#ONLY JACKS COULD SAY THESE BANGERS!!!

[jackstheprinceofhearts]

jesus christ this quote is so good if it's jacks

LIKE THINK ABOUT HIM SAYING THIS TO EVA??? HE'S HER MONSTER???? HER VILLAIN???? HERS????? THIS IS SUCH A GOOD PARALLEL TO THEM SAYING "IM YOURS" TO EACH OTHER LIKE OH MY GOD IM SO EXCITED FOR JACKS TO SAY CRAZY STUFF IN THIS BOOK.

i feel like there's gonna be so much more grit and angst in the dialogue in acftl then in her other books and i'm HYPED for it.

if it's not jacks i will be sad.

[respectthepetty]

Dunk and Joong could have offered me anything in 2024, and I would have taken it, gladly, no questions because my ass is a Jaidee fan first and a human second. But to hand me The Heart Killers? Oh! Let me list all the reasons y'all gonna hate me when this comes out.

Joong plays Khao's older brother

Khaotung is older than Joong, but in BL Land that doesn't matter because Khao is playing the hopeless romantic little brother while Joong is playing his stern older brother. Someone already wrote it was 10 Things I Hate About You/The Taming of the Shrew, and Shakespeare would be thrilled to know one of his masterpieces is getting the queer treatment and it's not Twelfth Night.

Dunk is playing the crazy seducer

Boy wants a car and is willing to go to great lengths to do it, including distracting some dude, so his buddy can play house with that dude's little brother. But the whole point is they had to find a guy who was crazy enough to accept the offer in the first place >insert Dunk's character< so the guy isn't just wanting the car. He is doing this for the thrill of getting tied up, stripped down, and threatened.

And I respect that.

Jojo is apparently directing

I wanna have beef with Jojo after Only Friends, then I look at his resume and remember this is the man who gave me puppy play in The Warp Effect, poly in 3 Will Be Free, and a chaotic stripper named Judo in Dirty Laundry PLUS the YinWar trailer for their Partner in Crime concert which has now lead to YinWar doing Jack & Joker, so as a vegetarian, I'm gonna be like Elsa and let that go.

Which means Rath is probably the cinematographer

I don't give men compliments easily, so when I state that Cinematographer Rath has never disappointed me, I mean it. The man knows what he is doing, and if he is in on this series, I know if anything, it will be visually stunning.

First and Khao being the Beyonce of GMMTV

I'm in Jaidee's corner always, but I have eyes and First and Khao could really do whatever they want and I'd eat it up. I have believed them with whomever they have been partnered with in the past, and if they want to play high schoolers in an oppressed school system or a banker willing to see his ex and his ex's new man just to flirt with the boy from the market, I'm buying the tickets, I'm sitting in the front row, and I'm holding up homemade posters. Basically, I'm shutting the fuck up and experiencing whatever they want me to experience.

First and Khao tears

This is its own category because when they cry, they are in a league of their own. They claimed this series was going to be lighter than their previous work, but what is a First or Khao series without tears? I hope they are drinking water right now because someone is crying in this series, and JD's faces are already wet for other reasons.

DUNK'S BODY!

Not to objectify the man's body, but . . . it's a banger, and he has been done dirty by wardrobe for two solid years. His face card never declines. His arms are solid. His waist is snatched. His hair is perfect. Even Tay, New, and Jan were talking about him in the BTS for Peaceful Property because they were saying how New's character was based off of Dunk - pretty, fashionable, and COCKY! But wouldn't we all be that cocky if we were walking around looking like this?! Like shut up fives. A ten is speaking!

It's high time that man got to stunt like Force always does just taking off his shirt for no reason. Good for him. And good for us.

Oh, yeah, and the plot

Sorry, I mean the plot.

SHIT, THE PLOT!

You know what? Nah. I honestly do not give a fuck about the plot. Joong and Khao are hired killers. First is out to get them. Dunk gets involved (although, I think he knows a lot more than he leads on), and . . .

All will end well.

Because if anything, Jojo ain't never been allergic to a happy ending *wink*

So just know this show hit its target audience

ME!

¡Salud!

[atiianeishaunted]

blue writing is lance's notes fyi anyway uhh character bios below !! long ass writing warning but worth it i promise chat pspsp | no notes version AND the transparent PNGS down at the end!

character bios:

Allura [???] | A lone princess who is burnt out and stressed out her mind, her only solace/stress relief being the garden she has where she can have peace and quiet, shutting her brain off while she does the tasks of tending to her precious plants and bugs. She tries her best to remain as friendly and optimistic as possible, if not for her own sanity, however thanks to the stress and pressure put on her, she has a tendency to lose her cool and sometimes shut down entirely. She has a passion for commanding and loves honing her fighting skills as that was one of the ways she bonded with her father. She more often than not can be seen in comfortable clothes, she doesnt mind dresses and does enjoy dressing up but will only do it when shes going out the castle or theres a meeting. | this gal couldve been an burnt out autistic queen DREAMWORKS, YOU COUDLVE MADE HER ICONIC .... let her be a dorky nerd whos a hater sometimes, pretty please

Takashi Shirogane | A garrison commander (no one is really sure of his job title to be honest with you..) who's insanely passionate about his job, to the point where hes willing to sacrifice it all if the garrison wills it. Anything to serve. He tries his best to fit in and be hip with the kids, he tries to come across as the 'chill' teacher, but students of his have reported that after a few months, any amount of chillness is thrown out the window. If not that, hes often not even in class, too busy doing missions he wasnt assigned to. He's intense. Very intense. Knows his way around words though for the most part, can be very convincing and a bit maniuplative, very goal driven. He means well though? Thats what he says. He always throws a quick sorry if someone brings it up with him, so that must mean something. | sorry in advance if you follow along with Sonder's story... unrelated but dreamworks wrote a banger antagonist without even realizing!

"Keith" Kogane / "Morse" | Unknown origins. He was a talented garrison pilot who could practically fly with his eyes closed, a jack of all trades, short tempered and prone to losing it but all things considered, the perfect cadet for the garrison's goals, he came out of nowhere practically, just poofed in like a ghost and wiped the floor with everyone. He really just needed a good guiding hand. No one is quite sure what gender he is, his androgynous appearance and tendency to respond to anything besides being called a girl have people baffled to say the least. He's very clearly not all there in the head either which goes hand in hand with his odd bursts of ego and then odd bursts of whining, these bursts often include talks that could only be described as cult-ish. People have their theories. Beyond those bursts, hes mostly very deadpan and quiet. But despite his strength and that intense feeling of fear and dread people get when they're around him, he's.. popular, somehow. Admired greatly for his devilish good looks. A universal appeal if you will. He doesn't seem to notice. Or perhaps doesnt care. Either way he's far too busy following Shiro around and treating him like the second coming of god to really indulge in romance for now. Lance's self proclaimed rival, Keith is also unaware of this. | also sorry in advance for this one if you follow sonder's storyline Lance McClain | A former Garrison cargo pilot who moved up in rank when Keith got kicked out. Keith is his rival and also all that Lance can talk about, even after the guy got kicked out and left for dead (Lance overheard some things while sneaking out past the teacher's lounge). He has a very noticable personality and loves to be the center of attention, hes still finding his footing and figuring out what he wants to do with his life and who he wants to be. Despite his many claims, hes not all that popular. He can't really flirt with girls all too well. His general goal is to be so well known so he won't ever be forgotten, hence why he begged his mom to let him dye his hair and get piercings (if he used Keith as an argument, thats none of your business.) (he saw keith dying his hair once or twice and instantly wanted to copy, its a bad habit.). He loves LOVES taking care of his appearance and is fairly vain, he has extensive routines and will freak out if he can't follow them. His ego and overbearing confidence is all to drown out his deep insecurities and fears. He tries his best to come across as a suave, cool, charming, awesome, any positive adjective really, person but in all reality he's a mama's boy, a dork, a loser if you will who has a love for the retro and is a huge gamer. If he must admit, he and Keith'd get along great actually, Keith ticks alot of boxes and honestly Lance deeply admires him and wants to be like him. | dreamworks dropped that lance was a gamer and loved retro stuff and then never talked about it again. sigh. Hunk Garrett | Hunk has many passions, mainly inspired by parents, he mainly specializes in cooking and mechanics, he enjoys tinkering with things, taking them apart to see how they work and working from there to see if he can rebuild it with 0 instruction, hes gotten good at it. He's Lance's childhood best friend, they're extremely close and are often seen constantly poking fun at eachother. Its all in good fun though. Hunk struggles extremely with anxiety and has a service dog back home that he left at home when heading to the Garrison as he worried he couldn't take care of it while studying. Despite his anxiety, he quite enjoys talking to people and sharing things he enjoys with them, he often tries to get over his fears by branching out and | I looked up his name from the old show because he deserves an 'actual' name, free my boy, he was done so dirty, also i remember when we all thought hunk had two moms (or was that just me ..) and i live by it tbh, two moms and a dad whos still active in his life, 3 whole parents for the greatest fella ever

Pidge Holt | Not much can be said about Pidge, they keep to themselves and don't share much about themselves. Just like Keith, their gender is often up to debate and when asked, Pidge will never give a consistent answer. They're a major tech wiz and with their talents, they're a complete menace. Pidge is prone to being mischevious and pranking others, often taking jokes a bit too far. They're egotistical and find that robots are their preferred companions in comparison to humans. | loser chronically online 13 year old who would tell you to kys, matt probably has to take away their electronics all the time LMFAO purposely made their outfit look a bit strange bc , theyre a kid whos a NERD /aff let them dress a bit stupid and let them cringe at it 5 years later ty

No notes version and PNGS below :-)

im insane about this reboot!! please reblog and im willing to elaborate if anyone wants me to <333 hrgfhrfg i really want this to take off bwaa

[teekays]

hello! if memory serves you are the blog that talked about boy band pretty as a marketing tactic (or something to that effect? the search function does not work so if i’m wrong i’m terribly sorry) and i was wondering if you would be willing to find someone from each team (can include prospects if you want) to create the ultimate nhl boy band. this is not a necessary thing to do, solely shits and gigs and if you ever feel like it doing it. have a lovely day!

