#My lifesaviors

[delusionalwriter02]

hey i hope ur alright ? can i request a insta as but with the ada members ? like not a specific relationship just them being happy together (it's been too long since they were happy rip) thank you!!!!!

Insta as an ADA's member

a/n : hey love! I never did it with the whole agency but I'll try me best, hope you'll like it!<3

<3 liked by Chu_uya, Ranthebestpo and 593 others.

Yn_theoneandonly : we searched for them for 30 bloody minutes @.Daze_i @.Ranthebestpo @.Atsushiii @.JuNro @.Kenji_fromthefarm YOU STUPID FUCKERS

Daze_i : you described me so well

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : what

↳ Daze_i : I fuck ur mothejfboqzjtkeo

↳ Daze_i : DOPPO IDIOT U ALMOST GAVE ME A CONCUSSION

↳ KunikiDA : Learn to be respectful

↳ Yosanurgirl : Dazai honey I received a new chainsaw, care to try it with me ? 🥰

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : Wonderful idea Yosano

↳ Daze_i : no not a great idea at all, try it on Atsushi I'm sure he'll like it

↳ Atsushiii : Why me ? I didn't insult anyone's mother

↳ Daze_i : OKAY I'M SORRY PLS PLS I'M SORRY

↳ Yosanurgirl : Oh you'll be sorry don't worry

↳ Daze_i : RANPO HELP ME

↳ Ranthebestpo : not my problem

Gintonic : what were they even talking about

↳ Chu_uya : Really ? It's the topic of the conv that's concerning you ?

↳ Gintonic : they got cute hat

↳ Chu_uya : I need a drink

<3 liked by Daze_i, Atsushiii and 942 others.

Yosanurgirl : dump of our vacations

Gintonic : LMFAO WHO IS ON THE TOP RIGHT

↳ Yosanurgirl : Ranpo proudly sitting on Atsushi

↳ Gintonic : they're so stupid omg

Chu_uya : IT'S OUTRAGIOUS BOSS I WANT VACATIONS TOO

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : come with us next time

↳ Daze_i : yes Chuuya come 🤗

↳ Chu_uya : you're so suspicious

↳ Daze_i : it'll be my pleasure to throw you out of the cliff

↳ Chu_uya : you'll fall trying

↳ Daze_i : what a wonderful death

FukuZAWA : It was very nice, we should do it more often.

↳ Ranthebestpo : glad you had fun

↳ Elisefather : Were they more productive after these vacations ?

↳ FukuZAWA : Raise spirits at least

↳ Elisefather : Hm, maybe I'll consider doing that

↳ Chu_uya : Really ?

↳ Gintonic : OMG FUCK YES

↳ Gintonic : I mean, this is a great idea Boss

↳ Elisefather : We'll see.

↳ The_Hirotsu : Please Boss, change that username

<3 liked by Gintonic, Yosanurgirl and 294 others.

Yn_theoneandonly : we're so sexy @.Yosanurgirl

Yosanurgirl : I felt my sex appeal disappear

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : always be sexy in my eyes

↳ Daze_i : mine too, everywhere you want

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : shut the fuck up

↳ Chu_uya : Have some self respect omg

Atsushiii : Can't believe I won honestly

↳ JuNro : me too

↳ Ranthebestpo : I SHOULD HAVE WON, I CALCULATED EVERYTHING, I EVEN MADE YOU FALL

↳ Atsushiii : SO IT WAS YOU

↳ Ranthebestpo : OF COURSE IT WAS ME

↳ Atsushiii : YOU SAID IT WAS YOSANO

↳ Ranthebestpo : OMG DON'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING I TELL YOU

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : are the kids done ?

↳ Atsushiii : NO

↳ Ranthebestpo : NO

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : Fine fine

Yosanurgirl : GIRL COME SEE THIS MAGNIFICENT PAIR OF KIDNEYS

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : OMW

↳ KunikiDA : How have you.... Nevermind, don't wanna know

↳ Daze_i : COMING TOO MY GIRLS

↳ KunikiDA : OH NO YOU ARE COMING WITH ME

↳ Daze_i : but but but but

↳ KunikiDA : You still have paperwork to do, and this time you won't give them to Atsushi

↳ Daze_i : How did you know ?

