#OR EVEN THEIR CRUSHES THAT THEY HAD THE ENTIRETY OF YEAR 11

[astral-from-afar]

Oh yeah you know how I said I’ve forgotten romance exists around me

Yeah two of the people I’ve been hanging around for years have been dating for over 4 months and I just learnt about it today

[persevereforahappyending]

Maybe in Another Life |8|

Pairing: Clarisse La Rue x Hunter of Artemis!Reader

Summary: You are a Hunter of Artemis, but you start to question what you truly want when you meet Clarisse and get to know her.

Warnings: Slight Titans Curse Spoilers

Word Count: 2.2k+

Main Masterlist | Series Masterlist

ch. 1 | ch. 2 | ch. 3 | ch. 4 | ch. 5 | ch. 6 | ch. 7 | ch. 8 | ch. 9 | ch. 10 | ch. 11 | ch. 12 | ch. 13 | ch. 14 | ch. 15 | ch. 16 | ch. 17

You trekked through the woods with your sisters until Artemis decided on a spot to settle for the night. It had been about two months since you left Camp Half-Blood, since you last saw Clarisse, since Zoe died and Thalia joined the Hunters, taking her place as lieutenant. You threw yourself into the Hunt as much as possible, focusing only on what you needed to. It didn’t work, you were still reminded of Zoe’s loss every time you looked up at the night sky. You thought the distance from Clarisse would kill your crush, if you weren’t seeing her every day and spending time with her, you figured your newly developing feelings would be quickly snuffed out and everything would go back to the way it was, you were wrong about that as well.

You should have known grieving Zoe wouldn’t be as quick as the others. Losing a sister was always hard, losing the person who’s been by your side for a thousand years, that pain was indescribable. You took risks during hunts, cutting it close a few times, a lot closer than necessary. All because you took chances Zoe would have never let you take.

Everyone handled grief differently, some moved on quicker, some, like you, were still dealing with the loss just as hard a few months later. Even in a group of Hunters, that traveled together, lived together, and were around each other every day, all grieved differently. A lot of your sisters came together, spending more time together and just appreciating each other more. You were the opposite, distancing yourself as much as possible. You’d still train with them, you could still work flawlessly as a team, but you didn’t talk to them, not really. Thalia was similar to you; she was clearly grieving Zoë as well. She was also still getting used to the whole Hunter thing, she was a natural leader but some of your traditions, you guess could call them that, she was still learning.

You helped your sisters unpack, setting up each of the tents around where the campfire would go. A few of your sisters were already in position around various points of the campsite to keep watch for the night. When everything was unpacked, and your sisters started gathering around the campfire next to Artemis, you made yourself scarce. You caught Thalia’s eye and gave her a nod to let her know you’d be back. She watched you for a second before returning the nod, redirecting her attention back to Artemis who she sat beside. You knew Thalia had questions or thoughts on what you did but she never questioned you, you appreciated that, you didn’t have anything to hide but you didn’t feel like discussing these things with her.

You made your way through the woods, the chatter of your goddess and sisters getting quiet the more distance you put between you and them. You smiled when you came upon the creek you had been anxious to get to. The trees opened up around the creek, revealing the night sky in its entirety. You looked up, your eyes instantly finding Zoe’s constellation. You sighed, before pulling out a gold drachma and your little mirror that helped you make a rainbow almost anytime you wanted.

You said your little prayer to Iris and tossed your gold drachma into the rainbow. It was only a few seconds before Clarisse’s face appeared in the rainbow. “Hey,” you said, smiling.

You and Clarisse had Iris messaged each other every week since you left camp. Usually multiple times a week, there were weeks you talked every day. You could only talk to her when you guys were making camp or taking a break, so communication was more on your front than hers, but she always answered. You always tried to give her a good idea when you’d be able to contact her again or when you knew you’d be out all night and wouldn’t have time. Your talks were a nice break from the day to day of hunting and failing to find what you were looking for; besides, it was just nice to talk to her still.

“Hey,” Clarisse greeted. “How’s the hunt going?”

You let out a tired sigh, despite immortality and all the other perks of being a Hunter, you could still get exhausted. “That good?” Clarisse chuckled.

“Castellan really knows how to hide,” you mumbled. “Not that he deserves the credit, he is having quite a bit of help.”

You didn’t know all the details about what happened on the quest, all you knew was that despite what Percy originally thought, Luke was still alive. When you and the other Hunters caught up with Artemis again, she informed all of you that your new mission would be tracking Luke, anyone working with him, and gathering whatever information you could. Despite the years of experience Luke had the help of Kronos, the monsters, and who knew how many others. Every time you guys got a lead Luke was already gone, days ahead of you.

“We made camp for the night,” you sighed. “It kind of reminds me of your spot.” You looked around at your surroundings, there was a stream under the moonlight, surrounded by trees. You could almost believe you were back at Camp Half-Blood, except for the fact that you were in a different state hundreds of miles away.

“How are things there?” you asked.

“Well, Jackson’s gone, so it’s been nice,” Clarisse stated plainly. You couldn’t help but chuckle at that. “Annabeth and I have been working on something.” A smirk appeared on her face.

“You and Annabeth are friends now?” you raised an eyebrow.

Clarisse was quick to scoff. “Let’s not go that far.”

“Oh, that’s right you don’t have friends,” you said, laughing at your own joke.

Clarisse made sure to flip you off and throw a glare that would intimidate most people through an iris message. Good thing you weren’t most people, and you found her glares harmless, they were actually almost adorable.

“What have you and Annabeth been working on?” You questioned when your laughter died down. If Clarisse was working with Annabeth on something, then it had to be important.

“I can’t tell you,” Clarisse said, giving you an apologetic look. You tilted your head at that, there wasn’t much Clarisse would keep secret from you unless it was absolutely important. “But I’ll be going on a secret mission in a few days so I might be unavailable.”

That made your heart drop and not just because you might not be able to talk with Clarisse. That uneasy feeling you got when Zoe was given her last quest came over you. It wasn’t as strong or as dire as the one with Zoe, but a little red warning light was going off in your head. You weren’t sure why, demigods went on quests all the time and Clarisse was more than capable, maybe you were reading too much into it because of your feelings for the daughter of Ares.

You had expected your feelings for the Ares girl to disappear after getting away from her, but it seemed with each passing day you only fell deeper. Every conversation, every new thing you learned about her, made you like her even more. There weren’t many people you could talk to for hours, but she was one, you didn’t even have to talk, even during an iris message the two of you could sit in silence and be comfortable.

“Who’s going with you on your quest?” You questioned. “Annabeth? That what the two of you are working on?”

“Actually…” she started. You scrunched your eyebrow when you saw Clarisse avoiding eye contact, which she never did. “It’s not an official quest.”

That sent a shiver down your spine, making you stand straighter. The only time campers left camp was when they were part timers and were going home for the school year or when they were going on a quest. Chiron never let campers wander out otherwise, it was much too dangerous for a demigod.

“What?” Your voice sounded hollow as you asked, already knowing you wouldn’t like whatever she said next.

“It’s a scouting mission,” Clarisse said. “Chiron asked for me specifically.” She gave you an apologetic smile, she clearly knew the risk of this mission but even through the iris message you could see the pride in her eyes.

“And Annabeth’s going with you?” you knew you were grasping for straws, but you had to hold onto the little bit of hope you had.

“No,” Clarisse admitted, straightening her back. “This is a solo mission.”

You looked to the ground, nodding your head. “Not going to wish me luck?” Clarisse joked, giving you her usual arrogant smile.

You couldn’t help but smile, lightly chuckling. “Luck is for losers,” you said. “Just…” you sighed, looking up at the sky, your smile sure didn’t last long. “Stay alive.” You looked Clarisse right in the eyes. You knew you shouldn’t ask that.

“I promise.” You knew she shouldn’t promise that.

Demigods should never promise to stay alive; it was nearly an impossible task. Demigods were created to go on quests, to run errands for the gods, to fight their wars, and to die in their name. If Chiron was sending a camper on a mission, that couldn’t even be classified as an official quest, alone, you knew it must be of the utmost importance. You didn’t know Annabeth very well, just that you liked her more than Percy and Thalia. You also knew she was smart and if she was involved in helping set up the scouting mission then you had to assume the mission wasn’t meant to be dangerous. Not that that mattered, every mission and quest for a demigod was dangerous, just walking down the street could be the death of them.

“How’s the princess doing?” Clarisse asked, breaking you out of your thoughts.

You chuckled, Clarisse had taken to calling Thalia princess and you couldn’t deny that there were certainly times she acted like a princess, though she also commanded like one as well. “I mean…” you started, glancing behind you when you heard branches breaking. “She’s capable but it’s not like she’s the best lieutenant we’ve ever had.”

“Rude,” Thalia said, walking up behind you but staying far enough back that she didn’t overstep into your and Clarisse’s conversation.

You couldn’t help but scoff. “You think you actually compare to Zoe?” you glanced back at her, raising an eyebrow.

Thalia rolled her eyes but raised her hands. “I have no notions of competing with Zoe.” You gave her a sad smile. You respected that though she might have taken over Zoe’s position, she was clearly not trying to replace Zoe, she understood you were all still grieving her. “Artemis wants you back.”

You nodded, watching as Zoe stepped further back, out of earshot of you and Clarisse. “Duty calls,” you said, looking back at Clarisse.

Clarisse nodded. “I shouldn’t be leaving on my mission for a few days, talk before then?”

“Of course,” you smiled as you both ended the call.

You sighed, you were going to talk to her at least one more time before her solo mission, hopefully. You were sure you’d be anxious until you got a call from her telling you she was back from the mission. You would happily listen to her recount the tales of her mission, exaggerating how heroic she was in whatever she was meant to be doing, you would listen to her for hours if it meant she returned alive.

“You two seem to have gotten close,” Thalia commented as the two of you made your way back to the campsite.

“We’re friends,” you mumbled, shrugging off the nerves you got at someone else noticing how much you seemed to care for Clarisse.

“Annabeth’s my best friend and even I don’t talk to her that much,” she mumbled.

“What are you implying?” you spun around, pulling her back by the arm.

You kept your gaze firm as you glared at her. You hadn’t broken your oath, but you weren’t sure you could deny your evolving feelings for the daughter of Ares if someone directly asked about them. You swallowed as you saw Thalia’s eyes scan over your face, widening slightly, the only reason you noticed was because you were inches from her.

“Nothing,” Thalia said, shaking her head. You frowned when she took a step back from you, Thalia never backed down and it was clear she had something to say. She pushed past you to walk back up the hill. “There’s nothing wrong with your friendship with Clarisse,” she turned her head just enough to barely glance back at you.

You watched her walk back up the hill. You couldn’t help but feel like there was a second meaning to Thalia’s words. You shook off the tense encounter before following her up the hill. The fire with all your sisters gathered around quickly came into view. Thalia took her seat at Artemis’s side. You took your place on the other side of Artemis, this was where you belonged, you needed to focus on the current objective and not worry about Clarisse. Who knew, maybe no contact for however long her mission took would do you some good, maybe your little crush on her would finally die.

Taglist: @cxcilla @touchmyfracturedomens @luclue @manu-007s-world

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Random BL Superlatives: 2023

Well @lurkingshan did it, so I must do it. So here are some random, WKA themed superlatives for the 2023 BL selection.

Best Hands: Mhok and Day, Last Twilight

gif by @singularities

Listen. I know. I KNOW. There are so many incredible options, and I have written at length about a number of them. I mean come on, La Pluie is right there, I Feel You Linger in the Air is right there, Sing My Crush, Moonlight Chicken etc. etc. etc. But

But, Last Twilight came in with the steel chair right at the end of the year here with that FUCKING HANDSING SCENE. Can you blame me? The handsing scene is shrimply too powerful.

Best Lighting: Playboyy

You know, it's funny cause I don't usually end up writing about lighting in shows, despite the fact that lighting design is absolutely one of my favorite things in film, stage, and television. Chains of Heart has really interesting lighting too, but Playboyy is an objectively better show, and it is doing some absolutely gorgeous lighting design.

Best Sex Scene: Olive Oil, I Feel You Linger in the Air

gif by @pharawee

THE OLIVE OIL SCENE, WHY ARE THERE NO GIFSETS OF THE OLIVE OIL SCENE? WHY IS TUMBLR SUCH A FUCKING HATER???? They didn't even fuck in that scene, but holy mother of GOD it was the best thing I've seen all year. I Feel You Linger in the Air has some of the most inventive and beautiful intimate moments, and spreading the olive oil as a stand in for arousal and masturbation was absolutely goddamn brilliant.

