#Nothing negative this time I promise
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
.
Not me entertaining the idea of possibly opening my own little RP place in DT.
I originally tried to do something but after talking with a friend, realized my ideas probably never panned out because I tried to do way too much for a place I'd essentially be running by myself.
When in reality: I should be going simple, and doing something that I enjoy for FUN, versus for the perks of reputation that came from a "unique concept" which, tbh, now looking at it, is just a recipe for disasters because of the possibility of bad apples who don't like to follow rules.
So possibly in Dawntrail, once things calm down, depending on my spoons, I may or may not be opening a tiny bar in Ellie's house; nothing special, just a small place people can come and hang out with their friends in a calm, neutral setting.
No ERP services (though it may be 18+ only cuz I ain't babysitting anyone's kids), no gil or even in-game items traded, just focus solely on RP in a setting where folks can just chill.
TLDR:
Old itch for possibly starting my own RP place is coming back, might explore things post-dawntrail's release. It wouldn't even be weekly, more like bi-weekly for a couple hours. And hey, it'd be a good thing for Ellie to do now that she no longer has a murderous hungry voidsent rustling around in her body (and is now somewhat normal again) EDIT: I meant the FC house not my personal :dead:
#OOC#Mun Ramblings#Nothing negative this time I promise#Just me kinda musing on an idea I had after a convo with a friend#Because frankly as much as I enjoy going to them from time to time#I am so tired of the same ERP venues popping up#Literally every day I see some new ERP/nightclub venue with some nondecript DJ popping up#And while they can be fun the market is F L O O D E D#And you can't tell me otherwise#Least on balmung it is
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
it is absolutely amazing to me how even the smallest moments can make you fall in love with life again. with yourself again.
how the glances in the mirror each day get easier, even letting yourself smile at the reflection that truly is so beautiful. how the mornings donât seem to have you fighting to get up anymore, some even being full of excitement for the day ahead. how the once exhausting practices of healing and letting yourself experience who you really are no longer weigh so heavy on your heart.
you deserve to have more of these days. more of these little and big moments with yourself and those you love. you deserve to be able to bask in how far youâve come, as well as embrace just how much you are capable of.
this isnât even close to the end. you have so much more ahead of you. i know you can do this. i believe in you and love you so much.
#and with that i kiss you all goodnight <3#i am so proud of you just for continuing on even if it can feel overwhelming or even pointless#there is so much ahead of you#i promise. it just takes time and lots of patience. and for me LOTS of affirming + trial n error + facing fears etc. etc.#but there is nothing really to be afraid of. after all#itâs in you already. you just need to embrace it all. the negatives and positives.#you are so much stronger than you think. please donât be so hard on yourself#i love u so much.#đ©âĄđȘ â sirenâs song
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
oof
#actually yeah remember that time i had swine flu#i had a 104 degree fever and was terrified to go to the hospital#not because of the hospital but because i'd have to manage my parents' emotions and anxiety while i was there on top of being sick as hell#i locked myself in the bathroom refusing to let my dad take me to the ER#and only gave in when he promised he wouldn't tell my mom#and then his girlfriend told my mom. they fucking lied#and then. you guessed it. i had to manage everyone's emotions while we waited for the ER to do literally nothing#the swine flu tests were super unreliable and i got a false negative. they sent me home with some antibiotics and called it a day#then sheepishly called a week later when the second test came back positive to basically ask if i was still alive#swine flu fucked me up for a long time. but it didn't warrant an er visit#and it certainly didn't warrant my parents fucking breaking my trust like that#i know they only told my mom so they didn't have to deal with her going off after the fact#which is such bullshit. that's the kind of thing a parent is supposed to take and shield their kid from#not break their trust so you get it easy#but of course. if my dad had been one to take my aversion to my mom seriously then. then he and i wouldn't be going on 4yrs of no contact#because a looooot of things would've had to be different for that one thing to happen#god i have so much anger for my parents. so much grief#my mom's been surprisingly silent (all things considered) in the near month i've been no contact with her#and it's not like seeing the disgusting emails and voicemails from her feels good but... but they're almost better than nothing.#they're sort of love. in a way. not really... but. but it hurts to know how hard my dad fought to get through to me#and to have spent the past 4yrs with my mom rubbing in my face how she'd never be like him and Just let me go. how she'd fight.#being told that at the time didn't feel like love. didn't feel healthy. and now seeing that she didn't even fucking mean it.#she prided herself so much on being the one who Loved Me More. really hard not to see it for the performance it was now#makes me wonder if my dad really actually did love me as much as he said. not that it was much but. it was more. it was something#i know he's not capable of change. even less capable than my mom. but. i really miss my dad right now.#(âglad i can still remember what his voice sounds like. so i don't have to go listen to one of those old voicemails he left me)#even considering that the memory that brought this all up was him lying to me and betraying my trust#being no contact with my parents...i'm finally the orphan i always have been#personal#ahhhh therapy's gonna be JUICY this week đ€Ł
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
ugghhh wintertime sucks!! I'm sad and tired and sad all the time.. I need a nap.. and f/o cuddles.. and another nap..
#ash rambles đ#negative#part of it is definitely the weather#it's so dark and dreary and i never wanna leave my bed#but also just. my mood akdjajs I'm kinda down in the dumps today#im recovering from being sick which always fucks me up#and i just cant shake this feeling of anxiety..? and i feel kinda a lot like my f/os wouldnt like me or would fall out of love or never see#me as more than a friend and other stuff like that#i.. actually got broken up with yesterday irl!#it wasnt messy. he said that this isnt what he wanted and it was fine and we're back to being pals. i wasnt sad at all in the moment and#i dont think i am now..? it's weird. we were laughing like always literal minutes after having the chat. when we got together we said that#if things domt work out we wanna keep being friends. and we're doing just that. honestly i saw it coming and idek if i LOVE him anymore#what even does love feel like..? regardless I'm not upset or sad at my breakup since i saw it coming and I'm honestly happy he just. Talked#to me about it. we communicated and then three minutes later went back to talking about x.enoblade LMAAOO it was fun!#but it is ridiculous for me to expect to feel NOTHING at no longer being in a relationship. i cant just feel nothing. i dont feel sad per s#just... in my thoughts i guess? I don't think the feeling of my f/os not liking me stems from me being dumped though. i think thats just me#being me sjdjaksj I'm very insecure a lot of the time. i dont think being dumped helpd very much though LMAAAOO#I'm doing okay i promise. and I'll be alright. theres just both a lot and nothing going on at the same time and i feel... idk what i feel.#i hope my f/os love me đ i hope that a lot#and honestly i know this community is ass and I'm more than happy in my own corner with my couple of followers but. ngl I've really felt as#though I'm not valued here and all that junk as of late. yeah just.. i think everything is happening at the same time and I'm tired and#i feel like I'm a confused kiddo who doesnt know anything anymore BAHAHAHA#holy shit it just sounds like i need a shower and a nap huh- I'll be alright I'm just. dealing with stuff akdjsks but i also hate to always#bring the mood down like this! i always try my best to be haha silly and all that shit. I'm just gonna try to daydream about f/o cuddles#(and try to convince myself they dont hate me ofc)#oh and. i know i mentioned this but. i hate the weather. so much. I'm sad all the time. November is actually my least favorite month too đ#I've gotta study a lot today and I'll try to sneak in some k.urohyou and hopefully start watching monster too but yeah i apolgize if#I'm acting off these days ajdjajs I'm very stuck in my own mind these days. not exactly the most fun place to be đ#delete later#i mean akdjajs i literally started crying the other day because my friend said that my husband (k.yohei) loves me ajdkahdb come on ash..
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
your dni list is fucking insane and i mean it in the worst way possible please go outside i'll be praying for you to get better â€ïž
oh hey thanks for reminding me i need to update my carrd a bit i havent updated it in a while and i think ive changed a lot in the past few months. however if this is because of one little thing on there that i truly believe in and probably always will LOOOOL SOMEONES SALTY THAT IM RIGHT
#ask#anonymous#memo's ted talk#ohhh anon hate. i am not as online pilled as some other people i promise. plus ive been taking a break from social media posting in general#like ive just been scrolling sometimes and doing other stuff with my life other times#instead of constantly scrolling like i used to#anyway really funny ask. ive been doing really good mentally. but i did see some things that were like.#yea im removing that i was pissed when i wrote my dni some of that shit was just me being a bitch to ppl who did nothing wrong đ#but like. in general this is a very negative ask so i find it hard to believe anon genuinely cares
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
re ur post about patrick: also being fat isn't even a bad thing. it's totally normal and natural and some people are just built like that. it wouldn't take away from his attractiveness anyway, even if that was a valid metric to judge a person by.
im not gonna talk about it much more past this but yeah definitely but also the post was more like. People can find him unappealing without it being a fatphobic attack. Hes truly just an Average Dude and i think its ok for a random lesbian on tumblr to be like well i think having sex with patrick stump would be a silly hijinks filled escapade of heterosexual awkwardness. It was just a very unserious post that some people really latched onto and have turned into a big Thing and like. Idk i guess im adding onto that thru my posting but i find it equal parts annoying and kind of interesting and wanted to give my two cents
#ask#anonymous#I think some aspects of bandom are kind of perpetually stuck in 2015 culture and havent fully changed w the times#and this feels like a bit of a case of that#im not mad at anybody posting like this god knows we've all been guilty of negative reactions to mild posts#but its a pattern within bandom specifically that can get...exhausting.#idk im talking out of my ass. dont even worry about it#sorry to my fob mutuals i promise i have nothing but love in my heart for you#maybe ill try to articulate myself better later im worried this comes off as confusing or meaner than i intend
9 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hey! I know you know a lot about the uruguayan accident in los andes so I wanted to ask.... I've heard the survivors hated the film Alive!, and I've also seen pictures of some of them on the set of the movie. What have they said about it?
The only responses I'm aware of (from the suvivors anyway) are that of Carlitos, Nando and Roberto, and I'm paraphrasing heavily here.
Nando actually worked on the film, and Carlitos was also on set for a little bit (There's a video of him talking to Bruce Ramsey), so I think their response was a mixed bag.
Similar situation with Canessa, I can't find the quote but he did talk about Alive! in his book, it was a little vauge but he seemed extremely neutral about it.
There have been many discussion, especially on Facebook regarding how the suvivors and the families of the dead felt about the film, and the feeling ranges from neutral to negative as far as I've seen.
Most of what I know comes from this documentary: Alive : A Survivors Documentary & Making Of
I know that a lot of the families of the deceased didn't approve for the use of their names, look at Vicent Spano's role for example, in the film he is called "Antonio", although if we're looking at reality, their captains' name was Marcelo Perez.
People like Numa's and Arturo's name's were also changed if my memory is correct.
I wish I could give you more information! But I really don't know, if I ever find out more I'll come back edit this post with the relevant information.
Again, sorry I couldn't really answer the question, your guess is probably as good as mine, thank you so much! x
#uhhh i would suggest to check out Grupo Re-Viven on Facebook. they discuss it here and there. Not in a great light either to be fair#i i cant remember who said it but i saw a tweet that said âAlive was made for/by YANKSâ and that's honestly the best way to put it#max is a mess#There's a couple photos floating about on my blog of the cast of Alive w the suvivors (mostly w Nando).#There's like.... One of Canessa w Hamilton.#I only use Spano as an example because he's the only one I can think of rn#I have it in the back of my mind that people like Zerbino and Tintin have negative opinions on the film but I have nothing to back that up#I promise to edit this if i find out anything else but i'm literally clueless.#I've seen Alive a couple times. many inaccuracies and sometimes it's just a Sully situation#where it's just dramatized for special effect. But yeah I wish I had something else to tell you!
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
itâs not really been the best day today. exactly two years since my grandma died and one year since my aunt died, i had nightmares about it again last night, and for some reason my relatives have been using this as an occasion to try and pressure me into marriage again, and iâm just... not really doing very well right now, to tell the truth. does anyone have any hilarious jokes or funny stories or pictures of their pets or aro headcanons or anything you want to share? anything you think would put a smile on someoneâs face!
#nothing romance-related please. i can't stand it right now#i feel like i'm going insane#random stuff#sorry to be a bit negative on here. i am having a bad time#i'll be back to normal soon i promise
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
that feeling when you have so many things you want/need to do but you never get around to them, but you feel bad about feeling bad about it because the things you're doing instead benefit people you care about
#i have intended to do so many things for so long now#but by the time i'm off call with my friends its too late and i'm too tired and just#ugghh#and i can't even feel justified being mad because i have so much fun hanging out with them#and i'm the one who keeps promising i'll continue calling tommorow#so nothing ever fucking gets done#and im stuck in a cycle of feeling like shit for not doing anything and feeling like shit for feeling like shit bc i love my friends#also if you're my friend and you're reading this#hi!! i'm not mad at you dw /gen#neg posting#rant#a thing#sorry if this is incoherent it's way too late and i'm so fucking tired#yet not tired enough to sleep apparently
0 notes
Text
#Every night without fucking fail my negative self talk gets worse and worse which has been affecting my productivity. When I finally give up#and go to bed I feel completely fine in the morning. The conclusion I should logically come to here is that I should be finishing all of my#assignments when the sun is still up- however#I find myself just straight up not doing my assignments when I have to#leading to me having#to finish them at night. The cycle continues forth and I will learn absolutely nothing.#I have nowhere else to vent my frustrations without feeling like I'm ruining the vibe so this is where I choose to vent. I will very likely#regret this in the morning.#I would like to just run into the woods or something now#but I have promised myself that I will do nothing of the sort until I get to play Half Life 3#This does nothing to make me feel better.#The obvious solution here would be to seek professional help- unfortunately I am still financially dependent on my parents and I really do n#ot like the idea of them finding out I've been feeling this way for a long time. I don't want to get a job either; which I am aware is an ab#solute dogshit excuse on my part and I should be ashamed. Despite this#I will continue doing fuck all.#This'll probably be deleted in the morning. Don't try to call anyone on me; I'm not going anywhere.
1 note
·
View note
Text
stream of consciousness type deal.
#people's experiences of you will be so drastically different from what you're like when relaxing/unmasking at home and they'll be shocked#when you live together and you thought you let them see what you were like normally except most of the time theyve seen you at home its an#Occassionâą so ofc im gonna be alert and jumping around and talkative bc theres a lot happening and im really happy theyre there#and i can be still. but once they see me day after day exhausted and overstimulated its different bc i am different#i dont feel like i am but i am#and if they dont believe when you explain whats happening then shit hits the fan#for a while i did not understand why they were getting so mad at me at dinner#the other people there understand how i can be foggy or overstimulated and just need to eat and im happy to be there i just need to not look#at anyone or say much and im dizzy from working all day. i need to mash for a bit all ill be good. theyve been generous to take me as honest#when i tell them what im doing.#but a person who is not used to seeing me that way will start thinking im rolling my eyes at whats being said when im actually staring into#space or trying to refocus or trying to get my body to stay in itself instead of drifting off and they think im quietly judging and ik like#im so sorry but fr im not even listening to the group conversation and im not thinking anything negative about you im just gathering my body#i SWEAR. also its agreed that i take part in a group meal instead of isolating with my food bc i need to eat right now too#now that ive stopped working and im going to go back to working after this meal so. this is what i have to do. it is understood and you're#somewhat new to being here on a daily basis but I'm serious i just have to do this and im not being shady im just Somethingâą#(aka exhausted/overstimulated/neurodivergent.) but when i get up with the gathered dishes without making eye contact im automatically angry#and im judgemental and manipulative and trying to control everyone's mood by making my problems everyone's problems with my sighing and eye#rolling. im like. again im not rolling my eyes im trying to focus my eyes. and im not sighing at whats being said im letting out the breath#i realized ive been holding bc im holding myself back from an anxiety rollercoaster drop bc im very overstimulated rn and i was asked to be#here to share meals and deal with it in front of everyone and you arent understanding that id be doing the same thing in private#nothing's WRONG im just OVERSTIMULATED RN and im pulling my body back and im not thinking anything about ANYONE in this room but im starting#to NOW bc you keep assigning meaning where ive told you repeatedly theres none and i get why you're interpreting it this way but i promise#thats not what im doing and your reasons for why im doing it are not accurate.
1 note
·
View note
Text
Mom before: "I completely understand how much you want access to public transportation so you can finally be able to go out by yourself and I'm sorry the last multiple moves we haven't been able to do that for you, I promise next move will be different, that will be top of our list."
Mom now, as we're starting another move search: "Transportation's gonna be the same it is here."
#so THANKS FOR FUCKING NOTHING I GUESS#i actually hate you right now#like i know it's an in-the-moment thing and overall i still love you you're my mom#but right now i actually fucking hate you#what happened to all the conversations where you promised you understood how important this is to me#where you promised you understood that ths was already put on the backburner for multiple moves#where you promised next move would be different#fuck you so much#if this happens i'm gonna fucking just go all in and start WALKING#any type of street#and i don't want a fucking word out of your mouth about it because wtffffff#i literally can't believe this#i hate all the rest of the household family too who let this be on the backburner again even though they KNEW it was supposed#to be top of the list of requirements this time#but fuck me i guess#i'm just the crazy woman in the attic who needs to go back to being okay with that#and never having an independent life without them holding the leash of transportation#negative post
0 notes
Text
âđđ đđđđ. nanami kento x pregnant wife!female reader. smut, pwp. cunnilingus. pregnancy kink kinda. not proof read. reader gets called âsweetheart, honey, darlingâ
kento nanami cannot leave you alone, even if youâre pregnant. heâs a natural provider and always wants the best for you. especially when youâre carrying his childâwhich he thanks you for every single day. one day he shows his appreciation through words of affirmation, the other day itâs with endless gifts.
this time itâs by relieving your stress underneath the table while youâre peacefully eating breakfast.