↳ KunikiDA : I know everything.

<3 liked by Yn_theoneandonly, Ranthebestpo and 1806 others.

KunikiDA : Whoever did this, I swear to you I'm going to find you, gut you and petition the government to have this bloody day annulled !

Yn_theoneandonly : FUCK IT DID WORK @.Ranthebestpo WE'RE GENIUS

↳ Ranthebestpo : SHUT UP HE'S GONNA KNOW IT'S US

↳ Daze_i : That's why I love you

↳ KunikiDA : You two, you better start running

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : RANPO WE'RE DEAD

↳ Ranthebestpo : WHO'S TO BLAME YOU IDIOT

↳ Kenji_fromthefarm : RUN I'LL TRY TO STOP HIM

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : YOU'RE A LIFESAVIOR KENJI

Gintonic : oh my I almost piss myself laughing

↳ Akutagawa : Thanks for the details

Yosanurgirl : I would have paid millions to see his face

↳ Daze_i : SAME BAAHHAHAHAHAHAH HE'S SO STUPID NOBODY WRITES "FREE CAKE"

↳ Yosanurgirl : You write your name on your yogurts

↳ Daze_i : That's because of Ranpo, he always eats them all

↳ Yosanurgirl : and who pays for these yogurts

↳ Daze_i : Atsushi... Okay I see your point but if my name is on them THEN IT'S MINE

↳ Yosanurgirl : THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS

↳ Daze_i : WELL NOW IT IS

Chu_uya : So hmmm Kyôka, you left us for them ?

↳ Kyôk_a : They're funnier than you for sure

↳ Chu_uya : Gotta act like I didn't read that

<3 liked by KunikiDA, FukuZAWA and 701 others.

Yn_theoneandonly : true family

Kenji_fromthefarm : I love you guys

Yosanurgirl : I LOVE you

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : me too sweet

Ranthebestpo : owwww aren't we cute

↳ p0e : sure are

Daze_i : at that moment there was a warm current between my legs

↳ Chu_uya : someone piss on you

Kyôk_a : never felt better in my life

↳ OzuKoy : I'm happy for you sweetheart

Atsushiii : I'm glad I found you all

↳ Akutagawa : you're foolish

↳ Gintonic : shut up and be happy for once

KunikiDA : What a bunch of happy idiots we are

↳ KATAI : couldn't have worded it better

JuNro : the warm current was probably me

↳ Higucci : you're disgusting

↳ Naomii : you should have stayed silent Jun

FukuZAWA : Thank you for trusting me one day, kids

↳ M_Mori : I really need to plan those vacations

↳ The_Hirotsu : Thank you Boss for changing the username

Hello! hope you liked it ? I kinda tear up at the end, it makes me happy to write them happy so I really hope you'll feel the same, we all need a good old boost of happiness from time to time

with love <3

[sanjisboyfie]

eren first meeting his roommate

aka ; eren yeager having a gay awakening <3

-> might be a series? idk i love roommate eren a lot so probably will be a series LMFAO also also there's really no obvious romance here, it's just silent admiration and crushes

also eren is very much puppy-like and high energy in this one hashtag sorry if u love emo eren, he will NOT be emo here!!! hashtag no regrets.

eren yeager x male reader

— eren was dead broke. his ass definitely did not have enough money for either dorming on campus or off campus, but off campus was the cheaper option. and since he went to a college so far away from home, it would be too big of a hassle to commute. so him and his parents compromised by giving him an "allowance" every month, which would basically pay for a third of rent. but that meant he had to use his own money to pay the next third, then find someone else to pay the final third. ( 1/3 being paid by his parents, 1/3 being paid by him, 1/3 being paid by a lifesavior roommate, aka you!!!!!)

— it was very odd to see eren, who on first impressions seemed like an intimidating individual, sit you down at the empty kitchen table and beg you, literally beg you with his hands in praying form, to room with him. he was very, very obviously desperate to find someone else to live with.

