#OK THE REST ARE COMING THEYRE JUST IN THE CUE I JUST LIKED THIS ONE A LOT

[whack-patty]

not an iconic ship but HypnoYak is a pretty fun crackship

(Harry the Hypnotist x Darius)

((also same I haven't watched Sing in a very hot minute)

This is them to me

[toothlespoggers]

AAAAAAAAA STIMMING STIMMING JUST WATCHED EPISODE 4 (I think) OF THE NEW SEASON OF DRAGONS RISING AND BOY THIS SEASON IS SUCH AN IMPROVEMENT FROM THE FIRST AND ITS SO GOOD AND ITS AMAZING AND COLE IS SO FUCKING GAY FOR THAT GUY AND THEYRE SO GAY THEYRE SO GAY, THAT GUY WHATS HIS NAME

DID YOU SEE THE WAY HE LONGINGLY LOOKED AT COLE NOT ONLY HAS THIS SEASON FIXED ALL THE CHARACTER WRITING FLAWS THAT THE PREVIOUS ITERATIONS OF NINJAGO HAD BUT IT ALSO CONFIRMED COLE GAY HE GAY FOR THIS MAN, THEYRE SO GAY, NO ONE STARES AT ONE PERSON THE WAY THIS GUY DOES AND ISNT GAY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AND ZANE WITH THE FRONICKY PLUSH AAARGHHH I CANT BELIEVE THIS THEYRE LETTING ZANE REST? WHAT HAVE I BEEN SAYING YALL EVEN IF TUMBLR HASNT EXPERIENCED ALL OF MY NINJAGO OPINIONS, YOU WILL UNDERSTAND I HAVE BEEN SAYING FOR YEARS THAT ZANE NEVER GETS A BREAK. HES ALWAYS WORKING, HES ALWAYS FORCED TO GET UP AND DO STUFF BUT THIS SEASON HES PLAYED VIDEO GAMES AND STAYED BEHIND, HES CHILLING WITH THE FROG MAN AND ITS SO GOOD AND AAAAAA I WANNNA WATCH MORE EPISODES BUT I WATCH IT WITH PEOPLE SO I HAVE TO WAIT BUT IT IS THE BEST.

I love the ninjago writers SO MUCH if anyone has like any information on the behind the scenes decisions and stuff that’s gone into the development of this season that’s changed and improved the previous issues tell me I wanna know! Argh I’m so happy, they finally gave Cole a family outside of the ninja team because let’s be real Cole was kinda sidelined for ages he needs a nice family of people who respect him and also he needs a hot purple boyfriend to look after him!

Lloyd isn’t an npc, he’s a human being with flaws?? Like actual? Logical? Flaws? He’s not just a main character anymore?? His flaws aren’t even super annoying either. And like CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW FUNNY IT IS THAT TIKTOK AND YOUTUBE CANONICALLY EXIST? THE NINJA ARE LIKE, TUMBLR SEXYMEN??? IN THE LEGO UNIVERSE?? THATS SO FUNNY, WHAT?

all the jokes feel like actual people talking, the writing feels natural for the first time in years! Zane isn’t constantly abused, he’s happy and frog man is the best character and if Lego doesn’t immediately release mini figures for frohicky and all the other minor characters that are pretty important I’m going to Sue.

also I haven’t watched the next episode but if it doesn’t explain what happened with Zane to end up with a frohicky plushie I’m going to go ballistic, alright?

Hot take but I’m glad Jay isn’t there anymore ik he’s probably going to come back but he’s honestly the worst ninja nowadays. And also, KAI CHARACTER ARC FIXED??

KAI ISNT INSUFFERABLE UNLEARNING AND RUDE ANYMORE HES AN ACTUAL GROWING CHANGING PERSON NOW, AND LIKE I USED TO HATE THE SELF INSERT NEW GUYS BUT THEYRE SO WELL WRITTEN NOW IT JUST MAKES ME LIKE EM’ and sure Aaron can get a little annoying but he’s so autistic coded like openly autistic coded he’s like “is there a social cue I’m not picking up on?” COME ON, MAN. COME ON!!

also like I said, girlie, baby, Sora, honey, you are the GOAT. WE STAN!

also if something ever happened to Zane couldnt sora just like, fix him on the spot?

my only complaint is the fact the ninja haven’t just taken off the masks before the wolf people turn all magic-y like bbg just take it off.

one last thing, JUST SAY CHIMA, WE ALL KNOW THAT GUY IS FROM LEGO CHIMA DONT HIDE IT EMBRACE IT. AAAAA

also that skeleton lady kinda..

Look I’m an undertale fan I have skeleton brainrot, ok? Don’t judge me

[eric-the-bmo]

The Neighborhood Watch recap s2 ep3: Gnomes [aka, a horrible recap taken from texts i sent my friend]

[aa sorry it took so long rip]

AAA??? SO. JOHN GOT PUSHOVER-ED INTO A JOB (he works for the city now oh dear), WHERE HE MET A WOMAN NAMED CLARA WHO MIGHT HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM? AND WHILE WAITING FOR SHELBY TO PICK HIM UP HE TRIED TO APOLOGIZE TO MARKUS, right- who btw made a wish for people to forget about their bug ability things- and John tried to apologize and was all "listen i dont quite remember what happened, im so sorry, but it wont happen again! look im fixed, its ok" and markus was all "u didnt need fixing, u were my friend," which kinda short-circuited john a little bit (bc hello? what do they mean he didnt need to be fixed?).

Meanwhile, it's revealed Karen started a homeowners association and the rest of the Main Cast decides to fuck around and be spiteful, while John is busy despairing over shelby telling him she started a hello fresh sponsorship and is going to use the kitchen for a cooking stream. Markus pours sugar into the gas tanks of people who signed the HOA (and even fills two of their houses with cockroaches, including Lestat's), Louis makes plans to build a radio tower bc u can do that ig, and Song buys a shit ton of lawn decorations, including lawn gnomes which she puts in her garage (btw, the general store is totally supernatural. aisles for whatever you need just show up).

[We take a break. We joke about how no one is normal in this goddamn town, and the Sumpaths are mentioned as an example of a normal family. I start concocting/yelling about a crack theory where, ok listen- Armin is an engineer and used to work for the government, and Amira, his daughter, she doesnt have any magic potential, right, which is weird for a person, what if shes a robot—]

The next morning a neighbor has a yard sale, and Markus gets a millennium falcon lego set to give to shelby, and she and john plan to build it together later ☆

John says Fuck It and goes to apologize to song ["john, you tried to fucking kill me"// "in my right mind i wouldnt- i know i shouldnt want to hurt people"], and she doesnt forgive him. He heads to work :-(

Louis tells Markus about his radio plan, Markus accidentally slips they were the one who fucked up the niegubors cars, and they go to buy spray paint so Markus can paint their house to continue to fuck with the HOA. On the way there Mark tells Louis they think john hates him now bc of the door thing (cue me yelling in despair). Louis suggests maybe John was also freaked out by what happened in the s1 finale, and didnt know what the others would think of him. Markus considers this. They get the paint.

Meanwhile, over to Song: Fatima (amiras mom) joins in for a session, right, bc last time amira came home a bit upset (bc of the death vision thing) and amira is outside setting up the archery stuff. Fatima asks Song about Lucretius aka Lestat (she wants gossip, spill the tea girl) and they talk about the HOA and how it fucking sucks. Anyway Amira comes in and is all "yo song ur garage smells weird" nd song is all "What" and so they go over there and it smells like GAS. oh no, yknow And the fucking LAWN GNOMES ARE ALIVE, RIGHT. and theyre messing with the propane tank on the grill and one strikes a match and song gets the two other ladies out of the way, and fatima is unharmed. And they look over at Amira and she sits up and she seems a bit dazed, right, but not in any pain, but a third of her face is burned off and theres a metal exoskeleton, BC I WAS RIGHT, BABEY!!! ROBOT

[transguygardner]

ok im going to try to be brief about this

shazam movie: dont care. still havent watched the first one

the flash: personally dont think they should release it but theyre using it as their reset movie so 🙄

blue beetle: i want this to be good so bad but victoria…

aquaman 2: again please be good

creature commandos: tentatively hopeful about this one. i want a fun grown up cartoon. i havent read the books here so if i dont before its released i will probably enjoy it

waller: its either going to be really good or really bad. i know viola davis will do the most she can with what she’s given

superman legacy: honestly snyder’s superman stuff has beaten me down so bad when it comes to live action superman that i hope its just something different

lanterns: honestly sounds like nothing exciting or interesting or new is going to happen here and i know theyve been trying to make a hal john buddy cop movie for ages so im not surprised at all and feel mostly neutral about it

the authority: i am clenching my jaw and staring into the distance and trying to stave off the feelings of dread. they just dont feel like they could make a good live action movie with the amount of marketability that gets put into shit these days its either going to get production hell or end up like the atla movie

paradise lost: comparing it to game of thrones is honestly the worst thing they couldve done. game of thrones is based completely in blending british fantasy tropes and british history (the war of the roses). i really dont think that will work well for a wonder woman thing and honestly they should be taking cues from xena and like some actual greek plays and shit. the image chosen to showcase it in the video doesnt instill any confidence in visibility either

the brave and the bold: dc is never going to do what i want in a damian story and even if they did it would never last. im a little curious for what this will mean for the other batfam members before damian and doing a damian story first is good for slating in where the rest of them are supposed to fit but i do not expect this to be good at all

booster gold: out of the ones that im worried about this is the one im actually least worried about because um. i dont believe it will actually happen given booster’s track record. also the key words imposter syndrome were actually mentioned so like at least they see behind the facade

supergirl: its based on the tk book. which i read and i did not enjoy because all of the girl rage that was trying to be put in it rang hollow to me. kara has real girl rage in the red lanterns run. this was prettified girl rage performed for an audience that still needs to love her at the end of the day. it also feels fake as hell that kara wouldnt have a single person who wanted to go drink with her on her 21st birthday so tying that in as a plot point was stupid. like just have her go drink alone. it didnt have to be her birthday. anyways i dont think it will be good unless they can somehow manage to hire actual girl rage writers for it but i swear to god if theyre doing a straight adaptation i want their hands to burn

swamp thing: honestly i just miss the show they did a couple years ago and this isnt going to continue that so whats the point

[fedorahead]

ok i originally posted this on facebook but imma overshare here too

hi my name is z yes the letter and i like vampires and pirates and movies about magic and cats

i hate nightmare before christmas because clay mation is weird but i really like wallace and gromit and other stuff aardman makes

i have 2 tattoos of a sun and a cloud on my knees and the cloud knee was aching real bad today because of the weather

i have naturally strawberry blonde hair but when i'm depressed and malnourished it turns brown. i usually dye it auburn but this most recent red was supposed to be black

my favourite animal is a dragon THEYRE NOT IMAGINARY THEY'RE EXTINCT and i also like goats and crows and cats

i collect fashion dolls like fashion polly and sometimes i'll buy a barbie if i like her outfit and i have one rainbow high doll too and i love her

i sew but i am usually too depressed to start and always too adhd to finish

i am diagnosed with adhd which is why i can be so rAnDuMm! but i am also a millenial and we were all like that. i also think i'm autistic and no i can't afford the assessment but everyone who's met me pretty much agrees.

