#OK LISTEN I WAS JOKING ABOUT MY LAST SIMILAR POST

[rexscanonwife]

Oh boy so. My partner and I started rewatching Lazytown 0///0

[thatstupidplant]

So, I said I wohld have been gone for a while...

But I saw this artpeace  by @isjasz (her tumblr) and it became my reason to live

So... Enjoy this oneshot while it last :D

Ps: I wanted to post it on AO3 too, but I don't have an account and I found out there is a FUCKING WAITING LIST, LIKE- WHYYYY I DON'T WANNA WAIT FOR MAY 18TH

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Hotguy looked at at the city from the ceiling, it all looked to peaceful during the night.

He immediately forgot what he was here for though, which was a problem and a very Scar thing to do. But unfortunately he wasn't allowed to be Scar at the moment. His train of though stopped when an arrow almost hit him.

Ah yes, Cuteguy.

Cuteguy wasn't the best one with bow and arrows, he was way better at a close battle, but he was good enough to startle Hotguy when needed. In this moment it was needed.

Hotguy turned around to see who almost made him blind, ready to trasform to atoms whoever attacked him, but his face got painted with a smile as soon as he looked at the slim figure above him, in a near roof trying his best not to die of laughter.

Scaf realized that the painter decorating his face also, accidentally, splashed a little bit of red.

Just a tiny bit, hard to see without the mask and impossible with it.

"Hotguy, wasn't expecting you to be early" the avian figure said while getting closer.

While the pink and white wings made an awfull distraction, the taller hero remembered that Cuteguy had to talk to him about something important

"Why do you think I'd be late? I wouldn't want my darling to wait" The taller hero said while jokingly kissing the other hero's hand.

Until he noticed something.

The mask was normal, his wings were normal, but the outfit was different: Cuteguy usually wore a white and pink attire, which made him the 'opposite' of Hotguy, but today he was wearing black shirt and pants with his jacket. That was his 'hidden' outfit, used when the avian wasn't meant to be seen (it was something Hotguy didn't need as much as Cuteguy because his outfit was already pretty dark)

Hotguy had dark hair, Cuteguy's were light; Hotguy was tall, Cuteguy had the intention to be; Hotguy was flirtous while Cuteguy was...

"Are you listening to me?"

Scar mind said no, but his expression said 'please don't ask me that'

"Oh yeah, totally"

Cuteguy folded his hands. A suspicious expression on his face.

"Then what did I say?"

Yep. He was screwed.

The brunette hero searched is memory, but it was empty.

"Youu... weerreee.... talking about... safety?"

"No."

Fuck

Yes, Hotguy was kind of screwed now.

"Ok, ok, I wasn't listening"

Scar said while moving his hands. Cuteguy slapped his face muttering something similar a 'this idiot', but Scar didn't hear it well.

"I was talking about what the public think of us!"

"And what does the public think of us?"

The avian started to mentally pray God to, please, have a smarter partner. But he started to remember all the time Hotguy had brillant ideas and hated the fact that he was just too innocent to be an adult man.

"The fact that everyone thinks we're dating, Hotguy"

Scar stopped. No, it wasn't Hotguy, it was Scar. The man hid his fear with the flirtuois smile and the confident attitude, but he couldn't lie saying the though of kissing those lips interested him...

'No Scar, you can fuck your collegue'

"And what is we made it true?"

Hotguy started to walk towards Cuteguy, with his sicure composure,a playful smile and an emotion Cuteguy couldn't innitially recognize.

But when the realization came, it made his stomach go upside down. Why did Hoteguy had lust in his eyes? He always joked about kissing him, calling him 'his boyfriend', offering his hand and playful flirting like these.

'Cuteguy' didn't have something to complain about it, but Grian hated how his face would become more and more like the red of his natural wings color.

He started walking back, searching to escape the bumping of his heart. He hit the border of the roof that, fortunately and unfortunately, had a small wall. He sat on the wall and waited. Hotguy stopped right infront of his face, looking in his eyes. Grian made his 'Cuteguy' mask fell off and decided to relax, just relax, even if Hotguy was always clingy it was rare to have him this close so maybe he should have just enjoyed the momeng. His expression calmed down, the sleepyness of the middle of the night appeared.

"So... do you accept my offe-"

Hotguy almost jumped when CUteguy's head landed on his shoulder. If you asked him, he would have said he was completely calm, but his heartrate said something else. Did Cuteguy really fell asleep on him? What was he suppose to do now?

"I'm not asleep, I just want..." Cute guys without continuing and putting his arms behind Hotguy's back.

They both remained there, too scared to scare the moment away by moving. After what we can count as some seconds, but for them seemed hours, Hotguy put his hands on Cuteguy's back making it the best hug Grian recieved in years.

When was the last time he was hugged like this? When was the last time someone cared so much?

They stayed there, waiting for the morning as the sun started rising from behind.

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Author's note:

Idk if I like it or not, maybe I could make a second attempt in the future.

Anygays, gor now this is it, it was a pleasure feeling some Scarian, something that I will do more in the future with a ne-

*COFF COFF*

I MEAN... EH EH... NOTHING!

[seerofmike]

mike 2023 year in review

whats up, this is something i started last year where i decided at the end of the year i would talk about 7 movies + 7 viddy games i enjoyed this year (the movies will be 2023 releases, the games will be all over the place). this is so i can look back on the future on the things i enjoyed this year but since im posting it publicly most of these will be written as recommendations i guess

also i did not have a lot of money to see movies this year so most of these will be IP movies :( sawi. also also 2023 was a mega good year for gaming. or so i've heard. most of the big 2023 games this year either came out on consoles i don't own (nintendo + sony releases), are next-gen only as far as xbox goes or unable to run on my dinky little laptop (AW2, the finals, re4, etc) or are just games in genres i dont really give a shit about (bg3, starfield, sea of stars). significant 2023 games i did play this year were dave the diver and dredge but not enough to be on the list. maybe next year hehe

anyways without further ado. my top 7 movies and top 7 games this year, in alternating (movie/game/move/game/etc) AND alphabetical order:

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

yeah you knew this shit was going on here. i saw this movie 8(eight) times in theaters. the first two times were because of the audio issues with the first cut but the rest was because the movie fucked babeeeeey. you don't need me to tell you how good this was

The Cosmic Wheel Sisterhood (2023)

ok listen before i recommend this game i have to be mean to make a point first. if you know anything about me you know i think tarot is stupid as fuck and i think witchy nonsense is. well. just that. nonsense. it makes me roll my eyes especially the particular brand of like. r/WitchesVersusPatriarchy stuff. man i just dont like any sort of spiritualism or religious stuff. with that being said this game fucks tremendously and i cannot recommend it enough

you get to design your own tarot deck and each card will be unique and have meanings based on the templates you're given. you can then use these cards to tell your friends' fortunes. except it goes way deeper than that but i dont want to spoil the twist for you. also it kind of becomes a different game midway through but i like management games so its fine. anyways good game and very repayable with all the card designs you can make and fortunes you can read. art style is also very nice.

(more under da cut)

Barbie

man i know a lot of people dont like this movie after the hype wore off because its Baby's First Feminism. and that's fine. i don't really think it was trying to achieve some uber deep commentary. but the set design and costuming was great and you could tell the actors and crew were having so much fucking fun and as someone who wants to go into movies i will always like movies where the people making them are having fun.

The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog (2023)

i like the visual novel where everyone dresses in a funny costume and sonic fucking dies ok. it was so cute and had very good characterization for people i didnt think would ever be in the focus of a game again like espio ........go play the murder of sonic thee hedge

Bottoms

this one is probably my 2nd favorite movie of the year tbh. i need more absurdist gay comedies. i wish i could go on about how hilarious this movie is but i dont wanna give away all jokes but anyways go watch the lesbian incel movie and have a good time

Potionomics (2022)

if i had a nickel for every gay witch game i played this year with significant card and management mechanics and appealing art i'd have two nickels. which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice.

anyways potionomics is absolutely my favorite game that i've played this year. it's not all that similar to cosmic wheel sisterhood despite the basic concept and some gameplay elements. CWS is more like a visual novel. potionomics is a fucking nightmare and i love it SO much.

you brew potions and then sell them by haggling with customers using cards. customers can haggle back and it can get VERY difficult. everything you do takes up limited time slots such as gathering ingredients and brewing potions and visiting your friends and btw you can visit your friends and all of the characters are incredibly charming and i had trouble picking which one to romance. (roxanne my beloved <3) (also the white haired character in the screenshot above is a nonbinary goblin :) ) (this game has CAT PIRATES)

the game also rewards you with befriending the characters and gives you cards the deeper your relationships become and new gameplay mechanics open themselves up to you until the last couple stretches of the game. it's very fun, very stressful, but very rewarding once you figure out how to maximize your profits and use up your time slots effectively. i had a fucking blast.

also the animation is so good. literally the best animation on this sort of stylized 3d model in a game i've ever seen. PLEASE play potionomics.

Guardians of the Galaxy 3

god man. i just love the guardians so much. tbh this is my least favorite movie of the trilogy but all three of them are easily better than nearly every other marvel movie regardless. i love nebula and rocket so much and seeing small moments between them like her choking up when she hears he's okay fucking Gets To Me. i loved me asshole mercenaries who become a found family and try to be good people.

Prey (2017)

prey is not my favorite game this year nor my favorite survival sim but the first five or so hours of this game were the most engrossed i was in a game this year. towards the middle and ending portions it starts to lose me a little bit (the game is still good!) but the beginning was absolutely the best part.

being trapped in space with aliens that can mimic items in your surroundings leaves you extremely paranoid, and combing through the station finding recordings and notes and evidence of the lives of the people who were once there, knowing that most of them are probably dead--while monsters lurk around the corner ready to fuck your shit up--was deeply engrossing. i wish i could erase my brain and experience those first hours again being terrified of everything that moved before i got a shotgun and figured out how to win fights pretty regularly lol

Killers of the Flower Moon

if you're gonna watch a 3 hour movie this year about atrocities committed in the past i'd recommend this one over The Other One tbh. i found it deeply engaging and thought lily gladstone gave a great performance that easily outshone leo. the events of the movie are deeply harrowing and i think there is definitely some discussion to be had about how the movie centers on the white men despite scorses's intentions but the technical work was great and i think it really does a good job of showing just how deep this shit went in the community as opposed to being 'just a couple of bad whites' or w/e other narrative people will try to spin.

Psycholonials (2021)

im gonna go ahead and say right now i don't really recommend this game unless you are familiar with andrew hussie and HS/their other work. i think the game was fine but tbh it probably would not have been on my list if it was made by anyone else. that's not to say it's bad, just like. nothing mind blowing.

that being said i did very much enjoy this game in the sense that, as someone who DOES know a thing or two about andrew hussie, the way they feel about their work (especially HS in the years afterward), it was interesting seeing them make a game about starting a cult by accident, with all the gender fuckery and feelings of paranoia about being cancelled and how out of control its become feeling like a little glimpse into them. watching how manic and obsessive the protag gets with several years of Hussie Context(tm) makes this way more interesting than the game itself if im being fully honest.

if the game truly sucked it wouldn't be on here but do take my word for it that you'd probably appreciate it way more if you were a HS fan LMAO

Skinamarink (2022)

ok so technically skinamarink came out in 2022 BUT it got a theatrical release in january 2023 which is when *i* saw it so i'm counting it as a 2023 movie. anyways skinamarink is simultaneously very scary and also boring as shit and i could never actually recommend this movie to anyone but the fact that it was made at all and made a PROFIT is outstanding to me and i'm obsessed with it as an aspiring filmmaker. an hour and fourty minutes of staring at a dark corner to build atmosphere. fuck yeah

Venba (2023)

this one's very short but i found it very compelling despite how short it was. it almost felt TOO short but i like it for what it is. as the son (and grandson) of mexican immigrants who often regretted migrating for cultural and language reasons this really connected with me and the cooking puzzles were fun but i really wisht here was more of them. it's less about the puzzles though and more about the narrative and i thought it was really smart to make the throughline food. very good game. buy it.

TMNT: Mutant Mayhem

look at my fucking sons. everyone say thank you spider verse for changing the animation industry. i love how the boys' VAs were just goofing off and having fun and bouncing off each other it was great

This War of Mine (2014)

this one is a survival management game where you have to scavenge for materials somewhere in war-torn eastern europe with some stealth mechanics. some of your characters die very easy and some characters have 'negative' traits like being unable to sneak out or fight or drink up all your alcohol and it's not like the best in its genre but i did spend a ton of time in it. i still need to finish like a single scenario and not a custom game LMAO

[maythearo]

JAMIL NEWS!!!

