#Notre subconscient

[energiologue]

ROMPRE LE CYCLE DE L’IMPUISSANCE

Permettez-moi de vous poser une question : combien de fois vous sentez-vous impuissant au cours d’une seule journée, submergée par des obligations et des attentes irréalistes, coincé dans des situations qui vous semblent impossibles à changer, ou victime de personnes ou d’émotions que vous ne pouvez pas contrôler ? Pourtant, nous sommes nés avec un potentiel illimité de croissance, d’adaptation…

[leclerc-s]

suffering since forever

series masterlist

natalia ruiz praying for all of you because at least i like my third wheel

arthur leclerc that's because joris has been stuck with you two since before you were couple

fernando alonso you can say it, since before they were sleeping together.

carlos sainz it's not like joris has a choice.

lewis hamilton and the rest of you do?

max jones-verstappen we don't. we do it subconsciously.

daphne jones-ricciardo like that makes it any better max.

rhys jones i bet it hurt when jorris got that wag of the year trophy and you didn't.

natalia ruiz who let the child speak?

isabella perez she says that because she's hurt.

natalia ruiz i'm not hurt by the 12 year old.

rhys jones I'M 15!!

lance stroll yet you act like you're 12

rhys jones i know your ass isn't talking esteban ocon anyone ever tell you that you're scary? rhys jones never to my face.

zoya torres joris doesn't deserve this heat. let's talk about freya's 3rd wheeling habit.

freya vettel shut your trap torres.

alex albon days like this make me glad that george and carmen love to go on double dates so we don't get stuck with any of you.

george russell and that's because i don't want to get stuck with them.

dulce perez fuck you guys we're delights.

pato o'ward i can't believe i ever thought you people were cool.

daniel jones-ricciardo WE'RE COOL!!

pato o'ward the only cool thing about you is your wife.

penelope trevino REAL!!

gael perez i think pato almost shit his pants when he learned daphne was in this group chat.

pato o'ward IT'S DAPHNE FUCKING JONES, WEY! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO NOT FREAK OUT?

daniel jones-ricciardo *jones-ricciardo!!

pato o'ward i couldn't care less bitchiardo! i will forever pray for your downfall so i can marry your wife instead.

isabella perez he's so real for that. HURRY UP RICCIARDO THE REST OF US ARE WAITING!!

daniel jones-ricciardo if i ever die let if be known that one of you bitches was behind my death.

daphne jones-ricciardo you people are unbelievable.

natalia ruiz i'll be first in line. i've been waiting for his downfall for the longest time.

daniel jones-ricciardo

this is all your fault.

whatever it is you think i did i swear it was arthur.

charles what did you do?

nothing! what’s wrong amour?

i have a baby screaming for 'unca jo' bring him back now.

ma cherie, i wish i could but i have a race.

okay? send joris and you stay in china.

we only need unca jo, notre petite étoile doesn't need her papa. (our little star)

i know that was a joke but it still hurt. don't tell me that!

you still have a few years left until she's a teenager.

ne pouvons-nous pas avoir cette conversation? je ne suis pas prêt pour ça (can we not have this conversation? i'm not ready for that)

seriously charles ask joris to call me, even zoya's music isn't helping.

i'll tell him to call. just come to china.

i will hop on the first flight to china, do not joke about that.

max said he's sending the jet to pick you up.

god bless sophie for her son.

not jos?

never that man.

natalia_ruiz posted new stories

unseen photo of baby jewel and her 'unca jo' 📸 - zoya because my fiancé and daughter have been stolen by his best friend. and another unseen photo but this time it's pre-baby jewel, joris has been a third wheel since day 1!

taglist: @burningcupcakefire @arkhammaid @applopie @sunflower-golden-vol6 @lorarri @bb-swift @thewannabewriter @mypage-myfandoms @stopeatread @hobiismyhopeu @lilsiz @alessioayla @niniluvsainz @au-ghosttype @six-call @justtprachisblog @nichmeddar @landonorizzz @unluckyyoshi @cool-ultra-nerd @kami10471633 @1nt3rnetgf @fernandoswarcrimes @arieltwvdtohamflash @brekkers-whore @natcha888 @camdensreg @mycenterfold @dear-fifi @georgeparisole @dan3avocado @nikfigueiredo @namgification @jensonsonlybutton @weekendlusting @trouble-sistar @lesliiieeeee @leclercsluv @33-81 @theseus-jpg @sarah-thatstings-ann @minmira95 @casperlikej @formulaonebuff @hopenshaw @ijustgomessitupx @hwalllllllelujah @doodlehunz @prongsvault

¡leclerc-s speaks! this one is a more wholesome one but it's still got it's sense of humor. can you tell i'm still watching greys?

¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

[cy-cyborg]

Writing Disability: Let us Love like everyone else

[ID: An illustrated picture of a red rose on a pink background. To the left of the rose is white text that reads "Writing Disability: Let us Love like everyone else. /End ID]

Romance is one of the top-selling genres in the world across mediums, and pretty much every movie, TV show, book and game has at least one romance sub-plot. You don’t need to look far to find it. However, when it comes to disabled characters, a lot of creators shy away from giving us romantic plot lines or even hesitate to address the topic of disability and attraction being present in the same character at all. So, since it’s Valentine’s day, I thought now would be the perfect time to discuss it.

It can be easy to miss if you aren't paying attention, but a surprising number of stories in various mediums will pair up most if not all of their main cast of characters by the end of the plot… with the exception of the disabled characters. whether they be explicitly stated to be disabled or just coded as such, disabled characters are more frequently left out of relationships by the story's end. Sometimes, the disabled character will be completely disinterested or the subject is just never addressed, such as with Toph from Avatar the Last Airbender. Toph is implied to have had multiple relationships by the time of the sequel series, but unlike the rest of the original gang, we never see it on screen, so I personally think it doesn't count for reasons I'll get into in a moment. Alternatively, the disabled character will show interest in someone, but their affection is just not reciprocated, such as in Disney’s Hunchback of Notre Dame. Disney's Hunchback is a particularly noteworthy example since it's one of the only theatrical Disney movies where the main character has a clearly stated love interest, but doesn't end up with them by the end.

ID: an screenshot of the hunchback of notre dame showing Quasiemodo, a man with a hunchback and facial differences swinging and singing on at spire at the top of the notre dame cathedral. /End ID

In the latter case, where the disabled character’s love is not reciprocated, these stories will often focus on the importance of self-discovery and self-love. An important message to be sure, but the fact that these “you don’t need a partner as long as you love yourself” stories very often centre disabled characters is frustrating, to say the least (If the character isn’t disabled, they’re often deemed “undesirable" for other reasons, such as being fat, but that’s a topic for another day).

Of course, the reason the character doesn’t end up with their love interest doesn't have to be because of their disability specifically. Even if they were turned down for other reasons, it can still contribute to the stereotype that disabled people can’t find love even when they want to, just aren’t desirable as partners (a sentiment that is especially commonly directed at visibly disabled people) and contributes to the overall lack of representation of disabled relationships.

In the other case I mentioned before, where a disabled character is just not interested in romance, can look different depending on the kind of disability the character has, but in my experience, it often comes from the same place: discomfort. This isn't necessarily a conscious thought or decision on the creator’s end, mind you, but just because it's not intentional, doesn't mean it's not doing harm, even if it’s subconsciously.

A lot of the time, many creators don't even consider giving their disabled characters a love interest. the thought never even occurs to them. I can't pretend to know why for sure, but if I had to take a guess, its because the idea of disability and romance just don't go together in most people's eyes, so the thought never even crosses these creator's minds. But why? it comes back to that discomfort.

When we are talking about physical disabilities and those effecting the body but not the brain, the discomfort can come from a few places. First is the discomfort with disabled and visibly different bodies and how they work as a whole. I've spoken about this in the past, but just the idea of disability alone often makes non-disabled people deeply uncomfortable, and when it comes to visible disabilities, they are often forced to confront that, something that a lot of people are resistant to. they don't like thinking about it, and while many non-disabled creators have dealt with this discomfort enough to include us in their stories, they haven't deconstructed it enough to include us having things like romantic relationships.

This is why, despite the fact that Toph has children in The Legend of Korra, I’m still using her as an example. We see the other main character’s relationships and partners in the original show and in The Legend of Korra directly, but never hers. The most we ever hear of Toph’s love life is that Sue and Lin, her daughters, have different fathers. While the mention was good, when looking at this through the lens of “people are uncomfortable with disabled people being in relationships” you can see how the openly disabled character’s relationships only ever happening off screen and occasionally mentioned might still be an issue, even if that wasn’t the creator’s intent.

