#Might be projecting a bit here but this is what I've seen.
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hauntingsofafuturespast · 2 days ago
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I think the really hard part about this is, no matter HOW self-aware you get there will always be more about yourself that you don't know or more for you to grow into. Just because you are wiser or MORE self-aware than other people around you that doesn't make you flawless or perfect. But what's difficult is-- when you f*ck up NO ONE ELSE knows what to do because 99% of the time you're the person who knows BEST so most of the time you either don't see your faults or you ignore them until they completely blow up in your face and you HAVE to deal with them. But no one around you can help you because THEY AREN'T EVEN THAT FAR ALONG YET and yet people still expect you to act as you've always acted and THAT'S NOT NORMAL so you either wind up trying to pretend like your fine, shove down your problems, cut yourself off from what meager support you maybe DID have, or just completely give up. Ironic, but true.
Additionally, of course, you are often your own worse critic as a way to learn and grow, but that criticism which may normally keep an ego in check can actually fail you in a crisis when it's built on fear.
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swordfright · 11 months ago
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this might just be because i'm a bit older than your average mcyt fan, but it makes me kind of sad to see all these younger fans scramble to wipe their mcyt fanworks off the internet the second a content creator is revealed to have done something awful.
don't get it twisted, I'm a big believer in rescinding financial support to ccs you no longer agree with or admire by unsubscribing, deciding not to buy merch, or refusing to give them ad revenue by watching their content. if you don't feel comfortable giving someone money, don't give them your money. material support isn't what i'm talking about here - I'm talking about fanfic, fansongs, fanart. yknow, content that fans create for themselves and each other, stuff that's not for ccs.
in the past year (and especially the past week, obviously) i've seen tons of mcyt fans saying they're planning to delete their art (or that they already have deleted) because they don't want their work to be associated with content creators who behaved badly, and that they want "a fresh start." I've seen fan writers say the same thing about their fics. and like, this is fine, do what you want with your stuff, but i'll be honest...it does make me sad that so many younger fans seemingly have been made to feel such a high degree of responsibility for ccs that they're unable to enjoy fandom (a thing that is FOR US! FOR YOU!) or take any measure of pride in their past fanworks.
again, at the end of the day you should do what you want with your own shit. but what i will say is, if what you want to do with your work is delete it, at least think first about why you're considering the nuclear option. you aren't responsible for a cc's behavior, and that goes for literally anyone who's ever had a hand in making anything you like: books, movies, games, anything. you shouldn't be made to feel ashamed of having created fan content for a piece of media that a shitty person was involved in making. straight up, this kind of shame isn't something i believe should exist in fandom, because it's parasocial in the same way that positive emotions towards media/creators can be parasocial.
and also, as someone who's been involved in fandom for a long time, i can say with confidence that creators will keep disappointing you like this. there are shitty people out there. if you're searching for a piece of media with zero shitty people ever involved in the project, you will not find it. i'm not saying this to normalize shitty behavior on the part of creators, I'm saying this to emphasize that bearing the shame and guilt of every creator to this degree is not sustainable or healthy (and it's not how fandom used to operate, but that's a conversation for another day, perhaps.)
i understand why so many folks are considering deleting their fanworks, and if that's you...think about it before you do it. that's all i'm asking. you don't want to create a habit of divesting yourself of all evidence of having been passionate about art created by someone who sucks, because if you do get into that habit, then your chances of ever truly enjoying a fandom again are, unfortunately, pretty slim.
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astrotruther · 3 months ago
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Astro placements that remind me of the 'archetypes' in Robert Greene's Art of Seduction
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The gist of the book is that there are 9 types of people who attract our fancy, and if you look back upon your past relationships in which you had the hardest time getting over people, you'll find at least one of these archetypes had you in a chokehold. I've noticed certain placements embody these archetypes quite well. So let's get into it!
🧜���♀️The Siren
Intense, all-consuming, irresistible. This is the kind of person who pulls you in just by existing. Their energy is sensual, they play with desire, and there's no hiding the fire behind their gaze.
Venus in Scorpio or Mars in Scorpio: These folks ooze mystery and magnetism. Venus or Mars here practically commands intense eye contact, a stare that feels like it's looking straight into your soul (and maybe reading all your secrets 👀).
Pluto in the 1st House: They have that come hither aura without even trying. Their presence is just heavy, dark, and intriguing.
Lilith aspects to Venus or Mars: Lilith knows how to channel that raw, primal energy that people can’t look away from.
🕶️The Rake
A flirt and unapologetically so. The Rake is playful, passionate, and knows how to make someone feel like they're the only person in the room. They thrive on thrilling their “prey.”
Mars in Aries: Direct, passionate, no games. Mars in Aries dives right in and doesn’t hold back, which makes people feel desired AF.
Venus in Gemini: Flirty, playful, always has the right words at the right time. They’ve got charm in every text, every look, every smirk.
Eros in the 3rd House: Eros here gets off on mental stimulation, knowing that once they can engage your mind, they can get you anywhere else too.😏
💐The Ideal Lover
Romantic, tender, understanding. They know just what you want and give it to you. There’s an aura of "I was made for you" about them that feels very movie-like.
Venus in Libra: Literally the ultimate lover. They’re charming, attentive, and all about creating harmony in love.
Neptune in the 7th House: They radiate dreamy, fairy-tale love vibes. It's a magnetic quality, and people project all kinds of fantasies onto them.
Psyche in the 1st House or conjunct Venus: Psyche brings an intuitive understanding of what people need emotionally, making them feel deeply seen.
🎭The Dandy
Unpredictable, a little bit of both masculine and feminine energy, and oh-so-daring. The Dandy doesn’t fit into any one box and totally thrives on that.
Uranus in the 1st House: Think uniqueness and uncontainable vibes. They attract attention without even trying and aren’t afraid to stand out.
Venus in Aquarius: Experimental in love, unconventional, and so full of quirks. They might dress edgy, embrace their quirks, and draw people in through pure originality.
Mars in Libra: Balances both masculine and feminine energy perfectly. Their way of pursuing people is soft yet firm, and they’re never boring.
🌱The Natural
Effortlessly cute, innocent, and unassuming. They have this way of making everyone around them feel at ease and seen. They’re playful without trying too hard, which gives a refreshing sense of authenticity.
Moon in Cancer or Venus in Cancer: They radiate warmth and gentleness. People feel safe around them and are easily drawn to their nurturing vibe.
Venus in the 5th House: This Venus placement is playful and creative, attracting people through sheer joyfulness and a love for fun.
Ceres in the 1st or 7th House: Ceres has that caring, supportive energy that makes people feel genuinely seen and loved.
🕸️The Coquette
They play hard to get, with a bit of push-pull energy. They leave people wanting more and keep others on their toes. Coquettes are experts in creating mystery.
Venus in Virgo: They might come off reserved at first, but their attention to detail and small gestures make people feel special.
Moon in Scorpio: They keep their emotions under wraps, drawing others in by only showing glimpses of their deeper self.
Juno in the 12th House: They’re commitment-focused but mysterious about it, leaving people to wonder if they’ll ever fully understand them.
💃The Charmer
Smooth, sociable, a lover of people. Charmers win over others with their adaptability and attentiveness, making everyone feel like they’re the most fascinating person in the room.
Sun in Libra: Naturally sociable and harmonious, they know just how to appeal to people’s desires and make everyone feel at ease.
Mercury in the 7th House: Skilled at reading people and adapting to them. They know how to say the right thing at the right time.
Aphrodite in the 1st or 10th House: Aphrodite brings allure and grace to their public presence. When they walk into a room, people notice; they just want to look, like they’re drawn to a work of art.
🌟The Charismatic and The Star
Radiates confidence and star quality. They draw people in with the sheer force of their presence and charisma. This type doesn't even need to try—they just shine.
Sun in Leo: Confident, warm, and charismatic. Leo Suns love to be adored and know just how to work a crowd.
Jupiter in the 1st House: Jupiter expands their presence, making them seem larger-than-life and totally magnetic.
Pallas in the 5th House: With Pallas here, they’re strategic about how they present themselves, drawing people in with skillful, playful interactions.
✰ That's it folks! I hope you all can find your placements somewhere in there and feel empowered and confident in your charisma.
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Help Palestinians:
Ahmed: https://gofund.me/102d1cb3 (vetted by @90-ghost)
Tamer: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help (vetted by @el-shab-hussein)
Heba: https://gofund.me/e6a27592
Howayda: https://gofund.me/4d233342
Aya: https://www.gofundme.com/f/fm8uf-khan-younes
Click daily: https://arab.org/click-to-help/palestine/
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novemberheart · 6 months ago
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{overview} While your relationship with the pack is seemingly off to a good start, you can't help but feel like this may not be the pack for you.
{warnings} a/b/o dynamics, cursing, impersonating a medical professional, cursing, crying, female reader
Chapter 4 <- Chapter 5 -> Chapter 6
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Simon had fallen asleep again soon after that. You continued to project your scent on and off for the next fifteen minutes before the door creaked open.
“How’s it going?” Kyle whispered like he was afraid to wake the sleeping beast. You smiled at him over your shoulder.
“Fine.”
He entered the room, shutting the door behind him. He grabbed a chair by the door, setting it down a few inches away from you.
“He woke up for a bit.”
“He seem out of it?”
You shook your head. “Not really. We talked a tiny bit.”
“He was nice to you,” Kyle questioned. You quickly nodded your head. “Then he was out of it.” he chuckled a grin across his face. You rolled your eyes before they flickered to Simon. The washcloth suddenly looked all too dry. You stole it from Simon's forehead heading into the bathroom to refresh it. You set it back on his forehead, another pleased grumble echoing in his chest.
As you sat you couldn't help but notice the slight awe on Kyle's face.
“Been here for three hours and have already tamed the beast.” he sighed, shaking his head. You giggled looking back at the hulking man.
“I haven't seen a beast yet.” you smiled.
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“How are they doing in there?” John questioned as soon as Kyle closed the door.
“Turned him into a house cat.” Kyle chuckled. It was time for the shift change. Kyle being replaced by John.
“Better than I thought the outcome would be.” He rumbled back. He quickly checked to make sure the hallway was clear before leaning forward and pressing a quick kiss to Kyle's temple. “You and Sunshine swing back to pick her up for dinner then bring her home, yeah?”
“You got it, Cap.”
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“You don't have a phone or something?” Simon grumbled, causing you to jolt out of your slump. His russet eyes peering over at you.
“I do.” you stumbled. “It was raining when I got here so I slipped it into my backpack so it didn't get all wet,” you explained. “Left it back in the room.”
