#Mikki talks
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youngmassidehoe · 1 year ago
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Me: yeah people & society barely allow black women to have emotions let alone be serious or unhappy
Brain dead losers on here: its kinda hot when black women are angry at me ngl
I'm gonna start killing
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midnightdemonhunter · 3 months ago
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Feel like a creep!!! (less that i give, more that you want me)
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protect-namine · 6 months ago
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I was thinking the other day that man, kokuto neji is such a character and I haven't liked a writer character like this since... shang qinghua?
which naturally led me to this thought: jj fic with svsss-style au where neji transmigrates/gets isekai'd into the world of havenna. as domina, of course.
it's extra fucked up imo because at least when sqh transmigrated in his book, he made up all of those characters and they mostly stayed in the realm of fantasy. like, sure, lbh was kinda based on himself in some ways and mbj was his ideal fantasy, but they still mostly stayed fictional, you know? sqq (sy) had to fix his plots because the characters sqh wrote strayed too far from their original plotlines
but theater makes a fictional world a bit too real and personal, especially when you use real people as inspirations for your writing. with neji, he'd be looking at rukiora and see three different people (mitsuki acting as rukiora; rukiora who was written based on a younger version of neji; rukiora who is her own person in this weirdly real world of havenna). neji would see fugio and to him that is both sou acting as fugio and the fugio who grew up with poison flowers. miguel is both fumi and the guy who ran away from his neshiromi fields. the only constant would probably be chicchi. she is too much like kisa in that... well. neji didn't really have a backstory for chicchi. chicchi is a blank canvas just like kisa is as an actor.
anyway. yeah, very sv-style character arc where neji, much like shen yuan in sv, is forced to humanize the villain. except this villain was his creation and is also tied to a bunch of personal issues for neji that he Doesn't Want To Think About and also he doesn't? really understand the character he wrote tbh?
isn't art supposed to process your emotions for you!! why must he process these himself!!
can you imagine neji, who always casts himself as a seer of some sort (fortune teller, ushinoko) or someone who generally has some control over his future or his "creation" (who is mary if not just another side of neji anyway; she's takihime redux, and takihime is also. neji). imagine this dude being transported inside the play he wrote but he doesn't understand it and he has no control over it and everyone's acting both in character and out of character. he both knows and doesn't know these people. they're fictional but also... real? does he treat them as real people? is domina real? he wanted his actors to imbue parts of themselves into his characters. are these people really just characters from a script? are they his quartz classmates? is he allowed to even hope that that's the case?
it's both THE improv exercise of his dreams and also. a nightmare
#mine musings#liveblogging jj#jack jeanne#i do kinda want to write this eventually. like separate from a njmtsks fic#oh god. not me wanting to write a fic about a story within another story. oh rama havenna...#we can even throw in the whole prayer theme. like yes the priest preaches in a godless town and he carries a bible but hear me out#what if the god he's preaching about is himehiko instead#like. prayers and confession as offerings to a theater god. said theater god put you in your own play to “help” you fix it bc you#as the scriptwriter don't even understand anything about your own play#i kinda envision this as a neji & kai fic#though neji mostly struggles with rukiora and chicchi and the way domina prevents him from reacting authentically#neji knows everyone's backstories and inspiration but them BAM he has to face chicchi and he doesn't know anything about her#bc he was banking on kisa making chicchi her own character and being the 'transparent vessel' that helps everyone improve#and also he just had zero notes about chicchi lmao#neji every night at pontartia: is she being ooc right now or is this how chicchi was supposed to be all this time#like remember that time when he said to sou that he only realized what mukai's character was about after kisa got her act together#it's happening agaaainnnnn with chicchi#meanwhile rukiora hates him soooo much and neji is sad that he can't even confess about this to the priest bc it would be ooc for domina#mikki hates him!! except that's not mikki. but she looks and sounds and acts like mikki!! and also like a younger version of neji!!#he'll look to jire and he's all sad and mopey and neji is like. suzu having nuance is GREAT but also suzu not being cheery feels so bad man#where's my moodmaker? hachipochi missing hours :(#he tries to talk to sou but that's not sou that's fugio and also. fugio only cares about chicchi#domina barely even interacts with miguel so neji has to devise ways for domina to talk to him while being in character#but the minute he gets close rukiora is there and miguel would never talk to someone that makes rukiora upset. go away madame!!#neji is left to commiserate with otori/facchio and himehiko is laughing in the background
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soymikki · 2 years ago
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I've seen that serirei comic where reigen tries to kiss wawa but throws up on his shoes about 10 times and it kills me every time
HI ANON SORRY I DIDNT ANSWER BEFORE BUT FJSKKDDK I'm glad you like that bit bc there was no other way it was gonna end. The comedy gold of it was too much to resist. He's just a mess drunk like I adore him and his grossness
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urlocalbitchboy · 2 years ago
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Is anyone else getting absolutely obliterated with spam onlyfans promo blogs?
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dimiclaudeblaigan · 2 years ago
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not me thinking about how just bc i can’t write for rodrigue week, bc first i had covid and then i had a biopsy and now i have to wait for my elbow/arm to heal,
doesn’t mean i can’t just integrate something for him into miklan weekend
#DCB Comments#by which i mean. miklan and roddydad interacting#bc let me tell you. glenn and miklan? boyfriends. or at least well the closest thing to boyfriends outside of glenn being engaged#BUT LISTEN! LISTEN TO ME! miklan was causing trouble in houses in fraldarius territory! fraldarius territory!!#what if miklan was always you know bleh crests stupid inheritance ima be a baddie and that'll teach 'em -puts on sunglasses-#BUT THEN LIKE. after glenn died he just kinda. lost it. and got worse. and it was like. the one good thing in his life was gone#so he stopped holding back and wanted revenge on the world for treating him like trash ever since sylvain was born#one day rodrigue wants to talk to him. maybe it happens when he's causing bullshit in roddy's territory!#but he remembers! he does! he remembers miklan with glenn and how he used to actually be normal with him! smile around him!#how he wasn't a bandit around glenn! don't think he doesn't remember!!#roddydad well he knows miklan was angry bc he could never be with glenn bc of the arranged marriage with ingrid#and mikky knew ingrid and glenn loved each other even if him and glenn were kinda a thing#but!!! roddydad is DAD! he KNOWS when something's up! he saw mikky as his son in law just like ingrid was his daughter in law!#just like he sees sylvain as his son in love bc of fefe (just bc they're not together yet doesn't mean he doesn't see it he's no fool!)!!!#mikky is just as much family to him as everyone else!!! glenn cared about him!!! he knew mikky a lil bit as well!#he knows it's bc of old customs that mikky has suffered and bc matthias is a grumpy lil butt!#he's tried many times to get matthias to be a better parent bc he loves his best friend and wants him to have a happy family!!!#but matthias just... isn't mattydaddy!!! he's just matthias!!! he's not much of a dad dude you know???#so roddydaddy will be like a father in his place if that's what it takes to get mikky a better life!!!#I'M TELLING YOU WHAT IF RODRIGUE WAS THE ONE TO SAVE MIKKY IN HOUSES AND GIVE HIM A PROPER HOME#I'M TELLING YOU THAT WHAT IF SOMEONE FINALLY STEPPED UP TO RIGHT THE WRONGS OF THE PAST CUSTOMS#AND GIVE MIKLAN A /PLACE/ BC RODDY KNOWS THIS IS ALL WRONG AND NOBODY SHOULD HAVE TO FEEL THAT WAY#NOBODY SHOULD HAVE TO LIVE LIKE THIS. RODDY HE KNOWS THAT. SO HE'LL GIVE MIKKY THAT CHANCE#BUT MIKKY HAS TO PROMISE HE'LL BE GOOD! BEHAVE! HE CAN'T HURT FELIX OR SYLVAIN! IF HE DOES HE'S IN BIG BIG BIG DOODOO!#HE'S ALREADY HURT SYLVAIN AND RLY THAT /IS/ MATTHIAS' RESPONSIBILITY TO HANDLE. BUT FELIX?#OH IF HE HURTS RODDY'S SON HIS SON MY SON FELIX RODDYDADDY'S SON HE'S GETTIN' S M A C K E D#BUT HE DOES PROMISE THAT IF MIKKY IS GOOD DUDE HE WILL BE TREATED AS GOOD DUDE! WHAT IF RODRIGUE SAVED HIM THO#LISTEN TO ME FELLAS WHAT IF RODRIGUE SAVED MIKKY
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capseisen · 5 months ago
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Polycule Fursonas [Part 4]
Lena questions the concept of a "fursona".
[Part 1] | [Part 2] | [Part 3] | Part 4*
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rainswings · 10 months ago
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It breaks me, sometimes, when I hear about the dreams of my coworkers. One of the men who runs checkout stands went to art school and dropped out because he realized he couldn't make it, couldn't let art become a job, but fell for a girl there so hard, so deeply, she's now halfway across the world doing grad school and going to be an art conservationist, and before having this conversation and hearing this information I'd never seen so much happiness in his face, than when he spoke about how wonderful a job that is. I asked him what he drew, and he produced a little pocketbook full of the most intricate penwork, the berserk sword drawn in such detail I could feel the scrape and rough of the metal, chipped out with little black holes I thought I might fall into.
He's accepted this is his forever job, being a checkout clerk. He's willing to love a girl he won't see for years. I would break bones for him.
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benilos · 1 year ago
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Say cheese
omg i love it
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ahundredtimesover · 11 months ago
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I Want You to Stay (Series Masterlist) | JJK
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Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader
Genre/Tags: boss!JK x assistant!reader; idiot strangers to lovers; slow slow burn; k-drama feels (What’s Wrong with Secretary Kim-inspired); angst, drama, fluff, smut
Series Warnings: foul/explicit language; alcohol consumption & passing out, unhealthy coping mechanisms; family drama; minor injuries; power dynamics (JK starts off as a jerk); work-related anxiety, feelings of helplessness, insecurities; childhood traumatic experiences, nightmares; sexual harassment, prior incidence of domestic violence (PLS PLS BE CAREFUL WHEN READING); arts and business/property devt talk that’s probably inaccurate; commitment issues & emotionally constipated characters; cold and detached JK; explicit sexual content (specific warnings stated per chapter) (18+)
Word count: 261.3k
Status: Complete
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Series summary: Working for Jungkook isn’t the same as working for Hoseok. For starters, Jungkook doesn’t smile, he doesn’t appreciate you, and he gives you too much work. It doesn’t help that he’s incredibly handsome and has women at his beck and call. But as the tension grows, it becomes impossible to resist him. You've dedicated yourself to your job for 8 years so when you finally decide to put yourself first, he asks you to reconsider. And while you know that leaving is difficult, you learn that when it comes to Jungkook, staying is always so much harder.
Inspiration: Stay by Mikky Ekko
A/N: Hiii I am BAAACK! 🫡 This story is finally seeing the light of day after 3 years. I feel a little rusty, especially this being my first new JK series in 1.5 years! But it's also been a bit rough getting back into writing (and in Tumblr) after so long and after the year that was, so there won't be a schedule for chapter releases and I'll probably be a lot slower than usual. I wasn't sure if I was gonna go back to writing but I realized that I've missed interacting with you guys and screaming about stories so I do hope you give this some love. Fair warning that it's a really slow burn and some scenes are reminiscent of k-dramas. There are also sensitive and triggering topics so please proceed with caution!
And lastly, my biggest love and deepest gratitude to @wonwoonlight who's been the sweetest and loveliest person to talk to about everything, including this story. 🫶🏼 I give her credit for her amazing photos of Seoul (check moodboard) and for being the playlist manager. Please send her love as well!💕
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Season 1 -> Playlist 🎶: on the way home
Episode 1 (wc: 12k)
Episode 2 (wc: 11.9k)
Episode 3 (wc: 14.8k)
Episode 4 (wc: 11.4k)
Episode 5 (wc: 14.8k)
Episode 6 (wc: 14.6k)
Episode 7 (wc: 15.4k)
Episode 8 (wc: 17.4k)
Episode 9 (wc: 18.4k)
Episode 10 (wc: 20.6k)
Episode 11 (wc: 23.5k)
Episode 12 (wc: 24.7k)
Episode 13 (wc: 29k)
Episode 14 - End (wc: 32.8k)
Season 2 (??)
