#Me realizing 50% of these are repeated from past posts LOL

[marionmorse]

Ohh my absolute goodness..

side note, one look at Heavy and Medic on the character lineup at the teamfortress.com homepage tells you EVERYTHING about their marriage

Anyway, the god... damn... I can't get over... just, Engineer TF2 and the duality of his character. Like, he's one-hundred percent someone to pull on gator skin boots, a ten gallon, get all yee-hawed up for a night out at the dance hall. But then go home and infodump about hotchkiss drives, stress-strain curves, and reflow soldering.

There are some specific competitive lines that comes to mind that are JARRING to hear in his honeyed-up Texas voice along with shit like "hooo-whee, makin' bacon!" and "START PRAYIN', BOY." Maybe that's just a huge part of the appeal to his character, but think about his BUDDIES, too.

Medic is probably quite familiar with American stereotypes pre-Gravel Wars, doesn't expect much from a bumbling rural southerner with a generic set of tools upon first glance. but.., he's a bit BLOWN AWAY when Engie gets all inquisitive about the ins and outs of the medi-gun. Wants to look into how the serum works as a mechanical component, the powering and logic behind it all, even overwhelms med's (limited) level of delicate mechanical knowledge. his arc is all, "okay, so, this little guy might be a bigger-brained fella than I expected!" The punting of med's early-day ego and subsequent forging of their friendship is just so... ourgh... I love characters and arcs and stories and growth and...

Also, Soldier! The all-American Ultra Yank who doesn't see eye-to-eye with Engie at first. They've both got contrasting leadership qualities when it comes down to it, fr, a- a- and, AND, soldier HATES nerds. Engie's a nerd. Big time. It takes a while for that mutual love respect to build up, you know? do you catch my drift? I'm just rambling now.

ALSO also, Engineer himself going from the more introverted, lone-wolf type we see in Meet the Engineer to a sort of leader, the level-headed de-escalator we see in Expiration Date. The guy who feels for and loves his team, but no doubt brings out the 'Texas' in 'em all. It's kinda cute. I imagine he taught everyone square dancing at some point, 'cause how else would they know?

In the end, I just love to think of Engie as being one of the cornerstones of the team's overall culture. i mean, he's a solid family guy - cooks the breakfasts, fixes the (practical) problems, heck, plays music, tells stories, keeps 'em together when times are tough. We ALL know that some of him has to rub off on the team he bunks with for years. Not in a father-figure way, nahh, but certainly in a Dad Friend way. Big difference.

(Can you tell who my favorite character is yet? (demo, actually. And Heavy. come to think of it, the defense trio is the love of my life. My boys. (I could write and MLA-formatted essay about the balance of culture and personality within the Tuefort Nine, citations intact.)))

[fieryglutenfreechickennoodles]

A Jackson Love Story

Joel Miller x Reader

Summary: It seems like before the outbreak it was common knowledge that history tends to repeat itself. But for this young woman it's a very foreign subject. A/N:

This is my new baby, my pride and joy! Hope you guys like it, I finally grow the balls to post my stuff here, I'm starting with this one because I'm very proud of it so far :3 Please be kind lol, my English is not top tier but I'm very happy about of this fic, it came to me in a dream, and I love writing it so muchhh and I hope you all love reading it <3

WARNINGS: Angst, Fluff and Smut, Mutual Pining, Semi Slow Burn, Age Difference (Reader is in her mid 20's, Joel is in his 50's), Loss of Virginity, Breeding kink, Religious Guilt, Possessive Sex, Masturbation, Edging, Secret relationship... I'm terrible at this so i'm prolly forgetting something.

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

That farm belonged to her father's family for generations, it was four miles away from the city, a big piece of land in Jackson Wyoming, her great great grandfather built it to raise his kids close to nature and animals, he had worked his whole life in other people’s farms, when he saw the opportunity of having his own, he didn’t think twice.

 And it was in this farm that her parents met, they knew everyone in town and had a few good friends, but their true shared love was the farm, it was over a hundred years old, and Paul and Laura tended to it with pride and joy every day, before and after his work at the dam and her work in town as a veterinarian. When he met Laura, she fell in love with the farm before falling for him, it happens if you’re a vet with a passion for farm animals. They started talking more when both realized they were both very religious. She lived in town but was often on his farm to check on the animals, with all that going for him every Sunday he would take initiative and would go pick her up early in the morning to go to church, then they would lunch and chat for hours. He fell for her at first sight, when she was over his place, he would always create a reason for her to stay a bit longer, a coffee, a slice of pie, a show he wanted to show her, even though he actually had never seen it before. When they started dating it didn't take long for him to invite her to live with him and it didn't take much longer for her to say yes. Two years later they married and one year later she was pregnant. But what was supposed to be the perfect life, changed one month into the long-awaited pregnancy. 

Usually not many people walked past the farm, some lost hikers rarely, but one night someone knocked on the door, Paul and Laura woke up in a panic, he told her to stay quiet and grabbed his gun. -"I'll go with you! Are you crazy?"- She whispered, climbing out of the bed. -"You are pregnant!"- He turned to her, with a raised hand, silently asking for her to stay. -"Yeah, and you are the father!"- She put on her fluffy slippers, and he rolled his eyes. Meanwhile whoever it was downstairs was nearly breaking the door, frantically screaming for help. As Paul opened the bedroom door the noises stopped. "Shit…"- They said at the same time, and slowly walked downstairs. They stopped on the last step, both hearts dropping at the sight. The man that was at the door was now running away from two people towards the barn, but they caught him and started… Eating him? It was far but it sure looked like that. Laura felt sick and sat on the stairs, Paul walked closer to the window and watched in horror as the man screeched out his last scream. -"Holy fuck…"- He whispered to himself; they never swear but that was for sure a different night. Soon other people started to appear from the woods running from others, some they recognized even from afar, friends, neighbors… Another man made it to the front door. Joey, a young florist from town, covered in blood. -"Open the door! For the love of God!"- He screamed, crying his heart out. -"Paul please! Oh my God! I'm going to die!"- Paul looked at Laura. -"What are you waiting for?!"- She got up and walked towards the door, but he stopped her with a hand on her chest and shook his head no. -"Paul, he is hurt!"- She had tears in her eyes. -"We don't know what's going on…"- With his other hand he took her hand from the doorknob. Joey was still crying on the other side, more quietly now… Then silence. They were staring at each other, listening to absolute silence. Paul decided to look through the peephole and he saw Joey squirming and contorting; he could hear the boy’s bones cracking. He stepped away from the door holding his mouth, disgusted and shocked. Before Laura could look too Joey screeched and threw his whole body against the door, over and over again. They jumped back and Laura screamed, the door started to break from its hinges. -"Oh my God!"- Laura held Paul's hand. -"Go! Upstairs! NOW!"- He screamed, and both ran back towards their room, at that same moment the door flung open, and Joey fell inside, climbing the stairs behind them on all fours, screaming. Laura got into the room; Paul quickly closed the door with her inside, turned and shot right as Joey was jumping on him, both fell against the door. -"I'm okay… I think…"- He said, weak, she opened the door and his head hit the ground, Joey was on top of him, dead. -"What the hell it’s going on?..."- She asked, her whole body trembling. Paul pushed the boy away and got up with a grunt. 

