#Normally my Saint is strictly they/them but I needed to make this okay

[mushroominaforest]

Okayyyyyyyy, this art is from a completely different au than the one that basically all my posts are about but I’m just gonna throw it up here because I can

This is from a human au that I made where I put all the Scugs in high school lol. It’s a long and complicated au but basically the only reason I made it was because I wanted to draw Karmaflower as pretty girls in prom dresses and my nerodivergent ass couldn’t handle drawing that without making a giant au and backstory behind it lmao

anyways this art is super old and looking at old art makes me want to cry but WHATEVER here’s the Karmaflower as pretty girls at prom drawing I made 😭 (the brainrot is too strong someone save me)

I was rlly proud of this when I made it and I think it’s kinda ugly now but I don’t care I’m inflicting it on all of you

[haikyuuuuuhypeeeee]

Ch. Eight

⚠WARNING: Slight mention of unhealthy coping mechanism.

• ────── ✾ ────── •

You push open the door to the face, the heat from inside warming your cold hands. You walk up to the counter and greet the barista with a smile.

“One jasmine tea and one black coffee please.”

You pay and move so the next customer can order. You scan the cafe, immediately finding Osamu in the same corner he’s always in. As you approach he looks up from the book he’s reading and gives you a sleepy smile.

“Heya, how’re ya doin’?”

You smile but inwardly frown as you take in the darker than normal bags under his eyes and the coffee cups littered on the table. “I’m alright. Were you able to get any sleep last night?”

He gives you a small smile and shrugs his shoulders. The movement is sluggish and you can’t help but tsk.

“Osamu,” you chide quietly.

“Well now ya know my secret,” Osamu replies. He yawns hugely before continuing. “It’s been a few days since I’ve slept so I know I’m due for a crash soon.”

You frown at him as you remove your jacket. “It’s not healthy for you.” He doesn’t respond, save for looking up from his seat with a sleepy smile. You can’t help but feel a smile tug at your lips. “I shouldn’t indulge you but I ordered you a coffee when I came in, let me go grab it.”

“Yer a saint.” You hear behind you. You’re glad you’re facing away from him as you feel a slight blush take over your face. Your tea and his coffee is waiting on the counter for you, the barista giving you an extra smile before you walk back. Osamu’s watching you return to your table, the same dopey look on his face. As sweet and docile as he looks you can’t help the twinge of guilt that shoots through you. Sure he claims he doesn’t sleep but he also stayed up late to talk to you last night and was there for you when you needed someone. So his current state can 100% be blamed on you.

“It’s the least I could do.” You say as you set your cups down and sit. “You’ve bought me tea before, and you helped me last night.”

Osamu waves his hand while sucking down his coffee. You shake your head at his dismissal but don’t bring it up again. You two sit in silence, enjoying each other's company and the atmosphere of the cafe. You steal a few glances at your friend, examining his face as close as you can without staring. Now that you know he chooses sleep deprivation to help with his problems you can’t believe you didn’t notice how tired he actually looks. He’s hid it well these past few weeks, and that makes your heart clench painfully.

You notice he has a tuft of hair sticking up in the back. It honestly looks adorable but you motion to his head so he can fix it.

“Your hair is sticking up weird.”

At the blank confusion on his face you lean forward to try and help him. “Here, just,” you bring your fingers to his grey locks. His hair is smooth and soft, surprising you. You shake your head and focus on fixing the one stubborn bit of hair that refuses to go down.

Once it does, you run your hand through his hair a few times, attempting to capture a relaxed, windswept look. In your motions you glance at Osamu’s face.

He’s watching you, wide-eyed and seemingly frozen to his seat. His expression makes you falter, your hand resting in his hair. Imperceptibly, and if you had to bet without his doing, his head leans into your touch. It’s your turn to freeze but only for a second before you sweep through his hair one last time and retract your hand.

Why did I do that? Your face feels hot as you quickly bring your hand to your tea and take a hasty sip. Why the heck did I just do that? You swallow the tea and gently set it down before chancing a glance at Osamu. He’s looking out the window of the cafe, but you can spot the blush on his cheeks.

It makes you blush even more and you take another sip to try and calm down.

“So,” Osamu finally says. “You said you had a group therapy session yesterday, right?”

You nod, eagerly taking advantage of the change in topic. “Yeah, it’s something that one of my friend’s therapist told him about. We’ve been going for about three months now. It’s specific for people who’ve lost those who were like family, but I know people who’ve lost relatives are welcome.”

“Hm,” Osamu hums in reply. “Well I might look into taggin’ along one day.”

“That’d be great! It’s helped me and my friends talk through our problems with other people, and it’s helped us communicate with each other as well. My own therapist said it was a good idea too. I can’t imagine your therapist wouldn’t say the same.”

At that Osamu scoffs. “I don’t have a therapist.”

You tilt your head. “What? I thought you said something about your therapist when we first met?” You know he certainly did.

“Oh, that was my therapist back home. But he was crazy, he was always trying to push me into havin’ an emotional release. And when I told him to stop he didn’t.” Osamu rolls his eyes. “Plus I didn’t think it was helpin’ me all that much. So I haven’t found one since movin’ to Sendai.”

“Oh.” You really didn’t know how to respond to Osamu’s cynical explanation. You couldn’t fathom the idea of not seeing your therapist and having that professional outlet to help you. Not only did your therapist offer explanations for your feelings and insight, she’s also kind and generous. Your sessions are a safe place where you can grieve properly and feel no shame.

Hearing Osamu speak bluntly about his less than ideal experience with his therapist back home and his now negative opinion on therapy in general doesn’t sit right with you, but you don’t feel comfortable trying to get him to change his mind.

“So how far away is home?” You ask, changing the subject again. You think it's a safer topic but Osamu furrows his eyebrows.

“Hyogo.” He answers shortly.

“Wow, that’s far right?”

He nods. “Sendai U is a good school and I needed a change of scenery.” His replies are clipped and he doesn’t meet your gaze. You sense his uncomfortableness.

“Was it hard moving away? Are you lonely?”

Osamu pauses in bringing his coffee cup to his mouth. He looks over the rim at you appraisingly.

“Nah,” he says. He takes a sip and sets the cup down. WHen he swallows he gives you a friendly smile. “Not so lonely anymore.”

The soft gaze aimed your way sends your heart into overdrive. Another blush threatens to overtake your face and you have to look away.

You don’t miss the satisfied smirk that touches Osaumu’s lips and you feel your blush deepen.

• ────── ✾ ────── •

A/N: After that last chapter Y/N NEEDS some tender comfort from Osamu....and it looks like someone is catching some feelings!!! It still seems like there's a bit of mystery around the guy still but it looks like things are progressing nicely for Y/N and Osamu.

I want to mention that opinions about therapy and coping mechanisms in this story are my strictly my own. I am not the leading authority on seeking treatment for any mental health or physical health reasons. In this story Y/N is proponent for seeking help for mental health, but Y/N is not a doctor either. This is a fictional story, and if you are reading this unsure of whether or not you need to seek help, please consult a doctor or someone you trust.

And after that last chapter I threw in some Makki and Mattsun crack because I love them and my petition for them to adopt me is still pending. :/ And we're just gonna ignore Oikawa for now kthxbi.

Thank you so much for reading - I hope everyone is enjoying the story so far!

Taglist Open! Please send an Ask with the request to be added to It’s [Not] Okay Fic & SMAU: @psycho-nightrose @camcam1617 @kamalymaly @toobsessedsstuff @shookykookie30 @roro-707 @qualitygiantshoepsychic @cerealfrdinner797 @ara-mitsue @gray-444 @tanakasimpcorner @rintarovibes @jellien @everytimeswift @bongofrito @babucrow

[quitetheketch-moved]

so I’ve been seeing bad taste in youtubers, not like in my mutuals or anything but in general but it made me want to make a like, recommended list of youtubers i like who are pretty chill if not full on comrades so here we are - not prompted by anything specific but an itch I got here some of the channels I like:

Cooking:

BORE.D - Fun cooking channel with a stylish presentation 

Chinese Cooking Demystified - Like it says on the tin, informative authentic Chinese dishes from all over the country. 

David Seymour - started with buzzfeed taste tests but now covers most big cooking channels seeing if he can recreate them and how they are

Maangchi - Plz cook for me, like i’m begging feed me it all looks amazing 

My Name Is Andong - fun cooking videos from all over, especially the ones about Russian food.

Simply Sara Kitchen  - good home style cooking 

Souped Up Recipes - Traditional Chinese cooking

Movies/Tv:

Accented Cinema - a video essay channel with a focus on Asian cinema

Folding Ideas - Not strictly about film but I tend to watch a lot of essayists who fall into multiple things and I kinda just have to lean into their main aesthetic but Dan is a gif so check him out.

Jack Saint  - Jack and Joel have a lot of similar style of content but Jack leans into media stuff more so i’m moving him over here. (although i’ve been working on this post for over an hour going through my alphabetical yt sub list and i’m starting to regret trying to categorize them)

PushingUpRoses  - a must watch if you love old tv especially Murder She Wrote

Renegade Cut - Does games too, and frankly they are some of their best work, but quality media analysis.

Ryan Hollinger - Horror movie analysis

Scaredy Cats  - More horror movie analysis but my favorite channel of this kind

Gaming Essays:

Adam Millard - video essays about video games - really recommend the video on Frog Fractions and the Longing

Curio - I’m putting them here because theres been a big focus on games lately and they recently started twitch streaming which is fun but really it’s all media essay. Just please check out their four part Witcher series adfkj it’s the most recent so easy to find.

Errant Signal - I dont have much to add other than please check out Errant Signal, they dont post much but I am in love with this channel.

Game Maker's Toolkit  - in depth essays about elements of game design

Jim Sterling  - Okay not essays but gaming news - if you dont check out anyone else here you should still check out Jim. Especially if you care about the rights of workers in the gaming industry. 

Gaming Play:

Biffa Plays Indie Games - mostly does Cities Skylines but sometimes other, great videos to relax to.

GaLm - GaLm deserves so much much than he gets, Love him been watching him for forever and honestly he’s enough of a workaholic that there’s so much content you WILL find something you like. All complete with critical analysis.

GrayStillPlays - one of the few like, non overtly left-os here but listen, if you want some slightly silly slightly more edgy style of video game videos to kinda turn off your brain and just enjoy you cant get much better than grey. He’s chaos but chaos that doesn’t rely on racism. Maybe one too many jokes about addiction but they aren’t usually punching down so???

John Wolfe - chill horror youtuber - not much to say but one of my favorites.

KatherineOfSky - want the most soothing voice ever to gently play hardcore logistic games at you? Well holy fuzzy cats, you’re home.

Many A True Nerd - Partner to Claire in the category below, known for his fallout but plays just about anything. Also loves grand strategy and paradox games. Good playlist management too do easy to find what you need.

Wanderbots - A just, massive amount of indie game content.

Commentary/Other:

Claire Rousseau - Books youtuber who is just a delight, I dont know how else to describe her but even tho I dont read anymore i’d still die for her.

Courtreezy -  just the queen of being bubbly and fun (some of these I dont have good sales pitches for just *shoves them at you* give em a shot)

D'Angelo Wallace and dangelowallace - Main and second channel, both the same kind of content but the formats are different. Dont always agree with all his opinions but man, theres no fault in the way he presents and researches them - solid essayist but also just oozes charisma and good times.

Drawfee Show - one of the bigger channels here save D’Angelo above so you may already be familiar with them but just a fun weekly drawing show. Good times.

Foo the Flowerhorn  - Watch fish be fed bits of blanched vegetables, like that either sells you or not but it’s Good.

Jarvis Johnson and Jarvis Johnson! GOLD - primary and secondary channels, pure commentary channel on a wide range of topics - i recommend the videos on 5 min crafts and the bachelor.

Life in Jars? - Eco-spheres and terrariums oh me :0

MacDoesIt - Gay chaotic energy, just chock full of Moods and fun times.

Sarah Z - Unofficial tumblr historian

Politics:

Big Joel - kinda variety content, plenty of media analysis but through a strongly leftist lens. Torn between here and commentary but the balance is slightly more overtly political than just media commentary through a political lens so here we go.

Black Red Guard - A black leftist commentary/essay channel focused on black issues and self described as a “New Afrikan Maoist”, this is fairly new channel I found so I’m not as good at describing his content def not better than he does but solid stuff through a perspective I wouldn’t normally get.

hbomberguy - Just watch his video on Pathologic please. Or like, watch 20 mins then go play Pathologic then come back after you’ve beaten it and Pathologic 2 and finish the video.

Innuendo Studios  - Frankly I had no idea where to put this one, because it’s a little of everything but mostly media analysis but also please watch the alt-right playbook if you like, want to understand more about how radicalization happens.

KAR - Black anarchist channel, solid political videos but shorter than most of the ones here so better for consuming when you dont have much time.

Leslie Exp - Videos about disability

Luna oi! and NonCompete  - frankly best agitprop communist duo. A good place to start learning about mutual aid and what anarchism is, beginner friendly videos on leftist theory.

Philosophy Tube - Videos are super polished and well made essays about philosophy, super theatrical and flashy. Honestly cannot stress enough how fun the production value of these are.

Professor Flowers - Nuanced important discussions about race, media, and the political landscape.

Some More News - Like it says on the tin, news but told to you by a disheveled fed up leftist (I joke because i’m running out of things to say in the comment for each but really, Cody and his entire team deserve a lot of credit for their well researched videos on current events)

Thought Slime  - Agitprop but make it a little silly because tbh we all need some jokes rn

Honorable mentions of some slightly bigger channels you may already know but I enjoy: UpIsNotJump , Steve1989MREInfo , SmallishBeans , RTGame , Primitive Survival Tool  , Mumbo Jumbo ,  emmymadeinjapan ,  Kurtis Conner ,  Danny Gonzalez , Drew Gooden  , How To Cook That , JunsKitchen , Defunctland 

[i-did-not-mean-to]

Never say never - Chapter 13

Here's a new chapter of my main story (I forgot to go on posting lol)

Fandom: RPF- Richard Armitage

Characters : OC x RA

Rating : Mature

Warnings : RPF (and factually incorrect and very soppy)

°13° ­~Victoria~

She had expected questions and intrusive crowding, but her friends and their friends, sat motionless around the table still. Victoria saw that they had unpacked every single book and movie she had bought and put them into piles, though she could not discern the logic governing the separate piles.

“Have a nice chat?” Liza asked after a moment of Victoria just standing in the door, wordless, chewing on her lower lip.

Victoria, in turn, gave an assenting grunt and handed Martin back his phone with a grateful smile.

“More information, please?” Angie demanded, crossing her legs, and putting her folded hands upon them like a school mistress ready to listen to the recitation of a particularly hopeless student. Victoria bristled.

She had to dig her heels into the floor to keep herself from turning around and fleeing the room. Adulthood somehow boiled down to the absence of the heavy, constraining hand at the back of her neck, and Victoria had a tendency to bolt every chance that she got. Afterwards, she always felt ashamed because she knew that she had not solved anything by just leaving a situation in which she felt uncomfortable, but she had not learned how to face her instincts and overcome them.

For her, it had always been a matter of being able to follow her reflexes or being forced to go against them.

It pained her to discover that her instincts were all wrong and, what was worse, not only did they neither soothe nor protect Victoria herself, no, they also usually ended up hurting someone else.

“We…we talked. I said he’s welcome to come here if he cares to. He said he’d help me set up any other furniture I might need.” She felt and sounded sheepish, Victoria knew, but she didn’t know how to make that very normal conversation sound like the outrageous exchange of dark confessions the others apparently expected.

“Oh, so I’ve been made redundant? And I had hoped you’d let me watch the movie with you.” Hiddleston winked at her.

Big breath, Victoria told herself, this was good, this was healthy, don’t run, stand your ground.

“You’re welcome here, little fairy-lord. You can come watch the movie with me.” She said in a tiny voice.

“Oh goodie good good, we have made piles of movies we want to watch along with you…on your fancy new TV…” Angie clapped her hands and, finally, Victoria understood the piles. “You naughty girl, you.” Liza laughed.

“Naughty?” Victoria blinked. She did not see why she would be naughty for watching movies. Had her father been right, and they corrupted the impeccable morals he had tried to instil in her? Were movies the devil’s dark corruption after all?

Martin had called it “porn”, she remembered, and a cold shiver ran down her spine.

“What are you talking about? Have I done something wrong?” Panic seeped into her voice now and she was starting to feel a little dizzy. She knew that Liza sometimes made crude jokes, but up to this point, she had never been the butt of these jokes.

“Liza!” Angie hissed, rushing to Victoria’s side to soothe her with shushing noises and tender caresses. “She doesn’t know what she’s talking about.” She said, but Victoria could hear that she was lying, as noted before, Angie was a terrible liar.

“Yeah, low blow, I’m sorry. So, what else does Armitage say?” Liza lifted her hands apologetically and leaned back in her chair, knowing that Victoria would most probably shrink back from her if she was to approach right now.

“He wanted to go over some comments in the script with me. We might meet up if he finds the time. I gave him my number.” Victoria narrated in an emotionless voice; her mind still occupied by the accusation of being a naughty girl.

Angie threw a look at her wife that was so earth-shatteringly severe that Liza didn’t even dare make a face at that. Unfortunately, Jenna had not picked up on it and so, still snacking on the pizza crust, she asked: “Really? You gave him your number? Cute.”

Victoria stared at her for a solid 2 minutes; her mouth was bone-dry, and her tongue seemed to be glued to her teeth. She barely heard the warning hiss Angie gave her employee. Her head was spinning; she was entering territories of supposition and innuendo she was painfully unfamiliar with, and it scared her.

“Cute?” She gasped, feeling the tears of helpless perplexity burn behind her eyes, ready to spill over. Victoria had never given this number to any man, because the last time she had given a man her private telephone number, she had had another number, she had lived in another city, she had led a very different life.

“It’s not like that. It’s professional.” She tried to defend herself weakly. It was true, she had met that man twice in her life, and both times, it had been with Liza in the context of that ludicrous side-job she had accepted to keep busy.

On the other hand, she was a single woman and, as far as she knew, he was a single man. She was a recent divorcee; he had never been married. He had slept with a thousand and one nameless women in his life…and she had only ever had one sexual partner and had never expected having to think about another one.

“Fuck.” She cursed. There were no Saints that came to mind to call upon in this situation. She should have trusted her gut feeling and pull out of this whole story while she was ahead; she should have left this first evening right away and never return to that damn room. She should have kept her door closed tightly.

“It’s okay, I’m sorry…I’m sure that he knows that it’s strictly professional.” Jenna tried to calm her, but her eyes were wide and worried now.

“OH! Will he? I’ve invited the man into my home, haven’t I? Like Delilah to Samson, oh Lord…” Victoria groaned, all of her compounded trauma harrowing her to the brink of tears once again. What would he think of her? Did he believe that she wanted to throw herself at him like a common prostitute? Did he expect that? Would he be violent if she refused?

If he thought that her intentions had been indecent, surely, he would not try to contact her in any way or form, would he?

“Like…Vic, do you intend to seduce him and cut his magic…hair?” Liza mocked, but when she saw the expression Victoria’s face, she fell silent instantly. She waved Hiddleston and Martin aside, feeling that they should not draw attention to themselves.

“Vic,” she pleaded, “look at me, girl. It’s okay, you’re safe. It was a dumb joke, nothing more.”

Liza knew that she had gone too far too fast; Victoria was in her living room while it was dark outside, together with 4 people who were attracted to women and yet, she had only made the connection once Armitage had been mentioned.

Devout and faithful, Victoria had only ever known the man she had married, in the biblical sense, and it had been overzealous of her to believe that she might take another lover so easily. There were too many things to unravel before.

“What have I done?” Victoria sobbed and the dam broke; hot tears broke their way out of her system, and she cried pitifully for a few minutes straight, shaking so much that her teeth clattered as if she was standing naked in the snow.

“Victoria? Is there anything I can do for you? You can talk to me.” Hiddleston offered and his calm demeanour managed to pacify her enough to shake her head slowly. “I have acted abominably. I…just can’t do anything right.” She croaked.

“That is not true. You’ve been frightened and overwhelmed at first, but you’ve been a kind hostess tonight. We had fun this afternoon, didn’t we? What is it that upsets you so?” Hiddleston took her hands and brushed his thumbs lightly across them in slow, gentle circles.

“What does that poor man think of me now? He will believe I am completely insane!” Victoria lamented, tears still running down her cheeks in regular intervals. “No, he won’t. He’s not a monster. We all can see that you’ve been through some things, but we’re here to make it better. And, as you said, it’s strictly professional. I’m sure he knows that.”

Hiddleston exchanged a look with Martin. Richard knew, but that didn’t prevent him from maybe hoping that one day, it wouldn’t be so. As far as one could make any assumptions based on Victoria’s erratic behaviour, she seemed half scared to death that it might turn into something that wasn’t all that professional anymore as well.

“You’ve had a stressful day, why don’t we leave you alone? I’m surprisingly free the next few days, so if you want me to, I can swing by tomorrow and while I go have my picture taken, you can choose some more furniture. And then, we finish the movie? What about that?” He coaxed her into calming down until a puffy face and a pathetic hiccup were all that remained of her passionate outburst. “Yes, I’d like that. We can go have cakes in the afternoon?” Victoria replied.

