#OH SHIT I FORGOT FLOUR

[ecstasydemon]

bitches love me for my simple yet delicious soup

[moonchild9350]

A Little Sugar Goes a Long Way

Summary: you’re in need of some sugar and go to see if your neighbor Hyunjin can lend you some.

Pairing: Hyunjin x fab reader

Genre: strangers to lovers au, smut-18+MDNI

Word Count: 3.6k

Warnings: teasing, filthy kissing, oral sex ( m and f receiving), masturbation, nipple play, pussy slapping, cum swallowing, cum tasting, cum swapping, unprotected sex (don’t), squirting, creampie

Notes: a little break from my spooktober fics. I just can’t get enough of hyunjin. spooktober will resume tomorrow!

If you enjoyed, please consider a like, comment, reblog as it keeps me motivated!

Please do not copy, translate, modify, use, or repost this work elsewhere without my permission. ©moonchild9350 (2024)

“Flour, butter, baking powder, milk, salt, canola oil, sugar…”

You frantically looked through your cabinets, looking for the white sack that was needed to complete your recipe. You searched everywhere, but couldn’t find any, panic slowly setting in.

“Shit,” you muttered under your breath, slamming the last cabinet shut.

You were in the process of baking a cake for your friend’s birthday party tomorrow and you were missing the star ingredient. You really didn’t feel like going to the store, having to battle the crowd shopping for their own needs, being shoved this way and that as you tried to get to the aisle you needed.

You crossed your arms and tapped your foot, thinking how you could obtain the sugar. You could have it dropped to your house, but that could take longer than necessary, and plus the delivery fee was bound to be more than the cost of the sugar itself, not to mention having to tip the driver.

You were lost in thought, the idea of going to the store becoming more realistic with each passing second. Right as you decided on your decision, you remembered your neighbor Hyunjin. He recently moved in, but usually keeps to himself, with you only seeing each other in passing when you’re both on your way to work.

You could see if he had some sugar, just enough for your recipe. Making your way to your door, you slid into some shoes and grabbed your keys, leaving to go next door. It was a nice day, the sun shining, no clouds in sight. You made your way down the sidewalk and over to Hyunjin’s house, walking up the steps to his door.

Taking a breath, you rapped your knuckles on the door three times and quickly dropped your hand to wait. A minute passed and then two, with no one answering the door. You were about to turn around to return home, assuming he was out when the door swung open, a disheveled Hyunjin on the other side.

“Oh, hi,” you said, turning to face Hyunjin as you took him in. He was wearing a pair of sweats and a t-shirt splattered with different colors, and his hair up in a ponytail. You forgot how easy he was on the eyes.

He looked at you for a moment, his eyes wide as he tried to place where he knew you from. It was starting to get a little awkward until there was recognition in the brown orbs, a smile gracing his face, his dimples appearing.

“Y/n!” He exclaimed, clapping his hands together. “What are you doing here?”

“Sorry to bother you, but I um…ran out of sugar and I’m baking a cake and…” you paused for a moment and rocked back and forth on your heels. Why were you nervous?

Taking a breath you continued, “And I was wondering if I could use some sugar?”

“Oh? Of course! Come in, I’ll get you some.”

You followed Hyunjin, stepping over the threshold into his home. As you followed Hyunjin to the kitchen, your eyes wandered from room to room, taking in the simplicity of it all. It was surprisingly clean, not what you expected of him.

Once in the kitchen, you stopped by the counter and watched as he opened a cabinet, pulling out the white sac containing the ingredient you needed.

“How much do you need?” Hyunjin inquired.

“One and a half cups please,” you replied.

Hyunjin hummed and grabbed a small bag to place the sugar in. You watched as he delicately opened the bag, his fingers curling around the edge of the rim, pulling it open. Your mind couldn’t help but wander, thinking of how those fingers would feel trailing down your body, touching you where you were throbbing in between your legs.

You watched as he gripped the bag and tipped it over, measuring out the amount you needed. His veins were prominent, his muscles flexed and bulging. You shook your head, ashamed of your staring, he’s your neighbor after all.

While he finished up, you could hear the faint sound of music drifting through the house. You listened closely, familiarity dawning on you at the tune.

“Is that The Paper Kites?” You asked, a smile forming on your face.

Hyunjin looked up from his task with a look of surprise. “You know them?” He asked smiling.

“Mmhmm,” you responded, “I love them.”

Hyunjin closed the bag of sugar and set it aside, then handed you the little baggy he prepared for you.

“Not many people know them,” he said, “I was listening to them while I paint.”

“I didn’t know you painted.” You looked at the man in front of you with curiosity. You found yourself wanting to know more about him. He smiled and then looked down, pushing a strand of hair out of his face.

“I do,” he said, “would you like to see what I’m working on?”

“Absolutely,” you said with a smile. You set your bag of sugar down before following Hyunjin further into his house. The music became a little louder, the folk tune permeating the air the closer you got to where he paints.

Hyunjin gestured you inside a room, bowing slightly as you passed. You giggled at his chivalry, fascinated with this strange man.

Once inside, you stopped, taking in the room. It had the feel of organized chaos, sketch books and canvases littering the corners. Some canvases were blank, not yet graced with a story while others were covered in intricate, abstract designs.

In front of a large window, Hyunjin had set up shop. An easel with a large canvas perched on top sat in front of a large window, the view consisting of the expanse of trees. A little stool was present, where he created his stories little by little.

“Come, come,” Hyunjin said, breaking you out of your thoughts.

You followed him over to the canvas and gasped in awe at the picture in front of you. The picture was breathtaking, the swirls of colors blending in to create a beautiful scene. The people were drawn to embrace, the outlines of their bodies fading into the stormy background.

“It’s still a work in progress, but…yeah,” Hyunjin said.

He watched your face as you looked over his painting, your eyes roaming over each figure, each detail, analyzing his work with thoughtful eyes. You were beautiful in that moment, the sun’s rays trying to peak through the curtains he had over the window, illuminating your face and causing it to glow.

His eyes drifted to your lips, as you lightly bit them in contemplation, the flesh blanching briefly before blood flow returned, causing your lips to take a rosey tint once more.

“It’s beautiful,” you whispered, not wanting to disturb the calm atmosphere, your eyes searching out his.

“Thank you,” Hyunjin replied, rocking back and forth on his feet.

You both stood there in silence, neither one of you knowing what to say, the music continuing to play in the background, soft and sweet.

It doesn’t begin right away, the feeling of want. It starts softly, gently, with the beating of your heart, slowly increasing to where it feels like it will jump out of your chest. The feeling moves lower until it reaches your core, a pulsing ache in this serene moment.

There’s a shift in the air, a change. What once was calm and friendly, turns into something charged and electric, almost as if the feelings between you two are now palpable, drifting through, lightly touching and caressing your skin.

Hyunjin is nervous, never having had a beautiful girl in his home, yet alone in his most sacred space. He stands there watching, waiting, as the tension grows, the feeling growing into something large, taking over his body. He feels his cock twitch within the confines of his sweats as he watches you breathe in and out, your breasts heaving with each breath.

He’s unsure of what to say, but wonders what you will do if he leans in and presses his lips to yours, feels the softness against his own. He finds himself drifting closer to you, one step at a time, his eyes never leaving yours. He’s never felt this desire before, not with any of the few encounters he’s had. He’s nervous and scared, hoping this doesn’t backfire on him, hoping you’ll accept him.

You watch as Hyunjin walks toward you, that look in his eyes as if he’s hunting his prey, yet also with a hint of fear. He’s probably nervous of what you will do if he reaches out, touches you, caresses you. He need not worry, as you begin to move toward him, meeting him half way.

Your dripping, your arousal leaking into your panties, the wetness soaking the material through. You watch as he looks at your lips and then your eyes as if he’s seeking permission.

With a slight nod of your head, he lightly grasps your face and leans down, his breath shaky until his lips meet yours. It’s just flesh against flesh at first, both of you savoring the feel of each other, the softness of your lips pressed together.

But then it changes, as Hyunjin moves his lips against yours, softly, gently, as he pulls you closer. It goes on for a few moments more before turning more hungry, more needy as the kiss becomes more heated.

He nips your bottom lip causing you to sigh, his tongue sliding in against yours at the newfound opportunity. The kiss continues to grow more passionate, more desperate as you both take each other in, needing to be closer to each other in this moment.

You pull away out of breath, Hyunjin chasing after your lips, a whine escaping with the motion. You grin and lick your lips, before pushing him backwards, slowly, one step after the other, until his legs hit his stool, causing him to collapse onto the seat.

He stares at you with wide eyes, his chest rising and falling, watch as you sink to your knees. He can’t believe his luck, not thinking his day would take this turn.