They stayed up that night, the door was gone, and the people kept coming, they were fast, too fast.

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The day after, Paul fixed the door, and they started building a fence around the farm. Laura wasn't very good at building fences, but she was worst at shooting, so as she built, he watched her back. Everyone they killed they buried and prayed for them, the days were long and tiring, mornings were for building, evenings were for digging graves, nights were for praying and trying to rest their tired bodies and minds, which was also a task. 

After two weeks no one would show up anymore, no monsters nor people, Paul was able to help with the fence and after two more weeks it was done. 

After that they never left the farm anymore, rarely a monster would show up and they would kill and bury it, it was a sickening routine.

Months went by and they didn't even notice, their days were quiet and sad, they weren't that happy chatty couple they once were, but they still felt connected by the farm work and would always sleep holding each other. 

Their daughter was born in the bathtub, Laura always wanted a water birth. Everything went smoothly and from that day forward they found joy in life again.

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A year later Paul was feeding the horses and chatting with Laura when a group of three approached the farm's gate. Paul told Laura to go and she ran inside as he grabbed the gun from his back and walked towards the gate. They talked for a short period and Paul lowered his gun and relaxed, Laura was watching from the window when her husband motioned for her to come. She would like to hear what they had to say, he thought. It was the first time in months they saw people, alive at least. And it was the first time they were introduced to the fact that a community was being created in the city. They explained what they knew about the infection and the outbreak, and told them they should go to the city, the real danger in their area now wasn't the infected but raiders.

They talked for hours that night and decided to stay in the farm, but they helped the townsfolk with everything they could. Maria and her father used to go there at least once a week, at first for business and ideas on how to properly use the dam, for ideas on how to build a sustainable community and how could they potentially live as the good ol'days, Laura had many good ideas for that, she used to daydream about the normal world every waking hour and dream about it when she was asleep. Soon they didn't talk about business at all when they visited, they chatted and cooked food, laughed and drank whiskey. They were friends, family. 

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 After two years they wouldn't bury the infected anymore because they started to change, sometimes both of them question that in silence, they were people once, just that should give them the right to a proper burial, were they just scared to get too close, to touch them? They didn't talk about that, but by the way they looked at each other after seeing an infected was proof they both share those awful feelings. They would still pray for their souls and Laura would often cry in the bathroom, Y/N would often listen because she was always following her mother around, she didn’t know why she cried so much.

As Y/N grew she learnt how to do everything around the farm, from a very young age she was already into it. They rarely visited the community and that didn't bother her at all, she didn’t know better, but they argued sometimes about the fact that she should be around other kids, at her age she should be going to school and having fun, but they would always settle back to the idea of being on the farm. "Imagine if it all happens again but we are surrounded by people'' they used to say, the farm was isolated, but it was safe, they were alive until then because they were isolated in the first place. So, they homeschooled Y/N, taught her everything they knew and like that the years went by.

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When she was ten, she woke up before her parents because of chatting at the front door. She opened her bedroom door slowly and met her father doing the same, he put a finger in front of his lips telling her to not make a noise. She followed him downstairs, Paul felt her holding the hem of his shirt and felt chills down his spine, it was like history was repeating itself, but now there was a little girl involved, she shouldn’t have to go through all that terror. He suddenly felt strong and protective, as they reached the last step, the chatting had stopped, he opened the door and pointed his gun out, looking around, but there was no one, his blood ran cold as his brain created all kinds of scenarios, this could be a trap, he was lightheaded when suddenly his daughter’s voice woke him up. 

-"Dad! Look!"- She pointed towards the barn, there were two people trying to jump the fence, he looked but looked down even faster, his daughter's scream had woken up the reason the couple were there and were now running away, a baby, a few months old at max. 

-"Holy Mother of Jesus…"- He bent down to grabbed the basket, Y/N had both hands on her mouth, in shock and already in love with the tiny little baby. 

-"Laura! Laura!" - He called his wife with tears in his eyes. When she climbed down she almost fell on her ass when she saw the child in her husband's arms and immediately started to cry, Y/N watched as the couple finally jumped to the other side and disappeared. She felt like she would never forget that sight. And like that they became a family of four. They named her Dakota. 

It was a blessing having Dakota around, Y/N always wanted a sister and a brother, and her parents always wanted a big family, but that dream died when the infected were born.

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As Y/N started to become a young lady, they were glad they controlled everything their daughters knew and had access to, they wouldn’t even let the girls be around after dinner when Maria and their friends were there. Y/N used to go to her room and leave the door just a slit open and sit by it to try to listen to something, a story, an adventure, something about the old world. Somedays her parents liked to drink after dinner and cuddle by the fire, they used to remember and laugh about how wild teenagers were back in the day, and how their daughters were angels, Y/N remember listening to this, and she did feel that way sometimes… Wild. One day when Y/N was seventeen she went to the community alone for the first time. She had argued with her mother because she didn't want to study the Bible anymore, she knew everything word by word and thought it was baloney and her mother freaked out, how could she say that that in front of her little sister, she should be an example and yada yada, her high pitched screams made Dakota cry and that made her mother even more angry, while her father was trying to soothe the situation, Y/N sneaked out, grabbed a horse and left. Getting there, she went straight to the library and browsed books for hours, anything was more entertaining than that old bible she had read countless times. She decided to take a book where the main character had her name and went back. She hid the book on the second floor of the barn and went inside to face her parents' wreath, after hours of arguing and lots of crying they all went to bed without dinner, except Dakota who wasn't mad or sad with anyone and was as hungry as any other day. In her room she regretted sneaking out, her mother’s face when she came back was unforgettable and so heartbroken, the fear and disappointment on her father’s face was all too much, why did she do that? What did she get from such an extreme action? Nothing… She thought, but when she closed her eyes she saw the books, all those stories and that smell… Oh the smell. She smiled to herself, she remembered all the times she would open the bible expecting a new story to appear on the pages, she remembered the few adventure stories her father used to tell her and her sister, she always wanted more, and now she had it, it wasn’t all for nothing.

She woke up early the next day and went straight to the second floor of the barn and hid the stairs. Their parents tried talking to her and bribing her with an apple pie but she wouldn't come down. Not because she was angry or sad, but because she learnt what the book was about, it was a romance, she never heard or even thought of those things, she didn't know what she was feeling but it was as good as it was new, It felt wrong and that made it even better she didn't know why, it made her giggle and blush and that was so funny for her. She barely blinked, she couldn't stop reading. It was lunch time already and her tummy was growling. She hid the book again and climbed down. After a few very long apologies it was all back to normal. Lunch was great and afterwards she helped her father around the farm, both enthusiastically teaching Dakota everything, Y/N was so good with plants and harvest that her father couldn’t do it without his daughter anymore, Dakota thought her sister was the smartest woman in the whole world and so did Paul, he loved that his girl was getting better than him, he couldn’t be more proud, sometimes even playing dumb just to listen to her explaining everything with unmatchable gusto, she also helped her mother around the house a bit ignoring her anxious heart and her butterfly filled stomach. That night she snuck out and slept in the barn after reading the book until her cheeks were hurting from smiling and laughing. 

