#New Amsterdam Season 3 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

yourlocalsmutwriter · 22 days ago

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notarialno zavereni angst, danny ric or whoever u want

American law - Daniel Ricciardo x reader

You didn't know what was worse - getting your marriage annulled only a year after or the flight there. In your entire life you had only been to Vegas once. And now you have to do it all over again. Your divorce could have been an email, you think as you board the Amsterdam to LAX airplane. At least Daniel was already in America, you think bitterly. Of course he didn't care enough to stay with you, putting as much distance as possible between you. The little voice in your head tells you that he would definitely make a paddock cameo. Or a surprise appearance at the Enchanté popup. A man of the people, new and improved. Showing everyone that after the official end of your marriage, he was free. He could try all the girls now or drive a 100 cars. Even if lately you'd seen snapshots of him on two wheels.

Truth be told, he looked like he was doing better. Yet you knew him best. He was packing his schedule with events, sponsorships, and new merch drops for a reason. If he was on the move constantly, he didn't have time to think about your breakup. Meanwhile, you had been drowning your sorrows in D3 wine bottles. The last time you tasted that was on your faithful wedding night. Vegas GP 2023, you would always be famous. Since the queue for passport control was longer than the text chain between you and your now ex, you could reminisce about better times. Times where the world consisted of just you and Daniel.

There was nothing more dangerous than a charming man with lots of class. Unfortunately your beloved couldn't really exude that now. Daniel was wearing a sparkly jacket over his race suit.

"Snazzy, isn't it. Think we can get your glitter and some glue sticks and make you a matching one? New Enchanté drop?" Daniel jokes, motioning to the sparkly eye makeup he saw you in. He loved how excited about this you were, despite this being your upteenth GP. You'd been his grid good luck charm, ever since you started dating in 2018. Usually you'd be in for one or two European races, but there was no way you would miss the last few races, especially considering that you skipped out on attending a chunk of this season. You ignore the horrible memories from the Dutch hospital where they tried to give your boyfriend an aspirin for his broken arm.

"If you touch my primer tonight, you are not leaving Vegas in one piece." You joke and plant a kiss on his lips. "Your quali's about to start, lemme take this." You shrug on the eyesore jacket. The black and bold RICCIARDO letters pop against the blue sequins. Danny chuckles. He thinks how good his last name sounds with your first one. He got the idea way back when he was filming the grill the grid videos. When the admin asked who was most likely to get married in the little chapel in Vegas, he threw Charles under the bus. But the truth was, it was himself. Daniel had the ring ready, planning to take you on a late night track walk and propose there. Maybe it was the smell of weed in the air. Maybe it was the plethora of cheesy Vegas movies you two had binged the night before. But one thing was apparent. Daniel Ricciardo was getting married in Sin City.

He presses you into a bone crushing hug before dashing to his car. Despite there being a garage of people who also rooted for him. Despite the roar of the crowds, both here and at home. You're the one that cheers on the loudest. The most loyal supporter. Truly, you loved him the most.

You were snapped back from the thoughts by a government official asking for your passport and boarding pass. They take in the number 3 driver cap you had to pull to the side. Your last name intrigues them, too.

"Huh, what a coincidence that you're a Daniel fan and you have the same last name." They note. Clearly they were not versed in the gossip that came hand in hand with their sport. That was better, you thought. You weren't ready to be excluded from the WAG list.

"Yeah, funny. I'm actually going to the race, so maybe it'll get a few chuckles in the fan zone." You reply. In your mind you rotate the idea of having to change all your documents now. After this weekend you wouldn't be a Ricciardo anymore. Plain old you. That's why you hadn't bought a return ticket yet. It would feel almost fake to travel under Daniel's name.

With some time to spare, you grab a few packs of stroopwaffels and water for the flight. Your eyes scan the shelves and notice you grabbed your ex's favorite brand by force of habit. Nothing said "Fuck you for leaving me after we tied the knot" like a syrup baked good. What was an appropriate thing to even say? You debated asking your friends. They'd probably give you some jab about how you're the one keeping your dignity, even though he had been the one turning bitter near the end. Even though you'd laugh at their "give him money for a Moët, since he wasn't getting champagne podiums" line, you wouldn't believe it. Nothing could help you. Nothing could change the fact that this trip was going to hurt.

This first Vegas weekend was hurting. The Alpha Tauri wasn't a rocket ship. It was a submarine, sinking. Danny had somehow finessed a mini stroll for the two of you after he qualified in P14. He was blowing off media duties, ignoring the pen of journalists that wanted to know his thoughts. He had only 4 words in his brain. "Will you marry me?" looped around his head. The ring was now loose in his gloves, the fireproof pocket being too obvious. He took your hand and spun you around on the Vegas street. The sphere was changing. He was convincing you that there was something great on it coming soon, making you not take your eyes off it as he turned his back to you and retied his shoes.

He asks you to turn around and help him up cause he's got a cramp. You're mid bad joke about how he's blowing your back out so good and the car is blowing his when your mind registers what's happening. Daniel is on one knee, a shining ring in his hand.

" I want the only VIP on my table to be the view of you. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. Better than any win. You've been with me through the highs and lows of my career. I want you to be there when I retire in like 10 years and then forever. Will you make me the luckiest person in this city by marrying me?" He asks. You say yes, through tears in your eyes.

"Good, because the pavement was killing my knees. This thing gets hot." He jokes as he slides the ring on your finger. He kisses you and you swear it's like the first one. You slide your hand in his as he tells you about the ring, the engravings inside.

"You know, I never told you this, but I always wanted to get married in Vegas. Other girls probably wanted a grand ceremony filled with family and friends. My practical ass wanted in and out." You say, admiring the golden band.

"I mean, the chapel is open 24 hours. Elvis impersonator and all. It would be refreshing for them to get someone sober. Should we do it?" Daniel asks.

"You're crazy. You have a race tomorrow. People will tear you to shreds for focusing on me instead." You reason. Daniel's life was neatly sliced in two. Driving and not driving. And the biting comments from fans and Helmut were nothing new. Danny had a bad weekend? Your fault. You were a distraction. Which didn't make any sense. Max was world champion and he had Kelly. What people didn't see was that you loved your boyfriend so madly. Keeping each other sane through the online scrutiny. Covering for each other in front of paparazzi. Even things like keeping a balanced diet. Perhaps you were the best thing that happened to Daniel. But for you, it was beyond the shadow of a doubt. You wondered how you had survived your life before him. At least now he was yours forever.

"Come on. You're my lucky charm. If anything, you make me a better driver. I'm faster when I think that afterwards I'm coming home to you. So, let's make the gossip pages go wild." He says, not ready for the night to end. You give in, only interjecting with a

"Fine, fine but we cannot even have a lick of....."

"Champagne, please." You ask the stewardess.

"I'm sorry, but we don't serve alcohol yet, it's an early flight. I can get you sparkling water if you'd like." She offers, the picture of professionalism.

"That would be great, thank you." You say.

A hangover was not a good idea. Apparently you were the only sensible one. You paid for the in flight wifi solely to be able to communicate with Daniel. He was picking you up from the airport, so you wanted to update him. But the reply you got from him was unusual. The Instagram voice memos he gave you sounded something like this: “I'm drunk and I've been staring at my hands for an hour. I wanna remember what it was like to have you in them.”. His voice is slurred. He's reckless. So are you.

“Enjoying the night I see. Did you find a girl who's gonna erase me? Did you find a love that's gonna kill mine?”. He replies instantly with a “I found her, it's the one asking me stupid questions.”. Daniel means you, and he doubles down. “You're not mine anymore, but I don't want anyone touching you.” you cringe at his jealous streak. Maybe it was the first warning sign you missed. You know you should stop reminiscing about your wedding day. Yet……

You two are the smiliest couple in line to get married. Truly, someone could count Danny's teeth to pass the time. There's a wonderful old lady that's telling her entire life story to you two. She's here with her husband to be, who was her childhood sweetheart. But throughout her life, they were both dating other people, too hesitant to admit each other's feelings until now. She asks you if Daniel has always been this wonderful.

"He was born almost perfect. Though I think he needed me to complete him, to make him even greater." Your fiancee plants a kiss on your lips, effectively half-traumatising the older woman and smudging your lipstick.

You excuse yourself to reapply it, not about to get married with pink streaks on your face. As you exit the bathroom, there's a very drunk Elvis impersonator outside.

"Hey, baby. Wanna become my Priscilla?" He asks, wiggling his eyebrows at you. You decline politely and try to get back to the guy who you were about to marry. The fake king of rock and roll doesn't agree with your decision and continues to chat you up. You're practically sweating through the rental bride dress when your eyes meet a familiar pair of brown ones. Danny moves faster than the speed of light, fist raised in the air. Before he can punch the guy you step in, not wanting to have him spend his race in jail.

The faux Elvis backs off and the old lady lets you two cut in line. As a couple exits the chapel, it's your turn. You're about to marry the love of your life in Vegas. All your dreams were coming true. You ask Danny to pinch you and he jokes that he should say Max’s name instead.

The whole flight you're antsy. It was heartbreaking. To have counted on Daniel for so long to this. It was a long time coming. The nails in the coffin were getting drilled since the start of the season back in March. Spain was the first big fight. It was the fact that your husband's life was in a pressure cooker. The online hate. His crash with Stroll. The fact that Yuki's contract was extended already. His career hadn't been much of a roadblock even when it was uncertain before. The McLaren exit was actually almost a turning point towards considering to settle down.

You couldn't afford to think the time line after, not right now. Your hands were shaking as you type "I hope you're here, just landed." to Daniel. Then you shove the phone so deep in your bag, not wanting to look at it.

His messy curls are unmissable. Despite trying to lay low, he is there, like an eyesore. Decked out in yesterday's clothes, judging from Instagram. Holding an A4 piece of cardboard. Of course, it doesn't say your name or Ricciardo. It just says Unforgettable. Pictures of Danny in the Vegas airport would become a rumor mill and meme in a matter of minutes. It doesn't help that as soon as he sees you, he starts crying, his eyes filled with tears. Were they for you, for himself, for both of you. You would never know. Instead of a hello, or a miss you, you say.

“I can’t wrap my head around why you’re doing this right now.”

"I can't believe you're crying." You whisper to Daniel. His misty eyes are also making you tear up. The "priest" marrying you doesn't care about this, doesn't even shush you. Since this was not planned, there's no time to have personalized vows. Still, in the way your husband's voice breaks slightly at the "to love and to keep" says it all. Rings exchanged, a kiss shared and it's official. You are married to Daniel Ricciardo.

It's so past his "bedtime" (the regime set by his personal trainer) by the time you get to the hotel, that you actually consider just falling asleep. Of course, he has other plans. Danny's lips are on your neck since the elevator. As you pat down your pockets for the hotel key, his hands are all over your chest, squeezing and groping.

"Baby, please." You moan out.

"It's our first night together as a married couple. We can't just postpone it because we're busy tomorrow. I plan to make you thank yourself for saying yes to me." He argues, his touches trying to find any bare skin.

"Danny, come on. You know how lucky I am to have you. And you're also aware that you're insatiable." You say, leaning into his touch. You're trying to reason with him, but you can't help but trail your fingers from his defined abs down to his happy trail. He groans and you're a goner. It's safe to say that you end up "consumating" your marriage in the Vegas hotel. Some would call it poor decision making. You can't help but be a sucker for your husband talking about love and then making it to you. The creak of your bed and the banging of the headboard at least rattles the poor driver on the other side of the wall. So, a bonus for Alpha Tauri, you reason with yourself.

You had nearly forgotten what it was to have Daniel touching you. But as he's leading you out of the airport, he holds your hand. Your fingers are laced together, like lovers. There's an intrusive thought in your head.

"Drop it, stop this, you can't afford him to do that to you, why, Jesus fuck, you still felt it". The spark. The need to pull him aside and kiss him. The want to see that look in his brown eyes just before he leans in, like a needy puppy. Daniel is intent on killing you, because he draws little figures with his thumb on your skin.

"So, do we have a plan?" You ask, as if you hadn't had to figure out the logistics of this for weeks now.