You run your hands over his thighs, rubbing them through his pants, inching higher and higher with each repetition, getting closer to the bulge that’s forming, slowly filling out his sweats. You see a wet spot forming, causing you to smile.

You continue your assault, before reaching his covered cock, placing your hand over the hard appendage. You listen to him gasp, his eyes hooded as he gazes at you. He’s hard, unbelievably so beneath your hand. You give his cock a squeeze and shift closer so you can place your hands within the confines of his waistband.

You pull his sweats down, Hyunjin helping you by lifting his hips so you can rid him of the accursed item. You noticed he wasn’t wearing boxers, his cock slapping his belly once his sweats were out of the way.

You smirked at the information, “you naughty boy,” you cooed, as you tossed his pants away.

Hyunjin gulped at your teasing. He was turned on, as you touched him, teased him, your fingertips dancing on his skin. You touch him everywhere but where he wants it most, his pelvis becoming sticky with each passing moment as his pre-cum steadily leaks from the tip. His cock twitches whenever you move, hoping in anticipation that you’ll touch him there or even better wrap your pretty lips around his cock.

You can tell he’s at his wits end, wanting you to touch him. He’s being good for you, you notice as he sits still, clenching and unclenching his fists. You decide maybe it’s time to reward him, soothe the ache you know he’s feeling.

You clench your thighs together before leaning down to press a kiss to his tip, as Hyunjin moans above you. You press kiss after kiss on the tip, the shaft, all the way back up before taking the head between your lips. You began to suckle, your tongue darting out every now and then to press against his slit.

Hyunjin is a mess, as you take him in, the feeling of your wet, hot mouth on his cock better than anything of his wildest dreams. He, however, grips your hair and lets out the loudest moan as your mouth descends further, taking him to the hilt, his cock kissing the back of his throat.

He takes a deep breath, and then another one, willing to calm himself down and not blow his load too soon. He gazes down at you, the beautiful sight of your mouth on his cock, the spit that’s dribbling out, helping with the slide.

He’s in love with the sounds you make, the little moans that you let out, the vibration causing his cock to twitch. He’s close, embarrassingly so.

You can tell Hyunjin is close as he grips your hair harder, pushes your head down more forcefully, as you take him in again and again. Your pussy quivers in need with each twitch of his cock, your mind wandering, needing him in you.

You grasp his thighs and continue to blow him, never slowing down. It’s a messy, sloppy affair, as your spit dribbles down his shaft and into the pubic hair around his cock. You moan as he presses your head down one more time and he cums with a loud groan, rope after rope of hot cum hitting the back of your throat, flooding your mouth with the salty fluid.

After a moment, Hyunjin releases your head and you sit up, your mouth full of cum. You look him in the eyes before you swallow, Hyunjin letting out a whimper as you do so.

He watches you as he comes down from his high, watches as you stand up and back away towards the little couch he keeps in his studio. He watches as you raise the shirt over your head, a black lacy bra on display. He watches as you unclasp the bra, your pillowy tits popping out, nipples hardened and prominent. He watches as you slid your leggings and panties down your legs, a string of your arousal dripping from your soaking pussy and onto your ruined panties.

Hyunjin unconsciously licks his lips, wanting to attach them to your soaked lips in front of his view. He nearly topples over as you sit down and lean back, spreading your legs wide, your pussy on display. He nearly chokes when you spread your lips, a ‘shlick’ echoing throughout the room from your wetness.

You’re wet, unbelievably so, and you know Hyunjin loves it. You watch him as you reach your fingers down, the digits landing on your pussy. You dip them into your heat, gathering up your arousal before bringing them to your clit. You swirl them around the bud, sighs leaving your lips as you apply a little more pressure. You continue to pleasure yourself until Hyunjin jumps up, tosses his shirt off, and all but practically runs to you, dropping to his knees as he whines.

He pulls you to the edge of the couch as buries his face in your pussy, causing you to squeal at the sudden intrusion. He darts his tongue out to lick a stripe from your entrance to your clit, before sucking the bud between his plush lips. He takes you in with no mercy, grasps you tighter, harder as he eats you out like a man starved.

Your hands fly to his hair, grasping the strands as he sticks his tongue into your wet heat, fucking your walls with the muscle. You cry out as he massages you, pushing him further into your sopping pussy as his nose brushes against your clit, the stimulation causing shivers to run down your spine.

You feel on fire, warmth expanding and spreading throughout your body, your toes curling, as he makes out with your delicate flower. Your moans increase in intensity, your voice rings out as you let go, releasing your arousal all over Hyunjin’s face. He steadily drinks you in, lapping up every drop as it gushing from your core.

Hyunjin groans as he tastes you, as he becomes obsessed with how you spill on his tongue. He doesn’t let up, not for a moment, even when you squirm and mewl in overstimulation. He revels in how you grip his hair, how the pain shoots through him with each tug, the sensation traveling to his cock, causing it to harden even further.

He finally pulls away, his face smothered in your arousal, the fluid glistening on his lips, his chin, his nose. He swipes his tongue over his bottom lip, savoring the taste of you as he watches you, watches your tits rise and fall with each breath, the look of infatuation on your face. He doesn’t wipe the rest of his face, no, he wants you to taste yourself on him, so you can savor the taste just as he did.

You watch as Hyunjin stands, and strokes his cock, wet sounds permeating the air with each pass. He shuffles closer to you, cock in hand as he gazes at your pussy, watching as it clenches over nothing, your cream oozing out, down your ass and onto his couch below.

He pulls his eyes away and looks into yours before asking “can I?”

You smile at him and beckon him forward, holding your legs open in invitation. He steps forward and taps your pussy with his cock, causing you both to moan at the sound, how wet you are for him, this man you’ve just met.

You sigh as he runs his cock through your folds before his tip catches at your entrance. He slowly pushes his cock in, your walls accommodating to the stretch. Inch by inch he pushes, until his cock is sheathed fully within you, snug within your walls. He stills and looks down at you, his eyes full of lust. You both breathe in tandem until you signal for him to move.

Hyunjin feels at home, sheathed between your warmth, as if his cock was made to be buried within your walls. He takes a deep breath and with your ok slides his cock out until the tip is almost out before sliding back in. He thrusts again and again before speeding up, the feeling of ecstasy spreading throughout his body.

You both are a mess as you both moan and clutch onto each other more, trying to get as close as possible as he thrusts his cock within you. You play with his ponytail, your fingers running through the strands as Hyunjin buries his face in your neck, letting out a whine.

He’s desperate for your pussy, his mind a jumbled mess as you suck him in over and over. He’s desperate in the sound it makes, talking back to him with each glide. He sits up so he can look, watch his cock stretch your walls and what he’s met with almost makes him blow his load.

His cock is coated in white, coated in your arousal. He’s in a trance as he watches his pelvis meet yours, your cream coating the hair donning his pelvis, the ‘shlick’ sound it makes as he withdraws. He’s in disbelief as your little hole stretches around his cock, his ego soaring that you take him so well.

He snaps out of his trance when he watches you reach down, your fingers playing with your clit, smearing your arousal around. He watches as you mewl, your other hand coming up to play with your tits, pinching, grasping, massaging the flesh.

He feels his cock swell with each passing moment, feels it twitch each time you clench down on him. He looks into your eyes and mutters the words that leads to both of your undoings.

“Cum with me princess.”

You squirt all over his cock, your release covering his cock, coating your thighs and drips down your ass. You moan out as Hyunjin stills, his cock twitching within, his cum painting your walls white. He fills you, thrusting a few more times for good measure before withdrawing his cock.

You watch as he kneels down once more and licks up both of your release, making sure not to leave a drop before standing up and connecting your lips with his. He pushes his cum mixed with your slick onto your tongue, as he groans deeply.

Hyunjin pulls back and stares at you, “go ahead and swallow princess,” he coos.

You do as you’re told, the mixture of salty with a bit of sweet sliding down your throat. You open your mouth afterwards, Hyunjin smiling.

“Wait here,” he mutters before grabbing his sweats and pulling them on.

You watch as he leaves the room. You didn’t have to wait long, as he comes back with a towel to clean you up. He’s soft and gentle, ensuring to clean every sticky drop up before helping you sit up.

You grin as he helps you get dressed before he sits on the ground, placing his head in your lap.

You smile down at your neighbor, cradling his face. His eyes say it all, will he see you again, will he get to feel you again. You reassure him with a look of your own, not wanting to disturb the silence of the moment.

You’re glad you didn’t go to the store to get the ingredient you needed, happy you decided to trust your neighbor to have it in his home. After all, a little sugar can go a long way.

