#NOBODY GETS HIM LIKE I DO BUT I FEEL THIS PERSON DOES!!!

[fangsandfeels]

It's not that Rook as a project manager/leader/decision-maker doesn't work or has no value. However, what bothers me is that Rook feels like they literally exist to fulfill that role, but they have no part in the story.

For instance, in DAO Warden ends up with the mission to save Ferelden because there is nobody else. The King is dead, their Grey Warden mentor is dead, everyone is too busy playing politics - and the Warden just happened to survive. However, at the same time, they also have stakes of their own. They all have their reasons to go on, to do all that:

Cousland: "I will find and kill Howe for what he did to my family"

Aeducan: "I will take back my throne from my traitor brother"

Tabris: "If darkspawn reach Denerim, nobody will bother to protect the Alienage, so I must do my best for Shianni and all the people there" // "I will kill every fucking shem in my way and I'm not letting the Blight take it from me"

Mahariel: "I lost my best friend to the taint and I almost died myself. I must make sure my people are safe from it, whatever it takes."

Amell: "I narrowly avoided the Rite of Tranquility in my own Circle and there is no place for me anywhere else, so I better get used to this Grey Warden thing" // "Fuck yeah! I got my freedom and no templars, no darkspawn will ruin it for me!"

Surana: "I narrowly avoided the Rite of Tranquility in my own Circle and there is no place for me anywhere else because I am a mage and as an elf I have slim chances of not being harassed in the first place. I really need to make this Grey Warden thing work."

Brosca: "I didn't survive this long just to die here. I will keep climbing out of this pit and nobody will ever look down on me"

These reasons make the Warden more than just a placeholder for team leader - they make the Warden a person with their unique struggles, motivations, and experiences.

In DAI, the Inquisitor is less detailed, but they are put in a unique situation - they have The Thing in their hand and now people think they're the Messiah. Also, the local Pope is dead, there is a gaping hole in the sky and people are losing their shit, and The Thing seems to be the key to dealing with all of that, so the Inquisitor literally has to be the leader.

(Let's ignore the fact that the Inquisitor is also appointed the leader because they can be conveniently turned into a scapegoat for the enraged mob should something go wrong.)

The Inquisitor can be a fierce believer committed to the cause. They can be a reluctant leader and a loud non-believer, but their motivation is clear: I'm dealing with this shit not just because it threatens the world, but also it affected me personally.

Rook, however? They lack that nuance and range. They join Varric behind the scenes for no other reason than "cuz saving our planet is a thing to do!". Moreover, somehow they instantly buy Varric's story that must sound like some tinfoil hat level insanity:

"Alright, so elven gods are real and one of them is hanging around right now and he wants to explode the Veil and drown the word in demons. Wanna join me and stop him? It'll be fun. Yeah, he is literally a god who can kill you in your sleep and you're the only person I've recruited so far, I think our odds are good."

After all, in DAO the darkspawn threat is obvious and very hard to ignore: Mahariel gets the firsthand experience, Aeducan and Brosca' city is literally under constant threat, and the rest of Wardens get a glimpse of what the darkspawn will do to Ferelden in Orzammar. There is no denying the necessity to fight them. But Solas, though? He is subtle. Racism and prejudice against elves play in his favor. The only people who understand the threat are the ones he revealed his secret to.

So, why does Rook join Varric without a shadow of doubt, especially if they aren't even exiled from their faction (more like asked to take a break)? They obviously has a place to return to and things to do, why get yourself involved?

In other words, Rook lacks personal reasons and deeper motivation to go after Solas, which makes them look inauthentic and awkward (even though they're supposed to be capable and skilled) because there is no essence to their interactions.

Moreover, there could be reasons.

Maybe, they lost someone due to Solas' machinations and actions, they realized that there was something mysterious about the tragedy and felt like they were going insane until they crossed paths with Varric who gave them answers.

Maybe they got framed by Solas' spies and lost their place in their faction, their political status, everything - so they literally have no other option but to start beef with a literal god.

Maybe they were one of the slaves freed by Solas' agents but realized that he expects them to die for him now, which rubbed them the wrong way.

It is a compelling reason: to find the mysterious and supposedly powerful being, to be able to thwart its scheming, to ask "Remember me?" right in their face or to demand answers. It's a powerful motivation to keep going, to gather allies and work with people. It would have even made Solas getting stuck in Rook's head more impactful and allowed for more personal and sharper conversations.