After that book their life changed a bit, coincidentally, because of another book, they started to visit the community more often after Maria planted the idea of bible study and Laura loved it, Maria was always trying to convince them to move to their community, maybe this time it would work. 

The class was actually a success. Laura was very religious but after the outbreak she started to question everything, in a healthy way, in a way she could explore other beliefs, even atheism and hate. And that's what the class was all about, a place to explore the bible with an open heart, like a piece of art, a place to believe or find out religion is not for you and that's completely fine, a place for counseling, for sharing, a safe place.  

While Laura was teaching Y/N would always go to the library, Dakota would stay for the classes then play with other kids afterwards and Paul would help around and chat with the few old friends that were still there. Before sunset they would all gather in front of the barn to go back home. 

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Her teenage years flew by, and she was now a young woman allowed to go to the community alone, Laura could swear her goal was to read every book ever printed, and if that was the goal going to Jackson only once a week with her family wasn’t nearly enough, plus Y/N was great with any weapons, fast on her horse and was of great help to the community. She was a brilliant botanist, great with any type of food management, had a sniffer dog’s nose for a good harvest and an eagle’s eyes for improvement on the crops, animal stock and every kind of dairy production, a bit awkward around people but that did not prevent Maria from asking her to pass on her knowledge to the townsfolk.

She was allowed to bring Dakota to her classes, three times a week, and soon enough her parents started going there that frequently. Dakota made friends quickly and that worried Paul and Laura a bit, but it was undeniably good to be there, a few months into this new routine and they were all spending the entire days there, the would go early in the morning to help around and after their classes they would cook dinner, help around or just chat and have fun. 

-"You guys should come live here."- Maria said to Laura one day, she had forgotten how many times she had suggested that over the years.  -"There is space for your animals and there are many good houses. We would love to have you guys around."- She smiled softly and put a hand on Laura's shoulder. But they wouldn't budge, even Y/N was okay living on the farm, she was quite socially awkward and she loved her old room. Dakota was confused, she loved the city more than everyone in her household but it was scary to change her lifestyle like that. 

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Half a year went by, and Y/N was in the library planning her class when a young girl, Dakota's age, walked in with Maria, she seemed to be showing her the community. "New people" she thought and went back to writing. That evening when she arrived home, she noticed her father's horse wasn't there. "Father is still in town?" She wondered what he was doing. As she approached her house the smell of burned wood invaded her nose, her mother was cooking. She walked towards the kitchen and watched her mom clean up the counter while humming a church song. -"Where is dad?"- Y/N asked and her mom turned to her with a jump. -"Good gracious young lady, a warning please!"- She took a hand to her chest and exhaled a laugh before answering. -"Tommy asked him to help with the night watch, he went early to meet the guys, you know your father, friendly as a golden retriever…"- They laughed. -"Never thought you guys would get this involved with the community, that's amazing…"- She smiled at her mother who was smiling back, softly. -"We are doing it for our girls…"- She walked towards her daughter and cupped her cheek lovingly, Y/N put her hand on top of her mother's and looked at her. -"Dishes are yours."- She winked and walked away laughing, Y/N rolled her eyes, sighed and got to work.  

She couldn't sleep properly that night thinking about her dad out there. She has known Tommy since her teenage years, but who were the other guys? She couldn’t help but wonder if they were nice, friendly? “They’re Tommy’s friends… I’m overthinking….”.

 She woke up before the sun and waited for her father to return sitting on her window, when she saw him in the distance she rushed to him. -"Dad!"- She screamed and waved, running to help him with the gate. She was in her pajamas and barefoot. -"Sweetie! What are you doing barefoot, you catch a splinter or somethin’!"- He laughed looking at his daughter and jumping off his horse. -"I barely sleep, I was so worried! How was it?"- She opened the gate quickly and hugged her dad. He grunted, coughed and giggled. -"I'm okay sweetie… It was quite fun actually."- He gently pushed her away and continued while walking towards the barn. -"You know Tommy is very funny, thank God he was there, if I stayed the whole night with just his brother I would have died of boredom!"- He chuckled. 

-"Tommy has a brother?"- She asked, looking at him curiously. 

-"Yes, older brother, just arrived… Guy is as close as a clam, I've heard around town that he is quite violent too…"- He looked at his daughter and shrugged. -"He has a daughter, same age as Dakota, the little girl seems to like him alot so guess he has a sweet side, or the girl it's a little weirdo like him…"- Paul laughed taking the cell off the horse's back and placing it in its place. 

-"What's his name?"- Y/N asked. 

-"Joel…And the girl's name… I don't remember…"- Paul petted the horse goodbye and wrapped his arm around his daughter's shoulders, pulled her close and walked back home with her.

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Two weeks later Paul was doing night watches two times a week. He was growing closer to Joel, it turned out they had a lot in common even though one was a talking machine and the other a brick wall. Tommy and Paul gave Joel headaches sometimes but he secretly liked the company, he missed the warmth of having friends, and hearing his brother's laugh was refreshing. Paul was officially going to town everyday after the farm chores. Y/N and Dakota were planning on asking to go with him, Y/N wanted to study and read and perhaps make some friends and Dakota wanted to go to school with her many friends. But they were afraid of Laura's reaction, she was already arguing quite a lot with Paul about his new routine. 

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Almost a month went by and the girl she saw in the library walked into her class, Y/N wondered if that was Joel's daughter. -"Hello there! Welcome!"- She smiled and waved at the little girl. She waved back awkwardly, looking around the greenhouse. -"What's your name?"- Y/N asked. -"Ellie…"- She answered, checking out a big tomato that was hanging from its branch. -"Nice to meet you Ellie, I'm Y/N, today we're learning about the different types of tubers and how to care for them."- Y/N looked at the few kids in her class then back to Ellie. -"Tubers…"- the girl said to herself. She continued her class, Ellie was walking around the green house, uninterested, eventually laughing at some words she found funny, the kids in the class were looking at her, but the adults weren't phased by it, new kids were always like that, adults sometimes too, slowly approaching the class or leaving without a warning, sitting far away and anything in between. 

By the end of the class Dakota rushed to talk to Ellie and Y/N smiled to herself when she saw Ellie smiling at her sister, she sure had a way with people. She gathered her stuff and walked past them after closing the greenhouse, they started to laugh so she looked back still walking, two steps later she pumped into someone. -"I'm sorry…"- She turned to see his chest and large shoulders, covered in a green flannel, her eyes went up and he was looking down at her with a shy smile on the corner of his lips. -"S'okay…"- He said, and she felt a shiver up and down her body. She was staring at him, mouth ajar. -"I'm here for…"- before he could finish Ellie came running and punched his arm. -"Hey sleepyhead!"- She said all happy. He smiled with his lips. -"I do night watches, what’s your excuse to sleep all day?"- They smiled at each other playfully. -"Look! I invited Dakota to eat some cake at home, so yeah, bye!"- She waved bye to Joel and to Y/N and Dakota followed her. He turned to ask them something, but Ellie tagged Dakota and they started to run. 

-"That's my sister…"- Y/N finally remembered how to speak, and he turned back to her, making her heart skip a beat again at the sight of his gorgeous face. 

-"Yeah, I've seen you around…"- He scratched his beard. -"I'm Joel…"- and reached for a handshake.

