#My drawings on those come out better imo anyways

[06-archive]

I;dont think im gonna use sketchbooks anymore

[not-your-bro]

what i did and didn't (but mostly didn't) like about until dawn remake's character trait changes

hello friends and fans. i am super excited to welcome all my pals back to the latest episode of Laura Yaps About Until Dawn Remake. i've talked about the prologue here and here, and i plan on talking about other elements of the game (visuals, gameplay, narrative changes) whenever life and time allows.

before i go off about the character traits, thanks to @claarria for posting this handy side-by-side of old vs new. super helpful! i'll be using those images here.

and generally speaking, let it be known that i think the font change is so fucking ugly 💖 like god bless but it is so bad 💖💖 and they've made the layout so much less dynamic by just listing all the traits straight down, bullet point style?? it is all very microsoft powerpoint core and it sucks. anyway. onto the characters, in order of appearance.

sam

off topic but very importantly, how did they fuck up sam's face THAT bad?? ballistic moon sapped the life out of her and now there is literally nothing behind those eyes. HOMEGIRL WAKE UP 👏👏

one trait change here: adventurous -> brave. not wrong, but super redundant, because brave is one of the character stats in the menu, so like. at any point when i'm playing her, i can pop in the menu and see exactly how brave she is. it's pointless to put it here.

chris

one change: methodical -> loyal. and honestly. this one slays i can't lie. like yeahhhh 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

i know everyone loves to hate on chris now, but he pushes to help sam even when it puts himself at risk and he goes to the shed to get josh even though josh just traumatized the hell out of him lmao. boy is loyal asf and i'm more than happy to see it replace methodical.

jess

big changes here. i'm not jazzed to see confident go. i always thought smg included it purposefully, because this is how jess is trying to come across, even though she's actually insecure.

and imo trusting fits her far better than, say, driven. based on em's comment about her grades (and the fact that jess doesn't deny it lmao), i don't think she has much drive or ambition at this point in her life. she's always struck me as the kind of person who doesn't have a big dream or passion, and as high school graduation approaches she would feel sort of aimless? like she doesn't know where to go next.

i don't mean these as negatives, btw. jess is a top 3 ud character for me. i just don't think she's driven. and i think she is irreverent. and that's fine. 💖

emily

one change: persuasive -> forthright. like sam's change, this isn't wrong. emily is definitely forthright. but i don't like that we're shifting her further from mike (more on that later), and this change makes her use of words seem less purposeful. like she says what she wants just for the sake of it, instead of: she knows what to say to get people to do what she wants.

matt

matt's trait changes make for a much different impression. motivated and ambitious have been swapped with obliging and dependable, which shifts the focus from himself to others. we're drawing attention to an agreeable, go-with-the-flow personality, rather than the fact that he's got big dreams for himself (get that scholarship, bud).

i'm not sure i'm the biggest fan, because it kind of makes him seem like a doormat? it's possible that he never talks to emily about how she treats him, and he does film the prank on hannah even though he doesn't seem like he would. still...i guess i wish there was more of a mix here. he can be obliging and dependable, but he doesn't have to be, depending on your choices, and this really makes him feel like everything he does is for the sake of others.

mike

i appreciate ballistic moon pulling these shots back a little - some of them were really, like, up the character's nose lmfao. but bro those traits are unreadable against mike's skin 😭😭

anyway, mikey gets a complete overhaul. i've been over brave with sam. it's a waste of a slot. and it's not that mike isn't driven or charismatic. i mean, he is definitely charismatic, given his popularity in fandom. even i have this feeling of 'man, i should not be charmed by him' <- is definitely charmed by him. but i think we're losing a lot by separating him from emily, with whom he used to share 2 out of 3 traits (intelligent and persuasive). i always thought that said a lot about why they would be drawn to each other and start a relationship - but also why that relationship wouldn't last.

if i were to give mike any new trait, it'd probably be impulsive, which i think is a great fit for him. mike may be intelligent, but when it comes to decisions, he's a man of action - a doer, not a thinker. which is just as likely to lead to a bad outcome as it is a good one.

ashley

one change here (forthright -> sensitive), but god does it fucking suck. SENSITIVE?????? be fr. is ashley sensitive or is she traumatized nonstop for eight hours? she was upset when she was chained to a wall and thought she was going to die! when she thought her friend died! when she thought her other dead friend's ghost was trying to communicate with them! when she was put in a life-or-death trap a second time! that sure was sensitive of her!

if i could revert only one trait change, it would be this one. 0/10.

josh

must be said that josh's shot is much better in the remake. it could not have been worse, like i will never understand how anyone looked at that half-closed eye and open mouth and was like yeah that's a good first impression LMAO. so, cool with that.

tbh i also like josh's trait changes? this is another total overhaul, but honestly, at the risk of getting booed offstage, i'm happy with this. if i'm being real, complex was always a waste of a slot. like...yeah? i hope so? all of your characters should be complex to some degree. it feels like a weird shade to the other characters to point out one guy, specifically, as complex. so the rest of them are simple, then? 🤨 it's not that i would argue against josh being the most complex - i do think he is (though i realize my stance on that means little because i'm up this man's ass). it's just weird to draw attention to it.

as for the other traits, yeah, josh is thoughtful and loving. for sure. but i feel like these are sort of...level 2 traits. ykwim? and the new traits are level 1. if you hung out with josh in a casual way, in a group setting, remake traits would be more likely to spring to mind, to match that initial impression. i think you'd have to look more closely or spend more time to clock that he's thoughtful and loving, because outside of his sisters, i don't think he's particularly straightforward or overt in the way he conveys those things, and he wouldn't draw attention to them. maybe i'm leaning too hard on the version of him i've fleshed out in my mind, but josh is the kind of guy who would, like, remember one offhand comment matt made about liking a specific brand of beer. months later, at the next lodge trip, it's there in the fridge, and josh says nothing about it. but he remembered, and he got it. that's josh's brand of thoughtfulness. in my opinion.

none of these six traits are wrong, i just think the new ones are better 'first impression' traits for him.

[codexcracked]

Hollowhead Designs

I guess I forgot to post these??? Well, here they are now. The hollowheads from Animator Vs Animation!

Coloring is hard but I think they came together pretty well! I really like the concept of the 'hollowhead' being a halo rather than a literal hollow head... I'm just not fully sure how i'd draw that 😅

Musing on their designs and closeups are under the cut~

Chosen was supposed to look like that one guy with the scarf and sword from that flipnote animation. I originally wanted to give them a cape, but I couldn't make that look good... so scarf it is! As well as anime protagonist hair :D The export really did those flames dirty... They look WAY better in my at program. ah well.

Dark Lord looks pretty cool Imo. The suit jacket is VERY much their style, as is the triangular hairdo. The bracers aren't perfect, but they add to the whole 'angular' look. I wanted to give a nod to the virabots without literal extra legs, so I added some webbing to the inside of the jacket! I'm pretty happy with the colors here, good mix of light and darks that feel 'cohesive' to me.

Second Coming was supposed to look... pretty normal, all things considered. Friendly boi. I couldn't figure out a good hairdo, so I ended up just not giving them one, and honestly I like it better that way! They carry trinkets from all their friends in their sweater pockets :D

AURAAAAA I was adding the aura (shape of which was inspired by a Flight Rising cosmetic) and realized I could totally light the halo on fire too. They go a little apeshit, as a treat <3 Pose could have been better here, but 'aura' chosen doesn't really move around much in the animation anyways? Just sorta hovers there. Which this kinda conveys. I really enjoy how the green contrasts with the orange :D

The evilest lad! I loved AVA V so much. Victim is physically much shorter and appears to be weaker than the other hollowheads- and of course they would look like that, they actually are weaker! This design was made before AVA The Box, so I didn't add any of the 'editing' things- and besides, those arent Victim's anyways. I made Vic appear a little bit fem as a treat, and gave them a gun- gotta girlboss :D

[dosshie]

A new singer appears in street se... Huh?!

heck yeah VBS glitched gakupo AU!! more info below :D

about the design!

modern street fashion is like, the antithesis to all of my charcter designs. i hope i was able to make something coherent and cool-ish (i even needed to use a character maker for help sobs)

his shirt resembles a fake png, firstly i was gonna do a magenta-black checkerboard texture because that's usually the defeault missing texture in a lot of games, but it was clashing too much with his color scheme so i decided to use the fake jpeg (also cuz it's more recognizeable imo)

i also drew the back of his shirt! as a little reference to the proseka's files themselves (the provisional kanji image is from "the cutting room floor" page on prsk, there's some really interesting cut beta content from there!)

his shoes are kinda messed up because they're supposed to be incomplete. yes. totally not because i didn't know what to draw there!!

now, about gacky himself:

in my hc/au gakupo cannot speak properly, like some kind of engine error, imagine those utau to vocaloid ports, like they tried to port him to piapro NT but didn't go well and now he only speaks in broken syllables, static noise and sqweaks, doesn't make him show any less emotion tho

GAKUKAI JUMPSCARE!!! this is actually slightly based on this wonderful gakukai wxs fic but it was mostly based on the freaking alt color from kaito's costume from walk on and on (read my tags!)

i have no clue how the fandom portrays him and VBS virtual singers personalities are based on how fans view them so idk, to me gakupo is a bit playful and specially flirty with kaito who's totally oblivious, but he's also genuinely scary when he's serious

my little backstory for this is that gakupo straight up spawned in an abandoned screwed up and slightly glitched building of street sekai, and while kaito was wandering around, he got lost and found gakupo there! no clue which feelings made him appear

kaito tried to keep gakupo a secret from the rest of street sekai but meiko started noticing that he was grabbing DOUBLE the popsicles and ice cream.. and he was also strangely asking for eggplant flavoured things because he "wanted to try it out"... anyway she and miku eventually find out about the little glitchy man!

also... because he's character 27 and vsingers are the last ones in the id list... this leaves it open for more characters that i can add to this little au thing... maybe even a glitchy sister that speaks a little better than him and really likes carrot cake may come around to street sekai too, who knows!

