#ONLY FOR MENE
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UR ART & EVERYTHING ALWAYS SPARKS SO MUCH JOY ASDFJKL
early wedding gift hc: he found a newly hatched baby duck like 10 minutes before sailing lol. neither nest nor mother was anywhere to be found and he was like omg im a parent now. *polites mama mode activated*
poli and smol duckling that fits in his hand hallelujah amen.
whenever anyone asks him something he turns to her and asks what do you think? to which she quacks and poli solemnly states that her royal highness has spoken. and hes 110% serious
also she is urs to name :D
*taps the mic* Greatsword Lore *leaves*
Based on something Jorge dropped in a stream once
#no one takes him seriously after that (jk hes the medic hes terrifying >:) they all respecc him but tease him a lot for it lol)#their lifespan is about 8 years tho so ill let u figure out what happened. well at least astyanax has a lil buddy#polites my beloved#duckling#polites & duck#ody thinks its hilarious and eury is confusion (but he knows mene would probably do the same lol so dotes on duckling sometimes)#ONLY FOR MENE#and totally not because hes a huge softie#absolutely not#i love these guys#Bless your soul and your creative mastermind ily#<- NO U!!#aw ily too hehe <3
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Age regression memes anyone?
I had lots'a fun making these heh
Feel free to save & share them!! <3
I made more AgeRe memes:
UnusAnnus memes
Bear themed memes
.・。»・°✧❗I don't consent to NSFW interaction❗✧°・«。・.
.・。゚×゚.*・。゚×゚.☆❗SFW interaction only❗☆.゚×゚。・*.゚×゚。・.
#this is my birthday present for y'all#agere meme#age regression meme#regression meme#agere memes#age regression memes#regression menes#nates memes#sfw interaction only#sfw#sfw agere#agere#age regression#agere community#age regression community#age regressor#agere fandom
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LMM will be the most prolific in musical theater, yes, because he is a considerably wealthy brown man (who is pretty much white in ANY LatAm country), but do not make him the heir of Jonathan Larson when we have other musicals and stories happening that are more in tune with his legacy than LMM's wish to be his heir.
#hamilton has the diana problem that is only apparent in diana because diana is a mess#but six has the diana problem too so#in the other hand we have hadestown and great comet very in-tune with larson very modern and complex#but hadestown suffers of putting the responsibility of social change in one person's hands and it's no bueno#BMC is very Larson-sonically with the synths and all like next step Larson and brought the younglings to the musicals again#DEH.... is def white men white mening but what to do it's at least endearing#just please don't let LMM get that crown there are so many people working and putting their stuff out and please#I like Lin but#he ain't the only he ain't the better
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Semmoista tässä mietin, että miksi Barbie-elokuvan tekstityksessä “beaching” on käännetty “piiskaaminen”, vaikka sana “hiekoittaa” on myös olemassa??
#vai onko siinä joku viittaus joka menee minulta iloisesti ohi?#oli miten oli. ei hiekkaa kuten rannan santa vaan...#Finnish only
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In less than a year I know too much
Hiya tumblr take my uquiz
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((Anyone who sends me shit from my d//t meme (any of my memes actually but especially that one) will have my eternal favor.))
#;;ooc: mun muttering#and yes I'm working on a mene for the sequel; both the shorter one and EO#the only meme I've made that I love to the same degree is the a//81 and e//skew
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"Forever"
✰—-summery: seungmin has been realizing that he wants a forever with you. Honestly in whatever way you’ll have him. And maybe little domestic things like kisses on cheeks, lacing fingers a shared lived in home and a big ass ring on your finger, but now so overcome with love, he’s coming to realize he also wants to breed you. He knows no kids are on the radar for now… but a guy can have a fantasy right? And a guy can dream right?
✰--- approx: 30 min read
✰--- A/n i really have noting to say. I’m gonna continue my smutober series in the coming couple weeks yall trust 🙏🏼I have a few more smut fics that I’ll be getting to over the next couple weeks so think of it as an expansion of my lil smutober;)
✰— warnings/info: kissing, smut with sort of a plot ig, cursing, fluffy lovey dovey, tooth rotting fluff basically, breeding kink, raw fucking (do as I say not as I do wrap before u tap yall) ummm sex dream? As always bad spelling. Think that’s it
~this is simply a piece of fiction. My imagination onto “paper.” This is in no way is mean to be taken as an actual and real representation of anyone.~
if you don’t have an age indicator saying you’re not a minor in your blog then I will be blocking you! So minors dni!!
•••••••••••••••••••••
Seungmin can't count how many times hes fallen in love with you. from every time you laugh to the way you smoothed our your shirt that one time and have never done it since but for some reason hes been thinking about for two months.
hes a guy of repetition. he likes having a routine, he loves that youre a part of it. and for him, thinking about you is always a part of it. but so much so that he sometimes finds himself daydreaming and distracted, he should be embarrassed, having to ask people to repeat themselves because "oh wow y/n likes that shade of green that they're wearing" but he really doesn't care. but at the same time you make him work that much harder. make him want to do better to either make you proud or impress you like some eighth grader he doesn't know.
he loves his job, he really does, but all he wants to do sometimes is come home to you. it makes him not only work faster sometimes but harder. maybe because he wants to be good enough and worthy for you and your love or maybe just because you bring that side out of him more than it already is. whatever it is he knows you just make him better. and its cheesy and mushy but you really do complete him
his arm looks better when you hold it, his pictures feel empty when youre not beside him, and you feel the same way too-- the bed always is unreasonably cold when he isn't behind you holding you close to his heart. or when hes not inside you, lets be honest.
he laughs at the members when they tease him about you having "girlfriend privileges". and tells him he doesn't see it. but at first he really didnt. now he sees it so well he hears it. he prides himself in making you happy, being the best boyfriend he can. thats one of the things you love about him he takes everything on with a passion, devoted to his goals.
sure he still pokes fun at you and is a lovely little menes but lets be real he lovey dovy with you a lot of the times too! and you get away with so much more with a lovesick puppy look on his face than anyone else. he wouldn't go all aspiring poet and say youve changed him but youve just... brought out another side of him. and as much as he gives you hard time you both know he loves it.
and you secretly love it when he says ew when you kiss him then he tackles you peppering your face with them a mintute later
the slight obsession with you is borderline concerning he thinks at this point-- once someone flirted with him at a bakery and the only thing he could think about was how they were standing in front of that dessert he knew you liked and he politely just asked them to move cause "I think Im gonna buy that for my parter I want to take a closer look". needless to say the person got the message.
though he didn't even fully realize they were flirting with him until he told you the story of how "a week ago when I was at that bakery someone was talking to me but I wasn't paying attention cause they were standing in front of the cold case." he though they were, with the over the top smiles and that little giggle. but sadly he was easily distracted by the thought of how "yn would like this"
The downside to how much he thinks of you is that at some point during the day if he isn't careful hes gonna get half hard. he feels like some pre pubescent boy that can't control himself and he hates it. nevertheless, the girlfriend privileges continue-- with the playful banter between you two and how much you tease him. not many other people could get away with poking seungmin in the cheek and saying "poke" for a full minute without him saying something.
in fact, hes smiling.
and not that youre complaining one bit when sees you after a long day and pounces on you, trying to rip your clothes off. but make no mistake, as stated before hes soft for you. well, mentally at least, cause most of the time he can't seem to control his boner around you. but all this overwhelming feelings of love has to go somewhere... right?
and it just so happens to be expressed and poured out so wonderfully in bed. you think you noticed it before he did, but there has been a pattern with him as of late--
it all started with a team a out you. noting too out of the ordinary. you started on top of him, as he helped you bounced on his cock, so hard and leaking for you. somehow you needed up beneath him after you came, but seungmin wasn't done yet, still pumping into you, somehow deeper than before trying to reach spots he never breached. "damn I love you so much. mhm, gonna fill you up" he breaths out in his dream. your eyes rolled into the back of your head in pleasure, "you gonna put a baby in me? please?" you moan, cupping his cheek and holding his hand in such a sweet and domestic way that it should offset the way he was filling you up with his cum, slipping out of you then plugging your pretty hole with his fingers, thrusting anything that leaked out back in. gotta make sure it takes right? make sure you get nice a round a swollen in a few months
but it didnt, the look of pure love you gave him as he was babbling about breeding you? fuck that really got to him. dream you wanted this too? dream you loved and trusted him so much and wanted forever with him just as he did with you? So when he woke up, still hard and cum leaving a dark stain on his boxers. he didnt know what to do. usually he'd know the answer or honestly go to you to help him. but this was... different, uncharted territory. sure there was always the thought of something like this in the back of his mind but it was never this strong. let alone had he ever had a dream about it.
