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taran-wanderer · 3 years ago

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[spams n sunflowers into your ask box]

my friend you’ve no idea what you’ve wrought :3c

so I have a lot of OCs, and most of them live in a fictional town in Indiana named Silver Lake (in the universe that I’ve given the same name) In this universe one can be born with some sort of mutation, and mutations usually can be categorized into three categories: weird body thing, weird power thing, and innate magical ability Mutants make up roughly 40-50% of the population globally, and mutations aren’t hereditary so it’s ultimately just random whether any given person will be a mutant (two human parents can have a mutant child, and conversely two mutant parents can have a human child) As for OCs that live in this universe, let’s start with my self insert! she has two heads. there’s still only one of her, which means that usually she talks in unison with herself which can be A Little Bit Unsettling if you’re not used to it (as a fair few mutations tend to be). this is, if it wasn’t obvious, an example of Weird Body Thing An example of Weird Power Thing would be my older/younger sibling J, who has superhuman healing abilities: they heal from injuries faster than any given human, but also they can regenerate missing body parts (up to and excluding the brain). I say older/younger sibling because they’re a year or so older than me but they were adopted after me, so I consider them my younger sibling even though they are per se older Oops Speaking of adoption! the main story here follows Becky and Victoria Newton, who run a lil cafe type place and is a lawyer/case worker/someone in the legal system, respectively. I, don’t actually know if victoria took becky’s last name when they got married but i can’t think of a better one atm so that is how it is for now! Becky is a super butch mutant with six arms and she is very good at using her six arms to make milkshakes and hug her children, and Victoria has Innate Magical Ability of hieromancy (law magic) which she uses to her advantage at her workplace. everything all started when Victoria was assigned the case of this like six year old mutant girl whose parents thought she was freaky and didn’t want her, and Victoria went home and was like “beck we can’t just leave her there we have to take care of her!” and they ended up adopting her and then after that at least like....seven more kids? at various points. OH no eight I forgot about leigh but only because she shows up like, during the story? ANyway that first girl is paisley and she is now in her 30s just doin paisley things. she has a mutation of she can take herself apart at the joints and also just kinda rearrange herself? she has a nervous habit of switching around the index and middle fingers of one hand and she’s reached a point where she has no idea if they’re in the correct places or not which is fun man I could talk about the newtons for 80 years but let’s move on to some other characters elise! elise is good she has a siren voice mutation and to that end she Does Not Speak Like Ever, instead electing to use ASL so that she doesn’t make people do things. she and j are a couple and they’re very cute J works at the library with a few folks, Lucas has a mutation of straight up just moves like peter gabriel in the sledgehammer music video which is Fun And Funky, and sophie is actually! a human, she’s bewheelchaired and synesthetic and works in the children’s department which is great because she loves hearing about what kids are excited about and also getting kids excited about exciting things I think sophie and penelope might be a couple or at least headed there. penelope has a mutation of she just vanishes sometimes? like she’ll disappear into nothingness and then reappear at some point later. there’s a lot of caveats to this ofc that i’m not going to get into right now but. she’s doing her best. she and sophie live in a house with jack and mona who are Not a couple. mona has a mutation of like. two pupils and irises per eye, which makes sight Incredibly Inconvenient for her so i think she’s like. legally blind? i need to do a bit more research and thinkin about her. jack is excellent they have DID and they’re very autistic in the quiet sort of way so they’re gonna be fun to write about if i ever get around to actually writing the things i have in my head Oops ooo speaking of humans! jace and leaf are great they’re just. doin their best jace has no legs and plays the bass and is full of anxiety and doesn’t make friends for fear of losing friends, and leaf changes that about her because leaf befriends her over being mutually leg disabled (leaf has a pretty intense fatigue disorder) and makes jace realize that Hey Friends Are Good Actually, and then they end up as a couple with a lot of friends and it’s good :) hey let’s talk about vi and hazel! they’re part of Sign Language Gang along with elise (and by necessity J even though they don’t strictly Have to use it), on account of hazel does not have a mouth and vi is deaf! the former is a mutation (she has a spooky monster mouth on her stomach and that’s how she like. eats, and things) and the latter is just. she’s just deaf. her mutation is that she’s a plant! technically a carnivorous plant by definition--er no wait an omnivorous plant? somethin. she’s good they’re good. i think that’s everyone i can relate to one another and I think this is probably enough sunflowers but! thank you for the sunflowers i enjoy thinking about ocs :)

#ask tag #ocposting #good lord sorry for the #1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 #ten paragraphs?? golly #well. you sent sunflowers here's some sunflowers #but no seriously thank you this was fun to type up

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ginnyzero · 5 years ago

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Storytelling is More Than Just the Facts

Every craft has jargon, this nomenclature of words that are like a secret code to those in the know and completely baffling to those on the outside or those just breaking into the ‘group.’ (Religion is the worst for this, right up there with science and politics.) And the one I find that trips up the budding writer the most is “Show, don’t tell.” They can be teenagers or seventy years old and when you say ‘show, don’t tell’ to them they’ll still look blankly at you. Whether or not they ask what you mean depends on the person. (There is nothing worse than saying show don’t tell to a person who isn’t aware what it means and then they don’t ask questions!)

There is a major difference between showing something and telling something and nine times out of ten the beginning writer will tell something rather than show it. (The other tenth of a time is when a beginning writer is in love with what we call ‘purple prose’ and uses a lot of adjectives and nouns that don’t even really have meaning to what they’re using them for. It’s like they’ve vomited up a thesaurus. It’d be more amusing if I meant a dinosaur.) While there is something to be said about keeping prose simple, telling is like having a story that is all bones without any meat to it. It’s dry and boring. There is nothing for the reader to sink their teeth into and start living and feeling the story with the character(s).

Summarization vs. Description

Telling is like the reader has picked up the local newspaper that is ‘just the facts’ with some idle speculation sprinkled into it. When you take an entire story or a series of scenes and condense it down to a paragraph, that’s telling. You’ve just summarized all the good or interesting bits of your story. Summarization is saved for the backs of books and for things that aren’t important. Telling is boring, yawn worthy and I shut the book and go find something else to do.

Showing something involves describing things and going through it step by step and getting involved into the character’s mind and emotions. When a reader is shown something, they are sitting in the back of the character’s mind and feeling like they’re in that character’s body and life! Showing is exciting and dynamic and keeps me glued to the page.

In writing there has to be a proper balance between showing and telling. Too much showing and the story drags as it gets bogged down in all the details. Too much telling, the story falls flat and there is nothing to hold the reader to the page.