Best Faen (Non)Fatale: Porjai, Last Twilight

gif from @khaopybara

I know Last Twilight hasn't finished yet and will take us in to 2024, but Porjai and Mohk's relationship is absolutely my favorite lovers to friends dynamic I have seen this year. I was showering praise upon them all for this in the tags of a reblog today, so I have to give it to them. Massive shout out and extremely close call to Nara from La Pluie.

Best Emotional Roller Coaster: What Did You Eat Yesterday? Season 2

Ok there were quite a lot of shows that I think would have applied here, but man oh man this entire season has just run me through the wringer with how much Shiro has grown over the course of the last two seasons. Episode 11 had me laughing my ass off, and then absolutely sobbing by the end. So it's going to Kinou Nani Tabeta?

The Shirt I Want to Steal Most from Wardrobe: Blue and White Button Up, The Sign

gif from @ohshinytrinketsmine

I know this will be contentious when the Fart Proudly shirt is right there, but I really loved the blue and white button up shirt that Phaya wore I do not know what is in the water at IdolFactory, but they have hands down some of the best shirts I have ever seen. When I watched Secret Crush on You I wanted the entirety of Sky's wardrobe, now I am having shirt envy for this sexy little blue-with-white-lines-that-are-vaguely-rabbit-shaped (wka do not write a post about rabbits, do not write a post about rabbits-) button up.

The Character Who Most Changed my Opinion of Them: Phupa, OS2 x BBS x ATOTS

gif by @alexshenry (double PhupaPat whammy for @waitmyturtles)

Okay, so to tell you the truth, I made new superlatives cause if I took the superlatives from @lurkingshan's post it would have been at least half the same if not more (because as always, Shan is right about everything). But, I will put an overlap here because I absolutely could not let this year go by without applauding Aof, Earth, and Phupa for really putting in the work to help me understand this man better.

The Show That Most Surprised Me: Wedding Plan by MAME

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

Okay not only was this show that I absolutely was not planning to watch or initially interested in actually one of the best of the year, but it was also a MAME show. And a lot of us have our critiques of MAME's writing, but this was so outside of her typical MO that I am shocked it came from the same writer. Love Sailom, love a Lavender Wedding, love Nuea, love it all.

The Trope This Year That Most Accounted for the Fact These Are Gay MEN: Boxing! Sing My Crush, Wedding Plan, The Sign

Sing My Crush did this the absolute best, but I really genuinely loved that multiple shows this year let men fight in controlled settings to get out some of their frustration and to process their feelings. Han Ba Ram crying in the gym? One of my favorite scenes of the entire year.

And yeah sure, Phaya and Tharn are fighting for the intricate rituals that allow men to touch the skin of men, we get the horny vibes, but fundamentally this fight does occur because Tharn is angsty and ignoring Phaya and that cannot stand. I like seeing Phaya sparring with the punching bag at the end of the most recent episode as well because he's fucking furious about Tharn telling the doctor about his dreams. I love it, I love it so much.

[nekohime19]

Heart behind the lie # 11 : tiring night

Wukong got a pretty bad nightmare, but Mac is here.

TW : blood and injuries + depressive thoughts

It wasn't the first time Sun Wukong dreamt of this. His nights were a realm of pain, fictional places where all his fears surged in to torment his helpless self. He didn't know if his nightmares were something his own mind created as a form of torture, a repentance for all the blood he drew, or if they were a curse casted by the souls he mercilessly hurts. A part of him was glad to suffer, pain was the most effective drug to drown guilt, another was ashamed to ever have such weakness. 

This particular nightmare was recurrent, and by far the worst of all, not because it inspired fear, but because it crushed his suffering heart without any mercy. It was the worst because, unlike any other, it wasn't fictional, it wasn't a made-up twisted story created by his subconscious, it was real, it was a memory. 

A memory that haunted him, reminded him of what he was, of what his heart was made of. 

The dream always began with the same scene, like the old tale of “Once upon time”, except his dream didn't begin with a faraway castle and a well-loved family, but with a golden monkey overwhelmed by his own feelings, sitting on a cliff as he wondered where it all went wrong. 

Sun Wukong was looking at the endless blue, legs dangling in the void, shoulders crushed by his own guilt. Tripitaka chased him out, fed up with his violent ways, not trusting his pleas even if he was right. It hurted to not be heard, to be disregarded with ease, as if his words meant nothing, as if his mouth could never utter a single truth. He wondered sometimes if his master saw him as anything other than a beast needing discipline, he wondered if he could be something else, someone worthy of being heard. 

Was this how his moon felt when he ignored his warnings ? Sun Wukong never thought not being heard could be this painful, he almost felt sorry for his beloved friend, but then he remembered their fight, under the mountain, and any trace of guilt faded away. 

Sun Wukong loved Liu'er Mihou with all his soul, but the once pure hearted feeling was now twisted with hatred, the lightness of it replaced by anger, and longing. Yes, perhaps Sun Wukong shouldn't have screamed, he shouldn't have been so spiteful, especially since Mihou had been the only one caring enough to visit him under the mountain (some brothers he had). The sage had been at fault for a lot of things, and Mihou's anger was justified, to a certain extent. But Sun Wukong never thought that one measles fight would shatter their bond. 

He thought their relationship to be eternal, like the sun chased after the moon above heaven. Sun Wukong loved him like he never loved before, he loved him as if he was part of his own soul, and even if he never shared this feeling, too scared to confess, he at least thought that Mihou was fond of him. 

So when his dear Mihou never once came back after their fight, leaving him to rot for hundreds of years, wallowing in misery under his prison, he began to hate him. And it hurts, to hate the one he loved, but he couldn't control his own heart, and let the feeling fester inside of him, engulfing his heart until the entirety of his love began to be tainted by poison. 

It was easy to resent another when you spent years trapped and tortured. People always said that love and hate were two sides of the same coin, and Sun Wukong couldn't help but agree after living with a heart longing for his best friend, but loathing him at the same time. 

Everything was wrong. 

His best friend was out there, probably loathing him for eternity. The majority of his home was burned by heaven's fire, most of his monkeys lost to the flames. And his journey, the quest supposed to quell his guilt and make him better, was out of his reach. 

Was he doomed to feel like this for the rest of his pitiful life? To feel so hollow, unworthy of even breathing. He was a bad friend, a bad King, a bad pilgrim, mayhaps he was simply a bad person, someone unable to attain goodness. 

He wished for something, any feeling truly, to burn him so he could escape the emptiness that drowned him. He would gladly dive into any feelings to avoid this misery, either it be joy or pain. 

Heaven decided to grace him mercy, once again pitying his somber existence. Sha Wujing came, at first accusing him of hurting their master, before pleading (once he realized Sun Wukong couldn't be the one hurting Tripitaka ) for his help. The sage would normally be elated to help, seizing the chance to regain his rightful place, but the void in his chest didn't let him be pleased, preventing him from tasting joy. 

Sun Wukong was at the edge of something, he didn't know what it was, either madness or wildness, but he knew he would soon be consumed. It was always like this, his feelings bottled up inside of his chest until they blew up, and he was consumed in painful flames, blind to everything. 

The sage followed his brother with false enthusiasm, the golden lie so familiar he wore it naturally, as if it was really his skin. 

Everything came to a halt when he saw who, exactly, was the threat. Someone was wearing his skin, leaning over his master with a twisted smile, claws coated in blood. Sun Wukong wondered if his deepest desires, the ones wanting to lash at the monk for ever hurting him, took form to finally quench the hatred raging in his bones. 

The sage used his golden eyes, and his heart stopped living when he saw the truth hidden behind well-crafted illusions. Mihou was standing before him, wearing his face to hurt his master, sulling his name even more. Sun Wukong felt something break inside of him, perhaps he had hoped that his oldest friend would one day come back and explain why he abandoned him. Why he left him to burn alone under the mountain even when he knew that the sage feared loneliness, something Sun Wukong never confessed to anyone but him. 

But life was cruel, and the hatred Mihou harbored for him was seemingly deeper than he had thought if the other was willing to go this far to hurt him. 

Sun Wukong roared, and pounced on the man he loved, pushing him away from his bleeding master. Mihou rolled in the dirt, his illusions shattering when he caught sight of the sage. 

"Why are you here?" Spat the sage, holding firmly to his last shred of reason, not willing to be consumed yet. 

"I'm saving you, you idiot! Now let me pass and finish what I started!" 

"You're not making any sense, Mihou. I don't need saving." Replied the King. "Besides I thought you didn't want to be near obsessive demons."

"You're still hung up on that?" Sun Wukong gritted his teeth, how could the other brush aside their fight like it was nothing was maddening, especially since it led to his moon abandoning him. 

"I will not repeat myself, leave or I will fight you."

"Stop joking, Sun Wukong. They're hurting you!"

"They are disciplining me."

"Don't lie to me! I saw it all, how they don't trust you, how they don't listen, how they use this wretched crown to bound you. Stop fooling yourself, they don't care about you." The sage's heart stuttered, his deepest fear being thrown at his face without mercy. 

"And what, you're supposed to care about me !? Don't make me laugh!"

"Take that back! After all I did for you you dare to-"

"All you did for me!? And what exactly did you do!? Leaving me to rot for centuries, abandoning me like a coward! Peng was right about you, and I was stupid to ever lo- care about you!"

"This… you don't think that." Mumbled the macaque, face shattered by horror. "You're just angry."

"I will say this once, Liu'er Mihou. I am not forced on this journey, I am doing it willingly, because I want to change. I want to be better. Leave me alone, coward, I don't need you."

Liu'er Mihou pounced on him with a shrill cry, his lovely face twisted by fury. Sun Wukong fighted him back, losing himself in the madness consuming him. The fight was a blur of blood and cries, of tears and roars, Sun Wukong didn't even know what he was doing, everything seemed to fade away, only leaving him and the man before him. He wanted to make this feeling disappear. He wanted to feel better, to feel cared for, was it impossible for anyone to love him ? He fought with no thoughts, letting his instincts reign over his body, mind drowned by insanity. 

He distantly heard his master mumble the tightening spell, perhaps he was causing too much mayhem in his fury. The circlet crushed his head, but he didn't stop, pushing through the pain that blinded him. He wanted to destroy everything, then maybe the world itself would hurt like he did, then maybe those feelings would fade away.

Sun Wukong pinned Mihou to the ground, hovering above him with bared fangs. He lifted his staff, mind burned by the need to win, the need to survive, the need to feel worthy. 

"I love you."

Everything stopped. As the staff descended upon his moon, he felt his madness disappear, pierced by one simple whisper. He wondered if he heard wrong in his frenzy, if his sick mind distorted the words. But Mihou looked sincere, gazing at him with pleading eyes. Sun Wukong felt his grip on his staff loosen, because even if some part of him resented Mihou, most of him still loved him. 

But then the crown tightened, pain seized him and pushed purely by instinct, by the need to make it stop, he struck down. Sun Wukong cried and held his head, burying himself in the heaving chest of his moon, staff still firmly clutched in his palm. The crown finally stopped to crush him, and he looked up, relieved. 

He was faced by the horrified face of his moon, the staff piercing his eye, crushing one side of his lovely face. Sun Wukong threw away the staff as if it burned him, he looked at his friend with a hammering heart, hands trembling. 

What did he do ? He never… he was angry, but he never wanted to… 

"Looks like I won, coward." Spat the sage with a heaving breath, not wanting to believe what he was seeing. "What? You're not going to reply?"

Sun Wukong waited for his moon to spat something back, anything, but silence was the only thing that graced him. 

"Come on, Mihou. You're not going to let me win so easily, right?" Chuckled the sage with a wavering voice. He put his hands on the macaque shoulders and shook him. "You… you want to scare me, that's it? That's low even for you, come on, I'm not even falling for it." But his dear friend remained still, face veiled by the last emotion he felt : betrayal. "That's not funny, Mihou. Wake up already!" 

Sun Wukong took the warrior's collar and shook him more frantically, not caring about how mad he must seem to the other pilgrims. 