"We'll go there during quali. At least this way all the fans will be occupied, either at home or in the grandstands." He says. "That way you can still enjoy a day of the weekend in Vegas."

"I don't know about you, but I don't think I'll be thinking about gambling or entertainment after the official end of my marriage." You reply. You're not sure if he shivers because of the cold or your words.

"You're right, I'm sorry." He apologizes. He drops your hand to wave to the Uber he hailed. Then he reaches out again, this time going for your left. Your ring is pressed against his. Possibly for the last time. You think that you should have simply given yours back that day.

If you opened the dictionary to the words “media circus” you'd find the Singapore 2024 Grand Prix as the definition. And at the center of it are you and Daniel. You're not sure why the press picks up on your increased presence in the paddock recently. Since Spain, you haven't missed a race. You and your husband may be on thin ice sometimes, but it would shatter like glass under your feet if you aren't communicating and being there for eachother. Supporting Danny reminds you why you love him. He's driven. Relentless. Never backs down from a challenge. Yet, now it's extreme. He works himself to the bone. On the simulator, or in long talks with his engineer Pierre. There is no rest for the wicked or the treathened. You're on the sidelines, picking out restaurants that are open at least til midnight. Making sure he eats, that he still can enjoy at least something. You're no influencer, but you use your social media to bring attention to his sponsored campaigns, to the new Enchanté collections. Anything to keep the image of Danny positive.

It's not like people don't ask you about it. Friends, family, coworkers are all curious what it feels like. Your reply? Even if it's tough on me, it's a million times tougher on him. So when you see the interview, you're flabbergasted.

The fans tag you in it. Not that you need that, seeing as you've been glued to the F1 website and social media. Danny is on media day duty, Thursday in Singapore. One of the reporters asks.

"Daniel , your lovely wife is joining you once again this weekend. Do you think that will affect your performance?"

"When it comes to how I drive, that's all me and the team. I'm not a superstitious guy, I don't believe in good luck. Racing is about strategy and talent."

The next journalist latches on, wanting to get a quote too. It spirals because your husband does not and cannot address his early exit rumors. So he talks about you. But his words aren't his, don't come from the heart. They are what Visa CashApp RB wants to hear. How he manages his time or more accurately how he doesn't spend it with you. He doesn't tell anyone that he asked for this. After spending a couple days apart, he wanted you to be by his side. As you'd been before. All good, always. Daniel even tries to crack a joke.

"Honestly, I'm starting to think that she's using me as a travel buddy or a way to check off some destinations off her holiday bucket list.". It gets scattered laughter, most because many times before he's shared that you weren't interested in flying out with him that much. That it stresses you out, the airport a hostile environment rather than a relaxing one.

After the press conference he's pulled aside, you presume for socials. You reason that he's busy and that's why he's not responding to your texts. His team's Instagram shows him energetic, and dancing to 28 by Zach Brian. Your song. Maybe the chorus of how lucky are we resonated with him, but not you.

"You can't just pretend it's all okay. After what you did. I'm not the villain, okay. I'm not the one taking your seat away from you." You say, the moment he comes back in your hotel room.

"You think they're gonna fire me, now? What happened to having my back. Do you think I'm like Logan, huh." He says back.

"You throw me under the bus, you throw another driver, anyone else? Wanna drag the lizard during practice, too, while you're at it? We're not the bad guys here, Daniel. Go ahead, blame me for being unhappy, and blame me for having bad luck. Just remember that when you fall from the top, it hurts like hell.” you reply.

He thinks he will show everyone who doubted him on Saturday. Have a great qualifying, cement his place in the team. Danny wishes that he didn't have to prove himself to you, too. But he does. So all the angst is worth it. As a “I put us through hell, but look where it got us, we'll fix it now.” He's out in Q1. It was over. He was the biggest loser, forced to see others succeed.

After watching Max win in Abu Dhabi, you were tagging along to the belated celebrations. 3 consecutive championships was a big deal. So you had a few too many glasses of champagne with Danny's friend and former teammate. That resulted in your husband having to support you out, and tuck you in with a bucket next to you.

When the morning comes, there's a bottle of water and ibuprofen on the bedside table next to you. But no Daniel. You make your way to the kitchen in the spacious penthouse room. There was your beloved, making breakfast. An omelet with extra cheese signaled the start of summer break. But what surprised you was the abundance of bouquets, flowers covering multiple pieces of furniture.

"Did I blackout before you lost a bet or something? Why is there a botanical garden in our hotel room." You ask, admiring your favorite ones.

"Wanted to give you something pretty to wake up. Besides the obvious. Also, you got so drunk last night that you started singing this song about getting flowers." He explains.

You cringe as you recall shouting the lyrics, "Buying me all the flowers, swearing on yourself that you count on me," along with a few others.

"You let me get "belting out breakup songs" drunk?" you ask.

"Hey, who knows how many tipsy nights you'll have left in you?" He replies.

"Is this a jab about me aging, how dare you? You're older than me, you prick. Wait. Oh? Is this about?" You go on, then the realization hits you. Daniel's actually talking about

"A baby, yes. You are bad at picking up on hints. Do you think we should try for kids? I know we've had the conversation before, but are you still sure?" He asks. In truth, he hopes you'd still say yes like before. Screw being World Champion, all he wanted now was to be a father.

"I've never been more sure. I know I can count on you and you can count on me. Though let's wait a bit, I don't want to be giving birth in the middle of the Dutch GP or something." You add, shuddering at the thought of being pregnant in the paddock.

"Baby Zandvoort Stroopwaffel Ricciardo wouldn't stand a chance in the world." Danny jokes before pulling you in a kiss.

“I don't know, I think they're going places.” You say after pulling away.

As Daniel helps the driver with the direction, you quip

"Glad that you've had time to roam around Nevada while I was at home packing up my things from what was our apartment. In Monaco, surrounded by our friends' pitiful looks."

"My friends. They're my friends. Besides, one of us had to stay here for six weeks. Otherwise they wouldn't let us get divorced." he says.

"Oh, there was no graph on the fucking forms for custody of racing drivers. And maybe someone should have looked more closely at the law before complaining. You were so reckless and cheesy for proposing in Vegas. And now we have to deal with this." You argue.

"Well I wasn't the one who wanted to break it off. That was all you, sweetheart." He fights back. You're about to make a jab at him for not using that competitiveness on the track.

The man in the driver's seat just sighs and points to a decal above the mirror. It says "no conflicts, please." You can't help it. You want your ex to scream, swear, so you know he's hurting.

But you try to be the bigger person. You and Danny had always been explosive. Before, it was passion. Stolen kisses on busy streets. Hands dangerously close to intimate places on Australian beaches (accompanied by down under jokes that never got old). Hotel room pillows under headboards. It was a miracle that you actually didn't have to file for custody. You guess it didn't take. The universe knew. And despite all the happy, messy, angry raw sex you had, the tests always came back negative. You chuckle at the sweets still in your carry-on, remembering that talk about naming your child after Zandvoort. You extend a pack to Daniel, a peace offering. Stroopwaffels were truly the answer to everything.

"I can't believe you remember to bring me these. I thought you hated me." He says, when he's not sinking his teeth into the syrup filled snack.

"Despite popular belief, I don't live to see your downfall." You reply. We both already saw it is what you think. And when you hear your "other half" say it back to you, you almost believe in soulmates again.

Daniel and you make a few stops. First you two look over the divorce forms with his lawyer. Then you make sure they are notary certified. And lastly, you head back to the courthouse. Nevada is colder than you remember. You shiver as he wraps an arm around you. That's how you walk in to the building. Lovers, soulmates, best friends. Anything but strangers. This time Daniel's the one that breaks when he sees you crying. His thumbs are gentle, wiping the tears from your cheeks with such love that you're almost ready to take it all back. To say "sike", to tear the forms in stripes and use them as confetti you kiss under. To momentarily forget and keep doing that until you forgive him. Instead you go through with it. Right outside when you're officially legally single, you can speak.

"I get why you had to get wasted yesterday. This hurts." you say.

"Wanna go out drinking together. You know, one last time? As a warranty I won't dial your number after the last call like I did back then." Daniel suggests.

"Lead the way, Vegas boy." you reply.

You were lost, figuratively and literally. Singapore was not a good place to wander off in. The 3 cap on your face is pulled down to your eyes. In the end you decide to go back for the race. To give Danny a chance. He's too emotional to talk to you in depth. He kisses you, and your hands grip his denim like shirt. Good luck is all you manage to say. The stars in the Singapore night are what you stare at for the majority of the race. Even with the fastest lap, you can sense it's not enough.

Your heart breaks when Daniel doesn't get out of the car immediately. You wish you could rush over to him, talk. Then you see his face and know. He's grieving. For his legacy, his future. There's no send off. You stay with him until late, until it's just you two and the photographer on the track. You can't do this right now. It's after your flight back that you ask. You deal the final blow to Daniel's life. You ask him for a divorce.

He posts on Instagram before he replies to you. You like the picture, and you pour out your feelings in the comments. You tell him you'll always be proud of him and his achievements. You tell him that you love him. You can't bear to say anything about the future. Because his future is no longer your concern.

He calls you in the middle of the night. He's tired of everyone, drunk, super sad and tells you

"I miss you." as if you don't know. It brings you no joy to hear this. You just ask him to pass the phone to someone else in the bar and you get his location.

"You know, for someone who makes wine, you are a light weight." you comment as you help him back into your shared apartment. You don't wonder where he's staying and whether he likes it. You're lying. Even as you try to settle on the couch, you can't relax. You go to your bed and watch Daniel snore softly. You carefully get in next to him. Sensing the dip in the mattress, he immediately pulls you into his arms.

"Did we fight? I'm sorry. Whatever I did, I didn't mean it. Don't go on the couch, please." He whispers, voice groggy from sleep. He had gotten so wasted he completely forgot he was in the process of divorcing you.

"I'm right here, Daniel. I'm not going anywhere." you say as you turn towards him. You relax into his chest. For the first time in 168 hours you get a decent sleep.

The next day, he just packs some leftover clothes into a suitcase and leaves for the airport. You see him in America and remember the talks with Christian. The faint mentions of Redbull ambassador duties in the States. Despite everything, he chose the job instead of you. Even retired, he was more loyal to the team, which didn't even give him more than 3 photos and a paragraph on Instagram.

Daniel said he'd reject it. Yet, the moment he was free of you, he took it. You had been the roadblock again, being the thing making his career go wrong. After years of being his talisman, you had turned to a bad omen. Of course it was best for you to leave while you can, sprint towards the exit.

You're in front of a bar entrance.

"Is this a good idea? I know we've both been drinking away the end of our relationship, and marriage. So maybe tonight, let's not." You say, suddenly getting cold feet.

"You're right. Do you wanna see the apartment? Make it seem like you're here for a regular vacation with your husband?" He hesitates on the last word, yet still uses it.

"It would be a shame to not see what Vegas residency has done to your taste." You reply.

"You'll love the slot machine in the kitchen, brings the whole place together." Danny jokes and you laugh and it's almost like the old times. He's missed this.

Bachelor Daniel is different than you'd expect. He cooks you both pasta and has one of those fridges with a water and ice dispenser. After dinner, he shows it to you, and it escalates into a chase, pelting frozen cubes at each other. He catches you easily, damn his F1 reflexes.

The ice from his hand is violent poured at the front of your shirt and you fucking moan. Daniel watches the droplets and realizes you're not wearing a bra. It happens in a flash. You're pinned against the counter, your ex husband grabbing another icecube from his fancy fridge. It melts on his tongue, your tongue as you kiss. Daniel's cold lips make you shiver and beg for more as they move from your neck to your chest.

"I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry." He mumbles, now between your thighs. You tell him that " his whole life isn't going to be enough time for him to apologize to you, but this is a good start.". When his tongue licks a stripe down your pussy, it's literally frozen.

"Baby, it's like Frosty the snowman is eating me out, stop." You say and he pulls away immediately. "I need you still, though. Can you fuck me, please. It's been months." You continue.

He's on his feet, towering over you, lips on your neck.

"I don't have a condom though. Is that okay?" Daniel asks.