HIIIIIII that WAS me and you sent this at the perfect time because i am at the laundromat with time to kill and i LOVE to discuss this.... let's chop it up.... a few disclaimers: this is subjective so don't get mad at me and i will be including prospects and ahl players where i know its applicable BUT for most of these teams i will be going off the main roster + looks alone because if i did a full deep dive vibes analysis on every team's roster and prospects it would take me like two months to answer this ask... you understand. we are being SHALLOW here today in the true spirit of the boy band industry. let's go!!!

carolina hurricanes: i know everyone wants me to say sebastian aho but he is 1) too old 2) too unsettling looking. the elf on the shelf is not boy band pretty im sorry 😭 i do love him but he's just not the vibe here... i will say based on looks either scott morrow or jackson blake and his 90s heartthrob hair. i want to say seth jarvis because he's my special pop pop but that does contradict almost everything i have said previously so i will not be biased but know that if he was a pop star i would be his biggest fan i would kiss his poster. and that's my truth

columbus blue jackets: in the interest of journalistic integrity i went to their roster instead of just saying it's obviously kj as the intimidating aloof one in the boy ("boy") band but actually i do think it's cole sillinger.... teen heartthrob. also i didn't know that he was born in columbus because his dad was playing for the team and his brother is also on the team??? imagine having a whole destiny like that and its for COLUMBUS OHIO 😭

new jersey devils: jack hughes. open and shut case argue with the WALL

new york islanders: NOT MAT BARZAL. HE LOOKS 35. STAND UP LADIES!!! lowkey i do not know any of these dudes and this roster is kind of busted as fuck 😭😭😭 (NOT ANTHONY DUCLAIR who is too old to be a boy band boy but who i do love) bargain bin team... anyway isaiah george YOU! are the only cute person the new york islanders

new york rangers: matt rempe. those pictures of him lounging around on the phone??? wow. no words. diva heartthrob behavior. it's sad what they're doing to him what are we doing to our beautiful queens :(

philadelphia flyers: after much careful deliberation.... i think denver barkey is taking it. denver is such a deeply boy band name tbh he was born for this!!! i know everyone thinks it's jamie (who i still forget is a flyer 😭) but can you imagine him on a stage? singing a song? they are reinventing shoegaze for him. negative star quality (AFFECTIONATE!!!!!!! LOVING!!!!!!!!!!!!)

pittsburgh penguins: well NOW the obvious answer is rutger mcgroarty... not even worth going through that senior center roster when he's there tbh sorry pens

washington capitals: AGAIN. SENIOR CENTER ROSTER. i had to go to their prospects page to find someone suitable and my vote is patrick leonard he's a cutie!!! also im so sorry to say this but my jaw dropped when i got to this guy why are you playing hockey you need to make a children's album RIGHT NOW. i know he could do a banger cover of the We're going on a bear hunt song. but i digress...

boston bruins: matthew poitras is adorable and exudes star quality NEXTTTT. shoutout also brett harrison who looks like a long lost jonas brother

buffalo sabres: JACK QUINNN JQUIZZY HIMSELF partly for looks mostly for vibes... he has extreme "jack dylan grazer vape apology video" energy and also he has that boyish charm... either him or devon levi (hot) not miss owen power for the same reasons as jamie. she could never be a pop star 😔 ryan mcleod used to be the oilers popstar boy but now he's got too much competition he's a little niche for the title

detroit red wings: my gut tells me simon edvinsson but a look at the roster tells me there is some competition in the form of amadeus lombardi... if we were discussing this two years ago mo seider would be the obvious answer but he's too grizzled now 😔

florida panthers: 🙄 here comes another busted fucking roster... i guess denisenko??? panthers are not really representing here....

montreal canadiens: ARBER <3 he's like the bad boy hottie in the boy band. the one that makes your dad shake his head when he sees him on tv

ottawa senators: wow the atlantic division is fucking WACK this was another case of like. okay i guess ill pick one of yous but REALLY? so congratulations jorian donovan YOU are in the boy band

tampa bay lightning: seriously what is going on in this division. jack finley looks like he was the closeted one in a boy band from the early 2000s but he's aged past that now and he has a husband and a wine brand.... so we will bring him back for nostalgia points. welcome to the team. also i have to be honest i thought of myself as pretty well acquainted with the ahl but the SYRACUSE CRUNCH? that's crazy

leafs: JOSEPH WOLL! boyish charm out the ears on that one. a real cutie

chicago: obviously it's bedard. we all know it's bedard. on the surface he has no charisma but he does have a certain kind of shy boy charm and he IS adorable... he's the one in the boy band who makes your mom tut over him like "he seems like a nice boy"

colorado avalanche: wow huge props to matt stienburg for having maybe the single most boy band roster photo i have seen yet... THIS is the guy they get in the boy band because he's already had huge success with his hit single called like, Heart React Girlfriend or whatever. this is jacob sartorius if he played hockey. this is chase dreams. this kid is going places

dallas stars: it's obviously wyjo, joining the ranks with cbedard as The Nice One <3

minnesota wild: okay i was going to say brock faber because every group needs a kevin jonas (SORRY BROCK) but WHO is kyle masters and why does he look like knockoff brendan brisson. budget briss. diet briss. we have briss at home.

nashville predators: this just reminded me cody glass is a penguin now 💔 anyway the preds have some STRONG contenders here wow.... jeremy hanzel is taking it but i think luke evangelista could pull it off... now if you asked me to be really subjective it would be ozzy wiesblatt who would also be the subject of much poster kissing and rigged "which member of the nhl boy band should you date" tests so i get him as the result but that's just me....

st louis blues: jeremie biakabutuka your radiant smile has charmed me.... welcome to the band....

utah whatevers: MONTANA ONYEBUCHI I AM SO FUCKING SORRY THE SHARKS DIDNT APPRECIATE YOU. BUT WE WILL..... also matt villalta kinda giving off brand kj... you could build a whole off brand version of that umich team just with guys from other teams i bet

winnipeg jets: dylan coghlan you will always be famous to ME but i fear you are a little too old for our purposes here.... other than him they kinda don't have a lot going for them.... brayden yager it is your time to shine as off brand owen power ♥️

anaheim ducks: some strong competition here... tz is the obvious choice but i think we need to think bigger... olen zellwegger please step forward....

calgary flames: matt coronato i am free on thursday if you would like to hang out on thursday when i am free and also join this boy band

edmonton oilers: yet another old ass roster 😭 they're lucky they got so many sabres because matt savoie is saving their asses rn

los angeles kings: angus booth is smizing in every single photo i saw of him so. come on now

san jose sharks: it's so obviously will smith i don't even know what we're doing here tbh

seattle kraken: tye kartye looks like he would be into white water rafting so he can be the nature guy in the boy band.... strong competition from tucker robertson but he's just a touch too gay porn for this vibe

vancouver canucks: JETT WOO... HELLO.... but also shoutout cole mcward for having 2014 gay youtuber phenotype. a connor franta troye sivan type face if ive ever seen one

vegas golden knights: BRISS ‼️‼️‼️ my little tabloid queen... not only is he in the boy band but he's in the news and the media. he was born to be a star. natural ham. child actor energy. alex holtz is also a strong contender for this but i think he's off on his own doing his little pop star solo act thing

this took way longer than laundromat time but it was worth it i had so much fun!!!!! thank you!!!!!!

[ai3xx0]

some additional info about jack deenar (moral orel oc) for those who are interested

he was originally born in sinville but moved to moralton after he was told there weren't many hospital staff in it, and that the staff that WAS there had been insanely incompetent (millie fakey told him, they're good friends)

as for personal relationships, he dislikes nearly every person in moralton and thinks moving there was the worst mistake of his life, but he's staying for the sake of helping those in need properly and because he'd feel bad leaving those he connected with, knowing how terrible the entire town is (and he doesn't have the money to leave yet)

as for examples of people he does like...

he's good acquatiances with nurse bendy (naturally),

somewhat friends with stephanie (orel told him all about her and said he thought they'd be great friends, accidently stumbled into the shop at one point),

doesn't mind danielle too much and gives him credit for being the only honest and open asshole in moralton,

good with kids and doesn't blame them for most of their actions, tries to subtly push them in the right path (they do tend to annoy him sometimes),

just feels bad for roger papermouth (goes out drinking with him sometimes and lets him cry out his sorrows, he's a good listener)

did meet dr. chosenburg at one point, finds him pleasant (says "of course he's a good guy, he isn't from moralton")

good acquatiances with scott richman (another oc, met him from his frequent visits to the hospiral)

also good acquatiances with michael curington (ANOTHER oc, told him why he's moving to moralton, michael moved shortly after he did (medical field buddies))

I'd like to think that orel finding out men can be nurses too sparked an interest in medical care for him, and eventually lead to orel himself becoming a nurse

jack has witnessed most of orel's "bigger" injuries and hospital visits which lead to him despising clay for letting the kid harm himself and letting him get harmed the way he did, which includes all the times orel was brought back to life and his injuries after the camping trip. jack was on monitoring duty for most of the visit and got some insight on what happened during the camping trip which just made him hate clay even more

jack isn't really the best guy ever but at least he's better than most people in moralton -- he has a "black and white" way of thinking, but he can't let his actual feelings slip through. he acts nice and plays along with whatever nonsense they spout, and only ever "snaps" (tells them off) when he just can't bear to litsen anymore (frequently expresses his feelings toward clay in his face)

i think this is an obvious self insert except i made him hate clay instead of loving him because like realistically he wouldn't know anything about that dude that could redeem/explain any of his actions, he just sees an innatentive and immature "father" who drinks himself half to death and harms his kid ( and/or lets his kid harm himself) any chance he gets

thanks for reading to those who did (excuse any spelling or grammar errors i made this in a rush and english isn't my first language) (also I'm very very very sorry if any of this is out of character for the already established characters ummmm okay)

if u want to know more about him like and subscribe and hit that bell or if u want to know more about my other 3 moral orel ocs feel free to send an ask

banger art is on the way

[coff-in]

hihi!!!

this can be treated as a request or just idk something random / food for thought or a simple ask. imagine andrew being in love with his older twin brother like to the point of intense fixation on him. and then one day, reader appears back home with the other woman, his mysterious gf who he kept secret until now (dun dun dun…) and she’s quite literally the opposite to the graves physically and personality wise (bubbly, sociable and outgoing). as well as ashley who is starting to be just as obsessed with reader like andrew.

how would andrew react? would he bury his anger and jealousy towards the gf and away from reader? or would he lash out after seeing them so smitten with each other? would he kill her? see her as competition? try and be more touchy feely and groping reader in front of her to assert dominance? would ashley try and do something petty such as spilling a drink to ruin the gf’s top just to humiliate her? so many possibilities….

also btw i love your works they’re lowkey my guilty pleasure esp the ones with andrew i wish he was real 😭❤️❤️

notes from coff-in: OH MY GOODNESS!!! 'i love your works they’re lowkey my guilty pleasure' STOP IT YOU'RE MAKING ME BLUSH AND GIGGLE AT WORK!!! when i started this blog i was honestly not expecting people to like my work and now there are 'nonnies in my inbox telling me that my work is their guilt pleasure!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

[masc] reader-insert, suggestive/NSFW, incest

it'd be so cute and funny to me if andrew just started palming and rubbing [reader]'s cock under the table while the girlfriend is sitting across from them. banger opening, ik

if [reader] had a girlfriend, andrew would probably be so conflicted because 'holy fuck does he like women??? does he only like women????' he'd feel kinda conflicted about it because he could be pinning not only after his brother but possibly a straight guy?? truly scandalous

ashley treats [reader]'s girlfriend the same as she did julia, acting aggressively and hostile towards her. "do you think you really have what it takes to date him? does he even love you?? if he did he would've told us all about you but he hasn't said jack SHIT about you. you're just a distraction for him, i bet. the moment you're out of sight, you're out of mind."

highly doubt that andrew or ashley would kill [reader]'s girlfriend (even if this takes place after the quarantine), but they definitely wouldn't be welcoming to her either. everything has this air of passive aggressiveness to it.

but if it was an intense fixation as you say 👀

andrew does hold [reader] close to him, way closer than what most people would hold their siblings. he'd probably have [reader] situated on his thigh or lap as he talks to [reader]'s girlfriend across from them. an arm wrapped around his shoulder while his hand forces his head on andrew's shoulder, "so tell us, how'd you meet? what did you find appealing about our brother?" [reader]'s girlfriend is sociable and polite for the most part.

imagine [reader] goes to the kitchen to grab a cup for her and andrew comes behind him, pressing himself against [reader]'s back, grinding against him a bit to reach over [reader] and grab the cup for him. it then turns into dry humping, [reader] bent over the counter while andrew humps him, growling in his ear that he doesn't want to see this fucking bitch at their house ever again. andrew doesn't like sharing with strangers, besides, family comes first, right?