"Stop that ! Answer me! Mihou! Come on, you… you won alright. Please just, stop that." Mumbled the King, he began to lower his friend, and pressed his face on his chest, breath struggling when he didn't hear his heart beating. "Please, Mihou. Answer me… I-I'll come back, I'll ditch the journey, just please, stop that." His friend didn't reply, and Sun Wukong cried. "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Come on, Mihou, you're stronger than this! Please, please, j-just, wake up, please, Mihou, I-I can't…" The sage gathered the bloodied warrior in his arms, trying to keep him close, as if his arms could keep death at bay. "Come on, Mihou. Please. I-I… I love you too. I never told you. I thought you hated me after our fight, I thought you abandoned me because you wanted nothing to do with me. Come on, you can't leave me like that after confessing. Come on, Mihou, wake up. I love you, I love you so much, come on."

"Please, don't leave me alone, I love you."

Sun Wukong woke up with a stuttering heart, he looked around, panicked, and latched on to the warrior sleeping at his side, burying his face in soft ebony locks. His breath was ragged, his mind unfocused, everything around him was painful. Each time he dared to close his eyes he saw the battered corpse of his warrior, he saw blood dripping from his claws, his hands spoiled with the worst sin of all, the death of his friend. 

He remembered the years of guilt he endured after his journey, the years of avoiding the moon at night as if it was the deadliest of poison. He could still hear his master's words, how he talked about fate, “you did good Sun Wukong”, as if what he did was right. He remembered how he pushed his sorrow away until it couldn't bother him anymore, walking as if he didn't kill himself with each breath he took. 

He remembered how, sometimes, he hated his moon for tormenting him, for making him live through this pain. Sometimes he would let hatred poison his heart, painting his old friend in a horrible light simply to lessen the guilt eating at him. Piling lies upon lies to explain his sin, searching for the one responsible, the one at fault. He couldn't hate his master while on the journey if he wanted to remain sane, and hating himself led to thoughts so somber he didn't even dare to utter them. So he hated his moon. He kept doing this for years on end, until he was freed from the journey, but even then the habit was so imbued in him, he couldn't stop. Because hatred was easier to live with than guilt. And he scorned himself for daring to think that even for a moment. For daring to think that Mihou would want this, would want to tear his heart with the memory of his death. In the end, he didn't dare think about his old friend at all, avoiding every thought, every feeling like the plague. Memory of kinder days locked away in the confine of his mind, disgusted with himself each time his cowardice pushed him to hate rather than to wallow in guilt. 

"Hey, you’re okay?" Mumbled the warrior, voice quite rough around the edges, still tainted by slumber. Sun Wukong didn't dare to reply, only latching closer, wanting to feel the life hum inside of the ebony monkey. Macaque turned towards him and pulled him closer, arms kindly encircling him, like the dew veiled the earth at dawn. Sun Wukong was tucked under the warrior's chin, pulled together by light touches and the ghost of a purr. 

The sage breathed in, inhaling the scent of the other, losing himself in the feel of his arms. The vision of his dream disappeared, chased by the strong humming heart of the warrior. Sun Wukong looked up, gazing at the tired face of his moon, at the way his eyes shined with fondness, and he cried. 

It would be so much easier if he could truly loathe this man. But even while poisoned or drowned, torn and twisted, his love substituted, and every lie he ever told himself about this man crumbled each time he saw the truth, the kind heart behind it. 

"Rough night, hm." Whispered the warrior, he wiped away his tears and Sun Wukong leaned in the touch as if it could heal everything that was ever wrong with him. "You think you can fall asleep again ?" Sun Wukong shook his head, not wanting to relive his nightmare. "Yeah, me neither, wasn't exactly a kind night." The sage looked at the warrior, he noticed the way his pupils shook, the way his hold was still and oafish, as if his body was made of wood. It wasn't the first time Macaque was like this, he was becoming more and more weak as the days passed, and the sage was beginning to worry. But the warrior asked for nothing, even if he threw two or three longing gazes his way. Sun Wukong dived further into his arms, awkwardly patting his back, offering a weak excuse of comfort. "Hm, you wanna take a breather outside ?" The golden monkey clinged harder, not wanting to part even for a moment, even for walking outside. "Okay, let's stay here for a bit then."

Macaque pulled the sage on his chest, and Sun Wukong curled on himself, his tail tightening on the warrior's hips. They laid here for hours, the warrior petting him softly, fingers flowing in golden locks, twirling them abstently around his claws. Macaque took a peach lingering on the table beside the couch, he cut some slices for the sage and nibbled on the rest. Sun Wukong weakly ate his slices, the sweetness of the stone fruit appeasing his sore throat. It was quite embarrassing to be handed slices, but he was too tired by his own feelings to care. 

He felt guilty, at times, for using his warrior's kindness. For he knew Macaque wouldn't do this sort of thing if he knew the truth. But he couldn't stop. It has been a week. And each day he told himself he would reveal the truth, each day he pushed the talk away. But he couldn't help himself, each soft touch, each light moment soothed something inside or him. For once he wasn't crushed by guilt or hatred, for once his love wasn't tainted by another feeling. He became addicted to his warrior's laugh, to the way he patted him, the way he cared in an odd way. Each day he discovered a new side of the macaque, something that wasn't there in kinder days, and it was enthralling. 

It had been a long time since anyone cared about him that way, especially someone he, himself, loved so dearly. And he couldn't help but latch on the feeling, even if he knew it was wrong. 

"Why are those brats awake this late again ?" Grumbled the warrior, Sun Wukong looked up and chuckled when he caught sight of the macaque's pinched face. He was on his phone, the bluish light softly illuminating his face, the sage wiggled his way upward, popping under the macaque's chin to gaze at the phone. "Hey yo- you're curious about my phone now?" Snorted the warrior, the sage chirped excitedly. 

The sage read their chat, hiding his snorts at how everyone was dubbed in the group chat. 

The chaos child : you know, you're scolding us for being awake late, but you're the same emo boy, y are you awake, huh 🤨? 

Everyone's favorite : ooooooooo, she got you there! :3

Mama Mac : I'm an adult, not the same. 

Everyone's favorite : I'm an adult in the eyes of society. 

Mama Mac : you're under a century, you're a baby. 

Everyone's favorite : not fair! I'm not a demon! 

The chaos child : don't worry monkie bestie, Macaque is just an old man. 

Mama Mac : Hey! I'm in my prime! 

The chaos child : don't lie to yourself, you have the habits of an old man. 

Mama Mac : I do not! 

Everyone's favorite : nah, it's true. When you type you use one finger. You know we're using no slang because we know you wouldn't understand, that's a true old man move. 

Mama Mac : I'm not used to the phone!! 

Everyone's favorite : lol, “the phone”, he said. 

The chaos child : you whine about your back every time. 

Mama Mac : try sleeping on a couch with a stone monkey on top of you! 

The chaos child : on top of you, huh~, that's sus 😏

Mama Mac : don't even begin! 

Everyone's favorite : oooooh, the gays monkeys are gaying :3

Mama Mac : when will you drop this? 

The chaos child : never! You're his hubby! 

Everyone's favorite : shadowpeach for life <3

Mama Mac : what even is this, shadowpeach ? I'm not his husband, I'm just taking care of him. 

The chaos child : “taking care of him” he said, as if it wasn't gay. 

Everyone's favorite : I know right ? That's so gay. 

The chaos child : you caaaaaare about him! 

Everyone's favorite : you looooooove him! 

The chaos child : Macaque and Sun Wukong sitting in a tree. 

Everyone's child : K.I.S.S.I.N.G

Mama Mac : I don't even want to know what this is. 

The chaos child : he doesn't have the reference, 🙃. 

Everyone's child : old man through and through. 

The chaos child : true. How's the King? 

Mama Mac : I'm young for a demon. Wukong's alright, we had a rough night. 

The chaos child : aw that's suck. 

Everyone's favorite : you alright? You're cuddling I hope. 

Mama Mac : yeah

The chaos child : yeah you're alright, or yeah you're cuddling with the King? 

Mama Mac : both 

Everyone’ s favorite : Aw <3

The chaos child : picture! Picture! Give me!!! 

"Those brats I swear." Chuckled the macaque, he put the phone upwards, resting his chin atop of the sage's head to take a picture. But the fool forgot he let the flash on, so they both hissed like angry cats. The picture sent itself in the group chat, and the two kids went wild. Sun Wukong snorted discreetly at their overthetop reactions. 

Everyone's favorite : omg, two angry cats! <3<3<3<3

The chaos child : in the blackmail file!!!! That's so cute ❤️❤️❤️

Everyone's favorite : in the shadowpeach file!!! 

Mama Mac : what's shadowpeach? 

The chaos child : it's your ship name with Mr King! 

Mama Mac : I don't have a ship, I get seasick, and Wukong doesn't know how to swim, he sinks. 

The chaos child : you sweet summer child

Everyone's favorite : I can't, this is hilarious Mei. 

Mama Mac : I don't understand 

The chaos child : don't worry. 

Everyone's favorite : you'll understand one day. 

Mama Mac : you're both weird

The chaos child : and proud to be! 

"You never told me we had a ship." Mumbled the warrior with a raised eyebrow. Sun Wukong let out a confused chirp because he knew nothing about a ship. "Yeah, maybe those kids are just weird." Snorted the macaque as he unconsciously nuzzled the sage, Sun Wukong nuzzled back eagerly, tail widely wagging. 

This was nice, he wanted it to last. 

Ch1 / Previous / Next

[masnmountz]

falling for you - pedri gonzalez

SUMMARY - the world cup has just begun, and tensions are high, but so is the excitement.

PAIRING - pedri gonzalez x fem!reader

SONG INSPO - n/a

WARNINGS - none

WORD COUNT - 1.7k

NOTE - hi! this is my first fic on here! i hope you enjoy reading this!

you and pedri had been good friends for a while, and your families had been close for as long as you could remember.

so when pedri invited your family to watch him at the world cup with his own family, you were of course excited, but not shocked.

the date had started to get closer and you were getting more excited by the day.

in celebration you had pedri over for a casual dinner and movie, something the two of you had done for years, even in your schooling days.

the doorbell rang just as you had finished putting in the pizza order. you opened it to find a very smiley pedri. he was wearing a plain black t-shirt paired with red and black flannel pajama pants.

"hey, so when are we ordering food? i'm starving?"

his statement makes you giggle. pedri standing there and awkwardly chuckles, but he is being 100% serious.

"i already ordered it, it should get here in like 10 minutes".

the two of you make your way to your living room and takes your places on the couch. you start browsing movies, and everything you say you think looks good, pedri shoots down before requesting his movie ideas. as you bicker about what to watch, the doorbell rings, which sends pedri running towards the door. he greets the delivery man, grabbing the pizza box as if his life depends on it. he closes the door and immediately opens the box, grabbing a slice from it and taking a bite.

"PEDRI! PLATE!" you yell like a mother.

the two always had this type of relationship, you being the mature and logical one, and pedri being childish and careless, although as a person, he was very caring.

you both agree on the first harry potter, which you had seen maybe 50 times, but it's not like you didn't want to see it 51 times.

the movie soon came to an end, both you and pedri tired and full.

"so i'll see you in qatar then?"

"yup! and in case i don't see before your first match, good luck"

-

you had finally arrived in qatar, you were met with the most beautiful hotel. after a long flight all you wanted to do was take a nice long rest in your hotel bed, which is of course what you did. this was like a vacation, and you were going to take advantage of the entirety of the trip. spain's first match wasn't until tomorrow, so you had the whole day to do whatever.

qatar was definitely one of the most amazing places you had ever visited, the weather was amazing and the country just had such amazing natural beauty.

you didn't get back to your hotel room until around 12 in the morning, which wasn't crazy late, but considering kickoff was at 11 in the morning, getting back this late definitely wasn't ideal.

-

you woke up the next morning at around 8, still enough time to get ready and get to the stadium.

you were of course wearing pedri's name on your back to show your support. you go to the stadium with his family and yours around 10 AM. the atmosphere was incredible. you had been to a number of pedri's games, but never once did the energy in the stadium feel as amazing as it did right now.

a good number of people had already gotten there, and you watched as the fans from all over the world joined together in the different sections of the stadium to support their country.

you, your family, and pedri's family were all sitting pretty close to the pitch and spain's bench area. it was right next to the tunnel as well, so you would see all the player walk out before the game.

the game had only just started, and you already had a strong feeling of who would win, and you weren't just saying that because it was your own country. costa rica was going to get crushed, and at the 11th minute, dani olmo scored spains first goal.

the game ends with spain beating costa rica 7-0.

you knew spain would win, but 7-0 is stil an impressive score.

the crowd was cheering, no spanish fan leaving yet. the energy was to amazing. you were smiling wider than ever, and just taking in this victory. you catch the eyes of a certain brunette boy and give him a bright smile. he shly smirks, looking down at his feet before looking back up at you, giving a dorky thumbs up.

something about that small gesture made you blush.