"Damn, single for 6 weeks and already banging other people raw. You don't waste time,huh." You recoil, trying to move away from him.

"I haven't been with anyone else. Only you. " He confesses.

You're back in his arms, this time taking the lead. It's a different kiss, slow and gentle.

"Then tonight's your lucky night, lover boy. A hot divorcee in your area needs you." You joke as you lead him to bed. You want to be in control, at least with this. For once, you feel at ease again. You grind against him, slowly teasing you both. You sink down on his cock, and he doesn't miss the hiss you let out as you get used to his size again. You ride him, gradually getting closer to your orgasm. You speed up the pace, asking him to fuck you. As you come, you're begging, needing and pleading him to come for you, to finish inside of you. Who is he to deny you? Besides he doesn't think he can get himself to pull out. He too wants nothing more than to spill his seed inside of you, to fuck you through his orgasm. And he does so.

You're both spent, as he pulls away. His mouth is moving faster than his brain when he says "I love you.".

"Don't be cruel, Daniel. Don't talk to me about love when you don't know it." you respond and leave.

You can't leave your house. Even though you're the one that ended it. You're stuck inside, sad songs and ice cream galore. You know that eventually, it will stop hurting. The endless edits of Daniel to Pink Skies aren't helping. You wonder how he is. You wish he wore the hurt on his sleeve. He looked so happy. With Josh, or at the stupid Red Bull event. It's selfish, but you wish to see how these nights end. It's time for him to cry. Because there's no sign that you'd been his at all.

Daniel somehow managed to lose you twice. You don't come back. You just send a text asking to keep the ring on. He takes it as a sign. But all in him that believed evaporated later that week. You're back with your friends. Danny remembers you had mentioned that you'd be staying with them. You neglected to say anything about what was unfolding in front of his eyes via Instagram. A divorce party. They threw you a fucking rager. He analyzes every second of every video. A stranger that’s there worries him. The guy looks freakishly like him. And he keeps hiding his face, clearly not belonging there. The motherfucker is in a 3 piece suit for fuck’s sake. And keeps orbiting in your personal space.

Then it's almost radio silence. You barely post. There's a picture of you, 2 dinner plates ,glasses of water and a fancy restaurant. A number and a heart is all he gets to know you've moved on. Daniel was never good at math, but it doesn't take a genius to calculate when this happened. The day after your divorce party. Because of your new beau, now you only post the occasional selfie. Then the bomb drops. A video of you and his doppelganger. At a fucking gender reveal. And you're the one expecting. The caption reveals the due date. Daniel wants to be spiteful. He wants to know just how many days after you two last saw each other you were fucking others. He plugs in the day you're about to be due into a sketchy fertility calculation website. It's actually very detailed and indicates that you conceived on the last day of your ovulation. Which just happens to be the last night you saw him.

Daniel was about to have a kid. A tiny human being in whose life he would never be a part of. He can't help but think what would happen if he could turn back time. His heart tells him he'd somehow still manage to turn the situation into this.

#f1 x reader #f1 smut #f1 x you #f1 imagine #daniel ricciardo x reader #daniel ricciardo x you #daniel ricciardo smut #daniel ricciardo imagine #daniel ricciardo angst #i fear this is my magnum opus #the power of tumblr mutuals on my writing should be studied #my eyes hurt #6k fucking words of Danny #save me 6k Danny angst #mara and her inbox

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jgthirlwell · 1 year ago

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2023 Year In Review

This year once again I invited some friends and colleagues to reflect on 2023

JG Thirlwell Composer Foetus Xordox Manorexia Steroid Maximus Venture Bros Archer

2023 was an intense year. The year began with the premiere of my symphony for Alarm Will Sound and ended with guesting vocalizing with Dinosaur Jr on some Stooges classics. I completed the final season of Archer. Wrote a lot of material for new Xordox and Foetus albums. Released an album of string quartets and scored a Venture Bros movie. Worked with some great singers and premiered my Ensemble project in London. I spent several months traveling and set up a small studio in Melbourne for a bit. Road tripped through NZ with my partner, Dora. I played some excellent shows in London, Colchester, Auckland, Wellington, Melbourne and Sydney. I still woke up 5am in a panic on too many occasions. And I saw some great concerts.It was difficult to whittle down this list but here are a lot of albums I enjoyed in 2023, in no particular order.

Albums

Poil Ueda Yoshitsune (Dur et Doux) Poil Ueda - Poil Ueda (Dur et Doux) Genevieve Artadi Forever Forever (Brainfeeder) Knower - Knower Forever (Brainfeeder) Ultraphauna No No No No (Dur Et Doux) Gahlmm Break A Leg (GEIGER Grammofon) Oneohtrix Point Never Again (Warp) Lankum - False Lankum (Rough Trade) Evian Christ Revanchist (Warp) Chromb Cinq (Dur et Doux) Deskartes A Kant After Destruction (Cleopatra) Gazelle Twin Then You Run (Original Score) L’Rain I Killed Your Dog (Mexican Summer) Loraine James Gentle Confrontation (Hyperdub) Royal Blood Back To The Water Below (Warner) John Luther Adams Darkness and Scattered Light (Cold Blue) Catherine Christer Hennix Solo for Tamburium (Blank Forms) Rachel Fannan Bjork Impersonations (Instagram) Regal Worm Worm! (Quatermass) Wild Up Julius Eastman Vol. 3: If You’re So Smart, Why Aren’t You Rich? (New Amsterdam) PJ Harvey I Inside the Old Year Dying (Partisan) Poppy I Disagree (Sumerian) Sparks The Girl Is Crying In Her Latte (Island) Queens Of The Stone Age In Times New Roman (Matador) Time Wharp Spiro World (Leaving) Murderpact Ultraheaven (Bandcamp) RVG Brain Worms (Our Golden Friend) HMLTD - The Worm (Lucky Number) Catarina Barbieri - Myuthafoo (Editions Mego) Ligeti Quartet and Anna Meredith - NUC (Mercury KX) Mandy Indiana I’ve Seen a Way + EP(FireTalk) Kate NV WOW (RVNG) Kelly Moran Vesela EP (Warp) Kurws Powiez / Fascia (Korobushka) Fever Ray Radical Romantics (Mute) Netherlands Severance (Svart) Tim Hecker No Highs (Kranky) Bohemian Flesh Bohemian Flesh (Ojet) Pure Adult II (FatCat) Model/Actriz - Dogsbody (True Panther Sounds) Laurel Halo - Atlas (Awe) Water From Your Eyes - Everyones Crushed (Matador) Moritz Von Oswald - Silencio (tresor) REZZETT Meant Like This (Trilogy Tapes) Jess Johnson and Simon Ward 'Terminus' Virtual Reality exhibition at the Museum in Dunedin NZ.

Books

Naomi Klein Doppelganger Graham Rayman and Reuven Blau Rikers : An Oral History Thurston Moore Sonic Life Malcolm Gladwell The Bomber Mafia Tony Cohen Half Deaf, Completely Mad Brett Anderson Coal Black Morning Book Wesley Doyle Conform To Deform Primo Levi Survival in Auschwitz

Films + TV

Beef Barry Fargo The YouTube Effect Mutiny In Heaven Beau Is Afraid In The Court Of The Crimson King Oppenheimer

Concerts

01.28.23 Kodak Quartet performed at the Jack Studio Festival Event at The New School, performing a work by Khyam Allami and a stunning rendition of Ligeti’s String Quartet No 1. 02.21.23 Pure Adult opened for Gilla Band at Brooklyn Made and both were excellent! 02.22.23 Clown Core (featuring Louis Cole on drums and keys) Elsewhere in NYC. 03.02.23 Laurie Anderson performs at a drone event anchored by Lou’s guitar generating feedback drones, on the occasion of Lou Reed’s birthday .Other musicians joining the drone included Shazad Ismailey, Steven Bernstein, Stan Harrison, Briggan Krauss and more. 03.09.23 Michael Byron’s new work In One Second There Will Be A Thousand Plateaus Perhaps for two pianos and small orchestra featuring pianists Joseph Kubera and Steve Beck with Petr Kotik conducting members of the S.E.M. Ensemble. At Roulette Intermedium. 04.04.23 Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs brought the rock power and played an intense and triumphant show at Mercury Lounge to end their first US tour. 04.08.23 Amarcord Nino Rota, a reimagining of the Hal Willner’s Nino Rota tribute album, at Roulette Intermedium. 05.03.23 Genevieve Artadi played a grreat set at Public Records in Brooklyn to support her new album Forever Forever, with Louis Cole on drums. 05.27.23 Gloryhammer at Irving Plaza. Saw them in Melbourne too. 06.27.23 Sparks played a brilliant show at the Beacon Theater in NYC and I also caught them at Palais Theater in St Kilda, Melbourne, Australia on 10.26.23 07.04.23 75 Dollar Bill at Union Pool 08.20.23 BeatFox . Incredible luck to see this guy busking on Brick Lane. 08.21.23 The very wonderful Deerhoof at The Lafayette in London 08.22.23 clipping. played a killer show at Outernet in London 08.23.23 The incredible Poil Ueda from Lyon, France played in London at the Lexington + Lost Crowns 08.24.23 Swans played an epic set at The Troxy in Londo 09.24.23 TENGGER played an amazing set at the Art Gallery of NSW. 10.06.23 Fuji|||||||||||ta at Tempo Rubato in Melbourne, Australia. 10.07.23 RVG played a killer show to a packed house at Northcote Theatre in Melbourne, Australia 10.17.23 Chloe Sobek at Make It Up Club in Melbourne Australia. 10.21.23 Paul McCartney at Marvel Stadium in Melbourne Australia 10.28.23 Sarah Mary Chadwick at Wesley Anns as part of The 86 Super Saturday Festival 10.28.23 Party Dozen from Sydney played a great set at The 86 Super Saturday Festival in Melbourne Australia. 11.10.23 Devon Townsend played a beautiful, brutal and ecsatic show in Melbourne Australia at the Forum. 12.06.23 Ashley Bathgate and percussion sextet Mantra Percussion performed Matt McBane’s Topography at National Sawdust in NYC.

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Michel Langevin (aka Away/Voïvod)

My coups de coeur in 2023: TV Series: The Last of Us Music: The Damned - Darkadelic Godflesh - Purge Crown Lands - Fearless Gong - Unending Ascending Soft Machine - Other Doors Best show: KISS End of the Road World Tour in Montréal on Nov 18th Best Moments: -Recording and touring the new Voïvod album, Morgöth Tales, celebrating the 40th anniversary of the band -Celebrating my 60th birthday on stage in Lyon on the Voïvod/Testament Euro tour -Jason Newsted joining the band on stage in Fort Lauderdale, USA -Eric Forrest joining the band on stage at Hellfest, France

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Lydia Lunch

https://www.lydia-lunch.net/

“Time-one long second that goes on forever” So enjoy it motherfuckers!

BOOKS

Love the World or Get Killed Trying Alvina Chamberland Mother Howl Craig Clevenger Nein, Nein, Nein! : One Man's Tale of Depression, Psychic Torment, and a Bus Tour of the Holocaust Jerry Stahl Mystic Debris Justin Gradin Niagara, NY Ric Royers The Pale-Faced Lie : A True Story David Crow The Conspiracy Against the Human Race: A Contrivance of Horror Thomas Ligotti The Field: The Quest for the Secret Force of the Universe Lynne McTaggert Yuval Noah Harari Box Set (Sapiens, Homo Deus, 21 Lessons for 21st Century) Season of the Witch Cathi Unsworth Every word John Tottenham utters or writes

TOURS with Sylvia Black & Gregg Foreman, Joseph Keckler, Marc Hurtado (tribute to Alan Vega & Suicide), Ian White, Kevin Shea (Sinister Impulse), Tim Dahl & Matt Nelson (Murderous Again)

Workshop & Performance Badass Babes of Burlesque w Rita D’Albert Zebulon LA

Workshop at the University of New Mexico thanks to Greg Moss

Reading with Zoe Hansen & Ron Athey at The Philosophical Research Center LA Reading with Eugene Robinson Makeout Room SF

Finishing the documentary with Jasmine Hirst Artists - Depression, Anxiety, and Rage and premiering it in Italy

Meeting butuh Queen Azumi OE and discussing up coming performances together with Tim Dahl

Completing the 233 episode of The Lydian Spin with Tim Dahl

FUN

Nights in London & Brighton spent with Nick Soulsby, Cathi Unsworth, Billy Chainsaw, Chris Bohn, Jack Sargeant, Pam Hogg,

Tina Kit (opened for my Suicide tribute in London & Brighton) best new band of suited and booted bad boys

Squired around Europe by Sebastien Greppo, a man like no other - who so lightens my burden…

Watching every episode of The Dark Side of The Ring with Kevin Shea

Training squirrels, levitating objects, saving lives, screaming into the void.