“What room did you get?” he hummed. His voice was groggy and you quickly got up to fetch more water.
“The one between yours and John.”
“That's the good one.” he took the straw between his teeth, finishing it with a quick thanks. The nurse had just come in around twenty minutes ago giving him another round of painkillers. The little movement he had slipped further away. “Johnny plays rain sounds to fall asleep, like we're in the middle of a hurricane every night.”
You chuckled at this. Throwing the cup away.
“I might like that. I enjoy the rain.” you sighed. You weren't sure if you could bear to sit down anymore. Your legs becoming sore and your butt going numb. “What about Kyle?” you hummed.
“He's a good boy.” Simon complimented. His hazy eyes watched as you walked back and forth in front of his bed. You stopped suddenly, your hands resting on the footboard.
“Are you hungry? You haven't eaten since I've been here,” you questioned.
“Like you can read my mind, pup.” he complimented. “Nurses ‘round here are stingy.” he huffed.
“I can hunt something down for you.” you offered, already heading towards the door.
“Take one of the lads with you,” he ordered after you. “Walking around base smellin’ like that,” he said the last part just below a whisper.
“He's hungry,” you told John as soon as you opened the door. He looked up from his book, already moving to stand. “Is there a cafeteria here?”
“I think they have a small one. But I'm pretty sure it's just for nurses and doctors, honey.” John looked around, rubbing at his eyes. Part of you wanted to grab him and find a bed for him to sleep in. “Should be bringing him dinner soon.”
“You know what floor?” you asked.
His brows furrowed, surprised you hadn't shown any signs of determent. “One with the kitchen I think,” he answered. You nodded your head in thanks before beginning your trek towards the elevator. Floor five was where you needed to go. John followed you, his eyes reflecting with curiosity.
“Stay here,” you commanded. He stopped just outside the elevator watching you carefully. You peeked your head around the corner. There was a small line of about ten hospital personnel lining up to get some food. Lucky for you there was a cleaning cart a few feet away from you with a white coat thrown on it. You reached out grabbing it, working fast to put it on and hold it shut with your arms. It was long on you. Too long. Hopefully, no one would pay too much attention.
John leaned against the wall suppressing a chuckle at your newfound mission. You disappeared around the corner, sneaking your way into the line. The person in front of you lifted their nose taking a few deep sniffs before looking at you.
“Just came from the omega ward. You know how that is.” you grinned- admittedly a bit awkwardly. The person gave you a small nod before turning their back to you. You parted with a breath you didn't know you were holding. When it was finally your turn you grabbed a heaping spoonful of rice and some type of beef stew. You also grabbed a brownie. Not for Simon but for you for successfully achieving your mission. You quickly rounded the corner, handing the bowl to John, peeling your coat off and tossing it back on the cart.
“I must say that was quite impressive.” John smiled at you.
“Thanks.” you beamed, taking a bite out of your brownie. He watched you for a long moment. Between the sparkle in your eyes and the smell of happy omega, you were hard to take his eyes off of. A rose in the desert. As the elevator doors opened you took the bowl from him practically bounding over to Simon's door. You seem to have built a bond with him fast. Unexpected. But it made John optimistic.
“Special delivery,” you smirked, leaving the door open in case John wanted to come in.
“No you didn't,” Simon growled. If he wasn't so medicated he would've skyrocketed up in his bed. “How’d you swing that?” he questioned. You put his food down on his tray, searching around for the lever that would sit him upright.
“Can you sit up or will that hurt you?” you checked, just as John came in closing the door.
“I’ll survive.” Simon insisted, his pupils dilating.
“She went undercover for that, better enjoy it.” John sighed, sitting down. You finally found the up arrow, slowly raising Simon towards the tray.
“Oh yeah?”
“Mmmhhm,” John smirked. He had a proud look on his face. A look that you're not sure you've ever seen before. You flushed, looking back at Simon, whose eyes were drifting between the two of you. You grabbed Simon's right hand, placed a spoon in it, and set it on the tray. He moved as quickly as possible to scoop up the food. You sprang into action slowly, peeling his mask up to his nose.
“Might as well take it off, pup. Seen most of me by now anyway.” you bit the inside of your cheek, pulling the band away from one ear and peeling it off the other. John stayed silent, his eyes watching the both of you like it was a suspense film.
Simon was handsome. Not in the rugged way John was, or the pretty way Kyle was, or even the flat-out hot way Johnny was. He was a fighter. His nose was bent and bumpy, scars from badly healed wounds littering his face. His jaw was strong, covered in a five o'clock shadow from not being able to shave. His eyes easily described as dead. His lips were full, but you quickly averted your eyes not wanting to get caught staring at them. You made yourself busy by preparing another cup of water and placing it near his tray. Then taking the washcloth that had fallen into his lap in the bathroom to dry.
“You look better.” you heard John murmur.
“I've had a bit of help.” you heard Simon mutter back. Your first instinct was to believe he was speaking about you. The satisfied omega in you quickly shook off when you convinced yourself he was probably talking about a nurse. Course. All you did was put a wet rag on him and give him some water.
You re-emerged from the bathroom, eyeing the brownie you left in the entryway. It felt rude to eat it now. Simon was eating at a snail's pace, but he seemed content that he was eating.
“The boys are going to swing back around to pick you up for dinner then take you home.”
Home? It felt like a leap. One that you weren't quite sure you were ready for. While they had all been nice to you there was something strange in the air. Maybe it was just because they were all bonded and you weren't, but you felt like you were imposing. You also tried not to think about the fact that the only reason they wanted you in the first place was for the healing properties of omegas. Would they want to get rid of you after Simon healed?
“Honey?” John spoke again. You shook yourself out of your thoughts, nodding your head in agreement.
“Sounds good.” you smiled nervously. He eyed you up and down, before letting it rest.
“So tell me more about this undercover mission.” Simon drawled, between bites.
“I impersonated a doctor.” you shared.
“Stole the coat and everything.” John chuckled, putting his feet up on the same ledge you had.
“Isn't that a felony,” Simon smirked, causing your throat to dry. You hadn't thought about the consequences. What if someone found out? Would you get in trouble? I mean it wasn't like you were passing out pills and injecting people. “Relax, pup. Your biggest concern should be this one recruiting you.” Simon shot, sluggishly nodding his head towards John.
“Now he's right about that.” John smiled, patting your knee in comfort.
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By the time Kyle and Johnny had come to collect you, you were starving. The focus of projecting your scent made you burn more fuel. Plus the added emotional toll of being in a new environment, with new people and scents.
It was nice to be by the betas again. Less pressure. They had you sandwiched between them as they walked, people eyeing you in the hallway.
“Hungry, Peaches?” Johnny asked, looking over at you. His hand was ghosting over the small of your back. You just assumed he was guiding you in unfamiliar territory, but in reality, it was a claim.
“Very.” you groaned. Your stomach twists even more at the smell of food drifting throughout the halls. “Just hope for something good,” you added.
“I'm sure we can scrounge something up,” Kyle assured, holding open the cafeteria doors for you and Johnny. Luckily it was something good. A deconstructed shepherd's pie- which Johnny adamantly insisted wasn't even close to being accurate. You loaded up on extra mashed potatoes, the meat looking a little precarious.
“Have you ever gotten food poisoning from here?” you questioned, as you all worked through the line.
“No,” Kyle answered quickly, amusement in his eyes as they flickered over to Johnny.
“Aye. I may have once or twice.” Johnny practically mumbled.
“Cause you'll eat anything, mate.” Kyle snickered. “Decided the shrimp cocktail was worth trying,” Kyle explained, causing you to laugh.
The dessert was chocolate chip cookies. You resisted the urge to grab five of them, just taking one. Kyle added two more to your plate. “You can eat Johns and Simons. They won't mind.” he smiled down at you. You grinned, turning back to the front of the line.
“Can I get a to-go dinner?” Johnny asked once you got to the front. “This one's on mine too.” He nodded over to you, before swiping a blue card. The lunch lady nodded, passing him a takeout container.
“You had to pay?” you questioned, following Johnny as Kyle swiped his card.
“No. I think they just use it for tracking purposes. So they know how much everyone is eating.” he explained. You “oohed” before sitting down at the same table you had that afternoon.
“Is this your table or something?” you hummed already shoveling potatoes in your mouth. Johnny nodded his head through his stuffed mouth.
“Simon and John like it because they can see the whole cafeteria,” Kyle explained sitting down next to you. His scent blockers had begun to wear off because you caught a small whiff of fresh linen. The smell went directly to your brain and you could feel a tingle arising at the base of your head. It always amazed you how much closer you could feel to someone just after one sniff. You supposed that's why everyone around here wore scent blockers.
You wondered what John and Johnny smelt like.
“Paranoid bastards,” Johnny grumbled, with a slight pull of his lips.
‘Protective’. The word echoes in your head. It was every omegas dream. Be protected. Have an alpha that would protect you- a pack that would protect you. Kyle had already displayed that quality. A shiver ran up your spin at the thought of being something worth protecting. But you had never been deemed that before, why would that change? If Kyles's earlier behavior was anything it was probably just to check an alpha. It probably had nothing to do with you. You suddenly felt full.
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They walked you back ‘home’ and you were halfway there when Johnny dipped out to give John his dinner.
“So how was your first day?” Kyle asked, holding open the front door for you.
“It was good.” you smiled tiredly, your hands rubbing your eyes. Truth be told it wasn't how you imagined your first day. You would often imagine your first day with your new pack. Everyone would be sitting around, getting to know each other, and it would feel as though all of you had known each other for a lifetime. Instead, you had spent most of your time with a drugged-up alpha. Maybe you had just been naive.
“Probably not what you had in mind, yeah?” Kyle lightly chuckled. You know he didn't mean it, but the chuckle had rubbed you the wrong way. Maybe it was the tiredness, or your headache, or the feeling of being let down. He was a beta. The drive to join a pack wasn't as strong for him as it was for an alpha or omega. He didn't seem to understand this was going to be the rest of your life. The only one who had really made an effort to get to know you was Johnny, but he seemed like he would be content chatting with the wall.
“Not really,” you admitted. You gave him a small smile before heading towards ‘your’ room. “I'll see you tomorrow, Kyle,” you finished. You wanted nothing more than to take a quick shower and go to sleep.
You dug your phone out of your bag noticing two missed calls from Kate, exactly fifteen minutes apart. You pressed her contact.
“You must be having fun.” She greeted picking up after one ring. You sighed, causing her to frown on the other end.
“It's alright,” you murmured, beginning to peel off your clothes. You suddenly realized that your bag was still packed.