-

you were waiting in a "private" area near the locker rooms where family and friends were allowed to be in, waiting for the players. you were waiting there anxiously for pedri to come out, and the second he did walk out you immediately smiled.

the first person pedri noticed was you. he couldn't hold back a smile, and walked over and gave you a hug. the hug was warm, comforting, and you were melting into it.

you were brought back to a cold reality as pedri loosened his embrace. he was looking straight into your eyes before you gave him another, quick, but warm hug.

"you did amazing, pedro"

pedri went to talk with family and absorb the praise, but what just happened between you and him didn't leave his mind.

pedro

a name you never really called him, not since you were little at least. it was a name you only called him in heartfelt moments.

your family and pedri's decided to go out for a late lunch to celebrate the victory. although pedri's mother practically begged him to rest, he insisted on going.

the restaurant was small and cozy, and you had gotten outdoor seating, which was even better. you took a seat near the middle of the table, and pedri sat right next to you. you gave him a shy, but warm smile, in which he returned.

"hi"

"hi"

you ordered a caesar salad and pasta with meat sauce. it was a sort of comfort food, and it was possibly the best pasta and meat sauce you had ever eaten. pedri turned to look at you, and once you noticed him, his eyes light up a little.

"could i try a bite of your pasta, it looks really good" he asked shyly. it was normal for you and him to try each others food. the two of you had done this for years.

"yeah of course!"

small moments like this have seemed to last forever recently. any small exchange you two had seemed like an eternity.

"excuse me, i need to use the restroom"

you placed your napkin on the table, grabbed your phone, and got up. inside the restaurant was louder, especially since there was a bar. it was a nice, homey feeling, and you couldn't help but smile. places like these were some of your favorite. comforting restaurants with an amazing atmosphere is so much better than an elegant, fancy restaurant with a bland, cold, vibe to it, in your opinion.

as you walked out of the bathroom door you are met with a brunette boy standing in front of you. you look up to see a familiar boy looking into your eyes with a smirk planted on his face.

"pedri, you scared me" you laugh out.

"can we talk?"

the question caught you off guard. you just come out of the bathroom, pedri is standing there waiting for you, and he asks to talk. he wasn't usually like this, being all weird and slightly spontaneous.

"yeah, sure"

he puts his hand on the back of your back to guide you to outdoor seating in the back. it was more private and there wasn't anyone out here. there was a little garden and a patio. it was peaceful, but you could still hear the music from inside.

it was silent between the two of you as you walked around the back patio. you went over to look at the garden. it was small, but had to most beautiful flowers.

"y/n..."

the sound of pedri's voice causes you to look back at him. he seemed nervous, but you could tell he was trying his best to hide it.

"y/n, i have something to tell you. i've felt this way for a long time, and i just can't keep it a secret anyone. y/n, i love you"

his words caught you off guard. you had definitely felt a shift in your relationship with him, especially within the last few days, but hearing those words come out of his mouth still shocked you. you were almost at a loss for words.

"pedri, i-"

he cut you off.

"i know this might change our relationship, but i know i would regret not telling you. i can't loose you, y/n. i understand you may not feel the same way, but please, please don't close doors on me"

you ow had no words. you were truly, and utterly stumped. pedri had been choking up, and you could tell he was desperate, not for your love, although he did want that, but he was desperate not to loose you completely.

"oh pedri" is all you could get you. you go over to him and cup his face.

"i love you too"

his mind was racing. he was not expecting you to say that.

next thing he knew, your lips were on his. the kiss was passionate, full of admiration and warmth. on of your hands fell from his face to his chest, while his hands snaked around your waist.

pedri deepened the kiss, which earned a slight moan out of you, causing pedri to smirk. the two of you broke the kiss, trying to catch your breath.

you just looked at each other with smiles plastered on both of your faces. pedri leaned his forehead to rest against yours, pulling you closer into his embrace.

"shall we get back to lunch?" he asks. you chuckled and nodded. the two of you separated and walked back inside. you were trying so desperately to hide your big smile so no one would suspect anything. you wanted to keep your moment with pedri a secret, at least for now.

[choicesmc]

pls tell me how sawtooth got each and every one of their scars

with much pleasure <3

HEAD

one across the edge of their left eye shaving incident. Was trying to sculpt their eyebrows and ended up cutting himself instead D: 

another across his nose from a knife fight. 

a short one behind his ear to the base of their head fight w/a teacher. He grabbed them by their ear and the nails cut into their skin. 

TORSO 

Wraps around from lower back (think lumbar vertebrae section) and stops just beneath his tummy (<- also known as the laceration that made sawtooth thankful they got a tetanus shot <3)

parkour injury. Turns out doing parkour in rickety buildings during twilight/night because you wanted to show off some body paint isn’t actually a good idea. Though, everything was good one their way up said rickety building. But on their way across, did a roll and ended up with a screw (wood screw size 11) one of these bad boys vv 

But then they attempted to curl in on themself on instinct (<- bad idea) and ended up dragging the screw through his skin 😬 

anyway, that didn’t stop them from finishing the course before going to the hospital so :D solid 6/10 for an injury

ARMS + HANDS 

Not a scar but has sprained their left wrist D: also a parkour injury. But this one was when he was still new and was training in a gym, kept blowing off proper form and all that so their instructor wasn’t all that surprised when they finally sprained it…  

Crush injury on two of his right fingers (pinkie + ring) from having a heavy door slammed on them

another fight with a teacher. When they were ~12/13, their gym teacher refused to let him get this water bottle after a run. All students are supposed to bring their water bottles with them because no student is allowed in the changing rooms unless its the first 10 minutes or last 10 minutes of class (<- designated changing times for students). But Sawtooth forgot theirs in their locker and decides ‘fuck it, you’re not gonna stop me from drinking water’ This is post- ‘bit classmate in his last middle school and got expelled for it’ incident (yes, yes, ill find a shorter name for it) and so his gym teacher is fully ready to stand her ground and shuts Sawtooth inside the locker room

Obviously, Sawtooth is not gonna just let that happen. Their tiny middle school self is trying to pry open these large metal doors while their gym teacher is pulling them back closed. Sawtooth manages to create a small opening and tries to grab onto the side of the door for a better grip… which lets the gym teacher get the upper hand and… well. Fingers in the wrong spot at the wrong time. Sawtooth gives a glass-shattering shriek and 911 is immediately called. 

LEGS + FEET 

Large healed over serious abrasion on their left knee (covers the entirety of their knee)

from his elementary school. Basically: their elementary school had an entire section (where the 7/8 - 8/9 year olds had their classes) of the building which is made of temporary buildings (<- called t-buildings for short). They look like this vv 

But the t-buildings are honestly just a permanent part of the school even though they absolutely were never meant to stay around this long. Anyway, notice how the ramp is metal + has ridges (like in the picture below, its a little clearer but not extremely clear but best I could find)   <- this is important. 

Now please imagine a dark and stormy school day and a 8 year old who desperately needs to pee and is racing up these ramps because his elementary school dignity requires him to not pee his pants. 

And then they slip. 

And slip down the ridged metal railing. 

All the way from the top to the bottom. 

Really, their left leg took a majority of the damage. It was badly scrapped from knee to just above their ankle (thanks to his socks…) also, doesn’t really matter, but they did not make it to the bathroom in time either. 

So imagine an 8 year old limping (really dragging a leg tbh) back to class, very much out of breath from pain, through heavy rain and absolutely trying not to cry with every step. <- or don’t, not sure how much emotional damage that’ll inflict, actually. 

It ended up getting infected (which was another headache) but yeah :/ <- 3/10 not a great experience 

Avulsion wound on his big toe <- does not like talking about this one, actually. But here’s what happened: fight with his neighbor’s dog. The dog was always a bit trigger happy and Sawtooth’s never been one to shy from danger of all things. He ended up teasing the dog the one day, it didn’t have a leash on and it jumped the fence and started fighting him 💀 Ended up almost ripping their big toe off.   

Abrasion on achilles tendon <3 -> bad shoes that were just a pinch too tight that they refused to stop wearing. Everytime they took ‘em off, there was a new blister. Then he walked around with those shoes all day and the result was very red and not pretty. 

Puncture wound on their heel (<- which he has also sprained) <- stepped on a nail. The sprain was unrelated, just parkour stuff. 

[asexualaromanticblog]

Before Realising My AroAce Sexuality

I want to make one thing very clear before anyone starts reading. Though I identify as being asexual and aromantic, I can only talk about my own story because it is the only one I really understand. And I know that all of us have a different story. We all walk a different path. We all react differently to the obstacles placed in out way. But I can only talk about myself and how I, and some people I know who are also aro-ace, have been affected by their sexuality. I hope sharing my story, as well as my opinions and advice is of any use to you.

I also want all my readers to feel free about contacting me if they want their story to be published or simply understood, EVEN IF YOU AREN'T AROMANTIC OR ASEXUAL YOURSELVES. I will handle everything which any of you send me with the utmost discretion and to the word referring to your wishes.

I am a British demigirl teenager of 14 years of age who has been living in Spain since the young age of about 4 or 5. I am currently undergoing my freshman year of highschool. The presence of the doubt that I was asexual always dug at the back of my mind, but I liked to think I wasn't. I was SCARED: I didn't want to be lonely for the rest of my life. In fact, I was obsessed with the idea that I would find love eventually.

I realised I didn't like boys or men when I was about 10 or 11 years old. I simply did not feel romantically attracted by them at all. Yes, I found some boys attractive, and some actors too, but I found I was not able to form romantic attractions towards them. What's more, the people who I had previously 'liked' (obvoiusly I was like 11 so never anything truly serious) had always been very good friends of mine. Such close friends that our friendship almost seemed like the celibate and completely nonsexual relationships the popular kids were forming between each other.

I knew that gay people existed. I'd never been against it. From the moment I realised being gay was a THING, I'd supported it, even if I didn't feel that way myself.

So I went and thought: hmmm... I don't like guys. That must mean I like girls. Now, what girl do I like?

So I found a pretty girl, VERY popular (actually, I remember quite clearly her name was Inés). And I decided I had a crush on her.

Then, 7th grade, I changed schools. And I lost contact with all my friends (including Inés). I found a girl, a Russian called Maria, and decided I liked her. We dated, some months later. But we never DID anything. Max was holding hands or kissing each others cheeks. Then we broke up on rather bad terms., Even now, almost a year and a half later, we don't talk. I was in the same room as her for 15 mins and has an anxiety attack. I must admit, I hold a massive amount of trauma from that relationship still.

I had never made out with anyone and never really felt the need to, even though by 8th grade most of my friends had. I felt like I fancied another of my friends, Sarah, but when I confessed my feelings I got rejected. I was not too sore about it, surprisingly. I felt more like my pride was hurt than that my heart was broken.

And then, something magical happened.

In June of 2023, at 14 years of age, I watched Heartstopper in a day with a friend.

I fell in love with it.

And then, on the 3rd of August, when season 2 was released, I watched the entirety of it at night on my phone. And that was when I discovered asexuality.

More later!

Subscribe if you want more!

[archonofdivinity]

ROA KASSIDY - You’ve Got Him All Wrong

Roa Kassidy is, I believe, one of the most complicated characters from SEVENS. While he is manipulative and abusive slowly learning to become a better person, there is more behind what made him the way he was.

There are two main scenes that, I believe, show Roa in a heavily negative light regarding his attitudes from both the beginning and end of SEVENS.

Our first showing of Roa’s abuse was in his first main episode, Behind You!. It is here that he shoves Romin against the wall and says that he won’t reveal her secret. The manner in which he does it is also eerily similar to that of sexual harassment.

The second time is when he flirts with Asana in a clearly inappropriate manner.

I would like to remind you all that Roa is canonically a fifth grader. He’s 10/11, just like Romin. Therefore, Roa acting in this way, particularly in a perverted manner as well, is very very concerning when it comes to child development. There’s no such thing as ‘being born evil’. Personally I have a theory as to why Roa acts the way he does in the early series.

RoaRomin was formed when the band were 9/10, barely around preteens. Therefore, they 100% had to have an adult figure looking after their working lives. Of course a manager would have been required too.