-"I'm Y/N…"- She smiled and took his hand. 

-"Tommy told me about your class, he said you're great…"- He shook her hand, looking at her with big brown eyes, his large hand, warm and calloused, completely engulfing hers. She smiled and stared back. He let her go and cleaned his throat. -"Paul's daughter right? The little library mouse…"- He said as if it was nothing but to her it felt like he knocked the air out of her lungs. -"He… he called me that?.. "- She asked, staring at him, her cheeks burning.

-"No, I did, he just said you are always in that old building…"- He squinted his eyes ever so slightly, finding it weird how she kept staring at him even while clearly embarrassed, but Maria told him that she was skittish like a cat, he thought that was very cute but didn't believe her until now. -"Well, see ya around."- He smiled with his eyes and walked away.

 As he walked away, it took her a second to process him. When it clicked, her heart dropped and she rushed to the library, threw her things at a table and looked for that first book she read. She sat on the table with it, flipping pages quickly as if her life depended on finding that specific paragraph, that description.

"He was older than me, way older some might argue, I knew that, but something pulled me to him, maybe it was his musky scent and mainly looks, maybe it was the desire to discover who he could be beside that shell he created for himself. He was known for being violent, angry and very grumpy but his big brown eyes hid a kindness to them, I constantly catch myself wondering how gorgeous he would look when he smiled, but he never did, only with his eyes, rarely, his salt and pepper curls and beard gave him a somehow approachable appearance, fatherly and warm, his voice made my whole body tingle the few times I've heard, husky and low, his whole face and body, sculpted by a perfectionist God, every wrinkle, every pore. Don't let me start on his broad shoulders and strong arms, oh how I have spent my nights thinking about how he could lift me up with no effort at all, pin me against a wall and kiss me deeply, his lips looked so soft, I would let him kiss me, as much as he needed, I would let him use me until my body crumbles on me, until my body is rearranged for him. He doesn't know this, he can't know how my body begs for him, how my body aches for his calloused hands, for his warm tongue and large…" 

She closed the book and placed it roughly on the table beside her, not wanting to look at it. It was him. She dreamed about that man for years, none of the other books she'd read had hit her like that one, none of the other men in them had stuck with her like that, gotten under her skin like he did, unphased even after all those years, the perfect specimen in her mind and heart and now in her core too. -"Oh my goodness gracious…"- She whispered to herself and caressed the book cover without looking at it. Her body felt foreign, sinful. Her mind was rushing. It can't be that bad… Right? She thought. Afterall she wasn't in love nor planning to get married. It's okay, she thought when she realized she was overthinking, he didn't even feel the same way, why would he? She took a deep breath and cleaned her mind, but she couldn’t shake the feeling of embarrassment about how awkward she was, how innocent, she was still that bible study girl after all, afraid of God, and afraid of sin, she wasn't nearly as cool and powerful as the girls in her books, she was just a little library mouse… Maybe in that case, that a good thing…   

Y/N left the library with the book in her purse and asked the guy, who was the librarian of the day where Joel and Ellie lived. She wanted to take her sister and go back home early that day. 

She stood in front of the house for a minute, unable to knock. "Get yourself together…" she said in her mind, and knocked before another thought occurred. 

-"Who is it?"- It was Ellie's voice, and she allowed herself to relax.

-"It's Y/N, I'm here for…"- Her sentence was cut short when Joel opened the door, his flannel was gone, he was wearing a black shirt that was too tight for him.

-"Hi…"- He looked at her, unreadable, voice deliciously low. 

-"Can you call Dakota for me please, we have to get going…"- Her voice was small as she fought the urge to bite her lower lip and avoided his gaze. 

-"Do you wanna come in for a while?"- He asked playfully, probably because he noticed her peeking at the inside of his house because she couldn't look at him for more than a second. 

-"What?! No! No, thanks… Hum…I…"- Before her cheeks could go completely red, he asked another question. 

 -"What do you like to read?"- He leaned on the door frame, and she felt like dying, and she would've died happy. 

-"Bo… Books about what I teach…"- She held her purse strap tight and looked up at his biceps and forearms towering over her and gulped. 

-"Nice…"- His low voice sending chills up her thighs.

-"At your age I enjoyed romance and thrillers."- He discreetly looked at her, from head to toe, her hair on a messy bun, pink lips, adorable summer dress, and cleavage… He inhaled sharply.

 -"I'll call Dakota, you wait right here."- He walked in leaving the door open.

 She turned from the door, let out a breath and gasped for another one, her face never felt so hot, she wondered how pathetic she looked. -”Holy shit!”- It came out as fast as her hand came up to slap her mouth three times, a tick she had since she was little, every time she said a swear word, she would slap her mouth.

 -"Were you swearing?"- Dakota asked from behind her and she jumped.

 -"No, yes, sorry…"- She looked at Dakota and placed a kiss on her forehead, the little girl was holding a piece of cake and Ellie was right behind her, almost resting her head on her friend's shoulder.

 -"Ellie told me to give it to you… She is very proud of her first cake!"- Dakota giggled and looked at Ellie over her shoulder, she was rolling her eyes, her cheeks pinker than usual. 

-"Thanks Ellie! You should be proud, it looks and smells great!"- Y/N smiled and Ellie did too, shy as could be, Joel approached slowly. 

-"Okay, so, bye Ellie!"- Dakota waved to her new friend and jumped down the four steps on her front porch. 

-"See you tomorrow right?"- Ellie asked, walking past the door frame, seeking Dakota's attention. 

-"Sure, I'll talk to my parents about it."- Dakota said with a smile and started to skip towards the barn. Y/N and Ellie waved to each other as the little girl squeezed herself beside Joel to walk back into the house. He cleaned his throat and said.

 -"They want to go to the movies tomorrow…"- Joel crossed his arms and leaned on the door frame.

-"Cool…"- She said, distracted by his incredibly large shoulders. 

-"You stare a lot…"- He smirked the smallest of smirks. 

-"I'm… I'm sorry…"- She quickly turned to walk away. 

-"I like it, s'cute."- His smirk widened a bit and she was completely unable to speak, held in place by his words, she was thankful that he couldn't see her face, her wide eyes and flushed cheeks, meanwhile he took his time to analyze her body again, the thin straps of her dress on her delicate shoulders, the many strands of hair falling from her bun, the way her dress held her ribs and danced with every warm summer breeze. He smiled to himself.

-"Would be great if you'd come too…"- He said before his brain could process it. If Y/N wasn't red as it could be already, she was now. She turned back to him, eyes wide. -”Tomorrow my father will go fishing and I always help my mum to clean the fishes and…”-

Her voice was getting smaller with each word, she almost thanked him when he interrupted her. -“S’okay… I can help…”- He just stared at her.

She didn't want to think about that, she just nodded and instead of the good old “goodnight” she just smiled awkwardly then rushed to meet her sister. Joel watched her run away, exhaled a tiny laugh through his nose and walked back in to cook dinner and hopefully find out why he invited her so abruptly.

