#OOF... you know i don't even know what to say about these results. like 'the patron saint of things that break AND left behind?'

[mad-hunts]

what are you the patron saint of?

patron saint of bones.

patron saint of frameworks. of structures. of solidity. patron saint of things that break. patron saint of things that are left behind. the bones survive long after the body, the building: what is there left for them, when the rest has gone? what do bones do with nothing to hold around them? who holds the bones?

tagged by: @divingdownthehole and @babydxhl ! (thank you :D)

tagging: @sanguine-salvation , @question-marked, @fanplastik, @twcfaces, @qu-tipie, and @violetgleams!

[kabuki-writes]

Since the emperors canonically have mommy issues. What do you think if their dear empress gets pregnant??? 👀👀👀

First of all: Hell yes! THOSE EMPERORS HAVE SERIOUS MOMMY ISSUES! Like holy Jupiter!

I mean we don't really know what happened to their mother according to GII, but since we get a hint on their father being violent towards his children and the mother not being present in the movie, i personally have the headcanon that she either died in childbed or during the twin's early youth. A lot of Roman Emperors and Generals took their sons with them on war campaigns, to train them in the ways of military - a good example for this is Caligula, who accompanied his father Germanicus in Germania and got the name "Caligula" (latin for "tiny soldier boots") from the Legionaries. Given that Septimius Severus was a military man himself, i could imagine him taking Geta and Caracalla with him. And that meant quite a rough childhood for them, especially for Caracalla, whom i headcanon to be the "least favorite son" due to him being mentally ill. So the twins don't really know motherly love or someone, who deeply cares for them in a way that a mother would do - something they will seek in one way or another later in life.

Before i digress too quickly.. what do i think about them being confronted by the Empress' pregnancy? First of all, i will not spoiler anything for the fic, so this is my general headcanon only:

I think Geta would be very overwhelmed at first, but since i headcanon a breeding kink for that man, he will quickly be super happy about the news and do ANYTHING to pamper and protect his Empress. And i think that he would be a good father actually. I mean, he kinda had to protect his twin brother throughout their youth and he did it with brotherly love. He had witnessed firsthand the terrible nature of his own father and therefore i would not say that he traps into the same personality. Maybe a child would even ground him a little bit more?

With Caracalla... oof. He would be super excited of the news, always asking about the pregnancy as well as he would advise all the servants to care about the Empress 24/7. But let's face it, this man is very mentally unstable, and speaking realistically here, he is not going to be the best father material. Not because he would get agressive towards his child or something, but because he is kind of a child himself. He would kinda care for a baby the same way he would for Dondus, but that is a monkey! Also he would quickly lose his patience or be bored by the way that a baby is not able to do much stuff, which results in him giving it into the hands of handmaidens very quickly. Also he NEEDS attention all the time, having a baby around that needs the Empress' full attention, it could end up in him getting frustrated about this as well.

[jajasmiinee]

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bf!chris sturniolo

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warnings : fluff!

y/n

chris

matt

nick

english is not my first language so i'm terribly sorry if there's any english error

enjoyy!

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ꔫ bf!chris - who would buy you anything you lay your eyes on

✧ you're at the mall with chris, your boyfriend. the main reason you're there is to buy a new shoes for you. and you already bought one. you and chris passes a boutique store when you saw a pretty pink dress with a flower design. well, you just took a glance and continue to walk. you'd be lying if i say i don't want 'em, but you felt bad to spend more money. your thoughts were cut off when suddenly chris took your hand and walk through the boutique store. "you want this dont ya? then let's buy it" without waiting for your response, he already paid and give it to you with the brightest smile

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ꔫ bf!chris - who would tie your shoes everytime

✧ you and chris are just taking a night walk. you finally noticed that your shoe lace untied "oof-" you knelt down to tie it back when chris stopped you "no! let me do it, baby!" he quickly tie your shoe lace and pat your head

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ꔫ bf!chris - knows what you need

✧ "urgh- i just got my period this morning.." you walk towards to chris that's sitting at the table, taking a seat beside him "can you help me buy the-" within seconds, he put a bunch of pad on the table "no.. i want strawber-" you couldn't finish your sentence when chris push the pads away and he gave you a nice cut strawberries onto the tables "you know i likes it with bob-" "right behind you sweetheart" chris replied while still scrolling through tiktok "hm?!" your eyes widen when you saw boba milk tea without.. boba..? "where are the pear-" "oop sorry, that's nick's. here's yours" he gave you a milk tea WITH boba "hmp!" you slammed the tables and so do chris "oh you think you're funny? oh so you're suddenly copying me now? hmp hmp hmp!" you tried to hit chris but he managed to avoid it "hihii" you leans in as a joke, well, chris kisses you back.

(inspired by celine and david tt !!)

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ꔫ bf!chris - who wouldn't go to sleep angry at you

✧ you and chris are tugged into bed, facing the opposite side of each other. y'all got a quite massive argument earlier which is resulting this type of situation. you could feel the loo light movements beside you, chris. seems like he's uncomfortable. "y/n my lovee??" as you were about to fell asleep, he called out you name "hm?" you answer in irritation "love look at me.." chris pull your waist closer "whatt..?" you furrowed your eyebrows "i'm sorry about earlier.. i was being an asshole. please don't be mad at me" chris snuggle into the crook of your neck "hm hm yea.." you answer, half asleep "ooow lovee!! do you even paying attention??" chris pouts "i heard you loud and clear chris, yess i forgive you sweetheart" you chuckles softly, your eyes flickering in sleepiness "yayy okayy" chris laugh happily and cuddle with you. falling asleep in each others arm

(based on when chris said that he couldn't sleep when he's mad to his brotherssssss)

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ꔫ bf!chris - who's never embarrassed to match with y/n in public

✧ you and your boyfriend brothers decided to eat out together, to a fast food or anywhere that's delicious. matt and nick was already in the car waiting for you and chris to jump in "can you be faster?!" matt shouted "we're done!" you smiles brightly "go- oh!" matt eyes widen as he looks at you and chris. wearing matching spiderman hoodie "seriously?" nick laugh "why nottt?" you whined "fine get in the car i don't give a fuck about it anymore" matt rolls his eyes "you're just jealous mate"

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ꔫ bf!chris - who wouldn't let you do any work when you're sick

✧ you have a quite high fever today. you snuggles in your bed all day, letting chris take care of you "ngh" you whine as you tried to get up "woah woah woaaahhh! where are you goiiinggg?" chris hold your shoulder and squeezing it lightly "i need to tidy up my panties chris. it's been a long time since i tidy it up" you give chris a weak smile "no worries, i can do it!" chris pat his chest, prouuuddd "chris. it's my PANTIES. you? tidy? my panties?" you raised an eyebrow "i've seen them so many times doll. i even fucked you in them" chris replied with a wicked smile "oop. fine then" you lay back down "well i'm not wrong though"

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ꔫ bf!chris - who would never let you pay when you're with him. even if you insist

✧ you went to a coffee shop with chris. he wanted to follow even though he doesn't drink coffee that much. you're at the counter, taking your drink. a matcha latte. chris hate matcha. and matcha with coffee?? oh man.. "how much is it?" you ask the cashier "that would be $7.80" the cashier replied "oka-" you were about to pick up your card when you suddenly hear ‘bing!’ "huh?" you lift your head up a bit to look at the small screen. seeing ‘payment success!’ you look at chris. forming wicked smile on his face

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ꔫ bf!chris - who would share with you even though he hate sharing

✧ you stay at the sturniolo's house for a quite fee days due to some renovation to your house. you lay on chris's bed while him and his brothers are streaming. you felt thirsty. you took a glance at chris, seeing he's drinking pepsi. you approaches him and asked "chrissss, can i take a sip please?" you pouts "yea of course, y'know what. take it all i can take a new one" Chris replied "really??" you gasp "mhm!" chris nodded with a reassuring smile "thank youu" you jump excitedly while taking a sip

---- ☆

ꔫ bf!chris - who would satisfy all your cravings

✧ you were sitting in the living room with chris. you stomach grumbles, you came across some wingstop mukbang. "oof.." you mumble as you watch the person eat. "babyy" you called chris out "ye- oh" chris was caught of guard when you gave him the cutest eyes "what do you want sweetheart?" chris ask with a sly smirk "hihiii can i have wingstop pleaseee?" you whine "of course" chris immediately order some

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so short man i thought it was longerrrr

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: Delirious

David Niall Wilson: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the author who writes reality Wilson: OR…? Wilson: does reality write her???? Koontz: whoaaaaa! Wilson: i know right????