Taglist: @jehhskz @jeonginsleftcheek @simpforleeknaur @armystay89 @palindrome969 @slut4hee @ivydoesit23 @amarecerasus @kaysungshine @fun-fanfics @baby-stay92 @velvetmoonlght

[roosterforme]

Stiff Competition | Bob Floyd x Reader

Summary: After visiting your bakery one time, Bob has a crush on you. The only problem is, so do all of the other guys.

Warnings: Fluff and some swears

Length: 2500 words

Pairing: Robert "Bob" Floyd x Female Reader

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Bob quietly followed his friends inside the trendy, new bakery that opened near base. He had become so accustomed to the bickering between Hangman and Rooster, he found it almost soothing, even early on a Monday morning.

"No way," Bradley said, shaking his head at Jake. "You're wrong, and now you're just being stubborn."

Jake sighed calmly. "I'm just saying, there's no way anyone, Fred included, would pick Velma over Daphne. It's unrealistic."

Bradley grunted in response. "Whatever. Smart girls are always hot."

Bob just cradled his forehead in his hand and let the rich smell of fresh coffee and baked goods wash over his senses. All three men in their khaki uniforms shuffled forward as the line moved.

"Holy shit," Bradley and Jake muttered softly and in perfect unison. 

"Do you see what I see?" Bradley asked, staring entranced at the sight before him.

"Oh hell yes, I do," Jake confirmed with a nod. 

Bob immediately looked in the direction they were staring, and his breath caught in his throat. All three of them were now eyeing you up where you stood behind the counter. You were smiling at one of the patrons and filling a pastry box with donuts. 

"She's kinda hot," Bradley whispered.

"Better than that. She's fucking gorgeous," Jake replied.

Bob silently agreed with them, noting the adorable smudge of flour on your cheek. He had always been a little shy, a little timid around women. And he was not about to get into a dick measuring contest with Bradley and Jake. He would just let the two of them fight it out, because Bob was never the one to get the stunning girl.

When it was their turn to order, Bob watched the other two men trip over each other to get to the counter first. You smiled at each of them in turn, your gaze lingering on Bob and making him blush. 

"Hi! What can I get for you fellas?" you asked the three of them, and Bob completely forgot what he was going to order. 

"Hey, gorgeous. What would you recommend?" Bradley asked in a deep and raspy voice as he leaned against the counter and peered at you over his aviators. 

You chuckled and shook your head. "I would recommend the citrus muffin with orange zest."

"Perfect, I'll get six of those," he said, his smile twitching below his mustache. "I'm Bradley, by the way."

"And I'm Jake! And I'll get a dozen muffins." Bob watched Jake flash you a megawatt smile, and he wished he could be half as charming. 

"A dozen muffins?" you asked Jake. Your eyes skimmed back over Bob's face with an amused glint in your eye. 

"Actually, I'll take two dozen," Bradley said, changing his order and glaring at Jake. 

"So you want a total of three dozen muffins?" you asked before turning toward the bakery case. "Okay.... seems excessive," you muttered. 

Bob watched you intently as you packed up bakery boxes of muffins and entered them into the register. You must have known what was going on here, but you just smiled at the three of them as you worked. 

"Anything for you?" you asked, flashing Bob a smile that made him feel a little nervous. "You're awfully quiet back there."

"Uh, just a small coffee, please," he muttered, getting out his wallet and trying to stay cool.

"One hundred and twenty eight dollars is your total," you announced, and Jake and Bradley both tried to get you to take their credit cards at the same time. 

"I've got it, I insist," Bradley said.

"Use my platinum card," Jake announced loudly.

"Use mine. His will definitely be declined," Bradley replied, trying to nudge Jake out of the way.

You carefully took one in each hand and said, "Um... I'm just going to split it between both cards. How does that sound?"

When the enormous quantity of muffins had been collected, and you handed Bob his coffee, he forced himself to meet your eyes. "Thank you, miss," he said softly, as your fingers grazed against his. "You have a lovely day."

Bob watched you bite your lip as he tucked five dollars into the tip jar and nodded his head at you.

"Thanks. See you soon, I hope," you called as he turned to leave. Bob glanced back one last time as he exited the bakery, and you were still looking at him.

------------------------------

On Tuesday at lunchtime, Bob was about to eat the sandwich he had packed, but Jake suggested going back to the bakery. 

"I hope she's working again today," Bradley said, grabbing his car keys. 

Jake nodded enthusiastically. "Hot little piece like that, she's gotta have a boyfriend."

Bradley snorted. "Wouldn't be the first time I've stolen a girl from another guy."

"What makes you think she'd pick you when I'm available?" Jake asked.

Bob just tuned them out until they all arrived at the bakery. He was hoping to see you again too, but he just wanted to listen to your voice and watch you smile. He'd let the other two do most of the talking. They were good at that sort of thing.

"Gorgeous," Bradley called you. "How've you been?"

"Fine," you replied, once again smiling at the three of them. "What can I get for you today? Another coffee for you?" you asked Bob, and he just nodded in reply. He didn't need more caffeine today, but he wanted you to hand him the cup again. He'd just give it to Phoenix when he got back on base. 

Bob listened to the other two men once again order more pastries than anyone could ever need, and this time Jake pulled a massive wad of cash out of his wallet and insisted on paying for everything. Bradley had a sour look on his face that he tried to hide when you smiled at him and handed him two bags of food. 

Then he stood to his full height, chest puffed out. "Thanks, gorgeous," Bradley said, sliding his aviators back into place. Bob watched Jake try to stand as tall as Bradley, failing and looking ridiculous in the process. Bob just closed in on himself a little more, trying to blend his tall frame into the background. 

"And your coffee," you said, handing the disposable cup to Bob with another beautiful smile. His hand shook when he accepted the cup, and a little bit of the beverage sloshed down the sleeve of his flight suit and splashed onto the counter.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," Bob muttered, setting down the cup and reaching for the napkins. 

"No, it was my fault," you assured him. "I'll clean it up, you don't have to."

"Bob!" Jake called from the doorway. "What's the holdup, man? You coming?"

"Uh, I'll meet you at the car," he replied, mopping up the drink and drying his sleeve.

"Your name's Bob?" you asked him softly. 

He glanced up to meet your warm gaze and nodded once. "Yes. I'm Lieutenant Robert Floyd, but everyone calls me Bob," he said quietly. 

You smiled and told him your name. "Here you go, Bob. These are on the house. Sorry I spilled your coffee."

Bob took a small paper bag from you and picked up his coffee cup once more. "Oh, that's not necessary. It was my fault."

"I insist," you told him. "See you again soon?"

He looked down at his feet and smiled. "Yes. See you again soon."

"I can't wait."

---------------------------------

On Friday morning, Bob was a nervous wreck. He'd been thinking about you all week, but he knew the other guys had been, too. They had been talking about you a lot, but Bob was too shy to tell them he was also interested in you. 

He'd given the coffee to Phoenix the other day, but he smiled when he opened the bag and found a croissant. His favorite. It seemed like you knew. And it was flaky and perfect, and he couldn't wait to see you again and get another one. 

"Bakery time!" Bradley announced. "Time to visit the hottie. You coming, Bob?"

Bob fell into step behind him and Jake, but then Reuben and Javy were joining as well. "Everyone's coming today?" Bob asked, squeezing into Reuben's car along with the other four. 

"Yeah, can't wait to see this girl," Javy said. 

"Heard she's sexy," Reuben agreed. 

Bob just stared out the window and sighed. He was just going to have to get over his crush on you. It was the only way to keep his heart from breaking. He wouldn't look at you, and he wouldn't talk to you. And he definitely wouldn't eat another croissant. 

He shuffled into the bakery behind the others, and there you were. He tried to look at all of the baked goods in the case, but you greeted him by name. You greeted only him by name. 

"Hi," he managed, and the other four guys turned to glare at him. 

"Gorgeous, what would you recommend today?" Bradley asked you.

"Blueberry muffins are good today," you replied, and you started packing up a box full at Javy's request. 

"So, how long have you been working here?" Reuben asked, leaning so far across the counter, he may as well have just jumped over. 

"I'm the owner and primary baker," you told them, and Bob was so impressed. 

"Wow, gorgeous. Your muffins are really famous around here. We can't stop coming back for more," Bradley said, smirking at you. But you were looking at Bob again as he inched forward. 

"Did you make the croissant? It was very good," he told you, unable to look away. 

You beamed at him. "I did. They're my specialty."

Bob swallowed hard, all four guys looking at him in surprise now. "Could... uh, could I have another one? I'll pay for it this time though, if you don't mind. It was delicious."

"Of course, Bob. Anything you want." You turned to get a bag ready, and Bob thought he might faint. 

