#No I literally found out they weren’t 16+ like

[jimothy-salmonwich]

dude im so used to all of m friends being at least a year older than me (or younger) so I was at my boyfriends birthday party and the amount of people there that were my age that I got along with was jarring

[mcrdvcks]

not really sure if this classifies as a drabble or a oneshot because it kinda got away from me (it's literally 5k+ words)

anyways, i wrote this with my body type in mind, just because i feel like i don't really see it described a lot, and because i was feeling more insecure than i usually am, i wrote this.

(i'm a size 16, u.s. size if that helps anyone, or makes you feel less alone)

so, i wrote this! i hope it can help someone's day, and, again, maybe make you feel less alone :)

warnings/tags: fem!reader, oral (f receiving), unprotected piv, creampie, insecurities

---

You were always a bit self-conscious about your tits, without a bra- sometimes even with a bra- they sagged, and though they were somewhat large, you were also ‘too young’ for that to happen. But Logan loves to grab your breasts, which are bigger than his hands, and push them up like his hands are your bra.

Logan didn’t seem to care about what you were self-conscious about. In fact, he never let it slide. Every time you’d mention something about your body that you weren’t a fan of, he’d shut it down with a smirk and those rough, calloused hands.

“You think I care about that?” he’d growl, his voice low as he came up behind you. His big hands found your breasts again, squeezing gently, lifting them up like they were made for his touch. “These are perfect,” he whispered into your ear, his breath warm against your skin, sending a shiver down your spine.

When you first started dating Logan, he was hesitant to let you spend the night with him, concerned he’d hurt you if he had a nightmare.

But after a few months you finally coaxed him into letting you stay the night in his bed. At one point, Logan had traveled down your body, falling asleep with his head on your plush stomach, arm around your hips, perfectly fitting in your hip dip like it was an indention made just for him.

The first time he did that you got anxious, insecurities screaming at you to get him off your stomach; you weren’t exactly skinny.

You ran your hand through his hair and lightly traced your fingernails across his stubbled jaw, waking him up slowly. Logan stirred, his arm tightening instinctively around your hips before his eyes opened.

“Mmm… What’re you doin’?” His voice was rough, gravelly from sleep, and the warmth of his breath tickled your skin as he nestled his face further into your stomach.

“I didn’t mean to wake you,” you whispered, feeling your nerves spike again. “Just…you were sleeping on my stomach.”

He lifted his head slightly, blinking as if he was processing what you just said. “Yeah, so?”

You felt your face flush as you glanced away, biting your lip. “It’s not exactly the best spot…”

Logan didn’t move at first. He stayed still, eyes narrowing as he propped himself up on his elbow to look at you. His free hand came to rest on your side, fingers tracing gentle circles over your skin. “What the hell are you talkin’ about?” he said, voice low but edged with that familiar protective tone.

You couldn’t help the self-conscious laugh that slipped out. “It’s just… I’m not—” you gestured vaguely to your body, “—y’know, toned.”

His eyes darkened, and before you could even finish your thought, Logan was already shifting. In one smooth motion, he had rolled over so that he was hovering above you, his body caging yours in. He leaned down, his lips brushing against your ear as he whispered, “I don’t give a damn about that.”

You opened your mouth to protest, but his lips pressed against your neck, cutting off any argument you might have had. His hands roamed down your sides, fingers digging into your soft flesh as if trying to ground you in the moment. “You think I’m here ‘cause of how you look? Princess, I’m here ‘cause I want all of you.” He kissed the hollow of your throat, his breath hot against your skin, leaving you shivering beneath him.

“You don’t get it,” he muttered, dragging his mouth lower until he was back where he’d been—his face resting comfortably on your stomach. He kissed it again, lingering this time, his stubble scraping deliciously against your skin. “This? All of this? It’s mine. And I’m not going anywhere.”

Logan’s arm looped around your hips again, pulling you closer, fitting his body against yours like a puzzle piece. His head stayed on your stomach, refusing to budge as his fingers traced lazy patterns along your hip. His eyes closed, settling back into the comfort of being close to you.

He also loved your thighs, didn’t really realize it until he saw you wear leggings and sat down next to him, the fat expanding.

Ever since then, if you sat close to him, a hand was always on your thigh. When he was driving, he’d rest his hand there, giving you little squeezes that made your heart race. It wasn’t just about claiming you, though; it was his way of reminding you that he was there, that you were his, and he liked being close to you.

In a mission briefing? His hand would still find its way to your thigh, absentmindedly rubbing slow shapes on top, sometimes dipping toward the inner thigh before lazily drifting back up. It was comforting in a way, grounding. Though, every now and then, his touch made it hard to focus on anything else.

You couldn’t help but smirk when the others in the room would glance your way, probably noticing Logan’s subtle touch. It wasn’t like he cared. If anything, his hand would tighten just a little more, like he was daring anyone to say something.

And when you did go on missions with the team, your least favorite part was wearing the skin-tight suit. To you, it showed all your imperfections—your stomach, hip dip, all of it. You’d catch yourself adjusting, pulling at the fabric, trying to smooth it out, even though it never really made a difference. The insecurities always crept up, especially when you stood next to the other team members who looked effortlessly put-together in their uniforms.

Logan, of course, noticed. He always noticed.

“Quit fidgeting,” he’d mutter under his breath, standing next to you while pretending to focus on the mission briefing. His voice was gruff, but there was no mistaking the warmth in it.

You shot him a look, but before you could say anything, his hand slipped to your lower back, rubbing small, reassuring circles. “You look good,” he added, quieter this time, leaning in just enough so only you could hear him. “Always do.”

Despite yourself, you felt a small smile tug at your lips. Logan wasn’t one for sweet words or grand gestures, but the way he’d casually dismiss your worries—like they were so far off his radar they didn’t even register—made you feel better, even if you didn’t always believe him.

During the mission, you tried to focus, keeping your mind on the task at hand. But as usual, Logan had a way of being both protective and possessive without making a big show of it. He stayed close, not in an obvious way, but in that steady, grounding way that only he could. And whenever there was a moment of downtime, you’d catch him glancing your way, eyes lingering just long enough to make you flush.

When the mission finally wrapped, the team was debriefing back at the jet. You were exhausted, mentally drained from the whole ordeal, and your suit felt even tighter after hours of wear. Logan sat across from you, legs spread wide, looking relaxed as ever despite the chaos you had just gone through. He caught your eye and raised an eyebrow, giving you that familiar smirk that always made your heart race.

“C’mere,” he grunted, jerking his head toward him.

You hesitated for a second, glancing around at the rest of the team. But Logan wasn’t asking. He was telling. With a quiet sigh, you got up and made your way over, settling in next to him on the bench seat. His arm immediately looped around your waist, pulling you in close, his fingers finding their usual spot on your thigh.

“Better?” he asked, his voice low as he leaned into you, lips brushing against the side of your head.

You nodded, feeling the tension in your body slowly melt away under his touch. His thumb rubbed slow, lazy circles on your thigh, grounding you in a way only he could. It was like he had this unspoken understanding of your insecurities and made it his mission to quietly push them aside.

As the jet hummed beneath you, the team carried on with the debriefing, but you weren’t really paying attention anymore. All you could focus on was Logan—his steady presence, his touch, and the way he made you feel like maybe, just maybe, you could start to see yourself the way he did.

“Stop worrying about that damn suit,” he muttered in your ear, giving your thigh one last squeeze. “You’re perfect, and you know it.”

And you were; he loved how your thighs would squeeze his head when he licked and sucked at your pussy, his growl reverberating through your core. His rough, calloused hands gripped your hips, holding you still as his tongue explored every inch of you, teasing and relentless. The way you clenched around him only spurred him on, his mouth working faster, hungrier, until you were gasping, trembling above him.

"Fuck, you're so good," he muttered between kisses, his voice thick with lust, lips shiny with your slick. He loved how your soft thighs would wrap around him, trapping him there like you didn’t want him to stop—like you couldn't bear to lose the feeling of his mouth against you. And he had no plans of stopping anytime soon.

His stubble scraped deliciously against your sensitive skin, and every time you tried to pull away, overwhelmed by the pleasure, he'd pull you back down onto his face with a growl. His strong grip on your hips kept you right where he wanted you, forcing you to ride his tongue until you couldn’t think of anything but the heat building between your legs.

The way his tongue curled inside you, his lips closing around your clit—god, it was too much. Every brush of his fingers against your thighs, every growl that left his throat, sent you spiraling further into bliss. Your hands fisted in his hair, hips grinding down on his face as he devoured you like a man starved, never once giving you a moment to catch your breath.

When your thighs finally tensed around him, squeezing his head as you came undone, Logan didn’t relent. He lapped at you through your orgasm, groaning into your heat as your entire body trembled with release. Only when you were spent, legs shaking and breath coming in shallow pants, did he pull away, his lips curling into that familiar, cocky smirk as he looked up at you.

It had even taken Logan a while to coax you into sitting on his face—you had protested every time, saying you were ‘too heavy,’ worried you'd crush him. Logan's eyes would narrow at you, his rough voice grumbling through clenched teeth, "You think you’re gonna hurt me? Come on, sweetheart, I can handle a lot more than that."

When he finally got you to do it, his grip was like iron, pulling you down onto his mouth, forcing you to feel just how strong he was. His hands dug into your thighs, fingers pressing into the soft flesh, holding you there with a possessive firmness. "I want to taste you," he growled, his voice muffled between your legs, breath hot against your core. "Let go, darlin'. I’ve got you."

The first time, you were still hesitant, barely lowering yourself, but Logan wasn’t having it. His hands clamped down tighter, dragging you down until you were fully seated on his face, your thighs trembling around him. He groaned against your slick heat, the vibration sending jolts of pleasure through you. His tongue worked relentlessly, tracing every sensitive spot, teasing your clit, then plunging deep inside you. Your hands gripped the headboard, knuckles white, unsure if you could take the intensity, but Logan wasn’t letting up.

"Fuckin’ perfect," he groaned, his stubble scraping your inner thighs as he licked and sucked, savoring every drop of you like a man starved. Each time you tried to lift yourself off him, overwhelmed, his grip would tighten, yanking you back down, forcing you to ride his tongue, grinding against his face.

"Logan, I—" You barely managed to get the words out before a sharp gasp cut you off. He growled, pulling you even closer, his fingers digging into your flesh possessively. His tongue flicked against your clit, relentless, sending you spiraling into a state of pure, blinding pleasure.

And the way he’d groan when you finally gave in—fuck, it was like he got off on making you lose control. His arms around your thighs, his mouth working tirelessly, you couldn’t help but come undone, thighs shaking around his head, moans filling the air as waves of pleasure crashed through you. He loved how you’d buck against his mouth, grinding harder as you chased that last bit of ecstasy, his hands never letting go, keeping you exactly where he wanted.

He even noticed how you preferred laying on your back when he fucked you, not that he was complaining, he loved watching your tits bounce with every thrust. It wasn’t until you were on his lap one day, kissing each other fervently as his hand gripped the bottom of your shirt to pull up that you froze.

Logan noticed the hesitation in your body language as you froze in his lap. His hands, always eager to touch, had found the hem of your shirt, lifting it as his lips devoured yours. But the moment the fabric started to rise, you stiffened, that familiar wave of insecurity hitting you. Sitting up like this, your stomach pressing against his abs, always made you more aware of the softness there, the way it rolled when you moved.

His brow furrowed, sensing the change in your energy, but instead of pulling away, Logan held you tighter, his grip possessive yet gentle. "What’s goin' on in that head of yours?" His voice was rough, gravelly with desire, but softened by concern as his hands stilled on your waist, just under your shirt, fingertips brushing against bare skin.

You glanced away, biting your lip. “I just... you know,” you mumbled, trying to pull your shirt back down, embarrassed by how exposed you felt in this position. “I don’t look good like this.”

Logan’s eyes darkened, his usual gruff demeanor taking on a more protective edge. He shook his head slightly, gripping the fabric tighter, refusing to let you cover yourself. “Stop that,” he growled, his voice a low rumble that sent shivers down your spine. “You’re fuckin’ gorgeous.”

You opened your mouth to protest, but Logan wasn’t having it. In one swift motion, he tugged your shirt up and over your head, tossing it aside before you could even react. His hands immediately returned to your waist, squeezing the soft flesh as if he couldn’t get enough of touching you. "Every inch of you," he muttered, his breath hot against your skin, lips trailing along your collarbone, "is perfect."

Your stomach knotted with nerves, but Logan didn’t give you time to overthink. His hands slid down your sides, thumbs brushing over your belly, not shying away from the parts of you that made you hesitate. "Feel that?" he whispered, his lips grazing the sensitive skin just above your chest. "That's mine."

You could feel the heat building between your legs, your body betraying your anxieties as his touch ignited a fire in you. You shifted slightly, trying to ease the pressure, but Logan's grip tightened, keeping you firmly in place on his lap. "Don’t move, sweetheart," he murmured, his voice thick with lust as his hands roamed lower, thumbs tracing the dip of your hips. "I want you just like this."

His lips found yours again, more demanding this time, his tongue slipping into your mouth as his hands guided you to rock against him. You could feel the hardness of his cock pressing up through his jeans, and it sent a jolt of heat straight through you.

“Feel that, princess?” His voice was low, almost a rumble against your lips. “That’s all for you.”

You could barely think, your body moving instinctively, grinding against him, the rough fabric of his jeans only adding to the delicious friction.

Logan’s hands were everywhere—greedy, possessive, tracing the curve of your waist, the softness of your stomach, the roundness of your hips. He lifted you slightly, positioning you just right so your clit pressed perfectly against the bulge in his jeans, and you gasped, hips bucking against him. His answering growl was primal, his fingers digging in harder, encouraging the movement, guiding you as you rode him.

“You like that?” he rasped, his breath hot against your neck as his lips found the pulse point there, nipping at your skin, sending a shiver down your spine.

All you could do was moan in response, your head tilting back as his mouth explored the curve of your throat, down to your collarbone.

Logan’s eyes darkened as he stared down at you, your breasts exposed, nipples hard under his gaze. He groaned, leaning forward to capture one in his mouth, his tongue flicking over the sensitive peak while his free hand kneaded the other, squeezing just hard enough to make you gasp. The feel of his mouth on you, combined with the pressure between your legs, was too much. You could feel the heat building, the tension coiling in your belly.

“Lo,” you whimpered, your hands threading through his hair, tugging slightly as your hips moved faster, seeking more friction, more of him.

His grip tightened on your hips, his mouth releasing your nipple with a wet pop as he looked up at you, eyes wild with lust. “You gonna come for me, sweetheart?” His voice was a rough whisper, dripping with need. He rocked his hips up against you, grinding into your heat.

You nodded frantically, the pleasure building, pushing you closer to the edge with every roll of your hips. Logan’s hands moved to your ass, pulling you down harder against him as his teeth grazed your neck, his growl vibrating through your skin. The combination of his rough hands, the feel of him beneath you, and the sound of his voice was enough to send you spiraling into oblivion.

“Fuck, Logan!” Your body shook as you came, thighs trembling, head falling back as the orgasm ripped through you, your core pulsing around nothing, desperate for more.

Logan didn’t stop. He held you through it, grinding against you, prolonging the pleasure until you were a trembling mess in his arms. Then, with a wicked smirk, he lifted you off his lap, setting you down on the bed with surprising gentleness.

He had even come to realize that you didn’t necessarily like it when he fucked you from behind, making the same complaints about your stomach, and even the stretchmarks littered on your back.

But every time you brought it up, he'd just shake his head, muttering something like, “damn, woman,” under his breath, like he couldn’t fathom why you were so hung up on those things. He didn't see what you saw. Hell, he loved what he saw, and he made sure to remind you every damn time.

You were on all fours the first time you brought it up, hands gripping the sheets as he pressed against you from behind, his rough hands holding your hips firmly. “I don’t know, Logan,” you had mumbled, face burning with embarrassment, fingers twitching nervously. You knew he could feel it—the way your body stiffened, the hesitation creeping in.

Logan froze, hands tightening slightly on your hips, his body pressed flush against your ass. “What’s goin' through your head this time?” His voice was that low, gravelly growl you loved so much, but there was an edge to it this time. Protective. Frustrated. Hungry.

You shifted awkwardly, biting your lip. “It’s just... I don’t really like being in this position. You can see everything. My stomach, the stretch marks on my back, it’s not exactly—”

Before you could finish, Logan growled, his grip on your hips tightening as he pulled you back against him, his cock pressing even harder against your ass. “You think I give a damn about stretch marks?” he rasped, his breath hot against your skin as he leaned over you, his chest pressed against your back, lips brushing the shell of your ear.

“You think that shit matters to me? Princess, look at me.” He reached around, his hand wrapping around your throat, pulling your head back just enough so you could feel the heat of his breath against your cheek.

“Fuckin' look at me,” he repeated, and you could feel the demand in his voice, the raw, unfiltered desire. Slowly, you turned your head, glancing back at him over your shoulder.

His eyes were burning, pupils blown wide with lust. “You’re fuckin' perfect,” he growled, lips brushing your ear as his free hand slid down your stomach, fingers tracing over the softness there, the skin you were so insecure about, also littered with stretchmarks. “You see this? I love this. Every. Fucking. Inch.”

Logan’s hand moved lower, the possessiveness in his grip undeniable, brushing over your hips and pulling you back toward him. His body pressed against yours with a primal intensity, his cock hard against your ass, radiating heat. His breath, hot and ragged, teased your skin as his hand continued its exploration, fingers slipping between your thighs, spreading your legs apart slightly.

You shivered, caught between your own insecurities and the overwhelming desire coursing through you. The rawness in his voice, the way he handled your body like it was something sacred to him, pushed aside all the doubts clouding your mind.

His lips grazed your neck, voice a low rasp against your skin. “I wanna hear you say it,” he muttered, the roughness of his stubble scraping deliciously over the sensitive skin just below your ear. “Tell me you believe me. Tell me you know how goddamn beautiful you are.” His hand slid up, cupping your breast, thumb brushing over your hardened nipple, pulling a soft gasp from your lips.

Your breath hitched, the heat between your legs building with every stroke of his thumb, the way his touch ignited your skin. You were still pinned against him, his chest pressed tight to your back, his cock hard and insistent, nudging between your thighs, demanding attention.

“I—” The words caught in your throat as his hand slid lower, fingers brushing over your clit, sending sparks of pleasure shooting through you. A gasp slipped out, your hips bucking instinctively into his hand.

“C’mon, sweetheart,” he muttered, his mouth now trailing down to your shoulder, his teeth grazing your skin, teasing. “I need to hear it.” His other hand gripped your hip, holding you still, refusing to let you escape the overwhelming sensation building between your legs.

You could feel the weight of him behind you, the solid heat of his body practically burning into yours. He knew exactly what he was doing—pushing you right to the edge, but making you work for it.

“I know,” you finally gasped, voice shaky as his fingers circled your clit with just the right amount of pressure. “I’m perfect.” The words felt foreign on your tongue, but the way Logan growled in approval made it worth it.

“Damn right you are,” he muttered, his lips curving into that familiar cocky smirk against your skin. Without warning, he thrust his hips forward, the hard length of him sliding between your slick folds, not entering you, just teasing—enough to make your breath catch, your body aching for more.

Your back arched, pressing against him, every inch of your skin on fire, needing him. But Logan didn’t give in just yet. His hand stayed between your legs, fingers moving faster, slick with your arousal, while his cock slid against you, the friction almost too much to bear.

“Logan, please,” you whimpered, the desperation in your voice undeniable now. You needed him inside you, needed the stretch, the way he’d fill you completely, the way he always did.

He chuckled darkly, his lips brushing your ear. “That’s my girl,” he murmured, finally positioning himself at your entrance, the tip of his cock teasing your entrance. “You ready for me?”

You could barely manage a nod before he gently pushed you back down onto the bed, your face buried in the sheets.

Logan’s hands gripped your hips, firm but careful as he pulled you back against him. The bed creaked beneath you, but all you could focus on was the feel of his skin, warm and hard against yours. You were laid out, face down, ass in the air, and Logan’s body towering over you, radiating heat and raw desire. His breath ghosted across your back as he adjusted your position, pulling your hips up just a bit more, making sure you were where he wanted you.

“Fuck, you look good like this,” he growled, his rough hands trailing over the curve of your ass before he kneaded the soft flesh. A sharp smack followed, the sting spreading heat through your skin, making you gasp. He did it again, his hand coming down harder this time, leaving a mark that he admired with a low rumble of approval.

“You gonna be a good girl for me?” His voice was deep, that gravelly tone laced with hunger. Without waiting for an answer, his hand slid down between your thighs, fingers brushing over your wetness, teasing you. “You’re already soaked, darlin’,” he murmured, pushing two fingers inside, making you moan into the sheets. “Fuck, you feel so good.”

You could feel the heat of his cock pressed against the back of your thigh as he moved, the thick length of it brushing your skin, making your breath hitch. His hand disappeared for a moment, and then he slapped your thigh hard, the sound echoing in the room. “You like that, huh?” He growled again, the rasp in his voice sending shivers down your spine. “You want more?”

“Yes,” you gasped, pushing back against him, needing to feel him inside you.

Logan chuckled, low and dark, gripping your ass tighter, his fingers digging into your skin as he lined himself up with your entrance. “That’s my girl,” he murmured, his voice a rough whisper as he pushed forward, the head of his cock stretching you slowly, inch by inch. You moaned, back arching as he filled you completely, the stretch almost too much, but it felt so fucking good.

“Fuck,” Logan groaned, his hands still gripping your hips as he pulled back slightly, then thrust in again, harder this time, making you cry out. “You take me so well, sweetheart.” His pace was slow at first, each thrust deliberate, his cock dragging against your walls, hitting that perfect spot that made your toes curl.

He leaned down, his body pressing against yours, the heat of his skin searing into you. “You’re perfect,” he muttered against your ear, his breath hot and ragged. “Every inch of you.” His hand slid up to your throat, fingers wrapping around it gently, not squeezing, just holding you there, grounding you.

Logan's hips snapped against yours with more force now, driving you closer to the edge with every thrust. Your fingers fisted in the sheets, body trembling as his pace quickened, each stroke deeper, rougher, sending you spiraling toward your release. You could feel his cock throbbing inside you, stretching you so good you thought you might come undone right there.

“Logan, I—” Your voice broke off as his hand slid down between your thighs, fingers finding your clit, rubbing in tight circles, pushing you closer, so fucking close.

“C’mon, darlin',” he rasped, his voice thick with lust, hips moving faster, harder, his cock slamming into you with a relentless rhythm. “Let go for me.”

And you did. The orgasm hit you like a freight train, your body shaking, thighs quivering as you came around him, a broken moan spilling from your lips. Logan groaned, his grip on you tightening as he fucked you through it, chasing his own release. His hips snapped against you one last time, deep and hard, before he came with a low, guttural growl, spilling inside you.

He stayed there for a moment, buried deep, his chest heaving as he caught his breath. Then, slowly, he pulled out, collapsing next to you on the bed, his arm looping around your waist to pull you close. "Fuckin’ perfect," he muttered again, pressing a kiss to the back of your neck as the aftershocks of your orgasm still pulsed through you.

It wasn’t a quick change for you, not like a switch you could flip and suddenly everything was better. But eventually you became more comfortable in your own skin, wearing clothing you always thought was cute but never had the guts to buy because you thought you were ‘too fat’ for it.

It started with a simple corset crop top during the summer, paired with high-waisted skinny jeans. You had stood in front of the mirror for a good ten minutes, turning this way and that, trying to decide if you could actually leave the house like this. The top hugged your waist, showing off just a sliver of skin above the waistband of your jeans, and for the first time, you didn’t completely hate how you looked.

Sure, you were still a little conscious about your stomach—there was nothing hiding the pooch like your oversized shirts did—but you also didn’t take it off. You took a deep breath, staring at your reflection for what felt like forever. The crop top was cute, the jeans fit snug, and you didn’t look as bad as you thought you would.

“Look at you,” Logan’s gruff voice pulled you out of your thoughts. You hadn’t even heard him walk into the room, but there he was, leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest, watching you with a smirk.

Your instinct was to cover up, to fold your arms over your midsection, but Logan was faster. He crossed the room in a few long strides, his hands finding your waist, pulling you close before you had a chance to second-guess yourself. His eyes roamed your body, taking in the outfit, and the way his gaze lingered made your stomach flip in a way that had nothing to do with nerves.

“You wearin’ this out?” he asked, his voice low as his fingers trailed along the bare skin just above your waistband.

You swallowed, nodding, suddenly feeling a little shy under his intense stare. “Yeah... I thought I’d try something different.”

Logan’s smirk widened, one of his hands sliding up your back, fingers brushing over your spine. “Good. You look fuckin’ incredible, darlin’,” he muttered, his voice gruff, full of that rough affection he never hesitated to show you. “Shoulda been wearin’ stuff like this a long time ago.”

You flushed, trying to shrug it off. “It’s just... different, you know? I’m still not totally comfortable.”

Logan’s grip on your waist tightened, pulling you closer until your chest was pressed against his. “Well, get comfortable,” he said, voice firm but soft, his eyes locking with yours. “You’ve got nothin’ to hide. Not from me, not from anyone.”

He tilted your chin up, forcing you to meet his gaze. “You’re beautiful. All of you. Don’t need to cover that up with baggy clothes anymore.”

A warmth bloomed in your chest, the way it always did when Logan looked at you like this—like he couldn’t believe his luck, like you were the most incredible thing he’d ever seen. And slowly, you started to believe him.

With a small smile, you leaned into him, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “Thanks, Lo,” you murmured, feeling a little more confident with his arms around you.

He grunted, kissing you back with a little more heat, his hands roaming up your sides before settling on your hips. “Don’t thank me, sweetheart,” he growled, pulling you closer, his breath hot against your ear. “Just wear the damn top and make everyone else jealous.”

You laughed softly, shaking your head at him, but the butterflies in your stomach wouldn’t settle. He gave you one last lingering look before stepping aside, his hand slipping down to give your ass a playful squeeze as you both headed for the door.

