#OH ALSO it takes place in maine. in a fictional town that i still need to finalize a name for 👍

[lighthouseas]

bee i am absolutely FASCINATED by ur 1895 gay siren story btw <3333

HI LIZA oh my goodness you have no idea how wide i smiled after getting this ask <3333 as a treat, i shall spill the beans on What It Is About Sort Of (<- girl who has written 1 scene. of the entire story. and doesn't even have a coherent plot)

-okay so basically. weird strange fishing family (the windells) children find a little girl washed up on a beach and they think she's dead but surprise! She Isn't. she is in fact a very powerful siren and they don't realize this until later because she can take on a human form. and they've already taken her in. so. whoops!

-while henry windell (literal embodiment of the autism creature) is a main character, he's one of a few; the first character to be Conceptualized for this world was mira windell, who marries into the windell family at the start of the story. she's very smart and also very weirded out because these children are very creepy and under socialized and she keeps waking up to weird noises (siren girl who henry and his siblings are hiding) and eventually she finds out about everything somehow. details TBA

-mira is honestly more of a sisterly figure to henry, since she's not too much older than him. she's not there to replace his mother, who died when henry was 10. I Think

-siren girl's name is pearl and she is VERY POWERFUL got some lore going on there and she is powerful for Reasons which i still need to figure out

-oh and henry is gay but doesn't realize it until he meets this silly goofy kid named jack and they're kinda rivals to lovers esque because henry is so under socialized and therefore Very Weird And Offputting

[taterturnspages]

ALL RHODES LEAD HERE BOOK REVIEW

Genre(s): Fiction, Contemporary, Romance

TW: loss of parent/grief

STAR RATING: 5/5

SPICE RATING: 3/5

SYNOPSIS:

Aurora De La Torre knows moving back to a place that was once home isn’t going to be easy.

Starting your whole life over probably isn’t supposed to be.

But a small town in the mountains might be the perfect remedy for a broken heart.

Checking out her landlord across the driveway just might cure it too.

READ THIS IF YOU:

Have a soft spot for big, grumpy, blue-collar men

Enjoy nature and spending time outdoors

Need a lil found family trope goodness

Enjoy plot-driven romances (but don’t worry, this is still very character driven also)

CHARACTERS:

Aurora De La Torre:

I always love when characters in books have depth and their past is discussed in a way that gives us (the readers) an understanding as to what led them to present day. Aurora had JUST that. She had struggles from her past that she was fleeing from (rightfully) and just wanted to start over at the only place she knew as home. She had goals while still not entirely sure what her future held, which I think is relatable for most people. I know the whole “finding themselves” trope gets a little cliché, but I think Mariana Zapata wrote this flawlessly in Aurora.

Aurora is perseverant and determined to claim what is rightfully hers throughout this entire novel, even if it’s not easy. Tough hike? Tough SHIT, she’s set on getting through it. Coincidentally, I think this is her biggest strength and biggest weakness. Throughout the novel, Aurora often desperately needs help but refuses it as a way to build her character, even if she’s miserable; which, to me, is the tell-tale sign of a strong female main character and I eat that shit up every. single. time. But don’t be fooled, when Aurora is offered help or assistance, she takes it with gratitude.

Aurora is troubled in several different ways from her past, but none of those things inhibit her ability to be a decent person. She’s not spiteful to the universe (although she has every right to be) and she treats everyone with respect as long as respect is given to her. I think she is the absolute model blueprint for my favorite type of FMC.

Tobias Rhodes:

I’d say “don’t even get me started on Rhodes”, but please, get me started on Rhodes. THIS MAN????? Perfection. Absolute unfettered perfection. Tobias Rhodes, too, has a past and it creates so much depth in his character. Seeing how he acts and why is so important for me in a grumpy x sunshine romance because otherwise the MMC comes off as just being irritated at everyone and everything purely because he’s allowed to.

Rhodes tends to keep people at a distance until he becomes comfortable due in part because he is protective over his son. Watching him unfold throughout this book was probably my favorite aspect because he was the gift that kept on giving. Every time him and Aurora interacted there was just a small glimmer of something new in his words and actions each time. You just can’t help but fall in love with him yourself once he starts showing his sense of humor, selflessness, and empathy.

If your love language is acts of service, then OH BOY are you in major luck with this book. Rhodes shares his love in multifaceted ways, but acts of service is his BREAD AND BUTTER YA’LL. You won’t be disappointed.

PRAISES, CRITIQUES, AND MY THOUGHTS:

I really, truly, HONESTLY have nothing bad to say about this book. I grappled for hours before sitting down to write this review for something even slightly bad about this book and I just couldn’t think of anything.

Mariana Zapata has been crowned the queen of slow-burn romances, and after reading this book (my first of hers) I can attest that she was crowned appropriately. This book is pretty lengthy at a whopping 559 pages, but I was never bored while reading this. If things weren’t actively happening, then things were being built up for something to happen soon. It really is a gift for an author to be able to write 559 pages of words that don’t bore the reader.

There was banter, yearning, and tension (SO MUCH TENSION!!!). The characters meshed together flawlessly and confirmed for Aurora that she made the right decision returning to Pagosa Springs. After being chewed up and spit out by her ex-husband’s family, she deserved to be surrounded by a group of people that cared about her and I am so over the moon that she got exactly what she deserved. Found family tropes in books will never cease to make me smile.

This book was recommended to be from a post that I made about wanting romance book recs with an MMC that resembled Luke Danes from Gilmore Girls. Luke Danes and Tobias Rhodes are two pieces cut from the same fabric so if you’re a Luke Danes stan then just know ‘All Rhodes Lead Here’ will not disappoint you.

I can always tell that a book was a five-star read for me when I find myself instantly thinking about how no book could ever compare to it. I think I’m going to be looking for Tobias Rhodes in every romance book I read in the future and that should speak for itself.

READ THIS BOOK IF YOU KNOW WHAT’S GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!

[niseamstories]

10 Lessons on Realistic Worldbuilding and Mapmaking I Learned Working With a Professional Cartographer and Geodesist

Hi, fellow writers and worldbuilders,

It’s been over a year since my post on realistic swordfighting, and I figured it’s time for another one. I’m guessing the topic is a little less “sexy”, but I’d find this useful as a writer, so here goes: 10 things I learned about realistic worldbuilding and mapmaking while writing my novel.

I’ve always been a sucker for pretty maps, so when I started on my novel, I hired an artist quite early to create a map for me. It was beautiful, but a few things always bothered me, even though I couldn’t put a finger on it. A year later, I met an old friend of mine, who currently does his Ph.D. in cartography and geodesy, the science of measuring the earth. When the conversation shifted to the novel, I showed him the map and asked for his opinion, and he (respectfully) pointed out that it has an awful lot of issues from a realism perspective.

First off, I’m aware that fiction is fiction, and it’s not always about realism; there are plenty of beautiful maps out there (and my old one was one of them) that are a bit fantastical and unrealistic, and that’s all right. Still, considering the lengths I went to ensure realism for other aspects of my worldbuilding, it felt weird to me to simply ignore these discrepancies. With a heavy heart, I scrapped the old map and started over, this time working in tandem with a professional artist, my cartographer friend, and a linguist. Six months later, I’m not only very happy with the new map, but I also learned a lot of things about geography and coherent worldbuilding, which made my universe a lot more realistic.

1)  Realism Has an Effect: While there’s absolutely nothing wrong with creating an unrealistic world, realism does affect the plausibility of a world. Even if the vast majority of us probably know little about geography, our brains subconsciously notice discrepancies; we simply get this sense that something isn’t quite right, even if we don’t notice or can’t put our finger on it. In other words, if, for some miraculous reason, an evergreen forest borders on a desert in your novel, it will probably help immersion if you at least explain why this is, no matter how simple.

2)  Climate Zones: According to my friend, a cardinal sin in fantasy maps are nonsensical climate zones. A single continent contains hot deserts, forests, and glaciers, and you can get through it all in a single day. This is particularly noticeable in video games, where this is often done to offer visual variety (Enderal, the game I wrote, is very guilty of this). If you aim for realism, run your worldbuilding by someone with a basic grasp of geography and geology, or at least try to match it to real-life examples.

3)  Avoid Island Continent Worlds: Another issue that is quite common in fictional worlds is what I would call the “island continents”: a world that is made up of island-like continents surrounded by vast bodies of water. As lovely and romantic as the idea of those distant and secluded worlds may be, it’s deeply unrealistic. Unless your world was shaped by geological forces that differ substantially from Earth’s, it was probably at one point a single landmass that split up into fragmented landmasses separated by waters. Take a look at a proper map of our world: the vast majority of continents could theoretically be reached by foot and relatively manageable sea passages. If it weren’t so, countries such as Australia could have never been colonized – you can’t cross an entire ocean on a raft.

4)  Logical City Placement: My novel is set in a Polynesian-inspired tropical archipelago; in the early drafts of the book and on my first map, Uunili, the nation’s capital, stretched along the entire western coast of the main island. This is absurd. Not only because this city would have been laughably big, but also because building a settlement along an unprotected coastline is the dumbest thing you could do considering it directly exposes it to storms, floods, and, in my case, monsoons. Unless there’s a logical reason to do otherwise, always place your coastal settlements in bays or fjords.

 Naturally, this extends to city placement in general. If you want realism and coherence, don’t place a city in the middle of a godforsaken wasteland or a swamp just because it’s cool. There needs to be a reason. For example, the wasteland city could have started out as a mining town around a vast mineral deposit, and the swamp town might have a trading post along a vital trade route connecting two nations.

 5)  Realistic Settlement Sizes: As I’ve mentioned before, my capital Uunili originally extended across the entire western coast. Considering Uunili is roughly two thirds the size of Hawaii  the old visuals would have made it twice the size of Mexico City. An easy way to avoid this is to draw the map using a scale and stick to it religiously. For my map, we decided to represent cities and townships with symbols alone.

 6)  Realistic Megacities: Uunili has a population of about 450,000 people. For a city in a Middle Ages-inspired era, this is humongous. While this isn’t an issue, per se (at its height, ancient Alexandria had a population of about 300,000), a city of that size creates its own set of challenges: you’ll need a complex sewage system (to minimize disease spreading like wildfire) and strong agriculture in the surrounding areas to keep the population fed. Also, only a small part of such a megacity would be enclosed within fantasy’s ever-so-present colossal city walls; the majority of citizens would probably concentrate in an enormous urban sprawl in the surrounding areas. To give you a pointer, with a population of about 50,000, Cologne was Germany’s biggest metropolis for most of the Middle Ages. I’ll say it again: it’s fine to disregard realism for coolness in this case, but at least taking these things into consideration will not only give your world more texture but might even provide you with some interesting plot points.

 7)  World Origin: This point can be summed up in a single question: why is your world the way it is? If your novel is set in an archipelago like mine is, are the islands of volcanic origin? Did they use to be a single landmass that got flooded with the years? Do the inhabitants of your country know about this? Were there any natural disasters to speak of? Yes, not all of this may be relevant to the story, and the story should take priority over lore, but just like with my previous point, it will make your world more immersive.

 8)  Maps: Think Purpose! Every map in history had a purpose. Before you start on your map, think about what yours might have been. Was it a map people actually used for navigation? If so, clarity should be paramount. This means little to no distracting ornamentation, a legible font, and a strict focus on relevant information. For example, a map used chiefly for military purposes would naturally highlight different information than a trade map. For my novel, we ultimately decided on a “show-off map” drawn for the Blue Island Coalition, a powerful political entity in the archipelago (depending on your world’s technology level, maps were actually scarce and valuable). Also, think about which technique your in-universe cartographer used to draw your in-universe map. Has copperplate engraving already been invented in your fictional universe? If not, your map shouldn’t use that aesthetic.

9)  Maps: Less Is More. If a spot or an area on a map contains no relevant information, it can (and should) stay blank so that the reader’s attention naturally shifts to the critical information. Think of it this way: if your nav system tells you to follow a highway for 500 miles, that’s the information you’ll get, and not “in 100 meters, you’ll drive past a little petrol station on the left, and, oh, did I tell you about that accident that took place here ten years ago?” Traditional maps follow the same principle: if there’s a road leading a two day’s march through a desolate desert, a black line over a blank white ground is entirely sufficient to convey that information.

10) Settlement and Landmark Names: This point will be a bit of a tangent, but it’s still relevant. I worked with a linguist to create a fully functional language for my novel, and one of the things he criticized about my early drafts were the names of my cities. It’s embarrassing when I think about it now, but I really didn’t pay that much attention to how I named my cities; I wanted it to sound good, and that was it. Again: if realism is your goal, that’s a big mistake. Like Point 5, we went back to the drawing board and dove into the archipelago’s history and established naming conventions. In my novel, for example, the islands were inhabited by indigenes called the Makehu before the colonization four hundred years before the events of the story; as it’s usually the case, all settlements and islands had purely descriptive names back then. For example, the main island was called Uni e Li, which translates as “Mighty Hill,” a reference to the vast mountain ranges in the south and north; townships followed the same example (e.g., Tamakaha meaning “Coarse Sands”). When the colonizers arrived, they adopted the Makehu names and adapted them into their own language, changing the accented, long vowels to double vowels: Uni e Li became “Uunili,” Lehō e Āhe became “Lehowai.” Makehu townships kept their names; colonial cities got “English” monikers named after their geographical location, economic significance, or some other original story. Examples of this are Southport, a—you guessed it—port on the southernmost tip of Uunili, or Cale’s Hope, a settlement named after a businessman’s mining venture. It’s all details, and chances are that most readers won’t even pay attention, but I personally found that this added a lot of plausibility and immersion.

I could cover a lot more, but this post is already way too long, so I’ll leave it at that—if there’s enough interest, I’d be happy to make a part two. If not, well, maybe at least a couple of you got something useful out of this. If you’re looking for inspiration/references to show to your illustrator/cartographer, the David Rumsey archive is a treasure trove. Finally, for anyone who doesn’t know and might be interested, my novel is called Dreams of the Dying, and is a blends fantasy, mystery, and psychological horror set in the universe of Enderal, an indie RPG for which I wrote the story. It’s set in a Polynesian-inspired medieval world and has been described as Inception in a fantasy setting by reviewers.

Credit for the map belongs to Dominik Derow, who did the ornamentation, and my friend Fabian Müller, who created the map in QGIS and answered all my questions with divine patience. The linguist’s name is David Müller (no, they’re not related, and, yes, we Germans all have the same last names.)

[dabilove27]

How Far We've Come

Paring: Dabi x Fem!Reader

Rating: Explicit (18+ only)

Warnings: Angst, Character Death, Smut (female-receiving oral), A Cocky Dabi, Cussing, A lot of Pet Names

Word Count: 7.8K

A/N: This is my contribution to the Smut Pile Apocalypse Collab! If you have the time check out some of the other amazing pieces! Everyone has worked so hard to make some beautiful fics!

Thank you so much to my wife @lady-lunaaa for reading, encouraging, brainstorming, and helping me the whole way from start to finish. I have said it before but I will say it again. You are absolutely amazing and this fic wouldn't exist without you! 💜 Also thank you @/deathcab4daddy (not sure if you want to be tagged) for taking the time to read through and for your advice!

You've seen all those movies, the decaying zombie hoards, the massive explosions that wipe out nations, or an unexpected illness that mysteriously kills off the population. But you had never really expected for any of those apocalyptic things to become true in your own world.  They were just fiction, never something that could actually occur. Yet here you are faced with the reality of a hoard of rotting zombies. Like you have been thrown into one of the many movies or TV shows yourself.

People aren't even sure how it happened, especially in a world full of quirks where this should be somewhat controlled, right? Wrong, whatever caused this zombie apocalypse also seemed to nullify quirks over time. There was so much speculation whether it came into the water supply or passed through the air. But none of that really seems to matter anymore when you are fighting for your life every day.

And as the mass of decaying, walking corpses steps closer and closer to you, it seems like your end is near too. The smell of organs exposed to the air and sun stink up the room.  You can see the blank, milky white eyes of the undead that somehow can still find you even though they can't really see.  You've had a partner, at least—the man who has stood with you during this entire shit show.

He stands close to you, a single rusted knife covered in stagnant blood, not nearly enough even combined with whatever you could find for fighting off the seemingly endless mindless bodies coming your way. He's covered in burn scars and rusted staples that pull at his healthy skin. People used to jab at him for looking like the walking dead before all this went down.  His firepower from before would have solved this problem in an instant. This rotting mob wouldn't have stood a chance.

But instead, it looks like it's the conclusion for the two of you. Memories flash through your mind. A memory of escaping the daily struggle of your mundane life by sharing take-out on your old couch.  Or how his kisses always felt like burning flames against your lips.  Your regular life consisted of trying to numb the pain of the past with alcohol or working endless hours.  Even though you didn’t have a traditional relationship where you could go on public dates, being in a relationship with a well-known villain was worlds better than this. But if you were going to die, at least it was together. Solidarity in times like this seems to help the never-ending dread that the Reaper looming around every corner ready to take you.  Every moment in this new hell had you wished you had more time to develop your romance with him instead of the tragedy that was about to befall you. You wished you had more time with this romance and that it wouldn't end in tragedy. It's hard to believe that there was ever a time when you couldn't stand this man, but even now, that's a fond memory for you.  You would give anything to return to that old bar where the two of you met and relive all of these memories.

It really isn't a surprise that you met Dabi in a dark, run-down bar near Kamino.  No, not the "bar" run by Kurogiri; everyone who lived in this area knew that it was just a setup. This bar is a tiny little hole in the wall with paint chipping off the walls and where the seats were hardly held together anymore, but that didn't really matter to people who lived in this area. You didn't come to this bar for a luxury experience.

The main reason people came to this bar was its location.  It sat deep in a seedy area which meant no police patrolling nearby so you wouldn’t need to look over your shoulder constantly.  Plus, the cheap liquor was enticing enough.

Every Friday night, you were perched on one of the worn-out bar stools as you nursed your gin and tonic.  This was your place to unwind after another hellish week of your mundane job.  It was still early enough in the evening that the bar wasn't thoroughly packed with bodies trying to get their drink.  The music was still soft,  later it would blare whatever song was currently sitting at the top of the Billboard charts. You were able to turn your brain off and listen to other patrons' mindless chatter in the background.  You could just sip your drink, maybe take a shot or two if you felt like, and then head home to pass out.

You relished this little getaway, an oasis in the slums that made up your small world.  The bartender and regular patrons didn't bother you, so you could have your own peace.  But your Eden got interrupted by a cocky, fire-wielding asshole who had set his sights on you.

You didn't stir when said asshole plopped himself down in the barstool next to you with a thump.  It wasn't until the jerk actually spoke to you that you were brought out of your mindless daydreaming.

"Hey, pretty girl, what are you doing in a place like this?"  He said with a smooth tone.  You didn't even have to look at him to know he had an arrogant smirk plastered on his face.

Who the fuck does this asshole think he is? The irritated thought instantly pops into your head.  Anyone who frequented this bar knew you were from around here.  You weren't some soft, delicate flower that wasn't supposed to be "on this side of town."  Preparing yourself by putting on your best "I'm not interested face," you maneuvered your body to face him, ready to tell him off.

Your words caught in your throat as your eyes met his two endless pools of cerulean.  Your gaze shifted to take in the burnt skin clinging onto the shining staples that were rooted in his healthy skin. A familiar black coat spread across his frame that was even more recognizable than those eyes, and the patronizing smile that you wanted to slap off his face. As much as you wanted to throw up your middle finger at him and tell him off, you knew who this was. Hell, everyone knew who this was.

The League of Villains didn't necessarily keep quiet around here. They didn't have to. This is the area where they recruited people to join them. You didn't just flick off and ignore a LOV member. Especially the infamous Dabi, who wasn't really known for his kindness or compassion. More for his ability to burn anyone who defied The League to a crumbling crisp.

But still, who did this asshole think he is? Waltzing in here like he owned it and saddling down into your escape from the world only to tell you that you don't look like you should be here?  Fuck that nonsense, League member or not.

You swallow down a bit of the initial anger as your eyes narrow into a glare at the cocky asshole.  "Thanks but no thanks, I'm not interested in being involved with the League. So if you don't mind going somewhere else to scout, that would be great." You try to say without a tremble in your voice as you wave your hand in a "shoo" motion.

You aren't sure what you expect Dabi to do next., burn down the whole bar you included? Tell you that you have no choice but to join, and you're coming with him? Rip you out of your seat and reprimand you for disrespecting The League? But instead, none of those things happen.  Instead, he does something you don't expect, and his grin grows a little wider as the staples begin to pull more at his healthy flesh.

You can feel your anxiety rising. Get out, get out, get out, this asshole will kill you, leave NOW, your mind is practically sending off every warning signal it can.

Your chest tightens when Dabi lets out a low chuckle. "Oh no, sweetheart, you've got it all wrong."  He says with a dark tone. "I'm not recruiting you for work. My interest in you is personal."  Dabi points at you and then at himself and finishes with an infuriating smirk that seems to be mocking you.  He's moved his hand and placed it on your forearm that was resting on the smooth bar top.

A shiver runs through you as the mismatched textures of his skin and the cool metal of the staples.  You feel your anger bubbling up again.  How dare this jerk think that you will just fall for him like a desperate fangirl.  You are livid at this point, frustration coursing through your veins, fuck the niceties and preservation. He needed to be put in his place.

"I know you think you are some big shot because The League is doing so well right now but fuck off asshole.  I'm not a League groupie that will just kneel down and suck your dick just because you want it." You spit out at him while shrugging off his hand and moving your body to face the way you were initially sitting. Grasping your drink and lifting it to your lips, you try and down what was left so you could leave immediately, any extra moment around Dabi was a moment you didn't want to have.

You were sure Dabi would have given up or at least killed you by now. You can't imagine that he is used to being rejected by women.  He's handsome in a way that doesn't fit with the norm.  He fills in that bad boy check-list like it's his job, which it practically is given his profession.  Again though, Dabi surprises you with his response. He doesn't yell, he doesn't use his quirk, and he doesn't kill you. He lets out another dark chuckle like he's enjoying this and continues the conversation you had tried to cut off.

"I didn't say anything about sucking dick, but if you're offering, who am I to turn down a gift?"  That smooth tone is back as he moves his hand to your hair and runs it through his fingers.

Bewilderment overcomes you, and you can't even stop yourself before you are turned towards him again, glass in your hand, ready to throw what's left of your drink on him.

As if he anticipated the response, Dabi moves quickly and grabs your wrist in a tight grip.  "Now, why would you want to waste what you have left, doll? That's not a very smart choice." His grip tightens a little more around your wrist, and you can feel the staples begin to dig into your skin as he lets out a deep chuckle. He moves your hand back down to the bar but doesn't let go even after your glass has left your hand.  "There we go, good girl.  Now let's talk just a bit." He says sweetly, loosening his grip just a bit, but not enough for you to move your hand.

If looks could kill, Dabi would have died a cruel death by now. You are seething at this point.  But instead, you're stuck there as he continues to do whatever it is that he’s trying to accomplish.  "What were you drinking?  I'll buy you another one and then leave, okay doll?"  He says playfully and with a cunning grin on his face as you mumble out your drink order.  You just want him to leave, and you really hope he plans on keeping his word.

Dabi motions for the bartender's attention, gives your drink order and plops a few bills on the bartop. He still hasn't let go of your wrist, and each and every moment he is even touching you, you can feel your annoyance continuing to build.  You want to ask him if he's done yet and will kindly get the fuck out, but you have a sneaking suspicion that he likes the cat and mouse game, which would just lengthen the amount of time he sticks around.

The bartender finally delivers your drink, and it takes everything in you not to rip your wrist out of his grasp and grab the new glass to pour over Dabi's head.  "Okay, one last question, and then I'll leave."  He drawls out as you put all your focus into the condensation forming on your glass.  You stay silent, waiting for his stupid question so you can move on and never see him again.  Dabi continues with that condesending tone that is starting to cause your head to ache, "How often do you come here? I'd love to see you again."

Your heartbeat picks up, and little shots of adrenaline start to flow through you as you contemplate how to respond. Of course, you don't want this asshole to know when you come here. This is your escape from the world. You never want to even see Dabi again,  but something from this interaction tells you Dabi isn't going to give up easily. So you tell him your regular time that you show up at the bar every Friday.

Dabi squeezes your wrist a little bit before letting out another "Good girl, sounds like a date.  I'll see you then." You never want him to know how those few words send a shiver down your spine. He saunters out of the bar without having a single drink himself. Patrons stare dumbfounded between you and the doorway that Dabi just exited, trying to comprehend what just happened.

You let out an exasperated sigh before leaning your head down into your folded arms.  The bar top isn't necessarily the cleanest of places to lay your head, but it’s pounding and racing with thoughts, and you can't really bring yourself to care right now.  You try to formulate a plan so you won't ever see him. You'll just move your regular day to Saturday instead of Fridays.  But then that stubborn anger flares inside of you again, and you sit up straight, glancing at your newly unwanted drink as the ice slowly melts, lifting the remaining liquid in the cup.  No, I'm not going to let that asshole ruin my spot for me.  He can come around here every Friday, but I'll turn that jerk down a million times. You think a little smugly to yourself.  We will see how the big bad Dabi feels being turned down over and over.  Maybe that will sting his ego.

And so you and Dabi play this game of cat and mouse. He comes every Friday when you are there without fail, buying you a drink, chatting to you with sentences filled with pet names, and planning another "date" each time.  And every time you tell him you aren't interested or to go away, or really anything to try and get that stupid fucking smirk off his face.  But it always remains cemented there as he watches you get fired up.  And what you don't realize is the two of you are getting to know each other.  Dabi adds in little questions, "what's your favorite food, least favorite, what do you do for work?"  And the questions go on and on.  You don't realize your walls coming down as the two of you find similarities in each other.  And if there is one thing anyone who sees these frequent interactions between the two of you can say, it is that Dabi is determined.

You are so used to Dabi's Friday visits that they don't bring headaches anymore, and you realize something more has developed when he doesn't show up one week.  A mixture of feelings rests in you, anxiety, confusion, anger.  You wonder if he's okay, or has he finally given up.  And then anger if he has.  You don't want to admit it, but you miss his company, and you don't even have a number to reach out to him.  You feel a sense of loss in your chest.  How could he just give up?  He's been trying for months!  You think as tears begin to sting for a moment in your eyes.

You leave the bar that night not feeling uplifted or relaxed but sad and angry.  And you aren't necessarily looking forward to returning the week after, but you do come back to your regular spot and hope Dabi will show.  Your heart almost stops in your chest when you see him walk through the entrance of the bar, and before you can contain the words, they tumble out in a frantic sound, "where were you last week?"  You are standing in front of him now, looking up at that little grin he always has on his face whenever you get annoyed with him.  You cross your arms over your chest and exclaim, "Well? I'm waiting."

"Aw, did you miss me, baby girl?"  His poker face never falls, but his grin grows a tiny bit wider as he stares into your fiery eyes.  And without warning, he wraps one of his long arms around you, pulling you into a tight side hug.

A small eep escapes you at the movement, and you move to push him off.  "What the hell are you doing? Answer my question, you jerk!" You practically yell as you push away from him.  He doesn't let go and just pulls you tighter to him, and you find yourself not struggling anymore as you take in the weathered texture of his coat pressed against your arm and the smell of cigarettes on him.  You feel your walls starting to fall entirely, "I was really concerned about you." You let out in a whisper, not really wanting to admit it to him, but you weren't sure how you would feel if something like this happened again.

"Aw, babe, you did miss me."  The delight in his voice makes you shiver a little.  He gestures you over to your regular spot at the bar, and the two of you sit down in the weathered chairs.  He puts a calloused finger under your chin to bring your gaze to his.  You stare into his cerulean depths that you used to hate and find yourself softening a bit.  "I had to do something for The League, but I don't have your number, love.  So I couldn't call and let you know I wouldn't make our date."  His face relaxes a bit as he watches your frown turn into a bit of pout.

"Okay, well fine, I'll give you my number.  But don't just text me randomly, okay?"  You huff as you lay your palm flat and motion for his phone.  Dabi chuckles and shakes his head before handing you the phone without another word.  Lifting the phone, you type your number into the cracked screen and hand it back to him.  "Okay, now text me, so I have yours. " You say, moving to grab your phone to wait for his upcoming text.

"Hmmm, I don't think so, doll,"  Dabi says, taking in your furrowed brow and then relishing in the way you roll your eyes at his taunting.

"Fine, whatever, Dabi.  Just text me next time you can't make it."  You say sourly while searching for the bartender to order your drink.  You don't want Dabi to see the slight sting of hurt in your eyes because he won't give you his.  The rest of the night goes as expected, drinking and talking, and you find yourself laughing more, not realizing how much you truly enjoyed this time with him.

The two of you depart with another hug, this one much shorter than the first, but you find yourself leaning into the warmth that radiates from him instead of wanting to push him off.  As you begin walking down the street home, you feel a buzz in your pocket.  Pulling out your phone, you unlock it to the message from an unknown number.

Unknown Number: Hey babe, see you same time next week - D

A small smile comes to your face as you type a response back.

The following year you grow in your relationship with Dabi.  There are never really any titles between the two of you.  Just that the two of you are together.  You never meet The League. Dabi is insistent you aren't involved with them in case things go awry.  But you spend a lot of time together when work or villain work doesn't take up the time.

Your relationship together comes to a head at the very start of the apocalypse.  The two of you sit snuggled together on your worn-out couch watching the news as a young reporter stands in front of a local research building in town and goes through the facts of citizens becoming "mindless and violent in a matter of hours."  And how they have people under lockdown who are experiencing symptoms of this "mysterious illness."

A slight shiver goes through you as the reporter goes on.  "That's really scary. No one knows what's causing it,"  you reflect aloud while you lean in closer into Dabi's outstretched arm that is resting around your shoulders.

"Aw, babe, don't be scared.  Those mindless fools wouldn't stand a chance if they tried to lay a hand on you while I'm there,"  Dabi says with a glint of amusement in his voice.  He always sounds so condescending, but you know it's the truth.  Remembering a time at the bar when a guy wouldn't take no for an answer-not that Dabi really followed that either- but Dabi didn't hesitate to let the guy know you were already taken.  He flirts and likes to jab a lot, but there’s a complete shift in the atmosphere when he's serious.

"Ugh, Dabi, you know I don't mean them attacking us. It's whatever is causing it that worries me. What happens if one of us gets it?  There's no cure right now,"  You say and worry your lower lip between your teeth.

Dabi picks up on your anxious state, and his cocky facade fades.  He pulls you on his lap so that you are fully facing him with legs pressed on either side of his.  Dabi holds one large hand on your waist, and the other he presses to your cheek.  Leaning your cheek further into his hand, Dabi moves his thumb to trace over the slight marks in your lip where your teeth were just placed.  "Hey, listen to me, nothing is going to happen, okay?  I won't let any of these maniacs hurt you, and we won't catch whatever they have,"  Dabi says tenderly as he gives you a small smile.

It's nice to see him like this- when his mask of superiority disappears, and he's focused on encouraging you.  It doesn't happen often because you like to keep walls.  Comfort from Dabi doesn’t need to happen often but you can’t say you don’t like it when he does.  You enjoy these softer moments with him that only you get to see.

You pull Dabi into a light kiss.  The gentle pressure of his mismatched lips fit seamlessly against yours.  You pull away after a moment to look into his deep blue eyes that now captivate you.  Dabi has that coy smile still on his face, and as his eyes meet your in that moment, it's like the horrible events of the world aren't happening anymore.  All that seems to exist is the two of you, not the TV still prattling in the background or even the noises outside your city window.

Dabi lightly caresses your cheek down to the length of your neck and finally ending near where your collarbones sit.  Everywhere he touches leaves behind a trail of goosebumps on your skin.  Even with these simple touches, you can feel yourself starting moving against him, trying to create a bit of friction.  Dabi knew how easily he could rile you up with simple touches.  It was frustrating at times, and you wished you could have the same effect on him.

"I love you, babe.  And no matter what, I won't let anything hurt you,"  Dabi tells you, and you swear his voice seems to be cracking, but the moment is gone before you can think about it.  Dabi lives on being mysterious most of the time, and you rarely get to see this vulnerable side of him.  Even if he doesn't say it behind that mask of cockiness, you can feel that there is fear of what's happening right now.  Or at least that's what you think the fear is from, but Dabi will never admit the fear is from losing you to whatever this is.  He isn't sure he could survive this hell of a life he's been given without you.

