#Me when Kotoko is the weak she hates

[willow-p012]

Blah blah blah obviously Kotoko's ableism is shown in how she refers to Mikoto/John and Shidou and Haruka but also it's shown very clearly to us that she's not so different from them.

I feel like I'm about to break

“No I need to do more…” say what? You’re going to break

Breaking, their relationship with their work... They're a pair for a reason, is what I'm saying. Both overwork themself to achieve a sense of fulfillment that they notably don't actually get - at least not for long, they share multiple lyrical similarities, the one about breaking being just one.

Others include: the sentiment of dreaming and protecting dreams (All I did was dream, If it damaged someone's dream to the point of stopping it), newborns/babies (Me, the newborn other you, Newly born “HARROW” “HARROW”). We're not even getting into just general themes such as being a saviour. Something to note, Kotoko seemingly shares a lot more with John than she does Mikoto.

The person that can’t be saved,/Is now understanding the abnormality

“UNDER” Doomed “005 Dissection Pawn”

Not much here to say - I've already covered my thoughts in that Shidou and Kotoko are very similar before.

As a quick rundown: both have a theme - either subtle or outright - of the ends justifying the means; they both have a general air of I know what's good for you; they both have religious imagery (though, to be fair, this is quite common in Milgram); they both use being someone's saviour as a mechanism to make themselves feel better; they both have their relationship with a child/children as a central part of their character; and they both dehumanise others (last two points actually not inlucded in the original post)

Anyways, Kotoko says she(?) can't be saved, and then says Shidou is doomed due to his mental health struggles. I don't have anything to add.

Laugh and I can get to like myself

Haruka's whole deal

I'm just waving wildly towards Kotoko's desperate need to be right and approved of and Haruka's desperate need to be looked at and... Approved of! Kotoko mirrors Haruka in quite a few ways (Their respective blood incidents, weak and strong as a prevalent theme, ectect) however I'm tired and know if I try dissect it quickly I'll look insane.

Mfs when they overwork themselves a bit too much (time to break and dissociate)

Mfs finding their new purpose in life

Mfs after the purpose goes wrong

Mfs when they're strong or weak (there's no real difference anymore and neither of them are acceptable for the society they live in)

[hectorthedoggo]

i made a litte haruka t3 vd based off of an earlier convo w @kani-miso and @chairhahaha that one time (if you guys remember that)

Broken Wings

*The interrogation starts, and Haruka is breathing heavily, shifting around in his seat. It can be interpreted as a panic attack, or some sort of crying.

*The door opens, and the warden doesn’t speak for a bit.

E: Prisoner Number 1. We cannot begin the interrogation when you’re in such a state.

*Haruka’s voice sounds broken, like he’s cried a lot over the past few minutes.

H: Warden… hey, why did you vote Mu guilty? Even though I promised that…

E: You cannot influence our verdict in such a way. We found it fit to deem her guilty, therefore your opinion is invalid.

H: Huh? I don’t… but, i have to, I have to follow through on my promise. I couldn’t do it earlier, because of the guilty restraints.

E: No.

H: Huh? What do you mean?

E: Milgram won’t permit it, I’m sure. Fights between prisoners are prohibited as long as the warden is awake, so you’ve lost your window of opportunity.

H: I don’t… understand.

E: You aren’t allowed to kill yourself, idiot.

H: Hehe… hihihi! Well, you can’t push me around! I have…

*a rustling sound is heard, and the warden gasps

E: Scissors? Where…

H: The supply closet! I can kill myself, you can’t stop me!

E: No! You’re not allowed!

H: I’ll do it now! You’re too weak to stop me.

*Sounds of a struggle, and E keeps making pained noises. Eventually, a clattering noise is heard, and the sound of the barrier rings out.

*They sound physically in pain, speech occasionally interrupted by small gasps of pain.

E: Ow… hah. Haruka. You can’t take the scissors. We have them now. You’re not getting them back. Hm… I wonder if I could ask Milgram to take the supply closet… it’s such a bother.

*H sounds pained.

H: Warden! You have to understand! I made a promise, I have to follow through! Besides…

E: …

H: Besides, the voices tell me that I don’t deserve to live. That I’m too crazy for society, because I killed all of those animals. I was right, earlier. There’s no way that my true self will ever be forgiven.

I'm so tired of this constant talking, they’re right. And… Mahiru didn't deserve to die.. it should've been me.. i should join her, to fulfill my promise.

E: ! Ma…hiru…

* their voice sounds a little surprised, almost like they’ve been struck.

H: It’s hard, without her. She was so nice. I want to join her, and me being here doesn’t help anything. Everyone would be happier if I died.

E: Don’t… don’t…

H: Are you okay? I… I understand!

*A small rustling is heard

*their breathing is heavy

E: Get off… get off of me. Don’t hug me like that, it won’t work. I’m not going to-

H: It’s not for that! Hugs mean to make everything feel better! It’s a goodbye hug. Mahiru always said-

E: Shut up!

*They hit Haruka, but that’s not enough for them. They tackle him, in what is most definitely not a hug, and starts to pathetically beat him up.

H: Ow! Why are you-

E: I hate people like you! First, it was Shidou, now you, stupidly sacrificial, having no regard for the other’s emotions! Don’t you dare insult Mah- no, we’re not… we’re not supposed to… we just hate you. We, the warden, need no justification for beating up rowdy prisoners.

*Haruka makes little noises of pain, matching E’s.

*Suddenly, the door opens.

Kz: Hey! Hey! What’s going on here. Es, get off.

*A little struggle is heard, but Kazui quickly gets them off of their victim.

E: Kazui… why… no, you’re too much of a coward to go into the room yourself. Who sent you?

Kz: I’m not saying. Es, why were you-

E: It was Kotoko, wasn’t it? Guilty verdict wasn’t enough to get her off her high horse? Heh, i wonder why they decided to vote you innocent, if you keep interfering like this.

K: !

E: You stupid prisoners. Always interfering. What we do is not your business.

Haruka: Es…

E: We aren’t Es. K: ! What?!

H: W… what? Then, who are you?

E: The warden. Of MILGRAM. We don’t need a name, Es is simply a label.

K: like… amane-chan… but worse

E: What was that? (rhetorical)

H : He said you’re like Amane, but worse.

E: Shut up, the both of you ! Milgram is much nobler than a group of cartoon characters with a bunch of philosophies attached to them! What Milgram is doing, is fully, absolutely, right. Of course it would be! Otherwise, well…

It would be…

*they lose their spark

I wouldn’t be…

*awkward silence

No, no. what milgram is doing has to be right. Otherwise, I would…

*their voice breaks at the end. they slap themself.

Stop that. No. Anyways, Kazui, please get out of the room. I apologize for my earlier outburst. I will not resort to such violence, again. Haruka. Do not touch me.

K: As long as you promise to not attack Haruka.

E: As long as Haruka doesn’t touch me again.

H: I… I won’t?

E: Alright. Kazui. Leave.

K: If I hear more struggle-

E: Leave.

K: Okay.

* He leaves.

E: Ah… what are we supposed to do with you… 

*The bell rings

ack!

H: Are you alright?

E: Shut up… shut up… you all aren’t supposed to… I thought you-

H: ?

E: Shut up!

* They start to breathe heavily.

H: Is it… the…

E: That’s none of your business! I… we don’t have the same problems as you prisoners- ack!

H: … um… Warden?

E: Shut up!

H: Okay…

E: I- I- get it! Okay!

H: Um, sorry. Who are you talking to?

E: That’s… none of your business. Let’s just get this overwith, I- we can’t be doing this right now.

Now, prisoner number one, sing your sins!

[roseofcards90]

What’s really fucking me up is just Kotoko’s complete change and view of Haruka like huh??? 😭 I know the slandering of all the innocent trial 1 prisoners is a lot but the fact that she insults Haruka too when she was cordial with him before is making me lose my mind

Like to go from this??? Pointing out how he's gotten more confident in himself and how she's happy for him—

to calling him a "worthless parasite" in Deep Cover??? 😭 Are you just saying things to find fault in every single one of them??? You know what this reminds me of though lmao it reminds me of a child who thinks they're right and everyone else is wrong default. And I absolutely love seeing this, you know why?

Because it really goes to show that Kotoko was never the mature vigilante she made herself to be. At the end of it all, we see a young woman who continues to act like a child, who hates herself so much she'll pull the weak she was supposed to protect down with her because she properly never got the chance to grow up and that is fucked up.

[justicereversed]

what does es think of kotoko?

i think it's pretty clear, whether or not you're familiar with my posts, what kotoko's mindset is and specifically how she views her relationship with es. she hates evil (which she describes simply as "oppressing innocent weaklings") and as such she has portrayed herself as 'the fangs of the weak', she feels it is her role as 'a strong person' to protect and save innocent weaklings while crushing the strong. she saves es in john doe, she wants to be 'their fangs', she calls them weak and inept. laying it all out like this makes it more obvious to me what she's thinking.

but what about es? to me their relationship is so loaded from kotoko's side, but es isn't an object, they have feelings too. so what exactly is the other side of this dynamic?

es's personality and feelings are established from the beginning. they are an amnesiac, they are 15, and most importantly of all they are the warden. this is their role that they have been assigned. it is all they know, and it is important for them. they are the warden, and as such they are powerful, they are in control, and they are Better. their feelings are the truth, because They Are Milgram.

they don't want to think about their past, or anything outside of milgram, or why their thoughts are not their own.

this is very important for understanding es, and how they are. they are very emotional, they are desperate for control, and it is very very easy to get under their skin. they are easy to slap and kick and push the prisoners around. it is physically painful to make them question their identity.

when kotoko offers for them to work together, and for her to 'be their fangs', it makes them mad. their idea of what theyre Supposed to be is very rigid. the warden doesnt care about anything but their role. the warden is stronger than the prisoners. kotoko should not be their equal.

but in trial two they admit they see the prisoners as comrades. they dont like that kotoko physically harmed fuuta and mahiru, even if they're being a hypocrite.

kotoko calling them weak and useless is an instance of them confronting their ability to be the warden, and their identity, and it completely breaking them.

kotoko hugs them, and they struggle, but it almost works. they almost let kotoko convince them, that if they can just rely on her, and stop thinking about the things that hurt them, that make them care about the prisoners, then milgram would be better.

but they don't let it, because they can't stop being warden.

i think its very important that the one time es admits freely, without breaking down or freezing, that they feel like their thoughts are not their own, is to kotoko.

they're very genuine, to kotoko. in some way, they do care, even if just a little. they tell her that they've been thinking about her, too.

but its not very... healthy. they still cling onto their warden role, they are still Better Than kotoko.

es makes it clear that they do not approve of what kotoko did. this can be read mainly because of their position, that the prisoners should not be stronger than the warden, that they should not cast judgement on the others, and they do not want the judgements to be violent.

but... they don't Fully... disapprove of kotoko being their fangs, either. i had always imagined that this is just leeway to allow a kotoko forgiven verdict, but es still said this.

they do not shut down how she views herself at all. honestly, in a way, they feel the exact same way about eachother. kotoko calls herself es's fangs, a part of es's body. es calls her a tool, a thing to be used, and kotoko agrees.

perhaps, es is projecting their desire to be in control onto kotoko.

[archivalofsins]

I love when people try to discuss Kotoko, saying she wasn't persecuted by like-

Being sorta ableist and conflating persecution to trauma. Subtly pushing forward this idea that normal people don't turn out like her. Come on, now. Just listen to what's being said for a second.

Firstly, everyone has trauma. Like literally everyone, there is no such thing as a person devoid of trauma. Regardless of how big or small another person may believe someone else's trauma to be, no one goes through life without dealing with some distressing or disturbing events.

So, anyone who truly on some level believes having trauma can be used as an excuse/justification for her acting the way she does or only people with certain sorts of trauma who went through certain sorts of things that possibly have certain types of diagnoses are the only one's who would behave like she does...

May want to start tackling their own internalized ableism before they fall into stereotyping. People using Kotoko's answer about persecution to highlight that she herself has no issue admitting she's never received what the fuck she dishes out and her having trauma are two seperate things. I don't even know how they ended up being connected to begin with.

Sure a person can have trauma from being persecuted, but being persecuted isn't the source of all trauma. That's why they're two different words.

That's why the question was phrased like this.

Q.18 Have you ever personally been persecuted in the past?

Kotoko: I haven’t. But are you trying to say that if you haven’t had those experiences you can’t hate evildoers?

