#My future definitely looks a lot bleaker

[asherlockstudy]

I was watching the newest podcast and it was a little bit like a cold shower in terms of how I (and I suppose fandom in general) tends to romanticize certain aspects of their creative process and how it plays into their relationship. For example, I was taken aback with how much they emphasized the collaborative spirit and their team's contribution to Wonderhole and how being part of that whole team was one of their filming highlights, as well as the fact that the idea for the second episode (and their living together 200 years into the future) was suggested by their team because of an opportune festival. It made me think that I tend to romanticize and exaggerate in my mind the intimacy their creative process has, and although, obviously, shipping is one thing and reality can eb quite another another, I still found it a bit disappointing. Do you ever have moments when something they say or do contradicts ideas you have firmly in your mind about them (your head canon basically)?

Yes and no. This is a great question. There are definitely a lot of moments when I tend to romanticize things and then I have to go back and reevaluate, which is unpleasant if we're being honest. At the same time, I also tend to be a cynic and quite a few times I have believed something bleaker or more emotionally removed than other fans / shippers. As a result, I feel like my conclusions balance out each other. But to others I may look like a rollercoaster lol

I want to explain how I feel and what I think in relation to what you are asking about Wonderhole and any of the scripted videos but in order to do this I think I will have to do some analysis of their latest EB discussion. I hope this is okay with you because at times I might inevitably diverge a bit from your specific question. Also I have reasons to add this answer to my One Story masterlist, if that's okay with you.

On the making of Wonderhole

The main point I will try to make here is that the key so that you can always be one step ahead and not get too disillusioned is to tell apart the things that you have to believe without question from the things that you can question and the ones that are not untrue but are not giving the full picture either. (Rhett and Link usually fall in the third category.) Okay I realise I sound like some self-proclaimed guru but I am just explaining what I try to do, I am not saying I am perfect at doing it.

So, one thing we should never forget is that everything Mythical produces is part of the business, it needs a lot of technical interventions, it needs budget and production, it needs editing, it certainly needs things Rhett and Link can't or won't do on their own.

Perhaps you remember that I expected more "significant" things to happen in it before it aired. You know the moment I realised I was romanticising stuff? When they presented their Wonderhole product line in the Mythical Store. Then I realised it wouldn't be anywhere near as risky or groundbreaking as I deemed possible because I thought they woudn't risk making a product line for that. (Then again, never underestimate Rhett and Link's determination to milk everything but regardless if this was a right reasoning or not, this is when I realised we were getting something mild.)

We should also remember that they sustain a huge company of 100 employees. No matter how much they say they pursue creativity and expression, you can hear it in their words that they dedicate an artistically unacceptable amount of consideration to the algorithms and the baiting youtubey titles, to the point that they and their employees committed some surprisingly juvenile and enormous mistakes in the way they promoted their show. I have never worked in the entertainment industry and yet I could tell that the mistakes they did, putting a hole in the office in the trailer, promising a series with a cohesive premise were absolutely crazy coming from people working in this industry for so many years. And even though they did not admit that, this means there was also serious half-bakedness in the way they made the show.

This must feel now to you like a massive impersonal project that kind of lost its focus due to all those people meddling and not a deeply driven vulnerable work made by Rhett and Link in earnest. I get it but I believe this is not correct either. Rhett and Link do want to do exactly that but at the same time the necessity or desire to also make something technically professional and profitable inevitably forces them to compromise hugely. There are ways to tell that there is indeed something deeper beneath the surface that does not get effectively channelled.

A great telling sign for this was something that was discussed last year when they were analyzing the Digging a Hole video. They had already gathered this small team which works for them only for the scripted videos. So one employee offered the idea of Rhett and Link digging a hole. Meanwhile, Rhett claimed he coincidentally had seen a dream about digging holes around that time and it gave him the very same idea for the video. When he heard the employee who was unaware of Rhett's dream suggesting this, he was mystified and approved of it. But here's the interesting bit; Rhett suddenly sounded irritated and defensive when he said that he didn't know what possibly triggered this idea in the employee's mind and "he didn't care / want to know". I am not conveying this very well but it seemed like there was something bothering him about it, even though he did approve of the idea. In other words, I think he had this idea that he knew it was a good allegory for his message but he was concerned that a seemingly unaware outsider came up with the same idea for them. Like "Okay I have my reasons I came up with this but what is it that you think you know about us that makes you also suggest this?". But like he said, he decided he did not want to know.

This was proof that there is a deeper intent that Rhett and Link are not sharing exactly with their team. Also, notice how they have said multiple times that this team is "tiny" and separate from the rest of the crew. Maybe this is partly because they don't want to employ too many people in a financially risky project but I can't help but think it is also for reasons of confidentiality in case the project becomes vulnerable. Whether these employees suspect something or not, nothing is uttered openly. I think Rhett and Link ask them for ideas for premises and settings and then they themselves know how to adjust the idea so they can put inside what they care to add. In short, the very core, the essential meaning is theirs but they ask for more and more new ideas to apply it in. That's what the employees offer but because Rhett and Link do not share their deeper intent for this show and they don't make the employees' job easy, this inescapably leads the final work to seem a little "lost in translation".

The "lost in translation" element was obvious even in the podcast. Link admitted they did not have a premise to share, to the point he had to lie in actual promo interviews about it. All that despite saying for one year that it will be one show with one story coming in episodes that will make everything (including the old videos) fall into place. Another huge mistake. The problem is there is one thing that brings this all together (ahem ONE STORY PLUG -> also insinuated in the final multiverse reel in the last episode) but they haven't even shared it with their trusted team it seems, let alone the audience. That's recipe for disaster. They ask from the audience to "get" something they refuse to disclose openly.

You can usually detect what is made by Rhett and Link and what the additions of their team are by what truly matters and what not. They said it themselves; all of the work is fictional but there were moments and plot points which changed as they went or that had unexpected consequences but they always knew where this was supposed to head. For example, the Rhett and Link gummies did not matter, the destruction of the truck mattered. The red and blue experiment methods did not matter, what Rhett and Link ended up doing because of it mattered. Anything in the futuristic scenario and the treasure hunt did not really matter, Rhett and Link's merging of the consciousness and kept secret in a box forever mattered. Anything in the flight simulation did not matter but the fact that they ended up all alone in an island and what they did there mattered.

Speaking of which, I am curious what was the breaker in the first episode that had Rhett change it drastically, because he was so uneager to share it. He said: "there's no need for you to know everything". Why? How bad could it be to know? For him to not want to share what that apparently huge flaw was, perhaps it was not something minor like a technical issue but rather something contextual, either something that would give away the plot (what plot?) or something vulnerable that would give away the deeper intent. Don't forget that the first episode was already heavy in implications and imagery...... Unless it was a technical issue that could have legal consequences and Rhett realised it, I don't know. That's the truth, we have to consider everything, even the boring cold possibilities.

Rhett nailed something; his evaluation of Link's versus his own acting in the futuristic scenes, especially towards the end, when they fight and then Link dies and Rhett grieves. Rhett says Link did some fantastic acting there while he cringed with his own. He's totally right. These were my exact feelings when I watched this episode. Aside from the fact that Link is overall a better actor, do you know why Link was that good and Rhett was that bad? For the same exact reason: it was deeply personal and it hit too close to home. Link shines in such occasions because he is a person who wants to express himself desperately. The fight they had, they have such fights, especially THIS fight, where they have opposite opinions on "which direction to follow", those were real frustrations Link is actually experiencing. On the other hand, Rhett is so scared of expressing himself. He could not bring himself to be as vulnerable and real as he should be in order to act convincingly like he had just lost Link. This is another piece of evidence that no matter how many other people are involved, you can tell it is a very personal, very real project for them when Link brings out his raw self but Rhett struggles and fails to.

All in all, as you see, just because other people are involved or there is a strict protocol about how they work, it doesn't mean necessarily you are wrong about certain ideas you may be entertaining. Remember, for everything they choose to share, there is just as much or more that they do not. You just have to weigh in everything they say because they are not all equally significant or equally truthful.

*I wanted to talk a bit about the truck segment too but this would diverge too much and I will include it in the post I will eventually make about the last Wonderhole episode.

**Can't believe I made a huge post about this EB episode and I did not find an opportunity to mention the alternative title "Rhett and Link are doing it" (which albeit being funny and baity, it was also very consistent to the ultimate point of Wonderhole.... as if Wonderhole itself is less sexual but anyway..)

One Story Masterlist

[elvendara]

March Madness 2022

It's that time of year again! I know I've been MIA for months, and thanks to those of you who noticed and were worried, LOL.

For this year I will be working from this list of romantic DATES. Mostly for Yooran of course, but maybe other ships too...we'll see. So far only have 5 days done though ahahahahaha. All Yooran except one JuZen (my lowkey ship).

I might throw in some art, but I haven't been doing much except some traditional so very out of practice.

Anyway, if anyone missed me, I'M BAAACCCKKKK!

Look forward to a month full of Mysme!!!!

[good-wine-and-cheese]

Hello, I hope you're doing well.

You get a lot of questions about the cast of Monster and their opinions on things, so here is my question: their favourite ____punk genre (e.g. steampunk, dieselpunk)?

Alternatively, are there any characters you associate with a particular one, even if it may not be to their taste?

Thank you~ well, but tired lol! This is a really fun one :) as a super huge steampunk vibes liker I appreciate it a ton.

Kenzo Tenma: While in general I don't see him being especially into the genre (let's face it he has never had the time to have special interests!) I do think if presented with each of these genres of media he would be a fan of something like solar punk, something about the brighter, cleaner nature to the world that it presents. More hopeful.

Wolfgang Grimmer: From the subgenres that I know, I would say Grimmer would take the most intrigue with diesel punk. I imagine he would be drawn to it for the period of time it represents, during a lot of overt incivility spanning through world war. It's a bleaker world that he finds fascination with. Far enough back that he can look at it as a fiction, but still relatable enough to draw him in.

Eva Heinemann: Now Eva's definitely a straightforward steampunk fan for sure. It's got her aesthetic, she would see herself as a part of the wealthy upper class, and I think she'd enjoy the decor and fashion for the genre. There's lots to love.

Heinrich Lunge: This one I was caught between diesel punk and cyberpunk. I think that Lunge personally would be more drawn toward diesel punk, for some similar reasons as to Grimmer - the bleak crime-riddled world of it, the period of time it represents, etc. - but I definitely associate him more with cyberpunk for reasons that should be fairly clear. Something something the hard drive in my brain...

Nina Fortner: So, there were a couple I could choose, but the one I think Nina would have a lot of fun with is raypunk. It's got a classic old-timey vibe, but in a fun, bright atmospheric way that's super colourful and has a lot of vibrant energy. I think she'd like that! Partly to enjoy what the 50s saw the future as (lol) and partly just for the overall bright aesthetic of it. It's bold and a lot of fun.

Johan Liebert: While I don't think he would much care for the genre, there's something about the idea behind clock punk that might draw him in. It's close to steampunk, but with more focus on the clockwork element, and I think the endless passage of time through a steampunk lens would draw him. Something about time being frozen within the confines of the world, but endlessly passing simultaneously.

Jan Suk: I feel like he'd be a fan of desert punk. He's a fan of old cop shows, and desert punk is the realm of harsher, wild wild west type of worlds where that kind of story would thrive. I bet he would love to see himself as a tough young sheriff in that kind of narrative.

Rudi Gillen: I think he'd have some fun with the notions of biopunk. It has some of the same narrative beats as cyberpunk (which I think he would find a lot of enjoyment in) but the focus is more specifically on the merge between technology and biology, so the narrative of cyborgs and "what makes a man/what makes a machine" crises...I think he would have an absolute field day with that.

Lotte Frank: I know Lotte's area of study isn't really ancient anthropology, but I do think she would enjoy something like sandal punk, which takes ancient civilization as its backdrop. As an anthropology major she would definitely love looking at how an ancient civilization would handle the world with advanced technology and contrasting it with the way things operate in her age.

Karl Neumann: I think that he would take the most enjoyment from junk punk. Rather than fitting a certain period of time or culture or location, this subgenre centers around the reuse and recycling of things that were cast out as junk. It's something that I think he would personally deeply relate to, given his time in foster care and being bounced around from family to family for a long time, so it would have a certain significance to his life. I think he'd also like the hopeful message of taking something viewed as garbage and repurposing it.

And that's about as much as I can come up with! Anyway you've given me some AUs to think about

[everythingsinred]

Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Natsume (pt. 18)

Hiya! I'm posting late, on account of my job. Editing these takes about an hour depending on the post and inserting the images takes a little more, but I didn't have a solid block of time to work on it, so I worked on it in pieces and I only just now finished.

This arc highlights Natsume's powerlessness. He's distancing himself from Mikan to protect her, but by doing this, he leaves her defenseless at times. He wants to be there for her but can't because of the corner he's been pushed into, and in his desperation he turns to anonymity.

Chapter Eighty-One

Hotaru, Natsume, and Ruka are running after them, but are caught by Tsubasa, who asks them what their plan is, exactly. Ruka turns to Natsume, who turns to Hotaru, who pretends she was just practicing her running for the Festival and then the boys started following her for no reason. This comic relief is a badly-needed break from all the bullying and blackmail of the arc so far.

This arc is full of fun comic relief, but the main plot is so depressing and frustrating that sometimes the comic relief is not enough.

In any case, all three of them know that the others are all working to take care of Mikan, even if she doesn't know it. They're all looking out for her in their own ways, even Natsume who seems to have publicly turned against her. At least Hotaru and Ruka can see the truth: he's still quite concerned about it, but he's in something of a bind now.

The next we see of Natsume, he’s walking with Tsubasa, being spied on by both Hotaru and Ruka. It’s here that we discover that Tsubasa has been transferred to the DA class, but is keeping this secret from Mikan. Moreover, he and Natsume are on a mission to locate Yuka, and they’re both aware that Mikan is her daughter. It’s interesting to know just how much information the DA class has on the other students that the other kids have no clue about. Hotaru and Ruka are shocked by this information, but for us as readers, it also demonstrates just how much work Natsume--and Tsubasa--are putting into protecting Mikan.

All this information is stuff they have to consider on their missions. They want to protect Yuka, because she’s Mikan’s mother, but they have no choice but to pursue and chase after her with raids and attacks. On top of that, Tsubasa is keeping his new ability class a secret, and Natsume has to hurt her with this Luna farce. It’s a lot to put on two kids, not that the ESP or Persona have much issue putting pressure on kids.

For Natsume in particular, it was fun while it lasted, being close to Mikan. He had relished and enjoyed it, and now he has to change pace. He’s willing to, because that’s how he can keep her smiling and having fun, even if he’s not on her team and can’t even be in her inner circle anymore. He’s willing to sacrifice anything for her, but we can see that it’s not any fun for him. Mikan is suffering in sadness, yes, but so is Natsume.

The next thing he has to do only makes things worse.