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Mike Berdan

(Uniform) https://uniform-nyc.com/

ALBUMS

Lankum - False Lankum

Surgeon - Crash Recoil

Ryuichi Sakamoto - 12

Fellwinter - The Dawn Of Winter

Abysmal Lord - Bestiary Of Immortal Hunger

Death Kneel - Dawn Simulation

Shit And Shine - 2222 And Airport

Carnivorous Bells - Room Above All

Agonal Lust - Mankind Is A Talisman Of Misfortune

Godflesh - Purge

FIRST-TIME READS

A History Of Violence (1973) - David Cotner

Someone Who Isn't Me - Geoff Rickly

Your Dreams - Thomas Moore 4. In A Lonely Place - Karl Edward Wagner

Burn You The Fuck Alive - B.R. Yeager

The Holy Day - Christopher Norris

A Collapse Of Horses - Brian Evenson

The Devil Thinks I'm Pretty - Charlene Elsby

Let's Go Play At The Adams' - Mendal W. Johnson

Counterillumination - Audrey Szasz

MOVIES

Godzilla Minus One

CIGARS

Cohiba Magico Maduro Petit Robusto

God Of Fire Serie B Double Robusto

Padron Family Reserve no. 95 Maduro Petit Gordo

El Pulpo Toro

Tatuaje Reserva J21 Broadleaf Robusto

Atabey Benditos Double Corona

Romeo y Julieta Línea de Oro Nobles

H. Upmann Half Corona

Foundation Cigars The Tabernacle Robusto

OpusX Eye Of The Shark

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Mario Diaz deLeon (composer, Luminous Vault, Bloodmist)

ALBUMS Evita Manji - Spandrel? Eartheater - Powders Slowspin - Talisman Marta DePascalis - Sky Flesh Kalia Vandever - We Fell in Turn Eraldo Bernocchi + Hoshiko Yamane - Sabi JakoJako - Verve Surgeon - Crash Recoil Cavalera - Morbid Visions / Bestial Devastation Bell Witch - The Clandestine Gate Steve Lehman + Orchestre National de Jazz - Ex Machina

SONGS Kelly Moran - Vesela Vines - I Don’t Mind Cybotron - Maintain Barker - Birmingham Screwdriver VMO - Supergaze Omar Hisham - Adhan (Be Heaven)

EVENTS New Firmament: MONAD - Roulette Peter Evans: Being and Becoming - Roulette Anna Sperber: Amplifier - Roulette 20 Years of Shinkoyo - Roulette Anthony Braxton + Wolf Eyes - Pioneer Works Caterina Barbieri - Pioneer Works Felipe Lara + Claire Chase + Esperanza Spaulding + NY Phil TAK Ensemble: Swoonfest - The Clemente Center Kayo Dot: Choirs of The Eye - MilkBoy Cecilia Vicuña / Raven Chacon - The Poetry Project Krallice / Indocrithere / Geryon / Ocrilim - Saint Vitus Cavalera: Morbid Devastation - Irving Plaza Hulder / Blackbraid / Aeviterne - Le Poisson Rouge Eartheater / Concrete Husband - Elsewhere

BOOKS Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz - An Indigenous Peoples History of the United States

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Alexander Tucker (Microcorps)

I started off the year by releasing a project very close to my heart: Fifth Continent, a collaboration with the late Keith Collins, partner and collaborator of film maker and artist Derek Jarman. The album was partially recorded in Jarman’s cottage in the desert-like landscape of Dungeness, on the South East coastline of Kent, in the UK, with elements constructed from Collins own spoken word pieces, and environmental recordings. The album was released on James Ginzberg’s Subtext label, and we also produced Fifth Quarter, an anthology publication of writing, recollections, photography and newly commissioned artworks about Jarman, Collins and Dungeness.

Although I probably made more music than usual this year, and had a greater focus than ever on the various projects I have underway, 2023 felt like a weird and often frustrating year for me and music. About five years ago I set about teaching myself modular systems, experimenting, and recording the results as I went along. This culminated in a new solo guise primarily for electronics and the synthesis of voice and acoustic instruments, MICROCORPS (the debut album Xmit came out on Alter records in 2021). Using these systems is at the same time liberating and incredibly frustrating. For a while this year nothing felt good enough: I could feel the potential of my ideas glimmering in the distance but was unable to catch up with them. I decided to take a short break from the modular, and focused upon compositions for cello, saxophone, and clarinet. But the pull of electronics is never far, so I began processing these recordings, using granular synthesis to stretch, mutate and reorganise the audio into new pieces. As soon as you want more from your practice and yourself, things can become more laborious - it’s difficult to be in the moment and focus on what’s in front of you. I used to be happy with the immediate effects I produced, but I think this is being replaced by a different approach, something more considered, which is exciting and, in some ways, sobering - even if the results are far from what you would describe as sober. I’m also so lucky to have many friends and fellow artists around me to offer help and suggestions, to whom I’m eternally grateful. As R.Crumb says, “Keep on truckin”.

Music I dug this year: Godflesh - Purge (Avalanche Recordings) Rắn Cạp Đuôi - *1 (nhạc_gay) Mun Sing - Inflatable Gravestone (Planet Mu) RS Tangent - When A Worm Wears A Wig (The Trilogy Tapes) Arnold Dreybaltt And The Orchestra Of Excited Strings - Resolve (Drag City) Elvin Brandhi and Lord Spikeheart - Drunken Love (Hakuna Kulala) Mark Fell and Will Guthrie - Infoldings / Diffractions (NAKID) Afrorack - The Afrorack (Hakuna Kulala) Kinn - Dogtooth (First Light Records) General Magic - Nein Aber Ja (GoTo Records)

Live shows: Emptyset - Village Underground Elvin Brandhi - IKLECTIK Mick Harris/FRET – Downwards’ 30th, Centrala Mun Sing, Crys Cole, Penelope Trappes - Boundaries Festival Maxwell Sterling - Cafe OTO Pole - EartH Nik Colk Void - Too many to count! Phew - Cafe OTO Residency Acid Horse Festival Devo - Hammersmith Apollo Kinn - New Cross Road Baptist Church

Comics: In 2023 I produced a new issue of my ongoing oblique and nonlinear comic series, Entity Reunion. For this issue I drew upon my love of HP Lovecraft, using the repetition of the comic format to peel back layers of the everyday to reveal omnipotent entities underlying all reality. The viewpoint of each page is from the point of view of the protagonists, who hold an electronic device, photographing their surroundings only to capture the blurred features of some insidious face. There are also references to Lovecraft’s own fictional grimoire the Necrononmicon. I wanted that dreamlike sensation of being the protagonists of the dream but also viewing yourself as separate entity.

Books: I read nearly all of Patrica Highsmith’s ‘Ripley’ books, a bunch of John Le Carré novels, Mark Kermode’s book on The Exorcist and I’m currently working my way through the spy novelist Eric Ambler’s books. I also re-read Bruce Robinson’s analysis on Jack the Ripper and Victorian society, ‘They All Love Jack’.

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Tom Chiu (composer, Flux Quartet)

2 0 2 3 IN REVIEW

Albums Worth Exploring (including a couple entries from 2022 that I discovered late)

Bar Italia Tracey Denim (Matador)

Blur Ballad Of Darren (Parlophone)

Bush Tetras They Live In My Head (Wharf Cat)

Death Valley Girls Islands In The Sky (Suicide Squeeze)

Dummy Mono Retriever (Sub Pop)

Duster Remote Echoes (Numero Group)

En Attendant Ana Principia (Trouble In Mind)

Everything But the Girl Fuse (Verve)

Horse Lords Comradely Objects (RVNG)

Kelela Raven (Warp)

Lael Neale Star Eaters Delight (Sub Pop)

Lana Del Rey Do You Know That There's A Tunnel Under Ocean Blvd (Interscope)

Lewsberg Out And About (12XU)

Munya Jardin (Luminelle)

Slowdive Everything Is Alive (Dead Oceans)

Sweeping Promises Good Living Is Coming For You (Sub Pop)

Wednesday Rat Saw God (Dead Oceans)

Yo La Tengo This Stupid World (Matador)

Night at the Movies

Poor Things Past Lives Monster

Recurring Personal FAVES

FAVE Sandwich: Mekelburg's Clinton Hill, Brooklyn

FAVE Burger: Two8Two Bar & Burger, Boerum Hill, Brooklyn

FAVE Craft Beer Brewery Omnipollo (Sweden), brewed at Twelve Percent Beer Project, North Haven, CT

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Pierre Cerrato

Producer - Editor Floyd County Productions (Archer)

Favorite Movies/TV Archer Season 14 The Last of Us Gen V Beef This Fool Season 2 Fargo Season 5 Primo (Amazon Prime Show) The Bear Season 2 Episode Barry Season 4

Favorite Records I listened to a lot of music but these were in constant rotation. Some are from last year but what is time and who cares?

Boris/Uniform - Bright New Disease (2023) Birds in Row - Gris Klein (2022) Fleshwater - We Are Not Here to Be Loved (2022) Asunojokei - Islands (2022) Everything But the Girl - Fuse (2023) Night Owls - Versions (2022)

Honorable mention Boris - Feedbacker (2003) this was my introduction to Boris. This year is the 20 year anniversary of its release. Roberto Carlos Lange shared it with me one day while at work. He said it was something he thought I would like. Blew my mind and I have been a fan ever since.

Favorite Concerts The Cure - State Farm Arena - also saw The Cure at Riot Fest but this was better of the 2. I regret not going to Night 2 in Atlanta because they played Disintegration. H20 - Riot Fest 2023 Set Fleshwater - Riot Fest 2023 Set Future Islands - Shakey Knees 2023 Set The Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Shakey Knees 2023 Set Converge / Brutus - The Masquerade Drain / Drug Church - The Masquerade Donny Benet - Terminal West Idles - Re:Set 2023 Set

Favorite Food

MF Sushi - Atlanta - went twice and each time it was a special occasion. Heirloom Market BBQ - Atlanta - best BBQ in my neck of the woods. The Aviary - Chicago - specialty cocktails with spectacular presentation. Cafe Tola - Chicago - best empanadas i've ever had in my life. Selva Negra - Miami - a solid contender for Nica food. Jaguar - Miami - great vibes, service and ceviche! No Hard Feelings - Chatanooga - great cocktails and vibes!