Because it was asking about whether Kotoko experienced the same persecution she put others through. Her answer was no. Where exactly does trauma come in here? This is a bad faith reading of this situation, but I can't view this talking point as anything other than people attempting to consistently show off that they think/believe people who have experienced incredibly traumatic things are not normal and therefore are the only people who would end up like Kotoko. Causing me to consider that the only reason people want Kotoko to be traumatized is so they can point at that trauma and say she can't be like me I can't end up like her because she's fundamentally different from the average person. An average person wouldn't be like this.

I think this because no one, not even the question discussed, ever brought trauma into this.

Now, I have personally stated to people who claim Kotoko must have trauma to be the way she is, that she admits to not being persecuted. To state why I personally doubt she has trauma to the extent that others want her to have it for some reason. Because she explains what she views as evil in her first voice drama, the persecution of the weak and innocent, bullying, torture. The translation I saw which is on YouTube, specifies bullying and torture. For her to state she has not been persecuted directly after stating what she defines as persecution in her first voice drama paints a pretty clear picture.

Along with the fact that she literally gets defensive about stating she hasn't been persecuted. Literally stating,

"But are you trying to say that if you haven't had those experiences, you can't hate evildoers?"

So, it's clearly a sore spot for her. She didn't go, "No, I'd never be a victim." She literally went, "Oh, are you saying I can't hate evil because I haven't personally been persecuted by it? Is that what you're getting at? I know an evildoer when I see one."

That's a weird way to lie. It's weird to lie about not having something done to you and then in the same sentence point out and attempt to combat how that may be weaponized against you. Because if she recognizes it could be used to imply that she isn't fit to do the things she's doing due to the fact she has no firsthand experience with being persecuted then she honestly could have and should have lied. Because that's exactly what saying this highlights and she not only knows but calls that it to attention herself in the same answer.

So, why would I not believe she's being honest? She highlights exactly how this won't benefit her while answering.

Well, but- See Gunsli you brought trauma into it just now! You're admitting that right here and continuing to debate it. Yes, because I don't fundamentally believe a person has to have certain types of trauma to behave the way Kotoko does. She is a very normal person.

I say I don't think she has trauma to people who say she must because I recognize that it is ableist to assert she must simply because of how she is, and it does nothing to benefit her narrative to me. The reason I use this question to highlight that is because people who have trouble discerning ableism will instead be tripped up by the question than ever ask if being persecuted and having trauma are the same thing.

Even if Kotoko's lying here and she has heaps of persecution and there are people slandering her name every day and judging her for what she did-

Q.10 What were you called online?

Kotoko: A lot of things. Cause there were people who supported me, and then there were also morons who just didn’t understand.

That would not equate to trauma, and given her first written interrogation, she does not consider what she just stated here a form of persecution.

Even though it is having a ton of people discuss you negatively in spaces that you can see would count as the second definition of persecution,

Persistent annoyance or harassment.

To annoy with persistent or urgent approaches (such as attacks, pleas, or importunities): Pester.

Though the public to our current knowledge didn't know of Kotoko by name. She still had to experience the exact same thing Futa did at the end of Bring It On. That is people online judging her for what she'd done. Something I would count as persecution, but again, Kotoko doesn't and did not count that when asked last trial. Because her definition involves active bullying and torture. It involves physically injuring someone.

She personally does not view herself or any of the experiences in her life as facing the same persecution as the weaklings she claims she wants to protect. Full stop, that's what her answering in that way means. Anyone can claim she's putting up a tough front, but that's what saying that means when placed alongside everything else.

We know nothing about Kotoko's home life. It isn't shown in any of her videos. Barring some massive change in trial three, I don't see it having much to do with her crime. She's with the child from the warehouse more than we see her with her family, which isn't a hard bar to pass because her family doesn't show up at all.

Hell, maybe since we saw Amane's trauma after she was voted, Guilty Kotoko enjoyers who are interested in her trauma should just vote her guilty. Apparently, being guilty will unlock that trauma real quick. Still, even if in the end we find out Kotoko has heaps of persecution and oodles of trauma.

Having trauma alone does not make anyone more likely to turn out how Kotoko did or like any of the prisoners, for that matter. They made the choices that got them here and have continually said so. Kotoko's main thing is jumping people she is the sole instigator of every conflict we've seen her in. She could have called the cops and told them this guy's whereabouts. She could have chosen not to jump that other man on the street. She could've been in law school. Instead, she chose to drop out or go on leave in favor of prioritizing tastelessly larping as Jason Todd from the fucking Batman comics.

So put the trauma strawman back in the cornfield where it belongs. Actually read that question and really analyze how having trauma would change anything about Kotoko's narrative. Ask why some people would like others to believe having trauma in this case is a get out of jail free card a reasonable justification and explaination of her behavior. Is it really about adding depth or making others feel bad for Kotoko.

Really recognize how behaving in a way that indicates one believes only individuals who have gone through trauma can do the things Kotoko has done actually comes off to people who have experienced trauma. People who may simply not project on this character as many others do. People who, due to their trauma, may recognize that even at their worst moments, they didn't do the things that any of the prisoners in Milgram decided to do. That due to that recognition even if Kotoko did have trauma even if she has gone through a lot there would still be some people who'd say that's no excuse.

Just like with Amane. People saw her trauma on screen in Purge March and dismissed it. She has one of the closest verdicts of trial two. So will having trauma really help Kotoko or make her look like more of a lost cause. Have people considered what they're asking for fully?

Most of the prisoners have said they've had normal lives in some capacity. Yet no one has said that means any of them have not had trauma. Because again, having a normal life and having trauma is a given. These are two things that exist together. No one lives a life that's trauma free. Distressing and disturbing things happen on every level even when someone is well off.

It's the specific sort of trauma people are trying to put on Kotoko, why, and how they're going about doing that, which makes it gross to me. Literally Kotoko could go, I have a normal family and the audience will go we're gonna have to pull another Yuno don't listen to Kotoko she doesn't know about her own fucking life. Despite her life and childhood not really being connected to her crime. It's not like she was jumping family or classmates. She only knew about these people from news outlets.

Her songs don't show her complaining about her upbringing or life circumstances at all. They do allude to jer not having the best self-esteem. Through her covers being Anti Beat, Streaming Heart, the lyric about laughing and being able to like herself, how she begins to visualize herself over the course of Deep Cover.

I'm not going to argue about if she had trauma outside of asking what exactly changes if she does? Because I don't give a damn if she has trauma. Everybody does. Her feelings aren't her fault but how she acts on them are her fucking responsibility. Stop insisting that only the wrong sort of person ends up in Milgram. People ended up in Milgram. Whatever trauma they may have is not an excuse for killing people.

End of story. But Amane Gunsli but Amane-

20/06/13

Amane: ……what’s wrong, Shidou-san? Your hand has stopped marking. This is mathematics, so there’s no questions about the answers. If I got something wrong, please mark it with an X.

Shidou: I…… I just don’t understand. If everything about MILGRAM is true…… why did a child like you have to become a murderer? Just imagining what sort of circumstances must have led to that, it makes me so sad……

Amane: ……*sigh*. Is that right. I don’t think I’m going to get along with you, Shidou-san. I don’t agree with the fact you refuse to acknowledge that-

I have my own free will, and that I should be held accountable for my actions, just because I’m a child. I may have only been alive for 12 years, but all the choices I’ve made, even if they weren’t the best ones, were entirely my own. What point is there in you getting sad when I have no regrets myself?

……please give me back my test. It seems you don’t have the concentration levels required to be my teacher. I’m going to get Kotoko-san to teach me instead.

Shidou: Amane…… I don’t think that’s true. However smart you may be…… you’re still just a child.

I once again ask why so many in this fandom are comfortable with treating the child like an adult but keep treating these full ass adults like children? To the point that the child we judge understands accountability better than any of us! Amane has never used her trauma as an excuse for her behavior. She won't even use her age because she already knows what she did was not the best decision and has said so from the start. What has Kotoko said?

Oh, but if we just don't believe anything that Kotoko says ever or pick and choose when we do, we can all just build a better Kotoko. Man, I really can't wait to see how that turns out since we've already got a character who has been treated like that.

[lotto-on-top]

First Week of my Wumptober event! Regrets — Shinyu and Kotoko angst AU tw: blood, pure angst, death!!!

The battlefield was a blur of chaos and violence, the clang of weapons clashing and the distant roar of thunder melding into a single cacophony. But for Kotoko, the world had come to a standstill. She knelt on the ground, staring in disbelief at the figure crumpled before her—Shinyu Kiwari.

Blood soaked through his clothes, staining the dirt beneath him a deep crimson. His breath came in ragged gasps, each one more labored than the last. Kotoko’s hands shook as she reached for him, her chest tightening in a way she hadn’t felt in years.

“Shinyu…” Her voice was a whisper, barely audible over the storm around them. She knelt beside him, her fingers trembling as she touched his face, hoping—praying—for some kind of response. “No, no, no… you can’t…”

He managed a weak smile, even as blood dripped from the corner of his mouth. “Kotoko…” His voice was a rasp, the strength in it fading with each word. “I’m… sorry.”

Tears welled in her eyes, and she hated it—hated how powerless she felt, how she could do nothing but watch as the one person she never thought she could lose slipped away.

“Don’t apologize!” she cried, gripping his hand. “Bitch you’re not allowed to die, do you hear me? You… you can’t…” Her voice faltered, choking on the words. How many times had she kept him at arm’s length, pushing him away for fear of losing him, of experiencing the same pain she had endured with so many others?

She had always told herself it was safer that way. That if she didn’t let him get too close, she wouldn’t feel this crushing agony when the inevitable happened.

But it was happening now. And she had been wrong.

“I should’ve—” Her words caught in her throat as she struggled to hold back the sob threatening to escape. “Fuck.. I should’ve told you. I should’ve been honest from the beginning…”

Shinyu’s eyes fluttered, but his gaze remained fixed on hers, his expression soft, understanding. He’d always been like that—patient, even when she’d kept him at a distance, even when she pretended she didn’t care as much as she did.

“I was just… scared,” she whispered, her voice breaking. “I thought if I pushed you away, I wouldn’t lose you. But now you’re… you’re still…” She couldn’t bring herself to say the word.

Shinyu’s hand weakly squeezed hers, and the small gesture shattered something deep inside her. “It’s… okay, Kotoko. I… knew.”

His voice was so faint now, like a dying flame flickering in the wind.

“I knew… you cared,” he continued, his breaths shallow, painful. “I just… wanted you to know… that I—”

“Stop!” she cut him off, her heart clenching at the finality in his tone. “Don’t… don’t say it like it’s goodbye. You’re going to be fine. You have to be fine.”

But even as she said the words, she knew it wasn’t true. His skin was growing colder beneath her touch, his breathing more labored. The light in his eyes was dimming, and no matter how much she begged, she couldn’t stop it. It reminded her of Riki. And her siblings.

“Please, Shinyu… I—” Her voice broke, and for the first time in years, the walls she had so carefully built around her heart crumbled. “私もあなたを愛しています.”

(I love you too.)

The words came out in a whisper, barely audible over the rain that pounded the earth around them. She had been too afraid to say it before, too afraid to admit it even to herself. But now, with him slipping away in front of her, she realized how much she had been holding back, how much she had pushed him away out of fear.

Shinyu’s lips twitched into a faint smile, his eyes shining with something soft, something that made her heart ache even more. “I… love you too.”

And with that, the last bit of strength left him. His hand fell limp in hers, his chest rising for one final, shallow breath before going still.

The world fell silent.

Kotoko stared at him, her mind reeling, unable to process what had just happened. She shook her head, refusing to accept the reality in front of her. “No… no, no, no, please…” She pressed her forehead to his, her tears falling freely now, mixing with the rain that drenched them both.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, her voice breaking. “I should’ve told you sooner… I should’ve let you in… I was so scared of losing you, but now… now you’re gone, and I can’t—”

Her words dissolved into sobs, her body trembling as the weight of it all crushed her. She had loved him—she had always loved him—but she had let her fear of loss keep her from ever truly showing it. And now, it was too late.

Shinyu was gone.

The rain continued to fall, the world moving on around her, indifferent to the pain in her heart. Kotoko clutched his lifeless body to her chest, her tears falling like the rain, endless and cold.

She let out a deep sigh, looking upwards. That was the final straw. Shinyu was right. The mafia wasn’t the place for her. But what was?

NOTES:

CRYING. SOBBING. SHITTING BRICKS.

I APOLOGIZE CHAT I MIGHT HAVE GONE A LIL FAR NOT MY ASS SHEDDING A TEAR BYE.

@9024kickthedrum I’ll write the fluff tomorrow..

@city-of-c0rpses IM SORRY.

[good-beanswrites]

I already brought this up, but for quicker reference:

Order of Attack: Mahiru nightmare sequence about Kotoko's attacks. Gotta round out the guilty trio.

