#NATM Napoleon Boneparte

[slashingdisneypasta]

Too handsome XD Just too handsome. Who gave him the right?? Especially the one on the top right- why does he have to eye fuck Amelia like that!?? 💣💣💣 Damn.

[slashingdisneypasta]

I'M SO GLAD YOU WERE INSPIRED BY MY WORK TO MAKE THIS. THIS ART IS SO CUTE!

Forgot what super witty caption I was gonna give this. You will look at my Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian self insert art. Smug bastards...

(Tagging @slashingdisneypasta because I was looking over some of their old NatM:BotS villain drabbles and such and I got inspired.)

(REBLOGS ENCOURAGED)

[slashingdisneypasta]

Imagine

"When I win your heart (Name), and I will win it, it will not be because of any trickery. It will be because you want me." (- Captain Killian 'Hook' Jones, OUAT) they say, then give you a smirk that was almost warm, and leave.

^ This ^ with you & the following villains :

CreepyPasta; Eyeless Jack, Laughing Jill, Nurse Ann, Offenderman, Puppeteer, Zalgo, etc.

Disney/Pixar; Captain Hook (i mean-), Charles F Muntz, Dr Facilier, Horned King, Jafar, Long John Silver, Maleficent, Professor Ratigan, Randall Boggs, Scar, Shan Yu, Shere Khan, etc.

Gotham; Edward Nygma/The Riddler, Fish Mooney, the Scarecrow, Lazlo Valentin/Professor Pyg, Victor Fries/Mr Freeze, etc.

Misc: Black Hat, Captain Hook (2002), Damien Dalgaard, Deucalion, Don Falcone (2022), Eris (S;LOTSS), Jack Bass, Lucius Malfoy, Mal/The Malevolent One (TDI;AS), Merle Dixon, Napoleon Boneparte (NATM), Owen/Wolf (TWD), Peter Hale, Spike/William Pratt, etc.

Once Upon A Time; Cruella De Vil, Hades, etc.

Horror; Candyman, Harper Alexander, Inkubus, Jerry Dandridge, Kieran Wilcox, Leslie Vernon, Mental Manny, Kenneth Chase/Jeffrey Hawk, Caleb Quinn, the Djinn, Tiffany Valentine, etc.

[slashingdisneypasta]

Incorrect Quote

Al, holding a gun to Larry's head: Any last requests, pig?

Larry: Uh, yeah, loosen the knot and let me go.

Ivan, Napoleon, and Al: *Look at eachother, confused* Oh...

Ivan, Napoleon, and Al: *All look to Kah* Do we let him go??

Kahmunrah:

Kahmunrah: Of course we don't let him go!!

[slashingdisneypasta]

Napoleon x Reader || Drabble

Plot: You’ve had a long, bad day and when the sun sets you just want some comforting from your partner Napoleon. ‘I need you to love me a little bit louder today.’ (Quote found on Pinterest)

Warnings: Exhaustion

Tags: @miss-understood

~

When you get to the museum for your nightguard shift, you genuinely find yourself wishing that this was a normal museum for once. Then at least you could sit back and sleep- but no, you have to make sure the exhibits don’t get themselves turned to dust, or go waltzing through DC for whatever reason. You never intended for this one to be a real job - just a way to get money. After all, you already have a first job and that’s what has already done your head in today, - but it’s another headache.

But, alas, even if you are 2 seconds from exploding, you do your job. You have to. It’s kind of life and death, for some. Here.

You lock up the creatures, set out a calculator for the Einstein’s, set up Kah and Al in front of the TV - what the two agree on to watch, you truly have no clue, and honestly, nor do you care tonight. As long as they’re not starting any riots for the next 9 hours, and not fighting, they can watch porn if they damn well please, -, turn on the Moon Landing video for the space sector and a million other little things like hotwiring that one motorbike that Custer likes to ride around on so it doesn’t work, thanking Amelia for helping you out with the Gallery, etc. Until you’re just strolling the halls on leaden legs, making sure you’ve done everything, and eventually-

Stopping.

You can’t go anymore.