RoaRomin as well is a very popular and famous band with many fans. A huge fanbase would empower a need for supply, including music, photo sessions, autographs, concerts, etc. This would be a huge amount of strain for literal children.

In Duel Links, Roa already reveals that he doesn’t attend school a lot.

That’s not all. From a much darker side, it is important to note how Roa and Romin would be child stars due to their position in the band. However Roa is seen as the most popular due to him being the singer and frontman, therefore he has the most attention placed on him. This could lead to heavy stress, as can be expected from situations regarding child stars.

Another dark thing to note is Roa’s more pervy attitudes. Psychologically there are very little explanations for this, therefore we must jump to the most common - sexual abuse. If this did happen, whenever it was, it would explain why this is a negative characteristic of his that lingers on to near the end of the show, and have such an impact. Child stars like the entirety of RoaRomin are at a very high risk for abuse and mistreatment. However Roa in particular is at the highest risk as the frontman. Even if the abuse wasn’t actually sexual, it is very likely still heavily traumatising. And let’s face it, having fans like Mimi, a literal 37-year old, crush over you is going to mess you up.

Overtime it has become more difficult for Roa to juggle his public persona with his true self as well. Roa’s smiling facade is a persona. His cheerfulness is a persona. His true self has a low self esteem because he can never be at the top.

This post is not to justify Roa’s actions here at all. Rather, I shall conclude with this.

[treetownconfessions]

new-ish to the blog (been here about a month....,,) and i wanted to finally get this off my chest bc it was killing me. i'm queer as hell now but BACK THEN when i was 11-13 i was a cis boy who just liked reading comics and doing a jump everyday in hopes of becoming the tallest jumper in the world. and at the time i found out about happy tree friends and got into it very fast, both bc the gore and extremity was edgy and cool to me and because i genuinely liked the characters. i developed a crush on flippy, because, who didnt, and finding out a LOT of htf fans felt the same made me happy at first. but it became really clear nearly all the people who crushed and fangirled over him were girls irl and i felt like a weirdo about it because i was a BOY and i had a crush on flippy who was ALSO a boy. BUT seeing those same people ship flippy with other boy-characters in the show gave me massive mixed messages, because everyone seemed to love it when it was in-show only and i hadnt EVER met another boy online who had a crush on flippy so i wondered if it just wasnt allowed when it was outside of that, even though i wanted to express it with everyone else so bad. i couldnt go to my irl friends bc none of them were into htf and i was worried theyd think i was weird anyway. so my solution to keep crushing on flippy while still being normal to everyone else was making a htf oc that was quite literally a self-insert of myself, all the way down to the comics i liked irl, and shipped him with flippy. but i never told anyone it was my self-insert and just said it was an oc very unrelated to me and i wanted to keep it that way. i made horrible art of us and wrote equally horrible fanfic of this "oc" and flippy, bc i thought it was a genius solution to expressing my adoration for flippy whilst keeping the handful of followers and online friends i had satisfied bc it was boy x boy stuff. i never wrote/drew raunchy stuff about them bc as far as i can remember it was just shit like going on a date with flippy at the library or having picnics with him etc etc. but once i shared a recent fic with one of my online friends about them and at some point they went "you wrote it like an x reader so i thought it was self insert lol" and i was genuinely in shambles. i thought they were accusing me of having a crush on flippy myself and they were about to expose me or something (they didnt even know i was a boy irl so i dont know??) so i defensively told them it wasnt a self insert and i wasnt attracted to flippy in the slightest. but i was really rude about it and they replied saying they never said that, they never accused me of having a crush on flippy or anything like that and it was just a mistake. i dont remember the entirety of our messages but i remember getting so butthurt and angry i kept telling them to fuck off and that it wasnt a mistake on their end and they HAD to be accusing me of actually liking flippy. i blocked them and i cried so hard into my pillow i could barely breathe and i considered running away from home that day bc i was convinced that person was gonna tell everyone i liked flippy even though i was a boy and somehow get to my irl friends and family and i would be considered a freak for it forever. i stopped posting my art and fics of that "oc" and flippy after that and i didnt know how to delete my account at the time (it was on deviantart) so i just logged out and never touched it again. ive been thinking about it recently now as an adult and i forgot the password to that account so everything is still up and there hasnt been a new comment since 7 years ago but it keeps me up at night thinking about the person i cussed out and all the published stuff

[hopepaigeturner]

omg i absolutely love Lucy’s drabble

her hate for Anthony Bridgerton lol it’s so funny to me ahahhah and all the feelings she has because she feels different and unuseful in her family, you portrayed them perfectly, i loved it

she and gregory are super cute and i’m so curious to know what happens next, now that she has realised he’s the missing piece

Lol the hate for Anthony is strong in this AU...justified? You'll have to find out 😉

Glad you enjoyed the snippet, sorry for the long repost but I've finally got the answer to your question about Grucy after Lucy realises he's Gregory Bridgerton.

~*~*~*~*

Well, the first thing that goes through her head is...How to stop Gregory from freaking out?

Because, from Gregory's POV, no one has ever spotted him on any mission he's tagged onto. And even in real life, no one turly sees him for who he is. So, for the girl that he sorta-kinda-has a crush on, to actually sees him for who he really is, is a bit of a shock. Then ofcourse this sprials when Lucy starts explaining her family and their role with his siblings.

Now Gregory has been raised that no one must know about his siblings' powers--other than the agency he's grown up training in . Young gregory had many lectures from Anthony and Violet of the dire consequences of exposing his power, including threats of experimentation, incarseration and assasination.

But gradually, Lucy can calm him down and get him to understand that the UA wants to help. And that Gregory needs their help because Lucy is not medically trained to remove knife wounds.

So, begrudgingly, Gregory and Lucy make their way to the academy. On the way Gregory eplains that he usually magnifies his siblings' power but after the lightning strike, this has been dialled to 11. He eplains that after the strike he felt utterly lost, and only focused when near his sibilngs, so instinctivley followed them.

By the time they enter the academy, the pair have caught up with each other's respective secrets. Even though Lucy is quick to assure him that she is 'normal' unlike her siblings. To this Gregory turns to her and says,

"Oh Lucy Abernathy, you've never been normal. I knew that the moment I stepped foot in that coffee shop."

And the way he is smiling at her actually makes the words sink in, causing her to blush. Lucy is about to reply when utter chaos erupts.

Violet Bridgerton screams upon seeing her bloodied son and runs to him. This alerts the entirety of the house.

Simon reaches the pair first, blocking Violet and insisting that they do not know what Gregory's abilities are. Gregory starts coughing and bumps into Simon's shoulder, trying to warn his family not to touch him. Lucy comments that Simon will never find out what Gregory's abilities are if he dies on the marble floor.

Lucy's comment is lost under a thundering Anthony Bridgerton who shouts at Simon to take his hands off his brother. With Anthonys emotions as out of whack as his powers, he grabs something metal and throws it at Simon's face. Simon lifts his hand, ready to divert it--when his face drops. He can't. He can feel no power.

On instinct Gregory raises his hand and the metal rod sails away and clatters on the floor.

The entire room is stunned.

At the bottom of the stairs, the air shimmers and a young woman, a year or so younger than Eloise, materialises.

"What on earth, Greg?"

"Francesca?!" The Bridgertons cry.

Michael walks leisurley into the hallway, flask in hand and raises an eyebrow,

"Wait, you can see her too?"

*~*~*~*~*

As always check out the rest of the posts, and send your asks to either me or @bridgertonbabe

[astoundinglyhugespaceobject]

brightheart or cloudtail. idk they're both interesting to me

2. those two riverclan apprentices that were named after blogclan members that were in the allegiances of a book in avos I think that got replaced by two different characters in the next book's allegiances

3. I unfortunately have NOT read any of the mangas (I seriously need to get a hold of one of them) :(

4. I was in the third grade picking out a book from the library because I had done a warrior cats animal jam roleplay the day before and I really liked it (without knowing the source material at all) and it seemed interesting and then it spawned my longest hyper-fixation on a piece of media ever

5. I don't think it was irrational, but the scene in the prophecies begin when brightheart gets named lostface, I remember being really mad at bluestar for that (a part of me still hasn't forgiven her and I don't think I will)

6. countless times.

7. probably like.. cinderpelt and fireheart. something about it just icks me out even though its canon that cinderpaw had a crush on fireheart

8. yeah, there was a multitude of random cats in the houses next to my elementary school (the 3rd and last one) that would just like roam freely and I named one cherryclaw

9. also yes, warriors was my first!!! #1 always frfr

10. I don't think so???

11. I can't remember right now but I think it was a mapleshade map

12. bok bok choy's bluestar pmv

13. that first animal jam warrior cats roleplay I did out of curiosity not having a clue of what warrior cats was and I winged the entire thing and I made a medicine cat oc named stormyleaf and she holds a special place in my heart

14. one million billion (hollyleaf)

15. yes (its a long story) but it was probably a good thing in the long run

16. scourge's collar color was always purple to me

17. yes!!!! I've read up to the first book of a starless clan (although I will admit I missed like the last 2 books of the broken code because of circumstances out of my control)

18. no (THANKFULLY)

19. my mom knows so much lore I don't even know how she's put up with me all these years frfr. I explained the entirety of the po3-avos lore to her on a Tuesday night during dinner one time

20. self-control by frank ocean for hollyleaf

21. moonkitti (with bok bok choy as an extremely close second!!!)

22. I haven't personally made any other than that one time i made designs for hollyleaf, lionblaze, and jayfeather in the calamity trio (from amphibia) outfits (although those are very much lost to time now)

23. briarlight. just bring her back to life and make her leader of everything

24. probably the dark forest

25. the weird switch-up of mothwing's character being overly mean to shadowsight in tbc???? (not sure if that counts as a plot hole but as an actual plothole, in redtails debt where he kills oakheart when it was specifically stated and was a huge plot point that redtail DIDNT kill oakheart)

26. I don't think I've blocked anyone over warriors takes

27. briarlight and jayfeather (and by extension alderheart). I could yap about them for HOURSSSSSSS. I love their dynamic(s) so much.

28. ivypool or stormcloud

fuck it. warriors ask game except the questions are all weird and niche as hell

👴 : fav elder?

❓️ : fav total background character (im not talking minor characters like say. whitewing or moonlight, i mean cats with like...3 lines tops)

📖 : fav comic page from any of the mangas and why

👶 : how old were you when you first touched a warriors book? howd it happen

💢 : what scene made you the most irrationally angry upon first reading

💧 : how many times have you cried over this wretched book series? any favorite memories

💋 : is there any ships out there you absolutely hate for genuinely no good reason at all. like its not problematic in the slightest, if anything it's one of the better ones, you just cannot bring yourself to enjoy it

🐾 : have you ever named a cat after a warriors character OR given a cat a warriors styled name? if so, tell us the story

1️⃣ : was warriors your first animal based fantasy series? if not, what series was?

👑 : when roleplaying (if you ever have roleplayed warrior cats), did you used to power play? be honest.

🗺 : first map you ever watched?

🖼 : first amv/pmv you ever watched?

🖌 : when did you make your first warriors oc? (if you say you've never had OCs, i dont believe you)

📝 : if commanded to, without warning, approximately how many paragraphs could you write about your favorite warrior cat before you ran out of things to say

💔 : have you ever lost friends over warriors related topics?

🌈 : what's the most 2010s wcforum era esque fandom opinion you still hold onto and will fight people over (things like scourges collar color, dovewings eye color, etc)

🆕️ : are you still up to date / reading the new books? if not, when did you stop?

📱 : were you ever on warriors amino? (if you were, i'm terribly sorry)

🏠 : about how much do your family know about warrior cats, if anything?

🎶 : give me a song you're surprised you haven't seen turned into a warriors pmv yet - and what character(s) you imagine it to

🎥 : fav warriors related youtuber?

❎️ : what's the weirdest crossover au involving warrior cats that you've made? (if you haven't made any, then what's the weirdest one you've seen?)

🗳 : if you could make any cat leader of any clan right now, who would you pick?

🌟 : would you hypothetically go to starclan or the dark forest?

🤔 : what's the biggest series plothole that's bugged you?

😱 : how many people have you blocked over innocuous, not at all important warriors related takes?

☯️ : what dynamic between two cats has got you up at night pacing for hours? (romantic, platonic, familial, etc)

🌫 : what's a cat you genuinely forgot existed until recently?