It was easy to like Hiddleston, and that discovery surprised and amazed her. He was kind and unobtrusive; he had a good sense of humour, and, most importantly, she was in no way attracted to him.

Oh, he was glorious, there was no denying that, but he reminded her too much of that friend she had dreamt up as a child – when she had lain in bed, lonely as can be – to be in any way titillating to her. He made her wish that she wasn’t an only child; he made her long for siblings, for someone to go to for advice and solace.

Never would she look at him like Jenna did: with big, longing cow-eyes that were starry with wordless adulation.

Vic’s mind slammed on the brakes again. Jenna did stare at that man like he had literally just fallen from the sky and, when Vic had proposed to go to the tearooms, her breath had stumbled for a second there.

Jenna had a crush on Liza’s friend.

Victoria was utterly baffled. Were things that easy in the normal world? Did people just meet someone handsome and kind, and then allowed their heart to leap into their eyes? Victoria could not fathom being that brazen and reckless.

“He’s right. Let’s retreat. I’m sorry, Vic.” Liza shooed the others out of the room. “Good night, dear Victoria. Thanks for the pizza. I hope we can be friends now.” Martin spoke gently as if to a sick child or to a fretful mare.

“Sorry for being such a mess. Yes, sure we can be friends. Thank you so much for the poppets.” She picked them up gingerly as she followed the others out of the room and turned off the lights in the living room.

“Not the kind of plastic dick people usually keep next to their bed.” Liza mumbled under her breath, which made Victoria skewer her with a scandalised, speechless look. “Sorry, it was too good to miss out on. You know, because…”

Victoria lifted her eyebrows in an expression of annoyed impatience; the joke went completely over her head.

“Richard is abbreviated Dick. You know…” Liza wagged her head from side to side to make very clear that she was only making a very tasteless joke and not attacking Victoria in any way. “Funny.” Victoria commented, her face so stern and forbidding that she would have given Armitage and Macfadyen a run for their money.

“They will not be kept next to my bed…once I get the proper décor for them.” Victoria then snarled. “Décor?” Martin was interested by that comment, his hand on the doorhandle already but his face turned to Victoria, eager to hear how she would proceed.

“I guess I’ll have to go to the pet shop to get a proper set-up where they’d feel at ease.” Victoria shrugged.

“They’re inanimate dolls.” Liza cried out, horrified at the idea that her friend would procure a cave and a hobbit-hole for two toys. “They’re the only friends I have now.” Victoria shot back with a dark smile.

“Ah, come on. I love you, girl. You know that I love you, don’t you? I’d never want to do you harm.” Liza smiled warmly, hugging Victoria to her chest, and breathing in her warm, clean smell. “Go to bed.” She breathed and left.

And so, Victoria went upstairs with her poppets, laying them gently on the pillow next to hers before getting ready for bed. She brushed her hair and her teeth, applied creams and serums, and put her clothes in the laundry basket…only to return to an empty bedroom. For all anybody cared, she could have gone to bed dirty and dishevelled; nobody would ever have known.

Shaking her head, she dispelled those thoughts forcefully. She had made progress today, she had opened her home to other people, and she had taken two different, hasty, and informal meals with them. She was not sure that her friends were aware of the fact that she had never lived alone before in her life and that those experiences were completely new to her, but she felt the excitement of having had acquaintances over.

A couch, she would buy a proper couch for her little sanctuary so more people could come and enjoy movies with her.

She was on the right track, she could feel it, and so she fell asleep, her poppets next to her, with a blissful smile.

~Richard~

He was an idiot. He had nothing to do the next few days, but he had made it sound as if he was terribly busy.

She had assumed that, and he had been too proud to clear the misunderstanding up, which made it only fair that now, the ball was in his court, and he would have to contact Victoria to plan a…meeting.

He would not call it a “date”, because first of all, it wasn’t a date, and second, he didn’t want to play into the hands of Martin and Elizabeth who had been aiming for that kind of thing apparently.

She had sounded breathless but not as hostile as before tonight. She had given him her number and he couldn’t stop fidgeting with the paper; by now, he had saved her number in his phone and on his laptop, just in case that he reduced the poor note to dust by handling it so much.

What would he say though? Should he give her a call or just text? He had said he’d text her, but he wanted to be on the phone with her again; it seemed that they were doing alright on the phone even though she frequently checked out of the conversation to talk to other people.

By now, the others were certainly gone…No, he would not call her again when he had nothing new to tell her. He wondered if she would have reached out if she had his number; women were usually better at that than men.

Sexist, cool, he was going insane at a rapid pace. Pictures of her, kneeling on the floor and praying to her various saints to protect her from whatever it was that haunted her so, rose inside his mind; he wondered if she slept in long, flowing, weirdly anachronistic nightgowns or if she went to bed in an old ratty sweatshirt. Both had their own appeal.

God, it was late, and his mind was wandering in all the wrong directions. He would not think of her in bed, he had no reason or right to do so, she had not given him any cause or encouragement to take that path down a very slippery slope, but he could not forget the small moans he had caught now and again.

Of course, they might have been groans of exasperation and impatience, but even so, there was something within him, deep beneath the parts of his mind he had any control over, that had responded ferociously to the breathless sound.

Maybe, he should just get it over with and send her one of those texts that only informed her of his number…

[marjansmarwani]

the truth always was

[Read on Ao3]

Owen has watched his son suffer and hurt, and he wants nothing more than for him to heal and find happiness again. So when he notices a certain young Officer appearing more and more, he takes notice and makes an effort to get to know this Carlos Reyes.

Or, Tarlos from Owen's perspective

---

Tarlos Week Day 4: Tarlos and Owen + fun

Day 4 of @tarlosweek2020 and I’m not sure how much “fun” is in this (there’s some though!) but it is definitely Owen and Tarlos so I think that’s good for the prompt, right? 

-----

Owen watched as his son disappeared from the bar on the arm of the young cop from earlier. He wasn’t naive - his son was 26 and no saint, and under normal circumstances, Owen wouldn’t even blink an eye. 

 But these were not normal circumstances by a long shot. 

 He could still see the image of his son unconscious, unmoving, not breathing on the floor of his apartment just a few short weeks ago. It was an image that would be forever ingrained in his mind; burned there by the panic and fear he had felt in that moment. 

 He would do whatever it took to make sure they never ended up there again. He still believed that his son had a good head on his shoulders, but he was in turmoil; still reeling from everything that had come before, from the changes it had caused. As much as he wanted to let him be, as much as TK would want him to let him try and fail on his own he knew he wouldn't be able to. He knew that he couldn’t just leave it be - not when the risk was so high. 

 Even if that meant keeping a closer eye than usual on his son and his romantic escapades; even if it meant stepping in where he normally would not. He knew the idea wouldn’t go over well with TK, but the fear of losing his son for good was louder than TK’s discomfort. 

 At least, Owen reasoned grimly as he took another sip of his beer, if his son ended up hating him for this, he would be alive to do so. 

 ------

There is something going on between his son and Officer Reyes, but he’s not quite sure what. 

 Though to be fair, he’s not too certain they know either. 

 They stand closer to each other than strictly necessary at calls and TK must be delusional if he thinks no one notices how much he brightens when he sees the young officer. He knows that TK keeps disappearing, coming and going at odd hours but he believes him when he says he doesn’t need to worry; that there are no substances involved. From what little he has seen of the young officer, he’s fairly certain he approves. He seems like someone solid; someone he can trust with his son’s happiness. 

 Owen still keeps an eye out, still watches for red flags. He wants to pull TK closer, to find him a protective bubble just to give his nerves a break. And he is ready and willing to step in as soon as the situation warrants it. But he loves his son more than anything and as much has he wants to shield him, he has come to accept that the only way for him to truly ever heal is to do it himself, despite how hard it is for Owen to watch him struggle. 

 That doesn’t change the concern he feels when TK lets himself into the house one night, fuming and swearing under his breath; opening and closing the drawers and doors in his bedroom with far too much force. Owen allows himself a quick check-in, just to make sure that there is nothing truly wrong. When he sees TK whole and unmarked, not willing to talk about it and very truly pissed off, he makes his exit - leaving his son to stew and work through whatever this is on his own. 

 When TK attempts to sneak in unnoticed just a few nights later and Owen - up in the pursuit of some water - catches sight of the blood and bruises gracing his skin, his heart plummets. He immediately closes the distance between them, eyes roving his son, searching for any sign of further injury or harm. 

 “What happened? Are you okay?” he asks, voice taut with worry.  

 TK’s eyes flick away from him, his busted lip pulling into a straight line. “Nothing, I’m fine.” 

 “TK…” 

 “I did something stupid, but I’m okay,” TK announced, looking up. Catching sight of the desperate fear in Owen’s eyes he adds, more gently, “not that stupid.” 

 Owen allowed himself to breathe for a moment before studying his son one more time. These were injuries caused by fists; injuries found after a fight. His heart rate quickened. 

 “What happened TK?” 

  Who did this to you? Was the unasked question. 

 “I got into a bar fight with some random guys. It’s fine, no charges - it was stupid, but it’s all good.”

 “No...no charges? Tyler Kennedy Strand, were you  arrested ?” 

 “But not charged?” TK offered nervously. Owen stared back at him. They stood in silence at the edge of the kitchen for several moments before Owen groaned and ran a weary hand down his face. “TK…” 

 “Dad, I know I did something  unbelievably stupid…”

 “You’ve got that part right.”

 “...but I think that maybe it finally gave me the clarity I needed. I’m just...going through some stuff right now and....”

 “And what? TK, I’m trying to help you, but this…” he paused and ran his eyes over the bruises. There was blood soaking the collar of his white t-shirt. “This is something I don’t know what to help with. I don’t know what’s going on and frankly, it’s scaring the hell out of me. What can I do?”  

 “I don’t know,” TK admitted softly, “I don’t think there is anything. I think I need to figure it out on my own.”

 Owen sighed heavily. He had known that answer, but it went against every single fatherly instinct he had. But his son was an adult and he knew what he needed better than anyone. “Can you just  try  not to get arrested again anytime soon?”

 TK gave him a small grin, “I’ll do my best.”

 “That’s all I’m asking.” 

 TK nodded and started to walk away, but Owen called him back. 

 “You know I am here though if you need anything, right?”

 “I know Dad,” he answered softly. Then with another smile, he was gone and Owen was left alone in the kitchen. 

 He leaned against the counter and ran a weary hand down his face. He desperately hoped that stepping back was the right choice. He didn’t know what he would do if anything happened to TK. He couldn’t go through that again. He couldn’t help but wonder how Officer Reyes fit into all of this. He had no idea, but he was determined to find out.  

--------- 

He is still pondering the mystery of Carlos Reyes over a late-night cup of tea at the station when Captain Blake joins him. It had become something of an unspoken ritual after the first time. They drink their tea in silence until Owen decides he may as well ask the question that has been lingering in his mind. 

 “What do you know about Officer Reyes?” 

 “Carlos?” Michelle asked, looking up from her mug with a startled expression, “Quite a lot actually - why do you ask?” 

 “Just between us, I think something is going on between him and TK and I just...want to know if I need to be worried.” 

 “I can assure you that Carlos Reyes would never do anything to intentionally hurt anyone.”

 Owen raised an eyebrow, “You seem pretty certain of that.” 

 Michelle shrugged as she stirred her tea, “I am. He is one of my closest friends.” 

 Owen couldn’t even hide the surprise he felt at that even if he had wanted to, “I had no idea.” 

 Michelle nodded, “He was friends with my sister when they were growing up and after she went missing, he helped me out a lot. He still does. We’ve gotten really close over the past couple of years. I would trust Carlos Reyes with my life without hesitation, and I can say with complete certainty that you don’t have to worry about him with TK. He is a good person - one of the best I know.”

 Owen gave her a smile and though their conversation veered in another direction, he ruminated over what she had said. It was still on his mind as they left the kitchen and headed to their respective bunks. He lay staring at the ceiling for a long while, wondering if it was truly possible that TK had found someone as good as Michelle said. He loved his son dearly, but past experience had shown that his taste in men was questionable at best. The thought that maybe he had found someone actually worthy of his time and affection thrilled Owen. 

 But even that feeling was wrapped in caution. Owen knew his son. After everything that had happened, he was gun shy; likely unwilling to fully give himself over to anyone. Owen understood that - he had every reason to be cautious. He just hoped that he didn’t miss out on a good thing because he was scared. He hoped if he had feelings for this man, that he didn’t push him away. He hoped that maybe, against all odds, his son might finally find the happiness and love he deserved. 

 As he rolled over in another attempt to sleep his last fleeting thought was that he hoped this Officer Reyes was up to the challenge. 

---------- 

As the Texas winter faded into spring and the temperatures began to rise to what Owen considered early summer heat, he couldn’t help but notice that TK seemed happier. He seemed lighter; he smiled more. Owen could almost see the person he had once known before Alex, before the overdose. It made his heart swell and helped him sleep a little easier at night. 

 He had a feeling that a certain young officer had something to do with it and while he wasn’t about to thank him outright (though he longed too) he was making an effort to get to know the young man a little better - inconspicuously, of course. 

 He made it a point to speak with Officer Reyes whenever the opportunity presented itself, he listened to Michelle’s stories of their escapades keenly. He wanted to get to a better idea of who this person was. Michelle could (and had, on multiple occasions) spend an hour singing her friend’s praises and while he did trust her and her judgment, it was clear she was more than a little biased. 

 These little conversations pay off and more and more of the picture that is Carlos Reyes reveals itself to Owen. He is startled to realize that one day without him truly knowing it, he had come to like the young officer all on his own. He was polite and compassionate, professional and even-tempered. Owen had been startled the first time he heard him crack a wry joke as they were wrapping up at a call, but he had come to learn that Carlos Reyes had quite the sense of humor when he wasn’t wrapping himself in professionalism. 

 He was pretty certain that the young officer in question was a good part of what was making his son happier these days, and he could certainly see the appeal. 

----------- 

Owen had known nothing but pure terror since the moment he realized what had happened. The instant he connected the sound and the blood splatter to the image of his son collapsing onto the hallway floor; panic and fear had engulfed him and they hadn’t left. Even now in the relative calm of the storm, now that the immediate danger was behind them and all that was left was the waiting, he could still feel the fear pulsing through his veins. 

 But he had only ever seen his son this still one other time, and that was a time he had spent months trying to forget. To see it again after everything TK had been through, after all the work he had done to heal was just as heartbreaking as it was terrifying. He was facing the very real possibility of losing his son for good, and he couldn’t handle that. He was dreading the worst and knew that it would destroy him, should it come to pass. He squeezed the limp hand in his grasp again, praying for some response; some proof that his son was still with him. 

 None came. 

 He could feel the tears from earlier threatening to return, but the sound of hurried footsteps coming to a halt outside the door distracted him enough to push them off - for now. 

 He turned to see Carlos Reyes in the doorway. His chest was heaving as if he had run here and his red-rimmed eyes were filled with a look that was all too familiar to Owen - desperation and fear. 

 “Officer Reyes,” he said by way of greeting, “would you like some time with him?” 

 Carlos pulled his eyes from the bed before them where he had been studying for TK, looking for any sign of life, and turned his gaze to Owen. He swallowed before he choked out: “I don’t want to impose.” 

 Owen could almost feel his heart breaking all over again. He could feel how much this man cared for his son in the waver of his voice; he could see how much TK meant to him. He had had his suspicions but to have the confirmation now - when TK wasn’t here to receive the love that he so desperately deserved - was just another cruelty piled on. He pulled himself up from the chair he had been glued to for the past two hours and crossed to the young officer. He stopped in front of him, placing a hand on his shoulder as he spoke, “I think he would appreciate it. I know I would.” 

 He let his hand linger on the younger man’s shoulder as he held his gaze. There was so much he wanted to say that he couldn’t bring himself to say aloud.  I know  , for starters; but  thank you,  most of all. 

 Carlos nodded and Owen had the feeling that he understood. He clapped his shoulder again and stepped out of the room, clearing the path to TK’s bedside. He lingered in the doorway for a moment, watching as Carlos closed the distance quickly, as he fell into the chair beside the bed. As he reached out a tender hand to caress TK’s face, as he used his other hand to wipe away the tears that had begun to slide down his own. 

 He allowed himself this pause, this momentary intrusion to see for himself how well Carlos loved his son. Despite it all, Owen allowed himself the smallest of smiles. 

 It looked like TK had finally found the love he had always wanted for him - now he just needed to wake up. 

------------

As the batter made contact with the ball and sent it sailing into the outfield Carlos and Owen gave a cry of surprise in unison. 

 “I did not think he could hit like that,” Carlos noted with a shake of his head as the watched the player in question take a leisurely jog around the bases, allowing the rest of his team to cross home plate while the other team scrambled to find the ball in the outfield. 

 “I don’t think the other team knew either,” Owen responded with a chuckle, “but based on the first half of the game, who would’ve guessed?” 

 The two men were sitting in the Strand’s living room, watching the Houston Astro’s game while dinner cooked in the oven. Their conversation was interrupted by the sound of the front door opening and they turned to see TK enter. He paused on the threshold, eyes widening in surprise at the sight of his father and his boyfriend sitting together on the couch. 

 “Hi guys,” he said skeptically as he set down his keys, “what are you up to?” 

 “Watching the game, waiting for you,” Owen responded as Carlos beamed at TK from beside him. “How was your meeting?” 

 “It was good,” he responded, walking around the couch to plop down next to Carlos, who immediately wrapped an arm around his shoulders to pull him closer. “Have you really just been watching baseball this entire time? I have been gone for a while.” 

 Owen shot Carlos an exasperated look, “TK has never shared my appreciation for anything athletic.”

 TK rolled his eyes when Carlos gave him a curious look, “It’s not that I don’t like them, it’s more that I don’t really enjoy  watching them and significant experience has shown me that I am not good at participating in organized sports.”

 Owen chuckled appreciatively at that, “That’s true. I remember this one time you tried out for the basketball team and…” 

 “And this is me changing the subject,” TK cut across, speaking loudly to drown out Owen’s story. “How’s the game?” 

 Carlos shrugged as Owen, still chuckling, reached for his glass of iced tea, “Not bad. I mean, it’s no Yankee’s game…”

 He stopped at the sound of Owen choking on his iced tea. Both TK and Carlos shot him concerned looks until he managed to stop coughing long enough to speak. 

 “You’re a Yankee’s fan Carlos?” 

 Carlos nodded, “I mean, the Astros are the closest thing we have to a home team here in Austin, but if I want to watch quality baseball then there is nothing better than the Yankees.” 

 There is silence for a moment before Owen turns to TK with a serious expression, “If you don’t marry this boy, I just might.” 

 Carlos instantly blushes and looks away, but TK just rolls his eyes and groans, “Really dad?” 

 Owen holds up his hands defensively. “I’m just saying.” 

 TK shakes his head but turns back to Carlos who is still trying to look anywhere but at them and allows a small smile to spread across his face. He reaches over to gently turn Carlos’s face to meet his and gives him a light kiss. 

 “Ignore him, you should know that by now,” he tells Carlos who chuckles sheepishly. TK turns back to Owen, giving Carlos a moment to gather himself again. 

 “Did I miss anything else exciting since you two have apparently been hanging out since I’ve been gone?” 

 Owen shrugged, “We made dinner, it’s cooking right now and...oh!” he exclaimed leaning forward with a grin as he recalls, “You are officially off the hook because it turns out your boyfriend here golfs and he and I have a tee time scheduled next week.” 

 TK turns back to Carlos with raised eyebrows, “What, I leave for a few hours and you two suddenly become best friends?” 

 Carlos nods solemnly, “It’s true. Your dad is becoming dangerously close to being my favorite Strand.” 

 “Well, I have a few ideas as to how I can change that.” 

 Owen sighs wearily, “And that is my cue to leave the room before I see something I don’t want to ever see.”

 He gets up and gathers the glasses from the end table to bring with him into the kitchen. He turns back after he has deposited them in the sink and sees a sight that makes him pause. TK and Carlos are wrapped up in each other; talking closely. The smile on TK’s face shines even from the next room. As he watches Carlos places a light kiss on his son’s forehead and TK smile grows even more leaning down so he is tucked into the crook of Carlos's neck. 

 Owen turns away before they can notice him watching; before they can see the tears glimmering in his eyes. After everything, seeing his son this happy is enough to nearly make his heart burst. These past few weeks, in the aftermath of the shooting and the solar flare, somewhere amongst the tragedy and pain TK had found himself again. The person he saw each morning was no longer the stranger that had been born of betrayal and heartbreak. Now it was  his son - the TK he had known and loved his entire life. He was happier than words could express to have his son back; to see him happy once again. 

 Owen had had a strong suspicion that Carlos Reyes had had a roll in that transformation, but to see them like this; to see that smile on his son’s face - well, Owen knew two things for sure. 

 One, he was grateful for Carlos Reyes. 

 Two, TK finally had the love Owen had always wanted for him; the love he had always deserved.

 [Ao3]

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Can I be THE FIRST person that asks for your offline h/c fic recs? 😍 hurt/comfort is my absolute FAVOURITE genre, especially if Sherlock is the one sick/hurt....I’m a terrible human I know >_

Hi Nonny!!

AHAHAHAH OKAY SO HERE’S THE THINGS:

 I just realized I lied and I HAVE actually posted some H/C fics before, so those will be below. I’ve Emotional Hurt/Comfort as well, but I’m going to assume that y’all are looking for Whumpfort, LOL.