ID: A screenshot of the legend of Korra showing Toph, a middle-aged woman with black hair and metal armour, lecturing her two daughters. /End ID

this disparity becomes particularly noticeable, however, in media aimed at an older audience where romantic relationships often mean sex. When the relationship is expected to be sexual in nature, an extra layer of discomfort often appears. A lot of people just quite simply don't understand how sex works when you have a physical disability, and are extremely uncomfortable simply looking it up (there are educational resources out there on the subject, and even disability content creators who focus on educating people about sex and disability, I’m not talking about looking up porn). Often times, they just avoid it by simply not giving their disabled characters relationships of any kind to avoid having to address those questions.

There is also the fact that many people infantilise those with disabilities and associate us with children. This is more common when it comes to non-physical disabilities, such as those under the neurodivergent umbrella (which refers to any disability that primarily impacts the brain) and I'll talk about that in a moment, but it does happen with physical disabilities too, most notably with little people and disabilities that impact someone’s height or physical development. Often, for those of us with physical disabilities, the infantilization comes from people either directly associating us with children because of our appearance, or feeling as though we need to be protected like children.

When talking about disabled people in relationships, this might look like someone being hesitant to pair a disabled character up with someone without a disability because they “can’t protect themselves” if the relationship goes bad. This isn’t something I’ve seen stated directly much in media, mind you, but it is a response I’ve gotten from a surprising number of people in real life when I’ve asked why they don’t like the idea of “people like me” (meaning amputees and wheelchair users) dating. I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s the reason some authors and creatives avoid inter-abled relationships in their works based on how often I got that comment when I started dating; they are concerned about the power imbalance. but this mindset is based on both infantilization and the stereotype that physically disabled people are always inherently weaker. If you’re not always worried about how non-disabled characters would protect themselves in a relationship, why are you only worried it when one of the characters is disabled?

However, like I mentioned before, the disabled character being simply uninterested in romance or sex isn't unique to visibly and physically disabled people. It’s is so common with neurodivergent folks, in fact that it’s become a bunch of tropes all of their own, with the most common variant being where specifically autistic or autistic-coded characters will often be the only aromatic or asexual people in a story’s cast.

For those unfamiliar with the terms, aromatic people are those who experience little to no romantic attraction, or those who experience it differently to most, while asexual people are those who experience little to no sexual attraction (or, again, experience it differently to most). It’s a bit more complex than that, and both terms exist on a spectrum, but in order not to get too side-tracked, I’ll leave it there. I‘d highly, highly recommend Jaiden Animation’s video on the subject though if you want to learn more in a beginner-friendly way.

There’s this idea that a lot of non-disabled people get about neurodivergent folks, especially those with developmental or intellectual disabilities, that we are these sweet little innocent beans who don’t want to or simply can’t engage with “adult” things. In most cases though, this isn’t the true. For some folks, including many creators, this is once again an unconscious bias and is the result of them simply not thinking about or deconstructing their ideas around different kinds of disabilities. In these cases, the idea usually stems from the fact that there are some (keyword some) disabilities under this category that do impact someone’s ability to engage with things like sex and romantic relationships, and most people not overly familiar with the disability community just don’t know enough to understand that just because some people under this category can’t or don’t want to engage, doesn’t mean we all can’t.

Unfortunately though, when this is pointed out to a lot of people, instead of adjusting their viewpoint or seeking more information, they get severally uncomfortable about the idea, even going so far as calling someone who is dating someone with a developmental or intellectual disability as “creepy” because they, once again, associate people with these kinds of disabilities with children. Since children can’t consent, neither can we. This is, once again, infantilization, but much more directly.

While I haven’t seen the full episode (or much of the show as a whole), so I don’t really want to comment on weather it handled the subject well, I do at least appreciate that the show Glee calls this line of thinking out when one of the characters, Becky, who has down’s syndrome, begins dating someone without a disability. The parts of the episode I have seen shows several characters around Becky expressing concern, but their bias is called out by the end of the episode. What I have seen of Glee was during a particularly long stay in hospital while being given pretty strong medication so my memory of it is spotty (not to mention everything was out of order) so like I said, I can’t comment on weather or not it was good per say, but I do remember the discussion this episode sparked in my high school with students and teachers alike, and I remember it being the starting point for some important conversations with people.

As I said, there are some disabilities under the neurodivergent umbrella that might prevent a character from engaging in a romantic or sexual relationship. some. however, it's incredibly important to remember that a lot of these kinds of disabilities exist on a spectrum of support needs, and if the character in question's disability would be preventing them from doing so, they would typically be on the very severe ends of those spectrums and have very substantial support needs in other areas of life too. The vast majority of neurodivergent characters in media don't fall into this category. If you are writing someone who has these higher support needs (and please do, we need more characters like that!), be sure to do your research and double check your assumptions about their capability to engage though. Ensure it's actually reflective of their disability and isn't just based on stereotypes and misinformation. And don't forget, if you’re ever unsure, you can always check with a sensitivity reader or disability consultant.

Even in cases where a disabled character does get into a relationship, one of a few things frequently happen that I think authors might want to be mindful to avoid - or at least approach with caution.

The first is that the disabled character, despite being in a relationship, will be completely disinterested in sex (or any part of a physical relationship, such as kissing, if the content is aimed at a younger audience), often being implied or directly stated to be asexual. The first example of this that springs to mind for me is Sheldon Cooper from the Big Bang Theory. While Sheldon is never confirmed as autistic within the show, he displays many autistic traits throughout both the original show (albeit in a stereotypical way that’s played mostly for laughs) and in the spin-off, Young Sheldon. When Sheldon does eventually get into a relationship though and even gets married, he is shown to be very, very reluctant and overall disinterested in sex.

ID: A screenshot from Big Bang Theory of Amy and Sheldon sitting on a couch, where Amy looks annoyed towards someone off camera, while sheldon looks at her, confused. /End ID

So what’s the problem with this? in a vacuum, nothing. Some people don’t care for sex and don’t experience sexual attraction, and it’s fine to show that - we need more ace representation! I myself am disabled (an amputee and autistic) and asexual, shouldn’t I be glad to see characters like me?

Well, the issue isn’t that this is unrealistic, but rather overplayed and often contains a lot of misinformation about both asexual people and disabled folks.

My disabilities have nothing to do with my asexuality - which remember just means someone doesn’t experience sexual attraction; it has nothing to do with weather or not someone enjoys sex. However whenever asexuality and disability are paired together in the same character, it’s almost always because of the character’s disability. As in, the person in the wheelchair is ace because they can’t feel anything down there so they stopped feeling attracted to people (which is not even close to how that works, but is a real example I’ve seen on a few occasions now) or the autistic person is just too invested in telling you about trains, science, superhero’s or whatever their special interest is, to be worried about sex.

The other issue is, like I said, there’s a lot of examples of disabled ace characters already, and considering how poorly most are handled, many disabled people and asexual people alike are just tired of seeing it. Honestly, until both disability and ace representation and understanding as a whole, improve independently, it’s a combination of identities I’d recommend avoiding in your work, at least for now.

Finally, when a disabled character does enter a relationship, sexual or not, a very common dynamic is that the character will often get very insecure and scared that the person they’re dating doesn’t actually like them, or worries that the other person is settling for them, often resulting in their partner reassuring them that they love them, "despite their disability." A recent example of this can be seen in the web series Helluva boss between the character Fizzarolli, an imp who is a quadrilateral amputee with broken horns and facial scarring, and his boyfriend Asmodeus. While Fizzarolli’s insecurities are primarily focused on living up to impossible standards for success, he shouts during a panic attack that he believes that Asmodeus will leave him if he isn't successful, stating that without it, "this is who I am" - ripping off his hat to show his broken horns and scars (something we are told that he acquired in the same accident he lost his limbs in).

ID: A screenshot of Helluva Boss showing Fizzarolli, a cartoon imp in a clown outfit, patchy makeup and broken horns, anxiously holding his jester's cap in his hands. Behind him, Asmodeus, a large blue, feathery demon in a striped suit, looks on, concerned. /End ID

My problem with scenarios like these is once again, not that it’s unrealistic, but that it shows up constantly. The intention with these kinds of scenes is often to assure the character and by extension, disabled readers or viewers, that they are in fact deserving of love. That just because they’re disabled, doesn’t mean they’ll never find anyone. Once again, it's a good message, however, because of how prevalent this exact scene is, it can actually have the opposite effect.

Let’s step back from disability for a moment: If you see dozens and dozens of people with a feature you have, saying they are insecure about that same feature in almost all of of the shows you watch, the books you read, the games you play where characters with this feature appear, even if you aren’t insecure about it yourself, seeing over and over again that others are, it’s natural that it would start to make you doubt or wonder if you should be. Doubly so if that very insecurity prompts these big, often explosive and emotional scenes.