"please, i will be good - i've heard from all my friends i'm a great person to live with, my mouth will vouch (he is a terrible person to live with, but if he has to do more household chores in order to get a roommate he will). i will let you speak to my own mother and father, they will vouch and say-"

"i believe you, eren, why are you crying?"

"PLEASE LIVE WITH ME!!!"

that's an exaggeration of what happened...he didn't actually start crying, but his begging was insistent and borderline pathetic.

— in the end, you agreed !!! paying 1/3 of rent was better than paying 1/2 + the place wasn't in a terrible location, it was close to school, and was a pretty good size for two bedrooms. since eren was already settled in, he helped you move in. and that was when you were given a free GUN SHOW because damn was this man working hard in lifting your many boxes of belongings. it was almost like he wore a tight shirt on purpose, just to show off. he very adamanently told you that you didn't need to hire movers and he'd do all the heavy lifting, along with muttering about how they were "scammers" with how much they charged.

"eren, i can lift some of these-"

"no, please, consider this my thanks for moving in with me," eren grunted, holding a huge box of your clothes with relative ease. he was sweating, but that was because this was probably the third box of heavy stuff he had to carry from the car to the building.

he was wearing a beige shirt that hugged his muscular form, emphasizing every single ripple underneath the fabric. and as you two stood in the elevator (thank god the building had an elevator or else eren would have had to carry all the boxes up three flights of stairs), the only sound in the metallic box was eren's heavy breathing.

his muscular chest (boobs) were moving up and down as he tried catching his breath, his hands lifting to wipe the sweat off of his forehead with the collar of his shirt.

your eyes watched each of his movements carefully before you snapped out of it with the dinging of the elevator to tell you you were on your floor. you got out of elevator first, holding your arm to the door to prevent it from closing on him.

he shot you a smile in thanks before proceeding to easily lift up the box (it was at least over 50 pounds, mind you) and walk ahead to the room.

what you didn't know was that eren's cheeks were burning red as he had felt your stare on him earlier and it made him feel shy. you didn't have to know that he was purposely flexing harder with each cardboard box he had to lift. it was his own subtly way of trying to impress you, anyway.

it was flustering to know that it was somewhat working.

— after all the boxes were situated inside of the small apartment, he went to put all of your utilities away, like your own set of utensils, plates that you bought to share, and a couple of mugs. meanwhile, you went to your room to personalize and unpack all of your clothing. as eren was occupied working in the kitche, he felt himself smiling to himself as he carefull put away any of your belongings in the shelves. he felt himself laughing at one of your comedic mugs, a ceramic figure that took the shape of a chubby cat. the tail of the animal curved into being the handle and a funny expression was painted onto the cat's face.

"what's so funny, yeager?" you challenged, stretching your hands above head, "you think my mugs are funny?"

eren laughed, putting it away intot he cupboard and turning to look at you, "i think they're cute, they're also fitting,"

you made a face of uncertainty, which only made eren's grin go wider, "alright, you'll see."

"i'll see what?"

"you'll see — when i get you your own mug, you'll learn to appreciate it more,"

"oh, god, please don't." eren said, leaning against the counter on his elbow and staring at you, who were sitting on the other side, "for your first night here, you want me to treat us to take out? the chinese place down the road is really good,"

he watched your expression carefully. wordlessly, you walked around the counter and to the fridge. once you opened it, it took you a total of three seconds before you looked back at eren with a grimace.

"the only thing in here is ketchup and mayo..."

"those are the condiments i use to eat my fast food with," eren shrugged, making you only become more flabbergasted. "what??"

"oh my god, let's finish unpacking later, we need to go buy groceries,"

"but you didn't answer my question on dinner?"

"i'll make dinner — you save more money buying groceries and making meals out of them instead of buying takeout everynight, eren," you lectured, making him tilt his head in thought. he supposed you were right, so he didn't argue against going grocery shopping.

as you announced you were just going to change quickly, he then thought about it for a second longer. then a blush fell on his face as he imagined you at the kitchen, cooking a meal for just him and you.

god, was he really developing a crush on his roommate that just moved in?

