#Mmmm piss can pie my favorite

[p0is0n-is-th3-cur3]

Reblog for a larger sample size this is for a fight

[the-world-wont-listenn]

Marauders head cannons!!!

Lily draws hearts as the dots above her i's

James would say "I'm just being a silly billy!" then stick out his tongue (okay drake)

Marlene's favorite Taylor swift song was getaway car and she'd literally pick up dorcas and run around carrying her bridal style singing it at the top of her lungs

sirius made loads of thirst traps but really shitty ones and Marlene bullied the living shit out of him calling him a dumb bitch and that he looked ugly and that she could see all 5 of his chins from that angle

Remus is Jewish and to show his support James once ran into the dorm with a tiny kipper on his head singing god save the queen thinking 100% that god save the queen was 'the Jewish national anthem'

James had a lisp for a week cause of a prank that went slightly too far and lily took the piss out of it every time that they argued and she would just randomly switch to a lisp and say stuff like "oh does wikkle jamesie not wike dat?" and she'd purposefully make it so she spat on him

sirius watched bluey until peter and mary bullied him out of it

"I'm a big strong man I can win Evans heart over!" "James last night you wore a purple onesie with tiny green dinosaurs on it the only heart your winning over is a child's, fucking pedophile" - Remus and james

James wears the footies onesies and remus bullies the living fuck out of him for it

James and sirius lost at theme park:

"uhm can 'my little Remus moony sugar pie plum' come to lost and found we have a special present waiting for you" "honest to GOD I can't take him ANYWHERE"

‘this anyones kid?’ ‘yes that is actually my boyfriend’ ‘…how old are you two.?’

"wait where's sirius and James?" "LILY ESCAPE WHILE WE STILL CAN"

' lily look how about we go on the ferris wheel instead of finding those two’ ‘you have amazing ideas’

sirius and James would be at the top waving down at them with cotton candy and 2 of those massive arse teddies that cost shit loads to win

sirius would have a wolf one and James would have a unicorn

James was obsessed with pokemon and he bought harry a Pikachu onesie and himself a Squirtle one and lily had an Evie one

Snape watching anime

James and sirius did too but they stopped as soon as they found out that Snape watched It aswell

they definitely did the Naruto run down the corridors while Remus and peter slowly died from embarrassment

"we don't know them wdym I've never heard of a specky lad called James or an unfairly attractive boy that may or may not be my boyfriend before whatttttt"

"Remus, sweetheart, darling, baby, love, hunny, don't try and lie to me I'm not particularly pleased that the other one is MY boyfriend but at least I'm taking responsibility for my own actions"

James is obsessed with prime

Remus is obsessed with orange lucozade and milk chocolate

James makes harry try his prime

‘That dead nice!’ He says while vomiting 😍

"so, what'd ya think pringle?" "mmmm really nice" "JAMES STOP FEEDING OUR CHILD YOUR WEIRD YOUTUBE JUICE"

Pringle - sirius started it and now James calls him it

lily calls him cute things like sweetheart and stuff but James calls him pringle and big hazza

"oi hazza, help your old man with these won't you" "James he's 3" "so? when I was 3 I was building myself a doll house!" *sirius in the background* "AHA FRUITY MOTHER FUCKER"

Remus got tickled alot when he was he so when someone tried to tickle him he’d just do that slow turn around and stare and James tried to imitate him but with his prime and he just looked stupid

James would say let's skaddadle and buckle up buttercup when someone makes him angry

James called lily sugar bunny once and lily broke his finger

and once when he was trying to be sexy he said "buckle up buttercup, it's going to be a bumpy ride" and lily removed James off of her, looked him in the eye and said "I'll be back in five minutes so I can recover and we're going to pretend this never happened."

then lily told sirius and sirius called him buttercup for ages

‘Oi buttercup! Cmre!’ ‘Huh? U mean remus? He isnt here ‘ ‘no you fucking nob’

"hey you wanna" *lip bite and awful attempt at a wink* "you know"