Telling is like listening to a ‘Good Ole Boy’ tell a story. “I was doing this, see, when this happened, see, and then I did that!” And you’re supposed to laugh and slap his back and tell him what a good storyteller he is. Unless it’s a funny play on words or something, the good ole boy always forgets to add any sort of description into his story whatsoever. Sure, they’re telling a story. They’re telling a story by telling it rather than showing it. They’ve summarized all the good bits. In fact, most the time they’ve summarized the entire story!

When it comes to writing a story, description is the writer’s friend. So, when the good ole boy says he was off hunting in a forest, I want to interrupt and go “What kind of forest?” If he’s in an evergreen forest that’s different than a deciduous forest, which is different from a rainforest! Old forests are different than young forests. And each of these forests are going to look and sound different depending on the time of year. They’re going to smell different too! So, if you’re going to tell me you’re in a forest, you need to describe to me the type of forest you’re in!

This applies for settings, characters and objects. If there is a noun in your story and you insist that said noun is important to the story, then by golly, you better describe said noun! That’s what adjectives were invented for! Describing a guy as handsome isn’t really helpful. Everyone’s standards of handsome are different. The same goes for a pretty woman. Of course, anyone can imagine a more handsome or prettier person than any writer can describe. But the writer has to give them the key features for them to create their mental image of the character upon.

Then comes the next big question, what are people doing? How are they standing? Are they fiddling with anything? What are their facial expressions? Do they sweat? Do their hands shake? People’s actions betray their character. What goes on the outside of a person, reflects what is going on the inside. Character actions invite reactions. Suddenly the characters are involved with each other and aren’t just standing there with their hands at their sides with blank looks on their faces. Instead, we are in a play, where Lumiere is hamming it up on corner of the stage while Cogsworth hides his eyes with his hands. Next, there shall be a duel! Candlesticks versus clock hands! Allez! Fence!

Sorry, got caught up there for a moment.

Reporting vs. Opinion

Often a beginning writer writes like he’s giving a statement to the police. This happened. Then this happened and then this happened. The police don’t care about what he thought about the incident. They don’t care about his opinion or what he thinks happened. They want just the facts. What happened? When did you see it happen? Can you describe the victim and the perp, please?

In a book, that’s not what the reader pays for. They want to know what happens. They want to know when it happens. And then they want to know what the character thinks about it! What are the characters opinions? Maybe the character didn’t see things correctly! How does the character feel about what happened? How do they react to it! What do they do? And suddenly, we’ve gone full circle here!

Dry Facts vs. Explanations/Compare and Contrast

67% percent of statistics are made up on the spot. (That was made up.) However, in the real world there are certain absolute facts. Gravity tends to be an absolute. Sports players have metrics by which they define their lives and careers. Any type of vehicle has a certain specifications to meet its class. So, the beginning writer who wants to show off their smarts will no doubt put some sort of statistic in their story, from how fast they can run down a field, to the engine power of a vehicle to the price of tea in China and how tall they are. A lot of times, the reader really wants to know what the price of tea in China has to do with anything. And the writer, who is so steeped in these statistics and facts, doesn’t understand that no one else really knows what that means. So they don’t ever explain. They just state the fact and move on.

Well, it’s nice that you told us this. Now, perhaps you can show us what that means. Now, there are a few ways to go about it. They can actually make it important to the story and show the character doing that thing that they made the statistic about. They can be in a race or go toe to toe with a bully or compare and contrast the price of tea in China to the price of tea in India and Britain as they try to order tea in bulk for their new tea shop. (I’m reaching. I know.) Or, they could just out and out explain the fact for the ignorant. This is called exposition. This also usually involves some compare and contrast as they compare to famous people or use a metaphor with something people are familiar with. Exposition can be important to understand what exactly is going on in the story and how this statistic or fact is important to the story.

Now, if the fact or the statistic isn’t really important as it never gets shown in the story in any way, then you might as well axe that fact or statistic until it is important.

Dialogue, Expositional vs. Action

Sometimes, there just isn’t enough time in the story to show everything. Explaining things is the way the writer cheats to have the story make sense. And to make it more engaging, often they put it into dialogue. Expositional dialogue is often a lot like that ‘good old boy’ telling his stories. It can be the cap of a scene, where the character tells another character what is going on somewhere else, where he can’t possibly be. Expositional dialogue is telling the reader something. “You mad!” “Of course I’m mad!”

This is opposed to action dialogue. Action dialogue moves the story forward in such a way that the reader isn’t being told what is going on. They’re seeing it. Instead of the character saying he’s mad, he’s swearing a blue streak and issuing dire threats about what he’s going to do if he ever gets his hands on the guy who swindled him. Active dialogue mimics dialogue in everyday life, full of jokes, non sequiturs and random bodily noises. Paying attention to how people talk in real life can help create active dialogue in your stories.

Character traits: Showing vs. Telling

Then there is the last and sometimes hardest aspect of showing versus telling, character traits. It is one thing to say that the character is smart, cool headed, good in a fight etc, etc. It is another thing to put the characters in situations where they will be able to be smart, cool headed or show off those fighting skills you claim they have. A lot of writers fall into the trap of constantly telling character traits, emotions, skills, interests, hobbies and then never showing the character actually doing these things. Sometimes it might be the difference between a plot focused story and a character focused story. In a plot focused story the writer is so focused on the action and the conflict, that they forget to take pauses and let the character and reader rest. So many times, they revert to telling us that their characters are such and such or do such and such, but then never take the words or pages to have the characters be in situations where those things are important and they have a chance to use their skills.

Showing and telling is a delicate balance. Both techniques can be needed to tell an effective story. Things have to be explained. Sometimes it’s good to both tell an emotion and show an emotion. There are places where summarizing things are appropriate. It takes practice and experience to know when to show (most of the time) and when to tell (very little of the time.) Telling is a lot easier than showing. In telling, there is a lot less of imagination being employed on the writer’s part and a whole lot of imagination having to be used on the reader’s part to enjoy the story.

When writing a story, it is good to indulge in some description, get the characters to voice their thoughts and opinions and put them in situations where their skills can shine. Or, if they aren’t good at those skills, fail miserably. Challenging the character creates conflict. If the character has conflict they have a choice to take action. Action moves the story! A moving story keeps the reader interested and their eyes glued to the page!

#writeblr #writblr #writing advice #show don't tell #show and tell

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terramythos · 6 years ago

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My commentary on October Daye #10 or "Whodunnit: non-Electric Boogaloo" OR "Golly there sure are a lot of references to book 3 in this one. For some reason. I'm sure it's just a coincidence and theres no reason for that at all".

This is the first one that's just a liveblog, not a reread. And there's 2 more after this one. Which I'm told are just devastating. Woo!

-Holy shit, 10 books in and we got a map!

A map!

An honest to God fantasy map!

-Quentin/Dean is.. cute. Again, I like that Dean will probably get more development now that he's more relevant to the plot.