He confronts Mikan about the rumor Luna made up, about Mikan showing her underwear to the Fuukitai to avoid punishment. It’s obviously bogus: Mikan would never even think to do that, let alone actually do it. He knows that too, because Natsume knows her very well. He asks because he has to.

Mikan avoids answering, brushing it off as none of Natsume’s business, because she is also under Luna’s watchful gaze. So they end up having an argument in front of everyone, both not saying what they really mean, and instead doing as Luna commands, to keep everyone safe. Mikan points out that she isn’t his partner--or anything--anymore, so he should mind his business. Natsume then asks if that means his concern is a bother, and she confirms: yes. It’s a big fat pain.

It's heartbreaking and frustrating in equal spades.

It’s almost as if Natsume was testing something. Now he knows that Luna must have threatened Mikan in the storeroom. Something sinister happened there, and now Mikan is different, dishonest, mean. That’s not what she’s actually like, and now he’s concerned. Luna’s shadow is spreading and it’s threatening to encroach on Mikan’s light.

Chapter Eighty-Two

Natsume walks off, having heard all he needs to hear.

Luna is causing mayhem and strife to punish Mikan and Natsume specifically for their misbehavior on New Year’s. She wants Mikan to be isolated from Natsume in particular because he’s her number one protector. If there’s a wedge between them, Mikan is easier to target. After all, Mikan’s purpose at the academy is to lure in Yuka, and the more danger she is in, the more likely Yuka is to try and save her daughter. If Natsume is around, threatening Mikan becomes tricky. He’d never allow anything bad to happen to her, hence his desperation and sacrifice in this arc. In order to fulfill their goals regarding Yuka, they need Natsume out of Mikan’s picture.

Of course, despite Natsume’s secret intel being superior to Ruka or Hotaru’s (and definitely to Mikan’s), he’s still not entirely in the know. Yuka being the main target, for example, is information Natsume is not privy to, and couldn’t even imagine. This is a game Natsume is unaware that he cannot win. If he doesn’t distance himself from Mikan, she’ll be threatened, but if he does, she’ll be threatened. In reality, there's no way he can win this round.

Chapter Eighty-Three

Anyway, the Sports Fest doesn’t slow down for the kids’ drama. The athletic meets have begun, and now there is a relay race.

Ruka and Natsume are on different teams for the relay, and this has inspired Ruka to beat his best friend, so he can be number one in Mikan’s eyes for once.

I will talk way more about the “love triangle” aspect of NatsuMikan and the question of choice, autonomy, and agency in Mikan’s essay, because when it comes to Natsume's side of things, he's very much resigned to losing every romantic game, every relay race, every competition. It's no contest. He's not competing. He's withdrawn from the race, now more than ever. He will not participate. He is destined to lose, after all, so why even bother?

And so Ruka wins the actual relay, and Natsume watches as everyone has fun without him, something that he’s been accustomed to before. It hurts more now, undoubtedly, because for a time, he was actually a part of the group. Knowing what it feels like to fit in and have fun with everyone makes it even worse when it’s gone again. He used to separate himself from the rest and suffer all on his own, but now he’s returned to that state.

He hasn’t quite let go, either. His effort and commitment to the Sports Fest, despite all the drama with Mikan and Luna, demonstrate just how much he actually wants to participate. It’s not about having his friends around him. He actually likes being able to have fun, and be allowed to take part in an event with everyone else, even if he isn’t technically by his friends’ sides.

His bad feelings are only exacerbated by Luna, who shows up to taunt him. He shouldn’t worry about Mikan and Ruka, because they’ll be torn apart eventually. Whatever happiness they find right now is temporary. It won’t last, and Luna will make sure of it.

But Natsume loves both Mikan and Ruka, and that does not reassure him at all. He’s selfless, would rather they be together anyway. In a perfect world, maybe she could pick him, and it makes him sad that the world isn’t perfect and he can’t have what he wants, but he’s always at peace with losing. So he’s not at all comforted by the idea that the happiness his loved ones have found will dissipate in no time.

Chapter Eighty-Four

Luna then giggles, because whether or not Ruka and Mikan’s being split apart will result in Natsume’s happiness is another question entirely. She wants to rub it in that even if Ruka is out of the picture, he can never be with Mikan. Joke’s on her though, because Natsume has already come to terms with this the moment he fell in love with Mikan. He hasn’t been humoring ideas of love confessions and weddings and living happily ever after. It’s outside the realm of possibility, because his circumstances do not allow him much happiness at all.

The future seems bleaker than ever, and knowing that Ruka and Mikan are being kept under watch by the school, Natsume keeps an eye on them too. He’s feeling sad and heart-broken too, of course. He’s not perfect. He can’t erase feelings of jealousy or the ache of unrequited love just because he feels it’s his duty to make peace with them. It hurts, but he’ll carry through. That’s what he’s always done.

But people are gossiping about his presence, putting his position in jeopardy. Luna can’t know he’s still hanging around Mikan, even if Mikan herself is clueless to this. Before he can be discovered, he steals someone’s mask, the mask of a boy named Kusami whose hairstyle looks an awful lot like Natsume’s.

If only he could be allowed to just steal people's identities and not have to face any consequences for it. Alas.

Unfortunately for Natsume, the Borrowing Race is about to begin, and Kusami was arranged to be a participant. He put the mask on to avoid responsibility for his spying, but it’s bit him in the butt now.

Kusami benefits from this, indirectly, since kids who call him moron get the cold shoulder from Natsume, who doesn’t have the same easy-going personality.

It seems nobody actually wants to participate in the Borrowing Race. It’s very personal and vulnerable: you have to borrow a person or item you’d least want to borrow, as dictated on a small piece of paper assigned to you. It’s then judged by some mind-reading alices to test the validity of the borrowed items. The concept of the race functions around embarrassing and humiliating people, so naturally nobody would want to participate.

Natsume has gotten himself into trouble here. He can’t even make a run for it, though he really wants to, because for some reason people are hell-bent on Kusami competing. He’s in the second round, and starts running as he--or Kusami--is supposed to. He gets his paper and although we don’t see what’s written on it quite yet, we can see a focus on Mikan in one of the panels, so we can tell his first thought is to borrow her.

To confess anonymously in front of the whole school or to not confess anonymously in front of the whole school--that is the question.

And then in a few pages, emboldened by the mask he’s wearing, Natsume runs toward Mikan and grabs her wrist. He’s decided he will borrow her, because maybe she’ll never find out his true identity, and he can be selfish just this once. This could be his only chance ever to be honest about how he feels. He's had to lie and hide it for so long that it makes sense he'd take the first opportunity available to go for it. This is quite possibly the most selfish thing he’s done. If he gets caught, he’ll be entirely exposed.

Unlike Ruka, Natsume can't really win this race. He won't be number one in Mikan's eyes, ever. He can't ever tell her it's all for her. The very best he can do is compete with a mask on. Ruka can try his hardest and impress Mikan and Natsume feels he never will. It's not much of a competition when one person cannot and will not compete.

He runs, despite her confusion and obliviousness, or perhaps because of it.

And just as the fireworks displaying his prompt start going off in the sky, he lets her go and walks away resolutely. There. He’s participated.

“The person you love.”

Mikan is chasing after Natsume, but he can’t be caught. Being caught would ruin everything, and would make his selfish act even more selfish. He shoves the mask back into Kusami’s face, and takes off.

You'd think he'd be a bit happier to have finally confessed his feelings but he just looks miserable.

Natsume has been very selfish now. He didn’t have to grab Mikan. He could’ve borrowed anybody and lost. Does it matter if he wins? He’s not Kusami. He could’ve just gotten the race over with and run away, but instead he played along, because he wanted to confess. He’s never been so honest in his life. He wants her to know he loves her, even if she doesn’t know who “he” is. And if he gets caught, then Mikan will know for a fact that Natsume Hyuuga loves her, and everything he’s done so far--hyping up Ruka, distancing himself, being cruel to protect her, allowing Luna to cling to him--will have been for nothing. She’ll know it was all a ruse, and then she’ll be open to all sorts of dangers. But he risks it, because he just can’t hide it anymore. He always has to hide, always has to pretend, always has to sacrifice his own feelings for the sake of others. This time, he’ll say exactly what he means, made all the more easier by the fact that there’s a mask on his face.

He’s done something like this before, particularly when he kissed Mikan on Christmas.

And the Christmas kiss is nothing compared to this: an actual love confession. The kiss was just that, and he had plenty of excuses for why he’d kiss her. It wasn’t because he loved her, no way! It was because she kept saying the other one didn’t count. Or maybe he just wanted to know what it felt like. That’s all. The excuses were just another mask to hide behind.

What excuse could he possibly give for a love confession that a panel of mind-reading judges corroborated? If he’s caught, she will know.

All his tiny instances of selfishness are smaller examples of the same idea: he lets himself be affectionate for once. He can say he prefers her with her hair down, or hug her during the SA class labyrinth, or cuddle with her when he’s having a nightmare, just this one time, and then he’ll give up for good. She won’t notice. It won’t have an effect. It won’t have consequences. He’ll give up for good after; he’ll just do this one selfish thing and then never again. But he can’t give it up, and eventually Christmas happens. He kisses her, unloading so much affection into one action, as if he’s trying to just get it over with. He’ll just get all his love out with one kiss and then he’ll be okay to watch her fall in love with anybody else but him.

But he can’t. He can’t stop doing these little selfish things. He can’t suffocate his love and leave it to die, hidden and smothered like a skeleton in a closet. Despite his every attempt to kill it, to hide it, to pretend like it’s not important, it has only grown stronger. He loves her more and more everyday, and the more he loves her, the harder it is to pretend like he doesn’t care if he never gets what he wants.

He wants to be with her. He wants to kiss her and protect her openly. He wants to sit next to her in class and smile with her. He wants to spend time with her and be on her team for school events. He wants to hold her hand and tell her he loves her.

He doesn’t want to give it all up and wreck his own chances.

The longer he’s loved Mikan, the harder it’s been to be selfless like this. The yearning has only gotten stronger, and now it takes all his power to be cruel to her. What used to come naturally, like being cold and distant and insulting her, has become difficult. What comes naturally to him now is to confess his love or hold her hand or be around her.

Despite the fact that Natsume was the only person who seems to have borrowed the correct person for the race, the White team still loses, on account of him not actually being Kusami.

At the end of the chapter, he sits alone, brooding in a tree.

He hasn’t been caught, so his actions have no consequences for now. He can sit there and mourn what could have been. He can’t be with Mikan, let alone confess his feelings. This was just an excuse to live out a fantasy. He wants to be loud about his feelings, not muffle them. But this is Natsume we’re talking about. He never gets what he wants. And in his opinion, he shouldn’t because Ruka deserves a happy ending way more. And Mikan would never love him back anyway. Ruka would be better for her.

This is just another instance of Natsume promising himself that he’ll do one more selfish thing before he gives up forever. But we know he’s bad at keeping his word, and this is no exception.

Chapter Eighty-Five

Before Mikan can confront Natsume about the borrowing race, Luna steps in, covering for him, claiming she was watching with him from the bleachers during the race. She clings to his arm and drags him off, spurring even more rumors that he and Luna are an item.

She's so violent with him for really no reason.

He tells her to get off, but she reminds him that she’s just done him a favor (though it’s really just a favor to herself). She grabs his hand and holds it tight, and again people get the wrong idea. It’s interesting how such physically painful things come across as romantic to the people around them, who think that Luna is simply holding his hand. Natsume’s persistent look of misery and apathy doesn’t deter people at all from rumors that he’s dating her. After all, Luna is clinging to him with a smile on her face and he’s not doing anything to peel her off, so it must mean they have feelings for each other. Natsume has been so good at hiding his feelings, that nobody--not even the girl he really loves--knows what it looks like when he’s loving and affectionate to somebody. They think he's into Luna, and can't see that what he really needs is help.

Chapter Eighty-Six

Luna has just arranged a terrifying fall for Mikan, knowing she’d use her alice as a knee-jerk reaction to save herself, thus causing others to think she did it for the attention. Mikan could’ve been seriously injured, or worse, and is definitely in trouble now, so Natsume is furious.

He confronts Luna, and the only thing stopping him from hurting her is that he could put Mikan in even more danger by doing so. But Luna is remorseless, giggling that she had no choice but to threaten Mikan. After all, she’s just doing what the principal said they’d do. Mikan should have been put in Persona’s custody in the DA class immediately following the Hana Hime party incident, but Natsume’s sacrifices have allowed her to skate by. Luna is there to observe and punish what she perceives as bad behavior, and anything less than abject misery from Mikan is bad behavior to her.

She warns Natsume: if he really wants to protect Mikan, then he’ll make sure she’s hated. That way, she won’t be in danger.

Powerlessness.

Natsume can’t go around confessing his love to her with a mask on anymore. He needs to sacrifice their relationship entirely in order to keep her safe. And so he does.

He’s sitting on a bench, surrounded by his classmates. Permy is adamantly defending Mikan. These rumors that Mikan fell on purpose for the attention are obviously stemming from Luna, who has the whole class wrapped around her finger. She turns to Natsume, looking for back-up, but Natsume has been told clearly what to do in order to really protect Mikan, and it has nothing to do with standing up for her against these rumors.

Instead, he says that it’s best not to be involved with Mikan anymore. He doesn’t want to see her or hear about her anymore, and he doesn’t want to associate with anyone who associates with her. He tries to give off the impression that he hates her, that he’s disgusted by her.

Then he sees that she’s been there all along, listening.

This is almost like the scene where he tells her he hates everything about her. He’s doing the hard thing to protect her. He’s lying, willing to hurt her, willing to be the villain, if it means she’s in the light and out of the dark.

But this is different.

Mikan could take it before. She yelled back that she hated him too, just as much, and even though that was a lie, it was still something she was able to say. She could argue and fight. This time she crumbles and runs away.

And he’s different too. Before, he could walk away, resolute and determined. Knowing that she’ll be better off this way was enough for him. He didn’t even look back. This time, he can’t leave things like that.

After all, last time was easier. He didn’t think she actually liked him back then. It would really only hurt him. He knows better now. Mikan cares about him, and it doesn’t matter what shape that care takes. It only matters that hearing Natsume call her worthless brings her to tears now, and that’s enough for him to feel way more conflicted.

This time, he apologizes.

He doesn't say he's sorry, but he's saying he's sorry.

He finds Kusami, steals his mask once again, never saying one word to a kid who has been generously keeping his secret for him. He runs after Mikan, and when he finally catches up to her, he hugs her.

Wearing the mask while hugging her is like wearing a raincoat in a hurricane. It won’t change anything or protect him at all. In fact, all he’s doing is giving her confirmation that it’s him, but he doesn’t care.

He doesn’t want her to think he hates her. He can’t stand it anymore. He’s sorry and he didn’t mean it.