He turns to the clock, 3:43 sharp and after tossing and turning, flipping his pillow over three times and realizing it felt better on the first side he still can’t fall asleep. He lets his eyes graze over your sleeping still figure, you’re faced away from him body covered by the blanket. But the curves and dips of your are still visible. It’s dark but he feels like he can still see you so clearly. He could probably feel every bit of your too over that thin little blanket. If you could even call it that I mean it wasn’t really doing much to warm you he was sure. That’s when he pulled you close by your middle, pressing your back up to is chest, his fingers dipping under your shirt like it always does when you two cuddle (though when you’re awake it sometimes slides higher than others) god your skin was cold.
He subconsciously moved you closer moving his hips flush with your ass. Though in hindsight that might’ve not been the best idea. Seeing as he was now fully hard from his dream and your body settling into his wasn’t doing him any good. “Min?” Did you really have to call him that right now? But against his better judgement since it very much was 3 am in the morning right now, he stayed glued next to you. “Min?” For once he fumbles, “yeah?” “I know you’re awake.” He bends his neck down to peck the top of your head “doesn’t mean you have to—“ ���thank you, I was a little cold” you interrupt him while turning your body around to face him, hooking a leg over his”
well if you didn’t know before now you do. He thinks. “I was already half awake don’t worry,” he sighs “I figured” you smile at the fact that by now he knows all your little ins and outs all your little quirks. “You we’re kinda loud” you chuckle, and before he gets a chance to respond you’re reaching over him to turn on the light, it’s something so mundane so normal but somehow he’s still enamored by you. And with the way you’re basically on top of him, titties in his face he’s not getting soft anytime soon. “I think you’re hearing things.” He playfully scoffs “I think I should schedule you an ear appointment. My grandma knows a good one, maybe you can get matching hearing aids” you chuckle “and I think you still have a hard on”
that shut him up quick enough. you smile to yourself, you swear the man was all bark no bite sometimes when it came to you. seungmin glances over to the clock again. "sweetheart its so late its early..." he mumbles, sliding a not so sneaky little hand up your torso. his hands finds the side of your breast, then your collar bone, then settles back down on the neckline of your sleep shirt, playing with it.
"your dream sounded interesting," you peck his cheek and he flushes as if he didnt just dream about pumping you full of cum a second ago, "what was it about?" you ask, ignoring his comment about the time. you lace your fingers with his and he brings your hand with him under the blanket, settling it on his now painfully hard feeling cock straining against his boxers without a word, just that mischievous little devils grin.
you peck his lips this time, seungmin craining his head to chase you, lips still slightly smelling of that chapstick you always put on before bed. his tasting salty like the light sheen of sweat that coats his face from his dream. though you plan on making him much hotter in the next coming minutes. he pulls you back down to his lips by the back of your neck. a gentle but firm touch that mad you go crazy. the kisses are needy, lustful, but somehow also full of pure love and passion. he doesn't quite know how to express all the good that he feels for you, he isn't sure he ever will, but whenever he kisses you like this of late, he hopes his feelings will get through to you.
and you feel the emotion he pours into it when it happens, you really do. he pulls away a little later, never tired of kissing you and hand down in-between your legs rubbing your soaking pussy. "I just" he smiles through his gasps of air, "love you so much" it was sad really, that that was all he could say but he felt something for you that words cannot express in the English language, or Korean, or any language hes come across.
his eyes look like that one begging emoji. he just... he needs you to understand. he doesn't know why he just blurted it out. but you had just made this cute little face of pleasure. pleasure he was giving you. you felt good because of him. and it had just slipped out!
you didnt realize how much you wanted him, how desperate you were until in a matter of minutes youre gasping and whining for him. "fuck, breed me, make me yours" you say, barely over a whisper into his ear, chin on his shoulder. your sleep shirt bunched up around your hips that raped around his, his arms are laced behind your back, hugging you a keeping you close chest to chest as you bounce and rock yourself on his dick. so caught up in the moment, he misses the smirk on your face when you said it, blissfully unaware that you knew full well what he was dreaming about. and how hot you found it.
he whines, "no dont say that youre gonna make me cum... not--" he breaths out when your cunt tightens around him just so, "not now--" he already had you close to cumming earlier, when he was guiding your wt heat along his leg, grinding you on him. but he wanted to take care of you first ya know? be a gentleman. but he knew he wasn't going to last long if you kept talking like that. he reaches down to your core and swollen bud, rubbing it just how you like.
"well fill me up then min." you accentuate your words with a long, languid rock of yourself on him, his leaking cock hitting just where you want him to. god you feel so full, your eyes nearly roll into the back of your head thinking about how full you'd feel with all his warm seed inside you.
"no baby please dont say that either." his voice is strained, his words are lazy unlike how he usually sounds. thats hw you knew he was already close. "no please, I wanna feel so full." you pout, and his mind goes almost blank. he moves his free hand to your hip bone, guiding you as you impale yourself on his cock ever time you lift up and slam back down. though he wasn't really doing much guiding as he was mostly enjoying the soft squeeze of your skin, fingers on your plush thighs. he subconsciously nibbles at your collarbone, surely it'll leave a mark later you said you wanted him to make you his right?
"but you already have my cock in you baby. dont you feel it?" he wonders aloud, meeting your pumps up n' down with renewed vigor. "its so hard for you, god you make me so hard" you still your movements, letting him do most of the work thrusting up into your pussy, making wet squelching noises that fill the room.
"mmhm so big n' hard. cum inside me? I know you'd fill me up so good."
"oh god." that nearly sent him over the edge. you look down to where your bodies meet and his hand is rubbing you, fuck his hand looks delicious, fingers perfectly long and hand with veins popping out. "I need you to cum with me." and not long later you do. you cm hard, knees shaking and out of breath. you'd asked him to cum inside and thats what he does. you feel your insides flood with warmth. damn he must've cum a lot.
he stays inside for a moment and is about to pull out when you stop him, hand on his bicep, "keep it inside." you tell him, and this time he catches your smirk. And seungmin just laughs, kissing your neck in a manner so sweetly you almost forget about his dick inside you. “You heard my dream?” Though he already knew. “Mmhm” “I love you so much” his nose presses into your neck “I wanna spend forever with you” “aw me too min” “hm was it good for you then too?” “So you didn’t hear me moaning for you? Guess not” you tease and he scoffs. “I did. And I think the neighbors heard too. We’ll have to talk more in the morning and do some googling I guess. But thank you” “you’re thanking me now?” You laugh. “Yeah I—“ “I think it’s hot too don’t worry. That’s why I want you to stay inside. We want it to take huh baby” he shivers, running his palm up your spine.
seungmin was a reasonable guy, he knew that this was alll fantasy and having kids wasn't on your radar right now. but he still loved it. He didn’t know what it was, maybe it was just you two growing together, growing intertwined. But as of late, he’s just been wanting or maybe finally realizing just how much he loves and cares for you. how much he wants with you. seungmin hasn't really thought of it before, but maybe he wants and already cherishes those cute little things with you-- like the kisses on cheeks when one of you greet the other at the door, the waking up next to each other at dawn, and everything in-between.
and maybe one day, if you'll let him, he wants to put a big ass ring on your finger. well, some day.
and you loved it too. And him. The way he took his time with you no matter what it is no matter if he already did it a thousand times. Just like a second ago, he caressed every curve and did of your body. Constantly wanted his hands on you, kissing from your neck to your lips over and over.
“Why are you so silent? Don’t you want it too honey?” He smiles from ear to ear “ugh sweetheart you’re amazing” he mumbles before kissing your lips.
~end
thank you for reading! Hope you enjoyed please leave some love like comments or a reblog if you did!
#kim seungmin smut#kim seungmin fluff#kim seungmin x reader#seungmin x reader#seungmin smut#seungmin#seungmin fluff#skz seungmin smut#stray kids seungmin#ghosts writing
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[📝 ENG translation] 'Sonce' ('Sun') by Joker Out
Original Slovenian lyrics + English translation of the song 'Sonce' ('Sun'), which was posted on the 11th of May 2024 here on the Joker Out Instagram account.
Text versions of both lyrics under the cut!
SLOVENIAN: Sonce
Izgubil sem vse
Čemur ti si rekla sonce
Ko pade zadnja kaplja
Mene več ne bo
Pazi na korak,
Da prehitro ti ne mine
Ko zajameš zrak
Vdihni še spomine
Učila si me, da sem vse
A očitno vreden nič
Tudi brez mene se vrti naprej
Preliva kri v kič
Mogoče pa nisva dovolj glasno jokala
Mogoče pa ni dovolj jasno bilo,
Kako sva se bala
Mogoče pa najine so solze odveč
Za ceno udobja vsi kriki preveč
Mogoče le naju bolelo bo
Da ni naju več
ENGLISH: Sun
I've lost everything
That you called the Sun
When the last drop falls
I'll be gone
Watch your step
So it doesn't pass too quickly
When you inhale
Breathe in the memories, too
You taught me I was everything
But apparently worth nothing
It keeps turning without me,
Shedding blood into kitsch
Maybe the two of us didn't cry loud enough
Maybe it wasn't clear enough,
How afraid we were
Maybe our tears are redundant
For the price of comfort, all the screams are too much
Maybe it'll hurt only us
That we're gone
Please don't repost, and if you use the lyrics, please credit @ JokerOutSubs.
