#Noah Kahan has destroyed me

[norrizzandpia]

What We Could’ve Been and What We Are Now: The Masterlist (LN4 x Reader)

Summary: Jon’s daughter and childhood best friends, Y/n and Lando share a special type of love. A love that has always made them prioritize each other, show up no matter what when the other needed them. A love that turned romantic so incredibly, strikingly fast. When their friendship finally addresses that shared feeling and labels are thrown around, their connection takes a turn. Arguments, trust issues, and petty insults make up their young love and it’s not what either of them expected. A turning point, a stupid mistake, brings out an inevitable end and the two are left to stand in the midst of a destroyed relationship, a friendship that is no longer salvageable. However, young people make stupid mistakes that they later grow from and what happens when years later numbers are unblocked, words are shared again, and the love they shared burns once more? Warnings, an author’s note, chapter links and summaries, and a playlist below the cut!

Warnings: language, smut in later chapters (that will be specified on specific chapters), cheating

Note: please don’t be turned away by the cheating warning 🙏🏻 trust me when i tell you it all works out in the end in a way that does not have Y/n looking like she has no self worth

Chapter Links:

The Youngest Love (Chapter One)

A backstory to the beginning of a love story.

A Beautiful Start (Chapter Two)

Ever since their first official date, Y/n and Lando fall into the honeymoon phase.

Why Can’t You See It My Way?! (Chapter Three)

Arguments and bickering turn what once was into something messy and painful.

A Stupid Mistake (Chapter Four)

In the wake of their fight, Lando wakes up to someone who is not his Y/n.

If You Don’t Tell Her, I Will (Chapter Five)

Something that started out with the purest of intentions ends with the most dirty confession.

Please, I’m Sorry (Chapter Six)

Lando tries and tries to contact Y/n after their fallout. However, with a blocked contact and an angry Jon, he can only do so much.

Reconciling (Chapter Seven)

When he can’t reach Y/n, Lando goes to apologize to his second father.

Years Later (Chapter Eight)

His first race win is not the only reason why Lando is having the best day of his life.

Stay Up With Me? (Chapter Nine)

Picking up where they left off has never seemed so easy yet Y/n can’t get rid of the nagging fear of what could be repeated.

Listen To Me (Chapter Ten)

At the risk of another fallout, Lando works to stop from losing what he so foolishly lost before.

The Playlist:

1. The Grudge by Olivia Rodrigo

2. Logical by Olivia Rodrigo

3. Making the Bed by Olivia Rodrigo

4. Lacy by Olivia Rodrigo

5. Take It All by Adele

6. Tolerate It by Taylor Swift

7. Right Where You Left Me by Taylor Swift

8. Hurt Me Once by Ben Platt

9. Illicit Affairs by Taylor Swift

10. Keep That To Yourself (voice memo) by Tristan

11. I Miss You, I’m Sorry by Gracie Abrams

12. Ceilings by Lizzy McAlpine

13. Movies by Conan Gray

14. Cardigan by Taylor Swift

15. Your Needs, My Needs by Noah Kahan

16. Betty by Taylor Swift

17. TV by Billie Ellish

18. Footnote by Conan Gray

19. Fine Line by Harry Styles

20. August by Taylor Swift

21. The 1 by Taylor Swift

22. Special by SZA

23. Marjorie by Taylor Swift

24. Decode by Sabrina Carpenter

25. Champagne Problems by Taylor Swift

26. Strawberry Wine by Noah Kahan

27. All My Love by Noah Kahan

28. Talk by Hozier

[st4rgzer]

STICK SEASON matt sturniolo

genre: angst and just a bit of fluff at the end

summary: you have some unfinished business with someone you’ve missed more than you’d like to admit

cw!: self deprecation i think?

a/n: feeling very Noah Kahan ish

I went to Vermont to my parents house in a desperate attempt to find some comfort in anything, my childhood house came close to what I needed, even if the sad pink wallpaper pasted on my wall was peeling off, the bed, rusty, and the springs tired of supporting groups of chatting girls, or the mirror dusty from not having anyone stare into it to do their makeup for a while now, it still brought me a little bit of relief to have proof that I was once in a better place.

But now it was time to go “home” or at least what used to be home, now home has a different meaning. I’ve always struggled with selfishness, always having angry tendencies so I directly remove myself from the situation in order to avoid any nuisance I might provoke. Matt helped me. He saw the good in me as I saw the good in him, showing me that yelling isn’t the only way one can be heard, gentle words, whispers and sighs, worked effortlessly with him, everything envolving him meant being engulfed endlessly in light and sweetness. Now I’m stuck between the anger and the blame I can’t face, I tried to just remove myself from the situation.

“We can fix this please, I can fix this, I can change”

“I know you can, but I can’t be here, I don’t want to watch you destroy yourself, I’m tired of this”

That’s when he just drove off and left our future to the right. Rightfully so, I tend to play the victim, I’m trying to change, for him.

The phone dials again and the familiar voicemail appears, he used to call me forever now he can’t even call me back. I’m in Boston and I don’t think they’re home, but I’m terrified of knocking on their door.