Jake turned and mouthed at him, "Anything you want?"

Bob just shrugged and made his way toward the register. He was pouring sweat in his flight suit, trying to stay as calm as possible. You met him at the other end of the counter and smiled as you slid a bag and a small coffee his way. 

"Three dollars," you told him softly, as if you could tell he was nervous, but you didn't seem to mind.

"What about the coffee?" he asked as he adjusted his glasses.

"On the house."

Bob quickly paid you for the croissant, as he could already hear Jake and the others getting restless. 

Jake leaned across the counter as you ran his credit card. "You interested in pilots?" he asked with a smirk. 

You just swiped the card and handed it back to him. "You're all pilots?" you asked, smiling at all of them. 

"Nah, Bob here is just a backseater," Reuben said loudly, slapping Bob on the back and nearly spilling his coffee.

"Oh, so Bob's the brains of the operation? Sounds about right," you said, sending a subtle wink in his direction. 

Bob's ears felt a little fuzzy and his collar felt a little too tight. Maybe he had imagined the wink. Yes, that must be it. 

The guys all hooted, and Jake said, "Well sure, Bob's smart and organized, but that's not as exciting."

You just shrugged. "Still sounds exciting to me. Hope you guys all have a safe flight this afternoon. Enjoy your croissant, Bob."

He floated out onto the sidewalk with the others, still in a daze. 

"What the fuck, guys? She likes Bob the best?" Javy said in disbelief as they all walked back to the car. "Hangman and Rooster, you two really dropped the ball."

"Does she?" Bob asked quietly. "She likes me?"

Reuben shoved half a muffin into his mouth and grinned. "You should ask her out, man." 

Bob thought about asking you out the whole drive back to base and as he walked to meet up with Phoenix. When he finally opened the bag to eat his croissant, he saw that you had put three inside. 

--------------------------

Late Saturday morning, Bob paced around outside of the bakery with a bouquet of flowers in his hand. He'd peeked in through the window and saw that you and another girl were working, but he'd lost his nerve. He was on the verge of heading back to his car and calling it a day when the door opened, and he could smell the croissants. 

"You can do it," he told himself and rushed inside before he could turn around.

"Bob!" you called with a bright smile. "Back for more croissants?"

He took a deep breath and headed toward you. He noticed you were looking at the flowers in his hand, but you didn't say anything or rush him to respond, which he appreciated. You just smiled and leaned on the counter. 

"Yes, I would like another croissant," he muttered, and you pushed up from the counter to get it for him. "Actually, I would like two. But you need to let me pay for both of them today."

"Okay. Sure, Bob," you said with the tiniest smile as you put two into a bag. But now you didn't look as happy, and he wanted to kick himself. How had he messed this up already?

He met you at the register, and you asked him, "So, are the flowers for your wife? Or your girlfriend?"

"Oh, neither," he said, lifting them a little higher. "I don't have either of those."

You looked up at him and bit your lip. "Who's the extra croissant for?"

Bob watched your lips as you waited for him to answer. He was sweating, but he was in too deep to turn back now. "I, um... thought maybe we could eat them together. When you're done working. If you're not too busy."

Your smile lit up your face again. "I would like that."

Bob's smile matched your own. "You would?"

"Yeah," you told him with a nod. "You're so sweet. Much better than your friends. Are those flowers for me?"

Bob looked at the floor as he felt himself blushing. "Oh, yeah," he said, handing them to you. "Of course they are."

He watched you disappear into the kitchen for a minute, only to reappear without the flowers or your apron. Then you joined him on his side of the counter. Without any hesitation, you placed one hand on his shoulder and kissed his cheek.

"Let's go for a walk," you told him, and Bob's heart was absolutely pounding for you. "I know a nice bench, perfect for eating croissants."

Bob felt you lace your fingers through his, and he held your hand in his larger one. "Lead the way."

-----------------------

This fic is for my Bobby loving friend Alex!!! @bradshawsbitch

Thanks to Alli @beyondthesefourwalls for giving this a read for me.

I hope I have done our Loverboy Bob justice!

@theamuz

@cherrycola27

@katiedid-3

@mak-32

@je-suis-prest-rachel

@endofdays56

@avaleineandafryingpan

@t-nd-rfoot

@wkndwlff

@eddiemunsonreader

@wintercap89

@the-fever-of-mankind

@yanna-banana

[prettypinkprincessa]

Sukuna x reader fluff

You woke up extra early today. At exactly 7:am. You were hoping to make a sweet breakfast for your husband. But things got a bit out of control.

As you quietly snuck out of your shared bedroom, you grabbed all of the ingredients you needed.

“Flour, water, and sugar. Great.” You whispered to yourself as you began to stir all of the ingredients together, making a mess of pancake batter all over your husbands large shirt.

You kept mixing and mixing and mixing until all of the lumps were out of the batter. Somewhere along the way you dropped the whole bag of flower on the floor causing it to flare up in the air like fog.

“Shit!” You quickly pour the batter in the hot pan for it to cook and grab a wet cloth to get the flour up. But instead of cleaning the mess the water from the cloth mixed with the flour, creating this strange clay texture.

“What the fuck?!” You yelled, you paused because of a certain funk roaming in the air.

Quickly you turned towards the stove. The pancakes had burned. You forgot to put oil in the pan. Idiot.

“OH MY FUCKING GOSH” you jumped up almost slipping and rushed towards the stove, but you were too slow, the fire alarm had already went off. Waking up your husband.

All of a sudden you heard big footsteps stomping towards the kitchen. The house seemed to shake a bit. Literally.

“What the hell is going on?” Sukuna asked, entering the kitchen and looking down at you. You were a hot mess. Flour was all over your cheeks, hair and clothes. The floor was a mess. The smoke from the pancakes fogged the air, and for some reason the sink was flooded with water.

Although you made a complete mess and looked like one he couldn’t get over how fucking cute you were. Eyes wide and sad and lips pouty.

Gosh.

“I’m..I’m sorry kuna…I just wanted to make you something nice but…I messed up. I won’t do it again.” You looked to the ground, eyes glossy as you blinked back tears.

“Sensitive little thing.” He said as he walked closer to you, grabbing your chin and forcing you to make eye contact with him.

You looked up at him, sniffling softly.

“Don’t be upset. I’m not mad at you.. Thank you for thinking of me..”

“You’re welcome..” you mumbled out, eyes still teary and flushed.

“Lets clean this up together?” He asked. Voice stern but his eyes showed nothing but sincerity and patience.

“Okay..” you smile gently, easing his nerves a bit.

[brittle-doughie]

What if one day y/n just...snapped about being taken on l these adventures like...when they leave the cocoon...they take a deep breath....they clearly were able to resist whatever mystic flour was doing but they look furious with tears rolling down their face and when cookies try to talk to them

(Btw this begining thing has been brought to by vanoss's skit "go home, go bed.".....also plz make a full skit of this, i think it would be hilarious, here is video to show you what happens lol! https://youtu.be/Czy1Urs_QaU?si=q-OZAcseXKJHE8u6):

*y/n throws their hands into the air.*

Y/n: I'm getting absolutely sick of this stupid fucking kidnapping and stuff of 'join me' and all that stuff when I just want a happy cookie life. Get treated like a normal cookie and not put up with this hound droppings. Gonna go home, go bed. Sick of this. That's a nice looking ceiling. That's some nice building. Gonna go home, go bed. Tired of this.

*they start walking away...then freeze and turn around.*

Hold on I forgot my keys gonna grab my keys....

*they froze.*

Oh wait no they are still in my pocket nevermind. Gonna go back to going away.

*they turn around and start walking again.*

Gonna get myself a big glass of [favorite drink] then go home, go bed. I'm out of here! Not gonna take this anymore, gonna go home, go bed. Ain't never coming back neither. Never doing this again, this shit is bullshit.

Tired of this Beast nonsense, going to bed. Long ass walk, walking for like an hour, it’s annoying. Don’t even know where you’re at cause you haven’t looked at the ground for 30 minutes

Going home, going to bed. You should probably start looking and paying attention to where you’re at. You hope your mom made some meat jellies or something, you were starving.

Pretty sure this isn’t the Cookie Kingdom at this point, those do not look like your buildings. Nope nope, definitely not the Kingdom, your mom wasn’t a stellar mage and you didn’t even own an owl.

Nope, nope. Still not your kingdom, definitely not your kingdom. Pretty sure this is the Republic harbor, you saw two guys getting drunk on mudshakes. This god forsaken harbor is humongous

You’ll take a large sandwich, medium fry, and a coke please. Almost home, holding your pants, go home, go to bed. Cake monster, damn you. No seriously, damn you. [Proceeds to smite them with your sword]

Gonna go home, go to bed, you were done with this. What the hell were the ancients looking at, you were done with this Beast nonsense, going to bed.

