#OR C) A WAY TO ALWAYS BE VALIDATED AS IN THE RIGHT FOR MINOR CONFLICTS THAT OTHER PARTIES HAVE ALREADY FORGOTTEN

[eclaire-went-bam]

I REALLY NEED TO STOP TREATING THERAPY LIKE A GAME. MY THERAPISTS ARE NOT PLAYING CHESS W ME. CALM DOWN !!!

[nonamersxxl]

@cearthduo, I'd like to respond to your post cause I don't quite share your opinion and I think it's fun to discuss things with people who have the opposite point of view, so don't take it as a me being negative or something.

I think the reasons why you think c!Dream apologists criticize c!Sapnap's actions or think he's stubborn or stupid are different from what the people criticizing c!Sapnap actually think or smth. Well, at least me and the people I've talked to, cause I can't look into everyone's head. Like, I can see why c!Sapnap might be upset with c!Dream, he has every right to be, the complaint is more that he actively harms c!Dream much more than necessary in late plot and how those actions change your understanding of earlier events.

I could argue that the difference in views between c!Sapnap and c!Dream could be a valid explanation for why c!Sapnap periodically chooses the opposite side in wars, or rather, I don't even care if he does. On the server taking the opposite side from your allies in minor conflicts is considered almost normal -- the problem is more that c!Sapnap starts the conflicts themselves, despite knowing c!Dream's position on this matter -- I personally would not do something that my friends don't like or that they consider harmful to the place they live in -- in my opinion, this is how a healthy friendship should work. Or even more, he doesn't always try to defend c!Dream when someone starts a conflict against him or slanders him, like, he literally says nothing about all these statements about c!Dream's non-existent tyranny, although you would think that any person would want to defend the honor of a person they consider a friend... But then again, I wouldn't call it my gripe with c!Sapnap, cause compared to how cruel the server has become, this is a small thing and did not harm c!Dream that much. I've seen people use these takes when criticizing c!Sapnap and I don't completely agree with them, but I usually try to understand why people think the way they do and it makes sense.

But I definitely don't agree that asking c!Tommy about their relationship was a normal thing to do. Even if all three of them were best friends and c!Tommy thought only the best of c!Dream, it would still be a pretty questionable move -- you should always talk about your relationship with a person in person, and not discuss them behind their back. But it doesn't even matter, cause no matter how good a friend c!Tommy is to c!Sapnap, he is still c!Dream's enemy and therefore biased. And I mean, c!Tommy didn't tell c!Sapnap the truth, did he? c!Tommy may have his own opinion on this matter and I'm not saying that he lied out of evil intentions (lol), on the contrary, after c!Dream's words and actions, it is logical for him to think badly of him. However, c!Tommy is wrong and we, as viewers, understand this -- c!Dream gave the spirit speech cause he did not want to be blackmailed or hurt, it was a bluff and even if he was telling the truth, he was only talking about his attachment to items, there was no mention of c!Sapnap or c!George -- and even the whole exile conflict in c!Sapnap eyes was started with the purpose of avenging c!George's house, cause c!Sapnap didn't know about c!Dream's secret motives for getting the disc. No matter how you look at this situation, c!Dream did nothing directly harmfull to c!Sapnap, except perhaps distance himself from him for which he, like, has reasons, which he will even tell them later -- he distances himself cause people target him and the things and people he cares about, that's literally a fact, as are his attachment issues.

And I would also argue that c!Sapnap is trying to get c!Dream's opinion or side of things during c!George's dethronement. I mean, what c!Dream says actually makes sense and isn't a blant manipulation or smth, no one listens to him. You can say that dethroning c!George in front of everyone wasn't his best idea and I agree with that, but he's trying to explain himself and his decision and not being evil for no reason. He says that c!Sapnap is trying to "split them apart" not because c!Sapnap asks c!George's opinion, but cause c!Sapnap mentions an event he wasn't present for, which he knows about from a third party, but doesn't know the context of c!Dream being blackmailed with Spirit's skin (which, well, would make a lot of difference, considering that not only does c!Sapnap know about c!Dream's attachment for Spirit personally, but the horse's death was partly c!Sapnap's fault and he could understand why c!Dream would react so emotionally), nor that he was ridiculed, humiliated, and threatened before that, but he still uses it as evidence that c!Dream doesn't care about them or even hates them. I wouldn't call it demonization, cause if something bad happened to me and I had an emotional outburst, and after that my friend, who wasn't there and didn't know shit about what happened, started using that as an argument for why I was a bad person or a bad friend and didn't care about them, I'd be pissed. And I also don't understand what this argument is if not ignoring c!Dream's pov and only considering c!Sapnap's feelings and reasons, which is, well, we kind of planned to avoid that. I agree that c!Dream was dismissive and his decision to make it public humiliated and upset c!George, but c!Sapnap really wasn't much better and certainly didn't try to find out c!Dream's opinion or understand him: It was more "I already got my (negative) opinion on you, confirm it so I can move on" than "let's talk about what you said yesterday, we think you are distancing yourself from us/not caring about us and we would like to discuss this" so yknow.

And I don't think the "c!Sapnap can defend himself so it was worth making him king" argument works, since we know that at that point c!Dream is already starting to get paranoid that the server might gang up on him and kill him and his reasons for dethroning c!George are literally cause c!George might get killed cause of their friendship. But then again, I don't think what c!Dream or c!Sapnap did was particularly bad. It's a fight where everyone had their own reasons for doing what they did, I get that. Although maybe I don't understand the conflict on both sides cause I personally feel like the server king position means literally nothing, but that's a topic for another day lol XD

And also, like, El Rapids committed a terrorist attack, tried to frame c!Eret for it, and take over the throne. It's not like c!Dream just attacked them for no reason, it was a response to aggression. Non-canon (I don't know how to call them) deaths are painful, but they don't have the same impact as canon ones, and it's more a matter of losing all of your items if you die too often -- c!Dream doesn't kill them multiple times or do it canonical. If we're criticizing c!Dream for these actions or for him giving Mars to c!Tommy after c!Sapnap killed Henry, then why is c!Sapnap's help in c!Dream's multiple non-canon spawn-kills in the first discs war considered "well, he started the war, so he had to help c!Tommy no matter what"? It's a bit unfair :(

And like, yeah, c!Sapnap has every right to hate c!Dream after the staged finale, but he shows no reaction to him being canonically killed three times despite c!Dream giving up and doing what they want. It's not just "he agreed to put him in prison cause that is what best to everyone": c!Sapnap didn't offer to hear him out or come up with another punishment, so I personally don't think he cares about c!Dream that much, but then again, it's not something I've ever been mad at c!Sapnap for. Just a little "oh, it's weird that he did it this way and not that way".

And even the promise didn't offended me that much, cause yes, c!Sapnap is threatening c!Dream for a reason and he has every right to be upset with him, even tho, as a c!Dream fan, I couldn't help but feel sad about c!Dream being threatened to be killed if he ever escape the place that is slowly kills him. However, if I were c!Sapnap, I would find it weird that c!Sam would ask me if "the prisoner" said anything suspicious, kill me, and go check on c!Dream when he didn't actually do anything bad during the visit. Yes, c!Sapnap doesn't know that c!Sam is actively abusing c!Dream and it's not his fault that it's happening, but additional visits or an attempt to figure out if something bad is going on would be appreciated and would show c!Sapnap's care. And I don't think telling c!George that the prison is off-limits was such a good decision: c!Dream is clearly not feeling well and asked for more visits, he even admitted that c!Sam hardly ever visits him and I think anyone can understand what complete isolation does to you, so preventing other visits seems a bit harsh, and c!George, like c!Sapnap, needs some closure or at least an answer about what's going on, and like, his decision literally didn't help anyone.

But then c!Dream escapes and c!Sapnap's actions change from a reaction to c!Dream's bad deeds to completely not caring about him and even trying to harm him. In Snowchester, c!Dream is happy to see c!Sapnap, saying that he has changed and that he escaped because he was tortured in prison. Even if c!Sapnap has no reason to believe the first statement, his complete indifference to the second is alarming. It doesn't matter whether he doesn't believe c!Dream's words about torture or doesn't care -- it's equally fucked up. c!Dream does nothing bad to c!Sapnap at that moment, does not attack. Just like you said: "he tries to agitate c!Dream so that he makes the first move" -- he provokes c!Dream into attacking him, even says c!George doesn't care about him, so he can feel less guilty for killing him and yes, it shows that c!Sapnap doesn't exactly fully hate c!Dream and it is difficult for him to commit murder, but it's definitely not a show of caring. Even after c!Sapnap shows absolutely zero care for the torture confession and even asks c!Dream about the book instead (and this is definitely a big trigger for c!Dream and his trauma, he was tortured for that thing), c!Dream just threatens him and runs away -- he does the bare minimum to stay alive and safe. And like, c!Dream doesn't follow through on his threats for months, shouldn't that be a warning sign to c!Sapnap that it was a bluff or that something is wrong? Not to mention c!Tubbo and c!Tommy notice that c!Dream is having a hard time fighting, but c!Sapnap doesn't pay attention to it, even though it should be even worse at the time? I can see why c!Sapnap might be further convinced that c!Dream is evil when c!Dream threatens Kinoko (even if it's essentially a reaction to c!Sapnap's actions) and his "am I really going to kill my own best friend" line is definitely sympathetic, but to me, it's more of "c!Sapnap being used to thinking he's c!Dream's friend" than actually caring about c!Dream, if that's make sense.

And then, I really can't feel any understanding for c!Sapnap trying to kill c!Dream without a second thought, and then agreeing to work with a god, whose intentions he doesn't know, to kill c!Dream at the cost of his own life. And isn't that just the most stupid and stubborn thing ever? c!Sapnap would be willing to kill himself and leave c!George, who is depressed, sleeping or dissociating 24/7, alone? Leave c!Karl, whose memory is getting worse, and c!Quackity alone, even with all of their problems? In fact, he says c!George might kill himself after that???? Dude, there are people there who need you, that's more important than your desire to kill cDream, calm down???? And I would understand if c!Dream was like, a terrible threat and everyone was in danger cause of the chaos he causes on the server, but c!Dream does literally nothing: doesn't try to get revenge or follow through on his threats even after a long time, doesn't try to go back to his plan to take over the entire server. Like, yeah, there's a deal with c!Tommy after c!Dream threatened him right after escaping from prison and c!Sapnap decides to help, but that's it -- after the escape, c!Dream disappears, this is another threat he hasn't carried out for months. He could literally be dead or, I don't know, actually go to a cottage far away from the great smp, and c!Sapnap will still be looking for him.

And then it gets worse cause c!Dream tells c!Foolish that c!Sapnap comes to the prison every day to threaten him and try to kill him. And like, c!Dream has no reason to lie and it's a direct logical consequence of c!Sapnap's deal with DreamXD, so it is true, and it's so senselessly cruel. It's literally daily harassment or even stalking at this point. He can't just walk in and kill c!Dream quickly and painlessly, and instead chooses to psychologically pressure him on a daily basis. I can't find any reason for this to happen, literally what's the point? c!Dream has locked himself in the place where he says he was tortured and not only doesn't harm anyone, he won't even contact anyone. Why doesn't c!Sapnap find this weird? He doesn't even think about it. Whatever harm c!Dream did to c!Sapnap, by this point c!Sapnap has already crossed that line of harm and done much more harm not even in response to c!Dream's bad deed, but simply because he feels it's justice.

And then you think about the first wars, the conversation with c!Tommy or the dethronement and even if these actions themselves could be explained by c!Sapnap's resentment and could be understood, in the big picture it just looks like he never cared about c!Dream and called him a friend... just because he was used to it? Like I don't get it, what c!Sapnap says and what he does literally contradict each other on so many levels that I'm literally sooo confused. I don't even think those actions were bad and I still think his resentment and unwillingness to listen to c!Dream was fine, I just understand why other people might see it as evidence of c!Sapnap's complete indifference. And I don't think c!Sapnap is evil or a complete idiot (although I can call some of his actions stupid at this point), but I really don't understand the complaints about people who don't like him or who prefer c!Punz or c!Techno as c!Dream's friends haha.

"The burden of fixing what remains of their friendship is on c!Dream because at the end of the day, c!Sapnap's only fault was reacting to the things c!Dream did", and I don't get it. I don't get why c!Dream, in his absolute wreck after prison and everything that happened on the server, has to be the one apologizing and fixing everything, just cause he was rude and pushed his friends away at the time while the server turned against him and his worldview was destroyed by the existence of the book. So all of c!Sapnap's threats, attempts to kill c!Dream, harassment towards him and how he only saw the worst in c!Dream are mean nothing? He shouldn't take any responsibility for it? Shouldn't he at least apologize? Seriously? I don't get it, really. I generally believe that everyone should apologize for the harm caused and that relationships are something you build, or in this case rebuild, together, not something that just one person should do because they are "more at fault" so it's their and their only burden. And this isn't just something I don't understand, but something I don't think would have ever canonically happened, even if the creators had chosen a different path and decided to end c!Sapnap and c!Dream's arc. It just doesn't feel right.

And I don't think c!Sapnap is a bad friend, I think he genuinely cares about a whole list of people, it's just that his actions really don't make me believe that c!Dream is on that list. And I mean, c!Dream isn't some supervillain, we know that, and we know that redemption won't be that hard for him -- c!Tommy literally manages to talk him out of his plan with a 15 minute conversation and c!Tommy is his enemy, if c!Sapnap, as c!Dream's stated best friend, had tried to talk to him back when he was just starting to spiraling and distancing himself from his friends, a lot of the bad stuff wouldn't have happened. How can c!Dream repair what's left of their friendship if c!Sapnap doesn't think c!Dream can be a better person or even see any good in him? Like, most of my comments towards him are pretty identical at their core: something happens to c!Dream and c!Sapnap doesn't take the time to find out what it is, just accepts the first explanation, accepts other people's explanations but not c!Dream's, accepts literally anything so he wouldn't have to think about it and then he doesn't think about it, doesn't pay attention, just acts careless. And I don't think it's bad to not think about it, it's just that if my friend started to distance himself and do questionable things, I wouldn't just watch and put up with it, cause I care about my friend and will put in as much effort as possible to find out what the problem is so we solve it. And with other people in his life, c!Sapnap thinks about it and tries to help, but not with c!Dream -- like that time he thought for no real reason that c!Dream blew up El Rapids for no real reasons and only became interested in the said reasons when it turned out that c!Quackity was the one who actually did it and not c!Dream. And yeah, again, c!Sapnap had the right to be upset and not do what I described, he just doesn't have to, really, but it's like, yeah, I get why people thinks they're not friends -- c!Sapnap just doesn't do the things that caring friends usually have an easy time doing and that's okay, no complaints, really.

So I really don't understand why my community has been reduced to the level of inniters simply cause some of us don't like c!Sapnap that much or think he's a bad friend. On one hand we have "I refuse to understand this character, so he's one-dimensional evil mastermind and [all the bad things in the world] and if you like him then you're an abuse apologist", and on the other hand we have "well, this character doesn't seem like the best friend to my fave and his actions seem somewhat stupid and illogical, and overall he's kind of stubborn lol" -- like, this is incomparable, sorry.

And on a higher note, I ended up writing a lot more than I wanted to, so I guess this topic hit me really hard lol. Anyway, I appreciate your opinion and I don't think you're totally wrong or anything, no negativity, I promise. Your post was really interesting to read and it made me change my mind in some things and feel free to correct me :)

tbh I have never seen any cdream apologists call csapnap evil, rather I often see them calling him a stubborn dumbass🤷🏻

I've seen all of the above and not only on dreblr. However, even the take that Sapnap is stubborn or stupid in some way for wanting Dream locked up, or for any other reason is simply incorrect.

A lot of you fail to understand that Sapnap has every reason to dislike Dream and want him out of the way. Dream has personally hurt Sapnap. And people comparing his takes on Dream's imprisonment to those who have NEVER been effected by or even seen the effects of Dream's behavior is unfair.

And of course, as I'm saying this, know I'm not talking about every dream apologist. There are definitely outliers and exceptions to every rule. If this doesn't apply to you or the things you've personally seen that's fine! But there are people who think this way and this post is mostly directed towards them.

Now, from what I've seen, a lot of people don't understand Sapnap's relationship with Dream towards the end of the smp, so let me explain. Sapnap and Dream have never seen eye to eye on really... anything. George has always been a follower, but Sapnap does his own thing. There are times where Sapnap is on Dream's side just out of obligation the L'manberg war is a good example because Sapnap had no issues with L'manberg's creation until Dream did. There's also doomsday, since Sapnap felt wrong going against Dream and his allyship had to be bought by Tommy using Mars. Sapnap goes against Dream directly during the disc war because he technically caused it and therefore felt obligated to help Tommy, since they're also friends.

A lot of people don't know that Tommy and Sapnap have been pretty close friends since the beginning. Out of the Dream Team, Sapnap is actually the only one to not have a hatred for Tommy or his behavior. There was a time or two when he parroted George or Dream's opinions but it's obvious from the beginning that Sapnap feels differently than them about Tommy, L'manberg, and nations in general.

Saying all that to make the point that: Sapnap's disagreement with and fallout with Dream didn't come out of nowhere. Him going to Tommy to ask if he thought Dream actually cared about him wasn't random. He didn't just go up to an enemy and ask their opinion, Tommy is a friend. A friend who also knows Dream well. So when Tommy tells Sapnap that Dream doesn't care about him after the whole Spirit speech, he's obligated to believe him.

And now you're probably saying "Well Sapnap should've just talked to Dream about it." And he does. During the dethronement fallout. During this, Sapnap brings it up in front of Dream and George and Dream is simply dismissive. And he uses all his effort to convince George that he cares all while demonizing Sapnap and claiming he's trying to "split them apart" just for asking George for her feelings and opinions. Sapnap obviously doesn't like the way George or himself is being treated in that moment and it shows. As they're going back to El Rapids, Sapnap even says that he feels left behind by Dream. He feels that Dream is taking power and cutting both him and George out of it. And he absolutely is. When George is crowned king, Dream explicitly says that if anything were to happen to George then Sapnap is next in line for the throne. Yet Sapnap doesn't get the throne.

And now you may claim that "Dream wouldn't make Sapnap king because he doesn't want Sapnap to be targeted like George was." or "Sapnap has a nation, he can't get the kingship" and to that I say, Sapnap can protect himself, unlike George and Dream knows that. George was also king and sitting VP of Manberg at the same time, so Sapnap being part of El Rapids wouldn't have meant he couldn't be crowned. Sapnap wasn't crowned because Dream didn't want him to be. That's all.

Now moving past the dethronement, we can also talk about how Dream killed Quackity, hunted down and tried to kill George, and threatened to kill all of El Rapids (including Sapnap) into the mix. Then you can factor in how after all that, Sapnap still found it weird to go against Dream during doomsday (even despite his fiancés being on L'manbergs side) or lets not speak on the fact dream gave mars to tommy during the pet war.

Then you get to the stage conflict, and really this was the nail in the coffin. Had this only been a rescue mission for clingyduo maybe, just maybe, Sapnap wouldn't have been ok with keeping Dream in the prison. But that isn't the case. Because Dream had to (in Sapnap's eyes, he doesn't know things were staged) once again put power above Sapnap and most importantly George. People like to pretend that they were unaffected, especially saying that Dream had nothing of George's, but that isn't true. In that possession vault, Dream had Beckerson and a place for Mars.