[kaisaerinlover]

rin nii and sae nii

darkcon , incest , aged up

pls don’t read if you don’t like darkcon

to sae, rin isn’t competition. to rin, everything the two have been doing that’s the same since he was 16 and sae was 18 is a big competition. one that he knows he has to win. he doesn’t want to let the redhead have anything up over him ever again. sae doesn’t care. sae is a calculated and cold man. rin is an erratic mess. but the one thing the two brothers always manage to share a value consensus on is their baby sister. sweet innocent you. it’s a shame you’re so innocent, or not, because if you weren’t you would know how disgsuting your big brothers are.

when your brothers are football prodigies, globally renowned for their talent, and both known for being extra secretive about whatever it is they have going on in their lives off of the field, being their little sister gets harder. your parents don’t like you as much, you’re the child who bore not a single fruit of your mother’s labour (literally and figuratively), you are the child who cannot bring anything to the table, whilst rin and sae both bring a feast and several trophies. you are you and your brothers are so much better. above you in every way. born with natural beauty and talent.

but they don’t share that corrupted view your parents do, not at all. you’re all siblings, you can tell from a single look. yet you wear those big eyes better. those long sought after itoshi lower lashes sit so much more dainty on your eyes. the eyes both of them hate and love to see tearing up beneath them. the eyes they had to pretend to ignore when they both left you to pursue their soccer careers further. it’s a shame really, even as kids you were a bit neglected by your brothers. a bit is an understatement. rin was a mean kid. sae just didn’t care. they never had time for a baby sister in their world, neither did your parents. your parents had rin and sae, rin and sae had soccer. so what did you have?

the answer is nothing. you didn’t have anything. growing up neglected yet miraculously sheltered from the world. your upbringing is the greatest gift of all though; a gift both the older two itoshis have learned to be grateful for. if your airheadedness ever was replaced by anything other than a dumb mentality they would secretly yearn for years. your aloof nature is a blessing. and they learned that as they matured, as they realised you’re their baby sister. the one they can do whatever they want to. the one they love in a way that’s so sick they wouldn’t even have careers if anyone had found out what was going on between the three of you. the rare occasion when the three of you are together with your parents eating around the table, as you sit between your nii chans cutting your food so quietly. as your parents shower your brothers with praise and compliments for their insane soccer talents. your parents are stupid, they paid so little attention to you as a whole, to your brothers as people; only to their achievements. now they can’t even see the growing rivalry between the two. the only thing sae will ever get competitive with rin for is your affections. but even then, every second they spend with you, both of them together with you, it grows their bond even more. but rin hates that; rin wants you to himself. rin is feral. sae could learn to be content with it though. maybe. if rin knew his fucking place.

the tension between them is always thick whenever you’re in the picture. as thick as it is with soccer. that’s saying a lot, considering their whole lives have been built around the damn sport. and you; god you’re sweet. sweet as sugar. more sugary and tangy than any delicacy the millions in their pockets can buy. and they want it, they want all of it. the only other thing that you could ever argue itoshi sae and itoshi rin could ever want more than glory and to prevail in soccer is to devour you whole. both of them know it. you’re so clueless to it all. like i said, how sheltered you are is a gift. no one normal would let this happen. no one would at all. but you do; you lavish in the attention your brothers nonstop give you to try and win over your pink heart wrapped in a ribbon and covered in stupid glitter because you’re a little attention whore.

when they both left you; you missed them dearly. they are your brothers after all. and your parents completely neglected you, rin was mean, sae ignored you; but they always took care of you. even if it was the bare minimum. they were still your big brothers. you’re a year younger than rin and 3 younger than sae. those are your nii chans. mom and dad had tried again for another boy. but they got you instead. and as rin and sae picked up soccer as a hobby, they felt even more disappointed. their disgust was malleable towards you. they didn’t even bother trying again. your existence was a waste. but your brothers couldn’t be more thankful that you’re a girl. couldn’t be more thankful that they have such a doting little sister. so diligent. so cute. always waiting there even after all those years of them being so mean. always clueless. your innocence is intoxicating. it really is.

rin and sae are competitive. sae could have shared before, i said it already, he really could have compromised with rin. but rin’s anger towards sae all those years ago has never quite died down. he needs to one up the eldest in everything; you’re one of those things. sae thinks rin is lukewarm. rin would say the same about sae. you would say it about neither itoshi as one fucks into your cunt and the other bites at your neck like it’s meat on a bone.

sae is fucking the shit out of you completely, he was always more rough than rin. for the most part. rin is gnawing at your neck now though, misdirected anger; you suppose it’s that way anyway. not that you have much time to think. sae itoshi fucks hard most of the time. he doesn’t want to feel this attachment towards you; he wants to fuck it away. he fucks you so hard it hurts. he’s always like that and it’s not fair. it’s not fair on you (because it fucking hurts), but most of all because the attachment won’t ever leave. sae doesn’t want to be weighted down by this stupid rivalry he has with rin over you, doesn’t want to be compelled to return to you more often than he’d like to admit. he feels something when he’s with you; so different to the years of emptiness and undiagnosed depression that swallowed him for the first while he was in spain. he knows it’s not fair too, but he can’t stop anyway when it feels so good. and you’re a whore for your brothers, no especially about it, you’re a writhing little slut for both of them.

and rin is desperately nipping at your sweet neck, trying to mark you as his. he wants to sink his cock into you as well; but this will do for now. you’re drooling all over, and he is too. your saliva mixing with one another’s and rolling down your plump tits as sae fucks into your sopping cunt. rin is biting as if he’s a vampire, you felt him draw blood a few times. thank god you have your eyes closed because both of your brothers have a look of pure focus right now. pure aggression. aggressive love is what they give you. you really adore your brothers, they know it too. and they abuse it far too much. they shouldn’t do this with you; you’re so sweet and docile. it’s so hard to resist the opportunity to take advantage of you. they still love you, but man you’re cute.

especially now, drool running down your plump pink lips, soaking your chest. mixing with rin’s. rin can’t help but to lean in and lick it up. “so good, so so good ‘mouto” he groans. and sae looks up from the sight of his cock slamming into your warm pussy for a moment just to provoke rin. “i’m making her drool, you’re just biting on her neck like some lukewarm dog” the rivalry is still there. rin just eyes sae up and down and spits out an insult back at him. “you’re disgusting, shitty excuse of a brother, at least i’m nice to her” rin’s words are laced with venom. sae wants to reply, but he’s hitting that sweet spot. so he just keeps fucking your worn out little pussy even harder.

“s-sae-nii- please- please- pl-“ rin just kisses your mouth to shut you up. he doesn’t wanna hear that shithead’s name out of your mouth. rin is pathetically in love with you, but then again, so is sae. “lukewarm, can’t even stand to hear our baby sister say her favourite brother’s name” sae’s words are cold, calculated to cut deep. and it works; rin bites at your lip extra hard. you yelp in pain and god that sound goes straight to both of their cocks. sae hardens inside of you, he didn’t even think it was possible. god their love and everlasting desire for you runs so fucking deep. he keeps pounding into you mercilessly, and he leans down a bit to massage your clit. “gonna make you cum, imouto.” and you whine into rin’s kiss. you’re so overstimulated right now. your brother’s weird competition over you makes for the greatest of fucks, it really does.

every slam of his hips, sae hears an erotic squelch. the squelch of your juices. he sees the trail of precum he left on your stomach earlier, and it just makes him plough into your swollen lips even harder as he massages your little clit. his breathing gets ragged as he’s about to cum, and rin growls into your mouth and bites at your tongue. you’re in heaven, you really are. and you finish. sae does too. and you cry out his name in rin’s mouth. which just pisses rin off even more. he wants to fucking kill sae. you squeal out the eldest’s name as he empties himself inside of your little pussy, little cum pocket for him. his warm cum dripping all inside you, filling you up to the brim. he pants and pulls out, and rin pulls away too. rin has your blood and his saliva around his mouth, sae has his bangs slightly down and sticking to his forehead. he pulls out and lifts up your aching legs a little to inspect your cunt. it’s all red and swollen from the brutal assault of his fat cock penetrating so many times, so hard, so rough. he squeezes your hole a little and watches some of his cum drip down into the crevice of your ass. the one he loves so much. how erotic. he’s hard again, but he plays fair. he gives equal chances. he scoops a bit of his cum and shoves it back in with his fingers. it’s his monster of a younger brother’s turn.

“you can have your turn, rin” sae brushes past him condescendingly and stands at the other side of your head, brushing his hand over your cheek in a way that is so deeply ironic considering the way he just ravaged your pussy. you would be grateful for rin taking his place, rin usually shows you nothing but love and care whilst he fucks you. but not now, all three itoshi siblings are beautiful, rin is not an exception to the itoshi beauty. he looks a bit deranged though, saliva and blood around his mouth. tongue out trying to lap up the remnants. his bangs covering his eyes partially. eyes looking hungry and mad. sae just inspects the marks rin has left around your tits and neck as rin takes his precious place infront of your pussy. god, he’s even mad just seeing sae’s cum on you. he’s so fucking pissed off. he wants you deeply, in a way that’s so feral it’s insane.

sae observes all of the bruises on your neck, and he feels something shift within him. he wants to cover them with his own. he really only feels this way when it comes to you. only deeply cares about one upping his younger brother when it comes to you, because he knows rin is the same. he leans in and pecks your lips gently as he hears rin fumbling desperately with his own pants trying to pull them down fast enough to be able to sink his cock deep inside of the sweet retreat of your pussy. sae is looking off a bit at the wall on the other side of the hotel bedroom as he’s thinking. are they bad brothers? he knows they are, he doesn’t even need to ask himself such a stupid question. every single one of your firsts was claimed by them. first hand holding. first kiss. first date. first heart break when they both left you. he remembers the look in your eyes, rin does too. they even both took your virginity first. he doesn’t think you’ve ever had another man, none that either brother knows of anyway; but he trusts that you haven’t. you’re devoted to your older brothers, you love them so much. and they love you too, they really fucking do. sae is still stroking your head gently until he feels it push against his hand a bit as rin pushes your legs and positions himself to slam into you.

and when he finally does, god, it hurts even more than when sae was fucking you. you can’t tell if rin is rougher, if it’s because sae already hurt you so much, or if it’s a combination of the both. you can’t care though. “nii-chan- ‘s too rough” you cry out almost instantly. and your cry just leads to sae sticking his fingers in your mouth. “shhh, suck.” and you do. rin can’t even talk at the moment. god, his little sister’s pussy never ever fails to deliver nothing short of ecstasy to him. his tongue is out and he’s gripping the bed next to your hips so tightly. every vein on his large hand is bulging so much. he’s in heaven, he really is, right now it’s not about one upping sae, it’s about fucking you so hard. misplaced anger like i said. he thrusts into you so much and all you can do is whine around the finger sae has pushed into your mouth. every thrust you’re scared he’s about to split you in half. every time he hits your womb. evey single time he smashes into you with force that kills you. all he can do is incoherently ramble “gonna fuck you ‘mouto- gonna destroy- your little pussy- tiny pussy- fuck-“ rin is just babbling on and on. low and guttural groans and his nonsensical promises are the only thing leaving his mouth.

and sae is hard from your sounds too. he leans down to add a few marks of his own onto the growing collection on your neck. you’re like a canvas, a canvas where your brothers can nonstop add to you with their brutality or with their love. and you like that, you like being their little plaything, their princess, their masterpiece, their baby sister. you really do. sae bites at your neck, less feral than rin did; he bites in a way so precise and exact, calculated perfectly to leave the marks he intends to. and rin is just slamming into you with no sense of rhythm or strength at all. you just know it hurts. it hurts so fucking good. eventually sae has had enough of marking you, he just sighs as your body still rocks against his hand as a result of rin’s brutal thrusting. he pulls out his cock again and brings it to your lips. “just lick it a bit, don’t need to suck” and you do. you hold your small hand up to steady his cock enough for you to leave a cute kitten lick on it. and rin is still thrusting into you, making you cry out each time. his hands fully gripping onto your little waist. “gonna give you a mouth full of cum, little sis.” sae warns. or is it really a warning? it’s more of a promise. and you try and reply the best you can. the best a human possibly could with a monster like itoshi rin mangling their insides with his cock. “k-kay- nii- cha-“ sae just erotically rubs his cock on your plump lips a bit, and starts jerking off above your face. it’s sick really, getting off on your sister’s ruined face. but they’re both sick and it was accepted years ago already, no point in dwelling on something that was established by both brothers years ago already.

being the centre of both brother’s affections feels good, good beyond words that can even be used right now. there isn’t enough words in a dictionary to describe it. even if you used every language and every synonym of every single word, every comparison, every metaphor, every single technique, nothing could come close to the feeling of bliss and contentment you feel. rin is still fucking you hard, drool dripping all over your stomach and cunt as he fucks you as if his goal is breaking you. sae is jerking off over your face, sometimes pressing his fat cock on your lips, rubbing between them tauntingly. cooing down at you, cooing the way you would to your sister had she gotten hurt, had she done something cute. not this. but it’s okay, none of you care so don’t think about it. not that you can use your head much right now anyway, all you can think of is your brother’s. and that’s the sad yet also joyous truth. the truth that neither brother can win. the only way the competition will end is if they come to terms with the fact that it can’t ever be settle; that when it comes to your big brothers, there’s never going to be a second best. they’re both the same. the only second best is every other man that could ever possibly try and talk to you. not rin, not sae, they’re the best you could ask for. they should accept that neither will prevail, that they have to share, that they should give in already, that they’re both the winners of your heart, but each stroke of sae’s cock over your face and every thrust of rin’s hips you are reminded that it will be a long while before they ever come to terms with that.

you’re so close again, sae is so close again, rin is so close again. all three of you are about to cum, you’re about to be marked for a second and third time tonight. rin gets more and more erratic, sae just bends down to kiss your head again before pushing his cock somewhat past your lips into your whining mouth. you can’t even talk. you couldn’t if you tried, because it’s just too much. you wouldn’t have any words anyway. your nii chans are showering you with the attention you deserve and have deserved since you were a little kid. all those years of neglect mean nothing now that they’re both giving you the highest level of attention a man can give to a girl of your calibre right now. and you love it. sae finally fills up your mouth with cum. rin finally spills inside of you as well, filling you even more than what you deemed possible, past the brim, to the point of explosion. your stomach is probably bulging right now. and you finish too. your pussy throbs in pleasure.

all three of you pant and try and catch your breath, and you choke a bit on sae’s cum. and both of their heads snap up in concern. rin looks at sae menacingly as he sits you up and helps you swallow it all down. “good girl f’ me, ‘mouto, so good” sae praises as you finally manage it all down. and rin snaps at him “get off of her, fucking idiot” all you do is pant and try to sit up to stand. you need a glass of water, seriously. but the moment you push yourself up to stand, you simply crumple to the floor. they really did a number on you. rin and sae’s cum drips down the inside of your thigh, and both of them look at you again with concern. rin grabs you under the arms and sits you on the bed. “careful, baby sis” he mumbles and tucks your hair behind your ear. both brothers are awfully competitive over you, but you’re also one of the areas where they can actually agree on. they need to take care of you. and that’s exactly what they do.

you’re laid in the middle of the bed, wearing one of rin’s jersey’s, hair tied up with one of sae’s hair ties, sae’s socks on. you’re fast asleep. you look so cute and innocent, no, you are so cute and innocent. bundled up in a blanket they both got for you as a gift when you were all just a little younger. rin is looking down at you and rubbing your head, combing his fingers through your hair, and sae is scrolling on his phone. he brings a glass of expensive champagne to his mouth and takes a drink, before resuming his scrolling. “we did a number on her, didn’t we?” he comments to rin without looking up from his phone. rin doesn’t have the energy to be snarky back. he just nods (even though sae can’t see it) and replies. “a bit, yeah”

rin sighs a bit. he looks at the ceiling. the plain white ceiling of the overpriced hotel room you’re all staying in. there was another bed, but they’d just fight over who gets to sleep next to you anyway. it’s offseason, so they both spent time with you. but it’s swallowing rin up knowing he’s going to have to leave you soon. rin was never good at goodbyes. sae was though. sae was always awfully expert at them. rin doesn’t know how he can be so cold, not only to him but to you. he remembers it from when you guys were kids. maybe spain changed him, football changed rin too. they both changed so much for the worst. the only thing that keeps any semblance of goodness within the two men is their baby sister. rin doesn’t want to leave you, he wants to bring you with him. both brothers play soccer in europe. he wishes he got into re al secretly. not to play with his shitty brother (even though it’s secretly a truth) but so both of them could agree on bringing you with them and they’d never have to part from your pretty face again.

do they really have to leave you? probably, there’s a lot of shitheads in europe that there isn’t really back home. he doesn’t want any of those people interacting with you.

sae is thinking the same thing, but it’s unfortunate. there’s someone back in re al already who knows about the weird relationship both itoshis have with their baby sister. michael kaiser. sae supposes him and rin can take turns, if they ever brought you there. rin is in france, he is in spain. it cant be that bad. they could just take turns. they should.

it’s so difficult, whatever you guys have going on. and sae feels bad for letting anyone else catch on. but kaiser won’t tell. he just wants to meet you too. sae isn’t that possessive. he supposed he’ll allow it. it’s one of the reasons he tries so hard to detach from you. your polaroid in the back of his phone that he stares at too longingly sometimes must have given him away. and every other trinket he has of you to preserve your memory.

rin is the same.

the itoshi brothers just long for you, whenever and wherever. and it’s going to be their downfall. it fucking sucks loving you this much, being in a competition that can’t ever be settled no matter what. it sucks being so immoral and corrupt that they feel this way. they feel disgusted with themselves sometimes, rin a little more than sae. but sae has his own fair share of qualms about himself that he suffers deeper with than rin. it’s just a big mess. but when rin strokes your head one more time and sae puts his phone down to stop scrolling and do the same, and simply admire your face, they both know it’s worth it. they would watch the whole world burn for you, the youngest itoshi.

it’s not normal to love your sister in this way, they know it’s not. but you’re so cute, so innocent. soccer is depressing. it’s not all fun and games. they’re both broken beyond repair in their own ways, but you serve as a nice little bandaid for their scars and woes. for all the troubles brought on by soccer. for their depleting mental health. for sae’s nonchalance, sae’s emptiness. for rin’s constant self loathing and inferiority complex when it comes to sae.

they both want to thank you for being there for them in the most innocent and disgusting ways.

[quirekey]

Hello can you make a headcannon with Orion and d-16 with a femme mining bot who has over controlling guardians? Not letting her go out too much and only for work. This means no boys either. Would they sneak her out? Sneak in? How would they’re relationships be?:3

EHEHE I love this concept, her parental figures being controlling and stuff is such a fun one

[ ORION PAX ] x [ D16 ] x [ FEMME!READER ]

[ orion pax x d16 x cybertronian!femme!reader ]

HEADCANONS

- You, D16 and Orion were really close, like to the point where ‘kissing the homies’ seemed romantic between the 3 of you. You guys hung out a lot when you were on break, just chatting and joking around. You guys were like friends with romantic strings attached, afraid that a relationship may cause some problems with their jobs.

- Your guardian (or father) was a high-guard, so he knew where you were and what you were doing quite often. He was extremely strict and he always said it was to ‘protect’ you. He never let you add anything to your schedule, never brought you so those fun celebrations and most of all, did not allow mech-friends. Though you understood, there weren't many femmes and also you loved Orion and D16, so you weren’t gonna leave them.

- When your guardian found out about your ‘friendship’ with Orion and D16, he was absolutely furious. The moment he saw you hanging out with the 2 was the reason why you sometimes have to do double-time in the mines.

- You don’t usually stand up to your guardian, he can literally offline you and there will be absolutely no consequences, so you prefer to just go with it. You do rebel every so often though, ringing your audio receptors out or just dismissing his lectures.

- D16 is pissed at your guardian. All he wanted to do is hang out with you. He understood where your guardian was coming from because of the harsh job his daughter had. He has many urges to talk to your guardian, but he’s too afraid to. He wanted to get along with him, not confront him.

- Orion Pax does try to talk to father quite often. Orion says that he will ‘confront’ your father then casually has a fight with him a klick (minute) later. You and D16 just watch Orion Pax get his life beaten out of him. Luckily your guardian doesn’t go that far and just gives him ‘a few soft punches’.

- D16 and Orion do have each other when you're gone. Though they are able to cope whenever you're gone, not having you is literally like an incomplete sandwich. It’s sad and it just doesn’t feel right, you need all of the ingredients or it will taste wrong. They both talk about you quite often when you are gone too.

- Sometimes D16 forces both himself and Orion to come with you when you have double shifts to accompany you. You are extremely grateful for their presence. Somehow your guardian doesn’t find out, I guess he’s a busy high-guard?

[firebunnylover]

My Thoughts on Orion trying to stop D-16 from the murdery stuff.

I think there’s been enough time to think over the writing choice of Orion trying to stop D-16 from killing Sentinel. Time to whack the hornet nest of internet opinions.

Now I think it’s fair to say that plenty of people have pointed out that the autobots do murder several other bots in the film and so Orion’s attempt to stop Dee from killing SP seems hypocritical. And I can certainly see why people are coming to that specific conclusion.

And plenty of us agree the death scene was cathartic.

HOWEVER.

Let’s look at Orion’s current perspective regarding Dee’s state of mind.

He has been watching his friend go down the path of unapologetic violence fast since they found out the truth. Like, alarmingly fast. And that path is quickly becoming more of a sheer drop off a cliff.

While OP, Elita and Bee were ecstatic about being able to transform, what do we see Dee laugh over?

Being able to inflict damage onto another bot.

And we can’t forget the oh-so-woobie-of-continuities Starscream, who Orion had to tell Dee not to kill when the murder canon was activated.

That isn’t the Dee Orion knew. Orion is watching Dee turn into something he doesn’t know anymore. He’s afraid of losing D-16 to whatever he’s becoming.

To Orion, keeping Dee from publicly executing Sentinel was an attempt to keep him from spiraling further.

Unfortunately, just having good intentions don’t always cut it. And he really could have said it in a better way.

But to be fair, it had been a long miserable trip for the both of them, so Orion probably wasn't able to think that out 100%.

Another point I want to make is the comparison to B-127/Bee, who had been cutting bots with his knifehands. Granted, I’m pretty sure they were just intended to be Drones/Enforcers, as they resemble Vehicons. Which, in beast wars, were intended as bots who were mass produced and mindless. Which I think Sentinel would have preferred to have as his followers. Literal mindless/sparkless soldiers to follow his every word would probably be easier to handle.

This is Steve Slander I’m so sorry.

Continuing on.

There are a few points I want to make on B-127’s treatment of the violence. First, to me, Orion didn’t seem too comfortable with how hyped Bee was getting with his new weapons, and did intervene to keep him from cutting down more Drones.

And more importantly, he stopped trashing the broadcast room when told that the bots there weren’t the enemy.

Bee managed to do some self-control. Which I think is important to keep in mind when comparing him to Dee/Megatron

One more thing to note.

Something that I have said before in an earlier post after my initial viewing of the movie.

It wasn’t the violence itself that was the ultimate act of betrayal in the end though.

It was picking violence over saving someone.

oh it hurts

Orion jumped in the cannon’s way. Probably thinking that seeing him would give Dee enough reason to stop. But there wasn’t any pause until after the trigger was pulled. @everestentertainments pointed this out in their own post

D-16 does catch the injured Orion. He could have tried to save him, even if it was futile.

But he decided to let him fall instead.

Thus finally transforming into Megatron.

Killing Sentinel wasn’t the final step to the transformation and his fall from grace. It was the first act as purely Megatron.

And don’t forget that after taking the cog, Meg’s next act is to burn everything down, taking no regard for anyone who might get caught in the crossfire. Which is a yikes.

They probably could have made those points more obvious or could have been handled better somehow, but those are my thoughts.

[42spideys]

TEDDY BEAR — e-42!miles morales x m!reader

synopsis: some miles hc’s about him dating a cute chubby boy and how he is with him!

pairing: earth 42 miles morales x male reader, earth 42 miles morales x black male reader

tags: m.reader, fluff, slightly suggestive, possessive miles, really intense love from miles

notes: IM GOING THROUGH BRAINROT OUGHHHH I LOVE U MILES

when you and miles got together it was a shock to everyone, especially you. you weren’t the most talkative person, ridiculously shy, but he still found himself drawn to you.

you were the cute chubby boy that he sat next to, he liked to sneak glances at you. enjoying who your cheeks puffed out when you were confused on a question, his favorite is when you give his arm a small tap and try to ask for help. he always teases you when this happens, he can’t help himself, you’re just to cute :((

you pouted at the math equation in front of you, you tried 16 different ways to solve it until you finally gave up. you glanced over to your seat partner, miles, he always made your face heat up. you chewed on your bottom lip, trying to hype yourself up to ask him for help in a way that was comfortable for you. you tapped his arm with a shaky hand, he tilted his head towards you with hooded eyes filled with boredom.

you almost forgot what you wanted to ask him, the way the sun bounced off his body, making him glow almost like an angel. everything about him was perfect to you, his eyes, his nose, his lips…you felt yourself get lost.

“focus, guapo, what did you tap me for,hm?” you felt your face burn in embarrassment, you slid the piece of paper towards miles with a pout, pointing at the question you were fighting for you life for.

cute. you were always really, really cute.

he follows you around the school, kinda like a bodyguard. you were happy to have him for company, he knew that you didn’t talk unless you either wanted to or had to, so when you guys were together he would do all the talking for you.

he is so protective over you even before you guys get together, glaring at people when they look at you funny, outright pulling you away from situations he finds weird.

and he’s so so jealous…

you could be in a one sided conversation with another student, giving small “mhms!” once and awhile, miles literally wrapped an arm around your shoulders and just walked away with you.

when you whine at him he’ll just give you a “she was talkin to you funny, don’t fall for that, rey.” you groaned a fake annoyance at him before giggling at his small pout.

and when you guys finally get together

he is going CRAZY

spoiling you with art of you, buying you your favorite snacks, little stuffed animals, cute collectibles, and so much more.

you’re his prince and he has to treat you like so! he won’t have it any other way >:(

“miles!? what the hell, you shouldn’t have gotten me this stuff! how much was-“ miles silenced you with a soft kiss to your lips, you whined at the contact. miles pulled away from your wet puffy lips with a smirk, “i’ll buy you whatever i want, you deserve it and so much more, so take it before i tackle yo ass.” you took the large bear and roses from miles arms, your face practically burning off.

miles was all giddy inside, he loved seeing you squirm and get flustered whenever he bought you practically anything. you weren’t used to getting gifts in the slightest, you barley got anything for your birthday and christmas, not that your parent didn’t care about you. money was just really really tight, miles knew that, that’s why he made it his mission to spoil you like you deserved to be spoiled!!

don’t let him catch you being insecure about yourself or saying anything mean about yourself, he will fr go off in disbelief

you’ll mutter something about, “i hate my tummy…i really gotta stop eating.” think miles wouldn’t hear that, but erm…

he absolutely did and damn near broke his neck trying to turn towards you, his face twisted in confusion

what do you mean by that?? who said you could say that about yourself??? do you want your ass beat or something?? (lovingly of course)

“the fuck did you just say?” miles glared at you, making you instantly shrink into yourself. you picked at your fingers, looking away from miles burning glare, “i said,” you heard him get up from his desk and walk over to you. he took your chubby face in his hand and made you look up at him, you instantly melted in his touch. “what did you say, hm? you talkin’ bad about my favorite boy?” “…i said i don’t like my tummy.” you mumbled, you heard miles give a laugh he only did when he was either about to fight or say something absolutely outrageous.

he sucked his teeth before pushing your back on the bed, he lifted your hoodie to expose your tummy, this made you shiver and pout at him. “miles! what are you-“

kiss.

huh?

kiss kiss kiss!

you start giggling as miles continues to kiss and bite your tummy, you tried to pull him away by his braids but he just bit you even harder leaving teeth marks. after he was done with his tummy attack he hovered above you, his gold chain you gifted him for his birthday dangling perfectly above you. “don’t let me catch you saying some dumb shit like that ever again, or i’ll find other ways to keep that pretty lil head of yours straight.” he cooed.