James is afraid of the word sex

if they had the internet james would post ‘Christmas haul 😇’ and Marlene would join in half way through to take the piss and in the end half of Hogwarts was showing off James' shit that he got and at the end Alice and lily held hands, bowed then just walked off

James would watch 1000 pound sisters and dance moms religiously

they did a nativity one year

Remus was the donkey

sirius was the baby jesus

James was pregnant mary and sirius was inside James shirt for half of it until he fell out and fell off the stage

cracked his head open but still went on with it and he was bleeding severely but he was still the best damn baby Jesus out there

and Minnie was the in keeper and Marlene was the inkeepers wife but she went all out for her one line

Marlene's line- "sorry love, no room here, you can stay at the barn if you'd like?" but she made a song to go with it and a choreographed dance team - made up of Severus, Dumbledore and 3 elves from the kitchens

and Alice was Joseph and from then on called sirius her little baby jesus

sirius had the nickname jesus for ages afterwards

Elves had a rap solo each

one time James and sirius were arguing over the best Taylor swift song (james-love story, sirius-anti hero) and then Remus walked in with chocolate and an orange lucozade singing bejeweled and Mary and peter were singing shake it off

peter was literally everywhere. everywhere you looked peter mfing pettigrew was there, most of the time singing shake it off like if you go to the great hall at around 2:30 at night on a Tuesday peter will be on the tables singing shake it off

Sirius can't speak french but is 100% convinced he's great at it.

He finds out he's 1/4 french and walks into the dorm wearing a beret and a baguette in his arms with a fake twirly mustache.

Remus can speak french and uses it for his own benefit.

"es-tu un pervers qui tripote des vers pendant qu'il dort" - are you a pervert that fiddles with wormy while he sleeps

Remus would use reddit religiously

Remus and lily were childhood friends due to both growing up in the same area (tho Remus is Welsh and lily is Scottish) and dancing around to Abba is still their favorite hobby

Remus-welsh

Lily-scottish

James-scouse

Peter-scottish

Sirius-posh british but 1/4 french (assmued that meant he was fully french and 'turned french' for like a week

Regulus- posh british but 1/4 french (actually bothered to learn french to get in touch with his french roots unlike sirius)

Marlene-northern

Alice-northern

Mary-southern

Lana del ray would put James into a coma

Peter used a ketchup bottle as a fake guitar once

James would randomly grab lily's leg while she was say down and use to as a fake guitar (when they were dating ofc)

Remus loved Bowie more than life itself

Karaoke nights in the gryffindor common room

When Remus was pissed off with sirius he would call him tampon rather than pads

Peters favorite horrible histories song was Pachacuti and he had a full choreographed dance for it

James favorite flavour of chocolate was white chocolate because he couldn't handle dark chocolate and milk was 'too basic'

James is the type of guy to say 'me me me me me' when he's snoring

At least once James was angry at snape and was abt to fight him and he said "someone hold me back!" then literally no one did

Sirius would randomly quote the most random stuff when he was stressed, for example, when sirius found out that Reggie got the dark mark he quoted dance moms on 3 occasions

"I had not choice, sirius!" "I cut my finger on my mom's ring, I hope I can still dance!" "Sirius shut the fuck up."

Sirius would play my singing monsters 24/7

If they were a band. Sirius is the singer. James is the guitarist. Remus plays the bass and Peter is the drums but Peter only knows shake it off so marlene stood in for him. Dorcas is the band manager and Mary and Peter watch rehearsal. Lily doesn’t bother with that crap but to support James she plays keyboard sometimes

James wanted to be the singer but sirius said he wanted to be it cause he'd be at "the front and he'd be the eye candy for the girls" Then he’d wink at remus

"the marauders and sirius" “no it’s Sirius and the marauders “ "sirius why do you need to be specifically mentioned" "because I'm special" Then him and James would argue over Sirius’s name being first "ITS SIRIUS AND THE MARAUDERS" "ITS LOVE STORY." "ANTI-HERO."

