#NOT getting the press it needs to on tumblr dot com

[elodieunderglass]

I’m sorry but I’m VERY bothered by this video, and you all have to watch it with me, and then sit around me patiently, with candles burning, while I go like this

😶

🙏

Until I emerge from my trance with the perfect joke, okay

[v-arbellanaris]

Not here to excuse Samson's actions, but I do find it weird that the writers had a street beggar sell a young boy/man to slavery because said boy/man didn't have money, and Samson needed money for his addiction to lyrium. I just feel like this writing decision definitely came from the writers's ableism, their apparent view of beggars as bad, unreliable or greedy. In DAO, you can encounter a beggar in the alienage who turns out to just want free money, and another beggar in DA2 who turns out to be demon-possessed the next time you meet her. Samson may have done wrong, but it feels like the writers want to make it out that beggars are just plain unreliable. My thoughts on this, anyway.

so like. which is it. is his writing ableist or classist. schrodinger's writing, where it's both ableist or classist based on whatever you need it to be to make samson morally pure?

i never said he sold anyone into slavery knowingly. what i did say was that samson is not a Good Templar because 1. he goes back to the templars given the opportunity, unlike OTHER TEMPLARS that we KNOW leave the order, 2. maybe when he's taking money from incredibly desperate people or working with incredibly desperate and vulnerable people, he has due diligence and a duty to make sure whoever he is sending them to isn't going to put them on a fucking ship to tevinter to be sold. like. i don't know how much clearer i can make it at this point - samson was always morally grey. and i do think there's ableism touching his writing - as there is touching a lot of the writing concerning disabilities and addiction in da (one of my more unpopular opinions is that ending da2 with meredith's death is ableist, after all) - but that doesn't like... mean that Did Not Happen? the samson thing with feynriel wasn't a retcon added in later to make him look back, it was something that did, in fact, happen? and i really don't think that the problems with samson's writing boils down to wanting to give out a specific message about beggars in da.

(you have plenty of beggars in dao that are never treated like that - notably in the alienage, but also in lothering. usually you're the one that can be an asshole to people begging for money, and to me, it's pretty clear you're the asshole for it.)

like. if you had argued that it was to paint a Certain Type of Addict to look bad, then i do agree, but this really just feels like a Reach. samson, within the context of the narrative, made decisions that he should be responsible for. and there's definitely off-putting aspects around his writing - specifically, around his addiction - but i don't ever really agree with the solution to engaging with that kind of writing to be "let's just pretend it didn't happen". how do we recontextualise what he did? how do we rewrite it so that he still retains complexity without putting off awful implications about addicts as a whole? (and the easiest solution to me, here, would be to parallel him to someone like keran - who, unlike samson, willingly left the order and will willingly go through lyrium withdrawal and have to deal with that, when it's made clear his entire household was depending on his templar paycheck for survival.)

and like. i promise you, i really think you can just. like samson. and he can be kind of morally ambigious and morally grey and you can still just enjoy him as a character and still feel a great lot of sympathy and love for his situation regardless. you don't need to sand off his edges to make him more palatable to me - what's important is that you enjoy him as a character. and that's fine? i certainly don't think you're an irl piece of shit for enjoying him as a fictional character? i certainly still think he's interesting? i only indicated that my opinions around aspects of his character had changed/evolved? so like? go ahead and enjoy him???

[comradecowplant]

the CANADIAN i reblogged this from should worry more about her own blue fascist imperial running dog PM instead of finger wagging the minority of usamericans who are trying to maintain the controversial position of "having principles".

lemme ignore the hysterical phrasings & ask a few simple grounded questions: which administration & party was in power during this unprecedented wave of anti-lgbtq legislation?

which admin & party maintained and rehired trump-era immigration policy and ICE officials?

which admin & party oversees the hoards of jackbooted thugs beating anti-racist protesters in 2020, gave cops more money, and again supports jackbooted thugs beating anti-genocide protesters in 2024?

which admin & party claims to be allies of women and had multiple opportunities throughout the DECADES of Roe to codify it and yet didn't?

which admin & party, claiming to be the "pro-science" party, approved one of the biggest oil projects in U.S. history and walked back already-lacking Covid policy that has, to this day, effectively barred disabled people from much of public life?

which admin & party refuses to use the weight of the federal government to fight back against states enacting barbaric legislation (akin to how it was used to enforce integration during the civil rights movement) because they're obsessed with the self-aggrandizing image of "flying high" & politeness instead of keeping their word and actually using the power of government to improve lives?

We all know the answer. The christofascism is already here. "project 2025" is the same fascist wetdream reactionaries have had for decades, and the sense of heightened urgency is just the same shit different day. Democrats could stop it in their tracks if they wanted, but the dangling threat is what they rely on for gathering their base rather than having effective progressive policies. There is a bigger world than Orange Man Bad and Republicans Demons/Democrats Angels delusion that blueanon liberals rev themselves into a tizzy over rather than accepting the uncomfortable truth that blue & red are two wings of the same U.S.American fascist bird. That actually building a just society will require harder work than blindly voting once every 4 years for Good party instead of Bad (and starts with unlearning years of imperial indoctrination which, among many myths, asserts that the only form of valid political action happens at the voting box.)

Final things to get straight: so we cannot do precious democracy (aka biden is a failure so i will not give him my vote. which is the basics of the neoliberal democratic process, correct?) in order to prevent a HYPOTHETICAL loss of precious precious democracy next presidency? will we be able to do real democracy next election if we pwomise to vote for biden again, or will there conveniently be another "election of a lifetime"? How many "elections of our lifetime" should be tolerated if we're to maintain the guise of democracy?

If trump can TRULY become a dictator, that seems much more a condemnation of the political system that would allow him access to power, no? Who is going to be enforcing the fascism? Will the military be purged of anyone not a Trump supporter? Who will enforce that? Because as much as I hate handing it to anything U.S. military related, the last trump administration made it quite clear that most military personnel are status quo followers, which means there is not the concerted manpower eager & willing to do coup for Trump like he pretends to believe. Pretty sure last time the civilian "masses" of Trump-supporting christofascist foot soldiers tried to do anything, it was the most pathetic failcoup in history (and they even had the cops on their side!)

I'll even play the game for a minute & consider what Biden could do to wiggle the win. But given that he keeps going on television & spreading racist atrocity porn lies about Palestinian resistance, equates anti-genocide protesters to 1930s nazi germany, has DNC cronies routinely insult gen z voters by calling them dumb self-centered sheeple, called immigrants "illegals", and just 2 days ago claimed that Palestinians have an ancient desires to murder jews (& that's just from the top of my head from the last few months!) I'd say his shot of winning has never looked worse. Did us "moral purists" cause him to say those things? How much overt racism should be tolerated if your candidate seeks to maintain the guise of a progressive?

Are you prepared to look someone in the eye who has lost family from U.S. foreign policy that Joe "If there wasn't an israel we'd have to create an israel to protect u.s. interests in the region" Biden actively defends & maintains, who isn't voting for Biden because of these REAL MATERIAL TRAGEDIES they've experienced (instead hypothetical tragedies tomorrow that conveniently matter more because they affect you personally), and doesn't see the point in voting due to the duel genocide support of both parties, and tell that person that actually THEY'RE the one supporting fascism? Are you for real??

TLDR: Biden barely won the first time, and he has only lost voters from his parade of failures & supporting of genocide. If someone personally wants to vote for him & buys the delusion that it will matter, so what, no one cares, just do it quietly if you care to maintain a scrap of dignity. But blaming those who care about people & struggles other than their own is not helping your cause. When trump wins-- and believe me, i am not looking forward to it, if for no other reason than if blueanon's dystopia fetish becomes real I too will be thrown into the fagtrannydyke camps with people like OP & will have to hear their incessant whining about being right about it, which is worse torture than anything a nazi could come up with-- there will be no one to blame but BIDEN.

Gonna need yall to stop putting Biden is Just As Bad propaganda on my dash. Had to unfollow someone because I don’t want to a start a fight with them over it, but I’m about to bite the next person who puts that shit in front of me.

If you don’t like Biden, vote in your god damn local and mid term elections for third party or further left candidates so that we get better democratic candidates for future elections. But this one is already fucking decided, and I’m NOT ending up under a Trump led dictatorship because yall value protecting your personal sense of moral purity over the collective good. Whether it offends your personal morals to vote for Biden is IRRELEVANT in the face of the alternative.

This isn’t a lesser of two evils situation. One guy sucks. The other guy is LITERALLY PLANNING TO OVERTHROW OUR DEMOCRACY AND INSTALL HIMSELF AS A PUTIN STYLE DICTATOR.

PLEASE look up Project 2025 and stop acting like abstaining is some kind of personal ethical decision!

[chaotic-neutral-knitter]

this whole "needing to sleep" and "having a job" thing is really getting in the way of pressing boop buttons on tumblr dot com huh

[thefrogman]

Back in the olden days, if you used the "keep reading" function on a Tumblr-dot-com post, it would

not get very many notes.

At all.

I am not sure exactly why.

I think people hated pressing an extra thing.

But maybe it was also a psychological phenomenon where, given the choice, they were unwilling to trust me with their time.

But if I sucked them in with a good story or a compelling image, they would get serious FOMO.

When I created a super high effort post-of-length I would get comments like, "This was way too long but before I realized it I was reading the last sentence."

That was a really good feeling.

I used to do tests to figure out the best posting strategies and I think I figured out you'd lose about 90% of your notes if you did a "keep reading" post.

So that notion was ingrained in my brain again and again from when I was very note-obsessed and I have since avoided the "keep reading" option almost like a conditioned response.

Just seeing that squiggly line appear still induces a Pavlovian fear.

But that was probably a decade ago and I did a new experiment. My story about replacing my mailbox did reasonably well with a strategically clickbaity "keep reading."

This was a promising result due to the fact that some people like to send me hate for writing a lengthy post.

I recently got a death threat for writing too much, which was a fun reminder of my M&M days (I melted men's rights activists' brains with a poorly worded analogy and they launched a years long harassment campaign).