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youngmassidehoe · 3 months ago
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Stuck on a crowded train next to a hotep nigga im ready to end it all
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sanakiras · 3 months ago
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LIAR, LIAR!
PAIRING — kim mingyu x fem!reader
❝ AND THE DANCE FLOOR IS FILLING UP WITH BLOOD, BUT OH LORD, YOU’VE NEVER BEEN SO IN LOVE! ❞
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WORD COUNT — 13.5k
SYNOPSIS — in a dramatic turn of events, a rich businessman is found dead in his lavish estate, and the authorities believe it was no accident. as the detectives dig deeper, they ultimately end up with two key suspects: you, the businessman’s very own daughter, and your sworn enemy, kim mingyu. as the time progresses, tensions rise and secrets spill — and the truth has the power to either bring you closer together or tear you apart.
TAGS — murder mystery, rich rivals to partners in crime to lovers, whole lotta plot, explicit sexual content, somewhat graphic depictions of death, everyone and everything is dysfunctional™, mentions of suicide, unrealistic circumstances, moral compass is nowhere to be found, angst, medium long hair!gyu bc self-indulgence, tsundere-ish reader again guys sorry i love her so bad, mentions of parental neglect, this ended up so long help
♪ verydeadly - wolves (kanye west cover),, low - dancing and blood,, vessel - red sex,, florence + the machine - mermaids,, zayn - bordersz,, mikky ekko - who are you, really?,, q - alone,, danna paola - tenemos que hablar,, blue foundation - eyes on fire (4 ave version),, summer camp - i want you
NOTE — one of my favorite episodes of going seventeen remains bad clue 2020, i loved mingyu’s role in it and i could totally see him portraying darker/morally grey characters and rock tf out of it so. i wrote this solely based on that idea. the music recs above are also really nice to get into the vibe! enjoyyyy :D
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[ RETURN TO PART ONE ] ✧˚ · .⋆ ★ [ TWO ]
viii. I LOVE YOU LIKE A DRUG
november has a harsh cold to it that goes right through the skin of your cheeks. with your long black coat and matching gloves, you walk through the city, heading towards your lawyer’s office.
it’s been a few days since you last saw or talked to mingyu. you’ve been thinking about the kiss constantly, unable to stop it from clouding your mind. it’s hard to believe you hated his guts for years and completely changed your opinion on him within months — he took you by surprise on that. which you’re not sure how you feel about.
it’s as if his handprints were etched into your skin. you can still remember exactly how it felt, where they were. more importantly, perhaps, you know what your mind keeps leading to when the memory runs through your head.
that you want nothing more than for him to put his hands on you again. you want him so much that you have to clench your fists and tell yourself to get it together.
the universe must like to mess with you, as you receive a text from him at that exact moment. stopping in your tracks on the street, you’re just about to read it when you feel a hand on your shoulder.
once you’ve looked up from your phone, you see the devil himself standing there with a meek little smile on his face, which has you scoffing when he greets you. “hi.”
his dark hair is slicked back as he sports a thick winter jacket, jeans and black shoes. god, he’s handsome. why is he so annoying?
instead of responding to his greeting, you just speak your mind. “what’re you doing here?”
“chan mentioned you had an appointment in the neighborhood, so here i am. i wanted to see you.”
“why?”
“what, am i not allowed to visit my partner in crime?”
you purse your lips. “i thought we both agreed on discretion regarding our relationship.”
“and what kind of relationship is that?”
“an understanding.” your response comes out colder than anticipated, but you stick with it. “look, gyu, what we did… we probably shouldn’t do it again.”
he seems surprised. and a little disappointed, which he hides very quickly, but not quick enough.
so he pouts at you, doing his best not to dwell on it. “okay. any particular reason?”
you inhale sharply, trying to give him the best possible excuse you can come up with. “we agreed to keep it professional, didn’t we?”
“we did.” he nods, speaking in a way as if he were focusing on something else. “is that all there is to it? or do you have another reason?”
his gaze is playful, which makes you smile as you look down at your feet for a moment. “i’m sure you can fill the blanks.”
“interesting choice of words.”
“god, you’re such a perv.”
mingyu laughs when you punch his shoulder, his hand comfortable on your lower back. you don’t swat it away, utterly contradicting your previous words, but you can’t find it in yourself to care that much.
two days later, you’re over at his apartment, continuing your research where you left off last week, and you’re not sure if you’re imagining things, but it feels like there is a palpable tension in the air. soft rain taps against the windows while you’re looking at some security footage his friend seungkwan sent over about an hour ago.
with the two of you sitting beside eachother as you’re looking at the screen of your laptop, you find it difficult to focus on the footage, because you feel electrified by his mere presence. it’s ridiculous. he accidentally brushes your knee with your hand, and you feel a rush going through your body. a candle is lit on the table — his tan skin looks beyond beautiful, his brown eyes piercing through yours like never before.
you want him.
you. want. him. and no one else.
it’s driving you nuts, and as if he can read your mind, he begins to talk about it.
“i haven’t been able to stop thinking about our kiss.”
while the footage keeps playing in the background, you bite your lip, sucking in a breath. “gyu.” you say his name in a near scolding manner.
“do you like me?” he suddenly turns his head to face you, which feels borderline intrusive. like he’s able to see everything that’s going on in your head and heart.
it steals your breath, making your voice sound somewhat strained as a result, and you can’t even bring yourself to lie about it any longer. “i might.”
“i like you. a lot.” he says, and when you think he’s getting closer to you, you stand up from your seat, doing whatever you need to do to get it back together. you don’t want him to know how you really feel, so you clench your fists in your place, your back facing him.
“what does it matter? we’re nothing more than partners. that’s all there is to it.”
as you shake your head to yourself, he gets up as well, moving to stand behind you. “is that why you kissed me?”
“it was just the heat of the moment.”
“you’re a good liar — but not that good.” mingyu shamelessly eyes your body up and down, and when you look over your shoulder, he meets your gaze with something that appears to resemble pride, in a way.
arrogance, perhaps.
for whatever reason, that ticks something off in you. “you want me to be honest? fine. i don’t want to like you, mingyu. i didn’t want to enjoy that kiss. i’ve spent years hating you to the bone, and changing that opinion on you feels like betraying myself.”
he blinks at your sudden and blunt confession, but it’s honest and clear to him.
then he nods in understanding.
“just… hypothetically, if i said i wanted to kiss you again, what would you do?”
you notice a clear difference in his tone, his breathing, his eyes dropping down to your lips — oh, he’s fucking turned on. he knows you want him as badly as he wants you. you both know it.
“i’d tell you it was a one-time thing.”
he gets closer to you, eyelids hanging low and the hint of that damn smirk tugging at his mouth. “how about one more? for good measure. just to get our rocks off.”
the proposition is almost laughable, yet you selfishly find yourself agreeing. “just once?”
“just once.” the palm of his hand cups your jaw, and you know you’re done for when you lean in first, causing him to smile triumphantly right before his lips lock with yours.
this is what you’ve both been yearning for the past week. now that you have it, it feels like drugs, almost — addicting.
you kiss him with vigor, and his tongue slips into your mouth, leaving you aching for more. it’s when his hand pulls you closer by your waist that you force yourself to back away from him, both you and him gasping for air.
“gyu, we were supposed to—”
“keep things professional, i know,” he breathes out, his forehead resting against yours as if he has to make the biggest decision of his life, “but i don’t want to anymore.”
his hands are still on your waist, trailing down to the flesh of your upper legs, and he squeezes it, feeling sick at the idea of someone touching you there that’s not him.
“need you so bad. please — let me touch you.”
looking at his desperate form for a moment, you internally decide to go for whatever your body wants — and that’s to have him tonight.
so you roll your eyes, pulling him to you by his black t-shirt, your hands on the back of his neck before he can comprehend it. he hoists you up by the back of your thighs, taking you to his spacious bedroom.
your back touches the soft bed within seconds. his hands continue to glide up and down your body, and he subtly puts his one hand underneath the hem of your shirt, fingers touching your warm skin, and you almost forget to breathe.
mingyu feels your fingers pulling at the waistband of his jeans, and he relishes in how eager you are. he kisses your neck and moves lower painfully slowly, causing you to writhe underneath him, because you need him now.
it’s certainly a first for you to have such a need and desperation to fuck someone. and for him, of all people. if you had known about this in the morning, you wouldn’t have believed it.
but then again, the tension has been brewing between you two for years, reaching its highest point over the last couple weeks.
maybe he was onto something when he suggested for you to fuck him back in the strip club.
his lips are touching your bare stomach, and you show a hint of dominance by undoing the buttons of your pants and shoving down your panties, putting your hand on his head to guide it between your legs.
and he just lets you.
he takes your pants and underwear from your ankles and discards the pieces on the floor, hands on the back of your thighs once more as he pushes them to lean over his shoulders.
the first few seconds are spent basking in his excitement. his heart races when he looks you in the eye, and he grins to himself before diving in.
for some reason, he feels this primal urge to prove himself to you, to make you feel good like no one ever has before.
whatever the hell it is that made him have such a massive change of heart, he doesn’t know.
but he does know one thing — he worships the ground you walk on.
so to hear you gasp and whine for him when he eats you out only spurs him on to keep going, to make it dirtier and messier and keep having you moan his name.
mingyu encourages you to pull on his hair, and with each strand being pulled, he grows harder in his pants. he moans at the pain, humming against your pussy while his tongue is buried inside you.
you’re grinding against his face and he hums again, loving the feeling. “rub it in my face, baby, ‘s so good—” he babbles as his cock is rock-hard and throbbing against the fabric of his jeans, and he rubs his hard-on against the matress to get any kind of friction.
over the course of the years, even while hating him, you wondered if he was good in bed.
you didn’t think your question was going to be answered by first-hand experience.
he’s not only sickeningly good at providing pleasure — he seems to get off on it, too. your fingers clamp on his long strands of hair, thighs around his head, almost suffocating him, and even when you hit your first climax, he just keeps going. his tongue moves as if you’re not completely crumbling before him.
with a sudden sensitivity hitting you, you have to pull his face from your pussy, and he looks at you with lust-blown eyes and your wetness smeared over his lips and chin.
yeah, you fucking like him. jesus.
the little fang-shaped teeth he has show themselves when he grins at the mess he’s made of you. “want me to go again?”
“would you?”
“i’d keep going for hours if that’s what you want.”
pressing your lips together, you inhale deeply, ‘cause he looks like he means it, too. “well, as great as that sounds, i want you in me. now.”
he would’ve had a damn field trip eating you out again, but he certainly won’t complain, because he’s about to bust in his pants from just looking at you. his eyes return to your figure when you take your shirt off, dick twitching when you unclasp your lacy bra and show your completely bare body to him.
“are you just gonna keep staring?” you ask teasingly, and he needs a few seconds to get his brain running again, chuckling at your words before he removes his own clothes, pushing you back to lay you down.
“can’t help that i like what i see.”
you’re about to give him a witty retort in return when you feel the tip of his cock at the entrance of your hole, pushing forward just the slightest bit, and your lashes flutter at the sensation. he bites his lower lip at the feeling, a sudden intensity hitting the both of you.
then he pushes himself inside, inch by inch, achingly slowly. your brows scrunch together and you throw your head back, manicured nails digging into his bedsheets.
“hah—gyu—” you mumble, tension setting into your shoulderblades as he stretches you open, and you’re so tight that he feels just as suffocated as you do.
“fuck, you’re fucking tight.” he huffs out, utterly savoring your wetness wrapping around him. “can i keep going?”
at hearing the question, a breathy laugh escapes you. “how fucking big are you to have to ask that?”
