#My favorite mortician <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[pedroshotwifey]

Joel Miller Fic Recs

Closer by @beardedjoel Completed Series - Neighbor!Joel x F!Reader

Pretty Little Wife by @beardedjoel One shot collection - Husband!Joel x Housewife!Reader

Belong to Me by @chloeangelic Ongoing Series - Linecook!Joel x Waitress!Reader

Dad's Best Friend Joel Miller by @notjustjavierpena One shot collection - DBF!Joel Miller x Bratty!Reader

Brat Tamer Joel Universe by @chloeangelic Completed Series - Brattamer!Joel x Bratty!Reader

Love's gonna get you killed by @pascalisbaby One shot series - jackson!joel x f!reader - Joel's kinda mean but it's ok bc we love him

Daddy Joel One Shot by @toxicanonymity One shot - Joel Miller x f!reader

Sundown by @bageldaddy One shot - Joel Miller x fem!reader

Going For a Ride by @palioom One shot - DBF!Joel Miller x F!Reader

You're a Mansion With a View by @atticrissfinch One shot - Joel Miller x fem!reader

Darkness on The Edge of Town by @romanarose Series - Joel Miller x reader

Yes, Mr. Miller by @pedropascallme One shot - dom!joel x sub!reader

Treat You Right by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin One shot - boyfriend's brother!joel x f!reader

Oh Honey by @lincolndjarin Ongoing series - Monster!Joel Miller x Mortician!reader

VS, Bath & Body Works, Spencer's, GameStop, Halloween Special , and Massage Chair by @strang3lov3 Series (Can be read as stand alones) - Joel Miller x f!reader I CANNOT get enough of these two!! One of my favorite series by far for sure... The chemistry Bug gives these two is absolutely astonishing. Lots of laughs from this one as well!

Tommy's Hard Day by @toxicanonymity One shot - Joel Miller x fem!reader x Tommy Miller (Reader is free use aka Joel and Tommy don't touch)

Kinktober Day Nine by @corazondebeskar-reads One shot - Joel Miller x f!reader

Black Mail by @milla-frenchy One shot - Joel Miller x f!reader x Javier Pena

Just This Once by @talaok One shot - Joel Miller x fem!babysitter!reader

Strawberry by @joelsgreys One shot - Joel Miller x sub!fem!reader

Little Rabbit by @velvetmud One shot - Joel Miller x f!reader

Texas Hold 'Em by @sweetercalypso One shot - Joel Miller x afab!reader

2003; A DBF Odyssey by @macfrog One shot - dbf!Joel Miller x fem!reader

But I'm Better, Blood Flow, and Daddy's Girl by @bunnysbrainrot One shot series - dbf!Joel Miller x fem!reader

You Know You Never Stood a Chance by @corazondebeskar-reads One shot series (ongoing) - qz!Joel Miller x f!reader

Something Wretched About This by @covetyou Series (complete) - Joel Miller x f!reader

Wild and Unruley by @clawdeewritesfanficOne shot - Recently Divorced!Joel x afab!reader

Drive In by @hotgirlbedtimescenarios One shot - Joel Miller x f!reader

Never Pegged You for a Quitter by @seventeenpins One shot - sub!Joel Miller x tess x f!reader

Sticky by @ezrasbirdie One shot - Subby!Joel Miller x reader

Doing the Work by @jksprincess10 Drabble - Joel Miller x f!reader

Talk Me Down by @hellishjoel One shot - Therapist!Joel Miller x f!reader ...I don't want to talk about how much this called me out.

Yes, Mr. Miller? by @romanarose One shot - dbf!Joel Miller x f!reader

Piss Kink by @pedge-page One shot - Joel Miller x fem!reader Usually not my thing but.. holy fuck.

Pretty Little Thing by @hellishjoel One shot - dbf!joel/brat tamer!joel x f!reader

Stepdaddy by @chloeangelic Series (complete) - Stepdad!Joel Miller x f!reader

UPDATED 12/3/23

[locke-n-k3y]

15 Questions for 15 People

Thank u @sp-ace-twinkk for the tag :] I love questionss

1. Are you named after anyone?

Locke is not anyones name as far as I knoooww but! My other name Connor I got from my own oc, someone asked me for my name one time and I thought they wanted my oc's name so I told them that, NEVER corrected them and it stuck (It's been seven yrs since then, I don't even talk to that person anymore)

2. When was the last time you cried?

Yesterday! I relistened to episode 61 of season 1 of dungeons and daddies

3. Do you have kids?

Nope, I have baby cousins but I don't really want my own

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

I used to love hockey and netball but my teachers never let me on any teams bc I suck at sports

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Very frequently but I'm also autistic so will almost always indicate if it is or not!

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Their most prominent colour, everyone is a colour to me, as in like hair colour, clothes colour ect

7. What's you're eye color?

Blue/grey, get told I have the blue eyed stare by friendsand family

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

I always prefer a happy ending bc movies give me adrenaline and if it ends poorly I crash, but I do love analogue horror

9. Any talents?

Perfect dolphin impression.

10. Where were you born?

Dorchester!

11. What are your hobbies?

Drawing, reading, playing dnd, cycling and feeding pigeons r the big ones, working on crochet and origami tho as well and started learning how to juggle recently!!

12. Do you have any pets?

Three cats, Zeus, Indie (Short for Indiana Jones) and Oscar Boscar, my sweet, sweet stupid boys

13. How tall are you?

5'7 I think?? I don't check

14. Favorite subject in school?

English and Psychology I looovvedd my psychology teacher in college

15. What is your dream job?

Currently about to go to art uni but eventually want to be a clown, therapist or farmer

Tag 15 people (No pressure! I offer thee): @itsbrucey @flowercrowns-n-punks @iersei @alexaatla @basicallyrj @maxwellamus @marbletheunworthy @paedenstigereye @raemeh @ike-mcswains-mortician @piss-wizard-ao3 @babacontainsmultitudes @guess-how-i-stole-this-body @chemicaleater @thedndgoblinwholivesinyourwalls

[writing-for-the-gays]

The whole being dead thing

(MUSICAL) BEETLEJUICE X GN! PLUS SIZE! MORTICIAN! READER

Beej being really into the readers body, fat4fat bitches rise up. Beetlejuice is a tummy guy.

