#Nikki writing

[nikki-ships]

Kinda a WIP thing of Floyd and Siouxsie meeting except I don't actually know how they would approach one another lol.

I wanted to draw it, but I can't actually get the backgrounds to work with me, and they're a huge part of it all ://

Anywhore, here's the song he's walking into the scene to if you also want the full effect of his kinda scary introduction to The Underground scene: My Name Is Mud

This lil WIP is only like 500 words, so blerg

He never had to start from so low, already being a well-established artist. Well, a member of a well-known band, at least. And that’s just the problem. He knows who he is in a group. As a band, they all had their roles to play, it all seemed so cut and dry. But going solo, he just feels… lost.

Which is why he’s turned to The Underground Scene. He’s heard of it, but never been, and trying to get information on where the nearest underground was was like pulling teeth. These scenes are a well-kept secret from a great many mainstream spaces, because the Trolls that play there don’t usually have a well-developed space themselves like the other genres do. These areas are coveted by many smaller genres and subgenres. The mainstream have it easy with their whole kingdoms and villages to play in, but groups like Indie, Punk, Goth, and various others don’t have that. So, to the Underground they took, crafting widely spread out concert arenas for themselves. Literal holes in the ground.

It’s the last place anyone expects to see such a brightly colored Pop Troll, but nothing is vibing right with Floyd’s pursuit of a solo career. He’s desperate for inspiration and to experiment and possibly discover more of who he is as an individual.

The path into The Underground is a bit convoluted. Ominous, heavy noises echo off the walls. A sense of dread fills his chest as the heavy strums reverb deep in his bones. It only grows heavier as he enters the concert area. The lyrics begin as soon as he does, and he’s… not sure what to make of them starting, “My name is Mud.”

Bioluminescent fungi help to light the stage, along with other light sources that were gathered to make the artists visible to the audience. Most Trolls occupying the area are darker in color, generally from grungier music subgenres and derivatives of Rock and Metal. Some are more colorful, however, so he doesn’t immediately stick out too much.

Finally, he sees the source of the heavy reverb making his skeleton feel like it’s about to vibrate out of his body. The bassist. In the blue-toned light, she looks more grey-toned, dark red hair with bangs covering her eyes, her mouth never moving from the neutral expression it’s stuck in. She doesn’t move at all, really… only her hands as she strums such an intense bass line with the drums only making the room shake more. Such a deadpan expression and her general lack of movement around the stage while everyone else was throwing themselves about it would make one suspect that she doesn’t want to be there.

[cockroachparty]

currently playing infinity nikki for the first time (as well as my first time playing any gacha game) and i am. so perplexed by this girl.

she is nonconsensually ripped from her home and sucked into some other universe. the annoying rat is taken with her and they end up in some dark souls esque world. she now has the powers of levitation (?!) and shooting objects from her hand (?!) that can only harm bad guys and completely miss everything else in the environment. are these powers conscious of who it can hit or does nikki just have really good aim? after she meets some lady who has been chained to the ceiling for who knows how many years, a "heart" of some sort is forced into nikki's chest which gives her weird pains (no shit) from time to time when she witnesses emotional or "whimsical" displays.

anyway, im traversing this new land, in shock that this poor girl opened a simple wardrobe and is now in what appears to be some alternate universe where clothes have magic powers. if that were me, i'd be freaking out and wondering where the hell i am, what planet im on, and if im dreaming

nikki, though?

nikki is having the time of her life

i mean, shes casually introducing herself to dada and giovanni like shes just some girl from the next town over; no! youre not supposed to be here!! youre essentially an alien and youre fooling everybody!!

this girl is catwalking miraland like stuff like this happens to her ALL. THE. TIME.

which, if it does...

is nikki ok??? should she be put down???

[thoughtkick]

We love because it's the only true adventure.

Nikki Giovanni

[realuityisntreal]

[nininikki]

𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐘 𝐁𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐇𝐃𝐀𝐘, 𝐌𝐑. 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐓 | eren jaeger x black fem!reader

V. call me when you get this

✧ summary! — one night. that’s all eren needs to show you how he really feels. just one night. but how well do his feelings hold up in the light of day?

✧ warnings! — adultery, age gap (reader is 29 and eren is 40), some jean x reader, fluff, catastrophically down bad!eren, ballet (🩰), lots of POV switching, mentions of pregnancy and miscarriage, angst (lmk if i missed anything, i haven’t slept in days)

✧ author’s note! — guyssss 🙈🙈 don’t hate me for taking eons to update this :( i had to make it perfect ok! anyhow i had a blast writing this (no matter how long it took) and i hope y’all love it too 💋 as always ilysm your support means the world 🙈💋🩷🫂

✧ word count — 9.1k (omg srry)

series masterlist / previous chapter

15 SEPTEMBER, TWO MONTHS BEFORE THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION 

“there’s a lot riding on georgia.” mikasa said. the plane food that she would stuff down her throat to keep her mind off the height muffled her tone, so eren couldn’t tell if his wife was about vent to him or give him a lecture. “you’re falling behind with women, so i wish you could have come. but it’s okay. i’ll think of something.”

“talk about my policies that help women.” eren suggested, although he was hardly the utmost focused at the moment.

a stack of black and white stationery splayed across his office desk. a newspaper, and on the cover of it was your face, and despite how much pleasure this would usually bring him, it wasn’t just your face. jean kirschtein’s face just had to be there as well. sitting across from you at one of those outdoor cafe tables, caressing your cheek with the palm of his hand over a shared milkshake. he looked totally and utterly in love with you, and it was sickening to witness. 

eren recalled the memory of your pillow soft lips pushing against his, allowing him entry, forming whimpers around his name. was jean capable of such a thing? was he worthy? at that, eren briefly wondered if he himself were even worthy.

KIRSCHTEIN AND (L/N) COZY UP OFF SET!

even the title irked him to a T. despite the photo having been taken during the height of your press tour, it still made eren woozy with envy. how could you be everywhere but where he wanted? in every paper, every movie, every magazine, every show. every corner of his mind. every night, the star of every dream. everywhere but where he needed you most.

eren regained his voice after a moment. “and if that doesn’t work, tell ‘em you make a mean peach cobbler.”

“my husband, always the strategist.” mikasa droned through what was undoubtedly a glass of champagne. “okay, the plane’s taking off. call you when i land.”

with the sound of the dial tone, eren was finally able to think in peace. he could take a thick swig of his morning orange juice while silently cursing the newspaper company (seriously, were newspapers even supposed to report on that shit? what happened to current events?) and the paperboy who dropped it at his door. 

eren picked up his glass and took another swig of orange encouragement before jotting your number into the keypad. 

15 SEPTEMBER, TWO MONTHS BEFORE THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION

“miss, miss. excuse me, miss.” a sharp knocking on your open bathroom door pierced through the sound of music blaring in your ears. it was your housekeeper, katya, looking awfully worried at the amount of water and bubbles your body was submerged in. you assured her with a carefree smile as you removed your headphones. “the phones,” katya pointed to the house phone stationed in her other hand, chirruping madly. “they ring. would you like to answer?”

you rose from the soft field of bubbles and stretched your arm, which was covered in suds, out for the phone. before you could thank katya, she scurried out of the room, gingerly closing the door behind her.

“hello,” you said upon answering.

“hey, stranger.” the voice on the other end answered in what one could only describe as cheerful anxiety. despite the outward, shiny finishing of enthusiasm, you heard the sharp, broken inhale he took before speaking. as you sat up in the water, allowing a heap of suds to slide down your shoulders, you began to ponder over whatever it was he could be so nervous about.

“oh, hi jean. how’s it going?”

“uh, y’know, pretty good.” it might have been hallucination from the steam, but part of you swore you heard him gulp. “i didn’t expect you to actually pick up.”

with a slippery hand, you adjusted the claw clip that was beginning to lose its grip on your hair. “always time for my favorite co-star. what’s up?”

“i was, um,” he made a noise that seemed to be a cross  between an exhale and a… sneeze? cough? heimlich maneuver? “wondering if you wanted to do something next saturday.”

“do something?”

“y’know, like a hang-out. y’know, two friends hanging. oh, that sounded weird. uh—”

“are you asking me on a date?” a date. a date? you lessened the intensity of the faucet’s outpour with polished, suddy toes before you let yourself think.

it was weird. it was weird, wasn’t it? going out on a date with your co-worker. dating your coworker. society (and the human resources department) usually discouraged that kind of thing. they also discouraged casual sex with said coworkers. where was your morality then? 

well, not in hollywood, they don’t. sex appeal was about one-third of what kept everything up and running. when you first gave in and told hange you were sleeping with jean, you remember them lifting you off the ground whilst spinning in circles, screaming, “the publicity” over and over again. everything after that was blurry.

after a millenium of thinking, jean spoke again. “yeah,” you could hear the slightest tinge of his usual confidence returning. “yeah, is that weird?”

“no. not at all.” if you thought about it for too long, it absolutely was. in all your time of fornicating behind closed doors, you had went on exactly zero dates. 

sure, you would sneak into his trailer to see how many times you could blow him before it was time to shoot the next scene. and maybe the way he kissed you during some takes felt a little too real. but could that work forever? could that passion translate into romance?

a date. where would we go? what would i wear? what would he say? the he you were referring to was a green-eyed politician whose cologne you could still smell on your neck, even while submerged in soapy water.

eren won’t care, you thought. it bruised your ego as it crossed your mind. surely he’d have too much too much on his plate to even notice something so silly. debates, primaries, dinners. a gulp formed in your throat. his wife. you sunk yourself deeper within the water. ah, yes, his wife. that bruised something deeper than your ego.

“i’d, uh, i’d love to, jean.”

***

“don’t just sit there, hange. help me pick out a dress.”

“what day is it? friday? you’ve got a week to pick something out.”

“yeah, only a week. so i’m basically two weeks behind.” your wrists had nearly gone limp rifling through what felt like a million imperfect dresses. “could i have that versace ordered in time?”

“i don’t know why you worry so much.” hange moaned, removing themselves from your mattress with agonizing patience. “frenchie’s not gonna care if you show up wrapped in a dish rag.” 

“could you not call him frenchie?” your irritation grew as you tripped over a pair of manolos. “he’s not a dog.”

“well he’s french, isn’t he?”

you turned around clutching a colorful, floral dress to your chest. hange leaned against the closet’s door frame, toeing the line between bored and amused. “‘kay, what do you think of this?” 

they dramatically pushed their glasses past their hairline, and squinted as if they were in pain. “well not that. you’ll give him a seizure.”

you rolled your eyes. “don’t worry.” a sardonic chuckle fell from your lips as you pulled five dresses from the rack and made your way into your room. “we’ve got my whole closet to go through.” the hangers and fabric fell to your bed with a cacophony of clangs and thumps.

“not tonight.” hange sat down on the bed, popping open a few buttons on their shirt. “got a hot date.”

although your first instinct was to scoff, you couldn’t help the smile tugging at your lips as you caught hange blushing. “with who? one of the girls from your magazines?”

the words barely left your mouth before their calloused fingertips pinched the skin of your hip. a feverish blush crawled down their neck. “with a girl, a nice one. she’s a supermodel, so the magazine thing is probably true.” hange rubbed their knuckles over the bridge of their nose, something they only did when wracked with nerves. “total knockout too. you’ve probably met her.”

you hummed, admiring the way your friend fawned over their crush. “well, i look forward to formally meeting her. at least before the wedding.”

hange pinched you again, harder this time, eliciting a yelp. “you’re so dramatic. pass me a dress.”

you shuffled through the stack before passing them a little black number with bandage-like straps. “i mean, you probably are gonna sleep with him, but don’t make it so obvious.”

“oh, c’mon, hange. it’s a pretty dress!”

“yeah, if you want him to touch your private parts.”

you laid the dress across the footboard, mentally labeling it as the no pile. “mind if i order chinese?”

“you’re insatiable.” you murmured, gesturing toward the house phone next to your bed.

“you love me.” 

hange made their way over, haphazardly fiddling with the buttons as they tried to recall the number to wok-a-holic. 

“you have one unheard message.” the automated woman inside your telephone announced to the room. “would you like to hear it?”

hange quickly and clumsily pulled their glasses over their face “shit, i didn’t mean to do—”

“uh, hi. i know i shouldn’t be doing this, but i don’t know.”

hearing his voice was like a baptism—only the most sinful kind. with every word, you could feel him over you, cupping his big hand over the back of your head. staring at you in that way that he did—past your eyes and directly into your soul—before submerging you in the water that was ice cold, yet burning you alive with sin. every movement of his lips was corruption.

your heart pumped with pure adrenaline as you scrambled to get across your king sized bed. “what the fuck, hange. what’d you press?”

“i thought i hit the seven!”

“just been wantin’ to hear your voice,”

“what the fuck,” you noticed the slur in his voice, but couldn’t quite make out if he was tipsy or just tired. 

hange looked genuinely puzzled more than anything. “who is that?” they whispered, as if eren could hear the two of you.

“i-i don’t know, it’s just some guy that-that i met at the...” you cut yourself off with a gulp. you prayed hange was oblivious to the fresh tears of shock springing in your eyes, or the way you kept doubling over like you were gonna puke any moment.

“i thought i was doin’ fine, then one of your movies came on today, and well…you can guess how that went.” 

at that, you lunged for the phone. because although you could not guess how that went, you’d bet your top dollar that he was either going to tell you, or say something else just as awfully incriminating.

“wait, not so fast. i wanna hear the rest.” hange tsked, encircling their arms around your abdomen and directing you away from the phone. you inwardly cursed their abhorrent noseyness and stellar upper body strength.

“look, i know this is way outta line, and i probably shouldn’t even be asking, but…mikasa’s left for georgia this morning,”

hange scrunched up their face in bemusement. “mikasa?” then you watched realization contort that same bemusement into shock, and then horror. and then shock again, then a weird mixture of the two.

“and…i figured that’d give us the opportunity to talk things out, or maybe not. it’s completely up to you.”