It seems in present-era-Tumblr-dot-com many more people prefer pressing an extra thing rather than scrolling a bunch on their smartphone. The collective behavior has changed. And maybe I don't need to use tricks and running gags in order to get folks to "keep reading".

Unfortunately I started writing that ring light post a few months ago so I wasn't able to include that in the experiment. But I am going to try using the keep reading function in the future and as long as the average number of folks that usually read my longer posts continue to read my posts, that will be the standard approach.

I also tag these posts with "long post" so you can flag that if you wish.

While I am no longer in the audience-building phase of my Tumblr career, these essays and stories and educational posts take a considerable amount of time and effort to create, so I do want to make sure everyone who wants to read them is able to. But posts without hearts and reblogs can quickly die a gruesome algorithmic death. Even my most ardent followers would tell me things were not showing up on their dash. (I think replies help mitigate that, so if you like a long post, you can help with engagement.)

The collective noun is a "business" of ferrets.

Do you want to see a business of ferrets ready to do some business?

KEEP READING

I love writing and it is a huge catharsis for me. And I love sharing any knowledge I feel like I have the earned expertise to speak on with authority (technology, photography, light, fun ferret facts, etc). I wish I had the energy to be a photography teacher, but long posts on Tumblr are probably the best I can do for now.

I know my posts are super long, but I try to make them as fun and informationally dense as I possibly can. I don't like wasting people's time if I can avoid it. Though maybe I should trust my follower's attention span a bit more. I have this fear that if I am not constantly entertaining, people will click away or unfollow.

I think a good business for a business of ferrets would be selling pool noodles that look like ferrets.

So as long as I get roughly the same amount of notes I will do the keep reading. And then maybe people can lay off on the mean comments and occasional requests to end my own life because I bloviated about soft light.

100% true ferret fact..

If you ask a ferret what their business is, they will crawl on your shoulder and whisper in your ear...

[zillanovikov]

okay

okay okay OKAY

I wrote a book about what it feels like to try to get an agent to notice your novel

and what it feels like to start doing activism and find friends who share your values but also lose friends who don't

it's written in the form of unhinged query letters

and then somehow rysz merey wanted to publish it with the tRaum books press for queer agenre books

and rachel a rosen designed me one of the greatest covers of all time, with blackout poetry:

and then rysz was like, did you want an even less hinged cover for the special edition since it won't be censored by amazon and rachel was like, i can do fewer hinges, and this happened:

[tumblr won't let me blaze this post with the special edition cover so um if you want to see it you need to click the link here, do it, I promise it's worth it, this is Art, maybe not safe for work tho, don't click it at work]

if you enjoy print books or capitalism, click here to buy it, the indie links have the special cover

if you would like to read it but would not like to pay money, you can get a review copy if you promise to post an honest review somewhere, this link will be live for a month or so but if you want it after I close the link, message me on tumblr or shoot an email to nightbeatseu (at) gmail (dot) com

[duelacadatoolshed]

it's a bitch convincing people to like you {Evan/Reader/HABIT}

Part 4/4 // FINAL

{ part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 }

Summary: HABIT doesn't do aftercare, he leaves that you for Evan to deal with in the aftermath.

Warnings: so much blood, nudity, graphic descriptions, brief flashbacks and discussions about sex, wound aftercare including use of anaesthetic and suturing, mentions of violence, consent regarding the HABIT/reader situation is still a tricky grey area but it's framed in the discussion as SA even though the reader considers it to be CNC-adjacent.

A/N: probably final emhpost in the year of our lord, 2024. end of the story. not going to extend it and get burnt out. happy with this as the ending, beyond this is just the fucked up cycle of the worst throuple you can imagine. If you liked this, you can give it a like, or even a comment, I'd be very appreciative. Or put it into a time capsule and unearth it in 50 years so those closest to you can ask you if you really chose to bury only the 4th part of a 4 part NSFW HABIT EverymanHybrid X Reader fanfiction from Tumblr dot com. If you hated it, let me know so I can flick you through my exact coordinates, and we can fist fight about it in person like rational adults.

You're not sure when you pass out, only that it was from a combination of overstimulation, and pain as HABIT had been carefully carving his name to your chest beneath your boobs. It would definitely need stitches, but it wasn't anywhere near life threatening. Just a little something to remind you of him every time you looked in the mirror, he'd said with a grin, thrusting into you particularly hard, which had you choking out a moan, arching off of the bed.

He'd actually gotten you off far more then twice, and degraded you to the point of tears each and every time. The most shameful was how turned on you were by his cruelty, even if it logically upset you.

The first thing you hear as your waking up is swearing. Evan specifically swearing. He has two fingers to your pulse point, and his voice is shaking. You've curled up on your side away from him, hands still locked up to the headboard, and the more you wake, the more pain you feel; the cuts HABIT left on you are agonizing, but the rest of you somehow still feels all foggy and euphoric. Your thighs especially are feeling sticky and sore, but they don't hurt like they've been cut like your chest had.

"Ow," you whimper hazily, and then Evan's collapsed against you in relief, his forehead pressed against your side. He's shaking, babbling how thankful he is that you're alright, how he has no idea what's going on. You groaned, trying your best to wriggle onto your back, "HABIT broke my hand," you mumbled weakly, still feeling so foggy and pained, but Evan's sat back up, going completely still and silent when he sees your front.

"Please unlock my hands," you pleaded weakly, but your boyfriend is frozen, staring at your chest, "Evan, please, it hurts." You're coming back to yourself more now, and the sharper your awareness, the sharper the pain becomes.

"Yeah," he sounds shocked and sick, but he stands, begins moving. Tilting your head, you see him by the drawer HABIT had gone through before. He looks clean and showered, wearing pyjama pants, his expression far away, almost shattered. As more and more came back to you about how you got into this state, the more guilt, the more self disgust and shame welled up within you.

The demon that possessed your wonderful boyfriend had fucked you senseless after he'd made you kill a man in cold blood, and you'd absolutely loved it. God you fucking hated yourself right now. Maybe even more than you hate HABIT.

Evan comes back with the key and immediately sits beside you, unlocking the handcuffs; your shoulders ache like a bitch, and the moment you're free you burst into tears. Evan surges forward, pulling you into his arms as you sobbed, cradling you to him, on the verge of tears himself as he whispers apologies to you.

"I love you, I'm sorry," keeps tumbling from your lips, and all he can do is reassure you softly.

He carries you to the bathroom, and finally you get a good look at yourself, at what had horrified him so much. There was blood everywhere, but mostly on your stomach, dried and dark and caked to the cuts that very clearly spelled HABIT across your ribs. But in black Sharpie, across your chest and tits, it takes you a moment to figure out in your reflection, but you realise it says 'IF FOUND RETURN TO' above his fucked up signature in your skin.

Evan promises to take care of you as he sits you beneath a gentle, warm shower. Every touch is so tender, always asking before he did anything; your arms can barely move, so sore after being restrained like that for so long, and you let him clean you up. He's so careful when he washes you, though he has to stop every few minutes to give himself a moment as the situation would overwhelm him when he thought about it too much.

When you're clean and dry, he helps you into a pair of sweatpants, and strips the bloody sheets from the bed. He haphazardly tosses a clean sheet down, not bothering to tuck it in before he rests you atop it. Again you apologise, guilty, shameful tears in your eyes, but Evan lets out a long, shakey breath. He rests his forehead against yours, eyes closed.

"I'm so glad you're alive," he whispers faintly, "you have nothing to apologise for," except enjoying yourself, you thought, lip trembling, pain and all. He gets you pain killers and a medical kit, and you're actually surprised when he pulls out a syringe and a bottle that he tells you is a local anaesthetic. When you marvel at how he's so confident when drawing up a dose to numb the cuts on your chest, he quietly tells you he doesn't want to talk about it. You still can't help but wonder; it seems like exactly something HABIT would do, give him the chance, the cruel hope of helping his victims, and snatching back control the moment that hope is finally in reach.

"I love you, Evan," you whisper as he's finished with the anaesthetic and was discarding the syringe. But he freezes, his back to you. You see his shoulders sag.

"I love you too," he murmurs, turning back around and sitting at your side; he can't look at you, "too much to keep putting you in danger like this. You know you shouldn't be with me." He's absolutely right, you shouldn't have fallen in love with a man who was occasionally possessed by a sadistic megalomaniac with supernatural powers. But you did, and you'd the price for it, but you know deep down it's a price you'd happily pay again. But you can't find the words to explain yourself in a way that doesn't make you seem like a monster in your own right.

"But I do want to be with you," you mumbled, sounding almost pathetic to even your own ears, "I know I should know better, but I..." your heart breaks at his pained expression, and you sniffle quietly, apologising again, "you're right," it's barely audible, but you can't help but concede.

"I'm sorry," he offers quietly, "about everything."

"You, Evan, have nothing to be sorry for," you told him firmly.

"Even if you don't blame me for HABIT hurting you -"

"I don't."

"I still put you in danger by being around you knowing he could take over at any time," and he threads the needle he was about to suture your wound with, "and the fucked up thing is that I know HABIT better than anyone, and this is his version of gentle." Oh, you realise, that's what's getting him, that's what he can't figure out. He thought HABIT didn't care for you, because HABIT didn't care about anyone, so why had he left you comparatively unscathed?

"I think he did it because he knows it'd mess you up," you sighed. Even gives a wry, humourless smile as he stitches you up, muttering that HABIT was very good at what he did. After a moment, you laid back, eyes closed, "can I admit something?"

"Like what?"

"The fact that the worst part was knowing it was a way to torment you," you swallowed hard, "as fucked as it is to admit, the rest I could stomach; the pain, being violated, all of it I could tough out mainly because my genuine passion for refusing to give HABIT the reaction he wants outweighs my own sense of self preservation," Evan stills, looking at you with an unreadable expression, "but I still gave it to him when I realised how you'd find me, and that he was just using me as a tool to upset you, against my will."

"You can't say stuff like that," he says weakly, eyes going glossy as it looks as though he's about to cry again.

"I know what he's done, what he can do, I'm not scared of him," you insisted, "I just really don't want you to go through this on your own; I know you have the others and you're all going through this shit, but Evan," you voice caught in your throat, giving him a pleading look, "you especially push people away for their own good, with good reason I get, but I don't want to be one of those people if I don't have to be."