In fact, now I think that if Rook got absolutely wrecked due to Solas actions (as a collateral damage) and became a down on their luck depressed mess or a restless seeker of answers putting themselves into dangerous situations, it would have made for a much more protagonist.

What’s really jumping out at me on my second playthrough is that the writers of the first three games understood that your character was the main character. The Veilguard writers clearly thought that the main characters were their characters, the companions.

Every scene is about setting the companions up as cool or competent or sympathetic. Often, this is done at Rook’s expense. The companions get all the witty one-liners; Rook’s attempts at humor not only frequently fall flat, but are frequently called out for falling flat (even when they’re completely automatic and the player has no say in them).

The companions have all the knowledge and skills; Rook just brought them all together and gives them all pep talks so they can focus. I’m trying to edit out all of the comments where Rook is like “Um… what????” from my videos, and let me tell you, it takes WORK. There are A LOT of them. I can count on one hand the number of times when the Inquisitor or Hawke comes across as dumb, but it seems to be a built-in, unavoidable part of Rook’s character. I have not selected a single “purple” option in all of Act 1, and Rook is still coming across as the kid who tries to be the class clown to cover for the fact that he’s always confused. Rook’s role in most scenes is to say “Uhhh… what?” so that the companions look smart.

Rook is always the one offering sympathy and never the one getting it. No one actually comes to comfort you after Varric’s death. No one asks you how you’re feeling about having to lead the team now that Varric is gone. No one tries to reassure you or give you advice for dealing with the trickster god haunting your dreams. We’re told that Neve could keep Solas out of your head, but she never actually offers to do this for you. No one comforts a Shadow Dragon Rook when Minrathous is destroyed or a Grey Warden Rook when Weisshaupt is destroyed. Rook’s problems don’t matter. Only the problems of main characters matter.

Rook is a secondary character in their own story.

[virtualflowerbatathlete]

Weird opinion nobody asked me for:

Several things can be true at once when talking about Leo’s arc in HOO regarding romance.

NO, Leo did not need to resolve his self esteem issues and insecurities before he started dating. You don’t have to be fully mentally healthy to date someone or be in love (Look at Percabeth! Both of them were a mess when they started dating, but they grow together.) The implication that you need to be fully recovered from any mental illness or trauma before being “allowed” to date is a dangerous one.

BUT it was incredibly disheartening to watch these insecurities lead Leo to being in a relationship where he is not as happy as he hoped he would be, and even in some cases, being abused by a girlfriend who seems almost ashamed to be associated with Leo at all. Calypso’s irritation and snipes at Leo don’t feel at all like when couples like Percabeth or Solangelo tease each other. When Percabeth and Solangelo tease each other, there’s an undercurrent of genuine affection, and also a sense that the two are on even footing in the relationship; Nico can call Will his “significant annoyance,” and Will can call Nico his “little ball of darkness.” Annabeth calls Percy “Seaweed Brain,” and he can call her “Wise Girl.” But there is no even footing with Caleo. Leo is so desperate to make things work with her that he won’t fire back when Calypso insults his interests or personality. The relationship is volatile and imbalanced, and honestly, that feels like a far more tragic ending for Leo than him being single at the end of HOO.

ALSO it was fully possible for Leo to have an arch where he realizes that he doesn’t need romance to be happy, and later getting into a romantic relationship. (Hell, it could even happen in the same book) I deeply resent the takes where people somehow see both these things as mutually exclusive. As an example of this, over time, I learned that grades don’t define who I am, and that I can build my self worth outside of them. That doesn’t mean that I have to give up on getting good grades entirely. What that does mean is that I focus more on learning the material for my own benefit than trying to get the highest score, and strangely enough, my grades started going up. In the case of Leo, a character arc where he learned to love himself and not need a romantic relationship doesn’t mean that he would stop looking for one. Instead, he would seek meaningful connections with the people around him, one of which could bloom into a romantic relationship.

ALSO it would be fully possible for Leo to have this arc while in a romantic relationship with someone. While a partner can’t “fix” you, the people we love can open doors for us to learn and grow. Hell, in the books, we see this demonstrated with Leo and Jason. Leo confides an insecurity, and Jason challenges this insecurity. This causes Leo to think, and thus to grow. Yes, they were not canonically romantic, but my point still stands that this isn’t necessarily a journey Leo would need to do alone. He could have had a romantic partner who helped in his journey of learning to love himself.