-So. Yeah. Last book introduced the goddamn cure for elf shot, which is A Big Deal Gamechanger. So this whole book is dedicated to like.. the political implications of that

-High King Aethlin Sollys: *shows up*

Me: well crap

-Aethlin: how dare you go behind my back and use the elf shot cure after I expressly said no

Toby, dear toby, literal changeling street rat: I mean, this whole situation IS technically your fault

Everyone in the room:

Aethlin:

Toby:

Aethlin: that's fair

-Oh yay The Luidaeg is going to be involved in this one. I missed her last volume. And since this is about the whole elf shot cure thing, Walther will ALSO be involved :>>

God I love The Luidaeg.

-Interesting backstory re: Quentin's parents. Which explains why they're so cavalier about a changeling training and raising the fucking crown prince 🤔

-Aethlin: I met the most beautiful woman I had ever seen in my life

Maida: I had pox scars on my face and chicken shit in my hair

Aethlin: you hit me with a broom

Maida: I hit you with a broom.

-Lol @ Colorado being called Highmountain

-its interesting to see monarchs and characters from other parts of the US, since we've pretty much only experienced San Francisco and Portland.

-Power move is Arden acknowledging Tybalt as a King and unsettling all the racist fucks in the audience 👀

-think I found some retcon? Cause according to book 5 connor died to elf shot because he was shot in the heart. But this one is saying that elf shot is fatal to all selkies because they're basically human. Whatisthetruth.png

-The Luidaeg just consistently protects and helps children, huh. Here she's super kind and gentle to Karen even though it briefly cracks her badass intimidation facade in front of a bunch of people. She personally carries one of the kidnapped Undersea kids back home. She uhhh literally helps Toby kill her brother Blind Michael, a literal child predator, way back in book 3. And she rescued Toby when she figured out what Amandine was doing to her. I mean. It all makes sense based on her backstory but BOY is that a consistent trait.

I took this pic on a plane but omg

Ashdfkulzeutsgk

-King Antonio: *dies*

Oh no... I uhhh hate when assholes I just met get killed off suddenly

-That being said, getting a glimpse into what it's like to be a Candela with those Merry Dancers as constant, loving companions. Definitely interesting enough that I hope we get more Candela in the series.

-Night haunts night haunts NIGHT HAUNTS their scenes are always cool.

-And Antonio's disoriented "where are my girls?" Talking about the Merry Dancers, when he emerges as a night haunt. That's pretty oof. :(

-OK so night haunts keep the form of the person they eat for as long as that person was alive. So imagine if The Luidaeg had perma died in book 8? The lucky sonofabitch night haunt that got to eat her would have a solid form for tens of thousands of years? That's bonkers. That's bananas.

- That's assuming Firstborn even get eaten @ all. I mean, Blind Michael got killed in book 3 and we haven't seen him with the flock.

- ....... 😳 UH. WAIT. Hold up. Hold the fuck up. No. I'm not exploring that line of thought.

LMFAO SYLVESTER.. *WHAT*

-Neeeeew MONTH NAME! September, Sylvester's dead sister, just got mentioned. I know she's shown up/been mentioned in some of the short stories, buuuuut...

-month names so far: January, April, May, August, September, October

Not introduced (yet): February, March, June, July, November, December

And we still dont know what is with the FUCKING month names. Only connection is they are all female characters and they all seem to be related in some way to Sylvester slash The Torquills. Some (like May) are a stretch there, but...

Oh lore?? OH LORE?

- Simon and Patrick were BFFs? 🤔🤔

-That.. had to have been introduced for a reason. Come on.

-Of course Raj likes romantic comedies. Of course he does

I LOVE the Luidaeg. Have I mentioned. This bit is even funnier knowing she can't lie. Which means she has an actual hierarchy of how much she wants to stab everyone she knows

BIG LUIDAEG LORE.

This is gonna take some unpacking. Most notable here is IS THIS THE SAME RIDE FROM BOOK 3? You know, Blind Michael's Ride, the Halloween horror show where he kidnaps kids and forcibly turns them into monsters? What is this flashback supposed to imply? The Ride used to be something else? The MONARCHS of ancient Faerie actually did kidnap kids like in the stories and Blind Michael took it over when they disappeared? The Ride maybe CAUSED them to disappear? What the fuck?

(Also my vampire crack theory gains more ground. Just look at that first paragraph. And then a couple pages later Toby sees the room covered in her blood and mentions feeling hungry looking @ it. Come on.)

-Support for my theory that this reminds me of: both the Dochas Sidhe we know of have the smell of blood as a part of their magical signature. Toby is initially "cut grass and copper" but as she gains power it becomes "cut grass and bloody copper". Amandine is "blood and roses" (which, interestingly, is what Toby tastes when she wakes up in this scene?) August and Gillian are the only other two characters we know of that have Dochas Sidhe heritage, and who knows what their magic smells like...

-The Luidaeg calling Shakespeare "a fucking dumbass" in a series full of Shakespeare references and motifs is, in fact, hilarious.

-Tybalt getting (basically) mortally wounded, so Toby tastes some of his blood. And sees herself from his perspective and how much he loves her. BIG OOF.

-Also interesting that the more powerful Toby becomes as the series progresses she's now the one saving Tybalt's ass. Was the polar opposite for the first 6 or so books.

-Colorado rep -- Highmountain are the big bads. Lmfao

-Well Toby is *actually* immortal. Like how else do you explain the shit that happens in this series lmao. (Also, turns out being that hard to kill is the shittiest superpower)

-Aw Toby forgave Sylvester... we will see if he actually redeems himself, I guess.

-You can tell Toby is embracing the "hero" role with that whole rousing and surprisingly coherent speech at the end.

This is just a real good character development vignette. We've come so far ;-;

-And of course the cure gets greenlit cause.. of course. But The Luidaeg's line "none of those assholes wanted to think about how confused they'd be if they missed a hundred years of internet memes" is, shall I say, Iconique

-multiple people have asked toby and tybalt to get married @ their house. And now the high king and queen fucking asked. Lmfao

-So this book was... interesting. I liked the political drama aspect. It was another whodunnit which we pretty much got a fill of with book 2. The conflict seemed to just kinda be.. there? I'd call it a filler book, but a lot of like.. lore got established, and we got some of what I assume are big hints/setups. Guess we'll see.

-to be fair books 1 and 2 also seemed like filler and turned out to be Super Fucking Important actually. So

-also there is just straight up a 70 page novella starring Arden at the end so I'll see if anything major happens in it.

-it's mostly a character study of Arden, turns out. But we DO learn that Cassandra, Karen's sister, is also a Seer, which... could be relevant (also I mean come on of course she is, did you see her name). Also Walther and The Luidaeg show up so thats fun.