You guys don't seem to understand how devastating this is for Sapnap. Those fish were a symbol of not only the earliest days of the smp, but also symbols of Dream Team's friendship. Beckerson was Dream and George's fish. Beckerson was George's fish. And if there's one thing Sapnap cares about protecting it's George. It's the reason Sapnap doesn't tell George about the things Dream does, and why he seemingly doesn't tell George that the prison allows visitors after Dream specifically requests to see her. Sapnap cares about George above anything and everything on that server. And he was fooled to believe that Dream, his best friend Dream, would've used their fish to try and control her. That's a problem. That's a problem that needs to be detained.

And yes Sapnap believes things aren't going well in the prison for Dream. He thinks he's getting worse, but the only proof of that he's seen is that he wouldn't talk. Dream going mute is in no means worse than Dream getting out and hurting everyone and everything Sapnap cares about. Dream is Sapnap's friend but he does not hold that friendship above everything else he has. Especially since, in Sapnap's eyes, that friendship has been onesided for a long long time.

And this doesn't even mention that after all this, Sapnap still hears Dream out after his escape. He could've easily killed Dream in Snowchester, but instead he lets him talk. He stalls. He tries to agitate Dream so that he makes the first move. Because Sapnap doesn't have the heart to actually lay him down. And while Sapnap immediately tries to kill Dream with the deathbook, Dream dying somewhere random where Sapnap doesn't have to see is much much easier than killing him himself. Something he feels obligated to do just for aiding Dream in getting as bad as he was. After he learns he can't kill Dream he starts daydreaming about how much of a power duo they'd be as a team. Because deep down he still sees them as a team.

And they would be if they communicated better. They would be if Dream saw them as equals. They would be if Dream hadn't put those damn fish in his vault. The burden of fixing what remains of their friendship is on Dream because at the end of the day, Sapnap's only fault was reacting to the things Dream did.

So when I see Dream apologists calling Sapnap stubborn, or stupid, or a bad friend, or a sociopath. I consider that a horrid take, because all Sapnap has done ever is care for his friends. And I won't see Sapnap made out to be the bad guy in Dreamnap's relationship because no matter how you bend it, he isn't. And the fact that a good few of you villainize him and George when it comes to Dream team's relationship ending shows that you ignore the povs of other characters just as much as Tommy apologists ignore the pov of Dream. If you want to blame everyone involved, then do that, but make sure the weight is on Dream. And that's just how I feel about this subject.

Sorry about the rant anon but I do not play about c!Dteams relationship and this has been boiling in my brain for a while. amen.

[simplepotatofarmer]

technoblade: a takedown - pt. 1

(not clickbait)

aka i go over every argument people make against c!techno one by one and determine whether they’re valid, false, or a mixture of both. i rewatched every single stream/video, including those on his alt channel, so i could approach this with the most information possible. i’ll be breaking this up into parts because there’s just too much otherwise. all about the characters unless stated.

techno believes in a ‘dog eat dog’ world - false

this is an argument i see used a lot when people discuss techno so i wanted to address it first. luckily, the stream in which he says this is only his fifth stream on the server. there’s one major reason why this argument falls apart and one minor reason that isn’t objective like the first.

first and most importantly: techno has never acted on this. even at the beginning - which is when this comment was made - he was helping his allies, from building railings to keep them from falling, making a potato farm, and all the gear he grinded for to equip his allies in pogtopia with. moving forward, he’s also helped out plenty of people: giving tommy a place to stay and items, telling phil to reach out to ranboo after doomsday, as well as giving both tommy and ranboo food when asked. there’s more, of course, but the point is he’s never once followed up on this statement. he teamed up with quackity to stop the egg. he spoke to niki about how he was giving anarchy a bad reputation because of the violence and wanted to take a different approach which he has.

when people use this argument to insist that techno is the villain, it doesn’t hold up because it’s merely taking one statement he made and upholding it as a main part of his character when his actions and later statements have shown that he doesn’t actually believe in this randian view point. objectively, i can’t see how this argument can extend beyond ‘well, he said it’. regardless of what he said during the pogtopia arc, he’s said the opposite later - wanting everyone to live free with no oppression or imperialism - and has never acted on it nor brought it up later. this take honestly seems disingenuous and was in fact the driving factor of this post.

second and not as critical, techno mentions multiple times during each of his first streams that he’s not sure who all is on his side. this is a reoccurring point for him. he makes the comment about wanting a dog eat dog world during the red festival stream, while speaking to bad and sam. the first part of the conversation is techno asking about state secrets since they’re (as far as techno knows) on manberg’s side. bad mentions schlatt killing cats and techno launches into a spiel about massive anarchy and the weak being huddled in fear, asking them how does that sound. bad says as long as there’s no cat murder, perhaps. bad then asks techno what his ‘single issue’ is and techno responds that he wants to destroy the government. to me, the context of the conversation, who he’s speaking to and what his opinion of those people is, is an important thing to consider.

techno’s ‘we’ll burn that bridge when we get to it’ comment means he was always going to betray pogtopia/l’manberg - valid but not how you think it is

i’ve seen people say that techno saying ‘we’ll burn that bridge when we get to it’ is a clear sign that he was always intending to betray pogtopia/l’manberg which, yeah? 

but i wouldn’t call it a betrayal. 

he says the ‘we’ll burn that bridge when we get to it’ line at the end of the ‘eve of revolution’ stream while he’s talking to quackity, ponk, and sam. the conversation is as follows:

techno, to quackity: i’m glad we could get to know each other. i heard you’re on our side now. i heard you betrayed schlatt.

quackity: yeah, that’s right. are you betraying anyone?

techno: no. i would never betray my personal ideals.

[some chatter from ponk and quackity]

sam: what does that mean? what if the people you’re fighting along [sic] have different ideals than you, though? doesn’t that mean you’d betray them?

techno: listen... we’ll burn that bridge when we get to it.

then techno states that he ‘said what he said’ when sam questions him about his choice of metaphor.

he actually uses the same malaphor at the beginning of the ‘revolution’ stream when they (quackity and tubbo) question him again and in that case techno definitely avoids the subject which isn’t a good thing but considering everyone was so worked up about the possible traitor, i can completely understand.

overall, techno is extremely upfront about his intentions. yes, there is definitely some miscommunication between all the parties because none of them were on the same page but that doesn’t make techno the bad guy here nor does it mean he betrayed anyone. he was upfront about his intentions from the start.

in his first two streams, he makes a joke that if they happen to set up a new government/president that he would just take that one down and it would be a never-ending cycle. over and over, he says that he wants to do destroy the government/manberg. when tommy mentions taking it back, techno says, ‘what do you mean, take it back?’ though this kind of gets lost in the middle of everything else - dsmp (lack of) communication strikes again. 

the takeaway that i see here a lot is that techno always intended to betray them because he knew tommy wanted to take back l’manberg and knew that he would go against them if they set up a new government. and this is true to an extent! he did know that tommy wanted l’manberg back and he did know that he would go against them if they set up a new government. but wilbur was also telling techno that he was on board with the whole anarchy thing. 

none of them were on the same page and that surely led to a big chunk of what happened and hurt feelings on both sides but that doesn’t mean techno betrayed anyone or that he was the bad guy for doing exactly what he said he would do from day one.

techno destroying (l’)manberg was wrong - it’s complicated

the first thing to address here is that for most anarchists, destroying a government isn’t a bad thing. in fact, taking down the government/state is basically our goal. now, i don’t speak for all anarchists, of course, but overall the general feeling is that violence in the name of overthrowing an oppressive government is not inherently bad. there’s no way to do a one-for-one here because it’s minecraft but the general sentiment remains. so while violence enacted against the state is a bad thing for people who aren’t anarchists, techno has no reason to and would not view it as inherently bad.  

but it did hurt people and techno himself acknowledges that fact. he’s acknowledged what he’s done when confronted about it. he hasn’t said he was wrong because understanding that it was hurtful doesn’t mean he believes he was wrong. to him, he wasn’t. destroying what he viewed as an oppressive system was the right thing to do, even if it hurt people.

(also this isn’t any kind of meta but i think it needs to be pointed out that wilbur had already set off the tnt and techno summoned two killable mobs which did plenty of damage but he didn’t say wilbur was the great who came before them for no reason.)

again, this is going to be the most controversial part of this post because i don’t believe destroying government is a bad thing and i don’t believe techno is wrong for believing that as well. there are better ways to address the problem and techno is adjusting his tactics but if another government was to be established, i don’t believe he would be in the wrong to destroy it because he’s an anarchist.

the tl;dr of this section honestly could just be summed up with ‘watch less marvel, read more ursula k. le guin’.

‘techno is the villain because he called tommy the hero’ - so very false 

this is a take i’ve seen that to this day i don’t understand.

techno calling tommy the hero does not mean he was setting himself up as the villain in any capacity. it was merely pointing out tommy’s habit of putting himself at the forefront of almost every conflict, trying to shoulder everything, no matter how it hurts tommy himself. the speech was directed at that and nothing else. it doesn’t mean techno is the villain, it doesn’t even mean there is a villain; there are more stories to be told than the classic hero-villain and the hero-villain narrative doesn’t always apply to stories. (i’d certainly argue that it doesn’t apply to the dream smp but that’s a different conversation.)

techno is to blame for tubbo’s death - false

i think this one has been done to death but what would a techno post be without it?

no, techno is not to blame.

he said over and over that he was outnumbered and believed that if he had done anything, everyone would’ve turned on him and ‘torn him to shreds’. even if that wasn’t the case, it is what techno believed. he had no reason to think that he could take the entire crowd out until he actually fired the rocket launcher. and remember, he tested the rocket launcher earlier during the festival on niki (who volunteered) and it didn’t kill her. when he realized the amount of splash damage it did, he gives a surprised laugh and then begins firing into the crowd. 

as for saying he was under ‘mild’ amounts of peer pressure, techno has a habit of minimizing. not just the things he’s done, but often situations that he’s been in that were stressful. he stated that he deals poorly with high stress situations and one of the cognitive distortions that can come with anxiety is minimization. techno doesn’t actually believe it was ‘mild’ peer pressure - it was a situation that caused him enough distress that he brings it up later at doomsday - but it’s easier to deal with a situation when you downplay it, it’s easier for techno to keep up that calm façade when he’s acting as if whatever happened wasn’t that big of a deal even if it was. again, the way he speaks about it on doomsday was clearly upset and emotional. 

the only person to blame for tubbo’s death is schlatt. he was the one pulling the trigger and techno was the gun.

if you made it this far, thank you for sticking it out! i spent so many hours rewatching all the streams, some of them multiple times, while taking notes to be able to do this. i’m extremely passionate about techno and i feel as if a lot of the arguments against him tend to miss the nuance of his character. this project is on-going and i’ll be going over the butcher army/retirement storylines next. feel free to submit any points you’d like to see addressed! 

[memryse]

hello tumblr i present my canon-compliant "DSMP But... Everybody Discovered Large-Scale Organised Religion" mianite au which took a few hours to write up oops. basically here is a list of which god everybody would follow and why, based on canon events (i have therefore left out a couple of the members who don't really do lore or be on the server much because i definitely don't know about them enough to be accurate!)

dream: mianite. obsessed with control, you get it. went too far though and developed his own obsession with controlling the server so he is now godless and in jail

tommy: dianite. tommy is a favourite of dianite's - he's idealistic with a penchant for chaos, and like i said in my other post dianite probably sees himself in tommy a little. they're both misunderstood as Bad People

tubbo: ianite -> dianite, he converts post-doomsday. grew up as a follower of ianite and trying to follow her path put added pressure on him during his presidency. embraces being a dianitee with the start of the nuke program, but he keeps all his ianitee family heirlooms. ianite still holds a soft spot for him because of his family and occasionally gives him minor blessings. that being said she's of course a little disappointed he chose to change gods, but respects his decision

ranboo: no god, but enderwalk ranboo is an acolyte of ianite; awakeboo eventually converts to ianite when he reads awakeboo's note and decides to become more active in conflict resolution. he realises ianite actually aligns with his newfound ideals, and is of course more in touch with his ender side. however prior to this he wasn't really very keen on worshipping any gods, seeing as all he saw from them was wars waged in their names.

wilbur: also an atheist. probably prayed to dianite during pogtopia ("dream, i want to be your vassal" type beat) but other than that he's the type to criticise organised religion and be an independent leader, no need for gods. wilbur and ranboo narrative foils my beloveds!!!

techno: ianite. the thing about c!techno is he has one goal and he will stick to that no matter what - it's not total order, but it's not chaos either because there is motivation and reasoning behind it. also, a core tenet of ianitee ideology is not involving yourself in conflict until somebody personally wrongs you. much like butcher army era techno where he retreats to a peaceful (more godly, in this case) life until he's hunted down, at which point he Fucks Shit Up. in general techno holds grudges and takes even slight betrayals very seriously.

phil: ianite. i can see antarctic duo as former warriors of ianite! idk i don't have much to say phil is just.. a chill old warrior. probably jaded and tired of fighting wars for his goddess, but he still prays to her. specifically he prayed every night that wilbur could finally find balance in the afterlife. :)

niki: also ianite. definitely. niki values her own beliefs and morals, she's her own independent self. maybe she was a mianitee pre-nov 16th, but not since then. this makes the syndicate pretty much just a secret squad of ianitees (+ ranboo who everyone kind of just assumes is an ianitee given that, yknow, enderman). this is extra fun with the syndicate table being an end portal

sam: mianite 10000000%. he puts his commitment to duty above all else. not really much more to say he is just fully committed to keeping the server safe by carrying out mianite's will and imprisoning dream.

foolish: he's a god himself, so he doesn't follow any of the main three. however in the past he did work with mianite, enforcing his control over the land. from what we know about his totem of death period it wasn't like.. wanton destruction, it was him seeking control through violence, so i'm not inclined to say he worked with dianite back then.

george: man just wants to sleep and farm wheat, he's mianite. ez.

sapnap: also mianite. dream team as mianite's strongest and most revered knights!!!!!!

puffy: she's a pirate lady i don't know what to tell you other than she was part of capsize's crew. ianitee pirate ladies i care you. plus i feel like puffy centres mostly on people and not allying herself with specific nations or causes, she believes in balance above all.

eret: i view the greater dsmp as a mianitee nation, so as king of it they obviously have to follow mianite. eret has always strove to be a good king and help their nation prosper. plus, who knows what went on in the past with foolish. former mianite warriors eternal duo? i think so! (i think it would be cool if a literal reincarnation of herobrine was a mianitee purely because it fucks with everybody's expectations)

quackity: dianite. not just because he's chaos incarnate at times but like his entire current arc is so reminiscent of the fact that s2 dianite was literally a businessman. rip ghost dianite you would've loved c!quackity

fundy: oh boy here's a complex one. fundy switches gods frequently - look how much he craves acceptance from authority figures, from a substitute parental figure. i think right now his prophetic dreams could be interpreted as him being chosen by a certain god who sees potential in him, but i can't say who bc we don't really know too much about them or even why he's suddenly having them. that being said his chaotic scamming foxboy side definitely embodies dianite and he should have stuck with dianite the entire time but nah he needs Validation

jack manifold: follows dianite, but dianite isn't really pleased with him trying to kill tommy so often (seeing as he likes tommy). this is why he has such comically bad luck. his god is continually fucking with him.

karl: ianite, specifically chosen by her to become the historian of the server. the purple theme.. the duty to write down history as it truly happened (as opposed to censoring history like a certain mianite did). the existence of both the in between and the other side. karl Is balance. thank you. (also this makes karlnapity's marriage one mianitee, one ianitee and one dianitee. diversity win!)

schlatt: mianite (derogatory)

the eggpire is pretty much just the darkness isn't it. mianite was the blueprint actually.

bbh: dianite at first, judging by the badlands' ideology. corrupted by the darkness though.

antfrost: also dianite, but probably really lowkey about it and only ever prayed when the badlands needed his blessings. again, corrupted now

hannah: mianite - her connection to nature is by extension also a connection to mianite, the god of the overworld. plus she cared about maintaining harmony on the server and went to lengths to ensure it like the whole "killing her own dogs to protect them" thing. currently on her corrupted girlboss arc though

punz: dianite, he likes money and killing people idk what more you expect from me. even after joining the eggpire this has not changed at all. he'll work for other gods' followers for the right price but he's not changing his core beliefs

ponk: i don't know very much about him i'm ngl, especially not pre-eggpire. prior to his corruption though i do kinda like the idea of a mianitee doctor doing fucked up little experiments idk he just has mianitee vibes to me in the same way tucker was a mianitee.

skeppy: he and bbh are obviously both dianite together prior to the egg. it simply would not be right of me to put him anywhere else.

purpled: ianite. the colour purple... the tendency to stay so far out of conflict that he doesn't even log onto the server... mans was born to be an ianitee actually

[mikauzoran]

Lukadrien: Your Hands Hold Home: Chapter Eight

@lukadrien-june

Read it on AO3: Your Hands Hold Home: Chapter Eight: Guitar Lessons

Luka found Adrien in the main cabin, slowly playing through the principal melody of Merry-Go-Round of Life from Howl’s Moving Castle on one of Luka’s acoustic guitars.

He paused at the bottom of the stairs to listen and watched, entranced, as Adrien’s hands gracefully shifted into position, his fingers dancing eloquently over the strings.

The playing itself was still hesitant due to Adrien’s lack of confidence, but the notes rang true as Adrien carefully played each chord.

“I didn’t hear you come in,” Adrien remarked a bit breathily when he finally noticed Luka’s presence.

Luka blinked out of his trance at Adrien’s words. “Sorry for eavesdropping.”

“It’s fine. I mean, I’m in the common area.” Adrien stood and nodded guiltily towards the guitar. “I hope you don’t mind me helping myself. You said I could practice whenever I liked, and I kind of took you at your word.”

“It’s not a problem,” Luka assured, coming around to Adrien’s side of the couch and taking a seat, gesturing for Adrien to do the same. “I was serious, so, please, go for it.”

“All right,” Adrien chuckled self-consciously even as his nerves started to fade. “I will. Thank you.”

He retook his seat next to Luka and tipped his head at the guitar again. “I’m having a little trouble with F still. Could you show me again, please?”

He looked down sheepishly at the instrument, his cheeks taking on a soft, peony pink hue. “I’m sorry. I know you’ve shown me a dozen times already.”

“It’s okay,” Luka replied earnestly, scooting in closer. “It’s kind of tricky, so no worries. If it helps, it sounded fine when you played it a minute ago, so I think you’re already doing it right in practice.”

Gingerly, he took Adrien’s hand and placed each finger individually.

Adrien tried not to let show how the small contact made him melt on the inside.

He felt awful using learning guitar—something that was practically sacred to Luka—as a means to steal little intimacies…and yet, he did it over and over again. He couldn’t get enough of Luka’s attentions.

“There you go,” Luka proclaimed, giving Adrien a reassuring smile.

Adrien tried to return it, but it came out strained.

Luka was so close, and Adrien felt hyperaware of every move Luka made.