ALSO the desire Rick, and by some extension we (the fandom) had in HOO to pair every single character off with their “perfect match” is one that should be questioned. I think that Rick and the fandom have come a long way, and I think TOA really played around with this concept in a very interesting way. But the strange implication I sometimes see is that Leo having no romantic partner must mean that it’s an unsatisfying arc. As an aroace person, the implication that life and stories are only satisfying if the person involved ends up with a romantic partner is disheartening.(I say this as a Valgrace shipper) If your first instinct when hearing a character is single or learning to love being single is to go, “OH GOD, THEY’RE ALL ALONE AND WILL NEVER BE HAPPY! THIS IS THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN FOR THEM!” Maybe, it’s time to examine the implications behind those thoughts.

ALSO shipping is fun and not that serious. If you like a ship, go for it. This is not me telling you not to ship Leo with anyone, as I said, I’m a huge Valgrace fan.

Anywho, if you want more extensive thoughts on Calypso, lemme know. Also feel free to add, I’m sure there’s even more nuance to talk about

[a34trgv2]

Writing Tips: How To Build Your World

When it comes to storytelling, the setting is a major component in keeping the audience engaged. It's where the main events of the story take place, where the rules and beliefs are established, and most importantly, where the characters call home. But how to you introduce the audience to this world without making it feel like a tedious lecture? Well, that's what we'll discuss in this post and by the end, I'm confident you'll have a greater appreciation for world building.

A prologue is a very genius way to not only hook the audience but also establish the main themes of the world at the start. Some of the best prologues in fiction are brief, well paced, and engaging enough to make it feel like a necessary and rewatchable part of the story. Take the opening to Iron Man (2008) as an example. Right before the title drops, we're introduced to Tony Stark, where he is, what the big threat it, and why we should care. It was a very clever visual to show that the terrorists that attacked Tony were using weapons made by his company before he got shrapnel lodged into his chest. This makes the conflict in the film more personal to Tony and gets the audience curious like him as to how they got ahold of his weapons and why they kidnapped him. Starting the story with an entertaining prologue is a great way to world build, but as the story continues so too does the world building.

Another great way to world build without stopping the story to a crawl is to incorporate natural dialogue. By that, I mean having the characters converse in the story like they would if this was happening in the real world. Nobody's going to give some info dump on what they can do in real life because that's such a waste of time. Rather, they'd cut to the chase by showing what they can do with a sentence being optional. That's how Knuckles facing off against Sonic in Sonic The Hedgehog 2 went. Natural dialogue is a great way to make the fantastical seem believable. Just look at series like Harry Potter, Kung Fu Panda, Avatar: The Last Airbender, or Steven Universe. They all take place in such fantastical worlds but the characters talk like normal people instead of caricatures to make it all seem believable. They also make the worlds so much fun to explore, which brings me to my next point.

Making the world feel big and lived in is key to getting audiences to want to go on the journey with the characters. By establishing how vast the land is, what kind of people live in it, and what the rules are, you're inviting the audience on a tour of this world you made up and giving them an experience they can't get anywhere else. This is very much the case with Middle Earth from The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit. In both the books and the movies, Middle Earth is shown to be their huge land full of vast landscapes, lived in communities, rich history, and gorgeous architecture. This is shown by the characters being taken on a journey through this world and discovering the wonders with the audience. Of course, not every story takes place in a world that's made up by the author. Often times, it takes place in a real city or country; or to burrow a quote from Stan Lee, "a reflection of the world right outside our window." There are many stories that take place (or inspired by) New York City, which each story offering it's own unique perspective on the Big Apple. Marvel's Daredevil depicts Hell's Kitchen as a grimy, crime ridden neighborhood while King Kong (1933) depicts it as this idealistic city that never sleeps. Element City from Elemental is clearly inspired by New York City with it's mix of different cultures coming together to form one big city and Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Time makes NYC in the roaring 20s look like this magical metropolis full of wonderous creatures. With so many different ways to depict New York City, it's not wonder it's such a popular urban settlement for tourists.

World building is such a fascinating part of storytelling that many take for granted. For aspiring writers, it's important to make sure you're doing it well enough and subtle enough so that it's not overbearing to the audience. Proper world building involves getting the audience hooked from the get go, having natural dialogue, and making the world feel lived in and rich in history. Even if it takes place in a real city or country, the world should still be a place you want to explore with the characters. To conclude, I hope you learned how intriguing world building is and how to make you setting come alive.