Wilson: so there's this best-selling author King: oh i love it already! King: see that's what i like to see, a relatable protagonist Wilson: a best-selling author of sexy potboilers King: this just gets better and better!

Wilson: so she's writing these sexy potboilers about a sexy reporter who has sexy adventures Wilson: with sexy results! Edward Lee: bro why are we talking about this writer bro? we should be talking about this sexy reporter bro! Wilson: oh don't worry Wilson: we will!

Wilson: this author worries that she might just be a hack Wilson: until she finds a mysterious website Wilson: a website that causes her writing to become reality Wilson: OR…? Wilson: reality to become her writing! Koontz: whooooa! Wilson: with sexy results!

Wilson: in a fugue state, she writes bizarre stories Wilson: about a real fucked up panopticon HOA Wilson: or a kid who commits suicide in church for the attention Wilson: but are are her stories becoming reality? or is reality becoming her stories???? Koontz: whoaaaa!

Wilson: the question of whether her stories are becoming real OR whether she's somehow writing about things that are real without knowing it requires some investigation Wilson: [stroking chin] if only there was some sexy reporter on that beat

Koontz: oh! oh! but david! there IS a sexy reporter! Koontz: oh darn wait never mind, i forgot that she's not real Koontz: she's only a character in the writer's stor- Koontz: oh! Wilson: now you're catching on, dean!

Wilson: now it seems like she controls reality with her own computer! King: oh, like the- Wilson: NOT like your 1983 short story Word Processor of the Gods King: oh then like Wilson: NOT like the classic 1991 John Candy vehicle Delirious!

King: wait how'd you know what i was going to say? King: unless you Wilson: [reveals computer to audience, winks]

King: ya know, this reminds me of my story Word Processor of the Gods King: it's about the scariest thing I can think of King: having a fat wife

King: this guy has an awful fat wife and a shitty son King: but he alters reality with a magic word processor to erase his shitty son King: but it turns out… now his wife, never having had kids, is even FATTER! King: cursed by his own hubris!

King: like, she was ridiculously fat before but now King: oof! like, she can't even fit through the door she's so fat! King: she's gotta be, like, 300 pounds! Barker: really steve? 300 pounds huh? King: i can't even conceive of a higher number!

King: so the writer uses his magic processor to delete his shitty son and awful wife from reality Tabitha King: Joe Hill: King: oh i wasn't talking about you guys! King: i would NEVER King: you guys are the best!

[ticklish-n-stuff]

Tickletober day #5: Boo!

This is a sequel to my first ever Kazuha fic 'cause I'm mentally ill for Kazuha, if you couldn't tell

Don't be surprised if most of my genshin fics end up being about Kazuha

Look at me go, 2 fics in one day

Enjoy<3

Also on ao3

______________________________________________________________

Beidou x Kazuha (platonic)

Lee: Kazuha

Ler: Beidou

Warnings: Tickles

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What better time to strike some sweet revenge than spooky month? 

Beidou surely hasn’t forgotten about Kazuha’s prank during his so-called massage. She had been plotting her move for a while. As everyone knew, the samurai was very perceptive and catching him off guard is no easy task. Though, if Beidou was anything, it was stubborn. But most importantly, she tackled each task head on, much like now, literally. 

“Boo!” she yelled out like a war cry as she swept Kazuha off his feet, carrying him bridal style, much to the samurai’s embarrassment.

“Captain? What are you doing?” 

She could tell that Kazuha had gotten flustered from that, but was still hiding it well behind his polite tone, that wouldn’t do. 

“Teaching you what happens when you mess with this ol’ captain~” with that, she threw the boy over her shoulder. Chuckling in amusement when she heard a startled yelp. She carried him like a sack of potatoes over to her quarters, ungraciously dropping him into a pile of pillows. 

A small ‘oof’ could be heard when Kazuha fell on the ground. His face slowly grew red like maple leaves after being carried like that with such ease. Beidou truly was something. “Captain, let’s talk about thihiHISSS!” a squeal emitted from the samurai’s mouth when Beidou pounced on him, her fingers getting to work swiftly as they made contact with the anemo user’s sides. Scribbling softly over the clothed skin. 

The captain let out a low whistle, amazed by how easily the usually calm samurai could crumble from a few wiggly fingers. “My, my, who knew that the ever strong Kazuha was as ticklish as a little boy~”

“Ahahah! Beidou, plehehease!” a whine came out of the white haired male. His brain felt so scrambled up in ticklishness that he didn’t know whether to cover his face or try pushing at Beidou’s hands, resulting in an adorably funny Kazuha flailing his limbs all over the place. 

“Please what? Please keep going? Gladly~ I’m having the time of my life watching you lose all that composure” Beidou has her usual grin on her face, or at least that’s what most would say. There was a softer, endeared look, one that the samurai would’ve noticed if he wasn’t so busy laughing his pretty little head off. 

His breathy bouts of laughter grew more frantic and squeaky when he felt Beidou’s fingers lightly pressing between each rib. Each jab made him want to jump out of his skin. “You know that’s nohohot what I meheheant! Ack! Beidohohou!” Kazuha’s hands finally settled onto weakly gripping Beidou’s wrists, practically putting no effort into getting her to stop. If he could talk, he’d probably brush it off as him having lost his strength from laughing so much, but I doubt that explanation could’ve even fooled himself. 

“No? But you sure seem like you’re enjoying yourself. Just look at you! All smiles and giggles, without actually trying to stop me~” her fingers managed to reach the soft spot under his arms, watching Kazuha double down into another fit of laughter. 

The samurai could feel his head grow all fuzzy. The teasing on top of the tickling was doing a number on him. The embarrassment of the captain having figured him out so easily made him feel even more vulnerable. All he could really do now was allow himself to take it, leaning his head back as those joyful titters fell out of his mouth like cascades. 

“See? Much better when you let yourself enjoy it” yeah this was supposed to be a sort of punishment as revenge, but getting to hear Kazuha’s unfiltered laugh for once was way better. At most, all she had heard from the samurai were the usual polite chuckles. Seeing that persona slip out felt more rewarding than any treasure. 

Her fingers eventually stopped tormenting the samurai’s underarms. Instead opting to slip under his garments to reach his bare middle. She let out a chuckle when Kazuha flinched over the cold fingers touching his warm skin. 

“Eheheheh! C-Captain, not thehehere…!” Kazuha would arch his back before falling flat again, the feeling of the captain’s fingers softly tracing around his sensitive stomach really drove him up the wall. 

“Pshh, stop denying it already. You ain’t fooling me.” Beidou smirked when Kazuha squealed, a whine getting mixed into it when her index finger slipped into his navel, causing him to giggle up a storm. 

