#Now I look back at that movie and go “holy hell that poor man is blatantly dehydrated. Fuck the directors”

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

the toxic masculine urge to be perfect and strong with no weaknesses

[loveinhawkins]

The RV careens out of the trailer park and hits the open road with what pretty much amounts to ‘all speed, no grace.’ The turn Steve makes is, quite frankly, abysmal; he’s sure that if his driving instructor could see him now, the poor man would be weeping in distress.

Yet his passengers erupt into cheers as they pass the Leaving Hawkins sign, like he’s pulled some kind of James Bond move.

And, for all his insistence on being the absolute antithesis to so-called ‘jock culture’, Eddie rushes over to the driver’s seat, starts squeezing Steve’s shoulder with decidedly jock-like exuberance.

“Holy shit, holy shit, that was so fucking cool, Harrington.”

Oh, he’s definitely broken through the depression stage of the ‘finding out there’s an alternate dimension in Hawkins’ journey—landing firmly in the fuck it, might as well have some fun stage.

Steve could tell they’d reached that point even before the goddamn ‘big boy’ comment, when Eddie had taken one look at the Michael Myers mask, looked Max dead in the eye and said, “This is gonna be. So fuckin’ stupid. Let’s do it.”

Steve goes through a few seconds more of having his shoulder pummelled before saying, “Dude, you’re doing a shitty job at being undercover, stay down.”

“Like, do you have any idea,” Eddie says breathily, as if Steve hasn’t spoken, “just how perfect that was? That was, God, a childhood dream fully—”

“You dreamed of stealing an RV?” Steve says dubiously.

“Not in such crude literal terms, no. C’mon, Harrington, you must’ve had an imagination once—”

“Hey!”

“—didn’t you ever dream of, like, daring escapes, pulling the sword outta the stone, all that shit?”

Steve thinks about it. “I mean,” he says, “when I was a kid, I just kinda… climbed trees and stuff.”

Eddie sighs as if he can’t decide whether Steve’s done something especially annoying or endearing. “Of course you did.”

They reach a stop sign and Eddie finally flops into the passenger seat, facing Steve like he’s sitting side saddle on a horse.

“So,” Steve says, “I take a right after this, yeah?”

“Mm-hmm, well remembered, Mr Getaway Driver.”

Steve scoffs, glances over—finds Eddie framing him with his index finger and thumb, like a director trying to capture the perfect shot.

“James Dean,” Eddie says authoritatively, dropping his hands.

“What?”

“Was tryin’ to figure it out, your whole look, you know? Very Rebel Without a Cause.”

“Okay,” Steve says, “but I have a cause, we all do.”

Eddie just blinks at him, and Steve chuckles.

“You, idiot.”

“Oh.”

Steve has a moment to appreciate the way Eddie’s eyes go all soft and maybe just a little shiny, before he has to set off again. He takes the right turning.

“We should watch it,” Eddie says eventually. “Hell, I’ll take any movie. Just gimme, like, two hours of not having to think.”

“Tell me about it.”

Steve’s sure he’ll never complain about double VHS tapes ever again. Then a thought occurs to him.

“Shit.” He calls to the back. “Rob?”

“Yeah?”

“Y’know when we left Family Video, did we even lock up?”

“Yes,” Robin says followed immediately by, “No?”

Steve snorts. “God, we’re so fired.”

He hears Robin making her way up to the front, then Eddie saying, “Oof, Buckley, that was right in the ribs.”

“Why the sudden concern about our jobs, dingus?”

“I’m not concerned, I just got reminded of—Eddie was mentioning—”

“—Rebel Without a Cause,” Eddie finishes.

“Oh, Steve, I know you’ve seen it, I put it on last week!”

“Uh, maybe I was preoccupied doing, I dunno, my job.”

“It’s the one with—”

“James Dean,” Eddie cuts in.

“Yeah, I gathered, thanks,” Steve says sarcastically, but he can’t help smiling as he does so.

“—and it’s, you know,” Robin goes on, “troubled kid moves to a new town, and—”

“Aw,” Steve says, “you think I’m troubled, Munson?”

“It’s all in the eyes, Harrington. Such depths.”

“Right?” Robin says, and she’s laughing, tongue-in-cheek, “I’ve always said so.”

“You ever considered wearing a leather jacket?”

Steve laughs, too. “Tell ya what, Eddie, why don’t I just wear all your clothes?”

“Well, we know denim suits you.”

“If only you saw his last car-stealing outfit, Eddie.”

Steve sighs. “Robin, shut it.”

“Excuse me,” Eddie says, “d’you have form, Harrington? Grand theft auto form?”

“Literally once. Crazy circumstances.” Rest in peace, Todfather. “It was a Cadillac.”

“A Cadillac.” Eddie sighs dreamily. “Do you have any photos?”

“Uh, no, I was kinda busy.”

“I shall mourn the loss.”

“Take the next left here,” Nancy calls, which Steve is grateful for—the directions had gone completely out of his head.

“Wheeler, come up to the front,” Eddie says, “it’s a party.”

She must do, because her voice sounds much closer when she says, “Shit, I think I forgot to lock up, too.”

“Don’t worry,” Steve says, “no-one’s gonna ransack The Weekly Streak.”

Another stop sign—Steve looks over, smirks at how Eddie has ended up squished between Nancy and Robin, all of them sharing the one seat.

“They better not.” To Eddie, Nancy adds, “I think I gave your uncle the impression that I’m doing a big piece on you. Like, testimonials for an innocent man, stuff like that.”

For a flicker of a second, Eddie looks nauseated at the thought—Steve spots the shift, the decision to make a joke about it.

“Well, Wheeler, you better make me sound good.”

“Oh, I was going more for journalistic integrity.”

“Hey.”

Steve hears a couple of thumps behind him; without even glancing in the mirror, he says, “Sit your asses down, shitheads, don’t make me turn this thing around.”

“Don’t make me turn this thing around!” Lucas parrots.

Max scoffs playfully: “Nineteen going on forty.”

“Eddie was standing before!” Erica points out.

Steve rolls his eyes. “Yeah, well, Eddie’s a law unto himself. Look, just sit down and, like, make a list or something, I’ll stop off for food after we’ve—”

Dustin laughs. “You really are forty.”

“Uh-huh, one more wisecrack and you’re not getting any chocolate pudding.”

Steve’s hamming it up, he knows he is—smiles to himself as he hears a quartet of giggles.

“Can you believe they used to think I was cool?” he says.

“I dunno, Harrington,” Eddie says warmly, “at least one of them doth protest too much.”

Nancy stands in search of a pen, Robin following, insisting to Dustin that, “We’re getting one of those camp stoves, if I don’t eat something hot soon, I’m gonna die.”

“Yeah,” Steve says. Maybe it’s because they’ll soon be arriving at The War Zone; his levity slips just a little when he says, “It’s probably, like, a proximity thing. Henderson’ll have a scientific term for it.”

Eddie chuckles. “What, the Steve Harrington effect?”

Steve shrugs. “You get too close, the shine wears off eventually.”

He doesn’t realise until he’s said it that the joking, perhaps, has stopped somewhere along the way.

“Huh,” Eddie says. “I’m no scientist, but that doesn’t sound like the Steve Harrington effect to me.”

“No?” Steve says.

He can see the parking lot in the distance, and he gestures for Eddie to duck.

“Nope,” Eddie says. Steve can hear him moving, crouching to hide behind the driver’s seat.

He parks and everyone’s abruptly all business, deciding who’s staying in the RV, who’s going into The War Zone.

Steve hates it, has a sudden intense longing to keep talking about movies, to just be stupid.

And maybe Eddie can tell, because just before Steve heads out, he catches his eye, smiles.

“Hey, don’t worry, Harrington,” he says with a tiny, fleeting wink. “You’re still my leading man.”

[gabessquishytum]

Long story short, human!Morpheus is horny. Newly divorced, he's had enough of this happily ever after shit - there's no force in this universe that can make him say 'I do' again. From now on, he'll be realistic. He just wants to get laid! Not only his ex - Alex Burgess - was a cold and uncaring partner in bed, but he also was cheating on Morpheus with their gardener. The audacity! To add insult to injury, their marriage was completely sexless in the last few years, and considering that they had had sex only a few times per year before...Morpheus is seriously underfucked. His sister Death jokes that if Morpheus doesn't find anyone soon enough, he'd probably develop feelings for his vibrator. The worst is that she isn't even wrong, not that Morpheus is ever going to admit it. Morpheus is desperate. He's never been good at social interactions, so meeting someone in reality is…complicated. He goes on Tinder. Everybody does it, how hard can it be? What he gets is a pile of dick pics and a few evenings of some very poor dirty talk. Utterly disgusted, he deletes his profile and this cursed app. And then - hallelujah! - when Morpheus has kinda resigned to a life with his vibrator, his sister introduces him to one Hob Gadling. Hob is handsome, bold, says all the right things, and his hands…oh, Morpheus imagines his hands in places where no one touched him for a while. Hob's looking at Morpheus like he wants to eat him alive. Or maybe eat him out. So, when Hob propositions him, Morpheus can't grab him to the cab fast enough. He's never been religious, but he's praying to every deity he knows that Hob won't be a disappointment in bed.

Asksdksjajjs horny divorcee Dream is such a delightful concept. And isn’t he a lucky boy? He’s just found himself a pot of gold in sexual form.

Dream is trying to curb his own expectations as he sits next to Hob. He can’t get his hopes up too high. He mustn’t act disappointed if Hob happens to be… underwhelming. He’s a grown man and he needs to keep a lid on his horniness. But with Hob sitting beside him in the cab, it’s very hard to stay calm. Even harder when Hob takes Dream’s chin between his fingers, tips his head back and kisses him like they’re in an old movie. Dream whimpers. All bets are off, he’s not going to make it out of this alive.

Especially when Hob carries him up the stairs inside his apartment building. Dream clings on and feels the flexing motions in Hob’s arms and chest. He’s getting so worked up it’s actually embarrassing! But Hob looks pretty desperate too. The way he presses Dream up against the front door and sucks on his tongue definitely doesn’t come across as apathetic.

Dream has never been rimmed before. Ever. His shitty former husband never bothered. But Hob? He’s about to do it about an hour after their first meeting. He whispers into the crease of Dream’s thigh about how he just can’t wait any longer to taste him. This might actually be heaven. Dream is laying on his own couch with his legs splayed as wide as they go, and an incredibly sexy man is saying incredibly sexy things 2 inch away from his arsehole. Holy shit.

