#Muriel learns how to live

[lvndrlondonfog]

The nightingales haven’t sang for months, leaving the demon with only the soft whistle of a somber, snowy symphony that blew in with the winter breeze.

On the other hand, the winter season brings a new, exciting look to the world for an inexperienced angel; they’re thinking they’re rather starting to like it here.

[neonvqmpire]

we need to talk about how close aziraphale actually was to saying no to the metatron after the kiss and why:

he's extremely conflicted and keeps looking out of the window to crowley in the car.

he previously said "nothing last forever" when crowley told him that he cant leave the bookshop (crowley also meant "you cant leave me"; the bookshop is a metaphor for their lives on earth for him) and he states exactly this as the first objection here. obviously the metatron shuts it down by appointing muriel as the next owner of the shop.

now he's stuck between wanting to be with the being he loves & who he now knows loves him back and his deep inner need/duty to do good. crowley's confession and kiss clearly made him question his decision and change his mind because here is when he actually decides for both.

you can see how he does not want to join heaven alone. he keeps looking out the window when asked if he needs anything to take with him.

he desperately needs crowley there but he can not have him so he lies and says no.

i this moment he tries to say no to heaven one last time. he starts saying "i think i-" and then looks out to crowley one last time. he's really considering crowleys offer here. i think the decision that he makes instead is actually FOR crowley as well.

he decides to join heaven not as he was previously convinced by the metatron to do good and rule together with crowley (which he did not want to do) but instead to go and keep a close eye on heaven FOR crowley.

aziraphale isnt stupid, he remembers what crowley said about heaven being toxic.

i think the confession and kiss makes him question heaven. crowley, who fell for asking questions made aziraphale question heaven too. something that he was always too scared to do. he has started to rebel in his head. he realised that something has to be up with heaven/the metatron bc they offered him the position. he decided to go but with a completely different purpose than before. 

he puts on a smile and it seems fake because it is. he wants to appear like he hasn't just fundamentally changed his position and decided to go against the one force who he was always afraid of yet dependent on. 

this is sth extremely relatable to someone who is queer and autistic and was raised by very conservative family members. even the thought of supporting queer people felt rebellious, terrifying but also extremely exiting and powerful because i knew it was the right thing to believe. 

aziraphale was being so brave here. he saw a glimpse of the life he wants and can have and choose to join heaven anyway to fight for this life. he is convinced it will not be possible for them to be together if heaven is still kicking about and making him feel powerless and scared. he wants to secure their future by changing or possibly even destroying the system from the inside out. 

unfortunately he didn't have time to tell crowley about his change of intention and i think it really breaks his heart. crowley would probably not understand it anyway. they still have a lot to work through and learn but ultimately they will find each other again. they always do.

i am so so interested to see where and how they meet again in s3, if we get it. after everything i just really want them to be happy and to spend their eternity together. they deserve it after all they went through.

[highseas-swede]

Becoming Real

Recently Good Omens Prime Twitter account posted a BTS photo of Aziraphale and Furfur and it started the gears in my head turning, trying to parse it. It's only just now that it finally coalesced into a proper thought.

I kept thinking Aziraphale reminded me of something, especially when compared to the other angels. Look at him next to pre-Jim Gabriel, Uriel, Michael... heck, even Furfur, who he's standing next to right now.

Furfur is a demon, but his outfit is impeccable, it's sleek and stylish. The angel's suits in heaven are all pressed and flawless and New.

But not Aziraphale. He's dressed in old human clothes, his waistcoat is worn and tattered and long-loved. Aziraphale is, as Michael put it, like an old sofa. Worn and comfortable. He could choose to look basically however he wants, but instead he chooses to clothe himself in actual human clothes, to eat human food, to enjoy human entertainment - books, music, plays, etc. He does this despite the fact that it actively makes the other angels dislike him and find him unpalatable.

And that's what stuck out to me. Because unlike those other angels and demons, Aziraphale doesn't feel distant from humanity. He might be odd or eccentric to humans, but they don't question his humanity. He doesn't stand out to them in the way that the other angels do when they show up.

It occurred to me that this is because unlike the other angels... Aziraphale is Real.

Have you ever read The Velveteen Rabbit? There's a scene in it where they talk about what it means to be Real:

This made me think of Aziraphale. About how the other angels are these pristine things, kept aloof from the world, and then there's Aziraphale, who is worn and shabby, who's lived on earth for millennia among the humans. He's loved and learned and experienced what being human is like and because of that he's Real in a way that the other angels aren't. Humans have personhood, a sense of agency, a sense of self. Angels and demons have only the divine plan, as Beelzebub and Gabriel noted, that's all they live for "if you can call it living".

But what strikes me the most is how potentially devastating Aziraphale's Realness will be to Heaven. They only succeed at keeping angels in line because they're undistracted from the Great Plan. We see how Gabriel - as Jim - takes to cocoa after trying it. We see how quickly Muriel becomes fascinated with books.

Now consider that this is the angel they're putting in charge of Heaven. This worn, shabby, old sofa of an angel who has an endless well of love, for Crowley, for the world and the humans in it. He doesn't seem dangerous in the slightest. He seems Fragile.

But he is dangerous. So very dangerous.

But it's not because he's a guardian, not because he's a warrior, not because he's the Angel of the Eastern Gate who leads a battalion and was issued a flaming sword. He gave all of that away and it's worth noting that this is the first actual choice we see him make in the show, the thing that sets him apart in Crowley's eyes, and it wasn't even Crowley's doing! Aziraphale made a choice to give the mortals his sword out of compassion and it is a sense of compassion we don't see from the other angels.

His deviations all stem from that initial act. It takes him from being this two-dimensional cardboard entity existing only as part of the Divine Plan and set him on the path to actual Personhood.

It doesn't happen right away, of course, because as the Skin Horse says:

"It doesn't happen all at once. You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But those things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

And doesn't that sum up Aziraphale? He's shabby and worn and he's beautiful to the people who understand and appreciate that being Real means being imperfect, and that every imperfection is still beautiful.

No wonder the angels mock his corporation, his flaws, all the things he enjoys that make him less than what they think he should be. We see evidence over and over that Aziraphale is essentially "ugly" to them. But that's because they don't understand.

Aziraphale's Realness, his personhood, what Crowley has helped nurture from the Wall of Eden all the way to that last desperate kiss, is what really matters. Good Omens has always been about People being fundamentally People. It's the underlying current that ties everything together, for good or for ill. People have agency. People have self-actualization. People have the ability to make their own choices, for good or for evil.

And now Aziraphale has that too.

That's the very real danger he presents to heaven.

Because we've already seen that any angel, given sufficient time and interaction with humans could be like Aziraphale. All it takes is one small opening, one bite from the apple. Whether deliberately or not, Crowley tempted Aziraphale into every step, the way he tempted Eve in the garden. He gave Aziraphale the knowledge of Right and Wrong, presented him with the option, the way he did with humanity. Were they even really human before Crowley? Did he give them free will? His actions cast them out of paradise, but did it ultimately set them free? Has he struggled for millennia to do the same for the angel he's loved so well and for so long?

Does Crowley know how horribly, wonderfully well he succeeded?

Bringing Aziraphale back to Heaven, putting him in charge, was the absolute worst thing the Metatron could have done for keeping the status quo and it's not because of Aziraphale's fighting prowess. It's because of the small Human acts of kindness and pettiness that Aziraphale is capable of. That's not going to go away when he's in Heaven. It's going to spread. He's going to infect Heaven with Humanity. It's going to be so slow and gradual that they won't see it coming until it's far too late.