(I NEED ANDREW TO HUMP ME PLEASE, PLEASE)

----

coff-in

[velvet-vox]

My Top 10 Favourite Male Villains of all time.

"How arrogant of you to think that any of us are anything but irrelevant". -John Greer, Person of Interest (2011-2016).

There comes a moment in a blog's life where some things are just long overdue, and while the argument could be made that this happened way too early, I'd say that as long as this helps me to find my groove, I am free to experiment as much as I want.

So..... Villains.

Gotta love them. As long as I do not meet them in real life. This post is in particular about male villains since I have one dedicated to their female counterparts in the pipeline so expect that to come soon enough and for this part to be rewritten. By the way, "villain" is a generalisation, I can totally put antivillains, antagonists or more general antiheroes in this list; your definition of "Bad Guy" can vary greatly and so can mine, someone like Walter White from Breaking Bad could have made it in here. My taste is very unusual, so prepare yourself for some unexpected picks.

Also, since these are meant to be some big celebratory posts, for the occasion I'll reveal my Italian heritage and translate every line of dialogue in Italian and publish it separately with a link, so that English readers who are learning Italian can exercise.

Here's also a follow up to this post, the first part of my top 30 favourite female antagonists of all time. Check it out, if you are curious to see more.

The bad girls

But first, some honourable mentions:

Oropo (Wakfu): Once you see the number 2 spot for both this list and the female villains list you might notice that I tend to gravitate towards characters with wasted potential more often than not, but while we're just talking about this guy, I cannot stress enough the amount of unceremonious mishandling that lies within his concepts and execution. Really needed two seasons of 25 episodes each to explore it to their maximum.

Tai Lung (Kung Fu Panda): I love him, but not as much as others, it's a matter of personal preference. He's an amazing antagonist, so even if he is just an honourable mention, I wouldn't call him a lesser villain by any stretch of the imagination; I once felt like he was too sympathetic for his movie's sake, but looking back at it again, he's actually moderately evil for a lot of reasons, even if Shifu is the main one.

Bill Chyper (Gravity Falls): It's been way too long since I watched Gravity Falls, I really can't give you an accurate opinion on this guy anymore.

Flintheart Glomgold (DuckTales 2017): That season 2 episode. If you know what I'm talking about, you KNOW. Also the music for that whole sequence was a banger, really driving home the deranged nature of that twist reveal.

Big Jack Horner (Puss in Boots The Last Wish): I feel like when people praise Jack for being a breath of fresh air in a stale environment, they often forget just how good of a villain he was in his own right without the larger industry wide void of truly devious antagonists that act out of pure malice.

The Wolf (Puss in Boots The Last Wish): Two villain entries from one movie? Of course it was gonna be The Last Wish, what else could it be? Honestly I don't even wanna talk about this guy, you need to experience the movie for yourself.

Rob (The Amazing World of Gumball): Everything I have to say about this guy gets talked about much better by the number 6 Spot on this list, but as it stands Rob was my first villain OTP and the guy who opened the box of Pandora for me on what an antagonist could and should be, since then my perception of villainy only widened and now I enjoy their role in a story in much different way.

And now, with that out of the way, let's finally start with the ranking of my personal favourite male villains of all time.

Major spoilers down below:

Number 10: Silco (Arcane)

This guy is the reason that brought me to specify who or what counted for this list as trying to simplify Silco into one specific group of characters is a challenge that can only end in a misunderstanding of what makes Silco such a complex and fascinating character with an amazing character arc, that ends with him not being redeemed, mind you, but allows the audience to grieve in such a way that would make a side character death jealous.

When writing an antagonistic character, Silco is my goal and high standard, and just for that he deserves all of my respect and endless praise.

Now, admittedly, Silco's arc takes a while to kick in, but it works out to his advantage by the end of it since you don't realise just how much you've grown to care for him until he's dead and you're left with the surprise.

10 out 10, the nation of Zaun would have been much better (worse) with him than with Vander.

Number 9: The Riddler (DC)

The Riddler is literally my ride or die villain, when I'm in the mood for him, he's literally my favourite antagonist ever; when I am not in the mood for him, I completely forget about his existence.

When compared to many other entries on this list, Riddler is definitely more on the pop culture side of antagonism, and when you've been around for almost a century, you tend to have many different versions of the same character written by different writers, so I wanted to highlight here my favourite versions of him:

Arkham Games: He's hilarious. He's not my ideal Riddler, but whenever he comes on screen, his whiny rat's ass voice stimulates my pheromones.

Batman The Animated Series: I've heard somewhere that this version of him is disappointing, and to that I'll say... yeah, but only when he wasn't on screen, because otherwise, he kind of slayed.

Matt Reeves The Batman: This is the version that rekindled my love for him after so long. Out of every interpretation of The Riddler throughout the years, this is the one version that treated Edward more as a character rather than an obstacle for Batman to overcome, and for that I'll be eternally grateful.

LEGO Batman The Videogame: My very first introduction to The Riddler and the Batman universe as a whole, this version has a permanent place in my heart , I love how much information and emotion you can get out of him by just looking at his mannerisms and quirks alone; unironically, being silent helps him reach that quote on quote idealised version of Riddler that I was talking about earlier.

Number 8: The Snatcher (A Hat In Time)

There are many things that can carry on a villain in a story, their evolution, stage presence, complexity, thematic contrast to their counterpart, and so on and so forth. While an antagonist can check off many of these boxes simultaneously (like the one pictured), there's one box that is almost impossible to truly nail perfectly: comedy.

You see, comedy is subjective, and when your main antagonist is also the funniest part of a given story, it becomes hard to also match a sense of gravity and menace that allows them to also be an imposing threat, even harder is to give said antagonist depth and a tragic backstory.

But somehow, out of nowhere, The Snatcher from A Hat In Time manages to simultaneously be the funniest character in his section of the game, carrie said energy throughout the whole experience even down to the DLC, simultaneously strikes the balance between being scary, wholesome, sympathetic and tragic, exude an insane amount of charisma, all while having a deeply disturbing backstory that touches on some heavy themes and re contextualises his actions into something more complicated and out of a broken man, everything I just said + he's the biggest bastard in his videogame and never repents nor does he have his actions called out.

Snatcher really has all the right cards that make a stationary character work and uses them to his maximum potential, and it works because his character arc throughout the game is more about becoming affectionate to Hat Kid than it is about redeeming himself.

Lastly, his voice actor, Luke Sizemore, aka Yungtown, really sells the performance of this devious soul eating worm and burns his catchphrases into your brain for the rest of eternity, much like his boss theme,

Your Contract Has Expired

A song that switches around being scary, epic, energetic and desperate in a short, yet perfectly paced amount of time. You need to listen to it regardless of if you've played the game or not.

Fool.

Number 7: Judge Claude Frollo (Hunchback of Notre Dame)

You can never say no to a classic.

There's nothing that I could say that hasn't already been said by thousands of videos on YouTube, but I'll try anyway: you see, Frollo is the reason why we need a new term to identify certain villains that aren't "sympathetic" but still make you feel some sort of human emotion and a form of "I wish someone could give you the care you need to fix your life", I guess the term empathetic exists, but when do you really see it used?

Now, don't get me wrong, Frollo is absolutely not sympathetic in the slightest, he wants to r##e a Romani woman that's way younger than him, but you can still feel that he's very troubled about it in the Hellfire scene and has definitely a lot of unidentified issues and internalised bigotry that could be worked through, even if it's too late to work through them right now.

In general, I feel like people forget that the main reason why past Disney villains worked had to do more with their human traits juxtaposed to their malice rather than just their plain wickedness, otherwise the Horned King from the Black Cauldron would be top of the Disney villains league and that couldn't be further from the truth.

We should really strive towards writing more villains like Frollo, less omnipotent beings that end up falling flat because they don't have much thematic relevance aside from being a threat (Bill Chyper works because he represents Ego and he's used sparingly) and more average vicious individuals who use their power and influence to get what they want.

All in all, if you've seen The Hunchback of Notre Dame, then you know why this guy is here, but just to cite a couple of repeated points, the Hellfire scene is perfect. It's immaculate. It's unreproducible; there will never be another scene like this coming out of the House of Mouse or animation ever again, the excessive amount of stars and elements that came together to create this gothic classic is so vast that it's literally a miracle.

Frollo is truly the personification of the dark, twisted side of humanity peaking through the door and into your mind, from which he shall never escape as his performance still remains perfect to this very day.

Number 6: The Spot (Spider-man across the Spiderverse)

"You've hit me with a bagel!" It's still the greatest villain origin story of all time. There's truly something maniacal about this reveal, like the entire universe was shattered and reality was shocked at the mere realization that while Miles was having his coming of age moment back in the first film, this guy was having his normal life completely and utterly shattered by a combination of both our heroes stepping up to do the right thing and our doofus lack of foresight and self reflection; all of this stuff is hilarious and completely made up for the film but good god they did such an amazing job tying all the elements together in an unexpected way that makes sense and parallels the journey that our protagonist faced in the first movie.

Like with Rob from The Amazing World of Gumball, and a little bit like number 2 on this list, I just really enjoy the concept of turning background characters who had no relevance whatsoever into the big bad of the story who's been there all along and the heroes (and the audience) just couldn't notice.

With The Spot in particular, there's that sense of satisfaction of turning the wasted potential of a villain who has been underestimated for literal decades and treated as a "villain of the week" (God do I love the meta narrative of this movie) into an actual competent, well written antagonist that is aware of his reputation and strives towards bettering himself and his powers.

He's also the funniest character of his movie too and the voice acting of Jason Schwartzman only accentuates his mannerisms and pettyness.

He also has the coolest usage of portals I have ever seen and his whole "There's a hole inside all of us" metaphor is simultaneously hilarious and very deep personal information that can only be understood if you put yourself into his shoes.

I can't wait for Beyond the Spiderverse to come out and see how his arc resolves, more importantly, I wonder if he's going to rank higher in the future.

Number 5: Lord Shen (Kung Fu Panda)

"Happiness must be taken. And I'll take mine"

.....

What a character.

What a movie.