Hob makes him cum twice. He’d have kept going, but Dream begged for mercy. He’s not as young as he’d like to be, and he just needs to bury his face into Hob’s chest hair for a bit. He’ll come out eventually.

But there’s no way in hell that he’s letting Hob go anywhere!

[murfpersonalblog]

IWTV S2 - Three spicy/spoilery reviews

The reviewers are just saying whatever they want, I guess! O_O

Here's my favorite bits from TheWrap, ComicBook, and IGN.

I've decided to mix and match them, comparing what they each say about similar themes/topics/reveals.

ELEVATING THE SOURCE MATERIAL

TELL IT! It's about adding DEPTH, y'all, not just a 1:1 page-to-screen.

Intellectual horror, instead of psychological horror--fascinating.

An "even more authentic adaptation" -- WE BEEN KNEW!!! I roll my eyes at book stans who hate on the show, acting like the movie was more accurate just cuz it was set during slavery times with white actors. 🙄 Like PLEASE, there's so much missing from the movie, or glossed over, or straight up changed, that the show-antis just demonstrate how shallow they are when their every attack hinges on the timeline/race/age changes. Cry harder.

MORE elevated than Season 1--you love to see it.

Yaaas, bring on the petty melodramatic mess, and fierce performances! 👏

CLAUDIA & MADELEINE

Because Bailey used profanity to convey her agony being a woman trapped in an adolescent's body in S1 too, I'm assuming Delainey will just cuss more? But cussing is all over the show, so I don't get it.

Everyone keeps raving about Roxane as Madeleine, but they've been SO CLOSE-LIPPED about her scenes, and it's KILLING me. 😭

"Deeply willful around Louis"--yeah, we saw a glimpse of that in the trailer; it's what he deserves. Give 'em hell, Claudia!

And yeah, she's PISSED that they cast her as Baby LouLou--imagine, being infantalized, and given the name of the father you've already gone through so much to emancipate yourself from as a "Brother" instead of "Daddy Lou." 😒 Eff Louis--where's Claudia's scythe at!?

LOUIS / LOUMAND

"Nonsense--" TheWrap isn't holding back a single punch huh?

"dating show contestants feigning authenticity to clumsily present themselves in the best light--" oof. 💀

Holy god; "begging the question...if Louis has just traded one abuser for another" GO AWF! 🚩🚩🚩

DANIEL / DEVIL'S MINION

Wow, so this must refer to Episode 5 from the episode titles list released recently. "Genuine horror".... 😈

RIP. 💀 Youngmaniel might see some action, but Oldmaniel's "utterly allergic and adversarial;" OOF. 💀💀

ARMAND

They keep saying petty. 😅 These messy queens are a trip!

"Far more powerful" -- I am SEATED~! I wanna see THE coven master!

Yaaas, come through Children of Satan/Darkness acolyte! 😈

"Scarred and transformed by the same man" -- they sound like war veterans. U_U

LESTAT / LOUSTAT

"the show's primary villain--" say it louder. Book stans need to stop projecting post-IWTV Lestat the hero/protagonist/MC into the narrative that LOUIS is telling, as a guy struggling to get over his ex.

"There to berate him for his poor choices--" this tracks with the trailer released today, too, where the producers said Dream-Stat would "pass judgement" on Louis' pisspoor actions.

PRODUCTION (Sets, Costumes, etc)

Yes, IWTV S1 was absolutely gorgeous; their attention to detail was immaculate. And so far it looks like S2 is gonna be just as nice. I REALLY like what I've seen of the Threatre's aesthetic.

THEATRE DES VAMPIRES & SANTIAGO

I freaking love this. XD

Agreeing with him about WHAT though? 🤨 That Louis & Claudia are hiding things? Or that they deserve to die because of it? (Especially since Lestat is OBVIOUSLY not actually dead, so what "crime/rules" are they actually breaking, Lord Kangaroo Court?)

TALAMASCA & CRITIQUES

Thank you lord god kamisama flying spaghetti monster he's a Talamascan, not another secret vampire.

But now I'm nervous, thanks to the ComicBook review:

Uh oh. The Talamasca feels forced & out of place. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

The AVENGERS INITIATIVE. 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

But they say it feels like "Daniel's being recruited--" YES PLEASE. 🙏 If Daniel's not gonna be a vampire, at least let him be a Talamascan. Ain't no way he can return to the mundane world after all this.

My BIGGEST complaint about IWTV as a franchise is its tenuous connection to the Immortals Universe. AMC is dropping the ball hard on creating an ARCU--Anne Rice's Cinematic Universe. There are SO MANY immortals & supernaturals we should've BEEN seen in S1, walking the streets of NOLA. I will say this every time: Oncle Vervain Mayfair should've been brought in from the OG pilot script. We should've seen Louis go to him for gris-gris before the poker game, and introduce Lestat to Vervain as a practitioner of what Louis thought was "European voodoo." Also: we should've seen Lasher. There should've been a scene where the Mayfairs told the vampires to GTFO their territory, and keep their hunting grounds on the other side of town. Like, the Mayfair Witches show sucks like you wouldn't believe, it's so stupid (looks gorgeous though), but the WORLDBUILDING is ripe for the taking! And AMC did squat with it!

Like, tbh, I don't see the point of a whole Talamasca show, and if it's handled by Esta & the gang from MW, then I don't wanna see it--I WILL, ofc, but I won't WANT to. Especially since we haven't seen any ghosts. ISTG, PLEASE have Merrick Mayfair in Ep7 or Ep8--not only will that bridge IWTV with MW, but it can perfectly lead to Blackwood Farm., while keeping the threads between vampires, ghosts, AND the Taltos (if they're determined to do a Lestat/Rowan crossover from Blood Canticle 🤢🤮).

I was wondering why so many reviews were giving it 4/5 or 9/10, like wtf are y'all being so stingy for!? But if this is the problem, then I'm not surprised, I've been complaining about it the whole time.

[petrichor-idyllic]

Hi Petri, so I was wondering (cause I know you have many aks) if you could do a Gally x fem! reader where she's with the rebels from death cure, and she's one of the people who find him almost dying in that room after the maze. She's super nice but can put up with his awful attitude, he hates being taken care of cause he feels remorse about what he did to his friends and she helps him overcome his self pity. And then in the end he sees the boys again and Frypan is excited cause Gally is with someone who can actually stand him and make him a "better" person. (Hope this was understandable, luv you)

This is the Gally content I was looking for.

Also, lu, I messaged you a while back when you sent me another request about TMR about a different Maze type. I don't think it was that important to the story but I just wanted to clear it up lmao and I don't think you saw it. So if you could get back to me that'd be great :))

DEAD MAN WALKING PT. 1

MASTERLIST | GALLY MASTERLIST

PART 1 | PART 2

SUMMARY: See above. Movie based fic.

WARNINGS: Inappropriate language, Gally nearly dying, Chuck's body, the aftermath of the Maze, Lawrence. WICKED being WCKD because movie.

You weren't always one of Lawrence's men.

For anyone that wasn't immune, working for WCKD or lucky enough to find themselves in the Last City- life was a shitshow.

If you were even lucky enough to live, chances are you lost your parents to the Flare before you hit double digits. That's if you didn't catch it yourself. And no one cares about your sob-story either. You're just another poor bastard who has dealt with the same shit as everyone else.

Tough.

You lost your parents when you were about twelve, and got swept into smuggling serum from place to place. Or as it's known on the streets- Bliss.

Which is how you met Lawrence.

He became one of your regular buyers, and by the time you hit fifteen, you'd been swept into his growing group of radicals.

Lawrence likes you. You're kind but capable, and not afraid to draw blood need be. Which is why you're one of his main men- and you get to boss other people around.

Somehow, Lawrence got wind of WCKD facilities out in the Scorch, which, unfortunately for you, means trekking out there to check them out.

Luckily, you'd managed to get ahold of some old ranger trucks that you blatantly stole off of WCKD.

"Let's go, boys!" You hollar as you lean out of the side of the open front vehicle, holding onto the windscreen pole.

It's quite an unpopular opinion, but you actually quite like the Scorch. It's barren and massive, and empty.

Not one really comes out here and it's one of the few places you and your men can actually mess around a bit.

I mean, it's not like you're going to actually find anything in the Scorch, right? You accepted a long time ago that Lawrence is chasing rainbows and they're never going to let him into the Last City.

It's not like you don't have ways into the City. But Lawrence wants the entire population to live there, and he wants to shut down the walls for good. So, for now, you're stuck trying to find ways to do that.

"Uh, Boss?" The driver says as you stare off into the sand. "You seein' this?"

"Huh?" You turn.

Perpendicular to the way you're driving, you can just see the top of a massive stone structure from over the top of some of the dunes. "The hell?"

"Should we check it out?"

"Yeah, let's go." You put your fingers to your lips, sending out a high-pitched whistle. "Let's go!" You signal the other cars behind you, waving in the direction of the structure.

You drive over the sand, bouncing over the soft surface.

"Holy shit," you mumble, the building coming into view properly as you come over the dune.

It's unfathomably big and round. Looming stone walls that covers hundreds of metres of the Scorch. It has to be miles long as you approach.

"There!" You point. "There's an entrance!"

You grind to a halt, sand flickering everywhere as you jump out. Your automatic rifle is pulled up from the strap on your shoulders as you hold it, walking through the doors. Your men aren't far behind you as you enter the the building.

"What the fuck?" Someone behind you mutters.

In front of you is a destroyed laboratory. High tech computers and shattered glass litters the place, along with the corpses of several people dressed in white coats.

"What happened here?" You look around, lowering your gun and freezing when you find a body.

It's a kid. He's chubby and has curly brown hair. Can't be any older than thirteen. Blood stains his chest and his vacant stare is just another line on the list of horrors you've seen.

You crouch next to him. "What happened to you, buddy?"

You touch his face. Cold.

You sigh, moving your hand and closing his eyes. "Poor sod."

"Uh, Boss, we got another," you look up. One of your guys stands over another body. He's fallen on his side, a spear sticking straight through his chest and out the other side.

"Jesus," you stand up again, walking over.

The boy has black spider veins all over his body and his eyes are completely dark. You've never seen anything like it.