+nsfw

- Death was something you were well acquainted with. Working with the dead like it was second nature.

- and to you it was, underneath florescent lights and protective gear you felt at home.

- you'd had run-ins with the recently deceased, it wasn't uncommon, in fact a representative of the underworld had given you a couple dozen copies of 'handbook for recently deceased'.

- ghosts were just a part of your job, so when Beetlejuice showed up you didn't think too much of it.

- until he stayed around.

"So why exactly do you stay here with me?" You ask, hands busy gently applying a layer of foundation on an older woman's face. Beetlejuice hums.

"I just like the vibe."

- one night after a particularly rough day (even as a seasoned mortician some things can still get to you.) you smoked a joint in the car before you left the parking lot.

-irresponsible? 100%, but you don't do it often, so Beetlejuice is high-key surprised.

- you're his favorite breather, so of course you smoke weed! And also a lil worried, but he's not exactly sure why yet.

- you end up falling asleep in the car and when you wake up you're leaning on him, he's just kinda looking at you with wide unblinking eyes.

- like a cat focusing on prey?? But y'know kinda lovingly .

- acts differently from that point

- he stops staying there for the 'vibe' he starts saying he just wants to hangout.

- outside of being at the funeral home.

- at YOUR house.

- he still came and went while you worked.

- one night you spark up maybe a little too much, and are just a bit too touchy, and- ah shit he's hard.

- you kiss him; he tries sobering you up. You think he's mad at you. You fucked up.

- you wake up the next morning and Beej checks up on you, and you apologize like crazy and low-key confess.

- he kisses you this time and you reciprocate. And soon his hands are wandering all over your body, and he finds your belly and it's soft and squishy and he can grab at it and and and-

-he short circuits, he can't produce new blood you assume so when it goes to his dick he def gets light headed.

- lets out just this fucking noise from deep in his throat, he's so turned on man.

- you grind on him and he almost cums in his pants 🤩.

- your hands find his body, and you run your hands across his folds and just hold his love handles

- you fuck so hard that night you genuinely have to call of work because you can't walk.

- if you're trans masc he sucks T dick like a binki btw! Runs his tongue over the tip and slurps it down with the filthiest fucking noises, literally bobbing his head up and down, moaning when you pull his hair.

- T shots are followed by head, he can't go without it.

- trans femmes he sucks girl cock like it's his fucking job, will literally only come up to call you a good girl and finger you :3!

- what I'm trying to say is he's super good at giving head, and it's mostly bc he doesn't need to breathe, so he could go until your legs shake and you're crying 🩷.

- also takes it up the ass like a fucking CHAMP, whining for it and his voice literally cracking. (Oh God if you're teasing him, don't get me started, "you take my strap/cock so good pretty boy." "MORE PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE!")

- he pulls hair, scratches and bites, no you can't convince me otherwise.

-it sparks up... Interesting conflicts in your brain. "It's... not necrophilia, right? Technically??? You're dead, but not like... Dead dead, I can talk to you, and you can consent?"

- he's soft for you.

- but also you'll probably need to wrangle him into the bath.

[the-goya-jerker]

In light of my most recent review (Piss Christ), I wanted to talk a little bit about a personal pet cause of mine. There's over 300 of you, I can subject you all to my favorite little interests. >:3

Since I discussed our revulsion and distance from death, I think it'd be good to mention The Order of the Good Death. If you don't know about them, you probably know of one of their founder Caitlin Doughty or, as you might know her, Ask a Mortician over on youtube.

One of their big things is Death Positivity, basically encouraging people to speak about death frankly and without any stigma. Being able to have proximity to our dead can help us mourn. Different cultural groups should be able to practice their funerary practices even if we think they're weird or gross.

They're big on green burial (being buried not in a concrete box in the ground, without chemicals harmful to the environment), and legalizing human composting. Which, ik, that sounds kinda scary to some people, but y'know that "grow a tree with your ashes!" thing? 1. That shit is bullshit, cremains won't help a tree, they're sterile ash. 2. It's basically a version of that, but it actually works. It's just giving your body back to the earth. Not for everyone, but it should be an option!

They're also working on guides for queer people in like, end of life care and self advocacy for your death plan.

Also, if anthropology is your jam, check out From Here to Eternity by Caitlin Doughty, cause it's a great book on death practices around the world.

Anyway, overall I just recommend checking them out. I talk a lot about death here and the eroticism of rot, I figure some of you may have an interest. I'll link some of Caitlin's videos that I really like below the cut, cause she's funny, and death is super fucking interesting.

[monstersholygrail]

Do you have any monster OCs? or any OCs at all? :o

You are opening Pandora’s box with this question, my love. Goodness gracious, I’m gonna put it all under the cut because the answer is yes, I have many OCs both monster, cyborg, and otherwise!

Thank you so much for asking btw, it was super sweet of you <33

If anyone would like to send in any asks about these then I’d be more than happy to talk about them 👉🏼👈🏼

Tumblr OCs

So, starting off with on my blog, I have 2 OCs! I have Demon Prist, my special boy. His story is that he is a fallen angel who is desperately trying to get back into Heaven and God’s good graces when you come into his life. He’s convinced you’re a gift from God for his devotion all these millennia as you take his pain away.

