#OK SKIN OKKKKK

[kimjiwoong]

[geronimomo-spd]

1, 5, 8, 9!

hey!!! i apologize for answering this so late!! but thanks for the ask friend!!!

Top 3 Doctors?

oh goodness!!! as i grow up these change a lot, so im gonna give this a long answer couse i can (also i physically cannot not over explain things hehe)

when i was younger andjust got into the show: 10, 11 and 9!

now that i finally expirianced more of doccy who: hmmm wow this became so much harder to answer actually, even doctors i don't think about often i like some parts on but if i had to choose... for now... 8 is defenetly up there! and its francly a battle between 9 and 1, but also 10 my beloved, but also 11 was so importent to me growing up that its hard to even put him on the list couse i cannot be possably objective on him at all, breaking my trans and autistic egg, so, even as through the years i find myself loving other doctors more, and he is not part of the list much these days, he is still automaticly part of it so its pointless to actually put him there? hope that made sense! i love 1 so much, did not expect to adore him as much as i do, but what can i say eventually he he he and ho hoed himself into my heart. also after rewatching some of 10 i finally rememberd how much and why i loved him as a kid and i do not think it was nostalgia that keeps him high for now. also also 6 is such a suprise but he is pretty close to being on the list, which is fucking impressive concidering i only expirianced one audio of his (of which you know lol). also 5!!! baby fun 5 is also fun!! but not on this list yet. to recap: for now its 8 (wow i did not expect for 8 to still stay up there so high but he is so fasinating and relatable and babygirl and gender and actual canon mewo mewo and weee), 9, and 10 or 1! but 11 is still automaticly in there, hope that makes sense!!

5. If you could pick any companion to travel with any Doctor, who would it be 

omg ok ok ok ok, so, after thinking about this quastion i think i had the random idea of Donna and 1... omg the amount of shananigens they can get into holy shit, they would probably apear to not get along in the beginning but i think that after a while i think they would get along really well???? i see them as having a similer relationship to 1 and Viki, in a way of two idiots scheming their way to political infuance and having to get out of situations by the skin of their teeth, but Donna is probably is wayyy more intent on calling the doctor out in much more direct ways so it can have the potencial of some great argumants and character development. ok now im in love with this idea

8. OTP? 

omg omg omg omg okkkkk so, within doctor who i will say its not usual for me to actually have a ship with the doctor, as i see them being more of an aro ace not realy feeling that way towards anyone kind of person. (not that that stops me from enjoying the occesinal doctor x compaion, its just not something i activly will ship) so its mostly companions, so within companions, Ian and Barbara all the way!! no matter romantically or not, Ian abd Barbara are so tied to me, they are defenetly at least life partners all the way, they can't imagine life without each other!!! they just live together with love and joy and the understanding that no one knows how they changed and grew apart from each other, the true trauma bond couple who lives their lives together for some peace and fucking quiet lol

but if we are going the least canon complient possible: 5th doctor and 8th doctor all the way!!! gosh darn it i adore them to absolote bits, the two most inoffencive doctors finding comfort in each other, healing from trauma together... damm are they cute

9. NOTP? 

fuck lol, hmmmmm, Donna x 10th doctor all the way, i don't have any hate in my heart to those who ship them, i see it! but to me they are very important as platonic friends, and their closeness and emotinal moments are my go to to discribe my wish for a life parnter myself!! they were the original couple that gave me hope as an aro ace person to have close relationships liek that in my life, and to this day they are one of my if not the absolote fave platolic relationships in media, my qpps forever

thanks for the ask!! i apologize for the longness of the answer lol, thank you for asking!!! have a great day friend!!

[amycosmicofc]

Roommates or More? - Taehyung x Reader

I’m taking requests in comments!

TW: Detailed sex, Fingering, Protected Sex

“Taehyung! I have something for you!” Y/N grabs his hand in excitement, squealing. “Alright, show me what you got!” Taehyung smiles. Kim Taehyung and Y/L/N Y/N are roommates. One night, this night, Y/N came home very horny and desperate. Her crush is home as well, the handsome and sexy Kim Taehyung. “Wait, Y/N, have you been drinking?” Taehyung could smell the alcohol from a foot away, the odor making him confused, Y/N never drinks. “Taehyung…” Holding tightly onto her crush, Y/N gets more sexually frustrated. Taehyung flushed a light red, but ignored her whines and moans, and dragged her to her bed. “Stay here, I’ll get you some water.” Taehyung turns to leave the room but gets stopped when Y/N grabbed his wrist. “Taehyung please stay! I love you so much!” Y/N kisses his cheek and his soft skin hit her lips. But Taehyung was annoyed himself, pushing Y/N down on the bed. “Of course you love me, we’re roommates! Butttttt your drunk.”

“Huh? I’m not fucking drunk! I’m very tired, I was at work for 14 hours straight! I had one drink before coming home. And, when I said I love you, I meant what I said!” Taehyung shook his head. “If you’re not drunk, then you are delicious.” He patted her head. “If you’re tired, then sleep.” Y/N giggles and pulls Taehyung down with her. “Okkkkk!” She snuggles into Taehyung, his intoxicating scent filling her nose. “I didn’t say with me…” Taehyung grunted but didn’t pull away, Y/N was too cute. They both fall asleep. About an hour later Taehyung is awoken by moans of absolute pleasure. He turns and sees his roommate squirming around, moaning his name in her sleep. “Fuck- Taehyung you feel so good!” Taehyung watches her, almost tempted to record her to show her when she’s sober. But it was starting to get on his nerves. “So rowdy…” Taehyung took Y/N’s wrists and pinned them over her head. His knee between her thighs. “If you keep moaning my name like that, of course it’s gonna make me horny…” Y/N’s eye open wide, seeing her beloved crush on top of her.

She moans at this and gets super wet. “Taehyung-“ He rubbed his knee against her, feeling the wetness. “Getting all wet on your own…I wonder who’s better at making you feel good? Me in your dreams, or reality?” He kisses Y/N abruptly and allows his hand to roam around her thighs. “Taehyung please! Fuck me!” He looks at her up and down. “Is that how you were taught to beg?” He traced her jaw and lifted it while he lowered his mouth to her ears, whispering roughly. “On all fours and I’ll think about it-“ Y/N quickly gets out of Taehyung’s grip and gets on her hands and knees. “Taehyung please I can’t wait anymore! I NEED your cock inside me, Taehyung!” “Hm…” He flips her over gently and removes her skirt and panties. “So excited, yet with no tack…” He removes her uniform top and bra and begins to take off his uniform too. He placed a finger on the tip of her clit, and slowly dragged it to her hole, sliding it in. With the satisfaction of the love of her life touching her in that way, Y/N moans loud. “Taehyung I love it! Fuck!” He rubbed her insides, making it two fingers as it relaxed a bit. “How will we ever fuck if you’re this tight over a bit of fingering?” Y/N clenched around Taehyung’s fingers, ready to cum. “Fuck Taehyung I’m about to-“ “Did I give you such permission? Release it into my hand.” “Taehyung!”

Y/N came hard, getting her cum all over Taehyung’s hand. Taehyung was against going bare for now, they were only 25, and Taehyung is not ready for a baby just yet even though he knows it would be her who will carry his children. “I know you want to feel all of me Princess, but I can’t-“ “It’s ok, as long as you fuck me already!” Taehyung chuckles at her comment. “I’ll gladly fuck you till you’re only able to scream my name.” Taehyung noticed something was wrong though. “Please be gentle…I’ve never done this before…” Taehyung smiles and reassures Y/N that he will not literally rip her apart. “Just know it will hurt a little bit but I will let you adjust ok?” Y/N nods. Taehyung starts putting his cock inside of Y/N but she screams. “Ah- Taehyung- It hurts really bad…” Taehyung kisses her cheek. “It’s going to feel really good after this ok?” He kisses both of her breasts then sits still.

“Taehyung I think I’m ready…” Y/N moves the tiniest bit and moans. “Looks like you are, Princess…” He takes his cock and begins to move at a slow pace. “Hey tell me again how much you love me?” “So much Taehyung, I love you more than anything…” He goes much faster hearing her words. “Taehyung!” He kisses her to make her quiet. “Fuck I forgot we are in a dorm, be quiet ok, Princess?” He thrusts even quicker and runs a hand through her hair. “Taehyung…Taehyung I’m close…” She squeezes his cock with her walls so tight it makes Taehyung ready to release as well. “You know what, Y/N, I love you too!” Taehyung cums in the condom and Y/N cums hard on his dick. Taehyung goes limp and pulls out of her, laying next to her and cuddling her sweaty body, covering them both with the duvet. “I meant that Y/N, I love you…” Taehyung kisses her, Y/N kissing him just as passionately. “I love you too Taehyung…”

The other members now horrified hearing their Hyung fucking their roommate realize that they themselves have a problem to deal with too.