“Nohohoho! I cahahan’t! Plehehehease!!” Kazuha pleaded desperately, but the joy in his tone was unmistaken. He was just that ticklish.

“It’s like a giggle spot… or a giggle button! Just have to press here and you giggle like a madman!~” she kept playfully poking and prodding at the small indent until Kazuha started to hiccup through his giggles. Absolutely adorable! Could make a grown man squeal from cuteness. 

With that, Beidou finally relented on the ticklish torment, letting out a hearty laugh when Kazuha desperately gasped for breath between his hiccups. “You okay there, kid?”

Kazuha responded with a shaky thumbs up, too embarrassed out of his mind over what just happened, and his unstopping hiccups. He really was turned into a mess of a person. Definitely going to keep this in mind next time he decides to mess with Beidou. 

“Good~” the electro user playfully ruffled his hair, her smile turning more fond as Kazuha’s hiccups slowly subsided, leaving behind a blinding smile from laughing so much. It was very different from the usual smiles he gave, which were normally more reserved and small, but this one could put a diamond to shame from how valuable it was. “Not gonna lie, you can be pretty adorable~” she teased, chuckling when the samurai let out a flustered groan.

Looks like there’d be only tricks during this spooky month, not that Kazuha minded.

______________________________________________________________

[ryuichirou]

So i'm reading your yandere/hypnosis post and i get to Vil being utterly jealous enough to try on Rook; and it makes me think about his drive and the second place club lol (Leona, Jamil and Vil) like D: poor them they're always outranked by that ooonnee person! Can our boys catch a break? whether that person knows or not I always tend to feel bad--especially for Vil since i remember his inner speech in book 5 and the fact that his most trusted person ended up being such a big fan of the person who makes him feel like second best. wait i love rookvil i think i made myself sad LOL NOoo--aahh I rambled im sorry, i guess the main question i wanna ask is what do you think about those particular three always having to come second to their respective counterparts? I think your opinions and insight is so interesting that i'd like to know your thoughts on this! and you don't have to answer for all three characters if you dont wanna I was just curious on your thoughts! Anyways, have a good day and stay hydrated! it's hot this summer oof

Anon! Took some time to get back to you as well, sorry for the late reply. Summer is already over, but it’s still SO HOT…

Without diving into just how much I love the ending of book5 and the whole Rook-Vil-Neige thing (I feel like I talk about it all the time LOL)… It is interesting how these Vil, Jamil and Leona always get to be second best, isn’t it? But ironically, I don’t think I ever grouped them in my head based on this. Maybe it’s because of how different their situations are? But also now that I think about it…

Vil isn’t better than Neige, and he tries to be better by working hard.

Jamil is better than Kalim, but he can’t be better because of his status.

Leona may or may not be better than Falena in some ways, but he doesn’t even bother.

Ignoring the fact that this “better” is always subjective and in actuality things are more complex than that… and also trying not to sound like an armchair therapist that’s just telling anime boys “you should have done this you idiot”, but.

Jamil got the most development in that sense because this internal conflict is very straightforward, in fact, he was the easiest one to describe with these little sentences I just wrote. Jamil wants to stop pretending to be worse than he is, he wants to work hard and to show how great he is without being forced to get worse results than Kalim. He is only the second best because he consciously allows Kalim to be the best whenever he is given this choice. And he isn’t always given a choice: a lot of times the system decides for him, just like when Crowley chose Kalim to be the housewarden. Still, even in that situation, Jamil knows for a fact the shape, the density and the nature of this ceiling he can’t break, he’s been aware of it for his entire life. This is why it’s easy to pinpoint moments of Jamil’s growth: when he expresses how much he hates pretending to be worse than Kalim, when he says that he won’t hold back anymore, when he gets to dance and rap at VDC as a lead-vocalist and, ironically, when he gets scolded by Leona in ch6 (I have some issues with their sub-story, but still).

With Vil, the difficult part is to understand what exactly he understands as “beauty”: I mentioned it in a bunch of Vil-centric posts, but we’ve seen how in-canon he was described as too beautiful, therefore not as relatable as Neige. So this isn’t about beauty, and in a way I think this isn’t about Neige either. This is about Vil’s own feeling of self-worth and self-expression, and how people perceive him; Neige is just a very good point of reference, a good metric, especially considering that they always end up being compared to each other and that comparing numbers of followers is easy and seemingly objective (which is a cruel trap a lot of people fall for).

What I’m trying to say is that Vil isn’t fully and constantly aware of “the shape of this ceiling”, or rather why he can’t reach Neige; this is why we had that ending to his book. This isn’t solely about skill or quality, but those are the main things Vil focuses on.

And Leona… I am not sure about him, to be honest, because it boils down to one problem that I have with him: I am not sure what he wants.

It’s easy to compare him to Jamil because it seems like his issue lies in being frustrated with the system: he will never be the first because Falena is literally the first born son. But I don’t think it’s fair to compare a prince with a servant like that, because even though Leona wouldn’t be the king, he still has a lot of power and opportunities, and we’ve seen Falena valuing his strong points and expressing that he wants Leona to help him. One might even say that he invited Leona to be by his side, as a brother and an equal. But this isn’t what Leona wants in actuality, is it?

His “ceiling” seems to be obvious, but I guess his actual frustrations lie elsewhere, and those are kind of difficult to see because of how inconsistent he is. But maybe it’s just me being frustrated with his character again lol

I am replying so late because I really thought I would have some kind of conclusion about this whole thing, but it seems like I don’t lol Still, it was an interesting topic to think about.

Thank you for your ask! <3

[mylevisdontfitanymore]

Bucky getting gassy and Steve blushing at it>>>

This is so peak, embarrassing belly kink brain rot of an idea but you know what I can not for the LIFE of me stop thinking about that related to gassy burps and hiccups and sloshing gurgles of bubbles moving around in Bucky's bloated, drum-taut belly?

Steve turning Bucky into his personal beer brewery.

Hear me out *grabbing you by the shirt collar* Stay with me *shaking you* You have to hear me out *through gritted teeth* I promise I'm normal 🫣😤

Warning for unbeta'd, unrealistic belly kink nonsense under the read more. Lots of burps/onomatopoeias, bloating, intox kink, alcohol consumption, etc.

I started thinking about Bucky with a beer belly here, getting too drunk to stifle his burps and instead letting them slip through wide open beer-wet lips - loose and slurred - but then I took a nose dive into thinking about Bucky with a beer belly so big that Steve starts teasing him, saying he's a walking waddling barrel, Bucky as a barrel on legs got me thinking of kegs and tanks and, oh, how deep the spiral goes, because now all I can think of is Steve brewing beer inside Bucky's stretched, spherical belly.

He's a waddling, stumbling, clumsy brewery just for Steve.

He soaks in all that alcohol immediately and is destroyed by it. Bucky is hardly able to keep himself upright and definitely not able to walk in a straight line with that wide, round tummy sticking out in front of him, leading the way, entering every room a few seconds before him (if he even fits into the room... lately, a few doorways have been feeling sensuously tight).

His cheeks are constantly flushed a bright red color because he's fucking drunk as shit. Also, his words are mostly incoherent as a tumble of tongue and gassy burps between drawn-out moans of agonizing pleasure from how it feels to constantly be brewing. Pressure. Always growing. Stretching. Straining. Bloating with active bubbles - this carbonation that tickles the inside of his poor, abused stomach, causing him to constantly paw at his tummy, whining because he wants to itch, he wants to scratch, he wants to pop. He feels like he might burst - he looks like he might explode with all the stretch marks painting his flushed, solid belly. It's a lot.