It's not going to be the way that Aziraphale intends to change Heaven and yet, it will surely ultimately be what really makes a difference.

I wonder too, if maybe that's some subconscious part of it. After seeing Gabriel change, seeing Muriel change, I wonder if there's not some part of Aziraphale that realizes that Heaven is a miserable place that makes miserable people. He'll extend compassion to them that they don't deserve and don't know they're missing and he'll surely go on with whatever his own Plan - with a capital P, of course - is and he won't even realize what he's actually done.

And then, like the ending of S1, like the ending of S2, the ultimate deciding factor will not be who is the best warrior, who is the strongest. It will be about the Human element.

Metatron thought he could control Aziraphale, bring him in line by bringing him back to Heaven. He wants to take away the human element of Aziraphale and shove him back into that Obedient Little Angel shaped mold and he doesn't realize it's not possible anymore. Aziraphale's grown. He'll never fit, he'll never be that again. There is no going back anymore.

As the Skin Horse says: "Once you are Real, you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always."

And Real things, things with depth and purpose and will, are impossible to ever truly control.

[dalliancekay]

The 'Aziraphale Still Believes in Heaven' Take

Is one that I see so often. Too often. The way many fans (still) say Aziraphale is so naïve, he's never learned anything, he never changes, Metatron just offered him a promotion and he happily jumped on it. Happy to go back to Heaven. Still in their clutches. Leaving Crowley behind. Cos nothing lasts forever. Amirite? Poor long-suffering Crowley. So patient. Goes through so much. Aww. Takes that say that because Crowley never told Aziraphale about the venom in Gabriel's "Shut your stupid mouth and die already", Aziraphale has no idea that Heaven is not the good guys, that he still believes they are on the side of truth and light.

Takes that claim Aziraphale wants Crowley to come to Heaven and be an angel again so they can be happy like in the good old times. Takes that basically say that Aziraphale is stupid. And blind. LISTEN Do you mean this Aziraphale:

Who knew before Crowley did that something is rotten in the state of Denmark, that things are wrong and one can get in a lot of trouble for a thing as minor as a suggestion to improve things. Is this the Aziraphale that would seriously suggest to Crowley, who he was immediately deeply anxious over, to go back to 'good old times'? What good old times? How is Heaven a place of light when:

A bunch of angels comes down to Earth to bully and PUNCH ONE OF THEIR OWN?

Why would he think they are the light when they shame him for being who he is?

And yes, Aziraphale wants to do good. But that's not tied to him being an angel. And it's not a bad thing ffs! Crowley does good as well. Aziraphale might be the only one who knows, but he knows. Maybe getting humans out of the Garden to seek knowledge was always a (certainty) possibility, and maybe not, but it was Aziraphale's decision to arm them.

And She didn't make him Fall for it. And do you remember when:

Aziraphale first openly questioned that Heaven was actually doing what God actually wanted? He had a think after the Flood, didn't he. He did what he thought was right. He trusted Crowley over his fellow angels, with his own sense of rightness. He and Crowley saved the kids that Aziraphale triple checked the Archangels saw no problem in letting die to make things easier. And She didn't make him Fall for it. In Edinburgh:

Az re-evaluated his assumption that grave-robbing is bad and did a full 180 degree turn when he learned it can be spun another way, trying to save the grave-robbing girl AND the possible future lives of children that could be helped via more learning. And when we come to Metatron and his threats, we don't see the full conversation, but don't we see enough? Aziraphale says that he's not interested. Metatron keeps nagging at him. Pushing the symbolic coffee from Coffee or Death at him. Flattering him with obvious untruths. After all, Aziraphale knows what Heaven thinks of him. He tried to reason with Metatron before. Metatron tells him they know how deep his disobedience lies:

Aziraphale is not a fool. He knows this is an offer of come quietly or we will find a way to destroy you and your demon this time. Aziraphale didn't have to hear Metatron's quip of: "For one prince of Heaven to be cast into the outer darkness makes a good story. For it to happen twice, makes it look like there is some kind of institutional problem." He knows the system is rotten. He knows for a LONG time. Did you see his face when he met Muriel and realised what a lonely sad existence they lead.

AND Crowley doesn't love Aziraphale despite the fact that he's being used to get out of trouble, being made to listen about random things the angel enjoys from symphonies to food and plays, and who continues to believe in goodness and kindness. CROWLEY LOVES AZIRAPAHLE BECAUSE OF THOSE THINGS AND because he sees Aziraphale for what he is, an angel who thinks for himself, changes his mind, angel who is brave, who stands for the right thing, who sacrifices his own happiness for the safety of others, especially the demon he loves. They are the same. They are lonely. They are one of a kind. And they love each other.

Aziraphale wants to stay at home. In the home he built for himself and Crowley. On Earth where he's found so much to love. But he knows it is impossible. As Crowley confesses his love, Aziraphale struggles to stay on his plan. He'll miss Crowley terribly. He wants them to be together. For him, they were an 'us' the whole S2. However tenuously. Fragile existence and all that.

But even this was ripped away from him. And whatever he's planning, he knows he needs to do the first steps on his own. He can't submit Crowley to the torture that being in Heaven is going to be for him, an unwanted, despised angel. He can't make him come. He can only ask him. And Crowley said no.

So he leaves. Furious. And determined. Whether it is to burn the place down or find God and ask Her all the questions to Her face I don't know. But his love will push him through.

And if I see one more simplistic take of the snarky demon is really good isn't he, so that means the stuffy angel is bad (and needs to change to be worthy of the demon) I will curse their dreams with lines about shades of grey. AZIRAPHALE AND CROWLEY ALREADY LOVE EACH OTHER

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

Full headcanons for when MC regains all of their missing memories please 🙏🏽🙏🏽

The Arcana HCs: When MC regains their memories

Julian

It's one thing to discover, with someone who also didn't remember at the time, that he had essentially forgotten about you when you needed his help most. It's another to remember it

The early stages you spent still working with him, still sending him communications, still hoping he'd stop to connect long enough to notice your condition and do his job as a doctor and your friend

You don't know which hurts worse, that, or the later stages you spent weak and dying and alone, hoping against hope that he'd notice you were gone and come to help you through the last of it

The way his face falls in regret and pain when you finally tell him what those days were like is a closure you didn't know you needed

As much as it hurts both of you to address, the fact that Julian feels like you can forgive him while knowing the full extent of what he's done gives him an even stronger faith in your relationship

He's also excellently suited to helping you unpack it all - he's been through the same thing himself, having missing memories change how he lives, and then getting them all back at once. He gets it

So excited to learn all about your past self from you

Asra

If this ultimately makes you a happier, healthier person, they are both delighted for you and hugely relieved that it happened

One of his many fears after bringing you back was that he wouldn't be able to give you a life worth having. Your lack of memories definitely contributed to that, and seeing you recover is wonderful

Of course it's not all sunshine and rainbows. As soon as you've reached a point where you can talk about it, they're asking you for your forgiveness all over again and for your side of the story

He left you where he knew it was dangerous, and he failed to stay with you because he chose his fear over his love. He didn't even leave you a way to call for him when you needed him

At the same time, it's their unfailing presence with you now that helps you overcome the disjointedness of it all. They've grown and matured, but your current and old memories alike feature them

So when you're ready to reminisce, to start talking about your old antics and embarrassing mistakes and weird habits, the same best friend who saw it all then will remember it with you now

Only now, there's no walls, fears, or secrets left between you

Nadia

Your memories are back? Tell her everything

Seriously, everything. It's been so fulfilling for her to have someone to trust and allow into her heart and mind and space, and she's often regretted that you can't do the same to that capacity

