#Moms be doing the most awful shit and then they get to forget abt it. What if i killed you | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cdroloisms · 3 years ago

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idk why but i imagined vegas 2.0 as two soccer moms (the politics bois) trying to outdo each other while their sons are dragged into it (green bois) in a rlly fvcked way. e.g.

maybe big q reconsidering dream's usefulness by saying sam's enough as protection and has other things to offer to the team as well. wilbur steps in by suggesting a duel between sam and dream then, to prove it then. maybe while it happens, wilbur whispers to quackity a list of what is still physically broken abt dream post prison (so many unhealed bones, barely healed muscle, he can barely stomach food so he had like 1 steak in the past few days, etc.) and of course, he mentions dream's most powerful asset, the revive book :)

-🐇

LMAOO

this is hilarious and also accurate as hell ,, thank you anon because the image of c!wilbur and c!quackity as PTA moms is completely sending me. this prompt (as most vt2 related things are) was really fun !! it also kinda ran away from me, which is why this ended up being almost 6k words instead of my usual 1-2k for asks, but i hope you enjoy it regardless :]

tws: implied torture/abuse, death, violence, blood, injuries, conditioning, dehumanization, panic attacks, emotional distress, trauma, unhealthy relationships (so many unhealthy relationships), smoking, dark contents, dark themes, vt2 au is always really dark so definitely proceed with caution !! dark portrayals of c!quackity, c!sam, c!wilbur, and c!dream

It starts, as many things do nowadays, with a board meeting - which seems to be as much of a sign as any that everything is going to go to shit. Board meetings for Quackity, much like Wilbur’s stupid group therapy sessions, are just a thinly veiled attempt for the two to fight for control of pretty much everything - ranging from the casino schedules to the laws still being written for Las Nevadas to what food to stock in the vending machines. As Sam is still sitting on his false throne of moral superiority and therefore less inclined to indulge himself in the same blatant corruption that characterizes their discussions, and Dream - more than anything - knows his place (which hardly gives him any position to wrangle for power among the likes of Wilbur and Quackity), the fights for control more or less remain restricted between the two. More often than not, they devolve into proving their superiority over the other by using their control of Dream (which naturally never means anything remotely good for him as a consequence) so when Quackity strolls over, all tight-lipped smiles and a cigarette held between clenched fingers, Dream really doesn’t feel anything other than dread.

Still, orders by Quackity are still orders - Dream knows this fact better than he knows that he’s alive and breathing, better than the fact that he’s out of the prison, better than he knows his own goddamn name - and Dream is far too well-trained to ever consider trying to rebel. So when the time comes - 7:30 pm, sharp - Dream is in his chair, spine straight and head alert like a goddamn dog, and he waits.

It doesn’t take long for the others to arrive. Sam comes over first, leveling him with a heavy, distrustful stare as he sits down in the chair across from Dream, the expression nearly enough for Dream to roll his eyes if it weren’t for the fear that rockets through him, still, at the sight of the Warden so close to him. Sam has made it more than clear from the very beginning that he has no trust at all for Dream, that if he had his way then Dream would be locked up for the rest of eternity in a labyrinth of blackstone and obsidian, forever guarded by his ever-present supervision. Dream feels his ears burning with heat as he dips his eyes low to the surface of the table, wanting no more than to curl up and hide under the scrutiny of the Warden’s glare.

Quackity enters next, throwing open the door of the conference room loud enough to make Dream jump out of his seat, looking at him with an upturned corner of his lip when he comes back to himself enough to notice. Dream stifles a shudder at his visible good mood, all-too-aware of what that usually meant for him in the cell, stiffening further with a growing ringing to his ears as Sam and Quackity talk and Quackity sweeps past his side to get to his seat at the head of the table, carelessly brushing his fingers along the back of Dream’s neck in a way that makes him freeze, stock-still, in his chair - feeling his fingertips ease themselves over the ridge present there from a thick band of scar tissue, a deep, jagged thing that had been carved from the blunter back edge of Quackity’s axe when he had lost his temper and let the thing slam against the back of his neck, hard enough that it probably would’ve paralyzed him completely if it weren’t for Sam’s use of almost a full chest of regens. Quackity remains over him for a few more seconds, leaning over his chair to talk to Sam as he runs a light, possessive hand over the topmost bumps of Dream’s spine, before settling over into his chair, watching him with a small smirk as he keeps a white-knuckled grip on the edge of the table.

Dream hates the prickling shame and terror that keeps his muscles tense as he stares at the table’s surface, still feeling the ghost of fingers tracing over skin and bone along the back of his neck, keeps his burning eyes trained on the surface of solid wood as he tries to steady his breaths. It’s all he can do to press down his flinch when Quackity, with a frustrated yell, slams his fist against the table a few minutes later, rage simmering underneath his words as he speaks.

“Where the hell is Wilbur?” His glare slides across the room, landing on Dream, making him shrink back in his seat, heart thudding in his ears. Quackity doesn’t stop staring at him even as he pulls a cigarette and lighter from his pants pocket, lighting it and bringing it to his lips and letting the silver-grey threads of smoke fill the room and press against the inside of Dream’s lungs. “It’s ten minutes til 8 - I don’t have time for this bullshit.”

Sam digs his fingers into his temples, already looking exhausted. “If you want, Q, we can always start without him and catch him up later. Depends on you.”

“No, then I’ll have to repeat myself and it’ll be pointless and ugh,” Quackity makes a vaguely frustrated noise as he finally turns his eyes over to Sam, making Dream’s shoulders shudder as he finally finds the air to take a breath, “We’ll just have to wait. Fucking idiot. I knew I shouldn’t have worked with any of these fuckers.”

In true Wilbur fashion, it isn’t until fifteen minutes later when the taller man finally makes an appearance, the entire time tense as hell as Quackity takes slow, steady drags of his cigarette and taps his fingers impatiently against the table’s surface. He offers one to Sam, who goes on to decline, making a short quip telling Quackity to watch his health for the future that promptly falls flat. Dream thinks he’s a fucking hypocrite, considering his whole deal with weednip or whatever Ant has on him, but doesn’t voice the thoughts as he sinks down in his chair, wishing more than anything to disappear. Against the fabric of his shirt, the right side of his chest itches, and he presses his palm against the place where he knows there is a small, irregular grid of pockmarked scars from when Quackity had taken smoke breaks in the middle of sessions.

“There you all are,” Wilbur smiles as he slides into the room, a covered metal tray held in his hands as he kicks the door closed and slides the tray onto the table with an awful screech. “I’m sorry for being late,” he continues, sounding not very sorry at all, “but I made some food to make up for it!”

He takes off the cover with a flourish; underneath, sunny yellow squares, nearly blindly bright, look up blankly under the conference room’s overly harsh lighting. They smell sugary and vaguely sour, stinging his nose slightly, and seem to be coated with a fine dusting of powdered sugar.

“Lemon bars!” Wilbur grins, just left of sincere, “they’re gluten-free!”

“God,” Quackity laughs, sounding slightly incredulous, shaking his head. Dream’s gut rolls at the sound, Wilbur’s smile growing wider, even more dangerous, at the tone. It’s familiar, the way the two of them challenge each other, and in a rare moment of solidarity Dream watches from the corner of his eyes as Sam’s shoulders hunch as well. The two of them always bring trouble, even normally, but when they’re in this mood? Actively challenging each other, toeing the line, trying to find the limits and push them just because they can? Dream shivers in his seat, grip tightening on his own arms; this, he knows, is when they are at their most dangerous - and he has the scars to prove it.

“Gluten-free, huh? Really leaning into the whole ‘PTA mom’ schtick today, aren’t you?” Quackity smirks. “Should I call you Linda from now on?”

“I don’t know, Quackity, I was just thinking that I would make a little healthier treat for all of us, you know?” Wilbur brushes off the remark easily, taking a seat and immediately kicking his feet up onto the table. “If you want it, of course. I would hardly want to get in the way of your professionalism, Mr. President- do you have one of those? Or are you going for a more authoritarian approach”

“Fighting words from someone who rigged an election as President,” Quackity drawls, “and couldn’t even win it, might I add. “

“Oh, Big Q! You fail to understand, I wasn’t criticizing you at all,” Wilbur smiles, jagged, “we agree, I believe, on the failures of democracy. Unless you’ve forgotten our conversation, already?”

“Of course not,” Quackity snorts, and Dream doesn’t miss how his gaze shifts towards the side of the room, landing on Dream and making him curl further in his seat. “I’ll save you from me trying to pick your brain, this time, but don’t worry. You make yourself…rather hard to forget.”

Wilbur claps, seeming satisfied with this round of verbal sparring, and the sharp sound of his hands meeting together nearly has Dream jumping in his seat. “So! Lemon bars- does anyone want any?”

Dream is keenly aware of two pairs of eyes landing on him, Wilbur and Quackity watching for his reaction with bated breath and narrowed eyes. Panic crawls up his throat; he knows the purpose behind their stares, knows that he’s once again become the object of one of their power struggles. Quackity’s orders rattle in his brain, his thoughts a messy jumble of pins all knocked loose from his time in the prison, hopelessly unorganized and running on little more than instinct. Wilbur is expecting him to eat, to give into his sweet pastries and sweeter words; the lesson not to eat, move, think without permission, hammered into him between chunks of potato and battered ribs and blood gathered in the crevices of his skin, keeps his hands at his sides instead of reaching towards the pastries still set in the middle of the table. Even with Quackity at the opposite side of the room, Dream swears that he can still feel the pressure of a hand against the back of his neck, pressing just hard enough to make itself known from the feeling of fingers pressing into either side of his spine - he doesn’t even quite feel himself shaking his head, only really realizes what he’s done when he hears Wilbur sigh in frustration and meets Quackity’s satisfied gaze.

“I’ll take one,” Sam says, sounding exhausted, eyes flitting from Wilbur to Quackity to Dream with an increasingly long-suffering expression. His face twists around the first bite of the bright yellow pastry, nose scrunching as he puts it down, missing a half-moon bite along one corner, and drags his fingers over the table to ease off the remnants of powdered sugar. Wilbur watches him, seeming amused, and Quackity rolls his eyes as he pulls a binder out of his inventory.

“Now that everyone is finally here,” he starts, directing a particularly dead-eyed stare at Wilbur, “we can finally get on with the meeting. I was thinking we could go over the budget, today, if that’s alright with the rest of you.”

It sounds innocent enough - which is the first sign of many that this meeting, whatever it is, is going to be anything but pleasant. The grin that steadily grows on Quackity’s face does nothing to assuage Dream’s anxieties, only pushing them higher as the man flips open the binder and messes with it for a few seconds longer before seemingly finding what he’s looking for.

“I think we all know that until Sam finishes with the bank, funds around here are going to be a little bit tight,” Quackity begins, waiting for all of them to nod before continuing, “And we really need to save wherever we can. I recounted the budget yesterday, just to make sure that we’re all on track, and- well,”

Quackity points to a circled series of red numbers that Dream doesn’t understand but can assume mean little good for them. Sam makes a low, considering noise, sounding strangely concerned, and Wilbur actually seems to close his mouth and lean forward in curiosity.

“We have a deficit,” Quackity continues when they’ve all settled back into their seats, “and we’ll get it all back once Sam gets the bank up and running, but for now our funds are...limited. I don’t want to stop progress on Las Nevadas, of course, we really don’t have time to waste. So I thought we’d have a meeting today to discuss the budget and eliminate any expenses that we might find-” Quackity gestures with a smooth twirl of his wrist, “expendable.”

Sam hums. “Do you have anything in mind, Quackity?”

“A few,” Quackity flips to the next page, where he’s seemingly jotted a few notes - different things that they can put off for the moment, it seems, and the money that would be saved for forgoing them temporarily. Dream reads down the list quickly, stilling at the last item.

“Quackity,” Sam sounds twenty times more tired already when he speaks, tone flat and a little irritated. “Why is Dream on the list?”

Quackity shrugs. “Hear me out, now- most of our money right now is going into living expenses for the four of us. Having more people here, until everything becomes more sustainable, is a huge drain on our resources. I’m just listing all our options.”

“So what do you want to do?” Sam huffs. “Throw him back in Pandora?”

Quackity shakes his head.

“Wilbur does have the revive book knowledge, you know,” he says, and Dream’s blood runs cold. He can’t run, can’t move; he’s stuck in his seat, heart hammering faster in his chest as the other three hardly spare him a second glance. Sam purses his lips, a considering expression flashing over his face, as Quackity presses on. “Seriously- listen, Sam. There’s nothing that Dream is really offering, at the moment, that the rest of us can’t handle. Wilbur has the revive book, you can act as security to take out any threats - really, we shouldn’t be pissing anyone off until everything officially opens, and we can always retrieve him then when we need him. He’ll be out of the way, which means he won’t be able to start any fucking trouble,” Quackity laughs, short. “It’s a win-win.”

“I don’t know, Quackity,” Sam says, the words slow, but the tone is familiar enough for Dream to know that he’s already mostly given in. “It’s a risk, isn’t it? None of us but Dream have really used the revive book, before.”

Wilbur doesn’t even look at him when he chirps a reply. “That won’t be a problem, Sam. I’d be very happy to test it out, if you want.”

Quackity leans forward, and Dream nearly gags; he’s preening in his spot, eyes dancing as he smiles up at Sam. “Anything else you can think of?”

“I don’t know,” Sam trails off, and Dream looks down, only barely staving off the panic squeezing around his lungs and tears burning in his eyes. It’s nothing he hasn’t envisioned before, nothing he hasn’t expected, but this- he feels like such a fool, for hoping- “If we get ambushed, Q, I really don’t know if gear is going to be enough. You remember what Technoblade did last time.”

Quackity huffs, sounding annoyed, but nods to concede the point. “That is...fair. But then again, we don’t exactly know how good Dream is either, do we?” Quackity finally leans over to look at him, and Dream feels himself choke on his own breath at the dangerous gleam in Quackity’s eyes, all-too-familiar in their scrutiny, looking at him the same way they had pinned him to the floor of his obsidian-walled hell. “Anything to say, Dream?”

“I-” The words shake on Dream’s tongue, and he only barely manages a dry swallow as he struggles through the rest of his sentence, shrinking back from the heavy weight of three pairs of eyes fixed on his own, “I can be useful, s-” he only barely manages to bite down the word, a new wave of shame making him shrink back further past the fear. Quackity’s lip twitches upward.

Wilbur twirls a pencil in one hand, looking spectacularly bored; Dream’s chest shrieks with a harsh spike of envy at his composure. “How about you prove it?” His eyes are laughing when Dream gets a good look at them, amusement clear at the idea. “Put on a show?”

Quackity rolls his eyes. “What do you have in mind?”

“You want to know if Sam can serve as an adequate replacement for Dream’s combat prowess, no?” Wilbur leans back in his chair as he talks, still focused on spinning his pencil over and between his fingers, “Why doesn’t he prove it? Let them duel, one on one. If Sam kills Dream, then you’re right, we’re done, and we can all move on with our days. If Dream wins, then he’s proved his worth, and we can figure out the rest of the budget after. What do you think?”

Quackity’s lips press together, seeming displeased, but he doesn’t say anything in return. Sam, ever practical, drums his fingers against the table.

“That sounds...fair,” Sam purses his lips. “How would we judge this? Equal gear?”