[lemongogo]

what's your process for coloring like? the look of that elendira is so textured and interesting, i can't figure out how you do it

AA THANK YOUU ^__^ !! textures & brushwork are my favorite things abt my art, so im happy you find it interesting hehe . its SOO cool to look at & so much fun to draw imo

i prefer to color by building in layers , if that makes sense 🤔!! hundreds of them !! such that i'm always drawing on Top of previous layers, working from big & messy blocks of color to, eventually, small and refined blocks of color until it feels processed enough. as a result, i rarely ever erase (!!) and i rarely ever draw lineart aside from the initial sketch

a rough, patchy textured brush is key here, as it'll give you dimension and variability w/ your colors. i recommend "Brush and various sets of fountain pen style (万年筆風ブラシと色々セット)" on Clip Studio (ID: 1679706) !! :3

im terrible with explanations though, so i'm going to show a step by step of that elendira drawing if you dont mind :3

sketch layer !! because i mostly render through color alone, i try to make this as close to the finished thing as possible . ^__^ i hateee drawing the same thing over and over and like the expressivity and movement of my sketches anyways , so the more i can preserve at this step, the better. if u were to look at a side by side of my sketches and finished pieces, youd notice a lot of those og lines are present in the final drawing :3

2. flats !! pretty self explanatory, but the solid background gives me an idea of where the figure begins & ends while the colors themselves help distinguish whats what . i stick to ambient lighting @ this point because im usually not sure what i want to do with the overall palette or lighting yet . having two tones (ex, dark and light in her hair or dark and light on her skin) can also help in identifying key features early on that u wanna preserve. as you build layer by layer, sometimes these areas will remain untouched and i think it makes for a rly lovely feel at the end

3. start blocking !!! to be totally honest with you, i dont really know what i do here HAHAHA. like i just scribble the shit out of it, usually focusing on what i might want to do with lighting (ex: grey areas to accentuate folds in her costume). i think i like to start "erasing" the sketch where possible by coloring on top of it .. like if you look at her hat or her arm , you can tell i'm starting to get a sense of the shapes i like vs the ones i dont. it's at this point that the final image starts to emerge in my mind , like im gradually pulling her from a tarpit of scribbles until shes recognizable lol. chipping away at the marble until i can free her. tbh.

4. keep blockingg...when u think u are done , block some more . as you can probably see, the brushwork becomes more intentional as i add more shape, with specific focus on line weight. this is also where the patchiness of that textured brush comes in - notice how none of the colors seem totally uniform (ex: the red cross or the original sketchlines for her waist). you can see bits and pieces of the layers underneath pushing through and i really like that !! ^__^ its very fun and sketchy to me, so i try to keep them around. those areas are also great to colorpick from, because it'll give you "new" colors to work w/ that are already part of your palette.

5. GRADIENTS & GRADIENT MAPS !! TONE CURVE !! COLOR PICKER !! this is the best stage tbh. flatten your image so its all on one layer and just go crazy with all the color settings in ur program. add gradient layers and set them to darken, or overlay, or subtract, orrr. lighten or dodge glow or divide or soft/hard light.! OR!! edit the hue, saturation, luminosity and contrast.and then color pick from these edits, block even more on top of ur image, flatten, color edit again, etc. etc. until u feel satisfied.

ANYWAYSS . i hope that makes sense @__@ sry i wrote this out and deleted it like 23 times trying to make it make More sense but thats what ive got HAHA i hope its useful though :3 !

[bk-179]

Introducing… time!Skater Cookie!

aight so anyone remember this post I made a while ago teasing a character? HERE HE IS!

(full body design of time!Skater) “What a boring timeline… I’m gonna go find someplace better!”

‘Meet time!Skater Cookie, an alternate timeline version of our beloved Skater Cookie! Originally set to follow Gingerbrave and friends in his timeline’s adventure, time altercations caused him to be trapped in the oven. When he passed out from the heat, instead of being eaten by the witch, he found himself laying in the fabrics of time as courtesy of a certain TBD director. After a long while of life under the curious time cookie, the spunky time!Skater Cookie effortlessly skates through timelines with his elusive candy board time scissors. Many TBD employees are warned about the shenanigans of this eccentric boarder!’

(time!Skater’s Candy Board Time Scissors, a hybrid of canon Skater Cookie’s skateboard and Timekeeper Cookie’s Sonic Embroiderer.)

Headcanons/fun facts + notes below cut!

time!Skater is the Skater Cookie from the post season 6 story mode universe. As stated in his fake description, this Skater Cookie never met gingerbrave and friends, instead being raised in the space-time continuum by Timekeeper.

I used “raised” pretty lightly. I love Timekeeper but bro is NOT fit to be a parent imo 💀💀💀 I feel like they did the thing mums do where they throw an iPad at their kid instead of raising them but instead of an iPad it’s a time scissor Yk what I’m saying? Also Tk is an insane god idk how they thought parenting was a good idea

as a result of this, my man has issues. He needs a hug

anyways 😜😜😜

prime!Skater (what I’ll be calling the normal pre-6/my universe’s skater) is around 12-13, and time!Skater is vaguely 15-16.

time!Skater is surprising tall. Probably around 5’10. He’s one of those teens that went from “small :)” to “TALL 🤯🤯🤯” during puberty; he sprouted up like a fucking weed somehow despite having horrible nutrition as a teen with nearly unlimited time power and no bedtime. He drinks monster energy from twizzly gummy’s world and eats from the abandoned vending machines in cookie wars’ timeline

Like prime!Skater, time!Skater’s eyes are very sensitive to light (bright lighting is overstimulating and painful due to this) so they’re always covered by the hair + hat

this Skater takes after his parent. Namely, he is a bastard lmao. He’s much less soft than his canon counterpart, and definitely on his way to becoming a mini tk without outside intervention. He travels to cookie Pompeii to skate alongside the volcanoes

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

my bastard son. I love him

some design notes:

for those who were my mutual in 2021 when I was a edit+hc request blog, you may remember time!Skater actually. shoutout @foggymud cuz they developed the idea with me and it was really fun! He used to look like this:

(A sprite edit ver of the design I was going for)

(And a drawing of what I had in mind from ALMOST 3 YEARS AGO⁉️)

After getting back into cr 2 years after loosing interest, I wanted to develop time!Skater using the og concept and cleaning up the design.

I would come to forego the pink icing hair. I really like pink and liked his hair, but in practice, it didn’t fit at all with the modern design. It was too jarring and out of place, so for my modern skater renditions I give him brown hair.

The og time!skater also wasn’t older than prime!skater, evidenced by his youthful appearance+usage of the canon sprites as a base. I decided to age up the modern incarnation of the character for both character and design motives; I wanted to portray a sharper, more weathered cookie while still keeping the youthful air that prime has. Making him a preteen felt like a waste and making him a young adult felt wrong character-wise, so a vaguely teenaged skater felt best.

speaking of sharpness, I incorporated real shape language and balance into this modern Time’s design. (for simplicity, I’ll refer to time!Skater as Time, and the regular/pre-6 timeline Skater as Prime.) I used a balance strategy of “thin center with large, flashy sleeves and pants”, where the og design had the large sleeves + tucked-in shirt and it ended up feeling too middle-heavy. I also added some sharper points to Time this time around to balance out all the round and give a slightly more “edgy” appearance I suppose?

Big pants :)

I liked the old Time design’s outfit ok, aside from the aforementioned issues, but it felt a tad bit unoriginal. I wanted to keep the essence of the old design, but also incorporate more interesting colors and thought-out shapes.

The use of CookieRun’s signature time-coded gold was one major thing I wanted this time around, adding little splashes of it in the hair and outfit. Trying to show both Prime’s essence and the affects time has had on Time’s personality.

the eyes are different too! in the og design they were this weird multi-color gummy colors? It had the same issue as the pink hair; too clash-y imo. So modern Time’s are a cryptic yellow sclera with blue pupil (if you saw the teaser post Yk what I’m talking abt).

and uhhh yeah‼️‼️‼️ if u read this far TYSM! I’m very autistic about him

[scammydoesstuff]

heya, I saw your post and I'm really sorry you had a disappointing experience with Neil; I get that BG3 and Astarion shot him to fame but there's still a lot of fans around for his older roles actively posting fics and art (karl, nikolai ginoviev, kamsi etc), so it's not a dead fandom by any means. Village isn't an 'old' game either (it's only 3 years old??) and anyone who says so is wrong imo. I hope your week gets better~

Thank you for the kind words.

I've been mostly spending the last week recovering from being sick and drawing to get out the negative feelings while also trying to rationalize a lot of that interaction.

Honestly, I didn't want to make that post super long, so I didn't go in-depth with all of it for the sake of brevity (because I tend to over explain and get to be very long winded - as you're about to see). I do want to insist that I don't necessarily blame Neil for it being negative. I'm sure it was mostly on me and I'm also sure I was overreacting. Drawing that was just my way of getting out some of those negative feelings instead of spiraling.

So, in regards to the convention: we wound up waiting basically 2 days to even meet Neil. Not...because we wanted to, mind. His line was crazy long every day and it wasn't uncommon to see people sitting down in his line, usually waiting for him to come back from a panel or a photo op. All the lines were moving slow all weekend, though. Not just his. That was one of my biggest issues with the convention as a whole and a critique genuinely unique to this one since the last Fan Expo I went to wasn't nearly that bad.

Our weekend was unfortunately pretty booked as well, so we couldn't wait all day and, after being in his line for nearly 3 hours that morning and barely moving, we had to leave for a lunch reservation with some friends who could only be there for one day after he left for a panel, cutting the line off. They did give out little numbers to anyone who'd been waiting up until that point to hop back into line later that day, however, if we had somewhere to be.

Due to short staffing at the restaurant, lunch also ran long and we didn't end up getting back until about an hour before the convention hall was set to close. We ran to Neil's line where they were cutting it off and, I'm super ashamed to admit, I let my boyfriend lie our way back into line (he told them we were leaving that night instead of staying the full 3 days we'd paid for, which coerced them to let us enter the line anyway) and spent the rest of the wait feeling guilty and really tempted to leave despite knowing on some level that this would likely be our last chance for the weekend. That's still on me. I could've said no and just left and not been a total piece of shit, but I didn't. Granted, other people got in line after us, so they weren't being that strict about it anyway, but I digress.

Regardless, we were already pushing it and I know that and I regret it. When we get to the front, I already wanted to keep things brief; get an autograph if I could, but mostly show him the Heisenberg plushie I'd made not long after the game came out.

(this is the plushie, btw. He took months to complete because he's entirely hand sewn - with the face being hand-embroidered - and was a major comfort project because of a lot of things going on in my personal life at the time that were causing me major stress. I've been hoping Neil would come to a con close enough for us to travel to at least so I could show him and this weekend was finally the opportunity I was waiting on).

So, we get to the front of the line and I see that he doesn't have any Village prints. Frankly, outside of Astarion, he doesn't have any other character prints except for one, which was a general Resident Evil group kinda thing with all the Resident Evil characters he'd done. There might've been one other, but I don't think it was for a character? It might've just been a headshot, but I could be wrong. I just know it wasn't Heisenberg-related, so I do not remember it clearly.

I was disappointed, but I decided to get the Resident Evil print anyway. I was initially going to have him sign a trench coat I'd made while working on the plushie. It was kinda practice to learn how to make the coat for that project and now it's just...my Heisenberg coat that I wear in winter. It's very warm. But I never ended up showing it to him after we finally get in front of him because the guilt was just too much.