[mt-musings]

To Inherit the Night 11

She cried in the carriage. She cried for the two days it took them to reach the city, until her eyes burned and she she had no tears left. The carriage driver never said a word, though she was sure he could hear her.

They were real tears, but usually she would have pushed them down, never would have cried in front of someone she hardly knew—now she’d use it as a pike. 

After all, she was sure the carriage driver would talk about the battered peasant girl Marquis Vestra paid to have delivered, a peasant girl who sobbed for the entire journey. And when she arrived with red-rimmed eyes and a dress that made her look even thinner than she was, the servants would whisper and soon everyone would be talking about the poor girl Marquis Vestra dragged to Enbarr. 

Hubert she would have to be careful with, but he’d spent the entirety of their time at the academy underestimating her—all she had to do was play into his preconceptions, his assumptions. 

He’d probably force her into his service, make her spy for him, assassinate rivals, pave the way for a new Adrestian Empire with blood and crushed bone. Then she could be selectively defiant, purposely incompetent as long as it was believable, just really gum up the works, all while hopefully funneling information out to her birds and by extension to the Alliance. 

Of course, that was assuming he didn’t just throw her in a cell to rot. For most people that would be a worst case sort of situation, but for her it might be best. It’d be easy for her to slip out whenever she wanted with her shadows, easy for her to case half the palace while she was at it. Even if they cast Silence on her, or put her in some sort of anti-magic cuff she’d be fine, because none of that worked on whatever it was she could do. She wasn’t eight anymore, she’d long since figured out how to break out of any bindings.

As long as he didn’t drug her unconscious and bleed her.

Then her power would drain away with her blood. 

The thought was enough to make her nauseous.

It was a possibility—Hubert was working with Arundel, after all, and he’d do anything to secure Edelgard’s victory and her blood would go a long way towards that.

Still, it was a chance she’d have to take. 

She really was a wretched thing, to know without hesitation that she would allow herself to be used for such destruction if only it saved her brother. But the world didn’t matter without him in it, wouldn’t even exist, for her, had it not been for him. 

She’d burn it all to the ground herself, if she lost him. Because she was a monster, the like of which even she didn’t yet know. 

~~~

Edelgard had warned him about his chosen course of action with the Savage Mockingbird’s lovely little dove. 

“She will not bow to the rules of your games so easily, Hubert,” she had said with a raised brow. “You would have much more luck pursuing her affection in a more traditional manner, lest she resent you.”

“I—I do not want her affection. I am simply mitigating a threat to the Empire and ensuring another ring of spies.”

“You could ensure the same without insisting on marrying her.”

“Perhaps. Though the issue of her bloodline would remain.”

“Or is it simply the fact that you can’t bear the thought of her with someone else?”

He hadn’t said anything to that, the answer plain even to himself. He’d convinced himself that he’d be fine with her hating him, as long as she was safe. Right up until her carriage pulled up outside the palace. 

She wore a simple, patched dress, half of her hair braided back from her face and tied with a ragged violet ribbon. There was a fading bruise on her jaw and and her face had sharpened in the last four years—judging from the way the fabric of her dress hung from her frame he’d guess she’d skipped more than a few meals. But she still had the same shock of white hair, the same mismatched eyes—eyes that burned with a barely concealed fury, red-rimmed from crying. 

She ignored the hand he offered to help her descend from the carriage, leaping to the cobblestone with little regard for decorum. 

She’d suffered, in the time they’d spent apart, and suffered greatly. It wasn’t unexpected, but it was hard to stomach the reality of it in front of him. 

She glared at him before turning to the carriage driver and thanking him, forcing a smile until she turned back to him, looking at him with the same sort of disgust as one might a cockroach. 

“If you have harmed a single hair on his head—“ she began, voice trembling as she spoke. 

“He is unharmed, as promised. I am true to my word, Cecily, in case you have forgotten.”

“Take me to him. I won’t agree to anything until I see him.”

“As you wish,” he said, leading her into the palace. He could practically feel her rage roiling off her, see it in every tensed muscle. He was quite sure she wished nothing more than to throttle him. 

She followed him silently through the halls of the palace, ignoring him completely as he carefully unlocked a door and held it open for her. 

Yuri sat on the narrow bed, his usual flippancy replaced with resignation.

She darted to his side as soon as Hubert opened the door. He couldn’t help but see the hopelessness in the other man’s eyes, resentment flashed his way as she threw her arms around him.

“Yuri! I’ve been so worried—“

“You shouldn’t have come, you know it’s a trap.”

“I don’t care. I could never leave you here—“

“He’s just exchanging one hostage for another. Cecily—“

“Don’t, don’t you dare. It’s my choice.”

“Cecily—“

“I won’t hear it, Yuri. Not after everything you’ve done for me.”

Hubert knew he deserved both their ire, had expected it, but he hadn’t expected the look of pure devastation that flashed across Yuri’s face as Cecily buried her face in his shoulder. He’d always been so good at schooling his expression, at keeping up his perfect little facade. It was the first time he’d seen it slip.

It was gone a moment later, replaced by loathing as his eyes flicked to Hubert’s face. 

“This is low, even for you,” he said, venom dripping from his words. Hubert stared back impassively, an art he’d mastered at an extremely young age. He felt it crack just a little as a ragged sob escaped her chest, the sound muffled by Yuri’s shoulder.

“I’ll give you ten minutes,” he said, checking his pocket watch. “Then we’ll talk terms.”

Neither of them answered him, so he stepped out into the hall, leaning against the wall. He should be listening to what they were saying, he knew, but he needed a moment to settle himself. 

He’d thought, maybe upon seeing her, that he’d realize that he’d made whatever affection he held for her larger in his head, that it was magnified by nostalgia. Or maybe he’d hoped. Instead, he found himself discomposed at the sound of her grief, a disconcerting fact considering the amount of traitors and spies he’d heard cry and beg for their lives and felt nothing but disgust. 

Having her near was dangerous, should anyone realize that she could be used against him, harmed in order to harm him. But the alternative would allow Arundel to capture her, torture her, do every awful experiment—

No, he could shoulder her ire, her hatred, her grief and hold it against his soul. He could prevent one atrocity, then, and she in turn could help him exterminate Arundel and his ilk from the face of the earth come war’s end. It was all for the greater good, for Lady Edelgard’s dream.

And perhaps a little of his own selfishness. 

He took a deep breath and turned back to the door, to the voices that had raised behind it.

“You can’t Cecily, you can’t, I won’t let you—“

“You’re not letting me do anything, it’s my choice and only my choice.”

“It’s not, it’s not, you know it’s not.”

“He said he would execute you, Yuri!”

“And you should have stayed far away! You know—you know who he’s working with, you know what they’ll do—“

“I don’t care. I don’t care, I could never leave you here, leave you here to die—“

“And what do you expect me to do? You expect me to leave and let them do whatever awful thing they have planned?”

“Yes! Yes, I do, because I can bear it. You know I can, and everyone needs you. I need you out there.”

“Do you think I need you less? You’re a damn fool—“

“Maybe I am. But it’s my choice and you won’t make me change it.”

“I’m not—I’m not writing your name in my book, Magpie, I’m not—“

“You know they don’t want me dead. Not right away.”

“There are things worse than death! What they’d done to you when I found you—“

“I survived, Yuri. I always do. Just—please understand. I have to. You’re the only family I have left. They’re not getting you, too. Please, please let me be selfish.”

Hubert pushed off from the wall, opening the door once more. They both turned to look at him, Cecily’s face slicked with tears. She’d always been so guarded with her emotions, hiding everything under a smile but now—there were breaking points for everyone.

He knew that better than most.

“I believe it’s time we ironed out the details. Cecily, if you’ll come with me,” he said stiffly, ignoring the murderous look Yuri shot him. 

“I love you, I love you, I love you,” Cecily stammered, hugging him so tightly it must have hurt. “I promise, I promise everything will be okay.”

“Cecily, please don’t. Please—“

“It’ll be okay,” she said, stepping away, smiling at Yuri even as her lip trembled She turned away before he could see the fresh wave of tears rolling down her cheeks, the way her smile crumpled as she held back a sob. Hubert stepped wordlessly into the hall, locking the door after Cecily followed. She trailed behind him, silent, her head bowed, but he could hear her uneven, stuttering breaths, hear how she tried to force them to even out, how she held them when she couldn’t, until she needed the next breath. 

He’d done that. He’d done all of that. 

They thought he was going to hand her over to Arundel, that he was going to torture and experiment on her, possibly until it killed her, and she’d still agreed. She’d come willingly, without an ounce of hesitation. 

No wonder her eyes had been red when she arrived.

He led her to his office, shutting the door behind her before crossing to his desk and pulling out a sheath of documents. He slid them across the desk towards her along with a quill and a bottle of ink, pretending not to see her surreptitiously wipe the tears from her cheeks as she tried to compose herself. 

“I don’t intend you harm, nor do I intend to allow anyone else to harm you,” he said, keeping his eyes on the documents on the desk. “But you simply cannot be allowed to continue as you have. You’ve caused me quite the headache.”

She turned towards him, her face impassive even if it was still clear she’d been crying. She approached the the desk as if expecting to be struck, eyes scanning the documents. She froze when she reached the contract, her already pale face whitening. She looked up at him with wide, frightened eyes.

“You’re joking. Tell me you’re joking and you really intend to send me to the front lines. That you intend to make me spy for you. That you intend to lock me in the dungeon and forget about me.”

“I am not.”

“W-why?”

“Isn’t marriage how most political alliances are ensured? The Empire could use the Savage Mockingbird’s network of spies and I need you to stop with your little extermination project. In return they are spared criminal prosecution and you live in relative comfort.”

She made a face, before turning back to the documents, taking a shuddering breath. She stared at it for a long moment, though he could see she wasn’t reading it.

“House Vestra has no Crest,” she said evenly.

“I am well aware,” he replied, raising a brow. She searched his face, something about her expression unreadable, though there was a flash of something that passed too quickly for him to place. Then she turned back to the contract. 

She shook as she stared at the document, biting her lip. He didn’t think she was really even seeing it, not with the way her eyes seemed to stared through it. 

“And if I sign it, if I agree, then Yuri goes free?”

“He works for the Empire, obeys Imperial commands, checks in when he’s supposed to.”

“And if he changes his mind, after? You won’t hurt him—“

“If he falls in line he’ll be well-compensated and have relative freedom. If he deserts, I will ensure he never sees you again. Otherwise you will be able to see each other at my discretion.”

She made a face, staring off into the middle distance as she seemed to war with herself over something. It was a full five minutes before she finally spoke. 

“I—I want something else, if I sign. I want Yuri to go free and I want something else.”

“And what would that be?” He asked warily. He’d expected her to contest the terms, to want to secure herself money or property or some semblance of independence. She’d never been materialistic, but he expected her to lash back at him in any way she could. And it wasn’t as if it would be that different from any other sort of noble marriage agreement. 

She pursed her lips, curling and uncurling her hands into fists, looking as though she might burst into tears again. 

“There were people in Abyss we got out before you attacked the monastery. People who had nowhere else to go. Urchins and…war-orphans. My work paid for them, and if I can’t any longer—I want you to find someplace decent for them to live, far away from Arundel’s lands. I promised those kids they’d never go hungry. My last purse won’t cover more than two months, for all of them. I—that is my price, that you bring them to safety and keep them housed and clothed and fed.”

He was taken aback for a moment, a rarity. 

He searched her face, her agonizing and fear entirely explained. What she was asking—she was handing him a pronged collar when he’d simply asked for a lead, and she knew it. 

She’d always had a soft heart. It was a terrible trait in an assassin. 

He wordlessly took the contract and added a clause that he would personally take responsibility for the denizens of Abyss as the Marquis Vestra and that he would see them housed comfortably, clothed, and fed. He turned it back for her to read. He watched her eyes flick over it, check the wording twice before she nodded.

She stared at him for a long moment, something hollow behind her eyes, before she took a deep breath and signed the bottom of the document. 

“Is that all?” she asked quietly. 

“It should be sufficient,” he replied, putting the papers back into the drawer. “I’ll see you to your chambers.”

“M-my what?”

“The chambers that you’ll stay in until we are wed.”

“Can’t I go see Yuri? We barely spoke.”

“Your next visit will be based on how cooperative you both decide to be.”

“And what exactly do I need to do to be cooperative?”

“If you do as I say and do not create a nuisance of yourself.”

She stared at him looking so utterly lost. It made his chest ache.

Still, he motioned for her to follow him, leading her through a maze of halls. Usually guest chambers would be in the eastern wing, but he had secured chambers off the Inner Gardens, near his own chambers and far, far from where Lord Arundel stayed when he came to the palace. 

He unlocked the door and stepped aside to allow her entry. It was a small suite, as far as those along the Inner Gardens went, with only a small sitting room, bath chamber, and a bedchamber, but it was the most easily protected and out of the way enough that no one had any reason to even pass by. There was a small balcony where she could enjoy the gardens, though she had no access to them, with a pair of lounge chairs on it. 

Cecily stood in the middle of the sitting room, just staring, for a long time. When she finally spoke it was barely more than a whisper.

“Am I allowed to roam the castle, or do you intend to confine me to these rooms?”

“Until the wedding you will stay here unless you accompany me somewhere at my request.”

She took a deep breath and nodded. “Will my bag be brought up?”

“I will see that it is, along with some entertainment. If you are hungry I can have the kitchens send something up, otherwise dinner will be brought at six.”

She shook her head, still looking dazed. He frowned, but didn’t press the issue. 

“There will be a guard stationed outside your door around the clock. If you should need something, knock and they shall see it fetched. Do you require anything before I take my leave? I have important business to attend to elsewhere.”

She shook her head again, shoulders curling in as she continued to stare. Hubert left without saying anything further, locking her in before flagging down a palace guard to stand watch until his own agent relieved him.

He kept a brisk pace until he reached his office and closed the door, locking it behind him. He leaned against it, squeezing his eyes shut as he pinched the bridge of his nose. 

It would have been better if she’d stayed furious with him. He wished she’d screamed at him or tried to hit him or anything besides the resigned desolation she’d met him with. 

He’d broken her. 

