n made her way outside, she decided to take a small break from all the walking and standing and decided it would be best to relax on one of the rooftops.

She carefully made her way up the fire escape, unaware of the chaotic phone call occurring above.

“Yo Dee! Do you think you can pick me up some pizza while you’re out? I’m starving.” Mikey yelled into the phone.

“Ugggh, Mikey! I’m kind of busy right now, not the best time.” Donnie shouted back.

“Ok ok, jeez. I’ll ask April to get some.”

“Thank you.” Donnie sighed and switch off his phone after Mikey hung up. Unfortunately, when he looked over at Murikami’s shop Y/n was no where to be found. He let out a frustrated groan and turned around to go look for her somewhere else when…

“Ahh!”

He and Y/n bumped into each other, literally. The second they registered the situation they both began making excuses quickly to cover up the intentions of their separate outings. They were both talking over each other though, so neither could really understand what the other was saying anyway.

“Woah! Y/n! Y-you’re here! How’s it going? I was just going for an early patrol it’s nothing, why are you out here? Wait never mind, that’s stupid you’re obviously getting food. Not that I saw you ordering it or anything, I’m just guessing by the fact you’re holding it. Sorry if I’ve ruined your night or anything, I can stay if you want or leave. Whatever makes you feel better.”

“Donnie, hi! I didn’t realise you’d be up here, I was just going for a walk and figured I’d get something from Murikami’s before he closed up. I had no idea you were on this rooftop, genuinely, I haven’t checked the trackers all night! Sorry if anything got on you I should’ve been looking more carefully at where I was walking. I’m just being stupid tonight.”

As they both quieted down Y/n held up her bag of take-out and nervously smiled. “Want to split it?”

—————————

As the streets of New York buzzed with energy, Y/n and Donnie sat side-by-side on the edge of the building they were on, the bag of food finished and discarded to the side.

“No that was so embarrassing.” Y/n cringed and his her face in her hands.

“You want to talk embarrassing, try counting the amount of times my experiments have gone wrong.”

“Ok, but experimentation is important no matter the results. Either way you’re gaining new information.” Y/n pointed out. Donnie nodded his head in agreement.

“True, very true. Perhaps I should start testing how much garbage Mikey is willing to eat.”

“Now that would be a scientific discovery.” Y/n cheered and the two burst out laughing.

Y/n calmed herself before relaxing her body and resting her head on Donnie’s shoulder. Both went into a momentary internal panic and began to tense up. However, once Y/n looked up and examined Donnie’s red face she decided to roll with it and wrapped her hands around his arm, snuggling into his side.

They stayed in peaceful silence a moment longer before Y/n eventually decided to speak.

“You want to know a secret? I wasn’t actually just going on a walk tonight.” Donnie looked at her curiously as she continued. “In all honesty, I was kind of just following you to make sure you were ok.”

Donnie looked down in shock at her. She was following him? But he was following her!

“You know what’s funny, I wasn’t going on an early patrol either. I was actually going to check that you were safe.”

Y/n laughed and lifted her head up. “I guess we’re both liars then.”

“I guess we are.” Donnie agreed, gazing at her with lovesick eyes.

They began to eat closer to each other, inching bit by bit.

“Donnie…” Y/n was about to continue but as she looked up, she saw a ninja star flying towards them. “Look out!”

She pushed him down and the two scrambled to get away from danger.

“Footbots!” Donnie called out.

“What do they want with us!?” Y/n shouted.

“What do they not want with us!?” Donnie replied.

So yeahhh that night didn’t go too well for them. Thankfully, they were able to get rid of the footbots but then Bebop and Rocksteady showed up! Tigerclaw was apparently meant to also show alongside Rahzar and Fishface but it sounded like they had caught the others on patrol. Details, details! What’s important is that now Y/n and Donnie were on a new roof in a major struggle against two mutants that were somehow beating them… badly.

Donnie and Y/n had been fighting off Bebop and Rocksteady for some time now. They were doing well until Bebop managed to land a punch on Donnie, causing him to drop his staff and stumble back slightly. Rocksteady quickly grabbed Donnie from behind and began to squeez him tightly.

“Agh!” Donnie cried out in pain. Y/n stopped fighting Bebop for a moment and noticed his situation. She started running over to him but was pulled back by Bebop and was forced to watch instead.

“Why are you turtles so hard to break eh?” Rocksteady asked as he kept tightening his grip.

“Donnie! Hold on, I’ll get you out!” Y/n shouted but her words meant nothing as she was unable to move. Then she heard it, a crack and a scream. Her eyes watered and she broke down into tears.

“Please stop it, just let him go and leave.” Bebop loosened his grip slightly and frowned, almost feeling sympathy for her.

“Tell your bosses what you want just let him go.” Y/n begged, now on her knees. Rocksteady began to copy Bebop and started second guessing himself. They had done some horrible things but could they really kill this guy in front of his friend?

Donnie noticed Rocksteady’s looser grip and used the last of his strength to kick him away. “Hiya!”

Y/n copied his actions and picked Donnie’s bō staff off the ground which he grabbed as he took a defensive position next to her. They were prepared to fight a little more till they noticed the two villains were both in tears.

“We’ll leave you guys alone, ok? We’re sorry!” Bebop cried.

“Uh what?” Y/n raised her eyebrow and moved to stand normally.

“Man, why y’all gotta be so emotional? Like damn!”

“We shall take our leave but do not expect this in the future.” Rocksteady pointed towards them as he began stepping back, ready to leave.

“Y-yeah you better not expect it, cause we’re not normally this nice… losers.” As Bebop finished, they both ran away presumably back Shredder’s lair.

“Well that was odd.” Y/n commented.

“Yea-argh!” Donnie held a hand over his shell in pain.

“Oh no, Donnie!” Y/n turned to him.

“I’m fine.” Donnie stuck his hand up and attempted to stand properly but quickly fell out of balance. Y/n ran to catch him and pulled him forwards before he landed on the pavement. She began to feel his shell and noticed a crack. “We’ll get you patched up at the lair, ok?”

“Yeah.” Donnie responded. The two stood there, holding each other for a brief moment to allow their heart rates to go down a bit.

“I can’t believe you almost died.” Y/n breathed out.

“Just part of the routine at this point.” Donnie shrugged it off but Y/n pulled him closer.

“No, no but this time you really could’ve died. Like actually died right in front of me.”

“Yeah but-“

“And it wasn’t like the other times.” Y/n turned to face him with a stern look. “I know when you guys are able to get out of tough situations, I’ve seen it a million times, but this was different.”

“Y/n-” he attempted to look away but she grabbed his head and forced him to meet her eye-to-eye.

“I care about you Donnie and that was scary. Like really scary.”

Donnie frowned and lowered Y/n’s right wrist with his left hand. She smiled, tearfully.

“I need you, you mean more to me than anyone in the world.” Donnie returned her expression.

“And you mean the world to me.” The two then finally, finally, leaned in and kissed. They still had a lot more to deal with but for now, they were happy.

I hope you enjoyed reading! Thank you so much for the request (I loved it) and please, have an incredible day/night wherever it is you reside!✨

[torturedblue]

Part 2 of endless Disaster Twin parallels, the not so fun version

Part 1, the fun version

Considering the series shows Donnie coming off as autistic, he’s portrayed that way much more in fan art and fanfics, etc. We often see it in fan portrayals through an aversion to touch or his senses getting overwhelmed, etc. In the show I noticed Leo actually has a consistent aversion to anything with a gross texture too: like in the first episode when they’re all sliding down Draxum’s vines and he’s tripping over himself, the only one bothered by them “I hate this!”

He also starts flailing in a panic after a worm jumps on his face (and do I even need to bring up how the texture of worms ain’t all that enjoyable let alone on your face), recoils when that evil Hidden City massage guy pours hair serum all over his head, and he’s the most visibly repulsed when Raph gets trash all over them in the beginning of Battle Nexus: New York. So on multiple occasions he comes off as pretty texture or germ averse as well

Both also have insecurity issues about their role to the team: “If mystics can do everything I can but better then why would you guys even need me?” “I’m nothing without them!”

Ironically, in Many Unhappy Returns, Splinter thinks Leo doesn’t know what he’s doing and isn’t taking the mission seriously, saying he should’ve brought Purple. But in the same episode during fights with Shredder Donnie’s seen texting on his phone half of the time. Which is also very parallel to Leo making quips in the beginning instead of helping fight like Donnie and the others

In that same fashion, Donnie’s also goofiest when everyone’s acting serious in Insane in the Mama Train, while Leo’s the unserious one in the following episodes. Another role reversal from their norm

The show also portrays these two as feeling the most affected by Splinter’s history of emotionally distant parenting. Donnie constantly talks about his unmet need for parent-aged-adult approval/validation, and Leo shows his struggle in a more Leo-like way, constantly finding father figure connections in other people like Jupiter Jim and The Dunk. He also rejects/roasts Splinter a lot too, which seems more like a form of overcompensation; acting like he doesn’t totally need or crave Splinter’s attention. The exact opposite of Donnie’s methods. “No! I’m not going back to what’s-his-rat.”

“He’s my all-time favorite actor/role model/father figure!”

“That eccentric billionaire, who was kind of a surrogate father figure to me, has shown me a version of myself I don’t like.”

Leo acts like he doesn’t pine for his affection. I’m sure he sees the way Donnie openly, desperately goes after it when it’s offered and then gets crushed even harder with disappointment (ahem Turtle-dega Nights). No way Leo’s opening himself up to that. I mean come on how sad is the moment when Splinter says they should do something together and Mikey is so eager to jump on the opportunity before it gets taken away, only for Donnie to have to pull him aside and remind him it’s usually some kind of trick or he’s likely possessed? Just for Mikey to immediately respond, “You’re right, I always fall for this!” Ouch. Honestly considering Mikey’s empathy and emotional maturity in mind, the reason both he and Raph seem to handle Splinter’s lack of attention so well is probably also because in addition Raph became a second parent himself, and taking on that role like Splinter, he knows from his own experience that even though their dad doesn’t show it in the ways they wish he would, of course he loves them and what he does do to take care of them as a parent proves that

I think the parallels and direct contrasts between how Leo and Donnie show their dissatisfaction in their relationship with Splinter is probably the most developed and interesting one to me 💔

I mean Leo’s the only one who would actually say something like this to Splinter and you can’t tell me there’s not some deep-seated resentment in the way he looks and the way he says it…

So yeah. There’s the sad edition of Disaster Twins parallels. Let’s all cry together 😃

[savemeafruitjuice]

Tickletober Day 19- Secret

This is a 2012 fic!

Lee: Raph

Ler: Splinter

TW!: STRUGGLES WITH ANGER ISSUES! SOME ANGST!

"Just shut up, Leo! I don't care!"

Raphael twisted out of the grasp of his brother, fuming as he took off down the hall. The leader watched in concern as the younger had yet another argument with him today.

"Raph-"

"No. Screw off."

And that was that. The red-themed turtle stomped to his room, kicking the door shut. He paused, sighing, before sliding down the door and curling up. It just wasn't fair. He couldn't control how he felt, and no one would understand him if he tried explaining it. Everyone sucked. His family sucked.

Tears welled up in his eyes, because he was lying. No, his family didn't suck, he sucked. He didn't deserve to have brothers like this, or his father. Raph pressed his head into his knees.

His father.

He needed help, and Master Splinter could be the only one who would help him.

-----

"Uhm.. Excuse me, Sensei. Could I.. ask you something?"

Splinter looked up from his spot on the ground, and patted the spot next to him. "Come, sit with me." He hesitated for a second, but eventually, the turtle sat down.