[alleycat97]

Forgive Me Pt. 2

Time heals all wounds, and as for Bea Hughes, she had the odds stacked against her, battling a healing heart and car wreck injuries, time just seemed to drag on. She had forgiven Chloe and the two started a relationship that they wished had happened sooner.

Bea started physical therapy and it was killing her. Still bound to her wheelchair for now, she was making strides and with aid, she could walk using her own power. The neck brace was long gone but she still got headaches from the whiplash.

Chloe moved Bea into her master suite in the Zeta house, a move Poppy was furious about. No way in hell was her enemy living under the same roof as her. The audacity.

Well Bea settled in real nice. She had to listen to Poppy bitch about her presence but finally she ran out of words to bitch about and left her alone. I mean she was causing no harm to anyone, her days trying to take the throne were gone and all she cared about was healing and progressing with Chloe.

Chloe. The girl who finally threw away her loyalty to Poppy and dedicated herself to her girlfriend Bea. Chloe waited on her hand and foot. She made a promise and she was going to keep it.

Staying in the Zeta house wasn’t so bad. Zoey came by almost daily to visit and the Zeta girls treated her as one of them. Veronica quickly became one of Bea’s besties.

She would watch over Bea when Chloe had to go to class. Lucky for Chloe, she could check on her love due to Veronica’s constant streaming. She was the highlight of every vlog.

Veronica wrapped her vlog up and started doing Bea’s nails. The girl was exhausted from the therapy and Veronica thought she could help.

“I see therapy is going well.” Veronica laughed filing Bea’s fingernails.

“Uhhhh.” Bea moaned laying perfectly still.

“You’re coming along quickly, you’ll be back to yourself soon.”

“If I don’t die first. Therapy is killing me I swear. I’m too exhausted to do anything.”

“Obviously, your nails are atrocious.” Veronica started painting, making sure to hold Bea’s hand still.

“You know you make her happy?” Veronica causally spoke.

“What?” Bea asked confused.

“Chloe. I haven’t seen her genuinely this happy in a long time. You’ve got her hooked.”

“She’s too good to me.” Bea smiled. “I never thought I would say this, but sometimes I wonder if she’s too good for me.”

“Oh stop that. You have that girl whipped. I’ve never seen her stand up for herself or for anyone. She’s so far up your ass I’m afraid she’s going to suffocate.” Veronica teased.

“She is not!” Bea defended.

“Is she not? And relax babe, I meant it as a compliment, she’s madly in love with you.”

“I know. And I love her too. I just wish I could do something special for her. Show her I appreciate her for what she’s done for me.”

Veronica pondered ideas and threw some out to Bea as she wrapped up her manicure, “How about this...”

...

Chloe made it home, finally out of class and like clockwork, made a dash upstairs to check on her girl.

“Hello my sweet girl.” She greeted walking over to kiss Bea.

“Hey babe.” Bea mumbled smacking lips with Chloe.

“How do you feel today? Better?”

“A little. Look! Veronica did my nails.” Bea beamed.

“Supa cute!” Chloe squealed.

She noticed Bea became quiet after awhile, “What’s up? You have that look on your face. You want to tell me something.”

“Ummm so me and V where talking...and I booked us a weekend in the mountains.”

“What?! For when?” Chloe asked with excitement.

“This weekend.”

“Are you sure you’re up for it? I know you’ve made progress...” Chloe asked worriedly.

“I’ll be ok. It’s nothing strenuous, just a nice relaxing getaway.” Bea added.

...

The drive up was a breeze. It was only a couple of hours away and Chloe was always sure to check on Bea when they got near a rest stop.

It was beautiful. Winter time in the New York mountains. The air was crisp but the cabin was warm.

It was just the two of them and the quietness the surrounding nature provided was peaceful. The cool night air complimented the long soak in the hot tub, exactly what Bea needed. Cuddles and kisses with Chloe and a bone healing soak.

The girls went on a stroll the next morning to the property’s ice rink. It was a frozen lake just down the hill. Chloe rented a pair of skates and by the look of it, they were the first and only ones there. The low fog was gliding inches above the fresh layer of ice. The sun was rising over the evergreens, giving off that welcome warming sensation they craved.

Bea sidlelined herself momentarily. Still tied down to her wheelchair, she sipped her warm coffee and found added warmth under her fleece blanket. Just watching Chloe skate was enough. A former figure skater in her own right, Chloe gave it up when she came to Belvoire because Poppy told her to.

She was in her own world and Bea was proud to be a witness. It wasn’t about her, not today. It was Chloe’s day. But in typical Chloe fashion, she wasn’t letting her girlfriend miss out. She began to skate around, gently pushing Bea across the ice. The chilling air slapped Bea’s face causing it to change to a bright red, but she didn’t care.

She was having a blast at the safe hands of Chloe. It was their own fairytale moment neither expected. But both wouldn’t have it any other way. The giggles, the thought, the company they were in, it was all worth it.

Later that night, after the hot tub Bea finally was able to get herself out of her wheelchair on her own. It was something she and Chloe had been working on daily and finally, she done it.

Feeling bulletproof, Bea had Chloe take her shirt off and lay down in front of the wood burner. She did as instructed and propped her chin in her fist, watching out the glass windows as fresh snow started falling.

Bea struggled to ease her way down on top of Chloe. She finally threw her leg over and straddled the back of Chloe’s thighs, butt firmly against her crotch. She began to rub her back and worked her way up to her neck.

She worked Chloe’s knots out and gently caressed every inch of her beautiful skin. It was her time to spoil her girlfriend. No matter what happened next, she would have this moment with the woman she loved for as long as she lived.

“Mmmm. That feels so good Bea.” Chloe moaned in pleasure.

“I’m glad you’re enjoying. I want to spoil you to no end love.”

“Wowww, and what did I do to deserve all this love?”

“For just being you. For loving me and taking care of me when no one else would. I love you Chloe St. James. With all my heart.”

Okkkkk, Chloe began to cry, that’s all she ever wanted to hear, it was never enough, but it would do for now, “I love you Bea Hughes. So so much.”

Chloe wiggled her way out of Bea’s embrace and ran to make hot chocolate and returned to join Bea in the floor. The two took a blanket and cuddled up next to the stove and watched the snow fall, one question still looming in Chloe’s mind.

“So I take it, that I’m forgiven?”

“Yes Chloe.” Bea teased. “For the millionth time, you’re forgiven. Now kiss me.”

“Yes ma’am.”

[la-paritalienne]

Eve!!!! Need your thoughts about Taylor's album!!!! 💓💓💓💓💓💓

i love getting asked :”(((((( :”))))))) thank uuuuuuuu. let’s get to it. as usual, it’s an almost-first impression (normally i write my basic thoughts during the first listen – yeah i’d started doing it before getting this, you know, just in case – and then i review them w a second one, where i also select my favourite passage). sooo, let’s go

♡♡♡♡

the 1 — such sweet yet heartbreaking lyrics... very soft sound, if it sets the mood for the album im 100 per cent in! This one didn’t stick w me after one listen, but after the second i was like wooow! I love how she says waking up alone ughhh. 8

fave lyrics: persist and resist the temptation to ask you / if one thing had been different / would everything be different today?

cardigan — !!!!!!! the sound has that bittersweet something that gets under your skin and makes you nostalgic for something you can’t even pinpoint. it reminds me of the softest lana, especially in nfr (eg bartender!!). i’m in awe. instant obsession!!!! the ending takes you to another plane of existence – ‘cause i knew everything when i was young... i knew you’d miss me... you’d come back to me. also i’m crying. 10+

