#OK so i drew the first one a while ago and never posted it and then episode 14 happened :(((

[zakurincho]

We'll be together forever, won't we?

[withered--s0uls]

OKAY, I think I'm done for now.

@electrozeistyking and I a little while ago talked about how GD!N would react to DAS!Cyn. They went on about in a reblog but basically he would be extremely happy bc DAS!Cyn is a separate entity to the Absolute Solver, therefore meaning she's not the one behind everything.

So at first they probably both would be extremely happy. DAS!Cyn in her own AU upon meeting N first is absolutely terrified that he might hate her after everything the AS made her do. So the fact GD!N would react very positively to her presence would be a huge a relief to her.

Now, the issue is that the "Dormant" in "Dormant" Absolute Solver is in quotations for a reason. It simply lost interest in her as a main host / had no need for her anymore. It still has admin rights over DAS!Cyn and she still has a Solver Form. Though she doesn't use it by choice bc of PTSD triggers (until possibly a specific point in Ep7 but I'm waiting for ep8 to decide).

So yeah I think that would make both GD!N and DAS!Cyn kinda anxious to put it lightly.

(More Art and stuff under cut because this crossover has been living RENT FREE IN MY HEAD)

Also fun fact

@electrozeistyking has mentioned and shown Beanie finding comfort in the sound of her fathers core.

Well funny story.

DAS!Cyn always was comforted by her brothers core back at the manor, when they first reuite at the start of Ep6 and she sees DAS!Uzi summon her Solver wings and tail, her instinct is pressing closer to DAS!Ns chest for comfort. Her memories of the Solver features are very very blurry, but she is triggered by seeing them regardless.

I thought It was cute the girls have that in common, so I decided to draw them and GD!N sleeping with the girls having their heads close to his core :3

OKAY FINALLY WE GET TO THE DOODLE PAGE

I didn't feel like fully making these so they're sketchy doodles :"

The first two are based on Zeisty saying GD!N would probably pick DAS!Cyn up and spin her around. Also you probably noticed between this doodle, the first drawing & the Tiny!N & DAS crossover post, but DAS!Cyn displays flowers on her visor to emote happiness!

The 3rd and 4th are just random interactions between the kiddos lol. I feel like Beanie probably would be happy to have another Auntie, not to mention one closer to her age so they can do silly kid stuff together. DAS!Cyn... oh boy

She would feel a whole range of emotions; grief about missing so much of her brothers life (like he has a kid ffs), guilt and self blame after finding out what happened to Uzi (she blames herself for everything the AS caused, even tho she never agreed to it) which might end up in a "slight" breakdown, anger at the AS for causing GD!N that kind of pain and eventually once she processed all those emotions she probably would be excited to get to know Beanie. Like!! Imagine finding out you have a little Niece!!

She probably would struggle to easily keep up with Beanie bc she still has motor issues like in canonverse so she's a little slower, so it'd be mostly her trying not to fall over her own feet whilst being dragged around by an excited toddler who probably even with child lock is stronger than her lmao.

Also I drew DAS!Cyn in an alternate outfit bc I wanted to actually kinda show the oil reserve canister,,,

Ok wanting to respond to the hashtags specifically bc :)) yay

Also ig this is some DAS lore fact drops lol

Yeah, DAS!Cyn kinda didn't take it well either when she first realized the AS technically can still take over if it really wanted to after she transferred bodies in an attempt to escape. Imagine getting your core nearly crushed in an attempt to flee from robo satan just to find out entity STILL can use you for their bidding. Like!!! Damn that's not fair the kid nearly fucking died trying to break free!!!

DAS!Cyn definitely would want to spare Beanie the horrors too. DAS!Cyn herself is mentally like 7-10/11 at best 6-9 at worst -- despite kids usually just saying whatever comes to mind, she repressed most AS related stuff for a reason, she definitely wouldn't share what she knows with her newfound niece

I feel things would be either super great and happy or super traumatizing depending on when in the timeline we throw DAS!Cyn at them. If she's there during ep 6-7? Oh boy. Oh no. DAS!Cyn & DAS!N have an exchange during Ep7 that would not go over so well if it was GD!N in DAS!Ns place, because it would be awfully similar to GD!Uzis death -- she doesn't die, because DAS!N can't get himself to shoot with her being so close to the AS, despite her literally shouting at him to do it and that she won't be angry, that'll be fine. -- yeah I don't think GD!N would handle that well 😭 Zeisty feel free to get the angst train rolling if you wanna add your two cents on how that'd go over -- any point before that? Probably fine. Post S1? I'd imagine also fine depending on what Ep8 throws at us (except like... look at ideas list for more info*)

I'll assume that'd be Beanie reacting to seeing DAS!Cyn having the Solver tail and possibly the glitching Solver symbol in her visor. Yeah she definitely would try to play it off and go try and hide somewhere until she can get it under control again. High stress or negative emotions causes her Solver to act up (unrelated to the AS, just her own Solver form without the entity controlling anything!!) So what I said above to her reaction to the news of GD!Uzi being dead? And possibly finding out the reason why? Yeah that might trigger her tail and wings to pop out and her to basically be reduced to a hyperventilating ball on the floor because of proceeding to blame herself for all of GD!Ns suffering due to thinking the AS actions & it being a danger are her fault

Other things I kinda wanted to doodle but didn't for now, might do at a later point;

Cyn still has a Solver Core, which is the same as a DD core (except smaller lol). So I was playing with the idea of Beanie noticing that her core sounds different from GD!Ns due to hers being severely damaged and actively leaking after the AS attempted to crush it during the body transfer. DAS!Cyn then trying to play it off

Some kind of acknowledgement of the Oil reserve canister on DAS!Cyns back, it was made by Tessa before the AS did the medurder and stuff. It's supposed to help keep the Solver in check by preventing overheating, hence why its directly connected to her chest where her core is

There was something else but it slipped my mind

Smth I'm not gonna say publicly for now until Zeisty posts something about it and/or eventually posts the chapters bc I don't want to spoil esp not bc it isn't my place to :" (if you're curious, Zeisty, lmk I can tell you in VC or DMs lol) but it partly would possibly be related to the 1st idea listed

* I have an idea for what happens to Cyns original body (the one the AS uses & that wears Tessa) post Ep8 IF Ep8 let's me do it that is. I think it could be fun to crossover that idea bc of GD!Ns ghost sight.... tho it definitely also would be fucking stressful and trauma inducing bc Solver stuff sooo yeah rip (again, if you want I could elaborate in vc or DMs on this bc I want to first wait and see what the season finale brings before I do anything "official" with this)

GD!N reacting to the information that DAS!Cyn canonly shot "Tessas" gun at the AS (well technically at its tentacles. Point being that kid fired a gun/knows how to use one) -- which again could be very interesting if we were to toss them into the same Ep7 bc that's when she does it

Possibly GD!N finding out ab the scars/cracks surrounding DAS!Cyns core bc,,, yeah

Anyways uuuhh heightbsheet bc I'm 99% sure I drew stuff inaccurate

These were actually so fun to draw and think & talk about. I'll post the GD x IC crossover once I'm done with that (yes, yes there is more than what you already saw Zeisty. Not much more but more nonetheless)

[bluishfrog]

HAPPY 1-YEAR OF DRAWING ANNIVERSARY TO ME!

(Warning: slightly longer post incoming cause sometimes I gotta be a sentimental bitch ok? So let's go on a little trip down memory lane.)

This day, a year ago, I made my very first fanart. It was dnf (if that surprises you, then welcome to being on my blog for the very first time). I drew a little frog face too so I could use it as a watermark (fun fact: I still use that very same first one).

I immediately put my drawing up on twt because I told myself that I wasn't gonna be afraid of having people see that I was at the very beginning of this journey and had no clue what I was doing. That instead of being bad at art, I was gonna be awesome at being a beginner who doesn't know shit.

