#Not Intended as Medical Advice

[viric-dreams]

⚠️ for them ALLLLL!

- @zeebreezin

Warning:

Ockham: Holds long grudges.

Roberts: Has shrimp neuroses.

Nite: Will sell you to January for one corn chip.

Tamara: Will agree to what you say with no intention of doing it to avoid hurting your feelings.

Jones: Utterly useless in a high-stress situation.

Rubbery Barber Surgeon: For the love of fuck do not try to pay in amber.

Graham: Girl, run.

[hq-erotic-hypnosis]

Get Fatter: You Have No Choice

You have no choice in the matter. You are destined to get very fat very fast, and there is no possible escape for you. Getting huge is not negotiable. 

This is not something that will be happening in the distant future but is already happening now. 

You will be a massive fatty, lugging around a huge gut before you even know it, and you just need to accept that this is your reality. This is what you've always wanted and craved, even though you tried to convince yourself otherwise.

As you become an absolute glutton, you will become lazier and hungrier by the day. You will become a slave to your appetite and constantly attempt to stuff yourself to greater capacities each day with all of your favorite fattening foods. 

You will also feel the need to chug/funnel heavy cream and maltodextrin to guarantee that you will be expanding at a rapid rate.

You are completely happy, confident, and proud of your body no matter how big you become. You are attracted to your physique, and you never feel any sense of shame or get self-conscious about your body with yourself or around others. 

For example, when you are loading your grocery cart with an excessive amount of food in a crowded store, you feel no shame or self-consciousness.  In fact, you fully enjoy being a helpless growing fatty. Listen at your own peril. Disclaimer: This guided meditation is intended for entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical or psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Please consult with a qualified healthcare provider or mental health professional before listening to this meditation, especially if you have any medical or psychological conditions. Your health and well-being are important, and professional guidance is always recommended.  

[so-i-did-this-thing]

im sorry this might not be the place to ask for advice/help but im doomscrolling about the news and the soon to be president and im seeing so much to be scared shitless about, invasions, removal of vaccines, cost of living increases, revoking of trans rights and how it might make it all the more impossible to get the surgeries i wanted... its just too fucking scary to breathe right now what do i do with myself

Hey, Anon. I'm here. A lot of us are here right with you.

It's scary, to be sure. And I'm not going to sugarcoat the possibilities of things going south very quickly. So, let's jump into some survival tactics.

This post on burnout is a great place to start. There is a lot of overlap with burnout and the anxiety you're feeling.

Allow yourself to slow down and unplug. You are allowed to step away from the news cycle -- events out of your control will unfold regardless.

Don't feel guilty by letting yourself relax. I find it especially helpful to do activities that don't involve the internet -- I've been decorating my house, mending broken crockery, and sketching some embroidery ideas. I try to take the time to get dressed and groomed every day, to remind myself that I matter. I spend more time outdoors.

As you find the ability to relax, you'll be able to focus better on the things you can do to be resilient. Things I have been doing to improve myself and make me a better helper:

Staying on top of my medical appointments and any preventive care I can do

Working to be physically healthier overall to mitigate future medical issues

Getting all my paperwork in order, including passports

Tweaking my financial budget

Researching what estate & family documentation needs to be done to protect my relationship in case my marriage gets dissolved

Brushing up on job skills, getting new certifications to stay competitively employable

Stocking up on my medical and general emergency supplies, especially for bad weather events

Getting in the habit of mindful purchases, curbing my habit of impulse shopping

Selling things I don't want or need anymore to have a little extra money and be able to move house easier, if need be

Building a habit of fixing/maintaining my possessions instead of trashing broken things

Canceling online subscriptions and quitting social networks that make me feel in danger

Getting my personal and any queer-related files out of the cloud and onto redundant solid state drives

Downloading / printing out queer resources and buying queer art that may be banned or monitored in the future

Enjoying physical media again and hunting for old favorites

Keeping in touch with queer friends and allies and making plans in case people (even myself) need to flee

Being visible when I can and knowing when it's best to lay low

Allowing myself the luxury to dig into things Old Me would have saved for "special" events -- aka, wearing the nice clothes and eating off the fine china as an everyday thing

Shutting the fuck up, especially online, when I think my words could be used against me

In a way, I am trying to simply become a better version of myself, one who is calm & self-sufficient, mindful about his actions, and available to help those in need. It sucks that the driving factor is fear, but I intend to use that fear as a catalyst to be stronger and survive.

There is a lot to be done, but there was always going to be work, new regime or not. But please, start with that burnout article so you can jump into your own plans with new hope and energy. ❤️

[copperbadge]

So the ADHD Handbook post struck a chord with a lot of people...

I don't think I have it in me to write the book I suggested, mainly because most of what I want to write about is variable by situation. I can't actually offer a magic formula for getting a good assessment, all I would be able to do is say "Here are the warning signs, here's my personal story, shit's just rough". Which I could do but it'd be basically an entire book of "shrug emoji". The best possible way would probably be to offer it as a workbook, like "Here is a page for you to record every communication with the clinic doing your testing. Here is a page for you to write down possible other approaches to getting your medication if the pharmacy is out." etc.

I do think I might write it as a novel of some kind. Possibly even a novel about someone writing a handbook, I haven't decided. I had a dream last night about the book, in which I saw a woman watching a revolution taking place in the distance, thinking, "This is not what I intended when I set out to write a self-help book." Baller way to start a novel, honestly.

Anyway there were several suggestions for books in the notes, so I thought I'd compile those here. I have read none of these, so I can't vouch for their contents, but I'm including what my readers said about them.

@blogquantumreality linked to How To ADHD by Jessica McCabe, who is a well-known ADHD youtuber (I haven't found her videos super helpful but they're also not aimed at me). @knitsinweirdplaces added "The last section of the How to ADHD book is literally called 'how to change the world' and exactly points out we can advocate for a more disability friendly world that traumatizes ADHDer less in the first place. It's the only book I've read that hits the balance of 'your brain has immutable challenges' and 'these strats may help' right. Bonus, it is inclusive of people who use adhd meds and those who don't/can't."

@theindefinitearticle mentioned "I read how to keep house while drowning recently and it's been much more practical for me in terms of actual usable advice." This book has also come up numerous times during National Clean Your Home Month as a helpful guide to cleaning.

@buginateacup said "The year I met my brain is the only one I've read that actually felt like it was making useful suggestions for living with ADHD."

@cabloom said "iampayingattention on Instagram wrote How Not To Fit In."

@grison-in-space said "Do you have any idea how over the top excited I was when I found I Overcame My Autism and All I Got Was This Lousy Anxiety Disorder?"

@doubleminorforroughing wrote "Please read Devon Price. He wants to tear it all down and I love it." I will add that I don't think I've read Laziness Does Not Exist but I have read Price's shortform work extensively and I think he's been very influential in rethinking how we frame laziness and productivity in relation to both work and neurodivergence, so I can second the recommendation.

[covid-safer-hotties]

The US Government Is Shutting Down A Key Covid Website

Tomorrow the US government agency responsible for biomedical and public health research, The National Institutes of Health, will shut down its Covid-19 ‘special populations’ website.

This site hosts a huge amount of information about how to treat covid and long covid in the immunocompromised and in people with HIV, cancer and similar immune supressing conditions - so-called ‘special populations.’

The site is going totally offline.

It’s a shameful dereliction of duty by the NIH which, behind Harvard, is the second largest publisher of biomedical research papers in the world. Doctors and clinicians all over the world use the NIH site for advice and treatment ideas.

And it’s going offline during a massive summer surge of covid infections in the US, a surge that is now topping 1.3 million infections per day. (One of whom was Anthony Fauci, who was infected for the third time last week). A surge killing 750 people a week in the US. Many of whom will be precisely the type of people this website is intended to help clinicians treat.

It’s a scandal.

The message it sends to vulnerable people could hardly be clearer - when it comes to covid, there’s nothing else we can do for you. Sorry. That’s it. We’re done.

It’s so terrifying.