Wilbur only smiles wider as he shakes his head. “I was thinking we would make it a little more accurate to reality, if Dream’s services were truly to be needed. Sam, you can keep your own gear, and Dream should use his own. I guess on your end we can fight until you yield, but for him…”

The words are left unsaid, but Dream flexes his hands underneath the table as he catches onto the implications. For him, it’s a fight to the death.

Sam shrugs. “That works for me. Dream?”

He doesn’t really have a choice, does he? “Okay.”

“Wonderful!” Wilbur claps, bringing his hands to his chest and looking thoroughly thrilled at the prospects of the potential duel. Quackity glares at Dream but doesn’t say a word, and Dream hunches into himself, nearly folding himself in half as he ducks as far as he can down his seat. Sam pulls out his sword, flipping it around and testing its weight, and Dream doesn’t quite manage to suppress his full-body shudder at the sight. “Let’s get started, then.”

They move out in a roughly single-file line out of the conference room, Wilbur making idle chatter as Sam continues to examine his armor and weapons as they walk. They settle into an open space in the still-unfinished casino that Wilbur looks around for a second and then deems appropriate for the duel. Sam sets down an enderchest to gather his necessary materials, and Dream settles in front of it himself afterwards, shifting the lid open with shaking hands as he tries to work through his inventory.

He’s started the process of building up his gear again in his spare time, but he’s not had the time to finish gathering netherite for both himself and Wilbur - Wilbur meets his eyes with a sly wink before equipping the set of netherite armor that Dream had crafted for him, and Dream stifles a desperate snarl. He doesn’t even have the other set (still a gleaming blue from unplated diamond) enchanted, outside of a Sharpness book that he had slapped onto a diamond axe. He gathers the rest of his supplies with careful hands, trying to press down the increasing trembling of his limbs from his growing panic, flexing his arm around the weight of a shield once again and pocketing steaks and golden apples from his hoard.

He has no potions, no good weapons, not even a properly enchanted crossbow to offer the slightest bit of an advantage. Dream lets his eyes flick up to where Sam is waiting at the opposite side of the room, standing up straight with enchanted netherite covering him head to toe and a familiar axe slung over his shoulder, and tries not to break down right then and there. It’s too familiar, too reminiscent of obsidian walls and netherite pressed against his ribs and demands that he behave, and despite the glittering white walls and high ceiling and cold night air he swears he could fall just from the memories alone. Drowning within them, he distantly remembers a duel long-past under a bright blue sky, Sam laughing under a swirl of potion particles on the grass surrounding the Community House lake, and wonders which of the memories hurt more.

“Dream,” Quackity snaps, and Dream stills in his place, slamming the lid of the enderchest shut as his heart hammers in his ears. Quackity watches him intently, expression twisted in disappointment, and some beaten, instinctual part of him whines uncomfortably at the sight. “Hurry up.”

Dream nods, because of course he does, and stands with the results of his mad scramble to gather anything that could be useful in the duel to come - a few gapples, steaks, a sword, a bow lacking any enchantments at all, and an axe and shield. It’s a rather pathetic ensemble, but it’ll be enough. It’ll have to be enough.

“Ready?” Wilbur takes place as referee, standing off to the side with a smile on his face as Dream stands across from Sam, holding his axe with a white-knuckled grip as the Warden - expression unreadable through the shadow of his helmet and the mask fixed over his face - squares his own stance in preparation for the fight. “Good luck.”

Wilbur’s arm cuts a line in the air as it drops, and the Warden explodes into action, lumbering forward as he raises his axe over his head to bring it down. Dream tumbles in the opposite direction, letting a long held back, battle-trained part of himself take over as he rights himself back on his feet, swinging up his shield to catch on the downward arc of Warden’s Hammer, frantically pressing back the dregs of fear and panic staining the corners of his vision black as he moves.

The Warden hits slow but hits hard, too big and bulky to really avoid any quick attacks but too well-armored to be easily defeated despite that. He’s a classic tank - Dream skitters out of the way of another hit as he reaches for memories of him that won’t leave him gasping, information on his opponent that didn’t come from within the prison and all its horrors.

He’d dueled Sam before, he knows; it wasn’t the same, as Sam was trying out a Turtle Master potion and intent on proving the superiority of Resistance IV against Dream’s own combat prowess. He’d failed, then; Dream forcefully steadies another breath as the sound of the Warden’s armor clanking against the ground almost sends him into another panic. He’ll have to fail now, too.

Fortunately, he’s been allowed food to heal - without it, this fight would probably be near impossible. As it is, even without the potion, the principles of this duel are the same. Dream swings up his axe, catching the blade hurling towards him in the crook where the head meets the handle just long enough to pull himself out of the way and let the Warden’s weapon fall uselessly to the ground. Dream raises his head in the second he has, tracing his gaze over the Warden’s armor in search for places to exploit. Even the best defenses aren’t perfect. All he needs to do is survive for long enough to chip through it.

A fumbled dodge leads to the Warden’s blade skimming past his skin, carving a thin red line in the skin of his upper arm. He hisses as he dives out of the way of the next blow, the twinges of pain from the area almost enough to make his vision unfocused, almost enough to send him tumbling head-first into the part of him screaming submit submit submit if you don’t fight back they won’t hurt you more. He grits his teeth as he swings forward, knocking away the axe coming towards him with his axe long enough to push forward with his shield and knock the Warden further away from him. He can’t afford to flinch, can’t afford to let fear take control of his movements as it has so many times before. The keening desperation running through his veins is familiar, but desperation can fall both ways, can make him fight or flee - and there’s only one real option that will end with him getting out of this alive.

Dream stands and forces himself to meet the next swing hurling towards him dead on, raising his shield to catch the blade and pushing forward past the shuddering shock in his left arm from the force of the blow. His own blade arcs downward in the next second, scraping against the Warden’s netherite armor with a metallic screech. He manages to get in two more blows before the Warden’s next attack has him backing away to dodge, shaking off his arm to get his shield ready for the next attack.

He has to stay on the offensive, keep pressing the Warden back and forcing the other to play defense. He’s still weak from the prison; in terms of brute strength, he’s no match from the Warden, not after months of starvation and torture stuck in a box with hardly enough room to stretch his legs. All he really has going for him is his speed and his experience, neither of which will do him any good if he teeters over the edge into the panic attack he’s been trying to hold off the entire time. Dream runs forward, not giving himself more than a second to breathe as he rushes the Warden once again, switching weapons mid-leap to a sword that will allow for quicker blows in the time that he has the Warden off-balance enough to attack freely. He scores a series of glancing hits on the Warden, none doing any major damage but altogether enough to make the Warden back off, wary, with a gasping note of pain, and Dream shakes his head to force himself to focus before running forward once more.

The Warden pulls out a shield of his own, and Dream switches back to the axe and swings it squarely into the shield, then twists himself around to the Warden’s unprotected back to catch him with another heavy blow that leaves him reeling in the second he takes to recover. He’s clearly untrained with a shield, his left arm clumsy as he tries to block Dream’s blows, and Dream uses the opportunity to score another few solid hits to the Warden’s sides and legs, getting a good blow with the blunt side of his axe into the back of one of his knees, leaving the warden limping when he pulls away.

Dream has hardly come off unscathed in the fight - he wheezes out a heavy breath through his teeth, chest aching from a hit that had broken one of his ribs. The exertion and anxiety still pressing at the back of his throat has left him light-headed, and he bites through a crisp, almost sickeningly-sweet bite of golden apple to close a wound bleeding sluggishly on his side. Neither of them can go on for much longer; the Warden’s grip tightens on his axe, and Dream swallows past the shudder that arises from the sight.

Once again, he raises his axe and runs into the fight, parrying the coming strike and twisting out of the way to strike at a joint of the Warden’s armor with the flat of his blade. The Warden’s arm raises, and Dream bites off a yelp of alarm as the handle of his axe is levied against his unarmored side, knocking him off-balance and falling back onto the ground, too disoriented to catch himself. He lands on his left arm, and his vision goes white as it gives out with a sharp crack.

Through half-lidded eyes, he can make out the Warden stalking closer, axe raised and ready to end the fight - end him. His chest shakes in a pathetic wheeze for breath, arm completely useless from where it’s screaming in pain underneath him. He needs to move, now, if he wants to survive this - fear swells forward, unhindered as his focus is broken by the vice grip the pain has on his skull - he’s shaking, now, the terror so familiar he can taste it - salt and iron and sticky-sweet health potions against the backs of his teeth-

The Warden raises his axe.

No.

Dream raises his sword just in time to catch the blade hurtling towards his neck, uses his foot to kick against the Warden’s grip on the handle. The axe clatters out of his grip, falls forward - Dream rolls away, breathing harshly around the pain threatening to make him black out. Unarmed, the Warden takes a second to grab a sword from his inventory while Dream forces himself back to his feet and kicks the axe as far away as he can.

He’s so flooded with panic he’s choking on it, broken arm hanging limply by his side as he charges forward, sword in hand. He won’t die, not after all this time, not after all this effort - he throws himself at the Warden, batters him with jabs and thrusts that force the other man to back away and parry, snarling wordlessly as he brings his sword to slash forward again and again.

His attacks are messy, uncoordinated, but the Warden is tired and disoriented from the loss of his weapon - he flinches back as Dream hits him in the jaw with the hilt of his sword, only barely matching his blows as he continues to push forward. Any hits that he scores on Dream are brushed off with a growl of pain and his sword moving even faster in his fury, and it’s not very long at all before he’s knocked flat on his back with a sweep of Dream’s legs, gasping for air as Dream pins him to the ground with a blade pressed against his neck.

Dream meets his wide eyes with his own, lips curled back in the same desperate rage that had moved him forwards despite the black creeping into the corners of his eyes and the lancing pain tying its strings around his neck and leaving him gasping for air. The sword in his hand bears threads of blood along its edge, pressing deeper into the Warden’s neck and drawing crimson up to the surface - a thousand fearful, angry thoughts swell up to the front of his skull in a singular, white-hot point. It is the Warden underneath his feet, at the end of his blade, cowering beneath him as he had cowered before - the Warden, the cause of his pain, the reason behind the ache in his gut and the stinging pains in his limbs and the piercing agony from his arm and chest. It would be so easy to push just a little harder, to press the sweet blue blade down and down and down until the Warden is gone and the Warden is dead and the Warden can’t hurt him anymore-

“Down, Dream,” Quackity snaps, and Dream backs off immediately, losing his grip on his sword as the command has him dragged back by the neck like an invisible leash and collar pulling him away. Sam settles back in a sitting position, still wide-eyed, wincing as he moves and bringing a golden apple from his inventory to heal the worst of his injuries.

“Eat,” Quackity commands again, and Dream only barely manages a stiff nod through the nausea and dread curling around his chest as the adrenaline begins to fade away, fumbling with the golden apple he finds in his inventory and nibbling at it to tide off the worst of the pain.

“Bravo, bravo,” Wilbur grins from the side, clapping slowly as he walks back into the middle of their makeshift arena - he’s taken his armor off again, but it doesn’t make the sight of him any less intimidating. “What a show! We should do that more often, what do you think?”

No, Dream almost screams, I can’t- but Quackity beats him to it, glaring at Wilbur with an incredulous expression.

“We don’t have the time to waste on your fucking ‘shows,’” he snaps, crossing his arms as he swings his gaze over to Dream. “Fine. You’ve proved yourself. Now hurry up - we have to clean up all of this shit and then figure out the rest of this fucking budget.”

Dream pulls himself to his feet, watching from the side as the Warden does the same.

“Make yourself useful and clean off all your fucking blood from the floor,” Quackity meets his eyes with a vicious glare, waiting until he stammers his way through an agreement before turning to the other two in the room. “Sam, Wilbur - with me. I want to get this money issue figured out tonight.”

Dream watches them go as he shuffles to the cleaning closet, feeling a shudder crawl up his spine once they’re out of sight. Make yourself useful, Quackity’s voice rings in his head, and Dream bites his lip, only stopping when he accidentally breaks through skin and the taste of blood floods his tongue.

He has a feeling that those words are going to haunt him for a long, long time.

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moonlit-imagines · 4 years ago

Text

Headcanons for being Tony Stark’s stepkid

Tony Stark x Potts!child!reader

warnings: alcohol mention

a/n: i rushed these so bad i just wanted to post dhhshsnsna

prompt: y/n is pepper’s kiddo!

it was just you and your mom for a long time

pepper and y/n potts

she couldn’t keep up with you sometimes, too busy dealing with the manchild that was mister anthony edward stark

speaking of—

“uh, who’s this?” -tony, pointing at you

“mr. stark, i am so sorry, the school closed because some kid set fire to the science lab and i didn’t have time to find a sitter—”

“no, it’s fine, no need to apologize. hey, kid, you wanna sit in the boss’s chair? i’ll let you run the company for the day!” *cue you nodding* “sweet, would you mind that, ms. potts?”

“oh? no, not at all” *mouthing* “thank you”

“so, uh, what’s your name? no, don’t tell me: ketchup.”

*giggling* “y/n”

“no way! that was my second guess!”

tony wasn’t used to being around kids

he had no idea that he was actually kind of good around them

despite a few minor hiccups

“you sit in my chair and im gonna spin you around, sound like fun?”

he spun you around WAY too fast and you were diiiiizzy, also you fell off the chair

“don’t tell your mom that we did that. she may be my assistant, but she scares the shit out of me. also, don’t say ‘shit’”

dude he just thought you were a cool kid!!!

“hey, you know, ms. potts, you dont really need to hire a babysitter anymore. y/n’s doing just fine hanging out here”

“how am i not surprised you befriended an actual child?”

she still took him up on his offer, you seemed pretty happy

when your mom worked late, you passed out in tonys office

tony and you had your own little secrets (like falling off the spinning chair), tony showed you around stark tower, and you practically lived there

“i got you a happy meal from mcdonalds!” -tony every day after your school

in all honesty, you weren’t the “popular” kid at school...not even close

but tony made up for it

“y/n! i found this old racecar toy in a box of old stuff, you wanna hold onto it for me?”

you kind of grew up in stark tower tbh? it was pretty cool

and as you grew up, you started to notice more

“mr. tony, do you have a crush on my mom?”

“do i what? no, no, i do—who the hell am i kidding? you caught me”

“called it!”

after that you did everything to try and get them together

when your mom was talking to tony, you would stand behind her and wiggle your eyebrows and just taunt tony endlessly

no! tony cannot remember your mom’s birthday for the life of him! you are his calendar now

“dude, why dont you just ask JARVIS to remind you?”

“i may be a genius, but that doesn’t mean i have common sense”

“wise words, sir” -JARVIS

when tony disappeared for 3 months you were so sad???? like you were not okay at all

and when he came back, he literally exited the plane saying “WHERE’S ‘T-POTT??’”

(your wonderful nickname. ‘t’ for ‘tony jr.’ and ‘pott’ for ‘potts’)

“my mom missed you”

“oh, i bet she did”

“you turned my child into you, tony. i will never forgive you for this”

“well, at least y/n was here to fill in for me, huh?”

tony wanted to show you the arc reactor but he was actually afraid of scarring you lmfaoooo

but he did let you in on the iron man secret (he knew you wouldn’t snitch)

and just to make sure:

“if you dont tell anyone, i’ll buy you a car when you turn 16”

“man, that’s like, forever away”

“good, maybe you’ll forget by then”

ur mom kinda maybe sorta found out abt iron man :/ she told you that tony was a bad influence

“mom! no, tony’s cool! he’s like a superhero”

“no, sweetie, he’s a rich guy with issues. we’re leaving”

that didn’t last long

not long at all

and soon they FINALLY got together

“jeez, i thought you two would never stop pining after each other”

“couldnt have done it without my wingman” -tony *fistbump*

“as thanks can i have my own iron man suit?”