I started with little doodles and silly comics and then I laughed way too long when the first drawing of mine that gained some attention was a dnf butt joke. At the time I was trying to balance shipping and non-shipping art so I didn't even draw dnf that much but in hindsight it's probably the only possible way this could have gone.

At the very end of August I woke up to @honelle56 caps-locking at me in my messages - I was very confused and tired (I am no morning person and I will never be, fuck off with your mornings) because Dranart liked my drawing of singing Dream. Dranart was my 17th follower on twt which is a useless yet extremely funny fact about my time on that hellsite.

I also drew human!patches because a) patches was and will always be my favorite dteam member and b) it was a really cute trend and while I do love drawing dream, george and sapnap, I was also quite happy to try drawing anything but a white man for once. And I really liked how the drawing turned out.

Much, much later, I tried to draw my first slightly more realistic looking drawing. I was extremely confused on how to draw anything like this. Especially their hair gave me tons of trouble but given my experience, I think it's not a bad attempt.

When hijacked smp started I obviously wanted to participate, and I drew c!blu who doesn't associate with any side in particular but instead serves soup to everyone who visits her tavern 'The Soup House'. She also wants to be paid in stories from all around the map.

One of the events I was most excited about was dnf week. I even collaborated with two talented writers and I drew the corresponding art for two fics.

(Fun or not so fun fact: when twt had like three hundred collaborative aneurysms about the situation at that moment, that was when I created this tumblr account. I didn't use it super actively (I guess I needed another situation to fully make the switch) but I at least started the account that now developed quite a bit since then.)

I didn't really draw at all through January and February and I actually kinda thought I would move on from that hobby and fandom (not because of negative feelings, just because I didn't really have the urge to create anything within this fandom) and then situations happened and now I am here; and for some reason that is beyond any logic and my understanding I am now even more insane about dteam.

Wild to me but we are rolling with it now, I guess.

Since I got here, I drew more than ever (I actually think I might have made more drawings in the month since I got here than I made the whole rest of the year). There's just such an active and funny community here that cares about fan works for the sake of creating and not just because a CC might see it.

Unfortunately, Tumblr won't let me add more than 10 images in one post (maybe fortunately for everyone who has this monstrosity of a post on their dash). So if you want to see all the progress I made since I got here, you can look at everything in my art tag. For now, I will close this post with one of the art works from the past month that I like the most:

Can't wait to see what the next year might bring :)

Love, blu

[solar-tl-27]

OH HEY WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT I’M BACK

Yall never get regular posts from me omg you guys I’M SO SORRYYYY

but but but but but ya’ll wont believe it

I have been… DOING ART?! youuuuu heard that right folks i me MYSELF AM d-doing art.

Ok soooo i got a few updates

Life is still incredibly hectic i swear i feel like one of those fanfic writers tha5 post like

Hey sorry it took 8 years i was in a coma! But thankfully that’s not… entirely the case?

I’m on the list for an appointment to see if i have adhd because hearing my friends who are diagnosed and medicated talk about literally MY EXACT ISSUES AND IT HELPING i was like… damm maybe it is the good ol case of audhd … so hopefully hopefully i can get something to help with that!

Uhhh in other news I’m saving for a laptop so i can get into video editing and idk make some animation memes and animatics!

But ofcourse

Ofcourse

I promised art let’s not dwindle any more!

First of all we have some art i did for my story quest for the moon (i did blur out a bit just cuz well idk my audience that well so i’ll be bluring it even though it takes away a bit of context)

Then another piece for that series and then… omg.. no way is that?! Is it?!

Hehe surprise let’s get into the first art!

3 GOT ANOTHER REDESIGN AND MIGUELS’S FIRST FULL ART

Welcome welcome to my sweet sweet sweet baby angel boy Three that’s right he’s been on my mind again so i drew him… kinda like a splash art? If he was in a gacha game very cute very demure (if that meme’s old already… no it’s not)

And then we have THE VILLAIN of quest for the moon

Miguel also our main character ash in the corner hiiii ash

Miguel is basically like the mentor that’s secretly just try to steal your powers type he’s very much an opportunist and i love to draw him and loooove to hate him! This piece is basically foreshadowing extravaganza that will… eventually be clear i swear I promise I PROMISE but for now enjoy the piece it took sooo long

Next art!

This is still a work in progress it’s not done yet but I’m incredibly proud of it soooooo I’m showing it anyway and then we’ll get into the surprise

MEET MY SON ALEXANDER

ohhh my goodness after being in art block for so long it feels so nice to just get a solid redes out i’m soooo happy with how he’s turning out AA that’s my son MY BOY one of my oldest oc’s from so so so so long ago and fun fact i drew both pieces with the exact same brush heheheh the headshot next to him is his brother phoenix

Ok NOW FOR THE SURPRISE

Guess what! That’s right i have actually ACTUALLY started finding my way into the new project reignited

That’s right we got a MAIN CAST now

Now obviously some are.. easy to find the original inspiration for but they won’t be that similar to the redesigns they used to be no no no

Welcome the new crew of project reignited!

Muse, Plume, Thea, Orianne & caelusss

Muse is the main character a human boy who is just trying his best who gets swooped up into helping a dragon girl save her kingdom and the magical dimension while also fighting to preserve his home town!

Plume a dragon girl (plume, bloom you get the gist) who somehow ended up on earth is now tasked to find help to save her people and mother while also discovering the beauty of earth

Thea the daughter of an urban development company ceo and the love interest of muse (did i get myself this invested into a ship that i made it canon here… yes.) she’s a frail girl but is forced to step in as her fathers ideas turn from helpful to greedy and destructive

Orianne Thea and Muse’s friend and the more motherly of the group but faced with difficult circumstances and changes in her life can cause her to lash out as her life is completely steered of its course by magic and her dad remarrying.

Caelus! Muse’s closest friend a pretty chill guy that works at an icecream parlour during the week and helps his family with their market food stand in the weekend, he really wants to be a culinary chef but doesn’t know if he can truly achieve his goals in his hometown.

That’s the gang this will from now on be an original concept and no longer a winx rewrite yes winx will be an inspiration for this work but i do not intend to go the fairy route nor make the world building as big as i had made it in my rewrite… what you will see is me taking my rewritten work as a basis for this story considering i have basically rewritten my version of domino, zenith and solaria from scratch sooooo SWEET BABY BOY CRYOS MY BABY will be making a return later on in this story he’s mine he’s my son my boy i can do with his character whatever i pleaseeee ok ty

That’s the update that’s the post thank you all for enjoying my content and my terrible upload schedule life had beeeeeen hectic ty ty hope ya’ll stay for more and if this was your first post of mine you saw…. Check out my other work pls and thank u

Oki

BYEEEEE

[thistlevalden]

Oh god. Ohh god. Erm well. Heres my old ok*gom art from 2020, first 2 were early 2020, last 2 were from mid 2020. Oh buddy 😞😞

You can tell i got them from instagram LMFAOO.

Fun fact. I used to participate in a challenge where i drew every ok*gom character for everyday. Managed to get to #136 and i have NO CLUE HOW EITHER. ?? 2020 me was build different.

Anyhow if youre looking for comparisons heres uhhh. Pieces from the span of 2 months ago (thats posted at least)

AAAAA ART LEAK THAT I WILL NEVER EVER EVER POST. Maybe someday.

Mmm so far the face LMFAO. Ok tmi I was so so so obsessed with drawing the face i had a really bad psychosis episode about it (in hindsight it was kinda funny/joke). But oh lord dont follow my example it was horrible. There are videos about learning how to draw the face you can just research that.

I find the face really fun bc you can play around with the features and stuff. Super fun stuff.

Ok this isnt anti fancy brush propaganda OMG. I love my fancy brushes but theyre only for convenience. I love using them and ofc they very much are crucial for my works (they wouldnt look the same without them) — But i know i dont nessesarily NEED them. Thats the difference.