"What is it that you wanted to ask?"

Raph sighed, pulling his knees to his chest. "Just.. Why isn't anything working? The things you've taught me.. about anger, I mean." He scrunched his face up, picking at his kneepad. "All the techniques about ignoring it, or having other outlets.. they don't help for very long. I keep.. blowing up."

The elder moved his hands from where they were at his lap, holding them out for Raph to take. The red-themed turtle reached and let his hands rest in those of his father's, a dejected look on his face.

"My son. It is true that you face the struggle of anger. I am aware that you cannot control this at times.." The rat man clasped his fingers around his son's much larger ones, rubbing the back of his hand soothingly. "But it does not have to be wholly who you are."

Raph looked up, confusion evident on his face. "You have many outlets related to aggression, such as using punching bags, or battling during missions- even training. All of those are parts of what makes you who you are, but you are forgetting that not everything has to revolve around such an intense emotion." The turtle didn't seem to know how to respond, mouth opening, before shutting again when nothing came out.

When words came to him, the shorter spoke, quietly and unsure. "Then.. what am I supposed to do about anger? I don't feel like I can beat it.."

"And you don't have to. Anger is not something you can move past with ease. A lot of the time, it will always be a part of you, and all you can do is make peace with it and continue on." Raph closed his eyes, face pinched as he tried to wrap his head around the concept of just.. accepting his anger.

"But.. Sensei, what do I do when I'm out of control? Or- when I'm overwhelmed?"

"Hm.. While your current methods can help calm some of the energy you feel, perhaps taking your mind off of aggravation could give you better results." The teen looked up, perplexed. "Like what?"

Splinter smiled slightly. "Things like having fun, and enjoying the present moment. Come, and I will let you in on a secret." He leaned forwards, pulling Raph into a hug. Though a bit confused, the turtle scooted closer, hugging back.

"The saying is true.."

Raph looked up at the following silence, face pressed against his father's yukata. "What saying?"

"That laughter is the best medicine."

There was barely any time to react before being thrown into a fit of high-pitched cackles. "WhaHA! Fahather, noho- Heh!" He squirmed, hands gripping onto the clothing. Yoshi only chuckled, continuing to scritch his nails along his son's sides.

"Raphael, you must release the tension in your body." The younger shook his head, pressing into the other's side. "Ihi cahan't! Yohou're tihickling mehe! Stohop!" He wiggled to the side, but it didn't go unnoticed that there was very little effort to get away.

Raph flinched as the fingers came into contact with his ribs, elbows pressing down as much as they could with his arms lifted. There wasn't much reason to be as passive with being tickled as he was, but the red-themed mutant's hands never came to push the other's away.

"Hmm, you seem to be more tense than before.. Perhaps I should try a different spot. How about here?" The turtle shrieked, scrunching up his shoulders to his head when claws dragged down the back of his neck, then going to slip into the crook of the area. "NOHO! PleheHEASE! Ihihit tiHIcklehes!"

"I don't think this is any better.. How about here? Possibly here?"

Raph was in stitches, curling up against the elder as best he could as each ticklish spot was prodded at, sending him into quiet bouts of laughter. "Pffeheh- Nohot thehere! Fahather, plehease- IHI- Ihi can't!"

"It appears I'll have to keep trying to get you to relax, my son.."

"HAH! FahaHAtheher, noho!"

[sadakorosee]

Friends fight too

all turtles x fem!reader (platonic, best friend relationships)

summary: friends fight all the time and sometimes it gets a bit too far

A/N: this is probably my, like, 5th angst fanfic of these turtles. told ya im the expert when it's angst; i like to break people's hearts ;)

"the best fights don't occur between strangers. they occur between friends who trust each other." - chuck palahniuk

It was a cool simple Tuesday night when the turtles and you went out for your patrol. You're a still in training to become part of their team as a female ninja - a kunoichi. You've trained under their watch and Splinter's but mostly Splinter. The turtles, when not occupied to save the city under Chief Vincent's order, would train you.

Even Mikey. Yes. His classes aren't easy to catch up especially when he's hyped about you joining their team. He makes sure you eat enough so you can build a muscle.

"Don't be as bad as Raph, though." He said one time and with sharp ears, Raph threw a spare shoe at Mikey's head and knocked him over.

Almost 9 months into training, you were 87% ready according to Donnie's statistics. A week or two and you'll be 100% ready depending on your confidence.

Whoever said ninjutsu was easy, they're nuts. Here you are in your early 20s learning extensive martial arts, you are sure your legs are going to give out the moment you're in real combat.

Which is happening right now - Donnie's monitors picked up movements from a factory 10 minutes from their whereabouts and Casey Jones, who is now the NYPD's lead detective, contacted them that there was a gang infiltrated the place. The turtles responded.

"We'll be there by truck." Leo informed Casey and turned to you, "Head back to the lair."

"Wait, I'm not going with you? I'm almost full-on kunoichi."

"It's too dangerous, y/n. You're not ready for this combat yet."

"So I head straight to the lair after my 9-5 job to do my training despite being in my 20s and busted my ass doing the training and you're benching me? What the fuck, Leo?" You were pissed. What's the point of training so hard if he's pushing you away from real combat?

"Guys, we have to go." Donnie called. Without further arguments, you ended up following them to their mission.

Part of you was excited but deep down, you were nervous. Perhaps Leo was right; maybe you weren't 100% ready and into the mission.

"You okay, angel?" Mikey interrupted your thoughts and nudged your knee. "It's alright, I'll protect you! Just stay behind my back and fight as many bad people as you can!"

Oh, that much you could do and it was easy bringing down human fighters. There were 30 of them against 5 of you. It was a piece of cake until-

Whatever these gang wanted to retrieve, it was important to them as they're willing to hold down 4 large turtles and cut their skin with their blades while you stood there with a grey suitcase in your hand, threatening to throw it into a pit of fire below you. Above you was a gap to the rooftop, a chance for you to escape with the suitcase to your reinforcements outside waiting for you; Casey.

You were about to escape until you see their leader taking out a shotgun that brings down large animals and you knew it was enough to kill the turtles with one shot. Their shells may be bulletproof but their physical bodies weren't.

"Give us the suitcase, little girl, or your mutant friend's head will explode in pieces." The gun pointed at Mikey's head and he exclaimed, trying to struggle his way out but there were more than 5 men holding him down.

"Run, y/n! Get out of here!" Raph shouted but all you heard was ringing in your ears. You froze. You started wheezing at the thought of your friends getting taken down by a shotgun.

You made a huge mistake.

You didn't remember a thing - as soon as your mind was clear, you were outside the now burnt down factory but the suitcase you thought you were holding was gone. Your fists formed into a ball and repeatedly hitting yourself.

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

The ride back to the lair was dead silent, even Mikey didn't look too happy. The truck abruptly stopped at an empty undercross bridge, away from the main lights and city. The turtles stepped outside and this was it; you knew they were furious at something- or rather, someone.

"What the heck were you thinking, y/n? You had that suitcase with you and you had that chance to escape to Casey." Leo started, calm on the outside but pissed on the inside. He towered over you as he speaks, "If you didn't play hero, this case would've been closed."

"Why the heck did you stay up there?" Raph's critic came after.

"Now the suitcase is gone. It was our only source to ever find these gangs. They're tougher than the foot clan." Donnie remained calm but his arms were crossed staring at you. "All evidence of them existing, just gone."

"y/n.." no, not Mikey too. "You could've ran and save yourself. We'd be totally okay."

"They were gonna shoot you, Mike. I can't--"

"Didn't I say you weren't ready for this? And what did you do then? Full-on kunoichi, you say? Not even close to our level," Leo went up to your face, scaring you for the first time. "You screwed up our plans all because you were too cocky to admit you can't be like us. Master Splinter was wrong about you being the addition to our team."

Strike one: to the heart.

"If you weren't stupid enough to freeze like a deer caught in headlights, the cops wouldn't look at us like we're a joke. Thanks to you, by the way." Raph scoffed, eyes glaring at your shaking figure.

Strike two.

"If only you had stayed behind." You couldn't believe your ears when Donnie mumbled that but you caught on, tears pooling down your cheeks.

Strike three.

Mikey stayed silent the whole time they criticized you and went inside the truck. The 4 of them got so caught up in their own feelings and disappointment, they drove off back to the lair not realizing they left you behind in the streets all by yourself.

Just like that - something in you snapped and as the last tear dropped to the wet ground, so does your body.

The beautiful April O'Neil entered the lair 5 days after the accident happened with Chinese food takeouts and Casey walking in behind her with boxes of pizzas. "Hey, guys! Food's here!" Casey called out and immediately all 4 turtles rushed towards their human friends. Mikey practically hogged two pizza boxes but Casey smacked his hand away. "Excuse you. Ladies first." He winked at April.

After the turtles thanked them, Leo broke the ice, "How's everything at the precinct, Case?"

"Actually, we got a lead on the gang's movement. We have our spy with them."

"That was quick." Donnie commented.

"Uh, have you heard from y/n lately?" Raph asked, causing tension in the air. While the turtles looked at each other guiltily, they failed to realize Casey and April sharing looks.

"Have you?" Donnie realized his human friends weren't answering. He turned to April this time. "April?"

"Wait-" Casey pulled April aside, far enough so the turtles don't hear them whispering, "We were instructed not to tell them, April. She said-"

"I know.. she said not to tell but--"

"Guys!" Raph's voice boomed the lair, flinching at how loud he was being. "Sorry but are you hiding something from us? Did something happen to y/n?"

All April could do right now was shaking her head, her facial expression gloomed.

Both April and Casey's phone dinged at the same time. Looking at each other curiously, they looked down their phones. Slowly, the message registered in their heads and without saying anything, they rushed out of the lair leaving the turtles bewildered.

The turtles haven't heard from April and Casey for 2 hours. Whatever the message they received, it was involving their 5th member; you.

Unable to sit still, the 4 of them followed Casey's GPS.

"Casey's at the PD?" Leo frowned. "Then there's nothing to worry about, right?" When Donnie didn't answer and looked as if he's concentrating on something, Leo caught on. "You hacked into Casey's phone and listening to the conversation?"

"What-- uhh yeah," Donnie chuckled guiltily. "But nothing's happening. He's just catching up with another case that's-- hey, it's April's voice!" Donnie put on a speaker for the rest to hear.

"Hey, how's everything going?" Casey asked her.

"It doesn't look good, Case.. They called me at 2am saying her heartbeat stopped from the toxins and managed to revive her back to life but then she had a seizure." April's voice trembled, followed by sniffing. "She was fine when we picked her up that night and told me the turtles were mad at her. They left her when she was dying, Case. I never thought--"

"It's okay."

"Wait, dying?" Mikey stepped back. "y/n's dying?"

"We don't know for sure it's y/n.. m-maybe it's--"

"y/n is a tough girl. She lasted long in that mission. I didn't even know she was stabbed and injured badly. She-- she's good at hiding her pain, April. At least we found her on time."

"T-They're talking about y/n!" Mikey was already sobbing.

"Toxins? Stabbed? Their blades were poisoned," Donnie barely whispered, stepping back in disbelief by what they just overhead. Raph was pacing in the background; Leo had his head down. They will always recall the night they criticize you - yes, they were disappointed they failed the mission but half of them feared for your life that night.

They nearly lost April to Shredder throwing her off Sacks building and they didn't want to repeat that mistake again but history repeats itself.

The PD had built a secret entry for the turtles' transportation to go through and that's where they're headed immediately after finding out what happened to you.

