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sugaroto · 2 years ago

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Panelele* story time

*Panhellenic exams, aka will define whether I go into uni or not

Day 1: Essay, aka greek

Our theme was feminism and women's rights. I think i did ok? Tho I finished like an hour earlier and then started panicking cause I finished earlier and didn't dare to leave the classroom. I literally checked everything like 15 times and even counted my words on theme Γ and Δ (Γ =literature exercise, Δ=essay) and then I panicked again cause I was -20 words on the essay

A good thing is that the day before I was reading some old essays of mine and I happened to read one I had written about human rights (this was probably the best one I've ever written since I got 25/30) and I remembered 2 paragraphs I had about women and wrote everything on my essay, tho it was a little messier of course but at least I had the ideas ready?

One thing the whole school agreed on is that once we got out we all laughed on [that one guy] (misogynist, racist, homophobic etc kinda guy) that probably failed

Most of us dislike him and once we got out we were like "GUYS. HIM" And then laughed about it. Sorry not sorry. He wants to be a politician, I hope he wont succeed. The country is already bad as it is

Also, a lot of people (online) were commenting on Text 2, cause "I was so glad when I saw feminism was the theme, but once I read text 2 I was dissapointed to see it still misogyny"

Which yeah, I get where they're coming from, the author was like "new feminism is bad and likes victim-culture, classic old feminism is good" and... also the description said something about identity of genders which sounded very queer to me so I thought the author might originally be attacking trans people but the actual text did not mention trans people

Also. None of that matters. Yeah the text was bullshit, was my job to listen to it? No my job was to find what gave away that the author was using comparison on the second paragraph. I literally had to find the words "on the contrary" and "but" (αντιθέτως, όμως) and say why they meant comparison

I was so focused on that that when I noticed something was weird with the text I just went like "Huh... weird ....*circles*ΑΝΤΙΘΈΤΩΣ"

Also, the whole point is to keep it neutral and not be controversial, I could write that all women are witches that should be burn if it was my opinion but if I wrote it reasonably and fair enough it'd still be acceptable

Probably the most controversial in my essay was the mention of "hijab" which I tried to be very neutral about

Day 2: ancient greek

2 parts, γνωστό & άγνωστο aka (known & unknown)

Known: what we have been taught in class, texts from ancient dudes we have to know the meaning about

Unknown: text we've never seen before in our lives but we're supposed to know enough grammar and translate it ourselves and answer questions about grammar

Known: absolute bullshit. Aristotle. Fuck you Aristotle. We were sure we'd have the text about Alexander, but no it had to be Aristotle's town. I didn't know shot I messed up on that part

Unknown: disaster. The text was some dude whining to Socrates cause his son wanted a σοφιστη teacher, the grammar ruined me. I wrote σχε, the right was σχες, I wrote αγενου, the right was αγενους, I wrote ραον/ραδιον, the right was ραδιον/ραον. I was crying two days about it. The whole word is considered wrong. I get nothing for the effort of trying to figure out that έχειν becomes σχε(ς) in β' πρόσωπο προστακτικής αορίστου β or something and also that is a fucking ανώμαλο

Also. They were this close 🤏 to fail me, cancel me before we were even given the exam

Cause, in order to do all that grammar shit, we need to make a draft

So since we had to be in the room for the next 50 minutes or something waiting, I started making a draft of some very basic nouns and verbs bc knowing me I'd forget everything once I was given the exam

And im like "sorry is it OK I wrote with a pencil?"

"YOU WROTE? THIS CAN GET YOU CANCELED ITS CONSIDERED CHEATING" *αντιγραφή as in "copying" as if I have the answers next to me and I'm copying them

And im like "I didn't copy them," I literally just wrote them and birthed the thoughts out of my fucking mind what the fuck is the difference if I do it now or in 30 minutes

And im like should I erase it? It's pencil I'm not cheating I literally JUST ANAPNOH GAMOTO OLOI OI MALAKES EPITORITES SE MENA

And they call some other teachers and I guess who was supposed to be the boss was like "nah keep it who cares its ok"

And then, when I was done with the exam, cause I had shitted my pants cause of that, I started erasing the draft just in case AND THE MOMENT I DID this freaking bitch gets up and goes and talks to the the other teacher while looking at me and then they call the boss again and I hear him whispering "it's ok"(δεν πειράζει)

But I was so sure they would cancel me the moment I got up so I sat there for like 30 minutes in fear that if I got up they'd tell me "sorry you failed cause you erased the draft we let you keep"

Day 3: latin

We're given the exam right?

I start writing

The teacher brings her chair next to my desk and rests her hand on my desk

(THE PAIN OF HAVING TO SEAT ON THE FRONT FUCKING DESK)

Ok... maybe she wants to do her job which is to keep an eye on students. She's not bothering me yet

She grabs my ID card (we were given those in order to participate) and reads it...

Ok...

She lets it down

She grabs my sharpener and looks at it, she lets it down

Why. The. Fuck. Is. She. Touching. My. Things.

She gets bored and starts drumming her fingers on the desk. I give her a death stare( and so does my friend on the other desk) but look back down as soon as she looks back at me

She SPEAKS TO ME "Είναι πολλά τα θέματα;" (does the exam has a lot of parts?)

Considering they almost failed me the other day (different people) and im not allowed to... like have a chit chat- like this is a serious exam there's seriously a police officer outside- I don't know what to do I just shrugged at her

"Ok let me see then" AND SHE GRABS THE EXAM FROM MY HANDS WHILE I WAS FUCKING WRITING TO "SEE" AND IM LIKE "πρέπει να γραψω"(I have to write) and SHES LIKE OH YEAH RIGHT AND GIVES IT BACK

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

I THINK THATS ILLEGAL AND I FELT ASSAULTED

THIS IS LIKE THE MOST IMPORTANT EXAM IN MY LIFE SO FAR AND SHE HAS THE AUDACITY TO BOTHER ME CAUSE SHES BORED

YOU CANT JUST GRAB MY EXAMS LIKE THAT

ALSO IT WAS DEAD SILENCE IN THERE UNTIL I SPOKE "I HAVE TO WRITE" AND PEOPLE LOOKED AT ME BUT THE ONES THAT WERE CLOSE HAD PICKED UP ON THE FACT THAT THERE WAS SOMETHING FUCKING WRONG WITH HER

My friend who I'm together in tutoring class and was sitting on the other side of the classroom was like was that sugar? But she didn't dare to look up or speak bc she understood something was off

WHAT the actual fuck

Do they check the teachers before they bring them in? Wtfwtfwtfwtfwtwtf

I couldn't focus after that

Thankfully Latin is my fave class and the texts we had to translate were easy

But holy fucking shit

And I did do a mistake on the translation cause I wrote "αναδεικνύει" instead of "ανταποκρίνοταν" so I later when I was checking my answers I asked where I had to write the right word bc there was no space so I needed to leave a note and she was like "I don't think we can answer now that everyone has left" (we were only 3 students in the class by then) WELL MAYBE I WOULDN'T HAVE MADE A MISTAKE IF SOMEONE DIDN'T GRAB MY EXAMS WHILE I WAS TRANSLATING

Day 4: History

History is my worst class. The teachers were normal. Nobody tried to fail me before I was given the exams.

I didn't have high hopes for history because I've never gotten a good grade but my tutor believes I was lucky enough cause everything that was on the exam was something I liked and knew(according to her, according to me I hate it all)

The good news is that on the first πηγή* my answer was very big, first time that happens I always fail on my πηγές

Also there was a question about what the first government of Crete did and I had no idea what the first government of Crete even was but I remember there was a list of 12 things that were done in Crete so I just wrote that cause it was the only thing I knew

Turns out that was the right answer, I found it out by pure luck

Also turns out there were 9 things, but in the end I had only found 5 so ok

*πηγή they give us a bunch of texts and we have to write "according to the text and then according to what I know *answers questions*"

Day 5: I still have English on Saturday and idk what will happen. That was a choice exam

#sugarenia school stuff #probably the last time i use that tag🥲?#panhellenic #Panhellenic exams #panelele #panelele 2023 #Panhellenic exams 2023 #πανελληνιες #Πανελελε #πανελλήνιες 2023 #sugarenia talks #sugarenia thoughts

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ramayantika · 2 years ago

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I am moving out from here on 14th April. My brother has his jee on 13th after which we will head back home to Durgapur. I have lived here in odisha, my native state for three years now. As a child, we never visited other tourist places much. We only got time to visit our grandparents and cousins. My cousins lived where I live now: Nalco, Angul. I wanted to live here when I was a kid just to stay with my cousins and play with them until I was forced to stay in odisha instead of completely my high school in kolkata like we were supposed too and then living here in Angul was suggested by chacha chachi, so we did, with hopes of getting something good out of it.

I am here only for nine more days. I had arrived here on 15th August where the physics sir had told us to quickly study S block and give a test in two hours. I remember how I felt like crying. We had just reached this place, barely opened our luggage, and I was hearing this neet jee for an hour and then a test. I wanted to sleep, but somehow I studied and I had scored really bad. Like I do often, I ended up crying in the car. I was like mummy dance class band kar dete hai abhi padhai pe hi dhyan dungi. For someone who loves dance a lot, I have told my mother to cancel dance classes because I thought that I wasn't good enough to do both because I was lacking in my studies, and as for every middle class person, job and money comes first and then your dreams until your job money dream everything lies in one single thing.

Well, my dance class continued, I gave my dance exam online, completed learning a few items too, wrote stories and studied hard. I have wasted time too by crying or by simply procrastinating or sometimes I would engage myself in dance or writing for a much longer time than scheduled. And now all of this will end. I will wrap my things again and go home. Now I have lived in durgapur for only a month. I loved it so I am looking forward to it now.

It feels surreal. I wanted to move out of this place so badly in the initial months. I still want too. But now looking back, this experience has made me feel grateful and wiser about so many things. My school friends from kolkata still complain that why I had to go to odisha and stay there, but I am happy I did. As a tenth grader, I lived in my own world and had a pink dream idea of being with my friends, wearing fashionable clothes, attending parties and fests and studying ofc, nothing much.

Over here each and every expectation, every dream was broken. Like they say, to find yourself one needs to lose themselves too, which I did. That was a really dark phase. Alone, with no one and no idea how and why is this happening to you. But some time later I rediscovered myself again. It was art, poetry, stories and dance. It was me connecting back to God, whom I had forgotten in the glitz and glamour of big cities. I read the same ramayana mahabharata and folk tales, but I had begun finding learning lessons from them which as a child I was only enamoured by the story, the drama and visuals.

The things 13year old samridhi enjoyed, I no longer enjoy them anymore. The clothing, the music, the lifestyle everything has taken a 360 degree turn. Once I enjoyed parties and loud music, we used to have some in kolkata sometimes and I loved it. Now, I don't think I can. I want to have friends and make memories and enjoy, but no longer with music drinks and stuff. Somewhere simple and meaningful.

I know that in the upcoming months there are going to be many changes, but these experiences shall stay with me and remind me to be humble and rooted to the ground. I have seen the rich, sparkles and exciting rush and also the slow life, muddy roads, farms and simple people simple towns. There is still more to see in the near future, but to live through all this is a big thing for an 18 year old.

And if it were not sambalpur and angul, I wouldn't have known how strangers can be loving, how certain people hold such a great mark over you and your story, and how colourful life can be.

#samridhi speaks #bahut gyan de diya idhar lol

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jadespadegames · 2 years ago

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2022 Greatest Hits

Uhhh technically tagged by @cassthecringe and I guess I'm supposed to think of 10 good things that happened this year.

Even though this year ended pretty badly, looking back there was plenty of stuff that went pretty well. At least, compared to previous years.

1) After like 6 years of online friendship I finally met my dear friend @eldridgeparking IRL! It was so much fun and honestly I still can't believe that really happened. (Wtf my online friends are real tangible people?)

2) I guess I was technically approved for a big raise a few months back but some stuff's kinda made that raise not yet take effect :/ Hopefully it'll go through in January but I'm still gonna count that as a good thing for this year.