So we start off and I was trying to be jokey and playful as I said 'I'm kinda disappointed you didn't have any Heisenberg prints' while showing him the plushie, but I can definitely see how, regardless of the tone I was trying to use, didn't come across right. So maybe *I* came off as rude instead despite trying to just...start a conversation about how I really liked Heisenberg? Totally possible. I'm not denying that.

And that's when Neil said that they don't bring prints along for Heisenberg anymore. That Village is an older game, so they don't get a lot of requests for it anyway and thus they save space when traveling. More disappointing. I started feeling worse because I could tell he was tired. It was the longest day for the exhibition hall to be open and he was still going even after everyone else was closing. He did arrive an hour after the hall opened, but it was still a long day, I know. I felt guilty and shitty, but, once he was done signing, I could properly show off the plushie - including the little cigars I'd made that he can hold cuz he has magnets in his hands. Maybe that would make him smile and lift his mood, y'know? So I was excited for his reaction and...

Nothing. Maybe a little laugh in that 'oh, that's cute' kinda way. He kinda did the voice when he saw it, but not really. I just...felt myself sink. I felt so embarrassed to have been so excited for this. My boyfriend asked if he could get a picture of Neil holding it and he did, but I was just...done. I wanted to leave because I realized that this was a mistake. It was late, he was tired, and this character doesn't mean much anymore because it's an older game that's been well overshadowed by Baldur's Gate III.

We wrapped up and left and that was it. I couldn't bring myself to say anything about how much Heisenberg meant to me as a character. I couldn't make myself show off the things about the plushie I was so proud of. I just wanted to leave because I felt like such a leech and that I shouldn't have done this.

I'm not dismissing the way I handled all of this. Looking back, I blame myself for my own bad time and I definitely blame myself for that interaction being as bad as it was. Neil was tired and, to a degree, he's right; it's not the new game that everyone's obsessed with right now. I shouldn't take it personally.

But it's easy to say that. It's so much harder to actually follow through with it. I couldn't help but feel upset because everyone else in line who'd seen the plushie would get excited to see it. Even the event manager who was hanging around at the end of the day told me I should sell them. Hell, back in April of this year, I even got to meet Maggie Robertson, who happened to be going to Fan Expo Cleveland (I live in Ohio, so less travel for that one). I thought it'd make her laugh (cuz, y'know, the size difference is accurate, right?) and, despite acting offended that I'd even bring him before her at all, she was still excited to talk about it and seemed to enjoy engaging with it. She was delightful and clearly still loves her character and that game, which made the contrast of meeting Neil so much more striking and...kinda hurtful...

So yeah...Sorry. That's a whole lotta words for 'I'm surely the reason it was so bad', but ye...Kinda got me out of an art funk, I guess. So that's something...maybe...

[thecactifindahome]

Oh, I didn't know about that, I've seen maybe two or three group interviews that had Rolin in it and it still was mostly the actors talking. And since they were talking about IWTV (the last on my reading list), I couldn't really think much. I did feel like all the characters were well-written so far, but the loumand romance was cute for 2 seconds and then it went South super quick. I assumed it was the case on IWTV, so I was a bit frustrated, but didn't complain. Now that I'm reading the books I might have different feelings about it... I'll keep that in mind and not trust so blindly then. But hopefully with all the collaboration with the writers and actors, it will fulfilling. Maybe Rolin is just weird at interviews. But it's good to low expectations a bit, I guess. And YUP about the dishonest comments... It's funny because it comes from the same people saying human morals don't apply to them and they're all monsters, readers should accept that, but then they draw the line of someone loving more than one person? And I'm not even necessarily talking about romantic love (but that too, the idea of vampires being limited by monogamy is ridiculous to me), but love as a whole. They feel love, affection and care for more than just one person. In fact, I believe a lot of their struggle on both show and books is having such a small circle and trying to make one or two people a lover, friend, mentor, therapist and parental figure. You need more people in your life, specially if you live forever, c'mon. 😅 And the love for multiple people and blurred lines are there since the beginning imo, even if they didn't try it. But on Merrick the polycule vibes were totally there for me. And Pandora was so charismatic! It was a great surprise because I don't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't that. I loved Flavius too, even if he wasn't as big. In a way she kind of reminded me of Lestat because she was so vibrant. And I swear I'm not trying to label everyone as autistic, but her lack of filter felt like autism. Reminded me of Armand too in that sense, though Armand is type to tell hard truths with no easing into it or read people for filth while Pandora just hits on people. 😅 there's so much neurodivergent coding on these books, it's crazy. Anyway, I'm still pretty early into B&G, only on chapter 4, but I'm interested in finding more about them all. Also Maharet probably returns? I'm excited to see her again.

The idea that Louis kissing Armand in front of Lestat is the show's version of Armand pushing Lestat off a building is just insane to me 😭 Those are two WILDLY different actions that happen for WILDLY different reasons, and Louis didn't even know about it! If one is their version of the other, I'm bracing myself for Devil's Minion to be Daniel and Sam Barclay joining an ultimate Frisbee league, and also Louis is there for some reason.

And yeah, exactly, that's a great way of putting it - they keep trying to make others fulfill more emotional needs than one person can provide because they just don't have a deep social bench! And their relationships just can't endure that constant pressure forever, especially among such volatile personalities. Taking breaks is better than setting your husband on fire, why on earth is setting him on fire preferable to boning David or Merrick or Armand for a few years?

Pandora is such an icon in her own book. If I moved to a new town and on my first day out I did clown makeup and accidentally walked around in transparent clothes, I too would do whatever it took to become a loathsome creature of the night and never go out in daylight again. Problem causer, problem solver.

Maharet shows up at the end of B&G, but you don't really find out what's going on with her until PL.

[coconuttz]

pov: you’re a (fashion) student without a support system ♡

ik it can be daunting to build a support system when you have no one... especially when you’re surrounded by a sea of creativity and talent and a culture of pride in doing everything alone (ifyky, no shade); but don’t fret, because I’m here to share how to build that support network from the ground up, just like I had to do. it can be overwhelming asf but it’s totally possible! here are some strategies (this is what i did in the midst of a massive depressive episode) ☺️✨

listen linda, i was a social butterfly. i say this because when i'm depressed i retreat if i can find an escape. we live in a day and age where your whole life can be remote/digital if you want it to be (thx to a remote job, online school, zoom calls with friends if u even see them). imo it can be a sustainable lifestyle for a suprisingly long time... till it's not. i digress.

it’s okay to start alone. being a lone wolf gives you the freedom to explore your style and interests without the influence of others. it can be lonely, sure, but i can be freeing. in my vulnerable moments where i felt alone but was authentic, i attracted ppl who mean the world to me today. so know being alone is temporary. or at least, try to tell your brain that. better yet, don't try; tell yourself this every day:

♡ My authenticity will draw in those who appreciate me for who I truly am.

♡ I am enough, even when I am alone.

♡ In my own space, I can discover who I am without distractions.

♡ I am resilient; I can navigate through the quiet moments.

♡ I attract the right people into my life.

♡ Even in solitude, I have the strength to thrive and emerge stronger.

♡ My alone time is sacred and necessary.

♡ I believe in my ability to build a supportive community.

♡ I give myself permission to feel and to heal.

Each phase of life has its purpose, and I trust that my time will come.

♡ tip #1: touch grass later. for now, get online. find other fashion students who *inspire* you. whose values align with theirs and their content makes you feel good. don't follow people just because they work in fashion-- look for peers, who are studying as well. peers are so important to have through every stage of life <3 follow fashion students and i recommend actual professionals who inspire you. not fashion influencers necessarily, but people who work in fashion professionally, maybe they're a designer or art direct or magazine editor. these folks to to have content that's inspiring and motivating! survey for yourself, you have to be careful what you feed your brain without even realizing it! anyways, engaging with their content in meaningful ways can lead to conversations, friendships, ++ even mentorships. don’t be shy about reaching out when/if you're ready. if you don't want to, thats ok too!

♡ tip #2: most fashion programs offer various resources like internship apps and networks (like a school handshake!) or apprenticeshhip, workstudy, study abroad etc. programs or workshops! follow your school on social media, they usually will have "career service" pages with rly great resources, and updates about networking events, etc. don’t hesitate to ask your professors for recommendations or support; they want you to do well! even if it feels awkward at first, getting involved in school activities is a great way to meet fellow students and form connections.

♡ tip #3: if you’re feeling brave, team up with fellow students for projects or study sessions. you can share ideas, critique each other’s work, collab on a pinterest board (lol) or just vent about a new yt video analysis video that xyz put up. plus, who doesn’t love a little fashion school brainstorming with (new) friends over coffee? speaking of, i'm gonna go make coffee. i have a problem. when i hear it, or even see this emoji ---> ☕️ i want one. brb.

ok, i'm out of coffee :( i made tea instead. but i still smell coffee. can anyone relate ??

♡ tip #4: if you're hesitant about reaching out directly, you can create opportunities for others with your shared interests to come to you. how? by sharing your own experiences and projects. you can post your work in communities like behance or github (to decide, to research on your industry, your niche, etc. and pick what works best for you! educate yourself in what's the latest in the industry, what's popular, make a pros and cons list. like actually take time to decide if u can! that way you don't have to migrate everything over to another platform later.

ok so for example, if you’re working on a design project, that could mean taking a course, or attending a fashion event, or you could share a post about it. one tip that's often used in marketing in general is to include a reflection or question that invites others to comment such as:

"Just wrapped up my latest fashion design project using 3D modeling software! Has anyone else tried CLO 3D? I’d love to hear your thoughts on digital fashion design!"

open ended questions like this when you share your work, an opinion, blog post, etc.makes it easier for others in the industry to connect with you and offer advice without you needing to initiate.

these are just a few tips for building a support system of you're shy, don't know where to start, are taking classes online and have a hard time meeting ppl, are depressed and everything's hard in general, etc. <3 keep your head up

till next time. my tea is ready.

[fancyfade]

What are your thoughts on Batman: Black Mirror? I have a bit of a love-hate relationship with that story mostly because I adore its characterisation of Dick and how the story depicts legacy and history, but Synder's ableism is so apparent.