She does struggle early on not to feel guilty when you mention things like Vesuvia's failing economy or the ravages of the Red Plague, but she's quick to keep the focus on you

Soaks up all the little details and anecdotes you share with her

You remember your childhood favorite food? She's having it served at tea, to see if it tastes the way you remember it

You mentioned a song you remember a parent or family member singing? She's boosting the local music scene with a big prize for whoever can find and learn to play/sing it to you

Really, really wants to visit all the places you have your core memories in. Taking you to Prakra gave her a closure and bond with you that she really wants you to enjoy as well

It goes without saying, but she has an open invitation to anyone you want to reconnect with to visit or stay at the Palace

Muriel

He's happy ... for you. He knows how deeply formative memories and history are, and it's only right for you to have your roots back

He's also the closest to terrified and insecure he's been in a long time, and that's because if you remember a time before the end of the Plague, you remember the time when he was the Scourge

He doesn't care for secrets. He's never hidden who he was from you. He knows you saw his old self and that it hasn't changed how you love him. But it's different when it's your memories, not his

What if you visited the Coliseum without him knowing?

What if you took a seat and experienced the disappointment and revulsion of seeing your best friend's oldest friend, maybe even someone you were fairly close with as well, turn into a killer?

But if you could look at his memories and still commit to loving him, he can and will do the exact same for you

Gives you space when you need it and sticks by your side when you need it, always ready to lend an ear when you want to share

Happy to go on a trip with you if it'll let you reconnect with lost family and roots. You did the same for him, after all!

Portia

Oh she's not worried at all. She knows you two have got this

Whatever there is in your history that she may have an issue with, she knows you two can talk about it and she knows who you are now is not who you used to be. No serious concerns there

That aside, you can finally live with (roughly) the same amounts of memories she has! This is great! You should write them down!

Not the best at giving you space if you want to process alone, but so empathetic with the whole adjustment that it's almost impossible to feel misunderstood. She's got your back

Even with the tricky relational stuff. Her older brother and Asra, especially. She knows you knew them when things were bad, and she's ready to mediate any hard conversations you need to have

And she'll give you all the emotional support you need after

Almost scarily dedicated to helping you track down and reconnect with people from your past. (Given how she spent three years hunting down her brother, it's not hugely surprising ...)

So confident and settled in your relationship that it makes sorting through the memories easier. You're still each other's fresh start

Lucio

He's happy for you! He really is! He promises! (all said with both hands in the air, a strained smile, and a bead of sweat rolling down the side of his face while the dogs look unimpressed)

Okay so maybe he's a little scared

He knows you've talked about it. Hell, you walked with him through the landscape of his memories and failings and somehow managed to hold love for him as he went

But if you can actually remember, now, what he did ... who he used to be ... what you suffered because of him both directly and indirectly, and yes, the horrific death you can remember now too

He knows he's changed and his faith in you is boundless but his faith in who he used to be is nonexistent, for good reason

Almost makes you lose your temper pestering you for how you really feel and tripping over his feet to prove himself after

Once you've told him that nothing about your relationship is under threat, he becomes an amazing partner to help you unpack

He gets it. What it's like to relive visceral memories, for the past to feel so disjointed. He gets it, and he's got you

[thearcanagame]

Most tidy to messiest?

Nadia - used to living in pristine tidiness, having servants helps 

Portia - actually cleans up after herself, but doesn’t mind messy hobbies like baking.

Lucio - has gotten used to living in a tidy environment, but hasn’t actually learned how to be tidy. 

Muriel - would rank messiest in theory, but doesn’t own enough stuff to cause the mess 

Julian and Asra - tied but messy in opposite ways, which makes them the deadliest roommate combination.

[actual-changeling]

Crowley watches him silently, motionless, and with his shades securely in place. If he has been counting correctly, and he rather assumes he has, then Aziraphale has been talking uninterruptedly for twenty-five minutes and two seconds now.

Three seconds.

"…so, I'm sorry, Crowley. I'm so, so sorry."

He is wringing his hands, unable to stand still, and shifting his weight slightly from foot to foot, searching for Crowley's gaze and failing. The sudden silence feels almost odd, the expectation rolling off Aziraphale in waves even more so, only infinitely heavier, and for a moment, he entertains the thought playing the part Aziraphale has thrust upon him.

But only for a moment.

"Right," Crowley responds, tightening his grip on the door and pressing his other palm against the frame, effectively barring Aziraphale from entering like he has been for the last twenty-six minutes.

"Anything else?"

Confusion wrinkles his forehead, and his fingers no longer turn his ring round and round over a stretch of reddened skin. Maybe it is the utter monotony of Crowley's voice or the lack of reaction in general, but Aziraphale seems, finally, at a loss for words. His mouth opens and closes a few times, his eyebrows knitting together, and Crowley allows him another thirty seconds of patient waiting, after which he calls it a day.

"Great."

He steps back and closes his front door, normally and without slamming it, locks it, and then miracles up a deadbolt for good measure, before picking up his cup of coffee from the chest of drawers (still hot if it knows what's good for it) and strolling back to the living room.

Eighteen months. A year and a half. Another apocalypse is dawning on the world, but if there is anything the last six millennia have taught him, it's that humanity will fix it anyway; they have a knack for that, always outsmarting heaven and hell alike. Well, and him, since he is neither here nor there—so, a special mention to the former angel slash demon Crowley, thank you very much.

A familiar pain tugs at his stomach nevertheless, a faded lightning bolt of distress shivers down his spine, and Crowley sinks into the cushions with a sigh, kicking his feet up onto the coffee table and pressing play on Queer Eye again. The ache will never fully disappear, but it has lessened, and he has learned how to live with it, how to breathe around the crudely stitched-up black hole in his chest.

Aziraphale left, and Crowley stayed. It's really simple, in hindsight, and after weeks of moping and crying, being completely wasted for days at a time, and overall being so miserable, every single one of his plants stopped being scared and became concerned instead, Crowley had picked himself off the floor and kept moving.

Not moving on is worse, Nina had told him during one of their board game nights (none of them can resist Muriel's angelic puppy eyes in that regard, and it is, admittedly, kind of fun), and she had been right.

He still loves him, fuck, of course he does; he doubts he will ever stop. Yet if Aziraphale thinks showing up uninvited and monologuing without pause for twenty-five minutes is going to fix anything, he is sorely mistaken.

'Listen, do you hear that?'

'I don't hear anything.'

Ironic, somehow, that Aziraphale is still not listening to him. Crowley will wait because it's Aziraphale, because he loves him, because despite everything, he is fucking lonely and misses him enough to be tempted to take him back without any apologies whatsoever.

Just tempted, though. His barricades and well-practiced self-control are going strong.

He has to be sure this time. He has to be sure that Aziraphale won't break him again, because the most recent incident almost killed him, and Crowley loves earth, loves him—but he has to love himself more than he loves his angel, or it will destroy them both.

Jonathan van Ness gives some poor sod a new haircut, Crowley drinks his piping hot coffee, and Aziraphale goes home.

It's a nice Tuesday, all things considered.

-

i'm sorry but also not :)

[hanjisungslag]

haiii >_< what type of fantasy characters/stererotypes would aot characters be?