Also its fun to just use the basic brush! sometimes having too much options and brush choices kind of gets overwhelming and makes you lose focus on the things you need to pay attention on. Sometimes simpler is better haha.

If anything using a basic brush helped me learn alot too. Because of the heavy resctrictions i get to focus on things that would normally go over my head because of how

(I learnt that trick in traditional art actually haha, i got so so overwhelmed with the choices in my color pencils i used my dinky 2 dollar ones and dollar materials and i had way more fun with it! I simply applied that logic in digital art lmfao. sigh i miss trad art. I should come back to it..)

Ok ok this is a really instresting question bc im not gonna lie with you on this one even i fuck this one up even now.

This applies to proper pieces where im locked in but when i have an idea i kinda sketch out some drafts and stuff. Like really really rough. As rough as possible literally scribbles, when i start focusing on a specific part of the sketch at this stage ive already failed BAJDHA. Its kinda just tl get the feel of the piece and where everything is moving, sometimes i put golden ratio and rule of 3rd overlays to help with the flow but thats just me BAHSVS. Then once i kinda fw the vibe i start doing the cleaner sketch

BUT where the "i fuck this one alot" is because i dont follow thay rule. Like 80% of the time BAUXBSJDB this is also a NOTE TO SELF. cause HOLY SHIT.

usually when i have an idea it kinda rots in my head for a long long while until i just involuntarily draw it out. Which is. Not good! But oh well. Art isn't about the process but about the destination 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ how you get there is completely up tk you totally

[fatuismooches]

*flops out of sewer*

I noticed a couple of posts where Dottore holds onto stuff from fragile reader and I thought what if he has a locked drawer in his office where he's keeps littles trinkets or stuff from reader and looks at it whenever he's stuck on something or not in the best of moods and one day when reader is in his office they discover it. ahhh fluff fluff ( *pulls out angst* and reader starts crying because they didn't think their stuff is good enough for Dottore to see and that's why it was in the rubbish in the first place. hehehe ) fluffy fluff.

Ok. Have a lovely day smooches!

* flops back into sewer *

-Jellofish Anon

SOBBING RN NO ONE SPEAK TO ME... I saw your other ask referencing if fragile reader drew/made some kind of art but it comes out poorly due to their illness too and I just. CANT HANDLE THIS OH MY GOD. THIS MADE MY TEENY HEART HURT SO BAD. A part of you always wondered what he did with your little things... this was Dottore after all you couldn't always tell what he'd do. Especially since your creations weren't of much material or scientific value. You just hoped that in the instance you gave it to him, he was happy, nothing more. But clearly, you underestimated your husband... you didn't know he looks at your poorly made artwork when he's frustrated with his research, or fiddles with your not-so-well-constructed accessories when he's no step closer to finding a cure. You didn't know he thinks about you and what you're doing right now when he's stuck signing paperwork. Sigh...

You didn't mean to snoop around his office. The segments said he'd be there, but he wasn't. So you thought you'd just wait around a bit to see if he'd show up. And what better to occupy yourself by sitting in Dottore's large spinning chair and getting comfy. Even his coat was hanging there! But then you noticed that one of his drawers was the tiniest bit open, which surprised you as he always kept that one particularly locked. You never cared much about it because you presumed it was just important Fatui or research materials. But now that it was opened, right in front of your fingertips... you just had a feeling that you needed to know. And what was revealed to you was no confidential Fatui matter. No top-secret experiment. It was... merely the small gifts and trinkets you gave him on a whim. You swear, some of these were trashed in the bin, that you never showed to him too. Nothing fancy... and nothing very nice since your shaky hands weren't good enough for that. And that drawer was LONG. You kept sticking your hand in it and pulling out more folded pieces of paper. And what did you know, he also still had some things from hundreds of years ago that you made, these ones better quality since you weren't sick. Or letters you wrote to him, clearly worn but still recognizable. To think all of this was kept right in his desk... The revelation immediately started your tears. Dottore cared more than he would ever let on or show. Of course he did.

You tried your best to place the items back just as you had found them but your blurry eyes made it hard and eventually you just shoved them into the drawer. Hopefully he wouldn't open it up for a while, but he'd know it was you whenever he did. You just ran to your room and cried for a bit, both happy and sad that he actually liked your stuff enough to keep 🚶‍♀️ (He found out on the same day and came to your room to find you sleeping, and tucked you in once he saw your face)

[haileyp4l]

Summary: Drew was on Vacation with his family. But now he is home earlier than expected.

Warnings: None just Fluff

A/n: That's my first post but I hope you like it. Please don't mind the mistakes, english isn't my mother-language

It is weekend. You are alone in your apartment. You listen to Lana Del Rey ~ Yes to heaven. You dance infront of your large window. While you dance you enjoy the beautiful view. It's dark outside. It's been about half an hour since the sun went down behind the houses. You kind of miss Drew (like always when he's not around). The last time you spoke on the phone was two days ago. He is in Rome with his family at the moment. You couldn't come with him because of your job. At first you were sad that you couldn't come but now you're just looking forward to see him again. He should come in one week. And you are very excited. You've planned to go on a date with him as soon as he's back. You have planned a nice picnic with a spot where you can see the stars perfectly. Usually he's always planning dates (which are always great of course) but now you wanted to surprise him! So you're dancing infront of the window... you feeling hungry but you want to listen to the song first. "Say yes to heaven... say yes to me" you sing along loudly. You spin and just enjoy the moment. "Beautiful like always" you hear a voice behind you...but before you can scream you recognize the voice. "Drew" you yell happily as you turn around and run into his arms. "Hey darling" he says and laughs. He's holding you tight and you're just so happy to be in his arms again. Then you let go of him and look into his eyes. You are confused. "Why are you back again you shouldn't be back until next week"?! you ask. "Tbh...I couldn't take it anymore without you, not even another week! You smile. "Whatever I'm so happy to have you back" he said. "And guess what" he continues talking while raising his hand, holding a bag that's little too familiar to you. "Really???" you ask excited "you drove halfway across town for my favorite meal?" you continue. "I would Do anything for you" he answer. you ask: "Anything?".... "Anything!" he answer. You start blushing. He smiles and gives you a gentle kiss. _You hear the phone ringing_ "You answer the phone and I'll get the table ready for dinner" Drew says. "Ok, Love" you answer. You go to the phone and answer the call. "Hello?" you ask. "Oh hello dear this is Drew's mom". "Ah hello Jodi, what's up? Is everything Okay?" you ask. "Yes everythings good I just wanted to ask if Drew got home safely" "Yeah he is here and everything is fine" you answer. "Is he better now?" Jodi ask. "What do you mean was anything going on while on vacation?". "Didn't he tell you why he came home?"she sounds like she's surprised. "Uhm...he just said that he came because he couldn't stand being without me any longer. But it sounded like he was joking" you answer confused. "Oh he was a pretty much understated!" she said. "What do you mean?" now you're really curious. "Well, he was so quiet and absent the whole time from the beginning of the holiday. He didn't really leave the room and when he did he hardly said a word! One day his brother Logan asked him what he was thinking about all the time. He only replied that he has to think about you all the time and what you are probably doing now so alone. He also replied that he wished you were with him. We just noticed that he is not happy. But we knew exactly how he would be happy again. So we told him yesterday that we booked him a flight back home to you. When we told him that, it was the first time we'd seen him laugh so genuinely since the holiday started". "Woah" is the only thing you answer because you are speechless. "Well I have to hang up now but believe me Drew has never loved anyone like you".