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The kids!!!
Homer: Are you aware that many Iliad characters are first time fathers? That all of them in one way or another misses a big chunk of their children’s life or never gets to see it at all?
Also Homer: leaves and never elaborates
A doodle for random parenting shiz basically. Order from left to right, top to bottom:
-Menelaus carrying a sleepy Hermione. @hermesmoly I was drawing this when the request came lolol
-Achilles and baby Neo. I don’t know if it’s a thing in other places but hanging on father’s leg and then let him moves it back and forth like an impromptu swing is quite a favorite pastime activity here.
-Odysseus and baby Telemachus who was trying to be a helicopter
-Hector and baby Astyanax when he was born.
-Probably Agamemnon and his three daughters, but I have no official designs. He tried to scold them and was failing. Tbh I feel like Agamemnon would be the type to cosplay buff Bubble from Powerpuff girls along with his daughters. I know he’s not that great but me delulu.
-Patroclus and Neoptolemus. Yes Patroclus contributed in raising him as well, the kid had 2 dads. Fight me.
#love the body language of all these sketches#mene and hermi just being my favorites#baby neo’s iconic hair XD#telemachus having pinchable cheeks!!!#aga scolding his girls but failing 😭#astyanax!!!#aww only oenone and corythus are missing but !!!! SO CUTE KIDS#the iliad#epic cycle#tagamemnon
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Mene mene tekel upharsin Part 5 - NATO Ukraine USA stand defeated
The money laundering of Democrats Obama Biden Kamala Harris is bleeding USA to DEATH... the empire is crumbling.... Ukraine is dead with no soldiers left to fight .... over 1.1 million UKRANIAN Soldiers are dead... NATO is rendered toothless demilitarized with over 600K NATO soldiers dead... so much so that FRANCE is desperately urging , EVERY EU Nation to send soldiers to Ukraine ; to which Poland and most Violent Russophobe Eastern European states refused...
The reason is simple.... they all know, they can't survive on the battleground ... it is a different thing, to shout from your chairs and chambers , but in reality even British Army , as per their own internal assessment, can't last for a week against Russian army....
In a master chess move Putin and Erdogan of Turkey reached a deal pitching NATO Vs NATO... Turkey forces are fighting USA backed militia in Syria... Sec Blinken had to rush to Turkey to urge them to not kill all NATO militia in Syria ..... Vultures have started gathering... Erdogan is talking of cancelling 100 year old WW1 treaty and re-enacting OTTAMAN Empire ... the ancient battle ground has opened up... all this thanks to inferior USA weapons and technology .... and the weakening of the USA .... thanks to stupid American voters who kept Democrats in powers for so long .... they have done nothing but looted USA and pardoned the corrupt .
America is trying to win an imaginary war by propaganda like it always has... USA is on its knees; few steps away from surrendering or breaking away... Can Trump Save it? Perhaps not... hence he is proclaiming to make CANADA and MEXICO American states... The dethroned bankrupt empire of lies and deceit can now only rule its own neighbors... Kiss Rule based order good bye....
While delusional Ukrainian NATO Europeans are dreaming of Russia breaking and surrendering .... not knowing their master is about to desert them... to save itself... from nuclear oblivion.... loser NATO Ukraine EU can't dictate terms and will not be allowed to.... ad infinitum WWIII...
Nothing unites the human playground quite like one intrepid soul willing to stand, fight, and humble the bully.
The tripartite alliance of Russia, China, and Iran is an adversary more than adequate to roll back imperial rule by leaps and bounds, and in a relatively short span of time.
Many of the “middle powers” can also see which way the wind is blowing, and are positioning themselves accordingly. Spheres of influence are being aggressively pursued and secured in every quarter of the earth.
And perhaps most meaningful of all, they are cooperating to progressively repudiate the empire’s debt notes as the coin of the realm. They have come to understand that a prerequisite to “fixing the world” is to return its money system to a much more equitable and sustainable basis.
An alternative currency is coming... USD will come to an end much sooner than FED would have stupid americans believe.... The corruption of Obama Biden Harris Democrats has rotted America to the core ... USA lost the big war...
The DEATH OF EMPIRE IS MARKED........ whether it goes down slowly, or takes away whole earth in a fit of rage, by launching nuclear war which it can't win.... remains to be seen .... having lost the traditional proxy war .... with armies no longer willing to fight as proxy for it....
USA Democracy farce and hypocrisy stands exposed with increasing governments calling it out... including the majority nations in the UN...
It appears Russia has cut the empire into pieces.... it has achieved what Gorbachev and soviets compromised to not achieve for peace... The days of americans will be numbered with poverty , hunger and reality shocks, as World economy, decouples from the USD over coming years.... No more money printing will save the EMPIRE or turn the tide..........
PART 6 TO COME.....
#us politics#usa news#mene mene tekel upharsin#trump 2024#president trump#trump vance 2024#truth#democrats#biden administration#kamala harris#artists on tumblr#comics#cartoon#memes#funny memes#tumblr memes#humor#meme#dank memes#usa politics#united states#usa#united states of america#ukraine#russia#soviet union#politics#ww3
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I think ur art tastes like strawberry cheesecake at a sunny afternoon like when the sky is purple and pink, luv u pooks
Omg that is the cutest (and tastiest) description ever, thank you so much, I'm IN LOVE with your art style and you're so so kind!!! 🥹🫶✨
It's very old, but take this drawing of one the first concepts I had for Ctimene and Penelope's designs!
Must have been from 4 months ago :'D
#I wrote a test today and now that is over my energy is drained but I just wanna draw#Their current designs are basically the same though#Only menes hair and robe changed and a lil bit of Penelopes face I think#And Penelope has pointed ears now!!#epic the musical#epic the musical fanart#ctimene#penelope#epic ctimene#epic penelope#desert asks#my art
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Bananas lyrics + English translation
Taas klubijonossa nii nii jääs Ettei lookista puutu ku porkkananenä Pokella on mandariinit kainalossa Ja mä näin ku se vilkuili persikan perää Mut en ole greippi, en ole lime Olen makea ja onnellinen Ku on parhaat päällä ja taskussa markkaa Varo vaaraa kuuntele tarkkaa
Kyl sä tiiät ettei meil oo mitään järkee pääs Eikä meil oo ikin tylsää Hävitystä ja kaaosta jälkeen jää ku me huudetaa Hey, ho Ja lasketaan yhdessä yy kaa koo Yy, kaa, koo Jengi menee bananas Jengi menee bananas Jengi menee bananas Jengi menee bananas
Aamulla kurkut silmillä Ja mun ottaan on kasvanu tatti Mä en oo täydellinen Mut tiiäks sää, kukkii ne perunatkin Ja mun känny on tiltissä hitto soikoon DM:t tukossa munakoisoo Mut ei nyt jaksa murjottaa Sillä kohta me mennään taas
Kyl sä tiiät ettei meil oo mitään järkee pääs Eikä meil oo ikin tylsää Hävitystä ja kaaosta jälkeen jää ku me huudetaa Hey, ho Ja lasketaa yhdessä yy kaa koo Yy, kaa, koo, Jengi menee bananas Jengi menee bananas Jengi menee bananas Jengi menee bananas
Bananas! Hey, ho! Paita auki ku Copacabanas Tanssilattial total bananas Hey, ho! Paita auki ku Copacabanas Tanssilattial total bananas
--
Again in the club queue so so frozen That my look is only missing a carrot nose The bouncer has tangerines in his armpit And I saw him glancing at the peach But I'm not a grapefruit, I'm not a lime I'm sweet and happy When I'm wearing my best outfit And have money in my pockets Watch out for danger, listen up closely
You know, that we don't have any sense in our heads And we are never bored Destruction and chaos is left after us as we shout Hey, ho And we count together one two three One, two, three The people go bananas The people go bananas The people go bananas The people go bananas
In the morning I have cucumbers on my eyes And a mushroom has grown on my forehead I'm not perfect But you know, even potatoes bloom And my cellphone is jammed, dammit DM's stuffed with eggplant But I don't feel like sulking now Because we'll go again soon
You know, that we don't have any sense in our heads And we are never bored Destruction and chaos is left after us as we shout Hey, ho And we count together one two three One, two, three The people go bananas The people go bananas The people go bananas The people go bananas
Bananas! Hey, ho! Shirt open like in Copacabana On the dancefloor, total bananas Hey, ho! Shirt open like in Copacabana On the dancefloor, total bananas
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Insurance companies are making climate risk worse
Tomorrow (November 29), I'm at NYC's Strand Books with my novel The Lost Cause, a solarpunk tale of hope and danger that Rebecca Solnit called "completely delightful."