i spent a long time behaving how people want me to, i'm real good at guessing that and adapting to it, and it was crushing my soul and i only did it because any form of social rejection feels like being in life threatening danger to my brain which was comppunded by spending years in extremely abusive situations and online in social circles where rejection could lead to your livelihood and maybe even your life being interrupted making me keep feeling like my fears were more and more valid and real until every part of me that made peiple visibly uncomfortable was cut away and i was charming, clever, and expressed emotions in socially appropriate ways like being mean or asking as many people as possible for their opinion on something before forming mine even though when i actually would then express that stance nobody would back me up becaus people arent honest avout their intentions or expectations which leads to those of us with a strong sense of justice standing up for causes the people who set us at them don't even really believe in

i spent most of my life stuck in this zone of knowing that whatever makes me me leads to isolation and social rejection whcih in turn is dangerous to my physical abd mental health and wellbeing and every hint of rejection sent off cascades of cortisol and adrenaline in my brain and would cause panic attacks and complete non functionality and so ive suppressed that stuff and became someone at lwast the barest amount of acceptable by reading the cues of what people appreciate and approve of and enjoy heing around to the point where i think i can see the real me through a fogged coke bottle glass of memory but i cant make out many details and i'm pretty sure that kid is dead

but the bits of me that have poked through against my efforts are still bouncing around and maybe i can build someone i like out of those instead of resenting them for being unshakable

the first step is embracing the annoying and spontaneous and oversharing side of myself that has been screaming to come out and is constantly locked back in when i wait for someone else's approval

so here you go

i'm 31, and i'm still proc3ssing a lot of my teenage emotions and probably will be for the rest of my life. i am angsty and bitchy and hungry all the time and i love fashion and art and expression and have a passion for weilding the written word with different stances and flourishes to really get a point across stylistically

and it's interesting to think how mcuh of me jas been suppressed for my own safety, even when i didn't know who i was hiding from.

like, some of the safety mechanisms just turned bacn the fuck on a few years ago and nobody really noticed or knew why. and i can track what bad relationship lead me to go from being a super sex positive out loud feminist with strong political convictions and a come at me bro attitude towards censorship, morality, and sexuality to being someone afraid to have anyone know anything i was passionate about, especially when it came to relationships or sex or social justice because those things had been used against me in pretty awful ways, but i was getting better and healing and then that all got shut back up into that tiny box because i had someone in my friends circle who was predatory and sadistic and i didn't even realize how unsafe i felt around him until he started hurting my friends. and even while i was singing his virtues and trying to sell people on his good side i still was uneasy and i just didn't attribute it to him until *his* mask dropped (a secondntime) and i put the pieces together. and honestly? if i had been open in the ways i'd been before all the trauma, i would have been a perfect victim for him. which is, i'm sure, why he started talking to me every week, making sure i'd be at amtgard, right around the time i was starting to come back into my own and start opening up to the world a little more. but that whole part of me got fucked up for a little while by life and by the general bad vibe i had, like i knew being open about sexuality and sex would put me in danger even though i could not see by whom

anyway i quit amtgard. whether he comes back or not, i dont really care, i dont want to be in a community that isn't vigilant and while i wasnt in real danger because i choose to surround myself with people who watch me like a hawk, that's not a community thing and if i hadnt been there when i was, watching someone else like a hawk, some worse shit would have happened.

i'd rather be myself, with all the risks that come with that, and stay safe with my circle rather than being comfortable in a place i have no business being comfortable with people i don't truly know, suppressing who i am because i know that that person is in danger. for wahtever reason, social or physical.

anyway today i'm trying to be honest and true to myself an dthat means a lot of dunb posts that i'll definitely be judged for, and i gotta practice being judged without wanting to kill myself ao here are my cards on the table i guess.

[dirt-str1der]

Awesome amazing sexy trans thoughts on polycombat? (I am sucking up to u rn)

SDFKBFHIDSYF HI Get off anon so we can kiss !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i have no idea what poly combat is but im going to assume its madness "gaysex" combat's one and only au where the dissenters are so in love

Now i know youve noticed that everyone in madcom is trans but especially doc and sanford their tboy swag levels are off the fucking charts. But also san met 2b when he was pretty young so when doc was like huh ? Oh yeah i can hook you up on T he was like WHAT !!!!!!!!!! And doc is like yeah lol i do top too , and san was like @_@ !!!!!!

Also i like to think that dei (being their most recent member) literally didnt realise that 2b was trans until he just .. forewent wearing his binder one day and dei was like ........ DID YOU ALWAYS HAVE TITS ? AM I CRAZY ? And sanford was like DEI YOURE BEING SO RUDE RIGHT NOW , and 2b was like why're you looking ? :smirk:

Anyway being transmasc and nb isnt easy but thank god hank is king gendered and can do anything. I wanna believe deimos and them didnt get along at first because they first thought he was too shy, then they thought he was too annoying so... huh , they still dont get along BUT they hang out to watch tv together and m-maybe c-c-c-cuddle. Deimos is very good at reading hanks body cues unlike san who treats hank like their beloved pet tiger (San: Why are you looking at me hank .... are you hungry ? | Hank: O_O) , but he uses it for evil because and only tells the worst fucking jokes to try and make hank cringe

Im not even gonna extrapolate on sanmos theyre literally married in canon and this carries over faithfully. This is getting long so more under cut

This is a bonus but because i have a policy (2b is nevadas most overworked bicycle) he and jeb have an on off thing going on because hes jebs t dealer but they also think each other insufferable but they still go out sometimes because sometimes you really cant control which dipshit you get attracted to. Like yeah if 2b calls him up because he needs him for a job jeb will come running but it will NOT stop him from berating doc for his fucked up and unethical experiments the whole time and 2b is like we had sex before marriage we're both going to hell fuckass

2b's feelings on the auditor are complicated because on one hand seven foot tall flaming demon but on the other hand .... "my ex was actually unbearable BEFORE she transitioned i just stuck around because the dick was insane". Hes like youd be appealing if you stopped trying to kill me right after flirting and shes like ^_^ ok next time i will just kill you on the spot okay?

San and dei share the strap

I have a lot more to say but this is absolutely going to delve into me writing about 2bs extremely complicated relationship with the rest of the cast but i WILL tell you this: he and hank are qpps

[kyodzuken]

boyfriend headcanons - soul evans

a/n; my soul evans inspired playlist!! https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1YntdhOZPg1wMzYBwymwWR?si=JnHvKUWRSKGghG_dDakXGA

- you and soul started off as friends

- you'd joined the dwma halfway through the year and immediately hit it off with liz and patty

- and inevitably the rest of the group

- you're shy; so seeing this big group of loud - and very talented - weapons and meisters threw you off a bit

- but don't judge a book by its cover bc they were acc vvv warm and welcoming

- 'any friend of liz and patty is a friend of ours!'

- your partner was the first to realize tbh

- you and the gang were playing basketball

- or rather you, patty and your partner sat and watched as the rest played basketball

- when they caught you staring at a certain white-haired weapon a lil too long

- and patty;; being the girl she is;;; brought it up instantly when your partner nudged her shoulder.

- '(y/n)-chan!!! i never took you as a lovey type!'

- you rolled your eyes and denied it

- but they knew

- and so did you

- that night,, maka invited everyone over

- and ofc luck was on your side

- and you were squeezed next to soul during the movie marathon

- and it didn't help your case when he put his arm behind you, resting it on the couch.

- you thanked god it was dark because liz would definitely bully you for how red you were lmfao

- you excused yourself to the bathroom

- nearly shat your pants bc ????? uh????? you were just next to ur crush???

- and he smelt rlly nice wtf y/n snap out of it

- so after composing urself and one too many splashes of water on ur face;;

- you exited the bathroom to see the group sitting down in a game of 7 minutes in heaven

- and you wanted to cry

- you either got stuck with death the kid, literally the worst dude in the entire group (blackstar), crona, or your crush.

- lose/lose situation,,, maybe except crona bc theyre a cutie

- and lowkey you were wishing you picked up a specific hairband

-  and u did lol hahahah

- so u were stuck in this small cramped closet

- and u were so deep in thought

- u barely heard when the poor boy called ur name

- ' uhh,, listen,, this is so uncool of me to say here but,, if you say no i'll just kick you out of my house.'

- jeez ok albino

- 'i like you.'

- you swore you stopped breathing

- wtfwtf????

- did he just???

- nawl

- 'uh... i like you too..' you muttered

- which ended with a 2 minute long makeout session

- his hands travelling somewhere they shouldn't

- before blackstar slammed open the closet doors

- exposing the two of you; lips puffy and hair messed up

- the teasing didn't stop for months lol

- but das okay bc deep down they knew yall were couple goals PLS

- soul has a playlist

- filled w bangers

- and everytime he's over and the playlist starts....

- whew heated makeout sesh

- he definitely has some led lights in his room

- set to red

- wink wonk

- he's the type of boyfriend to always have his hand around your waist

- and y'all are best friends doe

- cue maka getting jealous / mad bc soul started ignoring her lowkey<//3

- deserve

- ANYWAYS you guys are literal SOULmates (hehe)

- you have so many inside jokes

- the group is honestly surprised bc they didn't think you two would get along at first

- soul is the type of boyfriend to have sm memes on his phone

- like you'll text him the most specific scenario ever and he'd have a wendy williams meme for it

- and he teases u,, sure

- but it always comes from a good place yktfv

- soul is the type of boyfriend to hold ur head and give you forehead kisses

- he'd give the best hugs too

- he'd wrap his arms around your torso and place his chin ontop of your head

- whenever ur sad just text him a lil frown face

- he's at ur door in record time

- w takeout, some snacks he possibly stole from maka's stash, and his netflix password

- sometimes you guys just lie there

- basking in each other's presence

- u might hold hands but

- mostly just enjoying each other

- soft rnb or indie playing in the background (peep my soul inspired playlist juicyoh)

- soul isn't good at doing ur hair

- but he'd try

- stupid little braids while u two are watching a movie

- netflix and chill except yall acc chill

- like he literally falls asleep in ur arms awe

- and you'd sometimes ask to do makeup on him if u wear makeup

- put his hair back w a lil hairband as he mutters some shit like

- ' this is SO not cool '

- shut up white boy you love it

- expensive dinner dates are few and far between

- but thats just bc yall are not that kind of couple

- you'd rather just get takeout and watch a good comedy or horror

- you'd be the couple to start a youtube channel

- and it'd be acc funny content like,,

- people would subscribe for the couple and stay for the content

- once you did a fnaf lets play

- soul literally left halfway through bc he got scared

- cue the 'bestfriend vs girlfriend tag w/ maka and y/n'

- if ur a meister

- you've probably tried wielding soul in his weapon form

- let's say,, it didn't go too well,,, and now theres a big mark in a wall in the city

- you and soul would 100% play pranks on blackstar and death the kid

- especially death the kid

- with help from lizzy and patty you'd make the poor boy regret ever introducing you two

- but it's all in good fun and the black haired boy has gotten y'all back multiple times too

- soul loves it when you wear his clothes

- like just seeing u in his hoodie makes him ❤️ 💓 💕 💖 💓  💖💕 ❤️

- one of ur biggest pet peeves tho

- is hes constantly undermining his struggles

- and you sit him down like

- 'babe,, youre important to me,,, you need to tell me if somethings wrong okay???'

- baby bursts into tears

- you and maka are some of the only people he's open to.

- he'd definitely play you piano

- or teach you if you don't know how

- maybe you'll sing along a few times

- when you fight it's usually over silly things

- like maybe maka was being maka and he's stressed so he lashed out

- or you didn't kill the kishin you were meant to and got told off by lord death

- it always ends in apologies;; you two don't really let it get between you

- soul is the type to tuck ur hair behind your ear when making out

- or the type to give u hugs from behind

- like imagine omgomg

- you're just chilling in the hallways at the dwma

- talking to patty

- when soul just

- he just

- ugh hugs u from the back, his head on your shoulder, a soft smile on his face as he kisses your cheek.

- cutie asf y'all r cute cute cute

- all in all

- he rlly does care ab you and you just

- "right back atcha babeyy!!"