You cause so much pain and suffering, because you don't understand the people around you, and then those people banish you, and you can't understand why, so you start to believe that they hated you.

They never loved you, so you keep causing pain and suffering but it's not that easy anymore; the guilt starts to resurface, all those bodies keep piling up, but you can't stop because then it would have all been for nothing; so you keep chasing those dreams of grandeur because that's all you have left; the emptiness in your heart can no longer be filled by love, so you try to fill it with something else.

You try to fill it with power. You try to fill it with glory. You try to take everything else for yourself so that you can fill that cup, but it doesn't work, because that cup has no bottom.

And so you're left... with yourself.

And the damage you've done. But now it's different; you've failed. You are left with nothing. Nothing.

And so you outrage, for the last time... And then it all ends. Forever. And you've finally come to accept this, after all....... Who could ever love you?

Number 4: Spamton G Spamton (Deltarune)

You know, in retrospect, it's kind of insane what Toby Fox managed to achieve when creating Spamton.

Not only because Spamton feels like the most insane combination of ideas ever conceived, but also because Toby Fox created such a complex character with such a complicated language and personality and then not only shafted it all aside for the players to go out of their way to interact, but also made all of this in what are officially 2 or 3 cutscenes at most (4 if you consider his shop encounter as one) and only one of them being truly mandatory.

You spend so little time with Spamton, and most of that time is spent fighting him, and yet by the end of it you've become enlightened by the knowledge of him, that after a while... you forget how scary it all was.

All the memes comparing Spamton with Turbo are 100% correct and justified, Spamton truly is Turbo but better; you go through an insane rollercoaster of emotions with this character that you are left absolutely dumbfounded when it all comes to a stop and you go back to play the rest of chapter 2 normally.

His insane mannerisms and mood swings are pretty funny at first, but once you peel back the layers a bit they reveal a pretty realistic and sad portrayal of mental illness, mania and hysteria coupled with an unhealthy amount of social distancing, loneliness, and abandonment issues, that reinforce into your brain the idea of someone lacking proper healthcare and needing to be locked away from society for their (society) own good, simulating the vicious cycle that Spamton lives by: nobody wants to help him but he's still expected to act like a regular individual despite the amount of hardships he's facing and the lack of a support system keeping him from falling back into his bad habits.

I'll admit, I've considered putting Spamton in place of the Number 3 spot on this list; but then I've realised that on an objective level, the next entry totally deserves to be ranked above Spamton; plus, with at least 5 more chapters of Deltarune on our way, whose to say that one of the next gremlins won't be able to dethrone even the number 1 spot?

Drumroll for our top 3:

Nox, the Watchmaker (Wakfu)

There will never be another experience in my life as cathartic as watching the first season of Wakfu for the first time ever again.

On a later rewatch, the initial problems that you've noticed throughout the first half of the season and a little bit in the second half become too apparent to ignore, but the first time everything that goes from the ball tournament to the finale is one of the best paced arcs of television, and everything that happens when the team reaches the Sadida kingdom is just peak Wakfu.

And the king, the culprit, the crown jewel of properly paced stories and arcs is no other than the sad clockwork dilf himself: Noximilliem Coxen the Watchmaker.

Arguably, the greatest sympathetic villain of all time. There has never been another case of a character who has committed such vile, unspeakable crimes, and yet still managed to make me root for them while simultaneously not putting down the heroes.

And let's not be mistaken here, Nox is pretty evil:

Aside from the generic murder, Nox also defiled and stitched together the corpses of multiple victims and turned them into his obedient puppets in order to commit even more murder and genocide in order to achieve his goals.

Also, this is one of the funniest crimes Nox has committed: he abused his dog. It's really not that hilarious nor is it that important in the context of the show, but if you look back at it from an outside perspective then it's really like: Oh yeah. That happened too. Lol.

One of the best parts of his entire arc is his defeat. The "20 minutes" scene deserves a "One Villainous Scene" coverage video to forever immortalise it amongst the greatest. Everything from the music, the subversiveness, the cinematography, the voice acting and just the general art direction of it is worthy of an Eminem award at the Oscars, there's genuinely nothing wrong with this scene, it's truly immaculate.

Words alone cannot do justice to the treacherous, gut wrenching emotional rollercoaster that is experiencing his story for the first time. An hour long video essay would only serve to cover the basics and fundamentals, while for the real deal you need to watch the first season of Wakfu for yourself.

Number 2:

Bradford Buzzard (DuckTales 2017)

And now it's the perfect time to pull out my final wild card, the hole of the sink of my autism, the masterpiece of wasted potential that is Bradford Buzzard from the DuckTales remake of 2017.

When you'll also see the number 2 spot on my villainesses list, you'll come to realise that this spot is more of the "I really wish I could put this at number one but I can't because objectively he doesn't deserve it and the majority of things I love about him in canon were probably an afterthought and in fanon were never plausible to begin with."

And that's how I feel about Bradford Buzzard, an antagonist I spent more time thinking about than probably anybody else on the Earth.

The show runners were so genius for this: we are going to create an original character that will probably struggle to maintain a foot print on the franchise due to the way the Duck verse works, we'll give him an insanely cool backstory and motivation, all coupled with interesting character traits and ideology, we'll make him the ultimate foil to Scrooge McDuck that has been working with him for literal decades, we'll make him the one who has got the closest to isolating Scrooge and destroying his family, and THEN we'll turn him into a generic anime villain that shoots lasers and fumbles his own plan and loses because of insane plot armour and contrivance. Good job writers.

Anyway, I should probably make the case for why this guy ranks so highly in my mind to the point of almost taking the podium for my most liked villain of all time, especially when compared to the stiff competition that we just went through.

Now, part of it is just because this is a personal top 10 and so I can put whoever I want in whatever order I want. But also, with Bradford in particular, there's a personal aspect of relatability, various interests, and passions all coming together to make him stand out in my brain.

The thing is, I've had a pretty strong connection to Disney's Duck's comic books my entire life, even if my love for them came dwindling over time, so when I finally started watching the Reboot and it was amazing, all of that buried passion and love finally re emerged back to the surface, turning me into an annoying super fan. But while season 1 and 2 were great, season 3 actually gave me something to latch on for the rest of time even after the show had ended: the character of Bradford Buzzard.

You see, DuckTales, both in the shows and comics, always had a plethora of villains; from the crazy, megalomaniacal millionaires, to witches, demons, and other mythological creatures, to power hungry aliens, to straight up super-villains. But while all of that is true, there has never been another villain, aside from Magica, Glomgold and Rockerduck at traits, that was built specifically as the anti Scrooge McDuck, and even further, there has never been another antagonist who challenged the very core ideas and concepts of the entire franchise.

Bradford is like the Frank Grimes of DuckTales: just a regular, average, real world guy who's fed up with the nonsensical constant state at which their fictional universe operates and seeks to correct it in the most logical way possible. And while Frank was ultimately a victim of a world in which he couldn't conform, Bradford's outrageous and extreme plans and methods put him on everybody's hit list until he was left all alone, but not before indirectly causing every major disaster throughout the reboot's runtime.

A cold, calculating, machiavellian mastermind whose impact and presence secretly permeates the show, right till the very end.

Shame he wasn't written better.

And now, for the one and only,

Number 1:

Qilby (Wakfu)

Qilby is the biggest example of an anomaly that you could ever observe in a work of fiction. The first time experiencing a story is the most important and impactful moment of that story, as every future rewatch won't be as good as the first. In particular, this is an important aspect of twist villains, as they can only surprise you the first time, since at future rewatches the twist becomes predictable.

Furthermore, if the twist ends up ruining the character that was established up to this point, or it doesn't make any sense, then the story is kind of ruined and it only gets worse on future rewatches, since now you know that everything that you are seeing right now is ultimately worthless and doesn't provide any value.

So why do we love twist villains and keep churning them out? Well, you see, it's a matter of execution. A bad guy introduced in an unconventional manner is much more memorable than one introduced in a straightforward way; the twist can also serve to showcase different aspects of the character before becoming an obvious obstacle, be it quirks, interests, personality in casual settings, or cunning.

Let's not beat around the bush.

If Nox is the single greatest sympathetic villain of all time, then Qilby is by far the greatest twist villain of all time, and the crazy thing is, that he surprises you two times in a row, at first by revealing himself as more evil than you could ever imagine, and then, by outing himself as more complex than you could have ever anticipated.

Let me paint you the picture: you just finished the first season of Wakfu, and you are still pretty fresh of the hype surrounding Nox, so you think to yourself "Oh, now every future antagonist is ruined because nothing could ever top the emotional gut punch that I just went through. Whatever, I'm going to stick around just to see if the story gets worse" and you start the second season.

So far, everything is normal, even better of the first season in terms of engagement value, but you can't help but feel the lack of a Nox like figure inside of the story, but at this point, you just accept it.

Then the final six episodes roll around and OH MY GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING, HAS THE WHOLE SHOW JUST GONE INSANE?

Somehow, in some mystical, french, magical way, the season 2 finale is arguably even better than the ending of season 1 despite the fight having less buildup and introducing a lot of brand new characters and an entirely irrelevant faction into his conflict.

The entirety of the scene in Emrumb is some of the best writing I have ever experienced in any work of fiction, and the music accompanying it only accentuates the repressed dopamine being released after various episodes of filler, all of them important for this moment to be as impactful as it is.

Qilby is also just a great, tragic character, that is simultaneously an unforgivable bastard that tried to kill his family and doomed his entire race for a family trip, and a sad, nihilistic man still trying to reconcile his love for his family and his need for knowledge and discovery; his curse never truly allows him to move on or relate to others but his ego and need for his forgetful brothers attention just pushes him even further into resentment, ending up damaging himself and those around him, until he's finally isolated again by the vary people he harmed and showed his love towards.

He's as good as the evil secret sibling trope can get and I never get tired of watching him on screen. His reveal scene to Adamai still gives me the chills to this very day and demonstrated me just how good the surprise villain concept can get when it's executed correctly.

Just an all around great show.

[willowmosby]

I have over the last 5 months watched all 15 seasons and the immortality special of the original CSI. I have no plans to watch the reboot anytime soon so I thought I would info dump my thoughts, and if love to know how others feel. I will now present a very very long post with breakdown some quick thoughts on the seasons, more thoughts on most of the characters and a few ships.

Tldr: I really enjoyed CSI as a whole and I'm sad to say goodbye to a formula and some characters I've really grown attached to. ( And If there is a good Nick Stokes written into immortality fic please lmk)

Seasons:

I do think the early seasons the most fun/ light hearted, which feels weird to say when it literally opens with Sara investigating Warrick for negligence. I kinda wish I had blogged along or something so I could be more detailed in my response about them.

Like a lot of shows I think it really hit its stride in the middle seasons. If I had to pick a few seasons to watch it be 5-7. It also helps that I had finally gotten used to the lighting.