This was the case for me as a kid, I never really cared much about my disability outside of being annoyed that people stared at me, but as I got older, and I saw more and more characters in the media I consumed saying they were certain no one could love someone like them - someone like me - I became more and more worried. The messages that were supposed to be reassurances, instead told me over and over that the people these characters ”found” were the exception, not the rule, and that most people would, in fact, care that I was disabled and not want to date me. When all my friends began dating and getting into relationships, I began to worry that I would never find “my exception to the rule” and be alone forever.

I didn’t really get over that mindset until well into my 20’s, well into my current relationship with my now fiancé, and I know I wasn’t alone in these concerns. I used to work with teenage amputees, and this was a very, very common fear across all genders and sexualities. I still see it in forums and social media groups whenever newly disabled people join, it’s one of the more common fears brought up, and while I get that scenes like these are meant to reflect this reality and help, more often than not, they’re doing the opposite.

For once, I would love to see a disabled character get into a relationship, and for there not to be any mention of “are you sure?” “How could you ever love someone like me?” “I’m worried you don’t actually find me attractive” etc. These conversations are realistic, yes, but we see them so often that I just really wish I could see more examples of stories where the validity of the disabled character’s relationship is never questioned and is never a concern. It just is.

Of course, as with most of the subjects I’ve talked about before, many of these points are less of a concern if you have multiple disabled characters. If you only have one disabled character and have their love interest reject them, it can perpetuate these stereotypes about disabled people being unable to find love, but if you have another character who is successful in that reguard? Well, it’s much less of a concern. The same goes for if one of your disabled characters is asexual or aromantic, but there’s another disabled character who isn’t, or if one disabled character is insecure about their disability in their relationship, but another isn’t.

Of course, be mindful not to go too far in the other direction either. A lot of people are pretty shocked to learn that disability fetishization is also a thing, and while you shouldn’t shy away from showing disabled characters in sexual relationships just because they’re disabled, it is something you need to be mindful of if your story contains more explicit content. As a general rule of thumb, sowing your disabled characters engaging in the same kinds of relationships, romantic and sexual (including casual hook-ups and one-night-stands) is great, so long as it a) fits the character and the story, and b) is actually inline with how you’re treating those topics with the non-disabled characters.

Personally, I don’t really feel like I’m the best person to advise on where exactly that line between just showing disabled people in sexual relationships/situations and fetishisation is, though the general advice I’ve heard is to ask yourself if the focus is on the disability, or if the person just happens to be disabled. On that same note, I’m also not really comfortable explaining details of how sex works when you’re disabled. If you want to know about either of these topics, there are a plethora of disability content creators who focus specifically on those subjects.

To sum this all up though, disabled adults are, well, adults, so don’t be afraid to treat us as such. Show us in relationships where the non-disabled partner’s affection isn’t a matter of debate or insecurity, show us being intimate and having sex (if that’s something you were doing with your non-disabled characters), let us be confident in those relationships, the same as everyone else, and most importantly, remember that a disability doesn’t automatically mean someone just won’t be interested in us, or we won’t be interested in them.

[joannerowling]

I mean, people are absolutely entitled to argue that Harry Potter is ethically inconsistent and unintentionally revealing of classist biases even while acknowledging that JKR is an excellent writer and that children’s books do not need to lead readers by the hand to the correct opinion. There was a lot of very reasonable literary criticism to this effect right after Hallows was released by perfectly rational critics, well before ‘JKR bad’ took root in mainstream opinion on account of her political activism. I sat in a Catholic studies class in 2008 debating this, it isn’t new.

I never said it was new. I do think it's stupid though, not because i disagree with the argument (reasonably put or not), but because i disagree with the premise.

"Ethical consistency" is a completely nonsensical measure of quality for literature in general. The purpose of JKR's literature specifically is, amongst other things, to be a mirror of her time, and that involves depicting people who feel real. Real people are not consistently ethical.

"Unintentionally revealing of classist biases": Again, it's not that i doubt one could make an argument out of that premise and make it convincing. But it bores me to tears just to think of it. The judgement of it all - hidden being this falsely distant term, "unintentionally". It's so anachronistic. a) As if anyone who is her contemporary could be unaffected by the same biases and therefore credible in this criticism. b) She's right there, alive! You know her intentions, and if you don't, you can ask her them. That's not literary analysis, that's politics. If we're talking about JKR's politics, why not be honest and have a look at her political actions, then analyse how her books reflect them, not the other way around? That's more logical and constructive that this weird, "let's try to reverse engineer JKR's subconscious feelings about XYZ" obsession. I mean, why would it matter anyways? I have subconscious feelings of anger at my parents like probably 99% of people on earth. Who gives a shit. People are what they do.

Also, I actually don't care if JKR shows some classist biases (whatever that means) in her books. Good literature is always representative of its time, flaws included. Victor Hugo was a sexist fool, that doesn't make Notre Dame not great.

[tesia-a-138]

On ne choisit pas par hasard. Nous rencontrons des gens qui existaient déjà dans notre subconscient.

Freud

[les-larmes-d-eros]

- Woman Walking In A Forest, Childhood Memory #1

- Bound 03

Série Metamorphosis, par Elizabeth Heyert

Heyert emmène le spectateur dans un voyage fascinant dans les mondes transcendants de ses sujets qui, après avoir été hypnotisés dans son studio par un hypnothérapeute qualifié, sont ensuite photographiés nus, mettant en scène des souvenirs d’enfance ou se transformant émotionnellement en animaux, oiseaux ou autres créatures uniques de leur fantasmes subconscients.

Dans sa conversation avec la journaliste et historienne Lesley M. M. Blume, Heyert explique pourquoi il était important de photographier ses sujets sans vêtements. «J’avais l’impression que c’était déjà assez difficile de voir quelqu’un dans un état de transe sans se laisser distraire par les vêtements… Je voulais que ce soit primal, et jusqu’aux os. C’était beaucoup demander à quelqu’un, mais j’avais un nombre surprenant de sujets volontaires. Elle a choisi d’imprimer les photos utilisant la techniques du cyanotype, estimant que les bleus riches et profonds créeraient un environnement non spécifique mais évocateur.

Puis, en contrepoint époustouflant et extrême, Heyert a également photographié des personnes qui atteignent la transcendance en se laissant momifier et immobilisés. Contrairement aux sujets sous hypnose, qui sont nus dans tous les sens du terme, les corps enveloppés sont intentionnellement cachés afin que la personne à l’intérieur reste un mystère, ses profondes expériences intérieures étant laissées à l’imagination du spectateur. De spectaculaires photographies analogiques en noir et blanc, rendues dans le livre en trichrome, ainsi que des couleurs de photogravures rarement vues, invitent notre compréhension de l’humanité.

[dingochef]

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x You (OFC)

Warnings: Swearing, Smut (MDNI 18+ Only), Stalking, P in V, oral (female and male receiving), Semi-public sex, light spanking,

Summary: Jake takes you on a horse ride where you get to him in his natural element, he learns more about your life before him, and you take a few different rides.

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Chapter 8

Word Count: 2.3 k

Chapter 9: Ride 'em

"My god, Jake, this is beautiful," you gush as you crest the hill on the back of Reba, a coppery Chestnut mare. Jake pulls up alongside you on Dolly, a blonde palomino, and his horse of many years.

"Isn't it?" he practically beams as you take in the stunning landscape. Verdant green rolling hills, a pond off in the distance, and a charmingly crooked stream are laid out before you along with too many cows to count.

Jake clicks at Dolly and she starts walking again and Reba follows.

"This is home, I didn't realize how much I missed it till I was in flight school in Florida," Jake says.

"Where in Florida?" you ask.

"Pensacola."

"Ahh, so the exact opposite side of the state from where I lived, Cocoa Beach by Cape Canaveral." You continue,

"It's Florida, which has its moments, at least our apartment was a block from the beach so it was easy to get to the water."

Jake looks over at you, slightly apprehensive,

"That's where you lived with Liam, right?"

It's not something you've talked about a lot with Jake, or really anyone in your life. You remind yourself that it's okay to open up, and that this is Jake, your amazing, caring, and loving Jake.

"Yeah, we had a little two bedroom place with a nice balcony that you could see the ocean from."

"Sounds nice, so how long were you and Liam together?"

The rustling of the long grass and steady muted clip clops of the horses provides a soothing soundtrack to your conversation.

"About 3 years, probably should have been less," you pause, looking off into the distance away from Jake.

"I definitely ignored some red flags."

"Like what?"

"Like he felt insecure he 'only' had a master's degree. He'd bring it up during arguments, like really stupid stuff, he'd say, "Excuse me, Ms. PhD, you know everything about everything."

Jake chuckles,

"That's the nerdiest insecurity I've ever heard of. I know you're loads smarter than I am, and I am okay with that."