_she hangs up_ You are shocked. But somehow you're happy too. You rush into the kitchen, where Drew is just putting the food on the plates. You go to him and hug him from behind. You hold him tight and don't let him go. "What is the hug for? I don't want to take notice, but..." he asks laughing. "Oh... I just realized how much I missed you!" you answer. "Ah that's a good reason" he said while smiling. "And..." You continue. "Yes?" he asks. "I love you so much Drew Starkey. I love you so so so much!" You see him blush."I love you even more, Y/N Starkey."You have to smile because he called you Starkey. You're not married yet but you already love it! " yk what?" you ask "Next time I'll come with you on vacation" you continue. "Really?" he starts smiling "Yep, everything for you Love" you say. Suddenly he goes to his cell phone and turns on "Yes to heaven." He takes your hand and pulls you close. He puts his hand on your hip and starts dancing to the song with you. " Y/N?" he asks quietly "Yes babe?" you ask. "You are the Love of my Life" you don't know what to say and just lean on him. "I can only tell you the same thing, my Love". You can feel him smile. There you are, dancing together again in your apartment. You could dance forever with Drew, the man of your dreams!

[gloomingstar]

Hey. Someone said on tiktok you were f@tph0b1c and a manipulator, and you drew NSFW with their OC. What's up with that?

Good evening/morning/afternoon to everyone it's Gloomy! And I'm going to talk about the people calling me problematic and pointing out the other shitty stuff, etc.. I have did! Before I start a reminder I don't want to start anything violent or a big argument about this I just want people to understand me. So let's get started

(English isn't my first language and sorry if I didn't talk about this sooner I didn't really pay attention much until it got worse)

As you guys seen the videos (video was made by ex), and screenshot, transphobic, fatphobic, etc.. I'll be talking about that.

So first of all I'm not transphobic some not only just me messes up with people's pronunciation and sexuality! Everyone can make mistakes about that and I hope you know that I have apologized to the person I have offended, I respect trans people and I have a trans friend, About the fatphobic, I'm not a fatshamer, well it's ok to have many different body shapes and I respect peoples body but saying it few times doesn't mean I'm completely a body shamer! Not to mention that the kid I have said about IS a body shamer and lowkey racist himself too, and don't say that I'm making fun of people's name I'm just calling my seat mate "carbonat" because I'm preventing to say her real name, she's ok with that calling her that, my classmates doesn't have to be included in the situation !! And what do you mean by I'm a "manipulator" do you even know the meaning of that word? I have no idea how I manipulated anyone maybe I wanted to be friends again with the person they made the video about me? I'm just trying to be friendly and forget about the past, if you really see me that way then you should just say the truth and say don't want to be friends with me again, saying the truth can't be that hard. If people will may ask "will you continue to do this", "will you continue to be problematic?" No I won't! I'm a changed person now all of this have happened way back In summer around June or July! It's very weird cus the person just making video about it all of sudden now after breaking up with them.

And the "nsfw" arts, I don't see the nsfw in the arts cus do you also know what does nsfw actually look like and the meaning, btw the arts was meant to be a joke and for shits and giggles!! Learn to take a joke without taking it as a high offensive way, and I don't like my doodles and sketches getting shown to other people if you really was uncomfortable with it why didnt you just point it out instead of just laughing it off and then show it to your "friends" and THEN posting it! thats an another level what took you so long to realise that and you know I could've understood it and stop drawing it in inappropriate way its your fault too, and I also feel guilty and ashamed about how I drew that person's oc with mine and I'm sorry about that, and no I did not draw all of the hellpark characters as a "nsfw" and i drew only once, all artist atleast draw one bad thing but why even care? Please stop spreading fake rumors about i drew all of the hellpark characters in a inappropriate way! And I know I got carried away with the arts, I looked at the comment that was in the video saying that I have drew more inappropriate arts, no i did not and i dont know you, i have never seen you, and i NEVER interacted with you unknown person! And that doesn't mean you have to bring the past and something happened literally alot months ago or while in the summer, get over it!!

Second of all, about my behavior getting called as "immature" and "insensitive". Not all teenagers have to be matured in their age, you were more immature than me, there is something called having fun, hope you know that. I'm not insensitive, I struggle with trying to comfort someone and understand someone's feeling doesn't mean I'm insensitive well I admit that i didn't listen to that person vent and I feel sorry for them and still feel guilty about it, I have apologized to them many times, maybe you have should stop hiding the truth and not forgive me it can't be that hard to not accept someone's apology if they actually did something bad to hurt someone like that. And yes I understand that it was hard for you. You could've just left me at the spot. Feel disgusted and sick about me , block me everywhere yall you want but I'm stating the facts and ok I admit that I have a bad temper and get mad easily and I have offended someone's partner writing alot of shit about the server and about them (srry about that bro.) Also calling me a "proshipper" are you trying to gaslight me or other people or what, if I ever shipped an adult with a minor I'm very sorry about that but I just don't remember how I shipped a minor with an adult my memory is bad, my apology.

Third of all, let's not bring my irl friends into this kind.. of situation (my classmates includes), they have said that they don't want to be included in it and they are not comfortable doing anything about it, maybe if you haven't said anything offensive about my friend she shouldn't have said something back too! And you don't even know what we are saying in our language so why point that out. And I apologized to that person afterwards. If you may ask if I have evidence of them, no I do not have evidence of them most of the time me and the person are in a call so I don't voice record, screen shot person's stuff, I respect peoples privacy and it would be weird as hell to just screen shot someone's screen like that and I wouldn't want to do that but someone said to me that they leak people's stuff and leaked someone's phone numbers, leaving friends, and body shaming ex friends and making fun of people! And I also don't want want my things to be screen shotted and get leaked in the public I understand that you had to do it but you have screen shotted other things beside than that, it's really weird and uneasy and mostly disrespectful for me too. I trusted that person too much, lesson learned. Like is there a problem about me talking shit about other people i hate and other problems to that person without getting them offended when it's NOTHING related to them, know your limits I have boundaries and privacy too and I want that to be respected! A reminder that learn to listen to other people's stories and think twice before attacking!

Fourth of all. No I did not ruin anyone's mental health neither I didn't ruined the person health I broke up with. I don't understand how can one ruin someone's mental health through virtual screen, let's just say that I have my own life I have things going on in real life too I don't just look through my phone all day and getting online, I have school, alot of homework/assignments, etc i have alot of things to do beside than drawing, I only draw in my free time and I know I'm not drawing everyday like I used to post. I need some times for myself too, and I feel very much sorry about that to that person I didn't pay attention enough and I just want to say im sorry for everything's I did. But this time they took It too far by posting a video about me? Please don't blame your mental health on people it's wrong thing to do to cover up that they are wrong and just more shittier than me in GENERAL! Get some common sense instead of immediately start blaming the person about their aftermath relationships.

Another thing I want to say that not everyone is always kind and innocent and full of joy, everyone has atleast did one mistake or many in their lifes you just deny that because you don't want other people to see you as a bad person, just learn to get over the past, if you don't want any problems then you should keep it to yourself instead of spreading it. Reconcile with fate.

Fifth of all, this one kinda targeted so. Do you really think you are a good friend when you are literally just leaving out your other friends just because they are quiet and doesn't talk much, introvert people exist and you know that, what do you mean you used to talk to me alot I don't remember talking with you much? You just make other feel very left out for your "cool friends" maybe you should pay attention to your other friends that is trying to talk to you and you just leaving them like that the next months.

Sixth of all. This one is very important. I have seen many anonymous sending death threats, grape jokes to me because of what, you just can't accept the fact that you can't say to me in my face, dms, without being yourself an coward anonymous, do you think it's funny? It's not I assume that you're one of ex's server member coming after for my blood, please tell your members to not send death threats in my inbox just for my reaction I do not need to give a fuck about that thank you.

One thing is I have permanently left hellpark ri, I'm not interested and I don't like it anymore, so don't attack me on that.

So that's all I have to say for, I hope you all understand this that I'm very ashamed and guilty about my actions and offending people, I apologize for everything I have did and I'm sorry if I didn't talk about this earlier. Please forgive me. Thank you for reading all of this. I do not want to come out as an problematic person.