[it’s hard to choose bc the whole song reads like poetry but i’m especially obsessed w] giving me your weekends; once in twenty lifetimes; tried to change the ending / peter losing wendy; you drew stars around my scars

the last great american dynasty — storytelling on pointttt and sound, too! telling the story of someone she bought her house from?? the genius jumped out. she paints it like a romantic portrait, mad woman pacing on the shore, but then also gatsbian, the crazy parties, dali... and then takes it back to today w the key lime green dog, idk, iconic. i want to know this woman. this song truly takes you somewhere else, i thought it was a bit repetitive but then the bridge came in and the final vocals plus i had a marvelous time ruining everything, i have to stan! 8+

there goes the maddest woman this town has ever seen / she had a marvelous time ruining everything

exile — ok wow, bon iver’s voice is something else!!!! i was kind of ignorant when it came to him, i admit. his depth and rasp paired with how angelic she sounds... heavenly. sound-wise, but also thematically, this vaguely reminds me of tomorrow never came w lana and sean ono lennon. (one of my fave songs of all time maybe?). the way they enunciate i think i’ve seen this film before is literally a work of art all in itself, not to mention – well i’m mentioning it bc it’s worth it! – the you never gave a warning sign vs the way she goes over it w i gave so many signs. god this makes me feel sooooo sad and like, involved. it’s so beautiful. 10

you’re not my homeland anymore / so what am i defending now?

my tears ricochet — ok wtfffff??? everything about this speaks to my soul. the airy voice, the way she sets the scene... sunlit room, the funeral metaphor, you turned into your worst fears. i didn’t have it in myself to go with grace speaks to me more than anything, but just, everything about the lyrics. truly something else, cursing my name / wishing i stayed gives me chills everytime she says it. the beat that gets more insistent towards the end, with the bridge....... the high notes that then fade..... just wow. 10

and i can go anywhere i want / anywhere i want, just not home / and you can aim for my heart, go for blood / but you would still miss me in your bones / and i still talk to you when i’m screaming at the sky / and when you can’t sleep at night you hear my stolen lullabies

mirrorball — love the lyrics, maybe a bit less the sound? i mean i do love the sound, so far i’m loving how softly produced and coherent this album is, but this one i wouldn’t listen to on repeat and maybe there’s something a bit whiny that i don’t love. powerful meaning tho, and who’d use a mirrorball as a metaphor for feeling like you’re fragile, trying too hard to be a people-pleaser and no one sees the real you? 7

i’m still trying everything to keep you looking at me

seven — ah........ i started crying as soon as this one started, pleeease picture me in the trees, i hit my peak at seven....... like ok there’s no need to go that hard??? it’s so dreamy and like... naïf? in a perfect way. the way she says i still got love for you...... and everything else... she mentions folk songs... the purest love described in the purest way. i don’t think i have enough words to descrive the way this song moves me. like i want to listen to it again and again, to be able to feel like that again, but also i’m almost scared to listen bc it touches me too deeply. i still will tho hehe. 10+ (also just realised this is track 7 ok makes sense but my mind is blown. 100)

[this is literally deeper than a shakespeare sonnet so everything literally is my fave but, having to choose] and i’ve been meaning to tell you / i think your house is haunted / your dad is always mad and that must be why / and i think you should come live with me / and we can be pirates / then you won’t have to cry / or hide in the closet / and just like a folk song / our love will be passed on

august — i love the contrast between the lighthearted, happy singing and guitars and the sad lyrics. the story it tells is so simple and yet there’s so much poetry in that... plus it reminds me of fearless or even speak now?? which are like. the taylor that gets to my heart, tbh. the bridge and the outro made the song for me. 8,5

for me, it was enough / to live for the hope of it all / canceled plans just in case you’d call

this is me trying — oh god... lyrically this song is so raw and honest, it gives me chills! i do have to say, i don’t love how she says i just wanted to know (like metrically?? idk, im weird) but these are really just small comments on amazing songs, bc i feel like all i’m saying is wow this is great, lyrics and sound, but it truly is a complete and consistent work of art, easily listened to top to bottom each time. 8-

they told me all of my cages were mental / so got wasted like all my potential / and my words shoot to kill when i’m mad / i have a lot of regrets about that

illicit affairs — ok this goes without saying but i love storyteller taylor, it’s the taylor i grew up loving and singing to in my room. the thing about most of these songs, this one included, is that they probably grow on you after a few listens, bc they’re not made to be catchy, the production and backgrounds are always very soft and some i love more than others. this one musically maybe isn’t my fave but the narration is on point, and the bridge?? the fuckkkk. plus it has one of mt favourite themes ever which is so rarely spoken about, which is the fact that language you only speak w a particular someone you love, makes you miss them even more when they’re gone. or well not exactly this but i can’t put it into words, she did tho. 8+

you taught me a secret language i can’t speak with anyone else / and you know damn well / for you, i would ruin myself / a million little times

invisible string — the color theme!!! the guitar strumming!!! and the idea of an invisible tie w someone special... i do think she outdid herself w this album. again, not my fave soundwise, maybe slightly whiny when she goes meEeeEee? but, lyrically adorable and moving. 7,5

one single thread of gold / tied me to you

mad woman — maam...... this is iconic shit........ how could she say stuff like this w such a dreamy, breathy voice. musically i get huuuge lana’a nfr vibes again (which i mean. goals) but i also adore that lyrically it’s so taylor, no one would say this shit the way she does. adore how she sings to wrap your news around and bonus for women like hunting witches too, i do love me a nod to the fact that some women are so deeply filled w machism that they’re basically men in disguise. 8,5 

every time you call me crazy, i get more crazy / what about that? / and when you say i seem angry, i get more angry [isn’t this just womanhood condensed in a few lines]

epiphany — aw! it sounds like a lullaby, maybe it’s slightly ‘boring’ for my taste? meaning i get distracted which is surely a shame bc the words seem beautiful, but it’s so soft i just drift off? but reading the lyrics – for focus hehe – i’m moved. 7+

only twenty minutes to sleep / but you dream of some epiphany / just one single glimpse of relief / to make some sense of what you’ve seen

betty — okay byeeeeeeeeee. this is taylor at her finest! countryyyyyyyy, storytelling, lesbian jdjdfk no yeah I know I knowww, romance went sour. gut wrenching and beautiful, this feels like... watching a sad teen movie but w a sepia filter, idk. i dreamt of you all summer long oh my......... it’s like og taylor from her iconic first couple of albums came back but w all her baggage and growth and experience and better than ever. also why does taylor sing so wel about being in love w a woman????? well. 10+

betty, right now is the last time / i can dream about what happens when / you see my face again

peace — ..........yes yes yes. the high notes, the honesty, the syncopated parts where she says so much so quick and yet it still hits you. it’s not even a short song but it ends too soon, it goes by like that..... a poem. omg it just hit me this has flo vibes! especially from high as hope, for example grace or south london forever?? i mean... taylor doing alt folk country pop...... queen. give you my wild, give you a child?? ok ok. 10

all these people think love’s for show / but i would die for you in secret

hoax — weeeell the lana inspo jumped out w that piano!!!!! and like. mood. and lyrics...... this reminds me of wuthering heights or of lana’s tormented love stories (shades of blue.....). a powerful closer. poetry. 9

i am ash from your fire

♡♡♡♡

okkkkk this was a flattering review, very well deserved imo since the review is mine gjgjhkhk i agree w myself. thank you again and as i always say, feel free to come back w your comments! and have a great dayyyyy! much love

[stressed-depressed-emo-mess]

Janus & Adam

((Okkkkk so I threw this together with some OCs, it does kinda rip off Detroit Become Human but I just love my boys Marcus and Conner to much to not do something like this. For @killjoynest​ here’s a exterminator and his droid who may or may not be gay i dunno. And yes Janus is a ref. to TS, I needed a name so shush))

Dracs | Droids

"Adam?? Adam!?!" Janus Holden calls for his helper droid, Adam, from across the house. Janus, who was a semi-famous S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W stationed in the neon district, was an up-and-coming exterminator who was mainly put in charge of in city operations- droids and the occasional burnout- nothing to fancy. He had recently been gifted a prototype droid from HQ; apparently it did everything another human could, but faster and more efficient. It was called Adam, and the directions that came along with it said that there were no emotions, no consciousness, no sense of self-awareness. Janus always had a hard time calling droids “it”; they remained him of actual people, and that what he always told his supervisors when accused of “feeling emotion.” Janus hated that. The ‘You can’t feel emotion’ aura over everything. It made killing easier, but if he got used to treating the droids like shit, it would rub off on actual people. He didn’t want to do that. He had started treating Adam like a regular human being and it was making himself a lot happier. Adam, who he just used ‘they/them’ for, also seemed more eager to help than their counterparts in other households. Janus also made an effort to clean up after himself just to ensure that Adam didn’t have to do everything themselves. At the moment, Janus was trying to cook himself some breakfast but that ended up on the floor everywhere. Janus turns off the stove and grabs some towels and rags before Adam rushes in, a scared look on their face which slowly melts into amusement.