"He's going to kill you."

"I keep telling him he should," you give a watery laugh, "and instead he carved his name in me because he was so mad that I don't give even a single shit about him except when it comes to you."

Evan let out a long, shaky breath, closing his eyes as he processes everything you'd just said. He looks genuinely pained.

"I'm going to get you killed if we stay together," he mumbled, "that's- Y/N you know that's a fact. Whatever fucking game HABIT is play with you only ends one way if you don't leave before it's too late," he says it like he's seen it happen too many times before. You're conflicted; you don't think you could live with yourself if you walked away, but you don't want to be used as a tool to hurt him.

"Evan, do you want me to leave?" You ask softly.

"You should."

"That wasn't my question."

It takes a long time for Evan to open his eyes. He swallows hard, gaze trained on his hands as he set back to work stitching you up. You give him the time he needs, however, letting your eyes fall closed as you fight the urge to continue pleading your case; he knows what you want, and that it's to be in his life, to be with him. Now the choice was all his.

"I love you, of course I don't want you to leave."

[joojeans]

euijoo + size kink

this is more about euijoo’s thoughts than it is a scene! just wanted to write a lil something since i seem to have awoken many beasts with my euijoo size kink comment lmao i hope this is enough to hold you over for now but worry not! euijoo size kink agenda is here to stay on joojeans dot tumblr dot com ♡

it’s been a long fucking day for euijoo.

the day itself has been mostly normal—running errands with you, having lunch together, a little shopping. now you’re home, cuddled up on the couch while you watch a movie. this day has been textbook for the two of you except for one thing.

euijoo can’t stop thinking about how much bigger he is than you and as much as he’s been trying to keep from getting noticeably aroused by it all day, it’s getting increasingly more difficult. he feels like such a perv but fuck, it’s driving him crazy.

it all started when he woke up this morning, feeling a little shy when he realized you were already awake and watching him sleep. he had reached out to hold your face in his hand, but then your hand came up to rest on top of his. he couldn’t help but notice how small your hand looked compared to his and then he couldn’t help but notice how small your head looked with his hand holding it.

the size difference in combination with your innocent, adoring eyes was already making him stir in his boxers. he took your hand in his and playfully rolled himself over you, but that was a mistake because then he was painfully aware of how easy it was for him to cage you in under him. you look so small and vulnerable beneath him and it makes him want to fuck you like a ragdoll.

not wanting to ruin the sweet atmosphere, he pressed a soft kiss to your lips before excusing himself for a much-needed cold shower.

he wasn’t safe running errands either. you’d want a kiss at red lights and the way you had to reach up so much just to meet his lips had him white knuckling the steering wheel. he wanted to pull you the rest of the way into his lap. he wanted to fold you up and fill the car with your pretty moans.

lunch was mostly safe, but when you finished eating you had a crumb on your lip and he, being the doting boyfriend that he is, had wiped it away for you with his thumb. he had caught you off guard, your mouth opening slightly to speak and his thumb hooked itself between your lips. even his thumb splitting your lips open looked sinful. he couldn’t let himself follow that line of thinking all the way down to his cock.

he knew shopping wasn’t going to fair well for him, but he thought watching you try on clothes would be the hard part. he was wrong. when you started leafing through the racks of clothes to find clothes that suit his style, that’s when the problems arose. you’d grab a t-shirt and excitedly hold it up to show him, but all he could think about is how the shirt was long enough to be a dress on you. he would picture you walking around the house in nothing but the shirt each time you showed him one and he ended up buying all of them because they’d all look good on you.

by the time you got back home, you were both still too full for dinner, so you settled onto the couch to watch a movie instead. you’d insisted on cuddling—spooning, to make it worse. you had reached back for his arm, wrapping it around your waist, and he had to stop himself from audibly groaning at how much surface area of your torso just his hand could cover.

so now here he is, massive hand itching to cover every part of you, silently hoping you can’t feel how hard his large cock is against your small figure, swearing to himself that he won’t let his animal brain take over if he can help it.

cr. cafekitsune for mdni banners ♡

[motorway-south]

every day i wake up and scroll on twitter dot com and see more and more posts from people attributing malice and evil to decisions by the creative team at hotd that are clearly just byproducts of adaptation and every day i get mad about them and come to my tumblr to rant

with a highly dramatic character driven show like hotd, the actors need to be able to navigate the psyche and neuroses of their characters, INCLUDING so called "evil" characters. tgc tells press that what aegon's done to aemond is just brotherly love bc thats how aegon sees it, and in building the character is how tgc needs to see it. same with fabien frankel telling the press that rhaenyra's rejection was cruel and not kind enough to be acceptable. that's not necessarily how fabien frankel the actor responds to rejection, but it is how criston cole justifies basically all of his actions from that point. this is literally one of the most well regarded acting strategies and to see everything an actor says about their character be torn to shreds because it betrays the hypocrisy of a character's actions is so incredibly childish

[straighttohellbuddy]

die mad about it {Dream/Reader/Sapnap} // Part 2

2. 2021

Summary: A retrospective on the interconnected timeline of Dream, Sapnap, and TV and film star Y/N, via social media.

2021. The year starts with Y/N's recent film racking up nominations during awards season, while Y/N themselves tries to work their way into getting into the DreamSMP. Dream isn't exactly thrilled with this, and he and Y/N appear to start beefing on Twitter. Sapnap moves in with Dream and his still-unknown housemate, but appears to be having a great time there, and Dream, in an interview, reveals that he's not technically single. Ft. mentions of the PSMP

Need to Know: Explicitly Non-Binary!Reader, early-20s!reader, reader is an incredibly well known film & tv star and has been living with Dream for several months/just over a year. Polyamory.

{ masterpost : 2 / 3 }

A/N: 6997 words. OH MY GOD ITS LITERALLY DOUBLE THE LAST ONE WHAT. also pretend its several months ago and i had this done on time please and thank you xx PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK I LVOE THIS FIC AND THIS STYLE OF WRITING EVEN IF IT TAKES ME AGES!!

Taglist: @esylwen @ihatesunfl0wers @theghostpeach @rainyaheysoe @magicastle @tidelqnds @icarusthefoolish @randokku @todaynotseen @moyo5653 @kittyfragsmini123666 @lacunaanonymoused @parkerpeanuts @sadredflower0000 @jay-being-weird @ronsbadidea @lacunaanonymoused @dreamtogether2000 @summerknights @mishthemess @lovejoywill @randosposts @stormy-skies-falling @gaysludge @hatchetislostpog @cryinghotmess @boiled-onionrings @busyfangirling12

Taglist is always open! Feel free to message or comment if you��d like to be added! xx

· JANUARY ·

At the beginning of January 2021, Y/N's tweet 'so glad they pushed back the SAG awards to march this year at my request, my boyfriend just moved in so im unavailable for the rest of the month' quickly followed by 'dont worry its not because i carried furniture and hurt my back or anything, my boyfriend helped him with all the heavy lifting, i just want to know i have several weeks to be domestic without being interrupted' caused chaos and confusion on Twitter, and they trended for the following 8 hours. After relative radio silence for twelve hours, the only tweet you chose to interact with was one that asked 'which is the side piece tho', to which you responded 'both i sleep in the middle 💙❤️🖤'.

Y/N also retweets a video originally posted on TikTok by user @.woolfenhawke; the woman in the video has dark skin and is wearing pale yellow pyjamas. The label at the top of the video reads 'millennial celebrity Y/N every single time they open Twitter Dot Com'. She starts facing away from the camera, and turns around suddenly, and the camera zooms in very quickly on her face as she lip-syncs to the audio of Tyler Oakley saying 'Hello LGBT community'.

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The most popular fandoms in the character tag of Y/N Y/L/N are Actor RPF, HELIX (2020) RPF, Star Wars RPF, X-Men RPF, and American Horror Story (TV) RPF. The most common pairing is tied between Y/N Y/L/N/Amandla Stenberg and Y/N Y/LN/Evan Peters, followed closely by Y/N/Reader. However, since the beginning of January, there has been a steady increase in fan works rated Mature or Explicit featuring polyamorous pairings.

Reposted from Tumblr and quickly growing in popularity is the fanfiction '(in the absence of everything) i promise to keep you warm'. The first chapter was posted on November 24, 2020, one week after HELIX's public premiere, and has updated consistently in the following months. It is ongoing, at 13 chapters and approximately 45,000 words. It has the following tags; Explicit, Actor RPF, Y/N Y/L/N/Chris Evans/Pedro Pascal, Y/N Y/L/N & Amandla Stenberg, Y/N Y/L/N & Oscar Isaac, AU, Assistant!Y/N, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Movie Sets, Secret Relationships, Power Dynamics, Protective Chris Evans, Protective Pedro Pascal, Daddy Kink, Fluff and Smut, D/S Undertones, Service Top, Domestic Fluff, Social Anxiety, press publicity and paparazzi, Red Carpets.

---

Sapnap posts a photo of himself and Patches in order to announce that he's moved in with Dream and Dream's housemate. Not long after the official post goes up, two posts are added to his Instagram story.

The first is an piece of fanart of Y/N's character Woolfe standing back to back with who appears to be Technoblade from the DreamSMP as he's often depicted in fanart. Technoblade is wearing what appears to be the top half of a boar's skull as a mask covering his eyes, while Woolfe is wearing the angular, aesthetically cyberpunk mask that covers their mouth and looks like a wolf's nose and snarling mouth. The background is black while both characters are lit in sharp relief from either side, with Woolfe being lit in neon green, and Technoblade being lit in neon pink. Stretching across the whole middle of the piece in bold, white lettering is the quote 'If you want to be a hero then die like one.' The art piece is in landscape, A3, and framed and hung against a dark wall. The artist of the piece has been tagged, and across the top Sapnap has added 'proof of housemate's 'not a shrine' to technoblade' in pink letters.