I think the 9- 11 stretch is too serious, don't get me wrong there were some bangers but overall not great

12-15 they were better and back to a little more fun, and I think the series kept its footing pretty well in its final innings. It was no golden era and I felt really bad that Catherine got demoted but I really enjoyed it. ( Well ok I really wasn' a gig harbor arc fan)

Immortality was a fine special, although I don't really feel like it stuck the landing. Part of that will probably become obvious when I talk about my character and ship takes but I also just felt the case could have been better. It's the freshest in mind, obviously, so I will say I really loved having Catherine and Grissom back and if anything I felt like it gave good closure for them and to a lesser extent Sara.

Characters( kinda in the order of their exit):

The lab rats: Bobby, Mandy, Archie icons every one of them. There is a world where Wendy, Hodges and Henry get their own sections but I feel like they would appreciate being in this group. Never pushed into too much melodrama their characterization, always great at their jobs. I would love to grab drinks with any of them

The cops: Brass will get his own sections but to summarize my feelings on all the others. They did their job and I love that for them. They almost never overstayed their welcome but they also aren't the reason I'm watching this show. The only two I would want to get drinks with are the should have been lesbian Sofia Curtis ( she almost got her own section but then i got lazy) and the best uniform in the business, the man, the myth, my man officer Mitchell.

Warrick Brown: My smooth talking gambling king. He was definitely missed after his death. While I didn't love his characterization in the greda Arc, I usually really enjoyed his dynamic with the team and his drive to the job. His death was the closest I came to stopping my watching. His skills with kids are underrated ( probably cause Nick and Catherine are so good) and I do have a say on top of all his intelligence and skills at the job he is so handsome. I think he might go a little too hard for me to enjoy getting drinks with him but I would still do it.

Gill Grissom: My second favorite Dr. Bug ( sorry no one can beat Jack Hodgins) he really is the smartest person on the show. You can always feel his passion for science which is lovely. While sometimes out of touch or oblivious he is usually incredibly kind. I liked his tie to the deaf community. You can pull the fact that he is Demi from my cold dead hands. In a lot of the ways he was the heart of the show and it definitely shows when he left. His relationships with Catherine, Warick, Nick and of course Sara were well developed. I would kill to get a drink with him just to listen to him talk science.

Riley Adams: she gets a section as it is rude for me to not mention a character who was in the credits but she's fucking white bread milk toast. Would not bother getting drinks.

Raymond Langston: I love his relationship with Robbins and I think he's incredibly smart. But I just think the show gave him way way too much too quickly. I mean just compare it to the fucking effort Greg put in to reach CSI or that as new CSI 3 there was a long stretch where Nick didn't get his own cases. I appreciated his complex background but he brought with him the Haskell arc which was just too fucking long and serious. I would get a singular glass of wine with him.

Catherine Willows: What a girl boss. And I mean that is all the best and worst ways. I really love her at her best but man some of her lows are just.. no fun. She is absolutely vital to the show's success and 9/10 times she is out there taking no prisoners and careing for her team. Just you know wish she hadn't shown her daughter a dead body or faked a crime scene with a new guy to name some examples. She could drink me under the table no doubt.

Jim Brass: While never my favorite character I always appreciate seeing him on my screen. Competent enough to hang with the scientist and still be a good cop. I appreciated how dedicated he was to his daughter but Just not personally my vibes. I would get a drink with him but uhh maybe make it non alcoholic cause it's unclear if he needs sobriety help.

Julie Finlay: She's sweet and very very good at her job. If she had come earlier on she might be one of my favorites just my top 3 was already filled. She brings a good balance back to the team, and she has a weird level of breaking and respecting the rules that I enjoyed. She very quickly had such a good dynamic with all the returning favs that there are moments I forgot she was so new. She's got big Bi & Poly energy. I know the actress wasn't coming back but I would've paid to see her interact with Grissom. Sad that she died off screen but also kinda glad they didn't end 15 with her completely dead. I would absolutely get drinks with her, probably mimosas despite my dislike for them.

Morgan Brody: eh shes fine. I feel like despite everything she still comes off as naive. I love her relationship with Eklie and Hodges but overall she left something to be desired. Nothing that I super disliked but I do kinda wish some of her screen time went to Sara or someone else.

D.B Russell: he was honestly a breath of fresh air, well until he wasn't. I think I just love Ted Dansion for one but also I felt like Russell was a beautiful balance between caring and professional. It was nice to have a supervisor who was actually kinda good at politics. I love that he actually cares for his kids and loves his wife ( although I was informed by my mother that he is divorced in Cyber). I do kinda wish the kept the bit where he laid on the ground as a body but mostly cause I found it way funnier than it is. I really hated the gig harbor killer arc and I felt like a large reason is it made him too serious. I would get a drink with him, but honestly I'd love to have a full meal with his family

Super Dave: what a lovable but weird dude. Genuinely a great example of how you can blend strange comments with kindness and consistency to create a great character. I would love to grab a drink with him.

Doc Robbins: What an honest man and in the running for the best M.E ( up there with Ducky and Cam). I'm glad he mostly stayed out of the drama and appreciated that he was always thorough, even when people were occasionally questioning his own work. Not kind to a fault but definitely empathetic. I would 100% grab a drink with him.

Now to the top 3, the best of the best, the ones who were in for the long haul.

Nick Stokes: Whether it's the sweet Texas accent and big bown eyes or the fact that he's the longest running main cast member I do think he is my favorite. Empathetic and kind, almost to a fault, he is also a man's man who can hold his own against the worst criminals. The show put him through the absolute fucking ringer but he still leaves with a smile on his face. Even when he clashes with other characters I feel like he resolves the problems better than other people. He definitely could have benefited from good therapy but I still love him anyway. His skills with kids are so nice and grounded in his backstory. Loved that he became the new big guy. Occasionally they try and paint him as a bit of a player but given he sleeps with like 2 women over 15 seasons it doesn't super add up. This is definitely the queer in me talking but he gives huge repressed Gay energy. Like a lot of his early arc is about graining confidence in himself. Not to mention,his relationship with Warrick and Greg are so filled with undertones and honestly let that man get fucked and some of his problems might go away. Anyway. So I guess more power to the actor for not coming back for even a cameo but I really really felt the lack of him in immortality. So If anyone knows a fanfic where he's there lmk I would read that shit in a heartbeat. Would get drinks with him, would die for him.

Greg Sanders: I love rave going lab rat Greg. I love the new CSI trying to prove himself to Greg. I love mob history author Greg. I mean he's got to be one of the most intelligent characters on the show- he's good at science and history- and it never makes him come off as rude or entitled. I think his shift from lab rat to CSI, whether intentional or accidental, is well built. He is criminally oh I mean so so so criminally underutilized in immortality. I dislike when he's angry and there are certainly episodes where he feels off but overall he's just so lovable. Disgusting hair choices but hey at least that was a consistent trait. His relationship with Nick and Sara throughout the whole show are really great and after 15 seasons they really do feel like they've been a team for 15 years. He gives Huge Bi energy so I would take him to a gay club for drinks and dancing.

Sara Sidle: You can call her a problematic fav all you want but she's a bad bitch and everyone should love her. She is so great at her job and she never lacks humanity. The show kinda lost track of her exact backstory at some point but I don't care too too much as she stays strong willed and passionate the whole show. Her will to never quit and iconic smirks will stay winning forever. I have thoughts on her relationship with Grissom but bottom line she knew what she wanted and got it. Her friendship with all the main cast, particularly Greg and Nick, is really lovely and shows how she has grown and changed over 15 seasons. Because I actually care about continuity I would not get an actual alcoholic drink with her but non alcoholic drinks aplenty would be had if I could meet her.

Ships:

Listen I don't have a real finger on the pulse of what ships are popular as this show finished airing 10 years ago and I was trying to not be super spoiled.

That being said

GSR: I'm not super into Grissom/ Sara ( side note I know the Internet was a different place 20 years ago but who picked GSR as their ship tag), but I'm also not against it. I think they have a big "match my freak" energy which is nice but. I don't know I just feel like by the end of it Sara could do better. Like she gave up the lab director for the guy who asked her for a divorce. I still think it's better than some other options just you know not like my otp. 8/10

Catherine/ Warrick: I think that the flirting was all fun and games and then if became too much. Let's be honest neither of them are built for committed relationships. Probably would have been better then whatever the fuck was happening with Warrick and Tina. 5/10

Catherine/ Vartann: its canonical and like they were fine I didn't hate it didn't love it. Probably better for Catherine in the long term than any other of her potential ships 6/10

Nick/ Greg: idk if this is super popular but it's my otp for the show. They seem like they bring out the best in each other. Nicks more clean cut natural could balance out the more chaotic ature of greg. Obviously with the era the show was made in I don't think that there tension was intentional but it's still there. From the name that chemical compound game to working together until the end of really think they would be great. 11/10

Nick/ Warrick: I had to mention for the just two dudes who have homoerotic tension energy but ehh Warrick dose really read straight to me in every other context. 3/10

Wendy/ Hodges: ehh they give straight white couple who should have just talked about their feelings. 4/10

Hodges/ Henry: is this a real ship? idk man, But it's an friends to enemies to lovers I would love to read. 6/10

Morgan/ Greg: ok part of this is the my ship bias( see above) but I did not like them together. Their flirting is not good, his anger at her kidnapping too extreme, idk I Just really feels like they operate in different levels. 0/10

Morgan/ Hodges: I actually thought this was really sweet and was super said they went with the parents dating thing. I think they understood each other on a really fun level and that they brought out the best in each other. I loved how supportive they were of each other even in seemingly poor decisions. 8/10

Finn/ D.B: I would assume that this is the popular het ship for the them but uhh D.B is so happily married and Finn ( much like Warrick and Catherine) doesn't really give monogamous relationship. 0/10

Finn/ Sara: 100% queer women projection but uhh just imagine post divorce Sara figuring out her identity with Finn and they try friends with benefits but then need more. 6/10

If you made it this far thanks so much for reading and id love to hear others thoughts as I do a deep dive into this show. I Will be reading plenty of fanfiction and may start CSI: NY to appease the new hole in my heart.

[jack-kellys]

i hate the song something to believe in dearly and truly. it’s the one part of newsies i cannot reconcile because it’s just so bad

please fix it. or do something with it

it’s just not a banger i agree. alright.

send me issues from the Plot or Script of this darn show. and i’ll fix them onstage

so my rules for this is that i cannot cut the song. i cannot invent a scene bc i did that already & that’s cheating.

i do think tho that the key to being… fine with something to believe in is the scene right before. i think that scene MUST be fucking stellar in order for the song to be passable. and the scene before…augh. it could also be written better. the positionally of it and the context and the stakes are more interesting than what they say to each other. except. for.