- any characters you want but def reiner pls＾ ty baby

🧝‍♀️ aot characters & fantasy

characters included: eren, armin, mikasa, sasha, connie, jean, annie, reiner, bertolt, levi, erwin & hange!!

notes: this was so fun to do omg

✧ eren jaeger - hero gone villain

okay i know this is a bit basic to do… but c’mon!! he’s literally the epitome of ‘i’ve become what i sought out to destroy’ and i just can’t think of him as anything else. he fits the stereotype too well😭.

✧ armin arlert - mage

he is soooo side kick mage, no? tell me you can’t imagine armin (specifically with the mushroom hair) wearing a wizard gown, hat and holding a magical old stick. he doesn’t like to leave his tower often but is usually forced to when something goes amiss - i can imagine him sighing deeply while reluctantly grabbing his magical old stick.

✧ mikasa ackerman - sidekick

bad ass sidekick who lives in the woods & is probably on the run. i’m thinking… arcana muriel vibes for this but less stoic and quiet (and less cursed) but, she definitely learnt to fight in the woods when she was 3 OR taken in by an old, rugged guy whose family died tragically. either way, everyone’s terrified of her but she steals bread for orphans or some heroic shit like that.

✧ jean kirsten - prince

himbo prince😭 i mean this in the BEST way possibly mkay! he’s not really a himbo however… he just gives prince who accidentally got entangled in a weird adventure and he doesn’t know how to live without servants. he’s be like “erm, i am not crossing that muddy river.” BUT THE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT WOULD BE INSANE by the end, he’d like finally understand how bad the government is or how poor the townspeople are and give them money.

✧ connie springer - the fool

sigh… the fool, the court jester, etc etc. he would be himbo prince jean’s court jester 100% and they’re like actually pretty good friends, they’ve known each other since they were kids. he also gets dragged along with jean on a weird adventure and he would be the comedic relief. (also a shoulder for jean to cry on when he gets mud on his fancy royal shoes).

✧ sasha braus - henchman

hunter/henchman hellooo…? literally expert at using a bow and arrow? grew up in the woods?? she would EAT so hard being a henchman and to make it even better, when someone hires her they don’t know she’s a girl and whenever someone finds out, they’ll be so shocked!! feminism!

✧ reiner braun - the beast

dare i say… some sort of big beast? like a big, fluffy beast but make it sexy, beauty and the beast vibes perhaps. imagine fighting this big and surprisingly attractive who lives under a bridge. IM SORRY THAT WOULD BE SO FUN… i’m thinking like diane from sds vibes too!!

✧ bertolt hoover - squire

young, little boy training to be a knight aka a squire. tell me you cant see this little cutie patootie dressed to the nines in armour, learning how to swing a sword?! maybe him and annie trained together or dare i say, he looks up to her.

✧ annie leonhart - knight

sworn shield to a princess that she falls in love with. imma need someone to write a fanfic about this RIGHT NOW!! we all know annie knows how to whop some ass so, of course she was chosen by the king and queen to protect their precious daughter but what happens when… she falls in love! GAH!! of course, she could never speak of her feelings - maybe one day.

✧ levi ackerman - assassin

leader of some sort of renegade, like a special group of assassins. no matter what universe this man is in, his crown will never fall! his title carries on throughout all possible realties m’kay. same backstory though 100%, raised in the poor ditches but learnt how to fight and now he’s a leader of a renegade! you have to pay big buck to get levi to assassinate someone, he’s the best of the best after all.

✧ erwin smith - commander

i’m sorry to be basic and boring but a commander of an army. HE HAS TO BEEE 😭it’s too perfect, i’m sorry. except imagine the army is all medieval and dripped out in chainmail!

✧ hange zoë - pirate

a pirate. LIKE CMONNN especially s4 hange with the eye patch?! i can totally imagine hange running a ship and sailing the seven seas. they’re literally a commander too? it was written in the stars, they’re perfect for the role! i can totally see them playing devious pranks and tricks on other pirates trying to secure the same treasure.

[elodee]

HERMIT A DAY MAY - DAY 13

Cubfan135 x Courage the Cowardly Dog

For Cubfan I picked Courage the Cowardly Dog! Courage has an unusually high mad scientist per capita so I wanted to do either Cub, Doc or Zed in this style. I chose Cub because a scientist creating talking horns that mimic people and end up terrorizing a neighborhood sounds like something that would happen on the show.

To learn more about Courage the Cowardly Dog and see my style references, continue below the cut.

Courage the Cowardly Dog was one of my favourite cartoons as a kid, which probably explains more about me than I'd like to admit. It's a comedy-horror with a lot of genuinely disturbing and surreal moments.

The show is technically safe for everyone, but anyone who watches it will be altered forever by the Return the Slab guy. If you know you know.

The show centers around a little pink dog named Courage who lives with an elderly couple, Muriel and Eustace Bagge, in a farmhouse outside of the town of Nowhere. They are also figuratively in the middle of nowhere. Courage is scared of everything, but constantly thrown into life or death situations where he needs to save his family from often supernatural threats that just show up for some reason.

The visuals of the show are creepy and at times even upsetting, but the stories are nearly always about how Courage overcomes his fear out of love for his family (Muriel specifically). The show has a lot of different visual styles and even uses different kinds of animation, but for Cub I designed him in the style you would typically see in recurring characters. Style references:

The characters in courage usually have large heads and spindly limbs. The settings often look aged and discolored.

For Cubs shape and features I pulled a lot of influence from Freaky Fred, who is a barber with severe serial killer vibes that I think might be a Sweeney Todd reference. I didn't want Cub to be that scary, though, so I gave him a normal smile.

One of the Courage the Cowardly Dog TV logos

[dbacklot99]

Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About The Crow Road, But Couldn't Get Through it To Find Out

Co-written by dbacklot and cheeseplants

WARNING: SPOILERS EVERYWHERE!!

Overall Premise: Books are clearly important to Good Omens and Neil & team have left us Clues. In S2E2, the xray trivia highlights a list of books they would like the audience to read. But even more specifically, there are names of certain books on the back of the chairs in the theater in the opening credits. Those books are: The Tale of Two Cities, Pride & Prejudice, and The Crow Road - twice!

What might this mean? One theory is that the chairs represent the seasons. The body swap in S1 is similar to how Carton, in Tale of Two Cities, takes his doppleganger's place in jail, sacrificing his life so Darnay could go free and be with his family. Pride & Prejudice is clearly referenced in S2, with Crowley's proposal as a sort of mirror to Darcy's first proposal. (There's probably a whole lot more to unpack there - and if you like Austen, here are some thoughts about Aziraphale's favorite book, Persuasion, and how it may relate to the characters.)

BACK to The Crow Road. The title is shown on two chairs in the opening sequence, suggesting that it is related to both S2 and S3. Furthermore, we see the book multiple times in the show and it's the book Muriel reads at the end. As an aside, Neil Gaiman and Iain Banks were very good friends. Iain Banks died over a decade ago, so it is also likely a bit of a tribute to his friend.

So let's dig in and see why perhaps Neil keeps holding this book up and shouting Clue!

Side note: The book is long and most of the action happens in the final third, which can make it a hard read for folks. There's also a lot of characters and it can be tricky to remember how they are all related. There is a family tree BUT it has spoilers.

The Name: The Crow Road is a phrase used by the grandmother to indicate someone has died, ie - he's gone the crow road.

The Plot: This is the story of Prentice growing up with his immediate and extended family in Scotland. His Uncle Rory disappears in his early childhood. Some family members choose to believe Rory is still alive. After a hook-up with his Uncle Rory's former girlfriend as a young adult, Prentice starts gathering journals and writings from his missing Uncle Rory, who was (for a few years) a successful writer and traveler. Prentice eventually learns that 1) another Uncle, Fergus, had murdered his own wife and covered it up as a car accident and 2) Rory had figured this out and confronted him. Fergus then murdered Rory, hid all the evidence, and hired an acquaintance (who also traveled) to send matchboxes from bars across the world to Prentice's father, Kenneth. Kenneth, believed - as Fergus intended - that these were messages from Rory, indicating he was still alive. 