[backstage-autorin]

I can't stop thinking about the HTDIO scene where the characters read the blog post

Content note: the quotes from the blog post will have ableism in them, which is called out in the context of the show but may not be what people want to see on their tumblr feeds.

I've seen the show twice, once in early January and again at the closing performance, so I didn't pick up on everything (unfortunately I forgot what Tommy's line was and until my 2nd time seeing it I misremembered which character had a specific line.) The first time I saw it I felt the breath get sucked out of the room at the opening line that Dr. Amigo read; I didn't get quite the same feeling the 2nd time but I saw it but I feel like the closing show was more fans seeing it one last time/who had seen it already and had somewhat braced themselves for the scene. (That being said, the 2nd audience cheered more when Remy's livestream included the phrase "Nothing about us without us, while I heard less of a reaction from the audience my 1st time).

But one thing that stands out to me about that scene is how the lines are perfectly crafted to tie into the characters' storylines and hurt each character individually.

To break it down by character with the caveat that the quotes are gonna be incomplete paraphrases(in alphabetical order except for Drew because I remember his line being last in the scene):

Caroline: "most will never marry or have children" (a few scenes ago she was singing about hanging family pictures down the hallway with Jay) (when I first saw the show I thought this was Marideth's line, tying into her conversation with her dad about dressing like Santa for her hypothetical future children)

Jessica: "most may never be able to live on their own" (throughout the show she has been working on trying to move out of her mother's house by learning life skills like cooking and the fact that her crush on Tommy is partly due to her search for a boyfriend who can drive so she no longer has to use unreliable government transport)

Marideth: "the nightclub is full of loud noises that can cause meltdowns and tantrums" (Marideth's sensory issues are prominent throughout the show--her opening line is an opinion of the scent of soap, she hates zippers that touch her skin [at least that's my interpretation of hoodie zippers being ok when dress zippers are bad] and the loud sounds in the diner stress her out. However, we also see that she has strategies to deal with unpleasant sensory input, like noise-canceling headphones)

Mel: "kings and queens for one night" (erases their existence as a nonbinary person)

Drew: "when you think you can't do something, think of the young boy with autism asking a girl to dance" (not gonna lie I also saved this one for last because there's so much to unpack. Given the fact that Drew is a high school senior, "young boy" is pure infantilization. At the end of Act 1, we see him want to ask Marideth to the dance but end up asking her if she wants to borrow his book about Pangea instead. In the long run this works because the book helps Marideth process her feelings for Drew, but in the short run the article line looks like it was written to taunt Drew for chickening out at the last second. This line in the article also ties back into the beginning of the song under control, when Drew contemplates his life thus far and the pressure he feels to "be the poster child for if he can then you can")

I just feel like the way the lines are individually crafted to each character's storyline needs to be talked about. Also if anyone can remember what Tommy's line was (with or without a connection to his storyline) that would be appreciated.

[paranormaljones]

Ok so, for reverse unpopular opinion, MAWS and Stranger Things :).

I genuinely laughed out loud when I saw the second thing in this ask. Evil evil evil 🤣

BUT FIRST WE START WITH MAWS

@dangerously-human BLESS YOU for also asking me about MAwS, I'm gonna do a two-for-one here and tag you in this one (and then answer your other one afterwards)

I'm gonna try to keep my thoughts brief because I'm gonna make an incredibly long post about it later but main points:

I absolutely adore the way MAwS portrays physical and emotional attraction between two adults while balancing both of those aspects of romantic attraction in a way that never makes the viewer feel it's unrealistic or uncomfortable, or like either party is objectifying the other. This is what my long post will largely be about because the way it's done in MAwS feels incredibly rare and valuable.

This has been said by so many other people but I also just adore Clark Kent's character in MAwS. Until now I have never once found myself significantly compelled by any mainstream superhero media besides Megamind. I tried with Marvel and it didn't take. I saw less of DC and didn't really see anything that drew me in, though to be fair I didn't really look. I didn't grow up reading comics and only knew the characters by their stereotypes or their gritty, subversive adaptations that no one likes.

And then I watched MAwS and it changed everything. XD I care about all of it now. I want to know so much more.

I also really really love this adaptation of Lois Lane. I'm really not familiar with the others, but she's such a fun and real-feeling character. She's larger than life and also so down-to-earth when she needs to be. She makes mistakes a lot and does her best to right them, and it's so comforting that she really feels like exactly what she is: a 23-year-old intern with the energy of a caged comet, trying her best to live up to extremely high expectations and her own aspirations. Sometimes that energy goes in the wrong direction, but she is well-intentioned and genuine and really a sweetheart. I love her to death.

I just. ugh. I love them so much. 😭

Okay. Now for part two.

Stranger Things. Can I talk specifically about the first and second seasons? Because those two seasons, for the most part, felt like such a beautiful embodiment of the "love conquers all" trope that we both love. The boys protecting Eleven at the start and doing everything they could to help her, Mike especially doing his best to communicate with her and be a source of safety and comfort for her, and at the end of the first season, her sacrifice to protect all of them. Good gosh. I still can't watch that scene without crying. AND THEN IN THE SECOND SEASON us finding out that Mike tried to reach out into the void for Eleven every single day for 353 days straight?? Destroys me. Utterly. I love Mike so much. (also fun fact, if you add up the digits in 353 it equals 11. i remember binging the second season on the night it came out and screaming to myself about that when it came up.)

I'm gonna throw this link in here because it's one of the best fan edits I've ever seen in my entire life and it encapsulates all of my feelings about Mike and Eleven in season one. I remember watching it over and over again seven years ago and it still brings back all of those emotions. It's so good.

Additional things I love about Stranger Things:

The music. Oh my gosh, the music. The soundtrack from season one is often on repeat in my car. It's freaking beautiful.

Steve. Best freaking redemptive character arc I've ever seen in anything ever. He goes from being perfectly hate-able to someone I would die for in the span of two seasons, and just continues to get better.

Steve's hair. It's great.

It being the reason that we have the infamous "category five woman moment" post about Joyce Byers. I think about it all the time. One of my top five favorite phrases ever.

There are more things but I think I've talked about Stranger Things more than I talked about MAwS at this point, ironically. XD

Thank you both so much for the asks!! These were so fun!! :DDD 💙

[the-love-of]

I'm getting better with words

I can tell because it feels like music can't keep up

I'll keep posting music and telling you stories tho

Do you remember Divinity Original Sin 2?

My pills really kicked my ass. And you bought me popeyes and diet coke? And we played almost all of Divinity 2. But we stopped at the end because I hate endings?

That's what the Chipotle is. The Jellyfish.

I feel like I owe your friend a great deal. For the rest of it

I've been operating in the dark. With only my knowledge of you and the squeezing on my heart

I'll sound crazy here. But you know that drum on my wall? The one with the raven? It was a gift from fis mom. The Raven is a trickster. Darkness. But without any of the negative things. Fi knows more. I lost my heritage the day I was born

But the swirls? They exist in Gaelic druidic practice. The trinity is associated with the Morrigan. Darkness... Loss. Death.

So I don't know for sure who. Or why.

But when my heart would squeeze. There was Scratching on the drum. Talons? Now that I think about it... wow. Ok. Anyway.

I was terrified. My heart would squeeze. The drum would scratch. And I'd notice signs of life from you. I'd go looking.

So as payment and my thanks.

I drew that first raven skull

With a prayer of protection.

Later I also drew a Grim as a thank you

You know that yellow drawing?

I drew you light and darkness. It was my first drawing in... well the last one was that face I drew you years ago.

My art is a love letter.

I emailed you the important ones awhile back.

I can't define you.

But its important you know your impact.

You are so loved. I never stopped.

Here's what I've learned about the Axolotl:

"Axolotl as a Spirit Animal is a great healer; it arrives in your life when you feel torn apart and do not understand how to put your spirit together again. The creature is a gentle Guide leading you back to wholeness. You need not walk the path alone. Partner with Axolotl in your recovery, making one small step towards greater well-being at a time.

