#Ngl this was not my intended result but God I like this better than my idea

[poolboyservice]

when Death tries to photobomb your cute ass photo... 😒

i didn't even intend both color themes to be opposite colors.. they were meant to be.... I did intend the roots being opposite colors though

anyhow!!

@kurtmustdie I finished 😈😈

[bigassmoonchild]

Lost and Found

Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley

Word Count: 2.6k

Summary: The results came back, the pregnancy results. You fear losing Simon, even after your talk and he holds you close. Things slowly go back to normal, but by god was Simon starting to smell a little too good. And the scent was coming from his door.

Content Tags: Angst, Almost Pregnancy Loss, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Simon Communicating, DROPPING THE L WORD (leprosy), Simon likes compound drama, Mentions of Masturbation, Use of Pet-Names, Teasing, No Use of Y/N, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha! Ghost

A/N: I'm working one day a week because they only need me one day a week. I might quit, ngl. Anyways, I'm getting better! Not as sick! I'm going to figure out at better way for people to navigate the maple syrup series, but you know the drill. Content under the cut and asks are open!

Part 1 | Previous, Next | Headcannons, Masterlist

The next few days felt incredibly slow. You'd worked on a bit of paperwork before heading back to your rooms and sitting in your nest, going through the clothes you were intending to give back to Simon because the scent was growing stale. As you were folding one of the last hoodies, a knock on your door made you pause.

Opening it, you saw a soldier standing outside. He gave you a salute before looking down and reading off of the paper he was holding.

"Your presence is required in room 62B. Please be presentable and there within the half hour," he handed you the paper and marched away. Glancing at it, they were requesting you for more questioning based on the hearing you'd been part of.

Shit.

You stood and dug through the wardrobe you had, pulling out a few of your better shirts and pants. At this point, you didn't really care what you wore. So long as it wasn't dirty and didn't have any rips or holes.

Reading the door numbers down to 62B, you took a deep breath before entering, nodding at the few people who were sitting, glancing past Price. You sat, folding your hands on your lap as the people across the table looked at you. They shifted, glancing from the door to you for a few minutes.

"We're just waiting for Riley, you needn't be so stiff, Doctor," you looked away from them, finding Prices eye before looking the other way. You just wanted to get this over with, they hadn't even notified you about your test, so the fact that they only told them about it was weird.

The door opened, and all you could smell was Simon. Leather and tobacco, hints of the gunpowder used on base came through. It smelled muskier, though, and as much as you could smell it wasn't sweat. Not like normal.

He sat beside you, not looking in your direction. The people in front of you shifted the papers about on the table, looking between each other. They didn't say anything for a few minutes.

"The pregnancy test came back," you heard Simon scoff beside you, a quiet 'no shit' coming from him. You rolled your own eyes, glancing down to the carpet under you. It was old, probably older than you.

The man cleared his throat. "It came back positive, at least at first," you looked up, brows furrowing. "After a few minutes, though, it turned negative. We did a few more tests and they eventually came back negative. Conclusively," you closed your eyes, head tilting back.

Why were you feeling so disappointed? Were you actually somewhat excited about having a pup, even if Simon didn't want it?

"Although, they did find some hormones synchronous with what is called a 'false pregnancy'," they explained, reading off of the sheet they had.

You glanced up, watching as they tried to find a way to explain it. "My body had hormones, probably from a fertilized egg that never attached properly, and it left my hormones thinking I was pregnant. They never cleared my body, so my scent and body was changing to prep for the pup," you explained, playing with your fingers.

So close, and yet you were so far from having a pup. You could almost smell distress on Simons scent, but you didn't want to go into the specifics. You couldn't think of his normal scent, not with how deep in your head you'd become.

You could faintly hear them explaining the outcomes, faintly heard a few 'probable cause for the attack' and a few other 'nothing is being pressed,' and finally you came to.

"We're considering this almost exactly the same as if the Omega was actually pregnant," they explained. "So you're getting off on just about the same as a slap on the wrist, but don't think we won't add this to your file," and you stood, turning and walking out.

There was nothing you'd realized you wanted more. A family. A pup to care for and watch grow and eventually maybe, just maybe, add more to your little family.

But no, you didn't have the luxury of that. No, you weren't allowed to have your family, your Alpha had been so mad at you and possibly didn't want you sometimes.

Alpha doesn't want a broken Omega.

You had to fight the tears you could feel building, jaw locking in place as you found yourself moving to your room. A few more halls, one or two more turns and you'd be able to curl up in your nest and hope to God that your Alpha would still want you.

As you went to close your room door, something stopped it from closing. You turned to figure it out, slightly pissed off that it happened. Simon.

"I'm sorry," you could feel tears starting to run out of your eyes, felt him pulling you into his chest and sobs tearing out of your chest. "I'm so sorry," you were muffled by his chest, hands grasping at his shirt and holding tight. You could faintly hear the door close, your legs moving with him as he dropped you back into your nest.

Simon pulled you into his chest, hands running along your back. Your hands never left his chest and you could hear him murmuring into your hair.

"S'alright, lovie, s'alright," he whispered, arms wrapping around your back to pull you in as close as he could. It felt like everything was back to normal but nothing was. Everything was changed but nothing was at the same time.

For what felt like hours, you laid there, grasping at Simon to stay where you were. He rubbed at your back and chuffed into your ear, your tears slowing and sobs breaking into hiccups, breathing slowing as you laid there.

His hands stopped, albeit slowly, before pulling you back to look at him.

"Y'alright?" He asked this time, wiping your face dry. You nodded, then shook your head before dropping it back onto his chest.

"'m sorry, Simon," you whispered, his hand finding your back and resting there. "Failed you," you added finally. He hummed in confusing, head lifting to look down at you.

You swallowed, closing your eyes. "Lost the pup," he shook his head, squeezing you a little. He ran his hand down your arm, rubbing it slowly.

"Didn't lose anything, lovie," he whispered. "Your body was just confused, it's not your fault," you wanted to argue with him, wanted to tell him he was crazy. You lost the pup, and he should get rid of you.

He kept murmuring loving words into your ears, telling you how good of an Omega you were, how much he cared about you. How much he adored that you were his and didn't want to leave.

"Love you, y'know that?" He whispered, hours having passed since the two of you found yourselves inside your nest. He slid you into his hoodie within the first hour, let you lay there and inhale his scent.

You hummed, fighting sleep. It hadn't hit you what he'd said, not yet at least.

"Love y'too," you whispered into his neck, breathing slowing as you were falling asleep. He loved you, Alpha loves you, your head snapped up. "Huh?" Simon barked out a short laugh, pulling his mask from his face as he looked at you.

"Y'didn't hear me?" You blinked slowly at him, smile slowly spreading on your face. His voice grew softer, eyes drifting away from you. He seemed almost, nervous. "Y'forgive me?" He whispered, hands tightening on you.

You nodded, dropping your head on him. "Thought you would've thought of me as a bad Omega," you whispered. "Thought I'd lost you after I said I might be pregnant, then again when they told us I wasn't," he shook his head.

He gave a humorless laugh. "Never lost me," he said. "'m not good at emotions," he started, looking down at you briefly. "Never was, never will be. I want to try, though, try and make sure you never feel like that again," he spoke into the side of your head, pressing his lips against your head.

You swallowed thickly.

"Thought I lost everything," you whispered into his neck, closing your eyes.

You glanced at your new squad, looking them over.

"If you don't want to be led by an Omega, leave. Get out, I don't want to see your face," you said, glancing amongst them. "If you don't like that I'm leading you, get the hell out. I don't want to see you, if you're going to cause problems, get out," you said.

No one moved, looking down at their boots and away from you. Nobody said anything, it all remained quiet. You smiled, arms crossed as you watched them stand still.

You crossed your arms, glancing amongst them. "The only problem I've ever encountered is you guys not understanding what it means to be a soldier. Combat medic, combat comes first," you told them. "Which means you're a soldier first,"

You sighed deeply, rubbing the migraine out of your temples. They were the worst group you'd ever had. They seemed to not have any knowledge on anything medical, and even less knowledge about combat awareness.

"Bad day?" Simon asked, placing a tray of food in front of you and putting his own on the side of your desk closest to him. You groaned at him, dropping your head down.

You glanced up, watching him pull the mask off of his face and place it next to his food, scooping some of it into his mouth. You snorted softly, watching him.

His brows raised in questioning. "We went from me absolutely despising you just a few days ago to you eating in my office," you laughed softly. "Anyways, I have the worst squad ever," you groaned and he paused his eating.

"They saying things?" He said, moving to stand and you hushed him, hands gesturing for him to sit back down.

In the few days since you two had been cleared back to work, he had made it a habit to bring you at least two meals during your shift. Usually lunch and dinner, which he had at the same time as you, quite thankfully.

You'd grown to begin telling him tales of what happened, whatever drama you could find that happened throughout the day. Oh my god, Simon, apparently Amanda now has an Alpha? And he works on another force, I think something air, you told him the first night.

Surprisingly, he was really interested in what was happening around base. Today, though, he appeared a little more out of it. He seemed slightly off, watching you closer and staring down Alphas who walked by you when he just so happened to be near.

It was weird, but you hadn't put too much thought into it. You were finally back to a normal, something the two of you were putting together. Maybe it was just his new normal, but you weren't going to ask questions.

He stayed quiet, giving you a few murmurs of agreement or interest at all of the new things you'd discovered. Once the two of you finished, instead of sitting with you until you were finished to walk with you back to your room he grabbed your trays and walked out, giving you a short murmur about needing to workout or something.

It left you a little confused, but you weren't going to mention it. You knew this took up a lot of his own time, and you knew that he would want to spend some time on his own to relax.

You felt the same way, but something was off and you could tell. By the time you finished putting away the last paper into its file, it was nearing 10 at night. You walked to your room, bag in hand as you watched the door numbers slowly shrink to your room number.

As you entered it, you'd been expecting to see Simon there, but maybe tonight he just wanted to relax in his own room and take some time to chill out. You understood, and found yourself slowly going through the motions of your nightly routine, some part of you hoping he would walk in right before you finished this part. Then it became this part, then the next.