He mentally cursed himself for being so needy.

His therapist had told him that it was okay and natural even for him to be touch-starved, given his circumstances, but Adrien couldn’t help the instinctive guilt and shame that welled up whenever he felt the urge to throw himself at Luka and beg to be petted.

“You’re doing really well with the guitar.” Luka heaped flattery onto praise, making Adrien giddy.

“You really think so?” he pressed, hoping for more validation.

It was so easy to get the things he wanted out of Luka compared with how Adrien had struggled in vain for years to get acceptance, acknowledgement, and affection from his father.

Adrien briefly noted that it felt more than a little messed up to use Luka to resolve long-standing daddy issues.

“Absolutely,” Luka confirmed, oblivious to Adrien’s mental conflict. “You’ve come a long way with the guitar these past two weeks. You’re picking it up quickly.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Adrien chuckled, rubbing at the back of his neck. “I bet you’d pick up piano faster than I’m progressing with guitar. You’re the real musical genius here.”

Luka rolled his eyes. “I’ll take that bet.”

Adrien blinked. “What?”

Luka took Adrien by the hand and gently tugged him over to the keyboard in the corner, demanding, “Teach me.”

Adrien broke out in a laugh. “I’m afraid I’m not really equal to the task. I don’t know the first thing about teaching.”

Luka shrugged, waving away Adrien’s protest. “Start by showing me how to position my hands?”

Instantly, Adrien realized the benefits of playing piano instructor: more legitimate excuses for touching.

“Like this.” Adrien demonstrated and then helped to curve Luka’s fingers into the proper shape. “You want to keep your fingers rounded. Like, if you were sitting and you put your hands on your knees, you want that kind of curve. It helps keep your touch light so you can move your hands more quickly.”

“Got it,” Luka confirmed as he practiced rounding his hands. “So, now that I’ve got that down, care to show me around the keyboard?”

Adrien nodded, reaching out and playing a single note.

“Middle C,” he announced, looking at Luka with a warm grin. “Whenever you get lost or confused, just come back here. If you can find middle C, you’ll be able to find your way again from there.”

Luka reached out and pressed the key several times, letting the sound fill the room like the knelling of a bell.

“…It’s a lot like you,” Adrien confessed softly, looking down at Luka’s hand.

“Yeah?” Luka hummed.

Adrien nodded. “You’re…you’re my middle C.”

Luka paused to stare at Adrien, but Adrien kept his gaze fixed determinedly down.

“Whenever I’m feeling lost and trying to figure things out, if I go to you, you always let me use you as a sounding board and give me advice, and I always manage to find my way again.”

Adrien peeked up at Luka to gauge his reaction and found him wearing a smile full of affection.

“I’m glad you feel that way,” Luka replied. “I’m always happy to be there for you, and I’m glad I’ve been able to help in the past.”

“You’re helping even now,” Adrien chuckled. “I seriously don’t know where I’d be right now without you.”

Luka slowly shook his head. “You have other people who care about you. I’m not the only thing standing between you and obliteration…. Still. I’m really happy that you think I’ve made a difference.”

“You’re indispensable,” Adrien stressed, reaching out and playing the middle C again.

An impish quality snuck into Luka’s smile. “…So…if I’m C…does that make you a G?”

Adrien’s head tipped to the side.

Luka grinned and played an open fifth—the middle C and the G a perfect fifth above it.

A pleased smirk gradually spread across Adrien’s lips. “I mean…I am your Perfect Fifth, aren’t I?”

“That you are,” Luka affirmed, playing the open fifth again.

Adrien moved his hand an octave above Luka’s and played the C and the G there.

The ringing quality of the notes sent shivers down both of their spines.

“They sound good together,” Adrien whispered wistfully, wondering if he and Luka would work equally well in concert.

“I’ve always loved the sound of open fifths,” Luka remarked softly, wondering the exact same thing. “It’s not major or minor…. It’s full of possibilities.”

They sat with that observation for a long, pensive stretch.

Mentally, Adrien chastised himself for being such a starry-eyed romantic.

He pasted on a neutral, unreadable smile and suggested, “Shall I show you a scale?”

[square-blunt]

I have a history quiz due on Sunday, why am I writing this character analysis of a sixteen-year-old minecraft streamer for fun-

I am hyper-fixating on the Dream smp. This has caused many problems for me. I have been in the fandom for a semi-short amount of time, since Tommy’s exile, but I was immediately attached to him, because of the arc he was in and the relationship with c!Dream. I was amazed at how much he actually went through because I only had a quick rundown from a friend. And this ‘much’, I think, actually validates the many ‘controversial’ choices that Tommy has been forced to make. Keep in mind that a lot of these choices that Tommy made were unwilling- and sometimes both of the options have very big consequences. My name is Nix, I kin the gremlin child, and thank you for coming to my very biased ted talk. Essays are just scholarly rants, and I will now rant about this angsty block gremlin child.

I feel like we forget that he is a child. I feel like those who criticize c!Tommy forget that he’s a literal child. He is 16. And he has already been through an unspeakable amount of trauma. It’s almost sickening, the fact that a lot of these adults know what Tommy’s been through, they know that he’s a kid, and yet they treat him like an adult, and they expect him to act like an adult and punish him when he doesn’t. They expect him to make choices like an adult like he hasn’t been traumatized like he hasn’t been through literal wars, saw his best friend get blown up by his brother, had his other brother blow up the country, had his father kill that brother, and then get emotionally manipulated into isolation until he almost fucking killed himself, and then that first brother and his father blew up the same country again with the guy that emotionally manipulated him into almost killing himself. He is still a child. And the adults of the server seem to fucking forget that. Puffy is one of the only people to stand up for him, and yet no one listens to her. Big fucking surprise. But she stands up for him still, because she understands the fact that Tommy is a child and he should not be expected to act like an adult. She understands this. And no one else seems to. Ghostbur treats him well, but that’s because Ghostbur treats everyone well. I’m not saying that everyone should treat Tommy nicely because he is traumatized, what I am saying is that they have no excuse to treat him like shit. These adults should treat him nicely because they should be decent human beings (Or piglin hybrids or half-enderman or furries or whatever else). They shouldn’t be fucking assholes to Tommy especially because he’s been hurt by assholes almost all his life (on the server, I mean). They should be nice to everyone, but especially to Tommy because he’s been hurt so much. The people who believe that Tommy should ‘learn a lesson’ (cough cough Philza) and try and ‘teach’ that lesson through violence (COUGH COUGH PHILZA [and technoblade but like, techno’s an enigma that I’ll talk about later]), like, it’s not gonna work! It hasn’t worked the ten million other times they’ve tried before! Like fucking jesus the kid already lost his disks and his country and half of his family, what more lessons can you teach? Like yeah. Tommy, he has fucked up in the past. He’s made mistakes. But I personally believe that he’s been held more than accountable for all of them. Stop. Using. Violence. To. Try. And. Teach. Tommy. A. ‘Lesson’. 

Most of this does stem from c!Dream and his iron grip on the serve, and I am a firm fucking believer that he was the one to blow up the community house with the sole purpose of framing Tommy. Because that is something Tommy would do. Because he's ‘grown up’ in an environment where the only way to work through your issues is to blow shit up. Tommy knows that there are other ways, but every time there has been a conflict, violence seems to be the only way out. And it is perfectly in line with Dream’s character to know that and use that against Tommy. I think Dream also knew that Tommy would end up going back to Tubbo in the end, too. That’s another thing, I don’t think Tommy betrayed Techno. Like, yeah, Tommy left him, but he didn’t betray Techno in the normal sense of the phrase. One stream before that, Techno legit said “Oh I’ve just been using you as a pawn for my own personal gain up until now but y’know now I actually don’t physically want to kill you so good job I guess. By the way, I’m blowing up everything and killing everyone you’ve ever loved whether you like it or not. You don’t have to help me, you can just let it happen and sit it out I’m cool with that-” LIKE BITCH EXCUSE ME? Tommy has given up two lives, his disks, he’s been exiled twice, his country has been blown up twice (by that point)- and now Techno is telling him that he’s gonna blow it up again? Because you people seem to forget, Techno blew up Tubbo first. Techno. Shot. First. Sure the butcher army didn’t have to go after him when he went into retirement, but Techno shot first intending to kill Tubbo, did that, got away with it other than Tommy yelling at him right after it, and then worked with Dream to spawn withers and blow it up after they killed Schlatt. Sure, Techno gave them gear. But during that, whether he was knowingly contributing or not, Dream was corrupting Wilbur and Techno was contributing. Once again, knowingly or not, he was still doing that. And Tommy realized this. Tommy cares about L’Manburg. He cares about Tubbo. He cares about Wilbur. And Techno hurt all of them. Tommy didn’t forget that. And yeah, Techno stood for Tommy during that whole ‘this guy’s with me’ thing, but like, Techno still offered to hand Tommy over for the favor. Techno could have kept his mouth shut. But Techno still saw Tommy as somewhat of a pawn for his own personal end- blowing up L’Manburg. He said, ‘Oh we’ll get your disks, Tommy, don’t worry, but you know I’m gonna just gonna side with the guy who isolated you from everyone you ever cared about first to blow up one of the only things you have left of Wilbur but you know, government bad, they took everything from me, don’t mind the fact that I killed your best friend and blew everything up no it’s all their fault-’ Techno saw Tommy as an opportunity. Techno didn’t care about Tommy’s well-being, until maybe the day before but even then. (Yes, I know about the ax and Ranboo giving it to Techno and all that bullshit and how he’s hesitant to let anyone in bc everyone has ‘betrayed’ him but he said. To Tommy. Directly. That he was simply using him for his own personal gain). At least Tommy was open about what he actually wanted.

The disks, I feel like, are more than just disks. They represent all the sacrifices that Tommy’ ever made for L’Manburg. Notice how, yeah Tommy wanted the disks back when he had L’Manburg, but that ‘I-want-my-disks-back’ arc really picked up when he was in exile/when L’manburg was taken from him. L’Manburg and the disks are interchangeable. If Tommy has L’Manburg, he doesn’t have the disks. If Tommy doesn’t have L’Manburg, he wants the disks back. And he’s said this from the start. That’s why he gave the presidency to Tubbo was because he knew that he would be a bad president. He wanted his disks back. That want has always been there. But notice that when Tommy gets to Snowchester, he says to Tubbo “I want the disks back.” Not ‘I want L’Manburg back’. Tommy wants the disks. He knows he’s lost L’Manburg, (even tho L’Manburg is the bond between him, Tubbo, and Alive/Ghostbur but that’s a rant for a later date) so maybe he can get his disks back. One thing I should touch on is Tommy’s struggle between choosing his disks and choosing people. Don’t get me wrong, I know that if it came down to Tubbo or the disks, he’d choose Tubbo, but in little things. Like when Tubbo invited him to stay in Snowchester, Tommy didn’t respond but instead asked for his help in getting the disks. Tommy has trouble getting his priorities straight in minor things. I think that’s why Tubbo is such a good fit for Tommy. Tubbo knows that Tommy would choose him over the disks if it came down to it, and Tubbo understands what Tommy has gone through, and Tubbo understands that even when Tommy can get a little too fixated on the disks, he will still put his friends first. That’s what the others don’t get. That’s why, I think, Tommy told Tubbo to give Dream the disks on the 5th. Because Tommy realized that by saying “The disks were worth more than you ever were” he is putting the disks above Tubbo- he’s putting himself above Tubbo. And this ties back into the emotional trauma that Dream inflicted on him, he was told that Tubbo didn’t care about him, that no one cared about him, and Tommy wanted to not be that. Tommy wants to care about people, and because Dream had invalidated what care was shown to Tommy, he believes that that is the bare minimum. He believes that ‘being kind to other people’ is the norm, especially considering the way he was treated before the exile. Dream has made it so, that in Tommy’s mind, the only way to show someone you care about them is to put them above yourself. So by saying that the disks matter more than Tubbo, Tommy is putting his own needs above Tubbo, and therefore, he doesn’t care about Tubbo anymore. And he still cares about Tubbo despite Dreams, and Techno’s, best efforts. He felt that the only way to apologize is to give up what he wanted, to make sure that Tubbo knows that Tommy does actually care about him. Granted this could have completely backfired. Tubbo could have seen that as, ‘If the disks are worth more than me, and Tommy’s giving up the disks like they’re worth nothing, then what am I worth to him?’ but thankful Tubbo knows that Tommy didn’t mean it. Because Tubbo knows Tommy for who he really is when he’s not hurting, or manipulated- when Tommy is Tommy. Not Techno’s sidekick. Not under Dream’s influence. And Tommy knows Tubbo knows.

This is why, in the end, Tommy was always meant to side with Tubbo. Because Tubbo and Tommy have cared about each other from the start, meanwhile Tommy went to Techno at his lowest, and Techno, for the most part, was using him for his own personal gain. Tommy knows that he wasn’t himself, too. When Tommy offers for Tubbo to move in with him, Tommy was doing that as a sign of ‘Hey, I’m trying to heal, I know I’m fucked up, and I need you to help me.’ Tommy is trying to heal. Tubbo, and Puffy, and Ghostbur (Maybe Wilbur will, too) are trying to help him heal. (Ghostbur less so, only because I don’t think he has a proper grasp of how much Tommy has been put through, but he’s trying his best and I love him for it) And maybe, the other adults on the server will start acting like adults and quit expecting Tommy to be one. Tommy is a threat- to Dream. Dream knows that Tommy is the main protagonist, and he knows that Tommy can take him down. He’s tried to turn everyone against him, and it was working for a while. But maybe the others will understand what Tommy’s (and tubbo, of course, but I’m gonna give Tubbo an essay of his own later) been put through, all the choices he’s been forced to make- with all options being not very good, and actually try and help to take Dream down. Because Tommy does want his disks back, but he also wants to make sure that Dream won’t hurt anyone ever again. The disks would just be a plus. I’ve been Nix, and if you couldn’t tell, I am a Tommy apologist.

[astroninaaa]

Okay, still not entirely sure if this counts ad a hot take but here i go ig (honestly pretty sure its not, just wanted to share some thoughts on the viewpoints and the impact they have)

Im not exactly caught up on lore, but i just want to say the black and white viewpoint (or the whole view of sides) of characters(or viewers in some cases) on the server play a lot into the view on lore. That specific viewpoint gives a lot to the general lore of the server when a. 'Protaganist' meets 'antagonist' b. 'protagonist' /'antagonist' meets anyone in general. The reason i think that is bc when who everyone views as 'good' and the 'bad' person comes into play, theres proof that theres a standard, theres already the general idea of whats good and bad to the characters (or viewers) and its often taken into a negative light. For example, manipulation, he has no ties we know of now and is stuck in a room with no comfort (and in my personal opinion has it worse than anyone ever had), but going off fhe reason i know about him, i could say hes the protagonist here in the story because hes becoming a villain to reunite the server as one big happy family, sacrificing himself and becoming the antagonist most view him as, Dream. On the other hand, it is true that a dude has caused a lot of trouble, using people to do work for him in context of lore ofc, starting wars, helping start a country with literal drugs that if i remember correctly was originally only for British people? So in context of lore, Tommy would be the antagonist? But for some reason, the reason being Tommy is a child, its somehoe okay for him to start wars and build a literal nation literally only changing the fact its with drugs and only allowing specific people to join. Okay maybe thats not THAT good of an example but the standard of bad apparently is manipulating a child to protect the peace of the server and the standard of good is being a child despite starting wars and a lot more. The standards the characters (and viewers) see as good and bad dont exactly make the most sense.

So ig idk how to explain it really but ill try is that if we see it from a objective perspective, good and bad would be behind the intention right? So why is there a standard? Bc if there isnt a standard whats to say anything is good or bad? Bc nothing is exactly good or bad. Theres reasons behind everything but the way the story progresses there is always a 'protagonist' and an 'antagonist'. And thats the only way the story can progress because without the black and white viewpoint no characters will have conflict, no conflict means there really isnt really a lot of lore to be done.

So in summary, the black and white viewpoint is the standard of the right and wrong on the server and without it litterally no lore would exist. (and that i hate c!tommy as a person but find him as a character interesting)

Idk when im gonna send an ask again so just so uk it wasnt a one time thing for me to send asks :)

-Lou

for one i completely disagree because the one person that has started wars the most has been c!dream. he has also caused a lot more property damage than c!tommy, he just then proceeded to frame c!tommy for most of it. the reason c!dream is usually seen as evil isn't because he manipulates minors, but because of all the violence, lying, murder, betrayal, and whatnot. it's not only about intentions. besides, c!tommy was honestly, most of the time, just trying to have fun. has he done bad things? absolutely. many times. he has done a lot of things i disagree with, but that doesn't change the fact he never deserved any of the pain and abuse that was inflicted onto him, which i believe makes him a much more sympathy-inducing character. also building a nation is not a crime

saying if something is good or bad touches morality, and i agree with you that nothing is exactly good or bad because each character has different morals. ask c!techno and c!puffy what their thoughts are on using withers and their answers will be obviously different.

the black and white view isn't exactly the standard, i believe. all characters are different shade of morally gray and that's just as important as the idea of morality in itself for the story. besides, i believe we don't need antagonists and protagonists for the lore to progress- just look at the egg arc! there were many different characters and you could argue all of them were both antagonists and protagonists. i don't know

anyways i respect your opinion tho!!! it's valid and i see your point, i just don't think i exactly agree with it. you explained it pretty well tho, so thank you!!!

send me a hot take!!!

[haus-of-wu]

in celebration of zhoumi’s starry night being released,

buckle in kids, here’s the crash course to super junior M (cue airhorns)

SJM (M standing for Mandarin) was formed in 2008, and was SM’s first group to directly target the Chinese(-speaking) market. Similar to the way other Korean artists had made debuts in Japan and released Japanese content, SM wanted to do the same but in China, Taiwan, Hong Kong, and other Chinese-speaking markets. (yum capitalism)

If Super Junior’s original rotating/graduation concept was the predecessor to NCT, Super Junior M was the precursor to SM’s younger Chinese-facing groups, EXO-M and WayV. The key difference I’d point out is that SJM is perhaps the most intentionally multilingual in terms of their track releases; they always record a Korean version of their mini album title track, and Perfection also had a Japanese version. Meanwhile, EXO-M was separate from EXO-K at the beginning because they had two distinct groups of 6 promoting the same song in two different languages, while WayV only (so far) releases in Mandarin (barring the English version of Love Talk).

The original lineup consisted of Hangeng, Zhoumi, Siwon, Donghae, Ryeowook, Kyuhyun, and Henry. After Hangeng left SJ/SM, they added in Eunhyuk and Sungmin to round the group out to 8 members.

There was a ton of controversy surrounding the addition of Zhoumi and Henry, because they were not part of the original 12-13 members (RIP kyuhyun for not being part of Twins/Knockout LMAO) that made up Super Junior. K-ELFs were worried that adding new members would take the spotlight away from current members and hurt the group as a whole. This “conflict” was handled very poorly, which lead to SM drawing a line between Super Junior and Super Junior M membership. Zhoumi and Henry were officially confirmed to be SJM-only members, and would never promote with SJ proper.

Video/track list for the uninitiated, and for those looking for a trip down memory lane (I’ve mostly picked live performances bc the MVs and lyric vids are fairly easy to find) below the cut!