I have a LOT OF H/C fics, and because of that, I have to split them up into manageable chunks, so I’ve currently 2 sets of H/C fics already sorted offline. Both are updates to other H/C lists I have, so I’m going to pick the longer of the two. This one has some nice shorter fics, so you can probably yum up this entire list in one day, LOL

And because you mentioned Sherlock Whump, I’ll link you to that list as well :D

So YES. I really gotta get my shit together and finally post all the chunks of H/C fics I have so that I have so I can finally remove that giant list from my Angst list LOL. ANYWAY, here’s what I’ve got for you today!!

HURT / COMFORT Pt.2: 5K to 10K WORDS

See Also:

Hurt / Comfort Pt. 1: Under 5K Words

Doctor / Caretaker John

Doctor / Caretaker John Pt. 2 

Doctor / Caretaker John Pt. 3 

Sherlock is Sick/Hurt (Sherlock Whump) 

Sherlock Whump Pt. 2

Angsty Fluff

Self Harm, Danger Nights, and Drugs

Nightmares, PTSD, Panic Attack, & Mental / Emotional Turmoil

Sick Fics Master Post (May 2019)

Bed-Sharing Between Flatmates by testosterone_tea (T, 5,053 w., 1 Ch. || 5 and Ones, Bed Sharing, PTSD John, Science, Whump, Insecure Sherlock) – 5 times Sherlock had an excuse to share John’s bed, and the one time he didn’t need one.

Winter of Life by You_Light_The_Sky (T, 5,178 w., 1 Ch. || Christmas, Fluff & Angst, Magic Realism) – It was an experiment, really. On Christmas, Sherlock wrote to Santa asking for a friend. He got a broken toy soldier instead. This is the story of how he finds him again and again.

I think You Need A Doctor by TheGoodDirector (M, 5,254 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Sherlock Whump, Mistaken Couple, Humour, Platonics, Mary is Nice) – John’s not been to Baker Street in four months and returns to find a bleeding Consulting Detective. John can’t help but take care and put up with him. Set after The Sign of Three/Before His Last Vow.

The Refining Fire by Arwen Jade Kenobi (T, 5,451 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TGG AU, Angst, Friendship, Alternating POV (Lestrade, Mycroft, Sherlock), Worried Sherlock, Hospital Recovery) – Fire can burn things to ashes, but it can also burn things together.

Sleepless nights by El loopy (T, 5,467 w., 3 Ch. || Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares/Insomnia, Panic Attack, Worried Sherlock) – Sherlock has a nightmare and John wants to know what it was about. Set during season 1. Three-shot.

EMERGENCY CONTACT: Sherlock Holmes, RELATIONSHIP: n/a by blueink3 (M, 5,533 w, 1 Ch.. || Hurt John/3G, Fluff & Angst) – The first time John Watson’s emergency contact is called is the first time Sherlock Holmes finds out that he has the job. Part 1 of The Emergency Contact Series

Recovery by thesignsofserbia (T, 5,948 w., 1 Ch. || HLV-Fix It / Rewrite, Villain Mary, Pining Sherlock, Major Character Injury, Scars, Self-Hatred, POV Sherlock, Doctor John, Friends to Lovers) – Set after the confrontation with Mary, and Sherlock’s cardiac arrest, John stays at 221B to aid Sherlock’s recovery, forcing them to confront wounds both old and new as they try to heal their damaged relationship.

Not The Hands That Kill by You_Light_The_Sky (M, 6,201 w., 1 Ch. || Winglock, Whump, Mentions of Drug Use) – Having wings does not make Sherlock Holmes a guardian angel, not in the way that John Watson is his.

EMERGENCY CONTACT: John Watson, RELATIONSHIP: Saint by blueink3 (M, 6,229 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt Sherlock, 5+1, H/C, Caring John, Scars) – The first time Sherlock Holmes realizes he needs an emergency contact is the first time he mentally appoints John Watson with the job. John, of course, does not know this and neither does the local hospital. Part 2 of The Emergency Contact Series

Life and Death by patemalah21 (K+, 6,457 w., 3 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Drama, Sherlock POV, Sherlock Whump, Fun With Words) - Sometimes a small incident can lead to unexpected results. Sherlock and John explore their friendship. A bit humourous in this too, ends with a giggle.

The Death of Doubt by Gingerhermit (E, 6,584 w., 1 Ch. || Alternate Canon, BAMF John, POV Sherlock, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Hurt/Comfort, Angst/Drama, Meddling Mycroft) – Mycroft asks for John’s help in rescuing Sherlock from his Serbian captors.

When We Sleep by PrincessNala (K+, 6,660 w., 1 Ch || Post-TGG,  Alternating POV, Bed Sharing, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Hurt/Comfort, Hugs) – Sherlock needed to feel every beat of his heart, every rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. It was the only way to completely assure himself that John was alive and right there next to him, and not dead, no, never dead…

Bound Into the Fire by Tara Laurel (T, 6,672 w. || TEH, Suspense, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, Bonfire Scene, John Whump, Mary is Nice) – “John sometimes compared Sherlock Holmes to the flaming beast in his mind…Not such a bad way to go, John mused. Being consumed by Sherlock. Dying in his fire. No. This was different. He was burning alive. Not figuratively. Not some flowery metaphor. Burning.” There was no two minute stay of execution. “Amazing how fire exposes our priorities.”

Lost for Words by notactivesherlockaccount (T, 6,709 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, John Whump, Temporary Mute John) – While on a case, John temporarily loses his ability to speak, and he and Sherlock have to find a new way to communicate.

A Kiss and a Cuddle should be Sufficient by Evenlodes_Friend (E, 6,853 w., 3 Ch. || Gay Sex Club, Fake Relationship, PWP, Orgies, Rimming, BJ’s, Violence, Case Fic, Voyeurism) – Going undercover, Sherlock and John pursue a vicious killer to a gay group sex party. Not unexpectedly, things get a little out of hand. Set after Baskerville, but before the Fall.

BANG by ElvendorkInfinity (T, 7,016 w., 3 Ch. || Post-TGG AU, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Worried / Scared Sherlock, Alternating POV, Whump, Hospital Recovery, Open Ending) – ‘I should warn you,’ Sherlock says, his voice steady and his eyes fixed on Moriarty. 'You are sadly misinformed.’ And he fires. Prequel to M Is For Moriarty

Not Alone by taliapaxton (K+, 7,034 w., 6 Ch. || Angst, Friendship, MCD, Euthanasia) – Alone on the Water from Sherlock’s point of view. Inspired by the wonderful fiction, “Alone on the Water”

Inconvenient Timing by TheMadKatter13 (M, 7,072 w., 1 Ch. || Omegaverse || Omega John/Alpha Sherlock, Romance, Public Heat, Scared John, Protective / Worried / Possessive Sherlock, Post-TBB AU, Caring Sherlock, Pre-Slash, Happy Ending) – When John’s heat failed to appear three times in a row after he was shot, he figured it was just another broken piece off the broken toy soldier. So he was rather surprised to feel it start out of the blue…and not at all pleased with it starting while he was on the tube.

In Which “John” Becomes a Synonym for “Help” by asignoftwo (T, 7,391 w., 1 Ch. || Injured John, Worried Sherlock, Fluff) –  After the fall Sherlock returns to Baker Street and is reunited with John. When John is injured on a case Sherlock is faced with the reality that he could lose John again, and it tears him apart.

Drowning in Darkness by chappysmom (T, 7,575 w., 4 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapped John, Post-TRF Hiatus / Reunion, John Whump, Angst with Happy Ending, Depressed John, Background Case Fic) – He couldn’t decide if it was a relief or a curse that he’d been left completely, absolutely alone. You couldn’t fight darkness with your fists, and no matter how strong your will-power, it could be beaten down by the constant monotony of nothingness. Nobody needed John.

On Favors and Keeping Score by Ewebie (G, 7,622 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Sick Fic, Fluff, John Whump) –  John woke up to the horribly unpleasant sound of his clock alarm. Which meant he’d slept through his phone’s alarm. And for a moment he glared blearily at the noisemaker before smacking at it with his palm. Ugh, he felt like rubbish. The back of his throat was burning with the irritation that heralded a proper dose, his nose was threatening to drip every few seconds, and he had the uncomfortable flush that normally suggested a fever. Nothing high, just uncomfortable. Nothing deadly, just irritating. Nothing worth calling in sick with, just a full day of discomfort in the face of other people’s discomfort. It was going to be a day where he was forced to bite his tongue from telling people off. “You’re not as sick as I am, so off you pop.” Part 7 of Tumblr Shorts

Sometimes When We Touch by kedgeree (M, 7,755 w., 6 Ch. || Post-TRF, First Kiss/Time, Inappropriate Giggling, Romance, Friends to Lovers, Virgin Sherlock, John Whump, Touching) – John might be touching Sherlock a little more often than is strictly necessary. Sherlock probably hasn’t even noticed. Right…?

The Hours Before Midnight by Lady Sam Mallory (T, 7,773 w., 1 Ch. || TGG Fic, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Torture / John Whump, Kidnapping, Drugging, Alternating POV, Worried / Protective Sherlock) – Moriarty doesn’t play fair. John must deal with hours of torment from Moriarty before going to meet Sherlock at the Pool at the end of the Great Game and Sherlock must deal with the consequences of his boredom.

What Did I Do Wrong? by Starlight05 (T, 7,880 w., 5 Ch. || Hurt Comfort, Angst, John Whump, Hospitalization, Worried Sherlock, Emotional Turmoil, Nightmares, Sherlock Being Dumb) - After John almost dies on a case, Sherlock disappears. So John is left to figure out what he can do to get his best friend back. Meanwhile Sherlock, guilt-ridden and willingly alone, is doing everything he can to stay away.

Victim, Bait, Hero, Friend by KimberlyTheOwl (T, 7,887 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TGG Epilogue, Angst, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, Past Kidnapping / Torture / Implied Rape, Panic Attacks, Worried / Possessive Sherlock, Lestrade is a Good Friend) – Some insights into why John was perfectly willing to throw everything away for a chance to kill Moriarty at the pool. Trauma, ugliness, and finally healing. Some nice supporting work by Lestrade as well.

A Dangerous Mix by thebakerstreetgirl (K, 8,077 w., 1 Ch. || Angst, Whump, Drugs, Hurt/Comfort) – During a case, John gets attacked and Sherlock and Lestrade find him with a mysterious drug running through the army doctor’s veins.

Beyond the Vow by tunteeton (M, 8,994 w., 1 Ch. || Love Confessions, Angst with Happy Ending, Post-S3, Explosions, Mary is Good-ish?, 3G, Infant Death) – Being a sociopath was never this emotionally exhausting.

With This Ring by Quesarasara (E, 9,121 w. || Est. Rel., Marriage Proposal, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Idiots in Love, Embarrassing Hospital Visits) – Sometimes even the best of plans go wrong. And sometimes wrong turns out to be exactly right.

Five Times Sherlock Realized He Was Getting Older by Mildred Graves (T, 9,215 w., 6 Ch. || Five and Ones, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Getting Old) – … And one time it didn’t matter.

Incapacitation by Cumberbatch Critter (T, 9,424 w., 6 Ch. || Hurt / Comfort, Friendship, Sick Sherlock, Doctor John, Appendicitis) – The doctor had just asked how bad the pain was when the pain spiked. Sherlock’s initial response was a gasp that evolved into a whimper. “Ten,” he gasped. “Ten…”

Drive by lifeonmars (M, 9,537 w., 1 Ch. || Virginity, Awkward First Times, Minor Injuries) – John and Sherlock are stranded by the roadside, and John is injured. They need to spend the night in the back of a humvee. Sherlock is confused. John is understanding.

[bunnylouisegrimes]

Episode 8 Review

The usual spoilers

Alright, this episode was pretty good in the beginning with some stuff here and there I didn’t like, but that ending... that ending leaves a sour taste in your mouth.

Normally I start with the bad first, then the good, but I feel I should do chronological order for this one since most of the good is before the bad.

For starters, I enjoyed the very beginning with Chris at his dad’s funeral. For once, seeing an aspect of Vic’s childhood was interesting. You feel pretty bad for Chris because of the rough childhood he had, and you feel bad because he became his father. It’s good that he’s definitely changed tho. He pissed me off (and I’m sure everyone else off) last season, and to see him get emotional all those years before is definitely something. Seeing him grow now is rewarding.

I do really like how both of Vic’s parents see her bridge and are amazed by it. Idk why, but I always find it incredibly satisfying in a story when all the characters understand something/everything. I’m sure we all do, but clarification in a story has always brought me a satisfaction comparable to that of watching those satisfying video complications on YouTube.

How Bing is alive still... I have no idea. Maybe because he was sitting and that helped slow down the blood flow? Honestly, I really wanted them to get information out of him, then have him die. Look, there is a part of me that feels bad for him and sorry for him, but his actions are way less forgivable than Charlie’s. If you ask me, despite him talking with Vic (and hell, maybe at this point he does feel bad for what he did, although that is hard to believe because he did genuinely enjoy raping people, and rape is one of those actions it’s very hard to find really any redemption in once you commit it), I don’t see anyone forgiving his ass, and they shouldn’t. I also think Bing has always been a ticking time bomb. Who knows, if Charlie hadn’t come into their lives, he could’ve hurt Vic if she came off as “too nice” to him. We see what he did to his mom, despite her loving him and being the only good person in his life. He interprets love as something darker, and while it’s horrible that he thinks that way, and I understand what his childhood did to his mind, he has the knowledge that it’s wrong to do it (I mean, he has to subdue people with the gas, and he clearly sees his victims are unwilling) and he should stop it, yet he doesn’t. Charlie actually believes that what he’s doing is right, and there is a part of you that can see that in some regards, he is right, keeping kids away from harmful parents. What good comes out of rape? The only good that comes out of it is the benefit to himself for getting his sick pleasures. He does it all because he can and likes it, no other purpose. He could’ve gotten help, he could’ve tried to keep that all in and express it in a safe environment, he could’ve restrained himself from doing these things... yet he didn’t. If he had just killed the parents and strictly did nothing of a particularly cruel nature, you could understand Bing more and respect his character. But since he didn’t... it makes things harder. Is it respectable that he admitted he’s wrong? Yes. Should he be forgiven? Well... not really, at least imo. If Bing has any redeeming qualities, there are very few. Since he is kept alive, I hope he’s either rotting in prison or kept in a place where he can maybe get help that he needs. I think most importantly, I’m more than a little annoyed at this whole, “Yeah, we’ll write the rapist more sympathetically before we do the main antagonist, who’s actions are questionable and one could understand his intent. He doesn’t rape anybody and finds the act repulsive and kills rapists... but he’s less sympathetic just because he’s the main bad guy 😀.” Yeah, okay writers...

Moving on from the only truly bad thing in the episode before the ending, everything else seemed to be fine. I’m concerned with Maggie and Tabitha’s relationship, I really hope they’ll be okay. Tabitha was badass getting the respect and recognition she deserves for the work she does. Even though she made the stupid decision of going into that church by herself and possibly getting killed, I do love the balls she has, I just hope she doesn’t get herself killed by being stupid. Her and Maggie are a great couple and I love them. I feel bad for Vic and I hate that she feels so low about herself. I did like her talking with her dad. The confrontation with Millie was interesting, and I’m curious to see what’s in store with that. Based on the “next time” preview at the end of the episode, we finally make it to Christmasland, and I’m very interested (but also a little anxious) about what’s gonna happen next.

Now, the ending... this damn ending...

First of all, when Maggie was confronting Wayne, why didn’t she grab his ornament? Maggie is not a stupid character. Did she get hit by the car last season and not make smarter decisions on how to avoid it (ex, maybe getting in between two other cars)? Sure, but we’ll cut her slack, it was a very in the moment thing. This? I mean... they were anticipating this. You mean to tell me she couldn’t have thought of trying to get that ornament out of his hand and taking it away from him? She tricked the Hourglass for Christ’s sakes. It looks like from the preview she’s collecting their ornaments, but still, especially in that moment, she would’ve grabbed his. It might’ve made Wayne have a strength over his old self... what’s weird is in the book, he’s holding onto both sides of himself throughout his entire journey, in this they’re making it seem as though he has no control anymore. Which leads me to my next point...

Where is Craig in all of this? What, so his efforts didn’t do dick? What was the point in having him the last two episodes? I believe in the book, Wayne’s grandma (aka Linda McQueen), is helping him in a spirit form, and also by him “thinking backwards.” Craig was helping him by reminding him of Vic and staying by him. It would’ve made so much more sense for Craig to be by his side still (or hell, in the car if he can’t leave it and telling Wayne to “remember the plan”), Wayne “puts” the ornament on the tree (or Maggie takes it off after he puts it on), and Craig stays by him. Nope, let’s make his character useless. Who knows if he’ll return next episode, I’m hoping he will, but even if he does, it’s still annoying that his character has done little to nothing at this point when there was so much potential, and it seems to be almost too late. I’m glad Wayne didn’t eat Maggie or Lou like I feared (Lou did get a nip I suppose, which was a little unneeded if you ask me). I was hoping for more potential from Craig, guess we’ll have to see if there will be...

Another point: WHY THE HELL IS THIS CAR TOO OVERPOWERED? Seriously, it makes no sense. You can make Charlie’s abilities as op as you want so long as it’s not ridiculous, I could see that. But the car? That’s his total weakness. It can be stronger than the average car, but if lighting it on fire deals with it, explosions would. That is beyond lazy writing.

Now, the worst part: Chris’s death. Of course, let’s kill a character when he just seemed to redeem himself (but the character that rapes people and can’t really be redeemed, we’re gonna keep him alive, maybe he’ll get a redemption arch 🙂). Once again, writers, why are you making the most stupid choices? While his death wasn’t as stupid as his death in the book where officers shoot him down when he’s trying to protect Vic from one (this is all under Tabitha’s command, let’s just say she’s not that great of a cop in the book or with Maggie, I enjoy her character changes for the show), his death, the way I see it, is still insulting and pointless. Realistically, they could’ve kept him alive, what is the point of not? Also, I know that bike is heavy, but why wouldn’t Vic get up and kick some ass? Of course, her bike would act up just as the Wraith is coming towards her (what is the point of that too?). I really think Chris’s death was just for shock value and filler, and to make Charlie look like an even worse villain (because they reeeeally want to drill this point home, if the way his backstory is presented in the show wasn’t proof enough, which is stupid because we UNDERSTAND WRITERS. It’s you guys that don’t understand that Charlie is established as the villain through being the antagonist and his conflicting actions). While I’m glad they didn’t kill an even more important character (ex, Maggie or Lou or Vic), it’s still stupid to waste all that character development on Chris just for him to go out anyways, all for shock value filler and to make Charlie worse. Again, not saying he’s a saint, not saying it’s out of the realm of possibility for him to want to get revenge on Vic this way, but still, isn’t he already getting revenge on her through Wayne (plus, to him it’s poetic justice that he’s “saving” him from her). There’s really no point to Chris’s death. This reminded me heavily of TWD when they would pull that shock value filler crap with killing characters, and making a villain look worse than needed (an example is what they did with Negan in the show by writing him as even more evil and less redeemable than he is in the comics). I genuinely hope they don’t pull more of this.

All in all, this episode had it’s good moments I enjoyed, but there was definitely some stupidity and bad moments I despised. Let’s hope these last two episodes where shit gets more serious will be better. I’m hoping this show does not turn to crap through a series of stupid decisions, much like TWD did. I will be sorely disappointed at AMC...

[megalony]

Slip up

This is another murderer! Ben Hardy imagine that I hope everyone is going to enjoy, feedback is always appreciated.

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Murderer! Ben masterlist

Summary: Joe asks (Y/n) for a favour that could get her into trouble with her husband Ben and she really doesn’t want to get on his bad side.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Joe... I'm really not allowed to do that." (Y/n) could already feel the shaking setting into her bones from the mere thought of what he was asking her to do. She hoped he would understand and walk away but he followed her down the corridor that was as cold as a freezer. (Y/n) could feel the chill in the air nipping at her skin causing goosebumps to arise on her flesh. Her head turned to look at her friend who was walking alongside her, his expression just as desperate as her own. He knew what he was asking but he wouldn't even be asking if he wasn't in trouble.

"I know, I know but if he finds out I didn't put all the cash back in there he'll kill me. (Y/n), please."

A shudder ran down both their spines when they both knew that Joe's ill-fated remark was not an exaggeration. Joe would be hurt and fired for this, if not killed in the end as well and he valued his life and his job here. He needed (Y/n) to help him out before Ben went upstairs and realised what Joe had done out of desperation.

It had been Joe's week this week to collect the money the club was owed and normally it was no problem at all. All the men knew they could use brute force to get what they needed and they had their guns on them at all times for added protection and as means of threat. But when Joe got the money, he didn't give all of it to Ben to put in the safe, he had to keep a bit back to use for his own purpose and that was strictly against the rules. Joe was a stickler for the rules- at least, for the rules imposed by Ben, not the law- but this one time he had to go against them. But he had the intention of giving the money back before Ben even noticed it was gone and today he had the money to put back in the safe.

But the problem was, the safe was upstairs and no one was permitted in the upstairs office without Ben being present, not even (Y/n) could go up there on her own.

Joe needed that money in the safe today because it was the day of the week for counting the money and paying the wages and bills. If Ben noticed it was gone he would know exactly who had taken it and then he would have Joe's head for it.

