#OCD or something?

[aropride]

[angelicgarnet]

the way people online talk about autism is getting really weird, like do they know that neurotypicals still have interests? that someone being passionate about a hobby doesn't mean they're autistic? you guys know that right

[spyroz]

if anyone needs help identifying things that can become moral scrupulosity OCD obsessions/compulsions, heres a list of some i've experienced:

rereading your posts/texts over and over

checking your notes and/or followers list frequently to "make sure" bad actors aren't interacting with you

checking OP's blog before interacting with posts

compulsively opening a social media tab to look at your notifs and then closing it, over and over

fearing ways that things you say/do (or don't do) could be taken in bad faith. being anxious that your words/actions will be misconstrued as morally wrong, bigoted, rude, or aggressive

feeling guilty or obsessing over whether you should or shouldn't have reblogged a post

feeling like you aren't "allowed" to disengage from online discourse or unfollow people who post it

fearing you're being stalked, talked about, or called out behind your back. fearing you'll never be forgiven and that people might even celebrate your disappearance or death, even though you havent done anything wrong

searching your own name/username to see if anyone is actually talking about you

imagining defenses you would make against nonexistent heinous accusations or arguments against you, to prove that you didnt do it

feeling like you have to roll over and become a doormat when others are cruel to you, because it could cause strife if you do anything other than grovel or apologize

having trouble enforcing your own boundaries out of fear that they are somehow "wrong" or unethical

ending up surrounded by people who have all the "right opinions" but are super mean and unpleasant, and make you feel like you have to walk on eggshells

fearing that just HAVING moral ocd makes you a bad person somehow (for example, i often fear that having moral ocd is somehow pushing a 'stranger danger' or misanthropist agenda, even though i actually have a lot of faith in my fellow humans)

some of these bullet points are not inherently bad on their own, but if you find yourself having this kind of anxiety very often, that's not normal, and it's time to get offline or even seek professional help if it's impacting your life

this list is catered to how online culture influences moral scrupulosity, it is not indicative of how everybody's moral scrupulosity functions, and it is not exhaustive

[turtletoria]

one downside to digital mediums of art is that you cant see the tear stains (they just slide down the screen)

[lucabyte]

A belief in Nominative Determinsim

[gin-juice-tonic]

To all the people who have moral-based OCD out there I'd just like to say that you are not a bad person if you try to give someone the benefit of the doubt or a chance to explain themselves.

Even if in the end they betray that gesture.

Trying to be understanding to someone is not a moral failure on your part.

[girljeremystrong]

i love tumblr because you can post something like 'i hope my best friend's boyfriend dies' and everyone agrees and nobody tells you you're crazy

[osmanthus-wine-addiction]

03 Aphrodisiac

Zhongli x Reader / NSFW / Dubious consent because aphrodisiacs / Set far before the archon quest. Rex Lapis is actively ruling Liyue. He's called Morax in here / Reader is a member of a dance troupe

It must've been slipped into your wine, you helplessly concluded as you succumbed to the effects of the aphrodisiac. A feverish heat had been steadily spreading over your cheeks and your mind was becoming hazy as you waited for your fate. Eventually, reasoning and refusal would be beyond you. You didn't want to imagine yourself possessed by lust, begging like a shameless whore, but your dire situation remained. You had been delivered to Rex Lapis as a fragrant offering.

Your dilemma began the moment the god asked for your name following your performance. Was he aware that every harmless breath he takes has the power to stir up a storm in the lives of mortals like you?

The doors opened and multiple footsteps approached. Lanterns were lit and an incense burner was prepared. You didn't have to look to see who had returned to their chambers. The elaborate and expensive furnishings and decor surrounding you had disclosed to you whose bedroom this was long before he arrived. It could only be him, that one man in the audience tonight who held the power to alter the course of your life drastically with a few words. Rex Lapis stopped at the foot of the bed, gaze raking over your body in silence, possibly wondering what on Teyvat you were doing in his bed.

"It appears that my praise had been misinterpreted." The archon remarked with muted disdain.

He made a mental note to have someone find out who the leader of the troupe was tonight and have them questioned. This was not how he intended for business to be conducted in his jurisdiction. Also, he would have to replace some of the staff within these quarters seeing as something like this managed to happen directly under his nose without his prior knowledge.

While the archon pondered how how this came to be, your mind was occupied by other uncertainties. The troupe had labeled you expendable as soon as Rex Lapis showed interest in you. If you were to be sent away tonight, what would become of you? This must not be the first time something like this had happened. You wondered what happened to the offerings that came before you. Did he accept them, despite them being unsolicited? Did the archon have a secret harem that he kept carefully hidden from his public eye?