- fr though

- y'all are bestfriends but also lovers

- goals af

- manifesting a relationship like that brb

[lovingmyselfcore]

Skate Into My Heart

Chapter Three; Uh oh

BESTIES

I'M ALIVE AND I DID THE WRITING THING

@ciaraloves (or @perseusjackson-jasongrace ig) LOOK AT ME DOING THE THING

As soon as Nico left the locker room, Piper pounced on him. Literally.

He was forced to take a step back and caught her by the shoulders, “What’s up?”

She was practically vibrating with excitement, “Annabeth’s back!”

“Really?”

“Yeah! Come on!” She grabbed his hand and yanked him through the hallways and into the main rink where a crowd of people had formed next to the bleachers.

It was the rest of the team and in the center was Annabeth, a duffle bag slung over one shoulder, looking exhausted as all hell but she was grinning as the team peppered her with questions and play-by-plays of the practices she’d missed.

Piper shouldered them into the center so Nico was directly in front of Annabeth, Piper on one side and Calypso on the other.

“Hey, Nico,” Annabeth said, still grinning. She stepped forward for a hug and he let her, burying his face into her neck and breathing, already feeling the responsibility leaking from his tight shoulders. Annabeth was like a big sister to him, not that he’d ever admit that, but still.

“You want to get out?” Nico whispered into her neck.

“Yes,” She whispered back emphatically. Nico could barely stop himself from laughing but as they pulled apart he saw the genuine relief in her eyes and felt himself worrying. He needed to talk to her, about the team and skating, about Will and of course, if she needed to talk about why she’d been gone for so long, he’d do that too.

Apparently, Calypso recognized that too and, bless her heart, muttered something to Leo, and together they captured the team’s attention, allowing Nico to tug Annabeth away from the crowd and out of the rink. She sighed as soon as they were ejected onto the city streets. Nico stuck an arm out and she smiled and linked their arms.

“Where are you headed?” Nico asked as they walked the short distance to the car garage.

“Oh, probably just my apartment.”

Nico nodded, “I wasn’t sure if you’d be staying with your dad or not.”

She shook her head, “He doesn’t even know I landed yet. I’ll head over in the morning.”

Her voice was stiff and Nico took that as his cue to change the subject. “So I have something to confide in you.”

She perked up almost immediately and he swallowed hard. But she just looked at him with those gray eyes and he reminded himself that this was Annabeth. That she wasn’t going to get angry with him.

At least, he hoped not.

“I’m talking to one of the hockey players,” He said casually.

Her grip on his arm stiffened and he braced himself but she was still just looking at him.

Finally, she grinned, “So when you say ‘talking to’...”

He groaned and felt himself flush, “Oh, shut up! Just friends.”

She hummed and released his arm to dig for her keys in her jacket pocket. “Is he nice?”

“No, he’s a dick,” Nico said sarcastically.

Annabeth rolled her eyes, but she was still smiling. “I don’t know why I even bother.”

“He’s blonde,” Nico offered.

“Oooh,” Annabeth drawled.

He rolled his eyes and she burst out laughing, her voice echoing off the stone walls of the parking garage.

“Is he gay?” Annabeth asked.

Nico nearly flinched and passed it off with another eye roll, “I don’t know, Annie, that’s not something that’s come up in casual conversation.”

She glared at him and Nico, being the mature adult he is, stuck his tongue out at her. She did it back then shook her head. “Too much time with Percy,” She muttered and Nico snorted. She grinned at him.

“So he’s okay?”

That sobered her immediately. “Yeah. Well, as okay as he can be. I’m only here for like two weeks because he insisted I come back, but I’m leaving as soon as possible,” She glanced sideways at him, “Not to leave you alone again, though.”

He shrugged off the flash of selfish hurt he’d felt, “I’m good, Beth.” But he wasn’t good. He’d just told her about Will, and not even the start of the way his stomach would twist when he saw a new text from the hockey player and not the same twist when he panicked. And that also meant his chances of performing solo again were climbing. He didn’t know how to feel about that part.

“Stop that!” She exclaimed, halting once they’d reached her car.

“Get some sleep, Annabeth,” He said genuinely then smirked a little, “It looks like you need it.”

She threw a balled-up receipt she’d found in her bag at him, “Dick!”

~~~~

“Hey, Nico.”

Nico nearly leaped out of his skin, spinning to see Persephone in the living room.

She snorted, “Didn’t mean to scare you, sorry. Did practice go well?”

His phone buzzed in his pocket, “Yeah. Annabeth’s back.”

Persephone hummed, reaching up to untwist her hair, sending it cascading down her shoulders, “That’s good. I know you’ve missed her,” She said with a knowing look in her eyes that made him shift uncomfortably.

“Yeah, definitely, um, I’m tired we learned some new moves for Regionals today, so,”

“Yeah of course.” She was still smiling.

“‘Night Persephone,”

~~~

Nico flopped face-down onto his bed with a groan. He knew Persephone though he had a crush on Annabeth; he didn’t blame her, he’d never really made it a point that he didn’t. He wished he could come out to her and his dad, he didn’t really have a reason why he hadn’t besides the weight of anxiety on his lungs.

His phone buzzed again, and he wriggled upright to yank it out of his pocket.

Will: Distract me

Will: My mom is driving me insane

Nico grinned to himself, both of them were dealing with mommy issues at the moment.

Nico: idk how you expect me to distract you

Will: Just tell me about snakes or smth

Nico: you think i just have fun facts about snakes on hand?

Will: Yeah?

Nico: good

Nico: cause i do

Will: :)

Nico: snakes can slither 12.5 mph

Will: Good lord

Nico: snakes have internal ears but not external ones

Will: ??

Nico: they can’t create their own body heat which is why theyre in the sun all the time

Will: Hmmmm

Nico: they smell w/their tongues

Will: I thought they had nostrils??

Nico: they do

Will: what

Nico: it’s their Jacobson’s organ my dude it works in mysterious ways

Nico: not really but yk

Nico: sCieNcE

Will: ok….

Nico: if you get bored of snakes i’ve also got a bunch of random cheetah facts

Nico: i love cheetahs

Nico: very cool

Nico: fast cats

Will: Lmao go ahead

Nico: but first

Nico: why’s your mom driving you insane

Nico: if you want to tell me ofc

Nico: not trying to be weird

Will: Nah you’re fine

Will: She wants me to focus entirely on med school and not hockey

Will: She’s trying to get me out of it, actually

Will: Do something ‘respectable’

Will: Not turn out like my dad

Will: Even though dad has literally NOTHING to do with hockey

Will: And in my opinion he’s not bad. Not great. Not awful yk

Will: But hockey’s what’s putting me through med school so

Will: Gods, I really just burdened you with that I’m so sorry

Nico: med school huh

Nico: now i can say i know a doctor

Will: In training

Nico: close enough

Nico: you’re a great hockey player and you're going to be a great doctor

Nico: and you can always talk to me, will

Nico: you’re not burdening me with shit

Will: thanks <3

Nico didn’t understand why he blushed. It was a goddamn emoji. Calm down, Di Angelo.

Will: So we’ve been talking for a few weeks now. Can I call you my friend yet?

Nico snorted, feeling like he was fifteen again, sprawled on his bed, in the dark (because for some reason he didn’t turn his lights on) late at night, texting his- well, anyway.

Nico: yea dumbass

Nico: we’re friends

Will: Nice

Will: Now give me cheetah facts you adorable nerd

~~~

WILL

“Will? You good?”

Will blinked, Jason coming in to focus in front of him. “Uh, yeah.”

“That was believable,” Clarisse said sarcastically from behind Jason.

Will attempted to shake the fog from his head, “Yes,” He repeated.

Jason just blinked at him and Will was formulating an excuse for why he was so tired besides the fact that he’d spent all night talking to a cute figure skater with a ridiculous amount of animal facts stored in his small body when Coach Hedge’s voice boomed from his seat on the bleachers, “Solace! You alive?”

“Yes, coach!” Will shot back.

“Then why are you just standing there? Get back to the game! You too, La Rue and Grace!”

“Yes, sir!” They all barked back.

Clarisse gave him a once over before skating back to her goal and Jason went over to Will’s spot with him, “You sure you’re alright?”

“Yeah, just tired.”

Jason opened his mouth, probably to question why the mom friend of their group was tired enough he nearly tripped over his stick but Will just said, “It’s fine, Jase. It’s not a big deal.”

“Grace!” Coach Hedge screeched.

Jason gave up on trying to interrogate Will and skated back over to his spot.

~~~~

“Mama, please,” Will tried, but his mother cut him off.

“Willaim. Hush. How’s that girl you said you were dating?”

What?

He was silent for a beat too long.

“Oh, baby,” His mother’s thick southern accent drenched her words. “You broke up? I’m so sorry.”

Oh gods, Lou Ellen Blackstone.

Will and Lou Ellen had dated for two months a long time ago, and when they were still dating he’d told his mother about her to get her to back off of his personal life a little. Their break up hadn’t had a huge fallout, Lou Ellen had told him through tears in his living room that she was aromantic. They were still friends, had been even before they dated, actually, and talked to each other pretty regularly.

But the problem was, that had been three months ago, and he hadn’t told his mother about their breakup. He knew she’d ask why, and he didn’t want to out Lou Ellen or make her a devil in his mother’s eyes. So he’d procrastinated coming up with a reason until he’d forgotten about it entirely.

And now it had come back to bite him in the ass.

“Yeah we broke up a little while ago,” He forced himself to sound choked up, which wasn’t hard, giving the way his panicked brain was now sprinting in circles on his lungs. “I just didn’t disappoint you.” Probably the most honest thing he’d said in weeks, but that’ll be unpacked later.

“Honey,” She sighed sadly and Will didn’t know whether or not that was on his behalf or hers.

“Well, it’s okay, because I’m dating someone new.”

“Oh?” He could hear her spine straighten. “Is it someone I know?”

No, mom, it’s not one of the country girls I grew up with.

“No,” He winced at how southern he sounded. He’d been talking to his mother for five minutes. “You don’t know him.”

HIM. Good Gods, Will. Yeah, you came out as bi to your mom, but still, you haven’t actually mentioned a guy to her yet.

She was silent for so long his heart joined his brain in the track meet happening on top of his lungs. “What’s his name?”

He was so she’d spoken that he blurted, “Nico.”

What. The. Fuck. Willaim.

Apparently, his heart had won that damn track race.

“Well, what I was leading up to before you told me about what happened,”

Will hummed non-committally, trying not to sound like he was taking relieved breaths as she spoke.

“The family’s come for a reunion and you should bring that boy!” Will choked on his spit.

“Mom, I don’t know about-”

“No, William. There isn’t a set date yet so we can work around your schedule,” Fuck. “I insist, Will. I need to meet this boy you clearly like very much, even though all you’ve said is his name, a mother knows.”

Umm, what.

“Sure,” Will said, sounding a little strangled. “But we have a game this weekend.”

“Alright, William.” She sounded the way she always did when he brought up hockey. “But as I said, we can work around your schedule and his. Talk to him about it, and let me know.”

“Yeah. Yeah,” Will repeated. “I’ll do that.”

She hung up and he was left staring at the wilting daisies at his kitchen table.

What had he just done?