Your heart aches at his sincere words from earlier, and you whisper back, "I love you too, Dabi."  Drawing him into a more intense kiss.  Dabi begins to run his fingers along the hem of your t-shirt and delicately brushes the skin right under with his fingertips.  You feel a moan bubble up inside of you, but his mouth moving against yours swallows the sound.

"I want you so bad, doll.  Let's just forget what's going on right now, let the world fall away,"  he says in a husky voice after breaking away from the kiss.

You nod to him before letting out a content sigh and letting your eyes fall shut while Dabi continues to trace his hands over your body.  Dabi trails his massive heated hands under the thin shirt you are wearing and down to your hips.  You can feel the bulge of his cock through his jeans as it begins to press against your clothed core.

Opening your eyes, you meet Dabi's half-lidded lustful eyes and bite your bottom lip and allow yourself to give into Dabi taking over you.

You can feel your heart beating a little faster, watching Dabi drink in every ounce of you.  Dabi is one of the only men you have ever trusted like this.  To have you so totally vulnerable.  It's strange how someone you didn't want anything to do with for months has become someone you rely on for everything- love, comfort, pleasure.

Dabi places open-mouthed kisses along your neck that leave you breathless.  "Fuck, I'm obsessed with every inch of you,"  Dabi growls out before returning to kissing and sucking your neck and exposed collar bone.

You grip Dabi's shoulder to ground you back from floating away into complete bliss and tip your head out to give him more access to your neck.  Dabi's mouth is like a flame that licks at your sensitive skin as he continues to trail his mouth all over.  You could be trapped in this pleasure forever.

Dabi grasps the back of your head and roughly brings your lips back to his.  With your mouths slotted against each other, you moan as Dabi finesses you to where you are lying on your back on the old couch, and he is hovering over you.

You break the kiss to quickly pull off his jacket and expose Dabi's scarred arms.  And just as you have only trusted Dabi fully with yourself, he has done the same.  Of course, the two of you have had sex with other people, mostly with lights off clothing still left on to hide the imperfections.  But with each other, there is no more hiding.

Heat begins to pool in your belly as you watch Dabi pull off your shorts and slide his warm hands all the way back up your leg and massage the plush skin of your thighs.  Once your shorts are removed, Dabi brings himself back to your face and, with a lustful sigh, traces kisses on your jaw and neck.

"Just relax and let me take you away from all of this, love.  I want to hear every sound you make." He growls as he moves down towards your pussy and lays himself between your spread legs.  Dabi lifts your thighs to rest on his shoulder as you let out a little gasp.  You can feel the excitement and heat rising in you.

Dabi kisses down the inside of your soft thighs and stops to suck at certain spots, leaving minor marks in their place.  He stops for a moment until you are looking directly into his captivating gaze, and then he licks a stripe up your pussy over the cotton of your underwear.  You let out a breathy moan at the sensation.   That jerk knows precisely what he's doing.

Dabi then grabs the thin material of your underwear and rips them away from your body with a tear. Groaning, you are about to curse at him for ruining another pair but are cut short when he sleekly licks up your folds. A delicate, playful moan leaves your separated lips.  Your eyes close, and you cling onto his white shirt to ground yourself.

"Baby girl, you're soaking wet," Dabi teases as if you weren't aware but cuts off any retort again with a quick suck to your aching clit. You can't hold back the loud moan that bubbles up in your throat.

Dabi smiles against your lower lips and continues his ministrations.   His mouth is open wide, so he can move back and forth from quickly licking up and down your sensitive pussy as well as suck softly on your clit.   You feel light-headed at the extended sensations, little whimpers and moans falling through your lips.  Dabi has always been able to leave you speechless with just his mouth.

"Dabi please," Your breathing hitches, and you moan out as he flicks his tongue repeatedly over your small bud. You can feel that hot pressure building in your stomach as Dabi continues. He laps at you like you are holding the only source of liquid left in this world, his tongue working wonders on your dripping hole.

Dabi pulls back and looks up at you as you eagerly meet his blue eyes, begging him to continue.  He smirks before lowering his mouth back down and laps at your sopping core teasingly.  Fucking bastard.  Always a tease from day one.

Dabi licks his lips before returning to eating you out even faster as a series of cries and obscenities continue to fall out of your mouth.  You can't hold them back.  His mouth is so hot and wet against your core.

With another curse, you tell him you are close. A sigh escapes your lips, and your head tosses back onto the cushy arm of the couch.  Dabi pulls away but inserts two fingers inside of you in place of his mouth.

"Fuck, sweetheart, as much as I want to hear you beg and plead for me,  I want to taste you right now."  Dabi lets out with a rough voice filled with desire.  You whimper as he continues to fuck you with his fingers.  He smirks at your blissed-out face and then returns his mouth to your pussy.  His tongue flicks over your clit repeatedly as whines and cries continue to be let out of your mouth.  Back arching, you bite at your lip, barely able to even process the words that came out of Dabi just a moment ago.

"Oh, fuck, Dabi, please. Please, I'm gonna cum soon." The words fall from your lips, and your mind feels numb to everything except the feeling of Dabi's tongue on your pussy.

Dabi grunts and gives another hard suck to your clit before pulling away just a bit.  "Hell yeah, babe, come all over my face."

Your eyes roll back, and your mouth opens with another cry as your legs begin to tremble as the tension starts to rise in your stomach. One more lick, and you know you'd come. Dabi's continued suckling of your clit sends you careening over the edge. Your cries fill the room, and your back arches as your legs try to squeeze around his head.  Dabi continues to suck and lick as you orgasm.  Panting and with your eyes twisted shut, you cling to his shirt as you start to come down.  A final curse gently leaves your mouth as you wait for your legs to stop shaking.  Dabi takes one last long slow lick before sitting back and wiping his face with the back of his hand.  You can't bring yourself to move from the couch, still panting and weak.

Your mind starts slowly coming back to you as the bliss begins to leave.  The realization of everything happening in the world washes over you.  But you were thankful Dabi took the time to distract you from the horrors of what's going on.  You move over so Dabi can cuddle with you on the couch.  It isn't much room, but it feels good to be this close with him, wrapped in each other's arms.  You both slowly start to drift off to sleep, but you don't miss Dabi's final words mumbled into your hair, "I'll never let anything happen to you."

Shortly after that, the world seems to descend into madness.  The illness grows more and more rampant.  People are getting infected every day.  Whether it's through the original source of contamination or by those contaminated biting or scratching someone.  Panic spreads throughout the country.  But through all of it, you and Dabi stick together.

From the moment it was declared an emergency Dabi was banging at your door, insisting the two of you find somewhere safer than your run-down apartment.  Because while the two of you needed sleep, whatever these things are could go non-stop, and your apartment was not fortified.

You and Dabi lost your quirks a month after the emergency declaration, along with the rest of the population. People couldn't fight these zombie-like creatures off anymore.  Like all the movies and TV shows, the bodies became more zombies than actual living people.

After a while of jumping around from a destroyed place to another, the two of you found yourself in an apartment building that had a sturdy enough entrance that the zombies couldn't break through.  The daily struggles were still hard, though. Finding food and water to survive became a daily task for the two of you.  Through all of this, he never left your side. He always insisted the two of you stay together.  And so you did.  Fighting the living dead, but sometimes the living too when things got even more terrible, and scavenging was your everyday routine now.

You lost track of time and could only follow when the seasons changed.  But Dabi was really the only thing getting you through this.  Seeing people destroy one another for food or shelter destroyed you inside.  Never knowing if these zombies you were killing were someone you had known at one point, or just another faceless dead person tore at every corner of your brain.  Dabi stayed strong for the two of you.  Holding you every night on the ripped blankets, you could gather for the strange bed the two of you slept in.  You would sob into his muscled chest about how you couldn't live in this world anymore, how you couldn't kill another person, alive or dead.

But Dabi would never let go.  He would hold you close and let your never-ending tears stain the only shirt he had now.  He would rub your back with his warm hands; even though his rusting staples would catch on your shirt and rip from his skin, he still did it.  He would hold you until you fell asleep, whispering how strong you were and how he could never do this without you.  And after all the tears, you were thankful too.  Because without him, you'd be dead or alone.  You knew that without Dabi, you would have never survived this long.

But you could see Dabi was hurting too.  You couldn't find supplies to treat his decaying skin.  He hid his daily pain from you, but when Dabi thought you weren't looking or listening, he would hiss at the pain of another staple pulling at his burnt skin or let out a huge sigh when he would try to put it back together, but it wouldn't cooperate.

The only hope the two of you held onto was each other and that possibly a cure would come soon.  Not that either you could really access that information with no electricity; there wasn't any way to get information other than hearsay.  You survived the best you could in this world.

And as much as this wasn't what you would have picked for either of you, at least you had each other.  You tried not to think of a time when you wouldn't be together, even though the chances of that happening were high- it hurt too much. To survive in this world without Dabi would be too fucking much.

It's almost as if fate chose to play a cruel game with the two of you.  It seemed like a "normal" trip out to scavenge for food and water.  The two of you had to expand your search area since places closer were mainly empty.

This time you found yourself outside of a convenience store, a reasonable distance away from your home.  It hadn't been completely destroyed by some miracle and was not overrun by the zombified people.  Still, in a state of decay, though, Dabi was quickly able to kick his heavy boots through the door and get the two of you in.

Sauntering through the gas station, you quickly begin to pick up canned food and stale bags of chips and shove them in your worn backpack.  Dabi is doing the same on other aisles until he lets out a chuckle.  "Hey babe, look what I found."  He says with a cocky voice holding up a few boxes of wrapped condoms above the aisle for you to see.

You roll your eyes.  "Thanks, Dabi. Is sex really what we want to be thinking about right now? Let's just get this shit and get out."  You let out with an annoyed huff and continue to push the limits of how much your bag can hold.

Dabi comes over to your aisle and snakes his arms around your waist with your back pressed to his chest.  He places his chin on your shoulder and whispers in your ear.  "Yes, all I can think about is getting your beautiful body back home and finally being able to finish in you, and with these, I can."  He lets out a dark chuckle as he pulls you closer against him and bucks  his hips playfully.

"Okay, horn dog, let's get this shit done, and then we can do whatever you want back home."  You let out with an eye roll.  It's hard to stay mad at him. You know he's trying to keep things light for you, to keep you happy because he can see how hard this is.  And his regular teasing is one way he knows will bring a smile to your face.

As you are finishing up trying to take inventory of anything else in the store that you can take back, you spot the clear plastic that holds the cartons of cigarettes behind the cashier counter.  While you didn't necessarily want Dabi smoking, you knew he missed the vice. Cigarettes were just as hard to find as medicine in this new world.  Smiling to yourself, you move behind the counter and reach for the plastic flap to lift it up.

As you try to lift the latch, it doesn't budge. You look around for what might be blocking it before seeing the tiny silver keyhole to one side of the compartment.  Crap, of course, it's locked.    You really wanted to surprise Dabi with this.  Maybe you still could. The key had to be here somewhere, right? You think while scanning around the counter.  You try searching through the counters for a hidden key but no luck.  Letting out a heavy sigh, you call Dabi over.

Dabi wanders over to your annoyed face and can't help but smile at your slight pout.  "I wanted to surprise you! But I can't open it. Can you get it, please?"  It comes out almost like a whine as you gesture to the cigarettes.

Dabi's smirk turns into a genuine smile, and he pats the top of your head before saying, "My sweet doll.  Thank you for thinking of me. Let me help you out."  You could smack him, but instead, you watch as he hastily rips the plastic covering away and slips his hand below it to grab one of the wrapped cartons.

At that moment, everything changes.  The fun times the two of you were having shatters as a loud alarm rings through the store.  Panic floods your system as you stare at Dabi wide-eyed.  "There is no electricity. What's happening? There shouldn't be an alarm."  Horror is laced in your voice as words spill out of you.  Every walking corpse within miles will be here soon with the sound.

"Fuck, must have had a battery attachment. Come on, let's go."  Dabi's usual playfulness is gone as he abandons the cigarettes and grabs your hand.  He's grave now.  Getting the two of you out of here safely is his only goal.

You follow Dabi quickly, a hand grasped tightly in his as he runs towards the broken-down front door.   And that's when even more terror settles into you.  Zombies are pushing their way through the open door.  Their rotting bodies and white eyes focused on the area where the alarm is coming from.  There weren't many around when you broke in, but now it seems like they are multiplying by the moment.

"Fuck fuck fuck." Dabi curses under his breath, quickly turning around and pulling you towards the building's back exit.  You follow behind adrenaline surging through your veins fueled by your flight response.  Dabi grasps at the metal handle to the back door and shakes it only to find it locked.  "Damnit!"  he shouts before kicking the door violently.

Your heart is pounding, and you feel helpless as you stare at Dabi while he continues to slam himself at the door.  While the front door was glass and flimsier, this door was only budging slightly.  With all your focus on the door, you don't notice the continuously growing herd filtering into the gas station.  Not until you feel one brush against your shoulder.

Your eyes widen as you feel a scream bubbling in your throat.  This is it.   This is where the two of you die and either become fodder for a herd of living dead or turn into one yourself.   Your brain is pure panic as thoughts fly through faster than you can catch them.  You don't even realize you have screamed out Dabi's name until you see his face turn towards yours.

His typically blue eyes are almost entirely covered by his dark pupils as he takes in the monstrosities behind you.  But unlike you, he doesn't hesitate. He pulls out a knife he keeps in one of his pockets and slams it into the decaying skull of the zombie that is right behind you.  Splurts of dark blood hit your cheek as he pulls out the knife, and the creature behind you crumples to the floor.

"Keep trying the door! I'll keep them off you."  Dabi shouts, pulling you into the spot he previously stood.  Your heartbeat is so loud you can feel it in your head, and you can't even make a coherent response as you begin to slam your body against the solid surface.  You can feel it give a little more with each push of your body, and everything in you is screaming not to give up.  Doing your best not to glance at Dabi's grunting and movements as he continues to try and put down zombie after zombie.

You can't give up; this can't be the end . Desperately your brain is screaming as you continue to feel the door give more and more.  Your shoulder hurts from the continued impact, but you aren't letting it slow you down.  You can feel it; it's almost there.

Suddenly the door gives, and you can see the sun shining through on the other side.  You cry out in  relief and turn back to tell Dabi to come with you.  But as your eyes meet, fear fills every ounce of you.

He's still fighting them off, but there is a gaping bite wound on his right arm— rows of teeth marks embedded in his skin.  You feel like you're going to be sick. There is no coming back from this; there's no known cure.  At any point within the next twenty-four hours, he would be another one of the walking dead, no sense, no logic, and looking to consume others. This can't be happening, this can't be happening.  Your heart is sinking with every second that ticks by.

"What the fuck are you waiting for? Get out! Get out!"  Dabi screams at you as he embeds his knife in another zombie.

"No, no, I can't leave without you!  I-we can find something.  I'll find something, please! Come on, Dabi, I can't do this without you!"  You are sobbing now, hot tears streaming through the dirt and blood mixed on your face.  An ache in your heart starts to form.  You know you don't know how to help him, but you'll do anything to not leave him behind.

Dabi lets out a grin despite the feral dead people closing in on him.  And gives you a wink before saying in a voice that seems too calm for the situation, "Come on, doll, you are the most intelligent person I know.  You have to go.  Live for us, babe.  Look at how far we've come.  Go show this world that it won't ever break you down. I love you, and I'll come to find you wherever you are in the afterlife and annoy the shit out of you.  Now go!"

It's like your heart is being ripped into a thousand pieces. Your breath comes out in short huffs, moving towards hyperventilating.  You want to go back to Dabi and cling on for dear life, but you won't let him die in vain.  Not after that speech.  That would be an insult to everything the two of you have overcome.  So with all your strength, you give your lover, the man who has come so far with you, the last look before letting out a final "I love you too" and burst out the door.

You don't look back, aching feet propelling you forward as tears continue to stream and fall off your face.  When you first met Dabi, you would have never thought you'd miss him.  But you will , you'll miss every snarky comment, every flirty glance, and the tender way only he has loved you.  The man that you were sure was just some asshole trying to get laid became the love of your life and sacrificed himself so you could live.  And you could never let that go to waste.

[seldnei]

Got tagged by my fellow Dream Lord, @julcheninred ...

Relationship status: Married. Not currently plotting murder.

Favorite color: Green!

Favorite food: Any combination of bread, tomato, and cheese.

Song stuck in your head: I have music playing, so that’s drowning out whatever’s in there (current song is “Chasing Cars” by Snow Patrol)

Last thing you’ve googled: “Elden Ring dungeons list.”  I’m stuck on the fucking Elden Beast fight, so I’m taking a break and running through all the dungeons I’ve missed or skipped.

Time: 12:48 PM

Last book you read: When Sorrows Come by Seanan McGuire.  I’m prepping for the new Toby book that’s coming out at the end of the month.

Last book you enjoyed: Not a re-read? The Grief of Stones by Katherine Addison.

Last book you hated reading:  I no longer read books that I hate.  Like, I’ll finish a “meh” book, but if I find myself actively hating the book, I just quit. I believe the last time this happened, it was 21 Lessons for the 21st Century.  I was hoping for something better than the 1am honors dorm room pontificating I got (do not get me started on the section on science fiction).

Favorite thing to cook/bake: I like the process of baking chocolate chip cookies, especially with fresh brown sugar.  I like to have baked bread, because I make good bread, but the process is loooong.

Favorite craft to do in your free time: I don’t really craft much--most of my free time is spent reading or, at the moment, playing Elden Ring.  I do want to learn to make my own notebooks, though.

Most niche dislikes: Jazz?  I hate jazz.  My coworkers find this weird. Oh, I am also not fond of Chicago citation style.  I think its bibliographies look weird and crowded.

Opinion on circuses: Love fictional circuses. Fantasy circuses (MirrorMask’s, as an example), horror circuses (I am quite fond of the Circus of the Other in Magnus Archives), a dusty, 30s-era circus as a setting for a novel.  Have no desire to go to a circus in real life.  (side note: I got lost at the circus when I was small, which was not traumatic for me but was pretty traumatic for my mother.)

Do you have a sense of direction and if not what’s the worst way you’ve gotten lost?: Yeeesss?  Okay, I can’t label my left and right.  If you say “go left,” there are 50 50 odds that I will turn right, honestly thinking I am turning left. However, if I, say, know I am facing north, and you tell me to go east, I will do it. I am pretty good at knowing where the main roads are from where I am in areas I’m familiar with. I’ve successfully navigated people who thought we were lost back to civilization in my hometown and current city.

That said, the worst time I got lost was coming back from a friend’s place in another town where I’d only been once, with the hungry three year old in the back seat.  Ugh.

Last song I listened to: The Mary J. Blige cover of “Stay With Me.”

Last show I watched: She Hulk, Attorney at Law.

Currently watching: I guess that?  It’s coming out once a week.

Currently reading: Nothing, as I just finished a book yesterday, but I’m going to re-read Paladin’s Hope by T. Kingfisher next.

Current obsessions: Sandman has made a triumphant return to my obsessions list.  Still obsessed with the album The Horror and the Wild by The Amazing Devil, but it got interrupted by a desire to deep dive into Panic! at the Disco’s discography.  Elden Ring, god help me. And the cozy fantasy romance refuses to leave me alone, despite the two sets of revisions I need to be working on.

I am tagging @lookninjas, @silver-stargazing, @kaoticspoonie (if you want to, no pressure) and anyone else who wants to do this.

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers: January 28th, 2021 (Part 1)

And we’re back with many more ask answers! Thank you for waiting.

Is lizzie/the main character tripping over a rock a random event in barbecue? or does it require certain choices? i picked the same choices in multiple different playthroughs but ended up with three different outcomes (1. nothing happens 2. liz trips 3. i trip)

Yep! It’s completely random. Just a little moment of life you don’t have control over, haha.

wait just double checking you stated that derek would be another romantic interest you can pursue in step 4 right??? im just asking cuz hes my fav character 

oh wait and btw i was the one that asked the question about derek being in the step 4 just now, and will you have to pay extra for like a dlc or something bc i play the free version rn and i just wanted to check!! 

Yeah, you will eventually be able to romance him, but unfortunately it is a paid DLC. Cove is the only love interest who’s entirely free-to-play. You can  follow our social media for when we giveaways for a chance to win a key for it, though.

i know that y’all said the step 3 dlc and step 4 will be released early 2021, is there any update to that? for example, a rough amount of days/weeks until release? no pressure at all, i’m super excited!! <3 

The Step 3 DLC will be about in maybe two-two and half months or so. Step 4, we’re not entirely sure. Maybe a few months after the Step 3. We don’t want to give set dates until we’re really close to the release since otherwise we wouldn’t be able to 100% guarantee them.

First off love the game. Second I'm a little confused on how the nsfw dlc is gonna work. Because based on some stuff you've said it sounds like a patreon only thing and others make me think it could be an itch/steam thing after the fact? Would you mind clarifying for me 😅. Also if it's a patreon only thing do you need to become one before it's released? 

It’s not going to be on Steam/Itch. The actual game of Our Life is safe for teens with no adult content. Any 18+ stuff we’re releasing is separate bonus content. Right now the only for sure plan is having it available through Patreon. If there’s another hosting site that’s not Steam or Itch that’d be easier for people than Patreon we might consider uploading it there too, but nothing else is set.

If you want the bonus Moment you’d have to join once it’s already out or sometime after the release. Joining now would get you our current rewards, but wouldn’t get you future content that’s coming later.

this is probably an awkward question and i apologize, feel free not to answer, but i just wanted to address the elephant in the room....will step 4 acknowledge covid/2020 world events?? i kind of hope not bc i'd like to just exist in a fictional version of the world where things are happy in this quaint seaside town and the world isn't falling apart, but i'd understand if there are some references to it. just thought i'd ask so i can Prepare if that makes sense

Step 4 isn’t going to include Covid or even reference it. When we set Step 4 in that year we definitely didn’t know there’d be a global pandemic during it. It’s too late to move the timeframe earlier or later, but we’re not going to make Step 4 stressful for anyone because the real world became so much more stressful. The universe of Our Life will just be an even more idealized place than it was before.

hiiiii! i'm really sorry if this is a bother. i was just curious if cove has a canon setting for each step, like is it canon that he stays candid the whole game and is super sporty for instance and the rest are variations? thank you for your time!

None of those settings are canon. They’re all equally valid.

I love the game and Cove so much that I ended up spending most of the holidays playing it. Definitely worth it! Idk if you're taking suggestions/criticisms, but I chose the peach skin tone and seeing it written as "my peach skin" in the game broke immersion for me because I kept thinking it was referring to the fruit instead of my skin color. I think that skin color is most commonly referred to as "fair" but "peachy" or "rosy" would work too if you're looking for a different word 

Thank you for sharing your experience. We’ll change it to “peachy” in the next update!

So I accidentally overwrote a save file with a different one, is there any way I can recover that save? 

Sadly, there isn’t. Not unless you had a backup of the actual save file files in a separate location you can get. I’m really sorry. You can try using the skip feature to quickly speed through the game and get back to where you were though.

Do you try to maintain the color scheme for the clothing throughout the years in Our Life? 

Yes, though in hindsight not as much as I wished I did, haha. It could’ve been a little more cohesive. It was a bit too broad in my opinion.

I noticed that Cliff mentions he wasn’t much older than Cove before finding out he was going to be a father when he finds MC in bed with Cove during Part 3 so doesn’t that Cliff and Kyra were teenage/young parents? 

Yeah, Cliff was nineteen and Kyra was eighteen when Cove was born. They were just a couple of kids.

Does Cove have a favourite holiday? 

It changes depending on the year. Around Step 1 he’s not a huge fan of a lot of holidays because he’s not together with his whole family for them. But once he’s older and Kyra comes around more, he starts appreciating major family holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas more than other holidays because he knows how it feels not to have that. Though summer vacation is of course his most favorite all the time, if that counts as a “holiday”.

I tried to join your patreon but I can’t seem to? The website keeps saying something went wrong and to try again. 

I’m sorry you’re having trouble! I think contacting Patreon support would probably be the best option if the joining process itself is having issues.

How much is it to become a part of your Patreon? I don’t have a lot of money currently but would love to help you out more than just buying the games and dlcs. 

Aw, I appreciate you wanting to support but the Patreon is really optional. You don’t need to push yourself to join if you don’t have extra funds for it. To still answer the question, the tiers are $1, $5, $10, $15, and $20 in USD. Each come with different perks.

I had this idea for a future daughter for the MC and Cove being named "Poppy", after the flowers on their hill~

That’s a really sweet idea! I’m sure Cove would be a fan.

So if you don't mind me asking, how do you get Cove to propose to you in Step 4 and not the other way around? 

I’m afraid that’d be too big of a spoiler to give away before the epilogue’s release, at least in terms of specifics. Generally you’ll just have to be patient and try not to propose first, haha.

will we get to move in with cove in step 4 😮?? or is that a secret 

You can be living together with Cove in Step 4! Though you wouldn’t get to see the place itself. That’s up to your imagination.

Is it bad that I'm completely in love with Cove's dad... What I gotta pay to romance Cliff 😭 (I don't mean as Jamie because that would be wack) 

That’ll cost one million 20 twenty dollar bills, haha. I’m really glad you like him, though sadly we aren’t able to make a separate game where you can romance Cliff. I wish we had enough time to make tons of new scenes/extra stories in the Our Life world, but it just takes too long. Maybe people will make fanworks about it.

—–

We released a new FAQ! It answers common questions and we’ll keep adding more to it. Please check there before sending an ask. FAQ   Also, if you prefer to just see the main posts without all the asks/reblogs, feel free to follow our side account instead: GB Patch Updates Blog  

[mmmleckerlecker]

I was reading the questions you've answered, and I'm curious now: you said that the co-existence between preds and prey is very recently. So I was thinking the HP world from years ago, when pred could snatch up whoever prey they wanted... How was the society in that time? How did they live? (Headcanon: prey lived underground?) Did the preds have no qualms in consuming whoever they could find? (prey children/teens or the elderly, for example?)... The harmony was founded by a prey or pred? (1/2)

What was the reason for the preds to make the jump from consuming indiscriminately to the public/private contracted prey? (another headcanon: preykind severely disminishing in numbers?) I find your worldbuilding so enchanting, I'm sorry for the avalanche of questions. You're awesome! (2/2)

AHHHH YES!!! THE QUESTION I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR!!! No need to apologize!!! I have considered making a post about stuff like this for awhile now but I’m always like “do people REALLY wanna hear all that?” But now i have the perfect excuse. Thank you, anon! You’re awesome too!! (WARNING this kinda turned into a chapter length read. So I hope y’all like to read history about fictional worlds.)

Okay so. This is all stuff I’ve sorta kept in my head and have built upon when I’ve had ideas, so sorry if there are some gaps currently haha.

So I imagine preds and prey started trying to “make peace” about five centuries ago but didn’t start living in true “harmony” until about two hundred years ago. And I use the term “harmony” loosely because clearly there’s still a lot of infighting happening. Before that, the preds and prey lived in two entirely separate cultures. The prey lived in larger, more stationary groups while the preds lived in much smaller, more nomadic groups. They also DEFINITELY didn’t speak the same language.

So for preds, the groups they would live in were more like traveling pods that consisted of maybe 1-3 families living/working together. Having groups of preds getting too large was… not sustainable. It would create too much competition for food. So each group would usually give other groups of preds a wide berth. Granted there were definitely still spats for territory, especially if said territory had a good supply of prey available.

Prey, much like in modern times, were never really the preds’ main food source, however. Preds would still hunt and gather like normal. It would usually take some organizing to get a raid together on a prey village (or a pred could just get lucky and stumble across one that wandered off alone). Consuming prey all the time was just too much effort. They weren’t a practical food source nor a completely sustainable one if they were over-predated. Also! Keep in mind, the more a pred consumes, the more their body acclimates to handling such a large meal. It would be better for the preds to consume every once in awhile and have their prey take longer to digest (hence, keeping them fueled longer) than to consume ALL THE TIME and risk addiction. I think consuming would probably become more regular in the cold months too, when it was harder for preds to find other food sources.

As for WHO the preds would consume? Definitely adults would make for the best meals. Children? Well, I imagine prey would be very protective of their children, first of all, making them difficult to obtain. But also they would just make… not as filling meals? Also prey children are mostly the same size as pred children so there might be that little hesitation there on the pred’s end as they’re reminded of their own kind. I guess if the pred is desperate? There’s always gonna be a time and place for special circumstances. As for the elderly… I imagine they also live in places that are harder for preds to get to. I also think if a prey managed to live that long, they would have a trick or two up their sleeve. But like I said, there’s always a possibility for things to happen.

Now for how prey live…. Like I said, they live in larger groups. There is safety in numbers, after all. These groups were basically villages, sometimes even cities where prey could really know their territory and set up defenses against any invading preds. (An underground dwelling is really cool idea tho! I also believe that prey evolved to be able to fold themselves up and be comfortable/feel safe in tight spaces that preds could never reach them in, so prey living in like a cave system might actually work really well!) Like it’s been stated in the story, prey tend to have a lot more children than preds for “just in case.” This could cause their towns to become rather large and populous sometimes.

Prey, also unlike preds, usually tried to keep in contact with neighboring towns/villages/cities. This was one of the key factors for what made it possible for the shift to both sides living in harmony to happen. Since the prey lived in settlements and kept in contact with other prey settlements, it allowed for a certain development of culture as well as the sharing and recording of knowledge that preds… just didn’t have. Prey were able to develop things like farming and running water. They could study math and science and share their knowledge in libraries and schools. They were really on their way to becoming an advanced society, they just had one big (both figurative and literal) problem holding them back. They constantly had preds attacking and killing off their people.

Despite their efforts to fight them off, the prey just weren’t winning. So they decided, if a war against preds wasn’t going to get them anywhere, then why not make peace? The first step for this was the prey learning the preds’ language. This was… dangerous, of course. But it was done enough that the prey were able to open conversation with preds. Just this move alone caused a huge shift between both sides. What are you supposed to do when your food, which for centuries has only babbled nonsense at you before you swallowed it down, suddenly starts speaking to you like an equal? It certainly gave preds pause, but not enough to stop consuming. Not that the prey didn’t expect this. They approached the preds with more than just a common language. Their first big move was offering them food. And not just any food, but GOOD FOOD. Cooked food, decadent food, spiced foods, foods that preds didn’t have the resources (nor the patience) to prepare.

Sharing food took… probably a little more effort than one might expect. Prey and preds view food fundamentally different. To prey, it’s sustenance but also something to enjoy and connect with. To preds, it’s simply something to stop hunger. There was a sort of learning curve for preds to actually learn to ENJOY food for its flavor, but once they got it… OH BOY!!! A door was opened! Because despite LIKING prey food, the preds weren’t always so good at preparing it, so it gave the prey something they could exchange for safety. (This is also something that persists into modern times. Preds are still often stereotyped as not having very refined palates and not being very good at preparing food. This is referenced a little in Heart Pangs itself as well as the one-shot I posted last week!) Once the food trade became established, it opened up relations enough to exchange other things!

The prey shared would they could with the preds in exchange for their own survival. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn’t. Sometimes it SEEMED to work but then the preds turned on them and things went downhill very quickly. But the prey had the advantage of sheer numbers and determination on their side (that and if they didn’t keep pushing they would literally be eaten alive). It took generations of negotiations, but the preds and prey eventually came to a sort of truce, though consuming never stopped entirely.

The preds weren’t stupid, they saw the prey had a lot of good stuff to offer them. At first they took what they needed and went their separate ways, but as they gained more trust from the prey, the preds encroached more and more into their territories until both sides were more or less neighbors. There were some advantages to this. If both sides cooperated enough, they were able to make further advances as civilized societies. But there were also disadvantages… like the fact that the preds were always bigger and the prey were always making sure not to anger them so it became very easy for the preds to take whatever they wanted and leave the prey with less than they deserved.

The prey even began to lose their own language as most of the preds couldn’t be bothered to learn the prey’s language (although a lot of prey terms for food and science stuck around). The preds stopped being the enemy who lived outside the prey’s walls and suddenly became the bully who lived next door. Yes, technically the prey were a little safer than before, but the advantages they once held over the preds were slipping away as the preds claimed more and more of what the prey had until the preds were able to start developing their OWN advantages.