“yes.” *pepper glaring at him* “no.”

sooner or later your mom and you moved into tony’s house and you got a really big room!!!!

it was completely decked out

king sized bed, flatscreen tv, mini-fridge, microwave, computer, your own bathroom with a smaller tv, a poster of tony??? (you vandalized it and put it in his workshop), and more!!!

okay you were spoiled

“do you like it here? are you sure i made the right choice?” -pepper

“are you kidding, mom? this is awesome! plus, you’re happy, i’m happy, tony’s happy, i think JARVIS is even happy!”

“i am, mx. potts. simply ecstatic” -JARVIS

pepper was really happy!! it was a pretty cool family

you started giving your school tony’s number if you ever got in trouble, you knew he’d cover for you

“mr. potts, is it?”

“sure”

“your child, y/n, punched another student in the face today. we’re very disappointed in their behavior”

“why’d they punch the kid?”

“well, the other student punched y/n first”

“HAH! thank you for wasting my time. send y/n back to class and call me back if something important comes up”

he literally gave you a high five when you got home

“i gave him a black eye!”

“i couldn’t be more proud. i mean, i dont condone violence, but self defense is a whole other story”

a little help in the workshop, tony asks you to hold the flashlight

“why don’t you get one of your robots to hold this for you?”

“are you kidding me, you’re complaining? we’re having stepdad/stepkid bonding time! and dum-e can’t do anything right, i dont trust him”

youve had a few theme park trips as a family ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

also tony has 100% told you to wait in the car and then left you alone for 2+ hours

“i’m not like a regular dad, im a step-dad. want some beer? you can have a little sip. i’d rather you do it in the house”

your mother actually does love how he actually cares about you!

“y/n is 12% my responsibility” -tony

“tony, you are impossible” -pepper

no avengering for you! pepper said no!!!!!!

disappointed but not surprised

iron man 3: y/n potts is put through the wringer

Text Message to Mr. Tony: bro you better come get your girl, me and happy are watching this other guy flirting with her. he’s showing her pics of his ‘big brain’

Mr. Tony: HE WHAT

Text Message to Mr. Tony: Tony he looks creepy i don’t want him to be my new stepdad do something!!!

anyways ur house kinda blew up and ur mom and you kinda got kidnapped and u were right abt that guy being creepy and thankfully no experiments were done on you but like your mom kinda almost died and her and tony were fine!!! all good in the end

you met mr. col. james rhodes that day

“aw, you’re the kid ive heard so much about” -rhodey

“you mean the coolest kid in the world?check.”

“you cant tell me you aren’t tony’s biological child, good god”

you got to meet the avengers later on too! (you’d already met natasha tho, only briefly)

“i know it can be a little overwhelming, right? meeting all these heros, legends even—” -rhodey

“oh, my god, is that thor? thor!!” -you, leaving rhodey in the dust

literally why does pepper trust you around tony something always goes wrong there were literally robots attacking, you were only at avengers tower bc your mom was busy with the company and she thought you’d be safe with the avengers. the AVENGERS.

“please dont tell your mom that i created a bad robot that tried to kill us. the robot will be the least of our problems” -tony

he made happy pick you up and you had to miss out on FUN and it sucked a lot

“it’s okay, y/n! i’m fun, too!” -happy

then your mom and tony took a break and your life got mega-boring for a while, but they weren’t separated for that long. you try not to think about it. it was brutal

Mr. Tony: Does she miss me?

New Message to Mr. Tony: I think so. Either that or she’s crying and drinking wine in the dark for no reason.

Mr. Tony: Damn it, now I feel bad. I miss her a lot. Oh, also, the Avengers say ‘hi,’ I’m in Germany with some bad news, I’ll explain later if you don’t see it on TV first, and I found you the perfect friend! His name is Peter and I think you’d like the school he goes to, it’s in Midtown. Smart kid school.

New Message to Mr. Tony: I’ll look into it, thanks. Also, I don’t like how those all connect. Please update me asap

watching the news to see several avengers arrested, cap on the run, and more!

“maybe it was good i didn’t fall in with the avengers”

tony and pepper finally got back together and you actually transferred to midtown high! peter and his friend group accepted you quickly, it was great. you and flash unfortunately had the most in common

you’d literally text happy right next to peter and he’d immediately reply to you. it hurt peter’s feelings

Momma: Sweetie! I’m working in the office late, leftovers are in the fridge, hope you have a wonderful day at school! 💕

👉👈the vulture tried to kill you for being tony’s stepkid, tony made peter promise to protect you

“y/n, you gotta stay out of harm’s way. mr. stark gave me an actual mission and it’s terrifying, i have to make sure you stay safe”

legit why the fuck was this old man tryna kill you bro grow up

anyyyywayssss your mom and tony got engaged!!

“wow, i thought the day would never come!!” -you

ppl told you tony isnt your stepdad bc ur mom and him werent married but who tf asked

why is the earth always in fucking danger

you and peter were just vibing on the field trip bus and all the sudden: space donut

“go! i’ll cover for you...FRIDAY, call tony”

“...hi there, little one”

“what the fuck”

“oh, so you see the aliens, too? well, at least im not crazy”

tony stark has left the atmosphere

you and your mom were kinda......not chillin tho

she and you didn’t sleep for a few nights, then ppl just straight up disappeared

plot twist: you survived the snap and your family was lucky to be alive, you even got a little sister who became a big handful!

only bad thing was all your friends dusted and you were pretty lonely

but watching morgan grow up kept you busy

“ahhh, shes so big!”

happy times in bad times

bad times!!!!! bc after five years thanos came back as thanos from like ten years ago. outdated thanos. obsolete thanos.

but you made your first and only appearance in the suit tony actually designed for you many years ago

you should have just stayed home tho bc that fight didnt pass the vibe check

“please dont tell me he...no, no, no, no, no”

you and your mom latched onto each other in tears, tony was one of the best people in your life, he made you and your mom two of the happiest people on earth

best stepdad a kid could ever ask for

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @lokihiddles // @frostedgiantfavs // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm // @ofthedewthesunlight //

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seijorhi · 4 years ago

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asks :))

what i have learned today is that y’all wanna get fucked by some monsters...

What does nostos mean? What language is it in? 🤔 also I of course loved it, mind blown as usual queen

it’s ancient greek! it means homecoming, the idea of a triumphant return home for the hero after a long journey. i found it through looking at the root of nostalgia. in this fic of course it’s kind of a grim tongue in cheek play on it. the reader’s coming back to the mountains, but she’s running away after a bad breakup, and the welcome she gets is... shall we say less than ideal haha

Just read nostos-

First of all as a person who reads monster shit- hell ya. Mhm. That’s some good shit right there. That was DELICIOUS horror. It actually had me a bit nervous and afraid to read what was gonna happen next 😳

Secondly- omg I wanna know what happened next (at the end) 👀 know what I mean??? 😼

ANYWAY AS ALWAYS you never disappoint and your writing is fantastic (if/when you write horror yandere stuff again I’ll be there- frothing at the mouth. A+++++ work ILY💖)

you want me to write the monster porn, just say it bby ghfjdkshgfjkd but ty

Omfg that fic was so good!

Did the readers mom know about monster kuroo?? Or was she just worried because of the previous murder? And did Kuroo somehow manipulate reader into coming back to the forest or was it just a big coincidence? (👁👄👁 there's no such thing as a coincidence)

Looking forward to your future work <3

ty nonnie!! i didn’t have the right space for it, but after kohsuke was ripped apart and eaten kuroo stayed by the reader’s side until late in the night, only disappearing when he heard the reader’s parents/search party approaching. they found her lying in pools of blood (and scattered half eaten body parts), shaking and unresponsive – they knew no animal could’ve done something like that. so they knew something lurked in those woods, but considering the reader had repressed the memories, her mom couldn’t just come out and say it <33

You are an AMAZING horror writer!!!

The uneasiness I got from the conversations with the mom is just *chefs kiss*

A+++++

ahh thank you!! horror is such a hard genre to write because i’m never sure if the suspense and everything’s gonna hit right haha

I read Nostos before going to sleep last night and at the time I was like “sure hope this doesn’t give me nightmares” and thankfully it didn’t lol. But I think I’m willing to take that chance again because it’s so GOOD and I think I’m just going to have to relive it – @ohno-otome

fhdjgbfhjkdfn i’m glad it didn’t give you nightmares bby!! but i also appreciate that haha, i’m an absolute wimp with scary movies and stuff but i just can’t stop watching them haha

I just wanna say that I was listening to "You're a psychotic villain playlist" on youtube while reading Kuroo's oneshot and I can't explain the emotions I felt, but I'd let Kuroo do things to me asdfghjkl – @itishebihime-samaforyou

ooh nice! sometimes the right playlist makes things doubly as fun haha

OH MY GOD!?!?! Nostos was soooo GOOD?!?!? Like it was so creepy (but in a good way), and scary and suspenseful!! And the ending!?!? Omggg honestly one my fav fics from you!! You did my mans Kuroo justice 🥺💖💕

TYYYYYYY i was genuinely concerned i was gonna scare everybody off haha

Ah! The new fic! Chiefs kiss! Magnificent! Bravo!🧚‍♀️✨🧞‍♀️🦖🦭🌹💫

tysm nonnie!!! <33

i’m pretty sure i’m in the same/similar timezone as you? and i do be staying up late to be one of the first to read your fics (i usually stay up late anyways). so imagine my surprise when i see you post in the afternoon. in conclusion, whether you post to align with your european and american readers’ timezone, my gmt+10 arse will still be one of the first to read your fics. also nostos sjdufigyyjf i have to admit, i recently just found out about monster fucking and nostos scratched the itch😫 i feel bad for kohsuke though

bby i always post at like 2-4 in the morning please get some sleep!! the fics will be there in the morning lmao. i kinda low key forget about my aussie/gmt+10 followers because i think there’s like... 3 of you haha

Honestly if i could give u a dollar everytime i got off to your fics, you'd probably be rich by now

lmao the idea that people find my fics hot enough to get off to still blows my mind lol

your newest kuroo fic was so SO good!! its totally okay if you dont want to answer this so you can keep things ambiguous but is monster kuroo planning on killing the reader after he's...done with them

thank you, bby!! but no, monster kuroo isn’t gonna eat her – he’s had plenty of chances to do that if that’s what he wanted, but he has other plans for the poor reader

RHI, I WANT TO STATE FOR THE RECORD THAT I AM OKAY WITH MORE MONSTER FUCKING IN THE FUTURE. i also want to say im not a monster fucker, but that just feels like a lie at this point. okay, now that that's off my chest, i love it. the mystery, the connections of kuroo to a cat. kuroo's probably gonna go and batter around his prey once they're under his grip like my cat does. hopefully the reader will come out somewhat unscathed, if they are ever allowed to leave 😌 love this, love how different it is, the way kuroo just tries to weasel in. very monster and yandere vibes, very you. have i said i love this yet?? id willingly let him get me drunk on his cock, maybe never leave the peace of the mountains again

‘i want to say that i’m not a monster fucker’ bby the denial will get you nowhere haha. just lean in and embrace it hgfjkdlkfgjnkdl ahh but thank you this is such a sweet ask ILY!!!

Omg omg the monster thing kuroo was in ur latest fic is so familiar to me abdhdmfnjfjf. I remember being told abt a monster with VERY SIMILAR characteristics to it (aka the not being able to go inside a house unless invited and using fire to lure ppl out) AND JFC IT TERRIFIED ME. Esp how when i told ppl around me and they didnt recognize what it was, but it was somehow known to the kid that told me abt it.

(Some ppl thought it was familiar but still didnt know what it was)

Do u know what im talking abt? Hopefully u do

-🥚

GHFJDK so the monster in this is kind of based off the nekomata spirit in japanese folklore - they can appear like people, torment victims by reanimating the corpses of their loved ones, they’ve been blamed for forest fires, so it was just fun to use that as a basis and then go buck wild haha. anyway thanks for the ask bby!

Rest In Peace Kohsuke, you would’ve loved Haikyuu season 5😔✊– @joyvstheworld

poor kohsuke deserved better, i’m just mean to the oc’s i throw into fics haha

Monsterfucking ❤❤❤❤❤❤ a little annoyed you're making me simp for yan Kuroo though (a vibe tho tbh). You're so extremely talented!!!! &

This is probably a stupid question, but how did Kageyama react when he couldn't find y/n? How is life with yan Suga? I imagine probably awful BUT yknow maybe the stockholm syndrome set in fast lmao. Sorry, I'm going on a binge reading your stuff. - @oracleofdin

i will not apologise for making you simp for kuroo he deserves it the man’s a snacc. and as far as your second question, suga’s a very caring, very smothering kinda yandere, so i guess in some ways it’s better than what the reader had with kageyama but... pick your poison haha

That was so good. I’m so shook rn I can’t comprehend anything but how good that was and how good a writer you are

TYSM NONNIE!!! <33

Ok, so, I just read Final Girl and the lil' ticket addition to it and just---

Well, ok I've been playing Dead by Daylight a lot lately? And I'm just picturing Tetsu as the newest killer "The Trickster" and I'm positively RANDY.

Your writing is ALREADY thirst inducing and just as satisfying, but this has SENT ME- If you're not familiar, please...

https://youtu.be/iowkiPobYYQ

Understand my thirst. (I'd also like to clarify, I use a different skin for him that gives him black hair and he looks like Kuroo with an undercut.)

~ @the-casual-hedonist 🌸

i love how feral y’all got for final girl kuroo. like bo and akaashi had his fans, but i put a spiked bat in kuroo’s hands and y’all lost your goddamn minds and i love to see it. fghdjkvhfjdkls thanks for the ask bby

idk why but I love preggo reader as long as I don't pretend it's me 😢✋ I hate babies n pregnancy anywhere else other than horny haikyuu fics

i think that’s a valid thing for a lot of fans. the idea of breeding is sexy, the actual getting pregnant and having a kid thing... not so much. but especially with non-con scenario’s, it’s more about the aspect on control than the actual desire to have kids. but yeah, i feel you

Sorry to bother but uh was just wondering in fracture did Osamu kill his wife or was it actually an “unfortunate event” ? Love your work btw!!

he most certainly did :))

LMFAO RHI i totally get not liking cheating/infidelity fics (towards reader) bc IT HIRTS ME SO BAD I CANNOT HANDLE THOSE.

id be reading fics those fics like: tf you mean my yandere aimt gonna baby me and only want me??🤨🤨🤨⁉️‼️

EXACTLY! listen i get that it’s a fucked up fantasy, but in my fucked up fantasy you damn well better have the decency to be loyal smh

Finders keepers is the most beautiful thing I've read by you: I read it twice like I normally do and here's what I figured out the second time (that's when I analyze it and find the little tidbits of things that are much darker than they appear (: )

To start I LOVE THE DETAILS OF THEM NEVER TEACHING READER ANYTHING- at first I assumed "oh they might see her as a little sister or child or something" but realized thAT WAS THE ISSUE!! they infantilize her and isolate her from everyone but her group. the small details like that are what make the story amazing 😎💅

ahh thank you so much, nonnie!! pls this is making me soft 🥺

I just wanted to stop by and say that I love your writing and I hope you're doing well!!! Drink plenty of water and keep up the amazing work :) but seriously you're one of the best fanfic writers I've seen on tumblr! I read your "Imitation" piece about kuroo and i keep coming back to it, it's so good! I did want to ask if you think it'd be possible for the reader to ever escape with the baby (or at least attempt to). Or if Kenma would "help" at all just to put an end to kuroo's antics lmao

kenma would in no way help the reader, and tbh by that point if kuroo did get her pregnant, she’d be far too emotionally dependant on him to actually even want to leave, but thanks for the ask!

