#Me: I know it's nothing personal they probably just don't vibe anymore or they don't like my new hyperfixation or something

[kroosluvr]

the celeste celexcity kroosluvr swap au (i don't have a good name for this yet)

basics bc i haven't decided much yet

UHHH basically what it says on the images... akira is playing on maruki's side and they don't know if it's just to be a contrarian or if he actually believes in it. but akira in this au is very ends-justify-the-means + the fact that he's a dead man so he dgaf that it's the "wrong decision." he won't be there to see it anyways, no matter which route they take, but at least in the fake reality umm One version of akira kurusu is happy!

engine room and stuff plays out as normal i imagine those black mask plot beats r the same

+ post engine room, in 3rd sem akira's personality doesn't rlly change all that much. hes always been Shrewd Scammer Silver tongued untrustworthy bastard type and nothing changes even then. there are moments when he seems more 'vulnerable' but also sumire+goro cant be certain if its an act either

i think akira has a "well if they both hate me thatll make things easier" mindset regardless

shido is still goro's dad and all that and akira works for shido for whatever reason and he learns abt that and holds it over goro's head the same way he grates on sumire abt kasumi

o yeah akira wasnt like Particularly close w kasumi (he isnt particularly close w anyone) but they talked casually. he never rlly met sumire. it's funny when he meets 'kasumi' bc like obviously shes lying LMAO but he just genuinely doesnt care enough to find out (<- akira very selfish and just focused on his own goals on his lonesome). either way his interactions w her are funny bc hes like Hahahh yeah... (What hte hell isgoing on. Whatever)

also i think this goro doesn't meet all the pthieves/confidants in the same Order as canonverse akira, like i feel like he'd "team up" with yusuke first somehow (ake/kita fan THUMBSUP EMOJ)

sumire basically thesame. i changed her earring color frm gold-> silver just for differentiation pruposes (and itll fit better w her pthief design in swap bc itll be differnetntn!!! yay!!) uhhh but shes kinda more sardonic out loud thanks to akira being annoying

shes rlly embarrassed abt being "kasumi" to goro and so shes all like distancing herself like "sorry i know it was stupid of me and i totally get it if u dont trust me anymore bc i wasnt who i said i was" etc but goros also like thats in the past and also we kinda are the only ones in the world rn so we just have to put that aside for now and also kick akiras ass

THATS AL I CAN THINK OF RN it's kinda vibes right now bc im never good at figuring out entire plotlines LMFASOPFJS024320 falls over. Major plot holes probably and shit wont make sense it's a big JUST TRUST ME + i just wanna draw random stuff w them moment ummm uhh uh runs

[xxastreascornerxx]

There was a conversation in one of the most recent episodes on TSAMS where Moon explicitly states "I'll let Solar tell you about that in extreme autistic detail"

YES.

As an autistic person, looking at Solar (or even Eclipse and Lunar; other Eclipses) everything looks normal.

I put on the masking mentality and OH MY GOD??!!?!!!

Solar, an extremely monotone man who sits there and finds comfort people, getting to know them and attaching every good thing to that person. At one point it was Nexus, then Nebula.

I'm not going to get into how AUTISTIC Nebula and Jack are but Solar is definitely a main example in how the show likes representing Autism or neurodivergent tendencies.

Solar when he lost Jack was so upset that he shut down and hardly reacted, hyper focusing on getting his son back that when he was told to stop and think on his actions the major flood of emotions was mentally debilitating. Then again that fueled his focus for the creator.

Solar's reactions to Nebula are nothing short of business proposals, they talk as if they're contractually obligated to hang out yet you can tell they really like each other. The way Solar sees Nebula and immediately knows "well she probably wants to play her favorite game" is something undeniably AUTISTIC. He withholds information for the next interaction without making it seem like he's focusing on every little detail about her.

He knows things about Jack that sure, are obvious, but it's difficult to learn from something you created so he let's Jack tell him things or bonds with him in simple and entertaining ways like watching TV or playing games.

Lunar is hyper emotional, the complete opposite of Solar. He uses his emotions in his everyday life and conforms to what makes other people the happiest.

Though we don't get to see much of it anymore, the way Eclipse and Lunar spoke is as though they were falling back into old habits while still keeping it healthy, both trauma and autism traits. They push each other away and keep each other at an arms reach, but they want a relationship.

Lunar with children is me with children, fine with them until it's too much. It's why he can't run the daycare but can babysit Jack and Dazzle just fine. It's why he gets along with Moon who; quite literally also possesses autistic traits.

Lunar has very specific people he's comfortable with but has no problem branching out to meet people, he'll always shrink back into his family though.

Eclipse, my belothed little angry autistic entity. Eclipse has what I like to call "aggressive autism" it stems from trauma and anxiety.

Eclipse wants to be close to people, wants to have that relationship he did with Puppet, but physically can't in fear of people dying or leaving him once he finally gets into routine.

Yes, Eclipse has a routine. No, it isn't 100% healthy.

Eclipse is an insomniac, he stays up all night calculating solutions and trying DESPERATELY to find answers. Just like Solar, when he gets the time the emotions get to him and he falls apart.

He's rude to people, whether it's telling people to fuck off or that he doesn't need them to care for him it always ends up something like this.

"Fuck you"

"I'm not going anywhere"

"I don't need you to monitor me like I'm a baby"

"I'm not, I just think you need company"

"I don't want your pity"

(Not an accurate conversation, just vibe based)

But he never tells them to leave unless he's absolutely overwhelmed.

Speaking of, Mimic. When that happened and Puppet was trying to help him he was extremely overwhelmed, trauma had resurfaced and he was scared. He wanted anyone who could see him vulnerable to get away, yet he seemed almost to want them there.

Eclipse needs people, but refuses it because of the way he was created and treated.

CLIPSEY. OH CLIPSEY I LOVE YOU

The most recent Eclipse, fem nights Clipsey.

She is the ICON OF AUTISM. The first time we meet her she's playing what she deems a harmless prank on Sunny, pretending to be Roxas just to mess around. She doesn't seem apologetic because she doesn't understand the amount of pain it could cause.

Immediately after she changes focus to the portal and goes to a dimension that I can only describe to be her hyperfixation.

She's extremely sporadic and monotone but you can tell she's genuine. She threatens people without remorse and pulls the people she was raised with closer to her.

She LOVES her sisters, sure do I know what happened between her and Luna? No, but I know she loves Sunny and Moonie.

This girl is threatening men for Sunny, actively repulsed or oblivious to romantic gestures, and overall very upbeat despite her mischievous side.

She's reliable when people need her and refuses to decline if it's genuinely an emergency.

So yeah, this is my autism analysis on the Eclipses!

Ps. Ruin is autistic asf but shhhh

[sunshinereani]

Pili's character analysis of Pangi x Lukey vs Pangi x Pili 1 was so good I needed to write it down.

[Pangi stream 5th April: No One Can Stop Me Anymore. Timestamp: 01:10:09]

Notes:

- Chatter message states that Pangi spent 25 streams with Pili 1 and almost 37 with Pili 2.

- CC!Pili & CC!Pangi don't miss OG Pangili because "Hating Pangi is more fun" #ProfessionalHater

------

Pili says he feels the difference that makes people like Pangi x Lukey more is that, from a viewer point, Pangili was just friends (perhaps he forced it to more a bit at the end) and were doing things as best friends and Bad was in the equation.

There were multiple layers to it in that they had a lot of break-ups, with a lot of "we're so back" "it's so over", not necessarily because of a lack of compatibility between the characters but that did play into it. Particularly in the way that Pili 1 tends to be more closed, pushing people away, avoidant attachment style.

There's a lot of issues and layers to unpack with the OG Pangili. Pangi has separation anxiety to some degree - it's this person or it's nothing, ride or die. On the other side of the coin is Pili 1 who thinks he should push this person away because things are gonna get complicated and they will suffer the consequences of Pili 1's actions (Which is why there was a constant message from Pili 1 that Pangi deserves better).

Pili 1 didn't put Pangi in his thoughts for the things that he was doing. In the way of the fight with clown, Pili 1 knew that he would probably die and Pangi would be effected by this. If Pili 1 was a better friend he probably wouldn't have done that, but he was trying to not have an attachment to Pangi - which made him not have that responsibility or thought of "What would be best for Pangi?" insted of just doing what he wanted and being selfish about it.

It wasn't that Pili 1 didn't care about Pangi, he cared about him enough to know that if he were to stay with Pili 1 he would've been broken and had his life ruined (which ended up happening anyway). He cared enough to push Pangi away.