âfuck. . ken,â you tug at his hair with your free hand, the other holding the toast youâve been nibbling on. your head rolls back and your breath comes out in short gasps as kentoâs tongue flicks over your sensitive cunt.
you didnât expect your morning to be like this, but youâre not complaining. kento always has to start off his day by worshipping your body in any type of way. heâll rub your small baby bump while youâre cooking, whisper sweet nothings into your ear, kiss you all over while telling you how beautiful you look and even more.
this time his usual body worship had evolved into something more. from kissing your little pregnant belly and praising you for bearing his child, to him kneeling between your legs, slobbering all over your soaked pussy.
âi know, sweetheart. your dear husband will make you feel better, i promise,â kento coos, his voice muffled as his mouth collides with your glistening folds over and over again. heâs getting lost in your essenceâthe slick messily coating his lips.
his fingers rub your clit a little in the meantime, not forgetting to pleasure you to his best ability. your repetitive moans bounce off the walls of the kitchen, echoing in his ears. you sound like an angel and your body feels like one as well.
kento tries his best to keep his own grunts down. your cunt is dripping so much, amazing amounts of wetness cover his mouth to the point that it trickles down his chin. heâs without a doubt getting drunk on your essence.
the place between your thighs is considered a heaven on earth to the blonde man.
âmhh, are you feeling better, honey?â kento asks, opening his eyes halfway to look up at you, âam i pleasing my wife well?â
the sight of your husband kneeling in front of you, his hands holding your hips steady on the chair and his mouth ravaging your puffy folds makes you forget all about the morning sickness youâve been complaining of.
âf-feels way too good,â your breath is shaky as you try to focus on eating. you canât physically get that piece of bread to your mouth, your hand shaking from the pleasure youâre being granted. your pussy tingles and aches with each lick or suckâyour hips trying to buck against kentoâs mouth.
âthatâs great,â kento murmurs, his nose bumping against the bundle of nerves thatâs nestled between your folds. the place that makes you go wild, âthatâs all i want.â you squeal and find yourself dropping your toast to place your other hand on kentoâs head.
you tug at his hair and gain another groan from him. kento notices that youâve stopped eating and he pulls away from your pulsing cunt for a second, kissing your inner thighs gently. âyou need to eat up, darling,â kentoâs hot breath hits your bare pussy as he stares at you with love and lust in his eyes, âyouâre eating for two now after all.â
he taps your little bump and leans in to kiss your swollen skin. an affectionate smile appears on his handsome features, one that makes you melt immediately. you know kento wonât resume eating you out unless you take a bite of your food again.
âfine,â you pout and grab your toast. you take a small bite and at the same time, you feel kentoâs lips kiss your core back. the tip of his tongue slithers up and down your slit, circling your pulsating hole before kissing your clit.
heâs taking his sweet time to make you cum. after all, this is meant to soothe and pleasure you. to take your mind off the negative aspects of your pregnancy. if thereâs one thing kento can do as your man, as the father of your child, itâs to take care of you both mentally and physically, in any way you need.
âhow about your breakfast, k-ken?â you ask through quick whines. your entire body feels like itâs on fire. kentoâs large hands keep holding your body down on the chair so you wouldnât have the chance to escape his loving gestures. your teary eyes look over the table, âyour coffee is getting cold.â
kento chuckles at your worries. youâre selfless, even when heâs offered to pleasure you himself. he leaves a trail of kisses up and down your throbbing pussy, his saliva mixing with your slick and causing lewd strings of clear liquid to stick to his chin.
âdonât you worry. i got my breakfast right here,â kento answers softly while eating you out. every jaw movement is down with precisionâitâs slow yet filled with passion. he slurps up any excess fluid every now and then, not caring if youâre making a mess on the chair or on his face.
kento smiles against your wetness when he hears you moan at his words. the way you look so ethereal, staring down at him with open lips, drooling a bit with bread crumbs staining the area around your mouth is absolutely endearing, âyouâre so cute. keep looking at me, darling.â
you cannot believe this man. heâs so caring, so loving. you definitely chose the right person to marry and have children with. his rough fingers come up to rub your small baby bump again, not forgetting to show you his appreciation through subtle touches in the meantime.
âso sweet,â kento sighs as he swallows drops of your slick, âletting me take care of you like this . . . such a good wife.â
heâs getting drunk on you, definitely. the taste of your essence and the fact that youâre pregnant with his child right nowâthe fact that heâs the one who impregnated you and made you a soon-to-be motherâis driving him insane. his cock is dripping with pre-cum, ready to burst.
but, heâll hold himself back for your sake. youâre going to be taken care of first since youâre his priority and always will be.
being pregnant is so worth it when your husband is kento nanami.
#sttoru writes.#jjk smut#jjk x reader#nanami smut#nanami x reader#nanami kento smut#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#nanami x you#nanami x y/n
6K notes
·
View notes
Note
Hi idk if u have already written this if u have pls igonore but what about the first time bombshell reader calls Spencer beautiful?
fem, 1k
âGideon has a new prodigy.âÂ
Your head rises of its own accord. âYeah?âÂ
âHe's younger than you. Twenty three, I think Hotch said. Fresh out of college, two degrees and working on a third? Or maybe he was getting his doctorate? I couldn't keep up.â Morgan shakes his head in disapproval. âOvereducated and under-experienced. He failed his physicals. The ones he took, anyways.âÂ
âOoh, ouch. A baby on the team before me,â you joke with a smile. âGenius baby, but a baby.âÂ
Morgan smiles when you smile, he's too nice not to, but he picks up soon enough, crossing his arms where he's stood and wrinkling what was once a finely steamed suit jacket. âI don't know what Gideon's thinking.âÂ
âDoes anyone ever know what he's thinking? What's Hotch say about it all?âÂ
Morgan reads what you're typing from over your shoulder and corrects a mistake. One day you won't need his help, but for now you take as much of it as you can get. You're not too proud to acknowledge when you mess up, you're a realist. Super sensible (in mind if not action).Â
âHotch lets Gideon do what he wants, mostly. What can you do when he's one of the originals?â Morgan leans heavily onto his desk by the forearms and shrugs. Youâre similar in this regard; complain, move on. You're similar in other ways, too. That's why you get along.Â
âWell, I want to meet this guy,â you say. âWe'll be teammates just as soon as Strauss stops hating me. I'm one strategic boxed bouquet from a full pardon.â He laughs and touches your arm like he believes you. âIs he around?âÂ
âHere they are now.âÂ
You spin in Morgan's desk chair slowly. Jason Gideon is stalking through the office with his head in the contents of a manilla envelope, while a new face follows behind him talking a mile a minute.Â
âObviously,â you hear Gideon interrupt as they get close enough. âAgent Morgan can explain that to you. Don't overthink it, Spencer, just try to get through it.âÂ
He doesn't acknowledge you nor Morgan as he leaves Spencer and hurries up the steps leading to his and Hotch's offices. You aren't expecting much else from him. What little Gideon knows about you he doesn't like. If you ever get over the Strauss hurdle, it's him you'd have to convince next. You don't watch him cross the landing, your gaze focused on the man making his timid way toward you. Your lips part briefly, and then quirk into an overjoyed smile.Â
âOh, you're beautiful,â you say without thinking.Â
He frowns at you.Â
âReid,â Morgan interrupts, âThis is Y/N L/N. She works in the sex crimes division. As you can imagine, we get a lot of crossover.â You stand, holding out your hand. âY/N, this is Spencer Reid.âÂ
âI don't shake. Sorry.âÂ
You press your hand to your chest. âOh, that's okay. I shouldn't assumeâŠâ Your voice melds into a silkiness that has his shapely brows furrowing further, âIt's nice to meet you, Spencer Reid. You're really pretty, do you know that?âÂ
Spencer peeks at Morgan quickly, who laughs good-naturedly. âShe's serious, Reid. She's not making fun of you.âÂ
âYou'd know,â Spencer says. It isn't malicious, but it isn't exactly friendly, either.
You twist to frown at Morgan deeply. âMorgan, you're not being nice to him?âÂ
âI'm being plenty nice, sweetheart, but this is how it works. I gotta haze him a little.âÂ
âNo, you don't.â You tip your cheek toward your shoulder to look at Spencer through your lashes. âHe pretends to be worse than he is, I promise. But don't let him neg you, okay? You're smarter than he isââÂ
âHey.âÂ
ââand he's used to being the office pretty boy. It's jealousy, nothing else,â you finish. Spencer really is gorgeous now you're close enough to see his eyes. A brown like caramelised sugar tented by dark, dark eyelashes. When he smiles, the very slightest hint of teeth shows, and it makes him even prettier. You endeavour to make him smile again. âSorry if I'm coming off a little strong. It's not my intention.âÂ
âShe's just nervous. You have everything she wants,â Morgan says.Â
You sigh forlornly. âOh, doesn't he?â Spencer's confused pout is even cuter than his smile. âGetting into the BAU is about as easy as walking on water.âÂ
âFor a human,â Spencer says. âEasier if you're smaller. Like a water strider.âÂ
There's a silence. Morgan is aghast, you think. You're in love.Â
âYeah?â you ask, stars in your eyes as his own spark to life.Â
âBecause water strider's can transfer their weight, but also due to their hydrofuge hairpiles. Their microhairs.â He catches himself, measuring your expression carefully. âDid you really wanna know?âÂ
âDo you wanna get a cup of coffee and tell me about it?â you ask.Â
His lips part as yours had when you first saw him.Â
He's prevented from answering as Hotch's office door opens and the man himself walks out near the railing. âGood, youâre here. I have something to talk to you about.âÂ
You grin at him. âI'd love to chat, Agent Hotchner, but I'm getting to know your new protĂ©gĂ©.â
âI see.â He waits.Â
You would ignore him âHotch has a soft spot for you (or rather, he likes you enough to put up with you, which is more than can be said about other members of his division) and he'd shrug off your dismissalâ but you're really keen to hear what he has to say. Perhaps Strauss has changed her mind about your proposed trail basis with the team.Â
âI'm so sorry,â you say to Spencer, immediately re-dazzled by his pretty, lovely face. âIt was really nice to meet you, Spencer Reid. Maybe next time you can tell me more about it.âÂ
You give Morgan a quick thank you for the help with your paperwork and trust him to log out of your emails. In your rush up the stairs, you hear a wisp of conversation.Â
âWas she messing with me?âÂ
Morgan laughs. âNo, kid. That's how she is.âÂ
"Oh... She's nice."
"You have no idea."
#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid oneshot#spencer reid scenario#spencer reid drabble#spencer reid fic#spencer reid fanfiction#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds#criminal minds fic#criminal minds x reader
8K notes
·
View notes
Text
Two Negatives
~9.8 k words
From me: I promise itâs not going to be about math that much. This is an academic rivals sort of thing. Itâs going to have at least two follow ups but this is the whole story overall. I think there are parts of it that are kind of hand-wavy and whatnot. Not completely connected or explained.
Warnings: Maybe if you read this the right way you may notice that Harry's a little bit of a sugar-daddy. Low self-esteem, cheating, mentions of sex stuff.
Summary: Harry loves annoying the girl in his classes. She's an easy target. And more often than not, she teases him right back.
Which Harry is an absolute sucker for.
âHey,â he hissed.
She ignored him. Instead, her gaze bounced back between the board where Professor Charles was writing on the whiteboard and the paper in front of her alongside her notebook, dated and titled ready to jot down any issues she had as they worked through the new material.
Something hit the back of her head. Nothing that hurt. But she felt it in her hair. Probably a gum wrapper. Or maybe the actual piece of gum. She wouldnât have been surprised. She reached behind her head without looking, grateful it wasnât a piece of gum, and she dropped the wrapper in her bag beside her to dispose of later.
He dropped his calculator off his desk (flung it was more accurate) so it landed right by her foot. She didnât flinch as it clattered and ignored the curious peeks of others looking at her like she was the one causing the noise.
âGive me a pencil,â he was right next to her, grabbing his calculator.
âGo fuck yourself,â she whispered so quietly she wondered if Harry could even hear her.
âPlease! I forgot!â
âYou always forget,â she hissed back.
Professor Charles cleared his throat. She glared at her paper as her cheeks burned with embarrassment. How dare Harry embarrass her in front of her professor because he was too stupid to bring his own pencil again. She placed dots on her graph as her professor did, stabbing at her paper a little too hard. Pretending it was Harryâs Voo Doo doll. Just so it would stop. So he would stop. But no. He was still knelt beside her.
âMr. Styles, is everything alright?â Professor Charles asked.
âYup, just tying mâshoe,â he said and stood up with a grin. That grin probably got Harry out of a speeding ticket, especially if he was pulled over by a female officer. Probably got him out of homework when he was in school because he knew how to make anyone feel flattered and good about themselves.
That stupid, pretty smile of his with the most adorable dimples probably melted any woman that looked his way.
Professor Charles rolled his eyes as he turned back to the whiteboard. At the same time Harry plucked her pencil from her grip mid stroke of the number eight she was writing. Before she could protest or even fully grasp that her writing utensil was stolen, Harry was back in his seat... right behind her. She took a deep breath and tilted her head to the ceiling trying to keep herself calm so she wouldnât scream at him in front of everyone. So, she wouldnât look like a lunatic. Why did he have to sit behind her? She reached into her bag and pulled out her pencil case and continued writing as if Harry hadnât interrupted her at all.
*
She didnât have a class following her lecture so she would have a second to breathe and eat, which wasnât the case most days. Fortunately, she was head tutor at the academic center in the library which wasnât far from the dining hall. It was also pretty easy going at the center, so she could eat while working. But it was always nice to pretend and be a regular student and eat in the hall. She listened to music and read her book. The only hour she got to read much these days. After tutoring, she would be headed to one more class before she was back to work at the college bar in the center of town.
Her schedule was mapped out to the minute. Her days filled to the brim with school and work. Because she didnât have a choice. It was the same way every penny of her budget was scheduled and allotted for other things as well. It didnât leave time for friends.
âHey gorgeous.â
Well, one friend.
He pecked her cheek before sitting across from her. âClass good?â He asked.
She nodded. âYeah, how was yours?â
He reached over the table, held her hand, and skimmed his thumb along her knuckles. It was sweet. If it wasnât so forced. âGood,â he smiled.
Isaac was an extremely handsome guy. He was popular, smart, and funny. His family had big plans for him and that was why he was on this prestigious college campus.
âHi Isaac,â a flirtatious call sounded from across the room. He turned to find the culprit but came up short.
âBy the door,â she said. Isaac turned releasing her hand as he did and waved at the girl who dissolved into giggles. After greeting the masses, he turned his attention back to her. âCan I suggest something?â
âOf course you can, girlfriend.â
She rolled her eyes. âDo you really want to be with the kind of girl who will openly flirt with someone in a relationship?â
âI think everyone knows itâs a fake relationship.â
âRegardless,â she shrugged.
âJealousy doesnât become you, my love,â he winked. He grunted when she tossed one leg over the other beneath the table and perhaps overshot just a hair.
She met Isaac on the first day of college. She was bringing her own stuff into her dorm room alone. His parents caught sight of her. Recognized her as she looked like her momâs twin from way back when they all roamed this campus themselves. But unlike them, she was there under very different circumstances. She greeted them politely, smiled, and chatted as she knew best.
But Isaac approached her later that evening. She was sweaty from unpacking all alone. Her saving grace was a dorm room to herself. Perhaps the only lucky thing about her freshman year. This place screamed money. Money that she didnât have anymore.
Isaac screamed money. âI need your help.â So, Isaac made sure she didnât die of hunger and didnât become a complete social pariah. Made sure she was taken seriously because of course this campus was littered with people who didnât believe smarts could come without money.
In return, she was to be a doting girlfriend. When his parents were around, she was to be a fixture on his arm. Would it last forever? Probably not. But at least she would be okay for four years. She was kind, lovely, the exact kind of girl they expected their son to find and help keep him stable to take over his fatherâs company.
The kind of girl that would let Isaac be with whoever. Of course they had their moments. Like the lunch breaks such as the current one. Making appearances so that if anyone asked it wouldnât be unheard of that they were together.
But she was no stranger to the whispers. That poor girl has no idea her boyfriend is cheating on her.
Fortunately, she didnât have time for a boyfriend. Especially not one like Isaac. So, if her fake boyfriend was cheating on her, then at least she didnât have to deal with it. Each time his parents came to town it wrecked her schedule. Wreaked havoc on her study time. Her work time. After three years, it was starting to feel like more of a give and less of a take in comparison to him.
But Isaac was nice enough. He still thanked her profuselyâespecially when his parents were in town. He didnât use a lot of tongue when he kissed her in effort to keep up appearances. Knowing where his tongue had been, she was grateful.
âIâm not jealous,â she told him. âI care about you enough that I donât want your heart to get broken.â
âYou know I donât have one of those.â She rolled her eyes. âYou know, Iâd be happy to throw you a bone, my love,â he leaned toward her, his eyes flirty and his smile lascivious.
She snorted. âNot even if you boiled it in disinfectant.â
âOrgasms help with stress.â
âIâm not lacking in orgasms. Not that itâs any of your business.â
âKinky, baby,â he winked. âYou actually got me hard,â he told her. He wasnât trying to sleep with her so much as he was willing to sleep with her. When they first arrived at college there were several firsts that both needed to accomplish and well, the fake dating wasnât the only thing they were able to help each other out with. But after three years of rumors and knowing what Isaac was like outside their fake relationship, she was glad she got to him before all of the rumors swarmed around her.
âI have to go to work,â she told him getting up from the table.
Isaac really was a nice friend. Lovely even. But only if they were really alone. As time wore on, he got cocky and annoyingâespecially in public. It seemed like he was doing more of a favor for her than she was for him (even though she stopped asking him for things almost a month into their arrangementâshortly after she heard a rumor of a threesome).