Until I wasn’t. My body suddenly became 10 times heavier as I tried to drag myself to their doorstep, tempted to just run off and catch the next plane to nowhere. But I had to do this, for him, for me.

knock, knock, knock

One, two, three

The door opened and I was greeted with a very surprised Matt, he looked different from when I had seen him last, not in a bad way.

“what are you doing here” He blatantly said, quickly, he realized how brute he’d been and rectified his wording

“-i’m sorry, Hey y/n, what brings you…here?” He furrowed his eyebrows slightly as I began talking, it seemed my voice startled him, after all, it had been some time.

“I wanted to talk to you” I said, trying not to seem too stern. I had a habit of making situations more complicated then they had to be. He sighed and opened the door for me to walk through, the smell of bath and body works candle Nick bought for one of their videos (i’m sorry icba to use the pink sands reference) brought me back to the long movie sessions we’d have on their family couch, Mary Lou would bring us christmas cookies grannies would buy, I bought those last week, they didn’t taste the same.

“so um- long time…” He said walking behind the couch, creating some distance between us. He put his hands in his pockets and pursed his lips, I don’t think he was very happy to see me.

“yeah” I bit my inner cheek. Id come here to talk but I couldn’t seem to find any words right now, I wish it could be like it used to be, I wouldn’t have to say anything, he’d know what was wrong, he’d find the words for me.

“Matt I-” I took a deep breath and tried not to make a joke out of myself. “I know I have no right to show up at your doorstep unannounced, well I did call you but- that’s not the point. I’m sorry, yes that’s what I wanted to say, I’m sorry, and I’m sorry for fucking everything up and showing up in your life again and that’s not fair but I needed you to know I’m not a bad person, I’ve made mistakes and I can’t even say how sorry i am for hurting you in any way possible but I think about you everyday. I mean I see you everywhere, I see you when It rains, I see you when I discover a new song then I remember you recommended it to me, and I mean, I think what we had, what at least I thought we had, was something, you know? Now i see you mother and she doesn’t even remember me.” I inhaled sharply, my words spewing faster than I could breathe. I couldn’t figure out what Matt was thinking, if it was good or bad, well, I think in this situation it couldn’t be very good, one can hope.

A minute of silence passed by, the only sound that filled it was our steady-ish breaths, we looked at each other as if we were having a telepathic argument, however that would work, I thought telling a joke would ease the tension, I missed his laugh, maybe I’d get to hear it once again, but I don’t think i’m funny anymore.

“y/n…” My eyes were wide as I clawed into the couch in anticipation, not knowing if the next hour I would spend crying or whatever the other option was.

"I missed you too" his words were doubtful, he questioned himself, uncertain in wether he meant them or not.

“yes, I missed you. Maybe that’s bad, maybe I’m just a masochist, that, or you’re just engraved in my brain” He chuckled, his laughed remained the same, at least some things are how I remembered.

“so…you don’t hate me?” I said cautiously, analyzing his words in my mind to see if he really said what he said.

“I don’t think so, I’ve never hated you I don’t think. I couldn’t hate you, y/n, even if I tried, and trust me, I tried” His words almost seemed fake as I tried to fathom them, a puzzled look on my face that seemed to amuse Matt.

I nodded, not quite knowing what to respond just yet, or how to continue with the conversation. Figuring out any hidden meaning behind his slight smile, maybe everything was just really in my head, well, at least some part of it.

“I told Mary Lou you were going to be in town, I listened to you voicemails” He paused, looking away, almost embarrassed.

“I was nervous for you to come, I didn’t know how to feel exactly…But I definitely haven’t forgotten about you, the other day Chris accidentally bought two hats online, one was yellow, your favorite colour, is it still you favorite? Well, Nick reminded us”

I smiled. It was weird to hear that my name was thrown around in foreign conversations, I thought it may be a taboo here.

“It is. I’m glad, was Chris able to return the hat?” I said, thinking I sounded stupid to get that from the conversation instead of the important part, I tried to spark conversation.

“I kept it.” He said quietly, I smiled, a feeling of pity lingered in my stomach.

“I know this might be a long shot but, do you maybe want to get lunch, or coffee, or something with me? I’m in town till next week, if you want of course” I said, trying not to fumble my words, hoping to make things work, or just at least leave them a little better.

“sure”

A sudden childish excitement filled me, a feeling I had missed so dearly, a feeling I had when I was with Matt, as I could see.

“ok, text me?” I tilted my head, hopeful, relieved when he nodded. Saying things like this so casually still unsettled me slightly but I’ll try to ignore the feeling.