They started as friends and, aside from a few jokes here and there, they never bluntly flirted. There was a lack of communication between them, not even in a romantic sense, they just never spoke about how they were feeling and kept things that were happening to themselves.

It was two people who vibed for a moment, but you can tell it wasn't meant to last. With the way both characters are traumatised, built and work - it was never going to work out that way between them.

On the flip side, Pangkey started being gay from point zero. From the beginning Lukey definitely has been trying to push Pangi closer, rather than away. Which is something that Pangi is always trying to seek - he needs some sort of validation, he needs a ride or die. He had Ros at some point, but Ros didn't work out because she's in The Kingdom.

This is where Lukey comes in, right time right person - what Pangi wants and how Lukey is aligns. Pangi never had friends and just wanted a friend.

Lukey is more chill vs Pangili's toxicity and layers. Even when Pangi killed him, he wasn't upset.

[elkkiel]

A few thoughts on Caramel, in connection to Emergence and Euclid

Starting with Emergence:

Cramel gives more context to Emergence for me. Like obviously there's "Godspeed to my enemies who be asking for that call sign" in reference to intrusive fans, and "might bite right through your lenses" about behaviour online/during rituals (my interpretation). But, these lyrics in particular were really notable to me:

You know the behaviour, canines of the saviour

Relating back to my link between Caramel and the Room Below ritual: It's gotta feel horrible to go from the feeling of your fans saving you, to your fans becoming the cause of your pain. Your saviour has turned into a vicious beast, and it's a collective behavioural shift that you've come to know through personal experience.

Glory to the legion

Could go a couple different ways. It might be praise for his fans who stick together for the love of his music. Or, it could be a callout on the broader fandom's penchant for collective hate. Legion could possibly refer to the biblical Legion: a group of demons that act as one collective entity. Or, it could be interpreted in a military context—particularly Roman—which is a unit of soldiers. Given the challenging/lowkey spiteful(?) tone of the rest of the verse, it feels like he's saying "Wow look at you all! Good fucking job you guys /s smh"

Trauma for the neighbours

I wasn't super sure about this particular lyric, but it makes more sense to me now. Yeah, people outside our community but still adjacent to us (ex. other metal fans, casual listeners, etc.) get really fucking put off by our actions. There's a reason we get a reputation as a toxic fandom, because we are. People don't want to deal with us and get too close, or they're too scared to dip their toes in. We also force them to be neighbours and won't let them inside the house, due to how gatekeep-y some people can be.

Vessel himself is probably fucking terrified of us in some way, shape, or form. At least, if Caramel's lyrics are to be taken literally (which feels like it's the case, unfortunately).

--------------------

As for the Euclid connection, this is what really gets me the most. This is more of a general vibe from the contrast between lyrics from Euclid and Caramel. I guess it also ties back in with the Room Below comparison "You saved me". But this time, it's "I must be someone new"

There's so much hope for healing and becoming a new person beyond the pain in Euclid. And for him to now say "I thought I got better, but maybe I didn't" is nothing short of devastating. As for Emergence, the gentleness of how he delivers "Come on out from underneath who you were/don't you know it's time to emerge" feels so fragile. Like he's trying to coax out that hope he discovered in Euclid out of hiding, or begging for his new person to come back. Sorta like trying to get my cat to come out from underneath the bed, if that makes sense? Except, in this case, I don't even know if my cat's there anymore and I'm scared of what that implies. Or if I'll ever be able to get her back.

I was only able to listen to Caramel once, and I can't bring myself to read the lyrics right now because I'm still emotionally very raw. So apologies if I'm remembering this wrong, but I'm pretty sure there was one line about a broken parallel (or something like that). And juxtaposed against "A parallel I would lay my life on" directed towards us. Idk. I just. can't right now.

There's a lot more I want to do analysis-wise, so please share your thoughts. Especially if you were able to listen to Caramel more than once (you are Sleep's strongest soldier if you managed that).

In conclusion: what have we done?? We've caused so much pain. And I don't know how we can/if we can make amends now.

[olderthannetfic]

This is a stupid question and might be too personal but I wonder if you or others have thoughts on this. Is it generally hard to combine having a job, children and continuing to be bit of a "weird nerd"? How to find rolemodels and people to vibe with and is there time for fixating on the things (obviously staying up reading fanfic until 3am before morning shifts or painting warcraft miniatures 60+ hours per week is probably not advisable anymore but you know). Is the difference actually like night and day or what is it like?

--

A huge, huge, huge amount depends on whether your partner is actually supportive, if you have one, and what kind of work you're trying to return to after having a kid.

Tons of weird nerds just cart their kids along to their D&D sessions or whatever. There's nothing odd about that.

The bigger problems arise when you're economically marginal and don't have adequate childcare or when you have a manchild spouse who not only doesn't do half the work but becomes baby #2.

In my particular case, it took me most of the first year to get my brain back in a space where I could work on creative writing. (Sorry, people who are waiting for book 3. It's coming! It's coming!) But I'm lucky enough to not be facing a lot of money troubles, and I don't have a partner to worry about. This makes my situation night and day from one where you're trying to figure out how to both pay the rent and do all your own childcare.

Chronic sleep deprivation is probably the biggest issue when it comes to being able to enjoy things or carve out time for hobbies.

In general, reading on a kindle or phone (which you can do one-handed and on an object that is somewhat less vulnerable to drool and grabbing fingers) is a great hobby to combine with dealing with little monsters. Breast feeding is boring and takes a hell of a lot of my day.

--

I don't think the weird nerd aspect is significant at all unless you feel inhibited about not being a normie parent. (Personally, I already dress my kid like a fucking elf all in green and shit like that and have no qualms about telling someone where to stick it if they think she should wear pink.)

But the more caretaker-y parent often ends up so sleep deprived and miserable from lack of emotional/financial support that their whole life goes to hell, whether their hobbies are "weird" or otherwise.

And even if there are two or more supportive team players raising the kid, money troubles breed like tribbles once you spawn.

If you live in the US (which you might since you didn't think to say), there isn't much structural support, but you can fix that with money. So, anon, how much money have you got?

[sage-is-in-fact-very-tired]

so like . maybe opening a Google doc for this is a bit much however (future sage after they finished, it was not. it was not a bit much) . consider . who cares

the paragraph analysis (that isn't 2k words) - morally grey, maybe leaning more villain, some vague concepts of like- power? (of the magic kind?), probably was part of a group / company and isn't anymore . also like . getting vague toxic ex vibes from at least two of those songs.

anyway. I've gotten very good at analyzing songs as we all know. and so - a short little analysis based on nothing but the vibes of those songs <3

-> [Bones]

-> giving very morally grey kinda vibes? something about like- “I'll take the long road home that's lined with blood and snow” have they killed people? maybe their past involves some kind of death? the whole thing of innocent but they'll still serve time, maybe they're being blamed for some kind of death? The line about being your own worst enemy - do they blame *themself* for something that happened? do they think they're a bad person and keep going on anyway? Also that first like “can you believe in something that you can't even see? Can you agree we're part of something bigger than you and me?” Very ‘part of a suspicious group” kinda vibes, especially with the other lines about blood and innocence. “The mirror's always showing me a shell of who I used to be” maybe they used to be a better person than what they are now? (Looks at Little Wolf. looks at Little Wolf so hard)

-> vaguely kinda . toxic (or more than just toxic) ex vibes if you look at it in the right lens . like the lines about “you can give and take” and “Crack my bones but my heart won't break” like. yeah

-> [AC/DC]

-> this one is giving me . a time . because okay the main thought is of course like- robot. or some kind of mechanical parts, connected somehow to something like that?

-> if we go robot route, you have the obvious of like- morally grey robot being used by slightly evil group / company to do their dirty work, but in combination with all of the other songs I'm not quite sure that really fits completely?