[distant--shadow]

Okay, I have three (3) thoughts about the state of cr's talkback shows atm and I've decided to write them in your ask box. Feel free to ignore:

I think the quality of the questions in the fireside chat was strongly linked to 4sd and, mainly, the tower of inquiry. As much as I like the idea of having a section where evergreen questions can be asked, they really lean towards the “what if the world was made of pudding?” genre of questions and I think that - combined with the attention that gets drawn to the questions by the Jenga game and the milque-toast-ness of the other questions on 4sd - has encouraged the fandom to discuss and focus on those questions more than we used to.

I also really miss the fact that talk machina had a presenter (who, for the sake of clarity, was fired for obvious reasons and I’m not, in any way, advocating for him to come back). The fact that both the presenter of 4sd and order of questions in the tower of inquiry and deep dive sections are random, means that whether the cast elaborate on their answers is up to chance. I feel like, with the cast being more detached from the fanbase than they used to (for good reason) there really should be someone on screen who knows what questions were answered in the past and can guide the conversation so that they don’t spend 10 minutes discussing “think about this AU” questions and then only give in-depth character analysis a single sentence before being distracted by a joke or running out of time. To be clear, this isn’t a criticism of the cast at all, you can’t both give really good, in-depth answers to questions while also coming up with your own follow-up questions and staying engaged in and shaping the discussion as a whole. I’d say Dani is the obvious pick for a presenter but I think her interests are more in the shippy/fanon side (which is fine, I’m not trying to police how anyone interacts with the show) so I’d prefer her questions to be interjections rather than the whole thing.

This campaign has had a significant percentage of it’s talkback shows taken up by overlap with other stuff (party splits, vox machina and the mighty nein getting their own eps, overlap with calamity and downfall etc.) and, in an ideal world, I’d want them to do separate that stuff out and do extra shows about that, rather than letting it eat into valuable question answering time for bells hells.

All this to say: if cr wants to make a talkback show specifically tailored to me, I'm down with them flying me out to America so I can host my new talkback show called “AU? No thank you!” where we exclusively talk about bells hells and all hypotheticals are banned. Nobody but me would enjoy it but I'm the main character of my story so...

appreciate you engaging and putting your thoughts out there via my inbox!

I agree with most of this, I can respect what they were trying with 4sd but yeah it did not deliver the meat that talks did, and I would love to have a simple discussion show like that back (at one point I would have suggested dani as host too, but if anything these fireside and 4sd eps have proven that she is way too fanon-brained/shipping inclined and I personally, can't stand when she interjects without being asked for an answer (though correcting lore is a different case and pretty much always appreciated))

I can deal with a little amount of what if the world was pudding type questions, but ultimately yeah, it does come across as "so what if we got a different story than the one you chose to give us?" there are cases when yeah maybe it wasn't as conscious as a decision or another factor where yeah, I would like to know the alternative, but i agree with ya there.

I will also say that yes, I do think the shape of the questions selected is in part to match the more laid back and goofy vibes of 4sd, the evergreen questions and such really are not a good choice and absolutely there wa sso much going on during this campaign that reaaaallly broke up the momentum (momentum which still managed to feel oppressive), but i would say I do also think an amount of it is just how modern fandom is, to sound like an old guy yelling at a cloud. so many things come into play here, parasocial stuff, attention spans, isolation and selfishness, populatiry contests within fandoms and how that births popular works/notions from fanon being perceived as canon law, etc etc.

as I keep saying, I want people to make, I want people to have fun, but it's a yeowch from me when that feeds back into the source material, or at least spin offs of it. I do think it is a case of both parties being somewhat guilty, ask baby questions get baby answers, if people engage with fanservice and it gets views then they're gonna cater to that because they need eyes on them to exist as a company. I'm really not the person to be doing the write ups about this, but i do think it's important to share my opinions on my most beloved piece of media, in some ways especially because I create so much "content" for it.

I've pretty much always felt like an outsider within fandom space, and whether that's because of what I want out of it, what I want to see for my favourite characters, or my behaviour, or my work - I don't know, but i do know that for years of watching this show I kept well away from the fandom space or even sharing my drawings caus I didn't want it to hinder my experience and enjoyment of watching, and when the stuff I've been trying to avoid is seeping it's way into the actual shows then yeah, it is something I wanna speak out on.

[flamesignite]

He listened to his words, waiting till he asked the question, of course he's thought about it. He doesn't just make decisions like this. He's never considered marrying someone before. He was scared at the thought of hurting someone he loved with his blood stained hands.