“shit.” you collapsed back into your mattress, defeated and shameful. 

“anyway, i don’t wanna take up any more of your time. please just…call me when you get this.”

there was a dial tone akin to the sound of a judge’s gavel. as hange turned to face you, you wondered what their verdict would be.

“you’re fucking him?”

“no!”

“jesus christ.” they uttered beneath their breath. “you couldn’t sleep with, like, a soccer player. or-or-or one of those set-dec guys that are always drooling over you. noooo. you had to sleep with the governor of california.”

“you’re insane.” you nearly screamed. the shame you felt was beginning to border on frustration, even though you had no room to be frustrated with anyone but yourself. 

“i’m insane? you’re sleeping with an elected official, and i’m insane?”

“yeah, funny how that works. and we are not sleeping together.”

hange made a face indicative of needing more information.

you dug your acrylic nails into your palms. “i don’t know. h-he likes me.”

“and you like him, too?”

the way you habitually chewed on your lip and crossed your ankles back and forth told them everything they needed to know.

your manager and best friend let a deep sigh rumble through their chest, then joined you on the bed. “this is so fucked. we’re so fucked.”

suddenly, you felt like a twenty year old girl again. life steering out of your control. passion with nowhere to pour it. a disappointment. a failure. a mockery of everything everyone had worked for. “i know. i’m sorry. please don’t hate me.”

they sat upright, immediately wrapping an arm around your shoulders. “hey, don’t cry.”

“‘m not crying.” you scoffed.

“you are.” hange brushed a thumb over your cheek, and it came back wet. “and i don’t hate you. but i’m definitely gonna need a raise.”

you sniffed. “fair.”

***

eren got your call at around a quarter til midnight. just when he was beginning to think you’d rejected him, and had poured his first glass of scotch for the night. 

he had gotten through the day mostly okay. he ate lunch without thinking of you. he had almost succeeded going for a run without thinking of you, but your latest GQ campaign was plastered on a billboard big enough for someone in alaska to see. he had a phone call with levi where all he did was think of you, and how much he’d rather have his head underneath your skirt than hear another word of campaign talk. he tried not to think of you in the shower, but you can guess how well that went.

and now he was in bed thinking of you. because he had left that message, what was it, almost twelve hours ago? and not only had you left him with radio silence, but now a cosmetics commercial of yours was on and eren wondered if this was what it felt like to go mad.

he could understand if you wanted to be left alone, but were you aware of how hard it was when you were everywhere?

then you called, and he nearly broke his hand picking up the phone.

“you’ve got some nerve leaving a message on my answering machine.”

his heart exploded with ecstasy. he didn’t care that you sounded angry enough to scare off a pack of hyenas. you were here, and you were talking to him. “good evening to you, too, (y/n).” he relaxed in his sheets.

“don’t try to butter me up, eren. this is serious!”

oh, it probably was really serious, but he couldn’t bring himself to care when you said his name like that. with so much passion and fury. it invigorated him. “mmm, tell me about it.”

“my manager found out.” just as your voice dropped just beneath a whisper, so did the beating of eren’s heart. “and thank god they’re cool about it, or we’d be all over tmz by now.”

eren sighed with relief and revelation. what were you doing to him? though, it really wasn’t your fault. he was the elected official. he was the married man. he knew it was wrong to want you as much as he did, yet he did anyway. regardless of his title or his wife, or his campaign.

and you. the way you walked, the way you talked. the way your voice wrapped around his name when you addressed him as mr. governor. or even better: eren. you were so effortlessly enchanting. it was easy for him to forget that he couldn’t have you the way he needed.

“what were you thinking, eren?”

“i’m sorry, i just…” he combed a hand through his still damp hair. “i-i-i missed you.”

“i’m not that stupid,” you scoffed, as if you could just tell he was lying. but, really, he wasn’t. it was more of a partial truth than anything. “so be honest.” 

involuntarily, the image of you and jean in the newspaper made itself present in his mind, stirring up fresh agony in his gut. jean shouldn’t have been allowed to look at you like that. eren knew this for certain, as he himself wasn’t even allowed to look at you like that. 

“i guess…” eren brushed his fingers over his adam’s apple, wondering if he could punch the words out of his mouth. “i’malittlejealous.”

“you’re what?”

“i’m… jealous.” eren uttered the word as if it were a slur. it felt like one. it tasted like one as he spoke it, which was ironic, considering the emotion had been eating him alive for long enough.

eren couldn’t recall a time in his life where he wanted for something that someone else had. connections? he had them. money? more than he could ever need. women? they flocked to him in groves. a beautiful (albeit distant) wife, a promising political career, and a cushy estate to fall back on if things didn’t go as expected.

so why did the sight of jean kirschstein looking at you like you were his make his blood froth so ferociously? 

“jealous? jealous of wh—” you cut yourself off again. you lowered your voice to a serious and sort of patronizing tone. like you were about to scold a kindergartener. “is this about jean?”

god, he even hated the way you said his name. “maybe.”

at that, you released a boisterous laugh that seemed to go on for an unnecessarily long amount of time. “sorry for the giggles, but this is just too funny.” your words were folded between labored, highly amused breaths. “how’s your wife doing, by the way?”

“haha, very funny.” eren drawled. his eyes drifted to the photo of he and mikasa that sat on his nightstand. 

“glad you agree with me.”

eren shifted in his bed, listening to your breathing soften on the other end. it almost calmed him. “it’s just…” his throat tightened as though admitting his feelings would cause some sort of allergic reaction. “i hate that he gets to be with you.”

he could hear you sucking in a sharp breath. “eren, y—”

“i want it to be me. i want to kiss you again. i wanna be able to touch you the way he does.” the words came out in a sort of vomit-like state. moreso emotions that had been taking up space in his psyche than coherent sentences.

“y-you wanna kiss me again?” the way the question left your mouth—so delicate, breathless, almost scared. like you couldn’t believe such a thing was possible. soft, shaky exhales followed. eren could picture the way your glossy lips would’ve been parted in surprise. he basked in the picture.

“‘course i do.” warmth covered his body like butter. spreading down his neck, the bareness of his chest, past the elastic of his lounge pants. recalling his time in the garden with you wasn’t helping. he brushed a shameful glance over the growing print in hopes of sating his lust. “it’s all i’ve been thinking about.”

on eren’s end, it sounded like you were shifting around in your bed. now that was something he really shouldn’t have been thinking about. he liked to imagine you were wearing some sort of slip. something with thin straps and lacy edges. something he could pull up and slide down if he so pleased. 

“me too.” you purred. “i miss… the way you feel.” as another whisper of a breath exited your lips, he wondered if you felt the same way as he did. was there a hand between your legs too? trying to rub the away pain through the fabric of your pants? were you wet for him? he wanted to feel it. he needed to taste it even more.

eren closed his eyes, letting the image run over and over in his mind with a defeated, “fuck,” he really did feel a little defeated. his resolve could’ve been more firm. “what did i feel like, (y/n)?”

the words dropped from your lips in another soft exhale. “like you were mine.”

without a moment’s hesitation he declared, “i am.” because, truly, he was. from the moment he first saw you hanging off his wife’s arm, he was yours for the taking. 

“i wish that were possible.”

“tomorrow night,” eren said. he had gained a little bit of his composure back, and sat up straighter in bed. the little black planner on his nightstand had practically levitated into his hand. he snatched the pen from the spiral where it lived and frantically jotted down three separate phone numbers. call at 9 AM, sharp, he scribbled below it in bold letters. “tomorrow night, i’m gonna take you somewhere.”

“you’re gonna what?”

“i’m taking you out. tomorrow night. be ready at 8:30.”

“eren, don’t be st—”

“un-unh. tomorrow.”

“that’s imp—”

“at 8:30.”

“fine,” you heaved a sigh so large that it almost certainly maximized its capacity in your lungs. eren didn’t need to have you standing in front of him to know you rolling your eyes in the most adorable—albeit petulant—manner. “where are you taking me?”

“‘s a surprise,” instinctively, his lips curled into a smug grin as he scrawled two more names and numbers in his planner. being the governor of a state surely had its advantages. “so don’t even worry about it.” 

“well, i need to worry about it, eren. what am i gonna wear?”

“somethin’ pretty, like you always do.”

“hahaha, so cute, and not helpful at all. you’re gonna feel real stupid when i show up in my daisy dukes.”

“show up in those and stupid’s the last thing i’m gonna feel.” sure, he joked, but the mental image of you with daisy dukes hugging the curves of your hips made him so hard that he almost passed out.

your lips opened around a hearty laugh that threaded through your words. “fiiiiine, i‘ll be ready at eight-thirty. to go wherever the hell with you.”

“in the daisy dukes?”

“you’re pushing it.”

***

16 SEPTEMBER

“i cannot believe you asked me to help you with this.” hange droned, perched atop your bathroom counter while you meticulously drew subtle layers of lip gloss over your cupid’s bow. “and i agreed! god, woman, the things i do for you.”

too focused on your reflection, you sighed, smacking your lips before relaxing them completely, spreading them wide in a bright smile, and then pouting them for good measure. that’s good, you decided, you could get anything you wanted with that pout. “well, how can i leave the house without you seeing me first?” you inwardly debated on whether or not to go over your eyelashes again before remembering it was already nearing eight fifteen. “if i’m looking crazy, i need you to let me know.”

“aren’t you going out with a married presidential candidate  tonight?”

“uh yeah, why?”

“nothin’. just think the looking crazy ship has sailed. couple times, actually.”

you fought with the urge to grab the nearest lipstick and draw a retaliatory streak somewhere over hange’s face, but they weren’t wrong. if you were less mature, you’d resent them that. 

“seriously, though. how do i look?” 

“beautiful, you know that.” hange rolled their eyes, poking you in the rib cage. “kinda like marilyn monroe.”

“not funny, hange!”

“what? she was a babe.” 

“babe, schmabe.” you scurried into your closet and pulled out one pair of black, open-toed jeffrey campbell heels, a pair of classic louboutins, and held them up before hange. “which shoes?”

“those,” hange said, gesturing to the jeffrey campbell’s. “your toes are painted white, so it’ll make the white in your dress pop, kinda.”

“kinda? or am i gonna look like a floozy?”

“oh, just shut up and put the shoes on.”

“you’re the boss.”

as you took a few practice steps around the room to ensure you’d be able to walk comfortably, your eyes latched onto something outside your window. a shiny, black limo was parked just out in front of your house, its windows tinted so thoroughly that you weren’t even sure there was someone in it. “holy,” you breathed. you could feel your heart pick up speed in your chest. “is that…”

hange was behind you in an instant, an incredulous stream of air leaving their mouth in the form of a scoff. “married and punctual. how about it,”

“hange!” as much as you wanted to storm away, you couldn’t risk it in your dress, so you turned on your heels and made your way downstairs as carefully as you could. 

“what? i’m not knocking it, (y/n).” they said, hot on your tail until you both stopped at the hallway mirror near your foyer. “in fact, after you sleep with him, i want all the details.”

“i’m not gonna sleep with him.” you stated, so definitively that you almost believed yourself. though truthfully, you weren’t all that certain. sure, you had been fantasizing about it since the moment you first saw him in person, but you didn’t have to act on it. at least not so soon. he hadn’t even bought you dinner yet!

and besides that, sleeping with eren would make all of this so much more real than it already was. it would officially become an affair. or was it one already? could late night phone calls and a few stolen kisses really be enough to constitute a whole affair?

“yeah, right, and i’m not gonna eat the last twinkie from the box in your pantry.” hange quipped, dramatically winking and tilting their head in your direction to get their joke across. 

as stupid as it was, you laughed despite yourself. whilst grabbing your clutch off the side table in the hallway, a little part of you began to wish this date was just like all the other events you attended—hange accompanying you, sticking to your arm and telling you all the right things to say the entire time. the skin of your palms grew softer with a barely there sheen of perspiration. were you nervous?

“don’t get choked up now.” said hange, spritzing your hair with a vanilla scented mist you didn’t even notice them grab on the way out of your room. “just think about how much fun we’re gonna have gossiping about this later.”

“yeah, yeah.” the clock on your hallway table read eight twenty-eight in a blaring, crimson red. “just trash the twinkie box on your way out.”

***

“thank you” is the first thing eren hears upon his driver, wattson lending you an arm to help you out of the car. you flashed him a darling smile as you smoothed out the fabric of your dress, and eren watched him blush stumble over his words trying to think up a response. that’s my girl.

the los angeles central theatre was usually bustling with people about this time, coming and going to and fro different shows. however, thanks to a few connections and phone calls made by eren, he was able to rent the place out for the entire night. 

your hair jumped around your face in thick, shiny ringlets. bounce, bounce, bounce with every step towards him. oh shit, you were walking his way. “hi,” the word left your mouth in a wispy breath. you adjusted the bodice of your dress, although there seemed to be nothing wrong with it to begin with. it was an elaborate mugler piece that involved the bodice diverging into two sides just above your naval. what covered your chest was a white fabric that sat snug at the back of your neck.

of course, you looked heavenly. literally as though some god had parted the clouds and rained you down onto earth. what good deed had eren done in his past life to deserve you? “hey there, pretty lady.” you giggled and blushed, hiding your face behind a manicured hand and murmuring something like along the lines of, oh, stop it. 

“come here, let me look at you.” eren purred, even though he had already looked at you plenty. there were still things he hadn’t seen yet! like the pretty color painted on your lips, the diamonds hanging from your ears, the way your dress was split so high that a glimpse of your thigh peeked out at him between the fabric. truthfully, he felt like a victorian-era man seeing an ankle for the first time.

you slipped your hand into his and pulled him toward the entrance. “you’ll have all night to look at me.” you said, pulling at his arm with a smile he just couldn’t say no to. “c’mon, eren. wanna see what it was that was sooo special it had to be a surprise.”

“well, at least let me hold the door!” eren made a rush for the entrance just as your hand brushed against it.