"Chief Vincent." The brothers walked into the PD, their tall forms towering over all the cops and staffs there. They were told to keep their existence a secrecy and they came over a lot for complicated missions so they're used to the turtles bursting into their department.

"Leonardo," Vincent greeted. "I don't remember calling you over about a case."

"We're not here for a case. We need your help with something." Leo started, then Donnie moved to the front handing her a canister with a blue chemical inside.

"This is for y/n.. we know what happened to her so I made an antidote for the toxin in her body. She'd feel more pain but this would detoxify her internal organs. She'll be in good shape after 1 week of bed rest." Donnie swallowed trying not to cry.

Don't cry, Don. Be strong.. for y/n.

"I will." Chief Vincent smiled in encouragement and put a hand on Donnie's large ones, "Don't worry. We have the best doctors to treat her. Keep her in your prayers," she flinched, "if you believe in those, though."

The antidote Donnie created worked, much to the doctors' surprise. They asked the genius behind the creation. After 1 painful week of your body detoxing, you finally opened your eyes to bright lights and the holter monitor annoying you. You finally recall the past events and your body shot up, forgetting the sharp pain on your lower abdomen. You hissed by the excruciating feeling.

"y/n, hey hey hey, it's me April." April held you back from moving so much. As if your reaction says it all, she sighed, "You got poisoned on your last mission. Did you remember?"

Oh yeah, you remember - when your body hit the ground, you were conscious for a while and pressed the emergency button to whoever's responding. The turtles didn't have their own personal phone, except Donnie's communication device, so it was April that came to the rescue. All you remember was being brought to the emergency room and doctors asking you questions. You blacked out after that.

"Yeah." you responded, voice half gone. April handed her water. "How long was I out?"

"15 days."

"Feels like centuries." You grumbled.

April laughed, "Actually, you died like twice and the hospital couldn't find other solutions to help you. Luckily, our friend created an antidote for you after they found out." You frowned. "I know you said not to tell them but Donnie hacked Casey's phone when they overheard me talking. He actually thought I didn't know." She winked at the end.

You finally got discharged and went straight to the Chief Vincent, who helped with your treatment.

"Chief, I'm sorry I screwed up on our last mission. Don't blame the turtles; they were trapped and I was the one holding the suitcase that night. I should've ran and hand it to you."

"Well, sometimes things don't go our way. But the good news, our medical team managed to track down the poison that came from your body and traced it to a well-known dealer in (F/C/N). Thanks to you, our team is already there apprehending them." She put a hand on your shoulder. "Good job, l/n."

"Good job but at the cost of my life." You grumbled.

April chuckled and put her arms around you. "Wanna see our turtle friends? They've been waiting for your return."

It felt like years since you last walked into the lair, when it's only been 15 days. Even though you missed the turtles, you were anxious. If they weren't so concerned about looking good infront of the humans and paid attention to your injury, none of this would have happened.

But you were at fault too and you accepted that.

"Guys!! Guess who's home!" April yelled out, surprising you a bit cause you were deep in your thoughts.

You heard loud footsteps running towards you and without warning, Mikey landed infront of you making you scream in surprise.

"Whoa whoa whoa! Chill, it's me Mikey! We're cool!" he stepped back after seeing your terrified expression.

The rest huddled up infront of you asking questions here and there until April pushed them away. "Guys, she just got discharged; go back a bit. And no Mikey, she did not see Rihanna at the hospital."

You waved meekly. "Hey, guys."

Raph couldn't help himself and hauled you up in a gentle hug, his chin over your shoulder. "You dumbass. Don't you ever do that again." He forgets about his dignity and sobbed after finally hugging you. Feeling your flesh against his. You were alive. You're in his arms.

Donnie came next and hugged you gently, your arms around his neck. Of course, you didn't miss him sniffing. "Thank goodness the antidote worked. I-I was desperate to make it for you a-and if it didn't work, y-y-y--"

"Okay, braniac." You pulled away laughing, wiping his overflowing tears from his cheek. "It worked and it was hell for me but my body is healthy, thanks to you." You kissed his forehead.

"And you--" you turned around to see Mikey waiting for his hug and you jumped into his arms. "If I die, who's going to finish our hip hop Christmas album?"

"I'm not finishing it without you, angel." Mikey sobbed.

Then finally, Leo. Man, he was getting antsy waiting for his turn to properly welcome you home. And apologize to you earnestly. When you turned around to hug Leo, he was bowing 90 degrees at you. Your eyes widened.

"I'm sorry for what I said to you," Leo remained still in his position. "I was angry and blinded by my pride that I overlooked my own team member and sister who was injured badly to the brink of death. For that, I'm truly sorry and I'm willing to accept any punishment you're giving me."

"Any punishment, you say?"

"Yes." His fists shaped into a ball.

"Buy me Baskin Robbins, choco mint flavoured and--" Leo looked up when you paused and thought he'd be seeing you angry or upset but instead sees you forming tears in your eyes, "--a hug from you. I haven't gotten a hug from you ever since I started my training."

Leo reacted and hugged you so tight you might suffocate to death but you didn't care.

[tmnt-tychou]

The age-related question about Splinter kinda made me sad to think the boys could potentially live upto 150-200 while Splinter would most likely pass away at their late 20's/early 30's ☹️. Though, it would be bittersweet if before that any of the boys got a girlfriend and by then Splinter would be so loose about it even if their GF was a psychopath or she had a loose screw in her head because Splinter wants to at least see his 1st grandkid before passing away of old age regardless of what his other sons say about it

There isn't a question here, so I'm not sure how to respond. But since we're on the subject of Splinter, I'd like to share my fan theory that the further Splinter is removed from Hamato Yoshi, the worse ninjas his turtles are. (And also the less sense their rivalry with Shredder makes.) So the best ninjas in the TMNT universes are the ones where Hamato Yoshi--a ninja master--is Splinter. This gives the turtles a direct pipeline to a master teacher and would thus have the most to teach them. This includes the 80's cartoon turtles, 2012, IDW and Rise. Having access to a master increases the turtle's chances of becoming a master themselves at a younger age. (Rise might be the exception, as we saw that he didn't really get serious about teaching his kids until they were teenagers, so they would most likely take a little longer to master their craft. But then again, Rise has the most terrifying villains and thus forced the boys to adapt or die.) 2003 turtles are a special case. Splinter was not Hamato Yoshi, but we find in the series that Splinter still had access to Yoshi's spirit and his knowledge to pass on to his students. But even then, when Leonardo surpassed Splinter's teachings, he had to then send Leo out to find a new master- The Ancient One- to continue his training.

Next would be the 90's turtles where Splinter was also Yoshi's pet rat, but seemed to pick up a LOT in both the fighting style and the philosophy of ninjitsu.

Lower on the totem pole would be the Bayverse turtles, where Splinter taught them from a book he found. And I would argue that they're not necessarily good ninjas. They are passable ninjas. They're just so fucking huge it's very difficult for anyone to beat them. And despite their strength, they still barely won against shredder because they had the muscle, but not the skills. (And Splinter's face off with Shredder in the lair made no sense because they had never met each other before.)

Coming in last would be Mutant Mayhem turtles, who learned martial arts from watching movies. I think the introduction of the Shredder could give these kids a wake up call to how little they know about ninjitsu--if the writers had any sense of self awareness of the origin they gave this series. It will be interesting to see exactly how Shredder relates to everything that happens in this universe.

[tia-amorosa]

Sunset Died - The Returnee household

Out of the Dark (longer Part)

It's the next morning. And it's now quite cold. Emma goes out into the garden every morning to harvest the fruits and vegetables that have been growing there. Then Blair noticed that her cell phone was vibrating in her pocket. . "ah… that must be the message Cyclone had prepared. …"/ "I hardly think it will reach most of them, they haven't had their cell phones in their hands since the impacts.."/ "I know…".

"That's why he'll go to the meeting point later. But first… i'll go to Morgana."/ "Are you excited?"/ "A little… I haven't taken the bandage off for a while now."/ "Everything will be fine, sweetie"/ "Yes… It's all healed. I'll just see everything from a different perspective… And pay more attention to my surroundings."/ "Yes, you have to".

Blair went back into the house. She sat down in one of the armchairs in the guest room to rest a little longer. But the rest didn't last long. "Good morning, did I scare you?"/ "Hn, no, you didn't. I can hear you before you even enter the room. Do you think I'll keep my heightened senses or will they go back as soon as I can see again?"/ "I think that depends on how well you've trained them. When do you want to leave?".

"Right after breakfast. Although I don't really feel like eating…."/ "At least have a snack, okay? Have you already told your mother to come?"/ "VJ has informed her. He's a changed man. But I'm very sorry that he's lost his father and his brother. He's doing a lot here at the moment, even delivering messages. He should be rewarded for it at some point"/ "then come up with something nice"… Blair smiled and nodded.

Blair wanted to get to the small clinic as early as possible. Her hands were shaking and she was finding it hard to concentrate on anything at all. But when she heard Morgana's friendly voice, her nervousness eased at least halfway. "Good morning, Blair, glad you're here."

Blair's mother was also already there. "Oh, my darling, how are you? Are you in pain? Is there anything I can bring you?"/ "I'm fine, Mom… We don't need anything right now, but thanks". In the meantime, Cy had a bit of small talk with Morgana, who also enquired about his condition.

"nice dress "7 "well, let's say fitting appropriate to the circumstances, hnhn. How are you doing? Is the antibiotic working well?"/ "Fortunately yes, slowly getting better. I'm glad she hasn't caught it yet"/ "Pneumonia isn't usually contagious, but you have to be careful. Blair, shall we go then?"/ "mhm, yes".

Morgana went into the first aid room with Blair, "all right, again for my better understanding… That woman provided your eye without any medical knowledge"/ "She did have knowledge, Morgana, she just used alternative methods. The splinter is out, but…just start, okay?". Morgana saw that Blair was nervously playing with her fingers. "All right, as a doctor, I haven't had a case like this yet, but I'm very curious."

Morgana began to carefully remove the bandage from around Blair's head. She made sure that it wasn't too bright in the room. Because if you keep your eyes covered for a long time, they have to get used to the light again for a while. Then she was allowed to open her eyes. Susan found it difficult to look at her, "and?"/ "It looks good at first glance. I don't see any wound fluid or other secretions, everything is dry and clean"/ "But white, hm?".

Morgana looked at her and nodded briefly with her eyes closed. "Well… I expected that. She had said that I was still lucky and didn't lose the whole eye, just the lens"/ "And she removed it really well. The eye has recovered. I can only see a few small black spots"/ "I've had them for many years, ask mom". Susan was still a little frozen. Until she finally responded "y-yes… That's right".

"The… The ophthalmologist said it was nothing serious, just some kind of pigmentation on the sclera… My goodness, Blair…"/ "It's okay, Mom. I can still see out of the other eye, almost a bit better than before, hnhn. And… What do you say, Cy?"/ "I just see a beautiful woman. And Morgana's right, it looks good".

Blair looked at her boyfriend. Then she breathed in and out a little shakily. "I'm so incredibly grateful to you, Cyclone, and Emma too. You've been looking out for me all this time. I've often felt so lost. But this… It's really something I can live with"/ "and I, I'm grateful to have you back too"/ "Oh, Mom." Blair stood up and hugged her mother.

It was an emotional moment for everyone present. But especially for Susan, who never doubted that her daughter was still alive. "Why didn't dad come with me"/ "oh, you won't believe it. He was in the lab very early today and then shouted at the top of his voice that the internet was back, I can't believe it". A slight smile crossed Cy's face, but he spoke in a serious voice. "We still need to talk about this, confidentially, all of us".