“What's wrong.” her tone was a bit snappy, but not against you. She just wanted to get to the bottom of things.
“What's wrong is my bag is still packed.” you nearly whimpered, your knees hitting the ground. You rested against your bag, staring up at the ceiling trying to hold on to the tears.
“Are you tired?” Kate asked softly. Her tone was softened by a motherly one.
“Yes.” you huffed. “But that's not the reason I'm upset.” you continued.
“Talk to me.” she pressed. You could hear her shuffling on the other line and the slight squeak of a chair. You could picture her leaning back in her office chair, her forehead resting on her fingertips.
“They don't care about me,” you muttered. You suppressed the hurt whine that threatened to claw its way out of your throat. “They're just using me, Kate. I mean I show up, but I don't get time to settle in or unpack my stuff. Then I get put straight to work like I'm some miracle worker who's going to get Simon better overnight.” you paused for a moment finally letting a few fat tears roll down your cheek. “I'm not saying they’re mean- they haven't done anything to make me feel unsafe. I just don't have a bond with any of them, Kate,” you used your discarded sweater to wipe at your face.
“I’ll talk to them.” Kate declared, causing your heart to drop.
“No!” you said- a bit too loudly. She growled on the other end.
“Well, what can I do?” Kate annunciated. You know she was at her wit's end. If there was one thing Kate Laswell hated it was the feeling of losing control. “I know you're upset, honey. I am too. But it's your first day. Please give it some time.” she pleaded.
“I will.” you agreed. “I just needed to vent.” you sighed with a sniffle. She breathed a sigh of relief. “Thanks for listening,” you said softly.
“Of course, honey.” she had returned to normal. “I’ll call you tomorrow. Around the same time?” She felt out. You nodded your head before agreeing verbally.
You tossed your phone on ‘your’ bed, before beginning to rip at the zippers of your duffle. You took a few deep breaths to steady yourself, blinking back some surprise when you smelt a familiar hint of fresh linen in the air. You brushed it off.
Meanwhile, Kyle had his ear pressed against your door, his heart racing a million miles a minute. They had a lot of making up to do.
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Hi everyone! 🤎 The story will begin to pick up after this I promise! Thanks for the support and I’ll see you all in two days for chapter 6!
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theabigailthorn · 4 months ago
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Hey I made a post a few days ago and someone referred me to you so I’m here to ask for advice and guidance because I’ve been in acting for years and it’s my life passion (stage acting specifically) but I’ve realized this year that I am a trans woman and I don’t know what to do about it because I feel like there are next to no opportunities for me in the community if I transition, especially when it comes to musicals and really anything during early transition. I’ve just started college and feel like now is the time to start pushing for hormones and whatnot if I’m going to transition but I don’t know if I should because I feel like there won’t be a place for me in the career I want anymore. I’m at a point where I could change career paths but I don’t really have anything else I want to do I’ve always just loved acting. So anyways I don’t know what to do and I’m kind of asking anyone for help who might listen or have valuable insights if you read this thank you for your time<3
Mm, this is a tricky one. Are you in Britain? If so then I agree that opportunities are thin on the ground, even more so than for cis people in the industry. I also don't think that's likely to improve quickly. Apart from a dearth of jobs, it helps to be realistic about the risks. I've had people in Britain tell me they straight up won't work with trans people, which is illegal but there's nothing you can do about it. I've had chats with other trans actors who feel there's a hard ceiling in Britain on what you're allowed to achieve, and it's a lot lower for us than it is for cis actors.
The British acting industry also has a chaser problem. One of the consequences of the widespread dehumanisation of trans people in this country is sexual abusers find we make good targets - we're already systemically vulnerable and many people don't care what happens to us. I've seen talented trans actors drop out or contemplate dropping out because they were sexually assaulted by a writer or director. A lot of cishet people still find it unspeakable that straight men prey on trans girls. As a purely hypothetical example, let's say there was a man with a history of being very creepy to women, especially young actresses, who went around sleeping with trans women in exchange for empty promises of work, and who also assaulted trans women at auditions for his big project, who everyone in the British entertainment trans community knows is a creep, who then went on to win a major award - wouldn't THAT just make you want to scromit?! 🙃 Purely hypothetical of course. This elite consensus that trans people are 'violable' also extends to less horrific but still awful things like cis people stealing our work, which isn't hypothetical and did in fact happen directly to me.
If you're in the USA then I think there's cause for optimism, depending a bit on what happens in November.
On the other hand, something they told me at drama school is "In order to have a career you must be two things: 1) Unique, and 2) Good to work with." So perhaps your transness will be your unique selling point! There's really no way to know until you try. And it wouldn't restrict you from making your own work either: look at people like Piss Carnation, who are doing well in fringe theatre! I remember having the same feelings about my own transition: I thought it would be the end of my career. So far the opposite has proven true, which is lovely! There's a lot of luck and privilege involved in that outcome though.
For me, acting is a calling - it's the closest thing I have to spirituality - I couldn't not do it.
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sionnisaweirdperson · 5 months ago
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saw a post about loving like a cat and i rase you: loving like a fox I am scared of you. I don't know why you are approaching me like this. are you a predator? no? you have food? okay! this is nice.. Ah! you tried to touch me! get away! predator! bite, bite and bark at you until you go away! hey, you're back. why? i bit and barked at you. you have more food? okay, but I'm going to eat it over here where you can't get me. You're not chasing me? thats nice. please stay over there.
i'm sorry for biting and barking. you scared me.
thank you for the food, but i'm still scared of you. . . . where did they go? They aren't here yet with food. maybe if i wait...
why aren't they here yet??
i made a mistake. i should have never let them get close. but it was so nice! they were so gentle!
maybe if i wait a bit more.... . . . I love you but i'm scared of loving. I'm scared you're going to hurt me. I'll wait for you and I'll protect you but i dont know if you feel the same way. you're mine, no one else is allowed to be here. unless you say so. I'm stubborn and mean and bark at everyone except you. I only do what you say. but you could hurt me the most if you wanted too. I'll never fully trust you. I'm still an animal. But for now i can love you. I'll sit here and observe from afar. I don't know if you want to hurt me, but i can't stop watching.
. . .
to me fox love is very hesitant at first, but once they trust a person they love them a lot. they might seem scared or distant, but they really do love and care. I've seen all sorts of examples of foxes becoming people's pets over time and trying to protect them just like a dog would. to me fox love is similar to dog love, but more hesitant and scared at first. but willing to trust give time.
. . .
okay yap over this might just be me projecting with my fox theriotype but who fucking cares!!! will post art soon i've been slacking
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salemlinnet · 3 months ago
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hey everyone!
a few news items right before we start up chapter 5. firstly i just wanna say thanks to everyone who follows my comics, it's been a pleasure as always. i've been keeping a longer buffer on patreon than usual, mostly for my mental health. publishing takes a lot of energy and i've really felt it necessary to just focus on production for a few weeks. at this point, patrons have seen most of chapter 5, there's only one more scene and about a page to be drawn. the quiet has been nice, i've caught up on a lot of house keeping, though i'm obviously very excited to present it! and on house keeping,
DOMESTICATED IS NOW LIVE AT IT'S NEW HOME!
to not go into the boring details (the old domain got trapped between to hosting sites in the middle of a buyout), it's not hosted at cod-domesticated.com (rip custom url you will be missed) it will instead be hosted at salemlinnet.com/domesticated (now you live at my house like you're my son why didn't i think of this sooner). if you find any errors in the pages i am so sorry i just formatted so many buttons TTuTT it would be super helpful to me if folks could report any specific buttons that don't work if it's convenient, it's been beta tested by the discord (thank you guys so much) but i'm just a dunce and i can't be trusted so there might be errors.
the simons are all wearing a little beret this chapter is my third point of business, i am losing it over the ghost beret. oh and the devil may care is up to chapter 18, will be chapter 19 within a few days. page 21 is out for patrons.
finally, to the people lurking for thistle and spade. i've wanted to say for some time, i'm really grateful that you've stuck around while i've been too sick to work on a bigger project. if you were here to see me start production for and then pull ghost #1, the story behind it is that i sort of suddenly learned i wouldn't always be as sick as i was, that i didn't have to rush anything, and that i could produce thistle and spade in chronological order with a bit of patience. that left me with no smaller project to draw and release in the mean time, except, see, i really like this game, call of duty. i was still on bed rest when i started domesticated, and with a ton of physical therapy i've been able to draw longer and longer hours. it's trained me up to be a better comic artist than i ever was before. it's grown into a sturdier project at the same pace. it's so unlike thistle and spade, whose chapters were written and edited over years and planned to every gesture and expression. i'm just winging it with domesticated, i'm usually rewriting massive swaths of dialogue as i sketch the scenes out, i just keep throwing out ideas until it's something i'm excited to draw and present as my imaginary "what happened outside of the games" day dream land. it's reminded me what i love so much about story telling and comics. it's made me excited to see thistle and spade go live again down the road. but first i have to rebuild its website too TTuTT
all right i'll see everyone pretty soon! thanks for hanging around as usual!
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humblefryingpan · 4 months ago
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The "Amy likes spiders" poem in doki doki literature club (Natsuki's second poem) just makes me think of being closeted with internalized homophobia and I think it works really well for her
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There's the poem if you haven't seen it!
(This is just me analyzing the poem and it's probably my longest post yet. I've been overanalyzing all the poems but this is the only one I've typed out atm lol)
It specifically makes me think of four things - Yuri liking different things and her disliking her for it, Natsuki being so far in the closet that she'll take any excuse to avoid the pretty girl™, Natsuki's self projection onto "Amy" and most importantly internalized homophobia, like I said earlier
It generally makes me think natsuri but I'll get to that later. So if we go from the internalized homophobia + closeted perspective (more like raised homophobic and doesn't know she's gay but ykwim), it reads as "a girl I know is a lesbian and Im meant to hate her for it. She's pretty and she makes me feel things but I can't be friends with her because she's a lesbian"
'The narrator' (Natsuki) heard a rumor that a girl, "Amy" (the lesbian), apparently likes 'spiders' (girls) and is repulsed. And that's why she isn't friends with her.
"Amy" sings the narrator's favorite love song, her voice is cute and it's making her heart pound. But she still likes 'spiders', so she can't be her friend.
She hurts her leg and "Amy" helped her get to the nurse. She tried to avoid touching her because her hands might be gross due to touching 'spiders', so she still can't be her friend.