You know who I think would be a perfect Yandere in the JJK world? Choso.

🚨Spoilers Ahead🚨

After being locked in a glass jar for however long he was, and all that happened with his brothers, I feel like he would absolutely never let his darling out of his sight. He would be possessive. Obsessive. And Oh So delusional. Sure he’d be your anything - he truly is a softy - but to what end?🤤

choso would make an excellent yandere, ngl 😌

what au/troupe of your fav character(s) that you have written do you like the most?

(rlly hope this makes sense🙏)

i am always a slut for soulmate au’s :))

#ask #anon #rhi answers #ohh so many asks #i love you guys <33 #fic q's

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cheolbooluvr · 3 years ago

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get to know me!! tag game <3

thank you khione @wonwoonlight for the tag!! <33 i am awful at doing these even tho i want to, i just start them and then always forget to finish and post them lol kjfaksdasl

tagging @lovingyu04 @gyukult @hoshblr @minghaofilm @trashlord-007 and anyone and everyone who would like to do this :)

What day is your birthday?

august 11 :)

What is your favorite color?

pink, blue, green and yellow <3

What’s your lucky number?

1,8,11 (for obvious reasons)

Do you have any pets?

no i wish :( but i do have stray cats that wander into my backyard!

How tall are you?

165cm

How many pairs of shoes do you own?

a lot more than i can count off the top of my head

Favorite song?

hmm i don't have a single favorite song, but the ones that have been on repeat: go away - omar apollo, summertime - ha:tfelt, sss - svt, say something - twice, tear drop - sf9 !!

Favorite movie?

oh...i have many, but i'll name three: our times, how to lose a guy in 10 days, princess mononoke

Who would be your ideal partner?

hm, someone i can be myself around; someone who is open to trying new things w me and being adventurous, but also being okay w just staying at home; someone who my family also loves...i could go on for days tbh

Do you want children?

i do :[ i have the WORST baby fever, if you wanna read abt it, lemme plug this fic LOL

Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

yeah, for p1r4t1ng a sh0w :] #outlaw

Baths or showers?

i used to love baths, but i love showers now and just standing there, the water hitting me, and pretending i'm being rained on in the middle of a dramatic movie

What color socks are you wearing?

invisible color

What type of music do you like?

lots of kpop, krnb, and bedroom pop :))

How many pillows do you sleep with?

......i have 6 on my bed (but i technically only use 2)

What position do you usually sleep in?

on my side (semi-fetal), or on my back w my legs in 4 shape, arms above my head LOL

What you don’t like when you are sleeping?

when it's too hot! i cannot stand when it's too hot. otherwise, i'm a pretty easy sleeper if i'm on a comfy bed w good pillows

What do you typically have for breakfast?

bold of you to assume i eat breakfast....but if i do, it's usually hot pockets or costco croissants :]

Have you ever tried archery?

yes!! once at my school, they had it, and it was super fun!

Favorite fruit?

i love all melons, cherries, nectarines, cuties/tangerines, mangos, dragon fruit...i just really love fruit!!

Favorite swear word?

fuck or shit - i have a potty mouth i'm so sorry

Do you have any scars?

i do, mostly acne scars, but also random scars from many things

Are you a good liar?

i think so...? good enough to get past my tiger mom, so that has to say smth, right?

What is your personality type?

enfp!!!!!

What is your favorite type of girls?

hot girls, kind girls, idk as long as we vibe, i like most of them

Are you an innie or an outie?

innie :o

Left or right handed

right handed

Favorite food?

probably mashed potatoes or hot pockets

Favorite foreign food?

sushi :[

Are you a clean or messy person?

messy, but not dirty!!!! i just have a lot of shit

Most used phrase?

uhhh either the curse words above, or "HELP" but it changes, i go thru phases w phrases aha ;P

How long does it take for you to get ready?

it depends on where i'm going, but 30mins average if i'm trying to look nice?

Do you talk to yourself?

all the damn time! i literally have podcasts w myself lmfao

Do you sing to yourself?

yes i like to pretend that i can sing

Are you a good singer?

see above answer

Biggest Fear?

death & failure, not being loved :']

Are you a gossip?

yeah i'm honestly rly nosy, but i do know my boundaries most of the time

Do you like long or short hair?

SHORT - once i cut my hair short, i realized that this is me, the real me, long hair me feels like a complete fraud

Favorite school subject

hmm, english probably

Extrovert or Introvert?

extrovert, but i do need my alone time a lot of the time. ppl irritate tf outta me and sometimes i need them to just...not

What makes you nervous?

not being qualified enough for something, being a fraud, imposter syndrome type stuff

Who was your first real crush?

i'm gonna go w a celebrity crush and i'm gonna say it was dwayne the rock johnson in the scorpion king LMFAO

How many piercings do you have?

How fast can you run?

not fast at all

What color is your hair?

pink like seungkwan hitorijanai/your choice concept photo eras

What color are your eyes?

poopy brown, or to be more poetic, just...brown

What makes you angry?

incompetent mfs who can't do their job, ppl who steal artwork/creative work, ppl who don't know their boundaries...there's a lot

Do you like your own name?

yes :]

Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

i used to rly want 2 girls. then i thot bc i wanted 2 girls so badly, the universe would give me 2 boys instead, but now i'm okay w whatever, i just want babies :D

What are your strengths?

umm good question *cue imposter syndrome*

What are your weaknesses?

i have imposter syndrome

Color of your bedspread?

hwite

Color of your room?

white and grey

#tag games #moots!💕

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smutty-ki113r · 3 years ago

Note

yes Ben is technically already dead lmao. YES BBY I WANNA KEEP U <3 u r so pretty and so nice and so talented and omg just so unique !!

OMG Red u crack me up. my sub ass would never slap a intimidating person...it's just like my brain tells me: "nooo, submit ! now!"

Well idk I don't know hoodie that well but he seems nice and i think it could work :> poly is just more than 2 ppl. can be just 3 or more. some cases only one partner is poly so the others just interact with them and not with the others. each partner can have multiple partners or not. each poly relationship is a bit different. but nontheless, cheating is still not ok. u have to talk to the partners before introducing someone new. I am actually thinking abt asking lj but I don't think toby likes him :<

Ben loves u already! it's gonna be so cool when u two finally meet!! also...the screenshot of ur friends message??? holy shit I laughed so hard.

I am fine ig lol. I will probably be done with my drivers license v soon :>i am crushing on 3 ppl irl and i am scared hh. sleeping is almost back to normal. *^____^*aw red dw :> I couldn't be upset with u !!

most of the cp don't remember their birthday and if they do they don't tell...they think it's stupid. well uh the only ones that remember r jeff and liu and they don't wanna talk abt it. the others either forgot cuz of trauma or time.

dude I am not jealous at all but possessive is accurate. bitchy...idk but i'd say no. hm but I think it's hard to tell if I am all that myself...idk

also lil fun nsfw story: toby throatfucked me recently <3 it was amazing (*^▽^*) he's so vocal too ...i love him sm

(i wish i could just be his sextoy all day long)

-🃏

THE WAY I FUCKING SQUEALED AT THAT- its the way that FUCKING EMOTICON looks for me. Like youre just like “ah yes he throatfucked me 🥰”. You literally kill me man i love you. AGGHGH THAT SOUNDS HOT. You’re so lucky 😖 (says me who’s barely had sexual interaction with anyone and wants to know what its like) but. *hand shakes furiously as i try to drink a cup of water*

I am so so glad that you and Toby are doing good. Im very proud of you both <3 thank you sm for telling me about the poly stuff, I want to be educated!! Awww i love LJ! Is he sexy For a long time I sipped over LJ and he was my #1 above everyone else and I would bring a picture of him everywhere I went. Yes I mean a physical picture. It’s not that I stopped liking him cause hell no i will always love him 🙄 but I think I just saw so much of myself in him that I wanted to hug him so badly and just be there for him cause nobody was there for me.

There’s a lot more to zodiacs than just a few traits, my mom showed me my birthchart and literally 90% of it was so accurate it was CRAZY. Ah so that’ssss why nobody knows their zodiacs. Its ok, oh jeez id hate to bring up trauma for them. But i want to fucking smother them with kisses even if they fight me off and it kills me.

UYFGPYODIRUJCGKYUYPTFDJRCFHGKVHLGUHPFT I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MAN- you think im pretty 😫 and yes I def am unique… WHY JESUS. Im only talented in making up scenarios that will hurt me. 🥲 but hey I am a masochist so it works out.

ALSO im so PROUD look at you getting your license!!! And im so glad the sleeping went back to normal! I GOT SO WORRIED OML- sometimes i forget shit I say and then im like fuck,,,did i say something mean? Or insensitive?

I would probably slap masky just for kicks. Literally. Little bitch baby boy.

My bsf is literally the most hilarious person I know other than myself. She’s my entire world and my life. She knows a lot about you, and a lot of my anons. I talk a lot about u guys cause yall make me so happy. ISTG I S T GGGGG. .. FUCK. I. He loves me already. Shit dont say that too much or ill start second guessing everything more than usual. God i feel like im gonna disappoint him so bad. When we meet when we meet when we meet when we meet.

ANYWAY imma post the pics of me now hwhwhwhehehehhehehe

Im gonna start talking about my bsf more. Mmmmmm imma call her blue. Y’all are gonna love hearing about her. The shit she says cracks me tf up.

#🚹#♠️#💬

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gothmonsters · 5 years ago

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ushijima wakatoshi hcs

listens almost exclusively to either classical music or incoherent death metal. it calms him

also listens to like. true crime or gardening podcasts when he’s working out indoors to distract himself from the exertion

has a cat. she’s a tiny fuzzy grey rescue cat. her name is madoka because she’s small and round and curls up into a ball against ushi’s neck when he’s sleeping

he lives on the shiratorizawa campus so he sees some Weird Shit from his team. he’s immune to 3am hijinks. sometimes he joins in

genuinely enjoys brightly coloured snacks but will tell NO ONE

his favourite juice box flavour is apple

he’s sooooooo touch starved but he doesn’t realise it until somebody like. touches his shoulder when talking to him and he’s like “oh i want more of that” but has NO idea how to ask for it and feels weird abt just. touching his friends mid conversation

he’s autistic and struggles with overstimulation at school sometimes. he’s fine with crowds bc he can tune them out in a game or when he’s running or w/e but in every day life he HAS to have headphones in otherwise his Entire Self Hurts

he also stims by running. and fiddling with a volleyball. and his keys. and twirling things like pens or chopsticks

he’s actually very compassionate and gets on rly well with kids bc he’s so blunt

thinks theres few things better than digging ur hands into some good, rich earth while gardening (the few things are volleyball, hayashi rice, and occasionally a perfectly brewed cup of green tea with his mom)

average grades. he genuinely enjoys most of his studies because he likes to learn things

he’s dense, but actually a total sweetheart when he needs to be. great hugs. tendou can confirm, as he’s on the recieving end of those hugs more often than most

he also assigns emojis to the names in his phone because he thinks they’re cute. tendou’s is the ice cream cone emoji. he’s frustrated that the only option is vanilla

forgets to moisturise his hands sometimes so he ends up with RLY rough palms and dry skin

he’s a nail biter, but not so much t hese days. when he was younger, though, his nail beds were absolutely fucked

doesn’t rly consider dating as a serious thing currently, but is at least aware of ppl crushing on him bc he’s a big, tall, strong athlete. he’s probably gay and has no personal issue with it bc he genuinely doesn’t see the point in worrying abt it. its just a Thing

after a match, his routine is this: rehydrate, shower, comfy clothes, listen to a podcast, and eat something fried and crispy. sometimes chicken. depends

really really loves his dad and he’s sad that he doesn’t get to see him much, but he calls his dad after matches and appreciates that his dad makes an effort to be involved in his life

has a tattered old totoro plushie his dad got him when he moved away

has definitely helped several old ladies with their groceries

doesn’t rly like cities, they’re too loud and polluted

hilariously awful bedhead, and is a grumpy, silently menacing mess for at least 30 minutes after waking up, even tho he’s naturally an early bird

can mimic bird calls

he cant cartwheel and it haunts him to this day

was a very very shy kid and didnt make friends easily. he’d hide behind his parents legs whenever he was introduced to new people and rly struggled to speak around ppl he wasn’t too familiar with

he’s still shy, but comes off as scary more than anything

tendou once ruffled his hair and ushi literally couldn’t physically move for exactly 2 minutes after. tendou thought he broke him. turns out ushi likes having his hair played with

has a lot of respect for goshiki and wants him to keep striving to be the new ace after him. he likes the kid and wants him to do well

he likes it when tendou reads manga in his room bc tendou knows when to not be too loud and sometimes reads out the speech to ushi with no context in dramatic voices. it makes him smile

he’s actually a fan of sailor moon and tokyo ghoul. not even tendou is aware of this

his fav mid-match snack is a good, cold easy peeler orange with an apple juice box

rly bad at ties. like..... rly rly bad at it. its embarrassing

he met bokuto once and wasnt sure if he liked or hated the guy. he likes bokutos hair, at least

has a weird as fuck sense of humour. he has a secret folder of just. incomprehensible memes, usually the deep fried and meme layered types because the sheer ludocrisy of them makes him laugh

he makes a squinty face when he’s frustrated or if he’s been studying for too long and its adorable

he;s adorable

i love him

#personal #ushijima wakatoshi #haikyuu!!#haikyuu headcanons #hq headcanons #ushijima headcanons #headcanons

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necropsittacus · 5 years ago

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for the ask thing, all the ones you have an interesting answer for

this is extremely long because I Love Oversharing so under a cut. thanks britta!!!

