#Nothing - Catie Turner

[awesomewithoutme]

If you wanna understand me, you have to listen to this song.

[saltair-and-webweaves]

It's a sign of the times

alternately titled: an extremely self indulgent web weave with no clear theme other than my current (very jumbled) feelings

@ryebreadgf/twin size mattress, the front bottoms/I am the architect of my own destruction, juansen dizon/sylvia plath/ @jaggedjawjosh/unknown/my spotify playlist/waiting room, phoebe bridgers/ @body-to-flame/nothings new, rio romeo/last words of a shooting star, mitski/unknown/sylvia plath/god must hate me, catie turner/sign of the times, harry styles

[evolnoomym]

The Night We Met🌠/Pt.2

Dbf!Joel Miller x f!reader

Pt. 1 🌌 | Main Masterlist | Joel Miller Masterlist

Summary: You return to Texas after being gone for 5 months.

Rating: 18+ content mdni!!!!(there’s nothing explicit, still I want the minors to stay away.)

Word count: 2.5k

Warnings: no use of y/n, pregnancy, female reader, reader has no name only a nickname, size difference, loss of a loved one, grief, food and eating are mentioned, age gap,

If I missed anything please let me know 🙏🏻

Authors note: The part 2 some of you wanted, hopefully you’ll like it 🫶🏻

Shoutout to @thecutestgrotto and @cafekitsune for the dividers 💙

Disclaimer: English is not my first language so if you come across mistakes it might be due to that(and me being high). I’m totally here for constructive criticism or feedback on how to improve. In general I appreciate comments, likes and reblogs greatly 🌠🫶🏻

+Bonus at the end 🥰

Song’s I listened to while writing:

To Build A Home - The Cinematic Orchestra, Patrick Watson

Twins - Gem Club

Space Song - Beach House

Silver Soul - Beach House

Santa Monica Dream - Angus & Julia Stone

Sunset Lover - Petit Biscuit

Big Jet Plane - Angus & Julia Stone

you. - Oscar Lang

Home - Catie Turner

I would - Torri Weidinger

Hearing - Sleeping At Last

My Love Mine All Mine - Mitski

I miss you, I’m sorry - Gracie Abrams

Everywhere - Fleetwood Mac

* 5 months later *

You haven’t been in this place ever since leaving all those months ago. So much has changed for you. The sickening feeling you used to get when entering didn’t seem to return once you stepped onto the property. Now as you sit across from him, it does not feel as if you’re being torn apart by each second you spend here, perhaps it’s also because you have a little helper to make this less painful. 

His grave looks just like you remember and once you sat down you noticed that somebody must’ve taken care of it in your absence. Your favorite flowers are placed on top- blue chrysanthemums. 

It’s a beautiful warm spring day, birds chirping in the distance, sunshine warming up your skin, fresh breeze blowing through your hair and finally more color being added to the scenery. 

You smile softly because it’s a good day and you’re happy to see him. 

And as some sort of Déjà vu, a father comes walking down the dirt path with his daughter and the little girl is cheerfully giggling while taking in all the beautiful flowers adorning the graves. 

When the girl reaches the blue chrysanthemums she lets out a stunned gasp, it seems like she might have never seen those flowers in her life before. 

When her dad spots you he immediately starts apologizing profusely for his daughter’s behavior but you let him know that it’s more than welcome and you think to yourself how the little girl reminds you of the past. 

When they are out of sight you start laughing and then say “You Funny old men, sending me a sign aren’t you? Thank you Papa.” He’s still here, always with you and he was even when you were so far away. 

(Flashback beginning )

The first few weeks were rough for you, so incredibly far away from what was supposed to be home and with Joel’s distraught face burned into your memory. 

Luckily Sunny was there to catch you in the darkest moments, if it wasn’t for her you wouldn’t have made it. 

When you called her out of sheer desperation and told her you’d need to be somewhere far away, Sweet Sunny, without thinking about it, offered to take you in. 

The flight over there was incredibly stressful for you but seeing Sunny’s face once she picked you up from the airport made it all worth it. 

She had to treat you like a wounded animal, cooking your favorite meals, taking you for walks around the pastures, massages when the back pain flared up again and when nothing helped just sitting with you through the agony. 

Sunny is your childhood Bestfriend, you were born on the same day just 4 years apart, you have the same interests and the same dislikes. Your dad always called you Sunny and Moon. Two Inseparable forces. 

The time with Sunny and the change of scenery was healing. You went to yoga with her, took trips to Costco, she took you to the local aquarium, the butterfly garden and to the beach.  

When the time came to fly back home you were sad but Sunny promised to visit once it’s time. 

(Flashback over)

It was a week ago that your plane touched down in Texas, it felt so strange being back in the town you so hastily left. 

Once you landed Joel was all you could think about, is he okay, does he look different, did he move, did he find someone new or is he still waiting for you?

You’ve seen the countless messages he sent you over the months, yet you couldn’t find the courage to answer him you would’ve felt like a liar. You felt terrible for not holding up your end of the bargain.

After sleeping in the motel for a week you finally, especially after talking to your Dad, feel empowered enough to go see Joel again. 

You had stopped once on the drive towards Joel’s house, due to raging nausea, you are incredibly nervous sitting in the parked car in front of his home. 

It still looks exactly the same as when you disappeared, nothing changed about it. 

It takes a few more minutes before you get out of the car. You have to take a couple deep breaths and wipe your shaking sweaty palms off on your long black stretchy skirt that you decided to wear combined a black ribbed tank top. 

The outfit looks good and is the most comfortable for you in this state.

Your knees are weak on the steps up to the house, the fluttering in your belly gets continuously worse the closer you get to the front door and when you knock on the door you’re close to passing out. 

The seconds you have to wait feel like hours. In reality it’s only seconds and when the door opens time seems to stand still, there he is Joel Miller in all his glory. 

His eyes scan your face in frantic disbelief and his mouth makes him look like a fish fresh outta water. 

You try to take control of the situation “H…hi Joel.” It’s simple but you’re just as stunned. 

You can see his eyes turn glassy “No Joel, no tears come on, you gonna make me cry too.” You try to say it in a cheerful way but the words end in a quiet whisper. 

“Y…you- you’re back? Am I….dreamin?” He stammers clearly unconvinced. You nod gently and reach with your hand for his face, when your warm soft palm touches his scruffy cheek his eyes fall shut and the tears start rolling down his cheeks. 

His lips are trembling, as if your touch hurts him. “Joel, I…I’m so sorry.” At that he opens his eyes again and to your surprise he does not look mad, though he’d have all right to be. 

With his eyes still locked onto your face he asks “How…how long have ya been back?”

You turn away slightly and gesture behind you towards the car parked in front of the driveway. “I've been back for about a week, sleeping in that ranch motel and I was just at Dad’s grave when I thought about coming here.” When you turn back to face him his eyes are no longer on your face, but instead somewhere else. 

Joel’s eyes are stuck on your midsection. 

Oh yeah, the bump, from the front it’s not that noticeable but as soon as you turn boom there it is the unmistakable swell. 

That’s what scared you the most, how would he react to the pregnancy. 

“Y…you- you’re pregnant? How…I mean ya didn’t say anythin bout that back then?” He questions in almost trance.

“Maybe we should go inside to talk, hmm? My feet kinda hurt.” You laugh which pulls him out of his frozen state.

“Jeez of course, come in let’s sit down Moon.” He gestures to come into the house you used to share and once you cross the threshold the familiar smell engulfs you, a mix of vanilla and sandalwood.

Everything mostly still looks the same, once you reach the living room you immediately note that all the pictures are still exactly where they always hung on the wall. And when you look at the dining table, the one you sat at that night it’s still the same but what’s placed on top makes your breath hitch. 

Blue Chrysanthemums, the same as on his grave. 

When you turn you realize Joel’s been watching you “Did you put the flowers on his grave?” 

“Yeah, that was me” while he nervously scratches his neck “I hope ya liked them.”

You huff “Joel I loved them they are my favorite you know that. So you've been going to his grave?”