3) Uhhh I guess I wrote a good chunk of Part 01 for THV, although a bunch of it needs to be rewritten later lol. Figured out a lot of important plot/character stuff tho that I think are major improvements.

4) Watched a bunch of good movies and TV shows this year, rn I can think of Everything Everywhere All At Once, Glass Onion (managed to watch it in theaters last month :'D), Mob Psycho 100 (finally finished the whole series augh), Spy x Family

5) Went to the San Diego Zoo, that was cool. Finally saw a California Condor irl which was something I've wanted to see for a long time. Plus, San Diego Zoo is responsible for saving the species from certain extinction so it was nice to see them there of all places.

6) Got a new phone, a Samsung Galaxy Flip 4. I was skeptical about the foldable function but it's actually working pretty well and I like being able to put my phone easily in my pockets again.

7) Wait I can't believe I forgot this happened only this year until now but I got my own room for once! Not that I didn't have one when I was a kid but it was so full of my childhood stuff and also stuff my parents didn't have room for that it didn't really feel like My Room. In college I always lived in a small room with roommates. But now I have my own space for once that I sorta put together which is nice.

8) Saw Wicked live, thought it was enjoyable (at least the first act, second act was a bit. Hmm). Glinda's actress stole the show though she was an absolute riot. After seeing two musicals live tho I really wish I could read captions because I can't tell wtf they're singing most of the time and I feel like that makes me miss a bunch of stuff-

9) Uhhh my DrakeNier Meme Twitter sorta took off after I posted a few bangers

10) (If you can't tell I was really struggling to come up with things towards the end) I bought and finished the Bone comics after never finishing them as a child and they were wonderful. Netflix how dare you cancel the adaptation YOU HAD GREATNESS AT YOUR FINGERTIPS

Uhhh I tag anyone who wants to do this, happy new year everyone (:

#jade speaks

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vireeza09 · 2 years ago

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I’ve always loved music eversince I was a kid and have always been fascinated with concerts of artists and bands I watched online. I told myself that when I am already earning, I would definitely watch my faves. I got employed in the year 2012 and year 2013, I was able to watch 2 concerts. (I did blog about those. You can just scroll through my page 😅) Paramore and The Script were the first ones. And mind you, being a first timer back then, I got scammed twice. So much for being desperate! Hahahaha!

Life happened in the following years - got busy with work and love life? 😬 Yikes! Lol. And eventually with raising my daughter. Although I already have priorities, I figured that I should still have time for myself and enjoy once in a while. Right?! 😜

December of 2019, I was able to secure tickets to Avril Lavigne’s concert and early 2020, got seats for Boys Like Girls and Alanis Morisette’s concerts, too. But the pandemic happened and all shows got postponed obviously.

Fast forward to 2022, Alanis’ concert got cancelled and Avril’s got postponed yet again.

Since the world has already started coping up to the new normal, concerts opened their doors again.

September: The Script

Birth month! And what better way to celebrate it? Watch a concert! 🙌🏻 2nd time for this band. I remember in 2013, we came in late for the concert because of the scam I mentioned. Lol. We were too far to really see them.

This time, we were not able to score the best seats but with a certain stroke of luck, the band sang 2 songs just beside us in the audience. How cool was that? We were like shouting OMG the whole time! They were at arm’s reach, and if not for the stern look of the marshalls, we would have already thrown ourselves at them. Hahahaha! I was kinda sad though that they didn’t sing my fave song. I even shouted for them to sing it but I was heartbroken. But I did enjoy the concert, singing along with the crowd and most especially because I was with my constants. 🥰❤️

October: Boys Like Girls

Their songs brings back memories of jeepney rides to and from uni/duty. When smartphones were not that popular and new songs were heard first through the radio (Thank you, KillerBee!) I remember printing out the lyrics of their songs (in a long bond paper, in small font size, and in 5 columns. Hahaha!) just so I can jam along at home. Lol. The concert was postponed for 2 years, but was finally able to watch them live. 🥰❤️

The venue was not that big compared to regular concerts I’ve been to, but it made the band interact to the audience more. 🥰 I even had PCD for about a month. Lol. For the last song, “Love Drunk”, Martin had the audience keep our phones and just jam along just like the old times. It was very special. 🥹❤️

December: Eraserheads

I was not supposed to watch them because I am not really a super fan. I only know my favorites.😅 But my dear friend who’ve always wanted to watch their concert convinced me. More on nagpapilit pala ako. Hahaha! And it’s Eraserheads! Who would say no, right? You will never know when the next concert would be. 😉

Tickets were priced way too high and yet the ones we got were not the best ones. We thought that being there would just be fine. We will just enjoy the experience. But last minute, we took a risk, very desperate to get better tix and voila, upgraded to Moshpit! 🥹🥰❤️

So happy to sing along with the crowd. 🥰 Indeed a memorable experience for an open-ground concert. A first for me.☺️ “Ang Huling El Bimbo” really hit different. And towards the end of the song, there’s fireworks to cap the night off.

*Middle photo of the 2nd collage not mine. ctto. 😊

As the saying goes, “Do what makes you happy.” I’m doing mine. 🥰 Already 2 concerts coming right up in 2023! Waiting for when Avril will push through, Paramore to come back again, and of course, the one and only Taylor Swift. ☺️❤️

Thank you, 2022! 🥰❤️

#TheScript #the script family #boys like girls #eraserheads #hulingelbimbo2022 #eheads #concert

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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses · 3 years ago

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So I (finally!) bought a pair of really good noise cancelling headphones, and it has changed my life! It's the fanciest thing I've bought in years, so to recoup some of the cost, I’ve researched & written a little essay based on my experiences with extreme noise sensitivity.

Hypersensitivity to sound is something I’ve dealt with all of my life, but I only recently found out it's medically known a Hyperacusis. (Please note this is a separate condition from Misophonia.) If you consistently struggle to cope with noise, the info below could be helpful! I’m including a link to my ko-fi, and I will be answering questions in the notes.

(skip to the bottom to read fun facts about my tax return and/or street organs vendettas!)

DISCLAIMER: I am not a professional, this is based solely on my experiences as a patient, and on what I have read and been told by professionals. Please notify me if you have corrections or concerns about accuracy!

BACKGROUND: Sensitivity to sound is a common type of sensory issue. While anyone can experience such issues (most people, for example, might be bothered by loud music in a crowded restaurant), some people are more sensitive than others, to the point it becomes a quality-of-life aka a medical issue.

If you consistently struggle with environmental stimuli that other people aren’t bothered by (background noises, bright lights, certain textures and tastes, etc), to the point it causes daily discomfort or limits the environments you can be in, I recommend reading about Sensory Processing Disorder.

SPD and sound sensitivity are both super common in autistic folks (like me!), but allistic (non-autistic) people can experience them too. Weep, ye prisoners of mortal coil, for none are safe, nothing sacred, not in this thy most accursed tomb of human flesh!

Anyway.

SOUND SENSITIVITY or HYPERACUSIS: Noise issues are particularly difficult to navigate in a world that is increasingly...noisy. The relatively new phenomenon of constant overhead music in restaurants, grocery stores, shopping malls etc—all of this means that public spaces are increasingly inaccessible to people with auditory issues.*

As a kid, nothing quite triggered sensory overload/meltdowns for me like the constant exposure to noise I couldn’t control—the background chatter of other kids in the lunchroom, the constant noise in public spaces, being trapped in the car with the radio on.... I had so many fights with my siblings about the car radio, and who got to choose the music.**

But it’s not just loud sounds that are the problem. As an adult who lives alone and works from home***, I’m lucky enough to be able to avoid loud environments most of the time. This does wonders for my general levels of anxiety and discomfort. But even in a mostly controlled environment, I still experience problems. Because part of sound sensitivity is that even normal or quiet sounds can feel loud and intrusive. Here are some “normal” sounds that can cause me discomfort (ranging from annoyance to outright pain, depending on the day):

refrigerator/AC/ceiling lights humming

dishwasher/washing machine noises

ceiling fan making that damn ceiling fan noise

faint sounds of traffic

riding in a car

other people having a normal conversation in the background

someone talking to me in a perfectly normal inside voice

Unfortunately, even in a “controlled” environment, many triggering noises can’t be controlled. And many parts of life can’t be lived in a controlled environment. This presents...some incredibly freaking annoying problems. Luckily there are solutions!

Sorta.

There are sorta some solutions.

They are imperfect, but they help.

TREATMENT: And now I have something rather shame-faced to admit. In all the years of managing my symptoms, it never once occurred to me to see a hearing specialist for my issues with sound. I wasn’t even aware that treatment options exist, because none of my other doctors mentioned it. Instead, I’ve spent years finding my own coping mechanisms and tools, with help from therapists and psychiatrists, but without ever consulting an audiologist/ENT. It was only while researching this post that I found out that was even an option, holy shit.

So it turns out I am going to be making an appointment with my local ENT practice. shit.

Apparently treatment options include sound/acoustic therapy, systematic desensitization/exposure therapy, cognitive behavior therapy, sound machines, and other options that I had no idea even existed, goddammit.

MANAGEMENT: In the meantime, here are my current coping mechanisms. I’ve relied rather heavily on hearing protection, which is very useful when used in moderation. Unfortunately, it can cause its own problems: it’s important not to overuse hearing protection, because in the long-term this can increase your sensitivity. So again: a useful tool, but be careful not to overdo it.

With that in mind, here are some of the coping strategies I’ve used over the last decade to manage my symptoms. This is not a perfect system and you should contact your local ENT clinic for better, long-term solutions, but in the meantime here are some tips I use to just get myself through the damn day:

Regularly spending time in a quiet controlled environment, to allow my nervous system to decompress.

Wearing earplugs, (I use two different grade, depending on the level of noise prevention I need), and always carrying an extra pair in case I need them unexpectedly. I bought a 50 pack for $7 and put spares in all my bags and jacket pockets.

(I mostly use Mack’s Ultra Soft, but there are so many types and materials and brands, including foam, silicone, wax, custom moldable etc. Even if you have trouble wearing things in your ears, you might be able to find something comfortable.)

Similarly: hearing protection earmuffs, the kind used in gun ranges and on construction sites. I bought mine online for $10. they look like normal wireless headphones, so I've never gotten comments when wearing mine in public (other than “cool heaphones” bc i added skull glitter stickers).

Sometimes I wear the earmuffs on top of earplugs, when life is just too damn LOUD.

Listening to music w/ earbuds or headphones is a great way to balance out background noises, especially if you can find soothing playlists that help you concentrate. Also useful to put in just one earbud when you need to pay attention in class/at work.

Pro tip: if your hair is long enough you can wear wireless earbuds without anyone knowing.

White noise, rain noises, ocean noises etc can be helpful! Some people like whale songs although personally this activates my primal fear response

Active noise cancelling headphones: the reason I wrote this post to begin with—I finally bought a pair! As in, a really good pair! As in, a depressingly expensive pair with noise cancelling technology that actually WORKS, holy shit. I probably need to wear them a little less at home (bc overprotection causes problems in the longterm) but they have absolutely transformed my ability to go out in public and i never ever want to take these suckers off again please take a power screwdriver and nail these to my head, bury me in the sweet sweet shroud of silence. holy canoli and cream puffs I want to marry form a civil partnership with these headphones. Plus they have a bunch of features, like being able to control the level of noise cancellation, so I can hold a conversation or be aware of some ambient noise for safety reasons.

Oh, and also they play music I guess?

Sorry sorry I promise this post wasn’t supposed to be me shilling for Big Electronics. I’m just excited, I’m an excited flabby little ball of expired flubber. ANC headphones aren’t a perfect solution, and I still sometimes wear earplugs underneath, and I will always be uncomfortable some of the time, but for me it’s been a big step.

Unfortunately the cost of good quality ANC technology means this isn’t an option for everyone, and the (much cheaper) gunshot protection earmuffs I mentioned earlier still provide an impressive amount of protection and bang-for-your buck (maybe even an equal amount of protection, if you can find ones that fit well). But if noise consistently prevents you from enjoying public space and life in general, and you’ve already tried earmuffs & earplugs and find they don’t offer enough comfort/convenience/protection, and if you’re in a position to save up for a one time non-necessity purchase of $150+, noise cancelling headphones are an option to be aware of. (Please always check the return policy so you can try before you buy. I ended up buying and returning 2 pairs before finding what worked best for me. And please look for a retailer that offers an extended warranty. You want those motherforkers to last).