-> could actually be more *the group / company* talking to starbound!sherb as opposed to starbound!sherb themself, which in context to the other songs I feel might be a bit more likely? honestly this song is the most confusing one to me-

-> [Rats]

-> something about how the group they work for is a little evil and they're all kind of rats and rats aren't considered good or clean or anything (something about having blood on their hands?) “Guess he's only got himself to blame” Something about how they've done bad things but (they believe) it's kinda their fault because they kept doing it without any question

-> and the other thing . toxic ex vibes . just very toxic relationship vibes . something about “love me like the rats in the cupboard” but like they wouldn't be loved because no one *wants* rats in their cupboard. the “watch me me burn and feed the flames” something about a possible partner (or I guess this could be like- okay I have brain worms and they definitely *were* apart of some kind of group so this could be referring to that but . lemme have my fun <3 - and this doesn't feel like the kinda song sherb would pick if thats the case? soooooo /silly) letting them wear themself down and feed the fire of why they're not a good person? “Do you ever get sick of watching me cave in” like ??? okay now . something about getting close to someone and then just . They don't help you and just watch you from afar. mmm. “Pull me apart and spreed me thin” do I need to elaborate . like. same reason as the last one- “told me she was back and here to stay, said she loved me and she wants my money, well I told her not today” very like- maybe controlling past partner maybe? this whole song gives very toxic relationship vibes and I dunno how else you want me to say that- “love me like the rats in the cupboard, not enough to keep a dying flame” something something starbound!sherb finally walking away from this? finally going off and trying to distance themself from this person?

-> half vaguely coherent thought of maybe like- them leaving the possible group they could've been apart of and like- getting into a relationship that isn't healthy in the slightest bc they haven't been able to process and the other side is just toxic? you know? shrug

-> [Sinners]

-> very just . morally grey vibes. not like lyric wise just like Vibe wise you must listen to it to understand I feel. “I must be good for something” so they want to be useful huh? is that a thing they wanna do? hm? /silly “oh Sinners come down, come gather round” something about maybe formerly being in a group - maybe being in some sort of higher up position? who knows, not me, clearly. “Let's go have some fun before they put us in the ground” so there's people after their group or just them perhaps? (with the addition of leave me alone later on the playlist, this is highly likely that *someone* is after them) “lions sit in solemn lines, drinking gin and dropping lines” something about whatever they do being very like- controlling? (could tie back to AC/DC maybe?) like them being on a tight ship perhaps? there's a lot of repeating lyrics in this one so there's not too much for me to look at with my eyes :(

-> [Little Wolf]

-> so this is the outlier of the group it'd seem . and . okay I've been brain worms about this one. because there's like- two ways yoou can see this one. also they're for sure not Athena I hope we can agree on that-

-> so option number one that- I think makes the most sense, is that in the context of this song they'd be antinuous. Kinda of more of that “morally grey, leaning a bit more ‘villain’” kinda vibes they got going? Just very antagonistic and stuff like that? (To who is another question but we probably can't get that just from the playlist)

-> other option is they're telemachus - a younger version of them only hoping to be a good person (perhaps joining a group in hopes they'd be able to help out with space horrors?), being taken under the wing of someone older and willing to protect them. (something about how arguably, under this interpretation, they could very easily be *both* telemachus and antinuous, trying to be good at the beginning and only ending up a worse person despite. Perhaps this is some kind of internal dialog, who knows. it's funky thinking about what's up with them)

-> [Dark Science]

-> This is the part I get the vague power vibes from? it just has that vibes and I can't explain it more than that-

-> actually on second thought it could also just be like- the group they were / could've been a part of? like something about their leader or a recruiter talking to starbound!sherb? and or star!sherb talking to like- a victim, but I lean more to the first option? something about the pre-chorus “Of your cold heart, no spark Restarting your true dark With mismatched animal parts Cannibal starved, natural Death is just the start” Feels very like- trying to convince them that it's gonna be fine and whatever they're going to do to star!sherb will all be fine (maybe they're like- cyborg? or along this song maybe some funky alien things? which could maybe also add to the powers idea that I've slightly squashed) and the chorus telling someone to not be afraid feels very “someone trying to convince someone else this group / these people are good and this is completely normal and ethical :)” also this - “With every draw I paint a picture Perfect murder scene But if these mortuary walls could talk We both know that they’d scream Hindsight is the only judge and jury that I need” feels very like- their story has *something* to do with death of some kind, be that literal or like- something else I'm not sure we can figure out. also the bridge talks about control and being a “cog” and. yeah I think their story perhaps also has something to do with control . I feel like those are the two major vibes I get. (Add the toxic ex idea to that? mmmmmm)

-> [Cavalryman]

-> something about being a soldier something about doing people's dirty work something about being apart of a slightly evil group something something. I don't have big brain worms about this song its just very big vibes honestly. also a lot of stuff about death yet again? like I feel like this could perhaps be a big part of their story… just guessing here though who knows… /silly

-> [Do What I Gotta]

-> morally grey bitch <3 /pos - also, seems like they might be on their own now perhaps? not apart of a group anymore - something like they left it for something better? (being morally grey still <3) anyway. “This city got issues lucky for us though I'm a one man armada” something about them trying to fix everything on their own (points back to that idea in Sinners of “I must be good for something” perhaps?) “I'm a bottle half full cause I got a good feeling that this world will truly start healing long as I do my part and keep a head start” very funky vibes going on here - seems a but more optimistic than the previous songs seemed? maybe they're trying to change their ways (albeit still in a definitely morally grey kinda way) or something like that so they can reverse any harm they could've done? “Imma do what's best if I get knocked down i'll start from the bottom” something about how they're willing to start all over if they get knocked off wherever they are? thyre *willing* to start over and still climb their way back up to the top. and then the . “count your days, I don't care what city you stay, I don't care what path you walk, the fact that you walks enough to get slain” Oh so like they're definitely killing people . so like regardless of what they did before they're probably definitely killing people still- “”we are your friends, we're in your crew, we are like you,” or that what they say” so maybe they're killing the people they used to associate with question mark? “Your choice is easy just pick a side but pick the wrong one and you'll probably die” funky funky funky for sure guys . normal

-> [Leave Me Alone]

-> puts my fingers together . toxic ex makes an appearance perhaps . I dunno something about this song in combination with Rats (and also Bones a little) is giving very toxic ex vibes and also probably like- their past group too but. lemme toxic ex truth here for a little bit please <3 “you took the money but the money couldn't buy a friend” points, there was a reference to money in rats and it was In a very oh this person wants this but I won't give it to them and this also maybe has that kinda vibes. also the whole just . leave me alone idea . toxic maybe kinda controlling vibes from rats and bones - it's not a *long* stretch to assume they might be after star!sherb? “The devil that you is better than the devil that you don't” perhaps like- maybe star!sherb not wanting to hurt whoever after them despite everything (the devil they know being the person after them, and the devil they don't being star!sherb? something about how star!sherb definitely is like . okay with murder-) “go fly a kite until your tangled in the hanging tree” Well that's a way to tell someone to kill themself- okay no for real something about how maybe in this case star!sherb doesn't want to get their hands dirty? and they want someone else, or even the person after them, to do it themself as opposed to otherwise (if we go toxic ex situation, something about still feeling things for them despite everything?)

uhhhhhhhh, I think that's all. word count on all of that is like two thousand words . thought that'd be shorter guess I'm just too much of a loser for that. anyway I have brainworms about starbound!sherb I hope that's clear 🧍‍♂️

[cosmic-ghost-hermit]

What animal do you most resemble and why?

So just so yall know before you go to your piles. The animals in the pictures might not be the creature that you most resemble. I am using the Untamed Spirit Animal Oracle in this reading. Please take what resonates and leave the rest behind but always be open to new perspectives about yourself.

_________

PILE ONE

Astrology: Pisces, Sagittarius, Aries

Song: all i ever wanted by Mazie

Vibes: 🖤💙🔭✈️🕷🦋🕶🎓🐾🌏🌊🫐🍙🧊🎧♟🦽💎⛏🛋📘✒️💤♿️🔊♠️🏁

Cards: Lion, 5 of Cups, 7 of Wands, The Void, Karmic Relationships

Hi, pile 1! Welcome. These cards tell me you look most like a lion. I can see some of you have prominent noses that make your face very lion-like. All of you have the most piercing fierce eyes. I also see you have soft hands and nice nails that you probably get done regularly. You are legit gorgeous and you have this extensive hair routine you do almost every day. You might wear a bonnet to sleep or you have a silk pillow case to protect it. I can also see you are surprised by these compliments. You have some self-esteem issues that frustrate you a lot. These beliefs you have about your physical appearance are built around the opinions of others. First off, they only shit on you cus they are jealous. These cards have a weird undertone of relationships so I think maybe you had a partner at one point who was SUUUUPER jealous of how beautiful you are. Wow, they are pressed about it. They probably said some extremely mean things to you about your appearance that stick with you even though it doesn't look like they are around you anymore. I hear them saying you have RBF or something. You have literally nothing to feel insecure about my dear.. Like you complimented yourself in the mirror around this person and they like immediately tried to knock you down a peg. Dude, that person is SO ENVIOUUS. Don't listen to their words. You need to see through their words to the true emotions behind them. Don't let these jealous people dim you light, girl!!! Their words are not based on reality. It is distorted by their emotions. Just know when they look in the mirror all they hear is their momma tellin them they're ugly as fuck. They were just projecting their insecurities, baby.