I also have Ghost bf whose name is yet to be revealed although I do have one! His story (lore drop!) is that when moving to a new city, you’re looking for an apartment and you find him! The two of you talk for weeks before agreeing to a sort of trial run. But before you can get there, Ghost bf dies and you show up to an empty apartment and you expect him to be back soon. When he reveals himself to you the two of you contact each other in weird ways and fall in love along the way.

More to come too!

Book OCs

Then I also have Monster OCs that I would like to introduce here and later possibly turn into books! The first being Wren and Emery. Wren is a bigender Eldritch monster whose favorite show is a monster hunter show where they find monsters and study them. Not actual hunting. Emery was the host of this show with her bf Jonah when a bad werewolf accident happens and Jonah kind of takes over the show. Wren decides to invite the show to his manor to essentially… catch him. All in order to help Emery. It’s very rom-com vibes. Wren and Emery are the main couple (Jonah is bad)

I have Delilah and Augustine with their friends Ivory and Sivan. I want to write their story through an anthology. It’s basically flustered vampire x bimbo human. Delilah is insanely smart, she’s a mortician ironically. But she misses a lot of things right in front of her, hence the bimbo type personality. So it’s a collection of like Augustine constantly getting caught being a vampire bc he’s not smooth or sneaky (anymore) and it just doesn’t click for Delilah. Which makes Ivory, her best friend that’s also a secret vampire, insane. She’s a hypocrite but her and Auggie have a fun dynamic.

Thirdly, I also have Zella and Senén. Sen is a hybrid wolf who ran his own mafia when his men thinks he betrayed them and the cops are on his tail. So hides as a puppy hybrid in England with an American woman named Zella who’s there looking after her sick grandmother. He has to maintain his facade even as he finds it all super demeaning. But he falls for Zella and starts getting comfortable in this new life when trouble turns its head back around on him.

Next I also have this idea for a futuristic serial fiction that would span over at least 100 chapters. It’s sci-fi fantasy. Think Nimona-ish but darker. It’s ultimately kinda cyberpunk but from the opposite perspective of it for the most part. It follows Nora or Noor and she’s in the II (Iridium Imperium) also known as the eyes. It’s a guild that protects the city like law enforcement and they’re all cyborgs with special magical gifts. Their whole city runs on guilds it’s a requirement to be in one within city limits. Only those with magical gifts can join The II. The story covers the climatic and intense downfall of The II and ultimately Nora herself as everything she’s ever known is destroyed and she’s the last to accept it if she ever really does. She has at least 3 romantic partners over the course of the series but I’m unsure if I want her to end up Ren, her enemies to lovers man from outside the city limits who understands her far too well, her ex Gio who abandoned her in order to join the resistance but always comes back for her whenever she needs him, end up with them both in a throuple, or if she should end up alone! It’s a huge world and many OCs within this world.

The working title of this next one is called Grimoire Gargoyles! It features Giselle who’s a librarian working in France at a super old library. She finds herself in the restricted section and reads out loud from a book. Accidentally releasing two French Revolution Gargoyles from their prison stuck on top of the library. Now that Francois and Bastien are free they try and leave but find themselves drawn back to Giselle. Revealing themselves to her she isn’t afraid given that monsters are a normal sight in their world. Though Gargoyles have been extinct since the Revolution. Together they work together to try and finish the spell to release them from their curse and fall in love along the way.

More include a heist trilogy with a Dragon jeweler for the King and a thief, a dryad who accidentally performs a mating ritual with an ancient dragon at a festival celebrating his supposed vanquishing, a vampire stalker who stalks a human after tasting her blood for the first time but then stops and she starts stalking him bc she’s upset he stopped stalking her, a dragon hybrid and a griffin hybrid who exchange mating symbols as kids and basically betroth themselves to each other but he’s meant to marry her sister and years later they go through the marriage trials together not knowing it’s impossible for him to marry someone else.

Other Book OCs

My oldest OCs are from last November and it’s called Crafting Constellations. It’s an elf world and all high fantasy. The first book follows Soleil and Peracles. Peracles is the heir to a Kingdom that’s only ever had female rulers and Soleil is his general. They have a forbidden romance going on and have to work together to figure out the evil plot against the crown by an unknown force. See art of them here. Its sequel features Cane, Peracles’ royal advisor and Soleil’s ex, in his heartbreak when he saves Pera from being poisoned. He gets into an enemies to lovers with Pera’s assassin named Astraea. Then the third book features the antagonist as the main character Nova and she kidnaps Viyan, a co-worker of sorts with Astraea in order to get revenge. Then I have a secondary series featuring all 4 of Peracles’ brothers with love interests. Also a prequel that’s a sapphic tragedy with Peracles mother and her own general.

Then my second oldest OCs named Prudence and Narada. It’s another sci-fi fantasy series. Prudence is a part of a faction that has the power to get into another persons mind and read it and control it. A long time ago her faction was deemed too dangerous to stay alive so they made them extinct. And for over 100 years they’ve been living in secret and pulling the strings of their entire world Janeus. Her coven sees into the future and ensures fate stays on course. So they kill the emperor of one of the empires so that his son takes over: Narada. Prue goes there, hiding her eyes as their powers are revealed through eye color. And she successfully manipulates him but they fall for each other along the way and she ends up betraying her coven and revealing herself and their plan for the young emperor. Prue is convinced that she can fix things and manipulate fate all on her own but their world slowly begins to perish and she realizes her mistake. When she gets a “chosen one” prophecy with herself as the one to defeat, she learns to accept fate and that you can’t control it as she thought.

More include a fae hunter x fae lord that’s kinda similar to Lion King 2: Simba’s Pride lol, two demons and a human working at a casino and underground fighting ring that helps them hide from the world when their pasts catch up to them, and a biblical apocalypse where the world is split into the seven deadly sins and the Lord of Greed and a man working for the Lord of Lust inadvertently work to bring the second coming of Christ.