Jamil Viper was found at the streets of Pernambuco, enjoying the Carnaval and dancing frevo! In a exclusive interview, he said his favorite food is acarajé and coxinha

Jokes aside, I really like the idea of Scarabia duo, Octatrio and Savannaclaw enjoying Brazil! And I really like that Malleus would use something similar to that Hawaiian shirt he bought in the Yasmina silk event (I really don't know what that shirts name, I just know its the same as the Genie in the end of Aladdin). And I also love thinking about Jamil using traditional São João outfit (mano, ele com uma camisa xadrez vermelha e preta... Oh homem lindo).

I want to claim Jamil as Brazilian, but I can't-

Do you have any HCs like that?

And omg you opened comissions!!!! I'm so happy, even if I don't have money for it, IM STILL VERY HAPPY FOR U FOR A REASON I CAN'T EXPLAIN, I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY!

Beijitos!

- The BR Jamil Simp Anon

First of all, you're so sweet, thank you 😫 and second ANON LEMME TELL YOU SOMETHING YOU'RE MAKING MY BRAIN GO NUTS CAUSE I WANNA DRAW ALL OF THAT, AS A GOOD BRAZILIAN ARTIST WOULD! Also hello Jamil bbygirl what are you doing here in Brazil haha twirls hair twirls hair

Omg I'm thinking on the spot rn of some good br headcanons, and I completely agree with you, out of all the dorms, Scarabia, Octavinelle and Savanaclaw would definitely vibe the most in Brazil. Hold on lemme breath in before I shove all my hcs into this post hold on. Eng speaking mutuals and followers I will hold yall hostage to listen to my insane rambles ok here we go

First and foremost, I just know Ruggie is brazilian 100%, and I think we can all agree to that, he's our boy 🙌 he would absolutely drag Leona and Jack around, getting them to try a little bit of everything whenever they get the chance. The hyena boy would pile a bunch of stuff on Jack's arms saying "You HAVE to try this snack- wait have some caldo de cana too... OH you can't forget this piece of candy-" and last thing you know Jack is just buried under pounds of little treats and trinkets.

I personally visited very little States here, but at least around São Paulo and Rio, one of my favorite things to do is to browse those classic, super pretty handmade jewelry they sell on the beach, decorated with crystals and stones, and I just want to get them all even though I might not even use half of the stuff I buy. But anyways, Leona doing that. Leona getting tererê de cabelo to go with the braids. He's gonna spend so much money with clothes and accessories and he's gonna look stunning doing it.

Btw btw I'm obsessed with a store called Atame (@/voudeatame on ig) they have the most brazilian jewelry and clothes ever and the designs are gorge, I should draw Leona wearing something inspired by that someday 😭

Bro if there's anything we all learn in major tourist spots is that you gotta be smart with prices and everything, keep an eye out to not get scammed, unfortunately... But you know what, Octavinelle is just chill with that. You think anyone can scam AZUL? That's impossible. Anyone tries anything with the octatrio, the person is just gonna get scammed back. Jokes aside, I picture Floyd wearing the good ol havaianas, shorts, and maybe #those glasses wherever he goes, Jade might even go along with it every now and then, why not.

This randomly reminds me of Ace cause his casual outfits definitely exclusively consist of that + a random football team shirt. I couldn't care less about football but listen. Corinthians. Simply cause he's annoying and that would be very in character of him (É MEMES, NAO ME MATEM CORINTHIANOS)

Have you ever noticed how Trey looks like the twst version of Zé Carioca. Let that sink in.

Thinking about Malleus, don't you think he would love to visit historical towns and monuments? There's so much history in our architecture, he'd find most fascinating I'm sure.

I just know Jamil and Kalim would absolutely own the dance floor in carnaval, like. No dobts about that. Kalim specially, would love to participate in any bloquinhos de carnaval if he could. Sounds exhausting for me to even be amongst a single one, but okay Kalim, get it I guess 💃 Scarabia and Brazil we share vibes!!!!!

You mentioned the São João fit, and I also thought of Epel, that boy invented Festa Junina, fr. He throws biribinha/estalinhos everywhere to piss off Vil. Also Jamil oh homem perfeito c é doido, n é possível uma coisa dessas.

São João stalls under the management of Octavinelle and it's hell on earth

Sam would open a famous lojinha de 1,99 for sure, I will not elaborate. Oh also whenever I stumble upon frog shaped reco-reco I think of him, I think he would sell them idk idk

Ruggie will show Kalim those brown colored glass plate sets every grandma got in their houses, and tell him they are indestructible.

"Jamil, Jamil! Check this out! Ruggie says these plates NEVER break! Oh we need to have them in Scarabia, pleeaseee!"

"What do you mean they never break? No, Kalim don't-"

Kalim throws it to the floor, it immediately shatters in a million pieces. "I think it hit a weird angle, that must be it."

Idia = alanzoka

Me @ Jamil:

[leatherbookmark]

+x+ new album thoughts:

1. devil by the window -- i’m sorry. i heard the bass line and i was halfway sold, and then the song didn’t fuck up anywhere that much and this is how i’m contractually obliged to like it. one thing that bothers me a bit it’s that it’s entirely in english, their pronunciation is distracting sometimes, but what can you do! it’s kpop, of course there’s english

okay, no, actually it would benefit from one last chorus with some additional Bang. i get that the inhale at the end was probably supposed to be pre-intro to the next song but. stop having songs be silky smooth and barely longer than 3 mins :(

2. sugar rush ride -- oh i see we’re not abandoning the pop-punk (?) thing. good for them, i’m always down for some nice guitars. oh, this track is also kind of light and fresh-- ah, an anti-drop. well. i’m not sure about that, i’m already listening with the volume a bit louder than i normally do and the song still lacks that punch. just release the tension! put some back into those drums, would ya?! and the bass too! the previous track had a nice bass line, but this one seems to only have trace amounts of it. hybe’s musical minimalism in title tracks seems to continue and i’m not a fan, i think

3. happy fools -- i’m... not particularly a fan of bossa nova/-adjacent stuff, and i don’t know the featuring artist. neither the verses nor the chorus had a particularly strong impression on me, like. this is a song and i guess it exists. oh, the featuring artist is a western english-speaking female artist, and i could hear “korea” and “txt” in her rap. ok. literally why though. what does she introduce to the song. honestly txt have had a couple of those collabs with female artists and each of them was like... oaky, but why. how are they special or somehow necessary. like why is this happening. i don’t know. the song is less than 3 minutes long, though, so... moving on

4. tinnitus (wanna be a rock) -- the title was intriguing. the sound is plink-plonky moombahton which i’m not immune to, and the juxtaposition of the title and the sound means i’ll probably have to look up the lyrics. oh, okay, they slipped into the chorus a little bit too seamlessly for me, but i guess if you take hybe’s recent minimalism obsession in consideration, it kinda works for a chill bouncy thing to. well. bounce to. but again, the song is roughly as long as the previous one, and at this point it just seems like lazy music making. this song is like, Nice, in a ‘nothing special, but pleasant to me personally, will listen again when i’m bored’ way. you could make it longer and give it a more lasting impression, it’s not like every second of it is perfect because you’ve worked on it so hard. eh

5. farewell, neverland -- ok, the guitar in the intro has a nice vibe, PLEASE keep it throughout the song, PLEASE. oh, the rhythm is similar, and the guitar indeed is There through the whole song, but Other Instruments Join It and the chorus has an actual impact, and the post-chorus is there and does too! what am i hearing! gasp! electric guitar! jokes aside, the melody has this kind of conflicted, slightly nostalgic feeling to it -- judging by the random english words i’m able to make out, that’s exactly the vibe they were going for. but again, it’s short as fuck.

final verdict -- yeah, aside from the initial “oh there’s a bass line!” pleasant surprise, this album is rather... tame... i can see the three tracks out of five total growing on me even to the point of becoming earworms, but *sigh*. maybe it’s just Back In My Times Things Were Better speaking through me, but i think I liked their more... textured? layered? earlier sound. their current stuff feels too polished and empty, and even if it sounds pleasant, i feel it’s... a bit of a shame to bop to it seriously because of how low-effort it sounds lmao. surprise me every once in a while, maybe?

like... idk, maybe it’s bullshit reaching, but i feel like maybe this kind of producing makes the instrumentals so underwhelming layers and things-happening-wise to... make the vocals pop more? perhaps? but it doesn’t work on me, because these vocals are... well, they are! i’m sure the boys are skilled and i have nothing against them, but these are not voices i’d delight in listening to read a phone book, if you get me. like. everyone in kpop is a skilled vocalist, else they wouldn’t be here. give me music.

tl;dr well i liked 3 out of 5 songs so ★★★☆☆

[genshrineimpact]

Did the people of liyue build a statue of morax and goddess!reader together( I was thinking about something similar to this post?🧍‍♀️) https://kalims.tumblr.com/post/663647093061255168/listen-what-if-morax-had-a-lover-long-ago

Or maybe something different??

OMG THAT WOULD BE ADORABLE AAA

⬙⤠ masterlist ⤝⬙

ok maybe not for the statue of the seven itself, since you're not exactly an archon.

BUT! the liyue citizens (especially those who used to be your people, since i hc they would be proficient in forging, sculpting, etc since those are skills that are most sought after for living as the god of war's people) most definitely will have your statues made! it won't be a huge sculpture like inazuma's statue of the omnipresent god, mostly because you've already told them before to not do something so extravagant and instead they should focus their energy & resources to do something that would be more beneficial. they're mostly smaller statues, those that people would usually put on the wall or a small altar.

morax standalone statues usually symbolize wealth and knowledge. they're put on shop storefronts (you know, like those maneki-neko statues?), banks, studies, and libraries. your standalone statues symbolize peace and are used as a warding from evil. you can find them at the entrance of most households and temples.

now if it's the statue of the two of you, it's a different story altogether. obviously, it symbolizes peace, love, a lasting union, and prosperity. they're the ones most commonly found in the houses of newlyweds, and the temples where these statues are available to be worshipped are always packed with lovers and families alike. even after your passings, this continues to be the case.

after stepping down from your positions, zhongli comes home and cheekily places a statue of the two of you right in the middle of your living room's table. you come home to it and gives your husband a confused look. he merely shrugs and says, "it's a normal thing to have the statues of rex lapis and [your_god_name] in one's household, dear. i'm unsure as to why you are so confused."

starting then, it becomes a running joke between the two of you to 'pray' to the statue whenever you want to poke fun at each other:

"rex lapis, it seems like my husband is just as hopeless in the kitchen even after all these years. i wish you would descend and impart him with the knowledge of your cooking skill, which i am sure would be as vast as the number of contracts you have made."

"[your_god_name], it appears that this spouse of mine has became tired of me recently. no longer i receive ten kisses a day. it has been a week since i have only received nine. i fear our marriage is on the brink of collapse." childe is a bad influence on him, you notice.

© genshrineimpact | 2022 ◆ no repost. reblogs much appreciated. feel free to reach out to submit suggestions, feedback, comments, or if you just want to talk!

◇ taglist ◇ @paintingsofdragonspine | @genshinparty

ps. if you want to be removed/added from the taglist, just send an ask or dm me!

[mythos-writes]

Peaky Bloopers 2: Electric Boogaloo

Peaky Blinders Cast x Reader (platonic)

Plot: Just more bloopers and funny moments :)

Word Count: 1038

Warning: Swearing, went overboard on the last one :)

Part 1 Peaky Blinders Masterlist

I do not give permission for anyone to repost/ post my stories, with or without credit. Reblogs, comments, etc. are more than welcomed, but please DO NOT copy and paste my stories that you may like onto another platform.

The scene was supposed to have Florance run into the back room of the garrison, warning her older brothers about some news that had graced her, but (Y/N) couldn’t get the line out. 

“TOMMY!” Florence yells, barging through the door. The tone of their sister’s voice caught their attention. 

“Florance? What happened?” Tommy question. 

“Billy Kimber… he was trying to… fuuuuccckkk,” (Y/N) groans out, forgetting the end of the line. 

“Go back, do it again,” Paul jokes. She sends him a silly face before going back out. Joe went over and locked the door of the room. Paul and Cillian hid their laughs before the director yells action. (Y/N) went for the door, but just ran into the door. She tries to open it, realizing it’s locked.  

“You bloody fuckers,” she says from the other side of the door, causing them to laugh. She started to knock on the door. A crew member came to open the door, revealing a not too impressed (Y/N).

Florence and Tommy were standing in front of Alfie’s desk. Alfie went to sit down in his chair when all of a sudden. 

*RRRRIIIPPPP* Tom looked between Cillian and (Y/N), both trying to not laugh. 

“You okay over there?” (Y/N) asked, holding in her giggles. 

“I think I just split my pants,” Tom says, causing (Y/N) to crumple to floor in fits of laughter. 

“Wait really?” one of the crew members asks. Tom stood up and turned around, and sure enough, the seam of the pants was completely ripped apart. This caused (Y/N) to laugh harder. 

“I think you broke (Y/N)” Cillian comments, trying to stifle his laughter. She calms down before trying to speak proper words. 