-And it's funny to see what other characters think of October. Mostly she's a train wreck/practical joke that's somehow become extremely relevant to the surprise of literally everyone

-me seeing the total page count is 420: nice

-Anyway. The next two books sound like a gut punch conga line so let's get reading them

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gaiabamman · 8 years ago

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What's the best way to get an agent?

Getting a literary agent

In order to get a publisher, you need to find an agent. A few publishers will consider writers with no agents, but the typical submission route sees an agent pitching your work to publishers.

Who are agents?

Agents are experts in the book business. They consider hundreds of books a day, choose a few promising clients a year and try to pitch their work to publishers. If you did get an agent he/she is your best bookish friend! Agents are experts who believe in your book. Treat them fairly and don’t expect them to be you biatch. Their job is pitching to publishers, not advertise your book (nor edit or listen to you whine). Know what to expect.

What do agents do?

They select authors as clients and try to get them good deals with publishers. They are paid when the writer is paid. Never give money to anyone to read your work! A serious agent would never ask for money.What don’t agents do? They don’t advertise your book, they don’t edit, they don’t cook for you, nor look after your children.

How do I get an agent?

To get an agent you have to write a query letter. In fact, on average, you have to write about 100 queries to find an agent, and that is only if your book is prime stuff. An alternative is to take part in “pitching competitions” like PitMad on twitter or attending a writers’ pitch conference.

How do I select which agent is right for me?

Don’t flood all the literary agents of the world at once. Choose two or three who published books you liked and are similar to yours. If you can’t think of any, you should probably be spending more time reading before you consider publishing. Check AgentQuery to find agents open to submissions in your genre. Do some research on them, make sure they are a good fit and be ready for rejection.

How do I deal with rejection?

Dismiss it. It’s part of the job and it’s good for big egos. Finding an agent is like finding a soulmate, all you need is one. BUT, if after ten queries nobody asked for a partial of your manuscript, you might want to question if there is something wrong with your query or if you’re pitching for the wrong genres. Alternatively, it could be that your project is “high risk” or not “mainstream” enough, in which case most agents will not take a chance. I personally think that high risk projects are awesome: go indie and publish yourself!

So, how do I write a query?

This is a quick guide on what is a query letter and how to write one to successfully pitch your novel to a literary agent or, less commonly, to a publisher.

Before I say anything about query letters let me disclaim that most of what I learnt comes from the infinite wisdom of Her Holiness the Query Shark, a successful agent dedicated to help hapless, unexperienced writers. Study her website and see plenty examples of failure and success, rejoicing at her snarky sense of humor.

What is a query letter?

A query letter is a short missive (typically an e-mail) that pitches your book in 200-300 words. Don’t go over 400 words, it should fit in one page. A query letter will be likely the hardest thing you will ever write.

What elements should be in a query letter?

A query should answer the following questions:

1-Why did you select this agent?

Successful agents receive about 100 queries a day. Never write “Dear Agent” (guaranteed click-delete response). Agents want to know why you think they are a good fit for you. If you are thinking this is not your job but theirs, you’re better off indie publishing. Ask yourself how many agents are banging on your door right now and how many writers are banging at any one agent’s door. Got the picture? Good. Now do research on your agent. Good lines would be: “you represent this other book (pertinent book similar in style or genre to yours) so I thought…” or “You are seeking books in this genre so…” To find information about your agent of choice, start with AgentQuery, then check the specific agent’s website and any interviews online. Sometimes you might want to go as far as to check their twitter feed or search for videos. Yes, it is a lot of work and a time drain.

2- What is your book about?

You are a writer. SHOW, DON’T TELL! Never say “this is a great story” or “this is the best book you will ever read”, “this is the next bestseller” etc… SHOW THEM! Start with the conflict. Don’t tell them everything, just enough for them to want to read more, possibly getting a feel for your voice.

3- Why are YOU qualified to tell this story?

Are you writing a book about the Vietnam war and you’re a fifteen-year-old Italian? Well, good luck pitching that. You will have to explain why you think you are qualified, and why you are in a unique, privileged position to tell that story.

In general: You only have 200-300 words, choose them well.

1. Avoid clichés; you are a word crafter. Still, don’t overdo it! Verbose queries are not good. Use your style.

2. No typos, you hear me? None.

3. Be professional. It’s really difficult to get the tone of an e-mail or letter sometimes. Avoid jokes and confusing double meanings.

4. Be respectful. Start with Dear Miss Amman (just an example, by golly, I’m not an agent!) Most agents don’t care if you call them by their first names, but some really hate it. They are professionals and they don’t know you. Play it safe.

5. Don’t beg. If you don’t think your book is awesome, nobody will. (Avoid things like “I have been sick” “I have fifteen children” “I barely sleep” “Forgive the typos”).

6. Don’t boast. Be confident, but professional. If you have some facts that can help you list them clearly.

7. Don’t state the obvious. “I would be glad to provide a full manuscript upon request.” Of course you would be. Finish with “Thank you for your time” or similar.Essential info to include: the title of your manuscript ALL CAPITALS, the word count (approximate to the closest 5,000), the genre, your signature with your full REAL name, address and phone number.

BEWARE!

-Check for specific guidelines on each agent’s webpage! Some will go as far as to tell you what type to use. All will specify if they want a partial with the query (typically the first three chapters pasted in the body of the e-mail).

-Send no attachments unless specifically asked. It’s the fastest way to the garbage bin. They fear viruses and will never open an e-mail with unsolicited attachments (signatures, files, anything).-Separate your paragraphs, so that your e-mail is not a scary block of text. Happy querying :D

GBA

PSI compiled this and more advice on a free writer guide you can get from my blog. Click here to check it out. No, it’s not a scam. Yes, I’m a real published author.

#Anonymous #writer #writers #agent #agents #literary agent #query #query letter #Tumblr's writers #booklr #writers unite #be a writer

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thesaleswhisperer · 4 years ago