And I’m sure there’s even more that I’ve forgotten or that have slipped my mind!! I have so many plots in my head that it’s hard to focus on any of them lol.

[aris-ink]

Would you like to give us some series recs. (Angsty,,mature)typa series

💕💕💕💕💕

series... okay, these are easier to remember, enjoy angel 💖

min yoongi, three tangerines by kithtaehyung. slow burn, slight age gap, brother's best friend, angst, fluff, pining, tension, romance, smut. really beautiful writing. long chapters.

kim namjoon, he's your father's best friend by your-daily-biaswrecking. 👀 this isn't so much a series as it is a drabble with two parts, but it had to be mentioned here bc like >>> dilf!namjoon, age gap, angst, smut. I first came across this story ages ago and I never forgot it, the way the angst and the reunion scene were written did so many things to my heart 😩

kim seokjin, off limits by floralseokjin. brother's best friend, slight angst, fluff, smut. no words no words no words 💖

if you're looking for series that contain some good angst, lots of comfort and amazing smut I am referring you to my queen @beahae 👑 seriously stunning, touching writing, her masterlist is one of my favorite places to go back to for comfort ♥️

jeon jungkook, ex on the beach

ot7, unorthodox

if you're in the mood for series with angst, lots of comfort, lots of fluff and mature themes without the smut, I refer you to my other talented queen @imnotlauriane. I don't even know which series to recommend, I started reading three so far, but I guess she's a magician or something because she comes out with something new and wonderful ALL THE TIME so

here is the masterlist <3

if you'd prefer darker fantasy with these themes and some more amazing smut, please check out claret cravings by @vvh0adie ❤️

hello?! mortician witch reader and seven adorable, possessive vampire bats 🦇 the story is so, so incredibly well written, creative and has the kind of gothic vibes I absolutely love and can't find anywhere else.

speaking of dark fantasy mixed in with these themes and more remarkable writing — @yoongsisbae

masterlist

pick and choose — zombies, werewolves, end of the world. bewitching is the only word I can think of here. I'm only starting my journey through these and I'm in so so love. as I knew I would be ♥️

@jeonggukieverse!!! 🌹fantastic yandere, mystery thrillers. again, I couldn't find works like hers anywhere else. perfection if you ask me, not only in regards to the horror aspect of it, but also the writing itself. 💗

jeon jungkook, bunny boy.

jeon jungkook, let the games begin.

@orchidyoonkook 💐

jeon jungkook, to what we were before, and all the things after. smut, fluff, angst, slow burn. again, only starting my journey here but <3 dreamy and beautiful, yes please to the entire concept of Jungkook as a prince, golden minds create golden stories I guess 💯💞

@deepdarkdelights 💘 this one is so obvious, but I completely fell in love with the outstanding writing style and the unique plot.

jeon jungkook, ten seconds. yandere, angst, smut, hurt/comfort themes.

please don't forget to send the talented authors some love <3

[theabyssal]

By God I didn't think the demo could get any better than it was before but you very much proved me wrong.

So many things to say lol

Not really spoilers but maybe???

1. firstly mask options are so cool good job! 2.Marcella is adorable and I can't wait to find out more about her.

3. That first interlude nearly had me in tears with how much emotion there was like damn that much guilt was just so saddening.

4. Was really lovely meeting Mr mortician and Sophie is a cutie.

5. I really hate how well you wrote the last bit of dialog because although I want to hate our dear sister somehow I kind of just pity her.. there is just an undertone of bitterness that comes from her that's both sad and makes me want to slap her kind of.

the dialog options were just phenomenal too. Especially right before the end.

I'm honestly just so excited for this. I can't wait to have a Sol POV tho because that's gonna be emotionally taxing to read and I love torturing myself and I look forward to just go from very compassionate Death to emotionally stunted and chaotic. It's gonna be wild! Somehow you made a wonderful demo even greater. Which is a talent in itself. ♥️

Heeey!!

You just highlighted my favorite things about this update!! 🥰🥰

So happy you enjoyed!! 🖤🖤

[pan-nerd]

I think my favorite thing about The Men in Black Trilogy (I refuse to acknowledge MIB International cause it was garbage) is the consistency in the characters, writing, and lore.

The first movie definitely plays off classic alien tropes, but subverts them in a way you wouldn't expect. Like, who expects the Alien to be a giant cockroach in a skin suit chasing after a galaxy on earth and subsequently killing an alien prine before being blasted to bits by a senior agent, rookie agent, and a mortician. All in the span of 2-3 days as well. Then it ends with Kay retiring, leaving his position to the 2 day rookie, Jay.

Then the second movie brings Kay out of retirement because the world needs him. What I love though, is that, despite Kay having been neuralized, he still knows deep down that something from his life is missing. When he finds out aliens exist, he isn't even remotely shocked. He kinda just accepts it and gets on with his life. I also love how his age doesn't detract from his character at all. Jay deadass finds his old partner and is like 'hop in geezer, we got work to do.'

Then the third movie does TIME TRAVEL!!! AND THEY DO IT SO WELL! To time jump, you literally have to JUMP OFF A BUILDING!!! Kay regrets not killing a past target, which leads to a timeline shift where Boris goes back in time to kill Kay, leaving all but Jay who remembers Kay! And then Jay goes back in time just to save Kay (technically the world too, but like, not really. He just wanted to save Kay). And while back in time, he finds out that Kay has been looking after him pretty much his entire life! That scene where Jay sees his younger self still breaks my heart every time I watch it. Also, Griffin is amazing. We love him.

Like, I cannot get over how amazing these movies are, and I'm not even a huge fan of action/detective movies or whatever genre they are.