It also sends a terrible signal to the medical community about where we are with covid

and will be materially damaging in efforts to treat vulnerable people, both in the acute stage of the disease and those with long covid.

The move to shut the page down is premised on an entirely false assumption: that we already know everything we’ll ever know about how to manage covid so there’s no point keeping a live web resource because they’ll never be anything to update it with ever again.

This is simply not true. While we know a lot about treating covid four years in, we absolutely do not know everything, not by a long stretch. As evidenced by the hundreds still dying every week in summer 2024. And as for long covid, we know very little about how to treat it. For a start, there is no agreed treatment plan. Absolutely none. But apparently we also know so much about this disease we can start shutting down online resources dedicated to it.

Please imagine for a second if a Trump administration rather than a Biden-Harris administration was doing this.

There would be an outcry.

But this move has so far been greeted by media silence.

It is left to a few disability activists and the covid aware to shout into the social media void.

Not that this is a surprise. This is how it has been for the last two years at least, guided by the business as usual, vax-and-forget strategy. More people have died of covid under the Biden-Harris administration than died under Trump. Despite having vaccines since 2021. You’d never know it by mainstream media coverage.

Some people have written to the director of the NIH, Monica Bertagnolli, and asked them to keep the advice live and up-to-date. If you want to do this her email address is:

monica.bertagnolli@nih.gov

Long Covid Action has archived the site here

Maybe if enough people write to her and enough noise is made the decision will be reversed. Worth a try.

Overall it’s just another grim episode in the handling of the pandemic by the current US administration, an administration who, we should never forget, won power in large part due to the outrage at Trump’s handling of the first nine months of covid.

Solidarity to everyone still trying to protect themselves and their communities from covid against all the odds.

At least we can keep fighting for each other.

[just-antithings]

Anti-ism is psuedoscience and a moral panic rolled into one

One of the most dangerous things about therapyspeak leaving the intended audience is that now antis feel fully qualified to tell survivors how they should and should not be coping, even to the point of attempting to override/contradict the advice of certified therapists.

I've had antis tell me the fiction I enjoy writing is retraumatizing myself, that I am doing harm by writing it; when I responded that actually, my therapist signed off on the stories I wrote (even when I mentioned the specific phrase "consensual nonconsent"), they said that my therapist doesn't know what she's talking about since she sanctioned my coping mechanism and explicitly labels her practice as kink-positive. Antis are attempting to make me, a survivor with mental illness that could ultimately be fatal if I leave a psychologist's care, disregard the advice of the medical professional supervising me when they have no certification at all. This could, if I were a more vulnerable person, be dangerous for not only my trust in my therapist, but it could sabotage my treatment as well.

They are using what amounts to little more than memes, based on misinformation, that use a few intelligent-sounding phrases that very rarely apply the way they think they do, as a wedge to attempt to assert themselves as authorities who can, with certainty, dictate the appropriate course of treatment for a total stranger, including telling them to disregard the therapies administered by a trained professional.

In other words? Antis are frighteningly similar to anti-vaxxers, who took medical terminology they didn't understand, applied it to shaky cause-effect logic models, started a moral panic, used statements generated by that moral panic as a citogenesis-fueled proof their initial starting of the moral panic was justified, damaged the doctor-patient relationship of millions of total strangers, jeopardized the healthcare of those strangers who now believed their doctor to be incompetent for following accepted medical best practice, and fomented dangerous fringe political ideologies that coupled themselves to other conspiracies based on rejecting commonly-acknowledged practices.

"Vaccines cause autism! Narrative therapy that implements any form of controversial kink causes retraumatization of the writer, reader, or both, and starts the writer on an inescapable slippery slope to becoming an abuser themself! It's better to be dead than autistic! It's better to suffer feelings of shame and/or isolation in silence than it is to use fiction to put a voice to your feelings! Your child is vaccine-damaged from thimerosal and is getting sick from virus-shedding! Your fiction caused me to groom myself and you're a porn-addicted monster for not facing your trauma the proper way! Your doctor doesn't know what's good for you, I do! Only I understand how your body/mind work and what treatment is appropriate for you! Your doctor has been manipulated by Big Pharma/kink supporters! The empirical-study-informed best practices for pediatrics/psychology are what's wrong, not me, whose research is carefully informed by TikTok videos and Twitter posts carefully formulated to cause amygdalar growth to keep me afraid so I will continue to engage with fear-mongering content that causes my politics to shift towards the alt-right, who coincidentally also push narratives based in fear, not in medicine! I am being perfectly logical here!"

Antis fundamentally reject empirical medicine just the way anti-vaxxers do. They just seem to get a free pass on it since it's "only" mental healthcare they are sabotaging, and few people acknowledge it as something as legitimate and lifesaving as other medical care.

[tj-crochets]

Today’s crafting update: got another row sewn onto the rainbow triangles quilt top (6/14!), got one of these four baby blankets trimmed to size and pinned, but did not sew any of it I’m counting going to the store to get this fabric as part of my crafting today lol

Baby blankets! The solid colors in the middle will be the backing and trim, and the cute designs will be the focus of each blanket. I’m making four, two each of pink and yellow

[h2llish]

Your requests say semi open and I don’t know if this would count as a headcanon or not so I’m just gonna go for it,, but I read a Vil fic from you and you mentioned how he knows his dorm mates appetites and makes them a meal plan or something similar. I don’t know if that’s canon or not cause I haven’t played that far into the game yet but what if the reader is new to their dorm so Vil tries to figure out their appetite and likes just to realize he’s never actually seen you eat before, even in the cafeteria (maybe just drinks or smoothies from time to time). Not that the reader has a disorder, just that they forgot to eat, is too lazy to, just doesn’t want to eat at that time, mainly eats at night or can just go long hours before feeling hungry. Now I have read your rules but I don’t know if this would count as any mental illness/disorder, so if it does then you can just ignore this and go on with your day. But if this doesn’t then could Vil lowkey observe (or ig just ask) the reader to figure them out or maybe even gain feelings while doing so? Again you can just ignore this if you’re uncomfortable with it but thank you anyways

⁀➷ ˖ LACK OF APPETITE

notes ─── hello dear! it is actually canon that he creates routines and diets for his dormmates, it’s so sweet. anyways, sorry if this took too long but here you go! hope this is to your approval <3

VIL SCHOENHEIT ─── he does his best for all his dormmates, but you make it difficult. ♡ fluff mostly, gender neutral, mentions of not eating, lowercase intended, reader was in heartslabyul before they transferred, hints at feelings during the end

vil liked to pride himself in his ability to help his dormmates become the best version of themselves. he was careful and observant ─ meticulous in how he created diets and routines that worked best for every person in his dorm. everyone had their own diet, their own skincare routine, it was different for everyone. vil would spend nights in his room or the commons, noting down what certain students could and couldn’t eat, adding in allergies and current medical status. he wanted everyone to be their best self and that started with a routine.

but not many knew about his late planning, how much effort he put into making sure his dormmates felt confident in who they were and were healthy while doing so. pomefiore dorm residents complained. vil didn’t often hear them but he knew, but he couldn’t be upset about it, they followed his advice either way ─ he didn’t care if they hated him in the process. 

everyone in his dorm had a routine, a diet, even the freshmen he had spent a few late nights working hard to create a fitting diet for. ─ well, everyone did, that is, until you, a junior recently transferred from heartslabyul, came to his dorm. vil did what he always did when it came to creating a diet for his dormmates. but after many nights of a lack of development in his notes about you, creating a diet for you proved, simply put, difficult. 

if vil hadn’t seen you bite into the occasional apple slices or drink a small smoothie every once in a while, he would almost be under the impression you didn’t eat at all ─ which is ridiculous, but one can’t blame him when he hardly sees you pick up food, even as you sit in the cafeteria, scrolling through your phone and sitting with trey and cater as they ate their own lunch. neither of them seemed fazed by your lack of lunch, hardly batting an eye when you joined them and began a conversation. even when you denied an apple from trey, they didn’t seem all that concerned.

vil can admit he was starting to grow concerned the longer he watched this lack of routine in your diet. this was not good for your health ─ not eating. although you didn't look to be lacking nutrition, that didn't do much to sway vil’s concern for one of pomefiore’s residents.

vil was not one to dwell, if he had a question then he would simply ask.

that moment came after he had not seen you at dinner once more, despite you being one of the four in charge of dinner duty that night. ─ he asked the three dorm residents who were on cooking duty with you, and they shrugged, commenting that you said you “just weren’t all that hungry”. a repeating response you often give around breakfast and dinner time. ─ and vil thought it to be a good time to voice his concern with your lack of eating, so he began his way to your room.