Axolotl, as a Spirit Animal, resonates with the power of new beginnings. Even when it feels like you’ve exhausted every resource, Axolotl opens a new doorway revealing a path around obstacles. Remain patient and ready to focus on yourself for a while."

You chose well.

Shed the things that don't serve you.

I am so fucking proud.

I'm so very proud of you my live (we did that so much. Live instead of love. My autocorrect still does it)

I believe in you

Everything will be ok. I am so certain of this.

I know it in my bones.

I'm here

[stepswowdsen]

XanLena and KuroEne Doodles (NSFW)

⚠️ WARNING: R-18/NSFW ⚠️

【カゲプロ】 黒コノエネ/クロエネ/冴えエネ

【KagePro】 KuroEne/SaeEne 🖤💙

※ R-18/NSFW 🔞

クロハがエネをバイブでいじめる～ 🥰😚

Kuroha teases Ene with a vibrator

【リボーン】　ザンレナ/ザン蓮

【KHR】 XanLena/XanLiên ❤️💜

※ R-18/NSFW 🔞

Xanxus eats his wife out

And the XanLena WIP I had from before

Was playing around with the CSP 3D models for these to get a basic idea of poses

KuroEne Rambles

I doodled the KuroEne one quickly last night!

Kuroha teasing Ene with a vibrator/dildo inside her 🫡 Hehehehe. Wifey

I've been thinking of this for a while, so I just wanted to get the basic idea down… So it's super messy rn

I drew the Kuroha super quickly so I definitely need to redraw this neater sometime but here. I'll probably adjust the poses slightly. I love Ene's expression 😚 My cute wife 💙🫶

I'll probably redraw this but we are cooking!!!

Basically it's based on my idea from a month (?) ago about my gay fantasy of Kuroha teasing Ene with a vibrator/dildo inside her

I JUST REALIZED I FORGOT TO DRAW HIS HEADPHONES??? SCREAMS

BRB GONNA REUPLOAD

Their headphones are seriously so annoying to draw dude like everytime I just opt to draw over a free 3D model from CSP Assets store instead 😭

I wanna learn how to draw aesthetically nice looking NSFW 🫡

Reposting this again cuz I doodled this last night and just realized this morning I forgot to draw Kuroha's headphones oml :sob:

KuroEne doodle NSFW from yours truly 🖤💙🫶

I'm trying to get stronger at drawing NSFW for my ship needs so these doodles are for practice…

Anyways if you see me give a follow from my NSFW alt for my Twt mutuals/friends. Consider it an extra follow

Cuz it's been seriously pissing me off that ever since I made the new acc I've been seeing crypto, AI fart and right-wing fuckers pushed by Elonfuck on that acc's TL 😭

KuroEne (NSFW) Rambles

You can check out my previous KuroEne (NSFW) rambles here!

Kuroha playing with a vibrator inside Ene while she's wearing a maid outfit

Ene thrusts her fingers into Kuroha's mouth and he takes it eagerly and sucks on her fingers

I THOUGHT I POSTED THE INITIAL RAMBLES FOR THIS ART IDEA BUT I GUESS I DIDN'T... Ok I'll post my ramble ideas for my KuroEne doodles

(CW: NSFW TEXT)

Ok I didn't get the chance to draw it tonight so I'll just talk about my KuroEne (NSFW) ideas, heads up

So basically, what I wanted to draw on June 18th was Kuroha holding Ene from behind while she has her jacket sleeves/arms bound by his snakes and dark aura (light ~ mild bondage), while she has a vibrator/dildo inside her. And Kuroha with a teasing grin, says sweetly into Ene's headphones (ears), "Come on. Say 'Saeru.'"

When I imagined it my head, her wrists are bound together, with the snakes coiling around her sleeves. He does it teasingly in response to Ene's habit of covering her face with her sleeves. Since Ene gets embarrassed and flustered easily and tends to cover her face with her sleeves

My wives with the "Covers face with sleeves/pushes sleeves together" habit...

Selena (KHR AU), Tatsumiya (WATGBS AU), Ene (KagePro), Kougyoku (Magi)

Heehee.

But I thought that idea might be a little too ambitious to draw for me rn. Like last month, when the idea first came to mind, I spent an hour playing around with the CSP 3D models and STILL didn't get the poses I wanted for this art idea, so GRRRR. So I was thinking. Maybe I'll get to draw it some other time? My art/scenario ideas are so sexy, guys

Since my faves tend to delve into light ~ mild BDSM and kink stuff. I'm totally fine with depicting light ~ mild kink stuff. As I said, my NSFW stuff is not going to be very explicit, and is always mutually consensual.

This idea is so hot to me like good god imagining Ene's blushy embarrassed expressions with this is making me go bonkers

I started a XanLena (NSFW) WIP but it's not finished yet so I'll post it whenever.

And I FINALLY got to doodle what I wanted. I still need to redraw Kuroha tho tbh but I got the basic idea down ^^

For this little doodle of mine, I wrote the JP version first, then wrote the EN one.

KuroEne Scenario (NSFW)

I always try to make my ship NSFW scenarios hot... Hopefully I have delivered :)

There was also another KuroEne idea I had where basically, Kuroha plays a "game" with Ene while Ene has her wrists bound above her head while lying on the bed with a vibrator inside her.

He describes it to her this way. The game goes like this: He will ask her questions and go like, "Correct" or "Incorrect/Wrong answer" in response to Ene's answers.

At some point, Kuroha is surprised by Ene doing so well with his guessing game and then decides to tease her by using his advantage in "knowledge" by asking her things that she definitely wouldn't know (ie. Things from previous routes, his origins, etc.)

Ene gets feisty and competitive with him really easily which is what makes them (KuroEne) a good match for each other ^v^

Ene pouts at him for asking "dirty/cheat questions" (things that he would only know the answer to because he remembers previous routes) and calls his antics unfair. He just smirks, leans in and playfully nips and bites at her neck. When has he ever played fair?

Kuroha: How about we play a little game?

Kuroha: Simple. I'll ask you questions, and if you answer wrong, you get a strike, and I'll turn up the speed of the vibrator. If you answer right, it stays the same. Ready?

Kuroha: Very well, Ene. Shall we move onto the next question? Or would you like to take a break?

Ene: We can still keep going!!! Bring it on!!! What's the next question?

Kuroha: Hmmm~ That's one strike~ If you get it wrong (XX) times, the game is over.

Ene: Asking such cheat questions is so unfair! You're so mean!!! You're such a cheater!!! You rigged this game so that you'd win!!!

Kuroha: Heh, is that so? I'm giving you the opportunity to learn about the previous routes from me.

Kuroha: When have I ever played fair?

Kuroha: This is even more delightful than I expected… Well done.

KuroEne Thought Rambles

So, about a month ago, I posted a KuroEne sex idea where Ene thrusts her fingers into Kuroha's mouth, catching him off guard and making him moan on her fingers, but he also teases her by sucking and gently biting down on her fingers and urging her to dominate him and take what she wants, goading her into taking action, saying that "She's going to have to do better than that to dominate him," and that "she should make her victory even sweeter."

Something else that came to mind was Ene face sitting Kuroha while he eats her out.

Cuz y'know Kuroha/Saeru, while possessing Konoha's body, can use Konoha's eye Ability, Awakening Eyes, to rebuild the body into whatever he wants (ie. clothes, appearance), even being able to rebuild the body molecule by molecule in Novel Route.

Cinna once asked me this:

C: Important question would Douman have a long thing tongue like some demon characters are depicted

Me: I mean. A bunch of artists do draw it. Cuz it's an absolute missed/wasted opportunity if you don't

So take that what you will! Yes. Must be great for eating p*ssy. Better treat my wives well with it or I'll k*ll your ass!