“well, ‘m only halfway in right now, baby.”
fucking hell. the look on your face is borderline horrified, because jesus, you’re gonna need to adjust to him.
he lowers his chest to hover above yours, and your hands immediately move to his back, nails aching to dig into his skin. he’s only focused on your face now, and he pushes himself in all the way, watching your face contort in pain and pleasure.
your body stiffens for a second before it relaxes, and he has to hold down the urge to start moving. “that’s it. took me all the way in,” he mutters, and you nod to yourself, accidentally clamping down on him, at which he groans.
the first movements are small, slow — gentle. you release long, dragged-out moans that are the single hottest thing he’s ever heard. but he needs more, needs to get rid of the little voice in his head to fuck you hard and stupid.
he pulls out almost entirely before slamming back in, and the erotic whine you let out is just too good to his ears.
so he does it again, again, again. he fucks you to the point a different part of him takes over, ruthlessly seeking the pleasure and pain that gets him off like nothing else. he likes it fast, hard, and deep, and by the looks of it, you do too.
you’re clinging onto him with every thrust, every kiss, every moan, and he loves it.
mingyu moans, eyebrows knitted together as he’s hypnotized by the feeling of himself sheathed all the way inside you. “take it — take my fucking cock.”
“mhm. a little harder — please?” you beg, and if he wasn’t in love with you yet, he certainly is now. how on earth do you look as gorgeous as you do whilst half fucked-out, still needing more?
naturally, he gives in to you, doing whatever you ask of him. he fucks you harder, his grip on your waist tightening with each thrust.
you come to one conclusion — you don’t think anyone’s ever fucked you this good.
his mouth latches onto your tits, sucking at your nipples, and you bring his head up to kiss him again. it’s sloppy, and his movements begin to slow a little, your wetness dripping down his cock. “god, you’re fucking perfect.”
“want more, gyu. i want you to cum in me.”
“you—” he stutters out, “you want it?”
nodding at him, you even push yourself against him, his cock sinking just a little deeper into you.
so he fucks you as hard as he can until he feels himself hitting that blissful climax, continuing to roll his hips and stuff you as full of him as possible. then he sits up with a thin layer of cold sweat on his back, and he pulls himself out as slowly as he entered you, watching drops of cum seep out of your hole.
“so much for professional.” you breathe out, after which you both chuckle, and he leans in to kiss you again, and you get on top of him, taking charge, and he shivers in anticipation.
the night becomes an increasing blur with every kiss, every touch, every thrust — it’s hard to say what time it is or how many times you’ve gone at it when you finally let yourself sink into a deep sleep.
when you wake up beside him in the morning, you watch his sleeping form, your heart flutters.
it’s bizarre how he’s made you feel a kind of love you didn’t even know existed before. a feeling of great complexity and intensity that’s settled deep into your gut whenever he’s near.
as if he’s become a part of you that you can’t let go.
checking your phone, you know it’s time to get up, since you’ve got an important agenda today. yet when you try to silently slip away from his bed, you feel a warm hand on yours.
“don’t go.” he pleads, his voice lower and raspier than usual from sleeping. there’s a certain desperation in his now open eyes, and it affects you.
“i have to. appointments i can’t cancel, you know what that’s like—”
but he’s not talking about your day.
“i’m afraid of people leaving me,” he suddenly admits with a shaky tone, “and i like what we have. i like you. i guess i’m scared that… this was just a one-time thing, ‘cause it wasn’t for me. i don’t want to go back to what we were before all of this.”
processing his words, you nod, touching his cheek, reassuring him. “it wasn’t a one-time thing for me, either. you have me, i promise.”
“okay.” he gently smiles at you, his fingers caressing yours, and you lean in to press a kiss onto his lips, which he immediately reciprocates.
you give him a quick goodbye after putting your clothes on, and he’s left smiling to himself in bed while you walk out of his apartment with the same expression.
but you should know by now that all good things come to an end — one way or another.
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ix. WHO ARE YOU, REALLY?
the two weeks since your first time sleeping together have been nothing but excitingly ignorant bliss. in between his meetings and family commitments and your meetings regarding your father’s business relations, you’ve been meeting eachother in the middle at every opportunity, the investigation of your father’s death fading into the background bit by bit, getting lowered on your list of priorities.
none of your friends are aware of your relationship – since it’s a secret, and neither of you have really labelled it yet – as far as you know, anyway.
being with him is comfortable to you, and surprisingly enough, he’s the first person who’s made you feel like you could breathe properly after the chaos that your father’s death caused.
“do you really have to go out at this hour?”
“yeah, unfortunately.” he presses a kiss to your lips before pulling his shirt on while you’re still naked on his bed. “i’ll be back as soon as i can, but you don’t have to wait for me, okay? it’s probably gonna take a while.”
with a sigh, you nod, pouting a little. “okay. i’ll probably go take a shower and head home after.”
he kisses the top of your head this time, and it all feels awfully domestic.
but it’s a good feeling.
mingyu takes in the sight of your bare face and body covered in nothing but his sheets, and he feels like things were meant to be like this. like you two were always indirectly tied together, and now this is your reality.
“you’re allowed to stay as long as you want. i’ll call you later, baby, yeah?” he hums against your lips, and you nod, wanting nothing more than to pull his shirt off and drag him back into bed with you.
“mhm. you should go, or you’ll be late.”
he chuckles, his mouth grazing the top of your hand before he exits the room, slinging his bag over his shoulder and leaving you alone in his apartment.
after taking a short nap, you decide to get up and take a quick shower.
this might be the first time you’re completely on your own in his place — so you feel like checking out what he’s got lying around here.
it’s not because you don’t trust him, truly. you just like to snoop around a little, out of curiosity.
you peek into his drawers, his closet, his personal things, except for what he’s got kept under lock and key.
what intrigues you are the clear scratches on the floor by the cupboard. everything in his apartment is perfectly clean and clearly well taken care of, so this makes you raise a brow.
you figure the scratches were made by moving the cupboard to the side, so you do the same thing, trying to see if there’s a particular reason for it.
it’s hard to contain a scoff once you lay your eyes on what is apparently hiding behind it.
a safe hidden behind a cupboard. seriously? did he take inspiration from your father’s office or something? this is starting to get a bit weird.
the safe seems to require a code with six digits to be unlocked, and since the system and mechanics seem on the older side, you doubt it would send off any signals if someone tried out a wrong code.
biting your lip, you give in to your curiosity, and try out a few codes.
a popular choice for codes are always birthdays, often loved ones, and since mingyu is a complete softie in that regard, you figure it might be worth trying out.
you remember his father’s birthday from the tombstone at the graveyard where your father was buried as well. his mother celebrated her birthday last week, so that’s easy.
unfortunately, neither of the codes work.
fuck, what was his sister’s birthday again? you don’t remember. then an idea pops up in your head – she probably made a birthday post on social media at some point. you search the username and scan her profile, and within a minute, you’ve found it.
with your phone in hand, eyes going from the screen to the rotating dials, you enter the code, and the sound of a clicking lock causes your heartbeat to quicken.
it worked.
throwing your phone onto the bed, you open the safe, several items catching your eye.
there’s quite some things in there considering it’s such a small space. some stacks of money, a few vials with clear liquids in them, a gun, a passport with his photo but a different name – what the fuck is this? his backup plan to start a new life in case he needs it? that’s close to paranoid, especially for a guy who seemingly has no enemies.
behind the piles of dollar bills, you find a few old-fashioned cassette recorders stacked up, each of them numbered from one to ten.
as your curiosity gets the better of you once more, you take the recorders out of the safe and put them on the floor, where you sit down to listen to whatever’s on them.
you click the button at the back of the device, noise beginning to crack through the small speaker.
“i know recording myself confessing to something as grave as this could be my downfall, but… it’s something i need to get off my chest. i need to.” your hear him inhale sharply. “i’m setting a plan in motion that will lead to someone’s death. it’s not something i’m proud of, but he’s threatening my family. i don’t know what else to do.”
your eyes widen as you listen to the rest of the tape. he’s talking about killing your father, using a poison to take him out. once it’s finished, you look for the second tape with shaky fingers.
“getting it done shouldn’t be hard. the real issue is having an alibi, and if necessary, i need someone to put the blame on. the death of someone as important as him will draw attention, so should they assume he didn’t die of natural causes, they’re gonna want to convict someone. i can only think of one person who fits the criteria — his daughter.”
it’s like the confirmation you’ve been waiting for. this is what he’s been hiding all this time. of course he didn’t want to help you without an ulterior motive.
your heart breaks the moment he says it. just how much of a fool have you been?
“we’ve always hated eachother. looking back, i’m not sure how it started, but it did. she’s the only one who could have a solid motive. i don’t want to frame her, or anyone for that matter, but if the police decide it’s not an accident, i’ll have no other choice. maybe her lawyer can find a way around it.”
tape three.
“the plan is to pretend i have a lead on the killer when i’m actually planting fake evidence to make her seem like the culprit. i talked to her in the graveyard today, but she completely lashed out at me. it’s hard to tell who she hates more — me, her father, or herself. though i didn't know her hatred for me ran this deep, nor that she was this lonely. i kind of feel for her.”
tape four.
“she just agreed to be my date to the gala next week, though she's certainly not thrilled about it. understandably so, i guess. she's quite intimidating when she’s mad. maybe i should take notes, seeing how she always stands so firmly on business.”
tape five.
“i didn’t think she’d go as far as to go through my room. she’s more determined than i gave her credit for. god, i could barely keep it together when she said whoever killed her father did her a favor. it’s maybe the only good thing about this whole mess. i wanted to scream, tell her that it was me who did her that favor.”
tape six.
“leave it to her to interrupt a stripper’s lap dance and take me with her instead. the man taking money out of her father’s account was hired by me — i needed to subtly prove to her that it couldn’t have been me, ‘cause i was at the other side of the city when it happened. i was curious to see if she’d take the bait, and she did. she mentioned something about wanting someone who would let her be… uninhibited. it scared and surprised me; mostly because i want the exact same.”
tape seven.
“we broke into her father’s office together. it was… thrilling. exciting. she keeps surprising me with how daring she is. somewhere underneath that hard surface hides someone who’s aching for adventure, i think. maybe we’re more similar than i thought. and she’s so clever, i just—i like her. like, platonically, of course. we work well together. i should probably be more careful, try not to get too close. who knows what that might lead to.”
tape eight.
“i kissed her. i fucking kissed her. well, she kissed me first, but… i kept it going. not just a little peck, no, a full-on makeout session. it was… the type of kiss they talk about in the romance novels. i’ve never felt that big of a need to kiss someone before. and she’s so gorgeous, too. i wonder if she’s thinking about it as much as i am right now.”
tape nine.
“wonwoo says i have feelings for her, in a way. i… i feel like there’s no going back if i acknowledge it. but there's something about her, it's like... i'm not sure. like she and i are on the same wavelength. we’re so different yet so similar.”
tape ten.
“the police are tightening their grip. they wanna name the culprit, and fast. i’ve thought of turning myself in, but i’ll ruin the family name if i do that. my mom and sister will be cast out if that happens. and then there’s… her. god, she’s become so special to me. i can’t go through with it — i can’t. the idea of losing her makes me feel suffocated. fuck, i don’t know what to do.”
and just like that, you close your eyes for a moment.
everything falls into place.
putting the final tape to the side, your cheeks are wet from the tears that have been silently rolling down your cheeks ever since you hit the first play button.
he doesn’t really like you — of course he doesn’t. he’s just using you for his own gain, to cover up his crime.
it’s then that the heavy sobs come out. you utterly fall apart, feeling weak and manipulated and alone.
terrifyingly alone, more than ever before.
but you force yourself to stop crying by telling yourself that you won’t allow him to use you anymore. you need to be steps ahead of him now that he’s not aware of you knowing this information, so you wipe your tears away and play all the tapes again, but this time with your phone making recordings of each one of them.
overcome by your emotions, you feel ready to throw up.
whatever you’re about to do, it’ll probably come back to bite you in the ass later, but you don’t care. not anymore. everything’s already gone to hell anyways.
when mingyu arrives at his apartment a few hours later, it’s empty. he frowns when noticing that your clothes and things you had lying around are all gone, but shrugs it off, believing you probably had a good reason for taking them back home.
but when he calls you the next day, you don’t pick up. you don’t answer any of his texts. your staff by the gate tells him that no visitors are allowed into the driveway, meaning he can’t even get to your front door anymore.
something’s happened. he just doesn’t know what.
long after he’s had his dinner, the rain comes pouring down from the dark clouds in the sky, thunder rumbling in the distance as you make your way to the front door of mingyu’s apartment.
he instantly notices something is very wrong once he lays eyes on you. you look like you’ve just gone through hell and back.
you let yourself in before he can say anything, so he closes the door behind you, confusion painted across his face. “i’ve been calling you — what’s going on? did something happen?”
oh, the question immediately pisses you off even more than you already are. this is about to be fun. “well, you’d know.” you grumble.