I guess lunch it is.

taglist: @gaytoadwithapopsicle @dwntwn-strnlo @oneirophobic @20nugs @iha8you @lovelysturniolo @stvrni0lo @ssturniolo @ifilwtmfc @gabbylovesreading @lvrsparadise @strniolo

[ronanlynchbf]

thank u for the tag @lesbianjudasiscariot <33333!!!!! shuffle ur spotify on repeat playlist & let it predict the coming year – the first 12 songs represent ur 2024 this is actually so fun i LOOOOOVE music tag games so much. insert that i love music music is life music is everything twitter thread.

january – the man who sold the world by david bowie; reconnection with my former self ABSOLUTELYYYY 💪💪💪 starting off great

february – point and kill by little simz; basically saying "whatever i want, i'm gonna get it" if u bring the song down to its bare essentials (disregarding all of the cultural references and experiences bc i'm not nigerian and i can't apply them to myself). so if we're going off of basics irt song meaning we're still going strong 👍

march – shadow (i'm breaking down) by destroy boys; noooooo we're going downhill

april – stick season by noah kahan; well. we're officially at the low point i guess 😞

june – (you) on my arm by leith ross; basically longing for and longing to be with someone...coincides with how i usually feel around june/summer actually so. probably accurate.

july – this is why by paramore; well okay 😐

august – lava lamp by lolo zouaï; i knew this one was gonna make the list i've played this sm since it came out but what the song's about.. basically i'm in a relationship that i'm not satisfied with. ellipsis ellipsis ellipsis

september – not my fault by reneé rapp and megan thee stallion; FUN TIMES AND CONFIDENCE HELL YEAH 🙏

october – the moon will sing by the crane wives; well if this song prediction has told me anything it's that romantic relationships will NOT work out for me..

november – imaginando by eno, morad, and mero; (banger song btw) this one is about resilience and the power of dreaming/imagining from what little i can personally understand from it, so we're definitely back on the uptick 👆 and in my birthday month!

december – tv by alex g; an absent father and suppressing feelings...

well we're not closing off with a bang that's for sure but i think overall this in its entirety isn't THAT bad 😎💪

tagging @miseria-fortes-viros @musicscum @mnwlk @miufilm & @dickggansey IF u all want to <333!!!

[ronqueesha]

I've been developing my death knight as a new WoW roleplay character in my head for a while.

I don't have every detail planned, but the things I know about her:

Her name (for now) is Rosalyn Kwesha.

She was a small time thief and petty criminal in Gilneas before the worgen curse afflicted the population. She gained quite the reputation for her lawbreaking among the poor and downtrodden. She wasn't quite a robin hood figure, the people just liked it when someone made the king and his laws look bad.

She was in the prison that player worgen characters go to early in the introduction questline. The one absolutely infested with feral worgen. This means she was one of those people who was turned by the curse into a mindless canine monstrosity who attacked the player, and was killed.

Not long after, Bolvar Fordragon the lich king rose Rosalyn and several others as he secretly built up his forces. This new crop of death knights would prove useful to him during the legion invasion and other conflicts. Rosalyn herself was just one of many rank-and-file undead soldiers the lich king held in reserve, not an important adventurer.

When Sylvanas Windrunner destroyed a huge part of the lich king's power by destroying the helm of domination, Rosalyn was freed of her magical compulsion to serve him. She did not take part in the shadowlands story, instead she immediately ran from the servitude of one bad king to see the remains of her home and the ashes left behind by another bad king.

As of now, the former thief turned undead worgen is struggling to build a new life. The old Rosalyn is quite literally dead and gone, but the new one still lives inside her skin.

So she's like a mix between my other OCs Saoirse and Iona. but also a werewolf.

Like all of my OCs, she hides her true feelings under a mask of falsehood. Where the real Rosalyn is lost and full of regrets over a wasted life and an unjust death, the fake persona she puts into the world is much more upbeat and pleasant.

The main sources of inspiration that my brain obsessively clings to are the songs "Run Away to Mars" by TALK and "Dial Drunk" by Noah Kahan.

This line in particular sticks with me:

"I ain't proud of all the punches that I've thrown in the name of someone I no longer know."

I guess my muse is trying to say Rosalyn had someone she deeply loved in her past, who is perhaps still alive and several decades older. Someone who has moved on without her, but Rosalyn is stuck in the past, full of regrets and sorrow over what was taken from her.

[thebloomingheather]

I’ve been following Right Where You Left Me for a while now and have time and time again found myself rereading it and being emotionally destroyed each and every time I’ve read it. I know you have your soundtrack for certain parts which is always amazing because it does help convey the emotions. But sometime I auto play some of my playlists and let me tell you I have hurt myself with that. Reading your story and listening to “The Night We Met” by Lord Huron has nearly made me stop and sob a varying parts of your story.

I just found your tumblr so I wanted to say this here too, thank you for this amazing work. With how long this next chapter is I know it must be so emotionally draining (but satisfying) to write this story. And a second thank you for this upcoming chapter that I know will once again emotionally destroy my heart and soul.