“Ugh… “Even leaning against a wall is more effort than your legs are willing to make for you, bit your force yourself to stay up. You do allow yourself the mercy of closing your eyes, though; Putting yourself in your mind-bed. Feeling the covers, cool and forgiving, against your skin and pulling on your dream-pyjamas. Just a shirt and shots will do, you’re really not going to be picky right now. Just as long as they aren’t your confining guard uniform.

Next you turn your fantasy-TV on and flick over to the Discovery channel. Ohhh, how you would like that. Just to not use your brain- just watch animals in the savanna and listen to David Attenborough drone. God, that would be good.

Just as you’re starting to feel the tiniest bit better, crossing your arms and just resting your head against the wall, keeping yourself in that safe space in your head, you hear someone call your name and tug you right out of that chosen reality. Your eyes snap open, frustration lights up in your chest all over again, your last nerve for the day (And probably the next few, too) snapping. “Oh- My god- What!?”

Your blazing eyes land on Napoleon and Ivan- and immediately you feel guilty. The fire simmers still in your chest and your eyes still feel like they’re shooting bullets, but you feel terrible about it; Face falling as you push yourself - with much effort, - off the wall. “Oh guys I’m so sorry- I- “

Surprise flashes through your body as they look anything but mad. In fact, Ivan’s face is pulled into an expression of vague confusion- and concern, which is what shocks you. And, of course, Napoleon looks like he’s about to pop with worry. “Amour- l’ amoureux- Are you okay??”

“I- “

“They certainly don’t look okay… “Ivan speaks for you, which is just as well you suppose- you don’t know that you have the energy to explain. Napoleons eyes don’t leave your form, as you just sigh and cross your arms over your chest; Wincing as you lean back on the wall again.

“They look like they haven’t slept in 7 days and 7 nights, Ivan! They look like they’re dying! Y/N, my darling- “Napoleon, your lover, the only person you want with you right now but wouldn’t want to every bother with your nonsense, reaches forward and his hand just brushes your cheek but you immediately feel the touch pulling you back together. It takes everything in you not to close your eyes and sigh.

He's too good to you. He cares too much. And a lot of the time you wonder how you could possibly be a good suit to him; You swear you could never make him feel as good as he makes you feel.

But evidently that’s just what you need right now. Napoleon’s over-the-top love.

“You know that I would never want to say you look bad- never- truthfully, exhaustion suits you just as well as anything else amour- but are you quite alright?” he’s close to you now, and even though Ivan’s just a few feet away gazing now at a piece of art wobbling around at the far end of the hallway, it feels like it’s just you and Napoleon. “You can tell me. I will take care of everything.”

He looks like he could, and you can’t help but immediately trust him. “I’m just so tired.”

“That’s what I thought. Ivan-” Promptly, he turns to Ivan in that quick, comical way he does; Who turns slowly and raises those bushy brows of his. Yes? “You know what to do.”

Ivan nods, and turns to walk off, but he pauses. He turns to you, sets those deep, dark, heavy eyes onto you, and nods slowly- never breaking eye contact. His own way of saying he hopes you feel better soon, without words. You raise your hand daintily to waive, but Ivan doesn’t care about it and walks off. Well.

Turning back to Napoleon, your safe place, you feel vaguely confused. “What does he know to do- “

“Doesn’t matter. Come this way, amour, get off your feet. Would you like some tea? Coffee? We finally figured out how to use that ridiculous contraption in the kitchen, if you would like a poptart- I believe we have chocolate, strawberry… oh and an odd oreo flavour that I haven’t yet had the desire to test, but Al seems to enjoy it. But that imbecile will eat anything, so- “Napoleon ushers you to the nearest bench, and you actually moan when you sit down- which would be embarrassing, if you weren’t so exhausted. His jabbering sort of becomes background noise for a moment as you close your eyes, but quickly snap them open again when he goes to let you go and catch his arms. “- Mon ange?”

“I- I don’t need anything, thank you… Just you,” The tiniest smile slips across your lips as you look up at him (As he’s standing), a little pleading. You need him right now. Just, your boyfriend. Affection. Cuddles!- “Would you just sit with me, for now? Please?”