Looking around the lab, you spot large syringes full of a strange blue liquid. Walking over to the table where they are, you pick one up.

But you partially jump out of your skin when there's a sharp gasp from behind you, accompanied with a string of swear words from your colleagues.

The boy on the floor is alive and squirming.

"He's alive?" You ask, in some form of shock. "How is that even possible?"

No one responds as the boy starts to thrash, letting out a blood-curdling scream. It's almost like something is moving under his skin as you look at what's in your hand and then back at him.

Storming over, you slam the syringe into his arm.

Almost immediately, he stills again, his eyes and skin quickly returning to normal.

"What the hell? What did you just do?" You ignore the confusion from your men.

Pressing your fingers to the boy's throat, you feel a pulse and he seems to be breathing- somehow. He's unconscious again, though.

"Contact Lawrence," you instruct, "someone else help me get him up."

"What?"

"He needs a doctor."

"So, what? We're taking him with us?"

"If we save him- he might have information on what was going on here. We can always come back. Come on!"

It's a bit of a rush against time to get him back to base and the outskirts of the City. But he's still alive, somehow.

You have one of the best top surgeons on your side. He used to work in the City, but he's infected, so he was thrown out. So, now he's using the little time he has left to help you guys.

"You really think this guy is worth it?" You pace the common area, a couple of your close allies watching.

"Lawrence seems to think so."

"This is dumb. We should've just raided the place and let the bastard rot."

"Oi," you snap, "watch it. We're meant to be for the people, remember? That means everyone."

It's been days since you brought him in, and you're starting to think it's a dead end. But you couldn't just leave him there.

"Miss," one of the surgeon's assistants pops his head around the corner, "he's awake."

You exchange glances with the others before slipping away. Going down the halls, you reach the "medical" room. Which is basically just a bed and some stolen IV drips.

The boy sits on the bed, his head in his hands and a bloodied bandage around his chest.

"You got a name?" You ask. He's noticed your presence, but hasn't said anything, so you decide to speak.

Nothing.

"Hey," you continue, "you alright, man?"

"Where am I?" He asks eventually, his hands flopping into his lap. "Why am I alive?"

"Looks like it wasn't your time," you shrug. "Sorry."

"I should be dead. I hurt... I killed Chuck." His hands come to his head again. "I killed him. I hurt that kid. It should've been Thomas... I would've never... I didn't..."

"You talkin' about that kid in there?" You ask, casually putting your hands in your baggy pant pockets.

He finally looks at you. His eyes are bloodshot and he's pale. "You saw him?"

You pull your lips into a thin line, nodding. "You killed him?"

His jaw tenses, tears welling in his eyes. "I didn't mean to- I really didn't mean to. I-I was stung, I lost control and I shot the wrong person."

"Lost control?"

"The Grievers! I tried to escape the Maze and I got stung and I shot Chuck and Minho speared me. I should be dead! I deserve it."

"If you weren't in control of yourself, then you can't really blame yourself."

Maybe you should be freaking out more. He's just confessed to killing a child. But WCKD is capable of things beyond human possibility, so controlling someone against their will isn't exactly groundbreaking nowadays.

You've seen people do terrible things to survive. You've done terrible things to survive. This is the last place he'll be judged. This place is full of blood and ghosts of corpses- that's just how the world is now.

The guilt never really goes away, so you sympathise.

He stares at you, blankly. He sniffs. "Who are you?"

You walk up to him, holding your arm out for him to shake. "(Y/N). I'll ask you again; you got a name?"

"Gally," he slowly takes your hand, giving you a weak shake.

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Gally, I just wish it were under better circumstances. You reckon you're up to answering some of my questions, or do you need some more time to recover?"

"Can you answer my question first?"

You sigh. "You're safe here." You say bluntly. "I dragged your ass out of that WCKD facility. So, if you wanna blame someone for your mortality, you can shout at me for it later. We're a group of rebels outside the City - we try to help people that WCKD doesn't. The Right Arm has been MIA for years, so we're the best you've got, I'm afraid."

Gally has some of his memories back. He remembers the Flare, WCKD and rumors of the Right Arm. He's missing pieces, but has enough to understand what you're talking about.

"So, are you willing to talk? You'd much rather deal with me than my Boss- trust me."

He nods, clearing his throat. "What do you wanna know?"

Gally is surprisingly cooperative, probably because he's on a lot of painkillers and has a lot of fresh trauma. He tells you about the Maze, his memory loss, his friends and the monsters he faced.

Lawrence agreed to let you deal with this, but you know he's going to want to speak to him.

"Experimenting on kids?" Lawrence scoffs, throwing down your notes about what Gally said on the desk in front of him and sighing. "That's a new low, even for WCKD."

"You're telling me."

"What about the boy? You think he'll be useful?"

You shrug. "I don't know. He's well built and has a lot of potential. Used to be leader of the Builders or some shit- could be useful if we need to make this place bigger."

"Can he shoot?"

You hesitate. "Yep."

"Hm."

"We protect people that need it, Lawrence- he needs it more than most. He's also probably immune and we can get Bliss out of him."

Lawrence hesitates. "Okay, he can stay- but don't let your hero complex get the better of you. He's the same as everyone else here."

"You got it, Captain."

And with that word of warning, Gally kind of ends up under your wing. You show him around, give him a cluster of pillows and blankets to use as a bed if he's lucky enough to find an empty space on the floor, and actually teach him how to shoot (properly).

Gally is standoffish and rude- something you come to learn fairly quickly. He looks down on people who are sick or weak, and whilst he seems to care a lot about things, he's bitter and angry.

He also doesn't appreciate being cared for or looked after. He doesn't think he deserves it and he hates being pitied. But, he has little choice and it takes a while for him to accept that he doesn't have much choice.

And he's not used to the way the Flare affects people.

"Gally, stop staring."

"Gally, don't say that."

"Gally, they don't know what shank means- you're gonna get beat up."

"Gally put that down; it's Lawrence's."

He's definitely a problem child.

From the sounds of the Glade; Gally is completely out of his depth. The Glade was serene and peaceful, run under Alby, who was firm but understanding and everyone had a common goal and kept things smooth. Your den isn't like that.

It's bloodthirsty and cutthroat. Anyone with a reputation has it for reasons that you don't want to know, and Lawrence isn't scared to put a bullet in the head of anyone who pisses him off.

So, when Gally has a meeting with Lawrence after a month, your heart is in your throat.

"So, Gally, how are you finding it here?" Lawrence leans on his desk. His skeletal appearance and weak state means he rarely ventures out amongst the crowds, so Gally is visibly uncomfortable.

When he doesn't respond, you nudge him, nodding to answer his question.

"It's been... fine." You inwardly cringe as Lawrence stands up.

"Fine? We house you, let my best mentor you, and all you call our hospitality... fine?"

Gally looks to you for advice. "No, uh, it's good. I really appreciate everything you've done for me."

"That's more like it."

"Why did you want to see him, Bo-"

"I'm not talking to you, am I?" Lawrence cuts your off, immediately making you regress into yourself.

Something about it makes Gally's jaw tense. You're one of the few people that has consistently looked out for him- and you're the only girl he's ever actually befriended. So, that combined has led to him developing a small crush on you.

So, watching him demean you like that makes him furious.

"Why am I here?" Gally asks, and Lawrence snaps to look at him. "What? You wanted to talk to me about something."

Lawrence scoffs, offering a toothy smile. "I want you to join the patrols and search parties with (Y/N)." He tosses him a mask from his desk. It's a gas mask with a screen sheild- something everything one is expected to wear to keep roxins out of the system. Though, you suspect the tinted glass is to hide Gally's identity. He is a WCKD subject, after all. You, however, just tend to wear the bottom half of the mask on jobs.

You need to see more than the others.

"You're muscle and immune; we need both. Does that work for the both of you?"

You exchange glances before speaking in unison. "Yes, Boss."

And just like that, Gally has become an official member of your team.

He struggles with crowd work. Storming through the crowds of infected that often surround the City is dangerous work. More for you than him, since the Flare is an actual threat to you. But it's necessary work.

You have to give out food and Bliss; often using the time to trade information from the locals that reside there.

He can become aggressive and shoves a lot of people out of the way, but he mellows under your gaze. He wants to do what you think is right, and be better because you saved him.

He owes you.

He prefers the trips to the Scorch. He, however, does not like it when you actually find a Maze. He'd normally wait outside.

And had he been put on anyone else's team, he'd be forced to join. But you don't make him. You need him as mentally stable as possible- revisiting trauma is not the way to do that.

For the next five-ish months, that's how it is.

Until things get considerably worse.

They shut down the City. To everyone.

No one, not just the infected, can enter.

The outskirts of the City turned into full-blown riots. You and your men are up to their necks in discourse. More people are joining the edge of the City as the people realise they really are fucked.

Gally, who has become an actual decent soldier and person under your pressure, seems distracted on this particular day.

You're doing your usual rounds as best as you can, sitting armed on the top of trucks as one of Lawrence's men eggs on the rebellion through speakers.

"This is a shit show," you mumble as Gally stares off into the crowd. You can't see his expression, but his body is tense and he pays no mind to what you just said. "Gally?" You nudge him.

"What?"

"I said this is a shit show."

"Yeah," he sounds completely disinterested, "it is."

He's acting weird, but you're too deep into a riot, and there are WCKD drones circling.

"I know them," Gally says.

"What?"

He nods towards a group in the crowd as they're struggling to slip through the people. "I was in the Glade with them."

You blink at him. "What? Are you sure?"

"Yeah, it's Thomas, Newt and Fry- I'd recognise them anywhere. We have to find them; they'll be dead out here." He turns, signalling some of the guys to follow him before he jumps off of the van.

"Wha- Gally!"

"Boss?" You turn to them, the men waiting your instructions.

You hesitate. "Do as he says- follow Gally's orders. I'll stay here."

They nod, also diving off the vehicle and vanishing into the crowd. You have to keep an eye on things here.

Which probably wasn't your best shout because a metallic groaning noise starts, and before you know it, missiles are being fired left and right at the crowds.

"Go! Go!" You scream, directing civilians, now also on the ground.

"Boss! We gotta go!"

"They're murdering innocent civilians!"

"We can't help them now! Come on!"

Running through the crowd, a sickening thought hits you. "Where's Gally? Hey, where's Gally?!"