Stylistically, Prentice's childhood memories and fragments from Rory's journals are interspersed throughout the book, much like the minisodes are in S2. It can take the reader a while to figure out who is telling the story or where this information is coming from. It is also unclear how reliable Rory is as narrator - perhaps this also plays into S2.

What it Might Mean: 

Fergus could represent the Metatron. He is very powerful, rich, and conservative; he lives in a castle (Heaven?) and wants authority. Fergus also murders two relatives and hides those murders; the murder of his wife may have been inspired by jealousy over her sleeping with another man, an event which may or may not have happened.

Fergus also sets up fake messages!! The matchbooks are red herrings to make it look like Rory is still alive. As the Metatron relays messages from God, I can't get over the possibilities here. We have seen God speaking directly as recently as Job, but are the other messages real?

I can't help but wonder if the matchbooks and their use as messages inspired Neil to use the matchbook in S2. The matchbook in S2, incidentally, connects to all three minisodes - the quote from Job, 41:19 (reversed 1941), and the matchbox is from the Resurrectionists pub. So the matchbook contains not only Gabriel’s memories but refers to Azi’s as well?

Much of the book is about this missing uncle. Is a character (or their memory) missing in S3? I have theories, but its too soon to tell.

There's also an interesting theme of Prentice collecting his Uncle Rory's writings and records, including sending some corrupted computer discs to an expert in America to try to restore them. Given the emphasis on records ("It contains information in a tuneful way") and journals in S2, not to mention this trivia nugget ​​ - my brain is itching that there's a connection there.

Faith & Beliefs: The book talks about Faith a lot. Prentice believes in God and his father Kenneth doesn’t. And Kenneth doesn’t just reject religion, he wants his children to reject religion too. Prentice on the other hand desperately wants something to believe in - especially after a friend's death in an accident. This leads to a huge fall out - they end up not talking over it.

"'I mean, what's the big argument? Can't you just agree to disagree?' 'No; we disagree about that,' I shook my head. 'Seriously; it doesnt' work that way; neither of us can leave it alone. There's almost nothing either of us can say that can't be taken the wrong way, with a bit of imagination. It's like being married.'" (Ch 7)

Kennth seemingly taunts God - he climbs a church during a lightning storm and is struck dead. His uncle Hamish (one of Kenneth’s brothers) also represents the extreme version of Faith and ends up running a sort of cult, at least until Kenneth’s death.

What it Might Mean: The thread they pull through a lot is about meaning, and whether you can have meaning in life without God. Prentice gains Faith because his friend died senselessly; he wonders how can you have a world be so cruel. There must be a reason for it (this is sort of Az coded), and he turns to God to create the meaning for him. 

BUT Kenneth’s argument is that you don’t need Faith for the world to have meaning (or at least that is my reading). It is wonderful because it is inherently meaningless (this is very existentialist, but I do think that’s the point). That Faith doesn’t do that, and just means you are looking outwards without looking at what is right in front of you. Which again, could be a Crowley way of looking at it, or at least where he is headed. Life is good as life, and doesn’t need God to make it so. 

Hamish represents someone putting so much meaning into Faith that they lose all sense of Joy, he becomes distant.  (One of my favorite scenes is Hamish doing a jigsaw puzzle with the pieces upside down - and cutting the pieces with scissors if they don’t fit right!)

The Romantic Relationships: Prentice is infatuated with a cousin (second cousin?), Verity. She is described as beautiful, in white/light colors, pure, lives with Uncle Fergus in the castle. There are legends around her birth -  she was conceived under a tree during a storm. She is unattainable and eventually ends up with Prentice's older brother.

Ash, on the other hand, is almost literally the girl next door and Prentice’s long-term best friend. Her family is poorer and maybe has some domestic violence issues. She's always there for Prentice - literally a shoulder to cry on, sharing a bottle of whiskey, helping him sober up after said whiskey. There's obvious romantic tension from Ash’s side but she never pushes him and instead guides him along. And the book ends with a romantic resolution that feels very much like the final fifteen - except with a happier ending.

“- and I still didn’t feel I could tell her how I felt about her because she was going away now, and how could I suddenly say I love you when I’d never said it to anybody in my life before? How could I say it now especially, the night before she was due to leave? It would look like I was trying to make her stay, or just get her into bed. It would probably wreck this one precious evening that we did have, and upset her, confuse her, even hurt her, and I didn’t want to do any of that.” (Ch 13)

They finally kiss and spend the night together, both confessing their love. Ash has to leave the next morning to pursue a career opportunity in New York; Prentice is sad that she goes but re-dedicating himself to his studies and working towards a relationship together. 

What it Might Mean: To me, Verity is very Heaven-coded and Ash is very Hell-coded. A big part of Prentice's arc (Prentice may represent Azi here) is getting over his blind infatuation with Verity and realizing the value and love he has with Ash. However, they also need to be apart and grow a bit before they can be together.

Other thoughts? Connections? Would love to hear your theories!!

@cheeseplants

[deancasbigbang]

Title: Your Grounding Glacier, My Blazing Star

Author: Inkblooded Witch

Artist: TwinOne

Rating: Explicit

Pairings: Castiel/Dean, Benny/Balthazar, John/Mary, Naomi/Ishim, Crowley/Bobby, Hannah/Akobel, Rapheal/Victor, Micheal/Miriam, Elijah/Ingrid, Adina/Daniel, Anna/Gadreel, Muriel/Constantine.

Length: 63000

Warnings: N/A

Tags: Sci-Fi AU, Omegaverse, Fake Relationship to Lovers, Elemental AU, Alpha! Castiel, Omega! Dean, Fluff, Smut, D/S Elements.

Posting Date: November 7, 2024

Summary:   Castiel has spent years keeping his head down, playing the long game. His plans are unexpectedly moved ahead of schedule when he is summoned to the year’s Unity Event by his parents, leveraging their position as head of both the Krushnic family and business to get him there.    His first time back in the Orion system in years is for the singular purpose of being mated off to his family’s advantage. Bracing himself for the longest two weeks of his life turns into something else, when he learns that the Omega he had a literal run-in with on the day he arrived is technically a crown prince. Dean has a similar issue of his own to contend with. Just because his parents don’t intend to force him into a political marriage doesn’t mean a small army of officials and rich merchants don’t want to try anything. They hatch a plan, pretending to court each other, knowing the other would be a dream match for their respective lines. It works well, too well. Castiel hadn’t expected to start really caring for Dean, much less for it to be mutual.