“Of course, mon coeur. Always. I am yours.” To your utter relief, Napoleon takes the seat beside you and you instantly stretch one arm through the crook of his and rest your head on his shoulder, closing your eyes again with a sigh. “Are you sure you do not want to talk about anything, though?”

“Yeah, I’m sure… I just… “Giving the weakest of shrugs, you hum. “Just maybe need you to love me a little louder tonight, baby… “Using all your strength, you lift your head from his shoulder in order to smile delicately up at him. “Think you can do that?”

He looks all-too happy to do so. Really, he looks at you so softly that you would know for sure that he loves you even if he didn’t tell you ever chance he gets. “I am all for you, amour~ “The man gives you a kiss on your forehead and you just about melt. Good god, this man- Truly a miracle worker. You already feel a million times better than before; You can feel all your stresses and frustrations burning to ash inside you.

As you rest your head back on his shoulder, eyes blissfully closed once again, not going to sleep but just soaking up the affection Napoleon is fully devoted to bestowing on you (One arm hugging your waist, fingers hugging your curves and rolls, while the other hand holds up yours and with a simple rub to your knuckles, proceeds to give each fingertip a gentle kiss- which really works. It doesn’t seem like it would, but, it feels like with every butterfly-gentle brush of his lips another bit of terrible exhaustion blinks out of existence and you’re revitalised) and the safety you feel just being alone with him, you faintly hear an announcement over the museum speakers laced in a heavy Russian accent.

“Okay, Prostolyudiny. I am your leader for the evening. Do not search for Y/N- they are no more on this night. Now listen to me, you are all to keep very quiet and keep to your allocated areas. And… “

Vaguely, you listen to Ivan’s monarchist dictations and feel concern that he’s taking over your job for the night, but when you lift your head once again to possibly take up that responsibility again- Napoleon presses a warm, suggestive kiss to your mouth; The kind that’s slow and perfect, not forceful and not leading to anything at all (Just kissing for kissing’s sake. Because he likes to kiss you and you like to kiss him and good god do you need it) and you forget all about it all again.

God, you love this man.

[slashingdisneypasta]

Incorrect Quote

At an after-hours, exhibit-only Smithsonian party, in a perfect world where the tablet has a broader range.

Al: This is my 'I'm available' face.

Napoleon: Well, s-stop it- my god. *Looks around nervously* People will think the shrimp are bad-

[slashingdisneypasta]

Ivan The Terrible... Napoleon Boneparte... and young Al Capone...

Made on BeFunky with Pixlr X and Moviescreenaps .

The NATM Rogues (Sans Kah, because we do not know his birthday)... pointing? I dunno, I'm in an NATM mood.

[slashingdisneypasta]

Incorrect Quote: The Time Ivan tried to Take Care of a 'Baby'

(Baby played by a Bag of Flour)

Ivan, after Napoleon asks him how its going: Yesterday, I actually had a dream my flour sack was abducted,

Ivan: ... *Thousand yard stare* And the kidnappers started sending me muffins in the mail...

Al's in the background laughing his evil ass off.

[slashingdisneypasta]

Incorrect Quote

*The NATM2 Rogues are playing a game of Family Feud.*

Napoleon, the host: *Reading off a card* In this bad economy, what might Santa have to do with one of his reindeers?

Ivan: -Eat one.

Napoleon: *Gasp*

Al: :D XD :D XD XD *YES Ivan!! High-five!*

Napoleon: You stop high-fiving him for zhat!!

[slashingdisneypasta]

Random Wallpapers and Lockscreens

Just a dump of wallpapers I've made because their aren't enough of any one fandom for a set, and I still kinda like these so I wanna post 'em! ^^ The two on the right side (The Hades and Jafar ones) are Disney/Horror crossovers, as you can see they bare popular Slasher quotes/tags. Hades' is the Halloween tagline and Jafar's is from A Nightmare On Elm Street.

Pictures found on: Google, kissthemgoodbye.com, probably some other places but i don't remember...