“I am so sorry, but that was so unexpected,” she says, some giggles still falling from her lips. 

Florence, Arthur, John, and Tommy were getting out of the car, getting ready to meet with some business, but Florance didn’t get that far. 

“Um… I’m stuck,” (Y/N) calls out. The three turned around to see that her dress got caught in the car door. 

“(Y/N)...”  Joe says, not impressed. 

“Hey, listen, I didn’t do it on purpose. If I did the dress would have ripped,” she states. “Now, help me,” she states.

(Y/N) decided she was going to ‘prank’ the cast with a little help from the makeup and costume departments. She wanted to dress up like Cillian and walk around the set, trying to find as many people as possible, then finishing off with Cillian. As she was getting her makeup done, Helen walked into the makeup trailer. 

“What is going on here?” she asks. 

“I’m turning into Cillian,” (Y/N) replies, getting a chuckle out from her friend. 

“Oh this will be good,” Helen says while sitting in one of the other chairs. 

“Ok, now let's finish getting you into the costume,” one of the artists said. (Y/N) finished putting on the suit before putting on the flat cap and looking into the mirror. She was shocked at what she said. She looked very similar to Cillian and it was almost scary. 

“You guys did an amazing job,” she replies, hugging the team that helped. “Helen, what do you think?” she turns to the woman in the chair. Helen opened her eyes and looked in her direction and gasped. 

“Oh my god. That looks amazing,” she replies.    

“I feel like I could play a good Thomas Shelby,” (Y/N) comments, still looking at herself. 

“Now the question is can you sound like Tommy?” Helen says with a smile. (Y/N) cleared her voice before reciting one of his lines. 

“Oh, I don’t pay for suits. My suits are on the house, or the house burns down,” she smiles seeing the shock come over their faces. It wasn't 100% the voice Cillian does, but it was passable that people would have a hard time differing the two.

“Have you been practicing that? Bloody hell (Y/N) that’s brilliant,” Helen says. 

“I did some voice acting before, so I had to do different voices all the time,” she says. “Now, if you excuse me, I have some friends to bother,” she says, fixing her hat before walking out of the trailer. She starts to walk around, messing with some people, them all enjoying her act. She sees Paul and Joe standing by one of the trailers and decided to put her plan into action. 

“Oh you two, don't you have better things to do?” she yells out in her ‘Tommy’ voice. The two jumped a little and turned to her. They were shocked at first, not recognizing her at all. 

“What shocked someone can play Tommy better than Cil?” she questions, dropping the deep voice. The two were shocked. 

“(Y/N)?!” They ask. She laughs at their reaction. 

“Bloody hell, if Cil ever loses his voice, you could just dub over the poor bastard,” Paul says, getting a closer look at her costume. The three get a quick picture together, wanting to remember this moment. 

“Thank you very much, now would you two know where Cil is?” she asks. 

“I think he is filming with Sophie and Harry,” Joe says. She nods before going to the sound stage. The two started to follow her, recording her. As they get closer, she had to stop herself from getting too giddy. She takes a deep breath before moving closer. 

“Oh, I am going to spin a coin for your gig, Cillian Murphy,” she yells, getting their attention. They were all confused, but Cillian was the most. Hearing his voice come out of someone who wasn’t himself. He sees Paul and Joe behind them, so he was even more confused. 

“What?” he asks. (Y/N) then takes off her hat, leaving the three shocked. (Y/N), Paul and Joe all start laughing at their reaction. 

“Bloody hell, this looks amazing,” Sophie says, getting closer to her. (Y/N) does a little spin before standing in a pose that reads ‘tada’. 

“Alright, so I get to go home and you finish filming for me, great,” Cillian jokes causing (Y/N) to roll her eyes. 

“You wish,” she giggles.

[fandomfreak404]

Strangers, not for long

Summary: Harry was bored on his last day off for a while, before he embarked on his world tour. He would be gone for over three months. So he wanted to soak up the city in a new way before he left (again). That’s what brought him here, now, to you.

a/n: This is my first post based on one of my many daydreams about this man, so please, no hate! I know that him reading love is a mixtape, releasing pleasing and love on tour don’t actually align, but let’s pretend they do.

t/w: unedited, trash writing, first post, includes a bad pun, joke about twilight books (no hate!).

side note: I have a shorter part 2 written for this, which is now up!

song: in my head i imagine bookstore girl by charlie burg playing

word count: 860 - 870 words

harry styles x reader

You’re browsing books in the classics section towards the end of the shop when the bell rings, signalling the arrival of another customer. You, however, continue to peruse the shelves of this collection that you know all too well (pun intended). Dickens, Joyce, Fitzgerald, Bronte, Alcott. Name it, you’ve read it. Twice.

You turn the corner heading to your second favourite section, romance. Here, surprisingly, you are not alone. The tall stranger is reading a blurb so intensely he doesn’t seem to notice your presence. You proceed to browse the books you already have and love, when you notice he has picked one up. Love Is a Mixtape. ‘From a stranger to a stranger, I recommend to the highest degree,’ you say making your opinion known. He looks up quite shocked for a second but nevertheless replies playfully, ‘Yes, but what is your measurement system?’ ‘Sorry?’ ‘What would your other recommendations be because, for all I know, you could think that Twilight is a good read.’ ‘How dare you!,’ you gasp, ‘my word is gospel.’ As you laugh, you playfully touch his arm. While you are giggling, he takes the time to admire your delicate, manicured hands, adorned with gold rings that match your gold necklace. ‘How so?’ ‘I am an avid reader and if you don’t believe me … let’s strike a deal.’ ‘Ooo, I’m listening.’ ‘I will recommend you another book and if you don’t like either of them, I will ... reimburse you for both.’ ‘That’s it?’ ‘That’s it.’ ‘So, you’re a daredevil,’ he jokes, ‘fine. What have i got to lose?’ ‘£20 it seems.’ ‘How are you so sure that I’ll like them?,’ he says following you. ‘Trust me’. And he did.

You continue to laugh and joke as you walk around the store. Suddenly, catching him quite off guard, you ask, ‘do you reread books? Sorry, it’s such a random question-‘ ‘No, it’s fine. In fact, better than most questions I get asked.’ You give him a questioning look, and that’s when it hits him - you don’t know who he is. This is intriguing, especially for someone as narcissistic as Harry. ‘I guess.’ ‘Anyways, yes I do. ‘My Policeman,’ ‘Burning in water, Drowning in flame,’ uhh - and ‘The Course of Love’ are definitely worth the read, if not twice’, he admits while twiddling his bottom lip between his thumb and index finger. Your eyes fall to his painted fingernails, slightly chipped, with a range of colours, similar to yours. You stop yourself before he notices you admiring him.

Little do you know, he’s doing the same. Admiring your naturally pretty, clear skin. ‘What’s your name?’, he questions. You hesitate for a moment, and then say, ‘ok listen. Now this might sound weird so hear me out - I say we don’t do the greeting thing. We put this down as a good day and will remember it when we are old and grey, but all it will ever be is a good day. See, it’s better that way.’ (himym inspo - if you get it, you get it) ‘You make a fair point, stranger,’ he agrees, winking.

He asks you about your nails and what products you use, explaining that he is partial to doing his own. ‘It’s this brand, not sure if you’ve heard of it, Pleasing. I got sent a PR package from them. I think it’s by some singer, ugh what’s his name?! Harry ... something or other. Let me see…’ and that was the moment you wanted to die. You rambled on and on and on about how you didn’t listen to this guy’s music, but you knew a select few songs and it was him - he was Harry Styles. You felt stupid and apologised profusely, but he just laughed. ‘It’s not funny.’ ‘Oh, yes it is.’ ‘How could you let me go on like that.’ ‘It was funny you have to admit. And a new experience, it’s rare and refreshing that someone doesn’t know me.’ ‘So, I guess I owe you a name,’ you said sighing. ‘So, I guess you do.’ ‘Although it’s pretty standard for me to meet people who don’t know my name ... y/n,’ you say, extending a hand. However, he doesn’t take it. Thinking that you may have offended him for some reason, you’re immediately confused. ‘y/n?’ ‘Yes…’ ‘As in the artist y/n?’ ‘Yes, how did you know that?’ ‘Oh my god. You’re amazing. I have one of your paintings.’ ‘No way.’ ‘Yes way.’ ‘This is something most people would boast about, because most people know you. I should quote you on my brochures or something,’ you say giggling. ‘This is so cool, you have purchased my art, art from me. Wow. You learn something new everyday.’ ‘I guess you do.’

You continue to flirt and joke for over an hour, but don’t realise the time. As you make your way to the counter, you make your purchases and say your goodbyes, reluctantly. Harry admires this beautiful woman as she walks out the door, causing that same bell to ring. A woman who he wants to know more about. A woman he must know more about.

[cockelores]

maybe not relevant or interesting for anyone except me, but i keep thinking about the nerd hq panel from 2014 and one question that was asked there, so I’m making a little analysis post <3 i also briefly looked through some posts from that time, but didn’t see this interaction mentioned anywhere, so! here it goes

the question starts at 9:27 and the whole answering goes til 14:30. (I’d say it’s worth watching it play out in the video first, just to be able to feel this a little more, u know)

the fan asks: “what has been the best/most memorable moment and experience this whole journey you guys have done with the show?”

jared: oh that’s easy. no, it actually is easy for me, i met my wife on the show. uh, yeah, the mother of my two kids. so right, that’s easy for me. good luck guys.

then he gives them this look and jensen waits a second and (without looking at him directly) says “thanks jared”

at the same time misha starts answering the question: for me it was the first time that I - I- slept with [a short pause that seems aaalmost deliberate here] jared’s wife

jensen nods a little exaggeratedly and looks around, and idk if it’s just me but he has a weird, sort of far away look in his eyes? like he’s thinking hard about an answer of his own or something. mark jokes about how misha is the father of jared’s two kids then, and jensen looks like he only grins at that because everyone else is laughing too, not like he necessarily listened all that well lol

misha fidgets and grins and looks a little awkward, but he throws a very short glance at jensen before looking at the audience again

they keep joking about that a little more, “are we live again? I’ll be more careful” and about someone in the audience

then jared asks: what about you sheppar-......ackles?

jensen turns to him and looks kind of caught off guard, turns to mark who asks “who?” and back to jared again and asks “what?” himself. he seems a little unprepared, actually audibly gulps when he makes an attempt at answering, stammers a little and passes the question on to mark at last

idk about you, but to me it looks like ever since jared answered the question at the beginning, jensen has come up with a very similar answer in his head - an answer that he’s obviously not gonna say out loud. and he’s sort of struggling to come up with an alternative and seems like he’d rather just be ignored and move on to the next question.

anyway, there’s some short banter between mark and the moderator, and then misha picks up where he left his previous answer: i have to say for me, and I’m not gonna distill it to a single moment, other than the one that i mentioned earlier. 

jared interrupts and makes a joke about how it was probably just a single moment, everyone laughs (sadly the camera doesn’t pan to jensen, would have liked to see how he reacted) and some jokes follow, and misha never finishes his answer

mark then asks “what about you jensen?” and jensen ONCE AGAIN seems to have expected that he could have gotten out of this one without answering and says “what?” and somehow manages to pass the question on to mark again

[not relevant for this post at all but here are two gifs that i just wanted to include

ok continuing with the post]

mark talks about how he was bullied on set by jared (as a joke but also, it makes me feel very uncomfy if what he said is true (also now after charcon i wonder why he said he wasn’t pranked by jared? (or did he say that, i didn’t watch)))

and then, at last, it looks like jensen has come up with an answer! he talks about how directing his father was a memorable experience for him and finishes his answer like this: there’s been a lot of great moments though over the past nine years. and i would say the fact we can say it has been nine years is one of the greatest things of the series that we can say, so thank you.

very curious to know if he is looking at mark or at misha here (the latter is not looking back) but this conclusion to the question gives me a lot of “i have some amazing pebbles in my life [pats misha’s shoulder]” vibes

anyway, just looking at all of this through cockles glasses sure is something! at least to me! starting with jared’s answer at the beginning, i think he has every right to say what he said, because meeting your spouse has got to have a very very significant meaning to you, but it is inevitably gonna put the other couple in a weird spot. they might like to repeat what he said, make it even funnier by turning to mark and repeat jareds words like “good luck mark!!” but yeah, obviously not happening. 

but then what misha answers at first does seem to me like it is an attempt? like a joke that is funny hearing in the most overt way, him literally joking about sleeping with jared’s wife, but also like an inside joke between the four of them who can see the subtext of what he is saying. and that’s also why i imagine the very brief pause after he says “sleeping with” was deliberate, because perhaps he was intending to give them a short heart attack, like he was gonna mention someone else after that 😀

and then there’s the whole thing with how jensen is acting throughout this. if i try to imagine myself in his position, it feels so logical that he’s acting kind of off? because he does get put on the spot a little here. but this is all just about vibes and feelings here, idk!! it just makes me nod in a way, like yeah jensen, i get this somehow. the queer experience, one might say

I feel like i could say more, but maybe the clip also speaks for itself. from a cockles pov it’s all just.....sus

[rabbitcrimes]

MDZS Rarepair Fic Rec: Make Me An Offer I Can't Refuse

less common or rare pairings, written so well that they won me over!