But (Y/n) could put it back.

"I don't own a key for the door, Ben does." (Y/n) wrung her hands together in front of her as she stopped walking and turned to face Joe.

"But you know the code to get up the stairs and the code for the safe... can't you take his keys for five minutes, please? Just put the cash in the safe and then put the keys back, he trusts you."

There was a key code on the side of the door that led to the stairs needed to reach the first floor. (Y/n) was permitted to know the code since she was married to Ben and he owned the club, but she didn't have a set of keys for the safe room upstairs so she couldn't get in without Ben's set of keys that she knew had five keys on it. One for the front door, one for the back door, one to his main office downstairs, one for the office door upstairs and one for the desk drawers in his downstairs office.

"I... okay, fine. But I really can't get in trouble if he finds out, you know that." (Y/n) could put the money back but she couldn't take the blame if Ben found out what she was doing, she wasn't getting on his bad side and Joe knew it would be far too much to ask her to lie for him if she got caught.

Just because Ben loved her didn't mean he didn't threaten or hurt her if she went against him.

When the pair reached Ben's downstairs office, (Y/n) tried the door before reaching into her pocket for her car keys that held the keys she was allowed to have for the club and her house key. She desperately hoped that Ben didn't have the office keys attached to his belt loop like he sometimes did or Joe was as good as dead.

Her footsteps were light like she was a spy or a burglar even though she was allowed in this office. Her heart started pounding against her chest when she saw the keys resting on the corner of Ben's desk and she wasted no time in swiping them from the desk. (Y/n) could barely breathe when she stepped out of the office and locked it back up behind her. Was she really going to do this? (Y/n) had a hard time trying to find somewhere in her house to hide presents from Ben, or even just walking around the club on her own. Actually snooping around like this was going to give her a panic attack or even a heart attack.

"Love," Ben's voice hit (Y/n)'s ears like a truck and her whole body froze in place before slowly turning on her heels to face her husband who put the fear of God into her despite how much she loved him. "Can you go sit at the desk for five minutes, Adam had to pop out."

Ben's words were more of an order than a request but he was trying his best not to sound controlling because his controlling nature was beginning to be a problem. He didn't see the way (Y/n)'s breath left her lips in a huff of relief before she managed to smile and nod.

"Sure." (Y/n) leaned into his shoulder when he walked over to her, his arm winding around her waist but his eyes darted between her and Joe, wondering what the pair of them were doing. Joe dipped his head at Ben before walking past him, clearly heading into the boxing ring room.

They had a front reception area at the main entrance for the few people who came here to box rather than to work for Ben. They had to be checked and signed in and it was relatively easy until someone got frisky or demanded to be let in when they weren't a member. (Y/n) never minded sitting at the desk, she could daydream and only had to smile politely at the members, most of which she knew and never had to ask for ID or a name to press the buzzer and let them into the gym/ boxing ring.

"I have a meeting in five, I'll come see you when it's finished." (Y/n) hummed in response, smiling when she felt Ben's lips pressing to the top of her head and she tightened her arms around his waist before eventually pulling back to go to work.

(Y/n)'s eyes landed on Joe when she walked into the ring, seeing two guys in the ring and three others stood around at the punching bags lined up near the windows. She reached her hand out when she walked past Joe and he placed the envelope of cash into her hand which she quickly stuffed into her back pocket, ready to put it in her bag that was hanging up in reception.

"I'll try putting it back as soon as Adam takes over at the desk." She whispered quietly before pressing the green button to head out into reception.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She could hear the way her heels clicked against the floorboards despite the carpet separating them. Her hand clung to the banister which she used to swing around the small corner on the steps and then again around the next corner until she was bounding down the narrow but straight part of the staircase. Her heels sounded like the hooves of horses against the road when she reached the bottom of the stairs and was back onto the concrete surface.

Peeking out of the window in the door, (Y/n) checked the corridor was clear before she opened the door and slipped out, closing the door until it clicked so it couldn't be opened again without putting in the code.

Now all she had to do was put the keys back on Ben's desk and everything would be fine.

(Y/n) held her breath to calm down her erratic breathing and heartbeat before she proceeded down the corridor until she reached Ben's office which she spent a lot of her time in. But the moment she opened the door that she found to be unlocked, the hairs on her arms pricked up and she stopped breathing when her eyes set on her husband.

"Where are my keys?" The words passed through Ben's lips in a cold sneer that showed he knew (Y/n) was the one who had them. Ben wasn't stupid, he had his keys on the desk and locked the door when he left earlier, (Y/n) was the only other person who could get into his office so it had to be her because Ben knew exactly where he left them and now they weren't there.

(Y/n)'s hand automatically reached behind her into her back pocket, her fingers curling around the key ring that she slipped over her finger to hold them better but she didn't pull her hand away. She walked closer to Ben but he was quick to meet her halfway, looming over her like a towering skyscraper that was about to crash down on her.

"Do you know what just happened?" Ben leaned his head down until his face was inches away from (Y/n)'s and his eyes could burn into hers that were already glossing over with tears of panic and terror.

"N-no..."

"I just had a meeting, and when I came to open my desk drawer to get the papers out, my fucking keys weren't there. Now the only person who could take my keys and lock my office door again is you, so why did you take them and what have you been up to?"

A shiver ran down (Y/n)'s spine as she visibly cowered back from Ben who was petrifying her with just his words. He narrowed his eyes, watching as she swallowed the lump in her throat before her chest was heaving up and down like she'd just ran a marathon. He had no idea why she would want his keys but he was beyond pissed that she had taken them and caused him to be embarrassed like he just was.

Ben was the on in control, he had to be feared by everyone but when he came to making a deal with the two men who just left the club, he looked like an idiot. He couldn't find his keys he always had on his person and therefore he had to jam a metal ruler between the desk and the drawer and smash it open to get the papers out he needed before the men called off the deal that Ben needed to happen. He couldn't have looked more desperate, enraged and unhinged smashing open his own drawer because they thought he'd simply misplaced his keys like he was that much of a simple idiot.

"Baby I- I'm sorry, I had to put something in the safe... I didn't think..."

"Do you know how fucking embarrassing that was for me, not having the key to my own shitting drawer? I had to break the damn thing open to get my papers out." Ben's hand was suddenly gripping (Y/n)'s chin with an iron grasp like he was trying to smash her jawbone to pieces. His thumb and forefinger pressed bruisingly into her cheeks and made her lips pout until a tear finally escaped her eye.

"I'm sorry." (Y/n) whimpered through the words that she truly meant but if Joe hadn't of feared for his life and his job she wouldn't had to of taken Ben's keys. If Ben was more understanding or a bit more relaxed this wouldn't have happened.

"Why were you going into the safe? You don't have a key to that room for a reason, you need something you ask me." Ben growled and snarled like an animal before he roughly let go of her chin, throwing her head to the side as he let go. But (Y/n) knew by his tone that he didn't really care if she told him the reason or not and that made her heart calm down for one tiny second. She didn't have to come up with a lie or dare to tell the truth and make Joe lose his job.

Finally realising that her hand was still stuffed into her back pocket, (Y/n) gingerly pulled her arms to her chest, holding both hands together with her keys enclosed in the middle like a precious pearl inside a clam.

Out of instinct, (Y/n)'s hand twitched and her fingers spasmed and curled into her palm, pushing the small key fob with five different keys into the palm of her hand like her skin was a mould for the indents of the keys. She could feel each jagged edge pressing against the tough skin of her hand until they were slowly slicing through each layer and letting small droplets of blood rise to the surface.

Her whole body jolted when Ben's hand cinched around her wrist like an iron bar that dug into the small amount of flesh and dug into the thin bones of her wrist. It took no effort for Ben to swiftly pull her wrist until her hand was within his line of sight that was daring yet so infuriated that his eyes were blazing like a wildfire. He watched with some sense of delight how (Y/n)'s breathing escalated but turned shallow until she was barely breathing at all.

Ben's other hand curled around (Y/n)'s hand that reminded him of an oyster shell that was unwilling to open up and reveal the secrets held within. He dug his nails into her fingers and slowly but easily bent them backwards until her spasming hand opened up to reveal the keys she was hiding with the circular key ring hooked over her finger to hold all the keys at once.

(Y/n) couldn't bite back a whimper when Ben's hand tightened around her much smaller wrist until she was sure he was going to snap the bone in two.

"Don't you dare pull a stunt like that again."

His words were menacing, but his expression was more frightening than anything else. The way his eyes were scrutinising her and the way his lips contorted into such an angered snarl and bared his teeth made (Y/n) want to shrink back and disappear or have the floor swallow her up whole.

"I won't, I d-didn't mean to-"

A petrified yelp left (Y/n)'s lips when the key ring hanging around her middle finger was suddenly wrenched back, scraping against the skin of her finger before catching on the bend of her finger. The sickening snap that followed could be felt throughout her hand, arm, neck and spine which sent tingles running along every nerve fibre she owned. She couldn't be sure if he meant to break her finger or not but when she dared to open her watering eyes and look up at her husband, there was very little remorse in his eyes.

She'd shown him up in front of his clients, the people who were supposed to fear him and bow down to him were almost mocking him because of her. He wasn't about to be sorry for breaking her finger after that.

"One more slip up and I won't hesitate to punish you, sweetheart."

[vierschanzentournee]

1 and 3 for the bookish questions? 🥰👀

hayley i have literally no idea when you sent me this sorry but THANK YOU SM!!

1. What is your favourite book and/or book series of all time? 

Okay I have two (2) favourites series and I could literally talk abt them all day so like. Sorry in advance.

They’re both by the same author, Sebastien de Castell (who’s releasing the first book in a new series... soon? July, I think!), who I clearly owe my entire life to!

The first is the Greatcoats series, which was his first, and has four books - essentially, the Greatcoats were once travelling magistrates who enforced the King’s Law in the nation of Tristia, until a bunch of assholes (the Dukes) rise up against the King, overthrow and execute him, and leave the Greatcoats a) unemployed and b) hated and reviled throughout the country. They’re narrated by Falcio val Mond, First Cantor of the Greatcoats, and also the world’s stupidest man, who somehow manages to be both incredibly endearing and supremely irritating, and for whom I would absolutely give my life if he wasn’t so keen to die all the time. Before his execution, the King (whom Falcio absolutely adored) gave each of the Greatcoats a special order (there were 144 of them, so I’m not sure how he had time, but whatever) - Falcio’s is to find one of the King’s charoites. Unfortunately, he has no idea what the fuck that is, he’s broke, his best friends Kest and Brasti aren’t even sure why they stick with him anymore (actually, that’s unfair to Kest, Kest is extremely loyal to Falcio above all else for the whole series), and THAT is where the first book, Traitor’s Blade, begins! (SPOILERS from here onwards!) Falcio finds his charoite about halfway through the first book in the form of a 13-year-old girl called Aline - the same name as Falcio’s wife, who was brutally raped and murdered by a local Duke when they were 20. At the end of the book Falcio realises Aline is in fact the King’s daughter (although, to be fair, Brasti realised it first) and the rest of the series is essentially Falcio trying to protect Aline (major spoiler: this does not work and she dies halfway through the last book and I cried SO HARD) and fighting back against various groups that threaten Tristia and the Laws he worked so hard to uphold back in the day. Along the way, he gets a girlfriend (who becomes Saint of Mercy in the third book and was, somehow, once possessed by the memory of his dead wife Aline), reunites with various former Greatcoats who hate his ass to varying degrees (but like, lovingly, for the most part), has extremely cute emotional bonding moments with Kest and Brasti (like the time Falcio was poisoned and was paralysed for longer and longer every time he woke up and Brasti decided to put a coffin over him one morning for funsies! I love him very much), and collects, by my count, at least 4 children (or at least people he cares for in a Very Paternal Manner).

The second series is called Spellslinger, and it has six books because life is good and SdC writes fast (side eyes @ Scott Lynch). The premise is this: Kellen comes from a people called the Jan’Tep, whose entire society essentially is built around the magic they wield. When Jan’Tep children turn 16, they must take their trials to become mages - if they fail, they are sent away from their family to become a part of the Sha’Tep, who are pretty much the Jan’Tep’s slaves. Kellen’s problem is this: he’s, like, two days away from turning 16, and he has pretty much no magic. All Jan’Tep have six “bands”, representing the different elements of magic: iron, silk, sand, breath, blood, and ember - there’s a seventh element too, shadow, but Jan’Tep children are not banded in shadow, as it’s considered evil. Sparking a band basically means you’re able to wield the element of that band - to pass your mage’s trials, you need to have sparked two. At the start of the first book, Kellen still hasn’t sparked any. His father is a powerful clan leader, his mother is a talented mage, and his younger sister Shalla is a prodigy with unheard-of talent, and yet Kellen, despite everything his parents have tried, has little to no magic, and seems destined for a life among the Sha’Tep. The book opens with Kellen’s first trial, his duel, which he’s just about managing to bluff his way through until Shalla (fucking Shalla) realises he’s cheating, and, in some wild attempt to make him find some power or something, literally stops his heart. He’s saved by a mysterious red-haired woman called Ferius Parfax, who speaks with the equivalent of a Southern drawl and is just kind of wildly competent at pretty much everything. I’m now at risk of literally just rewriting the entire first book here so: Kellen spends more time with Ferius, although it’s discouraged, continues to fail his mage’s trials, uncovers a Sha’Tep rebellion conspiracy fuelled by a rival Jan’Tep clan leader, and, crucially is counterbanded by his parents - that is, his parents fill his bands with molten metal and magic sigils which mean he’ll never be able to spark them. This is a horribly painful process, emotionally and physically, to which Kellen never agreed, and he’s literally strapped down to a table for days - he discovers that his grandmother banded him in shadow, a strictly forbidden practice, and that he has the shadowblack, considered a terrible affliction which probably hints at some terrible inner darkness, although throughout the first book the main effect for Kellen is just some dark markings around his left eye. With the help of a violent squirrel cat, with whom Kellen can somehow communicate and whom he freed from a Jan’Tep cage several days ago, he manages to escape before his parents counterband his breath band, and he sparks it - it turns out that he was actually as powerful as Shalla, but the things his parents made him take to “cure” his weakness were in fact suppressing his power. Long story short, the counterbanding and the shadowblack kind of... end his hopes of a normal life in Jan’Tep society, and so he runs away with Reichis (the squirrel cat) and Ferius (who, as it turns out, is Argosi - a traveller who kind of... not quite predicts things, but notes the likely course of events in the world around her) to become an outlaw - specifically, a spellslinger, an outlaw mage who has a little magic, a few tricks, and their hopefully sharp wits to live by.

Tragically, Kellen’s wits are not very sharp, and he spends the next five books being kind of terrible at being an outlaw, crying after every single fight he’s in (verbatim, “I always cry after a fight”), developing a very sweet mentor-student/parent-child relationship with Ferius, reuniting with his childhood crush Nephenia (who had to leave the Jan’Tep for... reasons), becoming best friends with the squirrel cat, getting separated from Ferius for two books, and tearfully reuniting with her in the final book, after which she prompty nearly dies.

So. Uh. I’m super sorry, I was UNAWARE of exactly how much happened in Spellslinger (like, the first book, which is also titled Spellslinger) in particular, and I just really love talking about them! I’m an absolute sucker for found family dynamics and characters learning to appreciate both themselves and the people around them, and both series are absolutely full of that!

3. What is the oldest book you have ever read? (Based on its written date) 

I’m currently reading the Odyssey for my school’s epic reading group (as in, a group for reading epic literature, not just... it’s really cool), so I suppose it’s that!

[coquelicoq]

Shaofei was feeling pretty good about his most recent injury, all things considered.

It wasn't serious, so recovery time would be minimal. It was on his forearm, so it would be easy to cover during his next prison visit. He hadn't gotten this injury on the job, so there wouldn't be any pesky paperwork. They’d sent him to the hospital for stitches, which in his opinion was excessive, but he could go home as soon as that was taken care of, and that would surely happen any minute now.

All in all, a lucky turn of events, he was thinking to himself in a self-congratulatory way, when he heard a familiar, very agitated voice coming down the hallway and suddenly had to reevaluate. Damn. His luck had just run out.

Hongye threw open the door and barreled into the room. She was breathing heavily - definitely from anger, but maybe also from running, he couldn't tell - and stopped in her tracks when her eyes met Shaofei’s. It sure was a good thing looks couldn't kill, or Shaofei would have found out right then and there if Grandma Zhao had been wrong about that whole “only a cannon” business.

He shrank back against the cushions, subconsciously making himself look as small and meek as possible.

She let out a growl of frustration and spun away from him. He watched her stomp around the room, picking up random objects and plonking them back down with more force than was strictly necessary, and caught snippets of the angry diatribe she was reciting under her breath: "…didn't sign up for…minding my own…fall in love with a…of all people…absolute buffoonery…believe what I have to put up with…babysit your own damn stupid reckless boyfriend...deserve each other…" Eventually she propped herself against a windowsill several feet away from him and took a deep breath. "I am a fucking saint," she muttered to herself.

"Hongye," he offered, cautiously. "I'm okay. It's just a scratch. It's barely even bleeding anymore, look."

She ignored him.

The silence stretched out uncomfortably. He had to ask. "Are you gonna tell Tang Yi?"

She snorted. "Am I gonna - no, I'm not gonna tell Tang Yi! My idiot brother with terrible taste in men has enough to worry about already, and you and I had an agreement, didn’t we? Not to add to his worries? So no, obviously I won’t tell him. Though," she said, turning to glare at him, "it would be nothing more than what you deserve."

He was used to their usual dynamic – he irritated her, she made fun of him; he was affectionate, she was acerbic. But this time she was angry, not just annoyed, and there was no teasing in her tone. She must be really worried about Tang Yi finding out. He tried again. "Meimei," he said softly, “it's really nothing. It will heal right up. And it won't happen again, I promise."

"Don't you 'meimei' me," she grumbled, but she finally came to stand next to the bed. "And how can you promise that? Have you gotten all the criminals in Taiwan to pinky-swear not to stab you anymore?"

Ah. He had…not thought this far ahead. "Well. It, uh, wasn't a criminal this time. It was just a small accident, and now that I know how to avoid it, there won’t be any repeats."

She raised her eyebrows. "An accident? What kind of accident?"

He had really been hoping she would let it go. The story was not exactly flattering. He shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant. "I was cooking, and I had a slip-up with some knives." That was a normal reason people got injured, right? It was also not technically a lie. Surely she would be satisfied with that.

Or not. "Some knives? Knives, plural? Were you using multiple knives at the same time, Meng Shaofei? Who told you that was allowed? You barely know how to use one knife by itself! Do you need to be supervised in the kitchen now? Can I ever let you out of my sight?!" He opened his mouth to defend himself, but she wasn't done. "So, what, did you somehow use one knife to launch another knife at your body? Maybe you mistook one of the knives for a vegetable, and when you tried to chop the end off, you accidentally catapulted it into the air?"

This sarcasm was totally uncalled for. He felt a pout coming on. "I w-"

"And another thing," she cut in. "How the fuck did you cut the back of the forearm of your dominant hand with one or more knives? Explain to me how such a thing could happen. Does your body not obey the physical laws of the universe? Do you have an extra joint in your arm somewhere?"

"I have the normal number of joints and I obey all laws, including the physical ones!" he got out when she stopped for air. "And I only had one of the knives. Zhao Zi had the other one."

Oh no. He shouldn’t have said that. "Are you telling me," she said calmly, "that that utter nincompoop Zhao Li An slashed open your arm with a knife and I'm just now hearing about it? Okay. Where is he now? I just want to talk."

"I think he's…dealing with the fire department. But that's not important," Shaofei said quickly before she could ask any more questions. "Please don't be mad at him - it really wasn't his fault. He had Jack's butterfly knife and he was showing me a trick he had just learned to do - " Hongye's nostrils flared dangerously, and the rest came out in a rush. "It looked easy and I didn't see why he thought it was so impressive, so he bet me I couldn't do it, which obviously I had to disprove, so I went to take the knife from him but I was already holding a chef’s knife, so I tried to hand him that knife at the same time I was taking his knife, which I see now was a mistake, obviously, in hindsight it was not a very wise decision, and I have learned from this turn of events and I won't do it again, but anyway, I ended up jerking my arm away to avoid, you know, stabbing my best friend, and he hadn’t been expecting any sudden movements, so he jerked his arm, and that sort of made the butterfly knife, um, flip around, as butterfly knives do, and it just so happened that my forearm was kind of a little bit in the path of the knife, so I sort of got a tiny little cut as a result of that. But, uh, more than that, I learned a valuable lesson about knife safety and I think that is probably more important, in the long run, if you really think abou-"

"Meng Shaofei." She had closed her eyes at some point during his rambling, and he couldn’t tell from her tone what kind of reaction to prepare for. He was just hoping she was no longer focused on how to find and murder Zhao Zi. He waited.

She opened her eyes. "That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. When you are healed I am going to mock you endlessly for this.”

“Hey!” he said, indignant. She was calling him dumb even more than usual today. And maybe he deserved it this time, but still.

Her lips twitched in what might have been a smile, but then she turned serious. “Shaofei, you really have to be more careful. You made me a promise, and I expect you to keep it."

"I will. I know now that if I’m gonna take a knife from someone, I should make sure to put down any knives I might be holding first. I won’t make that mistake again, trust me.” He smiled at her. It was such a relief to be reaching a resolution.