Conservatives may deride the "reality-based community" as a drag on progress and commercial expansion, but even the most noxious pump-and-dump capitalism is supposed to remain tethered to reality by two unbreakable fetters: auditing and insurance:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reality-based_community
No matter how much you value profit over ethics or human thriving, you still need honest books – even if you never show those books to the taxman or the marks. Even an outright scammer needs to know what's coming in and what's going out so they don't get caught in a liquidity trap (that is, "broke"), or overleveraged ("broke," again) exposed to market changes (you guessed it: "broke").
Unfortunately for capitalism, auditing is on its deathbed. The market is sewn up by the wildly corrupt and conflicted Big Four accounting firms that are the very definition of too big to fail/too big to jail. They keep cooking books on behalf of management to the detriment of investors. These double-entry fabrications conceal rot in giant, structurally important firms until they implode spectacularly and suddenly, leaving workers, suppliers, customers and investors in a state of utter higgeldy-piggeldy:
https://pluralistic.net/2022/11/29/great-andersens-ghost/#mene-mene-bezzle
In helping corporations defraud institutional investors, auditors are facilitating mass scale millionaire-on-billionaire violence, and while that may seem like the kind of fight where you're happy to see either party lose, there are inevitably a lot of noncombatants in the blast radius. Since the Enron collapse, the entire accounting sector has turned to quicksand, which is a big deal, given that it's what industrial capitalism's foundations are anchored to. There's a reason my last novel was a thriller about forensic accounting and Big Tech:
https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250865847/red-team-blues
But accounting isn't the only bedrock that's been reduced to slurry here in capitalism's end-times. The insurance sector is meant to be an unshakably rational enterprise, imposing discipline on the rest of the economy. Sure, your company can do something stupid and reckless, but the insurance bill will be stonking, sufficient to consume the expected additional profits.
But the crash of 2008 made it clear that the largest insurance companies in the world were capable of the same wishful thinking, motivated reasoning, and short-termism that they were supposed to prevent in every other business. Without AIG – one of the largest insurers in the world – there would have been no Great Financial Crisis. The company knowingly underwrote hundreds of billions of dollars in junk bonds dressed up as AAA debt, and required a $180b bailout.
Still, many of us have nursed an ember of hope that the insurance sector would spur Big Finance and its pocket governments into taking the climate emergency seriously. When rising seas and wildfires and zoonotic plagues and famines and rolling refugee crises make cities, businesses, and homes uninsurable risks, then insurers will stop writing policies and the doom will become undeniable. Money talks, bullshit walks.
But while insurers have begun to withdraw from the most climate-endangered places (or crank up premiums), the net effect is to decrease climate resilience and increase risk, creating a "climate risk doom loop" that Advait Arun lays out brilliantly for Phenomenal World:
https://www.phenomenalworld.org/analysis/the-doom-loop/
Part of the problem is political: as people move into high-risk areas (flood-prone coastal cities, fire-threatened urban-wildlife interfaces), politicians are pulling out all the stops to keep insurers from disinvesting in these high-risk zones. They're loosening insurance regs, subsidizing policies, and imposing "disaster risk fees" on everyone in the region.
But the insurance companies themselves are simply not responding aggressively enough to the rising risk. Climate risk is correlated, after all: when everyone in a region is at flood risk, then everyone will be making a claim on the insurance company when the waters come. The insurance trick of spreading risk only works if the risks to everyone in that spread aren't correlated.
Perversely, insurance companies are heavily invested in fossil fuel companies, these being reliable money-spinners where an insurer can park and grow your premiums, on the assumption that most of the people in the risk pool won't file claims at the same time. But those same fossil-fuel assets produce the very correlated risk that could bring down the whole system.
The system is in trouble. US claims from "natural disasters" are topping $100b/year – up from $4.6b in 2000. Home insurance premiums are up (21%!), but it's not enough, especially in drowning Florida and Texas (which is also both roasting and freezing):
https://grist.org/economics/as-climate-risks-mount-the-insurance-safety-net-is-collapsing/
Insurers who put premiums up to cover this new risk run into a paradox: the higher premiums get, the more risk-tolerant customers get. When flood insurance is cheap, lots of homeowners will stump up for it and create a big, uncorrelated risk-pool. When premiums skyrocket, the only people who buy flood policies are homeowners who are dead certain their house is gonna get flooded out and soon. Now you have a risk pool consisting solely of highly correlated, high risk homes. The technical term for this in the insurance trade is: "bad."
But it gets worse: people who decide not to buy policies as prices go up may be doing their own "motivated reasoning" and "mispricing their risk." That is, they may decide, "If I can't afford to move, and I can't afford to sell my house because it's in a flood-zone, and I can't afford insurance, I guess that means I'm going to live here and be uninsured and hope for the best."
This is also bad. The amount of uninsured losses from US climate disaster "dwarfs" insured losses:
https://www.reuters.com/business/environment/hurricanes-floods-bring-120-billion-insurance-losses-2022-2023-01-09/
Here's the doom-loop in a nutshell:
As carbon emissions continue to accumulate, more people are put at risk of climate disaster, while the damages from those disasters intensifies. Vulnerability will drive disinvestment, which in turn exacerbates vulnerability.
Also: the browner and poorer you are, the worse you have it: you are impacted "first and worst":
https://www.climaterealityproject.org/frontline-fenceline-communities
As Arun writes, "Tinkering with insurance markets will not solve their real issues—we must patch the gaping holes in the financial system itself." We have to end the loop that sees the poorest places least insured, and the loss of insurance leading to abandonment by people with money and agency, which zeroes out the budget for climate remediation and resiliency where it is most needed.
The insurance sector is part of the finance industry, and it is disinvesting in climate-endagered places and instead doubling down on its bets on fossil fuels. We can't rely on the insurance sector to discipline other industries by generating "price signals" about the true underlying climate risk. And insurance doesn't just invest in fossil fuels – they're also a major buyer of municipal and state bonds, which means they're part of the "bond vigilante" investors whose decisions constrain the ability of cities to raise and spend money for climate remediation.
When American cities, territories and regions can't float bonds, they historically get taken over and handed to an unelected "control board" who represents distant creditors, not citizens. This is especially true when the people who live in those places are Black or brown – think Puerto Rico or Detroit or Flint. These control board administrators make creditors whole by tearing the people apart.
This is the real doom loop: insurers pull out of poor places threatened by climate disasters. They invest in the fossil fuels that worsen those disasters. They join with bond vigilantes to force disinvestment from infrastructure maintenance and resiliency in those places. Then, the next climate disaster creates more uninsured losses. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Finance and insurance are betting heavily on climate risk modeling – not to avert this crisis, but to ensure that their finances remain intact though it. What's more, it won't work. As climate effects get bigger, they get less predictable – and harder to avoid. The point of insurance is spreading risk, not reducing it. We shouldn't and can't rely on insurance creating price-signals to reduce our climate risk.
But the climate doom-loop can be put in reverse – not by market spending, but by public spending. As Arun writes, we need to create "a global investment architecture that is safe for spending":
https://tanjasail.wordpress.com/2023/10/06/a-world-safe-for-spending/
Public investment in emissions reduction and resiliency can offset climate risk, by reducing future global warming and by making places better prepared to endure the weather and other events that are locked in by past emissions. A just transition will "loosen liquidity constraints on investment in communities made vulnerable by the financial system."
Austerity is a bad investment strategy. Failure to maintain and improve infrastructure doesn't just shift costs into the future, it increases those costs far in excess of any rational discount based on the time value of money. Public institutions should discipline markets, not the other way around. Don't give Wall Street a veto over our climate spending. A National Investment Authority could subordinate markets to human thriving:
https://democracyjournal.org/arguments/industrial-policy-requires-public-not-just-private-equity/
Insurance need not be pitted against human survival. Saving the cities and regions whose bonds are held by insurance companies is good for those companies: "Breaking the climate risk doom loop is the best disaster insurance policy money can buy."
I found Arun's work to be especially bracing because of the book I'm touring now, The Lost Cause, a solarpunk novel set in a world in which vast public investment is being made to address the climate emergency that is everywhere and all at once:
https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250865939/the-lost-cause
There is something profoundly hopeful about the belief that we can do something about these foreseeable disasters – rather than remaining frozen in place until the disaster is upon us and it's too late. As Rebecca Solnit says, inhabiting this place in your imagination is "Completely delightful. Neither utopian nor dystopian, it portrays life in SoCal in a future woven from our successes (Green New Deal!), failures (climate chaos anyway), and unresolved conflicts (old MAGA dudes). I loved it."