— the grocery shopping turned unserious very fast. bring eren to any public environment and he won't be able to stay on track for a second. you didn't really know eren that well (it sounds silly to say that considering you are now living with him, but prior to agreeing to be his roommate, he really was just a stranger to you), so to see his more childish side bleeding through his cold exterior was a good change of pace. he was a very goofy guy, making funny faces at babies with the intent of making them cry, and would easily get distracted. he had tried dragging you off to the pokemon card wall several times when all you needed were groceries.

"did you see the way its face scrunched up?" he grinned in excitement before focusing on mimicking the expression a baby he tormented made. you laughed at the face he was making before smacking his shoulders.

"be nicer! they're just babies, eren," you softly scolded, weak chuckles escaping from you.

"just babies that make funny faces," eren laughed, switching from standing at your left side to your right side repeatedly as you stood in front of the produce section, "what even are you going to make tonight?"

"hm, how about pasta? you like pasta?" eren nodded his head in affirmation, "i was just going to buy some staple fruits and vegetables too, though, in case we get hungry for snacks,"

"snacks? i can run to the chips section too then! what chips do you want?" eren said, very excited to go to his second favorite section of the store (the junk food aisles).

"just get me a bag of f/c," you requested politely, making him nod like an eager puppy and run off.

you finished going down the list of basic ingrediants for a white sauce pasta, while also grabbing anything that you could use for other dishes in the future.

just as you turned around to your now full cart of vegetables, sauces, fruits, and meat, eren came bounding back towards you. this time, he was now holding five bags of chips, in his mouth he was carrying a single packet of pokemon cards, and in his fingers he was desperately holding a lottery ticket.

"look! we can open up a pack of pokemon cards, i got you one too, it's in my pocket though, since i figured you wouldn't want my spit on it, and then i also have a lottery ticket. i have a feeling we will win it big! and if we do, we won't have to pay rent for like five months!"

"eren, what the fuck? i thought you were just getting chips,"

the accused man pouted at the tone you were taking with him, dropping his arms into the car to free them of the five bags of chips, "i was!! but look, i'll pay for the lottery ticket, chips, and pokemon cards! c'mon, it'll be fun to open the cards together and everything!"

he almost pouted at you, can you belive this guy? pouted at you with begging puppy dog eyes. you almost smooshed his face with the palm of your head, but restrained yourself.

"fine, let's just go and pay,"

eren grinned in achievement, pumping his fist into the air, "c'mon, i wanna open these on the ride home!" he said, referring to the pokemon cards.

"alright, alright, i don't know anything about them though, so you're just gonna have to tell me what's good or not,"

"if it's shiny and reflective, give it to me, that's all you need to know," eren said dismissively. he swiftly took your spot behind the cart, pushing it with ease and only allowing you to walk beside him. "what pasta are you cooking for tonight?"

"i bought alfredo sauce, so i'll just add in some vegetables and to the pasta and make...chicken alfredo? if that's alright with you," eren almost salivated at the thought. he simply nodded his head eagerly, the bangs around his face bouncing at the movement.

"sounds delicious! man, i really lucked out with you as my roomie, huh? we're gonna make a great pair!" he threw his arm around your shoulder and pulled you in closer as he said this, an innocent grin on his face.

— that night, the two of you sat on foldable chairs watching tv. eren's parents gave you two as a house warming gift. it was small, but it was working so that was all that mattered. eren and you laughed at the tv screen until the late hours, where you both agreed to finally call it a night.

"should i make breakfast tomorrow morning? or are you gonna be in clases by the time i get up?"

eren frowned, "i have classes all day tomorrow, from 8 in the morning to 7 at night, so you don't have to worry about making too many servings,"

you nodded in understanding, "alright, then, i'll see you when you get back then,"

eren and you were about to break off to your own rooms, but he called out to you one last time, "uhm, what time are you gonna be in classes?"

"i only have one class tomorrow, 1 to 3:15," his face brightened up, which instinctively made you smile at him in return.