Eventually, you were curled in your bed, lights all out while listening for movements outside. You found yourself waking up the next morning, groaning as you turned off your alarm clock. Simon never came to your room, but that was okay you told yourself.

It was fine, because everyone needed a moment to themselves here and there. So you began your routine, getting something small to eat as you walked through the clinic, checking on people who had come in overnight to be treated for something.

You ran your training, having the squad work on taking care of those who were harmed and trying to tourniquet them.

"I'm bleeding out, help me! Aaah! It hurts so much, I'm writhing in pain!" Soap was all too pleased to help you with this. Gaz was helping as well, but had stopped his acting to roll on the ground laughing at him. It seemed to work just as well as Johnny's screaming and writhing.

Shutting your eyes tight, you had to hold yourself silent to keep from laughing too hard or distracting everyone. Even as your back was turned, you could hear little squeals coming from Johnny, but as you opened your eyes you saw Ghost watching from a distance.

Gesturing him over, he shook his head and turned back to his own training group, leaning over to shout at someone. You sighed, turning around to watch the group once more.

"Steph, no, that tourniquet is way too tight, I can see it from here. You're cutting the blood flow off, not his leg,"

At lunch you grew a little worried when Simon didn't show up. He had been making sure to bring you food (and letting you watch him eat) every lunch and dinner. Sometimes it was breakfast instead of lunch, but he hadn't come during breakfast.

It took you a few moments before you decided to try and find him, but everyone you spoke to had turned away from you, telling you that it was in your better interest to leave him alone. When you found Gaz again, you pulled him to the side.

"What's up with S- Ghost?" You asked and he looked away, grimacing a little. "Go on, tell me. I'm his mate, it's not like he's doing something that would kill me," you said, brows furrowing as he didn't say anything.

You gestured for him to tell you. "He's been really violent today. Look outside, there's more people running than usual, and his temper is getting the better of him," he whispered, looking around like Simon would jump out of nowhere.

At dinner, when Simon didn't show up you found yourself walking the compound to look for him. To find out where he'd gone, or what was wrong. He wasn't anywhere you'd expected him to be, not the gym or field.

Walking to his room, it was a few halls before when the scent hit you hard. Leather and tobacco, some hints of the gunpowder used on base. You walked a little closer, musky tangs of something just entirely Simon breaking through.

Standing outside of his door, you stared at it. Hearing long groans and whines, huffs of your name. Trying the door, it was locked and everything in the room paused.

A bang on the door made you jump back before leaning in. "Simon?" You whispered, trying the doorknob again. He whined at the sound of his name coming from you, and you could hear nails on the door.

"Please," he whispered back, voice muffled by the door. You could hear another bang on the door and you gave a little laugh.

"Y'gotta unlock the door first, Alpha," a growl came from behind the door.

Next

Tag List:

@sae1kie @shinebright2000 @zechie-spams @itsmadamehydra @smiley-roos @enrapturedbythemoon

If I forgot you, please send me a message, reply or ask. I apologize for any mistakes in the Tag List, I'm trying to get it all organized.

[sorrowtainted]

man sometimes i just think about... god/eldritch-like being chuuya... (my headcanons and stormbringer spoilers under the cut!)

I was kind of sad about stormbringer at first, ngl, because i absolutely adored the concept of chuuya being a literal god and struggling with his humanity as a result of that, and stormbringer seemed to kind of debunk that entirely. but then i realized i could easily come up with headcanons to make my ideas work anyway asfjsdhkjs

i do think what's (probably) intended in canon is great too, but I love the concept of a singularity being like... while it's not strictly a god in the conventional sense, and scientists think of it as more of a non-living phenomena than anything else... nobody actually really knows what one really is. while it's noted several times that the singularities don't have "personalities" so to speak, they do seem to embody the feeling of hatred, which suggests some level of sentience, at least to me - and who's to say that they aren't alive on a level that humans simply can't comprehend??

that goes along with my other headcanon, where first things first. chuuya is the clone - i know he was strongly implied to be the original and not the clone in stormbringer's epilogue, but it's not explicitly stated, so either interpretation works in my mind. either way though, i like thinking of the "artificial personality" of chuuya as having become one with the singularity arahabaki, which in spite of the scientist's beliefs, is actually more akin to a living, ancient being than an ability - one that simply accesses the world through the phenomenon of contradictory abilities clashing.

basically, i may not be explaining this right, but chuuya is actually arahabaki, the ancient and incomprehensible creature, rather than just a vessel for him. however, the artificial code used to create a human personality for arahabaki and his human body kind of interacted upon his "birth" with his already existing consciousness as a "god" and they kind of fused, in a way?? i'll probably make another post explaining what i mean better later, since i'm not sure i'm making sense, but.

i'm partially biased because i have a huge thing for the whole "arabahaki is chuuya" concept and have done from the start, but it's also because like... i like the theme of chuuya actually NOT being human in the most literal sense, but slowly coming to terms with the fact that he still is human in every other way that counts. that just feels more meaningful to me personally than him being a perfectly ordinary person after all. i liked that there was plenty of language in stormbringer bringing home how otherworldy the singularities were too, tbh.

tldr is that in my mind, in spite of what we were told in stormbringer, chuuya is the singularity arahabaki rather than just being a vessel for him, and accordingly, singularities are actually not what they appear to be and are living on some level, similar to the concept of "gods." i'm just trying to work that headcanon in with stormbringer so that everything's still technically compliant with it, lol. please tell me if this post makes no sense because i suspect that's the case and i'll explain better hopefully ahsdhfksdjdskj

[thisdreamplace]

Hello how do i speed up results? I can have anything immediately theoreticly so how so i actually do that? i mean i heard about that girl who told her subconscious to grow taller and she grew like 4-6 inches or sth incredible like that OVERNIGHT! Thats crazy and shows how anything is possible but idk for me. How much faith and belief in myself would that need? im scared i'll not reach that stage of manifestig. I do get results ngl but im so tired of not having enough faith or whatever. I hope u get what I mean? In my mind i do know all this, align with god self have pure knowledge its gonna happen but... Not to be a downer, I just want to get real with u. Its not always so easy and effortless like we want. We dont always get what we want as or when we want. It sucks 😭 I know internally everything's perfect, I can and do have m desires i mean my inner-self does etc. But its not always so simple? For me at least I struggle and I want quick overnight results too. maybe im jealous of anyone who can effortlessly do it even if they get bad days. like everyone has them ik but thats not what I'm saying here. Im saying how do i make it to that level? Soon i won't have much time to devote to manifest the life I want, I can manifest small stuff easily and quickly but thats not enough is it? Do I make sense?

Hi!

To be entirely honest with you, when it comes to speedy results I'm not your gal. lmao I have gotten overnight successes, I have even gotten successes in hours and minutes. The issue is though, the times which have been intentional, is entirely hit or miss. Sometimes my manifestation comes to pass when I wanted it to, sometimes it doesn't. And overall, when it comes to the timing of my manifestations, I tend to take a rather hands off approach. Messing with time bothers me more than empowers me. So I usually don't deal with it.

How much faith and belief would you need? I like to think about this quote from the bible a lot, that says how all you need is faith the size of a mustard seed to move mountains. If you can move mountains with faith that small, surely you can manifest overnight will a small amount of faith too. I think the biggest key of all is realizing that you're the God of your reality. From that point forward, things start manifesting much quicker. I mean, I know this to be true. I've been getting day of successes lately, simply from knowing how imagining creates reality and I have that power within me. Focusing on how you're God of your reality is really important in all of this.

You're sooooo right it's not always effortless and easy like we want. You did not lie. lmfao I talk about this on my blog all the time, I try to be transparent about it. But I mean the amount of days and nights I've just crieeeeeeeeeed over everything. The amount of nights it felt like my world was ending because I felt I just couldn't apply the law right/just couldn't get what I want. There sure as hell are going to be difficult days. But it's up to us to choose love for ourselves, to choose faith, and to keep persisting. Eventually, it will be effortless and easy for all of us.

You make it to that level by prioritizing how you're the God of your reality. Build confidence in that, faith in knowing consciousness is the only reality. This isn't playing pretend, this is real. Your imagination is the creator, your 3D must follow along to your imaginal acts. Point, blank, period, it's the law. But you need to practice getting yourself out of that victim mindset. You too can be an overnight success, intend for it. Don't take no for answer. Expect wonderful things to happen to you, know how your life can change for the better at any second.

And it's not a bad thing you "won't have time to dedicate to manifesting." This isn't a technique. You don't need to make time to manifest. This is a constant thing, this is a lifestyle change. Approach it more in that way and you'll get more sustainable results.