(The Ancients were next to your bedroom the whole time.)

Oh shit, that was your bed! Oh hey, you were home!

[kedreeva]

I tried to make sourdough biscuits to freeze as a test to see if they would bake afterwards, and how, and so I mixed them up and cut them out and carefully preserved them on parchment paper in my freezer and then hours later I bagged them once they were frozen so I could take them to my mom's and then I went to sit down and realized oh FUCK. I fucking forgot the butter. I FORGOT the BUTTER. I skipped a whole ass step.

And I told my mother, shit I forgot the butter, and she goes what do you mean like inside or on top?

Inside!!! Inside!!!!!!!!! I didn't mix the butter in during prep!!! These are unbuttery biscuits!!!

And she goes

I didn't add butter to mine (I had brought her some discard to bake these biscuits with a few days ago)

I said what do you mean?

She goes, the recipe you told me didn't have butter (I told her the recipe from memory)

I FORGOT THE BUTTER TWICE

but wait there's more!!!

She goes, your dad liked them

At which point I'm forced to ask: did he tho. Did he like them, or did he tell you he liked them, the way he LIED to us for 35 years about liking pizza?

Well, she says, I don't know. he did admit tonight to not liking brussel sprouts

Which they've been eating together for years now, literally this man is incapable of telling someone he doesn't like a food which explains a lot of my childhood meals

So I'm like okay okay okay okay. Okay. I know I forgot the butter and I know these biscuits are frozen hockey pucks right now but hear me out... What if I turn the oven on to preheat it, and then put the biscuits under the oven vent to thaw, and then just mix the butter in after? Surely nothing will go wrong with this plan.

So I break out the biscuits, and I turn on the oven, and I start thawing them, and I put the butter into a bowl, and start frantically trying to mash it with a pastry masher. This goes about as well as you might expect, which is to say terribly, because the butter just sort of turns into a pile of butter instead of a stick, and I need it to be pebbles of butter.

So I start sprinkling in flour, just until the butter stops re-amalgamating. The biscuits are basically thawed by this point so I try to mash those in and that goes very very very badly, so I clean the tool and just start folding the butter in with my hands like kneading bread, desperately just trying to mash it into one coherent form. It makes a ball of dough, or good enough to pass for one, and I cut out six biscuit sized chunks.

Put them in. Bake them. My oven light doesn't work so I can't even check on them while they're baking to see if I fucked it up worse.

Finally I pull them out, and I realize I fucked up but at least it was in the right direction. The biscuits don't look like they're supposed to, but they do look like layered biscuits, and they taste fine. I put a bunch of honey on one of them and it was pretty good.

I tell all of this to my partner when he gets home and he listens to all of it in silence. When I'm done his only comment is:

"Well, I guess we know how puff pastry was invented, now."

Yeah, it was some asshole hundreds of years ago trying to cover up biscuit sins!!

[co-sharkie]

(POLY) WWE’s Himbo BFs trying to make you a birthday cake

The boys are at Austin’s house. Standard cake ingredients covered the counters. Flour is all over the place, eggs cracked in the carton, the vanilla extract is missing, etc..

Austin bought a Kitchen-Aid mixer just for this one day, but Grayson probably broke it already. Grayson forgot to lock the bowl in and stuff flew all over.

"This is awful." Austin grumbled as he scrubs the vegetable oil off of his hands.

"Say that again when you have flour up your nose." Despite the bowl now being secured, Grayson still held it while the ingredients were being mixed. "What's the next step?"

Austin unlocked his phone and opened the recipe they had been trying to follow. "Now you can add the wet stuff. Slowly." Grayson grabbed the separate bowl of wet ingredients and began pouring it into the mixer. "No! It says slowly!"

"What difference does it make if I do it slowly or not! It's all going to the same bowl!" Grayson yelled back. The wet ingredients were now all in the bowl, mixing as they argued.

They genuinely have no idea what they are doing, even when following a recipe from online. Austin wants to follow the directions perfectly while Grayson just wants to throw everything in the bowl and call it good.

Once they finally get the cake in the oven, Austin starts trying to clean up. Grayson goes to take a shower since he is covered in cake ingredients.

Once the cake comes out of the oven they are overjoyed and a little too proud of themselves.

Then they realize they don’t have frosting.

The entire cycle repeats as they try to make frosting. Stuff is everywhere, Austin is losing it because his hands are sticky, and Grayson is just trying to keep the mixer from falling apart.

With the frosting made and ready, they start to frost the cake. But the cake hasn’t had time to cool down…

You get to Austin’s house after running a ton of errands. It may have been your birthday, but you still had things to do. When you walk in the door and take your shoes off, you can hear your boys arguing in the kitchen.

“What are you guys arguing about—oh my—”

The boys both turn to you with wide eyes in a kitchen that is once again covered in a mess of dishes, flour, and… is that sprinkles?

“Happy birthday!” They chant in unison. Between them, on the counter, is a two layer cake that looks like it’s about to tip over. The frosting was messily smeared on with chunks of cake stuck in it. There were more sprinkles on the counter around than on the actual dessert.

“Awe, you guys made me a cake?” You smiled and tried your best to ignore the mess. There was an egg on the floor you had to avoid stepping on while walking over to the counter with them. “That’s so sweet.”

“We tried, but I can’t guarantee it’s going to taste good…” Austin trailed off.

Grayson leaned down to give you a kiss on the cheek. “We went through hell and back to make this for you.”

“Yeah, I can tell from the kitchen.” You laughed. “Did you guys make all of this from scratch?”

They both nodded. “Why didn’t you just use box mix? Don’t get me wrong–I love that you guys made me a cake by hand but box mix is super easy.”

Both of the boys stared at you like you had three heads. “They make this shit in a box?”

[vesuvianhermitcrabs]

MC Forgets Asra's Birthday

OH SHIT I FORGOT TO WRITE ANYTHING HERE YOU GO ANYWAY AHAHAHAHA?? So this gets to be about MC forgetting Asras birthday lol. Now, just know that this is kind of a long bit of writing and it is NOT edited.

(Under the cut because it is a lot)

"...MC?"

You hear the sheets rustling as Asra searches them for you, but he stops once he realizes you're getting ready to go out.

You turn to him, greeting his sleepily confused face with a good morning and a quick explanation as to why you're going out. So many things to do! You can't remember the last time you were this busy. That's what you get for procrastinating, though...

"Mmn, alright then," he looks at you with a curious expression on his face, before it's overtaken by his signature sly smirk. There's something else he wants to say but he's holding back. You're too quick out the door to find out what it is.

You'll need to stop by the market. Dried plants and teas need restocking so you'll have to hit a few different stalls, and you should get something for Asra too, he seemed out of it this morning.

After you've picked out a small sackful of rosemary sprigs you feel around in your bag for coins and realize you've forgotten your wallet.

You apologize to the vendor and dash home, searching for your coin pouch.

"Asra, have you seen–" you're taken aback by the sight of him having a mug of tea with the countess.

"–my coin pouch," you finish.

"Can't say I have," he looks away, letting out a huff as if he was expecting you to say something else.

Nadia smiles pleasantly at you. You would stay to chat but you're really in a hurry and run right back out.

You were so sure it was in your bag...

Just to be sure, you reach in to check again. Lo and behold, it's right there where you left it this morning.

Irritation washes over you.

Alright, then. You head back to the market to buy something, but you find your coin pouch has been completely emptied.

Back home. Back out.

You're running now, trying to get all the places you need to go on time. It's rush hour at the market now, so you'd better head somewhere else before it dies down. There's a lump of something wrapped in linen you need to deliver to Selasi.

You sprint as hard as you can before basically crashing into the baker, who is standing outside holding a sack of flour.

"MC! Have you brought me that basil resin?" He asks, glancing at your bag.

"Matter of fact, I have," you open your bag and pull out–

–nothing. It's gone.

You drop the bag to the ground and start rummaging profusely. It's in there. You know it's in there.

"Ah, if you don't have it some other time is okay too, yeah?" The baker shifts the flour in their arms.

"...yeah," you agree.

It's already mid afternoon and you've somehow managed to get absolutely nothing done. By the time you're back to the shop, Muriel is sitting on the ground next to Asra, who is shuffling a deck of cards in his hands (you can see the aces up his sleeves, you think Muriel can too). Asra sure has a lot of visitors today...

"Where have you put that lump of resin for Selasi?" You wonder, throwing open the cabinets.

Asra looks a little concerned.

"You... Packed that this morning, MC. Are you feeling alright?" His brows furrow in that innocent, worried sort of way.