She was lost for words for a moment. “Are you – are you serious? That’s what you’re taking away from this?” She threw up her hands. “Shaofei, when you said you could promise me it wouldn’t happen again, I was thinking something more along the lines of I’ll stop playing with dangerous pointy objects like they’re toys or I’ll avoid distractions while I’m cooking or maybe All my future playdates with the one person in the world who’s dumber than me will take place in a padded room. Not I’ll do everything exactly the same except I’ll try slightly harder not to stab anyone!”

He was pretty sure she was making fun of him again, so he rolled his eyes. What a family of drama queens. "Are you worried about me all of a sudden? Hongye, I’m touched.” He reached a hand up to her shoulder playfully.

She shook him off immediately. "I'm not worried, I'm angry. Why do you cause me so much trouble? Do you think I don’t have better things to do than visit you in the hospital? Do you think I enjoy seeing you covered in blood, again? Can you for once think of what you put me through?"

This was maybe the most earnest he had ever seen her. Wait, was she actually worried about him? He tried to look contrite, but it was a struggle; for some reason he felt like he'd just won something.

She seemed to realize what she'd just said and hurried to add, "Not that I'm angry on my own behalf. I couldn't care less if you stabbed yourself in a different body part every day for the rest of your sorry life. I just would hate to have to comfort Tang Yi at your funeral."

Her walls were back up, but he could tell. She was worried about him! He knew it would annoy her if he looked happy about it, so he managed to rein in his smile somehow, though he couldn’t stop his eyes from lighting up. "Of course," he said evenly. "I'm sure your life would be so much easier if I was out of the picture, except for the grief it would cause Tang Yi." He should get some kind of acting award for how well he was keeping a straight face under these conditions.

"Exactly," she agreed, "but since I don't want to see him in pain, you could consider going a couple days in a row without landing yourself in the hospital. Just every now and then. I wouldn't want to cramp your style."

He gave up trying to stop the smile; his face just wasn't cut out for hiding emotions. "I will do my best. For Tang Yi."

She closed her eyes again and inhaled through her nose. "For Tang Yi." She opened one eye to see him grinning broadly at her and punched him in the shoulder. “Stop being so pleased with yourself. You’re the worst sister-in-law a person could ever have. Someday our roles will be reversed and you’ll have to visit me in the hospital, and then you’ll realize what a nightmare you’ve been.”

He’d never looked at it that way before, and he realized suddenly how much he would hate to be in her position. “Hongye…” he started. She rolled her eyes and gave his head a little shove. “Shut up and get your stitches. Dao Yi will be by later to drive you home. He’s making dinner tonight, and you’re banned from the kitchen. Indefinitely.” And with a final look that was – unless he was imagining things – pretty damn fond, she turned and started out of the room.

He was just congratulating himself again on his great luck when she stopped, halfway out the door, and turned back. "One more thing. The fire department?"

Oh, crap. He thought he’d gotten that past her. Maybe he could downplay it? He cleared his throat and said in his most casual voice, "It's all under control now, so you don't need to worry, but we were a little distracted by the…the blood, and whatnot, and we maybe forgot? About the food on the stove? And one thing led to another and I guess sometime after I left, the fire department had to come by and check on things. But it's all fine now, I'm told. Zhao Zi is taking care of it. Hongye? Don't look at me like that. It worked out! Everyone's fine! Nothing burned down! I'll never touch another knife for as long as I live! I'll carry a fire extinguisher everywhere I go! Oh come on, not the handcuffs agai- HONGYE! COME BACK HERE!!"

[tk-duveraun]

@soltheshiny I’ve got a lot to start with and it might be easier to save this way than in messages. 👌

If you’re on mobile, I heartily apologize, there’s a read more you won’t see and beneath it is some discussion of bodily functions.

1) Try not to dwell. I know, it sounds impossible. You can’t ignore the pain, let alone the other symptoms. However, our monkey brains are really dumb. The more you think about something, the more extreme your emotions surrounding it become. So if you feel 4/10 bad about something, but then think about it for ages, you’ll suddenly feel 6/10 bad.

Look at cute pictures

Color in a coloring book (also good for anxiety)

Play a video game

Read a book

Listen to a podcast

I know, it’s like “think of anything but a purple elephant” and it will still be there in your head, but when it’s not the focus, your brain doesn’t do the whole “MAKE IT WORSE” thing.

2) Say goodbye to bathroom shame. Also impossible, I know, but you’re going to have to ACT shameless and let your behavior train your stupid monkey brain. 

“I need to sit by the door.” “Why?” “Because I will shit myself, Karen.”

People are TERRIFIED of poop and mentioning even the possibility of shit getting on something will make them much more accommodating of your condition.

3) Accidents will happen. Period.

Keep an extra set of clothes in your car with a plastic bag for soiled ones

Stock yourself with feminine hygiene pads for leaks

Stock yourself with bathroom wipes

Stock your chaffing treatment of choice

Stock yourself with water. It dehydrates the hell out of you.

Become the patron Saint of preparedness. Have snacks, pens, whatever.

Accidents attack your mental health and can ruin your day. You can mitigate this by having means to clean yourself up and get to a state where you can pretend it never happened.

The last item might seem a little strange, but consider this: a person gets their period early. Who’s their new hero? You. Your condition just saved someone else’s day. How amazing and nice is that? Having something good come from how ill you are is really a beacon of hope when things are at their worst.

4) Adjust your life to maximize your mental health. Autoimmune conditions are subject to massive fluctuations based on mood and other factors. Becoming the happiest bunny in the field won’t make flares go away by any means, but it will lessen them, make them less severe and leave you in a better place to deal with them.

5) Prepare for doctor and specialist visits.

Make a list of all medications, including over the counter and vitamins

Have your regular doctor’s details as well as your pharmacy’s on hand

Make a list of things you want to discuss

Have a record of symptoms and flares ups (more on this later)

Accept that the doctor not having answers right now is just the reality, not the doctor being terrible.

You will cry. Just accept it. It’s overwhelming and terrible and it feels like no one has any answers. You will get emotional. You will forget things. You’ll leave feeling like you wasted your time if you don’t have a list that you run through of everything you want to cover. I have been sick 14 years. I still cry when I see the doctor.

There are not a lot of answers for people with autoimmune conditions. There’s a lot of “We’ll try this and see how it works” there’s a lot of changing your diagnosis. This is normal. This does not mean your doctor is bad. If your doctor is compassionate and listens to you try to stick it out. No one has the answers. Human brains aren’t equipped to handle “We don’t know.” It will be incredibly difficult. Literally have a mantra in your head: “No one has any answers.”

They will change your medications and change your diagnosis and it’s frustrating as hell, but it’s so that you can get better treatment and so that the next person has to suffer less. So the next person CAN have answers. You are a critical data point in making treatment better for everyone. You are important and you are making a difference for others who are suffering. Let those thoughts bolster you through the hard times.

6) Keep a log of your symptoms, how you’re responding to medication and what you’re eating. Pick a time, set an alarm on your phone and then write notes about what you ate and how you felt in the last 24 hours. This is a common theme, but human brains are fucking stupid. If you are having a good day when you see your doctor, you will report that the medicine is more effective and you’ve been healthier and feeling better than you really have been. It’s critical that you have an accurate record of how things affect you.

The secondary benefit of this: every single medical professional suddenly takes you 100% more seriously. Doctors have to spend a lot of time and energy evaluating how accurate patient reporting is and translating that into usable information. If you just have piles of usable information, it’s like CHRISTMAS for them. I was in the emergency room recently and the staff’s eyes literally LIT UP when they saw that I had notes and information on my condition. I have a history of having my symptoms dismissed: not anymore. 

I can literally just walk into my doctor’s office, look and sound completely fine and say, “Hey, this is happening, I think I need a run of [x] medication” and they will just prescribe it because they know that I know my body. (Obviously this doesn’t go for painkillers, but opiates are strictly inadvisable for most chronic conditions anyway)

And most importantly

7) Learn to forgive yourself. It’s impossible to do all of these things all of the time. Especially when you’re first diagnosed. You’ll get into slumps and dwell. You’ll forget your go-bag. You’ll be depressed and not take notes. You’ll have a cold and think it’s not worth it to record how you’re feeling because the cold is ruining it. It’s natural. It’s fine. We all do it.

These are all habits that you have to build and building habits is really difficult. What matters is that you’re trying. What matters is that you know what you have to do. What matters is that you continue to live your life. Your life can’t revolve around your condition or you’ll be miserable. Does your favorite food always cause a flare? It’s okay to say “Fuck it, I want to treat myself” and then suffer later. It’s okay. You’re not a failure. You’re not “making it worse.”

You’re not at fault for your condition. Nothing you did made it happen. You did nothing to deserve it. You shouldn’t have to do all of these things. Doing any of them, trying to do them, already sets you above the average person. You’re doing your best. You’re flourishing despite the hardships, even if you don’t feel like it now.

This list is actionable things. Things you can do to make your life better. The worst part is feeling helpless and you’re not helpless anymore. You can affect your treatment and your fate. You can put yourself back in control.

You can do this. You’re not alone.

You’re always welcome to message me directly about things. I will tell you upfront if I don’t have the spoons, so you never have to worry that you’re “bothering” me or “dragging me down” or “using up all of my energy.”

Additionally, my brother who has UC is available if you ever need to chat with him. He’s @shutupbeard here on tumblr, but we’re both more easily reached on discord - I’ll DM you our IDs.

Feel free to reblog this post, if you think someone needs to read it.

[mushyyroom]

To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before (3/?)

Previous Chapter// Next Chapter

Read on Ao3//Trailer Parody

Word Count:3807

Cyrus was surprised by TJ showing up outside of his last period class, how he knew what it was is still a mystery, and grabbing his hand gleefully. It did not take that long for Cyrus to find out what it would be like when everyone stared at him. It was even more staring and whispering than the morning that Cyrus jumped him, which he didn’t think was possible.

TJ sighed, mouth pulled into an amused smile, “Relax. Stop acting as if I’m a bomb.”

“It’s hard when you just... did that!” Cyrus protested, hands a bit sweaty, “Who just does that?”

“Who just jumps on someone and kisses them?” TJ countered and Cyrus shut his mouth.

Cyrus hasn’t had much experience in the hand holding department. He used to boast about being the first one of his friends to hold someone else’s hand, but that didn’t mean he was actually an expert. It wasn’t helping that nearly the entire student body was watching him fail terribly at the simple act. It had officially spread to everyone.

Out of the corner of his eye, Cyrus could see Denise Ackerman staring at them. Her mouth fell open and her eyebrows raised as if she couldn’t believe her own eyes. Denise was Kip’s best friend. His number one lacky. Cyrus was about to pull away at that look alone when TJ leaned closer to whisper in his ear, pointing at her with their interlocked fingers, “Take a picture, it’d last longer.”

Cyrus felt bad for laughing at that and quickly slapped his free hand over his mouth. TJ let out a laugh too and pulled his hand down, “Stop. It’s okay to laugh, you don’t have to be embarrassed, you have a cute laugh.”

Cyrus just nods and puts his hand down while TJ turns to talk to a someone in the hall, gesturing wildly with his freehand. Cyrus felt normal, which was abnormal. He was holding hands with a boy, his boyfriend. He had a boyfriend he was just casually holding hands with! Well, a fake one but still. Maybe Cyrus was a natural at this whole thing.

But then Cyrus starts to freak out again as TJ’s friend turns to face him, “So you’re Cyrus right? TJ’s new boyfriend?”

“Y-yeah!” Cyrus squeaks out. Damn it Cyrus, Kip probably never lost his cool around TJ’s friends. He cleared his throat and tried again, “Yeah. He’s my boyfriend. The guy I’m dating. Don’t know where I’d be without him haha! Probably falling down a flight of stairs or something since I have two left feet! Or maybe-”

“You’re right, he is kinda funny,” The guy starts laughing and nods at TJ.

TJ gives one last smile before he tugs Cyrus in the direction of Cyrus’ locker. Once they were safely there, without anymore pit stops or too prolonged stares, they let go of eachother. Cyrus nervously fiddled with his lock, tugging it open on the third try. When he turned around, TJ had been standing too close and their heads bumped loudly. TJ rubbed at the stinging spot, “Ow!”

“Why were you standing so close to me?” Cyrus scowled at the pain, eyes watering a bit. He could swear he was seeing stars. Fuckin’ A that hurt a lot.

TJ rolled his eyes, “I was trying to kiss you, duh.”

“What?” Cyrus looked at him incredulously. Why would he try doing that? Was that a thing they were going to have to try to do?

“We’re dating Cyrus,” TJ felt like he was talking to a six year old, “Kissing is kind of a thing couples do.”

Cyrus can’t do that. Not without exploding. He’d never get used to that kind of affection right off the bat, it was too much lying. Cause then he’d not only be lying to everyone around them, but he’d have to start lying to himself. He’d have to tell himself that it didn’t bother him that none of it meant anything, because even if it was all fake the intimacy was real. He wanted to have something like that, but for real.

“We’re going to have to talk about that,” Cyrus put a hand on TJ’s chest, pushing him away a tiny bit, “Come up with some rules.”

“Rules?” TJ snorted.

“Yeah,” Cyrus closes his locker and slips out from the way TJ had boxed him in, “Rules and boundaries and the story. You know?”

TJ laughed as he caught up to him, “Okay, fine. It might be good so you don’t back out on all of this.”

“I wouldn’t do that,” Cyrus waved him off as if the thought hadn’t crossed his mind about 50 times since he agreed to do it, “Who do you take me for?”

“I know you were thinking about it Cyrus,” TJ said like he was sure of it, “I can see you coming up with one hundred and one excuses not to do it already.”

How was he so sure? He was right, but how was he so sure of himself? The confidence on the guy was outstanding.

Cyrus was looking around for a place to talk but all around them there were other students who were whispering behind hands and shifting their eyes between them. They couldn’t talk there, there were too many people around. Too many people that could find out the truth.

He must have been straying pretty far away from the school unconsciously because TJ suddenly tugged on his arm, “Where are we going?”

“The park,” Cyrus’ mouth moved before his brain was able to process what he was saying, “No one from school will be there.”

TJ seemed to accept this explanation and followed him diligently. Cyrus was too busy trying to come up with what he wanted to say to be paying attention to where he was going. His pace slowed does and he was looking down at his feet in a daze, caught up in his thoughts. TJ ended up dragging them the rest of the way there, stopping at the old swing set, “The swings TJ?”

“Yeah,” He let his backpack drop to the ground, “We used to come here all the time together. It seemed appropriate.”

Cyrus was surprised he remembered something from almost four years ago now, but it didn’t stop him from sitting down and dragging his feet. He had pulled out his notebook and a pencil, “Okay. So first I think we should come up with how we got together. If we don’t have matching stories people will be able to tell we’re faking right away.”

“Seems reasonable,” TJ was pumping his legs a little, making sure not to go too high so they could still talk, “What did you have in mind?”

Cyrus seemed to smile at that, the romantic in him was giddy, “How about this. You found me after I crashed my car and comforted me. You decided to wait with me until the tow truck came and you decided to drive me home, you were all nervous. You wrung your hands because you’ve kinda been into me since middle school,” Cyrus clasped his hands together and lowered his voice a ridiculous amount, “Oh Cyrus! How I love thee. And since I was your first kiss you-”

“How do you know if you were my first kiss?” TJ interrupted.

Cyrus continued without paying any attention to his comment, “Since I was your first kiss you’ve always thought there was something special there. You had to take a chance so you did because you’re 95% confidence and 5% hair gel and we started dating ever since.”

“No one is going to believe that,” TJ shook his head, “Especially not Kip.”

“The best lies are the ones closest to the truth, TJ,” Cyrus said in a matter of fact tone, “We did kiss in middle school. It was a first for at least one of us. And you did stop when I got into that accident.”

“No it’s just that I went to see Kip that day,” TJ raised an eyebrow, “Remember?”

“Okay minor detail,” Cyrus waved it off, “I was in your head when you went to go see Kip and when he broke it off you took it as a sign. So then you rushed right over to my house with flowers and asked me out on my front porch.”

“You’ve got the all figured out, don’t you Underdog?”

Cyrus nodded, “It’s the only thing I’m really okay at. But while we're at it, we need to talk about rules. For example, I don’t want you to kiss me anymore.”

TJ let his feet drag against the mulch until he was still, “Trust me, it’s not like I want to either. My head still kinda hurts from earlier, I don’t want to get any more concussions.”

“Very funny. But we should write this all down,” Cyrus started to scribble in his notebook. He neatly writes Contract on the top of the page before skipping down and placing ‘No Kissing’ next to the first bullet point.

TJ tried to look over, nearly falling out of the swing, “What’s the point of writing it?”

“For proof. Just in case we break a rule and one of use tries to claim that it wasn’t on there.”

TJ let out a breathy laugh, “Okay, but I doubt anyone is going to believe we’re a couple if I can’t touch you. Again, kissing is kind of a big couple thing.”

“There are plenty of other ways to show that you care about a person that doesn’t involve PDA,” Cyrus nervously bites the bottom of his lip. PDA would help sell their story faster though, and this thing wasn’t supposed to last too long. No! He couldn’t get distracted.

“Well no one's going to believe that I turned into a saint to date you,” TJ huffed, “You gotta let me do something. How about I put my hand in the back pocket of your jeans?”

Cyrus’ eyebrows scrunched up in concern, “I don’t wear jeans that often. Mostly khakis or corduroys.”

TJ laughed at that. The jean thing was so not the point, “Well do they have back pockets?”

“I think so,” Cyrus turned got up off of the swing and turned his head back as far as he could. He was wearing a pair of his favorite khakis right now. He thinks he saw a pocket, but it was hard to tell and with the notebook and pencil in his hand he didn’t want to fumble to reach and check, “Right?”

“Yeah,” TJ shook his head, “They do. So I can do that, strictly as a business thing.”

Cyrus nods and sits back down to write it in the notebook ‘TJ can put his hand in Cyrus’ back pocket’. “But no kissing.”

“Let me remind you that you started that whole thing.”

“I know, I just wish that I could do that for real, you know?” Cyrus sighs and halts his writing, “I’ve never done anything like that before, it’s probably why I banged out heads together. Sorry about that. I just thought that the first time I’d get to do all this stuff I’d actually be dating someone who liked me. And who I liked just as much back. This situation isn’t exactly ideal for all these firsts.”

TJ seemed to take a moment to process all of it, nodding slowly, “Okay. So we can save some things for you to do. For when this is all real.”

“Really?”

“Of course. I don’t want to steal all of your firsts,” TJ’s laugh was light and he gave Cyrus a sly look, “I already have your first kiss.”

Cyrus could tell that TJ was trying to lighten the mood. He was trying to be nice and considerate. Go figure.

“So that also means that I won’t pay for anything,” TJ shrugged and started swinging again, the creaks from the old chains made him have to talk a bit louder, “Someone who really likes you can do that.”

“I was going to pay for my own stuff anyways,” Cyrus frowned at that, “I wasn’t expecting anything from you.”

TJ didn’t pay any mind to it, “I won’t walk you to class, or buy you flowers.”

“I get it TJ,” Cyrus replied curtly, “Was there anything the you and Kip did that was special?”

TJ came to an abrupt halt, staring down at his hands, “Notes.”

“Notes?”

“Yeah,” TJ shook his head in an annoyed manner, “He made me write him all these notes. I don’t understand why, my handwriting isn't  the best and it’s not like we didn’t text each other.”

But Cyrus could understand why Kip would want notes. They were sweet because it did require some sort of effort to write them. And it was something he could just stare at and hold and keep close to his chest. Something he could re-read on a bad day just as a pick me up kind of thing. It was hard cold proof that TJ cared about him, loved him.

“I’ll write you one everyday,” TJ said suddenly, a confident and bright smile on his face, “It’ll drive him crazy.”

Cyrus just nods and writes it down, ‘TJ will write Cyrus a note (everyday?)’

“Also write down that you have to come to some parties with me,” TJ adds, pointing down at the notebook, “And no weird Sci-fi movies unless it’s something cool like Star Wars.”

“I’m offended by that nerd stereotype,” Cyrus glared up at him, “I don’t watch only Sci-fi movies.”

TJ clicks his tongue, “Oh yeah I forgot. You like to watch those lizard documentaries right? Well none of those either, unless you want me to fall asleep on you.”

Cyrus was honestly too shocked that TJ remembered that detail about him to really care. He’d probably make TJ watch one anyways, and then maybe he’d see how amazing they were.

Suddenly TJ is grabbing the pencil and notebook from his hands, writing down ‘Cyrus will make a picture of TJ his phone background. Cyrus snatched it back, “You too!” He pulled his phone out quickly to try and catch TJ off guard, “Say cheese!”

He still looks unfairly handsome in the picture. A nice and light smile on his lips and his eyes filled with amusement. The higher powers were really unfair sometimes.

“Your turn,” TJ points his camera in Cyrus’ direction and snaps a quick photo. He sits there for a moment, looking it over and fiddling with his phone to set it as his wallpaper, “Cute.”

Cyrus tried not to blush, but he know he lost that battle when the heat hit his cheeks. Out of all the damn things that happened, this was the thing that made him blush the most? “Okay, last rule. We can tell absolutely no one about this. No one. If Buffy or Andi found out what I was doing, they’d be so mad at me.”

“First rule of fight club.”

Cyrus just nodded like he understood the reference. He’d have to google it later. He sighed, “What about an end date.”