If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/28/re-re-reinsurance/#useless-price-signals
#pluralistic#doom loop#insurance#insuretech#climate#climate risk#climate emergency#the lost cause#market forces#risk management#price signals#control boards#decarbonization#bond vigilantes#climate resilience
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my monstrous boy (Coriolanus Snow x reader)
Summary: Coriolanus Snow is a monstrous boy. He's cold, merciless, brutal. And you love him. God, you love him so much. But what happens when you love a monster?
Disclaimers: angst. so much. but don't worry, the next one will be smutty.
A/N: Hello, requests are open skkskskka.
A monster is what it is. People won't beat an eye at their doings, they won't elaborate on why they are what they are. Some seeds come just bad, they say, and you're in luck when it doesn't fuck up the three.
But what does it make the person who loves the monster? What does it mean to be so intertwined to something evil? So in love with someone who wears cruelty like a fancy perfume?
Well, you've discovered it.
Loving a monster means all the love get bloodstains on it. As it comes to Coriolanus Snow, loving him means washing the stains of blood with the water in the river by the Hanging Tree.
The eldest Snow came to you in the dead of the night, blue eyes fading into anything but the mening of the color. You could print out so many emotions there, mostly shock and fear.
But there was no regret.
Looking back, that should've pushed you asay from Coriolanus. But when he trembled like he's nothing but human, you fooled yourself into beliving that he was a victmin of the circumstances.
Perhaps, he was. In the begining. You remember his childhood stories like tales of war. A kid can't leave that violence withour swallowing part of it. Snow was made to be tough, but he was never violent, he would never—
“Ouch.” he grumbles, a sight of disposture that he's not used to display in fromt of anyone but his family, and you.
It's an open wound. It's a bleeding reminder that somebody tried to fight back and lost his life to him.
“I'm sorry.” the words rott in your tongue, you spit them out anyway. “But that's the least of your problems.”
Silence. You can feel him studying you, analyzing you as if you're a lesson he can crack if he just tries hard enough. You don't lift your head, the eyes that once gave you comfort now make you nauseous.
You don't want to watch him lose his humanity like one of the tributes. You don't want to see Coriolanus become someone else.
But does one become something? Or has he always been as this?
“Are you scared of me?” direct, crude, as usual. He may not have the purity of Snow, but he's clear as one. There are no hidden meanings, no interpreter behind the door. He grabs your chin to make you look up at him, “Are you scared of me?”
The answer comes as a rather accusatory ask, “How many people have you killed?”
Quietude.
You can only hear his rapid breathing. You take a glance at him, only for the lavish boy to spare his head away. As if in shame, as if hiding.
When he's scared, he looks awfully lot like the man you swore to die with. Lately, living with him has been a harder oath to keep.
“It doesn't matter. I did this for you and us. We are free.” His tone takes up all the space of an answer. You know Snow doesn't want to talk about what happened, yet you can't stop your words.
“How much death is in your hands, Coriolanus?”
There, sitting in the mud while he bleeds, the man looks at you, and all you can see his a monster. The pieces coming together to make a image of destruction in your head, one inflected by the hands that always caressed you so gently.
He doesn't answer. Coriolanus just remains there, gazing inside your eyes. You don't leave him. You fool yourself thinking, maybe the monster is just trying to protect the boy. You know what he has seen, you still think it's not justified and—
And when he reaches out to place his hand on yours, his palm hand on contrast with his gelid nature, you are smitten, docile, even.
Love, you know, is the easiest way to perish.
Always good to the signals, Coriolanus leans in and presses a tender kiss to your lips.
It's also the best way.
A couple decades have ended. Your love has turned into blood on the snow: red, vicious, rotten. Yin and yang were never attracted, they crashed into each other, they destroyed parts of each other to make home for themselves.
Coriolanus Snow is the president. He gets redder eveqrytime. You still wash his weary hands, hoping someday you'll drown in the blood and be forgiven for being in love with cruelty.
You don't know what loving a monster makes you anymore.
But when the mockingjay cries in the cage, that's a lot like what you feel those days.
Author's: hello!! I'm just started writing this, so please give me some comments and reblogs.
TAGLIST OPEN for Coriolanus Snow x reader. Send a dm or comment to add.
#coriolanus snow#tom blyth#coriolanus snow x reader#coriolanus snow x you#Coriolanus Snow x y/n#dark!coriolanus snow#tom blyth x reader#the hunger games#the hunger games: the ballad of songbirds & snakes#the hunger games imagines
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No Duolingo, no problem
Jere Pöyhönen / Käärijä x Fem! Reader
Summary: You moved to Finland a few weeks ago and can't seem to feel at home: you're starting at a new job, you don't understand the language, you're kind of going through a break up... One tired and cold evening you head into the first bar you can find and briefly meet a cute guy you can't stop thinking about for the next few weeks. You try to forget about him, but when you go back to the same bar for some random gig your coworkers have invited you to go to, you find him again. [This takes place way before Eurovision]
Word count: 5.9k
Warnings: English isn't my first language and I got a little lazy mid writing. Also they smoke a vape oops (seriously now don't do it it's shit for your health). Maybe smut implications at the end?
A/N: I didn't know what to name this lmao. I cannot believe I wrote fanficiton for the first time in YEARS because I fell in love with a Finnish guy after watching Eurovision. Anyway, I noticed an enormous shortage of Jere fics and decided to risk my final exams to serve the people. I hope it's worth it! Also apologies if the Finnish translation is shit I used a random website for it lol
Glossary:
"Anteeksi, pudotit takkisi" -> "Sorry, you dropped your coat"
"Jere, istuimme takapöydässä" -> "Jere, we are sitting at the back table"
"Olen tulossa" -> "I'm on my way"
"Hetkinen, kiitos!" -> "One moment, please!"
"Jere, sinun vuorosi on kymmenen minuutin kuluttua" -> "Jere, you're on in ten minutes"
"Minä menen nyt" -> "Coming"
"Hei kaikille, miten meillä menee tänään?" -> "Hi everyone, how are we doing today?"
"Kiitos, Mikko, arvostan sitä todella" -> "Thank you, Mikko, I really appreciate it"
"Miten uskallat tulla tänne?" -> "How dare she come here?"
"Meidän on hyödynnettävä sitä" -> "We'll have to make use of it"
"Mikä on sana?" -> "What's the word?"
...
It was cold. Hell, it was colder than she could have ever imagined before coming here. Sure, she had checked the country's temperatures before moving, researched online about what to expect for someone who was used to easy winters, had bought the fuzzy-fur-on-the-inside-boots and the heavy jacket and all that was recommended to face the never-ending snowing. But still, it somehow hadn't been enough.
A job offer and the need to find some new purpose to latch onto had led (Y/N) here. Now three weeks in, with no friends and hardly a place to call her home had helped regret start to settle in. So many things felt out of her control: the way her colleagues seemed to think she was a mess, the cashiers at the supermarket sighing because she still didn't understand the language, everyone from her hometown rolling their eyes when she announced she was leaving in a way that meant you're not gonna make it.
Yet being thrown outside her comfort zone, and being forced to move on however she could manage, made her feel at least some kind of thrive. Which was far more than she had back home.
As she walked down the street for some place to find shelter in, hands shaking and breaths almost uneven, a neon sign caught her attention. Even though she couldn't figure out the name, it looked like a pretty okay bar. She didn't need much convincing anyway; anything would do to get out of this freezing gale. She made her way in.
The warmth was a instant relief. Stripping down from the many layers of upper clothes, she took a quick glance to check the place out. Not many people, which was fair for a Wednesday evening. There was low music playing, mild chatter and a bunch of people sitting alone in the stools, which was a relief. At least she wouldn't be the only one.
As she ordered a beer (one of the few phrases she had made sure to master) she felt her hands come alive again. The beverage came along and she took a long, much anticipated sip. It tasted significantly different from the brands she was used to, but it was just fine. Alcohol is alcohol.
Finally feeling at ease, she took her phone out and started mindlessly scrolling through social media to kill some time. It was still early in the evening since she had just gotten out from work. An extra challenging day is what had led her to wander outside for a bit instead of heading back to the dull apartment she hadn't even been able to decorate yet. Going home right after would've led her to start overthinking if this job was even right for her, if she had gone crazy by moving hundreds of kilometres away from what she's always known, if her ex-girlfriend had been right when she accused her of being too impulsive, if it would be such a bad thing to give it up already and leave—
"Anteeksi, pudotit takkisi", she heard a voice say behind her.