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?tea, black; i've tried putting extra spices in it but i think i'm not doing it right bc it gets grainy and weird? i don't drink coffee anymore for "hey maybe we should stop consuming this thing that makes us feel like we're actually about to die" reasons but when i did it was with a fuckton of cream5. are you self-conscious of your smile?yeah; less so since i actually brush my teeth semi routinely now, so they're less awful, but i still have a slight overbite and a residual habit of covering my mouth with my hand if i open it very much 8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?either weird vent fanfiction that i never end up finishing, drawing in my notebooks, or i try to make the overly dramatic/pretentious thoughts that pop into my head into poetry (which i never end up finishing, go figure).9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?used to, but it's like. even besides insecurity about my voice and the fear that i'll be Too Loud and bother someone. the same internal barrier that makes it hard to speak out loud, especially if i'm not directly prompted to, applies to singing10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?usually side, and in the fetal position. occasionally back though13: what’s something that made you smile today?saw a chickadee!14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?god i don't know that's like. that's the fucking dream, for the future, but i hadn't gotten as far as daydreaming about *decoration* or anything of that sort. at the moment i tend towards covering things in movie posters and little trinkets i accumulate and toys and that sort of thing. i know i couldn't do sharing a room with someone else long term, it'd get stressy, so at least two bedrooms (or a bedroom and a pull out couch in the living room, that'd work), a little kitchen. no minimalism, but i might like having primary responsibility for Housecleaning sorts of things for my loved ones, or keeping things reasonably neat. just. something that feels like a proper home. safe. 16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?i am extremely boring and usually just do fettuccine alfredo. that said, cheese ravioli and pesto products are also very good. i just don't like super complicated foods with ingredients i don't recognize, or red sauce. red sauce is Sensory Bad. 17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?i mean i've been dyeing mine black since i was like 17 to the point that people think that's the natural color and i just let them, and honestly i'm very happy with thatred looked good on me, and i definitely like the way a lot of those super bright unnatural purples, blues, etc look on other people but it doesn't feel like "yes this is Correct this is what i'm Supposed to Look Like, this is the color it was *supposed* to be all along" in the same way, it just feels like i'm dyeing it a weird color for fun18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up."mola mola isn't a slur, right?"20: what’s your favorite eye color?idk about "favorite" but dark brown eyes are really pretty22: are you a morning person?i tend to be more productive and (assuming at least like five or six hours of sleep) more cheerful in the morning, but getting out of bed is a horrible struggle bc executive dysfunction and anxiety23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?tbh i HATE having those days, i don't like being super busy Either but i get really like bored/restless/I Am Going to Rip My Skin Off to Have Something to Do Please Let Me Out of the House if i genuinely don't have anything scheduled for a day? so i usually *make* obligations for myself, writing projects or something like that, if i don't have anything externally enforced. and go to the library or a cafe or something bc i feel more alive if i don't stay in my room all day24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?yeah26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?i mean i've only had them for like a year bc it turns out that wearing the same pair of shoes almost every day wears through them pretty fast, who would have thought? but black combat boots28: sunrise or sunset?sunset31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.they hurt but i p much only wear boots so i have to wear them all the time. also my feet are weird and fucked up and i don’t especially like looking at them. and then i forget to take them off to sleep so i just. wear them all the time except to shower. i like weird socks with like animal pictures or whatever but then i feel bad abt wearing them bc i wear out socks really fast for unclear reasons34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?ooh i had a lot!! most of them were sea mammals, a couple sharks i think? i had a couple rabbits when i was Really small but i don't remember them as clearlyi can't remember most of their names but they had whole like imagined stories and relationships to each other and shit, i definitely remember there was one stuffed orca that was almost as big as kindergartener me35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?oh absolutely!! i write mostly in pencil for ease of corrections and so it doesn't bleed through the paper, but i accumulate pens/weird ink colors/etc37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?see i *prefer* having my room be clean but it literally never is 39: what color do you wear the most?black. combination of "trying to be low effort goth" and that idk how to coordinate colors so all my outfits are either all black or like. black + one other color + possibly grey, bc i figure there's no way that could end up clashing horribly. also i only HAVE black pants anyway so like. 41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?mm i know accident by christa wolf hit me pretty hard in some emotions, and that was recent44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?i'm not sure that's an emotion i have tbhwhen i'm happy there's this kind of anxious edge to it, not necessarily in a bad way, but "at peace" is. an odd concept for me. the closest i get is this sort of quiet not-exactly-negative melancholy if i'm not behind on anything and it's raining and everything's just sort of soft yknow? 47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?marinara sauce. i hate that shit. i'll eat it on pizza or if i literally have to in order to get a meal and i can't physically handle not having one, but that's about it. also tomatoes more generally! i like ketchup but that's it. why do yall insist on putting tomatoes on everything all the time i Don't Like Them50: what’s an odd thing you collect?i keep all the toys i get out of kinder eggs and stuff like that. also i just have hyperempathy about inanimate objects and animals (and basically no empathy for humans most of the time, weirdly enough) and it's frequently difficult for me to throw things away because "well i'll be hurting it!" so uh. i just accumulate objects. i still have my old toothbrush somewhere55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?i straight up tried to kill myself to win an argument with mom once in high school. and i'm not talking like a mini fakeout attempt that wasn't supposed/expected to work, either, i did regret it but i was straight up prepared to die to get her to believe me 56: what are some things you find endearing in people?rambling/talking about your interests, emotional openness. if you like. send me things that reminded you of me/you thought i'd like, or initiate physical contact so i don't have to feel so weird/guilty about it, that's a very fast path to my affections. just being weird as shit. lots of little things, really. depends on the person a lot, though; either "person is Soft and Good and i feel like it's my responsibility to protect them" or "person is Kind of Scary/Edgy and i will attach myself to them and remain loyal no matter what and they appreciate it" are pretty consistent things, but those are a long way from the Only paths to my affection58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?awfully bold of you to assume i have a friend group and not just a disparate group of friends who mostly don't talk to each other. i AM semi consistently the weird vodka uncle though. 59: what’s your favorite myth?LOTS. that's not quite a fair question i can't pick one favoritethe volsunga saga does come to mind, though60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?i do!!! i thought i didn't because turns out the things they make you read in high school english are often Not Terribly Emotionally Resonant for me, funnily enough, but when i started reading russian poetry in college, and more mental illness focused stuff tbh, it was like Oh Shit This Is Really Cool. i really like vladimir mayakovsky!61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?when i was really small i gave my dad a care bears coloring book for his birthday because for some reason i didn't process that other people didn't have exactly the same interests as me??62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?i drink either unsweetened green tea or monster energy drinks in the morning. depends how much of a disaster i'm being on that particular day. 63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?all my music is online or haphazardly downloaded to my phone so there's. not really any way to organize that if i wanted to tbh. i make a lot of character or ship playlists that i'd put more effort into organizing if i ever got around to showing them to other people, but Also anything that isn't too embarrassing to risk anyone else seeing just gets put in one folder. i DO organize my books, though. i usually *forget* to put them back where they're supposed to go, but there is a proper order (everything from one author or franchise together, stuff like star wars or tolkien is together and in in-universe chronological order, stuff like that), and i get upset if people fuck with it67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?nice. it's very calming, and also bright sunlight hurts my eyes fjgshtf68: what’s winter like where you live?not very different from fall most of the time. climate change is making it more midwest-y, which i'm not sure if i'm happy about or not (snow nice, but summer is also progressing in that direction, which is unfortunate). somewhere between the 30's and 50's (fahrenheit), mostly pretty grey, it rains sometimes. it's not cold enough that i need to have a real coat, usually sweater+leather jacket is enough. my hands always hurt, though70: have you ever used a ouija board?yeah i used to do it with my brother sometimes. nothing ever happened tho76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?i need to write my paper proposal for nuclear lit and also draw some stuff for people that i've been putting off because my brain hates me and Catching Up On Everything I Should Have Been Doing a While Ago Is Scary77: pink or yellow lemonade?both? both is good78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?i have no real feelings on minions one way or the other but i have no interest in them and don't like seeing them all the time79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?someone i used to know was going to move away from their abusers and get a job and such, partly or mostly For Me, so we could run away and start things over together after i graduated. and then things blew up but. it was very sweet and sometimes i get emotional about the concept of that still 80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?three white, one blue. i didn't choose it, it came with the dorm room. my bedroom in my parents house has really dark blue walls, which i DID choose bc i wanted a dark color and my brother already had red ones and i wanted to distinguish myself from him. 82: are/were you good in school?mmm more or less, yes i'm terrible at certain kinds of projects and at getting stuff done without pretty much devastating my physical ability to function pushing myself at the last minute. that said, i'm very good at tests, good at papers, good at language learning and bullshit analysis. it's just like. PLEASE don't give me "fun creative projects!!!" or start with the "oh well tests aren't a good way of measuring learning, here's some other stuff that will be easier for you!" thing. i *like* tests. tests make sense and it's just sit down for an hour and you're done. it's the other stuff that's hard also i'm so used to my mother's ridiculous standards that it's like. yes i am good at school, in that my professors keep telling me i am Very Smart and things of that nature. but also i am terrible at taking care of myself while i have school because me being good at school is to some extent reliant on my brain's false insistence that Everybody Else Has Perfect Grades and Is Killing Themselves Slowly To Be The Best, so clearly we need to do that too! and any sacrifice is worth it! so eventually i just collapse84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?yeah definitely, at some point. there's other things that are more pressing to spend my limited amount of non-parent-controlled money on right now, but i know i want like. some manner of thing referencing my chronic turin turambar (self dx) status, probably his grave inscription or a sword (or both eventually!). probably also a bird of some sort85: do you read comics? what are your faves?see i'll happily read comics if there's a franchise i'm already interested in that has comics as part of it, but i'm not like a Comics Fan per se. i tend to find them kind of overwhelming because there's just So Much content and i don't know where to start and i usually get distracted before i finish. i did really enjoy mtmte and the tdc creation myths comics89: are you close to your parents?nope! i send my dad animal pictures, and vice versa, and that's about the extent of it when i'm not staying with them for breaks. mom's...Difficult(TM) and dad i get along with fine but i don't really know how to text him 92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?drowns. i want to be able to actually taste it.93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?my hair is too short to really have Different Styles. i just keep it combed pretty neatly bc that's the only thing i know how to do afngjdsgf94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?my friend emma @autisticsansamaybe people i care less about had them more recently but tbh if we aren't friends i don't know when your birthday is without being told96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?i have literally never updated this laptop because it does not have space for an update. this isn't even my fault. i have deleted *every single thing on it that is not important to make it actually run* in order to have enough space to update, and it STILL doesn't. 100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?a few months ago i would have said 5 years into the past, because i Desperately missed aspects of how my life was at that part of high school--mostly having people i loved and who loved me, who wanted a future with me, and the certainty of that, that i wouldn't just be On My Own Forever post educational system--but now? future. high school fucking *sucked* in a lot of ways, and also i was a terrible person and i don't especially want to go back to that version of me. future is like...scary because yeah there is a decent possibility i'll just be pretty much totally alone and having to work a job i hate to keep up, but like. there is also a possibility that i'll have the things i wanted all along in a more stable context, yknow?

#suicide ment /#alcohol ment /#ask memes #long post #very long post ajhnfgsf im so sorry

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initcne-arch · 5 years ago

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STUDY: Darlene Alderson.

— BASICS.

IS YOUR MUSE TALL / SHORT / AVERAGE? She’s average height and stands at 5′5″. ARE THEY OKAY WITH THEIR HEIGHT? She thinks it would be cool if she were a few inches taller but she’s not mad about her height. WHAT’S THEIR HAIR LIKE? She has thick, loose brunette curls that fall about midway down her back. DO THEY SPEND A LOT OF TIME ON THEIR HAIR / GROOMING? Darlene doesn’t spend a terrible amount of time on her hair, no. She wears it down or throws it up in a high ponytail or bun. Washing her hair, however, is an endeavor, because there’s a lot of it. Her makeup routine takes all of ten minutes. DOES YOUR MUSE CARE ABOUT THEIR APPEARANCE / WHAT OTHERS THINK? Absolutely. Darlene is a slave to the aesthetics.

— PREFERENCES.

INDOORS OR OUTDOORS? Inside. She feels exposed when she’s outside. RAIN OR SUNSHINE? Sunshine, mostly because she lives in the city and walks virtually everywhere, and walking in the rain is a pain in the ass. FOREST OR BEACH? The beach. Fuck the woods, she’s not going out there. She’ll get lost. PRECIOUS METALS OR GEMS? Gems. She finds precious metals to be rather pretentious. Why do we place so much value on these minerals over others?? It’s silly to her. FLOWERS OR PERFUMES? Perfumes. She’s not a big flower or plant person. PERSONALITY OR APPEARANCE? Personality. It doesn’t matter how pretty you are if you can’t match her strong personality. BEING ALONE OR BEING IN A CROWD? In a crowd. It’s easier for her to blend in and sneak away. And she doesn’t like being alone. ORDER OR ANARCHY? Anarchy. It gets shit done and creates change in the world. Stick it to the man. PAINFUL TRUTHS OR WHITE LIES? Painful truths. SCIENCE OR MAGIC? Science. For as outrageous as Darlene is, she’s a rather logical person and she has to have an explanation for everything. PEACE OR CONFLICT? She fights for peace but if we’re being totally honest, Darlene thrives in the chaos. you want momentary anarchy. NIGHT OR DAY? Night. When most of the world is asleep and there are fewer eyes on her. That’s when Darlene gets her best work done. DUSK OR DAWN? Dusk. WARMTH OR COLD? Warmth. MANY ACQUAINTANCES OR A FEW CLOSE FRIENDS? A few close friends. Darlene isn’t attached to many people and she doesn’t have the mental or emotional energy to deal with more than a few people. READING OR PLAYING A GAME? Playing a game. It’s much more stimulating.

— QUESTIONNAIRE.

WHAT ARE SOME OF YOUR MUSE’S BAD HABITS? Smoking. Drugs. She has a god awful sleep schedule and terrible eating habits. Darlene is very smart but she is also very arrogant. HAS YOUR MUSE LOST ANYONE CLOSE TO THEM? HOW HAS IT AFFECTED THEM? Angela’s death tore Darlene apart. Angela is one of a handful of people who Darlene would consider “close” to her. But her death gave Darlene yet another reason to go after the bastards who killed her and the rest of the working class. WHAT ARE SOME FOND MEMORIES YOUR MUSE HAS? Most of them involve Angela and Elliot. Playing hooky from school to go to the city. Spending all day in movie theaters and arcades with Elliot using cash they stole from their mom’s purse. Falling asleep in a pile of blankets and pillows in Angela’s living room. Peering out into the audience during a ballet recital and seeing Elliot and Angela out there. IS IT EASY FOR YOUR MUSE TO KILL? It’s not easy for her to kill, perse. It is easy for Darlene to justify taking someone down for the cause, and she doesn’t feel much remorse or guilt for it. WHAT’S IT LIKE WHEN YOUR MUSE BREAKS DOWN? She screams. She cries. She does enough drugs to blackout, or at least enough to forget how awful she feels. She throws everyone else out and isolates herself. It’s not a pretty sight. IS YOUR MUSE CAPABLE OF TRUSTING SOMEONE WITH THEIR LIFE? It’s not easy, but she is capable of doing so. WHAT’S YOUR MUSE LIKE WHEN THEY’RE IN LOVE? I wouldn’t say Darlene is soft but she’s definitely much more relaxed. She has an easier time opening up. She’s physically affectionate!! She’ll hold your hand, stick her feet in your lap, demand hugs and cuddles and kisses. She’ll chin hand and just watch her partner. She’s still argumentative and loud, but it’s less hostile and more playful.

TAGGED BY: no one i just wanted to talk abt darlene TAGGING: you there!!