"I don't know! We'll find him back at base!"

"Shit."

It's a mad rush back to camp, but you didn't expect to find what you do.

Gally is on the floor as you jump out of the van again, he's pinned to the floor by some dude you don't recognise as a blond boy tries to calm the situation.

"Oi!" You shout, jogging over and letting your mask fall around your face. "What the hell is going on here?!"

You men hold guns pointed at the boy. "Stand down! Now!" You grab the boy's jacket, yanking him up and away from Gally. "The fuck are you playing at? You tryna get shot?"

"It's fine," Gally groans as he sits up. "Kinda had that coming. Anyone else? Fry? Newt?"

"You know this guy?" An older gentleman asks, clearly lost.

"He was an old friend," (you're assuming) Frypan says.

"How?" Newt says. "How is this possible? We watched you die."

"No, you left me to die," Gally corrects. "And if we hadn't found you when we did, you'd be dead right now. What the hell are you doing here?"

"Minho," Newt simply says. "WCKD has him here. We're looking for a way in."

Gally looks at you, tilting his head slightly and pulling his lips into a thin line.

You sigh, knowing this means a lot to him. "We can help with that. Follow me."

"I'm not going anywhere with him," Thomas snaps.

"Suit yourself." Gally says.

"But we can get you through those walls," you add.

They all reluctantly start following as Gally briefly explains how he ended up here along with what your operation is.

He warns them about Lawrence, before taking them to talk to him.

"Hey," you grab his wrist, stopping him and he looks at you. "I'm gonna go check on our wounded, send a patrol car out to help those hurt at the scene."

"You're leaving?" His eyebrows furrow for a second. This'll be the first thing that Gally's done without you. He's never even spoken to Lawrence before without your reassuring presence.

Frypan looks at Newt, smirking slightly. They were close in the Glade, and it's obvious to Frypan that something has definitely changed in Gally. And he thinks that's to do with you.

"You seem to have things under control here; I have other men I need to worry about. I won't be long."

You turn to leave, but Gally stops you again. "Stay alive."

You grin at him. "I'll try my best. No promises, though."

You do what you say and return to the scene, helping everyone you can whilst Gally takes Thomas and Newt through the tunnels.

By the time you get back, you're exhausted and Gally is standing around a table with Brenda, Jorge and Frypan. Thomas and Newt have vanished.

You walk into the room, immediately gaining Gally's attention.

"Still kicking, then?"

"Told you I'd try my best," you put your hand on his shoulder as he looks over some scattered plans. "How've things been here? You got a plan?"

"Kinda. Thomas doesn't seem too happy with it, though."

"Bummer. Any other options?"

"Not really."

"He's gonna have to cope, then."

You slip away, moving into another room but shouting back. "I'm gonna get a drink, anyone want one?"

You get a couple of yes' and go on to provide.

"You never told us your girlfriend's name," Gally looks up at Frypan, who is sitting with his arms crossed, smirking.

Gally scoffs. "She's called (Y/N)- and she's not my girlfriend. She's my Boss."

"Ah, well, you always said you think you'd like powerful women." Gally glares at his friend, but struggles to repress the smile on his lips. "You've changed, shank."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"No," Frypan smiles genuinely.

You come back in with a few glasses, immediately making them change the conversation. "Where are your friends?"

"They went outside to talk," Gally answers as you give him a glass. "Thanks."

"So," you casually put your hands in your pockets, "what's the plan then?"

You did not expect the plan to be kidnap.

It's awkward and stressful watching Teresa cut open the boys' necks and pulling out a thin bit of wire.

You're sticking with Lawrence in his attempt to breach the walls and Gally is going with the Gladers. You dislike this plan, but you think Gally is more than capable.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" The group is splitting up and Brenda and Jorge are saying their goodbyes too.

"We need to do this," Gally sighs.

"For a guy that tried to kill you?"

"He had every right to try and kill me."

You sigh, leaning back on a pillar.

"You gonna tell me not to go? Give me the order to stay?"

He sounds almost hopeful. You don't know when you started prioritising Gally over the others. Maybe it was because he became your responsibility but over time your feelings of protection became romantic.

You don't want him to leave. You don't want to split up and let him go into the lion's den, but you need to do this. And so does he.

It's obvious this is a way of him repenting for what he's done.

You shake your head. "No, we gotta do this. You'll be fine, just stay in contact."

He seems almost disappointed. "Yes, Boss."

They group set up to leave, and you anxiously tap your foot, knowing you should be leaving and preparing yourself.

Fuck it.

"Gally! Wait!" You jog over to him as he sorts out his WCKD uniform, just about to leave.

He looks at you as you rush to him, throwing your arms around him. He stumbles backwards, his hand coming to the small of your back.

Pulling away, you look at him and he looks at you. And, impulsively, you kiss him. He freezes momentarily, before pulling you closer and kissing you back.

"Stay alive." You mumble as you part.

He scoffs, smiling. "I'll try my best."

Another Gally piece for you guys. This might be one of those that requires a part 2 because I have too much to get through to be doing too many long pieces and I've just finished a three part story lol.

Let me know if you'd want that.

I hope you enjoyed :))

[cerealboxlore]

The number thing, I recommend numero 18

WIP #18: Loose Ends Tied Up In A Bow "Holy moly..."

Billy Batson was a boy who had seen wonders beyond the minds and imaginations of man. From monsters to the mythical and magical, Billy was accustomed to the strange nature of the universe and participated in being an active part of it.

He'd been to the depths of hell and farthest corners of space, experiencing what many could only dream of as a superhero. However, nothing could ever beat the pure joy of a childlike sense of wonder when experiencing something new.

Nothing could beat a cool-looking train.

"Billy! If you stop staring at the train, you might be able to get on it with the rest of us this century." Billy's sister, Mary, shouted at him, with a drawn-out yawn from the check-in entrance. She may have sounded irritated, but she was just as excited for this trip as Billy, if not more. Neither of them had gotten any sleep last night, staying up late thinking about their first family vacation together. They'd planned all the things they'd do together and all the sights they would see, the only thing the both of them didn't plan for was sleep.

Mary was not unfamiliar with the age-old tradition of traveling for vacations with family, but for Billy, this would be his first time ever leaving Fawcett that wasn't related to Captain Marvel or Justice League business. This would be his first time just...relaxing, with his new family, the Bromfields.

Naturally, Billy was hesitant at first, but with Freddy promising to look after Fawcett in their absence, sorting out any potential problems with the League, and most of their major rogues locked up in prisons at the present, Billy was eventually convinced to take some time off. Billy believed he was bullied into it by Mary and Freddy, but he wasn't too upset about it in the end.

What could go wrong on a train anyway?

Stopping his admiration of the cool train in front of him, Billy gleefully sprinted back to his family. Mr. Bromfield ruffled his hair the moment he got close and reeled him into a side hug, trapping him in his arms.

"Aha! There we go, Nora, I think we're all here now. Our boy's not getting left behind like some cheesy "Home Alone" sequel. Lord knows we don't need more of those movies going around." Nick Bromfield chuckled. The dad humor was something Billy was trying to get used to.

"Oh, Nick. Let the poor boy go, his hair is all a mess now. Here, give him to me." Nora Bromfield coerced her husband into setting Billy free, but upon the taste of freedom, he was just met with another trap which was Nora Bromfield "fixing" his hair. She cupped his face and pushed his hair back with a comb, straightening it out. Billy once again struggled to escape the arms of a loving parent, but ultimately let Nora comb his hair in defeat.

He never knew having loving parents could be such a hassle.

Mary did, apparently, as Billy heard her laughing at his misery. His face flushed red over feeling so fussed over. Suddenly, Billy felt a devious little idea pop into his head.

"Uhh, hey, Mrs. B, I think Mary's hair needs some help, too. You know, the hair she's hiding under her hat because she didn't want to tell you her hair was bad today?"

"Oh! Thank you, Billy. I need to get on that. Mary! Come here, let me clean up your hair real quickly. No, a hat is no excuse to be lazy about your hair. Come here- no don't hide behind your brother! Remember, we're sleeping in the same cabin. You can't run from your mom!" Mary zig-zagged away from her mother's comb in her hands, glaring at Billy with an expression that could make Medusa shake. Clearly, neither of the twins liked being fussed over, almost like cats who hated baths. Billy couldn't help but laugh in return.

While Nick Bromfield sorted out the check-in line for them, Nora Bromfield got to embarrassing her kids in front of everyone else around the train station. Multi-tasking parents. You can't get any better than that.

The Bromfield family were so busy smiling and enjoying their time together, that none of them had even realized they were being watched by a pair of glaring eyes. Eyes that would follow them on the train soon after.

[astroboots]

NOOO please bcs that leather jacket is giving me heart palpitations. Imagine you join Marc to the movies after work and of course he's there early just chilling. You see him with THAT and you're like "you, me, restroom, now" and he'd look so confused at first but then he'd caught on and practically run after you. Also he likes that jacket, he doesn't let you borrow it and he gets so frustrated with you when he fronts and realizes you took it for the day. He'd text "babygirl it's cold outside" and you'd reply "I know thank god I stole your jacket"

DATE AT THE CINEMA

ooooooof. Holy shit nonny! THIS WAS JUST HNNNNNNG. You got a woman fucking unhinged with that thought is what you did.

Summary: You're late for cinema with Marc. Mini Drabble

Content: nothing too explicit, just horny admiration.

ASTROBOOT’S MASTERLIST | MOON KNIGHT MASTERLIST

You're late. You're so fucking late.

It's hardly your fault. It's Friday. There's a tube strike. And Susan brought pistachio cookies from her trip to Florence into office and you couldn't bloody well just eat and dash without a polite twenty-minute conversation afterwards. That'd be rude.

But that does mean you're now, very very late. About half an hour late for a man who is chronically on time.

Your phone pings in your coat pocket, as you're dashing up the escalator from the tube exit.

Marc

You're late.

Speaking of the grumpy devil...

You

I know I know! I am literally down the street. I can see the cinema from here.

You tuck your phone back into your pocket, as you make a dash against the yellow light, looking right and left as you evade people as best as you can.

God, if the movie's started before you get there, you're never going to hear the end of it from Marc. Luckily commercials drag on, but even with them being half-hour-long nowadays you're pushing your luck right now.

You can just imagine him now, scowling, and probably scaring the living hell out of some poor bloke standing next to him.