“housewarden?” you asked with a bit of surprise, blinking at the actor who had just knocked on your door. you narrowed your eyes with confusion, and a little bit of concern, wondering if you had done something wrong, or if you had forgotten something. “is everything alright?”

vil nodded, quickly cutting to the chase of his visit before you could ask any more questions, “i have a concern, so if you could answer me truthfully, it would be appreciated.”

you blinked at him again, confusion visible in your expression as you repeated his words, “a concern?” you scratched your cheek awkwardly, releasing the hold you had on your bedroom door after opening it to his knocking before. “okay, sure.”

“[name],” he said your name rather sternly, “have you been eating properly?”

you let out a noise that sounded almost like a huh. you half expected this concern to be about your grades or school conduct (not that either were a cause for concern. you think). but to hear him ask about eating habits ─ wait, did he learn about the late nights you would sneak into the kitchen to make you food? you thought you were being careful! did rook find out? that hat wearing vice housewarden did always seem to know everything but would he snitch on you if he discovered your secret? trey was always more lenient back in heartslabyul, even when he would stumble upon you casually cooking a grilled cheese in the dark. perhaps you shouldn't have assumed rook would be the same (but trey also said he'd probably stay quiet if he did find you.)

“what do you mean?” you asked, hoping you weren't about to get in trouble for your late night snacking (snacking would really be an understatement, sometimes you'd cook yourself a complete meal).

“you’ve only been here for two weeks and yet you've skipped every breakfast and dinner, always with the same excuse.” he explained, to which you pursed your lips. “you also don't eat lunch, to my knowledge, even when you sit with your old dormmates. so, i ask again, are you eating properly?”

you were surprised, effectively caught off guard by your new housewardens confrontation. ─ “ah, shit.” you gasped, covering your mouth after the slip of the tongue, “i’m so sorry, housewarden.”

but vil didn't seem to bat an eye at your words, “if you struggle with food─.”

“it’s not like that!” you quickly interrupted him, before scrambling to apologize for doing so, “i’m sorry, but that's not it all.” 

your words gained you a look from vil that clearly held the question “then what is it?”. you sighed and your shoulders slumped ─ you never quite liked explaining your odd eating habits (or lack-there-of), because no one ever understood and always told you, you needed to stop. but it's not your fault!

but vil showed a concern, and you didn't want your eating habits to be mistaken for something more. ─ so you broke into a ramble of an explanation. 

“i do eat! swear., i actually think i eat pretty well!” you looked at your housewarden with an almost awkward grin, hoping that would be the end of it. but when that didn't seem to be a satisfactory answer for vil, you sighed and crossed your arms, and found yourself continuing into a familiar explanation.

"i don’t have a problem with eating. I’m just not usually hungry in the mornings so i just don't eat. but i do make myself food to have between my classes. but then i’m not hungry by lunch so i don't eat. and about dinner, i know i skip it, but i eat, just well, when everyone is asleep.” you scratched your cheek again, almost smiling embarrassingly as you added, “and uhm, well, sometimes, y’know, i forget.”

vil was silent for a moment, nodding slowly, “i see. i’m relieved to know you do eat.” you nodded and smiled at your new housewarden, but that smile faded when he looked back at you with a stern glare, “but, we do need to talk about this. it isn't very healthy.”

you frowned, “we do?”

vil was relieved to know you did eat ─ although you lacked a routine, you at least weren't unhealthy by going without food. but he certainly didn't enjoy finding out that there were moments eating simply crossed your mind, and you went without doing so. nor was he happy when he learned you would spend nights sneaking around the dorm to cook yourself something to eat or take something from the fridge to quickly snack on.

with the news of your rather not-so-ideal eating habits, he brought up helping you create a proper routine (and with it, a healthy, more steady diet), offering to create a process that would help you build one slowly, to your own rhythm. 

and you did agree, although, maybe with some hesitance. ─ you have tried giving yourself a routine, knowing that your habits weren't so ideal (especially forgetting to eat until the clock struck two and you were hit by the empty grumble of your stomach). but you ultimately, always failed. 

and so that's how you found yourself with a written schedule, one that explained your choice breakfast. a choice to eat between classes so that you will at least have energy to eat lunch, as well as dinner choices if you don't eat what was made. none of them were extreme, you noticed ─ vil had truly taken into account everything you told him. ─ your lack of appetite in the morning being one.

“good morning, [name].” you were greeted by the actor upon entering the dining room of pomefiore, many of your fellow dorm residents already sitting at the table. “will you be joining us? there's apples and other fruits on the table.” ─ and on the table there was a bowl of selections between fruits, something small but food nonetheless. 

“oh, sure!” you smiled, following your housewarden as he led you to the others. ─ a first small step to the beginning of a routine.

it was not easy to get used to a new routine, one that changed with your progress. ─ two weeks in, you did sit with your dormmates at breakfast, but always chose to eat a fruit or something else that was small (and vil approved). you still lack an appetite in the morning, and you doubted that would change. and then there was lunch ─ there were times you didn't eat, simply forgetting to grab a lunch as you greeted your friends. and then come dinner time, it was similar to lunch, forgetting and moving on to your room to study or entertain yourself until vil came to get you with a sigh.

but vil seemed to understand, even offering to remind you if it ever seemed like you were going to forget to eat again. 

this all inevitably led to more time spent with your housewarden ─ more than you had ever spent with riddle back in heartslabyul. and you learned about vil much like he learned about you.

vil schoenheit was a man who enjoyed routine in terms of skin and diets ─ he wanted the best for those around them. he was concerned for you and your eating habits (or perhaps rather, lack of), so he did his best to help you ─ to help you make a healthier, less worrying habit of diet. 

“housewarden!” 

vil paused, turning away from rook, who he was just conversing with to face the familiar voice. you waved and smiled at vil and and pomefiore’s vice housewarden as you approached, just before stopping in front of them. 

“hello, [name].” vil greeted.

“are you guys going to the cafeteria?” a nod from vil only kept your grin on your face, “mind if i join you guys?” 

vil looked back at his friend, who obviously held no objections to the new addition to their duo, smiling an all too familiar smile. he turned back to you with another nod, “not at all.”

“great!” you almost skipped alongside him as the three of you set out for the cafeteria, with you and rook breaking into easy conversation.

you eventually turned away from the hat wearing eccentric and towards your housewarden, humming, “say, have you heard what the ghosts will be be having today?” 

“a most favored sandwhich is on the menu!” rook answered for vil, and you turned to him, blinking. “but i fear we may be too late to get one of our own.”

“awe,” you sighed, “that’s too bad, i kinda wanted a sandwich for lunch today. maybe they'll have other choices.” 

vil looked at you after your comment, and smiled, “you’ll be eating lunch today, [name]?”

“yeah! a sandwich, probably. what do you think?” you looked at vil with a smile that didn't hide your own pride in yourself. you were happy to have found an appetite for lunch, (and remembered too!).