The second is of a polaroid stuck to a dark wall, and an unlit but partially used candle at the very bottom of the image. The polaroid is partially obscured as Sapnap appears to have purposefully edited the photo to scribble in black over one of the figures in the photo to hide their identity. What can be seen in the photo is Sapnap, a little blurry, clearly laughing, half turned from the camera and positioned like he's leaning into someone with his arm around them. There is am arm around his shoulder that is unobscured, but their hand is cut out of the image and they are wearing long sleeves, so there is no identifiable features visible. Over the black scribble, in white text; 'a little bit of a shrine ❤️'.

----

"They travel a lot, the housemate travels a lot for work usually," one of the earliest streams Sapnap does after he moves is a somewhat indulgent Q&A while playing Valorant, "in like, chunks of time, a few weeks I guess? But when they're home they're still working, but usually in a way that's, I guess more similar to me and Dream? Like it'd feel weird and, I don't know, like arrogant, I guess? To compare our work? Usually at least. But because of how everything is, you know, a lot of their work is online, and like we have a schedule for who needs the house quiet at what times. That's- that's all I can really say. I know it's vague," he laughs apologetically, "but it has to be." Then, after a few moments of reading through chat he frowns, "can you tell us where housemate is now? I don't know if I'm allowed, hang on," he pulls out his phone and types away, "I'll ask." It doesn't take more than a minute for him to receive a response; "they're on the West Coast, that's all I'm allowed to tell you."

He does not address any of the numerous questions asking him to clarify the Housemate's relationship with Dream or himself.

· FEBRUARY ·

@.dreams-housemate-updates changes their twitter handle to @.dreamnaps-housemate-updates. Their header also changes to the meme image of Bugs Bunny, pointing with both hands to the right, overlaid with the communist flag, with the words "Our Housemate" in the centre.

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@.YourTwitter: me and the boys at 2am looking for BEANS [Image ID: Y/N, Amandla, and the director of HELIX all posing on the red carpet for the Golden Globes.] | @.YourTwitter: BEANS acquired [Image ID: Two stills from the live broadcast of the Golden Globes, the first one being of Y/N and Amandla in the audience, leaning against one another and clutching each other, beaming and on the verge of tears as they are looking up, presumably at the stage. Y/N has their free hand up and partially covering their mouth. The second is of HELIX's director Robert Eggers on stage having just received the Golden Globe for Best Director of a Motion Picture. He has a hand to his heart and is using the Golden Globe itself in his other hand to point out into the crowd, presumably to Y/N and Amandla.]

HELIX was nominated for 5 Golden Globes in total, and won two; Best Director - Motion Picture, and Best Original Score - Motion Picture.

----

On Valentine's Day, you post one picture to your Instagram story. It's of a nondescript hotel bed covered in red rose petals. The duvet is black and neat, and the only caption you've added is white text highlighted with red in the top right corner; no shitposts today im actually in love.

----

It had been somewhat disheartening to be on set on Valentine's Day knowing you were so far from the two people you loved the most. It's been weeks since you were home, which only made it all the harder. The shoot went well, and you were glad to be messaging Dream and Sapnap through the day, even if you couldn't be near them.

Around lunch they tell you that they're sending flowers to your hotel, that it was meant to be a surprise but they'll need your room number, and that the hotel might call to confirm with you. As much as you love the gesture, it makes you miss them both even more, and you start browsing flights back to Florida on your phone in between takes, fantasizing about having the time to take off and see them.

The hotel calls in the afternoon, and you confirm that anything from your boyfriends has full permission to be placed in your room while you were gone. Sun will be setting in a few hours, there's no time left for your fantasy to come true, not if you wanted to remain professional.

There'd always be next year, you tell yourself.

You message to say that you miss them, and they respond in kind, both quick to assure you that there's always going to be more time, that one day wouldn't matter. Perhaps not in the long run, but today it felt like it did.

So when you get back to your hotel and see the rose petals on your bed, it feels too good to be true.

And when you catch sight of both Dream and Sapnap waiting patiently in the larger living space of the room, you feel yourself begin to tear up. They're both with you immediately, wrapping you up in their arms, endeared as they try and soothe you, murmur for you not to cry.

It's been a long day of heartache, thinking that you'd be without them, so it's all you can do to hold them tightly, a mess of laughter and cathartic tears as you tell them how much you love them both. You hadn't realised just how much you'd missed them until this moment, until you're peppering them with kisses and babbling about how this has gone from the worst day to maybe one of the best of your life.

"So far," Sapnap grins teasingly, kissing your temple. Dream echoes his words, echoes his tone, and you feel yourself growing flustered as your initial wave of shock and awe had died down.

Best day of your life, so far.

· MARCH ·

In early March 2021, the nominations for the 93rd Academy Awards are announced, and HELIX receives 6 nominations; Best Picture, Best Director, Best Original Score, Best Visual Effects, and Chris Evans is nominated for Best Supporting Actor. Controversy arises, however, as Y/N is also announced as a nominee for Best Actor.

A statement is released by the Academy the day after the nominees were announced, stating the decision as to which category they were nominated in was due to the technical broadness of the category, and that Y/N's team had been contacted prior to the nomination being confirmed.

A day after The Academy releases their statement, Y/N posts two updates to their Instagram story;

1. A blurry selfie taken in bed, sheet pulled up to their neck, giving the camera peace sign. Across their forehead reads 'its an honour to be nominated, im looking forward to the day that there's a category specifically for nonbinary actors and actresses so people like me don't have to be torn to shreds online when people try to acknowledge and appreciate us'.

2. A photo of a mostly empty plate sitting on their bedside table, covered in crumbs, with a knife and fork sitting in the middle. Their hand can be seen giving a thumbs up closer to the camera, and is captioned '"why didn't you respond before now its been two days????" sorry buddy i was getting my shit rocked and eating pancakes in bed. i knew it'd be a hot button issue online so i decided to celebrate the nom first. im allowed to celebrate my achievements ✌️'.

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@gnflmnop: you remember that one time @.YourTwitter tweeted about the dsmp right before their movie premiered and then Never Again? Did I hallucinate that? | @YourTwitter: my boyfriends bully me whenever I go to tweet about it :( | @YourTwitter: they're mad about who my favourite is (it goes back and forth but they're never happy with who I say 😔) | @.YourTwitter: if y'all knew my boys this would be so much funnier, I promise this is all v lighthearted. | @.gnflmnop: Who's your current fav?? | @.YourTwitter: @.Quackity 🥰 | @.Quackity: HOLY SHIT

· APRIL ·

HELIX ends up winning four of the six Oscars it's nominated for; Best Director, Best Visual Effects, Best Original Score, and Y/N wins Best Actor.

Transcript of Y/N's winning speech from the 93rd Academy Awards for their performance in HELIX:

Before I start, I need to say something to the people like me - non-binary and trans people like me - beyond this room, watching this live or in the future; hi! Look! We can see it now, you can see me; the world is changing and our future is bright! [Brief pause.] Now, on January 4th this year, my ex-manager told me I was an unhireable PR nightmare, and tonight he decides to text me; congrats on the nom, for your own sake don't start a twitter tirade when you lose, Anthony Hopkins is eighty seven, he can't fight back. [They are becoming audibly choked up.] To that I say; don't you wish you put your energy into something useful? [Pause as they compose themselves.] Which is why I'm up here, thanking my amazing manager who actually believes in me, our whole incredible team behind HELIX, especially Rob and Amandla - you should both be up here with me, because I wouldn't be here without either of you. [They take a moment to clutch the Oscar to their chest, looking overwhelmingly grateful.] And the only thing better than this is knowing I get to see my wonderful, supportive, damn amazing partners after. My favourite place in the world is at home with you both, I love you. [Sniffling, they give a watery laugh.] This is a moment, isn't it? This is our moment. Thank you.

Given the immense exposure of The Oscars, Y/N's speech quickly goes viral. The backlash from the conservative side of the internet is immense, however the outpouring of support still manages to dwarf it. It's seen as a cultural reset, with 'the world is changing and our future is bright' being painted across every LGBT+ corner of the internet. Also, both the polyamorous and nonbinary communities specifically appear to adopt the phrase 'this is our moment'.

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The following interaction occurred during a Just Chatting stream on Wilbur Soot's Twitch channel on the 30th of April, and can be found in the stream's VOD beginning at 53:46.

"Can I share something surreal with you all?" Wilbur asks, tone vaguely bemused as he was streaming with Tommy, Ranboo, and Philza, "lads, chat, can I share the most, I think unexpected reaction I've received after yesterday?"

"Unexpected how?" Ranboo snorts a laugh.

"Like, I think it was the emotion I was going for, but I never expected this person to contact me?"

"Oh interesting, who was it?" Tommy asked excitedly.

"Well, I mean, there's weird ways the SMP kind of breaches containment that makes me think 'ah, people lying for attention on the internet again'," Wilbur begins, and is met with stifled giggles from the others, who seem to know exactly what he means by that sentiment, "which I don't necessarily know why I think that, since most times it's kind of innocuous or makes a roundabout kind of sense, like a politicians kid getting them to tweet at us, but there was something a few months back that I heard about and I was like 'that's absolute bullshit'."

"You do especially seem to get a few weird ones," Phil agrees.

"And I don't usually get star struck; I'm not trying to brag here, but I've had - well, we've all had - some pretty high profile encounters here and there," Wilbur's voice was rising in intensity, as the others voiced their agreement, "but there was an interaction a few months ago, and I kind of shot my shot since I don't use Twitter and had my Discord passed on to this person, and nothing really came of it."

"Who was it, man?!" Tommy groaned, frustrated by Wilbur building up the encounter, much to everyone else's amusement. Wilbur pauses for a moment.

"Yesterday I received my first message from Y/N since we'd connected on Discord, after months mind you, and it's a selfie of them giving me the thumbs up, whilst clearly crying -"

"What?!" Several of the others in the chat exclaimed, Wilbur clearly matching their confused, startled energy.

"Right?! And you wanna know what the caption was? Here, I'll read it to you guys, it says; Wilbur, why am I crying about minecraft ghost."

Silence.

Then;

"Three days ago they won an actual fucking Oscar; what reality am I in right now?" He crows, still clearly baffled.

"That can't be real," Ranboo announced, sounding a little dazed.