Made on/With: BeFunky.com and Pixlr.com

[slashingdisneypasta]

BACK to LIFE!

I love them. I love them a l o t. Ignore the title, I really didnt know what to call it. 

Quote by/From: Ken Kesey, One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest

Picture found: On MovieScreencaps.com mostly, I think

Made on / with: BeFunky and basic Lenovo laptop picture filters. 

[slashingdisneypasta]

MultiVillain x Reader || Drabbles

Plot: Okay, so this is how it goes. Reader’s in love with (Villain), and (Villain) is in love with them… but no one ever said it out loud, and now Reader is marrying someone else.

Includes: Napoleon Boneparte (Misc), Human!Oogie Boogie (Disney Villain), Oswald Cobblepot (Gotham), Slenderman (Creepypasta), The Clown (Horror Villains)

Warnings: Alcohol intake, talk and hints towards murder of course, and swearing. 

Notes:

Inspired by ‘Marry Me’ (Either by Thomas Rhett [The guy’s POV which is what this will be in] or Elle Mears [Your POV, if you wanna see how Reader’s thinking]) and I recommend you listen while you read! ^^

I’m so happy!! I finally wrote something more then headcanons for Oogie! And this is also my first time writing for the Clown, so be easy on me XD

I hope you like this- I for one, am actually pretty proud of it! 

~~~

Napoleon Boneparte (You’re having a nighttime wedding- you made this decision of course so your friend and secret soulmate could attend):

She wants to get married, she wants it perfect She wants her grandaddy preaching the service Yeah, she wants magnolias out in the country Not too many people, save her daddy some money

Before walking into the church, I halt a moment at the side so others may get inside by me. This will be hard. I need a moment, just a moment… to pull myself together. It would be very bad, if I were to panic as Y/N makes their way down the aisle.

Hand on the church, more to hold myself together rather then to hold myself up. Am I doing the right thing? Should I be here? Should I leave? That stupid Capone said I might not be able to control myself and will object when the preacher asks… he’s not right, is he? It’s true, I don’t feel entirely under my own control right now…. But I need to be here. To support Y/N on their big day.

… I do love them, far more than any man every should a nearly married person, and even if I can’t have them for myself, I would, happy, do very near anything to make them happy.

So, if… If they want me here, as they said they do… Then I have to go in. I can’t chicken out now. I am the great Napoleon Boneparte. I can attend a wedding. Bon dieu.

Viva La France.

I can do this.

Forward!

As soon as I walk in, it is as if I am strolling into Y/N’s mind. This is just as they always wanted, with a few obvious added things by the other one that’s getting married today, like the chiselled cat head mahogany chairs… not that I think Y/N would disapprove if they weren’t, in fact, kind enough to just agree right away, seeing as it isn’t only their day.

The white makes a beautiful backdrop for their chosen accent colour, and the people in the room are exactly who I would imagine to accompany Y/N in her daily life, when I cannot be there. There’s not a sour, or in any way unexcited and unencouraging expression in the place.

Honestly, with my whole heart, wish I could feel the same as them.

Then Y/N comes into the room, and steals the breath right out of my chest. Like always.

Human!Oogie Boogie:

Ooh, she got it all planned out Yeah, I can see it all right now

I'll wear my black suit, black tie, hide out in the back I'll do a strong shot of whiskey straight out the flask

Christ, what kinda shindig is this?? I’ve asked everyone and their cat, including somebodies’ mother who looks like a cat, to play a tiny game of Blackjack with me while we wait for the main event, but nothing! Nada! What’s wrong with these people? Are they dying to just sit around and contemplate their loneliness until the two hosts get hitched??

I, for one, am not playing that game today.

Of course, I’m also avoiding Y/N at all costs so maybe I’m not the best example of a man controlling his emotions.

“Oogie!”

My shoulders seize up visibly, at Y/N’s voice behind me and I stop shuffling my cards. I only decide to turn around and face them like a man, when they give up waiting and round me so I can see their beaming face.

Oh, they look so happy.

That’s nice… in a terrible, heartbreaking, awful kind of way.

“Heya, Y/N. You look great!” I start shuffling the cards again in my hand, distracting my hands from and refraining myself from, taking their hand and kissing it, or pulling them into a hug. If I did that, I think theirs an acute possibility I would end up saying something we would both regret, in a moment of determination… and devastation, of course. Can’t forget that.

Really, I can’t. It’s a very prominent feeling right now in my chest, just being here. Just knowing this is happening.

“Thank you!” They beam wider, and oh Jesus. They’re so beautiful when they look happy- I wish I could make them this happy.

… But that’s all the other guy. The one they’re hitching.

They run their bottom lip through their teeth, looking down at the cards in my hands and then smirking in that mischievous way that always somehow makes this blackheart’s insides clench up. In a good way, but still. Tilting their head, they look back up at my face. “Had no luck getting anyone to bet with you yet?”

