#Number 3 is going to give me nightmares for the next 15 years

[ray-elgatodormido]

Practicing facial expressions with Erdos the “perfectly sane” tiefling feat. Scribbles of party members

[r0yalgrimmartz]

Kore and Chazz in the year 2024,,,

Since yugioh GX is set in like 2004 at the start of the series and they're like 15-16 there, so like 35-36 (oh JESUS), and I think Chazz and Kore might be married at this point here. Idk mainly because I personally think it would take them a while to get married mainly cause Kore was not exactly one to be in a rush to get married. AND I COULDN'T BE BOTHERED TO SKETCH FUTURE DESIGNS IMMA CRY!!!

But here are some ideas my brain was scrambling:

⚡️ Chazz is a world famous pro duelist basically at this point, absolutely knocking it out of the park. He's finally where he feels like he's meant to be, yet without his brothers help. However, he's somewhat mellowed out as he's gotten much older, but his old personality still lingers. He's still The Chazz we all know and love at heart.

[MORE SHIT UNDER TO READ]

⭐️ Kore does also funny enough become a pro duelist, however that is somewhat a bit later yet she's managing just fine. Chazz is somewhat responsible for helping funding her (that was before they confessed the feelings but shhh).

⚡️ They currently have three kids (idk how the fuck they even agreed to three), with Kore being the fun and exciting parent but knows when to be stern and mature when things get a bit serious. Chazz is surprisingly the somewhat stern parent, however he's a great listener if his kids have problems and is better at giving advice. Plus he might let them get away with a few things it's all good.

⭐️ Kore absolutely misuses modern day internet slang so bad. She has tried this with her kids. Her kids are absolutely embarrassed. Chazz does not even bother, he's just confused. Like wtf is "GYATT"???

⚡️ Chazz ends up needing fucking reading glasses, his vision when reading up close got worse-

⭐️ For all Kore is the physically affectionate one, Chazz has to initiate the affection and love since...Kore forgets. This man just waiting for a smooch as she just obliviously walks past.

⚡️ I am not entirely sure what Chazz's relationship with his brothers would be currently, since originally I had it where they absolutely do not speak to one another. But, maybe they all met up once just to have a brief catch up??? As unrealistic as it sounds, but maybe after that they just all go seperate ways.

⭐️ Kore gets married to Chazz around the age of 29-30. Mainly because Kore and Chazz didn't see each other again till they were like 23-24, but it was mainly Chazz trying to initiate trying to form a bond again (ends up being a romantic bond). Chazz literally tried proposing to her several times and this dumb bitch was like "ehhhh can we hold it off till next year and ask me that again?" Then after a few attempts Chazz just did one last attempt out of frustration probably outside of a gas station and she just was like "hmmmmmmm okay sure <3 But could you put 20 on number 4- " Yeah. Very...romantic.

⚡️ Chazz cannot drive for shit. Kore is the designated driver. Currently has been trying to learn thanks to Kore but he kinda just says fuck it and goes. Nine times outta ten nearly crashes into the side of someone's car.

⭐️ Shopping trips tend to be a nightmare, mainly because Kore wanders off, and Chazz is fighting for his life on trying to find out where tf his spouse just fucked off to. Kore is found wanting to buy several mugs she found cute. Chazz is scolding her like a fucking parent and dragging her back to the shopping cart.

⚡️ Adding onto shopping nightmares, I feel like Chazz still is like "we getting the finer brands" and Kore on the other hand is like "yeah but they have a three for one sale- " then it ends with Chazz forcing the finer brands into the shopping cart. He's paying for the shopping tho so win win???

⭐️ Kore has dragged Chazz out for late night car rides a couple of times. Both going on late night drives, and getting food from drive throughs. Sometimes they'll park somewhere quiet and just chill on the car bonnet and watch the stars. It's a lame as it sounds, but Chazz just sorta let's Kore. I feel like Chazz does enjoy dumb things like these, granted not wanting to be woken up at stupid hours of the morning, but they kinda just star gaze and ramble on dumb shit or problems they're just feeling.

⚡️ Chazz I don't imagine is the most affectionate person during the series of GX, but thanks to Kore's gentle affection and her being slow and steady with Chazz, he grows more affectionate over time. Doing little things like hand holding, leaning against one another while they're sitting, Chazz constantly keeping Kore close - mainly so she doesn't wander off - or small brief head pats in public.

⭐️ Kore doesn't have much identity issues compared to the shit that happened after Season 3 of GX, but now and then I feel as if after what she's gone through she still struggles with her own image and doubts on who she is. Cause ya know, being used as some sort of sacrifice to be rebirthed as some horrifying deity close monster like some shit outta Fear & Hunger meanwhile your other friends are dead and your other friend is some Supreme King and there's some non-binary dragon monster spirit- Yeah that shit crazy. But Chazz does try help reassuring Kore a lot. She might still have the odd nightmares but Chazz immediately hugs her close and let's her silently cry it out. Once she's calm they'll chat after or unless Kore is that tired, then she'll doze back off.

⚡️ Idk why...but I feel like Chazz is somewhat the type of motherfucker that's like "you kids don't know how good you have it these days" or like "they don't Duel like how they used to" idk but it plays on my mind.

⭐️ Kore worries about how she raises her kids, as she doesn't want to cause strain or pressure on them like how her mother used to push her to be the best along with her siblings. Same with Chazz, he worries about how he raises his kids but he's a bit more self aware and doesn't hold unrealistic standards like his brothers did on him.

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As for like their kids, I doubt they'll ever be sketched. Originally I didn't think they'd have any due to their like fear of how they'd raise them. But I've pondered so just in case, then here even tho it really isn't relevant (both English and Japanese names):

🥀 Kenji Manjoume/Kaden Princeton

- First child

- Golden child yee yaw ass

- Gifted then severely burnt out in later years.

- Very soft and sweet wee lil' boy, grows to be a severely tired and irritable man.

- WhoreTM

- Top buttons on shirt always undone, cleavage. Slut behavior.

- Dramatic af, Kardashian style break down if shit doesn't go his way.

- Needs therapy but won't go. Says he's fine. Is not fine.

- Probably Bisexual. Man leaning.

- Fave ice cream: Cookie Dough.

💎 Himari Manjoume/Harper Princeton

- Second child

- Actually was planned. Ended up being a nightmare child (feral gremlin).

- Was the cutest baby, but underneath would attempt to set someone on fire.

- Tried cutting Atticus' hair once. In his sleep.

- Very chill in later years.

- Quiet and intimidating looking which makes people fear her (is actually super shy and easily flustered someone talk to her).

- Lifts. Has been passed down the beef genes (thanks to Kore and Riley's papa <3).

- Absolutely spoiled by Chazz when she was little. Deffo some form of Daddy's girl surprisingly....

- Can now easily pick up Chazz in later years. She strong. That ain't yo lil' girl Chazz you raised King Kong. Still loves her tho. Just is startled at how she can easily pick him up.

- Literally a beast duelist. Yet fumbles when her crush talks to her.

- Likes to dress very feminine. Very into skin and hair products.

- Very into girl's....is shy to even ask out.

- Fave ice cream: Mint chocolate chip.

✨️ Ekou Manjoume/Elijah Princeton

- Third child.

- Ultimate accidental child.

- Actually the most chilled baby to raise.

- Yet found ways to get into places he shouldn't like the balcony, cupboards, under the bed, on top of the closet,,?

- Very soft and shy little bab, a full on enthusiastic dumbass in later years.

- Zero braincells.

- Surprisingly academically super smart. Yet lacks common sense at times.

- Acts very flamboyant. Yet has ultimate rizz. Doesn't even realise he has rizz, he's a fucking idiot-

- Somewhat looks more like Chazz. Hilariously. Yet has more of Kore's enthusiasm and her life filled eyes. Probably will cause arson though.

- No filter. Says the most outlandish, borderline horrific down bad shit your poor ears have ever heard.

- Bisexual??? Somewhat woman leaning.

- Fave ice cream: HAH. He lactose intolerant like Kore....likes a lot of sorbet tho. Mainly lemon or lime flavoured desserts.

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This is all of my rambling I will croak now if anemia doesn't do it-

[gretchensinister]

20 questions for fic writers

Thank you @marypsue for tagging me!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

732 oh gosh it needs to have text next to it to not show up giant

2. What’s your total word count?

1,316,095 aha you can tell most of my fics are short

3. What fandoms do you write for?

What I am currently preoccupied with is The Dark Crystal/The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance. The vast majority of my fics are for Rise of the Guardians, and I have one fairly substantial fic each for Thor and Venom.

4. Top 5 fics by kudos

Give You Everything, not surprised about this one, it's Eddie/Venom and I published it a little less than four months after Venom came out in theaters. 2. Single Snowflakes, this one is a surprise? It's barely over 1K, T for subject matter, Bunny/Jack where Jack talks about past trauma with Bunny. I wouldn't have written it except that this was part of my project to fill every prompt on Round 1 of the Rise of the Guardians Dreamwidth kinkmeme. I guess it resonated with people??? 3. How Old? Another Bunny/Jack fic, G-rated and very short. 4. What it Means to Ask, yet ANOTHER Bunny/Jack fic, G-rated, but about how serious the concept of being a "mate" is in Pooka culture. How Old? was also related to that. 5. Down and Dirty-a wrestling-type fight between Jack and Bunny turns into sex.

What have we learned? The Jackrabbit fans, they are legion.

5. Do you respond to comments?

For the past several years, yes, pretty much always. Back in 2012 when I was just starting to post on Ao3, I was like unto a nervous deer and sometimes didn't respond. But I did print out all the comments on Without Contraries There Is No Progression (Pitch/Sandy that got me writing big complete things) and put them on my fridge at the time. It helped me get my master's degree.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

The one that comes to the top of my head is Warmer Than I Thought. Jack's dying because he just didn't have enough believers when he became a Guardian. He's not going to come back with continuity of self. Pitch is there to offer him some scant comfort as he goes.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I mostly write happy endings, honestly, but the honor of the most happy and resolved ending goes to His Time, which is chronologically the last fic in my Rise of the Guardians Apotheosis AU. It's a far-distant future, OT8, everyone is together and essentially the pantheon of a new planet they made after Earth is gone due to the expansion of the sun. They are trying to make it go well this time, and so far succeeding.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

The closest thing to hate I ever got was on my explicit Thorki fic...from a person complaining about how much I had Thor and Loki talk to each other.

9. Do you write smut?

I write a lot of explicit sex, yes.

10. Do you write crossovers?

I've written a fair number in my prompt-fill project, but it's not something I'm drawn to write.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I've never known about any of my fics being stolen.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Someone talked to me about translating one of my fics and I was very excited and I said yes. However I don't know what came of that because things happened and I fell out of communication with the potential translator. Maybe they finished it and I don't know about it!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, and I don't think I would, unless it was part of a strictly structured event/project.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Well, it's Pitch Black/Sandman. Conceptually, the ships I'm drawn to have ties to dichotomies of dark/light, good/evil, cosmic opposites kind of thing. Pitch and Sandy, as personifications of nightmares and dreams, were a perfect vessel for that obsession.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

I told my friends, "I'm not going to rewrite The Phantom of the Opera." And I'm not. But there's a version of PotO that I wanted that uh, isn't what any of the big official versions gave me. So I started writing and I have 49,615 words so far. If I don't find a way to finish it I think I will end up posting it as something permanently unfinished, because there's a lot that I like in it now.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I have been told in a real graduate writing workshop that I have good dialogue. I also like to think I'm pretty good at sensory descriptions.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

The things I find extremely difficult are endings and like, plots where things happen--I want so badly to write a big complicated Space Empire story but like. How is does political intrigue? (This house is FEELINGS ONLY.)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

I don't think I'd ever do it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Almost certainly Dragonball Z. If all goes well, my friend and I may have the chance to excavate some of my old notebooks during the holidays and then--it's archive time and that is a threat.

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

It's A Draught of Light, which I love as it is, and for proving that I could write an alternate-world epic fantasy novel as long as I didn't like, admit that's what I was doing. I do admit though that I have an edited version that takes it farther away from being fanfic that I like even better. Maybe I should, hmm, start taking steps to making that version available, if you understand what I mean.

Who do I know writing out there that hasn't been tagged yet? @queerpyracy, @purplebloodedmajesty, @incurablenecromantic

[queerofthedagger]

Do you have some Sandman fic recs? I only just started going through them but I could use some guidance and I trust your taste.

Hey nonnie, absolutely do I have recs!! ❤️

Most of these are Dream/Hob, and I tried not to go overboard - if you do want more, you're more than welcome to hit me up, or check out my AO3 bookmarks for the show. All of these are completed, and while they aren't sorted in any particular order, the first three are my top faves <3

In the arms of Morpheus | Dans les bras de Morphée. by aalisse [Dream/Hob | 12 320 | Teen | no warnings]

Attraction to Dream of the Endless comes to Hob in a form of a slow, simmering fire. At times it burns brighter, other times it calms until it’s barely noticeable. It never goes away fully, partially because Hob doesn’t want it to. His companion is the embodiment of hope and dreaming. It would be sacrilege to give up hope in being wanted by him. _____ Death comes for a raven, and finds her brother. He doesn't ask her for help, but prevents her possible entrapment, so she finds Hob Gadling and suggests he do something about the situation at hand. Cue a one man resque mission in 1926, which leads to dozens of years of platonic, yet vaguely romantic dating both in the waking world and in the Dreaming.

an immortal's guide to contrition by trellomonkey [Dream/Hob | 6 619 | Teen | no warnings]

“I’ll win him over,” he says, resolute. “I’ll woo him.” In 1889, Hob Gadling has a falling out with his friend. He spends the next century coming up with a way to make it up to him.

King of Infinite Space by Banhus [Dream/Hob | 15 865 | Mature | no warnings]

In which Hob has a spate of odd nightmares, a collection of strays, a student with an unusual knack, and a very weird fall semester.

Hope and Stubbornness Endure by icarus_chained [Dream/Hob | 14 028 | Mature | Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings]

There are consequences to being caught in nightmares not your own, in the tormented memories of beings infinitely more powerful than you. Hob Gadling doesn't care. Nightmares can't kill him. And if this was ever real, he has no choice but to try and fight it now. To show ... to show his friend that he would have rescued him. If he'd known. He would have tried, no matter what it cost.

Heat Wave by spqr [Dream/Hob | 6 689 | Explicit | no warnings]

“Sounds like you’re horny to me,” says Matthew.

how real hunger has a real taste by ThirdActLove [Dream/Hob | 3 045 | Mature | no warnings]

Dream has one hand on the glass door, one foot almost in the Dreaming, when Hob calls out. “Wait.”

Spite (Is As Good A Reason As Any) by Blue_Sunshine [Dream & Hob, Hob & Johanna Constantine | 24 695 | G/A | no warnings]

Hob has a bone to pick with (Dream of the Endless) and damn if he isn't going to find the bastard to have it out. ~~ The White Horse Inn is officially condemned in 2009 and Hob, twenty years after being stood up, decides that he's not going to let that be the last word. ~~ Or, ten years before Paul Maguire either finally loses his nerve (or gains it, perhaps), Hob Gadling and Johanna Constantine become unlikely partners on a seemingly ill-fated search for an immortal man who never actually gave his only friend his name.

the perils of inebriation by Lilibet [Dream/Hob | 1 372 | G/A | no warnings]

Lesson number one: don’t try and keep pace with an immortal being when drinking. Spoiler: Hob fails at lesson number one.

Crystal Vision by clintorisbarton [Dream/Hob | 11 239 | Explicit | no warnings]

Hob Gadling's life, from the moment he meets Dream to the moment he meets Dream.

[some-messed-up-writing-for-you]

Master Post + Basic Info

Come check me out on Wattpad!

I'm on Quotev too, take a look!

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Requests are currently closed! ❌

You can use my Short Prompts in your own writing. Just please credit me by linking to the original prompt. (You can also tag me! I love reading the stuff you guys come up with!👀)

I'm fine with all pronouns! he/she/they/it. Neo and archaic ones too! Give me a pronoun based on whatever vibe I give off to you. (:

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✨Stories under the cut!✨

Story 1 [NSFW] [Finished]

Summary: Villian spending some quality time/playing with their pet Hero.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 |

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Story 2 [NSFW] [Might continue]

Summary: Hero awakes confused and blindfolded and is in for a not-so-pleasant surprise.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 |

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Story 3 [Finished]

Summary: A team of heroes, including Hero and Sidekick, escaping from Villain’s lair.

Part 1 | Part 2 |

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Story 4 [NSFW] [Might continue]

Summary: Villain kidnapping Hero, drugging them, and taking advantage of them.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 |

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Story 5 [NSFW] [Finished]

Summary: Villain is a bottom, and his monster boyfriend Right Hand likes to play rough.

Part 1 | Part 2 |

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Story 6 [NSFW] [Finished]

Summary: Henchman gets fed up with Villain and decides to cook up a plan so that they can be in control for once and not their boss.

Part 1 | Part 2 |

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Story 7 [NSFW] [Finished]

Summary: Villain kidnaps Hero and tortures them, not realizing Hero is into it.

Part 1 | Part 2 |

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Story 8 [Might continue]

Summary: Villain has a cute little secret, and Supervillain finds out.

Part 1 | Part 2 |

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Story 9 [Might continue]

Summary: Supervillain breaks into the house of Superhero and Second Superhero and kidnaps their child Hero.

Part 1 | Part 2 |

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Story 10 [Ongoing]

Summary: Vampire Villain corners Civilian in a dark alleyway.

Part 1 | Part 2 |

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Story 11 [Ongoing]

Summary: Hero, who is the chosen one regrets capturing, and trapping Villain, the Dark Lord, and tries to fix things.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 |

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Story 12 [Might continue]

Summary: Civilian gets kidnapped and sacrificed to Villain, except things go differently than Civilian had expected they would.

Part 1 | Part 2 |

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Story 13 [NSFW] [Currently being rewritten]

"Lucky Number 13"

Summary: A year has passed since the inhuman monster known as Supervillain took over the country, and Servant has the misfortune(?) of catching their eye.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

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Story 14 [Finished]

Summary: In a land where a new person takes over the throne every other day, Servant finds themself kneeling before their new ruler, Supervillain.

Part 1 | Part 2 |

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Story 15 [Might continue]

Summary: Villain has a crush on Civilian, who owns a donut shop down the street, and Other Villain finds the whole thing very amusing.

Part 1 | Part 2 |

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Story 16 [Might continue]

Summary: As Superhero gets captured by Supervillain, Hero scrambles to get away, but things refuse to go their way.

Part 1 | Part 2 |

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Story 17 [Finished]

Summary: After years of fighting, Supervillain has finally managed to capture their nemesis, Superhero, but a horrible surprise turns their dream into a nightmare.

Part 1 | Part 2 |

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Story 18 [Ongoing]

Summary: Hero and Villain decide to sneak into their partner's, Supervillain's bedroom. Things don't go as planned.

Part 1 | Part 2 |

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Story 19 [Finished]

Summary: Hero tries to kill Villain, but Supervillain comes to the rescue.

Part 1 | Part 2 |

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Story 20 [Ongoing]

Summary: Civilian find's themself in the wrong place at the wrong time and gets captured and interrogated by a dangerous group.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 |

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Story 21 [Ongoing]

Summary: Picked from the many worshippers of an old god, Human is chosen as their Master's next companion. They will spend their life tending to their god's wishes, getting anything they desire in return.