“miles, technically i cant do that because-“

“i will kick you out of my house.”

at first he really didn’t like physical affection, but after you guys made it official he would go crazy if he didn’t get to touch you at least 10 times a day

constantly having his hands or body on your or near you

coming behind you in the halls to wrap his arms around your midsection while getting his head in a nice and comfy position in the crook of your neck, holding your hands and locking pinkies with you, biting your cheeks when he got bored

always kneading your cute chubby tummy like a cat whenever he got the chance

he also loves your neck, like that’s top three on his list of favorite body parts on you. perfect place to leave hickeys and bites :3

“hold still, i’m not done.” miles has been sucking and biting your neck for what seems like hours, your neck was throbbing with pain, you still didn’t even know why he was so intense about giving you these marks. “miles, what the hell are you even doing?” you whimpered into miles ear, he grunted in accomplishment and had a huge smirk on his face. “give me my phone, let me show you my masterpiece.”

you handed him his phone in pure confusion, you rubbed at your sore neck with a pout. “jeez, my neck hurts.” miles chuckled at your complaining, “you could’ve told me to stop at any time, rey.” he unlocked his phone to go to his camera, he placed his hand under your jaw, lifting it upwards to the left. he made sure his hand was in the shot, the whole time he was taking pictures he had a smirk on his face.

“let me see what you’ve been torturing my neck for the past ten minutes for, please.” miles rolled over next to you and handed you his phone, “only because you asked so nicely.” as soon as you saw the pictures you thought you were gonna pass out, miles had somehow sucked his initials in your neck with a bite mark under it. you covered your face in embarrassment, quickly shoving your face in miles chest. “i cant stand you, how am i supposed to walk around with this?” you peaked up at miles who was still just smirking “that’s the point, i want everyone to know that you’re mine and mine alone.”

[achilles-rage]

Good Luck Charm: Chapter 16

college football player!buck x plus size!reader

summary: almost a month after the party, you’re hanging out with evan at his house, trying to get your assignment done.

word count: 2.6k

previous chapter

series masterlist

a/n: y’all thought i forgot about their assignment?? wrong. this is ANGSTY i’m sorry!! but the poll was pretty much tied and it’s short lived if it’s any consolation :// enjoy<33

warnings: mentions of cheating??, no use of y/n, fem!reader, race inclusive!reader

It’s well into November when you’re hanging out with Evan in his room, trying desperately to get the last few parts of your assignment mapped out. It’s not hard work, but with the way you’re sitting cross legged on Evan’s bed while he sits facing you on his desk chair, Evan’s brain is only focused on pouncing on you. You’re talking about the research article you found while Evan is staring shamelessly at your body, humming along with you to make it seem like he’s paying attention. You sigh and stop talking once you realize his head is a million miles away, and you close your laptop, raising a brow at him.

“Ev, can you not pay attention for, like, 30 more minutes?” you ask in a teasing, yet slightly exasperated tone. His eyes finally dart up to yours, and he gives you a cheeky smile as he shrugs. 

“Oh, I’m paying attention, princess. You thought you could come over looking like that and I’d just work on the assignment?” he asks, raising a brow as he looks down at your body again.

“I’m wearing leggings and a hoodie. I literally could not be more covered up.” you say with a laugh, setting your laptop to the side, knowing there’s no way of getting him to focus now. He scoffs, rolling his eyes as he stands up and stalks toward you on the bed. He holds out a hand once he’s in front of you, which you take. He helps pull you up, then puts his hands on your hips and pulls you against him with a smirk. You meet his lips as he leans down, your hands moving to his cheeks as you smile into the kiss.

“You’re a damn temptress.” he murmurs against your lips, which makes you laugh. You pull away, giving him a “really?” look, still laughing quietly.

“You want to take a break?” you ask, one hand moving up to run through his hair. He nods, humming softly as he feels your fingers massaging his scalp. He pushes you back onto the bed, and waits until your head is on one of his pillows before he dives onto the bed beside you, making the bed creak and bounce you around a little. He moves to lay practically on top of you, one leg thrown over both of yours, his arm draped over your tummy, and his head resting against your soft chest. He hums against your chest, sinking into you as you chuckle, shaking your head. Your hand goes back up to run through his hair again, and although it’s a little harder to breathe with his weight on you, you wouldn’t dream of moving. 

You stay quiet for a while, absentmindedly running your hand through his scalp before you break the silence, speaking before you can really think about what you’re saying.

“We’re graduating this year.” Your voice is barely a whisper, but he hears you anyway, and he hums softly, nodding slightly. He mumbles, “I know, it’s crazy.” and you nod along with him, starting to think about life after college.

“What are you gonna do after?” you ask softly, your words hanging heavily in the air as the implications of the question suddenly become a little clearer to both of you. You weren’t really sure where you were going with what you were saying at first, but now, it’s clear to you and Evan that you’re really asking “what about us after graduation?”

He raises his head, resting his chin on your chest as he looks up at you, eyes studying your slightly nervous expression. You know it’s a little much to ask; you’ve only known each other for 3 months, but you can’t imagine just going your separate ways once you walk across the stage.

“I don’t know, princess.” he tells you softly, not knowing what else to say. He wants to comfort you, but he doesn’t want to say anything that he can’t promise.

“Well, you’re gonna have your degree. What kind of work do you want to do with it?” He huffs, thinking about having to find a fulltime job.

“Honestly, I’m only here because my parents basically forced me to go to college. I don’t even want to do anything with the degree, I just did it to shut them up.” he tells you, resting his cheek back on your chest again. Your heartbeat and steady rising and falling of your chest help to calm him, and he lets out a silent sigh. You hum softly, frowning at his words.

“So, I’m guessing you’re not planning on going back to Pennsylvania?” you ask, desperate to know more. You’ve always thought about staying in LA once you graduate, and it would be perfect if he’s considering it too. 

“Definitely not. I don’t really know where I wanna go, or what I wanna do. I’m just kind of hoping it’ll hit me, and I’ll figure it out.” he tells you earnestly with a small shrug, squeezing you just a little bit tighter. All he knows is that he really doesn’t want to go anywhere without you. He almost laughs as he thinks about it. Before he met you, he couldn’t imagine becoming so close with a girl that he can’t bear the thought of parting from her, but now, he silently hopes that after graduation you stay together.

“Your parents live close to here, right? Would you stay around here after graduation?” he asks after a few moments of silence. 

“I would, but I wouldn’t take moving somewhere else off the table.” you tell him, and although you’re saying it because you know you’d probably follow him anywhere, you also welcome the idea of seeing new places. “So, I guess neither of us know what we want.” you say with a soft laugh, feeling a little silly for bringing it up.

“I know what I want.” he says matter of factly, giving you a wink as he raises his cheek off your chest again to look up at you. You feel your cheeks heating up as you look down at him, unable to fight off the smile forming on your face. He leans up and kisses you softly, like a promise, almost as if saying “we’ll figure this out.”

Once he pulls back, he gets up quickly, straddling your lap and starting to tickle your sides, hoping to take your mind off of the hard questions with no real answers hanging in the air. You let out a loud, surprised laugh, starting to squirm under him as you try to push his hands away. You cry out a breathy “stop, stop” as he keeps tickling you, a shrug on his face. Once he’s sure your conversation is forgotten about, he eases up, planting a big, audible kiss on your cheek. He admires the way your eyes crease when he pulls back, the dazed expression in your eyes, and how your smile is plastered to your face, and his heart swells. 

He gets up, mumbling a quick “I’ll be right back” as he leaves the room, keeping your hands together, dangling between you for a moment before he finally turns and goes to the bathroom.

While you lay on his bed and wait for him, you think about your plans with your roommate to go to a local farmers market tomorrow, and you figure you should start planning your outfit before you forget and have to throw something on at the last minute. You go to reach for your phone, but you remember it’s still on Evan’s desk, charging. You look over at Evan’s phone on the bed, and decide to reach for it instead, sitting up as you do. You only want to know the weather, and you know his password anyway, so you figure he won’t mind.

When you pick up his phone, you’re met with a text notification on the lock screen from Sabrina. You furrow your brows, thinking about when you met her a number of weeks ago. You can’t help the nerves creeping into your belly, thinking about how shamelessly she was flirting with him, and you can feel your heart start to race a little. You trust him, and you don’t want to do anything to make him think you don’t, but thinking about her texting him still makes your stomach churn.

When you swipe up to unlock his phone, however, the phone thinks you clicked on the message, so when you put in his password, you’re immediately faced with their conversation. You’re met with a picture of her in a bikini, posed at the beach, looking absolutely stunning. You suck in a shaky breath, eyes roaming over her slim waist, and her small thighs, and dread fills your belly. The only other thing you see before you hear Evan’s footsteps outside his door is her newest text below the picture.

Sabrina: heyyy, there’s a party at delta phi on friday. you going? ;)

You slam the phone down before he comes in, plastering a fake smile to your face when his eyes land on you. He raises a brow, taking in your unsure eyes and fidgeting fingers as you sit on the bed.

“What’s up?” he asks, closing the door and walking back over to the bed. You shrug, still smiling as he lays down on his side, propped up on his elbow.

“Nothing.” you say softly, looking down at your fingers, turning the ring on your middle finger, trying to slow the thoughts swarming in your brain. Were you just taking his “I know what I want” as something completely different? Was he acting so unsure with you because he didn’t want to tell you that he didn’t want to keep seeing you yet? Was he just a really good liar?

“What’s going on in that pretty little head, huh? Talk to me, princess.” He pulls you out of your thoughts, and for a moment, his soft voice almost works to calm your nerves. But then the picture comes back into your brain, and you feel like you’re going to throw up. You had slowly begun to let your guard down, opting to not suck in your plush tummy when his hands ghost across it, and not feeling awkward when he puts a hand on your thigh. You feel your insecurities bubbling to the surface again; of course he’s looking at her.

“Nothing.” you say again, a little sharply. He’s taken aback by your tone, and his eyes widen slightly, confused by your sudden switch up. “Can we please just drop it? I don’t wanna talk about it right now.”

He knows you, and he knows pushing you further will make you shut down even more, so he begrudgingly agrees, mutters a quiet “okay.” He turns onto his back and faces the ceiling, opting to stay quiet and give you a minute as you fall further and further into your own mind. He reaches for his phone beside him, and turns it on. His heart falls when he sees that it opens to his conversation with Sabrina. He sighs, sitting up and nudging your leg with his arm, wanting you to look at him.

“Baby, I-” he starts, but you cut him off.

“Why do you still talk to her?” you ask him softly, tears threatening to spill. You know you can’t be mad at him for talking to her before you started dating, but him still letting her send those pictures makes your heart clench.

“Will you let me explain, princess? Please?” he asks desperately, fighting the urge to touch you. He knows he should let you have your space right now; that pulling you into his arms would only make you more upset. You nod once, looking up at him as you chew on your lip anxiously. You can’t wait to hear what he has to say, but you’re also dreading it just as much.

“I still have a class with her. She still flirts with me sometimes in class, but I don’t do anything about it, I swear. She’s been asking when we should hang out, but I keep brushing her off, so I guess she finally got fed up and decided to text me again.” he tells you, eyes boring into yours as he searches for any hint that you don’t believe him. You listen intently, a tear finally escaping your eye as you reply.

“Why is she still sending you pictures? Why are you letting her?” Your voice cracks slightly as you speak, and you reach up quickly to wipe the tear from your cheek. He sighs, tilting his head to the side as his eyes soften. He clenches his fist as he tries not to reach out to you, finally understanding why you’re so upset.

“Baby, did you see the timestamp on that text? It was from August. Before we met.” he tells you, eyes locked on yours. Your brows furrow at his words, mouth going dry. You hadn’t even thought to check; you were just so focused on her. He opens the conversation and holds the phone out for you to see, and you see that he’s telling the truth. You feel so stupid, and you let out a big breath, looking down as you laugh weakly.

“I didn’t see that.” you say quietly, feeling more tears running down your cheeks, although you’re not sure why. He’s very clearly not cheating on you.

“Yeah, I guess not. Come here, princess.” he tells you, pulling you into his arms, hugging you tightly. You hug him back, sniffling softly, feeling extremely stupid.

“I don’t know why I’m crying.” you whisper, laughing at yourself. He chuckles as well, shaking his head.

“You thought you just caught your boyfriend cheating on you. I think a few tears are allowed.” he tells you softly, his tone slightly teasing. You laugh again, sniffling as you pull back.

“I’m glad you’re not.” is all you can manage to say as you look at him, leaning into his touch as he reaches up to wipe your tears.

“You think I’d do that to you?” he teases, but you can see a hint of seriousness in his tone. He knows that cheating definitely isn’t uncommon, but he doesn’t feel good about you thinking that he would, despite your reasoning being very valid. He relaxes slightly when he sees you shake your head, a smile making its way onto his face again.

“You haven’t given me a reason to. I wasn’t purposely looking through your messages. I was just gonna check the weather, and I clicked the wrong thing.” you explain with a shrug, looking down as you fidget with your ring again. You don’t want him to think you were snooping; you really don’t want him to think you don’t trust him.

“Well, I’m glad you trust me. Because I would never hurt you. And I know saying that means nothing, so I’m gonna keep showing you that. As long as you’ll let me.” he tells you earnestly. He leans in to rest his forehead on yours, and one of his hands moves to the side of your neck, holding you there.

“Yeah? Promise?” you get out in a teasing tone, although your heart is hammering in your chest at his words.

“Promise.” he tells you, holding out his pinky with a cheeky smile. You giggle and link your pinky with his, looking into his eyes until he launches himself at you and pins you against the bed, kissing you deeply.

next chapter

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[cherry-romper]

Just imagining a cat-kaiju fem reader in the Defense Force, like a catgirl, I wonder what would the interaction with the others would look like? Some might be romantic and some might be platonic, and the reader and Bakko is like super close since they’re literally cats lol

Yeah, I went so overboard with this. Been desperate for someone to request something like this! Thank you!

Warnings; blood, death and cats :3

Contains; F!reader, fluff

Word count; 3637 (im so sorry)

At first you weren’t taken seriously. Yeah, you were a Kaiju, but you had the semi-appearance of a cat, permanently; tail and ears included. You went from a respected defence force officer to a cat-girl, it was like some sort of joke.

Captain Hoshina found it hilarious. He nearly passed out from laughing. “Hey, L/N, do you think you meow too?” he had asked you through hysterical sobs. His reaction was echoed by a lot of people in the force. Not only that, but many whispers also started, rumours and speculation rose from the force and eventually word got out the public that they had a cat-girl on the force.

You became a celebrity for all the wrong reasons. The force had tried to contain the hysteria of the public – they were not aware you were a kaiju. If they were to find that you were, both you and Kafka would be forced to retire and be weaponised.

This caused you to sink into a depression. You had been training so hard, your suit output power had reached 27% and now you were viewed as a joke. Cat-girls were seen as cute and small. They meant to look sweet and pretty. In many ways, they’re weak.

Kafka thought it was awesome that there was someone like him in the field. He adored that he could finally confide in someone about what he was feeling, and they would actually understand him. Secretly, he thought your partially transformed appearance was cute. He couldn’t help but admire the way your tail swayed when you were annoyed, or the movements of your ears when you overheard something. The same goes for Kikoru. She knew how strong you were even before becoming a Kaiju, she had nothing but respect for you. Even so, she teased you, amused at you new mannerisms.

Still, the same precautions were taken with you as were with Kaiju no.8. You were taken to a facility and assessed by none other than Gen Narumi. He wasn’t pleased you’d interrupted his gaming; he’d already made his mid up you weren’t worth his time. Once again, you’d fallen victim to the cat-girl prejudice.

“Let’s get this over with,” was the first and only thing he’d said to you before he began his assault. He couldn’t land a single hit. Your reflexes matched his own, even with his kaiju foresight. His original estimations of your power were now overshadowed. “Uh huh,” he had said, looking you up and down in disbelief. Your fortitude? 9.1.

You stood defensively, your arms in the shape of an ‘x’ in front of your face, clawlike nails ready to parry Narumi’s weapon. You were only able to transform your eyes, ears, forearms and calves; you were on the defensive. You panted slightly, his attacks had been fast and heavy. Your human body wouldn’t have been able to keep up with him, but your Kaiju form took it with ease. Granted, Narumi wasn’t going all out, if he had he probably would have destroyed the testing room, you included.

A newfound respect formed in that moment. You were deemed Kaiju no. 16. Though it would only last if you showed him results. Gen allowed a trial run for you on the field. Given that Kafka was already in the First Division, Gen had you transferred back to the Third Division, under Mina Ashiro’s command.

Mina was secretly thrilled to have you in her division. You weren’t aware of it at the time, but many of her officers looked up to you, since you held your own against Narumi, so she was pleased you would be there to inspire. Hoshina also had some more respect for you, he was amused that you had humiliated Narumi.

Iharu, along the others, thought you were awesome. You were sung with praises when you arrived, they even through you a party. Swarmed by your friends, you were overwhelmed with emotion. Perhaps the first few days of isolation had caused you to form a narrative in your head that people didn’t like you. You yourself, had prejudices against cat-girls. But here, now, surrounded by such love and admiration, you saw that there was no room for such biases in the defence force.

During the party, many questions were thrown your way:

“What are your abilities?”

“Do always you land on your feet like a cat?”

“Can you see in the dark?”

“Do you eat mice?” – Hoshina

“What can you use your tail for?”

“Do you have paws?”

“Do you have fur?”

“Can you jump really high?”

The simple answer to all those questions was: “I don’t know”.

You hadn’t really had time to test out your abilities, nor had you ever fully transformed. Fear caused this, denial of it being real and resentment for yourself. Yeah, being a cat-girl is cool on paper, but you were a Kaiju. It wasn’t sunshine and rainbows as many people had been thinking.

***

Before being deployed in the field, you were to be trained but Hoshina himself. He needed to know your abilities in detail, so he could personally dispose of you if necessary.

Much to your surprise, Reno and Ihrau, offered to help with your training too. They wanted to help since you were their friend, but also wanted to see how well you could all worked together. Since they had experience fighting alongside Kaiju no. 8, it was approved that they would help with your training.

You first day was one-on-one with Hoshina. Today’s training was all about fully transforming. You had outputted a fortitude of 9.1. partially transformed. Now was your time to show off what you could do without being afraid.

Hoshina had told you “I’m not going to hold back. If I hurt you, that on you. Do everything you can to stop me. I want to see what you have to offer. Show me who you are, L/N.”

Once again, you could only partially transform. Hoshina slashed and slashed at you, but you parried him every time, your claws as sharp as his blades. Your internal monologue was doing overtime. Please was the only word you repeated, over and over again. Desperately reaching into the depths of your core to find the strength to fully transform. All the while, Hoshina’s blades rained hell on you relentlessly. He was in the zone, completely set on forcing you to transform, giving you no other option but to harden the skin on your chest as he triple-attacked.

Your chest now covered in white fur. You’re joking, you thought. Staring down at your chest you ran your hand over the fur. So soft. But how does fur stop Hoshina’s blades? Fingering deeper into the fur, you felt the skin beneath. Rock solid.

“So, you do have fur,” Hoshina mused. He took note of the sour look on your face, he figured out quickly there was a part of yourself that resented being a kaiju. “Stop.” His voice pulled you out of the trance you had been in. Confused you tilled your head to the side, cocking a brow at him. “You’re thinking too much about it. Stop. If you start thinking like that on the field, you’re dead.”

He was right, you had to pull it together and swallow your pride. At the end of the day, you were more powerful in this form, whether you liked it or not.

Now more focused than before, you got low, mirroring the captain, and mimicking a cat on the hunt. Good, he thought, she’s locked in.

You circled each other, prowling low to the ground. Your field of vision grew, making it easier to take in your surroundings. Your catlike ears amplified Hoshina’s breathing, you could hear his heart pounding in his chest. Your nose changed also; your nostrils took in Hoshina’s scent. It was almost like you could smell excitement coming off him. A low growl came from your chest, you felt your mouth twist and morph, a shining set of canines sit snug in your mouth.

Baring your new fangs at the captain, you snarl, daring him to come closer. The captain took your warning as an invitation. Faster than before, he dashes over to you, his swords shaving off bits of your fur. In response, you harden more of your skin, the fur now covering your thighs and neck. Your claws parry him ceaselessly, desperately trying to keep him at bay. Your enhances senses helped you predict his movements. He was fast, but you were faster. Using the strength of you legs you run across the wall, getting behind him. Raising your leg high in the air, you bring it down on Hoshina, but he is nowhere to be found.

You were certain you’d manage to switch the narrative. “Going from defensive to offensive so quickly?” Hoshina stands next to you, his blade to your throat, a glimmer of pleasure in his eyes. He sizes you up, a smirk growing on his face. “For a cat, you look pretty good,” he chuckles. Taken aback, you look down at your arms, they’re covered in fur. You gasp at the sight, clawing at your face to feel the same soft texture. Heat rises in your cheeks, your ears standing on end and tail wagging rapidly.

“I’ve never seen a cat blush before,” Hoshina teases, you promptly tell him to shut up, not before he begins laughing again.

You did it. You fully transformed. Fortitude? 9.8.

Still standing on two legs, your feet looked like paws. They were big but well rounded, the pads on the bottom were cushioned making it easy to travers rough terrain. Your calves and thighs were well defined, this added to your strength and agility; you felt like you could jump higher than the clouds. Your tail was dense and strong, it could easily hold up your weight if needed. You still had hair on your head, the same long hair you had before only now, it was a smokey grey. Your eyes were a beautiful ice blue and your fur a snow white, patches of dark grey spotted your coat. Looking up at Hoshina cautiously, you started “I’m…Am I…”

“A snow leopard” he finished. How amusing, he thought to himself.

Before the two of you could continue, Bakko burst through the door. The tiger kaiju mewled and pounced around, clearly happy to see another feline Kaiju. Bounding up to you, he rubbed his head against your side, licking at your hands. Blushing more, your tail came to cover your face, unsure of how to handle the tiger. Mina followed into the room soon after, worried at what he pet might do. Pleasantly surprised at the sight that greeted her, a soft smile grew. “Congratulations, Y/N.”

Pride swelled inside you. After everything, you could still fight along side the captain. Excited for what the future holds, you let out a sweet chuff before reverting back to your ‘normal’ form, your ears and tail still visible.

***

The following day you were set to train with Reno and Iharu. Captain Hoshina kept watch from atop the wall, while the three of you were to clear the training course.

“Alright! I hope you’re as pumped as I am, Y/N!” Iharu, lightly punched your shoulder, a cocky look on his face. “You too, Reno. Just know, I’m coming for you too,” Iharu chuckled.

You gave reno a confused look, one of your ears falling down. Reno only sighs, shrugging his shoulders.

“Okay gang, all you have to do today is clear the remaining Kaiju.” Hoshana’s voice rang in your ears, “Those being 5 yoju and 1 Honju, pretty easy stuff. You’re being assessed on your ability to work together and your efficiency at transforming. Ichikawa and Furuhashi, you are to assist L/N, you are not to take down the Kaiju unless absolutely necessary. This is a training exercise for L/N, don’t go getting too greedy now.”

Iharu let out a disappointed groan, “I was so ready to kill those kaiju!”

You understood, you’d never faced a kaiju in action, and as of now you’ve only transformed once, in the face of danger you might not be able to transform again. Reno and Iharu were here as a precaution, to bail you out if necessary.

“Oh, and also, this is a timed exam. Good luck!” With that a small cannon went of to commence the start of the training exercise.

“Exam?!” all three of you stared up at Hoshina’s shit-eating grin atop the wall. God damn him, you thought setting off in the direction of the scent. You’d picked up on all six of the Kaiju the second they’d opened the doors. They were scattered throughout the facility, with the Honju over in the far-right corner.

Following close behind you, Reno and Iharu kept a close eye on you, being sure to take in any signs of struggle the transform. But for you, transforming now felt as easy as jumping into a pool. Leaping into the air, the fur spread from you head down to your paws, landing on top of a Yoju, squishing it and its core. Taking a moment to sniff the air for the scent of the other Yoju, you looked back at the boys, using your head to point in the direction of the next Yoju.

Reno looked on in awe at you, crouching on the corpse of the Yoju. Your fur soaked in its blood, you looked majestic. A small tug was felt in his heart, what a strange sight to give him butterflies.

Iharu felt the same. You were so badass. It was plain to see that you could easily stand beside Captain Ashiro. Your fur whipped around in the wind, your tail moved to shield your eyes, he watched on, secretly wishing to touch your fur.

You cleared the other Yoju with ease and swiftly destroyed the Honju in one blow, Reno and Iharu didn’t have to fire a single shot. The training exercise was over and you’d managed cleared it in only 3 minutes and 36 seconds.

“Yeah, Alright!” Iharu wailed. Jumping down from the Honju’s carcass, you reverted to your normal form. He held his hands up to high five you, felling a stir in his stomach from your appearance. You gave him a big smile, your ears falling back in excitement, tail once again wagging around. He blushed ever so slightly, coughing to cover it up.

You turned to Reno, as you did, your tail brushed under Iharu’s chin. The fur of your tail was too dense for you to have noticed. His face lit up like a tomato, he had to turn away from you to hide his expression. So freaking soft, he thought.

 “Thank you, thank you both for having my back out there. Now I know I can control my transformation, I hope I can be a bigger help on the field!” You gave Reno a candied smile, your head falling to the side. He kept his composure, but underneath he feels the same as Iharu. You were so cute, but you were badass, and you were determined to improve, something Reno could respect deeply.

This mutual crush sparked a new rivalry between the two. This time, it wasn’t not one sided.

***

The day of a mission comes. The regular pre-mission checks are complete. Hoshina assigns you and Reno to his platoon. You are tasked with taking down a Daikaiju with a fortitude of 8.2, a walk in the park for Hoshina, but this was another one of his tests, and it’s a big one.

Slightly peeved the captain assigned you with such a large Kaiju on your first mission, you whisper curses towards Hoshina under your breath as you ran across the roofs to the Diakaiju’s location.

“I’m sorry? What was that, L/N? I couldn’t quite here you,” Hoshina teased. You’d left the channel open deliberately so he could hear your disapproval.

Before you had the chance to tell him to shut up, the Diakaiju came into view. With one leap you closed the distance, ready to slash its body. You could sense its core was right in the centre of its mass along with…something else. All you had to do was tear away its thick, grotesque skin.

The original plan was to have Captain Ashiro take it down, but she had been held up by another Diakaiju. A simultaneous attack hadn’t been heard of until recently.

The damaged caused by the Diakaiju in front of you was too much to leave until Mina arrived. That’s why Hoshina had assigned you to dispose of it. Dickhead.

Using your claws you dug deeper into the side of its body, making your way to its core. Soon, Yoju swarmed around you, an attempt to keep the Daikaiju safe. Reno provided cover, shouting at you to keep on going.