You snort,

"In one thing, having an engineering degree just proves you're stubborn and good with math."

He laughs and continues with a question,

"What else did you ignore about Liam?"

Jake is in an inquisitive mood, or more likely trying to learn more about this part of your life that doesn't see the light of day often. He's not the type to pry, which you appreciate. You've talked about working for SpaceX, but not really your relationship with Liam.

"He was always jealous of other guys. The fact is being a female engineer most of your friends end up being dudes. I had a friend from Notre Dame visiting the area so I went and had a drink with him. Liam couldn't join us for some reason and when I got home he was all pissy about it. Letting comments drop about moving on to other guys, that kind of bullshit."

You keep going,

"Probably the one I was in denial most was just how I felt about the relationship. I always got the image in my head of me leaning way out with my hand outstretched reaching for him and him pulling me down. I did everything to make him happy, convincing myself that I could be happy if he was happy. I learned what utter bullshit that was, luckily before we got married."

"So what image comes to mind when you think of our relationship?" he asks, sounding more curious than unsure.

The first image that comes to mind is of Jake boosting you up to climb over a wall and you leaning down to help pull him up. You're reassured by how quickly your subconscious supplied this comforting image.

"You know how you boost someone up to climb over a wall?"

He nods.

"I see you boosting me up to climb over the wall and then me reaching down to help you up."

He's quiet for a long time and finally says, his voice a little soft,

"So a team?"

You really want to reach over and take his hand, but you're not secure in your minutes old riding skills at this point.

"Yeah, a team of equals. People who make each other better together, not by tearing down one person."

He doesn't reply but maneuvers Dolly parallel Reba and leans out to kiss you, a quick sweeping caress of your jawline. He rights himself after a few seconds and clears his throat,

"Yeah, the wine. We should get going."

The rest of the ride over to the Manton's is filled with companionable silence and the sounds of the landscape and horses.

You arrive at a dirt road and Jake opens a gate to let you and the horses through.

"The Manton's is just this way," Jake says as he points down the road. It takes about 10 minutes of riding to reach another gorgeous ranch house. To the side there is an older style barn that has a large sign with "Manton's Winery" in gold letters on the side. Jake directs you to the literal hitching post and water trough at the end of striped out parking spots. He only raises an eyebrow when you go to say something, you decide to let it pass. He helps you down off Reba and leads you in the barn.

An older woman is at a wooden counter surrounded by wine bottles. She turns and looks at you and Jake, recognition sets in as she practically screeches,

"Jakey Seresin! Is that you little Jakey Seresin all grown up?

She runs around the corner and hugs Jake so hard you hear the breath get squeezed out of him.

When he recovers some air,

he answers,

"Yes, Mrs. Manton. It's me Lieutenant Jake Seresin, decorated naval aviator here live in your winery."

She lets out a slight grunt of discontent,

"See you still have the unwavering sense of confidence."

You bite your cheek to not laugh at the look on Jake's face, just as he about to reply Mrs. Manton turns towards you,

"And who's this beauty, Jakey?"

"Mrs. Manton this is my my amazingly smart and wonderful girlfriend Dr. Elsa Matthews, PhD."

You look over at Jake and roll your eyes a little at his choice of title.

"Well, it's nice to meet you Dr. Matthews," Mrs. Manton pulls you into an equally crushing hug.

"Likewise, you can call me Elsa. Doctor makes me feel like I should be curing something," you squeak out missing the air that was previously in your lungs.

"Well, come on over and you guys can get a taste of each of the wines. When I ran into your Ma in town she mentioned she was going to send you over to get some wine. She also mentioned that I might get to meet the famed girlfriend."

She pours our three different whites and lets you know what each one is. Jake and you taste each one comparing and contrasting each one.

When you're finishing the last of a delightful Pinot Grigio Mrs. Manton launches into the questions she's probably been dying to ask the moment you walked in the door,

"So, Elsa, where you from? Sharon said you two met in California. You from there?"

You swallow your wine and answer,

"Nope, I'm from Michigan originally. I've lived in San Diego for about 4 years now."

She nods, somehow approving of your place of origin.

"That's good, always thought those California girls seemed a bit high on themselves. You Michigan folk are down to earth, hardy, good at surviving winter and things like that."

You struggle to find a response, but luckily she launches into more questions topping off your wines as she goes.

Next she pours out the flight of reds from driest to sweetest and lets you have a go at them. You make a mental note to grab the Cabernet and the Pinot for dinner.

"What do you do out there?"

You finish the Merlot and answer,

"I'm an aerospace engineer with Lockheed Martin."

She nods again and looks at Jake. When you turn to him he has that lovey dovey look that you see often.

"Oh deary, I think you could be from Mars and sell sweaters for fleas and Jakey here wouldn't love you less," she points to him, "That is a man in love for sure."

You nearly snort the rest of your wine at the intense Southern display you have just witnessed.

The lovey dovey look on Jake's face fades over to mild embarrassment.

"Well, it's been nice catching up, as always, but we best be getting a few bottles and getting back home to help with dinner," he says.

You select a few bottles and pay for them. As you walk out to the horses, you realize just how much wine Mrs. Manton poured for you and that you may be the slightest bit tipsy.

Jake helps you up and onto the saddle before easily mounting his horse. The way his easy grace and strength is on display in that action reignites the ember inside you and you feel a wave of lust and want roll over you. His thighs on display in the worn jeans makes you want to jump him even more.

Jake takes the lead with Dolly and Reba obediently follows with little input from you.

A random thought pops through your mind and out your mouth before you really consider it,

"Can you get a DUI on a horse?"

Jake turns and laughs as he realizes the wine must have hit you a little harder than it did him,

"Are you drunk, El?"

You giggle,

"Not drunk, just tipsy. Mrs. Manton kept filling my glass. It would have been rude not to keep drinking, Jakey."

He snorts,

"That is a luxury you cannot afford, pipsqueak. As much as you don't like to think it, you are a lightweight."

"Am not," you pout. Jake has turned Dolly around and is next to you and Reba holding out his arms.

"Come here, you can ride with me and Reba will follow. I don't want you to fall," he says, pulling over to sit in front of him. The care and concern shows on his face and you feel a little guilty.

"Sorry," you squeak as Jake grabs the reins and wraps his arms around you.

"Don't be, I'm sure Mrs. Manton was just trying to get at your deepest darkest secrets for her personal amusement. It's really a hobby of hers."

"She's good at it, I bet. Thanks for getting us out of there before we confessed to murder or something."

You let yourself sink into Jake's chest a little more, enjoying the closeness and the feeling of his chin hooked over your shoulder.

Soon you're stopping at the little pond you saw on the trip out. Jake helps you slide down and makes sure you're planted firmly in the ground before he lets you go. He follows and pulls a blanket out of the saddlebags on Dolly. He quickly ties up the horses to a tree nearby and grasps your hand to walk down to the water. There is a giant willow tree half overhanging the water; Jake parts the boughs and leads you into the protected space created by the massive tree limbs.

He rolls out the blanket and sits down motioning for you to sit next to him. You do, kicking off your shoes in an effort to get comfy.

"Thought you could use a little time to sober up, or take a nap," he pulls your small hands in his much larger ones,

"And I wanted to show you this place. It's where I would go as a kid just to think about things, you know trying to figure out life."

"I bet you brought girls out here to make out," you tease.

He laughs,

"You're the first person I've ever brought out here, El. Plus I never had that much game, just one steady girlfriend in high school who didn't like the outdoors that much."

You pull one of your hands free to cup Jake's cheek, your thumb rubbing on his cheekbone lightly,

"Thank you for bringing me here. It's beautiful here, and I'm honored you're sharing this with me."

He pulls you into his lap for a kiss, your head bumping against his hat, knocking it a little askew. You move around from the sideways position you were in to sit astride Jake's divine thighs. Your hands sliding up to the back of his neck and under his shirt.

The kiss deepens as Jake's tongue probes your mouth and his hands find their way to your ass.

He squeezes just shy of too hard, earning a deep moan from you. When you finally break the kiss to come up for air, you take advantage of Jake's distraction and grab his hat, firmly setting it on your head.

It is comically big on your head so it pitches up, the brim almost vertical.

Jake lays back, arms bent behind his head, and smirk firmly in place,

"I do recall explaining the rule, you going to make good on that promise, darling?"

You grind your hips down against him, frustrated by the denim between you two.

"I keep my promises, cowboy," you pant out.

You slither down his legs to work open his belt buckle and belt. Next you unzip his pants and tug down his underwear enough to pull his semi hard cock out. The opportunity for you to suck his cock presents itself and you indulge leaning down to pull him into your mouth. The feeling of his length swelling to its full size in your mouth makes you let out a heady moan. Physical proof of how much you turn on Jake spurs your own arousal and you feel the wetness build between your legs. You let yourself enjoy having Jake in your mouth for a few minutes more before you pull back. He whines in protest till you stand up and shimmy down your jeans and underwear. As you pull off your shirt and bra Jake tenderly caresses your legs watching you with heavy desire in his eyes. Clothing removed, except for the cowboy hat you kneel down again over Jake's legs.