But his parents loved her. They didnât ask questions about his schooling or dating life because of her sweet nature. Originally, she felt guilty over their lie. But now, she was resenting that part of him more and more. He was a pretty good friend. But he was a dick of a boyfriend. âAre yâhungry, baby?â He asked.
She shook her head, cheeks blushing, and anger tingling in her blood. She hated the way he spoke to her in public; he sounded so condescending. Not at all like the kind and caring boyfriend he was supposed to pretend to be or even the kind and sweet friend he was behind closed doors. âShut up, Isaac,â she sighed. His ego played a massive part in their friendship. He was rich and popular. She was not. âYou sound like a douchebag.â
He pressed his lips to her ear, wrapped his arm around her waist. If she was looking in from the outside, she was sure it looked cute and romantic. âMm,â he hummed ignoring her insult. âCan feed you something later,â he winked.
She knew people were watching so she smiled, leaned toward his ear. âIf youâre going to feed me, I need a full meal.â
He chuckled, rolled his eyes and pecked her lips. âSee you later, baby,â he kissed her softly again as he said it. âGonna make sure youâre nice and full,â he promised loudly as he walked away. Not so loudly, that everyone would hear. But certainly loud enough for Harry Styles, who walked into the dining hall at that precise moment, to hear.
âWow, bit extra for the dining hall,â Harry smirked. She glared at him, her cheeks warming.
âDonât suppose you have my pencil?â
âHmm,â he tapped his hands over his pockets. âSorry Your Majesty,â he bowed in his over-the-top kind of way. âClean out.â She rolled her eyes, grabbed her stuff, and made her way for the exit. Harry grabbed her hand at the last second pulling her back to look at him. âYâokay?â He asked. âYâlook tired.â
She snatched her hand away. She was tired. But it didnât feel good for it to be pointed out that she looked tired. âThanks, I guess,â she rolled her eyes again. âIâm going to go now before you have a chance to insult me again.â
âHey,â he frowned and called after her again as she continued walking away. âMâserious. Yâlook like youâre getting sick.â
It was extremely unfair that Harry noticed that. âAre you concerned about me, Styles?â She glanced over her shoulder.
âSomeone has târemember tâbring me a pencil.â
âYou could very much bring your own pencil.â
âWell, then I wouldnât get tâhave these lovely conversations every day, would I, Your Majesty?â She shook her head and ignored him as he continued speaking to her. âHope he fucks yâgood and full or whatever,â he called. She glared but refused to look back at him.
*
Harry appeared in one of her classes on the first day of her second year. A transfer from another school. His smile was panty-melting. Truly. Even she could recognize that. But regardless of how pretty he was, it was obvious how annoying he was going to be. He slid into the seat right behind her. âHi,â he smiled. She ignored him, focusing on her professor starting class syllabus stuff. Besides, it seemed unlikely that someone like Harry was talking to her. âMâHarry,â he whispered.
She started scribbling on her notebook.
âHe hasnât even started yet,â he mumbled.
âCan I help you?â She turned around to look at him.
His smile was breathtaking. It really felt like he stole the breath from her lungs. âSorry, Your Majesty. Didnât mean tâinterrupt yâdoodle. Do yâhave an extra pencil?â He asked.
She stared at the twenty-year-old man in his second year of college unprepared for his first day of classes. Perhaps if she rolled her eyes and ignored him, the trajectory of her life might have been something else entirely.
Instead, she handed her pencil to him.
âThanks, Your Majesty.â
She rolled her eyes, anyway, facing forward.
*
In her Abstract Algebra class Harry was right behind her once more. âPsst.â
She ignored him. But his body was closer, his voice was closer. âYour Majesty,â he practically sang.
âWhat is your deal?â She hissed.
âI need a pencil.â
âBring your own.â
âI like the one yâgave me. It wrote so smooth.â
She doesnât know why she gave him a pencil.
But she really did know.
Harry was obviously handsome and from the way he chuckled under his breath over the lame jokes their professors made, he was quick and probably funny in his own way. But moreover, he had to be intelligent. Really intelligent to understand a pun about probability theory. The way others in the class fawned over him (guys and girls alike) it was apparent he was popular. Maybe popular like Isaac which made her dislike him just a bit.
It went that way every class. Harry was in four out of five of her classes both the fall and spring semester. Every class he needed a pencil. Each day he thanked her in his ridiculously attractive accent. Your Majesty.
What a dick.
But Harry talked to her. Even if it was just asking for a pencil. Or a picture of the notes he missed from when he went to the bathroom. He didnât care that her family was broke. That she was broke. That she worked three jobs and hardly slept. He didnât make her feel like she didnât deserve to be on that campus.
âDid yâget the answer tânumber nine?â It wasnât a trick; he wanted her answer. Her opinion. âI got two different answers three different ways. There was no judgment that she couldnât afford the extravagant lifestyle that her peers did. She had one winter coat. Not six to match her outfits. She didnât have a car. She didnât go out to eat and she made her own coffee except for on Saturdays when she splurged and treated herself to her favorite bagel and her favorite coffee.
Maybe it was because she saw him at a party. A girl at his side, smiling at him. Twirling her hair and touching his pretty chest. It was effortless. She didnât have to try to flirt with Harry. It was a given. Rich, popular, perfectly pretty. The same as Harry.
Everything she wasnât. Everything Harry would never want.
So she tended to Isaac. Kept to herself.
Gave Harry an absurd number of pencils.
Which continued into their third year. Where things got busier, harder, and more overwhelming.
But Harry was always right behind her. Asking for a pencil. Making her cranky.
But always making her feel normal when no one else did.
*
It was obvious Harry had money. The key on his ring had a symbol for a car that would never be in her price range. His clothes were pretty, the latest trends. Even his sweatpants looked like they were designer.
Maybe it could have been that way for her. Maybe if her dad hadnât embezzled all their money. Hadnât gone to jail and left her and her mother with anything more than a penny. Growing up she didnât feel rich, but she never wanted. But right as she was applying to colleges, with only one college campus that made her heart happy, it was the first time in her life she thought about and hated money.
She imagined no one on campus ever felt that way.
But even if Harry had the nicest clothes and the nicest car, he never flaunted what he had. Not even to his friends. He didnât show off or act like he had a ton of money. He was just there.
Which is why perhaps, when he annoyed her to pieces, she didnât mind giving him a pencil in the end.
*
It was a bad day. She missed her mom. She was exhausted. Didnât have time to make herself a coffee which just felt criminal. The test on her mind nearly brought her to tears as she sat down in her seat, seconds before her professor walked in.
Her pencil case was empty.
Part of her felt sad she wouldnât have a pencil for Harry. Would he ask someone else? Would he stop asking her because of it? God, why did she even care? It was a blessing. He would stop asking her. She wouldnât have to keep wasting money she didnât have on pencils.
Plus, he wasnât even there.
The test landed on her table. Her brain felt weary. Was she getting sick? Probably. Stress did a number on her immune system. It was a miracle she wasnât sick all the time.
Taking a deep breath and closing her eyes she tried to calm her mind. It wasnât the time to think about the reading she needed to complete, the shift she was covering at the academic center, or the dinner she was really looking forward to splurging on. It had been ages since she had chicken in her pasta dish.
âHey,â how long were her eyes closed? How did she miss him coming to his seat.
âI donât have a pencil, Harry,â she hissed back.
âOf course, yâdo,â she could hear his eye roll.
âI donât, I forgot my pencil case.â
He snorted. Her eyes flicked to Professor Charles who didnât look up from his own paper at the front of the room. âCâmon, quit being a brat.â
âA brat?â She whispered.
âQuiet,â Professor Charles still didnât look up.
âSorry Your Majesty, jusâ give me a pencil andââ
âI donât have one!â Her voice was quiet and maybe if she wasnât only two rows from the front of the room, it wouldnât have been a big deal when he pulled it out of her grip.
But she was towards the front.
Professor Charles stood beside their desks. âYouâre both excused.â
Her face felt hot and pale at the same time. She felt like she was going to throw up. The feeling of eyes on her made her more embarrassed than the time she tripped and fell at her third-grade band concert. âProfessor Charles,â she started.
âEnough,â he snagged her paper from her desk. Her throat felt tight, her eyes prickled, and she thought that maybe in a different life she could have been friends with Harry. Liked him, even.
But not then.
She bit on her lip to keep from crying as she packed her stuff into her bag and marched out of the room, head held high, and ignoring everyoneâs stare. Especially the guy following her out of the classroom.
*
She slapped the door to the building as Harry continued following her. She was fuming. Practically steaming from his perspective. Yet he couldnât help but think she looked absolutely adorable. âQuit fucking following me!â She snapped.
âMy God, youâre so uptight,â he rolled his eyes.
âHarry Styles, youâre an absolute dick. Just leave me the fuck alone, for Godâs sake.â
It garnered the attention of a few onlookers. But their path to the dining hall was quiet given it was the middle of class time. "Jesus Christ, do yâever jusâ take a break? Sâone fuckingtest, Your Majesty. For fuckâs sake. Heâll probably drop it. Quit being a baby."
A sniffle. One small, tiny noise.
"You don't get it do you?" She snapped. She didnât want to. But she couldnât hold it in anymore. It was too much. The final straw.
In the entire time Harry had known her he had never seen her this upset. Not like this. Not to the point where she was crying.
Because of him.
He made her cry.
"I have a squeaky-clean record. I have to be perfect all the time. I can't let one hair be out of place. I can't get one bad grade. If I do, then everyone around me makes comments and they assume itâs because I have no money. The poor girl canât hack it here. It's this massive pressure on me all the time. I can't get caught doing normal party things. I can't get caught cheating on a test, Harry. I canât. I lose my scholarship if I don't maintain my GPA. I can hardly afford to be here, Harry. I have to work three jobs. I have to budget every minute of my time as much as every dollar of my bank account. Do you know I haven't been home in three years? I miss my mom so much and I canât even afford to go see her and I just pretend becauseââ she covered her mouth and Harry swallowed hard, willing himself to not cry as well. This wasnât about him. This was all about her right now. âAnd now,â she croaked. âIâm going to have to skip dinner because I need to buy new pencils because I have been giving them to someone whoâs too fucking inconsiderate to even fucking return them after annoying me for no better reason that for kicks.â
Her sniffles turned into sobs and Harry had never felt like more of an ass. He thought she was annoying at worst, but he never wanted her to cry.
Her crying, all her tears, they were all his fault.
"I study so hard. I have to. But I want to. I want to make enough money to support my mom, and I canât do one thing wrong because if I do then Iâll lose everything. I have to study. Iâm not like you, Harry. You just know everything and that's amazing, Harry, it really is,â and for the first time since he started interacting with her, Harry felt horrible for the way he had treated her. The compliment she gave was so thoughtful. The kindness in her voice was unmissable. He was practically shocked it even came from her mouth. âBut not all of us are gifted with insane intelligence like you. Not all of us are God's gift to women and can go out and party and not be judged for kissing someone I like. Not all of us can afford to be here without help."
Harry kept his lip between his teeth to keep from speaking.
âIâll get over it,â she sniffed. âSorry for being so uptight.â She wiped her face and stalked off toward her dorm.
Harry had never felt worse about himself.
*
She wore her best interview dress. Her hair was pinned precisely so that the pieces that constantly flew away were at bay. She swallowed the rock that formed in her throat as she knocked on her professor's office door.
"Come in."
"Professor Charles," she was grateful he didn't look up because she was worried, she was going to curtsey or something equally ridiculous. "I wanted to apologizeâ"
"Your boyfriend already came to tell me he's at fault for the fiasco in class. He took full responsibility and said it was extremely unfair of me to refuse you the exam."
Her heart skipped a beat. "M-my boyfriend?" She whispered.
"Mr. Styles is very bold and I suppose I was a bit harsh. You are a brilliant young woman and role model to your peers," he praised. "Would you like to take the test now or schedule another time?" He asked looking up from his work.
She swallowed. "Um..."
"I would appreciate it, if you took it now. I need an answer key to grade the rest of them," his voice was steady, but she felt the compliment down to her bones. "I have a class in two hours, and I was hoping to check grading off my to-do list before it started," he explained.
She felt uneasy, overwhelmed, but not like she did when she sat down the first time to take the same exam. "I can do it now," she whispered and dropped her bag at her feet and situated herself at the table on the side of his office below the window. She got to work and completed the test as if all it asked was for her to write the alphabet down. She was checking over her work when she glanced out the window and saw the sprawling campus. There were people walking by at fast clips. Eager to get to the dining halls and rushing to make it to their classes on time.
But in the midst of all the people running by, there was Harry, sitting on a bench. His arm stretched across the back of it, while the other held his phone. He crossed his feet at his ankles and looked like a model for relaxation.
He took the complete blame for the test. She felt her heart aching and she stood from the table and went over to her professor's desk. "Is... Mr. Styles able to retake the exam as well?"
"I wasn't planning on it," he looked up at her. "Why?"
She bit her lip, looked at her feet. "I could have just given him a pencil."
"Mr. Styles should be prepared for his own education," he said knowingly. There was no way she was going to explain her relationship with Harry to her professor. Plus, she wasn't sure she'd be able to. She dropped her gaze and handed off her exam. "You can tell Mr. Styles he can come up and take the test," he said simply. "I have the answer key now."
She blinked.
"He'll probably ace it as well, but your handwriting is neater," he shrugged, tipped his glasses further down his nose and silently read her answers. She stood still, like she was waiting for the danger to pass. "Is there anything else you'd like to discuss?" He asked glancing back up. She shook her head, pinned to her spot. The strangeness of it all was overwhelming. "Men like Mr. Styles are going to have it a lot easier than you. The field youâve selected is male-dominated and many will sell you short because of your gender," he said. "That doesn't mean you need to worry about your worth," he assured her. "You are a brilliant, hardworking, and talented individual. Mr. Styles should be bringing you pencils to class."
Her cheeks felt warm.
"Also, to be fair, it's nice to know you're not cheating off of each other because it was getting a little suspicious," he turned her exam back across his desk and wrote her score at the top of her page, upside downâ98%. "Missed a negative."
"If Harry misses it, can you knock off more points?" She asked before she could stop herself then felt herself blush at how ready she was to throw him under the bus. She looked down shyly and covered her mouth before she looked up at him again.
Her strict professor made a face that resembled somewhat of a smile. "Of course."
âThank you,â she hoped she sounded as gracious as she felt.
âGreat work,â he nodded in response.
She headed out of the office and walked toward the bench. She sat beside him and faced forward. Harry put his phone back in his pocket and turned only his head toward her. "How'd yâdo?" He asked.
"Ninety-eight."
He tutted. "Too bad," he smirked.
A smile twitched at her lips. She looked up at the sky briefly. "He said you can go on up and take it now," she told him.
He blinked. Surprise coloring his pretty features. Harry rarely seemed stunned, especially because of her. It was cute and also exciting that he was surprised by her. "What?"
She looked at her lap, trying to focus on her nails but not for too long because she was worried that she would gnaw on them if she let the nerves overtake her. "That was... the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me," she whispered. "Especially for Professor Charles' class," she continued. Taking a deep breath, she looked at him. "I was obnoxious. Bad day or whatever... it wasn't your fault and Iâm sorry I made a big deal of it."
"I just wanted you to stop crying. You look ridiculous when you cry."
She smiled. A genuine one. Not a forced one that Harry had seen her give everyone under the sun. Not the one that she plastered on her face during presentations. It was beautiful. She was beautiful. âYâhad every right tâbe mad at me. I was a complete dick.â
She shrugged. âI... I should have just given you a pencil... it turned out there was one at the bottom of my bag and... I kind of... like giving you a pencil. You just caught me at a really bad moment.â
âI know. Mâsorry. I knew yâlooked off.â
She tilted her head at him. âYou knew I looked off?â
âMâpretty good at memorizing all your different looks,â he had a smile that made her melt. âLike right now, sâone of mâfavorites. Yâlook relaxed. It happens once, roughly, every three weeks, I think. Lasts maybe four minutes if mâlucky,â he winked. She rolled her eyes and shook her head at him. But Harry noticed how her cheeks turned red. It made him want to continue flirting with her. She was fun to flirt with. Her sarcastic comments were funny, even when directed at him, and it only amplified how smart he knew she was.
As much as Harry wanted to stay on that bench for as long as she did, he finally stood. Then rubbed the back of his head squinting at her, one eye closed. "Do you have a pencil?" He asked shyly.
She snorted, plucked hers from her pocket, and held it out to him. "I'd like it back," she reminded him. Even if he didn't, it was their thing now.
He rolled his eyes. "Wait here. It'll only take me half the time it took you." She rolled her eyes but pulled out a book from her bag and opened it to the page she was previously reading. "Hey kitten?" He asked. She didn't look up and Harry realized he never called her anything other than Your Majesty. He nudged her foot to make her look up. "Who did yâthink I was talking to?" He chuckled.
"Who me?" She asked, but Harry noted the way her cheeks turned red. He rolled his eyes. "Sorry," she shook her head. "Did you need something else?"
His expression softened and he shook his head. "I'm sorry."
"Thank you," her voice was so gentle. "I'm sorry too."
"There's nothing y'need t'apologize for,â he shook his head quickly. âI was a complete ass," he admitted. She shrugged.
âItâs okay.â
âItâs not,â he said seriously. âPlease donât let anyone treat you that way.â She nodded silently. Knowing that she couldnât promise that. Nor did she expect Harry to make her keep such a promise, but it made her heart squeeze with disappointment in herself. âBe right back,â he nudged her foot again as he headed back to the math building. She returned to her book and tried not to think about how Harry was probably right. This was the most relaxed she felt in months.