Hopefully this is helpful! You got this! 💖

[luque-moreau]

y'know i think its about time ive refurbished my psychonauts headcanons/theories

what??? me??? rewriting my psychonauts headcanons in a more comprehensible and informed way???

ye

alright, i think everyone knows what im talking about, by headcanons i mean headcanon as in singular, and as singular, i mean my "raz is somewhere on the spectrum of adhd".

so lets just get into it:

what is adhd actually?

adhd by definition stands for attention deficit hyperactive/hyperfocus disorder (yes, let me get into the details in just a sec). it is a nerodevelopmental disorder that is almost completely reliant on genetic factors, however conditions during pregnancy can sometimes contribute to certain aspects of how adhd manifests itself.

long story short, people with adhd have a smaller frontal lobe, and therefore less dopamine in general (even though yes, it is more complicated than that).

theres also a little bit of "chicken or the egg first" goin on here, certain behaviors or personality tendencies can also affect how adhd is presented in one individual to the next, however its still not clear if that is because it is an accommodating for a certain thought process or if someones experiences and personality shape their symptoms of adhd entirely. its a very blurry line, and the answer is different for everybody.

hyperactive type

hyperactive type is probably the closest to most stereotypical depictions of adhd, think the 5 year old whos parents brush off their child’s hyperactivity as something that will “go with age”. however, this isn’t only present in children, adults with adhd have to deal with a constant need for stimuli to make up for the lack of dopamine their current activity is providing them. this results in someone fidgeting frequently in repetitive or predictable motions, unable to hold attention to a specific task for long periods of time, or many other of the symptoms associated with adhd.(i sadly cannot provide more information in this area, i am not knowledgeable enough to...)

hyperfocus type

hyperfocus type is a tricky one, it can look like the complete opposite of adhd in theory. hyperfocus can look similar to special interests or hyperfixation, a great deal of time and knowledge dedicated to a very particular thing (although it is important to note that even though hyperfixations and special interests are incredibly similar, special interests is a term more typically used within autistic-circles, and isnt really the best word to use if you happen to be neurotypical). Think of maybe that kid who knows all the cool animal facts and won’t shut up about them. Its because certain trains of thought or activities might release more dopamine then others, so to get more of that dopamine, someone of hyperfocus type will be mentally unable to stop thinking or doing a very specific task or topic. this results in someone seemingly always spacing out, unable to change subjects or changing subjects too fast or with little to no correlation, or being completely unable to have enough motivation to do simple things.

personally i tend to fall under the category of hyperfocus myself rather than hyperactive, however the two are not mutually exclusive, its more common to find people with both types rather than just one. even myself, i might exhibit more tendencies to place me under the label of hyperfocus, but that doesn’t mean i don’t have any symptoms of the hyperactive type. its my personality that affects my mannerisms, which then makes certain aspects of my symptoms more or less apparent. Thats because im an INTP-T, i just tend to be more to myself and constantly in a state of thinking abstractly. I have trouble communicating and even sometimes recognizing my needs, and get to a point where im unable to do the simplest of things without feeling emotionally drained. Thats just my experience though, everybodys different. 

so what the fuck does this have to do with raz then?

well lets think about it, rather than have it just be me projecting myself onto a comfort character:

raz finds issue with connecting to kids his age

lets be honest. none of the campers really like raz that much. or at least some do the bare minimum to be try and be polite. it doesn’t seem like any of the other campers besides dogen, whos also socially outcasted, are really fond of raz. lili might like him, but that can definitely be interpreted as curiosity in someone new and different from the norm. It might not be that the kids despise him, but nobodys opinionated enough to care whether he is around or not.

social isolation is one of the most damning things i had to experience from an early age and still feel even today. there is a sense of feeling that you are different among your peers, whether that is a good thing or bad thing. it feels difficult to interact with other people you are not familiar with, and can really stunt you emotionally and socially. from a really early age, theres somethin in you that knows something is very different between the experiences of your peers compared to your own, and it can feel incredibly isolating.

raz and his borderline stupidity

time to get real again. raz is a fucking idiot. at least in the sense that sometimes his decisions seem incredibly spontaneous and not really thought through. he runs from home to attend a summer camp, not really thinking about the logistics of how he will get there, how the staff will react, how long its gonna take for his parent to find him, and so on. it doesn’t seem like he over or underestimates his abilities, he just goes for it without considering. that doesnt seem like the smartest thing to do, even though we know hes incredibly intelligent when it comes to larger, abstract situations. its the little details that he misses, small minuet things that seem unimportant that he overlooks, which can sometimes make things harder for him in the end.

i think its obvious that impulsivity is one symptom of adhd. however i cannot stress how difficult it is to think at supersonic speed and still feel incredibly stupid. i mean, thinking faster doesn’t inherently mean you will have better ideas, you can always be stupider faster, but being able to realize stupid mistakes or inconsistencies in your own thought process is annoying as hell. it feels like every time you try to recognize the issue, fix it, and move forward, you only end up not paying attention to another issue that gets bigger and more annoying than the first. Its always two steps forward, one step back, constantly making the same mistakes even though you try everything in your power to avoid them or grow as a person. The simplest of facts, ideas, or just things to remember end up being forgotten, and once youre reminded of them you remember them and feel like an idiot. however, arbitrary things and complex issues are much easier to digest and remember for me, things like history and the whole blame game charade of it all, biology and how every minuet thing has a greater impact on others and intertwines with every single factor of its environment, philosophy and theorizing why we think the way we do and what can be changed. but oh shit, im a dumbass i forgot to do my laundry. shit. god fuckin dammit.

empathy over sympathy

one of the basic themes of psychonauts is empathy. simple as that. raz goes around into other peoples brains, and tries to help them as much as he can, even if his efforts are not always successful in the way he intended. he never demonizes anyone to the point of unredeemability, and can empathize and understand other peoples perspectives. hes open to new ideas and

although some studies out there theorize that empathy is impaired due to adhd, from my perspective i feel like that is simply not true. if anything, i would say the sensitivity that comes with adhd (hypersensitivity) only enhances that empathy. i could definitely see social disconnection being one of the reasons it might appear that someone with adhd is less empathetic, however i would doubt that adhd would impair a persons empathy. adhd tends to also entail heightened emotions, this doesn’t necessarily mean a more outwardly emotional person, however it definitely shifts a persons perspective of their own emotions as well as others. the concept of hypersensitivity also completely contradicts the idea of people with adhd be less empathetic.

miscommunication and disconnect

sigh, the dad thing. yup. raz has that very iffy relationship with his dad at the beginning of the game which is eventually resolved. very abruptly, might i add. but thats not what this is about, thats a topic for another day. miscommunication seemed to be the root of the issue, however we only get razs side of the story. not to mention the severity of his claims and willingness to seemingly drop everything afterwards. kinda sus, ngl.

alright this ones a doosey. this, i feel, cements my theory pretty well. like i mentioned before, social disconnect and hypersensitivity are side effects of the symptoms of adhd.  this means people with adhd are highly more likely to either misinterpret someones words or actions if those in question are not completely transparent, its because they tend to overthink and interpenetrate responses with too much thinkin n such. the social disconnect makes a whole lot of it worse, it can just pile on top of already established feelings of inadequacy and isolation. and oversharing as a poor coping mechanism isnt an exclusively adhd related thing, it tends to be shared within similar neruodevelopmental disorders such as autism or even ptsd. i find it incredibly easy to disconnect myself from my own emotions at times and think critically at what i feel and how it affects me. which is a bad thing. if i dont acknowledge my emotions like they are my own for too long, everything falls apart. its not fun. but, that disconnect can make talking about certain more traumatic experiences or instances that had deep personal effects on my life and development as a person much easier to just share. and not always in an appropriate manner, comedic opportunity can be   v  e  r  y   enticing. this also explains why raz might have been able to drop everything about his dad after he apologized. he didn’t really, he probably still suffers just as much afterwards as he did before. but he probably wont realize that for awhile, since logically, the issue has been resolved. long story short, he has not had the time to cope, and to put that off he detaches himself from those feelings. w a c k

of course i have other reasons why i feel like raz could potentially have adhd, or at least be accurately represented in headcanon with adhd, some minor mentions being:

he uses his camp map as a journal to track his in-game progress, list of goals, and notes/snip-its of information. writing down information on some form of notepad or book is a common tool used by kids and even adults with adhd to help them keep track of minuet, individual tasks. its just using a planner, but with a bit more information. 

just from my personal perspective, the lengths raz goes to pursue his dream of being a psychonaut feel more like a special interest/hyper fixation sort of thing. he can jump between having genuine conversations with his fellow campers and just exploring the campground, to investing himself entirely in obtaining his goal, even when it seems almost impossible. thats some serious dedication to one very specific thing, y’know?

this one isnt as solid as the other but: m̶̖̰̯̫̍͝o̵̦͖̟͈̹̤̥̝͐̿̄̀̀̎̓ņ̶̛̭̠̐̊̆̍͝ķ̸̝͈̺̙̰̊e̶͉͚̼̅̔͗̂͐̍̕͝͝y̶̦̖̼͖̪͎̝̖̠̐̑͋̾̔̑́͐͘ ̵̢̲̘͎͉̔̀͒̄͌͊̀͌̀m̴̲̫̮̪̖̍̐͆̕͝ͅ��ả̶͙͚͗n̶̗̳̩̙̘̼̦̦͇͝ ̷̡̨̡͔̗͕̘͍̥̑͒̎̐̃g̴͔̔̈̅̐̏́̌̔̈́́o̶̥̱̽̆̂͌̀͗ ̶̝̩͙͕͛́s̴̛͓̥̲̜͓͚̣̠̆̓̌͌p̶̜̹̯̦̫̯̣̎͐̽̉̾ḙ̴͇̬͑̈́̐̈́͘͠ͅȅ̶̡̗̞̩͔̫̪͈͑̓͗d̵̠͇͎̜͔͇͒̈́́̀̅̈́̒͘y̸̡̦̠̻̖̥̿ͅ. yeah, its the most generalizing reason but look, hes moving nonstop the entire game, climbing and running around the entire goddamn place wrecking havoc. a bit of imp can be found in most people with adhd if you look hard enough.

so thanks for reading this far i guess? im oversharing even right now with this, like an i d i o t but yknow what i dont want to read the great gatsby rn, so ive got nothin better to do. who knows, maybe the second game will give us more info to either support/discredit this theory? gotta wait for pn2 i guess

:^)

[stayndays]

𝐊𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐑 𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆'𝐒 𝐀𝐋𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐄𝐒 & 𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐃

time to dive into this hellhole of a series once again

if you haven’t read killer king, there are MAJOR spoilers in this post! you have been warned.

So! This was highly requested in the final survey of Killer King: to reveal the other routes if you didn’t choose the Escape Route. To start off, though, I first have to talk about something that was brought up multiple times throughout the voting boxes of Killer King, which is:

“Why is Jisung helping Minho/Is Jisung aware that Minho’s the killer/What is Jisung and Minho’s dynamic?”

Minho and Jisung, to say the least, is probably the most interesting duo in the series. They didn’t met before the party, but rather, at the party before the mansion owner was killed, and quickly formed a strong bond. You could infer that Minho wanted to pull in a party guest that would most likely stay and solve the murder, just so he has a puppet to control if things go haywire. Minho was also inspired by Jisung’s poem, which results in how his killing techniques were put into place. 