He hugs her and this is different from his selfish hugs during the RPG or when he was having a nightmare. Those were little stolen moments for him to remember. He could take them from Mikan and cherish them as precious memories, even if she never thought of them again. This one is different. This one is for her, to comfort her, to apologize.

It’s all the things he can’t say. I didn’t mean it. Sorry. I have to do this. I really do care about you, I promise. It’s not real. Luna’s making me do this.

But before she can turn around to look at him, he leaves again.

He knows, because of Luna’s warning, that Mikan’s life will only get harder. He wants to help her, but by helping her, he’s placing himself further from her, making it harder for him to protect her in the future. If he’s distant from her to keep Luna at bay, then he’s not around to protect her from Luna in the storeroom, or during the cheerleading competition.

It’s what one might call a Catch-22. No matter what he chooses, he loses. And the worst part is that so does Mikan.

Conclusion

Natsume isn't an active participant in the last few chapters of this arc, so this is how I'll wrap the meta here. In the next arc there will be much to say about him. The Sports Fest went deep into Natsume's love for Mikan. It's not surprising that his love inspires selflessness. Natsume will always put others in front of himself and the more he loves someone, the more fervent he is about self-sacrifice. The truly beautiful thing about Natsume's love for Mikan is that it inspires selfishness too. And I never mean selfish as bad when I'm talking about Natsume. His love for Mikan is special in that it makes him want things for himself too.

I'm having doubts about being able to post tomorrow, so I apologize for only two posts this week. Expect normal posting next week at the very least! This essay is probably more than halfway through already, though I can't say for sure how much is left. Where I am now in terms of essay-writing is already deep in the Time-Travel Arc and as a result there's entire chapters I've skipped. Like. Seven in a row at times. Yikes. So basically we're pretty far in!

<- Previous Next ->

[silver-lily-louise]

A Whole New World - a Shadowhunters fanfic

Chapter 2 - A New (Fantastic) Point of View

Summary:  In which Magnus - with the help of Disney's 'Aladdin' - clears up some discrepancies, and Alec most definitely does NOT get flustered. Credit goes to Disney’s ‘Aladdin’ for all titles so far. A/N:  Towards the end of this chapter, when they're discussing how the genie in 'Aladdin' is a prisoner, there's some talk of past slavery practices regarding genies. I believe I've handled it sensitively, but please let me know if anything needs adjusting.

Chapter 1: AO3 / Tumblr Chapter 2: AO3 / or read it below!

~oOo~

When he wakes up, a part of him thinks that he must have dreamed it all. A genie? A magic lamp? It feels absurd to even consider it. This kind of thing just doesn’t happen, and certainly not to people like him.

But as he stretches, blinking the sleep from his heavy eyes and yawning cool awareness into his brain, the memories clarify, and he knows that they feel too real to be anything but. Still, after he slides on his slippers and shrugs into a hoodie to stave off the chill, he wanders into the living room, and his stomach flips when he catches sight of the lamp on the mantelpiece.

He turns to the kitchen, and Magnus is there, looking just as decadent in teal as he did in scarlet the day before. He’s leaning back in one chair, his legs propped up on a second, a heavy book in one hand and what appears to be a mimosa in the other. When Alec enters the kitchen, his eyes flick over, and a wide smile spreads across his face as he puts the book down. ‘Ah, good morning, Alexander. Hungry?’ ‘Yeah, starving,’ Alec says, feeling the beginnings of an instinctive, wondering smile on his own face.

Magnus swings himself around until he’s sitting up properly in his chair, and waves a hand across the table. Two plates of Belgian waffles, a jug of maple syrup, a bowl of chopped strawberries, and a cup of coffee appear on the table. ‘Your coffee – cream or sugar?’ Alec manages to collect himself enough to answer, though he can’t quite bring his eyebrows down from his hairline. ‘Uh, no – black’s good.’ He takes a seat opposite Magnus, helping himself to strawberries. ‘Wait, is this one of my wishes?’ he asks, mostly as a joke. He doesn’t think it would be, but what does he know about how all this works? Magnus snorts. ‘Please. As if I’d let you waste a wish on something so trivial.’ He looks at Alec, tilting his head in that same assessing way he did the night before. ‘So, you’re convinced that all of this is real now, hm?’ ‘I’m… seventy percent convinced,’ Alec allows, drizzling a thin hatching of syrup over his breakfast. Magnus beams at him. ‘My, my, a thirty percent jump in a single night? You flatter me, Alexander.’ He elbows his book gently to one side as he nabs the bowl of strawberries, and Alec glances at the cover. ‘Les Mis?’ he says. Magnus hmms an affirmative around his first mouthful of waffle. ‘I must admit, I avoided it for a long time – I tend to get a little bored when a story drags on past three volumes. But, you know. When I got stuck, and it became apparent I was in for something of an extended stay, I took the opportunity to catch up on some of the lengthier works I’d yet to read. It’s quite good – though I must say, it’s a lot… bleaker, without the rousing musical numbers to liven things up.’

They eat in a strangely comfortable silence for a while, before Alec’s curiosity gets the better of him. ‘So these… wishes,’ he says. ‘I’m a little lost. How does it all work?’ ‘Fairly much as you’d expect,’ Magnus says with a shrug. ‘You ask for something, and if it’s reasonable, I give it to you.’ ‘Reasonable like… possible? Or reasonable like ‘a good idea’?’ ‘A combination of the two – I can do many things that you may have previously considered impossible, but I have both my limits and my standards. I rarely deny wishes, but when I do, there’s always good cause for it.’

Alec mulls that over. He didn’t even know that genies could refuse wishes. Or travel. Or… well, the point is, every time he thinks he understands the situation here – ridiculous as it is – Magnus reveals something that highlights just how clueless he is. An idea forms in his head, and he clears his throat to voice it before he can chicken out. ‘You know,’ he says, ‘I think I’d feel more – prepared, for the responsibility of these wishes, if I knew more about… all of this.’ He gestures to the breakfast, to Magnus, behind him towards the lamp, before forging ahead. ‘So. With that in mind, it’s occurred to me that the only point of reference I really have is Aladdin.’ Magnus’ nose wrinkles at the mere mention of the film. ‘So I have an idea. It’s my day off, so why don’t we hang out for a while, and you can tell me everything they got wrong? Then I’ll know where I stand.’ He smiles, hoping it doesn’t come across as nervous as he feels.

Magnus frowns a little, humming in consideration as he finishes his drink. The silence stretches long enough that Alec starts to internally berate himself – you idiot, he’s a powerful magical being, he doesn’t want to ‘hang out’ with you and talk about a movie he hates – but by the time he puts down his glass, Magnus’ frown has cleared, a small smile in its place. ‘Sounds like fun,’ he says. He waves a hand, instantly clearing the table, and begins moving into the living room, where he snaps his fingers and an instantly recognisable title menu appears on the T.V.. ‘Oh – we don’t have to actually watch it,’ Alec says, back-pedalling. ‘Nonsense,’ Magnus counters, ‘it’ll be much easier to explain the mistakes as we go along.’ He settles into a corner of the couch which faces the T.V., shifting a couple of pillows behind him to get comfortable. ‘Besides, I may dislike the inaccuracies, but as I mentioned earlier, I do enjoy a rousing musical number.’ His eyes shine, almost hypnotic, as he gestures for Alec to take a seat beside him, and Alec finds himself doing so, finding that he’s suddenly incredibly thoughtful about the exact meaning of the phrase respectable distance.

The movie begins to play, and Alec tries to relax into the familiarity of it, but he’s hyper-aware of the sheer weirdness of his situation. He’s sitting there, watching Aladdin – a movie he and Jace must have seen hundreds of times as children – as a grown man in his own apartment, sitting next to an actual, dazzling, real-life, eight-hundred-year-old genie.

Jace would never fucking believe this, he thinks.

***

The first few scenes of the movie pass without much comment – apparently, Magnus’ issues with the movie don’t concern the worldbuilding. Alec’s first query comes when Aladdin starts to explore the Cave of Wonders. ‘So, question – magic carpets? Is that a thing?’ ‘They used to be,’ Magnus says. ‘They still exist, but they’re not a popular travel option these days. Too many cameras about. Before, if someone outside of the magical world spotted you, they’d likely be called crazy. Nowadays, a shot of a flying carpet would go viral in seconds, and it’s such a pain trying to keep the whole thing invisible while you’re trying to steer, too. I tried it around a decade ago, and I nearly crashed into the Eiffel Tower.’

The lamp comes into shot, and Magnus snorts. ‘Ugh. As if any self-respecting genie would reside in such a plain lamp. What’s the point of immortality if you don’t live a little?’ He waves towards his own lamp; Alec swears that it glows for a moment, and he grins. Show-off. ‘Now that,’ Magnus continues proudly, ‘is a lamp. Tasteful, not gaudy – but still decorative, still interesting to look at.’ ‘Minimalism hasn’t caught on in the magical world, then?’ Alec asks teasingly. ‘Not among genies, at least. By and large, we have excellent taste.’

Aladdin rubs the lamp, and Alec asks, ‘Another mistake?’ Magnus tilts his hand back and forth, in a gesture that says eh, sort of. ‘Technically, that would work. Sort of like how if an earthquake hit, you’d likely jump out of bed. It’s a little annoying for those of us on the other side, though.’ He turns to Alec, raising an eyebrow. ‘As you can probably guess, from how I tried to shake you off last night.’ It takes Alec a moment to remember what he means. ‘Oh, with the – oh.’ His hand moves unconsciously to the nape of his neck, and he feels sheepish. It seems so obvious now. ‘Of course. That was you. I thought it was just some weird, vibrational echo or something. Actually, I thought it might be some sort of damage to the lamp.’ Magnus chuckles. ‘Yeah, I can understand how that would make more sense to you. For future reference, though – if I’m in the lamp and you need me, asking politely works just as well as shaking my whole house.’ ‘Noted.’

Onscreen, the genie gives the rules for wish-making. ‘Two of those are accurate,’ Magnus confirms. ‘Necromancy isn’t possible without dark, dark magic, far beyond even the most powerful genies. And wishing for more wishes isn’t something any genie will grant – we’re not beholden to some sort of magical contract, wish-wise. We make an offer we think is fair, and we stick to our word.’ He rolls his eyes. ‘Most of us, anyway. There are a few rotten apples in every bushel, right?’ Alec nods. ‘Makes sense. So wishes are more like… gifts?’ ‘Exactly. It’s just a way we repay favours, or choose to make life more interesting. It’s nice using one’s powers to give someone else what they want for a change. Try it, next time you’re bored.’ Alec smiles. ‘Huh. Cool idea.’ He pauses, remembering how they got onto this topic. ‘Wait, so you can make people fall in love?’ ‘Of course. It’s honestly not that difficult – a bit of brain chemistry here, a dash of soul-shifting there, et voila. But personally, I’ve only done it once.’ ‘Why?’ Magnus shrugs. ‘It doesn’t feel right to me, usually. I wouldn’t want someone to alter my thoughts that way, to mess around with my emotions. It seems a horribly personal invasion. On the odd occasion that I’m asked to do it, I refuse. I tell the wish-maker to pick something else.’ ‘Except for one time?’ Alec prompts gently. Magnus is quiet for a moment. ‘You don’t have to tell me if you’d rather not,’ Alec assures him. Magnus shakes his head. ‘No, it’s okay, it’s just…’ He sighs. ‘The one time I granted that wish was to a young gay woman a couple of centuries ago. She was due to be wed in an arranged marriage, and she couldn’t bear the thought of spending her life with someone she knew she’d never have feelings for, no matter how kind he was. So she asked me to make her fall in love with him, and I agreed.’ He glances at Alec, briefly flashing a sad smile. ‘She was happy, after that – she went through with the wedding, their families were overjoyed, and she raised three beautiful children with a good man whom she cherished, and who cherished her in return. But I wonder, sometimes, if I made the right choice. If there wasn’t some – some great wrong, there, in helping someone to deny something so fundamental about themselves.’ He settles back on the sofa, attention returning to the screen. ‘I think about her a lot, actually. I can only pray she didn’t come to regret it; that I did a good enough job, so that she didn’t feel like something was off, or like something was missing.’

‘Hey.’ Alec reaches out, places a hand on Magnus’ shoulder. ‘She was hurting, and you did the best you could to help her. You tried to make her happy – and from what you’re saying, it seems to me like you succeeded. I don’t think that’s wrong.’ Magnus turns back to face him, and under the weight of those golden eyes, Alec suddenly becomes self-conscious, quickly removing his hand. ‘Thank you, Alexander,’ Magnus says softly. Alec nods awkwardly, and turns back to the movie, feeling Magnus’ gaze linger for a few seconds before he does the same.

By this point, Aladdin’s genie is confessing that he’s a prisoner. ‘Poor guy. No seafront visits for him, huh?’ Alec asks, trying to lighten the mood. Magnus laughs gently, and something eases in Alec’s chest. ‘No, apparently not,’ he agrees. ‘There are ways to bind a genie to their lamp, so they can only wander a little while summoned, but they went out of fashion centuries ago. Actually, that’s where our be careful what you wish for reputation started,’ he says. ‘Trapped genies couldn’t refuse requests, the same way free genies could. So instead, they started to twist their masters’ words, giving them dark shadows of what they truly wanted. As a protest, it worked wonderfully – once people realised that owning a trapped genie wouldn’t guarantee that they’d get what they wanted, demand for them fell, and the unscrupulous lot who’d been taking part in the practice realised that it wasn’t worth all the danger and effort of the binding ritual anymore.’ ‘Well, that’s good.’ He feels a little bad for making a joke of it, now, even though he hadn’t known. No-one deserved that kind of trapped half-life. ‘Yeah. It’s a lot nicer walking the earth without worrying about slavers lurking around every corner. And without any of that interference, we can go where we like. We just have to take our lamp with us.’ Alec smiles, still feeling a little somber from the heavy topic, but tickled by the thought he’s just had. ‘You’re like a really cool tortoise, then.’

Magnus turns to face him, and Alec feels himself turn red as that beautiful, genuine smile re-emerges, quickly dissolving into a hearty, raucous laugh. ‘I don’t know whether to be pleased or insulted by that, Alexander.’ ‘Hey,’ Alec says, feigning indignation even as he laughs, too. ‘I love tortoises. And I called you really cool.’ ‘You did, you did,’ Magnus acknowledges, sighing deeply as the laughter comes to an end. ‘Anyway – yes, that’s the gist of it. We’re free to wander, but we take our home with us wherever we go.’ Alec turns back to the movie, settling a little deeper into the couch cushions and tucking his legs up beside him. ‘Sounds pretty good to me.’ ‘Yeah,’ Magnus says quietly. ‘It is.’

The rest of the movie passes too quickly, the familiar story interspersed with occasional bouts of warm, comfortable conversation. ‘By the way,’ Magnus says, shortly after Aladdin is thrown into the sea. ‘If at any point during our little agreement, I find myself in a position to save your life, I won’t make you use one of your wishes for it.’ He winks. Alec chuckles, and hopes it isn’t obvious that his heart rate has just doubled. ‘Very kind of you.’