If he isn't panting through moans while he gropes uselessly at his beyond-bloated middle, then he's gurgling through panting breaths, his chest heaving while his gut sloshes and groans, all that gas from the brewing driving him insane. It builds and builds until there's nothing he can do but let his mouth hang open wide and have it come out, rude and obscene, "uuuuuuuuuurp, buuurp, boooorp, urp, hic, uurp! Ugh? Guuh, oof, ow, ohh, ow, m-my-hic!-belly. It huuuurts! Buuurp!"

That's getting ahead of it all, though 🥵

When it starts, Steve makes him begin from the basics. Bucky is going to be good for him as a sweet, fat little personal brewery all for him, totally custom.

The water and yeast go down easy enough, Bucky's more than used to bloating his gut - he'd have to be with as tubby as he's gotten, you don't get so broad and heavy without pushing your limits, yanno - and his eyes go heavily lidded with the familiar taste of baked goods. There's nothing that makes Bucky blush these days like fluffy, warm bread; bread makes him think of being stuffed; Bucky likes being stuffed, and Bucky likes thinking about dough, too. His body is getting doughy enough these days - puffy, plump, and plush. Steve knows it, too, he's always squeezing, grabbing, shaping, and fucking kneading his fat as if it's overproofed dough. Although the barley and hops are a little more rough. The taste is strong - bitting and pungent - so it makes him gag once or twice, but... Bucky's never minded strong tastes, has he?

And he can more than stomach it knowing what the end result will be, something so heavy and massive that he'll struggle against the onslaught of hedonism. He wants that. He's greedy. He wants more. He'll get more until he regrets it, pinned and whimpering. So, he can do it, even if he pulls a face, throwing the pure hops and barley back. There's a reward.

The reward builds up. Fermenting. Pressure inside him. Bulging, swelling, bloating, surging, brewing, there are so many words for the delicious feelings Bucky can't help but weaken in the wake of. It turns him on to no end to be an object for Steve, just something greedy and entitled that needs filling 🥴🥴

It takes cock-teasing weeks to get to the point where he's uncontrollably gassy, burping recklessly, moaning raggedly through hiccups, groaning as his gut burbles, glorps, sloshes with liquid and gas. He enjoys the entire lead up, though - both Steve and Bucky do. The sexual tension of watching Bucky transform into a brewery tank consumes them both with its own kind of gluttony. Every day, they check in, meaning, every day Steve prods his tummy with a sharp, unforgiving finger to find that he's "not full enough," "not tight enough," "not round enough," or even, "not drunk enough," and topping him up so he's exactly all those things and more.

More.

Gulp.

Swallow.

Slosh.

Gurgle.

All that alcohol is an aphrodisiac, too, so not only is he red-cheeked, sweaty, and slurring, he's hypersensitive to every touch. The sensation of his active tummy against his too-tight clothes (when he's wearing them) makes him shudder. Bucky humps against solid that comes into contact with his more and more hidden dick. He can't help it. It feels good, unspeakably fucking pleasurable between the normally arousing friction and the crossed-wires sparks that feeling his full belly jiggle and slosh, too. It's overfull ecstasy. If Steve isn't prodding, groping, or wobbling his bloated gut, Bucky's patting it like it's its own entity. Petting it. Pressing on it. Cradling it. Holding it's heft. Forcing more gas out of himself. Bucky has no thoughts. He's as dumb as a rock, or more fittingly, a keg, living in a haze. Nothing matters, just opening his mouth and swallowing when Steve tells him to chug more water, eat more yeast, down more hops, and have some more barley, too, that's it, good boy.

Uuuurp.

Hnnngh-ghh-hic. Hic. Hic!

Buuuuuuuuurp.

Oooohh.

"Sh-St-Steeeve, 'm shhho full!"

It's heavy, sloshing liquid, fizzing bubbles, and frothing foam bulging his belly so massively. It's good. Distended with all that volume of pure fucking beer. His belly ripples when he shifts - he's shifting less and less, now, too, spreading his legs so fucking wide it makes his thighs ache like the muscles around his ribs ache, trying to keep that gut attached to him as it swells more, dropping down between his legs, putting exquisite pressure on his cock, keeping him moaning. Every inch of him throbs with the brewing process. It's a vibration of pleasure. Complete overfullness. The beer has taken him over. He is nothing but beer. He will ferment, brew, and expand until he bursts. He feels it all the way from the depths of his overstretched intestines to his distended stomach to his overused esophagus. He's full up.

So full.

Beer. Gas. Foam. Foam. Gas. Beer. Beer. Gas. Foam. Foam. Gas. Beer. Beer. Gas. Foam.

Unfathomable fullness.

He's dizzy, euphoric, and sloppy. It's so fucking hot, seeing how far he's stretched and how obedient he's become - folding to anything Steve wants, committed to his ideal of debauchery. And it's not just the burps that he can't keep down the drunker he gets. He can't tamp down belches or any noisy coming from his massive, gassy tummy. It's obscene.

Grrrgle.

Slosh.

Glug-glug.

Fizzzzz.

Pop. Pop. Pop.

Rrrrumble.

Hissss.

Buuurp.

Churn.

Booooooooorp.

His belly lets out a deep gurgle, the beer inside sloshing and churning and fizzing as he moaned, "pleazze… fill me mmmngh-more,"

Guuuurgle.

Fizz-fizz.

"Ohhhgod, 's brewingg, inside me, I can feel it - urrrrrp! - I can't stop swelling! Mmmngh!"

"M'gonna loooz'sit... every sslosh, 'very bubble, fizzing, rumbling, buuuuuurp, can feel it building..."

"I'm full of beer, St-Steeeeve, all sl-sl-fuck-sloshy, heavy beer. Buuurp! It's stretchin me'smuch!"

"Noth-thing but a keg." Hiccup! "Fat, swollen keg." Gurgle, moaning, "I can't ssstop."

[matan4il]

Watched Eurovision last weekend and tried to only pay attention to the music but oof, the Israel derangement was horrid. Were any of the other contestants nice to Eden or at the very least not total assholes to her because where's she's from? Please tell me someone was decent or even mildly professional.

Hi Nonnie!

I'm glad to tell you that there WERE people who were personally decent to Eden and the Israeli team, from what I've heard.

One of the parts that suck is that it feels like talking about it too loudly might bring those people into the line of fire. I can say that about myself, that while I was treated awfully by some people in fandom, I've had people be absolutely wonderful to me, and I've had to keep my mouth shut and not thank or celebrate them publicly, because that would have drawn the fire to them. They absolutely do not deserve that. And it sucks that I can't even be openly grateful. Same with the people friendlier to Eden, we Israelis have heard stuff, so we know of them and are thankful, but I don't think anyone has said anything too public, because no one wants to endanger them.

Still, I hope it's been long enough since the final, that we can safely share a few things. Also, I'll emphasize that most of this is hearsay, I can't verify any of it, because it wasn't published officially, this is just the stuff we hear.

The Israeli singer who grew up in and was representing Luxembourg was really lovely with Eden. Tali could have easily avoided ANY association with Eden, so I give her credit for not doing that. The German singer was the nicest to the Eden and Israeli delegation, and I also heard that Germany actually stood up for Israel when the EBU wanted to disqualify it, rightly pointing out the differences between this situation and Russia's ban. I heard good things about the Austrian singer as well, the Latvian, and the Georgian singer. There's probably more that aren't popping into my mind right now, but this is a start, and it's nice knowing kind people, who won't bully a 20 years old singer just because of her nationality, do exist, right?

