#OH SHIT SPOONS
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the spoonie experience is driving somewhere and then having a random flare up and suddenly realizing you don’t have enough spoons to drive home and now ur sitting on the floor of a store getting weird looks while you wait to miraculously gain enough energy to make it back to ur car and then not crash and die
#spoonie#chronic fatigue#chronic pain#chronic illness#?#i think??#is chronic fatigue in the chronic illness umbrella or its own thing???#idk i don’t have the spoons for this#the fact that i literally got a perfect 12 hours of uninterrupted sleep last night too#and yet i ate brunch and now i cannot see all the colors are blurring together my eyelids feel like lead#i crave nothing more than to sink into the ground and cease to exist#to sleep and then never wake up#not bc i don’t want to be alive but bc i literally just want to sleep forever simple as that#and i don’t even *want* to sleep either#i *want* to be awake and alive#but the world is like im wearing foggy glasses and breathing is exhausting#OH SHIT SPOONS#SPOON DELIVERY#LETS FUCKING GO#BYE IM RUNNING WHILE I CAN CYA
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you ask yuuta if he wants a bite of your food and when he says yes you offer your plate to him, but he’s just sat there looking at you with his dumb big bambi boy eyes and his mouth slightly open and he will not look away or blink or close his mouth until you lift your fork to his lips to feed him and then he grins like shit’s sweet and hums about how good the food is like nothing happened like he’s not ridiculously attractive. gonna chew on steel
#he consistently does shit like this is like he's not stupidly attractive and its because he does not know. he does not know that he's hot#the yuuta/yuuji divide is that they’re both bad asl and neither know it but yuuji is Not innocent and yuuta is just naive [at first]#which is me saying yuuji is kind but yuuta is just Nice once again#insane i need to bash his head against a table. and kiss him i guess whatever#also who expects to be fed when you offer them food: toge but he KNOWS he's being annoying and whines if u dont feed him#gojo/yuuji/choso are the opposite#gojo asks if u want some of his food and then won't let u have any unless u let him feed it to you. nd if u want to avoid a scene u have to#he just babies people :((///// he does this to everyone . will cry#yuuji also does it reflexively like hes like 'oh! this is good you should try it!' and before u can even agree he's got his spoon#in your mouth and smiling like 😇 its good right!🥰......angel boy#choso...do i need to say it isn't there canonical evidence for this#oh also u offer food to toji and he just kinda tilts his head like oh what ur not gonna feed me? like no. stinky. feed YOURSELF!#yuuta okkotsu.................... when i get my hands on this boy....#💌
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note the word USUALLY, as in most of the time. for bonus points, where are you from/what's your ethnic background
#because if i get 'oh it depends on what im eating' What Are You Usually Eating#poll#reference..... im filipino but grew up in australia. for some reason keep forgetting#that fork spoon combo is not an everywhere thing#this was inspired by the Which hand do you hold ur fork in poll#and many people were citing rules... that referred to using a knife and fork#and i was like. oh shit wait.#uh oh wait knife fork spoon combo... thatll have to go in other
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Hot Take:
If you decided to look below the cut, have these!! Some aimless doodles!!
They're just the foretellers from KH as their respective animals in Mobian form. I enjoyed drawing them and I don't plan on officially posting them on the blog cuz they were merely a concept exercise.
#phantoms#sth idw#sonic fandom#museum#honestly listen#you don't GOTTA love IDW#but maybe all the constant hate is just??? not the look???#also Ian Flynn might not be perfect. but he's head archivest for a fucking reason#if Sega thought he was doing a shit job then Frontiers wouldn't have even existed and he wouldn't be their speical guy#All you guys out here acting like he's fucking Ken Penders and not basically the Sonic Equivalent of Tetsuya Nomura#and for fucks sake Evan Stanley is a FANTASTIC artist who doesn't deserve the shit he gets#''Oh ghosts of the future'' Suck a fucking dick thats a fan project and IS NOT in any way related to her professional work#She writes perfectly fine. You guys just hate her because she doesn't spoon feed you shit. And no im not taking that back#they aren't perfect lets be real#i have my gripes too#but y'all#the blind hate is just NOT it
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due to things lining up Horribly, no stream this weekend! and maybe not the next, either!