He hesitates for a moment but then responds “Every week since ya left Moon. Just spend a bit talkin to the ol’ men. Ya know he was my Bestfriend.” 

You nod “I’m sorry you couldn’t grieve cuz you had to take care of me. I know you were close and Joel-“ you reach for his face again, gently patting his cheek “- you meant soooo much to him, you know how I told you he’d basically chew my ear off telling me all about his super cool boss every night.” You smile sweetly at him trying to soothe the pain he must’ve felt at losing your father, his Bestfriend and then ultimately you as well.

The two of you sit down on the couch, which is now possible unlike 5 months ago when just looking at it made you sick, Joel sits down with a respectable distance from you. 

“So….you must have a million questions, shot?” You encourage him. “How far along, are ya?” 

“25 weeks to be specific, so only three more weeks and I’m officially 7 months.” You answer with a smile. 

A moment later “So ya were pregnant when you left, did ya know or..?” He questions.

“No, I didn’t know when I left. I didn’t think it would take at the first try. I chalked the whole throwing up thing up to the grief, you know?” 

He nods “Yeah, I get what ya mean…and how did you figure it out?”

“I didn’t. Sunny did, she thought something was off and had to drag me to the doctor. Did some tests and well I was 8 weeks already.” 

(Flashback beginning )

Sunny plopped down beside you on the couch 

“Ok we need to talk this is not normal anymore Moon.” 

You stared at her in question “ Why what’s wrong?” 

“Seriously.?? Let’s look at the facts: your periods have been missing for almost 3 months, you puke allllll the time, you eat the weirdest food combinations I’ve ever seen and….no offense but your tits have blown up, look at them.” As she points at your chest.

“Ok fuck you Sunny if you like looking at my tits you could’ve just told me and whats with my eating habits??”

“Baby you literally dipped pickles in Orange Sorbet for breakfast…you don’t see anything wrong with that, huh?” She laughs 

“Well I…I just really craved that”

“No baby, the little Miller fetus inside you craved that.” 

“Okkkkk then let’s go to the doctors office to see if you are correct or just imagining things.” As you flip her off while laughing. 

When the little white blob showed up on the screen, Sunny started yelling, of course she had to be right.

(Flashback over)

“Ya did all of it alone? I’m sorry Moon Girl.”

“Oh no, Sunny was there for each visit and she documented the whole process so you could have a chance at sorta having those memories too. You’re gonna be a Daddy Joel Miller” 

Tears well up in his eyes again “C…can I, ya know..?” While his eyes go to your belly.

You understand what he wants “Of course Joel, though you might not feel a whole lot…I think she’s asleep, which I can’t blame her for after the stressful ride over here.” You laugh gently. 

Joel’s gasp makes you look up 

“Y-y-yo…you said “she” it’s a girl, we’re having a little babygirl?” The tears slip down his cheeks again but this time he’s beaming with happiness as it happens. 

You take his outstretched shaking hand and place it on the top of your stomach. 

“Yeah a little Moon Babygirl, now imagine how Sunny freaked out when we got told, some of her cheerful screaming is probably caught in the video she took.” 

Joel’s crying intensifies so you motion for him to get closer and when his thigh presses against yours you pull him in for a side hug. His unoccupied arm slides around your lower back, hand resting on your hip, while his face slots right into your neck. 

“Sorry Baby I…I’m a mess.” He mumbles against the side of your neck.

“Shhh Joel, it’s ok, I got you. I got you Joel.” while stroking the back of his head. You give him the time to let it all out. 

Suddenly he perks up and pulls out your arms. 

“What’s wrong?” You ask 

“I…I think she kicked me, our baby kicked me..” he whispers. 

“Guess she knows it’s her Daddy needing some comfort, she’s done it for me too.” 

“How.?” 

“Whenever I couldn’t bare it anymore, she started kicking me as a distraction.” You continue “I believe she’s a gift from him, that sounds weird..” Joel just shakes his head no… “a purpose, something to keep going for you know?” 

“I know what ya mean Baby.” 

“Not that you were not enough but I..I - I just..” 

“It’s alrigh darlin, I understand you.” 

He gets up out of nowhere “I got something for ya, jus wait a minute sweetheart.”

As he heads up the stairs. 

When he comes back down he orders “Close ya eyes Moon.” 

“What, why?”

“Come on jus do it, trust me.”

You can feel him somewhere in front of you but you don’t know where exactly. 

“Open up.”

And there he is on his knees holding a small box up to you in it a beautiful engagement ring but instead of a normal shaped diamond it’s a moon shaped one. As if he had it made specifically for you.

You are completely stunned by the way he just wiped it out. 

J…j- Joel I..I don’t know what to say.” 

He jus shakes his head and looks at you softly “Moon ya don’t have to say anythin, I jus wanted you to have it.” 

You’re in sheer disbelief and only shake your head frantically. 

“m’ sorry that was too much I..I-“ but you cut him off

“Shut up I just needed a minute to process, yes Joel, yes I do.” You smile 

“W..what’d ya mean?” 

“Yes I want to Marry you Joel, not immediately but someday, ok? Put it on me.” You say as you hold out your hand 

Now Joel’s the one stunned but after collecting  himself he does just as you told him, he slides it on your left Ringfinger.

Once he’s done it you get up to admire the ring in the sunlight, you walk out onto the porch and hold your hand up to the Sun. 

You can hear his heavy steps coming up to you from behind, then you feel his muscular arms slide around your middle, his hands come to rest on the bump and his chin on your shoulder. 

You turn in his hold and place your palms on his broad chest. “I have to explain so much about why I left you and..and-“ 

This time he cut you off “I don’t care bout that right now, m’ jus happy to have ya back Moon. Can I kiss ya?” 

“Of course you can kiss me Joel.” That’s all the encouragement he needs before pressing his lips against yours and then again and again.

Suddenly he ask’s you something you did not expect “Ya got a name for Her in mind?” 

You pretend to think about the answer but then reply with confidence “I really like the name Matilda. What do you think of that?” 

Joel smiles amused “That’s a real pretty name for our Moon baby, darlin.“

You feel more content than ever before and you can feel him watching from above being happy as well to see you back in Joel’s arms. 

It’s them 🌌🌠:

Please don’t repost, copy, translate, or feed into any AI, thank you 🙏🏻

Npt: @joelmillerisapunk @aurorawritestoescape @milla-frenchy @studioghibelli @joelslegalwhre @thundermartini @almostfoxglove @sizzlingcloudmentality @vivian-pascal @strang3lov3 @xdaddysprincessxx @mountainsandmayhem @mrsmando @joelsgreys @janaispunk @iamasaddie @the-mandawhor1an @joelalorian @ace-turned-confused @clawdee @penvisions @rivnedell (honestly I’m pretty randomly tagging sorry) 🌠

[kiwwia-wiwwia]

God Must Hate Me

A call to your mother goes horribly wrong. Luckily, Matt is there to help you pick up some of your broken pieces.

Listened to God Must Hate Me by Catie Turner and decided to project into my writing!

Matt murdock x reader, hurt/comfort, bisexual!reader Word count: 1.8k Warnings: swearing, religious trauma lol, self-loathing, implied CSA EDIT: I know Catholicism is a part of Christianity!!! This is just based on my parents and how they talked about other denominations :)

Your shoulders shook as you slid down the wall, silent sobs wracking your body. One hand was clutching your phone, the other clapped over your mouth, desperate to contain any noise that might slip out. Sinner, your mother had called you. Hedonist. Sodomite. Her words looped over and over in your mind, drowning out all other thoughts. 

You wouldn’t have called in the first place had it not been for your sister. She texted you the night before saying that she was back home caring for your elderly father who had caught the flu. She said that your mother wouldn’t stop talking about you, complaining that you never called, that she didn’t know anything about your life. You spent that night tossing and turning, contemplating whether it was worth getting back in contact with her. Your relationship with your mother had always been strained, considering the abuse you endured in your childhood, but you didn’t hate her. You couldn’t. You felt a sense of guilt in pushing her away, as if you were abandoning a debt you owed.