Thank you! This fell through my messy inbox and it's a pleasant surprise for me to find. I truly appreciate you took the time to kindly voice your appreciation here and to share your favourite track to read along with. It's honestly been really nice hearing people tell me they have their playlists and favourite artists be it Noah Kahan, Mitski, and more to accompany their reading experience. Music has a way of letting us connect with our emotions and I'm glad you found your pick to keep you company in this oftentimes sad, but hopefully ultimately uplifting story. And thank you for validating the effort, the emotional work that goes into writing each chapter. 💜

[frontlinet1tties]

me, for months now: i’m scared to listen to noah kahan because he has been compared to hozier and i can’t handle a Second Hozier

the literal first song of his i seek out to listen to: *speaks to my intense fear of fucking up my relationship because it would literally destroy me*

me, now: 🤡

[learnhowtosway]

Ask meme for people in their 30s

What was the first piece of furniture you bought? Likely our sectional.

What proportion of your meals do you cook? A third of the time on a good week.

Foaming hand soap or normal hand soap? Normal.

Favorite chore? Vacuuming. Crumbs and hair on the floor? Not on my watch.

Least favorite chore? Cleaning the bathroom.

Most precious thing one of your pets has destroyed. Sadly, I'm not currently a pet owner.

Any groceries you've been getting into lately? Umm.. gold kiwi is so much better than green.

What cleaning product do you swear by? We have a massive tub of Pink Solution.

What's your emotional support craft? Wish I could say I have one at the moment, but I do want to diy clay magnets and charm necklaces.

Youtube, cable TV, or streaming? Streaming and youtube because it's imperative for me to imagine what life could look like in another city.

What's something you saved up for and then regretted buying?Nothing comes to mind.

How many cups can you see from where you're sitting? Three.

Which filter are you most likely to go "eh, it's probably fine" when you find out you need to change it? Dryer vent filter.

How often do you take baths?Now that it's summer, way more often because I sweat quite a bit. Hate it.

Do you go down each aisle when you grocery shop, or only the ones you know you need stuff from? The ones I need stuff from, but if it's a smaller, gourmet grocery store then I can do a full walk around.

Where do you go when you need to get out of the house but it's raining? Staying in when it's raining is elite, but likely the library across the street or a cafe.

What's a movie you saw recently that you liked? My last five star on Letterboxd was Perfect Days.

Pro or anti tchotchkes? Pro.

What's your go-to tape? Scotch tape brand.

What's in your freezer right now? Just emptied our freeze, so an ice cube tray and ice packs.

Last concert you attended?Noah Kahan.

Favorite grocery store? Farm Boy and Summerhill Market.

Paper bags, plastic bags, or reusable bags? Reusable bags. I have multiple Baggu bags and recently discovered Shupatto bags.

Do you get your government mandated 8 hours every night? Hahahahahah, No.

Favorite old person activity? Browsing real estate listings and developments and their floor plans. NYT games.

Would you rather sit on the porch drinking sweet tea or sit by the lake drinking beers? I've never had sweet tea; as in, american sweet tea because apparently it's not what non-americans think it is. So as a Great Lakes resident, I'll say by the lake drinking beers.

Do you prefer Board game Night, Build-Your-Own-Pizza Night, or Movie Night with your friends? Board game night. Have you guys played Top of Mind? I think it's so fun.

Be honest, do you like all of the pictures of their babies that your friends send you? Yes, if they're my close friends.

Go-to holiday card format. Physical cards from a local artist or small business on Etsy whenever possible.

How many pairs of scissors do you own? One kitchen, one from a toolbox. I would like to own herb scissors as well.

Do you still own your first car?I'm a virgin who doesn't drive/own a car.

How do you take your morning coffee/tea? Numi brand genmaicha. Whatever beans Don has on rotation for pour over, with a bit of milk and brown sugar.

What's something you collect? Physical media: books, cds, dvds, magazines, vinyl, etc. If I could afford it, I would love to own vintage pieces of things that interest me.

What's your commute like?However fast the TTC or GO Transit decides to move.

Aisle at the grocery store you never bother walking down? The pet/household section.

Do you keep a daily journal or agenda? Tumblr is my journal; although, I fall off of it sometimes and have to catch up. I haven't used an agenda for the past two years, but I always use my google calendar.

Do you still listen to the same music you listened to in high school? To this day! TO THIS DAY!

What's the last filter you changed? Condo maintenance changed our furnace filter recently.

What little treat do you always get when you run errands? Some sort of beverage: matcha, coffee, boba.

Grocery list or no grocery list?Grocery list.

What's the oldest thing you own? A gold ring from my childhood.

What's an unjustifiably expensive appliance that you really want? Zojirushi rice cooker, La Marzocco linea micra/mini or Anza espresso machine.

Favorite book you've read recently? Nothing recently, but I intend to read Prophet Song by Paul Lynch next, which seems right up my alley.

Honest feelings on Settlers of Catan? Never played it.

What's something you wish you had more time for? Time with my friends. Nothing prepares you for the distances that occur from getting older.

What kind of stuff do you keep on the door of your refrigerator? Hamilton tickets, Psyche Revived by Cupid's Kiss and La Grande Odalisque postcards from the Louvre, a couple of polaroids, Alo menu, a calavera magnet from my bff's bachelorette trip in Mexico, Buvette business card from our last NYC visit, and a few city magnets.

Lamps or overhead lighting?Lamps. There's this affordable and super cute one from Ikea.