"we can go get lunch together then," he offered, "there's a good place that has burgers, it's like a ten minute walk from the main campus. i have a break in between classes at 4? if that's okay with you, of course,"

you grinned so wide that it almost hurt your cheeks. eren was a really nice guy, he was going out of his way to just get to know you better and spend some time with you, "yeah, that sounds perfect. meet me at the bus stop that's right outside the main hall and we can walk together,"

"okay, yeah!" eren nodded his head repeatedly, the bangs on the side of his head once again moving at such rapid mvoement. "then, i'll text you tomorrow when i get out of class!"

"sure, that sounds good." there was a pause and you pivotted your torso to turn away from the smiling brunette, "good night, eren,"

the man blinked and nodded his head, also turning away, calling out a, "goodnight, [name]," very quickly.

and the two of you fell asleep with grins on both of your faces. eren had brought the blanket up to his face, as if he was paranoid that there were someone watching his blushing face only redden. your smile was really, really handsome, his heart felt like it was in his throat everytime he remembered it.

[icharchivist]

I updated Tumblr I went to its Google page and there was update, updated it, dark n beautiful again

IT WORKED!!! THANK YOU FOR SAVING MY EYES!!

@zeynatura since i saw you ask for it in the reblog too, here we go!!! Safe and sound o7

Thank you again nonny it's a lifesavior tip!!!

[meaniezucchini]

oh. oh my god it works now i went to double check, for some reason i didn't see the oculus shader packs section in the video settings, no clue what i did wrong before for it not to show up

it works now! the shaders work and there's no texture glitching

oh my god dude you are a lifesavior sjdhgf tysm for explaining, it was so kind of you!!! sjdfh my bad for the confusion lol

i made a modpack for my friends by myself for the first time and just realised how much optifine breaks other mods, armor from ice and fire and fairy lights don't work properly and there's no alternative for it on forge if you wanna have shaders! god fucking dammit

[cosmo-gonika]

French way of life really sucks I guess 😄

[radioactivedotcom]

i’m using milanote to plan simblreen and i’m at 33 notes and it’s like.... only a fraction of my plans o_o wish me luck, i will make it in time!!

[01432853]

thank god!! Sanniang - a lifesavior for my blood pressure 🙏 I would have pushed him in as well..

Edit: she really did it 🤣👏👏👍

[chimchimsbb]

@milfgyuu @lettersfromaphrodite @cartierbin and every fanfiction writer I’ve liked and reblogged (and keep on doing!) 💖

I hope fanfiction writers know that I think of them like celebrities

I literally scream a little bit whenever one of them interacts with a comment i made on one of their posts like they are literally famous in my mind

thank you fanfiction writers you are literally sometimes the only thing keeping me alive 

[weak-hero]

youtube is such a lifesavior, i can type “origami instruction“ and watch other people do it, and then i can pause a video or adjust the speed so i could follow their movements on my own speed and boom! in 5 min i have a paper crane!

[caravaggiosbrushes]

November!

november: do you have any rituals or requirements for getting in the mood for writing?

I'd say playing some lo-fi/background music and writing either on my computer (if i have long scenes to write/edit) or my phone (for quick scenes)

Also always have the translator and thesaurus open 😬 lifesaviors

( send me a fanfic question! )

[mcnvsweeney]

”#”

cell phone headcanons

what your muse’s name is in mine’s phone: Lifesavior

what your muse’s picture is in mine’s phone:

what your muse’s ringtone is in mine’s phone: La Venda — Miki

my muse’s last text to your muse: “Lucía. Una pregunta. ¿Si tu hija de 16 años se echa un novio asqueroso al que le quieres partir la cara…? ¿Es mejor pegarle con la derecha o con la izquierda?”

[osakaso5]

Yamato Nikaido 12 SONGS GIFT Rabbit Chat Part 1: 12 SONGS GIFT

Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

Tsumugi: Yamato-san, good work. Valentine's Day will be your birthday! 

Yamato: Good job. Now that you mention it, yeah.  Am I gonna get lovingly  handmade chocolates from you?

Tsumugi: If that's what you want, Mitsuki-san, Banri-san, and I will make you lots of homemade treats!