What pushed you over the edge was a text from your father this morning. 

Hi pumpkin. I miss your smile. I’m a little under the weather, and I’d love a visit from my girl. Hope all is well. Love, Dad.

Despite everything your mother had put both of you through, you and your father were always close. You had talked to Matt, sharing your dilemma. On one hand, you didn’t really want to speak to your mother. On the other hand, your father was getting old, and you didn’t know how many more visits you had with him. He had always been delicate, getting sick easily and hurting himself by accident. He was also the only person besides your sister who truly understood you until Matt, and you missed him.

“Give them a call,” Matt suggested. He looked so beautiful, his hair catching the sunlight from the window and his body draped over the armchair. His hand lazily grasped a mug, steam drifting up from the warm coffee. “If the call goes well, go over and visit. I’ll come with you, if you want.”

You chewed on your lip anxiously. “And… if it doesn’t go well?” Your fingers picked idly at the rug below you. You were seated on the floor, resting your head against his leg as you sipped your tea. This was your unofficial weekend tradition, the two of you seated in this position while you talked about… well, whatever you needed to talk about. Anything that didn’t get brought up during the week, a dream one of you had, a funny story you had from work. Mornings like this were sacred, the peace and domesticity somehow washing away any other worries. In these moments, nothing else existed except you and Matt, your own little corner of heaven.

He ran his hand through your hair, slowly and deliberately raking his fingers over your scalp until you sighed in contentment. “Then I’ll be here for that, too,” he hummed.

Now, you found yourself wishing you had never said anything in the first place. All you wanted was to talk to your parents, check up on them, maybe even test the waters of a possible visit. Instead, you were berated for your lifestyle, called a whore and a sinner and told you were destined for hell. 

“And how’s your love life? Have you finally found a nice man or are you still in your lesbian phase?” You bristled at the comment, knowing your mother never took your sexuality seriously. Your coming out had been a disaster and had resulted in you staying with a friend for two months because your mother couldn’t stand the sight of you. “I’m bisexual, mom, that’s not a phase. But… yeah, I met someone,” you admitted. Your mother scoffed on the other end of the line, which you pointedly chose to ignore. “His name is Matthew, he’s a lawyer here in Hell’s Kitchen.”

“Such an awful name for a city. Why do they call it that, anyways? It couldn’t have been heaven’s kitchen?” You kept quiet, doing your best to push off the inevitable argument as your mother plowed on. “It’s good that you’ve come to your senses and met a boy. Where does he work? Is he Christian? Does he want kids?”

You rolled your eyes, trying to keep the irritation out of your voice. “He runs his own firm, Nelson and Murdock, he’s actually over there right now to grab some paperwork. I don’t know if he wants kids, we haven’t really thought about it. I only just moved in with him, and no, he’s not Christian. He’s Catholic, goes to mass every week.” There was a long silence before your mother finally spoke again.

“You… you moved in? As in… you live together?” Her tone was as if you had just told her that you shoved someone off of a building. “Yeah, I was staying over so much that we figured it wasn’t worth spending money on an apartment I don’t live in.” You arched a brow at her sharp intake of breath. “Mom? You okay?”

“Honey,” she said, her words dripping with venom. “Are you having sex with this man? Before marriage?” You couldn’t help the choked laugh that escaped your throat. “Mom, it’s not the 1800’s anymore. People have sex and move in with each other, it isn’t a crazy concept. My sex life isn’t really any of your business, though.” She made a sound of indignation, her voice an octave higher than when she last spoke. “That is no way to talk to your mother! I can’t believe you would be such a sinner, after everything I worked so hard to teach you. This behavior is disgusting, you know that? Only whores engage in such hedonistic acts.”

You stiffened at her words, years of religious teachings and long hours spent in churches creeping into your mind. Memories of wooden switches and Sunday School songs wrapped their tendrils around your throat, threatening to choke you until you had to plead with God for mercy. You took a gulp of air, trying desperately to keep your voice steady as tears pricked your eyes. “Mom, I’m not going to let you make me feel bad for the way I live my life, especially regarding something as small as who I’m spending my nights with. I just called to see how you and dad are doing, but if you don’t want to talk to me, that’s fine. I have other things to do anyway.” Her voice pierced through your phone’s speaker before you could hang up, your name spat from her lips like it was something profane. “All I ever did was try to raise a nice Christian girl, and this is what I get in return? A slut that sleeps with women and men before she’s even married? A sodomite? And he’s Catholic! You know catholicism isn’t biblical, how many times have I told you to stay away from non-Christians?” Tears were streaming down your face at this point, recollection of the confession of your treatment at the hands of the local pastor resulting in beatings. For some reason, you could only form a response to the last part of her rant. “After all of that, catholicism doesn’t seem as bad,” you said dryly.

“If we weren’t on the phone I’d smack you across the face for that. Don’t bother calling again. I’m not interested in hearing the lifestyle of a hellbound heathen.” The call ended with a dull beep, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

You distantly registered the sound of the door opening, footsteps coming down the hallway and making their way to where you were outside of the bedroom. Matt knelt in front of you, his unseeing eyes wide with concern. Your name fell from his lips as he cupped your face in his hand, lightly tracing his thumb along your cheek. “What happened? Was it your mom?” All you could do was nod as another sob escaped you. Desperate for some kind of comfort, you reached out your arms in a silent request. He complied without hesitation, drawing you into his chest and letting out a sad hum as you gripped his shirt, clinging to any semblance of stability.

“What do you need, love?” he asked softly, his fingers gently running up and down your spine. “Do you want to talk about it?” You instinctively shook your head and then paused, reconsidering. “I don’t… I don’t know why she still affects me the way she does,” you croaked. “It’s like every time we talk, I’m a scared little kid again.” Your voice dropped to a whisper, shame making your words thick. “She called me a whore, Matt. Called me a heathen for moving in with you, said I was going to hell. There was more, some sexuality stuff and Catholic-shaming you, but that was the main point.”

Matt went rigid, his fingers abruptly stopping their soothing motions on your back. When he spoke, his voice was dangerously low. “She’s wrong, love. You know those are just lies, right?” You shrugged helplessly, keeping your eyes trained on the ground as you shifted your position, opening up the space between the two of you. “I’m not religious. Not anymore, not after everything I went through in the church.” You sighed tiredly, scrubbing your hand down your face. “But being raised the way I was… it sticks, y���know? That belief system is a part of who I am, whether I want it to be or not, and I can’t help but think… what if she’s right? I mean, I’m not exactly a saint. Usually I’m pretty good at rationalizing all this stuff, but man, God must hate me. I’m such a bad person, Matt.”

He physically flinched at that. “Don’t ever call yourself that,” he seethed. You jerked your head up to look at him, his anger taking you by surprise. His words were sharp, his tone dripping barely-concealed anger. “You are not a bad person for living your life.” You made a noise of protest but he quickly cut you off. “I don’t know what they drilled into your head to make you hate yourself so much, but none of it is true. You’re the most wonderful, kind, selfless person I’ve ever met, and God help anyone who makes you think anything different.” He pressed a kiss into your forehead and you managed a small smile. “I love you. So much,” he breathed.

“I love you too. Thanks for trying to undo my religious trauma even though you have enough of it for all of Hell’s Kitchen. Sorry for crying on your shirt.” He chuckled at that, helping you to your feet. “Nothing to apologize for, love. Now, let’s go to the store. We need to buy some eggs.”

You arched a brow. “We have eggs in the fridge. What are you up to, Murdock?” He smiled, a mischievous glint in his eye. “We have a house to egg, of course. Don’t tell me you’re above petty revenge?” 

You laughed, the tension in your body draining. God, you loved this man. “Of course not. I’m a good heathen, after all.”