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Zachary Lipez

(editor at large of Creem Magazine, writer, singer of Publicist UK)

Music I made a (very) long list on my wildly popular blog, Abundant Living. But, for kicks and with the understanding that maybe you don’t feel like reading (or subscribing to) my wildly popular blog, here’s some stuff I included and some stuff I forgot (with particular attention paid to albums I think might be of particular interest to JG friends/fans but which may have slipped through the radar) (meaning: I mainly put the stuff that wasn’t on too many other lists). Fatboi Sharif Decay (Backwoodz) Skech185 He Left Nothing for the Swim Back (Backwoodz) Zohra Murder In The Temple (American Dreams) The Native Cats The Way On Is The Way Off (Chapel) Geese 3D Country (Partisan) Gold Dime No More Blue Skies (No-Gold) Algiers Shook (Matador) EXEK The Map and the Territory (Foreign) Skinhead Everything Was Beautiful and Nothing Hurt (Closed Casket) Débruit & Alsarah Aljawal الجوال (Soundway) Fairytale Shooting Star (Toxic State) Among The Rocks and Roots Pariah (Cacophonous Revival) Full of Hell, Nothing When No Birds Sang (Closed Casket) Uniform & Boris Bright New Disease (Sacred Bones) Sleaford Mods UK Grim (Rough Trade) Money&King Act Unnaturally (self released) Blu Anxxiety Morbid Now, Morbid Later (Toxic State) Nana Benz du Togo AGO (Komos) Citric Dummies Zen and the Arcade of Beating Your Ass (Feel It) Ghösh Prismassive (Ramp Local) Peasdez Fenomenologia Del Espiritu Agonico: De La Existencia Sordida Al Pendulo De La Nada (SPHC) Upper Wilds Jupiter (Thrill Jockey) Death Valley Girls Islands In The Sky (Suicide Squeeze) Raphael Rogiński Talán Body Void Atrocity Machine (Prosthetic) Feeling Figures Migration Magic (Perennial) Ryan Davis & the Roadhouse Band Dancing on the Edge (Sophomore Lounge) Nosaj from New Kingdom & steel tipped dove House of Disorder (Fused Arrow Records) mclusky unpopular parts of a pig / the digger you deep (self released) Advertisement Escorts (Feel It) King Vision Ultra Shook World (hosted by Algiers) (PTP)

Live Shows that Stand Out In My Memory Moor Mother/Armand Hammer/The Caretaker/Raphael Roginski for the Unsound Fest at Lincoln Center (I covered this for The Quietus if yr interested) Sleaford Mods at Coachella (profiled them for CREEM) Lydia Lunch/Zohra at St.Vitus Lydia Lunch Retrovirus last American show ever (?) at TV Eye Various skinhead/nü oï bands at the Monarch/TV Eye etc. with Liberty & Justice being the standout Son Rompe Pera at TV Eye Chisel (the Ted Leo outfit, not the neo-bootboy band with the “the” in their name) at LPR

BOOKS My phone has pretty much eliminated my ability to read. I did read the first 100 pages of more books than I care to admit. I finally finished Mark Andrews’ Paint My Name In Black and Gold: The Rise of the Sisters of Mercy and I recommend it if, like me, you think The Sisters of Mercy are better than the Beatles (or whatever inane comparison annoys your friends the most). I also discovered Gene Wolfe and read the first book in the Book of the New Sun trilogy. Otherwise, it’s pretty much been just using Louise Glück poetry as inspiration to write terrible versions of Louise Glück poetry.

TV Doom Patrol Pokerface Rick and Morty (idc idc idc idc) HasanAbi twitch stream A ludicrous amount of Britbox mysteries and—passively, yes, but not without a fair amount of emotional investment—various Real Housewife shows/spinoffs

Movies Didn’t watch any new movies this year but I did have a lot of youtube videos playing in the background while I did other things, and sometimes those videos would be three hour long screeds about what was wrong with a number of movies I’d never heard of. So I feel like I got the gist.

LIFE Converted to Islam and married Zohra in January. Both choices have proven to be rewarding as all hell. Cashing in my “as a Jew I…” argument card—while simultaneously being too new a Muslim to reasonably claim either special knowledge and/or marginalization status—has really fucked with my ability to be self-righteous online. But the love that Zohra and her family have shown me has more than made up for my newfound inability to really wipe the floor with a motherfucker in the instagram comments. In fact, I liked marrying Zohra so much that I did it again in December (first time was a religious ceremony, the second time was our rendering to Caesar etc). If you know me/us and weren’t invited to either that’s because essentially no one was. As my parents couldn’t attend (on account of being dead) I didn’t really see the point of a big party. That was perhaps selfish. We love you (probably) and will have some sort of to-do in 2024.

Otherwise, I am still very much enjoying working for the new CREEM Magazine (please subscribe) and doing my newsletter (please subscribe). Musically, I lived vicariously through Zohra and the release of her first solo album. Murder In The Temple, with amazing production by Ben Greenberg and contributions by Lydia Lunch, is a synthesis of so many of Zohra’s obsessions. It’s unlike anything in the post-goth-dark-whatever sphere and I can’t express how proud I am of it and her. As for my music, I did some neat-o Scientists-esque stuff with Telematics (Sohrab Habibion, Robert Austin, and Alexis Fleisig) and Zohra and I did a Sheer Terror cover in the style of Tindersticks to commemorate Paul Bearer’s marriage. Also, I’m pretty sure my most successful band (Publicist UK) got dropped by our label (apparently taking eight years to finish a demo is a long time) so get at me if you have a low-to-mid tier label and want to put out an album of eight minute gothic metal songs with zero mosh parts, about an aging hipster loving his wife and cats and missing his dead mom and dad. C’mon, do it. You’d be printing money.

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Jim Siegel

Vivid Oblivion

Records And Other Things I Liked In 2023

Lankum - False Lankum (Rough Trade)

Milford Graves with Arthur Doyle and Hugh Glover - Children Of The Forest (Black Editions Archive)

Nakibembe Embaire Group (Nyege Nyege Tapes)

Henning Christiansen - Mediterranean Music-Water (Holidays)

Alain Goraguer - La Planete Sauvage (Expanded) (Decca)

Phill Niblock - Boston III (Alga Marghen)

Sam McLoughlin & David Chatton Barker - The Heavenly Realms (Folklore Tapes)

Svitlana Nianio & Tom James Scott - Eye Of The Sea (Skire)

Half Mortal - Creature Of Christ (Hospital Productions)

Pharoah Sanders - Pharoah box (Luaka Bop)

Ragnar Johnson & Jessica Mayer - Spirit Cry Flutes And Bamboo Jews Harps From Papua New Guinea (Ideologic Organ)

PJ Harvey - I Inside The Old Year Dying (Partisan)

Jana Winderen - The Blue Beyond (Touch)

Rezzett - Meant Like This (The Trilogy Tapes)

Arsenije Jovanovic - Sailboat Galiola Nuria's Unfinished Logbook (Pentiments)

Only Voices Vol. 1 + 2 (DDS)

Wounded Son - Pain Is All I Have For You (Hospital Productions)

Various - Cease & Resist: Sonic Subversion & Anarcho Punk In The UK 1979-1986 (Optimo Music)

Umeko Ando - Upopo Sanke (Pingipung)

Philip Jeck & Chris Watson - Oxmardyke (Touch)

Lori Vambe - Space-Time Dreamtime: The Four Dimensional Music Of Lori Vambe (Strut)

Mozart Estate - Pop-Up! Ker-Ching! And The Possibilities Of Modern Shopping (West Midlands)

Sandwell District - Feed Forward box (The Point Of Departure)

Japan Blues - Japan Blues Meets The Dengie Hundred (DDS)

Various - A Web Of Braided Willow - The Folklore Of The Wickerman (Folklore Tapes)

Surgeon - Crash Recoil (Tresor)

Mark Glynne And Bart Zwier - Home Comfort (La Scie Doree)

Ariel Kalma - French Archives Vol. III 1964-89 (Black Sweat)

Marginal Consort - 06 06 16 (St Elisabeth Kirche, Berlin) (901 Editions)

Brendan Perry - Eye Of The Hunter / Live At The I.C.A (4AD)

The Complete Obscure Records Collection box (Dialogo)

Various - Avant Garde 21xCD Box (Deutsche Grammophon)

Bill Nace Live at Public Records, December 2023

The Elephant 6 Recording Co. Documentary

Squaring The Circle - The Story Of Hipgnosis

Shame And Dignity with Stanley Schtinter and Sukhdev Sandhu at UnionDocs, NY November 2023

Godland, dir. Hlynur Palmason

Wawa Pretzel w/ Melted Cheese (Sandwich)

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Simon Karis

(CEO of Nice Music, recording artist)

Okay so fave releases of 2023

Absurd Cosmos Late Nite 'These Magic Clothes Don't Play Themselves' (Reseach Laboratories) Actress 'LXXXVIII' (Ninja Tune) Armand Hammer 'We Buy Diabetic Test Strips' (Fat Possum) Danny Brown 'Quaranta' (Warp) De-Bons-En-Pierre 'Card Short Of A Full Deck' (Dark Entries) Evian Christ 'Revanchist' (Warp) Eyes Of The Amaryllis 'Perceptible To Everyone' (Horn Of Plenty) Francis Plagne 'Into Closed Air' (Bison) Francis Plagne 'Udge' (Horn Of Plenty) Giuseppe Ielasi 'Down On Darkened Meetings' (Black Truffle) HHOST 'Windswept Italics' (Altered States Tapes) HHOST 'Veil' (Snail Editions) JPEGMAFIA & Danny Brown 'Scaring The Hoes' (no label) Kassell Jaeger 'Shifted In Dreams' (Shelter Press) Khanate 'To Be Cruel' (Sacred Bones) Klein 'Doubt'/'Normani's Torment'/'STORM' (no label) L'Rain 'I Killed Your Dog' (Mexican Summer) Land's Air 'Land's Air' (Tone List) Locust 'The First Cause' (Mysteries Of The Deep) Low Flung 'The Wheel' (Snail Editions) Matt Harkin 'The Door Knocker' (no label) Nick Ashwood 'Inside The Body Of A Wave' (no label) Nuno Loureiro 'Lua Onus' (Super Pang) Patten 'Mirage FM' (555-5555) Pissed Jeans 'No Convenient Apocalypse' (Sub Pop) Princess Nokia 'I Love You But This Is Goodbye' (Arista) Red Wine & Sugar 'Turkish Coffee & Twice Baked Potatoes' (Chocolate Monk) Rezzett 'Meant Like This' (The Trilogy Tapes) Richard Youngs 'Modern Sorrow' (Black Truffle) Rory J S 'P' (no label) Rrose 'Please Touch' (Eaux) Solo Andata 'Slip Casting' (12k) WPH 'III' (no label) 100 Gecs '10,000 Gecs' (Dog Show/Atlantic)

fave back catalogue listens that made sense in 2023 Armand Hammer & The Alchemist 'Haram' (Backwoodz Studioz) Beherit 'H418ov21.C' (Spinefarm) Bernard Parmegiani 'De Natura Sonorum' (INA-GRM) Bowery Electric 'Beat' (Kranky) Charalambides 'Exile' (Kranky) Def Leppard 'Hysteria' (Mercury) Elastica 'Elastica' (Deceptive/Geffen) Elucid 'I Told Bessie' (Backwoodz Studioz) Emptyset 'Demiurge' (Subtext) Emptyset 'Recur' (Raster-Noton) Hematic Sunsets 'Musik Aus Dem Aroma Club' (Klang Der Festung) Joey Beltram 'Classics' (R&S) Ka 'Languish Arts' (Iron Works) Kim Cascone 'Cathodeflower' (Ritornell) The Kinks 'Lola Vs Powerman And The Moneygoround Part One' (Reprise/Pye) Kreator 'Terrible Certainty' (Noise International) Lol Coxhill & Morgan Fisher 'Slow Music' (Pipe/Aguirre) Low 'Hey What' (Sub Pop) Marsfield 'The Towering Sky' (Faraway Press) Massive Attack 'Mezzanine' (Virgin) Matt Harkin 'Sanctuary 1, 2015-2016' (Hobbies Galore) Maurizio Bianchi 'Endometrio' (no label/Dais) Moodymann 'Mahogany Brown' (Peacefrog) Moor Mother & billy woods 'Brass' (Backwoodz Studioz) Nearly God 'Nearly God' (4th & Broadway) Nightcrawlers '2031 AD' (no label) Richard Youngs 'Beyond The Valley Of The Ultrahits' (Sonic Oyster) Rita Revell 'I Had A Very Bad Time!' (Happy Endin') Roc Marciano 'Reloaded' (Decon) Seine Trance-Parenz Fredi Alberti 'Klaenge Aus Dem Engelsraum (Die Verdunklung Der Sonne Und Des Mondes)' (Scribble Art) Simbiosi 'Elements' (Werkdiscs) Suede 'Dog Man Star' (Nude) Valerio Tricoli 'Say Goodbye To The Wind' (Shelter Press) 100 Gecs '1000 Gecs' (Dog Show)

fave melbourne/naarm restaurants in 2023

Khabbay (Indian/Pakistani, Carlton) Laksa Village (Malaysian/Chinese, Donvale) Cinger Biang Biang (Dolan/Uyghur/Chinese, Carlton) Lim Kopi (Malaysian, Naarm/Melbourne CBD) Raya (South East Asian desserts, Naarm/Melbourne CBD) Taste Hunan (Hunan/Sichuan/Chinese, Naarm/Melbourne, CBD) Laksa House (Malaysian, Naarm/Melbourne, CBD)

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Brendon Randall-Myers

(composer, Scarcity, Marateck, Glenn Branca Ensemble)

If 2022 was the Return of the Show and the Return of Travel, 2023 was about Building Stability (i.e. making my teaching studio a primary income source), Hunkering Down to Finish Two Albums, and Re-Learning How to Be a Human Being. I also played a bunch of cool shows with Dither (collabs w/ Carla Kilhlstedt, Lee Ranaldo/Brian Chase, Amirtha Kidambi, AJ Santillan, and Laurie Spiegel; playing Electric Counterpoint on GFA), a couple fun Scarcity shows (playing with Liturgy, improvising on graphic scores by Anthony Hawley) and did some performances with Whimbrels and Contemporaneous.