🌟 JIANG CHENG/NIE HUAISANG Four Days in Lanling by halotolerant - 21k Summary: Nie Huaisang looks at him. ‘You are confusing me, Clan Leader Jiang, perhaps I misunderstand, but…’

‘You didn’t misunderstand. You don’t misunderstand. You understand all of it.’ For six months Jiang Cheng has been mulling this over, and now with Nie Huaisang in front of him he can’t figure out if he most wants to knock him down or kneel at his feet. What he does is try and breathe. Clench his hands at his sides. ‘And now I am going to ask you to do something for me. You have to do something for me. You have to help Jin Ling.’ Notes: Went into this FULLY skeptical and was completely won over - it understands that sangcheng works only when it is wretched. Delicious!

🌟 LAN WANGJI/XIAO XINGCHEN/SONG LAN One Rogue Spark in My Direction by hansbekhart 5k Summary: He’d thought, in Yueyang, that they’d seen something in each other, something familiar. That maybe they’d recognized something in him. But it’s been many years, and many things have happened since, and he’s guessed wrongly at other people’s hearts before. Lan Wangji looks back down at the table, at his steaming, bitter tea. He’ll beg if he has to. Notes: My summary for this reads "Maybe some of the most successful porn + emotions I’ve ever read / if I ever shut up about this assume I'm dead"

🌟 LAN WANGJI/WEI WUXIAN/JIANG CHENG Out of Nothing by Pip - 27k Summary: You and me, Wei Ying had said. Jiang Cheng is going to take him at his word.

Command says that the first neural link is the one that stands out the most, the one that everyone has to be the most careful of, because a navigator’s thoughts can get tangled up with their pilot’s and become inextricably linked. Entangled. Notes: bitch oh my FUCKING god when is Tor going to publish this like I'm so incredibly serious this is one of the best things I read last year you know this post ??? that is a summary of this fic actually (JC & WWX are childhood sweethearts in this, not related) 🌟 LAN WANGJI/WEI WUXIAN/NIE MINGJUE good friends by plonk - 11k Summary: “I could invite her over for when the game’s done,” Nie Mingjue offers.

 Lan Zhan hums, considering it.

 They do that sometimes. Take omegas down together. Notes: listen to me LISTEN TO ME ok i HEAR the COMPLAINTS I HEAR THEM but LISTEN I am telling you its VERY GOOD i made my best friend read this on the way back home from a funeral that's how good it is. i would never joke about this

XUE YANG/WEI WUXIAN Blood Array by giraffeter - 16k Summary: “I told you already that there’s not enough of Xiao Xingchen’s spiritual cognition left to bring him back,” he tells Xue Yang flatly. “What exactly are you hoping I’ll be able to accomplish?”

“You’re the Yiling Laozu,” Xue Yang replies, his eyes wide and wild. “Death is no obstacle for you. I’ve tried to learn everything I could from your writings, but it’s not enough. Somewhere in here, there’s something I missed. There has to be. You can fix it. You can fix him.”

~

Xue Yang succeeds in abducting Wei Wuxian in Yi City and sets him to the seemingly-impossible task of trying to resurrect Xiao Xingchen. As the two of them work, fight, and sleep side by side, Wei Wuxian can no longer deny the similarities — or the attraction — between them. Notes: the thing about this one is that it is, on some level, soooooooo canon, you know?

LAN WANGJI/SU SHE Disrupt, Corrupt, and Interrupt Me by hansbekhart - 3k Summary: Su She was warned about Lan Wangji, the way that warnings like this are often shared: whispered humid in the dark, with barely stifled laughter. Did you hear? Lan Wangji chooses boys as if he’s hunting. Once a boy is in his sights, he’s like a rabbit caught in a snare. You won’t be able to escape. He’ll visit unspeakable desires on your body and then abandon you for his next prey. Notes: everyone hates when I fucking rec this one and I will nOT stop reccing it because it understands just ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING like is there anything better than having a really horrible sexy time. NO.

LAN WANGJI/WEI WUXIAN/JIANG CHENG the lantern by the door by Lirelyn - 64k Summary: Jin Ling’s needs were constant and repetitive; they ran like a lifeline through Jiang Cheng’s days. He didn’t need to see past the next feeding, the next changing. He didn’t need to persuade himself to get out of bed in the morning; sooner or later Lingling would cry, and he would find he could move after all. In the middle of the night, when neither of them could sleep, he paced up and down the room, holding Lingling to his chest, whispering, “Jiujiu’s here. I won’t leave you alone. I promise.” --- Jiang Cheng knew Lan Zhan had been seeing way more of Wei Ying than he had, but it still burned: Lan Zhan’s easy familiarity with Wei Ying’s household, with his thoughts. I’m the one that grew up with him. He was mine first. Notes: there's literally no way to be normal about this fic like I'm so incredibly serious about this look me in the eye it is the MOST character study ANYONE has EVER done (JC & WWX are not related in this one, although it does explore what the label 'brother' means to them so steer clear if that's a squick for you!) NIE MINGJUE/JIANG CHENG The Beat in your Chest by Pip - 5k Summary: Thursdays are for boxing. Thursdays are for Nie Mingjue. He pretends, sometimes, that they’re peers, even though they’re in different weight classes and always will be. He likes spitting and snarling at Nie Mingjue just to see what he’ll do, to push and shove at the boundaries. Nie Mingjue, it feels like sometimes, has self control the way that ponds have ice in the late fall- delicately and temporarily and easily disturbed.  Summary: it's quick and dirty who am I to argue with that kind of thing NIE MINGJUE/WEI WUXIAN Crowned in Glory (fear no more) by Pip - 19k Summary: It doesn't take an especially strategic mind to recognize that a poorly-maintained weapon is no weapon at all. Nie Mingjue can fix that. Notes: this is just GREAT fun!! I love sunshot era fics and this makes a really compelling case LAN WANGJI & WEN QING (not a relationship) sixteen stitches by curiositykilled 12k Summary: There is some irony, Wen Qing realizes, in being left to live with Lan Wangji alone in a small house with the last living member of her clan. Notes: this is a WIP and not a 'ship' per se bc they're not fucking nor dating in this but I LOVED how OP explores these two characters I love so much, maybe if we all comment how much we love it OP will update 😈

[ballorawan740]

SCP Scenarios: SCP 173 (The Sculpture) x Reader | NEW CHARACTER

SCP Scenarios Masterlist | My Works Masterlist | Main Masterlist | Rules | My Original Post | Request | Socials

(Don't ask about that GIF)

I did change 173 slightly in a way that he can move his limbs and communicate verbally, so Peanut here would be a tiny bit OC

First Encounter

You both met in 173's cell

For some reason, when you blinked, 173 just stood in front of you

Like, this peanut didn't kill you or anything

It was more as if he was interested in you

He somehow found the ability to talk

Even patted your head to your surprise

This also supposed the whole of the facility since they've only observed 173 spanning everyone's neck and teleporting

And they've never seen him move his arms since he's a literal peanut statue that secretes poop (and blood I guess)

Your feelings for him

You began to realise you fell for him after someone had mentioned how often you visited the statue

Definitely would try to hide it, to begin with (Cuz it's odd that y'all be falling for a peanut statue)

But later on, you decide to drop hints about it to your crush, Peanut

He looked as if he was clueless

But he definitely has gotten the hint way before you even realised your feelings for him

Because you make him feel butterflies

If anyone tries to flirt with the statue, you would become furious (Cuz you paid for this statue)

Most likely would tease you at times

His Confession

Probably would plan it out

Which didn't work at all

So 173 would just do it out of the blue

To which you agreed of course (Cuz y'all need some Jesus! At least you weren't like Clef when he- nvm)

Definitely surprised the foundation as well since nobody has ever fallen for this statue before (Aside from Clef)

Some would give you both odd looks while others were more curious about your relationship

Probably would conduct tests between the both of you

Only because they want to see if 173's behaviour would change

Like if someone blinked while standing behind you

Date

Since the foundation doesn't let 173 out of his cell, most of your dates would be in there

173 would be similar to 035 since he's pretty chill and laidback

You both would be laying on the floor and looking up at the ceiling

Probably talking about a lot of BS

Probably would tell you his favourite method of killing (which totally isn't snapping necks)

You both would tell each other about your day and peanut would joke around a lot

Is rather sassy as well so if anyone judges, you can always count on 173 to save you

Most likely by snapping their necks

Or sassing them out to the point of no return

When he gets jealous

It's rare to see 173 jealous since he's quite laid back and doesn't really mind who you're with

If 173 does get jealous he would most likely snap their neck

Or just teleport behind you and just stare at whoever is hitting on you

Or he would bend down to their height (if they're short ofc) which does are them off quite a bit

Would definitely drag you back into his cell to which surprised the researchers

Because they found out that the cameras were working and they heard screaming coming near/from his cell

Peanut can be slightly possessive of you

Especially when he knows somebody is hitting on you on purpose regardless of whether they knew you were taken or not

Most likely would ask you who you are hanging out with and for how long

When there's a containment breach

There's a 50% chance that he caused the breach

Whether he did it or not he would look for you

As he's looking for you he would snap some necks

Even gave 682 a heart attack

More than once actually but we don't talk about that here (cuz that hurts 682's heart)

Could care less about every other SCPs/workers

If you were hurt peanut would hunt down whoever did it to you

Probably would stroll down the facility instead of teleporting

To which you giggled

The look on the researchers' faces when they saw 173 frolic across the hallway and back into his cell was priceless

You were even there to witness it and everyone looked at you like they've just seen a ghost

Yandere!173

Would lock you up in his cell

Probably would tie you up as well

Definitely would torment you by teleporting in front and away from you

Sometimes would blindfold you

Not even the researchers could get you out

They've even asked 131 for some help and it didn't work as effectively as they thought for whatever reason

If you somehow managed to escape your freedom wouldn't last long

173 would manipulate you to the point that you felt that there weren't any way out for you

So in the end, you just stayed in his cell (probably regretting life choices while you're at it)

At least he's nice enough to let you eat proper food served in the foundation (had to make that clear in case y'all didn't get the hint and thought he gave you smth else to eat)

His younger sister

You're both alike and very close indeed

The foundation was shocked at how alike you both were

And you both were inseparable

So every time there's a breach and they see either of you, they know the other is just around the corner

You both would be sassy, sarcastic and funny

The foundation would be entertained by your remarks

Although you may or may not snap necks like peanut, you do display some form of curiosity towards the foundation staff and the SCPs

Like that one time when there was a containment breach and you leaned in rather close to this rookie and he just screamed as he laid on the floor

He did get quite a lecture afterwards but you decided to just tease him whenever you both meet

When his kid says their name for the first time

Would be joyful af

Nobody would hear the end of it

Like imagine the last words you hear is 173 telling you how his kid spoke their name

Like it took them so long to just get the pronunciation right

Tries to get them to swear late on though

Much to your dismay

173 is a cool and laid back type of dad so you wouldn't have to worry too much when you're away

Unless it's about being a good influence then you should (Not that it matters anyway...)