“whatever gets you in here faster.” you said, so smug at having gotten your way. 

“so, you really rented out the entire theatre?” you asked, still beaming as he led you past the empty concessions stand. he listened as your heels clicked against the fancy flooring, the sound ricocheting off the walls of his mind like a metronome. “all for me?”

eren looked over at you and tried not to pay attention to the way your breasts jumped just ever so slightly with the speed of your feet. a gulp passed through his throat. “who else?”

your gaze flitted over to him in an instant, glossy lips turning up in a sly smirk. “you are so cheesy, y’know,” however, if the way you tightened your grip on his hand told him anything, it was that you didn’t mind at all.

“have you been here before?” eren inferred, judging by the eager way your eyes crawled over every bit of embellishment and flooring in their line of sight. 

your pace slowed as the gears in your brain sped up, presumably in memory. you tapped at your chin with a busy finger. “one time,” your face contorted as you shuffled through your mind for more. “back when i first moved out here. but the ticket was so expensive, i could only afford the one show.” eren fixed his lips to wrap around the words, what show was it? but you had beat him to the punch by a fraction of a breath. “much ado about nothing, by the way.”

you chuckled as though you seemed to remember something else, but cleared it from your head with a tiny shake. “that was, what? seven, eight years ago?” eren takes a moment and tries to imagine you at twenty-two years old. before you were famous. a young, recently graduated harvard student who had all but disregarded her degree in favor of acting?

though the idea sounded crazy on the surface, eren couldn’t help but notice the similarity between you and himself. there were moments where he would ponder the fantasy of throwing away his political career and chasing you into the sunset. just tiny, fleeting moments. like this one now. as you two were reaching an expansive staircase with marble railing and ornate carpeting, he couldn’t help but notice the gentle sway of your hips as you ascended ahead of him. or the way you peeked back over your shoulder to throw him a smile. yeah, he couldn’t quite say he would mind risking his career for that smile.

the two of you reached the top of the stairs and seemed to halt your gait entirely. “thank you for bringing me here.” you turned to him and said. “not sure how you swung it in twenty-four hours, but thank you. ”

don’t you know, eren wanted to say, i would do anything for you. the thought was so viscerally, painstakingly honest that he did not even have the courage to breathe the sentence. 

you filled the silence with an unfortunate string of words. “y’know, i would kiss you if it didn’t risk ruining my lip liner.” unfortunate for eren, because—believe it or not—he had not even thought about kissing you since you arrived at his side. mostly because you looked almost too beautiful to touch. 

your lips were puckered slightly, as if you wanted him to kiss you anyway. he wished you would stop looking up at him like that—with your batted lashes and shy little smirk—, or else he’d forget himself and do more than kiss you. 

the column of your neck craned higher, just in time for him to tilt downward, toward the direction of your cheek. the way you sucked in one swift breath as his lips came in contact with your skin made the touch that much more heavenly. radiating off your neck was a delicate vanilla flavor so enticing that his mouth began to water as if he were a wild animal being baited by its favorite meal. 

the kiss only lasted a second, though. he still had enough self-restraint to not drool on your cheek. he readjusted his vertical and swallowed the saliva that had gathered under his tongue. “how was that?”

your head lolled to the side as you hid a giggle behind the palm of your hand. “good,” eren felt himself pinned still by the bashful gaze you threw him. “perfect.” you whispered. 

he hardly had a moment to appreciate how cute and dazed you were before he realized the time on his watch read nine-nineteen. “now, come on,” eren coaxed you in the direction of more stairs, and found himself pleasantly surprised at how pliable you were just after being kissed. “we don’t wanna miss the show.”

once seated in your section—a small, elevated wing located west of the main stage—you hardly spoke a word apart from, “do i look silly?” as you held the opera glasses up to your smiling face. 

the first note of music sounded, and you were immediately entranced within the world of swan lake. 

if eren was being honest, he had not paid much attention to the first act. too busy studying your reaction, waiting with bated breath to see if even the most minute expression on your face would indicate whether or not you liked it.

thankfully enough, when the queen announces that prince siegfried is to be betrothed to a wife of her choosing, eren could hear you suck in a sharp gasp before you disentangled your hand from within his in favor of clutching the imaginary pearls at your chest. 

though, even after the first act ended, and it was clear that you couldn’t take your eyes off the graceful ballerinas prancing about the stage, eren could not take his eyes off of you. not even for a moment, even if he wanted to.

happening right before his eyes was a ballet performance that he paid an arm and a leg to see. but did that even matter when you were right here, too? with your eyes eagerly following the dancers as their lithe bodies moved in perfect unison, bottom lip being nursed between anxious teeth as the plot unfolded with each crescendo of the music, feet tapping rhythmically at the ground as it matched up with the notes of the piano. 

eren could see swan lake again, a million more times if he wanted. but the look on your face when siegfried and odette dive into the lake, no longer inhibited by von rothbart’s curse, is something that not even he and his infinite money could buy.

the brightness of the lights crawled slowly to a minor dim, and eren saw that you were crying. a singular tear fallen from each of your eyes, appearing as though they were about to be joined by more. “they were willing to die for their love,” you sniffed, pinching the bridge of your nose and fanning your wet eyelashes. “that is so beautiful!”

with another sniff, you leaned over and planted a soft kiss on his face, right at the apex between his cheekbone and his jaw. softly, you murmured, “thank you,” just below the shell of his ear, and eren had never been so happy to make a woman cry in his life. 

***

he wasn’t supposed to accompany you on the drive home, really. taking separate limos was more risk averse. being alone gave him time to think and get his thoughts under control, something that was made almost impossible by your presence. 

eren should’ve taken a separate limo home. but, as the two of you were breaching the exit doors of the theatre, you asked, “would you wanna ride in the limo with me? it gets so dark in there, and i don’t want to be by myself.”

what on earth did you think you were playing at? if that were the case, then riding to the theatre should have scared you silly! and in any case, the limo had lights! these were all logical points that should have countered your argument and quelled your fears. however, just as eren was about to gently turn you down, you looked him in his eyes, tilted your head, and jutted your bottom lip out in a soft pout. 

un-unh, eren thought, averting his gaze anywhere else, just to avoid looking you in the eyes. nope, not happening. can’t happen. he had been on the end of a million or so pouts in his life. if you thought he was gonna be that easy, you were sorely mistaken. taking separate cars was the smarter, safer choice. surely, you would understand that. “(y/n), i don’t—” 

“please, eren?”

with a sigh, he heaved out a defeated, “fine,” before letting you pull him in the direction of the limo.

okay, so riding in the car with you wasn’t the worst thing in the world. it helped that neither of you had bothered to turn on the lights, so he could hardly see you. you were but a shadowy manifestation of everything he ever wanted. that’s all. 

“these are where the lights usually are,” eren fumbled around at the car’s ceiling until his fingers found the dim backseat lights. “just in case you ever have to be in a limo without me again.”

the brightness of the lights crawled up until he could see you just enough to spot the smile etching its way onto your face, which was then followed by the pleasant melody of your laughter. 

as his ears took in the sound, eren had begun to feel as though every choice in his life had been… pointless. here he was, listening to the most beautiful woman in the world laugh at a stupid joke he made. truly, what was the point of running for president when he had discovered his life’s purpose right here—making you laugh.

you scooted over to his side of the backseat, propping yourself up into a sitting position on your knees and resting your hands on his thigh for balance. a cacophony of emotions hit eren so fast it dizzied him. conflict, arousal, hunger, idiocy. mercilessly and all at once. 

right ahead of him were your breasts, held snugly together between the pressure of your arms. they heaved ever so slightly with every minute breath whistling through your nose. it would be so easy for him to take the fabric covering one of your nipples and pull it back ever so slightly. expose it to the chilled air of the limo before pinching at the hardened bud with the pads of his fingers. how long could he last doing that before he was tilting his neck downward and wrapping his lips around the pretty thing?

no! no, no, no. his thoughts came to a screeching halt when he felt his jaw tightening and his mouth growing heavy with saliva. eren swallowed his guilt down and averted his gaze towards the other end of the backseat. y’know, where you should have been sitting. 

that worked for all of two seconds before his eyes were trailing over the bewitching curve of your back’s arch. seriously, he was trying his very best to keep his gentlemanly upbringing at the forefront of his mind, but there was really only so much he could do. it wasn’t very gentlemanly of him to imagine splaying his hand across the small of your back as he slid the head of his cock into your waiting heat. or to visualize the pretty expressions your face would contort into once he had buried himself in, all the way to the hilt. 

realistically, he could do it now if he wanted. with the limo’s partition rolled all the way up, no one would be the wiser. he would only have to muffle your sounds with a hand over your mouth. 

eren had to dig his heels into the floor in order to quell the arousal gathering in his core. it didn’t help that you were still using his thigh for support. fingers occasionally dipping into the apex of the flesh whenever you leaned over a little too far. 

all the while he was losing his mind, you were absentmindedly feigning an avid interest with the lights, oblivious to how much of a mess you made him. “wow, i’ll have to keep that in mind.” and just like that, you slid off of him and back into your seat, leaving him painfully aroused and a few degrees warmer.

eren was stunned into silence for a bit. god, you were just fucking perfect, weren’t you? off the top of his head, there wasn’t a flaw about you that he could come up with. except for the fact that he hadn’t put a ring on your finger. but that was really more on him than anything. he wanted to drown himself in his own idiocy.

“hey,” when your foot connected to his shin via a soft kick, he realized he had been silent for a number of minutes. “what’s got you all quiet, mr. governor?”

he ignored the subtle stir in his groin in favor of giving you a viable response. “just feel stupid, is all.”

“stupid?”

“for having married someone that wasn’t you.”

it was just his luck that he happened to meet the woman of his dreams only after he had been married to someone else  for nearly six years. maybe it was his karma for being born  into one of the most powerful political families in america. it surely seemed to outweigh all the extraordinary privileges he had been afforded in his life. at least ordinary people got to fall in love. “i should’ve just…waited. then it wouldn’t have to be like… this. i’m sorry, (y/n).”

you deserve better, he wanted to say, but surely you knew that. never mind that he was too selfish and boastful to say such a thing out loud.

“hey,” you called, reaching over to inch your fingers, one by one, into his palm until your hands were interlocked. eren then wondered if there was a way for him to freeze this moment in time, and live in it forever—with your beguiling  vanilla scent perforating the last remnants of his common sense, nerves soothed under the gentle weight of your reassuring stare, your hand enveloped in his. “i’m not anywhere i don’t wanna be.”

eren felt his eyebrows soften, and his lungs release the breath they had been unwittingly holding. this was the sort of thing people saw just before they entered heaven. had he suffered a heart attack and died one of those times that you smiled at him?

when the car began slowing to a smooth stop, you dealt his hand a soft squeeze before pulling your own free to take your seatbelt off. “walk me up?”

“‘course.”

when he emerged from the car, his heart still thumped heavily and his skin still climbed to a fever pitch despite the catharsis of fresh summer air. he opened the door to your side of the backseat, and you sprung from the car with a light yelp. seemingly excited to be close to him again after so much time (two seconds) apart.

a choir of crickets harmonized somewhere in the woods, though eren couldn’t tell from where, given your home was surrounded by woods. maybe she likes to check the mail in her underwear, he concluded when he heard the billowing hoot of an owl. 

you practically whispered, “well,” once the two of you concluded the trek up the stone path leading to your front door. “this is me.” 

“i know.” eren purred, silently admiring the way you ascended the little stoop in front of your door and made yourself at eye level with him. speaking of eyes, yours were wide as saucers, even with the cheeky grin pinching your face. you stood with your hands crossed behind your back, heeled foot lightly tapping at the concrete. “i take it you had fun tonight?”

“i…” glancing up at the moon, you hummed and made a face as though you were greatly deliberating before reverting your eyes to him. then, you leaned in and whispered as if telling him a secret. “i had a blast.”

“that’s good to know.”

“why?” you began rocking back and forth on your feet. “wanna ask me out again?” 

“you’re a smart girl. did you go to harvard or something?”

still rocking, you playfully shoved him whilst hiding a bashful chuckle behind your palm. you must have really liked him, because that wasn’t nearly as funny as your face conveyed. 

your laughter ceased when eren steadied you with a pair of hands to your waist. without even noticing, his face had been inching closer and to yours until the tips of your noses were touching and he could taste your breath in his mouth. your lips hovered slightly over his, and when they actually brushed against each other for a fraction of a moment, simultaneous shivers wracked both of your bodies. 

finally, your hand rested upon his cheek and you fed him a soft, juvenile sort of peck. like you were two teenagers, and he was dropping you back home after your first—no, third—date. eren kissed you back, surprisingly with no urge to deepen it. this is all i need. his hands on your waist, steadying himself more than you at this point, given that the softness of your lips intoxicated him in all the best ways.

the two of you kissed like you had all the time in the world to do it over and over again. like a naive pair of courting lovers and not grown adults engaging in an affair.

you were the first to pull away, fanning his lips with a shaky exhale as you did. eren kept his eyes shut for as long as he could, afraid that when he opened them he would be back in his house, in bed next to his wife, staring blankly at the ceiling above him.

only when you removed your hand from his face and exposed his skin to the naked air did he finally let his eyes flutter open. you were still there, thankfully. quietly backing towards your front door, but there nonetheless. 

“i’ll call you tomorrow. how’s that?”

“i’ll answer. how’s that?” you turned toward the door, not even giving him the chance to answer your completely rhetorical question. when his bottom lip jutted forth in a soft pout, he concluded that he was already starting to miss looking at you.

on the upside of that, he was already excited to call you tomorrow and ask you on another date. the thought inspired a grin across his face. “perfect.”

17 SEPTEMBER 

normally, being awoken by the chipper sound of your ringing telephone was irksome beyond comprehension. especially at—you squinted toward the clock on your nightstand—eleven in the morning, sharp. if you hadn’t gone to bed last night fuzzy with the anticipation of eren’s call the next day, you’d be a lot angrier as you picked up the phone.