For a long time, the preds and prey operated as two different societies that lived in one space, meaning each group had their own leaders and their own laws. But as things began getting more and more strained between each side (as they tend to do when two natural enemies live side-by-side), the prey (once more) tried to make peace. They made the bold move of reaching out to the pred leaders in an attempt to work together and function as a singular society (although both sides more or less continued to live as two societies, just under the rule of one government). The preds were surprisingly open to this change, which was a relief to the prey… at first. But then it became clear that this was mostly just a power grab for the preds to acquire more status and wealth and power amongst the prey.

Besides the fact that a lot of prey were falling into poverty because of this, the most glaring issue was that the “unification” had made it even easier for a lot of preds to break the peace and consume prey with barely any consequences. This caused a lot of prey to flee and seek out safer, more remote places to live. Eventually it got to the point where the prey leaders threatened to break away from pred society completely. The preds didn’t like this, though, as they’d gotten very used to having prey within easy reach. They also knew that losing half the people in their society would cause a lot of problems in terms of keeping everything running smoothly. However, the preds very much did not want to give up consuming entirely. It was in their nature after all, they argued.

So after A LOT of negotiations, both sides came to a compromise. The preds would actually start enforcing consuming as something illegal UNLESS the prey being consumed had agreed to it beforehand. Obviously the prey leaders couldn’t see any prey ever AGREEING to being consumed, so they settled on the compromise thinking that was the end of it. This was the true beginning of the “harmony” between preds and prey, but of course, the preds always have something up their sleeves.

Rich preds began offering up money and food and shelter to all those desperate prey in poverty. Those prey could get everything they could ever want for, the only payment was their lives ending in said pred’s gut (after a specified amount of time). These ventures started slow, but once they started to catch on, BOY DID THEY CATCH ON. The desperate prey began hearing about certain preds who were practically giving away wealth, all it took was a signature written in (figurative) blood. Meanwhile preds began hearing about other preds who had found a loophole in the consuming law and wanted in on the action. Like any good entrepreneur, the preds turned their contracts into a business and started selling them to other preds.

The prey leaders, of course, despised this, but what could they do? It all aligned with the compromise they had made. The only thing they could do was stand by and help come up with regulations for this new practice. So they did. Over the decades, the contracting businesses grew to what they are today (large corporate monsters… although the smaller, more private contracts still exist) as well as became the core to keeping the peace. Even the government itself offers contracting services now.

Society has shifted considerably in the years since harmony was reached. The two sides have mostly learned to live with each other. Prey have fought viciously to be treated as equals while a lot of preds go their whole lives without consuming (particularly fatally) even once. And, as you know, the development of neutralizers allowed preds to experience consuming without having to hurt anyone. A lot of progress has been made, but a lot of progress still needs to happen.

And I think that pretty much catches us up to the setting of Heart Pangs (whew)! I keep thinking it would be really cool to write a story that takes places in an earlier time period to further explore how different the relations between preds and prey would be, but I have yet to come up with a plot haha. Maybe someday. I’m sure an idea will come to me at a proper time. Anydays, thank you for your interest! It was really nice to be able to (finally) type all this up somewhere!!

[wiypt-writes]

Stark Spangled Banner

Ch 5: You Make It Easy

Summary: Steve finally takes Katie out on a date.

Pairing: Steve Rogers X OFC Katie Stark

Warnings: Language! And a whole heap of fluffy fluff fluff.

A/N: Once again, a huge thank you to @angrybirdcr​ for her lovely little edit.

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Chapter 4

Stark Spangled Banner Masterlist // Main Masterlist

The elation Steve had felt about actually getting a date with Katie soon evaporated the next morning when he realised he hadn’t the first CLUE about where to take her, what to do or what to wear. He wasn’t naïve, he knew dating had changed since his day but the fact he had no reference point to even start from, having never been on a date before, wasn’t helpful either.  So he sought some advice

“A nice shirt and jeans.” Peggy smiled at him, the old woman elated he had finally done it. “Nothing too flash, and pick a restaurant. It doesn’t have to be fancy, women are more impressed by a man who’s paying them attention instead of simply paying for the meal.”

“Okay, right.”

“You know her, Steve.” Peggy looked at him. “What type of food does she like?”

“Italian, Chinese, but we do that all the time.” He shrugged, before he stopped, suddenly remembering something she had said to Evans a couple of weeks back in exercise, “You know, come to think of it she has mentioned a new place in town. La Placa I think it’s called.” “See, there you go.”  Peggy patted him on his arm before she smiled at the look on the young man’s face “Just be yourself Steve, that’s who she wants. No one else.”

“Thanks Peg.”

“And make sure you kiss her goodnight…” She grinned, a twinkle in her eyes. “Us ladies do like a bit of passion every now and then you know.” He rolled his eyes at her cheekiness, running his hand through his hair which was in desperate need of a cut. He stayed with Peggy whilst he googled the restaurant number, made his reservation and then text Katie to tell her where he had booked.

Can’t wait xxx

He grinned to himself, and then pushed his phone away and turned back to find Peggy watching him, a sly grin on her face.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this happy before.” she remarked, somewhat wistfully

.He smiled “Been a long time since I felt this good.”

“It suits you.” On his way home he swung into the barbers and stepped in. As he sat in the chair the man asked him what he wanted doing, and he was about to say trim when Katie’s voice stirred in his mind.

“Trying to imagine what you’d look like with shorter hair and a beard…” “Shorn back and sides please,” he said as the man asked him what he wanted, “and take it a little shorter on top.”

******

Katie woke suddenly on top of the comforter on her bed, fully clothed. She’d fallen asleep!  She sat up, thinking back to the last thing she remembered before her nap, piecing her train of thought together. Ah, yes, Steve had messaged her to tell her he’d booked a table somewhere which had prompted her to start looking for an outfit. She’d realised she had no idea what to wear so had been debating calling Pepper to ask for advice, but had decided it wasn’t a good idea because she didn’t want Tony to know she was dating yet, let alone who.

But there was someone she could call. Desperate times called for desperate measures, right?

Biting her lip she sighed and picked up her phone, scanning through to the person she was looking for and the cavalry arrived an hour and a half later in the shape of a red-haired deadly assassin.

“There has to be something in here that’s first date suitable…” Natasha mumbled, as she continued to search through the various items in Katie’s closet. Half Katie’s clothes adorned the floor of her walk-in-wardrobe and bedroom as they had discarded everything she’d tried so far. “It would help if I knew where you were going.” she sipped her beer thoughtfully.

“La Placa.” Katie told her after a pause, “Tapas place, but if you turn up I swear to God…”

“I got better things to do with my spare time.” “No you don’t. And I wouldn’t put anything past you.”

“If you don’t trust me why did you ask for my help?“ Natasha drawled, still rifling through the clothing racks. “Because Pepper is a four hour drive away…”

“Well that’s just rude.” Natasha mumbled and Katie grinned, shaking her head as Nat placed her beer down on the top of a set of drawers and moved to a rail “Ok, try this.”

She pulled out a knee length navy blue Balenciaga dress with a fitted top half, scalloped neck line and three-quarter length lace detailed sleeves. As Katie shrugged it on, Natasha hunted in the shoe rack, pulling out a pair of mid-height nude Kurt Geiger courts with a stiletto heel and matching bag.

“Not bad.” She mumbled as Katie stepped into the heels and gave her a twirl.

“Better than the grey one?” “Definitely.” Natasha nodded approvingly “I think we have a winner!”

Katie gave her a double Hi-Five and Nat picked up her beer as Katie stripped out of the dress and pulled on her T-shirt and shorts, before she glanced around the large bedroom, sighing at the mess.

“Better tidy this up in case things go well.” Nat smirked, before she pondered “Huh, actually, do you reckon Captain America puts out on the first date? Mind you, knowing Roger’s he’s probably a virgin…”

“I’m pretty sure people had casual sex back in the 40s too you know.” Katie rolled her eyes. “He was on the USO tours surrounded by dancing girls, there’s no way he didn’t do the old horizontal tango.”

“Yeah but…its Rogers.” Nat pressed giving a snort “Imagine if you are the one to pop his cherry.”

Katie groaned, shaking her head. “Shut up Widow.”

She smirked “Okay, so how long have we got?”

Katie glanced at her phone “An hour and twenty. And what do you mean we?” “You asked for my help, right?” Natasha shrugged, “Thought I could do your make-up and hair too…” Katie looked at her for a moment and smiled “Thanks.” She shrugged then drained her beer before turning Katie round and pushing her towards the en-suite “Go shower then we’ll start the transformation.”

An hour later Katie was ready. Her hair was curled in soft waves, and her makeup was done, a bit heavier than normal, but still subtle enough to avoid looking like it had been applied with a trowel.

“Perfect.” Nat gave her an appraising look. “Right, I trust you can get dressed without me?” “I think I’ll manage.” Katie said, standing up as she made her way out of the walk-in wardrobe and followed her into the hall where she picked up her jacket.

“Oh and if you need me to bail you, just give me an SOS call…” Nat made a phone sign with her finger and pinkie by her ear. “I think I’ll be ok.” Katie smiled, “but thank you, for all of this.”

“Have fun…” Nat grinned and then added with a smirk “And don’t do anything I wouldn’t”

“That doesn’t exactly leave a lot…” Katie quipped

“That’s my point.” Natasha intoned as she walked into the hall and pressed the button for the elevator.

“Nat, you won’t tell anyone will you?” Katie asked, “I mean, it isn’t that I don’t trust you, just…” Nat paused turning back to the brunette to find her chewing her lip with nerves. She shook her head “I won’t tell a soul. I know how much you two like each other, you’ve been dancing around it for months, so… just enjoy ok? Have a good time. You both deserve it.” “Thanks Nat” Katie smiled. The two girls shared a quick hug and then Nat left

***** Steve had to admit, he liked his new hair. It was much more like the style people sported now, but in a way it also reminded him of how Bucky had worn his back in the Howlies. He picked a light blue shirt, his dark navy jeans and then pondered before settling on a pair of brown boots that matched his jacket and belt. He was ready with plenty of time and found himself pacing as he thought about how the night could go. There was no doubt it was going to be way different to how he had imagined his first date to be. Back in his day it was movies, dinner and a dance. Now there were no dance halls, and they watched movies all the time. But, as Peggy had advised, for once he was going to “go with the flow” and just see where the night took them both.

Finally, after an agonising fifteen minutes during which he had pretty much paced non-stop and drained a good measure of scotch, even though it did nothing bar give him a comforting burn in his throat on the way down, he headed to the cab that was waiting and they set off to pick up his date.

Jesus Christ she looked amazing. Her hair was cascading in waves over her shoulders, the smoky brown eyeshadow she was wearing made the green in her eyes even more noticeable. And her dress…navy blue, knee length with a detailed neckline and sleeves that finished halfway down her forearms. The top half clung to her body where it flared out slightly from her hips and her heels accentuated her shapely calves to perfection. As Steve looked at her he found himself imagining various crude scenarios where said delectable dress ended up on the floor, but that wasn’t gentlemanly. Nor appropriate.

Katie felt her breath catch when she saw Steve. His light blue shirt was tight enough to accentuate his ridiculously well-built top half, and a brown belt with a gold buckle adorned his toned waist. And he’d had a haircut. Gone were his longer locks and side parting, and in its place was a short back and sides with slightly longer strands on the top, tousled into an exceptionally modern style. He looked incredible.

Steve broke the silence between the two, clearing his throat gently.

“You look beautiful.” He leaned down to give her a peck on the cheek.

“Thank you, you look pretty good yourself, you do something to your hair?” Katie teased.

“Thought it was time for a change.” he shrugged it off casually as his cheeks warmed. “Still getting used to it.” “It looks great.” she assured him.

He beat her to her jacket as she reached up to take it off the peg and held it out so she could shrug her arms into it. Once they were in the elevator, he reached out and took her hand and she laced her fingers into his. He glanced down at her, his eyes meeting hers and she flashed him a smile.

Yeah, he’d lucked out, big time.

******

The restaurant was busy but not packed. They were seated at the back in a little booth in the corner. Steve had never had tapas before, but Peggy had explained it to him before.

“So the idea is we pick, what, three or four dishes?” he asked, looking at Katie

“Yeah, they’re like small portions and you share.” Katie nodded. “Although you eat like a horse so we should probably order more.”

He grinned and looked back at his menu.

“You choose.” he placed the card back down eventually, beaten by the list of items. “I literally have no idea…”

“Alright.” Katie grinned. “But you have to try everything…”

“Deal.”

The waiter returned with their drinks and took their food orders. Katie ordered a large enough selection along with a side order of olives and different breads with dipping oils before flashing the waiter a smile and he scuttled off.

“I think this is normally the part where we ask each other questions,” Steve said as the waiter disappeared. “You know, get to know each other a bit more.”

“Yeah… think that ship already sailed though.”

“True,” Steve nodded bashfully, there wasn’t many things that they didn’t know about each other, although as he watched Katie was biting her lip, almost as if she wanted to say something, but at the same time didn’t.

“What is it?” he asked, reaching out for his drink.

“Something Nat said before…” Katie flushed, caught out. There was no way she was asking that question.

“Why does this worry me slightly?” He paused, beer raised halfway to his lips.

Katie looked at him and shook her head, the flush continuing to rise up her neck “Yeah, I’m not, it’s not first date conversation.”

He cocked his head to one side. “Now I’m extremely worried, and a little intrigued.”

“You really want to know?” Katie cocking her head to one side and when he nodded she shrugged. “Alright, you asked for this…” she straightened up in the seat as he did the same, bracing himself. “Are you a virgin?”

Steve groaned and screwed his eyes shut. “No, I’m not.” He sighed shaking his head before he looked back at her. "After I first got the serum there was suddenly all this attention on me and I didn’t really know any better…” “There was no one before?” she frowned slightly, almost as if she was surprised.

He shook his head again. “Girls weren’t exactly interested in me before hand, Bucky was the one who had the looks and the swag. He had a different girl every weekend. I guess when they finally did start looking at me that way I just, I dunno…” He stopped and took a breath. “God, this makes me sound like a right jerk. There weren’t that many”

Three to be exact. And none of them had been anything to write home about. He got the distinct impression they hadn’t particularly enjoyed themselves either, not past the fact they could boast about having bedded Captain America. Plus, he was infatuated by Peggy at that point as well and found he craved the tenderness that was supposed to be associated with the act, not merely the physical bliss. As corny as it sounded, he genuinely wanted someone to be with him intimately that wanted him, not Captain America.

As he watched, he noticed Katie was watching him intently and he swallowed a little as she simply shrugged. .

“We all have a past Steve.”

“I haven’t been with anyone since I came out of the ice.” He added softly, feeling the need to explain that he wasn’t that type of man.

“I haven’t since Grant.” she eyed him. “One night stands are overrated.”

“I wouldn’t know.” He shrugged, locking eyes with her. “That’s all I ever had.”

Katie studied him for a moment. She had no idea why, but to learn he hadn’t had a girl that way before he became some kind of war time celebrity, and knowing that the ones he had been with were probably chasing nothing but the kudos of being able to say they fucked Captain America, made her kind of sad. No wonder he was always so self-doubting.

She smiled and reached across the table, giving his hand a squeeze.

“Well, personally, I think all those girls that picked Bucky over you were dumbasses. I’ve seen the photos of you before all this happened…” she raised her free hand and held out her index finger, and gestured up and down his torso. “You were sweet”

He chuckled and took a drink of his beer. “You know I heard that a lot…you’re really sweet and all but…“

“Like I said…”she leaned back in her chair slightly, “Dumbasses” Steve was aware that her ankle was brushing against his slightly and he felt the warm flush in his cheek at her forwardness, but soon found it disappeared and was replaced instead with simply enjoying the fact she wanted to be so close to him.

As tactful as ever, Katie swiftly moved the conversation on and it took a natural turn to Tony’s renovation of the tower and then New York in general, how much Brooklyn in particular had changed since Steve had left it behind to go to war.

It was through this conversation Steve discovered that in all the time Katie had spent in New York she had never been to Coney Island.

“Maybe I could take you one day, down to the fair.” He suggested.

“I’d love that.” She smiled and his chest swelled even more.

Their food arrived and they continued to talk. And, considering they had started the date off thinking there wasn’t much more to find out about each other, both of them were surprised to see exactly how much trivial stuff there was to learn about the other. For instance, Steve knew that Katie enjoyed baseball but what he didn’t know was that whilst Tony was a Yankees fan, she actually supported the LA Dodgers, having grown up in Malibu. Suddenly her teasing about the fact they had moved made perfect sense. And in turn, Katie knew that the Dodgers relocating was a bug bear of his but, since he would rather go into the ice all over again than support the Yankees, he had started watching out for the Mets results, but apparently it just wasn’t the same and as such he hadn’t been to an actual game since he came out of the ice. Both of them found out the other preferred dogs to cats, cats making Katie sneeze and their ability to hiss and scratch you with no damned warning whatsoever made Steve not trust them as far as he could throw them. 

“I can just read the headlines now!” Katie chuckled after Steve had added that if he wanted to he could probably throw a cat quite far. “Captain America killed my Cat.” Steve let out a low chuckle, shaking his head as he picked up his beer. “Don’t cats always land on their feet?” “I dunno, depends how hard you’re intending on throwing it.” “I’m not intending on throwing any cat anywhere.” Steve shook his head “As much as I don’t like them I couldn’t deliberately harm one.” “Tony did. Well not deliberately, and he didn’t so much harm it as kill it…” “Oh you gotta tell me this story!” Steve grinned, leaning forward, topping up Katie’s wine glass from the bottle that was in the ice bucket in the middle of the table.

Katie grinned, “When we were kids, the first place we lived in was down this huge, posh road  with like 3 other houses on and we had this really eccentric neighbour, Mrs Livesy her name was. She had like 18 cats or something ridiculous and one morning, Tony was reversing the car out of the garage and he flattened 2 of them.”

Steve nearly spat his beer back into his glass. “He ran them over?” “Yeah…” Katie said, and by now she was full on laughing “But the best bit is, she comes round asking Dad if he’s seen the cats, dad’s got no idea what’s gone on right as Tony’s moved the cats and bribed me to keep quiet with the biggest ice cream you could imagine, so dad is all like ‘I’ve got no idea Mrs Livesy I’ll be sure to keep my eyes open…” Katie took a deep breath, wiping at her eyes “So then Tony comes back, Dad mentions that Mrs Livesy was looking for 2 of her cats and Tony’s like ‘huh, well you know what they say, curiosity killed the cat’ and me, being the little shit I was at the age of 4 pipes up ‘no that was you this morning, remember?’”

Steve laughed, and watched as she carried on giggling. “He never forgave me for that, Dad made him go round and apologise. And he had to attend a memorial for Mr Whiskers and Bagpuss…”

Eventually after desert and a few more drinks it was time to leave, Katie tried to split the meal bill with Steve but one stern look stopped that in its tracks. This was a date, he was paying. Thankfully she didn’t argue too much. Steve then asked her if she wanted to go for a drink, she gleefully accepted so he took her hand, gently leading her across the road, holding the bar door open for her. They both sat at the bar, Katie turning her seat so she was directly facing him, the pair of them leaning closer to one another as they talked. And the conversation just continued to flow, as did the odd but subtle display of affection, moving their chairs closer together, her hand on his shoulder. Steve was surprised to find how easy the whole thing was. He had no nerves, no awkward moments. The chemistry fizzled and there wasn’t a single moment he was stuck for anything to say. It was for that reason he was disappointed when the bar tender called time and reluctantly stood up as Katie drained the final bit of gin from her glass.

As Steve held out her jacket, his hands gently brushed her shoulders as she shrugged it on, sending a tingle down her spine and the hitch in her breathing didn’t go unnoticed. She turned to face him, all green eyes and pink lips, blinking as her eyes locked onto his and before he could stop them, his hands connected at the base of her spine as she moved closer to him, not moving her gaze from his, hand resting on his chest.

“I’d really like to kiss you again…” Steve said, shyly.

“You know you don’t have to ask.” she replied. Smiling softly he leaned down and connected his lips with hers, the kiss growing slightly deeper until Steve remembered they were in the middle of a public bar. He pulled away gently, resting his forehead against hers briefly, blushing like an absolute moron as a small smile tugged on the corners of his mouth.

“You know, for someone who said they’d never taken a woman on a date before Rogers, you’ve done amazingly well.” she blinked up at him, grinning.

“That’s because you make it easy to be around you.” He shrugged, honestly. He took her hand, curled his fingers round hers and made their way out into the street to hail a cab.

All too soon they pulled up outside her apartment block and both of them found themselves wishing the night would never end. Steve told the driver to wait whilst he hopped out and walked her into the lobby, their hands still twined together. There was a part of him that wanted to follow her in, and a part of her that almost invited him to, but they both wanted to do this right, take their time.

“I think now is the part where I’m supposed to ask you if you had a good time.” Steve turned to face her as they stopped by the elevator door.

“I did.”

“And if you’d go out with me again?” “I already said I would, Coney Island remember?” she replied cheekily, leaning closer to him.

“I meant before that.”  He rolled his eyes.

“I’d love too.” She muttered, and then his lips were on hers again and they were kissing, exactly where they had left off in the bar, only this time they were alone. Steve’s hand snaked into her soft hair, angling her head slightly and she parted her lips, their tongues tangling easily as once more the fireworks erupted deep in Steve’s belly.

“Always leave ‘em wanting more Stevie…” Bucky said, nudging him on the arm, winking as they crossed the fairground towards the girls “That’s the trick…”

Steve couldn’t stop himself from smiling he pulled back. Their night was at an end, it was a perfect place to leave it.

“I really did had a great time tonight, thank you.” Katie whispered as he pressed his forehead to hers, giving her lips another quick peck before he stepped back a little and she reached into her bag for her key card, pressing it to the pad by the elevator.

“Me too.” He smiled as the elevator doors opened. She stepped inside, turning to face him and flashed him another grin.

“Night Stevie.”

“Night, Sweetheart.” He replied as the doors shut. With that, he turned round and grinning to himself he walked back to the cab. Date 1 down, and it had been a roaring success.

**** Chapter 6

**Original Posting**

[originalcontent]

Aww heck, I never posted about Marble Nest! Let’s talk about Marble Nest. We played it, we got all four endings, there were a couple things I maybe wanted to try but we didn’t but that’s okay, it would be pretty easy to replay. A couple thoughts.

As a player character, Daniil makes for a very very different playstyle than Artemy. It’s wild how all the actual mechanics of the game can be the same and yet such slight tweaks can change the feeling of the game so much. Like how everyone talking to you but how almost no one trading with you makes the whole town seem completely different.

Daniil sees the town as a chessboard and Artemy sees it as a body. This Daniil seems to know a lot fewer people than Artemy knew.

The pacing is also very interesting. The whole “time to make your nightly rounds” thing, is that something Daniil does? Is that part of his gameplay loop?

Coming out of having just finished Pathologic 2, wherein everyone’s constantly bitching at and/or trying to kill Artemy every four seconds, playing as Daniil felt like a fucking power trip. People are like “hey can you do this please” and I’m like “...wait can I do this? I can just do this??” 

I think overall I prefer playing as Artemy, although maybe I was just more accustomed to it.

Daniil is a BITCH.

No seriously, when playing Pathologic, I felt kind of bad about continually dragging Daniil because deep down there was always this little part of me that was like “you know he’s just trying his best, same as you, he doesn’t deserve all this shit you’re throwing at him” but now that I’ve gotten to walk a mile in his shoes I can definitively say that he absolutely deserved all of the shit I was throwing at him, and also I think Artemy deserved to punch him once. (After that they can go back to being friends/lovers/colleagues, however you interpret them, but he should get to punch him once.)

Okay enough about Artemy, he’s didn’t even appear in this game.

Wait one last thing, in the list of townsfolk it showed Artemy as having a name rather than being called “Haruspex”, but in the main game Daniil was listed as “Bachelor”? 

God, that list. Seeing so many dead kids. :( Daniil you did not protect my children. Oh, Mark Immortell was there and was in danger, in the Bachelor route am I allowed to let him die from the plague, is that a thing I can do, please? My besties Lara, Bad Grief, and Victor were also dead, but Stakh was alive! I tried to visit him but I couldn’t, the game doesn’t let you cross the river even if you go alllllll the way around it. I tried to find Aglaya too but couldn’t.

Seeing the town map was so heartbreaking. Quarantining the stone yard and letting everyone else die is a pretty pragmatic decision bUT ALSO!!!!!! My KIDS.

The loop was neat, how everyone kept saying you were dead and how you didn’t know why until the end, and I loved how the town kind of was your body. (Do the fires mean you’re feverish? Does the cold mean you’re dying?) This game has always been excellent about how it nests themes within themes and symbols within symbols, and Marble Nest was no exception.

Kind of hilarious tho how the ultimate theme is “if you don’t want your favorite character to die, just stop reading the book, or maybe start over and reread the parts where they’re still alive forever.” Turns out you really can beat death Daniil, good job. :)

(“But wait! I may be a fictional character, but the disease which kills me is also fictional! AU in which it’s not real fuck you” Honestly what did I expect coming from the same people who had a plot-critical messenger murdered offscreen by the understudy of the protagonist.)

This character’s themes seem to be very lofty. Again, I think I vibed more with the more grounded side of things, but I love metafuckery so you know.

That time I was in that house and I was like “I might need to check out some rooms” and the other guy was like “here, I have the master key” and hands me a lockpick, I actually laughed. Incredible.

The PANTOMIME. God that was such a vibe. Compared to everything else in Pathologic, it was so animated! I do love the “you’re heartless, come back to me when you have a heart” and then in the next loop I hand them a human heart and they’re like “.....dude, have you ever heard of a fucking metaphor, holy shit why are you giving me this.”

The CLOAK. The MASK. The S A N D A L S. Hhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Wearing the ensemble and literally being immune to the plague zone, I was like “wow this is fucking op how is this even allowed” although I guess Marble Nest was also written so that you can last the whole game on literally one piece of toast.

It was so weird to go around places where I know twyre grows and not hear any bugs. I did take a nice incredibly long walk through the steppe just to see how far the game would let me go though, because it was nice and pretty and who the fuck has time for that while in Pathologic? 

I didn’t really talk much before with Georgiy Kain, but fuuuuuuck what is wrong with that guy? If Daniil’s been hanging out with him, I can fucking understand why he became obsessed with the polyhedron at the end.

And Aspity, oh god I have so many questions, what are you, I don’t think we ever cleared that up.

And Shrew! What’s her deal?? There were actually a lot of very memorable NPC’s who didn’t even have their own custom designs.

I don’t know much about Pathologic 1 but I think Eva killed herself in the Bachelor route? Does that mean she’s going to die in this Bachelor route if it ever comes out? I mean presumably Marble Nest already deviates from that game quite a bit since I don’t think Artemy dies in it (and I don’t think Daniil does either.)

Gee Daniil! How come your mom lets you have two funerals?

A little sad Changeling never came by to say hi, I would have liked to see her. Although I guess she’s busy trying to save my ass irl. I know I remembered seeing the steam page for Marble Nest earlier and being like “huh that’s sort of a strange poster for the game, isn’t Artemy supposed to be dead?” And then I played it and I just took a moment and turned to my sister and was like “hey look at this” and she was like “...yup that’s literally the game.”

Overall it was a fun time. Very short comparatively, very clever. 

[moodymidnightkitten]

Spark

A/N: Woof, what a busy holiday season, well anyways I’m back and new binging Black Clover, so heres my official fan application, an almost 2k fanfic for Zora Ideale. 

Genre: fluff

w/c: 1939

Synopsis: reader from the real human universe lands herself in the Black Clover Universe (I could describe this more but I’m pulling blanks, feedback on how to make this better after y’all read this, that would be great.)

Pair: Zora Ideale x Reader

Ope heres my masterlist 

Ugh god, what time is it? You asked, rubbing your head, sitting on cold hard ground outside. A completely different place from where you were, napping in a cozy warm bed at home in, reality? You've seen enough anime to know that this definitely not the normal home setting you're used to. But what anime? You looked around, doing a complete 180 and coming face to face with the one and only Black Bulls hideout. 

"No fucking way," you mumbled to yourself. What in the magical hell is this? Also, what the hell are you supposed to do now? 

"Ooooo who are you?!" A memorable voice chimed in behind you. Turning around you came face to face with no other than Asta. 

You scratched the back of your head and gave the most non convincing fake smile you could muster up in this situation. Completely flustered and star struck. 

"Oh, I uhm, my name is y/n," you gave a measly laugh. 

"Are you a spatial magic user? You just fell from the sky?!" He loudly stated. You knew there was only one clear cut way into figuring out your situation. 

"Actually no, I don't even know how I got here, but do you think you'd be able to get me to the Wizard King, he might be able to help.." you suggested. 

Astas eyes lead beyond you through your request, you didn't feel it until now but a towering and looming figure was now behind you, with a voice that most certainly matched the profile, it was Yami, the captain of the Black Bulls. 

"Oi, you'd have better luck with me, Asta, you're to come with us," was all he said as he walked past you and grabbed onto Astas collar and pulled him with him as well. Everything happened so quickly you had to do a light jog to catch up with them. 

"I really appreciate this, thank you," you said in between huff's of air trying to fill your lungs back up. 

"Your clothes are a give away to your difference in upbringing. As well as I watched you just fall, so I also want to know how you got to 'this world'' Yami was short and to the point, as he's always portrayed. 

"Well I appreciate this a lot Captain Yami and Asta," as soon as you said their names Yami stopped walking. 

"How do you know who we are?" He grumbled in confusion. 

"You won't believe me when I tell you but, this place, and everyone here is actually a show, more namely, an anime where I'm from," you probably sounded crazy. Actually not probably, most certainly because the two men looked at each other and laughed the most hearty laugh you've ever heard. And so with everything being said, all three of you continued you way to see the Wizard King.

After meeting with the Wizard King who basically certified that you're from another plane of existence who entrusted Yami to watch over you. Although you're not from here the wizard king ensured that you came here with magic powers. So now you were a part of the Black Bulls. 

But now you were stuck with living with one of your anime men crushes. Zora Ideale. It's not like you've never been around men you were attracted to, but this is just on some whole new level. This was fictional beauty and desire come true. 

Those were the only thoughts going through your head on top of the fact you now had to learn your new magical powers and make yourself an asset to your new team. It's only stressful because it's time and space magic. So what, are you now Doctor fucking Strange? It made your head hurt thinking about it all too much. What's even more intense is the fact you bent realities while SLEEPING. How in the hell were you going to figure all of that out. But hey, at least you have a pretty nice grimoire. Black marble with gold tripping and a dazzling black diamond looking clover embedded on the cover. 

“Ah, finally back,” You heard Yami exasperate as you three came up to the base. Pushing open the doors and allowing you and Asta to walk inside. Everyone else of the Black Bulls was busy doing whatever they usually do as you walked in, Yami stopped shortly ahead of you and yelled. 

“Alright, listen up fuckers, we have a new member today, this is y/n, make yourself acquainted. Finral, bathroom.” Was all he said as Finral rushed over, stars dancing in his eyes upon looking at you.  You smiled back at him as Vanessa wrapped herself around your shoulders, clad in only lingerie with a bottle of cheap wine in her free hand. 

“Oooo where did you get such an outfit?! So cute!” Vanessa said, slowly peeling herself away from you and taking you all in, slowly but surely everyone else introduced themselves and bombarded you with questions, all except Zora, who seemed to be sleeping on the couch across the room very obviously trying to ignore the whole situation. Luckily enough for you Asta made his introduction for him so now it wouldn’t be weird for you to know who he was already. 

“Let me show you around!” Asta exclaimed, eagerly walking ahead of you, you followed him, taking one small peek behind you at the handsome masked man laying on the couch, who was actually peering at you through slitted eyes, causing a blush to paint on your cheeks as you quickly looked ahead of you and pressing your grimoire to your chest. All you heard behind you with a small chuckle causing your small blush into a blazing one. 

You got settled in very quickly and spent most of your days getting along and getting to know mostly everyone on the team. It was nice, you didn’t feel out of place and you’ve actually been able to use a little bit of magic here and there with the help of everyone around you. Of course thoughts of live at home, normal real home crept into your mind but you were practically begging to be in some new reality and experience the unreal, and now look, your sheer will bent the universes and landed you here. Could you really complain? 