These were albums I enjoyed (incessantly) at some point during 2023 that were mostly - but not exclusively - also released in 2023.

Agriculture - Agriculture Armand Hammer - We Buy Diabetic Test Strips Arnold Dreyblatt - Resolve Big Brave - Nature Morte Blackbraid - Blackbraid II Bummer - Dead Horse Caroline Polachek - Desire, I Want to Turn Into You goat (JP) - Joy in Fear Goldfeather - Change JPEGMAFIA & Danny Brown - SCARING THE HOES Jute Gyte - Unus Mundus Patet KEN Mode - VOID Killing Joke - Night Time Krallice - Mass Cathexis 2 - The Kinetic Infinite Model/Actriz - Dogsbody Modern Nature - How to Live Nabihah Iqbal - Dreamer Neil Young - Greatest Hits Oren Ambarchi - Shebang Pink Pantheress - Heaven knows The Prodigy - The Fat of the Land Rid Of Me - Traveling Slowspin - Talisman Smashing Pumpkins - Siamese Dream Swans - The Beggar Trauma Bond - Winter’s Light Tristan Kasten-Krause and Jessica Pavone - Images of One Victory Over the Sun - Dance You Monster To My Soft Song! Yaeji - With A Hammer

Here were some shows I attended:

Wolf Eyes + Raven Chacon @Union Pool Liturgy @TV Eye Gamelan Dharma Swara, Ridgewood Presbyterian Church Moor Mother @Merkin Hall Object Collection @The Brick Theater Spectral Wound @Saint Vitus Pyrrhon + Barrsheadahl @Saint Vitus The Smile @Forest Hills Stadium Krallice @Saint Vitus Mediaqueer @Windjammer Sarah Hennies + Tristan Kasten-Krause @Issue Project Room Peter and the Wolf @Guggenheim Model/Actriz @Music Hall of Williamsburg

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Grace Bergere

(songwriter / singer / performer)

This year was full of firsts for me!

Definitely the most musically eventful year of my life to date. I went on my first tour playing bass with my great friends in COP/OUT, supporting Days n' Daze (A band I'd been listening to for years as a young punk kid.) I immediately realized touring is really all I want to do. I also got to tour alongside Subhumans in Cop/Out. Meeting them and getting to know them was mind expanding. They were all kind and humble thoughtful individuals, completely down to earth and engaged with everyone they spoke to. Every night across the midwest they brought the crowd to a cathartic screaming euphoric mess. Working with COP/OUT, whose message is so clear; to be good to each other, question everything even when it means swimming upstream with every bit of strength you have, filled me with hope. Playing on that tour with them, and watching Subhumans every night reminded me the power of music to affect real social change which is something I believed to have been lost in recent years. I met my great friend Jessica Mills on that tour and we still talk all the time.

I also started playing guitar in The Art Gray Noizz Quintet. One of my longtime favorite bands (that my very talented cool boyfriend happens to play bass in.) We went all across the West Coast, landing in Las Vegas. Playing with them has demanded I advance as a guitarist, stepping into Andrea Sicco's shoes. Andrea is a complete beast of a musician and all of his musical projects are awesome. Check out MOVIE MOVIE, his most recent project.

I also joined Crazy And The Brains on second guitar. They’re a super fun high energy punk band. I love being around such positive fun loving musicians and watching them bounce around while I do my best to keep up.

I recently finished recording my album at HOBO SOUND in Hoboken by James Frazee. The time and effort it took over the several years since I started, was at times grueling. But James never stopped caring or checked out. He helped me shape this album into something I am truly proud of, along with Richard Dev Greene, one of the first people to ever believe in my music. I am so grateful to both of them.

I started spending time with Victoria and Kay of Puzzled Panther. They quickly have become two of my best friends. It is so meaningful for me to have found such badass, driven young women to share a dream with. Puzzled Panther is raw and hypnotizing. They have a unique strong hold over their audience and every show of theirs I’ve been to has been fantastic. Victoria has joined me a few times on a song at my shows, and every time I believe has been one of the strongest points in my set.

I Met Eugene Hutz of Gogol Bordello (the first huge band I ever went to see as a young teenager.) He will be releasing my upcoming single and video for “Come And Go” on his label Casa Gogol Records in early 2024.

I just played the biggest show I’ve ever played with my solo project that plays under my name. We were on a bill with Gogol Bordello and JON SPENCER (Also one of my favorite artists.) Being on that stage standing there in front of more people I’ve ever seen in an audience from that vantage point, I felt like every second of my life was leading to that moment. Each song brought me back to the time in my life when Id written it and it felt very much like watching my life projected in front of me. It was indescribably satisfying to be on that stage. Later, in the audience, I screamed along to Gogol and watched my mom dance to songs she'd heard me blasting through the house as a kid, and felt just as moved by them as I did as a young teenager the first time I saw them.

I am so grateful to be working with Eugene. He is kind and thoughtful in his feedback and hugely supportive of me and my dreams.

I will be playing New Years Eve with the Art Gray Noizz Quintet before Kid Congo Powers and The Pink Monkey Birds !!

This last week I can honestly say, has been the best of my life to date. Like looking out over a valley after climbing for years.

BEST SHOWS

(other than the ones I was lucky enough to play at listed above)

RICHARD DAWSON

I got to see Richard Dawson three whole times!!! it was his first US appearance. He is a completely unique force. I’ve never seen such a captivated crowd. we all cried and screamed along with him.

PIGS X 7

One of those times he was playing with Pigs x7. They quickly became another favorite band of mine despite having severe technical difficulties. it was actually kind of a highlight because their front man just started joking around and had the entire audience laughing along with him and talking for about 10 minutes. I got to see them two other times that went perfectly. What a band..

JON SPENCER AND THE HIT MAKERS

I saw them at TV Eye. I had been able to squeeze myself into the DJ booth for their set. They hammered away into some kind of magical hypnosis that made me feel like I'd taken MDMA. (I had not.) I had to lean against a wall to keep my balance. They played with Licks, a badass 60s garage rock inspired band fronted by my friend Skunk.

LYDIA LUNCH RETROVIRUS

Also driving and hypnotic and loud as hell. I was left with a similar feeling of having been dosed with something at all of their shows…

JOSEPH KECKLER

The first time I saw Joseph perform was at TV eye with Lydia Lunch. He’s completely unique. He writes gorgeous songs that he sings in an incomprehensibly wide range, sometimes in languages that he has invented himself! His seamlessly mixes humor with honest beautiful songwriting.

SONGS I LISTENED TO A BILLION TIMES THIS YEAR.

ART GRAY NOIZZ QUINTET- Lie Come True JOSEPH KECKLER- The Ride JON SPENCER AND THE HIT MAKERS- Death Ray GOGOL BORDELLO- Shot Of Solidaritine PUZZLED PANTHER- Smoke And The Mirrors We Broke PIGSX 7 - Reducer ARCHERS OF LOAF- Banging On a Dead Drum

OLDER HITS THAT WERE NEW TO ME

LAURIE ANDERSON- Poison POISON GIRLS- Fear Of Freedom CULTURE SHOCK- Things To Do CAPTAIN BEEFHEART- Tropical Hot Dog WARREN ZEVON- Desperados Under The Eves MINNIE RIPERTON- Les Fleurs BOBBY GENTRY - Ode To Billy Joe TOWNES VAN ZANDT- Highway Kind

BOOKS

Joseph Keckler- Dragon at the edge of a flat world. Mark Lanegan- Sing Backwards and Weep Miriam Toews- Fight Night

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Marc Urselli

producer / engineer / sound designer

I want to thank JG Thirlwell for inviting me to submit my 2023 Year in Review. I had never done one of these before and it's been a fun challenge to go through my calendar and social media to remember and realize how much I was able to pack into this year! Selecting and writing down all of these things also helped me further grasp and understand how tremendously privileged and lucky I am to be able to do what I love all year around, year after year, and to live my life to the fullest and according to my own wishes and my own design. I don't take this lightly and I don't take it for granted. I am very aware that it comes from hard work, limitless passion and unweavery dedication, not just luck and good fortune, but nevertheless I am grateful every single day for this life and for being healthy, being able to do all of this, and for all the people in my path who trust me, inspire me, support me, challenge me, and enlighten me!

STUDIO SESSIONS, ALBUMS & PRODUCTIONS When compiling this list, it really dawned on me how fortunate I am to be working with such incredible talents and how priviledged I am to be able to witness, participate and contribute to the creation of exceptional works such as the following:

Producing, Recording & Mixing sessions with David J of Bauhaus, Norwegian artist Ihsahn (of Emperor) & Toby Driver (of Kyao Dot), John Stanier (of Battles), Brian Chase (of Yeah Yeah Yeahs), Restless Spirit, Vicki Peterson (of the Bangles), John Cowsill (of the Cowsill Family and The Beach Boys touring band) and many others for my new RAMONES tribute album to come out next year on Magnetic Eye records

Producing, Recording and Mixing a cover of Soundgarden's song "4th of July" with my doom metal / throat singing project SteppenDoom for the Magnetic Eye album "Soundgarden (Redux) and featuring Matt Cameron of Soundgarden themselves on drums

seeing the release of Brian Carpenter's "Ghost Train Orchestra & Kronos Quartet - The Music of Moondog" album featuring Kronos Quartet (which I recorded at EastSide Sound) and many other amazing guest artists

Producing, Recording, Mixing, and Mastering a live album by Brazilian artists Zé Ibarra, Dora Morelenbaum and Julia Mestre of Bala Desejo for Glasshaus Presents & Tower Records

Mixing new albums by Glenn Max Vanderwolf (produced by Dennis Martin), by Bloodmist (Toby Driver, Mario Diaz De Leon, Jeremiah Cymermann), and by Ikue Mori & Zeena Parkins at EastSide Sound fully utilizing the analog console and the analog outboard gear (something nowadays is more and more rare)

Recording & Mixing 6 new albums by John Zorn this year alone, which brings my total JZ count to over 120 albums, and which as of this year can finally be heard on streaming platforms as well!