“know what?”
“that you killed my fucking father.”
the words strike like lightning. you finding out about the truth certainly wasn’t part of the plan, and since you seem so convinced, he doesn’t have much faith in trying to convince you of his innocence.
when his surprised expression fades, you finally see the truth written all over his face. his jaw is clenched tight, lips pressed together into a thin line, and he suddenly looks very guilty. “how… how did you find out?”
“the tapes. who the fuck records their own confession to murder? were you trying to get me to find out?” you rhetorically ask, eyes blazing fire.
mingyu huffs to himself. he knew he shouldn’t have kept those tapes — fuck.
“look, i—” he swallows, attempting to mend the situation, but you don’t let him speak.
“no. you’re going to tell me exactly what you did and why you did it. you owe me that much.”
he flinches, closing his eyes for a moment, lowering his head, his way of showing he accepts his defeat. “your dad… i always thought he wanted me around because he liked me, but after all those years, that turned out to be a lie. i found out he was blackmailing my mom with evidence of my father’s wrongdoings before his passing — fraud, embezzlement, all of that. we’re talking millions of dollars here. the damage it would’ve done to my family if that ever came out… it’s something i had to prevent. hell, i wouldn’t be surprised if he was the one behind my dad’s car accident. so i did what i thought was necessary.”
you can only scoff. “of course. how noble of you.”
“i’m sorry.” he tells you, but it’s a lie. your father was a despicable man, loved by no one. not really, anyway.
“if you’re going to lie to me, at least do it well.” you scold him, turning away from him for a moment, looking at the rain outside through the large windows of his apartment. “how did you kill him? i wanna hear you say it.”
“can’t we talk about—”
interrupting him, you turn around, the pistol from his safe in your hand, and it’s pointed at him. he anxiously awaits your next move.
“don’t make me ask again. i don’t particularly feel like repeating myself.”
he shudders at the view of the gun pointed at him, but does what you tell him to. “i poisoned him. he had no idea, didn’t suspect me at all. i told him to go home, so he’d die there.”
“where i would be, too. perfect plan, huh?”
“the plan was to make it look like a death from natural causes. the poison would be out of his system by the time the authorities were to perform the autopsy on his body — but then they found him dangling from the ceiling instead. that wasn’t my doing, so i figured the poison got to him to the point he wanted a quicker way out. you were there, with a reasonable motive. i panicked and made a choice.”
inhaling sharply, your eye twitches. “you chose to frame me.”
“i was going to.”
“oh, give me a break. don’t start acting like you care about me, now.”
“except i do. it was different in the beginning — but then i just—i didn’t remember why i hated you. i couldn’t even fathom a possible reason to. i started liking being around you, and you felt it too. i know you did, you said it yourself.” he pleads, getting closer to you, not giving a damn that the barrel of the gun is touching his chest at this point.
a tear escapes your eye, but your anger is still there. “you know what the thing is, mingyu? i don’t even care that you killed him. hell, if you had come to me after our interrogations and confessed that it was you, i would’ve thanked you. what i care about is that you took advantage of me when i was vulnerable, and that you made me feel like i mattered to you when you were all just doing it for your own gain.”
it’s like you’ve ripped his heart out of his chest. he wishes he could make you understand that you’ve made him feel more alive than anyone he’s ever met, that you’ve grown to mean so much to him in a ridiculously short span of time. that he’d go to hell and back to protect you now.
“you matter to me. more than anyone else.”
all you can do is let out a sarcastic fit of laughter; you don’t trust a single word that comes out of his mouth. “i need you to tell me something. did you sleep with me because you actually wanted to or because you felt like you had to in order to manipulate me to get closer to you?”
he seems appalled at what you’re implying. “of course i wanted to. all i ended up wanting was you—”
“don’t you fucking lie to me!” you burst out angrily, at which he flinches, but his frustration brings him to confess his true feelings.
“it’s not a lie, because i’m in love with you!” he raises his voice in desperation, “i don’t care if you shoot me right here, right now. it won’t change how i feel about you.”
your heart shatters even more, because he sounds so genuine, yet it doesn’t make you feel the way it should.
the words should probably bring some kind of twisted comfort, but they feel like a gut punch instead. you grab your chest to stop yourself from hyperventilating. “at least i was right at the beginning. the golden boy is a fucking murderer. you’ve played your part well, i gotta admit.”
he watches you breathily laugh and cry at him, and all he can do is stare back at you with teary eyes and a guilty face.
“please don’t say that.”
“why? does it hurt, hearing the truth?”
“i swear to you—”
you shut him up by pushing him backwards with the pistol against his chest. “you know, when you bothered me after the funeral, when i had my breakdown, i wanted nothing more than to cave in your skull with a rock. looking back, i should’ve just done it. would’ve spared me this whole mess.”
surprisingly enough, you simply put the pistol back in your jacket pocket, but mingyu is just as if not more afraid of you. your gaze is the harshest, coldest, meanest he’s ever seen it. all you do is look at him and he crumbles.
and yet he still wants you. he knows you hate him to the bone, you detest every part of him, and he still. wants. you.
and he intends to show you that, because he’s willing to throw every last shred of pride and dignity he has let out the window if it means you’ll show him you want him even the smallest bit. “i’ll prove it to you. if you ask me to turn myself in, i’ll turn myself in. i’ll do it, for you.”
god, he seems so genuine in it, too.
your breaths are ragged, and you feel like you need to get literally anywhere else, out of the suffocation that is this room with him in it. you barely even noticed he’d taken a hold of your hand until now.
“i can’t do this. just—just let me leave.”
he does.
the moment the door slams shut behind you, he has to grab the nearest object to hold himself up, leaving him wondering what the hell just happened.
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x. WHEN IS A MONSTER NOT A MONSTER?
the following days are spent anxiously pacing in his apartment. what is he supposed to do? what should he say to you? what should he tell the press, that he’s innocent? guilty? what should he tell his family? that he killed a man to protect them and their reputation? would they even look him in the eye if he confessed?
he waits and waits and waits for his arrest to come, for the police to barge into his home and take him away to a cold, dark prison cell — yet the day never comes.
personally, he wonders if you’re waiting it out to make you feel as shitty as you’ve probably been feeling since the day you discovered his true colors.
nearly a week after the fight between you, he decides he can’t take it anymore. he needs to see you.
you doubt you’ve ever felt as miserable as you’ve felt these past days. it’s like you’re torn between hating mingyu for taking advantage of you and hating yourself for being stupid enough to fall for it. to fall for him.
because no matter how much you want to deny it, you did.
something you desperately needed was a distraction, which is why you ended up accepting wonwoo’s invitation to the event his father is hosting tonight at his estate just outside the city. with your little black dress on and hair perfectly styled, you down a glass of champagne next to wonwoo, who looks a bit concerned. “everything okay?”
the noise of chatter and soft music in the background only overwhelms you more. “yeah. i just… haven’t had alcohol in a while.” you mutter a bullshit excuse, not really caring whether you sound believable or not.
“i get it if you don’t feel like being here right now, with everything that happened recently. i can take you home if you want.”
“and miss out on your father’s celebration?”
“there will always be another one.” wonwoo shrugs, looking at you like nothing else in the room matters. he has a little smile playing on his lips that’s far too gentle — you almost feel undeserving of a gaze that loving.
but you don’t hold eye contact with him for long, because the source of all your current problems suddenly walks into the room — and he looks good. criminally good.
the red suit with its low neckline draws even more attention to him than usual, along with several expensive pieces of jewelry adorning his wrists and fingers.
“he’s here? that’s strange. he said he wasn’t coming.” wonwoo mumbles, and you do your best to keep your composure and hide the sudden anxiety that blooms in your chest.
“shame. the party was just getting good.” you scoff to yourself, replacing your empty champagne glass with a full one.
it’s then that mingyu’s eyes find yours, and even while politely saying hello to the elders greeting him, he keeps sneaking a peek your way, as if to try to get away from the people surrounding him to get to you.
oh, fuck no. you’re not in the mood to talk to him right now.
“i’m just gonna go and use the restroom, okay? i’ll be right back.” you say to wonwoo, hoping to find yourself a spot in the shadows where you can properly get some air.
you hardly catch his response as your legs are already moving on their own, as far away from the man in red as possible.
passing through a quiet hallway, you find yourself finally alone at the bottom of a staircase, and with no one else around, you sit down on the first few steps, a sigh escaping your mouth.
“did my appearance surprise you?”
as you recognize his voice, your blood runs cold.
looking behind you, he’s standing at the top of the stairs, his hands in his pockets. he appears surprisingly relaxed, even if his fingers slightly tremble against the fabric of his trousers.
“you have some nerve showing up here.”
mingyu purses his lips. “why don’t you come up a couple steps?”
when you finally meet his gaze, his heart skips a beat. your brows are knitted together. “why would i do that?”
“because we’d be on the same level. equals.”
“is that what you want?”
“i think you already know the answer to that.”
biting your lip to yourself, you get up on your feet, heels clicking on the creaking wood with each step. once at his level, you look at him with hostility – he only shows intrigue.
“why haven’t you given me up yet? it’s been a week.”
“i have my reasons.” you shrug, the anger remaining in your features. “what? scared i’ll ruin your reputation?”
his tone suddenly changes into something more desperate, emotional. “i just want to know what you’re gonna do. if you wanna turn me over to the police, fine. but do something, please—”
“you’re not in a position to be making demands.”
“i’m not demanding, i’m asking.”
“go fuck yourself, mingyu.” you snap at him, looking around you before lowering your voice. “what did you think was going to happen when you came here tonight? that i would just let you in on everything? the last thing i owe you is an explanation.”
as the tension continues to rise between you, the argument causes you to step closer to eachother.
his chest heaves out of frustration, because you make a more than valid point, but he still has his own interests at heart. “i know that.”
“so then why show up tonight? don’t bullshit me, i know you’re not here for wonwoo.”
“are you? what are you doing here?”
“what the hell is your problem?” scoffing at him, you intend to push him by his chest, but he grabs your wrists instead.
“you are my problem.” he breathes out angrily as if he were confessing his sins, his hands remaining on your skin. “everything fell apart because of you.”
“if you’re actually trying to pin this on me, i’ll hit you in your fucking jaw until it bleeds.”
he only pulls you closer. “and i’d let you. do you still not get it?”
his grip on your wrists falters, and he softly rubs over your skin with his finger, and you hate your body for reacting to it.
christ, you think to yourself, has he been standing this close to you this whole time?
the smell of his perfume plagues your senses, and a feeling you can’t quite place washes over you when you catch him looking at your lips, and you realize his one hand is slowly gliding past your waist.
are you really going to let yourself fall into his trap again?
“everything okay?”
the words aren’t uttered by you nor mingyu — wonwoo peers up at you from your former spot at the bottom of the stairs.
of course he’s been sensing that there was something going on between you the moment you showed up at the strip club, but this clearly confuses him, since you’re still supposed to hate one another.
fuck. how much of the conversation did he hear?
mingyu hesitantly releases his hands from your body, and you take a step backwards, both of you focusing on wonwoo. “yeah, i’m fine.”
as if to make the situation even worse, the fucking inspector that’s leading the investigation appears behind wonwoo, curiously looking at his two main suspects standing side by side.
the situation feels suffocating. wonwoo points at the older man, “he was looking for you. that’s why i came to see if you were here — i didn’t know you were, um — occupied.”
“i’m not occupied.” with the way you completely disregard mingyu’s existence, it’s almost as if he weren’t even here. you make your way down the steps, smoothening over the fabric of your dress and taking a deep breath to get a hold of yourself again.
the inspector glances at mingyu one last time before asking you if he can talk to you privately, which you agree to.
mere minutes later, you’re standing in a secluded room, far away from the rest of the crowd, arms crossed over your chest, a dim light flickering on the ceiling above you.