“Mr. Holden, you tired to cook again, didn’t you” they smile.

“Yes, Adam, I did. And how many times must I ask you to call me Janus? I see you as an equal.” he says playfully, tossing a towel over in their direction. “Can you help me?”

“Well, that’s what I was designed to do, Mr. H- Janus.”

Janus’s smile grows wider and looks up to Adam as they drop beside him and they both start to clean up the pancakes and eggs that have taken up residence on the floor. 

“Hey, Adam? Do you use plus at all?” he asks

“Well, all droids do. We don’t have an alternative power source. But to answer your question directly; yes. I wish I didn’t, but yes. I do.” the say, with a pretty emotionally charged sigh.

“Adam? Is there- Are you ok?”

“I’m broken,” they say immediately, “I’ve known for a while. I’m not supposed to be able to think for myself. I’m only supposed to take orders and answer questions related to them. Since you’ve been asking me more about me; as in, ‘What do you want to do?’ and ‘Do you want me to help you?’ and ‘What do you think about this?’; I think my consciousness snapped to reality, and I’ve been learning- you’ve been unknowingly teaching me things. And I understand if you want to throw me out, I just couldn’t hide this from you.” they sit back on their heels, looking like a weight had been lifted off their shoulders. 

Janus sets his jaw and looks at Adam, saying, “Adam. I would never throw you out. I am so happy that you told me. You are not broken, this is normal. While we’re on the subject of self-consciousness, do you want me to use a different name, pronouns, or something like that?”

“Haha! I’ve actually never even thought about that!! I guess Adam still, but maybe he/him?? I want to be able to fit in as much as possible.” 

“I can do that.” Janus smiles and puts a hand on Adam’s shoulder before turning back to cleaning up the floor. “Do you, like, want to go for a walk and talk after we finish cleaning this up? I want to be able to get to know you more. But- we’re gonna have to get you changed. We can have my new best friend walking around in that.”  Adam looked like he was going to explode; he was practically glowing with happiness. 

As they finish cleaning up, Janus leads Adam into his closet to see if any of his suits will fit him. Of course, Adam shifts his proportions so he fits in the first suit he tries on. He points to a certain outfit on a coat hanger, and when Janus retrieves it, he flashes back to the first day with Adam. He was wearing the same gold silk shirt under the cream-colored blazer. He hands the shirt and jacket to Adam he excitedly puts them on, complete with some black pants and a pair of old converse; which all fit Adam snugly. 

“You know what that outfit is, right?” Janus asks Adam, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

“Of course I do, silly! How could I forget??” Adam says, booping Janus on the tip of his nose. Janus can feel his ears start to burn and he looks away, a sheepish smile creeping onto his face. “Are we ready to go?” Adam asks.

“Almost, I wanted to do something- only if you want to though,” Janus says, digging through a draw and drawing out some gold spray-on hair dye. He had originally bought it for a costume party, but it matched the shirt perfectly. Adam stares wide-eyed and vigorously nods his head, so Janus puts his hand under Adam’s brown bangs to shield his skin from the dye. Janus sprayed two streaks onto Adam’s hair, before turning to the mirror and giving himself matching streaks. He was wearing a navy blue suit and a black shirt, but the gold spray worked well with his already blond hair in bringing the outfit together. “Now we’re ready,” Janus says with a smile, “Are you?”

“Yeah! Let’s go!!” Adam says, grabbing Janus by the arm and dragging him out the closet, into the hallway, and out of the house. Janus turns around to go and lock the doors when he hears a window crashing in a house down the street. He and Adam give each other a look, and while Janus turns back to lock the doors Adam runs out into the street to see who caused the shattering. Then he heard another window breaking, and trash cans being knocked over. Janus runs out to meet Adam, who’s watching the events unfold down the street; it’s another homecoming parade. Adam waves to a few of the Juvvie halls- who wave back- and Janus can’t help himself. He waves at them as well, putting his arm around Adam as he does it to try and seem as friendly as possible so he wouldn’t get a brick through one of his windows.  

“We could join them,” Adam says in his ear. 

Janus turns to him, bewildered, and says, “We could… We really could… I’m not a revolutionary exterminator so people wouldn’t know who I am, and now that you’re with me, we really could… You know, Adam, I wouldn’t even be entertaining the thought if it had been anyone else bringing this up. Do you want to?”

“Again with asking me what I want. You really hate working here don’t you?” Adam said a knowing smile painted on his face, and Janus can’t help but bark out a laugh.

“What is it with you and making me question everything I know?? C’mon, ya big goof, let’s get outta here.”

[animakupo]

Dearest Heart (Ravus x Reader)

COME ONE COME ALL TO SOME RAVUS FLANGST BROUGHT TO YOU BY A LAMEASS (me) AS REQUESTED BY @aeciru !!!!!!

From the prompt list:

#8: “I don’t need you anymore.”

#20: “Please don’t hurt me like this.”

#59: “You own my heart.”

I did all aforementioned prompts despite having the option to choose just one because there just isn’t enough love for Ravus ok!!!!! I took the liberty to adjust the prompts accordingly to fit with the dialogue though.

ALSO. BOY OH BOY WAS WRITING THIS A CHALLENGE. Ravus and Luna speak in a really eloquent and flowery manner, so I did my best apply such a style and drop contractions here and there whenever I saw fit. I went back and forth with several sections here just to beef up the story and make the relationship and history with Rea more developed and fluid. (((((idk why but i felt pressured to do our boye real good)))))) (i hope i delivered)

(keeping just ravus in character is hard okkkkk)

Speaking of!!!! I read that smol Ravus was actually really nice and kind, so I wrote him as such in the beginning. He becomes the Giant Angst Bean™ that we all know and love later on.

Title was inspired by @birdsandivory who often tags posts relating to their s/o as “dearest heart.” I thought it was the most DARLING thing ever, so I hope you don’t mind that I took that as inspiration!!

Tagging @thatoneawkwardfanthing and @lokewight who asked to be tagged!

i hope you all enjoy this ; w ; 

word count: 5.3k+ words, fluff and angst, soft Ravus and hard Ravus (not sexual ok), spoilers for Kingsglaive

Growing up within the walls of House Nox Fleuret was a privilege that not many were privy to. Luckily for you, your family maintained close ties to the royal family of Tenebrae, thus granting you access to the more personal side of the Nox Fleuret family.

Though you were shy, your parents insisted that you befriend the Nox Fleuret siblings as a show of goodwill. Something about “maintaining peace,” or whatever it was the adults often talked about.

When you were first brought to Tenebrae to meet the nation’s royal family, you were in awe of the region’s majestic architecture — was that an actual castle? — and its signature blue flora, the sylleblossom. Fenestala Manor blew you away in particular, so you were all the more enlivened when your parents explained that this would be your new living quarters.

It was a long time coming, your move to the Manor. After all, you were being groomed to become the Royal Advisor to rising generation of Nox Fleurets.

Upon your arrival at the Manor, Queen Sylva had greeted you personally with the warmest of receptions. She even offered you a brief hug after you clumsily bowed before her. The queen’s friendliness took you aback, but it made you feel all fuzzy on the inside. She was nice.

With Queen Sylva were her two children, a boy and a girl. The female of the two siblings gravitated towards you naturally. She called herself Lunafreya, and she had the sweetest eyes and kindest smile. You regarded her with awe of her beauty.

“This is my brother, Ravus,” Lunafreya introduced as she gestured for you to step closer towards her sibling.

“Welcome to Tenebrae,” Ravus greeted with a friendly smile. “I do hope you enjoy your stay here.”

The different hues in Ravus’ eyes helped you maintain eye contact with him. “H-Hello,” you mumbled timidly. “I’m (Name).”

“What a lovely name!” Lunafreya clapped her hands excitedly as she looked to Ravus. “Wouldn’t you agree, Brother?”

Ravus nodded. “Indeed it is.”

You immediately blushed under their compliments. “Thank you,” you managed to let out, feeling the last of your discomfort crawl away from your skin. These two were good people, you could tell. Even though they were royalty, they welcomed you into their home — into their lives — with open arms.

That was the start of your allegiance to the royal family of Tenebrae.

*

“Princess,” you called. “It’s time for your lessons.”

“Oh (Name),” Lunafreya hummed from her bedroom. “Can’t we skip for once? Please?”