Morgana looked at him with wide eyes and almost whispered: "You really did it…". He looked a little embarrassed to the side. "I'm not one to brag, but yes, the internet is back on, thanks to me. With a few exceptions."/ "That's amazing, thanks, Cy. That opens up new possibilities for us," said Susan excitedly. "As I said, there are still exceptions."/ "And which ones?"/ "I can't keep the line open non-stop for 24 hours. It usually only works for a certain period of time. And I hope that not everyone goes in at the same time, otherwise everything will collapse again."

"I hope that a solution can still be found," said Morgana expectantly. "I'll do my best. And what is this? Who's the lucky one?"/ "Still the same man." He looked at her in surprise. Because everyone knew that there were problems between Morgana and her husband from time to time. "really? Wow, congratulations"/ "thank you, we're happy"/ "and I'm happy for you, Morgana, that's wonderful"/ "thank you, Blair. Would you like to go outside now?". Blair took a deep breath. "I would love to. But alone, please… alright?". Susan looked at her daughter skeptically. But Cy reassured her, "She'll be fine, don't worry.

Cyclone accompanied Blair outside. She had to blink hard for a moment. Until a few minutes ago, it had been pitch black for her. It took a little while for her eyes to adjust to the new situation, because it was brighter outside than she had thought, despite the bad weather. It was raining lightly, but the drops somehow felt good on her skin. "That's… Holly, isn't it?"/Yeah, it looks like it. I'll probably run into her parents sooner than I'd like"/"don't let them bother you, Cy, okay?".

"I won't be bothered, not by them. And I bet they're just the puppets of those who are really responsible for all this"/ "you're still holding on to the idea that…"/ "It's a fact, not a conspiracy theory like some people want to make it out to be. And I'm not the only one saying that. So you want to explore a bit of the area now?"/ "mhm…"/ "o.k…. Take care of yourself… I love you". Blair smiled and gave him a deep kiss. Then she set off to be alone for a bit and get her own impression of the surroundings.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

End of this Part

@greenplumbboblover ☺

[agentmarymargaretskitz]

@wwheeljack asked: A cuddle pile/some comfort for the original four after a mission during the TCW era, perhaps? Maybe Cross was injured and Tech supports him? Need some gen with the original four badly.

(CW for injuries. Also I’m writing this on my tablet as I am in the middle of moving. Yay. However, this was a lot of fun to write on a break)

“Crosshair, get to the ship!” Hunter ordered over the comm channel.

Τhe sniper ignored his older brother’s command and realigned his next shot up in he tree. Another droid’s head sailed off while the body hit the dirt. B1s were almost too easy at this point for him to pick off, even though Clone Force 99 had received combat clearance five months ago. It had hit the point where he and Wrecker created a competition to see who could take out the most in a standard week. Loser scrubbed down the can.

Crosshair had no intention of losing this week.

Two more shots. Two more heads.

“Get down now, Crosshair!”

“You’re not clear yet,” he argued back, peering up from the scope to see them running for him. “Hold on.”

Tech’s voice now came onto the channel. “You have done sufficient damage. Now please get down from there.”

“Ugh, you-“

Shots came firing at him now. Crosshair pulled his scope back up to see a wave of B2s flanking a tank. He positioned the barrel to get a shot right through the barrel of the tank. One shot, and then-

The tank fired first and splinters erupted below him. Crosshair tore his helmet away as the branch he was seated on suddenly gave way.

“Crosshair!” Wrecker screeched.

He must have been twenty five feet high above the fast-approaching ground. Someone was screaming. Instinctively, Crosshair closed before he hit the ground. His whole body jolted by the impact when something harder than dirt struck his side. For a moment, breathing was a forgotten bodily function.

“Crosshair!”

His mouth opened to suck in a deep breath. Instantly, pain crackled around his rib cage. Crosshair blinked his eyes open to see Hunter sprinting towards him, yelling something he didn’t comprehend.

He closed his eyes again.

~!~

“Crosshair.”

He didn’t remember falling asleep.

“Crosshair, you must respond.”

“Go,” he whined, but his chest ached when he inhaled and opened his eyes.

The first thing that struck the sniper was the interior of the Marauder, followed by the realization of laying flat upon his bunk. Hanging off the edge of the rack was his twin brother, typing rapid fire onto his datapad. Tech paused for a moment and looked back at him before reaching into one of his multiple pouches.

“There’s not rocks in there again, are there?” Crosshair attempted to joke until he saw a tube of bacta come out of the pouch.

Tech fixed him with an unimpressed expression. “Had I known those sedimentary deposits I collected for geological examination would take up so much space, I would have left most of the samples behind. That incident also occurred four months ago. Now, how are you feeling?”

“Like I went a couple rounds with that trainer who had the lip ring,” he sighed.

Tech leaned down and pulled up their well-used medical kit to take out a gauze package. “I suppose falling from such a height could be compared to combat training against Lees Bardeux. Fortunately, you only broke two ribs, cracked three others, and suffered a moderate abrasion to your temple.”

“Which you’re lucky for.”

Crosshair now realized Hunter stood right behind him, arms crossed. His face seemed to be trying to scowl, except his eyes were somewhat shiny. Seeing that was enough to make the sniper feel crappier while Tech applied the bacta and gauze to his head wound. Hunter always internalized every failure like Crosshair did, although Hunter did it with things that weren’t even his fault.

“I’m alive,” Crosshair quipped, hoping to squash Hunter’s guilt with ill humor.

Unfortunately, the scowl dropped and Hunter looked frustrated instead. “For once, can you just listen to orders?”

A reply of how that went against what their squad did was on the tip of Crosshair’s tongue. However, he found the words difficult to say out loud. Sure, he was a cold-hearted piece of shit. Hurting his brother drowning in guilt though…that would be taking it too far.

“Next time, I’ll listen the first time,” Crosshair promised, hoping it would appease his brother.

The sergeant seemed satisfied with that. Tech gave Hunter a somewhat smug look before Wrecker appeared around the corner. “You didn’t tell me he was awake!”

“Good news, Crosshair is awake,” Tech said bluntly.

Crosshair chuckled before his ribs protested again. “Kriff.”

“You should be feeling better in a few days,” his twin explained, returning his gaze to the datapad. “Unfortunately, you will need to rest and use cold packs, as well as sleep upright and perform a few breathing exercises. Fortunately, none of your vital organs have been perforated.”

“Goodie.”

“We flew outta no man’s land into that Republic-occupied area while you were out,” Wrecker explained as he started pulling the blankets from the other bunks. “Also, we ‘lost’ the comm signal after General Windu kept asking Hunter what happened.”

“Droids get it?” Crosshair asked.

“Chewed wires,” Tech corrected, a gleam in his eye. “Such a surprise for a vessel such as ours, but these things happen.”

Hunter nodded. “They scraped away enough coating before cutting them that even I can’t tell the difference.”

The sniper laughed again before remembering it hurt. “Ow.”

Hunter dropped down and brought their heads together, ruffling Crosshair’s hair. “Still, thanks for covering our asses.”

“Who else are you going to get to do the job?” Crosshair quipped back

[beefromanoff]

Project Mockingbird Ch. 22

summary: another night stuck at the safe house...some repercussions from their arrival.

pairing: Bucky Barnes x OC

author's note: at this point every chapter is another day in their life, I don't want to jump ahead at alllllll and miss the good stuff! speaking of - MILD SPICE WARNING, minors DNI. let me know what you think :)

tag list: @bangtanxberm @scott-loki-barnes @kayhi808 @charmedbysarge @cjand10 @capswife @otterlycanadian

(let me know if you want to be added <3)

chapter list

Who knew thunder could be so soothing? Charlotte mused, pulling a fistful of the plush comforter closer to her chin. The bed was warm, largely thanks to the super soldier sleeping in it behind her. He’d fallen asleep on top of the covers shortly after slipping his boxers back on. She’d initially passed out with him, but when she woke up in the middle of the night, freezing and naked, Charlotte had found a slightly musty smelling crewneck in the bedroom closet and a pair of sweatpants in a drawer. Only a moment after pulling them on and crawling under the covers, she was right back to sleep. Storms never bothered her, but this one felt especially soothing. Something about an exhilarating escape from a mission, a long night, and the peace of a safe house…it was the best nights’ sleep she’d had in months. 

That was –– until the calm of the early morning was shattered by a sudden clamor downstairs—a violent crash that jerked them from sleep to high alert in mere seconds.

“Did you hear that?” Charlotte whispered, her voice tight with tension as she slipped out of the bed and into a crouch on the floor.

“Yeah,” Bucky responded, his hand feeling under the bed frame for what she assumed was a stashed weapon. Sure enough, he pulled out a handgun, checking to make sure it was loaded. “Stay behind me.”

Charlotte rolled her eyes as she stepped softly around the bed. “I’m not exactly the stay-behind type, Barnes,” she whispered sharply, returning to the closet where she’d found the sweats that –– while perfect for sleeping, were too baggy for comfortable stealth. Sure enough, in a chest on the ground was a stash of miscellaneous weapons. These looked like they’d been haphazardly put here for storage rather than convenient protection like the gun beneath the bed. Not wanting to waste time as she heard Bucky step into the hallway, Charlotte grabbed the first thing she saw: a bow and quiver of arrows. She slid the strap over her shoulder, gritting her teeth as the loose arrows clacked against each other. Catching up to Bucky as he crept to the staircase, she loaded an arrow and pulled it taut, ready to fire over his shoulder if anything should make a sudden move.

They moved stealthily down the stairs, their trained eyes scanning for threats. The living room was a mess, shrapnel from the splintered wooden door sprayed across the room, water from the ongoing storm beginning to puddle at the entryway. Charlotte tried to ignore the fact that her discarded clothes from the day before were right in the midst of the fray. At least she fared better than Bucky, clad in only his boxers as he held the gun out and turned the corner fully. At the center of the chaos stood a figure from Stark’s lineup—an Iron Legion bot, the lights through the eye holes flashing red.

Bucky frowned, his gun lowering slightly. “Iron Legion? What’s the emergency?”

The drone’s mechanical voice responded, “Safety check protocol initiated due to non-response from agents. Please confirm status.”

With a sigh, Bucky lowered the gun fully. “Tell the cavalry we’re fine. They can call off the search party.”

“Agent dismissal protocol not met.” 

“Sergeant Barnes confirming safe perimeter and no imminent threat. Agent Rossi present and unharmed.”

The drone paused, the lights turning from red to white, then turned and exited, leaving the mild destruction in its wake.

Bucky glanced at Charlotte, eyes less than amused as he ran a hand through his tousled hair. “Well, that’s one way to start the day.”

Stepping carefully across the debris to get to her abandoned bag, Charlotte fished out her phone, wincing at the flood of missed messages and calls. “Looks like we’ve got some explaining to do.” She tossed his phone and the secure comms device to Bucky, both laden with concern at their lack of communication for ten hours. She shot him a sheepish grin. “What’s the play here, Sarge?”

“Probably better to keep it to the basics,” Bucky suggested, arching an eyebrow. “They know the storm forced us down, communications got spotty.”

“So you don’t think saying we were too busy hooking up to answer our phones would fly with Hill? Charlotte asked with a smirk, her heart still racing from the rude awakening.

Bucky chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah, let’s stick to the storm story.”

As they started picking up the broken door, laying down towels to soak up the rainwater, and straightening the furniture, the room was full of a quiet tension. They’d cleared the security check with the Iron Legion, which would surely report back to the Compound, but they’d still have to return the calls, texts, and mission brief requests –– and they knew the team would press them a little harder than the robot did. 