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The Lords of Finance

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Transcription

Hello, my friend, and welcome to the 460th episode of the sales podcast. I'm chef with the sales whisper, your host, the quartet of central bankers did in fact succeed in keeping the world economy going, but they were only able to do so by holding us interest rates down and by keeping Germany afloat on borrowed money, it was a system that was bound to come to a crashing end. Indeed. It held the seeds of its own destruction. Eventually the policy of keeping us interest rates low to shore up the international exchanges precipitated a bubble in the us stock market. By 1927, the fed was torn between two conflicting objectives to keep propping up Europe or to control speculation on wall street. You tried to do both and achieved neither its attempts to curb speculation were too half-hearted to bring stocks back to earth, but powerful enough to cause a collapse in lending. To Germany driving most of central Europe into depression and setting in train, deflationary forces throughout the rest of the world. Eventually in the last week of October, 1929, the bubble burst plunging the U S into its own recession. The U S stock market bubble. Thus had a double effect on the way up. It created a squeeze and international credit that drove Germany and other parts of the world into recession. And on the way down, it shook the U S economy. Skipping ahead, a paragraph after 1929 responsibility for world monetary affairs ended up in the hands of a group of men who understood none of this whose ideas about the economy were at best outmoded. And at worst, plain wrong. So that is from the ending. This is page four, 502, 503 of a book from, I want to say 2004. And I'll look that up in a second here. Let's call it the Lords of finance or just Lords of finance, the bankers who broke the world. . I've med. Um, very interesting book, quite detailed. When did this come out? Copyright to them? Nine. Oh, okay. That was a little bit older. Um, I read this, um, over the summer, almost finished it on my RV trip back in June. Mmm. Well, yeah, basically did then I got the Rona and, um, so I've been meaning to get to this it's um, it's a deep book. It gets into looking at, um, you know, the early 19 hundreds, uh, how we emerged from world war one, um, looked at the four major central banks, uh, the U S the UK. Uh, Germany and France, um, the impact of reparations on Germany and the rest of the world, the impact of the gold standard, uh, starts looking at, um, the games that FDR played. Um, and the reason I wanted to talk, talk about this on the sales podcast. So you understand. A little bit of insight on what the heck's going on right now, the federal reserve and the us treasury three and Congress and DC, um, you know that right. White house, they are playing a lot of games and we think that, um, because they're out of town and they wear a nice suit and we see them on TV. We think that they know what the heck they're doing, but in this book and I'll look it up and give you the references. But you know, it talks about FDR, literally sitting in bed, uh, his team coming over in the morning, watching him eat breakfast, reading the newspaper, and just randomly, literally pulling numbers out of his butt to set the price of gold for the day. It's like things you could just. No, they kept it secret back then, but it was kind of an open secret that that's literally what was going on. Um, so I just want you to be, you know, trust, but verify, start digging in and asking questions because. The steps that the federal reserve is taking today, the financial stimulus, the emergency loans, the extended unemployment it's going to impact you. And I understand your may not be a financial advisor. You may not have a lot of money invested. Your money may be at risk right now. I mean, who knows, uh, but you need to understand what is going on because look. It's okay. It's better to know that a storm is coming and begin to prepare than to just be caught off guard. You know, I grew up in the South hurricanes just were a part of life, you know, I remember. Tying down trees and filling bathtubs with water and, you know, getting coolers and get ice, get everything ready, uh, boarding up some things sometimes leaving, you know, once I was married, you know, and a wife, a kid, another kid on the way, uh, didn't mess around with that. I mean, I just got out of Dodge. Um, but compare that to an earthquake. I haven't had any big earthquakes here where I live in Southern California, but, you know, I felt them and, um, you know, there's obviously been big ones. And, you know, there's no warning there. You're just hanging out in boom. Roof's fallen in on your head. So yeah, much rather face a hurricane or be threatened by him than an earthquake. All right. And that's kind of how I want to approach this. I want you to be prepared. I want you to know what's going on. Uh, cause at Lee, even if it's bad news, at least you've got the news. Okay. And how does this apply to sales? Well, you know what? Sales is life. And so how does this apply? It's like, Look, if you have bad news to tell a prospect or even a customer, you better get it out of the way. Okay. You need to understand how to position it, how to understand the true needs and wants and desires of your prospects. So you can put yourself in the best light, uh, but you can't lie. Right. I'm a good customer would rather hear the bad news early. Okay. And deal with it. Then you string them along. Uh, and you know, I've always said our job in sales is to sort sift and separate. Our number one job in sales is to prospect. And when we prospect, we are disqualifying the prospect. And so I'd rather hear no early than do a sign, you know, song and dance and wine and dine. For days and weeks and months on end only to then address the elephant in the room that we knew probably was unavoidable was a true objection. You know, an obstacle that could not be removed. So, you know, you've got to dig in, you got to look at what's really going on face it. And deal with it. So if nothing else, you know, you get out of this. I hope you understand that the, the experts really are not very good quite often. You know, the definition of an expert is they come from out of town, they carry a briefcase. So we've got plenty of those around. Okay. So who are you turning to? Who are you relying on? Uh, you know, and the reality is you can't keep up on everything. You do have to pick and choose, you know, who you follow. Who's going to give you the cliff notes. Um, you know, I get it, uh, but don't hold those people up on a pedestal. Okay. Question them, dig in, uh, make sure they're staying on track and make sure they're giving you the facts. Not an opinion. Okay. You're the one that has to form your opinion based on the facts. So make sure you're dealing with people that are shooting straight with you. Okay. But, um, you know, spend some time going through this book against a huge book, 500 plus pages, um, but some amazing stories about. Golly, international finance and war. Uh, and how interesting little, um, issues with people, little preferences, snide remarks, vanity, uh, literally shifted and tilted the world on its axis. One dude, like to collect paintings, you know, other guy was just too busy dating and. Yeah, a couple of guys were sick. I mean, take, take months off at a time. Imagine that you imagine taking two to six months off every gear to handle. I dunno, tuberculosis. I mean, that's what the leader of the federal reserve was doing, right. That the leader of, of the, uh, UK reserve, you know, would have nervous breakdowns. And it's not like you can text and get a quick answer. Right. These guys would literally be like almost unfundable. I mean, you'd have to send, you know, Telegraph to somewhere and get on a horse, you know, or you know, a car, uh, but a rickety car on rickety roads to try to get a message. I mean, just crazy. Wow, the world is crumbling down. That's what was going on so crazy times. Okay. So that's also why I say you got to toughen up. Okay. These are unprecedented times, whatever. Okay. Whatever. We had a bad, bad flu hundred thousand people dying in 1968, 69, millions, tens of millions dying around the world and the Spanish flu 1917, 1918. Um, you know, the great depression, Korean war. I mean, what were one while were two Korean war, Vietnam war, good grief. Almost 20 years now in the middle East, you know, the great recession of Oh eight. We've had a lot of bad times. And look, I do believe. We've got a hard rain coming. When I moved to Southern California in December of Oh four, you know, moving in from, from the outside, looking in, it was obvious the emperor had no clothes. So we rented and I was correct. Um, the, the direction in the severity of the collapse, I was wrong on my timing. It took three plus years for it to really happen. Uh, there's an old saying that the market can stay irrational longer than you can stay solvent. Okay. So let's say I had shorted the market. Um, I'm like, it should be going down. It should be going down. The fundamentals are all wrong and there's no way that it should be going up. There's always something you don't know. Okay. But I didn't, I just rented, rented my house. After five years, he got foreclosed on, we moved in another house and it on a short sale at literally 40 ish percent off from its high. Okay. Now, you know, So we moved into this house. So five, 10 it's like February, 2010. We closed on it early, like January of 2011. So we've owned it now nine and a half years. Um, and it's appreciated tremendously. So the timing was right now, as I look at this crazy market, I think it's even crazier. There's a lot of federal reserve intervention going on, probably bigger than what they were dealing with in world war one, world war two, you know, uh, era. So you need to have at least a cursory knowledge of this stuff. Okay. So you can just be prepared. So with that, Let's get you prepared. So the introduction kicks off in August 15th, 1931. As I mentioned, the governor of the bank of England has been in disposed as a result of the exceptional strain to which he has been subjected in recently months. So he had said Canada for months. So the one remaining guy of the four and, you know, because kind of skipped ahead, then they go back and he tells a story. The one remaining guy with, uh, some history, some intelligence and experience. Um, he is having a breakdown while the world. Is breaking down. And so they, they go into some of the specific, you know, this guy, he would, he would travel under a faulty name, you know, a made up name. I talked to about climb over the boat, exited with a rope ladder, one time to avoid the press. Um, you know, this guy, he didn't want to talk to anybody and he's the most experienced central banker in the world. So as all of this is collapsing, right? Production in almost every country had collapsed in the two worst hit the United States and Germany had fallen 40% factories throughout the industrialized world car plants of Detroit, the steel mills of the roar from the silk mills of lions, the ship yards of Tyneside. I said that right. Were shuttered or working at a fraction of capacity. It sounds like right now during COVID, uh, businesses, that cut prices by 25% in the two years since the slump had begun. Uh, but heck I'm seeing prices go up. A friend of mine is in the car business and, um, I talked to him. I don't know, a month ago, roughly. And he said one of his dealerships normally has 350 units on hand. They were down to 175, I think he said, um, and this month August expected them to have like, as little as 75 in September. So production is down, but. It's down too much. Right. And there's still enough demand that it's actually driving prices up. So, you know, cause I'm looking at a new truck, even a used truck. I don't, I usually don't buy new, but um, everything is up, you know, Jeeps, diesel trucks, anything like that, that I'm interested in is way up. So it's, I mean, it's almost like the Jimmy Carter stagflation, you know, of the late seventies. It's just, you know, when you have stag.