Deeper into the side of its thick skin you dug, to find its shining core staring at you. Theres gotta be a more effective way for me to do this, you thought. Creating as much space as possible so you had a clear chance to slash its core, you tore away more of its vile flesh. The putrid smell stung your nose. Finally with enough space to slash its core, you raised your clawed hand ready to destroy the beast once and for all, only to be met with a twisted face.

“I’m not ready to die yet,” its croaky voice creaked. “You are though,” before you had time to react, you were ejected from the Kaiju. You were sent spinning through the air at such a high speed, you passed out from the g-force. Your Kaiju form deactivated when you passed out, so when you slammed into and through a building, your suit was the only protection from the blast. It wasn’t enough. Your core had been destroyed.

Your friends mourned you that day. Hoshina felt so guilty, he could have just taken that Kaiju on himself, then maybe he would have died in your stead. You had so much potential, and to be honest, he liked you more than he should have.

Reno and Iharu were in bits, you were their friend. You’d become a trio in the time of your training, they would treasure those memories forever.

Even the public mourned you. You’d died a hero.

The Diakaiju had managed to escape after revealing itself to be an unidentified Kaiju.

***

Your wake was eerily silent. No one talked, no one dared too. For the first time, Captain Ashrio looked genuinely sad. She never showed that side to the public before. She comforted Bakko, who in turn, comforted her. Hoshina couldn’t talk, he was a shell of himself; forced to carry this burden for the rest of this life. Iharu and Reno stifled sobs, staring painfully at their food, unable to eat. Word got out to the First Division, Kafka and Kikoru cried, unable to attend the wake due to another attack. Even Gen felt the less, pausing his game to take a moment to remember you when a cat came on screen.

But, you see, there’s an old myth that says cats have nine lives.

Sliding open the door to the wake, you stood, a white sheet wrapped around you, skin as pale as a ghost.

Reno and Iharu grabbed each other and shrieked. This was echoed by many others, screams and wails bounced around the room. You winced at the noise; your ears still sensitive from waking up. You yawned slightly, walking over to where the two boys were sat, stealing a piece of meat from Reno’s plate. You hummed at the flavour, taking a swig of Iharu’s drink.

You blinked up at him, confused at to why Reno was cradling him. “What?” you voice slightly croaky, “Why are you looking at me like that? And why are you all wearing black?”

You had no idea you’d been dead for a week. Hoshina broke to silence, letting out the loudest and most genuine belly laugh ever, tears formed at the corner of his eyes. Soon the room erupted into happy tears. Mina filled you in that you had seemingly passed away.

Shocked, you apologies for scaring everyone. Hugging Reno and Iharu, reassuring them that you were real. You were brought some clothes and after you had changed you joined in your own wake.

“Don’t let me stop you, you teased. Please, share your stories of how great I am,” you joked, staring up at all the smiling faces of your friends. Who would have thought you’d have to die to feel so loved?

Bonus information:

Hoshina hugged you after the wake. He’d definitely had too much to drink. It took a lot for him not to drunkenly confess to you.

You curl up when you sleep and use your tail as a pillow.

Often you find yourself laying your head people lap’s. Your core body temperature is lower than normal, so you seek heat often.

Instead of snoring in your sleep you purr.

Iharu and Reno figured out Hoshina also has a crush on you and so added him, unknowingly, into the rivalry.

Hoshina leaves you cat toys because he thinks it’s funny.

Bakko and you often cuddle together. Snow leopards are closely related to tigers, so you get along really well.

Mina trusts you wholeheartedly but needs you to train more before she feels confident sending you out into the field again. She doesn’t want you burning through your nine lives too fast.

Iharu and Hoshina, when stood beside or behind you, stroke your tail. You often don’t notice.

Hoshina also puts your tail up to his face, like a mustache, to make people laugh.

Reno does extensive research on snow leopards to try and accommodate you better.

[spidermans-l-o-v-e-r]

Twice bitten

Why is my dream to be a housewife? I’m handy okay I have a wild amount of skills I swear I’d be an amazing housewife

Pairing: Buck x Eddie x reader

Word count: ….s’all in da notes app. But I did it okay 🥹🥹🥹 I wrote a longer one it’s a miracle

Notes: I didn’t realize how desperate I was for these two until I tried finding fics for them. Whoever writes them I love you, thank you. Ps, I don’t edit shit I’m sorry

⭐️Day 16: Double Penetration⭐️

It was normal on certain days of the week for Buck to rush home, the guys teased him for it but he just laughed it off claiming he was excited to just pass out after the long day they’d had.

It was normal for Eddie to crash at Bucks place on certain days.

Why no one noticed these days coincided with each other neither man was sure, but they sure as hell weren’t going to point it out.

Everyone knew you were Bucks longtime girlfriend, you’d met after the neighbors in your apartment burnt down their own home and half of yours. There was nowhere to go that night as you sat in the back of an ambulance, an oxygen mask over your face. Buck approached you first after the fire was out, he had been watching you for a little bit and you hadn’t moved in the last 45 minutes. He looked around, uneasy at first because he knew this was stupid. But you just looked so helpless… and your house had literally just burnt down.

“I uh- I promise I’m not a serial killer” Buck joked as he approached you, you looked at him- your eyes red-rimmed and puffy.

“Okay? Cool?” Your voice was a bit hoarse from the smoke, and Buck inwardly cursed himself. That was weird as hell

“I just- you- you don’t have anywhere to go and okay I know this is weird and my boss would kill me for this… but I have a bed! And oh my god that’s not what I mean I swear it’s just-“

“Are you asking me to stay at your place?” You look up at him and his heart breaks all over again for you.

“Yeah I am” he sighs quietly “I have an overnight shift tonight and won’t be home. So, I can take you there. I’ll just say I need to change or something, just. Consider it? Please?” He handed you a piece of paper with his number on it and the rest was history. Buck could remember the night Bobby had found out he’d done that for you, he was on dish duty for two months after that.

Four months after the fire, you still hadn’t found a place to live. It was weird at first, Buck gave up almost everything for your own comfort, often crashing on a coworkers couch. But one night he came home, and you’d made dinner for him as a surprise. The moment he walked through the door you knew something was off, he let his bag fall to the floor as he kicked off his shoes and went straight to his bed, crashing on it and putting a pillow over his head.

“Buck?” You asked softly, but he continued to ignore you. You sat at the edge of the bed and lifted the pillow a bit.

“Evan?” You whispered, and he reached out, pulling you down with him and nuzzling his face in your neck.

That was the night you and Buck had gotten together.

Two months after that, Eddie showed up at the apartment to drop something off and found you there, he knew Buck was seeing someone but he didn’t know it was you he was seeing. The conversation was light and awkward but very flirty and you found yourself comfortable around him immediately. He came around more often for “just hanging out” purposes but Buck knew there was an ulterior motive.

“Do you like my girlfriend?”

Buck cornered Eddie behind the fire truck one day as they were taking a breather, getting drinks from a corner store.

“I’m sorry, what??” Eddie wiped his mouth as he nearly spit his drink out, he coughed a couple times and looked up at him “Do I like who?!”

Buck crossed his arms over his chest “My girlfriend. Y/N? Do you like her?”

Eddie’s cheeks reddened as he tried to hide it behind the bottle. He shook his head as he took another sip. “ I mean- I- she’s cool yeah I like her she’s a nice girl!”

“You know that’s not what I’m asking you” Buck rolled his eyes.

Eddie sighed as he leaned against the truck, he looked down at his hands for a moment “Yeah” he said softly “Yeah I like her”

“So just tell her”

That night Eddie came over to Bucks house and asked you to be his girlfriend too. Buck had been suspicious for a little while before he started asking you questions and the truth came out. You did like Buck… but you just happened to also like Eddie. The immense guilt you’d been feeling went away very quickly when Buck laid back on his bed, his hands behind his head

“Yeah he’s kinda hot isn’t he”

you both laughed as you laid your head on his chest and just talked about Eddie, like two school girls with a secret crush. That was also the night Buck and Eddie decided it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing if they both found each other attractive.

This brought all three of you to today. Buck got home first, wrapping his arms around your waist and kissing you like he hadn’t seen you in months, he was stuck at work and then crashing at Eddie’s place for the last six days in a row.

“I missed you so much pretty girl” he breathed against your neck as he kissed it, inhaling your sweet perfume.

“I missed you too babe” you laughed as he pushed you against the counter and lifted you onto it.

“My gorgeous sweet toy” He whispers. His hands slide up your side and go to take off your shirt when the door starts to unlock. Eddie walks in, looking equally as exhausted. He slowly puts his keys into his pocket as he raises an eyebrow.

“Am I interrupting something?” He asks as he sets his bag down by Bucks, and leans against the closed door

“Not if you wanted to join us.” Bucks eyes sparkle as he smiles widely. Your mouth drops as Eddie shakes his head chuckling. He removes his jacket and sets it on the hook.

“You sure she’s ready for that?” He walks over and gently turns your head to him, giving you a dizzying kiss. Buck and Eddie had been toying with the idea of talking to you about sleeping with the both of them together. It had just been taking turns or one of them watching the other with you, never all three of you at once.

“Yeah I think she might be” He starts kissing your neck again, easing your shirt over your head.

“R-ready for what?” You ask as Eddie keeps kissing you. You feel Bucks hands slide between your thighs as he leaves kisses down your neck.

“We were wondering, if you’d be up for having us both.” Eddie asks as he pulls away for a minute, smirking at the dazed look in your eyes.

“You can definitely say no and if you say yes you can absolutely use your safe word.” Buck says as he pulls away as well.

“What do you mean by ‘having you both?’” You ask as Eddie picks you up and takes you over to Bucks bed. Buck pulls off shirt as he follows and as soon as Eddie sets you down he eases you onto your back, pulling off your bra and sucking your nipple into his mouth. His hand comes up and massages your other breast as he moans softly.

“We both want to be inside you, Y/N” Eddie says as he pulls off his shirt and starts kissing you, he picks you up and puts you on top of Buck, Buck goes to your other nipple, biting and sucking at it. You moan as you tangle your fingers in Bucks hair, pulling his face up to make out with him. You lightly grind against him and Eddie smirks as he watches your body. He pulls your shorts down and leans forward, giving your cotton panties a sweet kiss.

“What do you think Y/N?” Buck asks between kisses. You reach down and unbutton his pants and Eddie helps pull them off.

“We won’t be upset if you say no, you have full control baby.” Eddie reassures you as he starts to rubs your clit through your underwear. Your hips stutter as you grind against his hand and Bucks cock through his boxers.

“Y-yeah I want to try it.” You pant as Eddie pulls your panties to the side and easily slips his fingers in your soaked cunt.

“Fuck I’m into you” Buck laughs breathlessly as you agree to it. Eddie pulls off his pants and grabs your hips, pulling you a bit closer to him. He pulls his fingers out and you whine, angling your hips towards him.

“Shhhh mi vida it’s okay” He starts to grind his cock against your ass, pushing you against Buck. Buck groans loudly as he starts to grind back. Your gasps and moans come sharper from the pressure of both of them.

Eddie finally pulls off your panties, and your legs start shaking a bit. He chuckles and helps Buck pull off his boxers.

“You ready for this pretty girl?” Buck asks as he wraps his arms around you, kissing you softly. Eddie reaches over to the bedside table and pulls out a small bottle of lube and puts some in his hand, stroking his cock and then rubbing it between your ass. This wasn’t the first time you’d done anal but it sure was the first time with the two of them. He reaches down and lifts your hips a little grabbing Bucks cock and coating it too.

“I-I’m ready” you’re a bit nervous, Eddie rubs your back lovingly.

“Remember you can stop us if you need to but we know you can take it.” Eddie lines Buck up first and he pushes into you easily, your eyes roll back in your head as you moan together, Buck can’t help the way he pumps into you immediately. Eddie chuckles and holds his hips

“You’re both so eager”

He teases your tight hole with his cock a bit and you gulp, you angle your hips a bit and bury your head in Bucks neck. He chuckles and reaches his hands down, spreading your cheeks open for Eddie.

Eddie taps your hole again and pushes in slowly. Your body jerks a bit as he fills you, he pours a bit more lube on his cock and pushes in more. You hold onto Bucks body tightly as they both fill you, your cunt squeezes tightly around Buck and he groans, fighting to keep his hips down for you. Eddie throws his head back as he moans loudly, his grip on your hips tighter and bruising.

“Fuck that’s good, fuck” he leans forward with his head on your back as he waits for you to adjust. Your body is trembling as you lay between the two of them, filled to the brim and trying to adjust to being completely filled.

“Oh my god” your voice is high pitched as Bucks hips snap and he finally loses it, thrusting into you and holding onto Eddie’s arms above you. Eddie groans as he starts thrusting too and you feel like you’re being torn apart in the best way possible. They take turns thrusting in and out of you as you cling to Buck, gasping and crying out their names.

“Ah ah fuck Y/N shit you’re so tight” Bucks mouth covers your moans as he kisses you, it’s messy with the way they’re both pumping in and out of you but it feels good. Eddie wraps his hand around your hair and tugs it back gently, pulling you up to him and starts kissing your neck, his hands slide up your sides and cup your tits as they bounce in his hands, he reaches down and starts rubbing your clit.

“Fuck you better cum pretty girl, make a mess in Bucks lap.”

You lay your head on his shoulder, whimpering and whining as Buck grabs your hips now slamming you down on them. You scream their names, babbling incoherently as you cum all over their cocks. Bucks mouth drops in awe as he watches you squirting all over them both. Your body jerks as Buck holds you down on their cocks, they both hold onto you tightly as they come together inside you. Bucks hips stutter as he pushes his cum deep inside you. Eddie pushes his cock in to the hilt and squeezes your tits, pushing every last drop inside you. He pulls out and lets you fall forward into Bucks chest, his cum drips down your pussy and over Bucks balls.

“Fucking hell man” Eddie laughs as he pants, he turns to Buck and grabs his face, kissing him softly. “You both did amazing. Especially you mi amour” he reaches for you and Buck pulls out, handing you over. Your body is shocked and exhausted as you cuddle between the two of them.

“Promise me we’ll do that again when I can feel my body again?” You ask sleepy and both Buck and Eddie chuckle as they kiss your cheeks.

“Yeah we promise we can do that again.”

[wosoamazing]

Negative Thoughts & Beach Days

Summary: Based of this request.

Warnings: Eating Disorders, R calling themselves fat, RED-S syndrome.

A/N: This took longer than I expected sorry. I hope you like it, might do a part two where R talks to Leah and Jonas etc. I took forever to come up with the title - don't be surprised if I change it.

“She’s so fat” “She’s ugly” “Literal definition of nepotism, search it up in the dictionary and you would find her, she is so unfit and a bad player, screams nepotism.”

Leah had always told you there are two main rules to being a professional sports person. Number one do not read the comments on any posts about you, and number two if you don’t listen to number one and do read the comments don’t let them get to you. But these three comments weren’t alone, they were three of millions, it had been going on for a month, its hard not to let them get to you, you open social media, and they were plastered all over your screen. You tried to ignore them, block them out of your head, but they always managed to find a way to wiggle in and eventually they were all consuming thoughts.

The girls first noticed an odd change in your eating habits one morning at breakfast, you didn’t stop at your routine stop in front of the cereal instead you continued over to the fruit picking up a fruit salad, you also had decided to have wholemeal bread instead of white bread this morning for your toast, these decisions received a few confused looks from the girls as you sat down, no one knew why, they just thought maybe you wanted to try and be healthier, so no one thought much of it and just shrugged it off.

You were 16, turning 17 in 2 months and had never had your period. Leah said you were lucky, that you didn’t have to deal with it. RED-S syndrome was what every single doctor you ever spoke too yapped on about, along with exercising less, which they all regretted saying the second after, exercising was your job, you couldn’t really stop it, plus it kept you skinny. You didn’t really listen to what anyone said, nor did you care, in your mind not having a period meant that you were skinny enough, you were thin enough, you were fit enough. This was far from the truth but in your distorted reality it was the truth. So, the day you got your first ever period your whole world collapsed, in your reality you were now classed as fat. In reality you weren’t, you were insanely skinny. But you weren’t in reality. You stopped eating snacks, you thrived off snacks or at least that’s what the girls said, but you had stopped eating them, that did concern them, but you were still eating your three full meals a day so no one was too concerned, well except for Alessia, she would always ask “You sure you don’t want some?” in regards to popcorn on movie nights, or “What happened to your snacks?” you knew somewhere deep down that she was concerned and just trying to help but you didn’t take the comments that way, it felt like she was having a go at you, and one day you snaped, “Alessia, why do you even care, it’s not like you’re in charge of me, you’re not my Mum, my Dad, you’re not Leah, you don’t fucking get to constantly nag me about food, you have no fucking idea what is going on. Just leave me alone” she stood there in shock that day and so did you, before you ran up to your room and locked it, she did know what was going on which is why she was trying to say things lightly, however she forgot that you wouldn’t have taken them lightly she had been in your position a few years ago and felt so bad that she forgot what it felt like when someone said something like that, so she stepped back.

You also started to wear obviously baggier clothes after your first period, you loved to wear anything with spaghetti straps that’s coverage stopped at your ribs, Leah referred to your clothes as ‘non-clothes’ saying you may as well just wear your underwear. But now you would always be found in a baggy overside hoodie or shirt and a pair of sweats, to be fair it was winter, however even in winter you would wear your Nike Pros and a cropped hoddie or cropped rugby jumpers, so the girls were confused and they didn’t really understand why you started wearing trackies and hoodies but the one day they had discussed it Alessia told them to just leave it be and she would deal with it. She wasn’t sure how she would deal with it, however the moment arrived on your team trip to Ibiza.

_____

It was the fourth day of your holiday trip with the team and today it was decided that you were all going to the beach, you had managed to suggest other activities, and avoided the beach for the previous three days. The girls were slightly confused as to why you were avoiding the beach as usually you were the one to suggest it and you always jumped at the idea. You loved to wear the skimpiest bikini Leah (or your Mum – depending on whether it was a team or family trip) would let you get away with, lounging on the sand for half of the day getting a good tan before turning into a four-year-old and splashing everyone in the ocean. You even once filled up a bucket of water and tipped it over Katie’s head when she was sleeping on the beach, it was safe to say you regretted that one.

“Come-on, Y/N lets go to the beach.” Alessia said as she pounded on your door, she waited a bit “If you don’t come out in the next minute, I will assume you’re sick and I’ll come in, whether you are dressed or not”.

“I’m still getting ready” you told her.

“How? Just choose the aquamarine bikini set, the side tie and triangle bikini ones, as I’ve told you before it definitely has the least coverage and Leah lets you wear it, and you always wear it, it’s your favourite, every time after I tell you to put it on you thank me, just chuck it on and let’s go” for some reason these words caused a tear to roll down your cheek, as you stared down at the bikini set that was laid out on your bed in front of you, the exact set Alessia said to put on, however there was one problem, it didn’t fit anymore, you tried it on last night and it didn’t fit, you had developed slightly since the last time you wore it and now it would be considered inappropriate to wear, you didn’t see it that way though in your mind you were too fat to fit into your own bikini.

“Less, just go down and meet the girls I’ll be like 5 minutes, I promise,” you said trying to get Alessia off your back, you felt as though you would break any second and you didn’t want Alessia there when you did.

“No, I’m waiting, why aren’t you ready yet though? You’ve had all morning, quite literally. Are you okay?” Alessia said back, she had some idea of what might be happening behind that door, she could feel it in the air, you were going to break, and she promised the girls she would help you and that they didn’t need to worry.

“I just can’t find them, I-I’m fine ” You said whilst your voice broke a little, ‘shit’ you thought to yourself, she will know something is not right and she won’t leave.

“Well, I hope you have pants on because I’m coming in,” she said half-jokingly, half seriously, whilst flinging your door open. “Um… what are these?” She said as she picked up the bikini set off the bed. Tears started streaming down your face as she looked over to you, you were caught. “Hey, what’s up?” She asked in a soft tone, you didn’t reply and slid down the wall, your knees were up near your chest as you hugged your legs, your head placed on your knees, your body started shaking from your sobs.

You heard Alessia’s footsteps, and then the creek of the door, then her footsteps stopped, maybe everyone was right, maybe no one actually liked you, Alessia just saw you start sobbing and left, maybe you were just a burden, maybe no one cared about you, maybe they wanted you gone, maybe …. “Y/N” your thought train was interrupted, Alessia was back, she sat down next to you and pulled you into her lap, at first you resisted but you gave up, she lightly pushed your head into her neck, and immediately you let your body relax against hers, you were still shaking from your crying and Alessia just let you sit there while she held you tightly rubbing your back. “Hey, can you drink some water for me?” Alessia said, her voice laced with concern, it had been at least five minutes, and you hadn’t calmed down, reluctantly you took the water bottle of her and took some small sips. “Thank you, now I think we both know what is going on here, but I would like to hear it from you,” she said, you knew this was coming honestly you expected this conversation weeks ago when you snapped at her but it didn’t mean you were prepared for it at all, you let out a sigh, “I promise I’m here for you, I won’t leave you alone, I’ll be here for you every step of the way, I’ll help you, your like my little sister, I care about you and I want to help, but I need you to tell me what’s up,” she said, a tear rolled down her check she knew the pain you were feeling and wished she could make it magically disappear but she couldn’t.

“I’m f-fat,” you cried out.

“That’s not true, you know that”.

“Yes, it is, I got my period, I don’t fit into my bikini and I-”

“Oh baby girl,” Alessia cuts you off pulling you in tighter, she didn’t need the rest, she had seen it, they girls had seen it, but they had hoped you hadn’t but obviously you had, “I promise you, you are most definitely not fat, getting your period just means that you’re getting healthy, and maturing and every girl grew out of their clothes at one stage, I grew out of multiple bikinis at your age and I still do but that doesn’t mean I’m fat does it? I promise none of us think that your fat, or unfit and I swear on my life that every single girl in this team would do anything for you, we all care about you so much and we all love you so much,”

“Okay, I-I’m sorry” you replied to her, you had slightly calmed down but tears were still streaming down your face.

“For what?” Alessia asked confused, “Being a burden”.

“Baby, you know you’re not a burden, this isn’t your fault, we will get you help okay, I can talk to the girls, to Leah but you will also have to talk to her yourself, I’ll help you, I can come with you to see Jonas, we can make a plan with Leah, and I promise every single girl on the team will also be with you every step of the way okay?”

“Okay, can we stay here for a bit?” You ask.

“Well, I think the girls are getting a little worried, what if we go down to the swimwear store and I buy you some new swimmers, whatever you like and then we can go to the beach, and you don’t have to swim if you don’t want to, I can stay with you if you want, but I think we should at least go down to the beach.” Alessia said as she dragged you up, she grabbed you both towels, hats and she grabbed her sunnies. You followed her down to the swim store and bought a nice set of bathers.

You made your way to the beach, Leah stood up and walked over to you, “Are you okay?” she asked as she gave you a hug, looking at Alessia for an answer as to why your face was puffy and tear stained, “She will be okay, we’ll talk about it later, let’s just enjoy our beach day first” Leah’s brow furrowed but she nodded her head, Leah trusted Alessia, so she decided to leave it until the end of the day. You were nervous for the conversation that was to be had at the end of the day but for now you decided to enjoy your beach day, but it was a bit more relaxed today you sat and talked with the older girls rather than messing about with the younger girls, you even fell asleep while tanning, you woke up to Leah reapplying your sunscreen and as promised Alessia stayed with you all day.

[hoshipills]

The world is ending

Pairing: Kwon Soonyoung x fem!reader

Genre: strangers to ???, Angst, Action, Zombie apocalypse, tiny bits of fluff.

Warnings: blood, zombies, death, profanity, Soonyoung gets hurt pretty often, sometimes there is graphic description of wounds but its not too bad.

Word count: 11.5k

Summary: The world is literally ending. Zombies roam the streets, and blood paints the sidewalks. You didn't know how you will survive in this nightmare. Then you met him – a man with mysterious eyes who saved you from a bunch of zombies at the last moment. The survival of one suddenly became survival of two, side by side, every day a fight. Soonyoung knew how to get through, and you realize you might actually be in love with this man.

Note: I am sorry for taking longer than said 😭😭😭. My exam paper was so hard, I had spent my time re-watching hidden love. also not at all proofread.

Comments and reblogs are appreciated!!

Taglist: @kwonshiho @heeseungthel0ml

Your head throbbed with a splitting headache as you groggily peeled yourself off the couch. The nap was supposed to be refreshing, but instead, you felt like you’d been hit by a truck. You squinted at your watch lying on the table.

16:08.

You sighed, lifting your head and rubbing your temples. The apartment was unsettlingly quiet, a silence that gnawed at your nerves. Something felt...off.

Dragging yourself to the living room, your brows furrowed when you noticed your roommate wasn’t around. Her bedroom door stood wide open, the bed unmade, but the room was empty. You shuffled to the kitchen, half-expecting her to pop out with some lame excuse about losing track of time, but all you found was a sticky note clinging to the fridge: "I’ll get some groceries, there are barely any in the house."

Your stomach growled in agreement, reminding you that the morning’s toast and pasta weren’t cutting it. You yanked open the cupboard doors, only to be greeted by an expanse of barren shelves. Great. You’d have better luck finding food on a desert island.

Two hours later, you frowned. The corner store was a mere fifteen-minute stroll and she wasn’t exactly the type to leave that long without a word. You punched her number into your phone, but each ring that droned on without an answer cranked your anxiety.

Grabbing your jacket and keys, you decided to go look for her yourself. The sun had dipped below the horizon, leaving the streets in shadows of the trees. Your footsteps echoed in the silence, each one louder than the last.

You quickened your pace, your eyes darting around, catching every movement in the corner of your vision. Something was definitely not right.

Then, you rounded the corner. You froze.

Zombies.

Freaking zombies.

Dozens of them, staggering around like they were on a really bad bender, eyes glazed over, their slow, jerky movements more terrifying than anything you’d ever seen in a horror movie.

Your body shuddered as realisation settled in.

Is this a fucking apocalypse?

You stumbled backward, trying to remain as quiet as possible. Your mind raced with a thousand thoughts. Where was your roommate? Was she safe? You pulled out your phone again, hands trembling, and tried calling her once more. Still no answer.

A groan from behind snapped you back to the present. One of the zombies had noticed you. It turned its decaying head, its blank eyes looking into yours. You let out a shriek at the sight of its grotesquely ruptured face. It wasn’t the wisest move, you realised it as soon as you saw it move toward you. You grabbed a thick pipe lying on the ground and sprinted from there, hoping that you would make it to your apartment without any more obstacles.

You ran for a while safely but with your amazing luck, you were met with more zombies, hurdling as if they had been waiting for you to arrive. You lifted the metal pipe up, gathering up every bit of courage you could and swung it hard. Blood sputtered and the zombie fell to the ground. You inhaled an unusually large amount of air through your mouth and continued to swing the pipe so that it could strike the heads quicker.

The metal slipped out of your sweaty hands at a particularly rough strike, and you froze in panic. You saw a zombie, right in the corner of your face.