She followed her sister who was now a few feet in front. She decided that stuffing her face with cake was a good way to stop thinking about him. The cake was great but it only made her think more about him.Did he help her bake? Was he a good cook? What was his favorite meal, favorite sweet treat? Her head was spinning but it felt weirdly good.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It took a lot of talking to convince Paul and Laura to allow them to go to the movies, but they won that battle, after cleaning the dishes the sisters ran upstairs to Dakota’s room and talked about the upcoming day for hours, they heard about cinema and movies before but never watched it, much less in a big screen, Dakota describe it to Y/N as Ellie had described to her that night, it seems absurd and fantastic. Y/N loved how much about the world her little sister knew about. They talked about what story they wanted to watch as a movie, Y/N had many stories on her mind, but Dakota wanted something bible related and she thought that was funny, they don't even remember falling asleep, it had been a while since they slept together, in the morning it felt sweet and nostalgic, Y/N remembered when they used to have slumber parties and late nigh tea raves as they used to call. 

After breakfast Y/N put on her boots and left to tend to the animals, they were probably waiting for her, she secretly gave them fruit salads during summer. 

While brushing her horse she heard someone else walk in the stable.

-"Dad?"- She asked without looking. 

-"I'm looking for him as well…"- A man said. She turned around with a gasp and when she saw Joel she gasped again, her whole body exploding with goosebumps. 

-"Dear lord!"- She caught her breath and he exhaled a laugh. 

-"Didn't know I was that ugly."- He said approaching her. 

-"I just wasn't expecting you…"- She stuttered a bit, already red as one of her tomatoes. -"... And you are not… ugly…"- She was staring again, at his strong neck and chest. 

-"You are not ugly too…"- He walked closer and petted her horse over her shoulder, she took a deep breath, he smelled amazing, she looked up to his eyes and he was already looking down at her, she felt lightheaded.

-"Look who's here!"- Paul's voice made her exhale a very shaky breath as Joel turned to greet his friend. With large steps they met in the middle of the stable and hugged, slapping each other's backs. 

-"Damn you are punctual, I was just finishing some tasks but Y/N can do it for me, right sweetie?’’- Paul winked at her and she just nodded.

 -‘’I'll go kiss Laura goodbye and grab some lunch for us, be right back."- Paul slapped his friend's arm and ran back home. Joel walked towards the stable entrance and looked around the farm, you could see it all from there, even the river in the horizon. It was a beautiful piece of land, even prettier under the summer sun. Joel always wanted to own a farm, it was his idea of an ideal life. She approached him slowly.

-"It's gorgeous right?''- She said, now beside him. 

-"You are very lucky…''- He looked at her and she looked stunning, the breeze blowing her hair ever so slightly, the thin layer of sweat on her neck, her gorgeous lips, tired eyes looking so lovingly at her farm, her breast so soft under her white dress, it was an old dress and under that strong sun it turned a bit transparent, he swallowed dry and looked away, in a fraction of a second he thought of them as a couple, taking care of that farm and having kids, he felt like he would want her pregnant all the time, fuck, how amazing she would look pregnant in those summer dresses. He snapped out of it when he felt his dick twitch. "What the fuck Joel, you are older than her dad!" He cursed himself in his mind and cleaned his throat. His eyes found Paul and Laura in the distance, kissing passionately, he looked at Y/N with the intention of telling her goodbye but she was staring at her parents, eyebrows slightly furrowed.  

-"I've never kissed anyone… Is it good?"- She asked looking up at him, he nearly choked on his saliva and looked away, unable to stare back at her after that. He watched as Paul walked towards them, he knew she was still looking at him, waiting for an answer. 

-"It is… It's very good…"- His heart was pounding and his face was red hot. 

-"I want to be kissed…"- She whispered to herself and looked forward again, he tensed up and there was that damn twitch again. "Holy shit!" he thought as he adjusted his pants. 

-"What are you two talking about?"- Paul asked as he walked in between them, into the stable. She looked at Joel again, his eyes meeting hers finally and he parted his mouth a bit looking at her wanting lips. 

-"Nothing dad, just small talk…" - She said looking at Joel’s lips for a moment before walking towards her dad to help him prepare his horse, he felt empty without her eyes on him, but forced himself to ignore those feelings and walked towards his horse a few steps away from the barn.

They left for the lake and Y/N finished the tasks alone, she did it all automatically, only realizing some hours had passed when the afternoon breeze creeped under her dress. After cleaning the pigsty she sat under a tree to rest, but resting wasn't easy. She was trying to think how it would feel to kiss Joel, she touched her lips and closed her eyes, wondering if it was a sin to feel the way she felt for him, she leaned back and thought how amazing it would be to be the lady in the book, didn’t she deserve an intense romance adventure? Didn’t she deserve Joel? She fell asleep as she revisited a paragraph of the book in her mind.

"He walked into her room as she was sleeping and sat next to her bed, he watched her turning and moaning in her sleep and sighed, angry. He couldn't take it anymore, every moment without his hands on her was a wasted one, every day without hearing her voice was a disrespect for the blessing of hearing, every night they didn't spend sharing breaths and gasps was a night forgotten.

He leaned forward and cupped her cheek, she looked so peaceful, what was she dreaming about? Was there a possibility that it was about him? 

She put her hand on his and opened her eyes. -"What are you doing?"- she whispered. Before he could think of an answer he risked never seeing her again, risked being hated by her family and their mutual friends and leaned down for a kiss, she gasped but closer her eyes again, accepting him, his lips was everything she ever dreamt of, so soft compared to his rough beard, his male scent mixed with the leather from his jacket was inebriating, then finally his tongue, so hot and tasty, like it was made to dance with hers, his frustrated moans even while doing something he desired for so long showed her he wanted to do so much more, now that he tasted her his desire only grew, he needed her all the time, anywhere…"

She woke up with a short gasp and looked around, as she got up and walked to her house, she wondered how they were doing, had they caught any fish… Were they swimming? The thought alone made her turn towards the lake and smile, a naughty smile that turned into a giggle. She covered her mouth still giggling and walked towards her house to get rid of all that dirt and get ready for the movie night in a few hours. 

[minecraft-sideblog-tm]

Okay so anyone else know those glitched seeds like one with just infinite repeating ravines on Bedrock before the seed numbers were all shuffled in 1.18?? Well I thought the ravine one was cool after seeing it in a video and right before 1.18 came out I decided to make a world with that 1.17 seed so I’d have it, assuming that when 1.18 shuffled all the seeds it would be lost. 

BUT one interesting thing I noticed recently in my survival world, that was made in 1.17 but is now in 1.19, is that when the terrain changed in 1.18, a couple of the existing lava ravines had near duplicates directly below them past Y-0. 

So anyway I finally got curious, opened an updated copy of the infinite ravine world, and sure enough:

(entirely possible other people realized this a long time ago but I haven’t seen it mentioned anywhere so I’m posting anyway. Look how cool it is!!)

It’s still there! Just darker and spookier and so much cool. 

Here’s one end of this section.

Here’s the other!

(there’s actually a zombie spawner at this end, just to the left of where it actually ends and at the very bottom) 

Imagine you’re just exploring a huge dripstone cave under a mountain and wander out on to a ledge like this completely by accident or something. How do you even react to that lol

I even opened a completely new world with the seed just to make sure it wasn’t a glitch in updated worlds, and it’s still there, but rather than starting at Y-0 it actually starts around Y-level 50! part of it is under a big snowy slopes biome

plus several mineshafts that bridge each side, if you’re not afraid of heights and/or a mob punching you off the edge

WAIT, I typed this whole post and decided to check if it actually ended or if some terrain just broke it up, and guess what! It is definitely infinite and was just cut off put a deep body of water. If you go to 6, -1247 it’s actually visible from the surface. I’m sure there are plenty of other spots where it is too if you followed it for a while.