“don’t say it like it happens every day. i’m not an idiot- i know girls like you don’t wind up with guys like me. i don’t want you promising nothing you’re just gonna have to take back later. but standing here tonight, looking at you… i’m afraid tomorrow’s gonna come and change everything.” EATS.

what’s rly important abt jatherine to me is that jack like. literally does not express his fears to anyone else except her. he talks about regret and anger with davey in wwh(r), i’m not counting that as fear. kath is the only person in the show he shares this with. and what he’s afraid of is being alone.

tomorrow coming means he did vote for the disbanding of the union, it means all the kids he loves are angry and done with him, tomorrow means everyone is gone from his life. (in his pov).

so katherine has a job with this song. she has to refute those fears, finally admit that she’s fallen for him, which means he won’t be alone, even if he leaves. he’ll be in her heart, he’ll have a home there, even if he were to get on a train the next day. she initially comes into this scene demanding something of him, but when she learns his actions were done out of this loyalty and his fear for others & himself… wow. “you snuck up on me, jack kelly. i didn’t even see it coming.” YOU KNOW?? going from “cocky little sonofa” to “of course there’s something” is wild for her

she needs to see him FULLY and completely by this point. idt she does until now, it has to be here for this scene & song to mean anything. this is her almost like. protecting his scared little heart. she says she’s in love (he doesn’t), she assures him it’s okay that it might be for a short time, that it’s random, that things like this CAN be something that happens any day. she offers terms that are accessible to jack, that can let him love her. belief conquers fear, undermines it, and if there’s something reporters are good at it’s getting to the root of something. she just has to take an angle that she didn’t expect from herself.

i think honestly the only line that genuinely bugs me abt this song is jack calling her “an angel come to save him”…. especially cause that boy ain’t white anymore we’ve grown passed that as a community so now it’s like. eugh like SURE, sure, but jack u did lead the strike. with ur boys. and ur leadership skills. and ur love for them. so i think this can be said as a knowing tease and she can wave it off and blush and whatever. u can make it cute i promise.

smth abt uksies that was stellar (wow what a shocker rizz is praising uk newsies…) was how emotive and present bronté’s kath was thru this song, she reacted to every word jack said to her. as long as she’s present i think this scene and consequentially the song can work. u just cannot forget abt katherine’s stakes and her journey of learning abt who jack kelly really is. it’s not a bad song bc it’s a love song it’s bad bc it’s not…. actually about how THEY fell in love. the courage and fear line from seize the day should’ve had a reprise moment here bc that’s what their relationship is based on.

if newsies rly was a love story i think that would be the proper theme through their whole arc together. jatherine is about fear and courage. and so is the show. tbh. just saying

[butch-bakugo]

Im so glad we all rightly clocked the Minecraft movie as probably going to suck and I'm not alone. I was so worried I was just being a pessimist but after seeing what other's have said and what moistcritickal posted (haven't watched it yet), I feel a bit safer sharing my opinion. So, as a mc fan and player for almost, if not exactly, 10 years, I'll give my opinion.

It wants to be the super Mario movie. It wants to be it SO BAD but it doesn't care to actually commit to it. So many awesome movies about gaming IP have come out over the last 5 years from the Mario movie and the fnaf movie to detective pikachu and sonic. All bangers. Idk what it is apparently about 2024 and letting the most sludgy shitty gaming movies being announced/coming out but this is... Not it. This and the borderlands movie (tbf I'm only repeating popular opinion as I haven't seen the movie and am not a fan of the franchise but mega and even casual fans plus it's horrific box office say it enough. ) are probably gonna end up the same.

It looks terrible. Period. Almost everything in it looks terrible and I garentee it's budget was 150 to 300 mil and it still looks like fucking garbage. It can't even commit to being a live action or animated movie. It wants to be both so bad and not lose the recognition of the 2 celebrities it dumped probably a quarter of the budget on. Everything from the mobs to the world design to the cgi already looks like fucking garbage. It looks so fucking bad y'all I'm not even exaggerating. Holy shit. Everything has that fuckin cursed style of realistic components but cartoonish attitude and shape. Everything in the trailer looks like jigglypuff or Mr. Mime from detective Pikachu bred with sonic before everyone bullied them into giving him justice.

Tell me this shit doesn't have the same fucking energy.

This isn't cute, it was never cute, it's fucking creepy to put hi-def details on an originally cartoonish characters. Its giving fleshball with hair. Side note, since tf when were creepers made of grass and leaves n shit? I feel like I'd puke if I touched one by accident.

I want to give credit where credit is due and say the piglins and the ghasts look great. I fuckin love the fact the ghasts are stitched at the seems. They look great. It's almost like cartoon proportions but realistic style can look good in its creepy nature when out on top of characters who are supposed to look creepy and not right. 🙄

I have no idea why they wouldn't just fully animate this movie. Why are there fully human live action actors in this bitch but literally everything else is CGI. These poor actors are just standing on green screens when they very literally could have just been live action segments of them popping in and out of the world of Minecraft while voicing their minecrafty looking selves while animated. Literally just give it the ready player one treatment. Also why is Steve, the titular Minecraft character, a live action human as well? Even if your weird fascination with Zionist autism-speaks devotee Jack black is what you paid ungodly money for, he's a good voice actor. He showed that in the Mario movie as Bowser. Why does he have to be not only an IRL human but also his beard nor skin tone match canonical Steve. Jason Momoa, the only moc on the cast of human characters, would match Steve's actual skin tone. The boy's got melanin, Jack does not.

Speaking of the human characters, I can smell the uninteresting cookie-cutter nerdy boy with a crush he needs to profess to protagonist a mile away, I'm sure the little girl character is tough on the outside but soft when she warms up and is quirky and joins the bad guys for a bit only to come back but never has any actual character, idk litterally anything about the adult woman character other than her outfit is giving Dora and she litterally says nothing during the trailer and jason Momoa? I'm alittle worried. First off, why you got this whole ass man in that shitty ass wig. That is party city shit. I could find better for $8 on Amazon. Second off, though I think he's trying to be like... 80s 90s pop star twisted sister style shit, im NGL... My first thought was " is this a transmysognistic caricature?" Because of notch and the fact he moves pretty femininely through the trailer. I won't judge it yet but like... My hackles were UP up. I'm stressed. Another thing of note? No Alex nor Villagers. The villages were there and actively plundered but no villagers.

Something interesting of note is that the villagers were originally made, by notch, to be antisemitic caricatures. That's why they have the big nose, the nasally voice, considered primitive, the specific obsession with emeralds of all gems, why their deals always suck and they come off greedy. Mojang did very little to change their original design and even though you couldn't tell nessesarily without knowing that context that the villagers were a caricature, that doesn't make them less of one and Mojang really should of made the choice to change them by now. I, like many other allies and obviously the Jewish community, always felt a little uncomfortable with them but are now especially nervous about their more realistic but still cartoony take. We've seen plenty of human/realistic but cartoonish takes on villagers fully lean into the caricature with hooked noses, pointed ears and other common ethnicly Jewish features. Some even Include Payots ( the curly pieces of hair worn on orthodox Jewish men), Yamakas and stars of davids. These are clearly antisemitic caricatures and I, and many other fans, are worried about their one screen translations. I can only hope they humanize them as some more realistic takes on villagers can be good.

My second to last note is the setting, holy fuck is it UGLY ugly. Like I dont watch any Minecraft YouTubers or streamers so I'm not accustomed to tracing rays 1,000 mods realistic lighting, realistic resources, needs huge processors to run without the computer becoming the same temp as the surface of the sun to be happy with the way it looks but like... Ew. I play raw mc, no mods on console (and PC at one point but that was awhile ago and also with no mods) and I, through buildings or natural landscapes and locations, etc have seen prettier lighting and locations than what they chose. Like, one of the many joys of Minecraft is the simplistic but natural and real and relaxing atmosphere the world of Minecraft can be. Even when it's raining or snowing. Minecraft sunsets and sunrises after you spent the last real world 56,000 hours on this big building complex and finally resting and watching the sunrise over your work and the mountains or ocean or forest or even desert around you become pink then yellow then bright as the start of a new day is a healing experience. It can be emotional even. That landscape looked like garbage. Incredibly monotonous and boring and plain. Just nothing. How you squeeze the very easy thing of a beautiful atmosphere out of Minecraft is beyond me.

Speaking of emotions, let's talk about the story and the humor/dialogue. I'll start with the later and end my thoughts with the former. The humor, the little we did see, seemed at least a little bit on brand for Minecraft. The animals especially. I'll give it that, I just hope it's not unending poop or fart or pee jokes. Finally, I, like many others, are very worried this is a modern isekai ass Jumanji style shit take of minecraft. We are very worried this is just modern people shoved into minecraft to solve a problem, save the world and leave. This isn't what Minecraft's about, it's not it's messaging nor ever been a " hero/band of heros story" about saving the world, I don't even think it will honor the final poem of the game.

Minecraft has always always ALWAYS been about community, belonging, making a place for yourself in a world that won't accept you, working together and coexisting. It's about peace. It's about sharing. These messages are very near and very dear to the 6 yr old gen alphas who've been playing it since they were 2 or 3 yrs old and beat it 60 times to the elder Gen z and millennials like me who grew up with the game and have a special place in our hearts for the world's we've built and lost to the 89 yr old grandma who played it over covid and built a home for her whole family to visit and live in with all the accommodations they could want. Minecraft is for all ages and everyone has either played it or heard of it, it is the most successful singular game in the world ffs. It has sold more copies than ANY single game in existence, over the most common production of solitaire and Tetris and Space invaders AND any super Mario or Pokemon game. Minecraft rakes in over billions of dollars and millions of players every single year. Those who start playing it struggle to stop. It's a cultural icon, a seriously beloved and wholesome one. One the fans truly took, made it their own for everyone's benefit and spawned so much spin off media and love that it's done better than most games could ever dream to do. Minecraft's success and communal love, despite the unsavory trend of pedo and bigoted YouTubers centered on the game, is its soul. It's driving force. Its succession literally cannot be understated and cannot not be attributed to its fans.

I fear this movie is a slap in the face money grab disrespectful turd in a doggy bag left on the community's porch. I fear this movie will have none of the game's and community's values and lessons and love. I fear this movie will do what Mario, sonic and fnaf did not, hurt it's audience. I, like many other fans, already have an unsavory taste left in our mouth's from this trailer pie and we can only hope it didn't come from American pie or the help. The movie looks fucking soulless. It looks corporate. Like it only exists to make money off the already successful IP that is Minecraft. Like they saw the box office explosive success of sonic and Mario and fnaf and decided to shit something else explosive out as quick as possible to jump on the trend. I fear because it's fucking Hollywood, the messages it holds will be watered down and tasteless like a fucking LaCroix where someone ate a cubic millimeter of an orange peel and shat in my can and called it flavor. It'll be the same old schmut that every kid friendly movie has. It will have no nods to and for its existing fans to comb through and point out and smile that they are seen.

It may not even have a fucking ender dragon or a wither. Will it even have the nether? People already pointed out that most movie trailers include some of the big cool (expensive) parts of the movie and if they eventually fight the ender dragon, they would of probably included that in the trailers due to how cool (expensive) that scene would be. It's not there. All we see is piglins, a relatively small enemy in the game, pillaging villages (why no , ya know, actual pillagers pillaging. Why piglins... Who are barely present in the over world....who dont attack unless provoked... and only attack the player not suddenly aggro with every AI in sight... Why are they attacking villagers suddenly....) which.... Isn't super interesting. That and the irl actors walking around and discovering how to fucking play the basic shit in Minecraft like getting wood.. and making crafting tables.... And talking to Steve. Like this has bad shitty written all fucking over it... I'm so worried.