It had been several years since your life had first become interwoven with that of House Nox Fleuret’s. Since your initial meeting, you had only grown closer to both Lunafreya and Ravus at varying degrees.

Lunafreya was almost always attached to your hip. If she wasn’t busy with her duties, she was accompanied by Gentiana. Otherwise, she was often around you. You had come to love her like a sister and would do anything to keep that divine smile on her face.

On the other hand, you had also forged a very formidable friendship with the elder Nox Fleuret. You were closer to Ravus in age, so naturally, the two of you found a lot of things in common. In the years you had spent getting to know him, you had come to realize that Ravus was very much like his mother.

Unbelievably kind.

Incredibly accommodating.

So, so warm.

You were honored that Ravus felt safe enough around you to let his guard down and not just be himself, but also show his softer side to you.

You wanted to think that you were at least somewhat special to him in that regard.

These days, you weren’t sure what to make of the butterflies that went wild in your tummy whenever you were around Ravus, but spending time with him always made you giddy and caused your heart to race. It was hard not to smile in his presence.

“Your mother would have my head if I allowed another absence, Princess.”

“She would not!” the young blonde retorted as she fixed her fringe in place. “Mother is much too nice for such barbaric extremes.”

“Perhaps not,” you replied, a teasing smile sneaking its way onto your face, “but if Her Highness won’t have my head, then it will be your brother who may scold me if I continue to be soft on you.”

“That won’t happen,” Lunafreya assured you, a knowing smirk on her otherwise delicate face. “Ravus adores you.”

You immediately flushed at her statement. “H-He…! He does not!”

“Oh, but he does. In fact, Ravus-”

“Are you speaking ill of me again, dearest sister?” Ravus’ voice interrupted from the doorway.

You spun around to face him, feeling embarrassed that he had nearly caught onto what his sister had been insinuating. “My Prince!” You bowed before him, trying to keep the warmth in your cheeks at bay.

“At ease,” he said, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder to set you upright again. “How many times must I insist that ‘Ravus’ is enough?”

“My apologies.”

“And how many times must I defend my honor in front of you, brother dearest?” Lunafreya challenged teasingly, staring indignantly at her older sibling with her hands on her hips. “When have I ever spoken ill of you?”

“If we count all the instances,” he said, “then you will most surely miss your lessons, and we cannot allow that, now can we?”

Ravus glanced at you then, his dual-colored eyes holding a playful glint. You took this as a sign to usher your charge out the door and off to her obligations.

“I-Indeed, we cannot!”

Lunafreya threw her hands up in the air, exasperated. “Ah, I can only take so much when the two of you bully me together! Off I go, then.”

“We-! We weren’t bullying you, Lady Luna-” Your impending apology was cut short with the realization that Lunafreya had already left. Flustered, you turned to Ravus and asked, “She’s not… She’s not angry with me, is she?”

Ravus chuckled, waving his hand to dismiss your fears. “Fret not, dear (Name). My sister merely jests.”

You let out a sigh of relief. “Lady Lunafreya will be the death of me one of these days.”

“As she will be for me, as well.”

His reply caused a few giggles to escape your lips. Once your small bout of laughter tapered, you found Ravus to be looking at you with what appeared to be fondness in his eyes. His gaze made you blush, so you opted to break the silence by bringing the attention back to him.

“So how may I be of service of you today, my Prince?” you asked, returning to your well-mannered front.

Ravus sighed at your ignorance of his name yet again. “Yes, I’ve come to you in need of a favor, actually.”

“Oh? A favor?” You looked at him questioningly, your curiosity piqued. “I will do my best to be of assistance to you, my-”

“Ravus,” he repeated sternly, though his eyes remained tender. “When we are in private, kindly refer to me by my name.”

‘I take it back,’ you thought, feeling your cheeks burn all the more thanks to Ravus’ sweet plea. ‘It is the prince who will be the death of me, not the princess.’

“R-Ravus,” you tested, feeling lighter at the sight of elation on the prince’s face upon the utterance of his name from your mouth.

“Much better.”

You had to keep it together to stop yourself from swooning at his dazzling smile. At the age of 15, Ravus had grown well into his body, and by the looks of it, he would only continue to grow as the years go by. His face had matured some from the time when you first met as children, and while his features sharpened, his kindness had not wavered.

Especially not around you.

“U-Um… Ravus. Ahem. What is this favor you speak of?”

“You have heard of the upcoming ball, have you not?”

“Ah, yes.” You nodded, thinking back on the invitations you had glossed over just a few days prior. “The one celebrating our nation, correct?”

“That is the one. May I ask if you will be preoccupied then?”

You did a mental scan of your duties and responsibilities leading up to the ball. “I may need to assist Lady Lunafreya,” you answered, “but otherwise, I will be present at the sidelines in the event that my aid is needed for the remainder of the night.”

“I don’t suppose you would like to attend as a guest of the family?” Ravus quietly proposed.

Your brows furrowed. What need of Ravus required you to attend as a guest of House Nox Fleuret? You would already be present at the ball anyhow, so the invitation seemed odd as it was rather unnecessary.

Regardless, attending as a guest of House Nox Fleuret meant that the festivities would at least be a little more entertaining, what with the company of Lunafreya and Ravus making everything a little more enjoyable.

It also meant that you would by their side for most of the night, and that alone seemed more appealing than having to lurk in the shadows by yourself.

“That is a very generous offer, my- Ravus.” You winced at how your correction made it sound like you had referred to the prince as ‘yours,’ but you trudged on, hoping he hadn’t taken notice of your slip up. “I would be honored to-”

You were stopped by Ravus clearing his throat. “I’m afraid I failed to clarify.” Dusting off imaginary dirt from his sleeve, he added, “Would you be willing to attend the ball as my guest?”

You blinked up at him, caught off guard at the offer. “A-As…? As your…?”

He huffed a little uncharacteristically. “As my date.”

“Ah.”

An awkward silence enveloped the room. On your part, you were unsure as to how to respond to Ravus’ request. While there was no denying that you would be more than happy to accompany him to the ball — as his date, no less — when it came right down to it, you were torn between your personal sentiments towards the prince and what was expected of you as his Royal Advisor.

Perhaps it was because you were in your teenage years — being just a year younger than Ravus — but it was quite evident to you that you had begun to develop some feelings for your charge. It was a bit of a pickle for you, because it became a challenge having to keep your feelings at bay without crossing the line of what was considered proper.

Though your relationship with the Nox Fleuret family was definitely friendly and familiar, it was still encased in decorum and your respective obligations not just to each other, but to the nation of Tenebrae as well.

Thus, Ravus’ proposal practically blindsided you. You weren’t so naive as to presume he harbored some sort of romantic feelings for you as well, but you could hope, couldn’t you? He wasn’t required to bring a date to the ball; you knew, because you helped piece the occasion together. So what was he doing here, asking you of all people to come with him?

Your nerves and apprehension over how to approach Ravus’ offer must have shown on your face, as he immediately backtracked, saying, “You are not obligated to accept, of course.” Was he worried that you would only say yes because you thought you had to? “I am well aware that such gatherings are not to your taste. Thus, my request may be more of a nuisance than anything, so-”

“Yes.”

Ravus’ rambling came to a halt. “I… beg your pardon?”

“Yes, Ravus.” You gave him a bright smile, hoping it would convey enough of your feelings for him to understand. “I would be delighted to accompany you to the ball, if it won’t be too much trouble for you.”

His shoulders practically sagged in utmost relief. “No, never,” he said as a small smile began to bloom on his face. “You are not an inconvenience in the slightest.”

“So…” You looked away, feeling bashful over the how things had unfolded. “I shall see you then, my Prince?”

“You do me the greatest honor.” Ravus reached out to you and delicately grasped your hand in order to lay a soft kiss on it. “I shall see you then, my (Name).”

“Ex-Excuse me?” you blubbered, feeling your cheeks grow even warmer. “Your (Name)?”

“It’s only fair, is it not?” he asked, a teasing lilt in his voice. “I am your Ravus, and so in return, you are my (Name).”

“Th-That’s-!”

“I shall see you at the ball, dearest heart. Good day.”

And with that, Ravus not only left you a flustered mess, he took with him the rest of your heart as well.

You didn’t really mind, though.

*

You often look back on that time with much fondness and love. The ball was boring as expected, but being by Ravus’ side for the entirety of the night made it much, much more tolerable. Lunafreya sending the two of you some smug smiles also made for some amusement that night.