Probably would teleport to whoever/whatever just tp tell them about it

Even bothered 682 to the point that the lizard begged the foundation researchers to remove either of them

When his S/O is angry

Would run/teleport 10000000000000000000 miles away

Especially if you're mad at him

Probably because he broke your favourite cup and didn't tell you about it because he know that your best friend gave it to you as a gift (Don't say y'all don't have friends)

Would try to calm you down after a while though

Which didn't work too well because you still wanted to rip his head off

If it was somebody else who made you mad he would probably be entertained

Unless it affects himself of course

Probably would try to hold you back and get you to calm down

In which you wanted to rip off his head as well which ended so well for peanut

If 173 cant run anywhere he would just hide in the corner and cry

Probably would as the researchers for some help as well

They don't because they don't want to die either

When someone tries to steal you away

When peanut finds out he would hunt down whoever tried to steal you without hesitation

Would snap his neck and everyone else who were involved or knows about it

Takes you back to his cell

Checks if you were hurt even though you were looking at the kidnapper's @ss

Would try to stay by your side at all times even though he knows he can't

Stares at the researchers every time they talk to you

If it was a D-class they would die in an instant

Has a burning hatred for certain kinds of people

When his Pregnant!S/O gets hurt by accident

Cries without a doubt

Would bandage you up without a doubt

Would cheer you up by doing weird dances and impressions

Most likely would tell you off as well but your puppy eyes get to him

So he would just take that back and just baby you

Would kneel down to talk to the unborn child about your bad behaviour

You swore you felt it kick

173 would get all excited and more protective than usual

Wouldn't let anyone near you unless you were going into labourr

Meeting a Fem!Dragon!Hybrid!Reader

Would be quite curious about you

Finds you rather cute because you're so pure, kind and small

Wants to adopt you without a doubt

The researchers would have mixed feelings about you being in the same cell as 173

Peanut was lowkey terrified when you breathed fire

Was somewhat ok with you crying lava and levitating objects for a bit

Somehow managed to get 343 and/or Scarlet King to help you improve your telekinesis

Definitely would play hide and seek with you and some others

They don't get a say otherwise peanut would snap their necks

When he accidentally kills you

It was when some guy unintentionally pushed you which angered 173

Like he teleported to him and his friends

You tried to explain but 173 didn't listen so he proceeds to snap everyone's necks

Trying your best to defend the poor guy, you stepped in front of them which lead to 173 snapping your neck as well

The guy was shocked but managed to run before anything happened

Word got around that 173 had snapped your neck and was now permanently depressed

Like, he stopped snapping everyone's neck for quite sometime

Felt so guilty that he went to 049 to see if he can fix you

But he wasn't able to so he went to SK and God

They were transported to another facility so they weren't able to do much for this statue

Yandere!173 x Evil!Reader

Not as dense as some of the other SCPs but 173 wouldn't have guessed that you worked for another GOI other than the foundation

Since you used your knowledge of 173 to your advantage, 173 would find out rather late

173 found out who you were working with since the late arrival of the Black Queen came by to collect you

173 would try and kidnap you back into his cell at the Foundation but failed miserably

Would try and warn the foundation but they couldn't get you back either

Since you were with the Black Queen, 173 was plotting to get you back without any distraction

The foundation realised how dangerous 173 has become and isolated him far from the other SCPs

At times, the foundation would use your name in order to get 173 to work with them which worked 50% of the times

Trying McDonald's Sprite

Would be confused about this 'Sprite' from McDonald's since he doesn't eat or drink anyways

173 would be rather curious about this beverage and does give it a try

Finds it tasty and you soon realise he has officially become a sweet tooth

Was probably a mistake but if you ever needed to bribe 173, get him some Sprite that's specifically from McDonald's

Like that one time you bought him Sprite from Tesco's, he said it tasted more disgusting and refused to finish the drink

You should probably give him some apple pies, pancakes and some other sweet stuff from McDonald's

Sometimes the foundation would even give him some Sprite whenever the cleaners are cleaning his cell

Would find it amusing that the only way to get him to stop snapping necks are Sprite

When his kids swear

Would 100% be ok with it

173 probably is the one who taught his child to swear

Probably would let them drink alcohol at a young age as well

Maybe around their teenage years, but would let them try a sip if they're under 10

Wouldn't even be mad if his kid swears accidentally

Peanut would most likely encourage it

Doesn't mind if his kid swears at others, but the others would probably complain

When Child!Reader scares him

Wouldn't be hard to scare 173 tbh because you're so small

You'd be running around and giggling while doing whatever

Until there's some silence

173 would probably brush it off at first until he didn't hear a sound for 20 minutes

Does check around his cell to make sure you're still there

Panics because he can't see you

Until he turns around and had a full-on heart attack because you jumped on him

The researchers definitely hear a screech coming from his cell

They all started laughing once they found out

When the reader pole dances/aerial silk dances

Very similar to 035

Would be in awe of you dancing for him

If you were pole dancing he would probably watch you with those eyes~

Most likely end up in you both performing in another activity

If you were aerial silk dancing, 173 would probably be amazed

Would try and dance with you but fails terribly

Because he keeps dropping like dead flies

Most likely broke his back

Sometimes the researchers wonder how it's even possible for 173 to break his "bones"

Having a Pregnant!S/O

Would crack a lot of dad jokes here and there

Follows wherever you go

Rubs your belly whenever he can

Definitely would make a full conversation with the unborn child

Sometimes would read stories that do make you feel sleepy

Does whatever you tell him to do

Cracks some necks if he can't give you what you need

Would cry whenever you have your mood swings

During labour, you grabbed his arm so hard that it almost broke him

When you try to commit suicide

Would teleport to your side at an instant

Wouldn't let you out of his sight ever again

173 would try to cheer you up which may or may not work

Definitely would kill whoever made you feel this way if any

Make you stay in his cell for a while

Maybe even permanently

Wouldnt let anyone touch you

If you had any scars 173 would cry

Peanut would try his best to stop you from feeling that way

Having a Hopelessly Romantic/Easily flustered GN!Reader

Would definitely tease you

173 would find it adorable that you fluster easily and is hopelessly romantic

I'd say he's pretty hopelessly romantic to a certain degree

Will kill if anyone teases you

Because your adorable flushed look is only reserved for him

Although he would tell all the other SCPs about you

049 and 035 get it the hardest but 035 is completely fine with it

049 would rather just stay in his cell than to hear 173 talk about you for 200 hours

Probably knows more about you than peanut himself

173 would boop your snoot whenever you have that cute look

When you're about to be executed - Yandere!173 x D-Class!Reader

173 would snap everyone's neck and kidnap you back to his cell

If anyone ever mentions your name, 173 would instantly snap their necks

And if they ever tried to find you, he would know and would hide you somewhere else

If you ever tried to flee, 173 would teleport to your side and bribe you to stay 'home'

By bribe, I mean he would force you to return by teleporting the both of you

If anyone sees the both of you, 173 would stalk them to no end

Would torture them if they were to tell the foundation about this

Not even the other SCPs could help

When you curl up in their lap

Would find you the cutest thing on Earth

Aside from 999 of course

If he's exhausted from doing nothing, he would probably just rub your head/back

Definitely would tickle you whenever he can

Finds it comforting when you do curl up in his lap

Thinks that you're so cute to the point that he would kill for you

When you kiss his neck

10000000000000% loves it

Would definitely be vocal because he has no shame

Most likely would ask you to do it again

Even if you were in the middle of talking to someone and they hear him

If you were in the mood, you could tease him with neck kisses for hours on end

Probably would ask you to move on to the next activity but you know he loves being teased

Then after that go back to cuddling

173 would scream but the last time that happened the whole foundation went deaf and you gave him the cold shoulder for a while

Definitely cried about that so he tries to restrain himself

But you feel bad so you just carried on

[catboyantichrist]

Hi there! Can you please do relationship headcanons of a gender neutral MC with autism and ADHD dating the seven brothers? I’d love to see more positive writing of a neurodivergent MC and how each of the brothers would love and respect them regardless of their disabilities. Feel free to do this if you want to. If not, that’s ok! Have a great day! 😁👍🌷🌹🌺🌸🌼🌻🌷🌹🌻🌼🌸🌺

This ask literally made me squeal- my neurodivergent ass is gonna have way too much fun with this- LMAO Just a warning, I'm basing this mainly off of my personal experiences (I have ADHD and am possibly getting tested for atypical autism in the future.). Ill try to be as broad as possible but I'd just like to give a heads up.

Just know that if you don't relate to this post or something in it, that doesn't mean you aren't valid! Everyone experiences neurodivergencey differently ^^

☆The Brothers Dating A GN!MC With Autism & ADHD☆

Day-to-day life has always been a struggle. As it feels like no human truly understands why you function the way you do. From bosses, to teachers, to neurotypical friends. Life can feel draining and like a chore when you're living in a world that doesn't function the way you do.

Then your world literally changes. You're in the devildom now. Most people would be terrified that they're living in a house full of demons. But you weren't. You felt like you finally belonged, and eventually you finally found love. Something that people assumed you'd never be able to find. Well jokes on them because your lover treats you with so much respect and kindness, and of course you do the same. This is some of what your lover does that just makes your heart spin:

Lucifer:

-Much to your dismay, before Lucifer started to get to know you he was similar to the humans you've encountered in the past. This doesn't last long though as one of the brothers (most likely Leviathan or Mammon) try to explain. He begins to go a bit easier on you, and also falls for you.

-When you guys start dating, he makes it his goal to help make your day-to-day life easier. Dare I say, he takes pride in it. (Hahahah aren't I funny?)

-He notices how you need a schedule to function, but how much you hate schedules. So with your permission, he makes a loose schedule and follows it WITH you. It simultaneously helps you function more than usual, and it helps Lucifer take breaks when he needs to.

-You two begin to do everything together, as doing stuff together and holding each other accountable is a lot easier than doing it alone

-If someone ever dares to make a rude comment about you Lucifer will um... "take care of them".

-If you ever get overstimulated from the environment you're in, Lucifer keeps his office wide open as a quiet place for you. He keeps a weighted blanket, some headphones and any stim toys you usually use in a corner of his office. If you're not comfortable with them out in the open he'll keep them in a special box somewhere in his office that others can't get into.

Mammon:

-Executive Dysfunction gang! The both of you are relieved that you understand each other and some dumbass wont just go "jUsT gEt Up aNd dO iT!"

-If you guys are struggling with it at different times, you'll try to help each other do small tasks that require very limited effort so that one of you don't get overwhelmed and stressed out. If its a particularly difficult day, you'll just stay there to support the other if they want that.

-If both of you are struggling that day, you do nothing ✨together✨ and just vibe with each others company.

-This man brings you shiny things. They don't even have to be worth anything, they're just shiny. You proceed to do the same. You two now have a designated spot for shiny things you bring each other. If you have an interest in art, you and him will probably end up using the shiny objects as art projects.

-A LOT of impulse shopping. You guys enable each other. Although you quickly realize that you impulse shop for each other. Every second day you end up bringing each other gifts and laughing about it after.

Leviathan:

-Y'know that arm thing two neurodivergent people do when they find out that the other person is neurodivergent? Yeah you two did that. And still continue to do that. It's your greeting now.

-You two spend tons of time either cuddling and talking about your special interests together, or both of you are pacing around Levi's room talking about your special interests together.

-And if you end up having the same special interest?? Oh man the serotonin you two both get just being AROUND each other.

-If you have a hard time around tons of people (in general or just at certain times) he's more than willing to share his room with you and for you two to do online school together. I mean hey, doing school by yourself online is difficult. (Even if it's more comfortable for you both)

-Will he get you a matching pair of noise cancelling headphones if you have auditory sensory issues, or if you just like the pressure on your head. (I don't know if that's a neurodivergent thing but I will wear my headphones just so that I feel some sort of pressure on my head)

-You both communicate what you need, and whether you need alone time or not. Making sure not to trigger any form of rejection sensitivity dysphoria for eachother.

Satan:

-If you were one of those neurodivergent kids that spent all of their time in the library, going through books like wildfire in middle school, get ready for that to be reignited.

-You two will read together all the time, and if you're having a day where you're more fidgety and don't wanna stay still, Satan is more than happy reading to you while you pace around.

-Satan has a natural curiosity, and loves to learn about anything that he doesn't already know about. So if you have a special interest about your own neurodivergency, he is more than happy to listen to you ramble about your life experiences and symptoms.

-Honestly, it doesn't even have to be about neurodivergency, Satan is happy to listen and learn about anything you're interested currently.

-If you aren't big on physical affection from humans or, well... humanoid people, that's perfectly fine! That's what animals are for! He'll take you to a cat cafe and will enjoy spending time with the animals with you.

-Similar to Lucifer, if anyone makes a comment about the way you act, they wont live to see another day. Unlike Lucifer, the demons who say these comments don't even finish their sentence. They're dead before MC blinks.

Asmodeus:

-When Asmodeus finds out that you have sensory issues that affect what you wear, he decides to hand-make clothes with fabrics of your choice. He has no issue with you prioritizing comfort over appearance, but if you want to put effort into your appearance and texture is stopping you, he's more than happy to design some stuff for you.

-Asmodeus has always been a touchy person, but if you aren't comfortable with that he'd never force you to cuddle. If you are interested in physical affection one of his favourite things to do is put makeup on your face, or just touch your face.

-Speaking of which, if you ever impulsively cut your hair whether it be from breakdown, normal impulsivity, or sensory issues with your hair being longer. He'll always help you cut your hair. He wants to make sure that once you cut it, you wont regret it the next day.

-Depending on whether you like going outside or not (or if its depending on the day) he's more than happy to take you to the fall! He'll make sure you're always comfortable and if you need the attention diverted from you if you need a break!

-If you don't like going outside, Asmo will dedicate certain nights for just you two to hang out. He can always energy match you. Hyperactive? Oh he's right there with you bouncing of the walls. Calmer? He doesn't mind just vibing with you. Comfort? Oh you've come to the right guy.

-Asmodeus is very emotionally intelligent, it may have originally been for the wrong purposes (charming others) but now he can use it to help you work through issues with socializing with others, past traumas from other people, he'll always do his best to support you as long as you'd do the same for him!

Beelzebub:

-Beel is always well meaning, but whether you're neurodivergent or neurotypical, communication is key with him. So, if you're unintentionally blunt to neurotypical people, that's exactly what Beel needs and wants. He knows you don't mean it out of harm, you're just trying to state your boundaries.