"Why is Y/N Y/L/N crying about minecraft ghost, Wilbur?" Tommy practically yelled, "we saw HELIX together with Tubbo the last time I was in Brighton, I refuse to believe fucking Woolfe shed real tears over Ghostbur!" Then, after a beat, "oh God, and it was my fault too! I need to start writing an apology," he's clearly half joking, and the others play along.

"The character Woolfe?"

"No, to Y/N themselves," Tommy says, adding, "maybe if I ask Dream nice enough he'll take it back."

Not long after this conversation occurred live, the following was posted to Twitter;

@.YourTwitter: ooh lads, me and my parasocial relationship might not survive this one omg @.WilburSoot @.philza @.tommyinnit @.ranboo | @.ranboo: [GIF from Y/N's award speech at The Oscars; Y/N is holding their award to their chest, standing behind a podium. The caption at the bottom reads 'This is a moment, isn't it?'.]

And;

@.Dream: despite wishful thinking, no celebrity tears based twitter campaign will make me take back certain SMP based events. in fact if you tried i think id just double down and say certain minecraft ghosts got what was coming to them | @.YourTwitter: @.YourTwitter | @.YourTwitter: see its that easy to @ me. &lt;3 | @.Dream: didn't you win an oscar? please get a hobby | @.YourTwitter: dont vague me just because ur mad ur not my favourite | @.Dream: @.YourTwitter You make me want to smack you sometimes. | @.YourTwitter: hot. dm me. | @.Dream: Why are you like this? | @.YourTwitter: for the bit. <3

· MAY ·

@.enbyhawke: @.DreamWasTaken @.YourTwitter the people have spoken. Link to the Change.org petition 'Let Y/N Join The DreamSMP'] | @.YourTwitter: @.Dream the people have spoken 😌 | @.Dream: @.YourTwitter the people need to be quiet, I already told you no in our DMs. | @.YourTwitter: [GIF from Mean Girls of Regina George, phone to her ear, caption at the bottom reading 'Boo, you whore.']

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Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply Category: Other Fandom: HELX (2020), Dream SMP Relationships: Woolfe (HELIX)/Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF) Characters: Woolfe (HELIX), Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF) Additional Tags: PWP, what is this lol, crack, based on a twitter post, Eric Andre Voice LET ME IN but its woolfe and the dsmp, Power Imbalance, hate fucking, choking, spit, reluctant bottoming, degradation, so close to just writing RPF but im pretending to have dignity, ch 1 is afab!Y/N, ch 2 is amab!Y/N, otherwise the chapters are identical, just like every other smut oneshot with Y/N or their nb characters lol, the Y/N fandom etiquette is beautiful tbh we all know what we're doing here, WAIT c!Dream IS LITERALLY JUST A YOUNG VERSION OF CHRIS EVAN'S CHARACTER OH MY GOD, DOWN TO THE EXPERIMENTING ON PEOPLE AND KILLING THEM AND BRINGING THEM BACK Language: English Series: Part 1 of isn't bite also touch (HELIXsmp) · Next Work -> Stats: Published: 05-15-2021 Words: 4863 Chapters: 2/2

i'll tell you my sins (and you can sharpen your knife) FullContakt

Summary: There's a price to pay for clear intentions. Woolfe understands the roles and rules of this place and is happy to call themselves a villain, however the one who originally chose that title isn't exactly willing to give it up, so Dream decides to find out exactly how far Woolfe is willing to go for it.

Notes: Y/N and Dream's one online interaction makes me laugh so fucking hard, they're both so chaotic, I don't know who is the one with the audacity here. I think they both have far too much. But anyways, since im lowkey obsessed with the few HELIX/DSMP crossovers we already have here (literally never cried as hard as i did finishing starslikerhinestones's Woolfe/Wilbur MASTERPIECE 'a hero's job is to die'. seriously if nothing else please read it for Hawke being THE BEST OLDER SIBLING to tommy, as long as you don't mind tragedy and heartbreak) ANYWAYS seeing that interaction between Y/N and dream just made me think that Woolfe and c!Dream would HATE each other so here, they beat the shit out of each other... and yeh fuck a bit. Enemies-to-enemies-who-hatefuck.

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Sapnap makes an offhand comment during a stream about how he's missing their housemate since they went to the UK. Dream seems to share this sentiment, joking 'and we didn't even get to swap them for George while they're gone, it's so unfair'. Both seem genuinely disheartened by the housemate's absence, but make a note of how proud they both are of everything the housemate has been doing.

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From May 20th to May 23rd, the 'PenisSMP' or 'PSMP' trends on Tumblr as a shitpost directed at the Minecraft YouTube community, that flourished on the oft overlooked blogging platform, was quickly co-opted and expounded upon by said community.

In amongst its colourful cast and rapidly developing lore, several real figures were included and adopted into the kayfabe, including current members of the DreamSMP such as Tommyinnit (given the alias 'Wife_Haver' in the PSMP), and ConnorEatsPants, with no significant alterations to his already established character whatsoever, just that he existed in this SMP too. Alongside them, Y/N was quickly adopted into the lore and cast of characters with the in-game alias of '4rs0n_R1sk', as first mentioned in user @.localtubboenthusiast's post;

localtubboenthusiast literally why is anyone surprised that fvckass blew up half the server?? why is ANYONE surprised they keep setting fires??? they were literally hand raised by 4rs0n_R1sk!!! #who is literally being played by one of the most chaotic actors of our generation #this is why dream didn't let Y/N join the dream SMP #hes a coward #psmp #penissmp #penismp #y/n y/l/n #4rs0n_r1sk #fvckass the sheep #fuckass the sheep

And the follow-up question they received;

Anonymous asked: WAIT HOLD UP THATS WHERE I KNOW 4RS0N'S VOICE??? ITS Y/N????

localtubboenthusiast answered: yeah apparently they're friends with penis irl and asked if they could join out of spite after the whole dream refusing to let them into the dsmp thing 😂 can't believe they literally don't even stream they're just there lol

#also in case it wasn't clear i AM a PenisUnavailable And ShittyFartBaby69 Are Actually Y/N's Boyfriends truther #4rs0n_R1sk #Y/N Y/L/N #PSMP #penismp #penissmp

Fanart of '4rs0n_R1sk' usually depicts Y/N as either their character Woolfe from HELIX, or Contakt from The New Mutants with a warm colour pallet and fire powers. They are usually drawn with 'Fvckass the Sheep', 'PenisUnavailable', or 'TurboThruster'.

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@.YourTwitter: went to dublin and all I got was spit on. they give you exactly what you ask for here, amazing customer service 🥰 | @.Ic3_Squared: Hey bestie some thoughts should stay in your head ❤️

· JUNE ·

I Spent A Day With DREAM was posted to YouTube by Anthony Padilla on the 9th of June, and the following exchange begins around minute 5;

Dream: God it's so weird, actually, because there's been these huge changes in my personal life that have happened, like, parallel to the whole YouTube thing, but are still significantly effected by it, if that makes sense? Anthony: What kind of changes to do you mean? Dream: Like, uh, I'm not fully sure if I'm able to talk about this, though I guess if this bit makes it into the video I've confirmed that I am allowed to actually talk about it, [Dream laughs] but I feel very lucky to currently be in the best relationship of my life, but like, I feel like that would have happened, like me- me and my- you know, [Dream stumbles over his words a little, as if to purposefully dance around the precise wording of the relationship] that would still be happened even if I never blew up.

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📌 Pinned Tweet @.dreamnaps-housemate-updates: If Dream is dating his housemate that would be news to us too. We don't have any more information than anyone else on this matter. Please stop asking us, thank you.

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On June 26th Twitter user @.goldenghostgirl asks you if you'd be watching Minecraft Championship (Pride), and who you'd be watching. You respond less than half an hour later with three consecutive tweets; 'me and my parasocial relationship will be watching pink parrots 😌🦜💓', then 'only because @.smajor didnt invite me to play which isn't his fault since he doesn't know I'm secretly very good at minecraft.... but just so you know... for next pride... 👀 👉👈' and finally 'im actually being legit here, minecraft as a game is far bigger in our house than I really let on, I'd love to prove my boyfriends' mentoring has paid off 💖'.

For MCC Pride, the team Pink Parrots is made up of SolidarityGaming, Grian, Wilbur Soot, and Technoblade. Highlights from their team during the event include;

Wilbur makes a point to say hello to Y/N at the beginning of the event as he figures they're probably watching. When providing clarification for the situation to the rest of his team in the VC he refers to it as 'mutually parasocial'. Wilbur also jokes about becoming an honourary member of Y/N's polycule. Y/N does not publically comment on any of this; it is not made clear if they saw it.

Technoblade mentions that Dream has been DMing him during the event, and that both he, and his housemate who isn't Sapnap, but is just happy to be here, are cheering them on.

Wilbur's fire alarm chirping aggressively, much to his growing frustration, until he has to disconnect as there is apparently an actual fire emergency in his building. He had to talk to the firefighters who arrived on scene in order to confirm that he was safe to re-enter the building. He is able to rejoin MCC.

In Wilbur's absence, there are several suggestions for a temporary replacement; Technoblade suggests Dream, Grian mentions that Y/N has put their hand up on Twitter, while Wilbur himself suggests Philza Minecraft. Philza ultimately becomes Wilbur's temporary replacement.

Philza breaking down with laughter when he reads your follow up tweet; "Don't look at me, I retract my statement. Coach, I was wrong I'm not ready for the big leagues, you shouldn't put me on. If you have the choice of Philza Minecraft of course you choose Philza Minecraft." He then adds, as his laughter dies down, that he understands now why Wilbur had called his interactions with you 'surreal'.

After the event concluded, you post one final tweet; "if any interviewer ever brings up today I WILL lie."

· JULY ·

On July 14, the final episode of Loki is released on Disney+. During one of the final scenes, after the timelines have all split and Loki is making his way to try and warn Mobius about what had happened, we see Y/N being dragged through the facility, clearly reprising their role as the mutant Contakt (Itta Marie) from 2020's New Mutants.

An hour after the premiere of the episode, Y/N tweeted twice;

1. 'oh yeah lol should update my IMDB about that'.