“So,” Charlotte began, breaking the silence, “are we okay here? I mean, with... this?” She gestured vaguely between them.

Bucky stopped, his gaze meeting hers seriously. “We’re good, Char. If you’re good, I’m good.” 

She nodded, relief evident in her features. “I’m good.”

His eyes lingered on hers for a second before he thought better of whatever the words were on his lips, turning his attention back to gathering their soaking wet clothes from the ground.

“Buck?” Charlotte stepped across the puddle on the floor towards him, reaching out for the clothes in his hands. 

“Hm?” His breath seemed to hitch as he met her eyes.

“I’d hate for our first... whatever this was, to be our last.”

Something darker flickered in his eyes. “When have I ever stopped at one lesson?” Bucky’s voice was low. His words hung between them, the air so thick it was almost suffocating. As much as she wanted to lean into the moment, to drop the clothes and keep the world at bay, Charlotte knew they shouldn’t keep the rest of the team waiting, concerned.

“Guess it’s time to face the music,” she said, taking the pile of wet clothes and turning for the laundry room. “I’ll get these clean so you have something to wear. You can handle the communication.”

“Gee, thanks.” He scoffed. 

“You’re the one always reminding me you outrank me, Sarge.” 

“I’ve never said that.”

“You don’t have to say it, the constant barking of orders does a good enough job for you.” She winked as she turned the corner. 

As she disappeared, Bucky looked down at his phone. The screen lit up with multiple missed calls from Steve. He hesitated a moment before hitting the call back button, preparing himself for the inevitable ribbing.

“Hey, man,” Steve answered on the first ring, his voice a mix of relief and curiosity. “Everything okay over there?”

Bucky rubbed the back of his neck, a sheepish grin spreading across his face despite the seriousness of the situation. “Yeah, we’re fine. Sorry about the scare. We... uh, didn’t hear the phones.”

Steve paused, the silence on the other end almost palpable. “Didn’t hear the phone? For hours? You missed the check in protocol too, you know you have twenty minutes to clear the house and report back before you’re marked safe.”

“Well, we were a bit... distracted,” Bucky admitted, scratching his cheek.

There was a chuckle from Steve. “Distracted, huh? I guess the storm really picked up then.”

“You could say that,” Bucky replied, his voice wry. “It was quite the... storm.”

Steve’s laughter came through the phone. “Wow, Buck. Just glad you two are safe. But you might want to adjust your comm settings if you’re planning on getting ‘distracted’ again. Could save us all a heart attack.”

“Noted,” Bucky said, a genuine smile on his face. “And, uh, thanks, pal.”

“Anytime,” Steve said. “Oh, hang on, Nat has something to say.”

“Uh, okay,” His brow furrowed.

“Bucky?” Natasha’s voice rang through the phone.

“Yeah?”

“Next time you’re trying to be subtle, consider not sleeping with the girl wearing a heart rate monitor.”

Bucky’s stomach flipped as he closed his eyes. “Shit.”

“Yeah.” He could hear the shit-eating grin in her voice. “So picture this, Barnes. You have an all-too exciting escape from what’s supposed to be a non-combat mission, have to land in the middle of a storm at a safe house, miss your check in point to clear the house, and we get notified from the agents monitoring the two of you on the mission that Charlotte’s heart rate monitor is going berserk. Then, you two neglect to answer any of your calls or comm requests for hours, and since we’re unable to fly a manned aircraft in this storm, we’re forced to dispatch the Iron Legion to obtain proof of life.” 

Bucky closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose, but fighting a grin. “That sounds like it’s going to be a hell of a mission brief when we get back.” 

“You could say that.” She snorted. “We’ll cover you with Hill. She’s pissed, but we’ll tell her you were dealing with structural complications at the safe house or something. Storm won’t fully pass until tomorrow anyways, so she’ll find someone else to be mad at by then.” 

“Structural complications aren’t too far fetched,” Bucky raised an eyebrow at the open doorway, water still blowing in. 

“Hey, I’m just thrilled you two remembered to take your earpieces out. We don’t need to be paying for therapy for the poor agents monitoring your asses.” 

“Silver lining.” Bucky groaned, hearing Nat pass the phone back to Steve. 

“Hey, just be safe the rest of the day. We’ll cover for you here, but I’m not sure we can explain a second missed check in.” 

“We won’t make things worse. Thanks, Stevie.” 

“No problem. I’m just glad you’re getting along so well. The team had a pool going that one of you would try to kill the other before you got out of the safe house.” 

“Hey, there’s still twenty four hours left!” He heard Nat’s voice call from across the room. 

“Alright, I’m gonna figure out how to board up this wide open doorway, I guess.” Bucky rubbed the back of his neck, surveying the damage again. “Sorry for the scare.” 

“Don’t worry about it. We’ll see you tomorrow, Buck.”

As he ended the call, he couldn’t help but chuckle at the absurdity of their situation.

Charlotte descended the stairs then, holding a second set of sweats that she extended to him. “Everything okay?” she asked, noticing the residual smile on Bucky’s face.

“Yeah, everything’s fine,” he assured her, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “Steve sends his best.”

She raised an eyebrow, a playful smirk tugging at her lips. “Does he now?”

“He does.” Bucky nodded. “And Nat so lovingly reminded me about this.” He reached down and grabbed her left wrist, holding it up so her bracelet glinted in the light. Charlotte’s eyes flicked from the bracelet to him, widening. 

“Oh, fuck.” 

“Yeah.” 

“So I take it they didn’t buy the storm story…?”

“Not so much.” 

Charlotte giggled, covering her face with her hand as she gave Bucky the clothes. “So much for a seamless first mission.” 

“Hey, it wasn’t so bad.” Bucky stepped into the sweatpants and tugged the sweatshirt over his head. “We just took a little…educational detour.” 

She peeked through her fingers at him. “A training exercise.”

“We’ve been doing them for months.” 

“This was no different.” 

“Wasn’t it?” He raised an eyebrow at her. For a moment, Charlotte looked him over and really saw him. How handsome he was, how the stubble decorated his jawline, how his soft lips and blue eyes were the perfect contrast to his rough exterior. 

“I need coffee.” She brushed past him and into the kitchen. “Want some?”

“Make it strong.”

Hours later, Charlotte knelt in front of the old TV set, her brow furrowed in concentration as she fiddled with the back wires. The storm outside howled, sending gusts that rattled the windows, occasionally messing with the static-filled screen. The spare wood Bucky had used to patch up the door kept the majority of the rain out, but not the chill from the wind.

"Come on, you ancient piece of shit," she muttered under her breath, giving the side of the TV a light thump. "In a place designed by Tony Stark himself, you'd think someone would've thought to install a decent entertainment system. Or at least Netflix."

“Isn’t it ironic that you’d call anything ancient?” Bucky walked in, a can of beans in one hand and a box of pasta in the other. He raised an eyebrow at her ongoing battle with the television. Charlotte extended her middle finger towards him without looking back.

"Having fun?" he asked, a half-smile playing on his lips.

Charlotte stood up, brushing her hands on her sweats. "Oh, loads. It's like time traveling back to the 90s. Except even then, I think they had better TV reception. Not that I would know."

Bucky chuckled, setting the food on the coffee table. "Well, if you're done tinkering, I found our gourmet dinner options." He gestured towards the modest assortment of canned and boxed goods he'd gathered. "What are you in the mood for? We've got spaghetti with a choice of three expired sauces or two-year-old beans that promise a 'home-cooked' taste."

"Hmm, tough choice," Charlotte teased, walking over to inspect the labels. "Do you trust the sauces? Because honestly, the beans might be safer, but the spaghetti sounds more like a meal."

"Hey, we’ve survived worse," Bucky decided with a grin. "If we get taken out by pasta, it was probably our time."

"Deal," she replied, smiling. "But if I get food poisoning, there will be hell to pay."

Bucky strode to the kitchen and started setting up a pot on the small stove. "I'll take full responsibility. I'll even nurse you back to health with our vast medical supplies of... well, I think there's some expired aspirin in the bathroom."

"That’s very reassuring, thanks," she laughed, finding a can opener in one of the drawers. "This feels like one of those cooking shows where they give you the weirdest ingredients and ask you to make something edible."

"They have shows like that?" Bucky raised an eyebrow skeptically.

“Yeah, they have shows for everything.” Charlotte poured the sauce into a pan, stirring it slowly. "Cooking shows, shows where people have to make things out of cake, shows where people get yelled at in kitchens, everything. You’ve really never seen them?”

“I don’t watch much TV.” 

“I probably watch too much,” Charlotte admitted. “It’s how I learned…everything. English, even. I think that’s how I feel more like I’m a part of this world. Watching people live life and be normal…sometimes I can just get lost in it and feel like I’m normal too.”

Bucky was quiet for a moment before speaking softly. “I feel the opposite. Sometimes watching people live their lives makes me feel like I’m too far gone. It’s just a reminder of everything I missed out on.”

“Yeah, I get that.” Charlotte’s voice held a pang of sadness that made Bucky wish he’d kept his depressing bullshit to himself. “I guess I’d rather watch it and daydream about it than not know about it at all. At least some people are out there having normal lives and happy families, you know?” 

Charlotte hesitated, then spoke softly. “Bucky, do you ever think about it? About having a... normal life?”

Bucky turned to look at her, his expression unreadable. “Sometimes,” he admitted. “A quiet life, a family, all that. It’s hard not to think about it.”

Charlotte nodded, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as she stirred absently. “Yeah, me too. But then I think about what that would actually mean—I just don’t know if it would be right. Even before all of this, before Hydra…I didn’t have a good life. It’s not like I had an idyllic childhood to reminisce about or have some desire to recreate.” She paused. “These past few months, with the team…this is the best it’s ever been for me. I don’t think I would ever want to leave this behind.”

“I had a lot of good before the war. A good life. But that’s long gone now.” Bucky looked at her. “The team, the compound…this is a good life too.”

Charlotte gave a small smile, trying not to scare away the genuine emotion in his words.

“Even if we did leave,” Bucky continued. “It’s about whether we’d ever really fit into that kind of life. After everything we’ve been through, everything we are... could we really live like that? Working a normal job, trying to be normal?”

“I don’t know,” Charlotte sighed, folding her arms. “Maybe we’re too fucked up for normal. Maybe we’re just better suited for the chaos and the fights. That’s what we’re built for, after all.”

Bucky moved closer, his eyes searching hers. “Does that scare you?” he asked quietly.

“A little,” she confessed. “It’s one thing to choose this life because it’s exciting and we’re good at it. It’s another to think maybe we don’t have much of a choice, because the other life, the normal one, was taken from us.”

He nodded. “I get that. I used to think about what would have happened if I’d never fallen off that train, if I’d just lived a normal life after the war. But after all these years, after all Hydra did, it’s hard to imagine being anything but what I am now.”

Charlotte looked up at him, her expression softening. “And maybe that’s okay. Maybe it’s enough to find some semblance of happiness wherever we can, even if it’s not the picture-perfect version we’re supposed to want.”

“Maybe,” he agreed.

Charlotte leaned closer, bumping her shoulder against his, a small smile playing at her lips. “Hey, who you are is kind of growing on me.”

Bucky shot her a look. “Oh, yeah?” 

“Maybe it’s the isolation making me crazy…but I’m finding you shockingly less insufferable these past twenty four hours.” 

“I wonder what made the change.” Arrogance was written all across his face. 

“There’s no real way to tell.” Charlotte chuckled as she took the sauce off the burner and poured it over the noodles he’d strained.