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wishingfornever · 6 years ago

Text

10/16/17 – No Contact: The Third Wall

This new chapter is twice the length of the old chapter. It’s not even finished. I need to add a beginning to it as well as an end. The end will be easy, I’ll just use the original chapter for that. The beginning… Well, a lot has to happen.

I think I said I hated writing for Atlas but at the same time I love it. My problem is that he’s Scottish and is subject to a lot of slang. It’s not as good as it sounds, trust me. I had Eleanor read through a lot of what I wrote to confirm how Scottish it sounds. It sounded fine by her words. This chapter is… incredibly action pact. The battle just unfolded that way. A lot happened. I’m glad I didn’t have to read the previous chapter to see what happened. This way is far better.

One problem is that now I keep trying to hit tab with these entries. Every paragraph gets hit with a tab. It’s not that great. I’ll get over it. But I got SO much done and I need to get SO much done tomorrow. I’m starting to yawn now. So, I guess I’m running out of second wind. It’s almost 1 in the morning.

I slept better than usual. Of course, it’s currently 6:44. Best case scenario, I slept 6 hours. I could live off this, but more than likely I’ll be taking a nap when I get home. It’s so dark.

When I get back, I’ll definitely take a shower. Get ready for the day and walk over soon. I can’t remember my dream but I think it involved Swedes. So, the chapter weighed heavily on me last night. :3

I’m back. Adela is exhausting because she’s stressing out. Then she was projecting her stress onto me. She had to meet with a coworker earlier than usual today and I guess she doesn’t do mornings well, surprisingly. I know I wouldn’t.

I’m totally fine, mind you. I don’t need more sleep, though I might take a nap for later. More than likely, though, I’ll end up going to bed early today. Finally, I fixed my sleeping schedule the night I have to actually need it. ;)

I’ll leave at about 10. Adela wants me to do something around the house. Just gotta spray the base with an anti-insect blocker or whatever. After that, I’ll start getting ready and will try to head out at 10. I’ll try to leave EXACTLY at 10 so I know for sure what time I’d have to leave in order to get there. Or at least the estimated time. As you can imagine, walking doesn’t get caught up in traffic so even though I have two lights to walk through, it shouldn’t slow me down significantly. I probably won’t rush, either. Just a cool, calm walk. And if I leave at about 10, it should be after the morning rush. Of course, I haven’t considered Houston being the 4th largest city. Considering the brand, it should be pretty busy at all times. I’d be surprised if it weren’t.

My funds are getting pretty low. Well… not low. Like, I pay 65 a week for food basically. 260 a month at that rate. So, to survive a year I need 3120 at least for food. I could survive on less, I’m sure, but this is how much my current calorie intake is. Of course, my cousin will charge me more at the end of the month. That’s how it works. ;)

Working at Texan minimum wage at full time, I’ll make 290 a week. For a month, that’d be 1160. After a full year, that’d be 13,920. Of course, that’s all BEFORE taxes and assuming I’m constantly getting hours and don’t get overtime (which I’ll never get, because low-paying jobs are asses when it comes to overtime). At this rate… I could maybe afford a legitimate editor. Of course, some editors would charge about $4,000 to edit a book of my size (about the size of the first Harry Potter, a bit bigger).

However, there might be a cheaper editor who offers critique as well. Of course, I SHOULD finish a second book at least before I publish the first. So, I might not contact her unless I truly need it. Then again, I’m pretty reckless. We’ll see, of course as my book has a lot of problems. I’m going to use your notes as a jumping point. If I do get this editor, I should make sure it’s my near final draft. Because when I get it back, I’ll have to read through it. It’s imperative that any edits I make after she’s finished are correct and fit the rest. I won’t get a second chance at that point.

Should be fine though. My biggest problem is I switch from past to future, I guess.

Oof. Monkey Rag came on. A lot of things remind me of you here. That song reminds me of you, too. My one problem with that song is halfway through, the lyrics end. Ah, well. I shouldn’t be getting moppy right now. I have a lot to do today and not as much time to do it.

Anyways… when I get back, I want to rant about All Lives Matter on Facebook. Most people who claim All Lives Matter tend to be pro-police. That’s fine, mind you. To each their own. However, the ALM thing began as anti-cop. Weird, I know, but it’ll make sense in that post. It’s currently 9. I’ll get started on my chores.

Later.

Current time 10...06. I missed my mark, but that’s okay. I’ll use a stopwatch on my phone. Not a problem. I’ll have to charge it some, so I’ll leave at 10:30. So long as I’m there by noon, I should be fine because people tend to get off then for lunch. Starbucks doesn’t strike me as a great place for a meal, but people still need coffee.