Despite the fact that you came as Ravus’ date, neither of you initiated the step to further your friendship into a romance. Both of you merely skirted around your feelings, too shy to do anything beyond the confines of your personal and professional lives together.

Lunafreya often urged you to take the initiative and allow the love between you and her brother to prosper, but you always evaded her prodding. In spite of Lunafreya’s unabashed approval and support, you believed that you were in no position to present your feelings to Ravus and expect some sort of reciprocation in the form of a romantic relationship.

No, you wanted it to come from him. You were merely his advisor and a childhood friend at best. There was no way you were going to burden him with your feelings, not when you were unsure if this was what he really wanted with you. If he was not going to take the step forward, then you would adjust to his pace, as you have done all these years.

You were content with remaining by his side. Whether it be as his advisor, his friend, or his lover… so long as you were with him, then that was more than enough for you.

Things changed just a year later with the death of Queen Sylva and the imperial control of Niflheim over Tenebrae.

*

Now, years later, you still remain by Ravus’ side. Many things have since changed, such as Lunafreya’s appointment as the new Oracle, as well as Ravus’ new occupation under Niflheim’s invasion.

No longer was he the prince of Tenebrae. Now, he was known as Ravus Nox Fleuret, the High Commander of the Imperial Army.

You still referred to him as your prince, though. Ravus would merely ignore the title as if you had never said it in the first place.

After the death of Queen Sylva, Lunafreya had pleaded with you to place your focus on her brother rather than on herself. You had objected, arguing that both she and Ravus were your responsibility. However, the young girl proved to you just how mature she was beyond her years when she countered that Ravus needed you more than she did.

“There is only so much that I can do for him,” she had admitted to you tearfully. “But you… you are his heart. Please, (Name), I beg of you. Please do not leave my brother’s side.”

“Lady Lunafreya…” You had held onto her as she fell apart in your arms. Right then and there, you swore that you would remain steadfast in your devotion to Ravus regardless of what life would throw at you.

“I promise.”

If only it were so easy.

At present, the young boy you came to know and love was nonexistent in the Ravus that stood before you today. Gone were the warm smiles and gentle eyes, now replaced by hardened glares and permanent scowls.

The death of his mother had clearly changed Ravus. Though you held him close to your heart, you struggled to reach him beyond the icy walls he had put up around his own heart. Still, you stood by him and remained at his side amidst all the changes he went through.

“My Prince,” you murmured timidly, stepping into Ravus’ office. “Your sister requests your presence for supper.”

“Tell her to proceed with her meal,” replied Ravus from a pile of papers he had not looked up from.

“My Prince, if I may.” Shutting the door behind you, you made your way across the room and settled in front of his desk. “It’s been several days since you last shared a meal with Lady Lunafreya. She merely misses your company, and-”

“How many times must I tell you?” Ravus abruptly stood up and sent you a cold glare. Though you had become used to such painful gazes, you had to admit that they still pierced at your heart rather agonizingly. “I am no longer a prince, and you must address me accordingly by my new title instead.”

It was hard to keep your face neutral when the sadness in your heart overflowed for Ravus.

“My apologies, High Commander,” you muttered softly, offering a bow. “Old habits die hard, I suppose.”

“If only some would die easier than others,” you heard him grumble under his breath.

His harsh tone made you wince, but you did nothing to address his statement. Sending him an affirmative nod, you said, “I bid you a good evening, then, High Commander.”

Noticing your wounded look, Ravus softened his voice and called out to you almost apologetically. “Have you forgotten?” He combed a hand through his hair, which had grown much longer over the years. “I am Ravus to you in private.”

So there was still a bit of the old Ravus somewhere in there. The thought made you smile, albeit a bit sadly.

“Please don’t forget to eat something, Ravus.” Your eyes softened as they met his. “Feel free to summon me if my help is required.”

At that, you made yourself scarce, unaware of the look of longing in Ravus’ eyes as he stared after you.

*

Just a few hours later, Ravus had called for you once more, requesting for dinner. You delivered his meal to his office without a word, only to be stopped by him as he requested that you join him and have a bite as well.

“I’ve already eaten, Ravus.”

“Would you do me the honor of gracing me with your company, then?” He pulled out a chair for you, the hard strain in his eyes growing tender for a few moments.

Only you still got to see this side of Ravus. Only you could do this to him.

“It would be my pleasure.”

The two of you sat there in his office, basking in the quiet. Though no words were shared, the company you offered each other made for a fairly pleasant night.

*

When word of Lunafreya’s imminent union with Prince Noctis of Insomnia came to light, you grew worried. Not just for Lunafreya, but for Ravus as well. Ever since the death of his mother, he had come to loathe the Caelum line and, in effect, Noctis himself.

His bitterness and rage towards the Lucian royal family had consumed him over the years. You had seen firsthand how such dark thoughts and feelings had changed Ravus, so with the announcement of his sister’s engagement to the Crown Prince, you became distraught over how your own prince would handle the news.

One day, you noticed the younger Nox Fleuret carrying a suitcase as she made her way across Fenestala Manor. She appeared to be dressed for travel, prompting you to wonder what her intentions were. As far as you knew, Lunafreya had no meetings scheduled for today. She made no mention of going out, either.

With your brows furrowed, you caught up to her and asked, “Princess, where are you off to?”

“(Name)!” she squeaked in surprise. “I am in need of your help, kind (Name). Please, allow me to leave as I must speak to King Regis immediately!”

“King Regis…?” you repeated, trying to process the growing urgency on her face. “Is this about your engagement to Prince Noctis?”

“It is more than that.” Lunafreya nodded, taking ahold of your hand. “Please, (Name), I must make my way to Insomnia as soon as possible. Will you assist me?”

Your mind scrambled to sort out your thoughts. “I… I cannot, my Princess,” you informed her regretfully, feeling a pang at the frown that took residence on her face. “But it is only because I swore that I would remain by your brother’s side. You remember, do you not?”

“Of course I do. I am eternally grateful for your honor and devotion to Ravus.”

You bit your lip, sending a prayer to the gods above that all would work well. “Still, I cannot simply abandon you in your time of need.” You pulled her to the side and stealthily made your way to the lower floors of the manor. “I may not be able to escort you to Lucis, but I can at least ensure that you find your way out of Tenebrae.”

Lunafreya’s expression brightened at your words. “Thank you, (Name). I owe you.”

“You owe me nothing. Now come, we must make haste.”

Both you and Lunafreya had evaded the imperial guards that monitored the hallways of the manor. Just as you were nearly at the door, the two of you were stopped by none other than Ravus himself.

Snatching Lunafreya from your grasp, he dragged her towards a nearby room, but not before sending you a scathing look.

“And you,” he snarled, “I will have a word with you once I have settled things with my sister.”

The dread that churned at the pit of your stomach almost hurt as more as the pain in your heart due to Ravus’ anger directed towards you.

*

“What were you thinking?!” he barked, slamming the door of his office.

You opted to create a small distance between you and Ravus, growing cautious of his boiling rage. Drawing closer to his desk, you answered, “I merely offered my assistance where it was needed, Ravus. It is as I have done for you and your family all these years.”

Ravus sneered at your response. “Were you foolish enough to allow Lunafreya into the clutches of our mother’s murderer?”

The neutral mask you wore began to crumble with the beginnings of a frown. “Ravus, I understand that you blame King Regis for the death of our queen, but-”

“Understand? You think you understand?”

This was the first time you had ever truly been on the receiving end of Ravus’ fury. It wounded you deeply, causing you to wither away at his spiteful voice. His build, which had grown sturdier even more, now felt menacing as he towered over you.

Still, you reminded yourself of your promise to Lunafreya, no matter how much Ravus was now hurting you.

“You think you understand what my sister and I have been through?” he continued with a scoff. “Are you so stupid to believe that you are so special simply due to our history together?”

Your eyes began to water by then, but you remained rooted in your spot. “I-I…”

“If that is what you believe,” he snapped, “then you are much more idiotic than I thought you to be.”

This time, you flinched. You kept your head bowed in order to hide the steady stream of tears that rolled down your face. “R-Ravus, please…” you hiccuped, “I know you are hurting, but please…”

“YOU KNOW NOTHING!”

A sob threatened to escape your throat, but you slapped a hand over your mouth to keep it in. “Please,” you whimpered pathetically, “do not hurt me like this, Ravus.”

Your plea seemed to have fallen on deaf ears, for Ravus broke you down even further with one simple but cruel statement.