Part 1 | Part 2 |

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Story 22 [Ongoing]

Summary: After accidentally breaking an ancient mirror, a woman finds herself haunted by a mysterious creature. The beast follows her day and night, but answers are only found back in the basement.

Part 1 | Part 2 |

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Story 23 [Ongoing]

"Floral Affections"

Summary: You are a simple gardener working for the local Lord, but manage to catch his not-so-human eye. Luckily, his colorful beauty is equally captivating to you. Where will this mutual interest lead the two of you?

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 |

[baby-bear10]

Fun things from my Haikyuu 2020 Lockdown fic "Destination Permanent Vacation" that just make sense: (warning, spoilers ahead)

1) Oikawa and Hinata gossiping about Iwaizumi and Kageyama in Spanish incase someone overhears them (Hinata learnt Spanish and Portuguese)

2) That one scene where Sakuatsu shower together for convenience but then it happens again once they start dating and Sakusa doesn't try and stand on the opposite side of the shower because the whole point of a shower is to clean so he doesn't have to worry about germs and Atsumu loves it because Sakusa helps him with his lotions and covers his eyes for him when he gets the shampoo out and basically it's like one of the few occasions that Sakusa actually shows affection for his boyfriend.

3) The star patterned canopy over Iwaoi's four poster bed to calm Oikawa down so he doesn't get nightmares (there's leds in it as well so it twinkles)

4) Suga and Yaku dad-dancing in the kitchen to 80s music

5) Them also acting like ott European mum stereotypes. "food! he needs food!" "do you need money?" "go outside! get sunlight!" "i baked this just for you!" "come, help me bake!" "how are you, my child!" "my mother's recipe!" (i have a European mum btw) *walks around the house eating tomatoes with salt* "do you want prunes?" "my mum used to make-"

6) Oikawa and Kenma becoming besties because Oikawa's jet lagged and Kenma's nocturnal and their platonic love language is roasting the shit out of each other and calling each other out on cap

7) All of the pro players practise together and Iwaizumi is brutal with training but afterwards he pampers the heck out of Oikawa and lets him stop for a break as soon as his knee starts hurting

8) Daisuga are cringey domestic parents I do not take criticism

9) Suga does online zoom lessons so Daichi builds him a work zone in their room

10) The entire pretty setter squad refer to Iwaizumi's exgirlfriend as a puta

11) When Iwaizumi dumps her for being toxic, Makki and Mattsun get out a Bluetooth speaker and a phone and play Toxic by Britney Spears and it's so funny that Iwa aint even mad tho

12) Iwa follows it up by calling the ex a puta

13) Iwa trauma-proofed the room that he shares with Kawa.

14) Iwa kisses the homies Oikawa goodnight

15) Terushima feels lonely because people only ever want to date him for his looks

16) Kyoutani struggles with social cues

17) Yaku calls Oikawa 'Mr Whinypants' until chapter 12 when he finds out about Oikawa's past and feels bad for him and starts being nicer

18) Because of Oikawa's past, he's selectively mute and really struggles to talk after an attack. Being mute really annoys him so he usually cuddles up to someone he deems safe until he feels better.

19) Because of how long Oikawa spent in Argentina, he struggles more with Japanese than Spanish when he gets his ability to speak back.

20) Iwaizumi makes Little Mermaid references to cheer Oikawa up when he's struggling with his mutism

21) Suga catches on and sings under the sea but it sounds like... well we've seen the internet.

23) Lev calls Yaku lyubimyy which is a Russian term of endearment that means turtledove and it annoys Yaku to no end until they clear up what happened in Moscow

24) All of the bilingual people call Kenma kitten because they don't think he'll know but he catches on and claims he hates it but actually he loves it

25) Kenma's afab genderfluid

26) Kenma has an iron deficiency and the team parents baby the heck out of him over it

arts27) Kuroo and Kenma have the biggest room so they can both have computer set-ups in there.

28) Sometimes, if Kenma's sleeping during the day, Kuroo will work on his laptop instead of a computer so he can stay next to him because Kenma likes holding Kuroo's hand in his sleep.

29) Hinata and Kageyama sleep with a pillow wall but they always manage to wake up curled together anyway

30) Tsukishima and Yamaguchi do their working from home sitting up on their bed side by side and they take it in turns to get snack and drink refills.

31) Osamu gets annoyed at the fact that the team mums seem to be doing all of the cooking so he sets a stupidly early alarm so he can go down to the kitchen and cook and Suna helps him so Suga and Daichi just walk into the kitchen one morning and omg why is the oven on- Oh hi. Suga just laughs at the confusion and tells Osamu about the "staff kitchen" that have because it's such a big house so Osamu gets his own kitchen and ends up setting up an Onigiri Miya home base and the driveway is constantly filled with delivery drivers doing deliveroos and uber eats.

32) After chapter 12, Tendou opens up to Oikawa about their similar experiences in private but Ushiwaka overhears and he approaches Tendou afterwards and offers to help him with it like Iwaizumi does for Oikawa.

33) Makki dyes Kyoutani's hair bright pink to force him into talking to Terushima

34) Kenma refuses to call him Mad Dog

35) Kuroo realised years ago that Kenma likes it when he babies them so he constantly calls them cute nicknames like Prince and Princess and talks to them like a child and Kenma secretly loves it

36) Daichi and Sugawara jokingly act like a 50's married couple from an old film and some people think it's weird and toxic but it's not actually serious and both of them enjoy it so where's the harm?

37) Kenma can't get changed in front of other people (not even Kuroo)

38) Kuroo gives Kenma "platonic" forehead kisses when they're panicky or struggling with their anxiety.

39) Iwaizumi knows a little bit of Spanish. He knows the basics (introductions, greetings, colours, numbers, days of the week) and how to flirt with Oikawa. He calls him princesa and mi amor and it drives Oikawa crazy.

40) The team moms also know how much Kenma likes childish things and they take it in turns to sit with them and watch Disney films.

[reidology]

Dying in a bathtub - Hotchreid

Summary: Hotch gets nightmares and hides in the tub, so Spencer makes it comfy for him <3

Word count: 4.4k

Content warning: discussion and description of nightmares, smut, brief description of physical abuse, light angst, quite fluffy, happy ending <3

AO3

__________________________________________

The first time it happened Spencer woke up shivering, the cold of a missing body beside him seeped through the sheets chilled his bones. He braved a lazy glance to his bedside, squinting to see the alarm clock blinking big and aggressive red numbers. 05:25. Aaron must have gone out for a morning run, something Spencer never understood. In fact, his reasoning of ‘why run, when sleep?’ whenever Aaron attempted to get him to join always earned him an affectionate eye roll and kiss on the cheek, so why would he ever give that up? No promise of endless coffee can get Spencer Reid to wake up before 7am, much less for exercise.

Reluctantly the sleepy man made his way to the bathroom, knowing he might as well shower and get ready for work now, there’s no way he could get back to sleep without his human furnace of a boyfriend covering him completely. Only, through his grogginess he failed to notice the boyfriend-shaped body softly snoring in the tub.

So he padded over to the semi-closed shower curtain and blearily reached in to turn the water on for it to heat up while he got ready.

Almost as soon as the water turned on, a high-pitched shriek assaulted the young agent’s eardrums. Spencer did what, in his opinion, any caught-off-guard fully trained FBI agent would do— he squealed in shock and fell back on his ass. A moment later the shower curtain pulled back, revealing a very irritated -and very wet- Aaron Hotchner.

“Babe what the fuck,” the older man whined, wringing out his shirt and turning the freezing water off, “I was sleeping!”

“Oh this is my fault?!”

“Yes! Couldn’t you see me?!”

“I just woke up!”

“Me too!” Aaron pointed to his wet shirt as if to say you have no excuse for this.

Spencer let out a frustrated sigh and pushed himself up from the floor. Somehow he upset his boyfriend, he guesses apologies are on the table. He carefully stepped into the bathtub to face his dripping boyfriend and wrapped his arms around the soaking man’s neck, “I’m sorry,” he pouted quite prettily, “But honey, why were you sleeping in the tub?”

“I didn’t sleep in the tub. I went to sleep in our bed, then you woke me up in the tub.” Aaron grumbled.

Spencer thought Aaron looked positively insane. His eyes focused on the older man’s pupils as his hands checked for a fever.

“Do you have a concussion?” He couldn’t help but fret about the man who is usually so well put together. He was obviously in distress though what kind of distress completely eluded the dry man. Aaron waved Spencer’s worried hands away from his face, “No. Spence, I’m telling you, I didn’t sleep in the bathtub.”

“Then how did you get here?”

Aaron shrugged and swatted Spencer’s nosy hands away that were trying to inspect the grumpy man for any injuries, “Who knows? Let’s get some breakfast.” He calmly stepped out of the tub and headed out, leaving Spencer confused (for once).

“... But it’s 5 am.”

_____

Two nights later, it happened again. But this time Spencer awoke to the sound of sobbing. His heart just about broke in two at the sight of Aaron curled in on himself in the porcelain tub, shaking and covered in sweat.

The Unit Chief used to have terrors most nights. After Foyet, all of life’s problems seemed to unravel in his dreams. The sounds and images were so vivid that upon waking up he believed he had done what he’d dreamed. That he’d hurt his family or that Foyet had come back to finish the job.

During hard cases, Aaron would forgo sleep completely, knowing his mind would only haunt him with terror beyond his conscious capabilities. It left him exhausted and agitated for the rest of the investigation. The team and LEOs got frustrated but none had the guts to confront him, except for one young agent who took special notice of his boss.

So Spencer stepped in, and after weeks of getting closer and learning more about each other than they had in the past five years of working together, Aaron digressed and accepted the help that was offered. The following three months ensued so smoothly, the therapy was helping and Aaron couldn’t believe he was sleeping full nights again. He knew it was all thanks to Spencer, who had taken up a very special place in his heart. Aaron knew that Spencer would always be there when he woke up, like an anchor. Something real to hold on to and keep him in place.

It had been a while since Aaron had such a bad episode, luckily Spencer knew just what to do and jumped right into action. Without missing a beat, the younger man climbed into the tub and sat by Aaron’s head, taking hold of one of his white-knuckled fists and gently coaxing it open by rubbing his thumbs from the palm to the back of the hand. Constant pressure, soothing, real. With one hand he threaded his fingers through the brunette’s damp hair, stroking softly at his scalp, willing his nightmare mind to latch onto the familiar touch.

“It’s okay, you’re safe.” He murmured sweetly like a mantra.

Eventually Aaron’s panicked sobs dissolved into pained whimpers, his body lost some of its tension, allowing for Spencer to gently lift his boyfriend’s head into his lap and off the hard floor of the tub. The whimpers died down to light trembles and Spencer shushed him comfortingly, continuing to sooth him with gentle strokes to his head. Slowly Aaron’s eyes opened and Spencer felt the moment panic set in. The taller man’s breathing quickened and tension returned to his body, frozen in fear. God, Spencer should have turned the lights on.

“It’s just me, darling. You’re home, Aaron. This is home. You’re safe.”

Aaron trembled more, his eyes glazed over as if reliving the nightmare, “Shhh you’re safe.”

Spencer placed a feathery kiss on his boyfriend’s forehead that seemed to anchor him immediately. Tentatively, Aaron looked up at his rescuer, relieved to be in his lover's arms and away from the nightmare universe that had felt so real. He burrowed further into Spencer’s lap, wrapped his shaking arms around his boyfriend’s steady hips. He tried to focus on Spencer’s heartbeat in an attempt to regulate his own. Spencer was warm, Spencer was safe. Always safe.

“Foyet?” Spencer asked cautiously, breath fanning over the older’s forehead. Aaron stilled at the name then nodded. The younger man knows that Aaron needs to talk about it immediately, even if it’s terrifying. It allows him to discern dreams from reality, so that the events and sensations of the night terror don’t ingrain themselves into the man’s memories of reality .

“... and Scratch,” Aaron gulped, “They had Jack. I couldn’t... I didn’t know what was real. Couldn’t tell if it was really Jack. He made me hurt him. Oh god, Spence… I hurt him.” Sobs wracked the pained man’s body once again, unable to forget the horror of the dream. Spencer rocked them back and forth.

“Shh… Jack is fine, he’s at Jess’s. You would never hurt him, Aaron.”

Aaron was spent, he couldn’t muster up the energy to talk. He fell asleep once more in his partner’s comforting hold.

_____

The next morning they woke up with aching muscles from being in the bathtub for so long. Spencer couldn’t help but be worried about his boyfriend. There was definitely something going on, and though he respected Aaron’s privacy immensely, he was afraid of the older man getting into a dangerous situation. Was he sleepwalking to the bathroom? What if he tripped and hit his head on the edge of the tub? But most importantly, why were Aaron’s nightmares leading him to the bathtub?

Spencer nuzzled Aaron’s neck in an effort to wake him up a bit more. “Darling, we need to talk about this.” The worry in Spencer’s voice was audible and prompted Aaron to sit up and sigh deeply. He didn’t think this part of his life would ever come back up to the surface, he’d avoided thinking about it for decades and he didn’t know what triggered the habit to resurface. But now it’s affected Spencer, and he knew he couldn’t keep the love of his life in the dark, but some things were so hard to talk about.

Aaron found himself panicking again, flashes of Foyet and his father clouding his mind once more. Images of Sean taking cover in Aaron’s arms while their father pounds on the bathroom door-

“I know. I-” He was cut off with the sweetest kiss.

“You can take your time sweetheart. No rush.”

Even at this stage in their relationship, Aaron wasn’t used to being treated so well. The kindness that naturally radiated off his boyfriend was enough to make his insides melt, the understanding words never ceased to choke him up. But he knew Spencer would be there to put him back together once he gave him all his pieces. He buried his face in the younger’s neck, breathing in the scent of his shampoo, relaxing into his hold. Spencer wrapped his arms around Aaron’s lean form, offering a safe space. Aaron had never been this vulnerable with anyone before his relationship with Spencer.

After a moment of just holding each other, Aaron’s breathing mellowed out and his voice cracked as he explained everything.

“After Sean was born, my dad started drinking. He’d always been somewhat aggressive, scary even. He- he’d get angry and take it out on my mom… and if she wasn’t there... But when he started drinking it got a thousand times worse. I vowed to myself to protect Sean at all costs, I promised him I would never let our dad get to him. So I took the brunt of it when he was sober. But when he was drunk… he would chase us, try to get to Sean specifically. He was just a little kid 5 or 6, I was 15. He would scour the house to find Sean so I took him and locked us in the only room in the house with a lock… the bathroom. I’d carry Sean in my arms and make a run for it. I blocked off the door with a cabinet and we sat in the tub until he passed out.. My dad couldn’t get in but he would pound on the door so loudly, his voice was so angry-”

Aaron inhaled hard, the grip on the back of Spencer’s shirt tightened and his breathing shallowed. Spencer continued rubbing soothing circles on his back, allowing Aaron to take his time.

“The bathtub was the only safe space for Sean and I. We spent whole nights in there, waiting for my dad to pass out. Sometimes we’d tell stories, play games, but other times we cried and I covered his ears with my hands, not wanting him to hear the horrible things our dad was saying. This went on until I went to college, I tried to take Sean with me but my mother wouldn’t allow it. My dad died a year later, when Sean was 9.

“I- because of that, if any of us had nightmares we’d go into the bathroom and sleep in the tub, because no one could get to us in there.”

Aaron swallowed thickly and timidly looked up to the honey-haired man. Had he sounded pathetic?

But Spencer cupped his cheek once again and kissed him lovingly.

“Thank you for telling me. You’re the strongest person I know, Aaron. I'm sorry you had to go through all of that.”

Aaron’s heart skipped a beat, warmth spreading through his chest. He swallowed down all his uncertainties and let Spencer in, he was proud of himself. Both of them yawned in succession, still exhausted from last night and uncomfortable from sleeping in the bathtub.

With a cheeky grin the younger man announced, “Let’s go to bed, I’ll get us the day off.” Aaron was so grateful.

While he called in sick, Spencer had an idea, and he knew just who to call.

_____

“Boy Wonder! How wonderful to hear from you on this frabjous day! We miss you and the Bossman dearly. We are definitely… working. Work is happening, and we’re doing it, and it’s getting done. You can trust me on that. Definitely no piñatas in the break room, where would we even find one on such short notice? Emily doesn’t even know where to get balloons! Anyway, what magical service may I bestow upon thee today, my little lord?”

Spencer bit back a chuckle, “Hi Penelope. Listen I need some advice on… interior decorating-”

Immediately, he got cut off by a squeal, “I’m on my way!”

“No! Garcia- after work-”

The line goes flat.

“Dammit. I should’ve just texted JJ.”

_____

Despite her best efforts, the rest of the team did not let Penelope leave the BAU for a ‘design emergency’. Fortunately for Spencer, that gave him some time to plan what he wanted to do while cooking lunch for his sleeping beauty.

After a full meal of soup and grilled cheese, Hotch retreated to the living room hoping to watch some History Channel with Spencer. They love watching the conspiracy shows together and debunking the awful propositions. Though Hotch learned quite surprisingly that Spencer is very open to the idea of aliens on Earth. However, he has a suspicion that that’s mostly wishful thinking on the part of Spencer's inner child. Nevertheless, it’s adorable and Hotch was excited for it, and waiting patiently for Spencer to finish cleaning himself up.

Before he could question what was taking so long, their doorbell rang a sweet lullabye sound (they had to change it from the awful buzzing that it was- it was too overwhelming for Spencer). Not expecting any company, Hotch was puzzled as to who could be at their door.

“Who is it?” He spoke through the intercom.

“Bossman! Sorry to hear about your incurable case of Work Sickness! If you could let me up, I brought you some warm soup!-”

Spencer bounded through the foyer from the bedroom, practically hopping over furniture and knocking down a flower arrangement, “I got it! I got it!” he heaved frantically.

“Babe, what’s Garcia doing in front of our building on a weekday?”

“Nothing Aar don’t worry about it, Penelope and I are just going out for lunch, see you later!”

Spencer grabbed his satchel and was out the door.

“But- Spencer you just had lunch!” The curly haired man was already running down the steps, “Bye!”

It was Hotch’s turn to be left alone and confused.

_____

In Penelope’s car, Spencer explained his idea to Penelope, without going saying too much about Hotch’s nightmares. In true Penelope fashion, the bubbly bits-and-bobs connoisseur knew the perfect place to get what Spencer needed. Penelope dragged Spencer around the independently-owned home goods boutique like a lost puppy for about two hours. She ended up with more bags for herself and Sergio than what Spencer needed.

A few texts and one missed call from Hotch wondering what the hell was taking Spencer so long prompted them to leave. Spencer thanked Penelope in front of their apartment and air kissed her goodbye, promising to show up at girl’s night next week..

Spencer walks into the foyer as quietly as possible and hides the bags behind the living room’s entertainment center.

“Spencer?”

“Yeah! I’m home!”

Aaron walked out of their bedroom with a soft smile. His round glasses were on, meaning he’s been reading… or looking at case files.

“Are you going through the case?” Spencer scolded.

The bespectacled man didn’t waver. “There’s something the victim’s parents said that doesn’t add up, they said that every Thursday Mandy went to soccer practice after school and swim practice in the next town over in the evenings. She takes the bus so if the unsub was stalking her he’d either have to take the same bus and risk getting caught or have a car- which goes against our age profile- so that would mean there’s someone driving him. Spencer, there are TWO unsu-” He was cut off by being pulled into a kiss. He hummed into it and wrapped his arms around Spencer’s slender waist, pulling them closer together. When they pulled apart Spencer whispered “Two unsubs. The team knows, they’re working on it. You-” he tapped his finger on the older’s chin for emphasis, “need to relax today.”