“he—” 

“turn on the tv, now!” hange’s voice penetrated the receiver so fast, you hardly processed your disappointment at it not being eren.

“huh?”

“find a tv and turn it on!”

hastily, with crust still framing your eyes and blurring your vision, you tucked hange between your shoulder and ear whilst fumbling around the bed for your ever-elusive remote. eventually, you located it at the foot of the bed under the covers. “what channel?” you droned, watching the machine power on with a reluctant press of your finger.

“any news, just hurry.”

mentally, you cursed hange’s sense of urgency as you flicked to and fro between channels until you landed on the first news outlet. 

there sat mikasa, in some fancy georgian diner, fervently shoving forkfuls of pie down her throat with only some of the most southern looking women you had ever seen. expensive strings of pearls adorning their necks, heads topped with flashy hats, and purses that were more than likely filled to the brim with bibles and peppermint candies. 

just when you were about to doze off again, hange shouted through the receiver once more. “are you watching?”

“yes, i am! god, would you hush?” you hadn’t meant to snap, but if hange had woken you up just to watch mikasa eat pie, you were positive you would kill them. 

“well firstly, i have to say that this pie is spectacular. the governor and i will have to make another visit whenever we’ve got a free weekend.” the way she said, the governor and i sent a sharp pang up your backbone. perhaps if you felt such guilt when he had his hands on you, or when he was telling you how pretty you were, you would have more of a backbone to speak of. “secondly,” mikasa continued, “honored as i am to be sitting with such an amazing group of women, i can’t help but feel as though i’m not being as honest as i should be.” at this, you kicked your legs out from the warmth of your comforter and scooted up toward the edge of your bed. 

“you see, a couple months ago, eren and i were delighted to find out we were expecting our first child together.” the words left her lips so naturally, you hardly had a moment to be shocked before she was onto the next sentence.

“i mean, delighted is an understatement. we were thrilled. just over the moon. since we’d had trouble conceiving before, our doctor told us not to tell many people, so really no one knew but us. but still, we were just…so happy. we’d made up a whole list of names and everything, y’know. the whole shebang.” 

of course, they were happy. over the moon, even. they were supposed to have kids. it was only the natural order of things. boy meets girl. boy marries girl. boy and girl have kids. that is what’s supposed to happen. so why did it feel as though someone had quickly and quietly plunged a dagger through your heart?

so, after he was done picking baby names and cooing over mikasa’s growing stomach, he would sneak off into the night to tell you all those things you were so desperate to hear. and how much could he have meant any of that, really? clearly not much if he had been family planning all the while. 

“then around three weeks ago, i miscarried.” at mikasa’s shaky words, a lone tear rolled out from the outer corner of her eye. it was not until one of the women sitting closest to her reached out for her hand that you realized you were now crying, too. “campaigns can be so stressful to get through, and i guess my body just couldn’t handle it.” she sniffled, her grey eyes shining tragically beautiful as ever. 

self loathing curled within your gut as if it were nausea. what business did you have crying for a miscarrying woman? it didn’t matter to you when eren was whisking you off into the night on secret dates, so why did it now?

then again, perhaps you weren’t crying for her, but for yourself. that only made you feel impossibly worse.

more women surrounded her at once, offering encouraging hands and fluorescent handkerchiefs. she took one and dotted her eyes with only the most breathtaking humility. 

“eren and i, we were just so…stuck.” stuck. you thought back to when he kissed you outside of his party. when he told you what the two of you had meant something. how stuck was he then?

“he even wanted to drop out of the race, but i begged him not to, just because i believed there was no one more fit than him to be president of the united states.” mikasa’s posture straightened, and she pushed a lock of hair back that had flown astray on her forehead. “and i still do.”

news anchor harin lee concluded the broadcast of the conference with a, “there you have it, folks.” and everything that followed was a thick blur.

hange’s voice funneled through the receiver as though they were a thousand miles away. surprisingly, you had managed to keep a hold of the phone. a heavy ringing was what filled your ears and muffled all the other noise.

hange could (sort of) be heard imploring you to stay put and not do anything stupid. though, everything below your waist felt frozen numb, so there wasn’t much room for stupid decisions anyway. 

you wordlessly placed the phone on its hook. in the back of your nearly catatonic mind, you wondered how long it would take for him to call you. doesn’t matter, you concluded. 

subconsciously, you were working overtime to keep a fresh spring of burning tears from spilling beyond your waterline. sensing the imminent headache, your hand connected with an already opened box of benadryl tucked just behind the vase on your nightstand. you dropped the pink pill on your tongue and pushed it back with a bout of saliva. the plush of your pillow could not hit your head quickly enough, and soon you had successfully forced yourself back into sleep.  

you were so gone that ten minutes later, when the long, piercing beep sounded from your phone’s receiver, you were none the wiser. the monotonous voice of the woman inside spoke nonetheless. “you have one unheard message. would you like to hear it?”

you’re all caught up!

tags ✧˖*°࿐ — @cindol @taylarxse @nyanglock @beyondsuki @ittostan @rensbby @madsoncrack @shawtynoire @braxxinterlude @kai7911

© NININIKKI. do not translate, copy, or modify my works in any way shape or form.

[maraudereestauderelb]

Dirty Secrets on a Tour Bus (Nikki Sixx x Reader)

My 666 Followers Special — Thank you so much, guys!

Let's celebrate this unholy milestone with style🖤🔥

After weeks of no privacy on tour, you finally get a moment alone – just you, some wine, and your own wandering hands. But of course, Nikki Sixx always knows how to show up at the worst (or best?) possible moment. Tension, teasing, and everything you've been trying to ignore boil over fast…

“Fuck, what were you up to before I got here, baby?”

Warnings:

smut (18+), masturbation, oral (fem. giving), thigh riding, semi-public risk, power dynamics, teasing, language, voyeurism mention (Tommy 😬), light choking, first-time oral (giving)

Tagging some moots, I think might like this: @calicodarkling, @rock-n-roll-queen, @southerntigress, @nyxxnoir, @their80smichelle, @estrangedillusions, @emerysposts, @angelsixxdoll

Alone... you couldn’t even remember when you had been alone for the last time during the past two weeks. Definitely not more than ten minutes in a bathroom. So, you had decided to stay in the tour bus while the others went out to party. Just a few hours to yourself with silence... 

You had wanted to simply read some things, to get a little inspiration, to get some ideas for songs. But Jesus, only God knew when you’d get the chance to be alone the next time! Touring as the opening act for Mötley Crüe was fun but definitely draining.  

You were lying in your bunk completely undressed with an almost empty bottle of red wine and were gently caressing your skin. All this talk about sex all the damn time, and guess who wasn’t getting any? 

You were almost unbearably tense, but you’d take matters into your own hands. Gentle touches over your breasts and thighs sent goosebumps all over your body. It had been way too long! But you told yourself to keep it slow... you had hours until the others would be back, no need to rush. You had thought about putting on low music but you didn’t bother to get up. 

You repeatedly teased yourself by getting closer and closer to where you needed to be touched without ever making it all the way. And while one of your hands was caressing your body the other was buried in your hair. You were getting completely lost in your thoughts and fantasies when out of a sudden someone banged against the door of the bus. 

You opened your eyes alarmed and grabbed the blanket. Luckily, you had remembered correctly, the door seemed to be locked. Who the fuck was already back?! And why?! Fuck, you were way too tense to be interrupted now! How on earth were you supposed to handle this?! You needed a shower. A cold one. But there were no fucking showers! 

Maybe whoever it was would go away if you didn’t react. Or maybe whoever it was didn’t have a key and had to get one first... enough time to... 

„Y/N?!“ 

Your head dropped back to the pillow with an annoyed sigh.  

„C’mon open the door! What are ya even doing? Gonna get you to the party!“ 

Hadn’t you made clear that you didn’t want to party for once?! 

„Please?“, Nikki asked hopefully and although you hated yourself, you got up. Quickly, you grabbed an oversized Shirt, that was long enough to cover everything, from underneath your bunk and walked towards the door. You’d quickly tell him that you didn’t want to party. That would be it. 

„What do you want, Nikki?! I said, I’m not going out t’night“, you told him annoyedly as you opened the door. You were tense and wanted him to piss off. 

 „Gosh, why so angry, baby?“, he smirked.  

„I’m not“, you sighed: „What is it?“ 

It was always complicated with Nikki. Never easy. You had known each other for years and he had pulled the strings to get your band on tour with them. You knew he cared, which made it even harder to understand what the hell was going on between the two of you. 

„Wanted to take you to the party“, his smirk didn’t fade. 

Why did he have to look so darn cute?! 

„I don’t wanna.“  

„Why? Ya havin’ your own party here?“ 

If he only knew... 

„I- No. I’m just tired.“  

„You don’t look tired.“  

You knew. You weren't tired. You were tipsy and horny! And he was the absolute last person you needed to see right now. There was always tension between the two of you, whenever you were together but besides a few make out sessions, nothing had ever happened. Kisses, no one ever bothered to talk about. It was confusing. You knew, he wasn’t the type for relationships, but whatever was going on between the two of you was more than a stupid friendship as well. 

„Nikki...please...“ 

„Let me come in.“ 

Why? Why? God, why?? 

„Don’t you wanna go back to the party?“ 

„Nah“, the black-haired shrugged and walked past you into the tour bus: „Not without my baby girl.“ 

You rolled your eyes.  

„Why do you even care? “Like you won’t just disappear after an hour to fuck some bitch in the restroom.“ 

„Wow, someone’s tense tonight“, he realized and turned around to you amused: „Why are ya angry with me, doll?“ 

„I’m not angry with you! I just-“  

„Need some dick?“ 

Your mouth fell open. 

„Piss off, Nikki!“ 

And while you were getting more and more angry, he seemed more and more amused. Which only infuriated you more. 

„Calm down, Y/N“, he said low and slowly walked towards you. 

Hopefully he’d just walk past you and leave the stupid bus! You were so done! 

But instead, he stopped in front of you and softly raised your chin, so you had to look at him before he gently placed his lips on yours. You closed your eyes in response and kissed him back. You tasted the whisky on his lips before he broke the kiss for a moment with your noses still touching. 

„Better?“ 

You nodded almost unrecognizable before you kissed again. This was such a stupid idea. Usually, it wasn’t a great idea but, in the state, you were in currently, it was outright stupid. But you savored the kiss too much to break it. God, you needed this. 

You let him pull you back to one of the sofas at the front of the bus where he sat down and pulled you onto his thigh. 

The kiss got more and more heated, and you couldn’t stop your hips which automatically moved against him in a pace that was fast enough to ride up your shirt. 

Nikki had his hands on your hips and helped you move when he realized you weren’t wearing anything underneath the shirt at all. With a devilish smile he said: „Fuck, what were you up to before I got here, baby?“ 

You didn’t answer but pressed your lips onto his even more desperately. Nikki’s grip got tighter on your hips until he moved them underneath your shirt to cup your breasts, forcing a soft sigh out of your lips against his. 

Your entire body tingled when he whispered into your ear: „Get on your knees for me.“ 

Nervousness ran through you. 

„Nikki, I-... I’ve never done that before“, you admitted and looked away, knowing you were blushing. He used one hand to turn your face to him again. 

„And you think that does make me want you less, babe? Because fuck, now I want your mouth even more.“ 

His words didn’t take your nervousness away, but they made you smile so you nodded and he kissed you again before you slipped down between his legs. 

He watched as you tentatively placed your hands on his thighs before you opened his black leather pants and freed his already hard shaft. Your left hand continued its way upwards to caress his stomach tenderly while your right moved to grab hold of his shaft. You weren’t sure what to do. It wasn’t like you had never seen what you were supposed to do, but your heart was beating right out of your chest. 

“Grip me tighter,” he said, voice low and rough. “Don’t be shy, baby.” 

He kept his eyes on your face, catching the slight furrow of your brow as you focused. 

Your hand was warm against him, and when you slowly stroked up and down, you hoped it felt right. His pleased grunt told you it did. A blush bloomed across your cheeks as you glanced up at him. 

“Getting the hang of it?” he teased. 

You squeezed him firmly in reproach. Nikki just grinned down at you and bucked his hips, fucking himself into your grip.  

His teasing gave you more and more confidence, so you took him into your mouth. 

„Shit“, he swore: „Do that again.“  

You gave him an innocent smile, but did as he told you. 

“That’s it”, he rasped, fingers threading into your hair as he lost control. You were breathless now, your chest rising with each inhale. 

“Shit, baby”, he groaned, completely mesmerized by the way your lips moved around him. He tried to be gentle as his grip tightened, guiding you lower with a trembling hand. 

“Y/N”, he warned, his voice strained, right on the verge - yet when he attempted to pull you back, you pushed forward, taking him deeper and sucking with purpose. You didn’t stop until he came, your name spilling from his lips like a prayer. 

„Fuck, baby, that was awesome“, he moaned and looked down to you again before he let his head roll back: „Come up here...“ 

You followed suit, sat back down on his thighs and sighed into the following kiss. 

„Are ya sure that was your first time doing that?“, he smirked between lazy kisses and closed his pants. Without answering him you just sealed your lips again and moved your body against his. Gosh, this had just gotten you more tense and needy! 

You blamed the wine. 

„Do ya need to get off?“, Nikki asked challenging and kissed your neck with his hands on your thighs again. You nodded desperately. 

„I can’t hear you.“ 

What an ass. „Yes...“ 

„Yes, what?“ 

„I need to get off...“ 

„Alright, angel“, he smirked and moved you over his left thigh. Automatically you grabbed his shoulders for balance. You couldn’t help but sigh the moment the fabric touched your already sensitive and bare core. What was he doing? 

“Go on, then”, he said with a smirk, guiding your hips gently against his thigh in a slow, steady rhythm. You let out a louder moan, biting down on your lower lip as your fingers dragged across his chest, nails short but sharp enough to leave faint pink trails. With a shaky breath, your hand found the waistband of his pants, gripping it for support as you prepared for what came next. 