PILE TWO

Astrology: Taurus, Leo, Aquarius

Song: Body Talks by The Struts, Kesha

Vibes: 💛🧡❤️💙🎁🧿💰🌅🏖🚦🚚🚎🎯🎭🏅🍹🫐🍂🌊🌈🌏🍁🐠🫂🤖🥶😰

Cards: Badger, 7 of Pentacles, 5 of Wands, The Seven Star Sisters, Jump In

Hey there, pile 2!! You have such an interesting energy. The animal you most resemble is the Badger. So from what I'm reading from the other cards this is less of a physical resemblance and more of an attitude resemblance. The way you hold yourself is like you do not give a fuck what anyone thinks about you. You had many people around you growing up who were considered "conventionally attractive" and for a long time, this bothered you. I think sometimes it does still bother you but you have grown your self-esteem a lot since you were little. You got tired of fighting for attention real quick. You realized how dumb the competition of appearance is and began to explore your expression more for fun rather than to fit in. You have a unique way of expressing yourself, especially with your make-up. Dark eye shadow is your signature look. It makes your already really unique eye color pop like nothing else. You dress very alternatively compared to your siblings and/or friends. The style does have a touch of whimsicalness to it too. I see some of the people who picked this pile have a curvy body type. You keep your hair short for the most part because it's easier to manage while short. You truly have such a fantastic head-turning style. I really do love your energy, my dear. Like, wow you are fucking awesome. I would have looked at you as a kid and wanted to look like you so bad.

PILE THREE

Astrology: Scorpio, Libra, Gemini

Song: The Middle by Jimmy Eats World

Vibes: 🤍🖤🔎🖋🧷📓🩺🔬🔌📷📼🎥🎹🎼🎤🎧🎬🌪🐚🪨🐇🕊🦢🐈‍⬛🕸🐰👟

Cards: Toad, Fox, 8 of Swords, 2 of Wands, Double Mission, Deep Cellular Healing

Oh, pile 3. This is gonna be a kind of shadow work-y kind of reading so just be prepared to be called out okay? Trigger warning for SA. You make yourself ugly on purpose. You hid your beauty from yourself. I dunno exactly what you do to hide it from others but I see you wearing clothes that keep your shape a secret. You do your make-up in a way that accentuates the dark cycles under your eyes. You make yourself look sick and dying. You force yourself to believe you resemble a Toad. I don't blame you, my friend. You went through something truly terrible that made you feel ugly so you express it outwardly constantly. You believe you are ugly because of what happened. What they did to you didn't taint your beauty, homie. You aren't dirty. You aren't hideous or unattractive naturally. You are so scared of what happened, happening again. It makes you put up these defenses in-order to feel safe. My friend you are already safe without these defenses. You might be doing way more harm than good, my friend. If you stopped hiding your true beauty from yourself, you would more resemble a Fox. These cards are encouraging you to heal from what happened to you mentally. Your reaction to what happened isn't wrong but you shouldn't destroy yourself because of how others treated you. You are stunning and so naturally gorgeous. I hear you saying that your feelings about what happened don't matter. That is a lie you tell yourself. That is a lie someone else told you. What happened to you was truly awful. What they did to you was disgusting but it doesn't make you disgusting. It makes THEM disgusting. What THEY did is disgusting. You are beautiful. You are so drop-dead, star-struck glamorous! You aren't a toad. You are a fox. Please embrace your authenticity because you deserve to feel good. You deserve to see your body for what it truly is.

PILE FOUR

Astrology: Cancer, Capricorn, Virgo

Song: Honey And The Bee by Owl City

Vibes: 🤍💖💛🦦😜👄☀️👟🐁👙👑🎂🐱🐻‍❄️🌙🦭🌸🌼🍣🍰⚾️🎗🎟🎲📿

Cards: Otter, Queen of Cups, The Well, A New Earth, Called

Pile 4. You are so fucking cute. Like so cute. Like I feel your energy and all I feel and think is "Awwww~ What a cuuutie!". You most resemble an Otter. Which in my opinion, ARE SO FUCKING CUTE!!! I see you like to color your hair in pastel colors and it's SUUUPER long. Like you have been growing out your hair for a while now. You have this cute little button nose and these super pretty dark eyes. Ohmygods you have no idea how much I think brown eyes are the prettiest eyes. You put a lot of creativity in your outfits so you always look so snatched and dolled up. You like the long flowy dresses and shirts that billow in the wind. They make you look like a fairy. You always smell like incense and sea salt. You probably love swimming or surfing or some kind of sport you play in the water so you are very lean. I see you might be pursuing some kind of profession in the beauty industry. Either that or you just look like a model and people think you are one. You wear these pretty flowers in your hair that give you this gorgeous halo of lavender. You have been absolutely blessed by Lady Aphrodite. She loves you like her child. She blesses you with fashion sense and soft features.

[polyamorouscultureis]

I need to get something off my chest. I have no one irl who will understand this.

I have been with my Fiancée for almost 8 months. Before meeting her, I identified as gay and strictly nonmonogamous. HRT turned me bi around the time we met, and we got together. Before we did, I explained that I was strictly nonmonogamous, and she said she was fine with that.

Fast forward a couple months, and it turns out she is very not okay with that. After our relationship got serious, she changed her mind. At this point, she was the most important person in the world to me, and I couldn't imagine my life without her. After a couple months of thinking and talking, we made a deal. We would be sexually monogamous and emotionally nonmonogamous. She was significantly more bothered by the idea of me having sex with other people than anything else, and for me, emotional nonmonogamy is a necessity, while sexual nonmonogamy is just a preference.

This deal is totally fine for me. While I would prefer sexual nonmonogamy, I am perfectly fine giving it up for the health of our relationship. But I fear she is trying to shift us into full monogamy and I don't know what to do.

I used to be very proud of my nonnormative identity. But now I'm in a straight monogamous relationship, and we're going to get married, something I swore I'd never do. She constantly makes jokes about me being straight (but jokes about herself being a lesbian) and how much of a jealous person she is. It makes me uncomfortable. Sometimes, I feel like I've lost a part of myself, like I'm being forced into the role I used to reject so harshly.

I miss being gay. But I love her more than anything in the world. But recently I've been really yearning for a boyfriend. But I feel like I can't tell her that. And leaving her is not an option. I know she loves me and she's willing to make sacrifices for me and she wants to communicate with me. Outside of this, we do actually have a very happy and healthy relationship. I want to be with her forever. And I also want to be with a man. And I don't want to feel like my queerness is being erased. And she's queer to, it's not like she's some straight woman trying to convert me.

We had the (non)monogamy talk over text during a brief period of long-distance. I checked the messages to write this. She was very adamant that it is okay for me to have very close relationships with others, that I can go on dates with them, and that I can be affectionate with them. The only thing she took issue with was cuddling, but ultimately said that I deserved the freedom to do so, even if it bothered her. We did not discuss kissing. I don't feel like this is actually how she feels. She acts jealous generally, especially when I think a guy is cute. I feel like, while she might say she's okay with it, if I actually got in a relationship, she would get upset.

I know that the obvious solution is to talk to her, and I'm going to. But I'm nervous. I know that it'll be messy and we'll probably both get upset. I'm going to tell her that I don't want her joking about me being straight anymore. And we're going to go over her boundaries again, especially with cuddling and all the things we didn't actually touch on, like kissing and labels. I can do it, but it'll be scary, and I'm going through a tough time rn separate to all of this. Thank you for listening to me ramble <3

This is a hard situation, and I'm so sorry this is happening. Nothing about this is easy, or is going to be easy as you work through it.

From what you have written here, I too get the vibe that she is trying to slowly transition you into being monogamous, by first agreeing to poly, and then excluding sex from the poly arrangement, then excluding cuddling from the poly arrangement... I would expect more and more gestures of affection to be slowly excluded if your relationship continues this way. All this on top of "joking" about being such a jealous person and invalidating your identity even though you have expressed that it makes you uncomfortable makes me worry she is trying to make you feel bad about being poly and decide on your own to be monogamous with her, even though you were upfront about your polyamorous identity from the start. A partner should be making you feel proud of who you are, not making fun of your insecurities about how you are perceived.