-Do you need a weighted blanket? This man will become the weighted blanket. He wants to make sure you're comfortable at all times!

-If you have trouble eating, Beel is here to help. If you take meds for ADHD and they make you lose your appetite, or just general forgetfulness, he'll remind you to have at least some sort of small snack throughout the day. Nothing too filling, just enough so that you aren't running on zero food throughout the day.

-All the go-to and comfort foods that you had in the human world? Beel would make it his MISSION to get them, and TONS of it too. It's the only food in the house he wont eat because he knows how important it is to you. He will tear up a bit if you offer to share though.

-If you're in a hyperactive mood, or anxious, Beel will convince you to do some light exercise with him to help calm you down

Belphegor:

-If you have trouble sleeping, Belphie will definitely try and help. Ranging from cuddling, aroma therapy, getting Beel to do exercise with you. To more magical means (if you're comfortable with it) like sleeping powder.

-If you just have a different internal clock than the average person, that's fine too! It may be permanent but that's okay- Belphie will sleep at any time with you.

-Isn't generally a social person so if you're not that big of a fan of social interaction you don't have to worry. Belphie would even do online school with you!

-He would let you use his pillows and blankets to stim if that's something you're interested in. He'd also listen to you ramble about your interests while doing so! As long as you don't mind him talking about the stars afterwards.

-Definitely the most blunt out of his brothers, so communication wouldn't be an issue between you two. If his bluntness is a bit too harsh for you he'll try to tone it down a bit, but it would probably just end up as him trying to explain the reasoning behind the bluntness and how it's not out of harm.

[letarasstuff]

Where do you go?

(A/N): This is requested by an anon and based on this post.

Summary: How does Hotch’s daughter, who everyone goes to with their own problems, cope with her mother’s death two years later?

Warnings: Angst. Grief. Dealing with a loved one’s death

Wordcount: 2.2k

✨Masterlist✨ _____________________________

“Hey (Y/N), I really need your help with Tim. Do you have a minute for me?” (Y/N) turns around to see a boy from her science class. It’s not like she knows him that much, they occasionally team up for small projects, there is nothing more behind that.

“Uh of course. I just had my last class, so I got time for you.” She smiles and lets him, Vincent is his name she thinks, rant to her about how his boyfriend doesn’t understand his needs.

This is nothing out of the ordinary for her, to be asked for advice. She simply is a good listener and gives good tips, the best even according to people close to the teenager. The problem is her limited knowledge on relationships. “Coaches don’t play”, Hotch tells her. And he intends on keeping it that way.

“That does really suck. Did you try to talk to him about it?” (Y/N) asks the boy in front of her. Suddenly he bursts into tears, describing how he only sees breaking up as a solution. She awkwardly pats his back and says encouraging words to him. That he will make the right decision, that he shouldn’t rush it and that he has to take his time.

After Vincent, or is it Gordon, calms down he looks up at the girl. “Thank you for listening. You were a great help, (Y/N).” He hugs her and leaves.

As she looks over the parking lot she spots her father’s car. Excitedly (Y/N) walks over and gets onto the passenger seat. “Hey, I didn’t know you pick me up today”, she greets him.

“We finished the case early and I was on the way home and thought giving you a lift wouldn’t hurt. Who was that boy? Is there something I should know?” Hotch looks at her from the side. But his daughter shakes her head. “Don’t worry, he is gay. He just needed a shoulder to cry on about his ruined relationship.”

“You do know you are not the school’s therapist, don’t you? At this point your classmates should pay you.” He tries to joke about it, but as a father he is worried. Since Haley died, (Y/N) took it upon her to make sure everybody is happy, no matter at what costs.

“I know, Dad. I’m fine and Alex feels better.”

A few days later (Y/N) sits in JJ’s living room, watching the mother go from one place to the next. “Food is in the fridge, so help yourself. Henry’s bedtime is in half an hour, please make sure he goes to sleep by then. He should be easy to put down, Will made sure to tire him out earlier. All important numbers are on the fridge. Feel free to watch anything on the TV.”

The teenager volunteered to babysit Henry, giving his parents a child free evening. “Thank you, JJ. We will rock this, don’t we?” She looks down to the boy on her lap, who nods his head.

“Good. Behave for (Y/N), ok?” The mother gives her son a kiss on the head. After Will’s goodbye the couple is gone.

“Ok, how about we get real comfy on your bed and I read you a story?” Henry nods again. He takes (Y/N) by her hand to his room. As suggested they lay down on his bed.

“Which one do you want me to read to you?” But the boy looks unsure all of a sudden. “Can we just talk?” Surprised the teenager nods. “Whatever you like, champ.”

“Uh okay, do you know Mommy is a bit… much? She is like there and the next second she is here and then she isn’t here for days. I- this is sooo annoying”, Henry rants to her. He is only three, so it is kept rather simple.

“Oh man, she must be a handful, champ. But you have to keep in mind that she really loves you and in the end this is the only thing that matters. Do you love her, too?” It hurts her to talk about a mother’s love, since her own passed away over two years ago. (Y/N) still misses her. She is sure it will never go away.

“Of course I love her.” Sleepily Henry cuddles closer to (Y/N), holding his plush toy near him. After that, he falls asleep safe and sound. The teenager waits for a bit, watching him scrunching up his nose every few minutes.

The next day at the BAU a knock is heard on the Unit Chief’s door. “Come in!”

“Hey Dad, I thought a little visit wont hurt”, the daughter enters the room. Automatically a smile appears on Hotch’s face. “Also, I thought a little help from Spencer wont hurt, too”, she adds with a laugh. “Last time I checked he was in Garcia’s lair. You might have a shot finding him there”, he tips her off.

“Thank you Dad, you are the best!” Not long after this she steps into the Technical Analyst’s office and is immediately greeted by the preppy woman being anything but preppy.

“What in heaven’s name do they think I am, do you know it (Y/N)? They want me to work faster and more efficiently and expect me to be all sunshine and rainbows while looking at the most gruesome pictures ever taken on a daily basis! Un-be-lie-va-ble!” The blonde walks back and forth, gesticulating wildly.

The teenager takes her hands in an attempt to calm her down. “Sit down and tell me from the beginning what you are talking about.” This ends in Penelope raging about some superiors for an hour. When she finally calms down, it is like she wakes up. “Oh my, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to load all that up on you. You don’t need that in addition to-” She suddenly cuts herself off.

“I’m fine, really. It’ll be like any other day.” The smile the girl struggles to put on looks pained. “My sweet sweet summer child, the second anniversary of your mother’s death is not like any other day. You are still allowed to grief, you know that, right?” Penelope hugs (Y/N), cradling her close to her chest.

“I know, Penny. Thank you for reminding me. But I have to go, I need Spencer’s help with my chemistry assignment. You know, gotta keep those grades up.” With that she makes a beeline for the bullpen, leaving a stunned Technical Analyst by herself.

Since Foyet Hotch worries about his daughter. He learned many things about her coping mechanisms in the last two years: She tries to do it on her own.

In times like this the similarity between him and (Y/N) frustrates him. Aaron also tends to deal with his emotions alone, in the safe space of his own four walls. With all of his qualifications he knows it’s not healthy and he slowly learns to let his feelings loose around people he trusts, typically his team.

The difference between (Y/N) and Hotch is that he knows when he reaches his breaking point and she doesn’t about hers. So in a situation like right now being a profiler comes in handy with the job as a father.

It’s the day. The second anniversary of a mother’s death.

Hotch already planned the whole day for his two kids. At first he wakes both of them up, a luxus he seldom is able to indulge. But for today he has called into work saying he won't be coming any time before ten.

The mood around the house is suffocating. Even the little boy notices the heaviness of the day and its meaning.

“Are you ready, (Y/N)? I’m gonna drop you and Jack off at school!” Aaron shouts standing at the foot of the stairs. “I’m coming!” The answer is heard faintly.

Not long after this the Hotchner Household is on their way to the youngest’s elementary school. “Behave and remember: If you don’t feel fine it’s okay. Just tell your teachers and they will call me and I will get you, do you understand?” The father looks at his son with a certain seriousness. “Understood”, the blonde boy confirms and gives him a hug.

When he is back onto the driver’s seat, (Y/N) speaks up. “I don’t feel good about letting him to school today. What if he suddenly gets overwhelmed? I don’t think his teachers are able to calm him down.” Hotch gives his daughter a glance from the side. Jack never showed any signs of what she just described.

“They know to call me. I also told him it's all right to let them call me. He is in good hands.” It’s quiet for the next few minutes. “Dad, this is not the way to school”, the teenager tries to alert her father.

“I know. You won’t go today. I called you in sick when you were in the bathroom. I got the day planned, be ready to be surprised.”

The first thing they do is having breakfast in a little niché café. They once visited it regularly with Haley, way long before Jack was born. The two of them sit down at a booth in the corner.

“What can I get you two sweeties?” A waitress asks, her notebook ready in her hands. While the father orders their usuals, (Y/N) lets her eyes wander. So many memories at once crash onto her.

“Do you remember this one waiter, who always got you a hot cup of chocolate for free?” Aaron says after noticing her sad look. The girl begins to smile through the tears forming in her eyes. “Of course. Mom always got nearly a heart attack seeing me down it like it’s juice. I-” Her voice breaks. The tears fall down and make their way over her cheeks.

“It’s ok, you don’t have to say anything. I’m here. For anything you want or need me. Because nobody expects you to be alright, especially on this day.” He takes her hand and looks her in the eyes. (Y/N) nods, leaning against her father’s shoulder. He puts an arm on her, keeping her closer.

“I know. It’s just- It still hurts. So so badly. I feel like she still is here, but that’s just not true and that hurts me more.” Silently Hotch motions the waitress to make the order to go, while rubbing his child’s arm. Because that’s what she still is, a child.

A child that went through much, especially for her age. When (Y/N) calms down a little, they make their way back to the car.

“I thought we are going to the BAU to distract you for a while. But I can call the team and tell them we are going to do a SPA day at home or something. What do you want?”

“Can we go to them? And maybe leave earlier to do face masks at home before picking Jack up?” There is no way the father can say no to her puppy dog eyes. “Of course, Honey. Anything you want.”

As soon as the doors of the elevator open to floor six of the FBI building in Quantico, Penelope Garcia embraces (Y/N) in a big bear hug. “My sweet sweet summer child. You are so strong, I admire you. We are so happy to have you here” she whispers into the teenager's ear. “Thank you, Penny. Thank you so much.”

Over the course of the next few hours (Y/N) visits everyone’s desk. At first she goes into the lair, where mountains of cookies wait for her. Then she sits at Spencer’s desk, listening to cute facts about sloths. But Emily is quick to steal her from the genius, bribing the girl with new pictures of Sergio. Derek takes the teen from there, pushing her through the office on a desk chair with wheels. Her father is able to hear her laughs in his office, which puts a small smile on his face.

After that (Y/N) goes to JJ, who has a drawn picture from Henry for her. “Will had to write ‘best babysitter ever’ for him”, the blonde explains, pointing at the picture. The girl smiles. “Woah, I think you got a little Picasso at home. Tell him I love it.”

Her last stop is Rossi’s office. The older man looks at her with a fond smile. “Do you know that I see so much of your father and mother in you?” Confused, she glances at him.

“You are as stoic as Aaron. You are determined. But you are also caring and loving, like Haley. You are a perfect combination of both of them. Just keep that in your mind.”

As mysterious as this seems, it somehow makes (Y/N) happy. Happy to know a part of her mother is always with her.

Soon the little family departes for their home. Not long after they bid their goodbyes, Penelope receives a picture of the Unit Chief and the teenager with pink glitter masks. The father is willing to do anything to make her smile, even when this means he gets a basket of various masks the next day for teasingly reasons.

[shirophantomvox]

Chrollo, Hisoka, and Illumi Headcanons

Chrollo, Hisoka, Illumi, and Leorio headcanons

Hello, anon! I am so sorry for taking longer than usual to respond to this post. I have been so busy with A LOT lately but I have time now! I don’t know if you want N/SFW, romantic or non so I’ll go based on what comes to mind! I know many Tumblr users have made these types of assumptions for them a lot but I wanted to join in. I started writing this last night so forgive me if there are any unbearable grammar errors. I hope you like it anon, I tried my best. I have to work on my headcanons for them because I try to keep them in character. Since we don’t have much background info on ⅔, I have to keep it as realistic as possible. FYI N/SFW content is mentioned.

Discord for Voltron and HxH fans

Let’s start with Chrollo.

Chrollo (SFW)

I’ve seen on here that a lot of you headcanon Chrollo to be an understanding man when it comes to feelings for his significant other. Given his soft voice and calm demeanor, I’m sure that is somewhat true.