“What?”

“Like a deadline. How long are we going to do this for? A week? Month?”

“Why don’t we just see where it goes?” TJ shrugs like it’s no big deal.

Cyrus started to stumble over his words, “But- If we don’t have something set- I just feel like-”

TJ laughs and cuts him off, grabbing the chains attached to Cyrus’ swing, “Cyrus, you have to just relax. Not everything has to be planned down to a T. Go with the flow.”

“Advice from the great TJ Kippen.”

“I’ll be here all week,” TJ jokes back, “It’ll be fine.”

Cyrus nods a bit before stopping himself, “Okay but we have to be over by Christmas. Too many relatives come around and I hate lying to all of them.”

“We’ll definitely have no problem by then,” TJ said confidently. Like he always does.

They both sign on the lines that Cyrus drew, sealing the contract. There was no going back now.

“Well,” Cyrus hopped off the swing, “I should get going.”

TJ agreed and started walking back towards the school, confused when Cyrus started walking in the opposite direction, “Where are you going?”

“Home?” Cyrus perked up, confused. He just wanted to pull out his earbuds and walk home in peace.

TJ tilted his head, “You’re walking?”

“Yeah, my car remember?” Cyrus raised an inquisitive eyebrow, “I’ve been walking everywhere. It’s actually been quite a good work out. Buffy is not happy about the fact that we have to walk to school now though.”

TJ chuckled, “Well I could give you a ride home if you need.”

“No thanks,” Cyrus declined politely, “There is no way that I’m ever going to get into that death trap of a car you have. All of my friends and I agreed that we would never buy a car that doesn’t have at least seven safety features.”

“Suit yourself,” TJ shrugged and walked off.

Cyrus plugged his earbuds in and started the rest of his walk home. He was almost out of the park until he hit the entrance by the small pond. Jonah. Jonah was there playing frisbee with some person he couldn’t remember the name of. It seemed like Jonah noticed him too because he started to wave Cyrus over.

“Hey Cy-guy! What are you up to?”

“Nothing much!” Cyrus smiled back, “Guess what? TJ and I aren’t broken up. It was a just big misunderstanding.”

Jonah’s face scrunched up in thought for a split second, concern in his eyes. But it disappeared just as quickly as it had appeared, replaced with the signature Jonah Beck smile, “That’s great news! I’m happy for you. If he ever does anything though, you can always count on me to rough him up.”

“I don’t think that will be necessary,” Cyrus nervously laughed, “But thanks for the thought.”

Jonah shrugged, “It was kind of an empty threat anyways, I’m not sure how long I’d last in a fight. I better get back to practice though, talk later?”

“Yeah!” Cyrus watched as Jonah waved and skipped back over to the guy he had been throwing with. Now that Jonah knew for a fact that Cyrus wasn’t in love with him and that he was with TJ now, maybe things would go back to normal. Like the stupid letter never happened.

He was so happy that the plan was working that he couldn’t stop smiling all night. And he must have still been smiling the next morning too because Buffy nugged him on the walk to school, “What’s with the weird smile Cyrus?”

“Oh nothing,” Cyrus mumbled before clapping his hands together, “Just thinking about stuff.”

Buffy scrunched her nose up, her voice laced with thinly veiled disgust, “I don’t wanna know.”

Which was good, because he wasn’t telling. The weather was cold, as is it normally is in the middle of fall. Cyrus was wrapped up in a navy cable knit sweater and his dark gray peacoat. He had accidentally forgot his gloves but he had a nice, puffy white knit scarf and his trusty black beanie on to make up for the loss. It was weather like this that made him wish that he liked driving. He knew Buffy wasn’t too pleased to be waddling around in fall layers either, but she complained less once she saw exactly how distressed Cyrus seemed.

“Cyrus,” Buffy whispered suddenly, pulling him out of his thoughts, “Don’t make it obvious, but look. Is that car following us?”

He had to resist the urge to panic and whip his head around. He slowly looked, yes that van was slowly creeping on them. Should he run? Did they have time to run? Buffy probably could escape but what could he do? He little legs were basically useless!

He didn’t have time to figure it out because the car pulled up next to them and the window rolled down. Cyrus squeezed his eyes shut and blocked his face with his hands, squeaking out, “Please I have nothing valuable don’t kidnap me!”

“No promises Underdog, you’re looking pretty adorable in that scarf,” He cracked an eye open and saw TJ behind the wheel. Of a minivan. The definition of a soccer mom car. The two on the sidewalk must have been staring for a second too long because he rolled his eyes and pointed to the back door, “Are you guys getting in or?”

“What are you driving?” Buffy asked, laughing in shock as she climbed in to the back, motioning for Cyrus to take the front.

“A mini-van Buffy,” TJ gave her a pointed look in the mirror, smirking, “You’ve never heard of one?”

“Of course I have,” Buffy buckled in, “I just wasn’t aware that you knew how to drive something other than that accident on wheels.”

Once Cyrus was in the car, the door slamming, TJ smiled, “Good morning.”

“Good morning to you too,” Cyrus said, unsure of what to say, “Thanks for driving us.”

TJ shrugged, putting the car back into drive, “What kind of boyfriend would I be if I let you walk all the way in the cold.”

“So this is really for real?” Buffy leaned forward, poking her head between the two seats, “For some reason this all still feels like a freakish dream. Or a nightmare, I’m trying to pick between the two.”

“I thought we were friends Buffy,” TJ offered an exaggerated pout, “What happened?”

Buffy huffed, “Watch it Kippen. I will snap your neck if Cyrus so much as frowns.”

“Won’t happen Driscoll,” TJ said, easily taking one of Cyrus’ hands off of the middle consol, lacing their fingers together slowly for show, “I am the perfect boyfriend.”

Buffy let out a loud snort, “Ha! Perfect my ass TJ!”

“You’re right,” TJ said, Buffy slightly flinching at the words, “Cyrus is the perfect boyfriend. Aren’t you muffin?”

Cyrus pulled their hands into his lap, tempted to swipe his hand away, “I’m not getting involved this time.”

“But thanks,” Buffy said reluctantly, “For the ride.”

“It’s no problem,” TJ lets a small smile slip out.

Cyrus could live like this. Maybe. He still felt bad about lying to his best friends, but this. This felt normal. It felt nostalgic. It felt right. They haven’t all hung out in so long, and he missed it. Even if Buffy and TJ argued a lot. It didn’t stop his stomach from dropping once he realize that it would all be gone within the next month. Would he and TJ still even be friends after all of this? Or would it all go back? Cyrus hoped that they would still talk. He didn’t realize how much he missed it until they started again.

Thanks so much for reading! If you want to be on the tag list lemme know! Im also taking prompts in between these chapters to clear my head when i need so feel free to send those in too!

Thank you for all your kind comments! They really made my day reading themmmmmmmm

And Thanks so much for supporting and wanting to be alerted!!!

@evaeselgreatest @king-tyrus @the-greatt-perhaps

[directoravasharpe]

can u like bullet fic drunk sara and ava being all soft and comforting i really loved the concept

okay i am running with the the ‘six’ drink sara idea i first wrote about here

but it’s not six it’s like 12 because it’s sara not amy santiago

okay. set the scene. it’s the legends Drinking night. one night a month where they just all get utterly smashed. gideon refuses to deal with hangovers more often than that. if they get a hangover any other day of the month then she leaves them to Suffer.

sara takes a couple of months after getting back together before she invites ava because she is Not Scaring Her Off partly she’s worried about what she’s gonna be like partly she’s worried about what the legends are gonna be like

but at like three months they’ve slept over a million times they’re solid and so sara invites her.

sara had already had like two drinks during the day so when the evening starts she’s strictly already at

Two Drink Sara

aka normal sara (she’s an alcoholic is legends ever goign to talk about that i’m pretty sure she’s an alcoholic like she has a genetic predisposition to that anyway) pretty chill. maybe slightly more happy than usual but that might just be because ava has gotten there

Three Drink Sara

getting a little more bubbly. teasing ava a bit more, about like, literally anything, because she’s Comfortable. squishing in closer than is necessary, because ava is nice and warm and cuddly

Four Drink Sara

suddenly she is so touchy feely. if she was cuddly before, now she’s on another plane. not overtly sexual, just wrapping her arms around ava and pulling her in literally as close as possible. cheek kisses. hands everywhere, touching ava because she Can. ava trying to look disapproving at the PDA but she’s two drinks in and she’s just blushing slightly but not stopping sara because sara’s adorable

Five Drink Sara

sara gets five drinks in and suddenly its like Hello It Is Sex Time. the touching like, immediately crosses a line. sara’s hands are Under Ava’s shirt and it’s not strictly visible to anyone else because of how close they are but it’s still like. a thing. ava squirming but still not really pushing her away. sara trying to get into ava’s lap. full on makeouts that the legends only notice because of how long they’re lasting. quick kisses aren’t enough to distract them all from their various drinks/conversations, but sara trying to get ava’s clothes off is like, just about enough

Six, seven, eight

while trying to get ava’s clothes off, sara is, somehow, still drinking, and ava, still only like two drinks in is like. babe. sara. maybe you should stop drinking.

sara keeps drinking. five drinks was kinda peak horny and as she gets more drunk she’s still trying but it’s getting like, less and less effective. like eventually if ava kisses her it pretty much stops her from doing anything else, so she’s not trying to literally fuck ava right in the kitchen because she can’t concentrate on anything else

ava just keeps being sweet but not letting sara push things too far because lbr it’s real hard to resist sara lance when she’s trying to jump you but she restrains herself because Sara is Very Drunk and Ava is a Good Girlfriend

at eight drinks, she gets like... slightly mean? not horribly so, just, at that point, she has basically no filter. she just about knows that ava has stopped them from having sex but isn’t like 100% sure why so is just like. why are you boring. why are you like this.

the legends reassure ava that she always gets mean right about now, and that it’s nothing to worry about. that what she should be worrying about is....

nine, ten

sad sara. after getting mean sara gets sad because like she’s got that cool gives no shit thing going on but inside she’s a freaking softy and she has so much trauma and has done so many terrible things and that drunk, with literally no memory filter, no defense mechanisms up, literally everything is coming back to her, and she’s just breaking down, still drinking

ava is physically trying to stop her drinking at this point. the legends are kinda watching like. shit. she doesn’t usually get this far.

ava doesn’t know what to do with that information because it makes it sound like sara is only like this because of her, and she doesn’t know how to interpret that. like sara felt comfortable enough to go this far but also it’s heartbreaking and eventually all the other legends kinda.... disappear

eleven, twelve

sara downs the last two while ava has turned away. she’s gone right through practically unconscious and is back to trying to piss ava off. she’s still sad, though, and being more conscious makes things worse, so she’s just leaning into ava, face on her shoulder.

ava’s just making soothing sounds and comforting her because like, she’s stone cold sober at this point, and sara’s teasing her/telling her off for that because You’re Supposed to Get Drunk, Ava, That’s The Whole Point and ava is like i would rather be looking after you and sara is all mumbly and still kinda sad and just like. that’s sappy. you’re sappy. i like you.

and ava thinks she’s getting a bit better but then she’s crying again and ava tries to get her to stand up but sara’s legs aren’t working or she’s not letting them work. ava sits back down, pulls a tissue out of her pocket, goes to give it to sara and then is just like fuck it i’ll do it myself, so she’s cleaning up the tears and is just like.

sara. are you okay. and sara is shaking her head and she can’t even look at ava, just goes back in for a hug, obviously needing the touch and the support and they just stay like that for a bit until sara pulls back, looks at ava, is like, suddenly almost completely lucid: i love you. ava says it back, kisses her, and then it’s like the drunkenness hit’s sara all of a sudden again because she’s flopping against ava and ava is like? bed?

and sara just sleepily nods like yes please bed. can’t walk though. legs not working. ava just rolls her eyes because like they probably are working but sara always gets what she wants and in any case she only has to get as far as the portal so Sara gets to be carried for all of five seconds and honestly like sara is tiny but she’s also 95% muscle and that shit is heavy so even Ava ‘giant biceps’ Sharpe can’t get her that far.

sara ends up sat on the bed while ava literally undresses her and she manages one last sleepy innuendo and gets one more eyeroll from ava. she puts on a shirt that is definitely a sleep shirt ava had left for herself, but ava’s not going to complain because seeing sara in her clothes makes her heart grow about ten sizes. she just finds the biggest shirt sara has in her closet and puts that on while sara sits on the end of the bed, practically dozing off.

ava manoeuvres her under the covers like: you couldn’t even do that yourself? sara, sobering up slightly is just like, nope, you have to do everything for me it’s in the girlfriend contract.

ava does the temple kiss and then gideon turns out the lights.

bonus:

hangover sara.

she’s good at not throwing up. as long as she is in the med bay a maximum of five minutes after she wakes up, she’s usually fine. ava wanders over with her. sara gets whatever IV gideon is giving her and is like. so. what embarrassing things did i do last night.

ava, who is a saint, and who isn’t going to embarrass sara over things she said when vulnerable, doesn’t say anything. luckily, gideon has no such qualms and relays everything is exquisite detail.

sara, once she’s heard everything: man, i can’t believe you didn’t let us fuck in front of my crew you’re such a spoilsport.

ava, chucking something at sara’s head: see if i carry u to bed next time you idiot

sara: you’re always gonna bc you’re Soft

Ava:.... maybe

[havekiddoswilltravel]

Cuba Travel Tips

Havana, Cuba trip report and pro tips for a safe, personalized family travel adventure to Cuba.

Tips for family travel to Cuba - A guide to exploring Cuba with kids, friends, family or multigenerational groups.

Did you know that you can in fact still travel to Cuba independently?

Updated: July 2019 with new Cuban travel rules.

We cruised prior to the US restrictions. You can however, still enjoy these Cuban tours by traveling by air to Cuba. Keep reading for more details.

Our family of six enjoyed a 5 night Key West and Cuba overnight cruise aboard Royal Caribbean’s Majesty of the Seas in December 2018 prior to the cruise ship restrictions. We traveled with four kids ages 13, 10, 7 and 5 and thus felt that a cruise was a comfortable way for us to explore Havana. We’re hooked and already planning a return land trip in order to enjoy more of the island. The Cuban people were gracious, funny and talented. Our guide Dayami is fluent in both English and Spanish and a breath of information about the history, culture, art, music, architecture and food of the island. 

2018 Cuban travel update: The U.S. announced new travel rules for Cuba. Americans can no longer travel to the island under the People to People category as an individual and you're unable to patronized any military - owned business. 

Legal travel to Cuba is still possible under the Support For The Cuban People category and my recommended tours can assist you in planning a safe, educational and cost effective trip to the island. 

Have Kiddos Will Travel Cuba Tours offer: A one of a kind safe, private tour option for those wanting to visit Cuba and experience it like a local.

What we did in Havana:

Dayami picked us up at 9:00 am at the Saint Francis of Assisi Square

(the plaza right across from the cruise ship terminal in Old Havana).

We started with a guided walking tour in Old Havana (about 2 hours) which included:

-       All four main squares

-       Some of Hemingway’s favorite places in the city

-       Handcrafted perfume shop - the perfume is inexpensive and comes in beautiful hand made pottery. 

-       Free entrance museums - our kids loved these museums. We had to drag our 10 year old son out of the art museum. 

-       Cigar/coffee/rum shopping - Dayami was an angel and sat with our kids at a nearby table while my husband and I enjoyed this amazing tasting. I can’t recommend it enough. There was a live band playing during our tasting. In fact, music and dancing was everywhere in Havana. Buy Cuban coffee (I regret not buying more as gifts). Dayami is incredibly knowledgeable about Cuban rum and cigars. We bought two boxes (4 bottles total) of Havana Club 3 year white and 7 year dark rum for approximately 20 CUC. We also brought back 25 (fiftieth anniversary) Cuban Cohiba cigars. We bought handmade individual cigar boxes for the ones that we gave as gifts. 

We did a coffee-rum-cigar tasting/sampling. This service (about 1 hour) is provided by a Habanos sommelier Cuban cigar expert). I highly recommend this tour option. We learned so much and it added to our overall experience in Havana.

After the walking tour, Dayami had a air conditioned car with ready to drive us to the main places of interest in the city. I loved that she was flexible and worked with our children. We took extra breaks for water, snacks and to use clean bathrooms. She knew all of the best places to use the facilities and though I was prepared with my own toilet paper, we ended up never needing it. 

Our family’s personalized itinerary:

-       Ride along the Malecon (sea wall drive)

-       Colon Cemetery (World Heritage Site)

-       Callejón de Hamel (rumba performances/Afro-Cuban religion/art scene)

-       Central Park

-       Capitol building

-       National Hotel

-       San Jose Handicraft market

-       Fusterlandia community/art project

-       Revolution Square

-       Rainforest of Havana (National Park)

-       Bay fortresses and the Christ of Havana (viewpoint)

Dayami made a reservation for us a privately owned restaurant and we enjoyed it. We were lol a bit when we arrived because we literally walked behind a normal looking home in Havana and entered a massive outdoor restaurant which was packed with people and even had a live band. Our total lunch cost was 74 CUC which included drinks, 3 orders of chicken and all you can eat white rice and beans. 

The whole tour was from 9:00 am to 5:00 pm, take into consideration that lunch may took over an 1 hour.

What to buy in Cuba:

- While cigars and rum are the main things that people buy when in Cuba, we also bought an amazing art piece (beware that customs will attempt to charge you art fee if you travel back with it in an art tube), engraved leather baseballs, Cuban key chains that I then turned into Cuban Christmas ornaments and a small piece of wood art. We ran out of time to stop by Clandestina, but they do have an online shop that you will not want to miss.

Pro - tips: - Everyone (including children) will need a passport book (not a passport card) that is valid for at least 6 months after your trip. Two pages are required for entry - exit stamps. 

- Each traveler will need a Cuban Visa if you're a US citizen (please research Visa laws for other countries) which cost $75.00 per person. Take your time completing this simple form, as mistakes are not accepted and you will have to buy another one.

-   U.S. credit and debit cards generally do not work in Cuba. Bring cash to cover your stay. The Cuban government requires that travelers declare cash amounts over 5,000 USD. Travelers should note that the Government of Cuba charges a 10 percent fee for all U.S. dollar cash conversions; this does not apply to electronic transactions or cash conversions in other currencies. - US dollar and credit cards are not accepted in Cuba. Do your research regarding how much money you will need and plan accordingly.  I recommend changing money into Cuban Convertible Pesos (CUC) before meeting your guide (for lunch, souvenirs, rum, the sampling, etc.). It is recommended that you change US currency to Euros prior to your trip (AAA will do this without an additional conversion fee for members) and then change euros to CUCs upon arrival. At the time of our visit   The official exchange rate (at the time of our trip in 2018) is 0.87 for every 1 USD (due to the 13 percent US dollar fee). The exchange rate for the euro at the time our trip was 1.15.

-  The export of Cuban convertible pesos (CUC) is strictly prohibited, regardless of the amount. When departing Cuba, U.S. travelers are advised to exchange Cuban convertible pesos (CUC) back to US Dollars well before reaching airport security checkpoints to avoid potential confiscation of the CUC. For other currencies, travelers may export up to the equivalent of 5,000 USD. Anyone wishing to export more than this amount must demonstrate evidence that the currency was acquired legitimately from a Cuban bank. - Dayami was very helpful in regards to helping us figure out how much cash we would need for all of our tours, meals, and shopping.

Getting there:

- You can fly to Havana depending on your group size and family needs. We’ve had family members fly and we did an overnight Havana cruise with Royal Caribbean as we were traveling with small children and wanted access to the comforts of the cruise line. Cruising if no longer an option as of June 2019.

Where to stay:

- If you’re flying, I highly recommend Casa Habana for a one of a kind, local Cuban experience. 

What to pack:

- Bring sunblock, hats, and sun glasses. I packed a back pack with safe drinking water, snacks and treats for our kids.- Wear comfortable walking shoes. Havana streets are beautiful, but the cobblestone is hard on your feet. 

What NOT to do:

- Leave your jewelry and fancy items at home. 

- Don't take pictures of Cuban police or military.

- Keep your strong tourist opinions about Fidel, the Castro family, the Revolution or communism to yourself. Avoid discussing politics (history discussions are okay) and you're good.

- There are two currencies in Cuba. The first is the Cuban Convertible Peso CUC  (which tourists use) and is worth 26 Cuban Pesos CUP. Count your change and keep your street smarts about you.

- Don't expect to have access to the many comforts of home. There is almost no access to many of the consumer goods that are common for us in the United States. So, make sure to bring that which you can't live without. If you wan't toothpaste, a toothbrush, toilet paper, hand disinfectant, mints or snacks, make sure to bring them with you. 

- Print out all of your relevant travel documents prior to your trip. I know, we’re digital people but access to technology in Cuba is pretty much nada. If you think you’ll need it, print it at home. 

- We’re big foodies and thus find it crucial to discuss Cuban food in Havana versus Cuban food in the United States and other parts of the world. Due to trade restrictions and general lack of access to ingredients that we take for granted, (our guide Dayami did a great job explaining the Cuban rations to our kids) we found the food to be good enough, but not something to write home about. The saving grace was that our kids love white rice and beans and literally were “starving” from all of the walking. They ate their food and loved it, with no complaints. Pro tip: if you’re traveling to Cuba, pack some salt and hot sauce. You’ll thank me. 