When she turned around to give her "sorry I still don't speak Finnish" speech, she was met with a blue-eyed, dark-haired, funky but sweet looking guy holding her jacket, which she now understood had fallen to the floor. It caught her by surprise that she somehow forgot how to speak for a brief moment.
"Oh! Thank you, I hadn't noticed it was on the floor" she ended up answering, taking the jacket back as the man handed it to her with a confused look in his eyes. "Sorry, I'm not from here. I don't speak Finnish yet" she added with a small chuckle.
"No, don't worry, Finnish, uh- hard language to learn" he answered through an amusing smile, with a thick accent and a clear struggle to speak English.
She half laughed at his answer. Until now, people hadn't been so kind about the language-barrier impediment. "Yes, it is a little bit", she followed, now taking in his appearance.
Painted nails. Double nose piercings. Earrings. Facial hair. A bowl cut? Interesting choice, but it suited him surprisingly well. Her brain decided through that brief examination: he was cute. Attractively cute.
"You can try Duolingo. I use for my English, but don't work very very well" the man said the second part more as a correction to himself, making both of them laugh from the random half advice. He tried to fix it: "Maybe for you works better".
"Maybe. I'll check it out. Thank you again" her response was going to be followed by an invitation for him to sit down with her, as she felt a sudden wave of boldness: I need to make some friends in this town or else I'll go crazy. But a group of three other guys that had come in after him caught her stranger's attention.
"Jere, istuimme takapöydässä", one of them said to him, while walking to a table at the back corner of the bar.
"Olen tulossa" he turned around to answer, then looked at her once more, "I go now with my friends. Enjoy your beer" he smiled and small-waved goodbye, as she copied his gesture. "Enjoy your evening".
That small interaction was enough for her to spend the next half hour looking up from her phone, which she had retreated to, to glance at him from time to time. His group of friends and him seemed to be having a good time, and she enjoyed the view of him. He looked like a very interesting person, too, and if she was being honest, she hadn't been struck by someone new in quite some time. Not by her neighbors, not by the people she was starting to coincide with at the grocery shop, not even by her co-workers.
She noticed him looking at her from time to time as well.
When her glass was empty and just as the clock on her phone struck seven, she got up and got prepared to face the freezing wind once again. At least it wasn't that long of a walk to her place.
She lingered for a moment before exiting the bar, then finally did so while warning herself not to get too caught up on the nice stranger she suddenly felt she was leaving behind. It was just a one minute interaction. You probably won't see him again. Quit this teenager act. Focus on the important tasks ahead of you.
It was already pitch black outside, snow accumulated on the sidewalks, the air was even colder than before.
Excitement started to bubble up in the pit of her stomach.
...
Two weeks had gone by and although she had been meaning to return to the bar, she just hadn't find the time to do so. Once the job's training period ended, the hectic rythm started. In her free time, when she wasn't taking care of the house or just resting, she was trying to find some language academy where she could actually properly learn Finnish. Cute guy had been right: Duolingo just didn't do the trick.
She had hoped he would appear around the neighborhood, that maybe he lived nearby. But there had been no luck. It was fine, though. She knew she would let go of it rather quickly at that point, it's not like she had been thinking about his addictive smile or pretty eyes or soft-looking hands. Not at all.
It was Friday, and some acquaintances from work she had managed to pull off had invited her to a small gig. She didn't even remember the musician's name nor did she know where it was going to be, but nevertheless she was happy to go and actually get to have some fun with other people. Who knows, cute guy might even be there.
She didn't even realize they were headed to the bar until they were right in front of it. Inside, a small stage platform had been set up and tables and chairs had been removed to make space for the audience. It wasn't very spacey anyway, the place could hold about a hundred people squeezed together tops.
"Huh, hadn't even thought of this place as a venue" she let her thoughts trail out loud.
"Have you been here before?" her coworker Aubrey, who she had slightly bonded with because she was also a foreigner, asked her. "Only once" the girl explained, already searching for a certain someone's face in the crowd. "So, who have you brought me to see tonight?" she asked, in the hopes of at least getting some conversation non-work related flowing. "I don't really know, coming here was Mikko's idea. He's always trying to get us into these weird small rap-rock Finnish bands, and listen, I've lived here for over a year now and I still don't really get the hype" Aubrey explained making both of them laugh "But it always ends up being fun when we go out" she added.
The rest of the group had moved forward to get a good spot near the humble stage, as Mikko babbled on and on about nonsense the two women couldn't figure out from the distance. "Hey, I'm going to the bathroom real quick. Mind saving me a place?" (Y/N) asked her colleague, who answered affirmatively.
She made her way through the crowd in between "excuse me's" and "sorry's" but got there with quite ease. One of the two toilet doors had a sign that read "Out of order", so she knocked on the one that was left to check if anyone was inside. A voice that sounded vaguely familiar came from the other side: "Hetkinen, kiitos!"
Nervousness suddenly struck her. Is this who I think it is?
When the door opened there was no doubt. Cute stranger was standing in front of her.
"Oh! Hello" he blurted out just as he saw her, sounding surprised. Today he was wearing eye makeup and bottom eyeliner, which suited him very, very well. He has such a pretty face.
She realized now she had not been able to get over this guy in the two weeks of not seeing him, even though she didn't even know his name.
"Hi" was all she could manage to say. She had been looking for him when she entered the bar but she was convinced he was not actually going to be there, "It's good to see you!" she added, as a way of avoiding an awkward silence.
"You as well. You, uh, you come to... concert?" he inquired, struggling to find the last word while pointing towards the direction where the stage was to make sure he was being understood.
She noticed he was wearing an all yellow outfit that consisted of corduroy pants and a button up. He looks good in it.
"Yes, some work friends brought me here. But if I'm being honest I don't even know who's playing" she confessed, slightly covering her mouth with one of her hands to joke around, as if she had spilled a dark secret. Stranger burst out laughing. His laugh was cute. "Do you know if he's good? I wanna know if I'll be wasting my time or not" she asked him, pretending to be a diva to keep his laugh going.
He had his arms crossed and his tongue between his teeth as he slightly giggled. "No, I think he's pretty ok. I think you will like, even if no understand" his answer was playful and accompanied with another small laugh. She continued joking around, this time putting her hands up in pretend self defense "Hey, I'll try my best. Maybe using Duolingo for two days actually did something" she shot back, realizing after saying those words that she had just told Mr. Stranger she had followed his advice.
He narrowed his eyes and tilted his head playfully "You did what I say to you" he stated. "Yes, but you were right. It's not really helpful. Now I just keep getting emails from the goddamn owl and feel scared that he's going to find me and kill me for not going back to the app" she explained exaggeratedly, which made their giggles grow bigger and even he bent his knees with laughter.
Their little chit-chatting was cut when a man who looked like he had been searching for someone stopped in his tracks at the beginning of the bathroom hall and shouted at them: "Jere, sinun vuorosi on kymmenen minuutin kuluttua". She turned around to look at the source of the voice and then back at stranger when he answered "Minä menen nyt". She wished she knew what they were saying, but she assumed it had just been his friend telling him to hurry up. Also, was Jere his name? She had heard it two times already.
"Someone's always calling out for you", she commented when they were left alone again. "It's because me popular, yes yes" he joked, putting a hand to his chest and shrugging. "Listen, I go now. Concert starting soon" he explained, pointing out to the stage's direction once again "I see you there?" he asked, eyebrows raised as he put a hand to her shoulder, looking into her eyes. His blue ones had her mind going blank for a moment. That seemed to happen a lot when he was around. "Uh- yeah, sure, see you there". He smiled again then moved past her to return to the hall. She stared at him leave as she opened the door to the bathroom and finally went inside, smiling to herself and biting her bottom lip.
She hurried back once she was finished not only in fear of missing out the start of the concert, but more so in fear of not finding him again. Aubrey raised her hand to catch her attention and she followed the lead back to the group. The place was packed, it was hot, and there was a lot of chatter going on.
"What took you so long?", Aubrey asked as she got to her side, just in front of the stage, "They're about to start". (Y/N) was standing on her tiptoes and turning her head in all directions. She had just talked to him and the bar was not that big: where the hell had he hid himself?
"There was a long line to the bathroom..." she started off distantly, then turned to face Aubrey "Hey, this is going to sound weird, but have you seen-" just when she was going to make the question, she noticed some people walking up to the stage and everyone started cheering.
As she looked up, she couldn't have been more dumbfounded.
It was him. Mr Stranger was the one performing tonight.
"Hei kaikille, miten meillä menee tänään?" he shouted out to the public, (Y/N) assumed as a way of greeting everyone. He took no time noticing she was right there, which made him grin even wider. "I see we have international people tonight. Good" he said while looking directly at her. She felt her coworkers eyes on her.