[red-airhead]

𝓘 𝓵𝓾𝓿 𝓱𝓲𝓶 | 𝓗𝓪𝓷 𝓙𝓲𝓼𝓾𝓷𝓰 |

Masterlist

word count - 2,547

genre - hurt with comfort, romance, fluff

warnings - gn terms, you/your pronouns, afab! reader, reader is insecure, self doubt, denial, mutual pining, bsf! Jisung, technically theres an argument, swearing, mentions of comparisons to others, distancing, hugging, cuddling, mentions of alcohol, mentions of hating your body, lmk if I missed anything.

my dear friend @j-onedrabbles is being featured in this! I couldn't think of a better person to feature in this just because they've always influenced a lot of my writing, and even sometimes motivates me and gives me inspiration. I love you Karma <3

“They’re better off without me anyway.” You’d tell your friends every time you’d catch feelings on a guy or girl, or when you’d be broken up with. 

Self doubt, that’s what you had. You never believed it but you knew it was true, and there was no way of denying it whenever they would constantly point out the way you’d get all upset and gloomy seeing that person happy with someone else, as you felt like it was the only way to be proven right, that they were better off without you.

This time though, it wasn’t someone who just suddenly came into your life, it was your best friend that you caught feelings for. Jisung was beautiful to you. He was so kind and so sweet that it was hard not to fall in love.

For the 2 years you had been friends, you made it through not catching feelings but the moment that he said you were prettier than anyone he’s ever met, it made you melt. 

At first, you thought it would go away, but when days turn into weeks and weeks turn into months, you knew there was no denying that you had officially caught feelings for your best friend.

You thought it was embarrassing, really. You thought that after all this time, why now? Or why did it have to be someone you were so afraid of losing. You knew it was a matter of time before he realized and left you behind because he’d find it weird, but you knew that wasn’t the case, he couldn’t leave you.

That’s when you ended up having a very long conversation with Hyunjin about this. Besides Jisung, he’d listen to you as well and would try and understand your problems.

“I feel like it’s about time you’d tell him.. It’s been almost 4 months Y/N..” 

“Yeah, and things have been fine! Nothing bad has happened and he doesn’t know!” 

“You’ve been distancing yourself.. You’ve been trying to hide away from him, and you know it. You two haven’t hung out in 2 months and you know it. I know it’s hurting you to be with him without being his partner, but he needs you more than anything and you know that it’s true.” 

He was right. It had been two months. Two months since you’ve talked to Jisung without letting the conversation die, two months since you’ve stayed at his house for the night, wearing his clothes, cuddling with him underneath his sheets. 

“How would you know that he’s better with me than without me?” 

“Because I know you two, more than anything.. Neither of you can live without each other and you know better than anyone that he’s been feeling like shit, like hes been doing something wrong this entire time.” Hyunjin did have a point. Jisung beat himself up more than anything in the world when he doesn’t know what’s wrong. 

“But–” 

“No but’s you’re talking to him soon. You need to see him, talk to him. He needs it more than anything in the world right now.” 

-----------------------------

Six months. Almost six months since you’ve been able to talk to Jisung face to face, or even hear his voice. It was so difficult at this point to even want these feelings.

You were recently invited to a gathering by Hyunjin, one he knew JIsung would be at since it was just the usual group. You couldn’t say no, you had agreed about a month go when you were tipsy. 

Except at this gathering, no alcohol was going to be consumed, and no one was going to be getting shit faced drunk to get rid of the pain. 

Movie night, something that you enjoyed so much with Jisung and the others. It was so comfortable between all of you, especially when you could all snuggle without a problem, it just felt like second nature. 

But now, you dreaded it. You were stuck next to Jisung with Hyunjin on your other side, preventing you from moving any further since he was just hogging the one side. That ended up with you pressed up against Jisung.

You could smell his cologne, one you picked out and one he kept using. He was warm, and that warmth was urging you to snuggle into his arms even more as the movie went on. 

You were quiet the entire time, and so was Jisung. Everyone knew that something was going on, and they all knew you both had feelings for each other, but you just denied it. 

It was so difficult to even look at him without wanting to cry or melt at his peaceful expression. 

Even worse, the movie night was at his house, and everyone had plans to leave early, and those who left, carpooled with the others. You were basically forced to stay the night.

Breaking the silence while you were cleaning, you said, “I’ll sleep on the couch..” 

He stopped everything he was doing and just looked at you, and you could tell he was upset, “You don’t have to..” He muttered, frowning at the way you just started to get everything set up. You didn’t even bring a change of clothes..

“It’s okay,, I’ll also just wear–”\

“No it’s not okay. Please,, come lay down with me, and get a change of clothes..” Jisung said in one of the most hush tones you’ve heard from him. You couldn’t deny him now.

“Fine..” You muttered, walking to his room and looking through his clothes, he followed close behind, also grabbing a change of clothes. You went to the bathroom to change, sliding off your shirt and then leggings. You just stared at your reflection. Yet another reason you believed you weren’t good enough for him. You hated how your body looked, he wouldn’t like it either. 

Before your tears started spilling, you quickly slipped on the borrowed clothes, blinking away your tears and then picking up your clothes, folding them and walking out of the bathroom. 

When you arrived at his room, you set down your clothes on his dresser, glancing over to see him on his phone, laying underneath the covers. With a soft huff, you got underneath the blankets and just turned to your side. You knew he was looking at you with such a heavy frown.

“You’re not gonna snuggle with me?” 

“Nope..” You popped the ‘p’ as you just buried yourself in the covers.

It was silent for a little while, until you felt him shuffle, set down his phone, and start hugging you from behind.

“Ji– Plea–”

“You know it's been really hard to fall asleep ever since we stopped hanging out..?” You knew alright. You haven’t been able to sleep well ever since.

“I’ve just been busy–” 

“Liar.. I know you, you’ve been sitting in your room alone.. You haven’t posted anything besides reels on instagram so I know that you’re lying.”

He was right. Nights when you weren’t hanging out you were in your bed, watching instagram reels and scrolling through tiktok. The one thing he didn’t include was that you’ve been crying.

“Can we not do this right now? And can you please let me go?” You could feel a pang in your heart from your own words, holding back your tears.

“Y/N–please–” 

“Jisung.” 

He slowly let you go, turning so his back was facing you. Shortly after you hear sniffling from him, “Ji,, please don’t cry…” You said in a much softer tone.

“I-I’m not crying..” He whimpered out. Yes he was. You sigh, turning around so you could hug him from behind, your cheeks flushing red from it.

“Yes you are.. I’m sorry..” You told him, pressing one of your signature kisses on his clothed shoulder. You heard him start to sob, so you just squeezed him tighter.

He soon turned around, crying in your arms.

“I miss you, so fucking much..” He said, a shaky breath following after.

“I miss you too, Ji..” 

“Then why won’t you talk to me? Why won’t you hang out with me or cuddle with me?” He whimpered out, holding onto you with a strong grip.

“It’s complicated..”

“Too complicated to tell your best friend?” He asked, looking at you with such a heart broken expression. 

You looked back at him, feeling tears prick at your eyes, “It’s not like that.. I just– I don’t want to tell you..” 

“But you’d tell everyone else right? You’d tell everyone but me right?” You couldn’t do this right now..

“You’d go to Hyunjin? Yeah? Talk to him about it and completely discard my feelings?” 

“Ji–”

“Or would you go to Minho? Tell him everything you cant tell me?”

“Jisung–”

“What about Felix? Huh? What can you tell him that you can’t–”

“Because I love you, more than a friend..!” You snapped at him. Everything froze. Did you really just say that?

You looked at him, and it felt like everything was over. His expression was truly something out of a horror movie.

“Forget about it.. I’m going home..” You quickly pulled him off of you and got out of bed, Jisung quickly scrambling to stop you, grabbing your hand.

“Wait! I-I love you too..”

“Ji, please don’t lie to me to make me feel better..”

“But I’m not–”

“Let go..” You quickly pulled your hand away from his, tears brimming in both yours and his eyes. Quickly, without changing or grabbing your clothes, you walked out of the bedroom and slipped your shoes on. It wasn’t long of a walk, but it was late.