Jake slides his hands along your thighs as you rub your wet folds along his length.

"Fuck, El. You're soaked, need to be in you," he grunts, his hands grasping hard at your hips. You angle your pelvis in just the right angle and he slides in easily.

You savor the initial stretch as you sink down on him all the way to the hilt. The feeling of being truly full makes you let out a noise between a whimper and moan.

"Oh God, Jake, feels so good every time. My pussy was made for you," you pant out as you start a slow rhythm with your hips up and down, enjoying the slide almost out and all the way back deep in you on every beat.

Jake's hands wander up higher and engulf your breasts, thumbs tracing the nipples, the rough calluses dragging across the delicate skin.

"El, you look so fucking good up there riding my dick in my hat," Jake rasps, his hips coming up to meet yours on each thrust. The additional pressure is hitting spots deep inside you ratcheting up the coil deep in your belly.

"Fuck, Jake, I'm so close," you plead, mind starting to scramble with how good you feel with Jake inside you at this spot under the willow tree, how intimate the moment is even if you're outside.

Jake responds to your begging, licking his thumb and applying pressure to your clit in the form of tight circles. He speeds up his pace of fucking up into and pants,

"Gonna come for me, baby? Gonna show me how much you like my cock by treating it real nice and coming on it? Let me feel how tight you can get."

The dirty talk has pushed you off the cliff with great force and you come hard around Jake. Nearly collapsing on his chest as you clench around his cock with each wave of pleasure. The intensity doesn't let up and neither does Jake's thumb.

"Think I can get another one out of you, El? Can you be a good girl and come again?" he rasps out. The hand not on your clit slaps hard at your ass. The pain ricocheting through you in a delicious way.

"More, Jake, please. So, so close," you whine out, you are still riding the high of your first orgasm as the second one barrels down on you.

"Wait for me, almost there, El," he pants out, hips pistoning up into you, his movements with his hips lift your knees off the ground pushing him deeper inside than ever before. Another slap rings out in the air, and the wave of pain pleasure hits you and you fall apart again, chest heaving and your ears ringing with the intensity.

All you can say is mostly gibberish of "feels good," and swearing, your brain having fucked off to another dimension.

Jake's hips go up and down a few more times until a strangled grunt escapes his throat and he comes, his whole body curling on itself. He lazily thrusts up into you a few more times stretching out his bliss. Finally he collapses, body lax, his face relaxed and eyes closed.

You lean down and rest your head on his chest, you stay joined for a few minutes as you catch your breath.

A deep laugh rumbles from his chest, he lifts his head up to meet your eyes, they're filled with mischief and affection,

"Look at you, El. Riding all sorts of things today, like a proper cowgirl."

A giggle escapes from your mouth and you scoot up his torso to give him a kiss.

Jake and you piece yourselves back together and exit the little bubble under the willow tree.

As you walk over to where the horses are tied up, Jake says,

"Probably need to get back to help with all the Thanksgiving prep."

You nod and Jake helps you get up on Reba, your tipsiness gone.

Jake leads the way back and you follow him, just like you'd follow him anywhere.

Chapter 10

@kmc1989

@starswholistenanddreamsanswered

@mayhemmanaged

@callmemana

@dempy

@hangmanscoming

@lanie-k

@callsign-viper

@senjoritanana

@djs8891

@atarmychick007

@memoriesat30

@midnightmagpiemama

[carewyncromwell]

"How can I protect you, boy, unless you always stay in here...away in here...?"

x~x~x~x

HAPPY HALLOWEEN, ALL! To complete my Cromwell Clan entries to my "Halloween animated character costume" prompt for the year, here is the main villain of Carewyn's storyline -- her cruel and cold grandfather, Charles Cromwell -- as my personal choice for the most evil Disney villain ever created: Judge Claude Frollo from Disney's The Hunchback of Notre Dame!

The Hunchback of Notre Dame was and remains one of my favorite animated movies of all time, even despite its flaws. It really cemented a love and appreciation for classical and church music in me that had already existed in my mother since she was a kid, and our shared love of its soundtrack therefore also became something we've bonded over. My mum and I even went to go see the stage production together during its short-lived run in La Jolla, California, back in 2014 (and got way too emotional just hearing this gorgeous music live -- seriously, Bells of Notre Dame alone nearly left us in tears). And yeah, part of my love for this movie that doesn't involve its score comes from its characters, especially protagonists Quasi and Esmeralda and the most detestable Disney villain ever conceived, Frollo. Ironically enough, upon rewatching the movie with my mother again earlier this year, I realized that this guy had probably affected my development of Charles Cromwell at least on a subconscious level, so when coming up with a Halloween costume for this monster in human skin, it truly was a no-brainer. Charles couldn't possibly be dressed as anyone other than Judge Frollo. And as much as old men will probably always be hard for me to draw, I don't think he turned out as badly as I'd expected. XD

Have a lovely spooky day, everyone!! Much love!! xoxo 🎃

[paulysson1]

Ma lumière

Elle n'était pas au rendez-vous,

Tenez vous bien, car commence la danse chancelante d'un homme qui est sans orgueil.

"Lullaby for insomniacs", il n'y a que le trac qui enivre l'endormissement qui m'attend,

Comme une fourmis prête à hiberner en été je suis perdu et sur le mauvais sentier, j'ai pourtant tellement chanter aux côtés des cigales...

Ma lumière n'était pas si éblouissante,

C'est ce que me chante mon subconscient, et, sans pansement, je me remémore toutes les erreurs passées,

Tel un dément, habitué, sans plaisir, à souffrir.

Et vous, et toi,

petits anges, petits démons, par intermittence,

Vous soulevez mon cœur et le balancer contre le miroir de mes multiples personnalités.

Tantôt mauvais, tantôt doux, tantôt simplet, tantôt fou.

Je "par donne" sand oublier pour autant, je cicatrise mes tremblements de votre manque à mon cœur demandeur, comme-ci une partie de votre âme avait glissé dans mes veines,

C'est assez espiègle,

De ce dire que notre destin est de partir toujours plus loin sur le chemin et la croisade qu'est la vie.

"Deer garden" qu'est le monde que je me suis créé,

Si ma langue fourche, c'est que tu mas attisé, attiré, volé,

Mon jardin n'est pas bien vaste, mon cercle de cultivation de l'Esprit encore moins,

Mais, à tes côtés, je sens la faible flamme des canailles qui vont vibrer les golems dans leurs plus belles victuailles,

Qu'est-ce qui fasse que je reste parmis les reste des peuples anciens ?

Et bien, je répondrais

-> tu es la clé,

La serrure a beau être compliqué, tu es en mesure de t'en libérer

P.amis

[tilmineistheonlyfaceyousee]

Tout au milieu des étoiles (jour 26)

Regardez vous, c'est incroyable. Votre présence illumine et embellit les lieux. Vous rayonnez et aveuglez mes yeux. Je les aime et les envie tellement. Je suis si heureuse de les avoir. Si ce n'était pas le cas, je ne vous verrai pas. Je ne vous aurai jamais connues. Depuis que je vous ai vues pour la première fois, mon coeur bat un peu plus fort, battant toujours et encore. Il n'a jamais cessé de battre car il sait que vous êtes là, quelque part. Que même si vous êtes loin et que je ne peux vous atteindre, vous existez. Eclats de miroirs brisés ou miroirs encore intacts, qu'on tente de recoller les morceaux ou que l'on soit toujours accrochés au mur, nous demeurons malgré tout ce que la vie peut mettre sur notre passage. Je pense et j'espère que moi aussi, j'ai pu embellir un peu votre vie, en croisant votre chemin. Tant de mondes rentrés en collision, un amour si imposant et fort s'est formé en nous et à l'horizon. C'est là-bas que vous êtes et que je me trouve. Si proches et si éloignés à la fois. J'aimerai que les rêves romancés et pleins d'espoir prennent le pas sur mes cauchemars. Je souhaite plus que tout vous rencontrer, vous parler et vous atteindre dans mon palais mental, dans mon subconscient, à travers mes songes. Qui sait si je vous toucherai du bout des doigts un beau jour. Je n'en doute pas, même si j'ignore comment. Un jour je serai là, tout au milieu des étoiles et au firmament, entourée de ces mêmes étoiles qui ont éclairées mes nuits rien et ont fait chavirer mes jours pluvieux. Et au fond, même si j'aime éperdument l'obscurité et la pluie, je les préfère encore plus lorsque je suis en votre si douce compagnie.