- Book your Cuba tours before you travel. The internet is hard to come by in Cuba and thus, don’t expect to be able to research or use the internet to communicate with tour guides while on the island. We arrived via a cruise ship, and I had all of my confirmation information from Dayami printed and I had confirmed pick up times and location with her while we were in Key West and still had internet service. 

By booking a trusted private tour, you will save hundreds of US dollars on your excursion time while on the island. Our tours are priced per car, not per person for a group of four and can be coordinated to accommodate larger family - group sizes.

- Lastly, let’s talk about safety. We’re a family of avid travelers. Our kids have had passports since they were newborns and we travel extensively throughout the United States and abroad. This cruise to Cuba was our third cruise in 2018 alone and all six of us are Diamond Crown and Anchor with Royal Caribbean International. Even with all of the stamps in our passports, I was perplexed by how safe we felt in Havana. Despite what our history classes and news tell us about communism and Cuba, we felt safer in Cuba than any other place that we’ve traveled to. Use common sense and respect the local culture and you’ll have a blast. 

Havana, Cuba - YouTube

https://havekiddoswilltravel.net/cuba-tours

Check out the link above for a full list of tour options and contact Dayami Interian dayainte@gmail.com to discuss further planning. Your won’t be disappointed!

About Ruth: I’m a wife and mami of 4 active and globe-trotting kiddos. I’ve always loved a good adventure and truly believe that it’s possible to travel with kids. Join me, as I share our adventures and inspire you to get out of the house with your kiddos. Whether you’re planning a family vacation, a road trip or a trip of a lifetime to an exotic destination, I’ll share insights, trip reports and information that will inspire you. Check back often to stay up to date on things to do with kids at your next travel destination.

family travel - adventure - explore - Travel with Kids

[noodleswithsoba-blog]

In the Shadow Chapter Two. I Am the Modren Man.

I sighed and pulled out the White Cards. Cards Mom made for me when I was little, big declarations, rants, emotional things. The red ones went in the box and the standards came with me. I walked as if death was ahead of me. Marching towards the outside world again. Marching back out with Him getting in the car. I got into the car and it wasn't fancy at all, a lower-class car just to not flex our status. He drove thickly, hands bunched, gigantic frame hunkered down like a gargoyle.

Silence, intense silence. Streetlights guiding the way and the car putting along, He tapped the wheel calmly. I zipped my jacket all the way up over my mouth, not talking. The car slowed before a fancy restaurant.

"Son, what you do here determines your future, be a gentleman and try not to crack under the pressure. It'll be okay," he tried to assure me. The restaurant was one of those with a three-month long waitlist, but I guess being the number two has its perks… I drifted in and flicked up my introduction card, I waited for my fiance. Standing at her chair.

"Oh goodness! Sorry I'm late!" a voice exclaimed, making me turn in the fancy restaurant to see a girl in a nice white dress, flared out like a skirt and… and… oh god, am… am I blushing?! I started forward, pulling her chair out for her. Is this her? Her dark hair looked so soft, and… and her eyes seemed to- just- wow~ I hurriedly sat down, blushing and unzipping my coat, taking it off and shivering as the air hit my skin. This wasn't normal. Normally I'd NEVER take my coats off or sweaters or anything.

"You… you look…" I started, flipping through my white cards, Mom HAD to have put one to describe how KNOCKOUT GORGEOUS this girl was. Flicking and yanking one out like a tooth, red-faced and scarred with chalky burns.

She looked, "Oh! That's a relief… honestly I thought this was a little much…" she admitted, her cheeks pinking and handing the card back. Watching her being nervous made me feel a little better.

"It's… It's not…" I muttered. I looked at the card.

"You look beautiful."

'Thank god for my mom… I owe her SO many hugs!' The girl, presumably Yaoyorozu, blinked and smiled.

"I'm glad you like it, honestly when the number two hero reached out to my parents about this they practically pounced, you're my… second date. My first one was with this boy that yelled a lot and… punched himself in the face…" she giggled a little.

I flicked another card her way.

"Sounds festive…"

She laughed. Mom was a little snarky in the writing's tone in a lot of her stuff, mostly when I'd visit we'd just laugh at her increasingly snarky cards. I mostly pointed at what I wanted, It was mostly meat and stuff like that.

"So… if you can talk, why do you need cards? It's just us, so don't be so shy…" she sighed, "Oh wait, I'm so sorry for not introducing myself, I'm Momo Yaoyorozu,"

"Koyurei… that's my designation…" I stated quietly, almost as if I had to measure my words. Momo tilted her head to the side.

"Designation?" she asked.

"Indeed… It is my name, my assignment. It contains kanji for ghosts and ice… Fitting considering my background and power…" I sighed, "But… if you require me to converse with you, I can bear that burden,"

Momo looked a little shocked, and I looked away, "I don't want it to be a burden to you, so… if you need me to be silent, that's fine… I'm used to it," I looked away and took a sip of my drink, the coolness making me colder.

"Are you alright, Koyurei?" she asked.

"In terms of mentally? I'm shot. In terms of physicality, I'm fine…" I felt a weight on my hand and a soft pressure there. My heart beat faster, the soft weight tracing the ice burn scars there. 'I just met her! And He's expecting me to… to marry her? To consummate the union and produce an heir when I can barely string together a sentence without crying?' I thought.

The food came and I flicked a card up, Momo looked at the smooth robotic motion oddly. All of my movements were delicate. We ate and I couldn't help but see Momo savor it, her eyes shining, a cute smile on her face, her hair swishing slightly and her silver eyes locked with my own. She giggled, and I didn't break eye contact. My heart was beating so fast, my IBM brain was going ninety-nine miles from a parsec just trying to equate the response. She was so pretty… was she wearing makeup? No, she wasn't. Surely not.

"You're staring." she said.

"A-am I? F-forgive me." I mumbled, "I- tend to because- I have little to look at that's… that's like… you," I was blushing, 'Dammit! Now she thinks I'm weird! Goodbye, Future! Oh goodbye, Sweet Future! How I will miss thee!'

"What do you mean?" she asked. Her lips down turned into a slight frown. Worry creased her perfect face, and I took a deep breath, closing my eyes, "I… I think you're… beautiful! G-gorgeous even!" I blurted.

"I… I know I'm far from a perfect man… I know I'm nowhere near capable enough… but…" it cut me off by the check. I put the money down, "I insist on paying. I saved up enough from dodging the Balrog during training…" I mumbled, shutting down and flicking to a white card.

She put her hand on mine, "No. I'll pay. Don't worry, that should be used towards what makes you happy, right?" Momo was such a saint.

I didn't want her to go. I didn't want to go. As silent as I was. I wanted to stay. Did I have a card for that?! Did I… I exposed my arm. Her gentle, firm hands held my arm up, studying it closer. I yanked it out of her grip and put on my coat.

"These don't look like Dry Ice burns…" she said.

*Fwip.*

"Don't speak of them."

"Why not?" she asked.

"Not good, not good at all."

Momo sighed, "Listen, whatever you have to tell me, you can tell me, I won't tell another soul, I promise,"

"Prove it."

Momo pouted and looked kinda cute, "Listen, if I tell you something about me, you tell me something about you," she stated, "That way we have nothing to hide, let's go out and just walk around and talk, okay?"

I nodded and heeled her. It was a beautiful summer's night, and Momo stuck close to my side, my cold keeping the mugginess at bay. The way she looked at me was so new. A girl never looked at me like she did. Or like Mina did. It felt nice. She smiled and looped her arm through one of mine, "My parents threw me at every boy, like… 'Take her! Take her! We don't want her!' It was dumb. It was asinine and cruel… what about yours?" she asked.

"My father burned me, told me I was worthless over and over, and how I'd die alone. I found that my ice grows stronger with the bitter pills he made me swallow. I became a ghost. Finding solace alone rather than with others," I described, smiling calmly.

"Your mother?" she wondered, "If you don't want to speak about her that's okay," she said. I smiled and sat down, bringing her down with me. She sat next to me and I smiled.

"My mother, as flawed as she is, showed me love. My mother showed me what it means to truly sacrifice everything. She harmed my brother, and harmed me by extension, but I don't blame her. I just, just want to be happy," I found ice crystals running down my face from my eyes.

They sparkled down into my lap, "I want my family back, the way it was before all hell broke loose! I just… just wanna be happy!" I exclaimed. I saw an azure and purple light shine from her hand as she wiped my tears with a small handkerchief.

"Are you happy right now?" she asked, "Don't cry," she muttered, her tone lowering to a sympathetic murmur. I grinned a little.

"Thank you for your handkerchief, and for not overstepping, I am grateful," I stated. Momo grinned and pressed a small sheet of paper into my hand. I looked down at it and she grinned. Then, I felt a slight weight on my cheek. A soft something touched it and she pulled back.

"You're welcome, Koyurei," she said. I saw His dowdy car and the slick limousine, I opened the door for her and she got in, He honked at me to hurry it up, but when I got in the car, he looked happy. It was odd.

"I knew you two were compatible. Now, to find your brother a suitable mate, what do you think?" He glanced at me as I touched the cheek Momo kissed, "Already smitten I see, well then that's good!" He was… smiling? What went wrong? Was he sick? Did I do something wrong by letting Momo in? Was I doing something he liked? He saw the handkerchief.

"And a gift! She's reciprocating, that's even better!" he exclaimed, "You're a loyal son of mine! Taking what you want and giving little!" I felt my heart drop to my stomach, no. I wasn't like him. I wasn't like him at all. It made me think. What if I turn out like him? What if I turn out to be a shameless monster? What if I hurt her? What if I hurt our children? Frost formed on my window, my panic making my quirk go into a defensive mode.

I froze things when I was scared, multiple times I tried that on Him. I couldn't stop him. I couldn't stop anything. He continued to drive, even looking a lot less threatening. What was he going to do? What was his game?

"Even if you don't have fire, I still believe you can surpass All Might. Your ice is stronger than your other siblings, and even your mother. I've named it something more appropriate to your interest in Norse Mythology," He announced, his eyes looking softer.

"It was your sister that introduced you, and I asked her what Rune I could name your quirk after," he continued, sliding a piece of paper my way across the dash. I picked it up and saw the rune Isa, or Ice.

"See? Nice, right?" He asked, "Don't worry, I know a lot more than you think,"

'That only makes me worry more, you Balrog.' I thought. I felt the car slow down, and He got out first, I followed soon after, making my steps slow and deliberately that way so I would have time to consider that maybe I should deny my happiness once more.

I could never see Mom, or even send a letter, I couldn't play my games or watch a movie, my life was strictly vicariously lived through my father. He lived through me. I was just an extension. Half of him writhed in me like Fenrir, begging and baying to be let loose at Ragnarok, and I feared it. My mother probably misses me. Fuyumi always ends up crying after a visit, hugging me and telling me over and over that she wished that she could take me to see her. To see our mother and let her questions be answered.

She always asked if I was happy. She always asked if I was doing well. I took off my coat, letting my scars breathe, taking off my shirt and picking up the only photo I had of her, I smiled and clenched it, like I was hugging her.

"I am happy." I confirmed, "I'm happy, Mom,"

It all started with an arranged date, I could only hope she felt the same about me. I could only hope that my one allowed happiness stayed with me. I got under the covers and laid my head down on my pillow.

I felt a smile stretch on my face.

[boldmistakes]

How to be Family Friendly in the Modern World (seblaine, 1/1)

summary: A far-from-exhaustive selection of text exchanges and acknowledged phone calls between Blaine Anderson and Sebastian Smythe. Or, alternatively: "You used to text Sebastian all the time! You would call him, even!" the fic. [~4.5k] [A03] warnings: brief mention of Finn, but not in a grief context notes: happy seblaine anniversary! here’s to six fabulous years with you wonderful people! it’s before midnight somewhere, right?

i.

--

SEBASTIAN [21:12]: Hey

SEBASTIAN [21:12]: Missing Dalton coffee yet?

BLAINE [22:02]: Always!

SEBASTIAN [22:03]: Then you should drop by again. We can grab a few cups, I can show you around, you can see how things have changed …

BLAINE [22:47]: Dalton can’t have changed that much in a few months.

SEBASTIAN [22:48]: Maybe not. But they did give me your old room. You can see what I’ve done with the place.

BLAINE [23:04]: Significantly altering the Dalton dormitories is against Rule 3, subsection 12, point 2 of the Dalton Handbook.

SEBASTIAN [23:04]: Shit haha, did you memorize that?

SEBASTIAN [23:04]: I didn’t even realize there was a handbook

SEBASTIAN [23:05]: So there’s new things to see. I promise. Like I got a bigger bed. Six plus privilege.

SEBASTIAN [23:05]: You know what they say about tall guys ;)

BLAINE [23:10]: They have trouble fitting into short beds?

Keep reading on A03

BLAINE [23:11]: Anyways, the trek out to Dalton is kind of a long one. Maybe we can meet in the middle? Have you ever been to the Lima Bean?

SEBASTIAN [23:12]: No.

BLAINE [23:14]: It’s good! Their medium drip is to die for, I used to go there every day.

SEBASTIAN [23:15]: Sounds like a trek itself from Dalton

BLAINE [23:15]: No, it’s actually pretty close to Dalton, you can look on Google maps

SEBASTIAN [23:16]: So why not just come to Dalton? Your buddies miss you

BLAINE [23:17]: Because Lima Bean coffee > Dalton coffee

BLAINE [23:17]: Trust me.

SEBASTIAN [23:18]: Believe it when I drink it

SEBASTIAN [23:18]: But okay

BLAINE [23:19]: Then it’s settled? How does tomorrow work for you, around four?

SEBASTIAN [23:19]: It’s a date.

SEBASTIAN [23:19]: See you then, sexy

--

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> I have a boyfriend, you know.]

--

ii.

--

BLAINE [18:23]: Scandals doesn’t have a dress code does it

SEBASTIAN [18:56]: Picture me laughing at that

SEBASTIAN [18:56]: Don’t worry. Just show up cute as ever, you’ll be fine

BLAINE [18:57]: And you’re sure the IDs will work?

SEBASTIAN [19:01]: It’ll be fine

BLAINE [19:03]: Mine says I’m 38!

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> You don’t think I look that old, do you?]

SEBASTIAN [19:04]: They just need to say they saw something, legally, but it could be made in your baby sister’s arts n crafts class. Trust me.

BLAINE [19:05]: Okay. You’re the expert.

SEBASTIAN [19:05]: Nice of you to notice ;)

--

BLAINE [11:26]: Thanks for the lift last night. I was really out of it.

SEBASTIAN [11:28]: I’d say. You tried to convince me Grease 2 had its merits

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> I just think people are a little too hard on sequels!]

SEBASTIAN [11:28]: But seriously

SEBASTIAN [11:28]: Anytime, buddy

--

SEBASTIAN [22:21]: You smashed it. Standing O, seriously.

BLAINE [7:12]: Thanks!

--

SEBASTIAN [17:18]: Is it wrong to thank you, your ass, your mouth, for the fantastic jerk off session I just had?

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> What? Really?

> You’re not serious.

> What the fuck?]

BLAINE [18:03]: Yes.

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> Masturbation while thinking of friends is perfectly normal of course and I won’t pretend I’ve never, but,]

BLAINE [18:04]: Please don’t be like that, Sebastian, or we can’t talk anymore.

SEBASTIAN [18:09]: Oops. So I’m to stay pg13?

BLAINE [18:09]: That would be nice.

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> You’re full of shit. You know exactly what this is, don’t you?]

--

SEBASTIAN [14:35]: Hello pg-friend. How’s your pg-day going?

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> (unimpressed emoji string)]

BLAINE [14:40]: It’s going fine.

BLAINE [14:41]: How are you?

SEBASTIAN [14:43]: I can’t answer that question if I’m to stay family friendly.

BLAINE [14:44]: Sebastian, I have a boyfriend.

SEBASTIAN [14:45]: You don’t say.

SEBASTIAN [14:45]: It wasn’t about you. It’s about the guy who’s ((censored)) me right now and doing such a bad job out of it I wish I was watching C-span instead.

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> You’d do a much better job of it. I can tell.

> ???????????? he’s doing what ????????? how are you texting?]

BLAINE [14:46]: I see

BLAINE [14:46]: Stop him?

SEBASTIAN [14:46]: I never turn down free … let’s say whistle-blowing services

SEBASTIAN [14:47]: It’s rude

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> And I’m starting to get a cramp in my wrist from the blue balls you’ve given me anyways.

> Dump your boyfriend.]

BLAINE [14:48]: Then too bad for you?

SEBASTIAN [14:54]: Not too bad. I did just ((censored))

BLAINE [14:54]: Not cute, Sebastian.

SEBASTIAN [15:19]: I can’t help if my life is rated R

SEBASTIAN [15:52]: What would you have me do?

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> Leave me alone.

> You have hobbies that don’t involve sex, don’t you?

> Do you like being irritating?

> Are we friends?

> I don’t know.]

--

SEBASTIAN [18:21]: I can tell you’re online, you know.

--

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> I know.

> I miss Dalton.]

--

BLAINE [8:01]: Sorry. Been busy, glee club stuff.

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> Don’t get boring on me.]

--

BLAINE [16:26]: Why do people ignore good ideas?

SEBASTIAN [16:26]: People are, as a rule, stupid.

SEBASTIAN [16:26]: What’s up? You didn’t look too happy at the Bean

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> You crashed my date!]

BLAINE [16:28]: Glee club stuff

SEBASTIAN [16:30]: Must be a lot of stuff. Care to share?

BLAINE [16:31]: I don’t know if I should

SEBASTIAN [16:31]: So what? You think I’m out to sabotage your club now?

SEBASTIAN [16:32]: I thought the Warblers were your friends

BLAINE [16:32]: They are!

BLAINE [16:32]: You’re right. It’s not real top-secret stuff anyways. Just … people don’t want to listen to me.

SEBASTIAN [16:33]: Why not? Other than stupidity.

BLAINE [16:35]: Because I’m new, I guess

BLAINE [16:35]: But I did good with the Warblers, didn’t I?

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> Vocals, sure. Dancing, eh.]

SEBASTIAN [16:36]: Yeah, you were amazing with the Warblers.

BLAINE [16:36]: Thank you

BLAINE [16:37]: So I have an established history with glee clubs, right? You’d think some of my ideas would be worth taking into account. But no. I’m an interloper.

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> Come back here, then.]

BLAINE [16:37]: I know I’m new and I have to pay my dues first.

BLAINE [16:38]: It’s just not what I expected, I guess.

SEBASTIAN [16:41]: Make a power base. Get some support. Friends, lackies, whatever

SEBASTIAN [16:41]: People who will agree with you

BLAINE [16:42]: That’s not really how the New Directions work

BLAINE [16:42]: You have to get used to doing things alone.

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> You mean your useless twink of a boyfriend can’t help?]

SEBASTIAN [16:43]: What about Kurt?

BLAINE [16:43]: Of course Kurt supports me!

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> Yeah, the exclamation point really sells it]

SEBASTIAN [16:44]: Okay so that’s one. What about his friends?

BLAINE [16:47]: I haven’t really hung out with them.

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> Your life sounds miserable.]

BLAINE [16:47]: Again, I’m the interloper. Even though I transferred schools ...

BLAINE [16:52]: Ignore me. I know I’m not being fair.

BLAINE [16:52]: Apparently, two years ago a guy did transfer from Carmel just to date the lead, Rachel, and try to sabotage her. So there is precedent.

SEBASTIAN [17:03]: That’s insane. Who transfers schools to do something like that?

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> And who leaves a better school for a shittier one?]

BLAINE [17:05]: Glee club gets really intense.

BLAINE [17:05]: You don’t read show choir blogs, do you?

SEBASTIAN [17:06]: I’ve read a few

SEBASTIAN [17:06]: I’m all about being informed about my enemies

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> Am I your enemy?

> Are we your enemy?

> Who’s your enemy?]

BLAINE [17:08]: See, I don’t get that. Calling people enemies and cutthroat behavior like that. Isn’t it better to win honestly? That’s how you really know you’re the best.

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> That’s naive

> You’re lucky you’re cute

> Gaaaaaaaaayy]

SEBASTIAN [17:09: People have different ways of judging what’s best, I suppose

BLAINE [17:10]: Yeah.

BLAINE [17:12]: Hey, if you read the blogs, have you read about this Jean Baptiste guy? He sounds crazy!

SEBASTIAN [17:12]: Oh, totally.

--

SEBASTIAN [6:58]: I just had a brainwave.

BLAINE [7:00]: ?

SEBASTIAN [7:01]: I just realized waffles are the fat American, pancakes are the limp Canadian, and crepes are the sexy French.

BLAINE [7:02]: This sounds suspiciously like a compliment to yourself.

SEBASTIAN [7:02]: Calling me sexy, Anderson?

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> NO!

> Not like that!

> You know you’re good looking. Shut up.]

BLAINE [7:02]: That’s what I mean! It was a trap to benefit you!

BLAINE [7:03]: But I suppose it makes sense. Are the British crumpets then?

SEBASTIAN [7:03]: Definitely

SEBASTIAN [7:03]: Doughy and full of air…just like them

BLAINE [7:04]: That’s mean.

SEBASTIAN [7:04]: Yet I know you’re laughing

BLAINE [7:04]: I plead the 5th

SEBASTIAN [7:05]: Then let’s talk about my sexiness again

BLAINE [7:05]: Shut up

BLAINE [7:05]: Fine. I’m laughing.