Another part that sucks is that even some of the people who were nice backstage to Eden, were only willing to do so away from the public eye. I think the most extreme one is the 2023 runner up, Finnish performer Käärijä. He ran into Eden backstage and was totally cool with them doing a short, quick rendition of his ESC song together (which you can see in the link below). It was clearly just two people who love music having fun together, but once the vid was posted online, people started attacking him for supporting genocide (because that's not a leap of logic at all), and he quickly put out a message denouncing everything he's said and done ever, including being born. Then he just had to reassure all of his bullies that he's "okay" even further. The Norwegian 2023 singer who was supposed to deliver her country's jury results had already announced she won't as an anti-Israel measure, so when he was supposed to give the Finnish jury vote, he simply announced he won't, letting people make the connection, and figure out for themselves that it was an anti-Israel move.

Still I think you can take the ones who weren't loudly nasty to Eden, and assume most were nice enough to her privately, even if not publicly. To figure out who those probably were, on top of the ones I mentioned above, I'll just give a short rundown of the performers who were being awful about Israel to different degrees (so you can figure out who was at least decent by way of elimination): Ireland, Belgium, Switzerland, the UK, the Netherlands, Greece, Portugal, Lithuania, Norway, Finland, Slovenia, San Marino, Denmark.

I hope I helped... Have a good day! xoxox

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

[grandlinedreams]

... hi, it's me again ʕ⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴥ⁠ꈍ⁠ʔ i'm on finals week so i need a heavy dose of daydreaming with my comfort characters. can i request some hc (or an escenario, again whichever you prefer) about law helping the reader to study for an exam? maybe his reaction to the reader thinking that their grade wasn't good enough after taking the test? (great score, not the full mark) thank you sm ! i love your writing and i hope you have a great week and take proper rests mwah .⁠｡⁠*⁠♡

Oof, finals week is always a doozy :( you've got this bb, I'm hoping that you got wonderful scores!!

[Heads up!: modern!au, fluff, comfort!]

You've been studying for weeks. Hours upon hours spent poring over your notes and text books, making flashcards and begging Law to help you review them, make sure that your grasp of the content was solid.

Highlighter stained fingers and paragraph after paragraph ㅡ burning the midnight oil until you can't keep your eyes open any longer. Law helps where he can, both in studying (he even drags out some of his old notes) and in making sure that you don't turn this into a detriment to your health.

("I'm not just your boyfriend," he intones as he more or less pushes you towards the bed, "I'm also a doctor. And I don't want you to pass out, so bed. Now.")

And ultimately, you have a good feeling that all of your hardwork will pay off ㅡ you're a good student, you pay attention, you ask questions when you need to.

It feels like a slap to the face when your score doesn't reflect that. At first you think you've read it wrong, trace it with a finger and mouth it to yourself ㅡ and then disappointment slams into you like a lead weight.

With yourself, with the material, even your professor (who, oddly enough, is one of the sweeter people you've had for a class) ㅡ it isn't fair.

You tried. You tried so hard ㅡ and it still isn't enough.

Law's first warning that things aren't okay is the fact that you don't answer your cellphone when he tries to call and ask what you want for dinner. The second is that the lights are off in your shared apartment, something that never happens (both of you have odd sleep schedules even when things are normal and there is almost always a light on somewhere) ㅡ and that he can't find you.

Your shoes are at the door, jacket hung up, along with your keys ㅡ you're home, but where is the question.

With limited space, there is only a handful of places you can be and when he sees you're not in the room that doubles as both a study and his office, he checks the bedroom.

Yor back is to him and were it not for the tremble of your shoulders, he'd think you were asleep. But you're not, you're crying and his heart sinks.

"[Name]," he says as he approaches, coaxing you up and into his arms, "why are you crying?"

It takes a minute or two for you to answer, sniffling as you take a shuddering breath. "Got the results of the exam back."

Law frowns. "And?" He prompts gently, wiping at your face, tear tracks cooling on your skin. He watches you, the tremble of your lips as you tell him your score, and his frown deepens. "That isn't that bad," he says, "that's only a couple points off."

"But I studied my ass off, Law!" Frustration colors your tone. "I worked so hard to ace that exam and it doesn't feel like I did enough."

Law understands the need for perfection, for everything to have a place and for nothing to be subpar ㅡ but he also knows how detrimental that can be for both your self-esteem and your overall health.

"You didn't do anything wrong," Law says, cradling your face gently. "You're still on the higher end of score for that exam, [Name]. And you can always ask your professor where she docked points and why."

Law has a point, and you sniffle before you press into him, sighing as he rubs your back. "You're right. I'm sorry for crying, that's stupid."

"No, it isn't." Law chides gently. "But these past few weeks have been stressful for you. I brought home dinner, and I can start a bath for you after, if you'd like."

You press a soft kiss to his shoulder. "Can we cuddle after?"

"Of course."

You hum, letting yourself cling to your boyfriend a little longer. "Sounds perfect."

[bimobuddy]

Opposites

Decided to write a short little thing

Sfw tickling

FOP:ANW

Also I'm imagining them as human sized

Lee!Irep, Ler!Peri (little bit of a switch near the end for both of them)

"Get back here!"

"Stay away from me!"

Peri had been chasing after his counterpart for close to ten minutes now. The Dimmadome house was empty with Dale being away on a trip and Dev spending the day with Hazel, giving these two all the space in the world to fly and chase after each other.

Especially since Earth was safe for both of them. Irep couldn't enter Fairy-World, and Peri wouldn't last a day in Anti-Fairy-World.

Irep had been doing everything in his power to make this relaxing day hell for Peri; using magic to bring furniture to life, turning into a snake to coil around him tightly, and worst of all, speaking in brainrot. Safe to say the fairy eventually snapped.

Peri locked onto his target and gave his large butterfly wings extra power in their flapping, catching up and tackling Irep out of the air, who landed with a loud, "OOF!"

The anti turned his head and glared. "You could have broken my wing!"

"But I didn't." Peri smirked, immediately shoving his hands under Irep's leather jacket to scribble at his sides, resulting in the other to slam his arms down and go silent, holding back light giggles.

Oh yeah, opposite self, opposite spots.

He reached back and started to squeeze the back of Irep's knee, causing him to kick his legs frantically and burst out into panicked giggles, immediately trying to crawl away.

"Yeah, I figured it out: opposites. You're done for." Peri teased. "Actually, now that I think about it, I'm not super ticklish... here~" gentle fingers dug into his lower back and suddenly Irep was spazzing like he was being tazed.

"HAHAHAHA ST-" he cut himself off and tried to kick Peri away instead. So the fairy just sat on the backs of his legs to avoid getting kicked.

"Oh and you know what else I realized, buddy?" Peri teased, reaching up to lightly brush his fingers over his counterpart's pointed ears, earning a scrunch of the shoulders and uncharacteristically bubbly giggles. "Is that I don't care much for being on the receiving end. So that must mean~" "Noho-" "You love it don't you?" "NO!"

The anti-fairy's ears and neck turned a darker shade of blue as he doubled his efforts in 'fighting back,' to try and prove a point.

"Is that why you've been bothering me all day?" Peri asked, slipping his fingers under Irep's chin and getting a scrunched nose, fangs, and bright giggles in return.

Irep snapped at Peri's fingers like he was going to bite them, causing the latter to yank his hand back with a yelp. Now Irep was giggling for a different reason.

Peri narrowed his eyes at the jerk. "Alright then, have it your way. I know exactly where to strike now, since I'm not ticklish there at all."