You nod, turning to leave when you feel his hand close around your wrist.

"Faust. Have you seen Faust?" He's a little more tense than usual...

You explain to him that you haven't, and walk away.

Back outside yet again. You're not running anymore, there doesn't seem to be any point. It's raining a little now, you think that summarizes your mood pretty well. All that stuff you wanted to do today, and you couldn't do anything; you feel a little useless. You're scared you'll start crying when you feel a comforting squeeze on your left arm.

Asra! Faust slithers up your arm and curls around your shoulders.

"...Asra." You repeat, not thinking much of it.

Asra!!!!

"Faust, what's wrong?" You glance at her little face looking expectantly up at you.

Need to go back

You stop walking, rain pouring over your face. Then you see Faust drop a bundle of resin on the wet pavement.

Suddenly, you think of your missing things.

"Faust! Have you been taking my things all day?" Why would she do anything like that?

Birthday!!!!!!!!!

What?

No.

Oh shit.

It completely slipped your mind.

It's Asra's birthday. Faust's too. You look at Faust in complete shock as you realize: Faust has been trying to get you home with Asra all day. That explains all the visitors, all the missing things, it explains everything.

You hug her the best you can hug a snake and you get back to running. For a different reason this time, though. You're going to need a gift and one hell of an apology.

---

The bedroom door creaks open, there are no more visitors, and the curtains are closed. Asra is underneath a blanket, curled up with an entire pint of ice cream (mood).

"Asra?" You place the gift you bought for him aside, feeling guilt hit you like a train.

You shed your soaked outer layer of clothing and sidle under the blanket next to him, faust in your arms.

"MC! Where have you been all day?" Asra exclaimed, reaching out to take Faust.

You start rambling about how truly deeply intensely sorry you are, and how you forgot completely, and how you were so busy.

He sighs, trying to show his exasperation. The way he's latched onto your waist undermines the affect, though.

You sit like that for a while before he breaks the silence.

"I just wanted you to come home, silly," Asra mumbles into your hair.

"I don't suppose you'll want to see what I've got you, then?"

His eyes dart curiously over to what you've presented to him. You pull it up onto the bed, watching him open the box. Out comes a hunk of cake, a bundle of belladonna blooms, and a silver bangle made up of intertwining wires wrapped around gems.

"Thank you," he mutters, shutting his eyes and burying it in the side of your neck.

Asra grins.

"Don't suppose this means you'll get the dishes after we have dinner with my parents too?"

[akwolfgrl]

How sweet it is to be loved by them 15

The kitchen smelled wonderful, there was chicken roasting in the oven, and Zoro had used Sanji's Special Roast Chicken seasoning. Zeff had practically beat cooking into his thick skull during the time he spent the time learning how to be an alpha. Not all the lessons were stuck, but he felt he was a pretty damn good alpha.

He took a seat across from Sanji, Luffy was cuddled up next to him and a blanket was thrown over both of them.

“Five eggs should do since there is chicken. Will that be enough for you, Luffy? Three servings of pasta and chicken?” Sanji asked the other alpha while Zoro made a hole in the flour pile and started cracking eggs.

“Sure! Maybe! Nope!” Luffy broke out into a fit of giggles, his pupils blown wide. He was acting a little loopy, drunk on Sanji scent. He remembered his first time, Luffy was handling it better than he did.

“Five will do just fine, Zoro,” Sanji patted Luffy's head, his hat next to him.

“All right,” Zoro began to stir until the eggs were bubbly. He began to add the flour in until it was all mixed, and he began his favorite part, the kneading. It was a great workout using his muscles in a way that he couldn't get from lifting weights. Sanji let him do all the dough, kneading for pasta and bread. He could hear the sound of Sanji's soothing purr as Luffy cuddled him. “Where's the rolling pin again?”

“Left drawer next to the stove, the cutter is in that drawer as well,” Sanji waved in the direction of the stove. “I'm still not satisfied with it there,”

“You'll figure out the best layout eventually,” Zoro reassured him after grabbing the tools and getting to work. “I mean, it hasn't been long since we had it. It's been about a month since our honeymoon?” Zoro rolled out the pasta dough before cutting it with the little tool.

“Yeah, a month sounds right,”

Zoro got to work cutting garlic, shallots, tomatoes, and peppers. Sanji's favorite food was spicy seafood pasta, which covered a lot of things.

“Throw in another pepper, Marimo,” Sanji ordered.

“Spicy!” Luffy giggled again before nuzzling Sanji, who patted him on the head.

“He's reacting better than you did,” the blond snarked.

“Shut up, it wasn't that bad,” Zoro grumbled as he stood to start dinner. The clams had been washed already, and Curls had taken care of that step.

It didn't take long for Zoro to finish the meal, he just loaded a huge plate for everyone to share, he took the chicken out the oven, placed it on a different large plate, and grabbed a bottle of sake.

“Dig in,” He placed the food on the table and pulled the cork out of the bottle with his teeth, and took a swig.

“Moss you're forgetting a few things,”

“Like what?”

“Oh, I don't know, maybe silverware and a carving knife! Fuck, not everything is eaten with just our hands,” Sanji snarked at him.

“Shit, knew I was forgetting something,” Zoro got up to grab it when he watched Luffy drag the chicken closer to him.

“Don't need it!” Luffy rips off a leg and sticks the whole thing in his mouth. “Itsh goood!”

“Well, we still need forks for the pasta at least,”

“Yeah yeah, I'm getting them,” Zoro grabbed two forks and a pair of chopsticks. He handed the silverware off and dug in. It was good, but Sanjis would have been better. There was something off.

“Hmm, needs a bit of salt,”

“I added some in,” Zoro shrugged as he passed the table salt over for Sanji to fix the dish.

“Did you salt the pasta water?” Sanji asked as he added salt to the food.

“Fuck forgot to,”

“It's fine, I appreciate you making my favorite.”

[brandogenius]

hi beautiful! I was wondering if you could write something about Naomi and reader baking cookies and being a disaster in the kitchen together.

thank you so much! 💓

I love how you write (⁠人⁠*⁠´⁠∀⁠｀⁠)⁠｡⁠*ﾟ⁠+

hi baby!!! i can absolutely! of course :D tysm!!!

‼️RPF‼️

BLURB - naomi x reader - baking (short)

- baking with naomi is like you know those videos on tiktok ‘cooking with beagles’ yeah…

- it was going so well at the start but then naomi starts to throw flour at reader grinning like a little shit until it results in a small food fight in the kitchen. ending up with flour all over your apron and clothes and hair. naomi’s hair is literally white from flour and all you can do is laugh cus payback

- “let me ice them” “no.” “whyyy?” “because you’d probably throw icing at me” “oh come on”

- supervising naomi ice the cookies until they earn your trust to leave them alone for one second to find they somehow got icing all over the counter and on their face

- both of you sitting in front of the oven watching the cookies bake in the oven. sitting crisscrocs on pillows on the ground. “this is fun” “it’s like sensory baby videos but cooking edition”

- “you know you gotta help me clean this shit up?” naomi trying to dip but you’re like absolutely not get the fuck back here

- say it’s gingerbread men. having a competition to see who can make the best gingerbread man that actually looks good 😭

- “how many minutes on the timer?” “i don’t know” “….did you set a timer?” “dude i thought you did” “no i didn’t” “fuck”

- fire alarm went off weewooweewoo because SOMEONE FORGOT TO SET A TIMER i wonder who .

- some cookies were on tho.. some- inedible but i guess that’s fine because at least there’s 4 that are 😭

- “i think we did a good job today!” and you look around the kitchen to the smell of smoke, flour everywhere, cookie cutters on the ground. icing on the walls. “are you sure about that”

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Did you drop the pretzel recipe?

oh sorry I got you

INGREDIENCE

1 tbsp salt

1 tbsp sugar

1 packet active dry yeast

4 1/2 cups flour

2 tbsp cooking oil

2/3 cup baking soda

2 eggs

coarse salt

what you do with that shit

mix salt and sugar with a cup and 1/2 warm water in a LARGE mixing bowl. add your yeast; let sit 5-10 minutes to get foamy.

add flour and oil, mix thoroughly.

take the dough out of the bowl. coat bowl in another tbsp or so of oil and replace the dough. cover with towel or plastic wrap and leave to sit for (bare minimum) 1 hour. ideally somewhere warm, but definitely not somewhere cold.

after your hour is up, separate dough into fourths. split each fourth and then split them again for 16 small soft pretzels total. you can work with bigger dough balls than that if you want but for me personally it's a pain in the ass so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

anyway twist those little baddies into pretzel shapes. I cannot begin to explain to you how much of a struggle I had with this part but you'll probably be fine, I'm just extremely bad at tasks that require spatial awareness of any kind

this is probably a good time to start preheating your oven to 450 degrees F (232 C).

anyway once you've got all your little boys twisted up ready to go, add baking soda to a pot of water and bring to a boil. boil each pretzel 30 seconds on each side, for a minute total. you're going to want paper towels under them after they come out, because they're going to be wet (duh) and make a MESS.

beat those eggs in a bowl

place pretzels on a baking sheet (I recommend using parchment paper, but I recommend that for everything, so ymmv) and brush with eggs + sprinkle with salt. I forgot to put the salt on mine beforehand and had to sprinkle it on after, and let me tell you it does NOT hit the same.

bake 10 minutes; probably a little longer if you make the bigger boys.

xoxo

[themosthatedbeingmoving]

Charlie's dad's room at the hotel was right across the hall from her own. As she carried this masterpiece of an apple pie she and Alastor had created, she ran into Vaggie along the way.