Anyway the seed is 1669320484 and if you go to around -632, 50, -632 you should find it under the mountain range once you dig down a bit, or just any of the coords on the screenshots that have them 

I haven’t tried it on Java, but I assume since there’s seed parity now it would be there? Idk, someone test it and let me know lol

definitely don’t dig straight down for this one though. you will fall about 100 blocks likely into lava lol

[genevievemd]

'Broke'

also do you have an angsty one shot in which there is no relationship problems between Ethan and gen (i.e. they should be a couple in it), just general sadness.

The reason I ask is because our uni surprised us with exams dates and they are A LOT sooner than we expected and I need a good cry

If you don't have it don't worry or write one on account of me

You can also light my way towards a good cry fic or movie

Broke “That's not the kind of tired I meant. Have you talked to Ethan since he broke things off?”

Send me a word, if it’s in my wip document I’ll answer your ask with the sentence that it appears in.

As for the rest of your ask, I have a couple WIPS but none that are near ready to be posted. BUT I adore you, so I’m gonna give you the super rough draft of one of the 50 ILY prompts that I think falls under what you want. 

But be warned, when I say rough, i mean rough. Like its half actually written and half shit sentences to get my point across before I go back and actually write them lol (under the read more)

She thought she was safe from him. Miles and years away from his taunts and games and tear downs. Never in a million years did Genevieve expect her ex to show up in Boston, Edenbrook no less. Her safe place. 

The darkness of the on-call room does little to ease herI h anxiety, stop the tears from falling and her chest constricting. Her eyes are still trained on the far wall, counting the minutes until her break is over, and she has to return to the demons of her past. 

Ryan Ozwell was the last person she ever expected to see again. Boston is a far cry from UPenn, 

No part of her wanted to tell him about her life and she was doing a fairly decent job at keeping the specifics from him. Until the moment Ryan asked if she was seeing someone. 

The smug, condescending look on his face like an echo from their past. His favorite insults repeating themselves over and over again in her mind. 

You’re worthless

You’re nothing

No one could ever love a piece of second class, backwater trash like you. 

So she gave in, against her better judgement, and told him she was with someone. That they were a doctor at the hospital but nothing more. But that was all he needed to break her down again, laugh in her face at the supposed absurdity that a fellow doctor would find her worthwhile. 

And In the hours between his admission and her later check in, Ryan had somehow figured out that Ethan was the man she was with, and it was like the gates of hell had opened. The fire in his eyes something unearthly, his words dripping with a deadly venom that paralyzed her. 

You’re still trying to date above your worth. 

How can you still be so naive? You really think he loves you? 

You’re a game to him, just like you were with me. Men like us get off on seeing how far we can string the pretty little thing along. 

I bet you only have the position you do because you’re sleeping with him. You were always a good fuck. 

It’s a shame you took that spot from someone who actually deserves it. 

She never showed him that it was getting to her, she kept the emotions at bay until she took her break. And went to an on call room to cry in the dark. 

She hates herself for still being affected by him, almost 9 years after they’d broken up and even after finding Ethan. 

She sees the door open, quickly shutting her eyes to make it look she’s sleeping. She hears the door shut with a soft click, the lock is turned and then slow measured footsteps walking towards her. 

Something in her tells her it’s Ethan and she’s proven right when he sits on the edge of the cot - placing a hand on her back, his fingers lightly caressing her.

Slowly Genevieve opens her eyes, but keeps her gaze trained on the invisible hole she’s been burning into the wall, afraid to see the look on his face. 

Ethan leans forward and wipes a tear from her cheek. His fingers linger on her skin before brushing a piece of hair behind her ear.He returns his hand to her back, running it up and down her spine. she can see him look at her with concern. Gen swallows back tears and reaches for his other hand, holding it tightly, but doesn’t look at him. 

After another moment, Gen takes a deep breath and turns her head to finally look at him. He gives her a reassuring smile, his face still full of concern. 

“I’m fine.” Her voice is barely above a whisper, still hoarse from crying 

“You don’t have to pretend with me, Gen.”

“I know that.” 

“Let me help.” 

She starts to tear up again and shakes her head. She bits the corner of her mouth and closes her eyes for a moment then looks back at the floor. 

“Don’t shut me out, Genevieve. Talk to me.” 

She half laughs, looking up at him with a faint smile. 

He leans in closer, placing right hand behind her and the fingers of his left hand brushing through her hair. 

“What did he say to you?” 

“How did you…” 

“I walked by his room and he very loudly yelled that he knew who I was. So I went to check his chart, saw the name and then immediately went to find you.” 

Gen sits up a little and Ethan moves his hand from her hair to her cheek. 

“Why didn’t you tell me that he was your patient? I could’ve gotten you off the case without anyone asking questions.” 

“Because you have enough to worry about. You’re the head of an entire department. Between that and Leland, Terrance and the construction, the last thing you need is a 3rd year resident crying to you about a difficult patient.”

“Genevieve…” Ethan leans forward and presses a loving kiss to her forehead. “You’re not just a resident, you’re my, as much as I hate such a juvenile term, girlfriend. Regardless of what’s going on, or how busy I am, you can always, and should always, come to me with whatever’s troubling you.” Ethan moves back to look into her eyes, “I know we try to keep the line between our work and private lives rather clear, but this is one of those times when that line should be crossed. Ryan Ozwell, isn’t just a random patient who’s being particularly difficult, he’s your borderline abusive ex. You should’ve come to me the minute you got his chart. Not just as a resident but as my girlfriend as well.”  

“You wouldn’t have been mad? I was worried you’d think I was being weak or something.” 

“Oh, I am mad, believe me. I’m irate, but not at you. Do you want me to take you off the case? Just say the word, and I’ll hand it over to a different resident or an intern. Preferably one of the less competent ones. Who’s caused the most trouble this week, it’s been awhile since I’ve given a good shake down.” 

Gen laughs, moving her hand to his chest. She fiddles with the lapel of his white coat, “No, I…” She looks down at her hand before looking back at Ethan, “I need to do this.” 

“You are absolutely certain?” 

“Yes.” She smiles softly, “You don’t need to protect me.” 

“I’m well aware that I don’t need to, Gen. I know you are more than capable of fighting your own battles, but I want to.” He strokes her cheek with his thumb, catching a wayward tear in its path. “Let me be there for you, the way you’ve always been there for me.” 

She nods

“How much time is left on your break?” 

Gen reaches for her phone, “A little over ten minutes.” 

Ethan takes off his coat, and loosens his tie. 

“What are you doing?” 

“Scoot over.” Gen does as he says but starts to cry again when she realizes he’s going to lay on the cot with her. 

Ethan lays down, leaning against the bed frame. Gen immediately wraps herself around him - practically lies on top of him. Her head is on his chest and her arm around his waist. Ethan holds her tightly, their legs tangled together. 