I let out a deep, theatrical sigh full of frustration. “No! Your guests all suck, Y/N.”

“Even you?”

“No, not me. I’m the King.”

“Right,” They laugh, then goes and sits down at a nearby table. “Well we have 10 minutes until I have to go get ready to walk- I’ll play you if you want!”

My heart pops like a balloon, and goes flying, wheezing around in my rib cage as I just smile at them for a good moment- unmarried, and free, and mine. For ten to fifteen more minutes. Hell yeah, I’m going to sit down and play with them.

Why aren’t I telling them not to? I wonder, as I deal us both cards and they pick theirs up and make cheeky ‘Hmmm’ sounds to throw me off. Why don’t I tell them, right now, how I feel? Why am I doing this to myself? Why am I here, is also a valid question but I already beat myself up over that last night when I was picking out my tie. I’m her friend, and they deserve to be… yuck. Happy, with the person they chose.

And I guess, that’s the answer to all my other questions too.

Let me just enjoy this last game, this last 600 seconds with them.

Oswald Cobblepot:

I remember the night when I almost kissed her Yeah, I kinda freaked out, we'd been friends for forever And I always wondered if she felt the same way When I got the invite, I knew it was too late

And I know her daddy's been dreading this day Oh, but he don't know he ain't the only one giving her away

As soon as Y/N leaves my side to go and freshen up for the aisle walk, I find myself a seat in the very back of the church / auditorium and rest in for the event. I will not be moving from this hidden away spot, in convenient shadow, with my secret flask of terrible smelling stuff that Victor gave me before arriving, until this shitshow is over and I can leave.

I’m only here in the first place, because Y/N asked me. And, evidently, my idiocy runs deep because I accepted such an invitation. I will do anything, for them. I learnt my lesson in dealing in peoples love lives, with Edward and Isobel- I will not let my relationship with Y/N go as badly as that one did, with Ed.

So if I must sit here and watch them marry that moron, (Fiancé’s Name), then that is what I’ll do. But I won’t sit in the front and watch it, and I will be as drunk as whatever this drink can make me.

Maybe I should text Victor, the deadly assassin, and ask what the contaminants are…

An unevolved, ap-like woman walks past my seat and I must be too close to the aisle because I can hear her yap like a strangled cat about what a cute couple Y/N and (Fiancé’s Name) are together and how they must be soulmates, and I don’t think twice before gulping down a huge mouthful of the alcohol. If this is how I die, then so be it, I think bitterly as I slide further down the aisle.

“Fuck!” The word comes out of me before I can stop it, my face probably the picture of horror and disgust. This… drink, if I can even call it that -more of an undiluted acid, if you ask me, - tastes like regret and earwax.

The same ape-like woman from before flashes a stern, disapproving look at me like she thinks she’s my mother, and I show her my middle finger. Uncouth, yes, but affective. This is a bad day, and I am in no mood to deal with bitches like her. She quickly looks away, and I take another, smaller, sip of the drink.

Another moment passes and the wedding doesn’t seem to be even a second closer to ending, so I sit up straight and close my eyes, holding the flask in my lap. Take me back to a better time…

In the silent, middle-of-the-conversation lapse moment, I allow myself to look down at Y/N’s mouth. They have a soft smile, left over from whatever we were just talking about, on their face as they sit comfortably in our silence and I suddenly feel total confidence. They’re here, with me, instead of off with that boy toy / girl toy / gender neutral or fluid toy. They’re with me. That must mean that I mean something to them, right? And Ed said they looked at me like… like, they love me. Or ‘care deeply’, as he put it. But we all know that was just his stiff version of the word ‘love’. Ever since Isobel… had her unfortunate accident… he’s been focused on one emotion only and it is not, love.

Anyway, the confidence spreads through me and I smile. It mixes with my perpetual desire to kiss them, and goddamnit, I should do it. I should just lean over and press a gentle kiss on their mouth- if they aren’t interested or pull away, I can blame it on the wine between us. If not…

Butterflies erupt in my stomach and my chest, and I’ve just lean an inch forward… when their phone rings on the table and I see (Boyfriends Name) flash on the screen.

I rush to lean completely back in my chair, as they answer. I don’t like to believe fate has anything to do with Gotham, but… that was entirely too close.

My eyes snap open and I roll my shoulders back, inhaling another, bigger slug of the contents of the flask and feel even angrier.

That was, most certainly not a better time, you nitwit.

Slenderman:

Bet she got on her dress now, welcoming the guests now

I could try to find her, get it off of my chest now But I ain't gonna mess it up, so I'll wish her the best now