We, the fans who work and love this game tirelessly, deserve better than isekai diet Jumanji live action meets shitty animated garbage.... I can only hope and pray that my take on this ages poorly. I hope it ages poorly and I'm horribly wrong and it's the next fnaf movie and shows huge amounts of respect for the fans. I want to be wrong. I want us to be respected. However you can't ignore the blood in the handkerchief concerning movies with a highly popular IP, too many a-list celebrities, high costs and piss poor CGI. It rarely doesn't lead to disaster. Please let me be wrong.

[book--wyrm]

Pengu Ep 7 liveblog time!!

Oh boy.

Oh we are starting strong with a flashback huh

Oh no we are starting strong with some brotherly jealousy. Two minutes in and I am already leaning towards Oz killing his siblings to monopolize his mom's attention

"Is [Rex's car] made of real gold?" "It's just paint"

Not Jack smarter at 15 than Oz is at 50

NOT THE "PARENT NOT BEING PAID ENOUGH" COMING BACK

Also I was wrong Oz is the middle child it seems.

Oz such a lil cheater lol

Oh my god.

Ohhhh my god. That's almost worse than anything I could have expected.

I should have realized. I should have realized. A single moment of stupid, thoughtless, selfish cruelty is all it takes. And an unwillingness to ever face the reality of what he did.

And this makes his snapping at Vic for the Jack thing so much worse. Jack was the son who got shit done. And Oz killed him.

THE TAPPING AND THE BANGING AND THE TAPPING AND THE BANGING AND I CANNOT DEAL WITH THIS FUCKIGN SHOW OH MY GOD I CANNOT DEAL WITH THIS FUCKING SHOW HOW IS IT SUCH A BANGER EVEN WHEN IT MAKES ME WANNA DIE

Oh shit Vic's here lmao.

Why is there a gap between Sofia nabbing Francis and Sal showing up. Did sofia go it alone. I bet she did.

Fuck the guilt get me results

Love Sofia sending one of her boys to make sure Sal doesn't kill Oz. Sofia doesn't trust Sal, and Sal refutes the idea of Sofia leashing him. In any other show this would telegraph a late episode betrayal between them but with this show i really don't know

Love the scraping noise coming in before the visual

do you feel better ahhhhh

i need more sal and sofia

Sofia why cant you bring me breakfast too. i'll eat a singular toast for u

I love Francis ngl. She's so caustic even in the face of danger.

They didnt' have their umbrellas

Hahaha ngl sofia deserved that

oh my god i legit thought she was gonna brain julian with the kettle lmaoooo i love the way they do diegetic sound design

I kinda hope francis gets to kill julian ngl. i love julian but i just think its what francis deserves

"The Gigante and the Maroni families" not sal putting sofia's name first. this feels too prominent. i am scared

Oh boy oh boy oh boy if this wasn't a penguin show this would feel like a perfect place for Sal to twoface his opponent

Wow is sal dying of a heart attack. Right now? Bro. Timing.

Huh. I see what they're doing, with the stolen valor and the robbed victory. But I wish they'd set up the heart condition earlier.

Oh boy is this where Sofia breaks bad and kills a kiddo. Oh my god wait Gia is in a kid's psychiatric hospital Sofia literally reenacting her own trauma on this preteen she is so full of problems

SOFIA TURNING INTO HER DAD AND ALSO JULIAN HAHAHAHA

THIS IS A GIFT SOFIA BABY YOU NUTCASE

god i am glad she confessed though. like it was in the worst way possible to say that to a child but.

this is the only time we have seen sofia cry. not even when she found alberto.

DR SUBDROP DOING RAVE SHIT

sofia speedrunning self awareness in the penultimate episode

i am slightly afraid again that julian is gonna lobotomize sofia

sofia you were so close baby. you could have just walked away with your boy toy and a bag of cash and gone to metropolis

she should have gotten free wahhhhhhhhhh

we all know it's not gonna happen

we all know its not gonna happen

my heart is fucking palpatating rn

i need to pause my fucking blood pressure

IS SOFIA RUNNING FOR MAYOR. I WANT SOFIA TO RUN FOR MAYOR

AHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

OH MY GOD BOMB SHELTERING IN HIS BROTHERS GRAVES

HAHHAHAAH my prediction of Oz blowing it all to block sofia + sal was the wrong way around oh my god i love her so much

Oh wow. Wooowwwwww. Young Oz really breaking his mother and making her into the woman who makes him a monster.

is it bad i want him to find his brothers skulls down here. is that bad.

boo it didnt happen.

Wow mr cop actually came back huh.

well i was totally off base on everything!!! i am so happy

[thequeenofthewinter]

9 Aesthetic Albums

I was tagged by @dirty-bosmer and @sheirukitriesfandom. Thanks guys!

Rules: Display my 9 favorite album covers for art reasons not content.

I am tagging @oblivions-dawn @bougainvillea-and-saltwater @vivifriend @bostoniangirl21 @umbracirrus.

I don't know if I can say these are my all time favorite, but they're the favorites of the ones I personally own.

Hotel California -- The Eagles. This is such a classic in so many ways. I mean, look at it. Not only does it have the 70's hotel vibes but also this album is a banger. I grew up listening to this as a kid with my dad, and now that I collect vinyl, I have my own copy. (My dad unfortunately lost his.)

In Rainbows -- Radiohead. There is rainbow text and like space stuff. How could I not pick this? I know we aren't picking these for their content, but I also have to say, this is also an excellent album. I know OK Computer gets all the hype but this one is also muah.

Dance Fever -- Florence + the Machine. I mean, it's a Florence cover. (This is the alternate cover which I bought at Target. Love Target.) Anyway, red-haired antique-y pirate dress vibes. Yassss! Man, I am realizing this is also a list of recommendations. This album is also so good.

Kitsungi -- Death Cab for Cutie. Black and white minimal idk what is happening here vibes.

Everything in Transit -- Jack's Mannequin. Cartoon lazy California vibes. I have never even been to California. Guess I should go because there are two Californias here.

Escape -- Journey. It's a Journey album. It's 80s. The colors here and using 4 instead of "a". Journey was doing this decades before this was cool. Truly ahead of their time. Yes, "Don't Stop Believin"' is here. Also "Stone in Love" and "Open Arms". It's a good--no, great album. Listen, I know I am putting these here for aesthetics, but I also have to tell you my favorite Journey album is Frontiers. This one is probably my second though. My mother is a HUGE Journey fan, and I also grew up listening to all of these songs. She actually still has all her vinyl. (I also have my own copies.)

Here, Here, and Here -- Meg & Dia. Fall vibes and a random child laying back in the grass. You can't tell me this isn't a vibe.

Even if it Kills Me -- Motion City Soundtrack. Idk what's happening here. You don't know what's happening here. No one knows what's happening here except mid-00's emo, and if you notice most of the picks here are oldies/mid-00's emo, that's because that's what I listen to mainly. The pink and blue speak to me. Random people are so random. I want to know what he's whispering into her ear. If you made it this far into my ramble, tell me what you think it is. Wrong answers only.

Broken Social Scene -- Broken Social Scene. The fiery sunset is just too much for my braincells along with the black and white buildings. I look at this and think maybe I could have done it...but I didn't! Also a banger. Anything Broken Social Scene is a banger. You should go listen to them.

[crispplant]

TWST BUT ITS MY STONER HCS FOR THEM I GUESS

guys I don’t know how to make the text a diff color how do I do that. NVM I FIFURED IT OUT

Anyways um my hcs for twst gang on whether or not they smoke b. C I’m high rn & I want to

HEARTSLABYUL

Riddle: u look me in the eye & tell me he hasn’t tried taking a hit at least once. He broke the rules like once when he was younger he’s definitely done it again. Trey & Chenya offered him a hit once btw I was there. I think it was just a one time thing for him tho, he did it once & decided he didn’t like it so he hasn’t done it since

Ace: not a stoner and has not smoked before, but deffo wants to. If u asked him to join a sesh he’d be like hell yeah & then be internally shitting himself bc it’s his first time smoking. Gets the munchies when he’s high (bro would luv Taco Bell btw)

Deuce: somehow I think he hasn’t yet. wants to try it but also a lil nervous abt it idk. would only smoke with ppl hes totally comfy with (ace, yuu, u get it)

Cater: trying to fight off the demons telling me he’d be a stoner but like. I just feel like he Could be ynk. Actually. I think he’s the type to only have hit pens before. I think he has a pen. Bro probably suddenly panics and pats down all his pockets going “where’s my pen”. I mean this in the most endearing way I luv him okay

Trey: also fighting off the demons telling me he’d be a stoner. I thinkkkk……I think he would not be a stoner but he’d be so chill w someone being like do u wanna join a sesh. I think he’s used to chenya smoking so he’d be so good at babysitting anyone who needs to be watched if they get a lil too high ynk. the big brother instinct kicks in & he’s like “okay you need to Sit down” (and sat I will be🫡)

SAVANACLAW

Leona: oh man. Oh man. Leona’s a stoner & I know bc I smoke w him btw. it just feels right ynk idk I just think he needs Smthn to keep him sane at that school and I just think part of it is weed. He shares w ruggie sometimes bc they’re actually bestest friends in the whole wide world obvi.

Ruggie: I think he picks up for whenever leona buys another ounce. He’s like walking thru the halls of nrc w an ounce on him & if anyone asks him abt it he’s just like haha idk what u mean. really only smokes w leona but will always say yes to a sesh if he’s invited. Deffo gets munchies & cooks up some banger meals for him & whoever he’s with. Coughs like a mf tho. He’ll be like choking so bad & leona has to be like “r u good”.

Jack: no. He’d just side eye someone if he smells weed on them. The way dogs do ynk. That’s all

OCTAVINELLE

Azul: no 1 azul hater tries to make hc for azul that doesn’t include being mean to him challenge. Level impossible. um . He um . I think no, he definitely watches the tweels get high & goes what the hell.freaks. but I don’t think he’s ever rlly felt compelled to smoke anyways

Jade: o ya. Ya. Hes so a stoner. I do think he prefers shrooms & grows his own but he enjoys getting high from anything natural 🫶

Floyd: u look me in the eye & tell me this freak isn’t a stoner. He’s probably stoned more days than not esp during class idfk. He gets rlly quiet if he gets high enough tho. He just has many thoughts.

SCARABIA

Kalim: another one I’m split on idk. I rlly think it could go either way. Ummmmm ok he smokes occasionally & gets a lil paranoid whenever he’s high enough but knows how to just 🤫 sit quietly with his thoughts and talk himself thru it

Jamil: stoner. Same reasons as leona I think, he just needs smthn to decompress sometimes. will NOT smoke w kalim bc he feels the need to babysit him always. Probably smokes every night after kalims asleep just so he doesn’t have to worry abt anything 🙏

POMEFIORE

Vil: not a stoner but will occasionally smoke. weed has health benefits but the actual smoke will fuck up his vocal chords if he does it enough so he only does it sometimes 🤫

Rook: no. As much as I want to say yes I feel like he’s enough of a freak to enjoy being sober all the time ynk. He’s probably like *french accent* “augh non✨smouqing marajuanna will dull my senses✨I preghfer to stay aleghrt and awaghre at aull times” idk

Epel: oh this kid has been smoking since middle school for sure. He’s made an apple into a pipe once. Doesn’t smoke as much as like leona or jamil but he’s definitely up there. Vil isn’t super fond of the smell of weed so he has to sneak around outside to do anything (unless vil joins).