The resulting pretty pout was swiftly kissed away. None of that now.

“But I don’t know how to relax. I’m Aaron Hotchner, stoic as a statue, stern glare extraordinaire, Mr. Emotionless…”

Spencer rolled his eyes and trailed his hands down Aaron’s hard chest, “I know how to make you relax…” The other man grinned “Oh is that right?” Spencer smirked and led his boyfriend to the couch.

_____

That night when Aaron was gone to bed, Spencer quietly retrieved the bags from behind the TV and set his plan in motion.

_____

He’s trembling. And he can’t recognize his own thoughts, he can’t think straight, all he can see is his son- and Haley with terror written all over their faces.

He barely registers the sound of Jack’s wailing because, as if from right behind his ear, he hears a voice that he interprets as his own thought ‘shoot him’.

‘What?’

‘Pull the trigger’

He looks back up to his sobbing, terrified son, and without hesitation- click- BOOM-

Aaron bolted up from the bed, gasping for breath. His eyes darted around the dark. Jack? Where is he- Jack ohmygod-

His vision landed on Spencer’s sleeping form, breathing shallowly and folded into himself like a pretzel, sleeping soundly like an angel. Spencer. Real. Safe. He took a deep breath to regulate his heart. In for 4, hold, out for 6, repeat. This was exhausting.

Groggily, Aaron slipped out from under the covers and headed to the bathroom to get a drink of water and maybe splash his face a little. He thought of getting into the bathtub for the comfort he desperately needed right now, but he’d be embarrassed if Spencer found him in there again. Who does that? But nothing could have prepared Aaron for the sight before him when he opened the door.

Lights. Yellow, green, purple electric lights on strings, illuminating the room in a beautiful calming glow. They were suspended from the curtain rod of the bathtub, taped to the walls. Gorgeously scented candles perched on the sink, some on the ground, a few tea lights lining the edge of the tub. It smelled glorious and comforting and Aaron couldn’t tell what it was. Pine? Sandalwood? Campfire?

The most breath-taking part was the inside of the bathtub. Patterned sheets hung from the walls and draped over to form a delicate roof. Fluffy pillows perfectly laid out to coat every inch of the porcelain interior, and soft blankets piled on top for added comfort. Lights lined the inside of the sheet tent as well, it looked fantastical. Like something out of a book.

Aaron was floored, to say the least. Was this what Spencer had been doing today? He was flooded by a new emotion, something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. Spencer had done all of this for him? To make him feel safe?

He was still standing just barely in the room, taking everything in and getting emotional when he heard soft footsteps behind him and felt Spencer’s long arms slink around his waist. A chin hooked over his shoulder and a kiss was pressed to his neck.

“Are you alright? Did you have a nightmare?”

Aaron nodded, “You did all this… for me?” A tinge of awe decorated his voice.

“Yeah,” his boyfriend whispered back, “So you don’t hurt yourself when you sleep in here.”

Aaron felt stupid for ever thinking his wonderful, thoughtful boyfriend would ever feel embarrassed by him. Of course Spencer took everything he admitted seriously, of course Spencer cared about what he’s been through, Spencer cares… that's what he’s been feeling. Taken care of. Important. For once in his life, he feels like he’s allowed to let himself be loved.

The stunned man seemed to be frozen in place, not knowing how to respond. His mind was overwhelmed with love for his boyfriend. Spencer pulled away and grabbed the older’s hands, Aaron let himself be led to the makeshift fort.

They climbed in together, careful not to knock over any of the burning candles. Spencer settled on one end of the tub and pulled Aaron into him before he could even think of not cuddling with him. He made space with his legs for his boyfriend to settle between, chest pressed to back, arms wrapped around his love. Safe, warm, and comfortable in a sea of cushions like twin yolks in a shell.

Laying here, in his lover's arms, surrounded by low tranquil lights, and the gentle rise and fall of Spencer’s chest, Aaron felt as serene as he’d ever been. Spencer slid warm hands under Aaron’s shirt, bringing one up to rest cozily on his heart. Aaron turned his head and nuzzled further into Spencer’s neck, feeling the familiar tingle of the man’s touch and murmured a low hum of approval.

Spencer’s other hand, that wasn’t on Aaron’s heart, was used to tip the taller man’s chin up to look at him.

“I know what it’s like to be afraid of your own mind,” he cooed, “sometimes it’s impossible to take yourself out of that world. But in our home, Aaron, I want you to feel safe and protected at all times. I want you to be vulnerable and unashamed. You’re free to be everything you are in here, and I hope that you feel you can be everything you are with me, too.”

Aaron lost himself in his partner’s deep gaze, glorious hazel eyes boring into him. Completely enamored by the words spoken to him, all he could do was nod and lick his lips, trying to regulate his heart rate for a completely different reason now. Spencer had never been so… authoritative before and his sincere but stern tone sent thrilling sparks down his spine. A blush rose up his neck.

Spencer tracked the slow movement of Aaron’s tongue sliding over his bottom lip, and didn’t fight the impulse to drag his thumb over it. “You’re always safe with me.” He barely whispered before angling his head down to catch those lips in a languid kiss. Aaron sighed into it, waiting a little while before pushing himself up to fix their awkward angle. He positioned them so that Spencer was laid down flat on his back, allowing Aaron to lay between his legs once more, chest to chest. They tangled themselves in each other, lips colliding again like a match to a box, igniting a fire in the both of them.

Both were still tired from waking up in the middle of the night, but the desire coursing through their bodies was a more pressing matter. Spencer lifted his hands to frame his lover’s neck and wrapped his legs loosely around his waist, inviting Aaron to grind down onto him, both already half hard from the anticipation. Spencer groaned into Aaron’s mouth. A sound that went right to Aaron’s dick.

They explored each other’s bodies with a youthful novelty, eager to feel more skin. Never once pulling their lips apart. Aaron slipped his hands under Spencer’s shirt and shoved it up under his arms, digging his fingers into those delicious hips. Finally he broke away from the kiss to pepper the younger’s face with sweet ones. Aaron’s heart grew three sizes at Spencer’s soft giggles and let out a low laugh of his own. How ridiculous were they, making out like teenagers in a bathtub fort? Neither much cared to answer that question though, because the impatient genius bucked his hips up to meet his boyfriend’s, who was still in his boxers, let’s get those off.

Spencer eagerly reached for Aaron’s underwear and palmed at his bulge just until he heard that impatient sound from him. He pulled the man’s cock out now fully hard and dripping with precum. A groan escaped the both of them at the sight and sensation. They wasted no time in getting Spencer out of his nerdy physics flannel pajama pants, and grinded their dicks together. Lighting sparked right through the both of them, Aaron balanced himself on one arm near Spencer’s head and took both of their lengths into his right hand.

The rub of their slick cocks together was spectacular as Aaron kept a slow and steady pace, making sure to draw out all the best sounds he knew Spencer could make by nipping at his neck, where he knew the younger man was ticklish. Spencer whined at the excruciating pace, turning into a desperate whimpering mess. Making Spencer wait was so fun.

Spencer’s hands find grip in Aaron’s short hair, keeping him close, feeling the pull of Aaron's big hand on his dick and grinding up to meet him. It’s intoxicating bliss, being taken over the edge by the man he loves.

Their worlds minimized to just the slide of their cocks and the lips on their skin. The whimpering man felt the familiar build up in his abdomen, moaning freely now as he chased his orgasm, guiding Aaron’s hand with his own to feel his touch everywhere.

“Yeah baby,” Aaron encouraged, his own orgasm coming on quickly, “Cum for me baby.”

Spencer sputtered his release over both of their hands and stomachs, momentarily suspended in the intense bliss of his orgasm. He laid there spent, feeling like putty in Aaron’s hands, and pulled him down for a passionate kiss. He took his lover’s cock in hand and pumped him quickly, thumbing the head of his dick on each upstroke. Aaron came with a groan and a shudder, his arms gave out. They laid there catching their breaths for a while, ignoring the drying stickiness between them and tracing slow patterns on each other’s skin. They were so lucky to have each other.

“How are we going to shower now?” Aaron looked up and pouted.

“There’s a perfectly good sink just 5 feet away.” They laughed, Aaron pulled a blanket over them.

------------------------------------------------------

Taglist: @foxtrot91 @physics-magic @ssa-sarahsunshine @hearteyedhotch

[spencers-renaissance]

Fic Rec Bingo!!

So instead of Fic Rec Thursday, I thought I'd do something a little different this week and recommend 25 fics based on this bingo card (although it turned into 26, oops). I kept most of these as CM because that's my blog's focus, but due to the nature of the prompts, there are 5 Marvel (Irondad) ones & 1 Sherlock towards the end!

from @lightveils on twitter, but found posted on tumblr by @cywscross <3

1. A fic with a premise that shouldn't work but does

I never would've thought I'd enjoy a fic with Spencer as a little rebellious shit because it seems so ooc, but I loved this one!

las vegas kid by trashcanbarbie - 1.9k, 1ch, Gen/Aaron Hotchner & Spencer Reid, Gambling, Spencer Reid Needs a Hug, Young Spencer Reid, Teenage Rebellion, Protective Aaron hotchner, Pre-Canon, Father-Son Relationship, Teenage Spencer Reid

JJ raises her eyebrows, “so, you're trying to say counting cards isn't cheating?” “No,” he grins, boyish and charming, “it is.”

2. A fic you've reread several times

Discipline Changes by fullofcrazyness - 1.2k, 1ch, Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Hurt/Comfort, Past Child Abuse, Spencer Reid Needs a Hug, Comforting Hotch

Jack stopped and looked at his dad, finally seeing that his dad wasn’t actually angry. Concerned and relieved, but not angry. He was about to say something when he saw someone in the doorway, white as a sheet. “Papa?”

3. A comfort fic

i'm always tired, but never of you by @iamrenstark - 2.2k, 1ch, Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid, Hurt Spencer Reid, Angst with a Happy Ending, Sad Derek, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Spencer Reid Needs a Hug, Derek Morgan Needs a Hug, Men Crying, Gunshot Wounds, Blood and Injury

When Spencer figured it out, he was stepping out of the elevator on the bottom floor of Quantico, and he went to tell Derek he loved him like he did every day, but he froze up, because he was afraid he wouldn't hear it back. (Or, Spencer thinks his boyfriend is falling out of love with him.)

4. A cathartic fic

Every Little Transgression by @58thacademic - 1.6k, 1ch, Gen, Angst with a Happy Ending, Sad Spencer Reid, Protective David Ross, Protective Derek Morgan, Mentioned Suicide Attempt, Spencer's Backstory, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-Con, Spencer Reid Needs a Hug, Episode: s03e16 Elephant's Memory

Ok so. Elephants memory was really good because we got Reid backstory. But I'm still annoyed that he didn't defend himself against Hotch. So this was born.

5. A fic you'd print and put on your bookshelf

One Call Away by GhostInTheBAU - 204k, 32ch, Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid, Dubious Consent, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Domestic Violence, Rape Recovery, Referenced Past Drug Use, PTSD, Hurt Spencer Reid, Protective Aaron Hotchner, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Flashbacks, Healing, Nightmares, Suicidal Thoughts, Hurt/Comfort, Whump, Eventual Smut

When Reid's boyfriend attacks him, leaving him broken and bleeding, he calls the first person he thinks of for help. He calls the only person he really wants to see. He calls Hotch.

6. A fic you associate with a song

I associate this fic with The First Thing You See by Bruno Major. I think if you listen to the song, you'll easily see why <3

You Make Waking Up Worth It by @guccifloralsuits - 2.1k, 1ch, Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid, Fluff, Minor Angst, Established Relationship, Morning Routines, Hurt/Comfort, Good Things Happen Bingo

“Morning sweetheart,” Derek says, pausing briefly to ruffle his hand gently through Spencer’s hair. The genius nuzzles into the touch but doesn’t reply. It’s too early for conversation, Morgan knows. Pretty boy may get up earlier than he does, but it takes the younger a lot longer to really wake up.

7. A fic that inspires you

This fic could have been in so many categories because I adore it, but I wouldn't have started writing Rain is a Chance to be Touched without this fic so it definitely belongs here.

Forgive Me For All I Could Not Become by @degrassi-fanatic - 105k, 20ch, Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid, Canon Divergence, Getting Together, Angst, Case Fic, Confessions, Complicated Relationships, Near Death Experiences, Friends With Benefits, Smut, Miscommunication

In which Reid has always been good at hiding things. He hid his father's departure and his mother's illness from social services. He hid his addiction from his team. He hid his sexuality from the world. He hid his inappropriate feelings from his boss. That is until he's bleeding out in Hotch's arms, in an abandoned church, in Oklahoma. From there on out, Hotch and Reid learn to make a complete mess out of each other.

8. A fic that brought you on board a new ship

Even though it's unrequited, this was the first fic that really had me going !!! at Penemily <3

Another Wide-Eyed Girl by mallfacee - 2k, 1ch, Gen/Derek Morgan & Penelope Garcia, Penelope Garcia/Emily Prentiss (Unrequited), Coming Out, Internalised Homophobia, Derek Morgan is a Good Friend, Friendship, Gunshot Wounds, Episode: s03e08 Lucky

Derek Morgan is handsome and calls her “baby girl” and smiles at her like she’s the only girl in the room. Penelope Garcia knows she should be swooning and all she can think is that there must be something wrong with her not to react to a man like that giving her all this attention. Two years later she meets Emily Prentiss and understands.

9. A fic you wish could be a movie

Listen, I adore the soulmate trope, and an angsty moreid soulmate movie? Fucking sign me up right now

i need you now but i don't know you yet by @iamrenstark - 3.1k, 1ch, Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid, Hurt Spencer Reid, Hurt Derek Morgan, Mutual Pining, Soulmates, Hurt/Comfort, Buford Mention, Angst with a Happy Ending, Getting Together, Season 5

It goes like this; Spencer hasn't spoken to his soulmate since he was ten, didn't know their gender or their name or a single thing about them. Spencer's soulmate doesn't want him, and that's okay.

10. A fic that led to you making friends with the author

I'm doing two because fuck you that's why

This was one of the first fics I read of Adam's and I immediately fell in love with his writing! And I'm pretty sure that we ended up becoming friends after I rec'd it!!

Plum Sauce by @goldencatchflies - 1.5k, 1ch, Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Canon Divergence, Fluff, Jealousy, Platonic Morcia, Episode: s07e13 Snake Eyes

Garcia tells Spencer about what she thinks happened between her and Derek. He doesn’t seem too happy about it...

I read this from Syd and absolutely loved it, and like with Adam, we became friends from there! (I mean technically husband and wife, but, y'know. Semantics.)

You Belong With Me by @spencerspecifics - 11.4k, 1ch, Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid, Song Fic, Getting Together, Angst with a Happy Ending, Pining, Fluff

A fluffy Moreid fic based on You Belong With Me by: Taylor Swift

11. A fic you associate with a place

This reminds me of a chilled Sunday afternoon on my old sofa in my living room, with the fire on in the background. I read it all in one sitting and loved every word <3

Metanoia by @makaylajadewrites - 39k, 16ch, Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid, Canon Typical Violence, Implied Rape/Non-Con, Implied/Referenced Torture, Established Relationship, Near Death Experiences, Frostbite, Rape Recovery, Suicidal Thoughts, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Autistic Spencer Reid, Drug Use, Eventual Smut, Eventual Happy Ending

Oh, Derek… He couldn’t stand the thought of him bursting in with SWAT in tow, gun at the ready, only to descend those creaky stairs and find his naked, bleeding body, vacated of life, crumbled on a red-stained mattress. The realization that he was going to die at the end of this was catching up to him, but maybe it would be better that way.

In which an unfortunate resemblance to an unsub's victims puts Reid right on his radar.

12. A fic that made you gasp out loud

Gasp out loud might be a *bit* of an overreaction, but this one took me on a rollercoaster and I loved every second of it (all of bau-gremlin's fics will do that to you tbh)

The End by @bau-gremlin - 3.1k, 2ch, Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid, Graphic Violence, Stabbing, Blood and Injury, Temporary Character Death, Hurt Spencer Reid, Whump, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt Aaron Hotchner, Sleepy Cuddles, Protective Spencer Reid

The famous interview with Chester Hardwick ... except Hotch and Reid get separated and Reid is left alone with Hardwick and a prison-made shiv.

13. A fic you found at the right time

You're Going to be Okay by fullofcrazyness - 2.6k, 1ch, Gen/Aaron Hotchner & Spencer Reid, Dark, Suicidal Thoughts, Depression, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, Sad Spencer Reid, Hurt Spencer Reid, Depression, Protective Aaron Hotchner, Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending

Spencer was no stranger to depression. His father leaving him, his mother’s episodes, being twelve years old in a Las Vegas high school. All of those things made him very familiar with the illness. “I… I think I need some help.”

14. A fic that you would read a fic of

Chain Reaction by EloquentDossier - 42k, 16ch, Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid, Alternate Universe, Texting, Dialogue-Only, Text Fic, Self-Esteem Issues, Fluff, Angst, Implied/Referenced Past Drug Use, Canon Divergence, Pining, Oblivious Aaron Hotchner, Happy Ending

A dialogue-only AU in which Hotch texts what he thinks is Rossi's new number but is actually the slightly eccentric stranger whom Hotch knows only as "Spencer." What follows is something neither man could have ever quite expected.

15. A fic that made you laugh out loud

The Bet by @degrassi-fanatic - 1.6k, 2ch, Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Bets & Wagers, Humour, Fluff, Canon Divergence

“Fifty bucks says Hotch writes you up and sends you to sexual harassment sensitivity training.” she declares as she stares him down. Without looking away from her, Reid takes out his own wallet and flips it open to pull out a fifty dollar before placing it down right next to Prentiss’s own money. “Fifty bucks says Hotch will go out with me.”

16. A fic that gave you butterflies

The healing and dynamics in this one is just.... off the charts :')

Who Spencer Reid Loves by @blueberriesandbubbles - 36k, 11ch, Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid, Rape/Non-Con Elements, Abusive Relationships, Domestic Violence, Abuse, Hurt Spencer Reid, Mutual Pining, Rape Recovery, Healing, Fluff

Derek Morgan has been in love with the resident genius as long as he's known him. When Spencer enters a relationship with a mystery man, Derek is unhappy. He is even more unhappy when he meets this man. Spencer starts acting different and Derek knows something is wrong and he has a feeling its connected to the man Reid is dating.

17. A fic that embodies something you value in life

The utter and total love and devotion in this fic just punches me right in the gut every time I reread it

A Little Fall of Rain by jack_hunter - 4.3k, 2ch, Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Angst, Spencer Reid Whump, Autistic Spencer Reid, Major Character Injury, Secret Relationship, Team as Family, Dad Rossi

Morgan crept up behind the doctor and snatched the headphones off of his head, earning a yelp of a protest as he slipped them over his own ears. “Les Mis?” Morgan asked with a quizzical look, “didn’t peg you as the musical type, Pretty Boy.” Spencer snatched the headphones back. “I’ve always loved the theatre and I went to see Les Misérables with-... a friend last Friday.”