Nikki exhaled deeply, settling back against the couch, clearly enjoying the view. You rolled your hips once, then again, using him for balance as pleasure began to build fast and hot in your core. God, you hadn’t expected it to feel this good. 

His palm slid across your stomach, making you flinch slightly at the sudden contact. But it didn’t stop. His hand glided up your torso, tracing between your breasts beneath your shirt. The other hand came to rest around your neck, firm but not forceful, and your eyes fluttered shut, rolling back slightly from the sensation. That was just the kind of effect Nikki had on you. 

Neither of you spoke. He let you move at your own pace, eyes fixed on you, his hand around your neck offering just enough control to ground you. You’d never done anything like this before—but it didn’t take long to figure out exactly what made you feel good. 

When suddenly the door to the bus sprung open with a loud bang against the wall. 

„Dude, what the fuck’s takin so lo- Oh“. 

You quickly stilled your movements and turned around to where Tommy was standing. You knew that from where he was standing, he wasn’t able to really see what was going on because you were still wearing the very big shirt, but he wasn’t a complete idiot so he quickly must’ve realized something was happening. 

„Fuck off, Tommy!“, Nikki shouted at him annoyed. 

„Okay, okay, I’m sorry“, the drummer smirked and raised his hands in defense: „Didn’t know ya guys are busy.“ 

You were completely still when you felt how Nikki started to move his thigh against you. It took fuckin everything in you not to moan! Why was he doing this to you?! 

„Tommy, jus’ close the fuckin’ door“, you told him with a shaky voice. You probably sounded utterly needy and desperate. 

„From the outside or are you gonna let me watch?“, he grinned. 

„Next time“, Nikki answered with a smug smirk. 

Tommy laughed as he walked out of the bus and closed the door again. 

Fuck, this was so embarrassing! 

„We should’ve probably locked that door...“, you mumbled unsure of what to do and being completely still. 

„Forget about him“, Nikki told you: „Look at me.“  

You did as he said, your gaze locked on his gorgeous eyes as he guided your hips with steady control. Breath quickening, you panted softly as he worked your sensitive core against him, sending sparks through your body. When his hand returned to your neck, squeezing the sides just enough to make your pulse jump, a low moan slipped from your lips. 

„That’s it, baby. Make yourself feel good“, Nikki whispered, thoroughly enjoying watching you lose yourself like this. You were so close - just a few more rolls of your hips - and then it hit. Your climax crashed over you, thighs tightening around his as waves of pleasure rippled through your body, leaving your mind blank and your limbs trembling. As you panted, still lost in the aftershocks, Nikki let go of your neck and leaned in, catching your lower lip between his in a slow, possessive kiss. 

When you regained your senses, Nikki was rubbing your thighs with his rough palms and kissed your neck.  

„Enjoyed that?“, he asked cheekily, as if he didn’t know you were absolutely crazy for him. 

„Uh-huh“, you grinned dumbly, satisfied and a bit drained. 

„Let’s getcha to bed then, doubt you gonna be able to party tonight on these wobbly legs“, he said with a smirk and placed both of your legs around his waist again before he got up carrying you. 

Lazily you placed your arms around his neck and hung onto him, feeling entirely at ease and satisfied.  

„Only if ya stayin’ with me“, you said hopefully and looked at him with big eyes. 

-> MASTERLIST

[blue-stripe]

trying out a new rendering style with gideon highlights from ep 26

[dynamitekansai]

WWE RAW (JUNE 9, 2025)

[ghostbustting]

vampire!Nikki sixx x reader smut where Nikki is just fucking the daylights out of her and won't stop commenting on her heart rate (superhearing) like the smug man he is.

Sorry if you don't write stuff like this feel free to reject, I just thought this sounded hot.

Love you 🩵

don't usually write stuffs like this, but hope I did well !! :")

╰┈➤“𝑪𝑶𝑳𝑫 𝑩𝑳𝑶𝑶𝑫𝑬𝑫„ ๋࣭⭑

Vampire!Nikki Sixx x Reader

Contains Smut and Blood.

The moment I stepped out into the city late at night like this, I knew it might mean trouble. Los Angeles was wild. Too wild, perhaps. You’d see people driving in cars and blasting music loudly, people partying here and there, even some fights. But here I am, only trying to make my way back home from work.

My steps weren’t calm, yet weren’t so fast either. I would’ve chosen a taxi. But I wasn’t taking the chance of getting into a taxi with a creep again. However, was walking any better?

Surely not.

The road was crowded, sure. But not every one of them would seem to give a fuck if a woman was approached by creeps, no matter how obvious a scene is going on, some of them would most likely just avoid the scene in order to ‘protect’ themselves.

Hence, I take shortcuts along my way home. Not saying it’s any safer, but it would be useful if any sketchy dudes with big hairs, leather jackets, and tattoos were going your way.

I walk into the alleyway, the lights of L.A that were always so bright, turned dim and flickering in this area. Puddles of god knows what liquid were everywhere, I had to do my best to avoid them. Which is why, black shoe soles were better in this case, hiding what would be a fucking dirty sole.

However, my steps stops when I see a figure ahead of me. His body tall, dyed black hair big and long enough to hide the back of his neck, he was dressed in black, big boots and gloves covering what would be his slender fingers.

Another thing about the Los Angeles, is that not every corner of The City of Angels was always filled with angels.

Some of the Angelenos tends to stay in the dark late at night, blending perfectly well into the shadows like a camouflage and lurking slowly behind you, catching you off guard the moment you notice them and their demeanor.

Their cold skin seems to look pale by nighttime, teeth pointy if you got the chance to see them talk, often longing for blood, their eyes always as sharp as a razor, cutting through the person’s head each time they were gazed at.

Not a single heart beat would manage to escape their ears that can hear thousands and thousands of noises all at once. But if you run, you stand no chance as they move deadly fast.

I gulped and slowly take a step back, trying not to make any triggering sound. Yet the puddle my shoe just happen to step on betrays me, making a small noise yet loud enough for him to hear.

His body turned around, his greyish green eyes meeting mine in an instant, the way he holds his eye contacts never failed to make my heart thumps loudly, which I hated, knowing he can hear them with such ease. His presence always had it’s way to seduce me, it takes a lot in me to hold back the secret desire in me to feel him.

I’ve encountered Nikki Sixx a couple times before, sometimes when he’s playing with his band, sometimes in situations like this, often finding it easy to avoid him and the troubles he’d surely bring towards my way, even though he never went too far over flirting. But seems like today just wasn’t my luck as he immediately went to me and pinned me up against the alley’s wall.

My breath hitched as I look up at him, a small grin on his lips now, his sharp teeth just slightly peeking out. “Got you now..” He murmured, the proximity between us making me able to take a sniff of his intoxicating cologne, the scent filling my nostrils as if I just walked into a fragrance boutique.

“..I’m just trying to go home..” I say sternly in order to make my statement crystal clear to him. I try to keep my eyes on his, trying to make him think I’m not scared. Which, I am, partially that is. In a way, I don’t think he’d hurt me. The thing he does might be very unexpected, but one thing about him is that his true desires are visible right in those eyes of his like a window to his heart.

Nikki chuckled, rolling his eyes as he lean down close to my ears, his cold breath meeting right against my skin, sending shivers up my spine as I stiffen up. “Then why don’t you let me take you home?” His hands slowly make their way towards my hips.

I froze and clear my throat before trying to speak again, “I don’t—”

But before I knew it, he cut my words of protest off as he lifted me up and threw me over his shoulder before he start run.. really fast. I yelp and hold onto his head tightly, grasping onto his hair. “What the fuck, Sixx?!?” I screamed, punching his shoulder over and over again as if it’d stop him.

The not so humanlike speed he had in his run made my heart beat fast, afraid of falling off, even though the firm hold he have on my hips are supposed to be enough to keep from falling. “Slow down! Fuck!” I protest, holding onto him for dear life and closing my eyes.

“Oh you’ll scream that again later!” He laughed like a maniac. I blush when I realize what he meant, smacking his shoulder again in response. I can’t tell whether to be flustered or feel the need to kill him, thought the possibility of the latter seems very very impossible.

Next thing I knew, we came into a stop.

Slowly, my eyes starts to flutter open while Nikki lay me down on my bed.. I flinch and look around, shocked to find us in my bedroom in a flash of light. It felt like only 5 seconds ago we were still in that nasty empty alleyway.

“How the fuck—"

I was cut off yet again when Nikki made his way on top of me on the bed, he was hovering over my figure with that same devilish grin he wore the whole time.

My breath got stuck in the middle of my throat as he towers over my body and took the back of one of his hand to caress my cheek. “Don’t be afraid, I don’t bite.” He whisper, then he paused before chuckling to himself, his sharp fangs being shown even more clearly now. “Well woops, that one’s a lie.”

Though I tried so hard to act like he doesn’t intimidate me one bit. Yet of course, my heart beat was too easy for him to detect and use as a proof of my intimidation, along with the heavy breaths I let out, each noise his ears catches making his grin even wider and devilish.

The eyeliner around his eye made the color of his eyes even more lighter and intriguing, those green eyes of his so majestic with the moonlight that peeks from my window shining his way, illuminating and spotlighting every single features that face of his owns.

Each blink my eyes made, they open to a different vision of him, each new vision, another new breathtaking features of his takes ahold of my attention while he continued to grin down at my statue-like state.

“Let me have you..” His voice echoes in my mind, like a sweet seduction for me to open up my heart, to let my desire take over my body just like the way his own desire take over his body. “I’ll take.. very good.. care of you..”

When his face leaned down even more, my eyes slowly flutter close on it’s own, acting as a permission for him to take an act.

Next thing I know, his hands clawed on my clothes and rip them apart with his strong bare hands, meanwhile his lips immediately move to mine, his kiss already passionate and rough from the moment our lips touched, his movements driven by lust and a burning flame in him.

I always knew no matter how wild this man can be, there are always much more deeper and wilder layers to unfold within him. And that is exactly what I’m doing right now.

Something in me myself burned, as if he shared that flame with me through our locked lips. My hands tugged on his hair while small gasps leaves me when my body became fully exposed within minutes, the fabrics that once covered my body were thrown away, his cold hands roaming over my warm body, the difference between our body temperature only making things even more intense.

Suddenly, I feel his fangs sink into my bottom lip, wincing when he licked up the blood that leaks from my lip and pull back from me, smirking as he starts to undress himself.

“Nikki..” I softly whisper, squirming on the cold sheets.

His finger then meets my lips, sushing me while he slowly take off his clothes.

With each fabric removed, more of his pale skin reveals itself, seducing me to touch him. His clothes were thrown to the floor, joining my own pile of ripped up clothes. I watch his body silently, the tattoos he had on his arms, the way his chest rise and fall, the happy trail leading down to his hard cock.

Then back up to the grin on his face as he slowly spread my legs apart. He was so tempting, his hands as cold as ice while he touch me with such lust in his eyes.

With his cock in his hand, he lead it to my cunt and slipped it in with such ease, almost immediately taking control over my hips and thrusting in and out of me with a surreal speed.

I gasp and grasp onto the sheets around me, squirming at the feeling of his cock filling every spot in me, the pleasure building up inside of me and pushing out dirty noises from my lips, the noises that only made him grin even more, his fangs showing much clearly.

His thrusts were incredibly fast, too fast to the point I can’t even keep up any more with it, yet it haven’t even been 5 minutes since he’s been inside me. My eyes were already rolling to the back of my head, my lips apart as I moaned out his name.

“Nikki..! Fuck..! Slow down..!”

“Feel good huh?!” He laughed a sinister laugh that fills my ears.

“So good..!” I nodded and pant for breath, desperate to have control of myself again. But this man above me was way stronger and powerful than I am, he knew way too much how to please me, or rather please himself.

His cock continued to thrust in and out of my tight hole, our skin meeting each other each time he thrusts, creating a loud slapping noise that harmonize along with my moans and his groans.

I could tell that he was losing control over himself, his head thrown back and he was letting out the loudest groan ever before he lean down and bury his face in my neck.

I thought nothing of it until I feel those sharp fangs strikes blood again, this time on my neck while he suck on the blood desperately, tasting me. I wince and held onto his back, tears building up in my hazy eyes.

Another sinister laugh leave his lips as he connects his lips to mine, making me taste my own blood on his tongue.

One of his hand that was previously on my hips trails up to my chest, his fingernails lightly caressing over the skin of my chest, making me arch my back and yearn for more of his touch.

“Your heart.. it’s beating very loud..” I can practically hear the grin in his voice as his nails gently press against my skin, making me think his nails are going to sink into my skin and steal my heart that is uncontrollably pounding very fast and loud. “I bet it’s for me, hmm? No man can give you this much pleasure, yes?”

The feeling of his cock continuously hitting that special spot in me made it hard for me to even utter out a single letter.

“Answer me!”

“YES!!”

I moaned out, my fingernails creating a big scratch mark down his back, making him groan and laugh once more before accelerating his thrusts. “What a slut.. your little heart’s practically beating out of your chest.. and it’s all for me.. your heart’s all mine..”

The tension behind his voice and choice of words only made the pleasure more unbearable, my toes curling as my legs shake, his hands still taking full control of my hips. “Yes! Yes!” I continued to pant out, not even able to breathe correctly.

Suddenly, I can feel my walls close up around his member, squeezing him in as I feel a strong knot on my stomach, my eyes wide and filled with tears that now stains my cheeks. “I need to cum.. please please let me..” I beg, half sobbing.

“Let go, baby.” He then held my legs up and place them on his shoulders, pausing before he thrusts even faster now.

Screams escapes my mouth as his faster thrusts pulls out the strongest release from me ever, my back arching off the sheets beneath me while his hips’ movement slowly falters as he fills me up with his seeds, shooting in white streaks all around my hole before pulling out.

As I try to take control of my breathing, his body plopped onto the spot beside me, pulling me close to his chest. “Told you I’d take care of you..” He panted out with that same grin never leaving his face.