~~~

He’d made sure he could see her rooms from his. She kept the curtains shut tight, but he could see her sitting on the little balcony, her feet propped up on the rail. He’d been watching her off and on for over an hour since he’d retired to his study to finish his reports as he usually did in the evening. She’d originally gone out to smoke, a habit she must have picked up since he’d last seen her, and she’d just sat on the railing itself, staring up at the black sky.

The city lights blocked out all the stars. 

She’d stayed, though, after she’d finished, occasionally shifting position as she stared into the darkness. He’d thought at one point she might have been reading something, but she’d left no light on in the sitting room behind her to illuminate anything, hadn’t even bothered to light the fire.

She hadn’t eaten, either. Her dishes had returned to the kitchen untouched. 

He’d address it if it became a habit. For now he’d let her be, let her adjust as best she could. He looked up at a knock on his chamber door, tearing himself away from his voyerism. He crossed back through his sitting room to answer the door, fully annoyed at being interrupted.  He swore if it was Ferdinand—

“Do you have a moment?” Edelgard asked.

“Of course,” he said, stepping aside to let her in. “I’ll make tea.”

She nodded, crossing to sit on one of the couches in front of his coffee table, directly in front of the white pieces of his chess board. He watched her consider the pieces a moment as he made tea before resolutely making her move.

They often played as they talked, something they had begun doing as children. They were evenly matched, simply trading victories when they didn’t end in stalemate. He enjoyed it, though they had been playing so long they both knew what the other would do practically before they did it. Somewhere around Edelgard’s thirteenth birthday the whole thing had become rather mindless, something to do with their hands, an excuse to sit for an hour in quiet conversation, conversation no one would expect was plotting revolution. 

“I heard Cecily arrived,” Edelgard said as he set the tea service down. He considered the board a moment before making his move and turning back to the service to make her cup—a splash of milk and far too much sugar. 

“She did,” he said, setting it by her elbow as she countered his pawn.

“And?” she asked pointedly. “What happened? How is she?”

“Half starved to death and covered in bruises. She agreed to the terms without a fight.”

Edelgard furrowed her brows. “That seems odd, considering her reaction in the Tomb.”

“She’d come under the assumption that I planned to give her to your uncle for further experimentation. So I suppose marriage to myself is preferable to indefinite physical torture, though only just. She did suggest I instead throw her in a cell and allow her to starve to death.”

“You know that I didn’t mean it that way.”

“I do.”

“She’ll come around. Did you explain anything to her?”

“She could hardly look at me. I considered it cruel.”

“Well, you did hold Yuri hostage.”

“Yes, but I expected her to be furious, not—“ he broke off, shaking his head.

“Not what?”

“She was desolate. Broken.”

“You threatened to kill her brother and she assumed you meant to imprison and torture her, Hubert. I told you it was a terrible idea.”

He said nothing, pretending to concentrate on their game. He could already see he would lose. 

“Have you at least tried to explain any of it to her?”

“She will only think I’m lying. If she will listen at all.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Oh? Did you forget what she did when the Church assigned us to hunt down Sylvain’s older brother?”

Both she and Miklan had been covered in blood by the time the Professor and the rest of the class had caught up to her. She hadn’t even bothered to unsheathe her sword, instead somehow leaping on his back and clinging on as she plunged one of her tiny throwing daggers into whatever flesh she could reach, so long as it wouldn’t kill him quickly. She hadn’t stopped when he’d plunged the Lance of Ruin into her shoulder and he doubted, had the professor not dealt the decisive blow that knocked her from his back, that she would have stopped until he resembled hamburger meat or transformed into a demonic beast beneath her.

“That was entirely different.”

“Because he’d actually killed her mother, rather than just allying with her murderers?”

“Because she hated Miklan.”

He huffed a laugh, utterly devoid of humor. “I can assure you, she loathes me.”

Edelgard appeared unconvinced. “If you only explained to her the reality of it then perhaps she would realize we are all of the same heart when it comes to my uncle’s ilk.”

“I think it best if I leave her be, for now.”

“You mean to leave her in those rooms without company?”

“I’m sure she’d prefer it to mine.”

“Or the solitude will drive her to desperation.”

Hubert flicked over his king, conceding the match. Edelgard gave him a piercing look. 

“This would all be much simpler if you only admitted your affection for her and explained the danger you’re attempting to mitigate.”

“Or she’d use it as a knife to drive into my back.”

Edelgard gave him a look, brow raised. “I think she’d at least have the decency to stab you in your front. She was sweet on you, after all.”

“That was a long time ago,” he said, trying not to think of the way she used to smile at him, crooked and unrestrained, her mismatched eyes sparkling with mischief. Not the hollow, tear-stained cheeks and dead eyes of the girl he’d seen today.

Next

[elefantdaydream]

PFAS

Ch 9: Dino & Drugs

Dino was a very special guy in my life, he was a year younger than me. Dino was very special to me, though he wasn’t the type of special where I wanted to shower him with hugs and kisses and where I wanted to hold hands with him under the full moon sky and dance in the pouring rain. No. Dino was the type of boy I was trying to save from himself.

Dino, similar to myself, was a child of divorce. Dino, similar to myself, had a brother who had been lost to the snow; but unlike me, his life was far more crooked, you could even say his life was broken while mine was just bent.

Like I had said before, Dino was a child of divorce, his dad lived abroad and his mother was a raging alcoholic who would disappear for weeks on end. His grandparents took care of him and his grandma was his greatest supporter. One day his only brother was found lying dead in the gutter, overdosed on heroin. His hero, much like mine, had died; but unlike me, his was a physical death. A year later, his greatest support also passed away, and another year later, his second grandpa also left. so he was now left with his deadbeat mom, a dad who didn’t care about him and a grandparent who taught him how to play the guitar.

The guitar and the music were his escape to reality, yet it wasn’t the only. He found himself in the world of drugs and alcohol and he now was more depressed than ever. So he came to me.

We sat down one day before practice and he started off slow, telling me how shit had hit the fan from one day to another. I ended up telling him about my brother's death. He was the second person I ever told.

Dino was obsessed with women and getting pretty girls, and when he had a crush on someone, all he’d do was talk about other girls to them (maybe he was trying to make them jealous). Dino was obsessed with snorting snow and putting out cigarette buds on his arms and on his back. Dino was obsessed with letting people know he hadn’t slept a wink throughout the entirety of the night. Dino was obsessed with making people feel bad for him.

At parties, it became my unsaid responsibility to keep an eye out for him, to make sure he didn’t get blackout drunk and to make sure he didn’t swallow any of the funny looking pills he kept in his pocket. If i see any on his hands, i’d take them and turn them into snow on the ground, deeming them useless (unless he wanted to get down on the floor and take a wide sniff of the powder mixed with gravel, which i’m sure he would’ve done). On a hazy Wednesday night, Dino called me at about 11:15pm, claiming he was overdosed on some amphetamine and that some of the friends he’d hung out with had convinced him to do so. I hung up on him at 2:30am. He never once said thank you or I’m sorry. He never asked how I was doing either. Ever. My sorrow for him grew so much that once, for the day of the dead, he asked me to accompany him to visit his grandma's grave. I didn’t want to go but I went. I drove us there. That day he cried on me and laid on my lap and shoulder while I drew circles on his back trying to comfort him. I was uncomfortable; He was drugged. He ended up passing out on the car ride back.

Dino developed a crush on me but I didn’t reciprocate the feelings (I was flattered needless to say). He’d tell me all the time how he liked this other girl and how once when visiting his father abroad, he’d had some steamy steamy sex with some older, life life-guard girl he’d met. I never believed a second of it. He was tall and slinky and scrawny and he quite literally had three hairs growing opposite to each other in his chin; his eyes were sunken down and his hair had never before been trimmed in his life. Dino was not a very good looking boy. If he was, maybe I would’ve considered giving him a shot.

I started growing tired of this. He wasn’t a child, he wasn’t related to me in any way, he wasn’t even my boyfriend for me to be taking such care of him. He was my friend but it felt like I was being treated as his nanny. One day I told him I was tired of hearing him complain, and told him he had to get his act together. He never talked to me about his problems again, in fact, we drifted apart.

[imaginativeamateur]

[Itachi Uchiha X Reader] First Snow {Prologue}

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12

Pairing: Itachi Uchiha x fem!Reader

Note: Oh man, I just had this spark of inspiration and oh well... *sighs* So I'm planning to make this one a multi-chapter, it's been long since I've written one so I miss the thrill :DD It's really angsty to begin with, and it's also... rough, but don't worry, I always end with a happy ending :D For this series, it's a non-massacre AU. There is a mention of drugging (not anything feral, though) so read at your consent. Also, I have no other choice but to make Izumi the bad guy here :'), for the sake of the plot. Enjoy reading, let me know what you think!

You were married to the love of your life. But were you happy? No.

Being the legally wedded wife of Itachi Uchiha and the prestigious daughter-in-law of Fugaku and Mikoto Uchiha, everything you had ever experienced was the cold shoulder that your husband gave you every day and the sleepless nights that you could no longer keep count of. You were taken under his roof as a means to strengthen the Uchiha clan. You were born here and lived in the neighborhood for roughly six years, then you moved with your parents to the north for settlement. Now that your parents passed away in the most recent conflict at the border, you took your branch of Uchiha back to reunite with the main house. Fugaku and Mikoto gladly took you under their wings and even set you up with their eldest son and the future heir of the clan—who happened to be your childhood crush.

After you joined forces with the main house, the elders advised you to get engaged with Itachi as soon as possible. You were obviously nervous and thrilled, shifting back and forth on your futon for the entirety of the meeting. However, your future husband showed no sign of approval. Instead, a deep frown drew itself across his thin lips. You could not help but steal glances at him, trying to figure out what was going on inside his mind. You were not always exceptionally keen on reading people, yet, you could clearly see that the expression Itachi displayed was far less than a pleasurable one.

You dwelled on the elders’ words after the meeting with uncertainty and ambivalence. In the end, you resorted to seeking some advice from Fugaku and Mikoto, they were the ones who were closest to you after all. Fugaku immediately claimed that your marriage was the best thing that could ever happen and Mikoto urged you with grace. Both of them were very supportive and were in full approval. Yet, the greatest obstacle that you were facing was no one else but your soon-to-be husband, Itachi.

You knew Itachi was an excellent man that literally excelled in every area that he had his mind on. A man like him naturally attracted attention and affection from everyone—you knew this by heart. Yet, he remained loyal to the one and only Izumi Uchiha. You knew that you had nothing in comparison to her, from your appearance to your skills, your personality to your upbringing—you also knew this by heart.