About forty minutes later Harry exited the building, walking at a leisurely pace. He sat on the bench once more. She didn't look up as he did but the butterflies in her stomach reminded her that he was there. Harry draped an arm across the back of the bench and then presented her pencil to her as if it were a bouquet of flowers. "How'd you do?" She asked gently.
He sighed, clucked his tongue. "Ninety-five,â she smiled but tried and failed to hide it from him. "I missed two negatives."
She giggled. "How embarrassing."
"How embarrassing," he mocked in a voice that was meant to sound like her. "You're so annoying. Do yâknow he uses your work as the answer key?"
It had to be a record. The longest time they had been together without bickering. The number of times she smiled because of him.
The fastest someone had ever fallen for someone she was supposed to hate.
*
When Harry saw her boyfriend, he started looking for her. He was clearly busy with his friends and the women they were entertaining. But she wasnât amongst them. He did a loop around the party. Looking for her even if he shouldnât have. He stopped and chatted during his search so it wouldnât be obvious. But even when he did stop and leaned against the wall, or grabbed another drink, he kept scanning for her.
When his loop came up empty of the pretty girl he liked to annoy, he wondered where she was and how he could ask without it being weird.
âHey stranger,â Eleanor smiled and kissed his cheek. âWhereâve you been?â
Louis gave a polite wave to his best friend from across the way, a knowing smile on his lips, grateful that someone he trusted could keep an extra eye on his lady.
âJusâ wandering around,â he mumbled.
Did he sound disappointed? He felt disappointed.
She stared at him and stood on her toes to reach his ear so she could speak to him directly over the loud music. âSheâs not here.â
âWhat?â Harry pulled back like she slapped him. Was it that obvious? It couldnât have been. He was just⊠wandering. Like a lost, lovesick puppy wondering where she was and hoping he would find her to make the weird feeling in his chest go away. Eleanor cocked an eyebrow at him. Silently telling him that hewas not fooling her. âFuck,â he mumbled sipping his drink. It was pathetic and obvious.
âShe doesnât come to these things,â Eleanor shrugged.
âWhy?â
She sighed, rolled her eyes. âHe doesnât want her here.â
Harry felt like the words Eleanor said were spoken in a language he didnât know. âWho doesnât want her here?â
âHer boyfriend.â
The grip on the bottle Harry was holding tightened. âOh.â
âGo ahead. Ask.â
âAsk what?â
âHarry.â He closed his eyes and looked around to find him. It was like he already knew it was going to break him. He didnât want El to continue even though he knew he needed to hear it. âWhat he told her to keep her away? She dotes on him too much. Worries too much about her reputation and everyone elseâs. She doesnât have fun. So, he doesnât want her here. At these kinds of things.â
Honestly, a party didnât seem like her vibe. She was more of a game night kind of girl. Someone you could take to a family cookout or a pool party with kids. But calling her not fun? Because frankly, Harry realized he hadnât liked a single party heâd been to in months and itâs because her banter wasnât there to keep him company.
âOh,â he murmured. Trying to feign indifference.
âDonât you want to ask what I think?â Harry didnât look at his friend. His eyes finally landing on the man that didnât deserve the sweet, intelligent, and beautiful girl he didnât invite. He followed his path up the stairs to the second floor. Right as Eleanor told him the worst thing he had ever heard. âHe hooks up with other girls and he has the common decency to do it behind her back,â she shrugged.
âWhat?!â He spit his eyes dropping to Eleanor again. How could she be so casual about this?
âShe knowsâŠor I would imagine she suspects,â she shrugged. âBut sheâs good for his family. They adore her. And he helps her reputation. Sheâs trying so hard to dig her familyââ
It was like he knew. Everything. All of it made sense. Every tiny fiber of her being was made for someone elseâwhether it was her family who she adored and helped as much as possible, Isaac who didnât deserve her at all, or even Harry, who honestly wasnât sure he was much better than Isaac. âDoes she know he sleeps with them?â
Eleanor looked at him suspiciously. âI donât know if they sleep with him. Iâm assuming. But I think itâs a pretty good assumption. Heâs probablyââ
Harry slammed his bottle on the ground shattering it and drawing the attention of those around him. He took the stairs two at a time and opened every door to every roomâan unspoken party rule: never open a closed door.
He was breaking it.
A girl shrieked and he just knew he had found the right room. He didnât pay any attention to her scrambling to cover up her naked chest and instead yanked him clean off the bed. âWhat the fuck!?â Harry shoved him back into the hall. He was only in his boxers. Piece of shit. Someone whistled and Harry shoved him harder as he tried to push him back and make his way for the bedroom again. âWhat the fuck, Styles?!â
âCall her,â he snarled. Shoving him against the wall again when he tried to continue escaping. âEnd it. Now.â
âWhat are youââ
âYouâre going tâcheat on her?â Harryâs voice was venomous. âHer?â He repeated. Like that was really all he needed to say. Everyone was staring now. Harry kept going. âCall her and end it. Or Iâm going over and telling her youâre done.â
The stupid prick tilted his head at Harry almost condescendingly. âDo you want her? Sheâs not like us.â
Harry didnât like the way he said us. There wasnât a single connection he wanted to be associated with in context of the vile piece of trash in front of him. Other than he managed to pick the sweetest girl he had ever met. But simultaneously, the very wrong girl to fuck with, because Harry also picked her. Unlike the moron in front of him, he was going to do everything he could to protect her and her heart.
âSheâs doesnât have money. She wonât understandââ
Harry punched him across the cheek before he could stop it and someone else watching groaned at the impact and Harry continued talking. âTell her now.â
âChrist, Styles! What the fuck!â He rubbed his jaw.
âTell her.â
âIâm not telling her shit. She knows she needs me more.â Harry jerked back like he had punched him back. âWhat? You donât think sheâd give up the reputation I have, do you?â
Harry watched him silently for only a moment longer. Without a word, he headed back into the bedroom grabbing the stray clothes. Before anyone could rationalize exactly what he was doing, he was sprinting down the steps and outside.
He threw them in the pool without thinking, ignoring the laughter and shouts from him as he hurried around the side of the house. He continued running and didnât look back.
*
Harry was in her dorm. On her floor. Stopped in front of her door.
He knocked.
Repeatedly.
There was no answer, but he knew she was there.
So, he knocked again.
And again.
Eventually there was a click of her lock despite the fact it couldnât be opened without her key card. Of course she was all about safety. Finally, he heard her voice starting to speak as she opened the door. âIâm off duty if you have an emergency, youâre supposed to see the RA on duty andââ The door was open and out of the way before she finished talking. Harry pressed himself inside. âHarry! What are youââ
âTell me sânot true.â
âWhatâs not true?â
âYâknow he hooks up with other women?â He glared at her.
The color drained from her face.
Harry rubbed his hand across his face. âWhat is the matter with you?! Are you so desperate for a scrap of affection youâll open yourself up tâdiseases and shit because youââ
âShut the fuck up,â she hissed tears stinging her eyes instantly.
ââneed him? You donât need him. Youâre a thousand times better than him. A million! Yâcould have any guy yâwant, and they would still want tâgrovel at your feet. Why would yâpick the one Goddamn asshole whoââ
âYou donât know shit. Harry Styles. Stop pretending like you know me because ââ
âThen explain it tâme because I canât think of one fucking reason someone as intelligent, kind, beautiful, and hilarious as you wouldââ
A weird noise left her throat. Almost a squeak. It was adorable. If Harry wasnât so mad. He would have told her such. Would have reveled in it because she was so fucking sweet and cute. But instead, she asked the most heartbreaking question known to man.
âYou think Iâm beautiful?â
Her question was so soft. So unbelievably shocked. Innocent. All the words left his head. It was too quiet. His shoulders were rising and falling too hard and too fast. âWhat?â He shook his head.
She looked at her feet. Harry scanned her. Her shirt was too big. It didnât look like she was wearing pants. Maybe she wasnât. Harry hoped she wasnât. She only wore one sock. Like she lost the other in her sheets or maybe she only purposefully put one on because only that foot was cold. Those pretty eyes looked at him, anxiety, frustration, sadness, all staring back at him from the depth of her soul. âNo one has ever said Iâm beautiful before.â
Harry felt something die in his chest. He really thought he would start groveling on his knees for her because he was one of millions of guys who wanted to grovel at her feet. He wanted to be better. As soon as he made her cry over missing a test, he wanted nothing more than to be better for her. âNo one?â
âJust... my family...â She shrugged.
âKitten,â he rolled his eyes. âYouâre⊠youâre really beautiful,â he rubbed a hand over his mouth, pinching his lower lip, as he scanned her. âIn a way that probably makes a lot of girls jealous,â she snorted. He sighed. âSeriously. Your hair, kitten. Itâs... so silky and shiny and your eyes,â he shook his head. âAnd your brain, my God,â he smiled softly. âMânot even going tâmention your body. Because youâre more than your appearance, but mâreally...â he nearly sighed like a lovesick teenager. Maybe part of him still was. âYouâre stunning, kitten.â
She blushed. Really blushed. So hard that Harry could see it in the dim light of her room cast from the twinkly lights she had strung around the window. Her cheeks were so red and utterly beautiful. For a second Harry thought it would be easy. All of it. Getting her to like him. Trust him.
Her face morphed into one of utter distrust. âThatâs mean,â she whispered. âYouâre... thatâs mean to...â she shook her head.
âKitten,â he frowned. Unable to believe she could think like that. He didnât even know where to begin. Everyone had to like her. She was lovely, beautiful, so intelligent it took his breath away.
But she mistook his hesitation for the worst. She shook her head. âForget it. Youâre just... being nice to me because... because you feel bad or something,â she sniffled. The poor thing couldnât even take his compliment. Harry wanted to cry. âJust the way everyone else does,â she laughed bitterly. âThank you for being nice. Or whatever. For wanting to protect me. I donât need it,â her voice cracked. âYou can go back to your party or... whatever it is thatââ
âLove,â his heart felt achy.
âNo seriously. I get it. Iâm too nice. Iâm stupid to let him walk all over me but you donât know the kind of reputation my family has in comparison to everyone here. So yeah. I let him use me as a propââ
âStop it,â he snapped and shook his head.
ââbecause Iâm good for his image, too. Even if it makes me miserable andââ
âKitten, Iâm serious. Stop it,â his voice was almost raw. Like he had been screaming for hours. Maybe it was the combination of anxiety and frustration rushing through him. Like adrenaline but worse. He wanted to cry.
ââitâs pathetic that when people see me with him, they see this innocentââ
âShut. Up.â
ââintelligent girl who doesnât know anything because her family is poor and brokenââ
âStop it!â His voice took on a new octave. It made her words fall away.
They were both seething with anger and frustration. The tears in her eyes made him sick. Like when he made her cry because she couldnât take her test. It was only the second time, but he quickly realized he hated it when she cried. âStop what, Harry?â
âStop minimizing who you are,â he practically growled.
âEveryone else does it.â
âOh yeah? Name one time Iâve done that. If everyone has done it; tell me, kitten. When have I. Ever. Made you feel like less?â
She was silent. Finally.
Harry never made her feel like less. He annoyed the shit out of her. Pissed her off and made her sad. But he never made her feel like she didnât deserve to be on that campus. Never made her feel inferior.
âMâgoing tâkiss you,â he warned stepping closer to her now that he made his point.
Her brain restarted. Her cheeks flushed again. âHarry, we canât Iâm... in a relationââ
He glared at her as her back pressed to her bed frame. Cornering her in her open room that was suddenly infinitesimally smaller than it was seconds before. âSânot a fucking relationship,â he snarled. âMânot sure what yâwere doing. But youâre not doing it anymore. Not with him. Never again.â
âBut we wereââ
âYâdonât need him,â he assured her. âTrust me.â
âButââ
âYâhave me, kitten. Mâgonna do whatever yâneed,â he cupped the back of her neck, making the words stop on the tip of her tongue and put one hand on the small of her back, pulling her to him swiftly and devouring her lips. She moaned instantly, seconds into the kiss. His lips felt like warm little pillows. Cushioning her own. It was intoxicating. Unfairly, he pulled away almost as quickly as it started. âOh sânice, kitten,â he praised. âMoaning already,â he pulled back and peppered kisses along her jaw. She whimpered softly, making him groan. âYâmake pretty little noises like that, kitten. Mânot gonna be responsible for what comes next,â he warned pressing his lips back to hers.
Her fingers tangled in his hair at the back of her head. Harry leaned forward arching her backward and wrapping his arms around her tightly. He didnât want to be aggressive, but there was something in the way her mouth tasted, the way her body felt, that he couldnât stop kissing her. Hardly breathing, or maybe he was trying to breathe all of her in, he continued pulling her lips into his mouth. Hoping that somewhere along the way, they would get stuck like that. Destined to spend eternity attached by their kiss like a Greek punishment. Except the endless touch of her mouth wouldnât be punishment. Because he wanted it to be endless. Wanted to spend forever showering her with affection because she deserved that and so much more.
âCan I stay the night, kitten? Iâll sleep on the floor if yâwant,â his voice was practically ragged. His forehead pressed to hers. âI jusâ donât want tâleave you. Please donât make me leave.â
âYou can stay,â she whispered, her voice breathless and airy. âNot on the floor, though.â
âMânot a bat, kitten. Canât hang from your ceiling,â he joked.
She snorted. âCâmon,â she tugged him to her bed and pulled her in right behind her beneath her covers.
There werenât many times Harry felt peace. âHarry?â She asked, as she settled into his embrace. His lips skimmed along her face, pressing every so often to whatever he could reach. Like he couldnât stop himself.
âHmm?â
âThank you.â
He squeezed her. âYouâre welcome, beautiful.â
She sighed. âYour mouth is pretty nice when youâre not talking,â she said quietly.
He chuckled. âJust you wait and see, kitten.â
*
As lovely as the night before was, she tried to maintain a semblance of her routine between replaying the kiss(es) and the angry confession over and over in her head. At the moment, she was grabbing lunch for herself. It was probably going to set her back a bit since sheâd need to buy more pencils since Harry stole them all, but she was a little too tired to go without supplying herself with more energy. She pulled her wallet out as the cashier rang her up. âItâs all set, love,â she said sweetly. Tilting her head, she gazed at the woman as if it were a joke.
âIâm sorry?â
âItâs all set,â she repeated. âYour foodâs been paid for already.â
She blinked, glanced around, looking for someone that fit the description of Good Samaritan. âWho...?â
âIâm not sure. I was just told that if you came through the line to tell you itâs been taken care of. You can get whatever you want,â she shrugged.
Blinking again she glanced around again. A line formed rapidly behind her. She gathered her items and headed for a seat. The one where Isaac usually joined her. But there was no Isaac. She read her book and listened to her music in silence. It was peaceful. When the hour was up, she headed back to the kitchen area to grab another snack, lining up behind the others waiting to check out as well. âYour foodâs paid for.â
She felt like she was being pranked. âAgain?â
âNo, always.â
She felt like her mind was short circuiting. âWhat?â
âYour meals. All have been paid for. For the year.â
The snack she got was going to be uneaten because she felt like it was a prank. âI donât understand.â
âI really donât have more details than that. We were just told your food was paid for.â
âWe?â
âMy boss left, but I can have him reach out and explain it.â
âPlease. Thank you.â
Stunned, she left with her snack. She headed to the library academic center. The tutors on her shift all waved to her. âThat gift is for you,â Gabby said. At the front table was a fairly large giftbag. The kind you get for a kidâs birthday and put a board game in it. She looked at it curiously and pulled the tissue paper out of the way. She swallowed the lump in her throat realizing she didnât need the dining hall manager to reach out to her after all.
She plucked the card from the slot on the side of the bag.
Half are probably for me anyway.
The bag was filled with packages of her favorite pencils. More than she would need for the rest of her undergraduate degree. Maybe even graduate. Or even the rest of her life.
She took a deep breath and pulled out her laptop and opened her email. She typed in Harryâs address, because she still didnât have Harryâs phone number. Even after making out with him for hours. After waking up in his arms later than she was supposed to and letting his lips linger on her skin.
She wrote her message and pressed send before she could overthink it.
You didnât have to do that. Itâs way too much, actually. Iâm a little uncomfortable imagining you spending THAT much money on food and pencils.
Well. If you died of starvation, I wouldnât have anyone to bother. Kind of a boring way to suffer through the last two years of collegeâwe have Real Analysis I and II next year. I canât do that alone.
Thank you. That was... very nice of you.
Youâre welcome, kitten. Coffee is free too; I went to every shop within walking distance and left your picture. An old ugly one from your momâs Facebook page, donât worry. Didnât want you to get a big head about all of this. Itâs not a big deal.
Help yourself to whatever you need and if you need something else let me know.
And this is my phone number so you can stop emailing me like itâs 2003.
She smiled fondly at the message. Closed her laptop and felt happier to be at work than she had in weeks.
*
Harry didnât force anything. She was lying against his chest in her small room, on her small bed. âIâm sorry itâs so cramped,â she whispered.
âSâbetter for snuggling,â he shrugged and kissed the top of her head. âGo tâsleep, please, kitten.â
âDonât you want to... I donât know, fuck or something?â
âWell, when yâpropose it so romantically like that,â he murmured.
She pouted. âI donât know... I just assumed that...â
âThat mâlike Isaac? Please donât make that assumption anymore.â
âSo, you donât want to fuck me?â
âOh, more than anything,â he tilted her head up and brushed his finger on her warm cheek. âBut not until youâre ready.â
âI literally justââ
âNo. Yâthink sâbecause weâre supposed to. Not because yâwant to,â he shrugged one shoulder. âIâll wait,â he promised and kissed the tip of her nose, and it was the lamest kind of kiss imaginable. Being twenty-one and melting over a kiss on the nose.
Yet it made her want a thousand more of them. Made her want to cry with how adored she felt. Harry didnât care that she worked a thousand hours. He didnât expect her to make out with him. Or blow him. Or anything sexual. No, he practically begged her to sleep in his arms.