You knew Jisung wouldn’t follow you, so it made you relieved knowing you didn’t have to stop him from following you. 

It truly wasn’t long before you got home, and immediately you just started balling your eyes out. All night long you spent thinking about him and how everything he said was a lie.

-----------------------------

It had been a few weeks since your ‘argument’ with Jisung. He kept texting you, trying to get you to answer or come hang out with him, and it even got to a point that you just put your phone on do not disturb. 

You were with your friend Karma. Both of you decided to have a night in at your house, preferably a sleepover just how you liked it.

They knew about Jisung, and your crush on him, how it felt practically impossible to be looking or even talking to him. 

“I really do think that you should talk to him,, I’m sure the poor guy is practically distraught with this situation.” She explained, sipping at the tea you had made the both of you a few minutes prior.

“You don’t get it though, it’s my best friend we're talking about. It’s Han Jisung, the guy who I fell in love with.” 

“Uh hello? I do get it, I’ve been in your situation before and not only that but that guy is absolutely head over heels for you.. Trust me I see it everytime he looks at you.” 

You scoffed before taking a sip of your own tea, rolling your eyes a little.

“Seriously! Jisung is probably the one, I can feel it. You really need to talk to him, and I know it’s hard for you but you also have to understand that he’s your best friend and the more you push him away, the more it’s gonna hurt.” 

Karma was right, you just didn’t want to believe it.

“If you say so..” You said as you watched them pull out her phone and begin typing..

“What are you doing?” You ask her, brows furrowing together as you lean over.

“Texting Jisung. I’m telling him to come to yours.” You quickly tried to grab their phone but it was too late, the text was already sent.

“Why would you do that!! Fuck now I have to see him..” You whined, throwing your head back in annoyance.

“Yes you do, and this will also be my que to leave before he arrives. I don’t want to witness whatever will go down. Have funnn!” Karma giggled out, standing up, setting down the empty cup of tea, and going to the door, sliding their shoes on and walking out to her car. 

This just meant you had to clean now, and look presentable. Before Karma had come over, you had been crying on and off when the argument with Jisung happened, and your house was a mess. You cleaned up the most you could, changing into more presentable clothes.

You waited for a knock on the door, and when you opened it you weren’t expecting to see Jisung with a gift bag and a bouquet of your favorite flowers.

“These are technically apology flowers but you can call them whatever, I also got a gift bag of all of your favorite things to eat,, and even some fuzzy socks and a new pair of pajama pants so we can match and–” 

“Okay, okay.. Just get inside..” You quickly ushered him in, watching him kick his shoes off in the process, setting the gift basket and flowers down gently.

Shutting the door, you made sure that it was locked, now walking over to him.

You saw his face, his expression, and it practically broke you. Tear stained cheeks, puffy red eyes, and his brows furrowed completely.

It wasn’t even a moment after that he had his arms around you, tears now forming again and falling down his face. You wrapped your arms around him, sniffling as you held each other.

It was silent in the house besides both of your sniffling and soft whimpers. 

“Jisung..”

“Let me go first..” He said, pulling away from the hug and cupping your cheeks, wiping away your tears. You leaned into his warm hands.

“Y/N I love you so much.. I really do, and not in the friend way I really, really love you.. Please don’t run away from me anymore, I can’t take it.. being away from you..” He paused, and you knew what he was going to say next.

“Jisung, I know… I’m sorry.. I pushed you away because I thought it would help, and prevent me from falling for you..” You replied, hands now cupping his cheeks and wiping away his tears.

“I love you too, I just– I didn’t want to–”

“Ruin our friendship, yeah I know..” He chuckled, hands going over yours as he looked back at you.

“Please.. Please stay with me, be in love with me.. I want you to stay around, I want to love you just as much as you love me..” He whimpered out, sniffling. You could see in his eyes the genuine truth, the way he wanted you to be with him so badly.

“Okay..” You whispered, slowly wrapping your arms around his neck and hiding away in his hold.

You don’t know what you missed more, the warmth or the hold of his arms.

You felt so safe, so secure.. Why did you ever distance yourself in the first place..

“I was so scared of losing you, I thought you hated me..”

“Hated you? I could never hate you..” You hugged closer.

“I love you..” 

You smiled at those words, your heart feeling warm, everything feeling safe and secure.

“I love you too..”

[kindredtarot]

❛❛What you need to balance right now?❜❜

› ♡˖°꒰ Pick a pile

✦; Pile : 1 ˎˊ˗❞

6 of swords, 10 of pentacles, 7 of stones, queen of arrows, 2 of cups.

“I'm just really fuckin' selfish and really fuckin' lost. But someone loved me, someone fucking loved me. Someone fucking loved me and I fuckin' loved them too. Goddamn it, I was worth something, I fuckin' learned something. I had my cake (I ate it, it ate me too and, God, no)” — Feel Better by Penelope Scott

You need to balance your timely actions and patience. It looks like you are transitioning to a new stage in your life because you want to advance and achieve what you want. Are you choosing to leave behind old relationships? Probably a hard decision emotionally, but something you felt you had to do to protect yourself. “Can’t heal in the same environment that wounds me”. You want stability, finally. Maybe you want it before but insisted to try having it with people that wouldn’t give it to you. But now you are making steps towards it, starting with the choice to move on. You want to have a stable foundation financially and/or with your family, a place that you can actually call home and mot having to worry about having to protect yourself and your feelings 24/7. And you can get it, you just need to have patience with your healing journey. 

You are going in the right direction. I know leaving people that you really cared about hurts and it might take some months or a year, but continue to take care of yourself, physically, emotionally, and mentally. It’s okay to let your mind remember and miss past moments sometimes, and to cry your heart out. Blocking those things would just make it harder in the long run, and you might already know that deep down. Resting and not doing nothing doesn’t mean your are giving up, take your time to get ready to continue towards what you want. Taking care of yourself will clear your mind and would help you communicate better and making better decisions towards your relationships with others and your possessions/money. I can see your relationships improving, with yourself and others, actual soul-touching connections. Maybe you always wanted a soul family, a group of friends that were like family or a healthy family life, whatever it was, I can see this area of your life improving and beautifully too. Just take priority and improve your relationship with yourself first and foremost, so you are ready with strong boundaries and understanding of what you truly want to start deep connections with others too.

✦; Pile : 2 ˎˊ˗❞

page of wands, 3 of pentacles, death, the tower, queen of pentacles, 3 of wands in reverse.

“Do you ever see someone and think "Wow, they got lucky", the craftsmanship of their bones, their brain, and their body. When I look into the mirror for too long it hurts, they don't track how many steps it takes to burn off dessert. Do you ever see someone and think "Wow, they got lucky". I'll let 'em take accountability. For everything that's wrong with me. Can't hold myself responsible. So I'll blame the metaphysical. If Jesus died for all our sins. He left one behind, the body I'm in. Same hands that made the moon and the stars. Got carpal tunnel and forgot some parts” — God must hate me by Catie Turner

You need to balance how you view others vs yourself. You might put people in a pedestal and put yourself down unconsciously. You seem to be someone with so many ideas and plans, wild imagination! (You might be an artist). Someone that sees the “impossible” and is sure it could become possible! A really exciting and active person, whether that’s physically or mentally. You might like working in group or just admire people. They seems really interesting, so many new perspective. And they are talented too, in their own way. Maybe your achievements don’t seem as valuable to you just because you are admiring other people that seem to just have everything else you want. You have a lot too, in your life you were resilient. You sometimes might think you are giving up too easily but you are resilient. You are still going, aren’t you? Still trying or planning to get better and get to your goals. Don’t forget to look back to your past to realize how far you’ve come, how much you had learned. Just because all the things you had achieve aren’t as visible to others like what you see outside of yourself, doesn’t mean they don’t exist or are less. 