"Do you know him?" Aubrey whispered-shouted to her, "I- uh, no, yes? Briefly" she responded back as he continued on in Finnish. She remembered the question she had made him earlier and mentally facepalmed. This cheeky dude. Lying to her face just so he could later get her reaction.
Since there was no way of understanding what he said, she concentrated on what she could see. Two men behind him wearing pink shirts and shorts and sunglasses. A DJ table, no instruments. There was a sign hanging from the wall that read "Käärijä". Was that his artistic name? She was very intrigued by everything going on and wondered what genre he was going to play.
She had no idea what was coming.
As soon as he stopped talking and the music started playing, his demeanor changed. His stare became fiercer, his movements provocative and unleashed. He walked around the stage like he owned it, stared at the audience like he knew they would do whatever he asked them. Every beat before he started singing rumbled inside her, made her hold her breath in anticipation. She let it out once the words started to fall from his mouth.
The lyrics could have been shit for all she knew. His deep voice, the exotic pronunciation, the hard rapping from the boy who had seemed so sweet and wholesome but was now showing another side of him, the song's rhythm and tone. She was all in. So in, that her body started swaying to the sound almost like an automatic response, and jumped around alongside everyone else when the music demanded to do so.
"Ok, he's really good" she said to her coworkers as the crowd sung alongside him. "Mikko, you were right, he's really good" she insisted to the boy beside her, who was clearly enjoying himself. "I told you!" he answered amidst chanting, "Jere is my most talented friend". Oh, okay. Mental note taken.
As he performed his songs, (Y/N) couldn't help but admire the dedication Jere put on and the absolute fun he looked like he was having. Also, she realised he was at least kind of known around here, because people were singng alongside him.
The head banging, self touching, slightly undressing and sticking his tongue out only added more to his eclectic movements and gestures that made the show feel like a mix of energetic, passionate and, why deny it, lascivious state. Her eyes were glued to him in a capitative stare, that he would catch from time to time and hold for a few seconds. Then he would turn to his attention somewhere else, but a smirk would make a clear appearance on his face.
Whenever he finished a number, the loud clapping allowed him some time to take a sip of water. The clothes he was wearing and its material soon became unbearable, which lead him to take his shirt off completely. "Sorry, it is hot in here" he stated into the microphone pretending to excuse himself as a joke, as everyone in the room made a fuss about it. He was heavily sweating all over his face, neck and torso.
If she had previously been absorbed by him, at this point it was almost unbearable. She had not expected to see so much exposed flesh, and the pectoral tattoo nearly had her weak on her knees.
For some reason, freehing himself from his clothes somehow made him behave even wilder from then on out. He started getting closer to the front row, some even holding out their arms to interact with him, him receiving the gesture with no issue. The Fin looked so confident in what he was doing, it only made her feel even more attracted to him.
He moved so quickly (Y/N) didn't even have time to process when he positioned himself right in front of her, amidst performing a song, and full on stroked her cheek for a few lasting moments, all the while mainting direct eye contact. It was as if no one else had been around them, as if this instant had been theirs only. She didn't respond to the touch by touching him herself, since she couldn't find the strength to be as bold; but the breath hitching and swallowing saliva right after were a clear sign to Jere that he made her feel things. He would quite probably feel embarrassed about it later, but right now it made him feel close to powerful.
The whole gig ended on a high note, the applause was strong and lasting. (Y/N) clapped her hands so fast they even started hurting a little, and could understand through the noise that Jere was thanking everyone for coming out to see him. As he was about to exit the stage, some music started playing over the speakers as to signal that the performance was over and everyone could retreat to either leave the bar or get a drink and stay there for a longer while. As the people from the front row turned around and waited to have a chance to move, (Y/N) felt a hand on her shoulder.
Jere looked exhausted, but it also seemed like the whole night had riled him up. "You don't leave now?", he meant to ask, but came out more as a plead. She wouldn't even dream of doing so right now. "No, no, I'm staying" she rushed to answer. "Good. Wait for me?" he went on. She could only manage to nod her head yes. He smiled and quickly went "backstage" to freshen up.
"Okay, what the actual hell was that?" Aubrey took no time to pry her, "It did not look like knowing each other briefly". (Y/N) shrugged while putting her hands in the air and half laughing, not knowing how to beat those allegations.
"It's classic Jere. Finds a girl cute and cannot stop himself" Mikko chimed in, while grinning, "Now I understand, you must be the girl he saw a couple of weeks ago over here, right?"
"He's talked about me?" she said, a bit shocked, while Mikko lead the way for the three of them to go grab a drink. "Yes, well, now that I connect the dots, that evening you came here, it was a Wednesday, right? I came too, but it must've been after you left. When I arrived he was commenting it".
Some of the other coworkers were starting to leave, not without commenting the elephant in the room before grabbing the door. "You're gonna be the talk of the office now", Aubrey asserted, making Mikko laugh and (Y/N) grow redder by the minute. "I don't even- we haven't even talked that much, really. But watching him onstage was..." she trailed off, letting out a sigh and grabbing the drink Mikko offered her, thanking him in the process. "Yes, it's his special trait. That magnetism he holds is what's gonna get him places", he agreed.
"Okay, but does this whole act mean that he always does this? Like, does he take advantage of his concerts to mindlessly flirt with random people?" (Y/N) suddenly tried to rationalize the fast track of actions Jere was taking on with her. Sure, she liked him, and she really, really wanted to have some fun. Needed it, even. This bonding moment with Aubrey and Mikko right now, this non-work related, exciting chatter; the going out; as precipitating as it sounds she was starting to feel like she was finally making friends, establishing a life. But she also didn't want to be played around with.
"Ohhh, no, not necessarily" her coworker laughed, calming her down "Käärijä the performer is seductive, provocative, even uncontrollable" he took a sip from his drink, "But Jere the person is another story. Dude wouldn't even hurt a fly, I mean it" he reassured her. He then was about to say something else, but stopped on his tracks when they all noticed the man of the hour and the tow men who had performed with him coming over to them. However, he quickly commented to the girls the following before Jere could hear them: "If anything, he's the one who has been played around with".
Jere approached Mikko first, going in for a hug, which made total sense given the fact that they were friends. (Y/N) appreciated it, because his last comment had caught her by surprise. He had changed into some track pants and graphic loose t-shirt, and over all he already looked far more calmed down and back to his more, to put it some way, innocent self. Aubrey and (Y/N) exchanged a look before introducing themselves to the guys in pink, who had not changed their outfits. Their names were Jaakko and Aleksi.
"Hey, I recognize you. You were all in the bar that day I was here" she said as a realization. "Yes, we were planning tonight" Aleksi answered, "Did you like it?" he added, to both her and Aubrey.
While the four of them engaged in small talk, the girls understood that Mikko was congratulating his friend on his performance and Jere was thanking him, "Kiitos, Mikko, arvostan sitä todella", he said with appreciation on his face, closed smile and big puppy eyes (Y/N) couldn't ignore. With one last ruffle on his hair from Mikko, the two men stayed with one arm over the other's back and turned to the group.
"Alright, let's talk in English now so we can all understand each other..." Mikko started off. "I see you guys have already introduced yourselves, very good. Now let me introduce you girls to Käärijä himself, although maybe a certain someone doesn't need it" he playfully remarked, making Jere look away while hiding his face and (Y/N) roll her eyes. "Jere, these are (Y/N) and Aubrey from work. Aubrey, (Y/N), this is Jere" he played around using a formal tone and letting out of their embrace.
"Nice to meet you" Aubrey answered, shaking hands with him and gently pushing (Y/N) forward once she was done to signal her to do so as well.
"I finally know your name" he commented, making her chuckle, "Yes, I guess you do". Mikko and Aubrey swiftly moved to give them some space, going over to Jaakko and Aleksi, who were all in in the same unspoken plan.
"You like the show?" he seemed a bit nervous as he rested his elbow on the counter and signaled the waiter to get him a drink, while attentively listening to her answer, "Honestly, I'd never been to one quite like this. I mean, I've been to rock concerts and such, but this energy you guys put on stage was totally new for me. I really enjoyed it tho, you're really good" she sincerely said.
"Oh, thank you, really" Jere put a hand to his chest as to show gratitude, "It was first concert after months of not doing", he further explained, "So means a lot all people who come here, yes. I'm so happy for this, I was worried if not work well". He sounded so humble (Y/N) couldn't help but grow to like his personality even more. She was curious to know why he hadn't played in a way, but also didn't want to intrude, so she opted for another response. "Well you should be. We all had a blast".
"You understand anything I sing?" he wondered with a perky smirk, before taking a sip from the beer that had just landed in front of him. "I didn't need to", she let it out without giving it a second thought, almost as if this was the only real answer she could give, which to her felt absolutely true. He was shocked by it and spilled some of the drink out, quickly catching the dripping by covering his mouth with a napkin.