At the current moment in time you were sitting on your own reading in the main common area while everyone else was either on a mission or also enjoying their time off. Except Zora, who quite unusually will just chill against the wall or on the couch when he isn't in town or traveling about to mess around with dirty nobles. But right now felt more intense, like someone was staring at you, and not just someone, but Zora, his piercing gaze felt like no other. It was like a scientist waiting for a rat to do something out of the normal. You turned in your seat and to no surprise there he was with his sea blue eyes just peering at you, causing the ever so common raging blush to paint your face, but you weren’t going to let that stop you from confronting him. 

“If you’re going to stare at me you might as well take a picture of me cretin,” you boldly stated, turning back in your seat. Why did you have to call him a cretin? What normal person just calls people cretins? Luckily he must have not taken offense because he was laughing and he walked over and sat next to you. 

“Cretin? Interesting way of flirting with me Cherry,” you looked down from your book and saw him with his head in his hand. His witty comeback against you was very obviously a job at how red your cheeks got when you were around him. 

“Well I wasn’t flirting with you, Match Book,” a stupid jab at has his hair looked also wasn’t the way to go but I guess this classic middle school back and forth flirting was how it was going to go. And it seemed to be the best option available because you now felt more comfortable in his presence and it seemed you two were getting along. 

“What do you want anyways Zora?” You asked, shutting your book and placing it on the table. He raised his eyebrow. 

“Let’s go for a walk,” with that he stood up without waiting for an answer and made his way to the door. Quickly you got up and followed him. You two didn’t speak for a bit as you walked, eventually you two came up to a small lake a few hundred feet from the base, Zora sat down in one of the clear patches, you decided to take up residence a few inches away. 

“This is beautiful,” you smiled, looking out to the peaceful lake glistening in the evening sun. 

“It is, but not as much as you.” Zora said, so blatant and straight forward. And if your face has never been this red and on fire before, well it was now. You didn’t even know you stopped breathing until, well, you needed air. 

“What..?” You looked at him as he was still peering at the lake.

“Oi, I’m not going to repeat myself,” Zora said in the most disgruntled way. 

“You’re different, everything about you, you don’t know what youre doing, you’re clumsy, your cheeks get this cozy red when I’m around, you radiate this positive do good energy and I’m drawn to it, I’ve been watching you since you got here, you’re intriguing,” he kept talking so honestly it made you wonder when he would ever stop flattering you, before you could say anything he said one last thing. 

“I want to get to know you.” He finally looked at you wearing a weak smile with a blazing blush that was so strong it krept a bit up and past his mask. 

“That was a lot, all at once, and to say I don’t feel anything back would be a lie, personally you radiate lawful chaotic energy but it's fun, I want to get to know you better as well.” You smiled and so didn’t he as you two looked back to the lake. You two sat there peacefully before being interrupted by someone gracefully coming through a spatial magic portal, wearing robes you know all too well, braided hair and the obvious facial marking, Licht. 

“Y/n, I see you’ve arrived,” he said calmly. “You probably don’t know who I am, but I know all about you,” dread filled your body like a subzero frost striking your bones. 

“I know who you are. What do you want.” Licht smiled at you. 

“I want to show you why you’re here,” he offered once he got closer but before you knew it Zora jumped in between you two. 

“Listen freakshow, she’s not going anywhere with you,” You could see every muscle in Zoras body tense in front of you, the tip of your nose practically touching his back. Licht chuckled.

“Hmm? I wasn’t offering,” Before you could even blink Zoras body was thrown away and now nothing stood in between you and Licht and before you knew it a force hit your body so hard you blacked out, slowly but surely phasing in and out of sleepy, your name was being yelled and fading out in the background and you felt you body being raised off the ground, the last thing you saw was Zora reaching out to you as much as he could, fingertips grazing upon your own as you slipped out of consciousness.

[maemi324]

Burned With Flowers

Hey friends guess Who’s back on their bullshit? It’s me.  This is an Alternate ending from my recent fic Burned, which you can read here! (I’ve beat my previous record of 14 pages with...19 pages) This takes place towards the end of Burned, rather than the beginning.

So this has the same disclaimer as last time. “So this involves witches, as you might have guessed. I did do some research on this, referencing a few holidays. With that being said, this is not the fic to go to looking for accurate information about Pagan Holidays, their differences, similarities and all the right customs. This is all mixed in with some fictional things that I felt helped the story flow. If you want an accurate description of their holidays, practices, beliefs, please go do your own research, or ask someone that knows about them, as that person is not me.”

Warnings:  Character Deaths (kind of) vague descriptions of death, witch hunt, stakes, fire. If there’s anymore you can think of, please tell me and I’ll happily edit and add to it here.

Thank you so much! Enjoy!

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.

It had been four years since that Solstice, the two of you now adults. A year or two after becoming lovers, Izuku had finally found someone to train him into becoming a knight, a real hero. It meant that you would see him less, but he would always write to you when he could. 

You were saddened at the news, but also so proud. Finally after all these years, his dream was coming true. He promised you that he would always come back to you, that once he had become a knight, able to help you build your own healing stand in the main city, he’d properly ask you to marry him. You knew he always kept his promises, one way or another. 

How could you deny him his dream? You couldn’t truthfully.

That brought you here, scratching out another day along the talley you made. Only a few more days until Izuku came back. You helped your father run the shop now, almost fully taking over as the village healer. You braced the day with a smile as the regulars came in, such as the usual ointments for Mrs.Tachibana. Some medicine to a mother of some poor twins who had caught some sickness during the season's change to spring. Their medicine was a wooden spoon covered in semi-crystalized honey for the wailing babe, their teeth slowly but surely coming in.

The morning rush could hardly be considered as such, your doors opening right at the first peak of dawn. You waved off the last of the morning patrons in no time at all. You bend down to grab a few herbs, mixing something to help soothe Mr.Yamada’s vocal chords. You hear the door push open, pulling you from your line of thought, your eyes meeting bright green.

“Izuku!” you cry, rushing over to him, arms wrapped around his shoulders in the tightest hug you could manage. He’d grown so much taller than you last remembered- well just bigger in general! He’d bulked up considerably- he joked he wanted to get better at giving hugs along with being a Knight- and was now a full two heads taller than you. You only pull back to place your hands on his jaw, pulling him down to kiss you properly.

“Did I surprise you?” he laughed, pressing another kiss to your forehead.  “Yes! You weren’t due back for a few more days! Oh I’m so happy your home!” You stood back up on your toes to press more kisses to his face. “Tell me everything!”

He told you all about the training he went through- hell as he called it, eyes looking back with a slight fondness that only nostalgia could bring- the antics he and some other knights in training had gotten into. His teacher, Aizawa, was a hard man, but ultimately soft hearted in his own way. He couldn’t wait for you to meet the friends he had made, and you were excited to see them.

“I have heard some...other things though” he hesitated, leaning against the counter as you finished Mr.Yamada’s medicine, the yellow glow from your hands dimming until it was no more. “In the city they’re telling stories of witches...and not good ones either.” you hummed in agreement, concern laced into your features.

You’d heard of rumors of witches in nearby towns and villages. At first, nothing was seemingly worrisome about it. So some covens had decided to announce their place in the world, big deal.

Until the rumors had become something dark. Stories of sacrifices, hexes and curses upon innocent bystanders, children. Soon there were rumors of witches in every town, every village.

“Even the people here have started to become...nervous” beforehand, the villagers not a part of your coven had nothing to fear from you, you’d never given them any reason to. But these new witches, witches that were said to be everywhere, brought fear into your community. 

“I’m worried Izuku, they’ve started burning people in the next few towns...I’m not sure what we could do, a show of our magic could scare them into a frenzy, but not doing anything could be just as bad. They even have a witch hunter!” you set down the pestle gently, Izuku taking your hand in his.

“I’m worried too. But for right now, the best we can do is wait and see how things go. No matter what, I’ll always be here, you won't go through this alone.” your heart fluttered warmly at his words, pressing a kiss to his hand.

The next few days did little to raise or diminish your worries. You walked about the village, showing him what all had changed in his absence, ignoring the stares of the same village girls that had teased your dress all those years ago. 

It didn’t take until the end of the week to see the tensions were rising, but he waited anyway.

Where once the baker had a loaf for everyone and a smile on his face, now only held suspicion in his face, fear slowly absorbing its way into the bread's now slightly bitter taste.

You held onto Izuku’s arm, hand gripping just a little bit tighter as the village boys, the ones who had always teased you, passed by, eyes cold and a whittling knife sitting aimlessly in one's hand. Izuku placed his arm around you, handing you the bread as your hand let go of his shirt. 

Normally, you’d hardly pay those boys any mind, they were your age looking forward to life just as you were. But fear could lead to even the wisest man to make a fatal mistake. Your mother taught you that fear was not a one-way street, your own actions in fear of the other could lead to the same road as the wise man. 

You didn’t utter a word to one another as you made your way back home, cold spring wind almost pushing you to go faster as morning dew soaked your shoes. It wasn’t safe to speak the words you needed to, not with the village's eyes and ears hanging onto your every word.

Your cheeks burned as you closed the door behind you, the warmth from the fire a stark contrast to the chill in the air. Izuku took the bread from you as you slipped out of your damp shoes, setting it on the table, sending a polite smile your mother's way.

“Oh, thank you Izuku” She smiled, exhaustion tugging at the corners of her lips. She flipped through the letters in her hand, offering him two.

“You’re quite popular with letters today,” she joked, holding a separate letter up to the morning light to see it better.

“Oh, thank you (Y/M/N)” he said, taking a seat across from her as he opened the first of the two, a frown settling on his face.

You walk over towards him, bare feet padding against the floor, hands rubbing against stiff shoulders. You press your cheek against his temple, offering comfort to him without reading the letter yourself. “What is it darling?” you ask softly. 

Dread pooled in your stomach, weighing heavily as you recognized the insignia placed on the stamp, the Knights. Your hands dug into his shoulders, but he hardly seemed to mind. He carefully broke the seal, careful not to rip the parchment. He was quiet as he read the note, his shoulders becoming more tense as he did.

“I’m being called back; It seems as though these witch trials are becoming more serious, and we’ve been asked to root them out to end all of this” His voice sounds far away, you could practically feel his mind whirling at all the letters' information. “ I’m to leave at dawn to meet with the rest of them, when we’re together, we’ll ride out to the town they were last in, these troublemakers, which happens to also be where these witch trials are at their worst.” he glances up at you, placing a hand over yours. You’re not sure what expression you're making currently, but it obviously shows the weight of the news, of him having to leave.

You didn’t want him to go, as selfish as that was. You knew it was for the  better but... you were scared to just get bread by yourself not too long ago! Would the village boys have harassed you if you were alone? Would the baker have refused to give the bread to you? What if these ‘witches’ came to your town just as he left, what would you do then? Your mother cleared her throat, snapping you from your panic induced daze, your grip on his shoulders relaxing, she returned to her letters.

You shook your head, your free hand picking up the next letter, ignoring his questioning glance, “Here, read this one before we talk about anything else. It could be important too.” 

He doesn’t press you just yet, complying and opening the letter, his concern morphing into a frown. You don’t verbally ask, your eyes looking to his for an answer.

“It’s my mom, she says that she’s coming here…” he murmured as viridian eyes scanned the rest of the page. His mother was coming over? You didn’t see why that was an issue in itself, aside from the fact that he was leaving tomorrow morning, she was probably coming to see him after all. Though she still visited even when he wasn’t there, taking the time to enjoy long chats with your parents.

“Really? Oh I’ll have to get out her favorite tea,” She glanced up from her own letters, concerned gaze matching Izuku’s, “Though, your expression says that her reason for coming is not a good one?” 

“The town has started to become...nervous of her, claiming that she could possibly be a witch by  association,” he frowned, his other hand crumpling up the string that the letter had come with,  “They haven’t done anything to her, but she isn’t going to wait for them to.”

You gently take the letter from his hand, his hands allowing it to slip from his grasp, reading over it yourself, rereading the text, “She should be here by sundown. She didn’t want to arrive unannounced.” 

Your mother laughed softly as she set down her letters and stood, “Ah, just like Inko, not wanting to inconvenience anyone even in times like these” irritation flashed in Izuku’s system-this wasn’t exactly a laughing matter- but calmed as your mother ran a hand through his curls, just like she used to when the two of you were young.

“Don’t you worry, She’ll be alright, and has always been welcome here. We’ll just have to clean out my old sewing room, your old room Izuku” he smiled softly as she rested her hand on his shoulder, his own squeezing it softly in thanks.

When the two of you had gotten to a certain age, though still short amongst the boys, he’d grown out of sharing your small bed with you, as well as your room. It was relatively small, and with the two of you growing it had become a bit...cramped. Thus your mother's sewing room had become his. He’d insisted on helping your father make him his new bed for when he visited. 

“Why don’t the two of you come help me? I’m not as young as I used to be,” she mused, walking over to the door and opening it. You stepped in first, sneezing upon entry as the dust was disturbed. “Oh dear, I hadn’t thought it’d become this dusty! I knew I was forgetting something”

There were fabrics neatly folded into a cabinet that sat against the wall with a desk, the window letting morning light stream onto the desk. To the right was a spinning wheel, as well as a loom. To the left was a bed big enough for one person, a few fabrics draped over the bed spread, as well as a small box of sewing needles.

In the end, it had only taken you and Izuku a few hours to dust the room, mainly going outside to beat the dust off of the fabrics and various blankets that were now too thick for spring warmth, trying not to sneeze too much in the process. The other half was sweeping and scrubbing all the dust out. Izuku did have to save you from some abnormally normally large spiders in the corner- but you would never admit it.

While it was for Izuku’s mother, you knew this was one of your mother's ways in helping the pair of you get your mind off things. If you were too busy playfully hitting Izuku with the stick you were using on the blankets, then you were also too busy to think too hard about the unease settling over the once welcoming village, too busy to think about the fact that he was leaving at dawn.

As the sun was setting, the two of you being done with your work, decided to sit out front and wait for Inko. A small carriage pulled by one horse came into view; the half of the people were startled to attention whilst the other half recognized the carriage and went on with their lives.

Inko pulled the carriage to a stop towards the side of your home, hardly wanting to make a fuss by setting it right in front and in the way of others. Izuku immediately went to her side, the relief clear in his body language, head held high but his shoulders were relaxed, his hands no longer clenched to the point of his knuckles turning white.

Before helping her down, eyes watering, he held her tightly to him, her arms going around his neck.

“Oh baby, don’t start crying, then I’ll start crying!” She huffed, her eyes already watering up, but she didn’t let go of him until he was ready to.

“ I’m sorry mom, I was just...worried about you,” He glanced at the wagon, then did a double take, “Did you pack the entire house?!” he helped her down, getting onto it to see for himself. 

Sure enough, it was packed to the brim-blankets, favored pots and pans, some of Izuku’s old clothes and his newer ones, old toys, pillows, and lots of books. An embarrassed flush crept up Inko’s neck, though her expression held a serious note.

“Well, yes. I didn’t feel safe there and, well, I’d heard that in some of the cities- the towns even- were burning up the homes of the accused, or those they were suspicious of. They only just started to notice me, but I wasn’t going to take any chances. I thought it would be safer here”

You placed a hand gently on her shoulder, a soft, startled, yelp leaving her lips as you did, “We’re happy to have you Mrs.Midoriya, you’re family.” you were met with a pinch to your side. “Honestly dear, just call me Inko, or mom even, I’ve known you long enough,” she teased, wrapping her arms around you in greeting. You swore this is where Izuku got his hugging style from. She gave the warmest hugs, full of unrestrained kindness and comfort.

“Inko!” you heard your mother call from the doorway. You let Inko go in favor of going to put the horse in the stable with the others, letting Izuku deal with moving things inside, for now. 

Once sure the horses were cared for, you walked back to help Izuku, only to find him sitting there instead.

You hopped up next to him, your hip touching his. “Izuku?” he looked over at you, placing your hand in his. “Why aren’t you unloading? I wasn’t going to make you do it all by yourself, I promise” you tease. The smile reaches his eyes but fades quickly.

“I was just thinking about...well everything” He sighs, squeezing your hand softly. “Hmm, that’s a pretty broad topic-”

“You are truly hilarious, darling,” It got another smile out of him, but you didn’t interrupt him again, urging him to speak his mind, “ I was thinking about how things would die out with this ‘evil witches’ hunt. That it was just some rumors spread around that caused this and that the people would use evidence and logic to come to reason”

“Izuku, since when has the public ever come eye to eye with logic and evidence?” you laugh, a bittersweet note.

“Since never, but I thought-Well it doesn’t matter what I thought actually. These evil witches are running around and hurting people, even in the villages and towns they haven’t been in,” He runs a hand over his face, “I’m just worried about you, and our families, the coven. I know i can’t take these ‘witches’ out myself, but I feel better being here. But I also know that I need to be out there to help bring them down. But I want you all to be safe, I’m not sure that this village is it, not right now”

“I don’t want you to go either,” your thumb rubs comforting circles onto the back of his hand, “But I agree with you, you have to go out there and help take them down. I think we should talk about this with everyone inside. I’m sure we’ll come up with something”

His lips are pulled into a thin line as he thinks, but he nods. You gently tug on his hand, pleased to find there is no resistance as you lead him inside. 

Your mother and father are sitting next to one another, annoyance clear on his face as he looks at the letter your mother is holding, Inko sitting on her other side. Your mother glances up from it and waves you over.

“I was just about to call you two in, we need to have a chat,” you both take the only other seats at the table, your hand still in Izuku’s. Your mother hands you the letter, placing it between yourself and Izuku to glance over. “The elders have decided that it would be best for the coven to...leave as it were”

Ah, that explained the look on your father's face. He would never part with his healing shop, not when so many people counted on his healing magic, as well as yours. You skim over the letter quickly, finding her words to be true. Mrs.Tachibana had left a note, she had a feeling that this was something Izuku needed to hear; she had a feeling he was going off somewhere and that this would be vital for his peace of mind. 

It was always a little unnerving how accurate she was.

“Where would we be leaving to?” you ask, your eyes meeting your mother’s. What town could better protect them than the one they knew like the back of their hands. You didn’t like the idea of going to an entirely unknown place, but if it was for the better…

“To the ritual circle actually,” she put up a hand at the sound of your objections, “I know, it sounds like a bad plan. Normally, if this were anywhere else, I would agree. We’d be sitting ducks. However, the ritual circle is a place of power. We can set up our wards to keep evil spirits from finding us, as well as illusions to confuse our enemies. Whatever these ‘witches’ are up to, they’re looking for the villagers.”

“But what if they are looking for you?” Izuku asked, “What if your wards aren’t enough?” he could feel marks clawing at his throat, anxieties bubbling at his tongue. He urged them to be quiet, biting his lip as if to lock the box.

“We’ve been here for generations. We know this land, which has given to us and we give back to. We’ve plenty of magic to protect ourselves. Our magic is to help and heal, but that does not mean we are not able to defend ourselves with magic if need be. If we are out of the way, protected, then the villagers will be safe from us in the event that, if we’d been there, we would have to use magic to protect ourselves from them.”

He still felt anxious, heart thudding heavily against his chest. He doubted he would ever really be unafraid for them. But, this was still better than the alternative of them doing nothing at all.

“Alright then?” you nodded, pressing a kiss to Izuku’s hand, who let out a heavy sigh. Taking that as affirmation, your mother continued. “Good. We need to start packing, we are to leave when the moon is high, while the village is asleep.” 

The five of you set to work in the house, your mother and father packing the shop, while Inko was left to gather any and all books and parchment scrolls into a boxed crate. Any time she was positive she filled it to the top, she turned to tell your mother, only to look back and find she could fit one more row. 

That left you and Izuku in charge of gathering other materials, blankets, pillows, clothing, clothing from each season, just in case the worst should happen. 

In total, the five of you filled five boxed crates, which should have been impossibly heavy, but were only moderately so.

Once everything had been loaded up, your parents took to their carriage, while you rode with Izuku and his mother. 

The air was cool and damp, the wind bringing an unnecessary bite to it in your opinion, as you and Inko cuddled up on either side of Izuku, who had the reins. The short ride there was quiet somehow, even as the carriages managed to get over the roots, thanks to all the various wagons and caravans over the years leaving their marks. Not a word was spoken as you approached, the warm fire from the ritual circle; it was stark against the dark hues of the night.

It was as if it had appeared suddenly, rather than being seen from the halfway point. Elders stood at the ritual areas most outer circle, with a wave of their hands, sigils and wards were placed. They paid you no mind as you crossed, wagons and caravans galore, as well as a few tents pitched with runes around them as well.

All in all, it felt familiar and warm, much warmer than a spring night should allow. Your family tucked themselves against the trees, closer to the river. There were elders on the other side of the river, finishing up their wards, an almost filmy bubble over the area, though the smoke didn’t fill the area up like you had expected.

Izuku glanced around with the same awe that must have been in your eyes, but you couldn’t stop to chat. You each get out of your respective carriages, your mother pulling out a large piece of, what looked like, dull red cloth, much like the tents the others had pitched up. You’d never seen it before, it must have come from the pits of whatever crate your father had made.

Izuku and your father put up the tent, which was actually quite large, it would fit all of you for certain, whilst you and your mother drew the sigils and wards around the tent. As you and Izuku carried one of the crates into the tent, you swore the tent itself was a bit...bigger on the inside.

As the process of setting up continued, more people began to appear, all from your coven. Some of them you hadn’t seen in years! All to flee to relative safety. When you couldn’t bear to watch any longer, you pulled your hand from the tent flap, the sigils inside the tent glowing a soft blue. You made your way over to the crates where the amenities from the shop had been packed. 

You made sure to keep quiet as you pulled out a smooth green stone that shimmered in accents of emerald and malachite in color, and a soft piece of cloth, long in nature. Your parents had long pulled out the bedrolls, the four of them calling it a night and quickly falling into dreamland. You began to braid and weave the cloth around the stone, rolling it into something cord like. As you do this, you let feelings of safety, home, and love permeate the stone, the tips of your fingers glowing that soft yellow. Next came strength, good fortune and aim that was swift and true. The last thing you placed into this stone was a small part of you, tethered to your heart, so he could always find home.

With the last knot tied, you held up your creation, the light from the sigils glinting off of it.

You’d never made something like this before, but you had seen your mother do so when someone from the next village over came to ask for protection, be it for themselves or for their loved ones heading off to war.

You closed the crate, walking past Inko’s space she’d made for herself, and into your own bedroll, pocketing the necklace for the morning, which was right next to Izuku’s. Your curled close to him, your nose almost touching his back. He huffed softly, turning over to face you in his sleep. You turned your back to him, letting his arms sleepily reach out for you and pull you close, loving how the butterflies in your stomach turned a sweet pink at the action.

Your eyes slowly close, lulled to sleep in the arms of your promised.

You are woken up all too soon, the shifting of people moving inside the tent, and outside the tent. You suppress the urge to groan in discomfort, sleeps claws scratching and pulling at your eyes to come back. You glanced over next to you, seeing that Izuku was no longer sleeping beside you, had you shooting up and out of your roll. 

Izuku was just outside the tent, dressed in his leather armor, your parents were still asleep, but Inko was here, wide awake. You could just barely see the first light of dawn, the dark blue sky slowly turning lighter. You reach into your pocket, a sigh of relief leaving you as the necklace you made was still there. 

His mother handed him a pack, which he slung over his horse. He leaned down so she could press a kiss to his cheek. He gave her a smile, something soft and reassuring. She turned to leave, to watch him from the tent, walking past you with a slight wave.

Izuku heard you just before you approached behind him. He turned around, expression soft as he took in your features. Your hair was a little messy, clothes a bit rumbled, but all in all, you were beautiful. He hated leaving, he’d only just gotten to be with you again, to hold you close, to enjoy your company, your presence. He would steel himself once he took off. For now, he allowed his heart to be soft.

“Leaving without saying goodbye?” You tease, your voice rough with sleep. He chuckles softly, taking your hand in his.

“Never, Just getting everything ready to go”

“Good.” You pressed a kiss to his cheek, then reached into your pocket, “I made you something. Promise me you’ll wear it?” you placed the necklace in his hand, the green really starting to stand out now that it was out in light.

“You made this for me darling?” you nodded, placing the necklace over his head for him, the stone sitting right on his chest. It would be easy to conceal, but you wanted to see it on him.

“It’s….A little piece to help keep you safe,” your fingers touched the stone, “ so you feel safe on your journeys, so you will feel just a piece of home while away, that you will be warm and filled with my love always. When you wear this, good fortune will smile on you, your aim will be swift and true, and my strength, my courage will be yours. And when all is said and done, You’ll be able to find your way home to me, no matter where you are” you pressed a kiss over the stone, over his heart, to seal in the energy that you put forth. 

You wiped the tears that had just started to fall from your eyes, only to fail when you saw his own tears. He placed his gloved hands on either side of your jaw, kissing you softly, reverently. Despite its chaste nature, you felt every bit of warmth and passion, a love that threatened to make your heart burst.

He pulled away from you, placing his forehead to yours, your eyes staring into one another's.

“I will always find my way back to you.” his voice was low, a whisper only you hear. You knew that he was no witch, but in that moment, you felt a magic not your own shoot up your spine in the most pleasant way. It was as if his words had their own magic to them. 

He pressed one last kiss to your lips, tucking the stone under his shirt, to keep it safe. You watched as he got onto his horse, riding off towards the sunrise.

From there, you tried to keep yourself as busy as possible. Whether that be gathering the river water, a few of the wild flowers that grew in the trees, or even just tending to the circle fire. 

You found yourself bored and worried in a matter of hours. Everything was fine, everything would be fine. He would come back to you, he would be safe and sound, and you could move on from this dark period.

You practiced your sigils and wards, magic at the ready to replace one if need be. You even started reading the rolled parchments your mother kept. One week passed, then two, and then three.

Your worry reached an all-time high, for a split second, just a split second, your heart dropped to your feet, a shock sent through your nerves. You had no idea what caused this sudden feeling except-!

You were about to run to your mother, to ask her, if she could tell you anything, what that feeling meant. But something halted you, mainly the feeling of your heart slowly moving its way back to its respectful place, the shock left a warm feeling in your nerves that left your hands shaking. 

But the sensation had gone, it felt alright, just like when you gave him the stone, just as it had felt the rest of the weeks passed. 

As far as you knew, the village folk had stayed, despite your disappearance. From whatever scout was sent out, they gave no word of the people searching for you or even questioning your leaving. It was hardly peaceful from what you were told.

The people were even colder towards one another, children no longer running around the village, to keep them safe from whatever witch may target them. Any hustle and bustle was left solely for necessities, the genuine care for the others day long gone as they rushed back home.

With tensions rising higher, the elders thought it best to pull back the scouts, just to be safe.

You scratched out the tally you had made in the dirt. If he didn’t return this coming week, he will have been gone for four months. This should have been nothing, He’d left you for two years before, you survived.

So why was it so hard now?

You knew why, you knew exactly why it was so much harder, you just didn’t like knowing why. It didn’t make the problem any better or worse. You’d heard nothing from other towns, not even your own, Izuku would not have the time, or perhaps even the safety, of writing to you.

A large warm hand was placed on top of your head, petting your hair, startling you from your turmoil. Glancing up, you saw your father, looking down at you with kind eyes.

“I need you to gather some lavender, I’m afraid in these...stressful times, lavender has become quite sought after here.” He gave you an apologetic smile, “I’d go myself if I didn't have other salves and ointments to make.” 

The lavender fields were so large, spanning from the village and even over the worn roads. If you stuck to the fields closer to the now makeshift camp, You wouldn’t be bothered by any passerby, and more importantly, the villagers.

You stood up, dusting your skirts off. It was probably better that you went anyhow, if anything to see a little change in scenery. “That’s alright papa, I wasn’t doing anything anyway.” you take the basket from him. You stepped carefully over the protection sigils, making sure not to smudge any of them. 

The slight change in scenery did help to improve your mood. The morning sun still painting everything in a cool glow, the matching breeze swept away your clouded thoughts.The fields were always quite a sight in the morning, you mused as you sat your basket down once you had found a nice little spot, the flowers hues bouncing off the light.

You took your time, cutting at an angle, the stalks going into a pile that your arms would carry, the flowers themselves going into the basket. It was...alarmingly easy to just forget everything that was happening with how gentle the air was, birds singing their tunes and bees buzzing about.

Before you knew it, you had filled up your basket to the brim, lost in thoughts so vague they were better off as clouds. Glancing up you also realized it was well into the afternoon, almost sunset! You carefully stood up, your legs a bit stiff from sitting for so long. 

The sound of a horse’s whicker turned your gaze towards the road. It was a smaller sized group, their shields glinting in the light. Towards the back, one man was carrying a flag held high above them. Your vision blurred as the flag came into view.

He’s Home

They’ve won

You raced across the fields, your basket long forgotten, running for the quickest path towards the road. Your heart pounded heavily in your chest, zings of excitement running through your veins.

As soon as you were close enough to see the details of their faces, you saw Izuku. He urged the group to stop; sitting in front of him was a man with the brightest red hair you’d ever seen. Izuku clumsily got down from the Horse, using this man in front of him to steady himself enough to hit the ground running. 

You met in the middle, him wrapping his arms around your waist as your arms were thrown over his neck for an embrace. You were crying in relief, joy, the heavy weight that rested on your shoulders long gone. You pulled back and pressed kisses all over his face, his eyes, though watery, lit up in happiness to see you.

“That’s so manly!” You heard the red haired one cry out, a waiver in his own voice, pulling you out of the soft moment. You slowly pulled back, your hand dragging down his chest idly as it went back to your side, a sharp hitch of breath getting your attention back immediately.

He’s been injured

“Izuku what-” he cut you off with a gentle hand taking yours. It was only now that you realize that he was not in the leather armor his companions were- a loose fitted shirt, some trousers, and the same boots he left in.

“I’ll explain when we get home, It’s been...quite the journey home” he smiled at you, turning back to his companions. Now that your focus was not completely on Izuku, you noticed that he was travelling with, at least currently, four others.

The first, of course, was the red haired man, a big smile laced onto his face with bright matching eyes. The second was a blond haired man, a scowl etched on his face, deep red eyes watching. For whatever reason, you could tell that this scowl wasn’t as deep as it usually would have been. Next to the blond one’s Horse was Izuku’s. 

Behind him was a young man with the most curiously colored hair you’d ever seen, white on his right with a brown eye, while his left side was red, a scar wrapped around his vibrant blue eye. The last one however, was a thin man, not much older than your father you assumed, blond hair tied back, his blue eyes bright with a kindness you had not expected from someone his size. He was so much taller than the others, his horse alone was taller than the others, just to fit this man it seemed.

“O-of course, yes,” you babbled elegantly, hardly wanting to take your hand away from Izuku’s.

You led them back to the makeshift camp, your announcement of the arrival of these heroes sent the crowd into a joyous cheer, as the rest came to see what the commotion was all about. 

They stopped at the center fire, Izuku-this time much more gracefully- stepped down from the horse and Inko rushed to hug her baby just like you had. The rest of his companions follow suit, though their hands remained tight on the reins.

“Oh thank goodness your safe, my baby!” she wailed, her smile only brightening as her son laughed, an attempt to keep from totally wailing like his mother. 

Mrs.Tachibana shuffled through the crowd, the elders all following suit. Inko stood aside, though you kept your hand linked with Izuku’s.

“Thank you, all of you,” she motioned to his companions, “We owe you a debt that we will never truly be able to repay, for avenging those who were wrongfully taken from us, and to those we may have lost.” She was silent for a moment, to let those now dead have a moment of peace before continuing, “However, for now, please allow us to repay you in the ways that we can, a celebration! You are far more than welcome to rest and resupply, to enjoy the night!”

The tallest man bowed to Mrs.Tachibana, a smile on his face as he addressed her on the Knights behalf. “We were just doing our duty to the people of this land. Thank you for your hospitality.”

“Before we prepare for your celebration, may we know the names of our heroes?” Mrs.Tachibana asked.

“Of course!” the tall man laughed, gesturing to each as he said their name, “These are my knights: Katsuki Bakugou,” the younger blond didn’t do much more than give an uninterested scowl, choosing to keep quiet, “ Eijirou Kirishima,” the red haired man gave a bright smile and a wave, “Shouto Todoroki” the dual haired man bowed silently, though his name did bring recognition into some of the covens eyes.

His father was a well-known Knight, brutal but effective on the battlefield, Endeavor. He was not a well-liked man, but he was respected in his duty. 