SJM’s discography mostly falls into two easily distinguishable buckets: the SJ funky sound (think Sorry Sorry, Bonamana, Mr. Simple, Sexy Free & Single), and (Chinese) ballads.

I was also noticing while compiling their signature songs that SJM’s lyric content is generally heavily centered around love and relationships

Super Girl

You’re my super girl, I’m your super man

He can’t see your beauty, the magic hidden behind your ordinary appearance

I’d do anything for you

If he says he likes you, he would wait on you even if he’s busy

(TLDR SJM said dump your subpar man who doesn’t give you the time of day)

Their OG title track that made me fall in love with them go feral in 2008 - it’s a bop. This video also gives us leader/center Hangeng.

(this is also the song Donghae was singing during that one clip where suju pretends to forget how super clap goes)

If you watch the MV, you get SNSD’s Jessica making a cameo appearance in the house party scenes.

Perfection

It won’t do to be too rushed, love with shatter under (brute) force It won’t do to go too slow, so I’ll move at your speed

Just for you, I constantly give and I give Is it right for me to love you like this?

My heart keeps pounding, I want to see you My heart keeps pounding, I like you My heart keeps pounding, it’s all you My heart keeps pounding, I love you

Tell me you miss me Tell me you love me

I really have to thank Perfection for giving us the longest all-English rap in Super Junior history...even if the SM English is quite c r i n g e (it didn’t hit me till recently that Suju’s love for singing “boom” and “clap” started with Perfection)

something about this title track also makes me go feral (is it minor key? is it the ending verse/breakdown?)

Breakdown

My cold front breaks down for you All of my (facial) expressions reveal the way I worship you

Even if I’m covered in scars, I won’t mind if it’s for you

Maybe you think I’m too crazy (yeah you can call me crazy) In fact, I also agree with this (but I can’t stop loving you)

I specifically picked this performance because it’s the only one where they switched it up and sung the Korean verses with the Chinese chorus (VALID! because honestly...if you look up any of the Korean versions of their songs...they are very obviously subpar because the flow of the phonemes is clunky)

Swing

The general gist of the lyrics is a “cheer up, you can power through” message that’s fairly similar to Mr. Simple

The latest hit from SJM, all the way back from 2014, because SJM literally has not had a comeback since before Label SJ was an entity.

Even though it’s not my favorite track, Swing is important bc it was the first comeback they had a slew of Korean promos for (music shows, radio slots, variety show appearances), and they also placed first in China’s first ever music show broadcast.

Blue Tomorrow

By tomorrow, you will have left my side By tomorrow, I’ll be wishing on shooting stars alone Just like the ending of a movie

SJM also released a decent number of very on-brand love ballads. Blue Tomorrow is that lovely bittersweet breakup ballad you didn’t know you needed.

My Love for You

It doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter, baby I’d give you whatever you’d want Wipe away your tears, the sky would never be dark I’d be by your side everyday

An A+ sappy ballad, 10/10 would listen to again (i’ve run out of video embeds so i’ll leave it to you to find)

[tessisawriter]

Article: “The conflicted passions of Islanders fans of color and changes they want to see”

Under the cut, I have reposted in full an article written by Arthur Staple & published August 28, 2020 on the Athletic (a subscription-only site) b/c I feel everyone should be able to read it. Finally, someone is writing about racism on Long Island and within the Islanders fanbase; it’s been a major problem from the moment the team was founded. Imagine not feeling comfortable going to a hockey game. That’s what Black and POC Islanders fans experience all the time, and it cannot continue. The Islanders’ owners, Scott Malkin and John Ledecky, have to do better. 

Here’s the link to the article; everything under the cut is from that article and was written by Arthur Staple. 

Jason Faustino is not a household name to Islanders fans, but many of them wear his sneakers. The co-founder of Extra Butter, a trendy sneaker label, Faustino was a longtime Islanders season-ticket holder who custom-designed Isles-themed kicks through the team and Reebok several years ago. He counts a few players as customers and friends.

He’s also a Filipino-American hockey fan who all too often has felt alienated from the team he loves. Those experiences have ranged from being one of a bare handful of fans of color at games or, more recently, dismayed at the team’s tepid statement in the wake of George Floyd’s killing by a Minneapolis policeman on May 25 and the subsequent protests worldwide.

Faustino has been watching the Islanders’ successful playoff run in the fan-less Toronto bubble and has enjoyed the escape the games provide for him. He was encouraged that Islanders players decided to join the rest of the NHL in sitting out games Thursday and Friday to support the league’s players of color in the wake of Jacob Blake’s shooting by a Kenosha, Wis., police officer on Sunday.

But the online discussions resulting from the NHL players’ decision not to play for two days, combined with the team statement from June 1, have left Faustino wondering where he fits in as an Islander fan. And he’s not alone.

“I can’t help but look back and see that they pandered to a fan base that’s largely ignorant,” Faustino said. “You don’t want to take away from supporting the team, but sorry that it might make those fans uncomfortable to read or see the words ‘Black Lives Matter.’ What that statement (in June) confirmed to me is the team just might not be aware at all and just does not understand how the perception is different for players and people of color, not understanding what it feels like for them.”

In June, after the Islanders’ social media account posted the team’s statement — which, by all accounts, was approved by principal owner Scott Malkin — several fans reached out to The Athletic via email or direct message on Twitter to express their disappointment with the organization. We spoke with three fans, who are used to being one of very few Black or Brown faces in the crowd at the Coliseum or Barclays Center, about how the statement made them feel about their team. In follow-up conversations, we asked them whether having games back this month has changed their views.

None of the Islanders fans we spoke with had ever experienced racism at Isles games, but they said they felt and still feel distanced from the team due to the lack of outreach and sensitivity to the experience of people of color who love hockey. The Athletic reached out to Islanders ownership through a team spokesman in June and did not hear back.

‘I think the Islanders are good for Islander fans, not Long Island’

Desmond Zantua grew up in Floral Park, in the shadow of what will soon be the Islanders’ new home. He started going to Islander games as a teenager in 1997 and quickly noticed he could count, usually on one hand, the number of people of color in the Coliseum around him. “And it was easy to count since there weren’t many people there in the late ’90s,” he said.

Zantua, a Filipino American, has been active since Floyd’s death, going to protests in New York City and on Long Island and posting strong messages on Twitter. He feels the Islanders’ statement in June catered to a part of the fan base that is also vocal online, the part that counters Black Lives Matter with All Lives Matter, among other sentiments in the face of police brutality and misconduct.

What he wants to see from his team is more diversity in the organization, more outreach to minority communities on Long Island and more care taken to grow the game in a very diverse area.

“(The June 1 statement) confirmed to me that whether it’s business considerations or cultural considerations, everything is centered in suburban Whiteness,” Zantua said. “Being a fan of this team … the Islanders have played in predominantly Black neighborhoods and yet the crowd is predominantly White. Seeing a statement like that says that people like me don’t count.

“I’ve been going to games since 1997. I know most of the people there, I’m lucky if I see double-digit non-White people at the games. That should not change your ability to speak up against racism. It says to me those are the fans you want to keep, and what does it say about me if I continue to give money to an organization that feels this way?”

Since hockey and the Islanders have returned, Zantua has returned, too. He said it’s easier to watch and support the team when no fans are allowed because he doesn’t have to decide whether to attend or not. But the Blake shooting and how it forced the NHL and its players into confronting the world outside the playoff bubbles still makes him question his support.

“It’s been difficult. It’s still impossible to ignore what a White-privilege sport hockey is,” Zantua said. He hopes the Islanders get more involved with the minority communities around UBS Arena and grow the game on the Island in a new way once fans are allowed into the building.

“The kids in Garden City and Long Beach don’t need help discovering the game,” Zantua said. “Elmont is right there, Valley Stream is right there. … The Islanders talk about how good they are in the community. I think they’re good for Islander fans, not Long Island as a whole.”

‘You’re not making people feel welcome’

Ian Macks grew up in the Bronx and, even though he moved to Albany as a teen, still has a passion for the Islanders. It waned when the fan base never fully embraced the Barclays Center experience starting in 2015, and the June statement further pushed the 26-year-old Black poet away.

“There were obviously issues with them playing in Brooklyn, but it sort of felt to me that they never really tried to make it work,” Macks said. “I thought it was such a great opportunity to get new fans, fans that look more like me from Brooklyn and Queens and the Bronx, into games and into the Islanders. But they went straight back to the Coliseum when they could. … The aversion to Brooklyn just seemed to come from a place of, ‘We know where our comfort zone is and we’re going right back there.'”

When we talked to Macks in mid-June, there was no hockey. He was wearing his No. 66 Josh Ho-Sang jersey, but wasn’t optimistic about going to Islanders games on the Island in the future.

“I went to an Islanders game in Philly this season and it was the most at home I’ve felt at one of their games,” Macks said. “It shouldn’t have to be that way. The statement says to me they care more about a certain type of fan than the people who are being counter-protested right in your backyard. You’re not making people feel welcome. And this is an organization that’s had a real problem keeping fans from all their mistakes over the years.”

‘It’s not the kind of fan I want to be’

Faustino is a Melville, N.Y., native who lives in Boston now and works for Saucony, a major sneaker brand. After a decade of helping build Extra Butter and doing things his own way, he’s come to understand that living life in the corporate world means not always having your personal views validated. So, while he was extremely bothered by the Islanders’ June statement, he said he knows plenty of people within the organization who were hurt by what the team put out.

“In the sneaker industry, it was a similar moment (three months ago) — there were brands that got it right and ones that didn’t,” Faustino said. “It was disappointing the Islanders got it wrong.”

He’s been watching the playoffs and enjoying the team’s success so far. The problem with being so removed from games, he said, is that you’re sucked into the online world of fandom, which is not a welcoming place for Islander fans of color. After the Islanders put out their statement Thursday in support of the players’ decision not to play, tweets from mostly anonymous fans followed vowing never to support the team or the league again for caving to what they saw as left-wing pressure.

“I saw statements of people that won’t support the team going forward. Would this impact me wanting to go to games if I were a season-ticket holder and the games had fans? I don’t know,” Faustino said. “And if there’s a Stanley Cup parade, do I even want to walk with these people? It’s hard to have my own bubble of 10-12 fans that I care about and ignore the rest.

“Seeing the games come back and seeing the Isles win a couple rounds, it’s a relief, really. I think it is for a lot of fans to get away from the realities of 2020. And I’m sure it’s not just Islander fans on Twitter reacting to the games being postponed this way. But seeing some of those reactions and thinking back to how the team kind of catered to that group three months ago, it makes me want to remove myself from the team and the game I love. And that’s not the kind of fan I want to be.”

[aimeelockwood-blog]

Panic Away Review – My experience and unbiased opinion

Hey, Noline here. Welcome and thank you for checking out my blog. If you are looking for a complete review of Panic  Away, you have come to the right place as this is where you will find my detailed review of what I experienced and really thought about Panic  Away.

Note that this is a review site: Click here to visit the Panic Away official website.

Now you may wonder why I am writing this review. Well, I have been struggling with panic attacks and anxiety for many years. When I found Panic Away, I decided to take a chance on it and to share my personal experiences and how Panic Away may, or may not assist me in this process. I then decided to write a review to help other people like me, who are looking for a solution to this overwhelming feeling that has affected my life for so many years.

What you are about to read is the essential details you need to know before grabbing Panic Away for yourself. But be warned, I give you my personal experience with Panic Away and also the good and the bad, so if that is not what you want to hear, then this review is not for you.

So what exactly is Panic Away and what makes it different?

Away Ebook Panic Away Review

Panic Away, which is a completely natural approach has been developed by Barry McDonagh over many years after he himself suffered from panic attacks and general anxiety for years.

Barry McDonagh identifies the key element to curing panic attacks and overcoming anxiety as no longer fearing the thought of having a panic attack… Around this key concept he developed a comprehensive, but yet simple program for any person who wants to be cured from panic attacks and substantially reduce anxiety.

To discover exactly what is included in Panic Away, check out my previous blog “Panic Away Review – My journey to overcoming anxiety begins”. In summary Panic Away consists of a 256 page eBook, 4 videos and 7 audio recordings for immediate download.

The core of the program is the 21 – 7 Technique, which is made up of the 21 Second Countdown and the 7 Minute Exercise. This is then followed by C.A.L.M. Recovery, which helps to integrate this technique into your life. Panic Away aims to restore you back to your former care free self through eliminating panic attacks and reduce general anxiety fast.

This one simple technique can be applied anywhere and anytime to stop a panic attack in its tracks. It does not matter how long the anxiety has been present, this technique can be applied with great success.

The program is also available in hard copy with the book, dvds and cds ready for home delivery.

It currently includes a free bonus, with lifetime access to the Panic Away private members forum. The forum is available day and night, with supportive members consisting of qualified therapists and lay people who have been there and know what you are experiencing.

Lastly, it comes with a 100% money back guarantee, so if it is not exactly what you need, just return it….

What Panic Away is not…

It is not complicated, nor is it time consuming. It is not a 30 step program that takes forever to implement and only brings minor improvements.

It does not rely on out-dated techniques like distraction or positive affirmations.

It is not NLP or hypnosis and regression is not required to break the cycle.

It is not about teaching coping mechanisms and strategies. In fact it teaches how to be free and to never have another panic attack again.

How did this course help me to overcome anxiety and stop panic attacks?

If you have been following my blog you would know that I have followed the Panic Away program over the last few months. Please read the posts below if you are interested in my experience.

Panic Away Panic Away – Anxiety Thermometer

I have to acknowledge that over the last few weeks I haven’t followed the program. It really only hit me this morning when I sat down to write this review that I have forgotten about Panic Away. I haven’t had a panic attack in weeks and when I think about it now, I have been much less anxious than I have been in many years.

Now, I am too scared to say that Panic Away has cured me. It really is still too early for that, but I haven’t had a panic attack in weeks and my overall anxiety level is probably on a healthy level of 3 to 4.

… but don’t take my word for it. Visit the official Panic Away website and discover the authentic photo and audio testimonials from doctors, psychologists and former sufferers.

Who is Panic Away for?

It is for any person who is tired of being scared of when the next panic attack will strike or any person who is feeling generally anxious.

Click here to visit the Panic Away official website.

So, if you have experienced any of these, maybe Panic Away is the answer for you:

Finding yourself in the emergency room at the hospital, because you thought you were having a heart attack only to be told it was “only” anxiety? Worry that you may stop breathing because your chest feels tight and you are breathing erratic? Fear getting stuck in traffic on a bridge? Have anxious thoughts that just don’t seem to stop? Are you nervous and on edge in normal situations that didn’t bother you before? An overwhelming fear that you feel will be pushed you over the edge? If any of these bodily sensations are familiar maybe Panic Away is what you were looking for:

Dizzy spells leading to anxiety Tightness in the chest or shortness of breath Racing heart Obsessive worries and unwanted thoughts For a detailed list of bodily sensations and symptoms refer to my previous post – The physical manifestations and symptoms of a panic attack.

What are the Bad things about it?

The eBook is long, 256 pages long. This does however give you a lot of information on panic, anxiety and so on. You can always skip this information if you just want to jump straight into the 21 – 7 Technique.

The core of the program, the 21 – 7 Technique is simple, almost too simple to believe. If you expect complicated techniques, this is not for you.

What are the Good things about it?

Panic Away was developed by Barry McDonagh who himself used to suffer from panic and anxiety. He managed to work through his own anxiety and that of many other people during private coaching.

The program is presented in an easy to understand and logical format. The core of the program, the 21 – 7 Technique is extensively explained and reinforced with video and audio.

Panic Away provides a number of specific applications of the 21-7 Technique that relates to everyday life like how to deal with panic attacks while driving, leaving home, anxiety caused by the fear of flying and the fear of public speaking.

The 21 -7 Technique can be applied anywhere and anytime…

Overall what do I think?

Panic Away by Barry McDonagh, in my experience can help reduce panic and in the very least substantially reduce anxiety.

It is simple and can be used anywhere and anytime.

Once you GET that you no longer have to fear the thought of a panic attack, anything can happen. Click Here to discover this for yourself.

Hope my review has helped you,

Noline

Quote by Barry McDonagh “The key difference between someone who is cured of panic attacks and those who are not is really very simple. The one who is cured is not afraid of panic attacks.”

I have been quiet for a while. That is not because I decided not to write a Panic Away Review, but because I have been following the C.A.L.M. Recovery part of the Panic Away Program.

This is really important as it helps me to integrate what I have learned and as I am finding, it definitely speeds up my recovery from panic attacks and anxiety. I have decided to take my time, so that when I write a Panic Away Review it will really reflect my experience.

If you are getting impatient and want to check out Panic Away for yourself: Click here to visit the Panic Away official website.

So, what is C.A.L.M. Recovery?

C.A.L.M. Recovery is the final element of the Panic Away Program and teaches you how to remove obstructions from your life and to restore the natural flow and thereby letting go of anxiety and panic. C.A.L.M. Recovery consists of four areas:

C – Community Support. Panic Away Panic Away Program

A – Acceptance, which is possibly the most important factor in curing panic attacks. L – Lifestyle Changes, and M – Meaning. Barry McDonagh makes the very valid point that anxious people find it hard to stop checking in on themselves. So, when you move a little bit away from yourself and become more involved with the Community around you, it is a great distraction and helps to break the cycle of obsessive thoughts or circular thinking as I like to think about it. So getting involved in your community doesn’t just help the person you may support, but can help you to get a mental break from your problems.

Acceptance… Many of us feel that acceptance means giving in, but it doesn’t. Wishing things were different to the way they are, doesn’t help.

Firstly, things are the way they are. Secondly it just causes more frustration to fight what is. Thirdly these feelings of resistance that leads to mental conflict, anxiety and panic attacks have already proved that the process of resistance as a strategy to manage anxiety or life for that matter doesn’t work. So, to come back to the tree referred to in my post Panic Away Review – 21 Second Countdown Technique, no tree will fight nature by going head to head with the wind. The tree moves with the wind and moving with the emotion in the present moment means there is no conflict, no resistance and no or at least much less frustration.

To eliminate panic attacks and to reduce anxiety minor Lifestyle Changes (with exercise and diet) can have a big effect. It is however important to make small changes, as big changes are unlikely to be sustainable.

Firstly exercise reduces stress and secondly trains the body to handle the bodily sensations experienced during a panic attack. With regards to dietary chances, consider these three changes:

Eliminate or substantially reduce caffeine and alcohol. Keeping hydrated, so ensure you drink enough water. Eat healthy complex carbohydrates as they release serotonin. Lastly, find Meaning in your panic attacks and anxiety. Rise above the experience by finding meaning in the experience.

My experience to date with Panic Away and C.A.L.M. Recovery

Since I started the Panic Away Program, I feel much calmer and feel that I “am on the road to somewhere specific”. I have incorporated these four principles into my life. Most importantly for me is to accept my life and anxiety and to learn to move and flow with life.

I had to accept that recovery is not a linear process and that it comes with ups and downs. So some days I feel like I take a step back for every two steps I take forward.

I think though that my most important action was the decision to commit to Recovery…

Keep an eye open for my Panic Away Review where I will share my opinion on the program.