If you could build your home from scratch, what outrageous feature would you want to build into it? A library, dining nook, heated bathroom floor and towel rack, an infrared sauna, solar panels/energy efficiency, multiple fireplaces, skylights. I could go on.

Do you bring a bag with you everywhere you go? Certified bag lady.

Pro or anti throw pillows? Pro.

How many blankets do you keep in your living room? Two.

Did your relationship with your parents get better when you stopped living with them? Yes and no, and that's way too much to unpack here.

What's worse, the DMV or the Social Security Office? I'm Canadian, so I'm not familiar with the horrors of these places.

Do you decorate your house for holidays? Which ones?Christmas, but I also like seasonal decor, especially in the fall.

Favorite high-effort meal that you make? I avoid high-effort meals, so most are at similar levels. Maybe tomato soup and grilled cheese simply for having to keep an eye on the sandwiches.

Favorite low-effort meal that you make? Indomie instant noodles.

Do you tend to bring an appetizer, entree, dessert, or drinks to a potluck? Dessert.

What kind of bag do you use for your bag full of bags? A tote bag.

If you died and your ghost was stuck in the outfit you're wearing right now for the rest of time, would you be happy with it? Snoopy pjs? Sure!

Do you have an opinion on your local weather reporter? Haven't had cable tv in several years. Pretty sure he's retired now, but I remember he also did gardening segments, so he was cool.

Do you have a favorite brunch spot? Most frequently visited are Mary Be Kitchen for the weekender breakfast and Gold Standard for the best breakfast sandwich.

Where are you on the minimalism-maximalism kinsey scale? Technically 0, but acceptably 3.

Opinion on Bath and Body Works? It's a rite of passage.

Last time you visited a farmer's market? Last month.

Anything you're procrastinating on right now? Renewing my passport.

Do you get your taxes in as soon as possible, at the last minute, or late? As soon as possible.

Do you keep any stuffed animals on your bed? A Pochacco stuffed toy. A couple of Palm Pals on the headboard ledge: a moon for me and a BLT sandwich for Don.

Are your garbage bags scented or unscented? Whichever is on sale when we run out.

What are you looking forward to next week? I put myself on a waitlist for a free yoga class at a local studio. Us thirty year olds love free shit.

[kiwwia-wiwwia]

matt murdock songs and explanations pt. 1

most of these will be noah kahan just a heads up but I can talk about these for HOURSSSS. just me analyzing matt and some songs and making a verbal venn diagram.

song 1: No Complaints by Noah Kahan

I thought I had somethin' And that's the same as havin' somethin'

matt constantly, CONSTANTLY grasping at whatever connection he can get. foggy, father lantom, elektra, karen, claire... the list goes on. but i really see this as him and elektra. him desperately searching for goodness in her that may or may not even be there but he still so ferverently believes in her, that there's something there, something permanent, esp when he was in college.

I'd get mad at nothin', blame my dad for somethin' I pull no punches, then feel bad for months

he has. so much anger. towards himself, towards his parents, towards god... sometimes he just needs to pin the blame on something. him getting to worked up one night and doing more damage than necessary and then berating himself for it for months. got that Catholic Guilt fr

Mm, thought I was raised better, tried to fake better

impostor syndrome, anyone? he constantly feels like he's not what his dad would've wanted him to be and again, So Much Guilt is in that man. his dad didn't want him to be a fighter and that's literally All He Does. pobrecito hates himself so much for not living up to his father's expectations of him.

Tried to blame weather and escape better Hope the skin heals where the pain enters

GODDDDD THE SYMBOLYSM HERE. hope the skin heals where the pain enters. are u kidding me. i have never heard something more daredevil. the physical and emotional pain he's in constantly, the way that when things get bad for him he uses vigilantism as a form of self harm, especially in season 3 when he tries to off himself by getting those guys to kill him.

But I finally got sewed up I set a time, then I showed up Now the weight of the world ain't so bad

all the times he tries to fix his relationships. when he's destroying friendships left and right (foggy and karen), flaking on them, placing daredevil as his highest priority and then when he realizes he's being an ass he does his best to show up??? trying so hard to be better for them because they don't deserve the way he's been treating them, only for the cycle to repeat itself? oh my god.

I saw the end, it looks just like the middle Got a paper and pen and a page with no space

Him realizing every now and again that nothing changes, the city will always have a new threat and his work will never be done. everything stays the exact same. the end looks just like the middle. GOD.

I filled the hole in my head with prescription medication And forgot how to cry, who am I to complain?

he does self medicate, just not with substances. his drug is being daredevil. he gets frustrated? daredevil. sad? daredevil. angry? daredevil. that's his only outlet, the only time he feels like he's truly being himself. and that man represses so aggressively and feels like he has no right to feel the way he does. again, catholic guilt. "other people have it worse" NO matt. you are in hell.

And now the pain's different It still exists, it just escapes different And evades vision, makes the rain different Makes the news boring and my rage distant

when he gets bad, he gets BAD. mf is depressed. depressed squared. everything dulls around him, he's feeling things at an arms length.