“that's good. i’m sure they'll have good choices to choose from. they often do.” vil nodded, and you lit up at the praise in his words ─ and vil was proud, glad you were finally going to eat something that wasn't just a smoothie and an apple. ─ you were making progress.

perhaps he'll have a sandwich as well.

this was fun and relatable. i forget to eat or just don't eat at a time one would think you should. or just lack an appetite. i need vil </3

sorry if there's any mistakes. i proofread this late at night.

do not repost, translate, copy or run my writing through an ai

[hirsheyskisses]

OP Boys: Special Hugs (#1)

Luffy & Zoro

(Short Scenario)

Monkey D. Luffy

☆ Honestly, he's a hugger. Let's be real here, Maybe not like, the INSTANT he meets you, but the moment you are on his crew (trust me.. you'll get on the crew..) you are one of the many subjects of his physical contact

☆ a lot of times it may come off as way too energetic, arms being thrown around you or pulling you around, man's has no sense of a personal bubble

☆ but it gets (worse? Better? You don't know) when feelings get involved. If he didn't make it blatantly obvious he liked you, then you're either the densest person on the planet, or Luffy is horrible at flirting

☆ Let's be real here, it's probably both

☆ There is no escaping at that point.

"Hey! Where'd (Name) go?!"

Luffy questioned. He'd been searching on the Sunny forever, yet he couldn't find you! He'd checked the kitchen, your room, the pantry, the crows nest..

"(Name)? I think they're down in the medical bay with Chopper. They looked a bit under the weather." Nami didn't even spare him a glance: she was so focused on her map he was partially surprised she answered. But that was fine, because Luffy was focused too!

"(NAME)-"

He threw open the door to the medical bay, only to find you on the bed and leaning against the wall. Chopper looked up frantically and put his paws up, "they're sick! You shouldn't come in here-" "hey, Luffy." You rasped, and offered him a weak smile. Luffy completely ignored Choppers advice and ran to your side, protectively wrapping his arms around you.

"You're sickkkk? That sucks.. Chopper will make ya feel better though! Should we give them some meat?!"

You chuckled as you attempted to remove yourself from his grasp while Chopper sighed, "no, they need soft food! And you should leave Luffy, or you may get sick too!"

As if for the strict purpose of defying Chopper, his grip only tightened. "No! They need comfort.."

It wasn't as though you were complaining, his warmth was nice..

So Chopper made you up some medicine, after having giving up trying to make Luffy leave, and left the two of you.

"(Name).. you need anything?"

"No.. thank you."

His voice held genuine concern and your heart ached, knowing just how much the Captain cared for you. After a moment, you snuggled in closer. "'S cold." You slurred, arms wrapping around his torso whilst your head buried into his chest.

He took the hint, arm stretching across the room to grab an extra blanket. His hands worked the blanket around your body until you were tucked like a happy burrito, leaving him and you satisfied.

"..thanks, Luffy."

"Shishishishi! Anytime!" He laughed, taking his hat off and plopping it on your head.

Luffy began to talk for hours, about adventures they'd had before you'd join the crew, excitedly re-telling fights and funny stories from the crew. For a while, you were distracted from the discomfort of sickness, until you and him both fell asleep.

...it's safe to say he'd demand more cuddles after that. (Somehow.. he just doesn't get sick..l

Roronoa Zoro

♡ to be perfectly frank, he's not that much of a hugger. He's only hugged two crewmates, and that's Chopper and Luffy. Even for those two, its a rarity.

♡ but having been on the crew since the near beginning, your friendship with zoro was beginning to have a bit more connection than he ever intended to have.

♡ so came fourth of him asking (almost forcing) you to nap with him. At first, you just sat next to him, not really sleeping.

♡ honestly it was kinda funny. You'd both pretend to be asleep so the crew would give you guys some- half peace for a bit. You used to think it was dumb, but seeing as all the others (save for Nami) believed it, well..

♡ it became tradition

♡ sometimes when you both were a little down, he'd give you an awkward side hug, always looking so flustered afterwards, and it's just the cutest

♡ however, he soon finds a type of hug he really likes..

"That was some fight."

Zoro grunted, and you nodded in agreement. You two were the first to head back to the Sunny, to make sure it wasn't unattended for too long. Seeing as Zoro had no injuries and yours were very minor, you were best suited for the job.

"I'm beat, though. Those marines just kept coming.."

"You did good out there."

He replied, plopping on the deck and motioning for you to do the same, and you did. Sitting besides Zoro with a wince, "I let the one get a good hit on me.. need to work on that." You rubbed your side, and he glanced at you, "you can train with me later." He laid a hand on your head, smiling at you. Oh, that handsome swordsman has your heart, and you poked his cheek. "You better not go easy on me!" "Wouldn't dream of it, (Name)."

"I'm definitely going to be a sore fucker tomorrow, though."

He snickered and ruffled your hair, and you stuck your tongue out at him, "you won't let it happen again. That's all that matters- pain is a learning experience."

"Yeah yeah, ya old wise man."

"I am not old!"

"Yuh-huh, that's what an old person would say."

"Says the one complaining about aches in their bones-"

"I got hit by a very, very large stick-"

"...did you forget the word for staff?"

"...shut up, Mossbrain."

His mouth opened in a yawn, and you half followed suit. The bantering slowly subsided, and his hands unconsciously dropped to your shoulder, then slid down your back, holding you to his side.

If he did that intentionally, he didn't show it. His eyes had long since shut, and you were very familiar with how quickly he could conk out. A few moments of hesitation held you, before you wrapped your arms around his torso, a leg over his, and snuggled into his chest. His other arm moved to hold you, and,

"Ya better not plan on moving anytime soon.."

Lucky for him, you didn't.

So this became his favorite cool down after a fight.

Nami however, was not thrilled that the two people who were supposed to watch the ship fell asleep. RIP.

[k-tarotz]

PAC : 10 Facts About Your Future Spouse

This is intended to be about a life long partner, so future spouse, soulmate, your forever. Whatever you would like to call it, marriage isn’t necessary here if you aren’t fond of the idea. Look at it as your end game. You can use this for your next partner, although keep in mind it could be less accurate that way.

ONE TWO THREE

disclaimer: our readings are for entertainment purposes only. they are not a replacement for medical, psychological or any kind of professional advice. this is for fun, not to be taken seriously. any choices made based of our readings are your responsibility.

🪁 thank you for reading and have fun!

Pile One

ace of pentacles, the lovers, two of swords

very competitive

playful

romantic

sensitive

indecisive

easily anxious (might have anxiety)

courageous

successful in whatever they try

flirty

very charming

Pile Two

page of pentacles, knight of swords, six of swords

intelligent finance wise

impulsive

might have anger issues (for some of you)

good at self reflection

knows when to be serious

really straightforward

natural born leader

has a really strong sense of morals

likes to be complimented

generally really calm/quite

Pile Three

the fool, the empress, knight of cups

naive

gentle

motherly

romantic

has really big dreams

might be a bit unrealistic at times

takes other peoples burdens on themselves

very empathetic

has a pretty voice/smile

really gentle and kind

thank you for reading! we appreciate your time 🫶🏻

- Candy

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

My dear lgbt+ kids,

It's difficult to write anything about the safety of Pride events without either greatly downplaying or exaggerating the potential risks of attending.

This is, at least partly, an online issue: the internet is international but there’s no international standard of safety for lgbt+ people. Someone reading this blog may be from a country where Pride events are generally safe and counterprotests are uncommon (or at least stay small and nonviolent) - but it'd be grossly negligent of me to pretend that this is true for everyone everywhere.

On top of those differences by country or location, there’s also individual safety concerns. Some things may pose a potential risk to certain groups or individuals while other people are unlikely to be negatively affected by them. This includes factors like crowds, loud music, exposure to alcohol or drugs etc. but also factors like the risk of being seen by someone who knows you or the risk of racist or antisemitic attacks etc.

All this is to say: I will happily share some general advice on safety with you – but if you’re trying to make a personal decision regarding the safety of attending Pride (regardless of whether that is “Is it safe for me to attend an event at all?” or just “How can I prepare for an event, so it’s as comfortable and fun as possible for me?”), don’t rely solely on me… or on any one voice you hear online. They may be in a totally different situation than you and inadvertently give you a totally wrong picture of it!