#i love Her.#┆❛ SHE SAYS YOU DON’T WANT TO BE LIKE ME. / abt.doc

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mxnark · 5 years ago

Note

♫

♫ rk memes - song drabbles

now playing… you’re the reason (acoustic) by victorious ft. victoria justice

because the acoustic one fits this better than the original

it was supposed to be like any other night for mina.

when it came to her favorite shows, she'd make a point in the house that she was going to stay in her bedroom and watch whichever one of her favorites was on from the start time until it ended. she never actually brought it up to her family though, considering everyone had other things to do than bother her with anything. not to mention, she'd just get another lecture by her mom, saying she was going to ruin her eyes by always keeping her eyes on whatever screen was nearby her. but she always ignored her because 1. she's a teenager and 2. she ignores her mom's commands on a daily basis anyway.

like the kids in her school and her mutuals on social media, she was a fan of survival shows. the reason why is because of her interest in the idol industry in general, as she's always looking for new songs to cover and new groups to fangirl about. she also just liked the fact that this one felt like any other western singing competition, except mixed in with real idol companies that were willing to make them become a star and not a dumb british man who looked like an egg.

she was prepared in the most extra way. she brought up microwaved popcorn (that she secretly brought up to her room so that her mom wouldn't yell at her about that), a bunch of blankets, a fully charged laptop for streaming, and her phone that was opened to her stan twitter account. when the show finally starts on her stream, she watches the episode with excitement over the possible superstars she'll see. she can't wait until she is able to get a good screenshot and make it her icon until the next episode where she'll get an even better icon and so on.

so far, each of the contestants looked promising to her and she doesn't seem to recognize any of them. it's expected, really. she didn't really think she'd be able to meet a future idol anyway since she's always kept to herself. however, as the episode progresses, she does recognize one face. she goes on her twitter account to tweet "omg i think one of my brother's friends is on this season of mgas holy Shit my bro knows a future celebrity".

she continues to watch more contestants go and she makes her comments on them, saying which ones seemed god-tier talented and which ones were super attractive. but when she sees him, she drops her phone on her lap and pauses the stream quickly to make sure that her eyes were not fooling her. no... no. it can't be.

but as she clicks play to return to it, she hears his voice and it only confirms her previous thoughts, leaving her shocked as she watches kang daniel, her older brother that literally lives with her, is on her laptop screen. he's on national fucking television. she stays in that shock until she sees the popup that says "hello, daniel’s parents!" where she tries to hold back a laugh. as if both of them, let alone their mother, would watch this.

“they don’t know i’m here, actually. think you could keep it a secret? between you and me?” he asks to who she assumes to be an interviewer behind the camera, but it also somewhat feels like it could be directed to her. it wasn't like she was going to tell them anyway, considering mina's very aware of how her mom would react to it all. if he's lucky, he could be able to get out of the house with his head still above his shoulders. plus, the two of them had each other's back since she was born. she's not going to snitch on her ride-or-die bro. maybe to james, but definitely not to daniel.

as the episode goes on, she opens her phone and quickly types her thoughts in a tweet: "yo, that dude who sang the jesus song is kinda crazy for not telling his parents abt this. but u know what? he's talented . u go jesus dude"

she prays to god he doesn't find her tweets in the future. sure, she's under an alias and doesn't have any selfies on her acc. but if he knew that she called him jesus dude rather than just saying straight-up "my brother"? that would be humiliating.

...

"hey, can we talk?"

it's surprising to hear that come out from her own mouth. usually, she'd hear it being said by him or her parents. she was never much of a confrontational person growing up, not to mention this quote sounded... mature in a way and that didn't suit mina. but, it was the appropriate thing to say in this situation, especially after the one dinner where she was basically giving him looks full of suspicion. she doesn't know if he knew that she knew about the mgas, so she waits until the appropriate time to go up to talk to him about it... a.k.a on the drive back to school.

he tenses up and it makes her frown. "you don't have to shit your pants. you know what i'm going to talk about."

"sorry, sorry," he responds, relaxing a little. he's silent, as if waiting for her to just say it. he knows her well enough that she's not going to beat around the bush.

"no offense, but you never seemed like a person who'd stand in front of a video camera and sing to it willingly," she says off the bat. "why did you audition for this? don't you know lots of people are going to watch you on stage?"

"i wanted sungwoon to audition, but he said he wasn't going to go alone," he explains, making the situation make more sense to mina as to why the both of them were there. "i only came as support but i..." he drops the sentence to let out a sigh.

just from the explanation, it made her feel a little bit bad for him. she understood why this was stressing him out, considering he actually cared about what their mom and dad thought of him. even if she wasn't able to relate to that, she knew that their reaction to it wouldn't be as supportive as both of them wished it would be. and the fact that he's stuck in this just because he wanted to give his best friend support? that was so on-brand of him. mina wasn't angry at him to begin with. sure, she was a little hurt that he didn't say anything about it to her. but after hearing this? it's practically impossible to be angry at him now.

"look, if you're worried about me telling mom or dad about this, i won't," she says as an attempt to reassure him. "snitches get stitches. if i tell anyone, you can run over my phone or something. but i won't, so you don't have to do that and make me hate you for the rest of my life."

the exaggeration makes him laugh and it makes mina internally sigh in relief to know that it worked. "oh god, i can't imagine taking you-know-who's title. that'd be awful."

"hell yeah it would," she says with a big smile. "don't even compare yourself to him, though. that's self-deprecation. you're obviously a little bit better."

as the car pulls up to their house, mina quickly unbuckles her seatbelt, assuming daniel had somewhere else to be since he wasn't parked at his usual spot. before she could open the door, he says something. "mina?"

she turns back to face him. "what?"

"thanks," he says. even if it's simple, she knows there's something more within it. and though she was a queen for the dramatics, she wasn't going to make it a big deal. she never did when it came to showing affection anyway.

she gives him a playful, light punch to his arm. "you're dumb," she says. "you know i got you. kang gang through everythang." as soon as that comes out of her mouth, there's a look of disgust on her face. "that sounds disgusting. forget i ever said that."

she ignores the amused reaction and leaves the car. when she walks to the door, she looks behind to see his car disappeared. she smiles when the feeling of refreshment comes down on her. it was always felt good to talk to daniel, especially when it came to family stuff. even if they were more different than they were before, it felt good to know that she wasn't alone in this. she can't say that she was lucky to be an only child because she definitely wouldn't be able to handle her mom on her own. she can't say that she's lucky for not being an only child either since their oldest brother was also not making her life easier when he was still living with them.

maybe she's just lucky that she has daniel as an older brother, too. in school, she's always surrounded by kids who constantly complained about their older brothers and sisters and while she can add to that discussion when talking about james, she never really had anything bad to say about daniel. the only time she does say bad things about him is to him personally, and most of the time it was just light-hearted teasing.

without him, she didn't know where she'd be.

...

home did feel a little bit different now that daniel wasn't around anymore.

it didn't really click on the night that it happened. to mina, it felt like he was on timeout and wasn't allowed to go back home until she calmed down her temper, even though she didn't show any big sign of anger to him during the discussion. even though he told her about it, she didn't remember showing any sadness. she only smiled and gave a thumbs up while saying "you're finally escaping the evil witch's lair! congratulations!" he gives a sad smile, but the conversation goes on as normally until it ends with a hug and an "i won't miss you too much."

but on the night after that, when she took notice of the empty chair, it finally did hit. it was for his own good, she told herself. if he stayed any longer, he'd probably feel trapped forever. you wouldn't want that for him, would you?

the table was quiet that night, save for their dad trying to get some small talk. mina went up to her room and cried about it before she went on the internet as an attempt to cheer herself up.

she did get used to it. by the time the fifth season of the mgas was on, she was used to the fact that he was off on his own like a dove or something. it's not like the both of them totally lost contact, anyway. even if things were a little different, he still drops her off to places when she needs a ride and she'd see him at their grandma's church once a month. even if she was on her own now with the "ultimate boss", it was still kang gang through everythang. she's said that twice in her life and she felt like a bigger clown for it the second time.

had it not been for their text conversation about the auditions (with a bunch of eye emojis coming from mina), she would not have known that he would end up in the fifth season. she was able to convince her dad to watch the show with her, no mom insight, and they watched the show together in the living room with the blankets and popcorn and mina going on her phone before her dad tells her to focus on the show if she was going to watch it. she knew she was going to see his band, but she didn't expect to see songhee and yeji and jeongin on the show. when her dad points her cousins out, asking if she knew about this, she only shook her head, letting him know that she was surprised as he was.

the next few episodes go by and mina goes through an emotional rollercoaster, to say the least. she blames it on her being so sympathetic to her brother that after seeing minhyun and sungwoon get kicked off the show, she throws a silent tantrum rather than a loud one with a warning from dad. seeing the friendships her brother in the show as well as his interactions with the people he already knew makes her feel a sense of pride in her brother. she remembers her group chat being spammed with asking mina if she could ask him to get an autograph from convex (she sent a reaction image of a buff cat instead before saying "no").

though the finale was bittersweet, especially since she believed that her brother deserved a chance with his friends and yeji, she mainly felt pride in him for at least making it that far and for being less awkward than last time. she doesn't text him right after it aired since she thought it would be awkward to say all the encouraging bs after he technically lost. but, she doesn't keep that thought in her forever.

"he looks happier this time," she mentions to her dad. "like.. he didn't win, but he got further than last time and he's definitely better."

he nods in agreement. "i wasn't sure how he'd be doing after he got kicked out, but after seeing this, i think he'll be fine." he looks over to her. "you should get on this show, too. you like dancing, right? maybe you'll get as far as he does."

mina laughs at the idea, but it wasn't in a way to show that he was ridiculous for thinking that. "we'll see."

#silent agreement #have i told u lately that i love u #(( wc: 2.3k btw #the middle part doesnt match up w daniel's solos bc its a #but i needed the moment #so u can imagine that as an au if u want idc #kang gang through everythang BITCH 😤👊#hope this is ok ily !! ))#danielxrk

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unproduciblesmackdown · 7 years ago

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✨how did you get into MK? what position do u usually sleep in? How often do you spend on a piece of art that you take from sketch to colored? What are your favorite snack foods? Do you get your hair cut every 6 weeks and do you stick with the same look?✨

hmm mk is a bit of an anomaly for sure….even tho ive been sifting around webcomics for abt a decade now, i really only ever am keeping up w a handful and rarely actually pick up any new ones. i’m the same way w like, all other forms of media, like shows and music and stuff…its not like even me being all too critically picky, coz i can hardly ever convince myself to check out shit i know i do/will like. but anyways i suppose it was a couple yrs ago and me freezing my ass off in a barely-insulated terrible expensive apartment while dying of depression & it was the middle of the night & i wasnt tired, and sometimes i reread a comic coz i realize ive completely lost track of the plot or characters or something…so i was doing that and there was a guest comic by the artist for mk & i was like, well you know, thats cute and funny and i like how they draw, i’ll just put this in a separate tab and maybe come back to look at their comic for once in my life b/c its not like i hve anything better to do at like 4am. so i finished my reread and figured i’d check out at least a bit of mk & when it drops kip on you right off it took me like 2.5 pgs to he like “well so………he’s gay right? and a nerd?” and so then i was like, obviously i have to follow through on this Gay Lead. b/c i mean, you never really go into anything assuming that anybody will actually get to be Not Straight, no matter how obvious it seems b/c you can’t trust anyone. so even though its right there and makes no sense for him to be straight i was still like going along trying to keep my hopes down even tho there’s no other interpretation….even when the surprise came that he has a beautiful Ex Boyf & i had like a heart attack b/c that far along i was already like “woops i also love him” i was still like trying to come at it from some other angle like…… Maybe This Is Just… Um….. i dont remember but i was like ok but seriously this Has to be an ex right? i mean my god. anyway by that point i was also deeply invested in the fact that kip is v….v much many Char Types i love and xtreme relatable plus he’s flawless and deserves the best despite being doomed for the worst……. so anyways at that point it was like 7am & i was thrilled and yelling a bit about that sweet rare vindication of This Is All Gay Right and like gosh hope he gets kissed by like everybody…… and thats about how that went

oh god…… trying to find a sleeping position can be the worst a lot of the time. like, it changes up and i have to do the tossing and turning bit… sometimes its all huddled up and other times my body wants to be stretched out… im sabotaged by the whims of my body re its comfort tbh. like i’ll be fine in any position and then suddenly my limbs or hips or whatever decide they’re uncomfortable. the other week it was only sleeping on my stomach that was tolerable. i guess on avg i sleep on my side but theres no real standard position, i wish there was

phew i…honestly can rarely draw anything in a matter of less than hours. under 2 hours is shockingly rare. it depends on the day for sure, sometimes drawing comes more naturally, sometimes my focus is less terrible…. for a guess at whats average though, for like a usual drawing that i also add color to, i’d put it at maybe, 5-7 hrs? i’m awful at paying attention to when i start/stop something. and i have a lot of pauses in there b/c of the terrible focus bit. but usually i don’t do coloring thats too fancy so it only tends to add on a couple of hours to the lineart, which is helped along if i’m doing it digitally w how easy it is to erase stuff and not worry abt the sketch being too messy to clean up or whatever. sometimes i wish i could spend another eon on the coloring also, but you can spend just as much time on colors as the lineart and i like to do everything in one go too much for that really… plus just that i’m bad w colors and dont expect to ever be as good at them as with the lineart element of things. anyways tldr all you need to know is…i’m really slow :(

oh god snacks…. i love to eat anything really. i’ll make anything a snack or a meal or whatever. i like stuff like corn chips or just dry crackers… i like to eat cereal just plain… i’ll eat a box of corn chex any day. or a box of oreos probably in like one go. i am a fan of cookies and ice cream and everything. pretzel sticks are great too. fruit snacks are great… a few times ive just been in the mood to cut some like orange bell peppers into strips and eat that…carrots are amazing too… theres this cucumber/cream cheese dip that is…fantastic with chips. idk i like to eat most things

i actually used to tend to wait too long to get my haircut and put it off till it’d been like two months and was getting too long in the back and i hated it lol….. i know we’ve talked abt the Homophobia In The Salon how you have to try to wrangle the stylist into accepting that yes, you really want it that short, and keep them from trying to take it in their own direction. and i’m nervous enough w social stuff like that where i cant know what to say beforehand, and doubly nervous b/c of it being really stressful and exhausting for me to try to just like stick to what you actually want and explain this very simple cut to ppl who sometimes will act like they have no idea what you mean…and it would be triply difficult b/c back in the day i’d catch all this shit over having my hair as short as i wanted b/c my mom was having a whole internal shitstorm about me being a wholeass queer and so of course she was gonna flip out about how i look as if that will solve things for her. i always forget that i Was in fact abused for the ol “not seeming properly cishet” business. so the nervousness abt the haircut experience lingered!! but it helps that sometimes i’d find a really nice stylist who would be friendly and remember the general idea of the cut i liked, and i could stick with them and that was helpful. but for the past year i’ve really just been giving myself a continuous haircut myself w the occasional aid of a bathroom mirror, i’m not fancy. my Ideal Cut gradually got shorter and shorter over the years, w it now being maybe an inch and a half on top and shorter on the sides in that General Undercut format. i rly dont like much length on the back of the neck or by the ears lol…plus it doesnt help having glasses when your hair is getting too long. maybe it would be nice if i could someday dye it my favorite kind of blue, right. but in the meantime, as long as its short enough i’m good

