#Merlin's mental health

[dollopheadedmerlin]

Personally, I hate when people say that Merlin is king of the druids. Merlin isn't meant to be a king. He's meant to serve. Serve Arthur. Serve magic. Serve the earth beneath his feet and the waters falling from the skies. He gives and sacrifices and fuels the world around him.

King is objectively Arthur's role, and I think making Merlin a ruler of another people kind of dampens that. Merlin would not be king of the druids, he would be on his knees and beg and convince those with magic to follow his king. Even if Merlin is a god, he will always hold Arthur up high upon his shoulders. Worship him in my stead.

[longlivechips]

Arthur, King in Camelot: This is Merlin. He's kinda like my pet. I got him from the country so he doesn't really know how anything works but he's great for a laugh and if you need someone to commit light treason.

Merlin, The Embodiment of Magic: This is Arthur. He's kinda like my pet. He's a little well bred so hes prissy and a little particular BUT we've won Best In Show for Camelot's Crown five years running so

[awesomenikie]

Fun fact I’ve never seen the last episode of Merlin. Actually I only made it to season 5 episode 6 and decided to just not put myself through suffering. So I will never fully know what happened in those episodes and I’m okay with that. Arthur Pendragon is still alive and kicking in my world.

[yourfavecharacterisqueer]

[imagine-to-be-a-pike]

Leon knew he had failed. He did not fail as a knight. He failed as a friend. He failed as someone who swore to protect him.

He took a step towards the tent, a mixture of blood and sweat running down his forehead, reminding him of what he had just participated in. What Arthur had just participated in

Arthur. Barely 14 years old. Such an innocent and lovely soul. and now he stood in the middle of the tent and shook. The slightly too big armor (despite trying to adjust it) hung on his barely teenage body. The blood-covered armor. Not just the armor. That bright face, golden hair suddenly faded, flooded with a monstrous red.

He looked at him. He knew that look, he remembered it perfectly. Betrayal. He first saw it in the boy's eyes when his father first ordered the guards to take him to the dungeons. Leon swore then that he would never be the cause of that hurt, betrayed face.

He didn't even dodge the piece of armor thrown at him. If it hurt, he deserved it. How ironic the blond's words from a few hours ago sounded now

,,I can't wait to become a real knight like you"

A real knight should protect people. Not mercilessly murder them. Not what Leon just did. not what Arthur was just forced to see. "What a monster he must think I am now" Leon thought. He had seen Arthur's looks during the execution he was forced to watch and they were nothing compared to the horrified looks of those blue eyes as the horror unfolded around him. He saw the mouth open in a silent scream of terror, maybe both, as he swung his sword at the child.

It's funny how a person you thought was perfect can, in a matter of minutes, turn into the worst monster in your eyes.

He wanted to explain himself, apologize, say anything. He was ready to scream, cry, throw things. But the blond just stood there with shaking hands, rubbing his arms as if he was trying to scratch the blood away along with the skin.

,,why didn't you ever tell me?"

Good question.He knew what happened during raids. It wasn't his first time. But he was afraid. He knew how Arthur idealized him. He knew how much boy needed someone to be a role model, someone to give him some approval. But Leon was also a coward. He didn't want to lose someone he practically saw as a little brother. He didn't want to lose his little sun that shone even after the worst training.

He remembered his panic when Arthur, encouraged, told him he was going on another raid. Panic at the truth. Panic that this sweet soul would face a horror that a child shouldn't be exposed to. His prince was overjoyed but the road to the camp was a slow countdown for Leon.

,,These were innocent people... children... women... and all of you....just"

Arthur's eyes were wet, tears mixing with the dirt on his cheeks.

,, Arthur .."

,,leave me"

There was something new in these blue eyes. Not just hurt and betrayal. Coldness. Coldness that Leon saw in one person. The person Arthur should never be reminded of. And he left. And if only he knew that was the last time he would address his prince by his name.

[bagmanunlucky]

tw/cw: past psychiatric hospitalization/suicidal ideation (but make it silly!!)

"AO3? the thing that killed my best friend??"

best friend in question: my will to live when i was in a psych ward while HALFWAY through @katherynefromphilly’s masterpiece “And Like the Cycle of the Year We Begin Again.”)

bright side that came out of this was being able to cry over fictional gays as loud as i wanted because, legally, no one could stop me (also padded rooms were limited iykyk).

Uther is American's trying to get healthcare. Gaius is Big Pharma. Off screen somewhere I'm Merlin, counting ceiling tiles like they held the secrets of the Once and Future King.

[von-rosewald]

fun fact: television actually peaked with the release of bbc merlin (2008), with the medium seeing steady decline thereafter, none able to surpass its brilliance

[jourquet]

according to my psychologist, she told me to continue writing, as it can further my treatment much faster. she also approves of me writing dark fic too. though, i'll still keep away from certain books of mine since the trauma feels too close. but either way, i can still write KARMA, Prince Arthur And The Sorrows Of Death, and Butterfly Effect (original romance).

[radioactive-cloud]

tiktok keeps putting merthur edits on my fyp and it's making me emotional

[sirleonthelongsuffering]

only my (bbc) arthur pendragon fans completely understand why wille is behaving like that this season . there's so many layers to it and they are one and the same

[paradisemisplaced56]

Never thought I’d be as blown away as I am by ‘Takin over the Asylum’

For a show to be so raw and honest in its depictions of mental illness whilst perpetuating a narrative of kindness and love is rare. Stunning performances, brilliant writing, and a soundtrack rivalling the best coming of age media to date.