I’ve been sitting in the back of this church, a place I likely shouldn’t ever enter in the first place -Well, at least I’m not Offender. I would probably burn to death, in that scenario, - for over 2 hours and I only got to see Y/N for 45 and a half minutes of that time.

Not that that really matters. Its more important that they see me. I certainly don’t want to see them. I don’t wish to see them, or their wedding clothes, or their wedding guests, or the stupid moony smiles on their faces, or the cake, or their partner. Definitely not their partner. If they show their face before they absolutely have to, or worse, talk to me, I will promptly go home and kill 30 people. I don’t want to be here.

I shouldn’t be here, in fact. If I were a good man, I wouldn’t be here. A good man would never turn up to a wedding that he know’s he’s just going to sit back in and think unholy, too-fond and too-angry thoughts about one of the marriage participants. Marriage is supposedly a sacred thing, and if I were this good man that I’m thinking about, I wouldn’t urinate on it like this.

But I am not a good man.

So, really, what would I know about what a good man, would do in the first place?

Enough thinking about good men, it’s making me queasy and very uncomfortable.

I don’t look around, but I can infer with general certainty, that Y/N will be welcoming all her other guests now that I ‘allowed’ -Not that I could have stopped them. They just didn’t want to leave me in my own company,- them to let me be alone here. And they’re in their wedding clothes, which look lovely on them, and their smiling and their giddy.

Giddy. Ugh, I hate that word, especially in this sense. Defined by the Cambridge English Dictionary as ‘feeling silly, happy, and excited and showing this in your behaviour’. And by the Oxford, to ‘Make (Someone) feel excited to the point of disorientation.’. Yes, I looked up these definitions and memorised them before I came, and loathe every single word, in that order.

Because apparently, as if it wasn’t already obvious by the very fact that I’m HERE, I hate myself.

This other person has made Y/N giddy, while I have to sit here and pretend, I’m happy for them both and that I don’t feel like vomiting for the first time in 5 centuries.

But I can’t do anything about it, because I love them, Y/N, and I will… I will not, allow myself to be the reason their wedding wasn’t perfect. So, I wish them the best.

Or I try my damn hardest to.

The Clown / Jeffry Hawk / Kenneth Chase:

So I'm in my black suit, black tie, hiding out in the back Doing a strong shot of whiskey straight out the flask I'll try to make it through without crying so nobody sees Yeah, she wanna get married Yeah, she gonna get married But she ain't gonna marry me

I don’t know if I’d call this a real wedding. For one, its in the entities realm so how ‘magical’ could it really be? And for another reason, the only white thing here is my grease paint. Its pretty laughable. I would laugh, in fact, if I didn’t know it would cause a coughing fit and bring attention to me as Y/N walks down the aisle- O don’t need them looking at me. I might accidentally blurt out an ‘oopsie’ or something not-at-all funny like that, with all the whiskey I’ve injected today. Not that that would be the biggest issue with these kids seeing that I’m here, in the first place. Only Y/N knows, I’m hiding by a tree.  

But, I digress I guess. They’re calling it a wedding. The big one with the beard is officiating -I guess he has an online certificate from before he was brought here,- , Y/N’s wearing a pit of plastic bag on their head like a make shift veil / bit of plastic bag fashioned sort of like a tie, and all the lovely little fingers, or survivors as they like to call themselves, watch. With silly gleaming smiles and hope in their eyes- Pft, suckers.

Honestly the idea of weddings in the first place make me a bit uncomfortable. All those wide eyes watching and perving on your happiness?? Seems pretty creepy to me, and I’ve been told I’m pretty creepy myself! So, I would know!

The fact that possibly the sweetest, perfect person I’ve ever had the pleasure of setting my gaze upon is the one getting married, has absolutely no stake on my take on weddings in this moment.

Absolutely not…

Aha… hahahaha…

I kill myself.

I kill them, too, but let’s put that on the backburner like their fingers, for now.

Let me wallow in self-pity for a while longer before we start making jokes.

Yeah, let me… I take a swig of my flask -a bee-oootiful concoction of all the most toxic hootch I have in my collection, and maybe also some actual poison maybe since I wasn’t paying much attention when I created it this morning and I keep it all in relatively the same place, - and savour the horrible flavour on my tongue. Let me wallow, for a little bit.

This is going to be a bad day, for these little fuckers when I get into the game.

[slashingdisneypasta]

hi! Could I request a night at the museum al Capone imagine or dating headcanons? If you don’t want to do it that’s fine!

No, no, no, you don’t understand I love him with all my bones, and you need to request more for him ^^

Next time will totally be a oneshot but its late where I am and I’m sleepy ^^ Haha. I hope you like this! 