Before the anti could even react or protest, Peri had unbent and opened his large, leathery bat-like wing and started to softly scritch his fingers into the joints and the delicate webbing between the bones.

Overwhelmed in the best way, Irep couldn't even close his wing, it just tensed up and stayed open while he kicked his legs furiously against the ground and buried his face into the floor, laughing and wheezing up a storm, so much so that even Peri started to laugh.

"Yohou- You sohound like a kettle-" he chuckled, gently pinching the base of his wing, getting the most feral of giggles out of him.

Irep's laughter was wheezy, harsh, and chaotic, but not necessarily unpleasant. Peri didn't mind it.

Though when it started to become all wheeze, Peri let up and moved back to just gently brushing over his ears. He didn't want to kill the guy, no matter how annoying he was.

Irep's wings drooped and practically melted off his back as he was granted a break. He panted through softer, shy giggles as his ears were tickled, occasionally twitching or jerking his head to the side.

"Yoho- You're dehehead.. ahafter thihis." The anti-fairy giggled out despite being a whole puddle on the floor.

"Don't act like you weren't directly asking for it." Peri replied, pulling his hands back completely to let him up. "We're even."

He got up off the giggly man beneath him, assuming he would be too tired to do much else. Though he realized he was mistaken as soon as he was yanked back and wrestled back down to the floor.

"You forget who you're speaking to, Peri. I don't play to get 'even.' I do whatever amuses me."

He vibrated a clawed hand into the fairy's belly and watched with delight as he started to kick his legs, tossing his head back in bright laughter.

[toxicroyjamie]

Do you think Ted was a good coach?

Oof. Controversy!

This is a loaded question, because if you look at his end results, you can't deny that he's a "good coach" in the sense that he was able to completely turn the team around and take them to the top of the league. He was definitely doing something right!!

However I feel like I can't really call him a "good coach" with my whole chest because he doesn't know ANYTHING about the sport he's coaching, nor does he really seem to make any effort to learn (like, he doesn't understand the offside rule until 3 years after starting the job. Why?) He's certainly good as part of a coaching team, because he's excellent at building relationships and connecting with his players, but he would be nowhere without Beard, Nate, and Roy, because at the end of the day a team just can't be successful if their coaches don't know anything about the strategy/technique of the game.

Also, Ted's expertise is in coaching kids, not adult professionals, and that really shows in how he handles Richmond sometimes. His whole "winning isn't what's important, it's all about teamwork and having fun and being the best version of yourself :)" is a fantastic mindset for, say, the coach of a little league team, but (as Beard points out) not as wonderful for coaching professionals whose whole job is winning. They're not there to have fun and learn the value of teamwork, they're there to win. I get that the return to football as a fun childhood hobby is a theme on the show, and there's nothing wrong with that, but I feel like Ted doesn't always fully understand the gravity of the sport for people who are truly invested, and he doesn't always do a great job of balancing "having fun and growing as individuals" with like. Doing what these men are paid millions of dollars to do.

As a preschool teacher, I think the way Ted handles conflict is also very reminiscent of how adults handle conflict between young children, which is another thing that would make him a fantastic coach for a kids' team but works against him in a professional setting. In s2, for example, rather than just going to Roy as a superior speaking to an employee and telling him to get over himself and coach Jamie because he's a grownup and that's his job, he tries to get Roy and Jamie to talk it out and come to a resolution like they're two kindergarteners fighting over a toy. He was doing Social Emotional Learning on them, and even though it ultimately benefitted them as individuals, it was not the best or quickest way to deal with a workplace conflict like that between two adults. Can you imagine going to your boss like "hey, the person who's supposed to be training me won't talk to me at all or answer any of my questions and I'm kind of lost" and they were like "lol and what do you expect me to do about that? That's on you, I'm not gonna tell him what to do" insanity

TL;DR I think Ted is fantastic with people and that's a huge asset to him in coaching, but I don't think he knows anywhere near enough about soccer to be a bona fide "good coach" of a professional team. I also think the way he handles his players and their conflicts would be an asset to him if he were a kids' coach or a teacher, but sometimes is frustrating and infantilizing when applied to professionals

[13leaguestories]

Hi! I have finally decided to start the journey of creating an interactive fiction story. I absolutely love your works and have always found I have an inkling for writing, If you have any basic tips or general things that helped you I would really appreciate it because looking online is so confusing. Im a 19 year old full time college student and athlete so it will be a slow process but any insight would be extremely helpful. Thankyou! :)

Oh shit, I was in the same boat. Used to be a college athlete as well so I know exactly how much time you're about to have on your hands to do other things lmfao.

General advice and biggest: do not over exert yourself. I know this is something everyone says and it feels so ... simple. But I am being 100% honest. Even when you think you're on a roll and can write like 50k in one sitting, don't. I say that because burn out WILL catch up and burn out doesn't just leave after a week of a break, that bitch takes forever to truly recover from. I don't know how else to say it but please take care of yourself. Your brain, hands, all that.

Keep it light and fun. Remember to keep it light and fun. I wrote Dragon Racer while in college and a lot of shit fucked with my mind leaving a bad taste in my mouth.

Another piece of advice that I know folks always talk about but always like to argue: write for yourself. I kinda lost that along the way but it really is true. At the end of this, you're the one whose going to fall out of love with something you wanted to do. That doesn't sit well. This is for you, first and foremost. Ask yourself if only a handful of people ever read your work and if that makes you never want to write again. If the answer is yes then some self reflection needs to be had. Just being honest. Where's that meme of "try to change my mind."

Of course you want folks to read your stuff but if you're not in love with what you're doing then it will feel like a job and that's when it falls apart.

Resources wise ....

Just learn coding. Never stop learning. Never cut yourself off from learning coding.

Tons of writing resources. Have an entire folder on them. Also figure out what your weaknesses are (yes, we all have them, I for one suck at action) and get advice and guides on them. Like, there are tons of them everywhere. Like this is literally just my subfolders: Do not ask how many files and folders are in those. Literally just type in something to a search engine like "shades of colors" or "ways to describe sadness" shit like that and you'll get tons of results. Have numerous articles about the same thing.

Read. Read. Read. Read.

Read some more. And I mean things you wouldn't normally read too.

Either get a writing circle or join writing groups so people can give you their thoughts. You need that, period. Ask other writers. Most of us don't bite. Some of us do.

https://www.motoslave.net/ for Twine things. That's my bible for SugarCube

Oof that's enough, hopefully. I really do wish you all the luck in your writing. And I'm honored you even thought to ask me for my sliver of advice and thoughts on it. I love seeing more writers appear, we just want to share our vision and the world can never have enough of that especially nowadays will bullshit AI.

[dnalt-d2]

the entire debate on wether or not lea is the cause of quackity getting doxxed or not is a complicated one

many people are arguing that because the information about quackity can technically be found in a public (government) website, then it does not count as doxxing, since a doxx is the publishing of private information with the intent of causing harm

the information lea shared (a paypal payment stub that had an email adress, and was identifiable as the admin "Quid", and then a skype screenshot that showed the same email adress being associated to the skype account, and said account having the full name of Q's brother in it) was not uploaded with the intent of threatening Q's safety via publishing his personal information.... but it WAS published to try and tie in his brother (who had some serious accusations on him back in 2020-2021) to the company based simply on speculation

mind you, what this then cause was for individuals to go "oh wait, you all didn know that? you can literally find every single information on Q if you go to this website and put this information, you even get the name of his lawyer!!!" (paraphrased), and suddenly, screenshots of this website and all the information on him that were in it were being shared on twitter, and getting thousands of likes and retweets, all the while with people justifying it by saying "well it's public information, so it's not doxxing" "q fans upset that people are sharing public info about a public figure" and such

the main issue here is that, while yes, the infromation can technically be accessed by anyone because it's a public website... there's a difference between knowing it's there and actively spreading it to the view of thousands of people who didnt even know or want to know it

so.... no, lea didnt technically doxx Q. however her actions (and her response) actively led to other individuals taking action and actively threatening him, as well as others justifying and even celebrating that is happening

so it's a complicated case imho

Oof

Yeah

That is

Uh

Complicated.