This show is a treasure and deserves to be less niche than it is.

[damagedward]

ኗዐዐዕ ቻዐዪ ሃዐሁ

( ᴳᵒᵈ ᴵ ᵂⁱˢʰ ᵀʰᵃᵗ ᴵ ᶜᵒᵘˡᵈ ᴰᵒ ᵀʰᵃᵗ )

A storyline based solo featuring @merlin-emrys-wyllt

⚠️ 𝖳𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗀𝖾𝗋 𝖶𝖺𝗋𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀 ⚠️

In case I missed any in tags this does involve unfaithfulness , unplanned child and similar themes so do not read on if these things can hurt you - care for you first 💟

She was breaking , this was tearing her apart , to see him with with her , the one he had saved . Suddenly he hadn’t had time for her , only for this new woman in need . Perhaps she wasn’t broken enough anymore for him , perhaps she’d been a phase , now it was over and what ? Had she truly gone and handed herself to him on a platter for this ?

She blames herself more than him , but more than both of them she blamed this other woman . Freya .

Of course she had magic , of course she was reveling in all that she had now that she had him .

All the work , the effort they’d done , for him and herself . Well she hoped they enjoyed it .

He’s avoided her for sometime now but it seems today that ends as she hears a knock at her door .

“Enter .” She calls from her place on the bed . When she sees just who it is she cannot help but laugh , it’s a cold laugh , a bitter one .

“Erm .. m’lady .”

“Such formalities ,” she scoffs , “are we back to that ? Did we not once share a bed and so much more ?” She’s gritting her teeth trying desperately not to cry , to let her emotions win out .

“Morgana —,” she cuts him off then , she doesn’t let him try to fix this .

“No . No Merlin . It’s fine , you know what good for you , good for you finding someone worthy of your time and efforts . I should’ve known it was all lies ,” she finds she enjoys the way he winces and how he looks hurt , good because if he only knew , the secret she held , what she’d been going to tell him the day she’d walked in to find him lip locked with the other .

She can’t unsee it but what’s worse , what will truly be ingrained in her mind forever is the look he’d had . How his cheeks had flushed a bright red , how he hadn’t been able to meet her gaze , how he’d tried so hard to look sorry , to look hurt as if he hadn’t known what he was doing in the moment .

How he’d stumbled over his words in an attempt to tell her what it looked like as if that hadn’t been blatantly obvious .

She’d not even let him try , she’d cut him off , she’d told him she was happy he’d found someone worth his time . And she’d left them . Left that girl to comfort him . Left that girl to take what had been the only true happiness in her life . What could she do anyhow ? She couldn’t tell anyone , she’d be beheaded in the rolling of justice , especially if they found out this , the secret she now couldn’t tell besides their entire relationship .

She had holed up in her room , she’d thrown everyone into suspicion by that . Even her Father had come to check on her . Of all people .

And now she laid in bed , wrapped in her serving girls arms for some semblance of comfort .

“I think I shall take a leave ..” she mumbles .

The other woman quirks a brow , “My Lady ?” She clearly wasn’t certain what she meant . She runs fingers through long dark curls , holding her tightly around the waist . She hadn’t been able to comfort her friend in so long like this .

“I should leave Camelot , staying will only result in my death ,” she swallows thickly , she couldn’t stay . How would she ever explain this current predicament any how ?

“Morgana - you cannot mean that ? What could you possibly have done that would result in that ?” Gwen asks softly , no judgment in her tone .

“I will hope to tell you one day , but it’s definitely not safe for me to do here .”

And with that they both fall silent . Time passes and Gwen makes to her home to check in and rest .

Meanwhile the emerald eyed beauty finds herself swiping tears from her eyes , wiping them from her cheeks as she begins to pack a small satchel of essentials . Some coin , none in gold as she didn’t wish to be noticed for her money lest it would draw her unnecessary attention .

She throws on a cloak and hood up turns to look at her chambers one last time , the bed one last time , before she slips out silently .

Disappearing into the Darkling Woods and off into the night on the back of her steed from her youth . Her only friend from now on . Or so she tells herself that .

[a-ros-in-bloom]

From _____ to __________{insert your best ship}

I crave your touch, but will never ask for it.

I want to hear your voice, but can’t bring myself to pick up the phone.

Your smile brings light to my darkness, but I’m too scared to make you laugh.

My trauma makes me incapable of asking for your love, but not from wanting it. So until you hear my silent cries, I will continue to live in the small moments we share and slowly die in the ones we don’t.

[fandomfaeofveryfewf4cks]

"Little Talks" by Of Monsters and Men keeps popping up in my lists and it's not like I don't like the song, but it's the ONLY Of Monsters and Men song it will pull up on its own and it won't even pull up their other stuff when I look under where it shows me stuff related to that song. I like Of Monsters and Men, and I like that song, but c'mon.

It's probably just trying to protect my Merthur-shipping heart from "King and Lionheart" though, because that song does kind of fuck me up and that is a song I will listen to on repeat. So, I guess I can't blame it too much.

[clueless1995]

EVEN THOUGH all i wanted to do was get into bed and attempt to sleep i still got up and gave merlin his snacks and played with him for a while i should win person of the year i think

[dabingusbongus]

@birdfucker69

I'm just anxious which might surprise folks since I seem very talkative on here. That's cuz I'm pushing myself out of my comfort zone- real shit im like: **insert goofy scream sound effect**

Whenever I talk to new folks

WAIT BOOM RAVES- BROOO THAT SOUNDS SO COOL.......