2. 'nd yeah dad acquired, for those keeping score at home' [Image ID: Y/N and Tom Hiddleston in costume as their respective characters Contakt and Loki on the set of the Loki series. They appear to be in an animated discussion between takes.

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@.YourTwitter: there's no irl sdcc so no-one can stop me from cosplaying and doing some sort of Q&a.. need suggestions. And questions.

@.YourTwitter: imagine if I became a twitch streamer lol. anyways q&a here [Link to user PR Nightmare on Twitch.]

"Tommyinnit in my chat? Is this real?" You found yourself beaming with delight, "do you wanna join? DM me your Discord on Twitter, you're awesome, dude!"

"Are you cosplaying Ghostbur?" Is the first thing Tommy asks the minute you voice call him.

"I am!" You tell him with delight.

"Why?"

"I miss him," you admit freely. Tommy snorts a laugh, but the conversation trails off until, "it's so cool to talk to you finally, both my boyfriends speak so very highly of you."

"You're... a fan of mine?"

"I like your videos, yeah," you agree without hesitation, "and your arc is super compelling to watch on the SMP."

Tommy goes very quiet for several long moments before you hear faintly 'ow... ow... ow...'.

"Are you okay?" You ask, concerned, and Tommy hums for a moment.

"Sorry, just had to pinch myself a few times," then even as your laughing fondly, he continues, "still not convinced this is a real conversation I'm having."

----

@.dreamnaps-housemate-updates posted a clip from Sapnap's then-latest Minecraft stream on July 28th with the caption 'i love the way they love';

"What's been your favourite part of living with me so far?" Dream's voice is saccharine and teasing as he asks Sapnap live on stream.

"God, you're so needy," Sapnap laughs, though his tone is fond. While his focus remains primarily on his screen where he's playing Minecraft, occasionally his gaze will flick to something to his left, off camera.

"Thank you," Dream sounds quite smug, "but is that really your favourite?" In the silence that follows, Dream's tone takes on that saccharine tone as he prompts again.

"I mean if you twist it the right way, like with the right words," Sapnap sounds uncharacteristically soft, almost embarrassed, and seems to be intently focusing on his game with a faint flush to his cheeks.

"Twist what? Me being needy?" Dream half laughs, but Sapnap continues, sincere.

"I mean, I obviously wouldn't actually word it like that, but you're obviously the best part of living with you," he admits, a warm silence follows, and finally Sapnap looks directly at whatever is to his left, though he still appears to be addressing Dream when he speaks; "I'm not mentioning our housemate because they already look like they're a half second away from saying something emotional despite the fact that I'm live," he warns pointedly with a grin, as if to stave off the housemate in question. Then, after a moment, he softens his tone and expression considerably, practically radiating affection, "but you're the other best part about living here."

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@.StardewwSoot: how long have @.YouTwitter and @.Callahan been mutuals? 👀👀

· AUGUST ·

@.YourTwitter: in Switzerland, finally able to add another Hot Hollywood Dad to my collection of father figures @.VancityReynolds

@.YourTwitter: ALSO PREMIERE OF FREE GUY AT THE LOCARNO FILM FESTIVAL!! DEFINITELY SHOULD HAVE LEAD WITH THAT!!

----

During an interview as part of Free Guy's press junket, an interviewer asks Joe Keery and Ryan Reynolds if either of them had met Y/N's partners.

"No, but I'm sure they're having a great time in Canada with my high school girlfriend," Ryan says without missing a beat as his younger costars break out in laughter. All three of them are grinning, a clearly easy comradery between them all, even as Y/N gives him a shove and insists their boyfriends are real. "Oh yeah, then what are their names?"

"I wish I could tell you, but I literally can't," you admit, a little sheepish, even as Ryan loudly proclaims that you're not making a strong case for yourself, "I wish- dude, I promise I wish I could tell you, but you wouldn't even begin to believe why I can't!" You insist once more.

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@.yourtwitter: my toxic trait is every time I miss my boyfriends I read fanfiction about them and send them links to my favourites | @.yourtwitter: the reviews are in folks

[screenshot of a group chat titled '🎉 No Noise Complaints Since 8/23 🎉'. cat daddy: [screenshot of above tweet] cat daddy: your toxic trait is being funny when we're not able to publicly respond H0TB0I: your toxic trait is never specifying when you're missing us or being a menace Ryan Reynolds Lover: ????? cat daddy: @H0TB0I cranky because you skipped the tags and read mpreg aren't you Ryan Reynolds Lover: oh lol yeah no I was just being a menace when I sent that sorry 😅❤]

| @.asheeberree: WAIT PEOPLE WRITE FANFICTION ABOUT YOUR BOYFRIENDS??? WHO ARE YOU DATING??

Less than an hour later, Sapnap tweets out "our housemate just said 'pass me your phone I want to cause problems on purpose' so that's the only context I can give for whatever the next tweet is ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯" less than three minutes later, the following tweet is posted to Sapnap's alt account:

@.sapnapalt: dreamnap housemate here hello sap's twitter, I have a question. why are y'all sleeping on omega!dream and alpha!sap as concepts? I'm absconding with his phone so you have time to answer and I can see your responses before he deletes this 😘

· SEPTEMBER ·

A selection of articles and quizzes from Buzzfeed.com tagged Y/N Y/L/N in the month of September, 2021;

If Ever We Have To Elect A Representative For All Millennials, Here's My Pitch For It To Be Y/N

(Quiz) Plan Your Mission And I'll Tell You Who In The Mandolorian's Crew Would Be Your Bestie

10 Most Plausible Potential Secret Beaus For Y/N (And The Hottest Fanfiction For Each To Prove It)

(Quiz) Plan Your Ideal Date To Find Out Which Of Y/N's Hot Hollywood Father Figures Is Your Daddy

This Talented Artist Does Everything Right In Their Artwork Showcasing Their Fancast for The Breakfast Club In 2021

· OCTOBER ·

On October 3rd, you tweeted in rapid succession 'Callahan's my best friend now', 'hacker voice: im in', '@.Quackity heyyyy what are u doing rn? u free buddy?' and then a link to your Twitch account, where you were live on the Dream SMP.

The following is one of many short clips that you liked on Twitter after your Stream ended;

"Hey look at you go," Quackity laughs "you know your way around here better than I do; you weren't lying about watching us it seems."

"Yeah, well I play quite a bit with my boyfriends, since it's something they're really into, and they really got me into the SMP in the first place; they've been invested in this since day one," you said, smiling warmly before you leaned close to your camera and mic, "and now chat, you're gonna go ahead and clip that for me, and post it to twitter, so they can see it."

----

Dream and Sapnap both post photos to Instagram of several Halloween costumes they wear together. Most of the photos are just of the two of them, always with Dream entirely covered to continue obscuring his identity, but the final photo of both photosets is one of the housemate, for the first time in record.

They appear to be wearing a black hoodie, black gloves, black jeans, and appear to have borrowed the mask Dream has worn previously.

In Dream's Instagram post, the housemate is looking directly down into the digital camera they have around their neck, clearly having been taking the photos for Dream and Sapnap. The mask is lifted off of their face and sits on top of their head, however with the angle they are looking, the mask completely obscures their face and smiles directly at the camera.

In Sapnap's post, the setting is different to any of the other photos, as it appears to have been taken in a living room. Dream is still wearing the black hoodie and Squid Game mask, while the housemate appears to have fallen asleep with their head in his lap. Dream's mask is on the arm of the sofa, as is what appears to be a bright green hoodie. The housemate's hood is up while they're laying with their back to the camera so their face isn't visible. Dream is resting a hand on their hip and has his phone in the other, seemingly still using it despite his mask.

On Halloween itself, Y/N posts an image of themselves against a black wall dressed the same way as Dream appears in a few of the earlier photos he'd posted of himself, with a green hoodie, completed with a large, white, smiling mask. Both on Instagram and Twitter the photos is captioned 'this is my official apology to @.DreamWasTaken for breaking into his server'. Dream responds on Twitter telling you 'you're on thin ice....... lucky you're almost as cute as i am in that fit'.

· NOVEMBER ·

On November 11th, the trailer for the 15th season of sitcom 'It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia' is uploaded across the series' various social media platforms. The clip, that lasts just over one minute, appears to take place in Dublin, and includes indications that Y/N will play a reoccurring character throughout the season.

The two most notable clips are;

'Sweet Dee' seems gleeful as she informs Y/N that they are a great assistant, before immediately spitting upon them.

And;

"So we need you to clarify which of us is gay -" Dennis posed the question to Y/N standing close beside his sister.

"Mac, right? He's the gay, isn't he?"

"Yes," Dennis frowns, "but he likes men, and you are -" he gestures to their body, "not. However, if we," he gestures between himself and Dee, "both are trying to sleep with you, then one of us is gay," he paused, visibly deliberating, "or, well, not gay, but also not straight, since that would make this much easier for me, but for me to be straight you'd have to be a woman and you are -" again, he gestures to their body, "not..." Dennis clasped his hands together, tone growing almost furiously frustrated, as if at Y/N themselves, "so now, you beguiling little minx, have made us both potentially neither gay nor straight, you have turned us into Schrodinger's Fruits!" Waiting, breathing hard at the end of his outburst, it cuts to Y/N, visibly confused by the situation, brow furrowed.

Not long after the clips are posted, you retweet it with the caption 'show with the most BDE (big dad energy)' and a photo of yourself on set in Dublin in the middle of a cheesy group hug between the five lead actors of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Not long after, the show's official twitter responds with;

@.AlwaysSunny: Welcome to the family! [ID: Four stills from the upcoming season of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia; 1. Dennis clearly having taken Y/N by surprise, grabbing them by the shoulders and kissing them. Neither appears to be enjoying themselves; Dennis's entire expression is scrunched up like he's smelled something awful, while Y/N is so tense their arms are throw out to the side. 2. Dee and Y/N nose to nose, both staring intensely into each others eyes, the tips of their tongues awkwardly touching where they're poking out of their otherwise closed mouthes. 3. Charlie and Y/N both covered in mud, fully clothes in a bog up to their waists, passionately making out. 4. Mac leaning against a bar counter from behind it, beaming brightly at Y/N who is slouched at the back. Mac is gesturing proudly to four different coloured liquor bottles lined up in the order yellow, white, purple, black, thus making a side-on nonbinary flag. Y/N is giving the display a tired smile.]