There are cheaper options available, including some under $50. The ones I tried didn't work as well as my hearing protection earmuffs, but some people report good experiences, so that is something to consider. it's always good to know your options! Passive noise canceling is another affordable alternative.

Medication: A final tool in my toolbox, which for me personally has helped as much as every other method combined. Like, a lot, it’s helped a lot. It turns out some anti-anxiety medications can also help sensory issues. There’s not much research on this, and I only discovered it firsthand when a medication my doctor prescribed for anxiety ended up significantly helping my sensory issues. I no longer need medication for anxiety, but my psychiatrist still prescribes that same medication off-label for my sensory stuff. Ask your psychiatrist to research your options (they will probably have to do some digging to find relevant research, but you deserve to know all your options, even the obscure ones). Fyi, the medication I use is in the benzodiazepines class, but there are other options for those concerned about dependency or side effects.

(I'm also told anti-anxiety supplements may be helpful, though I haven't tried this yet. If you're on prescription meds, always talk to your doctor about contraindications before taking anything over-the-counter.)

So there you have it, my main coping strategies for sound sensitivity! They are not a replacement for medical treatment (except that last one which is in fact...medical treatment), but I find them helpful and I hope some of you will too! I’ve struggled for a long time, and I’m very pleased to have reached the point where I can just do things in public. Eating out in loud restaurants? I can do that now, and even enjoy it, holy shit! I can comfortably travel in cars for hours at a time, and walk around shopping malls and grocery stores with overhead music, and, and —and just exist. It is so so freeing, to feel like maybe, after everything, you are actually allowed to just exist in a world that wasn’t really designed for you.

Again, be careful not to overuse hearing protection—the goal is to allow you to be less uncomfortable and to function better, but if you find you are becoming more sensitive to noise, it is time to dial it back a notch. Or maybe consider listening to music (at a reasonable volume) to block out background noise instead.

*(This also includes people with hearing loss and related issues, btw. While that’s not my area of knowledge, I would welcome it if any of my HoH followers want to share their experiences.)

**A sign of sensory issues that parents often miss is when a child complains about music being too loud—but has no problem listening to their own music at high volume. This is because music that is already familiar to the listener (and that the listener enjoys) is much easier for the brain to process, since it knows what pattern of sounds to expect. Loud music that they get to control can be soothing for people with sound issues, especially when it blocks out background noise and sensations. This is why repetitively playing the same songs can be a helpful form of stimming.

***(working on this blog, actually. since it’s my only source of income, my 2020 income tax return literally lists my occupation as ‘Tumblr Blogger.’ Oddly, my parent didn’t feel this achievement was worth including in the holiday family newsletter.)

bonus fun fact: Charles Babbage aka “father of the computer” may have been autistic and hypersensitive to sound. He definitely had a huge problem with public noise pollution, and spent his later year waging a war on street musicians (and organ grinders in particular).

(bc like, yeah. screw organ grinders.)

Sometimes when I’m out in public and the overhead music is particularly unbearable, I’ll take a moment to look up to the sky and scream out: “HE TRIED TO WARN US! THE FATHER OF COMPUTERS TRIED TO WARN US!!! we should have listened, sweet heaven we should have listened!”

except i don’t scream it, i say it very quietly under my breath

(i have issues with noise)

so yeah that is my short essay. and here is the ko-fi goal

k ciao i gotta go pick out glitter stickers for my headphones

#actuallyautistic #not a shitpost #holy shit how did i spend 3 hours writing this what even is my blog #this blog is supposed to be blue whale anxiety and uncomfortably sexy clown jokes #what am i doing #sensory processing disorder #sensory issues #mental health #actually autistic #NOTIFY ME OF ANY TYPOS #i proofread this 5 times my eyes weep an unceasing flood of blood and regret #adhd #actuallyadhd #autism #sensory problems

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butwhyduh · 4 years ago

Text

Hot Days

Roy Harper x reader

It’s June in Texas and my ac went out and the apartment is based on a place I used to live.

Warning: smut, oh god they were roommates.

Roy was trying to be a good man. He really was. But goddamn if you didn’t make it hard. He tried everything to not think about you. You were his roommate.

Roy hated using Oliver’s money. So he didn’t. He had a complicated relationship with his mentor but that meant that Roy didn’t have a ton of funds. So that’s how he ended up in frankly the smallest 2 bedroom apartment he’d ever seen.

There was one sink with a wooden panel divider that separated the sink from the shower and toilet room. This made interesting bathroom privacy. He had a window in his bedroom that was so close to the next building, Roy could probably touch it. And the tiny iron elevator that creaked left much to be desired when Roy moved in.

He had picked the place online and knew that he had a roommate with perfect rent paying history and that’s all Roy cared about. But when he carried in his mattress to be introduced to you, he was smitten.

You were a nice roommate, quiet, clean, paid your bills. But Roy couldn’t keep his mind off of you. The way you looked when you had ran up the stairs, when you offered him tea every time you made it, when you did yoga in the living room. He had gone to his room for some ‘alone time’ when you came in with a soaked white t shirt in a sudden spring rain storm. His thoughts about your hard nipples visible through the see through material as he fisted his cock.

Why didn’t Roy try anything with you? He was popular with women. But Roy was trying to be a good person. He wanted to live somewhere for more than a few months, pay his bills, and then find a better place when he saved up a little money for him and Lian.

Lian would stay over often. You usually tried to stay out of their way when she was over. She slept in Roy’s room. But you loved her. She was a sweetheart with a good right hook and the most precocious 5 year old you’d ever met. And so you would rarely join them in a movie night.

And when Lian wasn’t there, Roy stayed busy. He was always working on something if he was home at all. Soldering irons were commonly used on different kinds of small devices he worked on. Roy was a tough guy. You’d seen him with plenty black eyes and busted lips. You’d just assumed he was a hothead in Gotham.

You’d also seen him in some of the most compromising positions. On your couch with his hand in his pants, with a woman on her knees in the shower, and more than countable times with someone in his bed. He had a healthy sex life. You couldn’t blame him. He was hot. You couldn’t even blame him for getting caught.

Roy had caught you, or more heard, you in the shower with your vibrator more than once. He’d laugh and tell you to “have fun” or “get another one for me.” You’d considered more than once of offering for him to join you but you never did. A good roommate that paid their bills and weren’t creepy were worth their weight in gold. Everything was great.

And then June hit and the raining stopped and sun came out and it got hot. You could see the heat off the pavement. And your poor little air conditioner went out. On a Friday. And your landlord apologized but said that Monday OR Tuesday was the earliest someone would come fix it.

“Tuesday? I’m supposed to have Lian all weekend and it’s 84 in here,” Roy said with a groan. “I’ll have to cancel because she’ll be miserable,” he said with a sigh.

“Yep, we’ll be miserable all right. I feel like I’m going to melt right now,” you said sitting in front of a fan.

Roy spent the next 2 hours looking and messing with the air conditioner before conceding defeat. There was a part that needed to be replaced by an AC specialist. And so you both sweat and tried to ignore the heat for 3 hours. And it worked. For a while.

“God it’s hot,” you said. “Sorry to be a bad roommate but my room is even worse and I have to,” you said before unstrapping your bra and tossing it in your room. Roy gulped and stared at the tv but his attention was definitely on your breasts and how nice they looked in your tank top.

“You don’t have to wear a bra for me, sweetheart,” Roy says. You gave him a side eye.

“Eyes are up here, Harper,” you said before the doorbell buzzed. “That’s pizza!” You hurried to the door and opened it to a pizza boy holding 3 boxes.

“Hiyah,” he said staring at your breasts obviously. Roy stood behind you with his arms crossed intimidatingly and cleared his throat. “Sorry! Sorry. Uh... that’ll be $23.46,” the kid said with wide eyes. You paid him and he hurried to leave.

“Protecting my honor? Not really your thing,” you commented grabbing a plate.

“Teaching the kid some manners.” Roy leaned against the counter with a slice in hand.

“Really? You don’t have much room to talk,” you said dryly fanning yourself with some paper napkins.

“I do,” he protested.

“Really?” You said and you did a little jump and Roy’s eyes couldn’t leave your chest.

“Okay, that’s not fair. Of course I gotta look when they’re bouncing all perfect,” Roy said.

“Failed,” you teased. Roy scoffed.

“So serious question, why don’t you ever bring anyone back here?” Roy asked. “Cuz I mean you’re hot and you clearly like orgasms.”

“Wow, this place is definitely too small to be private,” you said flushing. “You should not know that.”

“I pretty much know every time you pull out little Dickie and go to town,” he confirmed and you sputtered a little. “But you also know everything I do so... why don’t you bring anyone home?”

“Besides the fact that I have an attractive male roommate that likes to scare guys off?” You offered.

“Yeah.”

“I’m boring. I work a lot and don’t have time to meet guys at the club or whatever and online dating in Gotham seems like a good way to die,” you said with a shrug. You held your coke can to your face and closed your eyes.

“Okay valid,” Roy conceded. His eyes tracked the way you slid the can across your cheek and down your throat leaving a wet trail. You glistened with sweat and honestly he was having a hard time not staring.

“I’m going to climb in the fridge. Just gently shut the door behind me,” you joked and Roy’s mind flashed to how unfunny this joke would be around a certain Titan friend.

“I’ll join you,” he said taking a huge gulp from a water bottle. Was possible to die from sweating?? Or thirst?

You opened the freezer and held your face in the door before grabbing an ice cube. You pressed it to your cheek and across your forehead. Now maybe Roy was just horny but he could have sworn the way you ran it across your neck and collar was purposefully sexy. Roy couldn’t help but track the movement. Fuck that was hot. You took the cube in your lips and sucked the water off.

Roy had it. He couldn’t handle it anymore. He walked over to you and cupped your face in his hands. “I hope you don’t mind,” he said before kissing your lips.

They were slightly cold from the ice cube that was melting in your mouth. You gasped and Roy slipped his tongue in to move the cube in your mouth. It was a sensation you had never had before, an icy cube and hot tongue moving at the same time. You whimpered at the sensation.

Roy wrapped his arms around your back and pulled you closer. Your hands rested on his chest. How was he this fit? Fuck his chest was like a rock, you noted as you ran your hands across his pecs. Roy finally pulled back to rest his forehead against yours when his lungs felt like they were going to explode.

“I really hope you don’t mind,” he mumbled with his eyes closed. If he didn’t open his eyes, then you hadn’t told him no yet.

“I far from mind,” you said taking a finger and pulling his chin up to kiss you again. “Really don’t mind,” you said between kisses, pulling him to your room. You let Roy push you on the mattress and crawl over you. His lips found your throat and Roy kissed down the glistening skin that he had been admiring for so long. His hands cupped your breasts and he rubbed your nipples through your thin tank top.

You pulled at his t shirt and Roy sat back on his knees to pull it off. You pulled your shirt off too and Roy groaned at the sight. “Fuck doll, your tits,” he said before making it his mission to touch every spot with his tongue.

“Fuck! Roy!” You gasped grasping his back as he took a nipple in his mouth and giving it a vicious suck. You arched into his touch and Roy loved the way you writhed beneath him before he had even touched between your legs. His hand moved down to cup your pussy just as you tried to take off his belt.

“You got a condom in here, Princess?” He asked.

“Uh, top drawer,” you said and he got up to find them. You pulled off the rest of your clothes.

“Found Dickie,” he said waving your vibrator around. “Cute. Maybe next time,” Roy winked. You rolled your eyes. He walked to you as he kicked off his pants and when he went to pull off his boxers you sat up and stopped him. “If you don’t want to-“

“I want to,” you said. “But I want to take it off.”

Roy hummed approval as you cupped his very erect cock through his pants. He playfully bent and ran his fingers through your folds. “Fuck babydoll, you’re practically drippin.”