18. A favourite AU

The Curious Case of Dr. Reid by severaance - 37k, 10ch, Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid, Transgender Character, Fluff, Trans Spencer Reid, Light Angst, Getting Together, Developing Relationship, Smut, Insecurity, Happy Ending (Warning for Homophobic & Transphobic Slurs)

"And your names for the order, please?" The barista asked, eyes flickering expectantly between the two before her. "Spencer," she answered, although she was not talking to the barista. "I'm Spencer." The man before her had the same idea. "Derek."

19. A fic you stayed up too late to finish reading

I stayed up one night and read pretty much all the marvel fics this author has written, but this was the last one that I simply could not resist. The next day wasn't pretty :/

The more you say, the less I know by forthenightisdarkandfullofterror - 13.9k, 3ch, Gen/Irondad, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Temporary Amnesia, Protective Pepper Potts, Not Endgame Compliant, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Blood and Violence, Hurt Peter Parker, Whump

Tony wakes up from snapping with amnesia and for the life of him can't remember the kid hanging around, claiming to be 'just an intern'. Feelings get hurt.

20. A fic that made you feel seen

heavy in my bones by hopeless_hope - 4.4k, 1ch, Gen/Irondad, Chronic Pain, Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Peter Parker, Whump, Father-Son Relationship, Dad Tony, Worried Tony Stark, Angst, Chronic Illness, 5+1 Things

Five times Peter lied to someone about his chronic pain, and one time he told the truth and got the help he needed.

21. A fic you love without knowing the source material

(I mean this is literally all marvel fics but I'll rec this one because I loved it so much)

the locker room by searchingforstars - 15.5k, 3ch, Gen/Irondad, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Hurt Peter Parker, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Mental Health Issues, Misunderstandings, Arguing, Miscommunication, Crying, Whump, Angst with a Happy Ending, Rape Recovery

Peter's falling apart and he doesn't know how things will ever go back to normal again after Ryder.

22. A fic you've gushed about IRL

Genuinely, this fic is better than most published fiction I've read...

The Third Option by Uncertainty_Principle - 220k, 37ch, Gen/Irondad, Hurt/Comfort, Sexual Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Physical Abuse, Alternate Universe, Hurt Peter Parker, Foster Care, Identity Reveal, Slow Build, Disordered Eating, Homelessness

Ben and May divorced before Peter’s parents died, so when Ben is murdered Peter goes into foster care. It takes just a tiny taste of superpowers for Peter to decide he doesn’t want to put up with his horrible foster father anymore—the streets are infinitely more appealing. All he wants is to be Spider-Man anyway.

So he leaves. Simple.

Simple, that is, until Iron Man needs Spider-Man’s help. Peter isn’t about to turn down an opportunity to fight alongside Tony Freaking Stark, but he also isn’t going to let his hero know that his recruit is a fifteen-year-old homeless dropout. So they strike a deal. Peter will help Tony. In return, the mask stays on. And that’s when things get complicated.

23. A fic you still remember many years later

The Transport Series by ancientreader - 135k, 2 works, Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Backstory, Canon Drug Use, Childhood Sexual Abuse, Physical Disability, AU, Important Character Death, First Time, Developing Relationship, Angst with a Happy Ending, BDSM, Humour, Fluff

How to become a consulting detective. // Jim's lessons are hard to unlearn.

24. A fic with a line or two that you've memorised by heart

"He has held up buildings and nuclear bombs and whole entire countries on his back. Peter’s body is the heaviest thing he’s ever held."

when my body won't hold me anymore (where will I go) by @madasthesea - 4.4k, 2ch, Gen/Irondad, Temporary Character Death, Angst, Grief/Mourning, Father-Son Relationship, Hurt Peter Parker, Crying, Forehead Kisses, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Medical Inaccuracies, Hugs, Platonic Cuddling

But he knows. He knows. He can feel it. Peter’s dead. Peter Parker watches as Tony carefully arranges his limbs on a cot. “Mr. Stark,” he tries for the dozenth time. No one hears him.

25. Free Space

And to round it off, we have to celebrate the fic that really and truly welcomed me into the CM fanfic world...

Chanel by @4x24 - 24k, 7ch, Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid, Getting Together, Spencer Wears Makeup, Friends to Lovers, Light Angst, Canon Compliant, Canon Typical VIolence, Humour, Fluffy Ending, Pining, Smut Heavy

Penelope mentions offhandedly one night that she thinks Spencer might look good in makeup. Spencer takes the suggestion to heart. Derek likes the new look - and Spencer - more than he probably should. (Season 4)

[purrincess-chat]

Cat’s Definitive Ranking of Every ML Episode as of 4/22/21

Are you guys ready for this? I did the thing. You’re all welcome. Don’t ever ask me for anything again. You can watch me get progressively more unhinged in real time. 

Now, just to preface this, I did not give this too much thought. Most of these are just my gut feelings. I went through every episode and just made some snap judgments based off the lasting impressions I’ve been left with. These are my opinions. If you don’t like them, tough. And also I don’t care. Go spend 4 hours making your own damn ranking. And shut the hell up. Anyway, this is probably the longest post I’ve ever made, so I’m gonna put it all under a read more. Click on it if you have an hour to read it. Okay, here we go!

1.     Origins II- Good starting point for our heroes. Good establishment of canon ships and character dynamics. Umbrella scene literally stole my wallet. Cannot emphasis enough that I am whipped for the umbrella scene. I wrote a whole ass AU just to say how whipped I am for the umbrella scene. In the Rain will play at my wedding. Jk. Weddings are for suckers. But dammit if I don’t want these kids to get married. 10/10

2.     Origins I- Good introduction to lore. Good introduction to characters. Good establishment of status quoyo. Just good. 10/10

3.     Simon Says- Listen, I am nothing if not a shipper at heart. This episode just sparks joy. And the whole series almost ended when Gabriel almost jumped off the roof. I was really rooting for this one. This was the episode where I saw Ladrien and went yes, ma’am, I’ll have one of those. 10/10

4.     Evillustrator- Are you all surprised? Cat, the MC-skeptic ranked the pivotal MC episode so highly? Well, let me tell you all a thing, I started this fandom out a MC shipper because of this episode. Their first interaction is gold. I don’t deny that. I enjoy it. This is the MC dynamic I fell in love with. Yall toxic shippers ruined MC for me when you opened your mouths and spat in the face of Ladrien and baselessly declared MC the sin-ship. We all know it’s Ladrien. Stop kidding yourselves. Boy in leather catsuit? Please. Basic ass vanilla bitches. I’m getting off-topic. Solid episode 10/10. We love to see it.

5.     Stormy Weather- Baby’s first Miraculous episode. It holds a special place in my heart. It’s a solid episode. Good establishment of what the show is. Fun villain. Good times. Fond memories. 10/10

6.     Riposte- Listen, I know I’m an Adrinette stan, but hear me out: Ladrien. It’s just so good. And Kagami was compelling in this episode. It was just really solid. It’s my favorite s2 episode. If you ask me if I want to rewatch Riposte, the answer is always yes. 10/10. We stan.

7.     Gorizilla- Okay, so this episode has some solid Adrinette in it, but the real reason it ranks so high is that fucking Ladrien trust fall. I stare at that scene for hours, you guys. HOURS. It is absolutely just *chefs kiss*. Sometimes when I need a pick-me-up, I just go watch gifs of that catch on loop. 10/10. Beautiful. Radiant. Carefree.

8.     Gang of Secrets- I have been keeping most of my opinions to myself about s4 (mostly because I’ve backed way the hell out of this fandom), but GoS was pretty solid. Gotta say, it’s the first episode in a long time with this show that made me actually excited to see what happens next. Most other episodes I was like, okay, that was cute. The show is still meh overall. But GoS really got me like oh shit, is ML good again? 10/10 for making me feel things again.

9.     Oblivio- Told you guys this one was probably rated higher than I thought. Oblivio is just really fun. There is good Adrinette. That “No wonder I fell in love with you” paired with the softest of Adrien smiles just sends me. And the kisses. The unquestionable trust. These two kids literally woke up together alone in an elevator with no memories and said welp, you’re my boyfriend/girlfriend obviously, I don’t make the rules. Honestly, how anyone could argue that these two dorks aren’t made for each other after that episode is beyond me. 9/10

10.  Backwarder- Okay, I know I am weird and alone for this one, but I really liked this episode. It got a lot of shit for the constipation capsule thing at the end, but like who cares? We finally got some more backstory on Fu. He got a love-interest who is dope as hell. This episode is my favorite lucky charm use ever. Like that queen DID that. I like Backwarder, guys! Fuck off. 9/10.

11.  Kwamibuster- We all know I am a Marinette-stan by this point, but our girl was SHINING this episode. This bitch said gimme all them and let me go whoop this bitch’s ass, and she DID. Hawkmoth could never. Multimouse is a gift, and Marinette is a boss ass queen.  9/10

12.  Chat Blanc- Listen, this episode was very good. I enjoy the idea of my children being happy in another timeline somewhere very much. We got all 4 sides of the square in an episode. It’s just really solid. I know this is the fandom’s favorite, and everyone is gonna shit their pants because it didn’t make my top 10, but this is my list. So, I put it at number 12. It’s good. I like it. It just didn’t steal my wallet like other episodes did. Put the pitchforks down. It’s gonna be okay, you can still love it more than me. 8/10

13.  New York Special- I know everyone felt some type of way about this special, but I wasn’t mad at it. My perception of it might be clouded because I watched it in Disney World where I was chilling and having a great time, but like this special really did somethings for me. The Adrinette was top tier. Tippy top tier. Even though they hurt us in the end, I am okay with it because it just means the children will grow and come out stronger. I don’t care if it’s not technically canon. Ask me if I give a fuck. I don’t. I had fun here. 8/10. Solid.

14.  The Collector- This one might shock a lot of you, but let me paint you a scene. It’s the first episode of s2. We have just come off a 2 year hiatus. The fandom is thriving. We’re hungry for canon content. We have hopes and dreams and expectations. Everyone is going wild with theories. This episode confirmed something that was long since obvious (in my opinion) and ended the stupid arguments people had been having. It made Gabriel actually seem semi-competent. We got our first taste of how Chat/Adrien will react to his dad being Hawkmoth. We got a peek at their life. Adrien’s isolation and sadness. They were so close to figuring it out. The battle was epic. Like Collector really had them on the ropes there for a second. It’s a solid episode, yall. I’m not wrong. Hate me all you want, but this episode brought it. 8/10

15.  Despair Bear- Is this episode up this high because of the Adrinette slow dance scene? YOU BET YOUR ASS IT IS. Okay, but fr though, shipping aside, this episode gave us hope that Chloe was actually gonna redeem herself. I mean, she didn’t but, we didn’t know that at the time. Seeing her run around trying to be nice was fun. And then she actually did something good, and we had a moment of okay, she’s capable. We’ll get there. We didn’t. But what a ride this episode was for making us think she would. 8/10

16.  Startrain- Cat, you’re just ranking all the Adrinette episodes highest. And? What of it? Are you surprised? You clicked a blog that has simping for Adrinette in the description, and you’re surprised all my favorite episodes have Adrinette? I’m not wrong, you’re just an idiot. The Adrinette nap cuddles aside though, this was a pretty good episode. If you don’t think too hard about the whole space thing, we got a look at Max’s life, his mom is a driven, smart lady doing her best. Adrien rebels against papa for once. Alya stops a Lila scheme. Chloe gets to play the hero. Alya and Nino actually investigate like the heroes they are. Gabriel gets to realize what a dumbass bitch he is. I mean. Guys. Startrain is solid. 7.5/10

17.  Sapotis- This one shot up in rank for me after GoS, but tbh it’s always been a solid episode. Alyanette sleepover? Check. Alya becoming a superhero? Check. It’s a fun episode. And looking back, it’s nicely called back to later in GoS. We love it. 7.5/10

18.  Sandboy- Idk why I enjoy this episode as much as I do, but I do. Sandboy is a cute bean. I love his aesthetic. We also get hilarious looks at everyone’s nightmares. “Plagg, who turned you into a sock?” cracks me up cause like Adrien, bby, no XD And Chat Noir’s nightmare. I think it would have been interesting though if since Sandboy dusted the Agreste mansion, if we got a peek at Hawkmoth’s nightmares. It would have been a nice hint of plot to go along with Master Fu’s nightmare. Also Plagg giving the akuma the slip like the clever boy we know he is deep down? 7.5/10

19.  Furious Fu- If you guys haven’t realized by now that I love Fu, idk what you’re doing. Pay attention. I know that some people don’t like him, but I’m just gonna say it, you’re wrong. Fu took care of the Miracle Box for over 100 years, and this episode kind of gives some insight to what the Order was like. Very strict. Lots of rules. And ya know what, Fu said fuck the police, I’m gonna befriend these little magical demigods, and fuck off! Like what an absolute legend. I was really happy to see him living his best life, and that he and Marianne got married because it’s what he deserves. We love to see it. 7.5/10

20.  Gamer- People like to shit on Marinette in this episode, but like honestly, if I were in her shoes, I’d have probably done the same thing if I had the skill. Ain’t nothing wrong with a girl trying to spend time with the boy she likes. And Tom and Sabine being absolute shipping trash. I love them. And the awkward Adrinette. The introduction of the lucky charm that Adrien STILL carries. Wholesome. This was a good episode for their friendship, and we love to see it. 7.5/10

21.  Christmaster- Okay, I know a lot of people hated this episode when it aired, but I thought it was really funny? Everyone skidding around in the ice rink was hilarious. If you don’t take this episode seriously, it’s really fun. Chris is pretty cute, and damn right Ladybug is the best kid in the world. Idk. This episode is fun. I’m not mad at it. Sue me. 7.5/10

22.  Weredad- What? Another MC-heavy episode in Cat’s top 30? Listen, I don’t hate canon MC. The fans just annoy me. This episode was funny. The secondhand embarrassment and cringe was real. Plagg taunting Adrien because he knows the secret was great. Marinette being a self-saving queen was great. It’s a good episode. I like MC, you guys. I do. I swear! 7.5/10

23.  Miraculer- This episode was interesting to me, and I think it’s still a good development episode. For one, Sabrina finally got her own akuma episode named after her. Secondly, because it’s a big step for Chloe, just not in the way we expected. It totally makes sense that Chloe can’t have her Miraculous back because literally everyone knows her identity. Can’t argue that logic. And she is the first person to ever refuse to become akumatized, so like mad respect. I know a lot of people had high hopes for redeemed Chloe (myself included), but I think watching a character fall from revering someone to hating them is also an interesting path. The friends to enemies arc as it were. Idk. I liked this episode. It was an opportunity for Chloe to grow, even if she didn’t in the end, but we’ll talk about that later. 7.5/10

24.  Lady Wifi- I like Alya. I feel like I don’t say that much, and people make some assumptions because of MDCSP, but MDCSP is just a concept I wanted to explore. It doesn’t really reflect how I feel about any one character. Except maybe Lila. And Gabe. But every other spite fic I’ve written branching from Chameleon, the class has been fine. Alya has been fine. So, let it be known that I like Alya. Lady Wifi was a fun episode. Putting aside the fact that she thought Chloe was Ladybug for no reason, I like her akuma. I like the interactions we get with LadyNoir in this episode. After GoS, this episode gets a bit funnier. It’s solid. 7/10

25.  Dark Cupid- I don’t have much to say about this one. LadyNoir. That’s it. That’s the tweet. Send it. 7/10

26.  Volpina- So many things about this episode. It introduced a new antagonist who we didn’t exactly 100% know was going to be an antagonist at the time. This episode sparked a lot of fun fan theories for a while. Who was Lila? How was she going to shake things up? Not to mention this episode gave us a taste of plot and lore, and set up Marinette meeting Master Fu officially. Lots of intrigue sparked from this episode. And that LadyNoir door scene? OOOOOO 7/10

27.  Hearthunter- One word: Adrigaminette. This episode was so cute for them! I loved seeing them all goofing and running around together. Adrien and Kagami being absolutely in love with Marinette when her hair is down. They both love her, I don’t make the rules. Not to mention, Marinette takes a big step by letting her friends be happy without her. Kagami not wanting to hurt Marinette. The drama!! Gabriel being a messy ass bitch to his friends. It loses points for the abomination of an akuma, but overall, I wasn’t too mad at it. Yet. 7/10

28.  Glaciator- More MC in Cat’s top 30? It’s more likely than you think. Listen. Listen… Listen. MC is fine. This episode was the closest thing to fanfiction that we got. The balcony scene was really sweet. I was drinking the irony. We got introduced to Andre the icecream fraud. Andre the please just give me the flavor I asked for man. I could have done without Chat pouting, but the LadyNoir in the end was pretty good. I wish they’d done more with Ladybug’s feelings for Chat. Had her question herself a bit more after this one, but overall, it’s cute. 7/10

29.  Zombizou- A lot of people started hating Mlle. Bustier after this episode, and like I can kind of see it, if I squint, but I did not draw that same conclusion from this episode. Mlle. Bustier just wants good things for all of her students. They’re 14 ffs, she just wants to be a good influence on all of her students and wants them all to be successful. But go off, I guess? Plus, this episode was basically just a spoof on zombie apocalypse movies. We got so many things. Julerose, Myvan, DJWifi. Chloe actually showing some depth and emotion. LadyNoir. We won this episode, babes. Sorry you didn’t get the memo. 7/10

30.  Timetagger- Okay. This is the last episode in the ones that I’d venture to call “good.” Number 30. I enjoyed Timetagger. I know people have feelings about timey-wimey bullshit, and like I’m not gonna lie and say I’m thrilled with it either (I mean, I changed the rabbit’s power in MDCSP) but that being said, Timetagger was so sassy. Bunnix was cool as hell. We get to see that LB and CN are still doing the thing in the future. So many questions sparked from this episode. It was fun. Idk. I liked it. That’s all I got. 7/10

31.  Malediktator- Okay, from this point on, less comments because this is the section that are more or less just meh to me. Like they’re fine. This episode was fine. Chloe was fine. Chat playing with the laser was cute. 6.5/10

32.  Mayura- Adrien’s speech at the end. Nuff said 6.5/10

33.  Ikari Gozen- Ryuko/Ryuuko. Gals being pals. 6.5/10

34.  Reflekdoll- I talked about this earlier, but I don’t hate this episode. It’s not as bad as people make it out to be. Sue me. 6.5/10

35.  Anansi- Nino is the goodest boy. Also I need more of the gang taking Adrien on adventures via Facetime. Stat. 6.5/10

36.  Shanghai- This one is new, and tbh I still haven’t watched it with subs, but I had a good time. Fei was cute. The boy squad was cute. Adrien bonding with Great Uncle Cheng was cute. Hawkmoth getting literally dunked on was *chefs kiss* 6.5/10

37.  Gigantitan- I love overly supportive, ride-or-die girl squad. 6.5/10

38.  Party Crasher- Idk why this episode was funny to me. Kim is the purest bean. We don’t deserve him. 6.5/10

39.  Desperada- This episode was an emotional roller coaster, and even though we all collectively hate Aspik’s stupid egghead, we love the Ladrien this episode provided us. 6/10

40.  Oni-chan- Listen, I loved seeing Lila get a tiny bit of karma even if she made it up in the end. I loved Chat going off on her. I loved seeing her get outsmarted in the end. 6/10

41.  Frightningale- My good lesbian Clara Nightingale. We stan. 6/10

42.  Style Queen- I like Audrey in a “she’s the worst person I’ve ever met, I want to travel the world with her” kind of way. She’s funny to me. Idk. I love her firing everyone. She’s the one I love to hate. She’s the worst, but we love her for it. Plus this episode gave us Plagg’s adorable little Cataclysm that destroyed half the city. 6/10