~oOo~

[dragonshoard]

On the brightside, at least Charlie gets someone she trusts to watch her children if he gets sucked in the spell with them. ( knowing his luck this can happen ) This does raise the question of can he be redeemed, would Heaven allow it, and would he want to after everything that has happened. I do wonder how did he fair during those 100 years in hell though. That experince can change you.

My immediate answer is NO he probably can’t be redeemed if he’s being criminalized for a potential future that he brought about (the apocalypse, no less). 

He doesn’t like angels. It’s bordering on serious hatred tbh. 

And ye 100 years in Hell would definitely change somebody. He’s on not running from the overlords anymore if this was in the Dimension Hop AU though so he has that going for him. He does have a far bleaker view on humanity than he did before death. After a while, he starts believing that he belongs in Hell. He demonizes a lot of the things he did in life, trying to figure out why he was there until he finally hits something closer to the real reason. 

He genuinely believes that he’s a horrible person but, despite this, does try his best. He trusts very few people and even then it’s limited (he tried that twice and it backfired horribly). 

Despite this, he’s had to normalize a lot of things after nearly a century in hell. 

He doesn’t flinch at blood shed, limb decapitation, and most other body gore. He doesn’t hesitate to incapacitate people much anymore (this may include some of the mentioned). He’ll still feel kind of guilty afterwards but they get back up afterwards so it’s hard to feel too bad. 

He does curse quite a bit (not excessively, but still). 

His humor is very very dark. 

He hates drug use and drinking but doesn’t comment on it anymore and just looks the other way.

[pettishrew]

P E T E R   P E T T I G R E W   B A C K G R O U N D

BASICS:

Name: Peter Thomas Pettigrew Age: Twenty Birthday: August 22nd Job: Obliviator w/ the Department of Magical Accident and Catastrophes House: Gryffindor 

PERSONALITY: 

+ forgiving, analytical, easy-going, optimistic    - forgiving - peter is the type of person that could be stepped one over and over again and he would forgive the person. It would be easy to say he would be bullied had it not been for the rest of the boys, but he probably wouldn’t have even considered it like that. He is so used to being the butt of the joke, or the scapegoat for a situation that he has grown very complicate and even willing falls into that role. This often makes him the best suited to be the mediator to some of the more temperamental discussions between them all.      -  analytical - although described my McGonagall as someone who was not as talented, smart, nor-popular as James and Sirius, Peter is extremely analytical. He likes to think through a situation before acting and being able to weigh and consider the various outcomes. This doesn’t mean that he is unwilling to go into risky situations, because he definitely is, but he likes to know what he stands to lose if things go sour. The world to him is a very large list of pros and cons, he is just ultimately deciding how the chips fall.     - easy-going - as personalities go Peter provides a nice contrast to the rest of the boy because he tends to go with the flow, more excited to be included than opinionated on what they should do. He tends not to harbor a lot of stress and is very passive when it comes to a variety of topics. This makes him easy to be around, and sometimes he provides more of a wall for people to talk at than someone who is actively apart of the conversation. This makes him a stellar listener and someone to confide in.      - optimistic - generally his outlook on the world leans toward the side of optimism, he likes to assure people that things are going to be all right even if it does not distinctly look like it’s going to actually be that way. This is also part of the reason he seemed to get low marks in classes because he was optimistic about the outcomes without always putting in the effort or work to receive a higher one. Overall his optimism is often a welcome change in a world that seems to be getting bleaker by the day. Just because his words are optimistic though doesn’t mean he wholeheartedly believes them. He would just rather lie to placate someone than strike fear in them.  -  fearful, cunning, indecisive, meek    - fearful - peter’s main motivation in life has always been fear. It began when he was younger with his parents and has continued onto his adult life. War, in particular, makes people do things based out of fear, and Peter is not exempt. Him joining the Order in some blind faith act in his friends, in this lie that Gryffindor’s are always brave, and that they are going to win this. He is fearful of what they would think of him if he declines. He is fearful of a future in which he fights and dies. He is fearful of what happens if he lives.  And most of all, his boggart even, has shown that his greatest fear is Lord Voldemort. He is plagued with the unending sense of doom that looms around them, and how inescapable it truly is.      - cunning - peter pettigrew is a head shorter than Sirius their fourth year, and chubbier than him too according to Harry’s flashback. He is literally and figuratively looked over, not just by his friends, but by his enemies too. There is something about him, perhaps it’s his demeanor, that allows people to discredit his malicious intentions and motivations. It allows him to be cunning ( he was a hat stall between Slytherin and Gryffindor after all ) and uses that to his advantage. He was not some bumbling idiot that his memory would like to paint him, but he was smart and used to advance himself, even if it was to the detriment of his friends.        - indecisive - to the annoyance of many of his friends it often takes Peter a long time to make any sort of decision. He is more easily swayed if he his prodded by someone else who has a stronger opinion and this is mostly due to how analytical he likes to be. There are very few things in life had has decided for himself without the proper time to actually consider everything,       - meek - due to his fearful nature the boy tends to not be as outspoken as some of his other counterparts. He leans toward the meeker side and this often means that people who only interact with him in passing do not get to know who Peter actually is, or what would motivate him. This also contributes to why people are able to write him off so quickly despite his obvious talents for not only being supportive but also logical about his actions.  

BIOGRAPHY: ( it’s not the trigger list but the bio has some emotional abuse aspects )

     The Pettigrew Family is not one of any status. Poor Enid Pettigrew fell in love with muggle-born wizard Sean Morivan when they were freshly out of school themselves. Throughout their school careers, they did not accomplish anything worth noting, and this mediocrity continued onto their adult lives. They were distinctly middle class and never strived to provide above their means for their life. They saved where they could, spent minimally, and ultimately were on track to lead a quiet life. That was until Enid realized that she was pregnant, which was not in their life plan, but she had Peter anyway.  It was tight on their budget and it was going to make their lives more difficult, but Enid loved the boy so much even before he was born that there was no contest.        He was particularly close with his mother, but even in his youth, he could tell that there was a coldness from his father that he could not place. Peter tried his best to be just like his father, whether it was in intention or walking stance, his Father was the type of person that he wanted to grow up to be just like. However, Sean wanted less to do with him than that, he tolerated the boy but he was never nurturing. Enid tried to do the best for both of them, but she had her own shortcomings. She would leave Peter alone for long stretches of time so that he slowly learned that in order to survive he would have to care for himself. His existence was regulated to something that was better seen, but not heard, something that he adapted surprisingly well too.       Throughout his youth, his Father would comment on the boy’s weight, or demeanor. His lack of skills when it came to practical muggle things that no one had even taken the time to teach him. His words stung on such a young mind, especially from the person who he strived to emulate most. He was not the only one this fell down on though, because as Peter grew older, the arguments that came from his parents grew louder. Sean would speak poorly about Enid’s ability as a mother, or the way she cooked, it was constant in his words, whether passive or active. He was a big lumbering figure who cast a big shadow. When he got home from work Peter would often hide in the closet in his room, trying to create a reality better for himself in there.         Around his tenth birthday, a year shy of Hogwarts, his Father left out of the blue. It was mysterious and without a reason that Peter could find. Peter took on his Mother’s maiden last name as she reverted back to it and they were a small, but happier family for it. Old habits die hard though and Peter was never free from wishing that his Father would come back. Never free from thinking that he was the reason that he had left in the first place.  As the boy headed off to Hogwarts he was worried about making friends, there were fewer opportunities in his childhood to form those sorts of connections. On top of that, he was unsure about what house he felt suited him best – his Father had been in Slytherin, but his Mother had been a Hufflepuff. There was no exception for what he was supposed to be and thus wasn’t sure what to root for. Luckily after his hat stall, he found himself in a sea of red and gold, making fast friends with Sirius, James, and Remus, who were the best people he had met in his entire life.        He would have liked to think that he knew what friendship was before them, but he didn’t. They were much as a family as anything else he had and for the most part, he considered them as such. He was there to listen if they needed to rant or to help Remus study for his exams, more than anything he was happy to have a place where he felt not only safe but wanted. He had spent so much of his life with a poor opinion of himself that it was nice for the tides of change to overcome him while they were in school.  However, throughout this time there was a lot of issues that Peter dealt with in unhealthy ways throughout his time, because it allowed him to fully experience the traumatic and unhealthy nature of his childhood, in a way that he had never been able to process before in order to spare Enid’s feelings on the matter.        After Hogwarts, it hit him that perhaps throughout his time there he ought to have come up with a plan for his future. It was at the suggestion of one of the professors who had been keen enough to notice his non-verbal spell casting talents that he pursue a career with the Ministry as obliviator. It was not like he had any better plans, so that was what he pursued as the world around him began to shift. At the urging of his friends, he joined the Order – terrified – and began to be considered as someone who was apart of the resistance. In all honesty, the prospect of a war terrifies him. As he goes through the motions of weighing the pros and cons of what the outcome of his war has from him, he is beginning to be faced with the bleak realization that the odds might be stacked against them. He doesn’t dare say it aloud though, because saying it aloud makes it real and it’s better for now that it say a thought experiment. 

HEADCANONS:

H1: Peter has always craved attention. There was always something about him that allowed him to naturally blend into the background. Overlooked, and undervalued, he found himself begging for his parent's attention, begging for the positive attention of an adult.  Enid tried her best and probably came closest to that, but everyone else seemed to pass him by. McGonagall undervalues him, pinning him as a bumbling idiot before he can even display talent. His friends are a beacon, but they are also a metric to which he can be compared. He’s not as charming as James, or a smart as Remus, or as cool as Sirius. Peter is always compared to all the nots that comprise him, instead of the positives. Even if someone else doesn’t do it Peter will do it for himself. 

H2: Peter truly enjoys his animagus form. Most people would have been disappointed with a rat, but it brought him a vague sense of comfort. He enjoys the fact that he is a smaller, faster animal in comparison with a larger animal. Not only is it easier to hide in dangerous situations but he likes being in smaller spaces. While most people might be unsettled and feel claustrophobic, Peter just finds it cozy. Something about the whole practice makes him feel safer. So he wouldn’t change it even if he could. 

H3: Peter isn’t often one for vices, in fact by all accounts he’s a lightweight when it comes to liquor. He does have a pesky habit of smoking cigarettes though. It is something he picked up when he got out of Hogwarts. It was a way to destress from his chaotic job at times. It’s something that he has tried to quit a couple of times, but it keeps coming back to him. With the tensions with the war rising steadily since the Curse was laid out, he’s given up on dealing with that particular vice. He is often chided by his mother about the health concerns with them. So when he’s around the company who knows him well he is more likely to hide the habit than he would otherwise. 

H4: Peter has an intense sweet tooth. Probably to the point where the attendants at Honeydukes know his name. When he was younger he collected a ton of the chocolate frog cards. He is also one that would share the wealth if there were people around him to do so. If chocolate frogs aren’t available Sugar Quills are his next favorite. 

H5: Peter often has a stutter. It’s something that happened when he’s nervous. It was really pronounced when he was a kid. His mother would often tell him to work through it and envision the word. As he got older and grew comfortable so it doesn’t happen as often anymore. However, if he’s really intently nervous it will come out for a portion of the time. He hates it and will do his best to hide it if given the option. 

[themurphyzone]

Dooferella Ch 1

Summary: Heinz has to read to children at the local library as community service, but things go awry when Heinz uses a Fairy Tale-inator to spice up the story of Cinderella. Unfortunately, something malfunctions and Heinz is transported into a strange fairy tale world! Now Dooferella, he’s stuck with a long list of chores for his parents and goody two shoes brother until a summons from the kingdom’s headquarters arrives….

Ch 1: Once Upon a Time in the Danville Public Library

Musical cliptastic countdowns were not a viable way to knock out two hundred hours of community service. Monogram’s contract had been rewritten to include a Will Not Ever Co-Host with Heinz Doofenshmirtz clause, and Perry refused to cheat and add more hours onto the community service form, though he made a small concession and factored in the ten minutes of commercial breaks.

Heinz still had a grand total of 199 hours and 30 minutes of community service left.

Well, 198 hours and 30 minutes after this reading gig at the library.

Reading to children was something an upstanding citizen might do, but no evil scientist worth their salt would be doing something considered beneficial and good to society in such a public area.  

Heinz’s evil street cred was taking a nosedive, though he didn’t have much to begin with.

“CAN I PICK THE STORY, DAD?” Norm asked. “I’VE BEEN BRUSHING UP ON POPULAR CHILDREN’S BOOKS.”

“I’m not your dad,” Heinz snapped. “I really gotta fix whatever bug is causing you to say that. Besides, the story-picking privileges belong solely to the storyteller, which is me. Last I checked, the Mother Goose Corner isn’t a democracy. Not that it would matter, since kids can’t vote and stuff.”

Norm crashed through the library wall, leaving a giant gaping hole and massive amount of rubble where the entrance used to be. The head librarian made several furious shushing motions in Norm and Heinz’s direction, but didn’t look up from the thick tome she was reading.

“CAN WE READ THE LITTLE ENGINE THAT COULD?” Norm asked as they headed to the Mother Goose Corner. “I THINK IT’S A VERY INSPIRING STORY ABOUT OVERCOMING HARDSHIP AND-“

“Last time I read you that story, you repeated ‘I think I can’ ad nauseam and prevented Perry the Platypus from hearing my spiel on the Banana Peel-inator!” Heinz retorted. “I’ll be picking the books from here, because chances are you’ll wind up stealing a catchphrase or mantra and I’ll be the one dealing with the copyright issues that come out of that…actually, making copyrights could make a good evil scheme one day. Doof-patented self-destruct buttons, bratwurst brands, and evil! I should definitely copyright evil. And suing and forcing people to shoulder their own attorney fees is also evil, so that’s a bonus! And with that kind of monopoly, I can take over and rule the ENTIRE! TRI! STATE! AREA!”

He cackled evilly, though the moment was rudely cut off when a group of middle-aged women shushed him. Heinz scowled. Their shushing was at a way higher decibel level than his cackling. At least his brand of evil laughter didn’t threaten to destroy people’s eardrums. Besides, the drummer from Love Handel was always rhythmically stamping books at the check-in and nobody complained about that.

The Mother Goose Corner was mercifully secluded from the rest of the library. A blue curtain decorated with waterfowl separated the small room from any prying eyes.

“Perry the Platypus would love this curtain. Remind me to ask someone where I can buy one of these things. Probably wrap it up and make it this year’s Christmas present. Alongside another vase. He liked the last one I sent him,” Heinz said.

“HI, MY NAME IS NORM. I LIKE SQUIRRELS AND EVERYTHING ELSE LITTLE BOYS ENJOY,” Norm greeted a young boy with a green baseball cap. The other kids quickly flocked to the edges of the mat to avoid getting crushed by Norm’s titanium posterior.