"Atem, I don't think you understand." He squeezes his hand. "We both have been through a lot in our time, and its obvious we feel like we don't deserve to be happy because of the pain we've caused people we've cared about. Yet, those people we love are still with us, still loving us and wanting to be near us. Do you ever think they would want us to be happy? I can say I never thought I deserved to be happy, but yet... here I am happy when I am with you. I had so much self hatred for myself and what I've done that I never let myself be happy with another person, but when I met you, I wanted to be happy, I wanted to enjoy every moment with you that I could." He admits softly.

"The guilt you feel still is understandable. I always feel it deep down, it never truly goes away, even if I wish it did. I really never thought I'd be able to think of marriage because I thought that was unreachable for a man like me." He swallows softly, squashing down the nervousness he felt.

"That was till I met you and you showed me differently, you showed me I was able to love and be loved by someone, no matter what flaws and choices I had to make in the past." He looks at him softly, but seriously.

"I've thought long and hard with my decision. I know what you've done, and I still accept you, flaws and all. No matter what you have done in your past and what we have went through when things happened between us, we worked it out and moved on from it. I still choose this, I still choose you, I want you. All of you. Some days will be tougher than others, but we're going to get through those days together."

He can understand why he was hesitant in all of this, because he felt like he didn't deserve it. Well, Roy is here to assure him that he does deserve it.

"I could say the same, do you really want someone like me after all that I've done? You kept telling me that these blood stained hands deserve to hold the man I love. What's the difference? You deserve this just as much as I do. I want to be with you, through sickness and health, till death do us part. I want that with you, Atem. I love you. I love you, Atem. So much." He squeezes his hand again, this time hoping he'd look at him in the eyes.

"I've thought long and hard, Atem. I want to marry you. There's nobody else I wish to marry."

"No, listen to me, please." Atem kept his gaze down and away, unable to bring himself to look at Roy at the moment. "I don't think you understand what you're saying. It's because you mean everything to me that I want you to know what you're getting yourself into, what you're asking here. This is a mere human you're asking to vow your life to, yes, but... Are you really sure? Me?" His hand began to tremble in his Colonel's hand.

"I've... kept you from your own world, I've hurt you so many times, I've caused you to put your own feelings on hold because I can't keep up. I've... been a terrible husband in the past. I've hurt so many around me, those I've considered near and dear to me. I was too late to save the life of someone I wanted to walk down the aisle with. I have enemies all around, and even came close to death so many times. Never mind I have this dark... thing inside of me that completely exposed me and nearly hurt you. Stop feeling for once and think! Is that what you really want? Someone like that?"

He closed his eyes, feeling his whole body start to tremble and his chest to hurt even more. "You can say it, and I can say it... as much as we want that we want to be happy... but it means nothing if I haven't done a thing to deserve it. I may... say I want to be happy, but honestly... I know that I've done far too much to others to even think about such a thing. Please, just..." He had completely looked away, keeping his head down so Roy couldn't attempt to read his eyes.

"Just think about what you're saying, who you're talking to. Is this really what you want?"

[wanderingmind867]

Ranking the Seven (plus Nico):

1. Nico di Angelo: Just…ever since I was a nine or ten year old boy reading Rick Riordan's books, Nico di Angelo was my anchor into the world of Percy Jackson. Lonely, an outcast, the one person everybody else shunned…he was always just a vessel for all my real pain and fear. He still is. All my loneliness and sadness and stress and anxiety…it can all be channeled into him.

And to think more about it, he really is just like me. He never opens up to others (same as me, he probably has a fear of judgement), he's got no real friends for most of the books (which is still true of me at 20, no friends except my dad), he's just…god, Nico di Angelo is the character in these books i've always loved most. And I wish he got all the happy things that I feel i haven't had yet.

Frank Zhang: Frank was like the second main character who always spoke to me. Not just because he was Canadian (although that certainly helped), but because he was a heavier set kid who didn't have many friends. His mother died; whereas mine was more just dying (dead now, of course). And I always did like how he was good with a bow and arrow. A ranged fighter with a preference towards support (despite how his looks make him appear), Frank Zhang had a lot of relatable aspects too.

Honestly, nobody in these books ever had a 1 for 1 backstory line up with me (it'd be incredibly bizarre if there was one, I suppose). But Frank and Nico are two of the ones who come closest to hitting me right in the heart. I definitely can see myself in them, and I love them both a lot.