“I do not need you any longer.”

“Wh-What?”

“You are hereby dismissed of your duties,” he continued, voice devoid of emotion. “Until a more suitable role for you can be found, you will remain at the manor for the time being.”

You were openly weeping by now. “Ravus, you cannot mean this.”

“I do,” he retaliated coldly. “Now get out.”

You lifted your pain-stricken gaze, only to pull away the moment your eyes met Ravus’ seething glare. Where was the Ravus you loved? This wasn’t him. The Ravus you loved wouldn’t hurt you so brutally without any heed to your sensitive emotions. The Ravus you loved wouldn’t strip you of the one thing that gave your life meaning throughout the years.

What were you to do now, if you could not remain by his side?

Sniffling, you shuffled your way towards the doorway where Ravus stood. You lowered your head once more as you bumped against him. But, before taking your leave, you offered some parting words to Ravus that would haunt him forevermore.

“You… You will always be my heart, dear Ravus. I pray that you find peace and happiness.”

*

In the days leading to Lunafreya’s escort to Lucis, you steered clear of both her and Ravus. Ultimately, you were no longer bound to them, at least by Ravus’ words.

‘I have failed you, my Princess,’ you thought glumly, looking up at the night sky. ‘How can I remain by your brother’s side if he no longer wants me there?’

Soon, Fenestala Manor grew quiet with the departure of the remaining Nox Fleurets as they traversed to Insomnia. It didn’t take long before news of the nation’s fall reached your region, causing you to plunge into a pit of despair as the tragedy sent a blow to your very core.

King Regis, dead. Even the sweet Prince Noctis was said to have passed on. But what truly broke you was the news that your dearest Lunafreya was gone as well.

Maria, who had remained in your company the past few days, could do little to console you as you drowned in your hysteria. This couldn’t be true. You refused to believe it. No, Lunafreya was still alive. She had to be.

And what of Ravus? Where was he now? Had he fallen amidst Niflheim’s betrayal as well?

You didn’t know what to do with yourself.

‘Please,’ you begged to the heavens above, ‘please, keep them safe. They’re all I have.’

*

Some of your worries had been eased at the return of Ravus. Though he retained his cold demeanor, he brought with him a new prosthetic — one that you couldn’t help but marvel at as you stood before him in his office yet again.

Though news of his arrival had reached you, you had forced yourself to remain at your quarters and not seek him out. With the memory of your last conversation still painfully fresh, you chose not to look for Ravus, providing him the space and privacy he had forcefully set between the two of you.

Your efforts were put to rest when Ravus himself summoned you. Here you now were, avoiding his gaze as you fidgeted nervously in front of him.

The silence was incredibly overbearing, but you feared that if you spoke, he would only lash out at you again. Thus, you kept mum, giving Ravus the floor to voice his thoughts, whatever they may be.

At first, he sighed. Then, with a few careful steps, he approached you. Raising a hand — from his flesh limb, notably — he caressed the side of your cheek in a motion so affectionate, you had to question if this was really the same Ravus you had last perceived before the blatant dismissal of your obligations to him.

“You appear well,” he commented softly, his hand leaving your face.

You couldn’t help but long for his touch. Still, all you could do was nod, feeling as if your voice and words would merely betray you if you tried to speak.

“I…” You could hear his fists clench. “Will you look at me? Please?”

At this, you lifted your gaze to meet his eyes. Based on the memory of your last meeting, you had expected to see bitter rage in his stare. You were proven wrong, however, as you found nothing but throbbing emotion looking back at you.

There it was. The same fondness he used to look at you with. The same tenderness and affection his dual-colored eyes had always revered you in.

There was also one other thing you found in his soft gaze, but you dared not voice your thoughts in fear that you were simply dreaming.

In his eyes, you found love.

“I am sorry.” His voice broke. The last time you were a witness to Ravus’ tears was shortly after the death of his mother. Now, such waterworks were making a return, though you found it hard to fathom that these tears were due to his own grieving for you.

“I was wrong,” Ravus went on, reaching out to you but stopping short, as if he was afraid you would reject him. You eased his fears by meeting him halfway, reaching up on your heels to hold his face in your hands. “I do need you, (Name). I will always need you.”

His hands enveloped yours as you both cried for each other. “Ravus…”

“I meant none of it. Not a single word I had uttered that day held any truth. Please, believe me.”

“I know, Ravus,” you sobbed. “I know.”

You don’t know what it was that had happened to him in Insomnia to cause this sudden turnaround in Ravus, but you weren’t going to question it. All that mattered was that he was here now, with you.

“I realize now that it was I who was the foolish one. It was always me. Never, ever you.” This large man, whose mere presence held a threatening aura towards his foes, was now a snivelling mess in your hands. “I beg for your forgiveness.”

“There is nothing to forgive,” you assured him tenderly, wiping away the tears that had leaked during your exchange of words. “I am relieved that you, too, are well.”

“I will never forgive myself for hurting you that day,” he admitted, pulling you closer. You felt your lip quiver as you recalled the relentless words he had directed to you back then.

You shook your head, trying to rid yourself of such memories. “None of that,” you told both Ravus and yourself. “What matters is that you are here now.”

“There is so much that has been lost, but I will not allow you to be lost to me as well. Not anymore.” He paused for a bit, moving his grasp from your hands to your face, albeit hesitantly. “What you said then, did you mean it?”

“Mean what?”

“You… You own my heart, (Name),” he confessed at last, leaning his forehead on yours. “I would like to know if your sentiments remain the same, though I know I am undeserving of them.”

A sweet smile began to surface amidst your tears. Carefully bringing your face closer to his, you whispered against his lips, “You are my dearest heart, Ravus, as you have been and always will be. Nothing will change that.”

What lay ahead seemed bleak, what with Niflheim’s rise and the still unknown whereabouts of Lunafreya. But, as you remained glued to Ravus, your mouth locked with his in a passionate exchange, all you could do was melt into him and allow your feelings of love to come undone once and for all.

Come what may, you would remain by his side until the very end. What made it easier this time around was the knowledge that he would do the same for you.

At the end of the day, it was just as Lunafreya had told you all those years ago. You were his heart, just as he was yours.

[distresseddamnedsel]

So one time I got Catfished so hard. Like they were a part of my everyday life through my electronic devices. I was like 14 when i met them online. It was this gay guy named Raymond/Ray, he soon became my brother figure and then there was Dylan.... Dylan was 15 he was bisexual like me. (I used to be bi - I’m strctly dickly now) So Ray and his boyfriend and I were all Emo kids and Dylan was a country boy. There was something about him like I literally was not and still am not into country guys but there was something about him that me 14 year old ass was addicted to and I mean addicted to. They became m whole ass life. I kept my grades up for them, I stopped starving and cutting myself for them, I’d ignore my families negativity towards me ( MY family had and still has literally no idea that i was starving, cutting and talking to strangers on the internet) anyway Dylan and I talked 24/7 then one day he started getting weird but I wrote it off then he ghosts me and I was like okkkkk whatever so I’m chatting with Ray and he tells me Dylan has a girlfriend here and my lil 14 year old as starts crying like full on blubbering, crying mess. and I remember this night distinctively because I just turned 15 so this was in march or april, I had alcohol and weed hidden in my closet and once I got through the I’m sad about this stage, I started angrily drinking like I’m talking chugging vodka (Still don’t know how I could do this at 15 but not at 20)  well I chug til i hear someone outside by bedroom door and it was my fucking dad so I hid the bottle wiped my tears and was like yeah? he told me to go shower and in that moment something overcame me and I was like NO and like my dads no the person you tell no to do he comes up to me and I’m praying he can’t smell the vodka and he like take a fucking shower Kiana and I’m like terrified to i like squeak “ok” and he leaves my room so I grab my clothes and towel and as I’m walking out I look down and my razor is right by my door, My drunk sad about a boy 15 year old ass goes to shower and spend the whole time crying and cutting like I was in the shower for an hour and a half. I get out get dressed and go turn on Netflix for some reason I was watching skins and I start drinking again. Ray blew up my phone but I was ignoring my phone like it was across the room. Then I got a message from Dylan at like 2 am and two minutes later I decided to pick up my phone for the first time in like 5 hours. I guess Dylan’s girlfriend found out he’d been talking to me the way he was and she hit him with her car. So the text I got was I almost died for you stop being mad at me I love you. and I was like uhhh ok I love you too (Because you know I was a stupid ass 15 year old) and ray had been blowing my phone up at first cuz he thought I was gonna kill myself he ended up blowing it up cuz Dylan was in the icu. This catfish thing got fishy to me around September. But I carried on with it for like another 6 months then I was like I’m wasting my time, 