Go-to insults

Peter: fatty

Sirius: numpty, plonker

James: cheeky spaz, jizz face

Remus: idiot or something really personal

Reactions to someone calling peter fat

Remus: he's not fat he's just plus sized

James: he's not fat he's just big boned

Sirius: he's not fat he's just a big boy (whacks peters belly as he says big boy)

Mary McDonald:

- came from a caribbean single parent immigrant home

- helped raise all her siblings as the eldest daughter so had a complex about never having children

- was estatic about coming to hogwarts each year but constantly feels guilty leaving her mother to do everything on her own

- loved traditionally feminine things & was gryffindor seeker

- came off as brash & egotistical, it was really just a cover for her insecurities

- struggled to come to terms with her asexuality after immense racially targeted sexualisation from her peers

- looked out for people

- lit up a room with her laughter

- very funny

- fashionable

- spoke her mind & for that reason was stereotyped as loud & abrasive

- often felt separated from her culture so tried her best to embrace it & share it with her friends

- was very chill about realising she liked girls

- observant & emotionally intelligent, it made her scarily good at reading ppl & knowing what to say to hurt them when she's mad

- made it a point to not make the same mistake twice

- didn't join the order after remembering dumbledore's actions (or lack thereof) after her attack

- peters bff

Lily Evans:

- was petunia's "weird sister" for most of her childhood because of her quietness & lack of interest for boys & getting married

- craves their big sister's approval

- was anti-social her first year at hogwarts out of guilt for being there when her sister couldnt be

- stopped hiding in petunia's shadow at some point & reinvented herself as the noble head girl most remember her as

- projected an image of being perfect & hid the darker more selfish parts of themselves away as she feared everyone would leave her if they saw

- was not perfect

- often felt pressured by people's expectations of her to do the right thing

- struggled with depression

- always seemed so wise but never truly knew what to do

- considered going back to snape many times as they felt he was the only one they could be their true self around

- fought comphet valiantly

- was NOT overjoyed about having a kid in the middle of the war

- battled the urge to run away & leave everything behind more than once

- died hiding a huge secret part of herself so dumbledore could sell an image of a courageous matyr to the world

Marlene McKinnon:

- was friends with james & peter growing up

- had a completely innocent crush on effie as a child & teenager

- rivaled james in their love for quidditch

- extremely competitive and determined to best everyone in everything, takes silly games way too seriously but it's endearing

- struggled coming to terms with their sexuality & identity as they grew older

- often felt isolated from their female peers when they couldn't relate to them when they talked about boys

- struggled with feeling perverted when female friends would get comfortable around them

- fought more with not liking boys than liking girls

- their parents' relationship issues at home made them go through a dark phase in sixth year

- became snappy & temperamental, lost interest in quidditch, fought with dorcas alot

- started wearing leather jackets & dark eye makeup

- after years of struggling to identity crisis, they eventually found themselves

- they regained some of their brightnesw, but still kept their style, often traded clothes with sirius with how similiarly they dressed

- was eventually murdered by a long time friend

Dorcas meadows:

-despite her high status as a rich pureblood, she defyed slytherin stereotypes with her progressives views on blood status

- her dismissal of blood hierachy were partly shaped by her experiences as a black witch because being pureblood unfortunately didn't save her from racism

- she was conscious of her temper & presented herself in a practiced way, understanding how being dark-skinned & black could affect how she's perceived

- was elegant, poised & remarkably fashionable

- could cut ppl like a knife with her words without even raising her voice

- had a motherly nature to her & always looked out for first years

- even non slytherins respected & admired her

- it wasn't until marlene was kiIIed that she lost all her elegance & control & went batshit insane, no longer caring about getting herself dirty

Alice Fortescue:

-lily's role model

- herbology queen

- kind & loving but no pushover

- wise beyond her years

- talented at balancing being responsible & having fun

- more of a trouble maker than people gave them credit for

Pandora lovegood:

- grew up in the woods with her paranoid grandmother surrounded by more magical creatures than people

- had a tendency to ask sudden philosophical questions, only regulus could keep up

- polite but extremely detached from her social surroundings

- sweet to those she really liked

- had a comforting presence but was much darker than people assumed

- intelligent in a mad scientist way

- rules & concern for her life never stopped her from experimenting with dark magic

- had really thought she had the hang of it when trying to destroy the horcrux

- she didn't

Remus and lily had choreographed dances to most Abba songs and when they were played at her wedding they both still preformed them though lily was in heals and sirius and James were absolutely gobsmacked and just watched in amazement

Things that would send walburga in to a coma

-sirius' hair in poa

-either of her kids liking men

-james potter in general

-sirius dating a half-blood

-muggle-borns actually being good at magic

-lesbians

-marlene.