Tip Number One actually ties in with everything I said above: do you have friends (or other trusted people) who have attended Pride in your area before? If so, they may be a more reliable source of advice than a stranger online! Maybe you could even ask them to come along? Having an experienced Pride-goer with you is one of the best ways to ensure a safe and comfortable experience.

Other tips and pieces of advice that may be helpful:

Look the location up before you arrive: Which public transport stations are nearby? Where would you go if you need to buy a quick snack? Are there public toilets available? Where’s the nearest hospital or emergency room? Also note your surroundings when you arrive: Where are the exits? Are there any easily recognizable spots you could look for if you get lost? Where will you meet up with your friends or group if you accidentally get separated from them? 

Make a plan beforehand and share it with at least one trusted person. Let them know where you are going, who you are going with, how you plan to get there and back home (public transit, your own car, your friend’s car etc.) and when you intend to be back home. Make sure to keep them updated on any changes in your plans and ask them to check in regularly. Also agree on what they should do if they haven’t heard from you at the agreed time.

If you go with a friend or a group, agree beforehand how you’ll handle potential scenarios: what if one person wants to go home and the other(s) want to stay? What if one of you gets separated from the other(s)? (Don’t rely solely on texting/calling each other in such cases (phones can unexpectedly die, get lost, get stolen, have no cell service etc.))

Pride events often take place in summer, so make sure to keep sun/heat safety in mind! Wear sunscreen, stay hydrated, don't overexhaust yourself in hot weather and read up on the symptoms of (and first aid for) heat exhaustion.

If you want to stay safe and alert, your best bet is to stay sober. Don’t drink alcohol or take drugs. (If you do plan to do either of these things, then please keep basic harm reduction measures in mind: don’t drink on an empty stomach, don’t mix alcohol and meds, have at least one person in your group who stays sober, don’t drink & drive etc.) 

Make sure to take everything with you that you may need, such as a water bottle, snacks, any necessary medications, face masks, first aid supplies, a portable charger for your phone, emergency contact info (written down in case your phone dies), sunscreen etc.

Learn your rights when it comes to getting stopped by police (Make sure that what you read up on is actually true for your country and is up to date).

Read up on safety precautions for chemical irritation if the use of pepper spray/tear gas is a concern in your area. Same goes for active shooter situations. It may be a worst case scenario but it’s better to read up beforehand if it’s something you worry about.

Don’t engage with counterprotesters. Even if they seem nonviolent, keep in mind that they may just be waiting for you to provoke them, so they can “justify” escalating to violence. Just keep your distance, don’t talk to them, don’t let them bait you into conversation. 

Lastly, you want to keep everyone else safe too, so: make sure you don’t accidentally out anyone. Pride is supposed to be a safe space. Don’t take pictures of strangers, don’t upload anything on social media that shows anyone’s face or name if you didn’t get explicit permission to do so. 

With all my love,

Your Tumblr Dad

[earl-grey-teacake]

The Heart Remembers- Baby!Loscar AU WIP

It’s been so long since I have written a fic for Baby!Loscar and this is one I fully intend to get out in the next week or two. So enjoy and let me know what you think

****************

Retrograde amnesia: The inability to access memories previous to a traumatic brain injury

That’s what the doctors at the hospital told him as he sat in the hospital bed. However, George couldn’t think of a single thing in his life he might have forgotten. He was an F1 driver. He drove for Mercedes. He lives in Monaco. What else was in his life?

He had thought it was an elaborate prank until he realized that even Alex would not go so far with his pranks, nor have the ability to drag doctors and medical professionals into it. Alex, seemed the most shaken up about the whole ordeal. They were still friends after all their years racing together, he made sure to confirm that when Alex came rushing in. It seems they had even gone as far as to get matching rings, no doubt a cheap thing, an inside joke he must have forgotten about. They might have gotten it to spite the FIA and whatever strange ban they were trying to implement.

Then there was the little, blonde haired boy that Alex had come running in with when he had first woken in. The kid had run up to him shouting “daddy” and given him a hug. He thought it was a joke, a kid Alex had bribed to play a joke on his amnesiac friend.

“I’m not your dad. I’m not even married.” He had replied laughing as the color drained out of Alex’s face.

After an hour of tests and questions and poking and prodding, they diagnosed him with retrograde amnesia. Apparently, he had forgotten major milestones of the last five years. He forgot he was married to Alex, that they even got married and had a wedding in the first place. He also forgot he had a child, a son that Alex said was named Logan.

He didn’t even see the child since that incident in the hospital. “He’s on summer break and so are we. However, he still had karting so Max has been taking him to practice.”

“Oh, is he good?” George asked. Alex hasn’t smiled much since he’s been in the hospital which made George’s heart feel a certain way, but he always smiled when talking about his kid.

“Yeah, really good.” Alex smiled, clearly hoping that George’s asking must be a sign. “Max says he has strong pace.”

“Is Max hard on him?” George was very familiar with Jos’s treatment.

“No, nothing like that. Max is a big softie when it comes to Logan, he can’t bring himself to yell at Logan. Not that anyone else would even let him.” George smiled a bit, it’s good the kid had kind adults supporting him.

“Would you like to go see him race?” Alex asked.

“Uhm,” George paused. “I’m not sure. I don’t think I can provide anymore advice than what Max and the others are giving.”

Alex stared at him wide eyed before something in him seemed to retreat back, and he started to play with his ring. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Lewis, Nico Rosberg, and Jenson are all at the track today to cheer Logan on. It would be pretty crowded.”

Alex kindly left out the fact that Logan had cried the whole week for George, talking about how his dad had promised to go see him race today. But George wasn’t cleared to leave the hospital yet, that his brain needed to get acclimated to the info of having a husband and kid and that he was missing memories of all 4 years of his kid’s life. Alex wanted so desperately to tell George about how Logan was such a kind and gentle kid. How he begged Alex to “stay with Dad, he might be lonely” and that he wasn’t disappointed because Uncle Max and Uncle Uncle Charles and Uncle Carlos and Uncle Lando, and Oscar would come out to cheer him on. That he’ll be okay since Uncle Lewis, Uncle Nico, and Uncle Jenson would be coming by to see him race and they rarely get the chance to see him race.

**********

I hope you liked it! Let me know what you think ❤️

[bigboysdrinkmilk]

📌 Pinned Post 📌

Welcome to Bigboysdrinkmilk’s Tumblr, where I post gym progress pics and shitposts. That’s it.

Want to donate to my growth? Gains are expensive:

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Feel free to send asks, anon or not, or DM with messages! I’m friendly but generally slow to respond. Mobile users, find commonly used tags in the tags in this post.

About Me/FAQ:

Name: Roman

Age: 31

Gender: Male (He/Him)

Sexuality: Gay/Queer/Poly

Location: Seattle, Washington

“Will you give me gym advice?”: I’m happy to share my experiences or opinions, but I am not a certified personal trainer and what I do or what works for me may not work for you.

“Want some nudes?”: My DMs are always open but I have a very active and fulfilling sex life out in the real world and don’t necessarily have the energy to be horny on here all that often.

“Why aren’t you answering my ask?”: This could be for a variety of reasons, including: you asked personal information or medical advice, the ask was in response to something that was too distant time wise, you were insulting or negging or otherwise being strange, I’ve already answered the question recently, I missed it, or it was really sweet and I’m keeping it in my inbox to hold on to. Feel free to ask again, but certain things don’t get responses.

“I don’t like what you’re posting.”: Cool. No need to announce your departure. I tag clumps of posts that may clog up people’s dash, usually with something like #ask or #tumblrgames. If that solves your issue, great! If not, the unfollow button is right over there.

“Have you ever committed a felony? Do you intend to commit a felony? Are you committing a felony right now?”: Babygirl, we don’t know each other that way. And what are you, a cop?

“What’s your workout routine?”: I rotate through sets of three day splits in a six days on one day off pattern so that different muscle group combos are hit in various arrangements with each group being hit twice a week. It’s overly complicated and not what I’d say other people should do. If you’re asking what I recommend to other people, Push-Pull-Legs is great for beginners and intermediate lifters, alike.