I scoffed out a chuckle and rest my head on his chest, still panting. “What.. Whatever..”

He was breathing heavily, his chest rising up and down just like mine is, though I did not hear a single heart beat the whole time I rest on his chest.

But I suppose that’s just what he is.

A cold-blooded creature with a once dead heart that’s been brought back to live.

[spicy-butterscotch]

Super Duper Cutie Hero Nikki

Prelude- The Debut

Lin Ling becomes a magical girl, successor to previous magical girl: Hero Nikki. He takes up the mantle for both hero and idol. Aka, a fic where he is perpetually embarrassed in his new role but does it nonetheless!

Featuring: a scantily clad uniform unique to him, Crime fighting legs with tall pink boots with even taller heels, and a new sense of mortification derived from his new role and the breeze of his signature, sailor girl miniskirt.

Keep in mind that this is an alternate universe, so from the first episode of tbhx and if I'm guessing enough, three to roughly four years beforehand.

--------

Alone on the top of an advert company, was a singular figure who held skewers of fried tofu in his right hand.

The boy was carefully savouring the numbingly spicy flavours with a resigned, faraway look on his face. He munched on his snacks, ass flat against the old concrete and leaning against the base of a billboard, done with life.

A hint of tears worked through brown eyes as the boy endeavoured in rolling around the touch of mala chilli on his tongue. Spice always got to him.

Lin Ling was that singular figure situated there. The details in how he exactly got the skewers was something even murky to him. All Lin Ling recalled was the distant sensation of his legs wandering from the streets below in a daze and the echo of a chalky gasp of ‘get out!’ rattling about in his mind.

His feet wobbled from one to another from that unfortunate sign off. A departure from his internship at the one company that gave him a chance. Whilst recovering from shock and a feeling of dread swallowing him whole, he had felt his stomach pang and so, he had uttered a low murmur and gripped the familiar feeling and weight of his designated comfort meal.

He had blinked there and then, money already passing to the vendor amongst the bustling street and something satiate his hunger and excuse his sorrows. Thus, a few chilli skewers in his right hand accompanied his sorry ass to the poop deck roof of the company building.

He sniffled at the taste and waded in his sorrowful state. How was he going to pay for rent now? His internship took away his chance of his dream advertising gig away from him alongside his wishes of some sense of financial stability.

Yet, in a blink of his watery eyes, a girl stood before him, seemingly having appeared out of nowhere. She stared at him with a sly look, head turning down and then to the sides to check for witnesses. As if there would be any by the rooftop speckled in bird poo and his sorrows.

“Say, you’re like, super-duper cute! I think you’d make the perfect candidate!” 

The girl held an innocent expression, the only unnerving part was her cheshire wide grin spread across her face. She was a bit bizarre and was, well, she was… pink to say the least. A carefully curated image of eccentric tulip everywhere, starting from the pastels of her long plaited hair, down to the wedges of her stacked mary jane shoes which sported a very coquette theme.

The feeling of cold metal was tucked under Ling Ling’s chin in a single blink. He dropped his snack. In her gloved hand was a very adorable sceptre extended out, tracing his jaw. He saw it, a gleam of silver, and a pink mischievous gleam from the wand's ring that fizzled.

Status symbol of the hero Nikki. And if Lin Ling wanted to be technical, ‘magical girl Nikki’. 

“Huh.” He said. “A candidate? For what?” He echoed. Stupefied and trying to grasp a hold of the situation he was being pulled into. 

This was all too sudden. One second he was contemplating his whole life and holding his belongings in hand, the next, he was being approached by a rank twenty hero brandishing her weapon under his chin in a semi threatening manner. She was tip toeing on the line between innocent curiosity and threatening behaviour. She looked extremely trigger happy. And crazed, if he even had to spell that out.

Lin Ling felt an impending sense of dread. Her eyes pierced into his confused ones with a desperate glee.

So in short, opposed to her carefully curated public persona, Nikki was off her rockers!

“The hero gig of course. The magical heart called for you. Or like, I just found you in the crowd or whatever. I dunno. And like, I just don’t wanna do this gig anymore so I came to you.” She shrugged. That was the worst explanation Lin Ling had ever heard. It was muddled, confusing and gave no proper answers. He had better outlines given by his boss. Well, his previous one.

“Can’t I have a better explanation than that?” He cried. This was completely insane. She was completely insane! Lin Ling's previous admiration for what little news he paid attention to regarding her reported acts of heroism evaporated into exasperation. She spoke in riddles, was oddly threatening, and was convinced that of all people, he could help her with whatever she wanted.

“Okay. Hm. So like, I'm a Nikki, I’m saying ‘a’ because these powers are like, passed down from one individual to another, relative information to the public. And today is my scouting day.” She explained, hands gesturing to point to the gem. 

“Scouting.” He murmured in thought. “So, you want me to be your successor?” He said. His thoughts lingered on the broach, trying to dredge up information on Nikki. 

“Ding ding ding! You got it right!” She clapped her hands, smiling large and cat-like. He didn't like the way she said that.

Flashes of striking poses fluttered within his head. His brain shuffled through images of previous Nikki’s and their attire before letting each and every uniform he could think of, to overlap one another and finally to garner the general consensus of what it was to look like Nikki.

Memories sliding over each other and cutting out each design. Every recollection of specific boots, dresses, shoes, fluffed up hair, weapon and face extracted into this file. And with that, reigning as a result of his mind, was the image of an extremely feminine silhouette.

So, with this singular image rattling about in his pretty head, he asked. “But.. Isn’t Nikki supposed to be a girl?”

She gave a shrug. “Well not really. I told the public I was searching for someone else to fill my shoes. And you’re basically the perfect fit. Well, the only requirement is being cute and not being dumb as rocks after all. Nothing about gender.” She winked, leaning in to observe him.

She pinched his jaw between her fingers, appraising his features with an approved hum. From the slope of his nose and the crease of his eyes, her eyes dragged against the smooth portrait of the boy before her with a particularly menacing grin. He didn't even know that kind of expression was possible to pull. Nikki was truly more terrifying than what the adverts had painted her to be.

“And listen. There’s a handguide on everything so I don’t have to spill alllllll of the information. So I’ll give you a quick run through of the things I think that would be the most relevant to you.” She said, settling the sceptre down.

“One. The pay is killer. Two, I transfer my powers here, right now for you and I don’t have to search for any more candidates, fast and easy powers, right? Instantaneous, just like that.” She clicked her fingers.

“Three, you get to be a hero.” She struck a pose. "The only reason I don't want to be Nikki anymore, is because I want go on a permanent vacay overseas, and the fact that I'm not cut out to be Nikki." She admitted.

"I hate cardio with a passion and even if I don't get tired for hours on end, I did it for the pay. I'm cute to boot sure, but I can just get back to my old streaming job. You on the other hand had this rock literally pulling me to you. The Nikki before me just chucked the broach and I became her, just like that. You have a legitimate calling." She said.

She took his hand in his, grappling his fingers to touch the broach. He felt static brushing with life underneath his skin, tickling against the surface, warmth skimming under his nerves.

"You felt it right?"

He nodded.

"The handbook described some dumb fizzling touch to be experienced, but I had to literally beg this cold stone to at least cooperate." She said.

Lin Ling gave one look over her costume, then to the box on the side. “How much is the pay?” He asked.

Her eyes creased up as she handed him a sheet of paper. “This is the amount I settled on initially” 

He took it gently, glancing over the terms and the clauses before settling on a humongous number. He looked down once more in doubt, then his eyes turned as big as saucers. 

It was an unbelievable amount for Lin Ling. If he worked twenty years at his dream advertising job, it wouldn’t have even amounted to half the pay the gig was promising him. Suddenly, the prospect of possibly crossdressing didn’t seem so dire at that moment. All shame aside, even if he made a total ass of himself im public, he would have the opportunity to retire in the same year and fly off the radar to bum ass nowhere. Maybe he could scamper to a nice town, dilly dallying with his fine arts and mixed media degree taking freelance work. He wanted to experience being a hero as well, just one taste of helping others from the goodness of trust and the want of his soul. This was his chance.

“So? Whadaya say?” She smiled expectantly.

He really had nothing to go back to. An orphan with a handful of cash in his bank account and a degree that settled in his apartment with a dust collecting flaccid flair.

He gave a meek nod. He was jobless and desperate. She grinned. 

She took a step back in preparations and oddly enough, he heard the sound of a choir, winding out a melody of tear jerking beauty. Angelic. Against his will, Lin Ling felt a tear rip out of his tear duct, clinging onto his lashes. This was simply absurd.

Pressing a kiss to her ring and index finger, Nikki tapped the gemstone surface. The cockroach sized broach attached itself onto the pads of her fingers, magnetised to the graceful motion of her hands.

A sharp and blinding light pierced his view as the world shuttered to a stop, blending out to a canvas of white and tuning out every background noise to focus on this singular moment, a cry of importance, a wail of attention. 

Lin Ling thought it was rather pretentious how the world had to single handedly adjust to the magical girl. It was basically calling out for everyone, proclaiming ‘Hey, everybody look at me!’ in its fit of glittery glory.

Nikki levitated, rising up as if her single supporting point was her chest. Her head was tossed back and her eyes closed. In a flashy, and admittedly beautiful show of grace, she softly gripped around the broach to part with it, the action from her arm causing an arc of pure light to stretch out. That dainty hand extended out, severing the ties between hero and human. 

In that final dance of departure, everything reverted back to its normal self.

The cars honked their discordant symphony once more, and what sounded like an angelic choir had been stamped out by the muddy reality of life. He heard the distant smash of glass but was too bamboozled by what he had just witnessed to glance down at the eruption of what was possibly fire.

Shock. He was in a state of shock. Witnessed through the view of blinding animated sparkles. Maybe he was getting second thoughts about the role after all.

“Here.” Nikki said. Her physical attributes were unaltered, only her attire adjusted. Same pink eyes and hair staring back at him with that familiar catty smile, only now, she was wearing casual jeans and a tank top. She pinched the broach between her fingers with a particular delicacy and proceeded to gently press the gem to his chest, settling it to her successor’s sternum.

And maybe it had felt good. The way he was submerged into this silky feeling of heady intoxication. He slowly tucked himself into a ball as the feeling inside him grew, slowly dragging him into that protective pose, a want to preserve the influx of rising heat, vivid and swallowing him in its inviting nature. He didn't notice that his feet lifted off the floor and that showy transformation he had been aghast at before, was being applied in a much showier way to him.

He felt the gem nestle into his skin, sinking and merging into him. Attached with the stone was a gradual fuzzy feeling spreading from that contact point to every inch of his body.

He was settled back down, arms supporting his coy posture with a lax feel in his body, stress evaporating from the confinement of his mind.

“It feels warm.” He murmured, looking up drowsily with a half lidded gaze. Face flushed, and dizzy with the rush of strength inside of him in that final bid. It made him a bit lethargic. If Lin Ling had held even a semblance of common sense in that moment, he would have realised the way he had held a stupidly sensual expression on his face. Stupidly ditzy and blissed out.

“Perfect.” She smiled down at him, face held a sweet expression curled with satisfaction. “You’ll be the perfect idol.” 

“Do yourself a favor, and test out the new powers. Step off the roof with or something like that.” And just like that, she vanished into a puff of pink smoke. He looked down at the broach. He was a hero. 

He remained there, legs lightly spread, shiny pink boots planted on the floor and with breezy mini skirt for company. He sighed, staring at the sunset, then a new feeling clocked him. It was sobriety. Sudden, like a sharp whack to the head.

He shuddered as he felt a creeping cold breeze flitter through his inner thighs, tickling the skin there. His face paled. ‘I-, Surely it would spare me some dignity.’ He thought.

He casted a cautionary view to the flocking birds and the rooftop door behind him. Not a soul in sight. Lin Ling then proceeded to flip the frilly skirt up, peer down, and groan.

It was a pair of panties! It was no wonder he felt the wind tickle his thighs more than usual. The sheer material was scandalously cut. Low rise with just barely enough coverage to protect his dignity but not enough to preserve his sanity.

His face flushed in embarrassment and distress. Lin Ling closed his eyes and prayed that the skirt would do something better than the atrociously small coverage on his behind. 

A nervous gaze opened to witness one menial change, an additional lace layer frilling the underside. A feeling of faintness overcame his senses.

Maybe he was just some floozy ass showing pervert at heart. However, at least he had come to the revelation that his praying didn't come to naught. One added layer in its minimal amount was still one layer more than the previous. 

He closed those eyes once more and prayed with a fervent desire, hoping his sheer will would bend the perverse nature of his clothing choice. 

He opened his eyes.

A skirt, fluffy and airy with frills galore stuck under a masterfully sewn layer of silk. It was an improvement from the sheer layer that fluttered in an obscenely showy fashion. Yet, it was still only eight inches long. 

He pressed his face into his hands in dismay, groaning. Why did the outfit treat him this way? Every other Nikki costume was kid friendly with a squeaky and pretty sticker on top, a stamp of green approval. Why was it that it was only him that had the coverage of a female nurse Halloween costume? Scantily clad with the taste of a breeze brushing under him.

He felt hesitancy grip his heart.

Walking out in this state? No dice!

Yet, just before he was going to stomp back, he felt an echo rippling at his heart strings. He recalled Nikki’s words. ‘Hero.’ That maniacal voice uttered. Then, the image of rolling zeroes tumbled behind his eyes and dollar signs.

He casted his view down to the city. To the roads and civilians like him, scared in their vulnerable mortality and praying for any sort of heroic or divine intervention. A plea for help, a grasp at mercy.

He sighed.

It was a call for duty to the world below. So, the hero gave a hesitant inch forward in those toppling heels, shuffling forwards in relief and a bit of confusion at his newfound adeptness to striding in those dangerous heels. It was surprisingly comfy.