You cut through a crowd of tourist just standing there, obliviously blocking traffic, as you loudly mutter "excuse me" and push your way through.

Then finally, finally, you reach the entry door of Everyman Cinema and push your way through to the warm air inside.

There's a long queue forming by the tills. The smell of buttered popcorn makes your mouth water, and you try to ignore it all in favour of scanning for Marc.

You almost miss him in the crowd. Can't catch the sight of his regular tan jacket that he so often wears to blend into the crowd. Then you do spot him and your knees nearly give in at the sight of him.

He's wrapped up in a thick leather pilot jacket, broad-shouldered and the softest white shearling fur for a collar that makes you want to nuzzle into that gorgeously thick neck.

Marc is just standing there looking like some far superior and more handsome, dark-haired version of Steve Mcqueen. Raven curls smoothed back against his forehead. Dark brown eyes, like they're carved from the most exquisite aged mahogany as they drill down on you, staring you down. Practically fuming. And bloody hell -- that shouldn't be as attractive of a look as he makes it.

He walks over to you, both hands shoved into his pockets in what is almost a sulky stance. And fuck, that looks good on him too. Because all you can think of is all the ways you are going to earn your forgiveness back from him.

How you're going to wipe that scowl right off his face, until his mouth parts with a broken moan.

How you're going to make his eyes flutter all pretty the way he does, throat bared to you, seconds before he comes.

How you're going to make him keep that fucking jacket on all the while as you do it.

"You're late," Marc says.

You bite your lip to stop yourself from practically salivating all over your chin as you stare at your boyfriend.

"I'm sorry," you say and smile at him. "Let me make it up to you."

a/n: to be notified of new writing updates follow @astroboots-writes and turn on notifs 🤡💖🤡

[teecupangel]

So since I saw the corgi Desmond Idea for yew branches, all I can think about is if someone else get reincarnated alongside desmond as another dog. Like say Altair somehow gets reincarnated as a dog, thinking Saluki or Dobermann, too. Also because I find it amusing to think about him yoinking Corgi Desmond because he glows gold. And Desmond who was just chilling in his bag wondering why this dog just snatched him. Along with Jacob having to chase after this surprisingly sneaky dog, who somehow keeps out maneuvering him as he tries to get the Desmond back. Just kept thinking about this when I saw the idea :)

Okay, so nonny, there’s this movie I love as a kid. Used to rewatch it a lot. It’s called Cats & Dogs and it’s such a dumb movie but kid!me loved it so when I read this, I just remember that movie and you know what.

Screw eagle symbolism.

Corgi!Desmond gets yoinked by this bigass dog just as Jacob finally got him from those thugs who stole him from his sweet mom and Desmond is just…

He is sooooo done with this day.

He just wants to go home, take a long bath with the right temperature of water and with two maids massaging him as they clean him then sleep on his comfy doggie bed (which is the fluffiest pillow in the whole Disraeli household. He dragged it out of the Disraeli couple’s bed himself, damn it.)

But he can’t do that because this big ass Canaan dog stole him from what may or may not be an actual Assassin (FINALLY! Where the hell have they all been???) and this was also the perfect way to see how good the Assassin was.

…

…

…

He sucked.

And Desmond wasn’t even sure if the Assassin was just that bad or if this dog that has now dognapped him was just too good?

He was sure that this fucking dog just did a leap of faith and that was a sentence Desmond didn’t think he would ever think about.

This fucking life…

Finally, the big dog managed to shake the Assassin off by diving inside a hole that was just small enough for him but definitely too small for the Assassin. From there, Desmond realized that they were in some kind of underground…

Were those bones?

Oh fuck.

They were in the catacombs.

Desmond finally turned to face the dog and tried to say “Hey, man. I have a home. Just let me go and I won’t bite you.” even though he knew none of the animals he tried to talk to could understand him.

But this dog just went and said through gritted teeth as he kept his jaws clamped on the handles of Desmond's bag, “I’d like to see you try, little one.”

And Desmond’s just… BSOD.

What the fuck.

The dog talked.

He understood Desmond.

And Desmond understood him.

What the ever living fuck.

Too surprised by the sudden appearance of another talking dog, Desmond just let the big dog take him to one of the the deeper catacombs and…

Holy shit.

Was that…

He was pretty sure those clothes in the middle of the room was some kind of Isu clothes similar to what Minerva and Juno wore.

Oh great.

The dog who kidnapped him must be some kind of Isu bullshit that Desmond didn’t want to deal with.

And he was just finally getting used to being a lazy dog.

That’s when he hears another voice…

A more familiar voice.

“You brought another one, Altaïr?”

And a Maremma Sheepdog walks towards them as the Canaan Dog dropped his bag to the floor. He looked at Desmond and sniffed him, making Desmond freeze, before gasping.

“Altaïr, this dog smells like he takes a bath everyday. Did you steal him?”

“I stole him from one of those novices.”

And now that Desmond heard the dog’s name, he realized that, yeah, the dog also sound so fucking familiar. He didn’t realize it before because his voice and words had been a bit hard to understand since he had been holding the handles of Desmond’s bag with his teeth.

“The woman or the man?”

“The man.”

“Ah, poor boy.”

“That doesn’t mean you should steal someone’s dog.” Another familiar voice said and Desmond’s eyes widened even further as he saw a…

Holy shit.

Wolf?

No.

A wolfdog.

And that was the day Desmond realized that he wasn’t the only Assassin to have been reincarnated as a dog.

.

.

The Canine Brotherhood’s main mission?

To find and stop the perpetrators of the disappearing cats and dogs in London!

Evidence suggests that the Templars are involved and they have a lead.

They go to a warehouse that was supposed to be abandoned. Instead, it is filled with dogs and cats that are weirdly docile.

And learn the true perpetrators!

The Feline Templar Rite!

Ronron de Sabmiaou!

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Cesare Bormiao!

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Charmeow Lee!

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And they have the BALL OF EDEN! NO ANIMAL CAN WITHSTAND ITS MIND CONTROL WHEN IT ROLLS!

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AND IT IS UP TO THE CANINE BROTHERHOOD TO STOP THEM!

Altaïr Ibn-La’Ahauhau

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Ezio Baubauditore da Firenze

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Connor Kenwoffwoff

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Desmond Disraeli (He comes from a rich family and no, he will not accept Desmond Milyipyip)

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And, yes, Desmond is the only small dog in their Brotherhood and he hates it. They can easily pick him up using his nice bag. It's embarrassing but it means he doesn't have to walk which is a plus. (All dogs except Desmond are supposed to be native in the Assassin's birthplace)

On the other hand, yes. I did base the Templar cats on a bald cat, a cat who looks like he'll throw a temper tantrum, and a cat with a mustache without a care if they're native to each Templar's birthplace.

(In my defense… I should be sleeping already. I cannot be held responsible for whatever crazy idea my sleep-deprived brain comes up with)

[mycomicbox]

Random Thoughts on Persona 5 Royal - Part 3

[Progress: October 13th, 5th Palace conquered]

<<< Part 2

I've been thinking a lot about what it'd be like if I were a Phantom Thief. Perhaps I'll draw that sometime.

God damn, this game is long. I consider myself someone with pretty good JRPG stamina, but I'm about 103 hours into this game and I'm nowhere near the finish line. For reference, my Persona 4 Golden playthrough maxed out at 100 hours.

It took me far too long to notice that the letters on Caroline and Justine's hats spell out "oxymoron".

The Doraemon reference in the movie theater got a chuckle out of me.

I like the little quips from your party members while exploring Mementos. One of my favorites is Morgana complaining about the tiny school desks in the suggestion box.

Ryuji and Yusuke's Showtime attack is the funniest shit I've ever seen.

The fact that Futaba's All-Out Attack splash screen says "Git Gud" is pretty indicative of when this game initially released. If the game came out now, it'd probably say "Skill Issue" or something.

Haru's Phantom Thief costume is probably my favorite. Hats with feathers in them are guaranteed to look cool.

Add Futaba to the list of characters who desperately need a hug. I like the idea of someone willingly asking for their heart to be stolen. After all, the Phantom Thieves don't just beat the shit out of scumbags: they help those who can't help themselves.

I also like how Futaba's awakening is somewhat of a callback to Persona 4, as she awakens to her Persona by facing her Shadow directly (no face-bleeding required).

How is she so goddamn short (then again, I guess being a shut-in could've stunted her physical growth)

You can tell that I have some stuff to say about Futaba. Yusuke has some competition for favorite Phantom Thief.

Another Persona game, another awkward beach scene... (except for Yusuke's lobster gag, that amused me).

TANAKA IS BACK, LET'S GOOOOOO

Why did Ryuji think that Los Angeles was the United States capital? Is he stupid?

HOLY SHIT, MAGICAL GIRL

Shadow Okumura needs to speak up, man. It's like they lowered his volume compared to the other characters (which kind of makes sense with the space helmet he's got on, but still).

Unfortunately, I have been spoiled as to the Black Mask's true identity. I don't care how old this game is, tag your damn spoilers!

When I was in middle school, I went to a water park on a school field trip, and the county schools rented it out for the students. I thought that alone was magical. Imagine getting a whole Disney park rented out just for you and your homies.

With the death of President Okumura, and the tanking of public approval, the Phantom Thieves' resolve is starting to waver...

The sixth calling card is addressed to Sae Niijima. I can't wait to see how this story will unfold.

⚡️Confidant Lightning Round

Beep boop.

My man Sojiro going through it...

With the way that Futaba peppers her speech with video game references, I see a bit of my 15-year-old self in her. I've noticed references to Pokémon, D&D, and RPG terms in general (EXP, trash mobs, etc.).

Imagine meeting a cute nerdy girl and the first thing she does is ask if you're a NPC 💀 poor Mishima, I would've never recovered from that

I like Iwai's little quips about gun terminology.

Takemi please step on me

You're telling me that the Get Smoked hat was from this game!?

I would do anything for a politician like Yoshida.

As I have discovered, there are some unused voice lines implying that Sae was planned to be a romance option at some point. That would've been one hell of an enemies-to-lovers (even if it wouldn't make sense narratively).

Well, I've gotten the Faith and Councillor Confidants to their proper ranks before their deadlines. I guess I'll wait and see what happens next.