Also, Jay and Kay are in love in my mind. (Don't judge me)

[ieatratsforlunch]

SMALL Intros to some of my Sparklecare OCs because I'm so normal about them

All of these guys are gonna be in the fanfic plus some others!! I can't currently make any doodles of them but you may see some art in the future!! I'll be explaining their appearances in the fanfic

Jinkles G. Jangle - Species: Mudi Dog - Trans boy, He/Him pronouns - Pansexual - Allotpun: "Jingle Jangle" - Ringleader and Clown of the Sparklecircus

Super ecstatic and excitable guy!! Speech patterns include many marks (Ex: "What???!!!!" "Awww!!!!")

Despite his sweet nature, he is not to be trusted. Shows no remorse for his cruel actions towards his "customers", doesn't seem to see why what he does is wrong

Very buddy-buddy with Cuddles, somehow genuinely likes that guy as a person; nobody knows how

Acts friendly to patients as if he hasn't hurt them multiple times, generally gives a lot of mixed singles as a person

Big fan of things others would deem disturbing, such as movies or flash series with very dark themes. He's genuinely very desensitized to those sorts of things (For reasons you will later learn)

Harvey U.N. Plug, "Professor Plug" - Species: Fruit/Vampire Bat - Agender, He/They/It pronouns - Achillean - Allotpun: "Unplug, Hardly Unplugged" - In charge of media propaganda of Sparklecare

Very easily irritated, snappy towards those it doesn't know

Very annoyed by most of the more cheerful staff members, VERY annoyed by Jinkles due to his "partnership" with Cuddles

Actually a very good actor; they have a love for theatre and movies, some of his favorites include Turklet(Hamlet) and Tiny Store Of Terrors (Little Shop Of Horrors)

Dislikes bright lights, wears glasses not due to bad eyesight, but to keep lights out of its eyes. His office is constantly very dim, though it does keep some small lights on in case others come inside; there have been many issues with people walking in and knocking things over in the darkness

Loves attention, but finds it easy to get stressed out from it; he has an inflated ego, but holds those close to them higher than itself

Bree Kein Heartz - Species: Rabbit/Bear - Non-Binary, She/It pronouns - Ace Sapphic - Allotpun: "Breaking Hearts" - Mortician of Sparklecare

Very quiet and secluded person, pessimistic as well. It's very up-front about things in conversations, usually not caring if she comes off as rude, especially if it's towards Cuddles

Usually she finds energetic people tiring due to its own low energy, but she has quite a soft spot for doctor Puppy

Has a deep, androgynous voice that is hard to read the tone of. Paired with its usual blank expression, it's extremely hard to read its emotions

She genuinely has a talent for what she does, she takes good care of the bodies inside the hospital, and handles them with respect

It doesn't like what happens at the hospital, but it cannot get a job elsewhere due to her questionable family history (which you will learn more of)

Well, this sure was a long post! Hope you guys will enjoy these dudes as much as I do once the first chapter is out! You can also send me asks about them if you wanna :3

[visceravalentines]

OOOH!! mortician query 4 u, meg my beloved. would luv even a short lil play-by-play of what an average workday looks like for u. if there is an average!! I'm sure there's a TON of variation. I'm just. v v intrigued 👀👀👀 also!! not sure if u have answered this yet. but. how would u describe the smell of decomp? embalming fluid? I've seen u mention the smell clinging to u and. inquiring minds etc etc

MWAH. luv u forever

tysm my dearest!!! <333 i am putting the entire thing below a cut bc you really hit the talk button with the smells question and i don't need to inflict that on everybody lmao

my days are basically lego towers. there are many possible pieces and we fit them together however we need! my role at my current mortuary is largely meeting w families to make funeral arrangements, making all the phone calls and emails and filing the paperwork to Make The Funeral And Burial/Cremation Happen, helping them with any preparations they'd like to be involved in re: the deceased (dressing, doing hair, etc.), and then working the funeral itself. obviously this usually spans several days to a few weeks.

i also go on death calls, embalm, help get people dressed and cosmetized, get people ready for cremation, and transport bodies. everywhere. drivin them to other mortuaries we own, the crematory, the cemetery, wherever. probably at least a third of the driving i do involves a corpse buckled in behind me lol.

every day is different! the lego tower might be short or it might be so scary tall. my favorite days are the ones where i get to be out and about and busy, i don't like being cooped up with a grieving family for three hours (yikes that's half my job).

as for the smells.......oh the smells........they are genuinely very hard to describe. embalming fluid is often scented, so it smells kind of......chemical fruity. sweet and artificial. but formaldehyde gives off fumes, so often with the heavy stuff you're not smelling it so much as it is blinding you and searing your entire upper respiratory tract. imagine like......walking into a tiny bathroom that's been scrubbed with bleach. we call it "getting smoked out" when you have to physically remove yourself or perish. it can be brutal.

and decomposition my darling my beloved. it reeks, dude. but it's a clean stink. a reliable stink. far from the worst stink that the human body can produce. once you know what that smell is, you recognize it everywhere. roadkill, the meat aisle. one time i walked past a garbage can full of dog shit on a 95 degree day and that......that smelled like decomp.

fresh decomp smells much worse and has more variety. sometimes it's like the absolute worst fucking fart you've ever smelled and it never ends (i mean, that's literally what it is). sometimes it smells sickly-sour like meat that's gone off (also literally what it is), but like......so much of it. stale decomp i actually don't mind so much, but i am a freak. it smells musty. sweet the way an old library book is sweet. kind of wet, like wet fabric that hasn't dried properly. and it's cloying, like......you can taste it. crawls down your throat. sometimes after a bad death call in the middle of the night, you simply must shower. because you know for a fact you didn't get it on you.......but it's stuck in your nose and how are you gonna sleep with that. gosh it's my favorite ever. what an end awaits us all <3

[prentissluvr]

Hi I really like your writing and want to request something for your milestone event, level 200 relationship headcanons. Romantic with Sam Winchester

2. Some of my hobbies are reading, watching horror movies and I really like doing makeup specifically more alternative or goth.