Others seems so cool to you, and forget you are cool too. Do you have a lot of unfinished projects? So many ideas but maybe don’t fully follow through with them. And others seem to have their shit together already, finishing what they started. Instead of discouraging yourself, try observing the things you admire from those people and take what could help you keep going. Maybe you have problems with planning your projects or stay stuck on just planning instead of actually starting them. This unbalance in your views of others and yourself has to “die” to start building something better that would work for you. It won’t be easy to fix something that got stuck so deep in your subconscious but it is possible! It would make you feel really frustrated or confuse at the start, because a  lot of beliefs that you had would be breaking and making you rethinks them and what you are doing with your actions. And that’s okay! Because you would understand yourself better and see you for who you truly are. A really cool creative person. You would nourishing more your creative mind, projects, and collaborations with people. You would start to work as a team, truly this time, because you would finally see yourself just as valuable as those who you admire are. And you would also go through your projects, because you would commit to them now. I can see you caring so much more about your projects in a practical way, and growing success and financial stability because of it. You might have setbacks after committing with your projects because you don’t really know how to advance with them, but those setbacks are gonna be temporary, so have patience with yourself. Every mistakes teaches a lesson, remember them for any future obstacle. And remember to ask for help when you need it too!

✦; Pile : 3 ˎˊ˗❞

5 of swords, ace of wands, 4 of cups, ace of pentacles, 10 of swords.

“Spider-boy, king of thieves. Weave your little webs of opacity. My pennies made your crown. Trick me once, trick me twice. Don't you know that cash ain't the only price? It's coming back around. And I keep my side of the street clean. You wouldn't know what I mean. 'Cause karma is my boyfriend. Karma is a god. Karma is the breeze in my hair on the weekend. Karma's a relaxing thought. Aren't you envious that for you it's not? Sweet like honey, karma is a cat. Purring in my lap 'cause it loves me. Flexing like a goddamn acrobat. Me and karma vibe like that” — Karma by Taylor Swift

You need to balance your thoughts, desires, and actions. You have to stop acting with your ego. Stop playing with your luck… I feel like you could have so many things but you might be impulsive and make moves that you know you shouldn’t be doing because they aren’t planned or because it might be tripping someone else and not even getting you nothing valuable at the end of it. You might be a little stubborn about this, maybe prefer not to follow “rules” or are scare of doing so because you think it might not work for you? Instead of making risky decision that barely give you anything or sometimes nothing at all. Try taking your time planning and making decision that even if they succeed or not, they would still level you up. 

You have so much potential and a vision as well. But you can’t just go about it without planning nothing at all! Like trying to make a spark into a fire. You need to blow towards the spark correctly, if you don’t, you lose it and you don’t get the fire. And then your motivation is left on the cold. I understand the frustration, but don’t forget about what you have already. You can try to create a fire in the first place because you have the materials already. And you might receive a lot of opportunities that could help you but you don’t take them seriously because they aren’t up to your expectations or because you rush into them without thinking in what ways they could be helpful to you. Whatever it is, you are self sabotaging. You could help yourself up towards what you wants or you could destroy everything on your way. You actions are part of you, so think them through. You are constantly stabbing yourself with fear. Getting overwhelm and falling from exhaustion. Remember, the only thing that you can control is your actions and reactions. So don’t give power to fear and anxiety. Once you release that, you can hold your own power yourself and utilize it to make the right decisions. On choosing what you want, how you want it and how you are going to get it.

Don’t be scare of your potential and stop unleashing your decisions on others. karma might comeback later on to bite you in the back, but play your cards right and it could be your biggest helper! Just keep going and focus on doing better. 

[writerblue275]

Songs that make me think of each Heartsteel member [and Alune] (with minimal explanation).

Inspiration: One of the things I do to inspire myself while writing is listen to music. I’ve always been musical (piano, viola, and singing) and music can really set my mood/make me think of a scenario. Occasionally when I’m just listening to music in my car, a song pops up and I’m like…"Oh that makes me think of (enter character here)!"

Genre: ?? I have absolutely no clue how to classify this?? Mood music??? Headcanon inspiration??

Category: I guess fluff, but some of these songs are indirectly or directly suggestive/explicit so 😬. But nothing explicit actually in this post.

Tw: None for this post besides swearing, but again some of these songs are directly or indirectly suggestive/explicit so listen at your own discretion. 🤷🏼‍♀️

(Each person gets at least 2 songs. Sett and Kayn get three because it's my post that's why. 😂)

Aphelios:

“Thnks fr th Mmrs” - Fall Out Boy (Lmao if you think I wouldn’t have some emo/alt for Phel on this list, you’re sorely mistaken.)

“Levitating” - Dua Lipa (“I got you, moonlight, you’re my, starlight…”💃)

Ezreal:

“Hey Mama!” - EXO-CBX (Did you really think I wouldn’t have Baekhyun for Ez in some way? Yeah fucking right! I associate him with my fav EXO sub-unit song.)

“Hyperfixations” - Catie Turner (I actually had this for Aphelios initially but then I realized it fit Ez WAY BETTER. I LOVE THIS SONG.)

Kayn:

“Met Him Last Night” - Demi Lovato (Feat. Ariana Grande) (All I have to say is listen to the lyrics, especially the first verse through the chorus, and tell me it’s not a fucking POV of meeting Kayn.)

“Gives You Hell” - The All-American Rejects (This is absolutely Kayn’s response to his old band.)

“S&M” - Rihanna (😏 Makes sense with one of my prior ranking/headcanons.)

(I have so many alternate options for Kayn omfg. I really struggled limiting it to only one more for him since I’m not doing that for most others. What does this say about me and my taste in music? 😂)

K’Sante:

“Physical” - Dual Lipa (Thought of our gym bro duo and then the lyrics made me think of K’Sante!)

“I’m Not Sorry” DEAN, Eric Bellinger (The confidence in the lyrics and then energy/vibe of the song just SCREAMED K’Sante to me!)

Sett:

“Confident (Rock Version)” - Demi Lovato (“…I’m the boss right now…” Damn straight Sett is the boss.)

“Watermelon Sugar” - Harry Styles (Again, makes sense with one of my previous rankings/headcanons.😏)

“34 + 35” - Ariana Grande (🫣 LISTEN I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. 😅).

Yone:

“Black Swan” - BTS (What the lyrics talk about fit really well with Yone’s known backstory before Heartsteel.)

“Home” - Catie Turner (I just think it fits secretly soft and romantic Yone very well!)

EXTRA - Alune (because we love her and she’s a baddie):

“God is a Woman” - Ariana Grande (She sure is, especially when she has to be the manager of Heartsteel and deal with these six. 😂)

“%% (Eung Eung)” - Apink (the vibe of the song fits her well and I like the lyrics with Alune’s vibe too.)

Thanks for reading/vibing. I feel like I might have to do more of these. Maybe make it a series as I realize it's happening with more songs! Music is my biggest inspiration when I write.

[thisisyourdriverspeaking]

Another day calls for another edition of US motorsport number twos posts. Featuring some absolute classic tunes 👌. Enjoy 😊😊

Sebastien Loeb (26th February 1974) - Terry Jacks - Seasons In The Sun

Tony Kanaan (31st December 1974) - Elton John - Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds

Juan Pablo Montoya (20th September 1975) - Glen Campbell - Rhinestone Cowboy

Mark Webber (27th August 1976) - Bee Gees - You Should Be Dancing

Kimi Raikkonen (17th October 1979) - Herb Alpert - Rise

Jenson Button (19th January 1980) - Captain & Tennille - Do That To Me One More Time

Felipe Massa (25th April 1981) - Sheena Easton - Morning Train (Nine To Five)

Heikki Kovalainen (19th October 1981) - Diana Ross & Lionel Richie - Endless Love

Andre Lotterer (19th November 1981) - The Rolling Stones - Start Me Up

Pippa Mann (11th August 1983) - Eurythmics - Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This)

Simon Pagenaud (18th May 1984) - Phil Collins - Against All Odds (Take A Look At Me Now)