In conclusion….

I have now followed Panic Away for a month and am still doing the exercises, although not as regularly as I should. I have incorporated C.A.L.M. Recovery into my everyday life.

The question remains! Can Panic Away cure panic attacks and eliminate anxiety, I still don’t know for sure.

Can it help reduce anxiety and do I feel less anxious? Definitely, no doubt about that!

I will continue to integrate the program into my life and I will write my full review in my Panic Away Review within the next few weeks… Thank you for following my progress.

Panic Away Review – The 21-7 Technique and 7 Minute Exercise

Hey, today I want to write about the 21 – 7 Technique and specifically the second component of the technique, the Seven Minute Exercise as explained by Barry McDonagh in the Panic Away Program.

This is my experience of the Panic Away program. Click here to visit the Panic Away official website.

What is the 21 – 7 Technique?

The two main goals of Panic Away are to stop panic attacks and to eliminate general anxiety and the 21 – 7 Technique is the core of the Panic Away program. Barry McDonagh describes the 21 – 7 technique as first aid for anxiety and it is made up of two components:

The 21 Second Countdown Technique which is designed to stop panic attacks, and The Seven Minute Exercise which is designed to reduce general feelings of anxiety. The 21 Second Countdown Technique has been explained in a previous post. Click here to revisit the post. In this post I focus on eliminating general anxiety through the Seven Minute Exercise and my personal experience with the Panic Away program.

Generalized anxiety disorder – what it is and symptoms

Generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) is described as a lingering background anxiety. It tends to stay with a person for days and is associated with exaggerated tension and worry. The symptoms associated with GAD include:

Exhaustion Intrusive thoughts Difficulty concentrating Insomnia Dizziness Nausea Cramps Panic Away Panic Away – Anxiety Thermometer

As explained by Barry McDonagh this is not a mental illness, but a sensitized state.

As can be seen in the picture, the thermometer shows complete relaxation as zero and a full blown panic attack as 10. The typical stress level on an average day for the average person is around 3 to 4. For a person with GAD this level increases to around 5 to 8. The objective of the 7 minute exercise is to reduce this day to day stress level back to around 2 to 4.

What is the Seven Minute Exercise?

The Seven Minute Exercise combines a strong feeling of empathy or unconditional love with relaxation techniques to reduce the general level of anxiety. Ideally this technique should be used right after the 21 Second Countdown Technique and should then be practised three times per day to help in reducing the anxiety level. You can discover how to implement this technique for yourself at the Panic Away official website.

My experience to date in applying the exercise

I tried the exercise as soon as I read how it worked and then also every time that I practised the 21 Second Countdown Technique. The first time I tried it, I felt some pain leaving my body as I relaxed and followed the instructions from the exercise.

I am not always very good at “following” instruction, so have not implemented it three times every day. Maybe I am not the best person to write a Panic Away Review, but anyway… I do however follow it every morning when I wake up and once most days. My anxiety is higher in the morning, so this helps me to ease into the day rather than “fight” into the day.

I had a very frustrating day today, so my anxiety levels have been higher than normal. For one Google sandboxed this blog, so that means that nobody will find it as it doesn’t show up in a Google search. I just hope that it will be released soon, as I really want to share my experiences and my panic away review with as many people as possible.

Anyway let me get back to my experience. This increased anxiety (Around a level 8.) leaves me with stomach cramps and feeling physically hot. When I tried the seven minute exercise, the pain in my stomach just got worse. I then stopped and applied the 21 second countdown and again tried the seven minute exercise. During the 21 second countdown the knots in my stomach released and I could then follow the 7 minute exercise. Afterwards, I was a bit dizzy and had a slight headache, but the knots in my stomach had been “untied” and I felt more like being about a 4 and not an 8 like when I started the exercise. Still stressed, but somewhat calmer and clearer…. I will tell more in my Panic Away Review soon…

In conclusion….

I am still following the exercise and realizing that both are better than the one without the other. I generally first try to do the 21 second countdown, although as I said earlier when you try to invoke a panic attack it tends not to be there.

Can this cure panic attacks and eliminate anxiety, I don’t know yet. Can it help reduce anxiety? At this time I think so. I will write about my experience and my personal review in my Panic Away Review within the next week or two.

Bye for now… Noline

My Experience with Panic Away The physical manifestations and symptoms of a panic attack Posted on November 20, 2011 by Noline 10 COMMENTS In this post I like to share the physical manifestations and the symptoms of a panic attack as described by Barry McDonagh in his Panic Away program.

The physical manifestations of a panic attack and the role of the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems

Anxiety is a response to a danger or threat. Its objective is to either fight the danger or to flee from it and therefore its sole purpose is to protect you from harm. The working of the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems was explained in a previous post. Click here to revisit the post.

In ancient times our survival depended on this fight or flight response and even today it is needed when we find ourselves in a situation where we have to make split second decisions.

When confronted with danger, the brain sends signals to the autonomous nervous system.

Panic Away Release of adrenaline

The sympathetic nervous system releases adrenaline from the adrenal glands priming our body for action. When a panic attack begins, it does not switch off as easily as it is turned on as these signals continue to travel throughout the body. This is one of the physiological causes of panic attacks.

Eventually the parasympathetic nervous system is engaged and its role is to return the body to homeostasis or balance, but only once the perceived danger is gone. This is a built in system that will always kick in as the body cannot continue in an ever-increasing spiral of anxiety – no matter what our mind tells us.

During the fight or flight experience, resources like blood, oxygen and so on are moved to where they are needed most. This has an effect on the various bodily systems. It is these effects that cause the symptoms we experience during a panic attack and are briefly described below.

Symptoms of a panic attack

The fight or flight response affects the different bodily systems as follows:

Cardiovascular system – Blood moves to the area where it is most needed for a fast response. For instance it moves away from the hands, arms skin and so on to the thighs in preparation for fast action. This result in: Increased heartbeat Numbness in the arms and fingers Tingling in the arms, fingers and so on Tingling in the stomach Respiratory system – Breathing increases to allow more oxygen to prepare for action. The result of this however is also less oxygen to the head. The increased breathing, but less oxygen to the head results in the following: Breathlessness Panic Away Chest tightness symptom of a panic attack

Hyperventilation Sensations of choking and smothering Tightness in the chest Dizziness ( and sometimes extreme dizziness) Blurred vision Confusion Sense of unreality Hot flushes Muscles – Many muscles tense up in anticipation to fight or flee. This could lead to: Feelings of tension Muscle aches and pains Trembling and shaking Digestive system – As seen above resources are moved to the body systems that require more, leaving the digestive system with less. This could lead to: Dry mouth as less saliva is produced Nausea Butterflies in the stomach Constipation and other digestive concerns Panic AwayOverall – The flight or fight response results in an activation of the overall body metabolism. This can leave a person hot and flushed and ultimately drained and tired. When these symptoms and sensations occur and people do not understand why, they feel and worry that they have contracted an illness, or a serious mental condition. The threat of losing complete control seems very real and naturally very terrifying. This often starts the vicious circle of a fear of fear…

Quote by Barry McDonagh from Panic Away – “Panic attacks are not your enemy and they are not dangerous; they are an overreaction to a series of heightened bodily sensations.”

Anxiety Information Panic Away Review, Physical manifestations of a panic attack, Sympathetic nervous system What cause panic attacks and anxiety? Posted on November 14, 2011 by Noline 1 COMMENT There is much debate as to the causes of anxiety disorders. In this post I briefly share the views of Barry McDonagh as explained in his program Panic Away.

Anxiety disorders are often the result of exhaustion. This can be:

Physical exhaustion as a result of poor diet, substance abuse and bodily and hormonal changes. There is a clear link between hormonal changes like premenstrual syndrome and perimenopause and anxiety. Mental exhaustion brought on by excessive worry or stress. Emotional exhaustion linked to bereavement, divorce or an internal conflict caused by abuse or neglect. When a person is depleted in any of these three areas, the body and the mind becomes sensitized or overly alerted and more susceptible to anxiety disorder. In this sensitized state a person feels jittery and more susceptible to an internal shock like a rapid heartbeat or an external shock like a loud noise.

This sensitized state can lead to a person feeling more confused about bodily sensations. As a person becomes more confused about the sensations they feel or a change in their bodies, the more they fear that something is seriously wrong. An anxious thought can then send the body into overdrive as happens when you experience a panic attack. A cycle of fear and confusion in this sensitized state turns into an anxiety disorder over time.

Quote by Barry McDonagh from Panic Away – “What keeps a panic attack coming is the fear of the fear – the fear that the next one will really knock your socks off and the feeling that you were lucky to have made it unscathed through the last one. Your confidence has been damaged by the previous attack. Once you fully understand that you are not under threat you can then have a new response to the anxiety.”

Anxiety Information Causes of panic attacks, Panic Away, Panic Away Review The sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system Posted on October 26, 2011 by Noline 28 COMMENTS In this post I briefly look at what the autonomous nervous system and its two parts the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems are and how they work.

The autonomous nervous system controls body activities automatically. It is composed of neurons that regulate cardiac muscle, smooth muscles and glands. The relative stability of our bodies depends largely on the workings of the autonomous nervous system.

The autonomous nervous system is made up of two parts, the sympathetic and the parasympathetic nervous system. These two parts effectively have opposite functions. The one stimulates and the other inhibits. The sympathetic nervous system acts as the gas pedal and the parasympathetic nervous system acts as the brake.

The sympathetic nervous system is often called the “fight or flight” system. It comes into effect when we are excited or in life threatening situations. Its function is to provide the best conditions for responding to a threat.

The parasympathetic nervous system is active when the body is in a resting phase. Its main function is the promotion of normal digestion and elimination of faeces and urine. It further conserves energy, especially by reducing the demands on the cardiovascular system.

These two parts complement each other and it is important to have them in “balance” and our bodies in homeostasis. As per Wikipedia: “human homeostasis refers to the body’s ability to physiologically regulate its inner environment to ensure its stability in response to fluctuations in the outside environment.”

The illustration below shows the effect of the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system on the different organs of the body.

Panic Away

When the body is in a continued state of anxiety, the sympathetic nervous system is over stimulated and the parasympathetic nervous system does not get an opportunity to do its work.

Quote by Barry McDonagh from Panic Away – “Recovery happens by teaching the person to break the cycle of anxiety and stop adding fear to fear.”

Anxiety Information Autonomous nervous system, Panic attack, Panic Away Review Panic attacks and general anxiety – Basics Posted on October 4, 2011 by Noline 10 COMMENTS In this post I highlight some basic concepts and definitions as they relate to panic attacks and anxiety.

A panic attack is defined as a period of intense fear that are of sudden onset and last for a short period of time. An attack begins abruptly, reach a peak within minutes and then subside after several hours. It may however take days to recover from an anxiety attack, especially after the first attack.

Experiencing a panic attack, especially for the first time can be an intensely frightening experience. People often fear that they may be having a heart attack or a nervous breakdown. It often also leads to anticipatory anxiety in situations similar to where an attack occurred before.

Panic attacks vary from person to person and can be either spontaneous or situational. A situational panic attack occurs when a person finds themselves in a situation or place where they experienced a panic attack before.

Anxiety is defined as a state of apprehension or fear resulting from the anticipation of a real or imagined threat, event, or situation. It is one of the most common human emotions experienced by most people at some point in their lives.

Anxiety is not a mental illness; it is a behavioural problem and therefore can be easily corrected with the right guidance, knowledge and action.

Experiencing a panic attack is not physically dangerous. Panic attacks are not the enemy; they are the result of your mind misinterpreting the signals sent by your body. Anxiety is a built-in mechanism to protect us from danger.

Panic attacks and the fear of having another can lead to generalized anxiety disorder or GAD. Generalized anxiety disorder is an anxiety disorder which is characterized by exaggerated worry and tension. Some people may describe it as a fear of fear, personally I describe it as circular thinking as I feel that the same fearful thoughts go around and around in my mind.

Lastly, having an anxiety disorder in no way relates to a lack of courage. In fact, getting up day after day and facing your fears takes a lot of courage. On the positive side it builds and develops inner strength…

Quote by Barry McDonagh from Panic Away – “What if I told you the trick to ending panic attacks is to want to have one!”

Anxiety Information Panic attack, Panic attacks and general anxiety, Panic Away Review Panic Away Review – the 21 Second Countdown Technique Posted on September 30, 2011 by Noline 14 COMMENTS Hey, today I want to write about the 21 Second Countdown Technique, which is the first part of the 21 – 7 Technique explained by Barry McDonagh in the Panic Away program. I will write more about the Panic Away program and the 21 – 7 Technique later. I was eager to jump in and try the 21 Second Countdown Technique and over the last few days I used it a number of times to stop panic attacks.

I have to note at this time, that just taking action, recognizing and understanding how these circular thoughts in my mind is affecting me has already made me feel more in control. Sometimes you get into a rut and the moment you start moving forward, everything looks brighter and seem to get better.

This post is about my experience with Panic Away. Click here to visit the Panic Away official website.

What is the 21 Second Countdown?

The 21 Second Countdown is the first part of the 21 – 7 Technique which forms the core of the Panic Away program by Barry McDonagh. It is a simple four step program that can be used anywhere and anytime to stop panic attacks in their tracks.

The technique is focussed on observing and embracing feelings related to anxiety and panic attacks and not fighting, suppressing or trying to work around the feelings with positive thinking or happy thoughts. When observing and embracing the feelings we approach anxiety in a new way that does not require us to go head to head and fight with the feelings. Rather, we follow that what we generally observe in nature – acceptance and participation. No tree will fight nature by going head to head against the wind. The tree moves with the wind and moving with the fear and bodily sensations is the first step in overcoming panic attacks.

Thirdly we stay with the feelings and demand the feelings or fear to become stronger. When we don’t fight the feelings, we don’t create the tug of war to keep fuelling the war. Maybe we should all try a bit more of this in our relationships as well… :)

The fourth step is about trust, trusting that a panic attack is not dangerous and will not physically harm you in any way. The 21 Second Countdown Techniques then teaches a quick and easy way to implement these four steps counting down from 21 to 1. You can discover how to implement this technique for yourself at the Panic Away official website.

My experience to date in applying the technique

Firstly I tried to follow Barry McDonagh suggestion that I should “look for”/encourage a panic attack to practice the technique. It is however not so easy to bring on a panic attack when you want to have one. I suppose this is because when you eliminate the irrational fear, the panic attack itself can’t happen.

When the circular thinking in my mind did lead to an anxiety attack it felt counter intuitive not to want to fight and the fear got worse before it got better. Afterwards I felt disbelief more than anything and maybe just a little like a tree that looks strong, but is wise enough to move with the wind…

Noline

My Experience with Panic Away 21 Second Countdown Technique, Panic Away Review At last someone understands – could Panic Away be my answer? Posted on September 12, 2011 by Noline 1 COMMENT I watched the introduction to Panic Away and wondered why I have not found this program before. Yes, I really felt that someone understands exactly how I feel. This gives me hope, firstly this means that I am not alone and secondly if Barry McDonagh really understands these feelings, maybe this course can help me overcome anxiety and panic attacks.

The introduction video shows an animated character Jane having a panic attack during a shopping trip. She finds her heart beating hard and her throat pulsating. She thinks something is wrong and then run all the worst possible scenarios through her mind. She goes to the hospital for tests and is told that she had a panic attack. She is shaken by the experience and now lives in fear worrying that it could happen again. She feels restless and can’t concentrate, continually thinking and worrying about the next panic attack.  She now worries obsessively and has entered a phase which is referred to as general anxiety or generalized anxiety disorder. She now worries constantly and goes back and forth between panic attacks and general anxiety.

Sounds familiar? Watching this video made me realize that I am not alone and that someone out there understands how I feel. And just maybe, if Barry knows how I am feeling, his Panic Away Program may help me overcome anxiety and stop panic attacks.

I have detailed exactly what is included in the Panic Away Program in my previous post – Panic Away Review – My journey to overcoming anxiety begins. Check it out by clicking on the link if you would like to see the makeup of Panic Away for yourself. Then, watch the video of Jane’s second panic attack during lunch with a friend and discover for yourself, whether this is what you are going through.

My Experience with Panic Away Panic attack, Panic Away, Panic Away Review Panic Away Review – My journey to overcoming anxiety begins Posted on August 25, 2011 by Noline 4 COMMENTS My aim is to deal with my anxiety and to stop panic attacks. My aim with this website is to share my experiences as I work through my anxiety and ultimately to write a Review of Panic Away based on my experiences.

So I bought Panic Away created by Barry McDonagh and got access to the member’s area. This basic purchase gives me access to the bronze area. I am not exactly sure what that means right now, or what other levels there are, but I am sure I will find out over time.

I bought the basic program, so will limit my Panic Away Review to this program. There is also a coaching option which brings with it a 28 day challenge where one can work with an advisor who will help you set challenges and provide advice for your specific problem. It suggests fast results can be achieved with the least effort. I haven’t gone for this option as I prefer to work on my own.

So where do I start? Well, first I downloaded all the material. The Panic Away Program consists firstly of the e-book that is 256 pages long and include the following chapters:

Introduction What causes an Anxiety Disorder 21 – 7 Technique The 21 Second Countdown Examples for real life situations Eliminating general anxiety The 7 Minute Exercise C.A.L.M. Recovery Dealing with unwanted Anxious Thoughts Dealing with unwanted Bodily Sensations Dealing with Morning Anxiety Dealing with Insomnia and Night Panic Dealing with Phobias Dealing with O.C.D Dealing with Setbacks Turning the Corner Anxiety Medication A Round Up of the Usual Suspects Conclusion Then there are 4 videos:

An 18 minute Introduction 21 Second Countdown 7 Minute Exercise C.A.L.M. Recovery Panic Away Panic Away Program

Next there are also 7 audio recordings:

Introduction 21 Second Countdown 7 Minute Exercise Symphony Technique Driving Anxiety Deep Release End Anxious Thought Part 1 End Anxious Thought Part 2 Now this is a lot to take in and all this material is enough to make me somewhat anxious, but I will work through the material and start to think about my Panic Away Review and will check in again later or tomorrow…

Noline

This blog is about my personal experience with Panic Away. Click here to read my final Review of Panic Away and…

[an-ambivalent]

NSN: Ten [Yandere! Kim Taehyung] [Reader-Insert]

Series Title: Notice Me Noona

Synopsis:  Kim Taehyung was [Name]’s junior who just always happened to be where she was. At first, she brushed it off as a coincidence. However, soon, these coincidences became one too many, and his “small talk” felt like suffocating interrogations. It was obvious in the most discreet ways. [Name] perceived it as a small crush, and almost found the cliche concept of a junior liking a senior endearing. However, unbeknownst to her, Taehyung’s feelings were too intense to be labelled as a mere crush. It was obsession and he was TOO in love, almost to the point where he was even willing to murder just for her to notice him.

A/N: This story contains content that can make you uncomfortable. Read at your own risk.

The sky was  a shade of soft pastel blue. Cotton candy like white clouds floated in the atmosphere, and loomed over the premises underneath them. It was a bright day with the sun basking everything in its presence, and making the hue of everything look richer and brighter. The joyous weather held hope, and it made most people reminiscence about their pleasant memories filled with love and laughter. This was completely opposite from everything that Mina and Vicki felt.