-remus being a werewolf

-gingers

-peter

-american girl dolls

-pirates of the caribbean

-jeggings

-james Corden

-ellen de generous

-barbie princess and the pauper

-that one scene in were the millers where they pretend that drugs are their baby (also the one where Kenny got bit by a tarantula)

-max stani

-raisins

-skinny jeans

-shark boy and lavq girl

-michael cera

-the barbie movie

-love actually

Peter is the BIGGEST 1d fan (rock me was his favorite)

James always has his feet out

Lily's favorite Christmas film was love actually

Dorcas' fav colour was orange/yellow

Alice and Frank as the olive theory but like not really cause they both loved olives but frank lied about it cause Alice was so happy when they fit the olive theory

James had a Lego collection

Sirius had a shit poker face

James once broke 4 bones trying to do a back hand spring (sirius did it perfectly first try)

Sirius can't stay still when he's sleeping ending in Remus with LOTS of bruises

All of them (the marauders + the girls + frank) played a massive game of hide and seek all throughout Hogwarts and peter went missing for three days

James but as the 'drakes the kinda guy' trend.

Marlene calls James her little white boy

Parental issues:

Sirius: issues

Marlene: mummy

James: mostly daddy but he's chill with both

Peter: single mum

Remus: daddy issues (mums dead)

Lily: sister issues

Alice: happy family

Dorcas: happy family

Mary: divorced parents but happy with both

Frank: closer with his mum

Mary and peter play hello kitty island adventure

James is a girl dad

Lily is a boy mum

Fav ts song:

James: love story (tv)

Sirius: anti hero

Remus: bejeweled

Peter: shake it off

Mary: Betty

Marlene: getaway car

Lily: paper rings

Alice: All too well (tv)

Dorcas: champagne problems

The girls did a ranking of all the boys based on looks and personality and they put James and sirius at the bottom to piss them off but just above James they put Snape to spite James. Frank and peter were at the top.

Fancasts

James: Aaron Taylor Johnson

Sirius: Ben barnes

Remus: Andrew Garfield

Peter: lewis capaldi

Regulus: Timotheè chalamet

Lily: Sophie Skelton

Marlene: bebadoobe

Dorcas: Janelle osei-tutu

Mary: Sofia Bryant

Alice: young winnona Ryder

Frank: Jim sturgess

Snape: Louis Garrel

Barty: young David Tennant

Peter is lactose intolerant but eats the most dairy

[xmber-bull]

Pick  one  of  your  muses . Fill  in  the  questions/statements  as  if  you were  your  muse  in  a  new  post Tag  five  people  to  do  this  meme

TAGGED BY: @rhesus-skavative

TAGGING: @fiery-ambitions, @snugsmane, @padshiyx​, and anyone else who cares

((have a happy Zhagaak :) ))

1. What  is  your  name ?  Zhagaak.

2. What  is  your  real  name ? Name’s Zhagaak. Make me repeat it again an’ I’ll skin ya.

3. Do  you  know  why  you  were  called  that ?  . . . ‘Cause m’ name’s Zhagaak?

4.  Are  you  single  or  taken ?  Single. An’ ready t’ mangle. (Snickering is heard off screen.) ... What? What’re you laughin’ at?

5.  Have  any  abilities  or  powers ? Well, I’m strong as any Beastman should be. ‘S that count?

6. Stop  being  a  Mary Sue.   Th’ fuck ‘s that supposed t’ mean?

7. What’s  your  eye  color ?  Uhhhh... I dunno. I think my tribesmen have said orange?

8. How  about  your  hair  color ? Mmmm, I think a kinda yellowish? Dunno how t’ describe it.

9. Have  you  any  family  members ? Alive? Nah.

10. Oh ? What  about  pets ?  Nah. Couldn’t be fucked t’ ‘ave one, though I know m’ tribesmen like t’ capture humans from time t’ time.