3. I imagine I would be a mortician which is also what I want to be in reall life.

4. My Favourite love luggage's are are physically touch and quality time

5. My physical affection is hugs and cuddling

9. My ideal date spot is a grave yard

10. 4 words I would use to describe myself are spooky, goth, silly, creative

hi lovely!! thank you so much! i hope you enjoy it sm!!

+ .⠄ ꒱ SIT BACK, RELAX, AND IMAGINE . . .

[ 🖇 ] wow so sam is just totally obsessed with you, but yk that's normal for him hehehe

[ 🖇 ] it feels safe to assume you'd meet him while he's on a hunt! and he's trying to find out what happened to the dead body of some person that might be the ghost and he ends up needing to speak with you about it!

[ 🖇 ] and as you talk, he ends up being really struck by your appearance and personality

[ 🖇 ] it's a little detail, but he really likes seeing the effort and skill in how you do your makeup! he just thinks it's sooo cool (stanford!sam used to wear eyeliner and knows how much effort it takes to get good at it)

[ 🖇 ] and he just really likes the way you talk, idk even he just is overall very intrigued by you and wants to get to know you better!

[ 🖇 ] so he makes his moves! and gets your number etc and eventually you start dating!

[ 🖇 ] he loves getting to know you and to see your less professional side

[ 🖇 ] adores your silly and creative side and actually likes your interest in spooky things because it makes you more accepting of the supernatural etc

[ 🖇 ] but yeah, he totally falls in love with your creativity especially!

[ 🖇 ] he’s just really impressed by anyone with creative skills, and he loves you for it extra!!

[ 🖇 ] he also really appreciates your willingness to be silly when so many adults find it important to be serious and all that

[ 🖇 ] so he really likes being able to loosen up around you, and he loves so so much that you always make him laugh <3

[ 🖇 ] he’s always in awe of your style and becomes really interested in the goth subculture, especially its history because he’s a little nerd hehe

[ 🖇 ] your hobbies fit really well with his!!

[ 🖇 ] he loves loves loves to read, obviously, and one of his favorite things to do with you is read together

[ 🖇 ] sometimes the same book, other times separately

[ 🖇 ] or he’ll read to you before bed and the likes <33 he has such a soothing voice

[ 🖇 ] ahhh and at first he’s like sort of confused by the idea of going on a date in a graveyard

[ 🖇 ] but he’s happy to try anything tha you want, so you have reading dates in the graveyard where you sit under a big tree and read together like you normally do

[ 🖇 ] and sam comes to realize that he really, really likes it because, while the things he does in graveyards usually (digging up graves and burning bones lmao) aren’t usually pleasant, it’s actually a very familiar setting

[ 🖇 ] and for sam, who lacks constants in his life, it’s actually really really nice for him to spend time with you somewhere familiar <33

[ 🖇 ] and he also loves to watch horror movies with you!!

[ 🖇 ] i think he’s a huge horror movie nerd and he likes talking about random niche movie facts lolol

[ 🖇 ] and he likes to be his secret little judgey self and critisize all the things they get wrong about the supernatural in the movie lmao

[ 🖇 ] loves finding indie horror films to watch with you especially! 

[ 🖇 ] prefers psychological horror, but will always watch whatever you like!

[ 🖇 ] your love languages also match up really well!!

[ 🖇 ] as well as your favorite types of physical affection!

[ 🖇 ] sam is suchhhh a huge cuddlebug even if he tries not to act like it, and he loves loves loves to cuddle you <33

[ 🖇 ] plus he loves hugs so so so so so much i think those are his favorite!

[ 🖇 ] because he feels so secure that way, and he likes holding you, it’s part of how protective he is

[ 🖇 ] and his other love language is also definitely quality time!

[ 🖇 ] he doesn’t care what you’re doing, as long as he’s spending time with you, he’s happy <3

[amadmadmadworld]

31 Days of Horror

Day 2: The Autopsy of Jane Doe

Ooohhh boy. I cannot tell you how much I love this movie. I like a lot of movies, it doesn't take much to make me like one (which is why I would probably not make a good critic). But I am totally serious when I say that this one particular flick is at least in my top five of all time favorites. Which is why I am so frustrated by how criminally underrated it is.

Here's the story: set in Virginia (my home state <3), a grisly scene is found in a seemingly serene suburban home. Three people (an older couple and a worker unrelated to the couple) are viciously murdered, the house in disarray with blood and obvious signs of chaos. However, they are killed in different ways and the details confuse the investigators. But it gets even more strange when they find a partially buried young woman in the basement. Unlike the other victims at the scene, she is undisturbed, clean of any bloodshed and trauma. She's not related to any of the three victims and nobody has any clue of who she is or how she got there. So, the local sheriff (played by Michael McElhatton, who oddly looks like Kevin Spacey but thankfully has no relation to him) takes the victim--customarily referred to as Jane Doe--to local coroner/mortician Tommy Tilden and his son & assistant, Austin. The two conduct a customary autopsy on the young lady, and that is when the story really gets going. As mentioned before, she is clean. If anything, she looks like a Sleeping Beauty, untouched and at peace. But that turns out to be very, very untrue. Right off the bat, her eyes are milky, like she's been dead for quite a while, but doesn't have the slightest indications of rigor mortis or decay. She does, however, have shattered wrists and ankles, foreign dirt in her hair and under her nails, and, oh, a tongue that's been ripped out. That's just the tip of the iceberg. As the two continue the autopsy, they find more and more oddities and internal damage inflicted by horrific torture. If that's not enough, creepy things start to act up around them in the morgue as they dig deeper in to the mystery that is Jane Doe before it spirals into total madness. I would love to go on about the rest of the story and the haunting, fascinating details, but I don't want to spoil it. But, seriously, once you start watching it, you're sucked right in and don't want to stop until you see it all the way to the end. And it is so worth it. By the end, you are puzzled, unnerved, and wondering what hell you just watched and what happens next.