Feel free to not prioritize this. :D

LISTEN, I CAN'T BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR THE ANGST THAT YOU REQUEST (<- made myself sad over Mappi and worries I may be in trouble for this one). Obligatory "I don't hate Kotoko and think she's very complex but from these character's pov I had to make her solely scary I'm sorry." And of course I was prioritizing this 👀👀👀 I really loved your nightmare sequences, I tried to make one that completed the set but was still unique!! Thank you for the request >:3

TW for referencing her bf's suicide, and descriptions of the attack injuries

“Aw, come on, you can tell me~” Yuno turned her attention away from where she’d been helping Mahiru with dinner. “Both Fuuta and Amane have had nightmares about her. Hell, I’ve had a nightmare or two about her. I won’t think you’re a mean person for admitting it.”

“I’m not lying,” Mahiru insisted. Her lips rounded into a little pout.

Yuno studied her expression. The girl had a way of really looking at someone when she wanted to. Sometimes it was a wonderful feeling – her gaze could be full of understanding, warmth. You were seen. You were heard. She saw you for all that you were. 

But in times like these, Mahiru found herself shifting under the pressure of it. Yuno was truly seeing her. She could see how Mahiru’s smile was frozen in its forced shape these past few weeks. She could see the way she flinched at loud noises, or how all the blood drained from her face when Kotoko’s voice echoed from the room next door. In waking, there was no doubt Mahiru was afraid of her. In sleep, though…

Yuno took her hands in both of hers.

“Then… what do you dream about?”

—

Mahiru was in the woods. She was running, her feet bare, her breath hitching. 

At first, she thought she was fleeing something. Danger and death loomed around her. The trees closed in. The canopy plunged her into darkness. The branches reached out to tear at her flowered dress, or snag on her hair. The trees pressed close to suffocate her. She grabbed at her throat. 

At some point, it became clear she was running towards something. A figure came into her view, just ahead. Though he didn’t appear to be running, she couldn’t catch up to him. She had to. He was in danger. She had to get to him. She had to stop him. 

He entered a clearing up ahead. Mahiru could just barely see into it. She tried to scream out, begging him to stop, but no words came out of her wheezing mouth. She could stop everything, she could stop all of this, if only –

She burst through the clearing. The figure, now a young woman, stood in the center. She faced away. 

Mahiru tried again to tell Kotoko to stop, but it didn’t matter whether or not she could speak, now; it was too late. 

On the ground below, between tree roots and scattered leaves, lay two small bodies.  

Mahiru’s hands flew to cover her mouth. Her legs grew weak with horror. There was blood everywhere, and bones bent at wrong angles. Fuuta’s limbs were twisted and limp. Amane had curled herself to cover her face, blood streaming from between her fingers.

 Kotoko, too, had red-stained hands. She surveyed her work with pride.

“What… have you done…?”

Slowly, Kotoko turned. Mahiru wanted to turn around and run before those bloodthirsty eyes could land on her. Her legs stayed frozen in place even as her heart raced in her chest. 

Kotoko met her gaze. Then, she gave a gentle smile.

“Thank you.”

Mahiru stumbled back a few steps.

“You let this happen.” 

“No…”

“You did. You could have stopped this, but you didn’t. Thank you.”

“I-I didn’t –! This isn’t – ! I thought –”

“You knew this was going to happen.” She spoke a familiar name, and Mahiru shook her head violently. “You knew what he was planning. You had plenty of chances to stop him. You didn't. You knew what I was planning. You know how to calm people down, how to bring groups together. But you didn’t speak to me once about it. You wanted this to happen.”

“I didn’t!” She said it frantically, unsure if she was trying to convince Kotoko, the two beaten prisoners, herself, or someone else. “I didn’t.” The statement was true, but it didn’t change anything that Kotoko had said.

The forest closed in. Kotoko reached a hand out, beckoning to her.

“We make a good team, don’t we?”

“No…” 

Mahiru was struck with the thought that she didn’t want to take hold of such a disgusting hand, only to glance down at her own. They were just as slick with blood. She let out a shriek.

It was Amane’s. It was Fuuta’s. It was his. 

Mahiru’s legs finally gave out on her. When she looked up, Kotoko was still smiling.

“So… who will be next?” 

—

Mahiru slipped away from Yuno’s grasp. 

“Oh, don’t you worry about little old me!” She turned back to their work. She brushed her hands off on her apron, giving them an extra swipe for good measure. “I promise, Kotoko isn’t the villain in my dreams.”

[purgemarchlockdown]

Im going through all the dogs in my head and yeah it all lines up pretty well-

First of all, Neotony is defined as "retention of some larval or immature characters in adulthood" it is also known as juvenilization because the idea is that these traits are only seen in juvenile members of the species. Humans can experience neotony but we specifically bred dogs to have neotenized traits. Second: Not a biologist...at all! Just some guy who knows too many animal facts! Plus I'm using this concept in loose metaphorical terms. Neotony is usually connected to physical traits but it does show up mentally in ways such as decreased aggression.

Anyways the Big Ones:

Haruka: ...Okay do I need to explain this one? Haruka both wants to return back to being a "child" where he was loved and cared for and hates the "weak" parts of himself. When he killed dogs he, in the process, destroyed the idea that he could "be a child again."

(Note: Haruka also kills a Cat which...Cat=Sin fans we stay Winning!) John: John is a "dog's name" and has refereed to himself as a "newborn" and wishes he wasn't "born" Once again connecting being a dog to being a "child," plus there's also the children noises in Double.

(Note: Tsuwmya has covered over Here ideas of age and maturity in relation to milgram characters and for Mikoto she put them down as "an adult that wants to become an adult" talking about how he has a lack of control in his life and even though he wants to be an adult and taken seriously by the people around him, he isn't. Go read the post its good) Kotoko: Notably Kotoko has Wolves and not Dogs, the non-domesticated, non-juvenilized version of dogs. However Kotoko herself has a lot of child-related imagery and concepts. Her name is written with the kanji for "child" she has a connection to Little Red Riding Hood and tells Amane that she was "the way she is now by her age" not growing or changing past being twelve. Tsuwmya's post actually covers it really well how she's an child stuck as an adult forced to be a child.

Other various details: Amane (I GOT HER IN!) has a dog Magic.

Notably unlike the cream cat (which is collared) and Her Cat (which well...dies and is also a representation of her and her sin) the bunny and the dog are uncollared (domesticated without the need of something to control them)

Magic is notably child-like in it's art direction too.

Mahiru:

Admittedly this one alluded me but Tsuwmya's post strikes again! Mahiru is an adult stuck as a child! The dog isn't too relevant to her but ay it works with my point! Would also like to mention the line that goes over here is:

We fought sometimes, I was happy to get hurt

So that's interesting.

Kazui: Family dog that is At His Parents House. Kazui has a notably bad relationship with his family and doesn't want to be an adult and deal with adult responsibilities. Yet he doesn't Really want to be a child because that means doing what his Parents want him to do and having the pressure on him.

Note again: We caused the Neotony in dogs! Each character's "childishness" can be traced back to something. Haruka was neglcted and abused, Mikoto is overworked and disrespected, Kotoko presumably had something in her past, Amane...I will talk forever if I say hers so I wont, Mahiru was sheltered, Kazui is trapped in the pressures of society.

So yeah...I think someone on the Milgram team must Really like Animals.

[oboetemasuka]

Simultaneous attack

Beans, Nott, this one's for both of you. Blame Mug. :)))

(Cw for canon-typical violence, violence against a minor, cult/abuse mindset)

-

"If there's something you believe in, you should stay true to it. Though if it's difficult to hold on, you could do with a bit of-"

"I'm not interested. Get out."

Amane sighed and walked over to the door. Fuuta had let her enter in the first place. Why was he changing his mind now?

But just as she got close enough, the door slammed open in her face. It wasn't as bad as it looked, just the side of the door grazing her forehead, causing her to lose her balance a little. Once she adjusted herself, she found she was face-to-face with Kotoko, who was holding a nightstick loosely at her fingertips. That was a little concerning. Fuuta probably couldn't see it from that angle, or else he'd be raising a storm.

"Amane Momose, I didn't expect you to be here," Kotoko said. "No matter. Less work for me." The door closed behind her.

Kotoko went on a rehearsed speech about how the two of them were unforgivable and how she would carry out judgment on the warden's behalf. Amane flinched when Kotoko brought up clear intent of harm. It wasn't like Amane could run away, though. Instead, she tried to hastily form a retort in her head. She almost didn't hear the shout of "Don't you dare hit her!" as Kotoko tightened her grip on the nightstick and raised it. As it came down, Amane felt a shove from the side and fell to the floor. She reoriented herself and found Fuuta lying where she stood moments ago.

"Fuuta Kajiyama, playing the hero as always. Well, that's not going to-"

"Hey, you don't-" he shouted before Kotoko knocked the wind out of him.

The best action would be to slip out of the room and scream for help. It had a low chance of success, as Amane would be in grabbing range if she tried to open the door, but it was better than what she was actually going to do.

"Kotoko Yuzuriha. What makes you think you have the right to punish people?" she asked, standing at full height.

"I told you. The warden has appointed me as their fang. I have the right to do their will in their absence." Kotoko stood in front of Amane, looming over her.

"The warden has made an error in judgment. Milgram is wrong. Put down your weapon and repent-"

The nightstick faintly traced Amane's cheek as Fuuta slammed Kotoko off to the side.

"I told you to leave-" But Kotoko jabbed him in the gut, once again cutting off his words.

Amane didn't realize she had fallen to the floor until she looked up and saw Kotoko hovering over her, much taller than before. She scrambled to her feet, still shaking.

"Y-you can't just… you can't hit people w-when you don't know w-what-"

She was on the ground again. Her words were jumbled in her brain.

"You were so sure of yourself a moment ago. But Amane Momose, it takes more than a bit of pain for you to understand your wrongdoings."

Amane couldn't let Kotoko win. Physically, it was no match, but at least she could have the verbal high ground. But it seemed that all the words had been knocked down with her. No, she couldn't let Kotoko have the final say! But she couldn't even lift her head to look Kotoko in the eyes.

"She's just a kid," Fuuta said, still too winded to raise his voice. "You think the warden would forgive you for this?"

"The warden has called her unjust. It doesn't matter if she's a child. She needs to learn-"

"You're the same as me."

"Don't make me laugh. You were also not forgiven by the warden."

"Because I caused a kid to die." Fuuta lowered his head in shame.

Kotoko was momentarily taken aback. Then she frowned sharply and shoved Fuuta to the ground.

"Don't liken me to you, scum. You carried out misguided judgments on your own accord."

"That's exactly what you're doing… using Milgram as an excuse."

"Shut up. Evildoers don't get to argue."

Amane could barely see what was happening anymore. It hurt. It hurt. Amane hated how weak she was. She hated that she couldn't stand her ground. If this was how things had to be… she hated it.

She appreciated that Fuuta had something to stand for, though. She locked eyes with him. He made an apologetic look before closing his eyes.

At least… she didn't have to face this trial alone.

[mulling-over-milgram]

One of my absolute favourite things about John and Kotoko’s foil relationship is the theme of being seen as a monster both by themselves and others.

Kotoko and john have both been labeled as monsters/dangerous and also both seem to see themselves as such. The majority of the prisoners don’t like/are scared of them.

—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-

John is seen and on some level sees himself as the monster who got mikoto stuck in milgram and Kotoko sees herself as the monster who hurts and fails the people she is trying to protect/the proctor who became the monters she was fighting!

John“It's no wonder. To him, he's being blamed for a crime he has no memory of. It's not unreasonable from his (Boku) point of view, he is being blamed for a crime he has no memory of.

Es: "If that's true, are you the one who actually committed the murder?"

John: “Yes. It was me.”

But what makes this parallel really interesting to me is not only that they both play into their monster personas and think they have to become the monster. John acts aggressively towards the other prisoners and towards Es in Mikoto’s interrogation in service of protecting Mikoto. He thinks he needs to make himself a scapegoat he needs to make himself the monster that’ll disappear.

Es: “What is–? Mikoto?”

John: (heavy breathing/growling)

Es: (cough) “You… attacked me…? No way… That can’t be…”

John: (more heavy breaths) “Fuck… Fuck…! Stop pissing me off!”

John: “Shut your mouth!”

John: “You keep blabbering on and on… I’m gonna fucking kill you, you piece of shit!”

John: “Going on, and on, and on… all high and mighty… like you aren’t just a kid! Serves you fucking right!”

John: “Huh? I can’t hear you. You’re no more than an unimportant brat.”