After a short conversation, which Vaggie found very amusing due to Charlie's flour covered appearance and clear intoxication, Vaggie gave Charlie a kiss on the cheek, telling her to be sure to clean up before getting into bed and the two parted ways.

Charlie stood at her dad's door and knocked on it, happily holding this delicious pie while covered in flour nearly head to toe with the exception of the kiss mark on one of her red circle cheeks.

"Daaaaaad~!" she sang out. "I have something for you!"

Sometimes he forgot he wasn’t in his old palace, this was evident by the way he turned in his sleep and growled to a non existent servent to get the damn door cause really who is knocking at this hour?! He’s gonna set them on fire—-

He sat up when he heard Charlie’s voice wait was Charlie doing here—oh shit right he was at the hotel!

Quickly Getting up and changing from the soft feathered sleeping robe to a silk red and black pajama set with little duckies all over them he all but sprinted to the door .

“Char char—- oh ..” he took in her appearance and bit his lip to hold in his laughter.. oh dear his Charlie looked waaay to cute right now! He eyed the little kiss mark on her cheek and once again felt a warmth in his chest that his amazing daughter was able to find love in this place.

“.. hello my dear it seems you’ve gotten the kitchen mixed up with the bar?” He stepped aside to let her in.

@letsstaytuned

[miaroseindreamland]

You make a mess

Felix reaction

Fluffy ❤️

---

You were helping Felix to make some sweets for the boys. The kitchen was a mess, but you both worked around it to prepare the delicious sweets. If Kim Seugmin saw the kitchen in that state, he would kill both of you.

"Thank you for coming here to help me," Felix said as he preheated the oven.

"Always, baby." You stole a kiss as he smiled.

"It was a good choice to call you," he chuckled against your lips as you smiled and moved away. "Are you sure you can't come?"

"I can't, baby. I have that online class that I told you about." You looked for the flour.

"Ah, I forgot about it. Flour?" You pointed to the upper shelf as you tried to reach for it. "Wait, I will—"

"No, I can reach it."

"Y/n, you could hurt yourself," he said, reaching for your side, but you finally grabbed the flour, only for it to fall on Felix's head.

"Shit!" He was covered in white as you covered your mouth in surprise. At the same time, a plastic cup fell on his head, and he grabbed his head in pain.

"Baby!" You yelled, unsure whether to laugh or not. "I'm sorry!"

"Are you laughing?!" He asked, a little upset.

"I'm sorry, but it's just too funny. You're covered in flour," you said, suppressing laughter.

"Yes, because of you!" You laughed a little more and passed him a tissue as he cleaned his face and pouted.

"I'll tell you what. I'll clean all of this," you said, and he smiled. "Oh my god, Felix, it's in your mouth."

"I'm going to take a bath," he said as you ran after him, chuckling. "Alone!"

"Baby!"

[pure-vanilla-lilies]

continuing on the topic of de/wl in fresh dough, quote time!

GingerBrave: Who the hell are you?

Dark Enchantress: Fan service.

Dark Enchantress: OH, VANILLA!~

Pure Vanilla: WHY ARE YOU BACK?!

Dark Enchantress: Because I can be.

Dark Choco: FIGHT ME, MOTHERFUCKER!

Dark Enchantress: Chocolate chip child.

Dark Enchantress, staring at a massive hole in one of her wings as the airship she's on is about to blow up: Oh this is gonna hurt, isn't it?

Mystic Flour: Hey, so, you owe me shit.

Dark Enchantress: NO.

Dark Cacao: Get off my property!

Dark Enchantress: No.

Dark Cacao: I'm giving you the count of 3, maroon 5!

Dark Enchantress: THE BAND????

Dark Cacao: I-I'M GETTIN OLD, WHAT??

Dark Enchantress: Die.

Dark Cacao: NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

Dark Enchantress: You fucked up, little one!

Dark Choco: *choking sounds*

Dark Enchantress: YEET!

Dark Choco: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

Shadow Milk: Greetings again, adopted child!

GingerBrave: FAMOUS CELEBRITY!

Shadow Milk: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

GingerBrave: Why you helping the bitch?

Dark Enchantress: I have major trust issues.

GingerBrave: Fair enough.

Dark Enchantress: Let me take my son.

Dark Choco: NO.

Dark Enchantress: *inhales in bitch* Okay.

Dark Enchantress, fighting with a possessed Pure Vanilla: Taste the rainbow motherfucker!

Dark Enchantress, holding Cloud Haetae: GingerBrave you have an adopted sibling!

GingerBrave: Awh really?!

Dark Enchantress: Temporarily-

*speaking at the same time*

Pure Vanilla: SHE'S FUCKING DEAD TO ME

Dark Enchantress: HE'S FUCKING DEAD TO ME

GingerBrave: -._-.

Dark Enchantress: Boy kids! It looks like something's very wrong here! Can YOU tell me what it is?

Dark Enchantress: Oh yeah!

Dark Enchantress: THESE RINGS ARE FAKE.

Pure Vanilla: If you go over there, and you touch him, I AM GOING TO-

Dark Enchantress: Huh? Huh? Whatcha gonna do?

Dark Enchantress: Whatcha gonna do, huh?

Dark Enchantress: You're stuck.

Dark Enchantress: You're just gonna traumatize your kids more, there's nothing you can do.

Dark Enchantress: BITCH.

Red Velvet: Now I know how Enchantress feels.

GingerBrave: Who the fuck is Enchantress?

Dark Enchantress: VANILLA YOU FUCKING BITCH!

Red Velvet: Wow, he hates her so much that he actually brainwashed you into forgetting about them.

GingerBrave: Oh no, no, no, no I never forgot about her, it was just a joke.

Dark Enchantress: OH THANK GOD

Dark Enchantress: I'm getting that fucking ring.

Stormbringer: The gay ring? HA! You know what that means!

Dark Enchantress: SHUT THE FUCK UP I WAS GAY TO BEGIN WITH!

Stormbringer: I don't give a shit I like fuckin' around with you!

Dark Enchantress: I will throw your Nezha looking ass down a FUCKING stream when I get BACK THERE!

Wizard: I will NOT be manipulated by some Hot Topic motherfucker!

Dark Enchantress: Yeah, I THINK THE FUCK NOT!

Wizard: WHY?!

Dark Enchantress: Oh hell nah, I KNOW he DID NOT just hit my son.

Dark Enchantress: Sorry kid, OFF TO AMPHIBIA.

GingerGrave: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

Shadow Milk: What can I say? I'm a theatre major!

Dark Enchantress: See, I'm gonna need you to let him go, since I'm the only one allowed to torture him.

Dark Enchantress: And I'm kind of a full-time mother now, so, do us the brightest favor, and fuck off.

GingerBrave: Uh, y-yeah, f-fuck off, you stupid bitch-

Pure Vanilla and Dark Enchantress is like those divorce parents at a birthday party 😭

[iicheeze]

3 MONTHS, 3 DAYS, AND 33 MINUTES

3 Months, 3 Days, and 33 Minutes Masterlist

SUMMARY II you've always had feelings for your gray haired senior. To the point that you'd confess to the man in front of the whole Akademiya. Pitying you, he gives you 3 months, 3 days and 33 minutes to make him fall for you. Let the roller coaster of chaos begin!

PAIRINGS || Alhaitham x Gender Neutral Reader, slight Kaveh x reader

TAGLIST || @star-star-fall-inlove @nachotrash @baelloraa @tanspostsblog @kalpie @makimakimi @nishayuro @zomzomb1e @sassy-cat-in-town @aloveablechaos @ceylestia @severedvigility @goubaia @6-022-10-23 @duhsies @suwnshine @xiaos-wife1 @kysrion @kunikuzushisbeloved @mariposa666haruka @sunsinrinn @milkm4nz @klementime @beesgobuzzbuzz @perhapseven7eggs @fluffyxcloudz @orionicchaos @1-800asimpforfugo

BOLD MEANS I CAN'T TAG YOU, IF THERE'S A CHANGE IN UR USERNAME, PLEASE TELL ME!!