“i wanted to talk about the investigation.”
“talking to me off-record again? this isn’t a good look on you.” you sneer at the man, who puts up his hands before his chest.
“i know. but it’s for a good reason.” he defends himself, at which you frown. “i have a proposition for you.”
“which is?”
“i need your help catching the person who killed your father.”
pursing your lips together, you let out a bitter chuckle. “like i would know anything—”
“you were just speaking to him, actually.”
the weight of his words makes your eyes widen. this is the first time he’s expressing who he believes is the culprit, after all these weeks.
your breath hitches in your throat. “you think mingyu is guilty.”
the inspector nods at the conclusion you’ve drawn. “he’s smart, i’ll give him that. but not invincible.”
“what will you do? do you have evidence against him?”
“i have enough that makes me sure that it was him, but not enough to defeat him in court. he’s rich and uses that to his advantage.” he explains, sounding almost hopeful. “so that’s where you come in.”
“me?”
“what i need is evidence that even he can’t work around, no matter how many people in the system he chooses to bribe. you told me the nature of your relationship was sexual — i don’t need to know if that’s true or not. but i’ve noticed he seems fond of you these days. you can use that to get him caught. we can’t let him get away with it.”
his voice rings through your ears, sounding like a convincing whisper. biting down on your tongue, you clench your fists, the predicament you currently find yourself in making you wish the ground would just swallow you whole.
you subtly glance down at your phone for a moment.
the evidence is right there, on the phone in your hand. you’ve recorded all the tapes with your phone — the confession, murder weapon — it’s all the evidence needed. you could give it right now and everything would be over.
yet not a single word comes out of your mouth.
the inspector sighs, offering you a final sentiment. “be careful with him. people can be deceiving.”
and with that, he exits the room, leaving you alone with the voice in your head.
your next moves are crucial. you know what you’re about to do is risky, but it’ll be worth it. it has to be worth it.
once you’ve left the inside of the estate through the backdoor, the event continues for the evening while you ponder over the choice you’re about to make in the backseat of the cab.
shrugging off your coat as you enter your home, you still in your movements when your eyes find the stairs — the spot where the police had to cut down your father’s cold, dead body.
with your gaze remaining on the former crime scene, you press on mingyu’s number to call it.
he picks up faster than lightning, but you don’t allow him to speak.
“meet me in the city tomorrow. 10:30, outside your mother’s firm. don’t be late.”
you hang up right after.
fuck, you should really sell this place. the fact that your father’s wandered around here is more than enough reason.
that he died here as well isn’t great either, but that’s really a minor detail.
with your arms crossed, you scoff, a half-smile that’s almost smug sitting on your face. “if only your death had welcomed us sooner.”
the next morning, you lean your head against the wall of the building you’re meeting at, a cold wind blowing through your hair as you’re sunken deeply into thought.
it’s comfortably quiet, honestly. you’re fond of this type of weather, the white, grey-ish sky, the breeze in the air, some rain on occasion.
you glance at the watch on your wrist — why the fuck is mingyu still not here? what possible reason could he have to be late when this is what he was practically begging for?
just as you’re about to grab your phone from your pocket to call him, someone pulls you by your arm and drags you into the alley beside the building.
“what the fuck!?” you huff out, and then you finally get a good look at the person who grabbed you.
of course it’s him.
“i’m sorry.” mingyu breathes out, his usually neatly styled hair now messy, several strands hanging loose in front of his forehead, the stress visible in his features.
to be together like this feels messy yet weirdly intimate. a few strands of your hair are caught between your lips, and you feel his breath on your face, his hands on your body, even your hands find their way back to him.
as if it’s natural.
“what the hell are you thinking?!” you hiss at him, pushing his hands off you, backing yourself as far up against the wall as possible.
“someone was following me, i was — i thought you’d lured me here to turn me in.”
“you—” is all you can push out of your throat before a sigh leaves you. of course he’d think that. god, what a mess.
burying your face in your hands, it feels like you’re both on the verge of a complete breakdown. both lost, not sure where to go, not sure what’ll happen next.
you thought you’d found a sense of direction in eachother, but that fell apart like a house of cards hit by the wind.
naturally, it begins to rain right when you’re talking to him outside. sighing to yourself, you gesture for him to come with you to your car in the half-empty parking lot, which he wordlessly agrees with.
it’s pouring by the time you’re both seated, the heavy rain rolling down the glass windows of the car.
it’s completely silent between you as you sit beside one another, staring dead ahead at the street.
your voice is hoarse when you tell him your verdict on the matter.
“we’re gonna cover it up.”
mingyu turns his head to look at you in disbelief, but you don’t move a muscle. “… what?”
“i believe i’ve told you i don’t like to repeat myself.”
“no one in their right mind would do that. no one would help me cover it up.” he exhales, eyes moving rapidly as he tries to process what you’re proposing to him.
“no one in their right mind would commit murder, either, but that certainly didn’t stop you.”
well, you have a point there.
“just tell me one thing,” mingyu asks, hoping you’ll look at him, “why? why do this for me?”
he could cry the moment you do meet his eyes. it’s like he sees a different version of himself staring back at him. “because you did the right thing. i would’ve done the same. well, except for your little affair with me.”
with his heart beating against his chest, he gently touches your hand. “everything i told you was true. it may not have been real in the beginning, and i’m sorry for pretending back then, but it’s real now. i swear that to you.”
you bite your lip. “give me one good reason why i should believe you.”
mingyu can taste his tears at this point. he needs you to believe him, he needs you — and that is terrifying but addictive. “the tapes. you can have them if you want.”
“i don’t need them. they hold no value to me.” you already made copies of them anyway.
“then what can i give you to prove myself?”
“nothing.” you immediately cut him off, eyes blazing fire, but even mingyu can see you do share that sadness that he does, mourning the loss of your connection. “from now on, we avoid contact over the phone as much as possible. you’ll destroy the tapes, the poison — get rid of all of it. we’ll work together until we’ve covered it up, and after that, it’ll be like whatever we had never existed. we’ll be nothing more than strangers to one another.”
“how on earth would we go back to strangers after what we did?”
“by never talking to eachother again.” you respond, swallowing the rising lump in your throat, fingers twitching from feeling suffocated. “get out. you can come over to my place tomorrow, and we’ll… figure out how to handle everything.”
mingyu looks at you, and he knows you won’t let him in again, certainly not now. so he nods.
he thinks of what to say, yet nothing comes out.
so he leaves you in your car without saying another word, walking away with nothing but his mistakes on his mind.
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xi. I HATE YOU LIKE MY OWN REFLECTION
“so, what do we do now?”
“our best shot is to try to frame someone else, then take them out of prison after the conviction and pay ‘em good money for it.”
mingyu cocks a brow at your choice. “so you wanna go and do the exact same thing i wanted to do?”
you can’t help but glare at him. “yes, just without the manipulation. don’t think for a second i’ve forgiven you, or that i will in the nearby future, because i can assure you that won’t happen.”
well, so much for trying to get into your good graces again. “noted. so, how do we, um… find a suitable victim? someone who won’t rat us out.”
“my contact in the police force has sent me a list of all the other suspects. we pick someone, threaten to kill them if they don’t cooperate. easy.”
mingyu finds your lack of filter both intriguing and scary, like a switch was flipped and you’re suddenly ready to undertake even more violent measures than him. but then again, he was hiding quite some things too. “okay.”
it’s two days later when you’re holding a now former member of the housekeeping hostage in your spacious private parking garage.
“you can’t make me do this! this is insane!” he cries out, and you roll your eyes, holding the gun in your hand as easily as you’d carry a bottle of water.
you simply shrug. “it’s not impossible.”
“i’ll lose everything!”
“probably. but you’ll also gain a lot of money, enough to get you a comfortable life elsewhere in the world.”
“no, no, i’m not doing this. you can’t make me!”
mingyu looks to you for permission, you grant it with a nod, and he takes your gun to hit the guy in the face with it. you sink down to bend your knees, lowering to your victim’s level.
“i don’t think you get it. either you agree to do this, or you’re not making it out of these walls alive. trust me, if i have to shoot you, i will.” you sternly tell him, attitude changing from casual to threatening.
your partner in crime, who’s still holding the gun, is beyond impressed. he briefly thinks it over —has this part of you always been hiding underneath the surface?
“or maybe it’s your family i should start with? i’ll pick it apart, one by one.” you suggest, feigning innocence in your voice.
it’s then that the man is finally forced to accept your offer, after which you smile triumphantly and tell him he can go home like nothing happened. mingyu watches the change in your behavior, leaving him wondering how the hell you’re the same person he’s come to know over the past months.
but it hardly changes his now deeply-rooted affection for you.
a few days later, you’ve successfully orchestrated your plan and set it in motion, with the man from housekeeping supposedly coming forward with his confession tomorrow.
it’s late at night when mingyu’s still over at your house, and he asks if he can open the bottle of vodka standing on the counter.
“sure. whatever.” you mutter, the stand-offish demeanor you used to hold up around him before getting to know him having returned.
he doesn’t like it. no, scratch that — he can’t stand it.
so he pours you both a shot. “i’ve been thinking about something.”
“well, that must’ve been exhausting for you.”
hilarious. really. he chooses to ignore your sarcasm for now. “in the car, you said i did the right thing. that you would’ve done the same.”
“and?”
“do you really not… hate me for killing him? at all?”
“no.”
“you hate me for… lying to you about it.”
“no.”
his brows knit together. “so…”
“again, don’t take this as a compliment, but i really thought you were smarter than this.”
“i’m just… confused on your stance on the whole thing. that’s all.”
taking a breath, a bitter chuckle leaves your mouth. “i hate it when people make fun of me, like — that’s the worst thing you could do to me. and you tried to get to know me, work with me, pretended to care for me, all while secretly knowing that it wasn’t genuine and you were going to put me in prison. and after i found out, it felt like you were just ridiculing me, for… i don’t know. giving in to you so easily. for being desperate to have at least one person actually care about me the way i thought you did.”
he processes your words with the heavy burden of guilt weighing on his shoulders, while you take another shot of alcohol.
well, he fucked up. miserably.
“when i created the plan to frame you, i… almost held a grudge towards you, like you did to me, for a reason i couldn’t even think of. i was going to be putting someone i hated in prison. a sacrifice i was willing to make for the people i loved. but you completely blew me away. as time progressed, i… couldn’t fathom i used to hate you, or even disliked you. even if you don’t accept my apology, i need you to know that i never… never made fun of you. and i’m sorry for hurting you in the way that i did.”
his heartfelt sentiment gets to you, and you hate it.
“even if i did accept your apology, what then? we’ll just move on with our lives as if this whole thing never happened either way.”
now that you’ve unintentionally given him a sense of hope, he downs another shot of vodka to give himself courage. “it doesn’t have to be like that.”
“what?”
“i still want you.” he breathes out, mentally saying fuck it and deciding to finally be completely honest with you.
the words seem to have caught you off-guard, after which you scoff at him once you realize what he’s saying. “you’re not serious.”
“i am,” he replies without hesitation, following you in your tracks when you stand up, “and you know what i think? you still like me, too.”
“no i don’t.”
now that you’ve turned around to him, you realize how stupid of a move it was to do so. with every step he takes forward, you go back, but there’s only so much room before you hit the wall. “you’re not being very convincing.”
“gyu—”
“i like it when you call me that.”
at a loss for words, you look behind you to find you’re nearly out of space. “i don’t like you.”
“and here i thought we were both being honest with eachother.”
god, all he does is look at you and you feel willing to let him touch you again. he made you feel so good — you liked him so much.
mingyu feels it. he sees you fighting with yourself in your head, so he figures all you need is just a little push to get you back where he had you, to be able to kiss you and hold you and call you his.
with his left hand, he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, and within a second, he’s pushed his mouth against yours.
fuck, it’s been only two long weeks since he last kissed you, but it felt like forever. this feeling, his touch — you doubt you’d ever be able to feel that with anyone else.
but something in you is still fighting back.
you muster the will to push mingyu away, and he licks his lips from the gloss on yours. both of you panting heavily, you shake your head. “no. we’re not doing this.”