"Amy" is very popular, but "she probably talks about spiders" (being gay). "What if her friends start to like spiders too?" (This entire verse rlly speaks for itself)
The next verse is shortest and even more repetitive than the rest of the poem (to emphasize her point) "it doesn't matter if she has other hobbies, it doesn't matter is she keeps it private, it doesn't matter if it doesn't hurt anyone" because to the narrator - she can't be "Amy's" friend, no matter how bad she wants to, because she's always going to be a 'spider lover' (lesbian) and she won't be able to ignore that.
And then the final nail to seal shut the door to the closet - "it's gross, she's gross, the world is better off without spider lovers. And I'm gonna tell everyone" because she needs everyone to know she hates 'spider lovers' to make sure no one knows she is also one. It's so gross because she was taught it was and now she can't stop thinking it's gross, no matter how nice/pretty/kind "Amy" is.
Onto the natsuri part so if you don't like that ship feel free to skip the rest of this (if you're still here lol)
Yuri and Natsuki like such different things (creepy and complex vs cute and simple) and they reach the point where they've argued so much that Natsuki doesn't want to admit she doesn't dislike Yuri. Even if she likes her poems, she'd never tell her because she feels like she can't at this point.
Natsuki couldn't see past their differences for a while, when she finally does, she's too embarrassed to apologize and too uncomfortable to befriend her without apologizing.
Nearly every verse of the poem will talk about how great the girl is. How she has a cute voice, she helped her, she has lots of friends, she makes her heart pound. But every verse she will still come back to "but she likes spiders. That's why I'm not friends with her". It feels like her gradually warming up to Yuri but still reminding herself that she can't be her friend, they're too different, Yuri likes creepy things (Yuri probably does like spiders so that's a bit more literal but it's also that spiders seem to symbolise everything she likes that Natsuki doesn't) and she couldn't be friends with someone so different.
And lastly, Natsuki's self projection (this is what the meaning is said to be in-game), meaning "Amy" is Natsuki herself. Natsuki likes manga and her friends won't believe it counts as literature. Her manga is the spider in this interpretation, she doesn't want people to judge her based on what she likes. She's had to be so defensive about what she likes, she may even judge herself for liking it at this point. She doesn't want people to judge people by their interests.
I keep seeing people say that Amy is a real person but that's one of the only interpretations that makes no sense to me. Because Natsuki may be a bit judgemental but even she wouldn't make an entire poem about disliking her classmate's love of spiders. She said herself that anyone that agrees with the narrator in the poem is a bad person. It's far more likely that "Amy" is a made up idea, she's barely even shown as a person. She's seemingly meant to be symbolic of Natsuki's flaws and insecurities, whatever you perceive those insecurities to be.
Portraying Amy as an actual person kinda cheapens the poem, at least in my opinion, because she was talking about how people should be given a chance no matter what (or who) they like and if Amy was a person it wouldn't make sense
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shinesurge · 1 year ago
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Webcomic rings run by people within the community are cool and you should support them
I've been loudly struggling a little bit with corporate webcomic Stuff lately so I want to mention something positive to balance it out: webrings run by small groups of creators earnestly trying to support each other are slowly making a comeback and I for one am delighted.
If you weren't around for them in the before times, webrings were just some folks who hang out a lot who feature each other on their websites. That's literally it lmao. There's generally no money involved and it only really functions the way it's supposed to if people have control over their own websites AND genuinely want to participate and get excited about other folks' work, which means the practice has pretty well fallen by the wayside over the years in webcomic culture given. Everything. In the rare event someone decides to do something like this it's usually in the form of a link list somewhere on their website; this doesn't usually indicate any sort of mutual support, it's just a list of what the creator is reading themselves.
A webring, though, is an official banner or hub that people gather under intentionally where each member is more or less on equal footing. It's essentially the concept of "a rising tide lifts all boats" put into practice, each creator brings their own audience to the table in a passive, opt-in sort of way that's different from working for a publisher since there isn't necessarily a Top Spot or a paycheck everyone's vying for, and individuals retain autonomy over both their own work and how (if) they promote each other. You're all at your own tables in an artist alley rather than fighting over the table in the front of the book store, essentially.
I have two rings and one collective for you today!
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Webcomic Ring was brought to my attention AGES ago by Holly, one of the artists featured there, and I might have brought it up at some point but I'm doing it again lmao. This is exactly the kind of thing you ought to be looking for; a small group of enthusiastic folks having a good time making their weird little comics. You probably haven't heard of much in the catalog, that's PERFECT in the context of webcomics that's where the GOOD SHIT is. Finding something like this is A Gift go dig around in the longboxes for a while.
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Then a few people have pointed me in the direction of the KNIFEBEETLE collective and that's neat too! Most of the comics there are already fairly well-known, but the vibes are excellent and I haven't seen a lot of talk about the collective /itself/ outside folks already in the know. I think it's important for this sort of thing to be more visible to folks who aren't terminally steeped in webcomic culture already so here I am telling you about it. You were probably reading several of these before I suggested it, but that's how a webring works! For it to do its job you should take those bigger creators' tacit recommendation of the less popular titles as a sign to go read something new and strange. Wild, I know these are practices held over from the old internet, but I think we should try and bring them back.
Lastly, I want to mention Spiderforest, which is a collective (slightly different from a webring) BUT still a very cool project readers starved for new stuff should pay attention to.
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You've probably seen Spiderforest kicking around for a long time already; they're wonderful and have always been an overall positive force in the community in my experience. They really focus on building up a community, and especially welcoming newcomers and helping them get their feet under them. Full disclosure, I've been asked to apply by a few different folks over the years and the only reason I never did is I don't have the ability to participate in their forums and such as frequently as they want their creators to; it's a very good system (from my outside perspective) that might contribute to the community staying mostly healthy in ways that art communities usually don't and I appreciate it a lot!
ANYWAYS that's all I got for now, just trying to balance out some bad feelings I've been having by talking about some good stuff. Please go binge an archive this week.
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spiders-around · 1 year ago
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YOU MUST MAKE A WEBSITE
Oh wow, look at that! YET ANOTHER post urging you to make a webbed site! What a completely new thing that people haven't made a thousand masterposts for already!!
• Making a website might look scary. It is Not.
At first, I too thought making a website was too much work. It really isn't! It turns out that all you need is
an HTML file,
a web hosting service and
w3schools tutorials,
and that's about it!
This post will point you towards these resources, and others I found useful while figuring out how to make a website.
• VERY QUICK EXPLANATIONS:
What's HTML and CSS?
HTML is the content of your webpage, the skeleton of it. What shows up in a webpage is what's written in the HTML file!
CSS is the way the HTML is styled; the colour of the background and the letters, the size of elements, the font, all that!
Do I absolutely NEED JavaScript for a website?
Not at all! You don't need to worry about learning it before getting started.
• What do I make a website for? What do I put in there?
ANYTHING AND ALMOST EVERYTHING. Here's some ideas for pages from a post of mine were I was very normal about websites:
You can make a page that's only pictures of your pets.
You can make an interactive adventure.
You can make your own academic blog full of your own essays or articles.
You can just post a ton of art or make a full music page.
You can make a blog and infodump eternally, give book reccs and reviews. You can host a thousand virtual pets and nothing else.
Upload entire books in a single html file. Make a wikipedia for your ocs. Make a fake site for a random fictional place (restaurant, hotel, whatever). You can make a thousand fanpages/shrines about your favorite media. You can upload your own webcomic and make it all like a fancy website and shit.
I could keep going but, for the sake of "brevity", I won't.
• WEBSITE EXAMPLES!
If I started listing the websites I know, this post would be bottomless. Here's only seven:
https://publictransit.neocities.org/ - A webbed site, for sure
https://ribo.zone/ - A personal site
https://leusyth.neocities.org/ - An art archive
https://solaria.neocities.org/ - Personal website with A Lot of stuff (it'll come up in a bit, because it offers web making resources)
https://hog.neocities.org/ - The Hogsite
https://thegardenofmadeline.neocities.org/ - Another personal site! It also has a web resources page and has made another masterpost like this one (but better)
https://spiders.neocities.org/ - My own website, which must be weird to see in mobile . sorry
• You've convinced me. I want a webbed site. Where do I start?
https://neocities.org/
FIRST OF ALL: Neocities. It is a free web hosting service, and it's the one I and the sites I linked use!
When I first started, my website was a black page with red letters and a drawing, and nothing else! It was like that for a month, till i started picking up on how to do things.
Here's what helped me get an idea of how to make things work:
https://sadgrl.online/learn/articles/beginners-guide-neocities
An absolute beginners guide to neocities -- while when you make an account there you get a tutorial page from the site, this one's extra support for that.
https://www.w3schools.com/
Learn HTML, CSS, JavaScript and MANY other coding things for free. All the tutorial/reference pages have live testing windows for you to mess with!! helped me a LOT while figuring this stuff out!
https://htmlcheatsheet.com/
https://htmlcheatsheet.com/css/
Cheatsheets for HTML and CSS, respectively. It includes a JavaScript one too!
https://sadgrl.online/webmastery/
Sadgrl's webmastery resources! Also includes the next resource listed here:
https://sadgrl.online/projects/layout-builder/
Sadgrl's layout builder; not a lot of customization at a first glance, but I've seen wildly different websites all using it as a base, plus it works using CSS Flexbox, so it generates a responsive layout!
(basically, a responsive layout is one that translates well in different sized screens)
https://www.tumblr.com/fysa/728086939730919424/wikitable-code?source=share
Tumblr user fysa made this layout imitating a wiki page!
https://brackets.io/
At some point, you might want to do things outside the Neocities code editor and get one outside the site. I recommend Brackets, because my old as fuck computer can run that and absolutely nothing else apparently, and it works wonderfully! Though I recommend either turning off the code autocomplete or using it after a good while of already using the Neocities code editor, so you get used to coding on your own.
http://www.unit-conversion.info/texttools/text-to-html/
Turn your text into HTML code! i use this kind of pages for my lengthy blog entries that I don't feel like formatting myself.
https://imagecompressor.com/
COMPRESS YOUR IMAGES.
The heavier an image is, the more your site weighs and the more time your page will spend loading. You don't want that, specially if your site is heavy on graphics. This might help!
https://solaria.neocities.org/guides
Some CSS, JavaScript and Accessibility guides! Worth checking out!
https://eloquentjavascript.net/
This is a free, interactive book for learning JavaScript! NOTE: It is very intuitive, but JavaScript is HARD!! I still haven't learned much of it, and my website does fine without so don't worry if you end up not doing much with it. It's still useful + the exercises are fun.
And now, accessories!