“Roy,” you whined and he laughed before inhaling quickly as you pushed his boxers down and wrapped your fingers around him. You stroked him a few times before putting the condom on.

“Lay back,” he said with a wink. “And I’ll make you feel good.”

You wrapped your legs around his hips and pulled him close. The head of his cock pressed against your entrance. Roy kissed you once before pushing in. You arched into his touch. He sat for a second to enjoy just how tight you gripped him.

“Fucking move,” you breathed and he chuckled before roughly thrusting. “Yes,” you said roughly. Roy sat a rough pace and enjoyed the show of you moaning and writhing beneath him.

Roy pushed one of your knees up to your chest and you threw your head back with your mouth making a cute little silent o shape. He could watch this all day. “Right there,” you whined.

“Fuck, really? It’s been that long hu?” He teased.

“Shut the fuck up, Harper,” you said but the way you were gripping the sheets and leaning into his touch said otherwise. Roy gripped one of your tits and you made a strangled cry before clenching around him. He grinned and watched you come apart. It was rare for him to be able to enjoy his partner’s orgasm without his own close behind it. Roy slowed down as you came down from your high.

“Baby, if I knew you needed it that bad,” he cooed and you smacked his shoulder. “Can I give you another one?” Roy pressed the other leg up to where you felt incredibly exposed but the places he was hitting had you not caring in the least. Your thighs shook after a while and Roy really hoped that meant you were close. You grabbed your own tits and leaned your head back. Roy groaned as you clenched around him. This time you whimpered out his name on repeat as you came. Roy let go almost immediately and filled the condom. His thrusts were rough and deep and he groaned. He laid on you and gave you a sloppy kiss before pulling out to throw away the condom.

Roy came back in the bed and kissed you again before maneuvering you on his chest. You both were disgusting and covered in sweat in the insanely hot room. It was probably 90 in the damn thing.

“I should have done that ages ago,” Roy muttered. You slapped his pec and he jumped. “Hey, I’m just saying. You’re dynamite in the sack, babe.”

“God, you’d be a 10 if you’d just shut up, Harper,” you said with an eye roll before closing your eyes. 2 orgasms made you sleep, what can you say? He laughed.

“I’ll remember that next time.”

“Next time?” You asked looking at him with one eye open.

“Sure,” he said. “Unless ol’ Dickie really does it for yah. But I get the feeling he just doesn’t cut it.”

“Shhh,” you said putting your hand over his mouth. “Don’t ruin it with your mouth.”

“You could always put my mouth to work,” he said lewdly.

“Don’t tempt me. Don’t tempt me.”

#friday night smut #Roy Harper x reader #dc #arsenal x reader #dc fanfic #roy harper imagines #Roy Harper smut #dc fanfic smut

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ratmonky · 4 years ago

Text

Out of Body Experience

Word Count: 4.9K

Warnings: semi-public

AO3 Link

[You matched with Maru!]

[Send Maru a message!]

Maru: Hey.

(username): hiii!!

Maru: You look cute in your pictures on your profile.

(username): omg you think so?? i’m really happy!! i thought you had a rlly cool bio,,, i guess i did the right choice to like your bio

Maru: Thanks. I was surprised to get a notification that we matched. You’re way out of my league.

(username): don’t say that maruuu~ i bet you look handsome irl

Maru: I don’t.

(username): hmm, wanna prove it?? >.<

Maru: I don’t know.

(username): don’t be shy!! ur bio said you lived in kyoto, wanna meet up this saturday?

Maru: You’ll be disappointed.

(username): i promise i won’t!!! i like meeting new ppl!!! besides if we didn’t click we can still be friends?? i feel like you and i will be close no matter what!!

Maru: Are you sure? We just met.

(username): yep!!! come ooooonnnnn it’ll be fun to hang out!!

Maru: Fine.

(username): yay!!! let’s meet in front of the train station!! ahh i’m so excitedddd i can’t waittt TwT

Maru: Me too.

(username): <3

[Maru: <3………….. (send)]

Kokichi paused and deleted the message.

Maru: See you.

~~~

Kokichi’s first impression of you was that you were naive and careless. You wanted to meet up with him without any hesitation, what if he was someone who could harm you?

He stared at his screen and at your pictures.

You were gorgeous, he had never seen someone as pretty as you. On top of all that you wanted to meet him.

It made him feel special, wanted even.

~~~

When a notification sound filled his ears, Kokichi immediately checked if it was from you.

(username): maruuuuu!!!! i missed u ))):

He stared at the message and read it three times but didn’t quite understand why you would miss him.

Maru: What?

(username): i thought you’d text me but u didn’t,,, i couldn’t sleep cuz i was thinking about u

Maru: I didn’t think you wanted me to text you.

(username): )):

Maru: ?

(username): )))):

Maru: (:

(username): (((((:

Maru: You’re childish aren’t you?

(username): what about it q;

Maru: Nothing. How old are you anyway?

(username): old enough to drinkkkk!!!

Maru: Me too. Which Jujutsu college are you going to?

(username): ohh, hehe… i dropped out cuz it wasn’t my thing

Maru: That’s irresponsible. Did you drop because you couldn’t keep up with your curse classes or was it for some other reason?

(username): maruuuu stop talking about jujutsu with meee!!!

Maru: Then what should we talk about?

(username): about our date >.<

Maru: Date?

(username): did u forget already )):

Maru: Forget what?

(username): our date on saturday )):

Maru: That’s a date?

(username): TwT ur making me sad maru

Maru: I don’t understand it, we just said we’d meet up.

(username): this is a dating website for ppl like us ///:

Maru: You want to date me?

(username): idk anymore,,, seems like ur a heartbreaker and i feel like u don’t feel a connection between us as i do

Maru: Wait! Don’t jump to conclusions all by yourself! You don’t even know what I look like, how can you be so sure that you want to date me?

(username): i mean,,, we matched for a reason,,, i liked ur bio and wanted to get to know u better is that bad??

Maru: No. No, it isn’t. I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings. I'm new to this sort of stuff.

(username): apology accepted!!!! ahhhh ur so cute,,, i can’t wait to meet u

Maru: Same here.

~~~

His classmates knew something was up. Robotic demeanor was gone and instead, it was actually a part of himself as Kokichi that was showing through.

“Mechamaru looks happy nowadays,” Kamo noted.

“It’s relieving that he shows us a softer side of himself,” Miwa added. “Makes me feel happy for him.”

“I wonder what caused him to become this way.” Kamo was talking to himself but Todo took it upon himself to answer.

“He has finally found himself a Takada-chan.” Todo grinned. “Reminds me, I never asked him what his type of woman is.”

There was a moment of silence before Todo walked out into the campus garden to make his way towards Mechamaru.

Mechamaru didn’t notice his presence as he was watering the flowers.

“Yo.”

“Todo. Did you need something?”

“What’s your type of woman?”

Caught off guard, Mechamaru dropped the watering can. “I… I think someone who’s kind and cheerful.” Someone who’s submissive.

“Like I guessed.” Todo held his chin between the knuckle of his forefinger and thumb as he hummed thoughtfully. “You’re as lifeless as your puppet.”

~~~

What did that suppose to mean?

Kokichi was just telling the truth.

Right?

~~~

Days passed until Friday came.

Kokichi talked to you almost every day and whenever he could. He seemed to enjoy your company more than he thought he would when the two of you first matched.

He woke up to your messages and went to sleep only after he texted you goodnight.

Today, he felt like his heart was going to jump out of his ribcage, he could hear his own pulse when it got too quiet and it was dead silent in his hideout… as always.

All he could think about was your date tomorrow. He had made sure to dress up Mechamaru nicely for the occasion and checked the weather report thrice so the date wouldn’t be ruined because of anything out of his control.

There was still something that made him extremely anxious. What if you didn’t like him? What if everything went terribly and you blocked his number?

He needed something to distract him from these negative thoughts.

Maru: Hey.

(username): maruuuu!!!! what r u doin??

Maru: Going to sleep soon, I think.

(username): without me (;

Maru: Never.

(username): i’m blushing

Maru: How are you?

(username): fine, i'm doing skincare tonight to get ready for our date!!

Maru: About that...

(username): ....

(username): are you going to cancel our date?

Maru: No! I’m just anxious about it.

(username): good cuz i’d block u

Maru: I don’t think you would.

(username): you don’t know me

Maru: Because you never told me about yourself.

(username): ^-^; haha yeah,,, so,,, what would you like to know?

Maru: Everything.

Without even noticing the passing time, Kokichi chatted with you until he couldn’t keep his eyes open anymore.

He learned everything about you. From the earliest memory, you could recall about your first interaction with a cursed spirit to your latest obsession with an online game about cute animals.

His eyelids were getting heavier, he texted you goodnight and how he was excited to meet you tomorrow.

When he closed his eyes, this time he managed to fall asleep.

~~~

You pressed your phone to your chest and kicked at your sheets. The excitement was eating you up, the butterflies in your stomach wouldn’t calm down either. All because of someone you met online a couple of days ago.

It wasn’t something new to you to meet up with people you met online but this felt a lot different.

Previous times, you had used different dating apps or social media websites to make friends but this was the first time you had used a dating website specifically for people who knew the existence of curses.

Jujutsu sorcerers often found it hard to find someone they could click with because of their field of work but this website had risen up to popularity from day one. Your old classmates from your jujutsu college wouldn’t shut up about it so you gave it a go after their insisting.

Maru was one of the first people you matched with on the website. In his profile, he had written about how he wanted to find someone he could be himself with and date them.