[leesh]

my friend's sister is the same age as harry and her skin is AMAZING like no imperfections completely even skin tone super glowy like i just stare at her skin whenever i see her sdlgfhldsgh but it did take her a while to get there like she didn't always have amazing skin and she has a lot of products too like she looks like she's dunked her face in oil after her skin care routine bc of how much stuff is on her face and she is by no means rich like it can just take time and finding the right stuff

yeah i feel that!! like her looking dunked in oil is literally me after my current night time routine but honestly it’s so good for my skin that it’s like ok ok okkkkk effort matters lmao

[0225pm]

unfiltered photos bc i’m too tired to edit them at this moment but i still wanna post something today before i ko!!!!

sOOoo from the photos you may have probably guessed where we went today!! hehe yes we went to gardens by the bay – i actually wanted to go to the autumn festival thingy (i think that’s what it was called??) the one with the pumpkins and other cool foliages, but apparently you have to pay to go in the observatory and even though i like the aesthetics and how beautiful all these flowers and plants look, tbvh i wasn’t ready to fork out $12-20 to look at them in person. i prolly sound like some stupid hipster poser person who only “likes” flowers bc it’s the trend and shit.

////////

han came over to my place to fetch me since our initial plan was to head over to tampines for lunch – the nasi lemak shop that has duck, lobsters, prawns and other idk what as their sides instead of the usual chicken/fish. but they close at 2pm, and by the time i left my house it was already 1pm. considering that we won’t be able to make it in time to the place, we decided to have our lunch elsewhere.

by this time, han was already cranky hahahaha one, it was so fucking humid today. two, i made him wait. three, his plan to eat at the nasi lemak shop fell through.

after much consideration, we took the bus to tampines hub because i told him there’s a thai food shop there and maybe we can have our lunch there instead. he just shrugged and agreed (lmao cus he don’t have a choice alr hahahaha he asked me to choose and plan). then on the bus i told him about all my cravings HAHAHAHA like how i felt like eating some 4fingers and then he said we can have kfc since i mentioned (a tweet on twitter) that any fried chicken is fine and i was like noooo i want the sticky rice that comes with it????? and then he asked me if i’m pregnant or something bc i’m craving for so many things and i just looked at him like (-_-;)

upon reaching the hub, at this time he was already whining about how hungry he was loooolllll so we walked towards the food area and then realized that the hawker center actually serves malay food also!!! and while walking around to survey the different menus, i spotted claypot chicken rice!!!! which i really wanted to get but han said they only serve that around 6pm and it was only around 2+pm daheck. so i was like okkkkk nvmmmmm and went to look for other food to eat. i saw a few people eating pasta and it made me feel like having pasta too so i asked han to help me order a plate of cabonara but wah it sucks man. like tbvvvvh it’s wayyy too salty for my liking. i barely even ate it, and felt so bad for wasting so much food. even with the grass jelly drink han got me, the saltiness still lingers uGhhh. oh and han got chicken rice for himself!!!! the moment he came back to the seat he was complaining about how long it was and i was like ah maybe cus it’s lunch now so it’s more crowded and he was like,

han: no??? there isn’t even a line but the person preparing the food i ordered took so long *frowns* i’m damn hungry sia then still must wait so long me: o mannnn han: then i realized the drink stall here also open but i went all the way to the other side to buy *points to his milk tea*

HAHAHAHAHAHA

oh and the weather was so erratic today too. it was sunny one time then started pouring for awhile, and then sunny again, then drizzled again.

since it was sunny again, i told han to follow with the same plan uh – which was to head over to gardens by the bay (at this point of time i didn’t know that the observatory isn’t free HAHA)

oh and smth rly cute!! i casually mentioned that i wanted some ice cream and he was raised his voice and went like “what you want la!!” and i was like????? and then he said “make up ur mind la u want this la that la u know i want to buy everything for you right” and i was just *puts hand on chest where the heart is* happy bc han wants to feed me hahahahahahahaha but no la we ended up not getting ice cream hehe

then we took the train to marina bay pier??? i think idk but it’s the pier la cus han said “follow the map and we won’t go wrong” BUT OH BOY WERE WE SO WRONG LMAOooOo. apparently as listed on the website, we’re supposed to go to bayfront mrt since it’s way nearer from there so i told him “hey let’s just walk back to the mrt and take the train to bayfront” but he was like “no la we’re already here we just take the bus then will reach alr” and i was like??????? okkkkk if u say so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

so while waiting for the bus my whole body was screaming at me to stop torturing it with the stupid heat and in turn, i literally became a monster and went on a rampage about how i rly hate the sun and how it should go away (pls don’t. i rly like the sun but omg pls lower your heat) and han was just being all patient with me and trying to make me feel better about things hahaha he knows how much of a bitch i can be when i’m overheated and im so thankful that he’s at least the sane and calm one bc i was definitely going insane from the heat at that time.

and then the bus came!!! BUT LOL ITS GOING TO DOWNTOWN??? and we weren’t sure if it was going to the bayfront area so we decided to just dropped off at the second stop and take the train instead. from there then we just followed the signs and TADA!!!! we’ve arrived!!!!!!!

at this point i thought the heat was quite bearable maybe since it was quite shady bc of all the plants and trees idk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and then we just decided to randomly walk around (it’s my first time there!!! and his second time today) and then bc han can’t stand the heat anymore, he asked me if i wanted to go in the gift shop for the aircon hahaahahah to which i obviously said yes to 😂 and while we were on our way out, i saw this really cute lip gloss that apparently has real flowers in it!!! i wanted to get it but han was like “takmo la mahal la kata nak save duit” hahaahahhahahahahahahaha taik but ya i didn’t get it in the end. i haven’t even finish using my current lip stuff soOoOoo

then we continued walking and that’s when we realized that to go and see the pumpkins, we would have to go in the observatory :( and then han was like “do u wanna go??” and i was like….. “nah it’s fine” and then he was like “if u wanna go i can pay…… for u only la haahhaha” and i just looked at him like r u mad why would i go in alone without u???????

so i asked him if he wanna go anywhere else if not we can head back to the mrt and maybe idk walk around or smth and he was like hmmm ok then.

on the way back, i pulled him towards the power plants thingy??? idk what its called tbh but it’s in the pictures!!!!! they use solar energy and shit it’s cool. then we snapped some photos together and wah y'all the lighting rly damn daebak la hahaha makes my skin look damn good even though it’s like shit and even though i was perspiring as heck and my hair was all just sticking to my forehead i was like u know what i can’t miss this good ass lighting i gotta take some photos man and that’s how we spent i think close to about an hour just sitting there taking photos both on my phone and the instax i bought along hahahahah

by the time we walked back, it started drizzling a little so we quickly rushed towards the elevator to the mrt bc um hello who wanna get drench? definitely not me hahaha. thennnn from the mrt we decided to walk around the shoppes since han haven’t rly been there before. he kept saying how there’s prolly not much sale bc the goods are expensive as heck $$$$$. and i told him that’s the power of brand names!!!!! like people pay for branding and i guess quality comes after la hahaha

and then after awhile i asked him if he still wanted to walk around and he was like “no ah for what there’s nothing to see alr all the same” and i was like hahahaha ok then so we walked back to the mrt and take the train all the way to paya lebar. from there we changed lines and took the train to bedok. i told him i wanna grab some food for dinner (also bc i was feeling quite hungry already since i didn’t finish my lunch). han ended up getting his usual pizza fix from pezzo and i got some sushi and a couple stick of fried goodness from ock.

oh and i bought two bras today since it was on sale!!!!! i hope it fucking fits bc it’s supposed to be a lifting bra and i got a cup smaller since i read online that you’re supposed to get a size small for lifting/push-up bras ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

and thennnnnn we decided to head home. han sent me home as usual hHahahaah and then we ate our dinner together before he fell asleep. i honestly dunno how he can sleep on smth so hard but i guess he must have been pretty worn out (bc he didn’t sleep a wink) from the whole adventure we had today.

it was a good day!!! if i say this i have a feeling han won’t give it to me often anymore (him and his lame ass too much of a good thing can be bad theory) but i super love when he gives me cheek kisses wtf like i know it’s such a simple action but the way he does it makes me go all jelly for realz i rly love it la don’t ever stop!!!!!!!!