Ugh… Tried another banana. This one smelled weird. Threw THAT away. Really, HEB? Really? I learned spots on a banana doesn’t mean the inside is bad but THESE MUTHAFUCKAS managed to screw that up. They turn brown from the inside out. Really? I found one that was acceptable, cut out the brown, and ate it. Ah, well. At least I smell nice.

My hair needs to dry. And, to keep the curls from curling, I need to comb it as it dries. Or brush. I have a brush upstairs and a comb on me. Humidity leads to chaos. I’m sure you’re aware of this as your hair is curlier than mine.

Btw, the NationStates thing. I basically set vacation mode on and turned it off at 12. Meaning I get my issues at 12 and 6 on the hour everyday. No longer do I have to check to see where the time is to do my issues. I can just be aware now. I wish there were an option to set it to that time automatically, but whatever. I did it without automatic aid.

Speaking of aid, I did put gel in my hair. Not sure if it’s helping. I hope it is. Judging from my reflection, it seems like it… give it time, though.

Anyways, I checked the nation count in our region. Yeah, ours. I know you left it but it’s still ours. Deal with it.

Not the point.

The point is, I’m the most pacifist nation in the region. My motto is Spanish for “They won’t pass because fuck them; they’re assholes” and my military is second largest in the region (behind a relatively inactive nation who never speaks or interacts with anyone because I’m fairly sure the guy who runs it has MULTIPLE nations).

Oof. It’s 10:20. I have ten minutes. I’m starting to get hit by exhaustion. I could totally nap right now. It’d probably do me some good.

Just did the math for taxes. Seems it wouldn’t matter too much. I’d lose like 2k in taxes but there is this thing called Tax Returns which are great. You’ll never see a poor man charged for tax evasion.

Alright, time to go. Currently have a 30% charge. Should be fine. Later.

Back. Took a little under 15 minutes. I ordered an iced tea (green). It wasn’t that bad. I was so parched. Should have hydrated first. The woman who served me was an older gal but she seemed nice. No supervisors were there, unfortunately. And everyone there was a woman.

I don’t think I’ll get the job.

That’s fine. I’ll wait until Friday and start going out again. This time, I’ll do it by the books and apply all over at once. In the mean time, I’ll post that post.

Hrm… my NationStates issue is off by 40 seconds. Still, that’s really good all things considered. Within a minute of noon, I’ll have an issue. So, it’s still at noon. :D

Current time is 6:15. We just walked Max. Adela is depressed. She says it’s because of what happened with Max at the groomer. I suspect there is more to it than that.

Let me fill you in. Max got so anxious and was so stressed, he wouldn’t let the groomers finished. Max’s body is shaved. His ears are shaved. His head? The back of his head? Every part of his head except his ears and front of his neck? Unshaven. He looks… ridiculous.

That said, I was certain Adela’s work was getting to her but looking into further proved fruitless. I’ll be doing the dishes tonight. A never ending story… for dishes. Whatever. Adela asked me to do them and to be fair, we only have so many pans for eggs. Guess what I’ve been eating a lot of.

Speaking of which, I haven’t eaten dinner yet. Not sure if I’ll write more on the chapter. I’ll just take it easy tonight. Tomorrow, I have some things to do. I’ll be sure to finish my chapter, though.

Right now, I’m listening to this dude who supposedly destroyed Eminem. That title was brought about by Republicans, so of course they’d say he was destroyed by this guy. The page is on Facebook, called “The Red Elephants.” Bullshit name, whatever. Their twitter handle is “TheRealRedElephants.” They sell a shirt for $26 that says, “Fuck Antifa” with brass knuckles on it. They wouldn’t happen to have a shirt that says, “Fuck Nazis” would they?

Of course not. They say both sides are to blame yet only attack one side.

I commented on that shirt saying, “Golly gosh, that sure is cool! You guys going to release a shirt that says, ‘Fuck Nazis’ on it? :D” This is a loaded question. I’m not sure if I discussed what a loaded question is to you while I was teaching you about politics.

A loaded question is a question where every answer is bad. They get asked A LOT to make someone look bad. An example of a loaded question is “Have you stopped beating your wife?” If you say no because you don’t beat your wife, that’s bad because it implies you still beat your wife. If you say yes because sarcasm even, that means you beat your wife and they will quote you and not even suggest you were using a sarcastic tone. If you say, “I’ve never beat my wife” then they’ll brand you as a liar because you had to defend yourself from that bullshit.

My question is loaded because it relies heavily on the context. If they tell me, “No” then they’ll imply that conservatives are Nazis. If they say “Yes” then I’ll ask why it wasn’t released with the shirt in the first place and turn it into a cluster fuck.

Not that it’ll matter, mind you. They’ll probably just panic-ban me. Where they panic and then ban me. In case you didn’t know.

Reminds me of that one Christian Warrior page who banned me because I said Aztecs were cool and they are. They banned me and said I’m dumb and my parents are probably dumb. Probably. I took a screen shot. Like, really… why do they get offended so easily? I wasn’t even TRYING to offend them.

Oh, mind you. They were talking about how Columbus Day was getting replaced by indigenous people’s day and how we’d start sacrificing people to the sun. I pointed out how there were no Aztecs in the United States. That’s probably the real reason why because I followed that up with Aztecs are cool.

Some people are rude. I tried calling them out but my friends who actually liked the page didn’t tag them for me. Scoundrels!

Daniel and I are chatting. Told him about Starbucks. You know, I wouldn’t be surprised if you tried getting with him for a night or something. Honestly, I wouldn’t care. Not that I’d give Daniel permission to sleep with my girlfriend but you’re not my girlfriend and he didn’t try to end my relationship. Nor did he start spreading rumors and started telling people falsehoods and flat out lying.

If we don’t get together but you and Daniel have a thing going, good for you guys. He has a great work ethic and a sensitive heart. Of course, his relationship with Canelo is conflicted… obviously… but I think it’s because of his time with juvy. Not sure how to spell the slang.

Anyways, the Red Elephants are really into conspiracy theories. Like… really. Misleading, misinformation, partial truths. Yeah, these guys are totally pushing an agenda. Typical propaganda. I know because I used to write that shit. Of course, I was generally more honest. I tend to focus on building up the people before letting loose political theories. Turns out, people like to be flattered before they rise up.

Look at Obama. “Yes we can!” Because you’re a part of something and YOU can do it! You can do it with us! We can do ANYTHING!!!

Mind you, I’m not fond of Obama or Trump. In a two party system, you’ll find that it’s great for staying unbiased. Someone says, “If Obama did this, you’d support it!” you’d say, “No, I wouldn’t.” It deflates their argument real quick and helps for keeping the debate rational or for skipping straight to ad hominem. One problem, however, is that the people you sling mud with tend to switch sides every 4 or 8 years.