• Silly stuff for your page :]
https://gifypet.neocities.org/
Make a virtual pet, copy the code and paste it in your HTML file! You'll get a little guy in your webbed site :]
https://www.wikplayer.com/
Music player for your website!
http://www.mf2fm.com/rv/
JavaScript silly effects for your site :]
https://blinkies.neocities.org/geoblinkies
Blinkie search engine!
https://www.cbox.ws/
Add a chatbox to your site!!
https://momg.neocities.org/
Infinite gallery of gifs. i've spent hours in there looking at moving pictures and out of them all, the ONLY gif i actually ended up using on my site was a rotating tomato slice. it is still there. trapped.
https://wrender.neocities.org/tarotinstructions
A widget that gives you a random tarot card!
https://www.websudoku.com/widget.php
Sudoku widget!
That's about it for now! I don't know how to end this!!! Remember to have fun and google everything you don't know :]
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honoura · 5 months ago
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Shaaloani: The Land of Enchantment Part Two
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Hello again! First of all thank you so much for your responses to these posts -- I've really enjoyed reading your reblogs. I'm glad folks are enjoying this!
As I mentioned in the first post -- here is the second half! It's covers the plants and animals I thought worth special distinction. By that I mean animals that communicate how much research was done regarding this zone. So no rroneek, no uxtena. It's pretty clear they are both meant to be buffalo and rattlesnakes.
And if you're somebody who hadn't caught that, um... surprise! That's what they're based on.
If you're somehow getting this post without reading or seeing Part One first, here is a link to Part One. I'd recommend giving it a read first.
With that taken care of, let's pick up where we left off before!
Shaaloani Flora
Aside from the cacti, there are a lot of plants I recognize as native to the regions discussed in Part One! First is this scrubby, short and wide tree. It took a few screenshots and a lot of scrutiny. I was torn for a bit thinking it was a creosote bush, but upon zooming in close I'm of the mind it's a redberry juniper tree instead!
The leaves are long and thing, and the shape gives to mind of juniper needles more. Juniper 'leaves' kind of scale over each other and between texture resolution and my horrible eye sight I can't tell if this does the same. Still! There's a photo below my two screenshots for further emphasis:
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These are also the trees turned red near the ceruleum fields -- junipers tend to do that when they are dying. They are also incredibly hardy so typically when you've managed to kill one it's likely not good.
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I will say when I was out here I noticed the botanist gathering log has mesquite beans on it -- and you harvest them from these trees! Which is too silly for me; so here's a link to the the wiki about honey mesquite, and a photo of the beans on a tree.
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It's probably a reach to try and ID this grass in the Yawtanane Grasslands, but given that it caught my eye I felt inclined to make a pitch. For context child me thought a fun and engaging after school club project was to learn how to identify grass and other plants native to Texas. So when I looked at it I wanted to take a guess based on other regional clues:
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To me I think it could be cane bluestem, a grass that's drought tolerant and popular for grazing animals. And its seeds are dispersed from these little fluffy heads like this.
I will say as a caveat that a lot of grass in this area can be dispersed by wind. So it might not be cane bluestem -- hell it's a stretch to even try this. But I like to think they also considered the grass.
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The bush above I also hmmed and hrmmed about for a bit before positing if it was meant to be black persimmon. It's commonly called Texas persimmon or Mexican persimmon -- and it's found in Coahuila, Tamaulipas and Neuvo León. They generally just look like big shrubs instead of trees.
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I mentioned this in part one, but I'll go ahead and reiterate here a few things:
One is I think Lake Taori's about the only place that reads as specifically Texas
Two is it's not a bayou. That's an East Texas ecosystem and way too wet for Shaaloani
Three is there are cypress trees west of San Antonio growing along the Frio river, and doing quite well! Garner State Park has quite a few of them
I stand by this because these trees are show to be reproducing by making 'knees' -- offshoots from their root system. Think of it like Pando.
I also feel cypress is correct; the trunks are wider at the base than higher up, and the leaves are the right shape. I also appreciate there's Spanish moss hanging from them, which is also pretty common.
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The last plant I want to cover is this flowering bush -- I'm going to admit this one was a struggle because I don't know of a lot of bushes with large white flowers like this. I've seen flowers of this shape, but most tend to be ground cover plants that grow very low to the soil.
What I think it might be, which would feel appropriate, is a take on the datura. They can get a bit higher off the ground than most wildflowers. And they were used by several native tribes for cultural practices.
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The flowers are bigger in real life than depicted here -- so this is a reach! If someone has a better suggestion I'm open to it.
Shaaloani Fauna
When Fate farming out here, I've seen several players comment like 'huh, there sure are a lot of dinosaurs on this map'. And you're right! Because a lot of this region is home to some incredibly rich fossil formations.
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Big Bend National Park contains part of the Javelina Formation -- home to large creatures such as the Quetzalcoatlus, a pterosaur that boasted a 39 foot wingspan. You can read about fossils found in Big Bend here. The Javelina Formation has its own wiki article that details some of the specimens found within it, including the Bravoceratops and the Torosaurus. The Ojo Alamo Formation in New Mexico is home to the Ojoceratops. Just south of these is the Aguja Formation in the Mexican states of Coahuila and Chihuahua. These formations are home to fossils of all three types of scalekin above -- as well as alligators, who are also on this map!
Other Formations in the Southwest home to great fossil finds are:
Kayenta Formation (Colorado & Utah)
Tepetate Formation (Mexico)
Black Peaks Formation (Texas)
There's even a fun sightseeing lore blurb which acknowledges this!
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I think this is a fun addition to the zone that strengthens the real world inspiration sources and have fun with world building -- a lot of the formations near the Permian Basin were along the shore or under the waves of the Permian Sea!
And that's all I have! Thank you all for indulging me, and by all means take any and all of this to do with what you will in roleplay. Have fun with it!
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mohntilyet · 1 month ago
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literally cannot remember if this is already a post you made but do u think about if illario was a companion character and lucanis wasnt (maybe still rescued from the ossuary, maybe not). would he even be a viable companion character. etc.
i think i've mentioned it in tags but god yeah i've been thinking about companion illario. through bias and visions i think he could have made a really great companion!!!! i just don’t think we had enough who lie to/betray you in veilguard and i was like illario would love to do this <3 or at least TRY to do this and find that he can’t, because the betrayal-according-to-approval mechanic would return in this concept. this assumes a lot of things that i consider to be canon, including that illario’s a genuinely good assassin (YMMV on this i think. i look upon him with rose tinted glasses) but we’re introduced to illario as the second-best option who accompanied lucanis on various mage-killing quests.
he’s recruited in minrathous and not treviso because he’s been killing venatori like a man crazed. i forget who made the post but the one about how veilguard recruitment quests feel forced because you are recruiting, when stumbling on the right people could have felt more organic and a lot less formulated. he’s been operating in minrathous as the ‘demon of vyrantium’, which he admits to rook that he’s not the original. the original was lucanis, who was captured and killed by the venatori, and in his grief, has been trying to kill the magister (zara) that killed his cousin. he’s actually very nice and fun for an assassin, but players get the feeling that the charm is practiced, and there are glimpses into the “something rotten” under the surface.
what the players also do not know is that his hatred for the venatori is definitely projecting his guilt, because even in this au, illario is the guy who originally betrayed his brother and his complexes (slash pos slash hot slash i often picture him on his knees) remain. anyways. plot breakdown under the cut because its so fucking long and please take with a grain of salt because this was workshopped on a call with fie, who ‘yes and’s everything i say, so it might not be the greatest plot ever. nor very coherent. however, this is my blog and i can say whatever i want
act one recruitment: hunting down and killing zara. there’s foreshadowing here or something where she definitely recognises him and the facial animation leans towards “betrayal”. like zara saying “you?” in a way that can be mistaken for fear, when it’s recognition and betrayal + illario killing her before she can reveal anything else. they find evidence that lucanis is still alive and you see how excited he is, but also very conflicted. illario finally returns to treviso, and you immediately see the favoritism when he informs caterina that lucanis could still be out there. caterina delights in the idea of her favorite weapon back in her possession, and illario swears to bring him back.
in between: there’s a venatori leak! the magisters send some back up to weisshaupt which makes things a lot harder for the veilguard (miniboss before ghil?), and it contributes to failing to strike at ghilanain. but who could it be? everyone is a bit wary of each other, and causes friction.
act two: the ossuary <3 inexplicably, illario has found where lucanis is. the veilguard fights their way in and out, escaping with lucanis and destroying the vial of blood. they also find out lucanis is possessed, and when they return to treviso, after the shock and relief leaves, there’s a gleam in caterina’s eyes. illario is moved up in line of succession because caterina can’t see an abomination becoming talon (canon not discussing that he’s fucking possessed pisses me off so bad btw), and she’s obviously envisioning a world where lucanis’ leash is passed onto the grandson she’d seen as lesser, but has recently proved himself better than she had previously judged. suddenly, illario has everything he’s ever wanted, but not in the way he’s wanted it. he’s never wanted to necessarily be greater than, and doesn’t want to lose him. illario is very uncomfortable about becoming a new caterina to lucanis, but can’t express himself or explain it because he’s deeply repressed and he’s trying to be happy because, isn’t this what he wants?
in between: illario’s acting super weird. a high approval illario is a lot more awkward and doesn’t seem to know what to say, which is a first for him. he’s obviously putting on a brave/pretty face on, and hesitates to say something— but finally just thanks rook for helping him get lucanis back. a low approval illario is actually much happier, smiling and laughing and delighted by the way things have gone, with rook/the player none the wiser about what’s happened. (kind of like… bull’s reaction to the chargers in the dreadnought quest being positive either way, but the repercussions come later)
if you are in a romance, a low approval illario will trigger a sex scene, a high approval illario does the dellamorte branded “lean in for a kiss but he can’t bring himself to actually follow through and leaves rook awkwardly”. the differences in reaction would ideally confuse and interest players :)
act three: hinges on approval rating. illario plotted to trade rook’s life for lucanis’. the venatori at weisshaupt was supposed to be their shot to kill them, but failed to do so, and now they’re forcing him to make good on his deal. there’s a cutscene where the party is led into a trap and a high ranking venatori magister— the one who actually experimented on lucanis (because zara is like a middle man. she wants the blood but isn’t the evil mage scientist who did all the experiments)— shows himself and reveals everything illario has done. he was the one behind lucanis’ initial ‘death’. how the venatori leak was him. illario is desperately trying to keep the venatori’s mouth shut, but the magister is tricking him with magic as he tries harder and harder to keep his cover. a fun, trippy kind of sequence where there are illusions and mindfucky magic as illario stabs at the magister and finds out he’s attacking air, and the party keeps getting attacked with magic that they can’t figure out is real or not until it hits them, in this hall of mirrors type freakshow. it splits into two different paths:
low approval: the deal to save lucanis over rook was made early on, and nothing they have done has made illario think differently. he’s scripted to be more defensive and try to stop the magister from speaking, ignoring the party and thinking only about how he can keep his secrets but failing to. he’s angry that his plans have fallen down around him, and attacks both the party and venatori, determined to keep his failures from reaching anyone else (god forbid it reach caterina). the party are forced to kill him when he turns on them, willing to work with the venatori to keep the power he has before it slips away from him again.