#i got too much shit happening this weekend </3#and then i might not have the next off... i still havent gotten my schedule!#i got a sticky note for two days and thats It so far!#oh man im sorry about the lack of Update posts too#im. so tired.#i have No spoons like... at all....#i want to curl up in bed and sleep for a decade but! cant!#i have a 9 hour shift to do again! and again! and again! and again. and again. and again. and again. and agai-#absolutely unprompted#yk i thought having Limited free time would give me motivation to do things i want to#nahhhh its just making me Sad lmao#my brain before: we have all the time in the world so we can do it later#my brain now: we have no time at all so why bother#man. i dont want to get into a groove and then have to either cut it off or be prematurely Exhausted at work.#by the end of the day i already feel dead... cant feel dead at the start or i wont make it...#wow look at me complaining. its been Two Days.#gonna bring a sketchbook so that i can at least doodle during my breaks + lunch#brush up on my traditional skills....
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October 3rd, 2024
I can't tell if I'm "I should rest" tired or if I'm "I should go do some exercise" tired augh
I took a nap, but I also did a lot of walking yesterday. I'm not sore, and not in pain, just very fatigued I guess?
#personal#me#disability#my autism interview went well but idk if im like. mentally tired from that or just didn't sleep well.#or if i need alone time and yoga might be overstimulating#OR if it's depression trying to isolate me and not make me do shit#oh yeah i also just cooked and still have dishes i need to do... that probably took some spoons huh
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flops
i miss doing art casually
#i miss having a small group of buds#where we'd be throwing art and fic around at each other#but also very much aren't into any particular series' right now#or have enough social spoons to go and actually look for a group#bah#bah bah bah#guess this is my yearly 'oh the good old days' malaise#been working on original webcomic stuff that has yet to see the light of day#and am very much understanding people going 'oh shit what do you mean it's been ten years'
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Re: Naruto characters I dislike -- under the cut! :)
The thing with Danzo and Tobirama is that, I get it. I might not agree with it, at all, but I get where they're coming from and, honestly, I am very much self-aware enough that, if I had lived through their same experiences, I can't say for sure that I would have done any different. Did they do terrible things? Absolutely. But, again, I can't proclaim with surety that I'd be any better. Like, I can sit here from my current seat and judge them, but experiences color perception and I'm just as susceptible to bias as everyone else is. Who knows what my outlook would be had I lived through the First and/or Second War.
The thing with Rasa and Chiyo is that, there is some resolution. It's definitely too little, too late, especially in Rasa's case, but there is growth and admittance of fault there so that, even if I don't actually like either character, the character development present in the storyline (particularly for Chiyo!) is such that it somewhat cancels my dislike out, leaving me with largely neutral feelings. I did used to have stronger feelings against them, but I suppose it's true that you mellow out with age lmao
The thing with Hiruzen and Hagoromo and Fugaku is that I neither get it, nor is there any character development or admittance/recognition of fault on their part XD
#the best we get is hag//oromo going: well. favoring one son over the other didn't work so this time i'll split my favor evenly between them#but like. that's just because the first time he got a bad result so now he's trying something different#not because he recognized that oh shit. maybe holding ind//ra responsible for the actions of other people was a crappy thing to do#and fug//aku's: we may have our differences but i am proud of you#doesn't really amount to geez i'm sorry i damaged you irreparably by intentionally exposing you to a warfront at the age of four#to further my own agenda and never allowed you to actually have a childhood#do i even need to say anything about hi//ruzen? XDDD#so yeah. with them i honestly just don't get it. i don't get where they're coming from. and we don't really go anywhere with them either.#(personally i think that since orochi already did two of these shitty parental figures in#he should have been allowed to just go down the list. spring cleaning XD)#omg an opinion post? i finally have spoons for those again??#maybe XD#it feels like it's been forever since i typed my own thoughts on something out instead of just putting some brief commentary in tags!#withoutwords
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friendly reminder that screaming back and forth in half sentences on discord IS writing and not everything you do creatively has to be public facing and riddled with engagement to be valid ✌️
#idk where my long form spoons went and that's A-OH-KAY#º ✧ 。 i’m still out but i’ll grab some stuff at the store ooc shit
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throwback for Long Time Pocketsniper Art Enjoyers- the him!
#tf2#Beta Spy#my art#my ocs#tf2 oc#one of my oldest tf2 ocs I think. there's another spy and a pyro that's existed for longer but I thiink he's the third i made#predates sunny spoons and info!#there's actually only two months between the first drawing of my spy loadout (pompom) and my first drawing of beta#so he's been around for awhile!#OH wait shit there was also a pink medic. Beta's the fourth tf2 oc I made then I think.#I only drew the medic and that other spy like twice though#hsdjgdksjg tag ramblings sorry fellas!