Holy Hell

Thank you also for the information, that clears some things up

QUITE A BIT

For starters, I wanna clarify in case it didn't come across correctly before, that while I don't think this is what Lea intended to happen, it definitely wasn't cool for her to put that stuff out there, and it REALLY wasn't cool to add any of those extra comments. (Or certain other comments that at this point I haven't felt it's my place to comment on) Just that I can believe it wasn't INITIALLY done maliciously, but as a result from WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE bombarding and practically threatening her for information. Which is why I'm all for keeping CERTAIN things more private

This all really just feels like a huge snowball effect because people can't fathom that they won't be in the loop for every single decision behind this business's actual behind-the-scenes organization, and some people in that business are feeling way too pressured, causing them to make decisions that MIGHT SEEM OKAY IN THE MOMENT but then realize immediately after that "Oh wait it actually wasn't, oh shit, I didn't think that would happen"

This is why I hate speculating and spreading information I don't have verified without clearly stating I haven't verified it. Because that's how stuff like this happens. It's why I haven't made comments about his brother in the first place, because I just straight-up don't have all the information on all that, and it's not even been proven true. But people hear a whisper and suddenly they're just grasping at it like the thinnest of straws for their argument

Once again though, thanks for the info, I always like to keep informed on things, even if I'm not actively talking about it

[shy-urban-hobbit]

🖤 and/or 💛 with lambert/aiden from the kissing list please :3

I went with 💛 - reunion kiss for this one 😁😁

"Alright, what the fuck is wrong?" Geralt asked, reminding himself to put his ale back on the table calmly rather than slamming it down like he really wanted to (two Witchers in the inn was already drawing enough attention without making it look like a fight was about to break out between them), having finally reached the end of his tether.

"Nothing. Besides the usual." Lambert answered sulkily, trying to glare a hole into the table top, only pausing when his eyes would flick up to the door briefly when someone new entered, arms tightly folded across his chest. Those four words the first response he'd given all evening that hadn't been monosyllables at best or a grunt of acknowledgement at worst.

Geralt felt his eye twitch. His little brother was acting every bit the surly teenager he'd once been. Even back then, getting him to open up about anything had been akin to pulling teeth, worse even - at least pulling teeth yielded some results.

"We only left Kaer Morhen three months ago, things can't be that bad already?" He cajoled, hoping Lambert would let something slip.

"Well, maybe I'm just having truly shit luck." Lambert drained his tankard before standing, "I'm going to bed."

Geralt watched the others retreating form. Some things the youngest Witcher felt deeper than any of them, no matter how much he tried to brush them off.

Lambert's mood hadn't improved the next morning. If anything, it seemed to worsen after Geralt mentioned he was heading in the same direction as him on his way to meet Jaskier. By mid afternoon, Geralt was ready to shove Lambert's face in the next pile of horse dung they came across after he snapped at him for breathing too loudly. It didn't escape his attention that Lambert kept scanning the road and not just in casual observation - he was actively looking out for something, but every time Geralt tried to ask Lambert would either just growl at him or spur his horse a little further ahead in the on road equivalent of slamming his door in Geralt's face. Not that Geralt minded that much, the constant, acrid stench of Lambert's negative emotions was starting to put both him and Roach on edge.

After a night spent in the woods with separate camps, the two Wolves arrived in Ellander and at the temple of Melitele, where the White Wolf was due to meet his bard. Lambert found himself tagging along to say hello to Nenneke, he'd always found her fearlessness on calling bullshit when she smelt it refreshing (plus, watching her treat Geralt like an errant child would never not be funny). He couldn't quite discern the look she threw him when she informed them Jaskier hadn't arrived yet, although her "Jealousy is unbecoming on anybody. Including a Witcher." helped shed some light.

Luckily, Geralt saw fit to drag him out into the gardens before he started asking questions.

"Is that why you've had a stick up your arse, you're jealous of me and Jaskier?"

"Don't talk shit." Lambert snapped, "I didn't even know you were meeting him until you told me."

"And it was after that you went from a dragon with a sore head to one with a full on fucking migraine."

"It's my business, and shockingly it's got fuck all to do with you and your peacock. So why don't you just-"

"Geralt!"

Both of them turned at the yell, Geralt to be greeted by the sight of his bard waving at him and Lambert by a blur that slammed into him with enough force to knock him onto his back with an "Oof!" that was swallowed up by a pair of soft, chapped lips, an agile tongue dipping in cheekily when Lambert's lips parted in a smile once he realised who exactly had attacked him.

"Hello, you." Aiden said, grinning down at him once they parted. Not that Lambert was letting him go very far, his arms locked around the others back.

"You're late." Lambert said simply, " I waited for you as long as I was able but you never showed. So I started moving, hoping I'd run into you on the road but everywhere I tried...I was starting to think..." He squeezed Aiden in lieu of finishing his sentence, the other rubbed his nose against Lambert's in the way the Wolf recognised as him offering a silent apology.

"Well, glad to see you know each other already. No awkward introductions necessary." Jaskier chirped, sounding amused.

Lambert wouldn't say that exactly. He chanced a look at Geralt who looked positively dumbstruck as he stared down at them both, his sword half drawn, frozen in the act of coming to the others aid.

"And I'm afraid that's partly my doing. Aiden and that infallible Witcher timing saved me from a rather unfortunate encounter with some giant centipede thingy. Unfortunately, he didn't come out of it unscathed and far be it for me to leave my rescuer bleeding out on the roadside."

"For a troubadour, you make quite the competent healer." Aiden broke in, lifting his head at Lambert's gentle insistence as he checked him over for evidence of new injuries.

"Twenty years of practice, dear." Jaskier threw a meaningful look at Geralt, "He offered to escort me the rest of the way when we found out we were heading in the same direction."

Lambert finally relinquished his grip enough to let Aiden stand, taking the offered hand and watching Geralt warily for the moment he knew was coming since the word "Witcher" had flown from Jaskier's mouth.

Geralt had absolutely no idea what had been used to turn this strange Witchers eyes that almost luminous green rather than the traditional yellow and orange hues. He was almost of a height with Lambert when they both stood. His armour was light, leaving the arms bare apart from a set of plain leather gauntlets, the scars criss-crossing dark skin proudly on display and around his neck...

Geralt's fingers twitched towards his weapons in the same moment Lambert took half a step forwards, subtly placing himself slightly in front of the Cat, the two of them locking eyes in a silent conversation. Everything seemed to be holding its breath. Aiden kept his mouth shut, the slight ocean salt tang of apprehension present for those who could smell it and even Jaskier had fallen silent, his usual fresh apple and rain scent turning slightly rotten in his confusion as he looked between the three of them.

Geralt was the first to look away, "Well met Aiden. Lambert, make sure you say goodbye before you move on." He started herding Jaskier away, his eyes screaming that this "Goodbye" was going to include getting some answers. Lambert groaned.

"I recognise what that look means. Could've gone worse though." Aiden said, wrapping his arms around Lambert in a proper hug.