43.  Gamer 2.0- Chat confidently strutting in heels made this episode worth it. And we get to see the beginning of Marinette being overwhelmed. Plus it was the return of gamer!nette. 6/10

44.  Troublemaker- I don’t hate this episode as much as the next person either. It was fine. Jagged is a manchild, but we love him for it. He’s a Marinette stan which like mood. The Adrinette at the end was cute. I wasn’t mad at it. Idk. It’s fine. 6/10

45.  Reflekta- Where are all my Juleka stans at? I loved the LadyNoir banter in this ep. V. cute. 6/10

46.  Dark Owl- This episode was fun. And it really shows their level of trust. Plus Plagg and Tikki interacted. 6/10

47.  Timebreaker- Have I ever mentioned that I like Alix? I like Alix. 6/10

48.  Silencer- I don’t hate this episode as much as you’d expect me to, and that is 100% because of the LadyNoir. 5.5/10

49.  Prime Queen- Chat purrs. 5.5/10

50.  Syren- I think the fish power-up is adorable. Ondine is a gem. Kim is a pure bean, but we been knew. 5.5/10

51.  Befana- I like Gina, but this episode fell flat for me. Almost as flat as the animation. 5.5/10

52.  Reverser- Another episode that everyone hates that I am actually fine with. This episode made me like Nathaniel more. Probably because I was previously indifferent toward him. Marc is cute too. 5.5/10

53.  Mr. Pigeon- Marinette is one clever girl. And the Adrinette hand-touch. 5.5/10

54.  Felix- Felix is a gremlin of chaos. A true chaotic neutral. He gives his uncle the finger, and I think that’s beautiful. 5.5/10

55.  Truth- Bet you expected this episode to be higher. While I did enjoy watching toxic people’s world crumble, this episode still gets a meh from me dog. 5/10

56.  Lies- The Adrigami was cute, and I respect Kagami as a character. The akuma could have been better tho. 5/10

57.  Princess Fragrance- Not much to say here. 5/10

58.  Copycat- 5/10

59.  Bubbler- 5/10

60.  Mime- 5/10

61.  Animan- 5/10

62.  Robostus- 5/10

63.  Ladybug- This episode ranks this low purely because I don’t care about GabeNath, and I hate that Lila won something in the end. But Adrien saying I won’t hesitate, bitch! At the end was nice to see. 5/10

64.  Catalyst- I know I ranked Mayura way higher, but Catalyst fell flat for me. Like it was fine. Wasn’t as into it though. 4.5/10

65.  Puppeteer- One of my favorite lucky charm uses. 4.5/10

66.  Pixelator- My favorite Cataclysm. 4.5/10

67.  Horrificator- That almost-Adrinette kiss tho 4.5/10

68.  Pharaoh- 4.5/10

69.  Kung Food- 4.5/10

70.  Rogercop- 4/10

71.  Guitar Villain- 4/10

72.  Dark Blade- 4/10

73.  Bakerix- 4/10

74.  Antibug- And now onto the bottom 10. To start us off, I will just say: UGH, this episode annoyed me. First of all, Sabrina didn’t even get her own episode. Chloe was a piece of shit. Idk why they made Ladybug the one in the wrong when Chloe was being obnoxious. Ugh. 3/10

75.  Captain Hardrock- I’m gonna be honest. My apathy for this episode has grown into loathing. Toxic stans are 100% to blame. Birthday ruining, bitches. This is the reason I threw a breakup bash after Truth. Yall deserved it. 3/10

76.  Christmas Special- I didn’t hate this episode as much as everyone, but it still wasn’t great. 2.5/10

77.  Stormy Weather 2.0- This episode was really dumb. It didn’t need to exist. 2.0/10

78.  Queen Wasp- Why did we give Chloe a Miraculous after this episode? 2/10

79.  Animaestro- Did we really need a self-insert? Did we really? 2/10

80.  Puppeteer 2.0- Listen, this episode would have made more sense in s1 or at the very latest early s2. Adrien gave a whole ass speech on how great Marinette is, then he turns around and is like idk if she likes me… Clean it up. 2/10

81.  Miracle Queen- I could talk at length about how much I hate the ending of this episode and what they did with Chloe and Master Fu, but we’re just going to remain calm and give it a solid 1.5/10

82.  Frozer- This episode made no goddamn sense. I call bullshit on so many things. Just ugh. 1/10

83.  Chameleon- Surprisingly, even though this episode sparked many, many spite fics out of me, it’s not my least favorite because at least Ladybug semi-redeemed this episode. Still really dumb and ooc tho. 1/10

84.  Feast- Okay, okay, okay, here we are. Bottom of the barrel. Cat’s most hated episode, and you wanna know why? You want to know why this episode fills me with the rage? Because we spent two fucking seasons building up all this mystery and lore and intrigue surrounding Fu’s big mistake, and they dropped the fucking ball! They did my mans so dirty! They could have really deepened his character, deepened the Order, deepened anything other than whatever fucking affair Gabriel and Nathalie have going on, but NO. They made it some stupid, bland-ass thing that got resolved magically in the end, then just ignored it for the rest of the season. I will never not be salty about how they did my boy Fu in this show. I’m happy he found his peace, but fuck if I’m not livid about how they did it. Whatever. Chat being done with Ladybug’s shit when they’re about to get eaten was funny I guess. .5/10

[baoshan-sanren]

Chapter 24

of the wwx emperor au I’m thinking of calling Lan QiRen’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week

Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 Part 1 | Chapter 8 Part 2 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 Part 1 | Chapter 15 Part 2 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18 | Chapter 19 | Chapter 20 | Chapter 21 | Chapter 22 Part 1 | Chapter 22 Part 2 | Chapter 23

Tomorrow comes too soon, and for Wei Ying, it comes with insistent and painful flicks to his ear.

He groans, his ribs aching, his head still throbbing lightly, warning him that the amount of sleep he had gotten is nowhere within the acceptable parameters. The next flick to his ear is particularly vicious, and he tries to swat it away, his face still buried in the blankets. His toes feel cramped. Shifting them does nothing but make his ankles ache. Is he still wearing boots? Why?

A vicious slap lands on his ear, propelling him upright.

“What--“

Nie HuaiSang is sitting up in bed, his arm strapped to his chest, the other hand half-raised, as if he intends to slap him again.

“A-Sang!”

Somewhere on the other side of the bed, Jiang Cheng groans in complaint. Wei Ying can see nothing of him but one purple shoulder and a tuft of hair. HuaiSang is still pale, but it looks as if he had taken care to arrange his sleeping robes, and comb his fingers through his hair before viciously slapping Wei Ying awake.

“How do you feel?” Wei Ying asks carefully.

“How do I feel?” A-Sang says incredulously, “How do I feel?”

Uh-oh, Wei Ying thinks.

“I feel like an arrow went through my shoulder,” he hisses, “I am in pain. I feel miserable, and hungry, and extremely fucking angry. How am I supposed to get dressed?”

“How-- what?”

“How am I supposed to get dressed with this thing on my arm?” A-Sang growls.

Jiang Cheng groans in complaint again. HuaiSang snatches a pillow, and whacks him three times in quick succession.

Jiang Chen is upright almost as quickly as Wei Ying had been, his hair an unholy mess, his expression murderous.

The moment he sees HuaiSang, his expression softens, and he opens his mouth.

“Do not ask him how he feels,” Wei Ying says quickly, and gets a pillow to his face for his efforts.

“Get up!” A-Sang snaps, “Both of you. I want breakfast. I want roast duck and wild herb salad, stir-fried spinach with dried shrimp, steamed lotus root with rice, steamed buns, and I better not see any of that minced pumpkin abomination in my buns either. I want them stuffed with mutton. And where is my tea? Is this the Emperor’s palace or a QiShan winehouse? Move!”

Wei Ying scrambles off the bed. He is still within the reach of the pillow, and does not think his head would tolerate another hit. Jiang Cheng is a little slower, tangling in his own robes, and the pillow catches him on the ear.

“I want Wen Qing to give me something for pain. I want all the Imperial seamstresses in this room in less than an hour, and they best be ready to work. You--“ he points the pillow at Wei Ying, “owe me an entire closet of robes. We will settle on the number, and then I will increase it, and you will not say a single word in complaint. Understood?”

“Yes,” Wei Ying says quickly.

“And you--!” he points the pillow at Jiang Cheng.

Jiang Cheng is finally awake, and now fully cognizant of the situation.

“Tea!” he exclaims, “Worthless servants! Where is the tea?”

And then he escapes, leaving Wei Ying all alone with furious HuaiSang who looks as if he wants to be clutching a sword instead of the pillow.

“I want a palace,” A-Sang snarls, “of my own. And thirty servants, in addition to the five I have now.”

“Done,” Wei Ying says quickly.

A-Sang’s eyes narrow, “I want a title for A-Jue.”

“Fine.”

“And a three-day banquet thrown in my honor every year, until I am old and blind.”

“Done.”

HuaiSang grunts, and puts the pillow down.

Wei Ying waits a few moments, then shuffles a little closer.

“Can I sit down now? Or do you want to hit me again?”

“You may sit,” A-Sang says graciously, “I might hit you again anyway.”

Wei Ying feels that is an acceptable risk to take, and settles down on the step below the bed, where Jiang Cheng had spent the majority of the night.

“I assume you did not catch the assassin,” HuaiSang huffs, readjusting his robes.

“No. The arrow came from the East watchtower, but the assassin was gone by the time A-Cheng got there. He left two arrows behind. Perhaps he is not as skilled as we thought.”

“I should say,” HuaiSang says scornfully, “He has done a terrible job of trying to kill you.”

Wei Ying’s throat tightens. He will have waking nightmares of that arrow shifting a little more to the right, and he will deserve each one.

HuaiSang waves a hand in front of his face, “Stop that. I am not in the mood for your self-pity right now. Do we have any new information? At all?”

Aside from the fact that someone had tried to kill him in the view of every Sect in the cultivation world? Absolutely nothing. This had definitely not been an average assassination attempt. But the way in which it differs does not offer any clues.

“They were Lan Sect arrows,” Wei Ying says.

“Hm. I am not surprised. Anything else?”

“Lan QiRen,” Wei Ying says, “showed me a note that was waiting for them at the Peach Blossom Pavilion the night they arrived. The note said that the Young Masters are in danger, and that they should leave the Immortal Mountain.”

“Interesting. Do you have the note?”

Wei Ying has been keeping it in his sleeve, and he hands it over.

HuaiSang hesitates a moment, his fingers brushing over the dry blood prints Wei Ying had left on the paper. But he does not say anything about them, unfolding the note, and frowning at the characters.

“This was written by a child,” he says, his tone surprised.

“Or someone who has never really learned how to write,” Wei Ying counters.

“If we assume it is the same person,” A-Sang muses, “it is someone who is young, uneducated, but has a fair amount of spiritual power for their age. Probably someone who lacks confidence in that power as well. If this is a disciple, they have not been one for long.”

“It could be more than one person,” Wei Ying says.

“It does not matter,” A-Sang sniffs, folding up the note, “Assassinations are my domain. Mine and A-Cheng’s. You just go do-- whatever you need to be doing.”

He tucks the note in his own sleeve, and Wei Ying knows he will likely never see it again.

“You should not even be here right now,” HuaiSang says, frowning, “Was the archery competition postponed?”

“It was canceled,” Wei Ying says, “It seemed in poor taste, considering.”

“Hm,” HuaiSang says, “You should go to YiLing today, then.”

“What? Why?”

They have been planning Wei Ying’s Great Escape to YiLing for months now. How to hide his absence from the court. How to get by the main gate. How to disguise himself properly. How to enter the Immortal Mountain again without raising an alarm. It has become a frequent subject of their drunk planning, their schemes and ideas often spiraling into fantastical nonsense the more alcohol they consumed.

Yet, Wei Ying never truly believed that these ploys would ever come to fruition.

“Because,” HuaiSang says patiently, “We need to ascertain how closely the assassin is positioned to the throne. Obviously close enough that they had access to the palaces and the Imperial servants, but not close enough to have caught wind of your competition scheme. This is a perfect opportunity. Although, it will not be the great escape we planned.”

His face scrunches up in displeasure. As the mastermind of the Great Escape, he has taken pride in planning out the minutiae, and Wei Ying knows it must irk him to have to make adjustments.

“Some people will need to know. I will need YanLi’s assistance. Is A-Lin back yet? No, never mind,” he says, before Wei Ying can even open him mouth, “I think I can do without him. But the Lan Sect will definitely need to be informed. Actually, take Lan WangJi with you, and see if you can convince Lan XiChen can tag along, as a-- chaperone of some sort.”

“Wait a moment--“ Wei Ying splutters, but A-Sang is no longer paying attention to him.

“We must be able to trust the Nie Sect, at the very least. I need to speak to my brother first; only he can decide if Nie ZongHui can be trusted with the details of the plan. What time is it? Is it still mid-morning? I hate doing things on a tight schedule, you know. This is how mistakes are made. Where is my damn tea? Did A-Cheng get lost on the way to the kitchens?”

Wei Ying opens his mouth, and A-Sang waves a hand in front of his face again.

“We should have sent a message to QiShan sooner,” he snaps, “I despise making decisions based on flimsy and insufficient information. Well? You need be ready to leave by sundown. Go, speak to the Lan Sect, then come back. Did I not just say that we do not have a lot of time? Move!”

Before Wei Ying has a chance to respond, Wen Qing is sweeping into the room, and A-Sang is slumping dramatically against the blankets.

“Wen Qing,” he whines breathlessly, “I am in agony. Absolute agony. I cannot live with this pain. The room is spinning. Is it getting darker? Oh. Oh! I think I will faint again.”

[winters-void]

100

a/n: this is based off of episode 9 of season 5 “100″ of criminal minds. -Requests are open.

warning: death, blood, violence, angst, George foyet, murder

relationship: dad! Hotchner x daughter! reader, Spencer Reid x reader (light)

____

Y/n felt her heart in her chest. She couldn't hear, over her heartbeat and her vision was blurred due to the immense amount of tears in her eyes. She felt Spencer's hand on her shoulder and that was all it took to break down. She fell to her knee's being caught along the way by Spencer and began to bawl into his shoulder. His cane fell to the side as he held her close as she broke down into his body.

— previously —

Y/n was exhausted. She graciously took a cup of coffee from Spencer as they made their way up to the bullpen. Finally, there had been a break in the Foyet case. She was so tired of this devil. It seemed like he was everywhere she looked. Even if he wasn't there physically.

She could feel him in her dreams, plaguing her with nightmares. Every time she looked at the family photo on her desk, and a picture of her and Jack from her little brother's 3rd birthday she was reminded of the torment he had caused her family. From stabbing her father and leaving him at the hospital, and now threatening Jack and her mother. She was so tired of it.

They were working on a geographical profile now, focusing on the two different addresses from the letters he had sent. Garcia and Kevin where cross referencing a list of Foyet's medications, trying to find something that he couldn't get over the counter or on the streets.

"Okay so what are we going to do about the two cities?" J.J. asked. "Usually we need 3 different points to get an accurate geographic profile."

"That's all we got right now." Derek speaks from beside her.

"Gaithersburg, Rockville, D.C., Alexandria, Bowie, Annapolis." Prentiss begins listing off nearby cities.

"Where the hell are you Foyet?"

Wasn't that the question of the hour? Of the year actually. All Y/n wanted was to have her family under one roof again. Even if her parents were divorced, she just wanted the ability to call her mom after a long case and play with her little brother. Instead, they were placed into protective custody. She knew they were safe, at least she hoped they were.

The team wasn't told where they were going whatsoever, it was safer that way. No way of knowing where your mom and brother were, and not knowing how to contact them. There was a small amount of people who knew where they were located.

"Okay, me and the boy found a thyroid medication that has no substitute over the counter. You gotta get it from a pharmacist, but a lot of people are on it." Garcia said bursting into the bullpen with a laptop in her hand.

"Find the midpoint between the 2 cities." Rossi told her. "And isolate names in a 25-mile radius."

"153 names." Garcia told him.

"He's smart enough to use a different name." Y/n spoke up. "This guy lived off of the grid for years."

"What kind of names should we be looking for." Derek asks.

"He could've easily stolen someones identity." Prentiss speaks up pointing toward Derek, reminding Y/n of the night her father got stabbed and Foyet checked him into the hospital using Derek's credentials.

"No, he's a narcissist in love with his own mythology." her dad speaks up, flipping through a file. "He'd use a name connected with the case."

"A victim maybe, a cop." Rossi adds.

"Okay, let's check the Foyet files for a list of names, and... nothing." Garcia says shaking her head.

"Wait a minute guys." Her boyfriend speaks up. "Foyet likes things to have meaning to him. The eye of providence, the addresses he wrote on the bus that led us back to him."

Spencer stands up, walking to the bored and writing "George Foyet" on it. "Maybe he's doing the same thing with the alias."

"Like an anagram or something." Prentiss says catching on.

Spencer begins crossing letters out and drawing arrows. Y/n wonders what's going on in his mind. He's always been brilliant and she's not sure she'll understand how he does it all.

"You see something Spence?" She asks him.

"Not yet."

"Reid, he named himself the reaper." Her dad tells him and suddenly 'the reaper' appears on the board as well and Spencer repeats his process of crossing out letters and making arrows.

All of a sudden he turns around, with a name. "Peter Rhea." He speaks.

"There's a Peter Rhea in Arlington." Garcia says looking down at her laptop.

"We found him." Rossi says.

___

The team begins to suit up. Y/n pulling on her vest as calm as possible. Her hands are shaking and everyone notices. This isn't the normal Y/n whatsoever. She just wants her life to go back to normal. With a case hitting this close to home, she can't help but feel like her nerves are racking up against her.

"Hey." Spencer says placing a hand on her waist gently. The rest of the team looks away giving them a moment. "You're okay. We're going to get him."

"Are we?" She asks, voice cracking.

___

Y/n, Spencer, J.J. Derek and Rossi were in an empty building across the street from Foyet's apartment. They had a swat team behind them and Y/n was sitting next to Rossi, her back to Spencer who was leaning on his cane.

"SWAT's getting antsy." Jennifer told Morgan. She didn't really listen to what else they had to say. She just focused on the building ahead of them.

Less than 15 minutes later, the decision to move was made. Derek sent in someone with a camera to look under the door of Foyet's apartment.

"What's that on the floor?" Her dad asked from beside her.

"That's his mail." Derek said and the decision to move out was made. They ran across the street, guns drawn, followed by the SWAT team and undercover units.

They busted into the apartment quickly, discovering Foyet wasn't there.

"He's not coming back here, he left an untouched meal." Her father declared.

"You drop your mail like this when you're startled, when you need to get out of dodge quick." Rossi tells him.

"Something tipped him off, he knew we were coming."

"Suitcases are open there's some clothes missing, there's a safe with a stash of guns in it." Derek says coming back into the kitchen with J.J.

"He didn't even bother to lock them up again." J.J. adds.

"If he's in a hurry, he'll make a mistake." Rossi says.

"Yeah but when Foyet gets cornered he starts killing." Hotch says leaving the room.

"We're not gonna let that happen."

"We need Garcia to get on this." Y/n whisper watching Foyet's screen. It's continuously deleting files from its system. As Garcia reworks the files, you notice something in a picture. "Wait, stop, stop! Is that-"

"The US Marshall assigned to my family." Her dad says looking right at her. He leaves a message on Kassmeyers cell before locking eyes with Y/n. "Let's go."