“I’m Balthazar Horowitz, but I’m trying to legally change it to Ballpit Kid!” the boy exclaimed.

“MY DAD IS TODAY’S STORYTELLER,” Norm declared. “I’M VERY PARTIAL TO THE LITTLE ENGINE THAT COULD. HINT HINT.”

“Real subtle, Norm,” Heinz muttered. “And for the millionth time, I’m not your dad!”

Someone tugged on his lab coat, and Heinz glanced down. A little girl with puffy blonde pigtails stared back at him, rocking back and forth on her heels cutely. “Excuse me, but may I pick today’s story?” she giggled.

She was adorable, but it was the calculating sort of adorable.

When Vanessa was little, she pulled the innocent look if she wanted something. Heinz’s resolve crumbled every time.  

But since this girl was a total stranger to him, it was going to be way easier to resist.

“Nope, doesn’t matter how cute and innocent you make yourself,” Heinz said as he turned away from the girl and leafed through the stack of books by the storyteller’s chair. Thankfully, The Little Engine That Could wasn’t among their choices. “I already told Norm that I was picking today’s book and I’m not budging on the matter. Ugh, not that any of these options are any better. I don’t get how books on overeating caterpillars or uncreative ursine parents who can’t come up with better names for their kids than Brother and Sister can be engaging to kids nowadays.”

Heinz rejected five books before a tiny black shoe stomped on his hand. A pudgy hand grabbed the front of his turtleneck, and he found himself face to face with the cute little girl.

“Look, I’ll cut you some slack since you’re obviously new to the Mother Goose Corner,” the girl said casually. “But I’m going to warn you once and only once. This is my turf and I pick the stories. And don’t bother warning anyone else. The other kids won’t squeal on me. Nobody outside this room will ever believe you. Except for maybe Candace, but I have my own methods of discrediting her. Capiche?”

“Alright!” Heinz yelped, throwing up his hands in surrender. Pint-sized powerhouses were dangerous to push around, but at least Perry the Platypus was firmly on the good side. He was definitely not messing with a kid whose evil stare put the entirety of LOVEMUFFIN to shame. “You win! Just let a guy earn his community service hours in peace, kid!”

Satisfied, the girl shoved her preferred book into his face, then claimed a bean bag chair for herself. “Yay, Cinderella!” she exclaimed, as if she hadn’t just threatened him five seconds ago.

The other kids muttered among themselves, giving Suzy a wide berth as they settled on the far edge of the mat.

“Rule number one of the Mother Goose Corner,” Ballpit Kid murmured to Norm. “Little Suzy Johnson always gets her way.”

“WOW, DAD GOT FOILED AND THIS ISN’T EVEN PART OF AN EVIL SCHEME,” Norm replied.

“Yeah, yeah, let’s laugh at the soon-to-be dictator’s expense. Cause that’s gonna bode well for you in the future,” Heinz snapped as he sat down in the storyteller’s chair. “You like Cinderella, huh?”

In Heinz’s opinion, the book’s cover painted a really misleading picture of the protagonist. It contained the image of a smiling girl in a silvery ballgown, surrounded by smiling woodland critters with the Fairy Godmother and Prince Charming standing in the background.

The Drusselsteinian Cinderella was a lot bleaker, considering that the Fairy Godmother didn’t exist and Cinderella spent most of her time sobbing her eyes out over her mother’s grave. It wasn’t common knowledge that the Brothers Grimm version was adapted from the Drusselsteinian story, though they changed the ending so that the evil stepsisters were punished. The original ending stated that the evil stepsisters poisoned Cinderella at the banquet after her wedding to the prince.

In hindsight, Drusselstein fairy tales were usually designed to crush children’s dreams and traumatize them for life.

But these kids didn’t need to know that.

“She always picks Cinderella,” another girl mumbled. “We all know how it goes.”

By the time Heinz had finished the obligatory once upon a time introduction, most of the kids’ eyes glazed over. Only Norm and Suzy were paying attention.

Well, it was hard to tell if Norm was paying attention since he didn’t have facial expressions.

“Cinderella washed the dishes, fed the animals, tended the garden, swept the floor, dusted the furniture, and cooked for her stepmother and stepsisters every day and…well, you get the picture,” Heinz yawned and flipped the page, deciding to skip over the full list of chores since he was pretty sure the kids had a good understanding of Cinderella’s daily chores. “Honestly, her family isn’t even the good type of evil. They’re just jerks.”

While Heinz didn’t know of any versions of Cinderella where she was forced to pull lawn gnome duty on cold nights with only a balloon to keep her company, he didn’t think it was out of character for the stepmom.

“HER EVIL STEPSISTERS NAMED HER CINDERELLA BECAUSE SHE WAS FORCED TO SLEEP IN A FIREPLACE AMONG THE CINDERS,” Norm supplied.

“No, she doesn’t. She sleeps in a tower,” Ballpit Kid said.

“That’s too mean!” a girl wailed. “How come we call her Cinderella if it’s insulting?”

“COULD WE GET BACK TO THE STORY ALREADY?” Suzy roared, shutting up the other kids. She flopped against her beanbag chair. “Keep going, please!”  

But Heinz was already getting an idea. He put the book down and brought out the Parked Car Away-inator he kept in his lab coat. Since he’d finished this device yesterday, he hadn’t encountered a parking problem where it was needed yet. But with a few minor alterations, he could easily tweak it into something that would be more useful for this situation.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think you might be onto something, Norm,” Heinz said as he switched the positions of a blue and orange wire.

“I DON’T KNOW WHAT I SAID, BUT I’M GLAD I HELPED. IF I HAD A CARDIOVASCULAR AND INTEGUMENTARY SYSTEM, I WOULD BE BLUSHING.”

“We just need a more interesting medium. Cause happily ever afters get cliché once you’ve heard them a million times before. Granted, it usually ends up a happy ending for Cinderella, except in Drusselstein, but that place doesn’t lend itself well to happy endings anyway. Ah, there we go. Voila!” Heinz triumphantly held up his modified inator. “Behold! The Fairy Tale-inator!”

The Fairy Tale-inator was slightly slimmer than the Parked Car Away-inator and much easier to maneuver.

“This’ll give us a more engaging and realistic experience and make it way more interesting for all parties involved!” Heinz declared. “Besides, I forgot to bring a water bottle. I don’t want my throat to get dry while reading. I gotta keep it in good condition for my evil monologues.”

He blasted the book with his inator. A glowing blue residue clung to the cover as the beam died away. Heinz set the Fairy Tale-inator on his chair and picked up the book.

“Is that safe?” Ballpit Kid asked. “Television taught me that unnatural glows around objects aren’t a good sign.”

“Don’t worry. It shouldn’t be radioactive. You guys ready for an immersive experience?” Heinz grinned as he flipped to the first page. But instead of the moving illustrations he expected, he came face to face with a swirling blue portal. “You know, I don’t remember any portals in Cinderella. Kind of anachronistic for whatever ambiguous time period this story’s supposed to be in.”

A wind picked up from somewhere, and Heinz tucked his arms closer to his body as he shivered from the sudden chill.

“Hey, did it just get drafty in here or something? Does anyone know where the air conditioning unit is?” Heinz asked.

The wind grew stronger, sucking Heinz’s right arm into the portal like a vacuum. Heinz grabbed the edge of the book with his free hand and tried to yank it off, but only succeeded in getting his other arm stuck in the portal as well.

“Yeah, this looks and feels just about the same amount of awkward,” Heinz muttered, trying not to gasp as some unseen force tugged on his wrists insistently. “Norm, can you call Perry the Platypus for me and let him know I might be running late for the scheme tonight? Oh, and tell him there’s leftover shrimp pasta in the fridge if he’s feeling hungry. Thwarting’s not fun on an empty stomach.”

“SHOULD I SEND A DISTRESS ALERT TOO?”

Heinz scowled. “What do you mean distressed? I’m not distressed! Do I look like a damsel to you?”

Figures that the portal decided to suck Heinz’s legs and torso as well. Heinz had to crane his neck all the way back to see Norm.

His neck was gonna be really sore tomorrow.  

“Alright, so I’m a little distressed,” Heinz admitted. “Looks like storytime’s over now. Man, they better let this count as part of my community service.”

Then the world spun around him in a dizzying swirl of blue and green. Heinz screamed as the wind battered him around like a rag doll, pushing him in every direction imaginable. His surroundings blurred together, becoming an indistinguishable mess of colors with no shape or form

He was pushed, pulled, tugged, yanked, and all the other synonyms that Heinz couldn’t think of because his brain wasn’t registering things properly. The sensations couldn’t have lasted more than a minute, but it felt like an eternity.

To add insult to injury, the universe decided to plop him face-first into the leftover dust and ashes of a poorly maintained fireplace.

[worryinglyinnocent]

Fic: Out of Time (5/?)

Summary:  Belle is the one to be sucked into Zelena’s time portal with Emma, and they find themselves in a very different time to the one they had anticipated, arriving to see the confrontation between Hook and a pre-Dark One Rumpelstiltskin. They manage to return to the future, but with some unintentional stowaways. With Rumpelstiltskin removed from his own timeline, the universe throws a fit, and it’s a race against time to set things straight.

Rated: T for now, but it may go up in later chapters.

====

[One] [Two] [Three] [Four] [AO3]

====

Out of Time

Five

Belle heaved a long sigh, looking across at Rumpelstiltskin and Bae as the grey light of morning began to creep into the cottage. She did not have much time left in quiet contemplation; sheep-owners like Rumpel would be up at dawn to see to their livestock. Still, she wanted to take stock of this moment whilst she had it. To see Rumpel so calm and peaceful, as if there was nothing in his world out of place, well, it wasn’t something that she had been able to see back in the future, not for a long time at least.

It broke her heart to know of the future in store for both of them, especially given their current straitened circumstances, with the threat of ogres still looming on the horizon. Everything looked bleak for them now, and Belle knew that it would only continue to get bleaker. She had come from the future, but she couldn’t offer them any kind of hope or optimism, knowing everything as she did. She had been glad of Emma’s quick-thinking, even though she knew that her friend was still mourning Neal’s death and was now confronted with his younger self.

She hadn’t been able to sleep in spite of the soft sheepskin rugs that Rumpel had given her and Emma as makeshift beds for the night. She had kept expecting to be swept back up in the portal at any moment, and the longer it took for anything magical to happen, the more agitated she became.

Belle sighed. She couldn’t stay here. Their need to get back to their own timeline aside, she couldn’t stay here with Rumpel any longer. The more they talked, the more she got to know this version of the man she loved, and the more she found that he was not as different to her Rumpel in the future as perhaps the future version would like to believe. Everything that she loved about her Rumpel was still here in this one. Of course it was, they were the same person, and whilst the Dark One may have changed him, it could not have changed him so fundamentally as to make him unrecognisable to the man he was before. She had always said that she had been able to see the good in him, the man behind the beast.

Now she could see that man clearly, and he was awakening feelings in her that she could not quite explain away. She loved her Rumpel, and this Rumpel of the past was her Rumpel, but also was not. As she had said to Neal after her Rumpel had sacrificed himself to Pan, she loved all of him, even the parts that belonged to the darkness. This Rumpel had no parts that belonged to the darkness; such a large part of the experiences that had made him who he was had not happened.

There had been a time in her past, when she had been younger and naiver, when she would have given anything to have this version of Rumpel. When she had first met Regina in the forest on that fateful trip to fetch straw, she had loved Rumpel, certainly, but she had always held him to some kind of unattainable ideal, one that was quite possibly just a few feet away from her now. But the more she had come to know her Rumpel, the more she realised that the darkness was a part of him and that she had fallen in love with him because of it, rather than in spite of it. And now, here she was, completely unable to make sense of her feelings, and wondering if feeling so strongly towards this version of Rumpel was in some way dishonest towards her Rumpel back home in the future.

“Hey. Are you ok? You look like a wet weekend? I mean, obviously, we have quite a lot to be despondent about, but you were happier than this last night.”

Emma had roused and was stretching out her arms, looking over at Belle and by proxy their night’s hosts.

“I just keep thinking about all the hell that they’re going to have to go through and knowing that I can’t warn them about any of it because it’ll mess with the timeline,” Belle muttered. “I can’t imagine what it must be like for you, thinking about Neal.”

Emma sighed and ran a hand through her hair. “I think it’s actually easier for me because I never knew Neal as Bae. I only ever knew him as Neal; I first met him when he was already grown up. Bae’s a kid, and he’s called Bae, and I never knew him like this, so in my mind, they’re two different people. I’ve been able to reconcile the fact that Neal was Rumpelstiltskin’s son, but I’ve never really been able to put him and Bae together into the same person. Whereas for you, it’s harder, because future-Rumpel and past-Rumpel look exactly the same. It must be harder for you to keep the two of them apart.”

“Oh, you have no idea. But all the same, I do find myself missing my version. It’s not that I miss the darkness per se, but it’s had such an influence on the man he became, and the man I ultimately fell in love with.”

Across the cottage, Belle saw Rumpelstiltskin beginning to stir, and she abruptly stopped talking before they could be overheard and inadvertently change the future some more.

“We need to get out of here,” she said simply. “I don’t think it will do us any good to stay here any longer. The less attachment, the better.”

She could feel something else too, something vaguely magical in the air that had not been there last night. Belle had spent enough time in the Dark Castle to be able to pick up on things like that, and they gave her an unmistakeable feeling of unease, the hairs standing up on the back of her neck. She was feeling the same thing now.

“Maybe we ought to go back to the field,” Emma said. “If the portal’s going to open up again, then it will probably open up in the same place.”

It was sound reasoning, and it wasn’t as if they had any other ideas.  

Belle looked across at Rumpel and Bae. “I don’t want to leave without saying goodbye, although I think that something’s changing. I can feel it in the air.”

Emma raised an eyebrow, unconvinced, but then she shrugged her acceptance. “You’ve been around magic a hell of a lot longer than I have.”

Across the cottage, Rumpel was stirring, and he gave them a slightly disbelieving look when he woke fully to find them sitting at the table.

“I’d almost convinced myself that you were a dream,” he muttered.

“Sorry. We’re still here.”

“No, don’t be sorry. I’m glad it wasn’t a dream.”

Belle smiled. “Well, at any rate, we’re going to get out of your hair soon. I think that the portal is going to take us back any time now, and we want to go back to the fields where it first dropped us off.”

“You really don’t want it opening up in here,” Emma added. “The roof would not survive.”

Rumpel glanced up at the thatch and gave a mute nod of agreement. He seemed saddened to see them leaving, and Belle felt a pang of sympathy for him. They had been rare ones to offer him kindness in his harsh life, and now they were leaving almost as soon as they had arrived.

A look from Emma had her steeling herself against the feeling. She’d already said that she had to leave before she became too attached, and this made it more obvious than ever.