Jason Grace: Jason is a character i've heard be called bland many times. But are you all reading the same books!? Jason Grace is not bland! He is the paragon of virtue, a great kid who always does what he thinks is right. And I really relate to his existential issues. He's a confused person. Is he Greek or Roman? Who is he? Where does he belong? Will he ever belong? A great many of those questions feel like they apply to me as well as to him, and that makes him all the more relatable.

Also, Jason seems to value order and fairness. I respect that. I, too, value order and consistency in my actions. Who doesn't? I'm that weird kid who liked my teachers ten times more than I liked my fellow students. I never got along with other kids. I always felt like I was somehow more mature in some ways. So that's why Jason Grace and Cyclops are like some of my favourite fictional teenagers. They remind me of myself.

Leo Valdez: I almost put Leo in front of Jason, but one thing changed my mind: I hate machinery and mechanics. Don't get me wrong: I like machines. As someone who's wasted way too much time talking to AI chatbots (and who always relates to characters like Vision or Red Tornado), I definitely like machines. But I don't like getting my hands dirty. Mechanics and hands on work was never my thing. So, you know, that was the deciding factor here.

Still, I really relate to Leo. His avoidant streak (which is super relatable), his insecurities about being the most useless member on the team (which is also relatable), even the fact that he covers his insecurites by acting overly confident and personable gets to me. Because while I don't do that one, I do understand all of Leo's insecurites. He's definitely one of my favourite characters.

Hazel Levesque: A girl from out of time. She doesn't quite fit in with this time period, and I can relate to that in some ways (i've always felt like an old soul myself). She's from New Orleans (possibly the one locale in the US that I really like, due to watching Disney's Princess and the Frog as a kid). She's even got magic powers, thus putting her in with the group of people I tend to like most in fiction: mages.

Hazel is a great character. She makes my top five because she appeals to almost all of my many interests. She was never my number one favourite, but she's definitely up there.

Piper McLean: I loved Piper's story. I don't like how native american stuff is never explored in US media (while up here in Canada, we at least get frequent documentaries and sitcoms stuff about indigenous people and culture). So just…whether it's fully accurate or not, props to Rick Riordan for even giving us Cherokee representation. I can't think of any other native characters in american media off the top of my head, so he's already succeeding because of that.

But I also really liked Piper for her struggles with being aphrodite's daughter, and with being a famous celebrity's kid. These things aren't all too relatable on the surface, but the way Rick Riordan wrote about them…god, you know it's good writing when i can grow to feel empathy and love for a character (even despite our many differences). So Piper is cool.

But I do have at least one minor complaint with her story: did her dad really have to forget she was a demigod? That part of the Lost Hero really let me down, and I still don't see the logic of having it happen. So that's why she's number six here.

Annabeth Chase: Annabeth is often relatable, but mostly just when i'm reading from her perspective. From her POV, I really do feel her. I really do love the chapters from her perspective. But when it's other characters talking about her or dealing with her…she is a lot less likeable. She can be downright rude to many characters.

I remember how she hated Tyson. She had decent reasons, but it still really got to me. I didn't like how her and percy started with a bit of an antagonistic attitude towards each other. I also never really felt too much of her issues in regards to her home life. I always kind of related to Frederick Chase, and so I never saw the issues with her home life. When we see it in The Titan's Curse, it seems downright pleasant. So I never understood her.

But let me make something kind of clear: Annabeth is way better following the Mark of Athena. In the Mark of Athena and House of Hades, i've loved her every scene. In all the previous books…it was a lot more love/hate. So I don't despise her (I would never go that far), but I just have some hangups that seem to be personal to me.

8. Percy Jackson: Oh, boy. This opinion is gonna be controversial, I already have that feeling. But i'm gonna stand firm here. Percy Jackson isn't that great. His supporting cast usually always outshines him. He's funny sometimes, sure. But think about his actions. He was just as judgmental towards Tyson as everyone else, at least initially. We read about him admitting he didn't like being related to him! And that action is just the tip of the iceberg.

He abandoned Calypso to rot on Ogygia (while Leo actually had the decency and moral fiber to rescue her). He didn't fulfill the dreams he said he believed in, either. He said he wanted the gods to claim all their kids, yet Camp Half-Blood only added maybe seven new cabins. That's not nearly good enough. That's half assing it. Look what Jason Grace did! He honoured all the gods, even if they were minor ones like Kympoleia! Anything Percy did, someone else did it ten times better!