#long post xoxo

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misterbitches · 4 years ago

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@flootweed

ATOTS

That's super fucking romantic? Like tragic but in a nice way. i love that shit. i'm a monogamous slut for romance pghiosuag even tho we have to learn to live alone too but it's just like the NOTION is nice?!??! awwww i told my mom that SOPHIE's gf was like "she died taking a picture of the moon" and how it was like idk. the gf was just processing it and she thought it was romantic and my mom was like "wow.....depressing" bc think she thought it was stupid millenial shit i was like no mother doent u see she died in the BEAUTY LMAO but then i told her jessica walter's husband died the year before and then she died and she was like "aw...kind of romantic" LMAOOOO i guess two people have to die. why did i tell this story? i am so sorry. the show ended today right (ep 10?) i didn't realize it was that short. so i hope it was a happy ending? (tell me) i understand why you love the atmos! it's like, not really been done. there's this BL that i hear isn't too great but it does take place in a rural part of thailand and there's way less budget. a lot of ppl seem to like it. ep 6 LW / LW in gen gotta be honest, rushed through it. i knew spoilers from jump cause BL spoilers are just absolutely nothing and sometimes ur just like i need to know. i do not understand the ~silently lookin 4 u~ trope it always backfires and is also DUMB. so happy about tiffy. a girl who likes girls but ends up with a man bc of mommy and also the man is ok....it's me. she's gorgeous and actually [h*lf] gay so it's great. god ok i feel so old again. lmaooo but i was like obsessed with lady gaga for that reason (dont ask...also how i got kinda popular on tumblr way back in the day) and shes just absolutely fucking beautiful and bad ass. (which kind of doesnt helpcos they r all skinnty but that's FINEEEE) right? i mean like i guess cos we knew abt it? i can see why he was so pissed off, too? i mean i'm so fucking like...sensitive to being told what to do so i was angry for him from jump. i guess i was also looking at it different wholetime cos i knew the spoilers? i'm assuming u did too lmao. so we knew hed be pissed and leave. and frankly that's what sib gets. just for you my friend i will watch it and update. i think MANY times in shows in gen but it is something you notice a lot in BL bc they are just absolute novices most times. in this case, gene's actor mostly well (and i like him as a person just cos he was on that thai 3 girls in a car show and used to date on eof them lmao) can act so i will look over that scene to see how sib's actor plays off him. but the pausing in between sentences or for so long even decent actors or actors doing better. kao is not bad, not great so they will talk slowly because dramatic acting but the problem is most times it's too long. even if the person is an adept actor it won't always work and YES THEN THAT MEANS THE EDITOR COMES IN AND SNIP SNIP SNIP! it's too long. and sometimes it just does not work even if you can act. but it is GLARING when they cant or are average (someoe said this about tharntype and my god lmao tharn..is...so...slow...in...talking...the actor idk his name it's one of em, the other one with the nose (type) is....different not better but he certainly does not talk as slow. they arent bad but they are not good so.) also sometimes they are forgetting their lines. some ppl find this charming. clearly we do not lmao. what is their relation? what is going on there? i don't have a problem with stepbrothers as long as they didn't grow up with that sibling bond. many times blended families really have to watch out for that kind of fraternizing but it's always when theyre older and teenagers bc they didnt grow up w/ each other....i mean they have chemistry so i'm whatever. but. hennYYWAYYYS.actually it's bc im an idiot i didn't read it as Mhok (singular) and aey's father. Yes and his sister who i think i may hate? im like bitch okkkkkk but. his name is lhong. and he is a psycho. i mean so is type. so. oooh it could be that he stole! but also i'm pretty sure cos hes gay lol or did they

not make that explicit? the thing is i had to skip through most of that scene too because the drama was WAY too much for me. too much. lmao. the sister thing i got and it made sense and iliked that. oh yea he is gay and they know. that's a big one.

WBL

haven’t watched color rush! did you like it? i have seen wyel, parts of mr heart, and ofc to my star :)

ohhhhhh ok. i get you. yea he definitely wasn’t being ooc cos i think that....what u said. and also like....ugh i cant even think rn. i like sam lin a lot so i like gao shi de but i gotta say. lmao. hm. first of all. yes it is creepy what he did. it’s fucking weird. and sad that his whole life revolves around him. it’s not as fucking weird as LW but still like when he did the door thing. i was like UMMMMMMMMM cos i really didnt want it to be constructed. and when it was i was like imma suspend my disbelief. but if anyone dared...

and so what he did in s2 i think he just couldnt realize that he was loved back which is why it’s good he WAS ALONE for 5 yrs imo. but he gave shu yi 0 choice and for that i am pretty sure i would be even angrier. i do think though that the father’s role is pretty important but i can see how the show is like....letting that go? bc as fucking weird as GSD is, he was still like...20? i guess and shu yi’s dad is like. crazy? i am also like he really had to fucking start a company to get noticed like are u joking? is it also that easy? and also why? lmao i just. ugh. i think that probs bothered me the most...priorities.

i like the show! well idk if i love it but sure. i think it’s decent lmao. i understand what you’re saying. for here it bothers me less but i certainly don’t think it was OOC. immature and stupid but like...that’s.....what they are. i also don’t have a problm with the timing from a technical point.

however, when i started the show? i had NO clue what concept of time it was. and that was very annoying. tehy redeemed it bc of the comedy aspects (the first time shu yi sees shi de is so fucking good, i really loved the shot and editing; it’s hilarious and silly) and i started to go with the flow of the show through that. but the fucking concept of time in the show in general esp with repetitive outfits (i understand that they are more likely to wear multiple outfits as well, it’s just that you have to split it up or it i sconfusing visually and looks like the same scene twice or just a full day of shooting which it could be but then something should change in the clothes. this is just an ex~~*~*) and partof that is they have this already controlled narrative i guess.

i have to admit as well...i skipped episode 1. and most of 2. i was like i rly dont want to see someone slap a pereson even if they were like. not together. it’s just not cute also not in front of ppl. and then when they were yelling and bla bla i was like listen ladies lets calm down. too much angst in a boring way. what they have now is good. also they should probably like estrange the father but i doubt they will.

i cannot make up my mind totally now bc i see what ur saying i guess i just don’t feel that way as much but i guess i have to think about it more, too. i do think he was contorlling in getting him or like when he didnt want shu yi to find out whwatshisface liked him. i guess for me it would be if he is still that way in the rship. but even tho he’s at fault for what happened, i’m also like but his dad? but also like...did he try? why did he just stop contacting? but then i guess he emailed everyday? DO U C MY QUANDARY.

alsoi have to say i do not care abt their backdoor being opened lmao like wow business? no thanks

LMAO. did they cry a lot in UWMA? i only know the teamwin parts. which one is fluke the really pale one who died? idk what it is about that kid but i just cant watch him. it’s not his fault it’s mine.

DUDE i still dont understand the husband and wife thing and ive looked into it multiple times. ive kinda just classified it as one of those things that make me uncomfortable but arent problematic lol. it you have any insight about it id love to hear it tho !!

it’s stupid. that’s what it is (husband and wife.) it’s just something they say like many gay couples may use pejoratives in conjunction with them, the f word etc. or even imply something about being a top and a bottom. whatever. but these arent gay spaces or gay storylines. sure gay men may direct them but since BL operates and relies on patriarchy without a doubt and also stereotypes poorly kathoeys or won’t cast trans women in anything substantial and use them as jokes (and see this is one of those things where it’s like...ud never see this in the US tho like our concept of third gender or kathoeys but life stillBOOOOO.) so it’s just useless when they put it into the scripts because it’s for people to consume and lots of girls are. obviously. so the idea that if you are being penetrated and u r the wife and this is used like literally anywhere but not from gay or whatever men is gross. are cis women’s vaginas sieves to them? are trans women not women? do we have to categorize people by PHALLIC OBJECTS IN OUR BODIES SPECIFICALLY A WOMAN? it dont make no sense. plus really most ppl just experiment, there’s more ways than one to have sex, we have lives so most times it’s not just full penetration for hours anyway. it’s just so gross. like oh that’s really funny lol ur the wife cos his dick goes in ur butt XD i get it, same. i say “i’m wife’ whenever there’s a penis in me. fucking kill me. it’s not a big deal but it’s just dumb and gross. if they use it they could try and subvert it too like i like how my engineer has a whole absurdly stupid episode about it. but in TT the dad says “if ur the wife i wont accept it” and i was like u know what gals? im good. goodbye.

pgojaihousgajigko THAT’S SOOOOOOO OOWIEOFUGHOIJ WEIRD. FANDOM IS REALLY WEIRD. i have read rpf and written it once upon a time but dont do it anymore uch. i mean it’s weird. no doubt about that. invasive, weird, strange. but very unreal anyway. it is. plus i dont like celebs or fame and think of it as a gross capitalist scheme so i had to stop (also so weird?) but i know very many people like lean in. lean in. LEAN IN. this youtuber i watch did a video on like insanely popular ships (like that 1d one) and their insane fandoms and i just couldnt. it’s so embarrassing? and then they’re so bold????? about it?

yea it would be cool (more queer men or visibly we should say or like out whatever.) but it doesnt necessarily mean that will be good or beneficial i guess? i mean like. i dont know. so much about the genre is about wish fulfilment for young girls. its literally selling some fantasies because the other thing is for BL (i read a paper on this...) esp for girls in more conservative societies they cna maybe replace themselves in the character? but they may not feel a threat as a woman or like their life will fall apart if they engage in sexual things with anyone really. and that’s where i’m like....for a lot of these are they just writing a story and just replacing two men? bc they also seem to think it owrks like that. and in a way that’s what it is bc of the writing and how they use certain terms. you can tell the piece is about pushing a product and less about the real affects of a story. i think ITSAY is a great example of a really intelligent great piece of work that contains multitudes. and the girl was amazing. it just depends on the goal. and for most of the ppl the goal isnt...to do anything. so i dont know. idk how to talk abt representation anymore. it both is and isnt.

i really liked tingting from my engineer a lot (idk if u have seen) she’s so fun and unapologetic. i love how much she drinks and if someone tells her to be ladylike she says no. and i appreciate that in the show when girls were rude to her she said nothing about the girls but said “NO IM NOT LUCKY TO HAVE ALL MALE FRIENDS?” i really want to see her more in the next season. obviously tiffy is goat. super excited to see how their rship develops.

#we best love #lovely writer #we best love fighting mr 2nd

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garlique · 4 years ago

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all the things i would tell my mom if i went back to my ten year old self with what i know now

under a cut because it got really really long i guess i have a lot to say to her lol

1. hi mom i know i look like yr ten year old but im actually yr 19 year old. im gonna tell u some things i need from u and i need u to write these down and remember them

2. im fucking transgender, i found this out for myself at like 14 or 15. im going to change my name twice; both of my h names are deadnames. my gender is also a lot more complex than i’ll realize it is but with you and dad, i will settle on the name miles and he/him pronouns. please please actually take me to get new clothes when i come out i might tell you i don’t need it but i really really want it. also you and dad for years have nasty habit of calling me the wrong name and pronouns when you get mad at me. i don’t know if it’s because you genuinely want to hurt me by doing it or if it’s just that you still think of me as a girl named ****** and can’t hide it when you’re emotional but jesus christ does it fuck me up. dont do that shit. also pls dont leave me to transition on my own. im a child with a lot of issues and because you help me so little with my transition i’ve been yet unable to get top surgery. im incapable because

3. i am really fucked in the head and idk how much of it is nature vs nurture. i have adhd, am autistic, have *, believe i’ve been depressed my entire life, and have been having panic attacks since i was around 6. i also have cptsd; i dont know if telling you this will make that better, because im already really traumatized. but my first memory in my entire life was sitting on the closed toilet late at night while you brushed your teeth, sobbing because i was having a panic attack and you brushed me off and sent me back to bed where i continued to have a panic attack until i wore myself out enough that i couldnt physically keep my eyes open. which brings me to my next point

4. i need MORE from you. as a 19 year old before this i have SO many issues with trusting people and getting help. i have a form of ptsd which i believe is partly due to what i consider your emotional neglect. i dont know what you can do to make it better because if i did i probably would have asked for it in this timeline. but it really is not my responsibility to make sure YOU can parent me effectively. how are you so unaware of my emotional needs?

5. YOU need to receive mental help. by the time i’m like 15 or 16 you seem from my perspective to hate your life and you LOVE to unload it onto me. i remember telling you SO MANY TIMES that you should see a therapist (i started therapy freshman year) and every single time i suggested it you will say “no i dont need therapy” . which is because you used ME as your therapist. please dont fucking do that to me. you can tell me about your life and your day to day but holy shit the amount of breakdowns i had because of what you told me? please for the love of god you have so much fucking trauma please please please get help this is how generational cycles begin and is the main reason i decided at like 17 to never have kids.

6. in either 5th or 6th grade im going to get lyme disease and im not going to tell you because you told me when i was very young that you hated taking me to the doctors and so im not going to tell you for months that i can’t use one of my arms or that i can’t put weight on one of my legs. if i remember right it first showed up in my right shoulder abt 3 months after YOU injure your shoulder and so when i first tell you my shoulder hurts you tell me that it doesn’t and that i’m just mimicking you. please just take me to the doctor in like february instead of june. im basically fucking crippled as a 19 year old and i think it is in large part because of the lyme disease

7. please for the love of god please please fucking take me to the dentist regularly

8. in 9th grade early/mid december im going to confess to a friend that i am feeling suicidal and she and basically everyone else in my life who finds out is going to handle it terribly. im going to attempt suicide again in the spring of my sophomore year and it’s going to be awful for everybody again. after that attempt you don’t let me shower by myself for three months. i know it’s because you’re scared to lose me but i’m going to tell you a little secret: im terrified of dying. i dont Actually want to die. i just have so little control of my brain that dying or sleeping for a long long time is the only way i can see to get my shit under control. in 8th grade i make friends who are terrible for me and spend my nights talking them out of suicide. here is where i learn how to keep people alive lol. i dont know what you can do to help me that won’t make me hate or resent you but i’m telling you now so that maybe if you have the time you can prepare.

9. abt my mental health: pls take me to get autism/adhd tests n diagnoses. my * diagnosis will b impossible to get before i turn 18 and i am going to try to keep it from u . i promise u tho raising an autistic kid is not as hard as it seems and by now im so fucking traumatized that i’ve already learned to internalize everything

10. when im in high school i forget what year you severely injure yourself and spend a really long time in the hospital and rehab. this is what i feel most guilty about in my entire life: that the time you were gone was literally the easiest few months of my life. right abt two weeks before you do that is when i decide that you weren’t a good parent to me and that i am no longer safe around u; maybe if we can deal with some shit now we can have a better experience. btw i feel like it would b cruel if i didnt tell you so here r the brief details of yr injury **

11. by the time im in college i have constant panic attacks and dissociate heavily for the weeks before i have to leave college to come home. you need to take me seriously, i don’t know what else i can say to make this believable. i’m already real fucked up; you need to change the future for me or it WILL affect me for the rest of my life. i latch on to every woman who’s older than me who’s nicer to me; i think that’s the definition of mommy issues

12. i came back to tell you this because i really do believe you can change. if i thought there was no hope i wouldn’t have bothered telling you this. i think you can change because you DO love me (speaking of which telling me i love you but i don’t like you is? kinda fucked up? maybe don’t say that to a child ever again although i think by now you’ve stopped saying it because that will set me up with some fucked up ideas of love until i really begin to be loved by other people) and i think you want the best for me and i think you would want to change so that i could have a better life. i love you and i believe in you

#pleaseeeee dont rb this #this was so fucking therapeutic to write out?? obv this is not ALL i want to say to her but its def a start :3 this feels good #and my anxiety is way down now hehe

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dvminik-blog · 7 years ago

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hey y’all i’m so late to the party n everyone’s dead rn but hopefully someone sees this !! it’s ok tho i’m gonna annoy everyone for plots anyway so i apologize in advance,, anyway hello i’m hanna & all u rly need 2 know abt me is that i’m gay as hell (but i still worship seb ok don’t get me wrong), 16 yrs old, & uhhhhh i haven’t rp’d in MONTHS so forgive me in advance if i’m not in sync w/ the current trends....... also keep in mind that this intro is gonna be awful bc it’s almost 1am n i’m rushing to put this up bc u already know ya girl can’t stand feeling left out of anything ever :// here is my ugly satan son!!! if u wanna plot like this or IM me!!!