Excerpt:   A scowl crossed Castiel face when he realized there was no option on how the call this time. Visual only. He couldn’t just do an audio call. Wonderful.    Wandering into his living room, Castiel answered, watching as his father’s visage appeared over the com unit. A bust of the man regarded the younger Alpha, tone crisp as he said, “Hello, Castiel. How kind of you to pick up.”    “I have received your official messages, father,” Castiel reminded him. “I know what you want. I have no interest. There’s nothing to discuss.”    “On the contrary, I have plenty to discuss with you. Is this any way to treat your benefactor?”    It took biting his own tongue to keep from challenging that last bit. Ishim had not been his benefactor in years. Thankfully, either Phyllis hadn’t mentioned it or he hadn’t bothered to check. Probably both. The accountant that handled his personal accounts had always been very nice, and she was prone to siding with his children over Ishim himself. Castiel had had no cause to contact her of late, but he did touch base on occasion, and always made sure to send flowers on her birthday.    “No more excuses,” Ishim was saying. “I know very well you’re back in the Delta sector. You are going to clear your schedule, and you are going to come out to the Gaia Station next month.”    “Surely you have more suitable representation options- ”    “Castiel Emanuel Krushnic, I’ve had enough of this. We both have.”    “Mother,” Castiel greeted, as the hologram expanded to include Naomi’s bust alongside Ishim’s. “How are you?”    “Don’t you dare patronize me,” she warned. “It’s been three years since there has been suitable representation at the Unity Event.”    One of the first lessons Castiel had learned was the art of a mask. At this point he was convinced someone could be stabbed to death in front of him and he could maintain the facade of polite interest. His body language matched it, but his scent was harder. It had taken a lot of practice, and the way this day was going, he’d need to brush up.    Visage unphased, Castiel pointed out, “Micheal makes it a point to attend each year. He’s a fixture. And now that Rapheal’s pregnancy is no longer a hindrance she intends to- ”    “That is not what we mean.”    “I thought you would be grateful, I am going out of my way not to be an embarrassment. You recall, don’t you, mother? These things are hardly my strong suit.”    “You will attend or there will be consequences,” Ishim snapped. “We have arranged for your passage on the next passenger transport to Gaia Station, and if you are not on it you won’t like what happens. Is that understood?”    “I do, father.”    When the call ended, Castiel could hear his apartment’s defrosting system kick in. He glanced down at himself, scowling when he realized frost was starting to climb down his limbs. He really was out of practice.

DCBB 2024 Posting Schedule

[paperstarwriters]

hi hey hey eldritch MC who after being resurrected knows way more than they should, who although doesn't know how to walk or talk initially, somehow knows a spell that is so old it's never been written down. Reader who scares the M6 with how.... inhuman they seem to sometimes be.

Just one day while trying to practice and work on some basic magic lights or something you somehow create some sort of anti-light that coats the entire space in pitch black darkness. And it happens often, you just keep doing things that is not in any of Asra's books. They go looking on their trips for explanations or any advice on what to do or how to nullify these spells you somehow know, but the only bit of information they've gotten was from an elderly mage on their deathbed, recalling the spell from their grandfather.

And it's just one spell. Asra has the sinking feeling that all those unknown spells you pull from nowhere are just as old as that. Maybe they find something that sounds like your spell not in a grimoire but in a history book and that dread begins to grow because now it feels like confirmation. Somehow you have old magic in you. It must be the portion of the Fool that allows you to live.

Asra would try their hardest to teach you, even if it runs their hands red all over again, but gods sometimes you scare them. Unafraid, staring into the ball of wild magic that writhes in your hands, unaware of the way it makes your eyes glow with something unnatural.

Of course, they're less afraid of you possibly hurting them or being something so foreign and inhuman.

All they worry about is the fact that, despite knowing as much as they can about magic, they can't protect you from this. They still remember seeing you burn your hands from a sloppy fire spell, a simple silly little mistake that they easily knew how to manage and heal.

But what happens if you do something he doesn't know how to fix?

Half of the time his trips aren't leaving because of his heartache, his trips are him leaving in a panicked frenzy trying to figure out a way to neutralize a black hole, because you somehow seem to be growing closer and closer at being able to summon that.

And dear DEATH Asra saddling Muriel with taking care of you????

because Asra will always be afraid for you, but Muriel holds no qualms about being afraid of you. And he is afraid. He is downright terrified. He's spent enough time in the forest, enough time with the fae to know when something made of magic is dangerous, and the way your eyes light up in the shadows, the way they glow in the sunlight with something unnatural, the way the entirety of you seems to blur at the edges when you see magic that interests you, as if you were going to turn into a shapeless form of pure mana and consume the thing whole. Muriel just doesn't know what you'll do, what your body will do.

Because it's your body. Your body is strange and foreign. And even if he may have had qualms about you before he cannot deny how your awe and curiosity of the world makes his chest feel a little warm, makes him look at the world with a little more appreciation than before. Even though it prickles his spine just a little with it, knowing you're basically a monster parading around in human flesh seeing life from the human perspective for the first time, it still makes him smile a little when you see an animal, or even when you see Inanna, and you try to copy her, it still makes him feel sorry for you when an animal you're fascinated in runs away from you, picking up on the very same threats he feels.

He watches you stare down the carcass of an animal, dead from the sheer amount of mana you exude. And though you look sad, though your expression contorts into that of pity and sorrow, something glows in your eyes at the sight, a look almost akin to delight and he feels that fear return tenfold.

But over time, and with lots of research on Asra's side, and a lot of cold tolerance from Muriel, you learn to manage your powers you learn to manage your magic, and over the span of three years you develop into someone who seems upon first glance like a relatively normal albeit powerful Magic user.

......But sometimes you have your moments.

[tsilvy]

something about those little moments in s2ep3 with crowley alone in the bookshop while aziraphale is in scotland. I watched them all as a single sequence and it's just... SO MUCH.

look. the fact that crowley is cool as a cucumber when aziraphale is around, but when he isn't... well. there's the deep, deep breath he takes while he watches azi drive away, and i can't tell if he's more scared of being alone with gabriel or worried about azi going away alone. because as someone pointed out, aziraphale gets the car keys right after muriel arrives, and obviously it's safer for him to take the bentley which will hopefully keep him safe as it usually keeps crowley safe; but at the same time, crowley has to give up what's basically an extension of him, the one protection he has ready, to shield himself or to run away with, should anything happen while the guardian of the eastern gate aziraphale isn't there.

and then crowley is alone, without aziraphale, without his comfort car, stranded in his favorite place which has ceased being safe and has become instead somewhat inhospitable because his mortal enemy now lives here too. and the way he's wearing no jacket, no waistcoat, and he's just so thin, and snake-like, especially standing there near gabriel, who is built like a tank and you just know that if he's right, if by any chance gabriel became hostile, even in a non-magic fight crowley wouldn't stand a chance.

and yet, AND YET, he's quietly explaining gravity to him, then trying (and failing) to make Maggie and Nina vavoom and also explaining THAT to jim (azi didn't stop to hear his very romantic plan so at least maybe does jim? Can I hear a fucking wahoo?!), and you can't help but feel how badly he needs to talk to someone, anyone nonhuman around who isn't immediately outright hostile, without censoring himself, without complicated feelings in between.

and then, the exact moment later, the temporary peace is broken by gabriel himself remembering something ominous and ONE MOMENT LATER YET shax is outside, complete with background screaming chorus, and then crowley is desperately trying to convince her they don't know where the archangel is, still playing cool but swallowing like that, and then she says Hell will declare war and he's just thrown for a moment and says "to me?!" in THAT voice! but it's even worse than that, because they'll actually declare war not on him but on his friend, and he could maybe cope with hell wanting his scalp (again) but Aziraphale's?! And then STILL keeping that facade and telling her that anyway the angel is inside in the basement, because he knows that Aziraphale is safe while he's inside the bookshop, and therefore trying to keep her off Aziraphale's back while he's outside and alone? Which btw doesn't work because she somehow knows anyway and proceeds on harassing the angel in the bentley the very next time we see him?! AND at the same time he's trying to keep her from realizing he is all alone, here, in the bookshop?!?