The movie directed by André Øvredal (who also did Mirrors, The Last Voyage of The Demeter, Trollhunter, and Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark) came out in 2016 and has a very small cast, perfect for a movie in a claustrophobic setting. It's stars are the excellent Brian Cox and the grudgingly decent Emile Hirsch (I must let you know that, a year before the movie was released, he strangled a female executive with his bare hands. He was sentenced to 15 days in jail, 90 days of probation, 50 hours of community service, and additionally fined $4,750. Ick.) However, the other, unsung star of the film is the lovely Miss Olwen Kelly. An Irish model who has dabbled in cinema, she plays the role of who else but the titular Jane Doe. Kelly steals the show without having to so much as blink, which is exactly what she does. Now, here's the thing: in these movies, they sometimes use an actor and a dummy. But not this particular movie. It's all Kelly. As in, every scene, every second featuring Jane Doe even in the background, is Olwen Kelly herself in the flesh. Prosthetics and makeup are used, of course, but it's still all Kelly. Lying perfectly still, unblinking, breathless, and totally limp. She spent hours like this. Seriously. As it turns out, Kelly practices yoga and, for the movie, she mastered controlling her breathing and relaxing her body to the point she would seem totally devoid of breath and life, just like a corpse. Damn, Kelly, talk about committing to the bit. Thanks to her creepy technique and excellent acting (or lack of acting, since she's a body), the character Jane Doe and the movie are all the more unnerving and feel so real in spite of the bizarre twists and turns. She might not be moving a muscle, but for almost the entire movie, Jane Doe is staring at us with a blank and spine chilling gaze that would make Sissy Spacek's Carrie and The Grudge's Kayako proud, all the while she tells her story through the puzzle that is her body and one special song that comes up every now and then in the movie, Open Up Your Heart (And Let The Sunshine In) originally by the McGuire Sisters and covered by Cowboy Church Sunday School.

Everything about this movie is top notch. The acting, the writing, the setting, the story, the music, the characters, the scares, even the littlest details, is nothing short of amazing. Hell, even Stephen goddamn King agreed. The master of horror compared it to Cronenberg's early films and the classic Alien. He recommended to watch it but, quote, "not alone". It is a truly spooky story, and its undertones perfectly tackle the invisible devastation of psychological and emotional trauma. The movie's message fits so well in the cases of horror and mental health: everything might look fine, but if you look close enough, you'll find that it's not. Brian Cox, as Tommy Tilden, sums it all up quite well with one line he says in the first act of the movie: "Every body has a secret. Some are just better at them than others."

[herbi-cide]

you know how my directory post mentions asking about my ocs? well here's your opening for that! here's a compilation of a few drawings of my absolute favorite oc, kelso! some information about him will be right after the pictures :)

kelso is a transmasculine and bisexual person who uses they/them and he/him as pronouns, with no specific preference for either.

he is polish, and it's his native language. he learned english after moving to the US.

he is 28 years old and works as a mortician, but he also paints and collects bones and trinkets as hobbies! he also loves the movie making process, and has a crazy amount of DVDs.

he has 3 cats: hattie (old orange cat that he brought with him from poland), goose (a big grey maine coon), and toothless (a fluffy black cat, named after the dragon of the same name).

he loves sweets and, for some reason, hard boiled eggs. he puts salt on them and munches away. yes i am serious.

and the alternate outfit was made entirely for fun! :o)

happy asking!

[prxttyp0ison]

my ghostbusters oc!! (for the og movies + afterlife and FE)

(faceclaim: Kate Bush top 3 = first 2 movies, bottom 3 = afterlife and FE)

(i had to use an app to age the last 3 bc i couldn’t find any older photos of her 😭)

Karina Ambrose

Full name: Dr. Karina Evangeline Ambrose

Aliases: Karina, Dr. Ambrose, Rina, Kari

Age: 27 (first movie/1984), 32 (second movie/1989), 64 (afterlife/2021), 67 (FE, 2024)

Birthday: May 27th

Hair color: brunette

Eye color: hazel

Height: 5’11

Occupation: demonologist, ghostbuster, former mortician

Family: Charlene Ambrose (mother)

William Ambrose (father)

Charlotte (younger sister)

Megan (younger sister)

Lila (younger sister)

Nora (younger sister)

Paris (eventual daughter)

Arielle (niece)

Ariette (niece)

Rosa (cousin)

Parker (cousin)

Love interest: Egon Soengler

Trivia (TW for mentions of death):

- graduated high school at 16

- opened a funeral home at 20

- gave the funeral home to her sister, Megan at 27, as it got too lonely. she still comes back sometimes to help.

- spirits of those she was embalming would sometimes manifest and talk to her, telling her how they died and their life stories. this helped her get the job as a ghostbuster

- has severe acrophobia (fear of heights) to the point where it’s hard for her to even go up tall flights of stairs

- is a surprisingly talented harp player

- can sing very well, as her voice is often compared to that of a siren’s

- father owns a popular race-car track, so she’s very good at driving race-cars and even learned how to drive with them

- originally wanted to be a guitarist, but quickly discovered that she doesn’t like the way the strings feel on her fingers

- has a rather dark sense of humor, which is from working as a mortician for 7 years

- when egon left for summerville, he took her with him, carrying her into the car when she was asleep, as he felt as if he couldn’t go on without her. to this day, she still has no idea how they got there because he never told her. she feels terrible for not saying goodbye to the others, although she’s happy she could spend the rest of his life with him

- the first female ghostbuster on the team, which was huge news at the time

- has a daughter named Paris in 1995. she eventually moves to San Francisco and becomes a photographer

- his death took a huge toll on her: she absolutely refuses to remarry.