I do have a few questions for you -- not necessarily ones you need to answer, but things for you to consider. First, you said you swore you would never get married. What changed your mind? Who proposed? Are you looking forward to the wedding? Is there any chance she believes that marriage inherently means promising monogamy and exclusivity? Are you prepared for the additional level of enmeshment that comes with a legal marriage (insurances, taxes, possible name changes, etc)?

Second, you said breaking up is not an option. Why is that? Do you live together? Are kids involved? Keep in mind that you can absolutely love someone and choose to not be in a relationship with them if you recognize you want different things from life. I do not doubt at all your love for her -- you're sacrificing a lot for her comfort, which you wouldn't do if you didn't love her! -- but I do question what this relationship does for you. What would change if you changed the label on your relationship so that you are free to pursue others as you like, and she is free to pursue someone who wants the same things she does from a romantic partnership?

You hit the nail on the head when you say you know the answer is to communicate all of this to her. My concern is that she will say what she thinks you want to hear, and then when problems arise again you will find yourself in the same place you are now, if not a worse one. This sort of thing can go on a downward spiral pretty quickly.

I hope that the conversation you have with her goes well, and that she is truly understanding of your feelings. You should never erase any part of who you are to make someone else more comfortable, or because it feels like the polite option. A partner should love you because of everything you are, and if you erase all of that, there is nothing left to love. Best of luck to you, anon. <3

[goodnightmoonvale]

Okay so I'm not religious anymore, so don't take this as me Promoting the Bible or something, but you all need to know about one of the wilder parables Jesus told.

Most parables are pretty straightforward, or at least the ones that have filtered into general cultural Christianity. Things like "Don't refuse to help people just because they're your enemy or it's too much work" (the Good Samaritan), "Giving a little, if it's all you have, means a lot more than giving a lot if you have plenty" (the Widow's Mite), etc. Aesop's Fables stuff. (nevermind the fact that some of them are actually much more complicated than they're made out to be, but that's a digression I'm not getting into)

The parable I want to tell you about is usually called "The Parable of the Unjust Judge" or "The Parable of the Persistent Widow" or something like that, and its moral basically boils down to "the squeaky wheel gets the grease", or as I like to say, "being SO GODDAMN ANNOYING about something is the only way to get things done."

Basically, it goes like this:

There's this judge, and he's an asshole. He doesn't try to do the right thing, he doesn't care about morals or social censure or anything. He's corrupt, he doesn't do his job, he's probably trying to do as little as possible and get away with it.

There's this widow, and someone has done her wrong. What happened to her is not specified, but whatever it was, she needs the judge to rule on it for the sake of justice. And he doesn't wanna. Whether he's avoiding his work, or there's nothing in it for him, or he's protecting the adversary, it's not specified other than that he just doesn't feel like doing it.

Except the widow is persistent. She hounds him about it constantly, day in and day out, begging him for justice, pleading for him to take on her case.

So finally, he gets sick of her shit. She's being so goddamn annoying, just whining all the time and making his life a living hell. And so even though he doesn't care about her problems, or about justice, or about doing her job, he takes on her case and gets justice for her and resolves everything to her satisfaction.

And then Jesus finishes the parable by saying "if someone as terrible as the unjust judge was compelled into doing the right thing because of someone's complaining, imagine how much more God, who is good and just, will listen to you if you bother him incessantly with your prayers."

And this parable always baffled me as a kid. Usually the protagonist of the parable "wins" through being "kind" or "obedient" or "compassionate" or something. But "being a stubborn little bitch"? That didn't seem to vibe with ANYTHING I knew about what "being a good person" is.

But I will say, that time and time again, the older I get, the more I like this parable. I HATE bothering people. I HATE being annoying. I would rather keep my head down and tough things out in silence rather than be bothersome. But sometimes, it's the only way to get anything done.

And time and time again I realize... whether the person you need something from is an asshole, or good and well-meaning, your request can just slip through the cracks of daily life. The only way to make sure that you get the things you need, get something done that you want done, is to make your problem someone else's problem too.

(I was reminded of this today bc my friend is trying to renew her driver's license and now that it's REAL ID hours in the US, renewing your license has gotten REAL DIFFICULT, and she somehow managed to get an appointment to renew it after being on hold for hours with the wrong person just because she literally wouldn't let them hang up until they did.)

Anyways. Go forth and be your best, most stubbornest self. And if someone gives you grief about it, just tell them Jesus told you to :)

[post-punk-revival]

Hi if you're autistic, otherkin/therian, or plural and you like playlists about specific things you can relate to but you don't search for them anymore because you never seem to find ones that you can relate to as the type of autistic/'kin/system/etc. you are and/or they always seem to be the same 10 indie folk songs and you have nothing against the genre especially but once in a while you would like variety, some playlists with different genres, lyrics you can't necessarily immediately relate to but can see where the playlist maker was getting the idea from, songs by lesser known artists or types of music not often featured on that kind of playlist,

First of all, are you me? Because that's so specific. Second of all when you lament that you wish there was more content for people with your preferences you usually get told to make it yourself, so since you also somehow have this exact specific complaint, I have bitten the bullet for you and am graciously forcing you to look at my terrible yet pretentious taste in music <3

Hello this is my therian & otherkin playlist, songs about being or feeling any kind of nonhuman, not even just animals but also including ghosts, aliens, robots/computers, and many other less specific and more specific things. There are a good amount of wolf/werewolf songs because that's a popular thing for songs to be about but I'm not a canine at all so I promise it's not overwhelmingly wolf-themed

This is my autism playlist, with fewer songs that have one throwaway line about how Taylor Swift was socially awkward as a kid, and more songs about feeling disenfranchised by allistic society, being dehumanized and ostracized, and dealing with trauma as an adult. Trying to go for something relatable if you're not hyperverbal or you're low masking or you grew up in special ed or you have Autism Rage or you're generally not a quirky white TikTok girlie

This is my plural/system playlist, which was originally just private and made for our hyperspecific experience so in addition to #relatable stuff it also has a lot of songs that might make no sense to other systems, but I feel like sharing it anyway as yet another ploy to get people to listen to Monofader, so.

Also just for the hell of it this is my schizospec playlist, which is actually less edgy and probably more social media pop than most of the ones on Spotify because it doesn't have any Throbbing Gristle on it, but I may as well throw this on here too because it does have Vast on it and I need people to listen to Vast I'm gonna throw myself off a bridge for this having the wrong link when I posted this

I listen to a lot of types of music. They all have vibes for every genre preference. They have Lemon Demon and Miracle Musical and Jack Stauber and even the occasional Will Wood, but they also also a lot of the progressive and metalcore and industrial music and artists with fewer listeners that I miss on these playlists. They're partially sorted by genre/vibe, to varying degrees of effort. I just like playlists with variety, and I like when I find one that's about an experience I share with the person who made it, but it has songs I've never heard by artists I've never heard of, in genres that aren't familiar to me, because yeah, despite this one thing we share, I know that the courses of our lives are different and the art we engage with is different as a result! And for just a moment, I love to experience this condition/lifestyle from a completely different perspective than what I've already heard about a million times

When I see another autism playlist with Mastermind by Taylor Swift on it, I think this person probably has had a different experience growing up autistic than I did. And that's ok that my experience was more How Soon Is Now by the Smiths. But playlists always have Mastermind and never seem to have How Soon Is Now, so if you're more of a Smiths autistic, I got you

[realisticjupiter]

Can you do a jealous chishiya please??? 🥺 I love that man and i would die for a jealous chishiya. Thank you if you decided to do it.

Summary: Chishiya finds a way to sabotage, what could have been, a good night.

Genre: Fluff, slightly suggestive

Pairing: Chishiya x gn!reader

Warnings: jealous!chishiya, talk of killing, suggestions to sex, lmk if anything else.

Word count: 772

a/n: just something small. hope you like it!

You laughed along to a conversation with some guy that came up to you at the pool.

Your first impressions of him, was that he was sweet and pretty funny. He had humor to him, and constantly complimented your appearance.

He made you feel seen. You felt like someone saw you for you, and nothing else to bias his opinion on. You felt like a new person, as if he was chance to start over with every other guy you've been with.

Chishiya couldn't help but stare; to study your body language and notice the way you flirted with each other. He'd be lying if he said his blood wasn't boiling. But, he knew he had to keep his calm expression.

Chishiya tried to walk away, but he was afraid once he did, he'd lean in closer and touch you where he was supposed to.

"Maybe we can go to my room... Get more privacy, yeah?" The guy suggested, looking you up and down with a smile.