[raitrolling]

ok so i Think ive got linnae’s backstory figured out

Linnae’s ancestor, [title goes here] was an apprentice to a certain mage known as Ephrey Prelat. While he played no part in the creation of Ephrey’s infamous cursed book collection, he was known as an equally powerful mage in his own right. his power was feared by many, and while he just wanted to keep to himself and further his studies, the other tyrians saw him as a threat to the empire and after god knows how many attempts at taking him down, finally had him killed (for good. turns out a mage is even harder to kill when theyre also a shifter lmao)

[NPC name goes here], a seadweller obsessed with occult artefacts and especially Ephrey Prelat’s Collection, catches wind that a descendant of [ancestor] has recently hatched and left the caverns. knowing that the descendant must be a troll with the potential to become an incredibly powerful mage, he seeks to capture and cull the wriggler himself before they can develop their magic abilities and become another society-ending threat. unfortunately, Linnae happens to be a tyrian and [NPC] is a hemospectrum-abiding purple seadweller, so culling a wriggler belonging to the rare royal class is a major social faux pas. 

[NPC] instead decides the next best thing is to ‘raise’ Linnae himself, but keep him hidden from the rest of the world so that he can be contained and moulded into a simple, innocent troll. he entrusts the help of some of his seadweller friends and his servants to raise the kid, who is confined to a secret area within his hive with no idea of the outside world

this goes on uninterrupted for 11 sweeps, and Linnae grows up unknown to the rest of the world (aside from his leafy sea dragon lusus, who still searches the ocean in hope to one day be reunited with his charge). Fucked Up Child Psychology Experiments ensue, as [NPC] wants to take no chances that Linnae becomes educated enough to become curious or dissatisfied of his living conditions, and is taught to be dependent and obedient towards his captors. he literally knows nothing but the few rooms he calls his home, that people bring him meals three times a night, and that occasionally other people will come in to tell him stories or provide him with some mild entertainment

Meanwhile, [NPC] is still off dealing in occult artefacts and trying to get his hands on as many Prelat books as possible. he ends up getting involved in one too many shady deals, and a rival seadweller in the same occult circles arranges a hit on him

[NPC] and all his friends + servants are assassinated, however because no one knew of the tyrian trapped in the hidden rooms, Linnae is spared

In fact, Linnae is completely unaware of what has happened until a couple nights have passed since someone has entered his room to deliver food. concerned, hungry, and probably a little scared, Linnae finally does the first thing he’s ever done out of his own free will: he opens the door to look for the servants

He, of course, is quite horrified to discover the two-day-old corpses strewn about the hive, and while he doesn’t understand concepts like murder and death, knows instinctively that something Bad has happened here and he can no longer live in this hive unless he wants to end up like them

He flees the hive, and wanders about aimlessly until he eventually comes across the city he now resides in today. cue the biggest culture shock of his goddamn life as he learns that his captors fucked up a perfectly good tyrian. look at him hes got anxiety

[wisherbysharlight]

WHAT IF... SANDERS SIDES BUT MAKE IT A TROPEY TEEN BEACH AU

Endgame!LAMP. Dukeceit, Remile

Just 2k stream of consciousness words from a plunny that grew legs TW for v slight underage drinking, one joking mention of violence, and a non-specific discussion of intrusive thoughts

-Janus has just moved there because his parents wanted to start a new "adventure" and he is a Stereotypical Teenager. Very "ugh MOM I wanna go back to my FRIENDS for my LAST SUMMER BEFORE COLLEGE"(most of his friends suck. He should not spend time with them. He does not know this)

His Parents buy him a surfboard and tell him to try it out as a way to get him to Shut Up

Hes a Skater Boy(cue music) so he picks it up super fast from like,,, youtube videos

 -He gets told to Get a Job if he wants to like, keep buying surf gear?

All the local kids work at like one restaurant/yacht club type place right on the beach

Janus gets hired as a host

 -Logan is a beach badge checker, Patton, Roman, and Remus are beachfront restaurant waiters but Roman just Really Wants To Surf, Emile and Virgil are Lifeguards, and Remy is a bartender

 -Janus is Very Good At Customer Service because Fake Smiles

Patton recognizes this Immediately

He shows him the Rage Closet which is a tiny room with an arm chair that locks from the inside where you can punch a pillow on your break when it gets to be Too Much

-Janus is Attached now and there is no getting rid of him

Patton Fully Endorses this and introduces him to the rest of the group

Janus Knows Immediately that LAMP is In Love but says nothing because he aint no snitch

-Remus surfs, but he also always wear a thong while doing it

Roman wears a full wetsuit and somehow still gets Board Rash. Remus is somehow immune and it infuriates him

 -Janus, not knowing that the twins live right on the beach cuz they are RichTM: Hey Ree I kinda wanna learn how to surf would you be able to teach me 

Remus, who religiously watches Janus surf every morning, but is absolutely willing to play this game: Yeah absolutely

Patton, later: “lets rinse off at the twins they’re right here” Janus: theyre.... What?!

 -Meanwhile, elsewhere, Virgil and Roman are double teaming Logan to drag him into the water with them cuz he’s pouting about losing a debate with their manager about how he didn’t really be mean to the dudebro who wanted to get his buddies onto the beach without paying, he was just enforcing the rules. And if the dude was so offended by Logan’s Very Accurate Dragging that he complained to management then, well, that’s his problem not Logan’s

 -Logan is never without a book. Ever. And its always a different book. Janus is starting to think he owns a library

One day he is just... reading a Physics textbook. Not taking notes or anything. Just reading. 

Roman is Very Very Alarmed by this because he is Gay and Math is Scary

"Roman I'm also gay that is not a determining factor"

"Yeah but you can't drive"

"...fair"

 -the first time janus has a shift with the twins, he cant stop staring, not just because hes like,,, super attracted to Remus but also because they are like Chaos Incarnate and yet somehow get the most tips??? He doesn't understand???

It's just cuz they are both Huge Flirts and Flatterers and the patrons dont care that they're not-so-subtly beating the shit out of each other right there on the dining floor because theyre just so charming

 -one of the bartenders gets aggressively snapped at by a customer and called "sweetheart" and before Janus can even begin to react Remy is there, sunglasses off, fire in his eyes, telling them to settle their bill and get the fuck out

Janus, used to City Restaurants- "Wont you get in trouble with the owner?!"

Remy, who knows Nothing Else But This- "What?? Not likely I only did it cuz Thomathy wasnt here to do it himself"

 -the restaurant is closed Monday and Tuesday so that is the Pseudo Weekend for the staff where everyone hangs out at the beach

Emile and Virgil take Tuesdays off but still work Monday’s cuz they feel better being the one watching over their friends

 -Roman, staring at Virgil on the lifeguard stand: ugh he’s so pretty I almost wish I was drowning just so he could give me cpr 

Janus: you wanna potentially get your ribs broken just for lip contact? 

Remy, staring at Emile on the lifeguard stand: listen, if that’s what it takes, I’ll take it

Remus, immediately going up to the lifeguard stand because he has 0 impulse control: hey my brother and cousin want you to break their ribs 

Virgil and Emile: excuse me?????

 -Patton will literally spend hours in the water. Logan physically drags him out to put sunscreen on him every two hours to the minute. Patton does not admit that he purposely "forgets" just so Logan will do so

Logan is Dark and has never used sunscreen ever but Patton is so pale and he just gets so concerned about him. Patton thinks its adorable

He has pages of research on proper spf determination.

Roman and Remus use spf 15 just on their faces and have never once burned in their lives

Logan wants to submit them for scientific study because that shouldnt be possible

Virgil calls Logan out on the fact that he also should be wearing sunscreen and Logan like... blue screens he cant believe in all his research he missed that

 -Patton is like... a ridiculously strong swimmer. Virgil still has a heart attack every time he goes for laps when there is the slightest hint of an undertow

Patton Knows This so he tries to stay in Virgil's sight line for the most part if there is an undertow. Or just dives over the waves again and again.

His nickname is Ariel. He thinks its just cuz of the swimming and the fact hes a red head. LAP all separately also tack on that its the swimming, the red hair, and the hnng pretty 10/10 would follow out to sea ala Prince Eric

 -first beach bonfire Janus goes to Remy is Fully In Emile's Lap like... half an hour in

he has had like maybe a sip of a beer

Remus says he still claims this is because he is a Clingy Drunk

no one will call him on it, least of all Emile

 -there is truth or dare. Roman may or may not skinny dip you have no proof

 -Logan gets infuriated that he cannot roast a marshmallow properly

Patton does it perfectly every single time but its ok cuz he shares and Logan eats it right from his fingers and Roman and Virgil are just in the background Trying and Failing not to be the Most Jealous

Patton thinks theyre upset they didn't get marshmallows and makes some for them too and there is lots of Significant Eye Contact involved

Janus is going to spontaneously combust if they don't get their shit together

 -Janus is out walking on the beach one night on a full moon cuz he cant sleep with everything so quiet around here when he sees a bright green patch out in the water and goes ...wait

he calls out to Remus and he comes into shore and is like "waves are perfect at night you should join me" so janus goes back and gets his board and they surf and chat for like the entire night

Janus finds out Remus couldn't sleep cuz intrusive thoughts were keeping him awake

Janus listens and doesn't judge, just lets Remus talk it out

They go back to shore and fall asleep on the sand next to each other like mid sentence still talking, now about whatever creative business idea Remus had, and get woken up by Logan's morning rounds like "come on guys you know you're not allowed to sleep out here" but they dont care theyre both just *blushing emoji*

-Logan Always Has A Notebook right? And a regular book he reads. And everyone assumes they are like Notions and Observations, but no, it’s actually blank paper and he uses it to sketch and then one day he leaves it behind and someone either Virgil or Patton finds it and flips through it and it’s all sketches of them and Roman and they’re like??? Actually really good? Anyway that’s how they find out Logan is actually minoring in art even though he’s majoring in something Very STEM 

And he never told his best friends because like almost all his pre college art is Them and he doesn’t want to be caught having Feelings and by the time it gets to college it’s been too long and he can’t tell them now 

Roman takes one of the sketches of him surfing and makes it his profile picture on All Social Media He Has and Logan is so flustered he nearly breaks his damn phone

Patton is so offended he didn’t get invited to Logan’s first showcase that he doesn’t talk to him for like two whole hours 

Virgil quietly asks if there is any art of all four of them, finds out there is, and makes a print and keeps it on his bedside table

 -They are all Pining Outwardly Now and its Worse

 -Remus : you have known them since pre-k please ask them out I beg of you 

Roman: You just dont get it 

Remus: I asked Janus out after 4 weeks what is your problem

 Emile: Virgil, I love you, you are my Partner in Anti-Drowning but you are so stupid 

Virgil: What???? All I said is that you and Remy are really cute and I'd love to be in a relationship like that 

Emile: I am not a violent person, Virgil, but I have the strong urge to smack you

 Patton, in the Rage Closet: They're all just so hOT and ReSPEctFUL 

Janus, waiting for his turn, trying to act like he cant hear him: I Am Looking Elsewhere

 Logan: I just don't understand why they were more upset that I didn't tell them than that I'd been making art of them for years?? Shouldn't that second part be worse??

Remy, who has been partial to Every Single One Of AMP Waxing Poetic About Logan: Yeah, no idea /s

 -the twins get into a surfing competition as a pair and everyone goes to see them and support them

Thomas airs the competition on every tv in the restaurant cuz he’s Proud of his Bois

They WIN cuz they are Creative and Talented and came up with all sorts of crazy tricks while they were fucking around in the water but it earns them Major Bonus Points for originality

 -Roman does the run off the podium and into Love’s arms trope with just like... whoever’s closest lets go Patton because he is a Waif and forced himself up front so he can see

The other two are Devastated because well shit but then Roman pushes through the crowd, still holding Patton’s hand, and gives them this smile and is like “remember in like second grade when we said we’d do everything together and made a pact on this beach”

Analogical: uhhhhhh yeah

Roman: holding you both to it. No take backs. This counts. Now kiss me, dammit, we WON and they DO MANY TIMES AND ITS REAL CUTE

 -Meanwhile dukeceit have Mysteriously Disappeared and No One wants to be the ones to go find them. They show back up, eventually. Janus has a branch in his hair and remus' hair is sticking straight up and when he opens his mouth roman glares at him and tells him in no uncertain terms that they do not want to know

 AnYWaY these are my children and I will gladly answer any questions about them. I left out Janus Backstory and Creativitwins Angst and Many Individual LAMP Scenes and Remile/Dukeceit getting together and Epilogue but can absolutely provide such things on request

[ary-se]

Mankai with a dog

i was staring at my dog earlier, aggressively barking at a plastic bag. that's all. the rest is history

• at some point taichi just mentioned something along the lines of, "hey, wouldn't it be more fun here if... WE GET A DOG!?"