After dinner, the night seemed to stretch endlessly in front of them, time ticking slower than usual. They sat in the living room, a restless silence between them. Bucky was leaning back against the couch, with Charlotte lying on her back, her head beside his thighs and her feet on the opposite armrest. Bucky idly re-scrambled a Rubik’s cube, handing it over to Charlotte who solved it in seconds. 

“Again?” she asked, eyebrows raised as she handed the solved puzzle back to him.

Bucky grunted, tossing it onto the coffee table. “It’s too easy for you.”

Charlotte chuckled as she plucked it back up, dropping her head back onto the cushions as she fiddled with it. “What did you expect?”

Bucky gave a hollow grin, his eyes betraying his frustration. The air between them crackled. Last night’s encounter loomed large in their minds, the solitude and the utter lack of distractions making it impossible to avoid.

“So,” Bucky began, his voice low as he watched her hands on the cube rather than meet her eyes, “are we going to talk about...last night?”

Charlotte shifted, pulling her legs up to sit cross-legged on the couch. “What about it?”

“Do you…” Bucky paused, choosing his words carefully, “...was it just a one-time thing? Because of the storm, because we were stuck here?”

Charlotte’s gaze didn’t waver from his eyes, her heart thumping louder against her ribs. “Do you want it to be just a one-time thing?”

“I don’t know what I want,” he admitted. “But I know I don’t want to pretend it didn’t mean anything.”

Charlotte’s breath hitched slightly. “It meant something to me too, Bucky.” She hesitated, then added softly, “And I wouldn’t mind...if it happened again.”

The admission hung between them, charged and heavy. Bucky’s gaze intensified, his body leaning slightly towards her.

“Charlotte,” he began, his voice a husky whisper, “I—”

But she didn’t let him finish. Closing the distance, she leaned forward, her hand reaching up to cradle his cheek, pulling him towards her. Their lips met in a kiss that was both a confirmation and a promise, charged with the pent-up tension of the day.

Bucky responded instantly, his arms wrapping around her, pulling her onto his lap. The Rubik’s cube fell to the floor, forgotten as the kiss deepened, filled with the urgency and passion of their bottled-up emotions. The storm outside once again faded to the background, their mingling heartbeats putting the thunder to shame.

They broke apart, brief and breathless, Charlotte whispered against his lips, “I think I’m ready for another lesson.”

Bucky grinned, his forehead resting against hers. “What do you want to learn?”

“I think I need to go over the basics again,” She gently bit his lower lip, making him tilt his head back. “Just to make sure last night’s…training really sunk in.”

Bucky’s chuckle was low. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this excited to train with me,” His hands roamed to her back, slipping under her sweatshirt and pulling her even closer.

“It must be your new teaching style,” Charlotte quipped, her breath quickening as she felt his heartbeat through his shirt.

Slowly, deliberately, Bucky leaned her back, lowering down until they were lying on the couch, her body perfectly aligned underneath his. “Let’s start with the fundamentals then,” he murmured, his lips tracing a path along her jawline towards her neck, eliciting a soft moan from her lips. Charlotte’s fingers tangled in his hair. Every touch, every kiss made the world fade further from her mind. All she could feel was him. All she knew was him. 

Bucky, Bucky Bucky.

As the storm continued to rage outside, the safe house became their secluded world, filled with the sounds of their synchronized breathing and the soft rustle of fabric as clothing was stripped and discarded on the floor. The urgency of their first encounter gave way to a more profound exploration this time. Slower hands, more deliberate movements, absolutely no desire for this to ever end.

“Bucky,” Charlotte breathed out as his hands found the hem of her pants, fingers dancing across her skin with a tenderness that belied his rough exterior.

“Yes?” His voice was a husky whisper that sent shivers down her spine.

“Don’t stop teaching,” Charlotte managed to say, her voice laced with laughter and desire.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he replied, his eyes locked with hers, a smirk on his lips.

[evenmoreofadisaster]

I really love how well you’ve written one and two, like they’re different from Leo and Donnie because of how they grew up but it’s still incredibly in character, like they are how rise!donnie and Leo would be if they’d grown up like that.

I’ve been wondering if things were reversed and it was the twins that got saved by yoshi and it was Raph and Mikey raised by Draxum (let’s call them three and four because while I know they’d probably be one or two that’s too confusing lol) how do you think you’d write them? Or design them? (If you’re ever interested in drawing/thinking about it for that much lol no pressure)

Like where would three and four be similar to how you’ve written one and two? And how would they be completely different based on the canon personalities?

No pressure to respond I’m just incredibly interested in your thoughts and I like thinking about what ifs at 3am when I can’t sleep lol

Thank you!! That's one of my favorite things about this au

Ooh, that's a really good question. I've never thought about it before but I'd really love to work through this scenario.

If Draxum raised Raph and Mikey, I think his principles would be pretty similar. He would want to raise Raph and Mikey as soldiers, not as his own children.. but, to be honest.. I think Mikey would soften him up a little bit. Draxum probably wouldn't be as strict with Raph and Mikey as he was with Leo and Donnie. In this case, Draxum raises Raph and Mikey practically the same way, but he's a lot more lenient and patient.

Draxum would've guided Raph towards the leader role, but I think he would've trained them somewhat equally, unlike with One and Two.

I can see Raph being this outwardly calm and collected leader, who internally has absolutely no idea what he's doing and has a dash of rage issues when provoked. Unlike EMD Raph, he'd probably be less protective of Mikey just because he knows that he's capable of protecting himself.

As for the sweet little orange angel, I can imagine Mikey being a little unhinged and chaotic who can only be tamed by Raph. He's got a very unique and unpredictable fighting style and is probably a lot more reckless. He's an adrenaline junkie and lives off of danger. He's not afraid of anything, except losing the people that he loves.

I'm not quite sure about their designs, but maybe I'll take some time to think about it and experiment with it. I'm loving this spin-off au already lol.

I know this is mainly ab Raph and Mikey but I'm gonna talk about Leo and Donnie too.

I think Leo and Donnie would've learned how to take care of/look out for each other if they were raised by Splinter. Not that One and Two don't, it's just in a very different way. Without them being categorized into ranks and because there's no pressure from Draxum, Leo and Donnie can learn how to love each other without feeling inferior or like anything is expected of them. There's nothing keeping them from having a good relationship with each other. There probably wouldn't be an "older" twin, they'd treat each other as equals. It'd be so cool actually if they were both vigilantes and fought crime side-by-side. They are both leaders and just an amazing and iconic duo. When they find out about Raph and Mikey, it would go a lot differently. For the most part, I can see both Leo and Donnie/Raph and Mikey wanting to be one family, but I think there would be more hesitance with Raph and Donnie. Donnie, because hey these guys work for BARON DRAXUM of all people and Raph, because hey we should probably listen to Dad. But mainly what's stopping them from merging their families is Draxum and Splinter. Draxum wants all 4 turtles for himself, so that he can destroy the humans and Splinter wants all 4 of his sons and he won't let Draxum take them away again.

I think it'd be pretty funny if this au was basically just one huge parent trap and/or the four brothers trying to keep Draxum and Splinter from finding out the other set of brothers exist because then a war would break out between them.

That's all the ideas I have for now, not sure if I'll flesh it out more but this was really fun to think about. I'm kinda loving this idea and it could be a really fun au of the au lol

[everything-is-as-it-was]

hi riv! how about they’re in a shed for the wip tag game 👀

hey there!!!

loll this one is something I wrote in a fever dream after watching All Quiet on the Western Front. The imagery and music in this one scene was just so incredible, and heartfelt, and melancholy, and of COURSE my brain went to dnp lol.

I've included a snippet of it under the cut. Not sure if I should continue with it, and also I kind of hate that I wrote it in first person but oh well! here we go:

He stares out the window, eyes unfocused and unwavering, fixed on something I doubt I could see even if I went up there to look with him. Ice crystals gather on his upper lip, on the stubble growing there. The window is broken, the frosted panes splintered, likely by a gunshot gone astray, and the glassless hole lets in a small amount of early muted sunlight, basking his features in a soft, cold glare. 

I shift from my position on the floor, stretching out my aching limbs, frozen solid from the cold. My dirty uniform is too small. I think they figured I wouldn’t last long in it, anyway. 

“What time is it?” I ask, feeling the dirt crusting on my face move as I speak. Neither of us have showered in days. Neither of us have thought about such luxuries since the war started, I reckon. “Have you not slept?”

He doesn’t answer, eyes still gazing outward, out the window and into the world. “Listen a moment,” he murmurs, almost too quiet for me to hear.

I listen. I listen and hear nothing. No birds, as they’ve likely fled this terrible place. This place of blood and barbed wire and gunshots and hate. This place that changes every person who walks into it, rearranging their chemistry so that they aren’t quite human anymore. I lost my humanity a long time ago. 

There are no birds. But there is also nothing else. No gunshots, no explosions, no piercing cries of pain or grief. The world outside is holding its breath, leaving no oxygen for the fires of anguish to flare. 

“It’s so still here,” he whispers, as if he’s afraid to shatter this fragile silence we’ve found ourselves in. The only sound is the small creak of the ancient floorboard as he shifts his weight to look at me on the floor, and he smiles. He smiles, eyes crinkling at the edges, mouth tilted upwards into an expression I thought he’d forgotten how to make. I’ve forgotten how to do it too– smile. 

The only smiles I’ve seen as of late were the ones of my comrades as they died, realizing they’d finally find peace for the first time in years. 

“I thought I’d gone deaf,” he says, and laughs, bending a bit at the sheer effort of it, to let out that tiny bit of joy. His breath, the breath that ensures I keep breathing, condensates in the air and then drifts away. 

I do not respond. I’m still looking at his smile, because I have no idea when I’ll see it again. If I’ll see it again. I may die before I do, dying in a puddle of mud like everyone else. Nobody is special. 

“They signed, Phil,” he says, and the words don’t quite reach my brain. They hang in the air of the dilapidated little house we’ve found ourselves in, filling the space. My body feels lighter, but the meaning of what he’s said still hasn’t reached me. 

“War is over.” He nods and looks back out the hole in the glass, like he is checking to make sure his statement still holds weight. If it is still over, if it wasn’t a deeply unfair dream. 

I sit up, not taking my eyes off him because it isn’t true. The war is not over. It is never over. We’re going to keep fighting and killing each other until there’s no one left but old men to draw up treaties in train cars while the world burns around them. 

“It’s over,” he says again, but he’s not talking to me. He’s talking to the silent world, to the birds that have not yet returned, to the bugs seared into the dirt and our friends torn apart, to our enemies we’ve killed and the ones we watched die, to our families who are likely dead and the families who do not yet know that their sons certainly are. 

And then he looks to me. And it’s only the two of us, and that little shack holds the entirety of the world that matters.

[a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual]

ROTTMNT Headcanons: This one is long as shit so buckle up

The boys being able to mind-meld is a genuinely interesting concept 

But all I can picture is them fucking with each other 

Like can you imagine Donnie doing something really important and Leo drops a sick knock-knock joke 

Or the boys trying to sleep and Mikey goes “who wants to go to the grocery store with me?” at like 3 AM

I was also thinking “what would the group’s favorite season be?” 