I used to shit on Obama with Conservatives. For different reasons, of course. I didn’t like how he liked to drone strike children and they didn’t like that he was black and on the other team. Now I shit on Trump with Liberals. For different reasons, of course.

I’m reminded that I might be posting this on Tumblr. One of my least favorite things about Tumblr are the people who claim to be Communist without really knowing what it entails. Like, to them? Marxism is a trend. Kind of disappointing. I’m sure if this ever goes on Tumblr (which might happen considering it’d be what I’d do in the event of you telling me no) people would just consistently shit on my for everything. -,-

Ah, well. I’ll try to get that thought out of my mind. Brb, food

Had a salad. Was far better than the one from yesterday. Used honey mustard and avocado. Nothing else. Super simple. The salad itself was quite simple too. For some reason, it was fresher than the one from yesterday. I wonder if they have dates on them.

To be fair, salads can be kind of fattening due to all the added bullshit. I don’t think yesterdays was fattening. Maybe a little because of the cottage cheese. Can’t imagine that’d be healthy. But, of course, it was a shitty salad. You’d think they’d make a salad out of something that isn’t lettuce. It’d be healthier. And lettuce just… is boring.

I miss you. I’m missing you. I regret what happened between us. I wish we could just… talk. Not about us, just talk. I want to hear your opinion, even if I don’t care for the subject. You don’t know how this situation has made me feel. I guess I don’t know how it’s made you feel, either.

Anyways, since I went vegetarian I noticed my poop has been super green. It’s a good thing. :D

Yeah, I know. I can’t get too serious. Except I was sort of serious. With both. My poop has been super green. But still, I’m missing you right now. I don’t know why. Just… with Adela and Max, I feel like you could really help out and they’d appreciate it. I know Max would. He loved you.

I feel… terrible. I can’t help but think of you. Something is going on. I feel like I’m reliving our entire relationship in a single second every second. A lot on my mind.

Oh… would you look at that? They added two stages to the five stages of grief. Placing a lot of faith in older psychological models tends to lead to failure. These stages often have their own twists and biases, leading to heavy criticism and debate. Maybe… all this. All I’ve done was just bargaining. Assuming the model is true. I’m not sure I’ve accepted everything, but I’ve felt the depression. I tried moving on. Perhaps the journal isn’t helping. Perhaps I can’t move on while I’m still writing in this dumb little word document.

It’s helped me though. It gives me a chance to talk about how I feel, though I think I’ve just been using it for food updates lately. I can work on expressing my own feelings. So what if I haven’t accepted the end? It’s wrong of me to try to force emotions. I’m not going to fake how I feel just to satisfy you or anyone else. Especially not myself.

I love you, Esther. I really do. I sincerely doubt we’ll ever get back together, but I hope we do.

That said… I intend to delete the letter I wrote you. That was early on. Before I even began this journal. That contract? Delete that two. Why bother with it? You’re not coming back and that sucks. Right now, it’s just a waste of memory. And if you DO come back? Well, I wouldn’t agree to it.

The thing is, I’ve learned to respect myself a bit more. I’m not going to give you everything just because you say, “I want it” if it’ll hurt our relationship. So, if we got back together? The contract would favor me more. You said it yourself. The contract I wrote was hard on me.

Who knows? Maybe you’ll break up with me again when you discover the contract is no longer valid and you won’t get half the things I would have agreed to. You had your chance to exploit me but you didn’t. If you manage to overcome your distaste for me and we begin to talk more and somehow decide to give it a second chance but you ask for the contact I’d written a month or two ago and hear no, maybe you’ll be fine with it. Maybe you’ll be willing to give it a chance despite no guarantees.

Ugh… if this is on Tumblr, I’ll have to explain the contract. Gross. If I don’t, people will think we had a financial agreement or something. I’d rather not right now. If this is on Tumblr and someone who isn’t Esther is reading this, then know that the contract wasn’t good or bad. It was fun and more an educational tool to get Esther to read the fine print and notice specific wording and shady legal practices. The contract I wrote was something that’d ensure the integrity of our relationship in the event that we got back together. It was mostly to show I had yielded and I’d do anything to get her back, regardless of my personal feelings.

I disregarded myself. It was easy to. Easier then, at least. Now? I may be moody now, but I feel more confident (on average, at least). I’ll overcome this feeling and get back on my feet.

One of Esther’s problems was that I was always on my computer. Admittedly, it wasn’t only when I was miserable. I was on it a lot and I neglected her. That’s one of the things I regret, not only because Dennis filled her head with the idea that I HATED her as well as himself and Daniel but because it was wrong of me to do. Shitty move on my part.

I wasn’t the best boyfriend. I should have been. Esther deserves the world. She’s such a sweet, caring soul. But now… I know better.

I wanted to prove to her when she moved out that I would change. I uninstalled ALL my games. All of them except for Town of Salem. It was more symbolic than anything else. I offered to destroy my computer later on if that’d make her happy but that just annoyed her. At that point, I was very low. Not as confident.

Now, I wouldn’t make that offer. If I ever write a book, then I’ll need the computer for writing. I could potentially make money off through this old laptop. However, I’d uninstall ALL my games again. It really doesn’t matter to me. They’re material goods and bring me only amusement but not happiness. With the exception of rewriting the naval battle in my book, I haven’t played very many games as of late anyways. I guess since I stopped talking to Esther and started talking to… future Tumblr, I guess? Whatever. Since I started talking to future Tumblr, let me confirm this now.

The Naval Battle in my book is from Napoleon Total War. It was unscripted, a match between five people with myself being among them. If my book takes off, maybe I’ll show the battle sometime. But, that’s not very likely. I know my odds and they’re stacked against me.

Then again, I had a one in 400 trillion chance in being born. Not sure how accurate that estimate is but if there is any truth to it, then I’ve already finished the hard part. ;)

Honestly, my chances are pretty good all things considered. If I need a source, my existence is proof enough.

Back to you, Esther. You’re beautiful. I just wish you could see me now. You’ll see the difference. You’ll see how I changed and how I’ve rebuilt myself. I still get the odd fit of depression, but it doesn’t linger. I don’t hurt anymore.

Anyways, it’s almost 10 and I promised Adela I’d do the dishes. I love you, Esther. I hope you’re safe.

Esther!!! I discovered something called a poet’s collar. It’s longer, pointed collar. Like a regular shirt collar… but longer. That’s it. The keyword is “poet” though. It’s perfect! I have some ideas for it and I’m super stoked. I know just the shirt that’d work with it but it’s in California.

DAMMIT!!!

#breakup #slice of life #frustration #depression #getting over it #moving on #journal #a year ago today

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