• whenever an idea spreads around the dorm, whether it's a good idea or an utterly ridiculous one, it's always either taichi or kazunari.

• IT'S ALWAYS EITHER TAICHI OR KAZUNARI (2).

• sakuya is excited about it! he never knew what it feels like to live with a dog, let alone actually grow up with one. this pure bean just wants to experience it, c'mon man...

• muku also agrees!! 100% yes!!! wouldn't it be cute when you get home everyday from school with a dog greeting you? it's like that one shoujo manga...

• tsumugi likes the idea! he also grew up with a dog (gosh dachshunds are so cute... zabi ily with my whole heart) so it wouldn't be too bad to have a dog in the dorm! apparently dogs can help you out a lot when it comes to emotional problems :)

• the moment these three angels literally agreed with the idea, everyone is ABOARD. it would be like taking care of a child except it's 100x times more fun

• actually no scratch that, not everyone is aboard...

• cause there's SAKYO.

• "WHAT'RE YOU GUYS GONNA DO ABOUT THE DOG?? DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF IT??? IT'LL ALSO TAKE MONEY TO BUY FOOD DISPENSER, DOG FOOD, YADDA YADDA YADDA"

• see it's all about money in the end, but sakyo. we know you want it too. god just pls say yes.

• a LOT of pleading - either the boys shoot sakyo puppy eyes whenever they see him, or some of them (by some i only mean taichi and kazu) waits outside sakyo's room and bleed his ears off with saying PLEASE repetitively the moment sakyo goes out of his room

• sakyo murdered everyone who barged into his room but they always, ALWAYS do it anyways. they don't learn their lesson!!

• SAKYO GOT FED UP. begrudgingly, after this has been going on for a month, he says yes

• EVERYONE CHEERS, FREAKING FINALLY!!!

• taichi and kazu, the mankai boys already aborted their plan of holding a funeral for the both of you... before sakyo agreed on getting a dog, he always has this look of wanting to strangle them to death

• after a lot of debating, they decided to settle on a dog that has a friendly disposition. anyways they get a light brown labrador!!!

• the day the dog got in the dorm, everyone got so excited

• everyone is literally ALL OVER THE DOG. THE DOG LIKES THE ATTENTION BUT GIVE IT A BREAK!! JUST PLEASE

• they name the dog koro! it's simple enough

• (i just searched for popular dog names in japan... don't @ me pls sobs)

• that night the dog kept wagging his tail from being so excited with everyone's presence he deadass sprained his tail

• it recovered after a week

• everyone takes turns filling koro's food bowl and water bowl. the duty of walking the dog is also distributed based on when the boys are free. they literally have a calendar dedicated for koro

• tsumugi makes a list of what the dog can and can't eat! it's most likely that everyone will feed koro, so they better not kill him off early...

• everyone follows the list except juza, it seems like he forgot the existence of the list

• one time juza was eating chocolate cupcakes, and koro was giving him puppy eyes

• how could he resist that face!! his inner resolve crumbled so fast, he was literally about to give it to koro

• tsuzuru to the rescue! the moment he saw juza and koro, he yelled "JUZA NO DON'T PLEASE STOP DOGS CAN'T EAT CHOCOLATE"

• juza just looks at tsuzuru, shocked. what do you mean dogs can't eat chocolate?? how do they even live their lives without the goodness of chocolates?? WHAT?

• he fails to understand, but he doesn't give it to koro. the dog whimpers and just goes away,, juza felt so bad and silently apologized to koro, but now he learned his lesson

• omi spoils koro!! every time he has free time, he whips something up for koro. he makes it as balanced as possible, of course.

• everyone to omi: "please don't make the dog fat."

• omi: "haha i won't"

• cue next day koro kinda looks chubbier

• OMI. PLEASE WE KNOW THE DOG IS CUTE BUT PLS CONTROL IT

• no joke, tenma was excited at first but now every time he sees the dog barking he gets scared shitless.

• JUST BECAUSE THE DOG BARKS AT YOU THAT DOESN'T MEAN THE DOG IS MAD AT YOU. IT JUST WANNA BE FRIENDS YOU FREAKING DOLT

• when he got comfortable with koro, he hid from everyone and patted the dog for the first time, and ran away immediately from embarrassment

• that night everybody was questioning why tenma gets beet red every time koro gets near him. but nobody mentioned it.

• on a whim, itaru let koro pull for a limited banner, making his paw tap the button. who knows if this dog is kinda lucky, right? there's no way of knowi-

• HE GETS ALL THE LIMITED CARDS IN ONE 10X PULL

• itaru just gapes at the dog for five minutes. "koro, you are a godsend..."

• itaru hid the dog's insane luck from banri, but somehow banri caught on

• "THAT'S UNFAIR! WHY WERE YOU HIDING IT FROM ME"

• from that point forward whenever itaru and banri play together, expect koro to be with them. it occurs a lot of times, but koro doesn't seem to mind as long as he gets belly rubs.

• congratulations masumi!! you now have a new alarm clock, but a million times MORE annoying!!

• they trained koro so every time masumi doesn't wake up, koro will just pounce and literally jump on him while barking right on his ear

• masumi hates to admit it, but the dog is goddamn annoying and it's effective at the same time

• hooray to masumi for not being late ever again!

• tasuku just stares at koro dead in the eye while the dog looks at his meal. what if i also train him to..?

• one day during winter troupe's rehearsals, hisoka was actually super duper early and that NEVER HAPPENED.

• "HISOKA WHY ARE YOU SO EARLY?? IS SOMETHING WRONG??"

• turns out TASUKU TRAINED KORO FOR A SOLID MONTH TO FIND HISOKA.

• once tasuku says "koro, where's hisoka?" the dog nyooms to WHERE HISOKA ACTUALLY IS. is he on the tree? in the washing machine? in the long-lost, ever changing storage room? you name it sir

• the days of painfully looking for hisoka are over! tasuku can finally catch a break! this is a big win for winter troupe!!!

• homare just blabs his poems to the poor dog. always.

• it's been going on for five hours and koro is so tired of his shit he just settles on trying to bury his ears on the ground just to not hear him. i am so sorry for your loss.

• homare pets him after he is done with his long ass session so guess that's worth it!

• tsuzuru didn't necessarily train koro to do it, but somehow whenever tsuzuru is in a writing spree the dog just grabs a can of red bull from itaru and brings it to his room.

• tsuzuru doesn't even realize it's the goddamn dog. HE DEADASS JUST TAKES THE CAN AND SAY THANK YOU AND CONTINUE WRITING THE SCRIPT

• everyone just assumed tsuzuru trained koro to actually do that. PLEASE LET THE DOG LEARN NORMAL DOG TRICKS HE ISN'T YOUR MAID

• "I DIDN'T TRAIN KORO!!!"

• Whenever it's misumi's turn to walk the dog, koro joins him in his triangle hunting! koro picked up misumi's habits, so koro picks up triangular objects from time to time and gives it to misumi. d'awwww!

• misumi please don't expect the dog to join you running on walls. please don't. everyone's gonna hunt you down once something happens :)

• citron is super affectionate to the dog! koro is so attached to him and koro listens to citron babbling even tho he understands jackshit

• "back in my country, i am known as the glorious legendary master of dog b-"

• "yes citron. we get it."

• CITRON MAKES A KORO JR. MY HEART MY SOUL I OFFER TO YOU

• it's the dog's fave toy!!! he sleeps with it.

• yuki enjoys making anything for the dog. a dog bed? clothes? accesories? toys? HECK YEAH BRING IT ON SIR

• yuki isn't touchy feely with the dog but that's how he shows his love for koro!! it's okay, the dog understands!!

• koro is literally drowning in all those handmade stuff, spoiled by the only yuki

• whenever it's yuki's turn to walk the dog, he wears matching outfits with the dog as he buys more fabric for the next play (and for the dog but we don't mention that)

• THEYRE KINGS! literally a head turner. everyone just looks at them in awe. yuki wanna show off

• like citron, sakuya is super affectionate to the dog!

• he always gives bear hugs to the dog, especially when he is feeling anxious about something! koro's presence calms sakuya down big time

• please protect these small beans

• muku also loves the dog to death!! every time they arrive at home from school koro just jumps to them and he enjoys it so much

• at times when muku wants company when reading his shoujo manga, or just wants something to hug, koro does the job

• affectionate babies. please protect (2)

• koro is super affectionate when it comes to azuma.

• every after koro gets really excited about something, he gets dead tired so he goes straight to azuma's room.

• do you want to know what azuma does to koro? hmmmm? :---)

• they sleep together! duh

• taichi ALWAYS plays with the dog. it's like two dogs bonding smh

• taichi gets confused whenever they play catch?? whenever koro finally gets the ball, he runs back to taichi but doesn't give him the ball

• "umm, koro? we wouldn't be able to continue playing if you don't give the ball?"

• koro: NO GET ONLY THROW

• kazunari has a lot of aesthetic pics of koro! they're so wholesome, there was a point when his instablam is just full of koro

• ok he does have a lot of funny videos too, that's unavoidable

• best one so far was muku tossing the ball for koro to catch it, but he threw it too far and it hit sakyo's head at the back

• RUN FOR YOUR LIFE MUKU OH MY GOD

• sakyo was about to lose his shit but once he saw muku apologizing and rambling he felt bad.

• should it be mentioned that cleaning sessions are more of a pain than before?

• the dog sheds a LOT MORE than they expected. the fur is literally fucking everywhere

• how does one dog have this much hair??

• those ppl with big sisters (cough itaru and banri) SWEARS this dog's shedding is a hundred times worse than their sisters' hairfall

• speaking of shedding everywhere, everyone's clothes have fur ALL OVER their clothes

• most especially sakyo because he wears all black. poor old dude

• after a month of deliberation from sakyo, they decided to buy more lint rollers and all that stuff that are supposedly effective

• every time the students are late to school, the dorms get chaotic

• unfortunately for everyone the dog joins in adding more noise pollution

• THE DOG DRAMATICALLY BARKS WHENEVER EVERYONE IS PANICKING. IT FEELS LIKE WAR

• cue sakyo's very angry "KORO, SHUT UP!"

• koro didn't bark for a solid week... just pure whimpering. everyone was looking at sakyo like, "you better apologize, he doesn't deserve it..."

• when it was sakyo's turn to walk him, koro looks like he was about to shit. everyone was pretty concerned, but they wanted to see how it went

• the moment they came home, koro was all over him and sakyo is hiding a smile

• SOMETHING DEFINITELY HAPPENED.

• but what happened? nobody knew a thing. and it will stay that way.