This was it, you were going to die. You shouldn’t have come looking for your roommate; you should have been in your room, sound asleep, not caring about the mess that the world had become.

You closed your eyes, accepting your fate.

That’s when a tight grip encircled your wrist and tugged you forward to run. You opened your eyes to see the man who had just saved your life. You followed his lead, wherever he was taking you .He stopped, scanning the surroundings for any creatures, gasping for breath.You were a little distant from him when you finally noticed the baseball bat that he was holding in his other hand.

Before you could utter a word, he flung the bat in your direction without warning. “The fuck?” you yelped, ducking just in time to avoid getting brained by the flying object. You were about to burst out and question him about his actions but you looked back to see a zombie that just crumpled to the ground as the bat hit its head with a thud. You instinctively moved away from it, right to this man’s back.

He approached the fallen zombie and retrieved the bat, keeping it in hand for later. He finally looked at you. “What were you thinking? Standing in between them?” he questioned as he approached you and you took a step back.

“I thought I was gonna become one of them,” you muttered.

He shook his head. He looked like he wanted to say something but he didn’t. “We should leave for a safer place,” he said and you nodded.

“Where is your apartment?” he asked and you answered without any hesitation, “Just 2 streets away.” His mouth twitched, “Perfect. We are going there.” He looked at you to see if you were on the same page as him. You exhaled shakily and led the way. He followed you with the bat in his hand. You kept your trust in him, after all, he saved your life a while ago. Moreover, in this mess, you had no other option.

You shuddered at the sound of a thud. Another zombie down.

These fucking zombies.

You started walking, this time closer to him than before. Your area wasn’t busy even in the bustling city. Perhaps that was the reason why there weren’t many of them around. You reached your building and checked your pocket for the keys.

They were there, thank the lord. You were afraid you had lost them on the way.

You both took the steps, reaching your flat on the first floor.

You froze for the second time that day and the reason was same.

Zombies.

A few of them, loitering near your apartment door, their lifeless eyes fixing on you with hunger.

He stepped in front of you, gripping his baseball bat tightly. "Stay behind me," he ordered, his voice low but firm. Without waiting for a response, he charged forward, swinging the bat. The first zombie went down with a sickening crunch, its head caving in under the force of the blow.

You scrambled to the door, hands trembling as you tried to fit the key into the lock. The sickening thuds of the bat striking flesh and bone echoed through the hallway, making your skin crawl.

You finally managed to get the key in and turned it, the door swinging open just as he ran to the door, a few zombies he missed following him.

"Hurry!" he yelled, his voice strained. You darted inside, holding the door open for him as he backed in, using his bat horizontally to give one hard push to the zombies. Once he was inside, you and he, together, forced the door closed as they tried to enter as well. With a heavy grunt, he exhaled and slid down the door, collapsing to the floor.

His hand shook, lips quivering as his panting never seemed to end, his chest rising and falling.

You didn’t know why you thought he was some kind of superhero, not afraid of anything. He was just like you. Just as afraid, just as terrified.

It took you time to notice he was crying. Small sniffs and low sobs escaped his mouth. You settled yourself beside him. What could’ve happened before you met him? Before he saved you? How many people he watched turn into the living dead?

“Hey, it’ll be alright,” you said, though you weren’t sure if you believed it yourself.

“I watched them, my friends,” he sniffed, “Only I was able to survive,” he mumbled.

Your heart sank. You didn't know what to say, so you simply sat beside him, offering silent support. The room was quiet except for his occasional sniffles and the distant groans of zombies outside. You both knew that the world had changed forever, and survival was a daily struggle. You couldn’t process much of the situation, given the hurry and panic you were in. Now, your mind is being flooded with worry, realising that you were actually in an actual zombie apocalypse and your loved ones were also in danger. You, however, didn’t let any of it show on your face.

“Soonyoung,” he said suddenly.

You turned to him and blinked in confusion.

“My name,” he clarified. “I’m Soonyoung.”

“____,” you replied, giving your name. He nodded, taking a deep breath.

“What do we have here?” he asked, looking around the apartment.

“Not much,” you admitted. “My roommate was supposed to get groceries but….” You trailed off, unable to continue. He nodded, understanding.

“Let’s search then,” he said, getting to his feet. You joined him, moving through the apartment to gather supplies. You found some canned food, a few bottles of water, and a first-aid kit. It wasn’t much, but it was better than nothing.

You laid your findings on the dining table. “This should last us a few days,” you said, looking at him. He looked a bit sceptical , eyes tracing over the little to no food on the table. Eventually, he nodded his head.

He rested on the bed, his body sore from the earlier fight. You took on the job of preparing two sandwiches with the ingredients you managed to gather. There were four pieces of bread in the refrigerator, and you found a nearly empty mayo bottle on the kitchen counter. Perhaps it was kept there to be thrown out that day. You were glad it wasn’t, as suddenly the last bits of mayo seemed more precious. You squeezed the bottle to get every bit out, adding some leftover corn and called it a sandwich.

You handed him the sandwich. “I am not exactly a chef, just think of it as some gourmet meal,” you said with a dramatic sigh, trying to make him smile as he had been gloomy for a while now. You got it, the situation you both found yourselves in wasn’t the most ideal but a little smile wouldn’t hurt anybody.

It might’ve worked. He smiled as he took the sandwich and bit it, “Mmh, worth a million,” he murmured with his mouth stuffed. You bit back a smile, eating your own sandwich.

You hadn’t noticed it in the chaos but he was handsome. His face lit up when he smiled, reaching all the way to his eyes. There was a strange glow there, mysterious and bright, it made you want to learn about him more.

He continued eating the sandwich, his shoulders relaxing a little as he relished the simple meal. 

You couldn't help but notice how weary he looked, almost exhausted. The bags under his eyes were more pronounced, and his breathing was still laboured. 

He finished his part of the meal rather quickly. You were still munching on yours, slowly biting and chewing every bit thoroughly. 

“ You are a slow eater, I see.”, he said, getting up from the bed and stretching his body. 

You were mid-bite when he spoke, cheeks filled like a squirrel's. His sudden comment caught you off guard, but not in an unpleasant way. You swallowed your mouthful of food before replying.

"Ah, habit," you offered, a little sheepish. "I've always taken my time while eating. My mom always said rushing through your meals isn't good for your digestion."

Silence fell over when you were reminded of your mother and your family’s safety. your appetite disappeared as your chewing got a little bit slower. 

Soonyoung noticed the way your eyes lost their shine. He moved closer to you, hesitant at first but then sitting down beside you on the bed. His voice was gentle as he spoke, his eyes fixed on your face. "Eat up, we need some strength if we want to make it through.”

You nodded, forcing yourself to take another bite. The taste was bland, but you knew he was right. You both needed all the strength you could muster. As you chewed, you glanced at Soonyoung. He was gazing out the window, lost in thought.

“ Soonyoung.”, you called out his name and he looked at you. 

“ What were you like? You know, before all this.”, You asked, finally completing your sandwich. 

“ I am not that interesting. I have a usual job in a company, few quirky friends and a routine life.”, he spoke, his voice low.

“You never know,” you shrugged. “Sometimes the most normal lives end up having the craziest stories.”

“ Yes but mine is as boring as watching paint dry," he said. 

“ If the painting is good enough, I would watch it dry," you said and he laughed. “ Perhaps but mine won’t have that many colours.”

“ Excuse me? Are you trying to imply that only colours make the painting?”, you said and he shrugged.” you can’t paint without colours.”

“ Yes but you know that's not what I mean.”, you playfully rolled your eyes. After a while the room fell quiet and you spent time looking out the window at the moon.

-

It was already 2 am, and both of you were exhausted, your eyes aching for some rest. You had settled down on the bed, watching as he got up and started moving towards the door.

“Where are you going?” you asked, your voice heavy with fatigue.

“To the other room to sleep?” he replied, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

“I think it's safer if we sleep in this room with the doors and windows locked,” you said, glancing around the room. He paused, considering your words.

After a moment, he nodded, coming to the conclusion that you were right. He picked up some bed sheets, preparing to sleep on the floor. You frowned at first but then realised what he was doing.

“You can sleep beside me, I really don’t mind,” you said, your voice gentle. You watched his face, searching for his reaction.

Soonyoung hesitated, looking down at the sheets in his hands. “Are you sure?” he asked, his voice cautious. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

You offered him a reassuring smile. “I’m sure. Besides, it’s safer if we stay close. Just in case anything happens.”

He nodded, though still looking a bit uncertain. He put the sheets aside and moved toward the bed. “Alright, if you’re okay with it.”

As he settled beside you, there was a brief moment of awkwardness. Both of you were acutely aware of the closeness. You could feel the warmth radiating from his body, a comforting reminder that you weren’t alone in this nightmare.

The silence was broken by a thought that had been nagging at you. You turned to him, voice soft and earnest. “Thank you for saving me.”

He let out a sleepy chuckle, a sound you hadn’t heard from him before. It was unexpectedly melodious, “It was hours ago. Don’t mention it.”

“But it doesn’t change the fact that you saved me,” you said.

There was no immediate response, and you turned your head to see him fast asleep beside you. His breath was getting even and the exhaustion was clear on his face. He must have been really tired.

-

Two days in and the power went off. The pitch darkness in the nights was scary, but not as scary as those zombies downstairs, you rather not open the windows to see them. You both had been sitting in the bedroom most of the time, occasionally venturing to the kitchen for food. Soonyoung had apparently lost his phone while on the run, and you were left with just yours for any information.

But it was barely useful. With no proper signals, you decided to check your messages for any updates or safety measures from the government or authorities.

Your eyes immediately caught sight of a message you had received. "Soonyoung, come here," you called, waving him over to take a look as well.

“ Attention, all survivors. This is an official message from the government. We understand these are harrowing times, and your safety and wellbeing are our top priority. We advise all survivors to remain indoors for the time being. Our teams are working tirelessly to establish safe zones and provide essential resources such as food, water, and shelter. Stay strong, remain hopeful, and do not panic.”, You read it out and glanced at Soonyoung to see his face not amused at all. He looked away from the phone and groaned as he layed back on the bed.

“ Do not panic.”, he repeated, “ How can we not?”, he left a sigh of frustration, running his hand through his hair. 

You put your phone down and nodded along, knowing there wasn’t much you could say.

Four days in and it started to drizzle, adding to the mess.

If anything you have learned about Soonyoung in those four days is that Soonyoung loved to talk, a complete opposite to you who would much rather sit and listen. You learned that he went to karaoke every weekend for stress relief and had an obsession with tigers( he showed you a tiger charm in his wallet as proof). He learned that your favourite colour was lavender and you had a soft spot for kids. 

“ …and I just fell on the grass. There was mud all over my pants. It all just happened in front of her and she didn't talk to me for the next 5 days.”, he pouted slightly. 

You chuckle at his face, finding it a bit too cute for your liking. 

He finally finished his yap of the day and rested on the bed, waiting for you to sleep as well but your mind was occupied by the fact that the small drizzle was growing into a thunderstorm and you were freaking terrified of thunderstorms.

You tried to play it off cool, smiling like usual and made your way to the bed and slept beside him, taking in a deep breath. 

Your hands slightly tremble around the blanket on top of you, you pull it further up your face, hoping it would mollify the sounds of the thunder. 

he turned his body to face you and asked, “ Afraid of thunder, are we?”

You shook your head and closed your eyes tightly. The first thunder hit and you practically flew out of the bed by the way you got up, opening your eyes. You pressed your lips into a thin line, glancing at Soonyoung who gave you a blank stare. 

“ Yeah, totally not afraid.”, he muttered, voice dripping with sarcasm.

You tried to smile, but it came out more like a grimace. “It’s silly, I know.”

“It’s not silly,” he said, getting up and you were taken aback by how sincere he sounded.  “We all have things that scare us.”

You appreciated his attempt to comfort you, but the next clap of thunder had you jumping again. He sighed, moving closer to you, slightly wrapping his arm around your shoulder, “ Is this okay ?”, he asked. 

You didn’t bother responding as you wrapped your arms around him tightly. He tightened his grip as well, slowly laying down so that both of you could drift off to sleep. 

You felt so safe under his touch, it surprised you. He was gentle with every stroke he gave to your shoulder, mumbling sweetly into your ear that everything was going to be fine. For a moment, you forgot about the zombies and the thunder, all the fears and worries vanishing. It was just you and him, it created an unknown fuzzy feeling in your chest. 

Six days in and you reached your final stage of grief: acceptance. You both now just laid on bed, staring at the ceiling that suddenly seemed interesting. Even Soonyoung ran out of his rants which was getting weird as you were getting used to it.

Soonyoung opened his mouth finally, “ There is a guitar in the other room, is it yours?”, he asked and you turned your face to him, who was looking at the ceiling intensely. “ No, my roommate’s," you reply, returning your gaze to the ceiling.

“ Musician?”

“ No, a hobby.”

You saw him nod from the corner of your eye. 

After a pause, he spoke again, “ Can I play it?”

You turned your head to look at him, seeing a spark of curiosity in his eyes. "Sure, why not?", you said. "It's not like we have much else to do."

Soonyoung got up from the bed and went to the other room, returning shortly with the guitar in his hands. He sat down on the bed, in front of you, a bit closer than usual. He strummed a few chords, tuning the instrument until it sounded just right.

You watched him, fascinated by the way his fingers moved effortlessly over the strings. "Do you play often?" you asked, genuinely curious.

He smiled, a bit shyly. "I used to but later got busy with life."

You nodded, understanding. "Play something," you encouraged.

He started playing a familiar tune of a song and you quietly hummed along.

He began to sing. His voice was more huskier and deeper when he sang and you liked it. You could tell he loved music. He had a faint smile on his lips as his fingers moved on the guitar strings. You closed your eyes to feel the rhythm more.

When he finished, you opened your eyes and saw him looking at you, a small smile on his face. "That was beautiful," you said softly.

"Thanks," he replied, setting the guitar aside. His gaze was fixed on you and you stared back. There was something about his eyes that pulled you in. You even noticed it in the past few days when he rambled. His eyes were so expressive, a glow always lingered in there no matter what. 

He slightly hummed the song he sang before, back to his position of laying on the bed. You blinked, forcing yourself to look away. There was a flutter in your chest for a reason you couldn’t figure out why. You have been trying to ignore that feeling for a while. Is it the growing affection for him for being by your side or is it because you simply found him attractive? With the world as it was, figuring out feelings was definitely not on your to-do list.

Eight days in and you were drowning in boredom. Soonyoung said it was actually nine days but it didn’t matter. What really mattered was the decreasing amount of food in the kitchen and the increasing amount of worry in your head. 

You have been eating very conservatively, you were sure that you even skipped eating for a day, but the food was just not sufficient.

You both knew that in a day or two, you must go outside to get some food but both of you haven't talked about it yet. He instead began practising taekwondo kicks and you wondered how many talents that man had up his sleeve. You weren’t complaining because it was quite entertaining to watch him.

You sat on the edge of the bed, watching Soonyoung nail yet another perfect kick. You’d lost count of how many times he’d practised that move, but it still made you smile a little.

“Does it ever get boring?” you asked, half-joking, half-serious.

Soonyoung paused, wiping the sweat from his brow with a grin. “Boring? Never. But, you know what is getting boring?” He pointed to the almost empty kitchen. “Pretending we’re not running out of food.”

You sighed, glancing over at the nearly empty shelves. “Yeah, I guess ignoring it isn’t working anymore.”

He dropped down beside you, “We’re gonna have to go out there, aren’t we?”

“Looks like it,” you replied, though neither of you moved. A few more moments of silence passed before you finally stood up, heading to the closet.

“What are you doing?” Soonyoung asked, curious.

You pulled out a big bag, throwing it over your shoulder with a smirk. “Getting ready. This is for all the food we’re about to haul back.”

He let out a laugh, “Optimistic?”

“You have to be,” you shot back, smiling despite the nerves creeping in.

He shook his head, still smiling, and stood up to join you. “Alright, let’s do this.”

-

Soonyoung took the lead as you both stepped out into the street, the big bag slung over your shoulder. You gripped the handle of the bat in your hand, ready for anything.

“You sure you’re ready for this?” Soonyoung asked, glancing back at you with a mix of concern and teasing.

“More ready than you are,” you counter, trying to keep the mood light.

“Is that so?” he grinned, raising an eyebrow. “We’ll see about that.”

As you rounded a corner, the grocery store came into view. Soonyoung signalled for you to stop. A handful of zombies milled about near the entrance, oblivious to your presence—at least for now.

“Great, just what we needed,” you whispered.

Soonyoung’s expression grew serious. “Alright, quick and quiet. Let’s get this done.”

You both moved closer, and the first zombie turned toward you, letting out a low groan. That was all it took to alert the others.

“Here we go,” Soonyoung muttered, stepping up to take the lead.

You moved inside the store as he distracted the zombies. The first thing you saw was a piece of clothing lying on the ground. You ignored it and moved to shelves that had some chips packets. You shoved them all inside. 

You heard a zombie groan that made you shiver. There were zombies even in the store as well? You groaned in annoyance before running from there to the fridge where it had a stack of water bottles. You put them inside as well. 

You looked back to see Soonyoung in the store now, facing four zombies.

His hands gripped the shelf of paper towels by the edge and pushed downwards which made the four zombies crush beneath it. You gasped at the sight of blood spreading near your leg. You jumped through it to grab the 2 cereal boxes on the opposite shelf. It was fruit loops, not a bad cereal to eat as a meal, right? You still shoved the boxes into the bag, ignoring all sorts of questions.

You moved forward to other shelves, hoping to find any other proper edibles. Your eyes caught hold of the huge pack of crackers. That one pack alone could handle your hunger for a week. You lounged towards it but another zombie came from the corner, ready to attack. Taking the broken piece of shelf from the ground, you continue to go in the way- you weren’t ready to give that pack up. 

You balanced the bag in your one hand while using the other to hit the zombie with the broken piece, landing both your weapon and the zombie on the ground. Your hand reached the pack of crackers, admiring the delicious snack for a bit, you put it in the bag, already feeling the bag getting too heavy. Your hands could barely manage the weight of the bag, you kept everything you could, everything you found to be not damaged. You swung over your shoulder, eyes scanning your surroundings for Soonyoung, so you could go back to your house. 

He was at the far end of the aisle, fighting off two zombies. He was cornered between them and a rack of rice flour, looking desperate. One zombie had its grubby hands around his neck, and you shouted in panic. The noise distracted the zombie just enough for Soonyoung to push it away and try to slip through a gap between the zombie and the shelf.

You dropped the food bag and grabbed a heavy package of grains, hurling it at the zombie. It went down with a thud, and Soonyoung stumbled into view. Your heart dropped at the sight of him—blood seeping through his shirt and pooling around his stomach. The sharp edge of the shelf had torn his shirt and sliced into his torso.

Panic surged through you. You dropped to his side, your mind racing. “Soonyoung!” You called, but he was barely conscious, cursing under his breath as he gripped his stomach. His eyes were tightly shut and he put his arm on your shoulder for support.

You barely registered the food bag as you frantically checked the wound, your hands trembling. Blood was flowing too quickly, and you needed to do something—anything—to stop it.

The torn piece of cloth before crossed your mind. “ Soonyoung, wait for me?”, you said softly before getting up and running to the aisle you saw earlier. The cloth was still lying on the ground, and you thanked the gods for not letting it cover with any zombie blood.

You tied the piece around his stomach, pressing it tightly to avoid blood loss. He hissed in pain, his hands turning into fists to control himself from being loud. The last thing you would want is to attract the attention of the zombies. The cloth got stained red as well, but it was the best you could do under those circumstances. You helped him stand up, knowing you have to find a more closed and safe place for him to heal. 

You could feel your eyes becoming watery, your one hand holding the food bag and the other supporting him to walk outside. You saw a zombie at a distance. You took a deep breath, preparing to drop the food bag and find a way to deal with the zombie, but before you could act, you heard a whoosh and a sickening thud.

The zombie collapsed, its head crumpling under the force of a bat. You turned your head to see a man- probably younger than you with his boyish face. 

He strode towards you, “ are you guys okay? "he asked. He seemed to realise how stupid the question was when he glanced towards half- conscious Soonyoung leaning on you. “ shit.”, he muttered under his breath before turning his head to look around, “ uhm, follow me.”, he said as he picked up the bat from the ground, safely guarding while leading towards a path you weren’t sure of. Visibly, Soonyoung was getting weaker every passing second and you tried your best to take more steps. There were a few zombies along the way which the guy managed to hit successfully. It didn't take him more than 1 strike to take them down and it wasn’t a surprise seeing his buff arms. You finally reached a place. It was a café, ‘ coffee beans’, the board read. There were huge windows which were covered by curtains and the lights around it were broken. The guy knocked on the door of the café and a woman peeked out to see who it was before opening it fully, she frowned upon seeing us behind him. The guy didn’t give her enough time to reach before allowing himself inside and gesturing to you to come inside as well. 

You did, adjusting the bag on your shoulder. He closed the door behind you and you were met with stares of about 20 people, some of them were in uniform by which you could tell they were the staff. 

“ Chan, you were only sent to bring water. Who are they?”, the girl who opened the door spoke to which a few people nodded. “ Send them out immediately.They seem infected”, a man spoke hastily as he gave a nasty look to both of you. 

“ Oh, Mr.Yoon, they are no danger.” Chan tried to speak but Mr.Yoon only gave an angry glare, “ I am the owner, I can decide who stays and who doesn’t”, he said and for a minute you were afraid you were actually going to be sent out. 

Chan stepped forward to him, “ Mr.Yoon, he clearly needs help. I have a plan.”, he tried to persuade him. Mr.Yoon was about to throw a comment but Chan cut him off, “ They could stay in the store room until tomorrow morning. If they turn, we’ll be safe as the door will be locked. If not, we can help them out.”

The cafe owner looked sceptical. ” we can’t just-”, an old lady began.

“ I have food and water in this bag.”, you said, hoping it would convince everyone. They all seemed defeated at that and there were a few murmurs before they agreed. 

Chan led you to the storeroom. “ Can I get a first aid kit?”, you asked when you reached the storeroom. Chan excused himself somewhere before returning with a kit. “ Just take what's needed. If something happens, we need the kit, right? There is only one.”, he said and you didn’t object, taking a long roll of bandage, cotton and antibiotic cream. He also handed you a water battle to which you could only look at him gratefully. You stepped inside with Soonyoung on your side. The door was closed behind you. The room was like a typical storeroom, with boxes of unused supplies stacked away, a small window which allowed some evening light inside. There was a bulb as well, but it barely produced light. There was a mop aside and the thing that crossed your mind was how good of a weapon it would be. 

You quickly laid Soonyoung on the floor, leaning him against a wall as you removed his shirt and the piece of cloth you tied around his wound. You left a shaky breath at the sight of his blood covered torso.

He winced loudly when you started to clean his wound, his mind clouded with pain. He half opened his eyes, keeping his focus on your face. 

“I’m alive?”, he mumbled as he tried to smile. “ Keep quiet.”, you replied, reaching for the antibiotic cream. He reached to grip your free palm tightly as you started to apply the cream to his cleaned wound. He left a loud yelp.

“I am sorry.”, You mumbled while still focusing on the wound, “ I am so sorry.”

You could only imagine how it hurts. The wound wasn’t too deep but it was big. It stretched from the side of his lower abdomen, curving upward to just beneath his ribcage.

You quickly rolled the bandage over the cut and dressed it. 

He left a groan as he tried to sit more properly but you stopped him by gently placing your hand on his shoulder. “ I didn't know you could do this.”,he left a pained laugh and you settled yourself beside him before replying, “ I just know the basics. I guess I did well enough under pressure.”, you said and felt his hand grasp yours slowly. You didn’t refuse the touch, holding his hand back.

“ I feel better.”, he said, barely moving his lips.” Thanks.”

You shook your head in response, “ It was the least I could do.”

He stayed quiet after that, drifting off to sleep as his head laid on your shoulder.

The morning you woke up with the sunlight hitting your eyes through the window. You shuffled on the ground, holding soonyoung’s head to rest it on a box beside instead. You noticed how you were still holding hands. Your cheeks grew hot slightly as you separated your hands, standing up to knock on the door.

After a while, a voice spoke through it, “ Hello?” you recognised the voice to be Chan's.

“ We are fine.”, you replied and the door opened. Chan’s eyes scanned the both of you, sighing in relief to see neither of you turned.

“ I think he needs rest.”,you said, eyes trailing over the dressed wound.

Chan nodded in agreement, before leading you outside for some food. You ate some bread and that was enough to fill your stomach. As it was a cafe, they said they had enough coffee so you were offered a cup as well. You drank it gladly, savouring the flavour after a long time.

Chan sat in front of you and there was a small girl beside him. “ This is my niece, Yerim”, he said. 

You were surprised to see that she actually gave a blinding smile to you. You couldnt help but smile back, bending down to introduce yourself, “ I am ___”, you said.

“ Hello.”, she said shyly, scooting closer to her uncle. She stood quietly as Chan started speaking, “ Don't worry about others, they will come around.”

You nodded, remembering the weary looks you received that morning. “ By the way, thanks for bringing us here.”, you made sure to thank him and he just laughed, “ No big deal. I did what felt right.”

“ So this cafe..”, you began and chan immediately caught on your doubt.

“ Ahh, when zombies broke out, the customers here and the staff, we locked everything when we saw it. The cafe owner was also here yesterday, you…uh…met him yesterday, Mr.Yoon.”, he said and you nodded in understanding. You were just grateful they let you stay.

It was afternoon when Soonyoung woke up. Chan helped you get him to one of the tables. He ate a few crackers and drank a can of juice. 

Soonyoung didn’t speak much as he went back to resting in the storeroom again. 

It took him a few days to heal. You just spent the time sitting with Yerim who grew more talkative as time passed. She kind of reminded you of Soonyoung by the way she ran her mouth continuously. 

As soon as Soonyoung began to recover, he started moving around the café in an overshirt Chan had given him, which he wore buttoned up as a makeshift shirt. Unlike you, he talked with everybody and nobody gave you those weary looks anymore. 

They all grew fond of Soonyoung, except that cafe owner- who wasn't much fond of anyone anyway. He quickly became one of the people who helped around, making sure everyone ate.

The only people you talked to were Chan and Yerim. You sometimes helped Soonyoung. When you weren’t helping, you took care of Yerim as Chan went to help instead.

Apparently nobody used the storeroom, so you made it your personal space. Soonyoung and you alone went in there at night to sleep or to talk. He was back with his rants and you almost squealed in excitement. You missed them too much for your own sake and you think you could listen to him talk for years straight. 

Everybody finished their dinner, getting ready to sleep. Some slept on tables or chairs, some on the ground as they used curtains as bed sheets.

You found yourself in the storeroom, waiting for Soonyoung to come. You peeked into the box in boredom. Your eyes caught an old, ornate box half-buried under some crumpled newspaper. You pulled the box out and wiped off the layer of dust. It was a music box. A feeling of nostalgia filled your insides, remembering your childhood days when one of these laid around in your house.