IGNIHYDE

Idia: this man has never touched weed in his life. He starts getting paranoid before his first hit. I don’t have much to say abt him I don’t know. Oh I do feel like he’s done acid tho?? Idk. He gets nervous abt weed but he just kinda popped a tab once & went on a journey & was fine abt it.

Ortho: um nuh uh. Can he um….would he even be able to….like..inhale…………..sry um anyways. He is not allowed to do drugs anyways

DIASOMNIA

Malleus: He’s gotten high before but he got so paranoid & then hungry & then he passed out for 12 hours so he’s not fond of it. I think if yuu asked him to join a sesh he’d agree tho. He’d be like “haha. Childof man. Of course I will smoke with you. And nothing bad will happen.”

Lilia: HELLLL YEAH HES A STONER. Oh he’s sooo a stoner he knows his shit too he has like five different strains & he’s like do u want this one or this one or this one. Is so so good at taking care of ppl too. Has been thru it all so🫶would be very good to smoke w if it’s ur first time. Also very big advocate for no peer pressuring. Always makes sure everyone’s comfy & not freaking out.

Silver: not a stoner definitely but he’s probably smoked like once or twice. Probably takes the best naps after. But took a bong rip once & did not have a good time. Too much too fast. The room was spinning & he had to lay down.

Sebek: so not a stoner but has smoked one(1) time when mal did. he got so quiet & in his head & ppl kept being like “😟are u okay” bc he wasn’t yelling. Lilia was good abt checking in on him. He was fine he just had so so many thoughts in his brain.

Ok that’s all ty 4 reading🤞🤞

Anyways remember if ur gonna be under the influence of anything 2 stay safe, stay smart, & if soemone tried to peer pressure u into anything then bite them rlly hard🫶

[hanasnx]

ok, take this with a grain of salt bcs i don’t know much about him 😖but naoya’s definitely into anal. he’s saying he’s gonna fuck the shit out of your pussy, maybe bruise your cervix to the point you can’t even move, but then he’s flipping you over yanking your ass in the air, spitting directly onto your puckered hole, rubbing his calloused thumb over the sensitive skin. he didn't bother with any real preparation, only sparing a moment to spit again before sliding the blunt head of his thick cock in. because who the fuck was he to make everything feel good for you? this is all for him, ur just a body with two holes to satisfy him. "mm, tight as hell," he grunted, pressing your face into the sheets as he sank in to the hilt. "might be better than that slutty pussy. don’t know for sure though, can’t knock you up this way— but we can try, yeah? Yeah, we can fucking try.” - 🧃

"ok, take this with a grain of salt bcs i don’t know much about him" dewai it babe idk jack about him tbh which is rare for me

"naoya’s definitely into anal" and then you come out with the realest sentence ever

"he’s flipping you over yanking your ass in the air, spitting directly onto your puckered hole, rubbing his calloused thumb over the sensitive skin" god. god god god please please godddd the callused thumb got me

"he didn't bother with any real preparation, only sparing a moment to spit again before sliding the blunt head of his thick cock in. because who the fuck was he to make everything feel good for you? this is all for him, ur just a body with two holes to satisfy him." shut the fuck up. my god. this is so real and so important to me

"mm, tight as hell," wish u could feel the way my body reacted to this sentence

""might be better than that slutty pussy. don’t know for sure though, can’t knock you up this way— but we can try, yeah? Yeah, we can fucking try.”" oh my Fucking god. "slutty pussy"??? "cant knock you up this way"???? "but we can try yea"????? juicy this is an attempt on my life. my brows are all the way up, my jaw all the way down. you have me shocked you have me floored. im bowing rn idk what else to do. im moaning over here

another banger from juicebox anon everyone clap

[helloaugustmoon]

Hot Street - Thoughts

————————————————————————

first of all, I hope Michael can fight, bc lord knows when I get to the pearly gates it is on SIGHT for not RELEASING THIS ?????????

listen. I respect him bein all about love and peace and the world becoming a better place- great stuff, good for him, but keeping HOT STREET in the vaults? WHY I OUGHTA- 🤺🤺

no but seriously.

this is the epitome of 80’s funk. this song IS time travel. wasn’t even dropped in the 80’s but you can feel it he fr had the nerve to ask can we feel it umm YES MF WDYM

honestly sick of this me n Mike have personal beef at this point.

he had the nerve- nay, the AUDACITY, to sing backing vocals of “badadeedaaaaah” and then he was all “heehee 🤭” keepin that shit under lock n key? actually unbelievable.

this would have been number one for weeks I don’t wanna hear anything to suggest otherwise. certified hood classic. a banger. a tune for the ages. the day I found this on my spotify, my frontal lobe formed.

that said, I have absolutely no idea what the lyrics are on about he was honestly just riding the beat talkin shit that sounds good and for that I can only commend him. anyone know if he actually says ‘hot street’ at any point in this song bc I swear it just sounds like he’s singing OUR street and if that’s the case, where did Hot Street come from?

someone needs to get ouija board out and get the answers from Mike himself bc he’s got to have done some cryptic bs w this one. it’s too good. crack in a song. also, if anyone gets him on the line could they please deal the followup question regarding whether he gives his blessing for us to blow up S*ny for buying his music? thank you xoxo

[adelaidedrubman]

NOW THAT’S WHAT I CALL MUSIC MONDAY 

tagged by absolutely no one and requested by fewer still, but in the spirit of kicking off the summer of hook, line, and sinker i am also taking the liberty of starting wip music monday whether anyone likes it or not. afflicting @v0idbuggy @poetikat @henbased @florbelles @unholymilf @socially-awkward-skeleton @direwombat @strangefable @derelictheretic @corvosattano @shallow-gravy @nuclearstorms @cassietrn @confidentandgood @afarcryfrommymain @vampireninjabunnies-blog @nightbloodbix @voidika @firstaidspray @megraen @roofgeese @trench-rot @strafethesesinners @blissfulalchemist @inafieldofdaisies @clicheantagonist, please feel free to drop a wip and a tune that vibes with it!

naturally i am sharing another hl&s playlist banger. pov you’re jestiny and this is what you desperately wish your ex-girlfriends’ internal monologue to be as they watch your current partner fail to bait a hook, but unfortunately probably only the last part applies:

i heard you had to drive him home after two umbrella drinks / i heard he’s got a prius ’cause he’s into being green / my buddy said he saw y’all eating that sushi stuff / baby that don’t sound like you, that don’t sound like love / sounds like it sucks he can’t even bait a hook / he can’t even skin a buck / he don’t know who jack daniels is / ain’t ever drove a truck / knows how to throw out a line / but not the kind in a field and stream book / no darling i ain’t even worried you’ll come running back / he can’t even bait a hook ... [outro] nah you’re the one that’s gonna be sorry when you’re headin’ to get tofu and he has a flat tire in his foreign car and don’t know how to change it and you’ll get your new gucci shoes wet and you’re mad and irritated, i’ve seen you irritated, i’m telling you, better him than me actually

epic blunder, this is how they actually see you and your new man. wip excerpt from hl&s c.3, tentatively titled “throw out a line” (warnings for jessie typical emotional regulation and references to stalking behavior, played for laughs but called for what it is in text):

“Ms. Woodhouse,” John held out a hand towards the brunette that was met with nothing but a scowl in return. 

He made an apologetic ‘ah’ noise and wiped the hand on his shirt, but Jessie knew it was not the fish guts Sherri was repulsed by.  “My apologies.” He bowed. “I haven’t yet had the privilege of patronizing your little store.” Jessie smiled. Patronizing was right. And Sherri deserved it. “It’s so difficult when I have my own boat ramp right in the backyard to remember to get out there to support the small business owners in the community.”  “Support?” Skylar cut in, scowling even harder than Sherri did. “When have you ever supported any business around here? You call trying to shut everyone down and take their property from ’em support?”  Huh. That’s weird  — Skylar seemed to have history with this guy. And it was bad enough he was a lawyer at all, did she fuck up and start pretending to date a fucking foreclosure attorney or something?  John waved the accusation off. “Please, I hate discussing business matters during my recreation time.” He reached into his back pocket to take out his wallet, pulling another hundred dollar bill from it. “I would love to support Can of Worms now.”  John turned to Sherri, gauchely waving the bill in front of her. “I’m afraid my lovely date and I have fished through all of our bait. But it seems you have plenty left. He nodded towards the unopened can at Sherri’s feet. “I’d like to purchase it.”  Sherri met him with a dead-eyed stare. “Store’s closed.”  John turned, looking across the water at the Can of Worms storefront. “Your hours say open until 9.”  “Well, I’m not on the clock.”  “Oh, don’t be unreasonable. I’m paying well above market rate for something I could just waste time going over and buying from you, for much cheaper, in the store.”  “No, you couldn’t,” Skylar said. “Store’s closed.”  He pointed behind him. “I see it open.”  “Store’s always closed to you.” Jestiny gave up on pretending not to notice the conversation, setting aside her beer to slam her hands down on the side of the boat. “Well, sell it to fuckin’ me, then!”  “God, Jessie,” Sherri groaned, leaning down to hold her head in her hands. “Can’t you just fucking leave us alone? Following us, harassing us while we’re trying to fish? We broke up with you. We don’t want you around.”  “Shit’s sad,” Skylar agreed. “Just stop. Don’t make us get a fuckin’ restraining order or something.”  Jestiny kicked the side of the boat, hard. “They’re called Orders of Protection, in fucking Montana!”  “You learn that from your slimebag lawyer boyfriend?” Skylar asked. Jessie frowned. That was hitting below the belt, she thought. “And did he learn it from law school, or ’cause half the fucking County wants to take one out on his creepy ass?” Sherri brought a hand over her mouth to stifle her laugh at Skylar’s joke. “They really are perfect for each other, huh?” she giggled against Skylar’s shoulder, setting her chin atop it and looking up at her adoringly.  Jessie felt flames crawl up in her belly. Of all the infuriating insults.  “Yeah, we fucking are! I finally have someone who can keep up with me behind the rod and on an intellectual fuckin’ level!” she forced herself to flash an adoring smile of her own at the man she shouted over. “And he’s got an actual sense of humor! Just look at his outfit.”  John turned to shoot Jessie a glare.  “Yeah,” Skylar laughed, turning to nudge the flyaway hairs clinging to Sherri’s dewy brown skin away with the sun speckled tip of her nose so that she could finally whisper her teasing directly into the brunette’s ear. “Looks like you and me were the only ones that didn’t think to come dressed for the circus.” 

“I fucking heard that!”