April: fall

She loves cold weather and the colors and flavors of fall 

Raph: winter 

He also loves cold weather 

He handles it the best out of the boys and he adores Christmas 

Leo: summer 

He loves warm weather, he loves swimming, ice cream, and relaxing in the sun 

He hates cold weather (but he does love Christmas and Halloween) 

He gets cold so easily and the family scrambles to warm him up cause he goes into brumation easiest 

Donnie: fall 

One of the first things that April and Donnie bonded over was their love for fall

He also loves the weather and pumpkin-spiced lattes (cause me to bitch)

April Donnie and Leo will take little trips to a cafe in the hidden city order pumpkin-spiced lattes and talk shit 

Mikey: spring 

He’s the only one in the family without allergies 

The twins are allergic to bees 

And April and Raph have pollen allergies 

So they’re all suffering 

Mikey is thriving he loves the colors and the weather 

The twins can read each other easily 

Donnie has a natural poker face and monotone voice so the group has a really hard time getting a read on him

Leo has spent the past decade training his voice and face to be neutral when he’s upset 

There are times when the group pisses him off and they can’t even tell because he’s got his emotions under lock and key

But because the twins are so crazy similar they’re able to tell what the other is feeling

Donnie says it’s as easy as reading a children’s book

And Leo says it’s like looking in a mirror 

(They’ve bonded over being the most emotionally constipated bitches in a room (cause same))

I don’t know how this thought process came to be but I was thinking: who sleeps the lightest and heaviest 

April: is right in the middle 

She won’t wake up if there’s a small noise in the lair but she won’t sleep through an apocalypse either 

Raph: is the lightest sleeper 

And the loudest snorer 

Like no seriously is a miracle that the humans haven’t discovered them because you can hear Raph’s snoring from the surface 

But god forbid they walk near his room cause suddenly “IM UP IM UP” is being screamed 15 times

Like a sick twisted alarm clock

Leo: was a deep sleeper before the Kraang 

He could sleep through just about everything before the “almost end of the world” as the crew dubbed it 

He’s a close second to Raph but when he wakes up he’s alert and quiet whereas Raph is loud and drowsy 

Donnie: can sleep through just about anything 

He’s used to very loud sudden noises 

But if you touch him while he’s sleeping he’ll spring up like a Jack in the box 

Mikey: could sleep through an apocalypse

You can shake him, scream in his ear, rock the subway car he’s sleeping in, change his normal lights with strobe lights 

Nothing will wake this kid up before he’s ready 

This a trait he’s had since he was a tot and on more than one occasion Splinter thought he was dead 

I was also thinking who texts and who calls?

April: is the perfect mix between texting and calling 

She’ll text when she needs to and calls when she needs to

No one ignored her texts or calls cause most of the time it’s important information 

(and then sometimes she’ll call just to piss them off)

Raph: exclusively calls 

The group could text him “hey” and he will call them immediately 

It’s the most infuriating thing in the whole wide world 

Cause most of the time, all he says is “hey” and asks how they are and it results in a 30-second phone call 

It pisses off the twins 

Leo: only texts unless it’s crucial then he’ll call 

He hates phone calls with a burning passion 

And he’s one of those people who will respond to texts immediately 

When he calls his siblings they answer immediately cause they know it’s life or death 

Donnie: never calls

He’ll answer phone calls if he thinks they’re important 

And he answers texts pretty fast 

Unless he’s working then they’ll get a text back in 2-5 business days 

Mikey: mostly texts but will call his siblings for no goddamn reason 

He’ll call them to ask shit like “what kind of cereal do you think I am?” or “if someone held you at gunpoint and said ‘tap dance or die’ would you live?”

Which is why Donnie stopped answering his calls years ago

I have a gut feeling that Leo was a Greek Mythology nerd (cause I’m a Greek Mythology nerd)

And he came up with nicknames for his siblings

April is Arachne

Raph is Atlas

Donnie is Daedalus 

And Mikey is Achilles  

Donnie used to ask why Leo didn’t have one for himself

And Leo gave him the answer Prometheus “cause I’m a god amongst mortals” was he reasoning 

And when he tried to point out that Achilles, Altas, and Arachne arent mortal Leo told him to shut up

It wasn’t until the twins turned 18 that Donnie accidentally found out his real nickname 

Icarus

[silvercityofreblogs]

Some TMNT07 miscellaneous HEADCANONS THAT I LIKE TO THINK OF

This ends up a bit long. Also, english is not my mothertounge language so, there may be errors of grammars here and there.

Anyway, Some of prev hc of 07!turtles are here. Some of them may be ooc so just look away from this post. I just think that they deserve to be goofy

Leo

While he is the ghost of the jungle, he has his own fair share encounter of ghosts as well. Many of them caused him to get a fever the next morning.

One of the 'encounters' is him accidentally called out for it, other times is chase it, other time is that he picked an unusual stench(he should've ignored it) and questions it. Although he redeems himself from jabbing the supernatural encounter by meditating at night for 3 weeks.

When he tells his 'ghost story' to his brothers and splinter, he has a smug face that annoys Donnie and Raph(with affection) but when Splinter ask him 'Ah, my son, do you experience any after effect the next morning'

Beloved eldest brother cannot - No, he must never lie to his father - Never -

Leo: ...I got a fever the next morning...and it's hard to sleep even if I'm really exhausted...

Donnie: Smug ghost

Raph: Ironic fearless

Mikey: ghost of the jungle being ghosted

Splinter: Even a ghost must learn to recognise its own pride

Leo: Alright, alright, I'm sorry, sorry, I thought it was just dumb local kids pranks that's why I respond. Also, If it were you 3, I'll have you all set up as a sacrifice(bait) for the ghost if we are in a haunted situation

Raph, Mikey and Donnie: Love to see you try, Ghost 👻

He is fond of sharp stuff since he takes good care of swords and other sharp object mechanical parts and etc. For example, he sharp pencil until it's really sharp, every night he make sure that his blades are clean from remains stuck on it.

For that he is in charge of their metal weapon such as fixing broken swords, sometimes Raph sai, he even makes chain but he enjoys keeping them from rusting rather making it.

Also due to his fondness of sharp stuff, he bought kitchen knives straight from the shop, it cause Donatello to transform into mamatello

Donnie: LEONARDO!

Leo: *from his room*oh no, it's mamatello.

He occasionally forgets the name of certain technology products so he refers to them as it and may have forgotten some of their form

Leo: Is the tv really this big? Did it get bigger?

Raph: No it aint, you just shrunk, bro. Remote.

Leo: ..Wha..Oh*picks up the remote* this black thing plastic thing is it?

Raph: I say man 🤦

Silly time aside, Leo is the one who often does solo night patrol when other are busy or asleep.

In the comics of prequel movie, he has killed people, sometimes he wants too far as in broken arms, legs and bloody head and face for the thugs, he doesn't kill them just cause some serious concussion.

He and Raph both can be absorbed in the thrills of battle, only Leo tends to go overboard sometimes upon returning from central america.

Leo reads a lot about the stars, minerals and plants after the movie, he still reads strategy books like Sun Tzu art of war.

I hc that he can write poems, and haiku after his training. fight me

He is fluent in japanese, he picked up on some spanish but he is able to read it well, just not speaking in spanish.

Raph

I hc that he comes clean with everyone about him being nightwatcher after the whole winter thing. He even bowed apologetically to everyone in the dojo

Don and splinter had their suspicious but Don interrogates him how he snuck in and out of the lair.

Mikey on the other hand felt like an idiot for not recognizing his own brother based on the news and rumors that seem so related to one of them. He was shocked for 3 days.

After 3 days, Raph offers Mikey a ride on his bike donning night watchers helmet and a red motorcycle suit for Raph and Mikey an orange one suit and helmet. He wants to make up for his abscence despite being at home. They both had but Raph won't allow Mikey to ride on his bike unless if it's emergency

He paint his nightwatcher bike in red.

Ever since he bacame Nighwatcher, he became a vehicle expert it's mostly on his bike to take care of but he learns other vehicles in order to sabotage a gangs dirty job.

He is also super stealthy, won't see him coming.

Him being Nightwatcher has also made him to remember all the routes in the city, every road and every rooftop.

The others sometimes would tease about him being Nightwatcher. As a friendly sibling joke

Leo: Hey Raph, do you think you have a fanclub for Nightprince? Any admirers?

Raph: No, and if it did I'll run away from them. And it's Nightwatcher.

Donnie: But you're not nightwatcher anymore, you're Raphael, a grumpy sleepy snappy turtle.

Mikey: Haha, grumpy sleepy snappy turtle. Still, no jetpacks?

Raph: Obviously no, that's an offense to all our stealth training. I only have my bike and that's enough.

Donnie: Ah, yes of course your true love

The 3 of them are chased by Raph

It is Raph that started to call Donnie, Mamatello, To him Donnie became 'bossy' but still cares and worry for the well being of others in Leo's abscence and it still stays with him even after his return.

He also has convinced Leo to 'join' him because sometimes he feels like Donnie would became an Aunty-tello after his day job, and that is worse esppecially when he's mad.

Leo: What's in it for me?

Raph: He can sop bugging us about both of us not havin a job. I'll think of a day job that works for all 4 of us.

Leo: I do miss our geeky dorky brother being a geeky dorky brother. I'm proud that he's grown up but he's so...(irritated grumble) I'm in

Raph: Alright, we'll start by giving father extra cakes in silent

Leo: Wha...0_0

Leo went along with him anyway.

But Leo and Raph had a great time bonding and spendy their mundane free time

Raph may not look like it but he really is thinking of a job for all 4 of them

Raph just miss the old days because he actually miss the time they spend togeher.

When they go out on patrol, He is the most shocked towards Leo's violent impulse that he froze and is hesitant to intervene.

Luckily he was able to snap Leo out of it

Raph himself is too a battle maniac as mikey calls him and Leo but as nightwatcher he exercise some restraints.

Donnie akamamatello

Since he works from home, he sometimes cleans up the lair except for Raph's room because he sleeps all day with the door locked(or so he thought)

Since he works from home, makes him the 'leader' of the lair.

His job had him mentally drained because he's dealing with karens and boneheads every day, it drives him insane.

Poor harwoking turtle became sleep deprived, and if he does sleep, he dreams about a working his job without encountering any karens it's so peaceful until he wakes up

I like to hc that deep down he despise both Raph and Leo for just leaving him and Mikey by themselves to take care of the lair.

He can take care of the technological needs of the lair but it's difficult when he and Mikey are the ones that handle it when their father's health need to taken care of

He vents out all his frustration by training with his bo staff in the dojo

Donnie dosen't mind being called mamatello(who else has been managing the lair, splinter is getting old dude) He is proud of it too, because he discovered that there is something he can manage but if one of them calls him while their on a battle or etc. There's hell to pay.

I like to think that when he and Mikey have saved enough money for months they buy medical equipments and technologies, They sill have enough for grocery.

Sometimes he call on his brothers conducts a checkup but really he wants to test their equipment, he is so excited to use such fancy equipment bare with him

Example, Donnie: Raph, Mikey, Leo! X-ray come on all of us! I already test it on dad, It's all of you guys turns now.

Leo: He sounds...happy..

Mikey: Don's just happy we get to buy a new medical tech beside I won't be alone for the checkup.

Raph: Well, better than scolding us for some unfinished chores

Leo: Or buying kitchen knives.

Raph: Nah, I think you deserve that. Wtf, man?

Donnie: Hurry up!

In their nights of keeping the city safe as a brothers together, it's up to he 3 of them to exercise restraint on Leo, making sure that he dosen't accidently kill a thug.

Donnie is little afraid and worried of his eldest brother violent but he will do what he can to keep it in check with Raph and Mikey too.

Mikey

When he decide to quit being cowabunga Carl, he and Donnie come up with a plan to let Raph and Leo experience the horror of birthday parties for 2 weeks after that he works for 1 week before quitting completely.

It's mosly to compensate their absence and boy he enjoys it listening to their reactions from his headset.