high approval: everything they have done has made illario think differently and he’s spent ages regretting and trying to find a way out of the deal (see: the distress he feels right after becoming first talon, interesting codexes, etc). he’s scripted to defend rook from magic, at cost to himself, physically protecting his friends/rook from the magister and getting in the way of spells. he admits what he’s done and pleads with them to help him, despite having no reason to trust him. after the party fights the magister off together, illario begs for forgiveness, explaining himself, how regret couldn’t make up for what he’s done but he’s still tried to change things, change himself. but how could you ignore the feeling that, as with everything else in his life, that this is another lie? you get the choice to trust him and forgive him, or kill him for betraying the veilguard. i think this can hit harder if he’s romanced and you forgive him. the image of him pleading literally on his knees is about to get me to black out, followed by a rook who gets down on the ground and lowers themselves to his level just to kiss him before pulling them both up onto their feet again…. its like a ‘i fear to stain your hands with blood’ moment <3
completed companion quest: faced with compassion that he’s basically never extended to anyone, illario is inspired. he admits this guilt to lucanis, wanting to make him talon and leave everything behind, and while lucanis initially is obviously both angry and distressed, he later seeks out illario by himself, and their reconciliation happens off screen. i’d love for rook to be there so i could this but i honestly do not think its their place like can we leave the dellamortes to do this by themselves. in private its just a very “you went through hell to get me back. i think i need to give you a chance” + a slow rebuilding of the trust they had. and also lucanis has not even gotten the same outside support system as illario has taken his place and i think it’s good to note that. well. illario is about the most positive his relationships get and the only other person he would potentially have is caterina, who is also a more intense and outwardly scheming in this au. so not to be like “lucanis has no choice” but he kinda has no choice LOL. the point is: lucanis decides to protect him, and says that this betrayal is something they have to keep secret together as long as it safeguards illario, which safeguards himself. like what would the crows think of 1) illario trying to usurp power using an outside source (infighting/betrayal is okay. bringing a third party into crow business is not), 2) illario losing the idgaf war and desperately bringing lucanis back, 3) lucanis being possessed, 4) lucanis forgiving illario despite it all because they’re so codependent they can’t even bring themselves to leave the other. house dellamorte so weak that they can’t snuff out the weakness in each other? oh fucking brother. they can’t let anyone know how dire this situation is, and need to present a united front. also the terrible fact that they love each other deeply remains. mentioned in banter probably? eg:
“So… what do the Crows think?” // “The Crows don’t know.” // “…What? But your brother, and you—“ // “Are keeping it to ourselves. We’ve discussed this. House Dellamorte can’t afford to look divided, not right now.” // “So, what, he just forgave you?! You’re moving on? From trying to kill him?” // “'Forgave' is such a strong word, but maybe someday, yes. And we’re not just family, we’re Antivan Crows. You should know by now that we’re odd like this.”
“Illario. How long do you think you can keep that secret?” // “Considering only us, Lucanis and I know about it, hopefully forever. He insists that no one else has to know. Or should I be afraid that you’re going to go tell on me?” // “No! It’s just… Lucanis doesn’t, I don’t know, want vengeance?” // “Ha! He is the vengeancey one. But no. No, he’s… between the two of us, he’s always been the good one.” // “Lucky you.”
i also picture a lot of post revelations blackwall type banters and maybe something like davrin going “I have to believe you can be better, that you’ve changed. Half the Wardens are like that.” and once again i have to grieve varric because if there’s anyone that would understand lying their ass off and having mixed feelings about their brother, IT’S HIM LOOLLL. i think harding would treat him quite harshly, and neve loses a lot of respect because why would you ever even think about working with the venatori. but there’s a recognition over how he’s changed for the better. i think bellara is the surprise sympathiser, with everything she feels about cyrian. (“For a second, listening to Anaris to be with my brother again was worth it. So… yeah. I get it.” // “You weren’t foolish enough to fall for it. I did.” // “But you’re fixing it, aren’t you?” // “I’m trying.” // “Cyrian tried too. And if I can still forgive him, I can forgive you too.” // “…Thank you.” )
i also think a serious talk about being talon happens, where lucanis doesn't think he should be talon (possessed so his self worth is at an all time low. and also he's always thought illario should be talon anyway) and asks illario to keep the title. which is... weird because suddenly illario realises he doesn't necessarily want to be talon anymore. sure he can, sure he finally has caterina's approval, but he's got a new chance in life and he's not sure he wants to spend his life running an organisation that doesn't even care about him, would betray him first chance they got and remind him of the way he used to be, or see who he is the way the veilguard/lucanis has. his bitterness towards caterina also trumps his envy of lucanis, and the idea of lucanis resenting him as much as he resents caterina is something he'd like to avoid, which is another reason he's uncomfortable with being expected to tug at the leash. indecisive, illario can't quite fully commit himself to the crows, but is nervous about what leaving them would mean.
endgame: he would take lucanis’ place as a magekiller in this ofc, so he’s the guy killing ghil, and (for now….) first talon leading the crows to fight in minrathous (illario: “one of us should probably say something. remind the crows in whose name this fight is to be fought. we are emotional beings after all, and rhetoric is the fuel that feeds the fire—“ viago: “maker’s sake just give your speech”) i’ve also implied romance throughout this ask while not discussing it properly (ask me about it later. i need time to think on the whole romance arc and beats i know it exists but i refuse to give out half baked illario thoughts.) and i think the endgame post-fade prison talk would be very sweet and so intensely genuine/sincere and illario’s half struggling with being this truthful but pushes through because he wants to say “i love you” and really mean it. almost losing rook has put his priorities in order, and rook is at the top of this order, which has made him reevaluate everything else in his life and realise, "i don't think i can live without you. please don't make me". it’s fun for me that lucanis’ romance is a first in many different ways, but for illario it would be the first time experiencing actual romantic feelings for someone that he’s not faking, so you can imagine the damage its wrecking on his crow-psyche. sometime here i think there’d also be a decision where he’d ask to leave the crows and be with rook, tho i also think if given the chance to develop he could actually find something he cares more about than being first talon. genuine affection might kill him, reciprocated affection would probably be the nail in that “fuck the crows actually i just found out i like life outside of treviso” coffin.
but this is kind of leaning towards “illario only leaves the crows if you romance him” which i don’t like the sound of. he should be able to do that without a romantic relationship. i think narratively the best way to end this arc is for illario to leave the crows after having found alternatives to what he believed his life should amount to (as i think lucanis should have in veilguard), but i also don’t exactly know how to end it. i do want house dellamorte to be defunct, like an ‘illario leaves, and so does lucanis’ thing, where even lucanis gets the chance to grow out of believing “death is his calling”. i also like the idea that illario, ever the extrovert, gets real friends and is like “LUCANIS. you gotta fucking experience this” LMFAO. i’m thinking maybe the companion you spend most time with illario in the party after his act 3 quest starts to suggest things, so neve being like “you made a pretty great demon of vyrantium. consider making venatori-killing your full time job, you were good at it, despite all the traitor stuff.” or taash going “you know, you wouldn’t be the first lord of fortune to make mind numbingly stupid mistakes. drop by sometime. you and isabela can bond over it.” and they’re half joking but it makes the cogs in illario’s mind turn where he’s like “whoa. i could just. stay with the people who like me!” and where he goes is mentioned in the epilogue. a romanced illario would potentially just join the faction rook is a part of, tho a de riva would probably be unique in choosing if they want to remain a crow.
HOWEVER. i honestly don’t know if this is in character. fie and i convinced ourselves it was but i’ve had some time to really chew on it and idk if he’d want to give his ambitions up?? if someone has managed to read on this far, feel free to suggest things if you like i am always stumped because i don’t actually want to crows to stop being an assassin house, and there’s ofc no way to really make them ‘softer’ without taking away the bite that makes them interesting to play with. but extricating the dellamorte cousins from this WHILE feeling true to dragon age writing is difficult lol. just let me think. i’ll be back with some results hopefully.
side note: if illario is killed, lucanis takes his place with some difficulty (spite getting in the way, and no relationship building as he would get in canon) especially because despite his incredibly complicated feelings about his cousin trying to kill him, all of his anger is directed at rook for actually killing him. it doesn’t matter if lucanis would/could have never forgiven him, or otherwise, rook has taken that chance of hashing it out with illario from him completely, and lucanis won’t forgive them for it.
anyways the potential endings and first talons:
lucanis defaults into first talon if illario is killed as the only remaining heir, and struggles in this role alone, though the fact he is an abomination helps keep the crows in control for a while #cycles #snakethateatsitsowntail #housedellamorteissocooked
illario can remain first talon if encouraged to stay during the endgame, or if romanced by a rook de riva that also chooses to stay with the crows. depending on how the crow missions were complete, his direction with the crows either hardens/softens the organisation.
teia becomes first talon if illario decides to leave the crows, and rook has made choices that lean towards ‘softening’ the crows, eg. sparing ivenci to humiliate him, helping the crow-venatori loves run away, being kind towards jacobus, etc. the crows gain a reputation for coercion and can once in a while be found targeting, killing or exposing corrupt officials.
viago becomes first talon if illario decides to leave the crows, and rook has made choices that lean towards ‘hardening’ the crows, eg. killing ivenci to humiliate him, turning in the crow-venatori lovers, being harsh with jacobus, etc. the crows gain a reputation for efficient, quick assassinations that tip the scales towards anyone who can pay for their services.
if missions were not complete, the antivan crows’ reputation falls as they get sloppier, unable to recover from their losses and struggling to keep ahold of their power. there’s a reshuffling of talons, but the crows are in such disarray that it takes a decade for them to recover and gain back the effeciency they used to be infamous for.
ANYWAYS. sorry for that it is actually getting away from me and i don’t know how much of this is clear and how much of it is just my wishful thinking. i think there’s enough good things here to publish as an answer tho i’m aware this plot is kind of dollar store zevran LOL. maybe the best way to describe it is that i’ve accidentally combined blackwall, bull, and zevran’s arcs into this. hope this is at least a bit compelling for you anon!!!!!