• EVERYONE IS SOFT FOR HIM. not taking no for an answer

[parkersbliss]

Quarantime: Haricut Addition

pairing: platonic!avengers x reader, can be Peter Parker x Reader

warnings: no-no words

wc; 900ish

a/n: inspired by Tom’s live, don’t try this at home, but if you do let me know

Masterlist | Taglist | Prompt List

Quarantime, Quarantime: Cat addition

after three months of being quarantined, peter needed a hair cut

you honestly didn't know how he was able to keep it this long in the first place

same for bucky, but no one was touching his hair

it was kind of weird walking around the compound

everyone's hair was just so... long

you didn't even recognize tony or nat

but nat killed it, she had started sassy hair flipping everyone

now, you would think that tony would invent a robot that would cut your hair

right??

wRONG

he said: "why waste my precious materials on something we can figure out by ourselves"

long story short, that why you're at the kitchen table trying to cut peter's hair

worse comes to worst he can wear a paper bag

besides, school ended so it's not like anyone would see him

well anyone that wasn't the Avengers

but this was his idea so

"are you sure about this?" you asked

"you said you could cut hair, right?"

"I like to think so."

"wHAt?"

"Whatever, yes, you'll look great. or you'll be bald."

"(Y/N)."

"Peter."

"ok! ok! just get it over with!"

you grab the spray bottle from the table beside you, misting over peter's hair

then spraying him in the face

"what was that for?!"

"fun," You shrug

you rake your hands through his hair, before roughly yanking his head back

"what the fUCK"

"language!"

"Sorry Steve!"

Peter sticks his tongue out at you and you respond with another spray of water

"I hate you"

"and yet I'm the one holding the scissors"

"I regret this already"

"When I'm done you'll regret it even more"

"Fuck you"

"lANGUAGE"

"IM SORRY"

"how do you turn these things on- OH GOD" you mumbled, flipping around the clippers before they clattered to the ground

"pETER THEYRE GETTING AWAY"

"Bruh I sWEAR"

you bend down to pick them up, grasping them tightly this time

peter looks terrified, eyes popping out of his head as he eyes the now weapon in your hand

you take a deep breath before letting them glide through the hair on the base of his neck

you continue the action, content with the results

"this is going good"

bucky walks into the room, harry styles jr trailing on his heels

"wHAt did you do to peter?" He said

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN" Peter screeches

"sit back down!" You hiss at him "trust the process!"

"that's why you said about our last chemistry experiment and you almost got expelled!!"

"that was chemistry! this is cosmetology, there's a difference"

"you're worse at this?"

"I won't hesitate, bitch"

peter stares at you before huffing and turning back around in his chair

you'd done enough damage already

liam payne jr enters the room, making himself comfortable on peters lap

"good now I know you won't escape" you smirk

"traitor" peter whispers to the kitten

"bucky, honestly, it isn't that bad, right?"

bucky walks over and grimaces, "it's not horrible."

"what does that mean?" peter asks

"it's not great, either. you should've grown your hair out like me."

"Ew no!" You said

peter rolls his eyes, "have you seen tony? He kind of looks like a dog"

as if on cue, the stark walks into the room, hair flopping in front of his eyes

"you would think if he can keep his facial hair in check, he could keep his actual hair as well," you whisper

bucky laughs and nods, "good luck," he said

"I don't need luck" you scoff

tony turns around, eyeing you and peter up and down, he sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose

"Mr. Stark-"

"No, no, no, I think I'm better off not knowing," He said before briskly walking away

loki walks in next, takes one looks at peter, before shaking his head sadly

"oh c'mon!" You sigh, "It's really not that bad."

Loki raises his brows at you, "Right."

at this point, Peter had lost all hope.

"I haven't even gotten to the scissors yet!" You whined

"for the sake of his hair, I hope you don't" Loki comments before disappearing

"(Y/N), is it really that bad?"

"no, they're just overreacting."

sam then proceeds to walk in and scream

"okay so you might need a paper bag???"

"(Y/N)!"

"I'm not finished yet! There's still hope!"

Thor walks in next, humming some Asgardian tune to himself

he looks over at you and peter

"you look like me when I first got me hair cut"

"Really??" Peter asked, hopeful.

"Yes!" Thor boasts. "just a tad bit, how you say? Uglier."

peter blinks once, twice, before shoving his head in his hands

you yelp, yanking the scissors away so you got off his ear

"peter! you can't just do that!"

"'m sorry," he apologizes.

you huff, feeling a bit guilty, "it doesn't look that bad, I promise. they're just teasing."

"promise?"

"Promise."

the rest of the cut went smooth, as no one else popped into the kitchen to disturb your masterpiece

"Viola!" You squeal. "you look great!"

Peter grabs his phone, opening up the camera to admire his new cut.

"It does!" He gushed.

"And you thought I'd mess it up!"

he apologizes to you before standing up and walking out of the kitchen

the rest of the avengers stand in the kitchen

"so who's going to tell him about the back?" Tony asked

everyone looks at each other

"let him find out for himself"

there's a shriek from the bathroom, oddly high pitched

then peter's running out of the bathroom

"(Y/N)!"

"SHIT"

"Language!"

"oH shut up, Steve!"

🏷 series tag: @bibbidibobbidibarnes @strangelycami @abitofeverythinggg @cams-lynn @cait-elizabeth @throughparisallthroughrome @ducks @keenmarvellover

strike though- tumblr won’t let me tag you

[sweet-potatoq]

ok i really wanna dive into this xicheng gymnast au ive got going on because its self-idulgent a really cool idea and ive been really interested in gymnastics recently (little angst bc im a weak bitch)

here are jiang cheng, nie huaisang, wei wuxian designs; ill add more as i draw

so jc, nhs, and wwx are popular rhythmic gymnasts and are a fan favourite in the fandom (?)

jc loves the ribbon but can also do club and rope; nhs does ball, ribbon and club; wwx can do all five (ribbon, ball, hoop, club, and rope) but he likes doing hoops the most

the three of them are pretty close since they have time to chitchat at the small louge area for resting; theyre also often called the powerpuff girls (ppg) since they wear red, green and purple (ik bubbles is blue but just roll w it)

jc has a no. 1 fan, like the biggest jc fan ever, and its a famous musician, lan xichen; literally his social media is filled with jc photos, fancams, and videos (sometimes he posts selfies with his jc merch that me probably made on his own)

ppg knows about lxc and teases jc about him so much

"did you see his face lighting up once it was jc's turn? he even brought a handmade light up banner for him omg"

jc is both flattered and annoyed (mostly because he gets teased a lot for it) but every gift lxc gives him (read: yeets on the floor) is treasured

its mostly bouquets of lotus flowers and teddy bears (there are times when he throws heavily a box safely wrapped in thick bubble wrap and tons and tons of tape and inside is just cute bracelets, necklaces and rings)

secret: jc wears it under his clothes and costume

secret secret: it sometimes comes out and lxc screams about it on twt

anyways, one day at a competition, ppg makes a bet that if jc gets a score higher than 18 in ribbons, then he has to go to lxc and ask him out

jc is torn bc he really wants a high score but is too shy to ask lxc out

spoiler: jc gets a 18.5 and now he has to approach lxc

jc's too shy to do it in person so he reaches out thru twt and dms him a

"hey uh i know ur like a big fan and i appreciate ur gifts but sometimes they look expensive anyways can i treat u to dinner to compensate"

LXC FREAKS OUT AND MESSAGES EVERYBODY HE KNOWS

lwj: do it, nmj: coward accept it, jgy: once in a lifetime opportunity, fucking do it pussy

spoiler #2: lxc accepts and jc takes him to a nice restaurant on a nice night out

its super awkward at first but once lxc takes over the conversation (mostly gushing about jc's techniques and routines) they find a nice flowing convo

"i had a great time" "me too!! im honoured to have had a dinner with my idol" "gay panic"

jc and lxc keep talking thru twt dms until they finally exchange numbers

"huan-ge" "CHENG CHENG 😭🥺💖"

they eventually go out again, and again, and again, until finally lxc gets brave and asks him out ON A DATE!!! as if the other hangouts arent dates 🙄

now theyre B O Y F R I E N D S ~ ✨

but secret bc jc is still new to everything and is lowkey overwhelmed by it, lxc agrees and does his best to make jc more comfortable and make him feel loved

they do fight over how jc's still being cold after months of dating and the fact that their relationship is still a secret doesnt help AT ALL

after numerous fights about it, lxc breaks and unloads all of HIS insecurity

"ive been feeling like ive forced you into this relationship, that my love and adoration for you made you feel as if you needed to compensate for that like how you did when we first went out. you've been cold and reject my affection and it hurts me even though i know you've said that you're just not used to it, but jiang cheng, we've been dating for 8 months now and i was so sure that by this point you'd be more comfortable. i love you a-cheng but i feel like you dont love me back."

something in the lines of that but you get me right?

ANYWAYS lxc keeps his distance from jc and jc does the same bc shit he feels bad that he made lxc think and feel that way

ppg notice that jc has been acting weird and asks him abt it and jc opens up to them about his relationship with lxc and ppg just go from 👁️👄👁️ to 😬☹️😞 because yikes

nhs and wwx obvi helps him brainstorm ideas as to how to apologize and show lxc that jc truly loves him the same way but theyre so busy with training and practicing for finals wHEN SUDDENLY NHS GOES

"what if... you dressed... in a blue and white costume... and wore the gifts he gave..."

BOOM jc gets the same costume from his routine tailored in white and blue and gets a pearlescent ribbon, shining blue to purple and wears pretty cloud earrings and replaces his zidian ring with a matching cloud ring

he goes to his finals in that costume AND ALL HIS FANS RIOT

"holy SHIT jc is wearing blue???" "what happened to the old costume??" "its the same one but in blue??" "hes so handsome tho"

lxc is obvi there at the finals because he is first and foremost, jc's no. 1 fan

nmj and lwj are with lxc bc lxc needs emotional support, and with the added bonus of jc's beautiful costume and accessories, he just LOSES it and cries on the spot bc hes a softie

jc performs his routine, gets an unbelievable high score and wins a gold medal (deserve) and on the podium, he asks for a mic and tells the whole fucking world his feelings for lxc

"ive been dating lan xichen, my no. 1 fan, for 8 months and its been the best 8 months of my entire life. its been a secret to everybody we both know because i was too scared to say something, too scared that everybody would reject it and judge us. but now that i realized it has put a strain on our relationship, it made me think. why should i worry about this? why should i be scared? why, when i have him by my side to support me and love me? im so sorry huan-ge that ive made you feel unloved and unwanted because i do love you. i love you so fucking much and it hurts me that you feel this way because of me. i hope that you're here somewhere in the audience to hear this, maybe not since we're not okay, but know that ill do better. ill let myself love you wholy and freely from now on if you'll let me."

cue jc crying and lxc also crying (harder) and probably the whole world crying with them even lwj lets out a tear or two

cue cue lxc fucking jumping out the barracade, fall on his ass, running towards the podium, tripping and landing on his face, standing up and limping, then tackling jc and almost making them fall over bc lxc is chaotic like that

cue cue cue lots of crying and hugging and screaming from the audience and probably the medical team rushing in because holy shit lxc did that and jc is still hitting him for almost dying??

social media fucking blows up with numerous photos of jc, videos of jc's speech, photos and videos of lxc and jc and loads of support messages for the two of them

it ends with lxc posting numerous selfies of him and jiang cheng being lovey dovey with a really cheesy caption that probably goes like

"HE HAS NO RIGHT TO MAKE MY KOKORO GO DOKI DOKI" or "i love one (1) man and its my boyfriend- oops i meant fiance"

the end sksks theres other couples in this like wangxian and nieyao but really minor so i didnt put them in BUT how is this story? is it worth writing out? or is it ok as is?

[sootygoggles]

Parent!Paranoia Sanders Sides AU!