That’s why tomorrow, you had to be on your best behavior so he could be himself around you.

~~~

You were twenty minutes early.

It wasn’t your intention to arrive this early but whether it be the excitement to meet up with Maru or not wanting to make him wait if your train was late-

Wait, those were all connected.

Letting out a sigh, you checked your phone. Yep, still twenty minutes. Once you put it back in your purse, your eyes scouted around the station. There weren’t any empty spaces for you to sit so you were standing by a meeting point next to the maps, hoping Maru would see you.

Although you didn’t know what he looked like, you had put effort into how you looked today so you could impress him. Deep inside, you hoped he would take notice of your appearance and compliment you but some men were just too dense.

From the way he had started texting you, he gave you the impression that he was one of those stoic and dense men but as you started to get to know him better, he turned out to be quite a friendly person. Very talkative and caring.

You pressed a hand on your cheek, you were burning up. Geez, were you really blushing this much because of him?

When you told your friends about this date, they had told you not to have too many expectations about Maru. They believed you were being catfished but it wasn’t possible, you didn’t want to meet him because of his appearance after all.

“Um, excuse me-”

Startled, you lifted your head to stare at a… robot?

You stepped away from its way, thinking that you were standing in front of its charging station or something. How long had it been since you had gone out? Had robots already taken over? Or was this one of those public pranks?

The robot was staring at you even after you moved away.

“(username)?”

You lifted your gaze and looked at the robot with wide eyes. “M-M-Maru?”

It nodded, “Mechamaru.”

No, it wasn’t a robot. You could sense cursed energy oozing from it. More like a cursed doll. Nevertheless, you were speechless.

There was a long pause before you spoke. “Ah, I...” You looked around as if you were searching for an exit and anxiously clutching on your purse.

Great, you were going to make up an excuse and go away. Just like he thought you would.

“I thought I was going to meet you, not a puppet.”

“I’m here,” he said, static sizzling noise coming from him was like nails on a chalkboard. “I just can’t be physically here because of my condition.”

“You could’ve told me about it first… ahh, sorry.” You sounded more annoyed than you would have liked but quickly covered it up by bowing your head to greet him. “Nevermind, I’m (name).”

“Are we going to use real names?”

“Well, I’m not gonna call you Megaman.” There was a smile.

“Mechamaru,” he corrected. After a short silence, he added, “Kokichi.”

“Nice to meet you Kokichi, I hope we can get along well.” You bowed yet again.

“Why are you being so formal?”

“It’s cuz…” You pointed at him.

“What?”

“Well…” You used both hands to gesture his whole body.

“If you say it’s because I’m a robot or anything similar to that, I’ll go home.” He sounded serious, or maybe it was because of the static.

You pouted and leaned forward on your tiptoes, “If I can’t even joke around then I’ll go home.”

“I thought you were looking forward to our date.” When you blushed at his words he spoke again. “You look cuter than your pictures.”

“Ahh, you really think so?” You started walking and he followed after you.

“I do.” He was keeping a large space between the two of you, whenever you tried to walk closer to him, he would move away but now when you were caught in the station with the crowd who were going home after work hours, you had to stay close to him.

You were being pushed against Kokichi thanks to the crowd trying to walk out of the station and he didn’t complain about it. Kokichi didn’t look at you, he thought about the things he read on the internet instead.

‘If you want your date to consider you as manly, you have to invest yourself to talk to her.’

“Your dress looks cute.” Kokichi came up with ‘the compliment her outfit’ route, he had seen men flirt before, he could do it too.

He stared down for a moment to see your reaction.

Bingo!

You smiled brighter than the sun, you played with your hair to give him a playful answer. “Thank you, I wore this just for our date.” Your eyes shined with small sparkles in them. “I really like your collar.” You pointed at his face, not too close, hesitant to invade his personal space. I’m here with his puppet not him, you reminded yourself.

“Thanks.”

When the two of you finally exited the station, you walked alongside him.

“Where to?” He nonchalantly asked while you were looking around the streets.

“What about karaoke?” You gave him an inviting smile, “It’d be fun.”

“Whatever you say.” He wasn’t sure which way you were taking. There was the main street and Kyoto's red-light district, of course, he knew you wouldn’t be going there. “Which street are we going for?”

You pointed to your right, “The main street, there is a karaoke place I know.” Your smile altered when you noticed how this time when you walked together to cross the street, it was close, your shoulder touched his fake biceps.

“I’m not good at singing for obvious reasons.” Back in his bathtub, Kokichi said it in a joking manner but thanks to the cursed puppet, it sounded a lot as if he was annoyed about the idea of going into karaoke. He bit his tongue and cringed, waiting for your reaction.

“You can still try, can’t you?” You gave him the best puppy eyes you could. “For me?”

Kokichi blushed but you weren’t able to see it through Mechamaru. “Y-yeah.”

“Oh, I didn’t know robots could stutter.”

“I didn’t stutter and I’m not a robot. This is a cursed puppet and sometimes the commands I give are interrupted, that’s why I-”

“You’re so easy to tease just as I guessed!”

Kokichi covered his mouth with his hand, watching you giggle at him through his screen.

“Here it is.” Pointing at a sign, you grabbed his arm and dragged him with you.

While you were showing him the prices, he was busy staring down at your shirt. He could… he could see your cleavage.

“The menu says they serve alcohol at this hour! Ahh, the prices are cheaper than the last time too! We can share the tab-” You stopped yourself from talking. Silence brought him out of his trance. “Oops, sorry. You can’t eat or drink through Megaman, right?”

“Mechamaru,” he corrected. “No, I can’t… But it’s on me anyway.”

“You’ll pay?” Your eyes sparkled brighter than the stars. Your pouting lips and hand on his chest didn’t help.

Kokichi looked away, blushing. “Y-yeah.”

“Y-you’re the best!” Mocking his stuttering, you offered him a cute smile. Then you went on to drag him inside while telling him about how this place was the best karaoke place in Kyoto because they served desserts and your favorite cocktail. All the while renting a room for the two of you.

“Would you like to share with others?” The employee asked.

“No.” Your answer was instantaneous.

Behind the register, the employee stared at Kokichi and down at you. It was easy to tell he thought the two of you were a mismatch. “Your room is to the left, you can order through the smart tablet. Have fun.”

“Thanks,” you said before walking past the register. When Kokichi caught up with you, you turned around. “Did you see the way he stared? So lame!”

“Well, anyone would have stared if they saw a pretty girl next to a robot.”

“So, you’re accepting you’re a robot?” You grinned, opening the door to the private room.

“That’s not what I meant!” He didn’t know what he was expecting. From the way you texted, he should have known you were this childish and unable to have a serious conversation.

“Hmm?”

“Nothing.” He closed the door behind him as you were ordering as many drinks as you could. Once he noticed you were about to order the entire menu, he barely managed to stop you by taking the smart tablet away from your hands. “Hey, I’m not rich!”

“It’s cheap, trust me!” You pouted your lips again, reaching for the smart tablet he was holding above your head.

His stare found the menu and froze. It was cheaper than he had thought like you said. He had never been somewhere like this, nobody could blame him for it.

“Sorry, I didn’t notice,” he said as he handed the device back to you.

“I was showing you the menu earlier, you weren’t listening, were you?” Your smile widened, eyes squinting knowingly.

“I was listening! You’re talking way too much, I can’t keep up!”

You crossed your legs, continuing to add stuff to your order.

It got quiet.

Realizing what he had said was rude, he apologized.

“It doesn’t sound genuine.”

“It’s because I’m talking through a puppet.”

“Exactly.”

You weren’t looking at him. Putting the tablet aside, you leaned back on the soft cushions. The mood had changed. When you weren’t talking, it was too quiet.

Decidedly, he walked over to the karaoke machine and grabbed two microphones. He sat next to you, placing one of the microphones next to you as he reached for the tablet.

There were way too many songs in the system and he knew none of them.

Scrolling further, he found Takada-chan’s songs.

“You like Takada-chan?” you asked, noticing how he had stopped scrolling.

“No,” he replied. “My friend-” Was he really his friend? “My friend likes her, he won’t stop talking about her and all.”

“I like her,” you said. “I’ve been to her meet and greets many times but they’re always ruined by some buff dude who has the most tickets. He’s always at the events, kinda creepy but seems like he supports her. He once beat up some guy who insulted her.”

Kokichi didn’t say anything. He didn’t want that guy to be the icebreaker on his date.

“Creepy,” he uttered before putting the tablet on your lap. “You should sing, I don’t know any of these songs.”

“None of them?” You raised a brow.

“None.”

“You’re so boring,” you murmured, clicking on the first song you saw.

The loud music filled the room and his hideout. You tapped on the microphone, “Check, one, two. Kokichi is sooooo boring!”

Your laughter was the next thing that filled his hideout. He chuckled but it came out as a static noise through Mechamaru.

While you were singing, the same employee came with two trays full of drinks and snacks, he left them on the table before leaving immediately. None of you paid any mind as you were changing the lyrics to tease Kokichi.

“Are those really the lyrics?” he asked.

“Yep!”

Another giggle.

Too cute.

Very cute.

He watched you stop singing for a brief moment to chug down your third drink. Your cheeks were flushed red from the booze and your neck was sweaty, you kept fanning your hand towards your face.

His gaze focused on a particular sweat droplet on your neck and idly watched as it drizzled down to your cleavage before disappearing under the fabric of your dress.

Kokichi tried focusing on something else but he found himself unable to tear his eyes away from you. Every single thing you did was seductive. When you bit onto a small rice cake or the way your lips closed around the straw of your drink and how your cheeks hollowed when you tried sucking the last bits of your cocktail in your mouth.

The last drop had to be when you grabbed an ice cube from your drink and held it over the skin of your chest.

His hand pressed on his lower half. He was thankful he wasn’t physically there or he would have been labeled as a pervert. Under the soothing medical liquid, he had a problem you didn’t need to see.

You weren’t singing anymore but the music was playing nonetheless to suppress the silence as Kokichi was practically undressing you with his eyes.

“Heyyy, Kokichi~” you slurred, sitting closer to him. “You’re being too quiet!”

Taken aback, he spoke. “I’m not sure what to say?”

“Just talk…” you whined, putting a hand on his knee.

Oh, how he wished he could feel the warmth of your hand.

“Or better… Sing!” You held a microphone up to his face.

“I can’t sing,” he reminded.

“You said, you’d sing for meee~”

He blushed, taking the microphone from your hand. “I don’t know the lyrics.”

“It’s on the screen.”

Yes, the lyrics were on the screen.

He felt embarrassed, this was stupid. He wasn’t even actually in the room with you but he felt so nervous. His actual hands were shaking as he gulped.

When he started singing, you started laughing.

The static made it sound like he was an actual robot. Yet, Kokichi didn’t stop despite how tone-deaf his voice was coming through Mechamaru. He wanted to make sure you were having fun but the music stopped.

Both of you stared at the notification on the tablet, asking if you wanted to add another hour to your stay.

Had it already been an hour? Time was going fast when you two were having fun.

You looked at Kokichi.

He pressed to accept.

The music continued playing.

This time, Kokichi didn’t sing. The two of you started chatting about everything and anything until there was a lull in the conversation.

“Lemme see your hand,” you said, reaching your own towards him. He slowly placed his hand on your open one and you compared the size. “Wow, your hand is hugee, is your real hand this big?”

Funny, if not absurd. You were on a date with a puppet but you were getting turned on.

“It's the same size as my own hand.” His gaze dropped to his actual body. “At least one of them.”

“Can you feel that?” You intertwined your fingers with his.

“No.” He wasn’t looking and he didn’t need to look. The depressing realization that he was always going to watch people behind a screen and in this damn bathtub was starting to sink in once again.

“Can you feel this?” You were giggling.

“I told you, I can’t feel-” His breathing stopped at the sight of you pressing his hand on your breast.

“I wanna meet you, Kokichi~” Smiling enticingly, you sat closer to him. “It’s no fun when I can’t see if you’re blushing right now.” Your hand over his hand moved on your breast, the supple flesh jiggled under the front of your dress. “Are you blushing right now?”

“I am.” His answer was instant.

“You know,” you started, putting your free hand on his thigh and lifting your leg up on the cushion to face him. “I got all dressed up ‘cause I wanted you to lose your composure. You sounded so uptight and stoic. I wanted to see you lose it.” Tilting your head, you puckered your lips. “But you didn’t even come to our date.”

“I did.”

“Megaman did.”

“Mechamaru.”

“I wanted Kokichi to come.” You pulled his hand away from your breast and led it down to your stomach and even lower. “I wish you were here so you could feel how wet I am.”

“(name),” he said. “I can’t feel my fingers through Mechamaru.”

“Mm?” You placed his hand under the skirt of your dress. “But I can feel them.”

Kokichi’s actual hand started shaking in excitement as Mechamaru’s fingers brushed against your panties.

“Can’t I meet you?” Your voice was faint compared to the music but he heard it. “I wanna meet you.”

“You’ll be disappointed, I don’t look… normal.”