Recording and Producing a new album by Marco Cappelli's Italian-inspired band IDR at EastSide Sound in NYC and then going to Rome, Italy to overdub trombone and vocals with famed contemporary Neapolitan singer Raiz

Producing, Recording, Mixing, and Mastering 2 new albums by incognito jazz / blues artist Russell Orr with legendary Brian Marsella & Brian Mitchell on keys, respectively

Recording, Mixing, and Mastering two new albums by Jessica Pavone and her trio

Producing, Recording, Mixing and Mastering a "We Are the World"-type track for NYC Mayor's Office of Immigrant Affairs with a song composed by Captain Beefheart / Jeff Buckley's guitarist Gary Lucas and 10 other musicians from various parts of the world playing their local instruments and singing in their mother's tongue

Recording and Mixing the new album by Italian singer/songwriter Beppe Voltarelli, produced by Simone Giuliani, which took second place in Italy's Premio Tenco

Recording a new film score by composer Billy Martin (of Medeski, Martin & Wood) and arranged by Simon Hanes (of Tredici Bacci)

Producing, Recording, Mixing, and Mastering contemporary classical music sessions commissioned by Miller Theater and Columbia University with artists such as Laura Barger & Julia Den Boer, Miguel Zenon, Matt Mitchell & Miles Okazaki, Russell Greenberg & Vicky Chow

Recording new albums by contemporary classical/jazz musicians such as Miles Okazaki, Brian Drye, Anna Webber & Matt Mitchell and others Recording new albums by amazing Latin Jazz artists such as Gili Lopes, Homan Alvarez, Rodrigo Recabarren, Benjamin Furman

seeing the HBO release of John Lurie’s “Painting with John” new season where all the music was recorded & mixed by me and seeing my face briefly on TV

recording in an old church in Italy with Adriano Viterbini and Vincenzo Vasi for a project that will come out sometimes next year hopefully

SOUND DESIGN GIGS & LIVE SOUND MIXING GIGS Similarly to the list above, I am eternally greatful for the fact that all these wonderfully talented people trust me with designing, mixing and amplifying their sound so that the rest of the world can truly and fully experience their art in the most complete, sonically articulated, detailed and full spectrum way there is! Some of these highlights include:

Mixing a 90-piece orchestra + 90-piece choir playing the score to Stanley Kubrick "2001: A Space Odyssey" live-to-picture conducted by Brad Lubman in the Auditorio Nacional of Mexico City to a sold-out crowd of 10'000 people

Mixing the Grammy Award Premiere Ceremony in Los Angeles and being there to amplify and mix the immensely talented house band led by Cheche Alara and the performances by musicians such as Samara Joy, Anoushka Shankar, Arooj Aftab and more…

Mixing the Robbie Robertson tribute concert & memorial organized by Martin Scorsese at Village Studios in Los Angeles with artists such as Jackson Browne, Jason Isbell, Rocco DeLuca, Citizen Cope, Angela McCluskey, Blake Mills and Jim Keltner

Mixing the National Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony concert at the White House with artists such as Dionne Warwick, Samara Joy, Joe Walsh of the Eagles, St. Vincent and others.

Sound Designing and Mixing the world premiere of "Perle Noire: Meditations for Joséphine" at the DNO Dutch National Opera House in Amsterdam, a beautiful performance/concert/opera directed by Peter Sellars, composed by Tyshawn Sorey and performed by Tyshawn Sorey and ICE International Contemporary Ensemble with soprano Julia Bullock

One of my sound design pieces inspired by Icelandic nature sounds and folklore was presented at the "Le Son 7" Art Gallery in Madrid between the 3rd and the 13th of May 2023, after it was presented the year before in London and will be presented in January 2024 in New York

mixing 12 shows by John Zorn in 2 days at Big Ears Festival in Knoxville TN

mixing more shows by John Zorn to celebrate his 70th birthday in places like Walker Art Center in Minneapolis, Miller Theater in New York, Reggio Emilia and Modena in Italy, Philharmonie in Paris, November Music Festival in Den Bosch Netherlands and Mexico City

Mixing Brian Carpenter's Ghost Train Orchestra live at Roulette with special guests David Byrne, Karen Mantler, Joan As Policewoman AND doing so right after I mixed another matinee gig earlier in the day with the New York Choral Society

working sound for the Met Gala at the Metropolitan Museum of Art with musical guests Lizzo and David Byrne

Mixing Claudia Acuna at Lincoln Center

mixing Idina Menzel's performance in Trafalgar Square in London for Gay Pride 2023

playing keys (something I almost never ever do!) for Japanese electronic artist Coppé's first-ever performance in Italy

mixing my first ever K-pop gig in Times Square NY

teaching Mixing Workshops at SAE in Mexico City and MOB Studios in Rome, Italy

RECORDS In no particular order, here are some of my favorite records of 2023 that I was not involved with but I wish I had been ;-)

Anohni and the Johnsons "My Back Was a Bridge for you to Cross"

Lil Yachty "Let's Start Here"

Boygenius "The Record"

Ryuichi Sakamoto "12"

Jaimie Branch "Fly or Die Fly or Die Fly or Die ((World War))"

Arooj Aftab / Vijay Iyer / Shahzad Ismaily "Love in Exile"

Peter Gabriel "I/O"

Hania Rani "Ghosts"

Meshell Ndegeocello "The Omnichord Real Book"

Bill Frisell "Four" - Ambrose Akinmusire, Bill Frisell, Herlin Riley "Owl song"

Porcupine Tree "Closure / Continuation"

Dr. John "The Brightest Smile in Town"

Spencer Zahn "Statues II"

Meshuggah "Chaosphere 25th anniversary 2023 Remastered edition"

Ennio Morricone "Segreto Songbook 1962-1973"

Sin Fang, Kjartan Holm "Angakok"

MUSIC SHOWS It's always hard for me to recount the shows I've seen because I usually see about 300-500 shows every year. LPR (Le Poisson Rouge) definitely shines through as my favorite venue and the one I've visited most often! Here are some of the highlights of 2023:

Spotlights, Imperial Triumphant, Puzzled Panthers at Saint Vitus

"La Splendida", a heavy metal opera by Laurent David & Kilter at Culture Lab LIC

Exotech 3 times, at Public Records, Mark Morris Dance Theater and at LPR

Tredici Bacci at least 2-3 times, one of which at Sultan Room

John Cale at Paradiso, Amsterdam

Plini at Melkweg, Amsterdam

Mary Halvorson Quintet at Bimhuis, Amsterdam

Thurston Moore at OCCII, Amsterdam

Jeff Goldblum at Town Hall

Xylorius White at LPR

Hal Willner's Amarcord tribute concert at Roulette

Snarky Puppy at Beacon Theater

Tim Bernardes at LPR

Groa at Taste of Iceland showcase at Pianos

JG Thirlwell & Mivos Quartet at National Sawdust

Bloodywood at Irving Plaza

Hermeto Pascoal twice, at Pioneer Works and LPR

Sexmob at Fotografiska

Grace Jones at Hammerstein Ballroom

Lisa Fisher at Blue Note

Iggy Pop and Debbie Harry / Blondie, London

Laurie Anderson & SexMob Let X=X at Barbican in London and BAM in Brooklyn - The Cult at MEDIMEX festival in Taranto, Italy - Tom Morello at MEDIMEX festival in Taranto, Italy

Emperor at Kings Theater

Ibrahim Malouff at Drom - Elan Mehler & Dave Douglas at Fotografiska

The Misfits at Prudential Center - Oumou Sangare at Brooklyn Bandshell

Red Fang at Gramercy Theater

The Eagles & Steely Dan at MSG - Tammy Faye Starlight at Joe's Pub

Julian Lage at Village Vanguard - Mdou Moctar at Summerstage

Makaya McCraven at Locus Festival, in Locorotondo Italy

Fatoumata Diawara at Locus Festival, in Locorotondo Italy

Sisters of Mercy at Cinzella Festival, in Grottaglie Italy

SunRa Arkestra at Locus Festival, in Locorotondo Italy

Robert Plant at Locus Festival, in Bari Italy

Mr. Bungle at Terminal 5

Melvins, Boris and all the other amazing bands at Desert Fest at Knockdown Center

Front Line Assembly at LPR

Peter Gabriel at MSG

Empire State Bastard at LPR & St Vitus

Cavalera Conspiracy at Irving Plaza

Swans at Music Hall of Williamsburg - Steven Bernstein w/ Millennial Territory at Dizzy's

Nick Cave & Jonny Greenwood 3 times, twice at Beacon Theater and once at Kings Theater

The Mission at LPR - Titan to Tychons at NuBlu

Dresden Dolls at Bowery Ballroom

Robert Glasper's Art Blakey tribute at Blue Note - Puzzled Panthers at Bowery Electric

Ghost Train Orchestra at Roulette

Arthur Brown in London

The Mongol Khan theater production at the Coliseum in London

8 Bit Big Band at Sony Hall

Bud Spencer Blues Explosion at Monk in Rome Italy

plus all the amazing artists I can't recall individually that I have seen at Winter Jazz Festival, Long Play Festival and Big Ears Festival

BOOKS I am sadly a slow reader and my pile of books on my bedside table is always bigger than the time awake I have when I finally do get to bed, but here are some I have read, or started to read or am planning on starting to read:

Kid Congo Powers "Some New Kind Of Kick"

Nick Cave & Seán O'Hagan "Faith, Hope and Carnage"

Warren Ellis "Nina Simone's Gum"

Rick Rubin "The Creative Act: A Way of Being"

Quincy Jones "12 Notes: On Life and Creativity"

Quincy Trouple "Miles & Me"

MUSEUMS I try to visit museums in every city I go to, whether I am on tour, working, traveling for pleasure or whatever the reason is… Art is my passion, my love and a way of life…

Museu Picasso, Barcelona, Spain

Fundcaio Joan Miró, Barcelona, Spain

The Salvador Dali Theater and Museum, Figueres, Spain

Salvador Dalí House / Fundació Gala, Cadaqués, Port Lligat, Spain

Park Gúell, Barcelona, Spain

Moco Museum, Barcelona, Spain

Sagrada Familia, Barcelona, Spain

Vermeer Exhibit, Rijksmuseum, Amsterdam, Netherlands

Moco Museum, Amsterdam, Netherlands

Rijksmuseum, Amsterdam, Netherlands

Amsterdam Museum, Amsterdam, Netherlands

Stedelijk Museum, Amsterdam, Netherlands

Van Gogh Museum, Amsterdam, Netherlands

Art on Paper, New York

Frieze, New York

Karl Lagerfled "A Line of Beauty", Metropolitan Museum of Art, NY

Yayoi Kusama "Infinity Mirror Rooms", Tate Modern, London, UK

Frida Kahlo & Diego Riviera House & Studio, Mexico City

Palacio De Bellas Artes, Mexico City

Museo Jumex, Mexico City

Museo Tamayo Arte Contemporanea, Mexico City

Paul Gugelmann "Poetic Machines", Aarau, Switzerland

MOVIES There are soooo many movies I still want to / need to see… I love movies but I prioritize work and live music in my life and I will only watch movies on planes, on (very very) rainy days or those rare times when I don't have a concert on my calendar, so here are a few of those rainy/non-concert films, in no particular order:

Killers of the Flower Moon (for the story, the acting and the soundtrack)

Equalizer 3 (because aside from its Hollywood-ish story and ending, it's a realistic look at how organized crime works in Italy)

Little Richard: I am Everything (for his story, his character, his music and his courage!)

Psychedelicized: The Electric Circus Stroy (for the amazing portrait of a time that's past but that changed NYC forever!)

American Symphony (for the amazing story, talent, spirit and courage of Jon Batiste)

32 Sounds (because my life is about sound…)

Hallelujah: Leonard Cohen, A Journey, A Song (because Leonard was an amazing artist and songwriter and singer and so many friends are in this movie)

Oppenheimer (because that history is so complex and so divided as the country in which it took place)

TRAVEL Travel is the richess of life! I travel SO MUCH that I am on a plane AT LEAST once a month and usually it is to an international location… This year was no different, so I've decided to only list 12 trips for this section:

January: Ringing in the year in a medieval tower in Barcelona and spending the first 4 days of the new year trying all the tapas bars, restaurants, food stands this beautiful city has to offer and seing the Sagrada Familia cathedral for the 3rd time in my life

February: Living in Amsterdam for 3 weeks visiting all the musuems, all the music venues and all the while working at the Dutch National Opera with some amazing folks (see list above)

March: Snowboarding the Swiss and the French alps

April: Visiting Knoxville Tennessee for Big Ears (easily the best independent music festival in the US!!!) for the 2nd time in 2 years, and hopefully the beginning of many more visits in the future!

May: Spending time in sunny Los Angeles and plotting a way to spend more time there and make music

June: Visiting London twice in one month to work and see amazing music shows, theater shows and art exhibits

July: coming back from London on July 6th only to realize that strangely there is no travel for the rest of this month! So weird and unusual!