[federthenotsogreat]

Listening to "The Bells of Notre Dame" and...

Auuugh I wanna do a story board for Deamy and Frosty for the scene where the Archdeacon confronts Frollo about what he's done 😩🙏

Idk imagine (you actually have to imagine it cause it's not canon) Frosty subconsciously believing Deamy ever so slightly that she genuinely just killed Cackletta?? (Frosty has played SSS, yes)

Not fully believing her, just getting an uncanny feeling maybe??

AGH 😭

Multi-eye angst 😳

[wakeup-program-fr]

Welcome to the Wake up Program

Vous vous sentez perdu ? Vide ? Observé ? Seul(e) ? Bizarre ? Nous sommes là pour vous !

Notre équipe travaille sur l'étude de la capacité à programmer notre subconscient pour nous amener dans une nouvelle réalité. Certaines personnes restent bloquées dans cette nouvelle réalité, ce qui est extrêmement mauvais pour leur santé physique et morale, et c'est pour cela que nous sommes là, pour vous aider à retrouver vos esprits. Certains décrivent cela comme un "rêve vivant", d'autres comme un "horrible cauchemar vivant", et c'est ce dernier qui nous intéresse. Racontez-nous votre rêve et nous vous aiderons à vous réveiller.

On peut être dans une autre réalité, sans le vouloir. Nous avons déduit que ces passages dans une autre réalité ne sont que des crises de déréalisation, mais nos sujets sont certains qu'il s'agit de quelque chose de beaucoup plus effrayant.

Symptômes potentiels :

Sensation de vide

Sensation de vertige

Picotements dans tout le corps, en particulier dans les mains

Maux de tête

nausées

Hallucinations visuelles/auditives/cénesthésiques

Vision floue

Points noirs dans le champ de vision

Sentiment de ne pas être réel

Envoyez-nous un message sur "Posez-moi une question" (anonyme ou non) pour nous raconter votre rêve. Apportez-nous le plus de détails possible sur votre rêve et quelques informations sur votre état psychique et physique (carences, troubles alimentaires, traumatismes, troubles psychiques, etc.) afin que nous puissions vous aider au mieux.

C'est juste un rêve, réveillez-vous. ꒰ঌ👁໒꒱

suivez le #wake up program pour aider les gens à se réveiller

Aucune information confidentielle (vos rêves, votre prénom, vos pronoms, votre âge, etc.) ne sera partagée avec autrui. Votre vie privée restera privée 👁.

[lukas-dark-miracles]

Lukas' Inspiration|| His big three "Songs"

This is just a little take on the big three astrological signs (Sun, Moon, and Rising Signs) as if they were Songs. Below the Cut is why each song was picked. TW: Implied Drug Use / Drug Abuse, Wrspice

Sun Song: Heaven - The Neighborhood Tw implied Drug Use/ Abuse

"The sun is your identity. It is the essence that you shine out into the world. It represents the vital force that drives you to seek the highest expression of your true self. Your sun sign is how you answer the question “I am” and how you experience life and express your individuality(x) " Lukas identity is really tied up with being a worshiper, both literally in being religious, and figuratively as needing someone or something to believe in. He is, in many ways, defined in who he is to other people and doesn't have a strong sense of what he believes in without that reflection. He has to place that trust elsewhere, and when he can't he dissolves. Lyrics:

When I feel like I'm strangled You treat me like an angel Show me all different angles And I never, ever felt that way, no When you leave, I don't wanna try And if you stick with me, I'll be fine 'Cause your love's rubbing off on me Tell me, how'd you get so heavenly? There's something 'bout you, baby There's nothing like the way ya get me high You've got a heart from heaven, but you're burning like hell

Moon Song: Devils in the Backseat - Lostboycrow Tw: wrspice

"The moon is the soul behind your identity. It is the subconscious side of yourself that you typically keep hidden and is the driving force behind your emotional reactions. Your moon sign helps you feel pleasure and pain, joy and sorrow, and gives insight into how you nurture and restore yourself. (x)" Lukas desperately wants to be wanted and loved, meaning he will do whatever he can to get that. He'll distort himself if it means that whoever around him will see him as an important figure in his life. It's something he's not proud of, and it's something he tries so desperately hide usually under the guise that he is already important. It inherently keeps distance between him and others because he doesn't trust others, even when he wants their attention. Hence him being superficial a lot of times. Lyrics: I want to feel alive Devil's in the backseat You were up front looking at me with those hazel eyes Riding with my hand on your lap Sing baby don't you ask me Cause I can only feed you lies Devil's got a hold and we're laughing You don't even know me but you're calling me daddy I'm running on red through the canyon Singing I'm a bad man, bad man

Rising Song: Notre Dame - Paris Paloma

"Rising sign(also known as your Ascendant) is your social personality. It is how you dawn on people as it relates to the zodiac sign that was on the Eastern horizon when you were born. Your rising sign represents your physical body and outward style (x)" Lukas shows a lot his caring and empathetic nature to people. It's part of the reason people trust him, is that he gives and doesn't seem to take, even if he actually does. He wants to be important to people, even if he ultimately knows he is now othered. It's why people might feel safe, if not off put by the man that seems to share very little of himself but expects to know a lot of them. Lyrics:

I'm not immune to the sincerity below me, makes me feel, it makes me holy But the tears I understand that I do not below No I do not belong Watching the figures, all the saints, but mostly sinners come and go And some are desperate, but the others have the sense that they do belong And I do not belong Some only talk towards the heavens when the end is feeling desperate Have the overwhelming feeling That there's nobody who's looking down At least I'm looking down

[ponds-of-ink]

Notre Dame AU Chapter 5: “An Evening in The Castle”

Hey, here’s a quick head’s up before we start: Expect two more chapters tonight and Thursday morning.. Unless Ruin news hits me in the head at break-neck speed. Then there’ll be a bit of radio silence until further notice.

..Even if I do end up posting on time, there’ll still be radio silence because Ruin teaser.

Anyway, let’s see how Gregory’s doing before I start making less sense...

A couple of hours passed. The bells rang with a more melancholic air as Gregory sat there in a distant section of the hall. A few visitors came and went, but none were allowed to interact with the boy in the corner. An expected result of his plea for safety.

So there Gregory stayed. Alone. Contemplating the boy dubbed “46”.

...For a couple more minutes, at least. With only one clear audio recording and not much speculation to glean from, the topic was getting dull by now. “If only I could talk to someone,” he thought as his eyes lazily drifted up to the tinted windows. “Then maybe I wouldn’t be so bored.”

He rose to his feet and observed his surroundings. While these windows were not as grand as the church’s, their towering height and naturally sunny glow left an impression on him. Same went for the golden-flamed candles strewn about the walls. Both of these things provided a sense of warmth in this otherwise bleak and cold chamber. “At least there’s something here to keep me busy, I guess,” he thought as he walked towards an empty booth littered with themed attraction brochures and era-fitting props. “I’ve been to every other place in this mall, but I guess a little reading wouldn’t hurt.”

As he skimmed through the list of locales, one of them seemed to weasel its way out of its holder. His eyebrows raised as he watched it break free and float on its own. He backed up slowly, then stopped. “H-Hello?” he asked the unseen pamphlet carrier, weakly waving. “You, uh, want to read something too?”

The brochure froze in mid-air. It slowly lowered itself back onto the table. Then, after a few seconds of tense stillness, a small door beside the counter quickly opened up. “Hey, wait!” Gregory called out, following after with both papers in hand. “You don’t have to ditch your stuff! Come back!”

Agonia raced up the spiral stairs. “Should not have done that,” repeated over and over in his head until he reached the bell tower. He gripped one of the pillars in a panic, swinging out of a normal person’s view. “What do I do now?” he asked himself in his mind, burying his head in his hands. “It was not supposed to go like this!”

“So do most of your plans, but that’s a given,” quipped a mature voice.

Agonia lowered his hands. “Henry, please,” he snipped towards a man that seemed to be around his age. “I need help. Do I talk to him or run?”

“Well, judging from how fast that kid is, I’d say get ready to start talking,” Henry noted, pushing up his thick-rimmed glasses as he looked over his listener’s shoulder. “Hope you how to use contractions in a sentence.”

Agonia shot back an exasperated look. “But how?” he asked, subconsciously clutching his marred throat. “My voice is–“

“You’ll do fine,” Henry insisted, walking towards the edge of the railing. “Just do that miming thing you’ve been doing with Glitchtrap. Or that funny little letter system you had once.”

Agonia slumped. “I suppose I could,” he murmured as he approached the door. “However: if this goes south, this is on you.”

“Have fun,” Henry smiled jestingly, giving one parting wave. “I’ll be out here enjoying the view if you need me.”