The box’s latch was rusty but still functional. You carefully opened it, and a soft, melodious tune began to play. A smile spread across your face. You listened to the sound intently when soonyoung walked in, gasping slightly as he saw what was in your hand.

“I haven’t heard a music box in years.”, he said, crouching down to look at it. You handed it over to him and he carefully studied it.

“ It's definitely an old model, probably my grandma owned one like this.”, he said and you chuckled. 

He abruptly got up after placing it on the ground, moving his hips in a way that made you laugh, “ are you seriously dancing?”, you asked though you wouldn't really call whatever he was doing a dance. 

“ You wanna join?”, he said, stretching his hand forward for you to grab. You looked at his hand and then his face. There was a warmth in his eyes, a sincerity that made it hard to resist. You took his hand, allowing him to pull you gently to your feet.

The two of you started to sway together, your movements tentative at first, trying to match the rhythm of the music box. Soon, you found yourself laughing and moving more freely.

“See? Isn’t this fun?” Soonyoung said, his voice bright and cheerful as he twirled you around slightly.

You laughed again, the sound mingling with the melody. “Definitely fun. I forgot how nice it feels to just... let go.”

As you danced together, you couldn’t help but notice how natural it felt to be close to him. It was so easy for him to make you laugh and make you feel at ease. 

-

You honestly don’t know how you ended up in this position. The morning sunlight filtered through the small window, casting a warm glow over the storeroom. There you were, cuddled up against Soonyoung. His arms were wrapped around you tightly, his head nestled in the crook of your neck, snoring quietly. You tried to shift, but his hold on you only tightened. All you remember was closing the music box and falling asleep together on the floor.

Soonyoung stirred beside you, his breath warm against your neck. He blinked groggily, the confusion of waking up in such an intimate position slowly turning to realisation. His eyes widened as he registered where he was, and he pulled away slightly, his cheeks flushing a deep red.

“Oh,” he said, “Uh, good morning?”

You looked up at him, your own cheeks heating up. You tried to form a coherent response, but all that came out was a nervous laugh. “Good morning,” you managed, your voice soft and awkward.

Soonyoung fumbled to get up but ultimately remained seated, his face still flushed. “I didn’t mean for—” he started, but his words stumbled. “I guess we just... fell asleep.”

You nodded, trying to regain your composure. “Yeah, I guess so.”

The two of you sat there for a moment, the silence only filled with Soonyoung’s continued attempts to smooth down his dishevelled hair.

“ uh, I will go check up on Yerim.”, You said before getting up and rushing out the room before it could get any more awkward. 

-

After breakfast, you watched Soonyoung. He was helping Chan and Yerim with some supplies, moving around the cafe.

Soonyoung was digging through a box of canned goods, chatting away and laughing at whatever Chan was saying. He looked completely at ease, like he was born to bring a bit of brightness to any situation. He even took a moment to playfully ruffle Yerim's hair when she handed him a can.

You leaned against the counter, just observing. Everything he did felt so familiar.

How long have you known him? A month or two? But why didn't it feel like it? 

It felt like you have known him for years, as if you grew up with him in the same neighbourhood, skipping stones in the small pond near your house and swinging till the evening shadows faded into the dim lights of the park.

Maybe it was you in your previous lives or a parallel universe- if they ever existed. But you knew there was some connection. It lingered in your heart, you couldn’t tell what it was but it was there and you could say that with your whole chest.

Your thoughts were interrupted when he looked in your direction to make eye contact. He winked at you as he caught you staring. You rolled your eyes in an attempt to conceal your flared cheeks.

He laughed before going back to his business. 

The day ended and all that replayed in your mind was the way he winked in your direction. That night you ate a packet of chips for dinner and as usual, waited for him in the storeroom. He bought himself a packet of chips as he didn't eat anything yet, plopping himself beside you on the ground.

His face shone in the light of the dusk, hands carefully tearing open the packet of chips—none of it going to waste. He looked at you with those eyes. Those eyes that glossed more than they ever did, lips slightly apart.

He was beautiful.

And no, you didn't mean beautiful like the rain but beautiful like the storm before it. Not like the sunset but the wildfire burning through the night.

He was breathtaking.

"____, you are staring," he said, tossing a few chips into his mouth.

You didn’t respond. It didn’t feel necessary, and he didn’t seem to expect an answer either. Your gaze trailed to his lips as he chewed on the food.

The world was literally ending and all you wanted to do was kiss him. You wanted to hold him so close to your body, limbs tangled, and your hands running through his hair.

He swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing slightly, and you felt your heart skip a beat. "Are you okay?" he asked, slightly concerned that you weren’t even talking, just staring at him in silence.

You nodded, but the truth was far from simple. How could you explain the wave of emotions raging inside you? How could you put into words the way his presence ignited a spark in your chest?

"Yeah, just... thinking," you managed to say, your voice barely above a whisper.

He chuckled softly, a sound that sent shivers down your spine. "Thinking about what?"

You, you wanted to say, let him know how much you craved him but you couldn’t. The words died in your throat. "Nothing in particular."

He crumpled the empty packet, throwing it beside him. He softly smiled and leaned back further into the wall. He looked almost ethereal, and it took every ounce of your self-control not to reach out and touch him.

He frowned slightly, his gaze on your shoulder. He brought his hand to dust something off from there and that was the last straw. You closed the distance between you, your lips pressing softly against his. But quickly, you pulled away. What have you done? He might have already been thinking you were a creep, and now you made a move which confirmed that.

"I'm sorry," you whispered, your voice trembling. "I- I shouldn't have done that."

"It's okay," he said softly, his voice tender. "We're both just… touch-starved."

You freeze for a millisecond but then quickly shake your head, your eyes locked onto his. "No," you said firmly, feeling a wave of frustration, why would he even think so? Sure, you didn’t put the way you felt for him in words but wasn’t the way you stared at him enough? Like he was the only person you ever wanted to look at?

"I didn’t kiss you because I was touch-starved."

He remained quiet, his eyes searching yours, waiting for you to continue. "I would never kiss someone just because I'm touch-starved," you paused, "or because I am bored." He looked away, processing your words. The tension could literally be felt in the air, every moment stretching out like an eternity. Something seemed to hit in his mind. He pressed his lips together, hesitant to speak the words swirling in his mind.

“Then tell me,” he finally said, his voice almost pleading. “Tell me you meant that kiss.”

He shifted his gaze to you, and suddenly you felt nervous under him. Your teeth grazed your bottom lip slightly and you swallowed a bit, gathering your words.

"Soonyoung, I—" Before you could finish, he pulled you into a kiss, this one more passionate, more desperate. His arms wrapped around you, pulling you close as if he couldn't bear to let you go. You melted into his embrace, your hands tangling in his hair, his locks as soft as you had imagined. His hand made its way to your face and he held it gently, trying to bring your face closer than it already was.

He pulled away just to lean in once again, this time going for your neck and gently grazing his teeth against the skin there. You gasped at the sudden feeling.

His mouth immediately zeroed in on the area where you gasped, gently nipping and sucking the tender skin there. The feeling of his hot, wet kisses against your neck was intoxicating and he pressed his body even closer to yours. His one hand rested on your shoulder, the other tightly gripping your hip.

You closed your eyes and threw your head back, giving him more space to kiss easily.

A surge of shouts engulfed your ears. He pulled away immediately at the sound, hyper-aware of the shouts that were coming in from the other room. Your mind couldn't even process the loss of touch due to how loud the sounds were. You thought a zombie might have attacked. You were about to stand up when he pressed his hand on your shoulder to let you stay in place. If anything happened, he wanted you to be the last one to get hurt.

Just a minute ago, his face was filled with passion and intensity you had never seen before. Now his expression was replaced by a much more serious one. He got on his knees to check through the small opening of the door and your speculations were confirmed by the way his face fell into panic, his hand moving to grasp your hand.

He looked over at you and you understood what he meant.

Time to run, again.

There was no use sitting in the room forever. Sooner or later you must go outside and you let that be this time.

He swiftly got up from his position, moving urgently as he held your hand tightly, pulling you up. His hand gripped the door knob, pushing the door open. It drew some attention, a zombie twisted its head towards you. Soonyoung’s grip tightened on your hand. He pulled you along with him to run forward.

You both halted when you realised that there were more zombies than you had thought. The door was open and the curtains on the window were ripped. Two zombies lunged towards you and Soonyoung immediately got hold of the mop at the side. He began hitting them and you slightly left his side to take the broken wooden leg of a table for a weapon of your own. You started to fight as well, using all your strength to take down the zombies, not only for yourself but the people around you.

Your eyes caught Chan briefly, who had Yerim at his back, trying to protect her as he shoved the zombies with a table he lifted up. Yerim didn't cry. She closed her eyes tightly, keeping all her trust in her uncle, moving according to his body moments. 

The lady fell down near the corner, her spectacles landing on the ground as well. You ran towards her to help her up. Another zombie made its way towards you when you reached her. You handed her spectacles quickly before striking the zombie roughly. The lady muttered a thank you but you could barely consider it, holding her hand to pull her towards a safer place. 

Chan noticed you, taking yerim by his hand to get near you in a hurry. 

“ How did this all happen?”, you asked in a slow whisper, looking at your surroundings for any threat. “ some bitch really just opened the door.'' Chan whispered back, hoping the profanity didn't catch Yerim’s ear. You let out a sigh, taking Yerim with your other hand, “ So where now?”, you asked. 

A groan was heard behind Chan’s back and he turned swiftly to hit it on the head before turning to you again, “ Just the safe house we talked about before.”, he said and you remembered the one time he mentioned about a safe house nearby.

Before you could respond, more zombies pushed through the broken window. The room was filling quickly, the café turning into a death-trap. 

Wait, where was Soonyoung? Your eyes traced the place in one brisk moment, finding him at a corner. “ Soonyoung!”, you shouted.

His eyes looked with yours briefly. Soonyoung swung his mop, his moments still powerful and determined but there were too many. He shouted, "Go, get to the safe house! I'll hold them off!"

"No!" you screamed, your heart pounding in your chest. You swung the wooden leg, smashing a zombie's skull. Yerim whimpered behind you and Chan closed her eyes with his hand. The lady stayed put behind all of you.

Soonyoung looked at you with desperate eyes. "Just go! I'll find you!"

But as he spoke, a group of zombies managed to break through, separating you from him. You could barely see him through the chaos, his figure disappearing into the swarm of them.

“No, Soonyoung!” you cried out, your voice breaking with fear and worry. But Chan grabbed your arm, his grip firm and unyielding.

“We have to go, now!” Chan yelled, pulling you back.

You resisted, your eyes locked on the spot where Soonyoung had been. “I can’t leave him! We have to help him!”

Chan shook his head, his eyes filled with sorrow. “We can’t do anything for him right now. He’d want you to be safe. We need to get to the safe house.”

Tears blurred your vision, but you knew Chan was right. Reluctantly, you turned away, clutching Yerim’s hand as Chan led you through the chaos. The lady followed you behind. You saw a few other people making their way out, probably to the safe house as well. The café owner was one of them, even his weak self trying to thrash the zombies.

The fight to the exit was brutal. Zombies lunged from every direction, and you fought with everything you had, your muscles burning with exhaustion. Chan was beside you all along, fighting with his all might.

A zombie grabbed your arm, its fleshy fingers wrapped around your bicep. You, in a haste moment, removed its hands from you forcefully, pushing it down. You used the wooden leg in your hand to hit it furiously again and again, even when it fell down and looked like it wouldn’t move. The flesh of it burst and blood oozed out like honey. A screech stopped your moments and you panted heavily from the action.

The three of you finally burst through the door into the street. The fresh air hit you like a shock, but there was no time to savour it. Chan didn’t stop, didn’t let you pause. He pulled you forward, his pace relentless as he led you towards the safe house along with Yerim and the lady.

As you ran, you couldn’t stop glancing back, hoping against hope to see Soonyoung behind you. But all you saw were more zombies.

You didn't really know when you had reached the safe house. All the run, your mind was filled with him.

Soonyoung.

You didn't know if he was even alive and it ate you inside out. You regretted every single thing. You should've never left. You should've stayed even if it cost you your life. 

Chan’s stretched out hand made you snap back into the present. He was holding out a handkerchief and that's when you noticed your damp cheeks. 

You accepted it but didn't take it to your face to wipe the tears away. You looked at him.

His face was bruised, little wounds all over. His eyes still remained soft as they settled on you and he ignored the blood trickling near his lips. You looked behind him and at a distance Yerim was with the lady, safely seated on the ground.

“ From what I’ve seen of him, I think he would be safe.”. He said, a sad smile forming on his lips. 

You sniffed more, trying to let some words out of your mouth, “ You don’t understand, Chan. I don't know- I don't know what to do.”,  It was hard to express it in words. You never felt like this before. It was a strange kind of emptiness. It was so profound, consuming you like a void. You could feel it by his absence beside you, not knowing where the hell he ended up. 

Chan stared at you in silence and placed a reassuring hand on your arm. You didn't pay much attention to it, your mind still replaying the scene in the café, the last time you have seen him. 

The night seemed to pass and you just laid on the blanket on the ground, prepared by the guards there for everyone to sleep. 

If you closed your eyes, it took you back to the incidents in the café, Soonyoung disappearing into the crowd of zombies. Slowly the sorrow turned into something else as a question arose in your mind.

Why did he make you his responsibility? 

He would’ve had it easier if he just minded his business, left you when he got the bag of food and searched for a safe house himself.

But he didn't. 

And it infuriated you. 

It infuriated you that he cared for you, took you with him wherever he went even though he knew it would be way harder to survive while having to keep you safe. It infuriated you that he hadn’t been selfish, that he didn’t even take a second to think about himself, that he put you first. 

You swallowed the lump in your throat, trying your best to erase the overwhelming emotions bubbling inside you.

The morning arrived later than you thought, the sun’s morning rays prickling your already strained eyes. You shut your eyes and turn the other way around to avoid them. 

You got up after some time, lazily eating a banana on Chan's insistence. You spent your day sitting near the window to see if Soonyoung would arrive. With the evening arriving, your hopes were crushed and you moved from your place to see Chan playing with Yerim. 

Chan smiled up at you and a grin formed on Yerim’s dusty face as well. The sight finally brought a small smile on your face and Chan’s smile widened.

You sat next to Yerim, allowing Chan to stretch his body for a while. 

In a span of 5 minutes, Chan came back running. “ He is here! He is here!.”, he said, standing in front of you. You knitted your eyebrows together in confusion. 

Chan took a few seconds to even his breathing. “ Soonyoung, he is outside.”, he said. You didn't wait further, getting up to reach near the window and see him outside. He was injured, definitely with his slightly limping leg and bruises that littered on his neck and shoulder, traces of blood on his face and hands. Despite his state, your shoulders relaxed at the fact he was still alive and you took a satisfied breath after a long time.

You turned to the guard, waiting for him to open the door. Your face fell when he didn't.

“ Umm… there is a survivor outside.”, you said, pointing towards the door. 

The guard looked at the café owner who had a scowl on his face. “We clearly saw him go into those zombies, he could’ve been bitten.”

Your face grew hot in anger. “ He is not.”, you said.

“ How do you know that?", The man questioned back but you had no answer. You just knew he wasn't bitten but it was a gut-feeling with no proper proof to back it up. 

“ We can’t risk these many people’s lives just so you could be with your boyfriend," he continued.

You glanced at the people around, leaving a deep sigh. You knew he was right- you can’t be selfish about this. But the thought of leaving him out alone was horrifying.

You glanced back at the window to see him outside as he looked around cluelessly. 

You closed your eyes to think for a moment, weighing out all the possibilities and their consequences. You finally made a decision that made sense to your heart.

“ Then let me go out instead.”, you said, your voice calmer than before. You heard a few gasps and you were sure the loudest one was from Chan.

“ If you go out, there is no way back in.”, The guard said, his hand tight around the door handle. 

Chan shook his head, taking a step forward. “ Are you insane? You can not go out! He could’ve been-”, he stopped seeing your glare. 

“ He is not bitten.”, you said calmly, walking towards the door, “ I know he is not.”

Yerim stood in your way with her pouty lips and all you could do was pat her head and move past her.

Chan let out a frustrated sigh, his lips twitching, “ And what if you are wrong?”. You pause your moments, “ And what if he is not? He would be all alone.”, you breath out, “ If he is bitten,”, you said slowly,” Let it be, this is the least I could do for what he had done for me.”, you said before standing in front of the door. 

The guard waited a minute to see if you would change your mind. When you didn't speak a word, he pushed open the door. The last thing you saw was Chan's and Yerim’s sad eyes  before you stepped outside. Soonyoung's eyes fixed on you as you came out of the warehouse.

There he is, in all his glory, smiling up to you as if he didn’t have you worried to death for the past 24 hours. 

You ran to him and engulfed him in a hug, squeezing the soul out of him. He hugged you back with the same energy, lifting you off the ground slightly. You moved your head back to see his face that still had a smile etched up on. 

He moved one of his hands to your cheek, caressing it gently, looking at you with those brown eyes.

Then He kissed you. It was sudden but it was not a surprise. You kissed him back gently, arms still holding on to him, afraid that if you let go, you would lose each other once again. 

He pulled back slightly and then began peppering little kisses on your lips. One, then another, then another, his lips light and soft against yours. When he deemed it was enough, he put you down on the ground again and noticed your moist eyes.

Without your own knowledge, tears flow down your cheeks, making them damp.  His face softens as he sees you. Your face was more worn out than he remembered a day ago.

Your cries become muffled when you bury your face in his chest. 

“ I thought..”, you try to begin but you fail as you cry more into his chest. “ I am here now, right? I am safe.”, he tried to reassure you.

And it was true. He was safe and that was enough.

Just then you realised, he cared for you simply because he chose to. It wasn’t a duty or an obligation but an action that came from his heart. 

And you cared for him too. You cared for him enough to be with him, even in death. If not, you wouldn’t have been here.

After staying like that for a moment, he spoke, still holding you close to his chest, “ Let us go inside? It’s not safe to stay outside.”

You pulled away, biting your lip. You gulped slightly, “ About that, uhm, They wouldn’t let you come inside.”

His eyebrows knitted together in confusion. “ Why?”

“ They are afraid- that you could’ve been bitten," you said slowly.

He frowned, looking at the warehouse at a distance to notice that the doors were actually closed. He looked back at you.“ Then why did you come?”, he asked.

“ Because I want to be with you.”, you answered too quickly.

“ No, just go inside," He said hastily and shook his head, trying to be calm. His hands moved away from their previous position on your waist.

 “ It’s too late. They won’t let me back in either, and even if they did, I wouldn’t go. I’m staying with you.” , you said, trying to get closer to him again but this time he took a step back.  

“ Are you out of your mind, ____? Why would you put yourself at risk for me? ”His voice raised slightly but you didn’t budge. You scoff, your concern long gone and replaced with anger.

“Don’t act like you haven’t taken risks for me,” you shot back. “I thought we were in this together.”

“That is different!” His voice grew more urgent, his words coming faster. “Trust me, I want to be with you too, but there is no other safe house anywhere nearby!” He gestured helplessly to his wounded body. “And—look at me.” His voice cracked as he continued, “It won’t matter if I survive.”

“It matters to me.”, you said with a low voice. “ If you think I would leave you alone, you have known nothing about me.”

“ You are just being reckless.”, he tries to counter. “I’m just being honest,” you replied, your words coming quickly as you moved closer to him. You gently placed your palm on his cheek. His eyes fluttered closed for a moment as he subconsciously leaned into your touch, his breath catching in his throat.

He sighed, opening his eyes and looking at you with a mixture of frustration and tenderness. “Alright,” he said finally. “ Let us go before we come across zombies, I am tired of fighting them.”

As you both moved away from the closed warehouse, you searched for a place to rest and regroup. The sun was getting hotter and Soonyoung was getting more tired. After walking a short distance, you spotted a small, abandoned tent partially hidden behind a cluster of trees.

You helped Soonyoung inside. Once inside, you both settled onto the ground. As you wrapped a blanket around both of you to keep warm, you heard the distant thrum of a helicopter. Your heart skipped a beat. The sound grew louder, a shimmer of hope bubbled in your chest.

Quickly, you grabbed a blanket from the tent’s corner and, with Soonyoung’s help, you unfurled it outside, using it to signal the helicopter. You waved it back and forth.

Soonyoung’s eyes were locked on the approaching helicopter, his face a mixture of hope and anxiety. You both continued to wave the blanket, your arms growing tired but your spirits lifting with each passing moment.

The helicopter circled above, its searchlight scanning the area. Finally, it began to descend slowly, landing nearby. You both signed in relief and Soonyoung threw his head back in happiness. You were finally truly safe.

His hair flew with the harsh air coming from the helicopter.

You used to read poetry in highschool. Often, these poets compare their partners to a flame. You never understood that. How could a person be like a flame? How could a person ever be a flame? When you saw Soonyoung then, you got it for the first time. Soonyoung was like a flame. He burned like one and made you yearn for him. 

You recognized the feeling in your chest, the way your heart thumped against your rib cage every time his eyes met yours. This was more than physical attraction or the affection you thought you developed over time. This was love.

And It felt right. Everything felt right with him.

“ I think I love you.”, you said without thinking, it was more of a confession to yourself. “I love you.”, you corrected your words. You didn’t have any doubts anymore, you didn't think anymore. you love him and that's all you could think for then.

He widened his eyes, his gaze flickering from the helicopter to you. It would be near you in a minute when he tightened the grip on your hand. He didn’t speak and that was fine for you. You didn't say you love him expecting him to say it back.

The helicopter reached near you. He climbed in first, stretching out his hand to help you get in as well. You grasped his hand and get it in. You both sat next to each other. 

“ Are there any other survivors?”, one of the soldiers asked and Soonyoung shook his head, “Not any I know of nearby.”

The soldier mumbles something to the pilot and the helicopter slowly moves back up to the high altitude. You looked over at Soonyoung to see him deep in thought. You wonder what he was thinking about and you hoped it was about you, your confession.

The sound of the blades made your ears numb, even in the heavy noise, you heard the words that escape his mouth.

“ I love you too, ___.”

for anyone who came this far, thank you for reading!

[imagineanime2022]

The Variable

Caspian Keyes X GN!Reader

Word Count: 2240

Requested: Anon

Request: literally anything involving caspian idc ill read anything i just need SOMETHING WITH HIM

Warning: neglectful non existent parents, spoilers for pantheon so please watch the show if you plan to before reading this!!

A/N: I can definitely write a part 2 continuing through the series, it was just getting supper long, I got carried away.

Logorhythms had not expected you to be a problem, when you were young they expected you to grow apart having you in a part of his childhood that he was unlikely to remember would be fine but even as you started to get older you never seemed to grow apart. They had tried paying off your parents but that resulted in them running off with the money and leaving you to fend for yourself. They had then thought that it would be the perfect opportunity to have you moved halfway across the country to be placed in foster care but even they didn’t have the power for that without telling the government what they were doing.

You were placed in a care home until the age of 16 where you placed in a apartment with an assisted living allowance, during that time it only seemed to make the friendship stronger, you weren’t afraid of his Dad who on many occasion and tried to scare you away, you never headed his mother’s warnings to leave while you could, for whatever reason you stuck around. You quickly became a problem for them. Stephen never had a friend that he could fall back on. You were ruining everything but there was nothing they could do short of killing you that would get you to leave.

They had decided given your ages that there was one more thing that they could try to get you out of the picture and it came with the hire of a girlfriend, Hannah. That had always been part of the plan but now there was a bonus if she could get you both to have a fight or push you away in some way.

The day that Hannah joined the school was when you started to see that things were changing, you had been leaning against the lockers next to Caspians as he grabbed everything that he needed for the next lesson, you watched as the new girl was shown around the school. “Oh hi.” She waved eyes not moving from Caspian. “Oh no.” Nicole said as she looked between the two of you. “That’s Casper the unfriendly goth and his guard dog.” “Caspian.” He introduced himself with the correct name. “Oh like Narnia.” She joked and he nodded. You didn’t listen to what was actually said from there on, you watched her frowning, you wanted to believe that she was genuinely interested in him but your brain immediately asked why someone like her was interested in someone like him having just walked into the school. You were pulled out of your thoughts when he nudged you to start moving. “Oh, Hannah!” She called as she turned back to Nicole. “Like Montana.” He mumbled more to himself. “She seemed cool.” Caspian said as he looked back at her and you raised an eyebrow. “Cool? Is that the new word for pretty?” You asked. “Stop.” He narrowed his eyes at you while nestling his skateboard under his arm as you turned towards the next class. “Alright but ‘like Montana’ really?” You asked. “Shut up.” He couldn’t stop the smile pulling across his face as he pushed you towards the door for the next class.

The next day everything seemed to be normal, you walked into school and met Caspian at the gates. “You won’t believe what I found on that conspiracy site.” He said. “It’s too early for this.” You mumbled rubbing at your eyes trying to get yourself to wake up. “Oh come on!” He pleaded as you opened your locker. “Don’t come on me, I have no parents, the only reason I’m here is you, that should be enough.” You joked, you heard him shuffling before he pulled out your favourite snack. “What did you find?” Though it was framed as a give and take, you would have heard him out either way you’ve never been able to say no to him, not since you’ve been old enough to know what it was like to be in love with your best friend. “Someone thinks the Logorhythms faked their Dad’s death and is holding him hostage.” He explained. “Faked his death?” You asked “where would they be holding him and for what?” “I don’t know I didn’t ask but you remember there was a proposition logical problem and I solved it?” Caspian asked. “Mmm.” You hummed, closing your locker and making your way to his. “The images that they sent, it looks like her Dad is communicating the same way that AngryAngel did.” He explained “so I sent the pictures to them.” “And?” You asked. “Well nothing yet.” He answered. “Yes if you get kidnapped and imprisoned by some tech company, I will storm the building to get you back.” You dramatically declared and he rolled his eyes. “Not what I was asking.” He rolled his eyes. “Alright so what are you asking?” You asked. “What do you think?” He asked. “I think that it’s very unlikely.” You answered honestly. “But let’s be honest nothing is completely impossible… How was last night? You text and said your Dad was home.” “Ehh.” He shrugged “he ate and then he left.” “Mhm.” You hummed. “Don’t worry about it.” He dismissed your concern as he always did, walking into class, you moved to your assigned seat regrettably halfway across the room from Caspian. “Okay, everyone settle down, yesterday we were talking about Orlando’s love for Rosalind and it represents just one of the many types of love Shakespeare highlights in the play. For the next phase of our analysis, we’re going to break into groups of two, so everyone find a partner.” Your teacher said. “Guess it’s you and me.” You glanced up at a boy you recognised from class not that you cared to even know his name. “Why?” You asked. “She wants some time with your boy, without his guard dog around.” He smirked, jutting his head towards Hannah talking to Caspian, she’d pulled over a table and they seemed to be well into their discussion. “So can I sit or…” “Whatever.” You pulled your feet up into a crossed leg position on the chair leaning forward, ready to do all the work for the project since you were sure that he knew literally nothing.