“You don’t look normal right now either.” Biting your lip, you moved against his hand. A soft gasp left your lips. “Yet, I’m so turned on right now.”

There were a thousand different thoughts invading his mind but Kokichi felt like he was hypnotized by your hips.

“Kokichiii, move your fingers,” you whined softly, your eyes hazy with lust.

“I need to see them,” he said. Back in his room, his own hand was pressing down on his growing erection. “Or I may move them wrong.”

“Pervert~” you teased, lifting the skirt of your dress up.

He didn’t say anything, instead focused his attention on your soaked panties. How long had you been this wet? From the moment you two rented the room or-

“Kokichi.” Your needy voice brought him out of his dirty thoughts. “You don’t have a cock under your pants, do you?” Your hand pressed against Mechamaru’s groin.

For the first time in his life, Kokichi felt his entire body jolt. Your vulgar way of asking was enough to get him rock hard. “No-”

“What a waste.” Sulking, you retrieved your hand. “But are you hard right now?”

“I… I am.”

A dangerous glint sparkled through your eyes. “If only you were here… I’d make you feel sooo good.”

Mechamaru’s fingers pressed against your clothed folds before moving along them. A soft moan left your lips and you balanced yourself on your hands.

“I look like a freak-”

“You keep saying that.” Your hips moved against his hand. “As if that matters to me.”

Mechamaru slid your panties to the side and spread your folds with two of his fingers, he carefully watched as wet strands connecting them together broke apart. Kokichi’s own hand was pumping his cock.

“What are you doing right now, Kokichi?”

“I’m putting a finger inside.” He inserted one of his fingers inside you.

“No, what are you really doing?” You bit your lip.

“I’m… I’m jerking off.”

Satisfied with his answer, you crossed a leg over his to settle on his lap with your back against his chest. Spreading your legs wider, you allowed him a better view of your wet pussy. Mechamaru’s digits slid inside as Kokichi moved his hand along the length of his cock.

Mechamaru’s other hand went to cup your breast over your shirt, making a moan escape your lips.

His fingers were reaching deeper than your own fingers ever could. The digits moved in a scissoring motion and curled against your gummy walls, pressing against the spot that made your vision blurry.

“Kokichi,” gasping, you squirmed on his lap, your back arched when his thumb grazed over your clit. “I wanna kiss you so bad.”

Kokichi’s hand tightened around the tip of his cock, he pulled the sensitive skin down to expose the pink tip and massaged it using his thumb. When his hand started moving along his cock again, the device helping him talk through Mechamaru picked up the clicking sound rather than the medical fluid splashing.

You moaned at the realization of what you were hearing.

The feeling of the metallic firm fingers stroking your clit made your hips buck against his hand. Your eyes roll to the back of your head, panting, you pressed your thighs together.

Mechamaru’s hand on your chest moved down on your thigh to hold you in place as his fingers inside your pussy started to vibrate. The sudden pleasure made you scream but the loud music concealed it.

Kokichi couldn’t breathe normally, his pulse had gone haywire as his hand was moving hastily around his cock while Mechamaru’s digits were messing you up.

“S-s-s-stop!” Your voice broke into a moan.

“Do you really want me to stop?” He barely managed to ask, his hand wouldn’t stop.

You shook your head rapidly, biting your lip.

Your walls clenched around the digits, sucking them in deeper. Kokichi’s own hand was moving faster than his heartbeat. His tongue lolled out of his mouth and his shoulders tensed.

He was close.

From the way you were shaking, he could say the same thing for you.

So, when Mechamaru pushed his digits further inside, the vibration got stronger and stronger until your legs shook. The pleasure that was building in your gut suddenly got released, shaking you to your core.

Kokichi followed suit, his cock spurted thick clumps of cum and they landed on his stomach, his bandages absorbed his seed.

By the time he caught his breath, he realized you were still on his lap.

Mechamaru had gone limp as he had gotten distracted because of his orgasm. He revived the cursed doll while you were trying to fix your dress.

You wanted to say something but you couldn’t find something to say.

To your rescue, the music stopped.

The tablet had the same notification from before. Informing you that the second hour had ended and if you wanted to rent the room for one more hour.

Kokichi leaned forward and pressed on the tablet to end the session.

“We’re leaving already?” you pouted your lips.

“You said you wanted to meet me.”

Kokichi watched as the brightest smile he had ever seen formed on your face.

After he paid the tab the two of you exited the building as he held you up with one hand because your legs weren’t functioning properly.

“The employee behind the register noticed your wobbly legs,” Kokichi said.

“You think so?” you whispered, cheeks and ears colored in bright red.

“He was looking, so, yes.”

“You kinda went overboard by using Megaman’s vibrator hands.” Your giggle filled his ears and he smiled to himself.

“It’s Mechamaru.”

#this was gonna be a dark one but my friend told me to rewrite it lmao #anywayyyy kokichi supremacy #mechamaru x reader #kokichi muta x reader

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thefanficmonster · 4 years ago

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Lucky Me (Sequel To Unlucky)

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: Fluff

Summary: You aren’t always born with luck. Sometimes, you meet people who bring it to you. In short, they are your lucky charm.

Requested: Yes, but not in a typical way. A big thank you to all the wonderful people who read, liked, reblogged and commented on part one - Unlucky.

@susceptible-but-siriusexual @simonsbluee @save-the-sky @hacker-ghost @itsminniekat @bi-andready-tocry @imtiredaffff @jazzkaurtheglorious @hereforbeebo @fandomgirl17 and many more ❤❤❤

They are the reason this story is being written. What was originally supposed to be an elaborate one-shot turned into the most liked piece I’ve ever written. I can’t thank you enough, guys. You are amazing and I hope you like this one just as much or even more than the previous. Love you ❤❤❤

Y/N’s POV

I’m grinning at my reflection in the mirror as I put on a pair of earrings. My face is already touched-up with a little make-up and my hair is looking on point. I can almost see my own reflection in the shine of excitement in my eyes. I take in my upper body via a quick once-over in the full body mirror opposite me, and I finally relax my muscles that I didn’t ever realize I was tensing.

“OK, now I’m ready.“ I say as a form of encouragement as I reach behind me for my phone that’s sitting on my bed.

You might be wondering where I’m going? Who I’m going with? What’s the occasion behind this many preparations and pampering?

The answer: Nowhere. No one. Nothing. I’m literally not even going to leave my house.

It might seem ridiculous to someone else, but to me, to my hypnotized mind, it’s perfectly reasonable to be getting so amped up over a FaceTime call. Yeah, you heard me correctly - a FaceTime call.

Well, you see, this isn’t the first time we FaceTime, but it will be the first time we’ll see each other’s faces. I wanted to level the field so I didn’t let him on to what I look like, where exactly I live, etc. Basically, he only knows my name, which I am still prepared to call unfair, considering I don’t know his real name.

A brief backstory to my first ever real interaction with Corpse: I was introduced to him by my friends. They are the ones I always turned to with all the scary shit happening in my life. Often times they didn’t know weather to comfort me or laugh at my curse. My friends suggested I start sharing it to a youtuber named Corpse Husband. You see, I love YouTube narrators and I’ve always been a fan of Mr. Nightmare and I, to be perfectly honest, always kept the idea of sending him my stories in the back of my mind. Nevertheless, I bit the bullet and checked out on of this Corpse Husband guy’s videos. And then another. And another. And before I knew it I was having a marathon after which I was too paranoid to get online, walk home alone at night, leave my curtains open etc. It wasn’t all thanks to the stories themselves. A lot of the fear factor these stories strike with should be credited to the way they are read. Let me tell you, this guy had it all figured out with the reading. Not sending him my stories would just be wrong. So I did, I sent him my first ever creepy encounter which was with a stalker from my high school and it took me only two days to forget about it. It only crossed my mind when my friends blew my phone up, demanding I watched Corpse’s new video. I kid you not, I got more scared by the story when he read it than when I lived it. That’s what settled it for me - I decided to send him each and every story.

And then one day, out of the blue, my life changed for the better in more ways than one. It got turned completely upside down, like a rollercoaster, and I just had to hold on and enjoy the ride, embrace the adrenaline rush and excitement, knowing full well that I chose to get on and there’s no way I can get off halfway through.

I’m being too metaphorical. He sent me an email. He freaking reached out to me. And I was posed with a rough choice. Took me a minute, but I chose to reply to him, I chose to trust him, and I couldn’t just leave him on read one day simply cause I chickened out. Yes, I’m unlucky and these things don’t happen to unlucky people. I mean, they do, but they are nightmares disguised as a dream come true. I’ve lived all my life cautiously: if something sounds too good to be true it’s either not as good as marketed or not true at all. If it’s dark and late and there are no people around, FaceTime someone. If your Uber driver’s sketchy, cancel the ride. I take all the precautions and I still find myself in the worst situations. Or at least...

My thoughts are interrupted by the ringing of my phone. A simple ringtone I hear every time he calls me. A simple sound that causes me butterflies when I hear it and ultimate devastation if the caller ID doesn’t read the name I want. It always gets me excited, probably more than it should. This time is different, however. It’s scary almost. I’m nervous, anxious, scared, hesitant - all things I never feel when I’m about to answer his call.

With shaky hands I pick up the call and find myself looking at the most beautiful person I’ve ever met. Now I know why I would have never initiated this meeting, because I know what color my face is right now. I know my voice has let me down before I even attempt to speak. I know I look like a mess. I know my obvious crush is showing.

Corpse initiated this meeting. He said he was getting too curious and he wanted one of his best friends to see him and for him to finally see her. It’s been about seven months since we first started texting and I haven’t let out a single peep about it to a single soul. It’s just between him and I. We are each other’s safe space away from the rest of the world.

“Thought you weren’t gonna pick up for a second there.“ His voice is not as confident as other times when we’ve talked. His trying to hide his own nervousness and all I wanna do is hug him and tell him he doesn’t have to. I kept telling him over and over again that we don’t have to do this if he’s not sure that he actually wants it. I even offered to show him what I look like, not expecting to see him in return but he declined, saying it was now his turn to even the field.

“I was in another room.“ I manage to say, my voice only shaking a little.

We spend a few moments just looking at each other. Admiring one another. For someone who prefers digital interaction, I am surprised to realize I wish he was actually standing in front of. I wish I could hug him. A long hug of comfort, mutual understanding and hidden feelings.

He lets out a short laugh, shaking his head which causes a few strands of hair to fall over his eyepatch, “I’m sorry...It’s just-...Fuck I’m stumbling.” He chuckles nervously, “I just...can’t believe you are real. You are a real person. And the most beautiful person I’ve seen. That’s corny, isn’t it.” He looks away from the screen, his face now a shade of red. “But I mean it. I’m embracing my corniness. You are beautiful, Y/N. Not that I’m flexing or anything, but I’m lucky to have met you.”

I laugh, feeling my eyes stinging from the tears that have suddenly formed. I don’t want to let them fall, but I don’t have much say in that. “Well, mister Corpse, I can’t begin to compare. I mean...that hair! I still cannot believe it’s you. You are not just a deep voice in my mind. You are....you are...”

“Everything you imagined and more?“ he jokes, making my whole body heat up. “I told you you could trust. I mean, if the hair doesn’t confirm I’m who I say I am, I don’t know what will.”

“Actually, I never tried to imagine what you looked like. I knew those visions...I knew they didn’t matter. Faces don’t matter to us, Corpse. I think you realize that.“

And just like that, all I’ve been keeping hidden is pouring out. I don’t try to stop it - you can’t stop a hurricane with bare hands.

“I never needed a face to imagine us. I always saw as talking on the phone, playing Among Us. Reading scary stories to each other on Discord. I never needed a face to imagine your company. To imagine what we could be...“ I trail off, letting the first tear slip down my cheek.

The most sincere look appears in his eyes, “Fuck, I wish I could hold your hand right now. Never mind, I wish I could hug you, Y/N. Hug you and not let go for a long time.”

I laugh halfheartedly, my chest burning from the intensity of this moment’s intimacy, “I can always tell you where I live.” I’m only half-joking. I really want to see him in real life, not just through a screen, but even this call is out of his comfort zone, let alone a physical meet up.

He surprises me yet again, “Saturday. I’ll bring the take out, you pick the movie.” he says with a smile that is literally saying ‘you didn’t see that coming, did you?’

“How are you sure I don’t live in a different state, or a different continent all together?“ I tease, making an attempt to put my composure back together.

He smirks, “I pay way more attention to your stories than you’d think.” I laugh, shaking my head as a pointless method of fighting the pesky tears that he has 100% noticed by this point. “By the way, just because we’re....” he thinks for a second, “in a weird zone between friendship and...something more, doesn’t mean you have to stop sending me stories. I absolutely love reading them for my audience. They love em too.”