11. That’s  cool  I  guess,  now  tell  me  about  something  you  don’t  like: Th’ basics- Civilization, Society, Humans, Law, Order, that whole thin’. ‘Course, me personally, I hate magic, people who use magic, healers, an’ bathin’. 

12.  Do  you  have  any  hobbies / activities  you  like  doing ? Killin’. Huntin’. Findin’ weird lookin’ rocks- Not collectin’ ‘em, mind ya. Aaaaaaaaaan’ weapon maintainin’.

13. Ever  hurt  anyone  before ?  . . . Y’ serious?

14. Ever …. killed  anyone  before ?  Now ya really fuckin’ wit’ me.

15. What  kind  of  animal  are  you ?  Use y’ eyes. Y’ got two ‘a them.

16. Name  your  worst  habits.  I’m apparently known t’ pick at th’ base of m’ horns? An’ m’ piercin’s. An’, apparently, accordin’ t’ m’ tribesmen, I’ve got a habit ‘a ‘Thinkin’ too hard ‘bout thin’s.’ 

17. Do  you  look  up  to  anyone  at  all ?  Nah.

18. Gay,  straight,  or  bisexual ? What does any ‘a that even mean.

19. Do  you  go  to  school?  Go t’ what?

20. Do  you  ever  want  to  marry  and  have  kids  one  day ? Hell no. Last thing I need is t’ take care of a little shit an’ piss creatin’, banshee wailin’ beastman.

21. Do  you  have  any  fanboys / fangirls ? What, like, t’ cool me down? Nah.

22. What  are  you  most  afraid  of ? . . . Magic users.

23.  What  do  you  usually  wear ? Some straps, a pauldron, a loincloth an’ train, as well as a cape. 

24. Do  you  love  someone ? Nah. Don’t got time for it.

25. When  was  the  last  time  you  wet  yourself ? Take th’ question an’ shove it up y’ ass.

26. Well,  it’s  not   over  yet!  (It was at this point that Zhagaak let out an infuriated yell that sounded like a cross between a bull screaming and a human screeching.)

27. What  class  are  you ? Hah! Class. Y’ really think Beastmen have classes like human cities? Y’ must be stupider than an orc.

28. How  many  friends  do  you  have ?  . . . Define... Friends.

29. What  are  your  thoughts  on  pie ? I swear t’ th’ 4 chaos gods, y’ humans have th’ strangest goddamn creations... WHAT’S A PIE?!

30. Favorite drink? Blood. An’ Water.

31. What’s  your  favorite  place ? I don’t got one- We constantly walk around an’ explorin’, I don’t got a place t’ call m’ favorite.

32. Are  you  interested  in  someone ?  Nah. [He sits awkwardly. Too awkwardly. He’s definitely hiding something.]

33. Would  you  rather  swim  in  the  lake   or  the  ocean?  I can’t swim.

34. What’s  your  type ? . . . [Authors Note: People who can defeat him and also show him some kindness. Usually something that doesn’t mix well.]

35. Are  you  wanting  the  quiz  to  end ? [He’s already left.]

[outlawqueenbey]

Care to Share?

@oqpromptparty DAY 2: 

"The poor guy at table 4 has almost ordered the whole menu just so he can look at you and you didn't even give him a smile. How about when you slip him your number instead of ask what dessert he wants." (#18)

It's been nearly eight hours and she is bloody exhausted. Working a double shift has done an absolute number on her spine, it aches in a way that is beyond what aleve or her heating pad will help. And God forget about her feet. She is sure they are bleeding and mangled by now thanks to the heels her boss insists all the female waitresses wear. The guys are allowed flat dress shoes, and she has some damn cute flats, but no, she has to be chained into these murderous torture devices. It's a damn good thing they are Jimmy Choo's and her legs look killer in them, which usually helps with tips from men whose eyes linger a little too long on her frame.