If it's alright for me to share my two cents: I enjoy that a lot of the arc (particularly the first 3 issues) revolves around the theme of "history repeating; first as tragedy, then as farce" which was typical for Bat titles of the time. The Dealer and James Jr. trying to intellectualise "might is right" despite resorting to same old greed-fuelled murder. Dick Grayson coming into his own as a not-Bruce-Wayne Batman, who's standing on the shoulders of giants and reckoning with the ghost of the Batman's (and his) past. Barbara and Jim Gordon having to deal with Jim's biggest mistakes of all in the form of James Jr resurfacing. I also loved Dick and Babs' moments and their relationship draws on this theme: they have so much history together, they loved each other, they get each other like no one else does, they've been there from almost the beginning, they've been allies, partners, friends, lovers, exes, fiancés, and now they're something pretty un-labellable if you ask me. (Thesis-antithesis-synthesis in a sense :P)

But shit. The ableism is problematic. I think it's two main things, though I might be missing something. First is Dick's nightmare vision where his worst fear is him losing his legs. And second is James Jr being written as a "psychopath" as oppose to, I dunno, the literal embodiment of toxic masculinity (fucking wasted opportunity) to be a foil to our favourite flamboyant, pun-slinging, back-flipping, hoping-inspiring boy scout Dick Grayson.

What do you think of this arc?

I’ll confess that I am the odd one out in that I just. Do not get the appeal of black mirror. Even excluding the ableism (and it is VERY ableist). Like people say it’s great Dick characterization, and it’s fine, but it’s not like it stands out especially among other comics of the time IMO.

Like, Dick and Babs’s moments in this comic are not notable for me, because she is reduced and written as lesser to make her someone Dick has to protect, she is damselled and written as less competent – hwo does James get past her security so effortlessly? Why does she not finish him off when she has the advantage after beating him up initially? Like the whole reason I like Dick and Babs’ dynamic is because they are written as equals in the initial version of their relationship, Black Mirror just made it a stereotypical ‘scared woman (b/c she is treated as scared of James, even tho she does try to break out), strong man saves her’ thing. James Jr would not be a threat to Babs in her own solo title. That means I think it fails in being respectful of the depiction of her history, so I would say that Snyder does not succeed there.

I also would disagree that we see Babs and Jim having to deal with Jim’s greatest mistake, when like I said Babs doesn’t really do much.

I do agree that they had a lot of opportunity to parallel James and Dick as toxic masculinity vs healthy masculinity, but it’s wasn’t the authorial intention at all, so I don’t give it any credit for that. The authorial intention was “Good, neurotypical dick* vs Evil, neurodivergent James”. I would honestly consider the way they diminished Babs capabilities to prop Dick up more ableism in the story as well, in addition to sexism.

I think that critique of the Might is Right mindset is done much better in many 80s/90s Batman comics, including Batman: Venom. The text was much more overt there, and less hidden behind ableism.

Anyway, so sorry :P but basically Batman: Black Mirror is one of those “everyone talks it up” but I’m just like the *insert her GIF*. It’s a pretty stereotypical batman story. In terms of Dickbats stories, I consider it one of the more mid ones. I genuinely don’t know how it is so popular :P

*ignoring headcanons or readings of earlier texts…. The way Snyder writes him is intended to be read as neurotypical

[moralesmilesanhour]

how did u teach ur self to draw ? i’ve been tryin for years and for some reason i just can’t get the hang of it

any pointers?

Hm. Okay, before I get into any advice imma provide some background:

- I've been drawing (with the intention to improve) since I was about 6, so since elementary school. Yes my memory goes back that far don't say nun 😭

- My mom studied fashion design and was always drawing around me so I had access to all her books and supplies and stuff! Fun times

- this means that I had A LOT of time on my hands to practice and get better at drawing

Alright! So! If I could pinpoint some of the things that helped me improve the most, it would be YouTube tutorials. I started off w those "how to draw manga" videos? Like I used to watch Mark Crilley DOWN I wanted to draw like that so bad.

Then eventually I started watching more tuts about actual technique (anatomy, perspective, shading) and I think that's where the improvement REALLY got started imo. I'd suggest covering the fundamentals instead of "how to draw" videos because you'd just be learning to imitate someone else's art style without understanding the reasoning behind what's being done, and I assume you want to do more than that.

Speaking of style...follow artists with a variety of styles that work in a variety of mediums! I love my pencil sketching, but I also do digital and used to paint with watercolor a lot. Sometimes knowledge from one will bleed into how you approach another medium, which is great for getting fresh new perspectives!

Art channels/artists that I watch a lot:

-Proko

-Chris Hong Art

-Victoria Gedvillas

-Marco Brucci

-Likelihood Art

Another thing: be nice to yourself! Drawing while frustrated with yourself is not fun it sucks ass do not do that! If something isn't coming out right, step back and reassess your approach, or ask for feedback from others if you have access to other artists.

Understand what your goal is for a particular drawing session. (sometimes you might be doing studies or anatomy, other days might be character art, or maybe you just wanna doodle whatever!) The older I get, the more I realize that multitasking for any art form usually makes things more frustrating. So I don't do that anymore.

And lastly...you might wanna determine what kind of artist you wanna be. I have chosen to be more of a hobby artist, so I'm not gonna be learning things as in-depth as someone who plans on working at Pixar Animation Studios. You will be more focused in your learning this way.

Anyways, that's it! Everything in between that I didn't cover you will probably figure out yourself sjfjdk but if you have any more specific questions feel free to shoot me an ask! Good luck fren 🫶🏾

[hopeswriting]

ok so i was just reading your tags on a post talking about skull/reborn and i kinda wanna know how you think their relationship would work or the kinda writing you trust for them? (i kinda wanna write my own skull/reborn fic lol but wanna keep them in character while doing so)

hi, thank you for the ask!

okay so, i’ve only written this ship substantially like twice myself lol (tho i’m not unfamiliar with writing their dynamic as i’ve written my fair share of poly!arco fics), so i wouldn’t call myself a specialist of them, but i do like to think i have a good grasp on both their characters. and my issue is that fanon doesn’t often get them right in and of themselves to begin with, and so of course when writing them together/about their dynamic, it inevitably gets them wrong. (imo anyway, and here’s the disclaimer that this is all of course only my personal opinion, which everyone is welcome to discuss!)

i don’t think it’s on the fans tho! the way i see it they’re canonically kinda tricky to pin down to begin with, both individually and together. reborn is because even if he’s the co-protagonist, he’s all about being the one in control, the one remaining steady and unfazed no matter what, and the anchor and guiding force of tsuna’s, and by proxy of most of everything that happens in the manga too. which means it’s easy to reduce him to that know-it-all, perfect-at everything, better-than-everyone-else god-like figure, and to overlook the other facets of his personality that nuance that side of him (because i do think that god-like writing he’s often given is definitely in character for him to some extent, don’t get me wrong), because in comparison they appear a lot less often throughout the manga. and even if you do take them into account, it’s hard to pin down when and how and how much reborn allows those other aspects of himself to come out.

skull’s tricky simply because we got very little about him, making him almost a blank canvas, so it’s easier to just make that canvas into whatever we need it to be, while overlooking or disregarding the little we did get about him. and when you do try to take it into account, we got so little about him it’s hard to extrapolate on it to a substantial extent, or draw a pattern between them to get an idea of what being “in character” would even mean for him.

meanwhile when you write them together, i think their dynamic is actually less tricky and just plainly misunderstood. like we can all agree they’re canonically on bad terms, or that there’s beef between them at the very least, canon makes it pretty clear. it’s also pretty easy to guess why that is, but where most people lose me is on the how it all comes together to them having the dynamic they have in canon. and basically, not only there's no actual hate or animosity between them, i think more importantly there’s no disrespect between them or any intention to hurt.

now the last two ones were mostly about reborn, because no matter how he may (purposefully) act or what he may say, if you look closely it’s clear he actually doesn’t question skull’s place among the arco, nor does he question the fact he has the skills to back it up, even if, yes, he’s simultaneously aware skull is the weakest of them, and uses that fact to make fun of him and shape the way he acts with him. he does only make fun of him tho, because reborn’s intention is never to actually hurt him or be cruel with him or look down on him, etc, etc. he only ever means to tease.

which doesn’t mean skull still isn’t hurt by the way he acts with him or doesn’t resent him for it, because he very much is and does. but i don’t think it’s the kind of hurt depicted in most fics that’d make him leave the arco or other such extreme reactions or show of rejection. because yes there’s no actual hate or animosity between them, but also more importantly there’s comradeship between them, just as there is between the other arco, whatever you think comradeship means here. reborn and skull do care about each other.

so like, it’s all about boundaries, instead of them taking an issue with each other’s personality the way it’s often made to be in fics. because being both aware of the other’s background (reborn being mafia to his core and skull being a former civilian), they both get and understand and respect where the other comes from being the way they are, that’s not the issue between them. but then reborn thinks he was able to infer all on his own where skull’s boundaries are, and thinks they both tacitly met each other in the middle, but meanwhile instead of skull assuming he just doesn’t know better and correcting him about it, he assumes reborn does it on purpose because he doesn’t acknowledge him. and this is where it gets super funny because they apparently never got the opportunity to clear that one misunderstanding between them for, like, decades lmao. like, by the time the manga ends they’re still misunderstanding each other, and still aren’t even aware of it to be able to do anything about it. 😭😂😂

not sure if that was all very clear? but if it wasn’t, i actually already got the opportunity to talk about this in this reblog chain about fanon!reborn where we also got to talk about his dynamic with skull! here’s another one about his dynamic with skull, and this one adds onto why i think fanon!reborn isn’t, in fact, in character for canon!reborn. and because this is also relevant and helps to get the full picture of where i’m coming from with this post, here’s my thoughts on skull and how to write him in character.

so to answer your question, i personally think that for their relationship to work, they both need to first realize they started on the wrong foot and have yet to do anything about it, while in the meantime still making them care about each other. that is, only in the cases where you want them to be on better terms with each other of course. as far as just writing their dynamic as it is in canon, you just need to write the strains in their relationship not because they don’t like each other or anything of the sort, but because they’re wrongly assuming the wrong things about each other.

and likewise for the type of writing i trust with them. for me it has to be one that takes care to keep the balance between all those different aspects of their dynamic, and how their respective personality affects it too one way or another. it has to keep the balance between “hey, i do care about you and i’ve literally no intention to hurt you, never had” and “hey, you’re still very much hurting me, and i’m hurt even more because you don’t seem to care about it even when i’m repeatedly telling you you are hurting me??” and “i hear you but also not because this is one of those times my high self-esteem is backfiring against me, and so i’m not even considering the thought i might be wrong about how i’m definitely not crossing your boundaries” and “yeah, this sure is one of those times you being among the best of the best backfires against you, because i’m not even considering the thought you’re not purposefully going out of your way to hurt me, and aren’t well aware you are hurting me”.

and when i say their personalities also affect their dynamic, it’s how you also need to keep the balance between “you’re a former civilian, so of course you react and are affected more strongly to the way i am, but that doesn’t mean you’re still not aware i mean no harm like everyone else” and “you’re mafia to your core, so of course you don’t care to treat me any less roughly/violently than you usually treat people, even knowing i’m a former civilian because you’re likely looking down on me for it” and “from my mafia’s pov i’m definitely meeting you in the middle here, what do you mean you want me to try harder??” and “from my former civilian’s pov this doesn’t look like the middle at all, and wow, you really don’t care about how hard i’m already trying to be up to your standards, huh?”.

and this is where i think it’s tricky to get their dynamic right, because the thing is those assumptions they make about each other are all based on true facts they know for a fact about each other. reborn is mafia to his core and presumably has been all his life, while skull is a former civilian and became mafia only later in his life when he was chosen to be an arco. but instead of them putting both these facts together and going “okay well, there’s no way meeting each other in the middle would mean the same thing for the both of us, and there’s no way we can just accurately guess what it means for the other without explicitly talking about it, so let’s do that first things first”, we got all of the above instead.

also one last thing tho you might not need it, but even in what i call the good timeline arco fics where they start on the right foot right away, this is still worth keeping in mind. not all of it of course, but reborn being mafia while having the personality he has, and skull being a former civilian while having the personality he has will always shape their dynamic no matter what. the same way it’d shape skull’s dynamic with any other character that wasn’t a former civilian too of course, the other arco namely come to mind, but we’re talking about reborn here, you know lol. and not only that, but i think reborn in particular is really the perfect example of this.

hope this helped, and good luck with your fic!