Finally gesturing to himself, “I am All Might, but please, call me Toshinori” 

The people slowly dispersed, excitedly working as the bees of early spring. Your mother and father walk over to give their thanks and greetings to the heroes. Your father manages to convince their tight hold on their reins to slacken, so that they may freely wander while their horses feed on the long grass.

Mrs.Tachibana wandered over to the young men, a couple of witches your mother's age following behind her. “Are any of you in need of healing? We have wonderful healers who will gladly treat you”

“Tch-the only one that needs healing is that da-”

“-No, we’re all alright!” The red head-Kirishima cuts off Bakugou, the latter incredibly annoyed at the interruption, “We just had some minor bumps and scratches, really, it’s mainly Midoriya who took the worst of it”

Izuku winced at the mention of his name, a sheepish blush forming on his cheeks. Your mother studied over Izuku’s form, a frown on her face, though she quickly replaced it with a smile.

“Let’s get that taken care of shall we?”

That’s how you found yourself down by the river, You and Izuku sitting on the rocks, carefully taking off the bandages to his wounds, the stone you had given him resting on his back, a fresh set of bandages laced with spider webs. While softer than the bandages he had, this one was bound stronger, and would keep out any unwanted grime and dirt from infecting the wound. Beside you was a basket of soft cloths and a bigger bowl of water, for cleaning.

Your mother was sitting beside the river with a mixture of various things, bowl filled with river water. As the bandage slips off, your eyes widen as a soft gasp leaves your lips.

“Oh Izuku, what on earth happened?” You’d never seen a wound of this kind before, a burn or a cut of some kind, a deep shade of red in the center, slowly turning at most a light pink on the outside, with what looked to be bubbles that had exploded, leaving a splatter mark.

“This was from one of the witches. The way they wielded their magic was terrifying, as well as impressive.” You frowned, hands digging out a cloth and dunking it in the water, wringing out your anger for this witch, returning gentle hands to his chest as you cleaned off the blood.

“The one who gave you this wound, what was his power exactly?” you take not of the hiss of pain, despite your gentle touch. You remembered your father telling you to talk to your patient, to help distract them from the pain, even if partially. 

“Ah, he was a man with the most bizarre burns and dark hair. He wielded a dagger of some sort,” he moved to grab onto a stick to draw the image in the dirt, though you gently press your hand to his uninjured shoulder to push him back into place.

“You can show me later, it’ll be harder to clean this if you keep moving” you gently scold, dunking the cloth back into the water. 

“Right, anyhow, he would strike at his enemies with just the blade. At first I thought he was just someone who supported them. But once he was close, his arms would suddenly be coated in blue flame! I’d never seen anything like it! It burned hotter than any fire I’ve been near. He went by the name of..Dabi I think it was.”

Blue flame that burned hotter than any other fire? How could he withstand the heat at all? A pained hiss pulls your attention back, your fingers pressing a bit too hard on the wound. You muttered a quick apology with a swift kiss to his cheek. You returned to your task with far more care.

“Tell me more about them, how many others were there?”

“Including Dabi? Four of them. There was a girl around our age by the name of Toga, she could turn into anyone she pleased. Terribly good strategy, you wouldn’t want to strike for the enemy, and find your allies face there instead. The third was a person by the name of Kurogiri. I never actually saw this person, but when they called for them, they responded. A portal would appear, whisking them away to...who knows where. It was...incredibly annoying as it was their favored escape route, no tracks to go after, no trail” He huffed softly in irritation at the memory.

“The fourth was a man they called Twice, he could make copies of himself or other people, who had the same skill set as who he copied. Out of all of them, he seemed to be having a hard time, or what I thought was one. He would say one thing, then immediately counter it with an opposite. The last was their leader, Shigaraki. Anyone he touched turned into ash, they...decayed,” He frowned at the thought, as if remembering something he’d rather not say out loud. 

“I never saw it, but I heard from other villagers that he could control how fast or slow something or someone decayed. I can’t imagine what it was like for those people who had to watch...only to be tried as witches themselves…” his lower lip wobbled, a tear or two streaming down his cheeks. You drop the cloth in favor of tipping his eyes to meet yours.

“You avenged them. While that won't bring them back, just know that their souls can rest easy now, knowing that the evil that caused all of this fear is gone.” You pressed a soft kiss to his lips, Izuku letting out a shaky sigh. 

He remained fairly quiet after that, and you didn’t push him to talk, the worst of the cleaning now done with. Your mother came up to the both of you, the bowl in her hand no longer filled with water, but a sweet smelling salve. 

“Before we put this salve on, we need to banish the evil intent behind this wound. So that infection will not come from the inside either.” She instructed, placing a hand over his chest but not touching the wound. As her hand glowed you could practically see the flames that had burned him, dancing across the wound with wild and fluid movements. You could feel the intent behind the magic, dark and foreboding, leaving a bitter taste in your mouth.

The purple glow of your mother's magic descended upon the intent, the flames hissing like snakes as they were overtaken. As the last spark of flame died, Izuku let out a relieved sigh, the area around you brightening again, as if a tree had been blocking the sun.

“Oh...I feel so much lighter now,” He looked up to your mother with a smile, “Thank you” She returned his smile, her nails scratching lightly at his scalp. “Of course. I’ll leave the rest to (Y/N)” She said, taking the bloodied water and cloth to be cleaned.

As the sun set, the stars blinking into the sky, the ritual fire burned brighter than ever, the music playing no longer held notes tinged with worry and resentment, the drum beat heavy in your chest as you and Izuku sat on the sidelines. 

Kirishima was having a wonderful time, between dancing with some of the coven members to stuff his face with the delicious food. Occasionally, one of the children would wander up to him and ask him to dance. Rather than politely declining, he’d lift up the child and dance with exaggerated movements that made them squeal and giggle.

Bakugou was far too content to sip on his drink and watch the festivities, though he bobbed his head to the beat of the drums, his scowl replaced with something more neutral. Todoroki was talking with your mother, about magic it seemed as she created soft purple lights to dance around in her palm. To your surprise he did the same, though they were smaller and a pale blue color. 

Toshinori seemed to be talking idly with Inko, the two of them occasionally having to stop as a few children came up and began to ask questions you assumed, as he would then launch into a tale, probably an encounter he had at some point. They were all enchanted with the way he told the story, Inko watching with great attention, a smile on her face.

Izuku’s hand rested in yours, his thumb rubbing aimless patterns into your skin when you suddenly gasped

“I forgot the lavender basket in the fields!”

It had been a year since that day. The day after the celebration was spent packing things up and back into your homes. Fear would not so easily be defeated, with that looming threat, why would they want to return to a possibly dangerous place? At the elders’ request, The knights had gone to check over the town, to be sure that everything was safe, as well as making sure it was all standing. 

The town had been abandoned, the buildings remaining empty. It was a bit saddening, to see the town so quiet. All the life, the people you had always known just...gone. However, with so many of the coven either unwilling to go back to their homes, or unable to, they simply took over the abandoned homes. 

Life slowly went back to normal, though a different kind of normal. It was...nice to have your coven around, to no longer have judgmental, but harmless, stares sent your way. It was a lot of hard work, but the town grew to be just as lively as it had been once before, if not more so.

The Knights were always welcome to your little village, surprisingly they came to visit quite often, especially for the holidays. Just like today, a brilliant and warm summer morning, though today was a special day.

The coven was centered around the ritual fire, a woven arch placed before it, filled with various wildflowers and brilliant stones. You stood there before your soon to be husband hands clasped together as Mr.Yamada recited an old spell, one of weaving, to bind your souls together. 

You could hardly focus on his words, your own watery eyes meeting green ones. He smiled so brightly at you, you have to mirror it back, the overflowing joy in the both of you was entirely contagious. The dusting of pink over your cheeks matched the hue of the flower crowns placed on your heads.

A couple of wails sounded from the crowd, Inko crying her own river of tears; Toshinori sat beside her and offered a clean handkerchief, to which she gratefully took. The other wail came from behind Izuku, Kirisima’s lower lip wobbling as Bakugou smacked the back of his head, growling out a low “Control yourself!” 

You laughed at the two as Mr.Yamada hesitantly started reading again, if only to make sure the two could handle it without any more interruptions.

He placed his hand over yours and Izuku’s, a warm glow emitting from it. “To bind yourselves to one another, you must make a promise to your other half. Starting with Izuku” He took his hand off of yours, the glow around your connected hands maintaining, shining brightly like water as the sun hits the cool waves.

He nodded, taking a deep breath to calm himself, a rush of excitement flooding his veins. 

He held onto your hand tighter, a firmer grip, priding himself that his voice didn’t crack as he started to speak. “I promise to you, (Y/N), that I will love you and care for you for all my days, my nights, and even in death. I promise my soul to you, tied to yours. I will always find my way to you and I will never falter”

On his hand, the golden glow turned green until all the way down to the tips of your fingers. You let out a happy sob, your heart unable to contain it. Still you wiped it off with your free hand.

“I promise to you, Izuku, that I will love and care for you for all of my days, my nights and even in death. I promise my soul to you, tied to yours. I will always find my way to you and I will never falter” 

The glow from Izuku’s finger tips to yours spread up to your hand,  fading into your skin. Yamada raised your connected hands in the air, “I now pronounce your souls to be bound together! You may now kiss your beloved”

As he let go, Izuku pulled you close to him, one hand capturing your jaw gently as he pulled you into a sweet kiss. You mirrored his hand, thumb stroking his cheek as the world around you ceased to exist for just that moment. 

The party itself lasted well into the night, the two of you hand your arms intertwined, drinking the sweet red liquid that was specially prepared for the evening, the rest of the coven now able to eat and drink to their heart's content. You absently remembered, as Izuku fed you a piece of savory bread, your mother telling you the symbolism in the red drink; strength, courage, and fertility.

The music that played was loud and joyful, laughter floating like the hum of a choir, a pleasant cord. As the moon reached its highest point, the two of you tossed the blue and orange flower crowns atop your heads into the fire. It was an old tradition, even to the standards of your coven.

The flowers placed on your head had meaning to them, just like the sweet drink you had earlier. The orange stood for encouragement, attraction and kindness. The blue on the other hand stood for patience, understanding, and loyalty. Once burned, the energy from those flowers would bring out those attributes in your marriage. Or that’s what the old saying was.

The coven raised the woods with their cheers, sparks of blues and orange dancing in the air.

As the two of you watched the flowers burn, Izuku’s arm around your waist, you leaned into him, a smile on your face.

Though you had been with each other for nearly your whole lives, this was the beginning of something new.

X. X. X. X. X.

You blinked, your eyes wet with unshed happy tears as you glanced around the room, your friends, Ochaco, Iida, and Todoroki were all behind you, looking at you with wide eyes. Next to you sat your boyfriend of two years, now in your third year at UA. His eyes were also wet, slowly turning to gaze towards you.

You had all decided to go to the fair that had opened up. Towards the end of your merriment, you spotted a fortune teller of a sort, and decided to go inside. Everything had been fairly light hearted and fun,though yours had been quite intense, but nonetheless happy. The fortune teller was shocked, the past had something important for you to see, and by all that was good you were going to see it.

You looked down at the promise ring Izuku bought you. It burned with the same cool sensation as you remembered...saw past you. It felt like..a small part of you had been unlocked, as if some part of you had been missing for all of these years.

He gave you a gentle smile, one you returned.

“I guess our souls are bonded together”

[residentlesbrarian]

Fandom and Fanfiction Galore

Ship It by Britta Lundin

Aaaaaalrighty...so this was written almost 3 years ago hot out of ClexaCon 2018 and it is...an interesting one. I had and still very much have feelings about this book. Would I write my thoughts the exact same way today as I did back then...probably not! So enjoy this bit of a pre-pandemic pre-a-whole-bunch-of-other-personal-stuff-y’all-don’t-need-to-know-about me talking about a book I still don’t really know how I feel about! Enjoy!

This was another book I found because of the Queering YA panel at ClexaCon 2018. Being able to talk to Britta at the booth after the panel was awesome, because you could tell talking with her that she was a true fan. She knew what being surrounded by fandom was like and it made me pretty excited to read the book.

Unicorn Rating:

Blurb: Living in the environment of fandom can be an insane experience in both good and bad ways. This book delivered a unique experience and look into fandom culture that was surreal to read about outside of fanfiction and tumblr.

Disclaimer: I will try my best to not spoil anything from the book, but my book loving rambles may give more away than a traditional review. Here we go! Ramble time!

Review:

I would say overall this book felt a little weird for me. I didn’t absolutely love it but I also didn’t particularly dislike it. It fell in a very ‘meh’ place for me, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have good things to say about it, they are just slightly confusing things.

The plot was actually one of the things I liked the most about it. Even though it was a crazy unrealistic plot, it helped capture the absolute lunacy of being a member of fandom culture perfectly. Sometimes being a fan is a simple life of surfing Tumblr and liking posts but sometimes the craziest things happen and change your life forever. In this case the reader is swept up in this craziness with Claire and the unrealistic aspect of it all made it feel more realistic as counterintuitive as that sounds. That is what the fandom experience can feel like at times, everything makes so little sense it actually circles back around to making sense, but enough about that...time for some character rambles.

Now we have two perspectives explored in this book. That of Claire, the fangirl, and Forest, the actor who has never had to deal with fangirls before. Let’s start with Claire. I am of two minds on her. Part of me really doesn’t like her, mostly because she is a person that in real life I probably wouldn’t spend time around and, as I’ve stated in a previous review, I have a hard time separating myself from characters and remembering that they are only teenagers. Multiple times I actually physically facepalmed, while reading a hardback book! That isn’t easy to do, but I did it, because she was doing things that just seemed so illogical from my perspective. But I am an adult, so of course I have a completely different perspective than a teen who is away from home and feeling a little out of control for a plethora of reasons. Now the other part of me really liked her, strangely enough for those exact same reasons, she was so real that I went full ‘Mom’ mode and wanted to sit her down and have a talk about what she was going through before she did something she was going to regret. Even if I found the character to be unlikeable the fact I was still on her side and wanted to help her really shows the depth that was written into her.

Now moving on to Forest. Oh, Forest. He was a character that I was very intrigued by at first because his was a perspective I, as a fangirl myself, had never seen in a book before, but damn if he didn’t make it so hard to like him. Some of the things he said and did made me want to throttle him. I could excuse some of the stuff Clarie did because of her age and the craziness of everything going on around her, but Forest is an adult and should know better. He would improve and his actions would start to win me over, but then he would overreact to something and make me want to put on my throttlin’ gloves again. I felt like that Tyra Banks ‘I was rooting for you!’ reaction gif while I was reading this multiple times. Again, though, there were parts that I was glad Forest called Claire out on her actions when it was called for, but overall they both needed an intervention to have them sit down and just chill for five seconds.

I actually genuinely liked a majority of the side characters in this as well. I actually have less of the weird mental confusion when it comes to the side characters. Rico was cute and great around the fans. Jamie was a total asshat but he was written to be that way to foil Claire in her mission to make ‘Smokeheart’ cannon. One of my favorite scenes in the whole book was actually between Claire and the social media consultant, whose name I totally remember and am just choosing not to put in because I think that’ll be all avant garde...okay fine I forgot her name and I am not digging the book out to find it. Anyway...I can’t really go into detail about the scene because, you know, spoilers but it was so well done in the context of the story.

Now for the last big character I want to speak on, the love interest, Tess. Now I really liked Tess and even understood how she wanted to keep her nerdy hobbies a secret from her small town friends. I was lucky that I grew up in a family and a circle of friends that let me embrace my passions no matter how off-the-wall they may seem to others. Tess obviously didn’t have that kind of support but she was still so passionate just privately. I will say though, ironically given the title of the book, I don’t ship it. Tess and Claire definitely share an instant attraction and the chemistry is there but they have so much growing to do before they are anywhere close to having an actual healthy functional relationship. Maybe if we saw more of them it would feel more compelling but it just wasn’t for me.

So my final thoughts on this book are just...a little discombobulated. Part of me was really happy to read a book that portrayed a part of my life that is so hard to put into words at times. I have never been a rabid fangirl, but after Lexa’s death I had to try and explain my utter devastation to people who just didn’t understand why a fictional character mattered to me so much. This book captures at least a layer of the fandom experience in a way that I’ve never seen before. The problem I have in the end though is how problematic everything that happens was, and then the ending just felt so sudden. We didn’t see any of the characters address their issues on the page. I hope this review made some coherent sense, because this book still doesn’t really make sense even in my brain, but I need to wrap this up now.

Queer Wrap-up: Okay, so, for our rep we have a questioning main character who definitely has some queer tendencies, but overall her realizing her feelings took such a back seat to her mission to make a fictional ship cannon on a show that was already filmed it took away from the rep as a whole. It just felt like the focus was so split that the actual rep gets lost in the pages. There is no argument by the end of the book that Claire is queer, which earns the three unicorns on that alone, but some of the tropes that played parts in the book were just so cringey that I couldn’t rationalize giving it more than that. Even with a couple side characters who were revealed to also be queer they weren’t enough to cover for the less stellar parts of this book.

Links:

Britta Lundin’s Website

TheStorygraph

Amazon

Okay, so if you couldn’t tell by that train wreck of a review this book just confused me. It kept me just interested enough to pick it back up after I’d put it down, but also wasn’t that bad. It lives in a weird oxymoronic vortex in my brain that honestly gives me a headache if I focus on it too much. There were aspects of this book that I did genuinely like but it all gets swirled together with the parts that made me put it down and need to take a break. If any of you want to discuss those more spoiler-filled aspects please send an ask and I’ll welcome you into the cyclical nature of whatever this book is doing in my brain. And as always if you want to read this but don’t want to spend the money without knowing for sure you are going to like it, go to your local library. You’d be surprised what they have on their shelves just waiting to be discovered. Trust me, I’m a lesbrarian.

[wingsofkpop]

Hiraeth - I.III: Don’t Bite and Tell

pairing(s): Hybrid!Im Jaebeom x Reader, Witch!Mark Tuan x Reader, Werewolf!Jackson Wang x Reader, Vampire!Park Jinyoung x Reader, Supernatural!Got7 x Reader

genre: Supernatual!AU, Dark Magic!AU, Angst, slight Fluff, eventual Smut

warning(s): Mature language, mentions of death, brief accounts of violence, practice of ritualistic and sacrificial magic, blood and slight gore, etc. 

word count: 5,1k

synopsis: How far are you willing to go to find out the truth about Moon Dye Bay?…

“I’ve encountered a couple hunters myself over the years, but never one who hunts and kills witches.” Mark watches Jinyoung pilfer through the scriptures him and the rest of his coven members managed to pull together after Youngjae’s reveal of a possible supernatural hunter in town. A murderous one, at that. Jinyoung skims through another page, before shaking his head, “The original supernatural hunters were created by witches to kill vampires… I don’t understand why one would specifically track down and murder covens? Nor how they have the power to do so?” 

“That’s what we’re trying to figure out now.” With Jinyoung in tow, Mark heads toward the edge of the cemetery. The pair soon reach a small gazebo adorned with overgrown vines, where Youngjae and Jisung are sitting on the ground inside, herded around a large silver bowl, inside a tuft of dark hair and a special charm bracelet that belonged to Nayeon. Jisung holds a squirming black rat between his palms, while Youngjae proceeds to sharpen a silver dagger. 

Mark turns back to Jinyoung, “We’re going to perform a spell to track whoever or whatever used dark magic to kill Nayeon.” The vampire nods in understanding, leaning against a pole supporting the top of the gazebo. Mark takes his place between the two witches before sending a white-faced Jisung a glance, “You okay? Or do you want me to do it?” Jisung immediately shoves the rat into his awaiting palms. 

Mark takes the creature without a word, offering the youngest witch a soft glance. Once Jisung turns his head away, Mark quickly breaks the rat’s neck, internally wincing at the audible crackling of bones, and nods toward a waiting Youngjae. Youngjae slices open the belly of the rodent, causing warm blood to spill down Mark’s hands and into the silver bowl. Mark watches the bracelet and hair gradually bathe in the thick, red substance, before discarding the dead rat out of sight. 

At a call of his name, Jisung returns to the triangle, appearing a bit sick, and joins his hands with Youngjae’s over the bowl while Mark cleans the remaining blood from his skin with a nearby handkerchief. Their clasped fingers immediately begin to glow, allowing both witches to finally begin the incantation: 

“Inveniet hostium et tenebrae… Inveniet hostium et tenebrae…” Mark rises to stand beside Jinyoung as the two repeat the chant over and over again. However, his attention is stolen away at the loud, rather hateful call of his name. A sigh of annoyance slides from his lips at the sight of a fuming Minho storming toward the gazebo with a frantic Lia in tow. Mark bids Jinyoung a quick ‘be-right-back’ before hurrying over to the newcomers. 

“You let that bloodsucking bastard onto our grounds again!?” 

“I’m sorry, Mark! I tried to keep him distracted, but he saw our texts!” Mark waves away Lia’s worries and points her in the direction of the gazebo, leaving him alone with the red-faced, angry-browed witch. 

Mark releases another sigh, “I know you’re upset—” 

“Upset!? Oh, we’re way past that now…” Minho crosses his arms, “Not only do you completely ignore my warnings, but you go behind my fucking back!? Last I checked, I’m a part of this damn coven too.”  

“I had no other choice, Minho. You made it very clear you weren’t on board with our plan—” 

“And why should I be!?” He sneers, uncrossing his limbs to wave them at Mark in frustration. “When have the Primes ever done anything to deserve our allyship!? Much less our trust!? You of all people should understand that!” 

“Until Nayeon’s killer is found, we are temporarily working with Jinyoung.” Mark pretends not to hear Minho’s last comment, choosing to hide his budding rage beneath a blank, emotionless frown. “He wants to help, okay? And I want to be able to sleep soundly at night knowing that my people are safe.” 

“They’re not just your people… and just because you think you’re all high and mighty for calling the shots doesn’t give you the right to overrule everyone else!” 

“Are you seriously still on this bullshit?...” 

Back when the coven was first formed, and before Jisung joined the path down witchhood, Mark, Nayeon, Youngjae, Minho and Lia all came to a consensus that the coven needed a leader. Mark was voted as such by the majority, which he knew, never sat well with Minho. 

The younger witch shakes his head, “I’m just saying that you can be a little out of tact with your emotions when it comes to situations like this—” 

“And what the fuck is that supposed to mean!?” Mark hisses, unable to hold back the floodgates of his own impending temper. Minho buries his face in his palms, murmuring nonsense while pacing back and forth. He resembles a mad-man, is Mark’s main thought, before he slowly removes his hands and murmurs: 

“I’m only trying to prevent a repeat of what happened last time.” 

“I won’t let that happen.” Mark growls, “Things are different now. We’re stronger.” 

“You say that now, until another one of our people ends up dead.” 

Mark frantically shakes his head, “Fucking hell, Minho! I’m doing the best I can here!” 

“If you were, then Nayeon would still be alive right now.” 

Minho spares one last glance at Mark before spinning on his heel and taking off into the direction he originally came. Mark calls his name, once, then twice, but Minho doesn’t slow his pace. With a heavy heart, Mark follows the younger witch’s form until he disappears behind the gate of the cemetery, leaving behind an even heavier feeling in Mark’s chest. 

“Mark?” He inhales a deep breath before peering over his shoulder at Jinyoung. Inside the vampire’s black irises, Mark almost swears he can see a spark of sympathy, but waves it off as a trick of the sunlight. 

Jinyoung gestures toward the gazebo, “They found a trace.” No sooner had the syllables left his lips, Mark is already beelining for the decorative structure. He enters to find the three remaining witches deep in discussion.

“What did you find?” Mark’s wave of elated hope expels from his veins at the note of Youngjae’s wide eyes and pursed lips. He glances between Lia and Jisung, but only receives the same disturbed expressions. He shakes his head, “What is it?...” 

“It’s worse than we thought, hyung.” 

“What do you mean ‘worse’?” 

“The spell didn’t trace to the hunter, or an object like we thought—” Youngjae pauses to take a breath, clutching Nayeon’s bloody bracelet in the palm of his hand like a life line. “The one who performed dark magic on Nayeon-noona was another witch…” 

Mark’s eyebrows furrow, “But that doesn’t make any sense? If Nayeon was killed by a supernatural hunter, there’s no way they can also be a—” Before he can finish his thought, the puzzle pieces thundering inside his mind immediately click into place. His jaw drops, but not as much as his heart, “...unless we’re not dealing with just a hunter.” 

“A supernatural hunter and a powerful, traitor witch.” Lia groans, carding a hand through her already messy strands. “And to think things couldn’t get any fucking worse.” 

 ☽ ☽ ☽ ☽ ☽ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ 

Vampires. Park Jinyoung. 

Those two things have been haunting the forefronts of your thoughts ever since you saw them scrawled so neatly across that yellowed page. You tried to search for more information, more elaboration, more anything, in Mayor Bhuwakul’s recounts, but that specific entry was the last, and the rest of the journal was as blank as a cloudless blue sky. Except you aren’t enthused by this particular emptiness, in fact… you’re completely fucking terrified. 

It doesn’t make any sense. The diary was written almost two and a half centuries ago, so there is no possible way that Jinyoung, and his so called brother, can still be alive. But then again, it does make sense. If Jinyoung and Jaebeom are vampires—

What are you even saying!? It’s not possible! 

You curse at the countless articles about the Twilight book series that come up in the search results, having dealt with this same issue since you took to the internet to find more research. There’s another thing—vampires are fictional, just like witches and werewolves and all those monsters that go bump in the night. All those creatures are just made up fairy tales to scare young children… but then why are you the one quivering in your boots? 

“Mrs. (L/N)?” You nearly flinch at the sound of your name, frantically moving to close the cover of your laptop. Your tension immediately releases at the sight of one of your students standing over your desk with an expression of confusion, “Sorry if I interrupted—” 

“No, no. It’s nothing important.” You quickly say before sending the boy a pointed look, “And what have we talked about? Mrs. (L/N) makes me feel way too old. Call me (Y/N), please Hyunjin.”  

“Sorry, (Y/N). I keep forgetting.” Hyunjin smiles sheepishly.

You shake your head with a chuckle, “What can I do for you, kiddo?” 

“I’m confused about this assignment Professor Park gave us yesterday.” You take the thick packet that Hyunjin offers, skimming through the many pages as he continues to explain, “I get that he wants us to analyze different elements of the excerpt, but I don’t get exactly how I’m supposed to do that…” 

“How to analyze the story?” 

“How I figure out the right stuff to analyze.” 

“Well, the thing about literature is that there’s no such thing as the ‘right stuff’ to analyze.” You meet Hyunjin’s gaze again, tapping the tab of your pen against the front of his assignment with a shrug. “You could read a story and feel one thing, but then I could read the same story and feel something completely different, and the author who wrote the story in the first place could have created it with a different intent than what both you and I got. 

“Think about it like… eating an apple.” You hold up the apple you brought for lunch, “You can just eat it how it is, or peel off the skin and just eat the flesh, or even cut it and up and put it into a pie. There’s no one right way to eat it—” Hyunjin intently watches as you place the fruit back on your desk. “—it’s the same concept in analyzing literature. As long as you find some sort of meaning beneath the words, you’ve done your job.” 

“Thanks, (Y/N).” You return Hyunjin’s smile as you hand him back his assignment. He tucks the paper into his messenger bag before nodding at the stack of papers on the edge of your deck, “Prof has you over your head in grading again?...”

“If you think this is bad, you should have seen what I had over the weekend.” 

“He takes advantage of you, you know.” 

You raise an eyebrow, “You guys all take advantage of me, and I’m not even your real professor.” 

“Somedays I wish you were. I learn more from talking with you in five minutes than listening to Park’s ninety-minute long lectures.” 

“Hate to tell you, you and your little entourage would get away with a hell of a lot less if I were in charge.” Your eyes shift toward the students lingering around the classroom, most either socializing or packing up some last minute supplies. You recognize Hyunjin’s group of friends waiting near the entrance, acknowledging their excited waves when they catch your gaze. 

Hyunjin chuckles, his own gaze drifting down to the notebook laid open across the surface of your desk. His confused expression returns as he skims through your hastily written notes before you have the time to grab them from view, “Are you doing research on… vampires?” 

“I-It’s for a, uh, a special project I’m working on for the university… about the town.” 

“Moon Dye Bay does technically have a history of the supernatural—especially witches.” Hyunjin explains, “You know, if you’re looking for something, or someone specific, I would check out the archives in the Town Hall. They probably have a whole bunch of ancient stuff down there.” 

Hyunjin’s advice sparks a multitude of new ideas within your brain: The archives probably date back to the beginning years of the town, meaning there has to be some account of residency in 1770. If you can find Jinyoung’s, or Jaebeom’s name, you’ll be one step closer to ending this ignorance… or one step closer to finding out a truth that could change your life forever. 

“I—” You nod your head, “I might. Thanks, Hyunjin.”  

“It’s the least I could do. I wouldn’t have passed this class last semester if it weren’t for you.” 

A call of Hyunjin’s name snatches both the student’s and your attention. Hyunjin shouts a quick response back to his awaiting friends before offering you a sheepish smile, “I should get going before they come over here and drag me away, but thank you again, (Y/N).” 

“Just make sure you get that assignment in on time, or it’s an automatic zero.” 

Hyunjin throws both a radiant smile and a playful wink in your direction as he heads toward the exit, “See you next week, Ms. (L/N).” 

“Call me that again and I’ll flunk your ass.” You shake your head and watch as Hyunjin, his friends and the remainder of the students filter out of the classroom, leaving you to your lonesome once again. With a heavy sigh, you bury your face in your palms, thumbing away the pain in your temples. 

Even if you do manage to find answers, where are you supposed to go after the fact? If Jinyoung is a—is not human, then everything you’ve ever known and believed is just… gone. Turned into a dust like the ghost of a forest after a fire. If vampires are real, then what other monsters lurk in the shadows? What other monsters are here? In Moon Dye Bay? 

...What kind of danger have you gotten yourself into? 

 ☽ ☽ ☽ ☽ ☽ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ 

The taste of bourbon runs bitter along Jinyoung’s taste buds, only to travel smoothly down the length of his throat and settle warmly in the pit of his stomach. He lowers the crystal glass from his lips, licking away the remnants of alcohol that remain before gazing outside the large, rain-stained window. The silhouettes of foggy trees and foliage stare back, doing little to cure the racing of his thoughts. 

A hunter and a witch working together to kill other witches… and to think that he had faced every type of enemy in the book.

 Jinyoung has met thousands of witches over the years, some who were not too keen on working with others of their kind, but never one who actively goes around slaughtering other covens. It’s against the Balance of Nature for witches to murder witches. Then again, the practice of black magic is too… so why would a witch, who already has access to such power, strive to kill their own?... Less it be for more power. But even then, to steal another witch’s magic would require mass amounts of energy beyond energy. 

And he’s only met one other witch who has been able to foster that much strength to do so. 

Jinyoung releases a deep breath before taking another sip of his drink, welcoming the temporary calm it brings to his mind. He turns away from the window to head toward the desk in the corner of his bedroom while shrugging the suit jacket from his shoulders. After throwing the garment over the back of the chair and setting his cup down, Jinyoung unbuttons and rolls the sleeves of his white shirt to his elbows, providing some much needed cool relief to his bare skin. He presses his palms against the surface of the desk, leaning forward to stretch the tension from his arms.

He’s not sure whether it’s because of the alcohol or the rain, but Jinyoung’s thoughts can’t help but shift to you for what seems like the millionth time in the past few days. Since your encounter a couple days prior, you always seem to make an appearance inside his head. It’s almost as if he can’t be rid of your face, your voice, your everything… not that he would ever want to. Especially since he made a pact to keep his distance—for your safety, and his sanity. 

Jinyoung moves toward the bathroom while undoing his button up, ready to temporarily wash away the stress and concern of the crisis at hand, when his bedroom flies open with a loud crash. He barely has a second to process the entry before his body is shoved back against the wall, a pair of hands holding the collar of his now torn shirt and a pair of enraged eyes searing into his soul. 

Jinyoung raises an eyebrow, “This was one of my favorite shirts, hyung.” 

“You better have a good fucking excuse on why you’re hanging around with Tuan and his pathetic band of magicians?” 

“Couldn’t you have asked without ruining my clothes?” 

“Jinyoung…” 

Jinyoung releases a sigh of exhaustion, quickly realizing that Jaebeom won’t unhand him without an answer. 