Because Jisung is kind of naive in this story, he ends up being manipulated by the killer himself, and accidentally becomes Minho’s #1 ally for the entire series. Minho grabbed the key from the mansion owner’s coat, and gave it to Jisung for him to protect, saying something along the lines of “If anybody tries to flee the mansion like a coward, they won’t be able to because you have the key.” 

Oh, also, Minho attempted to frame Jisung by leaving the white glove in Jisung’s bag. I’m like.. slowly recovering info from this series because I already forgot most of the plot.. October was a fever dream guys wheeze

But now, this duo leads us to our first route I’ll cover today! The duos all have a certain goal: Hyunin wanted to escape, another group wanted to kill the killer themselves, and another group simply wanted to solve the murder. This duo is different, however, because Minho is literally the killer. 

So the route would’ve played out somewhat like this:

You choose to align with Minho and Jisung, regardless of whether you lie or not

When the house fight occurs and everybody is split off into groups, you have the option to stay with Chan, Changbin, and Minho. If you choose this, you would get an additional chapter where you have the decision to come with Minho upstairs, or to stay behind with Chan and Changbin.

If you choose to come with Minho, you would be forced by him to throw a knife at Jeongin, who’s alone on the stairs. (this would’ve been REALLY fun to write)

Even if you chose not to follow Minho, as long as you prove that you’re truly loyal to him, he’ll eventually reveal to both you and Jisung that he’s the killer, and urge the both of you to work with him to eliminate the rest of the house members.

THIS IS THE FUN PART

Basically: Jisung doesn’t want to team up with Minho. Instead, he wants to try and kill Minho (I assume that Jisung has multiple reasons as to why he doesn’t want to tell the other members, probably because he has no evidence). As a result, since Jisung also trusts you, he tells you his plan, and now you have to choose between the two.

And according to my notes, no matter if you team up with Jisung or go solo, if you choose to betray Minho, you will die. It is impossible to succeed in this scenario. You have to team up with a murderer in order to win.

You could also try and convince Jisung to come with you and Minho’s side. Knowing me, I’d probably spin a wheel to see whether Jisung would agree with you or not LOL. If he doesn’t though, he’s gonna die. That’s that. 

So if you team up with Minho (regardless if Jisung is still alive or not) and the two/three of you are able to successfully eliminate the rest of the members, you win! And you get the ending “The Killer’s Sidekick” (even better: if you identity as a female and/or use she/her pronouns, you could be “The Killer Queen” :D)

The other two routes don’t have nearly as much info as Minsung’s route, though. One of them wasn’t even planned at all. Let’s talk about them!

Changlix’s Route: Kill the Killer

Basically, if you openly state to either Felix or Changbin that you’re also interested in killing the killer, you’d be put into this route!

In this route, you’ll tend to make more impulsive decisions without thinking straight (aka your choices will be pretty dumb) because you’re after blood, not justice.

If you kill the wrong person, that’s an automatic game over.

If you hesitate to kill Minho, he’ll kill you first, and that’s a game over.

And if you successfully kill Minho, you’ll get one of those “You won.. but at what cost?” endings, kinda like the ending you guys got! (it’s because you killed somebody, that’s why.)

Chanmin’s Route: Catch the Killer

I have nothing written down for this route. It’s pretty self explanatory. Find the killer, and trap him in a room until the police come. That’s pretty much the route, along with trying not to get killed yourself.

If you chose this route, it would probably be even more stressful than the escape route, and would probably be the most boring route to write.

If you have any questions, let me know! But now let’s dive into the questions you guys put in for the survey.

1. Was Hyunjin super suspicious in the beginning as a red herring?

I think they were all super suspicious in the beginning just so the reader jumps into the story completely blind. It wasn’t intended as a red herring, but it definitely could be to you!

2. Why does Felix and Changbin want to kill the murderer? 

Simple: bloodlust. I just needed that violent duo, y’know? 

3. Were Jisung and Minho conspiring together? If not, was Minho going to pin it on Jisung?

No and yes, that was his intention!

4. Why does Minho have a hankering for murder?

He wants revenge on his step father, the mansion owner, for neglecting him all those years. Also the dude has anger issues. Bad temper.

5. Why could Minho pass the mattress but not 5 guys?

He is immortal. He is god. He is- just kidding. He was probably doing something stupid and unplanned, like using the bathroom on the downstairs floor. That’s the best answer I can give you for now.

6. Why did Jisung decided to team up with Minho? I mean what benefit will he get from it if there is a chance Minho might even kill him too? and also did Jisung know that Minho is the killer king in the first place?

He didn’t realize he was teaming up with the killer, and if Minho did reveal that he was the killer, Jisung would most likely try to turn on him (and fail). Nope!

7. What was Minho's motive (was it just him hating the victim or was there something deeper)?

Both that, and probably bloodlust as well.

8. How did Minho get the white glove to blame Jisung later when he wasn't with us while we were searching the room?

He bought a fresh pair of white gloves before the party started. He also, most likely, placed it in Jisung’s bag before committing the murder without him noticing.

9. If we were to just body search everybody at once, would we find the throwing knives on Minho and just end the whole thing? (this was on my mind the whole time lmao, like why didn't we search OURSELVES too??)

yeah true ngl i can’t argue with that Knowing Minho, he probably has a bunch of knives hidden all around the house, secretly planting them here and there while mingling with party guests.

10. Were really 2 killer kings? 

Nope! Only Minho. There would only be more than one killer king if you ended up choosing the Minsung route. However, good idea! I should’ve thought of that.

11. Why in the hell was jisung helping minho like how did they end up as a team?

e x p l a i n e d  a l r e a d y. see i told you guys a lot of people were asking this

12. I still don't understand changbins fascination with the blood type.

This was an easter egg I was proud of but nobody caught!! The same blood type mentioned by Changbin (I think it was A?) is the same type Seungmin has! After a google search or two, I learned that blood types were passed down by family members, so if you arrange Seungmin’s family tree correctly, you’d learn that him and the mansion owner shared the same blood type, meaning that Seungmin is related to the mansion owner. Far stretch, I know, but I think it works out! If you figured this out, you would realize how smart Changbin really is as a scientist.

13. Why did jeongin light two matches?

Extra precaution! Also, he’s the youngest. He thinks fire is cool.

14. Was Minsung a team for the ~ Minsung Vibes? ~

It was not intentional at first, but then I realized the rest of the duos were popular ships in SKZ (minus Chanmin) so that was interesting!

15. Just in general why were the teams aligned the way they were?

Minsung - They’re good pals Changlix - For the bloodlust similarity Hyunin - They were both emotional enough in this story to want to escape Chanmin - It’s literally Chan and Seungmin, and Seungmin is close with the mansion owner

16. Which one was your favorite route?

MINSUNG’S ROUTE!! I wanted you guys to choose this one because it would so different from other murder mysteries!! But the escape route was my second choice, thank god.

17. Will you be doing another series similar to this next year?

90% no because of how physically and mentally draining this series was to write, but you can get a sequel if the finale somehow gets 50 notes! That won’t happen for a while. Just FYI. 

18. Did the knife in y/n’s hand ever come out or was it just stuck in there the entire time?

It was there the entire time until Hyunjin pulled it out at his house. I actually still don’t know if this is medically accurate or not, I literally had to ask my mom what to do in this situation. Our text messages went something like:

Me: If a knife goes through your hand, should you pull it out or leave it in? Asking because of a TV show  Mom: Leave it in and go to the hospital... Me: Ok thanks mom

I think that’s it? I still have a lot I want to talk about, but that information will only come out if people ask me! So come ask me hehe have fun. Thank you, so incredibly much, for following Killer King. It is my pride and joy, literally.

taglist: @desertofdessert @crscendoforsung @cotccotc @leggomylino @skzctnightnight @freckledberries @nizhonimoon @hanniiesuckle17 @binniesbabybear @tsuki-moons @lbxgsunshine @csbverse @mangoisawesome @peachyhan @worldtriiiip @golden–rain @bubblyjisunq @kimpchi @loey-letters @pokyloky @wherevermyway @avrea-tt @bossuns @sunoo-luvs @katherineee19 @ph0ebevix @qt-k1mb @444scb @grandmasterslickfox @k-pop-valda (now we can all abandon this series for good!)

[minghaocouture]

Wednesday, again?

Pairing: Yoo Kihyun X Reader Genre: Comedy, Light Fluff, Soulmate AU Waring: Suggestive themes, drinking, mentions of one night stands WC: 2k+ Tag List: @princessthotty​ @tleeee​ @samemagicpoint​

Prompt: If you haven’t met your soulmate but have been in the same vicinity of each other (like passing each other on a street or in the same building), that day will keep repeating until you find each other.

A/N: ngl i had a lot of fun writing this, i usually don’t write suggestive stuff so i’m sorry if that part seems a bit brushed over lol. I hope y’all enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it.

Growing up, you were a big fan of soulmates. After all, your parents were soulmates and so were their parents, it was a magical thing to think about. That there was one person out there who was just...meant for you! 

But as you grew, you never found your connection. Some people had timers, others had strings, some had words, but you had nothing. Nothing to point you in the direction of your intended. It was disheartening.

You did your best to stay optimistic, after all some people didn’t get their soulmark until they were 18 or even 20, but you could always feel that lingering fear in the back of your mind. 

Now here you were, in your mid twenties and in college, yet not sign of a soulmate or any kind of soulmark. At least until now.

“I swear to God if I have to sit through this lecture one more time I will legit fight someone.” You muttered, clinging onto your best friend, Handong, as she dragged you inside the classroom, laughing as she did. Obviously she wasn’t nearly as irritated as you. 

After all this was going to be her first time dealing with this lecture, meanwhile you were on your...twelfth replay? 

Sure twelve didn’t seem like much when it was just a lecture but this was the twelfth time you had experienced this day, down to the smallest detail...everything was the same. Almost two weeks of nothing really changing was starting to drive you crazy. At first, you would explain what was happening to Handong, telling her everyday that you were repeating everything. The two of you had eventually figured out that it was your soulmark, and so you set out to find whoever your soulmate might be in hopes of ending the loop. After a week with no results, you stopped telling her about your situation.