- when she found him dead, she whispered between tears “we will be reunited,” and whispers/thinks these words each time somebody mentions him

- favorite color is royal purple

- likes the idea of death, but fears losing loved ones/herself dying

okayy, that’s it for now!!! I’ll post her moodboard soon bc i already have it made 😭 i’ll come back and update this if i think of anything else for karina! k, byeee!!! ♡

[vestigialpersonality]

My drawing skills are beyond rusty and I would rather spend that time writing so I messed around with Crowsen's Tiefling Maker on picrew to document Durge's faces from my latest fic.

Top row:

1) Magpie: In Blood in Baldur's Gate, Durge disguises himself as a young, presumably human thief called Magpie to interact with the player/Tav.

2) Niro: He has a habit of adjusting his face to look similar to people he spends time around so Niro is basically just male Orin. And the name is just Orin spelled backwards because I'm creatively bankrupt.

3) Lily: The kindly old mortician who runs the storefront for Candulhallow's Tombstones while plotting super murder from the office.

Middle row:

4) Riot: Probably his favorite face that's shown up in the series so far. Should actually have springbok horns, but these were the closest to the right shape/size.

5) The Inevitable: The divine flesh golem. His skin should be more sallow and corpsey instead of light gray like a half-drow. He's built from a mismatched collection of Bhaal's favorite bones and pieces from many different humanoid species.

6) Chance: Gortash's favorite face so far because in my mind he's only barely a 1 on the Kinsey Scale with only enough wiggle room for people who are overzealous with their praise of his intelligence/craftsmanship and this was when he realized that comphet was an option.

Bottom row is mostly just stray thoughts because I wanted this to be a square.

7) Asphodel: The misery of being uncomfortable in one's own skin.

8) Lacheln. What if he mimiced Karlach and unintentionally made Gortash uncomfortable with young Raphael vibes.

9) Ydwin. More of an inside joke than anything else about Ydwin from Pillars of Eternity 2 being the Astarion someone ordered from Wish.

Not pictured: Crane. Default Durge who got that name from Blood in Baldur's Gate. A white dragonborn bought a ritual knife from Sorcerous Sundries and gave Crane as the name for the bill of sale.

[victoriouscabaret]

I was tagged by the forever lovely @chaeza! Thank you friend! <3

Do you make your bed? When I remember to/feel like it. Mornings are usually chaos for me, so getting dressed and making myself look presentable usually takes priority over making the bed.

Favorite number? 9

What's your job? Office Manager. I’m happy with it. Definitely not burnt out like I was when I did funerals. I do really miss being a mortician though. Helping people and taking care of them during a tremendously hard time was so fulfilling, and I don’t think I’ll ever not be fascinated by death from a psychological, cultural, and medical perspective. Alas…

Can you parallel park? With a good deal of swearing and asking myself why I’m even doing this.

Do you think aliens are real? It would be stranger if they weren’t.

Can you drive a manual car? Better than a few, worse than most.

What's your guilty pleasure? Hmmm… I don’t really like sweets or candy, but I could absolutely devastate a package of dark chocolate covered orange peels. Those little things are unfairly tasty.

Tattoos? A teeeeeeny tiny Tolkien illustration of Smaug above the crook of my left arm, a hand holding a candle and a flower with the solar system around it (the universe I guess according to the artist? That’s what she called it at least. Its dope and I love it) on my right thigh, a tribal-esque snake that I drew when I was 19 and decided I needed it on me permanently, so it’s between my shoulder blades and has aged terribly. Going to get that covered up with a Big Ass Panther or something probably. Aaaaand a tragic stick n poke on the inside of my left ankle that I did when I was 17 and thought I was edgy. It looks like nothing. Just a bunch of faded dots of ink in the suggestion of a circle. I love tattoos and held off getting any after my snake for so long because I was worried about family and society judging me, but I’ve recently realized how absolutely fucking ridiculous that is, so I’ve already got my next three planned out lol.

Favorite color? Green

Favorite types of music? Any and all. If it’s got a danceable groove or great lyrics, it’s for me.

Do you like puzzles? Hyperfocusing on jigsaw puzzles is one of my favourite pastimes, but I have two cats, and one of them especially likes to “help” so I just don’t bother these days lol. Some brain puzzles stress me out, and numbers don’t work properly in my brain so stuff like Sudoku isn’t for me. I really enjoy riddles and logic puzzles.

Any phobias? Spiders, enclosed spaces, and heights.

Favorite childhood sport? I really enjoyed most sports as a kid and am a naturally athletic person. I really wanted to do hockey, but certain people thought that dancing was more appropriate for a girl, so into ballet I went for years. I did enjoy dancing a lot, and after I quit ballet and jazz, I started ballroom dancing and competed in country ballroom and swing until I turned 18.

Do you talk to yourself? I think my head would literally explode if I didn’t.

What movies do you adore? Oh man… so many. Comfort ones that I’ll always be happy to watch are: The Princess Bride, Kill Bill Vol. 1&2, Only Lovers Left Alive, the lotr trilogy, Moulin Rouge, and Wristcutters: A Love Story

Coffee or Tea? Coffee, but have ventured more into tea over the past year or so. My caffeine sensitivity went bananas when I still did funerals - I think because the funeral coffee I drank all day, every day was so strong my body was eventually just like “nope” so I can have like… max one coffee a day now otherwise I’m just anxious AND tired but can’t fall asleep at bedtime.

First thing you wanted to be growing up? An acrobat lol.

Non-obligatory tags: @thefallenangelsgang, @preciouslittlebhaalbae, @allofthebarks, @myheartismadeofstars, @inkymoonbunny