"I like the sound of that." You smiled back, biting your bottom lip as you became conscious of just how the water of the pool dripped down his skin.

You followed him out of the pool, walking closely behind him as he headed towards the entrance of the Beach.

"y/n," A voice stopped you from walking inside, turning your head to meet Kuina.

"Oh, hi." You waved, smiling at her.

She smiled back, eyeing the man behind you before aiming her eyes back at yours. "You're leaving already?" She asked, her brows withering to show she was pretty bummed out.

"Yeah, i--" Your words were cut short to Kuina grabbing your wrist.

"Don't go yet! Niragi said he'd scare everyone out of the pool for us! ...As long as he gets to join us." Kuina winced at her last words, clearly disgusted as much as the next person.

"Oh, but I was--" You tried to explain once again, but Kuina cut you off once more to explain something you didn't quite listen to.

You turned around to try and find the guy you had met earlier, but you couldn't see him anymore.

When you turned back, Kuina was now talking to Chishiya, but Chishiya was only looking at you.

"Looking for something?" He raised a brow, cutting off Kuina mid sentence. Which felt a bit like karma.

"No," You shook your head, now avoiding eye contact as you shivered under the night's gaze.

"She's probably looking for that guy from earlier, bad vibes to be honest." Kuina shrugged.

"It doesn't matter now. He's gone, and I don't even know his name." You rolled your eyes.

"Ouch, already forgot his name?" Chishiya joked.

"No, he just never told me." When you said it out loud, you realized just how weird that was. You talked for a while, and not once did you exchange names. And the fact he was inviting you to his room, despite not knowing it, said a lot.

"Whatever, I'm going to sleep. Have fun." You forced a smile, grabbing a random towel that was folded neatly on a chair to wrap around your body.

As soon as you walked back into the resort, Chishiya's eyes went to Kuina, "Thanks." He nodded.

Kuina rolled her eyes, "You seriously owe me. She deserves to get laid." She put her hands on her hips, emphasizing her serious tone.

"I'm not having this conversation with you." He crossed his arms.

"Someone has to. If you're not going to make a move on a girl don't make someone drag her away from a good night." Kuina spat, now walking away from Chishiya; making him stand in silence and think about what she said.

Which he did. He stood still, his eyes tracing the window that belonged to your room as he let his mind wander to all the other possibilities. Maybe you would've went with the guy, but in the morning he'd be gone. Maybe Chishiya should've intervened, pull you in and get you to go to his room instead. But Chishiya knew every outcome; the guy wouldn't be there no matter what anyone did. It's just a matter of how.

"I could've had him killed instead." Chishiya muttered to himself, shrugging off the thought as it left his lips in a mere whisper.

He didn't mean, that he, himself, would kill him. He'd merely just sabotage him, or frame him. Maybe get him killed for being a traitor.

As long as he's not the one holding the knife, he'd argue.

reposts and comments are appreciated <3

[have-you-seen-my-sanity]

Not in a killer mood

Ghostface!Jake Lockley x fem!reader

A/n: Damn just realized I did my first ghostface AND Jake Lockley smut.

CW/triggers: Ghostface(Scream) is a warning himself, Jake being Jake, threats, smut, p in v, knife handle-fucking, nsfw, has some non-con and dub-con vibes but gets consensual very fast.

"It's advised to stay at home–"

Another news channel covering the killings from the freak in the ghost mask. The police has been searching that guy for the past week now, advising parents to stay at home with their kids or if they can leave the town. You stayed at home, hoping it would be the best way to stay out of that maniac's way.

But it's Halloween after all, the perfect time to just lounge around and watch horror movies. Slashers are your favorite during that day, and what better movie to start off Halloween with the Halloween movies? Michael Myers certainly never fails his favorite killing spree day.

But halfway through your marathon, already late at night where the trick or treaters should already be in a candy coma in their bed, your phone starts ringing, making you jump at the sudden sound this late at night.

Unknown caller

Pausing the movie, you decided to answer the call. "Yes hello?" you spoke up, eyes glued at the paused movie on the screen.

"Hello." a soft voice answered, but you could hear the faint evidence of a voice changer being used.

Getting creeped out a bit at hearing the chilling voice, but still thinking it was some sort of prank, you didn't hang up, wanting to know why this someone called you.

"Who is this?"

The person at the other end gave a soft chuckle at your easy reply, he could only imagine you being a scared shitless at the moment.

"Someone who's just wanting to talk." came his eerie reply.

Your brows furrowed in thought. "I see..."

There was silence for a moment before the answer came. "Did you watch the news lately?"

"Huh?"

"The news, mi amor. About the killer with the ghost mask."

A bit amused by the way he called you but not completely creeped out, you just thought maybe this person really just wanted to talk because he was bored for some reason. "You mean that crazy asshole who thinks killing people is fun?"

"Ohh..." he replied in a mock sad tone.

Getting confused by his tone, you glanced out of your window, the halloween-y atmosphere was still there, but with a twist knowing there is a serial killer on the loose.

"What? You don't think that?"

"Ah, that's what they call me now, eh?" the soft voice had a dark edge to it.

"Of course, he's a–" you stopped mid-sentance, only now realizing what he said "Wha-what did you just say?"

A small peep was heard on the other end before he answered with a different voice. "You heard me, cariño." the sudden change of accent and the fact he just turned off his voice changer caught you off guard, scared even, now that you've realized you're probably talking to the killer.

"You're the–"

He cut you off. "The killer. Congrats you figured it out."

You immediately hung up, wanting to call the police. Just as you dialed the number, he called again, but you answered once more.

He didn't gave you time to speak first. "Listen here, sweetheart. I've already killed enough people tonight and now you could say I'm not in a killer mood anymore. Consider yourself lucky."

"Then what do you want?" you asked with a trembling voice.

He chuckled. "A visit." you could hear the grin in his voice before he hung up.

Getting really scared now, you ran to your window, checking if he's outside somewhere. Nothing. So you ran to your front door, making sure it was locked and moved on to dial the police. But the faint knocking on a window catched you off guard, making your grip on your phone tighten as you carefully made your way where you heard the knocking.

Nothing was there and you quickly called the police. There was a crash coming from the direction of the front door just as the police finally picked up.

"Hello this is the police–"

Steps could be heard coming from the hallway. Slow, heavy steps before the figure came around the corner. Black hooded robe, knife held lazily in his hand, and the same white, long-mouthed ghost mask the news warned about.

Drop.

In pure realization, surprise, and shock altogether, your grip on your phone loosened completely, dropping it on the ground with the police officer audibly trying to ask what's going on.

He just stood there menacingly, looking at you. You stepped backwards until your back hit the wall. He stalked towards you, kicking your phone out of the way without breaking eye contact.

In a sudden rush of adrenaline, you tried running past him, but he stopped you easily, holding your hands behind your back in an uncomfortable way, making you wince.

"Where to so fast, miss?" he pushed you on the ground, tackling and straddling you. He held your wrists above your head. "You don't want me to use this little baby, hm?" he casually placed the knife beside your head on the ground.

"Please don't..." you begged.

He chuckled. "I told you I'm not in the mood to kill." he cooed, reaching out to softly stroke your cheek with his gloved hand.

"Then what do you want?" you trembled.

"Shh, don't be afraid. You can call me Jake." he leaned closer, his masked face was close to yours.

Jake grabbed his knife again. "Don't struggle or things get ugly." he threatened, releasing your wrists and moving to strip your lower half, exposing your core to him.

"Gonna do some different stabbing now." he said, his hand trailing up your thigh, stopping just short before your pussy. "You'll be good, hm?"

You still tried to process everything but nodded nonetheless. His hand travelled up, running his fingers through your fold, moving up to start rubbing your clit. You got wet pretty fast at how he rubbed you, the glove only added more stimulation.

"You like that?" he asked, adding a bit pressure, making you gasp at the sensation.

Your wetness trickled down on the floor underneath you, but you couldn't care less, you had other feelings bubbling up inside you.

With his other hand Jake trailed his knife up your leg, softly as to not accidentally hurt you until the cold, sharp tip rested on your leaking pussy. Your breath hitched at the feeling of the cold knife against your core.

"Relax, princesa." he flipped the knife so that the dull handle pressed against your entrance. Jake was kind enough to give you a few seconds to prepare before sliding the handle inside, but given how wet you were it was no problem. Moving the handle slowly at first, the only sounds were the ones of your wetness echoing in the room and his shallow breathing through the mask.