John: “Huh?! (laughter) You prefer it when it hurts more, huh? (Es gasps) That’s fine. I’ll beat you up all you want.” —-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-

John: “If it's to protect him (Boku), then I'll do anything.”

—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-

John: “That's right, in the end I (ore) have to vanish. I'll take on everything and vanish. I will.”

And kotoko see’s herself as a necessary evil of sorts. She seems to hate how evil can get away unpunished and how it can bend the laws meant to keep the weak safe to hurt them but she works outside the law and uses similar tactics in service of the weak. (Bribery? , violence , working out side the law ect)

Kotoko “I know it well. It's so hard to hold the responsibility of a guard all alone. I've also felt this way. You are such a kind person.You can't stand the prison changing with the power of your choices. So you need someone to be with. Leave all of the dirty work to me.”

this loops back to have she describes herself as the fangs if the weak. She is a tool , she’ll do the dirty work the weak can’t handle , she’ll become the monster.

They are both self sacrificial , have low self worth and see themselves as existing for the party they wish to protect and as such see becoming the monster as a necessity of their protector role.

—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-

—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-

john: “…Because I (ore) was born to protect him (boku).”

Es: “For that purpose. You were born?”

but even though they still want to be acknowledged as saviours/protectors.

[haunted-ghost-toast]

Deep cover

Original english lyrics (Milgram-Kotoko)

This is the first English cover I’ve made and I’m pretty proud of it for my first time lol. I tried my best to fit all the references in the right spots! I hope to upload more translyrics

‘Under’ - Childish, indulging in one’s weakness.

‘Under’ - obscene, ripping the umbilical, oh,

It’s so stupid, so stupid

Ego trip fantasies, embarrassing!

‘Under’ - relentless, round robin of queen bees

‘Under’ - hopeless, throw down this flower stealer

It’s so stupid, so stupid.

Still screaming - I love you, this is love, don’t leave me!

It’s a fun game of pick and choose. Vote me guilty,

and you’ll see-

(And that’s why) I will play the part of your fangs

The long forgotten lone wolf hero.

Promised words that I made long ago.

And still, you desperately beg me to let it go.

There is no more stopping now

The moral execution that you allowed

I want it, I need it

I will sic-my sharp fangs-on the guilt.

‘Under’ - lying in waste, lying to your face, do you have faith in us?

A child-like, pinky promise kind of magic

It’s so stupid, so stupid

I can’t remember a single thing, double team, double me

‘Under’ - harrowing, mind prison system

‘Under’ - self soothing, meaningless justice

It’s so stupid- so stupid

What will you do when it’s me knocking on your door?

So go ahead and fuel the fire, you’ll see

Stay blind, Tunnel vision on the guilt in me.

You agree that there’s no sympathy

A spade is a spade if you let it be

There is no more stopping now

The moral execution that you allowed

I want it, I need it

I will sic-my sharp fangs-on the guilt.

‘Under’, ‘under’

I won’t wait, the justice that she deserved

I will destroy, that nightmare filled prophecy

It’s so stupid, so stupid

Go on and place all your bets on me

I was willing to become your sharp fangs

A long forgotten lone wolf hero

I etched the promise on my heart long ago

So why do you, why do you beg me to let it go?

There is no more stopping now

The moral execution that you allowed

I want it, I need it

I will sic-my sharp fangs-on the guilt.

I want it, I need it

I will sic-my sharp fangs-on their guilt.

‘Under’ - 01, outbursts that won’t shut up

‘Under’ - 02, another obscene slut

‘Under’ - 04, insecure fake queen

‘Under’ - 05, dissect the truth and come clean

‘Under’ - 07, these lies will tear him in half

‘Under’ - 011, hypocrite warden, why is that?

It’s so stupid, so stupid

Why are they still there, it’s so unfair, I hate it!

*note: I prefer to pronounce it “Oh (insert number of prisoner here)” at the very end!

[genderqueer-miharu]

Ok so for context, yesterday i made a post talking about Kingsleigh's Milgram covers but it then turned into a huge Kotoko analysis post, so i wanted to take that part and make it it's own post so this is what this post is for, a very disorganized analysis on Kotoko, kinglseigh's cover, Harrow and a more elaborated idea on why i think she should get Undead Alice as her cover this trial. You can read the og post if you want but it's really not necessary it's pretty much just me gushing about Kingsleigh's covers.

Anyways, with all that out of the way, here it is:

Cover

Harrow: Ok so remember how i mentioned two days ago that i wanted Kotoko to get Undead Alice as her cover this trial? Well this cover was the main reason i came to that conlusion. It honestly gave a very different perspective on her character and it showed me a side of her i didn't even consider. It's because of this cover that i realized what many lyrics in the song actually meant, i'll compare them:

"Now that I'm prowling through the haze and Crawling through this maze I Can't go back to who i was

Feeling myself fading Burdens i've taken Weigh me down but drive my soul to go on

The evil out there I'm sickened to the core Pick a poison that i've done before"

Original

"Becoming light-headed again, it all becomes crazy

The normalcy sought for, Fading away, Everytime death comes The soul moves forward

I hate all the evils in this world, I feel like I'm about to break The surrounding net covered with poison"

Cover

"Now when a soul is too far gone you do what you got to Put it out of misery

"I'll never do it again" "I didn't mean to do it!" Even when I catch them I just can't win"

Original

"Shall we replace the poor soul, and the miserable delusion

"I didn't mean to offend", "I won't do it again" How many wins in a row?"

Like comparing these lyrics i realized that "the normalcy sought for" and the "poor soul" Kotoko is talking about isn't refering to another person or the evils she's trying to get, they're refering to herself. She's lost herself and abandoned what the concept of justice meant for her in order to catch the people she's hunting, and the "pick a poison" line in the cover drives home the point of her using the bad things she's done before to complete her goal.

These lyrics really make the theme of her storyline being revenge even more clear. And the final bridge of the song as well

Cover

"When I was young HARROW HARROW Why can't I let it go? All of this weight, all of this hate If not for them what can hope for?

The moon is full HARROW HARROW I bare my fangs into a grin and I know how I can win"

Original

"Newly born "HARROW" "HARROW" It's ok to dislike, right? Losing it, losing it, What should I hope for

Goodnight "HARROW" "HARROW" Laugh and I can get to like myself"

The lyrics here made me realize that throughout the song she expresses her doubts with what she's doing. She's using the things the people she deems as "evil" have done in her favor to get what she wants. She believes this is the only thing she can do but doesn't want to admit to herself that she's the same as those people if she uses the same methods they have, so she covers it under the excuse of this being "justice" and tells herself that this is for the better of everyone and that she's actually helping all those poor weak victims who can't protect themselves. She can't admit that she's doing this out of a sense of self-satisfaction and to make herself feel better, so she uses "justice", a concept that she considers corrupt and dead, and uses it in her favor, to disguise what she's doing as being the "right" thing to do, which is represented by the wolf's skin seen at the beggining of Harrow coming back to life once Kotoko looks at the audience.

Kinda similar to how Mahiru fogave Kotoko for what she did by thinking: "Kotoko was doing what she believed in and what she thought was right for her so if i admit that what she did was wrong it'll be like admitting that what i believe in and what i was doing was also wrong", Kotoko probably thinks: "If i admit that what i'm doing is for myself and my own satisfaction and not for justice and to protect other people then it'll be like admitting that i'm the same as those people who do evil". She's killed and buried any doubts may have had with all her vigilante work because she doesn't want to deny herself, she won't allow to doubt herself anymore because if she does then everything she has dedicated a big part of her life will seem meaningless.

Which why i believe Undead Alice would fit her really well especially in this trial.

Especially as a follow up to Anti Beat, which imo touched more on Kotoko's doubts and frustrations with what she was doing, and Undead Alice could showcase her slowly convincing herself more and more that she's in the right and that she shouldn't doubt so much.

"Live by feeding on me, since you can't die even if you want to" Everyone except us is crazy, even though your echo can be heard by everyone

Every time I ask for ideas to hurt myself, I breathe in happiness and breath out poison The ideal junkie, doesn't it feel good that only the two of us are normal?"

She's using ideas and methods that she considers bad and corrupt under when other people use them but she's using them in her favor as well, and she can't admit that what she's doing is wrong, so these things are ok if she uses them against those who do evil. But even if she revives that dead wolf skin, it was still the same wolf to begin with.

"The disease that makes me want to hide to see you, an overflow of a LOW mood because I can't see you

They ended up becoming close, this is torture Starting to hate the butterflies, please die before I kill you"

"The instincts of being good, and the fat of being bad, They ended up becoming close, this is torture Superficial actions have become a habit, I'm dead before I kill myself"

These two lines could highlight her contradicting stances. Her need to deliver justice clashes with the methods she's using, so she kills all these doubts so that they don't weigh her down, which is also highlighted with the main bridge of the song

"It's ok to live for yourself, It's ok to cheat a little It's ok to break it, it's ok to be scared

Let's bury this cowardly love here, Let's stop and forget this

It's easier to hate But it's ok that you chain me down with your love"

It's ok if she uses underhanded methods to get what she wants, it's ok if she uses the same methods the people she's trying to hunt have used, she's doing it for a good cause after all right?

Right...but even with all of this and with how much i may dislike Kotoko, this next part of the song could especially highlight a part of her that she doesn't really show much

Undead Alice

"I thought we would be able to keep dreaming together, just like this But what did your smiling face look like again?

It's an illusion to think that everything will go back to how it was after saying bye bye

This is pretty painful, slice open the chest and crush the heart"

Harrow (Kingsleigh cover)

"Now that I'm prowling through the haze and Crawling through this maze I Can't go back to who i was

Feeling myself fading Burdens i've taken Weigh me down but drive my soul to go on"

Harrow

"Becoming light-headed again, it all becomes crazy

The normalcy sought for, Fading away, Everytime death comes The soul moves forward"

She's dedicated so much of herself to this hunt and her justice that it seems she's lost herself. Thinking about this more i am reminded of the Clock Over Orquestra collab comics. Which i think is important because that's the only time we ever see Kotoko smiling. For once when she's not thinking about her ideas of justice or her plans for revenge she's having fun, she's doing something she likes: excersising, and she's genuinely having a good time, and it just makes me think that...maybe this the side of herself Kotoko lost. She's killed and buried all her doubts about what she was doing, and using them to fuel her hunt. Her "normalcy" has faded away the moment she decided to revive that wolf. Now she can't go back to who she was, even if she misses how she was, she's killed that part, she's buried that other her, she's done all of this for her goals, and if she doesn't achieve them then all the she's discarded, all the time, her morals, her regret, her self, all of that...would've been for nothing.

Anywayyyyys it's kinda weird how long this got but um. Yeah. Please go kingsleigh's covers

[givemeanaccountalready]

I have been informed that Milgram had changed the Youtube subtitles for the third anniversary. Here are the original lyrics followed by the new lyrics.

Haruka: "If you forgive this sin, you're as good as an accomplice / I'm alone and lovely, please give me love" -> “If you say INNOCENT, you’re complicit and weak / I’m so lonesome, please love me” Yuno: "I feel emptiness inside me, we agreed to seek each other out / I wish I could do something about it, FUTURE" -> “My cord is being pulled but nothing’s ever enough / Contractual desires, oh what to do, FUTURE” Fuuta: "I am playing hide and seek from the sin I committed / you should all just give up and shut up" -> “Hiding and seeking from sin / Bring it, submit, and also shut your trap” Muu: "I always have a broken heart / when will it stop aching?" -> “Clutching a broken heart / The pain’s still there, after all this time” Shidou: "Which will you choose / to deceive or to be the deceiver" -> “Which way will you throw down your weight / To be the deceived, or the deceiver” Mahiru: "I don't just want to give / both giving and receiving are good things" -> “I don’t wanna just give / Giving and taking, this is how to be in love” Kazui: "I keep on seeing dreams / I am always indecisive, I can't be saved" -> “I just keep on dreaming / half in, half out, I’m doomed” Amane: "Just need to believe / there is no reason to break a promise" -> “The magic is in believing / There is no righteousness in broken promises” Mikoto: "Don't lie about me / what did I do?" -> “Don’t you lie about Me / Me, I’ve done nothing wrong” Kotoko: "Dedicating my life / there is something I want to remove" -> “Dedicating my life / Harrowing, burying the thing I want erased”

And yeah... I've been bamboozled a bit. I don't know Japanese, so I'm relying on translations from other people. I wasn't sure how trustworthy the wiki site for Milgram was, so I went with the subtitles in the "Undercover" video. I found these lyrics online, and whaddya know, they do match what the wiki says.