Tsumugi: 

Yamato: I'm kidding. The sentiment's enough.

Tsumugi: Your birthday only comes once a year! Don't hesitate to ask us for anything!

Tsumugi: Speaking of your birthday, your screening for the "12 SONGS GIFT" project that Iori-san previously participated in is being held soon!

Yamato: "12 SONGS GIFT", huh. That's the big audition that all the record companies and entertainment agencies collaborate on.

Tsumugi: Yes! 12 SONGS GIFT is a large-scale audition with the theme of "singers born this month”. Many composers and lyricists take part in it, whether they be pros or amateurs.

Tsumugi: Composers and lyricists team up and apply to the project by writing a song in the image of the singer.

Tsumugi: There’s a rock division, an enka division, and a pop division, while IDOLiSH7 has been chosen for the male idol division.

Yamato: And Ichi was our singer for January. His solo song was great.

Tsumugi: It was absolutely wonderful! I'm sure you'll get many great songs dedicated to you, too!

Yamato: I can be pretty indecisive. I'll probably be totally lost if I get too many sentimental songs to choose from. Though I guess I won't be the only one screening for them.

Tsumugi: That's right. Some record company personnel and famous composers will also participate in the screening process.

Yamato: Okay, good.

Tsumugi: However, because their mission is to match the song to the singer, your opinion holds the most weight!

Yamato: I'll need to take this seriously, huh. I'm gonna do my best, so I won't get a scolding from our first solo artist, Ichi.

Tsumugi: Alright! I'm counting on you!

Tsumugi: Yamato-san, since you'll most likely be too busy around your birthday, may I have some of your time right now?

Yamato: What's up?

Tsumugi: There's something I'd like to tell you.

Yamato: Why are you getting all formal? Ah, are you finally gonna confess your love to me?

Tsumugi: 

Tsumugi: There you go, teasing me again...

Yamato: My bad. What is it? Do you have some kind of worries?

Tsumugi: I'm using your birthday as an opportunity to express my gratitude for all you've done for us!

Yamato: Whaaaaat

Yamato: I don't need that kind of stuff (lol) It's embarrassing, and I know without you telling me anyways.

Tsumugi: To Yamato-san.

Yamato: Pushy as ever, huh!?

Tsumugi: Thank you for always supporting IDOLiSH7 as their leader.

Tsumugi: Your casual kindness and big heart have been a lifesavior to the others and I countless times.

Tsumugi: I've already lost count of how many times I've been glad you're IDOLiSH7's leader.

Tsumugi: Thank you so much.

Yamato: No... I haven't done that much...

Yamato: But, uh, I appreciate it. Thanks a lot.

Tsumugi: You're always watching over us warmly.

Yamato: You're still going...

Yamato: That's enough... I'm sweating out all the beer I've been drinking...

Yamato: Did you do this to Ichi, too? Was he okay?

Tsumugi: We also love you when you're teasing us, acting like a brat, and being lazy, of course.

Tsumugi: You keep us calm, sometimes by acting like a father, and other times like the youngest of all of us. You think about your group more than anyone else.

Tsumugi: I really love your innocent smile when IDOLiSH7 in turn watches over you.

Tsumugi: I'll do my best so  we can see plently of that  smile in this next coming  year. Happy birthday, Yamato-san. 

Yamato: Thank you very much...

Tsumugi: It's still a little too early, but at least I managed to give you my birthday wishes!

Yamato: I feel like I just had 30 birthdays at once...

Tsumugi: Did this make you happy?

Yamato: So happy I could melt. Ah, I sweated like a pig...

Yamato: Thanks a lot, manager. That was embarrassing, but it was nice to hear.

Yamato: I'm really happy I met you guys, and to know you're glad I'm your leader. Approval from all of you feels better than anything else.

Yamato: I'm pretty sure it's all I could ever wish for.

Yamato: 

Tsumugi: That's great!

Yamato: But I think I just lost about 5 kg of weight. It felt like I was in a sauna.

Tsumugi: Would you like to start doing this every night?

Yamato: No thanks...

