#Nyxie answer !

[schizowitchic]

Hey, could you explain the whole NPD devaluing to me? What causes it and what does it look like? (What thoughts do you have etc.)

I’m trying to figure out if that’s what’s going on with me.

finally answering this!! putting it under the cut because it got kind of long

(sidenote before we begin - I don't know if devaluing is the most commonly used term for this experience in the npd community, i know there have been some debates over which terms to use as some originated with people who believe in narc abuse, and I don't know if devaluing is one of them, I know discarding has been renamed but unsure if devaluing also has) (Other sidenote - when I say "you" in this post I mean it in the general sense)

So as I understand it, devaluing in NPD is similar to the concept of splitting in BPD. It comes from that sort of black-and-white thinking common in Cluster B personality disorders, and since a lot of NPD symptoms are based around "worth", such as self-worth, quite a common example of black-and-white thinking towards people in NPD could be something like:

"You are worth everything to me" vs. "You are worth nothing to me",

"You are above me" vs. "You are equal to me" vs. "You are beneath me".

Then the process of devaluing would be something like having Person Y be a close friend, valuing Person Y pretty highly in your eyes - and then Person Y does something you don't like (Most likely something that damages the ego in some way - as NPD is an ego-related disorder) and suddenly Person Y is not equal to you, why would you ever like Person Y, Person Y is worth nothing, etc. etc.

Many things could cause a person to become devalued, it really depends on the presentation of NPD/the relationship itself - for me I often find expressing an opinion I really don't agree with, doing something that affects me negatively, or annoying me often in general will probably trigger thoughts associated with devaluing.

I wouldn't say that devaluing is necessarily permanent - people can go up and down in the sort of hierarchy that I have of them, which would obviously be dependent on what they have done/why I started to devalue them.

Devaluing is sort of a defense mechanism - if someone has been devalued then their opinion is less likely to matter to you (Thoughts such as "why would I care about the opinion of a person so obviously beneath me") and then your ego can't get hurt by that person.

What devaluing looks like would probably be highly dependent on the specific presentation of NPD - whether the thoughts stay internalised, or become externalised through self-destructive behaviour, or are externalised through hostility towards whoever is being devalued.

Devaluing can also lead to what is called "discarding" or "Relationship burn-out", where perhaps the thoughts surrounding a person primarily become negative/you no longer see the person as worth your time/you find you aren't getting enough supply from a person, and you let the relationship go or distance yourself.

To finish up, I would say that obviously, viewing people in a hierarchy based on their worth, and having black-and-white thinking surrounding relationships with people is clearly not healthy, but I tend to focus more on controlling my reaction to those thoughts rather than controlling the thoughts themselves. (e.g. instead of straight away dropping contact with the person, taking some time to reflect on what happened - why did I devalue them, is it salvageable, am I overreacting etc.)

Anyway, I hope this helps you anon, and if anyone has anything else to say please do!! I am not an expert and any input/clarifications are welcome in replies or reblogs!!

[yourlocalkitkat]

Bazinga... As in... Sheldon Cooper's signature word...Bazinga... As... Bazinga Sheldon Cooper... Sheldon Bazinga Cooper.... (Im losing it)

I'M DYING HELEPME

[fear-is-nameless]

trick or treat!

Let's go treat!

[nyxelestia]

Girl shut the fuck up you have the political literacy of someone who tunes in once every 4 years the DNC made their own bed by being spineless fascists and that Macklemore can fucking mackle

I almost deleted this out of habit and principle, but I'm honestly too amused by your assumption.

I'm politically active for a living. Not only do I "tune in" to politics well beyond 'once every 4 years,' that is often literally my job, depending on my exact position and employer. My degree is literally in political science, with one of my two lower degrees being in history.

My life would be so, so, so much easier if I paid as little attention to politics as the majority of this hellsite's users.

Meanwhile, you don't have the guts to send me this signed-in.

You hide behind anon while crawling into my askbox and you have the audacity to tell me to shut up. You equate weak-willed progressivism with fascism when telling me off for begging people not to put the actual fucking fascist back in office. You rely on buzzwords while regurgitating the politics of the latest Tumblr viral posts and accuse me of not paying attention.

Did the itty bitty dopamine burst from being mean to a stranger on the Internet make you feel better about yourself? What exactly did you expect to accomplish with sending an unsigned Tweet to an audience of one?

You are a coward.

Tell me, anon: How many doors have you knocked on to talk to the voters behind them? How many voters have you registered? How often have you gone to your city council or local equivalent? How many phone calls have you made to your representatives? How many of your representatives can you even name without looking it up first? How many campaign postcards have you written? How many hours have you volunteered for the candidates and causes you care about? How many constituents have you convinced?