So now here you were, sitting in your lecture hall...getting ready to listen to your professor drone on and on about history. You had to admit that Professor Byun was hot and funny, but not one was hot or funny enough to make you okay with this. 

Taking your usual seat, you dropped your head onto your desk fully prepared to sleep your way through this lecture. That was the best thing about being stuck in the same day, the trouble you got into only lasted for that day. Everything would reset again tomorrow. 

“Are you going to Jooheon’s party tomorrow? I heard that DJ H.One is gonna make an appearance!” 

Of course, you unfortunately already knew this. You’d tried going to the party a few times during your repeats, but nothing ever came of it. Okay that’s a lie, you got to make out with the hot DJ, so there was that, but nothing soulmate wise happened.

“ ‘m not going.” Your voice muffled as you refused to remove your head from the table to look at her. You could practically feel her pouting as she stared at your slumped over frame. 

“Well, now you’re not getting a choice. I’ll drag you there if I have to!” She declared. You heard rustling as she pulled out her supplies, getting ready to take notes for the day. “I really don’t get what’s up with you today. You were fine yesterday, did you just sleep wrong or something?”

“Today, yesterday, tomorrow. All the same thing.” 

Before she could question you, the door slammed shut, signalling the entrance of Professor Byun and the start of your lecture for the day. 

***

“I can not believe you actually dragged me here.” You groaned, downing a shot of alcohol and fixing your best friend with a pointed glare. Once again, nothing had changed here. The guests were the exact same ones you had seen every other time you had come to this obscenely crowded party. 

An arm wrapped around your shoulder, pulling you closer. If it had been any other day you probably would have freaked out, but this hadn’t changed either, so you didn’t even flinch at the unknown arm around you. 

“Please get your arm off me, Minhyuk.” You muttered, eyes not bothering to turn to face the male to your side, not even as you heard Handong greet him as well. 

Minhyuk was a good guy, sometimes a little loud but overall a good guy. You had a few classes with him back in high school and just so happened to enroll in the same college, so he was probably the closest you had to a childhood friend. 

And he was obviously already very drunk.

He leaned further towards you, causing you to stumble a bit because of his weight, before he began going into the same whining spiel he went into every time you were dragged to this party. Handong’s attention was always enough to satisfy him, so you just tuned him out and continued to watch the rest of the room. Debating on if you were gonna try and make out with the DJ again, he was a good kisser at least. 

Glancing across the room towards the small set up that this dude, you think his name was actually Hyungwon, was chatting it up with a dude you didn’t quite recognize. Which was...strange, at this point you didn’t think that was possible since everything would play out the same everyday and...nothing had changed today. Except for this guy that was now talking to the cute DJ. 

Shaking Minhyuk’s arm off of your shoulders and ignoring his whines of protest as you left, making a beeline for the other side of the room. The new guy didn’t really look like he was here for a party, what with his rather soft looking sweater and fluffy brown hair. 

Once you got close enough, Hyungwon fixed you with a rather bored look. 

“I don’t take-”

“Requests, yeah I know.” Cutting him off, you focused your attention on the new guy. Upon closer inspection he was pretty short, especially compared to Hyungwon who was basically a walking string bean. You couldn’t lie, he was definitely handsome though. 

“Who are you?” It was probably a rude way of asking but, this dude wouldn’t remember this tomorrow...well today, once tomorrow was today again. Once that happened, how you spoke today wouldn’t matter. 

The male stared at you, looking almost baffled as he did so and you noticed light bags under his eyes, a sign that this guy probably wasn’t sleeping properly. Sucks that he was stuck like this, at least he was unaware that he was trapped in this annoyingly never ending time loop because of you and your stupid soulmate. After a second or so the male turned his head to check and see if there was anyone behind him that you could have possibly been talking to, the look of utter confusion still on his face. 

“Are you talking to me?” He questioned once his gaze returned to you. You noticed that he was now adjusting so that he stood a bit taller, probably attempting to seem more intimidating as he stared you down. 

“Yeah, i already met that one,” pointing your thumb towards Hyungwon, who wasn’t really paying attention to either of you anymore. “You’re new though.” 

“Say you, this is my house. So I’m pretty sure you would be considered the new one here.” He retorted, crossing his arms over his chest. You weren’t too sure, but it almost felt like he was sizing you up. You had to stop yourself from snorting in laughter at the almost incredulous look on his face. 

“Well I’ve never seen you before, sooo you’re new.” 

“He’s a homebody who hides in his room during parties.” The two of you glanced over at Hyungwon, who had decided to speak up once again. The shorter male let out a gasp of indignation, and almost looked like he was about to stomp his foot. “Now can you two take your flirting away from my set up? You’re killing my vibe.” 

Now that hand you bursting at the seams, holding your stomach as the other male yelled at Hyungwon, something about respecting his elders and such. Hyungwon seemed pretty unbothered by it and just grinned a bit, making a shooing motion with his hands before he returned his attention to his set up. 

“You heard the man, let’s go hamster boy.” You reached over and grabbed his forearm and began dragging the male towards the kitchen, where you might be able to talk to him in private. 

“H-Hamster?!”

“Yeah your cheeks puffed up like one when you got angry. It was cute.”

Since you weren’t facing him, you couldn’t see his reaction to your statement but you definitely heard the loud exclamation of denial from him. This prompted another round of laughter from you. 

Entering the kitchen, you released his arm and grabbed one of the still sealed bottles of liquor (better safe than roofied) and poured a glass for the two of you, introducing yourself as you handed him the cup.

“Kihyun.” he returned the introduction as he took the glass, giving it almost a dirty look before he took a long swig of it. 

That’s how it all started. Turns out the two of you...well were complete opposites, but despite this you actually hit it off pretty well. He was just easy to talk to, even when he was nagging you to get off the counter when you had decided to take a seat there. 

As the drinks ran, the night blurred, but you didn’t care. You would wake up tomorrow, sober and lacking a hangover, in your own bed. Just like you had been doing for the past two weeks. This thought was probably why you found yourself making out with the man, his lips plush and malleable against your own and the noises he made were sinfully delicious.

***

A loud scream.

That was what woke you up today, not your usual class alarm...but a human scream. You winced, head throbbing as you tried to figure out what exactly was going on. Things hadn’t changed since these loops started, so why would they switch up now?...Unless.

Your eyes snapped open and you forced yourself to sit up, which was a bad idea as you felt a wave of nausea hit you. Glancing around, you noticed that this was...definitely not your room. Needless to say, you were confused.

As you looked around you found the source of the loud scream was none other than Kihyun, basically naked. If you were more awake you would probably be freaking out just as he currently was, but you were exhausted and your head was pounding.

“What are you doing here?!” He exclaimed, eyes wide as saucers as he stared at you. The noise level causes you to wince, clutching your head at the hangover. 

“Well...that’s what I’m trying to figure out.” You retorted, looking around a bit and trying to find your phone as you ignored the babbling from Kihyun. Thankfully it was on the dresser next to you, checking the time you saw it was around noon and you were definitely late for your class, but what really hit you was the date. 

“It’s...thursday? Wait, but it’s supposed to still be Wednesday,” You muttered, more to yourself than to Kihyun.

“Excuse me??” Glancing back over at Kihyun, you were surprised by the sudden change of attitude but you were definitely grateful for the softer tone of voice. “It can’t be thursday, it’s been wednesday for almost two weeks now!”

Now it was your turn to be baffled, well more than you already were. 

“You know that it was wednesday for two weeks?!” 

“Yes! It was hell having to deal with that stupid party for this long!” Your heart practically stopped at those words, things connecting as best as they could in your current state. 

“Did...Did I have a drunken one night stand with my fucking soulmate?” 

If there was a list, for the worst ways to find out your soulmate. Then this moment would definitely be at the top of that list. 

***

“That is actually disgusting. I can’t believe you two are my parents.” You laughed as your daughter fake gagged at your words. 

“Hey don’t complain, I didn’t tell you all the details like I did with your Auntie Handong. I spared you because you’re my kid. Remember that,” You joked, wrapping your arm around the young girl’s shoulder, pulling her in for a hug. Kihyun laughing from his spot on the couch as he watched the two of you, calling across the room.

“Now hurry and go get dressed. Your timer is almost out, and you wanna make a better first impression than they did.” 

“You are never going to let me live that down are you?”

“Nope, never.”

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 245: The Second One

Previously on BnHA: We kicked off day one of New Internships with a fun-filled morning of shenanigans. Highlights included: (1) an old bearded man gallivanting around town telling everyone the world is going to end (and making a surprising amount of sense); (2) Bakugou and Deku attempting to rough up a group of impassioned hobos, only to have their thunder stolen from right underneath their noses; and (3) Hawks, the thunder-stealer himself, who proceeded to be all “what’s up fellas, hey Endeavor did you miss me?” Endeavor, who totally did miss him, pretended like he had not, and meanwhile Hawks introduced himself to Endeavor’s new trainees: Finger-Smashing Kid, Kid Who Used To Work For The Guy You Just Murdered, and Shouto (Just Shouto). Then he pulled out a copy of Re-Destro’s book and was all, “hey Endeavor have you heard of this book which was really important to the plot in the previous arc? I think you should read it, for reasons!!” and Endeavor just kind of stared at him, which wasn’t exactly inspiring. Anyways let’s see if these two idiots can manage to pull this off.

Today on BnHA: Hawks shoves the Liberation Army’s book into Endeavor’s hands while staring at him with the intensity of a thousand suns, and then, to avoid suspicion, proceeds to hand out another 500,000 copies of the book without even being asked. He then flies back to the PLF headquarters and is all “good news gentlemen, I gave out copies of the Army’s book to everyone in Japan!” and they’re all “that’s great, Hawks!” because somehow it turns out that this was actually a good plan. Back at the Endeavor Agency HQ, the kids meet Endeavor’s 30+ other sidekicks, who are all “now let’s all stand around and wait for Endeavor to tell us what to do.” Over in his office, Endeavor shrewdly deduces that Hawks was trying to tell him something, and pieces together the hidden code Hawks left in his book, which basically reads “IN FOUR MONTHS WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE.” Back at the PLF, the League cheerfully discusses their plot to blow up the entire world come Springtime. Which apparently everyone is on board with. So, uh, does anyone else feel like they accidentally fell asleep during a really important part of the movie, because uh. What.