~~~

·         Oh boy, he just loves to have you beside him. A little bit of arm candy, you know? Also, you’re basically the only impulse control/rational thought he has access to, so…

·         Is ALWAYS READY to throw down over you.

·         “You are… quite beautiful, oui? Allow me too- “

·         Cue Al freaken flinging his gun off to the side like he has before and COMING OVER TO YOU TWO. “EY! You get your tiny froggy mits off my doll, knucklehead!” So suddenly that you and Napoleon both jump, from surprise.

·         You have to comfort him when he learns about his fate in the Twister Deleted Scene. Just sit by him and pat his shoulder.

·         He loves you to wear his hat or his jacket.

·         He goes to Napoleon for advice when you’re upset with him. Basically, what Napoleon says is, ‘Apologise to her, nitwit. And take her flowers, she deserves to have flowers!!’.

·         He went to Ivan one time and it actually went quite well… until Al mentioned something about Ivan’s past relationships… of which he had 8 wives (Take that, Henry).

·         Always leaning over to you and muttering jokes about the others to you like when Ivan went on about reading and when he went full psycho on Napoleon for bringing up his son.

·         Its very not good, because he’s FUNNY and you end up LAUGHING and people STARE AT YOU.

·         Honestly, he loves to get you in trouble like that, the little shit.

·         You have a whole army of gangster big brothers now, because Al has directed them to protect you at all times. From threats, and flirts alike.

·         His favourite form of PDA? Well, having his arm around you first and foremost. Its easy to continue while he’s working. But coming in at a close second are lip pecks. He’s practised so he always moves his hat so it doesn’t hit you in the head.

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I love how Kah canonically is very sarcastic and insulting with Al but when Napoleon freaks on him he’s just kind of... nervous. Like, fuck the unstable midget has a sword, stand down. Al has a gun, but as we’ve all witnessed, museum exhibit’s guns do not work. 

Evidence: 

Al’s ‘HEY! Is it the killing time yet?’ and Kah’s sarcastic response of ‘*Sigh and eye roll* No it is not the killing time, Mr Capone, when it is the killing time, I shall stroll up to you and say Hey Mister Capone, guess what? Its the killing time. Right now, it is figure out the new combination, time.’ 