“The coven is being targeted by a supernatural hunter and a witch. Their seer was killed last week.” 

“So what? You suddenly care about a bunch of witches?” 

“Mark and his coven are the reason we were allowed to remain in Moon Dye in the first place. If they die, do you really think the pack and the league will still let us stay?” Jinyoung shakes his head, carefully watching as Jaebeom paces toward the opposite end of his bedroom—his expression growing more and more infuriated. “Besides, I’m taking care of it.”  

“You’re taking care of it? Really?” Jaebeom whirls around with a scoff, “Did it completely slip your mind that these are the same fuckers who tried to kill us to begin with? Tuan and his alpha wolf bitch?” 

“I’m just ensuring our peaceful livelihood here, hyung.” Jinyoung stands his ground, calmly staring at his companion. “You may not care, and you may not like it, but frankly, I love this town, and I want to stay—it’s our home for goodness sake.” 

“You’re playing with goddamn fire, Jinyoung. Do you really think they’ve let go of the fact that we killed—” 

“For fucksake, Jaebeom!” Jaebeom’s expression falters at Jinyoung’s sudden outburst and lack of honorifics. The younger of the pair tugs at the roots of his scalp before heaving an audible sigh of exhaustion, “I’m too tired to fight with you. Please—just trust me when I say that I am taking care of it.”  

Jaebeom shakes his head, “How many times have I told you not to fuck around with witch business? Do you remember what happened the last time you—?” 

“I’m tired, hyung.” Jinyoung shrugs off Jaebeom’s starting-attempts-at-an-argument along with his torn shirt. He feels Jaebeom’s gaze following his near-to-bare form as he enters the bathroom, throwing one last comment over his shoulder, “And last I remember, you killed Jackson Wang. Not me.” 

Jinyoung doesn’t spare another glance at Jaebeom’s expression and shuts the door, cursing the fact that he forgot to grab his bourbon.

 ☽ ☽ ☽ ☽ ☽ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ 

“Don’t worry about it, (Y/N).” Jihyo carefully maneuvers her belongings onto one arm, utilizing the other to open the front door with some amount of struggle. “Sana’s boss is making her work overtime too, so I’ll just hang out here with Momo and Mina tonight.” 

“Yeah, I got her text.” Carefully shutting the obstacle with her foot, Jihyo continues deeper into the apartment, pausing every now and then to stabilize the phone on her shoulder. She manages to make it into the kitchen without any accident, heaving the Chinese take-out up on the countertop with a relieved sigh. “I shouldn’t be long. I just have to take care of some last minute stuff for Park.” 

“Just do what you need to do.” Jihyo quickly adds, “And please, for my sake, take a goddamn Uber home.” 

Your chuckle carries over the line, “You got it, Mom.” 

“I’m serious, (Y/N). With my luck, you’ll land your ass in the hospital again.” 

“I’ll be careful. I promise.” 

Jihyo tosses her purse on a nearby table before running her fingers through her hair, offering a small smile to Momo who suddenly emerges from the living room. She nods, “See you in the morning then.”

“Yep. Night, babe.” 

At your goodbye, Jihyo hangs up the call and deposits her phone beside her purse. She moves to unpack the bags as Momo approaches, throwing a sheepish grin toward the newcomer, “It looks like it’s just gonna be you, Mina and I tonight, so I hope you’re hungry.” 

Momo hums, her gaze remaining on Jihyo as she goes about grabbing plates and utensils from various cupboards. Jihyo can’t help but shudder from the intensity of her hawk-like stare, but chooses to stay silent while laying out the food. Even then, her skin still continues to crawl, especially when Momo begins to mumble to herself. 

“Sorry, I didn’t catch that?” Jihyo turns at a particular murmur, tilting her head at her blonde companion. To Jihyo’s surprise, Momo doesn’t answer, but steps closer, practically caging Jihyo in the tiny kitchenette. Jihyo finds herself anxious at the lack of space. “Wh-What are you—?” 

“You can see the tattoo.” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about…” 

“Really? Cause I think you do.” 

Jihyo shakes her head, “It was honestly just a mis-misunderstanding—” 

“Look again.” 

“I really—”

“Look. Again.”  

The rational part of Jihyo’s brain yells at her to flee from the scene, disliking the borderline sinister expression graced along Momo’s features. However, her curiosity seizes the remainder of her self-control: 

She lowers her gaze to Momo’s right arm, finding the same dark, supposedly imaginary ink patterned in various elements: Jagged tree branches, illegible symbols, and compass needles pointing in an unknown direction. 

“What do you see?” 

“I-I don’t know.” Jihyo presses herself as close to the edge of the counter as she can, faltering beneath Momo’s still approaching form. “I see a tattoo, but-but that’s not possible—” 

“Wrong.” She gasps at Momo’s harsh grip on her arm, “You can see it… because you’re just like me.” 

“What are you even talking about? Momo, this is—” 

“It’s just like I said,” Jihyo’s mouth snaps open as her companion releases her hand to poke the back of her hand, causing the inked needle to spin right there across her skin. She doesn’t know how it’s possible, but somewhere deep inside her gut—Jihyo knows everything is real.

“You’re a hunter too.” 

 ☽ ☽ ☽ ☽ ☽ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ 

There was once a time Jaebeom remembers where him and Jinyoung used to be close—a time where they used to be true brothers. The kind that were there for each other. The kind that fought side by side no matter the enemies who awaited on the other side. The kind that didn’t keep secrets from one another. Jaebeom would never admit it aloud, but sometimes he finds himself missing those days—missing Jinyoung. 

A part of him knows he’s the reason for the distance that has wedged between them, but even so, Jaebeom is too pig-headed to willingly accept all the blame, more so since Jinyoung has burned his own fair share of bridges in their various lifetimes together. Some far worse than what Jaebeom has thought of doing. 

Jaebeom never truly intends to hurt Jinyoung. He just gets so angry, and when Jaebeom is angry… he becomes very, very hungry. 

And you just happen to be right there, walking through the doors of the Town Hall and into the greedy shadows of the night. The moonlight bathes across your skin, practically illuminating your body for his benefit. Jaebeom knows he shouldn’t—knows that Jinyoung may hate him forever—but just as with everything else, Jaebeom chooses not to care. 

You’re being careful, he quickly notices, between the hesitant steps you take and the careful eye you keep over your shoulder. The knowledge only strengthens Jaebeom’s bloodlust. He can’t help but imagine how your blood will taste… Will it be sweet like honey? Or savory like a freshly-grilled piece of meat? His mouth waters in anticipation as he slinks closer and closer toward you. Like a predator rounding in on his prey. 

Thanks to his inhuman speed and strength, it only takes Jaebeom seconds to immobilize and press you against the nearest secluded wall where even the brightest rays of the moon can’t reach. The scream you attempt to release is muffled beneath his palm, while his other hand busies itself with revealing the delectable skin of your throat. Your scent hits him like a pile of bricks, and it’s unlike anything he has ever experienced before. He grows frenzied, almost deranged by the fragrance, desperately craving more and more. 

He easily counters your thrashes and squirms against his hold, practically suffocating your figure with his own. Feeling the thread bearing his self-control slowly splintering, Jaebeom parts his lips, runs his tongue across the pointed tips of his fangs and prepares to guzzle the pain  away, when your voice slips into his ears: 

“Don’t do this, please…” 

He makes the mistake of meeting your gaze. All at once, Jaebeom can sense the tidal waves of your fear, your passion, your will to live just in the glittering rings of your eyes. It leaves him breathless, no longer controlled by his need to feed, and instead, floating amongst his own disarrayed thoughts and pent-up emotions that he only experiences when he chooses to embrace his humanity. 

“Jaebeom…” 

You know his name— 

Jaebeom realizes at once he can’t do this—he can’t hurt you. Not when you’re looking at him with those eyes and speaking to him with that voice. No matter how intoxicating your aroma. He won’t hurt you. 

Jaebeom grabs your chin with near-to-trembling fingers and leans closer until the tip of his nose barely grazes along yours. In a hushed, yet stern tone, he murmurs, “You’re going to walk home and forget any of this ever happened. You never saw me… Understand?” 

“I—” He watches your eyes widen, “I understand.” 

Jaebeom doesn’t stay to check the result of his compulsion, quickly stepping away from your body and dashing far, far away from that alleyway. He doesn’t stop even when he’s thousands of miles away from Moon Dye Bay, trying to escape this spell you cast over his mind. But no matter how much distance he covers, Jaebeom can’t outrun the lingering ghost of your gaze… 

Jaebeom can’t outrun how, in that brief moment, you made him feel so completely human. 

 ☽ ☽ ☽ ☽ ☽ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ 

“I just don’t get how someone could do something like this.” Mark nods in agreement at Youngjae’s statement, watching his younger counterpart take a sip of his luke-warm coffee from his perch behind the lectern. “I mean, why take all these innocent lives—witches or not?”  

“Some people are just… fucked up, I guess.” 

“I don’t believe that.” Youngjae shakes his head, thumbing thoughtfully at the arm of his mug. “There has to be a reason, hyung. People aren’t just—born evil.”  

Deep down, Mark knows Youngjae is right, but he can’t find it in himself to reply, silently continuing to flip through the old spellbook in his own grasp. This particular text has been in his family for generations upon generations. It was given to him by his mother soon after his magic began to flourish—the last gift he received before her death. 

Due to the Tuan ancestral bloodline’s specialization in spellcasting, this book contains almost every spell known to witch-kind. He’s used its contents to defeat threats in various situations—this time should be no different. At least, he hopes so.   

“If we have any chance at winning this fight, our best bet would be to take out the witch first.” Mark carries the large book toward the table where Youngjae is sat, setting the pages out for both of them to see. “I’m thinking we can halt their magic flow somehow, so there’s no way them or their partner can touch us—” 

“So like a halting spell? Or a disruption spell?” 

Mark shakes his head, “A simple halting spell won’t work. Not if they’re practicing black magic.” 

“But what if we could pull enough power of our own?” Youngjae inquires, “I mean, with you, me, Lia, Jisung and Minho, shouldn’t that be enough to overpower their source?”

“Not necessarily.” Mark sighs, “Black magic is… complicated, but powerful. Depending on what or who exactly our witch is drawing from, we could be easily killed—especially if that is what they’re aiming for.” 

“Right. Have you… heard from Minho? Since earlier?” 

“No.” 

Youngjae hums at Mark’s haughty answer, watching silently as the older continues to flip through the giant book. Upon reaching a certain page, Mark halts and angles his findings to better show the younger witch. 

“We may be able to link their dark magic to something, like an object or even something alive. It wouldn’t necessarily block it, but if we channel it elsewhere, it could at least give us enough time to incapacitate them?” 

“Will Jinyoung be able to take on both the hunter and the witch?” 

“I don’t know.” Mark’s teeth sink into his bottom lips, his thoughts feverishly racing at Youngjae’s observation. An idea pops into his mind—one that replenishes a forgotten ache in his heart. Casting away the sinking feeling in his gut, Mark says, “The pack… might be able to.”

“Hyung…” Youngjae offers a sympathetic look that makes Mark’s gut lurch, “I don’t know if that’s a good id—”  

Youngjae’s voice is cut off by the sudden slam of the mausoleum door, opening to reveal a dark silhouette emerging from the black of night. With Youngjae at his side, Mark immediately rises at the intrusion, preparing for a possible fight, but quickly relaxes when he realizes the identity of the abrupt visitor: 

“(Y/N)? What are you doing here—?” 

“Save it!” Mark almost reels back at the amount of pure venom laced in your tone, growing more and more confused at the blend of animosity, desperation and what seems to be betrayal, written across your face. “You better have a good fucking excuse for lying to me all these goddamn months, Tuan!” 

“What are you talking about? (Y/N)—?”

“I’m talking about the fact that Park Jinyoung and Im Jaebeom are fucking vampires!” Mark’s blood runs cold at your response. At your next words, though he can’t see himself, Mark knows his face flushed as white as a ghost:

“And you—you’re a witch, Mark.” 

[taran-wanderer]

[spams n sunflowers into your ask box]

my friend you’ve no idea what you’ve wrought :3c

so I have a lot of OCs, and most of them live in a fictional town in Indiana named Silver Lake (in the universe that I’ve given the same name) In this universe one can be born with some sort of mutation, and mutations usually can be categorized into three categories: weird body thing, weird power thing, and innate magical ability Mutants make up roughly 40-50% of the population globally, and mutations aren’t hereditary so it’s ultimately just random whether any given person will be a mutant (two human parents can have a mutant child, and conversely two mutant parents can have a human child) As for OCs that live in this universe, let’s start with my self insert! she has two heads. there’s still only one of her, which means that usually she talks in unison with herself which can be A Little Bit Unsettling if you’re not used to it (as a fair few mutations tend to be). this is, if it wasn’t obvious, an example of Weird Body Thing An example of Weird Power Thing would be my older/younger sibling J, who has superhuman healing abilities: they heal from injuries faster than any given human, but also they can regenerate missing body parts (up to and excluding the brain). I say older/younger sibling because they’re a year or so older than me but they were adopted after me, so I consider them my younger sibling even though they are per se older Oops Speaking of adoption! the main story here follows Becky and Victoria Newton, who run a lil cafe type place and is a lawyer/case worker/someone in the legal system, respectively. I, don’t actually know if victoria took becky’s last name when they got married but i can’t think of a better one atm so that is how it is for now! Becky is a super butch mutant with six arms and she is very good at using her six arms to make milkshakes and hug her children, and Victoria has Innate Magical Ability of hieromancy (law magic) which she uses to her advantage at her workplace. everything all started when Victoria was assigned the case of this like six year old mutant girl whose parents thought she was freaky and didn’t want her, and Victoria went home and was like “beck we can’t just leave her there we have to take care of her!” and they ended up adopting her and then after that at least like....seven more kids? at various points. OH no eight I forgot about leigh but only because she shows up like, during the story? ANyway that first girl is paisley and she is now in her 30s just doin paisley things. she has a mutation of she can take herself apart at the joints and also just kinda rearrange herself? she has a nervous habit of switching around the index and middle fingers of one hand and she’s reached a point where she has no idea if they’re in the correct places or not which is fun man I could talk about the newtons for 80 years but let’s move on to some other characters elise! elise is good she has a siren voice mutation and to that end she Does Not Speak Like Ever, instead electing to use ASL so that she doesn’t make people do things. she and j are a couple and they’re very cute J works at the library with a few folks, Lucas has a mutation of straight up just moves like peter gabriel in the sledgehammer music video which is Fun And Funky, and sophie is actually! a human, she’s bewheelchaired and synesthetic and works in the children’s department which is great because she loves hearing about what kids are excited about and also getting kids excited about exciting things I think sophie and penelope might be a couple or at least headed there. penelope has a mutation of she just vanishes sometimes? like she’ll disappear into nothingness and then reappear at some point later. there’s a lot of caveats to this ofc that i’m not going to get into right now but. she’s doing her best. she and sophie live in a house with jack and mona who are Not a couple. mona has a mutation of like. two pupils and irises per eye, which makes sight Incredibly Inconvenient for her so i think she’s like. legally blind? i need to do a bit more research and thinkin about her. jack is excellent they have DID and they’re very autistic in the quiet sort of way so they’re gonna be fun to write about if i ever get around to actually writing the things i have in my head Oops ooo speaking of humans! jace and leaf are great they’re just. doin their best jace has no legs and plays the bass and is full of anxiety and doesn’t make friends for fear of losing friends, and leaf changes that about her because leaf befriends her over being mutually leg disabled (leaf has a pretty intense fatigue disorder) and makes jace realize that Hey Friends Are Good Actually, and then they end up as a couple with a lot of friends and it’s good :) hey let’s talk about vi and hazel! they’re part of Sign Language Gang along with elise (and by necessity J even though they don’t strictly Have to use it), on account of hazel does not have a mouth and vi is deaf! the former is a mutation (she has a spooky monster mouth on her stomach and that’s how she like. eats, and things) and the latter is just. she’s just deaf. her mutation is that she’s a plant! technically a carnivorous plant by definition--er no wait an omnivorous plant? somethin. she’s good they’re good. i think that’s everyone i can relate to one another and I think this is probably enough sunflowers but! thank you for the sunflowers i enjoy thinking about ocs :)

[formeandmyfics]

MORE THAN YOU KNOW PART2

JUGENEA FAN FICTION

Disclaimer: Language, Sex & Medication mention 

I WOULD SUGGEST READING PART 1 FIRST

October 1951 “Oh my Gosh, look, they lit it up,” Kay Thompson’s voice excitingly howled, “Driver can you pull over?” As the town car slowed to a stop on the curve the passenger window rolled down and Judy’s large, dark eyes stared up at the brightly lit theater. The Palace theater hadn’t been lit up like that for years and now it was now lit up just for her. RKO PALACE 2-SHOWS DAILY -2 JUDY GARLAND & AN ALL STAR SHOW Judy was in a daze for a moment. When she was in ‘bad’ Vaudeville growing up, it was her family’s dream to play the Palace. It was every Vaudevillian’s dream to play that theater. When she was in For Me and My Gal, the movie hit close to home and she was delighted to play it. That was just a movie set, though. This…this was the real thing. As Kay and Gene all erupted in a cheer and laughter, she closed her eyes and thought ‘It’s happening, Papa.’ But in one quick moment, Gene grabbed her and happily planted a big, hard kiss to her cheek making her erupt in giggles. After relishing the moment, the foursome made their way to The Stork Club, a popular New York nightclub for celebrities and socialites. There they ran into many friends and celebrities who crowded around their booth. Judy, of course, the main attraction. When Gene saw that Judy had a moment to breath, as everyone busied themselves in conversation, he slipped into the booth next to her. “Hello, there,” she said sweetly. “Hello, there,” he repeated before leaning into her ear, “You know what I’m thinking?” “Considering you’ve been on the Bourbon tonight, I have a pretty good guess what you’re thinking,” she said slyly with a hint of seduction in her voice. Gene looked to make sure no one was looking before he lifted one the large menu’s to shield them for a moment. She giggled softly, “What are you doing?” “It’s no one’s business to see this,” he chuckled before kissing her. The kiss was gentle at first contact, but then his hand slid along her neck to the back of her head as he gave her a very, delicious, French kiss that left butterflies between her legs. When he broke contact with her lips, just barely, she placed her lips together as if tasting and she gently ‘mmm’. He smiled and tilted his head to top that when the menu was suddenly whipped away from his hand startling them both. Van Johnson wore a big silly grin as his eyebrows rose, “Whatchyou doin’.” Judy gasped, “Darling! Hahaha,” she got up to embrace him, “I didn’t know you were in New York!” Gene stood up to kiss Evie. When Evie and Judy hugged, Evie gasped taking Judy’s hand, “What is this?!” “You two finally aren’t going to be living in sin anymore, huh,” Van said laying a congratulatory hand on Gene’s back. “That’s right,” Gene grinned ear to ear. “It’s beautiful, honey,” Evie quipped. “Isn’t it,” Judy smiled happily. “When did you propose,” Evie asked Gene. “Back in August. We were vacationing at Lawford’s place in Palm Springs," Gene answered “You seem like the kind of guy to go all out to propose." “I was planning on a big to-do but the moment just came up and it was actually quite simple,” Gene stated. “It was simple but romantic,” Judy assured him, “It was dawn and we just woke up and we took a walk on the beach in our pajamas and then he just did it.” “Awww. Was it a surprise?” “Oh, yes.” “I’m so happy for the two of you,” Van sincerely said reaching to kiss Judy’s cheek, “May I take this opportunity to share a dance with the Bride-to-be?” “You may,” Judy said and let Van lead hear to the dancefloor. As someone came over to Evie, Gene grabbed his glass and downed the rest of his Bourbon, when he spotted Kay motioning for him at the other table. He went over and got his lighter out to light her cigarette, “What’s up?” “I want to talk to you for a second. I didn’t want to mention anything, but I’m a little concerned.” “Concerned about what,” he asked lowering his voice like hers was. “Earlier today, at rehearsal, I went into Judy’s rehearsal bag to grab some sheet music…” “Yeah,” he said casually. “And I saw something,” she said weary. When she didn’t continue, he gave her a questioning but persistent look, “What?” “I saw a few medication bottles.” “Her sleeping pills,” he said as if it were the most natural thing in the world. “Maybe…maybe,” she nodded, “I thought of that.” “What did the bottles say,” he asked as he placed a cigarette between his lips. “I don’t know. I didn’t have the chance to look because Judy came in.” Kay licked her bottom lip before taking another drag of her cigarette, “Her moods have been erratic lately. And I know that’s ‘Judy’ but these are a little more intense.” “Yeah, I noticed, but it’s just stress with the show coming up.” Kay ignored his excuse, “Dottie and I have been helping with her gowns. She has lost over 10 pounds in a week, Gene.” This got his attention, as he had noticed her weight loss as well in a short amount of time. He never really thought about it, except she looked marvelous still in a healthy way. When their eyes met, Kay continued, “Why would she keep her sleeping pills in her rehearsal tote?” Gene looked down and fiddled with his lighter as he knew what she was getting at, “I don’t think so, baby. She promised me she wouldn’t." Kay saw the denial on his face, she understood why, but wanted to make sure he knew of the possibility, “I know. And maybe I’m wrong. I just wanted to let you know, just in case. Maybe you can check, hm?” “Yeah, maybe. Thanks,” he said giving her a thank you smile before he turned to look at Judy. She was slow dancing with Van, but in mid laugh. He smiled wider seeing how happy she looked. She caught eyes with him at that moment. When she saw him staring, Judy tilted he head and gave him a wink.

It was a little after one in the morning when Judy and Gene walked into her apartment at Beekman Place, a swanky area on the east side of Manhattan where Kay had an apartment. It was convenient, not only to be one floor away from her friend, but was only a 15 minute drive to the theater. When they shut the door, Gene was just a tad wobbly on his legs, not much, but it was clear he was feeling good from the liquor. Judy was sober as a judge and very amused as he helped her with her coat, but couldn’t get her arm out. “Honey, stop. Here, let me do it,” Judy giggled trying to free her arm. “Well, damn, if we can’t even get your coat off, we’re in a lot of trouble later,” he chuckled. Once freed from her coat, Gene hung it up, then placed his own coat and fedora on the rack, “I’m gonna go take a quick shower so I don’t have to take one when I get up.” “What time does your plane leave again?” “Eleven,” he said as he walked into the bedroom. Twenty minutes later, Judy was sitting on the sofa reading a magazine, still in her cocktail dress, when Gene appeared in the doorway of the bedroom clad only his pajama pants. He had expected her to be in bed waiting for him when he got out of the shower, but she wasn’t. As he stood there, he didn’t say anything, he just looked at her persistently. She looked up at him, “What?” “Come on.” “Come on, what?” “I’m not going to be back for almost two weeks. Get in here,” he said raising his voice exaggerating. “Whyyy,” she whined. He knew she was teasing him. “You take forever to get ready for bed, and I want my dessert, so I need you in there now.” He started to turn to go back in the bedroom when she spoke up like a little girl, “Make me.”

Gene turned around and gave her a ‘Oh, really’ look which made her bust up laughing and he walked up towards her. “You can’t do nuttin’. I’ll call the house detective.” Gene ignored her and grabbed her swiftly over his shoulder as she laughed as they disappeared into the bedroom.            The next morning, Gene was dressed nicely, all ready for the airport, as he made coffee in the kitchenette. It was a quarter past 9, and quiet, as Judy was still sound asleep in the next room. After pouring himself a cup of coffee, he walked over to the patio doors and opened it letting the crisp air invade his being. The trees all along the street below were bright orange, the color magnified by the morning sunshine beaming down. Oh, how he missed fall mornings in New York. You didn’t get changing colors of nature and fresh air like this in Los Angeles. With the sounds of birds and bustling traffic in the distance, Gene had a moment of solitude as he replayed the past few days. He accompanied Judy to New York on the train and they arrived the last day of September.  That was only three days ago, but they were very productive three days. As planned, Judy started rehearsals at the theater on October 1st. Chuck Walters directed and staged it, Hugh Martin was her pianist/accompanist and her conductor was the same young gentleman that conducted her Palladium shows. Roger couldn’t be there as he was at MGM working but she had worked with him in LA, on laying out the musical sequences and writing brand new songs just for that occasion. Kay, of course, was there to help her with vocals and Dottie tagged along as a personal assistant. She was surrounded by people she was familiar with, but most importantly, whom she could trust. The rehearsals, from what Gene saw, were great the first few days. She had a lot of energy and was happy, but she was also direct in her approach on how she wanted things to be and what made her feel comfortable. She got involved in everything – even down to the lighting. She was very poignant about what light mark would hit her during each song.

When she rehearsed ‘Over the Rainbow’, she was a little winded since it came right after the tramp number. She got a little annoyed with herself that she was out of breath, and she didn’t want to have a lull in the program, with the audience waiting while, ‘Old, fat Dorothy tries to breathe,’ as she put it. During her frustration, Gene had walked up to the orchestra pit below the stage where she stood He suggested, “Baby, just sit down and sing it.” “What?” “Just sit on the edge of the stage so you can catch your breath and then sing the Rainbow number. Hell, you probably won’t even need a microphone you sing so damn loud.” Judy actually loved the idea. A lot of her show was informal anyways. At the Palladium, she took off her shoes and joked with the audience and talked with them…to show them she was a real person. And she was doing the same thing at this show, even more so, staging the interaction purposefully. Her sitting down on the stage would bring it to a more intimate level and bring her closer to her audience, whom she adored. “…But do you think it’s too cheesy,” she asked. “They want cheese. They wouldn’t have watched any of your movies, if they didn’t want cheesy. Look at Summer Stock,” Walters had said. “That was pretty cheesy,” she added. “Right, but romantic. They want a performance, give them one, darlin.” When rehearsals were over, Gene assumed she’d want to get some rest, but she wanted to do the town, still full of energy. He was happy to join, to spend any time with his fiancé before he had to head back to LA to work on ‘Singing in the Rain’ which he was co-directing and starring. It was his baby, Judy knew that, so she was very understanding that he had to fly back and forth. God, he would miss her though. Ever since getting engaged, they found themselves inseparable when they were together. Gene smiled almost naughtily when he thought of last night. After knowing her for a decade, he could get so angry and so irritated with her and her almost bi-polar personality (she always used the excuse ‘I cannot help that I’m a Gemini’) but he knew how to handle her. One thing he never tired of, no matter the circumstance, was their intimacy. It seemed as the years went on, the sex got better. Making love or screwing, it was never dull, which is what he experienced with his ex-wife. That’s why he ended up with Judy in the first place. Sex with Judy never got dull because she was never dull. Last night, he didn’t know if it was the booze with him, or because they were to be separated again, but they had an unhinged session that they hadn’t had in quite some time. He also never tired of how she sounded during lovemaking especially when he pleasured her orally, which he did last night. He got his dessert. He was sure she was going to rip the bed sheets, as she arched, her hands clenching onto the white sheets for dear life. She begged him to stop, but didn’t push him away, as he overworked her through her orgasm. She gave him the same equal treatment before straddling him to start them off. Soon, she was begging him to fuck her, her sensations heightened. If they were in a hotel, the occupants in the entire hallway would’ve heard them. He even checked the bed afterwards, as he thought they broke it. They had a lot of laughs before they fell asleep. Gene chuckled to himself taking another sip of coffee as he walked back inside. He stopped in his tracks when his eyes landed on Judy’s rehearsal bag that was sitting on the edge of the couch. Suddenly, Kay’s words replayed in his head: “Why would she keep her sleeping pills in her rehearsal bag,” she had said to him worried, “Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe you can check, hm?” Now sober, things started to go through Gene’s head solemnly: her moods weren’t really erratic, but he had noticed she was more irritable than she had been for a while…she had accelerated energy day and night until she took a sleeping pill…she had sudden weight loss without changing her diet or exercising…she had heightened sensation during sex…he had seen these all before, when she was on her medication at Metro. Gene walked over to the couch and sat down next to the bag. He set his coffee cup down on the table before he hesitated. He never invaded Judy’s personal belongings. One thing they both agreed upon when moving in together was that they both respected each others personal space and private things. But, he had to know, just for himself, and for her own safety. He looked back at the bedroom door before he grabbed the bag. Opening it, he shuffled through items that were familiar to him: sheet music, makeup, her black, slipper flats, a silk Chinese scarf, a book she was currently reading and… There at the bottom of the bag, he saw two prescription bottles next to each other. Gene didn’t even have to look at the label to know that they weren’t her sleeping pills. These were orange bottles with ‘Office of Robert Clark, MD Malibu’ on the label. Her sleeping pills were in a white bottle prescribed by their trusted friend, Dr. Probirs, whose office was stationed in Beverly Hills. Gene’s eyes closed in disappointment before he looked at each of the bottles. It was as he assumed: they were an upper and downers. Gene’s first initial instinct was to down them in the toilet, but he knew that would just cause a fight. When she was still at Metro, they had fought about her medication during the later years, after her first cry for help when she cut her throat. Each time he brought up her ‘medication’, she boldly told him to ‘fuck off’ and that they were her business.  When she first started her last picture, Summer Stock, she was clean of medication, but she was terribly nervous and sometimes wobbly. She wanted to quit the project, to go back to resting like she had in Boston, but no one would hear of it. She went back on medication for the energy to continue the movie, which Gene did not like, but had no say. When Judy Garland wanted to do something, she just went ahead and did it. The medication was very closely watched and regulated. When she left the studio for good, one year ago, she had stopped the medication all together. When the two moved in together shortly after, she promised Gene that she would be done with them for good. She had even told him that on her own free accord. But he made her promise that if she needed medication again, or even if she thought about doing it for any reason, she would talk to him about it first and they would figure things out. Obviously, she had broken that promise. Gene found himself very angry, very hurt, but at the same time he did not want to jeopardize anything with her and this show. Screaming at her would change nothing. That wasn’t the way to handle Judy, he had learned early on in their relationship. She responded to calmness, flattery, wittiness, and no bullshit honesty when things were serious. If you yelled at Judy, she yelled back and either shut you out or become distant. No, confronting her right now was not the right thing to do. If she was back on medication, he knew she was vulnerable and possibly a ticking time bomb.

But he did wonder how long it had been since she had been back on them. Palladium? Just recently? It was a California doctor so obviously she had gotten them back home. Was it after they got engaged? All these questions rolled through his mind.

Gene placed the items carefully where he had found them and zipped up her rehearsal bag when he heard her sleepy voice call out for him from the bedroom.

Walking into the bedroom, Gene gave a slight smile before placing his hand on her head, sweeping some hair out of her face, "Did you sleep ok?"

"Mm hm," she moaned. When she saw him dressed in a suit, she became a little sad, "Are you leaving soon?"

"Yeah, baby," he said disappointingly, "I have to leave here in a few minutes."

Judy made a sad face and reached her arms out. He immediately got on the bed and half layed on top of her comfortably. For a moment, they just laid there together. Judy noticed the way he was looking at her, deep in thought with a worrisome look, and she furrowed her brow, "You ok?"

"Hm?"

"You look like something is bothering you."

"Other than having to leave you, again," he smiled and leaned in for a kiss. Gene then got serious real quick, "I really love you, Judy."

"I love you, too, darling."

Gene sat up and sat her up with him, taking her hands in his, "Everyone here loves you and cares about you...Chuck, Kay, Dottie, Hugh...you know that, don't you?"

"Of course. That's why I asked them to help me with this show."

"If you ever need anything, or you're feeling a little down, you can always go to them when I'm not here. You're never alone, I want you to know that. And if you ever need a break, it's ok to stop.”

Judy looked at him skeptically, “Yeah."

"And you know you can talk to me about anything. I've been there with you for years, I'm not going anywhere. If you ever need help with anything, anything at all, all you have to do is ask."

"Gene, why are you telling me this right now?"

He ignored her, "We trust each other, right?"

"Of course, but..."

"Is there anything you want to talk about before I leave?"

Judy’s confused face suddenly softened as looked dead into his eyes. Her lip quivered a bit, as if she was about to speak, the way it did when she was nervous, but then she just shrugged, “No. You'll be back the 15th, right," she asked.

Gene felt even more disappointment that she didn't confess but he responded, "Yep, I'll be back the day before your opening."

"And you'll be right there in the wings," she said as a confirmation.