And let's not forget Nico's treatment here! Percy also didn't seem to like Nico that much, considering he was way too easily annoyed by him (when there were far worse kids out there). Nico got screwed over by Percy, and I won't let that one go! Only one who screwed him over worse was his own sister (abandoning him for the hunters when she knew she was all he had)! But I digress. I just… Percy doesn't live up to any of the high potential set on him. Especially not when compared to the other seven.

So there are my rankings. I kind of feel like mine are probably going to end up sort of uncommon, but this is legitimately my opinions on each character. If anyone else wants to share their rankings, feel free to. At this point, i'm kind of interested to see what other people's opinions are.

[old-lemon-tree]

How the Old Guard Deals with Grief

How about headcanons on how the old guard deals with grief/loss? They've all experienced significant loss and we see glimpses of how they deal with it.. Dutch channeling each loved one's death into justification for his anger, Hosea's fond reminiscence of Bessie, and how Arthur avoids it, buries it and only speaks of it to his journal or in passing.

Requested by @kelpiekidd

Thank you for requesting this! I had fun writing these (fun!?!) it was very challenging but also extremely rewarding. I may have wordvomited all over this ops! I hope it makes sense.

TW: talk of death and grief.

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Arthur

When the wound is fresh he won’t cry about it. Not unless he’s sure he’s completely alone. Even then he would feel watched all the same, not realizing that feeling is his own pesky mind. If it happens, though, he’s not too pressed about it. The tears are already out, what’s he to do? Trying to wipe them off would just make him feel more guilty (of what? Nobody knows)

Isolating is not quite the word. He can’t very well take his sweet time coddling his aching heart, not when there’s people that needs feeding and depend completely on him. He will keep to himself more often, though. He will avoid the campfire and retire to his tent earlier, and he will eat at odd hours so nobody else is around the table, so he can avoid their worried looks. He doesn’t like to be looked at like he’s broken.

Mostly, he talks to his journal. All those words he feels he can’t string together with his voice turn out not so daft once he writes them down. He’ll be honest with himself in writing, nothing to hide from those pages, they’ve seen all of his ugliness already, they may as well see his sadness. He will write their name and a short goodbye, draw sketches of their face before time washes away the memory. Sometimes he will return to the page when the ache of loss comes biting in the night, or when he’s too far to go visit their grave. He’ll sketch a flower then, right above their name, to make up for the one he couldn’t bring in person.

He won’t talk about it with others for a while, but when he does, is only with Hosea. (and maybe Mary-Beth, but only if he doesn’t feel too much like a pathetic beast that day). Still, he won’t tell Hosea all that his journal gets to see. He’ll be pragmatic about it, practical. He won’t talk about feelings, he will talk about tasks. He’ll express frustration he can’t shoot as good recently because sometimes his hands shake. He'll lament that he hadn’t found the will to walk too far from camp to hunt them some better game. He won’t link those things with his grief, but he doesn’t need to. Hosea knows.

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Dutch

Somewhere down the line Dutch forgot that not everything he does needs to have a purpose. Grieving shouldn’t need other purpose than to stop feeling broken. But he can’t live with it if he doesn’t turn it into something he can do. Vengeance is the easiest and the one that serves him better anyway. He’d rather fantasize about Colm’s undoing, than lay in his bed at night and reckon with the fact he doesn't feel as broken as he should about Annabelle. He'd rather wander a cave and ramble about all the way everyone is wrong, than admit he’ll never again get to ask Hosea if he's doing the right thing.

His grief is spoken of only among closest ones, and once Hosea dies the number of those closest ones is drastically reduced. Mostly, he will talk about how much he misses. What he’s lost, what was there, what is now gone. He’ll miss their voice the most. Their face, that was theirs, he will live with forgetting it eventually, but their voice– when they spoke to him, in that moment their voice was for him. That was his. Most of his longing comes from how easy voices are to forget, much easier than words. So, in the end, all he’s left with is his own voice, parroting the words back at him.

Dutch has a hard time coming to terms with the fact not everything can be taken back once lost. America steals his freedom and he takes it back, Bronte steals his dignity and he takes it back. How is it fair that he can’t take life back from death as well. Dutch doesn’t think himself a God, not in the biblical sense at least, but it’s hard to accept how powerless he is in those situations.