No explanation, but I'll probably give the backstory later. For now: memes of Paranoia being an A-class parent and a chaos gremlin. (okay it started as memes but then just ended up as fleshing the AU out)

~~

Paranoia, worried abt his kids: I'm uhhhh gonna go to my room see ya later light sides

Paranoia, sneaking back into the subconscious to check on his now teenaged children: I'm gonna leave duke a r a t that I found and thought looked cool

Duke, waking up the next morning and yelling for 'Nesty bc "HOLY CRAP NESTY LOOK AT THIS RAT ISN'T SHE ADORABLE I WANNA HANG HER ON THE WALL": !!!!!!!!!!

~~

Paranoia gets a habit of sitting on the fridge because his children were wild as kids and sometimes duke comin at you with a knife warrants jumping onto counters

~~

Nesty, who doesnt get paid to deal with duke: I'm raiding dads liquor cabinet it's my due for putting up with this

Paranoia, physically manifesting: put the key to the liquor cabinet D O W N, Honesty

~~

The lights are confused as to why he disappears at random times of the day and night and he just "leave me TF alone before I leave you a goshdarn diddly P R E S E N T while youre sleeping I'm tired"

~~

patton: my child! my dark strange son!!

paranoia, who has children: ,,,,yea ok

~~

Patton ticks him off so he leaves a big halloween decor spider on his bed and nobody sleeps for weeks after that bc pattons too scared to touch it and paranoia maybeperhaps glued it onto his cover

~~

He's like one of those people you know might mean well but ooooooo boy theyre pushin buttons

~~

Paranoia, whos fav animal/insect is spiders and whose children have tarantulas and snakes on the regular: hes not even realistic!! You need to learn to get along with mr sparkles patton!! look at him. he's fluffy!

~~

He has googly eyes and glitter on him at all times of course hes named mr sparkles

~~

paranoia gets to be a little petty. as a treat

~~

Paranoia just carries bags of glitter around and whenever mr sparkles gets duller he takes mr sparkles to the kitchen counter and he dumps glitter on him

Logan and patton are tired of cleaning up bc paranoias just petty enough to make their counters eternally sparkly

~~

"why is there glitter all over the kitchen?"

paranoia, holding mr sparkles: :)

~~

Paranoia, after AA: I hate purple but they dont know that now do they

Paranoia is actually orange the last side is purple lol

~~

Chaos Gremlin dark sides and nobody is surprised bc paranoia raised them

~~

paranoia, going back to see his teen children after acting like a teen all day: what is up, fellow kids

honesty: i am going to lose it

~~

Wrath, coming to yell at them to keep it down: why are you purple I'm purple

Paranoia, cackling bc finally I can get out of this horrible color: *snaps fingers * I'M PARANOIA MOTHERTRUCKERS HAVE FUUUNNNNN I'M GONNA BE MAKING YOUR LIVES LIVING HELL FROM THIS POINT FORWARDS

~~

duke and nesty, pumped for halloween bc u l t i m a t e s p o o k: :D

paranoia, coming out in a traffic cone costume with a shit eating grin on his face: :D

~~

Paranoia, decorating for halloween bc "oh I'm sorry it's just the *sniffles * homesickness and we a l w a y s decorated for halloween" knowing full well all of his decorations are spider and witch themed bc they all like the salem witch trials

~~

He leaves ONE fake snake in romans cereal and the lights just. Lose it. Hes kicked back into the subconscious to be chaotic with his kids, no new side, just the hours upon hours of film hes gotten from the bugs hed placed around the unconscious and a plan for the next several movie nights

He gets back and honesty is w h e e z i n g bc he was watching through the cracks and they make a fail compilation of the light sides

It takes like two months for the lights to just go insane with him around not due to yknow paranoia but bc hes such a gremlin

~~

Patton asks if he was raised by wolves and he shoves mr sparkles at patton saying "take the issue of how I was raised up with my father, a-hole!!"

He doesnt actually curse he just yells "A-HOLE" so loud his kids can hear

~~

They dont find out he's a dad until hes summoned and hes making cookies or smt with the kids and hes in a bright orange stereotypical witch outfit,,, corset and all and an apron that says "worlds most chaotic dad" on the front

And hes talking to one of the kids like "duke you can only put dish soap in your batch nesty cant digest it like you can"

~~

Patton has an apron that says worlds least chaotic 'dad' courtesy of paranoia he made it himself(read: he stole pattons good apron and scribbled over it in sharpie)

~~

Paranoia is always close to cackling when around the lights bc theyre newbs to any chaos

~~

Roman and remus are twins but roman is the kind of kid to promptly forget abt anyone and logan n patton knew remus less than a day before he "disappeared" aka ran to the subconscious to explore and theyve just kinda blocked him out

~~

Logans fine with it and actually likes the decorations tho he has asked if they had to be so brightly coloured and if there had to be so much glitter

I say decorations but hes a secret gremlin at heart and is super close to snickering at all times bc of the pranks

~~

Also yes paranoia mildly dads roman it's great but he dads in an older sibling type way

~~

So pat and logan are all "hes fitting in as an older brother well" and they tell him abt their approval of his older brother chaos and hes just like "no this is how I am deal with it nothing to do with brothers" bc hes not telling them abt his kids he doesnt trust them

~~

Hes up at like midnight complaining with logan abt how patton doesnt let him be full chaos gremlin and logan says "mmmhmm did your parents in the dark side let you go wild with the chaos" and paranoia just,,,,, looks at him, dead in the eyes, and says "I dont have parents"

Cue logan being confusion

Paranoia, who genuinely didn't have parents: my parents are mr sparkles and the cat we've had for my entire life

Logan, who doesnt know they had a cat and is now worried bc "are you taking care of it???": ???

Paranoia: it's great for keeping the Others in line tho I just say "do your chores or no snuggle time with ms peregrin" and they do their chores while I'm making dinner

logan, incredibly confused: i don't know what you mean but ok

Paranoia: yeah theyre dumb but it's the level of dumb youd expect from my idiots

~~

Or he slips up and refers to them as his children/kids and logan, not realizing they have an Actual Father/Sons relationship/age difference(paranoias abt.late 20s early 30s, remus defies all logic and has been about 9-10 for a few years now, and dees like early teens) just says "huh how.interesting would it be to have to deal with people your age that immature" and paranoias just. "Y e a h t h e y r e t o t a l l y t h e s a m e a g e a s I a m"

~~

Duke is very much baby and upon seeing duke eating glue paranoia and honesty the idiots decided to try it too

theyre so dumb dsdhdhdhjsdh

They AREEE and paranoia, after discovering that duke has the h a r d i e s t immune system they decide to test exactly what he can and cannot safely eat bc he may be dumb but hes also def a Dad and he just wants to take care of his kids and if that includes making sure that duke can safely consume toilet bleach then so be it

Duke can eat almost anything short of actual cyanide but cyanide just makes him sick like stomach bug sick

He somehow gets a fever,,,,, he has it for like half an hour and paranoia is amazed

Hes in bed,,,,, paranoia makes him soup,,,,,, hes all better and running around again

~~

Paranoias parenting rules:

Dont murder your brothers pls

Do your chores or no snuggle time with ms peregrin

Glitter is always a yes

Insults are fine just make sure you dont overstep and make your brothers insecure

all of them are printed and then the last one is scrawled at the bottom in

If you get sick, tell him immediately bc he will find out and he will be the most obsessive parent to make sure you feel better ASAP

If your pronouns/name/function change, tell him immediately, he'll make sure you dont feel uncomfortable as well as he can

Duke dont put dish soap in honestys baked goods you know he cant digest it

It's a nice system for making chaos but keeping it manageable

They're all printed then the last one's scrawled in glitter gel pen and duke wrote a reply that said (I'm sorry yall dont have as good an immune system as I do)

There was a whole passive aggressive arguement on the bulletin for the next week before it got taken down to make room for dukes art

They eventually started just putting them up over each other and using magnets instead of thumbtacks

The entire bottom portion of the walls are painted in chalkboard paint so theres no unerasable drawing on the walls and the rest of the paint is magnetic so they can hang pieces everywhere

Dukes improving rapidly tho and doesnt like looking at his old art all the time so paranoia holds onto the drawings in several filing cabinets in case he ever wants to do redraws or needs his original prints to make something in the Imagination

also bc,,, sentimental

jus a little

Yeah bc "yes my child draws nothing but blood gore and new animals but hes a creative genius and I love all of his art"

~~

Roman: anxiety I can see why you left

Paranoia: ??? What?? It's spoopy season??

Roman: there was BLOOD on the WALLS

Paranoia, internally: oh!!!! Duke perfected his blood recipe!!!!

Paranoia, externally: how did it taste?

Roman: WHO TASTES THE BLOOD ON THE WALLS?!?!

Paranoia: if it tasted like lemons or citrus you need to stay off of most foods, stick to crackers and broth- don't eat anything heavy until you're sure you wont throw it up

Patton, who was making cereal: ????

~~

Also!!!! @iliveinprocrasti-nation Thanks for helping me flesh this AU out!!!

[wolf-heart1197]

MASS EFFECT DS9 CROSSOVER PLEASE SHARE SOME THOUGHTS

You have. Opened a can of worms, friend.

WELL.

Ok so as far as set up i was picturing like. Wormhole/space magic shenanigans bringing the Normandy to DS9, set somewhere during that little window after Shep and Co. return from the Suicide Mission at the end of 2, but before Shep turns themself in to the Alliance.

The Normandy, badly damaged, limping up to this mysterious space station theyve never seen or heard of before, don't even recognize the outline or architecture, but hey at least they seem to be friendly? And they're offering to help fix our ship and get us back where we need to be so I guess they aren't all bad?

So then Shep and crew are stranded on DS9 for at LEAST a couple weeks while they try to get the Normandy fixed up, and allllll the shenanigans the respective crews get into, especially once they start interacting with each other

-There's the obvious of course, Shepard and Sisko would get along fantastically, I think. Both the leaders of crews of mixed bags, sometimes trying to get them to work together is like herding cats. Strong cats with guns and opinions, but at the end of the day they really are kind of a family, aren't they?

-Both are able to understand what was supposed to be one (relatively) simple mission turning into way more lives at stake than they signed up for (Shep with. Well. The entire events of the trilogy, but then Sisko too. Bring Bajor into the Federation. Thats it, that was the mission, but suddenly we're at war with a frankly stronger superpower from another quadrant and suddenly one station is supposed to be the head of it all? The pressure. The lives at stake if they fail. Yeah.)

As for the rest of the crew:

-The next obvious, I think, would Grunt and Worf. Very different methods and cultures, obviously. I'm not saying they'd necessarily GET ALONG even, but there'd be a mutual respect there, I think. Both coming from warrior races, fighting is in their blood, its what they know. And theyre both outsiders to their own culture, being raised primarily if not exclusively by Someone Else, having to fight for their right to have a place amongst their own people. There's a shared strength in that.

-Mordin and Garak, and their shared past as spies. Garak's penchant for lying with every other word out of his mouth vs Mordin's tendency to only say about half of the words in his sentences, each trying to weasel the truth out of the other. Each at the very least recognizing that theyve done horrible things in their past, but not necessarily having regrets for them. Well, no regrets they're willing to admit to.

-BUT THEN ALSO Mordin and Jadzia, really just. Best Science Bros. Mordin can be extremely focused, which I think might turn Jadzia off of him at first, up until she catches him singing under his breath while he works. And once their discussions start trending more towards the importance of art and culture alongside scientific advancement is when they really start to shine together. Also I think Mordin would be absolutely FASCINATED by the Trill, the symbiotic relationship and the symbiont carrying memories across hosts, how the symbionts and hosts merge, etc. Nothing like that really exists in the ME universe

-Julian and Dr. Chakwas could talk some about medicine, certainly, barring nothing else about the differences in their respective medical technology. But I think ultimately she would get tired of his attitude, and he would decide she didn't really have anything new to teach him.