[luxiero]

cocaine, vices & then there's you

warnings; cursing, drugs, bad life role models; depression.

It was always you. You, who were better at living than I ever could've been. You, with less anxieties and more fears, less problems and more worries, less feelings and less cares. And then there was me, who could've never lived it down. Never had the chance of taking my fucking hands off the steering wheel, so I let you light my cigarette. Smoked it hands-free. That was how we rolled in that old Chevy, and that was how you rolled all over me. I felt like shit. I felt like dying. I found out, with time, that all of what made you feel alive was actually killing me.

The thing about Jeongguk's hands is that they make Taehyung feel like something holy. Something devoid of malice, pain-breaking, slowly sliding away from all of that beauteous hurt he's always ever felt. 

And that's irreplaceable. Something Taehyung can't simply afford to lose.

It's not that he feels terribly miserable 100% of the time, no, something about 35 or bargaining for 30% even, but the other 70-65% are emptiness. Painkiller prescriptions. Antidepressants. Anxiolytics. Oozing booze booze booze everywhere he went, with anyone, anytime.

It was the spark of a touch in a spark of a moment in time, a lapsio, a small fragment of a figment but he was feeling it all ten times more powerviolence. He had to turn his other cheek because his heart started thrumming harsh to the beat of some shit-death-thrash-metal double pedal, something like Cannibal Corpse, and he thought his cheeks might flush red. That's not a sight for just anyone.

"Let the dude sit down."

"Fuck of, Keith."

"Come on, man, he's new."

"Fuck me if I care."

And then it happened.

"Hey! My name's Jeongguk."

It was just a friend's-friend-of-a-cousin brought into the den by Keith and Jihoon. A random newbie. That was it, that was the single catch, Taehyung had to push his RedBull aside and excuse himself off the table where he was lining up coke and ditching health over emotion to breathe in the cramped bathroom which, ironically, had no air whatsoever.

That was the first time he encountered Jeon Jeongguk in his life.

The second time was at a gig. That same friend's friend had a band, a crappy one which Taehyung happened to love, something stuck in the crossing between The Pretty Reckless and the shit his dog left in the garage last week. There are teens cramped into the small space of a pub that's probably unsafe in all ways possible, Taehyung thinks of how lucky the owner is that sanitary vigilance didn't find it yet. There's booze in each single dormant hand, and there's also no air there. Life coincidences. 

Jeongguk was sour and sweet in every way when he bumped into Taehyung. Smart bitch recognized him first glance, smiled like a bunny trying to light up the entire galaxy, left Taehyung's veins feeling clogged. Overwhelmed like a hypertense bitch fed on McDonald's every morning. 

"I like this band." Jeongguk wore the smile, Taehyung wore a grin.

"Yeah? I fucking hate it, let's get out of here."

It happened in the backseat of that stupid Chevrolet which was lucky just to be able to ride anywhere without falling apart. The fog and the moans, the hands everywhere, steam, sex scent, all most unbelievable sounds Taehyung never hoped to hear made life so far feel like rehearsal. Made him feel like everything he'd ever fucked was only preparing him. Getting him there, getting him ready for Jeon Jeongguk's body on his, Jeon Jeongguk's moans against his ear, Jeon Jeongguk's tightness, heat, all soft and delicate muscle flexing, abs tightening and broken whines when he came all over Taehyung's fist as he throbbed inside of him.

The tenth time was high. Candy, LSD. So fucking high up Taehyung thought he was never coming back down to Earth, the real world, all living things and he thought hey, that is okay with me. I mean, it's not like he fucking wanted to go back. It was too much to go back to; hopelessness, war, sentiments. The lack thereof. He didn't think he'd have enough money for his pills anymore, so what was the game for him? What was in it for him anyway? 

Nah. He wanted to stay high up. Drifting through those technicolor things he was touching, those little people he could see from the rooftop, that high over that high building. It was fun.

What if he dived? The ocean was right in front of him, beer can in his hand, what if he just dived?

A rabbit man sat right beside him when he was about to, teetering over the edge, body swaying back and forth, could've slipped, could've fallen. Twelve stories high. 