But it's almost eleven, her head is throbbing and she is about ready to smack the group of frat boys at table 20 if they don't leave after their eighth round of tequila. She is absolutely no mood to deal with their grabby hands and vulgarity for another minute. Job be damned, if the platinum blonde hair dude so much as tries to touch her and call her "sweetheart" one more time, she is going to throttle him.

Just two more tables to pay and then she can go home. To her soft luxurious mattress and flannel pajamas. Henry will be asleep more than likely which is the third night in a row she hasn't made it home in time to read him another chapter of Harry Potter. At this rate Ms. Lucas will have gone through the entire third book and Regina won't have spent a single night with her son reading. But bills have to be paid. And this job is the only thing keeping her and her son in their apartment right now.

"Regina you look like you're about to fall over on your feet."

Tink sets her tray down, leaning against the bar as Regina waits for the bartender to come back with a platter of tequila and limes. He's taking his freaking time pouring them too. Making eyeballs at some long hair blonde who in all honesty either looks like she is about to punch Killian or kiss him. Secretly Regina hopes it's the first. She'd love to see that eyeliner by smudged just a touch by a hard smack of a fist.

"Hello? Earth to Regina?"

"What?" She turns, shaking her head out of it's foggy fantasy of being the fist that whams into that dumb scruffy dark beard. It's his fault that gang of boys is still here anyway. They are his friends. He should have to deal with their drunken nonsense.

A hand waves in front of her eyes. "You need to take a day off girl. It's like talking to a zombie." Tink chuckles patting Regina's arm though she scowls at the comment. "That or you need to go talk to the guy at table 23."

"He's still here?"

"Every thursday for the past month."

"He's become quite a regular for you."

Blonde curls shake as Tink rolls her eyes and dead pans Regina who is finally getting her tray of liquor set. "It's not me he keeps coming back for."

Regina pays the comment no mind, just grabs her tray and huffs out as she walks back to the table that is whooping and hollering at her. Fucking gits. It would be so nice to accidentally stumble and drop all of tequila right on top of them. Perhaps if their hair gel got wet they'd flip out and finally leave.

"Hey hot stuff, we were wondering if you forgot about us!" One of the idiots jests towards her, and for the love of god if he doesn't get it sweaty palm off her hand she is going to set him on fire with something.

"Sit down! Have a drink with us."

She snorts, rolls her eyes and crosses her arms defiantly, "I have better plans."

"Like what? A tub of ice cream and netflix?" Another dipshit chimes in. "Come on, you know you want to sit with me. I'll take care of you."

Instead of pulverising the toad like she wants to, she just smirks, leans over the table so he can get a generous view of her cleavage nicely pressed up in her little black dress. It works. His eyes drop straight to her breasts, jaw gaping a touch as she slides his tequila back towards her, sliding her finger far to seductively around the rim of it. Boys. They are far too easy to manipulate.

"You're not my type. And I don't drink tequila." She stands, leaving the shot untouched as they boo as she walks away from their table, depositing their bill at the same time. Hopefully it will work and they will piss off and she can go home.

Letting out a heavy breath as she hit the bar once more, it's not even two minutes of peace before both Ruby and Tink are saddling up beside her again. "Regina, we need to talk."

"About what?"

"The guy that has been here for the past four hours throwing you pitiful glances every time you walk by. He's dying to talk to you Regina."

She knows who they are talking about. He comes in every Thursday, sits in the corner booth and eats nearly everything on their menu and just waits till last call happens. She's watched him the past few times, not that anyone else knows she too eyes him up from the side as she passes by. He's ridiculously handsome. All bright blue eyes rimmed by a sapphire ring, light brown hair speckled with a touch of gray, broad shoulders, and a smile that could quite possibly end world wars if his dimples came out to play. She'd have to be blind to not notice how attractive he is. But even if she was, his voice is always calm and soft, and he smells like the leaves in fall. It would be hard for her to not notice him.