-Julian, I think, would be much more interested in spending time with EDI and Legion. I mean, consider how he was in the one TNG episode, when he got to meet Data? He would be over the moon especially for a chance to study legion. The Geth Collective is genuinely an interesting idea, and I think he would be fascinated by the varrying levels of simulated intelligence, but without individuality. EDI would be an interesting study, because this would be before she got the mech body, so she would still for all intents and purposes "be" the Normandy. A ship as a living entity? With emotional attachment to the crew inside? Absolutely fascinating. And if it were a bit alter on that this happens? She has wants! And fears! Absolutely fascinating!

-Dr. Chakwas, on the other hand, would probably end up spending her time with Keiko O'Brien. Swapping stories about their times being forced to be on the relative sidelines, having to watch all the horrible things their loved ones are constantly dealing with and only being able to do so much. Keiko's exasperation with Miles and Chakwas' with Joker. (And Shepard). Plus really i just like to imagine them having tea together ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

-Kira Thane and Mordin I can picture spending hours upon hours deep in discussion, about ethics and morality and religion, and how the hell you're supposed to reconcile it all when you have so much darkness in your past.

-Kira and Thane, especially, have a lot to talk about. Kira fighting in the resistance her whole life vs Thane being raised as a living weapon, both deeply spiritual and refusing to believe that their respective peaces are denied to them, that they can still find their own redemption and make up for their pasts.

-Joker would spend a lot of time trying to avoid Julian, who I think would be very insistent on wanting to study his Vrolik's syndrome, and possibly trying to cure it. Joker really Does Not Like Him.

-Tali would inevitably spend a lot of time together with Miles, because assumedly they'd be working on fixing the Normandy together (when Miles isnt busy trying to fix one of DS9's 50 million other problems). I don't know that they'd honestly have much in common aside from engineering-related stuff, but they're both geniuses in their respective versions of their fields and comparing the 2 universe's technologies alone could take more discussion time than they would have.

-I don't think Jack would. Actually try to get along with anyone. I see her spending the vast majority if her time camping out in a holosuite trying to program it to let her kill simulations of everyone she's pissed at.

-Miranda and Julian. The two genetically engineered kids. Yeah there'd be a lot to talk about there. Parent drama? Feeling like you have something to prove?? Trying to find the "you" underneath the genetic tampering??? Yeah they'd get along.

-Ok hear me out on this but. I really think Garrus and Garak would end up having a lot in common. I mean, think about it: Cardassian military/goverment/cultural structure compared to the Turians? Love of state above all else, everything is for the State (but then family above even that). And on a more personal level? Getting into a profession, a LIFE, to impress your father and then it still isn't good enough, nothing will ever be good enough, so you keep trying and going to more and more extremes to be good enough and still nothing matters. And you haven't given up on your people, no, never, but they sure have seemed to give up on you, in a way, haven't they? Exiled (Garak), ignored at every turn (Garrus), but hey, here's this one human at least that'll listen to you, and maybe even help you where others won't, so maybe things aren't all bad? Garak lies through his teeth at every turn, Garrus knows this, but he knows where to pick up the specs of truth, too.

-Jacob, bless his soul, gets roped into "babysitting" Jake and Nog. Jake distracts him by taking advantage of his chill exterior, just long enough for Nog to set off chaos halfway across the station. Cue montage of Jacob chasing the boys up and down the Promenade.

...that's all I got I am. Definitely willing to discuss more/get add-ons to this/hear other people's ideas!!!

Man this got long ajxhahavxhs

[normal-thoughts-official]

magnus is this notorious pirate famous in the caribbean with everyone talking about him because of how successful he is. his quartermaster is definitely raphael (his care for his clan and how he cares for others solidifies this thought process) and their ship has some corny name that raphael pretends to hate but definitely loves. europe thinks that magnus and his crew are demons(racists fucks) meanwhile theyre out here being nerds who enjoys navigating the seas and ruining racists job prospects+

+cat and ragnor live on nassau with magnus bringing back supplies they sell(we love the blackmarket here). the lightwoods are brought into this world bc their parents send them off to nassau to try and expand the family's business and gain profit off of this lawless place which refuses to be governed by anyone. malec meets at like the local inn where maia works at also where izzy meets her and by association The Polycule)and is just attracted to each other right then and there with bad flirting. once they become settled in, alec and izzy becomes like disillusioned with following what their parents expect of them and start to actually do what they wish. because he's dramatic, alec probably asks ragnor who settled down from pirating for more lessons in sword fighting (hes not unexperienced but theres a difference from fighting on land and on water)

eventually magnus hears about this cue them dramatically learning how to fight on like this cliff top with their swords connecting (we love euphemisms for sex) and them bonding over magnus' book collection he has and them no longer doing what their parents expect of them (im imagining asmodeus as this well traveled trader or something who only cares about money rather than having humanity) and even though magnus is this pirate which is a profession that the "civilized world" looks down on, he's like the epitome of actually having morals and caring about people (pirates were known to drastically impact the slave trade as they often freed slaves and let them join their crew or they worked directly with maroons and indigenous people). 

i imagine their first kiss to be when theyre training and someone has a sword pressed against the others neck because theyre horny bastards and they accept only the dramatics. their proposal/matelot is potc levels of dramatic with them fighting an enemy crew alongside The Polycule(the most badass and queer crew out there) and like halfway through alec is just like marry me and then next thing they know it raphael is officiating their marriage around dead people before they go on to have a better and more planned out wedding on shore (had to get some of this out now before i went too deep, The Poycule is definitely something i paid attention to most considering how big and complex the group is)

ugh not to add to an already huge post but

you are totally right about raphael being his quartermaster! raphael is a great leader and he cares so much for his people and he is one of the few people magnus obviously trusts, even as they have their differences. only other person i could imagine as magnus' quartermaster would be cat but like! raphael is perfect for the job! also i love the idea that he pretends to hate the corny name, he has to pretend to hate magnus' puns and jokes on principle but really he loves it

also "meanwhile they are all nerds" accurate, the whole ship is just a whole mess of people having fun and being family we love that for them

and ok not to slut for the polycule but i'm slutting for the polycule i just. aaa want to know so much more about them. i know you said they were already with maia but idk i can see many of them being part of magnus' crew? especially meliorn and tbh clary lmao she seems the type who would love adventure like that (i'm going with fanon clary here mostly) and i can see simon in both but i can also definitely see simon being in the inn with maia (god i have a half baked au that includes that) because being in the sea all day? no thank you. and they are just this nice local couple that helps all the pirates because fuck the racist law

also it's hilarious because they are so warm and welcoming and the lightwoods get there and simon is like "oh-oh. incoming" and maia is all like "what the fUCK do you want"

which lowkey backfires because izzy is just like "oh she's so fierce, i love her" and is already like, halfway in love doing the head tilt and huge grin thing (she's not creepy about it, just like, she likes it, you know? especially because in this AU izzy was raised as a Rich Girl so she's expected to be all that fragile useless white woman ideal and yada yada and she's not here for that so she's attracted to the idea of women like clary and maia)

and just like ghhgggghhh not to slut but i love the idea that they are in the inn and meliorn raphael and possibly clary are always in the sea so like! sweet reunions! not that they are usually going super far lmao mostly just stopping the slave trade and protecting the caribbean and shit, but that's a few months in between visits and i picture that at some point when they are getting to nassau raphael is just like, vibrating (you know, as much as he allows himself to) and magnus just smiles knowingly, happy that his boy has found people he's so happy with

and raphael getting into the inn and being like "simon! maia!" and simon and maia being like "raphael! meliorn!" and just crashing into this big group hug and it's all laughs and meliorn twirls maia and she giggles and simon kisses raphael's cheek and is all worried about them both (plus clary) because god what the fuck kind of shit did they get into this time, are they hurt? if he's broken another leg he's gonna- and raphael laughs and says "no, cariño, i promise all i have with me are gifts" because he's not gonna travel the caribbean and not bring stuff for his partners. so it's him and meliorn showering maia and simon in gifts and pretty and maybe stolen things (maia in particular takes such great joy in learning that her pretty new bracelet belonged to some racist bitch) like spoils you know? lmao, and looking at them it's like they haven't seen each other in years or something but no it's been like a month and it's always like that

and alec and izzy are just watching that, mouths slack, shocked, but highkey yearning for something as free as that, that loving family and that open love and meliorn's genderfuckery and just everything about them! and alec "conceal don't feel" lightwood is kind of frowning and goes "are they always like that?" to which magnus, behind him, answers "yes" and then he turns around and they stare at each other and magnus quickly goes from "happy for my boys" to "hello tall person" in a matter of seconds and is suddenly all seductive and flirty and alec is having the time of his life? especially since here away from the lightwoods he can allow himself just a little bit, and letting a guy flirt with him can't hurt, right? he knows izzy won't tell their parents. so he engages

cue terribly bad flirting, izzy smiling widely as she watches the polycule dynamics, highkey wanting something like that for herself, especially seeing the way that clary talks to maia all like "look at this SWORD" and all the adventures. and maia still doesn't trust her but apparently magnus has already hit it off with her brother so what the hell, they might as well stay

and just!! yes getting to know each other shenanigans. i picture that like the army gets there and tries to get magnus and his crew and alec and izzy are like running to them to warn them (alec not knowing quite why, he shouldn't be taking that big of a risk, he shouldn't be getting attached to a pirate - of whom he's only heard terrible things so far, thinks they are Evil basically - just because something about him is alluring and represents the freedom he doesn't allow himself to want, but... he is getting attached) and the whole gang is all like *very calmly heading to the secret hideout in their room* oh don't worry about that lmao they do this every week

and idk i just want a moment where they are almost found and alec and izzy lowkey save their ass (i mean they would have managed but they make it easier, maybe use the Privilege Card lmao). maybe the guards were closer than they thought so alec ends up just shoving magnus into the hideout and when the guards come in he's all like "WHO is interrupting our sleep" and acts like an entitled brat and they don't even search the room lmao and then alec runs to the hideout all "sorry that i pushed you, are you okay?" and magnus is all like "i'm fine" but a little touched about the care. just to establish that trust, you know? both between them and between izzy and the rest of the polycule

so after that it all kind of flows smoothly because they know they can genuinely trust the lightwoods and so it grows into something more. magnus and alec can bond over having Terrible Parents With Terrible Morals and they open up about their respective traumas with abuse, and alec confesses to magnus for the first time ever that he doesn't want to be like his parents, that he thought if maybe he earned their respect, he could change things from the inside. and magnus looks at him all soft and touched and is like "there's no changing things from the inside" and alec is like "i'm starting to realize that" you know

and yeah alec gets to see how much that crew cares for each other, way more than his "traditional family" ever could (except for him and izzy who are just as devoted to each other as the crew is, but like, it's honestly less the "blood relations" and more how they've always been there for each other as they handled their parents' shittiness) and again he's just yearning because he always believed he wouldn't get something like that. and magnus in particular is just so caring and just wants to make the world a better place, you know? and he admires that and they bond over that, too

and just jdhdaodshad god i love this. and meanwhile izzy is flirting with maia clary and meliorn like crazy and soon they are like this huge messy group with all those dynamics... and i just aaa and alec and izzy end up joining the crew and daiodsaiodjsaio RAPHAEL OFFICIATING THEIR WEDDING i'm genuinely all for that fucking shit, magnus wants his boy to do it for them and aaaaa! also i DEMAND raphael&meliorn fighting sequences because i bet they would make a bomb ass duo fighting back to back and shit, you know? bonus points if they are defending simon and maia who are behind them and just making sure no one touches them?? i live for this shit 

in short i love this and you said “get some out of your chest" so if there's more, then fuck, i can't wait to see it dahsdaijas i'm sorry for talking so much i get too excited