[giuliano-fan-account]

happy pride mont

Well I guess I could share some drawings since usually I just dogpile everything I want to say into 1 post and don’t necessarily have room for the art which is sad.

So I decided for pride month I’ll just dogpile some of my art that I haven’t shown here relating to my favorites from hxh kind of being like those 60 color packs of crayons.

I draw kind of like a crazy guy and I have a fair bit of art so I’ll make a cut off line to not clog...

Btw so I dont jumpscare you the art is of Izunavi and Giuliano, Shalnark and Chrollo, & Muherr and hehe a not canon character (In that order)

Hehe i just have some portraits of Izu for fun here not necessarily ship or anything related but I just wanted to share them Since I made them a while ago and he looks very nice:

Ok but it gets a little gay here so urm: Happy pride moth:

I made this one because I wanted them to have a happy life that I knew they could never have!!!!!!

I made this one because THEY BOTH LOOKED SO GOOFY IN THAT ONE PANEL THAT I HAD TO REMAKE IT I COULDNT DO IT

just a funny little drawing for fun that I stayed up a little too late making 1 time because these guys just kind of carry me away..

On valentines day I was having a rlly bad time a really bad day and everything and then I made these guys and everything was better 

MS PAINT BRO

I made this one in ms paint and it makes me so happy man... I have it as my background screen on my computer rn i didn’t intend for this drawing to bang so hard but also I kind of drew it intending for it to be like the only house that’s not on fire yet because that’s a song that’s perfect for these guys hear me out

I made that one at like 2 am and yes it was to this song and to me it is objectively about these guys

I guess it could be a projection bc i just wanted to squeeze that guy bc hes just so funny and silly and I love these guys and giuliano is just like me for real so it’s fine 

I care about them a lot man I even made an article on the shipping wiki for them because I uhhh I uh help I urm

I have... another one that I ALSO made an article for... and it brings me extreme distress as well as extreme joy

we have our 2nd place to Shalkuro :100:

I have a lot of art for it I’ll make a post for it one day I swear and it will be insane in length because I really need help man ... If izugiuli is my comfort ship this is the REASON why I need comfort

proceeds to show harmless nice little drawings:

I saw that trend everywhere so this is a rlly recent drawing but I made them with the barbie and ken because I... well come on... its literally perfect okay

gooberish little drawing because i was bored

THIS WAS A REDRAW OF A GOOFY GARTIC PHONE DRAWING MY FRIEND MADE SO THATS WHY IT LOOKS KIND OF STRANGE I tried my best to replicate the essence

shalkuro as teens ig comfort (I relentlessly got called gay for this one Stop jules bullying 2023) 

Im a little crazy so maybe I did make another omori hxh au and a lot of it is Shalnark in the au or Shalnark and Chrollo

Redraw of the sticker because hehe

THIS IS BASED OFF OF AN UNFINISHED FIC I HAVE thats not necessarily ship related but also is but also you can interpret it any way you want and imo it’s so cute

I’ll finish it one day.

Another ms paint art but it’s inspired off of bad apple for actually no reason other than that I think it would look cool and I went through 5 stages of hell trying to draw this but I made it out fine

God I want to talk so much about Shalkuro since Shalnark is ALSO just like me for real and I actually haven’t before on this account and it’s kind of my soundboard for talking abt whatever relating to hxh but I really think I should save it for a post of it’s own..

Anyways onto the next one its a little funny thing

I shipped my self insert with Muherr as a joke ok but now its kinda funny and I like it and I actually rlly like these drawings i made for it

dont ask why he looks drunk its a long story

I had to make this it was honestly too funny for me not too and I love it so much EXCEPT for the fact that I realized that my self insert looks so much like pariston in here

Im supposed to have dark hair but I just didnt feel like coloring it in there bc the lineart looked good enough to me

but yeah muherr x jules otp forever /j

hapy pride month whoever or whatever you are whether your gay or not!!!!

dont forget to have fun and be a kind neighborly person like me 

[infizero-draws]

dude your character posts (interpretations? opinions? analysis? i think) are honestly so so good ... also sorry 2 bring up desert duo in mid 2023 but there was this one post u made of them that i think got deleted but it was also a rlly good analysis of them i think.. like imo u have a rlly good understanding of relationships and point out that yea these ppl care abt each other but their relationship isn't gonna be so easily fixed by being like 'and then they declared their love for each other and get married 4ever and ever' like these ppl are messes! <- u worded it a lot better than i did but yeah!! ur brain is so massive.

also ur art is so cool + im so glad u seem to be having so much fun w deltarune! this message is all over the place sorry

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this means so much to me you have no idea. also you dont have to apologize for bringing up desertduo LOL i still regularly draw post and think about them all the time 👍

i think my understanding of relationships as being complex just comes from the fact that those are the types of dynamics i enjoy the most! and that im very adamant about characters always being flawed and there being no such thing as a "perfect relationship" bcuz thats BORING!!!

like move over fics i wrote and hcs i made as a kid engaging in fandom where all my ships resolve their problems perfectly thru therapy or whatnot and one of them confesses and then they go omg you like me, i like you too! and now we're dating! and everything is awesome and then we get married and maybe have kids NOOOOO GET THAT SHIT OUTTA HERE. nothing wrong w that of course but its sooooo boring. i like relationships that are messy and questionable and blur the lines between romantic and platonic and have a shit ton of baggage weighing over them. i dont like when things are simple RELATIONSHIPS ARE COMPLICATED!!

also me being aroace and never having been in a relationship probably has something to do with that. i dont get blindsided by love and wanting things to work out perfectly and projecting or whatever LOL.

anyways sorry i didnt mean to talk for so long im just very passionate about this. even if i cannot word it very well. but again thank you!!!!!!

(also i rarely delete posts, so if you wanna send me another ask giving details about that lost desertduo analysis i made that you're talking about, i can probably find it for you ^_^)

[fandom-madness69]

Chapter Two

MHA Aizawa FanFic

Shota Aizawa x Akane Saito (my oc)

7,989 words

I could literally never post this on any other social media (Wattpad and AO3 don't count IMO)

TW/CW again for mention of abuse and attempt at victim bl*ming by the victim herself (as always my tags will include TW and CW at the beginning so I don't have to add those words and risk bringing my posts down)

Tuesday morning Akane found herself on light duty tasks for work. She tried to insist to her supervisor, Miss Etsuko Yamaguchi, that she really didn’t need this kind of treatment, but the older woman had just smiled and shooed her away. Though Akane really didn’t mind. She didn’t even need her cart today. All she was responsible for today was puke patrol and lost student duty. Even though it had been a couple months since the new school year had brought in new students, but they still tended to get lost for another month or two. Especially with the dorm buildings having been added.

So, with low music playing in her headphones Akane wandered around the campus. All she had to do was radio someone else on the janitorial staff if a kid got sick and help any lost kids as much as they needed her to. Normally she would also have to have a cart to clean up the puke herself, but Miss Yamaguchi had told her to radio for someone else instead and gave her a walkie talkie which Akane had tucked in her hoodie pocket. Mother Nature had finally decided it was Winter and the Mid November temperatures had finally come crashing down on them this morning. Thankfully Akane could stay indoors for most of today, but she made sure to keep an eye on the nearest window every time she saw one in case a student was lost out there. The thick grey clouds blocking most of the sunlight today definitely meant snow. Even though the cold wasn’t the best weather she preferred the snow over everything else. So, the thought had Akane even more excited than she already was after the weekend with Shōta.

        Akane looked around the hallway she was in and realized she was less than thirty feet from the door to Class 1-A. Her heart fluttered again, and she felt her hair start to shrink inside the thick toke she had it tucked under. She wanted to go peak inside the little window, but she knew better because every kid in that classroom had an uncanny sense for when they were being watched even if only briefly. With a huffed sigh she continued her path forward which would lead her past the door anyway. It wasn’t unusual for janitorial and support staff to wander the hallways during the day so no one would bother her over walking by. She decided to risk at least glancing in when she walked by.

To her surprise Shōta was standing at the front of the classroom, free of the sleeping bag she had so often seen him in and teaching actively. She stopped to look at him for a second longer and as soon as she did his head turned to look at her. He held her gaze for a few seconds before flashing her a brief smile and turning back to his students. She figured it was best she hurried along before anyone in that room realized what had just happened. When she rounded the end of the hall and had made it to the next platform on the staircase Akane stopped and leaned against the stairwell wall. He had risked that smile knowing damn good and well all his students saw it. She was going to have to avoid his room the rest of the day, so she didn’t draw any more attention to herself.

It’s not that the two days he had spent taking care of her and helping her adjust to her quirk had been bad. In fact, they were wonderful. She just didn’t need the students doing what kids do and starting rumors. There was one point he had sent a student to check on her yesterday, but it had been Uraraka who was incredibly sweet and amazing with secrets as it turned out. She hadn’t even asked why her superhero teacher had asked her to check on this random janitor lady. She had just brought a few homemade cookies that she promised she already planned on giving away, she just didn’t know who because it was an extra few from the batch she made for her classmates, made sure Akane was okay and then left. She knew the only reason Shōta didn’t send a teacher the other two times during the hours he had been busy was, so he didn’t make her uncomfortable. Instead, a couple other members of the support staff had come to check on her and bring her food. When someone had knocked on her door the fourth time Akane was pleased to see Shōta himself with a big bag of take out in one hand and the sequel to the movie they had watched on Sunday in the other.