"Well, I'm finally off and going to go see if Jefferson will whip me up a midnight snack." Tink blushes as she looks towards the kitchen. It makes Regina smirk down at the tiny blonde. "Does this snack include food?" Ruby chimes in, tossing her long dark hair back in a laugh when Tink scoffs and fiddles with her hair. "You two are ridiculous. We are just friends."

"Mmmm, friends who just happen to have midnight meals together?"

"Shut up both of you. Regina can you finish up with the guy at 23 for me?"

"Why don't you do it?"

"Because." Tink smiles and walks away, leaving Regina and Ruby together at the bar. The later grinning wolfishly at Regina who avoids the eye contact at all costs. The last thing she wants is to hear Ruby make to some comment about how Regina should give the poor bloke a chance and actually talk to him.

"You know, he comes in here every week and waits like a puppy for you to come play with him."

Well, so much for hoping. Regina sighs, runs her hands through her hair and grabs the guys check. She's just going to drop it off. That's it. Hopefully he has cash and not a card she has to come back with the machine to pay.

His eyes flick to her as she approaches, a smile bitten back rather poorly as he exhales a very long breath. He looks nervous. Adorable. But nervous.

"Hi, Tink is off so I am just going to finish up with you okay?" She sets his bill down.

He beams, and her stomach flips over. He's got a gorgeous smile. Something that shouldn't affect her so much. But it does.

"Thank you, Regina."

Her name on his lips has her eyebrows raising. She hadn't told him her name. He chuckles, and nods to her nametag. And she feels ridiculous that there had been a chance he'd asked Tink for her name.

"No problem."

"Are you off for the evening?"

She flicks her eyes over to the table of guys that are whistling in her direction, hollering for another round. "If that table would finally figure out that I am not having a drink with them and they'd leave, then yes, I'd be off."

"Poor bastards."

She cocks her eyebrows at him and he bites down on his lower lip.

"They are clearly swinging above their league."

The laugh that bubbles out of her is unexpected, and her hand flies to her mouth to cover it up. "Yes...well..." She dosen't know actually what to say to him. The comment whisking her nerves like scrambled eggs.

"Robin." He extends a hand, waiting for her to accept his greeting. It takes her a moment, her thumb swiping over her knuckles once before she gives in and lets her fingers touch his. It's warm. Tingles and sparks in a way she's never felt before. It has her in awe in all honesty. And it appears Robin is in the same boat. The way his eyes linger on their joint hands for a touch longer than normal.

Clearing her throat she pulls her hand away, loathe to do so, but it's not like she can exactly stand here holding this guys hand for all eternity. Robin swallows, sends her a shy smile and toys with the edge of the leather check book resting on the table.

"Could I bother for a slice of key lime pie?"

"Oh. Uh." Her gaze glances up at the clock, 10:52pm. The kitchen closes at 10:00. "Sorry, but the kitchen guys are done for the night."

"Ah." Robin nods his head, slinking back into the booth cushion. "Perhaps another time."

Regina's mind wanders to the slice they have saved for her in the fridge in the back, saran wrapped and most likely half deflated on a paper plate. It's her favorite dessert that occasionally she lets herself binge on.

"It will be on a credit card. Thank you."

Oddly, she doesn't feel quite so irritated at the fact she has to come back to his table as she thought. "I'll be right back." She smiles, one that he returns and she turns on her heel and heads back to the bar, demanding her heart to stop thumping against her ribcage. For a few minutes she lets her eyes wander back to him, taking in the way he thumbs the last bit of his whiskey and scowls at the crowd of men at her other table. Seems she isn't the only one who doesn't appreciate their rowdiness.

"Killian. I'm done with your friends. They are all yours." She smirks at the bartender who rolls his eyes and waves her off, the blonde he's been chatting up for most of the night still sitting in front of him, leaning much closer than an hour ago.

Taking one last look at the clock, she heads back to Robin, machine in hand and beyond ready to get home to her son. Harry Potter is waiting after all.

"All ready to go?" She reaches for Robin's credit card, swiping it through and punching in his ridiculously large bill for one. Four hours in a restaurant clearly isn't easy on the bank account. He must make a pretty comfortable living if he can do this once a week for the past month.