Agonia shook his head as he entered back inside the castle. He listened as he traveled along the maze. “Where is he?” he wondered as he surveyed the empty landscape.

A loud “Boo!” from behind answered that question very quickly.

Gregory laughed as the bell-ringer “yelped” and whirled around. “I got you good, didn’t I?” he grinned slyly.

The other rolled his uneven eyes and bobbed his head to one side. Yes, yes, he did.

The scarer’s smile weakened. “So, um, here’s your thing back,” he said sheepishly, handing out the brochure. “Sorry if I made you think I was going to rat you out to that dumb rabbit guy.”

Agonia placed his hand on top of Gregory’s, then patted it gently. “Does.. that mean it’s all good?” Gregory asked slowly, repeating the gesture with his own hand.

The elder’s face lit up. He nodded rapidly with a wide smile.

“Huh!” Gregory exclaimed while he removed his hands from the bell ringer’s frail grasp. “I did not expect to be this good at ‘Guess What The Ghost’s Trying to Say’! ...N-No offense, of course. I get that your voice must be pretty messed up with.. what you’ve got.”

Agonia nodded despondently, putting a hand to his throat yet again.

“But hey!” Gregory spoke up, walking over to the sad ghost’s side. “You can ‘talk’ with these while you show me around!” He then held up his sliver of paper with a proud smile. “They should have all the words you need,” he continued as he gave both pamphlets to the ghost. “Just let me know when you’re ready.”

Agonia stared down at the papers in his hand. He eyed both titles, then flipped through one of the two. After a few moments of skimming, he motioned for Gregory to start walking.

Gregory quickly started, strolling alongside his newfound tour guide. His head turned this way and that, only stopping when something caught his eyes– Like a random knight in armor or a huge hole-like imprint in the floor. “This must be part of the Princess’ Challenge,” he mused as he looked back at his guide. “I don’t think I’ve ever been up here before, so this is a first for me.”

Agonia lowered his paper for the boy to see. “Really?” he ‘asked’, pointing to the exact word wedged in a lengthy paragraph.

“Yeah,” Gregory admitted casually, shrugging his shoulders. “Didn’t really think it was all that neat. I don’t mind escape rooms, but the description in the ads did not do this place justice. Made it sound like it was for really little kids.”

Agonia nodded with a mutually irked expression. Suddenly, he stopped in front of a tile puzzle guarded by four LED torches. “Wait here a moment,” he ‘instructed’, his finger darting to the words. Once he knew he got his point across, he hobbled over to the tiles. It took a bit of effort, but he managed to move the squares into their correct places. The door thunked as he returned to the dumbfounded boy. “To be fair, these are easy when you know the trick,” the guide ‘explained’, gesturing to the solved puzzle as they passed by.

Gregory glanced at the solved puzzle. He bobbed his head as his eyes skimmed the pattern. Then, realizing that his acquaintance had gone into the next room, he hurried after.

Agonia grinned as the boy rejoined his side. “Did you figure it out?” he ‘asked’ with a wink.

“Maybe,” Gregory confessed with a hint of embarrassment. “Something about some of triangles lining up with the edges of that square.”

“Pretty close,” ‘replied’ the bell-ringer. “But I can’t spoil it for you. It would ruin all the fun.”

Gregory gave a look of acknowledgment, then continued his tour. His observing of this room was very quick, save his curiosity about the two golden doors with the carved arch above. However, unlike the puzzle, neither said anything about them.

Instead, both entered the next room with little trouble. “This is where I was earlier,” Gregory explained, motioning to the ‘bridge’ on the floor. “Somebody already solved this one, so I didn’t have to do anything.”

Agonia faintly hummed in thought, slowly moving ahead of the boy and walking onto the bridge. He stomped his foot on it, then hummed again. “I’m surprised that it hasn’t reset by now,” he ‘mused’, staring at the torches nearby. “They usually do that after someone completes the challenge.”

“Maybe they’ll be reset tonight,” Gregory shrugged as he left the bridge and headed for the door.

“Maybe,” ‘repeated’ Agonia, joining the boy’s side. “In the meantime, this is it. The last section.”

“Aw, already?” Gregory pouted, crossing his arms as his guide propped open the door. “We were just starting to know each other!”

“We can still talk outside,” the bell-ringer grinned as they entered into the porch. “Besides, you need all the fresh air you can get.”

“‘Says’ the guy who doesn’t need fresh air,” Gregory retorted, half-smiling. Both went quiet as they neared the balcony’s railing. The boy took in the sights with an amazed, but wistful expression. The ghost, meanwhile, looked at the world down below with a thoughtful gaze. This silence continued for several minutes, as if both had unintentionally forgotten that the other was still there. Not really surprising since the dawning sunset made everything below look more inviting and pleasant– Empty though the streets currently were.

Gregory glanced over at the clock tower. “Looks like it’s about time for you to ring in the hour again,” he said, breaking the silence at last. “At least you won’t get in trouble for being late, huh?”

Agonia chuckled hoarsely. “Yes, no worries there,” he ‘answered’, nodding to the boy as he limped to the adjacent railing. Without another word, he jumped onto the railing and cautiously clambered back into the bell tower itself.

Gregory watched in wonder as the bell-ringer prepared for his duty. The lantern flickered as Agonia put aside the papers and lifted the rope into his hands. He watched the clock, then the boy. “Plug your ears,” he said aloud, though it was so frail and broken that you’d be forgiven for saying otherwise.

Though the voice took him off-guard, Gregory wasted no time in following that order. He blocked his ears with his hands. His body fought the urge to crouch as Agonia pulled the rope. Thundering clangs followed suit. Their sheer force almost knocked the poor boy off his feet. Seven chimes in total, but they sounded like twelve or more thanks to the kickback of the bell’s clapper. They sounded beautiful, sure, but now Gregory was starting to learn why many people preferred admiring the bells from the ground level.

As soon as the bells finished, Agonia let go of the rope and stumbled into a bow. “I’d clap, but I think those bells knocked all the energy out of me,” Gregory laughed weakly, prying off his hands from his head. “That’s gotta do something to your hearing, right?”

Realizing that they were back to having a proper conversation, Agonia hurriedly scooped up the papers. “Not if you’re a ghost,” he ‘responded’ with a slick grin. “The only thing this bell usually does to me is make me tired.”

”Huh,” Gregory responded simply, gripping onto the railing for support. Before he could form any more questions, he felt himself getting hauled up by the shoulders. He yelped in shock, but the sight of Agonia’s calm face eased him a bit. His body floated as he slowly lowered onto this new floor. “Guess I got you too, didn’t I?” the ringer ‘asked’ slyly, winking for a second time.

“Yeah, you did,” Gregory sniggered as he laid himself down on the stone floor. “Good job repaying the favor, I guess.”

The words “repaying the favor” caused Agonia to look deep in thought for a moment, but he shrugged any ideas off. “I really just did that because you looked so disoriented,” he ‘clarified’, now sitting down next to the boy. “Didn’t want you to faint next to such an unstable section of the railing. You could’ve fallen.”

“Well, thanks for looking out for me..” Gregory murmured sleepily, trying to stop himself yawning. “I had no idea.”

Agonia simply patted the boy on the hand. “How about I teach you some Latin while you try to doze off?” he ‘suggested’ before opening the other brochure.

“That’d be great, but not right now,” Gregory yawned. “I think I’ll stick with.. I dunno.. Maybe a lullaby?”

“But my voice isn’t the greatest. I thought my little warning would’ve taught you that.”

“I said ‘maybe’,” Gregory snickered softly. “Lullabies don’t.. need.. that much.. to..”

Agonia watched as the boy finally drifted off to sleep. He contemplated afterwards, peering up at the pillars and roof just above him. Then, as he looked back at the peacefully-resting child, he sighed deeply. Feeling the need to honor this request, he sung as softly as he could. A simple lullaby, but a lullaby nonetheless.

Gregory heard traces of the raspy-yet-timid crooning, but all went dark before the song finished. He found himself in a dreamless void. Unable to feel the stone floor. Or hear the hum of that ever-invisible air conditioner. An eerily comfortable solitude that flew by.

Slow, metallic footsteps broke through that void.

“Freddy?” he asked groggily, beginning to stir back into reality.

“No,” the same ragged voice answered as a hand lightly touched the boy’s shoulder. “Not Freddy.”

Gregory opened his eyes. The world had now gone from a warm golden light to a cool bluish nighttime. He had also been moved from practically underneath the bell to a doorway right outside the open chamber. The bell-ringer sat beside him, his features showcasing a mix of joy and tiredness. “Look,” the man said slowly, pointing to a corner of the door.

Mildly confused, Gregory got up and looked around that corner. To his surprise, a mishmash of metal and gunk loomed mere inches above him. “What.. is that thing?” he asked uneasily.