Robert Kubica (7th December 1984) - Daryl Hall & John Oates - Out Of Touch

Nico Rosberg (27th June 1985) - Phil Collins - Sussudio

Jerome D'Ambrosio (27th December 1985) - Mr Mister - Broken Wings

Rahel Frey (23rd February 1986) - Mr Mister - Kyrie

Kamui Kobayashi (13th September 1986) - Lionel Richie - Dancing On The Ceiling

Rene Rast (26th October 1986) - Tina Turner - Typical Male

James Hinchcliffe (5th December 1986) - The Human League - Human

Oliver Turvey (1st April 1987) - Starship - Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now

Sebastian Vettel (3rd July 1987) - Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam - Head To Toe

Alexander Sims (15th March 1988) - George Michael - Father Figure

Molly Taylor (6th May 1988) - Terrence Trent D'Arby - Wishing Well

Simona De Silvestro (1st September 1988) - Elton John - I Don't Wanna Go On With You Like That

Sarah Bovy (15th May 1989) - Madonna - Like A Prayer

James Calado (13th June 1989) - New Kids On The Block - I'll Be Loving You (Forever)

Brendon Hartley (10th November 1989) - New Kids On The Block - Cover Girl

Earl Bamber (9th July 1990) - Roxette - It Must Have Been Love

Cristina Gutierrez (24th July 1991) - Paula Abdul - Rush Rush

Abbie Eaton (2nd January 1992) - Boyz II Men - It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday

Timmy Hansen (21st May 1992) - En Vogue - My Lovin' (You're Never Gonna Get It)

Daniel Abt (3rd December 1992) - The Heights - How Do You Talk To An Angel

Alice Powell (26th January 1993) - Shai - If I Ever Fall In Love

Tatiana Calderon (10th March 1993) - Whitney Houston - I Will Always Love You

Christine GZ (22nd July 1993) & Alex Lynn (17th September 1993) - UB40 - Can't Help Falling In Love

Bubba Wallace (8th October 1993) - SWV - Right Here (Human Nature)

Michelle Gatting (31st December 1993) - Janet Jackson - Again

Naomi Schiff (18th May 1994) - Prince - The Most Beautiful Girl In The World

Jessica Hawkins (16th February 1995) - Boyz II Men - On Bended Knee

Luca Ghiotto (24th February 1995) - Madonna - Take A Bow

Beitske Visser (10th March 1995) - TLC - Creep

Nicholas Latifi (29th June 1995) - Nicki French - Total Eclipse Of The Heart

Jack Aitken (23rd September 1995) - Michael Jackson - You Are Not Alone

Oliver Askew (12th December 1996) - BlackStreet ft Dr Dre - No Diggity

Louis Deletraz (22nd April 1997) - Jewel - Foolish Games

Catie Munnings (15th November 1997) - Usher - You Make Me Wanna...

Cem Bolukbasi (9th February 1998) - Usher - Nice & Slow

Jamie Chadwick (20th May 1998) - Mariah Carey - My All

Kevin Hansen (28th May 1998) - Next - Too Close

Mick Schumacher (22nd March 1999) - Whitney Houston ft Faith Evans & Kelly Price - Heartbreak Hotel

Toni Breidinger (14th July 1999) & Max Fewtrell (29th July 1999) - Destiny's Child - Bills Bills Bills

Robert Shwartzman (16th September 1999) - TLC - Unpretty

Bent Viscaal (18th September 1999) - Enrique Iglesias - Bailamos

Felipe Drugovich (23rd May 2000) - Faith Hill - Breathe

Marta Garcia (9th August 2000) - Sisqo - Incomplete

Arthur Leclerc (14th October 2000) - Madonna - Music

Sophia Florsch (1st December 2000) - Creed - With Arms Wide Open

Clement Novalak (23rd December 2000) - Shaggy ft Rikrok - It Wasn't Me

Frederik Vesti (13th January 2002) - Usher - U Got It Bad

Luke Browning (31st January 2002) - Ja Rule ft Ashanti - Always On Time

Liam Lawson (11th February 2002) - Nickelback - How You Remind Me

Olli Caldwell (11th June 2002) - Fat Joe ft Ashanti - What's Luv?

Jack Doohan (20th January 2003) - Missy Elliott - Work It

All added to this playlist 😊

[lylethewaterguy]

Some of my favourite dc characters and songs that remind me of them because i felt like it:

Oliver Queen/Green Arrow: Island - Miley Cyrus

Sounds obvious I know, but it really fits him perfectly with his love/hate relationship to the island.

“And I won’t lie, it sure gets lonely here at night - But no one here needs nothing from me, and it’s kinda nice”

Roy Harper/Arsenal: Archer - Taylor Swift

This one also seems very obvious based on the title but I also think it just suits Roy and everything he’s been through both with addiction and with losing so many people close to him.

“I’ve been the archer - I’ve been the prey - Screaming, who could ever leave me, darling? - But who could stay?”

Dick Grayson/Nightwing: Vampire - Olivia Rodrigo

This song is 100% Dick (/Jason) thinking about Bruce and you cannot convince me otherwise.

“And every girl I ever talked to said that you were bad, bad news - You called them crazy, God I hate the way I called them crazy too - You’re so convincing - How do you lie without flinching”

Justice League International: Americana - Jonas Brothers

No thoughts, just vibes. I don’t know why but this song is how I feel when reading or thinking about the JLI.

“We’re gonna get home when we get home”

Beatriz Da Costa/Fire and Tora Olafsdotter/Ice: Green Green Grass - George Ezra

Both perfect colour wise but also captures their partners in crime energy super well I think.

“Green, green grass - Blue, blue sky - You better throw a party on the day that I die”

Scott Free/Mister Miracle: God Must Hate Me - Catie Turner

This is mainly based on the 2018 existential crisis Barbie Scott (aka my favourite Scott).

“Same hands that made the moon and the stars - Got carpal tunnel and forgot some parts - I don’t know what I believe - But it’s easier to think - He made a mistake with me”

Ted Kord/Blue Beetle: Groundhog Day - Em Beihold

I just feel like Ted is a very stuck in the past, doesn’t really have a place in the present, character and this song perfectly encapsulates that.

“I just wanna drive away - But I don’t have a car, so I guess I gotta stay - And it’s easy to say I’m okay - Up and down these emotional waves”

Michael Jon Carter/Booster Gold: Used To Be Young - Miley Cyrus

Modern/post 2007 dad Booster thinking back to his days with the JLI.

“You tell me time has done changed me - That’s fine, I had a good run - I know I used to be crazy - That’s cause I used to be young”

Michael Jon Carter/Booster Gold: DEAD FRIENDS - Demi Lovato

Feels somewhat self explanatory.

“I miss the hell we can’t raise, I miss the time we can’t waste - I miss the texts they can’t send, I miss my dead friends”

Michael Jon Carter/Booster Gold and Ted Kord/Blue Beetle: Loved You Before - Peach PRC

They gay.

“Two complementary colors - The winter, the spring and summer - Forever just lost lovers that keep getting rediscovered”

(I thought about including songs from musicals but then I figured there’s so many more so that’s be better for a separate post)

[loganwritesprobably]

Mihawk Playlist

I love making character playlists so I present to you the track list of my Mihawk playlist (link at the end)

I don't remember why I made all of these choices, but oh boy I made them and I enjoy listening to the playlist so good enough

🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶

Nothing's New by Rio Romeo

God Must Hate Me - Catie Turner

Little Dark Age - MGMT

Burning Pile - Mother Mother

Look Who's Inside Again - Bo Burnham

What Do They Know? - Mindless Self Indulgence

Blow My Brains Out - Tikkle Me

Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time - Panic! At The Disco

Apocalypse - Cigarettes After Sex

Born To Die - Lana Del Rey

Love Like You - Steven Universe

I Can't Handle Change - Roar

Nobody - Mitski

Oh No! - MARINA

Inertia - AJR

Numb Little Bug - Em Beihold

[awesomewithoutme]

what's a song you'd describe yourself with?

Nothing by Catie Turner. It sums me up perfectly! If you haven't already, you should listen to it!

Thank u, I love getting asks. I really needed this right now. ❤️‍🩹

[somewillwin]

I know this has nothing to do with art but I was wondering if we could get some facts about your oc nico. 👀

Oooohhh sure thing! I have some random ones.