Yes, I'm young and living dreams In love with being noticed and afraid of being seen

his playboy side loves the attention he gets, especially in college, but he's terrified of someone truly knowing him. sure, get close on a surface level, but he's so guarded about anyone fully and wholly knowing him. he's terrified of losing more people.

But I can finally eat and I can fall asleep It's fine, fine, fine

denial is a river in egypt. he's Fine, he swears. everything is Normal and he is Functioning. everything is FINE. but it's not. hes a mess and he's barely holding it together and the only thing he's trying for is the people around him so when he's alone because he pushes everyone away it's dangerous. he doesn't have to keep up appearances, he can just rot away and daredevil until he gets too injured even though he'll probably keep going after that.

thank you for your time this has been me psychoanalyzing my husband

[hyperfixatedonstuff]

Assigning Songs I Like to Scream Characters! (angst)

Roman Bridger: Pretty Boy - TV Girl, This Night Has Opened My Eyes - The Smiths, Class of 2013 - Mitski, Mr.Ranger - Kid Cudi

Gale Weathers: Hollywood Forever Cemetary - Allison Ponthier

Sidney Prescott: You’re On Your Own, Kid - Taylor Swift, You’re Gonna Go Far Kid - Noah Kahan, I’ll Die Anyway - girl in red, Pretty Girls Make Graves - The Smiths, Class of 2013 - Mitski, Seventeen - Sharon Van Etten, Summer Depression - girl in red, Family Line - Conan Gray, The Archer - Taylor Swift, Seventeen - Marina

Tatum Riley: Seventeen - Marina, Say Yes to Heaven - Lana del Ray, watch you sleep. - girl in red

Dewey Riley: Things to Do - Alex G, Somewhere Only We Know - Keane

Randy Meeks: Death Machine - AJJ, Michael in the Bathroom - George Salazar, Watching Him Fade Away - Mac Demarco, Ramblings of a Dying Adolescent - Current Joys

Stu Macher: Once More to See You - Mitski, Be Nice to Me - The Front Bottoms, Lone Star - The Front Bottoms, Snakes - McCafferty

Billy Loomis: It’s Only Sex - Car Seat Headrest, Destroyed by Hippie Powers - CSH, Tim Wish You Were Born A Girl - of Montreal

Mickey Altieri: Pretty Girls Made Graves - The Smiths, Balaclava - Arctic Monkeys

Roman and Sidney, Tatum and Dewey, Billy and Stu: Two Birds - Regina Spektor

[paladinbaby]

@creacherkeeper & @paladinbaby / @goetic-justice / naddpod / i know the end, phoebe bridgers / jenny holzer / coming soon, annie dirusso / orange juice, noah kahan / ocean vuong / @paladinbaby / jenny holzer

[Image description: a collection of ten texts mostly on white backgrounds.

1: A discord conversation. “lev - nettle is like i may be intelligent but what if i want to beat ass instead

but it's also like

the inherent violence of being a very smart but very lonely kid who's prided on their brain and not on their feelings so you grow up somewhat emotionally traumatized and then are like. what if i was simply ruled only by emotion and that emotion is rage and im not going to admit that it's fueled by hurt

faun - literally if nettle tries for even a second to move past rage then she has to confront that both the life she was living before and the life she's living now are deeply fucked up in separate ways

and she has to confront that like even her physical body is not the thing she thought it was

lev - literally what does nettle have to trust in right now. the world is not what she thought. her abilities are not what she thought. her own self is not what she thought. she has literally no grounding and more is being asked of her now than ever before. like that's so deeply fucked”

2: “Cats never understand that you’re helping them get their claws unstuck from fabric. They’re just like “you’re tormenting me at the worst possible time I hate you””

3: “The world should have protected you, but you have been asked to protect it. What an honor, what an injustice.” The text is highlighted in a light purple, with a reference number at the end.

4: “Drivin’ out into the sun / Let the ultraviolet cover me up / Went lookin’ for a creation myth / Ended up with a pair of cracked lips / Windows down, scream along”

5: A yellow plaque on a grey background that reads “protect me from what I want” in block capitals.

6: “Well I used to be smart and I used to be nice / Now I’m neither of those, but I’ve been feelin’ alright / And it used to be easy, just coastin’ through life / And it’s not anymore, but I’ve been feelin’ alright

I’m doin’ fine / Only losin’ my mind every once in a while”

7: “[Chorus] / Feels like I’ve been ready for you to come home / For so long / That I didn’t think to ask where you’d gone / Why’d you go?”

8: A printed quote, underlined in red pen. “So hello, hi, the blood / inside my hands / is now inside / the world. Words, the prophets / tell us, destroy / nothing they can’t / rebuild.”

9: “14. What keeps them up at night?

well where to start 😅😭i think nettle has lived a very solitary life and suddenly her entire world has been forced outwards in a way that in some places would actually be good for her if she let it be. So she had these two nightmares”

10: A letterboard on a white wall under pink lighting that reads “the breakdown comes when you stop controlling yourself and want the release of a bloodbath” End ID.]

thinking about nettle, my favourite normal guy

[sunnybugz]

3, 9, 10, and 16 for the music asks!!