"Take a step back if you like Sharknado." Bastard knew his weaknesses. Taehyung took a step back from the edge. "Alright, now take a step back if beer drunk is the worst type of hangover one can get." Another step back. Jeongguk had his arms ready for him. "Now come into my arms if cold pizza is much better than when the pizza guy delivers it."

And there it was, Taehyung swooning right into his arms. The drugs weren't even kickboxing his brain that hard anymore. Sure, Jeongguk was colorful; sure, he could hear each of his breaths, every single tiny movement was a wave and sure, his voice felt like freedom, but that wasn't LSD. Taehyung knew more than well that this was just Jeon Jeongguk, and not any drug, not any alcohol, not anything else that could've never ever have gotten him that addicted. 

Only that guy could.

That was how Jeongguk saved Taehyung's life, but it felt like it wasn't the first time. It was just the literal time. 

The others were smaller. Everywhere, everyday, in each touch and longer stare; it burned him beneath the skin when Taehyung looked at him and thought Jeongguk wasn't looking. Drank him in and absorbed him, let him seep through his pores. A daily lifesavior that happened to count his lashes while he slept.

Taehyung, on his hand, was an addict and a piece of shit. Didn't have anything together in his life, no graduation, no drive, no need. No willpower. He was a force of nature in all of his glory, "blessed with beauty and rage" as he self-entitled, but nothing like Jeongguk. Jeongguk wasn't a buzzing city which sent people's senses into overdrive, but he was a calm fireplace energy that felt like home, felt like connection.

It felt like safety.

When they decided to quit, it was late night. The clock struck three something in the a.m., but the rain didn't let them be heard from outside while they screamed obscenities at each other. It was mostly screaming. It was some crying, some dead-set confusion in their eyes from so much hostility at each other that they didn't even seem to have loved at all. Ever. Because the love happened too fast; it happened too insanely, impulsively, ridiculously. They drove to the edge of a cliff with all they had, spent all gas, sunken feet into the pedal and overstimulation under the neon lights, so urban, breaking so many speed signals and getting so many tickets on the way.

Maybe it broke them. Maybe it didn't. "Maybe it just wasn't meant to be." It's what Taehyung thinks as he kicks the car door open, ignoring protests for him to stay, ignoring the pounding of his heart, the throbbing of his weakness and the pain that came with the end of it. Whatever it had been. "Maybe I wasn't meant to have this." It's what he also thinks as he runs, doesn't see where, doesn't care enough to try and open his eyes just a little wider. Just enough not to stumble against someone and not have time to apologize, just walk away like nobody's business. He doesn't have time to try and think about how shitty his post is turning out, or his aesthetics, or his bullshit writing because all he can think of is how this all started so well, so good so fast, so intensely that it couldn't suffice. It wouldn't be enough to last, because it happened like a car crash. "Too good to be true" definition, and now there he is; standing under that same rain, waiting for a stupid train home because once he said he liked storms and now he regrets every single one of his words in this sentence. 

________________________________________ © petrichoria Do not copy, steal nor repost anywhere.

[plumbobbsimblr]

You held my hands, to help me going through it. Mentally and physically. It felt great to have you, in my life. We weren't together, just really close. You appeared in my life, to make it better, to help me. And when i was better, you left. As a lifesavior in books would do. Because you were my lifesavior, and i don't know how to thanks you. You did a lot for me, you saved me. - dead roses

[sekaisnoona]

Pass the happy along! When you get this, reply with 5 things that make you happy and then send it to the last 10 people in your activity ❤️❤️❤️

thanks sweetiee

the first who always makes me happy is my daughter Natalie ^-^ she brights my every single day and it makes me happy just to watch her growing

the second it’s my babies, Sehun and Jongin and SEKAI /I love them so much it hurts/ /also, sekai are my lifesaviors, they helped me in my very hard time, and i always be grateful for that./ 

then it’s my family, my closest friends and some of my mutuals

then it’s music, books, coffee and cigarette /lol/ and walking in the streets..

and the last it’s giffing sekai moments hehe