Thinks about how gentle and loving Ethan is, compared to her ex, how her safety and comfort are always his number one priority. How he makes her feel like the most precious thing in the world to him. How safe she feels when she’s in his arms. 

The moment is cut short when the timer on her phone goes off, Gen untangles herself enough to grab it from beside the pillow. She looks at it with a frown then looks at Ethan.

“Breaks over. I should go see if his test results are back. The sooner I figure out what’s wrong with him, the sooner he leaves.”

Gen gets up and stands, Ethan gets up as well. She hesitates, her hands shaking just the slightest bit. He steps forward to kiss her forehead, running his hand down her arm in comfort. 

“I’m coming with you.” 

“Ethan, really, you don’t -” 

“I’d like to see him try and say something while I’m in the room. He so much as looks at you the wrong way and -” 

Gen cuts him off with a kiss, leaning up on her tiptoes and holding his face in her hands. He immediately wraps his arms around her waist, holding her close. Her eyes start to water at his gentleness, never taking more than she offers. She pulls back after a moment, and looks in his eyes. They haven’t said “I love you you” yet but the way he’s looking at her says everything she needs to know. Ethan loves her more than anything. The thought makes more tears settle in her eyes and Ethan takes his hand off her waist to wipe them away. Her eyes flutter close at his touch and she leans up as he leans down, meeting her halfway as their foreheads touch. “I am so incredibly thankful for you, I…” 

“I know. I feel the same way about you.”

They share a knowing smile before fully leaving each other arms and heading for the door. ‘

I hope this helped. I promise to actually finish it at some point lol

Also, I can’t think of any movies to cry to atm. 

[mira--mira]

N: Any fic ideas brewing that you’d care to share? V: Are there certain comments you’ve received on your stories that have stuck with you? Y: What are your thoughts on your personal satisfaction with something you’ve written vs. the popularity of your stories?  Do you tend to be most satisfied with your most popular stories? ~~~~~~~

A. Describe your comfort zone—a typical you-fic. AD. Do you accept prompts?

Wanted to say a big Thank you for all your amazing work, honestly just reading fics have made my day many many times.

Thank you so much!

N: Any fic ideas brewing that you’d care to share?

I joked that Twisting Fate was the fic that completely derailed my non-OoT writing schedule, but that honor actually goes to two fics, the other which is still a WIP and an Out of Time snippet: "Summer Solstice".

I lovingly refer to it as my "lore-dump" snippet because it focuses on Madara celebrating the titular summer solstice. More details about the Uchiha's beliefs and religious practices are brought up, what it was like before he was made into a ghost (and finally ties back into Sasuke's early line in OoT that Amaterasu 'looked away' from the Uchiha after the fact) as well as contrasting it to the Senju beliefs, of which Hashirama is not as devout as Madara is to his own, and Yamato and Sai who are both atheists. Yamato wants Madara to have his celebration because he thinks it'll be good for him but Sai is opposed, though he doesn't try to forcibly stop it, because he's worried that if Madara saw there was no Amaterasu, he'd be more crushed than if he didn't celebrate the holiday at all. There's also a scene with Neko-baa 😉. (It's 5K and nowhere near finished 😅😬)

V: Are there certain comments you’ve received on your stories that have stuck with you?

A lot of the early ones, tbh. I first started writing in BNHA (and really want to get back to that fic) and there was an awesome little group of regular commenters that really helped me feel confident about my writing (Shiryu @shiryusamarkanda, captainofmyfleet, beccaaahhhh) I find it hard to articulate how much those early comments meant to me, especially as they took an interest in the fic and engaged when I asked questions in my author's notes about what they thought. Even now those are still my favorite kinds, the comments that are basically "I love x" "I can't believe xyz happened" "is this setting up something about a?" etc. I worked through a lot of my imposter syndrome when I started posting and I know how to get myself out of it now, but those types of comments really mean the world.

A lot of time writing to me feels like I'm in a box, and I'm just typing away at my keyboard. I like being in the box, I go in there willingly but sometimes it's nice to cut open a hole and ask a question and get a response instead of constantly wondering 'I think that's a good line...it's a good line to me but I've read this 50+ times, would someone who's not me think it's a good line too?' or 'oh I love this plot point, I'm so excited to see how it fits into the whole...wait, does it fit right? does it keep up the same pace and energy or does it deviate too much?' I'm thankful for all comments, but readers who engage, ask questions, and take the time to copy and paste their favorite lines in their comments are just absolutely amazing. I've never deleted a single comment, I doubt most authors do, just mark them as read in my inbox and whenever I'm feeling down or unmotivated I go start rereading or just look at the number of total comments and tear up a little that I've come as far as I have. 💖

Y: What are your thoughts on your personal satisfaction with something you’ve written vs. the popularity of your stories?  Do you tend to be most satisfied with your most popular stories?

I do tend to be satisfied with my most popular stories! Mostly because I write when I'm engaged with an idea and that usually turns into a multi-chapter work which, statistically, is more likely to be popular just based on exposure and repeated updates. My top three popular stories all follow this outline, and I would rank them according to personal satisfaction as of now: Out of Time, The Diverging Path, and Birds of a Feather and they fall neatly into how much time/how long I've spent actively writing. For one-shots it's a bit mixed. "Fireproof" did insanely well for a fic that's just over 600 words and was tagged as a genfic. My MerMay series "Anchored" and "Oasis" kind of bombed and I was really surprised neither broke the 100 kudos mark, though I did notice a dip in activity in my feed for kudos/comments/views in general between April and May of this year so...idk what's up with that lol.

~

A. Describe your comfort zone—a typical you-fic.

Out of Time. No joke. There's a reason it turned into the monster it did and that reason is I think it literally ticks off everything I want to write about. I like fix-it fics but I realized after BNHA that I like to take apart a complete work. I have all the canon information (not counting Boruto) and I can rework it as I see fit, like it's a giant puzzle. Time travel would let me do it in a new, interesting way (esp time travel forward) and I have a secure enough grasp on characters that I can imagine all the new interactions within the familiar framework without it feeling overdone to me. Add in my love of kiddo!hashimada specifically, established relationships, found family, and a chock ton of worldbuilding and...that's OoT 😂.

AD. Do you accept prompts?

Sure! I can't promise I'll write them, especially with the mess my schedule currently is...but I plan to do more reader-submitted prompts like I did in May for my hashimada anniversary, and you're always welcome to try your luck and submit one now and see if my brain latches onto it like a feral opossum clinging to its precious bowl of catfood. (Trust me, this is the best simile for my brain. No opossums were hurt in writing this.)

[kpop-cakepops]

When The Party’s Over // Yoon JeonghanxFem reader

//Here is my first post… it’s kinda angsty y'all, sorry lol. It took a lot for me to finally post it, so please be nice to me. Thank you. Hope you enjoy//

This was inspired by “When The Party’s Over” by Billie Eilish.

Word count: 1,747

Warnings: drinking, cursing, mentions of… kinda cheating??? Putting that in just in case.

The party had been as all parties were. It was loud, it was packed, it was stuffy, and it reeked of alcohol and weed… but it was also one thing you wanted it to be more than anything else. It was a distraction from him. Although he partied a lot too, you made it a mission to be at every party he wasn’t, avoiding him like the plague… and it had worked.