"With bells on," he teased and he saw her relax, "What did I say at the lake house? I promise I'll be there no matter what. She show will be great and if you need any help, which I know you won't, I'll be right there beside you."

"Good. I want you in my side view at all times," she smiled

He smiled back and they kissed one more time, lingering a little longer.

When Gene left the apartment, with his fedora tilted on his head and suitcase in hand, he took the elevator down a floor to stop at Kay's. She opened the door at the second knock.

“Oh, good morning, darling,” she said with a cheery smile.

“Morning.”

“Are you on your way to the airport now?”

“Ya,” Gene looked down, pausing, and bit his bottom lip in a bit of distress before looking back up at her, “You were right, Kay.” He saw her curious expression quickly turn to comprehension.

“They weren’t sleeping pills, were they,” she carefully said. He shook his head, ‘no’.

“So, what happened,” she said crossing her arms as she leaned against the door frame.

“Nothing. I didn’t have the heart to ask her about them. All I know is, they’re from some MD in Malibu and they’re the same things she took at the studio.”

“Judy,” Kay sighed just as disappointed but then she got a little stern, “So, you’re just going to sweep it under the rug?”

“Of course not. But I’m also not going to start World War III right before her opening of the show. You know how she is. She’ll either play it off like it was just a bag of M&M’s I found or throw a tantrum and tell me to fuck off. Either way, she’ll put up a wall with me.”

Kay nodded knowing all too well, “That’s true. If that happened, anything could trigger her and she’d probably cancel the whole damn show.”

“Exactly. It’s too risky. Her career needs this. She needs this, baby. I’m not going to chance it with a confrontation. Believe me, when we fight, it never changes anything until we come to middle ground and we can’t do that with me 3000 miles away.”

Kay bit he nail in thought, “Ya, she’ll do whatever the hell she wants, anyways.”

“When I’m gone, can you just..can you..” Gene practically begged the blonde with his eyes.

She new exactly what he meant and smiled, “I was going to anyways. Everything will be fine. And don’t worry, I’m not going to say anything.”

“Thank you, doll. If you need anything, just call. If I’m not home, then call the studio.”

“You got it. Have a safe flight,” she said and they reached in for a kiss goodbye, “See ya the 15th.”

That afternoon, a cab pulled up in front of Gene and Judy’s home just as Lauren walked to the end of her driveway to fetch the mail. When she saw Gene get out, she happily went over to meet him. “Well hello, there,” she said as the cab drove away.

“Hello, there,” Gene replied letting her kiss him on the cheek.

“Just getting back from New York?”

“Yep.”

“We just got our tickets in the mail for the opening of the show.”

“Oh, that’s swell.”

“How’s the theater coming along?”

“It’s beautiful. They’ve re-done it all inside. New paint, new curtains, new chandeliers, the works.”

“How is she doing?”

“She’s great. Rehearsals, just from what I’ve seen the past few days, are going beautifully. And she sounds fantastic, Lauren. Her voice is stronger than it was in Europe.”

“Probably because she’s happier here. Look what she’s doing. She’s reopening the Palace and bringing back Vaudeville. That was an amazing idea you had there, Gene, if I do say so myself.”

“Thank you, thank you.”

“I hate the idea of you being all alone in that big house right now. If you don’t have any plans, why don’t you come with me to Marina Del Rey. We’re going to do a little sailing.”

“Ah, Captain Bogie, at it again, huh?”

“Yeah, so how about it?”

“Thanks, but I’ll have to pass right now. I’m a little tired from the flight.”

“Are you sure?”

“Oh, yeah. Being around people non stop in New York the past couple days wore me out. I want to relax a bit before I return back to work tomorrow.”

“Alright. You’re welcome to come over for dinner, too, anytime.”

“That, I’ll definitely take you up on.”

“See that you do,” she said walking away but just as Gene started up his driveway she turned around, “Say, what’s Judy number, where’s she staying so I can ring her up sometime?”

“She’s in the same building with Kay. Beekman Place. 9-7768.”

“Thanks, darling.”

When Gene shut the front door behind him, a very quiet, and partially dimmed, house greeted him. He could immediately smell the fresh aroma of lemons, which meant their housekeeper Joannie had probably been there that morning. Right now, there was no Judy, no Liza, no Nanny Mary, no housekeeper. It felt calm but odd, as it always did when Judy wasn’t around for a while. Whenever Judy was around, there was at least a few people buzzing nearby.

As Gene head up the stairs, he made a mental note to make sure to call Kerry. He knew Betsy was going to drop her off later but didn’t remember what time.

The white and peach toned Master Bedroom was clean and bright when he walked in, but a little stuffy as it was cool enough in Los Angeles to not need the air conditioning on. He immediately opened the veranda doors to let some air in, then turned on the radio. One habit he took from Judy after all these years, was need to have a radio, record player or television on at all times. He used to love complete silence, but now it made him a little antsy after a while.

Gene turned on a current baseball game and started unpacking his suitcase. When he rummaged through his toilette bag, he pulled out a piece of paper and immediately smiled. He didn’t even have to open it to know it was from her. Something she always did, was leave little notes for him. Even when they were together at home, she’d leave a note laying around. He knew she could express her emotions better when they were in writing or through her voice in song. He opened the piece of paper that was monogrammed ‘RKO Palace Theater’ on top, and in her familiar slanted cursive it read:

Thank you for all of your support, darling, and your great ideas. Imagine, the little, fat girl with pigtails playing the Palace. You and Me, we’re great, baby. Call me the second you get home.            - Love J

Gene sat on the edge of the bed and picked up the beside phone. He checked his watch to figure out what time it was in New York before dialing the theater. After getting through the receptionist, and then speaking briefly with the stage manager afterwards, he was patched through to Judy’s dressing room.

“Ms. Minnelli’s dressing room,” he heard Dottie say, whom always used Judy’s legal last name for security reasons.

“Hi, sweetheart, it’s Gene.”

“Oh hi. Hold on, Judy is right outside the door.”

There was silence for a moment before Judy picked up, her voice a little out of breath, “Hi, darling.”

“Hi, baby. Have I interrupted work?”

“No, they just called for a break, so you got me at the perfect time.”

“Did you run to the phone, I’m flattered,” he chuckled,teasing, as he still heard her try to catch her breath.

“I just did the Medley, in full voice.”

“Long song.”

“You got it. How was your flight?”

“Okay. I got your note, honey, thank you.”

“Oh, you found it, huh?”

“I’m trying to figure out when you put it in there considering I was awake when you fell asleep last night and woke up before you did this morning.”

“Magic.”

“I don’t doubt that.”

“Everything okay at home?”

“Yep, all quiet. Housekeeper was here earlier. I ran into Betty. She invited me to go out on the boat, but I think I’m just going to stay at home and relax. I have an early call at the studio tomorrow morning. She mentioned she was going to call you. She and Bogie got their tickets for opening night, too.”

“Oh, that’s wonderful. Honey, don’t forget, Kerry is being dropped off at 4.”

“4...” he double checked his watch and it said 3:45, “Shit. I forgot what time she was coming. How do you remember that and I don’t?”

“It’s in my repertoire to remember your business,” she teased.

“Anything else I forgot?”

Judy giggled, “She’s going to work with you and then Vincente is going to get her around noon for her play date with Liza.”

“Oh, that’s right. Well, I better go then. Everything okay on your end?”

“Yes, sir. Call me tomorrow. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

She made a kissy sound before hanging up. Gene hurried with emptying his suitcase and made sure Kerry’s room, which connected to Liza’s, was set. He had just enough time to change into casual wear when Kerry arrived.

After getting her settled in, he went into the Master Bathroom to fix the medicine cabinet door that had screws come loose on top, leaving it slanted. During one of their little ‘tiffs’, Gene had slammed it shut, a little too hard. So, it had been that way for quite some time. Fixing things, or building things, around the house relaxed him.

The radio still played a ballgame, as Kerry traipsed into the bedroom. Passing the bathroom door, she looked in to see her Dad screwing the cabinet with a nail between his lips, obviously occupied. So, she walked over to Judy’s vanity where her perfume, makeup and a costume jewelry box lay on top. Kerry picked up one of the Max Factor red lipsticks, curiously.

Gene was continuing with the cabinet, when Kerry stood in the doorway, and asked, “Daddy, why doesn’t Mommy wear red lipstick?”

He turned and saw Judy’s velvet red lipstick on his daughters lips, done neatly, but looking ridiculous on a 9-year-old, he had to laugh, “Go take that off.”

“Doesn’t it make me look pretty? I think it makes Judy pretty.”

“It makes you both pretty, but lipstick is not for nine-year-old girls.”

“I’m ten in 13 days,” she said with her chin up.

“Ten is still too young to wear lipstick, at least that color. Wipe it off now, please,” he said handing her a kleenex.”

“Why doesn’t Mommy wear red lipstick?”

“Your mother used to, when we first met. But then she liked the pinks better. Pink is pretty, too.”

“Do you like red better?”

Gene couldn’t help but smile at her unknowing innuendo, “I do like red better…but I won’t like it on you until you’re at least eighteen-years-old.”

Kerry rolled her eyes and disappeared back into the bedroom. When Gene was finished, he passed Judy’s walk-in closet where Kerry had her feet in a pair of black high heels.

“Why does Judy have such high shoes?”

“Because she’s short and it gives her height. Honey, what are you doing. I don’t think Judy would appreciate you touching all of her stuff.”

“Yah, huh! She told me I could play with whatever I wanted but to just be careful and not bring any drink or food in the bedroom. That was all.”

Gene looked at her like she was fibbing and Kerry’s eyes opened wide, “You don’t believe me! Call her right now, she’ll tell you. I’ll call her…” she went to stomp past Gene in the tall heels but he caught her and playfully tickled her lifting her up, the shoes falling off her feet.

“Oh, no, you don’t. She’s rehearsing right now. We’re not to bother her. If you’re that serious about it, I do believe you. But, I think she meant only when she’s home you can rummage around our bedroom.”

They went back in the bedroom and Kerry sat on the bed as Gene put his tools away. On the nightstand, she looked at a framed picture of Judy and her daddy. It was a studio-taken, promotional, black and white picture of the two of them from For Me and My Gal. Kerry didn’t know it was from that, as she hadn’t seen it, but the two were much younger in the photograph.

“Daddy?”

“Yah?”

“Are you really going to marry Judy?”

Gene paused a moment, before looking at her seriously, and he sat down on the edge of the bed worried, “I am. When we took you and Liza out to dinner to tell you about it, you were happy. Don’t you want me to marry her?”

“Oh, yes. It’s just, Liza has been calling you Papa Gene before you even told us you were getting married. And I was wondering if it’d be okay if I call her Mama Jude.”

Gene let out a funny breathe as if he were relieved, “Of course you can.”

“She’ll be okay with it?”

“Oh, honey, she’ll be so happy when she hears you call her that, believe me.”

“Good.”

He paused a moment, “Kerry, has your Mama said anything to you about me and Judy?”

“Like what?”

“Anything that’s maybe not too nice? You know, your mother and I aren’t married anymore. I just want to make sure we’re all friends.”

“No, she hasn’t said anything bad. When I told her about you marrying Judy she said something like, it was gonna happen eventually. But then her boyfriend asked me if Judy was gonna have a baby.”

Gene looked up at her, a little shocked. At least Kerry was too young to understand the meaning behind that, “Yeah, well, speaking of, how do you like Michael? Is he nice to you?”

“Oh, yes. He helps me with homework and he makes Mom laugh a lot.”

“That’s great,” Gene said sincerely.

“Is Judy gonna have a baby?”

“No, she’s not. At least not yet.”

“Soon? I’d love a baby brother or sister, Daddy.”

“Maybe the stork will bring us a baby after we’re married.”

“Mommy said I can go see Judy’s show in New York.”

“Yes, you’re all set to go with me the first weekend of November when I go back to New York.”

“I thought you were going back on my birthday?”

“Yes, Judy’s opening show is on your birthday, so I’ll be there. But I’m only staying a few days because I have to be back her for work. But then the next time I go back three weeks later, you’ll be with me. I’m sorry I won’t be able to be here for your birthday, honey.”

“That’s okay. Judy needs you.”

Gene kneaded his eyebrows, “Where did you hear that?”

Kerry shrugged not the bit interested, “I heard Mommy say it once.”

“She’s right, kiddo. But listen, I’m going to go to FAO Schwartz and bring you back something great and then we’ll go celebrate with ice cream sundae’s at the Brown Derby.” Kerry smiled and rocked her body back and forth excited, “And speaking of food, lets go make some dinner.”

He took her hand and they walked out.

The next evening, Judy was looking through a bridal magazine in a back bedroom of Betty Davis’ penthouse as she hummed along to Josephine Baker’s ‘La Conga Blicoti’ that the infamous singer was singing live with the piano in the next room.

“Ow! Dammit Kay,” Judy said trying to turn to look down at her friend.

Kay was on her knees behind her with a knitting needle between her teeth as she was sewing up a seam that had ripped in Judy’s flared cocktail dress.

“Well, if you would quit wiggling your ass, Judy, then I wouldn’t stick ya.”

“What do you think of this,” Judy said showing her a ‘2nd wedding’ bridal dress.

“I think you have too much boob for that,” she bluntly stated.

“Oh, stop.”

“I still cannot believe Bette has a bridal magazine laying around. She married Gary last year. There you are, my dear, all set.” Kay stood up and then saw a silk, champagne-colored, halter-style dress that was tight on the bodice but flared at the skirt and came up to the knee. “Oh, that one is beautiful.”

“I like the color.”

“It would go great with your skin tone and dark hair. Who’s the designer?”

“Chanel.”

“Oh, I’ll definitely ring up Gabby if you’re interested in looking at some designs. Have you two talked about when you’ll get married?”

“No. But I’d like to do it shortly after we close here. I don’t want to wait too long. I’d be happy just going to the Justice of the Peace tonight if he were here.”

“I bet you would,” Kay giggled.

“I don’t want a big wedding. Just something intimate with our closest family and friends, maybe even in our backyard. I know Gene would love that.”

“It would be pretty with the rose bushes you have out back and the koy pond. But then a big party afterwards for everyone?”

“Oh, of course. We’ll buy out Ciro’s,” Judy teased and they both laughed as they walked out back to the party.

Gene stood in the doorway of the Master Bedroom, leaning against the door frame biting on his thumb nail with apprehension. He never felt such anxiety to enter his own bedroom before. After coming home from the studio that evening, only one thing was on his mind: Judy’s medication. He had momentarily forgot about it after spending the previous afternoon with Kerry and the last time he spoke to Judy she sounded well and happy. But being back at the studio, where almost everyone took them, it was hard to forget about it.

Of course, he had taken them himself, but he quit them a few years ago. And even then, he only took them if he had a night shoot or a ‘back-to-back’ where you filmed into the night and had an early call the next morning. He wondered if Judy hadn’t gone off of the at all. Did she lie to him? Did she have them secretly hidden like she used to do at the studio and at her home with Vincente.

So, Gene made a decision: he would look for them in every possible place. He and Judy always respected each others privacy and space. He never went ransacking through her persona belongings. He had his own closet and never once stepped foot in hers unless she asked him to grab her something. She had a dresser in there as well, which she said was off limits. He didn’t ask questions, he respected that. It was called trust and now here he was.

Gene sighed and pushed himself off the door and walked in the room. He didn’t know how long he took, but he looked at every place he could think of, knowing how clever she was. He even looked in place that Vince had once told him she had hid medication but, fortunately he found notta. When Gene went to look at the last possible place, her dresser in the closet, he stopped himself. If he hadn’t found anything yet, he probably wouldn’t in there. I mean, she had told him it was off limits, so if he were to look anyplace it would there. She was too smart to put them there. Gene shook his head and walked away. No, he wouldn’t betray that trust, at least not without speaking to her first.

He felt relieved, but still trepidacious, and needed to distract himself. He picked up the phone and dialed next door.

“Hey, Betty, your dinner invite still good? Oh, great. I’ll be over in a minute, thanks..”

Judy leaned into a match that Lennie Hayton held out for her to light her cigarette. Lena Horne came by and gently touched Judy’s arm to get her attention.

“Look who’s here,” she nodded towards the entrance.

Judy looked and there the Butler was taking Artie Shaw’s hat and coat. Still on the landing, he pleasantly looked around the room, but then caught eyes with Judy who looked at him almost bashfully. He beamed into a big, provocative smile when a waiter interrupted him with a glass of champagne.

She looked away and cleared her throat as she took another drag.

“He’s coming over,” Lena said before she ushered her husband away with a mischievous eye.

She, like many others, had known that he was the first man Judy wanted to marry. She had admired him, respected not only his musical talent, but his kindness towards her. He made her feel like a star. He was also the first man she had fooled around with. And even though he had led her on, he never let it go all the way physically, but continued to pursue he emotionally until he eloped with her friend Lana Turner out of the blue. It was Judy’s first heartbreak.

When Judy looked back, Artie was strolling her way, smiling and biting his bottom lip.

“Hi,” he simply said.

“Hi,” she said back friendly, but when he came in to give her a kiss she giggled and turned away so it landed on her cheek, “Artie.”

“Guess what?”

“What?”

“I have tickets for your show at the Palace.”

“Oh, that’s great. Tickets,” she emphasized, “Does that mean there’s a new lady friend that I’ll be meeting that night?”

It was Artie’s turn to blush, “Uh, no, nope, just my mother. She really liked you, when you were around a lot back in the day.”

“Well, I liked her, too. But we both know I wasn’t the reason why I stopped ‘coming around’,” Judy said with a hint of an icy undertone.

Artie heard it but he chose to ignore it, “So, are you here alone?”

“With Kay Thompson.”

“No date tonight,” he said surprised.

“Gene is in Los Angeles. He had to get back to work.”

“Man, if I were him, I wouldn’t have left. Things are too exciting for you right now, aren’t they?”

“They are, but but he’ll be back for the opening.”

“Oh, well, that’s good. Say, if you ever want to catch up, let me take you out to lunch or dinner sometime. We can even do something casual like Lindys.”

“Oh, that’s very sweet, but I am busy, and I don’t think my fiance would appreciate me going out with another man alone,” she said, adding a giggle to keep things light.

“Fiance,” he said amused and she showed him her left hand which he took to look at it. “Well, well, well, look at that. Congratulations, to you both.”

“Thank you.”

“Judy,” Bette said across the room waving.

“Will you excuse me?”

She went to walk but he stopped her, “If you ever change your mind, just let me know. Lindys, lunch, that’s all,” he repeated.

Judy nodded in acknowledgement before walking away.

The next afternoon, at Metro, Frank was walking towards the main office building when Gene stormed out of the front doors. He had an angry look on his face and didn’t even see Frank when he passed him.

“Gene? Hey, Gene!”

Gene stopped and turned around, completely preoccupied, “Oh, hey, bud.”

“Whoa, what’s going on?”

“I...” Gene sighed, “I’m sorry, pal, I can’t chat right now. I gotta take care of something.”

“Yeah, you g’head. Call me if you wanna get a drink tonight. Considering how pissed you look, I’m guessing you may need it.”

Gene nodded and went on his way.

Meanwhile, at the theater, Judy was on stage, in her rehearsal clothes. She went over to where her tea was sitting on the piano and took a sip.

“Give me a key note, darling,” she said to Hugh. “Here, honey,” Hugh said as he sat at the piano and played her the intro key for ‘Pretty Girl’.

“Ok.”

“Shall we?”

“Let’s do it,” she said coughing a few times to clear her throat.

Kay sat in one of the front row seats swinging her leg back and forth and tapped her pen against her note paper as Judy sang her hit from ‘Little Nelly Kelly’.

“Ms. Thompson,” the stage manager said with a low voice as to not disturb Judy.

“Yes?”

“Phone call for you. It’s Mr. Kelly.”

“Oh, tell Gene that Judy’s in the middle of rehearsal. I’ll have her call him during break.”

“No, ma’am. He said it’s urgent.”

The stage manager reached down at the orchestra pit where there was a phone sitting on the conductor stand, and with the long cord, he pulled it to the woman’s lap. She looked at him oddly as he walked away to get back to his business.

Kay picked up the phone, and covered her other ear with her finger, “Hey, Gene, what’s wrong? Huh, speak up, Judy’s in the middle of a song,” Kay listened, “Wait, what?”

On stage, singing, Judy glanced at her friend a few times, curious who the call was that couldn’t wait. When she saw Kay’s body language change and her expression turn to shock, she got a little worried, but she continued the song. Kay seemed to try to be rationalizing with whomever was on the other end, as if she were trying to calm the other person.

“Gene, don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of it. Don’t beat yourself up. Yes, I will,” Kay listened then got more stern raising her voice which Judy heard, “I said don’t worry about it, God dammit.” When Kay hung up the phone, she placed her fist over her mouth thinking, before she looked up at Judy with a peculiar expression.

Judy’s words faltered, her voice trailing off, as she looked down at Kay and she couldn’t continue.

“Stop, stop. Hugh, darling, I’m sorry. Give me a second,” Judy went to the edge of the stage, the orchestra pit separating the two ladies, and she squat down, “What’s happened?”

“Go, finish your song, then we’ll take break.”

Judy laughed incredibly as she answered, “I am not going to finish anything until you tell me who was on the phone.”

“It was Gene. He got some bad news.”

“Oh, my Goodness. Is Kerry ok or…”

“No, no, nothing like that. Now, don’t get yourself worked up. I want you to remember, there are other shows…”

“What do you mean other shows? What the hell does that mean?”

“Well, it seems Gene got pulled into Arthur’s office just now. The studio is retracting their approval of his time-off request for the 15th through the 18th.”

Behind Judy, her dancer boys all assembled onto the stage, lead by Chuck, but Judy remained where she was, tilting her head as if she hadn’t understood Kay correctly, “What do you mean?”

“Honey, he said he tried everything. He’s so upset right now, but they won’t back down. They said they already gave him time off for when he was just here, and they’re still approving his time off for when he comes here the first weekend in November, but not this upcoming one. He’s the director, and they need him there,” Judy remained emotionless and Kay gave it to her straight, “He won’t be here opening night.”

Judy blinked when suddenly Chuck’s voice called her from behind her, “Hey, Judy, here’s the boys. Gotta rehearse the intro.”

Without a word, Judy got up and walked over to them. Kay cautiously sat down, keeping an eye on Judy the entire time. As Chuck staged their mark, Judy tried to pay attention, she was wobbly on her feet as he placed her where to stand, behind the boys, her mind elsewhere.

“Okay, the mark is set. That’s do the song,” Chuck happily stated.

The music started, the boys did their intro, then when it was time for Judy to appear from behind the boys, to surprise the audience, Judy simply walked into the wings, but quite hastily.

“Here we go,” Kay said.

Chuck held his arms out, completely taken back by her exit, and he looked at Kay. She put her hand up, as if to tell him it was okay, before standing up and walking to meet Judy backstage.

Kay could already hear Judy’s voice on the phone as she walked closer to the dressing room. When she got inside, she shut the door behind her.

“What do you mean Gene’s not at the studio anymore? He was just in a meeting…oh, you did? No, that’s okay. Can you please patch me to the studio operator?” As Judy waited, she looked over at Kay with a determined look. “Hello, yes, can you please ring Arthur Freed’s office? This is Judy Garland. Thank you.”

“Arthur Freed’s office, may I help you,” the secretary asked, “Yes, Miss Garland. Just a moment please.”

She was about to get up when Arthur walked past her and she placed Judy’s call on hold, “Oh, Arthur, I have Judy Garland on the line. She said it’s urgent.”

Arthur sighed. As much as he loved Judy, he had a feeling why she was calling and he did not have the time or energy right now, “Tell her I’m leaving for the day and if she needs to leave a message, I will get back with her. Oh and tell her that I miss her.”

“No problem,” she said as she watched him walk away before she got back on the phone.

Judy snickered when she listened to the secretary, “I bet he does. Can you please ring Ida Koverman’s office for me? Thank you.” Judy waited and looked at Kay, “Arthur said for me to leave a message and that he misses me. I’m not leaving a fucking message.” Kay couldn’t help but smile as she sat down opposite Judy.

“Judy, dear, how are you?!”

“Hi, Ida. How are you,” Judy said genuinely but a little rushed.

“A little birdie told me all about your success oversees and now with your new show opening in New York. I’m so thrilled for you.”

“Thank you. It is quite wonderful. I’m sorry to be short, but I really need to speak to Mr. Mayer.”

“Oh, Judy, honey, you know how he…”

“Ida, it’s of great importance. I must speak to him, it’s urgent.”

“Alright, let me see where he is. Hold on,” she put Judy on hold and went straight to the Big Boss’ double doors knocking only once before entering.

“Louis, Judy is on the phone. She said it’s urgent. Shall I patch her through?”

“My Judy,” he asked a happily surprised.

“Yah.”

“Of course!” He waited for the call to come through and immediately picked it up, taking off his glasses, “Judy, dear, what do I owe this pleasure?” He listened, “Judy slow down. Yeah. Yes, I’m aware. No, he didn’t but I did talk to Arthur. I know and I’m sorry dear but business is business. Judy, calm down, you know if could I would but…” he sighed and hung his head, “…yes, I know. Again, I’m sorry, but my hands are tied. You know, we did just give him three days out of the schedule and he still has his days in November…” L.B. then got stern, “Judy, I’m sorry but there’s nothing I can do.”

Judy slammed the phone down and let out a frustrated yell.

“I take it, it didn’t go well,” Kay said lighting a cigarette.

“He said Gene didn’t even come to him to try to talk to him, can you believe that?”

“If L.B. doesn’t cave for you, he sure isn’t going to cave for Gene.”

Judy took Kay’s cigarette and took a drag. She then licked her lips and handed the cigarette back to her standing up.

“I’m going back to the apartment,” she said grabbing her coat and bag.

“Judy, rehearsal might be good for you, to keep your mind off things.”

“Going out is going to keep my mind off things. I’ll see you later,” she said and left without another word.

It was just after dinner time when Judy walked back into her apartment, in a pretty day dress. She had called up Artie after she left the theater and accepted his invitation. As promised, he took her to Lindy’s for a late lunch and it was all pretty casual. She had a glass of wine to calm her nerves and actually enjoyed catching up with him. They flirted, which was inevitable but harmless, and he made no advances. It was all very friendly and refreshing. But when she was alone, walking back to the apartment, her heart grew heavy again. He promised her he’d be there…no matter what. Now, he wouldn’t be. She held in her tears as long as she could.

Judy covered her face in her white, gloved hands and finally let it out, crying as her back slid down the door. She stayed like that for a few minutes until the phone rang. Judy scrambled up to answer it, hoping it was Gene.

“Hello,” Judy answered sniffing.

“Hi, it’s me.”

“Oh, hi.”

“I’m just calling to see how you’re doing. Baby, are you crying?”

“Oh, yeah, you know me,” Judy said trying to play it off.

“A good cry will make you feel better. Have you spoken to Gene?”

“No. I just got back to the apartment.”

“Are you going to call him?”

“He should call me.”

“I agree, but listen, his balls are probably jumping back inside at the thought of talking to you right now. When you two do speak, just be rational.”

“Darling, you do realize you just used the word ‘rational’ in the same sentence pertaining to Judy Garland and Gene Kelly.”

“I’m aware,” Kay laughed, “Listen, take a bubble bath, have some tea and relax. I’ll see you tomorrow. If you need anything, call me. I’m only a floor away.”

“Thank you. See you later.”

Judy hung up and sighed. She looked around the quiet, empty apartment and she felt tears springing up again. Judy immediately went over to her rehearsal bag and took out a bottle of her medication. After taking one, she retreated to the bedroom.

Frank’s car pulled up in the Kelly’s driveway and Gene got out, unsteady.

“Day drinkin’, let’s do it again, next time,” Frank joked.

“Yeah, yeah,” Gene said annoyed and shut the door.

Frank didn’t back out until he saw Gene get inside the front door.

Inside, on the foyer table,. was the mail that he didn’t open that morning and a little blurry eyed, he went through it. Just ‘cause he was drunk didn’t’ mean his bills and business could be placed on hold. A certain piece of mail caught his attention. It was addressed to their address but no name for who it was for, but he did recognize the return label. It was that damn MD Office in Malibu.

Gene tore it open and it was a bill for Judy’s medication. He immediately went to tear it up in anger, but doing that also wouldn’t erase the bill nor her business with them, and he let out a frustrated yell. Judy stood by the large windows in her bedroom gazing at the city lights as she smoked a cigarette, clad in a white bathrobe, her hair still damp from her bath.

After glancing at the time, she exhaled the smoke frustrated and murmured, “Piece of shit.”

Judy walked over to the side of the bed and stomped her cigarette out in the ashtray before grabbing the phone.

Gene was downstairs in his ‘man cave’ practicing his aim at pool, in complete silence, a beer on the edge of the table, when the phone rang. He ignored it, all 7 rings as if he didn’t even hear them, and then there was silence again. Only the ticking of the clock and a dog barking outside was heard. A few seconds later, it started ringing again.

He walked over to the phone hastily and picked it up, his voice irritated, “Fuck Off.” He hung up and walked back to the table taking a swig of beer.

It was a little more than a few seconds, but the phone started ringing once more. This time, Gene threw his pool stick down and answered the phone again, his voice raised, “I said…fuck…off.”

“Gene,” Judy said insulted.

“Oh,” he said, softening, but not sobering up, “It’s you.”

“That’s the way you’re addressing me now? ‘It’s you?’”

She heard him let out a big sigh, as he ran his hand through his hair, leaning his back against the wall. But, he didn’t talk.

She did.

Judy spoke very articulately, “You-son-of-a-bitchhh.”

There was no need for explanation. He knew why she was calling.

“Alight, let’s have it. Give it to me, baby,” he nearly hissed, almost ignorantly.

It was the same tone he used in the bar when egging on the drunken men that talked shit. There was no heartfelt apology from him. He was looking for a fight so she’d give him one.

“You’re a god damn piece of shit…a disloyal mother fucker…a God damn backstabber...”

When Gene heard silence he spoke up, “Are ya done?”

“I haven’t even started, baby.”

For a long moment, they were both silent, as if they were battling their own emotions when Gene finally spoke up with a sincere voice, “Judy…”

“No,” she said her voice cracking as she tried to hold in the tears, “You don’t get to do that.”

“Baby, I have been in misery the whole fucking day over this. Please don’t make me feel worse than I already do.”

“You promised,” she said with a whimper, “Remember? You promised me you’d be there no matter what. You know what it means to me.”

“God dammit, I know. I KNOW,” he shouted, “You think I want this? I fought with Arthur on it, but he wouldn’t back down. I tried all I could.”

“No you didn’t,” she snapped.

“The hell I didn’t.”

“You didn’t! I called up L.B. myself this afternoon and he said you never spoke to him.”

“Because I knew it was a dead end. If Arthur said no, there was no way in hell that L.B. would say yes. Am I right?”

Judy paused but spoke very cattily, “Right.”

“He may have bowed down to you back in the day, but he’s not gonna cave for me, even if my girlfriend is Judy Garland.”

“You’re what,” she said angry with disbelief.

Gene immediately realized what he said, “My fiance. I’m sorry, baby doll. I’m just upset.”

“You’re drunk,” Judy said disgusted.

“Oh, congratulations,” he said clapping loud enough so she could hear it.

“You’re pathetic.”

“No, you’re pathetic,” he corrected.

“I’m pathetic,” she screeched.

“You’re pathetic for always being so god damn selfish! Don’t you realize that this isn’t just any film? I’m the fucking director. I’m helping put it together. You know this project is like my baby. I’m sorry things didn’t work out the way we planned, but shit happens. I’ll still be there for the show, just not on opening night.”

“I NEED YOU ON OPENING NIGHT,” she cried, yelling so prodigiously, the walls almost rattled, “After I found out, I walked out of rehearsal and came home and balled my eyes out!” Again, there was a moment of silence and she went on, her voice more calm, “You broke a promise, Gene, yet you call me pathetic…”

Gene’s voice came out deep and slow, “You really have the audacity right now, to berate me for breaking a promise, after you broke one as well?”

Oh, he was pissed, Judy had only heard that voice a few times and it gave her chills…bad ones. But she was still confused.

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Dr. Clark in Malibu.”

Judy took a surprised intake of breath followed by a sorry cry, “Gene.”

“How could you,” he said his voice now cracking, “How could you go behind my back and do that? After all that we been through together in that department, you didn’t tell me.”