You were ready to turn down the offer from Itachi’s parents after you saw the two walking around hand in hand. After all, love was only worth cherishing if both parties walk in the same direction. Itachi deserved to be happy and if you could sacrifice your unrequited love for his bright future with Izumi, you would. You were the one who stepped into their picture, all in all.

That evening, the Uchiha clan was hosting a banquette to celebrate their Twentieth Year Anniversary under Fugaku’s lead. You planned to bring the topic up to the elders first thing tomorrow morning, you must end this strain as soon as possible. However, the unexpected happened.

While you were sitting alone at a bench, still unfamiliar with most of the people present at the banquette and feeling like the odd one out, Izumi suddenly approached you with an affable smile. You were grateful that she came and talked to you to get you out of the solemn mood you put on earlier. Izumi seemed like a great person, you figured, it was probably why Itachi fell in love with her.

You felt a bit down at the thought and she noticed, handing you a glass of champagne, “Come on, have some fun!”

You reached out to take the stem of the glass and sipped on it timidly, embarrassed that you just exhibited such an unfriendly manner. Fortunately, Izumi did not mind your pessimism at all, she offered you a hand and introduced you to the people your age. Slowly, you were able to open up to most of them with her help, you relaxed a bit and immersed yourself into the festive atmosphere of the banquette, completely letting your guard down.

After a while and everyone was about to leave the place, Izumi pulled you aside, “Hey, Y/N, do you mind helping me to fetch something? I suddenly have a stomachache and my family is leaving in no time!”

Her voice was laced with panic as she hugged her lower abdomen in pain, you replied instantly though a bit lightheaded yourself, “What do you want me to get you?”

"Itachi, Shisui, and I met in the morning to go over some documents on the second floor, the first room on your right when you come up,” she panted, “I forgot my materials there, it’s a blue folder on the desk. I need to submit it to the Council tomorrow, but—”

“No problem!” You moved on your feet, “I’ll get it for you, do you need me to take you to the bathroom? You seem very pale!”

“No, I’m fine,” she denied, “please hurry up! Thank you so much, Y/N!”

You nodded and dashed up the flight of stairs. When you were out of sight, Izumi stood up straight and a smirk appeared on her red lips. She, herself, trailed after you to witness the fun she prepared.

The hallway on the second floor was pitch-black, making it hard for you to move around without bumping into the furniture. You tried to find the light switch, switching it on and off a few times, but the light bulbs seemed to have died out. Somehow, you could not activate your Sharingan, you thought it was probably due to the alcohol you consumed earlier, for you were always a light drinker. You were also in no condition to activate it after you almost lost your sight for overusing the kekke genkai in the previous encounters back in the north either. You sighed, making your way to the two opposite rows of doors along the hallway. Luckily, you needed to enter the first one on the right, if it was somewhere at the end of the hall, you did not know how you would navigate through.

You turned the doorknob and walked in, unfortunately, the lights inside the room were out. However, by the natural illumination of the moon hanging outside the big window, you were able to see the outlines of the bed, some chairs, and the desk. At that moment, you did not notice that the room temperature was inexplicably warm and a luring scent filled the air. Until your body was slammed down on the mattress by two forceful hands, you realized that this was a trap. You felt heat surging through every cell of your body, but it was too late.

------------------

Taglist: @dai-tsukki-desu @thenightfallingstar @animepickle7 @simping-master-69 @tirzamisu @rinnegankakashi @the-tiniest-one @greenshirtimagines

[raphael-angele]

It's Pride Month and I am an Aromantic Asexual

This is one of the experiences I went through as an AroAce.

Basically the entirety of my circle of friends is composed of LGBTQ+ people. My best friend (Aliyah) is bisexual but prefers women, Yangji is gay (mlm) and just came out (edited cuz i posted this saying he was Bi, preferring men but he just came out on FB). And my other best friend (Max) is also bi. There are like...2 or 3 people who are straight, the rest of us is bisexual or gay, excluding me, who's the only one who is AroAce. And I only came out as Ace when I was in around Grade 10 and I realized I was Aro around November of last year.

I went out some time ago with my friends and we went to Yangji's house cuz it's his birthday. And naturally, when you're invited to someone's birthday party, you get to meet people who you've never met. Some of those people were of our classmates from Junior High. (In my country, Grade 7-10 is Junior High. 11-12 is Senior High. I just finished Grade 11.)

One of them is Mika (she/her). Now, Mika is pansexual. And we were only classmates in Grade 7. We were different classes from 8-10 but still saw each other every now and then. This info is somehow relevant to the story.

At some point of the event, we were all in Yangji's room and we somehow got into the topic of LGBTQ+. Then Mika pointed out how gay our friend group is. We laughed it off cuz it's true. Then she said something about guys and sex and relationships. And I, being a snarky person at times, said that I couldn't really relate. Here's how our convo turned out

Mika: Wdym?

Me, realizing she doesn't know: Oh, yeah. I'm AroAce.

Mika: Huh?

Me: Aromantic Asexual.

Mika: I thought you were straight.

Me: So did I, but apparently not.

Mika: Doesn't aromantic mean you can't fall in love?

Me: Technically, yes.

Mika: O, so why do you say you're aromantic? You had a crush on Sam right?

Sam is a friend of mine that I was really close to cuz I saw him as a brotherly figure.

Me: No, I didn't have a crush on him. I mean, I was clingy and all but that's it.

Mika: That's not what I know.

Me: Well, what you know is wrong.

This is where it got a little heated

Mika: JD said you had a crush on Joaquin and Duke when you were in Elementary.

JD is an old classmate from Elem who went to the same school as me in HS. Joaquin was a friend from high school prep class. Duke is an elem classmate.

Me: Uh, no. I was just really close with them. I had a pick me girl phase so...

Mika: No, you definitely had a crush on them.

Me: And that's exactly how I found out I'm Aromantic.

Max: What do you mean?

Me: I mean, I found out I'm aromantic cuz when I looked back at my "crushes" I realized that they weren't really my crushes and that I never felt anything for them more than being a sister figure. And the only reason I admitted that they're my crush is because I'm tired of everyone telling me, "Hey, you have a crush on him, don't you?" "You like him, right?" "Don't deny it, you have a crush"

Cuz it's true. The only reason I had "crushes" is because people kept on forcing me to admit that I like that person. I gave in to the pressure of calling them my crush. Also, I only had like, 3 "crushes" my whole life. I'm freaking 17 now. I never even had a fictional crush, despite how much I like fictional characters more than real people.

---As for being Ace---

Most instances where I was questioned for being Asexual, it's either people telling me I can't be Ace cuz being Ace isn't real since everyone has sexual desires or people asking me how I know I'm Ace when I haven't experienced it yet.

First of all, I don't know if I'm entirely Ace, there's a chance that I'm Aegosexual, which means I'm not against the idea of sex just being a part of it which should also explain a lot of things about the second part; I don't wanna have sex cuz of various reasons, reasons I cannot explain in words.

I'm not really sexually repulsed, I like reading smut and sex scenes but actually seeing people do it is a no for me.

But this is only one of the experiences of being aroace. My parents were more than supportive that I'm aroace. My mom was actually grateful cuz it means I wont get pregnant or into any relationships so it saves me the heartbreak. I don't think she fully understands it but hey! she gets the concept... I think...

[zayaanhashistory]

The Waco Siege 

The Waco Siege began in early 1993, when a government raid on a compound in Axtell, Texas, led to a 51-day standoff between federal agents and members of a millennial Christian sect called the Branch Davidians. The siege ended dramatically on April 19, 1993, when fires consumed the compound, leaving some 75 people dead, including 25 children. On February 28, 1993, some 80 agents from the U.S. Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms (ATF) raided a religious compound at Mount Carmel, near Waco, Texas, after receiving reports that the Branch Davidians and their leader, David Koresh, were violating federal firearms regulations. After four ATF agents and six Davidians were killed in the gun battle that followed, a cease-fire was arranged, and nearly 900 law enforcement officials eventually surrounded the compound, including hostage negotiators and rescue teams from the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI). 

Reporters soon arrived on the scene as well, and the 51-day siege that followed would play out on TV screens and in newspaper headlines around the world. Despite some early negotiating successes—the Davidians sent about 2 dozen children out in exchange for food and other supplies—numerous children remained among those inside, many of them Koresh’s children with various women. In the 1930s, a disgruntled member of the Seventh-Day Adventist Church named Victor Hou Teff had broken away and founded the Davidian movement. After Hou Teff's death, Ben Roden led an offshoot of the movement known as the Branch Davidians, who took control of Hou Teff's original settlement at Mount Carmel, near Waco, by 1962. 

Believing the Bible is literally the word of God, the Branch Davidians looked to it for clues about the end of the world and Christ’s Second Coming, as told in the Book of Revelation. Roden died in 1978, leaving his wife, Lois, as head prophetess of the sect. In 1981, a 22-year-old convert named Vernon Wayne Howell arrived at Mount Carmel; he became involved with Lois Roden, and after her death clashed with her son, George, over control. 

In a gun battle in late 1987, George Roden was shot in the head and chest, and Howell and seven followers went on trial for attempted murder. The seven other men were acquitted, and Howell’s case ended in a mistrial. By 1990, having asserted control over the Branch Davidians, Howell legally changed his name to David Koresh. (“Koresh” is the Hebrew translation of Cyrus, the ancient Persian king who conquered Babylon and allowed the Jews to return to Israel.) In his negotiations with the FBI during the Waco siege, Koresh claimed he was a messianic figure prophesied in the Bible and that God had given him his surname. He threatened violence against those who would attack him and his family, but asserted that the Davidians weren’t planning a mass suicide. 

To the Branch Davidians, Koresh was “the Lamb,” the only one (according to the Book of Revelation) worthy of unlocking the Seven Seals and revealing to the world the entirety of the Bible’s teachings. This identification allowed Koresh to justify some of his controversial (even within the sect) practices, including taking various “spiritual wives,” some reportedly as young as 11 years old. As time wore on, the negotiators and the Hostage Rescue Team, which handled all the tactical maneuvers, disagreed on how to handle the siege. The latter team, frustrated by the slow pace of negotiations, employed aggressive tactics like playing ear-splitting music or crushing the Davidians’ cars—disrupting often-delicate negotiation efforts. 

In mid-April, after religious scholars reached out to Koresh through a radio discussion of the teachings of Revelation, Koresh sent a message through his lawyer announcing he had received word from God and was writing his message on the Seven Seals; he would come out with his followers when he was finished. The FBI, unconvinced, decided to act to end the siege. Though initially reluctant, Attorney General Janet Reno ended up approving a plan to fire CS gas (a form of tear gas) into the Mount Carmel compound to try and force out the Davidians. Just after 6 a.m. on April 19, 1993, FBI agents used two specially equipped tanks to penetrate the compound and deposit some 400 containers of gas inside. Soon after the attack ended, around 12 pm, several fires simultaneously broke out around the compound, and gunfire was heard inside. Safety concerns prevented firefighters from entering Mount Carmel immediately, and the flames spread quickly and engulfed the property. Though nine Davidians were able to escape, investigators later found 76 bodies inside the compound, including 25 children. Some of them, including Koresh, had fatal gunshot wounds, suggesting suicide or murder-suicide. 

From the beginning, the government’s handling of the Waco siege (which played out in the national and international media) was heavily criticized. Reno took responsibility for the botched raid, later admitting there was no evidence of ongoing child abuse within the compound (which had been one of the justifications for ordering the gas attack). Though the government long maintained that its actions played no role in starting the fires at the Waco compound, in 1999 it was revealed that some of the gas the FBI used was flammable under certain conditions. Reno subsequently appointed the lawyer and former senator John Danforth to lead an investigation into the siege’s end. In 2000, he concluded that government agents did not start the fires or shoot at the compound.  

Despite this conclusion, resentment lingered about the government’s handling of the situation, which partially fueled the growth of homegrown militias in the United States. The Waco siege and the 1992 Ruby Ridge incident in Idaho are often cited by government critics as examples of overreach and intrusion by federal officials. In April 1995, on the second anniversary of the Waco siege’s end, a militant named Timothy McVeigh used a truck loaded with 4,800 pounds of fuel oil and aluminum nitrate to attack the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. With a total of 168 people killed and some 850 wounded, the Oklahoma City bombing was by far the deadliest terrorist attack in the United States to that date. 

To learn more, I highly recommend to watch this video: The Cult, Standoff, & Conspiracy of Waco