(All comments are my unspoiled reactions from my initial readthrough of the chapter. I did a quick edit for grammar and clarity afterward, and added a few ETAs in the process, but aside from that there are no changes.)

okay so two things: (1) as I mentioned in a previous post, Caleb Cook reported that this chapter took him more than 4 times longer than usual to translate. so like, what does that mean?? guess we’re about to find out!

and (2) HAWKS’S REAL NAME. I started typing up this recap early just so I could liveblog my reaction, since it seems that the databook has leaked, and I figure I’m going to stumble across this sooner rather than later. so I’m just going to look it up now here goes!!

AHHHH TAKAMI KEIGO AHHHH

lol. I have no idea what that actually means. let me look up some more stuff about this

oooh thank you reddit!

ooh damn, I love it!? “hawk” + “vision” lolol HORIKOSHI BACK AT IT AGAIN. but “watchman” is a really nice bonus what with how it relates both to the whole spying biz, and in a more general sense toward what he is trying to do as a hero trying to protect society. plus the name “Keigo” just has a really nice sound to it in general. kind of a boyish, youthful sound. not too hard or soft. idk. I like it. that was my favorite character in Bleach too

also apparently both of the kanji used for “Keigo” mean “enlightenment” oooh. my god I could analyze this all day. this being Thursday night, I’ll have some time to ruminate before I read the chapter tomorrow, so if I have any epiphanies I will add them in later!

(ETA: no additional thoughts on this right now, but there is now a ton of other content out from Ultra Analysis, so let’s take a quick look at some of that!

Haagen Dazs’s gender:  I now feel vindicated in continuing to refer to him as a “he” even after the face reveal! let this be a lesson to everyone never to judge a shounen character solely by how pretty they are. not that it wouldn’t have been nice to have another female villain! anyways the important thing is that I still don’t have his name memorized and never will!

Thirteen’s gender?!: now this, I don’t really like. Thirteen was already in the previous databook IIRC and their gender was ambiguous. which to be frank was awesome. having a canon nonbinary character was sick. why you gotta do this now Horikoshi smdh.

Reason for Shouji’s mask: nooooo poor Shouji. people in quirk society are jerks! lol I get the arms being scary, but his face?? now I really want to see what he looks like though. it would be cool if he became more accepting of himself as a result of hanging with his chill classmates and decided to ditch the mask. anyways my boy needs a hug.

and there’s a lot of other stuff, including a whole series of cute segments showing the characters’ relationships with each other, but I think I’ll save those for another post because otherwise this would get way too off-track. but man, so far I’m really loving this.)

okay kiddos. it is now Friday, and time to take our horse to the hype town road. I have been waiting all fucking week for this shit so it had better not disappoint!

“Rising to Action” ooh, nice. guess this is not much of a “sit still” gang, here

okay so we’re picking off right where we left off, and guys, I just need to know, does anyone other than me find this kind of hilarious

like, I don’t know why but just. Endeavor’s face. omg. he just looks like he’s trying so hard to figure out what’s wrong. I think what it is is that this is the exact same bemused/perplexed expression that Shouto gets on his face all the freaking time, and it just tickles me to no end that the apple apparently doesn’t fall far from the tree. ahh Shouto I know you don’t want to hear this but damn boy you look like your dad

anyways. I think we can all agree Endeavor should not be looking this adorable and what the hell. let’s move on

LOOOOOOL

why is this so funny ahhhhhhh. they’re so fucking serious please stop. I mean, but of course they’re serious, though. the weird one is me, right? whatever!

so now here’s the handoff. between these two super-serious dudes

Endeavor you had better not do like me and be all “of course I’ll read it!” fully intending to follow through (really!) but then you never do and everyone is super disappointed and you start to read something else instead, all the while feeling incredible guilt! my point is, Endeavor, I hope you don’t have ADHD or we’re all fucking screwed omg

lol though thankfully we have a backup!

“oh boy!” clamors Deku, a gleam of excitement in his eye. “homework!”

OH MY GOD

WHO ARE YOU, OPRAH

ff now he’s just SLAPPING THEM INTO THEIR HANDS omg. this is amazing

love how Katsuki is keeping an extra 1.5 meters of space in between him and the others because cooties. or something

anyways! I really want them all to read it actually so this is awesome! KACCHAN YOU ESPECIALLY. I want you to read it and then give it a disgusted 1 star review on goodreads. show me how much you’ve grown kiddo

lmaooo

Todoroki Shouto. god’s perfect idiot. bless this child. someone explained Occam’s razor to him one day, and he just sat there nodding like “yes that makes perfect sense” and proceeded to apply it to every fucking thing in his life from there on out. “what’s Hawks doing carrying around 10,000 copies of The Book of PLF and just handing them out to strangers like an old lady on Halloween? processing... processing... oh I see, he probably just REALLY LIKES THE BOOK how keen”

this is what Hawks is up against. this squad of certified morons with two whole brain cells shared among them on a good day. boy literally brought three backup secret messages just in case Endeavor was too dense to figure this out, only to watch these kids exclaim, with perfect sincerity, “GOSH, HAWKS MUST REALLY LIKE THIS BOOK, HUH”

and meanwhile the best Endeavor can do is “............something.......... feels.... off.......” fml. we’re all gonna die. Hawks, I’m sorry. you tried!! next time give Momo your secret message instead!

so now he says that he’s actually recommending this book to all of his acquaintances omg. don’t tell me this handsome canary is actually going around handing out books to every single person he knows?? all to cover up this one action of giving Endeavor the book with the secret message highlighted in it?? okay guys help me decide: is this brilliance or stupidity? like, what is even going on inside Hawks’s head. “I’ll just fly around handing out copies of Atlas Fucking Shrugged to everyone I meet. that’ll seem really natural”

I s2g Endeavor if you don’t follow up on this...! THE WORLD IS COUNTING ON YOU YOU BIG MEATHEAD. GET TO READIN’. MAKE LEVAR PROUD

and now Hawks is flying away with his hands in his pockets

godspeed you dramatically casual bastard

now Deku is all “you know, he’s not much older than us, but he really seems like he’s got his shit together!” which, yeah. don’t you hate that? the truth is though it’s all an act, and he’s actually just as screwed up as the rest of you! the moral is: never trust any 22-year-old who seems like they’ve got their shit together. because, no. he sits on a throne of lies

Endeavor are you actually being thoughtful??!

oh my god. we may actually have a chance here. praise be

now we are cutting to the Endeavor agency! guys, fucking look at this fucking ‘E’, though

ngl that shit is dope. I’m mad. I would buy his merch just for the logo and I hate that about myself

holy shit

the... flaming hot... oh my god

holy shit there’s so many of them

(ETA: hold up -- “Bakugou” and “Shouto”? this is a crucial detail here; they’re using Bakugou’s last name, but Shouto’s given name. so either they’re calling him Shouto because they know his pop, or -- more likely -- they’re calling him “Shouto” because that’s his hero name. in which case, “Bakugou” most likely also refers to “Bakugou” as in the hero name, not his actual name. meaning that still is his hero name. meaning he is still undecided. fucking... Katsuki. honey. why.

ffff and the new databook seems to support this too. instead of a hero name, Horikoshi just wrote “XXX” indicating he still hasn’t made up his mind. welp. looks like it’s back on that slow burn character development train, folks. maybe by the end of this arc, though? please? Horikoshi? Horikoshi damn it look at me.)

so this is how the number one operates, huh. meanwhile All Might only ever had one sidekick, and reluctantly at that. he really was so far out ahead of everyone else that he was basically untouchable. crazy

anyways, yes! they don’t know anything about anything so please teach them!

good grief this girl says Endeavor has over thirty sidekicks?? lmao and her name is “Burnin’.” please tell me the missing g is an actual part of her name please I need this

wow, Burnin’ really went and tried to pick a fight with my famously hot-tempered son knowing full well what his personality is like. and just look at him keeping his cool and firing back though

oh, Katsuki. [hair ruffle] he will thrive here

damn these guys are passionate

Endeavor seriously picked these people as his sidekicks? that Endeavor? they didn’t annoy the shit out of him?? that man is an enigma

btw can we all just stop here for a moment and give a shoutout to this horse-looking dude because. look at him. amazing. new fave

anyway so now the mummy-looking guy is explaining how they organize their shift schedule

so professional. this really is the big leagues

yoooooo my boy is FIRED UP. READY TO SAVE SOME BITCHES! YESSSSS WIN AND RESCUE LET’S DO THIS

LET’S FUCKING GOOOO omg I love him so much. Kacchan you need to cool it or I’m going to spend this whole fucking chapter ruffling your hair

(ETA: incidentally, here’s something I neglected to point out earlier: in spite of being a belligerent asshole in general, Katsuki for the most part is actually surprisingly respectful to most adults, especially heroes. so it’s interesting then that so far, this doesn’t seem to apply to Hawks. he almost seems to consider him another rival rather than another mentor/teacher-type figure to learn from. I wonder if this is because -- as Deku pointed out earlier this chapter -- Hawks is much closer to them in age than the other heroes. it’s interesting that that was pointed out -- and that in the very next panel Katsuki was grumbling about how Hawks pisses him off, at that.

anyway. this BakuHawks rivalry seems to be an established thing now, so I’m very curious to see how this develops.)

lol now Mummy Guy is all “that’s great! now we just need to wait for Endeavor to tell us what to do!” and Kacchan is like “WHAT”