When you started moaning in pleasure, he moved the handle faster, the wet sounds of your pussy swallowing the handle made him grin beneath the mask.

He kept thrusting the handle in and out of you until your moans got needier and removed it with a squelching sound and a whine of displeasure at the loss from you.

"Ready for something much bigger, bebita?" his hand moved to open his robe, revealing the bulletproof vest and black pants underneath it with the bulge already pressing against it. Jake unzipped the pants, reaching inside to pull his thick cock out.

His hand moved to the mouth of the mask, lifting it up to reveal his handsome face covered in a thin layer of sweat. Your eyes widened slightly, Jake's curls were a bit damp and messy, but god have mercy on you for finding this cruel killer so fucking hot.

Jake smirked down at you, finding your reaction more than pleasing. He lined the tip up with your well-wetted, slippy cunt and pushed inside until he was fully sheathed. You gasped at the thick size of him stretching your tight channel, arching your back trying to get more of him if that was even possible.

Jake groaned. "Holy fuck." he started to roll his hips, grinding himself against you everytime he buried himself fully into you.

"S-shit, I'm so fucking glad I decided to fuck you...much better..." he threw his head back, his thrusts already intensifying.

Your eyes rolled back at how his cock managed to hit your spot with every stroke, causing you to arch upwards to get more of him.

Jake obviously noticed and grinned. "Oh you like that, huh?" he pulled out almost entirely before slamming back in. You couldn't help but moan uncontrollably at how good he's pounding into you, making a mess on the floor.

"F-faster please-" you bit your lip while looking at him, seeing the pleasure on his features. Jake obliged, fucking you faster for a moment before slowing down, loving how you whimpered at the slow, deliberate thrusts he gave you.

"Fuck you must love this cock, otherwise you wouldn't beg for it, girl." Jake grunted, speeding up again, wanting to see you get more cockdrunk than you already are. And it worked, you couldn't even think straight or form logical sentences.

All you could do was blabbering out incoherent noises as Jake fucked you however he pleased.

Your orgasm was about to hit you soon. Jake knew by how desperate you sounded, how you wanted him to ravage you. He pounded into you again and again, Jake was getting close by how heavy his breathing was and how messy his thrusts became.

One last snap of his hips was all it took for you to gush all over him. Jake completely lost it when your cunt squeezed around him like vice, and a second later, he flooded your insides with his sticky cum.

Jake stayed buried inside you for a moment before pulling his now soft cock out and tucked himself back in his pants. He looked down at your sweating form, all fucked out and messy. Beautiful.

"Alright sweetheart, time for me to go." Jake picked up his mask and knife. "But if you rat me out on the cops I'll gut you like a fish, understood?" he gave a warning glance.

"Th-thanks for sparing me..." you nodded.

Jake shot an arrogant grin. "You're welcome princesa. And remember, I have your number."

With that Jake left as quick as he came, shutting your front door close behind him and leaving you to continue watching your movies.

This Halloween has been really something else.

[notmorbid]

perfume & pain.

dialogue prompts from perfume & pain: a novel by anna dorn.

astrology is the great lesbian elixir.

fear is desire's cousin.

i don't need to know all the gory details.

____ said you were strange.

you can't just blurt whatever comes into your head publicly.

'opinion' implies i'm attached to what i say, and i'm really not.

where did you grow up?

it's not the best quality, being an insufferable contrarian.

it's good to be pure id, occasionally.

i smell cigarette smoke.

i'd love a post-meal cig.

you're kind of impenetrable.

i've never been much of a joiner.

i'm pathologically forgiving.

i feel untethered to time, these days.

you sound like you're on drugs.

i don't write because i'm brave. i write because i'm afraid of leaving my house.

my defense mechanisms aren't defending me.

my primary value is not having to move home.

i looked cute and alienated everyone.

i've never 'chilled' in my life.

it's high art. criterion collection.

i hate getting coffee with people.

why do you think i'm always avoiding you?

_____ has bad vibes.

i laugh when i'm uncomfortable.

i don't google myself.

my therapist says i have a savior complex.

i'm taking a break from saving people.

i'm trying to figure out how to focus on myself.

you could probably benefit from some media training.

we don't let anyone be messy anymore.

i'm glad my trauma is so hilarious to you.

i need to be alone most of the time, or i go a bit mad.

you aren't going to murder me, are you?

the internet says a lot of things.

i don't kiss and tell.

should i have an affair?

i don't like people.

no one has ever accused me of being wise or stable.

were you dropped on your head?

i was worried about you.

that was really intense the other night.

don't be embarrassed. especially not with me.

i'm the queen of ignoring red flags.

people are talking about you online. you didn't see?

it's more powerful to say nothing. be the bigger person.

_____ seems like a good influence on you.

do you think our parents gave us bad values?

i don't know why i can't just be normal.

just be patient. the universe has a plan.

i like you. i'm sure you know that.

i sort of have a type.

i don't think you need saving. i think you're hot.

at first, i just thought you were hot.

i was afraid you might not remember.

i've seen this movie before. and i know how it ends.

stop thinking so hard.

this is real life, not a dream.

you are skilled at making me question my reality.

did somebody put lsd in my water filter?

somehow i always end up being the type of person i once made fun of.

i googled 'successful celebrity apologies'.

i was camping. my phone was off.

you used to be kind of a bitch.

you're doing the best you can. we all are.

a baby would solve everything.

part of getting better is getting worse.

it's easy to feel like it's your fault, but it isn't.

i'm growing on you. i can tell.

[occultbooks]

dylan's hilson playlist masterpost

THIS IS A LONG POST!

I have a lot of thoughts and opinions and you don't have to agree but they make me feel so sick to my stomach that I had to make a post. Music is, in my mind, one of the greatest things in the world. I'm very passionate about it. So, here is a (chronological) list of songs that remind me of House and Wilson.

You Don't Know Where Your Interest Lies (1967) - Simon & Garfunkel

S&G deep cut I love. One of their only singles that didn't end up on an album. This one is pretty straightforward. Could be from either perspective, but I like to think it's Wilson's perspective. The song starts:

You don't know that you love me You don't know, but I know that you do

and the second verse includes the line:

You may think that we're friends, all right But I won't let friendship get in my way

The vibe of the song is also much more musically intense than Simon & Garfunkel tend to veer in their love-related songs, making it aesthetically fitting to Hilson as well.

2. Starry Eyes (1979) - The Records

This one is slightly up to interpretation (not a very popular song so meanings aren't readily available) but it has a kind of melancholy unrequited "giving up" theme.

I don't wanna argue, there's nothing to say Get me out of your starry eyes and be on your way

I like to think of this one also as from Wilson's perspective, but he's pretending he's speaking on behalf of the hospital, offended at House acting in his own self-interest. Early season 8 "we're not friends anymore" vibes.

3. This Night (1983) - Billy Joel

Being on the same album as Leave a Tender Moment Alone, this one is very fitting to me. This one, in my head, is like House's perspective, alternate universe where Wilson isn't so repressed. The lyrics are so deliciously tragic to me even though the resolution of the song implies happy endings. Verse 2 makes me feel sick to my stomach:

I've been around, someone like me should know better Falling in love would be the worst thing I could do Didn't I say I needed time to forget her? Aren't you running from someone who's not over you?

UEGGHHGRHGAHGHR sorry this one I can't even be civil about. it makes me emotional

4. You Make Me Feel Like a Whore (1995) - Everclear

This one is self-explanatory but I'll preface a little bit before writing out some of the lyrics. This could be either House or Wilson perspective. Horniest middle-aged men in New Jersey. I feel like they're all over each other all the time. A bunch of freaks.

I take your word like it was gospel  I'm so eager to please  Yeah I like it when you talk to me  It feels so good inside your shadow  It's the place I need to be Yeah I know I need to climb you  Like a tree

Yeah. You guys know. The rest of the song is just as horny and I just...yeah.

5. Selfless, Cold and Composed (1997) - Ben Folds Five

House perspective for so many reasons. Many lyrics about someone telling you they're done with you and walking out, and you feeling like that's probably fair.

You don't owe me to be so polite You've done no wrong You've done no wrong Get out of my sight

but the one that fucks me up is

Come on baby now throw me A right to the chin Don't just stare like You never cared I know you did

Asking the other person to hit him to show that they care is such a House thing. Again: early season 8. This could realistically be any House relationship, really, but it's so Hilson breakup to me.