It had been two years since they last saw, or heard from and about [Name]. The last time the young couple ever saw, or held their best friend was two years ago in a shopping complex, when they were comforting her after her break up with her first boyfriend.

It was a break up that they had encouraged.

It had also been two years since they saw or heard from and about [Name]’s boyfriend, Kim Taehyung. Everything simply disappeared. It was blank. There was nothing. There was nothing except for the unspoken melancholy emotions, unconfessed mourning feelings, and regrets left behind.

Vicki hated herself because she was always too pushy. Her daring and challenging words to her friends often peer pressured them into something they were obviously uncomfortable doing.  She was just too much. She regretted how she provoked [Name], and poked fun at her insecurities. She took things too far, and never stopped babbling when she should have, so she felt as if it was her fault that [Name]’s life ended the way it did.

Mina was the embodiment of the colour blue and sadness; she drowned herself in her grief and sorrow. She was an over-thinker who exaggerated everything. This was the part that she hated the most about herself, and yet, she allowed herself to inject this toxicity into [Name]. She was too overprotective of her. Whenever [Name] complained about the most minor of inconveniences, Mina would manifest her problems to an unrealistic level. She would reassure [Name] that everything she said was valid, even though something may have been [Name]’s fault. She scared [Name] from Taehyung with every little thing the [h/c] female confessed to, and due to her exaggeration, they ended up breaking up.

Maybe without their intervention, things could have worked out between [Name] and Taehyung. They could have been a happy couple who would have worked on the flaws of their relationship together. [Name] could have learned how to make Taehyung trust her and they could have discovered the meaning of their love themselves, rather than following the ideas of love everyone else ingrained in them from their own experience.

Mina and Vicki should only have been spectators. They should not have acted like judges of a show in a field they had no idea about.

If they really needed to interfere in [Name]’s life so much, both friends felt as if they should have not encouraged [Name] to date Taehyung in the first place. After all, it was always obvious that something was wrong with Taehyung and what he felt for [Name] was morbid infatuation rather than a simple crush. He was always eyeing her like some sort of starved predator gazing hungrily at its prey. Overall, everything about it felt insane.

It was bound to end in chaos.

It had been two years since [Name] [Surname] had been reported missing. There was some evidence but it led to a dead end. There was no further news, and in today’s day and age, justice never prevailed. They tried pathetically for a few weeks before they closed the case. It was the biggest middle finger in the face.

Everything was just worthless and there was nothing. No one could do anything else about it, and so, Mina and Vicki were forced to live the rest of their lives with permanent scars in their heart. There was no light in their dark tunnel of misery and regrets because they never found out, or will know what happened to their friend.

They could only make assumptions of the different scenarios about what happened to [Name] based on their actions in the past. There were countless of ‘what ifs,’ but one thing was certain. Mina and Vicki believed that whatever happened to [Name], this whole thing was all their fault.

She was lovely. Her smooth plastic-like [skin colour] skin shone under the poor yellow lighting of the room. Her soft hair that fell to the end of its length was perfectly smooth, and untangled from any knots because Taehyung brushed her hair at least ten times a day. She was dressed in satin frills.

She had become the ultimate object for his obsession.

With inimical infatuation filled in his insane gaze, Taehyung stared deeply in her dead and soulless eyes. With shaky fingers, he began to lift up her satin material dress up her thighs, and placed a sloppy and messy kiss on the corner of her lips.

It wasn’t the same. It wasn’t her, but this was all that he had left of her.

“I’m sorry Noona,” Taehyung began breathlessly, and he ran his hand up and down her thighs. “I’m sorry for becoming too angry and punishing you too harshly. I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have killed you for not returning my feelings. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so so so so sorry,” He cried, before he cupped her face with his hands.

“I promise I’ll be gentler. I’ll be a better lover this time. I won’t hurt you again, as long as you promise to be just mine and love me. You promise, right? Hahahaha, of course you do! Then, I promise to love you forever, even after death. My dear sweet [Name] noona, I will never let you go,” Taehyung said, before he connected his lips with the plastic doll’s, which looked exactly like his deceased lover.

chapter one | chapter nine | Masterpost

Trivia

1) Mina and Vicki are based on the type of friend I have observed myself to be in some circumstances, and this entire story was just based on my insecurities and self-roasting lololol.  

2) This story contains themes of domestic violence (but like toxic relationships) to some extent, and to foreshadow the themes of story, personalities of the characters or possible endings of the story, I referenced actual published texts about domestic violence.

3) I’ve talked about it several times but the abuser in  Behind Closed Doors was initially an influence on how I characterized Taehyung. It’s been months since I read that book so I don’t know if it did continue to influence his characterization towards the ending too. It’s a really good book, I highly recommend it.

4) Chapter five is titled ‘The Geranium.’ This is another reference to a text about domestic violence; there’s a short story called (as the title hints) The Geranium written by Flannery O’Connor. The actual flower Gernaium, according to this site, flowermeaning.com/geranium-flower/ have “conflicting meanings” and a lot of the meanings can be applied to the narrative of the story, and it’s characters. For example stupidity, can resonate with a lot of the characters lol. Themes of melancholy and friendship (protagonist’s lost, and her friendship between her friend’s group) and expected and unexpected meetings: expected because as readers, you expect that a yandere story will have dark themes (or that one way or another the protagonist was expected to become involved with Taehyung sooner or later). Unexpected because it didn’t necessarily had to be like that, and if proper steps are taken, then safety and security could have been achieved. It was a so and so situation, but for the sake of the plot, I wrote it the way I did.

That’s about it lol. I can’t think of anything else that is left to shared. Like with each story I complete, I thank you for reading this story despite any plot holes or poor writing it may have. I enjoyed writing it, and I hope you enjoyed reading it. Once my stories are completed, I do not touch them again so I don’t write sequels or reveal other ends I had in mind for them since extra ideas are needed for future works. I would love to receive feedback and if you want to critique it, that’s fine but please be respectful and nice about it and know that I don’t particularly have to agree with any critiques. If you have any other questions, I will do my best to answer them. Once again, thank you for reading.

[blue-pincushion]

TAGGED BY: @intolerablestrength woah thanks so much!!! O: TAGGING: oh shit here we go ! @team-phantom / @greendrums69 , @crimsonxblur , @1110-01111011 , @diamondintherouge / @wishesareeternal , @mercenaries-for-hire , @terminalvelocityau (pick your fave muse rn!) , @rothotnik , @fishing-purple-cat , @blunderbots , @birdboyofbabylon !

[ throwing this under a read more because it got long OOPS ]

—    BASICS.

▸     IS    YOUR    MUSE    TALL    /    SHORT    /    AVERAGE ? SHORT. hes literally 3′3 he’s the size of a hecking toddler but that’s what you get for being a mobian hedgehog lmfao. by mobian standards i’d say he’s probably average i guess? some mobians are way bigger and some are smaller than him it kinda varies from species to species. by mobian hedgehog standards i’d say he’s probably still average, maybe a little bit taller than the average hedgehog but yeah lmao

▸      ARE    THEY    OKAY    WITH    THEIR    HEIGHT ? it doesn’t really bother him that much until he’s forced to be compared to humans tbh like, especially when it comes to height restrictions for certain human contraptions such as a roller coaster designed for humans that he’s too small to ride honestly that shit ticks him off so much LET HIM RIDE IT DAMN IT

▸      WHAT’S    THEIR    HAIR    LIKE ? long, pointy, and blue. LOL no but for real his fur texture is short and soft, a little fuzzy in some places, although where it nears his back his hair becomes very tough and pointy and it’s hard to see where his fur ends and his quills begin since the color makes them blend together so much. if you look closely you can see all the individual quills he’s got, they kinda just grow a certain way that makes them clump together in those spikes you see on his head and back. they can still be styled though although it’s not the most comfortable experience

▸     DO    THEY    SPEND    A    LOT    OF    TIME    ON    THEIR    HAIR     /    GROOMING ? the most grooming sonic does is a quick shower, scrub down with some soap, and maybe brush some knots out of his fur if it’s bugging him. he’s absolutely the worst with remembering to groom his quills though and Tails has had to pluck loose ones out of Sonic many times before because it was driving the hedgehog nuts

sonic doesn’t really style his quills, they just are naturally spiked that way

▸      DOES   YOUR   MUSE   CARE   ABOUT   THEIR   APPEARANCE   /   WHAT    OTHERS    THINK ? not really! he’s confident in his looks so he doesn’t really worry much, although admittedly he’s a lil insecure about the very thin patch of fur on his tummy where you see that tan circle because he’s got OTHER male hedgehog friends who’ve got floof. how come he didn’t inherent his dad’s floof?? :c not cool

does he care about what others think about his appearance? nope he gets constant validation all the time from adoring fans who consider him to be a dream boat so honestly he’s not worried. he’s got his own style and is comfortable with it

—    PREFERENCES.

▸     INDOORS    OR    OUTDOORS ? 

outdoors absolutely. this is sonic the freakin hedgehog come ON man. there’s no room to run inside! there’s no fresh air! no open space! where’s he gonna get his adventure fix if he’s just stuck inside all day? booooo!

▸     RAIN    OR    SUNSHINE ?   both! while sonic very much enjoys the sun and finding a warm patch of sunlight to nap in, rain is also one of his favorite types of weather too. while he may be afraid of deep water, any other forms of experiencing water is lovely and the rain is really refreshing to run and splash in ▸     FOREST    OR    BEACH ?   okay sonic admittedly loves the beach and grew up with one literally a 2 minute walk away from his house but since there’s not much really to do besides look at how pretty the beach is he’ll have to go with forests. more stuff to explore and what not tbh. ▸     PRECIOUS    METALS    OR    GEMS ?   Gems for sure. he’s had a lot of fun playing with precious gems 👀 ▸     FLOWERS    OR    PERFUMES ? Oh for sure flowers, Sonic’s a huge flower and nature enthusiast and he enjoys the natural floral scents that they produce, plus they’re very pretty! ▸     PERSONALITY    OR    APPEARANCE ?   Personality hands down. if the person just LOOKS nice but has no personality then whats the point ??  ▸     BEING    ALONE    OR    BEING    IN    A    CROWD ?   it kinda depends. sonic doesn’t mind being in the presence of a lot of people but he’d prefer if he didn’t have all their attention and wasn’t lost in the throng of it. he’d rather be off to the side where he can do his own thing but still enjoy the presence of others. he’s a weird extrovert like that LOL ▸     ORDER    OR    ANARCHY ?   While he understands that order is important and it’s good for people to have moral structure in their lives, sometimes he just can’t do with the rules set in stone. sonic may be a good guy but in his mind sometimes being the good guy means you gotta break the rules  ▸     PAINFUL    TRUTHS    OR    WHITE    LIES ?  It... depends, honestly. is the painful truth about him or someone/something else? is he the one lying or is he the one being lied to?

sonic has a really bad habit with compulsively lying about his own well being so that others don’t worry about him, but when others lie to him about something (if it’s a really important something, not like minor stuff--- minor stuff he can let slide) then he Can’t Stand That. Which makes him a pretty huge hypocrite for hating white lies from other people but in his mind’s eye he puts other people first before him because he’s so darn selfless so it’s not really a big deal he’s sacrificing his well being for other’s right? he’s saving lives and making people happy right ?

anyway as far as the painful truth goes, as long as it doesn’t revolve around his personal feelings then he can manage it. i guess he prefers the painful truth in that sense, considering he’s carefully optimistic 

▸     SCIENCE    OR    MAGIC ?   ....eh. honestly he’s seen it all. at this point sonic just kinda  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ whatever man i can turn golden and super powerful with these magical rocks?? i can fight literal time gods with the rest of time space & reality crumbling around me and then re-set an entire timeline?? my brother can build a machine that can pinpoint my vital signature when i’m stuck in some weird void dimension??? aight. sounds fair. ▸     PEACE    OR    CONFLICT ?   Peace tbh, although after a while it does get a little boring if there’s no conflict for him to resolve--- being the hero he is. ▸     NIGHT    OR    DAY ?  

Either’s fine tbh, he doesn’t really have a preference. although sometimes night makes him feel a little on edge thanks to sonic unleashed ▸     DUSK    OR    DAWN ? 

he’s kinda indifferent about either, and isn’t really a fan of paying attention to the sun’s movements around these times of the day anyway bc it brings back unpleasant memories. thanks sonic unleashed

▸     WARMTH    OR    COLD  ? 

warmth pls he has short fur and was born on a tropical island, being cold sucks

▸     MANY   ACQUAINTANCES    OR    A    FEW    CLOSE    FRIENDS ? 

both ? sonic has a few close friends and many acquaintances tbh.

▸     READING    OR    PLAYING    A    GAME ?  

PLAYING A GAME ABSOLUTELY. reading just doesn’t cut it for this hedgehog’s overactive brain he needs something he can physically engage in somehow and while he may enjoy a good story he has to be receiving it in a way that keeps his attention and if he’s just stuck sitting there and staring at a page he will lose focus pretty quick.

—    QUESTIONNAIRE.

▸      WHAT    ARE    SOME    OF    YOUR    MUSE’S    BAD    HABITS ? -lying (about his well being) and hiding when he is hurt emotionally/physically -letting his selfless nature take control to the point where it’s damaging his own health -isolating himself with his problems so other people don’t have to deal with it -running away from situations when he can’t understand his feelings -making impulsive decisions that he doesn’t always think through  

▸      HAS    YOUR    MUSE    LOST    ANYONE    CLOSE    TO    THEM ?      HOW    HAS    IT    AFFECTED    THEM ? sonic’s first experience with losing a loved one was his own father, who unfortunately died saving sonic’s life from drowning in a tsunami. it was what  really kick started a lot of what you see in the blue hedgehog today, tbh. his drive to help and save others, his resolve over accepting that bad things happen and you can’t always control that no matter what you do... you can thank his mom for that btw. she helped sway him away from completely internalizing this event and taught him some very important life lessons.

since then Sonic has been no stranger to loss but he’s gotten good at handling it over the years, seeing as he’s had to say goodbye to many people in his life. it still hurts, though. he will do everything in his power to not lose those people who hold that place in his heart

▸      WHAT    ARE    SOME    FOND    MEMORIES    YOUR    MUSE    HAS ?  

flying in his grandpa’s plane for the first time, it was the coolest thing he’d ever experienced in his life at the time. 

another time would be soaring above the city tops of grand metropolis with his teammates (in sonic heroes), like honestly traveling as that trio for a while was such a thrill and he sometimes misses those days

▸     IS    IT    EASY    FOR    YOUR    MUSE    TO    KILL ? ....not really, no. sonic really doesn’t like killing and will do just about anything to avoid doing it unless it really, really comes down to the only option he has. and let me tell you, sonic takes no pride in being responsible for the death of someone else, no matter who that person is.

▸      WHAT’S    IT    LIKE    WHEN    YOUR    MUSE    BREAKS    DOWN ?

oh boy.

sonic’s breakdowns are honestly really subtle, and that’s because they’re a slow process that consists of him cracking and crumbling and then trying to hold it together and build himself back up because he can’t afford to break down and then cracking and crumbling again but never really allowing himself to have that moment where he actually snaps and falls apart.

the signs you’ll want to look out for will be him avoiding people way more often than usual, becoming irritable and his temper flaring up, exhaustion from lack of getting amounts proper sleep, he pretty much starts to self destruct a little bit and it’s not a pretty sight. it’s why he especially tries to avoid people when he gets like this because he doesn’t want them to see whats actually going on.

▸      IS    YOUR    MUSE    CAPABLE    OF    TRUSTING    SOMEONE    WITH    THEIR    LIFE ? there’s lots of people he’d trust with his life tbh

▸      WHAT’S    YOUR    MUSE    LIKE    WHEN    THEY’RE    IN    LOVE ?

,,,, man.

ok, sonic is such a huge sap and he hates it LOL. he’ll suddenly catch himself thinking all wistfully about the person he’s in love with and will be like “really?? right in front of my salad??” LMAO it’s just in his nature to be cheesy and sappy and do sweet things for the person of his affections because that’s exactly how his dad was but at the same time he’ll mentally take a second to point out how lame it is and he embarrasses himself over it ashdfkd

besides that, though, sonic is a real big sweet heart, and he’ll really want to try to express to that person how much he loves them but he’d also fear this whole romantic side of him coming out will interfere with his love of adventure. the idea of committing himself to one specific person in a way that makes them feel like his whole world to him is a bit scary to sonic, because he knows that he can’t really afford that when he’s out here saving lives and going on adventures. how could he possibly have the time for that, anyway? can this person keep up with him? would he be willing to slow down for that person? it just begs so many different questions and forces sonic to face possible changes to his entire way of living and it freaks him out a little bit.

which is why he tends to avoid romantic topics in general, and also why when he gets a crush on someone he goes straight into panic mode LOL. he’d honestly rather stay friends with the person and quietly adore them in his own time, maybe by sending them gifts or dropping by their place on occasion, DEFINITELY, AT LEAST making an effort to spend a little bit more time with that person than anyone else. 

[melissawalker01]

Utah Divorce Code 30-3-33

Utah Code 30-3-33: Advisory Guidelines

In addition to the parent-time schedules provided in Sections 30-3-35 and 30-3-35.5, the following advisory guidelines are suggested to govern all parent-time arrangements between parents. 1. Parent-time schedules mutually agreed upon by both parents are preferable to a court-imposed solution. 2. The parent-time schedule shall be used to maximize the continuity and stability of the child’s life. 3. Special consideration shall be given by each parent to make the child available to attend family functions including funerals, weddings, family reunions, religious holidays, important ceremonies, and other significant events in the life of the child or in the life of either parent which may inadvertently conflict with the parent-time schedule. 4. The responsibility for the pickup, delivery, and return of the child shall be determined by the court when the parent-time order is entered, and may be changed at any time a subsequent modification is made to the parent-time order.

5. If the noncustodial parent will be providing transportation, the custodial parent shall have the child ready for parent-time at the time the child is to be picked up and shall be present at the custodial home or shall make reasonable alternate arrangements to receive the child at the time the child is returned. 6. If the custodial parent will be transporting the child, the noncustodial parent shall be at the appointed place at the time the noncustodial parent is to receive the child, and have the child ready to be picked up at the appointed time and place, or have made reasonable alternate arrangements for the custodial parent to pick up the child. 7. Regular school hours may not be interrupted for a school-age child for the exercise of parent-time by either parent. 8. The court may make alterations in the parent-time schedule to reasonably accommodate the work schedule of both parents and may increase the parent-time allowed to the noncustodial parent but may not diminish the standardized parent-time provided in Sections 30-3-35 and 30-3-35.5. 9. The court may make alterations in the parent-time schedule to reasonably accommodate the distance between the parties and the expense of exercising parent-time. 10. Neither parent-time nor child support is to be withheld due to either parent’s failure to comply with a court-ordered parent-time schedule. 11. The custodial parent shall notify the noncustodial parent within 24 hours of receiving notice of all significant school, social, sports, and community functions in which the child is participating or being honored, and the noncustodial parent shall be entitled to attend and participate fully. 12. The noncustodial parent shall have access directly to all school reports including preschool and daycare reports and medical records and shall be notified immediately by the custodial parent in the event of a medical emergency. 13. Each parent shall provide the other with the parent’s current address and telephone number, email address, and other virtual parent-time access information within 24 hours of any change.