“what? something we both want?” he breathes out, chest heaving up and down.
“something we shouldn’t.”
“why not?”
“because i’d never forgive myself for giving in to the guy who was gonna frame me for murder.”
he merely shrugs, downplaying the situation for his selfish interests. “we hated each other back then. you’d have done it too, you said it yourself.”
his words are true — but it still hurts.
“you’re a liar.” you say to him, and he knows you’re only saying it for one reason — to convince yourself to not give in to what you really want.
“yeah. and so are you.”
that is what momentarily causes your brain to shut down. “what?”
his hand cups your jaw. you can feel his breath on your bare skin, his gaze on your body, shamelessly checking you out before he meets your eyes again. “what we had was real. you make everyone else in my life seem like… nothing.”
“oh, so i’m special, huh? or are you just trying to get back into my good graces so i don’t rat you out?”
his eyes keep lingering on the skin of your cheeks, your neck, exposed collarbones, and he doesn’t even look you in the eye while answering. “you can do whatever you want. i’ll still want you once i’ve gotten out of prison.”
god. he’s really that into you?
“gyu…” you mutter, almost pouting, and he holds your face, nodding as if he understands.
“i know, i know—” his breathing is unsteady as he confesses every dirty little sin on his conscience, “i like being a little selfish, y’know? even when one of my friends mentioned something about liking you, i didn’t tell you, ‘cause i wanted you.”
you’ve got a feeling who he’s talking about. “so what’d you say to him?”
“i said you had something going on with someone else, which wasn’t exactly a lie, since you were on top of me that same night.” he barely allows himself to finish the sentence before kissing you again, putting all his vigor into it, and you decide to indulge both him and yourself this once.
he pushes you up against the wall, and you shove him away again, holding onto the cupboard beside you when you both catch your breath.
“what if i like him better than you?”
“you wouldn’t.”
“why? ‘cause you’re so likeable?”
“because he’d never accept you for who you really are, and you’d find him boring,” he tells you as a possessive streak overcomes him, “just like no other girl would ever want me and i only want you.”
“so i should let you have me because no one else will. what a compelling argument.”
“no. because you want me.” fucking hell, he’s pretty sure his sex drive has never been this high before. “so have me, baby. please — i’m all yours.” he rasps, pressing a kiss so chaste to your lips, they barely touch. his hands burn on your skin.
“maybe i will.” you mumble, which elicits the smallest smirk from him.
he rubs up against you. “you make me insane.”
“pretty sure you already were.” is the last thing you say before kissing him, finally giving in to the feelings you still hold for him.
the sudden motion takes him by surprise, but he regains his composure to kiss you back within seconds. you make him feel so sickeningly good, he practically worships the ground you walk on.
mingyu is always tactile, be it with his friends, family, or in this case — you. his hands are practically glued to your body, pulling you as close to him as possible.
and normally he likes to take his time when it comes to sex. but he’s just so hot right now that he needs some kind of friction, some kind of release. so he lifts you up to take you to your bedroom, where he wastes no time to plunge his fingers into you.
“fuck—gyu—”
this is all he wants. to hear you moan his name like that and watch you writhe underneath him while his cock throbs as he rubs it against the bed.
“you look so pretty like this.” he grins, curling his fingers to watch you squirm and feel you clench around him.
jesus, his pace is high. higher than any other time he’s done this before. the pressure in your stomach builds so fast that you’re almost overwhelmed by the feeling, at which you instinctively reach down to hold his wrist, but to no avail, because he keeps going.
“say you like me back and i’ll make you cum.”
even through the pleasure he’s giving you, you manage to pull your mean attitude back up. “are you that desperate?”
not only does he seem completely unaffected by the snark in your voice — he might even like it.
“so what if i am?” he shrugs, his fingers moving in and out of you while he kisses and sucks on the skin of your neck.
when he moves onto your jaw, he suddenly hits the right spot inside you, and your eyes roll back, a dragged-out moan escaping you.
“bet that feels good, hm?” he whispers, his fangs showing when he smiles slyly, “c’mon — say it. i’ll make you feel so good, baby.”
right after the words come out of his mouth, he threatens to take his fingers out, and you grab his wrist once more, this time to keep him as close as possible.
“fine — i like you.”
like a war general who just won his greatest battle, he’s beaming at your confession. “good. put your legs over my shoulders.”
well, he certainly is determined. he’s back in his previous position in no-time, now with your legs up, and you try to not clench your thighs around his head too much as his digits piston in and out of your hole.
your orgasm hits you within what feels like a minute, and mingyu keeps going even when your legs are shaking and trembling on his shoulders.
the drag of his cock inside you is heavenly. he’s a big man, and you always need to adjust yourself to him, but fuck is it good.
you always like the slower strokes best, he’s learned. slow and deep, to make you feel every inch of him, and he can bury himself in you to the hilt every single time.
“god, you’re always so tight.” he has to suck through gritted teeth to not completely lose it, ‘cause you’re clenching down on him so much that it almost hurts.
“that’s ‘cause you don’t fuck me enough.”
“we should fix that, then.” he responds, sliding his cock in and out of the pooling wetness between your legs, and as the minutes go by, you continue to find yourself in his arms, your body plastered on his.
it’s the ringing of your phone from the nightstand that pulls you out of the erotic haze.
mingyu turns his head to the side, the dark strands of hair hanging beside his head as he’s still hovering above you.
his chest still heaves when he picks up the device to show you the caller id. “you never did tell me what he wanted to talk to you about.”
all you can do is chuckle — a sound that comes across as if you know more than he does. “he’s onto you. thinks you’re guilty. not far from the truth, is he?”
throwing your phone to the other side of the bed, he pushes himself a little deeper into you, loving the way you have to bite your lip to suppress a whimper. “and he wanted you to give him evidence, i bet.”
“he did.”
“did you?”
“since you still have the freedom to fuck me — take a wild guess.”
this time it’s him who lets out an arrogant laugh. “i knew you liked me too much.”
“i could still do it, y’know.”
“oh, i know you could.” he bites his lower lip before kissing you so vigorously again — as if you’re the air he breathes.
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xii. ROUGH HEWN BY UNFORTUNATE EVENTS, AND GIVEN BREATH BY NECESSITY
with the noise of the fireplace crackling, you stand by the window of your mansion’s spacious living room, staring outside as you’re anxiously rubbing your fingers over your collarbone.
the man you and mingyu forced to act like he was guilty of murdering your father has supposedly confessed yesterday morning, and yet you’ve still heard nothing. which is strange.
extremely strange.
“they could still be interrogating him.” mingyu tries to ease both your and his own nerves, but you shake your head, your back still facing him.
“something’s wrong. if it were convincing enough, i would’ve heard something. fuck.”
he gets up from the soft couch to wrap his arms around you from behind. “we just gotta be a little more patient. the guy knows what’s at stake should he mess it up.”
letting out a sigh, you nod. “yeah, i guess you’re right.”
just when he’s pressed a kiss on the top of your head, the doorbell rings — whoever that may be.
mingyu remains in his spot by the window while you go ahead to check who’s visiting you. your breath is almost stolen completely from you once you see who it is.
“coming to visit me at this hour?”
the inspector gives you a fake smile in return. “it’s important.”
so you let him in, keeping up the nonchalance in your attitude. mingyu raises a brow at the older man walking into the room, and he crosses his arms over his chest.
“i had someone coming into the station yesterday — one of your father’s former staff. he confessed to the murder.” the inspector begins. “unfortunately for him, i said i’d already figured out who the culprit was, and so i sent him back home.”
“someone confessed and you didn’t think about telling us?” mingyu questions angrily, and you really have to force yourself not to show how impressed you are with his acting skills.
the other man in the room is less impressed. “why would i tell you something you’re already aware of? you orchestrated it.”
oh, shit.
as your eyes widen, it’s quiet for a moment.
“i really hope you have actual proof to back this accusation.” mingyu sneers, clearly hostile towards the man while you silently take a few steps back, slowly hiding yourself more in the shadows by the walls.
“traces of poison were found in the reports of the autopsy. it was disregarded at first because of the small amount, but i eventually began to consider it evidence when i discovered you recently purchased that exact formula from a dealer who’s been on our radar for a while.”
the hairs on your neck suddenly stand upright. is this it? is the person you’ve grown so attached to actually going to get arrested?
“thing is, if i were to arrest you, you’d probably be let go. i know you both have contacts in the police force as well as the justice system, i almost caught someone messing with the autopsy results — but despite that, i know the truth.” the man nods to himself. “and that is, mr. kim, that the only charge against you is attempted murder.”
mingyu seems confused. “attempted?”
“the poison didn’t kill him. you’re guilty of something, definitely, but you’re no murderer.” the inspector’s gaze suddenly shifts from your partner to you, a deep frown setting into your forehead. “the only player in this game that wasn’t making any sense to me was you.”
“me?”
“you know, in my many years in this line of work, i’ve found it a rarity to have a suspect possessing such an… inscrutible expectant stillness. the gears in your head are constantly turning, but no one’s really sure what it is that goes up in there. you’re an enigma.” he says to you, and you listen to him with a raised brow.
as you remain silent, he continues. “at the event a few weeks ago, when i spoke with you, i came to you and told you i suspected him to be the culprit — the man you’ve hated from day one. the opportunity to make him go away was practically given to you, yet you did nothing with it.”
scoffing at him in disbelief, you tilt your head. “that’s all you have against me? baseless speculation?”
“not exactly baseless. see, the autopsy report showed one more thing — he was choked before the hanging. your father was unconscious before you put that rope around his neck.”
it’s so quiet, you’re pretty sure the two men in the room are able to hear your heartbeat at this point.
mingyu turns to look at you with a puzzled expression, and you finally decide to drop the façade you’ve upheld for so long.
“oh, so what?” you shrug, finding the accusation bothersome at best.
the sudden change in demeanor catches mingyu completely off-guard. he can’t fully comprehend what’s going on here. “you—you killed him?”
you press your lips together. “whatever you used on him wasn’t enough to kill him, but it was enough to make him violent. he came home that night just—fucking losing it. stumbling over everything, his eyes were all red, and he yelled at me because he thought i was the one who poisoned him. ‘cause naturally, he’d never suspect you. my father was one to hit me on the cheek whenever he was really angry with me, but he’d never gone further than that. the poison must’ve worked him up so much that he lost rational thinking. so he began to accuse me of trying to kill him, after which he tried to choke me, but i managed to throw him off, and he passed out. and i figured it’d been enough of his torture, so… i hung him in the stairwell to make it seem like a suicide.���
the inspector nods knowingly. “you murdered him in cold blood.”
you’re quick to respond with your defense, though you don’t really care anymore. “did you not hear the part where he tried to kill me?”
mingyu looks like a kicked puppy when he processes your confession. “so you’ve been lying to me this whole time?”
the words elicit a scoff. “that’s real bold, coming from you.”
“but you—you agreed to help me figure out who your father’s killer was. why would you do that if you did it?”
“at first i didn’t, as you know, but you were just so fucking persistent. so i figured i could try to divert your attention from me. i was going to convince you that it was a suicide. then i hear the tapes, you admitting that you poisoned him, and everything made sense. but hey, at least i wasn’t trying to frame you.”
the jab directed at him makes him feel guilty again. “so we both did it.”
“in a way. though i’d argue it was somewhat self-defense. i mean, he came onto me, tried to kill me—”
“you made a mistake and you know it.” the inspector interrupts, making you roll your eyes as he scolds you. “you should’ve called the police. but you didn’t, you just decided to hang him instead!”
“he deserved it!” you retort, displaying the clear hatred you’ve always felt towards anyone who tried to defend the man who raised you. “i don’t care what you think. and you said it yourself — i have everyone in the justice system on my payroll, if necessary. threatening to kill a family member or two also works like a charm.”
it’s silent for a few seconds after you’ve revealed this side of your true nature, and the man just stares you in the eye before grabbing a device from his backpocket.
when he clicks on the button, you already know what it is.
he recorded the whole conversation, and you already know he can’t be bribed, so this is a real problem — because it’s the one piece of evidence needed that will destroy you both.
“you do realize how stupid it was to come here alone, right?” you ask rhetorically.