        After a few minutes of concentration Akane felt her hair return to the waist length she had set it to Sunday and then she pushed herself off the wall. When she made it to the next floor, she finally bumped into someone else. A lost kid by the looks of it. Halfway down the hallway stood a short and petite kid with sapphire blue hair. The kid turned around and Akane saw the worried expression on her face.

        “Hey there kiddo, you look a little lost. My name is Akane Saito, and I work here as a Janitor. Luckily for you I’m on lost kid duty today so how can I help,” she called out cheerfully to the girl whose eyes were starting to water. The girl’s head snapped up from the paper in her hands, her schedule presumably, and relief washed across her face.

“Oh, my goodness finally an adult who works here! I’m so lost and it’s so dumb because I’ve been here for two months, and I’ve gone to class 2-B many many times and yet here I am lost!” She sounded bewildered and a bit on edge. Akane let out a soft chuckle and smiled warmly at the girl.

        “Don’t worry it happens to everyone, well everyone without a good memory. Did you know having a photographic or eidetic memory used to be considered a superpower?” She was trying to keep things light so the girl wouldn’t have a full-blown freak out. She might be new here herself, newer than this student in fact, but she did have a photographic memory.

        “No, I had no idea. Would you mind leading me to my classroom please? I’m not sure my teacher is going to be too pleased,” the girl muttered and rubbed her neck as she looked at her shoes. Akane nodded and told the young girl she’d be happy to help before she turned around to head back in the direction she had just come from. The girl followed along beside her silently. Akane didn’t mind making casual conversations, but she also knew she was going to have to walk past Shōta’s classroom again and she didn’t wanna have to think about talking while walking past the man she loved.

The door to the girl’s classroom was left open by a crack. She thanked Akane and scurried inside. When Akane saw the teacher wasn’t scolding the girl she turned around to head back to where she was on her route. She would have to pass his room a third time. So much for staying away as not to draw attention to herself.

        As she hurried past his room a third time the door slid open. No fuck not now, Akane thought. She kept her eyes fixed out the many windows on her right and kept walking while silently praying whoever it was it was simply a coincidence. The door to his room closed and footsteps started behind her in the hallway. Akane picked up her pace and when she made it to the stairs, she felt a familiar sensation slide over her shoulder.

        “Listen I swear I’m not being creepy,” she started as she turned around, but the owner of this capture scarf wasn’t who she thought it was. Behind her stood a student. Hitoshi Shinso to be exact.

“I saw you pass by with the student the second time though I don’t think he did and then when you walked past the third time, I could see him messing with his scarf. He only does that when he’s worried. So, I excused myself to ‘go to the bathroom’ but really, I came to see if you were okay. He and I have a secret code that we use with our scarves, so I don’t have to talk since I have a brain washing quirk. Don’t worry it only activates if I ask you a question, so I won’t,” his voice was barely audible, but Akane knew why. She had seen him on TV during the Sports Festival last year, so she was familiar with how his Quirk worked though he didn’t know that.

        “You can signal to him that I’m okay I just needed to help that student. I’m on puke patrol and lost student duty so he doesn’t need to worry about me overdoing it today,” she explained. He nodded and tugged his scarf off her shoulder where it had still been resting.

        “I’ll let him know,” he mumbled before turning around and heading back to Class 1-A’s room. Once again Akane found herself leaning against the wall of the first platform going down from this floor in this stairwell. She really had to get out of the main building. She decided she could get some fresh air and hurried all the way back to the ground floor.

The rest of the day passed without incident. When Akane decided she wasn’t in the mood for dinner she headed straight for her room after telling Miss Yamaguchi that she was still feeling well. With the door closed to her room Akane pulled off all the layers she had been wearing save for one. She flopped face first onto her bed in nothing more than a pair of shorts and a sports bra. Her gloves of course had still been on since she replaced them Sunday after her shower. A light knock sounded at her door, and she groaned. She really was tired of people asking if she was okay. It was a simple shapeshifting quirk, it’s not like using her quirk shattered half her bones with one go. A light chuckle escaped over that roast. Whatever Midoryia’s Quirk was he clearly wasn’t built for it. She opened the door to see Shōta standing there and quickly closed it again remembering her outfit. She took a deep breath and cracked it open again.

        “Hi sorry didn’t mean to slam it in your face, I wasn’t expecting anyone to show up, so I’m not properly dressed,” she explained while her cheeks grew bright red.

        “That’s okay I just wanted to check on you. I know it’s probably getting a bit annoying, and I can leave you be if you’d like me to, but I wanted to check one more time before I let you decide if I should leave you alone or not,” he explained. He was wearing a few layers himself which made him look a little like a sleep deprived blob. Akane giggled at this thought.

        “It’s never annoying coming from you. And you can stop checking up on me but I’m totally fine if you keep popping by to hang out or whatever,” she said. He smiled that soft smile again and nodded.

“Well then may I come in and hang out for a bit? Once you’re properly dressed that is,” he asked. She nodded and left the door cracked to go pull on a shirt at random. Once she had on the loose grey shirt that covered her shorts most of the way, she opened the door the rest of the way. He walked inside and she shut it quickly but not before getting a devious look from a woman a couple of rooms down. Akane responded by sticking her tongue out at the woman before closing the door. She turned around to find him shedding layers and pulling out snacks along with it. When he finished a small pile of snacks sat on her only nightstand, a larger pile of his clothes lay on her floor, and he was in a white shirt and sweats. He really didn’t wear shorts, did he? He turned around to Akane and smiled when he saw her staring again. He chuckled and walked over to her leaving a couple feet of space between them.

        “You really do like to look at me don’t you Akane,” his voice was a bit thicker than normal, and his black eyes seemed to blaze even without his quirk activated. Akane’s face got redder as she nodded. “Well then it’s a good thing I really like to look at you too.” He lifted a hand as if to reach for her and then dropped it.

“Okay new rule. As long as it’s not kissing, touching my gloves or scars, or initiating anything lewd you don’t have to ask for my permission. It’ll help us both because as much as I find it sweet it tends to get in the way ya know,” Akane explained as she stayed standing there between Shōta and the door. He reached up and cupped her cheek in one hand. Akane’s heart thundered in her chest as he stepped a bit closer.

        “You’d want me to kiss you?” He sounded more happy than he did surprised.

        “Shō I’ve been dreaming of kissing you for years. I’d be able to die happy if you did,” she said before she could stop herself. Her face was hot with blush, and he stepped close enough that Akane could feel the warmth radiating from his body.

“Then may I kiss you,” he asked. Akane had to be dreaming. She pinched her cheek that he wasn’t holding, and he laughed. “You’re not dreaming I really asked.”

        “Then yes please,” she breathed. His face got closer and Akane’s eyes fluttered shut. His breath hit her face with warmth and the smell of mint. After a few seconds that seemed to drag out forever his lips were on hers. Soft, smooth, and warm. His hand slid into her long orange hair, and she wrapped an arm around his shoulders. His lips pressed into hers more and then a few seconds later they were gone from hers. She opened her eyes to find him still close to her. Close enough she could still feel and smell his breath on her face. She wanted more, so much more but she knew she couldn’t handle it right now. Not mentally anyway. He kissed her nose and then stepped back two steps.

        “That was everything I’d dreamed it would be and more,” she said breathlessly. His hand slid from her hair and found her hand.

       “And even though last night was the first time I’ve dreamt of kissing you it was just as wonderful for me,” he smiled as he tugged her over to her bed, “now let’s see what there is to watch while we have snack yeah?” She sat in her usual spot and this time he sat next to her instead of adjacent from her as he had been last night. Her lips still tasted like his and she couldn’t think enough to find the remote.

“You, okay?” His voice was sincere. She turned to him and smiled.

        “I am I just can’t think because my lips still taste like you and as much as I know neither of us want to rush anything, but I really want to kiss you again,” she explained. He reached up and cupped her cheek in his hand again.

        “Then by all means kiss me again if you’d like to,” he breathed out. She leaned up and closed the space between them as she shut her eyes. Her lips met his and his other arm looped around her middle back. He pulled her closer which deepened the kiss. She wrapped both arms around him and slowly parted her lips. His lips followed her lead, and she hesitantly slid her tongue into his mouth. A soft moan escaped her mouth and as if he was anticipating her retreat from embarrassment he let go. She pulled back enough that their noses were still touching. Akane went to say something, but Shōta held up a finger to her lips.

"Don't apologize like I know you're about to try to do, I'm never going to be upset by you stopping anything between us at any time," he whispered. Akane pulled back another few inches and spotted the remote buried under his pile of snacks on her nightstand.

"Then I'd like to just watch a movie and ask you to forget that noise you heard," she said as she leaned around him and pulled the remote from under the snacks before straightening back up. "I mean it'll be hard, but I'll try my best," he said honestly before he leaned back against the pillow, he had put between himself and the wall her bed was against. She turned the TV on and found that one of the movies that had been made about All Might was playing on TV.

"Okay this one's literally my favorite and I'm not apologizing so it stays on," she declared as she tossed the remote across the room in case he tried to object or change it. This made him laugh loudly. She turned to fixate him with a playful glare which caused him to stop laughing and return the look. After a few seconds of this stare down he reached behind him and sent one of the snack cakes flying at her. It hit Akane square in the chest and she gasped. He doubled over with laughter, and she threw the cake back at him. Even bent over his scarf snapped up and caught the sweet snack easily. She shuddered a bit and he looked up at her seriously.

"I can leave this on the floor with my other layers if you need me to, it's just like a second skin so I almost never remember to take it off," he offered. Akane shook her head.

"No, I'm okay that wasn't a bad shudder," she said shyly before turning to pretend to watch the movie. She saw Shōta straighten up in her peripheral vision with a smirk on his face.

"For someone who agrees we shouldn't rush this you seem to be having lots of dirty thoughts this evening," he teased. She snatched the snack cake from his scarf and tossed it at him again. This time he let it bounce off his chest.

"You're on my bed, in my room flirting with me after doting on me half the weekend. What more did you expect," she teased back. His smirk turned into a smile as he leaned back against the pillow again and opened the poor smooshed snack cake.

"Nothing actually," he said before stuffing half the thing into his mouth. Akane giggled and turned to watch the movie this time. She scooted a little further away but only so she could lay down with her head in his lap again, she had done this last night and could swear he didn’t stop smiling the whole time. He ran his fingers through her hair as they watched the movie together. She reached over once to grab a snack because she still really wasn't feeling too hungry. After a while Shōta's fingers in her hair started to soothe her to sleep.

"If you keep doing that, I'm going to fall asleep," she warned.