She’s a bit of a music genius… not like Mozart or anything but she plays a lot of instruments. She plays the acoustic guitar, the piano, and the harmonica. She usually uses the first two to compose and write the songs.

The harmonica was a bit of a phase when she was young that she ended up liking it.

Even if she can play the other instruments… she consider herself a better singer than musician. She would never compare herself to iris’s or rowan’s talent.

She dyed her hair green and started doing harder drugs and drink more after the whole drama with the band and seven. I mean she just lost her best friend and girlfriend at the same time and she was so mad with the others for doing that, so essentially all her support system was gone. And seven blocked her from everything so she got herself an out with drinks, drugs and music.

She did track in school so she can run 🏃‍♀️

She would never admit she has a drug problem.

She’s def still in love with seven 😌

She’s pretty dense with flirting, she will not get the hint. Djhdbjdhbsjhsv

Has a bit of a martyr complex ngl. She put others needs before hers, which is why she picked to room with seven’s band instead of the other band that would make Rowan lose control.

Nothing by Catie Turner is the Nico song. That’s why it’s the first song in my nico playlist, she would def write something like that.

And I think (?) the last one I have….

She’s bisexual, but she hasn’t date any other woman since seven. Nico knows she’s still in love with seven and she doesn’t wanna risk that she could spend the whole time comparing each girl with seven. It wouldn’t be fair.

And I think that’s all! For now.

As always! Go read @infamous-if 🔥

[agaypanic]

agaypanic's Malcolm Wilkerson Playlist

MITM Masterlist | Main Masterlist

if you want something to listen to while you read my malcolm wilkerson fics, here you go! if yall have any suggestions for what to add on this playlist, lmk in the comments!!

Spotify Link

Liability - Lorde

this is me trying - Taylor Swift

The Lucky One - Taylor Swift

Show & Tell - Melanie Martinez

What the Hell - Avril Lavigne

Nothing New - Taylor Swift (feat. Phoebe Bridgers)

jealousy, jealousy - Olivia Rodrigo

ocean eyes - Billie Eilish

Bad Ideas - Tessa Violet

Everybody Talks - Neon Trees

If I Killed Someone for You - Alec Benjamin

In My Blood - Shawn Mendes

People Watching - Conan Gray

Crush Culture - Conan Gray

idfc - blackbear

Recess - Melanie Martinez

feel something - Bea Miller

Animal - Neon Trees

8TEEN - Khalid

God Must Hate Me - Catie Turner

brutal - Olivia Rodrigo

decode - Sabrina Carpenter

making the bed - Olivia Rodrigo

[chronic-pessimists]

Ask me anything

please ask me questions. As I said earlier, high school football (soccer) pre-season has recently started and the actual season is starting soon. I need something to distract me from the stress and pressure of high school sports, high school itself, and face to face social interaction itself. So please, I beg, ask me questions that have to make me stop and actually think about so it can push all of those other thoughts to the back of my head.

Also if anyone is interested I made a playlist of songs that I think tori Spring would be listening to. The playlist is 5 hours and 19 minutes long and has 87 songs on it.

The songs are:

No Surprises- Radiohead

Creep- Radiohead

Good Looking- Suki Waterhouse

As The World Caves In- Matt Maltese

Space Song- Beach House

Where'd All The Time Go?- Dr. Dog

Nobody- Mitski

Always Forever- Cults

Duvet- boa

Sweet- Cigarettes After Sex

Tired- beabadoobee

Lights Are On- Tom Rosenthal

Fade Into You- Mazzy Star

The Other Woman- Lana Del Rey

God Must Hate Me- Catie Turner

Everything In Its Right Place- Radiohead

Holocene- Bon Iver

People Watching- Conan Gray

First Love/Late Spring- Mitski

Cool Kids- Ecosmith

There is a Light That Never Goes Out (2011 Remaster)- The Smits

Juliet- Cavetown

Liquid Smooth- Mitski

Melatonin- Carter Vail

Motion Sickness- Phoebe Bridgers

Fool- Frankie Cosmos

I Love You So- The Walters

Nothing- Bruno Major

The Bends- Radiohead

Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now (2011 Remaster)- The Smiths

I Can't Handle Change- Roar

Slipping Through My Fingers- ABBA

The Has Opened My Eyes (2011 Remaster)- The Smiths

Lovers Rock- TV Girl

Right Side of My Neck- Faye Webster

Telephones- Vacations

It's Not The Same Anymore- Rex Orange County

Exit Music (For A Film)- Radiohead

Line Without A Hook- Ricky Montgomery

Hey Little Girl (Live)- sophiemarie.b

Lemon Boy- Cavetown

Average- Sushi Soucy

Top Of My School- Katherine Lynn-Rose

i'll die anyway.- girl in red

Meteor Shower- Cavetown

Sunflower- Michele Leigh

Are You Bored Yet?(feat. Clairo)- Wallows, Clairo

Eleanor Rigby- Cody Fry

Our Word- 36 Questions, Jessie Shelton

The Record Player Song- Daisy the Great

Daddy Issues- The Neighbourhood

Broken- Isak Danielson

Habits- Genevieve Stokes

Burning Pile- Mother Mother

Fourth of July- Sufjan Stevens

Kids- Current Joys

Apocalypse- Cigarettes After Sex

Cry- Cigarettes After Sex

K.- Cigarettes After Sex

Sunsetz- Cigarettes After Sex

Welcome And Goodbye- Dream, Ivory

Gilded Lily- Cults

Treehouse- Alex G, Emily Yacina

Francis Forever- Mitski

Let Down- Radiohead

YKWIM?- Yot Club

Message In A Bottle- The Police

It's Not- Aimee Mann

Eet- Regina Spektor

Ask (2008 Remaster)- The Smiths

Our Window- Noah And The Whale

I Need Some Sleep- Eels

Bloodflood- Alt-J

Motion Picture Soundtrack- Radiohead

Inside Out- Duster

Last Words of a Shooting Star- Mitski

Blondie- Current Joys

Sparks- Coldplay

Fool- Cavetown

If U Wanna Stay- Sweatcult

Everything Is Going to Hell- Teen Suicide

Watching Him Fade Away- Mac DeMarco

New Flesh- Current Joys

ur so pretty- Wasia Project

Crush Culture- Conan Gray

Sappho- Frankie Cosmos

My Own Person- Ezra Williams

I hope you give it a listen and enjoy it.

[the-prince-of-pigs]

list a song for every letter of your username (depresso espresso playlist version for me)

t = Trauma (NF)

h = Hollow (Icon For Hire)

e = Evelyn Evelyn (Evelyn Evelyn)

p = Parents (Yungblud)

r = Rät (Penelope Scott)

i = Imaginary Illness (Call Me Karizma)

n = Nothing Ever Changes (Nico Collins)

c = Cult Leader (King Mala)

e = Easy’s Never Been This Hard (Citizen Soldier)

o = Over Soon (Egypt Central)

f = Faded Out (Asking Alexandria)

p = Paranoia (Nathan Wagner)

i = I Deserve To Bleed (Sushi Soucy)

g = God Must Hate Me (Catie Turner)

s = Serotonin (Call Me Karizma)

consider yourself tagged

@skeezpyuff @coconutmilkyway @michi0no @bamsara @kiki-kit @busket @doktorgirlfriend @dorinahv2

[faronnorth]

tagged by @boydcrowdr

🎶✨when you get this you have to put 5 songs you actually listen to, publish, then send this ask/tag 10 of your favourite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool) 🎶✨

the simplest words by the narcissist playbook

hot knife by fiona apple

nothing by catie turner

bodys by car seat headrest

dawns by zach bryan (feat. maggie rogers)

i don’t know what the vibe is but it is vibing

tagging @onlybluetalk @dookiephilosphy @venus-shining @lifegetsdandruff @jennifersbod @directedbytaika @queercodedcowboy @allmysinsremembered @raylangivins @acorrespondence