VS

Napoleons ‘Why do you look at me, when you say ‘short’! and Kah’s response of ‘Err, I... slip of the tongue. Sorry.’. Also Napoleons screech of ‘So no taking over zhe world?!’ and Kah votes to just be diplomatic and assure him they’re still taking over the world.  

~~~

Ivan on the other hand prefers to assert his dominance against Napoleon, and treat Al like a child. Maybe because Al’s a simple peasant and Napoleon has legit medals and government power. 

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I would say underrated characters could be natm al Capone and Napoleon Bonaparte. Also what do you have coming up to post? Anyways have a great day!❤️

Yeahhh, I can see that. Its a shame, because they’re so cool! (Also Ivan, I love him to death) Thank you for responding, and have a great day too! ^^

And, no problem!! Here’s my current list. I’m thinking about shutting down requests when/if I get to 30 ^^ Which is… hah… very close. I only just realised we’re on 29. 

I’ve put a # under the ones I’m going to try to finish today. 

1.       Jason The Toymaker x Reader who takes their siblings place as his friend to save them, and ends up liking being friends with him. Oneshot

2.       Hans x Secret Admirer!Reader Oneshot

3.       # Fluff for Ratigan, Bill Cipher and Oogie Boogie Headcanons

4.       Ghostface x Victim!Reader who is in Casey Becker’s place and gives an incorrect answer to the horror movie trivia question so they’ll kill her abusive boyfriend (In Steves position). Oneshot

5.       # Jafar, Rourke, Hades, Clayton, Gaston, Dr. Facillier react to walking in on S/O changing. Reactions

6.       Yandere!Bill Cipher x Reader who makes a deal to give herself up to him to save her family Oneshot

7.       E.J x Fem!Reader x Thomas Hewitt where E.J wants reader to be his mate when they meet the Hewitt’s and they work together and Thomas falls in love with her as well. Oneshot

8.       # Jason Voorhees x Hybrid!Reader Headanons

9.       Freddy Krueger x Victim!Reader who has Expression magic Oneshot

10.   # Slender, EJ, Gaston, and Maleficent x Reader who is going to have an Ultrasound Headcanons

11.   Eris and Hades Co-parenting Headcanons

12.   Captain Hook, Hades, Gaston, Dr. Facilier, and Cruella DeVile getting jealous when S/O spends a lot of time with sidekicks Headcanons

13.   Al Capone x Reader Oneshot

14.   InHeat!Slenderman x Reader loving tentacle Smut Oneshot

15.   # Toon Patrol Weasels affection Headcanons

16.   # Yandere!Slenderman Headcanons

17.   Jeff the Killer x Reader where Smile loves Jeff’s S/O more then him and gets jealous a lot when Jeff goes to show affection to his partner. Jeff’s Reaction.  

18.   Gaston, Jafar, Evil Queen, Hades and Dr. Facilier accidental first kiss with reader Drabbles.  

19.   Bill x Rocker!S/O Headcanons.

20.   # Yandere!Hades Headcanons

21.   # Yandere!Evil Queen, Ursula, Shan Yu and Shadowman Headcanons

22.   Slender Bro’s (Separate) x Reader where another Creep or Bro teases them for their feelings for reader and reader walks in and hears everything Headcanons / Drabble (Haven’t decided).

23.   Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees getting quarantined together Oneshot.

24.   Poly!Napoleon x Reader x Al Capone Headcanons

25.   Horned King x Fem!Reader Headcanons

26.   Human!Bill Cipher x Happy and Eccentric!Reader Headcanons

27.   Yandere!Offenderman x Shopaholic!Reader Headcanons

28.   Hoyt with an Extrovert!Daughter Headcanons

29.   # Hoyt with a son who becomes a teenage father Headcanons

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So people have been reblogging that Napoleon birthday post, and its concerning me a tiny bit... so...

Y'all know that when I mention Napoleon- I mean this man

Alain Chabat; French actor,

Dressed up in this costume-

Shrieking for 1 hour and 45 minutes in this movie???

Right????