#OK TO READ

[mildew-mop]

I am making an incomplete list of things that stress me out atm, and this list is being divided into [current issues] and [ptsd flashback Issues]

current

my shithead roommate that attacked me & caused me to have a miscarriage still lives here even though she doesn't pay rent, and I'm sick of her being here.

i need to buy a heater for my cats' shed, but i don't have $60, but I'm hoping i can ask my mom for that maybe

my chronic pain has been bad lately

the other shithead roommate who faked being pregnant immediately after she confirmed i had a miscarriage still hasn't apologized in any way, shape, or form

ptsd flashbacks

my father faking my death so that certain members of his cult would stop bothering him

growing up, i was described as "crazy" or "scary," and i would not understand why (hmm. maybe it's cause of those blackouts)

remembering video/audio program triggers

[elijah-terry]

experiencing speech loss at work after having a severe panic attack again in thr first 30 minutes of my shift

they pushed back my second person/backup to an hour after open

so i couldnt finish opejing tasks because i was busy basically the whole hour

and they're probably going to take my second person out of cafe to put her on the floor

and theyre expecting me to be up there alone again and also do both the social media posts and also run thr cafe andnalso and also

and i cant even talk right now. i dont kkow if i can take another week of this

im taking double my dose of anxiety meds for my panic attacks and im still having a really bad one every shift

im exhausted from havinf to push through them to work and today i lost speech and i cant be alone i cant do it anymore i cant be expected to do everything qith no support i am one person

[trainer-blue]

mental health stuff, not a vent, just thinkin & talking //

deeply personal & might sound weird! talking about coping methods that may sound strange especially to ppl who dont kin //

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i think kins & copes are so interesting.. like the range in my personal experience. like jasper DONA i’d describe for myself as a “coping kin,” bc he comes out in very (weirdly) specific situations where i need some help coping (somehow he’s specifically tied to when my parents r driving badly & i feel unsafe in the car?? LMFAO) but ALSO i’ve had more “normal” kin vibes from him, like the emotional connection to the songs, story, familial feelings for his family, feeling what he feels etc etc etc

walter i’d describe more as JUST a cope i guess? outside of coping scenarios i never rlly Think about him or feel his stuff… when i wrote for a.lien i wrote david & was damn good at it bc i vibed w david. I always loved walter & considered writing him but he wasnt the one i like. studied, connected to, etc.

I feel like that might be why walter is such an EFFECTIVE cope for me. He’s been one since at least / before 2017, long before i rlly knew abt concepts of kinning etc. i remember the first time my mom noticed how i was acting diff & it wasnt good. but yeah i think walter being kind of purely Reserved for copes helps a lot bc my KIN kins have so much wrapped up w them. So much extra stuff that needs activating etc etc that theyre not rlly. Effective quick fixes.

i am curious why walter’s my cope for this stuff & not data though. theyre basically the same, except data is even MORE “”incapable of emotion””. walter came first (for me) i guess, and maybe it’s helpful that i never did kin things w the franchise like i did w ST w lore? idk. interesting to me though

[dendrochronologies]

maya angelou saying the funniest thing anyone has ever said about editing, which i can never let myself forget EVER AGAIN [x]

[gibbearish]

love when ppl defend the aggressive monetization of the internet with "what, do you just expect it to be free and them not make a profit???" like. yeah that would be really nice actually i would love that:)! thanks for asking

[bereft-of-frogs]

There’s that post that’s like ‘everyone should get into a tiny niche fandom at least once’ fully agree, that was really fun -- but I would like to add that everyone should get into a fandom where their opinions run counter to major fanon because it really teaches you about sticking to your guns and trusting your interpretation of the text without having to rely on peer validation

because WHAT are people talking about sometimes

[foolsocracy]

this is actually so funny. imagining garth quipping and contributing to the conversation in his head cause he forgot the rest of the teen titans can't pick up on his telepathy

[alfea]

PLEASE go donate some esims if you’re able to

[roninkairi]

You can only reblog this today.*

*PLEASE READ THE TAGS

[androgynous-barbie]

Sigh

This is about the dream I just woke up from

His name was Adrien I think. Possibly influenced by that post where that guy talks about how he’ll wake up and shower his boyfriend in pet names and he’ll respond “hello adriAn”

He was tall and black. Light tho. Not fully ‘stereotypical biracial skin tone’ light or at least not all the time. He was apparently half Vietnamese. and his hairstyle kept changing. For a while he had a shaved head. Then he had a big think 1970s Afro. Then he had a black Corbin bleu-esque Afro. The last hairstyle I saw him with was shaved down and pink

He was French. Probably influenced by watching a few scenes of IWTV and reading stuff about it before I went to sleep. He spoke in such a sexy accent. And he seduced me with it almost accidentally when compared to how he seduced me physically.

And then he became my boyfriend. I don’t know how long he was supposed to be in town/my house for and every time I talked about him being my bf I made sure to sound unsure (cuz he had a girlfriend and again I didn’t know how temporary this was meant to be)

He loved kissing me or openly making out with me in front of anyone. As if everyone ceased to be around when we kissed. Even his gf. Who really didn’t seem upset so I wonder if I was being added or if he was going to break up with her??? But she and I were good friends so maybe the former.

I didn’t know his name til I was introducing him to someone and then it just like… occurred to me.

And then I woke up. And the happiness slowly faded as I realized all that was in the dream world. There is no French micro-semi-demi-celebrity visiting town/my house. There was no sensual French language and BODY language seduction. I don’t “lowkey kinda” have a boyfriend. No one told us to get a room with a happy for me kind of a smirk.

It was a dream. He was a dream. And I couldn’t go back.

I fucking HAAAAAAAATTTTE dreams this sweet. Nightmares are actually somehow less cruel than this. Fuck.

[katsinspats]

Thematically appropriate comic for Make a Terrible Comic Day!!

I saw the original post this morning and it made me get out of bed to make something, so thank u Pseudonym Jones mission accomplished

[evilmafuyu666]

[sabertoothwalrus]

does science experiments on you (homoerotically)

[letmebegaytodd]

[roppiepop]

Who’s coming to the cookout?

[heartorbit]

if we could stay connected, just like this