August: Spending the month in Puglia, Southern Italy eating good food, kitesurfing in the Adriatic and Ionium sea, seeing tons of concerts and playing one myself!

September: arriving in Mexico City and getting my very own police escort motorcade to make it in time from the airport to the theater

October: On tour with John Zorn in Italy, France and the Netherlands

November: Flying to Los Angeles with a 36 hour notice for a concert I was hired for in secrecy having been told "we need a mixing engineer who can mix music for a room full of musicians" and showing up for the Robbie Robertson tribute orgnaized by Martin Scorsese with people like Joni Mitchell and Leonardo DiCaprio in attendance

December: DC-to-DF aka flying to Washgington DC to work at the White House and then flying straight to Mexico City I've finished the year with travel to my motherland of Switzerland, my fatherland of Italy and my second home of London UK!

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DJ Food aka Kevin Foakes

Music: Kosmischer Laufer - Volume 5 LP (UCR) Soia, Julien Sénélas, Jérôme Vassereau - In C for 11 Oscillators and 53 Forms LP (unjenesaisquoi) Cate Brooks - Tapeworks DL (Cafe Kaput) Memorials - Music For Film: Tramps! LP (State 51 Conspiracy) King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard - PetroDragonic Apocalypse… LP (Album of the year) Brian Eno - The Lighthouse radio station (Sonos) (most listened to) Niholoxica - Source of Denial LP (Crammed Discs) SareemOne - Olivine Window Coast Contra - Breathe & Stop Freestyle/Never Freestyle/Scenario Freestyle Move78 - Grains LP Heiroglyphic Being - The Moon Dance LP (Apnea) Raj Pannu - Past Crimes EP 12" (To Pikap Records) Gordon Chapman-Fox - The Nine Travellers LP (Castles In Space Subscription Library)

Gigs / Events: Beyond The Streets exhibition @Saatchi gallery, London Sunroof / Finlay Shakespeare @iklectik, London The Light Surgeons - The Consensual Hallucination @iklectik, London Memorials at the State 51 Summer Psych party @State 51, London FogFest2 @iklectik, London JG Thirlwell & Ensemble @Bush Hall, London Machina Bristronica, Bristol Visiting Peel Acres with Eilon Paz for Dust & Grooves Nihiloxia @the Jazz Cafe, London

Design / Packaging: Yves Malone - A Hello To A Goodbye LP (Castles In Space) Drumetrics - Phuzzle (Drumetrics) Waclaw Zimpel - Train Spotter LP (State 51) David Boulter - Factory 3" CD (Clay Pipe Music) Fluctuosa - Wetware EP 12" (Analogical Force) Fluxus - Orbit & Shine LP (Castles In Space) Floating Points - Birth4000 12" (Ninja Tune) Cate Brooks - Easel Studies LP + badge (Clay Pipe Music) Brian Eno - Top Boy OST CD (Beatink)

Books / Magazines / Comics: Medical Grade Music - Steve Davis & Kavis Torabi (White Rabbit) Doctor Strange - Fall Sunrise - Tradd & Heather Moore (Marvel) Tales To Enlighten - The New Testament - Matt King and James Edward Clark Pop - Milton Glaser (Phaidon) Kevin O'Neill Apex Edition (2000AD) Mark Stafford - Salmonella Smorgasbord (Soaring Penguin Press) Savage Impressions - Bruce Lichen (Independent Project Records) Hexagon Bridge - Richard Blake (Image) Monica - Daniel Clowes (Fantagraphics) Acid Valley - Luke Insect Petrol Head - Rob Williams & Pye Parr (Image) Lawless - Dan Abnett & Phil Winslade (Rebellion) Giant Robot Hellboy - Mignola/Fegredo (Dark Horse) Facelss & The Family - Matt Lesniewski (Oni Press)

Films: Barbie Squaring The Circle : The Story of Hipgnosis

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goldfish-or-smthing · 2 years ago

Text

The Tedependent Masterpost

Essentially my deluded ramblings as to why I’m a Tedependent truther 😊

DISCLAIMER: I love TL and no matter what direction the writers take S3 in I will be on board! This is just a theory from some lil' details I noticed 😊Also so that if I turn out to be right I can say I told you so :o but if I’m wrong uhhhh.. you never saw this

Some various important notes before we get into it:

Firstly, I think it’s pretty likely that sexuality will come up in some form in S3. It fits in really well with the previous themes of the show (masculinity, mental health, relationships with fathers etc). TL has tackled some other issues such as the portrayal of mental health in sport but they haven’t mentioned sexuality yet despite it being a big topic (there’s only 1 out gay footballer… which is INSANE.. there’s a LOT of homophobia in football). So it makes a lot of sense for this to come up during S3. A lot of people have also theorized that Colin is gay and although I’m not going to go into that now I think it’s pretty likely and considering that Colin was one of Nate’s main “victims” (for want of a better word) it’s also likely that he’ll be more prominent in S3, perhaps even being a big part of Nate’s comeuppance. There’s also various rumours of Trent (and some say Colin too?) being seen filming at a gay nightclub in Amsterdam…

Here's an excerpt from an article interviewing Cristo Fernández, the actor who plays Dani Rojas, about the themes of season 3:

Interesting stuff....

In terms of whether or not Ted will have a romantic relationship in S3 I think it’s pretty likely through the “rom-communism” speech and how generally wholesome the show is that Ted will end up in a relationship at the end- especially as it would be very satisfying for Ted to start the show in a bad relationship and end it in a healthy one. Also the teaser dropping on Valentines is very…… interesting. Despite this it could be argued that Ted has to go through more personal growth before he’s ready to be in a long term relationship and with Ted most likely leaving for Kansas at the end of S3 he might not be in a good position to get into a new relationship. This is probably one of the biggest holes in this theory- whether Ted is ready for a relationship in S3. If he is though, I can think of someone who would be a very good option…

Before we talk about Trent though (yes there still is more to address) we need to address the other main option- Rebecca. I think it’s pretty unlikely that Ted will end up with Rebecca. Firstly it’s very cliché and the writers know that people expect Ted and Rebecca to end up together. They teased it in S2 before the Sam bantr reveal which felt to me like the writers saying that they know it’s what people expect but that they’re choosing not to go that direction. Speaking of Sam, although he and Rebecca technically ended S2 not together it’s very clear that that arc is not over yet and that’s still something that has to be dealt with in S3. Ted and Rebecca’s relationship is an incredibly valuable representation of close friendships/platonic relationships between men and women, and I think the writers understand this too:

To be clear, I don’t have any problem with people shipping Tedbecca! I actually think it can be quite a cute ship, I just don’t think it’s likely to happen in canon.

Now onto the fun bit! All the evidence!

I don’t think it’s in question that Trent is gay so I’m not really going to cover that here apart from saying that he leaves the pub with a man he’s seemingly on a date with an if you’re still not sold that he’s gay… just uh…. Just look at him..

First some quickfire evidence:

Ted calls Trent “baby”! s2 ep3 3 mins in! crazy stuff

S2 ep1 at about 6:20 Ted says “Trent Crimm, bringin’ that heat”- a reference to the very spicy Indian food they ate together

They speak more often than we see off-screen- we have the iconic “love our chats!” line implying that they have conversations outside of the show and Ted makes Trent’s daughter biscuits (s1 ep9 27:40), showing that he’s not only met Trent’s daughter before but is meeting her again soon to give her the biscuits

Slightly less quickfire evidence:

There’s a lot of similarities between Trent and Rebecca- this post details some of them, but there’s also similarities in lines- in s1 ep3 Ted says to Trent “watch your back Gay Talese there’s a new iconic profile about to be typed up by one Trent Crimm” then on s1 ep9 Ted says to Rebecca “watch your back Kate Moss there’s a new bad girl on the British modelling scene”. They also have very similar hair (look at the first two gifs of the above post), and the only two people Ted makes biscuits for on the show are Rebecca and Trent’s daughter. I believe this is a way of twisting the expectation that Rebecca and Ted are going to end up together to have Ted end up with someone similar, but not who people expect.

Some silly little scene analysis:

The first scene I’ll be talking about is s2, ep7, at about 31 minutes in. Before I go into depth about the details of this scene I’d suggest you rewatch it first, but I couldn’t find a clip of it on Youtube so just go to that timestamp. The first line in this scene is very strange- it’s Mae saying “If music be the food of love play on, give me excess of it”. This line seems completely pointless- it’s not really a joke, nor does it serve to further the plot or develop Mae’s character. But as I will repeat many times and cannot emphasise enough- lines in this show don’t get used lightly. This line is actually the opening line to Shakespeare’s most famous romantic comedy, Twelfth Night. And this line is used at the beginning of a scene with Ted and Trent when there’s seemingly NO REASON for it…. (I’m not going to get into the Shakespeare analysis now but if you want me to I will make a post about it :D) We then see Trent saying goodbye to a man he’s on a date with- who has a moustache, no less. And THEN he says “of all the pub joints” which is a reference to the line “of all the gin joints” from the film Casablanca- and (mild spoilers for 3) the episode title of ep 8 is “We’ll never have Paris”, another reference to Casablanca. They end off this scene with Trent saying "Love our chats!". This line is reminiscent of when Ted asked Trent "What do you love?" in the Indian restaurant in s1 ep3, and also implies that they are closer than the show makes them seem.

Another very suspicious moment came at end of s2 ep12, which is the VERY LAST scene with Ted in the whole of S2. It’s also sandwiched in between the scenes about the other 2 major romantic relationships in the show- we get Sam and Rebecca, then Trent and Ted, then Roy and Keeley… Which in my opinion is a deliberate way of laying out these scenes to imply more about Trent and Ted’s relationship. Before I go on to talk about it here’s the clip for context: https://youtu.be/fF3A7XSk2HU (it’s pretty low quality so if you want to you can watch the clip at 44mins into s2 ep12). I think Trent waiting outside for Ted speaks for itself, but then there’s the line about the bike accident, where we learn that Trent doesn’t know how to ride a bike. Lines in this show are rarely used lightly and this is likely suggesting that we’ll get a scene of Trent learning how to ride a bike (potentially in Amsterdam?!). We then learn that Trent - and now I want you to listen closely on this part- has thrown away his entire career in journalism and his chance to ever work in journalism again by telling his boss that he revealed a source. And why did he do this? For Ted (...mostly. he has other reasons for leaving as well but...). Not only is this literally insane but by having Trent quit his job the writers have removed the only major barrier to Trent and Ted being in a relationship- whereas previously this might’ve been unethical because Trent was a journalist covering Richmond, that’s now no longer an issue. And then Trent has locked his keys in the car- which shows either how flustered he was when waiting to see Ted or could be implying that he’s here to stay.

Sorry for low quality but look at them. That is a normal way for two straight lads to look at another guy right?

Bits from some interviews:

Conclusion:

Some would say that I'm mad. I'd argue that if you look at the evidence there's a solid chance that Tedtrent could happen in Season 3- the sneaky little references to Casablanca and Shakespeare as well as literally the whole of their last scene together sold me the most tbh. It's hardly debatable that Trent has a crush on Ted, but I believe (hehe) that it could be reciprocal- there's not much evidence that Ted is bisexual, (references to queen and the frequent appearance of their songs as well as the choice of NSync's song "Bye bye bye" which is frequently used on the internet to mean "Bi bi bi") but then again, there's not much evidence that he's not. I feel like I could go on and I've definitely missed some things but this post is already far too long (1.6k words) and I need to stop!

I’d be interested to hear everyone’s thoughts and opinions, and feel free to drop a comment telling me how deluded I am because in all honestly I probably am…. Or am I………….. guess we’ll find out in season 3!

If I’ve missed anything please lmk!

EDIT: ohhh my god I forgot- The scene w/ Ted and Trent at the end of s2 happens in the Richmond car park- just like Roy and Keeley in s1. And Ted met Michelle in a car park :)

UPDATE

#this took ages to write #i hope you all enjoyed reading it #maybe i convinced some people....#ted lasso #ted lasso season 3 #trent crimm #tedependent #tred #tedtrent #rebecca welton #sam obisanya #colin hughes

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