“Your way out,” Agonia grinned, patting the robot on the back.

“My way out?” Gregory repeated, raising an eyebrow. “I mean, going back outside this place would be great. But isn’t that.. I dunno.. breaking Sanctuary?”

“I will take the blame for that,” ‘assured’ the ghost, finally remembering to use the pamphlets. “You need to eat, and there’s no food up here– Among other things.”

“I guess that sounds like a good reason,” Gregory shrugged. He cautiously approached the strange contraption. “So, uh, what do I do with it?” he asked, craning his neck to get a better look at its face.

“Climb onto its back.”

Using the railing like a step ladder, the boy clambered onto the machine’s shoulders. “Okay, now what?” he questioned again.

Agonia placed his hand on the thing’s head. He shut his eyes. Purple sparks flashed from its rabbit-like ears as he vanished into thin air. “Hold on tight,” it answered mechanically, looking back to the boy with its violet pupils.

Gregory wrapped his arms around its neck for dear life. The robot climbed up the nearest pillar like an acrobat ascending a large ladder. It steadied itself once it was on the roof. Its head swiveled this way and that as it crawled near the edge of the roof. Then, once its analysis proved satisfactory, it swung itself down onto a ridged side of the building. It looked back at the still-clutching Gregory, nodded to itself, then proceeded to climb down.

“I don’t mean to break your concentration or anything,” Gregory piped up quietly, “but I gotta ask: Have you done this before?”

The machine stopped, carefully shook its head, then kept descending– even as Gregory quietly griped “well, that’s comforting” directly into its ears. It continued its descent until the ground was merely a few yards away. “Going to jump,” it explained calmly. “Stay close.”

Without any other warning, the robot leapt off the building’s facade like a squirrel. It twisted its body mid-air, ensuring that it cushioned the impact of its land from the alarmed boy. Its body thumped onto the astroturf with a metallic rattle. “You are free now,” it said warmly, getting up onto its feet gingerly. “Go.”

Gregory got off the rabbit-like being’s back. “Thanks,” he replied, shaking it’s hand. “Maybe after I get everything cleared up, we can meet up back here. Hopefully with less chaos for you to deal with.”

Agonia sniggered, his voice filtering through the robot’s box. “Maybe,” he answered as he began his ascent back up the wall. “We shall see.” He paused to give one last parting wave, then kept climbing.

As Gregory hurried off into a nearby alley, the bell-ringer-turned-bunny reached the clock tower. He leapt off the railing and landed on the stone floor. His body quickly sprinted to the other side of the chamber. He leaned over the edge. Relief entered his soul. It was only thirty minutes to nine.

As small lights dotted the streets below, Agonia ensured everything was returned to normal. The bare-bones robot was put back in its place. He cheerfully returned to his duty of watching and waiting for the hour to strike. The lantern itself had its ever-glowing flame restored. Though this meant that the day filled with both misfortune and merriment was almost over, these things also meant that nothing else was going to interrupt his routine– And, more importantly, Gregory’s bizarre mission.

Of course, as he completed his task, this was a bit too much to ask with three hours left. Somehow, someway, he fumbled into a living person. A person with armor plating, no less. “So, apart from bumping into me, how are you doing?” she asked with a chuckle, brushing back a loose strand of blonde hair. “I’m looking for this boy named Gregory. I think you saw him at the festival earlier?”

Agonia double-checked the lantern. It was currently flickering, which deprived him of one concern. The other concern, however, had to be dealt with a bit more.. forcefully. At least more than the other knights that dealt with him while Gregory was being chased. He couldn’t afford to make that same mistake here.

Carefully moving around the intruder, he walked back inside the maze room. He listened as Vanessa nervously followed, but his plan was already in motion. His footsteps stopped in front of the guarding suit of armor on display. With some effort, he pried the sword off the dolled-up mannequin. He held the blade defensively as he faced the knight. “Sanctuary,” he mouthed, tilting his head towards the spiral staircase. “Out.”

Vanessa raised her hands in front of her chest. “I know this is a dumb thing to say, but you really do need to relax,” she answered, backing towards the entryway. “I’m not going to hurt you. I’m just here because of Freddy. That’s it.”

Agonia lowered his sword. His eyebrows raised. Freddy? What did that have to do with..?

He raised his sword again. He shook his head.

Vanessa drew out her own weapon in response, but still watched her step as they descended. “It’s not a bluff,” she insisted as calmly as she could. “You can see the reports for yourself later. Freddy’s worried about Gregory just as much as you are.”

Agonia swung his sword, but Vanessa countered. Both stood on their respective steps, anticipating another try. However, Vanessa had something else in mind. “If you don’t believe me, then how about this?” she prefaced as she slid her blade back into its sheath. “The only reason why Gregory called for Sanctuary in the first place was because I made him. It was the only way I could save his life.”

Agonia’s eyes widened. He glanced over at the twitching hand, then back at her weary expression. He nodded slowly, then retreated up a step. “Still an out,” he reasoned solemnly, letting his arm drop a little. “Sorry.”

Vanessa bobbed her head as she turned away. “Just tell him that Freddy says he might stop by later,” she relayed, her eyes focusing on the rest of the staircase. “Something about upper management making him do one final check before the mall shuts down for the night.”

Agonia gave a sign of affirmation as he started back up the staircase. However, Vanessa’s final words made him stop right before reaching the top step: “Hey, while you’re at it, tell him he’s pretty lucky. I know I’d be if I had someone like you around defending me like that.”

He dropped his sword and whirled around, but Vanessa was gone. Dumbfounded by the compliment, he picked up the sword and put it back in its slot. He shook his head as he processed the words. There was no chance that he was actually defending someone like some genuine knight of old... Was there?

Feeling even more worn out than before, he hobbled back into the bell tower. He leaned against the railing and thought back on his day. In a span of several hours, he became: a king of jesters, an object of pain and ridicule, a subject of interrogation several times, a tour guide, and now a supposed protector of the innocent. His body slumped as he gazed at the night sky. Perhaps, in a few hours more, all he would be was a bell-ringer again. While gaining new titles had been fun and all, the amount he gathered from this day alone was a bit too ridiculous– Even for him.

[tricycle-jaune]

j'pense y'a un truc qui fait que j'sois autant active rpgiquement parlant en ce moment.

l'actualité.

ce qui se passe dans le monde en ce moment est d'une tragédie sans précédent, je pensais pas que de mon vivant (personne je pense...) j'assisterais à un génocide comme on en lit dans les livres d'histoire, et dans la miséricorde de Dieu j'ai la chance inouïe de n'être "que" spectatrice car vivant dans un pays occidental, du coup je vois ça avec un regard extérieur toute une population qui continue à se faire massacrer, une population qui ont les mêmes convictions religieuses que moi, et moi j'suis là à prendre mon p'tit déjà devant mon ordi à témoigner d'images de catastrophes et des paroles de haine d'autres personnes qui disent clairement mot pour mot "qu'il faut tuer tous les arabes de cette terre" voilà voilà, this is our world.

rien à voir mais matthew perry is dead, et la vérité, c'est un des symboles de l'humour télévisuel qui part avec lui, même s'il restera toujours THE figure, et j'pense le personnage préféré masculin de friends de bcp d'entre nous.

du coup pour palier à toutes ces tragédies, j'me suis enfermée dans mes personnages mais là, j'en ai cinq en route ?? ça m'étais jamais arrivée, et le pire c'est que j'ai de l'inspi pour les CINQ genre, où on va, bah je pense savoir ; je pense que je vis à travers eux, clairement, et pas in real life, ce qui posera problème éventuellement parce que la vrai vie ça prend du temps mine de rien, et je pourrais pas le consacrer entièrement à faire vivre CINQ perso en substitution de la mienne. Et celleux qui font du rp SAVENT qu'en plus qu'on on créé un perso, on met TELLEMENT du sien, la vérité y'a un bout de moi dans chacun et chacune d'entre eux/elle.

bref, je m'embarque pour de nouvelles terres qui sont loin, mais LOIN de la nôtre, et je pense que c'est un moyen que mon subconscient a trouvé pour pas que je perde la boule face à notre monde, du coup je vais continuer quitte à m'en piquer les yeux à force de rester devant l'ordi, j'aurai les yeux rouges mais le mental à peu près correct donc en vrai c'est rentable mdrrr

peace et love sur vous.

[ballade-de-limpossible]

« Tu écoutes, tu regardes, mais rien ne t'intéresse. Tu es derrière un mur. Tu ne touches pas notre temps. Ton passé t'a suivie dans le conscient et le subconscient de ta mémoire. Tu ne penses qu'à t'y replonger, à le retrouver, à le revivre. Le présent pour toi, c'est lui. »

-René Barjavel, La nuit des temps