Rex Lapis dismissed all the servants in the room, leaving only you and himself. His brow furrowed as he leaned over you, softly brushing a hand along your face. Your skin was warm to the touch. He took note of your unusually flushed complexion and the heaving of your chest. It was clear that you had undergone some preparation before being brought to him.

"You're trembling, dear. What have they done to you?" You faintly hear him murmur. There was a hint of guilt in his voice.

His voice was the last thing you should be hearing, you thought. You couldn't deny that you found the velvety quality of it deeply arousing. The Lord of Geo was also a delicious feast for the eyes too, both face and body sculpted to perfection. Your mind wandered precariously, just as your eyes did. Rex Lapis stood before you, draped in overlapping layers of fine silk and glinting gold, but all you could think about was that statue you occasionally pass by on the outskirts of the city. It must've been carved during a time when the archon was less reserved, with his exposed torso chiseled in painstaking detail. Was he really like that underneath all these layers?

"You may stay the night in these chambers if you wish. It would not be safe for you to go elsewhere in this state. I shall rest on the chaise tonight." He assured you even though you were barely able to process the words he spoke.

Wispy moans drifted from your parched lips, curling enticingly against his ears. Sweat beaded against your skin, only to soak into the pillows you buried your face into. Your body writhed desperately in search of friction. You had to bite your lip for fear of sullying your archon's divine name. The last thing you'd want to do is mindlessly call out to a god to satiate such mortal urges. The fact that all of this was falling into the eyes of Rex Lapis had you wishing it was all just an incredibly twisted, shameless dream.

You could hear footsteps depart from the foot of the bed. When you thought he was about to leave you to your own misery, he returned, this time slipping a pillow between your thighs.

"This should help alleviate the discomfort to some degree." He supplied.

You jolted, skin tingling from the brief contact.

Surely, Rex Lapis's original intentions must've been to ignore your distress. His hesitation to touch you was certain at least. If he accepted you as a gift, it would only encourage other factions to follow such distasteful practices. The Lord of Geo couldn't possibly be seduced by an unsightly, babbling mess, no matter how needy and helpless you were. So how exactly did he end up stripped naked underneath you the next morning, covered in what could only be bite marks and questionable bruises of your own making?

"I see. You've completely forgotten." The Geo Archon realized, a tinge of disdain in his tone.

"Not intentionally." You defended yourself, effortlessly slipping into the pious role of a devout follower. "I would never dare to."

"Never?" He chuckled, tucking a stray tendril behind your ear. "Would you like me to remind you of all the blasphemous deeds you committed last night?"

Your eyes widened at his accusation. How strong was the aphrodisiac? The lapse of memory in your head regarding the previous night concerned you, especially seeing how the two of you were tangled up in his silken sheets without a single piece of fabric separating your bodies. His body wore the evidence of your insatiable appetite. Your own body was practically unmarred in comparison. Was it even possible that he had not taken advantage of you in your less-than-rational state and simply volunteered himself to be the anecdote for the aphrodisiac? Was this god really that selfless?

"Rex Lapis…" You cleared your throat awkwardly. "I apologize for—"

"Morax."

"Pardon me?" You blinked at his interruption.

"Call me by Morax instead."

"I can't… that would be audacious of me, to address the Lord of Geo directly by name."

All of Liyue knew this to be the archon's name, but nobody called him by it out of reverence, using his title instead.

"You certainly had the audacity to use it last night."

Your face burned like a pile of dry timbers at his revelation. Oh, you wouldn't doubt it. You probably uttered that name in very inappropriate ways.

"Morax." You tested the sound of his name on your tongue. Yes, it definitely didn't feel like the first time you've said it. "Will you be keeping me here or sending me back?"

"Straight to the point hmm?" The archon hummed in approval. "Would you prefer to dance for me alone or share your gift freely? The choice is yours to make."

"Will I see you again if I choose the latter?" You gathered the courage to ask after drawing in a deep breath.

A smile spread over his lips at your question. He reached out for a jade belt ornament lying on his dresser, dangling it before you. It was an intricately carved piece, the craftsmanship exquisite as you would expect any of his other valued possessions would be. Was he gifting this to you?

"I may summon you to perform for a private audience from time to time. This would grant you entrance through the guarded gates."

"What if I'm not summoned for a performance?" Your heart beat erratically inside your ribcage.

"You're saying you wish to see me for other reasons?" His amber eyes darkened.

It was then that you remembered you were still in the archon's bed, draped over his body, very much naked. The aphrodisiac had long left your body, but heat spread through you regardless, as if his words alone were enough to rekindle the previous night's flames.

"Morax…" You gasp as you felt him stir beneath you.

His hand fell on your thigh, grazing the skin there with his fingertips. Your senses came alight, goosebumps following his featherlight touches.