How many minds have you changed? How many votes have you gained?

Anyway, Vote Biden. I don't like how soft he's going on Israel, either, but I know he's still a hundred, a thousand, a million times better than whatever the fuck Trump would do in his place. It sucks that these are our only two options, but these are our options, and people are fucking dying in Gaza right now. Your self-righteousness will not help them. Your moral purity will not help them. Your snide sanctimony will not help them.

Your money will help them and your vote will help them. Everything else is just performative, and if you're not getting more votes in the right direction with your performance, then you're wasting your time.

[keeperthemultiversemom]

-insert a small package being left for Keeper-

Keeper is too busy with the marshmallows, but Nyxie found the package !

[nyxi-nsfw]

[permanentreverie]

linds im crying witnessing this thread on your fead is so funny 😭😭♥️

glad to know in the age where gladiators are no longer common my own death in humility can be entertainment for you all 😘

[nyxus-nyx-2]

"Uhh- Papyrus?...I burnt the water-"

-Sans The Skeleton

”SANS HOW THE FUCK DID YOU BURN THE WATER??”

[arikihalloween]

Smol fanart because I love the designs of this AU so much !

Royalty au belongs to @neonross

I've also been making more Royal Nyxie sketches because brainrot of course but

My silly

She's so smol compared to her collegue lmao

[evermorethecrow]

pspsps writer asks number 11 and 12

AHAHA

Well a WIP I'd like to finish is definitely all of yuuko au... To be more specific I want to finish my WIP with chuuya and his buddy on his 13th birthday cause it's very important

A trope I'm into permanently is hurt comfort and one I'm into right now is fantasy bullshit as a metaphor for real life event

[redvexillum]

Makes coffee for Vexi

To me...

You are...

A writing Goddess.

Worships

Makes tea for Nyxy

To me...

You are...

a generous, kind, wonderful, unique, funny, lovable, friendly, hard-working, talented, amazing ...

Friend.

[schizowitchic]

ALSO on the 2nd night staying w my friend we were watching a horror movie w her flat (smile) and i had like. a list of all the jumpscares i was setting timers for when i knew they would happen. ended up leaving halfway through though because i started thinking the movie was real. (honestly the smile entity is a hear me out though. like hear me out) (im not built to actually watch horror films but i am built to use them to add to my hear me out list). anyway me having to leave was a tragic occurrence because then i missed out on the first half of the anime discussion so i didn't get to talk about jjk.

[yourlocalkitkat]

To all Palestine supporters 🫂🤍🇵🇸🌧

We need less than 380€ to reach our short term goal of 28k€ which is 80% of the total goal‼️

Your donations are important to us and we appreciate them no matter what🙏

We need you more than ever😭

Please help me reach our goal as soon as possible 🙏

🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸

!

[nyxelestia]

Hey, I read your response about how the anti movement is like Prohibition, but it made me think about how fandoms can be really afraid of self-criticism and dealing with their own history of oppression within the space. (IE misogyny, racism, homophobia) I remember how, in the early aughts, people were shitting on female characters and then turning around and using male characters as stand-ins for those women. I wonder if that's also connected.

Yeah, a lot of fans had a lot of internalize sexism to unpack - myself included; my first round in ATLA fandom and my pre-Drarry Harry Potter fandom experience are both basically part of my unpacking internalized sexism process.

i.e. When I watched Avatar: The Last Airbender as it was airing on Nickelodeon, I loved Katara. But the more I got into the fandom online, I started to hate her - in large part (looking back as an adult) because I boiled so much of the Kataang vs Zutara shipping wars to, "it's Katara's fault!" Had a similar problem with Harry Potter; I absolutely loved Hermione when I was reading the books, but I started to hate her as I spent time in fandom.

In my teens, I didn't really get the concept "ship wars in general are stupid and they aren't the fault of the original creators nor the characters", nor the broader picture of "ship wars are a product of pop culture polarization for profit and the dysfunctional relationship between capitalism and storytelling."

I just knew that most of the controversies and stresses I experienced in fandom were related to female characters, and I blamed the characters for fandoms' problems instead of, y'know, the actual fandoms.

Since then, I've gotten better. But I definitely remember being an anxious teenager who deeply resented that even in my fun hobby I was experiencing stress, and lashing out at the visible target, not the most responsible one.

[keeperthemultiversemom]

🍓

🌸Strawberry doodle ! 🌸

🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓

🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓

🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓

[nomad1917]

OMG I JUST READ FROST BITE. that gif at the end was perfect and omg I'm so upset the next part is not up yet. I loved this story thank you so much

Thank you!