14. Each parent shall permit and encourage, during reasonable hours, reasonable and uncensored communications with the child, in the form of mail privileges and virtual parent-time if the equipment is reasonably available, provided that if the parties cannot agree on whether the equipment is reasonably available, the court shall decide whether the equipment for virtual parent-time is reasonably available, taking into consideration: a. the best interests of the child; b. each parent’s ability to handle any additional expenses for virtual parent-time; c. and any other factors the court considers material. 15. Parental care shall be presumed to be better care for the child than surrogate care and the court shall encourage the parties to cooperate in allowing the noncustodial parent, if willing and able to transport the children, to provide the child care. Child care arrangements existing during the marriage are preferred as are child care arrangements with nominal or no charge. 16. Each parent shall provide all surrogate care providers with the name, current address, and telephone number of the other parent and shall provide the noncustodial parent with the name, current address, and telephone number of all surrogate care providers unless the court for good cause orders otherwise. 17. Each parent shall be entitled to an equal division of major religious holidays celebrated by the parents, and the parent who celebrates a religious holiday that the other parent does not celebrate shall have the right to be together with the child on the religious holiday. 18. If the child is on a different parent-time schedule than a sibling, based on Sections 30-3-35 and 30-3-35.5, the parents should consider if an upward deviation for parent-time with all the minor children so that parent-time is uniform between school aged and nonschool aged children, is appropriate. 19. When one or both parents are service members or contemplating joining a uniformed service, the parents should resolve issues of custodial responsibility in the event of deployment as soon as practicable through reaching a voluntary agreement pursuant to Section 78B-20-201 or through court order obtained pursuant to Section 30-3-10. Service members shall ensure their family care plan reflects orders and agreements entered and filed pursuant to Title 78B, Chapter 20, Uniform Deployed Parents Custody, Parent-Time, and Visitation Act.

Can Children Express Preference in Utah Custody Proceedings?

There are more children of separated parents in the Utah today than ever before. With all of the emotion surrounding a separation, parents sometimes fail to include their children’s desires in custody decisions. In many states, however, judges must consider a child’s preference when determining custody. Utah courts decide child custody whenever parents can’t come to an agreement on their own. Judges must consider a number of factors when making custody decisions, including each of the following: • the parents’ past conduct and moral standards • which parent is most likely to act in the child’s best interests, including allowing the child frequent contact with the other parent • the child’s relationship with each parent • either parent’s history of domestic violence • the child’s special needs, if any • the distance between the parents’ residences • the child’s preference, if the child is old enough, and • any other factor the court deems relevant to custody.

When Will the Court Consider a Child’s Preference?

Whether a Utah court will consider a child’s preference when deciding custody depends on the child’s age and maturity. Judges will give more weight to older children’s preferences (14 and older), and disregard the opinion of children under ten. Children between ten and 14 can have limited input on custody decisions. In one case, an 11-year old boy stated a preference to live with his father, but the judge specifically stated that an 11-year old shouldn’t have control over where he lives. Judges will also look at the reasons a child prefers to live with one parent over the other. In one case, a father with custody of two boys moved them from their hometown and away from their school, friends, and other family members. The children wanted to live with their mother to be close to friends and family, and to continue going to the school they knew. The court found that these were valid reasons to want to live with their mother and gave the children’s preferences significant weight in the custody decision. On the other hand, if a child’s reasons for wanting to live one parent are immature, for example, because one parent is more lax with discipline or gives them lavish gifts, the judge won’t give the child’s preference much weight. Even if a child has a strong custodial preference, it won’t be the controlling factor in a court’s decision. A judge can always overrule a child’s preference if it’s in the child’s best interest to live with the non-preferred parent. Judges will also watch to see if parents have coached their children. In one case, a judge questioned the children and discovered that their mother had told them to lie about her boyfriend’s overnight visits in their home. The mother’s coaching was a major factor in the judge’s decision to transfer custody to the father.

Do Children Have to Testify About Their Custodial Preferences in Court?

In Utah, children can’t testify in court unless there are extenuating circumstances, and there’s no other way to obtain their testimony. Instead, judges usually interview children in court chambers to determine their custodial preferences. Normally, the court will ask the parents for permission to interview a child, but parental consent isn’t necessary if the judge decides that an interview is the only way to figure out the child’s custodial desires. Parents can’t attend the in-chambers interview. The judge may or may not allow the parent’s attorneys to be present. Often, a court reporter will record the interview. Courts can determine a child’s preference in other ways as well. In one case, the judge deciding custody considered letters written by two boys to their mom, stating that they wanted to live with her. Courts may also allow custody evaluators or mental health professionals to testify about what children have told them regarding their custodial preferences.

Unfit Parent and Child Custody Cases in Utah

If you are filing for a divorce in Utah, it is normal for you to be concerned about the welfare of your child under your ex’s custody. If you are sure that your ex is not fit to have custody of your child, there are legal options you can use to deny them this prerogative. Proving that a parent is unfit is one of the difficult areas in child custody cases in Utah. This begs the question, when is a parent deemed unfit, and how can you prove this in court? Another concern would be whether there are other options you can pursue if you are unable to prove that your ex is lacked parental fitness.

What Does It Mean To Be An Unfit Parent?

The courts normally review the conduct of both parents while they were married and how their behavior has affected their child. The courts decide whether to terminate a parent’s rights if he/she is deemed to be unfit. A parent is deemed to be incompetent or unfit if: • They are suffering from a mental condition that renders them incapable of attending to a child’s current and future physical and emotional needs • They are alcoholics or drug addicts. • They have a history of exhibiting violent behavior. • They are abusive towards the child either physically, sexually, or emotionally. • They habitually deprive the child of proper food, housing, clothing, education. • They are currently in prison for a felony and they are serving a long sentence that will deprive their child of a suitable home for over one year.

Termination of Parental Rights

In Utah, if you fear for your child’s safety or if you do not feel safe with them watching your child at all, then you do have the option of terminating their parental rights. For this process, you must prove that the parent is unable to be a fit parent.

How Do You Prove That a Parent is Unfit?

The court does not assume that there is an adversarial relationship between a child and its parent without sufficient proof. When deciding to terminate a parent’s right over their child or making other related child custody decisions, the court will usually rely on what is the best interest of the child before considering the parents’ convenience and concerns regarding a child’s safety and well-being.

You can show your ex is an unfit parent by: • Providing evidence implicating them of sexual exploitation or abuse of the child • Providing evidence that they were convicted of a felony and how this shows their incapability to look after a child • Providing evidence of child abuse either by showing a disfigurement or impairment caused by the parent that put the child’s life in danger • Providing evidence of their neglect by showing death or injury of a child that the parent was responsible for: it could be a relative’s or neighbor’s child, or even the child’s sibling • Providing evidence of the parent’s intentions to murder a child If there’s Enough Evidence Will They Terminate the Unfit Parents’ Rights? There are specific guidelines that are used in Utah to determine if a parent is unfit. The court decides whether or not to terminate rights and they look for evidence such as if they: • have a mental illness or even an emotional illness that would prevent them from taking care of the child. An example of evidence would be medical records outlining this. • are abusive (including emotionally, physically, and sexually) or even cruel to the child. You will need hard evidence of this abuse, such as a police report or medical evaluation record. • have a substance addiction of any kind. You can use medical records or a history of drug charges for evidence. • cannot provide basic needs such as food and clothing to the child. Examples of evidence proving they cannot afford to take care of the child would be if they never bring the child back with shoes or proper clothing such as a jacket or coat during the winter. Another example would be if the child seems to always be starving when returned or the parent doesn’t have a car seat. • have a history of violent or negative behavior. You can use police reports for instances as your evidence. • are in prison because of a felony charge or have a long sentence. You will need records of them currently being in jail as well as their sentencing documents. • have exposed the child to pornography of any type on purpose. You will need actual evidence of this. You may want to have character witnesses or even photographs or video of this happening, if possible.

The courts will always keep the best interests of the child in the forefront of their decision as well as the safety and well-being of the child. This is true for terminating parental rights, custody, and more. Terms Used In Utah Code 30-3-33 • Custodial responsibility: includes all powers and duties relating to caretaking authority and decision-making authority for a child. • Uniformed service

Divorce Lawyer

When you need a Utah Divorce Attorney, please call Ascent Law LLC for your free consultation (801) 676-5506. We want to help you.

Ascent Law LLC 8833 S. Redwood Road, Suite C West Jordan, Utah 84088 United States Telephone: (801) 676-5506

Ascent Law LLC

4.9 stars – based on 67 reviews

Recent Posts

Custody Lawyers In Utah County

Buying A House With Someone Else

Tax Audit Defense Law

Divorce Or Live Together?

Can A Private Company Do Private Placement?

Fish And Game Lawyer

{ "@context": "http://schema.org/", "@type": "Product", "name": "ascentlawfirm", "description": "Ascent Law helps you in divorce, bankruptcy, probate, business or criminal cases in Utah, call 801-676-5506 for a free consultation today. We want to help you. ", "brand": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "ascentlawfirm" }, "aggregateRating": { "@type": "AggregateRating", "ratingValue": "4.9", "ratingCount": "118" }, "offers": { "@type": "Offer", "priceCurrency": "USD" } }

The post Utah Divorce Code 30-3-33 first appeared on Michael Anderson.

from Michael Anderson https://www.ascentlawfirm.com/utah-divorce-code-30-3-33/ from Divorce Lawyer Nelson Farms Utah https://divorcelawyernelsonfarmsutah.tumblr.com/post/630830667130863616

[coming-from-hell]

Utah Divorce Code 30-3-33

Utah Code 30-3-33: Advisory Guidelines

In addition to the parent-time schedules provided in Sections 30-3-35 and 30-3-35.5, the following advisory guidelines are suggested to govern all parent-time arrangements between parents. 1. Parent-time schedules mutually agreed upon by both parents are preferable to a court-imposed solution. 2. The parent-time schedule shall be used to maximize the continuity and stability of the child’s life. 3. Special consideration shall be given by each parent to make the child available to attend family functions including funerals, weddings, family reunions, religious holidays, important ceremonies, and other significant events in the life of the child or in the life of either parent which may inadvertently conflict with the parent-time schedule. 4. The responsibility for the pickup, delivery, and return of the child shall be determined by the court when the parent-time order is entered, and may be changed at any time a subsequent modification is made to the parent-time order.

5. If the noncustodial parent will be providing transportation, the custodial parent shall have the child ready for parent-time at the time the child is to be picked up and shall be present at the custodial home or shall make reasonable alternate arrangements to receive the child at the time the child is returned. 6. If the custodial parent will be transporting the child, the noncustodial parent shall be at the appointed place at the time the noncustodial parent is to receive the child, and have the child ready to be picked up at the appointed time and place, or have made reasonable alternate arrangements for the custodial parent to pick up the child. 7. Regular school hours may not be interrupted for a school-age child for the exercise of parent-time by either parent. 8. The court may make alterations in the parent-time schedule to reasonably accommodate the work schedule of both parents and may increase the parent-time allowed to the noncustodial parent but may not diminish the standardized parent-time provided in Sections 30-3-35 and 30-3-35.5. 9. The court may make alterations in the parent-time schedule to reasonably accommodate the distance between the parties and the expense of exercising parent-time. 10. Neither parent-time nor child support is to be withheld due to either parent’s failure to comply with a court-ordered parent-time schedule. 11. The custodial parent shall notify the noncustodial parent within 24 hours of receiving notice of all significant school, social, sports, and community functions in which the child is participating or being honored, and the noncustodial parent shall be entitled to attend and participate fully. 12. The noncustodial parent shall have access directly to all school reports including preschool and daycare reports and medical records and shall be notified immediately by the custodial parent in the event of a medical emergency. 13. Each parent shall provide the other with the parent’s current address and telephone number, email address, and other virtual parent-time access information within 24 hours of any change.

14. Each parent shall permit and encourage, during reasonable hours, reasonable and uncensored communications with the child, in the form of mail privileges and virtual parent-time if the equipment is reasonably available, provided that if the parties cannot agree on whether the equipment is reasonably available, the court shall decide whether the equipment for virtual parent-time is reasonably available, taking into consideration: a. the best interests of the child; b. each parent’s ability to handle any additional expenses for virtual parent-time; c. and any other factors the court considers material. 15. Parental care shall be presumed to be better care for the child than surrogate care and the court shall encourage the parties to cooperate in allowing the noncustodial parent, if willing and able to transport the children, to provide the child care. Child care arrangements existing during the marriage are preferred as are child care arrangements with nominal or no charge. 16. Each parent shall provide all surrogate care providers with the name, current address, and telephone number of the other parent and shall provide the noncustodial parent with the name, current address, and telephone number of all surrogate care providers unless the court for good cause orders otherwise. 17. Each parent shall be entitled to an equal division of major religious holidays celebrated by the parents, and the parent who celebrates a religious holiday that the other parent does not celebrate shall have the right to be together with the child on the religious holiday. 18. If the child is on a different parent-time schedule than a sibling, based on Sections 30-3-35 and 30-3-35.5, the parents should consider if an upward deviation for parent-time with all the minor children so that parent-time is uniform between school aged and nonschool aged children, is appropriate. 19. When one or both parents are service members or contemplating joining a uniformed service, the parents should resolve issues of custodial responsibility in the event of deployment as soon as practicable through reaching a voluntary agreement pursuant to Section 78B-20-201 or through court order obtained pursuant to Section 30-3-10. Service members shall ensure their family care plan reflects orders and agreements entered and filed pursuant to Title 78B, Chapter 20, Uniform Deployed Parents Custody, Parent-Time, and Visitation Act.

Can Children Express Preference in Utah Custody Proceedings?

There are more children of separated parents in the Utah today than ever before. With all of the emotion surrounding a separation, parents sometimes fail to include their children’s desires in custody decisions. In many states, however, judges must consider a child’s preference when determining custody. Utah courts decide child custody whenever parents can’t come to an agreement on their own. Judges must consider a number of factors when making custody decisions, including each of the following: • the parents’ past conduct and moral standards • which parent is most likely to act in the child’s best interests, including allowing the child frequent contact with the other parent • the child’s relationship with each parent • either parent’s history of domestic violence • the child’s special needs, if any • the distance between the parents’ residences • the child’s preference, if the child is old enough, and • any other factor the court deems relevant to custody.

When Will the Court Consider a Child’s Preference?

Whether a Utah court will consider a child’s preference when deciding custody depends on the child’s age and maturity. Judges will give more weight to older children’s preferences (14 and older), and disregard the opinion of children under ten. Children between ten and 14 can have limited input on custody decisions. In one case, an 11-year old boy stated a preference to live with his father, but the judge specifically stated that an 11-year old shouldn’t have control over where he lives. Judges will also look at the reasons a child prefers to live with one parent over the other. In one case, a father with custody of two boys moved them from their hometown and away from their school, friends, and other family members. The children wanted to live with their mother to be close to friends and family, and to continue going to the school they knew. The court found that these were valid reasons to want to live with their mother and gave the children’s preferences significant weight in the custody decision. On the other hand, if a child’s reasons for wanting to live one parent are immature, for example, because one parent is more lax with discipline or gives them lavish gifts, the judge won’t give the child’s preference much weight. Even if a child has a strong custodial preference, it won’t be the controlling factor in a court’s decision. A judge can always overrule a child’s preference if it’s in the child’s best interest to live with the non-preferred parent. Judges will also watch to see if parents have coached their children. In one case, a judge questioned the children and discovered that their mother had told them to lie about her boyfriend’s overnight visits in their home. The mother’s coaching was a major factor in the judge’s decision to transfer custody to the father.

Do Children Have to Testify About Their Custodial Preferences in Court?

In Utah, children can’t testify in court unless there are extenuating circumstances, and there’s no other way to obtain their testimony. Instead, judges usually interview children in court chambers to determine their custodial preferences. Normally, the court will ask the parents for permission to interview a child, but parental consent isn’t necessary if the judge decides that an interview is the only way to figure out the child’s custodial desires. Parents can’t attend the in-chambers interview. The judge may or may not allow the parent’s attorneys to be present. Often, a court reporter will record the interview. Courts can determine a child’s preference in other ways as well. In one case, the judge deciding custody considered letters written by two boys to their mom, stating that they wanted to live with her. Courts may also allow custody evaluators or mental health professionals to testify about what children have told them regarding their custodial preferences.

Unfit Parent and Child Custody Cases in Utah

If you are filing for a divorce in Utah, it is normal for you to be concerned about the welfare of your child under your ex’s custody. If you are sure that your ex is not fit to have custody of your child, there are legal options you can use to deny them this prerogative. Proving that a parent is unfit is one of the difficult areas in child custody cases in Utah. This begs the question, when is a parent deemed unfit, and how can you prove this in court? Another concern would be whether there are other options you can pursue if you are unable to prove that your ex is lacked parental fitness.

What Does It Mean To Be An Unfit Parent?

The courts normally review the conduct of both parents while they were married and how their behavior has affected their child. The courts decide whether to terminate a parent’s rights if he/she is deemed to be unfit. A parent is deemed to be incompetent or unfit if: • They are suffering from a mental condition that renders them incapable of attending to a child’s current and future physical and emotional needs • They are alcoholics or drug addicts. • They have a history of exhibiting violent behavior. • They are abusive towards the child either physically, sexually, or emotionally. • They habitually deprive the child of proper food, housing, clothing, education. • They are currently in prison for a felony and they are serving a long sentence that will deprive their child of a suitable home for over one year.

Termination of Parental Rights

In Utah, if you fear for your child’s safety or if you do not feel safe with them watching your child at all, then you do have the option of terminating their parental rights. For this process, you must prove that the parent is unable to be a fit parent.

How Do You Prove That a Parent is Unfit?

The court does not assume that there is an adversarial relationship between a child and its parent without sufficient proof. When deciding to terminate a parent’s right over their child or making other related child custody decisions, the court will usually rely on what is the best interest of the child before considering the parents’ convenience and concerns regarding a child’s safety and well-being.

You can show your ex is an unfit parent by: • Providing evidence implicating them of sexual exploitation or abuse of the child • Providing evidence that they were convicted of a felony and how this shows their incapability to look after a child • Providing evidence of child abuse either by showing a disfigurement or impairment caused by the parent that put the child’s life in danger • Providing evidence of their neglect by showing death or injury of a child that the parent was responsible for: it could be a relative’s or neighbor’s child, or even the child’s sibling • Providing evidence of the parent’s intentions to murder a child If there’s Enough Evidence Will They Terminate the Unfit Parents’ Rights? There are specific guidelines that are used in Utah to determine if a parent is unfit. The court decides whether or not to terminate rights and they look for evidence such as if they: • have a mental illness or even an emotional illness that would prevent them from taking care of the child. An example of evidence would be medical records outlining this. • are abusive (including emotionally, physically, and sexually) or even cruel to the child. You will need hard evidence of this abuse, such as a police report or medical evaluation record. • have a substance addiction of any kind. You can use medical records or a history of drug charges for evidence. • cannot provide basic needs such as food and clothing to the child. Examples of evidence proving they cannot afford to take care of the child would be if they never bring the child back with shoes or proper clothing such as a jacket or coat during the winter. Another example would be if the child seems to always be starving when returned or the parent doesn’t have a car seat. • have a history of violent or negative behavior. You can use police reports for instances as your evidence. • are in prison because of a felony charge or have a long sentence. You will need records of them currently being in jail as well as their sentencing documents. • have exposed the child to pornography of any type on purpose. You will need actual evidence of this. You may want to have character witnesses or even photographs or video of this happening, if possible.