It seems like Chrollo isn’t on board with over-the-top PDA meaning he would agree to hand-holding and his arm around you but nothing more. He saves the...other stuff for when you two are alone. Because of Chrollo’s past, it seems like he wouldn’t want to be seen in public that much because that can cause him to get caught by the authorities.

He takes your safety very seriously. You understand that when he is with the Phantom Troupe that you are not to interrupt until the business is over. He doesn’t allow you to get involved with the missions because of how dangerous they can be (example: the auction). He knows you can handle it, he prefers for you not to be involved. Feelings and work can make things difficult.

Although Chrollo hides in the shadows, I imagine he lives in a penthouse with expensive furniture, white and black color pattern, and large windows that have an astonishing view of Yorknew.

After you both have worked long and hard, you open the door just to see the lights dimmed so dark that it matches the night atmosphere. There are rose petals leading to the bathroom where a bubble bath is waiting. As you enter the bathroom, your boyfriend is waiting there, submerged in bubbles sticking his arms out. Candles light up the tiny room casting a romantic shadow from your body. You grab his hand and gently sit in the tub. The warm water felt amazing; it helped your aching muscles (from exercising) feel better. Chrollo gently grabbed your arm and pulled you into a warm, loving embrace. He wrapped his toned arms around your body and rested his chin on your shoulder. He didn’t say a word but instead breathed heavily, kissed your shoulder, and leaned back against the wall. On days like this, he didn’t say much but his actions spoke louder than words.

Chrollo NSFW

I think Chrollo is a passionate lover. This assumption comes from his calm demeanor. He seems to be incredibly patient so if you aren’t positioning yourself the right way or something, he’ll work with you to make sure you get it and you are comfortable.

He is touchy. That means during the nitty-gritty, he likes to touch your face, chin, lips, and your torso as a way to show more affection.

When he is in the mood, he moves slowly then very fast. He cannot resist the urges and feelings he has for you.

He loves to do this while the drapes are open although you have expressed that you like your privacy. It’s ironic. He doesn’t like extreme PDA but is ok with sleeping with you while the lights from the city shine near your penthouse window. Ah, guys are confusing.

After the climax, he lays flat on the bed and pulls you close. He leaves about an inch in between because heat is still radiating off your bodies and it’s summertime.

Hisoka (SFW) If his significant other was shy.

People have mixed feelings about Hisoka, feelings, and whether or not if he is gentle or not. I don’t think that Hisoka is gentle but begins to lay off the harsh jokes or pranks as he sees that you both have fought before and you’re not as weak as he thought.

Unlike Chrollo, he is all for PDA. This ranges from hand holding to playful kisses to passionate kisses. When I saw Hisoka for the first time, I immediately thought he was a fuck boy. A fuck boy is a boy that is only interested in sleeping with someone and doesn’t intend on pursuing a relationship.

He’d take the pleasure of appreciating your presence as well as testing your patience. If you are shy and are easily flustered, he will change that. He’ll do things like kissing you, calling you affectionate names, or anything that will cause you to respond. You hit him jokingly. Still not getting the message, he continues and you hit him harder. This is where he releases a medium moan which causes everyone to look in your direction. You freeze; face flushed and he’s laughing his ass off.

“What’s the matter,” he asks, covering his mouth. “You look flushed~♥.”

“You’re doing too much. Stop playing around! People are staring~💯.” You cover the side of your face. True enough you were a little mortified but in a good way. You knew he did this because he liked you but sometimes he played too much.

This is when he pulls you closer to his face, your ear next to his mouth, and whispers something in your ear that sent chills down your spine that made you blush more than before. He nearly puckered his lips as he spoke. He took his index finger and thumb to caress your cheek.

“Raising your voice at me? That simply won’t do. Aren’t you aware of the consequences~♥?”

You knew better than to not say anything because he would cup your cheeks and pull you into a deep kiss, and wouldn’t let go until he was sure that everyone was looking.

Both of you enjoy red, white, and rose wine. To him, wine equals classiness and sophistication. After fighting each other for hours (which he considers training for you and exercise for him) drinking wine and watching Lifetime (television for idiots) is a great way to end the night.

NSFW

As stated above, I originally thought that Hisoka was a fuck boy, so I am going to roll with that thought. This man has the potential of being rough and if he is too rough this is the time where you can speak up and say so. He’ll listen to you. Similar to Chrollo, he can be very romantic if he wants to. The rose petals gimmick was played out.

Instead, he hides in the darkest part of the living room waiting for you.

You turn on the lights and immediately head to the kitchen to drink a bottle of ice-cold water. Summer nights in Yorknew were hot and humid, almost unbearable. It felt like you were being suffocated. Becoming impatient, Hisoka clears his throat loudly causing you to nearly jump out of your skin; choking on the water you were drinking. He released a sexy chuckle. When you turned around, there stood your chiseled buff boyfriend bare with a ribbon tied in various directions around his body. Your birthday was two days ago and he was your gift. Although you have seen him like this before, for some reason you were too flustered to make a move. He already knew that you were tired from work, so he carried you in his arms to the Exercise Room and laid you gently on the floor. You smiled as a rush or passion took over your body resulting in you tearing off the ribbon tightly wrapped around his body. Since this was your birthday gift, he made it a night you’d remember forever! Surprisingly, no roughhousing, just soft and gentle. This proves that Hisoka has the capability of being humane. His strokes were to your liking and the gazes that you both exchanged were mind-blowing. Why couldn’t he be this way all the time? After it all, you fell asleep at her quickly. You were on the floor but now on top of your king-sized bed, with the message control on high. He stayed awake, watching TV, and thought about how he was going to pick a fight with you at the crack of dawn.

Hisoka’s ability to flirt and send the intended person swooning is a talent of itself. Lots of people do not possess this talent. Sometimes it's intentional and sometimes it's not. He speaks softly and smoothly, are he has to do is ask and it shall be done.

Illumi SFW

Illumi gives the impression that he is a “quiet” freak. This means that true enough he is focused on his job but if the moment comes along he will give in. He isn’t into PDA at all and if he does feel like showing some affection it will be done in private. Even though he appears to be a zombie, laying on or even cuddling with his significant other will help him relax for once. Imagine having to complete many missions in a day, exhausted, and have a wonderful person waiting to act as a human pillow for your weary head. Even Illumi can’t resist that.

If he likes you and plans to marry you, he will make that known to everyone to avoid confusion. Illumi represents the stereotypical shy boy; he is anti-social, prefers to only be around people he knows and trusts, and carries out the duties of his job.

After everything has been completed for the day, he wouldn’t mind ( and secretly begs) for silent cuddles with his significant other and to just fall asleep. At this point, you are used to it so this is all you want and you are satisfied. When he does talk, it’s usually about something he found out from work that he knows should be kept quiet but he tells you anyway. Late nights are the time of day where Illumi vents for a few hours. The details of these vent sessions could range anywhere from “I wish you were there to see it” to “No, it would be too much”. As quiet and reserve as he is, his love is shown in a unique way that you have grown accustomed to.

NSFW

When the urge slaps him across the face like a sack of rocks, he cannot resist. Usually, he fights off the urge by exercising (mainly because you are out of the house or sleep) but this time he couldn’t shake it.

Before he gets started with anything, he styles his long hair in the shape of a bun so it doesn’t get in the way of action.

Although he is portrayed to be an emotionless zombie, he has some feeling deep inside him that he unleashes just for you. This is shown by gentle moist kisses being placed along your neck and once he reaches your shoulder that is when you wake up. Halfway through your sleepy eyes, you see a man with a devilish smile painted across his face. Who is this man? This couldn’t be your boyfriend. No way, no how.

Once he sees your sleepy smile, he just releases so many kisses that you throw the blanket off and he pulls you in closer.

Illumi will allow you both to switch the roles meaning he is in charge one time and you are on another day. Since you were still asleep, he decided to take on the role. He is surprisingly gentle in the beginning but as soon as it takes off, your ride him like a donkey. It ironic; he releases more noises than you! You have to remind him that noise travels! Great, you’re doing your job well! While it is important to take your job seriously, you need to have time to release that stress.

He uses his large eyes to stare into yours; you always found yourself lost in his gaze.

After it all, you lay back down waiting for your boyfriend to return from the kitchen. Illumi craves food like crazy after a good session. What’s better than donuts at 3 AM? COMFORT FOOD!!

These urges also come when you two are training together. Several times he’s had to guide you from behind on how to aim his needles. This time you noticed the packing of his pants which surprised you.

“Any questions,” he asked in a monotone voice.

“Yes. Why did you wear jogging pants? You’re giving yourself away.”

It was at this moment, he knew he fucked up. But let’s be honest, ok? He is standing behind the most beautiful person in the world, nostrils full of perfume, hair tied up, and has his left hand placed loosely on your thigh?! What was he thinking by wearing jogging pants when he was with you? He acted as if he didn’t know what you were talking about.

“You really don’t know?”

You kicked your backside out against him causing him to fall to the ground.

“Wow! Your legs are like jelly!”

“Why tease me,” He asked breaking out a small smile.

“You’re the one denying it.”

“Just get to it. I can’t wait any longer or else I’ll explode.”

The quiet ones are always the freakiest.

[cotccotc]

SKZ + a ftm s/o !!

 ◌ ftm (female-to-male) refers to a transgender person who was assigned female at birth, but identifies as male. these people are awesome, lovely, brave, & valid !! (yes that’s part of the official definition !!!! look it up <3)

part of my eight as fate event !! ( requested by @lixsmullet​ ♡ )

genre/s: fluff, skz x ftm reader

warning/s: mentions of dysphoria, mentions of periods, one very brief implication of transphobia (NOT IN REFERENCE TO THE MEMBERS DW), use of various pet names, swearing, my dumb formatting and commentary uwu

wc: ~1.5k

a/n: i hope i did this req justice !!! i made sure to do a lot of research on topics that might come up in this situation so i hope everything is accurate, but also inclusive for multiple types of people within the ftm umbrella. the descriptions might not be too deep but pls know they were written with a lot of care. OH ALSO i included potential pet names they might use !! i really really hope y’all enjoy this :) lmk what u think !!

◌ CHAN

chan’s known for putting other people’s needs before his own, and this is no exception.

he’d be super giving !!! would buy you “world’s best boyfriend” mugs and shit !!! it’s cringe but you love him so it’s fine !!!

more on top of your doctors appointments or meds than you are tbh

boy oh boy… if you take/decide to start taking testosterone……

LOOK OUT HERE COMES THE T POLICE KJDF

he just wants to do everything he can to help you !!!!! whether it means literally helping you stay on top of things and being your at-home (emotional) therapist, or giving you space.

i feel like he’s very good at detecting how a person feels based on their face or body language, so he’d always be on the lookout in case you might be feeling off or dysphoric.

and, as much as it might pain him, he’d give you as much time/space as you need. once again, he has your best interest in mind 24/7 !!! he just loves you so much, you know? 🥺

potential pet names (as long as you’re ok with them !! that goes for each member.): babyboy (we saw this one coming), foxy/sexy (mostly sarcastic but also… True), sunshine

◌ MINHO

a thing that i personally love to imagine: minho introducing you to people as his boyfriend

if anybody ever gives either of you a questioning look afterward (either intentionally or not) he wouldn’t waver at all !!! he’d just stand there and keep smiling. because you’re his boyfriend, duh

constantly reminds you how strong you are !! how super tough and cool you are !!! because it’s true !!!!!!!

i feel like i always make him sound like the ceo of Boyfriend Bootcamp in my reactions but i MEAN???

for example, if you’re ever feeling down (for whatever reason. whether it applies to you being trans or not) he’d be like “MAN UP !!! YOU’RE A WARRIOR !!!! ……. a cute one <3333 bUT A STRONG ONE !!!!!!”

in general, i definitely see him as the type of person who’ll just grab your hand or hold you a little closer in situations where he thinks you might feel uncomfortable, and even if he doesn’t directly acknowledge it, you know there’s a lot of love and care behind the gesture.

also… you’re sad? here, hold a cat.

potential pet names: stud (as a joke.. but it stuck), anything that starts with “my” (like my boy, my baby, my love, etc.)

◌ CHANGBIN

ok listen

i’m not calling changbin lazy

HOWEVER

he will most definitely try and make you do “manly” things for him when he doesn’t feel like it- SJDJJ

imagine his raspy, tough, yet adorably whiny voice being all:

“BAAAABE…. BABYYYYYY….. come lift this fOR MEEEEEEEE”

ESPECIALLYYYY if you’re taller than him oh my Lord

BUT HE’D DENY IT AT ALL COSTS !!!

changbin, pointing to an object on a tall shelf: “BABE can you get this for me? you’re so strong you can do it <3333”

you: “short ass-”

changbin: “hEY”

ALSO if you menstruate, i personally believe that he would be very comforting to have around during that time !!!!! just chillin on the couch !!!!!! vibin !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

your very own personal heating pad <33 jksjfd

potential pet names: babe, bunny, hot stuff (sometimes used for moments of sarcasm !!! there are lots of those..)