"And much like with the rules of a cat I wouldn't be allowed to move until you wake up or move off of me, whichever comes first," he teased but kept running his fingers through her hair.

"What if you're late for class tomorrow?" He just kept running his fingers through her hair. Her eyes started to flutter shut before he finally answered.

"Then I'd be late and if anything happened, I'd trust Shinso, Midoryia, and Ida to handle it. Now shush and sleep if you'd like to." She nodded and allowed his fingers in her hair to fully lull her to sleep. Akane's alarm went off at 5 am like it always did and she reached over to turn it off. The noise stopped before her hand reached it and she realized Shōta must have stayed here. She opened her eyes to see she was lying halfway on him.

"Five more minutes," grumbled and pulled her closer. Her heart fluttered and she giggled.

"Okay but then we have to get up," she whispered. He nodded once and then went back to breathing evenly. Her alarm went off again ten minutes later and he smacked the snooze button again.

"Okay okay fine I'll get up," he grumbled again. He opened his eyes which were blazing red and Akane felt her hair shrinking in length. A soft growl came up from his chest and he blinked, turning his eyes back to their usual black. Her hair tickled her back through her shirt as it grew back out to her waist. "Though with a view like this I'm not sure why I'm complaining." Akane giggled and blushed as he cupped her cheek.

"Mmmmmm I'd say you could get used to it but I think we'd be breaking our 'taking it slow rule' by waking up in each other's arms every morning after only three days," she said as she sat up and looked down at him.

"True that we would be, but also it's much easier to wake up in the morning when the view is so nice," he smiled at her as he sat up. At some point during the night, he had lost his shirt and Akane quickly looked away. Though not before she got an eye full of toned muscles. Her face was bright red, and she knew it.

"You should probably put your shirt on," she whispered.

"Do you want me to?" His voice was still thick with sleep and Akane could feel her spine tingling.

"No but that might also be breaking our rule," she said a bit louder.

"It's up to you Akane, as is everything we do," he said. She turned back to look at him and bit her lip. He really was incredibly sexy no matter what. His abs were perfectly cut into an eight pack. His pecs were toned just right for his lean frame. His arms, though seemingly small, nearly doubled in size when he flexed them for her appreciation. Her ears were red now and when she looked up at his face so we're his cheeks.

"Please don't dangle me over a bridge when I say this, but you really are beautiful," she breathed. His face got dark, and she yelped. She went to scramble out of the bed, but his arms were around her waist and pulling her into him before she ever made it to the edge.

"Take it back. Right. Now." He growled in her ear. His chest was pressed to her back and was radiating warmth.

"Are you going to let me go if I do?" She was teasing but she wasn't sure he heard her tone. He really didn't like being complimented, did he?

"Yes, I will," he breathed in her ear. "Then nope. You're beautiful, sexy, and all around incredibly fucking hot Zawa," she tossed in the nickname for extra effect.

"Oh, you're in for it now," he growled in her ear again which made her giggle more. His lips were on her neck in a matter of seconds and Akane melted. Her whole body went almost limp in his arms as she moaned softly with each touch of his lips on her skin. After five or six kisses he suddenly tensed up and pulled back, letting her go in the process.

"I'm so fucking sorry Akane, I didn't ask and I basically-" Akane put her hand over his mouth.

"Nope you didn't hurt me. I was teasing and pushing buttons. You were just waking up and you were only returning my energy. Kissing my neck wasn't too far. In fact, I would have done the same thing if I were you," she quickly explained. He kissed her hand, and she moved it away.

"I'll tolerate being called anything but beautiful," he said, his face still a bit dark.

"Why? You are incredibly beautiful," she whispered. He growled softly again.

"Because Hizashi uses it to tease me all too often," he ground out through clenched teeth. "Okay I take it back. You're still incredibly sexy but I won't ever call you beautiful again," she said louder.

"Thank you, Akane. Now as much as I'd love to stick around for you to give me another reason to entice those melodic moans from your lips, I need to get on different clothes before I go teach these kids." He slid off the bed and pulled on his shirt and started on all his other layers. Once he was dressed, he cleaned up his snack messes and turned to her. Akane was digging through her closet looking for some thicker clothes since snow was falling outside the decent sized balcony doors she had in her room. She would shower tonight so the warmth of the water would keep her warmer overnight since Shōta turning up last night had made her forget to shower. So, she hadn’t showered since Monday night after he left. She turned around to face him and found him standing a couple of feet away.

“May I have another kiss before I have to go keep these kids alive for another day?” His voice was soft in tone again. Akane nodded and he closed the gap between them. His fingers of one slid into her hair and the other hand found her lower back and pulled her body flush to his. She dropped the sweater she had been holding to put on as one layer and wrapped both arms around his shoulders as his head dipped down to hers. Her eyes closed and his lips met hers. Deep but not rough. He lingered as long as he dared to, not trying to push her past this simple kiss. After what seemed like forever in a day and not nearly long enough at the same time he pulled back.

“If you’d like we can use one of the empty training facilities to work on your quirk tonight,” he whispered with his nose still touching hers.

“I’d like that so that way if anyone tries to start anything we can play it off much easier,” she said. He nodded and briefly kissed her nose before fully pulling out of her arms.

“I have to go now but I’ll see you this evening outside of the teacher’s dorm at 7, don’t be late or I’ll actually make you run laps. I’m not joking.” Something about his tone told her he was serious. She nodded and went back to her closet to finish finding clothes for the weather. She heard him open the door and when she looked over, she saw he was checking to make sure no one else was around before he slipped out the door and closed it quietly behind him.

Later that evening as the snow fell at a steady pace Akane found herself outside the teachers’ dorm building at 6:55. The door opened spilling out soft warm light into the darkness of the early evening and out walked Shōta.

“Ahhhh good you’re early, that makes me happy,” he said as he pulled the door closed behind him. He walked down the few steps that led from the door to the sidewalk where Akane stood and offered his arm to her. She looped her arm around his and he started walking her towards the training facilities presumably. They walked in a comfortable silence as the snow picked up around them a bit. She hoped the training facilities had working heat. A few minutes later they were opening the big door to one of the empty training facilities. It was pitch black but much to Akane’s relief the heat seemed to have been left on.

“Made sure it got left on myself. I knew it would end up snowing harder, so I made sure to find the one of your fellow janitors to ask that they make sure it didn’t get turned back off,” he explained as he started to shed his thicker layers. Akane started stripping off her own layers leaving her standing in just her pink tights and a loose-fitting black shirt over her underwear. She looked over to see Shōta was in a pair of jeans and a tight fitting dark blue shirt. The color really looked good on him, and she wished he’d wear color more often, even if he stuck to the darker shades of the colors, it would still suit him. He was walking over to the wall and after a few seconds dim light filled the space from only a fifth of the lights being turned on. He looked back with that soft smile on his face she was starting to grow accustomed to and that made her smile.

“Alright so we are going to start small and work as long as you’d like to,” he said his voice slightly echoing off the walls of the empty gymnasium looking room. So, he had chosen a room that didn’t have giant pieces of a mountain side or raging rivers in it. Good because she definitely wasn’t ready for any hero training or anything. There were some obstacle course stuffs pushed to one side and a bunch of thick foam mats pushed off to another side. She followed him as he led the way to the middle of the room and stopped. “I’m going to turn your Quirk off and when I do I want you to concentrate on how that feels in your body. Not the sensations from your physical appearance changing but internally. You’ll understand what I’m saying when I do it.”

“Okay, I’m ready whenever you are Shōta,” she nodded to him. He blinked and when he opened his eyes again, they were blazing red. She focused on how she felt during the brief seconds where his quirk affected her body. Warmth bloomed in her stomach as a wave of something flowed through her. When she looked back to Shōta to confirm if she had felt the right thing he was smiling at her even more.

“That was great Akane, now I’m going to turn my Quirk off and again I want you to feel the sensations that causes in your body as your Quirk comes back.” He blinked again and Akane focused with her eyes closed this time. The warmth bloomed in her stomach again followed by the wave of something washing over her. Only this time she was able to identify that the sensation started at the very top of her head. When she opened her eyes Shōta was still standing in the same spot and his eyes were their usual black. He nodded again.

“Good Akane now you know where your Quirk is centralized in your body. Now let’s move on to small feature changes. Focus on your hair and think of how you want it to look while feeling that sensation. Make the sensation move where you want and affect your body how you wish it to,” he explained.

Akane focused on making her hair pink and just long enough to brush the tops of her shoulders. The sensation bloomed at the top of her head again and she focused on it more. She thought about it moving out to the ends of her hair and it did. Focusing on the thought of it pulling up from her waist to the tops of her shoulders, she felt it do just that. Finally, she thought about turning her hair bubble gum pink and watched Shōta’s face light up which told her she had succeeded.

“You really are a natural,” he gasped as Akane made her hair change to his. She wondered just how much she could push it but didn’t want to leap right into something that might have her on bed rest for two days again. Though this time around she suspected they’d just send her to Recovery Girl.

“Maybe I can do more than we thought,” she contemplated aloud.

“Maybe you can Akane but let’s take it slowly please. I’d for sure take you Recovery Girl this time but I’d rather not have to do that to begin with,” he said softly in tone as he got a little closer.

“Okay so what should we try next?” He stopped a good ten feet away and shrugged.

“Without pushing yourself too hard too fast it’s up to you now,” he explained. She sighed and thought about what she wanted to do. She knew she could change her hair, eyes, eyebrows and lips painlessly, but did that mean it would stay the same throughout?

“Shōta what if it hurts me to use it to do more than just superficial features,” her voice was laced with enough worry that he closed the gap between them and grabbed her hand gently in his.

“The only way to find out is to try. So, let’s start simply. Try focusing on your pinky finger in my hand. Make it longer and see if it hurts.” His voice was soothing and so she focused again. She thought about the sensation moving from her head to her right pinky finger cradled in his hand. When she felt it there, she focused on the thought of the sensation elongating her finger an inch. She watched as it grew that inch but didn’t hurt. It barely even tingled.

“Oh, okay well that was almost pleasant,” she whispered.

“We were right though. You’re capable of more than we thought,” he said and squeezed her fingers gently. She made her finger return to the normal size with a little more concentration and then stepped back a couple of steps.

“I want to try something, and I ask that you don’t stop me because I promise I won’t push myself too far,” she said. He nodded and watched her. She closed her eyes and focused intently on her memories. She was searching for the one vague memory she had of her father from when she was four and he left. When she had focused on what features of his she could remember she focused on her quirk. She felt her eye shape change, her lips change, her cheeks got bigger and her hair got incredibly short. It was in soft curls on top of her head. Akane opened her eyes to see astonishment written all over Shōta’s face.