I'm still curious as to when "Undercover" was extracted. The vibes between the original lyrics and the new ones match. Except for Mikoto and Amane's lines, the information presented isn't really things you would get from a first impression. Fuuta and Kotoko aren't people to admit to weakness; Fuuta's hiding from his sin and Kotoko admitting there is something about her she wants to remove. Mahiru and Kazui's lines are something you could glean from their respective voice dramas, while Yuno and Muu's come from their videos; all of which didn't happen until after "Undercover" presumably happens. Shidou sounds shady both times, and I still think Milgram wanted Haruka to get guilty in the first trial because his lines damn us for forgiving him in both versions.

Oh, and I looked at the chorus and Milgram seems to have changed that too! Here are the lyrics from the wiki:

"'Scramble for life' / Dissecting our thoughts while asking 'why' / Looking for mistakes in overtime / You get to know them and then tie them with their EGO / Can you really judge them? / The border between 'Hate' vs. 'OK' / Is it really ok to be done with deciding with just your EGO? / Will you be able to forgive them after listening to their sins?"

And here is what the subtitles say now:

"Take, grab, steal / dissect the thoughts of 'Why' / Looking for mistakes in overtime / To know someone, to bind them to their EGO / Can you really judge them? / The borderline between 'Hate' and 'OK' / Shouldn't you look beyond your EGO, before it all ends? / After knowing all, I wonder / Can you really say innocent?"

Granted, I do prefer the dramatic second take on the lyrics to the original, but I think they're the result of Kotoko going ham between trials 1 and 2, causing conflicts that raised the stakes dramatically. Regardless, the vibes of the original lyrics still support my theory that either Es may have known something about the prisoners before getting their mind wiped, or that this video took place after the trials finished or after the first trial concluded.

"Undercover" Makes Me Suspect Things

I went into watching "Undercover" thinking I could make a fun analysis post, and now I just have a Tumblr post with enough red string that I could make scarlet letters for all the Milgram prisoners.

Let me just address the elephant in the room: I understand that Es's "Undercover" probably just serves as a hook to get people's attention and that I am probably reading too much into this. But consider this, wouldn't it be great if I'm right? Now, right about what exactly?

Well, namely, I think Es's song is either a prophecy/warning, or it was not extracted until the three trials ended or at least after the first trial concluded because Es seems to know far more than they should about the prisoners if this song was extracted after the first day of Milgram when Es and Jackalope's voice drama took place.

Now, “Undercover” is very fast, and even at 0.25x speed, I constantly had to rewind and pause to take screenshots. A picture is worth a thousand words and holy guacamole, there were so many frames. To be honest, even if I don’t have the words for everything, I will be showing off what I found to be the most interesting.

The Song Extraction Device & the Panopticon:

First, I want to get into the Song Extraction Device (SED). We know from Jackalope’s “This is Milgram” that the SED can pull mental images from a person’s mind and turn them into a music video. Thanks to Jackalope, we also know the SED can’t pull them all in one go, hence the three trials. Jackalope also states that the verdict of a trial will affect what the SED will pull in the succeeding trial. In the opening and closing shots of "Undercover" we can see that 000 is stamped in its red button/latch.

When I rewatched the “This is Milgram” video, you can see the rooms in the Panopticon spinning on the projection board. In the first voice drama with Es and Jackalope, “Es”, Jackalope tells Es to think of the Panopticon as a clock, with the entrance being the 12 o’clock position and the prisoner rooms being the rest of the corresponding numbers. You can see the room numbers on each room. The first room moving clockwise from the entrance is 001, but the first room moving counterclockwise from the entrance is 000, not 011.

In “Es”, Es asks if there was someone in that room at the 11th o’clock position. They even note that the door looked even older than the others thanks to the rust, and it didn’t even have a lock like the others. Jackalope tells Es not to worry, and before Es can even respond, a bell rings, and Jackalope diverts the conversation by announcing that the prisoners should be waking up soon.

The normal pattern is voice drama, then musical number, but to be honest, I don't know for 100% certainty if the voice drama came before the musical number. I would assume so, but you know what they say about assuming. It would be interesting if Es, because they are different from the ten prisoners, had a musical number and then woke up to have their voice drama with Jackalope. The 000 room is very suspicious to me. It's the oldest room, and if it used to be Es's, then that is a point to the Es is the eleventh prisoner theory. My only point detracting from the Es is the eleventh prisoner theory is that Es didn't get a second song during the second trial like the ten prisoners receiving. That, and besides the amnesia, what made Es so special that Milgram inducted them into their odd prison? Did Es prevent a murder?

Bookend Frames & Chalk Es:

Let’s kick things off with the bookends. We open up on Es walking towards the SED with Jackalope following him, and then the song closes with only Jackalope in view.

Bookends are a framing device primarily used to link the beginning and end of a story in a satisfying way. The ending can be a word for word copy of the beginning, or it can be a mirror of the beginning.

The most obvious mirror moment is the beginning shot ending on the SED opening up and the ending shot starting on the SED closing. The location of both shots are the same and the fog seems to be about the same amount and concentrated in the same area in both shots. Jackalope is on the viewer’s left at the start, facing the viewer, and then at the end, he’s on the viewer’s right with his back towards the viewer. But Es is gone.

Where is my child cop, Jackalope?

Let’s focus on the opening shot. We have Es and Jackalope entering from the viewer’s left, which is stage right. While I was trying to get a good shot of the two in the opening, I noticed that Jackalope spends a considerable amount of time in the fog compared to Es. It could just be that Es is considerably bigger than our most honorable warden, Jackalope, and that the mist is heavily concentrated on stage right. Since Es has amnesia, perhaps the fog he walks through is literal brain fog or just the intrigue of Milgram in general. Intrigue fits why Jackalope is so hidden in the beginning. It's not deep or hidden, but it is nice and straightforward.

Right before the third chorus, Es sings, “losers please exit left.” Did Es exit stage left from the frame? Did Jackalope follow him across the stage but didn’t step offstage? But here is what really skeeves me out about Es not being in the ending. The song ends after the last chorus, and once Es finished the third and final chorus, we see what looks like a chalk outline of Es. Es is not wearing their full prison guard uniform. Their hat and cape/cloak are missing.

Now, chalk Es first has their back turned to us and is watching the prisoner montage. Their silhouette is hazy at first, but it becomes more clear as the montage continues. And then they turn around. I don't know what causes Es to turn around, but they look like they are trying to figure out what caught their attention. Then, what seems to be a spotlight directly overhead turns on, blinding Es so they shut their eyes. They bring up their hand to their eyes and they open them again. Their eyes adjust, and they make something out. Whatever it is/was, it appears to have surprised or shocked Es.

Now, Es isn't exactly stoic. They're very touchy about their role as prison warden, and they become very agitated whenever the prisoners throw them for a loop. But chalk Es doesn't lash out like Es does in the voice dramas. They may not have had the time to react, but even when Orekoto was beating the crap out of them, Es was still taunting him. Something definitely caught chalk Es off-guard. The question is what exactly is capable of rendering him silent.

I think it has to do with whoever is running Milgram. We know Es relies on social hierarchies to maintain a sense of control. They lash out when the prisoners, their social inferiors, disrupt that hierarchy and act familiar with them. I don't think Es would lash out if it was their superior in Milgram. Es can be short with Jackalope and even tease him, but they tend to take Jackalope at his word, albeit with exasperation for the not-rabbit's antics. Perhaps, it's not a superior calling for Es's attention, but something Milgram is doing to the prisoners. Something that goes against his firm belief that Milgram is all-good.

The Prisoners & the Choruses

While the lyrics played over the prisoners aren’t directly pulled from their respective Trial 1 songs themselves, all of them reference the titles to their respective Trial 1 songs (see bold).

I only highlighted one of Kazui's "half"s since it was not doubled like MeMe was for Mikoto.

The information presented in each two line sets is not something Es could have known before the trials began. Es can only remember their name and age. This is what got me thinking that maybe "Undercover" takes place between the first and second trials, or after all the trials had been completed. At first, I thought maybe "Undercover" took place before the three trials had even started, and this was what Milgram was erasing from Es's mind: his knowledge of what they had done. Because during the third and final chorus, we see the prisoners 'kill' Es just like how they killed their victims. Did Es learn of their crimes and had to have his memories removed to ensure a fair three trials? Or is this even the first time these prisoners have been tried through Milgram's system?

Here are the two line sets overlaid on the prisoners during their respective mugshot montage.

Haruka: “If you say INNOCENT, you’re complicit and weak / I’m so lonesome, please love me”

Yuno: “My cord is being pulled but nothing’s ever enough / Contractual desires, oh what to do”

Fuuta: “Hiding and seeking from sin / Bring it, submit, and also shut your trap”

Muu: “Clutching a broken heart / The pain’s still there, after all this time”

Shidou: “Which way will you throw down your weight / To be the deceived, or the deceiver”

Mahiru: “I don’t wanna just give / Giving and taking, this is how to be in love”

Kazui: “I just keep on dreaming / half in, half out, I’m doomed”

Amane: “The magic is in believing / There is no righteousness in broken promises”

Mikoto: “Don’t you lie about Me / Me, I’ve done nothing wrong”

Kotoko: “Dedicating my life / Harrowing, burying the thing I want erased”

During the third chorus of the song, we get a rapid sequence of frames that are supposed to clue us in to each prisoner’s murder. But what I did not notice during my previous viewings was that the expressions and the positions of the prisoners during the first chorus change to something different in the second chorus.

Haruka & Yuno:

Fuuta & Mu:

Shidou & Mahiru:

Kazui & Amane:

Mikoto & Kotoko:

You can see that the lyrics overlaid on the prisoners in the first and second choruses match, but that may just be luck on my part. Or maybe it means something, I don't know anymore.

Something clearly happened between the first and second choruses. I think that the first chorus images were the prisoners' reactions to being dropped into Milgram, but what caused their second chorus expressions? Is this supposed to be their reactions to being moved out of Milgram? Something is clearly happening, and they are restrained. Kazui looks like he is avoiding a hit while Kotoko is rearing up to charge full-steam ahead. They're both the heavy hitters of the ten prisoners. Amane, the youngest, smallest, and weakest prisoner, is stumbling backwards like she was hit or she was scared enough to try and retreat from harm's way. The remaining prisoners look scared and/or worried. What exactly is going on here? Is something happening to them? Or to Es? Mikoto (must be Bokuto) and Mahiru are leaning over like they are checking up on someone. Are they escaping? Do we get an escape musical number to conclude the series? How baller would that be?

Very, but in all seriousness, something is up. There's just something about "Undercover" that is making me pause. This very well could all be useless speculation, and "Undercover" is canon in the way that the timeline conversations are canon without actually aging the characters.

TL;DR: Milgram is sus, and come the conclusion of this series, I have a <2% chance of being vindicated.

[queen-of-bel]

Throwing together all of my Fuuta thoughts/theories into one post now that Backdraft has been out for a couple days and I’ve watched it probably no less than 800 times by now.

Before I hop into the murder, I want to point out a few things about Fuuta’s personality that are important to understand. The first is about his family life. He implies that his mother left him and his father, saying that he doesn’t remember much about his mother since his parents divorced. He then goes on to insult his father, calling him a “weak, pathetic fogey”. He also seems to be pretty lonely in real life, as he’s always shown alone in Bring It On.

Both this loneliness and his dislike of showing weakness drives what I believe to be his desire to have a bold outward persona— an idealized self that is a brave leader who enacts justice and defends the weak. In both Bring It On and Backdraft, we see this concept of Fuuta having two senses of self.

In Backdraft, after Fuuta reflects on his guilty vote, he sees another, more confident version of himself approaching his victim, Killcheroy.

Another thing to consider is that in Bring It On, the knight version of Fuuta has certain physical characteristics changed. In real life, Fuuta is really short (165 cm/5’4), wears baggy clothes, and covers most of his face with a mask. However, his knight version is clearly just as tall, if not taller, than his peers, wears tight-fitting armor, and his face is completely unobstructed.

Fuuta wants us to believe that he’s fearless, that he jumps into these situations with nothing but courage in his heart and at the end of the day, he’s a hero. But in reality, he's a timid, cowardly person and he knows it.

In Backdraft, we see that he has trouble keeping up his "brave defender of justice" persona, with his lip quivering before eventually grinning.

I think that this persona can help explain the order of the prisoners that we see in Backdraft. It seems to be that the closer the prisoner is to Fuuta, the higher his opinion is of them, or perhaps it signifies how comfortable he is with them.

It makes sense that Haruka is right next to Fuuta, as Fuuta has said from the beginning that he feels he needs to look out for Haruka since Haruka is younger. If we look at who the last prisoners are, Kotoko is at the end (for obvious reasons), but Kazui is even further past Kotoko.