____

The black SUV's halt to a stop outside of the U.S. Marshals house. When walking inside, they find Kassmeyer on the ground, slowly dying. Rossi gets an ambulance as your father tries to communicate with him.

Y/n could hear the sirens of the ambulance now as medics came in.  "Gunshot wounds to each leg he's missing several fingers and he's badly beaten." Spencer said from beside her.

"Clear out of the way" the medics ordered her father before getting to work. As they got into the ambulance Hotch followed him into the vehicle leaving Y/n with the rest of the team breathing heavily. She felt Spencer grab a shaking hand and squeeze it tight.

Later on the team received a phone call from Hotchner, telling them that Foyet called Y/n's mother from Sam's phone.

"We'll get Garcia to trace it. J.J." Morgan said nodding at J.J. to start working on that.

"He told her she was compromised and I was dead, and that Y/n was in critical condition." Her dad told them.

"Well have you called her?" Prentiss ask him.

"No. He said to throw her phone away and to buy a disposable." Y/n heard her dad say. She wanted to vomit. There was too much happening at once. She wanted to be calm and collected but there was too much on the line. This case was targeting her home, her family.

"Hotch we're gonna come get you right now." Morgan told him.

"No, Anderson's bringing me a car."

"You want us to meet you back at the office?"

"I'm hoping that she's just going to call me, at least, to check. Maybe even Y/n."  

"Foyet posed as a Marshal, called from a number that she recognized." Derek told him.

"And then he did what gets him off. He scared her." Rossi added.

"No, He paralyzed her. He overwhelmed her." Prentiss told the team.

"And now, she trusts him. Where do you think he would take her?" Spencer asked him.

"Witness protection had her living in New Jersey." Prentiss told Spencer.

"He has a head start. He could be there now."

"Garcia's got a trace." J.J. told the team a form of somewhat good news.

"He's bouncing between a few towers." Garcia spoke being added to the call.

"Where?" Y/n's dad asked panicked.

"Fairfax County." Garcia told him.

"He's still local?" Y/n asked confused. "He wants to be close."

"Send the coordinates to my phone." Hotch told her.

Hotchner hung up from the phone call, and the team watched as he called another number.

"Wait that phone's on?" Prentiss asked.

"Hotch is calling Foyet."

"Garcia get us connected to that call." Y/n spoke grabbing the phone.

"Agent Hotchner." Y/n heard Foyet's voice on the phone and her blood ran cold.

"If you touch her.." She heard her father tell him.

"Be gentle, like I was with you?" Foyet asks and Y/n is reminded of walking into her fathers empty apartment find his blood on the floor. "What the hell took you so long? I was beginning to think this phone was dead or something. Why so quiet? You usually lash out when you're frustrated."

"I'm not frustrated. You're more predictable than you think." Her father spoke lowly.

"Am I?" Foyet asked.

"You didn't know where Haley was so you made her come to you."

"You make me sound lazy."

"Just another way for you to show control." Hotch told him. "Your mother tried to protect you from your father but she wasn't strong enough and you hated her for that didn't you? You decided that all women were weak."

"Those are your words, not mine."

"What were you 9 when you killed them?"

"It was a car accident."

"That you couldn't take credit for. That had to be hard for you. But poor George got another chance, the little orphan was saved. By the wealthy, sterile Eastside couple, the Foyets and the story should've ended there." Hotchner spoke, analyzing the Reaper.

"I don't believe in fairy tales, do you?" Foyet asked him.

"That's the thing, George. This isn't a fairy tale." Hotch told him. "You don't have to write this story, you don't have to do any of this. I know you're exhausted, always looking over your shoulder." Her father was pleading with the man now. "Always wondering when the other shoe is gonna drop. Haven't you gotten what you wanted? You've set yourself apart from anybody we've ever dealt with. You're not just a famous serial killer, you're the reaper. We're gonna study you and your methods for years and years."

Foyet took a moment to respond. "You know what I've been thinking? Haley looks pretty good with dark hair. She's lost some weight, must be all the stress you've caused her. Where's the little man? Oh. There he is. Does he like Captain America because of you?"

Another phone rang in the background. Y/n's eyes began to swell with tears. This sick bastard was watching her family. He was playing them like a fiddle.

"That's your wife. Hold please." She listened closely as Foyet answered the other phone. "Mrs. Hotchner."

"I'm here." Y/n heard her mothers voice and she closed her eyes to hold back the tears. It was the first time she'd heard it in months. Never in a million years did she think this would be the circumstance.

"Open the gate and I'll drive in." Foyet told her, and not knowing any better her mother agreed. "Aaron? I really got to go."

Her mind wasn't there while the team was talking. She was just trying to think of where they could be. It clicked once Reid recited Foyet's end of the conversation.

"The gate. The fucking gate. He's going to my house." She blurted. "The one I grew up in."

Immediately she grabbed a pair of keys to one of the SUV's and began heading out the door.

"No, give me the key's you're in no condition to drive." Derek said. "I'll call Hotch."

"Foyet's going to your house Hotch." Derek told him.

"I know." Her father spoke.

"We're sending a full tactical unit. We're on our way."

With that the phone was hung up and Garcia's voice came through to the line they were all connected with. "Foyet's calling Hotch."

"Garcia can you get us on?" Derek asked her.

"Foyet."

"Aaron?" Her mothers shocked voice said. "You're okay? What about Y/n?"

"I'm fine." Hotch said and y/n could tell her father was swallowing his tears. Attempting to make it seem like he was okay. "Y/n's fine as well. She's with the team."

"But.. he said that-" Haley cut herself off. "Oh Aaron."

"He can hear us right?"

"Yes. I am so sorry." her mother apologized and Y/n bit her lip. She felt Spencer place a hand on her back.

"Haley, show him no weakness." Her father told him. "No fear."

"I know, Same told me about him. Is he uh-"

"No Sam is fine." Hotch lied. Sam was indeed very not fine.

"Aaron, Aaron, Aaron." Foyet spoke up. The reality of this situation becoming a lot clearer to Y/n ever second that passed. "Is that why your marriage broke up? Because you're a liar?"

"Don't listen to him Haley."

"I have Sam's service phone right here. They sent out a mass text about his death. You can take a look if you want."

"He's trying to scare you." Her father told her. "Did you even tell her what this was about? About the deal?"

"He's just trying to make you angry."

"Well she should be, she's gonna d-i-e." Foyet spoke up, taunting the family. "Your kids are going to be motherless because of your inflated ego."

"Ignore him Haley." Hotch spoke.

" I'm sure you don't want her to know about this part either." Foyet added. "You know, all he had to do was stop looking for me and you wouldn't be in this mess."

"Don't react."

"What is he talking about?" Haley asked.

"Tell Jack I need him working the case." Y/n knew what that meant. Jack needed to hide. She prayed that he would remember and listen to their father.

"What?" Haley asked confused.

"Tell Jack I need him working the case."

"Did you hear that?" Haley asked her younger brother.

"Hi daddy." Jack spoke into the phone causing Y/n to lurch forward. Her heart ached for her younger brother. His whole world was about to change and he was too innocent for that.

"Hi Buddy." Her dad said voice cracking.

"Is George a bad guy?"

"Yes he is." Hotchner said clearing his throat. "Jack, I need you on this case with me and your sister. Do you understand? We need you to work the case with me."

"Ok daddy." Jack said and Y/n hoped he knew what to do. He was a smart kid, and it was one of his favorite spots to be in when Y/n and Aaron worked on a case at home together.

"Jack, hug your mom for me and sissy okay?" Her dad knew she was listening in. She heard some shuffling and knew Jack was giving Haley a hug for the last time.

"Mommy hug me too tight." Jack said unknowing of the situation at hand.

"I'm sorry." Haley's voice said gently.

"Why are you sad?" Jack asked.

"Oh, I just love you so much." Haley said. "You and your sister are the light of my life."

"Mommy, I gotta go. I'm working the case." Jack told her. Y/n heard Jack's footsteps retreat from the room. She let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. They were still too far away.

"He's so cute." Foyet said. "He's like a little Junior G-Man. I'll be right up, Jackie boy!"

"Is he gone?" Hotch asked her.

"Yes." Haley responded wiping away her tears and sniffling.

"You're so strong, Haley. You're stronger than I ever was." Aaron told her.

"You'll hurry right?" She asked. Y/n looked at Derek almost as if urging the car to go faster and she felt Spencer grab her hand. She'd be squeezing her fist so tight there were imprints left from her nails.

"I know you didn't sign on for this." Her father told her.

"Neither did you."

"I'm sorry for everything." Her father admitted.

"Promise me that you will tell him how we met and how you used to make me laugh." This was her goodbye.

"Haley-"

"He needs to know that you weren't always so serious Aaron. I want him to believe in love because it is the most important thing. But you need to show him. Promise me."

"I promise." Her fathers voice was a whisper. Tears were quietly streaming down her face at this point.

A moment of silence thickened the air, before the sharp sound of 3 gunshots rang out. Y/n broke down in the back of the van letting out a steady stream of quiet tears and flinching at the sound. Derek and Rossi looked back at the girl as Spencer pulled her close letting the girl sob into his shoulder.

"Mom-" She croaked out in barely a whisper. She knew Haley was dead. She knew Foyet would make sure of that. She was in shock at the moment. She didn't want to believe her mother was dead, but she knew that was the case.

The line went dead after the sound of her father throwing the phone and she knew they needed to get to the house as fast as possible.  Morgan sped down the street of her old home, skidding to a stop in front of the house. They found her father relentlessly beating Foyet to death before Morgan wrapped his arms around him and pulled him away.

"Hotch! Hotch!" He yelled. "He's dead. Hotch stop, come on, stop it. It's over, It's over." She watched as her father broke down in Morgans arms. "It's okay it's over man."

Y/n felt her heart in her chest. She couldn't hear, over her heartbeat and her vision was blurred due to the immense amount of tears in her eyes. She felt Spencer's hand on her shoulder and that was all it took to break down. She fell to her knee's being caught along the way by Spencer and began to bawl into his shoulder. His cane fell to the side as he held her close as she broke down into his body.

"Jack-" Y/n said before bolting from the room and into her fathers office. She heard his footsteps behind her. She went to the ottoman that served as a storage unit and opened the lid, not quite knowing what to expect. Her father appeared behind her, a breath of relief escaping both of them to see Jack's face.

"I work the case, just like Daddy said." Jack spoke innocently.

More tears rolled down Y/n's face as she reached into the box to pull her brother out. "Good job Bub" She whispered pulling him into her arms and falling into her dad's embrace.

"What happened to you daddy?"

"I'm okay. I want you to go outside with Ms. Jareau okay?" Hotch told his youngest.

"Come here, sweetheart." J.J. said picking her little brother up and taking her down the stairs.

"Where is she dad?" Y/n asked and slowly they walked into the bedroom where Derek was checking her mothers pulse. She was laying there lifeless, and stained with her own blood.

"I'm so sorry Hotch." Derek whispered and slowly she dropped to her knees next to her mother letting out a sob.Grabbing her hand and falling on top of her not caring. about the blood seeping onto her.

"Mom." She sobbed. "Please, no-"

She knew there was no coming back from this. Still, her mind didn't want to process that the woman who raised her was really gone. It wasn't supposed to happen like this. Her mom was supposed to be there while Jack grew up, and to watch them both get married and become a grandmother.

"Y/n." Hotchner spoke laying a hand on his daughters back.

She let out a flood of tears screaming into her mothers body as her body racked with sobs shaking violently. She let go and fell back into her fathers embrace staring at her mother's lifeless eyes as he hugged her tightly.

"Get out of here." She faintly heard Derek say. "Go see if they need any help downstairs."

___

"She was already gone." Y/n told Strauss looking blankly at the table. "My dad could do nothing for her, but there's not a doubt in my mind that he saved my brother from what Foyet would've done to him. He would be dead as well."

"She died rather quickly." Strauss told her. Y/n flinched at the word. It was still hard to process that her mother was really gone. "She didn't suffer much."

"That doesn't make it right." Y/n snapped before biting her tongue. "I'm sorry-"

"I'm sorry for your loss." Strauss told her. "If there's anything your family needs-"

"Thank you."

Y/n stood up and nodded at the director before walking to the bullpen to be with Jack and the rest of the team again. She sat down next to Spencer as Jack ran to his sister.

"Hi Bub." She said pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"Hi sissy." It wasn't long after that when her father joined and Jack got down from her lap to greet their father in a hug. Reid placed a loving hand on her back and she felt herself relax for the first time in that day into his embrace.

She grabbed his hand subtly and squeezed it tight. I Love you.

He squeezed it back in response and she nodded. I love you too.

[petri808]

Bakudeku canon divergent, vampire quirk AU

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24

When Bakugou finally woke up in the Ena City Hospital, his head was splitting worse than a punch from Kirishima in full quirk, and ears rang with the force of all 108 New Year’s bell tolls. If he’d had no memory of the night before, Bakugou swore he’d just survived the worst hangover in history. Even his eyes hurt from the bright, piercing fluorescent lights and they weren’t even open! He turned his head to the side, noticing how much effort it took just to shift in such a small manner. It was as if his body was drained of... “Ugh, that bastard,” he groaned. ‘Fucker bit me.’ And as if to add insult to injury, a pin-prick pain in his neck revealed itself in that revelation.

His arm flopped up, hand straining with jerky strokes, reaching to touch the fresh bite wound located at the junction of his neck and shoulder. He flinched at the tender, bruising pain that sent a shock down his spine. Son-of— This just in! Pro Hero Dynamite cast in one of those cliché vampire movies that went straight to video. Definitely not the career start he’d envisioned.

“Oh, good you’re finally awake Mr. Bakugou.”

“Who the fuck are you?” he spat at the male voice. “And can someone turn the fucking lights off?!”

“I am Doctor Ishihira, and my apologies,” the doctor flicked off the overhead light. “Is that better?”

“Yeah,” he grumped.

“Mr. Bakugou, you were found yesterday morning and brought in suffering from hypovolemic shock due to severe blood loss and dehydration. We’ve treated you with 3 liters of IV fluids and blood plasma to bring your numbers back up, however you’ll still be groggy until your body replenishes the nutrients you were stripped of.”

Over a day had passed! At hearing he’d been out cold for so long, Bakugou immediately clenched his fists, swearing up and down about being released until they threatened to sedate him for longer. Longer?! He begrudgingly relented and settled down, but damn it! That meant Midoriya had another head start on him again! And now that the man knew he was on his trail, finding him would be a lot more difficult!

“What the hell is hypo-whatever shock?” Bakugou questioned.

“When you were found, you were in and out of consciousness and rambling incoherently, all signs of severe blood loss. The fatigue you’re still feeling is also due to the effects of it. Luckily the amount of loss wasn’t enough to start shutting down your organs.”

The doctor continued explaining a few more details regardless of the tantrum like a robot. Minor injuries he’d been treated for. The obvious puncture wounds in his neck, questioning Bakugou about any description he could provide of his attacker. He wasn’t about to tell this doctor or any authority figure who the true culprit was, so he feigned a temporary retrograde amnesia. Based on a raised brow, peering over his glass’s expression, the doctor didn’t look very convinced. Oh well, Bakugou really didn’t care about the man’s opinion.

“Mr. Bakugou, we also called you parents…”

“You what?!” Bakugou tried to jump off the bed, but his body absolutely refused to respond and ended up flopping like a dying fish. Ugh! He really was worse off than he’d thought.

“I’m sorry, but you are a minor, so we were obligated to do so. However, they did give us permission to treat and release you on your own recognizance once we felt you were better.”

Well, that was good news. ‘Sounds like mom actually listened to my letter.’ Or the authorities surely would have shown up by now. “Ugh! So, how much longer am I stuck here?”

“If you continue to recover well, tomorrow morning.”

Fuck! Now a three-day head start! Just great, he groaned. Midoriya could get far away with that kind of a jump start. “Fine, whatever! Now go the fuck away.”

The doctor left the room after explaining how nurses will be monitoring his progress, but to also let them know if anything started to feel worse. They needed to know if he developed any lasting effects from organ damage. Once he was alone again, Bakugou rolled gingerly onto his side as his mind processed the new information. Whatever Midoriya had been hit with must be the cause of this weird blood thirst that resembled a goddamn vampire plot line. Perhaps the significance of the blood coloring in his eyes was a sign of that thirst taking hold? That’ll be a handy tell, too bad it seemed to appear within seconds of the next step.

But if Midoriya had just fed on a victim, and history showed at times, a span of days before the next incident, what had caused his friend to attack him so fast? Was this thirst like a hunger? And what happens when you exercise or exert yourself? You use up energy. ‘Duh, Katsuki.’ Fighting and expending all that energy must have triggered the attack. ‘Wow, it burns fast.’ That meant Midoriya probably struggled to control this thirst, and that’s why he was pleading for him to leave him alone. But sorry, he couldn’t do that. ‘Fucker shouldn’t have run!’ One way or another he is getting his friend back home where he belonged. In fact, this only made his drive to find Midoriya stronger because he felt like he was partially to blame for the predicament his friend was in. The guy had to be scared, freaked out, and lonely. Bakugou’s heart clenched at the thought. He knew his friend was a social person by nature who loved being around friends and family. To be stuck out here all by himself and too frightened because of whatever this new quirk was had to be horrible… and utterly not fair. Of course, he did have a tendency to isolate himself when he feared…

Bakugou groaned. “Kami, not again with this shit!” When was Midoriya gonna learn to stop running away!

As his eyes relented to the fatigue and his mind slipped back into unconsciousness, Bakugou could only pray he’ll get a lead as soon as he got out of this hospital. This strange new quirk, if that’s really what it was, posed a serious danger not only to Midoriya, but the public. The reputation of pro hero’s had taken a major hit already because of AFO and the league, so if the public found out about a blood drinking hero attacking people… ‘I gotta get you out of here…’

After his encounter with Bakugou, Midoriya had rushed out of town as quickly as possible. Tears poured down his cheeks as he took off into the sky from having given in to the lust of this uncontrollable quirk. But he couldn’t stop it even if he’d wanted to. He’d learned the hard way right at the beginning that once it took hold of his mind, the only thing he could do was give-in or succumb to an even worse ravenous state that literally hurt. The pain of holding out on the hunger made him feel like a starved predatory animal that tore at his insides until he relented. In this state, the blood of any creature that came too close became a meal. But it was never enough. Animal blood didn’t satiate him in the same way that human blood did. Plus, he worried that if he let it get completely out of control, he might just end up killing someone. So far, he’d been lucky to leave them all unconscious but alive.

It was obvious that the light AFO had hit him with contained this strange quirk. How ironic, to take down a villain, only to be turned into one. That’s how Midoriya felt. How else could he feel? A hero wouldn’t hurt other people, so by taking the blood of others for sustenance, that made him a villain. Therefore, he couldn’t be a hero anymore. It must have been AFO’s plan all along once he’d realized he was losing. The villains end goal was to ruin hero society and this was definitely one way to do it. Take out his primary rival. The man poised to carry on a torch of safety and security, and snuff out any who chose to do harm… The whole situation with Bakugou really turned this into a nightmare out of body experience. To see his friend’s eyes suddenly show fear, then fade away the more he drank… his mouth clamped to the man’s neck… it was a horrible imagine that was sure to haunt him. He could still smell the burnt cinnamon from such a close encounter. If only he had clothes to change into or even a pond to bathe in, because that lingering scent was gonna drive him mad!