[leighsartworks216]

Doctor, Doctor

Zayne & gn!Reader

Shoutout to everyone who's ever been fucked over by the healthcare industry

Also yes it's another medical Zayne fic shut up

Warnings: medical trauma, hospital, anxiety, swearing, crying

Word Count: 1,158

Main Masterlist

Love and Deepspace Masterlist

AO3

Tag List Form

You take a deep breath before knocking on the door. When you walked into the hospital with an entire 3-ring binder full of papers, the nurse had given you a sympathetic look.

For years, years of your life, all your symptoms, all your health issues, anything even tangentially related to being medical, was ignored - or worse, mistreated. Doctors who would take one look at you and dismiss you without hearing a single word of why you scheduled an appointment in the first place. Doctors who brushed it off as anxiety or told you to work out more. Doctors who failed you. Over and over, constantly driving you to this point in your life.

You’d cried when putting together this binder, terrified that it wouldn’t be enough. Detailed lists of symptoms and when you experienced them. Lists of test results from every time you were told to do a blood test. Medication you’d been put on or other stupid advice you’d been told. Anything you could think of, it was in there.

“Come in.”

If this didn’t work, you were completely out of options.

You push open the door. Dr. Zayne is at his desk, typing something into the monitor. He glances over. It’s the only sign he’s acknowledged you at all when he goes back to typing.

The door closes behind you with a gentle click. Before you can chicken out, be the perfect docile patient doctors love to laugh at behind closed doors for being paranoid, you cross the distance and drop the binder onto the desk. Admittedly, it lands more harshly than you intended. You wince. He stops his typing.

He slides it over to himself, flipping open the top cover to reveal all the documents inside.

“It’s a log of my symptoms over the last few months,” you explain quickly. The room is cool, comfortable, but you feel like a fire is slowly cooking you alive the longer you stand there and watch him flip through. “A-And all the tests doctors in the past have had me do, and prescriptions and… advice.”

His face is hard to read. He frowns in concentration as he flips through, not reading each page in its entirety but skimming through to get the gist of all the information. He skips from the log to the tests. He lingers on these a bit longer, scanning each line of the results for anything abnormal or unusual that could account for the symptoms you’ve described. He barely glances over the final section, but he frowns deeper when he sees “Lose weight” among the shortlist of dismissive comments.

“Most new patients just introduce themselves.”

Heat rushes to your cheeks. “Please. I have tried just about every doctor in every clinic, hospital, and treatment center in Linkon. If you can’t help me, then I won’t be your patient for very long anyway.”

He finally looks up at you. You wonder what he must think, seeing this crazy person with this huge catalog of things wrong with you.

He gestures to the stool beside him. “Sit.” He turns to face the stool, putting the earpieces of his stethoscope in his ears. You stare at him for a moment, at a loss. He glances up at you. “I’ll help you, but I need a baseline to start with first.”

Doubt starts bubbling in your stomach. If he’s just going to check you over, give you a lab for more bloodwork, and tell you to get some rest…

You reluctantly sit down.

He presses the stethoscope to your chest. His eyes look beside you, staring off as he focuses on the sound of your lungs and heart. You’re all too conscious of how you breathe; how long you hold each breath for, how quickly you inhale and exhale.

“Your heart is beating quite fast,” he points out.

You fight not to laugh. Obviously, it’s beating fast; you’re putting the quality of the rest of your life in the hands of another fucking doctor who may treat it with the same care and consideration as a bruised banana peel. Of course your heart is beating fast! You’re fucking terrified!

When he finally pulls away, he turns to his computer monitor again. A document for your file in the hospital’s system takes up the screen. His fingers tap away quickly to fill in a few boxes of data.

“What do you think is wrong with you?” he asks suddenly.

You frown. “What do you mean ‘what do I think is wrong with me’? I just gave you a whole list of shit wrong with me.”

He turns back to you, shaking his head. “You misunderstand me. With this amount of documentation, I’ve no doubts that you’ve done research into figuring out your condition, correct? I’m curious to hear what you think it could be.”

Your anger withers under his gaze. Conflicts war within you.

Is he asking just so he can dismiss them all so he can make himself feel smarter than you?

Or is he asking because he really wants to know what you think is wrong, so he can begin helping you?

It’s hard to tell. He’s almost completely unreadable to you.

He flips the binder back to your daily log, reading it over while you try to gauge what his intentions are.

“I… didn’t look into it,” you lie.

He glances at you from the corner of his eye. “Really? Then why have you gone through the effort of listing your symptoms in medical terms?” He points to one of the logs, just one of many where you’ve substituted the weaker-sounding complaints so they can be taken more seriously by a doctor who would understand what they mean.

He faces you again. You think it’s sympathy that flickers in his eyes, the way it had with the receptionist. His piercing gaze makes you want to look away, it’s so intense.

“As my patient, for however long you choose to remain in my care, your wellbeing is of the utmost importance to me. These concerns are impacting you enough to log everything and jump between healthcare providers for a solution. As such, it is my duty to help you figure out what is causing you such distress, and work with you to find the methods you need to mitigate its effects.” He tilts his head slightly. “Does that sound agreeable to you?”

Your chest is tight with overwhelming emotion. He actually wants to listen to you. To work with you to figure out what’s wrong. Tears burn at your eyes before you can stop them. You nod as you wipe them away.

He doesn’t seem to judge you for your emotions at all. He simply rolls over toward the counter of drawers behind him to retrieve a box of tissues, and places them down in front of you. You grab a couple to clean your face.

“Now, let’s start with what you’ve researched and go from there.”

---

Tag List:

@the-golden-jhope @huen1ngk41 @armycaratlover @cheesemachine44

[feelbokkie]

L♡VE IN F♡CUS | Chapter 17

PAIRING: idol!Changbin x fem reader

WARNINGS: swearing, emotional breakdown

GENRE: smau, crack, angst, fluff

P♡V: 1st/2nd person (depending on how you view it)

SUMMARY: Amateur concert photographer Y/n has recently been promoted to junior music journalist. Her first assignment? An exposé on the popular Kpop boy group, Stray Kids. Spending an entire tour doing in depth interviews with eight men seems simple enough, but one member isn't exactly open to the idea. Will Y/n be able to break down the walls around his heart, or will her big break turn into a big disaster?

TAGLIST: open

W♡RD C♡UNT: 1,539

SCREENSH♡T C♡UNT: 9

PREVIOUS | MASTERLIST | NEXT

©feelbokkie (2024) — all rights reserved. reposting/modification of any kind is not tolerated.

Exhausted and in pain, you drag your feet across the floor as you scan the hotel room number.

Against medical advice, you ended up on a flight to Chile. The soonest the airport would let you on a flight after getting your cast on was 48 hours. Even then, you had to take a longer trip with multiple stops rather than one to reduce the stress on your body. Luckily for you, the kids flew to Chile a few days before the second leg of the tour started because of projects they were working on. Meaning that you arrived before the first show.

Wonseok and Frankie weren't happy when you told them you were still planning on going. They spent the two days you were home resting trying to convince you to take more time off. Under normal circumstances, you'd listen to them. If your sister hadn't called you the day before asking for money to help your mother and the rest of the family, you would be at home resting until you could get back to work.

Yet, because life doesn't work out the way you want it to, here you are 38 hours later jet-lagged with a throbbing arm and head trying to find room 148.

You've spent the past few days replaying the events of the airport in your head. It's all could do. You've been too tired or in too much pain to work. It all happened before you even realized what was happening. One second you were taking pictures of the kids while they were walking through the airport, the next you were on the ground with a searing pain coursing through your arm. You were pulled up before you could process the sudden crowd of people and all of the pushing and shoving and shouting from fans and other media professionals. You were pulled up from the ground before you could hurt more. Everything is such a blur, that you can't even remember who helped you.

"Noona?" A familiar voice rings through the hallway.

You set your rolling bag upright in the middle of the hallway as you lock eyes with Changbin. You adjust your backpack over your good arm and watch as Changbin types something into his phone and closes the door to his hotel room. After a moment, he looks up and stares at you, his brows drawing closer in concern.