I mean, he’s got a point lol. “we’re so busy!” “great let’s get to work!” “actually we don’t have any work yet!” like, what a fucking tease. don’t worry Kacchan, they’re just waiting to make sure they assign you boys a job that’s plot-related so we don’t waste any time

ahhh, and now we finally come to the moment we’ve all been waiting for! the part that apparently took four hours to translate! ENDEAVOR READING A BOOK

yeah he was acting like he had a freaking gun to his head. why don’t heroes have secret code phrases they can use to let each other know some weird fucking shit is up? or maybe they do, but since he’s being recorded and since PLF has some heroes on roster who probably know those same codes (looking at you, Slidin’), Hawks didn’t want to risk one of them figuring it out. that makes sense

ahhh, here we go

don’t tell me Caleb tried to translate this whole thing. though I gotta admit I am hella curious

anyway. so the rest of this page is Endeavor metaing about Hawks, and it’s some good stuff, ngl

he really is fond of him, huh. look at all those pictures. how many mental snapshots did you take of this kid smiling?? he’s so adopted it hurts

and look at the concern in that last panel! “why is he acting so weird, that’s not like him, I’ve got to get to the bottom of this.” damn, Hawks really did put his trust in the exact right person and it’s paying off

ENDEAVOR STOP MAKING THESE SOFT WORRIED FACES ABOUT HAWKS RIGHT THIS INSTANT I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THESE FEELS

god damn!! I don’t know why, but I continue to be surprised and impressed at how the character development of Endeavor is actually a subscribe and save deal and not just a one-time purchase. fucking look at Todoroki Enji, proud annual recipient of a different “world’s worst dad” mug every Father’s Day, actually caring enough about another human being to notice the subtle changes in his behavior and realize something is wrong. bruh. good for you!! human compassion is a damn good look for you, negl. fucking growth right here and I’m here for it

anyways, on to the hidden code!

and here are all of the highlighted portions for your code-breaking pleasure

fucking feel like I’m reading Detective Conan right now. yeesh

oooh!

BINGPOT LOOOOOL WHY DID I GET SO EXCITED OKAY LET ME GO BACK AND READ!

“the” “enemy” “liberation” “army” ahhhhhh! HAWKS YOU SNEAKY SON OF A BITCH. GOOD JOB ENDEAVOR!

and now we’re cutting back to Hawks, nooooo I wanted to see Endeavor’s reaction! come on!

lmao although it’s worth it to see Hawks mentally roasting Endeavor exactly like I was mere pages ago omg

his fucking face omg. that’s right Hawks, he’s not the brightest crayon in the box. not the sharpest tack in the bulletin board. he’s a few fries short of a happy meal. the elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top floor

but give him some credit, though! because he did figure it out! not necessarily because he was clever, but because he knows you!

oh shit lol

OH SO YOU PLANNED THAT PART TOO. WELL OKAY THEN

goddamn. he really is a clever bastard. and okay but in all seriousness, I fucking love that he has enough faith in this weird connection between them that out of all the ploys he could have gone with, this is what he chose. he seriously put all his eggs in the “Endeavor will figure it out from my face” basket. and it fucking paid off. this is awesome

AHHHHHHHHHHHH HERE WE GO

LOOK AT HIS EYE OH MY GOD. YOU CAN SEE THE EXACT MOMENT WHEN HE REALIZES HOW SCREWED THEY ALL ARE, YES, FUCK, THIS IS WHAT I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR OH GOD

and we’re cutting back to Hawks again! I’ll just assume the rest of his message went something like “we” “are” “boned” and Endeavor’s face was like :o

BACK AT THE OL’ VILLAIN HOTEL!!!

LOL WHAT IS THIS

THEY HAVE A FUCKING COUNCIL NOW

whose seat is that over on the left? Hawks’s? is Gigantomachia actually wearing a shirt?? AND SHOW US TOMURA’S FACE HORIKOSHI YOU COWARD

lmao oh my god are they really buying this shit

look at him. so trustworthy. nothing to suspect over here! just a 100% sincere born-again villain committed to the cause!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

NOOOOOO MY BABIES ARE EXPOSED. HORIKOSHI YOU BETTER PROTECT THEM I SWEAR TO GOD!!!

wow is the whole conversation just shifting over to the topic of Deku now, seriously?

oh my god oh my god oh my god. like. it’s been so long since the forest lodge and Kamino that I almost forgot that the League already knows these kids. they did fight Deku and Shouto briefly in the woods, and then they had an extended fight against Katsuki later on, although Dabi was unconscious for that part. anyways, shit. just like that they’re on their radar again I’m getting chills omgggg

(ETA: at least they’re underestimating them, though. “looks like he hasn’t gotten much stronger.” boy have you not heard about his bloop? that bloop will fuck you up just you wait!)

so now have some weird panels of Hawks walking through a door

(ETA: ohhhh you can see the door closing on the tip of his wing close-up! sneaky!)

ooh! wtf are you serious he can use his feathers to eavesdrop?!

(ETA: it only just clicked on my second read-through that Spinner of all people appears to be the mastermind behind this plan? like, am I reading this right? is he Tomura’s second-in-command now or what? damn, boy, good for you.)

okay, question. if he could do this the entire time, why did they even need him to pretend to join the League at all? I guess you never know when having a man on the inside who can possibly influence their decision-making will come in handy. but still, it seems to me like he could have easily done the spying bit without ever having to join up. ehhh but I guess there’s probably a range limit, and too much risk of the feathers getting caught and destroyed... eh, fine. I’ll allow it

AHHHHHHHHHHHH

WHAT THE FUCK WHAT EXCUSE ME WHAT?????

AND OF COURSE THAT’S THE END OF THE CHAPTER, LOL, FUCK. EXCUSE ME WHILE I GO STAND IN A CORNER AND SCREAM

lol “danger lurks” fucking you think?? what the hell! so they have an actual plan already, with the details outlined to the extent that they actually have a freaking timetable and everything? and the Liberation Army is on board with this whole thing too? the “destroying everything” part and all? this is too much to process all at once fuck me I can’t

okay! so four months from now is also when the kids will enter their second year! so that means Shinsou can get in on this action too. I’m trying to think of other significant plot things this could potentially imply, but none are coming to mind right now, other than it’ll be the anniversary of USJ. but that’s basically it. -- oh, wait, this also means that there’ll be a new first-year class of students at U.A. too! so that could be interesting. some potential new characters, and a chance for Deku and the others to be senpais. incidentally, to the best of my knowledge the kids will all stay in the same class and Aizawa will continue to be their homeroom teacher in year two. so nothing will change really aside from them becoming 2-A rather than 1-A. and Shinsou joining them, as mentioned. omg

anyway! let me see, any other stray thoughts before I wrap this up? I guess it’s worth noting that Toga’s eye is fine. the League has healed up pretty nicely in general actually. like, that’s seriously impressive for a group that doesn’t have Recovery Girl on staff. how long has it even been since Deika? a few weeks? this is almost ridiculous

and the “boom” -- is that literal? like they’re actually planning to blow everything up? or is that a metaphorical boom. fucking what kind of plan did they come up with where they actually think they can destroy THE ENTIRETY OF JAPAN all at once? is there a doomsday device?? what exactly is this “power” they’re talking about? HAWKS WHY DIDN’T YOU PUT THAT IN YOUR STUPID MESSAGE YOU BOOB

hahaha. anyways. it came down to the last two pages, but that certainly was a reveal worthy of all the hype. to sum: yikes

[bixbythemartian]

I am tagging myself in because I’m obnoxious like that.

Dear Baby Witch:

In the first place, you want to do some reading on closed traditions, why they’re closed, and how you hurt people by swiping from them. It’s really important stuff to know and can help you understand, more broadly, how appropriation in general hurts people. I suggest you read on and off tumblr about this topic, so do some searching on it.

After that: what drew you to being a witch in the first place? because that’s where you start.

For example, did you get drawn in because you wanted to work with a certain god or gods? Best place to start is research. There’s all kindsa communities on tumblr and across the interwebs with excellent reading lists on where to start with practically any god you’ve heard of and a great many you have not. (If you’re interested in Norse gods, you’d do well to do some research on the norse pagan nazi dogwhistles, as those are somewhat specific to that community. Like there’s racism and shit all over but it seems to be particularly bad in that community.)

do you wanna do spells? here go to town some of the spells are goofy, ngl, but as far as a practical resource for DOING magic of basically every variety, you won’t find any place more complete. there’s also lots of spells on tumblr, but sometimes searching tumblr is tricky.

isn’t just jumping into doing spells right away a little, uh dangerous?

Yeah. It’s a calculated risk. Most of the time when you do a spell and it goes wrong, it just won’t work. It fizzles. That’s like number one most common way spells go wrong. (When that happens- and it will happen to you, baby witch, because it’s just one of those things that happens to witches of all types- write it down and note that this didn’t work and once you find spells that do work you can come back to it and figure out why it didn’t.)

Number 2 is, essentially, ‘it worked but not the way I expected/intended’. This is generally at least somewhat humorous and is, at worst, obnoxious *most* of the time. As a for example, I did a spell on my lighter with a sigil which was just to prevent me from losing it, because I was sick of losing my fucking lighters. The sigil I used was something like ‘stay by my side’. I lost it for a fucking WEEK because it had slipped into the actual lining of my purse. My purse was never any more than like ten feet from me most of the time. The lighter was there, I just couldn’t FIND it. You label shit like that ‘not the desired result’ and find something that works better.

Occasionally you actually invite in shit you didn’t want, that does happen but it’s not super common. (As you get more practiced, this is still a risk, it’s just less scary because you know how to handle it. The only way to get more practiced is to do the thing. IDK what to tell you. If you accidentally invite shit in, banish it. Keep trying new banishing spells until something works. Then review the spell you did and try to figure out how that went wrong.)

But if you wish to be cautious that’s fine, you can find lots of places to read about how people handle when spell work goes wonky, how to undo spells and break them, how to banish unwanted shit (that’s just generally good info to have) and how to ward your space (also generally worth knowing, even if you don’t use it)

If you’re interested in being a specific type of witch (green, weather, kitchen, so on) follow people who are on that path, read about the type of magic that people on that path are doing. And if you later decide that path is not for you, that’s fine! Take what you learned and find something better. Don’t feel pressured to find a specific type of witch that you are, either, it’s not necessary. Like it’s fine if you want to do that, but you do not have to be a TYPE of witch to be a witch.

Like start where you’re interested, move out from there.