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maybe i’m just easily annoyed (and the news is depressing), but i feel like people on here (or the internet in general lbr) are more willing to criticize/dismiss (even label unrelated things as) “white feminism” (even if it’s bringing up important/relevant issues) than talk about feminism at all. sexism exists in every community you can think of, within every race, ethnicity, social class, religion, nationality, sexuality, what-have-you. it’s easier and more entertaining ig to point out how feminism is lacking or who’s doing feminism “wrong” then attempt to bridge/fill the gaps and actually, Seriously Talk about sexism in detail (and not like it’s some sort of 2nd tier, we’ll circle back to this much later, type of oppression which i Really get the impression of, even within supposedly-progressive spheres) on the regular and not as a series of gotcha posts that get enthusiastically reblogged for a blip in time and then. crickets. like as far as the patriarchy’s concerned (like if i’m looking at this from their perspective), this nitpicking appears very divide-and-conquer. nothing goes anywhere. and things just keep slipping backwards. maybe i’m crazy (maybe i’m way off base), but isn’t feminism meant to help All women, even the ones you dislike? even the ones you hate? like what’s going on here? am i missing something?
#like i definitely was one of those people who dismissed certain issues as 'white feminist' but honestly#i feel like in the long run that's done a lot more harm than good#opening up different websites gives me whiplash sometimes like. oh you HATE women here. ok.#and then watching the news like. oh so EVERYONE hates women. that's crazy!#or maybe i'm just a debbie downer#i'm black btw if it needs to be said. like this isn't me necessarily defending white feminism but honestly#even the most privileged silver spoon conventionally attractive white bread women deal with horrific sexism#we saw that with amber heard (for a very recent example)#just bc 'white feminism' has a lot of blind spots doesn't mean we shouldn't talk about feminism at all#and at least on tumblr that's what it feels like has happened. i could be living in a bubble tho. we all have our blind spots#rambles#feminism#this is very stream of consciousness i just had shit to say.
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my beatles obsessed mom used to put on the yellow submarine when i was sick as a very young kid so i have many delirium-filled memories of it combined with the general weirdness that comes with experiencing a piece of media as a kid and i just know i’d be a horrible parent and feel primal urges to make my kids watch elephant parts with no context or explanation. like not even the monkees show or like the brady bunch and gilligan’s island and i love lucy like i watched. we’d be watching the dolenz jones joyce and hart tv special every night and they’d also have the “hi there baby it’s dolenz and jones” part memorized cause i’d probably repeat it all the time like my mom would with “sit ubu sit, good dog. woof!”
#random thoughts#oh god i would put on 33 1/3 revolutions per monkee for children wouldn’t i#i just feel the need for other people to understand me but i’m not good at being understood so i’d be very weird with my own kids im sure#but yes they’d watch all the weird shit#that i like#gotta make dvds of lady lovely locks and 80s ponies and 60s/70s sesame street and 101 dalmations and looney toons#and brady bunch and gilligan’s island and i love lucy#and silver spoons and threes company and mr belvedere and the nanny and boy meets world and hotel for dogs#and scooby doo where’s my mummy and the original cartoon and 13 ghosts of scooby doo and the ghoul school and a pup named scooby doo#and treasure buddies etc#it’d be fun to watch circus boy with kids i’m sure#but i’d probably accidentally make them watch keep off my grass or something and thatd be probably not good for children#okay i’m gonna shut up i’ve had a super rough day for no reason
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when the doctor asked emma grayling who clara is and she was like "she's a perfectly ordinary girl shes very clever and she's more scared than she lets on is that not enough" literally me to moffat
#clara oswald#doctor who#the fucking loss i experienced in bells of st john#couldnt even allow her to be good at hacking on her own da spoon men had to boost her iq<3#that was the beginning of the end#she was such an interesting and derranged character she deserved more and by more i mean less#so so much less#she was interesting in her own right she did not need that other shit#like she literally had her own time lord victorious moment she saw the universe from birth to death in hide and it changed her#she kept doing increasingly more reckless shit because she went to space to fill a hole she was not trying or expecting to live that long#and she hates it when the doctor tries to be responsible for her#shes always like i never asked you to protect me!!! which is a wild take she refuses to recognise him as the one who can keep her alive in#environments she has never experienced before#she went with him to have some wacky fun and then she saw horrors beyond comprehension and went oh. ok. i can be god too#she looked at the doctor and went oh it's not that you're special it's that your circumstances give you power. and now i have power too#and i have power over you i can make you do things for me#that shit was so good#and like to be clear im not saying she cant have her whole orphan black thing going on#but like what did it actually do for her as a character? it couldve done a lot but she wasnt the focus of any of it#also p much everyone on this show has sacrificed themselves for the doctor it is not a defining trait#what defines her as a character is not that she was Born To Save The Doctor its that she thinks like this#nobodys ever safe!!!!! ive never asked you for that ever!!!