Rumpel and Bae accompanied them out into the field; Rumpel needed to tend to the sheep anyway and Belle wanted to spend every last moment with him that she could before she was transported back to her present time. She missed her Rumpel, but that didn’t mean that she wasn’t going to miss this one as well when she left him. There was comfort in the knowledge that this man was still inside Rumpel somewhere, and he had not completely forgotten the life that he’d had before the Dark One.

Something was definitely going to happen, and soon. There was a buzzing in Belle’s ears that could only have been magical, and it was getting closer. She shook her head, trying to get rid of the annoying sound, but it was set to stay. As they reached the field that they’d landed in so unceremoniously the day before, she turned to Rumpel and Bae.

“Thank you so much for everything that you’ve done for us whilst we’ve been trapped here,” she said. “I know that I’ll never forget your kindness and hospitality.” If she didn’t know better she’d say that Rumpel was blushing under the compliment.

“Bae and I won’t forget you, either,” he said.

In a way, Belle wished that they would, then at least she would be assured that nothing would have changed. She hadn’t intended to, but she couldn’t help going over and throwing her arms around Rumpel, kissing his cheek.

“Until we meet again,” she said.

“Whenever in the future that might be,” Rumpel agreed. It felt good to be leaving him on a positive note. Although Belle knew that there was so much heartache yet to come for him, she knew that love and happiness would be within his reach in time. She ruffled Bae’s hair in farewell and moved away to stand with Emma in the middle of the field.

The ringing in Belle’s ears was getting louder and louder. If there was ever an opportune time for a portal to appear out of nowhere and sweep her up, it was now, or else she wouldn’t be able to hear herself think. Finally, the sound was strong enough that it was definitely not coming from inside her own head, and a glance across at Emma showed that she could hear it too. She reached across and grabbed Emma’s hand. They’d come through the first portal together and they were going to go back together; she’d never be able to live with herself if she accidentally left Emma in the past.

A little further away, Rumpel and Bae were gazing up at the sky with mute horror, Bae hiding behind his father’s legs. Belle followed their sight line, and even she couldn’t help a gasp as the portal exploded into life above them, the same pillar of flame-like magic that it had been before in the barn. She had just enough time to see Rumpel push Bae behind him, acting as a shield against the terrible unknown, before the portal engulfed her and Emma.

Belle closed her eyes and prayed that whatever happened now, they’d end up back where they started.

X

Going through the portal wasn’t any pleasanter the second time it happened, and this time there were even further worries going through Belle’s mind. The first time, she’d been scared of the unknown that awaited her at the other end of the portal, but she’d accepted that there wasn’t a lot she could do about it and just hoped for the best.

This time there still wasn’t a lot she could do about the outcome, but she was even more worried of what she might find. If the future that she was returning to was not the same as the one she had left in the first place, then she knew that it was the result of whatever it she had done in the past, and she would not know whether the changes were for good or ill. Moreover, if she and Emma arrived in the apocalypse, they would have no way of returning to the past to put right everything that they’d changed.

Belle closed her eyes, trying not to think about it and hoping against hope that everything was going to be all right. Surely they hadn’t told Rumpel and Bae anything that would hopelessly alter history. They’d left them rather hopeful, rather than giving them anything bleak to think about and try to avoid.

The roar of the magic in her ears died away, and she landed on the ground with a horrible thud, her teeth jarring in her head.

“I’m never going to get used to that,” she muttered as she got to her feet and began to brush herself down.

“Well, with any luck, that was the last time you’ll ever accidentally time travel and you won’t have to get…”

Emma’s voice tailed off and Belle glanced over to her, following her sight line. She was looking up at the ceiling of the barn. Or, what had been the barn ceiling. There was nothing there now. There wasn’t even a barn. Whilst the portal blast would have had some destructive effect and Belle would not have expected to see very much ceiling, she would have expected to see something. Not just an open expanse of grass.

“Did we come back to the correct time?” Emma asked. Belle felt her heart leap to her mouth. She was sure that they had come back to the correct year and the correct realm, but what they had changed in the past might be coming back to haunt them in ways they could never have predicted.

“Erm…”

The small voice from behind her made Belle spin on her heel, her blood freezing in her veins.

They’d changed the past all right.

They’d brought Rumpel and Bae back to the present with them.

[mtvswatches]

Wynnona Earp 1x01 Purgatory

Spoilers disclaimer (please read before sending messages or writing comments.)

Stray thoughts

1) I thought I should preface this by saying that I have literally no idea what this show is about. I had some idea about the basic premise of Jane the Virgin, but Wynnona Earp? Nothing, nada. I do know that there are some F/F ships, but that’s about it. I have no idea what the show is about. Is it sci-fi? Mystery? Drama? Is it set in the past, the present or the future? Is Wynnona Earp a character or a place, or something else? I truly don’t know! But a lot of you suggested I should watch this show, so here I am, ready to find out!

2) So I’m guessing this is Wynonna…

And she has some kind of history in this town, obviously.

I wonder whose funeral she’s attending…

3) This was some intense flashback…

A lot of information but nothing is spelled out. There were at least three sisters – I’m guessing – and their dad. One of the sisters mentions their mom, but I’m guessing she was already dead. And who are the bad guys and why are they attacking this family?

4) If someone from the area tells you not to go outside, and you even call her “smart” because of it, then why on earth do you not listen?! I’m sure she could’ve held it for two more minutes.

5) Yes, lady, this is what you get for saying “hello” to the roaring beast and taking a stroll in this creepy ass forest instead of running back to the bus.

6) Okay, I’m into this. (sorry, lady, but you kind of had it coming.)

7) Yes, super into this, but I have so many questions! Was the creepy birthday ringtone kind of like a trigger? Because she started kicking some serious ass the minute she heard it. And what about the creature? Why did it look like a man at times and like a beast at others?

8) So is this like a western supernatural show? Well, I wasn’t expecting that.

9) Why doesn’t she want anyone knowing who she is? Is she some sort of fugitive or is it because of her history in the town? And is the town literally a purgatory? I mean, those creatures in the forest seemed like they belonged in hell, not in purgatory. I have so many questions, sorry!

10) Who are Gus and Curtis to Wynnona? They don’t seem to be family, for some reason. And it seems Wynonna suspects he didn’t die of a stroke.

11) I was about to go on a rant about this…

SHERIFF: Runaway? Whore? Who knows what kind of trouble this girl got herself into?

DEPUTY DOLLS: Spoken like a man who finds a lot of dead girls. And you've had three of 'em in the past six months.

…but thankfully someone shut him up.

12) There’s an actual saloon in this town, it seems time stood still in Purgatory. Makes sense.

13) Wynonna delivers a line to give us some background information about her…

Two stints in juvie, a summer riding with the Banditos, and I'm still wanted for questioning in the Bleaker case.

…and I have more questions than answers. Why was she in juvie? Who are the Banditos? (which, btw, I’m guessing is “Bandidos” – Spanish for “bandits” – misspelled) And what is the Bleaker case?

14) Okay, so Curtis was Wynonna’s uncle. Got it.

15) So, she’s been called insane, cursed, and a freak. I wonder what special qualities she has that make these small-town dumbasses describe her like that.

16) OMG, I love this girl already!

But why is Wynonna’s sister dating this douchebag?

17) This is the dude that Wynonna fought in the forest, right?

18) WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!

19) So there is a curse, and there is a magic gun that Wynonna’s ancestor used against these creatures or whatever.

20) Damn, this girl really has a chip on her shoulder!

21) So is Dolls a Mulder? 

22) What happens to the Earps when they turn 27? Why is she spooked? I’m sorry, this must be a crappy recap because all I keep doing is asking questions! Oh, oh, is that when the powers kick in? Is that why she started kicking ass the second she turned 27?

23) So the house has been uninhabited since the night of the fire. And we finally get a little more backstory:

They say Wyatt took down 77 outlaws with this gun.

And all those outlaws are resurrecting as revenants coming for us.

They won't rest until they gain freedom from their earthly prison.

You'll stop them, Daddy!

You'll get 'em.

Willa is the eldest, the next Earp heir destined to inherit Wyatt's abilities. Because the only thing that can put these demons down again is you.

I really couldn’t tell who each of the girls is supposed to be, but apparently, there was an older sister, Willa, who was supposed to be the next “chosen one” to defeat the demons but she was taken and, I’m guessing, killed.. It seems it’s Wynonna’s turn, now.

24) So Wynonna has been diagnosed with a mental health disease because of her speaking out about the demons. Reminds me of Buffy.

25) So the Deputy is trying to recruit Wynonna. And Willa is most definitely dead.

26) Wait, did Wynonna shoot her own father?

27) Who the fuck was crawling out of the well?

28) I’m really liking the tension between the sisters because I understand where each of them is coming from. Wynonna carries a lot of guilt because of how she accidentally shot her dad, and Waverly wants revenge and to break the curse, probably so that both her and Wynonna can be safe and free.

29) So this is the guy that was crawling out of the well…

He’s definitely hiding something.

30) “Sometimes life chooses for us.” I’m guessing this will have relevance when it comes to Wynonna’s own destiny.

31) Is there going to be a fucking duel?

They took Waverly. You'll fix this. He said, "Tomorrow high noon.”

32) Yep, Dolls is a Mulder. He knows about the fucking demons.

33) Is Waverly going to be the “put Willow in danger” girl? I hope not. I mean, it works, but I hope that as a character she’s not reduced to the damsel in distress.

34) Okay, more backstory, thank you…

You see, when the Earp heir turns 27, those of us killed by the last one, well, we resurrect. A little more demonic than the time before, but, one way or the other, we all end up in Purgatory.

35) Okay, but he said they killed Curtis to lure her back, but she turned 27 when she was already back in town, so that means they couldn’t have come back and killed Curtis before then? Plot hole? Or am I missing something?

36) “Nobody shoots my family but me.”

37) I guess he’s going to hell now.

38) So Dolls did help after all. 

39) Oh, this was some steamy shit…

40) So, the guy that crawled out of the well and met Wynonna at the bar is a revenant, but he’s helping her out. Could he be an Earp that was killed by another Earp? Listen, I don’t know who he is but he’s hot af.

41) Okay, I’m really interested to see where this show goes. We have a female hero who can kick ass, there’s this “curse” and the demons who walk on earth and are stuck on Purgatory – literally, there’s this cool sister/sister dynamic, and the government is involved in actively fighting the demons. And the modern-day western setting, let’s not forget that. I’ve never been a fan of Westerns, that’s a very American thing and well, I’m not American, but I think I may actually enjoy this.

I do have a lot of questions. There’s been a lot of action and very little exposition, which sometimes is a necessary evil. But it seems the writers have taken the “show, don’t tell” route, which I appreciate. So I guess we’ll get more details as the season progresses. Hopefully.

42) Hope you enjoyed my recap, and, as usual, if you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi.Thanks!

[emperorren]

My first impressions after seeing TLJ

major tlj spoilers after the cut

So do you know that John quote about how the movie addresses fandom theories or something? 

I feel like it’s really spot on. It’s like the movie deliberately flirts with most of the major question marks that TFA left us---who are Rey’s parents? What happened to Luke? Did Snoke manipulate Ben? What’s the deal with Reylo? Who is Snoke, really? Will Kylo be redeemed?

and then kind of spits on them, either giving a bland/disappointing answer, or a non-answer at all, as if saying: THESE AREN’T THE QUESTIONS YOU SHOULD BE ASKING.

It’s VERY anticlimatic, to be honest. but anticlimatic in a clever, deliberate way. I can’t say if I really liked it---I think I need at least a second viewing---but I can see what Rian did here.

So let’s start with the obvious, and for a lot of reasons the most bewilderingly anticlimatic: Snoke. Who the fuck is Snoke?

NO ONE. it doesn’t matter. Maybe he’s an ancient being. maybe he’s just Leia’s former classmate in second grade that had a crush on her and was rejected. We don’t know. He's killed**, and it’s over before we get any real answer, JUST LIKE THAT. He’s always been a smokescreen, which in hindsight was what TFA was trying to convey by having him appear only as a giant hologram. He had a specific function in this story---providing a Palpatine stand-in that the audience could immediately latch on for reassurance, but actually ushering Kylo from a conflicted teenage-like apprenticeship into True Villainy (?)---he’s fulfilled it now, so he can go. Bye Snoke.

Next: Luke. What has Luke been doing? Milking sea brontosaurs and reading ancient books and angsting over Ben’s fall and shockingly enough NOT fathering any magical daughters, AS YOU SHOULD ALREADY KNOW IF YOU WATCHED TFA.

Next, who are Rey’s parents. Aw man. that feels like a punch in the guts, tbh. Because for a while the movie actually toys with your expectations about that and there’s a scene (one of my favs from a purely visual/conceptual/symbolic perspective) in which rey goes looking for answers and sees some ominous looking shadows that you interpret as being her “people”. But those shadows reveal to be just another image of Rey herself. And then comes Kylo who straight up says that her parents were nobodies, just scavenger scum who sold her for a meal, and you’re like. Okay. Why did I spend 2 years obsessing over this?***

Next, what’s the deal with Reylo. This one is strictly connected to the question about Kylo’s redemption, and to me is simultaneously this film’s crux AND real stroke of genius. Because the first half of the movie feels like it’s moving on an enjoyable but predictable railroad of romantic/byronic hero tropes. The force bond is REAL! Kylo and Rey have UST! Kylo looks vulnerable and conflicted! Rey learns about Ben’s backstory and vows to redeem him! Their love for each other will save Kylo from falling completely to the dark side!!!!

And then the movie suddenly... rotates on itself. The story makes a literal U turn the moment you realize that this is not going to go the way you think and that---no, Kylo’s won’t be redeemed (this way).

And maybe love (well, at this stage it’s mutual attraction and curiosity and longing for somewhere, someone, to belong) and good intentions aren’t enough to steer someone from his perceived path (not yet).

It’s not that Snoke wasn’t a malevolent figure manipulating Ben; he was. But Kylo’s agency is MUCH MORE IMPORTANT to his actions than what the average Kylo fan was willing to admit, and the movie is a brutal reminder of that. Kylo isn’t just lost and lonely and traumatized. He wants power. He sees his greatness as a mission. He’s focused, deliberate, and willing to sacrifice a LOT of things to get what he wants. Including his father (he didn’t kill han solo because he hated him---he didn’t hate him at all, as he tells Rey at one point. He killed him because he was a weakness, something that prevented him from fulfilling his true potential). Including Snoke, his mentor, his master, his leader. (perhaps not Rey, though. Not really, if his last scene indicates anything.)

I think we all saw the cracks in Kylo’s armor and his obvious conflict and took it as a guarantee that he’d start the movie more evil and unhinged than ever and then make a shift halfway through the movie towards redemption; TLJ spit in the face of this rather predictable headcanon by having Kylo go a bit darker, then teasing us with a possible redemption-by-force-bond, and then shockingly upgrading him to Ultimate Big Bad instead of Conflicted Anti Hero.