━━━ SEBASTIAN STAN. THIRTY THREE. CIS MALE. HE/HIM. ↷ dominik petran has been living in san francisco as a surgeon for seven years. during that time he has earned the reputation of the opaque. it makes sense you know, they can be aloof and insensitive. but let’s not forget they’re pretty charismatic and independent. i heard their favorite song is fake plastic trees by radiohead.

emotional abuse & alcoholism mentions !

ok so dom was born in san francisco even tho his parents are both originally from romania!! his dad worked as a lawyer at his own law firm, while his mom was a social worker

he is the oldest of four children (all boys lmao) and bc his parents were busy and had other priorities, dominik was always expected to take care of his siblings

there was always a lot of pressure put on him to be the most mature and most responsible?? he was always expected to do the “right thing” & basically took the fall for anything that went wrong in their household

their family looked rly perfect & ideal from the outside but his parents worked very very hard to maintain their image - not that they had to keep it up for public appearances, but that was just the kind of people they were yanno??

when dominik was fourteen, it was revealed that his dad’s firm had gone bankrupt and his dad was very deep in dept - also had to pay lots of fines for tax evasion and was sent to jail for that for three years ,,

dom’s mom, ever the perfectionist, refused to let his father leave their family in ruins so she pretty much abandoned him lmao and relocated the rest of the family across the country to dc. after this, everyone was pretty much forbidden from mentioning their dad and if anyone did, their mom got rly rly mad

his mom was uhhhhh highkey emotionally abusive bc she tried so hard to make their family look perfect n make the kids clean up after her mess all the time that she rly just ended up making everyone feel like shit n feel guilty constantly. if things didn’t go her way, everyone was in trouble but dom took it the hardest always bc he was supposed to be the leading example

not long after, his mom managed to get a divorce and soon after, she remarried

their step-dad was uhhhhhh also very awful?? he completely disregarded dom & his brothers, also leaving them to clean up after his mess all the time

during his Teen Years dominik was basically trying to juggle achieving perfect grades, participating in extracurriculars, and taking care of his siblings/making sure his household didn’t fall apart all the time bc if he wasn’t around things got messy rly quickly

trying to balance all of this didn’t rly leave much space for a good social life, so dominik always tended to be a rly private and distant person. rly lonely too, but he never admitted (even to himself) that he seeked/needed someone to talk to and care for him for once

idk dominik has always been and is still so bad at talking about himself other than surface level/very superficial stuff it just makes him rly uncomfortable and being vulnerable is very rare and scary to him

by the time he was 17, his home life was messier than ever as his step-dad was an unstable alcoholic, and his mom was still very emotionally abusive

as soon as he had a chance to get away from all of his family responsibility (aka graduating high school n leaving for uni), he jumped @ the chance to move far away!! his grades were rly good and he had lots of scholarships offered so he had a wide pick of schools but eventually decided to study human sciences @ uc berkeley bc he wanted to go to med school

dom didn’t....have plans to be super successful to save his siblings or anything lmao he just genuinely wanted to make a nice life for /himself/ and get away from his family

after going to school in california, he went to columbia in new york for med school but moved back to the west coast (san fran) for his residency and ended up staying past his residency so now he’s a surgeon!!

very much like his mom in the sense that dominik is a perfectionist and would do anything to make something /look/ perfect - even if it actually isn’t, as long as it looks it and deceives others, it’s good

tbh lowkey (highkey) selfish bc he hated taking care of everyone all the time so now his motto is just to do everything for himself lmao he can’t handle sharing anything or compromising

ver.y....narcissistic and thinks he can pull it off but it gets annoying probably

his family is pretty much dead 2 him (or so he likes to say) & he almost never talks abt them bc anything that makes his life look bad doesn’t Exist

but secretly feels so guilty for dropping all of his siblings and never talking to his family ever But he still pretends he doesn’t care bc at least he makes lots of money!!

#rush:intro #hanna.txt #AAAAA PLS NOTICE ME I KNO I'M LATE BUT-

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hallelujuh · 8 years ago

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hello yes i just finished lord of the flies (and then watched the 1963 movie immediately afterwards) & i rlly luv piggy so im gonna yell abt Just Piggy Things™ even if no one cares

piggy’s the first character we’re introduced to, after ralph ofc, so that means we’re supposed to get attached, and boy did i get attached..

ass-mar

the fact that he’s been called mean nicknames so long that his real name doesnt matter to him?? he doesnt care what hes called?? poor thing wtf??? hes like eleven hes too little for this

the Flashing Anime Glasses. especially the one w the fire when he starts laughing maniacally. same.

im talking about: “then he laughed so strangely that they were hushed, looking at the flash of his spectacles in astonishment.”

also: “’i got the conch,’ said piggy, in a hurt voice. ‘i got a right to speak.’” let him speak hes the only damn reasonable one. also stop hurting him hes been hurt enough goddamnit

k but how much he loves ralph? and ralph is annoyed by him??? but then later he confides in him & cries over him & their friendship is my fav in the book so. they bond it just takes a while. but piggy was always good to ralph awe

“i was with him when he found the conch. i was with him before anyone else was.” he finally made a friend dont u take him from him ;-;

k speaking of the conch, in the first movie, his laugh when ralph’s blowing the horn for the first time??? aw??? a rare moment of joy in that sad ass movie??

‘63!film piggy is the sweetest & cutest i lob him. ‘90!film piggy was annoying as shit tho i refuse to talk about him.

in the ‘63!film when he puts his hands on his hips when jack says “shut up fatty” and then hides behind the tree when they all laugh at him.

god in the book it’s easy to forget theyre actual babies but with the movie u cant possibly forget and theyre so cute but defenseless it’s so sad

i kno these actors r like 70 or dead now but i wanna go back in time & give them a hug. especially piggy cuz hes a pouty chubby bub gOD IM SO SAD

one last note on the film before i get back to the book: the movie rlly encompassed how awkward i imagined piggy to be & i luv that. also his story time abt camberly was adorable + educational (for me, anyway)

how hurt he is when ralph tells the other boys his name, poor thing ugh :(

“’let him have the conch!’ shouted piggy. ‘let him have it!’” yes stand up for poor lil mulberry child

“piggy knelt by him, one hand on the great shell, listening and interpreting to the assembly.” hes so fuckin sweet??? hes like the mom of the island hes so nice to the littluns i luv him

and when he gets upset over the mulberry boy probably bein killed in the fire :’( hes the most sensible and the most empathetic of all the other boys. what a cinnamon roll. unproblematic fav. true neutral. 10/10. the best boy.

my second favorite line in the whole book: “then, with the martyred expression of a parent who has to keep up with the senseless ebullience of the children, he picked up the conch, turned toward the forest, and began to pick his way over the tumbled scar.” tired mama piggy lmao

he wants to make a sundial?? hes so smart aw

piggy thinking ralph’s patronizing smile was a friendly one :( :( he just wants a friendddd hes so naive & sweet im sadddd

i think it’s implied most of the other boys (particularly the choir boys & ralph) are from a nicer, more upper class part of england, &, despite his intelligence, piggy’s more lower class, judging by his cockney-esque accent (his use of ‘them’ instead of ‘those’, etc.) and also “piggy was an outsider, not only by accent, which did not matter…” idk why this is cute i dunno

“piggy arrived, out of breath and whimpering like a littlun.” me in pe. but also poor thing ;-;

“piggy sniveled and simon shushed him as though he had spoken too loudly in church.” i interpreted shushed as, like, consoled, more than, like, ‘quit crying, ya baby’, which was more what he was doing, but still…first of many cute piggy & simon interactions. i’d ship them but theyre like twelve so nah. but they cute as buddies

“this was too bitter for piggy, who forgot his timidity in the agony of his loss. he began to cry out, shrilly: ‘you and your blood, jack merridew! you and your hunting! we might have gone home-’” this hurts because if jack hadn’t gone hunting, they may have been rescued before simon or piggy died :( :( :( horrible vague foreshadowing

simon getting piggy’s glasses for him when jack throws em ;-;

simon giving his piece of meat (not a euphemism, goddamnit) to piggy.. god simons so sweet hes my second fav

“only, decided ralph as he faced the chief’s seat, i can’t think. not like piggy…he could go step by step inside that fat head of his, only piggy was no chief. but piggy, for all his ludicrous body, had brains.” why does ralph resent piggy sm. it’s like it psychically hurts him to compliment him, even just in his own head. jeez. just cuz someones fat doesnt mean they cant be smart?? the 50s were weird

“piggy came and stood outside the triangle. this indicated that he wished to listen, but would not speak; and piggy intended it as a gesture of disapproval.” aka ‘i’m mad at everyone so im gonna stand two feet away & glare at you all’ aw haha

when he tiptoes onto the triangle cuz hes done w his protesting ahaha aw

“piggy held out his hands for the conch but ralph shook his head.” idk i thought the mental image was cute. “gimme pls” “nuh uh”

what he says about the beast & life being scientific…me & piggy would be buds if he was real lmao

“ralph nodded to piggy. ‘go on. ask him.’ piggy knelt, holding the conch. ‘now then. what’s your name?’ the small boy twisted away into his tent. piggy turned helplessly to ralph..” honestly piggy & ralph are the mom & dad of the colony (jack being the asshole uncle) it’s so cute

“’that’s a clever beast,’ said piggy, jeering, ‘if it can hide on this island.’” sarcastic piggy is sarcastic

more sarcastic piggy earlier in the book: “you got your small fire all right” i lob him

indignant & shrill piggy… and his quote: “’what are we? humans? or animals? or savages?’” honestly lowkey want that tattooed

i fuckin hate jalph but admittedly jack’s jealous lil “’that’s right–favor piggy as you always do.’” is salty & gay lmao

the whole three blind mice convo…i luv

particular highlight in that scene: “’i’m scared of him,’ said piggy, ‘and that’s why i know him. if you’re scared of someone you hate him but you can’t stop thinking about him. you kid yourself he’s all right really, an’ then when you see him again; it’s like asthma an’ you can’t breathe. i tell you what. he hates you too, ralph—’” POOR BABYYY

also “’i know about people. i know about me. and him. he can’t hurt you: but if you stand out of the way he’d hurt the next thing. and that’s me.” IN THE END ROGER’S THE ONE WHO HURTS HIM UGH :(

“’keep piggy out of danger.’” YOU ASSHOLES LET HIM DIE

piggy holding his breath until his asthma acts up & then the boys just leave him??? what dicks

“jack cleared his throat and spoke in a queer, tight voice. ‘we mustn’t let anything happen to piggy, must we?’” AND THEN YOU LET HIM D I E U SALTY BITCH QUIT IT

“piggy put on his one glass and looked at ralph. ‘now you done it. you been rude about his hunters.’ ‘oh shut up!’” why dont more ppl ship them?? compared to jalph theres nothing??? theyre like a married couple it’s precious. like i said - mom & dad of the island.

piggy getting braver & being more of a leader once jack leaves!!! im proud of him!!

“he [simon] sought for help and sympathy and chose piggy” k the two most humane & sympathetic kids on the island, and the two doomed ones, gravitate towards each other & look out for each other & it so sadd

piggy being “so full of pride in his contribution to the good of society” he didnt deserve his fate he was so good im so sad

samneric & piggy making a little mini feast for them?? thats so cute???

also “piggy broke into noisy laughter and took more fruit. ‘he might be.’ he gulped his mouthful. ‘he’s cracked’.” piggy u get teased for bein different why would u tease simon (behind his back too) for bein diffrent u hypocrite. noisy laughter tho aw

piggy & ralph laying by the fire & talking…ralph didnt deserve piggy honestly he wasnt even grateful until the very end for such a good friend in such a horrible situation??? ugh

“when he understood how far ralph had gone toward accepting him he flushed pinkly with pride” see? good friendship. piggy just wanted a friend & to be considered valuable. and ralph finally started appreciating him

“piggy took off his glasses, stepped primly into the water, and then put them on again.” prim: stiffly formal and respectable; feeling or showing disapproval of anything regarded as improper. idk why this is funny to me

when he gets annoyed and starts slapping the water & yelling. temper tatrum lmao. dont blame him

“piggy stirred the sand under water and did not look at ralph. ‘p’raps we ought to go too.’ ralph looked at him quickly and piggy blushed. ‘i mean–to make sure nothing happens.’ ralph squirted water again.” they’re so fuckINGN CUTE

“piggy touched ralph’s wrist. ‘come away. there’s going to be trouble. and we’ve had our meat.’“ SO MUCH OF THIS STORY WOULDVE BEEN AVOIDED IF THE OTHER BOYS ACTUALLY LISTENED TO PIGGY

“ralph sat down in the grass facing the chief’s seat and the conch. piggy knelt at his left, and for a long minute there was silence.” i luv their dynamic sm. ruler & adviser. no questions asked. ultimate loyalty. so good.

piggy trying to be all rational about simon while ralph freaks out…what a scene. also i luv how awkward their convo w samneric immediately after is

piggy wants to be rescued most and hes the one whos killed!!!! bullshit!!!! justice for piggy!!!

when ralph says piggy should write a letter to his auntie & he takes it serious & ralph laughs & piggy doesnt get it. awe.

the scene where they take his glasses ;-; u made my boi piggy hav an ass-mar attack u monsters,

PIGGY GETTIN ALL BADASS & DETERMINED & TALKING ABOUT WHAT HES GONNA TELL JACK

“he held out the conch to piggy who flushed, this time with pride” and then “piggy sought in his mind for words to convey his passionate willingness to carry the conch against all odds.” the conch is the only constant on the island, the only dependable thing he has besides ralph, so hes so invested in it, hes pretty much deemed himself the caretaker of the conch, and it dies with him…

the scene where piggy reassures ralph & it says “the twins were examining ralph curiously, as though they were seeing him for the first time” is probably my fav scene in the entire book…it just really shows, in a couple of lines, the characters that ralph & piggy are, and what their relationship is like, and why they’re a partnership throughout the whole book. fantastic.

“’am i safe?’ quavered piggy. ‘i feel awful–’” fuckin foreshadowing, i hate it. imagine being practically blind on a cliff and then, minutes later, falling to your death. god it’s terrible.

piggy crying for ralph not to leave him actually hurts like psychically in my chest. him and simon were babies??? i know it’s fiction but kids are the sweetest things, not even fictional kids deserve to be killed so mercilessly??? im so fuckin sad

his last words…powerful and iconic.

i dont wanna talk about his death. im very sad

k ik it’s terrible but when he died his skull cracked open & his brain more or less fell out (”and stuff came out”, “with his empty head”), and thats p macabre but it’s also symbolic and genius bc when roger killed him he also took away the only thing he had going for him, the only thing that gave him superiority over the others - his intelligence. his brain.

of course, have to end on: “ralph wept for the end of innocence, the darkness of man’s heart, and the fall through the air of the true, wise friend called piggy.” cue me shutting the book, hugging it to my chest, and sobbing

#lotf #books #sorry i just. im rlly emotional & i rlly luv piggy #txt

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