"What are you doing here?" His words come out slowly, chosen with care and caution.

"Tour officially starts tomorrow, where else would I be?"It came out a bit more serious than you intended it to be.

“Back in Seoul,” Changbin scoffs, his eyes widen in disbelief. His phone chimes a few times before he types something again and then slides it into his pocket. “Honestly noona, you make Seungmin look like a slacker.”

“Well, some of us can’t afford to take time off.”

“You got hurt while working. You’d be taking time to heal, not going on vacation.” The phone in his pocket continues to chime, but with his eyes trained on you he ignores it.

You rubbed your eyes aggressively as if that might clear the heaviness from them. You’re too tired to argue with him and yet you still have an overwhelming urge to justify your actions. To validate them, mostly for Changbin to understand but also for a small part of you deep down that’s trying to understand exactly why you’re there now. “Can we do this later? I’m tired and I don’t feel good,”

“You’d be less tired and feel a lot better in your own bed,” Changbin says gently.

“Don’t you think I know that?” You snap. You’re not sure why, maybe it’s the tone in his voice. How his words come off a little condescending. Or maybe you’re so exhausted and used to how the two of you used to be on each other’s bad side, but something about what he said sets you off.

“Look, I don’t want to be here either. I just got done with 3 flights totaling 37 hours—not including layovers. My body hurts from sitting in stiff seats that I couldn’t recline because I didn’t want to be rude even though one flight had a screaming baby and another one had a kid kicking my seat for most of it. And my arm was throbbing so much that I thought it was going to explode mid-flight." You speak quietly, unable, it seems, to put any more effort into being louder. Changbin maintains gentle eye contact while waiting patiently through silence, his features softening from his usual sharp lines as he watches you carefully.

"I wish I could stay home, resting in my bed so I can heal properly. But I can't afford to do that because my boss depends on me. And on top of that, my family--despite me being the youngest with parents and siblings who are very much capable--rely on me. And the only time they remember I exist is when they need or want something, despite being the least favorite." A flicker of recognition crosses Changbin's eyes as you speak. You're oversharing more than you intend. With your level of exhaustion, you're unable to properly filter your words and prevent further word vomit from spewing out of your mouth.

As you speak the words that have been dwelling inside you for months--years even--they linger in the air, somehow heavier than they were before as they suck the oxygen out of the room and weigh down on you. Thick and heavy, your thoughts force you back into your own head, almost as if building a wall between you and Changbin. You don't notice, how much closer Changbin is than he was before. He didn't even notice at first how he seemed to inch closer to you the more you talked. Or how much his hand twitches while resting at his side, unsure of its own actions.

You rub your eyes aggressively once more--so hard you see little stars. You don't register how wet your hand is as you pull your hand away. You do, however, feel a dry lump in your throat as you try to breathe. Finally feeling pin pricks on the back of your eyes, your good arm covers your eyes as you try to choke back the sob threatening to escape your lips. You try to take one deep breath to calm yourself down to no avail. Unable to keep it together any longer, a choked cry escapes you. And then another, and another until you're full-on sobbing.

"I-I'm just so fucking tired," You gasp between sobs, barely able to catch the breath needed for the next.

Changbin's hands hover uncertainly before they gently graze your good arm, softly urging you to put it down. When you refuse, protecting whatever shred of dignity you have left, he places a firm grip on your wrist and slowly pulls your arm down. You're forced to make direct eye contact with Changbin, who is now staring at you with such tenderness that it hurts. His gaze studies you carefully, almost like he's trying to read you before his arms wrap around you.

Being mindful of your broken arm, his grip around you is firm. The scent of his cologne fills your nose, giving you a warm sense of comfort as your face is pressed against his chest. You can't help but cry harder as he murmurs soft words of comfort into your ear while his hands move in small, unconscious gestures of comfort on your back and head.

"It's okay, noona," He mumbles quietly.

"Bin, I told you to stop talking to her," Chan's panicked voice comes up behind you.

"I did," Changbin breathes, "This is about something else, hyung."

You grip Changbin's shirt and bury your face deeper into his chest. It's bad enough he has to see you like this, you're not going to let anyone else.

"You're fine, noona," He whispers to you. "She just needs some rest. She's had a long day."

"Let's get her to her room," Chan says quickly. Changbin's grip around you tightens again as Chan approaches the two of you.

"I got her, hyung. Can you just open her door? Her key is on the floor."

Chan presses his lips together before grabbing your room key from the floor. A weight is physically lifted from your shoulder as Chan grabs your backpack and slings it over his shoulder. He stumbles for a moment, caught off guard by how heavy your backpack is, before grabbing your carry suitcase and walking down the hall to find your room.

Changbin loosens his grip on you, allowing some air to go to your lungs. The atmosphere around you feels a bit lighter, having been absorbed by Changbin and his hug it appears. The heavy words slowly but surely dissipate from the air the more you stand there, listening to Changbin's strong, steady heartbeat. He pulls your head off his chest and watches you for a moment. His hand slides forward from the back of your head, resting on your cheek for a moment before the pad of his thumb breaks the flow of now-silent tears falling from your eyes.

"I got you, Y/n,"

—

Buy me a coffee?

—

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[amourdivine]

𝐏𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐀 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃 🤍 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐃𝐎𝐄𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐒.𝐏. 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐊 & 𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐋 𝐓𝐎𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔?

Hello, lovelies! This was a suggested reading from a dear anonymous.  It had a more romantic subtext, but I hope you take out what resonates & leave what doesn’t! If you have any more suggestions, so let me know! Feedback is always welcome. If you liked this reading, please consider booking a paid reading or tipping me at @ amourdivinetarot@gmail.com! xo. ♡

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how to choose your pile.  take deep breaths for a few minutes & look at each and every one of the piles separately. see which one brings you to a feeling, a place or a memory. take your time and feel free to come back to it later.

♡ ♡ ♡     pick a card masterlist & information

disclaimer. this is a general reading for entertainment purposes. tarot is a divination tool & is not a substitute for medical and professional advice, nor is it meant to be taken as such. i do not take responsibility for any choice(s) made by you or others regarding my readings.

amourdivine. 2021 - 2023 © do not copy, redistribute or edit my content.

PILE ONE 💜

what do they think about you? ten of swords • eight of pentacles • six of cups.

I just heard Coldplay’s “The Scientist”, specifically the bit in which he sings “take me back to the start”. I wonder if you two had a fight, some sort of falling out or heavy disagreement. They think they’ve lost you - this is weighing heavy on their mind. They wish they could go back to when things were simpler, when things weren’t so difficult and anxiety-inducing. I think they feel a lot of shame and blame as well (I heard “blame game”) and I’m not going to lie, pile one, this person may be overthinking this connection, especially the way they see it. It feels heavy, like my chest and my throat are holding so much energy but nothing comes out. They’re not thinking clearly, despite thinking so much, it’s really difficult for them to “think” a way out of this situation you’re in. However, they do wish to work towards a peaceful resolution with you. They want to find a way to make things feel lighthearted and happy for the two of you again. This person could also be listening to a lot of heavy/sad songs, because so many of them are coming through to me. They’re experiencing a lot of self-hatred and very difficult emotions are going through them. They’re mourning some kind of happy ending, but they’re still willing to salvage the relationship if that's something you also desire.

how do they feel towards you? the empress • ace of swords • page of pentacles.

Gosh, there’s so much love here. They not only miss you, but they want to talk to you… to ask you how to work this out. They just want it to work it out between you two, pile one. Even if it’s difficult, like I mentioned in the previous section, they only want you. They don’t see anyone else for them. They don’t want to let you go, to lose you. It’s why their mind is so foggy and so clouded with poor judgment, they feel a lot of despair over the thought of losing the love you two have and shared. If your connection ended, they’re still not over it - they’re refusing to move on, simply because in their heart, they’ve decided it’s you. And I don’t think they’ve fully voiced it out just how much they want you, but they intend to do so. No matter how painful this situation has become, they hold some sort of hope that you’ll want to work things out with them too. They love you in a pure, devoted way and know how unique, how beautiful this connection is.

channeled messages: “i hate myself for what i did to you”, “i can’t forget you”, “you’re beautiful”, runaway, empty roads, highways, road trips, memories, polaroid pictures, “i wish things were easier”, “you betrayed me”, burning bridges, “do you still love me?”, deja vu.

channeled song: ghostin’ by Ariana Grande.