It was unfair how sweet he was wrapped up in the body of someone that made her infuriated for the last year and a half. Right as she was about to pass out, she jerked herself awake involuntarily. âYâokay, love?â He hummed as if she so much as coughed and not nearly punched Harry in the face with her movement.
âTired.â
âI know, baby. Mâtrying tâmake yâsleep,â he combed her hair down. Traced her spine in the same movement. âSurprise, surprise, youâre a bit stubborn.â
âWho me?â
âWant me tâsing?â
âDonât want my ears to bleed, no.â Harry chuckled softly. Ignored her.
Then hummed.
It was so warm, so soft, it felt like magic. Harry could sing. That wasnât on any Bingo cards when she thought about Harry. She didnât even know what song he was singing. But it lulled her right to sleep.
*
Harry was wrapped around her in the small bed, his head tucked below her chin, his face smushed into the front of her shirt. If she wore a lower cut shirt, Harry would have been drooling on her boobs. âYouâre able to breathe in there?â She whispered, threading her fingers through his hair.
âSâthe only way I want tâgo,â he promised, his voice muffled with sleep and the fabric on her body. âOr with yâlegs wrapped around mâhead,â he shrugged one shoulder. If Isaac said that to her, she would have punched him. When Harry said it, it made her want to wrap her legs around his head. Made her squeeze her legs together. âFelt that,â he mumbled. Her legs were wrapped around his waist, so he had no choice but to feel it. âDid yâsleep okay?â
She nodded. âDid you?â
âExtremely. Wrapped up in mâfavorite girl.â
Her heart fluttered and she kissed the top of his head. Never would she have imagined Harry being so sweet and lovely like this. âAre you... going to be mean in public to me?â
âI hope not,â he pulled away and rubbed his eye. He looked sleepy and boyish. A devilish combination for her skeptical heart. âHave I been mean tâyou?â He asked. âI know I tease, but mean?â She supposed he wasnât mean. Maybe the teasing tricked her.
âI guess the teasingââ
âMâso sorry love,â he frowned and cupped her cheeks, kissed her softly on the lips. âNo more teasing,â he promised.
âWell,â she laughed softly. âI kind of like teasing you.â
He smirked. âI donât want you to think mâmean,â his eyebrows pinched together.
âCan I ask you a question without making fun of me?â
âI think that depends on the question, kitten. If yâask me some basic math problem like whatâs the indefinite integral of x-squared times cosine x or whatâs a negative times a negativeââ
âAre we dating?â
He stopped his joke and cupped her face. Dropped his forehead to hers and brushed his thumb along her cheek. âI would fucking hope so, kitten.â
She swallowed. âYou donât care that Iâm broke? Or that I work a lot and Iâm crazy andââ
âNo, I donât care âbout any of that. Youâre mâfavorite person to annoy. The person I look forward tâseeing most in class. Youâre the entire reason âve never skipped class.â
Her heart fluttered. âYou canât pay for everything, Harry. It was a sweet sentiment butââ
âMânot letting mâgirlfriend starve,â he rolled his eyes.
Her heart definitely fluttered. He was sweet. Harry was sweet. What a revelation. Or maybe she always knew that.
She looked into those beautiful green eyes that made her feel overwhelmed in the best way. âWhy do you call me Your Majesty?â She whispered quietly. Almost scared to hear the answer.
He rolled his eyes again. A favorite past time of his. âBecause kitten,â he pressed his lips over hers briefly, then kissed her forehead, and finally the tip of her nose. He met her gaze and made sure she was focusing when he spoke again. In a few minutes she would be busy, overwhelmed, and stressed. For the moment, Harry wanted to make sure she knew just how important she was to him. âI think youâre a queen.â
--
general taglist: @justlemmeadoreyou @daydreamingofmatilda @sunshinemoonsposts @loving-hazz @likeapplejuicenpeach
@straightontilmornin @freedomfireflies @littlenatilda @kathb59 @babegoals
@angel-upon @lilfreakjez @mleestiles @ameliaalvarez06 @canyonmoondreams
@summertime-pills @daphnesutton @l4rrysh0use @perfectywrong @foreverxholland
@lovrave @st-ev-ie @pandeebearstyles @toosarcastic03 @luvonstyles
@tenaciousperfectionunknown @classychalamet @love-letters-to-uranus @emmaawbr @crossyourpeter
@kissinthekitchen @kittenhere @stylesfever @indierockgirrl @michellekstyles
@just-another-reader1098 @hermionelove @tiredinwinter @whimsy-willows @hannah9921
@fangirl7060 @triski73 @vikiii07 @prettygurl-2009 @madstyles3204
@angeldavis777 @tchlamqtsgf @lizsogolden @me-undiscovered @you-sunshine
@rose-girls-world @claimingharrystigertattoo @inlikea-coolway
I'm sorry if I missed anyone in the taglist. Please let me know if you'd like to join, if it didn't work, if you no longer want to be included, etc. :)
If you like this, check out my masterlist here
#harry styles#harry styles writing#harry styles fluff#harry styles blurb#harry styles blurbs#harry styles smut#harry styles angst#harry styles imagine#harry styles imagines#harry styles fic#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles x y/n#harry styles x reader#one direction#one direction writing#college!harry styles#academic rivals!harry styles#two negatives
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
Overtime
Summary: Sometimes, working overtime isnât all that bad.
Pairings: Loki x Female Reader
Warnings: Smut, 18+ minors DNI, sex, cunnilingus, teasing, light bondage, office romance.
Series: Overtime (I don't have a masterlist for this, but if you enjoy these idiots, check out Daylight, a sort of sequel).
A/N: This was largely written prior to season 2 and posted right before episode 4, so itâs not entirely canon compliant and the parts that are may be compliant by accident.
Also, @give-me-a-moose and I were on a similar wavelength about Loki angrily reading romance novels and I would strongly recommend checking out her fic The Imagine Nation if you too are enthralled by this idea.
You donât think that Mobius intended to keep Lokiâs desk behind yours.
âItâs temporary,â he tells you apologetically. âHe just needs somewhere to go for now, until I figure out what to do with him.â
âYouâre talking about him like heâs a stray cat that you found,â you say.
âYou wonât even know heâs there, I promise.â
âYouâre still doing it.â
Mobius sighs and puts on his most sincere, earnest expressionâthe one that he always uses when heâs about to ask you for a stupidly massive favor.
And itâs only because you almost never, ever see this look from him that you back down.
âOkay, fine,â you say. âBut heâd better be on his best behavior.â
Mobius puts his palms together and tips them toward you. âThank you. You will not regret this, I promise.â
You sigh and shake your head. âJust remember this next time youâre budgeting for raises.â
But thenâin a move that you certainly donât expectâLoki ends up sticking around. And, in the subtle way that the stray youâve been feeding slowly turns into your cat, Lokiâs temporary desk becomes his permanent desk. And strangely enough, Mobiusâ assurances turn out to be more correct than not: Loki does a lot of fieldwork and is often away; when he is at his desk, it tends to be because he is working on more complicated missions, the ones that require poring over mountains of files looking for patterns and trying to untangle the slippery mess of time itself.
Your work is decidedly less glamorous than Lokiâsâalmost no fieldwork, lots of files. Endless files. Some days you feel as though you must have seen every file in the TVAâs extensive library and then youâre immediately proven wrong by another wing of filing cabinets that you swear wasnât even there before.
Although he is generally well-behaved as your desk neighbor, Lokiâs presence has a way of distracting you. Even if you didnât know who he was, your gaze would still naturally drift his way, lingering on those regal cheekbones, that ink black hair, that cunning smirk. The way that the fabric of his dress pants clings to his thighs certainly doesnât help, to say nothing of how his forearms look with his shirtsleeves rolled up. He can make your heart start to race with no more than a casual glance in your direction and god help you if he gives you one of those devastating smiles. Luckily, you donât think he takes that much notice of you. You have the sort of pleasantly dull exchanges of coworkers who donât really know each other and he is almost painfully polite to you. Itâs a strong departure from the way he interacts with othersâwith others, he is bold, charming, sarcastic, talkative, a far cry from the more subdued, almost courtly tone he strikes with you. Itâs a difference that is so stark that you canât help but attribute it to some sort of negative feeling on his end.
âHowâs it going with Loki?â Mobius asks you during a one-on-one meeting a couple of months after Lokiâs temporary desk becomes his permanent desk. âHeâs behaving himself, right?â
âItâs been fine,â you say, âthough truthfully, I donât think he likes me all that much.â
âWhat? Of course he likes you,â Mobius says. âWhy wouldnât he like you? Youâre lovely.â
You shrug. âI dunno, heâs just different with me than he is with everyone else. LikeâŠoverly polite. Itâs like he thinks Iâm going to send him to the principalâs office or something.â
âLet me get this straight,â says Mobius. âFirst you were worried that he wouldnât behave himself and now youâre worried that heâs too well-behaved?â
Privately, you realize he has a point. Outwardly, though, youâre not going to admit it. The sardonic tilt of Mobiusâ mouth suggests that he knows this.
âNo, I justâŠI donât think he likes me all that much,â you say. âAnd heâs entitled to that. People donât like each other all the time, itâs not a big deal.â
This is also a little bit of a lieâyou do wish he liked you. Loki is so magnetic itâs hard not to want his attention. And with the matter of your silly little crush, wellâŠthat doesnât help either.
Mobius sighs. âI think youâre overthinking this. He likes you, sometimes it just takes him a little time to warm up. Heâs a bit of a prickly guy.â
You bite down the urge to point out that youâve seen him warm to other people almost immediately. This conversation has already gone on longer than you want and you are edging dangerously close to having to admit that you care so much because you have a big stupid crush on him, which is obviously unacceptable.
âWell, the point is that itâs fine,â you say quickly, trying to project an aura of cool confidence. âI donât have any complaints, he seems like heâs settling in, so letâs move on. Did you have any feedback on my recent report?â
The furrow between Mobiusâ eyebrows deepens just slightly, the only indication that he doesnât fully believe you. But for whatever reason, he decides to let it go and follows your change in topic without further comment.
This is one of the reasons you like Mobius as much as you do: he always seems to know the right moment to push and the right moment to bend.
Youâre not sure if your relationship with Loki would have changed had it not been for the problem of Charles Berlitz.
The joke around the office is that after Mobius convinced Loki to work for the TVA, he needed something new to obsess over and Charles Berlitz was the next best option. Itâs hard to say exactly who Berlitz is, as he has a tendency of showing up, wellâŠeverywhere. He is quite literally in every timeline, at least as far as anyone can tell. Sometimes he is an author, penning serious, scholarly essays on outlandish theories like the Bermuda Triangle and the Philadelphia Experiment. He seems to have a fondness for all manner of schemesâhe was responsible for introducing both homeopathy and multi-level marketing to no fewer than sixty different timelines. His ability to peddle bullshit naturally led him to politicsâpick any rebellion, coup, or campaign on any given timeline and thereâs a good chance youâll also find Charles Berlitz.
Scammers and con artists are not atypical in your line of work, but what makes Charles Berlitz an enduring mystery is that he has never been found. You can have reputable documentary evidence that Berlitz was present at a certain time and location, but if you show up to investigate, he is never there. There have been some glimpses over the yearsâa shadowy face in the back of a crowd, the hem of a cloak disappearing behind a cornerâbut nothing concrete or substantive.
âOur ghost in the timeline,â Mobius had said in one of his more poetic moments at an all staff meeting, his voice overly hushed and dramatic. You had seen Loki roll his eyes and you had to fake a coughing fit to hide your laugh.
Time moves differently at the TVA, so itâs hard to say how long Mobius has been working on this case when he makes a breakthrough, but itâs not terribly long after your conversation about Loki. A campaign button had been found in an apartment that Berlitz rented for two years in the French Quarter. That particular campaign button could only have existed in one specific timeline and its distribution was limited. You arenât entirely clear on all of the details, but Mobius seems to have a plan.
And unfortunately, that plan involves you giving up most of your weekend to work.
Itâs near quitting time on what passes for a Friday at the TVA. Loki has been in today and you can hear him starting to pack up. Technically, heâs got twenty minutes of work left, but youâre not about to tell him that.
You doodle absently on your notepad. Technically, youâve also got twenty minutes of work left, but realistically: nothing is happening.
âOh, great, youâre both still here.â
In general, this phrase has never meant good news for you and when you look up, you see Mobius with a sizable armful of files.
Also not a great sign.
Mobius plunks the stack of files directly on your desk. âThereâs been a development with Berlitz. I need you both to review these now.â
âItâs Friday,â says Loki, affronted. âSurely it can wait until Monday.â
âNo can do. I need this done by Sunday at the latest,â says Mobius. âThis is an all hands on deck situation.â
Loki glances pointedly at the office around you, which has already started emptying out for the weekend.
âAll hands on deck, but most hands are already in the field,â Mobius concedes. âWhich is why I need the two of youââ He points to you. âYou because youâre goodââ He gestures to Loki. âAnd you because youâve got desk duty.â
âI beg your pardonââ begins Loki.
âHeâs grounded,â Mobius says to you in an exaggerated stage whisper.
This is not surprising to you: you had heard a rumor last week about an incident that had occurred on a mission to the inauguration of Richard Nixon and you suspect that these two events are likely connected.
You look at the pile of paperwork on your desk. You could probably get through it on your own in a couple of hours, but if Lokiâs helping, maybe you still have a shot at having Saturday to yourself. You bite back a sigh. âWhat do you need me to find?â
âAnything that mentions anyone from the Lucchese crime family or Nero Variant N2815,â says Mobius. âIâll go get the rest.â
Your heart sinks. Farewell, Saturday. âThereâs more?â you say.
âItâll be triple overtime, I already got it approved!â he calls over his shoulder
You sigh and glance at Loki who is scowling at the pile of files as though theyâd wronged him personally.
Thereâs a long moment of silence before you speak. âIs there any truth to the rumor Iâve been hearing about the Nixon inauguration?â you ask.
âIf it involved a hot air balloon, then yes,â he says rather tonelessly.
âWell.â You pause as you stare at the pile of papers. âAt least it was worth it.â
That at least earns you a hint of a smile.
*
Several hours later, your stomach is growling and youâve developed a rather impressive crick in your neck.
You lean back in your chair, stretching your neck to the side and rubbing the knot that is pulsing in your upper trapezius. Office work has done nothing positive for your posture in general, but tonightâs work has you hunched over more than usual and your neck is aching.
You and Loki have made good progress, but your pile of finished and sorted files is scarcely comparable to the full cart that Mobius had brought in. Back when the evening was new and you werenât quite so tired, youâd been optimistic about possibly having half a Saturday free from work; that hope has slipped away the longer the evening has dragged on. Now youâre hoping that youâll still have a bit of Sunday to yourself and even that feels unlikely.
Your stomach growls again. You should probably eat somethingâyouâd worked through your regular dinner hour in a fit of misplaced optimism. The cafeteria is closed this time of night, but thereâs a vending machine not far from your office that has shitty coffee and mostly edible sandwiches.
You stand and stretch, stifling a yawn as you turn around. âIâm gonna grab a coffee and some dinner,â you say. âDo you want anything?â
Loki looks up at you from the file in front of him, blinking somewhat dazedly and running a hand through his messy curls. âIâd like to stretch my legs a bit, if you donât mind the company.â
You honestly didnât expect him to want to join you. Itâs a pleasant surprise, certainly, but also a little nerve wracking in the way that interacting with Loki always is. Heâs so handsome and aloof and youâre not quite sure how to talk to him without acting like a total fool.
But youâre also not about to say no, either.
âOf course,â you say, âI donât mind at all.â
The TVA is unusually quiet at this time of nightâthe steady hum of fluorescent lights and the murmur of distant voices is all that accompanies the tap of your shoes on the linoleum. It only heightens the jittery, nervous feeling you get from Lokiâlike your stomach is filled with drunk, lightning struck butterflies.
âAre you finding much?â asks Loki as you enter the hallway together.
You shrug. âA bit. Mostly on the Nero variant. Iâm not having as much luck with the Luccheses.â
âIâve got all of their property transfers, I think,â he says. âRenato Lucchese never met a vineyard he didnât like.â
âOr racehorses, from what I understand,â you say. âI think thatâs how he lost most of his money.â
You arrive at the vending machines. Loki looks at the vending machines and then back at you, a somewhat puzzled and troubled expression on his face.
âThis is what you meant when you said you were going to get coffee and dinner?â he says.
You shrug. âYeah, whatâs wrong with this?â
He points at the coffee machine. âMobius calls that machine Satanâs coffeemaker, does he not?â
âYes, but I know how to trick it into giving me something thatâs almost palatable,â you say.
Loki gives you a rather dry look. âSomething thatâs almost palatable?â
âI mean, Iâm just trying to manage your expectations. Itâs still pretty shitty coffee, it just tastes less burned.â
He looks at you for a long moment before tilting his head toward the hallway. âCome on, letâs go.â
Itâs your turn to look skeptical. âWhat are we doing?â
âWeâre going out for dinner.â
*
He takes you to a twenty-four hour diner called Frankâs thatâs maybe a five minute walk from the TVA. Itâs one of those places with yellowing Formica tables and big booths covered in red faux leather patched with the occasional square of duct tape. It smells like coffee and grease with a faint odor of cigarette smoke despite the prominent no smoking signs.
âI wouldnât have thought this kind of place was your style,â you say as you sit down in a booth next to the window.
âIâve expanded my horizons,â he says, sliding into the seat across from you.
An older woman with greying blonde hair approaches your booth. She wears a nametag reading âConnieâ in big capital letters, a sticker of a pink cat stuck on the space next to her name.
âHow yâall doinâ tonight?â she says as she hands you each a laminated menu. She looks at Loki. âYou want your usual?â
âPlease,â he says.