Surprised at Raph's ability to adapt with the kids with a monotonous voice and Leo scolding the kids behind the parents back when he had the chance(it's rare don't worry), Both of them a one poin accidently knocked out a kid in the process.

Mikey: How's your job, fearless?

Leo: One of them were holding markers like their gonna stab me. They look like Chucky. It's annoying.

Mikey: *wheezing* Chucky. You're so mean

Mikey: Having fun, Raphie?

Raph: I didn't mean to knock that kid out, they're having fun.

Mikey: Dude, why

Raph: I didn't mean it

Since the 2 weeks of their shift, the kids stop slamming Mikey so hard due to Leo's shift, he scold some of the kids for slamming him when the adults are not seen somewhere.

He thanks Leo for that but that alone dosen't make up for his abscence.

I hc that he was frustrated when Leo stopped writing letters to them, when he didn't come home when his training period has ended.

Mikey opens up his frustration to Donnie and Splinter who empathise him, Raph at the time brushes him off by saying that he wants to stay in his room.

He has so much to tell him, he wants to lean on to Leo after his day job(back when he can enjoy it) like the youngest brother he is.

Yet, he wants to be angry at Leo but he distracts himself by focusing on his job Cowabunga Carl and be a goofball when he's back at the lair to rest before he continues the job the next day.

Having Leo to tell him about his journey is one way

Sometimes he handled the lairs technical issues by himself thanks to his observations on Donnie doing it while he explained to him. In return, he dragged Raph or Leo or both of them with him.

He has a diary in which he writes the name of the parent who scolded their kid for slamming him, he is very grateful to them, they are angels.

In their patrol when they are beating up bad guys and Leo would lose himself in the thrill of battle, Mikey was the first turtle to immediately stop restraint him from killing and Leo immediately snaps to reality.

Mikey: Yo, you nearly killed that punk! Sure their bastards acting all tough and harming folks but we don't kill them, we stop them! It's what we do, remember? Let the police and court, I guess to them.

Leo: ...Yeah...You're right, Mikey, Thanks, little bro.

Mikey: Your welcome, It's my job. come on let's give this to the police

[misteria247]

When Leo had first killed someone in front of his brothers it hadn't gone over well.

It had happened in the blink of an eye. The younger Oroku son had noticed one of their enemies was going to strike Mikey while his back had been turned. As soon as Leo had seen it he hadn't hesitated, only reacted, years of training and skill coming up and showing itself. The enemy didn't stand a chance against the sharp, twin blades. One pierced its chest, straight through the heart while the other blade swiped its head clean off. What happened next was suddenly shouts, Raph's that was full of shock and slight anger, Donnie's that was instantly panicked and disbelieving, and Mikey's small and unsure of what he'd just witnessed. Before Leo realized it, his brothers had begun to reprimand him, telling him that killing was wrong and against the ways of being a ninja. That it was against the ways of the Hamato clan. Leo didn't even think about it before he'd responded rather bluntly:

"But I'm not of the Hamato clan. I'm of the Oroku clan."

The hurt and devastated silence that followed his statement followed the four boys all the way back to the lair. The whole time Leo thought over what he possibly could have done wrong, thought over how protecting one of them had ended up upsetting them in this way. It was strange and unsettling to him, the thought of accidentally upsetting the balance in this clan that had taken him and Karai in during their time of need. The clan that still currently housed him while they searched for the newly mutated Karai. The closer they drew towards the lair, the more unnerved he'd became. Once they'd returned to the home, it was the waiting game for Leo. He'd noticed that Donnie had went to report the mission to Splinter, leaving the other three to their own devices. Leo had felt the boring eyes of Raph and Mikey, the rattled and hesitant aura that surrounded them, as if they were afraid to approach him. It surprisingly cut the ex Foot ninja rather deeply, to have them stare at him in the same way that the servants and other Foot soldiers had for his entire life. Phantom memories hit the black clad turtle, memories of a winter's night at nine years old back in Japan. Of the moment where he'd been forced to act in a similar manner as today in order to protect his sister from an assassin who had managed to get into their home. Of the moment where he'd taken his first life, the intruder's blood staining his hands and arms as he'd stabbed him over and over again with his own weapon. The assassin's dying words echoing in his head, of the whispers of the household staff and guards that followed him at every turn afterwards:

'Oni, monster, cold blooded killer, Shadow of the Foot clan.'

And suddenly the room felt too small for Leo. Before he could even process it he was already going to the guest room that he was residing him, deaf to the spooked and worried calls of his name from Raph and Mikey. Once he was in the safety in his room, Leo slid onto the floor, curling up in the corner and forcing himself to be as small as possible as he waited for the inevitable punishment that would be given to him by this clan's sensei. Would he be banished as well from the Hamato clan, just as he'd been from the Foot clan, for this act of treason?? Would their leader torture him just as Shredder had done?? Breaking him once more and this time making sure that he wouldn't get back up??? Thoughts and anxieties raced through Leo when the sound of a soft knocking on the door snapped him out of it. A voice, soft yet stern spoke up from the other side:

"May I enter Leonardo?"

Splinter.

Splinter was on the other side of the door. Leo's body tensed unintentionally, his hands shaking slightly from the stress. However he pulled himself together, forcing himself to think to the past few months, to the times he'd seen Splinter's teachings first hand, of receiving the rat's kindness despite being the son of his sworn enemy. Forcing himself to remember that Splinter wasn't Shredder.

He was nothing like Shredder.

After a moment's hesitation, and fighting the anxiety and his fight and flight response, Leo gave Splinter the permission to enter the room. The rat master didn't waste time, opening the door and quietly stepping inside the dimly lit bedroom. Splinter quickly catch sight of his eldest son, noticing the tension coming off of him and the barely held back anxiety and fear in his eyes. It didn't take a genius to figure out why Leo was strung up so tightly, ready to spring like a wound up coil at a moment's notice. Splinter knew the sight of the aftermath of being taught under a ruthless and merciless sensei. The older mutant spoke up gently, his voice strong and firm as he made his way towards Leo, settling himself on the bed that was across from the turtle who was still in his corner:

"At ease my son, you are not in trouble nor will you be punished."

Splinter watched as his son took in the words, still tense for a moment before cautiously relaxing his posture somewhat. The estranged father and son were quiet for a moment, neither saying a word until Splinter spoke up again:

"Donatello has told me about what had happened on the mission this evening. About how you had killed in order to protect your younger brother Michelangelo. While I do not approve of this type of way, I also am grateful that you defended your family. I only ask that you refrain from taking another life in the future unless it is absolutely necessary my son."

Hearing those words made Leo's eyes wide, the turtle's entire being seeming to freeze as what Splinter had said processed. Before he could even think about it Leo spoke, his voice small and unsure:

"So.....so I am not banished from your clan? I'm......I'm not hated by you and your sons.....?"

And hearing that question, seeing the slight fear and uncertainty in the younger Oroku's gaze, broke something in Splinter. His heart ached for his son, seeing just how brutal Oroku Saki had truly been to his boy. Seeing the mental scars that his son obtained over the past fifteen years underneath the Shredder's rule. Splinter answered his son's questions, wanting to fix the broken look on his child:

"My son......we do not hate you nor will we banish you from the Hamato clan. You are family and my son, you belong here. No matter what you've done, you will always be welcomed here and loved. It would be hypocritical of me to hold something like this against you when I myself have done the same thing."

And at that moment a look of understanding came onto Leo's face as he realized what Splinter was saying. That just like him, the older mutant had taken lives, had been forced to do awful things throughout his career as a ninja. Leo doesn't understand why it affects him so much, maybe it was knowing that despite his actions that this rat, this supposed real father of his, still loved him and welcomed him into his clan. Perhaps it was the knowledge that just like him, Splinter had done things that he regretted, had done things to protect the ones he loved, and still turned out to be a great man. That maybe there was a chance for Leo to become something more than the Oni, the Shadow of the Foot clan that was whispered about and feared for nearly his entire life. Whatever it was, it made something in Leo twist and bust like a dam inside him. Tears started to sting his eyes and the sight of it made Splinter move from the bed, pulling his son close to him. Leo didn't fight against him, instead surprisingly leaning into the older rat's embrace as he proceeded to fall apart. The father and son didn't move from their position for a long time. So much so that Raph, Donnie and Mikey had come to search for them, stepping onto the scene of their father comforting their newly regained older brother. The three turtles didn't hesitate to step into the room and join them, three pairs of arms encircling Leo and Splinter. It was then that Leo caught wind of what they were saying to him:

'It's okay, we're not angry at you. We love you and we're sorry for getting upset with you. Thank you for protecting us and having our backs.'

And that just sent Leo into a harder breakdown, apologies spilling from him for upsetting them. For showing them something that they shouldn't have seen in the first place. The small family of five didn't move for a long time and as Splinter, Raph, Donnie and Mikey looked at their wayward family member, they realized that there was still so many things that they had to learn. So many things that they had to try and understand if they were ever going to have Leo truly apart of their lives again. All of those things being worth it to endure and learn together in the future. After all, Leonardo Oroku, or rather Leonardo Hamato was well worth the effort.

[boy-with-the-demon-blood]

AND ANOTHER THING

people who bash on 2012 raph need to get some fucking perspective. like. okay so in the middle-end of s2 there’s an interaction that kind of boils down all of raph’s issues into a few sentences.

also this whole analysis is coming from someone who just finished season 2. so if anything changes by the end of the series rip

raph just yelled at casey until he left because he was worried he would get hurt and he doesn’t know how to express his feelings, and then this happened:

mikey: you can’t do that dude! people have feelings! real, squishy feelings!

raph: well i’m not “people”

raph shut down all emotional responses to anything except anger because he was raised in an environment where showing any weakness was basically giving a neon sign inviting ppl to attack. and bc he did this, he’s fallen into the fallacy that everyone else should too, bc it protected him. “why should i have to deal with other people’s feelings? no one ever cares about mine!” is his mindset and it’s. really really damaging. to himself and everyone around him.

at first when i realized this i was like “aw he needs a hug” but no he needs someone to respond to his emotions decently. he needs to be given the benefit of the doubt and that’s really fucking hard when he reacts to vulnerability with anger. if someone tried to approach him with these problems bluntly he’d react by telling them to eat shit and die. like every time leo or splinter brings up raph’s anger issues, he storms out and doesn’t come home for hours. and he still doesn’t apologize or realize that if he wants to resolve his issues, it’s gotta be on him at least a little bit. sure, the others using every bit of vulnerability he shows to pick on him doesn’t help, but that’s just bc they give as good as they get.

he needs a kirishima to his bakugou, or an iroh to his zuko, and he just. doesn’t have one. he’s not as lucky as them and it sucks. and that’s what’s heartbreaking about his character. he’s realistic about his reaction to complex trauma, but he never gets the chance to heal from it. venting to spike was his one healthy coping mechanism and now spike is slash and slash tried to kill him and his brothers.

also splinter doesn’t help anything with his style of “parenting.” he’s like “why is my second son so rebellious and angry? surely not bc i regularly ‘make an example out of him’ and refuse to give actual real advice on how to manage feelings of fear and inferiority. it’s just that something is inherently wrong with him.” he raised the turtles to be ninja. he didn’t raise them like children. his only point of reference for children up until he had the turtles was his experience training other ninja. he raised them like any other ninjutsu master would teach his students. the difference is that those students had parents they went home to. having the person you train with and inevitably get hurt because of be the same person you call “father” is gonna mess up anyone’s head.

anyway all that to say: i project onto 2012 raph like a goddamn movie screen.