----

@.YourTwitter: I honestly can't believe that on Halloween I celebrated a year with my dream boi, and like a week later I got to celebrate again with hot boi, just before the anniversary of HELIX. | @.YourTwitter: everything has happened so much this year, Im so proud of all the wonderful people in my life and all the projects we've worked so hard on!! | @.YourTwitter: omg this might have been the best year of my life..... | @.Dream: so far. | @.Sapnap: So far. | @.YourTwitter: @.Sapnap @.Dream ur both so right,, best year of my life So Far 😌

· DECEMBER ·

December 2021 is surprisingly quiet.

At the beginning of the month you announce that since you've actually got some time off, you're going to be stepping back from social media to focus on spending time on your partners and yourself. Many voice their support for you, including both Dream and Sapnap.

Sapnap streams far more frequently than Dream, and it's notable that he seems incredibly bright in all December streams, even moreso than usual.

Dream does two Twitter Spaces during the month, and in both he sounds practically giddy, explaining that both he and Sapnap are glad to have their housemate home for the holidays.

----

The Archive Of Our Own tag 'Clay | Dream/Sapnap/HousemateWasTaken' has 98 works by the end of 2021. The fanfiction with the highest kudos in this tag is 'Tommy's Guide to Imports and Exports', which is part 3 of user alliumc4t's series 'The Kids Aren't Alright'. This series revolves around the romantic relationship between Dream, Sapnap, and their housemate, whilst also becoming legal guardians of Tommyinnit, Tubbo_, and Ranboo. The series is still labelled as ongoing, and contains the following fics;

'Ohana' Isn't A Real Word

Blessed Be The Boys Time Can't Capture

Tommy's Guide to Import and Exports

Time's Arrow (The Achilles Heel)

The Only Normal Person In This Whole Damn Building

Flags and Other Decorations

----

And finally, to book end the year, Y/N posted the following Tweet just after midnight on New Year's Eve:

For all you asking, the boys were each other's New Year's kiss, I gave our cat a smooch on her little fuzzy noggin. Good start to the year all around. 💖

[simmancy]

Happy Spooky Season, pumpkaboos! 

Here’s what’s happening this month / going forward on simmancy-dot-tumblr-dot-com.

𝙷𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚘 𝚗𝚎𝚠 𝚏𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚜! 👋

Hi there if you’re new! My name is Kit, I am 32 now, this is my simblr, I am active on and off. If any of that bothers you, unfollow, it's okay! If you're here because I posted a mod list or a random piece of CC you like, then I have good news - I do those things occasionally! When I am actively posting, I usually dabble in gameplay. I don't do much storytelling anymore because... well, I don't have the time!

𝚂𝚒𝚖𝚋𝚕𝚛𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚂𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚍𝚞𝚕𝚎 🍬

I have SOME stuff I've been poking at in my ~spare time~. I love Simblreen, it's the best time of the year imo and it's just... a tradition. It's a tradition. So I'm going to try 🤞

I have been writing out a mod list centered around occults/spooky gameplay at least. So that's seasonally appropriate????? If you have a mod list request hit my inbox because I still fucking LOVE WCIFs and that's a sort of WCIF.

𝙾𝚌𝚝𝚘𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝙲𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝 🎃

This year (and likely going forward), I'm going to try to use my blog to showcase the community. There's SO many cool things in the ts4 tag!! So I've been scouring it at the dead of night to refill my queue 👻 That's what you can mainly expect this month. No CAS challenges, no CC challenges, just some creepies and kookies from others around simblr.

𝚁𝚎𝚐𝚞𝚕𝚊𝚛 𝙲𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝 🌕

Hi regular followers!! I’m so sorry if you've been here a long time, because I don't have much updates on my ~classic~ gameplays and saves and they just...... won't be. For a while.

Not So Perry... I have a bit of Gen 4 but I haven't played in a whiiiiile so. I might revisit that/redo/we'll see.

Star x Crossed is indefinitely on hold - I will probably revise how that was posting because the full episodes just aren't possible right now. I might do it more as like... an edit type thing, where the edits tell the stories or whatever. It SUCKS because I had really big hopes and dreams for that save and instead I... had a child.

The Nobel ABCs will return because I have 10 generations done in game. I just need to queue.

Maggie's Wonderful Life WILL eventually be done LMAO. I'm hoping to get back into that save soonish. I LOVE farming gameplay! So I want to play/finish it. I had about half of the introductions shot before I got distracted with other things and then... well. yeah.

New saves? When I manage to play, I play a lot of newer saves LMAO. Mostly because when I have time right now I need... something easy.

𝙻𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚄𝚙𝚍𝚊𝚝𝚎 🔮

I decided I like doing this once a year Simmancy Newsletter during my favorite time of the year. Halloween remains the BEST season, and there's also no guarantee I won't drop off the face of the planet again.

Obv the main thing is that, as previously stated, I had a baby. A whole ass baby. She's now 3 months old, and she is so much in the best way. We're currently teething and if you're like "Kit that seems a bit early," you're absolutely right but this is the lot I've drawn in life. She likes to be sat up, and stood up, and to talk to the Baby in the Mirror. She also is obsessed with trees and the cat. I know new moms are annoying and I'm absolutely that annoying new mom, I literally cannot shut up about her and therefore make my sims blog also about her.

I go back to work next month and I'm absolutely dreading it. Can I just be a sim and have someone press motherlode for me? Please?

Otherwise, there's very little in Kit World. The past 6 simblr years remain wonderful, and I've met some of my best friends on here. I go between BG3 and Sims when I have game time (which isn't a lot because Baby Simmancy is increasingly awake and mobile). I WISH I had more time to hang around here but maybe in a year or so.

Anyway, that’s my update of the year. Happy spooky season everybody! I hope it’s a good one!

Stay safe & spooky out there!

[wangxianficfinder]

Sorry to clog up your inbox with a query like this, but I couldn't find anything that helped. How do people break up paragraphs in asks? The ask form doesn't show it actually breaking them up whenever I press the "Enter" key. Does the "Enter" keystroke still apply despite that, or is it a matter of inputting the linebreak HTML code?

That's odd. Do you use Mobile or Desktop? Because it's working fine for me on Mobile when I press enter, both on and off anon.

I don't see why you would need an html code, it might be just a bug or something. Does it still not show a paragraph break when you hit space instead? I haven't had this problem so I don't know how to help exactly, sorry 😔

Anyone have any ideas?

- Mod C

--

alexseanchai: wangxianficfinder dot Tumblr dot com slash ask, or Tumblr dot com slash new slash ask slash wangxianficfinder? bc the ask box in dashboard mode has blocks now, same as the ask box in mobile app, and pressing Enter moves to a new block. I bet the character limit the other asker was asking about is only a problem in desktop site not in dashboard mode, too. Tumblr hasn't been subtle about wanting to get rid of customizable dot-tumblr-dot-com versions of people's tumblrs.

[kexing]

Hi, MJ, just saw your notes about being neurodivergent and mental health and trying, and i just wanted to add to that. I’m not autistic but I’ve been dealing with depression and anxiety since i was a teen and only just recently found out, in my early 40s, that what i thought my whole adult life was just me being LAZY and UNMOTIVATED and GENERALLY BAD AT ADULTING is probably me having executive dysfunction. I mean, i’m still a procrastinator at heart, but when i can’t bring myself to do THE THING even though i know i HAVE TO DO THE THING and every moment i spend NOT DOING THE THING fills me with anxiety? That’s my brain fucking me over.

I’m a public servant and my department has been very big on mental health since COVID and mandatory telework. But the message is always the same : you gotta eat well, sleep well and exercise. Like it’s that easy, like self-care doesn’t take a huge amount of effort when your brain doesn’t want to cooperate. Doing anything is hard for me because i have zero motivation and i can’t relate at all to things like Being Disciplined and Feeling Accomplished. Even things i enjoy! I’m behind on series i want to watch because i just can’t bring myself to press play and sit there and watch. So i rewatch the same series over and over again.

So my self-care is doing my best and trying not to compare myself to others. I get my work done on time (even if sometimes i have to get up earlier because i wasn’t productive the day before), i shower at least twice a week, i eat a vegetable a day. I pay my bills and my taxes. I vote. I’m not a danger to myself and/or to others. I’m alive. I’m alive. So if it takes me a week to unload the dishwasher and to load it up again with the week’s worth of dirty dishes, if i never fold my laundry, if i buy soup instead of cooking for myself, who the fuck cares?

Neurotypicals don’t get it, they don’t understand why we can’t just DO THE THING (like my dad, who loves me very much, but does not understand why i can’t just ‘cheer myself up’ when i ‘feel sad’). They don’t understand that in order to implement the tools (clean eating! sleep! exercise!) that might help us cope we need to have the motivation and the energy and the resources (therapy is fucking expensive!) to even try to make the effort. ‘It’s not that hard’ YES IT FUCKING IS.

So i just wanted to say, i see you, i understand your struggles, they are valid and so are you. I hope the people around you appreciate you and your efforts. I hope YOU appreciate you. Because you rock. Sending you lots of love. 💖

hello friend!!! i feel you. i suffer of severe executive dysfunction and honestly it just keeps getting worse which consequently makes me even more anxious 😩😩

exactly!!! eating well, sleeping well and exercising can definitely help you improve but when your brain simply refuses to do those tasks, it’s hell. and honestly, people who don’t live in a constant fight against their own brains have NO idea how it is. only the ones who know the struggle know what it takes to do the most basic things.

beloved :( i understand your struggles. i know i’m just a stranger running a silly little blog on tumblr dot com but i really do understand. i can motivate myself with fiction sometimes but real life? it’s just not for me and some days i feel so lost and yet so overwhelmed by how lost i feel, that it sends me into deep depressive episodes. i mean, i’m not clinically diagnosed with depression and anxiety but fuck if i haven’t struggled with those bitches my entire life.