[thatpunkmaximoff]

[Book Three of Four]

Story: 4 out of 5 Smut: 3 out of 5

The Score was absolutely adorable! The giggles start immediately in chapter one and roll through the entirety of the book. I like that Dean is the rich one between the two, but Allie's lack of funds doesn't deter her from earning what she wants in life. She doesn't mope about being less than in the relationship.

Watching Dean, who sworn off relationships, come to the realization that Allie is "home" made my heart warm.

The hurdle for the two of them hurt like hell, especially watching Dean spiral with his grief. That was hard to read, but I relieved to see Allie and his friends kick his ass back into gear.

Now enjoy my ramblings..

* Allie cockblocking Dean. We’re off to a great start.

* “Seriously, just find yourself a rebound.” Dean whips up his arm. “I volunteer as tribute.”

* Allie had drunken sex with Dean and we don’t even get to “see” it?! Boooooo.

* Lol one night of kinky sex and he’s hooked.

* Man, I don’t like this O’Shea coach at all. Fuck this dude.

* Lol the boys are talking twilight. About imprinting on pussy 😂

* Damn. Allie has some good self control.

* Dean’s sexting game is on point 😏

* She finally caved! It’s about damn time lol

* This coach is seriously pissing me off. Get him the fuck outta there.

* Lmfaoooo. Omg. Logan walked in on them in the bathroom, but Allie hid before he saw her, and now Logan thinks Dean is getting it on with a giant pink dildo in a bubble bath 🤣 I can’t fucking breathe.

* Holy shit. She tried to call off the fling because she got jealous and Dean just said “nope. fling definitely not over.”

* Wtf, Sean?! What made you think going to LA with Allie was what she wanted? 😂

* So that’s why Frank hates Dean. Still.. fuck that dude.

* I get Allie’s dad is looking out for her, but did he have to be such a dick about it?

* Dude, Dean is in love lol.

* Poor Beau got an earful of Dean fingerbanging Allie lmfao.

* Fuck Sean!

* Awww. Allie and Dean are together 🥹

* Dean would make a good coach.

* Lmfao. Allie knocked out Dean?! For what!! Pls tell me they were watching a scary movie and she freaked when he got home.

* Lmao it was a scary movie! 😂😂😂

* They said “I love you” 😩 but why do I feel like there’s gonna be one more hurdle that’s gonna test them..?

* You killed off Beau?!

* And here’s the hurdle. Dean’s spiraling from his grief. Jesus, he completely let Allie down by not showing up to opening night 😔

* No girlfriend. No team. Wow. He really fucked up.

* Aww. Dean and Allie’s dad are bonding 🥹

* How are you gonna end the book with Tucker’s bombshell 😂

[phillipcole]

The Late Show with Stephen Colbert part 2

Colbert: Welcome back. Now to explain why Madonna is not the last name on Phillip's sick list: Phillip and Cole's Variety Team.

PBC: Madonna is not the last person on Phillip's sick list. Each of us do have some criticism of the beloved and prolific entertainer. First of all, Phillip is too sick to leave home these days, but he did say the following:

Phillip: The most objectionable thing about Miss Ciccone was her first choice of a husband, a man who continues to show himself a poor representative of mankind.

PBC: Rupert, you're next.

Rupert: (On a projection screen) Cheerio, this is Phillip's cousin Rupert in England. I had no problem at all with Madonna. After all, compared to some of the singers in the UK she held herself in an almost respectable way. Then she married a British subject as her second husband and moved here. That put her into the same septic tank so many of our own singer bred in and she began to smell like them. Not only that, but she eventually divorced her British husband and didn't even move away! Folks, especially women all over the globe, if you marry an Englishman stay with him for life or move away!

Ford: Thank you Rupert. I'm Ford, a former judge in Tennessee and, as a judge in Tennessee I have no jurisdiction, nor do I have authority over persons accused of crimes in other jurisdictions. However without exception I can not watch any crime related movies without passing sentence according to the laws of Tennessee. On at least 2 occasions I have watched movies in which Madonna played characters who confessed to crimes. For those I have no choice but to sentence her in absentia to a period of not less than 3 years in prison in any Tennessee jurisdiction and I certainly do not approve of that.

Cole: (On the projection screen) I'm Cole from Tennessee, a cousin of Ford. I don't care much about crimes or who she marries. I figger I never had a chance. What bothers me about Madonna is her name. Hell, she ain't never been no parygon of virtue, and I don't know why the Catholics changed the name of the virgin Mary to Madonna. I ain't Catholic, so I figger that's their business. Still, a young slutty woman who goes into singin' can call herself anythin' she wants. Why mess up people by takin' a name that about half the world thinks is sumfin holy. If I go to see a concert with someone named Madonna I expect hymns and arias, not erotic gyratin'. So for about 30 years I was mad about that. Then I found out Madonna is the name her parents gave her! Now I'm even madder. Y'all's supposed to keep the name yer parents give yer, no matter how much yer hate it.

PBC: Thank you Cole. It's my turn now. My biggest objection to Madonna was the way she dressed, notably those ugly lopsided outfits in that first movie she did. I was a young man when she became famous and couldn't look at the screen because the clothes were such a turnoff, the complete opposite of the reason I wanted to see it in the first place. You're next, Brad.

Brad: (On the projection screen) I'm Brad, Cole's cousin and Ford's younger brother. I'm with ya Phil about the clothes, especially showin' off her bras all the time. She became famous just about the time gals in Tennessee started learnin' to go braless and boy did that send ever'thin in the wrong direction. Anyway my biggest problem with Madonna is her songs. We like ballads down here in the south, and even if she figgered she had to sing kinda fast on accounta the songs weren't any good she coulda found a way to make 'em into a little story. Did that feller open his heart? Who was that girl? Did she keep the baby? Come on, gal, tell us. It only takes one line!

Norbert: I guess I'm l-l-l-ast heh heh heh heh heh again heh heh. m-m-m-my-my-my-my p-p-p-pr-problem with Madonna, es-es-es-especially. wh-wh-wh-wh-when I was young heh heh heh heh heh heh is is-is-is that I have...as...as-asthma heh heh heh heh heh heh heh and -and-and wh-wh-when I s-saw her first vi-vi-videos I-I-I c-c-c-...heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh.

(Norbert falls down. Curtain closes.)

Colbert: we'll be right back.

[yeosatinyngz]

Toman watching a horror movie

↳GN Reader | Fluff

➼Warning: Spoilers for a quiet place 2

Request Rules ➣ Masterlist

Request by: @etherealaesthetic-anon

I don’t really watch much horror movies so I just used a quiet place 2

After convincing the whole gang to watch a horror movie they were all now seated. You turned on the movie and went to close the lights for dramatic effect. 

The Abbott family has just stepped into a fenced area and Evelyn accidentally sets off an alarm causing panic to arise within the Toman members. The creatures were alerted by the alarm and to make matters worse Marcus accidentally stepped on a bear trap screaming in terror. A creature was inching closer and closer towards the family’s direction causing many of the boys to yell at the screen. “Oh come on!” “Holy shit, run for your lives!” “You just had to step on a bear trap Marcus.” However, Mikey was screaming for a different reason. “Oh my god! His poor feet!” 

Evelyn and Regan were quick to kill the creature and they got to work on setting Marcus free from the bear trap. The boys all clapped, shouting a few, “great work ladies.” “and that’s how it’s done.” The family ran into the abandoned foundry and were helped by a man (Emmett) who took them into a soundproof bunker. 

After Regan leaves on her own to try to find survivors she comes across an abandoned train upon the train tracks she was walking along, While venturing inside the train crows flew by and made noises. “Oh hell nah, don’t tell me.” A creature appeared on the train and Baji let out a huge scream, “I fucking knew it!” Regan shot at the creature once but wasn’t able to kill it, after cocking the rifle again it unfortunately got stuck while the creature crept closer and closer towards her. “It’s the end guys, SHE’S GOING TO DIE.” “I CAN’T WATCH ANYMORE.” Souya said while covering his eyes but still peeking through his fingers. However, our lord and savior Emmett came and saved her. “LET’S GO!!!” “WOO!!”

Evelyn left to get some medical supplies and everyone immediately started screaming at the screen again. “Oh, this can’t be good!” “Get your ass back here women!” “Leaving Marcus alone with the baby? You’re crazy women!” Marcus stepped out of the bunker to explore the foundry and everyone was yelling complaints. “Get your ass back in that bunker!” “Shits going down.” “Something bad’s about to happen guys.” As soon as Chifuyu said that Marcus found a decomposing body and was startled to the point he knocked something onto the ground alerting a nearby creature. “OF FUCKING COURSE MARCUS, IT’S ALWAYS YOU, HOW ARE YOU NOT DEAD AT THIS POINT?!”  “CAN’T YOU JUST LEARN TO STAY STILL AND NOT DO STUPID SHIT?!” “BOY USE SOME COMMON SENSE.” Just as everyone was complaining about Marcus he locked himself in the vault with the baby and some of the boys started tossing popcorn at the screen and they all chorused a “BOO!” 

While Regan and Emmett were traveling they were attacked by bandits and luckily Emmett was quick at thinking and was able to get a creature to kill out the bandits while he and Regan safely got on a boat. That’s when Emmett witnessed a creature drowning and realized that the creatures can’t swim. After a while they both made it onto a secluded island that had other survivors. Emmett talks with the colony leader about the creatures and the next morning he heard a noise coming from the boat and came to the horrifying realization that a creature actually came onto the island as well in the boat. A loud scream was heard and you all turned around to Nahoya. “What are you guys looking at? Souya was the one who screamed.” “That was obviously you!” You all then turned your attention back to the movie playing before you guys. 

Emmett tried warning everyone but it was too late as the creature was rampaging around and killing every human on sight. They got into a car that was driven by the colony leader and as the car was speeding along the creature flew right onto the back of the car. That’s when popcorn flew up into the air and onto your heads. “Who just wasted our popcorn?” You all turn around to a frightened Mikey who accidentally jolted so hard that he threw all the popcorn. “Hehe, sorry guys, got scared.” The creature was digging its claws into the car and ripping the whole car roof off. “OMG OMG THEY’RE GOING TO DIEEEEE.” 

As the three made it to the radio station the colony leader insisted on going back to his family and as soon as he said that the creature grabbed him by his ankles and dragged him away, while you all heard his screams as the creature was killing him. Multiple screams were heard around you and you swore you heard crying as well? You turned around to see Takemichi crying and you handed him a tissue and patted his back. “It’ll be alright Takemitchy.” 