He hoped that he inherited the powers properly and that his fate wouldn’t be felt out as a pink splat on lackluster cement. That his last moments wouldn't be seen by wearing a sketchy outfit as him being mistaken as some crossdressing pervert with a pink kink for distressingly short skirts. The boy closed his eyes and leapt off the ledge with a touch of heroism and newfound determination. 

The paycheck would also cover therapy. Physio and mental.

-------

Hope you enjoyed! Joy was cranked into this. And perhaps a semi sadistic glee. I'm shameless in my advertising, please tell me if you want more of this and I'll whip out my first full chapter on ao3 of Hero Nikki Ling Ling!!!

Now, if you want to see my account on ao3, just click on this !

And psst, check out this post by @jonas-ct !!! I simply adore their take on magical girl Lin Ling!

[pretzlforpresident]

Sonadowtober day 7: Paranormal

Organized by @sonadowtober :>

+ Bonus doodle that I was going to finish but didn’t have enough energy

[avicinda]

Something something the Faewish Sprites being so childlike in mentality not just being a joke but being an integral core of the narrative and characters. The role of Wish Master is not just spiritual leader but almost like a parent—Chigda nearly got away with everything because the Faewish Sprites don't have any reason to question the sole "adult" in their lives. Avicinda is like the "big kid" pushing everyone around because he says so but he still answers to Chigda.

And then Giroda being ostracized from the moment he awakened and then being pushed out of their home—because of this and then traveling with Nikki all over Wishfield, he gains more life experience than most of the other Faewish Sprites. He often comes across somewhat more mature than them in cutscenes with several of them. And the fact his lowest point is in the cave where he's regressed so hard he is crying for his parents?

The Coming of Age Ceremony being Giroda's first action as the new Wish Master is not a coincidence I think. This is his coming of age story too and that's the moment that cements him as the new "adult" in Faewish society...

Although. I think Eltinada went through his own "coming of age" in the Farewisher storyline in a very different way, it's just that we only came into it at the very end of his narrative.

[thoughtkick]

We love because it's the only true adventure.

Nikki Giovanni

[thisgeisha]

IN THE BODY

I am digging inside myself

I am trying to discover bones that are meant for fighting

But I only decay

From dust to dust, they say

Like the lorazepam I just crushed

Snort

Swallow

Digest

I can find false peace here

Struggling to breathe I reach for water

Drowning in the glass I poured for myself

Typical

Classic

Here lies the girl that never learned to swim

In the body she came in

-NL

[nininikki]

𝒷𝓊𝓉 𝒹𝒶𝒹𝒹𝓎 𝒾 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝒽𝒾𝓂

⨾༊󠀺 summary: a beautiful socialite and a starving artist come to terms with what their love really means.

⨾༊󠀺 warnings: angst (sorry), class differences, arguing/yelling, reader is a spoiled brat and eren loves her anyway (lmk if i missed anything!)

⨾༊󠀺 author’s note: just a little something i wrote 🙈 nikki write something happy challenge GO

⨾༊󠀺 word count: 2.5k

8:17 PM

“this is the last time i’ll tell ya, (y/n),” the penetrating force of your father’s voice coupled with the strangled squeak of chair legs against the hardwood floor made your spine tense. as though someone had reached into your back and pulled it taut. “i don’t want ya seein’ that boy.”

was your head about to explode? could that be the reason for the ringing that filled your ears? the sudden heaviness of your tongue? as he rose from his seat, you couldn’t help but notice how utterly cloaked you were under the shadow of his stature. “why, daddy?” you hardly registered the force with which you pushed your own chair away from his desk as you stood. “‘cause he’s poor? ‘cause he’s not goin’ to yale? ‘cause he doesn’t have a membership at the club? ‘cause he actually wants to somethin’ worthwhile with his life?”

“tch, worthwhile.” he scoffed as he breached the exit of his study. “the boy wants to do art. he draws pictures, for crying out loud!”

“you’ve seen his paintings, daddy. they’re beautiful.” you staunchly defended, hot on his heels through the hallway and nearing the stairs. “and his name is eren.” the single, thin string of gold around your neck seemed to grow warmer and heavier with the mention of his name. 

“i don’t care if his name was picasso,” your father spat, “you’re not seein’ him again, and that’s that!” 

tears welled in your eyes, but refused to fall. a sob lodged uncomfortably within your throat. “but, daddy, i love him.”

for the first time since the topic arose, your father’s eyes met yours. halfway down the stairs, with the vein in his temple pulsing incorrigibly, he turned to look at you. “you don’t know what love is.”

an incredulous scoff escaped your mouth, and that is when the tears began to trail down your cheeks. not from despair, or heartbreak, but anger. “and you do?” you retorted, gingerly making your way closer to him. “you haven’t loved anyone since mom.”

“i have loved you,” he jabbed his finger in the direction of your face, stopping less than an inch away from the bridge of your nose. “and that has been enough.” his scotch scented breath fanned over your face in the most infuriating, condescending way imaginable. “since your mother died, i have given my life to loving you. protecting you!” you had never heard him sound so eerily vulnerable in your entire life. “and this is the thanks i get? you running off into the sun with dr. seuss?”

you took a step backward up the staircase, your chest heaving rapidly and face surely streaked with sloppy lines of mascara. “how could you say that, daddy? he makes me so happy. how could you say that?”

“well, the things that make us happy hardly ever benefit us, do they, honey?” you caught him chuckling beneath his breath, as if the idea of you having your own opinion was something so funny. “you don’t see it now, but one day you’ll thank me for this.”

then, he circled around you like a vulture, loosening his tie as he ascended the stairs and ventured in the direction of his room. “you’re not seein’ ‘im again. that’s final.”

in the last bit of protest left in your lungs, you shouted, “you can’t make me!”

his hoof-like footsteps came to a halt, but he hadn’t even turned to look at you. “if you love this boy more than your trust fund, i guess i can’t.” 

11:27 PM

hey

talk didn’t go so well

can i come over in like 30

the texts had hardly delivered fully before you were yanking the pajamas off your body and shoving your limbs into the fancy fabric of a stray, hanging dress. a pair of sandals was next. then, eren’s leather jacket. then, your purse. your body was on autopilot as it pried your window open and climbed down the trellis outside of your room. as you pulled your bmw from the driveway and didn’t stop it until you were outside eren’s apartment.

only then did you finally stop to look at your phone. through blurred vision you made out a text that said, just knock when you’re up.

***

eren was beginning to really detest the smell of cigarettes. he had a smoker for a father, and the smell clung to him like a second skin growing up. so it wasn’t as though it was unusual. resentment would be a more fitting word, he concluded. 

the first time he brought you to his place, you sneezed violently upon reaching his floor. his neighbor was an avid smoker, but he wasn’t aware the smell was strong enough to warrant any bodily reaction past a slight gag. it wasn’t your fault, he knew that. he had taken you all around the city that day, and your delicate nose had not agreed with any of it. “i’ve got some zyrtec inside, if you want.” he offered.

“it’s fine, ‘ren, seriously. this is, like, my third sneeze all day.”

it was actually your ninth. he had been counting.

so, yes, resentment was probably the best word. 

as your signature triad of knocks sounded against his door, eren couldn’t help but hope his neighbor had up and kicked the habit. if not forever, then just for this night of all nights.

talk didn’t go so well

he mentally recounted the text as he braced himself against the doorknob. didn’t go so well could have meant any number of things, and he would have no way of knowing for sure until—

another set of knocks disrupted his train of thought, this time accompanied by a wet sniffle.

eren had barely gotten the chance to look at you after nearly swinging the door off its hinges. he could feel you crying. the uncontrollable spasming in your arms and shoulders, choppy breaths turned to weak coughs, your mouth frozen agape in a muffled scream, forehead burrowing itself into his wishbone.

“hey, talk to me,” he whispered, trying to pull your face out of his shirt, hoping it would give you room to breathe if just for a moment. what little he could see of your face was soaked with tears tinged with tension. “it’s gonna be okay, baby, just talk to me.”

it took a couple minutes, wherein eren had led you into his bedroom, freed your shaking shoulders from his jacket, and just barely managed to get you to produce coherent sentences. 

“i’m sorry, eren.” you sighed in what seemed to be utter defeat. your feet swinging to and fro off the side of his bed, bare after you kicked your sandals off. “i tried to make him understand, but he’s never gonna.” at the last word, you let your forehead collapse onto his shoulder with another deep sigh.

as another tear fell from your eye and rolled into the groove above your top lip, eren began to wonder exactly what it was your father had said. he was the very embodiment of foreboding. they had met only once, and eren couldn’t recall him conveying anything resembling approval or even warmth. not in his eyes, his demeanor, or the half-grunts he had substituted for speech.

“hey, hey, look at me.” gently, he took your face in his hands, coaxing your eyes in his direction whilst thumbing away stray tears. “what’d you tell me a couple days ago, hm?” you batted your eyes in a way that made his heart skip before petulantly rolling them. with your face bunched up so delicately in his hands, your fluffy lashes casting soft shadows against your wet cheeks and eyes swimming in vulnerability he could see his reflection in, eren felt for a moment the two of you could transcend all those superficial labels that made loving one another such a challenge.

you were not rich, nor was he poor. there was no yale pre-law track in your future, and he was not an artist struggling to support himself. when you gazed into each other’s eyes with such soft yearning, you were just a man and a woman.

“nobody had to understand but us.” you muttered under a sniffle, momentarily closing your eyes as though the act of optimism physically pained you. just when eren thought he was about to smile, you spoke again. “but, ‘ren, it’s worse this time. he said he didn’t wan’ me seein’ you anymore. or else he’d take away my trust fund.”

in the latter bit of your sentence, your voice became eerily resolved for someone vocalizing every rich kid’s nightmare. the sudden calmness frightened him eons more than your crying. because try as you might to hide it, eren knew you loved being rich. you wore your gold and diamonds like a second skin, almost like a coat of armor. he knew you loved horseback riding, as well as excursions on your father’s yacht. you very scarcely discussed it with him (out of respect, he assumed), but he had become content with the fact that you would choose your money over him every single time.

“i won’t ask you to choose me.”

“what?” your voice cracked over the word. “eren, that’s what i came here to do.”

“well then stop it,” the words flew from eren’s mouth almost instinctively, as though something in his very biology felt that you were too good for him. although there was no denying that as the truth. everything about you—from the heavenly sound that was your laugh to the stack of golden cartier bracelets adorning your wrist. you were better than him, so much so that there wasn’t even a way to describe it. “please, (y/n), just stop.”

you scoffed, dipping your hands into his as incredulity knitted itself within your eyebrows. “stop? stop? no, eren, you don’t get it.” you shook your head vigorously, face straightening out as though you were regaining sense with every movement. “i came here to tell you that i’m choosing you. you’re what i want.”

he studied the curve of your trembling lip, silently wondering if you had gone mad and forgotten exactly what world you were living in. you spoke with the easiness of a girl who never had a worry in her life. eren loved that about you, even now when you sounded more foolish than anything. 

“and you know i can’t let you do that, right?” eren massaged the center of your palm with his thumb in an attempt to remain grounded. he knew it would be all too easy to let himself fall face first into your little fantasy, if only to keep you just a little longer. if he were a more selfish man, he would have. “i won’t let you do that.”

“won’t let me?” you pulled one of your trembling hands away to wipe the fresh tears spilling on your cheek. “please, eren, you’re startin’ to sound like my daddy.”

“well, maybe if he couldn’t talk some sense into you, i can.”

even as eren watched you process each word from his mouth, he was still shocked when you yanked your hands out of his altogether. “don’t tell me…” shakily, you got to your feet. “y-you’re turnin’ me away? you’re sending me back to him?”

“if by him you mean your father who loves you—”

you wasted no time at all interrupting him. it wasn’t exactly hard to tell that you were still grappling with the idea of being told no. “—oh for fuck’s sake, eren! how could you even say that knowing—”

“—and wants the best for you, then yes—”

“—how he feels about you? about us—”

“then yes, i’m sending you back to him!” the words erupted from his mouth and filled the air like poisonous smoke. he was standing now, towering over you, trying to convey the seriousness of the situation through a facade of dominance. had he ever screamed at you before now? the answer was written all over your face in big, wet eyes and a mouth contorted open in a silent cry.

“why?” a sob wracked your body. “i mean, why, eren? i thought you loved me.”

“more than anything, baby. and that‘ll never change. but sometimes love just isn’t enough.”

“love is the only reason i’m here! do you think i would be giving up my entire life if i didn’t love you?”

“and you think i would just let you do that if i loved you?” eren breathed as he fixed the strap of your dress that hung loosely off your shoulder. he tried his hardest to concentrate on how beautiful you looked, and not how he would never be able to afford to buy you anything this nice. “i won’t let you ruin your life so you can play house with me, okay? i care too much for you.”

you crossed your arms over your chest, and said something eren never imagined he would hear you say, “fine.” you said it with such an obvious facade of resolution that eren knew it was too easy to be real. “look me in the eyes and tell me you want me to go away.”

“don’t ask me to do that.”

“it’s the only way you’re getting me out of here.”

eren took a moment to look into your eyes. he had become so good at drawing them that he could do it blindfolded. he brought his hands to either side of your neck and felt your pulse begin to thump at the contact. he wished he could sketch that sweet sound and keep it tucked so close to his own heart that the beats began to synchronize. god, why did you have to make this so hard? 

he kissed you before he could even stop himself. he wanted to curse himself for being so weak, but he was hardly in his right mind whenever he kissed you. he savored the taste of your tongue and the softness of your lips. he kissed you until he could taste the bitterness of your tears. he kissed you so deeply, so passionately that he almost forgot why he was kissing you in the first place. almost.

eren broke away, and did his very best to keep his eyes trained on yours. “(y/n),” a mascara-colored tear streak stained the side of your nose. it’s not fair, eren lamented, holding your face in his hands as steadily as he could. “please go. go live your life, and don’t come back here.”

“you want me to leave?” you whispered as though you were saying some horrible curse word. “is that what you’re saying?”