(which is not to say that Kylo’s layers are suddenly gone or that he’s Really Evil---he’s no more evil than he was in TFA, no more evil than he was when he laced his fingers with Rey’s in the hut. He’s just refusing to be put in that nice little box that we, me included, wanted him to fill at the end of this movie.)

(he also kills Snoke instead of Rey, but probably not to save Rey. Not exactly? I mean, also that, I’m sure. But this man’s motives are complex. It was part of his plan all along. He manipulated Snoke into thinking he was weak and foolish, “a boy in a mask” so that he could blindside him. It’s unclear how much of his touchy-feely force bonding moments with Rey was ALSO a manipulation, and how much they were something genuinely unexpected that coincidentally helped him fulfill his plan. When he asks Rey “why does the force keep connecting us”, it’s unclear if it’s a honest question on his part. I’d like to hear your opinions on this.)

This also doesn’t mean that it was all a bait and switch---at least, I hope it’s not. The force bond is real and no matter how and why it was created it’s something that both of them will have to deal with. I personally do believe it’s the Force who brought these two together and made their lives inextricably connected. There must be a reason. Their feelings for each other are also real, now made more violent by each other’s mutual (perceived?) betrayal. This is going to hurt, but at least we have now exited the “they don’t even know each other’s name!” limbo for good. They know that... and many other things about each other now. Probably more than they’re comfortable with.

I also don’t think this movie answered the question of Kylo’s redemption with a resounding no, on the contrary it just made it clear that everything can happen. Kylo’s future looks bleaker than ever now, true, because it seems like he was offered AGAIN an olive branch, a chance of redemption, and instead he doubled down on evil. Sure as fuck those who hated him will hate him even harder, and I guess a lot of neutral fans (perhaps also those Kylo fans who were flat out counting on him being revealed as an innocent victim of Snoke’s manipulation) will turn on him too.

I feel like I did in the aftermath of the Red Wedding: shocked, traumatized, but also insanely curious to see how the narrative rises again after such a low point.

... I can’t believe I wrote this already? I was going to talk about what I liked and what I did not (the movie is hardly flawless tbh), and the squee-worthy fanficcy scenes, and shirtless!Kylo and omg omg omg Luke and Leia (okay that deserves another post) and instead I went full boring analysis lmao. Sorry.

** not sure if Snoke is actually dead. Part of me really doesn’t want him to, because I like eldritch evil in this story and I wanted Snoke to be eldritch evil, a sort of Night’s King that humanity, I mean the galaxy, including the bad guys, unites to rally against. Kylo is many things, but last time I checked he’s still human, therefore still worthy of our empathy. The other part understands that this is how a Normal Narrative would function, and that sounded reasonable enough until a week ago, but now? lmao JJ Abrams good luck untangling this mess.

*** honestly I’m not sure Rey’s parents are just that, either. Maybe the answer we get in this movie is another red herring. I think we can definitely rule out Re/ywalker or Re/ysolo though, because awkward hand touching and asking your nemesis to put something, anything on that sexy naked chest while you’re casually peering into his room via force bond is not something that Cousins Would Do, thank you very much.

[eddycurrents]

For the week of 9 April 2018

Quick Bits:

Animosity: Evolution #5 gets to the heart of the criminal enterprise undermining Wintermute’s authority, operating the black market, and what they’ve been trying to accomplish. This arc has definitely been interesting so far, showing that the animal organizations aren’t really all too different from their human counterparts.

| Published by AfterShock

Avengers #688 raises the stakes higher as we speed towards the conclusion of “No Surrender”. While the Challenger flips the table on the game, this issue takes its perspective from Quicksilver, setting up the next stage for his forthcoming Quicksilver: No Surrender limited series.

| Published by Marvel

Barbarella #5 tosses in some more weird science as Barbarella and Vix go prospecting for RUST.

| Published by Dynamite

Bloodshot Salvation #8 begins to marry up the timelines, such that the present is becoming the “soon” timeline that began in the first issue, as Bloodshot travels through the Deadside and we find out how he got tossed into the future. It’s interesting to see how Jeff Lemire’s non-linear threads have been playing out through the story.

| Published by Valiant

Brothers Dracul #1 reunites the team of Cullen Bunn and Mirko Colak, having recently completed the Unholy Grail series, here for an interesting take on the Vlad Tepes story and the Dracula myth. Bunn takes a different approach to the myth, rooting it in much of the recorded history of Vald, his family, and Wallachia under Ottoman rule and it results in a much more grounded story. At least for the first issue. The art from Colak, with colours by Maria Santaolalla, is also great.

| Published by AfterShock

Captain America #700 is Chris Samnee’s last issue on the series, and the last of his work at Marvel for the time being, and he sure does go out with a bang. Samnee and Mark Waid stitch up a conclusion to the Cap in the future arc, although there are some interesting ramifications of the story to unpack, including presenting an idea of the futility of hope. That’s probably bleaker than the creative team necessarily intended it to be read as.

| Published by Marvel

Champions #19 begins the next chapter in the team’s chronicles, with Jim Zub and Sean Izaakse taking over as the new creative team. The art from Izaakse and colourist Marcio Menyz is wonderful throughout, including some great character designs. It’s also interesting to see how Zub has the team approaching new recruits like Ironheart as they try to figure out how the new pieces fit.

| Published by Marvel

Cold War #3 dives into the past of two survivors this time, giving us a look into the history and personalities of LQ and Johnny. Even as the latter fights for relevance and control in the present, seemingly unable to accept the leadership of Vinh or her attempts to protect everyone remaining. Then Christopher Sebela drops another bomb on us as to the state of this future.

| Published by AfterShock

Crude #1 is an interesting beginning, setting up a bit of a mystery involving the death of the son of a former Russian agent, as he gets dragged back into a seedy, harsh existence to hunt down his son’s murderers. Steve Orlando begins this first issue mostly as set-up, flashing back through both Piotr and, his son, Kiril’s lives before getting us to the main plot and arrival at the setting, and source for the title.

| Published by Image / Skybound

The Dead Hand #1 is an impressive debut, capturing perfectly the intrigue and action of a Cold War thriller, matched with the bleakness of more modern interpretations of Russia and a twist that you’ll never see coming. Kyle Higgins’ Image outings tend to be wonderful reads, like COWL and Hadrian’s Wall, and this series seems no different so far. It’s also great to see Stephen Mooney providing the line art here, his style is perfectly suited to spy and thriller stories, especially as coloured here by Jordie Bellaire.

| Published by Image

Deadly Class #33 continues to tear everything down, blow everything up, or beat it into a bloody pulp. Nothing seems to be safe. Rick Remender and Wes Craig seem intent on putting everyone through the wringer, and Craig (with colours from Jordan Boyd) is reminding everyone why he’s one of the best artists working in comics today.

| Published by Image / Giant Generator

Doctor Strange #388 is another integral part of the Damnation event, diving into Strange’s possession and what’s going on with the other fallen heroes current plaguing Vegas at Mephisto’s behest. The story from Donny Cates is good, weird, and has Niko Henrichon at the very top of his game.

| Published by Marvel

Domino #1 is damn great. In some ways, it feels like old home week, as Gail Simone brings back some of the characters and stylistic quirks from her time writing Deadpool and Agent X, complete with the humour, action, and absurdity, but at the same time, this feels fresh. It’s not as over the top as the other two outings and it makes for what feels to me like a better story. It also makes the humour pop a bit more as it feels natural. Also, the art from David Baldeón and Jesus Aburtov is gorgeous. Baldeón surprised me with how great his art has become on Spirits of Vengeance and here he’s bringing it to an even higher level. This first issue is fun and comes very recommended.

| Published by Marvel

Dry County #2 sets up the mystery. After being embroiled in Janet’s life as a kind of sad sack saviour in the first issue, Lou gets his hopes dashed by her kidnapping this issue. If it follows traditional Miami Noir themes, I have my suspicions about it, but here Rich Tommaso plays it straight and uses it to start Lou down the path to find out what happened to her.

| Published by Image

Exiles #1 begins a gathering the team arc, as Blink is drafted back into the multiverse-saving business by the reappearance of the Tallus and the Unseen’s premonitions of the white fire of nothingness caused by the Time Eater. Saladin Ahmed does a great job of playing with Exiles history and Marvel ephemera in constructing this first issue, but the real star is the artwork. Javier Rodríguez is one of Marvel’s underrated talents who really should be heralded as a superstar. Here, he, Álvaro López, and Jordie Bellaire make this issue one of the most visually interesting on the stands, with great page layouts, interesting panel transitions, phenomenal use of page for storytelling effect, and unique character designs. This is a great start and I’m dying to see more.  

| Published by Marvel

Gideon Falls #2 continues a slow burn through the story, focusing on both Norton and Father Fred’s experiences with the black barn, and the world beyond them not believing their respective stories. It’s a common horror and mystery thread, but it’s still interesting how Jeff Lemire is framing the narrative and building the characters through the dialogue. Also, the art from Andrea Sorrentino and Dave Stewart continues to be amazing. 

| Published by Image

Ninja-K #6 plays with a number of the messes that have yet to be cleaned up across the Valiant universe. It’s interesting to see Christos Gage play with the toys, with visceral art from Juan José Ryp and Jordie Bellaire.

| Published by Valiant

No. 1 With a Bullet #6 is a brilliant end to what has been an excellent series. Jacob Semahn, Jorge Coello, and Jen Hickman have a story here that is relevant in today’s society obsessed with social media, and delves deep into what can happen when that obsession turns deadly and debilitating. There’s one last twist this issue and the art, especially as it simulates the current state of Nash’s eyesight, is amazing. I highly recommend this series.

| Published by Image

Oblivion Song #2 fleshes out a bit more what happened from Earth’s perspective on the day that parts of Philadelphia fell into Oblivion. It’s interesting to see it unfold, especially in relation to the two recent survivors who came back. It’s slow going, and there are oblique character moments, but it’s enthralling.

| Published by Image

The October Faction: Supernatural Dreams #2 sees the summoned demon wandering around, causing havoc, raising hell. Oh, and Geoff and Vivian get their butts handed to them.

| Published by IDW

Prism Stalker #2, like the first issue, is very, very strange. On the one hand, it’s presented and illustrated by Sloane Leong as this surrealist weird comic that almost defies classification. Kind of like some of the silent indie comics out there that are more experienced than “read”. On the other hand, the story Leong presents is fairly mundane, one of coming of age in what appears to be an oppressive alien society. I’m not really sure what to make of it still, but it has my attention.

| Published by Image

ROM & The Micronauts #4 gets the full band back together in our world as the final battle against Baron Karza and the Dire Wraiths looms on the horizon. Christos Gage waxes philosophical on physical and emotional change, and how love will find a way in strange cases, but what’s really pushing us towards the final battle is the promise of raising the Lovecraftian monstrosity at the heart of the Earth.

| Published by IDW

Sleepless #5 works further on the intrigue going on, revealing that some of the plots may not have been put into motion by who we may have be led to believe previously.

| Published by Image

Sword of Ages #3 has the crap hit the fan. Some of the political machinations come to a head and it’s all pretty glorious. Gabriel Rodríguez is telling an incredible story here, adapting Arthurian legend in a very unique way.

| Published by IDW

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles #81 is a densely packed narrative, picking up on the threads from the recently concluded Triceratons arc, the running undercurrent of Splinter’s ideas for the Foot Clan, while also spilling out the return of the Rat King after TMNT Universe #19. There’s a lot going on, but I’d argue that Kevin Eastman, Bobby Curnow, and Tom Waltz make it accessible and interesting. Aiding in that effort is phenomenal art from Dave Wachter and Ronda Pattison.

| Published by IDW

Thanos #18 concludes “Thanos Wins” and with it this chapter of the Mad Titan’s adventures (apart from a forthcoming annual in a couple of weeks). This issue is big and epic and has a very interesting ending. Donny Cates, Geoff Shaw, and Antonio Fabela have outdone themselves.

| Published by Marvel

Vs. #3 gets a look at the ruling class in this world, trying to figure out why Flynn’s ratings remain high despite him continuing to suffer losses. It’s a little dry, but it does set up some further conflict between Flynn and Devi, and continues to draw some beautiful art from Esad Ribić.

| Published by Image

X-Men Blue #25 gives us a main story with Magneto’s confrontation of Miss Sinister and her allies, while Polaris and the other remaining X-Men lick their wounds in Madripoor. There’s also a back-up that serves as a bridge between the “Poison X” and Venomized stories for the original five and Venom, with some really nice art by Mike Perkins and Andy Troy.

| Published by Marvel

X-Men Red #3 gives some more oblique hints at what’s really going on, as anti-mutant hysteria begins reaching critical mass and attacks, protests, and riots begin to spill over. Tom Taylor is aptly using parallels to current events across America and the world here and it makes it a bit scarier.

| Published by Marvel

Other Highlights: Algeria is Beautiful Like America, The Archies #6, Astonisher #6, The Beauty #21, Ben Reilly: The Scarlet Spider #17, The Despicable Deadpool #298, DuckTales #8, Eternal Empire #8, Falcon #7, Ghost Money #9, James Bond: Casino Royale, Minky Woodcock: The Girl Who Handcuffed Houdini #4, Old Man Logan #38, Planets of the Apes: Ursus #4, Resident Alien: An Alien in New York #1, Rick Veitch’s The One #3, Rose #10, Shock, Spider-Man vs. Deadpool #31, Star Wars: Darth Vader #14, Star Wars: Thrawn #3, Tomb Raider: Survivor’s Crusade #4, The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl #31, Venomized #2

Recommended Collections: Aliens/Predator/Prometheus: Fire & Stone, Cable - Volume 2: Newer Mutants, Clover Honey, Coyotes - Volume 1, Deadpool vs. Old Man Logan, DuckTales: Mysteries and Mallards, Family Trade - Volume 1, Jean Grey - Volume 2: Final Fight, Lazarus X+66, Peter Parker: The Spectacular Spider-Man - Volume 2: Most Wanted, Rock Candy Mountain - Volume 2, Spider-Man/Deadpool - Volume 5: Arms Race, TMNT/Usagi Yojimbo - Expanded Edition, Transformers: Till All Are One - Volume 3, The Unbelievable Gwenpool - Volume 5: Lost in the Plot, Underwhere

d. emerson eddy tried to make a souffle a few days ago. It fell.

[jessicareviewsgames]

Dreadly Predicklements

The Adventures of Bertram Fiddle  is a series (there are two of them now — A Dreadly Business and A Bleaker Predicklement — so it’s definitely a series) of classic-style point-and-click (or tap and… nothing, just tap) adventure games by Rumpus Animation. Because I haven’t gotten very far into the second one and it’s been over a year since I played the first, I will lazily review both episodes in one post. The most important point is, of course, that both games are hilarious and charming, with a particularly odd and very British sense of humor, set in a most peculiar version of Victorian England.