3 : who is the artist you put on to make you smile ?

the mountain goats, ajj, olivia rodrigo, chappell roan, kimya dawson !!

9 : which artist has been the most life changing for you ?

are we going lifetime-wise? because if so it's 100% trixie mattel. i don't listen to her stuff a ton anymore (though i'm getting back into it hehe) but her music legit saved my life when i was fifteen and coping with my best friends death. it still means sooo much to me and always makes me think of her bc we saw her live in the front row when we were thirteen :'-) i have a signed cd from that show it was the best night of my life

if we're going recently tho definitely the mountain goats-- their music has inspired me sooo much in anorexia recovery and got me through a really bad depressive episode when i was 17/18 that i almost did Not make it through.

10 : you have to get a lyric tattoo-- what lyric is it?

OKAY i have a bunch though i don't actually plan on getting any of them (not a huge fan of mainly script tattoos-- words under a tattoo like my orange one are cool but im just not huge on mainly script)

all lights turned off can be turned on - noah kahan, call your mom

just stay alive - the mountain goats, amy aka spent gladiator 1 (i actually plan on getting a matchbook tattoo bc of this song)

if not by faith, then by the sword, i'm going to be restored - the mountain goats, hebrews 11:40

oh soldier, take your time - trixie mattel, soldier (i also might get a tattoo related to this bc it's SUCH a special song btwn me and said dead best friend)

16 : tell us the name of a song most people probably don't know but you adore

okay i have so many but i'll do like . a top 10 from my recent playlists .

1. broom people - the mountain goats

2. love love love - the mountain goats

3. temple grandin too - ajj

4. i'd have to think about it - leith ross

5. destroyed by hippie powers - car seat headrest

6. sad boys - dazey and the scouts

7. sweet cis teen - dazey and the scouts

8. getting naked, playing with guns - ajj

9. moving in place - shauna dean cokeland

10. best ever death metal band in denton - the mountain goats

PLS SEND ME MORE OF THESE

[justagirlwhowritess]

Inspired by Noah Kahan’s song “Growing Sideways”.

Pairings: Dabi x Fem!Reader

Genre: angst

Warnings: mha season six spoiler. Mentions of alcohol 

The anger comes in waves. He never meant to hurt me, I think. The doubt seeps in when the anger recedes leaving me to watch as everyone around me moves on. A career ending injury from a villain I thought loved me. Realizing I was wrong, the anger returned, a sigh leaving my lips as I packed up my final belongings from my locker at the agency. Refusing to cry at a place I used to call home I sealed the box and picked it up. I stumbled, almost dropping my box, stupid prosthetic got stuck on the bench. I’m not used to it yet. I have to relearn everything. I tried to remind myself as the tears and anger returned. A presence beside me ripped me from my thoughts. “Do you need any help?” The voice is calm, but laced with pity. “No, thank you. I need to go.” The words shook me to my core. “Are you sure?” he asks again. I sighed. “Endeavor, I'm fine, really.” He rolled his eyes, taking the box from me anyway and began to walk with me to the elevator. “Touya has always been terrible at expressing himself.” Endeavor spoke again. “Don’t. Don’t you dare defend him to me.” I spat as the tears welled looking at what was once my leg. I took the box from his hands and turned on my one good heel. “He said it himself, he doesn’t give a fuck about me right before he ruined my life.” the words took over before I could reign them in. Endeavor watched as I walked to my car, crying over my life, his son, what could have been. 

Weeks have passed since I left the agency. I believe my anger has been managed, separated at the least. Thoughts of Touya still plagued my angry heart. I haven’t seen or heard from him since that night. Shigaraki has reached out once or twice, telling me that ‘Dabi’ hasn’t been himself, drunker, harsher, more manic. I ignore them, trying to move along with my life as everyone else has. This new me, I'm unrecognizable, scared, running on empty. I don’t know how to be me without being a hero but I'm trying.

It’s a cool early summer night the next time I see him on the beach, maybe 20ish yards from me. My gaze falters, I look back towards the sunset ignoring him, hoping he does the same. “y/n” his voice brings every painful, impatient emotion rushing back, ripping through my body violently. Yet, I still don’t speak. He sits next to me, crystal blue eyes gaze at me, lingering too long on where my leg used to be, the leg he destroyed beyond recognition. I don’t dare look at him, the anger, fear, sadness would be too overwhelming. “y/n” he says again. I shook my head and stood up. “You don’t give a fuck about me, remember?” I spat my eyes never meeting him.