The courts will always keep the best interests of the child in the forefront of their decision as well as the safety and well-being of the child. This is true for terminating parental rights, custody, and more. Terms Used In Utah Code 30-3-33 • Custodial responsibility: includes all powers and duties relating to caretaking authority and decision-making authority for a child. • Uniformed service

Divorce Lawyer

When you need a Utah Divorce Attorney, please call Ascent Law LLC for your free consultation (801) 676-5506. We want to help you.

Ascent Law LLC 8833 S. Redwood Road, Suite C West Jordan, Utah 84088 United States Telephone: (801) 676-5506

Ascent Law LLC

4.9 stars – based on 67 reviews

Recent Posts

Custody Lawyers In Utah County

Buying A House With Someone Else

Tax Audit Defense Law

Divorce Or Live Together?

Can A Private Company Do Private Placement?

Fish And Game Lawyer

{ "@context": "http://schema.org/", "@type": "Product", "name": "ascentlawfirm", "description": "Ascent Law helps you in divorce, bankruptcy, probate, business or criminal cases in Utah, call 801-676-5506 for a free consultation today. We want to help you. ", "brand": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "ascentlawfirm" }, "aggregateRating": { "@type": "AggregateRating", "ratingValue": "4.9", "ratingCount": "118" }, "offers": { "@type": "Offer", "priceCurrency": "USD" } }

The post Utah Divorce Code 30-3-33 first appeared on Michael Anderson.

Source: https://www.ascentlawfirm.com/utah-divorce-code-30-3-33/

[haus-of-wu]

i’m new to suju ( i started stanning them last year) so i don’t know much about them. what’s sjm?

buckle in kids, here’s the crash course to super junior M ( 📢 cue airhorns 📢 ) 

(but seriously thank you for entertaining my desire to literally never shut up about the group of talented idiots that have been part of my life for 12? years)

SJM (M standing for Mandarin) was formed in 2008, and was SM’s first group to directly target the Chinese(-speaking) market. Similar to the way other Korean artists had made debuts in Japan and released Japanese content, SM wanted to do the same but in China, Taiwan, Hong Kong, and other Chinese-speaking markets. (yum capitalism)

If Super Junior’s original rotating/graduation concept was the predecessor to NCT, Super Junior M was the precursor to SM’s younger Chinese-facing groups, EXO-M and WayV. The key difference I’d point out is that SJM is perhaps the most intentionally multilingual in terms of their track releases; they always record a Korean version of their mini album title track, and Perfection also had a Japanese version. Meanwhile, EXO-M was separate from EXO-K at the beginning because they had two distinct groups of 6 promoting the same song in two different languages, while WayV only (so far) releases in Mandarin (barring the English version of Love Talk).

The original lineup consisted of Hangeng, Zhoumi, Siwon, Donghae, Ryeowook, Kyuhyun, and Henry. After Hangeng left SJ/SM, they added in Eunhyuk and Sungmin to round the group out to 8 members.

There was a ton of controversy surrounding the addition of Zhoumi and Henry, because they were not part of the original 12-13 members (RIP kyuhyun for not being part of Twins/Knockout LMAO) that made up Super Junior. K-ELFs/OT13s were worried that adding new members would take the spotlight away from current members and hurt the group as a whole. This “conflict” was handled very poorly, which lead to SM drawing a line between Super Junior and Super Junior M membership. Zhoumi and Henry were officially confirmed to be SJM-only members, and would never promote with SJ proper.

I’ve always been OT15 - just because members came later doesn’t mean that the team doesn’t love them any less.

They’re all adults and capable of making lineup decisions themselves, so I honestly don’t know why “fans” get so worked up about individual members and whether they should or shouldn’t be in the group and etc. The ELF fandom can honestly be a shit show in that respect. Cue substitute-leader!Eunhyuk angrily scolding ELFs (and urging present supportive ELFs to record this ment and share online) during SS6 for their disrespectful behavior towards Henry and Zhoumi during their solo stages.

like literally in 2020 all I am asking for is to let Zhoumi come out of the basement and make music with his family g o d

Video/track list for the uninitiated, and for those looking for a trip down memory lane (I’ve mostly picked live performances bc the MVs and lyric vids are fairly easy to find):

SJM’s discography mostly falls into two easily distinguishable buckets: the SJ funky sound (think Sorry Sorry, Bonamana, Mr. Simple, Sexy Free & Single), and (Chinese) ballads.

Super Girl

You’re my super girl, I’m your super man

He can’t see your beauty, the magic hidden behind your ordinary appearance

I’d do anything for you

If he says he likes you, he would wait on you even if he’s busy

(TLDR SJM said dump your subpar man who doesn’t give you the time of day)

Their OG title track that made me fall in love with them go feral in 2008 - it’s a bop. This video also gives us leader/center Hangeng.

(this is also the same song Donghae was singing during that one clip where suju pretends to forget how super clap goes)

If you watch the MV, you get SNSD’s Jessica making a cameo appearance in the house party scenes.

Perfection

It won’t do to be too rushed, love with shatter under (brute) force It won’t do to go too slow, so I’ll move at your speed

Just for you, I constantly give and I give Is it right for me to love you like this?

My heart keeps pounding, I want to see you My heart keeps pounding, I like you My heart keeps pounding, it’s all you My heart keeps pounding, I love you

Tell me you miss me Tell me you love me

I really have to thank Perfection for giving us the longest all-English rap in Super Junior history...even if the SM English is quite c r i n g e (it didn’t hit me till recently that Suju’s love for singing “boom” and “clap” started with Perfection)

something about this title track also makes me go feral (is it minor key? is it the ending verse/breakdown?)

Breakdown

My cold front breaks down for you All of my (facial) expressions reveal the way I worship you

Even if I’m covered in scars, I won’t mind if it’s for you

Maybe you think I’m too crazy (yeah you can call me crazy) In fact, I also agree with this (but I can’t stop loving you)

I specifically picked this performance because it’s the only one where they switched it up and sung the Korean verses with the Chinese chorus (VALID! because honestly...if you look up any of the Korean versions of their songs...they are very obviously subpar because the flow of the phonemes is clunky)

Swing

The general gist of the lyrics is a “cheer up, you can power through” message that’s fairly similar to Mr. Simple

The latest hit from SJM, all the way back from 2014, because SJM literally has not had a comeback since before Label SJ was an entity.

Even though it’s not my favorite track, Swing is important bc it was the first comeback they had a slew of Korean promos for (music shows, radio slots, variety show appearances), and they also placed first in China’s first ever music show broadcast.

Blue Tomorrow

By tomorrow, you will have left my side By tomorrow, I’ll be wishing on shooting stars alone Just like the ending of a movie

SJM also released a decent number of very on-brand love ballads. Blue Tomorrow is that lovely bittersweet breakup ballad you didn’t know you needed.

My Love for You

It doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter, baby I’d give you whatever you’d want Wipe away your tears, the sky would never be dark I’d be by your side everyday

An A+ sappy ballad, 10/10 would listen to again (i’ve run out of video embeds so i’ll leave it to you to find)

🙏 But yeah! I’m gonna continue holding out for an SJM comeback in 2020. 🙏

[divorcelawyergunnisonutah]

Utah Divorce Code 30-3-33

Utah Code 30-3-33: Advisory Guidelines

In addition to the parent-time schedules provided in Sections 30-3-35 and 30-3-35.5, the following advisory guidelines are suggested to govern all parent-time arrangements between parents. 1. Parent-time schedules mutually agreed upon by both parents are preferable to a court-imposed solution. 2. The parent-time schedule shall be used to maximize the continuity and stability of the child’s life. 3. Special consideration shall be given by each parent to make the child available to attend family functions including funerals, weddings, family reunions, religious holidays, important ceremonies, and other significant events in the life of the child or in the life of either parent which may inadvertently conflict with the parent-time schedule. 4. The responsibility for the pickup, delivery, and return of the child shall be determined by the court when the parent-time order is entered, and may be changed at any time a subsequent modification is made to the parent-time order.

5. If the noncustodial parent will be providing transportation, the custodial parent shall have the child ready for parent-time at the time the child is to be picked up and shall be present at the custodial home or shall make reasonable alternate arrangements to receive the child at the time the child is returned. 6. If the custodial parent will be transporting the child, the noncustodial parent shall be at the appointed place at the time the noncustodial parent is to receive the child, and have the child ready to be picked up at the appointed time and place, or have made reasonable alternate arrangements for the custodial parent to pick up the child. 7. Regular school hours may not be interrupted for a school-age child for the exercise of parent-time by either parent. 8. The court may make alterations in the parent-time schedule to reasonably accommodate the work schedule of both parents and may increase the parent-time allowed to the noncustodial parent but may not diminish the standardized parent-time provided in Sections 30-3-35 and 30-3-35.5. 9. The court may make alterations in the parent-time schedule to reasonably accommodate the distance between the parties and the expense of exercising parent-time. 10. Neither parent-time nor child support is to be withheld due to either parent’s failure to comply with a court-ordered parent-time schedule. 11. The custodial parent shall notify the noncustodial parent within 24 hours of receiving notice of all significant school, social, sports, and community functions in which the child is participating or being honored, and the noncustodial parent shall be entitled to attend and participate fully. 12. The noncustodial parent shall have access directly to all school reports including preschool and daycare reports and medical records and shall be notified immediately by the custodial parent in the event of a medical emergency. 13. Each parent shall provide the other with the parent’s current address and telephone number, email address, and other virtual parent-time access information within 24 hours of any change.

14. Each parent shall permit and encourage, during reasonable hours, reasonable and uncensored communications with the child, in the form of mail privileges and virtual parent-time if the equipment is reasonably available, provided that if the parties cannot agree on whether the equipment is reasonably available, the court shall decide whether the equipment for virtual parent-time is reasonably available, taking into consideration: a. the best interests of the child; b. each parent’s ability to handle any additional expenses for virtual parent-time; c. and any other factors the court considers material. 15. Parental care shall be presumed to be better care for the child than surrogate care and the court shall encourage the parties to cooperate in allowing the noncustodial parent, if willing and able to transport the children, to provide the child care. Child care arrangements existing during the marriage are preferred as are child care arrangements with nominal or no charge. 16. Each parent shall provide all surrogate care providers with the name, current address, and telephone number of the other parent and shall provide the noncustodial parent with the name, current address, and telephone number of all surrogate care providers unless the court for good cause orders otherwise. 17. Each parent shall be entitled to an equal division of major religious holidays celebrated by the parents, and the parent who celebrates a religious holiday that the other parent does not celebrate shall have the right to be together with the child on the religious holiday. 18. If the child is on a different parent-time schedule than a sibling, based on Sections 30-3-35 and 30-3-35.5, the parents should consider if an upward deviation for parent-time with all the minor children so that parent-time is uniform between school aged and nonschool aged children, is appropriate. 19. When one or both parents are service members or contemplating joining a uniformed service, the parents should resolve issues of custodial responsibility in the event of deployment as soon as practicable through reaching a voluntary agreement pursuant to Section 78B-20-201 or through court order obtained pursuant to Section 30-3-10. Service members shall ensure their family care plan reflects orders and agreements entered and filed pursuant to Title 78B, Chapter 20, Uniform Deployed Parents Custody, Parent-Time, and Visitation Act.

Can Children Express Preference in Utah Custody Proceedings?

There are more children of separated parents in the Utah today than ever before. With all of the emotion surrounding a separation, parents sometimes fail to include their children’s desires in custody decisions. In many states, however, judges must consider a child’s preference when determining custody. Utah courts decide child custody whenever parents can’t come to an agreement on their own. Judges must consider a number of factors when making custody decisions, including each of the following: • the parents’ past conduct and moral standards • which parent is most likely to act in the child’s best interests, including allowing the child frequent contact with the other parent • the child’s relationship with each parent • either parent’s history of domestic violence • the child’s special needs, if any • the distance between the parents’ residences • the child’s preference, if the child is old enough, and • any other factor the court deems relevant to custody.

When Will the Court Consider a Child’s Preference?

Whether a Utah court will consider a child’s preference when deciding custody depends on the child’s age and maturity. Judges will give more weight to older children’s preferences (14 and older), and disregard the opinion of children under ten. Children between ten and 14 can have limited input on custody decisions. In one case, an 11-year old boy stated a preference to live with his father, but the judge specifically stated that an 11-year old shouldn’t have control over where he lives. Judges will also look at the reasons a child prefers to live with one parent over the other. In one case, a father with custody of two boys moved them from their hometown and away from their school, friends, and other family members. The children wanted to live with their mother to be close to friends and family, and to continue going to the school they knew. The court found that these were valid reasons to want to live with their mother and gave the children’s preferences significant weight in the custody decision. On the other hand, if a child’s reasons for wanting to live one parent are immature, for example, because one parent is more lax with discipline or gives them lavish gifts, the judge won’t give the child’s preference much weight. Even if a child has a strong custodial preference, it won’t be the controlling factor in a court’s decision. A judge can always overrule a child’s preference if it’s in the child’s best interest to live with the non-preferred parent. Judges will also watch to see if parents have coached their children. In one case, a judge questioned the children and discovered that their mother had told them to lie about her boyfriend’s overnight visits in their home. The mother’s coaching was a major factor in the judge’s decision to transfer custody to the father.

Do Children Have to Testify About Their Custodial Preferences in Court?

In Utah, children can’t testify in court unless there are extenuating circumstances, and there’s no other way to obtain their testimony. Instead, judges usually interview children in court chambers to determine their custodial preferences. Normally, the court will ask the parents for permission to interview a child, but parental consent isn’t necessary if the judge decides that an interview is the only way to figure out the child’s custodial desires. Parents can’t attend the in-chambers interview. The judge may or may not allow the parent’s attorneys to be present. Often, a court reporter will record the interview. Courts can determine a child’s preference in other ways as well. In one case, the judge deciding custody considered letters written by two boys to their mom, stating that they wanted to live with her. Courts may also allow custody evaluators or mental health professionals to testify about what children have told them regarding their custodial preferences.

Unfit Parent and Child Custody Cases in Utah

If you are filing for a divorce in Utah, it is normal for you to be concerned about the welfare of your child under your ex’s custody. If you are sure that your ex is not fit to have custody of your child, there are legal options you can use to deny them this prerogative. Proving that a parent is unfit is one of the difficult areas in child custody cases in Utah. This begs the question, when is a parent deemed unfit, and how can you prove this in court? Another concern would be whether there are other options you can pursue if you are unable to prove that your ex is lacked parental fitness.

What Does It Mean To Be An Unfit Parent?

The courts normally review the conduct of both parents while they were married and how their behavior has affected their child. The courts decide whether to terminate a parent’s rights if he/she is deemed to be unfit. A parent is deemed to be incompetent or unfit if: • They are suffering from a mental condition that renders them incapable of attending to a child’s current and future physical and emotional needs • They are alcoholics or drug addicts. • They have a history of exhibiting violent behavior. • They are abusive towards the child either physically, sexually, or emotionally. • They habitually deprive the child of proper food, housing, clothing, education. • They are currently in prison for a felony and they are serving a long sentence that will deprive their child of a suitable home for over one year.

Termination of Parental Rights

In Utah, if you fear for your child’s safety or if you do not feel safe with them watching your child at all, then you do have the option of terminating their parental rights. For this process, you must prove that the parent is unable to be a fit parent.

How Do You Prove That a Parent is Unfit?

The court does not assume that there is an adversarial relationship between a child and its parent without sufficient proof. When deciding to terminate a parent’s right over their child or making other related child custody decisions, the court will usually rely on what is the best interest of the child before considering the parents’ convenience and concerns regarding a child’s safety and well-being.

You can show your ex is an unfit parent by: • Providing evidence implicating them of sexual exploitation or abuse of the child • Providing evidence that they were convicted of a felony and how this shows their incapability to look after a child • Providing evidence of child abuse either by showing a disfigurement or impairment caused by the parent that put the child’s life in danger • Providing evidence of their neglect by showing death or injury of a child that the parent was responsible for: it could be a relative’s or neighbor’s child, or even the child’s sibling • Providing evidence of the parent’s intentions to murder a child If there’s Enough Evidence Will They Terminate the Unfit Parents’ Rights? There are specific guidelines that are used in Utah to determine if a parent is unfit. The court decides whether or not to terminate rights and they look for evidence such as if they: • have a mental illness or even an emotional illness that would prevent them from taking care of the child. An example of evidence would be medical records outlining this. • are abusive (including emotionally, physically, and sexually) or even cruel to the child. You will need hard evidence of this abuse, such as a police report or medical evaluation record. • have a substance addiction of any kind. You can use medical records or a history of drug charges for evidence. • cannot provide basic needs such as food and clothing to the child. Examples of evidence proving they cannot afford to take care of the child would be if they never bring the child back with shoes or proper clothing such as a jacket or coat during the winter. Another example would be if the child seems to always be starving when returned or the parent doesn’t have a car seat. • have a history of violent or negative behavior. You can use police reports for instances as your evidence. • are in prison because of a felony charge or have a long sentence. You will need records of them currently being in jail as well as their sentencing documents. • have exposed the child to pornography of any type on purpose. You will need actual evidence of this. You may want to have character witnesses or even photographs or video of this happening, if possible.

The courts will always keep the best interests of the child in the forefront of their decision as well as the safety and well-being of the child. This is true for terminating parental rights, custody, and more. Terms Used In Utah Code 30-3-33 • Custodial responsibility: includes all powers and duties relating to caretaking authority and decision-making authority for a child. • Uniformed service

Divorce Lawyer

When you need a Utah Divorce Attorney, please call Ascent Law LLC for your free consultation (801) 676-5506. We want to help you.

Ascent Law LLC 8833 S. Redwood Road, Suite C West Jordan, Utah 84088 United States Telephone: (801) 676-5506

Ascent Law LLC

4.9 stars – based on 67 reviews

Recent Posts

Custody Lawyers In Utah County

Buying A House With Someone Else

Tax Audit Defense Law

Divorce Or Live Together?

Can A Private Company Do Private Placement?

Fish And Game Lawyer

{ "@context": "http://schema.org/", "@type": "Product", "name": "ascentlawfirm", "description": "Ascent Law helps you in divorce, bankruptcy, probate, business or criminal cases in Utah, call 801-676-5506 for a free consultation today. We want to help you. ", "brand": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "ascentlawfirm" }, "aggregateRating": { "@type": "AggregateRating", "ratingValue": "4.9", "ratingCount": "118" }, "offers": { "@type": "Offer", "priceCurrency": "USD" } }

The post Utah Divorce Code 30-3-33 first appeared on Michael Anderson.

from Michael Anderson https://www.ascentlawfirm.com/utah-divorce-code-30-3-33/