Midoriya curled up and clenched his eyes shut tight in an abandoned and overgrown castle he’d found outside of Ena. It didn’t look like it’s been maintained for a very long time, so the likelihood of a human showing up seemed low. He knew he should have travelled farther away, but he was too tired, too upset and just wanted to quit. All the years of growing up quirkless, to gain OFA and become the very thing he’d dreamt of, only for those dreams to be dashed again. It was as if life just didn’t want him to be a real hero. Maybe he should just put himself out of his misery, and yet— he couldn’t do it. To die out here alone where no one knew where he was or what had become of him, that wasn’t fair to his family and friends…

They must be so worried about him right now. His poor mother didn’t deserve any of this. Would his friends look down on him now? And All Might, his idol, who’d taken him under his wing, was he disappointed? And that just left Bakugou. He’d said the truth in answering the man’s question. No, Midoriya never would have expected him to come looking. Katsuki Bakugou giving a damn about him? Yeah, right. Bakugou wasn’t doing this because he cared. There was always a selfish reason behind his madness. Fear. Anger. Jealousy. Shouldn’t big bad Dynamight be thrilled that his biggest rival was gone?

Okay that was a big, fat white lie he’d been telling himself for the last two years. He knew Bakugou had moved past those pettier behaviors, but it was simply easier to believe and keep their relationship as rivals than to hope his childhood friend would ever see him as something else. And yet… ‘Kacchan was genuinely surprised by my answer. Did he really come looking for me because he cared that much?’ Yet in what way? Why was the man trying so hard? Did he… ‘miss me?’

Midoriya shook his head violently of those thoughts. No, no, he didn’t want to believe that because it would make this situation even more unbearable than it already was! He’d already given up everything he’d ever loved. His hopes and dreams, a future and losing an affection he’d craved for years would just simply be too much.

[hangrypa]

s/p first year as a PA

I was hired as a hospitalist primarily for the transplant service. However, in the setting of the pandemic and staffing shortages, I am all over the place now and work in almost everything non-pediatric and non-surgical. 

In my first few months as a PA, I was incredibly overwhelmed. I went from being a learner who switches specialties every month to a fully-fledged provider making life-or-death decisions on an hourly basis. Oftentimes I’d find myself in the room of a patient actively crumping, surrounded by the patient’s family and multiple nurses awaiting instructions on what to do to save the patient. I thought that I faced a lot of pressure in school, but it was nothing compared to this. 

And just when I started to get a hang of it all, the pandemic hit. What a nightmare. As mentioned above, I was hired to work with with transplant patients. Prior to the pandemic, my transplant colleagues and I were masking and gowning for almost every patient: 1 surgical mask and 1 gown per patient and per patient encounter. But once COVID hit, we were rationing PPE. 1 N95, 1 pair of goggles, and 1 face shield for the pandemic. 1 surgical mask per week, and 1 gown only if a patient had Cdiff or a history of MDRO bacteremia.

What did the pandemic mean for our transplant patients? 

Our patients are on immunosuppressant medications to prevent transplant rejection. Unfortunately, this makes it difficult for them to fight infections. 

Our department did what it could to prevent COVID. We'd test patients on admission for COVID, regardless of symptoms or exposure history. If they were positive, they went to the COVID team and quarantined on their unit for a period of time and had to test negative before returning to our unit and being transplanted. We took many other measures to reduce COVID risk to the best of our ability. 

People still died. To see someone get transplanted successfully and then die of a virus is horrifying. Unfortunately, despite our admission tests, sometimes patients contracted COVID within the hospital. Patients would be happily FaceTiming their family one moment, telling them all of their plans for once they were discharged- then the next day they'd be intubated. We tried Remdesivir, Dexamethasone, prone positioning, etc. But the virus moved through them quickly, and these efforts often were too late. No amount of hoping and praying brought them back. 

As a first year PA, I learned to go to an empty conference room, close the door, and remove my mask before calling to the family of the deceased. This way, as they gathered around the phone in their homes, the family could hear me unmuffled as I delivered the news. Also, this way my tears didn't ruin my mask for the rest of the week. 

I learned a lot this year. It's been a mixture of crying and laughing. There are times that I question why I ever became a PA, and then there are times when this career feels like home. In addition to transplant, I’ve also been working in the  ED, IMC, ICU, inpatient hospice, clinic, and infusion center these past 6 months. I’ve learned quite a lot along the way.

Lessons learned as a first year PA:

1. Check your pager hourly: This is in addition to checking it whenever you get paged. Sometimes I’ll get paged while I’m rounding, read it, and then forget about it. Now I go through my pager at every hour to ensure that I already responded to all my pages and then answer ones that I missed/forgot.  On a semi-related note, a while back I wrote about good paging etiquette.

2. Let people know when you're out: I work a rotating schedule. As a result, it’s hard to predict when I’m in or out of the hospital. Sometimes I’ll come back on service and find urgent emails or texts that are a few days old. Now I leave an away message with my return date and my supervisor’s contact information on both email and hospital text. If someone really needs to get a hold of me, my supervisor has my personal cell phone number.

3. Be conscientious of what time you consult: I generally try to get all of my nonurgent consults done before 3pm. Many services have only 1 resident covering after 3pm, so I try not to page/call unless I have an emergency. 

4. Call the nurse if something needs to be done urgently: Being a nurse means being the ultimate multitasker. Room 5 is due for his IV Amphotericin, Room 2's Foley is supposed to come out prior to void trial with Urology, Room 1's infusion completed and is beeping, and Room 4 is a bit altered and yanked out her PICC. Now I’m placing an order for Room 3 to get IV Lasix due to concern for pulmonary edema. However, the nurse may be preoccupied with Room 4 and not see the order in the computer for some time. If I really need to the patient to get the Lasix right way, I’ll place the order through EMR and then call the nurse and see what their situation is. If they’re crazy busy with Room 4 and likely to be unable to get to the Lasix within the next 15min, I ask whether they’re okay with me asking another nurse to give the Lasix now. Usually the answer is yes.

5. Value your nurses: Nurses know the patient best. They’re the ones answering call bells, giving meds, doing dressing changes, etc. Unfortunately they oftentimes bear the brunt of everyone’s frustrations, from patients to patients’ families to attendings to managers. Not to mention, they’re the ones doing the dirty work. Bedside nurses are the heartbeat of healthcare, but they also are high risk for burnout. Always support your nurses, whether that’s volunteering to answer a patient’s family member’s 17th phone call of the day or responding to a patient’s call bell yourself. 

6. Know how to get a hold of someone quickly: It’s less than ideal to page someone repeatedly. At my hospital, if I need to talk to an attending urgently, I call the operator and ask them to connect me directly to the attending’s cell phone. If a patient is crashing and we’re not in the ICU, I dial the emergency number and call a rapid response, which sends people running into my patient’s room. 

7. Plan your discharge meds from Day 1: The goal of every admission is to treat the patient and then discharge them safely. Send medications early for prior auth and call the pharmacy to make sure that they have medications in stock. (One time a patient’s insurance didn’t cover Levofloxacin, of all things.) 

8. Keep social work and care coordination aware of all needs from the start: Does your patient looks unsteady? Place a PT/OT consult and let social work and care coordination know that the patient might require home therapy services and/or DME so that they can start looking at services and companies that may be covered by insurance. Does your patient have a central line? They’ll likely need a home health service to teach them how to care for it daily at home. Do they seem to require frequent transfusions? They’ll probably need labs on discharge. Is the patient’s living situation safe (no heat/AC, possible abuse at home, financial difficulties, etc)? They may need alternative housing.

9. The attending is not always right: Generally speaking, the attending has the last say on how the team manages a patient. However, I’ve come across situations in which an attending’s decision put a patient in more danger. Sometimes asking them about their decision can help steer the care plan toward better patient care. Other times you just have to stand your ground and be okay with being on the receiving end of an attending’s misdirected rant. Report these instances to your manager and to other higher-ups.

10. Always have gloves in your pocket: You never know when you’ll find a mess. Or which part of the body someone asks you to examine. Or how hygienic a person is (or is not).

11. Verify weird vitals: I was very new when I walked into work, opened a patient’s chart, and promptly bolted down the hallway when I saw a patient’s O2 sats recorded as 15-20s. I found the patient sitting up in bed, eating breakfast, and bewildered by me bursting into the room. Turns out that overnight someone mistakenly recorded his respirations as the O2 sats.

12. Remove whatever tubes you can: Anything entering the body is an infection risk. Does your patient still need that Foley placed by the surgery team? No? Yank it (don’t actually yank because ouch). Is your patient A&O and able to eat without aspirating? Remove the NG tube. Does your patient have good veins and require infrequent transfusions/labwork? Pull their central line.

13. Take a buddy with you to emergencies: Two heads are better than one. Even if you’re a seasoned provider and well-equipped to manage an emergency, you might need another body to help with performing CPR, making urgent calls, grabbing supplies, etc. 

14. Ask your patients about premeds for procedures: We all have different levels of pain tolerance. A procedure goes far more smoothly if your patient is comfortable. Note: if you’re going to premed with Ativan or an opiate in the outpatient setting, make sure they have a driver.

15. Be good to your charge nurse and unit secretary: I don’t know how they do it. If I had to manage the unit’s signout, patient complaints, calls from other floor, being yelled at by providers, verifying paper orders, and finding beds for incoming patients- all at the same time - I’d lose my mind. 

16. If your patient is mad, just shut up and listen: There are many things that you can’t control: the time it takes for a patient to get a room, the temperature of hospital food, the dismissive attitude of your attending, etc. And oftentimes the patient knows this. My reflex is to want to apologize for things and overexplain why different things are happening. But sometimes the patient just needs to rant. Take a step back and just listen. That can make all the difference.

17. Fact check your notes: The framework for your progress note often is the note from the day prior. It sounds obvious, but make sure that you go through the note and make updates and changes accordingly. If today is 01/15, there’s a good chance that the Fungitell from 12/31 is not still pending. 

18. Try to learn some nursing skills: This is one of the areas in which I most envy my NP colleagues. If a patient’s IV pump is beeping or their central line need to be flushed, I oftentimes awkwardly step out of the room and look vacantly into the distance for a nurse. I’ve finally figured out how to spike a bag (albeit I do so very slowly, and it certainly makes the RNs giggle some). I talked to our unit’s nurse manager, and she’s willing for me to learn some nursing skills from the staff during a slow day- we’ll see when thing slow down!

19. Be kind: Generally speaking, being in a hospital is stressful. Patients are feeling out of sorts, and staff are working with constant dinging in the background. I rant plenty on this website, but I’m kind to everyone at work (with few exceptions) because it makes things more comfortable for everyone. Additionally, if you are always kind to your patients and colleagues, your reputation will speak for itself. One time I was walking down a hall with poor reception while on my ASCOM with a notoriously standoffish nurse from another unit. My phone cut out. She called my unit’s nurse manager to complain, and the nurse manager told her that I would never hang up on purpose. My interactions with the nurse going forward were always more pleasant in nature.

20. Support your team: The best colleagues are not the smartest colleagues; the best coworkers are the ones who have your back. Whether it’s a medical emergency or just a strange situation, it’s important to be supported and to give support.

I know that I’ve learned a lot more than this, so I’ll likely be adding to this throughout the year. Happy Snow Day, all!

[emy-loves-you]

Wrong Numbers and Useless Gays Chapter 9

Merry Christmas!

Chapter 8 | Masterlist | Chapter 10

Warnings: Crying, Virgil getting teased for basically being a sugar daddy, Logan attempting to deny his ever-growing chocolate addiction

P- (10:00 AM) Happy First Day of Christmas!

R- (10:01 AM) On the First Day of Christmas my true love gave to me

R- (10:01 AM) A Partridge in a Pear Tree

V- (10:02 AM) Okay first of all the 12 days of Christmas are December 25th to January 5th. The partridge is supposed to represent Jesus, whose birthday marks the 1st day.

V- (10:02 AM) Second of all, why isn’t Logan pointing out that Christmas is in 24 days, like he did with me for Halloween?

L- (10:03 AM) No comment.

R- (10:03 AM) Didn’t strike you for the religious type, storm cloud. And Logan won’t say anything because he gets a homemade chocolate Christmas calendar.

V- (10:04 AM) I had a very religious English teacher. And seriously, Lo? I gave you chocolate weekly and you STILL reprimanded my “Days of Halloween” until the chocolate bouquet. How much chocolate are they giving you?

L- (10:04 AM) No. Comment.

P- (10:05 AM) [*Photo attachment*]

[The photo is of a giant wooden calendar leading up to December 25th. It’s painted white with red doors covering the days. It’s obviously been used for many years. The 1st day is open, and there is a gallon-sized container of truffles next to the calendar. The container is half-empty]

V- (10:06 AM) L, please tell me you didn’t just eat half that container of truffles in 5 minutes.

L- (10:06 AM) NO. COMMENT.

R- (10:06 AM) He did it in 3.

L- (10:06 AM) TRAITOR!

V- (10:07 AM) IF YOU’RE THAT ADDICTED TO CHOCOLATE WHY WERE YOU MAD ABOUT THE BOUQUETS?!?!

L- (10:07 AM) BECAUSE I’M PRETTY SURE YOU SPENT $150 ON THEM!

V- (10:07 AM) IT WAS $118!

P- (10:08 AM) Kiddo, you don’t have to spend that much money on us!

V- (10:08 AM) I know, but it makes me really happy to spoil you guys!

V- (10:08 AM) Speaking of which, what do you guys want for Christmas?

R- (10:09 AM) Give us a moment

R- (10:09 AM) Last time you asked this I jokingly said “Katana” and you actually BOUGHT ONE

R- (10:09 AM) Now we actually have to think about what we want.

Virgil snorted, pocketing his phone. He didn’t have anything planned for today, so he went about sketching. He decided to do some elaborate snowflakes, each with their own unique design. He felt his phone go off several times in a row, so he quickly picked it up and scrolled through Princey’s rant.

R- (10:15 AM) We have made our decisions

R- (10:15 AM) Patton would like one of your more elaborate sketches. Something that makes you smile. If you need to buy him something, he would greatly appreciate some new cooking supplies or some stuffed animals.

R- (10:15 AM) Logan would like a new telescope. His original one broke a few days ago and he hasn’t found the time to get a new one. Some chocolate would also be appreciated.

R- (10:15 AM) And I would like a new set of headphones and anything Disney related.

R- (10:16 AM) But if you are going to buy anything for us, please let us return the favor. I understand your desire to not meet, but the thought of you giving us gifts with nothing in return is pure torture.

Virgil bit his lip, a habit he’d quickly developed after he met these guys. He’s already known them for over 6 months, and they’ve shown no signs of recognizing him or trying to use him. In fact, they’ve done the exact opposite. They respect his want to remain faceless; and while they do like the gifts that he gives them, they discourage him from spending more than he’s comfortable with (what they don’t realize is that he’d try and buy them the world if they asked for it). Virgil sighed (another habit that he's started partaking in more and more) and sent a quick response.

V- (10:17 AM) If I send you my address, do you promise to not try and come over while I’m home?

R- (10:17 AM) We swear on our honor that we will only visit when you are not home, and even then it will be to deliver gifts.

Before Virgil could second-guess himself, he already had his address in the group chat.

P- (10:18 AM) I didn’t realize you lived so close to us, Kiddo!

L- (10:18 AM) Indeed. I have also yet to meet anyone in this city named Virgil.

V- (10:19 AM) Yeah, I don’t really get out much and even then I don’t share my name.

R- (10:19 AM) Well, now that we have a place to send gifts, here comes the question: what would you like for Christmas, JDelightful?

V- (10:21 AM) I mean, new art supplies would be nice. If it helps, I love Nightmare Before Christmas and my favorite colors are black and purple

R- (10:21 AM) Alright, Storm Cloud. We’ll let you know when we’re ready to deliver your gifts!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(December 18th)

“Remus, Darling, what is that monstrosity in your hands?”

Virgil looked up from his map. They were currently in Aventura Mall, the largest shopping mall in Florida. They liked to come here every year for Christmas shopping, and they had a small set of stores that they went to each time. But Virgil had a longer list this year, so he needed a map to tell him where the other stores were. In front of him stood Janus and Remus. Remus appeared to be holding a pile of condiments. “It’s a hotdog,” he said. He took a bite out of the top, clearly missing the hotdog. Virgil noticed that the inside of the condiment pile was white, and he couldn’t tell if it was mayonnaise, marshmallow fluff, sour cream, or whipped cream. Knowing Remus, it could be any of them, or even a combination of the four. Virgil suddenly wasn’t curious anymore, or hungry.

“Come on, the first store’s just up ahead.” They made their way to the first store, which had one of Virgil’s gifts for Patton.

“Virgil, why are we stopping here? It’s not like we have a very specific set of stores we visit every year.”

Virgil’s eyes were suddenly glued to the sale in front of him, his cheeks bright red. “I just have a few more items on my list this year, that’s all.”

“Oh? May we see?” Virgil nodded, covering the section for Janus and Remus’ gifts before showing them his list.

They stared at the list for a while before Remus burst into giggles. “You really are their Sugar Daddy, aren’t ya?”

Virgil’s face grew even redder, if possible. He quickly turned back to the sale, grabbing what he wanted before making a beeline to the next aisle. “Shut up, Remus. I just like buying stuff for them, that’s all.”

“Right, and that’s definitely not the literal definition of a Sugar Daddy.” Janus replied, picking up one of the items in fake interest. Virgil was going to respond, he really was, but he got a text and he’d rather talk to his crushes than try and explain himself to these knuckleheads.

P- (2:36 PM) Hey, Kiddo! Are you home right now?

V- (2:37 PM) No, I’m at the mall right now. Probably won’t be home until around 8.

P- (2:37 PM) Alright, just wondering! Have a nice time!

Virgil fondly rolled his eyes, going back to the items on his list. The list wasn’t long enough for 5 hours worth of shopping, but Janus will probably want him to come over after their trip. Speaking of Janus, Virgil tuned out the giggling idiots behind him. He’d try and dissuade them from making “Sugar Daddy” comments later; right now, he needed to compare these prices.

Just as Virgil expected, they finished shopping at around 5 and Janus insisted that Virgil stay over for a while. Virgil tried to be as dramatic as possible, summoning his inner Princey as he ‘begrudgingly’ agreed to come over. They hung out for a few more hours, making snarky comments and discussing Virgil’s new “Sugar Daddy” title. Time flew by and before Virgil knew it, he was getting a text from Patton.

P- (7:34 PM) Hey, Kiddo! I just dropped off a box on your back porch. It has wrapped presents from the three of us and my homemade chicken n’ dumplings! I hope you enjoy them (we’re eating them on Christmas Eve) and don’t open your presents until Christmas morning! Hope you like them!

V- (7:35 PM) I’m sure I will, Patton. Thank you

P- (7:35 PM) No problem, Kiddo!

Virgil asked Janus to give him a ride home and sure enough, a large box stood on his back porch. Inside were three wrapped gifts and a closed Tupperware container. Virgil quickly brought the box inside, putting the container in the fridge and the presents under the tree. The three presents were the same size, with red, blue or silver wrapping paper. It was quite obvious who each gift was from, and they were probably all in the same standard boxes. Virgil smiled, going to wrap presents for his crushes.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(December 25th)

Virgil woke up to his alarm going off at 10 AM. Which was weird, since he almost always woke up before his alarm went off. His mind went back to last night, with the heavenly taste of chicken n’ dumplings and enough Christmas puns to send Virgil back into a giggle-fest. He slowly got up, meandering his way out to the living room. He quickly sent a text to the group chat.