[peggyrose19]

back on my overanalyzing music bullshit

aside from the *everything* about boygenius’ letter to an old poet i wanna focus on one line. “you’re not special, you’re evil” there’s just something about the naive, innocent, heartbreak that absolutely destroys me. it’s not complicated or fancy. it’s simple, it says what it means, and it hurts. and phoebe has a way of saying it that goes straight to your heart. and then to follow it later with “you made me feel like an equal” stabbing me would hurt less

can i just say the line “i wouldn’t marry me either” may just be the most devastating line i have ever heard taylor are you okay

also i listened to ethel cain’s most recent album for the first time and all i have to say is: ow

i finally listened to five seconds flat all the way through and I REGRET EVERYTHING NOW. orange show speedway and chemtrails came for my fucking soul okay i am not okay. chemtrails is what i describe as a heartbreak song that would hurt less if it was about a breakup. it took far too many listens for me to register that and then i cried. it’s a brainrot song but it’s too sad for me to listen to for too long lmao. as for orange show speedway, well. we don’t have time to unpack *all* that. that would be a whole essay rant

anyway see y’all on the 9th when the combo of new niall horan and new noah kahan music destroys my fragile lil brain thank god i don’t have therapy that day that would just be too much 

[cedarwoodgroves]

it's the way i just KNOW orange juice is referring to the Noah Kahan song. like yeah "my heart has changed and my soul has changed, and my heart, and my heart" or maybe even a good ole "that the world has changed, don't you find it strange that you just went ahead and carried on?" i know i kniw

....yeah. I'm a Noah Kahan enjoyer and Orange Juice actually destroyed me the first time I heard it and therefore it had to become the catalyst for fanfic 💕💕💕💕

(If you're somehow stalking my Spotify the hour of creep by radiohead yesterday was NOT me)

[changing-the-narrative]

one of the hardest parts is trying to find the balance between not idealizing you and the relationship, but also not demonizing you and viewing the relationship as all bad. but my bpd brain can only seem to see it one way or the other. it has to be extremes. it has to be black and white. it has to be all or nothing. i just can’t find the middle ground. the balance. the reality. so forgive me for only being able to view you as a god or as the devil himself. for viewing the relationship as the worst thing that ever happened to me and completely destroyed and broke me, or the best thing that ever happened to me and ever will happen to me and nothing will ever be that good again. i don’t know any other way. and believe me, it is exhausting. and painful. and frustrating. and CONFUSING. and i’m sorry. i know it’s somewhere in between. i know we had a lot of good days and a lot of bad days. a lot of fights and a lot of happy memories. a lot of apathy and a lot of passion. a lot of times you treated me like a princess and a lot of times you broke me down. and i’m sure i did the same to you. as my good friend noah kahan once said, “i just like to play the victim”. i’m so good at it. but i know i’m not innocent either. i wanted to tell you i was sorry like the last 5x i saw you. and you did multiple of those times. but i never got it out. i’m sorry for that too. my walls are up so fucking high and thick with you. impenetrable. there were so many moments you’d tell me things and it would make me want to tell you something, but i bit my tongue nearly every time (and the couple times i didn’t, i wish i had). i could hardly bare to show even a drop of vulnerability to you. it hurt too much. and you didn’t even seem to notice. or care. that hurt too. i wish we could exist as each other momentarily and feel how it feels. how we hurt each other and how our brains work and i dunno. just have a moment to be able to deeply and fully understand. i used to think you understood me. i don’t think that anymore.

i don’t think that anymore.

[jerzwriter]

This list

Questions 12, 14, 26 Thank you

Hey Kyra! Thanks for the ask!

12. Do you have a dream car?

Not really. I like some cars more than others, for sure, but I'm not in love with cars. If I had an unlimited budget and could choose whatever I like? I'd probably get a Jaguar XE, maybe a Genesis G90. But that's going all out - I'd be a-OK with a new Camry. lol

14. Favorite songs?

God, that's a loaded question. I have so, so many. This is a brief list, but I could pick just one, and trust me, there are more. In no order:

One - U2 One of my all-time favorites, and it has one of my favorite lyrics, "Have you come here for forgiveness, have you come to raise the dead? Have you come here to play Jesus, the lepers in your head?" This song is always played on full volume.

Walk On and Kite - also by U2. Walk On has gotten me through some of the darkest days in my life, Kite is incredible, I want it played at my funeral.

Growing Sideways - Noah Kahan I feel like he wrote this freaking song for me. lol. It's amazing.

Abstract (Psychopomp) by Hozier I can't explain what this song does/means to me.

Take Me to Church - Hozier - this song changed my life

The Last Song - Elton John - has a very special place in my life, it reminds me of a dear friend I lost.

She Used to Be Mine (Sarah MacLaughlan/Waitress), Words Fail (Ben Platt/Dear Even Hansen), So Big, So Small (Rachel Bay Jones/Dear Even Hansen).

Déjame Llorar - Ricardo Montaner This song destroys beautifully.

And I totally went the weepy/meaningful route here. There are a lot of FUN and happy ones too... but we could be here all day. lol

26. Is there a song/movie that always makes you cry?

With the exception of Take Me To Church, like all of the above! lol

Others that make me cry? Tears in Heaven (Eric Clapton), An Innocent Man (Billy Joel), Better Man, Nothing New (Taylor Swift), Who You'd Be Today (Kenney Chesney), Call Your Mom (Noah), Again, I could go on all day. lol

Thanks for the ask!