Regan and Emmett lured the creature into the radio station and Emmett distracts it while Regan tries to get into the control room. At the same time at the foundry, a creature made its way into the bunker and Evelyn raced to get into the vault but wasn’t able to successfully close it. “THEY’RE GONNA DIE, THEY’RE GOING TO FUCKING DIE.” Regan puts her hearing aid onto the mic and it emits a high pitched frequency that weakens the creature. “WOO YOU GO GIRL!”

Marcus hears the high pitched frequency through the radio and plays it to weaken the creature that was reaching its claws into the vault. The creature backs away from the vault as Marcus steps forward with the radio. While walking towards the creature with the radio he grabs Evelyn’s pistol and shoots the creature. “OMG MARCUS NOT MESSING SHIT UP FOR ONCE?!!” “OK MARCUS, WE’LL FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS.” While at the radio station Regan impales a microphone stand into the creature’s head and kills it. “YOU GO GIRL, STAB THAT STAND INTO THAT UGLYASS’S HEAD.” “MVP OF THE MOVIE GOES TO REGAN!” 

Then the movie ends with Regan’s hearing aid attached to the microphone in the control room for anyone else to use to protect themselves with. Everyone applauded as the credits rolled. “Well that was an emotional rollercoaster ride.” Everyone agreed.

Baji being the menace he was, decided to get behind Takemichi and scare him. He jolted Takemichi forward and yelled “boo!” And Takemichi flew off the couch. Baji’s laughter filled the room as Takemichi was crying yet again. “That was not cool Baji.” Mikey directed at said male. “Shhh, the creatures will come get you if you don’t shut up.” The color on Mikey’s face drains, “Really?! Omg Y/N-chin can I sleep over today? And can you protect me from the creatures?” “Mikey, you do know that they don’t exist right?” He clears his throat, “Haha of course I did, I was just testing you.” “Liar.” 

“Guys, we should do this more often.” “NO!” A few of them protested against the idea.

[secondbeatsongs]

please write part three of your icarly meta i’m gonna cry about spencer as a quirky queer man he was always my favorite and i just want him to be happy

I will get back to Spencer, because I have some more things to say about him - but for now, let’s take a little detour.

let’s talk about Freddie.

at the beginning of the show, Freddie is definitely a weird kid. he’s got a crush on Carly, but it’s nearly obsessive, and he has a hard time acting normal around her.

over the years, he mellows out, and grows into himself more - just like Spencer, he’s very passionate about what he does, but it takes him some time to figure out how he fits into their friend group, and how to express his creativity without overthinking it.

and also just like Spencer, Freddie is not heterosexual.

okay, so sure - he’s not rollerblading everywhere or joining a book club. but there’s more than one way to be queer! even in a show like this, you don’t have to be flamboyant to be very obviously attracted to dudes (which Freddie is, by the way. more on that in a bit).

let’s go to season 1 again.

s01e09 (iWill Date Freddie) is a cute episode in which tiny, baby Freddie Benson goes on his first date! and when his mom finds out about his plans, there is this exchange:

Mrs. Benson: “I’m so proud of you; I can’t believe this is finally happening! Your first date...”

Freddie: “Mom...”

Mrs. Benson: “...And with a girl!”

Freddie: “Mom!”

Sam: (sarcastically) “We’re all in shock...”

now, this may seem like period-typical homophobia on the part of the writers (that’s because it is!), but in-universe, it also lends us a little insight as to how Freddie’s mom views him - she’s been wondering if he might be gay. but, don’t worry! he’s going on a date with a girl, therefore he must be straight, and so Mrs. Benson is delighted.

(this poor child.)

but the above interaction is not the gayest part of this episode. oh, no. that happens when Freddie asks Spencer for first date advice, and Spencer says that if he runs out of things to say, he should stare deeply into the girl’s eyes, because it’ll make him seem cool and mysterious.

Freddie starts to say “Yeah, I don’t really think that works...” but when he looks up, Spencer is staring deeply into his eyes, cheerful and earnest. and just like that, Freddie loses his train of thought and stares back, falling silent.

I really don’t know what the writers were trying for there, but like...holy shit, right? that’s gay as hell.

there’s actually a decent amount of evidence that Freddie has a crush on Spencer - and no, it’s not just about the time Spencer taught him how to fence (though it is very much about that).

it’s also about s03e08 (iQuit iCarly). in this episode, we learn that Spencer has a birthmark on his butt. I’m not kidding - this is a canon fact about Spencer Shay.

“but how do we know this?” you might ask. oh, friends. we know this because Freddie notices it when he checks out Spencer’s ass.

that’s not even a joke. that actually happened. Spencer had set up a bunch of mirrors so he could watch TV while taking a shower. and, apparently unable to resist, Freddie checks him out in one of the mirrors and asks about his birthmark.

what a show, you guys. what a show.

even besides all of that, I think the friendship between Freddie and Spencer is really interesting. here’s Freddie, this little nerdy kid with an incredibly overbearing mom - a mom who gives him tick baths every other week, a mom who installed a chip in his head so that she could track him everywhere he goes - and then right next door, there’s Spencer Shay.

Spencer, who let him crash in their living room when he didn’t want to go home to his mother. Spencer, who asked, “Think it’d be okay with your mom?” when Freddie wanted to try fencing, but when Freddie said, “No...” only grinned and exclaimed, “Let’s do it!”

for Freddie, Spencer is a bad influence in the best possible way. it’s Spencer who gives him dating advice, who nerds out with him about video games and movies, and who is, for the most part, his only male role model.

(no wonder Freddie has a crush on him)

but while I’m talking about the men in Freddie’s life...where is his dad? like, genuinely, where the fuck is Freddie’s dad?

and, more importantly - who is Freddie’s dad? because you see, Freddie’s mom is Mrs. Benson. that’s the name she’s called throughout the show - not Ms. Benson, but Mrs. Benson - implying that it’s her married name.

but in s01e22 (iFence), we find out that Freddie’s great-grandfather ran a troupe of fencers called The Fencin’ Bensons. his great-grandfather on his mom’s side of the family.

now, I’m not saying that anything bad happened here - but I do think it’s interesting that the show hints that Freddie’s parents had the same last name.

if we dig, we can find out a bit more - there was an unaired scene from s03e03 (iSpeed Date), where Freddie mentions that his father’s name is/was Leonard Benson, and confirms that his parents had the same last name before they were married. unfortunately, this never made it into the show, and is therefore not canon. and still, it doesn’t answer the biggest question - where’s Freddie’s dad?

there is no concrete answer to this. just like Carly and Spencer’s mom, Mr. Benson was never mentioned on the show.

turns out this show has kind of a lot of absent parents. I’m not sure how to feel about that.

so, this post has gone on long enough, but I have a lot of feelings about Freddie, so once more I’m going to talk about the show’s finale.

Freddie Benson got maybe the worst ending out of all of the characters.

if you haven’t seen the finale (warning, spoilers, I guess?), you should know that it was weird. it’s a long episode and a lot of things happen, but here is basically how it ended:

* Carly’s dad showed up and asked her to move to Italy with him

* Carly packed up, said goodbye to everyone, and then left.

* Freddie got all of his tech stuff from their studio, took it back to his apartment, and leaned on the door a bit, thinking about the past.

* Sam got on her motorcycle (I’ll talk more about this in another post), and rode off into the distance, her destination unclear.

* Spencer sat on the couch, smiled to himself like he was trying not to cry, and accidentally set his squirrel sculpture on fire.

that’s it. that’s how the show ended.

Spencer’s ending is one of the hardest for me to think about - he raised this kid for at least twelve years, and now she’s gone, no looking back, and that’s sad.

but Spencer is an adult, and he’ll be okay. he knew parenting was a thankless job, and he can be happy now - Carly gets to be with their dad! she gets to go off and have adventures, and that’s why he’s smiling a little at the end. it hurts, but he’s happy for her. his job is done - time to figure out what the fuck to do with the rest of his life (weird gay stuff, probably).

and Sam? Sam will be fine. she’s always been able to take care of herself, and she knows what she’s doing - even if she’s reckless, she’ll turn out okay.

Freddie’s ending is what gets me the most. the day before, he was the technical producer for a hugely successful web show, with two best friends who’d been with him since middle school. and then, suddenly, all of that was gone.

Freddie Benson had to graduate high school without his two best friends by his side. he had to figure out a new purpose for his life, something else that could help him escape from the life his mother wants him to live. because after the series finale? most of Freddie’s life is back to what it was in season 1.

sure, he’s got Gibby, and that’s great! but he was always closer to Sam, Carly, and Spencer. Spencer, who he probably won’t hang out with much, now that he doesn’t have the excuse of him being his best friend’s older brother.

like, shit, you guys - this is heartbreaking to me. he had everything, and then he had to enter the next part of his life completely alone.

I just...I can’t get over it. Freddie Benson deserved better.

[thesevenwondersofawitch]

I'm on the final episode of Star Trek Next Gen

I feel like Deanna is kinda getting tired of Worf saying the word stimulating😂

Data's house is full of cats, whata mood😂

Riker is definitely not all good with Deanna dating Worf, and I find it completely hilarious that he's distracted by it

IS THE CAPTAIN OF THE MEDICAL SHIP BEVERLY?!

Hell yeah! It is!

Wait, Beverly is married to Picard? Huh.

Beverly's look at Jean-Luc when he also responded to the person saying Captain Picard 😂

Huh, they're divorced. Sounds about right 😂

"He's Jean-Luc Picard, and if he wants to go on one more mission, that's what we're going to do." The foreshadowing to Picard👀

The poor past Enterprise crew is so confused😂

It seriously took Picard that long to realize Q was involved? I figured that out as soon as the first people showed up in his vision.

Oh SHIT, THE TRIAL NEVER ENDED!!

"You're going to deny us travel through space?" Dude no, he's Q, he's probably gonna deny you the ability to exist

I was right! Ha!

Yeah Jean-Luc, you definitely have a much bigger problem than you realized.

Jean-Luc Picard,

The man who caused the annihilation of mankind.

Role model indeed.