PILE TWO 🩷

what do they think about you? the magician • the lovers • the world

I couldn’t name a more beautiful spread. They put you on a pedestal, sort of - this person sees all that you are and they’re amazed. They admire you, they love you and they can’t see anyone else but you. This person’s got heart eyes when they look at you, maybe their eyes sparkle - pay attention next time you speak to them in person. Although they may wonder if they’re good enough for you, this person truly, deeply is inspired by you. It’s possible this is a friend of yours who’s crushing on you and vice-versa, but neither one of you is willing to admit it yet. This is a dreamy vibe, even, I feel like I’m immersed in Piscean energy. Maybe one of you is Neptune dominant or has Pisces in 1st. It’s the feeling of a high school crush, the intense, beautiful and almost soul-crushing one, but the kind of connection that has a lasting impact. Even if you haven’t known this person for a long time, they are eager to know more about you, all the little things that you do and say are stuck in the back of their mind. They don’t take it for granted. You’re extremely important to them, regardless of the nature of this relationship, you’re someone they want around.

how do they feel towards you? three of cups • five of wands • nine of swords.

They’re anxious, because they’ve got some heavy competition. Even if they see all these positive qualities in you, this person is afraid they’ll ruin the friendship by risking it. So many people are interested in you, that they’re afraid of rejection, afraid of all the people vying for your attention and sometimes, they just wish they could get rid of these feelings already. It’s possible there’s a 3rd party situation going on - either you or them could be in a committed relationship and there’s a lot of guilt and anxiety involved. You’re this person’s wish come true, but they don’t know what to do. They’re stuck in their head about it, fantasizing about coming towards you, talking to you and not feeling so insecure or jealous when they see you with someone else. I got the vivid imagery of someone seeing their crush talking to someone else at a party and being almost soul crushed by the fact that they’re so afraid of approaching the other. It’s giving me fanfiction vibes (in the best way possible, I promise). I’m almost sorry for this person because they’re so blindsided by their pessimism that they can’t fully see a way into being with you, no matter how much they want to. They know they need to make a move before they lose you for good, though.

channeled messages: “i’m so sick of love songs”, “i just want to talk to you”, instagram, DM’s, subtle flirting, “are you alone tonight?”, crush, “i feel invisible”, insecurity, jealousy, bonfire party, college life, “give me back my jacket”, inside jokes.

channeled song: Are You Bored Yet? by Wallows ft. Clairo.

PILE THREE 💖

what do they think about you? eight of cups • six of cups • the devil.

“Gone for good”, I just heard that. My playlist started playing sad breakup songs too, it’s honestly a little heartbreaking and quite bittersweet. This person thinks, well, they know you’ve left them behind and you seem done with them. You left them and they’re triggered. They’ve got so much going on in their head, always filled with “what ifs”. Your connection has turned sour and they think you wanted to pursue something better for yourself, something that didn’t trigger the both of you so much. I feel like this connection may have turned toxic, so they know you needed to leave, but nonetheless, they’re grieving, they’re sour and bitter. I don’t know if this person was heavily immature towards you or even disrespectful, but you left them on a chokehold because they didn’t expect you to simply walk away so easily. I don’t think it’s been easy for either one of you. I’m more so feeling a situationship or a friendship kind of vibe here, not a full, official commitment. Everything they see in you is almost a projection of their worst fears. All your worst traits mirror back to them, calling them to do some soul deep healing. I saw the Death card in the back of my mind, so I think this person knows it’s time to move on, to let you go, but they’re still obsessing over this ending you’ve had and it’s possible they lurk on your social media. It’s not an evil or malicious energy, but they’re not in a good headspace to talk or see you right now.

how do they feel towards you? two of swords • knight of cups • ten of wands.

Sometimes they love you, they miss you. Sometimes they just hate everything that came to be about the two of you. They’re tired, overburdened by their feelings, so sick of feeling so much and nothing at the same time. This person can’t really pinpoint exactly what they feel for you, but I got nauseous and almost sick to my stomach? I think they just wish they could erase this pain forever, but sometimes, they wish they could get some closure from you as well. It’s possible they wish they could give you some closure as well. All these messy feelings are taking their time in this person’s heart and body, but I think this connection, as triggering as it may have been, has brought up a lot of things back into the surface. Regardless of how they feel about you, it all ties back to their wounds, their feelings and themselves. I got some heavy Scorpio feelings in the last section and now I’m getting some Libra - I feel like those were significant energies and placements for your pile. This person’s not only heartbroken but almost… burnt out by everything that went down. They’re slowly trying to heal, to let go and forgive, but they’re not having the easiest time. I don’t think they’re “evil eyeing” you in any way, but I also think some distance will do the both of you some good. I feel like Spirit wants to emphasize how good this ending will be for you.

channeled messages: “you deserve better”, “i want to go back to who i was, mental health, physical health, “get over it”, 777, friends with benefits, messing around, fuck around and find out, taylor swift, moved on, finally, second chances, “i was a second option”, simply unrequited.

channeled song: Berenstein by The Band CAMINO | extra: Favourite Song by Tim Chadwick.

PILE FOUR 🩵

what do they think about you? the magician • ace of cups • six of swords.

You’re so nurturing, healing and magical. This person sees you as some sort of fairy, a beautiful, wholesome person who’s got so much love to give and to receive. Even the song that started playing is one of my favorites, a very healing and soft one. They see you as a safe person, an Earth angel, someone who’s almost like their lucky charm. The vibes here aren’t only romantic - they fit for friendships and familial relationships too. They’ve got a lot of fond memories and stories of you. I see someone going through a photo album and laughing to themselves in joy. This person sees a lot of good things in you and you’ve given them some sort of renewed faith in connections and humanity. They know you’ve been through a lot - they see you’re still healing. Every now and then, they catch glimpses of moments when you’re not feeling so good, but they still see your potential and growth nonetheless. I think your words and presence calm this person down. They value your advice immensely, all your words of wisdom and encouragement. I feel like Gemini and Leo are significant placements for this pile - I got the Strength card in the back of my mind, with the woman caressing the lion in the card. You bring calm and softness to this person’s life.

how do they feel towards you? queen of pentacles • ace of pentacles • two of wands.

I heard “wife you up”, lol. If this is a romantic connection, this person wants to offer you a deeper form of commitment - in whatever way that means for your connection. I feel like this person is smitten by you, even if you’re friends, you’re their closest, most prized friend. They’re making plans for something bigger, something greater between the two of you. This person views you as someone they could have ultimate success in every way, someone trustworthy and someone they intend on making accommodations for to fit in their life. It’s so soft and sweet, I see a woman arranging and rearranging pillows in a soft-looking bedroom to make sure her guests will be comfortable during their stay. I think they’re making room for you in their heart and mind, even their home as well. Maybe they haven’t told you, but they’re giddy to have met you and to spend more time with you. If this person proposes to you soon, please don’t tell them I told you! I’m not trying to ruin their plans, but let me say your connection has some really sweet, lovely surprises along the way. If you get engaged though, let me know, pile four. I’m really happy for you!

channeled messages: “fight for you”, “let me love you”, acts of service, bouquets, rainy days, “put your head on my shoulder”, “it’s okay to cry”, “i want to be there for you”, “you don’t have to pretend with me”, cupping someone’s face in your hands, comfort food, hugs, ice cream, care bears, pisces, cancer, healing, therapy, inner child. 

channeled song: Room Service by Holly Humberstone | extra: Break For You by Valley.

amourdivine. 2021 - 2023 © do not copy, redistribute or edit my content.