◌ HYUNJIN

he’s very sweet and loving with you, which never changes despite anything you might be going through. like ,,,ever.

i can see him being especially sweet and helpful for someone who doesn’t want to or can’t surgically transition !!!!

would do everything he could to emphasize the fact that you’re his favorite boy !!!!

whether it’s through activities, pet names, playful jokes, etc., he always wants to remind you how manly and lovely you are !! lolll

i present to you a thought that just popped up in my head and Will Not Leave:

you might normally be the little spoon, but if you ever feel a bit off about your body or just don’t want to be held, THIS BOY WILL GET CURLED UP IN A LITTLE SPOON POSITION FOR YOU !! SO VERY FAST !!!

(is it also an excuse for him to be the little spoon? yeah maybe it is-)

potential pet names: hubby (regardless of whether or not you’re married sjdsdf), prince, things that start with “my”

◌ JISUNG

asks lots of questions !!!!!!! whenever he’s not sure how to proceed with something or has any general questions about being trans or how to support you, he’ll be completely transparent with you about it.

even though it makes him a lil embarrassed 🥺🥺

will overuse the terms “dude” and “bro” just to make you laugh… but you both know there’s a hidden underlayer of validation there

loves cheering you up when you’re not feeling your best !!!

also ,,,,,,Youtube Research Enthusiast

“hey y/n check this out! let’s try it :D” and it’s a two minute video about how to naturally lower your voice

and you go along with it because a.) he’s cute for suggesting it, b.) it could actually be useful, and c.) he’ll look cute stretching his neck for a few minutes and it would be a valuable use of your time to watch him do it <3 jsjdfh

oh also !!!! we know he’s just Like This anyways, but he will indeed take every chance he gets to kiss random parts of your body like your hands, shoulders, the tip of your nose, and anything else you’re comfy with :) he just likes 2 smooch, what can i say?

potential pet names: anything silly !! bubba, baby/babycakes, good lookin’, etc.

◌ FELIX

this is somewhat similar to what i’d suggested in my nonbinary coming out reaction, but i feel like he’d take a lot of care to make you feel more confident in yourself !!!

especially when it comes to your appearance !!!!! if you ever decide to try out a new hairstyle, different clothing, etc., he’d HYPE YOU UPPPPP omg

you: *exists*

felix: *silly smirk* “my handsome boy.. hehe” 🥺

bakes for u !!!!!!! will come over asap with freshly baked cookies if he even senses you might not be feeling your best !!!!!!!!!!!!!

we all know he’s a real cuddlebug, but since you’ve explained dysphoria to him (to the best of your ability), it’s very important to him that he doesn’t overstep with the physical affection

he might also suggest you use a code word or gesture to signify if it’s ok for him to get all close and cuddly with you !! he knows you have your off days, and the last thing he wants to do is emphasize your insecurities.

he loves you more than anything, and he just wants to see you smile :)

potential pet names: handsome, love, sweets (bc ya know,,, brownie boy things <3)

◌ SEUNGMIN

would regularly spend hours and hours doing research on trans rights, different forms of transitioning, other people’s perspectives (both in his position and yours), etc

honestly i wouldn’t be surprised if he posted some questions on a website like reddit or quora or something from time to time SJDK (but eventually he’d be much more comfortable asking you directly, especially since he knows not every person is the same)

he really just wants to make sure he understands how you feel to the best of his ability in order to best care for you !!!

VERY VERY diligent if he has to adjust to new pronouns. would practice that shit like it’s his JOB.

i think he’d just be very scared of screwing something up, which you might have to console him about from time to time.

you know he’s trying his best to a.) not make this about himself and b.) do everything in his power to support you

sorta similarly to changbin, i think he’d be nice to have around if you’re ever on your period !! overall, this boy would do his RESEARCH

potential pet names: baby, mister (for some playful sarcasm), bear (or baby bear, honey bear, etc.)

◌ JEONGIN

if you’re ever feeling dysphoric, depressed, anxious, or generally not the best, he will do WHATEVER IT TAKES to cheer you up.

you: :(

jeongin: “ok fine you have permission to poke my cheeks all day”

you: :D

jeongin: :D

is also very similar to changbin !!!!! he’ll very dramatically give up on a task that requires even the slightest bit of manliness just so you can do it for him…. because he’s laz- i mean thoughtful <33

ok picture something with me besties (and this is quite random so bear with me):

he buys you cologne. cute !! very sweet of him yes <3 …...but the Backstory-

he had No idea what kind to get, so he went to the store and tried on like 10 different kinds until he realized he could just swatch them on a piece of paper so now he’s covered in cologne and he buys the one he thought was his favorite but he comes home to realize it was the WRONG ONE so he has to go back to the store and test them all again until he finds the one

..all just so he could surprise you & make you feel more masculine :’)

anyways LONG STORY SHORT: innie best boy :D

potential pet names: bun (in reference to bread, of course. you must match.), handsome, sexy (BUT ONLY IF YOU SAY IT RIGHT BACK !!!!!! sexy loaf boyfriends aw <3)

tags: @stayndays, @hanniiesuckle17, @leggomylino, @freckledberries, @kisskissbanggang, @mr-jisung-main, @childofthecosmos, @kpopscape, @skzwriternet, @hyunsins, @sleepylixie, @sunshine-skz, @vera-liscious, @thatrandomoneinthecorner, @cyberskz​, @seungminsaidsta, @somethingrandomworld, @ethan806 ( join my tag list !! )

©️ cotccotc 2021 ~ all rights reserved. do not repost my work on tumblr or other platforms.

[hintofelation99]

Hi! I love your posts and want to ask your opinion on something. Who do you think in the batfam has the most and the least common sense of a normal person? If you can, can you also list how they are arranged? Thank you!

Ooohhh, this is a fun one! In my mind all bats lack common sense. Like obviously they're hella smart, after all they are a family of detectives, they just aren't very bright.

Here's a quick rundown (least to most): Tim and Dick tie for first place, both lack common sense in just in completely different ways. Then Damian (mostly cause of the whole 'being raised by league of assassins' thing), Bruce, Cass (controversial ik), Steph, Jason, Duke, Babs, and last on the list is obvs Alfred. (Kate is probs between Cass and Steph, but I've only really seen her in the DCAMU and need to get to know her better).

And Ima add a 'keep reading' cause this is gonna get long.

Tim:

Tim is one of the smartest in the family. He deduced Batman's identity as a child, majorly fucked up the League of Assassins, and has been honored (I say this v sarcastically just btw) with Ra's creepy obsession. He's smart, plain and simple. However, when it comes to just day to day survival and being loved, goddamn that boy is dumb.

He regularly mixes energy drinks and coffee. Sometimes he even mixes energy drinks, alcohol, and coffee.

In his mind warnings are optional. "Tim, did you just sniff that drano?" "Yeah, why?" "IT LITERALLY SAYS DO NOT SMELL" "Oops"

He regularly tests shit on himself. "Why is Tim on the floor?" "He mixed joker venom and fear gas to see what would happen" "HE WHAT"

Also if you try to compliment him or tell him you love him he will find a way to misunderstand. "Tim, I love you and you are an amazing son." "I don't know who this Tim is but he sounds great" "It- it's you, literally you. Timothy Jackson Drake." "I'm a bit confused, I didn't know you knew two Timothy Jackson Drakes. You should really introduce us."

Dick:

Dick in many ways is a total himbo. He's a complete sweetheart, super supportive, and very ditzy. His ditzy-ness directly correlates to how relaxed he is. Chilling in the manor? Peak himbo. A mission in space? Absolute genius and amazing leader. Just took down a bunch of thugs? Slowly reverting into dopey boi. He always has the ability to be super analytical, smart, and big brain, but he likes being whimsical and even airheaded. And that's not a bad thing, it's just him taking mental breaks, being lighthearted.

"YOU PUT DIESEL IN YOUR CAR?" "...Yeah, in my defense the nozzles look basically the same" "They're different colors?! Also the diesel nozzle doesn't even fit into your gas tank, how did you get it in?" "I'm a good pourer."

He always responds to the word dick and it always confuses him. "God Ra's is such a dick!" "What?" "Ra's is a dick" "I'm not Ra's!" "Wha- no! I mean penis dick!" "Ohhhh, yeah he is a penis dick"

Once Dick is safe he reverts into himbo pretty quickly, even after stressful situations. "Hey Wally?" "Yes babe?" "I forgot how to change my lock screen again" "Dick, you just hacked into an alien spaceship not even an hour ago??" "What's that have to do with anything?"

Damian:

Damian lacks common sense from growing up with the League of Assassins. He's an amazing warrior and super analytical but casual human interaction alludes him. He is getting better though, so eventually he'll be lower on the list than Steph. But for now he's a senseless bby.

The first time someone tried to give him high five he assumed it was an attack and flipped them. Same with a fist bump.

This is complete canon but his original treatment of Alfred, his brothers, and, well, everyone. Like bby boy please read the room.

His ego can easily override common sense. Like he wouldn't jump off a bridge if everyone else was doing it, but if someone said he couldn't he'd immediately swan dive off that bridge.

Bruce:

For the world's greatest detective he can be a major dumb bitch sometimes. Some of it's growing up rich and some is being so wrapped up in his 'crusade for justice' that he just misses basic shit.

One time he walked in on Roy and Jason making out, the next day he saw them cuddling, then they mentioned moving in together. It took him three months to realize that they're dating.

He doesn't understand coupons, like at all. Jason has tried to explain them but Bruce just gets even more confused.

Bruce tried to make coffee once. He literally just poured coffee beans in water and microwaved it. He was surprised when it didn't taste good.

Cass:

Cass is similar to Damian in she lacks common sense from an unconventional upbringing. However she's learning way faster than Damian and depending on where in the timeline you're looking she might have more common sense than Babs.

Basic things like lines, turn taking, and speaking when spoken to aren't innate to her. Like, she knows and understands them, but often forgets about them.

There are many times that she blurs the line between civilian and vigilante because she'll do something that looks v stupid and dangerous for a civilian. The thing is she never notices when she does this.

One time she was in a restaurant and there was a cockroach on the wall across the room (cause Gotham) and instead of getting up and killing it like a normal person she threw her steak knife and impaled it.

Steph:

Steph is probably lacks common sense the most conventional yet slightly concerning way. She lacks common sense in the same way a cartoon character or sitcom character would. Like it's sorta realistic but at the same time damn bby girl why are you such a disaster??

She will do anything on a dare. Anything. There is a rule against daring Steph to do things while in the manor or on patrol.

Every time she hears someone say Red Robin she yells yum. This has gotten both her and RR shot.

Steph is v lucky that 1) she's a badass and 2) the batfam loves her because she annoys absolutely everyone just for shits and giggles and the only reason she hasn't been murdered is that Cass scares everyone.

Jason:

All common sense is lost when dramas at stake. Say what you will but Jason is the (second) biggest drama queen in the family. Also he, like most bats, lacks a sense of self preservation which leads to shit common sense.

He tried to steal Batman's tires.

Sometimes he listens to music during patrol and tries to hit people/shoot on beat. This has lead to stab wounds.

Jason loves to loudly quote classic literature while on stake outs. This is a problem for obvious reasons.

Duke:

Ok this is around the time you get to average common sense levels. But he still runs around Gotham beating people up in tights (or kevlar) so he doesn't get full points. Also he's still not Babs level common sense. One area Duke lacks common sense in is how to deal with the Batfam (which is v understandable tbh)

One time Duke was joking around with Jason and decided to steal a roll off of Damian's plate. This ended in blood.

Other than lacking Batfam common sense, most of his poor judgement moments are less notable but still concerning.

For example the time he challenged Dick to a hot dog eating contest then went on a roller coaster.

Babs:

Other than being a vigilante Babs almost has normal human common sense. However being a vigilante has negative side effects on ones common sense.

While Babs' sleep schedule isn't as bad as Tim's it's not a whole lot better. She's stayed up 72 consecutive hours multiple times.

She has accidentally poured coffee onto her computer instead of into a coffee mug.

One time she drank an entire gallon of milk before realizing it was a month expired.

Alfred:

Most assume that working for Bruce Wayne is a sign of him lacking common sense. But nah, it's him knowing, understanding, and challenging his own limits. Also it's him being a charitable human being. Like he has enough common sense to go around and tbh it's the only thing keeping the family alive.

"Master Bruce, you may not use Elmer's Glue All to close a wound."

"Master Dick I would encourage you not to teach Master Duke acrobatics on the glass coffee table."

"Miss Stephanie I would not advise trying to consume an entire jar of peanut butter in one sitting, and no, I do not care if Master Jason dared you to."

Tada, there's the list! Sorry that was probably a lot longer than anyone wanted, but I enjoy talking about how ditzy the batfam is. Like they're all geniuses but at the same time they're just sooooo dumb.