And he's been flippant throughout, but the moment she leaves he's like, wreaked?! And his first instinct is of course to go back at being mad and threatening at Jim, but even that feels pointless, because the machine is already in motion, and it's always too late, it's "we're doomed" all over again, isn't it? and the fact that he's shaking all over as he comes to this conclusion?

and then we learn that he hasn't slept all night after this, and as soon as Aziraphale is finally back he's immediately out as if he'd been looking out the window all night waiting for him to be back home safe, and for his car to be available for him to finally feel safe into, and i've seen people wonder why he bolts the fuck out of there as soon as azi is back as if he didn't need a breather after all he's been through, AND THE FACT THAT LATER ON HE TELLS AZIRAPHALE CaN I WaTcH AS IF HE'S AT ALL INTERESTED IN HIM RUNNING ERRANDS ACROSS ALL OF SOHO AND NOT IN FACT UNABLE TO LEAVE AZIRAPHALE'S SIDE NOW THAT HE'S FINALLY BACK AFTER A FULL DAY AWAY DURING WHICH HELL IS APPARENTLY ABOUT TO DECLARE WAR TO HIM SPECIFICALLY WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK

anyway what i want to say is this sequence is the epitome of anxiety and claustrophoby for me, and it plays like a horror movie. It's just A Lot

[baenyth]

Bethany's Bizarre Miraculous Fic Prompt: Hawkmoth Gets Owned By Various Fictional Detectives

Basically I want to see Hawkmoth/Shadowmoth/Poopmoth/Monarch fail more since he kinda sorta won last season. And it's also crossovers where different fictional detectives (or just people on the Kira case square,) out Hawkmoth as Gabriel Agreste once and for all and hopefully do similar stuff such as outing Lila as a liar, dragging down other corrupt adults like Tomoe and Audrey, etc. and also just various funny moments with these characters interacting with the Miracucast. Here's some ideas I have from characters I know or are just interested in:

Lieutenant Columbo. I already made a post detailing it.

L from Death Note. I haven't watched Death Note, but if the memeposts are to be believed, he would outthink Gabriel Agreste at every turn. Probably ask him to show what's behind his ascot.

Shuichi Saihara from Danganronpa V3. Aside from him deducing Gabriel as Hawkmoth with the help from his friends, imagine the shenanigans. Gonta being ecstatic for the bug-themed heroes and how nicely they treat the purified butterflies. Kokichi takes down Lila by being Kokichi. Tenko is aware of the plot and tries to get Marigami together and make them kiss, alongside getting an Julerose kiss. Kiibo and Markov bond. So do Kaito and Rose. Kirumi somehow becomes mayor of Paris.

The Scooby Gang. In general I like the concept of silly guys managing to defeat Hawkmoth. They would accidentally find the secret elevator to Emile's pod and manage to use Ladybug and Chat Noir as bait for a trap and at the end, (since I like to imagine they're meddling adults at this point,) Gabriel Agreste grumbles that "at least it wasn't those meddling kids Ladybug and Chat Noir." They also take down the rest of Paris's elite because that's who the villains of Scooby Doo are.

The Duwang Gang. I think Kwamis and Miraculous heroes can see stands, but I'm unsure about akumatized people. Maybe. It turns out Crazy Diamond can heal people wounded by the Peacock but they pull the plug on Emile for the health of everyone. Rohan Kishibe uses Heaven's Door on the Miracukids and gets into accidental meta commentary upon discovering the full love square. He also uses Heaven's Door on Luka and it's sheet music. Maybe let Yukako join in too because of how much of a romancefest this show is and also because I like her and she had such a big presence in Great Days. Gabriel Agreste ends up with a similar fate to Yoshikage Kira, being surrounded by our heroes and helpless to do anything.

Sam and Max. I don't know much about them other that they're 1. funny guys, and 2. might just end up hitting Gabriel Agreste with their car.

Steve from Blue's Clues. Aside from the inherent humor of an educational kids show host taking down a terrorist supervillain, it also implies Blue knows who Hawkmoth is. Steve sits on the thinking chair to deduce Hawkmoth's identity and where he's hiding.

Courage the Cowardly Dog. Maybe Muriel and Eustace are dead and he was sent to live with Mylene and her dad. I feel like they'd get along well. Or maybe they're still alive and just visiting Paris and Muriel and Eustace are staying with Mylene and her dad. Either way I think this should take place around season 5 because the alliance ring works well with Courage's themes of paranoia over something supernatural putting your family at risk.

Agent P. Maybe Hawkmoth gets so desperate he gets Doctor Doofenshmirtz to build a wife-revive inator only for Emile to end up in another coma after accidentally pressing the self-destruct button on said inator. No one recognizes Agent P without his hat because this is Miraculous and people are dumb. Perry gets to beat the stuffing and tar out of Hawkmoth. Doof betrays him when he learns about how shitty of a dad he is. The miraculous heroes are allowed into OWCA on account of the animal theming.

The Smiling Friends. It starts off with a mission involving all of the main four helping Marinette smile and spirals down from there.

Not Batman. I've had enough Miraculous-Batman crossovers for one eternity.

[dalliancekay]

Religious Trauma and the GO Universe

I must admit I don't really understand what people mean by religious trauma in GO context.

As someone who was deeply religious as a child/teenager (please imagine any and all problems that might stem from that) and then left church and faith completely around my mid 20s (because they are awful and a lie) I don't really see how it relates to A&C only cos in their universe, God and Heaven and Hell exist. So they can't stop believing in them and find a different way to live etc, like people who leave religions and cults do. If they try to escape or disobey, they will get punished. Both of them. For different reasons, but both of them.

To me, their trauma is more akin to stemming from family-ish trauma. They belong to what is most like a mafia to me (although I have called it dictatorship or like @tiggety-boo recently mentioned to me, a slavery). They were born into it and can't escape because it encompasses everything. Az clearly knew they aren't as benevolent as they paint themselves for a LONG time. He's so anxious over angel!Crowley's innocent remarks in Before the Beginning, already knowing some things are better left unsaid.

(who made you this anxious already baby angel)

Crowley then somehow (we don't know how) ended up in the faction that split from the main, but that one ends up being in many ways worse. While he can now curse Heaven and call them out for being awful, he still has to do what his bosses say or get punished.

So what I'm saying is that religious trauma to me, implies being lied to about something that does not exist and can be ignored. Being manipulated and led to worldviews that are based on something that is imaginary (and needlessly cruel) and coming to terms with the fact of being lied to (even if indirectly). But what Az and Crowley deal with (to me) is more like hoping to break off from family that has no understanding of you, how you feel, think, what you want or your different views - there's no hope they will even try to understand and are just awful (while painting themselves as the good ones in Heaven's case).

I just don't see Az 'believing' in Heaven's goodness and needing to learn how shit they are. As I often see in comments and metas etc. I don't see him fighting within himself to stop trusting them. He knows they should be good and he would like them to be, yes. Absolutely. He would love for the stuff Heaven says they are to be true (this is where his complicated relationship to shades of grey and his learning path to understand this via humanity and with Crowley, comes in - but that's another story). Aziraphale pays lip service to Heaven if he must (to keep safe his little life on Earth) but he absolutely knows the whole time that they (or at least the higher ones, not angels like Muriel) are rotten.

I also feel like people who see Aziraphale’s behaviour as simply being repressed or needing to overcome or admit his own feelings to himself… have never lived through, or considered times when people had to hide their true relationships and true feelings under all kinds of complicated behaviours and lies where they could claim plausible deniability - about their dear ‘friend’ (or housemate) in fear of punishment for their beloved and themselves.