It may seem odd that the man who stopped the woman from nearly murdering Fuuta would be last on the list, but given how much Fuuta hates being perceived as weak, I think that he just genuinely feels ashamed around Kazui. It’s nothing against Kazui specifically, but all of a sudden Fuuta has become the very person he hates— “weak and pathetic”. Kazui has seen him in his most vulnerable state, and that’s just something that Fuuta cannot stand.

Speaking of this lineup, I think it’s also interesting that Muu is so close to him, especially considering that there haven’t been many Muu/Fuuta interactions in Milgram so far. That being said, Muu was a victim of extreme bullying, and Fuuta views himself as a defender of justice, so it’s reasonable to assume that Muu is someone Fuuta sympathizes with.

This leads me to the million dollar question that everyone is dying to know. What exactly did Killcheroy do?

I made a post about this recently, but tldr; I think Killcheroy was posting pictures of someone without their permission with the intent of bullying/harassing them. Killcheroy keeps bringing up these loopholes as to why it’s okay for her to post the photo, but the fact that she needs to bring up these loopholes means that this picture really shouldn’t be on the internet in the first place, and she knows it.

Fuuta is also very harsh towards Killcheroy, saying that she’s not going to get off easy just because she’s a middle school student. When you consider that the last person Fuuta went after was a sexual harasser, it makes me think that Killcheroy is engaging in some really bad behavior, and bullying seems like just the thing that would provoke such a strong response from Fuuta.

This is also where Fuuta starts really fucking up.

I believe that Fuuta decided to do the classic “eye for an eye” route, and posted a picture of the girl’s house online. We see in Bring It On that he says it was easy to figure out where she lives, and in Undercover, we see him taking a photo of a house.

In Backdraft as well, when he spray paints over the cartoon of Killcheroy, he leaves her face visible for everyone to see. I think this signifies him doxxing her in a way that he hasn’t done before with other people he’s gone after in the past.

Killcheroy leaned pretty heavily on the “it’s just a picture!” excuse, so I think that’s probably how Fuuta justified posting the picture of her house.

It’s also worth noting that the amount of paint Fuuta used for Killcheroy in Backdraft is significantly less than the amount of paint he used for the other people, which means that Fuuta may have… gone easy on Killcheroy? I really think he just wanted her to see what it felt like when people post personal pictures without consent, but didn’t think anything much would come from it, which is why he immediately walks away without looking back, as he did with the other paintings.

What he didn’t expect was the amount of people who would join in.

This is another reason I think Killcheroy was a bully. Bullying is one of the worst things that a child can do, and people always love when a bully gets what’s coming to them. It would explain why the internet descended so quickly onto Killcheroy and vilified her. As soon as we see people ganging on Killcheroy, we immediately see Fuuta becoming scared of what he’s done.

Now everyone is harassing this young girl who did something bad, but she didn’t deserve to get this much hate from so many strangers. He begins questioning his actions, as we can see with the lyrics changing from “burn, burn!” to “burn, burn?”

Unfortunately for Fuuta, things are about to get much worse.

We see Killcheroy choking before eventually crumbling away, signifying her death. However, I don’t think that she took her own life. The main reason I believe this is because when we see Fuuta’s murder reenacted with Es, Es’ shoes are still on, implying that Killcheroy did not commit suicide (unlike Mahiru’s and Kazui’s victims, both of whom have Es’ shoes removed during the reenactment).

What I think happened instead is that someone physically went to Killcheroy’s house, and set it ablaze, either intentionally or accidentally. We have a lot of fire/burning symbolism all throughout Fuuta’s trials that just hasn’t been accounted for yet, and if Killcheroy didn’t kill herself, then her dying in a house fire makes the most sense.

One more thing I want to touch on is how Fuuta views his own involvement in Killcheroy’s death. While he hasn’t completely come around to the idea that he caused it, he is certainly less adamant than he was in the first trial. On the website for his S2 voice lines, he actually says “I’m not guilty… I think.”

This is a stark contrast to his S1 voice lines where he says

“Murderer? That’s not my fault. That’s not me. I didn’t kill someone. Right? Isn’t that right?”

This question to Es is repeated in his first voice drama:

“That’s stupid. I haven’t killed anyone. I didn’t kill anyone. … I didn’t. I … didn’t, right?”

Instead of looking to Es to validate his “innocence”, as he was in the first trial, Fuuta is now tackling his denial in a way we never have seen him do before. It’s no longer about Es viewing Fuuta as guilty or not. It’s Fuuta himself openly challening his view that he’s innocent. It’s a small step, but it is a step in the right direction.

He also says in the S2 voice lines: “What I did could have had absolutely nothing to do with that person’s death - you don’t know!”

Again, this isn’t a complete admission of guilt, but by saying “could have”, it implies that he’s aware there is a chance that his actions led to someone’s death, and he no longer is saying it’s impossible that he’s killed someone.

Another thing I find interesting is the “moribound” line in Backdraft. In the Chinese translation, it actually was translated to something along the lines of “I was involved in death”, with the “I” part explicitly stated. If this translation is accurate, then this would mark the first time Fuuta admits he’s involved with Killcheroy’s death, even though he still is denying any fault in it.

I really hope Fuuta is voted to be forgiven overall. He did something really stupid, but it wasn’t malicious. He started showing fear and guilt the moment that people started piling on Killcheroy, proving that he didn’t just feel bad once he learned someone died. Even the official Milgram website says that he’s a timid but good person. I still think he deserved the first unforgivable vote, but he’s ultimately still a salvageable person.

[onigiriico]

Haruka audio drama (t2) - English TL

[ audio drama on Spotify here ]

IT’S DONEEE- finally the audio drama is here, and boy is it a ride 😂 I tried to get this one out as fast as I could even if it took a bit longer than I would have liked thanks to time zones,, but here it is now lmao

As always, if you know Japanese & find any mistranslations, want to use this translation for something, or just have questions, feel free to send me an ask or reach out to me on Twitter!

⬇️ translation under the cut ⬇️

(door opens)

E: [Sorry] I’ve kept you waiting, Haruka.

H: Ah… hello. It kind of feels like it’s been a while, doesn’t it, Warden-san?

E: Yeah. It does. (steps closer)

H: Things have gotten kind of tough, haven’t they? Even the atmosphere within Milgram has completely changed in this… second trial, [I think] it’s called? 

E: I heard Kotoko has done some unbelievable things… (deep breath) How’s the situation with the others?

H: Futa and Mahiru-san seem to be having a hard time, since they’re injured.

E: …

H: Ah, um, since it’s a situation like this, we’re all staying close to Shidou-san. Kotoko-san is the only one who is acting on her own.

E: …Oh?

H: A-ah, um… Kotoko-san said she currently had no intention of attacking anyone, so Shidou-san and Kazui-san had cea– ceasefire negotiations, they called it? With her…

E: Ah…

H: U-um… is something the matter, warden-san?

E: You… Are you really Haruka Sakurai?

H: Eh? Wh-what are you saying? It is me! But everyone has been telling me that recently – that I’ve changed.

E: Yeah. When I think back to how you were trembling in fear back during the first trial… you sure have gotten bolder.

H: (giggles)

E: I don’t know whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing though…

H: (laughs) If I’ve changed, then I’m glad! Up until now, I’ve always really hated myself, that’s why…

E: Hm?

H: A-ah, I think the reason I’ve become like this is because I had two benefactors, and one of them is you, Warden-san, so–

E: Huh?

H: I wanted to thank you, Warden-san!

E: Thank me?

H: Because you forgave me, Warden-san!

E: …

H: Because you told me that what I did wasn’t wrong…! That’s what changed me! I was saved by you, Warden-san…

E: You’re saying that I… saved you? Is this what Kotoko was talking about? Me becoming the instance offering forgiveness…

H: U-uhm…?

E: Well. If you’ve become more courageous, that’s a good thing… or is it?

H: It is. I felt uneasy about it this whole time… Someone as worthless as me having killed someone to gain attention, and a person who surely had more worth and more of a future than me, at that… But it turns out that I did nothing wrong after all! It wasn’t wrong of me to kill her! There was never anything for me to worry about…!

E: Oh?

H: It felt so strange…! Warden-san, you forgave me so, so much, it felt like a whole lot of people had accepted me! Ahhh… it was the first time I ever felt something like that…

E: (sighs) …Haruka Sakurai.

H: Huh?

E: You have killed a person. Surely out of a deeply personal reason - a person who was young and weak. Is that right?

H: …

E: Did you kill animals too? Well, it’s not like I approve of that, but since Milgram deals specifically with you having killed people, let’s leave that aside. …No, or is that also just my personal opinion…?

H: U-um, what are you…?

E: Ah, sorry. I got distracted from the main problem. What I meant to say was: How can a murderer like you make a face like you were just saved?

H: Huh?

E: This is only about the results of the first trial. This doesn’t go beyond what information I have gathered so far and what I have deduced from it. And yet – what are you murderer even hearing?

H: …

E: And also. Me, having saved you? That thought alone is a stretch. (laughs) Ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. …And even moreso, I hate the idea of it.

H: …!

E: Your murder still isn’t fully solved. In that sense, the way you’re acting right now is simply wrong.

H: …!

E: Don’t get ahead of yourself. It’s all good and well that you’ve changed, but your past self might just have been smarter.

H: Ugh…! Why? Why, why, why are you saying things like that?!

E: …!

H: It’s weird! You said you forgave me, Warden-san! It’s weird for you to tell me that I’m wrong now!

E: …

H: Argh— it’s weird! It’s weird!!

E: Pipe down! You’re hurting my ears.

H: …You’re mean. You’re mean… I– I-I can kill any being that’s smaller than me, you know!

E: (laughs) You sure have developed an attitude. Go ahead and try. Idiot.

H: Don’t… make fun of me…! (he moves to attack Es, but gets stopped by the barrier) Gh… my body… won’t move…!

E: Is your memory that bad? Violence from the prisoners towards the warden is prohibited. Well… with one exception.

H: Gh…!

E: Did you kill her by strangling her like that? Someone who was that much smaller and weaker than yourself, to make matters worse?

H: Shut up–!

(Es slaps him)

E: I hit you as punishment for being an idiot. Maybe this will help remind you of your original intent.

H: … I'm not an idiot…!

E: You are, idiot! I don't dislike idiots who know their place, but as you are, you're a cocky idiot [instead]. Just looking at you makes me sick. Idiot, idiot.

H: You’re mean…!

E: Sure I am. Anyways, calm down [for now], Haruka. Your past self would've been a lot more cooperative right now.

H: (sniffles)

E: Hmm, I see. I’m starting to understand why Milgram is separated into three trials. All of you are- no, humans in general are dependent on others validating their existence. Any statements and actions can greatly change things for them.

H: Huh…?

E:  So the judgment I give to you will cause ripples like a stone thrown into a body of water, and reveal things I wasn’t able to see previously… Haruka, because I affirmed your beliefs, I got a deeper insight on you[r case]. Even if I don’t have much of a grasp on your current self, it’s still undeniably part of your true nature – one of the things that I’m here to figure out.

H: Warden-san… I don't understand what you're talking about this whole time…!

E: I won't say that it was a wrong of me to forgive you. But this does mean that I'll have to keep a closer eye on you from now on.

H: Even though you said you forgive me…

E: It was said from the beginning that this is a three-trial system.

H: Why are you bullying me like this?

E: I'm not bullying you. I'm simply trying to find out whether I should forgive you or not – and by extension, whether your actions were wrong or not.

H: There's no way it was wrong! If I hadn't done it, nobody would have looked at me!

E: You killed to gain attention? The you who was never loved by anyone?

H: That’s right! Because if I just remained a good-for-nothing, nobody would ever care about me!

E: Just because of that, someone—

H: Aren't I the only unlucky person here?! Because I'm the only one who could never do anything [right] since I was born, because I could never do the same things as everyone around me, my mother gave up on me and I stopped existing in her world!

E: And you believe that killing someone because of that was the right thing to do?

H: I don't know! Then what should I have done, in your opinion? Even after taking away what was most important to her, my mother still wouldn't show any interest in me! Are you saying that I should have given up on myself as well? Are you saying I should've been the only one to do that…?

E: Rest assured, Haruka. Taking your circumstances and your feelings into consideration, I'll judge—

H: As I thought. Warden-san, you're not my mother at all.

E: Huh? Never have been.

H: Yeah…? Yeah, right, everyone only has one mother. The mother who never looked at me wasn't my mother either.

E: What are you saying?

H: (laughs)

E: You're pretty scary, you know.

H: Haa… I'm sorry, Warden-san. For causing you trouble.

E: …

H: My mother was Muu-san all along.

E: Huh?