V- (10:02 AM) Merry Christmas, guys

P- (10:02 AM) MERRY CHRISTMAS, KIDDO!

R- (10:02 AM) MERRY CHRISTMAS, STORM CLOUD!

L- (10:03 AM) Merry Christmas, Virgil.

R- (10:03 AM) Now that you’re up, we can open our presents!

V- (10:03 AM) How long have you guys been up?

L- (10:04 AM) They both woke up at 6 AM. I convinced them to wait for you to wake naturally before opening presents, since most of these gifts were from you.

V- (10:04 AM) Alright, then. Let’s get to opening these gifts.

Virgil decided to wait until the others opened their gifts before opening his. He already knew what he got them, but he had no idea what they got from each other.

R- (10:10 AM) [*Photo Attachment*]

[The photo is of a wrapping paper massacre. In the center of the massacre are a set of gifts. The first one is a red pillow with the name ROMAN embroidered in gold letters, probably from Patton. The next gift is a book about the history of musicals, most likely from Logan. Virgil had gotten him a sleek set of headphones and a stack of Disney t-shirts. The headphones were red with gold stars on the ears and the word PRINCEY written in silver.]

P- (10:11 AM) [*Photo Attachment*]

[The photo is also of a wrapping paper massacre with several presents. There were two Winnie the Pooh posters from Roman and a new cookbook from Logan. From Virgil, there was a set of stainless steel cookware, a light blue stuffed dog, and 4 of Virgil's snowflake sketches. Each snowflake had small details that pertained to a specific person, such as crowns, hearts, stars, and storm clouds.]

L- (10:12 AM) [*Photo Attachment*]

[The photo has all of the wrapping paper neatly set off to the side. There was a navy blue pillow with Logan's name embroidered in silver from Patton. There were several posters of different galaxies from Roman. Virgil had gotten him a large metal telescope and several boxes of chocolate. The telescope was navy blue with silver accents.]

P- (10:12 AM) I LOVE THESE! THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH!

R- (10:12 AM) THESE ARE FANTASTIC! YOU ALL HAVE MY DEEPEST GRATITUDE.

L- (10:13 AM) I also appreciate the gifts, but VIRGIL HOW MUCH DID YOU SPEND?

V- (10:13 AM) No comment ;)

P- (10:14 AM) Did you open your presents, Kiddo?

Virgil turned back to the three boxes, an anxious pit in his stomach. What did they get him? He carefully unwrapped each present. Like he suspected, each present was a standard cardboard box that was taped shut. He turned to Logan's present first. The box contained a new set of art supplies and a sketch pad with a dark purple cover. The first page had a note that read:

"I sincerely enjoy your drawings. The one of the night skies was particularly pleasing. I look forward to seeing more of your art in the future. - Logan"

Virgil blushed at the compliment, turning to Roman's gift. Inside were several Nightmare Before Christmas posters and plushies, with a note explaining that he had bought the posters back in August because "they reminded me of you, storm cloud."

Blushing even more, Virgil turned to Patton's present. When he first opened the box, it looked like a pile of fabric. When he picked it up, however, he was shocked. It was a black hoodie with hand-sewn purple patches. The name “Virgil” was embroidered into one of the patches. Virgil immediately put it on. It was loose and slightly baggy, different from the tight black jacket that he wore as Anxiety. He loved it. Virgil went to text a response when he saw something sticking out of the hoodie pocket. He grabbed the note and felt tears forming in his eyes. It was actually a card, the front saying UR FAM. The inside had a giant heart with the letters ILY. Virgil knew that it was just a pun on family, that this wasn’t actually a confession of love, but a tiny part of him hoped that this meant what he thought it meant.

But he would never tell them that. No, the last thing he wanted was to ruin their friendship. He shakily grabbed his phone and blindly pressed send photo, wanting to send a picture of the gifts like they did. As he angled the camera to show off all of the gifts, he started muttering to himself. “God, these are perfect. It’s all perfect. Goddammit, Virgil, stop crying.” He quickly took the photo and hit send, still misty-eyed from the gifts. Sure, he had gotten gifts from Janus and Remus, but they had never sent such personal gifts, much less heartfelt notes! He quickly wiped his eyes when he felt his phone buzz. He went to check the messages when he felt his heart stop. “Oh Shit.”

V- (10:19 AM) [*Video Sent*]

P- (10:20 AM) Virgil, sweety, why are you crying?

L- (10:20 AM) I believe that Virgil is feeling “emotional.”

R- (10:21 AM) That’s alright, Storm Cloud. There’s nothing wrong with crying when you’re happy! You are happy, right?

Virgil had sent a video. Where he bawled his eyes out and muttered nonsense to the camera. God, Virgil had never wanted to stop existing more than he did now.

V- (10:21 AM) I’m happy, Princey. Embarrassed, but definitely happy.

R- (10:22 AM) No need to feel embarrassed, my Raven. After all, you’ve given us so much over the past few months. Knowing that our gifts made you THAT happy is… quite nice. We care about you, Virgil. It’s nice to be able to show you in ways beyond words.

V- (10:23 AM) Thanks, guys. It means a lot to me.

L- (10:23 AM) It was no issue, Virgil. Now, weren’t you planning on going to your friend’s house today?

V- (10:24 AM) Yeah, I should be going soon. Thanks guys, and Merry Christmas

L- (10:24 AM) Merry Christmas, Virgil.

P- (10:24 AM) Merry Christmas, Kiddo!

R- (10:24 AM) Merry Christmas, Storm Cloud!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Taglist: @bisexualdisaster106 @self-taught-mess @itawalrus @arodynamic-enby @sanderssides-angst

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #94: Astolfo

Happy 2021! To celebrate the new year, we’re giving y’all this one a day early. Our research team has shown that “with Astolfo” is the best way to celebrate any holiday.

Today on Fate and Phantasms we’re making everyone’s favorite nonbinary and Ereshkigal’s main squeeze, Astolfo; the knight of evaporated reason! They have a ton of Noble Phantasms accumulated from their adventures, so you’ll have plenty of fun stuff to do with this build.

Check out their build breakdown below the cut, or their character sheet over here!

Next up: Ooh child, things are gonna get easier.

Race and Background

Astolfo is a Human, despite their otherwise unexplained Monstrous Strength. This gives them +1 to all stats. They’re also a Knight of the Order, “the Order” being the Twelve Paladins of Charlemagne. This gives them Persuasion and History proficiency. Astolfo is a leader, and they’re literally a part of history (In FGO. Assume Orlando Furioso is an accurate history book at your own peril).

Ability Scores

Make Charisma your highest score; Astolfo is the heart of the party, and can inspire even other servants to greater acts of heroism than they accomplished in life. Second is your Strength; one of your personal skills is all about how strong you are, and you need to be able to haul a lance around for a couple levels before you get your mount. Third is Constitution- you took a trip to the moon, so you’re probably really good at holding your breath. After that is Dexterity- that’s not really heavy armor you’re wearing. Your Intelligence is a little low; you’re not really stupid, per se, but you don’t think your actions through that often. Finally, dump Wisdom. “Evaporated Sanity” does not a cleric make.

Class Levels

1. Paladin 1: Yes, we’re making the paladin a paladin. Look, later builds are going to make me figure out how to put a jetpack in someone’s butt in a medieval fantasy setting, let me have the obvious ones. This gives you proficiency in Wisdom and Charisma saves, as well as Insight and Athletics. Despite your evaporated sanity, you’re really good at reading people, and you can hang onto a hippogriff mid-flight.

You also have a Divine Sense, letting you sense celestials, fiends, and undead within 60′ of you as an action. You can also Lay on Hands as an action to heal a creature you touch, with a maximum of 5 times your paladin level HP to hand out per long rest. You can also spend 5 hit points from the feature to end a disease or poison effect.

2. Paladin 2: Second level paladins get a Fighting Style. Great Weapon Fighting will make your lance a little less unwieldy by letting you re-roll a one or two on damage when using a two-handed weapon. Technically this doesn’t work with lances, as they have the “special” property, not the “two-handed” property, but honestly your DM should have some pity on you, you’re using a weapon that comes with disadvantage on most of its attacks.

You also can use spell slots to create Divine Smites at this level, spending magical energy for more powerful attacks. Speaking of spell slots, you can also use those to cast Spells if you really want to, preparing and casting them using your Charisma score. Spells like Heroism turns one creature you target into basically you, gaining temporary hit points each turn and having immunity to being frightened. You can also use a Thunderous Smite for an early Trap of Argalia, knocking your target prone if they fail a strength saving throw with a DC of 8 plus your charisma modifier plus your proficiency bonus. They also get thrown a good 10′ away, which is a solid unhorsing if ever I saw one.

3. Paladin 3: At third level, you become the envy of Okitas everywhere with your Divine Health, making you immune to disease. You also take up a Sacred Oath, a promise you’ll uphold to your dying breath, which for you is every promise. That’s why you’re an Oath of Devotion paladin. When you take the class, you gain the oath spells Protection from Evil and Good and Sanctuary, protecting one creature from extraplanar enemies by imposing disadvantage or from any enemies by forcing a wisdom save respectively. 

You also gain one use of Channel Divinity per short rest, which can be used in one of two ways. Sacred Weapon empowers your Lance, adding your charisma modifier to attack rolls and making the weapon magical for the duration of a minute. Turn the Unholy is similar to Turn Undead, though it works on fiends and undead, and only forces them to flee from you if they fail a wisdom save.

4. Paladin 4: Use your first Ability Score Improvement to round out your Strength and Dexterity for stronger attacks and less getting attacked.

5. Paladin 5: You get an Extra Attack per attack action, but also gain access to second level spells! Lesser Restoration can heal a target of various diseases or conditions like blinded, deafened, paralyzed or poisoned. You can also make a Zone of Truth to force others to tell the truth if they fail a charisma save. Other spells to look at include Magic Weapon so you don’t have to use your Channel Divinity to pierce through enemy defenses and Warding Bond for dramatic heroic sacrifices.

6. Paladin 6: At sixth level you recover the first pages of the Luna Break Manual with Astolfo’s Aura of Protection. Any ally (including themself) within 10′ of them can add your Charisma modifier to any save they make. Suddenly your wisdom saves aren’t nearly as bad as they were before.

7. Paladin 7: The pages keep coming with your Aura of Devotion, making yourself and any allies within 10′ of you immune to being charmed. Look at your bard, now back to me. Now back to your bard, now back to me. Sadly, their countercharm isn’t this, but if they stopped being a bard and took seven levels in paladin they could block charms like this.

8. Paladin 8: Use this ASI to bump up your Charisma for more powerful protections and stronger spells.

9. Paladin 9: Ninth level paladins get third level spells, like your oath spells, Beacon of Hope and Dispel Magic. The former will make your and your allies’ wisdom saves even stronger, and boosts your death saves and healing as well for up to a minute. The latter is yet another addition to your Luna Break Manual, breaking down any spells you come across, not just charms on you and your friends. You can also pick up Remove Curse for yet another way to destroy magical effects on your party.

10. Paladin 10: At tenth level, your Aura of Courage shuts down any frightening effects used on allies within 10′ of you. You’re basically a nightmare to any status-effect dependent creatures now.

11. Paladin 11: Your Improved Divine Smite adds a bit of radiant damage to all your attacks, for an even shinier weapon.

12. Paladin 12: Use this ASI to get the Mounted Combatant Feat, and use Martial Versatility to swap your fighting style to Dueling. These are secret tools that will help us later. The feat gives you advantage on attacks against unmounted creatures smaller than your mount, and you can redirect attacks at your mount to you instead. Your mount also gets its own evasion for extra survivability. Dueling adds 2 to a melee weapon’s damage if you’re using it one-handed, and thankfully it works with a mounted lance without having to fudge anything.

13. Paladin 13: Thirteenth level paladins get fourth level spells, like your oath spells Freedom of Movement and Guardian of Faith. Astolfo has kind of a Roger Rabbit-esque relationship with shackles, and calling on a friend never hurt. Well, it will hurt the people it attacks, just not you. More importantly, you can Find Greater Steeds, like a Griffon! The summoned creatures is a celestial, fey, or fiend, and it has an enhanced intelligence so it can understand you. You can communicate telepathically with them while you’re within a mile, and you can target yourself and your mount with a single spell. The creature disappears when it hits 0 HP, but you can re-summon it by casting the spell again.

We know it’s not a Hippogriff, but those are much weaker in D&D. Trust me, you do not want a flying mount with only 19 HP, especially since we’re not getting feather fall for another level.

14. Bard 1: We’ve got two of your Noble Phantasms, but we need to make a class change to pick up your third. Multiclassing into bard nets you performance proficiency, which will be handy when you’re actually playing La Black Luna. You also gain another set of Spells that use your Charisma to cast-check the multiclassing table to figure out how many spell slots you have at each level. You also get Bardic Inspiration, d6s you can hand out to other party members to aid them in saves, checks, and attack rolls. You get a number of these dice per long rest equal to your charisma modifier, and you can hand them out one at a time as a bonus action.

For your spells, pick up Friends and Vicious Mockery as your cantrips. Astolfo’s easy to get along with, but they’re also incredibly good at telling you exactly what you don’t want people to talk about. Also, pick up Animal Friendship and Speak with Animals for more Griffon fun, Earth Tremor for yet another way to knock people on their ass, and Feather Fall for when your mount is inevitably shot out from under you 1000′ in the air. Is it an ability Astolfo has? No. Is it something you should absolutely pick up before getting on a griffon anyway? Absolutely.

15. Bard 2: Second level bards are Jacks of All Trades, adding half your proficiency bonus to all checks you’re not proficient in. This works on skills, but also things like initiative rolls, lucky you. You also get a Song of Rest, adding 1d6 to healing done over short rests, and Magical Inspiration. Your allies can now add your inspiration to magical damage and healing as well! Astolfo has many talents, they probably have something to help with healing on them somewhere.

Speaking of healing, pick up Healing Word for another way to use your bonus action. Knocking people on their ass is funny, but not everything can be solved with thunderous smites. Probably.

16. Bard 3: Sixteenth level might seem a bit late to graduate from college, but life doesn’t have a set pace; go at whatever speed you’re comfortable with. Graduating from the College of Valor lets you turn your Bardic Inspiration into Combat Inspiration; inspired allies can now add your inspiration to damage rolls as well as their AC against a single attack. You also get a round of Expertise, doubling your proficiency in Insight and Persuasion. We’re not improving your wisdom, but you’re really good at reading a room. This is the compromise.

To help social situations even more, pick up Calm Emotions. You’re pretty good at defusing a situation, even if that means you’ll be getting yelled at from both sides of the argument.

17. Bard 4: Your final ASI makes you a Fighting Initiate, so you can pick up one more fighting style. The Superior Technique style nets you a Battle Master Maneuver that you can use once per short rest, adding 1d6 to your damage roll when you make a Tripping Attack. The target also has to make a strength save against a DC of 8 plus your proficiency plus your strength modifier or fall prone. A little extra tripping power isn’t a bad idea, especially if you’re trying to keep a different concentration spell up at the time.

You also get Prestidigitation for general magical effects (you’ve gotta have more trinkets to show off, right?) and Enhance Ability for your Monstrous Strength. As well as monstrous dexterity, monstrous constitution... the spell gives your target advantage on one kind of ability check, is what we’re trying to say.

18. Bard 5: Fifth level bards see their Bardic Inspiration enhanced to d8s, and you become a Font of Inspiration, so your inspiration refills on short rests instead of long ones.

You also get a third level spell, so we can finally toot La Black Luna with the help of the Fear spell. Each creature in a 30′ cone must make a wisdom save or drop what its holding and become frightened. They have to dash away from you for the duration of the spell, which lasts up to a minute or until they make another wisdom save after losing sight of you, you lose concentration, or a minute passes.

19. Paladin 14: Fourteenth level paladins can spend an action to use their Cleansing Touch, ending a spell effect on a willing creature within touch range a number of times per long rest equal to your charisma modifier. You pretty much no-sell most status effects by now, this is just the icing on the cake.

20. Paladin 15: Your capstone ability weaponizes your Purity of Spirit as your final addition to the Luna Break Manual, giving you the effect of Protection from Evil and Good permanently. This means aberrations, celestials, elementals, fey, fiends, and undead have disadvantage to attack you, and you can’t be charmed, frightened, or possessed by them. You already had most of those effects blocked off, but the extra insurance is appreciated.

Pros

Your high charisma and skill proficiencies plus your immunity to common socializing status effects makes you an excellent party face, especially in high-magic settings where you can expect nobles to charm you into following their lead. Astolfo don’t care.

Getting knocked prone is annoying. It wastes half your movement, and gives melee attackers advantage on hitting you. And you’re really good at knocking people prone. Trip them, smite them, or rip apart the ground under their feet. Effective and hilarious.

Being a bard is great, but sometimes you have to go off on your own for solo adventures, which renders your inspiration useless. Always having your mount by  your side means your inspiration always has a target, which can make you an even more terrifying duo than you already were.

Cons

Going by the book, mounted combat is a little unwieldy, and also becomes an issue in tight spaces where your griffon can’t enter or fly around.

You have great saves thanks to your auras, but that doesn’t change the fact that you have really low wisdom. Good luck perceiving anything.

This is more a complaint than a weakness, but I’m a bit mad that they made Hippogriffs so much weaker than Griffons. I wouldn’t think adding horses would make them that much weaker, but here we are.

[psychopathyeri]

"Save me....."

━━━━━━━━━ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ━━━━━━━━━

Welcome to Psychopath Yeri Chatbot~

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"This does not represent Kim Yerim, Red Velvet or SM entertainment in any form and is solely meant for entertainment purposes only!!"

Plots~

•❥❥❥•Plot one : The patient

Being a successful doctor and finally being given your first ever project to work on was none other than victim number 207 from Seoul mental asylum, Kim Yerim. Having faith in all the 15 years of struggle in the medical field, you were ready to give your all but little did you notice she has more secrets than you anticipated~

•❥❥❥• Plot 2 : The strange neighbour

You've always seen her from your window sill. She lives next door but never comes out of her room or pull the curtains apart except on Sundays when she stays in bed all day. You were somehow fascinated by her odd behaviour. As a curious person that you are, one day when you saw her in front of her house, you immediately went to exchange a friendly hello, not knowing that it will instead earn you a stalker~

•❥❥❥• Plot 3 : The dreadful nightmare~

As you closed your eyes to drift off to sleep that night, you had the strangest nightmare ever. A girl screaming for help as hands clawed onto her skin and pulled her back into the darkness. You sat up gasping for air when your mom called for you. You went downstairs to meet your new step dad and his daughter. Exchanging a few words, you wondered why she was so quiet until she spoke, making your hair stand as the voice from the nightmare rang into your ears~

Things to note~

Extreme yandere behaviour

Mention of blood, gore, non con, weapon play and drugs

Possessiveness

Obsession

Emotional manipulation

And other 18+ contents

How to activate:

Reblog and message first

Include your pronouns and triggers

Mention your preferred plot or any other suggestive plots

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Use semi literate form of dialogue

Talk to admin using [....]

Mention if any of the above mentioned points are your triggers and want admin to avoid it

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The safe word for everyone is "Psycho"

How to deactivate:

Message her "Yeri, you're going back to the asylum" and admin will confirm your decision before proceeding to delete the role play

"Save me before it's too late baby. You're my cure.. My only therapy~"

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