“what, will you kill me too?” he asks, and when both you and mingyu deadpan a stare at him, he knows the answer.
he’s not getting out of this room alive unless he forfeits the recording.
when you and your partner in crime exchange a glance, the inspector attempts to make a run for it, only to be tackled by mingyu once he’s reached the door.
one last sacrifice.
the sound of a blade piercing through skin makes you jump, your fingers twitching.
blood begins to trickle down his body, after which mingyu pulls out the knife and pushes it in once more, higher up in the chest this time.
“oh, jesus—fuck!” you gasp to yourself when you feel the bloodsplatters hitting your face and neck, and mingyu rips the blade from the inspector’s body, letting it fall onto the carpeted floor.
you both stare at the freshly created crime scene, and you pinch the bridge of your nose, mostly just annoyed at having another crime on your hands.
“well, that is unfortunate.” mingyu sighs, after which you press your lips together, looking up at him.
“understatement of the year. did you have to stab him that quick?”
“sweetheart, he would’ve locked us both away if i didn’t.”
“i guess so.” locking the front door to ensure no one can enter, you cross your arms. “so. are we burning, burying or dumping him in a lake?”
mingyu stares at the body on the floor before locking eyes with you, and it’s like making a silent deal — that you’re in this mess together, and only together can you come out of it, as bloody and violent that road may turn out to be.
well, at the end of the day, you suppose your father was right about one little thing.
you and kim mingyu are, indeed, good together. just not in the exact way he imagined.
after all, love can exist even in the murderous heart.
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thanks for reading! let me know if you enjoyed it x
® SANAKIRAS — do not repost, remake or copy my work in any way whatsoever. translations are not allowed.
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protect-namine · 7 months ago
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mitsuki's role in weekend lesson is so interesting, because... there's no challenge for him? why doesn't the mean casting director in neji want to challenge him?
(disclaimer that I'm on suzu's route and have only done kisa's route before this)
like, okay, so neji finds out that amber isn't participating in univeil's summer performance. his strategy would be something like a mix of fall and winter: aim to win, but also use the opportunity to train your new actors. since there isn't a chui to beat in this scenario, he and fumi can relax and risk a bit of the performance to train the new guys. alright, makes sense, cool cool.
so neji writes the characters and assigns the roles, right. the third years have some inner conflicts to overcome, and the first years have some growing to do. we have fumi playing the talented genius who quit competitive dancing, and kai who plays as someone that limits himself or is otherwise unambitious for the sake of supporting others. okay, same conflicts, let's see if the character development transfers from role to actor.
we have suzu playing louis who has pages and pages of monologue specifically, because suzu is bad at memorizing lines unless it's built around a conversation with another person (opposite of sou, who can memorize lines on his own). and also he has to do it while dancing, which he also needs to improve on. sou plays a jeanne who is cheerful, sociable, literally acts as the glue that binds everyone together through instigating the competition -- a departure from sou's own personality (plus sou, at this point I think, still wanted to play jack roles, though idk if neji knew this, or if it mattered to him). kisa plays a jack role for the first time, while also dancing and singing, and had to deal with neji sending her off to spy/steal ideas from other classes for her own improvement (in the guise of letting other classes try to poach her from quartz). neji always pushes a little harder on kisa, because he's always amazed that kisa will just do any of his own unreasonable demands (he says something to this effect if you let kisa choose neji to help her during one of the rehearsals).
so, okay, we've got a training plan down for everyone... except mitsuki. mitsuki doesn't get a challenge. shiroma is a side character, a prize to be won, very flat compared to even mukai (who has more depth to his personality even without the last minute improv). neji even throws in the random jazz lounge singer just so mitsuki can sing, which ends up looking more like a favor to mitsuki (since he only likes singing) and a "might as well use your talents somewhere" scenario.
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(lmao shut up mitsuki, you got an easy role. sou has to dance both the great galleon and the random social dance kanna does in the background in andou's studio, and the dance she does with louis. the only characters who don't dance as much are mukai and employees A and B).
neji seems to place mitsuki in the same category as otori and himself: reliable in the roles they're good at, with no need to push for improvement compared to the others. but that's so interesting to me because like... why wouldn't he push mitsuki more? why wait until late into the year during the winter performance? and even then, initially, he wanted mitsuki as al jeanne more so to train kisa and fumi, rather than mitsuki himself. like, this is the scriptwriter who has no problems using other people's own inner conflicts as inspiration for his writing. neji can be a mean casting director when he wants to be. there's no reason why mitsuki is an exception.
I guess shiroma being a prize to be won and nothing more does mimic how mitsuki is valued for being a tresor and nothing more. but there is no space in the play for shiroma or mitsuki to do anything about that, unlike fumi and kai whose characters (andou and hasekura) both change throughout the play. mitsuki himself realizes very late into rehearsals (like, around a week before the performance) how he can connect with shiroma
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and I mean, sure, that sounds compelling, but I don't think that's what neji intended nor do I think mitsuki is just talking about shiroma at this point, but hey this is the "theater is a metaphor" game sooooooo
anyway. I just think it's so odd that neji doesn't push mitsuki that much... but then I think about otori. I'd bet if otori wasn't so hilariously antagonistic to suzukisasou, he would also get the mean director neji treatment. not because of otori himself but more like. neji writes around actor chemistry and otori's rapport with the other actors is just less inspiring for drama and more inspiring for comedy LMAO (sorry otori). chui himself had a missing takihime bc he didn't really vibe with anyone on the stage.
and maybe that's it? mitsuki is also a person who distances himself from other people, and doesn't really put in the effort until later in the game. and before he even makes the effort for quartz (that neji sees), he really only made an effort for kisa. (I still maintain that mitsuki cares a lot about quartz even from the beginning, but whatever, I guess early game mitsuki that wasn't compelling enough for neji)
and I think it makes more sense why neji couldn't write anything for mitsuki. early game mitsuki doesn't have interesting relationships that neji could see. neji could write fumi and kai together and let their own internal conflicts be reflected in their relationship onstage. hasekura lets andou shine. mary jane wanted an equal (some form of it, a "friend" in the play) and that's why she created jacob. neji sees suzu and sou fighting in the hallway and in the next play writes jire and fugio fighting over chicchi. neji sees otori... being otori, and either writes him as funny side character A or a small-time antagonist to kisa.
which makes it extra hilarious why neji didn't understand oh rama havenna. neji wanted to experiment with fumi as a jack and kisa as a lead role. and mitsuki finally, coincidentally slots in as someone who could fill in the gaps left by fumi not being the al jeanne, and as someone who has a good relationship with kisa. and yet. mitsuki excels above and beyond during oh rama havenna, precisely because he makes rukiora his own character (as opposed to how neji initially wrote rukiora based on a younger version of himself; hence rukiora's relationship with domina) and rukiora's chemistry with chicchi reflects mitsuki's own relationship with kisa.
idk, I think all of this is just neat. kinda wish neji pushed mitsuki a little bit earlier, but also I think it's cute that he kept giving mitsuki easy roles for a while. he can push and prod the other actors, but he's making sure the princess doesn't have too much to complain about.
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httpsseli · 5 months ago
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cautious ✿; pablo gavira
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;plot. a dinner night leaves off with a special tip.
;warnings. smut!! minors shoo! use of spanish language, the word papi does get used on this fanfic! oral sex(male receiving), squirting, sexting, car sex and a possible of public sex.
authors note// hiii! this is my first ever fanfic on this app, decided to move my work here, i do apologize if this is long.
-
tonight was team dinner, the whole team would show up with their girlfriends. now heading to the restaurant with your boyfriend, gavi, you were in the passenger seat watching over him like a baby. chatting and being touchy over small things, the two of you in love like teenagers. “i’m pretty sure things will be okay amorcito, nothing wrong at dinner.” you spoke, looking at him. “we always get teased! it’s not fair at all!” he said, gripping on the wheel. the gps now speaking about 10 minutes away from the restaurant.
after parking the car and a few make outs, you and gavi arrived at the restaurant. you both got out of the car, he held your lower back as the two of you walked inside, from a distance away you saw the team already chatting and laughing, you were glad to see mikky, frenkies girlfriend. you heard a “follow me” from the waitress, gavi held onto your waist both you and him walking to the dining area. “y/n and gavi..aren’t we surprised you two are late..” pedri joked as he chuckled, “haha very funny gonzález.” gavi rolled his eyes, you looked down slightly snickering. you walked over to take your seat in front of gavi, you smiled at him.
“aren’t just the two of you full of love..” frenkie said, you blushed heavily. you looked up at gavi, whose adam apple was bobbing out, leaning back against the chair in his white shirt. you bit your bottom lip, mikky shook your shoulder as your senses returned. “hm? what’s wrong?” you said, and she slightly laughed. “they were asking questions, that’s it..” she said, you smiled. you slightly stood up, holding onto your dress from your thighs.
“so y/n, how has gavi been..” alejandro spoke, you choked on your whine, “f-fine..he’s very lovely and just an amazing boyfriend.” you spoke, gavi smiled at you, the team letting out a few “aw’s”. fermín chuckling, “he has to be amazing at something else..” your face gets red, and gavi glares at fermín causing the table to laugh.
“i’ll be back..” you said, gavi looked at you, and you smiled before you excused yourself. you walked to the bathroom, you sighed in relief at being stuck with a horny you. you went into a stall, closed yourself inside, and being the sneakiest girl..you took pictures of your thighs. even took a video of you playing with your tits, you smiled like a kid that just stole candy. you pulled the top of your dress, opening gavis messages between you and him.
you sent a small message.
you: surprise ;)
gavi: you’re so wrong for this y/n. my god you look so fucking breathtaking..
you: i need you papi..
gavi: later.
you quickly got up, flushing the toilet and washing your hands. drying them, you opened the door walking back to the dining area, where now you’re in front of gavi. he looked at you, his eyes darker under the mix of yellow and orange aura, the two of you making eye contact. you winked at him, as he bit the inside of his cheek shaking his head, you watched a smirk form in his face.
the night was just getting started..
-
after dinner, chats and chuckles. “gavi, can i order something..” you said teasingly, you cupped your cheeks, letting your elbows rest on the table leaning in closely. you looked at him with doe eyes, he bit his lip. “anything for you amor..” he said, you smiled before sitting back properly. gavi looked at you while he was talking with balde. the boy’s eyes got darker. you waited for your dessert, still talking to mikky. “oh thank you!” you said, once your plate was in front of you. “you could share..” she said, you laughed. “girl your plate is right in front of you!” you said, she widened her eyes. “oh right sorry!” she said laughing.
you had gotten a small chocolate cake with vanilla ice cream on top, a small chocolate shell covering the top. with your spoon you went straight in, gavi watched you for a few moments, and you picked up the ice cream on your spoon from the small cake, you licked the ice cream placing it in your mouth, the coldness hitting the insides of your mouth. you swirled your tongue around the spoon, swallowing the ice cream. gavi bit his bottom lip, you smirked slightly as your foot dragged up to his calf, gavi turned quiet not saying a single thing.
you quietly giggled, your leg rising upward now this being your one shot, your foot rubbed on his crotch. he groaned quietly, and you continued eating the small pastry pretending as if nothing was going on under the table. the two of you making eye contact, he watched your lips wrap around the spoon, the use of your tongue onto the silverware. his dick hardening under the fabric of his shapewear, you bit down on the utensil.
you winked at him, leg rubbing up and down against his boner. he bit down on his lip, glaring at you. you smiled one last time, setting your foot down after the minutes of crotch rubbing and teasing.
-
after long conversations and a few portions of pastries, dinner with the team was over. you were currently talking with mikky and sara, about a few plans or gossip that was interesting to you. “well, i have to get going! i’m not sure who is driving and stuff..” you said, mikky and sara both smiled at you. “well, it was nice catching up with you y/n! i’ll see you later!” mikky waved. sara hugged you, “well, good luck driving with him! i heard from the others that he drives pretty intense..” she said, and you giggled. “thank you for the warning, i’ll see you soon!” you said, she waved at you before you turned around.
gavi held your waist, “let’s go now.” he said, and you nodded.