Raw, unguarded emotions are something reserved for the moments right after death. There’s something in death being so close that makes him feel raw, like there’s nothing he could possibly hide anymore. He’ll get angry before he'll get sad, and they’ll both be equally destructive. He will break things, leash out on what he’ll perceive as guilty; his gun if it didn’t fire quick enough, or their deathbed for not keeping them alive. And only once the fury has simmered down he’d cry. Not always. Sometimes crying doesn’t feel like enough. Sometimes all he wants is to sit in the wake of his rage, thinking of how to turn the hollow in his chest into something with a purpose.

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Hosea

Hosea is open in how painful Bessie’s death was, in how much his life changed before and after her. The exact same difference goes for his grieving. He will never feel a pain as profound as he felt when Bessie passed. It’s not a lack of love or fondness, he will still feel sorrow. But now he is just incapable and unwilling of letting those feelings consume him, not again, not after her. Somehow selfishly, he’d like for that pain to only belong to her, no one else. Sometimes he fears going through the same with another would cheapen the feelings he had for her.

As soon as it happens, he’ll ask to be left alone. Which is unsettling for the man always first in line to comfort someone, but he’ll mean it, and he’ll be adamant about it. He needs the time to process what happened, he’s too dazed in the wake of it. Even before Bessie’s passing, death had an effect o him, like something utterly alien befell the Earth and he got left there to pick up the pieces. Loss is unsettling, as is the feeling of helplessness that washes over him in those moments. How does one cope with a thing so massive as the end of someone’s time.

He won’t cry, not after Bessie. Sometimes he’d joke he cried all his tears back then. Jokes. Yes, of those he still has plenty. Now the punchline has turned inwards, though. He’ll become the butt of his own jokes, the humor twisted meaner somehow, like he can’t let himself the benefit of too much pity. He’d hate if anyone pitied him, if he can help it, he’d rather they called him an idiot and moved on. Still, only because he’s flippant about it, doesn’t mean he will take it kindly if anyone takes it too far. God help him, Bill keeps testing him on that.

After, once the sharper edge of the pain has gone, he’ll come looking for comfort. An ear that would listen, a hand on his shoulder, just something to keep him grounded as he reminisces. He loves talking about the ones he’s lost. He may not had become a priest like he wanted, and never believed in any God up there, but that part of him that longs to celebrate the immortal soul is still there. And what better way to do that than telling stories, keeping the memories alive.

[eclipsecrowned]

rotating a shithead i am fascinated by in a narrative in dms and feeling like i am unburdening my soul.

[brainrotcharacters]

the easy grip on the knife. the leg over the seat. the hand over the other seat. the sassy "come get it" move. you know the bitch is smiling behind that mask even as he said the line.

[silusvesuius]

nnnnnnnnnnnnno maa'am

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

Okay challenge mode. You are a therapist and Eridan Ampora from Homestuck has just walked right out of his intro page into your office. How do you fix him?

put him and karkat in a room with a pile of stuff and tell them they can't leave until they've jumped into it and talked about their feelings

[itsafternoonpast5]

thinking about their friendship so hard

[tenrose]

I hate living in this world.

[andiv3r]

Having to block everyone who has "wincest dni" in their bio not because I ship wincest (because I have come to the conclusion that I actually don't) but because I do think it'd be fun to poke around at the very real weirdness of their relationship that I've noticed in the show so far. And I'm 99% sure that my poking around will get seen as shipping.

[giallos]

a truly terrible idea has latched hold of my gremlin brain which is, buck and tommy do break up so that buck can pursue eddie because either tommy thinks buck is in love with eddie or buck feels like he should be with eddie because everyone else keeps suggesting there's something more there BUT buck/eddie getting together changes their dynamic so much that neither of them are enjoying themselves (and they're worrying about losing what made their friendship so special because of all the changes to the dynamic) AND buck and tommy keep hooking up [air quotes] platonically (with tommy stumbling into inconvenient feelings and pining pathetically for buck while fucking him) while buck struggles to sort out intense feelings toward eddie (which obviously have to be romantic of course) vs. his calm, more settled feelings toward tommy (they're not as intense as his feelings about eddie so they can't possibly be romantic) blah blah long story slightly less long but buck realizes he's been in love with tommy the whole time and was having trouble separating strong but platonic feelings for eddie from his romantic feelings toward tommy and then tommy's like "newsflash asshole i've been in love with you the whole goddamn time"

i'll never write it because it's irredeemably stupid and i value my peace but it IS sitting in my hindbrain tormenting me right now

[lurking-latinist]

⛵