I just realized I am yet to tell him the crazy miracle that has happened. “Well, the thing is...I don’t have any.” His eyebrows shoot up in shock which makes me laugh, “Yeah, I know, it’s crazy. Since the day we started talking I have not experienced a single scary thing. Deadass. I swear on my life.”

If I wasn’t so head over heels for this man already, the baffled expression on his face would definitely send me falling for him. He’s just that adorable. “Wow.”

“I know right.“ I nod, “Seems to me you have enough luck to share with me.“

His eyes light up at that comment, showing just how meaning full it is to him.

“You’re my lucky charm, Corpse.“

“I will never be more proud of any other title, Y/N. That I can promise you with no hesitation.“

“Deadass?“

“Deadass.“

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petalsmooth · 3 years ago

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Ok.

Let’s talk Lili.

First off we only know what stars put out about themselves or other people say about them. We are not friends with these people. We are not in their homes. We don’t usually hear what they say in unguarded conversation. What we know is what is out on social media with some highly distorted soundbites from chats or DM’s with her mother that were exposed.

We were initially presented a portrait pushed by her and her family no less of a middle class family with the standard girl next door hit it big narrative. Down to earth, relatable, somewhat quirky. Strong two parent supportive household. All that was missing were the apron and pearls.

This girl came out of the gates talking about a modernized Riverdale with two girls who would be actually close and not vying for the same redhead. Feel free to add/or correct along the way of course...especially early on when not following as closely.

We got very little in the way of insight into Cole and Lili because they were trying to keep it quiet even if there were hints together. Mostly during this period what fans were fed was that she was slightly awkward socially, maybe not the most intellectual but nice and harmless. She spoke of empowering women, independence, she constantly shut down the idea of Barchie and praised Bughead. Along through the year’s she would speak to social bullying or bullying in general. She would openly talk about struggles with mental health. She’d talk and show her cystic acne and share photos not all airbrushed in ode to body positivity. She’d talk about not having an hourglass figure, and cellulite and often go out in ratty shorts and a bun sans makeup. You see she’d talk about it then follow through by showing lived the walk or calling out photoshops done of her.

Again this is “relatable girl next door quirky Lili” we told was the REAL Lili.

She would frequently talk and post about her family and dogs at home and how much she loved and missed them...though oddly not so much her older sister.

At a certain point it became undeniable Cole and Lili were together to even the hardest deniers. Of course also the Met gala eventually made official for media.

We get have her liking posts such as Miley’s about how lucky she was to have a man who checked off all the boxes. But at times there were glimpses all wasn’t kosher. People have mentioned various cons where she’d be caught flirting somewhere else, or she’d be in a bad mood giving Cole a cold shoulder. We recently saw an old video of them walking and her basically demanding he drop the fans and attend her. We have the con were Camilla is sexually harassing Cole everywhere and Lili doesn’t shut it down until Camilla tries to grind on him. It was so bad even Mads intervened. We have the interview where she is talking over him or rolling her eyes and basically being the unprofessional brat her fans claim she is not. Even though it’s ON CAMERA. Snapping at your co worker/boyfriend and rolling your eyes during a professional interview is not deniable.

Flashforward to the trip to Italy because for me there was always something off about that. That trip was obviously planned far in advance. Clearly Lili was supposed to be there. Her fans quickly blamed Cole because Lili was working. Lili didn’t have to work. It wasn’t a career changing move to do that film. It did not do well. I’m not entirely sure what was happening around that time but I have the sense Cole was disappointed/a little angry she prioritized it over him accepting very likely the offer AFTER the trip was planned.

Lili spirals during this time. Cole comes back to clean up mess. They are quiet on social media for a long time then slowly emerge again and eventually get the photo booth shots, the wedding and her mingling with NY friends for once. Turns out close to the end for them.

I don’t want to make this a Sprousehart post though although some relevance to bring part of it up. The point is Lili put her career over her relationship. It was a calculated decision. It was also the wrong decision. Her fans talk about her being this warm giving person but that was a cynical call and a pretty lousy thing to do to your boyfriend of several year’s. I’m all for supportive partners but there are time’s where you make sacrifices if you really care for someone and this was a special trip planned long in advance. She blew it off. If I’m the partner she does this too, I question why I’m putting in the effort if it doesn’t mean to them what it means to me.

TBH I think the bad choices she made there is why tried to make it up by meeting with his friends, the wedding etc...

Something than clearly happened because by January they were done. Not sure we’ll ever know but it looked like they were trying to fix things given the happiness hadn’t seen on Cole’s faces in a long time in those booth pics and then...it was done. We didn’t know at the time, but this is timeline Cole gave. There was a brief attempt at reconciliation where she babysits him at a photo shoot and posts a photo of them in bed and then shortly after...Cole calls it off.

He heads to LA, she follows him there but not without making sure to shove Casey’s face into her chest to post and rent a place close to where he is staying. She posts weepy messages about the world ending etc....and weird new photos mimicking old shoots with him so naturally people think this means whatever happened they worked through. Around same time she and hers manipulated her fans to try to cancel him earlier because she misunderstood a picture of Kaia....although flat out if he had been with Kaia he was SINGLE and it was no longer her business.

She tries to walk back the firestorm she unleashed on him by “defending” him from a lesser twitter trend after realizing misconstrued the Kaia picture, All summer she weirdly seems to be trying to avoid the topic if they are together or not despite saying once if they weren’t she’d tell people. She finally puts her foot in her mouth one two many times' and Cole confirms they broke up which she doesn’t acknowledge. Because she doesn’t want to be broken up.

As we know know it wasn’t all rainbows on the set even before all this happened as in the musical she’d launched an object at him hard enough to have the crew concerned. Lili fans keep saying Cole is abusive but the only evidence we have of abuse is her towards him. We also had her suddenly doing a 180 from past 4 year’s and excusing cheating with Archie and promoting everyone in her live recaps except Cole/Jughead.

Back to the events following Cole’s post....then we get a sudden string of interviews taking shots at Cole, doxxing him, implying he could have strayed (just to resurrect hate against him) but can’t say he actually did because she has no proof. We know this because in those chats admit it was just suspicion and paranoia and never did have any names.

We learn that Lili has been funneling news and gossip and photos to keep her mother’s hold on the fandom in check and her mother in turn has been bullying people who would stand on Cole’s side. They sought to ruin him. This is not debatable.

For year’s people had made fun and called Bree out for being an obsessive stalker unable to let a relationship go, then Lili starts doing the same. We know she has tried to copy Ari’s style, her mother made a snide comment about breast size, Lili tried to taunt Ari from on set and Ari shut her down. A girl who almost never was in the line of sight of paps suddenly is snapped everyday following break up even before the public new. That doesn’t just happen. She wanted the attention.

I’m not going to go into all of it, you all know it. Suffice to say revealing she has a bitter vindictive attitude she has submersed herself in ever since Cole made it clear no reunion. She won’t even broach the topic of Bughead/Jughead unless forced. You can spin all you like but the split screens was not an artistic choice by RD. It was spurred by need to keep them apart.

Lili last summer was doing precious little other than a post or two of Black Lives matter and then when Cole gets arrested suddenly she jumps on the me too and sets up impulsive lives. Maybe she meant well but a part of me thinks she did it to attract his attention. Notice once she got praise for it and the initial protests faded she more or less doesn’t bring it up anymore. Cole never intended to get attention, it just happened because he’s a star and got taken in to a jail cell. He never put himself on camera for notice.

Lili also co-opts the murder of a girl to flaunt she thinks she looks good naked. Completely tone deaf.

Lili very rarely is seen in fan photos, only usually when she’s getting flack for it online. She, a girl who talks about bullying, went on a midnight tirade against a guy who dares to critique or poetry setting her fans on him. Then deleted it probably because publicist in her ear.

She first said poems not about Cole, than said you could read into what you wanted to sell them. Now she doesn’t want to talk poetry or sequels because it flopped and was critically panned.

There are constant rumors about Lili on sets of productions to point they even had someone on her newer movie try to downplay. Yet we see in a video the cast barely talking and looking tense on a boat.

The girl who used to talk about body positivity now lets them airbrush abs onto her.

The girl who used to talk of therapy and mental illness now promotes OTC supplements for $ and cults.

If she mentions cellulite she uses other tik toks of people showing not her own.

She said she would never be on tik tok, yet now has her own and post old videos that aren’t funny.

Lili once tired to attack Cole by talking about losing yourself in drugs or alcohol or sex yet we’ve seen her drug paraphernalia because she advertises. Her friends post and laugh over her being drunk. She was in an off and on relationship with Wallis that doesn’t seem to be about anything but sex.

We were told Coles friends are bad influences but Taylor is out there solicitating questionable clients and making videos slamming LILI’S COWORKER as a bad actor and his brother,

The majority of Lili’s posts no longer feature Sunny or her family/Addy.

She insulted Vancouver, compared to a prison, and made it clear her creature comforts were of more importance than a pandemic. Not quite the attitude of an empath. Which she claims she is with intention to be a master which require sucking more gullible people into the cult.

She brags about being a “rich man” without understand the context. She went from artistic photos to modeling pinups to fuel her lack of self esteem.

She’s in her mid 20′s, claims she had grown and matured in the last year but there is no evidence of it. Still can’t work with her ex without buffers which still influences show direction though her fans deny.. Still lives off junk food and hangovers. Those glasses aren’t just for sun. Her timeline is mostly an ode to her vanity with pictures of herself and then her dog. She doesn’t seem to have any causes she’s deeply involved in on the side apart from her cult. She’s still stalking Cole as her impulsive makeup tutorial showed. She said she cut out of her life anyone who doesn’t service her. I highly doubt she is receiving quality therapy on the regular right now. She still does not seem to possess the ability to own her mistakes and apologize when warranted, rather deflects or erases when heat becomes too hot.

The content she puts out about herself post break up is very different than the bill of goods fans were sold before. She is a far cry from that quirky girl next door that stood FOR something more than vanity and shallow affirmation. So no, I don’t see what you see in her stans. Everything that once seemed to distinguish her from other spoilt princesses has long faded.

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onlyfreds · 4 years ago

Text

Distraction | F.W.

Title: Distraction

Requested: Yes/No

Summary: When Y/N becomes too bored during her online class, Fred becomes her distraction.

“Can’t you just call in sick?” Fred whined as he jutted out his bottom lip.

I playfully rolled my eyes at him, “I can’t Freddie. Besides, don’t you have a physics webinar or something?”

“They cancelled it.” He said, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

The two of us were currently in my college dorm, Fred had knocked on the door an hour ago. Wanting to go for a walk on a park and have a mini date. Normally, I would have agreed but, unfortunately, I still have philosophy class on my schedule.

Fred wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me on to his lap as he sat down on the edge of my bed, “I miss you.” He mumbled into my sweater (which was technically his).

I giggled, running a hand through his tousled hair, “Freddie, you literally live right across my dorm.”

He whined, “But, I still miss you.”

He then looked up at me with big doe eyes, “Can you just skip class this once. Please.”

As soon as he did that, I knew I was a goner. I was having an internal battle wherein my rebellious side argued that I would only skip class this once and I had to admit, I missed my boyfriend too. But, the mature side of me, argued that I had to attend this class because I might miss a very important lesson and that the date could wait after class.

Was making a simple yes or no decision supposed to be this hard?

Instead of waiting for my answer, Fred pulled me in for a kiss, which hurriedly turned into a steamy makeout session.

“Freddie.” I moaned as he proceeded to attack my neck with open-mouth kisses, gently sucking and biting on my sweet spot. “I have to attend this class. But look on the bright side, this is my last class of the day.”

He didn’t stop, “I wanna stay here with you and have some fun.”

I bit my lip to suppress another moan, “Fred.” I said, pushing him away gently, “I have to go. Class starts in five minutes.”

He pulled away, frowning slightly, “Are you sure that you can’t just skip it?”

I shook my head, “I can’t. If you want, you can stay here and wait for me. And then, once class is over, you have my full attention.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