âYou got it.â She turns to you. âHow âbout you, hon, can I get ya started with something to drink?â
âCoffee would be great.â
âAll right, Iâll be right back with your drinks.â
You raise your eyebrows at Loki as she walks away. âYou eat at diners and you have a usual order. My expectations are being completely upended.â
He returns your pleasantly amused expression. âAnd you have vending machine coffee for dinner. Itâs a revealing night.â
âI mean, I donât actively seek it out,â you say. âItâs a convenient option that I exercise only when I have no other choice.â
âNo other choice?â A sly smile curls at his lips. âDo you not have the entire array of space and time at your fingertips?â
âWell, first of all, we arenât supposed to use TemPads for personal errands without a supervisorâs approval.â
âTechnically.â
âNo, actually. Itâs in the personnel manual. Like verbatim.â
He raises an eyebrow. âYou would put yourself through the egregious physical suffering of vending machine coffee simply to appease the capricious whims of our cruel overseer Miss Minutes?â
You bite back a laugh. âYou know sheâs not actually our boss, right?â
âI canât discount that possibility. She wields a concerning amount of power within the organization.â
Connie is back with your drinksâcoffee for you and tea for Loki. âSunday Special?â she asks Loki as she sets a metal teapot and empty mug in front of him.
âPlease,â he says.
âYou got it.â She looks at you. âDidya get a chance to look at the menu or do you need a minute?â
Youâre feeling a little daring. âIâll try the Sunday Special as well.â
âAll right, two Sunday Specials cominâ right up,â she says, collecting your menus.
âSo, whatâs in a Sunday Special?â you ask Loki as you take a sip of your coffee.
âBoiled fish eggs, mainly,â he says, pouring the hot water into his tea mug.
âLiar,â you say promptly.
He raises an eyebrow. âYou didnât even look at the menu, how could you know?â
âPlaces like this donât serve fish eggs,â you say. âWay too unusual and definitely the wrong price point.â
âI suppose youâll just have to see,â he says with a playful glint in his eyes. The easy charm that youâve seen him use with the others is on full display and itâs enough to make you giddy. Maybe he doesnât dislike you after all.
âWell, if itâs fish eggs, youâre picking up the bill,â you say, âand Iâll be getting something else instead.â
âYouâd really hold me responsible for your impulsive dinner selections?â
âYep. And I donât even feel bad about it.â
He raises an eyebrow. âI didnât realize you could be so unforgiving.â
âWell, you donât know me all that well.â
âTo be fair, you keep to yourself quite a bit.â
âA little bit,â you say. âBut also to be fair, you havenât really asked.â
âOn work time?â he says, widening his eyes in mock horror. âThat would mean write ups for both of us, I couldnât let that happen.â
âI think I know enough about you to know that getting in trouble is not one of your primary concerns.â
He gives you a sly smile, like youâve caught him out and he likes it. âThatâs a diplomatic way to put it.â He takes a sugar packet from the dispenser on the table and tears it open before pouring it into his mug. âWell, weâre on break now, so you can safely tell me something about yourself.â
You drum your fingers on your coffee mug. âWhat do you want to know?â
âWell, this canât be the only part of your life. Who are you outside the TVA? What did you do before this?â
That giddy feeling comes to a screeching halt and you take in a long, slow breath. Itâs a simple question, one that most people can answer to some degree. For you, though, itâs a bit more complicated.
âWell,â you say. You take a sip of your coffee, mostly to give your hands something to do. âI donât actually knowâI chose not to remember when they gave me the option.â
Youâre surprised by how gentle his eyes are when you look up. âMy apologies,â he says, âI didnât realize.â
âItâs okay,â you say and you really do mean it. âYou couldnât have known.â
Usually, you say something like this and then gently redirect the conversation, but something about the way heâs looking at you makes you want to continue. Like maybe he understands difficult things and doesnât mind hearing about something that others would shy away from.
âWhen they told us everything and said they could fix our memoriesâŠâ You clear your throat and focus your gaze just above his shoulder. âItâs weird, but I just had a feeling that it wouldnât be good for me to knowâŠthat something really bad had happened. So I asked Mobius to check for me, just to be sureâŠâ You swallow, blinking hard.
You remember how sad Mobiusâ eyes were, how heâd gently placed a hand on your shoulder and said, âI think youâre making the right call, kid.â
âItâs not really okay, is it?â Loki says softly.
You shrug. âI mean, itâsâŠit is what it is.â
âYouâre a terrible liar, you know.â
âItâs not a lieââ
He raises a skeptical eyebrow and you remember that he is, in fact, the god of lies.
âItâs more likeâŠI canât really miss what I donât know, but at the same time, the reality of that absence hurts a little. So maybe not exactly okay, but not exactly not okay, either.â
Thereâs a lot of kindness in his gaze and you have to look away because it makes your head spin and your breath catch in your throat. âIâm not really sure if that makes sense,â you say.
âIt does.â
Thereâs a silence between you, but itâs not uncomfortable.
âDo youâŠdo you think youâd want to forget if you had that option?â Youâre not entirely sure what prompts the question and you regret it almost as soon as it leaves your mouth. âIâm sorry, thatâs probably too personal.â
He shakes his head and thereâs a warmth in his eyes that you donât expect. âI rather think I owe you one.â He pauses, running a finger around the rim of his mug. âSometimes I do,â he says finally. âIt can be quite painful remembering.â He worries his lip between his teeth. âBut Iâm not sure who I would be without the knowledge of my past, either.â His gaze flicks back to you. âWhatâs it like for you? Do you feel like you know who you are without those memories?â
Itâs a good questionâone youâve never been asked. âI mean, itâs hard to say for sure. I think I do,â you say. âSometimes I wonder if I was different in my timeline. Maybe I was kinder because I had different experiences that made me more empathetic. Maybe I wasnâtâmaybe I was worse. Maybe I had a villain arc.â
He chuckles. âThat doesnât seem likely.â
âI dunno, maybe it explains the vending machine coffee and my fish egg related threats,â you say and you feel almost giddy when he returns your smile. âOr maybe Iâm the same and all those experiences that shaped me are just scars I canât see.â You shrug and take a sip of your coffee. âAt the end of the day, though, that timeline is gone. Iâm all thatâs left. Itâs sad, but itâs also freeing, in a way.â
He nods. âMobius has said much the same.â
You smile slightly. âOur philosophies are similar, I suppose, though I think there are probably more bits of his past self in his present self than he realizes.â
Loki grins. âItâs the jet skis, isnât it?â
âI mean, I just donât think most normal people spend that much time expounding on the reliability of the Yamaha engine versus the pure, raw power of the Kawasaki.â
Loki holds up a finger. âBut have you gotten the lecture about Yamahaâs braking system?â
âI think I have that memorized at this point.â
ââThe perfect choice for families.ââ
ââYou just tap the brakes. Just tap them. Perfectly smooth stop every time.ââ
ââReliability meets affordability.ââ
ââYou canât say no to that.ââ
You think you probably could have riffed on this for a bit, but youâre interrupted by the arrival of Connie with your dinner.
The Sunday Special turns out to be a fairly traditional breakfastâeggs, hash browns, two fluffy pancakes, sausage, toast, a little bowl of strawberries.
âDefinitely lots of fish eggs in this meal,â you say to Loki after Connie leaves.
His smile is small, but genuine. âYou havenât looked under the pancakes yet.â
You feel it then, but you donât fully understand until later that this dinner has unlocked something important between the two of you. After months of awkward, stilted conversation, itâs like you finally understand how to talk to each other. And youâre surprised to find that even outside of your big stupid crush, you actually like Loki. You like his sly smiles and his dry humor and how easily the two of you fall into a routine of playful banter. You click in a way that surprises you, in a way that makes you mourn the lost potential of all those awkward, stilted months and feel giddy about the possibilities ahead.
Dinner is over too soon and you walk back to the TVA feeling revived from the coffee and the conversation.Â
Disaster awaits you back at the office, though: youâd left a stack of the Nero variant files on your desk and evidently the construction was too precarious, as the entire pile had tipped off your desk and spilled to the floor, contents scattered everywhere.
âFucking hell,â you sigh, running a hand through your hair. Youâre not sure whether you want to laugh, cry, or scream. Possibly, itâs all three.
âHere.â Loki is bending down on the floor to gather the files. You studiously try to not ogle his ass or thighs. Or at least not obviously. âClear off some space on your deskâIâll help.â
Twenty minutes later, youâve set up an entirely new systemâLoki has dragged his chair over to your desk and the cart of unsorted files sits between you, like a surly metallic chaperone. And even later when youâve sorted out all of the files from the floor, he remains parked at the end of your desk, a stack of new, unsorted files in front of him. Admittedly, itâs a lot more efficient for you to work like this: privately, though, it gives you a warm glow that has nothing to do with workplace efficiency.
âIâve invented a new game,â he says some time later.Â
âWhatâs that?â
âEvery time either one of us finds documentation showing Renato Lucchese losing money on a racehorse he was told was not a good investment, I get to have a drink.â
You look up at him. âLook, I know youâre a god and everything, but I am pretty sure that will kill you.â
He sighs and tosses the file into the Lucchese pile. âI think it would add a little excitement to the evening, donât you?â
You raise your eyebrows and look back at the file in front of you. âYou mean this isnât your idea of a fun Friday night?â
âMy idea of a fun Friday night includes far fewer files and a lot more debauchery,â he says, taking a new file from the cart.
You glance at the clock. âWell, itâs only eleven. I donât usually start body shots until after midnight.â
âWhat are body shots?â
For one horrifying moment, you think that youâre going to actually have to explain this to him, but then you get a good look at his expression.
Heâs teasing you.
âYouâre an ass,â you say, swatting him on the shoulder with the file youâre holding.
He wags a finger at you. âThatâs workplace violence. Iâm going to have to report that.â
You lean back in your chair and return to your file. âIâm pretty confident that youâll be put off by the amount of paperwork that process requires.â
He shakes his head as he returns to his own file. âUncontrolled bureaucracy is how bad actors escape accountability.â Thereâs a brief pause. âAndâŠthereâs another racehorse.â
You continue on like this for the rest of the evening, occasionally chatting and Loki proving definitively that the Renato Lucchese racehorse drinking game could not be played without resulting in a fatality. Itâs nice, though. Yes, itâs sorting files and yes, itâs not the most intellectually riveting task youâve ever done, but spending time with Loki is nice. Itâs because of this that you find yourself trying to stay awake, pushing past your looming exhaustion.
But around two, you canât quite fight the heaviness of your eyelids any longer and you doze off in the middle of a report on the sinking of the Lusitania.
âHey.â Loki is gently shaking your shoulder. The way he says your name in that deliciously deep voice makes you want to swoon and youâre glad that you have the ready made excuse of sleepiness to explain any embarrassing behavior on your end.
âI think youâd better call it a night,â he says gently. âGet some sleep and come back with fresh eyes.â
âWhat about you?â you say. âAre you going to do the same, or are you just all talk?â
He smiles at you and it warms you to the very tips of your toes. You could bask in that smile like a cat in a sunbeam.
âIâm starting to fade a bit myself,â he says
âVery convenient,â you say and he grins at you.
âCome on, Iâll see you back home.â
Part of you wants to protestâthereâs really no need for him to walk you homeâbut a larger, louder part of you wants to let it be, prolong the magic of tonight for just a little longer.
Thereâs a comfortable silence between the two of you as you walk out of the office together.Â
âWhat time do you think youâre going to come in tomorrow?â he asks as you approach the residential wing. âItâs probably sensible to coordinate our efforts a bit.â
âYeah, thatâs a good point,â you say. âI was thinking nine, but that will be dependent on how much coffee I have.â
âYes, about that,â he says. âI cannot stand idly by and watch you torture yourself with vending machine coffee.â
âWell, the cafeteria will be open, so I was going to torture myself with cafeteria coffee, which is at least thirty percent less over brewed.â
He clicks his tongue. âYouâre not making a compelling case for yourself.â
âTo be fair, itâs quite late and Iâve been staring at files for hours.â
âAll the more reason to get decent coffee,â he says. âWeâre going out for breakfast.â
You raise an eyebrow. âOh, we are?â
âConsider it an intervention,â he says. âIâll come collect you at eight.â
Youâre not quite sure if this is just his natural confidence and swagger coming through or if heâs flirting with you and this counts as a date.
âWhere are we going?â
âI know a place.â
*
The place in question turns out to be a food cart in Central Park in 1998.
âShould I even bother asking if you have supervisor approval for this?â you say, looking skeptically at the time door glimmering before you.
Loki scoffs. âI donât have a supervisor.â
âYou do. Itâs Mobius.â
âThat canât be right, weâre peers.â
âYouâre absolutely not. Did you read any of the onboarding materials?â
He ignores your question. âI donât see why Iâd even need a supervisor, honestly.â
You snort. âNeed I remind you of what happened at the Nixon inauguration?â
He spreads his hands in front of him. âItâs not my fault that Iâm the only one with a sense of humor.â
âIâm not entirely sure that was the problem,â you say. âGerald Ford is never going to be the same, from what I understand.â
Loki waves a dismissive hand. âHeâll be fine, the tail isnât permanent. Now, are you coming or not?â
You roll your eyes at him and make a halfhearted complaint about proper protocol, but you know that youâre walking through that time door and not looking back. You knew that before he even posed the question.
The food cart is owned by a man named Samir who has a wide smile and booming laugh. He talks to Loki like heâs a friend and he tells you that you have the prettiest eyes heâs ever seen. You are fairly certain heâs exaggerating, but you stuff a few extra bills into the tip jar anyway.
âI canât believe you fell for that,â says Loki as you walk away, each carrying a coffee and a brown paper bag with a breakfast sandwich.
âFell for what?â you say, batting your eyes at him. âI do have beautiful eyes.â
âIâve heard him say that on at least thirty separate occasions.â
âYeah, but this time he really meant it. I could tell.â
He rolls his eyes and leads you to a park bench overlooking a wide, grassy field. The leaves are just starting to change and the air has a little bit of a bite to it.Â
You sit down on the bench and take a sip of your coffee.
âIt is good coffee, Iâll give you that,â you say.
âSee,â says Loki, âyou canât go back to that vending machine sludge after this.â
âI mean, if itâs eleven oâclock at night and Iâm on a deadline, I can.â
âDarling. You have a TemPad.â
âLoki. Read the personnel manual.â
He wrinkles his nose. âItâs not really my genre.â
You roll your eyes and take out your breakfast sandwich. âWhat is your genre?â
He raises an eyebrow. âIs that a serious question?â
âOf course it is,â you say. âI love talking about books.â
He gives you a slight smile and takes a sip of his coffee. âA little bit of everything, honestly,â he says. âPhilosophy. Magical theory. History. Politics. Anything from Asgard, really, though it can be a bit more challenging getting some of those titles.â
âIâve had pretty good luck with the Library of the Sacred Timelineâhave you checked there yet?â
He frowns. âIâm not familiar.â
âOh, youâd like itâitâs on the eighteenth floor. Itâs intended to be a collection of the greatest works of literature from as many branches of the timeline as possible,â you say. âIt started as a research project, but people liked it and it just kind of evolved into this huge collection. Theyâve actually got a pretty sizeable collection of books from Asgard.â
Itâs like youâve told him that his personal paradise had been located on the eighteenth floor this entire time. âWill you show me?â
He is practically vibrating with the sort of anticipatory, manic energy that you typically would associate with Christmas morning right before you tear into presents. Itâs sweetly endearing.
âOf course.â
Ten minutes later, youâre leading him through the winding hallways on the eighteenth floor. Youâre not surprised he hasnât heard about the libraryâitâs a bit out of the way and the eighteenth floor is so poorly designed that itâs not terribly easy to find.
The design of the library is a sharp departure from the rest of the TVA. The shelves and floors are made of the kind of dark mahogany that you typically see in the kind of estates that look like something directly out of a Jane Austen novel. Worn oriental rugs muffle your footsteps on the creaky wood floors and the air smells faintly of dust and paper.
Thereâs a subtle change in Loki when you walk through the doorsâalmost like a muscle in his shoulders finally relaxes and he seems truly at home for the first time since he arrived.
You touch his hand. âThis way.â
You lead him into the stacks, back to the far corner, right after the books from Alfheim.
âYou can borrow whichever ones you like,â you say softly. âThereâs a sign out sheet at the front desk.â
He nods, though you donât think he really hears youâhe only has eyes for the shelves, his gaze sweeping across the spines like theyâre old friends. Youâre about to excuse yourself to give him a little privacy when his brow furrows and he exhales sharply. âOh, you canât be serious.â
âWhat is it?â
They have the entirety of the finest Asgardian literature at their disposal. Untold centuries of the writings of our greatest mindsââ he plucks a book off the shelf, ââand they choose to include this?â
The title looks fairly innocuousâa red, leather bound book with the title The Cloistered Heart embossed in gold script on the front. You take the book from him and open it. âWhatâs the problem with this?â
âItâs inconsequential fluff, literary pablum of the highest order.â
This is the Loki that youâre more familiar with and a smile curls at your lips. Almost on cue, you flip the book open to a chapter titled âThe Wedding and Bedding of Aloisa.â
You bite back a laugh and look up at him. âItâs a romance novel.â
âPrecisely my point,â he says. âTo think that this is on the same shelf as Nielsen and Auber.â
âThatâs kind of how libraries work,â you say, flipping further into the book. The phrases âthrobbing lengthâ and âeager moansâ draw your eye and you have to tamp down another laugh. âOh, and itâs a sexy romance novel.â
âIt appeals to the lowest common denominator, yes.â
âWhat, so youâre too good for a bodice ripper?â
He scoffs. âI prefer to do the bodice ripping myself, not read some overwrought description of it.â
You are glad youâre looking at the book because youâre pretty sure youâd disintegrate if you had to make eye contact with him while he delivered that line. âOh spare me,â you say lightly, snapping the book shut and drawing it to your chest. âIâm gonna read this.â
He blows out a puff of air. âItâs a waste of your time.â
âIâve got lots of time, I can afford to waste it,â you say cheekily. âBesides, Iâm curious to see what kind of book turns the god of mischief into a pearl clutching prude.â
Loki sputters. âPrude? Darling, let me assure you, Iâm no prudeââ
âIâll leave you to browse,â you say with a grin as you turn away from him. âCome find me at the front when youâre ready to go.â
Youâre a few chapters into the book when Loki rejoins you at the front of the library, a small stack of books tucked under his arm.