"Now that you are no longer inhibited, you can tell me if you truly want this. My patience had been tested thoroughly last night."

"I…" Your lips parted as he guided your thighs over his hips. "I didn't force myself on you, did I?"

"You certainly tried." He chuckled. "It was an honest effort."

"Why did you let me do those things to you?" You couldn't bear to look at all those unsightly marks you left on him. What kind of monster did the aphrodisiac turn you into?

"Dear, I couldn't bear to watch you hump a bedpost and not intervene. If I had left you to your own devices, you could easily hurt yourself."

You did what? Surely Rex Lapis, a literal god would not make up something as outrageous as this, which could only mean he was telling the truth.

His hands fell on your hips as he gently guided your body to move against his. Heat pooled between your legs as you tentatively grinded yourself against him. Morax's breathing grew heavy as yours thinned into shallow wisps and sighs.

"Sing for me, my sweet."

"Morax…" You utter his name like a prayer.

"The way your body moves... Yes..." He groans as your soaked entrance catches the tip of his cock. Your hips roll in a hypnotic rhythm, swallowing him steadily until he was buried to the hilt in you. "Such an exquisite beauty."

He's generous with his praise, never withholding it. After that first night, he's learned how simple it is to satisfy you.

It all felt like a fever dream. All of these private visits had begun due to a single aphrodisiac-ridden night. Whether they were sustained by lust or something else, it mattered little whenever he was embedded deep inside of you, filling you with his cum and telling you how good you were for him, how beautiful you were when you came for him. As a performer, you lived on praise, was addicted to it. After all, it was one harmless praise that had landed you in the archon's bed. Perhaps that was the true aphrodisiac. As long as he used it often, you would always be wrapped around his finger.

[nicollekidman]

realizing that people who equate cynicism with intellectual rigor are often just being lazy and pathetic has been so helpful tbh

[littlemeow]

shoutout to age regressors and age dreamers who have moral ocd, harm-ocd, and/or p-ocd. we arent hurting anyone by regressing or dreaming. we aren't dirty or impure or monsters or predatory. its okay

[hillerska-official]

[ink-wells-and-feathers]

hey u. yeah person reading this. you don't have to reblog that thing if you don't want to. it doesn't make you a bad person if you don't. nothing bad will happen if you don't. if you're like me you're struggling with this. I understand I am too. but nothing bad is gonna happen and you're not a bad person.

[powerfulkicks]

intrusive thoughts are so funny. your brain is like "imagine how fucked up it would be if you pushed that stranger in front of a car lol" and you're like yeah. that would be fucked up. i'm not gonna do that though. and your brain is like "ok. just to make sure i'm gonna make you think of it in graphic detail over and over for the next five minutes just so that you really understand how fucked up it would be." thanks i guess.

[bonefall]

my system has had to help a very loud.. very aggressive alter.. well, calm down. he’s still very loud, but he just enjoys screaming!! he’s learned to be less mean to headmates/herself/others!! i honestly think it would be interesting if instead of them.. like.. eradicating the “evil voice”(????) they just!! yaknow!! talk!!!! communication between headmates is very important!! it’s how we make sure things run smoothly and get someone out of front if they can’t handle it!!! moonpaw and voice friendship..

Daring to hope that maybe we can see something like this play out. It would be fresh and interesting for this arc to feature a lot of self-reflection and communication-- in fact, I feel like that was missing from the last one. A lack of Sunbeam or Nightheart actually introspecting about their issues, neither identifying nor truly working through them, just progressing as characters when the plot needed them to.

I'm loving the story of Moonie that's being "woven" by systems coming into the inbox. Most pwDID seem to agree that conflict between Headpaw/Starpaw and Moonpaw isn't the problematic part, it's the "villainization" of the voice. The "vibe" is the desire to see Headpaw/Starpaw being treated as a person within the narrative, not just as a malicious "entity."

Even without this being about representation (tho that is still important), isn't that just... refreshing?

Aren't we tired of Evil Spirit influencing the cats to do bad stuff, while Good Spirit influences them to do good stuff? Do we really need another Ashfur so soon? Wouldn't it be nice if there was some narrative, textual nuance to the situation for once?

[local-limebug]

adhd is an emotional storm and NO ONE TALKS ABOUT IT !!! like... executive dysfunction and forgetfulness and time blindness and all are a huge part of it and i see those being talked about all the time but no one fucking talks about the depression, the risk seeking, the hyperactive thinking, the things understimulation can lead to, like?? ADHD IS HELL. AND ALL ANYONE FUCKING TALKS ABOUT IS HYPERFIXATIONS.

[phoebespenglers]

can we please stop telling people to kill themselves and to rot in hell and that they deserve to be bullied and that they are inherently horrible people who deserve to die and get doxxed. please. can we please stop doing that.