H: Muu-san is my mother.

E: I don't think that’s right.

H: It is, though?

E: Is that really something you can deny…

H: Muu-san praises me. The useless me… She praises me, acknowledges me, looks at me, and she needs me. My current self only exists thanks to Muu-san.

E: You did say that you had two benefactors. So the other one was Muu, huh?

H: That’s right. As long as Muu-san is there, I feel like there's a meaning to me coming to Milgram.

E: …

H: I've met my real mother, so I'm happy. I'm sorry for causing problems earlier. I need to be a good boy – for Muu-san's sake as well.

E: This is… the needs and interests of the prisoners lining up with each other… Something like this can happen too…? Haruka desires a mother, but what could it be that Muu wants from him…?

(machinery whirrs, bell rings)

E: It’s time, huh? Tch. There's too much new information, I can't keep up!

H: U-um, I'm sorry, kind of…

E: Suddenly acting all well-mannered…! Is there anything left that you want to say?

H: U-uh, something I want to say… something I want to say…

E: If there's nothing, that's fine.

H: …No, there is something…

E: What is it?

H: Warden-san, Muu-san is afraid of Milgram. Please don’t scare Muu-san any more.

E: You’re worrying about a stranger in this kind of situation?

H: Yes. Please forgive Muu-san next time as well.

E: You sure are asking something of me here. Viewing Muu as your mother is great and all, but she might only be kind to you in order to use you, you know.

H: So what about it?

E: …

H: So what if she’s using me? Isn’t it a good thing to be used? For someone to think of me as worthy enough to use me… isn’t that something to be happy about?

E: Haruka… you…

H: If you don’t forgive Muu-san, I’m going to kill you.

E: You really have no learning ability whatsoever. You can’t kill me.

H: Ah, right… Then… I’ll die.

E: You…!

H: Was that forbidden [as well]?

E: Not as far as I remember!

H: (laughs) See! I’m not an idiot, right?

E: Ugh, I’ll correct myself. You’re a real, gigantic dumbass!

H: That’s right. Ever since I was born.

E: Prisoner no.1, Haruka - sing your sins!

[archivalofsins]

Recently, I said I wouldn’t be discussing Kotoko’s case. Mostly because I believe I’ve already interrogated everything regarding the information provided already.  

However, I never said I wouldn’t discuss her ideology.  

So, let’s talk about Kotoko’s ideology and why she’s pivotal to Milgram’s progression and Jackalope says this,

Firstly,

What about Kotoko is too good to be true?

Well, her ideology of course. It fits far too well with what Milgram is trying to examine. Something the experiment the series gets its name from tentatively touched on. Fascism.

Particularly the Milgram experiment was done to,

CommonLit | The Milgram Experiment: X

Now I feel it's important to say out of the gate that by bringing this up I'm not stating I believe Kotoko is a nazi. While fascism has ties to Nazism not all fascists are nazis.

I'm toeing the line here and trying to use extremely specific wording as not to be misinterpreted. Because simply boiling down Kotoko's character to that concept alone would be a disservice.

When it comes to discussing Kotoko's ideology and how we've interpreted it I feel it's important for others to understand and recognize that fascism does not exist in a convenient vacuum where one can always tell that it is that from a glance. Poison comes in many forms and sometimes it can taste delicious going down.

One could frankly assume by me saying Kotoko has a fascist ideology that means I'm saying/believe she's a nazi. Because people tend to like to attach terms with things, they already have a firm understanding of and nazis are the most prominent type of fascists.

Many may go well I can tell a fascist when I see one. I wouldn't be tricked into falling for or supporting that sort of mindset. I have a firm understanding of right and wrong. I'd never knowingly support someone who's an exclusionist, bully, homophobic, ableist etc. Because I know better.

However, that's hard for me to believe from an outsider perspective considering Kotoko did have the highest Innocent verdict of trial one.

Firmly affirming that her crime was forgivable. That and by proxy her ideology that people who offend will always be offenders and there's no room for redemption or reform regardless of the scale of the transgression was correct.

Something she goes to no lengths to hide during her first trial song.

"I can’t forgive the evil hurting the weak."- "I hate all the evils in this world, I feel like I’m about to break." -"I’ll teach you the pain you caused. It’s a tie after saying sorry? What are you hoping for? Shall we replace the poor soul, and the miserable delusion. "I didn’t mean to offend”, “I won’t do it again” How many wins in a row?"

Milgram goes further making it clear through Jackalope in the second trial commencement notice and Mahiru's second interrogation that Kotoko's actions are heavily tied to her beliefs and ideology. Something she cannot let go of. If one were to just compare Kotoko's mentality to that of Nazism the focus would simply go to the idea that she is protecting the weak. Something that those sorts of fascists weren't known for doing.

This is why I'm making a point to state I don't believe Kotoko is a nazi and I do believe she thinks her actions are having a positive impact. However, I believe the ideals she shapes her actions around directly align with and can be labeled as fascist.

One of the reasons why fascism is so insidious and easy to fall into is because it can take many forms and look right up until the moment it begins to negatively impact the person viewing it.

This is why there's been so many videos on the concept and how to recognize it.

The Philosophy of Antifa | Philosophy Tube One hour and seven minutes and five seconds long.

Triumph of the Will, or, "Yes, You Might Be a Fascist" | Cinema Antifa Time 11:29 to 19:11. Twenty-two minutes and fifty-three seconds overall. The part time stamped goes over a list of features that tend to crop up when fascism is being applied. I'll go into that list later but yeah Kotoko's behavior and some of her second song's lyrics align well with this list.

Overall fascism isn't synonymous or specific to one movement. It is just an ideology and practice that can be shaped to fit the means the individual using it are trying to achieve.

"From the beginning I've never asked for your understanding! My actions, one by one, are bringing earth closer to peace. Useless weaklings should just shut up and let me protect them!"

It's also telling that her first song Harrow is about her protecting the weak from the evil. Yet her second trailer voice line is her lashing out at the weak. Meaning the weak are only important to her if they are able to be used to support or excuse what she wishes to do already.

Secondly,

Can you prove Kotoko has an ideology? And if so how do you know for sure it's fascist one?

When it comes to the f-word or any forms of isms. No one really likes to consider it outside of its more popularly known application. At points people may even default to believing that the word is meaningless. Stating that the word has been over applied and connected to almost everything at this point.

However, not everybody who doesn't get along with people who happen to have different religious beliefs, ethnic backgrounds, sexualities, or genders is a bigot. Sometimes people just don't get along. Just because people fight sometimes, or one person jumps another, it doesn't mean it's motivated by any external biases.

People can argue and it not be that deep.

However, that's not the case with Kotoko and Milgram blatantly states this.

Jackalope bluntly stating that he's,

"Never seen anyone so ideological and aggressive."

Why do I think Kotoko's ideology is fascism?

Okay , okay. So, there's some evidence and downright statements that Kotoko's behavior may be the result of her ideological beliefs. So, some could accept that she has an ideology but does having an ideology alone make a person a fascist?

People are entitled to their own beliefs after all.

Well, firstly with the way Amane's verdict is veering into Guilty-

No, they're not and consistent voters have made that abundantly clear.

Amane's case is kind of sad when you think about it in conjunction with this information. Because the voters are actively persecuting her for having religious beliefs that deviate from the standard while voting someone who could, and I believe does have this ideology Innocent. Possibly even doing so twice in a row.

Something I feel would really highlight how history is doomed to repeat itself in perpetuity if people fail to remember and engage with it critically. However, I'm getting ahead of myself.

Pettiness aside-

It's not as though Milgram was really trying to hide Kotoko's ideology. People just extended an immense amount of the benefit of the doubt with her case and took a lot of things at face value.

Milgram put her ideology on full display right out of the gate and has continued to.

From having Jackalope comment this,

"Prisoner 10, Kotoko. You can tell just from her aura that she’s not your everyday person…… You come across people like that sometimes."

To highlighting how she views those who do not agree with her as inhuman and those who'd agree with her as genuine human beings.

X

Q.03 Do you think any other prisoners who committed the same sin as you deserve to be forgiven?

Kotoko: Of course. Haven’t I already said that I believe my actions have been correct?

Through doing this she creates a us vs them situation where if someone were to say she was wrong they'd be the wrong one. However, unlike with Amane and Futa this actually worked for her.

"Eat this! Don’t act like you have no idea! We won’t forgive you! You’re the crazy one! Ban-Ba-Bang!"

"If you claim what I did was a mistake. I believe you are the one in the wrong."

Q.09 Which of the other prisoners do you think resembles you the most?

Kotoko: That’s a hard one. I’m only able to answer based on my guess on what they did. But I think the one that probably resembles me the most is Futa? Though he’s also the person who resembles me the least.

"I won’t stop until you say “sorry”!" - "It’s a tie after saying sorry? What are you hoping for?"

Milgram has been doing everything in its power to highlight Kotoko's ideological beliefs at this point without blatantly turning to the camera and yelling what they are. Even though it did that too in a way.

Well okay fine she thinks people who believe she was wrong aren't human but like you pointed out the others have voiced that if we view their behavior as wrong then we're the ones who are incorrect. Plus, someone would have to be a very inconsiderate, uncompassionate person to think she should have just let things continue as they were. It makes sense for Kotoko to believe that anyone who would persecute her for protecting others is wrong or inhumane. What should she have done, just ignore it? All these systemic failings and wrongs?

"I can’t forgive the evil hurting the weak. It’s unforgivable, I won’t allow it, I sweared."

Q.12 What is your motto?

Kotoko: “There’s no other way that could let us live, so I walk this path.” [TN: Quote from Mushanokouji Saneatsu.]

I too can quote people known for writing news articles in support of the second world war and being the younger brother of the Japanese Ambassador of Nazi Germany from memory.

A perfectly normal thing to be able to quote off the top of one's head verbatim.

No, red flags or dog whistles here.

Alright well that is odd, but it could be highly coincidental. That guy is a well-known writer and poet after all.

Besides Kotoko's focus is on protecting the weak from the evils of the world. The most well-known example of fascism is the exact opposite of that. They showed clear disdain towards disabled people, people who didn't practice the same religion as them, and people who did not look like them.

They were judgmental exclusionists who didn't care about anyone outside of their in group.

Kotoko isn't-

21/10/24 (Shidou’s Birthday) Shidou: ……oh, Yuzuriha-kun. It’s unusual so see you around this early. Wishing me a happy birthday…… probably isn’t the what you’re here for, huh. Kotoko: No, it is. Happy birthday, Shidou. Though it’s not like I bought you a present or anything. But while I’m here, I’d also like to ask you something. Has anything changed for you recently? Having nightmares, hearing voices, feeling anxious…… anything like that. Shidou: Not especially, no. ……ah, so this is about how Kajiyama-kun and Shiina-kun have been strange recently? And she’s been trying to hide it, but Amane too…… We’ve been living in these conditions for a while…… it’s not unusual for there to be an impact on us mentally. Are you worried about them? You’re a very caring person. Kotoko: Hmm, so you noticed? If nothing’s wrong with you, then that’s good. ……if I’ve understood properly, that means you’re safe…… Once again, happy birthday, Kirisaki Shidou.

21/12/15 (Kotoko’s Birthday) Haruka: Ah…… H-happy birthday, Kotoko-san. Kotoko: ……thanks. You’ve definitely changed a bit. Do you remember before? You could barely even talk to me. Haruka: I-is that so? Now that you mention it, I, I maybe have got a bit better since then. ……m-maybe I’ve got more used to being around people. There’s other people here who are interested in me, and, um, in particular Mu-san pays a lot of notice to me…… I… I’m enjoying myself here…… Kotoko: ……hmm. It’s just a theory I have right now, but I get the feeling the outcome of Milgram’s judgements are having some influence on our mental state. Well, I only noticed because I happened to be last up though. Good for you, then. This must mean that you’re fine. ……I’ll accept those birthday wishes.

22/12/15 (Kotoko’s Birthday) Mikoto: Ah, Koto-chan. It’s been a while. Both of us have kinda split off from the group, but how’ve things been? A lot’s happened, but for now let’s try to get along. I mean, it’s your birthday today, right? I got the feeling nobody else was going to do anything, so I came to celebrate. Kotoko: ……how carefree. It doesn’t matter, a villain like you won’t be forgiven next time either. And when that time comes, it’ll be the end for you. I’ll make sure of it myself. Mikoto: Ahh?? Just try and do it, you nutjob. I’ll crush anyone who hurts me…… You’re gonna be totally beaten at your own game……! [TN: The word “me” here uses first person pronoun “boku”.] Kotoko: Hm. The border between the two is getting a lot vaguer. Your entire existence is a crime. And I will see you’re punished for it. That is what Milgram, and Es, and I have chosen.