You close your book with a snap. âThis book is a delight. I think your real issue is just that youâre no fun.â
He scoffs. âIâm very fun.â
âCouldâve fooled me.â
You bicker playfully back and forth as you check out your books and leave the library. A quick glance at your watch tells you that you spent much more time there than youâd planned. You canât quite bring yourself to worry about that, though, not with the memory of Lokiâs wonderstruck expression burning so bright in your mind.
Thereâs a bit of a lull in the conversation as you wait for the elevator.
âThank you,â he says softly.
âFor what?â
âFor showing me that.â
âOf course. Iâm sorry you didnât know about it sooner.â
He looks at you, lips parting slightly like heâs about to say something. His tongue swipes briefly over his bottom lip and you would swear that his gaze drops to your mouth for just a second.
For just a secondâone heady, slightly irrational secondâyou think he might be about to kiss you.
The ding of the elevator arriving breaks the spell, startling you just a little. You run a hand through your hair, trying to give off the impression of composure even as your heart beats wildly in your chest.
Loki gestures to the elevator doors. âAfter you.â
There is a group of analysts in the elevator already, chatting animatedly and completely obliterating any chance you may have had at recapturing that moment.
You try not to dwell too much in contemplating what ifs or timeline branchesâoften, it feels too much like work, something Mobius might assign you.
But you know that the possibility of that momentâwhat if the elevator had been a hair slower, what if those analysts had taken a different route, what if you were braverâyou know thatâs something thatâs going to haunt you for a while.
*
You wouldnât give up that time in the library for anythingâitâs one of those moments that feels formative, something that youâll return to again and again for one reason or another.
But itâs also true that itâs time that you probably could have used for sorting files and as Saturday ticks on, you canât help but wish you had a way to pull another hour out of somewhere.
âWeâre not going to be able to make this deadline, are we?â you say with a sigh.
Itâs getting late into the evening and the cart of files still to be sorted still remains depressingly full, despite the fact that youâd brought both lunch and dinner back to your desk so you could continue working.
Loki eyes the remaining files. âI think we might. We made good progress today.â
You rub your eyes. âMy brain feels like itâs about to leak out my ears.â
Loki takes the file you are working on and sets it back in the stack of unsorted files. âI think that might be a sign itâs time to turn in,â he says.
âThereâs still so much left.â
âThereâs still tomorrow.â
You reach for the file. âWell, let me justââ
He pulls your hand away from the pile. âYou can come back to it in the morning. Besides, if youâre this tired, youâre not going to do good work anyway.â
He squeezes your hand and drops it. Itâs brief enough to still be friendly, but unusual enough to make you wonder and send your mind racing back to that moment by the elevator.
You shake the thought away. Itâs late and youâre tired.
You heave a world weary sigh and slump back in your chair. âI hate it when youâre right.â
To his credit, he only smirks a little. âCome on. Iâll walk you back.â
Once again, thereâs no reason for him to do this, but once again, youâre inclined to let him.
You pack up for the evening and walk out of the office side by side. Youâre trying very hard not to think about the fact that this is likely the last night that youâll do this, that tomorrow the assignment will be over.
As you near the residential wing, you start to hear distant shouts. If you inhale deeply, you catch a very faint whiff of explosivesâyouâre not sure what kind.
âI think someone brought work home,â you say with a sigh.Â
This happens from time to timeâthings get out of hand in the field or something happens when retrieving an asset or a target and all hell breaks loose at the TVA. Mobius had once referred to it as âbringing work homeâ and the name had stuck.
âWasnât there an incident in this wing not long ago?â asks Loki.
âYes.â You sigh, running a hand through your hair. âI had to call off the next dayâI got no sleep that night.â You listen carefully, trying to determine the source of the noise and the status of the problem. âBut maybe itâs almost over,â you say with an optimism you donât fully feel. âSometimes these things are resolved really quick.â
Your heart continues to sink the closer you come to your home. The acrid burn of explosives only increases and you think you catch the low, dull roar of something not quite human.
And indeed, when you turn the final corner, you are immediately stopped by an electric blue barrier being monitored by a hunter. G-21âyouâve worked with her on a couple of missions before.
âAre you fucking kidding me?â slips out of your mouth before you can stop yourself.
âThereâs an ongoing incident in this area,â says G-21 and you almost want to laugh because no shit.Â
âHow long do you think itâs gonna be closed off?â you ask.
She shrugs. âWeâre at a code 54 right now, but itâs probably gonna escalate.â
With pitch perfect timing and before you can even try to remember what a code 54 means, thereâs an almighty crash and a low bellow.
âGo!â she yells before running toward the commotion amid frantic calls for backup.
Loki is grabbing your wrist and pulling you into a run.
Your standard issue work shoes are comfortable enough on a day to day basis, but you certainly want to have words with whoever decided that leather soled shoes with absolutely no grips were a good choice for a building floored almost entirely in linoleum. In a low stakes situation, itâs meant occasionally you wipe out in the cafeteria and hurt nothing but your pride. In this situation, it means that Lokiâs firm grip on your hand is the only thing keeping you upright.
But thereâs a small mercy in that while you can still hear distant crashes and shrieks, whatever is happening down that hallway doesnât seem to be following you and eventually, you both slow to a brisk walk and Loki drops your hand.
You havenât even had a chance to consider where you are going to sleep tonight. You could probably curl up on that terrible couch in the office and just plan on getting up early enough to run back to your place for a quick shower and a change of clothesâŠassuming the incident resolves by thenâ
âYou can stay with me,â says Loki, as though he can hear you trying to sort this out.
âOh, thatâs okay, Iâll justââ
âIf you say youâre going to sleep on that terrible couch in the office, I will personally take you to the most boring governmental proceeding I can find and leave you there until you come to your senses.â
âSounds like a great place to fall asleep,â you say.
His eyes glint, but his tone brooks no arguments. âYouâre staying with me tonight.â
You sigh, but you canât think of a counterpoint. âWhen did you get so bossy?â
âDarling, Iâm a prince,â he says with a bit of a wry smirk. âItâs my birthright.â
Loki lives on the opposite end of the residential wing and his place looks quite a bit like yoursâheâs got an extra window in the kitchen but the floor plan is otherwise the same. A lot of his furniture is standard issue, but there are little details that make it seem more personal: an area rug with a bit of fraying on the edges, a painting of what you think is an Asgardian landscape, a vase filled with dried flowers so delicate they look like they might disintegrate if you were to touch them. And booksâso many books. Books on shelves, stacked on the coffee table, tucked into the little rack that you know is meant to hold magazines. Hardbacks, paperbacks, leather bound, dog-eared, well-worn and brand new. Itâs no wonder he was so excited about the library.
âHave a seat,â he says, gesturing to the couch. âIâll get some things for you.â
You sit down and he disappears down the hall. You idly examine the books stacked on the end table next to you. Many are quite clearly from Asgard and it sparks a pang of sympathyâitâs like his homesickness is on full display in his living room and thereâs something sweet and sad about seeing that vulnerability laid so bare.
He returns a few minutes later with a pair of pajamas, a toothbrush, and a hand towel.
âHere,â he says, handing you the pile. âBathroomâs just down the hall. Iâll make up a bed for you.â
âThanks.â
In the bathroom, you realize that the pajamas heâs given you arenât the standard set you can order from the TVA. These are made of a dark emerald silk that ripples over your skin like water, and somehow, that makes it feel a thousand times more personal than if heâd loaned you a standard set. They donât fit quite right on you, but theyâll work well enough for tonight.
You brush your teeth and attempt to get through as much of your evening routine as you can before collecting your clothes and exiting the bathroom.
When you return to the living room, you expect to find that heâs made up a bed for you on the couch. These living units only have one bedroomâit would be quite reasonable to have you sleep on the couch.
You do not expect to find a pajama clad Loki stretched out reading on the couch, a blanket over his lap and his head propped up on a pillow like he intends to sleep there.
You exhale slowly. âPlease tell me you are not giving up your bed.â
âDonât be absurd, of course I am,â he says without even looking up from his book. âThe point of this was to prevent you from sleeping on a couch, not simply put you on a couch in a different location.â
You wish you had something to throw at him. âYou donât even fit on that couch.â
âLuckily, my knees bend. Besides, youâre a guest,â he says, as though that settles it.
You roll your eyes and plunk yourself down in the armchair across from the couch, setting your pile of clothes on the floor. âIâm not moving until you give up the couch.â
He finally looks up from his book. âYouâre really going to do this?â
You examine your fingernails, flicking away an invisible speck of dust. âIâm not the one being unreasonable. Iâm simply meeting you at your level.â
âIf you think that Iâm being unreasonable and youâre also saying youâre meeting me at my level, does that not mean you are admitting that you are being unreasonable?â
âItâs nearly one oâclock in the morning. Iâm not arguing semantics with you.â
âFine.â His eyes glimmer as he sets his book down and slowly rises to his feet. âBut youâre still not sleeping on the couch.â
âOh, youâre going to be so disappointed when you realize how wrong you are,â you say. You think you see your opening and you try to play it cool.
Heâs walking toward you, leaving your path to the couch wide open. In your head, you can see exactly how this works: youâll spring from your chair and dart around the coffee table before diving onto the couch like a baseball player sliding into home plate, soundly defeating Loki. Easy peasy.
Instead, what happens is that you spring to your feet and Loki moves with inhuman speed, grabbing you around your waist and pinning you to the front of his chest, stopping you in your tracks almost immediately.
âI suppose I should have expected that,â he says. Your back is facing him, but you can almost hear the dry, sardonic look heâs giving you.
âProbably,â you say. âGod of mischief and all.â You struggle fruitlessly against his iron grip. âYou can let me go now.â
He laughs. âIâm afraid I canât. It was clearly a mistake to trust you. I wonât be making that error again.â
âI donât know what youâre talking about,â you say, trying again to squirm away from him. âLet me go.â
âThe interesting thing about all of this is that youâve made a rather substantial tactical error,â he says, continuing as though he canât hear you.
âYouâre bluffing,â you say with more confidence than you feel.
âFascinating theory,â he says, âbut I donât think itâs going to work out for you.â
With that same ridiculous speed, heâs suddenly spinning you around and lifting you, tossing you easily over his shoulder.
âHey!â you shout in protest.
âI warned you,â he says, his voice full of mirth as he carries you toward the bedroom.
This is not exactly how youâve imagined being carried off to bed by Loki.
Though, admittedly, you do have a nice view of his ass.
âThis is ridiculous,â you say.
âYou brought this upon yourself.â Heâs walking into the bedroom and a moment later, heâs lifting you from his shoulder and tossing you unceremoniously onto his bed.
You scramble to your feet and try to lunge toward the door, but heâs clearly expecting that. Before your feet even hit the floor, he catches you around the waist and hauls you back to the bed. Your back hits the mattress and you try to leverage the momentum to propel yourself back onto your feet.
He catches you immediately and you find yourself back on the bed again.
âI donât mean to be patronizing,â he says, failing to bite back a laugh, âbut itâs adorable that you think you can outmaneuver me.â
That is deeply offensive and the only way you can earn my forgiveness is by letting me take my rightful place on the couch.â You canât quite keep the laugh from your voice.
He grins. âNot a chance.â
You attempt to dive off the opposite side of the bed, only to have him grab you by the ankles and pull you back. You manage to dislodge him and lunge in the opposite direction, only to be immediately thwarted.
It becomes increasingly hilarious the longer it goes on and soon your sides are aching from laughter. Loki is laughing too, but it doesnât seem to affect his strength or speed at all.
Eventually, he wrestles you back down onto the bed and you are fairly certain thereâs no way out of this oneâheâs got your wrists pinned above your head and his legs locked around yours. Youâre both a little out of breath.
âYield,â he says.
You shake your head. âNever.â
His gaze flicks to your lips and back to your eyes. âYield.â
âNo.â
Something has changed. Thereâs an electricity and intensity that crackles in the air between you, possibilities blooming in both of your gazes. It feels a little like that moment by the elevator, but youâre afraid to hope, afraid to even wish because the idea of him wanting you still feels as impossible as capturing smoke with a net.Â
But the way heâs looking at you, the way his gaze keeps drifting between your eyes and your lipsâŠthatâs not nothing.
âYield.â
You lick your lips, your heart beating wildly. âNo.â
Is it just your imagination, or did his breath hitch when you licked your lips?
âYield.â
God, heâs so close and you want him so badly.Â
âNo.â
He looks again at your lips and this time, he closes the distance between you.
They call him Silvertongueâyouâve heard the jokes, youâve rolled your eyes at all of them. But as he kisses you, you realize that thereâs an element of truth there because only seconds in and youâre ready to sign away your soul to live under the power of Lokiâs tongue. The slow, warm slide of it against yours, the way he guides your mouth against his, the way he lets out a soft sigh as he tastes youâyou would give up everything if it meant you could stay like this.
âYield,â he breathes against your lips.
âNo,â you say.
He deepens the kiss, catching your lower lip between his teeth and gently tugging until you whimper and arch against him.
He still has your hands pinned against the bed, his grip unyielding when you try to wrestle them away.
âLet me touch you,â you say when he draws back. You want to touch him everywhereârun your hands along every muscle youâve admired from afar.Â
âThen yield,â he says with a grin, his eyes flashing with devilish intent.
You consider this for a moment. You could give inâthere arenât really any stakes at this point and youâre pretty sure youâre both going to end up sleeping in his bed tonight anyway. But that glint of mischief in his eyes also promises some intriguing possibilities if you stand firm.
âNo,â you say.
âSuch a pity,â says Loki, though his expression is one of hungry delight.
His hands slip free of your wrists then, but they stay pinned to the bed by some invisible force.
âCheater,â you say.Â
âI think this is only fair,â he says, his hands sliding to your hips. âIâm clearly the victor, am I not entitled to my prize?â
You shiver. âYour prize?â
âYes.â He kisses down the column of your throat. âMy lovely, lovely prize.â
âHow can I be your prize if Iâm also your competitor?â
âYou think too much,â he mumbles against your neck.
âYou say that like itâs a bad thing.â
âGenerally, itâs not.â He sits back on his heels between your legs, looking you over with satisfaction. âBut in this case, itâs distracting you from more pressing matters.â His hands creep under the hem of your shirt, stroking the small of your back, thumbs tracing teasingly along the waistband of your pajama pants.Â
âHave I mentioned how much I enjoy seeing you in my clothes?â he asks. Thereâs a husky depth to his voice and a hunger in his eyes that sends a flood of arousal to your cunt.
âYou have not,â you say.
âA casualty of too much thinking,â he says solemnly, his thumbs gently grazing the skin at your hipbones. âYou look utterly delectable. I almost want to leave them on.â His eyes glitter with mischief. âAlmost.â His hand strays to the bottom button on your pajama top. âMay I?â
You nod. âYes.â
He slips the button free and slowly makes his way up until your shirt is open. He carefully pushes the fabric aside, baring your breasts to his sight and touch.
Youâve never felt more beautiful seeing Loki stare at you, lips slightly parted, eyes wide and hungry. He trails one hand up your stomach and rib cage and slowly brushes a thumb over your nipple. You gasp and the sensitive skin puckers and stiffens as he palms your breast, rolling your nipple between his thumb and forefinger.
âGorgeous,â he murmurs as he lowers his mouth to your breast, his tongue and lips taking up the role of his hand, while his other hand moves to cup your other breast. You whimper, wishing you could run your hands through his hair. âThatâs it,â he purrs, âI want to hear all the sounds you can make, my love.â
You rock your hips forward and arch your back as he lavishes attention on your breasts. Itâs the most delicious kind of torture, having him so close, but not being able to touch him.
Heâs taking his time, which you both love and hate. He feels so good, but you need him to touch you, you need to touch him, you need him inside of you. You wait until you canât take it any more and breathe his name like itâs a prayer.
You wonder if this is what he was waiting for because with little more than a brief smirk and a wicked look, he starts kissing his way back up your chest and neck. You whimper when his lips meet yours and you can feel him grin as he kisses you. He fits his hips against yours, angling himself so that his cock rubs up against your clit just right and you moan into his mouth. You can tell that heâs big and part of you wants to savor the anticipation even though you feel like you might go mad if he doesnât fuck you now. You rock your hips against him, trying to feel that friction.
His large hands frame your face, one hand sliding to cradle the back of your head so he can draw you deeper, the other trailing from your cheek to your throat.
Both hands soon stroke down your sides, lingering teasingly at the waistband of your pajama pants. He hooks his thumbs underneath the waistband and you lift your hips. He slides your pants down maybe an inch and you can feel him smiling as he kisses you. You lift your hips again and your waistband creeps down another inch.
âLoki.â His name falls from your lips with a sigh.
âWhat is it, my love?â
âTouch me,â you breathe. âPlease.â
You lift your hips again and this time, he pulls the fabric fully down and off your legs. He guides your legs apart and stares appreciatively at your bare cunt, his teasing expression replaced by a rapt awe.
âBeautiful,â he murmurs.Â
You believe him.
His hands stroke your thighs, seemingly in no hurry, despite your pleading whimpers and the way you arch against the mattress. He draws his thumb gently along your slit, barely grazing your clit.