“Do you recognize this face? Even vaguely,” she whispered. He studied her face and then his own face fell. Sadness filled all his features and panic filled Akane.

“I’m sorry Akane but he got arrested in the first raid on the Yazuka hideout that resulted in us rescuing Eri,” his voice was barely above a whisper, “in fact I captured him myself.”

“Oh well, that’s what he gets for abandoning his wife and daughter to join up with a bunch of delinquents,” she scoffed. Her eyes closed again as she focused on her quirk and made it return her features to the ones she preferred.

“Akane are you sure,” his voice sounded a bit uncertain.

“I’m positive. He chose to abandon us, didn’t even send us any kind of money from his bullshit, never called me on a single birthday or holiday. He got what he deserved. No chance he’s in Tartarus so I don’t have to worry about him getting out,” her voice rose with hope at the end. He nodded confirming he was locked in the highest security prison Japan had to offer and Akane smiled. “Good that’s really good.”

“Is there anything else you’d like to explore about your quirk? Anything else you’d like to try?”

“Well, I was thinking about one other thing I’d like to try.” She closed her eyes and focused on her quirk again. When she opened her eyes, she knew her face was an exact replica of his because his mouth was hanging open.

“Small shapeshifting quirk my ass,” he breathed out in amazement.

“Okay now please stop wearing my face it’s incredibly uncanny.”

Akane nodded and this time kept her eyes open as she focused on her quirk. She felt the process take a couple seconds less than the last time and she smiled.

“Wow I’m already getting a bit better at this.”

“Yes, you are and that’s honestly amazing dear. If you’d like to, we can work on your handicordination once you get your glasses in,” he suggested.

“We could definitely do that and then maybe after a bit of practice we could bring in more of your fellow teachers and I could shift into one of them and you could try to tell us apart,” she suggested in return.

“It would only work if I wasn’t in the room when it happened, otherwise it wouldn’t work,” he teased.

“Well obviously,” she stuck her tongue out at him, and he playfully lunged at her in response. She yelped and stumbled back a couple of steps.

“If you’re going to tease me expect me to respond in a similar way to that every time,” he warned. She made a mental note of that and smiled.

“Well then, I think we are done for tonight. I’d appreciate if you’d walk me back to my building, but I think it’s best you sleep in your own room for the next several nights, so no one gets any ideas.”

“I think that would be best as well,” he agreed. They walked over to where they had left their piles of layers and started to tug them back on. Once they were dressed Shōta made his way over to the thermostat and switched the unit off. She waited by the door as he turned off the lights. Once he was next to her he offered her his arm and smiled. She wrapped her arm around his and they walked towards her building. This time they walked a bit slower as the snow had stopped at some point while they were inside training. Once they reached her building Akane felt a twang of sadness hit her heart. She knew as the teacher of the leading class of upcoming superheroes at the leading school for training upcoming superheroes his days wouldn’t always be this leisurely. She wasn’t sure when she’d get to see him again.

“Let me have your phone number so that way when things pick up here in a few days and I can’t see you for a while I can at least keep in touch with you, so you know why,” he said almost as if he had read her mind. She dug out her phone and put it in his hand. He pulled off one of his gloves and typed his contact information into her phone. He handed it back to her and she immediately texted him her name, so he had her number.

“There now whenever you get caught up training the next generation of Toshi’s I’ll at least know you’re not dead,” she said seriously.

“Would it be okay if I stole one more kiss before we don’t have the ability to be alone together again?” She nodded and he closed the small gap between them. He kissed her deeply but briefly so as to avoid attracting any attention. When she closed the door to the building behind her Akane’s heart sank a little more.

It was two weeks before Shōta and her found themselves alone together again. During those two weeks four days he and his class had been off campus on some kind of training exercise or another. Akane spent most of the time doing her work with the same pace and tenacity as before. She couldn’t allow this to affect her work. Her routine of making sure his classroom smelled like lavender instead of harsh chemicals never faltered. She made all the other classrooms smell like vanilla, but she had learned from the one magazine interview he had given when he was still an up-and-coming superhero that he loved the smell of lavender.

During the days he was on campus they would occasionally see each other. They’d pass in the hallways, and he’d shoot her a smile followed by a text that ranged from “Hope this isn’t too much but I do miss you” to “you should be practicing your quirk even if I’m not there to guide you.” The first one always made her respond with “it’s not too much, I miss you too.” The second one always got a response of multiple eye rolling emojis. He usually ignored those. Everything else always got a different response. Two days before he returned from the training trip, he told her he would have time the day after he got back and wanted to know if she wanted to hang out. She had agreed only if he promised that if she proved she’d been training that they would do literally anything else. So, he agreed and invited her back to his dorm building.

“Alright show me what you’ve got,” he said once they were settled in his room. Akane was tucked underneath his Kotatsu table, and he was sitting on the couch with a beer in his hand. Akane focused on her quirk and changed her face. In twenty seconds, her face looked like Shōta’s. In another twenty seconds it looked like Hizashi’s face. Then twenty seconds later she looked like Kaya. She had taken this seriously and now it no longer took her several full minutes to change her features.

“Okay you have been practicing,” he exclaimed as she made her face look like her own again. She proudly took a drink from her wine cooler and then smiled at him.

“I told you I was practicing Mr. Teacher Man,” she teased. He set down his beer on the table and slid onto the floor next to her on his knees.

“Say that again if you want to end up pinned to this floor with my tongue down your throat,” he growled out softly. Akane squealed as her face turned bright red and scooted back a little bit from him.

“Okay I promise I’ll stop teasing you,” she giggled as she held up her hands in surrender. He smirked as he tucked himself under the table too and took another swig of his beer. “Though since it is my nature it’s going to be hard. Though maybe that’s why….”

“Akane don’t. I know what you’re thinking. Don’t. No one deserves to be assaulted the way you were, do not blame yourself. I’m sorry if my response triggered you and I can promise to never respond that way again if you tell me to,” his voice had taken on that soft tone again that had a way of soothing Akane to her core.

“Okay Zawa I won’t and don’t worry you didn’t do anything wrong. If it wasn’t for us taking this slowly, I would have teased you again, but I don’t want to rush you or myself,” she explained. His face grew a little darker but not in an angry way, it was more playful than it was this morning.

“It’s up to you Akane. All of it. If you want to tease me until I pounce on you and kiss you until you’re dizzy, do it. If you want to grab my remote and put something on the tv and pretend this never happened, then do it. Everything that does or does not happen between us is entirely up to you,” he explained in that soothing voice again.

“Well then Mr. Teacher Man why don’t you put your money where your mouth is,” she taunted. In an instant he had her pinned to the floor with his hands on her hips and his body mostly pressed into hers. He didn’t pounce on her hard enough to make her hit her head hard, but she still gasped a little bit. His mouth claimed hers and she wrapped her arms around his back. As his lips coaxed hers open, she tangled one hand into his hair and let his tongue slide into her mouth. The taste of him flooded Akane’s senses as he licked at her tongue slowly. She felt a moan well up in her chest and cut it off before it could escape her lips. He licked her tongue again almost as if he wanted her to moan and she couldn’t stop it this time. The moan floated from her lips and his hands on her hips tightened. He licked her tongue again more eagerly this time and she licked his back. Their tongues and breath intermingled as his hands stayed right on her hips. She kept one hand in his hair and the other on his lower back. His taste filled her head and made her start to slip into a space she hadn’t been able to be in in a while. His lips trailed along her cheek and stopped at her ear.

“Would you like me to stop,” he breathed against her ear. She shook her head.

“Please not yet.” His lips were soft on her ear as he whispered in it again.

“Then may I kiss down your neck and move my hands elsewhere?” She nodded again, not even bothering to ask where his hands were going to end up at, she trusted him. The feeling of his lips on her neck only heightened the feeling of his hands sliding up and they came to rest a couple of inches below her breasts but still mostly on her sides. Her breath hitched in her throat, and he stopped.

“Please don’t stop. I’ll tell you when you need to stop.” He kept kissing her neck and left his hands right where they were. She tugged at his hair a little bit and he moaned against her skin.

“Oh, Akane that’s a bit of a dangerous button to be pushing.” The warning in his voice was clear. Akane might have been bolder in the past, but she simply let up on the pressure on his hair. His lips continued to make their way down her neck and once he reached her collar bone, he started to kiss his way back up. He hesitantly slid one of his hands up to rest right under her breast and when she didn’t object, he didn’t move it. Akane’s head was spinning in the best way possible as he grabbed her hands and pinned them to the floor as he bit her neck right below her ear.

"Too much.” He immediately stopped and pulled away from her. He helped her sit up and blushed.

“Sorry I should have asked first,” he muttered as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“It’s alright Zawa I promise. You got caught up in the moment,” she said and grabbed his hand softly. He looked at her and when he saw there was only sincerity on her face he relaxed. “Well then let’s watch a movie and then I can walk you back to your building,” he said. She nodded and leaned into him. They settled on a random action movie and cuddled the whole time they watched it. When he left her at her building, he stole another kiss with the promise to see her tomorrow before he wouldn’t be able to for a bit. She would spend every moment until then replaying every second of that passionate make out scene.

Please do not reupload this anywhere. If anyone ever sees my original work uploaded anywhere please let me know. I only post here for now. One day I might actually move things over to my Ko-fi

Here is chapter one in case you come across this post first

[lilycutesmith]

Lily's Personal Onion On Art And Creativity As A Whole

tbh I've been having a LOT of thoughts on creation and what I feel about it. I'm tired of seeing people complain about shit like "ugh I hate doing line art/shading/etc" when it comes to art, like who's making you do those things? Have you sat down and thought about WHY you're doing those? Is there not some way to do those in a way you like, if not cut them out entirely? Why are you making yourself suffer through things you don't like to do?

Like, ok, I don't consider myself """an artist""" because I only really draw to show people designs I've thought up or to make graphics for my video games but a lot of what informs "my style" is that:

I'm not particularly strong at making sprites over a certain size

I fucking hate shading sprites I have to animate dude its so tedious

I want to be done as fast as possible

And this results in me being fairly quick at sketching out a concept when I draw on paper, and my sprite work is low-color count NES-esque style sprites and I'm ok with that! I don't need to do more then that. I'm not paid to do more and I'm not that interested in pushing it further. The only real thing I wish to improve at is getting my brain to understand 3D shapes better.

anyways the point is, if you create stuff and feel frustrated, you should just take a step back and ask yourself why. Why are you doing <thing that is frustrating>?

That all said, you DO have to put up with a certain level of "frustrating" because the nature of learning means you have to deal with it but changing how you approach it alleviates it so much. Just answer the question of "Why do I do this?" really helps imo.

anyways thats my two cents I'm still growing and learning and having fun, and you can too.