"I said before that I’m willing to follow your judgement, but you were soft on them. There’s some more that I wouldn’t have forgiven. If only I was the guard instead. Well, no use in complaining." X

Okay, fine that all looks sort of bad when framed in that light- and laid out in that way. All together.

But "I" personally don't interpret it as bad thing. Everyone in Milgram is a murderer. She has good reason to be on guard and keep to herself. Kotoko wasn't attacking innocent people she was killing criminals.

People who were skirting around the system, evading the law, and offending repeatedly. Getting rid of those sorts of people would make society better overall.

I mean child kidnapers and frauds cause damage to-

Okay, now you're just poking fun at Kotoko enjoyers.

Okay yeah, I am slightly but I'm also recommending you watch or read Death Note too just to better appreciate this joke. Sorry, sorry for that one, it really was just a low hanging fruit and far too good to pass up.

I can't lie I'm having a great and terrifying time writing this up right now. I only thought it'd be like ha, ha look at all these similarities between Kotoko's mindset and fascism isn't that odd.

Then I stumbled upon the fact that the person she directly quotes from memory in her first trial interrogation is a recorded supporter of World War 2. That's sort of really terrifying not going to lie. However, that just shows how much Kotoko has always been like this. To an extent this whole post has been writing itself because this is just a as soon as you see it you can't unsee it thing.

I really didn't think I'd find this much. I thought I'd go in an be like hm maybe I'm reading too much into this and there would be very little information within Milgram that supported this framing. However, there's weirdly a lot of stuff that does. Just all the way down this is how she is. Some have to admit that sometimes Kotoko's defense of her actions being we're stopping the bad guys is weirdly comparable to Light Yagami.

I mean no one has to but come on? It's kind of funny- It's at least funnier than the scary implications of her mindset and what that mindset garnering over sixty-percent support from people says about society as a whole. Let me tell you the Death Note comparison is certainly a lot funnier than that. Because the second thing is actually an issue that needs to be interrogated further.

Still, even after all this one could easily say despite everything, I haven't concretely stated why I believe Kotoko is a fascist. That all of this is just my subjective interpretation of the information provided mixed with a bunch of really weird coincidences.

However, that's the point of fascism, it's not meant to be recognizable until it is too late. It's fluid, flexible, ever changing and evolving. It changes to fit the environment, the goals of the party involved, and the people they wish to bring into the cause or exclude.

It doesn't always have the same tells in every instance it occurs. So, people can get tripped up by the deviations or even agree with the goal being strived for. However, it does have tells and Kotoko's behavior aligns with a lot of them.

Remember that second video which listed the core fundamental ideas that all fascist movements may build themselves from. Kotoko's behavior aligns with so many of them that again I just have to recommend you watch it but I will list the ones that stood out to me,

"4. Disagreement is Treason Because of this faith in tradition, which is inherently syncretic and self-contradictory and therefore can be easily deconstructed by an analytical mind. People defending that tradition hate when you point out its flaws." "5. Fear of Difference Disagreement is a sign of diversity of thought. Ur-fascism hates diversity. Because it can only operate through consensus. By force, if necessary. So, it always makes an appeal against the intruders. Who are these intruders? Honestly, it's entirely arbitrary. Anyone who doesn't fit."

"You'd understand, if you're a human."

Q.14 Are there any prisoners you don’t get on with?

Kotoko: Mikoto. He’s loud and bothersome.

20/07/01 Mikoto: Hey, hey, Koto-chan. I’ve been thinking this ever since I first heard your name, but don’t you think the names “Mikoto” and “Kotoko” kinda sound like siblings? Kotoko: No. Mikoto: Don’t say that! Let’s get along well from here on as the Koto-Koto combo! Kotoko: I’m not doing that.

Kotoko has shown that she disliked Mikoto from the start. Even refusing to wish him happy birthday before his trial even came up until he kicked up a fuss about it.

20/10/06 (Mikoto’s Birthday) Mikoto: ■■…… gh…… Gah…… ■■…… aaa…… nh…… ■…… ■■■■■……!! Kotoko: …………hm. Have you finally calmed down? Kayano Mikoto. ………… So, you want me to wish you a happy birthday? I don’t really mind, but is that really something for you to be saying to me? Mikoto: You’re the last person I need to have the whole group. If there was just one person left it’d be bugging me all night and I’d never get to sleep, right? At times like this you have to abandon your pride and just say something, right~? Kotoko: Ok, here you go. Happy birthday. ……if this is what will help you sleep soundly. Mikoto: Oh, thanks! Now I don’t need to worry~

Literally everyone told him happy birthday but her. They are in a panopticon. It's incredibly difficult for her to have not known it was his birthday if everyone had gone up to wish him happy birthday already. She just chose not to say. I don't know why she dislikes Mikoto specifically, but she does.

Even going as far to say taking care of him isn't just Milgram or Es' choice but her own as well. We've also gone over that Kotoko has a group. So, this is further illustrating that she's considered Mikoto's existence and intrusion in that group since before he was voted Guilty.

"7. Obsession with the Plot To ease this frustration, Ur-Fascism reminds the frustrated class that they are united by the virtue of having come from the same place. And what better way to unite than by forming a common enemy. The nation must always be under seige. There's always some shadowy force working from the inside and the outside to fundamentally change our way of life. Who is this force? Again it's arbitrary but usually it's some kind of foreigner."

Harrow "I can't forgive the evil hurting the weak." - "Whose fault is it? This is getting ridiculous. What should the punishment be? Want to find. I feel like I'm going crazy after straining my nerves. The person that can't be saved is now understanding the abnormality." - "It's ok to dislike, right? Losing it, losing it- What should I hope for? Good night. 'HARROW, HARROW'. Laugh and I can get to like myself."

"8. The enemy is strong & weak. The populace is taught two mutually exclusive ideas. One that the enemy is humiliating us through their wealth and power. Two, that they will easily be crushed by our wealth and power. Through this dichotomy the enemy is both strong enough to pose a threat but weak enough to defeat. Dangerous but impotent."

This is displayed through Harrow by having the criminals Kotoko attacks be strong enough to evade regular law enforcement or take advantage of the existing flawed system. Yet, weak enough to be taken care of through Kotoko's methods.

Something put on full display by having Kotoko triumph over this criminal that the police couldn't even catch in the end on top of showing her deliver justice to the bad guys repeatedly. Not just once overall.

"9. Life is Live for Struggle The belief that there will always be an enemy. So, life is always understood as permanent warfare. There is always a conflict, always a new battle. Therefore, pacifism is working for the enemy."

The ultimate message from Harrow is that the system we have now is flawed and it's up to the people, the real humans, to fix it. By any means. Through taking it into one's own hands if one needs to.

Q.04 When did you start learning martial arts?

Kotoko: When I was in primary school, I think? Without enough power, justice won’t be upheld.

Q.05 What do you do to pass time in the prison?

Kotoko: Training and meditation.

Q.12 What is your motto?

Kotoko: “There’s no other way that could let us live, so I walk this path.” [TN: Quote from Mushanokouji Saneatsu.]

Q.15 Which is more important, the objective or the means?

Kotoko: Objective. Does that not go without saying?

Q.17 Tell me what the merit is in working with you.

Kotoko: I will act according to your will. I can also act as your guard. Have you forgotten that you were about to die before?

"10. Contempt for the Weak Not just physically weak or morally weak this is a form of mass elitism. Everyone in the nation looks down on the other nations of the world. Everyone in the party looks down on everyone not in the party. Within the hierarchy of the party, everyone is taught to look down on their inferiors. And the leader looks with contempt on everyone because their authority is based on the weakness of the masses. After all, if they weren't weak, they would not need a leader."

Q.20 What do you consider “evil”?

Kotoko: The persecution of the weak and innocent.

"Useless weaklings should just shut up and let me protect them!"

If these people were not weak, they would not need to be protected.

Q.14 Are there any prisoners you don’t get on with?

Kotoko: Mikoto. He’s loud and bothersome.

"Your entire existence is a crime. And I will see you’re punished for it. That is what Milgram, and Es, and I have chosen."

"11. The Cult of Death or Everyone Can be a Hero The hero, in myth, is an exceptional figure who through struggle and sacrifice makes society better. In Ur-facism everyone is taught to be exceptional and of course the ultimate act of a hero is sacrifice. The belief that through glorious death we can reach transcendental happiness. In Eco's words, 'The UR-Fascist Hero is impatient to die. In their impatience, they more frequently send other people to their deaths."

Harrow

"Every time death comes the soul moves forward." - "Shall we replace the poor soul, and the miserable delusion?" - "Newly born “HARROW HARROW”. It’s ok to dislike, right?" - "Laugh and I can get to like myself."

Deep Cover

"So, I became your fang. I've chosen the awaited hero. I've engraved the answer. Why? Why stop me? Don't stop."

"12. Machismo This is the principle of permanent war and suicidal heroism brought into sexuality. Masculine sexual dominance is valued, and everything else, from femininity, to submissiveness, to chastity, to homosexuality- To anything outside of the ideal of dominant masculinity is shunned."

Q.10 What do you think of the term “femininity”?

Kotoko: A means. It’s something you can choose freely depending on the scene, not something you have to adhere to.

"13. Selective Populism Ur-Fascism relies on the people to function. But unlike in democracy, which works for individual rights, where individuals impact political decisions through the quantitative voting process Ur-facism treats the people as a qualitative function. As monolithic voice of the common will. Since no group is a monolith, and every populace is made up of a diverse number of voices, and as mentioned before facism needs consensus and abhors diversity- the leader serves as the sole interpreter of this will. So, the people only exist to serve as a rhetorical device commonly used to undermine democratic institutions that for one reason or another no longer represent the will of The People. And this, combined with the aforementioned, racism and xenophobia, serves to narrow the definition of who The People are. Eco speculates that in the future a TV or internet populism could also serve this function."

"The leader serves as the sole interpreter of this will. So, the people only exist to serve as a rhetorical device."

"I can’t forgive the evil hurting the weak. It’s unforgivable, I won’t allow it, I sweared." - "From the beginning I've never asked for your understanding! My actions, one by one, are bringing earth closer to peace. Useless weaklings should just shut up and let me protect them!

"Hm. The border between the two is getting a lot vaguer. Your entire existence is a crime. And I will see you’re punished for it. That is what Milgram, and Es, and I have chosen."

22/08/05 (Kazui’s Birthday)

Kotoko: ……Mukuhara Kazui. Thanks to you, I wasn’t able to properly serve justice to those who did something unforgivable. I’m currently acting as an agent for our prison guard Es. Don’t get in my way next time.

Kazui: Oi oi, don’t be silly, Yuzuriha-chan. There’s no way I could just look away from your outrageous display of violence. Anyway, even disregarding the fact violence against those voted guilty isn’t a part of Milgram’s system, what you’re doing is just acting recklessly based on a broad interpretation. As long as I’m free myself, I’ll stop you.

Kotoko: ……what a pointless argument. Hmph. Since Es forgives you, I have no choice but to forgive you myself too. If you're to keep to your words, then you’d best do what you can to keep being forgiven. If you’re not, then next time you’ll be one of my targets.

Kazui: Oh, how scary. That girl truly is frightening. ……well then, I wonder what the guard will decide to do with me. That’s the one thing I really can’t make out. Honestly……

Deep Cover

"Don't stop! I need a good reason to give justice! Give me my next purpose!"

Kotoko constantly uses the people around her and their struggles as an excuse for her behavior. Despite admitting she's never had to face any of the persecution or judgment she's more than happy to hand down to others.

Q.18 Have you ever personally been persecuted in the past?

Kotoko: I haven’t. But are you trying to say that if you haven’t had those experiences you can’t hate evildoers?

Now she's just using her relation to Es and their apparent agreement to justify her current behavior. Even if as Kazui pointed out attacking the prisoners because of their verdicts is not part of Milgram's system and she didn't even bother to ask what Es wanted her to do in their agreement.

She just made up these terms stating she'd take being voted Innocent as confirmation that Es wanted to work with her. Regardless of if she was voted innocent due to some other reason entirely or not. So far, all the prisoners' interrogations have highlighted that they aren't entirely aware of why Es made the verdict they did but they have some speculations based off the voices they'd been hearing and how they interpreted those.

So, she's truly just working off of her own interpretation of Es' and the audience's judgement.

Yeah, that's all I've really been able to gather on this idea and my thoughts on it. I don't know how comprehensive this will come off as and it may have spelling errors, but I hope people like it and use it to interrogate Kotoko's behavior can come off from a different angle. Because it's not as simple as a good deal of people have made it out to be.