Kuroha tells Ene, "I can make this body into whatever you wish… Like so." And just makes the tongue really long or like a forked snake's tongue and Ene just blushes and innerly goes like (AND WHAT WOULD THAT FEEL LIKE--) Kuroha sees her response and goes like, "Shall we find out?"

Ene Pegging Kuroha

And another one I thought of was like… Ene wonders about fucking Kuroha's mouth with a dildo/strap-on but she wonders to himself if that would even feel good for him… She doesn't want to be TOO rough to the point it doesn't feel good.

Kuroha tells her that he would still enjoy it even if it was rough to the point of being painful, and Ene just shoots her sadistic/sadomasochistic bf's ideas down. She still wants it to feel good for him.

And Kuroha is just like. Well, the solution to this is easy. Just get one of those dildos/toys that you can fill with artificial semen, then fuck me with it?

And Ene just goes like (…) and explodes. She just goes red like a tomato, and he laughs at how cute her expressions/reactions are (O//O)

Ene: IS EVERYTHING THAT COMES OUT OF YOUR MOUTH JUST TO EMBARRASS SOMEONE!?!?!? (//>~<//)

I could just imagine a moment where after Ene tops him and they finish, Kuroha says that it certainly is a shame that she doesn't simultaneously feel good/receive pleasure at the same time while she fucks him. Like yeah, he could touch her while she fucks him to alleviate it… If so, they could always get a double ended toy or something. And Ene reacts similarily like (//>~<//)

The thing is, is that my other meow meow mf faves (ie. Douman, Idate, Judar) would still have a bunch of moments where they get embarrassed and flustered by their S/O (usually moments of emotional intimacy and vulnerability)

But canon-verse Kuroha/Saeru just doesn't, like he has no sense of embarrassment or shame (he doesn't see anything to be ashamed of, it's an indulgence in 'pleasure,' a natural urge - it is in a sentient living being's nature to want something).

Cuz as I said, it's hard to tease and embarrass and fluster a guy who's older than human civilization AND knows basically everything (due to the nature of his Eye Ability of having power over knowledge and retaining memories of previous routes and having a full grasp of everything up to modern science)

XanLena Rambles

XanLena NSFW doodles from before

My gay fantasy of Selena. Teehee

I'll fix these up eventually. The 2nd one is still a WIP. I love Selena's expressions in these

I'm planning to make Selena's limbs thicker and redo the shoes

King of wifey p*ssy eating

Selena's non-binary swag 🐈‍⬛💜🖤🤍💛

XanLena (NSFW) Rambles

Xanxus eats Selena out

[ninasbookshelf]

Must-Read Memoirs

I'm on a bit of a memoir kick lately... so here are five of my favorites!

Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner

Michelle Zauner's memoir Crying in H Mart is an exercise in healing. The book is a straightforward account of the author's experience with pain, love, grief, and growth as she reflects on her relationship with her mother while processes her mother's passing. The agony of heartbreak is conveyed through Michelle's attempts to recreate the Korean food she never learned to cook, with the desperate hope that the threads that connect Michelle to Korea might connect her back to the mother who created her. Crying in H Mart is a breathtaking view on life and living to one's fullest. I can't recommend it more.

Miss Memory Lane by Colton Haynes

I was an MTV Teen Wolf fan. I'll admit that's what drew me to this book; I saw a familiar face on the cover and thought, "huh, I wonder what stories he has to tell." I was blown away. Miss Memory Lane follows Colton Haynes' life from childhood through present-day, detailing his experiences with sexuality, abuse, drugs and alcohol, relationships, and fame. Haynes spares nothing in his search for the truth and the candid voice had me hooked. His writing revealed both the naivety of his youth, the mistakes he made and the guilt he felt, and his current voice saying: this is what happened, and I'm here, it'll be ok.

I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy

I know there has been plenty of talk about this one, but it is worth the read! Like Miss Memory Lane, I'm Glad My Mom Died details the author's experience with fame, sexuality, and most importantly her relationship with her mother and herself. Jennette's unique voice puts a spotlight on her mother's abuse, facing the truth of her experience head-on. At the same time, McCurdy maintains a cutting sense of humor throughout her story. She plays with narrative voice as she matures throughout the memoir and leads the audience to a present-day where she is safe, self-assured, and has finally reclaimed power in the life that was always meant to be hers.

Hyperbole and a Half (and Solutions and Other Problems) by Allie Brosh

Hyperbole and a Half started as a blog back in 2009 where Allie Brosh posted stories from her childhood, her daily life, her mental health, and whatever else she wanted to post, in the form of a webcomic drawn in Paintbrush. In 2013 several of the existing comics were combined with some totally new ones as a memoir in physical book format. Darkly funny and refreshing, Hyperbole and a Half and its follow-up had me laughing out loud on one page and bawling on the next.

After Hyperbole and a Half was published, there was talk of a sequel, and even a preorder for said sequel, but the release was put on hold as several traumatic events happened in Brosh's life. It seemed that Allie Brosh had totally disappeared from the internet, much to the concern of her fans. Then, in 2020, fans rejoiced to learn that Brosh was well and returning with Solutions and Other Problems, a second collection filled with childhood stories, records of grief and loneliness, and major life changes.

These works are both graphic novel and memoir, and even if you don't typically read graphic novels I recommend giving these a shot. Hyperbole and a Half was the first graphic novel I ever fell in love with, and the stories are beautifully told. They are equal parts hilarious and heartbreaking, and filled with wisdom. Allie Brosh's memoirs are victorious tales told through the lens of someone who made it through and is continuing to push onward day by day.

Just Kids by Patti Smith

I read Just Kids a few weeks ago and I feel like I have a renewed appreciation for life. I wrote about the book in my Mid-Year Book Freakout post, so I'll try to keep this short. Patti Smith has a genuine and almost childlike—in the best way—view of the world around her. She looks at everything with new eyes and deftly conveys emotion as she travels through the stages of her artistic endeavors and coming-of-age. Smith uplifts her peers and immortalizes them as the artists they are, and she speaks about art and the pursuit of art with frankness while maintaining a sense of respect for those who created it. Smith's storytelling is comforting and gorgeous, and I am so grateful I picked up this book. I can tell it'll be a favorite for years to come.

[leminhthinking]

ever since i changed this blog's name and purpose it feels so funny and comfy, like i made a new home............

ok first thing to do after reposting that everything everywhere all when the seagulls cry post is. kiểm tra xem blog này có bị lỗi font tiếng việt không :D

second thing is talking <3

ranting (?) ahead. tw suicide attempt. im still not very open about my condition so its also kept under the keep reading.

so a few days ago, when i was checking my old tumblr blog (which is still my primary blog now. which is sad) to see if i posted any rants or random stuffs that i would normally post on other platforms there, i ran into a post where i drew Sparkling Cookie from cookie run and basically just rant there. apparently i had a breakdown (which, now, i remember nothing about) and had tried to drink a lot of pills in hope that i would never wake up after that. i was confused because the post was somewhere in 2019 while from what i remember i stopped doing that after 2018.

a thing i noticed is after talking about that, i talked about only remembering that Sparkling drawing (i mean. i should. i love him) and that i felt like someone else entirely from the person who drank pilled before that sleep. this forgetting thing was something that happened a lot to me, and tbh, if i kept denying the possibility that i have DID and is a part of a system, it would never make sense. but it does make sense now, and im glad we came to term with that

well for a bit more information, this blog (leminhthinking) is only run by me - the host, and not the whole system. while denying one of my alter before, i tried to force us to be one person, only to later on learn that were definitely more than that. on my behalf only, i want to distinct us from each other, and let everyone else be seen as equal as me

[sirompp]

you know what. i DO want to talk about it.

this got way fucking longer than i ever expected it to so ocverse ramblings under the cut ↓↓↓ i fully expect and accept my 0 notes on this post im doing this for me.