“Are we still doing that movie night tomorrow?” You asked. “Oh um.” Caspian avoided looking at you and you knew the moment that he started fumbling. “You hanging out with… what’s her face?” You clicked your thumb and middle finger as if trying to remember her name, when in reality all it was doing was running around your head in circles. “Hannah.” He answered. “Don’t do that.” He muttered. “Don’t do what?” You asked. “Stop.” He was a little too smart for the games that normal people played as teens when dancing around their feelings. “Yeah, it’s fine I’ll just watch it on my own.” You finally answered. “Hey maybe we can-” “No it’s fine honestly, have fun.” You waved him off before heading off home.

The next day went as all the others did, when you got home you threw your bag onto the chair in the living room deciding to get changed and eat something before sitting down to finish the rest of the project that needed handing in. You were about an hour in before there was a knock on the door, you frowned as you opened the door to Caspian “I thought you were supposed to be with Hannah.” You said. “My parents scared her off.” He answered. “Your dad was home?” You asked. “Pushed my mum.” He answered. “She’s okay?” You asked. “Yeah.” He nodded. “And you're okay?” You moved out of the way allowing him into the house. “Yeah, he didn’t touch me.” He answered walking in. “Wait I thought you were watching that movie, it looks like your doing the project.” “Well my partner has no intention of working with me.” You explained as you walked towards the sofa where everything was spread out. “Oh yeah.” He nodded. “Look I’m-” “Don’t apologise for making other friends, just please be careful, there’s something going on here, I don’t know what it is but there is something going on.” You explained. “Is it so hard to believe that she might just be interested in me?” Caspian asked. “No it’s not, trust me it’s not but I don’t trust her.” You shrugged. “So you're jealous?” He asked. “Excuse me?” You asked. “You know you’ve had a rough evening, I’m not going to make it any worse but when you're ready to talk to me, you let me know.” You said picking up your laptop to continue with your work, he stood there for a second before disappearing out the door, your eyes cast down to your hands as you fought tears.

Over the next few days you only grew apart, your life became very monotonous, you went to school, you went home. You didn’t have any other friends so there was no one else to hang out with, instead you watched and rewatched old shows and movies. Caspian seemed happy with Hannah and you hated yourself for being angry about it, it wasn’t about you, he should be happy and you should be happy for him. You had for a long time wished that it might be you that made him that happy but it seemed like it was just not in the cards.

One afternoon you came home from school, everything seemed normal at first, that is until you walked into the living room to find Caspian hunched over your demolished laptop “I hope you're upgrading that as part of an apology.” You decided not to start a fight immediately. “Are you one of them?” He asked. “Excuse me?” You asked. “Answer the question.” He ordered, standing from where he was sitting in front of. “I don’t know what you're talking about Cas.” You answered honestly. “What’s this about, did something happen?” He looked at you for a second before looking back at your laptop. “I found these in my computer and my phone.” He explained holding up 2 small chips, you stepped closer looking at the little chip that said Logorhythms in small letters. “Okay so why did you think I had something to do with that, I still need you to sort out my tech problems.” You reminded him as you looked at the laptop in pieces on the table. “I went looking for my mum after I found this, I found her at the Civic Centre with Hannah.” He explained. “They were talking about me… About what I talked to her about.” “What you talked to Hannah about?” You asked. “Mhm.” He hummed. “So you thought that I was working with them too?” You asked. “I didn’t know what to trust.” He answered. “Well why don’t you talk to Hannah about it?” You asked. “Your mum’s not going to tell you anything but she might, especially if she’s new to all this.” “Why are you helping me, after everything that happened?” He asked. “Cas I’m not your enemy, never have been. I am, however, going to be real mad at you if you can’t fix that.” You informed him, jutting your head towards the laptop. “I can fix that.” He promised “Look I’m sorry about everything, you were right and I didn’t listen to you.” “No it’s fine I sounded like a jealous best friend, who-” You stopped yourself from talking realising that you almost outed yourself. “Who what?” He asked, he was a little too sharp for his own good and you knew that he was not going to let it go. “Don’t you have to meet up with Hannah, find out what’s going on?” You asked. “Who what?” He asked, stepping forward causing you to step back. “Can you maybe not make me say it?” You asked. “I need you to say it.” He almost pleaded, his hand coming up to rest on your cheek, thumb gently running back and forth. “Do you know what ‘it’ is?” You asked. “I have an idea.” He was so close now, you had to look up to make eye contact and his other hand had come to rest on the back of your head keeping you in place. “I’d really like to be more than friends.” You finally said and what you saw was the realist smile you had seen in a long time. “More than friends?” He asked. “Don’t make-” You were cut off by him pressing his lips to yours in an almost bruising kiss one hand dropping to your waist to keep you close. “Cas we have to find out what’s going on.” You reminded him between kisses as you tried to get him to pull back. “I will, I’ll talk to her tomorrow, I still need to fix your laptop.” He said dismissively, leaning back in. “Alright.” You pulled away placing your hand over his mouth, you could feel him smirking “you're very good at that.” “At kissing?” He asked, eyebrows raised, his voice muffled and you rolled your eyes. “You need to end things with Hannah and you need to fix that laptop, the rest is up to you.” You informed him as he pulled your hand from his mouth. “I’ll talk to Hannah tomorrow, I’ll fix your laptop tonight.” He promised, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “Happy?” “Happy.” You nodded.

*Part 2*

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[witchygagirlwrites]

Broken Bonds-Part 16

Former(ish) Greg "Mouse" Gerwitz x Reader, BabyDaddy! Jay Halstead x Reader

You're getting everything in line to return to work and facing the fact that your feelings for Jay hasn't faded as you've healed. They've gotten stronger. Have you fallen for him while you still love Mouse?

Once Jay’s vacation time was up you found yourself yet again having to find a new normal. It was so weird not going to work because you’d literally worked until the day your water broke. You and him ended up deciding that you would start slowly getting Addy used to his place as well as yours, a couple nights a week. You had also taken to using his place for naps if you were closer to there than yours when that time hit if you were out and about. It was a way for her to get used to both cribs and environments, even though a part of you screamed “THIS IS A BAD IDEA” when he’d given you a key to his apartment and you’d given him a key to yours.

It was a precaution for Addy, that was all. You would never intrude on his privacy nor him yours. So maybe you’d dozed off in his bed a time or two after hitting the gym heavy? It wasn’t like he cared. Heck the time he’d come home to find you curled up in the middle of his bed he hadn’t even bothered waking you up, you ended up realizing he’d got off early about an hour later when you woke up and walked out into the living room to find him laid across the couch with Addy on his chest. That hadn’t made your heart flip in your chest at seeing him content at just laying with her after a work day, nor did your heart skip a beat when he noticed your presence and smiled before saying “Look baby girl, mommy’s up”

You were back with Dr Charles once a week just to try to regulate your emotions and it seemed to be helping. Postpartum was staying in check. You were eating like you were supposed to and keeping hydrated and working out again. You and Addy were bonded and you had a damn good support system, all in all you couldn’t have had your pregnancy go better. You placed a large amount of that on Jay. He’d been your cornerstone in everything, from the moment you placed those hospital papers in his hands. 

He could’ve walked away. He could’ve fallen back and simply been there for doctors appointments and the delivery. He could’ve just been the position of Adeline’s father but no he’d been everything to you during the pregnancy. He was your protector, your friend, your shadow every step of the way. If you looked too hard at how you truly felt about him you were afraid your entire world may come crashing down on top of you because the fact was that the feelings you had for him were slowly becoming obvious that they were more than just him being Addy’s father.

You couldn’t look too hard at how your heart was functioning because how the hell were you supposed to trust an organ that thudded wildly in your chest when it heard Mouse’s voice only to have the same reaction when Jay would brush an innocent kiss against your temple? You knew what love was, knew how it felt, knew how to recognize it but what the hell was your body doing to you?

“Thanks for watching her for a couple hours, Stel. I just gotta get my recert” you were zeroing in fast on your six week mark so you were lining up appointments to get everything done. Today was the firing range to get recertified, at least this year you weren’t shooting next to Jay.You were a damn good shot but next to him? You always looked bad.

She smiled as she took Addy out of her carrier “Are you kidding me? I get to hang out with my best friend all day! Isn’t that right baby girl? You’re Aunt Stella’s best friend” Addy cooed at her lightly and you laughed “Guess she agrees. I’ve got to get my physical done, along with my six week check up in a couple days and she has to go the pediatrician”

Stella nodded then cut her eyes up at you “I love her with my entire heart but you’re getting an IUD aren’t you?” You laughed lightly “You bet your ass I am. I don’t want another incident happening any time soon” she grinned, holding Addy to her chest “Although if it was Jay’s at least we know he’s all in” 

You narrowed your eyes at her and she shrugged “I’m just making an observation. How are things going anyways? Kelly isn’t here. Just us and I don’t think Addy is to the point of gossiping yet”  You ran your hand over Addy’s hair and shook your head “I’ve gotta get going. I can’t go to my recert test with a headache and getting into that right now may cause that” she laughed and shook her head “Ok, I’ll let it go…for now” 

You smiled “Thank you” and kissed her cheek “I love you” then kissed Addy’s forehead “And I love you” you glanced at the clock “I’ll be back by three” Stella nodded “Take your time. I have no plans” 

Sometimes you hated working for Voight simply because so many people held a damn beef for the man that was one sided. They hated him and he’d have to make some phone calls just to find out who the hell they were. The guy doing the recert was one of those. He was busting your balls at every damn turn once he found out you were one of Hank’s detectives.

When you’d finished the tenth target with nearly perfect marks and he set up for more you felt like you may very well shoot him. “Sir, what exactly is the issue? You’ve let three men recert that got less than half the marks I have” you asked, not caring because he’d pushed you too far. He raised his eyebrows “Can’t finish princess?” and you felt your blood boil  “Set them up”

While he prepped the targets you sent Jay a text Lukas Paulson, recert instructor. Busting my absolute balls. Paulson wasn’t done setting up targets when his phone started ringing. You watched, trying to bite back a smirk “Yes sir...yes sir..yes sir..”

He hung up and glared at you “Congratulations Detective Kidd. You’re recertified” he signed off on the tablet in front of him and emailed you a copy. You smiled “Thank you” just as you turned to walk out your phone chimed so you checked it as you got to your jeep Taken care of

You truly had just intended to vent or see if Voight knew him but Jay had done one better. He’d gotten either Voight or someone else to back him down. You glanced down when you got in your jeep. That same old polaroid still had its place along with the ultrasound Of Addy and one of her newborn photos. Yeah it was normal to have Mouse’s photo on your dash and your first reaction at something going on was to let Jay know. Totally normal reaction…yeah right.  You shook your head and sent back Thank you before bucking up and pulling out onto the road.

Jay smiled when the text from you came in. According to Voight, Paulson was still sore that once upon a time his son had set his sights on Intelligence. He hadn’t liked it when he was shut down and he really hadn’t liked it when he learned there were three females in the unit. You getting him for a recert was a bad luck of the draw and Voight was more than happy to remind him that it wouldn’t take but a phone call to have his son down to a mall cop if he was lucky.

Why he’d thought messing with one of the unit was a good idea was beyond Jay. Why he thought messing with you in particular was just idiotic. Kevin tossed a piece of balled up paper at his head to get his attention “When am I getting my partner back man?” he looked up at him and held up the phone “recert was today, six week check up and physical is in three days. All goes like it should her first day back will be monday of next week”

“When is she gonna bring Addy by? I haven’t seen her in like a week?” Kim asked and he laughed “I don’t know. She doesn’t want to bring her here because she knows it would disrupt any work getting done” Hailey slid back from her desk to look over at him “Bet I could get her to bring Addy to see me” he narrowed his eyes “Stay away her Upton, I swear..”

Adam cracked up laughing “Aww Halstead’s jealous. It’s adorable” Jay shook his head “I am not jealous. Hailey just keeps trying to marry the mother of my child and it’s getting a little weird” Hailey laughed “So this means you won’t give me away or?” and grinned when he glared at her. He knew it was in good humor but he was honestly starting to get a little jealous. You weren’t his, not really but dammit you were his something. 

When he looked at you, he felt something that he didn’t think could be explained away by the fact that you gave birth to his child. You were always his friend, his partner. Being there when you found out you were pregnant was as simple of a decision as breathing. Throughout the pregnancy there wasn’t a moment he didn’t find himself craving to be at your side. He’d never slept better than with you in his arms, feeling Addy kick. The innocent touches you’d allowed and chaste kisses to the temple or cheek drove his heart up the wall. Holding you in his arms while you brought the child the two of you made into the world? He didn’t have the words to describe how that felt. He just hoped Stella didn’t confront him again because when she asked before he hadn’t had a firm answer in his head but he did now and he wasn’t ready to look at it, ready to face it.

Another text came through and this one was a photo of Addy wearing a fireman onesie Help! Stella is tryin to convert our baby!! He felt a smile tug to his face and texted back Is this a bad time to mention Will got her pjs that look like scrubs? And you just sent back a face palm emoji. 

Hailey popped up over his shoulder “Is that my wife texting? It’s gotta be for you to be smiling like that” he shook his head and nudged her off his shoulder “My track record with partners is just getting weird at this point”  and looked back at his phone as another text came through, this one was from Stella and obvious that you hadn’t known she’d snapped the photo. You were turned sideways on her couch with your feet curled up under you and Addy on your chest. Your entire attention was on her and the smile on your face made his heart skip.  He saved both the solo photo of Addy and the one of you and her to his phone. 

He had about a dozen photos of you from different points in your pregnancy that he kept. Some you were at work, handling business as usual but others you were simply lounging around your apartment in a camisole and boxers that didn’t hide your baby belly one bit. He especially loved those because he knew for a fact only him and Stella got to see that. There was even a couple from the baby shower that Stella had snapped of you and him, citing that Addy needed to see how good of a relationship her parents had while she was “cooking”, his favorite one? You weren’t even looking at him in the photo, you were deep in conversation with Adam and Kevin but you were leaned back against him with your hands on your stomach and looked so at ease as if you trusted him to protect you from anything. 

Voight walking to his office door broke Jay out of his thoughts to give his sergeant his attention “Listen up, We got a call to respond to a fire on the south side. Fifty one went in and found a body. Gear up, we roll in five” 

When Stella told you about the fire fifty one responded to you texted Jay to check on the unit, knowing that case would get kicked their way. You managed to get back to your apartment and Addy unbundled before he texted back to let you know everyone was ok and to ask if he could stop by after work. You reminded him he had a key if you happened to already be asleep by the time he got off then set about the rest of your day.

____________________

You were sitting on the couch with Addy on your chest, reading your emails. There were a few from the district, mainly just checklists reminding you everything needed before you could come off maternity leave. There was one from the pediatrician reminding you of Addy’s appointment and one from Dr Asher’s office reminding you of your own. After you responded and confirmed everything you needed to, a new email came through and you froze with your thumb over the envelope when you saw Mouse’s name. 

Addy started to squirm so you stood up and put her in her swing to give her time off of you. She’d worn herself out during tummy time so she wasn’t up for much but you were trying to keep her up long enough Jay could see her because he’d texted you saying he only had thirty minutes top and that was twenty minutes ago.

____________

You sat on the floor in front of her swing and clicked on the email. You were a lot of things but a coward wasn’t one of them. How’s the prettiest mom in Chicago? I spoke to Jay last week, he said you’re amazing with her. I’m not surprised. You sound happy when we talk, especially when I can hear her and I couldn’t ask for more than that. I hope I can meet her too when I get back in Chicago before heading to Georgia, if it’s ok with you and Jay. I just wanted to check in with you. I’ll try to call you next week or so. Love Always, Gerwitz

You read the message twice over, a smile slipping onto your face. Of course he could meet Addy while he was in town. Hell if he planned on seeing you and Jay it was unavoidable but the fact that he made a point of letting you know he wanted to meet her meant something to you. You emailed back Don’t know about the prettiest mom but I’ll take it. I’m doing good. I go back to work soon. Jay just swears I’m amazing because I can change her diaper and make a bottle at the same time. She makes me happy, so much has gone wrong but she is everything good. Of course you can meet her. Thank you for checking in. Look forward to talking to you. Love Always, Kidd

The moment you hit send you heard a knock at the door and checked the time. Hopefully that was Jay because Addy had just yawned again. You laid your phone on the couch then stood and walked across the room, pushing her carrier out of the way with your food before unlocking the door. Jay stood on the other side and honestly looked exhausted “That bad?” you asked and he wiped a hand down his face “Be glad you’re not back yet. Where’s our baby girl? Please tell me she’s not asleep yet?”

You stepped back to let him in and motioned towards her swing “Nope, she’s holding on to be able to see her daddy” he grinned proudly, the tiredness peeling back at hearing Addy was still awake “Of course she is” you shook your head and closed the door, watching as he walked over to her swing and hit the button to turn it off before getting her out of it.

He pulled her into his arms and the moment she was against his chest you saw the muscles in his shoulders loosen. “Hey sweetheart, I missed you” he whispered against her head before sitting down on the couch. You didn’t want to move from your spot, standing right by the door because the picture of father and daughter was too perfect to disturb but Jay raised his voice to normal speaking level to tell Addy “Your mommy needs to come sit down too, I want to check on both of my girls before I head home tonight”

He glanced over his shoulder at you and you smiled “Ok, I get the point” you pushed off from the door and walked around the other end of the couch to sit next to Jay, leaving a half of a cushion between the two of you, He leaned back with her then turned his eyes towards you “Now what did  Paulson say to you?” you knew that look in his eyes. He wanted to have a little talk with him. You shook your head “Nothing that matters, he changed his tune quick after that phone call” he grinned “Probably so considering Voight told him if he screwed with anyone out of his unit again he’d make sure that son of his would have trouble finding work as a mall cop” 

“Wow, you got our sergeant calling to threaten people for me? Maybe Dr Asher was right, every woman needs the father of her child to be like you” you laughed and he smiled “Just doing my job here sweetheart. Besides you know how Voight is, he’s the only one who can bust our asses” “That is true” you laughed and Jay resituated on the couch so he was turned towards you and could have Addy on his chest and offer you a place on his chest to lay as well.

You turned to lay against his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat under your ear. “Mouse wants to meet Addy” you refused to keep anything like that from him. He nodded, chin brushing your head “I know, he mentioned it last week” one of your hands came up to his chest and he simply cut his eyes at you when you pulled the chain of his pendant free to run it through your fingers “You do know most people fidget with their own jewelry as a nervous habit?” 

You shrugged “I can’t lay on you and play with my ring unless you want me to sit up” “Continue playing with the chain” he whispered, Addy nuzzling into his chest as he spoke. “She still loves your voice” you pointed out and he grinned at you “You must like my voice well enough too, you asked me to keep talking to you while you were in labor” 

You ducked your head slightly, why you were embarrassed at that considering was beyond you. “Your voice kind of has a soothing effect Jay” His grin softened and his hand ran up your back, rubbing gentle circles “Good” 

What the hell was wrong with you? You were just emailing Mouse, telling him you loved him and was looking forward to seeing him and now you were cuddling with Jay. The change in mood must have shown because Jay’s face fell slightly before he nodded towards Addy “Let’s get her to her crib”

____________

Once Addy was laid in her crib and sleeping steadily you grabbed the baby monitor out of your room and walked back into the living room, even though her door was open you wanted to make sure you heard her. 

Jay was leaning on the kitchen counter, drinking a bottle of water when you walked out. He sat the bottle down then held his hand out towards you so you walked closer to him, letting him pull you into a hug “You’re overthinking again” he guessed and you cut your eyes up at him “That’s rude to read minds Halstead”

He laughed lightly “I can’t read minds but you? You I can read. What happened?” you shook your head “Talking about Mouse” “While being comfortable with me?” he guessed and you nodded. 

He sighed slightly, rubbing your lower back “It’s ok to be comfortable with me. I’m not gonna hurt you and if you decide to get back with him I’m not going to change how I act towards you. I will still be right here as much as you need me. You and Addy are my girls” you lowered your face to his shoulder, trying to ignore the feelings those words made flare to life in you. His girls. You liked being his girls. You were in love with Mouse but loved being Jay’s girl. You weren’t the woman you thought you were. 

“Hey, talk to me here” he spoke softly and you laughed, leaning back to look up at him “You’re such an amazing man Jay. My god I know Erin had gone through hell but I have no clue how she walked away from you” his eyes widened but the smile he gave you was so soft you’d only previously seen it pointed at Addy “Well if she hadn’t walked away from me and Mouse hadn’t left you we wouldn’t have Adeline so I say any heartache was worth it”

His eyes flickered from yours down to your lips and you found your eyes doing the same. You remembered how his lips felt against you, his hands on your body teasing and light then heavier, nearly bruising from his strength but holding back just enough to make sure he didn’t hurt you. The way his mouth had mapped out every scar on your body, every birthmark he’d never seen and every inch that made you gasp and squirm under him. 

He broke away first and cleared his throat “I um..I need to get home. I’ll come by before work?” you nodded a little too quickly, stepping out of his arms “Yeah, that’s fine” he smiled “Night Y/N” “Night Jay” he leaned down and pressed a kiss to your temple before heading to the door “I’ll text you when I get home” “Ok” you barely managed to get the words out but you did.

Once the door closed behind him you walked over to secure the locks and realized your hands were shaking. What the hell had just nearly happened?

“It’s been three days and he hasn’t mentioned it?” Stella asked and you shook your head. “Maybe I just imagined it? I mean I was in my head at the moment” you shrugged, looking over at Addy who was fast asleep in her bassinet. Stella had come over before her shift started and before you had to go to yours and Addy’s appointments.

She raised an eyebrow “I doubt that. Jay Halstead looks at you like you hung the freakin moon. Yeah most of that could be that you gave him his daughter but I think it’s more than that” You froze with your coffee mug halfway to your lips “What?” her eyes widened “Nothing. I said nothing.I’m only here as your big sister and little miss Adeline’s aunt”

“Stella Kidd-Severide. You tell me right now” you urged and she shrugged “I have seen men fall for you! Jay’s best friend included. It’s easy to see and I don’t think I’m imagining it. I’m not speaking on Jay’s feelings or lack thereof but I will say this, if you keep beating yourself up for this it’s apparent there’s something there. I don’t know what’s in your heart. I don’t care who you’re with as long as Addy is taken care of and you’re happy you could have a harem” “STELLA!” you laughed, looking to make sure you hadn’t woken up Addy.

She laughed then shrugged “I mean it. I don’t care, you’re my sister.I will defend you to anyone but I can’t protect you from beating yourself up. If you still love Mouse that’s ok. If you’ve fallen in love with Jay, that’s ok too. Falling back into that hole? That’s not ok” Hearing the words out loud, even her speaking them made your heart try to escape from your chest. A small smile slipped onto your face at her protective tone “You would really fight anyone for me wouldn’t you?” she laughed “Heck yeah and I got a husband who would be right there with me and I know Kevin Atwater is ready to ride when it comes to you”

She pulled you into a hug then checked her watch “Crap, we both gotta get a move on!” you looked at the time and grimaced “Shoot, we really do. At least all my appointments are in the same place” she nodded “That helps”

Your goal was to sneak into the twenty first, drop your all clear off with Trudy then sneak out. Easy, right? Yeah right. Cops were worse than old women when it came to keeping a secret.

You parked your jeep in front so intelligence would hopefully not spot it. You unhooked her carrier from the base and tucked your all clear paperwork in your hip pocket before heading up the stairs that led inside. You smiled at a patrolman that held the door for you “Thanks” he nodded “Nice to see Detective Kidd”

__________

You walked inside and the moment you crossed the threshold you heard Trudy “Is that the cutest baby in all of Chicago gracing my house?” you smiled as you walked up the stairs, holding a finger to your lips. You cut your eyes at the stairs “I’m trying to sneak here Trutru”

She nodded and motioned for you to come around her desk. You sat Addy’s carrier down and she looked at you for the ok to get her. You nodded and she quickly undid the safety restraints and had her out and in her arms “My god she gets prettier every time I see her!” you smiled, running your fingers down Addy’s back “Thank you, I feel like it’s just me and Jay being partial when we say that’ she shook her head “Nope, she is gorgeous”

You held up your all clear “I got a present! You get me back on monday!” Trudy smiled “Thank god. I’m sick of seeing those two pout” “Two?” you asked and she nodded “Atwater with no partner and Halstead with no you” you shook your head “Jay’s just jealous I had four extra weeks with more time with her”

She passed Addy to you then took the all clear and grabbed a file from her desk and flipped it open “Sign these three and you’re clear” you moved Addy to your left side and signed where she pointed.

She smiled “Happy to have my favorite detective back” “Thank you” You heard the gate blocking intelligence pop and your eyes popped right before you heard Kevin calling for Trudy “Crap”

“You know he’s gonna see you” she whispered and you sighed “Maybe he won’t snitch?” you followed her out around the corner and Kevin’s eyes got wide along with his smile “There’s my favorite girls” he came around the desk to hug you and ran a hand over Addy’s head.

You smiled up at him “And you’re not gonna tell Jay I was here right?” he looked from you to Trudy and you knew that look. That was Kevin’s “Why can’t I?” look. “C’mon Kev!” you begged and he shrugged “I know he’ll wanna see her and everyone else wants to see her”

You sighed “And if it interrupts the work day or a call comes in?” Trudy spoke up “They’ll roll out. Not that big of a deal” you looked between them before finally giving up. There was no way Jay wasn’t finding out you were here without telling him. “Kev, grab her carrier. Trudy buzz me up”

____________

“Go!” you heard Trudy tell Kevin who was at your side by the time the gate popped, holding Addy’s carrier and holding the gate open. You playfully glared at him “You’re my best friend and willing to snitch” he laughed “Lil mama I wouldn’t tell on you for big stuff but for this? She was almost born here. She deserves to see it”

You walked up the stairs and could hear everyone’s voices drifting down. When you made it to the top step it was nearly comical at their reaction because everyone froze mid sentence. Jay was sitting on the edge of Adam’s desk, Kim was sitting on Hailey’s and Voight was at the board. When they spotted you all five of them turned and smiles slipped onto their faces. “Adeline!” Kim and Hailey were the first up and to your side, even beating Jay.

Hailey asked to hold her so you let her. Her and Kim were absolutely gushing over her when Jay got to you “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” you cut your eyes at Kevin “I was going to drop something off and leave but someone planned to tell you” Jay looked at Kevin and grinned “My man”

Voight nodded to you “Kidd, do I get you back monday?” you nodded “Yes sir” he smiled “Good” then walked towards Hailey and Kim “Give me my granddaughter” Jay slipped an arm around your waist and whispered “Told ya it would go to his head” you laughed lightly,watching how Voight was such a different man when it came to babies “It’s kinda cute”

Jay shook his head and kissed your temple “How was her six week?” you smiled “Perfect marks all around”  he nodded “And yours?” you groaned “My side is killing me” his eyes flickered over your body like he did after takedowns when he was clocking you for injuries “Why?” “I’ll tell ya later” you laughed.