The things is, there’s no Big Book of Rules that someone can hand you that once you master, you are now an advanced witch (unless you join specific traditions, but that doesn’t seem to be the case here).

There’s no hierarchy of steps that you go from one level to the next to obtain some kind of mastery.

Like, you wanna be a witch? Congrats, you’re a witch! What’s next?

And it’s like that until you die or decide to stop being a witch, whichever comes first.

Hi! Baby witch here, a friend of mine suggested you to me, I was wondering if you had any advice or an idea of where to begin?

Read! Read a whole bunch!

It’s a vast subject, and can be overwhelming. So read stuff in your area of interest, and see where it leads you. (Though steer clear of closed traditions!)

[evenstevensranked]

#45: Season 2, Episode 13 - “A Very Scary Story”

Annnnd, we’re back! Let the countdown resume. I know y’all remember this one. How could you not?! It’s THE ICONIC HALLOWEEN EPISODE!!! Lawrence Jr. High is holding free eye examinations on Halloween. But, instead of being legit eye exams, students are getting their eyes BURNED OUT OF THEIR SOCKETS?!

It opens with Ren seemingly home alone the night before Halloween watching some knock off of “Psycho.” I like this bit. She yells at the TV, “Honey, you’re getting chased by 6 mutants and you’re just deciding to take a shower?!” — Seriously, though. People in horror films make the dumbest decisions. I think the fake movie footage is hilarious.

Just then, the phone rings. Naturally. And now we get a knock off of “Scream” lol. Whoever’s calling distorts their voice and says “Do you like penguins, Ren? MAHAHAH!” and hangs up. I wonder who that could be. (Sarcasm) Ren is walking around holding a skillet as a weapon which is kinda funny. She looks so uncoordinated with it. Turns out it was just Louis calling from inside the house. Shocking. He comes jumping out at her making what’s supposed to be a “penguin” noise, I guess. I really don’t know. He kinda sounds like Doodlebob, honestly. Obviously, Ren screams and Louis has the audacity to ask “Ren, why are you so jumpy?!?!" I love this line and the way Shia says it. I use it a lot, lol. He claims he just wanted to show her his penguin jockey costume. The costume itself is a true a stroke of genius. But, I’m sure there was a less serial killer way to go about the reveal, lol. This episode definitely gets iconic points for that costume, though. People have gone as penguin jockeys because of Louis: x / x ...Incredible. 

Ren is seriously a wet blanket here. She refers to Halloween as “childish dress up games.” What da heck?! Lighten up. You’re like, 14. I embarrassingly went as Hannah Montana for Halloween freshman year of high school, 2007. Bad idea. But just because I have tan skin and wore a blonde wig, everyone thought I was supposed to be Beyoncé. I constantly had to correct people. I WAS HANNAH MONTANA, DANG FLABBIT!!! The struggle. 

Ren tells Louis that his costume isn’t going to scare anyone. I never thought it was intended to be scary in the first place??? Either way, Donnie comes walking in and Louis makes some more Doodlebob noises at him and Donnie runs away screaming “AHHH! PENGUIN!” Wow. I’m only mentioning this because I read a little trivia that Donnie originally walks in holding a basketball, but when they cut back to him he’s suddenly holding what looks like an inflatable toucan or something?! What?! How do you forget that Donnie was holding a basketball one second and then hand him an inflatable toucan the next?! I do not understand. 

“Wait, what was Donnie the Sports Jock just holding?! It was probably a basketball or something because that makes sense. But, I can’t remember. HERE! Take this INFLATABLE TOUCAN!” ?!?! - Probably the actual thought process that resulted in this ridiculousness. 

At school the next day, we see that LJH takes Halloween VERY SERIOUSLY. Stuff like this gave me unrealistic expectations. If you wore a costume to school growing up, you were a weirdo and people judged you. Not here! They have some intense decorations and the entire school is dressed up! Well, everyone except for Ren — who’s in a freaking pencil skirt and blazer, walking around making sure everyone gets an eye exam.

This school is more ~lit~ than most actual Halloween parties.

We find out that Louis and the gang are planning a prank for the cafeteria: Putting fake eyeballs in the turkey gravy. Yum. Louis shows them the fake eyeballs he bought and says he just got them in overnight from Chico. It’s a small detail but I like that he mentions Chico. The city is also brought up in an earlier episode. I always laugh when Tom tells Louis “I need to get my eyes examined.” Louis says “YOUR EYES EXAMI— Tom, how many fingers am I holding up?!” And Tom has to squint at the fingers RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIS FACE in order to give the correct answer. 

“.......Two.” // “Exactly. Your eyes are fine.”

Okay, long story short: Basically, anyone who goes in for an eye exam comes out acting like a robot. Students are walking around with sunglasses on and are suddenly obsessed with drinking milk and following the rules. Tom is the first victim of Louis’ crew. He says “I suddenly got quite a hankering for the Moo Juice. It’s an excellent source of calcium for overall skeletal health.” I FEEL LIKE THAT LINE IS ENGRAINED INTO MY MIND FOREVER! Tom bails on the cafe prank and says “If something like this were to go on our permanent records, it would follow us for the rest of our lives.” THIS LINE NEVER LEFT MY BRAIN EITHER. I feel like this episode was actually Disney propaganda or something, brainwashing us into drinking milk and being good students. Not even gonna lie, when I was young this episode made me crave milk... and I hated milk. *X-Files theme song plays in the distance.*

Tawny and Twitty both get their eyes checked and start saying the same robotic nonsense Tom did. Louis is having none of it, though. He yells “TAKE OFF THE STUPID GLASSES!” and we get one of the most terrifying moments of our childhood...

This is still so disturbing. Show producers Sean McNamara and David Brookwell wrote this episode. I seriously want to track them down and make them explain what gave them the bright idea to traumatize children in this way?!

The classic Louis Scream kicks into full gear here. (see first image of the post) I’m laughing because I just noticed that as he runs away, he whips the butt of the penguin like “giddy up!” as if he’s actually racing on it… Oh my god. As he’s running he shouts “NO ONE’S TAKIN’ MY PEEPERS!” which I always kinda liked, haha.

Louis ends up spying on one of the “eye exams” and the process is revealed! Wexler and Tugnut zap the kids’ eyes and do in fact brainwash them with the milk and permanent record mumbo jumbo. Great. 

Louis is now the only student who hasn’t had an eye exam. Wexler, Tugnut and the whole school are going after him. He calls home in a panic asking for Steve and Eileen to come pick him up before conveniently hiding out in the Penguin bathroom.

His family shows up within like, 10 seconds. Teleportation is the only explanation for this. Louis goes to get his stuff before leaving... but OH NO! Wexler and Tugnut greet Donnie, Steve and Eileen and make them go in for eye exams. This always made me soooo angry as a kid. I felt Louis’ sheer horror and helplessness here tbh. Just then, Ren pops out of nowhere and Louis explains the whole situation to her. She acts like she has no idea what he’s talking about, but all of the robot students start chasing them so she helps him find a place to hide.

“Safe?! For how long, Ren? How long before those eyeless, sunglass-wearing, milk-slurping zombies get in here?!” - ALL I CAN THINK OF IS THE WALKING DEAD. “DON’T OPEN. DEAD INSIDE.” 

Ren leaves Louis alone to see if the coast is clear. WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?! Does she not see the horde of zombie students through the windows?! Regardless, Wexler and Tugnut appear and take Louis down to the school’s newly renovated torture-chic basement. (Louis: “When did the school get a dungeon?” Wexler: “Actually it’s an evil lair.”) 

Ren was the ringleader this whole time. She comes walking out looking like THIS and Wexler and Tugnut refer to her as “mistress.” Okay, this is a little creepy now...

Louis looks at the wall and says “R.E.N.....? That’s gotta stand for something.” - I clearly remember laughing at this line when I was little for some reason omg. 

Ren explains that they’re going to turn everyone into “Renplicates” (actual Ren clones) because the world would be a better place if everyone just followed the rules. Okay, maybe that’s true. But, you don’t need to morph everyone into cloNES OF YOURSELF PHYSICALLY!!! Seriously... whaaaa?! lol. Around here Ren says “Tugnut! Turn on the juice!” which Jim Wise recently admitted was an innuendo line that the crew laughed at off camera. Adult jokes on kids shows sort of creep me out though, ngl. 

Anyway, everyone -- including their parents, step into the Renplicator and transform into Ren. 

Everyone except... Louis.

HONESTLY WHAT THE HELL?!?! I never liked thisssssss.

That’s where the story ends. THANK GOD! Turns out it was just Louis telling Beans a scary story. “Beans, you wanted to know what happened last Halloween. So, I told you!” To which Beans responds: 

One of the only Beans lines I like. (x)

And that’s it! There’s a bit at the very end where Beans tries to get away with trick-or-treating at the Stevens house several times by wearing a bunch of different costumes. Donnie answers the door every time and says things like “That’s cute, kid!” and “Haven’t I see you here before already?” IT’S CLEARLY FREAKING BEANS! 

I never understood this. I know Donnie’s dumb but he knows who Beans is. They should’ve just had a random kid do this scene. Using Beans makes NO SENSE. Also, he already raids their kitchen all the time as it is. He doesn’t need to go “undercover” to get candy from the Stevens house, lol. 

That’s the Halloween episode guys! Strangely, not as funny as I remember. Still a classic, though... obviously. I was originally going to rank it in the #30s, solely for the iconic value.. but, when I was deciding on what to put for #45 I just had to put this one here. It’s a “special” episode. So it’s difficult to rank it any higher than this since it’s just a fun one-off, silly, seasonally appropriate episode. Nothing furthers the overall arc of the series here, lol. That’s not the case for all “special” episodes... But, this one sticks out like a sore thumb in comparison to the other 64.  

Did it scar you for life as a kid?! I have to say that this episode and “Don’t Look Under The Bed” (which Larry Beale/Ty Hodges starred in!!!) literally scared the living crap out of me. Apparently DLUTB has actually been banned?! Whoa. To this day, I’m still afraid of some demon boogyman hand grabbing at my ankle...

Thanks for reading! Chime in below. 

twitter | facebook | instagram