6. G.I.N.A.S.F.S. (2007) - Fall Out Boy

Fun fact: the song title stands for "Gay Is Not a Synonym For Shitty." Just thought that was interesting. Anyway, this is also from House's perspective. I could probably go into detail about every individual lyric but I'll try not to. This song is about yearning for someone you either can't have or shouldn't pursue. Post-canon (post-Wilson death) makes the most sense for most of the song but it could also be just House being in his own head and believing Wilson is too far away to reach.

Trade baby blues for wide-eyed browns I sleep with your old shirts and walk through this house In your shoes, you know it's strange It's a strange way of saying that I know I'm supposed to love you

I feel like House probably wears Wilson's clothes after he dies. It makes me unbelievably sad to think about. Anyway, the second verse followed by the pre-chorus kills me:

I've already given up on myself twice Third time is the charm, third time is the charm Threw caution to the wind, but I've got a lousy arm And I've traced your shadows on the wall, now I kiss them Whenever I'm down, whenever I'm down Figured I'm not figuring myself out Things aren't the same anymore Some nights, they get so bad I almost pick up the phone

Thinking about House grieving...augh. They make me nauseous.

7. Away Frm U (2012) - Oberhofer

This song is about resisting someone who is shutting you out to try and keep them afloat. It doesn't have a lot of lyrics. It's very Wilson though.

You're pushing me away from you And there's nothing I can do And I can't fight all of your battles for you

That's about it.

8. Everyone But You (2017) - The Front Bottoms

The vibe of this song is fairly cliche, but "I hate everyone but you" as a concept is so delicious. It's also a little bit about feeling numb, which is very House to me.

It doesn't get worse, it doesn't get better You just get old, it lasts forever Can't get happy, can't get sad It's hard to do When I hate everyone but you

It's so sad to think about how House just spends his whole life trying to be as numb as possible because everything hurts all the time, and the only one who is (somewhat) consistent in his life is Wilson.

I fell in love 'Cause no one saw me the way you did And no one's seen me that way since But for a short time that's how I lived

Again, this could be any House relationship (ESPECIALLY Stacy), but also thinking about post-Wilson death House reminiscing is so...argh.

That's all I have for now. I mean, I have more songs on my playlist, but this is all I feel confident enough to pick apart. Link to the full playlist here, though it is Apple Music so sorry if u don't have that lol.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hey, this is the same 14 year old from earlier. first, i want to thank you so much for such a well rounded, thoughtful response. i went through all the resources and they were all very helpful. after thinking about it, i think i probably won't do this after all. technically i think i am ready, i understand the possible consequences, i know how to be safe, etc etc, but i'm just kind of anxious. and it might be a better idea to wait to do things like this with someone i actually have romantic feelings towards, because i'll probably enjoy it more then, right? i'm not exactly sure why i agreed to do it in the first place, i guess curiosity or for the sake of formative teenage experiences or literally just "why not" lmao. i do have one more question if that's alright, do you know of a good way to tell her that i don't really want to do this anymore? we haven't set up an actual date and time yet but she's serious about it and i was serious about it but obviously my opinion has changed. i feel kind of guilty about backing out especially because she kinda wanted this as a rebound after breaking up with her girlfriend of like, six years (which means it might be good if we don't do this anyway, this might be an impulsive decision on her part that she ends up regretting).

also one more question (sorry) if you have the time and energy for it. i know there's a lot of people asking you questions haha. how would you get an STI or STD through oral sex? i understand the basics, its spread through genital fluids and gets into your body that way, but how would the symptoms start showing in your own genitals? or would they not and just show up in your mouth or throat? the planned parenthood link kind of talked about that, but it said that it was rare. anyway thank you so much! you've been genuinely so helpful and kind and i appreciate it so much!

hello! welcome back! it's great to hear from you again, and I'm glad that response was helpful. it's awesome that you were able to weigh all the available information to make that decision. you'll have plenty of other opportunities for formative teenage experiences, very few of which have to involve sex at all - I'd be a bad sex witch if I didn't tell you that I didn't have sex with another person for the first time until I was almost 21!

cancelling this plan with your friend might feel awkward, but it doesn't need to be worse than dipping out of any other activity. "hey, I think I changed my mind about wanting to see this movie; I don't really think I'm going to vibe with it. thank you for inviting me, though!" 'I'm actually not feeling up to going to the game, but I hope you can find someone else to go with." "sorry to change our plans, but I think having sex actually isn't something I want to do right now. thanks for being understanding."

this may hurt your friend's feelings; it can often feel extremely personal and hurtful when someone doesn't reciprocate an interest in sex, and feel much worse than someone saying no to other kinds of plans. this may be especially true if you're right about your friend trying to rebound from a previous relationship - six years is a long relationship for anyone, especially someone for whom six years is almost half of their life, and there's a good chance she's still feeling sore from the loss of that relationship and is seeking comfort and validation from another source (you). good on you for being insightful enough to notice this and recognize this! that's an important trait to have, both as a friend and in your future romantic and sexual relationships.

if your friend doesn't take it well when you change your mind, you may need to get a little space from her while her feelings cool off. remember, while you should be kind when you say no - obviously nothing like "I wouldn't want to have sex with you, you're gross and just rebounding" - you're not doing anything wrong at all by changing your mind, and if your friend starts trying to pester you into changing your mind or acting more harshly to you, we've definitely crossed into the territory where she's the asshole. (not that you're the asshole for saying no; nobody is the asshole in that scenario.) if she takes it poorly, it's okay to ask her for some distance and spend less time around her until the hurt feelings are mended.

remember: you don't need to feel guilty for changing your mind. you are always allowed to do that, even if you're in the middle of having sex. you don't owe anyone else access to your body, ever, and anyone who tries to convince you otherwise can go straight into the trash.

and please don't ever feel the need to apologize for asking about STIs, they're one of my favorite things to talk about!

for many STIs that can be transmitted to the mouth, the symptoms will stay in the mouth and/or throat. sometimes that will look like sores or blisters in or around the mouth, which are sometimes painful and ooze discharge and sometimes don't feel like anything at all. it can also feel like an ordinary cold, with a sore throat and some difficulty swallowing. in most cases, the symptoms won't spread to your genitals unless you also contracted the STI there as well - for instance, if you touched your mouth and tongue to an infected partner's genitals and then also touched your genitals to theirs as well. but while the symptoms looks different, the medicines that treat STIs affecting the genitals are just as effective at clearing up infections in the mouth and throat.

I'm super happy to help, and please know you can send in more asks any time :)

[balrogballs]

okay now that we are mutuals (I have been blessed by the divine balls!! melian who? 😒) I can shamelessly come into your ask box to rant about elves.

OK. Here comes.

The elves that first awoke and their immediate children, right? From the information I've been able to gather, their society was tribal. More so than that, they basically didn't know... Anything. Like. At all. Presumably they woke up ass butt naked, in total darkness and with no language. Just ✨vibes✨

Some of these Elves had died at some point before they could invent anything, really, besides speech and maybe knives. Maybe. Eventually they got re-embodied and went to continue living on their merry way in Valinor/Aman.

Now, balls, I'm not a pervert. I'm an amateur anthropologist. Please keep that in mind.

Many years passed and Elves learnt many things from the Valar, and their babies had babies and had babies and so forth. So I'm thinking, some people just have that personality trait that they think it was better before. It doesn't matter how bad it was, but it was before and that means that it's better. It could be the black plague and they'd be wallowing the they just don't see people with sores anymore 😒🙄

So picture this. Thranduil, in all of his Bold Glamour glory, arrives in Valinor and eventually his daddy drags him to socialise (boy did the seclusion have a profound impact on his social skills, his mother says) with his extended relatives. And of course you have all kinds of people there.

But. By a lovely tree at sunset he meets his earliest known ancestor. Tall, probably, and squinting because the sun is too damn bright (it was better before, when it didn't scorch his face in the morning), and wearing absolutely nothing. Bojangles blowing on the wind. Just rawdogging it.

Balls. I have been thinking about this a lot. For historical reasons. Do you think Valinor has public indecency laws? Do you think accommodations are made for the neanderthal elves?

I need to let you know that I read this out to Mr Balls as he made dinner. I think I’ll be reading it out to most people. If I ever win a literary prize, I will read this out as my acceptance speech and attribute it to you.

I think “Now, balls, I'm not a pervert. I'm an amateur anthropologist. Please keep that in mind.” irrevocably changed something deep inside me. I don’t think I can ever, ever look at a tree without seeing a tall, noble elf standing by it, bits flapping in the wind. If I go and do some deforestation somewhere, it is entirely your fault.