colourside au

(good god theres FORMATTING this got out of hand)

k first off i listened to this song a little too much when i was 13 and then colourside au happened. its based entirely off of that song. i didnt even listen to vocaloid as a kid idk how i stumbled on it.

anyway. in the colourside au. there are these things called nowhere zones. its like a black hole that appears at random and doesnt suck or move. the nowhere zones are like their own mini (and i MEAN mini) universes. time flows differently and so does gravity. yeah gravity can be described as flowing in there. the light and air is pretty messed up also. its just not a very pleasant place to be if im being honest with you.

so these nowhere zones usually pop up at random around the universe every few years, usually tiny ones just in space and shit not a very big threat. but for some reason they start popping up more frequently closer to and even ON earth.

so two of my ocs, twins, who were magical clones made by a scientist. what if they were just normal guys who arent even that close, and i made them the very thing they hate so much, scientists? yknow observing and researching the nowhere zones. cause if you go in one, you never come out, so nobody knows anything about them. at least. we think you dont come back. you kinda run out of volunteers quickly after the first few explorers you send dont come back.

now the planet is very big and a new nowhere zone is only appearing once every few months so its not like youll walk outside and half the town got blotted out by these big black spheres. like the chances of you going to the grocery store and coming back to ur fuckin house being gone are very slim. but theyre Not Zero.

and i thought. what if one of my characters. my guys. what if he got put in a nowhere zone while sleeping - and then managed to wake up and then become the first ever person to LEAVE a zone? wouldnt that be cool?

so obviously if youre a scientist observing these fucking black-hole-esque things with a fuckin event horizon and everything, nothings ever come out of one dead or alive like youve put ropes in there and they just Melt or Break when you try and pull em back and then a WHOLE ASS PERSON COMES OUT? youre gonna wanna see em! do experiments and shit! ask them about it! so they do but ruh roh raggy this guy doesnt remember shit about fuck and talks like hes hundreds of years old. which um. is how long that nowhere zone was there so that checks out actually. yeah so thats how they all meet.

and then. um. thats it thats all i got for the colourside au. thats about as far as it goes currently. there IS like 1 thing i didnt mention but its just another character who doesnt even have a role so who cares.

redswap au

dont worry this one is significantly newer and much less thought out.

important context: my ocverse has 3 main species. humans demons and angels. im cringe but i am free ok lets go

basically like not even a year ago i remembered this one time i drew my main demon oc as a human (before i had redesigned him to Not Be Bald and Wear Actual Clothes. so like. around the same time if not a bit earlier than colours au actually) and how differently i would have done it nowadays. like. i made his human design GINGER.

and i went... huh... a species swap that only vaguely resembles the real guy, not only in appearance but personality as well... You Could Make An Au Out Of This. and then i did

i shuffled all my main characters species around and changed their dynamics and personalities back to the way i had first conceived them but altered and less irritating and with actual good qualities

basically redswap au was made as like. an In Universe thing too so its story starts when the original guys burst in through Cross-Dimensional Shenanigans and everyone collides with their alternate selves whom they share barely nothing in common with on the surface and hijinks ensue while the originals try and convince the alternates to help them find their way out. that last part is oversimplified to the point of misinformation but whatever.

the conflict here is that the alternates, for one reason or another, Do Not Like The Originals. the demon-now-human guy is cynical, kind of pathetic, and scared shitless of demons mostly because of the angel-now-demon who fucking loooooves scaring the shit out of him and just generally being a massive nuisance. (this was their original dynamic way back when.) the demon-now-human alternate being terrified of demons is not a very good thing since. you know. the original is a demon. again shenannies ensue

the angel-now-demon alternate is not a big fan of the original because the original Is Like Nice Now and the alternate Is Actively Malicious. classic stuff whatever

and everyone elses redswap selves... i dont know! iii didnt get that far :) again this au is like under half a year old. oh. by the way. its called REDswap because the very specific images in my head are all red tinted with like red grass trees and sky. so. red :)

in conclusion:

aus where the characters and plot and setting and everything are so different you can hardly call it an au are very fun and you should make 5 of them by next tuesday. i love my fucking guys

normalize making early-undertale-fandom-esque AUs for your ocs that end up with more developed plots than the original

[geowrites03]

Smile

Damian Wayne x Joker’s daughter!reader

Summary: Damian finding out his friend from school is the Joker’s daughter and is being abused.

part 2 part 3

Spotify Playlist

“Guess who!” I called from one of the balconies in the abandoned warehouse. Batman and my father the Joker were fighting in one of the other rooms while Robin came looking for me.

“An annoying brat?” He replies and slightly chuckled but he won’t be laughing soon.

“Mmm… Close, but no.” I jumped down from the second level on the first with him. We both took out our swords and got into our fighting stances.

~

Several minutes later and we both have several cuts and wounds but no serious damage just yet. Robin tried to swing his sword at me but I leveraged under it and hit it down to the ground and kicked it across the room. I swung at him but he kicked my sword out of my hand and across the room with his.

Now fighting hand to hand and occasional kicks, knees and elbows, a few more bruises had been added to each of our bodies. Neither of us were winning but it definitely wasn’t me. I couldn’t land as many blows on him but I managed to knee him in the balls and run away.

~

I got a rather harsh lecture from my father after running away from a fight like that. He even threatened to beat me with the crowbar again if I ran from another fight. Mom helped me stitch and clean my cuts and wounds.

That night I couldn’t sleep and ended up staying on my phone scrolling through tiktok. When I realised how long I had been scrolling on tiktok I moved to scrolling through instagram. It was fairly boring until I saw that Damian finally posted for the first time in centuries. It was a photo of a drawing in one of his sketchbooks, it was of two swords crossing over each other making an x.

What really caught my eye were the hilts of the two swords. One was mine and the other was Robin’s like sure he could’ve found a photo of Robin’s sword and copied the hilt but there are no photos anywhere of mine. Since Damian was somewhat of a friend and, I had tried to keep my social life and the life my parents practically dragged me into, separate so he couldn’t have seen it at all. This was going to keep me up for several nights thinking about it now.

~

“Hey Dames!” I ran up behind him and gave him a hug.

“Hello y/nn.” He said calmly as I unwrapped my arms from around him and started walking beside him down the school halls.

“I was wondering about your drawing you posted last night. I recognised one of the sword hilts was Robin’s, but who’s was the other one?” He looked taken aback by the question.

“Oh- umm it was just something that I thought of on the spot because after I drew Robin’s the page still looked blank.” He’s lying, I can see it in his eyes.

“Oh ok, well it looked really cool.” After that I skipped of to the library.

~

Later in english class I kept glancing back and forth between the clock and Damian and every so often I would catch him looking at me but I thought nothing of it.

Damian’s POV~

Y/n’s been my friend for a while, I might have even developed a small crush on her, but she reminds me of somebody and it’s throwing me off. At first I wasn’t sure what made her so familiar then it clicked it was her smile. I kept on trying to see if any young heroes/sidekicks’ smile matched.

After I went through practically all of their smiles I never saw one that matched hers. It seemed like a bust looking through all of the young heroes’ smiles but I knew it had something to do with Heroes and …Villains… No she can’t be a villain, she’s too nice.

~

I was now looking back on some footage taken by the camera in my mask of my recent missions to see what I can work on in training. There was a clip from a few days ago it was when my father and I fought the Joker and v/n. It was when v/n first walked on the platform of the story above when she first looked at me she smiled.

It wasn’t sick or sadistic or meant to look cruel or ‘scary’, it looked happy, it was wide, bright, cheerful and almost innocent. It was also familiar, very familiar. I knew that smile anywhere, it was y/n’s.

When the video reached the end I saw something that I didn’t see when I was actually there. It was Joker slapping y/n then moved both of his hands to her throat and he threw her to the ground.

I couldn’t let her go through this I needed to help her, but I don’t know how if I knew where they lived then I would be able to save her and bring her back here.