__________

After about half an hour they had to roll out because a tip came in. Jay of course wanted to walk you to your jeep despite your protests so fully geared out he carried Addy out and buckled her into the base. You shook your head “She’s gonna have to deal with so many girls having crushes on her hot dad when she gets older”

He shot you a smirk “Easy there, someone may get the idea you like me a little” you laughed “Wouldn’t want anyone thinking that” he closed her door then looked at you “I gotta go. I’ll see you later” You nodded “Be careful” and leaned up to press a kiss to his cheek. He smiled because normally he was the one to kiss you somewhere. “I will” he promised before heading to meet up with Hailey at his truck. You watched him for a moment before climbing in your jeep to head home.

“You didn’t have to ride in with me” you told Jay for the third time. He’d shown up to your apartment originally because the plan was for the two of you to follow each other to daycare to drop Addy off to her first day together. 

“I can ride with Hailey on calls and besides I’m going to want to go with you to pick her up to see how her first day went” he shrugged and you shook your head. You were worried too, not so much about the daycare but about being away from her. This was the longest you’d been without her just being at Jay’s for a night and this was the first time for you two leaving her with anyone outside of Stella.

He reached his hand across the console and you slipped yours into it “She’ll be fine sweetheart” he assured you and you smiled “Telling me or yourself that?” he shrugged one shoulder “Both?”

You and him both could watch the security feed at any time, Stella or Will could drop in and check on her. Chloe was there at the daycare. You were just worrying. Let a call come in and adrenaline hit and you’d be fine. Jay squeezed your hand gently “Worried you got rusty?”

You gasped playfully and snatched your hand away from his “We’ll see who’s rusty Halstead. Bet I could take your feet out from under you just fine” he raised an eyebrow “Bet you could” and you snapped your mouth shut. Yeah you walked into that one. “We gotta sign H.R. paperwork too” you reminded him.

Voight had a stack of H.R. paperwork you and Jay were required to fill out since you had a child together and worked in the same unit. You had to agree to never partner. You had to name legal guardians who custody would go to should something happen to the two of you and both of you were setting up accounts so if something happened any money would go into it for either the other to use for expenses or to keep for her. 

“Yeah. Stella and Kelly are good choices” they were your pick for legal guardians and after considering it Jay had agreed. When you approached them Stella had cried, Kelly shook Jay’s hand and told him “I hope it never comes to it but know we’ll take care of her if it does”

You felt his eyes on you through two traffic lights so when the third was red you cut your eyes at him “It’s rude to stare” he grinned “I was thinking” you cut him off with a groan “Last time you said those words to me I ended up getting pregnant” 

He laughed “Oh I remember…but no I was thinking how much things have changed. We’re parents talking about living wills and choosing guardians for our daughter…it’s insane” you nodded, turning the jeep into the parking lot where all of intelligence used “Especially when you remember there’s still so much more coming”

He knew what you meant because he nodded “Should be around the second week of August” you swallowed hard before parking next to Adam’s car and killing the engine. You cut your eyes at him “That’s still months away. I’m not worrying about that bridge until I get to it. The elephant is eaten best one bite at a time”

“You can tell you’ve gotten back in with Dr Charles” he teased with a small smile before you both climbed out the jeep to head towards the back entrance that led up. He bumped his shoulder against yours as you walked across the parking lot and added “Just remember when you get to that bridge I’m with you no matter what. If you need help with it, I’m there” 

“I know Jay” you assured him with a smile before he grabbed the door and held it open for you so you ducked under his arm to step inside and he walked in after you. 

@desimarie12

Part 17

@allisonargent144

@nevaehstreater18

[sandwhitches]

𝗛𝗘𝗟𝗟𝗢, 𝗚𝗢𝗢𝗗𝗕𝗬𝗘! (𝗮𝘁𝘀𝘂𝗺𝘂 𝗺𝗶𝘆𝗮 𝘅 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝘀𝗺𝗮𝘂)

II. “parent trap” ✧ (contains written portion under cut)

warnings: (16+) language, implications of alcohol consumption, references to smoking, sexual allusions

<- prev. | m. list | next ->

this all must be a joke. one big and entirely unfunny joke. the set up? you walking into bokuto and kuroo’s party thinking nothing terribly odd would happen. the punchline? running smack into atsumu miya, a sizable red splotch from the cheap liquor he drank staining your new blouse.

before you could wait for the laughter, you found your wrist seized in an urgent grip that dragged you to the tiny bathroom tucked at the end of the hallway. atsumu miya, the last person you wished to spend your night with, is hastily running a rag under the whooshing mouth of the water faucet. if you weren’t already of the predisposition that atsumu was incapable of such flagrant displays of empathy, you could almost believe that he felt sorry.

“shit-“ he’s been rambling nervously for the past thirty seconds since he’d spilled his drink all over you, “here, try this.” calloused hands wring out the sopping rag and offer it to you, nodding to the stain upon your chest.

words tumble to the tip of your tongue, only to stagnate as you meet eyes with him and fully comprehend what’s happening. how you got to this point is beyond you, and you don’t think you’ll ever catch up with it. you shake your head, “it won’t work if it’s just water.” though, you still find yourself making a useless attempt to scrub at the fabric, feeling as though you might only be making it worse.

“hand soap?” he inquires, picking up the dish soap which apparently doubles as such, and you can’t help but think about how bokuto and kuroo practically live like heathens. you set your jaw firmly, “it’s okay, i really wasn’t planning on staying long.” you don’t really mean it, but, you will say anything to get out of this situation.

your chest constricts as atsumu lets out an incredulous scoff, “nah, you shouldn’t hafta leave just ‘cus of that.” you’d never realized how different he was until that very moment.

when you thought about atsumu, you thought about the boy you used to know all those years back. the one who terrified you. the atsumu who tugged on your hair in the lunch line, who launched crumpled up papers scribbled with awful notes into the back of your head, the boy who called you every nasty name a child could come up with and do it with a smile on his face.

but now, it wasn’t like that. for only a brief, fleeting moment, he was just a stranger. like the dark or rollercoasters, not as scary as they used to be now that you’re older. everything seems to click for only a moment, ideas bleeding into your mind about all the things you thought wrong of him.

your train of thought was cut short by a furious pounding at the door, followed by an angry hurry up in there!

“well,” atsumu’s eyes suddenly glint with something alarming, and everything you were thinking up until that point dissipates like mist. he reaches for the hem of his shirt, tugging it over his blond head of hair without a second thought. you yelp, covering your eyes like an awkward teenager.

“what? can’t handle it?” he snickers, hands working at turning the shirt right side out, “what are you doing?” you hiss, dropping your hands to your sides like weights.

don’t look at his six-pack, don’t look at his six-pack, don’t-

“i can’t.” you blurt out, staring down in horror at the shirt he is offering. atsumu snorts, “no, seriously, take it.” he nudges it closer to you, dangling it tauntingly. you shake your head, “you can’t just walk around shirtless.”

atsumu raises a brow, lips pulling into a lopsided grin that seems terrifyingly familiar, “why? i don’t think anyone would mind.” he waggles his brows suggestively and your stomach churns at the fact that he can somehow still manage to look like an asshole while quite literally giving you the shirt off of his back.

in surrender, you take the shirt, pinching at the soft white fabric. atsumu hums, head tilting ever so slightly as he watched you pull it over your head without further argument. “see? much better, hm?” the idea of affirming this made your head hurt, so you opted for silence instead, which seemed to do nothing to deter him.

there is a certain shine in his eyes that wasn’t there before. atsumu miya is absolutely unpredictable and unreadable and that is the scariest fucking thing in the world to you. a series of sharp raps at the door interrupts once again, almost allowing you to forget about the strange feeling that crept up your back and heated the nape of your neck. something akin to fear, but a fear so carnal it almost felt like desire.

nope! not happening!

“okay, fuck!” atsumu shouts back at whoever is pounding at the door, reaching to thumb at the lock on the knob. “um-“ you start, your fists balling nervously at your sides until your nails bite into the meat of your palms. he glances over his shoulder at you, pausing his ministrations to listen. the rush you get from this sudden beacon of undivided attention is exactly why you need to stay away from atsumu miya.

“thanks.” you mumble.

“don’t mention it.” atsumu smirks, shouldering into the door to open it and disappearing into the crowded hallway before you can even figure out why his smile had faltered just for a second upon your weak display of gratitude.

earlier you had thought that atsumu spilling his drink all over you was the punchline, but you were woefully wrong. that was just the set up to the best joke of the night: standing in perfect view of the bathroom, your friends all stare at you clambering out of the room after atsumu, wearing his shirt. akaashi, kuroo, and bokuto are all equally wide-eyed and slack-jawed, drinks long forgotten in their hands. that is the punchline. how the hell are you going to explain this one?

notes:

-> atsumu was probably wearing the stupidest shirt ever but i’ll leave it up to your imagination

-> kuroo and bokuto use dawn dish soap for everything “because of the cute ducks on the bottle” NO YOU MAY NOT USE THAT AS SHAMPOO

-> also if it wasn’t clear enough atsumu, suna & bokuto all play for the university v.ball team >:)

a/n: IM SO SORRY IVE HAD TO UPLOAD THIS MULTIPLE TIMES DUE TO FORMATTING ISSUES TUMBLR IS THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE!!! GAAHHH tysm for all the love on my first chapter!! hope u liked this one!! my creative writing is a little rusty after this terrible paper i just did for my poli sci class i feel like i’m writing like a robot. my third chapter is also done and will most likely be up tomorrow (7/18) sometime in the evening! also about taglists, if u sent an ask i just decided not to respond in case u wanted ur request to be private or smth but i see all ur nice input and it makes me so happy so thank u!!! working on smth not related to this smau too!!

taglist status: open! (comment or send an ask!)

taglist: @honeekyuu @reignsaway @luna-mothii @lumiether

[graveyard-stray]

Since you returned || Thomas Shelby x F!Reader

Includes: Angst, PTSD, mentions of war, violence, and death, mentions of NSFW topics (briefly), swearing and yelling, rejection if you squint, fluff at the end <3

Word count: 2.5k

A/N: I literally JUST started Peaky Blinders and had to write this so if any details are wrong please forgive me!!

NOT PROOFREAD

You and Thomas Shelby had some- history to say the least.

You were practically apart of the Shelby family. Ever since you could walk you were best friends with Arthur, John, Finn, Ada, and of course- Tommy. You were the same age as Ada and grew up next door to the family so you spent lots of time with her, and in turn also her brothers.

You could almost always be found running around the street with the Shelby children, playing stupid games or causing a bit of trouble. The brothers never seemed to really care that you and Ada were girls. I mean sure they would be protective over you with danger or boys, but they didn’t exclude you or limit the activities just cause of your gender- and for this time period, that meant a lot.

Tommy in particular, you had always taken an interest in. He was quieter than the other brothers, and a bit smarter too. He was calm and calculated but also fun and sweet. You knew you could always go to him if you needed something and he had no problem getting into fights to protect you and Ada.

It was a very prominent memory in your mind, the day you realized your crush on Tommy. It was your 13th birthday and he was the first Shelby to arrive at your home to wish you a happy birthday. Even before Ada, who you could only assume was running around with her little boyfriend. Of course you didn’t mind though.

But it was your birthday and you were home alone as your mother was away at work and your father had been dead for years, and you heard a knock on your door. You got up from the table where you sat eating some breakfast and strode towards the door, upon opening it you see a 16 year old Tommy standing infront of you. He smiled down at you. “I believe I owe you, a Happy Birthday” He said rather smug and sarcastically but in a fun and playful manner.

You couldn’t help the smile that emerged from your face as he pulled you into a quick hug, once he drew away from you, he reached into his jacket and pulled out a small box wrapped with some ribbon, “And a little gift for you, of course.” he held the box out towards you. Your face tinted a bit pink as you looked down “oh Tommy you really didn’t have to get me anything.” You insisted. “Oh but of course I did, your 13 years old today, practically an old woman now!” He joked, causing you to giggle sweetly.

You grabbed the box from his hands and unwrapped the ribbon carefully. Your smile grew wide as you opened the box to see a silver bracelet inside. You weren’t sure if it was real but you’d didn’t care of course. What meant a lot to you was the fact it was silver. Everyone usually gave you things colored gold, but you really didn’t like gold. You were just too nice to say anything. Except once- mentioning it offhandedly. You didn’t think any one heard but…he did. He always heard you when you spoke.

“It’s silver, since I know you don’t like gold all that much.” Tommy mentioned as he observed your reaction to the gift. You smiled widely up at him and quickly wrapped your arms around him in another hug. He smiled and hugged you back.

After he left you realized his kindness. He was always kind to you, he listened when you spoke and sometimes you felt like he knew more about you than Ada. And then you can’t forget he is quite handsome.

From that day on your ever waking thought was consumed by Tommy Shelby.

13 YEARS LATER; 1919

Ever since he had returned from the war, Tommy wasn’t the same. He wasn’t Tommy anymore. Tommy Shelby was long gone. This was Mr. Shelby. The leader of the Peaky Blinders and the toughest man in Birmingham.

The day he came back from France you ran to him, you went to give him a hug and to welcome him home but he stepped away, avoiding your embrace. You were confused and a bit concerned at this reaction, taking note of his glare and the almost blank expression that painted his face. The light behind his eyes you knew so well was gone.

His refusal of your hug was exceptionally odd because- before he left you were quite close more so then usually. You were both in your 20s and it was unspoken but there was definitely a bit of tension there. You weren’t sure if he felt the same about you, but you were undeniably in love with him, more than just a grade school crush.

Now though, he was a completely different man. If you were told he was a different person entirely- not even named Thomas Shelby, just with the same face…you might actually believe it.

The fun gaze he possessed before was replaced by a hard glare. The smile you were so familiar with replaced by a constant blank expression or scowl. You could’ve swore you saw him smoking a cigarette 24/7 (although that wasn’t TOO strange for him) His face was thinner, his eyes baggier, and all around you could see that this was a broken man.

You walked into the Shelby family meeting and took a seat next to Aunt Polly. Arthur looked at you and furrowed his brows, “Uh no, this is a family meeting, You are not a Shelby. Your a (l/n).” He scolded you. But you didn’t move or even seem to acknowledge his words.

“(y/n)!” He snapped, attempting to get you to reply. You turned to him slowly, staying in your seat and taking a long drag from your cigarette. “As far as your concerned I am a Shelby. I helped your sister and aunt run this place while you were off in France, and now here I am getting disrespected and have no say? What happened?” You defended yourself, your tone quite unbothered.

Before Arthur could speak Tommy chimed in, “we came back.” He said, answering your question. Your eyes moved to him, “did you though?” You asked rhetorically. He was going to reply but Polly cut him off and began the meeting.

After the meeting ended you were the last to leave, or at least you thought you were. There you sat, in your chair looking out the window, cigarette between your fingers as you got lost in thought.

You were pulled out of your mind by a rough voice behind you, “What the hell do you think your doing?” Tommy asked angrily. “Smoking.” You replied matter a factly.

He scoffed, “you know damn well that ain’t what I mean. Showing up to family meetings and acting like you are one of us, like your a peaky blinder.” He scolded you.

You got up angrily and faced him. “I am a peaky blinder Thomas. While you were away fighting in that damn war I was here! I was here with Polly and Ada, and we ran this place. We did a bloody good job at it too! I am just as capable as you are!” You defended.

He looked down at you, “it isn’t safe, the people out there are bloody viscous. Your gonna get ripped to shreds!” He said, the scowl on his face never faltering.

“You don’t get to tell me what is and isn’t safe for me, who do you think you are? My keeper? Not in a million years Thomas!” She spat at him, the words seeping into him like venom. He hadn’t heard you call him by his full first name, ever- not that he really thought about it.

He got angry now, although deep down it wasn’t anger, it was sadness. Of course it didn’t come out that way… “ACTUALLY, I CAN TELL YOU WHAT IS AND ISN’T SAFE BECAUSE I AM IN CHARGE AROUND HERE. IF YOU WANT TO BE A PEAKY BLINDER YOUR GONNA LEARN TO FOLLOW ORDERS LIKE A DAMN OBEDIENT WOMAN.” He yelled in your face. You didn’t flinch, just frowned angrily and shook your head.

“Where is Tommy. I want him back.” You said softly? Mostly to yourself. “The hell do you mean? I’m standing right fuckin’ infront of you!” He said, still angry and now a bit confused.

You looked him in the eyes. Those piercing blue eyes that used to hold the world and now, were empty and cold. “The boy who used to care for me, for others. The boy who was kind…who knew my favorite color and cared to say goodmorning and goodnight and wish me a happy birthday every year. The boy who laughed and joked and had fun and had a life! The man who would NEVER speak to me, or any other woman for that matter, like I was some common whore!” You retorted.

He scoffed, “What? You expected me to come back and be the EXACT same man? You have no idea what happened over there! you could think about it realistically- But no! your just a little girl who doesn’t understand how the god damn world works. I mean seriously, PEOPLE DIED. I WATCHED PEOPLE DIE. That changes man! And besides, what’s it matter to you anyway?!” He yelled.

You took his face in your hands roughly, putting on hand on each cheek and forcing him to look you in your eyes as you said this, said the thing you always had wanted to tell him but were always to scared to say. “IT MATTERS BECAUSE I LOVED TOMMY SHELBY. I LOVED HIM MORE THAN ANYTHING AND NOW ALL I GET IS A MAN WHO IS ANGRY AND COLD AND JUST BLOODY MEAN!” You screamed, trying to suppress the tears that threatened your eyes. Not wanting to seem weak.

He pulled away from your grasp on his face and rolled his eyes “oh, so your upset because I didn’t take you home and sleep with you as soon as I got back? FUCK, you really are a cheap fucking whore!” He yelled, slamming a drawer closed.

“THAT ISN'T THE POINT AT ALL!” You yelled and looked up to blink, so the tears wouldn’t fall. “THE POINT IS THAT I LOVED YOU….” Your tone began to soften and the tears finally fell. “I loved you and, god- Thomas I know your struggling and I know that everything over there was horrible. But you won’t even let me help you. You won’t let anyone! All you do is get angry and mean and bitter and…I know my worth and I don’t deserve this.” You responded finally. Before turning and leaving the room.

As you left Tommy watched you go, the anger in his face now melting away and revealing the sadness. He realized he had made a mistake.

3 days later; 1919

You hadn’t spoken to Tommy in days. You had been entirely avoiding him. Mostly out of anger at how he spoke to you, and partially out of embarrassment and guilt. You knew he was struggling and ended up just screaming at him instead of trying to talk to him- but in your defense he was being rude first. And then you told him you were in love with him which you never even considering doing. It was not the greatest memory right now.

Tommy seemed quite alright, some rough business with other gangs but nothing too out of the ordinary, you knew how business was.

It was around midnight you assumed, you had just gotten out of bed to make some tea since you were unable to sleep. As you waited for the water to heat you heard a knock at the door. You looked suspiciously at it.

You grabbed your gun off the table near the door and held it tight as you looked through the peephole.

A soft sigh left your lips as you saw who it was, Thomas Shelby. You rolled your eyes before putting your gun down and opening the door to see what he could possibly want.

You hadn’t noticed through the peephole but he looked pretty messy. In just his pajamas and a jacket, his hair a mess and his face covered in sweat. You looked concerned, and any annoyance you had at his arrival soon washed away.

“I uh. I had a nightmare.” Tommy started, as he stood nervously in your doorway. “I’ve been having them every night really.” He continued softly. Your gaze softened. “Oh Tommy. Come in.” You moved out the way and let him walk in, he took a seat on your sofa as you closed the door and took the water off the stove- then moved to join him on the couch.

“I’m sorry (y/n). For the other day and showing up here now. All those things I said I- I didnt mean it. Your not a whore. Or a stupid little girl, you’re smart and beautiful and you’ve always been a deal too good for me…and tonight I woke up from my nightmare and I just. I don’t know…You said you wanted to help me, and I was scared of letting anyone help me. But I..love you.” He confessed, the look in his eyes tired and sad, but also that warm familiar look you knew well.

You put your hands on his cheeks softly, a striking 180 from how you held his face the other day, and placed your forhead against his. You could feel his shaky breaths on your face as you just sat there for a moment. “I will help you get through this, all of it. Because I love you too, Tommy.” You said as you sat there, once again getting to feel and smell him there with you, you missed this proximity to him.

Tommy smiled a soft smile as you called him his nickname. He put his hands atop yours, which were still on his face, and leaned in to connect his lips with yours in a quick kiss. It was quick but it was also soft and loving. You both had clearly waited for this for so long and it was worth it. “I missed hearing you call me that.” Tommy admitted. “I always thought my name sounded best coming out of your mouth” he said a bit suggestively. You chucked.

“Why don’t we head upstairs to my room? You can stay here, incase you have another nightmare.” You suggested, smiling softly at him as you pulled away from the closeness to look at him fully. He nodded softly before getting up.

As you got back to your room and crawled into bed and layed on your side facing the wall. He climbed in a moment after you, you could feel the dip in the mattress as he got in and under the covers. After he adjusted for a moment you felt his arm wrap around your waist and his body press against yours, his face burying in your hair. “I hope this is alright, love.” He asks softly.

You smile and grab hold of his hand which is resting on your stomach. “Definitely.” You reply as you both snuggle close and drift off to sleep.

Tommy Shelby didn’t have another nightmare that entire night he spent cuddled up with you in your bed, and sure he had a long way to go but he knew with your help it would be okay.

[callsign-rogueone]

1-6, 8, and 15-18 for Garrick and Angel?

2-6 and 14-18 for Duchess and Brennan?

Don’t feel pressured to do them all! Just whichever ones of those won’t spoil any of the future posts 💕💕

hi! here’s the ones for Garrick and Angel + a few that another person asked for. I’ll put Bren and Duchess in a separate post 🥰

🏷: 1.2k words (I got a little carried away lol), contains iron flame spoilers and spoilers for their chapters that I’ve already posted.

1. What made them attracted to each other at first?

I think it’s a pretty common experience to look at a childhood friend one day and just go.. whoa. that’s kinda what happened here. I think she realized how strong he is (watching him spar with Xaden? him teaching her to fight?), and he realized how beautiful she is. after a few years of that mutual starry-eyed attraction, and Xaden running interference for both sides, we got our favorite couple.

2. What do they find attractive in each other now?

physical: she’s really into how broad and tall he is, and his physical presence (when he uses that section-leader voice? whew.). and of course, that damn smile of his. he likes how soft and warm she is; her smile, the feel of her skin and her hair, the plush of her body… after she left basgiath and wasn’t constantly working out all the time anymore, she got a little softer around the edges, and he loved it.

emotional: his humor, his kindness and how understanding and patient he is with her; her heart, her gentleness and deep empathy, how amazing she is with kids, animals, and even plants.

3. What would they never want to change about the other one? and 4. What do they wish they could change about the other one?

combining these two. I don’t think either of them would want to change much at all. they fell in love with each other because of who they are, not despite it. but if you really want a straight answer… he might wish that she took better care of herself (not working herself to burnout all the time). she might wish he would stop taking so many risks and freaking her out all the time (when he came back from Samara with that giant scar, she about lost it.)

5. What’s something that could make them break up?

neither of them are letting go of the other any time soon, for any reason, but if you want to get really technical, then like. someone cheating, or him doing something she can’t forgive / a severe violation of her ethics (killing someone in cold blood, etc), but neither of those are going to happen ever, so we’re good.

6. What’s keeping them together?

simply put, they need each other. a lot of their relationship from age 16-17 until now (and for the foreseeable future with this whole venin thing still unresolved) is founded on them helping each other cope with life and all the crazy shit that happens to them. things will look up soon (I hope), but they’re good at finding the little happy moments and savoring them, and they do genuinely love each other.

as @fw-gt once said; “she nurtures and he protects”. he’s doing everything he can to keep her safe (see what I did there?) and she’s that soft, comforting presence and a reminder that there is still good in the world.

8. Do their families like each other?

yes absolutely they did. their fathers both worked closely with Xaden’s, which is how they met as literal babies lol. I like to think that while the two of them weren’t bf/gf yet during the revolution, their parents both shipped it and knew it would happen eventually. her dad 100% would have given Garrick his blessing to marry her. (maybe he did, before he died. maybe her parents’ wedding rings are hidden in his room at Riorson house. that would be wild…)

10. How does being separated make them feel?

we got into this a little bit when they were apart from july-october in Iron Flame. that was really the longest they’d ever been apart, since they were childhood friends and then were fostered together (along with sweetheart! Gare likes to joke that she’s their ‘practice child’.)

getting off the trail and into the weeds here, sorry. but yeah. life just kinda loses its color when they’re apart for more than a day or two, and they both start worrying about the other’s safety, and he worries about her taking care of herself while he’s gone. before he left Riorson house to return to basgiath, leaving her behind, he made sure that she’d be taken care of (bren and duchess and tab were on the case) and he had to call in a few favors to send her those letters.

11. How long can they go without seeing each other before starting to miss the other one?

kinda answered this above, oops, but a few days is the tipping point. angel gets even more withdrawn and tries to busy herself with work or helping others to take her mind off of her anxiety about him being gone, and he gets kinda grumpy and stressed -- not like Xaden-level grumpy, but close. she’s the one who melts that stress away, so it builds up without her. him and X definitely did a lot of sparring when they were away from their girls to help get rid of that pent-up emotion.

15. Is one of them way more invested in the relationship than the other?

no. they’re equally invested, equally in love.

16. How happy are they about their relationship?

oh, over the moon. they’re endgame, going to get married and have kids, zero doubt. I have their kids’ names picked out and everything (keeping that under wraps for now, because I don’t know what I’m gonna do with that yet…)

they’re met with a little eye rolling and joking from their friends sometimes about just how in love they are, but they know it’s all in good fun, and that they must be doing it right if they’re making people jealous lol

17. How good are they at communicating their needs and preferences to the other?

I’d say that this is one of their weak spots as a couple. we’ve established that Angel isn’t great at taking care of or prioritizing herself, largely because she doesn’t believe she deserves it / values others needs more than hers. at this point, Garrick knows her super well and usually knows what she’s too afraid to ask for and does it anyway, but there’s also often a little secret relay that goes on there (Tab to Chradh or the other way around) when things really need to be addressed but someone is being too stubborn to spit it out.

18. How good are they at respecting each other’s boundaries?

ooh, boy, another fun one. Garrick respects her refusal to harm others unless absolutely necessary, and it’s one of the things he loves about her, but it can also strain things at times; they’re going to a war college, where everyone is armed and dangerous and a lot of people don’t like the Tyrs. this also threw a major wrench into him training her to fight, which I’m currently writing about for another of their chapters. but otherwise, when a boundary is drawn, it’s kept in place and not crossed unless deemed necessary. both of them are act-now, apologize-later people when it comes to matters of their partner’s safety and health, especially Garrick re: angel overworking herself. he’s not afraid to pick her up and physically remove her from a situation lmao

my og couple <33333 I need to sit down and plan out the rest of their story this week. I’ve been neglecting them :( ⚔️🌿🥰