Now Crowley, whatever happened around his Fall, maybe he was lied to, maybe he was just curious and didn't know what exactly he was getting into (I'm going by his remarks), maybe he was simply angry; is deeply disappointed that it turned out so badly and also that he was so completely abandoned by God (who was supposed to love him).

I also feel that people often skip and simplify his relationship to Heaven and God. That Crowley tried to speak to Her in S1 too. Not just Az has tried. That his outburst about forgiveness in the bandstand wasn't as offhand and flippant as he tried to make it. It hurts him. It's why Aziraphale (very thoughtfully imo) changed his 'may God forgive yous' to 'I forgive you'. Crowley's whole world is now Aziraphale really. Not very healthy maybe, but at least we know Az would never stop loving him. Even if he had to leave. Crowley knows he can trust him. It's why he stayed by the car. It's what he spent 6000 years re-learning. Trusting.

Aziraphale (and Crowley) did something that was supposed to be impossible. However much or little they did for the Armageddon't (and I think they did plenty, unlike some memes I've seen), what everyone understood was going to happen, as based on the Plan, Great or Ineffable as it was, did not happen. And no, I think Crowley also did not expect they can actually stop it when he first asked. He just voiced a question, as he is want to do, being who he is. And got Aziraphale in on it. Whether he was just hoping to give it a go or hoping to spend more time with the angel in the last few years they had, or both. But I don't think he truly believed they can stop the Antichrist and the War that was in the Plan before he set alight the little corner of the universe he's been working on. And after? I can imagine how the endless gears in Aziraphale's head kept turning those 4 years after they attempted to kill him. He now had an inkling that bigger things could change. I don't think that he thought he will be the one to do it, until he was forced into that lift however.

Anyway, I went off on a tangent.... to me GO has religious undertones, sure. But I've always (in spite of my own background) found the story more akin to those stories wondering whether fate is set in stone or are we able to direct what happens to us. And don't get me started now on the question of Free Will.... P.S. I know GO fans come from many backgrounds, I know many are atheists, many belong to (and have various complicated relationships to) various religions and many are agnostic. I honestly do not mean to offend anyone by my remarks. Everyone has their own journey after all. Just trying to make sense of mine I guess.

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

Hii! if you haven't already, could you do something with an MC with social anxiety? not just shy, more something like Muriel, or even worse if you dare. thank you in advance if you do.

The Arcana HCs: When MC has social anxiety

Julian

He generally comes across a little larger-than-life and he learned quickly that he'd need to tone it waaay down if you were going to feel safe enough around him to give him a proper investigation

This did worry him a little. He's used to convincing new friends he's worth liking by playing up his strengths - which does the opposite for you. How does he know if his nerdy, stripped-back self is good?

It's good enough for you, apparently

Once he skipped the desperate-to-please stage and settled into treating you like part of his family, he became one of the best people you could ever ask for steering you through social issues

He's always at your side in a crowd, one long arm draped around your shoulders while he diverts all the attention to himself and mindfully avoids directing it to you unless you ask for it

Very understanding and kind when the anxiety gets really bad

If it's an in-the-moment onset of the shakes and spiraling thoughts, he'll help you ground yourself by sitting front of you and draping his coat around you and telling you whatever tall tale has the best shot at making you forget long enough to laugh

Asra

The last thing they ever want to do is cause you to suffer. Unfortunately, that is an ongoing symptom of the human condition and your shop literally requires some level of customer service

Fortunately, between your shy demeanor, your quiet neighborhood, and the confusion around your reappearance after the plague, it's rare to say much beyond "please" and "thank you"

Your friendship with Selasi is the result of months of effort and it's one of the most rewarding things you've ever done

Going into social situations with Asra often involves disguise spells, if it feels less like you're being stared at when you have a new face

He spent the first few months supporting you physically, and grounding touch is as easy for him as breathing. He'll hold your hand, brush shoulders, or even rub your back to soothe you

And yes, years of living on the street kick in whenever you decide to brave a festival or Palace event with them. They'll have all the escape routes clocked and ready to hit when you need them

Regular check ins - small things like trading a gentle squeeze, or bigger, like finding a quiet spot and asking how you're doing

Nadia

She sees you, in all your brilliance and value, and then takes a good hard look at your social anxiety like it's personally offended her

You are one of a kind and yet there's a voice living in your head constantly trying to isolate and deprecate you. She doesn't appreciate that very much, she doesn't appreciate that at all

She wants you in therapy, or at least the closest version of it that she can get for you. She makes time for you, but her role demands enough of her to know that you'll need support from others too

Which isn't to say she doesn't support you

Anytime you have a conversation you're worried about, she'll practice it with you ahead of time. She's done her public speaking classes, she can coach you in effective communication

Always has accommodations for you at events just in case

Side rooms to duck into if you need it, rehearsed excuses to leave that any other partygoers will have precedent to believe, etc

Knows she can't protect you from the heightened exposure of being her partner, and is deeply committed to supporting you in turn for choosing the extra difficulties to be with her

Muriel

Oh. He gets it. Let's stay away from crowds forever

You both ended up having to work through a fair amount of social anxiety in the events surrounding your get-together. You met new people together, fought in a war together ...

Not to mention that you literally helped him host half the city in the woods around his hut when they needed a place to camp. It was like a crash course in exposure therapy with a grumpy teacher

(Un)surprisingly enough, you both found it was easier to be social when you did it in solidarity with or protection for each other

It's a lot easier to answer a stranger's question when they asked Muriel first and you watched him slowly freeze up, and he finds he feels much the same about you

Thankfully, the life you've built together now is pretty kind to you both. The only time either of you have to brave crowds is the occasional shopping trip, and then you have each other for it

The friendships you've made over time are also strong enough for the people who love you to happily accommodate you

In fact, Nadia much prefers the quiet picnics to a gaudy ballroom

Portia

Heartbroken. Genuinely devastated for you

She understands shyness on a conceptual level, but as soon as you gave her a glimpse inside your head, she bundled you into a hug

Community and social connections have been her salvation. When she lost her family, she found the grandmas, when she went searching for her brother, she had Mazelinka and her crew

Even when she was a brand-new immigrant in Vesuvia, she had the Palace staff to bond and find family with. And your brain sabotages that anytime you try to reach out for it? That's awful!

Can and will hype you up any chance she gets. She thinks the way you just said that was super kind and appropriate and that nobody was offended. She thinks your smile didn't look fake at all

She thinks you articulated your thoughts perfectly. She thinks you made really good contributions to the conversation. She thinks you asking that person if they were okay was so kind and loving

Will not hesitate to ask you if there's anyone you want to befriend, befriend them for you, and have them over so you can get to know them one on one, before she invites them to a small gathering

Lucio

One of the most socially unbothered people you've ever met

He's an extrovert. He's loud. He's not everyone's cup of tea and yet his ego is so fully inflated he could probably stand to be just a little more self-conscious of his actions and social presence

(deep down there is a well of insecurity but it's so buried it'll be years before he starts to seriously address it)

Somehow, it actually kind of ... helps?

You can voice the most self-deprecating thought your anxiety decided to scream into your mind that day and he'll brush it off like it's the most ridiculous conspiracy theory he's ever heard

You think you might have offended someone? You're the kindest person he knows! He's pretty convinced that's impossible!

You think everyone in that group you just talked to hated you? Why?? You didn't do anything wrong!

There are times when it can feel almost scary, but Lucio has a level of blind faith and confidence in who you are as a good and loveable person that makes him immune to absorbing any self-criticism

He thinks of you as The Best and he's loud and proud about it