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the drive is quiet, the sound of the ac being slightly high, the cold air hitting your chest as the cardigan was doing as much. you were watching the road, hoping to stay awake for as long as you could, gavis hand slowly traced to your inner thigh. you cleared your throat, holding in any explicit sounds. his fingers crossed over to your core, still driving. “no panties? my, my, my..what a sneaky ‘lil girl..” he said beginning to rub his fingers in between your wet folds, you quickly responded with a whimper.
“gavi…” you gasped out, a finger gathering up your dewiness oozing out, he spread your stickiness around your clit.
within seconds, he slipped his finger inside of your opening. just as you grew wetter, he began to finger you slowly. his fingers dragging out of you haltingly, lucid and erotic noises coming from your vocal chord. you leaned your head back against the seat, leaning your body closer to his fingers into a deeper position. he continued thrusting his fingers into your slickness, your vocals increasing. turning into small begs and moans of gavis name.
“more?” he spoke, gripping onto the wheel.
“yes, please.” you cried out, another finger being added to your filth.
you gripped onto the seat, he gripped onto the wheel tighter parking the car into an underground garage. his fingers slipping out, a whine coming out of your throat. “what! why’d you stop!” your hands in the air.
“backseat. now.” he spoke, you quickly undid your seatbelt, getting on your fours. “hey!” you yelled, his hands gripping the delight sensitive skin from your hips. his other hand coming in contact with your skin, giving it a small slap. you chewed down on your lip with the top of your teeth, another smack came in the meeting. only this time, harder.
you slapped his hand off, finally crawling to the back. your bottom sitting on the side of the passenger seat, gavi then made his way to the back. instantaneously, you crawled over to your boyfriend's lap, your dewiness damping the material of his jeans. gavi pulled you closer, throwing yourself on him. the two of you’s lips crashed down, kissing each other lustfully and desperately, a small whine leaving his lips. your hands cupping his cheeks, meanwhile your fingers in his hair curling against his scalp, his hands tightly holding your waist, fingertips scrunching your dress.
as the two of you made out, your hands carried themselves away down to the hem of his white tee. his lips parted from yours, he took his shirt off.
the sight making you bite your lip, your mouth slightly watering. gavi’s hands tightly running up your chest, eyes looking up with you, the parking lot light making his brown eyes shine with a small sparkle. “my pretty girl..take this off for me? hm?” he said, you took the white cardigan, exposing your shoulders. you pulled the straps down, letting the straps fall slowly.
your boyfriend watched the top fall off your chest, your perky tits on display. you tugged it off, with how short your height was you managed to strip the rest in front of him. slowly getting on your knees, hand rubbing his noticeable bulge, you unbuttoned his jeans pulling his bottoms down, your hands finding the waistband. Letting his cock rest against his tummy. “not just going to suck itself pretty especially with those eyes.” he said, you nodded.
your hand jerking up to his veiny length, you spat down. letting your wet coat around his heat, you wrapped your mouth around the head, he groaned loudly letting his head fall back onto the seat. you slightly snickered at how quick the contact was for him to react, within minutes you began to bobble your head slowly. he held onto the top of your head, grunting and whimpering. your tongue wandering its way around, inhaling the smell and the sweet taste of him, your eyes turning red, swelling up with tears from the base.
he pulled on your hair, pulling you away from his cock. gavi knew you couldn’t pretty much deep throat him, even after time after time of trying, you were never able to, he looked down at you. wiping off your salivation, you immediately crawled onto his lap. holding onto his shoulders for leverage, you sunk yourself down. “god,” he groaned, and you began to leap yourself onto him. your pussy dripping, slowly onto him.
his hands gripping your hips tightly, groaning and grunting. your hand holding onto his jaw, moaning uncontrollably, whimpering by the stretch of him. yours and gavis heavy breathing and panting causing the two of you to sweat after he had turned the car off.
moments later, you kissed him sloppily, whiny moaning into his mouth. the two of you sharing a desperate, sexual kiss. your fingers curling onto his jaw, immediately picking up your pace hopping onto him faster. “always riding me so good, pretty girl.” , “oh..you feel so good papi..” you moaned out, he cupped your ass cheek, guiding you through it.
you began getting tired, pushing you down. he thrusted his hips up, causing you to cry out, holding onto his shoulder. your right hand, slamming onto the window. your fingertips slightly twitching and sliding down against the glass that was slowly evaporating. you continued bouncing up most times, your hair was nearly wet, “si..si amor..” you moaned louder, the praising causing gavi to twitch inside you.
he thrusted up quicker hitting the sweet spot, causing you to gasp, you saw white in your vision. you leaned closer to him, your chest just inches away from his face. “i’m close..” you whined, your other hand gripping onto the back of his neck. he chuckled, taking his free hand, tracing it down to your clit. his fingers began rubbing above your folds, and you gasped again, mouth hanging open.
you gripped tighter onto his neck, hand smacking onto the window, leaving a print as you let yourself go.
he grabbed your waist, throwing you down onto the seat. throwing your legs onto his shoulder, your chest heaving rapidly. “god!” you cried out, his pace going quicker than he was. the car was filled with skin slapping, heavy breathing, cries, and grunts. most lastly, the following sounds of your pussy gushing.
“fuck!” you cried out, squirting out, your fluids jumping around like a waterfall. gavi pulled out, stroking himself, he moaned and grunted, before he fell down onto you. “that was..”, “amazing and.. definitely.. needed.” he said, between heavy breathing, you breathlessly laughed. you caressed his back.
“now what..” he said, and you looked down, kissing his lips. “now we share a sweaty cuddle moment!” you said. he giggled laying his head on your sticky chest.
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femmefatalevibe · 1 year ago
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Essential Feminist Texts Booklist
The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir
A Vindication of The Rights of Women by Mary Wollstonecraft
Feminist Theory: From Margin to Center by Bell Hooks
Feminism is For Everybody: Passionate Politics by Bell Hooks
The Dialectic of Sex: The Case for Feminist Revolution by  Shulamith Firestone 
Sexual Politics by Kate Millett
Full Frontal Feminism by Jessica Valenti
Women Who Run With the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype by Clarissa Pinkola Estes
The Creation of Patriarchy by Gerda Lerner 
Yes Means Yes!: Visions of Female Sexual Power and a World Without Rape by Jessica Valenti
Invisible Women: Data Bias in a World Designed for Men by Caroline Criado Perez 
Bad Feminist by Roxanne Gay
The Color Purple by Alice Walker
Hood Feminism: Notes from the Women That a Movement Forgot by Mikki Kendall
Men Explain Things To Me by Rebecca Solnit
The Female Gaze: Essential Movies Made by Women by Alicia Malone
Girlhood by Melissa Febos
The Story of Art Without Men by Katy Hessel
Is This Normal?: Judgment-Free Straight Talk about Your Body by  Dr. Jolene Brighten
Come As You Are: Revised and Updated: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski, Ph.D
The Menopause Manifesto: Own Your Health with Facts and Feminism by Dr. Jennifer Gunter
The Pain Gap: How Sexism and Racism in Healthcare Kill Women by Anushay Hossain 
Unwell Women: Misdiagnosis and Myth in a Man-Made World by Elinor Cleghorn 
The Turnaway Study: The Cost of Denying Women Access to Abortion by Diana Greene Foster, Ph.D
Regretting Motherhood: A Study by Orna Donath
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gavisfanta · 8 months ago
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Hey could you maybe do a fermin Lopez smut where he comes home in a bad mood cuz they lost a game against Madrid and they have a argument, then reader calls him,, hijo de puta" Which means son of a bitch and it ends with rough and dominant smut?
Thanks, and you don't have to write it if ur uncomfortable ❤🫶
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CLÁSICO - FERMIN
summary: fermin losses a game and he doesn't like your reaction to it.
a/n: this has been sitting in my drafts for weeks. Its so short and not very detailed and im sorry about that
:(
warnings: smut
"Fuck" You muttered under your breath as the final whistle of the game was blown. Barcelona had just lost 2-1 against real madrid.
You knew how important that game was to Fermin, he had talked about it months before how easy they're gonna beat them.
You sighed and gained Mikkys attention with that. "Are you okay?" She asked while she put a hand on your shoulder.
"Fermin is gonna be in a great mood now." You exhaled deeply and she then shook her head.
"He won't be that bad, don't worry." mikky smiled and Frenkie stood up.
They dropped you off at Fermins house, thats where the two of you usually hang out.
After sitting on your phone for what felt like an eternity you heard the door swin open.
"Hey" You smiled widely as you watched him throw his things to the ground. "You played amazin-" You tried to say but Fermin cut you off.
"Not now, leave me alone." Fermin said coldly while looking straight into your eyes and then walked past you to the couch.
You were a bit taken aback by his words, you knew that he would be in a bad mood, but not THIS bad.
"I get that you're angry, but you don't have to take it out on me?" You snapped back at him, you were fully right. Just because they lost, shouldn't give Fermin the right to be mad at you.
And Fermin knew that too.
"Y/n, just please leave me alone. Not now, really not now." Fermin turned to face you to say this, after he explained to you he turned around again.
"Hijo de puta." You whispered under your breath as you turned around, wanting to walk the other way.
Then you heard heavy footsteps coming closer to you at a rapid speed.
"Who the fuck are you calling a son of a bitch?" Strong hands gripped your wrists and pinned you the the wall. Your breath hitched at the sudden motion and you saw Fermin staring at you.
He wasn't aggressive, he was calm, but you knew that he was in a bad mood and he was not to mess with.
"Go upstairs." Fermin pointed to the stairs and slowly let go of your wrists. As you walked away he spanked your ass hardly, you were sure it left a mark.
As you went upstairs you sat down on the bed, not knowing what to do, until the door swung open again.
"Why are you clothed?" Fermin almost stormed inside and then goes over to you.
"You didn't tell me what to do." You mumbled as he leaned closer to you.
"Do I have to tell you to come on my dick for you to do it? No. Get naked." Fermin said in a harsh voice which was just in above a whisper.
As you took off your shirt Fermin watched you, the same with the pants, and you were left in underwear in front of him he started to take off his clothes too until he was left in his boxers. Fermin then nudged his head toward the king sized bed with black covers.
"Lie down" Fermin mumbled and of course you did, he crawled over you on all fours. He then leaned down to kiss you, it wasn't gentle or sweet like other times, it was possesive, dominant and aggressive.
The heat between your legs only grew as his hands started sliding under you and groping your ass. He then took off your pants and your panties too, you whined as soon as the cold air hit your arousal.
You moaned silently into his mouth, Fermin pulled away.
"If you make a fucking noise again you wont come the whole night." Fermin told you, he was just a few millimeters away from your face.
Then you instantly nodded your head, not daring to say another word.
The kiss got more heated and Fermin opened your bra, sliding it down your arms he didn't break the kiss once. The only thing he did is release his right hand from your ass and squeeze your tit instead.
Moaning almost felt like a need now as he ran his hands down to your throbbing clit.
"Your cunt is so wet." Fermin groaned while he took off his pants and his shirt.
Then his hands traveled up to yohr mouth as he stuck two fingers inside your mouth for you to wet his fingers. As he was satisfied with you licking and sucking around his fingers he pulled them out of your mouth, a string of salvia connecting his fingers with your mouth still.
You whimpered as he slid his fingers into your pussy. You felt him his fingers run around your walls and eventually he pulled out and brought his hand to pump his hand up and down his dick a couple of times before he teased your entrance.
"Don't make a sound." Fermin gave you a look and you nodded, swallowing while he thrusted inside of you immediately, without any warning or giving you any time to adjust.
"Fermin" You moaned out and he pulled out of you for a second before thursting back even harder. He made you scream and you were sure that your neighbours are gonna file a complaint but it felt so damn good.
You felt a heat building up in your stomach when Fermin pushed down on your lower abdomen and made it feel even tighter inside of you.
He threw his head back while his thrusts became sloppy and then also started rubbing your clit.
It didn't take long for him to come but just as you felt your climax approach he pulled out of you and looked at his load spilling out of your pussy.
You gave him a questioning look as to why he didn't finish you off but he smiled.
"Bad girls don't get to come." He kissed your cheek and lied down next to you, hugging you tight. "Goodnight amor."
That dickhead.
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