I then got off his lap and sat down by my desk, immediately getting accepted on the call. While Fred, on the other hand, took off his glasses and replaced them with his contacts.

While waiting for the others to join the zoom call, I couldn’t help but stare at Fred’s hands as he wiped the smudge off his glasses using the hem of his shirt.

“Distracting you already love?” He asked a cheeky smirk gracing his features.

“Oh, shut up.” I chastised, throwing a balled-up paper from my desk at him.

A few minutes later, our class suddenly started. After taking attendance, our professor started to drone about Aristotle and his teachings.

I took a sip from the tumbler next to me, feeling as if I could fall asleep at any moment.

Fred stepped forward, placing his hands on my shoulders as he massaged gently, “Getting tired love?” He teased.

I closed my eyes, throwing my head back a bit, “Just like that Freddie. Gosh, you’re so good at this.”

He chuckled, pecking a kiss on my cheek, “You just look so stressed.”

“I don’t even know why I took philosophy as an extra-credit class in the first place.” I said with a small laugh.

I suddenly heard the professor calling my name, “Ms. L/N?”

I immediately pushed Fred’s hands off my shoulders, turning on my microphone, “Yes professor?”

“Can you turn on your camera and answer the question: What is Aristotle best known for?” He said.

After shooing Fred away from the view of the camera, I turned it on and answered, “Aristotle invented the field of formal logic and he identified the various scientific disciplines.”

“Very good Ms. L/N.” Our Professor complimented, before returning to his presentation.

I could see Fred was trying hard not to laugh.

“Shut up you idiot.” I said, throwing another balled-up piece of paper at him, “This is all your fault.”

I glanced at the clock, I still had to suffer two more hours before I could be free and go on a date with Fred.

“You know, a few more minutes and I bet that you’ll just fall asleep there.” Fred said with a small chuckle as he flipped through the pages of one of my textbooks.

I softly groaned, resting my cheek on my palm while my elbow was placed on the desk. “I would be so thankful if the internet was suddenly cut off right now.”

“That wouldn’t be such a bad idea at all.” Fred mused.

Not even a minute has passed, before I heard a small beep and then I was suddenly dropped from the call.

I tried to reconnect, but it kept on saying that I lost my internet connection.

I looked around the room, not seeing my boyfriend anywhere.

I got up, running into Fred as I headed towards the living room to check on the router.

“You’re out early.” He said, a smile growing on his lips as a mischievous glint sparking in his eyes.

“Fred, what did you do to the internet?” I asked, crossing my arms over my chest as I leaned back on the doorframe.

He pretended to not know anything about it, “What do you mean? You got disconnected from the call?” He asked in a tone that got nobody fooled.

“Fred.” I said, trying to peak over his shoulder which was impossible due to his height.

“Y/N.” He said in the same tone as I raised a brow at him.

“Fine.” He said with a small sigh, “I may or may not have unplugged the router so you would, temporarily, not have internet.”

I smiled, wrapping my arms around his torso, resting my head on his chest, “Thank you so much! You’re my savior.”

Fred chuckled, “Well, I just thought that you needed a little distraction. Now, about that date?”

I pulled away from him, taking out my phone, “I’ll just let my professor know that I ‘lost my internet connection’ and I won’t be able to return to class anytime soon.”

After I sent the message, Fred and I went on our way.

“Ah, this is the life.” Fred said with a satisfied sigh as we sat on a park bench watching the sunset.

I smiled, gazing up at him adoringly, “Thank you for being my distraction.”

He pulled me closer to him, ‘I’d do anything for you sweetheart.”

As the sun painted the sky bright orange and a shade of red, Fred pulled me in for a kiss, despite dating for years, it still felt like the first.

Messy but passionate and sweet. And thousands of fireworks exploding inside of us.

𝚃𝚊𝚐𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝:

@lumosandnoxwriting @gostupid-godumb @famdomhideout @nova-darling @gaycatlord-stuff @pandaxnienke @escapingrealitybyreading (If you are crossed out, that means I can’t tag you)

#fredweasley #fred weasley fanfiction #fredweasleyimagines #fredweasleyfanfic #fred weasley fluff #fredweasleyoneshots #fredweasleysmut #fred weasley angst #fred weasley x reader #fred weasley x y/n #fred weasley x you #muggle!au #college!au #onlineclass

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kookie-doughs · 4 years ago

Text

Beta Tester

Kozume Kenma X Reader

-YN LN is a popular mangaka

Chapter 16: Stage

Seeing you running towards him made Kenma frown.

"Kenma!" You waved. "Thank you for not leaving yet!"

Ignoring you he continued to walk towards the direction of the stage.

You pouted and crossed your arms. "You know... As sorry as I am for that kiss I really don't regret it."

Jogging up in front of him with a shit eating grin, you positioned yourself in front of him where he'd have no choice but to look at you while you looked at him. His ears were slightly red without a doubt but who were you kidding yours were too.

Kenma cleared his throat, "Good for you then. Now get out of the way so I could get out of here. "

"And honestly I liked that kiss." You continued determined to see him flustered again. "Your lips were soft and I bet my ass you're a great kisser. I rate you 10/10 would do it again."

With a glare he looked at you straight in the eyes, "So do it pussy." Then went ahead before you could see the red settling on his face.

"I- Wh- Excuse me- Wh- Huh? K-Ken- Kenma!!" You squeaked as you chased after him.

"I said what I said."

You finally caught up to him when he was about to climb the stairs towards the stage. Luckily(?) you also have to go up with him.

"Ehh... Where's the flustered Kenma? I wanted to see you all blushy and panicked. You looked so adorable. I don't want hot daddy Dom Kenma. I want cute baby sub Kenma..."

As he was halfway up the stairs your height gap grew and he was way over you. He just looked down on you, leaning closer the gap barely existent he smirked.

"Too bad." Then turned away.

There were a handful of people who saw the scene. Which made you more embarrassed. Holy shit you acted all alpha online only to be dominated by a hermit named Kozume Kenma.

Boy were you happy. You'd happily submit to him.

"Let us all welcome the two people who made the game possible! YN LN and Kozume Kenma!!"

You might be confused why you two were the ones going and why you were introduced like that.

As you are the creator of Puri-Puri you of course are the reason why this game existed.

But Kenma came here as he's the biggest investor, the face of the game and no one else wanted to go. So yeah...

As you two came up the stage you were just wishing the blush from the scene a few moments ago. The cameras flashed and claps were heard.

"Shit the media is here..." You mumbled.

"Your surprised, why?" Kenma gave you an amused and disappointed look. No idea how he managed to do that but he did.

"Shut the fuck up. I just got a feeling the questions won't be about the game thanks to the media."

"So you do think sometimes..."

"You want me to hit you?"

A clearing of throat behind you stopped your argument. It was Akaashi handing you both microphones to be clipped on you [I'm sorry I dont know what they're called] .

"Good luck, don't do and say anything stupid. And remember this is the release of PPM's demo." He reminded and got off the stage.

"Good evening to you all! I hope you've been having a great time!" I started.

"We'd like to thank you again for attending the release of PPM's demo."

"Now of course the game is yet to be played but from the trailer that was shown, I hope you had enjoyed it since the game is going to be much better than the trailer!"

"I'm sure you all must've questions as well. That's why Me and your idi-- dear author will answer."

"You definitely were about to call me idiot." You frowned at him.

He smirked and shrugged. "I have not a slightest idea what you mean."

"You're the worst."

Ignoring you... Again. He motioned at one of the reporters to probably ask their question.

"Ms. LN, as the initial plot of the Puri-Puri Magika is about [REDACTED], and the trailer we saw have quite a large difference from one another only having the universe in similarty. Is it just the universe of the similar one to the manga? "

"Of course the plot would be different. It disappoints me quite a bit that none of you realized how they're connected aside from the universe. Well, I don't really want to spoil you but if you actually read the Manga and saw the trailer," You gave a proud smirk. "Everyone that was a fan of PPM in the team were ecstatic. They were all just-" You mimicked a mind blown. "They were so excited about the game and a those."

"Thank you Ms. LN."

"Next please."

"Mr. Kozume," the next one called. "You were neither a fan of YN, nor PPM, why did you decide to not only beta test the game but sponsor and invest big sum of money on the game."

"We--"

"No wait ! I want to answer some of those questions!" You cut off cackling. "The one about him investing and him beta testing! It's actually an annoying and Hella funny story."

"No I was a--"

"Shut up you'll probably lie."

"Shut up." Kenma now had his ears red. "Don't you--"

"He was the biggest asshole back then!"

"Stop talking."

"He fucking beta tested despite not knowing shit about PPM because it was the biggest game. And he just banwagoned on it like a bitch he was."

"I did not. I had some clues about you Manga."

"You did not know shit about PPM cut yo bullshit. You didn't even know who the MC was!"

"Shut up."

"That's why he beta tested! Now the reason why he invested is really hilarious!"

"I really hate this story..."

"This was the reason why Kenma became Bae too! We didn't know shit about how to contact Kenma, we only had his email address and his social media. Keep that in mind. "

"So since he didn't know shit about PPM he really couldn't care about the plot and just looked for bugs and shit. He wasn't even aware of the bugs in the plot since he didn't know which what was supposed to be part of the plot and not. This bitch ass decided there wasn't any bugs anymore so we went with that. But then we had to play it and saw a shit ton of bugs."

"I said there were some bugs don't make me seems so stupid."

"You didn't even inform us about the glitch at the time skip part! That could've ruined the entire thing! Anywayz, so we had to code the game again. So we emailed him that there were way too many bugs other than what he told us so the next testing would be later. But the asshole never replied. And since I was the one entasked to guide this bitch ass, I had to flood his email! And he didn't respond! Not once! It had been DAYS! I send him at least 20 emails everyday! I have up on the 3-4th day and DMed him on Twitter."

"I really hate this part."

"No. No. This is the best part. Do y'all remember that one trending #KodzuGone started by Tenma? It's because, this asshole never responded to our emails so I DMed him all the shit important shit in the emails. Then this bitch fucking blocked me! I fucking rante to Tenma and he canceled Kenma like he deserved to! I was panicking about it since Mr. Suzumiya told me that Kenma could be a potential investor if he wanted. And I needed cash... "

"Do not call me that publicly. You are disgusting."

"He went full sugar daddy on me!" You cackled. "His entire squad had betrayed him! They were canceling him so he just fucking slid into my DMs apologizing about the shit he did and I told him, bitch I'm coming over there and see you play this fucking game or I will not stop this canceling and make it worse. So he was forced to telll me his address and I'm not sure if yall saw the live but it was hot shit. The next day he bought all the copies of PPM at this one store and gave them to me and then he invested shit ton of money on my on going works, bought me a new tablet, paid my Keiji bills, and many other shit. Yall would die to have him as sugar daddy I'm telling you. Ya don't even have to give him sugar for the treats. "

"That was the biggest mistake I made."

"Awwe, but thanks to that we're closer than ever. "

"Exactly my point."

"Thank you for answering Ms. LN."

"I hate you so much." Kenma sighed pinching the bridge of his nose.

"No you don't. Admit it you love me."

"I really don't. Next question please."

"A-Ah, my initial question was actually answered in the previous question. It about your live. Now my question is, Ms LN and Mr. Kozume, is your relationship really a platonic one or a romantic one? "

"Okay, babe," You chuckled. "my man won't even let me breathe the same air he does. Ya think we're dating?"

"Well your right."

"What?"

"Excuse me?"

"Huh?! " You exclaimed a little louder than you thought since the mic made a loud noise.

"The relationship we have is both platonic and romantic. As labels aren't placed we share a romantic relationship." Kenma smirked.

You looked at him and the crowd with a clear eminent blush. "I-I I- Wh-"

Pulling you closer to him and turning around so the crowd won't see you both. He lowered the mic to prevent them from hearing.

"I wanted to see you all blushy and panicked . You look adorable." He whispered to your ear before facing the crowd again who were now going crazy over what Kenma had just confirmed.

"Y-You're an asshole..."

"Yeah, an asshole who..." lowering his mic again he leaned to your ear. "Still has your favorite onsie at his place. You really shouldn't have left it at my place. I'm so tempted to burn it."

"You leave my onsie alone! I will drown your consoles."

"With that threat, you're suddenly stripped of your house visit privileges."

"W-Why would you say we're dating?!"

"I didn't. I just said we both share a romantic and platonic relationship with no labels. I technically didn't lie too."

"Why did you do this?"

"Aside from wanting to see you all flustered? I'm probably drunk." Kenma smiled and turned to the crowd again. "Next question please."

Previous | Masterlist | Next

I'm sorry lately there's been to many words and less pictures it's just that... Idk

Lol I'm sorry this was supposed to be smau but there's been too many words

Ooc Kenma is shit so I made him drunk

-kookie-doughs

Taglist?

@gayer-than-the-gayest-gay @synx-ed @normalisthenewnorm @0majuh0 @leachann @nikanikabitch @almondeupeach @immxnty @mer-majesty @yamayoomi @simpingoveranime-men @lostmarimoismyhubby @mariishat @just-snog-already

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!!#haikyuu-smau #hq smau #hq #x reader #haikyuu smau #hq!!#smau #kozume kenma #kenma smau #haikyuu kenma #kenma x reader #X reader

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