TW || idiot tries to cook for the first time in their life, skin burns, ugly pie, cussing, Yeo's unfunny jokes.

CHAPTER III — how to cook for dummies

“ I heard the fastest way to someone's heart is by cooking them a good meal! ” Xiangling suggested.

“ Or just by surgery. ” Shenhe replied back.

“ I DON'T WANT THAT GUY'S HEART WHAT THE FUCK, SHENHE. ”

“ Well, Xiangling does have a good idea.. ” [Name] mumbled to themselves, “ But... I have something to confess to you guys.. ” The two girls bopped their head in confusion.

“ I have never once touched a pan in my life. ”

...

“ Well.. It's okay! I can teach you how to cook! ” “ You're doomed, [Name]. ” “ Please shut up, Shenhe. I know damn well I'm doomed. ”

“ Plus, it's fine, Xiangling! You're busy with your own restaurant AND studies. I can teach myself how to cook. TeyvatTube exists for a reason! ” [Name] sweat dropped, not trying to bother Xiangling.

“ Awwh, alright then. Best of luck to you!! Oh, and, if you want to cook some exotic new recipes, come to me! I'm sure Alhaitham would love them! ” “ Yeah, uhh, I'll pass on that- Thanks for the offer! ”

The blue haired girl then left the almost-empty lecture hall, leaving you and Shenhe alone.

“ ... ” “ ... ”

“ Don't ask me to cook for you. I'm not that good of a cook myself. ” The [taller/shorter] woman stood up, before following Xiangling out of the lecture hall.

“ SHENHE. YOU LITERALLY MAJOR AT COOKING. ”

Apples, apple cider vinegar, sugar, flour, vanilla extract, all-butter crust, brandy, cinnamon, allspice, nutmeg, an egg..

And a clueless [Name].

They were searching up on Giigle on cookings for beginners and decided to make Apple Pie.

Looked up the recipe, bought the ingredients, put on an apron, and quietly, the [Hair Color] thought.

This shouldn't be too hard!

Stupid bitch.

Look at them now, the pie that's supposed to look good is as black as your dad's ball sack AND their hand is burnt because they forgot to use a glove when opening to oven.

Along with a confused Kokomi at the door of her side of the dorm room. Wondering why the hell is there screaming and oven dings.

“ KOKOMI HELP UEEHSUEHEHSHEU ” [Name] sniffed, snot and tears seen at their pathetic looking face.

“ OH MY GOD, [NAME]. WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO?? ” “ I - I WAS JUST TRYING TO- COOK UP AN APPLE PIE FOR ALHAITHAM BUT IT'S SO HA- HARD. ” hiccups and snots were making it hard for the now-pathetic person to speak, making them look even more pathetic.

“ OH MY GOD, [NAME]. CLEAN YOURSELF UP, I'LL CLEAN THE KITCHEN. AND WE'LL TRY AGAIN TOGETHER, OKAY?? ” “ O - OKAY ” Kokomi put both her hands on her roommates shoulders, trying to calm them down.

You can't have shit in Teyvat Akademiya 😒

“ Here! ”

“ ... What is this? ” Alhaitham asked, questioning the lunch box wrapped with a [Favorite Color], polka dot patterned cloth.

“ It's an apple pie! I heard from Kaveh that you don't like soup so.. yeah! ” [Name] scratched their cheek, nervous. “ It took me hours and Kokomi's help with this because I've never once touched the kitchen in my life so you better appreciate every last bite!! ”

Looking at the lunch box, [Name]'s face, the lunch box again, and [Name]'s face again. Before finally noticing the bandages wrapped at the person's hand.

“ Alright then. ” The man finally took the lunch box from the [Hair Color]'s hand. Confused as to why they won't leave.

“ I wanna watch you eat it! I didn't taste test it for myself, so I want to see your reaction. ” [Name] stated.

I'm so dead.

Taking a slice from the pie, the man couldn't help but shiver a bit. Finally taking a bite. It's taste is surprisingly..

Good?

But of course, his surprise wasn't shown through his face.

“ Well? What do you think? Is it good? ” [Name] asked, curious yet nervous at the same time.

“ It's.. Tolerable, to say the least. ” Alhaitham answered, “ SO- It's good?? YES! ” [Name] whisperer the last part.

“ Okay! From now on, I'll cook for you!! And you better appreciate it, okay?! Because I WILL work hard for each and every one of those! ” The [Hair Color] stated gleefully.

“ Oh, shit! I gotta go. My lecture's gonna start soon!! See you, Haitham! And you better finish those! ” [Name] waved the male goodbye before leaving him alone with the lunchbox, along with his thoughts.

...

Taking another bite while opening his book, he thought.

Maybe, they're not so bad after all.

AUTHOR'S NOTE || this was a true story abt me trying to make apple pie except I made it for no one 🧍‍♀️

cuz i dont need no man cheering me up 💪😘🌟

[did-sm1-say-catfish]

s1 ep18

this is the flour baby episode!! i loved it lol. here are my thoughtssss

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I FOrGOT HOW terrrriiible valerie is at fighting. its like she has the ikea parts, but no instructione

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BRO CAN DONUT HIMSELF ahjkdjshjka

(i stopped writing after this to take a well deserved nap. I am back now.)

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family photo!!! family bonding!! dad danny. he looks like if a twink was handed a baby but hated kids. 

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babysitting tucker aWwww

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also who is the mommy??

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PLEASE DANNY IM BEGGING YOU PLEASE DODGE ITS NOT THAt HARD TO NOT STARE BLANKLY AT THE MISSILE HEADED FOR YOUR FACE FOR A SOLID SECOND

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OHHhh valerie is the mommy. 

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tucker: oh my sweet little angel my dearest little darling my babbyyyyy

sam: mf its flour. 

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weird robot thing… tahts gonna be important later. how do i know? my spidey senses are tingling, thats how. 

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Danny casually revealing that he knows top secret info abt valerie 

Valerie: how tf do you know that

danny: it doesnt matter you lazy slacker. TAKE CARE OF OUR CHILD

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omg wait hold on whats his name. uhmmmm green mohawk dude!!! yeah!! him not knowing human traditions is so funny. I need a fanfic of this. imagine he possesses dannys/a students body and goes through school with no clye about human traduitions like 

“what is this machine that spews water? why are kids kissing it?”

“what is this ‘mood chart’? and how am i supposed to gauge my own?”

“What is the mitochondria?? and why do people keep saying that i should know hwat it is? this bee-oh class is ridiculous. what in the unholy heck is a chloroplast?”

ohhh his name is skulker. nice. 

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danny: this is not what it looks like, it all a trick by a ghost named- HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK ARE THOSE GUNS IM TOAST

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wait so, the setting colors go inverted when danny is ghost, right? and he is him but inverted when ghost (lab suit, too), does this mean he sees inverted when ghost? also i havent seen the origin ep yet. which one is it? there was only one episode i wasnt able to watch on this shady ass website im using. 

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valerie: my ecto-grenade-launcher!! lets go!! its so cool that i happened to find it lying on the floor, how convenient. 

danny: no!!! it might be-

*rockets come launching at them* 

danny: aww shit, here we go again. 

(that really is his memephrase. like a catchphrase, but a meme)

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not tucker becoming a capitalist. they teach em young, dont they?

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the fact that sam just has a wig thats a replica of her own hair laying around-

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“Greetings, panicking youngsters” he sounds like he’s tryna be hip n cool

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tucker and sam kissed? twas fine, twas just parent roleplay. not important, but felt worthy of a note. not noteworthy. very clear difference. ALSO-

Tucker, leaving sam with their child: gotta run, bye bye!!!

sam: dont forget milk!!

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skulker, holding the flour baby like a maniac: why does this thing matter?

valerie: its not about it in itself, its about how you treat it!!

Danny: yeah, and youre a terrible mother. 

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if the key remotely disconnects the handcuffs,what doe sit need the blade for? its impractical, and not including it in the design would make it harder for danny to figure out which remote is the one that could unlock the handcuffs! only possible conclusion is that skulker keeps forgetting which remote is which, so he needs to make them extremely distinct from one another. 

UNLESS THERES A GHOST PRODUCTS MANUFACTURER 

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THE ROBOT THING IS HERS(valerie)?? BAHSBh MY SPIDEY SENSES WERE RIGHT!!!