(i have been thinking of getting a diagnosis and i thought about asking my dad for some financial help and you know what my mom said to me, “don’t even bother, he thinks you’re faking it”. i mean, not surprised at all but still a little disappointed.)

and you’re doing great!!! read this very carefully: YOU ARE DOING FUCKING AWESOME!!! you’re taking care of yourself and doing things at your own pace and you’re alive and not harming others. that’s just so so so much!!! and i’m proud of you for moving forward despite all the hardships!!!!

oh parents. they might love us but they rarely understand us. and that’s okay i guess. but don’t let that get to you. only YOU know what your brain can and can’t do. it is also NOT your fault that you have limitations, okay?? everyone does!!! we just happen to have more. but you’re not unlovable or a terrible person!!

you’re soooo right!! therapy and diagnoses are ridiculously expensive. at the end of the day, we’re usually alone carrying this massive invisible weight. and nobody can see how hard we try and how much it takes from us!!! sometimes being alive hurts and staying alive is the best we can do but we are still here!! despite everything that nobody gives us credit for. we are still here!!! i still need to work on my self love and acceptance but i don’t take it lightly how much i try to do things and i do appreciate the fact that i’m alive.

thank you SO much for reading my tags, for reaching out and sharing your experiences with me. you are incredible and i wholeheartedly mean this!

i tend to feel very lonely because most people around me don’t really understand me. it’s such an alienating feeling, sometimes it’s like i’m drowning in it. but i also know i’m not the only one who feels like this and your message does comfort me in that way.

so thank you SOOOOO much!!!! sending you lots and lots and lots of love right back!!!! and that you’re able to feel it across the distance between us and have a great week!!!!! ❤️💙

[showfall-costumes-department]

[Transcript received 10/21/23.]

[There’s inaudible yelling before a sentence can be made out.]

Danielle: “John, she’s upset about something, you can’t just ignore that!”

John: “I understand, but she still needs to eat!”

Danielle: “Get her something light, dude! You can’t just immediately start her on a hamburger like she’s been eating normally this whole time! Did you even ask what she wanted to eat?”

John: “She’s constantly shaking! She can barely hold things, Danielle, she needs food! Real food! Protein! This is the best I could do today!”

Jenny: “… I don’t need anything.”

[The two stop arguing at Jenny’s voice. Danielle is heard audibly crouching to Jenny’s level, the audio becoming clearer the closer she gets to the phone.]

Danielle: “Jenny, babe, yes you do… I swear we’re going to help you, if John would just listen to me about this for five minutes!”

[John is heard inhaling to respond, but is cut off.]

Jenny: “No, no, I’m fine, really—”

[Jenny yelps as a loud sound is heard in the distance.]

Danielle: “Shit, what was that?”

[John gets closer to Jenny, his voice finally lowered as Danielle creaks the door open.]

John: “… Jenny, you look sick, you act sick… You need to eat something.”

Jenny: “I don’t, I’ve been eating, I—”

[Both cut Jenny off, saying “bullshit” with similar tones.]

John: “Drinking water is not the same as eating well. All we’ve seen you eat recently is a small bag of chips, and only because Dani was going to cry.”

Jenny: “No, it’s just— I just—”

[The door closes as Danielle returns to sit next to Jenny.]

Danielle: “Shh… Girlie, I know something happened, but you need to take care of yourself…”

[John is heard muttering.]

John: “That’s what I’ve been saying, if you would listen…”

[There’s a pause, the loudest noise being the air conditioning.]

Danielle: “Jenny, I know you’re dealing with something. You don’t have to tell us what, but please just—”

[The device vibrates.]

Jenny: “… Oh, Rose posted again, I just need a little peek—”

Danielle: “Jenny, no!”

[Jenny had already picked up the phone before Danielle could stop her. She is heard tapping a notification.]

Danielle: “Shit, and you were doing so well with your cleanse…”

John: “She should be allowed to talk to her friends, Dani! That’s all the contact they have!”

Danielle: “It stresses her! I just wanted to help, John!”

[Jenny is heard as the two continue to argue.]

Jenny: “No, no, wait…”

John: “Well, I don’t think that was helping unfortunately, she’s obviously been missing them!”

Jenny: “No, god, no, this isn’t… No…!”

John: “Don’t you think cutting her off from her friends would make her worry more?!”

Jenny: “No, this…!”

Danielle: “Excuse me, but if you paid attention when I brought her in, she didn’t even say hello to you, she was too busy checking on one of her friend’s blogs on Tumblr dot com!”

John: “Well, yeah! Wouldn’t you after what she’s been through?!”

Jenny: “No, this is a joke or something! There’s no way!”

John: “She’s said several times now that her friend Edgar is important to her—“

[John’s voice gets cut out of the recording as Jenny lets out a loud, blood-curdling scream.]

Danielle: “Fucking—!! Holy shit!! Jenny, Jenny, woah, what happened?! Jenny, look at me, look at me!”

[Jenny inhales and coughs, choking on air, before screaming again, her voice carrying agony. A thud is heard as she drops the device, then she drops to her knees, unable to stay on the bench press table she was sat on. Danielle is heard frantically pacing around her after jumping up, trying to find a way to help.]

Danielle: “John, watch her, I’ll be right back!!”

[Danielle’s sprinting steps reverberate throughout the large gym before being drowned out again as Jenny begins to sob uncontrollably.]

John: “Jenny, hey, hey, it’s okay, I’m here, hey—”

Jenny: “Not anyone else! God, I can’t lose anyone else!”

[John yelps as Jenny grabs the front of his shirt, the fabric threatening to rip as she pulls him forward.]

Jenny: “Tell me it’s a joke!”

John: “What’s a joke?! What happened?!”

Jenny: “John, tell me he’s okay!”

John: “Who?! Who’s okay?!”

Jenny: “For fuck’s sake, John, if anything, tell me this is all a nightmare and I’m going to wake up! Maybe on the dock! Or really, wake me up in my office maybe! Anything! Just don’t let this be real!”

John: “I don’t know what’s happening, what do you mean?! Uh, uh, okay, Jenny, take a breath—”

Jenny: “I could have been there! I could have fucking been there! I was selfish again! God!!”

[Jenny screams again, John’s response cut out of the audio. Then, after a few seconds, there is a moment of pure pained silence. The device picks up a distant echo of a scream from outside. Jenny hyperventilates, unable to calm herself. Then, she stops. She goes eerily silent.]

Jenny: “… John.”

John: “Uh… Y-yeah…?”

Jenny: “… John… John… John, I… You…”

[Jenny struggles to breathe. She doesn’t continue what she seemed to want to say.]

John: “… Jenny, what happened…? You look like you’ve seen a ghost…”

Jenny: “… Maybe I have.”

[John can’t respond before the door to the gym slams open again. Danielle, out of breath, runs over to the two.]

Danielle: “I just ran and got a hot chocolate, granola bar, blanket, pillow… God… Holy shit…”

John: “… Nice endurance, I guess? Uh…”

[John trails off as his joke falls flat, supposedly looking at Jenny again.]

John: “… Jenny, what can I do to help you…?”

Jenny: “… There’s nothing. Nothing can be done anymore… Nobody’s there…”

Danielle: “Jenny, what went down…? That was terrifying…”

[Jenny doesn’t respond. There’s silence for about a minute.]

Danielle: “… Jenny…”

John: “… I think she fell asleep… She must have been low on energy and this just… broke her down.”

Danielle: “… Wow… Holy shit, I’ve never heard her raise her voice like that…”

[John hesitantly picks up the now darkened phone, placing it next to Jenny’s sleeping figure.]

John: “… I think that’s enough for tonight. I’ll… I’ll keep an eye on her, you go home.”

Danielle: “… If you’re sure… Good luck, John… If you need me, call me.”

John: “Sure thing.”

[The door to outside opens, then closes.]

[End transcript.]

[liesmyth]

i have been VERY inspired by @once-a-polecat posting lifting content on tumblr dot com so from now on i too will blabber about my jock side on here for fun and accountability. sorry! not

2023 goals for the first part of the year:

baby’s first full marathon - ideally in under 4 hours but i’ve been SLACKING training lately so we’ll see

getting my lifting numbers to where they were last june before I had to take a 6 months gym break. I was THIS close to a 100kg DL 1RM. I don’t really about squats but my bench press is ridiculously low and that needs to change

[raining-anonymously]

been thinking about how different aspects of my neurodivergency affect me in multiple ways.

for example—hyperfixation. easily one of my favorite things about my funky brain. sometimes (like this year), i’ll spend a while just feeling… blah. depressed, executive dysfunction, autistic burnout, dissociation, some combination… i don’t know. i felt like i wasn’t fully there and i didn’t know why or when it would stop.

and then i was thinking about the concept of characters that talk to their narrators and went, “hey, wasn’t there a game like that?” and proceeded to look it up. that was friday or saturday. now it’s thursday and ever since that moment i have been swimming in a mass of youtube and fandom wiki and tumblr art and ao3. basically, learning as much as i possibly could about the stanley parable and its history and its fandoms history in a few days. it’s been a while since i had that intense of a hyperfixation, and… whew.

it’s been great.

i’m happier, i’m more energetic, i can’t stop smiling, i’m not getting long periods where i can’t do anything fun productive for hours…

but it’s not all good either. like how my concentration’s been much worse whenever i have to think about anything unrelated. like how i’ve been staying up later. like how when i actually do go to bed, it takes me longer to fall asleep. like how i woke up so many times last night until i gave up on going back to bed. i’m restless and overexcited and needing to mask more.

do i want to go back to a week ago? hard no. i very much appreciate looking forward to the day again. but this was a good reminder that neurodivergency—even the “fun” and “cute” ones—is a nuanced experience. i do consider my adhd to be a disability, mostly because of the affect executive dysfunction has on me, but even when i’m having a high in some areas, i’m lower in others.

i don’t know if i had a point to writing this or if i just felt like getting introspective on tumblr dot com, but… here we are! thanks for reading and goodbye while i go read more stanley parable fanfictions / try to get my pressing responsibilities done.

(disclaimer: this is about my personal experience; i am not trying to say that everyone has hyperfixations/experiences adhd in this way.)