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taffywabbit · 2 years ago
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idk if i'm way off the mark on this, but the way some people are responding to that Guillermo del Toro interview about the decline of studio animation is a bit frustrating to me. specifically the bit where he talks about "emoji animation" and how everything is over-animated and pushed too far and things are rarely allowed to not be ultra-cartoony (y'know, because animation always needs to be marketable to children who are never trusted to have attention spans, right?). like, i think he's generally correct about it! but some folks are taking the wrong message away from that.
i've seen people going off about how "soulless" and "corporate" various recent examples are, and talking about these pieces of media as though they're the result of some kind of personal failing or lack of skill/range on the part of the animators, and it's just like. do people realize that's the only animation you're usually allowed to DO in the industry, unless you get incredibly lucky and land yourself on a project/studio that's unusually cool?
when i was in college for animation it was literally drilled into us nonstop that everything had to be pushed more, that exaggeration was not a guideline or a sometimes-treat but a hard rule that always had to be applied regardless of what was going on, because the viewer couldn't be trusted to pick up on subtlety and we sure as hell couldn't be trusted to convey it. you ever wonder why there's such a specific vibe to a lot of self-directed student films, particularly ones that are focused on character acting/interaction or deep emotions and introspection (especially when there's minimal/no dialogue)? it's because for a lot of young animators, they haven't had the freedom to experiment with realism and subtlety up to that point and they're likely not going to have it again for a while (or at all, unless their career path leads to higher positions where they might have more creative direction over the things they work on. which also becomes a lot less likely if they're anything other than a cishet white dude, for what it's worth).
i would LOVE to see more nuanced, realistic, understated motion and acting in animation. i WANT more characters to be able to express what they're feeling through natural body language and facial cues and for scenes to allow me to breathe instead of spelling everything out in giant bold flashing text all the time. what del Toro wants to see changed in the animation industry sounds great, and i hope others join him in seeking to revamp what modern animation is allowed to be.
but as things currently stand, and as they've stood for a long while now, most artists doing the grunt work on the shows and movies you see are completely at the mercy of corporations and networks who have a vested interest in producing a very specific kind of marketable and cost-efficient media all the time. (and by extension that style is ALSO what's taught in most animation schools, because their job more than anything is to grind you down into a perfect little sweatshop worker who will bend over backwards to meet quotas and get your work approved and not question the higher-ups, even if you have little to no personal investment in the projects you're working on, so that the studios who employ you can maintain their good reputations or whatever)
anyways idk what my point was here, this really just sorta became a rant and my views have undoubtedly been coloured by my own personal experiences (this kinda shit is largely why i dropped out before my last year of animation school, for the record).
i guess just be kind to folks in the animation industry? they've had it fucking rough nonstop for well over a century (the majority of them are still not unionized and there's HUGE pushback against doing so in many places). i assure you they are doing their best to infuse the latest uninspired illumination flick or weird spinoff kids' show with literally any amount of soul they can. you don't have to like the stuff that gets produced by any means! be a hater! i'm certainly not gonna stop you. just remember where these creative decisions come from and why these conditions exist, and consider that when YOU watched something and thought "hmm that could've been done better", you can bet your ass someone actually working on it probably thought the same thing but couldn't do anything about it. these things WILL change as the industry itself improves, but in the meantime folks have to pay their rent, and that usually means doing what they're told and working in a way that will minimize revisions and meet quotas so they can keep their jobs. it sucks, but it is what it is.
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kingmaxstatic · 6 months ago
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In Defense Of Lanolin, A Post About Perspective, Flaws and Development. (Part 1: The Incidents)
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Hey there everyone! It's time for another ✨Max Opinion Moment✨. Out of all of the IDW characters I think Lanolin is the character I've seen get the most hate. I'm not just talking about "I dislike this character" I'm talking I've seen posts where people act like Lanolin killed their family sort of hate.
Today I plan on defending Lanolin as a character! Talking about the main panels that caused this hatred and why I think she's... actually justified in her actions!
DISCLAIMER! This post is not meant to say "You can't DISLIKE Lanolin!". You're allowed to have your opinions of the character!
with all of that out of the way, let's talk sheep! Buckle up! Because this is a long one! (So long I might have to make a part 2)
Case #1: The Paddle Ball Incident
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One of the earliest examples (comic timeline wise) was this set of panels! I've seen people actually seethe over these panels. Now I want to explain why I, personally, understand why she's taken the paddle away from her!
Lanolin is talking about important stuff here! Tangle is ACTIVELY interrupting the conversation by playing with the paddle ball in her face. Also, as an autistic person, I personally know how distracting those noises can be!
People also seem to forget that Lanolin, a few pages earlier, looks EXHAUSTED. That is not the face of a sheep that's well rested. Of course she's going to be irritable!
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You'd be a bit of a bitch too if you were trying to talk about important stuff and someone was cutting off the conversation by fiddling with something really loud in your face! It's like if you were trying to present a school project you worked all night on and someone started playing a really loud video next to you.
Does this make Tangle a bad person? Of course not! She's energetic and gets bored easily (trust me girl, I get it.) but Lanolin isn't bad for being upset.
Case 2: The Duo Incident
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THIS is the main reason a lot of people hate Lanolin as a character. Though in the timeline it's the second panel people will point to as justification for wanting this fictional sheep dead. This is the part of the post where I talk a LOT about perspective and justification.
Get ready for a LOTTTT of panel posting to add context.
SO Let's discuss the main perspective we see, Silver and Whisper's
Silver and Whisper know something is up with Duo, hell Whisper hits the nail right on the head when she instantly assumes Duo to be Mimic! This all happens after Mimic sneakily kicks Silver and Whisper notices.
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Another event this happens is when Mimic basically leaves Silver for dead and what does he say after Lanolin asks him where silver is?
"I'm sorry I couldn't save him... the teeth... so big."
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From LANOLIN'S PERSPECTIVE, Duo is the new guy, inexperienced and doesn't know how to deal with badniks and this one was HUGE. So from HER pov Duo did his best to save Silver and just simply couldn't. Of course she doesn't know that Duo is Mimic.
So what do Whisper and Silver do after they assume there's a traitor amongst them?
"We're Going Hunting."
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Silver and Whisper don't first contact Lanolin or the others, they jump INSTANTLY to murder. The next panel we sees Silver and Whisper in in this arc is them camping in a bush, ready to shoot this Mimic.
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Once again, I need to emphasize, they DID NOT discuss this with Tangle or Lanolin. They jumped to murder. This is a rash choice on both of their ends.
I also want to point out that Lanolin acted a lil playful and friendly... before she saw Whisper coming out of the bushes with her wispon.
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It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize what Whisper is implying here. She wants to kill someone. Justified? Yes, Mimic is a horrible person who seems to only know one word, betray. But from Lanolin's perspective Duo is a newbie who's only crime was being inexperienced. She does not know Duo is Mimic.
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She even asks "The Shape-Shifter? That's a big accusation. Do you have any proof?" She isn't saying "Whisper, this guy clearly isn't mimic." She's saying "If you have proof he's mimic, show it instead of shooting this person I assume is innocent.".
and Whisper responds "We will soon."
Whisper then walks forward and proceeds to grab Lanolin's arm and move it, if you have a keen eye, you'll notice it was the arm Lanolin was using to protect Duo.
A teammate is walking towards your other seemingly innocent teammate, accusing them of being someone from their past. They're carrying a loaded weapon and move you out of the way. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what would happen next. Someone is going to get shot, someone is going to get killed.
So what do you do?
You knock the person down.
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What Lanolin does here is knock Whisper over before she does anything and attempts to reason why her. Before whisper then KICKS her legs, trying to knock her over. Thus starts a fight. I'm not gonna post the full panel because we already got the idea.
But afterwards Jewel asks "Hey let me get this straight, you tried to attack this dude based on an assumption"
And Silver is like "Yeah shit guess I was"
THEN Lanolin steps in like "Hey until you can like. think before you act you should stay away from us, kay?"
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OKAY SO, TO EMPHASIZE THIS A THIRD TIME. Silver and Whisper decided to try and kill this guy before discussing with their team. Silver is a powerhouse and a well known powerhouse at that. "Yadda Yadda great power, great responsibility." and all that.
People act like Lanolin is banning Silver from ever being in the diamond cutters ever. But she's saying "FOR NOW you can't be one of us.". Until is a word that changes a LOT here. She's also saying "That's my vote." implying she wants the others' input.
Hell this is even more emphasized when Jewel says Tangle has a say in this! Lanolin is saying "Hey, I think Silver shouldn't be around until he grows more, what do you guys think?".
I do think Lanolin has flaws here, she should've tried to give whisper a bit more benefit of the doubt here, but Whisper shouldn't of ALSO jumped to murder. They're BOTH in the wrong here.
PHEW THAT WAS A LONG ONE.
Case #3: The X-Treme Gear Incident
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This is the latest Lanolin panel that I've seen spark debate about her! Let's talk about the Diamond Cutters' roles in this arc!
They're referees! They're even called "The Restoration Refs" in issue 70! Basically, people who oversee the race to make sure everyone is playing fair and safe.
She's not doing this because she hates Sonic (okay maybe she has beef with Sonic), Amy and Tails. She's doing this because it was an active threat to everybody else and themselves!
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Hell I want to point out that in the first panel of this case, she's pointing at Sonic. Who she has witnessed first hand clearly having a disregard to the rules and safety.
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This then proceeded to almost get one of her teammates hurt.
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So Lanolin calling Sonic a "Hazard" Isn't too far off. Do I think Lanolin is being harsh here? Yeah. Hell even the comic points out she's being harsh after the first panel of this case.
People act like she swiveled around to Tails and went "You suck as an inventor" and spit on him. She's calling the gear "faulty" and "hazards". Shes literally doing her job. I need to emphasize this. Is she being rude? Yes. But she's blunt and it's apart of her character. Tangle is gonna be naive, Whisper's gonna be distant, Lanolin is gonna be blunt.
Bonus Case: The Shattered Glass Incident.
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Okay so this isn't one that I've seen people hate on Lanolin for but I... have seen the Anti-Lanolin squad be weird over this panel. Being all like "HA!! Not as perfect as she thought!" and "She's finally facing the consequences of her actions!!"
What actions?
Ah yes! Stopping Sonic from endangering more racers!
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Lanolin broke the glass, yes. She acted quickly, yes. This wasn't her scheming and being like "Heehee!! Time to put all these people in danger for some reason!!"
Let's call it what it is.
A Mistake.