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Just saw a post that irked me that started off by saying Aziraphale has never suffered and as someone with religious trauma and who grew up in an emotionally neglectful and chronically invalidating envrionment I want to be the first to say that suffering is not defined by rigid standards and that there's a reason neglect and manipulation are classed as forms of abuse. I didn't finish reading the post because I got really angry seeing it so I apologize if I missed context by choosing not to engage further but I just want to make it abundantly clear that suffering and abuse are not black and white concepts, and just because someone is in a space that tries to paint themselves as good doesn't mean that they are good (I mean, seriously, if you haven't learned that from this show then idk if you've even watched it), and just because someone is unable to see that their situation is abusive does not mean that they aren't suffering (and in fact people saying that reeeeally smell of "if they were abusive why didnt you just leave?" Vibes)
#d speaks#sorry for the rant#that post just really upset me#and seeing replies that were all like 'i hope aziraphale suffers next season so he knows what its like' actually made me feel sick#again i apologize if I was missing context to that post bc i didn't have the spoons to click the readmore#and I read the replies bc i hoped someone was disagreeing but no such luck#but it just really hurts to see ppl undermining emotional neglect/abuse and religious trauma like that#just bc az doesn't have the ability to see it quite as clearly#like are yall forgetting the time heaven tried to burn him in hellfire?#or the constant repetition of 'you will fail and if u question us we'll kick u out'?#oh or what about the time the angels physically assaulted him for standing up for earth?#or the way he EXPLICITLY told gabriel that he was horribly cruel before losing his memory#like just bc az made a choice u understandably dont like doesnt mean u can use it to invalidate his trauma#(and by extension the trauma of ppl who relate to him who have experienced the same shit)
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me: so i've somehow become the de facto leader of my raid group and there's all this drama and i think i'm bad at dealing with it my therapist: it's interesting that you're the leader of things...that's good right? me: oh no this happens a lot and it's terrible. you know how in skyrim you show up at mage college like "hello yes, i'd like to learn magic" and they're like "that's great, we're having this problem, can you help us?" and you're like "okay sure i guess" and they're like "great, thank you, also you're the leader now b/c you did the stuff" and this happens with every single organization in that game?? This is my life. like i just wander into groups wanting to participate/do stuff and then since i'm the only one who is willing to organize anything i somehow become in charge. my therapist: fascinating! ngl i'm so proud of you for making communities! reaching out! nature is healing! me: i feel like you are not understanding the problem tho :3
#text post#personal#i guess it's a good sign that it's happened again#but also ugh#i don't want to be the leader i want to be the general#like 2nd in command is ideal#you have all the power to organize things but you don't have to deal with people so much lol#also i dont have the spoons to spend a day on discord with someone who can't be on time and just spits vitriol and excuses at me#like that's not fun#gamer drama#we are all too old for this shit fam#my colead just wants to kick this person and i'm like oh no but that's mean but after their shit all day i'm also like idk now#like there's only so much abuse a person can take#all i asked is that they were on time and they like exploded i was like this is not serious but if you want to play you show up#also they accused me of being power hungry and i'm like do you think i want to herd all you cats and beg you to be on time b/c i do not#i just want to do endgame content with some semblance of prog
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Nobody ever talks about Love Games it’s literally one of the most funniest episodes simply due to the fact that Finn has to marry someone right after his girlfriend broke up with him and he never got a divorce
#paypurr art#adventure time#finn mertens#finn the human#ice king#simon petrikov#shitpost#no like FR he marries slime princess and it’s never brought up ever again.#at LEAST jake and simon got divorced (I think)#it’s the funniest shit ever#imagine saying that like oh you’re out of the dating biz#and some lady shows up at ur door like#hey I need to marry you lol#and then you guys have to go thru some love trial#and there was SPOONING????INVOLVED???????#fuckin….spOONING#I lost my shit at that part Btw oh my god#poor finn
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