As I’ve mentioned on twitter, one of my favorite things to do in adventure games is pretty much random mischief. If there is an opportunity for me to ruin someone’s day, even if I don’t know precisely why I want to do whatever thing it appears I can do, I will absolutely do it. This usually works out well for me in the kind of adventure games (this kind) that I prefer to play. I’ve already ruined two characters’ days in A Bleaker Predicklement with no clear idea of what I’m going to do with the things I’ve gained thereby. Oh and I also ruined a squirrel’s day, but I do know why (because I have already done the thing involving said squirrel). I foresee lots of mischief in my future: there certainly was plenty in the first episode.

I should mention, I guess, that it isn’t really necessary to do random things: there is always a clue that I should have done whatever thing it is I did. I just generally seem to happen upon those clues later, after I’ve already committed said mischief. I don’t think this is because I’m a genius at adventure games: probably it’s just because I’m kind of a jerk.

Fortunately both games are of the newer school of adventure games, in which you can’t get yourself into a losing situation. You can fail to make meaningful progress toward winning, certainly, but you won’t break your shovel digging up the wrong grave (as if that even makes sense) (King’s Quest IV was one of the handful of games that came with the CD-ROM/sound card bundle my dad bought for our PC when I was a little kid so it’s pretty much my frame of reference for classic adventure games). You may simply find yourself wandering the strange little world populated with even stranger people looking for mischief to engage in.

I guess it doesn’t hurt to explain that Bertram Fiddle, the character, is a mostly self-proclaimed adventurer, and in these two episodes at least (and keep in mind, I don’t know yet how episode 2 ends), is in pursuit of Geoff the Murderer. Either Geoff or whoever bestowed that nickname upon him is clearly every bit as good at coming up with names for things as I am, incidentally. I guess I’ve just spoiled that at the end of episode 1 you haven’t caught him yet. The game is fully voice-acted by a talented group which includes the daughter of writer/designer Seb Burnett (who pointed out that being on the hook for at lest eighteen years of food, clothing, education, etc. far outweighs the cost of a voice actor, so having children to populate your own cast of characters is not the most fiscally sound option: there may be other reasons to have children though, I guess). It’s highly adorable, hence worth mentioning. Oh and the background music is perfect in every way: adventurery and Victori-ish. 

I was a kickstarter backer of the second game, and even with as little as I’ve played so far, it has met all of my expectations (which were pretty high: I really liked the first game). Basically I think you should buy it, and I promise it’s funny and charming, even though I am trying really really hard not to spoil any of the funny bits. Oh, and you can also play Bertram Fiddle’s Inexplicable Meat Mound, if, you know, that’s your thing. It’s sort of a novella in this series of novels, or however you express that idea when you’re talking about games, not books. And it’s also worth listening to the episode of Unconsolable featuring Seb, because it’s hilarious. And its title is The Old Reach-Around. What could be more compelling than that.

Links!

Bertram Fiddle on Twitter

Bartmann Fritzel on Twitter… for some reason?

Bertram Fiddle: A Dreadly Business for iOS*

Bertram Fiddle: A Dready Business on Steam

Bertram Fiddle’s Inexplicable Meat Mound

Bertram Fiddle: A Bleaker Predicklement for iOS*

Bertram Fiddle: A Bleaker Predicklement on Steam

* Affiliate links, yadda yadda yadda, if you click these then buy the game (or something else within, I dunno, an hour or something, I get a small sack of nickels!

[allanamayer]

My year in fiction.

As with previous years, this post was brought to you by Bibliocommons’ Completed Shelf. Fuck yeah opt-in datasets. Anything listed here you can take as a recommendation; I’ve skipped over everything I didn’t finish or found underwhelming.

Since I don’t think I can possibly finish The Mists of Avalon this year, even though I’ve been slogging through it for weeks, I guess I can do my year-end fiction review. Anything here is a recommendation; I got a lot better at DNFing things that weren’t so great.

I read some of the best books of my life this year. It was a banner year for historical fiction in particular, which, obviously, because I read Wolf Hall and Bringing Up The Bodies, finally. Those are, of course, the best books ever written, ever, but then I followed them up with a relatively unknown but incredibly good Hild by Nicola Griffith, who hasn’t done anything similar since, but it was a wonderful look at how superstition can make intelligence look like magic. I also started the year by finishing Hame, which I think I mentioned at the end of last year, but I’m mentioning it again as a perfect complement to the above books.

I read The Lost Diaries of Susanna Moodie and thought they were quite a good reimagining. An Unquiet Grave was beautifully written and wonderfully researched.

I pretty much ended my kidlit reading this year, except a bunch of stuff for work, where I’m working on age-appropriate curriculum resources. The two in particular that I really enjoyed were The Midwife’s Apprentice and Elijah of Buxton.

In fantasy, I really enjoyed the vampiric-but-better qualities of Touch by Claire North, who I can’t wait to read more from. I also got on the Marie Brennan boat with A Natural History of Dragons, The Tropic of Serpents, and Voyage of the Basilisk.

In the realm of post-apocalypse, I read Dawn by Octavia Butler but tapped out early on in Adulthood Rites; the scenario was far too depressing given our current politics.

Future Home of the Living God by Louise Erdrich didn’t rub me entirely the right way - it went a few places I wouldn’t have, with the premise, but it was an undeniably strong premise either way. It was a kind of contrast with Robopocalypse that actually made both books read better - the latter being a sort of rollicking old-school adventure told in vignettes so you don’t really get sick of any one character’s neuroses.

In somewhat-post-apoc, Company Town by Madeleine Ashby was both rollicking adventure and deeply unsettling Canadian critique.

An Excess Male by Maggie Shen King seemed entirely too plausible.

The Marrow Thieves was perfect in every way.

I got The Book of the Unnamed Midwife and then immediately afterwards The Book of Etta and can’t wait for more. I loved the perspective of a medical professional whose first priority in a germ- or viral-based apocalypse is to grab as much birth control as humanly possible. It was definitely the year of contraception and fertility, including Red Clocks by Leni Zumas.

I read Annihilation, Acceptance, and Authority and thoroughly enjoyed them all. And then because plants attacking are cool, I finally read The Day Of The Triffids! And Man in the High Castle! I would love to see an adaptation that focuses more on the object-fetishism of American antiques.

I read The Gone-Away World, Nick Harkaway’s debut, and while it needs some paring-down it’s certainly a fun read. I read Amatka and I know I enjoyed it, but I can’t for the life of me remember anything in particular except I felt like there was a sequel coming and I should revisit it then.

Perhaps the farthest out-there I read was The Bees by Laline Paull. It was incredibly executed and so powerfully imaginative.

I didn’t read much in the way of general, normal-people fic, but I read Bleaker House by Nell Stevens, a sort of embellished memoir about someone longing for seclusion and isolation, and The Animators, about artists with a very complex partnership. I really enjoyed Bandi’s The Accusation. I was extremely aggravated by Doppler by Erlend Loe, but in a good way. And so wonderfully charmed by A Man Called Ove. And quite melancholy at the end of Out Stealing Horses.

I also don’t read much horror, but The Vegetarian, Audition, and The Bloody Chamber and Other Stories all made the list this year.

By my count, that’s nine dude authors, vs. 23 female authors. And a lower Cancon than usual, but I think I hit some of the greats.

[reviewsbyracine]

I READ A BOOK: “Vox” by Christina Dalcher

A coworker recently asked what my new book was about. I told her it was about a dystopian future where women weren't allowed to speak more than one hundred words a day. She replied, "I'm sure I'd hate that book."

I can't say I blame her. Christina Dalcher's Vox depicts a future that most women don't' want to believe could be possible. However, given our current Kavanaugh-centric political landscape, it's looking more and more likely.

Vox follows Dr. Jean McClellan, a renowned neurolinguist and mother of four. When an ultra-conservative president takes power of the country, women are stripped of their rights. First, their passports are taken away. Their jobs go next. Soon, metal devices attached to their wrists produce electric shocks if women speak more than one hundred words a day. Jean silently watches as the world she once knew disappears; her son Steven gets sucked into the religious propaganda taught in school, while her only daughter Sonia's future grows bleaker with every day she goes without speaking.

Things change when Jean is offered the chance to be a part of a scientific breakthrough when the president's brother suffers a brain injury and she is the only one who could cure him. Jean's loyalties are tested and she discovers what she is capable of given this new responsibility.

Vox was at times infuriating to read. The dystopia depicted was so fresh, not even a year old, which makes the possibility of it coming true even more likely. The chapters were short and tightly paced, making the story move at lightning speed. I liked that I had no idea where the novel was going, with Jean's opportunity to make a difference coming from left field, and it definitely lightened the novel's tone, which for the first quarter was pretty bleak.

Vox was an excellent work of speculative fiction, one that felt both like a fantastical thriller and a warning of where our reality is headed. Fans of The Handmaids Tale will definitely find a lot to enjoy about Vox, as well as a lot to uprise against.

[samuelthorpfutureworks-blog]

1500-word Reflective Design Blog Post

References and Research

For our game we chose a sci-fi spaceship setting so the first step for the project was to find references and inspiration that could give us a strong idea as to what we wanted to create, luckily there is a plethora of sci-fi material available to draw from so we had a lot to choose from, due to the enclosed spaceship space and horror aesthetic to the game, the most obvious choice to start with was the Alien series, both the game and the movies.

This was a great help in establishing the tone and style I was going to use when it came to modelling the environment, in Alien the ships have this grimey yet practical feel to them that lends an element of believability to them, large sections of the ship use dark colours and dim lighting, everything has a rough metallic feel to it yet doesn't seem dilapidated, where most of the ship feels grimey, the living spaces such as the kitchen and dining area and the cryo sleep room instead are often more cleaner and brighter and seems more livable, this was definitely a feeling I wanted to mimic in the various rooms and locations found within our game.

Tacoma was another sci-fi property we looked into, a game with a rather simple yet effective art style, this game was a big source of inspiration in terms of how to approach the models and textures themselves, given the narrow time limit we had for the projects deadline we felt striving for such a simple yet effective art style would be the best way to ensure the desired results for the game.

While we looked at many other sources of inspiration, I feel these two were the most influential on my work.

Models

The assets look best in game with full lighting and metalics and roughness applied however this can make it hard to see all aspects of the model so the images are of the maya versions.

Walls V1

This was the first variant of wall and first model set that I made for the game, the idea being to create a wall set that can be placed together in any order to facilitate the larger environments that we wished to have in our game, having the walls be pushed out was to give that sense of artificial breathing room, that if you were to design a real ship you would try to make it seem less claustrophobic by making it seem like there was more space than there actually is.

Walls V2

With the second wall set I went for a more industrial feel as that was one of the core aspects we wanted to create with the ships aesthetic, it's a lot more hard edged than the first variant and with a lot more of a rustic and worn texture, though I tried to avoid making it seem completely dilapidated.

Walls V3

These walls are used almost exclusively in the more livable area of the ship such as the bed room and locker room, my thinking behind this was that the areas that people inhabit in their personal time tends to be more taken care of and less worn down and dirty, simerly inspired by the living quarters in the Alien series which as mentioned above are brighter, cleaner and more livable.

Walls V4

The fourth set of walls came about when building the higher ceilinged second floor, the other wall types didn't look great when stacked simply looking repetitive and boring when overused in such high quantity so i decided to create a wall that could be flipped and stacked onto itself to alleviate that repetitive look while also providing a wall type that could be repurposed in the lower ceilings of the third floor.

Door

The door is pretty simple and none too complex, i simply tried to replicate that style of door often seen in typical sci-fi, though i feel its shape gives it a more alien feel than the usual angular style more commonly see however.

Tables

The first table i made with simple practicality in mind, four legs and the top but found this didn't fit in all areas of the game so i created a second variant with a more built in base that gives a more sci-fi feel and fit the more industrial areas of the game as well as providing some visual variety.

Desk

For the desk I wanted to make something that at one point may have looked fancy but through prolonged use shows more wear and tear, i gave the desk a more sleek design but with the texture just adding little bits of dirt to it and scratching around the edges to suggest its been used for a while.

Oxygen Purifier

For the purifier I wanted to make a big bulky machine to make it easier to spot, I added the text on the screen so players could identify that this is their goal as hinted at by the terminals.

Generator

Because the generator is located in the most industrial section of the ship I decided to make these the most rustic object, I didn't make them too big as the player is required to navigate through them.

Floor

For the floor panels I decided to add some colour to them because of their location in the crew section of the ship to break up the more bleaker colours found in the rest of the ship.

For the hallway floor i build indents and lines into it and added piping in the middle and added bloody footprints to suggest something sinister.

Counters

The counters are often topped by terminals or interesting objects so I decided to add an emissive bar to catch the players attention and draw them towards the interesting objects, i added the trays on top to provide a bit a variety so it didn't look samey.

Locker Door

I went through a few iterations of the locker trying some more complex looks but decided a simpler look with some angular indentations to give it a sci-fi feel was the best course, it would of also been easier for TK to get working as opposed to my other lockers that had more complex door openings.

Lift

For the lift I originally made a smaller and more personal lift with sleeker design, however after seeing the placements and what Johnny had in mind and the more cargo use I made it bigger and made the doors bulkier to give them a more mechanical feel.

AI Core

When it came to making the AI core i wanted it to be more visually striking than the other assets on the ship, I gave it a wiry cage like feeling with the core itself I made it bright blue with a glossiness to it to make it stand out, I added the rings which TK said he could make spin to further draw attention so players knew this was their initial goal.

AI structure

Similarly as the core, the actual structure itself I wanted to be eye catching so I made it big and imposing with a pointy edged design, the windows are to give a clear look at the rest of the level as well as have the AI core be visible from the outside.

Fence

For the fence and ramp i actually used a bench as a reference when modelling it as i didnt want it to just look like a normal fence, I added a greenish step to highlight it among the ship.

Vents

I didn't want to do just a straight box or tube for the vents as I felt that would be uninteresting to look at while climbing through them and wouldn't feel very sci-fi so i made sure to add plenty of indents, as well as a gaps so players could see out.

Ladder

I took inspiration from the ladder in Alien Isolation while making this as I felt the curved steps just looked more interesting and sci-fi.

What went well and what didn't?

I’d overall say I’m pleased with the outcome, I find there's a good variety in the models that for the most part capture what we set out to create in the beginning, there is enough detail in most of the models and they’re visually interesting to look at too, texture wise I find it a bit more mixed, where some textures I feel came out exactly as I wanted others didn’t quite work as well as I intended, regardless though it helped me better understand Substance Painter, a tool I was largely unfamiliar with until now and I don't think there are any textures that are glaringly bad in my opinion.

Another aspect I feel worked well was the modular design that I used for creating most of the models, allowing us to create bigger and more varied environments without increasing the workload to a ridiculous amount and impacting the look of the ship negatively, however I did make a few mistakes with this as it is my first time creating modular assets for an environment, I failed to use exact measurements for some of the different pieces, (E.g the door frames are a different length than the walls) which brought up issues when fitting the level together.

But in summary I am predominantly pleased with much of the outcome and look forward to using the skills I learned on this in future projects.