He heard Judy start crying and it broke his heart that he started weeping, “You told me you wouldn’t do those again. You promised me, Judy,” Judy’s cry hearing him cry was so heartbreaking, but he continued, “You promised me when we moved in you would talk to me about it, that we’d work though it together.”

“I didn’t want to disappoint you,” she managed to get out.

“How long has this been going on,” he said, his crying stopped now turned back to anger, “Did you even stop or was that a lie, too?”

“Of course I stopped.”

“When did it start again? Palladium?”

“No.”

When she didn’t continue, he got impatient, “You owe me an explanation.”

Judy let out a sound, her crying now subsided, “I don’t owe you a god damn thing but a headache.”

“Oh, dealing with you, believe me I’ve learned to live with it.”

“Oh, go to hell!”

“But, honey, I love you so it’s worth it,” he tried to smooth over, “Please, tell me.”

“How did you even find out?”

“What the hell does it matter how I found out? Doesn’t change the situation.”

He almost blurt out that he searched through her rehearsal bag but he didn’t want to get him nor Kay in more hot water. He had a bill from the office, that was as much reality check as he needed.

“But if you must know, a bill came in the mail. It wasn’t addressed to either one of us so I opened it and hello, what’s this…a god damn bill for medication my future wife promised me she’d NEVER FUCKING TAKE AGAIN!”

Judy nearly jumped out of her skin at his rage and her voice came out with a vulnerable undertone answering his question, “Just before we came to New York.”

“But why, Judy,” he asked trying to be understanding, “Is it because of work?”

“Of course it’s because of work.”

“But I don’t understand. You didn’t need any of that on the Europe tour.”

“They were different over there.”

“What do you mean?”

“People over there didn’t care how I looked or if I fell down or just stood there like a god damn mime. They loved me for me. But over here…Gene they’re so mean. I’ve read the papers. After we got back to the States, I didn’t get any offers. They called me a has-been, a fade-out. Europe called the tour ‘A Smash’ but here they called it, ‘A Good Try, But No Good.’ They’ve eased up on that now, but they’re still calling me matronly, and homey, and pretty but fat.”

“Who gives a fuck what they say,” he said disgusted.

“I DO,” she yelled but then talked more calmly, “I do. I’m working extra hard and extra long hours rehearsing. I’m going to be doing 2 shows a day. I need the energy, then the sedative to relax, plus I need to slim down. I want this show to be bloody perfect and I want to show them I’m better than I’ve ever been.”

“And it will be.”

“Well, probably not anymore, thanks to you.”

“Like I fucking planned this, Judy. Jesus Christ, when are you going to get it though your thick skull…I tried, they didn’t budge, but it is still my production.”

“May be, but as far as I see it, you’re choosing that forsaken studio over me.”

“I’m not just a guy you live with that’s there for moral support at your beck and call, I’m Gene Kelly. I also have my own career, my own life.”

“And I’m Judy Garland. I’ve got my own life, too. I got along just fine before you came into the picture,” she retorted.

“Ya, then you don’t need me.”

“You know what, you’re absolutely right.”

“I know I’m right,” he agreed trying to explain to her she didn’t need him to be there that opening night.

“If you’re so keen to your own career, your own life, and thinking I don’t need you…well maybe you don’t need me around anymore at all.”

Gene didn’t know why he did it, but he found himself hanging up the phone. He would later realize it was the stupidest thing he could have done.

The sound of garbage trucks outside woke Gene with a start. He groaned when he sat up, holding his head, and realized he was on the living room couch upstairs. Fuck, he didn’t even remember how he got there.

Gene looked at his watch and sighed, relieved. It was still early. He still had enough time to get to work. Thank God it was a later call. Gene bent forwards, leaning his elbow on his knees, and ran his hands over his face. He was still for a moment before his head shot up as last nights conversation rolled through his brain.

“Did she break up…” Gene got up and walked over to the phone in almost panic, and mumbled to himself, “I think she broke up with me last night.” As the phone rang, Gene figured in his head that it was 10:30 in New York.

“Hello?”

“Oh, Dottie, hi, it’s Gene.”

“Oh, hey sweetie. How are you doing,” she said cheerfully.

“I’m a little worse for wear.” “You sound tired. Are you ok?”

“I had a little too much to drink last night. Say, is Judy there?”

“No, we’re meeting some people for brunch. I just came back in the apartment to grab something for her, but I’ll tell her you called.”

“Okay. Uh, Dottie…”

“Yeah?”

“Did Judy say anything to you this morning?”

“About what?”

“About me…about us.”

He heard her curious tone, “Nooo, but, should she have?”

“I’m not sure,” is all he could manage.

Gene felt a little relieved hearing that Judy didn’t rant to her friend about her problems. That’s all she ever did with Dottie in the studio trailer especially when she was not happy in her marriage or relationship. Maybe it would all blow over. He knew she was as much medicated last night as he was drunk.

“Kay did tell me that you can’t make it to the opening. I’m so sorry to hear that, but I want you to know that Judy’s doesn’t seem too upset by it so don’t beat yourself up.”

Gene kneaded his eyebrows confused. That sure wasn’t Judy’s tone last night, “What did she say to you about it?”

“Not much really. It was just in passing, but she said that you would be a later show. That was it.”

“Well, she’s right. I will be. Thank you, Dottie. I’ll call later, love.”

“Bye-Bye.”

Gene walked upstairs to take a shower feeling like a weight was lifted off his shoulders. Later that afternoon, Gene was out on his back patio playing cards with Lauren as they ate some finger sandwiches that the housekeeper had prepared, all the while he told her everything that had happened.

“Jesus,” Lauren said.

“I know.”

“But it sounds like she just needed a good nights sleep. Give her a little more time. If she hasn’t spoken about it to her friend Dottie, then, like you said, everything is probably ok. When you guys speak, do it when you’re both sober and calm.”

“Yeah,” he said and rubbed his temple.

“That hangover still goin’ huh?”

“Yeah. If they would’ve called me this morning and told me I only needed to be at the studio for 3 hours, I would have just called in sick.”

“I told you, one of my famous Bloody Marys will knock that hangover right out of ya.”

“No,” Gene winced, “No alcohol.”

“Mr. Kelly.”

They turned as the housekeeper walked out with a courier package, “This just came for you.”

“Thank you,” he said and took the package.

“What are you expecting from a courier?”

“Nothing,” he said inquisitively as he looked at the mailing address, “It’s from New York, it’s from Judy.”

“She loves writing notes. Watch it be a telegram that she had couriered apologizing and giving her undying devotion to you.”

As he worked on opening the package, Gene smiled up a Lauren, whom looked like a tough cookie on the outside but inside, she was one big ol’ marshmallow. He got the large, padded envelope open and looked inside. When he didn’t reach in or say anything for a moment, Lauren became suspicious.

“Gene? What is it?”

He waited another moment before he pulled out Judy’s engagement ring. Showing Lauren, he spoke softly, “I think she just called off our god damn wedding.”

“Are you crazy,” Kay nearly shouted as she trailed behind Judy as they walked into the theater from the auditorium doors, “You can’t call off an engagement from one god damn phone call. You don’t even talk rationally with him about what happened, instead you overnight him your fucking ring? Are ya nuts?”

Judy ignored her friend and kept a brave, professional face as the approached the stage, but Kay went on, “You two have been through so much the past 10 years. You’ll get though this, too, no matter how hard. Do you realize what he’s probably feeling right now?”

“The same thing I’m feeling…betrayed. He doesn’t care about me and this show.”

“Will you listen to yourself? How can you say that?”

“Because it’s true.”

Kay knew Judy, on medication, was more irrational and vulnerable and sometimes didn’t know what she was saying.

“When he confronted you about your medication, did he tell you how he found out?”

“A bill that came in the mail.”

Kay nodded, “He knew when he was here.”

“What?”

“I told him to look in your rehearsal bag because I thought I saw them and I wanted to make sure.”

Before Judy could respond with anger, Kay went on, “He didn’t confront you here because he didn’t want to do anything that would jeopardize this show. So don’t tell me he doesn’t care because he does.”

Judy’s face dropped a little and Kay took her hands, “Did you tell Gene what you told me earlier, about how you’re going to stop the meds the moment the run is over?”

“He didn’t ask so it’s none of his concern.”

“Look, from here on out, it’s all between you two, but I needed you to know that. I also need you to know, no matter how mad you are at me for telling him that, I’m not going anywhere. I’m going to be right here.”

Judy nodded but took her hands out from Kays, “If Gene won’t be here on opening night, I need to focus on the show, not him. You have no idea how fucking scared I am doing this. It is a little about being selfish because he’s the one person that always gets me through. He got me through my most horrible times like on Pirate and Summer Stock and the Palladium. He promised me ‘no matter what’. That’s a serious promise.”

“Yes, it is,” Kay had to agree.

Without another word, Judy turned to get back to rehearsal.

“Honey, it’s a madhouse, you should see it. Everyone is here. It’s like VJ day out there with celebrities tossed in,” Kay said excited as she entered Judy’s dressing room.

Judy was sitting at her vanity in her silk robe, her hair and make up done, when an elegantly-dressed Kay burst in and she couldn’t help but laugh from the excitement and nerves.

“And they’re all going to see me fall on my ass like at the Palladium!”

“I wish I could have seen that.”

“You would have if you weren’t doing your own show that very night.”

“They all love you, just like the fans in Europe, maybe more so,” Kay said and pointed to the opposite wall where tons and tons of telegrams, were pinned up that Judy had received, not to mention all the vases of roses along the floor.

Judy smiled genuinely and nodded, “I’m going to really kick some butt tonight aren’t I?”

“You’re gonna knock em’ dead. And I’m going to be there in the wings. I’m going to see where Dottie is at. I’ll be back.”

When Kay shut the door, Judy turned back around facing the mirror, her smile fading.

“I’ll be right there in the wings. I promise. Will bells on.”

That’s what Gene had said to her. Judy looked down and fiddled with her makeup brush. They hadn’t spoken one word since that fight. That was almost 2 weeks ago. He didn’t call, but she also didn’t call. She had spoken to Roger though who told her that Gene was working overtime at the studio and seemed in good spirits. Judy had worked her ass off for this show, and she made herself be in good spirits as well. It had been time for them to focus on themselves and their projects than just each other.

Judy looked up at the only telegram that she had posted to her mirror, above Liza’s picture. It was from Gene that came yesterday, the day that he was supposed to return back to New York. It said only 6 words but ones she needed to hear the most: I love you. You’ll be great.

Now with a rational mind, and his absence, Judy realized it really wasn’t Gene’s fault, but she wasn’t lying, or being dramatic, when she knew she needed him there. But, the show must go on.

As Judy got up to get dressed, suddenly she heard an echo of commotion that seemed to come from down the hall. She was smoothing out her dress that was still on the hanger when the door opened.

“Kay, I heard everyone go bonkers. Who just came in? Let me guess, Sophie Tucker?” When there was silence, Judy turned around and she immediately took a step back, losing her balance, falling back into a chair completely in shock.

“Guess again,” Gene said smiling, looking handsome in his tux.

Judy let out a whimper as she jumped up and right into Gene’s arms. He held her tight, picking her up so her legs around his waist, and they both shook as she cried against his shoulder her fingers digging into him. Through her tears, she managed to see Kay standing on the other side smiling before she shut the door for them to have privacy.

Gene was nervous as hell when he got to the theater, not knowing for sure of how her reaction would be, as she had give him back her ring. So, to be holding her like this, as she cried, felt like an immediate rush of relief and happiness. They hadn’t even talked yet, but he felt like in that moment he got his girl back. A sob escaped his lips that he tried so desperately to hold in. Hearing this, Judy stood back on her feet and took his face in her hands, giving him a kiss as she continued to cry.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door startling the both a bit.

“Yes,” Judy answered.

“10 minutes to stage, Miss Garland,” they heard an assistant say.

“Thank you.”

Judy took Gene’s hands in hers and they both seemed to let out a breath.

“You look good,” Gene said sincerely.

“Yeah,” she giggled, “With runny mascara.”

“You look good without mascara,” he said taking a seat so she could freshen up her face.

“Gene,” she simply said, but it had a lot of meaning behind it.

“Later.”

“Ok,” she responded with a little smile.

After redoing some makeup, Gene helped her with her dress, and then she took his hand and they walked to the wings of the stage.

They both stood there as Judy’s ‘boy friends’ danced and sang their introduction.

“I’ll be right here,” he whispered in her ear, his arms wrapped around her waist. We intro-duce, the lollapalooza…JUDY!

Gene gave Judy a slap on the bum before she walked out on stage. The audience went mad. She couldn’t even go right into her first song ‘Call the Press’ because the cheers and claps wouldn’t stop. It delighted her so, she couldn’t stop giggling. Gene laughed when Judy had to calm them down by putting her finger up to her lips to shush.

Halfway through the program, as Judy and Chuck did the ‘Couple of Swells’ number, Kay walked up behind Gene, as he was still in the wings, and she wrapped her arms around his waist from behind.

“Was she this happy and funny in rehearsals,” he asked very amused by her banter with the audience. Of course some of it was staged, but a lot she had just chatted and joked and was wickedly funny. She was being herself. It was his Judy.

“She put on a happy face and was funny in rehearsals, yes, but she is an actress. This…this is real. And I think we both know why she’s so happy.”

When the number finished, with roaring applause, the lights in the entire house dimmed, leaving Judy in a bright spotlight. Out of breath, still in her Tramp costume, she sat down on the edge of the stage and started ‘Over the Rainbow’.

Singing that song that night, something magical happened. Gene had heard her sing it many, many times, but this time it was quite haunting, with an eerie hush from the audience. She sang it deeper from her soul than he ever heard her. She was trembling, but strong. It was if her entire life; every happy and sad emotion she ever felt, and every good and bad time she ever experienced, came through that song just then. And the audience knew it. Judy had started tearing up during the middle of it and it touched everyone’s hearts.

He had peeked at the audience. Only the first two rows near the orchestra were visible from the spotlight, but they were all staring up at her like they were children. Some were crying and others had their hand over their mouths in awe. Gene was as captivated as they were. Even Hugh Martin at piano couldn’t take his eyes off her.

In the middle of the song, Judy had cut a long note short, when she had glanced over at Gene and she let out some high-pitched sobs, fully crying now. He urged her on and she continued, still weeping, but she managed to get through the rest of the song with full force. When the song ended, she got up and took her bows, for the short intermission, before heading straight into Gene’s arms.

After the triumph of Judy’s opening night, and after a lot of interviews and friends congratulating her in her dressing room backstage, Gene escorted her to the Stork Club where they met up with all of their friends including the Bogarts and Sinatra. The two fell right back into their routine like nothing had changed as they posed together for photographs and greeted people together, as a couple. They even shared a few dances, but there was still a heaviness. Both knew the sooner they left, the sooner they could talk.

It was 1 a.m. when the two got back to her apartment, quite an early time as spending time in a New York nightclub would usually go on until 4 in the morning.

Gene followed Judy into the bedroom, who immediately noticed his small suitcase on the bed.

“You came here first?”

“I needed some place to change into my tux,” he said with a playful voice, but it was the truth. When all she did was just give him an understanding nod, he went on carefully, “Can I stay?”

“I would be offended if you didn’t,” she said with her own playful tone, but also serious in the offer.

As he slipped off his shoes and took his suit off, he watched as she took off her heels and unclasped the stockings from her garters under her party dress.

After Gene dressed down to his undershirt, but still wearing his tux pants, he noticed her struggling with her back zipper.

“Need some help,” he asked walked over to her.

She nodded and he slowly zipped it down. As he did, she looked at him through the mirror, “When did you get to New York?”

“Just hours before you went on. I caught the last flight. There was only one seat left. I was very lucky, honey.”

“You would have charted your own plane if you were that adamant.”

“You’re right,” he said with a laugh, “I probably would have.”

As Judy hung up her dress, Gene admired her in her strapless, one-piece lace girdle. She didn’t wear them often, except for special occasions like tonight, but when she did, he thought she looked like a pin-up girl. He had told her that before, but all she did was laugh. She hated wearing them. He felt his libido stir, but he knew they were on the verge of talking.

“How are you feeling after tonight,” he asked sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Relieved and happy…but a little confused at how you were able to get here,” she said giving him a glance over her shoulder as she folded up her shawl.

“Well, I, ah, after you sent me the ring back…”

Judy didn’t dare look at him that time.

“...and after we went that long without speaking, I realized that anything to do with work wasn’t worth losing you, no matter who was being the most stubborn.”

Judy gasped and turned around to look at him, very worried, “What did you do?”

Gene knocked on Mr. Mayer’s office door and waited for him to respond before he stepped in.

“Kelly…shut the door and come here,” L.B. said when he saw him just standing there.

Gene did what he was told and walked over to the desk, but he didn’t sit down as he kept up a strong front.

“Sit down,” L.B. said impatient.

Gene complied but shook his head ‘no’ at the cigarette that L.B. offered.

“Now, I’ve just spoken to Arthur. What is this I hear that you’re demanding to be let go from ‘Singing in the Rain’? You’ve been wanting to direct this picture for a while. Have you gone insane?”

“With all due respect, Mr. Mayer, it’s not worth it.”

“Oh, nonsense, what do you mean. Not worth what?”

“If you talked to Mr. Freed then you know what I’m talking about.”

L.B. sighed, “Judy is a very complex girl but she’ll understand.”

“Not this time. And anything to do with work, even though it means a lot to me, is not worth losing the woman I love. I want to marry her and have a family with her someday. I can’t risk it over one film.”

“If she doesn’t understand why you can’t be there on one particular night, perhaps she isn’t the woman you should marry,” L.B. said annoyed.

Gene ignored his comment, “If you won’t let me have more time off, then I need to be let go from this picture so I can take it upon myself to be there.”

“I won’t hear of it,” L.B. shouted.

“Then I’m afraid I have to ask to be released from my contract and I will pay any damages in doing so,” Gene said. He hadn’t even thought of that before, but he somehow found himself saying it.

L.B. immediately stood up,“Nonsense! You’ve become one of our best box office draws! You’re a hell of a director and choreographer!”

Gene just looked down. When L.B. saw the look on Gene’s face, he slowly sat back down.

Leaning back, he clasped his hands on his tummy, “There’s only been one person at this entire studio, in my entire career to be honest, that I gave special privileges to. And not just in a business sense, but in the mental capacity as well.”

He turned to look at his large book shelf. Gene turned his head to look and there on a shelf was picture of L.B. with Judy as Dorothy.

“And even though she isn’t part of our studio anymore, you are,” he emphasized. “And she will always be family. I didn’t realize how serious this all was. I don’t want to lose you over your request to having an extra few days off.”

Gene sat up in his chair a little bit as he realized what was coming.

“I’ll grant you tomorrow off through the weekend, but you better be back here on Monday, sharp.”

“Oh, Mr. Mayer, thank you,” he said standing up to shake his hand in both of his.

“I’ll get Stanley to take over for a few days,” L.B. said as if it weren’t a big deal with what just happened.

“Thank you, again. You have no idea what this means to me…to us.”

“Yeah,” he said, “Now get outta here before I change my mind,” L.B. said with a half smile.

Judy sat next to Gene, placing her hands on his leg almost in horror, “Do you realize what you almost did?”

“Kind of an idiot move, huh?”

“Yes,” she laughed, “But you’re my idiot,” she hugged him happily, “Darling, you’re so stupid, but I love you. I cannot believe you did that for me.”

“And I’d do it again.”

“Don’t you dare. You’re too good to stop now.”

“There’s other studios, Judy, but there’s only one you.”

Judy made a sad face before pushing away from him, “You’re gonna make me cry again. Hell, I even cried on stage!”

“They loved it. You should try to cry every time you sing that song.” “I just might. It’s not hard to do, so it wouldn’t be an act.”

“You said something earlier.”

“What?”

“That you love me.” Judy nodded and looked down but he lifted her chin, “Why don’t you look at me and say that.”

A little embarrassed, Judy stood up, “Look, just because I sent you my ring out of anger and heartbreak doesn’t mean I actually stopped loving you.”

“That was also a chancy move to make yourself there, dear.”

“And you didn’t call.”

“You didn’t either.”

They both broke out in guilty smiles.

“I…didn’t really mean it, darling,” Judy said sitting back down next to him in desperation.

“Well, then good thing I brought this,” he said and reached into his pocket.

Judy let out a laugh seeing her engagement ring. He took her hand about to slip it back on but she pulled away.

“Wait. I have something I need to tell you.”

Gene’s eyes widened, “You’re pregnant?”

“Oh gosh, no, I mean not right now, I don’t think,” she said and they both chuckled. “No, I wanted to tell you, I am truly sorry for not telling you about the medication. But I wasn’t lying when I said I was scared.” By Gene’s look, she could tell he was still very hurt by it and she went on, “I haven’t been on anything for days now. I did a lot of thinking about us, about me in particular, and I knew I had to prove to myself that I could do the show without you and without the medication. Lucky for me, I did it only without the medication.”

Gene put his had on her jaw looking into her eyes, “They’re gone?”

“Somewhere in the Hudson river by now I presume.”

He chuckled and gave her a kiss before looking back down at her hand, “I love you, Frances Gumm,” he said slipping the ring back on her finger.

“I love you, Eugene Kelly,” she said grabbing him into a passionate kiss.

Kay slapped the morning newspaper with her hand, “The Times is calling the show a smash hit. Just like I said, they’re saying the streets of Manhattan were the craziest and happiest they’ve been since VJ Day.”

Roger held his own newspaper, “The Daily is saying October 16th should be called ‘Judy Garland Day’ in New York.”

“Oh, I’m so happy for her,” Kay said, “She was so trepidatious.”

“We all knew it would be a hit. At least the press has changed their tone about her since she returned from Europe.”

“No kidding.”

“I wonder if she’s seen the papers yet.”

“She’s probably still sleeping.”

“Do you think Gene’s up there with her now?”

“Boy, I hope so. They left together and I know they needed to talk.”

“Hopefully they worked everything out.”

Judy whimpered as fantastic sensations once again spread throughout her body. She was still so sleepy to be able to give it her all like she had the night before. Boy, the sex was always amazing, but last night was extra wonderful as they both tried to show their apologizes. She was sure it had become a competition. But now he was telling her to just enjoy it. Oh, she was. The feeling of him sliding in and out of her slowly as his pubic bone rubbed back and forth against her, had her nipples peaked and her toes curled.

Gene grabbed her hand in his, holding it above her head, groaning as his finger tip played with her ring. She felt so fucking good, still slick from their endless night of lovemaking, and she was getting tighter and tighter with each stroke.

He maneuvered himself, lifting from her neck, so he could be face-to-face, and she gasped placing her hand on his lower back encouraging him.

“Right there,” she whispered against his lips.

He smiled and continued with the same pace, but pushed a little harder with each thrust teasing her. Each thrust had her moaning louder and louder until she lost her voice and caught herself against him. Gene continued through her orgasm, reveling in the feeling of her tight muscles milking him, letting out his own moans until he exploded into her as he release one long, desperate groan.

As Gene lay on his back, Judy half laid on top of him and reached up to kiss his cheek, “You know how you came up with the idea of my show after watching our first picture again?”

“Yeah,” he said still out of breath.

“Well, I came up with one of my own.”

“What?”

“Remember how Harry and Jo promised to get married after they played the palace?”

Gene smiled wide, “I thought that was the plan.”

“Well, I already played my first show. And I don’t have a matinee today.” Gene’s head lifted looking at her surprised and she went on with an excited voice, “Let’s get married.”

“Today?”

“Today.”

Gene rest his head back down and laughed, not from the silly idea, but excitement. He knew with all the friends they had in town, they could get a marriage license quickly. But he was sure she had wanted a wedding.

“We can have Kay and Roger come and we can invite the Bogarts and Frank as they’re still here. We’ll just give a big, huge party back in LA once the show is done. What do you say?”

Gene smiled and ran his thumb up and down her bare arm, “I say that you’ll be doing your 2nd show at the Palace a married woman.”

Judy squealed happily and jumped on top of him.

*If you haven’t listened to ‘Judy at the Palace’ album, I would suggest doing so to give you an idea of that night :) You can find the complete concert here under Feb 24, 1952 which was her closing 

night. http://www.thejudyroom.com/media/judy-sings-in-concert/

[meatmarionette]

5, 6, 12, 17, 19, 21, 37, 44, 49, 61, 62 any or all! for whoever you’d like! 💕

hi thank u so much king.

5. do they follow a higher power? what are their thoughts on divinity?

this first one got really long lmfao. the others are a little shorter bear with me.

skit is funny because for all her "i'm a revolutionary" shtick she has pretty orthodox and also vaguely chauvinistic views on religion. she still believes that the Boar, Sovereign is the last living god which is funny because skit has now very much been to the celestial plane. but in her head she's like, ok, well, those are divine beings, they might be gods but they're not really thee Gods, like, the originals, so. only the Boar, Sovereign is God. and we need to kill that thing btw.

Skit is both religious and very sacrilegious in the way that most people from Seapink are. she fears the Boar, Sovereign because she's afraid to die, which i guess is a kind of reverence? but she also fully buys into the whole "time of the gods is over" thing, which kind of grinds reverence under the boot. skit hates the idea of a divine higher power exerting influence on her life. she only wants sexy tyrannical women to do that.

as for amandine, yes she is a cleric yes she is the only "living" devotee of the Boar, Sovereign, but amandine kind of isn’t religious in a traditional sense. she very much views 'religion' as like, comparable to duty to her mom...... (starts coughing). her connection to the divine is very deep and very important to her but also mundane. amandine is mildly to moderately afraid of her God, as she was of her real mother. her relationship with the Divine isn't... completely lateral, but maybe the word is familiar. amandine and her God are a lot closer than if she had been an acolyte of some deity in some church somewhere, mostly because of their closeness and onlyness to one another

but! a crucial thing informing how amandine views God / divinity is the fact that the Boar is not a god that can just take a human form and chat; She’s a manifestation of the Natural, and in many ways, a wild animal. i don’t think She and amandine can ever fully communicate and understand each other. they're both at peace with that, but because of this, i think its unclear to what degree amandine's ideas about the Boar as a God are projections onto this huge unknowable ancient inhuman Being.

for ex, the Boar taught amandine to find people who were near death out there in the forest and do a little rite to commit their bodies back to the earth and their souls to the Boar. but i think it was amandine who started trying to heal the ones  who she felt could be saved. the Boar didn't stop her, which amandine took as a sign of approval, but it just as easily could have been indifference. to a god, especially one as old and weary as the Boar, what do a few years or decades matter? they're going to die eventually :)

i genuinely don't know if the Boar, Sovereign actually cares about merciful death. She might? amandine thinks She does. The Boar definitely isn’t the malevolent bogeyman that She’s painted as in Seapink culture, but i think the value judgement of mercy is in some ways very human. possibly amandine saw that the Boar, Sovereign did not relish in killing or kill gratuitously, but instead took those who were already dying and ended their suffering. and amandine saw in that mercy instead of pragmatism, because that was what she wanted to see. so it’s anyone's guess what part of amandine’s religion is just amandine and what is the Boar, where that line is, if there is one

all that matters is that amandine trusts her God, loves Her and wants to please Her, and feels, maybe, that the Boar, Sovereign, in Her way, cares about amandine. but also... there's this other shoe that’s gonna drop one day.... the matter of coming back to life the Way She Did. meeting altair has planted a ghost of a thought in amandine’s head that she cannot consciously think about yet. the matter of why altair came back 'right' and amandine came back 'wrong'. the matter of why did the Boar did not tell amandine that she was dead. so that’s gonna be fun

6. which party member do they relate to the most?

for skit it was gaerokas, but honorable mention to sena because she and skit came from a sort of similar place and had compatible politics, and sena reminded her of her sister. other honorable mention to nethal for being skit’s intolerable mirror <3

for amandine it's definitely altair. undead bffs. honorable mention to ahe (amandine ahe 🤝quest for closure, devotion to a villainized god), and, interestingly also garo. garo amandine 🤝being lost in the woods for a long time, being the ghost in ghost stories told about them (which amandine doesn’t know about so i guess it doesn’t count) and having a fairly private but profound connection to God/nature. their clash in personalities and loyalties tends to get in the way of amandine seeing the overlap there. but that’s starting to change i think. also we will see how this plays out but i have a feeling that the more amandine remembers about her life before, the more she will relate to n’ethal actually.amandine nethal 🤝growing up privileged, Vhurask and Lady Iris being Like That

12. have they ever been in love?

skit is obviously in love with myev, and i think she was maybe in love with daya too? possibly? but it was complicated. amandine has not. yet.

17. what do they dream about, when their dreams are their own?

amandine doesn’t really dream anymore. she stopped sleeping mostly because of her dreams. amandine used to dream about dying, even if she didn’t realize that that was what it was for a long time. it was all distorted and hazy and amandine is missing huge chunks of memory so her mind free-form fictionalized to fill in what wasn’t there. she couldn’t make sense of it, only relive the sensations :) which were unpleasant :)

skit has two main genres of recurring dreams. one is redacted, and she doesn’t really dream about it that much anymore. in the other, there are two of her and the other skit is psychologically tormenting her. OR she’s tormenting the other skit. it isn’t clear

19. what haunts them? what doesn’t?

skit is obviously haunted by redacted, but she’s also haunted by what happened to vega, but also what she saw starting to happen to sena, who had been so lighthearted and trusting at the beginning :( she’s also haunted by when her sister was conscripted, and the fact that her dad almost died in the war. i don't think failing to prevent the apocalypse really haunts skit that much. she's like. well we ALMOST stopped them.... and WE didn't open those portals. so. but she is haunted by what happened to senele (i think that was its name? ahe's town that burned). but she’s not haunted by leaving Val in the celestial plane 😔

amandine is haunted by the flickers of memory from before her death and the flickers of memory or the dream distortions, whichever they are, of her death. amandine is haunted by her reflection. amandine is occasionally haunted by gaerokas. amandine is, now, also haunted by her mother's face and the memory of how she felt in the company of her mother. she isn’t haunted by the lives she's taken or all the bones and bodily fluids and entrails she's seen. i think the only body that haunts her is her own

21. do they follow their head, their heart, or their body?

skit: head and heart

amandine: body and heart

37. what is their favorite thing to hold?

for skit its uhh myev. for amandine, i feel like she's someone who reaches out for people a lot and likes to take her friend’s shoulders or rest a hand on their back or grab their hands (when they are ok with it). it's kind of a grounding thing and helps her feel less lonely. she is also comforted by holding fauchet, who is soft even if he unnerves her

44. what do they need to learn?

god where do i START.

i think the main thing skit needs to learn is how to look at herself -- who she really is without the smoke and the mirrors and the masks -- with self-compassion and honesty. skit also desperately needs to learn to communicate and be vulnerable with other people, to ask for help when she is afraid and overwhelmed. i think beginning to repair her toxic relationship with herself and letting people see her will massively help her feel more secure in her relationships, treat others with more kindness, and maybe, one day, face her problems instead of running from them. this is my sincere wish for her. skit is so so terrible but she isn’t irredeemable and i very much want to see her grow ;;

amandine needs to learn uhhh that puppy mills are bad. she also needs to learn how to let people in and ask for help. she’s not as bad as skit, but i do think amandine is scared of seeming weak or useless, and she also struggles to verbalize her thoughts so would sometimes rather not try. also, we haven’t seen this play out much yet because it’s mostly internal, but she does have a problem with internalizing blame for things that aren’t her fault, but also blaming others for things that objectively are her fault. maybe most importantly, amandine needs to learn that her life before was not idyllic and she can’t ever go back. i do think unconsciously lurking in her head all this time has been this feeling like 'oh if i learn who i Am and what happened to me i'll be able to reclaim what i lost and come Back" but... uh.... rip.

they both need to learn how to face their pasts and heal, to build a life that’s no longer chained to What Happened to them

49. what makes them smile?

their friends and loved ones! fucking with people and dancing also makes skit smile. what makes amandine smile is giving friends little trinkets and getting pretty things, going to festivals, being victorious, and Getting a Good Grade in Being a Sort of Dead Sort of Alive Girl

61. what kind of flower would they choose to pick from a meadow?

skit would choose uhhh tacca chantrieri. i’m interpreting the word ‘meadow’ expansively. amandine would of course choose an iris!

62. outside of otherworldly forces, what do they believe in?

skit believes in communism. and Love. kind of. amandine believes in growth from decay, that kind of thing. and friendship :)