Something people are allowed to make, something Lanolin is allowed to make. This isn't some sort of "her getting what's coming to her" it's her realizing she fucked up. Let her make mistakes and let them BE mistakes!
But yeah, if you've read this all the way through, thank you! I had a lot of fun making this (despite how exhausted I am of the lanolin hate train). Hopefully I'll actually make that part 2! Because that would be more so me talking about Lanolin's flaws, her role, and her backstory! Things I like to discuss (I do not like being a hater).
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transmutationisms · 5 days ago
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i admittedly don't know much about lynch or his work; would love to hear more of your thoughts irt your last post
i've written more on lynch (mostly twin peaks) in my twin peaks tag but to be very general, i think that many people who talk about his work, and i'm very much including a lot of professional writers and critics here, fundamentally misunderstand the way he uses symbolic visual language and write him off as basically making beautiful nonsense when in truth, his work generally does have very overt and deliberate meanings and arguments to it, only you do have to actually parse the role that his signs & symbols play structurally in the formation of a narrative. again being reductive and simplistic, but: most people would have a great deal more confidence interpreting lynch if they thought of him as working in a german expressionist tradition, rather than what i usually hear described as 'surrealism'—by which they really mean to denote a kind of vulgar nihilist / absurdist stance that reduces all symbols to nonsense and thus obviates the need to actually read them.
to take an example that really annoys me, i don't know if you've seen inland empire (would recommend!) but i can't tell you how many times i've seen people dismiss the giant rabbit-headed sitcom bits as "surreal", "absurdist", or just "lynchian" (this means nothing in this context). if the visual symbols of the film are supposed to tell us what environment laura dern's character is in, and are supposed to correspond 1:1 to that environment, then the sitcom bits make no sense. on the other hand, what i would propose is that lynch typically projects his characters' psychological needs, wants, and anguishes outward onto the environments they occupy, rather than configuring the environment as a thing-in-itself that impresses upon the characters. inland empire is a film about the creative (including but not limited to artistic) process. what, then, can we surmise about laura dern (im sorry i saw this film thrice & don't remember the characters' names) from the intrusion of a sitcom into her increasingly dizzying, borderline dissociative work as an apparently precariously respectable actor? analogously to the way lynch brings the formal elements of a soap opera to his idyllic PNW small town in twin peaks, the sitcom format in inland empire introduces an altered logic into a story form that we might otherwise expect to read and follow in very different ways. the rabbits that laura dern sees are not random imagery denoting generic insanity; they are deliberately chosen pieces that tell us what she fears in taking on this artistic project, and how her vision of herself and her work must articulate along the sort of formal demarcation that differentiates a hollywood production from a children's television show from a verite documentary and so forth. the rabbit sitcom is supposed to be destabilising, but not because it's random or nonsensical.
i of course wouldn't reduce lynch's entire artistic outlook to only one mode of engagement or symbology, but broadly i do think that failing to parse his expressionistic use of symbolism is at the root of a lot of responses to his work (both positive & negative) that fail to actually say anything or derive any meaning. this is how people miss the extremely glaring reaganisms of twin peaks or blue velvet, for example. these symbols are not hidden, nor are they random. the association of the demon bob with the us bombing of hiroshima and nagasaki is a visually asserted statement about evil as lynch understands it. the factory landscapes in eraserhead (here the german-expressionist influence is quite overt) don't just represent the encroachment of a modernist (derogatory) environment into the dad's family life; they are also framed & shot & dressed to be a reflection of how he perceives his work, his social reproduction via his son, and the broader social context in which he lives. again i don't mean to reduce lynch's filmmaking ethos to one single aesthetic method lol—but, this is certainly a huge constitutive element of a lot of what he did, and it matters to me both because (again there is more on this in the link above) his work is profoundly, obviously conservative in ways that a shocking number of people miss or deny—and because, despite that, i get a lot of enjoyment from his technical skill and craft as a filmmaker, specifically including the way that he uses visual language & symbols as richly articulated projections of his characters and their various trials & tribulations.
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wings-of-ink · 6 months ago
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Future IFs Poll
So, in case you have not seen me post about it before, I am considering a project to do on the side while I work on God-Cursed. This will help me take breaks from my main work and stretch my creativity muscles with different characters and settings. I'd like a bit of feedback from what readers are more interested in from the best ideas I can potentially pull from right now. Feel free to vote, comment, or even send an ask if you want to be anonymous.
Over the last year or so, I have jotted down many basic plots I could expound on, but only a few have really stuck out to me as ones I could really expand in a meaningful way.
So, a couple housekeeping things to keep in mind. Whatever ends up getting written, it will have a modern-day setting. The fantasy playground is fun, but I really want a more real-world setting for this one. I am also debating about all ROs being gender-selectable. Since this side piece is supposed to be a little oasis for me too, not having each RO as customizable would ease the work that goes into it, and it might actually mean I can have more than just a few options for you as well. I am also considering a middle ground and having one or two characters customizable still while the others will be set.
Below I have given some details on the ideas I'm working with and further down is a poll that you can vote for the one that calls out to you the most. I have 2 ideas so far that are standouts among the others, but I've included 4 in the poll that I can work with. The winner isn't guaranteed to be what I end up writing, but I am very strongly going to consider the results while I decide. I like all these ideas and they sound fun to write - so none of this telling me to write what I want - I already want to do them all, lol (looking at you @elegantunknownphantom). There are caveats to each one, of course, and I'll explain that in the details.
Options:
Serial-killer crime drama:  "Daddy was a Killer" (title sounds like it came from a Lifetime original movie, but I really like it)
No doting daddies here, readers. Play as the traumatized child of a serial killer with repressed memories of the horrible things they witnessed daddy do. Get accused of a murder you didn't commit (probably), and try to catch your darling dad while dealing with the psychological devastation of all the horrors you've seen before he can kill again (and again, and again). Discover where your daddy disappeared to all those years ago, and what really happened to your mom.
Downsides:  I have a decent grasp of the plot on this one, but it would require a good deal of research (which I tend to do anyway to an extent), since I'd like a fairly realistic feel to the actual crime-solving stuff. Either that, or I can go the "rogue detective" route and play it fast and loose. This work would be in a wheelhouse I've never quite been in before, which is fun on one hand but nerve-wracking on another.
RO ideas include:
A smarmy detective (of course!)
A neighbor concerned for your well-being (mostly because you scream in your sleep)
And the child of one of your daddy's victims.
Supernatural mystery:  "Shivers" (title up for adjustment, but I kinda dig it)
Play as an MC with a bizarre anxious tic - an intense and chilling shiver that you get seemingly out of nowhere. It only lasts a couple seconds and you've dealt with it since childhood, so it's easily dismissed. That is, until you experience a sudden surge in occurrences. Your doctor writes it off as stress from dealing with the erratic behavior of your mother. But after a near-death experience, during which this mysterious tic guides you to safety, you know there is more to it than stress. With the help of your best friend(s) and a shady medium, find out what has attached itself to you and what seeks to claim you, discover who your real father is, and embrace or deny your own strengths as a medium.
Downsides:  I feel like there's a lot of supernatural IFs already, some of which are already similar to this or have similar aspects. This one probably won't have the drama/emotional potential that some of the others do, which may be a boon to some readers as it would be a little lighter.
RO ideas include:
the best friend(s) (potentially 2 besties to choose from - twins)
a (mostly) fake spiritual medium
a brave EMT who came to your rescue
and something…otherworldly.
Gritty Drama:  no title  (more of a framework to build from)
This one would be completely riddled with warnings, and I kinda just see it as being a fun outlet for some angst, smut, unhinged shit, and violence. 👍
The ideas for this one didn't start around a firm plot, but around a setting/scenario stemming from one of my OCs. The vibe here is very much "sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll" and fits into the seedy nightclub/crime ring thing. It would be a playground of questionable characters and life-choices. You would choose the dire straits that put your MC in the employ of a dangerous kingpin. Perhaps MC owes a lot of money to someone, got into trouble with a rival faction, or was framed for a crime, etc.... You'd get to choose the MC's line of work under the organization - be it in drugs, entertainment (music/dance/alcohol/sex), or security. The issue that leads to your employ under a sex-peddling drug-trafficker will haunt you in your new life in the middle of a war between the rulers of the underground.
Downsides:  Not super fleshed-out plot wise, but I don't think it would be too hard to build on either. I may want to use this setting (or something like it) and my OC for a different project one of these days, but I'm unsure about that as well. And, the obvious, red flags and triggers everywhere for a setting like this.
RO ideas: 
One person from each potential "job" (the head of security, a chemist who seems too pure to be making hard drugs, a sex-worker, the clumsy bartender, a cute DJ)
A member of a rival faction
And for the brave and stupid - your boss - a clever and unhinged woman with an affinity for knives. And, no, she will never love you.
Futuristic:  no title (needs the most work)
Including this one to just get a feel for how it's received, but I anticipate that it won't get quite as much backing as the others. I have the character-creation concept in mind which lends itself to a plot, and a RO or two, but that's about it. I think I could do something fun with it, but I've also never written anything futuristic or scifi before. This would be akin to "Detroit: Become Human."
Though the setting would be futuristic, I am pretty sure I wouldn't want to do a dystopian thing. There's a lot of that out there already and we're basically living it IRL; it's a blast to read, but I want the main focus to be on something else if I do this. There would still be pockets of grittiness to the setting, because if we're talking humanity, there's gonna be grit somewhere. But this world would be more post-dystopian. Say, the rebels won and life has gotten better across the board for people? And though everyday life has a lot of tech enhancements, we haven't seen sentient machines - yet. That's where you come in.
The MC Concept is that they are an android - of course! One of the nice made-to-order kind that only the rich can afford. But what makes the MC unique is that while everyone else requests specific things about the androids they purchase - such as gender, looks and even downloadable personalities - an order comes in that's blank. It only requests that the android be allowed to choose who they are and how they look. "The Buyer" will pay for whatever personality, enhancements, or clothing they want - but the android must make the choices themselves.
As your MC goes through these initial choices, equipped only with a basic "education" software full of un-opinionated information about the world and how it works, something unusual begins to spark within them (not that they know how unusual it is yet).
RO ideas:
The Buyer–a gender-selectable person who sets your creation in motion. They're wealthy, well-respected, earnest, and incredibly lonely. Who are they really and why did they do this?
The Scientist–a hopefully trustworthy person that's very interested in your development
The Punk–someone who wants to give you the "real" human experience.
Make your selection below. Comment your thoughts and ideas as well if you like. This is set for a week and I will reblog here and there so it has a chance to reach as many of you who would like to vote as possible.
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