The Wolf shrugged, "Fuck him. He's got the messiest love life out of all of us, he's in no position to lecture me about you. Now c'mere."

He pulled Aiden into another kiss, putting his all into it now that he wasn't caught off guard.

"I really am sorry I made you worry, Pup."

"Let's find an empty room and you can make it up to me."

[gascon-en-exil]

What do you think the top and bottom preferences are for all the male FE lords?

Oof, that's a lot all at once...and it also assumes that all of these guys are into men which is quite the stretch for some of them. Still...

Marth - How in the world am I supposed to answer this one? He's got a canon girlfriend and his personality is several different flavors of bland depending on the game. I'm sure the Smash Bros. fandom pegs him as a bottom since he's the fem counterpart to Ike there...but he could honestly go either way - so vers.

Alm - Again, painfully heterosexual so I have no idea how to answer this. Might have fooled around with his villager buddies, but I doubt they ever got to anal. Let's call him a side (i.e. sleeps with men but not into anal) and move on.

Sigurd - Deirdre-sexual in canon, but might have gotten drunk and fooled around with Quan (and Eldigan?) when they were in school together. Probably has bottom or sub top tendencies as a result in the extremely unlikely event event that he's ever with a guy, because Quan is just like that.

Seliph - If we take his Chosen One status as topping, then he does that. It's so hard to say, but it'd be comically fitting if he were a calm and self-assured vers in contrast to his cousin...

Leif - Whatever he does he's pissed about it, so hardcore top or bratty power bottom. He has issues.

Roy - Can I just say he's 15 and move on? Eh, the game pairs him up so I suppose not...but he's just so bland.

Eliwood - I'm sure the internet would peg him as a weepy bottom, but I see more attentive service top. Will bottom in the right conditions, but more assuredly than his reputation likely suggests.

Hector - Aggressive power top probably with internalized homophobia who also likes having his ass played with but is insecure about who knows that.

Ephraim - Aggressively vers for his knight buddies or Duessel or whoever else he has as an erotic sparring partner. *coughs* If it's Innes, they fight over who gets to top...even though neither of them really lose no matter what.

Ike - Looks and acts like a top, but could swing vers for the right guy. This probably means Ranulf, because top!Soren is super exotic and rare.

Chrom - Bland...I don't know, tops so when he's fucking m!Robin he can close his eyes and pretend he's with f!Robin or the village maiden or whoever. (Also I'm not counting Avatars as lords here.)

Dimitri - Physically cannot top in most cases lest he accidentally kill his partner with his superpowered Blaiddyd cock, so he's gotten accustomed to bottoming. Felix can take it though on account of his equally superpowered Fraldarius ass.

Claude - You will never know what he's into until the moment he tries it out, and even then he might not be entirely honest about it. Vers, and mischievously so.

[thebluestockingfirefly]

There are a lot of things I could say right now. A lot of emotions roiling and punching and screaming to be vocalized. But I don't have the strength right now to articulate all of that. What I will say is this.

I'm a disabled woman. I've been disabled nearly all of my life. I had severe chronic kidney infections requiring multi-weekly injections from the time I was three months old until I was four and a half, when I had major surgery - without which, I'd be dead by now. I bear scars and an undersized kidney and the gratefulness I didn't almost die from giardia like my sister. I had about a year and a half between recovering from my surgery and starting to get sick again; in that time, I won the Presidential Fitness Award, played soccer, and did gymnastics, and was so skilled at the latter that they wanted to train me privately for competition (terrible at soccer, though. oof). In second grade, the PE teacher called my parents because I was no longer able to participate the way I had before, and she was worried. Took several more years before I was finally diagnosed with what was then called chronic fatigue syndrome. I got progressively sicker from there. My parents didn't think I'd finish fourth grade because I missed so much of the school year due to being sick. No one thought I'd finish high school, and a huge part of the reason I graduated was because I had a 504, and parents who fought for me to get that 504 - and an advisor who dated the expiry date for it past the time I'd graduate, because the administration had nearly refused to grant it to me and she wanted to make sure it wouldn't be taken away.

I've fought every step of the way to achieve what I have, but I absolutely wouldn't have got there if it weren't for the fact that disability rights legislation exists - and it exists because of hard-fought battles by disability rights activists. Disability rights are still a relatively recent thing - the ADA was only passed in 1990 - and people with disabilities are still regularly left out of rights conversations. And, lest you think 'oh, well, I'm not disabled' - guess what? You're going to get old. A split second might change your life. Disability is the one demographic literally anyone could find themselves in at any time, and are increasinbly likely to become a member of as they age. People with disabilities are uniquely vulnerable to the whims of governments, and looking forward, it is an absolute surety that our rights - our very value as human beings deserving of life and respect and love - will be in danger. Our lives will be in danger. Medicaid and Medicare are both at extreme risk. Health insurance coverage in general is almost certainly going to contract and exclude a hell of a lot of us. (I lived in the UK during the 2016 election knowing I was moving back to America in 2017 and sobbed at the results because I was terrified.) Access to care in general is also likely to seep away like toxins into groundwater, leaving far too many without access to vital and necessary means to survive.

To sum up: people with disabilities are going to die. And if you don't care about that, if you can't be bothered, I have only this to say to you: go fucking trip in a pothole and break your neck on the way down.

Moving on to a different topic.

Two of my closest, dearest friends are queer. Very different identities, very different people, both people without whom I'm not sure I'd have survived the last decade. You know who not only doesn't give a shit about people with queer identities but is actively advocating to relegate them to statuses less than human? Yeah. The shithead America just elected as president. It's made trans identities a pointed, specific point of attack, demonizing people who literally only want to be seen as normal so they can carry on with life. The vitriol spewed at trans individuals, at anyone who isn't cis-het, is horrific and disgusting and now has an even greater platform to not only continue to demonize perfectly normal people but also actively legislate to remove their rights, along with those of anyone who doesn't happen to identify with their assigned gender at birth or a strictly heterosexual attraction to others.

As my last futile shriek into the night, for now, I return to the fact that I'm a woman. I've been on birth control since I was 18. I currently have an IUD. I used to have the arm implant thing. For most of the time that I've been using birth control, the goal has been to control, minimize, or largely eliminate my period, but I'm gonna be honest here: I've also used it to keep from getting pregnant (gasp, shock, horror, go fuck yourself if you think this is somehow unacceptable). But guess what? Birth control is a vitally important way in which people are able to exercise autonomy over their bodies. How we are able to choose to be intimate with men without being terrified that doing so will irrevocably alter our lives in a way over which we have no say. How we're able to avoid having to face the decision to have an abortion. When my mother was a young woman, abortion was illegal. Didn't matter the circumstances, didn't matter the timeline; you got pregnant, no matter how, you had almost no options. If you decided to end your pregnancy and were lucky, you might visit a doctor who knew what they were doing and provided competent care without risking your life, and survive to one day have a family, if you wanted. If you weren't, you might end up with permanent damage to your reproductive organs that meant you could never have children. Or dead.

We started a return to this reality several years ago, when Roe v. Wade was repealed by the Supreme Court and states across the country instituted extreme abortion bans that basically said a hearty Fuck You to every woman in this country. Women have died as a result, women who should be alive right now. Children are living without their mothers because doctors are scared to provide necessary care. And now even more women are going to die. I live in a blue state with no restrictions on abortion and I'm fucking terrified because my rights, my autonomy, my ability to make my own fucking decisions about myself, my body, my own damn life are in question despite where I live. I'm a person. Every fucking woman is a person. We deserve to be able to decide what the fuck we want to do with our bodies, without anyone else's input.