"Ah, I make fool of me now, great!" he tried to cover up by playing down the incident. She couldn't stop laughing out loud, some people even noticing the whole scene between the two of them, specially Mikko and company who laughed as well from a distance, "That's what you get for lying to me before" she joked, but grabbed a napkin as well to clean his shirt up, softly patting it on his chest. "Sorry, I wanted to surprise" he justified. It was in that moment that she noticed they were almost the same height. When her gaze moved upward from the stain she was cleaning up, his stare was way closer than she had thought. He carried on talking.
"Also, before, I hope I not make you... uh-, mikä on sana epämukavalle?" he looked over at Mikko for help regarding a language inquire.
"Uncomfortable"
"Yes, that" Jere said, "I hope I not make you uncom... uncomfortable when I, you know-" he tried to explain himself, struggling with the pronunciation. He stroked his own cheek to interpret what he attempted to say. "Oh! No no, don't worry, it was- it was okay. I liked it, actually", his relief was evident after she assured him. He let out a nervous giggle.
Then, something caught his attention. His gaze had travelled to the door, past (Y/N), and what he saw made his face turn dead serious, although also sad. Mikko, Aleksi and Jaakko very quickly noticed what was happening. Aubrey and (Y/N) also turned around to check it out: a girl was standing by the entrance looking for someone with a worried expression.
"Miten uskallat tulla tänne?" Jaakko expressed angrily. The three men addressed Jere, who suddenly was a loss of words and course of action.
"Ex alert" Aubrey whispered to (Y/N) while sipping from her drink's straw. "They're asking him if he wants to go talk to her" she informed her friend, which (Y/N) was thankful for. It was really tiring to not catch anything on her own sometimes. While the four men were talking to each other, deciding what to do next, (Y/N) grabbed Jere's arm and everyone's attention fell on her. She just couldn't stop strongly empathizing with him because she had also recently been through a break up and knew how shitty it was. Jere seemed more at ease when she talked, "Are you okay? Do you want to get out of here?" he looked past her again, everyone following his direction and realizing his ex was coming over to them. "I do, please", "Then we're getting out of here", (Y/N) decided, "You guys coming?" she asked the rest. "No, you guys go on. We'll make sure she doesn't follow" Mikko stated, thankful for her determination.
They said rushed goodbyes and (Y/N) got ahold of his hand to guide him towards the door. When they walked past her, she tried to talk, but they were quick to get out.
As per usual, it was freezing. They started to wander off to anywhere.
...
"I'm sorry about having to go"
They had found a comfortable spot in a park overlooking the town's river and had settled there. They had walked for a while, him trying to talk about anything else but his ex.
"Don't sweat it. I fully understand" she comforted him, then took the vape he had previously offered to her and took a puff before continuing, "I got broken up with three months ago... I hate to admit it, but it's part of the reason I ended up deciding to move here", she explained. He listened to her attentively, with a stern face.
The night was silent over here. It was only the sound of the stream and their hushed voices
"Can I ask why the break up?" he inquired, not wanting to pry on too much. "Only if I can ask why the break up", she made him chuckle. "Yes, of course" he accepted.
"She said I was too impulsive and that she couldn't trust me to maintain a steady and stable relationship, because I couldn't even do that with my own life" she sighed after her explanation and rolled her eyes.
"Wow" Jere said, disapproving look on his face "Hard thing to say".
"Yes, but honestly, I don't hold a grudge anymore. She had her right to think that way too. I do so too sometimes" she admitted, handing back the electronic cigarette, since they were taking turns to smoke.
"That's shit" he commented, which made them both laugh, "But I understand, too. "My ex, Sofia, that's her name, she uh- said she not approve of music career" his gaze moved upfront, "She said It's either me or music, and I think she not like my answer" Jere let out a half-sad cackle, "This is all I ever wanted to do. I loved her, I feel like I still do a bit, you know? But..." he nodded negatively before finishing the sentence, "I need someone who give support. What I told you before, the not doing concerts? A part of it was because I got, uh, insecure".
Silence fell between them as they both got lost in their own thoughts for a brief moment.
"You know, for someone who claims to not be good at English, you can maintain quite a deep conversation" her words made him belly laugh again. He looked at her and handed the vape once more. "Don't need Duolingo for that" he referenced. He was about to speak again but cut himself. "You can go on, it's fine", his doe-like blue eyes seeped cherishment.
"Oh, I not know, talking about ex was not in my plans when being alone with a girl I like" he made her blush, "I just thinking that, you know, I'm almost... mikä on sana" he struggled again with the language "Thirty year old?" he doubted if he had said it right, and the girl nodded to indicate him he had, "Thirty year old, and when younger I thought Oh, I achieve my dreams at thirty, have the family, all that... You know? And... nothing of that" he described, "My songs, some say that. But you not understand, so..." he added jokingly to lighten the mood, erupting laughter from her.
"Hey, I'm trying really hard to find a place where I can learn Finnish! Give me a break..." she defended herself, while the giggling from both of them died down. "But, just so you know, most of us feel this way too. Having your life figured out at thirty? That only happens to the lucky ones, I can assure you" she saw his tired expression and put a hand to his shoulder, "And by the way, you're crazy talented. We were all mesmerized by your performance. You can get to whatever place you want to be, and if you don't, well... It won't be because of your fault".
They were once again looking in each other's eyes. His gaze travelled down to her mouth. They were sitting close to one another as to avoid the cold wind. Her heart beat faster. How come did she feel like he had known him for such a long time if this was practically their first ever proper conversation? Yet she couldn't fight it. She had seen so many sides of him in such a short amount of time; she swore she'd never been that much of a romantic but the alcohol, mixed with how vulnerable they both felt in that moment and the fact that she was finally feeling at ease after more than a month of such a big change in her life, probably did the trick.
"Can- can I...?" he started nervously, but was interrupted.
"Yes"
Their lips crashed, finally killing the anticipation. Her hands cupped his face and his ones settled on her waist. She felt his long eyelashes touch her face, his beard tickled her jaw and his hoop piercing was cold on her nose. (Y/N) enjoyed feeling all these parts of Jere on her. He truly was so pretty. And suddenly, she wanted to make sure he knew just how pretty he was and how much he deserved to know it. The wave of boldness she had had to ask him to sit down with her those two weeks ago, but had been interrupted, came back as a stronger force.
When they separated to catch their breath, (Y/N) kept his face close to hers. He was panting through a timid smile and hot red burned his cheeks. She noticed her face doing the same thing.
"My apartment is a five minute walk from here" she suggested.
"Meidän on hyödynnettävä sitä" he whispered, hands going up and down her sides, and the Finnish language had never sounded so seductive to her.
"I didn't catch that",
"You don't need to. I will show you".
#kaarija#jere poyhonen#eurovison 2023#eurovision#esc23#bojan cvjeticanin#kaarija x reader#käärijä x reader#jere x reader#jere pöyhönen#cha cha cha#finland was fucking robbed#finland is my winner#finland esc#justice for finland#käärijä#joker out
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Gods who offer light in the night, I hold you most dear Gods of the road, of protection, and the earth as you shine Endlessly, my fears are seen and soothed by you as you guide
Artemis Amphipyros, Lady Mene under the will of her dear mother She shows every wandering man across the land what is hidden Bull-horned goddess, the light of her crescent moon dances above
Demeter Erinys, Kyanopeplos in your mourning As you search the earth, torches in hand While you gift and enlighten us with your many mysteries Though in rage and woe, you still gave us survival The means to get through every moment of harsh weather
Dionysos Lamptêros, Nyktelios with the many in your shadow One would be hard fought to have a better delight Only to experience a moment in your divine revelry Under your crackling light, I am in tune with the many cries
Hekate Dadophoros, Daeira who sees the lost souls Nudging them along with the many howls Her very presence incites, most noble, all-hearing She guides the weary, the shunned, and the unanswered Ebony-horned Mene, glad-hearted in connecting gods and men
Hermes Argeiphontês, Kêryx I hear your booming voice Navigating me in every search to know what is before me No matter how much I stumble upon your infinite paths I know that with you, I will reach the end of all roads I travel
Pandia Selene, Pasiphae, magnifying your brother's might Shining down your soft, silver light to brighten the darkness Bull-horned, white, round, and in full view leaving nothing a mystery
* I am using Argeiphontês here not to refer to him as the killer of Argos, but as the Radiant One. While it isn't much, and a rarer artistic depiction, torch-bearing Hermes does exist
#my writing#there are more gods#but honestly#these are the only ones that I have time and energy for and honestly#are the main ones#hellenic polytheism#hellenic paganism#hellenic gods#hellenic deities#helpol#artemis deity#demeter deity#dionysos deity#hekate deity#hermes deity#selene deity
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