âDo you know what an utter distraction itâs been sitting behind you?â he asks, tracing your clit in the slowest, lightest circle.
You arch upward, hands still bound by his magic. âTell me,â you breathe, your hips rising to chase his hand.
âEvery time you stood up, I could only think about bending you over the desk.â
You manage a sly smirk. âAnd here I thought you didnât like me much at all.â
His thumb presses a little more against your clit and you moan.
âIâve wanted you from the moment I saw you,â he says, rolling his thumb in a slow circle. âI kept you at armâs length partly as a matter of protection.â
For who?â
âYou,â he says. âIâm not fully redeemed in some eyes and you being involved with a dangerous variantââ
âYouâre not,â you say.
âSome would disagree.â
âWell, theyâre wrong,â you say. âYouâre not a dangerous variant. Youâre Loki Laufeyson and I want you just as you are.â
Thereâs something unreadable in his expression and it makes you wonder how many people have told him that he can just be himself.
âYou should be careful saying such lovely things to me, you know,â he says solemnly.
You raise an eyebrow. âOh really? And why is that?â
âBecause it makes me want to do very wicked things to you.â
Youâre surprised youâre not shaking, you want him so badly. âWhat kinds of wicked things?â
âOh, all manner of wicked things.â He presses a kiss to the inside of your knee, his tongue swiping briefly against your skin. âThings with my mouth...â His thumb rolls over your clit again, his index finger teasing your entrance before retreating. ââŠmy handsâŠâ He drags his gaze over your naked form before locking eyes with you. âMy cock.â
A shiver works its way up your spine. âSo if I talk about how I think youâre really clever and funny and I find it unbelievably sexy, what sort of wicked thing would that merit?â
The intensity of his gaze makes you shiver again. He crouches down and presses another kiss against the inside of your knee, slowly moving upward. âIf you keep talking like that, Iâm not going to let you leave my bed for days.â
âYou know thatâs not a disincentive, right?â you say, sucking in a sharp breath as he nips at the soft skin of your inner thigh. âIâve wanted you for such a long time, Loki.â
âIâll make it weeks if youâre not careful.â
âAgain, not a disincentive.â You gently tug at your bound wrists and find that theyâre still firmly secured. Itâs exhilarating, even though you really wish you could run your hands through his hair, especially if he ends up where you think heâs going.
âWhat else should I tell you?â you muse as he continues his agonizingly slow path along your thigh. âYou know, half the reason I kept to myself was that I wanted you so much I was certain that Iâd make a fool of myself.â
That earns you a few circles of your clit with his thumb, but his progress up your thigh remains slow. You have a theory about what might move the needle, though.
âI know you like to act like youâre this sort of barely reformed villain, but I think thereâs more good in you than youâd like people to believe.â
This time, he moves up to the crease where your thigh joins your hip, close enough that you can feel the heat of his breath ghosting along your labia. His tongue traces a line along your skin and you briefly wonder if youâll be able to hold it together enough to deliver the last part.
âAnd,â you say, trying to keep your voice steady, âyesterday and today made me want you even more because I feel like I finally saw who you really are and youâre even more wondââ
Your words abruptly give way to a breathy moan because his perfect, skilled tongue has finally found its way to your clit.
You had a plan from here, but whatever it was has dissolved into nothing under the skilled caress of Lokiâs tongue. You suspected he would be good at this from the way that heâd kissed you earlier, but you could not have imagined that it would feel like this.
âOh my god, Loki.â Your thighs are already quaking. You tug again at the invisible bonds on your wrists, but they hold fast. Something about the way the bonds are keeping you gently stretched along the bed combined with how his large hands have your thighs spread open seems to heighten every sensation. Thereâs no wiggling away from him or adjusting yourself so that you feel more or less of the onslaught of his tongue on your cunt. You are completely at his mercy and youâre not entirely surprised that you fucking love it.
He slides a finger into your aching channel and your cunt shudders around the thick intrusion. The warm, roiling center of your orgasm starts builds in your hips with every stroke of his tongue, spinning faster and faster, like ocean winds whipping up into a hurricane. Your back arches and his tongue presses flat against your clit, and suddenly you know that this is going to be what takes you over the edge.
Loki seems to know it too, at least from the way that he presses his tongue more firmly against you, one arm slung across your hips to hold you in place. His other hand slides two fingers inside you, rocking and curling against that aching, tender spot.
You whimper, your hips bucking wildly. Itâs so good and so much and you are almost there.
You look down at him then, his hair wild, hollowed cheeks flushed pink as his tongue works you over, his eyes closed like he couldnât imagine anything more blissful than being in between your legs while you come undone.
This is ultimately what tips you over the edge. The storm that has been forming inside you is finally let loose and you arch your back and cry out in a wordless scream as your climax crashes into you.
Only then do the bonds around your wrists release and your hands fly down to grab his hair as your body shakes with pleasure.
It takes a moment for you to get your breath back and reacquaint yourself with the concept of speech, but when you do, you find Loki looking up at you, his expression pure mischief.
âAnd to think you wanted to sleep on the couch.â
âIt wasnât that I wanted to sleep on the couch, itâs thatââ Your voice cuts off as his tongue starts stroking your clit again.
âItâs what?â he asks in between strokes, his smirk obvious in his voice. The lingering ripples of your orgasm are coalescing around the path of his tongue, tightening that coil in your belly again.
âFuckâyouâre not playing fair, you canât justââ You lose your sentence to a low moan that rises up from your chest. âYou canât justâfuck, yesâyou canâtâŠoh god, yes, just like that.â
His laughter rumbles against you as your hips start rocking against his mouth. How are you already so close?
âYou canât justâfuckâwin an argument byââ
Youâre trying to say that he canât expect to win an argument by making you come and you think he might understand this based on how determined he seems to be to prove you wrong. His fingers curl again until he finds that soft, tender spot that is so often the key to your unraveling.
You have stopped trying to complete that sentenceâyou moan, your hands tangling in his hair, urging him on as the swell of your climax rushes up, inevitable as a tidal wave looming over a seaside village.
You cry out as it crests and breaks, falling down over you in a rush of tingling pleasure that feels like champagne and fireworks all at once.
âNow, what was it you were saying, my love?â he asks as he releases your clit a moment later. âSomething about how I canât just win an argument by making you come? I couldnât quite hear you over the sound of you coming completely undone on my tongue.â
âOh, you think youâre so smart,â you say, giving him a stern look as he crawls up your body.
âYou know what I think?â he says, settling himself on his side next to you. âI think you liked submitting to me.â
You shiver before you can even think about hiding it and his smile turns decidedly vulpine.Â
âYou did, didnât you? You liked having your hands bound and being completely at my mercy while I licked your pretty cunt until you came undone in my mouth.â
âYou are enjoying this far too much,â you say.
âI am enjoying it the correct amount.â
You realize your hands are now free to explore his body and you tug at his pajama shirt. âI think youâre wearing too many clothes,â you say.
He gives you a wicked grin as he lets you pull his shirt over his head. âYes, perhaps itâs time we even things up.â
You pull the shirt away and rake your eyes over him greedily, your hands following the path of your gaze. He is as perfect as you imagined, unfairly beautiful in the dim light of the bedroom.
You hook your thumbs into the waistband of his pajama pants and lower them an inch, a cheeky parallel of how he teased you earlier. His lips curl into a sharp smile when he realizes what youâre doing.
âInteresting strategy.â Thereâs a bit of a growl in his voice, a rough desperation that makes your cunt clench. âBut I think you forgot that I have the upper hand here.â
He raises his hand and with a twist of his wrist, his remaining clothes dissolve in a shimmer of green and he is bare before you.
Your breath catches in your throat. His cock commands your immediate attention, nudging up against your thighâheâs big, as you suspected, but completely bare and rock hard, he somehow seems longer and thicker than he had when he was grinding against you.
He pulls you into a slow kiss as you reach for his cock. You wrap your hand around him, delighting in the silky hardness of him, the way he throbs in your hand and the low groan he makes as your hand moves from base to tip and back, the way his hips thrust along with you. Your cunt clenches in anticipation.
After a moment, though, he places his hand over yours, slowing your movements.
âI need to be inside you,â he rasps.
âYes,â you breathe.
He rolls on top of you and youâre not sure that youâve ever felt anything quite as wonderful as the heat of his bare skin and yours pressed together. This feeling means intimacy, a closeness that youâd longed for but never expected even in your wildest daydreams.
He pulls you into a kiss, slow, soft, and languid, like you have all the time in the world and he intends to take it. Itâs decadent and dreamy and perfect.
But the heavy weight of his bare cock resting against your stomach combined with the ache between your legsâan ache that would be so perfectly soothed by the hard column of flesh currently throbbing against youâproves to be a force too powerful to resist for very long.
You cant your hips against him, snaking one leg around his waist, hoping heâll get the hint.
He does.
He braces himself on one hand, the other sliding between your bodies to rub his cock along your slick folds. He positions himself at your entrance, waiting for your breathy plea to begin to ease himself slowly into you.
He fills and stretches you in the most wonderful way, but even more than that, he feels like home. The thought strikes you quite suddenly and youâre not entirely sure about everything it means, but you know itâs good and right.
He pauses for just a moment, seeming to savor the feeling.
âYou feel better than I ever imagined,â he says.
You quirk an eyebrow at him. âYou imagined?â
He gives you a hungry smile as he leans in to kiss you. âLike I said: it has been an utter distraction sitting behind you.â
His rhythm is slow and easy, like he wants to take his time learning every inch of you and memorizing how you react to his touch. His mouth moves over yours in a slow kiss thatâs somehow both languid and demanding, his tongue gliding in and out of your mouth in the same rhythm of his hips rocking into you. His cock bumps up against that sweet spot inside of you that his fingers had teased earlier, each stroke inching you closer to bliss.
He shifts the angle of his hips so that his pubic bone grinds against your clit and it feels so good you almost see stars. You can feel your orgasm building, your cunt growing slicker and tensing around his thrusting cock.
He draws back to look at you, eyes hazy with a loose, dreamy kind of pleasure.
âDo you have any idea how good you feel?â he breathes.
You are shaking. âLoki, Iâm gonna come.â
âI know you are,â he purrs. âLet go for me, let me feel you, my love.â
With two more thrusts of his hips, you unravel.
He groans as you tremble around him, but mostly, he watches your face, rapt by the way you throw your head back against the bed and gasp his name like itâs the only thing that will save you.
âYouâre beautiful when you come,â he breathes. âAbsolutely stunning.â
He waits until you catch your breath before he kisses you again, slow and sensual. His hips are still rocking in that beautifully slow rhythm and you donât know how it can still feel so good.
He keeps moving against you, his touch and his low murmurs of praise invoking a symphony of sensations. He presses deeper and your body sings with every thrust, your muscles tensing and tightening around him like you never want him to leave. Your climax swells again and you come with a whimper, your whole body shaking as he fucks you through it.
You want him to come, want to hear the sounds he makes and feel his sweet, hot release burning inside of you.
âI want you to come for me,â you breathe.
He grins at you. âOh, I will, but not yet. Youâre not done yet.â
You whimper. âLokiââ
âTwo more, my love, two more and then Iâll come for you.â
Somehow, you give him three. By the second one, heâs panting and his words have become rough, his voice a growl as he utters some of the filthiest praise youâve ever heard. The third builds quickly after that and you know instinctively that youâre going to take him over the edge with you this time.
You fight to keep your eyes open against the tidal wave of pleasure blooming again in your hips. You need to see him come undone.
As in everything else he does, heâs unfairly beautifulâhe throws his head back, letting out a low groan that you can feel all the way to the tips of your toes. His cheeks are flushed, a few ink dark curls plastered to the light sheen of sweat on his forehead. You can feel him emptying himself inside you, his release hot and hard won.
It seems to last a long time and itâs another minute before his hips slow to a halt. He kisses you, so soft and sweet it would almost seem chaste were it not for the fact that his cock is still throbbing inside of you.
After a moment, he slowly eases out of you, rolling over onto his back, his arm snaking around your waist and pulling you to him like he canât bear to be parted from you even for a moment.
You curl up against his side, your legs tangling with his. He takes your hand, lacing his fingers with yours before resting your clasped hands on his heart.
You could fall in love like this, you think sleepily to yourself.
You donât know it then, but youâre right.
*
Time moves differently at the TVA, but a couple years later, thereâs a ring in a box on your desk.
Loki likes a spectacle and youâd daydreamed about a traditional wedding, but when you talk it over, you both agree that you want to do something different, something quiet, something just for the two of you.
âI do think we should tell Mobius beforehand,â you say to Loki.
âIsnât the point of eloping that no one knows until after itâs done?â says Loki.
âYes, but I feel like we could make one exception,â you say. âIf weâd done a full wedding, I would have asked him to give me away.â
Lokiâs gaze softens a bit then and he pulls you close. âAll right. But we only tell him right before we leave. The man canât keep a secret.â
But Mobius doesnât seem terribly surprised when you tell himâin fact, he seems far more concerned about your wedding gift.
âI didnât have a chance to wrap it yet,â he says. Heâs retrieved a large picture frame that had been propped against his desk, though he keeps it turned away from you. âSoâŠthis also requires a bit of an overdue confession for context.â
You raise your eyebrows. âA confession?â
âA confession,â says Mobius.
âWill I be angry about this?â asks Loki at the same time you say, âIs this like a go to jail confession or a misdemeanor confession?â
Mobius gives a good natured chuckle, shaking his head slightly. âGod, the two of you. Always so dramatic. No wonder you ended up together.â He takes what feels like an unnecessarily long drink from the coffee mug on his desk. âItâs not bad, I promise.â Another sip of coffee.Â
Loki sighs. âHe always does this,â he says to you. âHave you noticed? Whenever he has something that you want to know, he stalls and drags it out just to torment you.â
âOkay,â you say, âbut you jumping in to bicker with him probably doesnât help.â
âIâm not bickering,â says Loki. âIâm simply pointing out that heâs stallingââ
âWhat was it you were saying, Mobius?â you say brightly, nudging Loki with your elbow.
Mobiusâ eyes twinkle. âSee,â he says to Loki, âI always liked her. Itâs a good match.â
You donât have to look at Loki to know heâs rolling his eyes, though he also makes a point of surreptitiously pinching your ass, a detail you hope Mobius doesnât notice.
âAnyway,â says Mobius, taking a deep breath, âit was pretty clear to me from the start that you liked each other. And you also seemed absolutely determined to get in your own way.â He points to Loki. âEspecially you with your whole stilted Asgardian prince thing.â
Loki frowns. âWhat are you talking about?â
Mobius sighs. âAnytime you like someone, itâs like your brain gets a factory reset and you get all overly polite and courtly.â
Loki scoffs. âI donât do that at all.â
âYou do. Itâs deeply weird. Youâre like a mannerly robot.â
Loki turns to you. âDarling, tell him heâs being absurd.â
You reach over and squeeze his hand. âYou did call me âmy ladyâ a couple of times in the early days.â
Loki sighs and looks back at Mobius. âWhat was your point in mentioning this?â
âWell,â says Mobius, âyou seemed pretty determined to get in your own way, so nothing was happening. And eventually I got sick of all of the pining, so I decided to take matters into my own hands.â
âWhat do you mean?â
Mobius pauses, a hint of a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. âThere wasnât a breakthrough with Berlitz that weekend. What there was was a surplus in the overtime budget and a high priority indexing project for Archives.â
Your lips part as your brain slowly puts the pieces together. Mobiusâ eyes twinkle.
âWait,â you say, âyou lied to us?â
âI did not lie,â says Mobius, his demeanor suddenly becoming very serious. âThat would have been wrong.â He nods at Loki. âAlso, it wouldâve tipped him off and that would have ruined the whole thing. I simply failed to mention that the cart of files that I gave you needed to be sorted for indexing for the Archives department and I peppered in a couple of unrelated things about Berlitz.â
âBut the office was empty that weekend,â says Loki.
Mobius snaps his fingers. âRight. I did make some adjustments to the schedule that weekend.â
âAnd the disturbance that prevented her from returning home on Saturday night?â
Mobius spreads his hands wide and grins. âAll me, buddy. Paid G-21 five hundred bucks for that one.â
Loki pauses for a moment and then looks at you. âI donât think I can be mad about this. Iâm genuinely impressed.â
âI mean, I canât argue with the results, but Jesus, Mobius, you couldâve just set us up on a blind date,â you say.
âAh, but thatâs not as fun,â Mobius says. âPlus, it wouldnât have made for as good a wedding gift.â He turns the frame around and hands it to you both.
Itâs both your timecards from that pay period, neatly framed side by side. Your eyes well with tears and Mobius smiles.
âHonestly, Iâm just relieved itâs not a jet ski,â says Loki.
âHe's deflecting,â you say to Mobius in an exaggerated whisper.
âI know,â he whispers back.
But you canât help but notice that Lokiâs eyes are brighter than normal.
âOkay, now get out of here,â says Mobius. âYouâve got a wedding to get to.â
Twenty minutes later, youâre wearing a simple white dress and standing with Loki in front of a time door, your hand clasped in his.
âTechnically, we donât have a supervisorâs approval for this,â you say with a wry smile.
He looks at you, eyes dancing with mirth. âI had Mobius sign off on the paperwork while you were getting ready.â
Your heart swells and your smile is so wide that you feel like your face might split in two. âThen hurry up and marry me, Laufeyson.â
He grins and tugs you through the time door.
-------
But wait! There's more: I don't have a masterlist for this, but if you enjoy these idiots, check out Daylight, a sort of sequel.
#loki smut#loki x reader#loki x reader smut#loki laufeyson smut#loki x female reader smut#loki x female reader#loki laufeyson#loki fanfiction#loki fanfic#tva loki x reader
7K notes
·
View notes