"Plans for your night?"

"I'd thought to eat myself into a coma with pie, but alas that plan has failed. Roland will be disappointed." Robin chuckles, hitting the buttons to pay.

"Roland?"

"My boy. He's crazy for that pie. I've tried to make it at home, but it's not quite the same."

"How old is he?"

Why she is making small talk is beyond her. The guy has paid and she is free to go home. But she doesn't really want to leave. Not yet at least.

"A bundle of four year old energy."

"And you thought sugar would put him to sleep?"

Robin laughs, tossing back the rest of his whiskey. "Well if I had any self restraint I was planning to save him some for tomorrow after school. And what about yourself? Plans for the night?"

"I'm hoping my son will still be awake to read a chapter of Harry Potter. But I am pretty sure he will be dead asleep by the time I get home."

"I'm sorry for keeping you from him."

Technically he is. "You're not." A blatant lie and they both know it. So much so that Regina rolls her eyes and shrugs her shoulders pathetically. "I just haven't been home to read to him for three nights now. It's kinda getting to me I suppose."

"I can understand that. Time is a precious thing. Seems the harder we try to hold onto it, the quicker it slips away."

"Well, that is a very poetic way to say it. But yes, exactly. I just don't want to miss too much with him."

"You best be off then." He stands, smiles and stuffs his hands into his pockets as though he's afraid to touch her. And for whatever damn reason she wants him too. Touch her that is. Hold her hand again and maybe they could go eat a slice of pie together. That could be nice.

"I'll see you around sometime."

"Next Thursday?"

He blushes at that, caught red handed. "I'll be here."

She lingers for a moment, waiting for him to say something else, but he simply grabs his jacket and walks out their front door. The bar suddenly far too lonesome and quiet without his blue eyes.

"He's cute." Ruby slides up beside Regina, handing her the last slice of pie from the fridge before walking away, leaving Regina to stand here with a handful of pie and staring at the front door.

Without grabbing her coat, or really thinking anything through, she flies out the bar, her heels clicking against the concrete sidewalk. And he's probably already gone, the parking lot is empty. Dammit. Well a week to wait to talk to him again isn't the end of the world. Sighing she looks down at the pitiful plate of pie, it doesn't even look that appetizing anymore in all honesty.

"Regina?" His voice spins her around, and while she isn't usually caught for words, she suddenly has nothing to say. "I wanted to ask you a question. And please feel free to say no." He bites down on his bottom lip, hands still stuffed into his pockets. Regina waits for him to say something else, but he doesn't. Just stands frozen to the spot and stares at her. Like he is trying to figure her out with just looking.

"Do you, uh, do you want some pie?" She breaks the silence first, shoving the plate into his chest rather forcefully. He laughs and grabs the plate, his fingers touching the back of her hand. "I thought the kitchen guys were done."

"They are."

He eyes the dessert caught between them. "I take a slice home usually."

"Oh. I see."

"But you can have it."

"It's okay, Regina. You deserve this much more than I do."

She frowns. She really wants the pie, but then again she really doesn't.

"Something wrong?"

He tips his chin down to find her eyes that have left his. Leaning a fraction in closer to her, the paper plate crumpling a touch between them.

"No I'm fine. Have a good night Robin."

She pulls back, but his hand catches her elbow, "No wait. Care to share it?"

"What?"

"The pie?" Robin smiles, glances down at the partially squashed gooey green and whipped cream delicacy. "Roland is at a sleepover, and you said your boy was asleep already. Perhaps, we could…"

"Share?"

"Only if you want to. I can wait until next week to order some."

The smile blooms from her heart and breaks through her lips.

"Wait here, I'll go get two forks."

And he does. Sits on the picnic bench across the road underneath a large oak and beams as she walks back to him, pie in hand, two forks in the other and settles down beside him. And if he scooches in a little closer, well Regina really doesn't pay any mind, it's cold outside and his body heat it a welcome blanket around her.

It turns out, this is the best slice of pie either of them have ever had, and not the last they would share.

Fin.