Q sees Picard as a pet💀 thank you Data 😂

There's no love lost between Worf and Admiral Rider, it would seeem🤔

Not gonna lie, I thought Word's ship slammed on the brakes abruptly when he jerked forward saying "Dor-sHo GHA!"😂

Aw, Beverly had Picard sit in the chair for old times sake😭

Poor past O'Brien, he's so confused

Oh my god, did they find old footage of Riker? Because it doesn't look like he's talking on a video call

"So, Captain, how long shall we stare at each other across the Neutral Zone?" The extraness of this dialogue delivery 😂

Makes me wonder how long they were staring at each other on video, or if the dude is referring to the ships

There is nothing there, future Picard, nothing. No need to yell.

And undermine Beverly on her own ship!

Seriously though, the poor past Enterprise crew 😂

Oof, I do not envy Geordi right now

HOLY HELL, HE'S GROWING NEW EYES?!?!

*deadpan* Oh no, a rupture in time. Whatever shall happen, I wonder? However will they survive?

Seriously tho, I would have such doubts about going on the Enterprise if this Picard was the Captain and being completely confusing.

Rip to Ensign Chilton

Goodness, that makeup Riker is wearing is quite something 👀

Ok, there is definitely some tension between Worf and Riker. Did something happen to Deanna and that's what's causing the tension? I wanna know!

Alyssa's baby, noooooo.😭

Why hello Q

Picard is the cause of the anomaly 👀

Truth be told, I thought that was where this was gonna go.

Oh shit, three identical time pulses 👀

Oh no

Okay, so the thing between Worf and Riker has been going for over 20 years🤔

Deanna's funeral? Shit, I didn't want to be correct that something happened to her

"I always thought that we would get together again. And then she was gone."😭 Meh heart💔

Picard, you do sound kinda cray

Good job Data! You understood what he was saying. Of course, when it comes from Data everything makes much more sense.

Sometimes.

I would really prefer to transfer to another ship if I was on the Enterprise during this past Enterprise experience

The ship shaking makes me imagine the scene to the song Party Rockers

It worked! Yay!

The Continuum didn't believe in Jean-Luc Picard, but Q did, and sometimes that's all Picard needs

Q's out here giving so much good advice.

And it's back to when he interrupted Worf and Deanna's kiss!😂

That long look shared between Riker and Worf, you would think they were having a telepathic conversation 😂

Deanna!! She sat next to Will, and in my book that says something good😂

Picard joined them at the poker table ❤️

That ending scene, man. It was a sweet end to the TV series 😭😁

Now I gotta go find which movie to watch next

Overall, the show was good, and on a 0/10 scale, I'd rate it a solid 8.😁

[winterpower98]

I watched the the Monkey King Reborn movie with Kai, Rhy and a few other people!

Here's my reaction to it!

(Obviously contains spoilers for the movie)

If people would like to see the movie, here’s a handy link to where you can watch it free with subtitles

Primordium!?! Wasn't his name Huandi or something?

Is that him?!? Oh no it's just Tripitaka, fuck you

Excuse me!? MY demon!?!

Ah there is our emo boy

Hello what that tongue do?

Look at that statue, look at that background ( I did gush about the backgrounud and character designs a lot so I cut them out of this reaction for the sake of not being tedious)

Rhy: Why did they gave him eyeliner? Me: Why NOT

Everyone in VC: Get his ass

Oh no this is the part with the ugly bugs designs, oh no

Sir don't hit the grandpa

Kai: Sir you're already immortal Me: Does it look like he cares!?!

What the fuck- drugs!?

He actually looks concerned!?

NOW he's angry. Don't touch his monk

Kai: Come and murder Wukong, go boy

RIP to the tree and the babies

With the TONGUE why???

Ah yes, the damsel in distress is back again

Kai: Gay baby jail

I'm still not over the Primordium name

Why did they gave him this... Mafioso walk????

Did we already forget about the horse?

Kai: Fucked up deer Me: HOLY SHIT they're eating each other!?!

Demon: No salamander is this ugly Me: DAMN BOY

WHEEZE

Strike one! That’s a knock-out boys

Kai: Sir you have no eyeliner, how do you hope to win?

*baby fruit appears*

Everyone in VC: BABY

Kai: Why does it look wet?

Rhy: DO A SPLIT!

Kai: Learn to fly!

Me: I mean, he is a golden cicada so

Everyone in VC: You're a dad! Boogy woogy woogy!

Sandy tries, at least he tries to be nice

All of us: we love Sandy, he's so nice On screen: *Sandy about to die by demons*

Rhy: Father? I apologise. Father? I apologise

Kai: THE CHILD IS SAD. COMFORT YOUR BABY

we really went from zero to 100% fast

Kai: Do they keep the teeth? Do they keep the sharp teeth Me: That is important information

Kai and Esmermint: Is Tripitaka baby? Is baby Tripitaka?

Look at that happy father smile

AH The fucking staff back in the ear!

Everyone: AAWW! Papa! A Dad!

Esmermint: He really is moist father now

Wukong: *does the eye glow thing* Everyone: ooooOOOOO

Excuse me was that a growl? Excuse me?

He's covered in dust, no more moist baby

Diety: you're still so handsome! Wukong: *loses grip on the staff: Me: That's gay Kai: That's fruity

Me: The baby is going to die Rai: We all die sooner or later Kai: You're not special

Yeah

Telling Wukong to ask for help is not going to work

Hello DBK's girlfriend

LOOK AT JIN AND YIN They're going to die so bad

Kai: Human form? Me: For the monster fuckers Esmermint: He do be looking fine tho

Baby: I do like being called Fruitie! Kai: Me too Me: WHEEZE

Wukong: I'm an evil demon Me: Press X to doubt

Me: Look at these bros Esmermint: Me and the bros

PIGGY DADDY!?!

No please

Hello!?! Bajie about to wreck ass

More monkeys!?! Hell yea- Why are they so ugly!? Why are they bald!?!

(two types of people when Primordium appears on screen) Rhy: Daddy? Sorry. Daddy? Esmermint: Let me see this ugly man!

Rai: Me next! Me next! Me: WHEEZE! NO!

No please, this hurts! The poor baby!

Kai: Stop, he's not going to die Me: I mean, I know. But consider: I don't care

Kai: Moist baby c'mon! Esmermint: Stop, it's scared Kai: Die bitch!

Sir please

*baby starts to cry*

Sir please

Oh hi Trip! You missed a lot! You’re a grandpa now

*Tripitaka dies*

Kai: Buddha I don't feel so good

Me: Hello? What is this Dragon Ball Z bullshit? Kai: Yeah! Clip his toenail! Esmermint: The baby is moisturizing

I don't feel so good 2, electric boogaloo

I swear, if my "on fire Wukong" design becomes canon I'll scream

I SWEAR APOLLO

I know this song! This is THE song!

Rhy: Don't put on a shirt, just, keep it off

Me: W H E E Z E

Kai: Wack him like a fly!

Kai: I wish that was me Me: KAI Rhy: I wish that was me too Me: GUYS

Wukong: I have a soul Kai: And you're made of lava Me: And you're smoking hot

Someone: Herobrine Me: Who the fuck said Herobrine!?

Me: Is the horse still at longevity mountain? Rai: He's just vibing

Ah yes, the gay is back

THAT'S HOW IT ENDS!?!

bastards

Kai: There's the horse! Rai: Horse! Me: Ah there's the fucking thing

-extra scene-

Kai: Bring the baby back Me: Nah she'll just bring back the tree

Cheeky ape!?!

Fruitie Look at this fucking father

[burningcrab]

ALSO for kiss writing ask. 44 + ruffian/york . if u want

oh hell yes i love stupid teenagers. (this ruffian uses he/she and is an interp from my piece for dasy’s zine! she is an angry little teen and i love him. pspsps read it…)

44. public kisses

Ruffian is absolutely losing his fucking mind down here. Body-thieving some poor Shoe Thief for long enough to strike out isn’t enough. He needs to lift her own bat and feel the breeze on her (not through) and touch some fucking grass.

She’s been sulking for… an indeterminate period of time… when someone splashes out of the dark towards her. “What do you want,” he grumbles. “I don’t want another deathday party.”

“New arrival,” mumbles Hands. Ruffian feels a twinge of regret. She’ll grudgingly admit it’s nice not being the only Mechanic down here. Hands is… alright. Sie doesn’t deserve that. “Thought you’d wanna see him. Going now.”

Ruffian flops around in her own private tantrum for a minute, then gets up. At least a new dead guy is something. Fuck. Off he shuffles, to the big doors that don’t let people out. (Except when they do, but Ruffian hasn’t been one of them yet. Why should he care?)

The latest splashdown is short, and they’re clutching something. Weird. Most people show up with nothing but the shirt on their backs and the smell of smo—

“York?” Ruffian says, stopping short. A dead star coughs up his final lungful of Trench-black not-water and looks up at her.

“Oh, hey,” he wheezes. “Ruffian.”

“You fucking asshole,” Ruffian manages to say. He drags York to his feet and dips him low — and nearly drops him back down again, holy shit how does this look so easy in movies — and he kisses York Silk.

um

A squid the size of the Core floats over them.

gonna give you a minute

i guess

hey there york silk

ill go check the snacks

York doesn’t technically need to breathe, but he’s still got the hardwiring of a living guy with oxygen requirements. He finally gets himself together enough to break away from her. There’s a hot flush creeping up his neck even in the chill of the Hall, and he’s dropped the Vibe Check into the shallow water they stand in.

“You seriously never got up the courage to kiss me before I bit it?!” Ruffian says. She stands York back up and brushes him off a bit. “You jerk.”

“I didn’t know how to ask,” complains York.

Ruffian groans. “Maybe hey there my main Mech man mister Ruffian Applesauce you’re hot can we make out or something would have worked! I dunno, I’m not the one who invited his buddies over for Mario Party and then said whoever gets shot out of the Goomba cannon first has to kiss the winner. You used a Slowgo Candy instead of just turning to the left and kissing me right there.”

“You would have won if it wasn’t for the bonus stars.”

“They’re part of the game, York. Plan around them!”

“Can I kiss you back now?”

Ruffian waves to the crowd of other dead surrounding them. Some politely avert their eyes, others grin in the smug, knowing way adults do, and some just look eager to talk to York. Hands gives Ruffian a little thumbs-up.

“You don’t mind everyone looking?” she asks.

York shrugs. “I’m used to it,” he says, and flashes his beautiful little evening-news grin.