“yes,” he took his hands off you and moved back a few paces, more for his sanity than yours. “i want you to go.”

silently, you moved across the room to slide your shoes back over your feet before exiting the room in a flurry of ferocious clicks against the floor. 

eren trailed awkwardly behind you, hoping to see you out despite knowing it would only twist the knife deeper inside him. “you’ll thank me for this one day.” he called out as you swung open his apartment door.

without even turning to face him, you sniffled, “fuck you, eren.” before slamming the door behind you and disappearing down the hall.

[maraudereestauderelb]

Lipstick & Bad Decisions (Nikki Sixx x Reader)

You're tired of bad dates and boring men in suits who only see your face and not your fire. But the last person you'd ever let yourself want is your reckless best friend, Nikki. That is… until one fight too many...

“The only reason I haven’t fucked you yet is because I have no interest in having daddy’s little girl next to me, crying in the morning when I tell her to leave.”

Warnings:

Friends to lovers, angst & unresolved tension, verbal fights, alcohol use, soft smut vibes / heated kiss, strong language

Also: Pre-Fame Nikki

You sighed as you looked at the mirror in front of you. Your night had been awful! The date you had, had been nothing but horrible. You really started to get sick of it. Rich men - usually older than you and better educated and yet unable to keep up an interesting conversation! You knew you weren’t stupid, but most of the time you felt like the men you dated would enjoy it much more if you were. Pretty to look at but without a brain.  

You sighed again.  

You just couldn’t help it! You weren’t into men in fancy suits, acting like real gentlemen, successful. Why were they all the same? So goddamn boring…  

When your latest date had tried to kiss you over an hour ago, obviously hoping for an invitation inside, you had backed off, thanked him for the nice evening and had rushed through the door to your apartment. Next time was going to be better. The next guy was going to be the right one. As if that wasn’t what you always told yourself!  

At least your best friend seemed like he had a great night. Nikki’s idea of a great night. Only a moment ago Nikki had given you a quick call asking for help and by now you already knew what that meant. Of course, you knew after years of being friends. It meant you would walk over to his place and make a scene. 

After you had switched your fancy dress for a more comfortable blue jeans and a black shirt, you walked over to his apartment. Thankfully, he lived just down the road.  

You took out the keys for his apartment and took a deep breath before you opened the door. You were ready for an Oscar-worthy performance.  

You headed directly for his bedroom and opened the door to it happily exclaiming: “Hey baby, surprise!”  

The girl next to Nikki in bed looked like she was about to have an heart-attack but by now you were used to any kind of reaction, so you kept going with an equally shocked face-expression: “Nikki! I- What the hell are you doing?! What is this!”  

For a second a soft grin found its way to Nikki’s lips before he was back in character: “Oh shit, Y/N…I swear, baby, let me explain this!”  

He jumped out of the bed, only dressed in his briefs, and tried to get close to you but you pushed him away: “Don’t touch me, you unfaithful little bastard!”  

“You have a girlfriend?!”, the girl in his bed found her voice again. Your signal.  

“Looks like he had a girlfriend!”, with these words you ran out of the bedroom again and out of the apartment, down the stairs. It had turned into a routine. You were doing this about twice a month, although it had started to become more often over the past weeks, and like every time you hid behind a big tree outside the building until Nikki’s one-night-stand had left before you made your way back to his apartment.  

You had thought about going home this time, but you didn’t, although you were horribly tired and exhausted.  

“Oh there she is, my sweet little girlfriend!”, Nikki laughed when you entered his messy living room.  

He was sitting on his sofa and, thankfully, had put on a shirt and a pair of sweatpants. 

 “I’m really not in the mood, Nikki”, you rolled your eyes and crossed your arms in front of your chest.  

“You alright, princess?”, he eyed you puzzled with a big grin on his lips before he opened himself another bottle of beer, which had been standing next to a few others on the coffee table. God, this man was slowly killing you …  

“I’m great, thanks for asking. But if there is nothing else, I can do for you, I’ll go home now”, you had already turned around when his voice caught you between steps: “Hey, stop, Y/N! What’s wrong?”  

You sighed but turned around.  

“Nothing. I’m just wondering when you’re finally growing up and at least learn how to deal with your one-night-stands on your own.”  

Ignoring your words he teased you: “Shitty night, huh?”  

“Yes, Nikki. I had an awful night!”  

“Another boring rich dude?”, he asked sounding a lot more bitter than he had intended. 

Sometimes you caught yourself wondering what would have happened if Nikki had ever asked you out on a date. You wondered if you’d have accepted his invitation… But except some drunk flirting, you had never been anything but friends. 

After all you both had pretty different expectations of life, so you had told yourself. Nikki was funny. Nikki was smarter than anyone gave him credit for. Nikki was handsome. But besides that, Nikki was an asshole. He was impulsive, reckless and adventurous. He had absolutely no plan for his life! And that shit could be exhausting! 

“Yes, Nikki, another boring rich dude, not like it’s your business.”  

“I’m your friend. It’s my business”, he answered before he took another pull on his bottle.  

“And you’re drunk.”  

“Whatever. Sit down princess! Grab a beer and tell good ol’ Nikki all about your horrible date with that boring little piece of shit”, with these words he petted the place next to himself.  

“I don’t drink beer, Nikki, and you know that”, you pursed your lips.  

“I know, I know”, he grinned and got up from the sofa moving towards you. He came so close he left you unable to move. You hadn’t expected him to get this close.  

“Look at that cute pout of yours, princess.” His thump swiftly brushed over your lower lip making your breath hitch in your throat before he turned around like nothing had happened: “Just let me check if I have something for you to drink. Because I like you so much better when you’re drunk.”  

After biting your lip involuntarily his words got through to you while he was looking through a cupboard filled with different bottles.  

“Beg you pardon.”  

“What?”  

“What do you mean, you like me so much better when I’m drunk?”  

“You’re not that uptight and stuffy when you’re drunk”, he explained looking through the bottles without realizing how much he had offended you.  

“Are you kidding me, Nikki?”  

“No, why?”, he asked confused and finally found a bottle of cheap wine: “Here we go, princess!”  

“Nikki, I’m serious.”  

“What? You are uptight and stuffy.”  

“I’m not!”  

“Yes, you are! Otherwise you wouldn’t date all these boring, rich fuckers!”, he shouted at you.  

Fuckin’ hell, this topic made him sick every damn time. Nikki despised your choices in men, not because they were boring and shallow, but because he could never be like them.  

“You know damn well why I do that!”  

“Yeah, this entire “A girl has to look out for herself”-bullshit!”, he laughed and sat down: “The way I see it, you have two choices. Either you go home, or you sit down and get drunk with me, so you and I forget how underfucked you are.”  

“What?!”  

“It’s true! That’s why your always so tense and bitchy! None of these other dudes manages to give it to you the way you would need it to loosen the hell up!”  

He had no idea why he was saying this and he wanted to stop it, but he couldn’t. He wanted to stop shouting at you, but no one ever managed to rile him up the way you did!  

“My sex life is none, I repeat: NONE, of your business, you insensitive asshole!”, you shouted back at him. Why was he saying this? How could he?  

“I know it’s not!”, he got up again: “Besides the fact that it’s technically nonexistent.”  

“Because I’m not like the girls you fuck every now and then?!  I don’t sleep with the guys I date because I choose not to, but I could! I swear one word and even you’d take me to your bedroom to take me yourself!”  

His eyes grew wide.  

“What? Don’t tell me that’s not the truth, Nikki!” Tears started to run down your heated cheeks, making his knees weak. What had he done?  

“Y/N…”  

He had lost all confidence and slowly started to realize what he had just thrown at you. He shouldn’t have said that. It only took him the blink of an eye until he had run over to you.  

“Fuck, Y/N…I…I didn’t mean to say that! I’m such an ass…please- please stop crying, babe”, he tried to grab your hands, but you escaped his touch.  

“Answer me, Nikki”, you sobbed: “Is this what this is all about? You haven’t had enough yet? You want me to get this other bitch back here?”  

Fuck, this man had you wrapped around his finger and didn’t even know it. Of course, your entire body was screaming for him, begging for his touch! But you couldn’t give in… you couldn’t lose him as a friend… you just couldn’t.  

“No, no, no”, he quickly answered and wanted to press your body against his but you raised your hands in defense: “Don’t touch me!”  

“Y/N…please, I’m sorry!”  

“You’re my best friend, Nikki! How can you…why would you say that?!”  

“Because you made me lose my shit!”, he let his shaking hands roam through his dark hair and over his face: “And I’m sorry!”  

“I made you lose your shit?!”, you felt anger growing inside of you again: “Why? Because you can’t stand the truth?!”  

“I can’t stand the truth?!”, he exhaled sharply: “Am I the one crying again because I don’t get what I want?! Fuck, the only reason why I haven’t fucked you yet is because I have no interest in having daddy’s little girl next to me, crying in the morning when I tell her to leave!”  

Unable to say a word you stared at him for a while. Obviously he was as shocked by his words as you were and yet he couldn’t take it back, although it was one of the biggest lies, he had ever told anyone.  

“Fuck you, Nikki”, you said before you turned around and wanted to leave his shit hole of an apartment. You had to go. You couldn’t look at him any longer.  

You heard his steps behind you and tried to walk faster, not giving a shit what else he had to say. He wanted to hurt you? He had reached his goal!  

“Y/N, wait!”, he grabbed your wrist and turned you around as fast as he could and before you were able to do anything against it or were able to understand what was happening, he had pressed his lips against yours. Your eyes widened in shock before they suddenly fell shut.  

You didn’t want to return the kiss, but you couldn’t resist. You had waited so long for this, his presence took over all your senses. One of his hands was still wrapped around your left wrist and the other against your back, pulling you closer, while his lips tenderly moved against yours. God, you had always wondered what he would taste like. You wanted him. Fuck, how badly you wanted him. But not in the way he wanted you…  

And the moment, you remembered this fact, you finally escaped his lips and before you were able to control yourself your palm had hit his cheek with a loud smacking noise.  

“Why did you do that?”, you shouted at him angrily and still out of breath.  

He had kissed you. Nikki really had kissed you. Fuck, and it was hard for you to stand properly. You needed more of this. More of his kisses. More of him.  

“Why did I do that? You just slapped me!”, he looked at you shocked.  

“Because you kissed me!”  

“Yeah? That’s a reason to slap me?”  

“Why did you do that?!”, you shouted again, ignoring his words.  

Exactly. Why had he done that? He wished he had the answer to that.  

“I…Y/N- I knew if you had left this time, I never would have seen you again…I had to stop you from leaving and I didn’t know what else to do…”, he answered honestly and for the first time you were able to see the pain behind his eyes.  

“I can’t let you leave me, okay?”, he answered: “I shouldn’t have kissed you, baby…”  

Breathless you were staring at him. You didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t let you leave. What was that supposed to mean? Wordless you reached out for his lower lip, to wipe away the stains of your lipstick, but he reached for your hand to stop you in your way.  

“I swear, princess, if you do this now, I can’t guarantee anything”, he growled with a deep voice, you weren’t used to but send a shiver down your spine.  

“Nikki…”, you whispered still not sure what to say, only inches away from screwing all your principles. And you hated him for it, but yourself even more.  

“Yes?”, he leaned his forehead against yours.  

“W-what is this supposed to be?”, you were looking down to your hands nervously: “Because I really want you… listen, you won and I-”, but he interrupted you, gently lifting your chin up, so you would look into his eyes: “Y/N, don’t…”  

Was he really about to do this? After all those nights he had spent awake thinking about you, about this exact situation, he was telling you to stop, when you finally wanted what he had wanted this entire time? Fucking hell, he loved you! He felt like he had been thrown into ice-cold water when the realization hit him like a train. He loved you. And he couldn’t risk you leaving.  

“Y/N”, he sighed, not knowing where to start. He knew there was no way you’d feel the same. He wasn’t good enough for you. He had known it right from the start. But he couldn’t hide it any longer. He was sick of lying to himself every damn day!  

“The truth is”, he inhaled deeply: “The only reason I haven’t had you in my bed already is because I'd have no fucking idea how to treat you right in the morning, Y/N.” 

 “W-what?”, you asked puzzled.  

“I don’t know anything about this, okay? I want to treat you right. I want to give you what you deserve. But I can’t! I just can’t, Y/N…I want to but I can’t…”  

“Nikki, are you- what?”  

“You know it’s true… I don’t have a fucking job! I don’t have a perspective! I’m just hopping from one band to another, drinking and fucking around! I am not what you want!”  

“But you are, Nikki!”, you demanded the second you understood what he was trying to say and softly placed your palm against his cheek: “You are what I want!”  

“No, you don’t mean that! You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into!”  

“You’re right…”, you admitted almost crying again: “I don’t know that. But I don’t care, Nikki.”  

“I’m just going to disappoint you…sooner or later.”  

“You won’t! I trust you, okay?”  

Without hesitation he sealed your lips once more and this time you weren’t backing off. You quietly moaned into the deep kiss, filled with so much desperation you forgot to breathe. He immediately took his chance to caress your tongue with his. Your fingernails were buried in his shirt and excitement flooded your entire body. Fuck, how much you loved this man.   

You kissed until you were gasping for air, your faces still so close you could feel your hot breaths against each other’s sensitive skin.  

“You’ll have to be patient with me, Y/N…”  

You chuckled: “I promise.”  

“Fuck, you are so beautiful”, he exhaled as his thumb caressed over your soft cheek.  

“You are doing great so far.” You smiled up at him.  

“Tell me, princess, what am I supposed to do now?”  

You hesitated a moment while you were caught up in a fight with yourself, before you answered: “After I already screwed over one of my rules tonight, I’ll better go now. And tomorrow morning you are going to call me so you can ask me out on a proper date.”  

“You want to go now?”  

“We want to do this slowly, right?”, you grinned.  

“Do we?”  

“Yes, we do!”, you placed another sweet kiss on his lips: “So please be a gentleman and see me to the door.”