BLAINE [7:05]: (string of smiling emojis)

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> God, you’re cute]

SEBASTIAN [7:06]: (thumbs up emojis)

SEBASTIAN [7:08]: Which reminds me: what happened to Mr Richardson’s thumb?

BLAINE [7:08]: Apparently it’s classified.

BLAINE [7:08]: But we had lots of theories

SEBASTIAN [7:09]: Tell me everything

--

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> Thanks, by the way. I needed the pick-me-up.]

--

SEBASTIAN [15:01]: Texting during W meetings is strictly prohibited. I’m a rebel. I’m a saint. I’m salt of the earth and I’m dangerous.

BLAINE [15:01]: They’ll put you in Dalton Jail for that. Careful.

SEBASTIAN [15:01]: Haha

SEBASTIAN [15:01]: … Wait are you serious?

SEBASTIAN [15:02]: Does Dalton have a jail?

SEBASTIAN [15:02]: It totally does, doesn’t it.

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> (winking emoji)]

BLAINE [15:03]: Wouldn’t you like to know

SEBASTIAN [15:04]: Evil, pal, that’s real evil …

--

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> So how go things with the wife?]

--

SEBASTIAN [20:12]: Hey? Do me a solid?

BLAINE [20:12]: What’s up?

SEBASTIAN [20:13]: My car’s in the shop, mind giving me a ride to Pittsburgh to pick it up? Can do it in the evening, I’ll just get a hotel room and get her in the morning.

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> I don’t know if that’s a good idea.]

BLAINE [20:16]: Sure, when?

SEBASTIAN [20:16]: Thanks. Friday?

BLAINE [20:21]: I can do that.

[UNSENT TEXT:

> What, no date night?]

BLAINE [20:21]: Why’s your car in Pittsburgh anyways?

SEBASTIAN [20:22]: I was there last week and it broke down. Dad dropped me back at school but he can’t drive me out there.

SEBASTIAN [20:22]: Too busy.

BLAINE [20:23]: I know how that goes.

BLAINE [20:23]: Well, it’s no problem.

BLAINE [20:23]: I hope you know I’ll be picking the music though.

SEBASTIAN [20:24]: That’s fine.

SEBASTIAN [20:25]: Hopefully I’ll get to hear a little of your singing along…

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> I miss your voice]

BLAINE [20:25]: Of course.

BLAINE [20:25]: Who can listen to the radio and NOT sing along?

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> Me.]

SEBASTIAN [20:26]: Good question.

SEBASTIAN [20:26]: I look forward to it. A little Sebastian-and-Blaine roadtrip action.

SEBASTIAN [20:31]: I’ll be free after 3:30, so pick me up whenever after that.

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> It’s a date.]

BLAINE [20:32]: Okay, I should be there by 4/4:30.

BLAINE [20:32]: I’ll keep you updated.

SEBASTIAN [20:33]: Thanks again, tiger

--

BLAINE [22:21]: Got home safe!

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> (smiling emojis)]

SEBASTIAN [22:24]: K

--

SEBASTIAN [10:23]: No accidents on this end either.

BLAINE [10:24]: Good to hear!

SEBASTIAN [10:31]: Though I’ll have you know Hungry Like The Wolf played on the radio at one point and I started laughing so hard I nearly veered off the road.

BLAINE [10:32]: I never should have told you that story!

SEBASTIAN [10:32]: Yeah…but boy am I glad you did!

BLAINE [10:33]: I blame it all on Cooper, for the record.

SEBASTIAN [10:34]: But it doesn’t erase the truth, does it? The horrible, kibble smoothie truth...

BLAINE [10:34]: Ignoring you!

SEBASTIAN [10:35]: (kiss blowing emoji)

--

BLAINE [13:03]: What’s so great about New York, anyways?

SEBASTIAN [13:11]: Art, culture, bagels?

BLAINE [13:12]: Okay. Sure.

BLAINE [13:12]: I’m just being dumb.

SEBASTIAN [13:12]: You don’t have to say that whenever you’re upset.

BLAINE [13:15]: ?

SEBASTIAN [13:15]: You know. Deflecting.

SEBASTIAN [13:15]: What’s up?

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> Kurt stuff?]

BLAINE [13:19]: Nothing.

BLAINE [13:29]: I miss Dalton.

BLAINE [13:30]: I like McKinley but

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> It’s kind of lonely.

> Everything kind of smells like Pinesol.

> I hate NYADA.]

BLAINE [13:31]: Ugh.

BLAINE [13:32]: Sorry. I can’t just. Type stuff like this. I feel dumb looking at the words.

BLAINE [13:32]: I’m better at singing about it.

SEBASTIAN [13:32]: What about talking about it?

BLAINE [13:33]: … I’m better at singing about it.

SEBASTIAN [13:24]: You home?

BLAINE [13:24]: Yes

BLAINE [13:24]: Why?

--

INCOMING CALL: SEBASTIAN SMYTHE

[ACCEPT] / DECLINE

--

BLAINE [18:12]: Thanks, Sebastian.

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> Dump your boyfriend]

SEBASTIAN [18:13]: No problem

--

INCOMING CALL: SEBASTIAN SMYTHE

[ACCEPT] / DECLINE

--

INCOMING CALL: BLAINE ANDERSON

[ACCEPT] / DECLINE

--

BLAINE [8:11]: We’re friends, right?

SEBASTIAN [8:12]: Best of buddies.

--

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> I don’t want to be your fucking friend, though.

> Why do you only text me when you and Hummel aren’t updating your joint Pinterest wedding board?

> WHO THE FUCK HAS A JOINT PINTEREST WEDDING BOARD????????

> Your boyfriend looks like a turtle.

> Had a dream you were riding me. Care to make it a reality?

> Being pg-13 sucks.]

--

BLAINE [9:23]: Excited for Regionals?

SEBASTIAN [9:24]: Like you wouldn’t believe.

SEBASTIAN [9:24]: Should have stuck with the winning team, Anderson, cos McKinley’s gonna bite it.

BLAINE [9:25]: We’ll see about that!

BLAINE [9:25]: We have the homecourt advantage, you know. (winking emoji)

SEBASTIAN [9:26]: I’ve whipped the Warblers into fighting shape, though.

SEBASTIAN [9:26]: You won’t know what hit you.

BLAINE [9:27]: Right back atcha!

--

INCOMING CALL: SEBASTIAN SMYTHE

[ACCEPT] / DECLINE

--

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> I hate you.

> Do you know the mess you’ve made?!

> I hate you.]

--

SEBASTIAN [12:00]: Come to Dalton for rehearsal if you want to see Michael done well.

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> And exactly what you’re missing out on.]

--

BLAINE [17:12]: Why are you doing this?

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> It’s not a big deal]

SEBASTIAN [18:23]: Like I said

SEBASTIAN [18:23]: I’m tired of playing nice

BLAINE [18:24]: I thought we were friends

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> We are

> That's so gay]

SEBASTIAN [18:25]: Truth time, Blaine

SEBASTIAN [18:27]: Friends don’t let friends waste away at some ass-backward public school in Armpit, Ohio with an ungrateful bunch of hypocritical special ed losers who don’t recognize your talent, dating an an ugly guy who looks like he should be on a milk carton because he climbed into someone’s candy van, who definitely doesn’t put it to you the way you deserve.

SEBASTIAN [18:27]: You’ll thank me for this.

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> Fuck you.]

BLAINE [18:31]: Kurt was right about you.

SEBASTIAN [18:31]: Like I care what he thinks

BLAINE [18:31]: Or what I think?

BLAINE [19:02]: Fine, whatever.

BLAINE [19:02]: We’re going to settle this the old-fashioned way.

BLAINE [19:02]: Two clubs enter, one club leaves with the rights to Michael.

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> What the fuck are you talking about?]

SEBASTIAN [19:04]: Sounds fun.

--

INCOMING CALL: SEBASTIAN SMYTHE

ACCEPT / [DECLINE]

--

INCOMING CALL: SEBASTIAN SMYTHE

ACCEPT / [DECLINE]

--

INCOMING CALL: SEBASTIAN SMYTHE

ACCEPT / [DECLINE]

--

CONTACT BLOCKED: SEBASTIAN SMYTHE

--

iii.

--

NICK [8:12]: First off, this is Sebastian. Don’t want you accusing me of subterfuge. You just happen to have me blocked everywhere so I went to an alternate avenue.

This is an official invitation to you, Kurt, and Santana to meet me at the Lima Bean tomorrow after school. It’s an offer of peace, before you get worried. We heard about Dave Karofsky over here too and it’s made me reconsider things. We need to talk.

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> Please.]

BLAINE [15:57]: Not that you deserve it, but. Fine.

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> I’m sorry.]

--

CONTACT UNBLOCKED: SEBASTIAN SMYTHE

--

BLAINE [7:23]: I saw that you guys raised a lot of money for Dave. Congratulations.

SEBASTIAN [7:24]: Thanks, Blaine.

--

iv.

--

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> How are you?]

--

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> I miss you.]

--

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> Made a kid cry today. Clearly still getting a hang of this nice guy stuff.]

--

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> When did you give Kurt a complex about working at The Lima Bean?]

--

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> How did Paris get boring?]

--

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> I wish we were still friends.

> I still get mad sometimes.

> Why did the Warblers help you?]

--

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> I’ve got a book recommendation for you. You’d like it. Lots of sappy speeches.]

--

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> Why did I come here?]

--

UNSENT TEXTS:

> I’m starting to feel like a pussy.]

--

SEBASTIAN [16:23]: College applications are boring.

BLAINE [18:53]: The performing bit intimidates me.

BLAINE [18:53]: Hi, by the way. How was your summer?

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> NYADA applications?]

SEBASTIAN [18:54]: Please, you’re a born performer.

SEBASTIAN [18:54]: Fine. Sex, drugs, and rock-and-roll. The usual. Yours?

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> Thank you.]

BLAINE [18:55]: It was nice. I did my theme park circuit mostly, and hung out with Kurt. He’s in New York now though with Rachel.

BLAINE [18:55]: And I’m the new Rachel of glee club.

SEBASTIAN [18:56]: What the hell does that mean?

BLAINE [18:56]: Honestly? I’m not totally sure.

BLAINE [18:56]: But it’s very prestigious.

SEBASTIAN [18:57]: Then congratulations on becoming Rachel. Dating Finn Hudson next on your agenda?

BLAINE [18:57]: No.

BLAINE [18:57]: I’m dating Kurt, and Finn’s off in the Army, anyways.

SEBASTIAN [18:58]: Really?

SEBASTIAN [18:59]: Never know where anyone’s going to end up…

BLAINE [18:59]: Yeah

BLAINE [18:59]: Sorry, gtg. Skype date with Kurt.

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> Hah say ‘hi’ for me

> So you’re really doing the long distance thing? Have fun with that.]

SEBASTIAN [19:00]: Have fun with that.

--

SEBASTIAN [13:02]: You free?

BLAINE [13:02]: Sorry, school president work to do! Ttyl!

--

BLAINE [19:12]: Hey

SEBASTIAN [19:12]: Hey

SEBASTIAN [19:12]: What’s up?

BLAINE [19:13]: Nothing much.

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> Can’t believe I’m about to ask this but I am trying this whole nice guy thing so, aren’t you supposed to be Skyping Hummel right now? Or are you skipping out on undoubtedly awkward cybersex for once?]

SEBASTIAN [19:14]: Isn’t this your Skype date time?

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> It’s supposed to be.

> Apparently, but I’m the only one who remembers.

> No, it’s not.]

BLAINE [19:14]: Oh yeah! Shoot, sorry, bye Sebastian! Ttyl!

SEBASTIAN [19:15]: Right.

--

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> Even looking at your name I know this is a bad idea. I could always talk to you but that’s just because you said what I wanted to hear, didn’t you? But I’m just stupid Blaine and I don’t notice these things. Did you really change? Can people change? Can your boyfriend just go away and become a different person? Am I the one who changed? Blah blah blah. I need a diary.

> I miss Kurt.

> I wish we could talk.

> Technology sucks.]

--

SEBASTIAN [15:21]: Military school kids are the worst. I’m going to yank the stick out of this guy’s ass and beat him with it.

SEBASTIAN [8:25]: He’s kind of hot though, in a douchebag way.

SEBASTIAN [17:12]: This is when you chime in that I would know what that looks like, you know.

SEBASTIAN [17:13]: What’s the point of setting something up if you don’t take the swing? Jeez.

--

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> I just did something really stupid.]

--

CANCELLED CALL: TO SEBASTIAN SMYTHE.

--

SEBASTIAN [23:42]: You called me? What’s up?

BLAINE: Sorry. Butt dial.

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> Talking about your butt to me is just mean.]

SEBASTIAN [23:42]: Careful with that, buddy.

--

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> Seriously?!?!]

--

BLAINE [14:21]: You never do change, do you?

SEBASTIAN [14:53]: Maybe some people just don’t.

--

INCOMING CALL: SEBASTIAN SMYTHE

ACCEPT / [DECLINE]

--

SEBASTIAN [12:24]: Are we forgiven now that we’re probably never competing again?

SEBASTIAN [12:24]: I know we deserved that but it’s retirement home serenades from now on.

SEBASTIAN [12:34]: At least Hunter is gone.

BLAINE [12:34]: I’m sorry, how do you have the time to text when you should be out there cheating? Run out of steroids to inject?

SEBASTIAN [12:35]: Ouch.

SEBASTIAN [12:35]: You know, I’d never do anything to risk my junk, and I definitely don’t need drugs to keep up.

BLAINE [12:36]: But you didn’t stop it, did you?

SEBASTIAN [12:37]: Jesus. No, I didn’t. And I’m sorry.

SEBASTIAN [12:38]: But I totally lost my authority and I didn’t feel like being a narc.

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> As Justin Timberlake would say, cry me a river.

> I'm sorry. I shouldn’t be so hard on you. I know the kind of stupid stuff people pull when they’re desperate.

> Do you really think Hunter’s hot?]

SEBASTIAN [12:45]: I’m glad you did it though. Someone needed to.

BLAINE [12:45]: Yeah. Right.

BLAINE [12:47]: You’re welcome.

--

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> According to Facebook, you’re no longer single. Bummer.

> Serious question: did I ever have a chance?

> Blaine, don’t hate me for this, but he really doesn’t deserve you.

> Wish you never unblocked me.]

--

INCOMING CALL: BLAINE ANDERSON

[ACCEPT] / DECLINE

--

BLAINE [15:31]: Okay so you timed it, right? He can get from the entrance to the stairs in that time?

SEBASTIAN [15:32]: Relax, Blaine

SEBASTIAN [15:32]: He definitely can, with time left to spare

BLAINE [15:32]: You timed it?

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> Can you pay me if you’re going to pull this nervous bride routine? Yes, I did.]

SEBASTIAN [15:33]: Yes, Blaine.

SEBASTIAN [15:34]: I now hate All You Need is Love with a passion from singing it so many times, but I timed it myself, with a few ‘stop and stare at the spectacle’ pauses. I even factored in a possible delay if Sam tries dancing and trips. Which is your job to prevent, btw

BLAINE [15:35]: Thanks, Sebastian.

BLAINE [15:35]: You’ve been amazing.

BLAINE [15:35]: You’re a choreography genius, you know that?

BLAINE [15:41]: But nobody can hate the Beatles ever. That’s a fact.

SEBASTIAN [15:41]: Agree to disagree.

SEBASTIAN [15:41]: But thanks.

BLAINE [15:42]: Oh come on, you have to have a favorite Beatles song, everyone does!

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> It’s camp but my mom always liked to sing All Your Need is Love so. That used to be it. Emphasis on used to be.]

SEBASTIAN [15:43]: I Saw Her Standing There.

BLAINE [15:44]: I love that one! Good taste.

SEBASTIAN [15:44]: I’ve been known to have that, yes

SEBASTIAN [15:44]: You?

BLAINE [15:45]: Blackbird. Back at Dalton, after Pavarotti died, Kurt sang a beautiful rendition of that and it was my moment about him. Hence the Beatles now.

BLAINE [15:56]: I told that story already, didn’t I?

SEBASTIAN [16:02]: Yeah, you did.

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> About five hundred fucking times]

SEBASTIAN [16:03]: It’s a good song

SEBASTIAN [16:04]: That bird ritual was bizarre. I just paid some freshman to babysit mine for me. I wouldn’t have noticed if it dropped dead

BLAINE [16:05]: But it’s tradition!

SEBASTIAN [16:05]: I don’t like to do things just because someone says I should

BLAINE [16:06]: Well, that’s true. You move to the beat of your own drum.

SEBASTIAN [16:06]: I try.

BLAINE [16:07]: I like it, by the way, that wasn’t an insult!

SEBASTIAN [16:08]: Didn’t think it was

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> Quick question, are we friends again?]

SEBASTIAN [16:09]: Well, I gotta go. Dance steps to plan, other glee club heads to yell at. You know how it is. Bye.

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> Sebastian …]

BLAINE [16:10]: Bye!

--

BLAINE [23:19]: Thank you again for your help, Sebastian.

SEBASTIAN [23:20]: You’re welcome.

SEBASTIAN [23:22]: Have a good life, Blaine.

--

v.

--

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> I’m single now, you know.]

--

BLAINE [14:09]: Sebastian, I have a question. And I want you to answer honestly.

SEBASTIAN [14:15]: Well, hello to you too.

SEBASTIAN [14:15]: I don’t even get a ‘sup’? It’s only been god knows how long since I last even heard from you.

SEBASTIAN [14:15]: Rude, rude boy…

BLAINE [14:16]: Okay, jeez, I’m sorry.

BLAINE [14:16]: Hi, Sebastian, how are you?

SEBASTIAN [14:16]: Swell.

SEBASTIAN [14:17]: Now what’s this question? If it’s about whether red makes your ass look big, the answer is yes, but it’s a good thing.

BLAINE [14:18]: That is definitely not my question.

BLAINE [14:18]: It’s about me and Kurt.

SEBASTIAN [14:18]: Okay…

BLAINE [14:19]: When you helped with the proposal, did you think we would work out?

SEBASTIAN [14:20]: Dear god

SEBASTIAN [14:20]: Is this a trick question?

BLAINE [14:21]: No. Honesty, please.

SEBASTIAN [14:22]: Fine. You asked for it.

SEBASTIAN [14:23]: The answer is ‘no’ but I also figured you would keep trying. In an ‘insanity is repeating the same action over and over and expecting different results’ kind of way. But you don’t have to listen to me. I was always a jerk about you two.

SEBASTIAN [14:56]: Too much?

BLAINE [14:57]: …

BLAINE [14:57]: No, that’s fair.

BLAINE [14:58]: Did you know Dalton coffee hasn’t changed? It’s great.

SEBASTIAN [14:58]. Okay, random

SEBASTIAN [14:58]: I thought you preferred the Bean

BLAINE [14:59]: Well, yeah.

BLAINE [15:00]: But Dalton has that special something.

SEBASTIAN [15:02]: I don’t even remember what it tastes like, honestly.

SEBASTIAN [15:02]: Wait.

SEBASTIAN [15:02]: Why are you at Dalton?

SEBASTIAN [15:03]: Did I miss a reunion? I thought I had at least a decade before I got dragged into one of those.

BLAINE [15:04]: No.

BLAINE [15:04]: I’m the faculty advisor for the Warblers right now.

SEBASTIAN [15:04]: Uh did you graduate early or something?

BLAINE [15:05]: No. I dropped out, actually. So. Back home I went.

SEBASTIAN [15:07]: Oh boy

SEBASTIAN [15:07]: Suddenly I understand why you were asking about the proposal. I take it you’re single once more?

BLAINE [15:07]: Yeah. For a little while now.

BLAINE [15:07]: I’m surprised you didn’t know. You used to always be on my page.

SEBASTIAN [15:08]: Hey. People change.

BLAINE [15:08]: That’s true.

SEBASTIAN [15:09]: So what happened? Get into a fight over who was allowed to wear trillbys? Death match over bowties? Did he find out you used to jerk off to me in high school?

BLAINE [15:11]: Who says I did that??

SEBASTIAN [15:12]: Please, Blaine. We’re grownups now. You can be honest.

BLAINE [15:13]: I plead the fifth

SEBASTIAN [15:13]: Yeah, that’s what I thought

SEBASTIAN [15:14]: Seriously though. You okay? Do you want to talk about it?

BLAINE [15:14]: It’s a long and frankly miserable story.

SEBASTIAN [15:15]: I got all day and a lack of empathy, you know that. Fire away

BLAINE [15:17]: Hah…some things don’t change, do they?

BLAINE [15:17]: I think that’s exactly what you said on our little roadtrip when you got me to talk about some of my more embarrassing memories involving Cooper and Duran Duran.

SEBASTIAN [15:18]: It works like a charm, what can I say?

BLAINE [15:19]: It does. But for the record, you’re easy to talk to because you listen, not because you don’t care.

SEBASTIAN [15:20]: Stop, you’ll make me blush.

BLAINE [15:20]: Trust me, it's true.

SEBASTIAN [15:20]: I believe you. Now stop deflecting and talk.

BLAINE [15:21]: Okay.

BLAINE [15:21]: Actually, where are you? Can I call you?

SEBASTIAN [15:21]: Between classes. Go ahead.

BLAINE [15:22]: Thanks, Sebastian.

--

INCOMING CALL: BLAINE ANDERSON

[ACCEPT] / DECLINE

--

[END]