Until now.

You had been moving around the crowded “dance floor” not really dancing, not really standing, just letting yourself be dragged and groped between the group of what seemed like almost 50'ish people. Sweaty limbs meeting your skin and while you usually would rather no one touch you, your low levels of intoxication made it bearable.

That is until he walked in. Swinging the door open in a very Jeonghan manner, 2 24 packs of beer in his arms and a pretty woman trailing not too far behind him. Everyone cheered… except for you.

A soft huff left your lips as you wriggled around people making sure you weren’t seen, looking over your shoulder every few moments only to find that he was already being crowded by friends and admirers that wanted to get any type of interaction from him. Funny how a month and a half ago you would’ve also been up front in that crowd vying for his attention.

You grabbed your thick jacket from the couch you’d set it on and covertly walked toward the sliding glass doors that led to the backyard of the large house, not before managing to take a 12 pack with you.

A soft ding announced the arrival of a text message, but you didn’t care to look at it. You were too busy finding a place around the empty backyard to sit in and ending up choosing one of the lounge chairs by the pool. Any other day, the backyard would have been full with people running around ass naked and drunkenly cannon balling into the warm water… but that day there was snow piling on the grass around it. No one would want to come out when there was heat and dancing and Yoon Jeonghan inside.

No one but you.

You took a beer from your freshly stolen pack and leaned back on your chair staring up at the night sky, no stars in sight, only the moon and the reflection of the artificial city lights. It was peaceful enough; drinking beer alone out in the cold while looking at the fake lights… it wasn’t much different than being inside drinking in the warmth and surrounded by fake friends… you were alone in either of those scenarios anyways.

“Well look who decided to show up.”

That voice sent a chill down your spine but you’d managed to hide any feeling well. Could you say you were surprised that he’d manage to find you? Not really. It was in his nature, no matter how much you hid, it was Yoon Jeonghan that would find you.

“Look at you trying to be edgy alone, drinking by the pool while it’s 15 degrees out. It’s fucking cold-”

“Then go back inside” you managed and opened another beer. “I don’t recall asking you to come out here. Matter of fact, I don’t recall talking to you at all.”

There was silence and then the crunch of snow underneath shoes. To your dismay they were coming closer instead of going away. “So you’re still mad at me.”

A sigh left your lips and you sat up taking your phone out and texting your friend Wonwoo to pick you up from the party if he wasn’t too busy.

A small chuckle left Jeonghan’s lips as he watched you ignore him. It was like seeing you angry made him happy. You weren’t sure if that pissed you off or broke your heart. “Wow, it seems like you use your brain now too… get lost Jeonghan.”

“When will you get over it? I slept with Lina almost what? 2 months ago? I haven’t seen her since.” He said. A small cloud of smoke making it’s way towards you causing you to scrunch your nose.

You stared back up at the sky and closed your eyes wishing he hadn’t mentioned that again. Yet him saying only managed to transport you back to the day.

Walking into your apartment to find clothes scattered around, some clearly belonging to your best friend, Lina, who you’d allowed to crash in your place while she found a place to live. The same one that you’d spent countless of nights telling about the love you felt for Yoon Jeonghan, your childhood best friend. 

You had sat in your living room unable to do much other than sit and wait it out as they made a mess of your room. You hadn’t even been able to cry about it. You felt shocked and disgusted and used.

The first to walk out of your room was Jeonghan, around his neck was the very necklace you’d given him when you were kids. A tiny paper airplane that had meant a lot to you both. One identical to his hung from your own neck. And yet, he had it on while he had sex with another woman in your home, on your bed. 

“Oh… when did you get here?” He had asked.

“Get out.” You softly said as you stood and walked past him and towards your bedroom where Lina was standing wrapped in your sheets and looking at the ground. “Both of you. Leave.” 

“Y-y/n. I can explain.” She managed. But you weren’t going to hear it. With a fistful of her hair you dragged her towards your front door not caring if all she was wearing was the only set of bed-sheets you owned. You were going to throw them out afterwards anyways. 

“Hey! Hey! Y/N Chill” Jeonghan’s voice only made you see red. 

“Get the fuck out. Don’t fucking talk to me. Get out!” You yelled shoving him out behind Lina. “Don’t ever show your face to me again asshole.”

You were brought back by the slight shift of your chair. Jeonghan had taken a seat right by your feet and he was staring at you. Dark eyes tracing your features. “You cut your hair.” He noted “and you lost weight… are you not ea-”

“I thought I told you I didn’t want to see your face again. What do you want?”

He leaned back and smirked. “For you to stop acting like a baby and start talking to me again. You’ve missed out on some really good parties.”

“Thanks for the offer. But I’ll pass.” You answered as you stood from your seat and grabbed what was left of the 12 pack you’d smuggled out of the party. “Here, keep these, you kinda ruined my drinking mood.” Dropping the beers onto his lap you started towards the sliding doors again, only to be brought to a stop by Jeonghan’s grip on your arm.

“You and I, we weren’t dating.” He mumbled. “You have no reason to be mad at me.”

It took you a few seconds to collect yourself. Were you ready to have that conversation? Did you really want to have that fight?

You did.

“You fucked my best friend, Jeonghan-”

“So what? I’m not your boyfriend. You know how I am.” He grit through his teeth. “It’s no secret that I don’t want a relationship.”

“I wasn’t fucking asking you for one.” You shoved him away from you and glared at him. “I never fucking asked to be your girlfriend… you know how I feel about you, you always have known. I’ve never made it a secret, and although I knew you would never give me what I wanted from you, I expected you to at least be a half decent human being. I expected you to respect me at least a little. Just little enough to not fuck a girl in my own house, on my own fucking bed Jeonghan.”

Fuck.

You were crying. Why were you crying? Jeonghan reached his hand out to you, eyes softened as he realized there was tears on your cheeks. “Y/N-”

“Y/N what?! What now?! You’re gonna push your bullshit ‘I’m bad for you’ agenda again?! You’re gonna say that you warned me? That I should’ve stayed away from you? Fuck you Jeonghan. You keep telling me all these stupid things but you somehow never take responsibility for shit.” Once the words start, you can’t stop them. “Since we were kids you’ve done what you want, you’ve gotten what you want, said what you want without regard for anyone but yourself. You’re selfish, you’re spoiled, you’re a fuckboy, you think you know everything there is to know and somehow I still pushed my feelings away and gave you my friendship… but you don’t know shit about friendship or love. You don’t know shit Jeonghan.”

“What the fuck am I supposed to do?! That’s who I fucking am, Y/N-”

“SAY YOU’RE SORRY JEONGHAN” your voice is loud and shrill and gross, but you want to be heard. “You never say you’re sorry! You never admit you’re wrong Jeonghan!”

His chest is rising and falling as he watches you wipe at your face in anger. “It’s not my fault…” he musters quietly.

You scoff in defeat and stare down at your feet. The chain of your airplane necklace suddenly felt heavy and hot and suffocating. You fingers gripped at the dainty thing and tugged on it hard enough to break the clasp behind your neck. “Yeah… it never is your fault.” You said throwing the necklace at his feet.

“Pick it up.” He ordered.

Behind you the glass door leading to the house opened.

“Y/N?” Your friend Wonwoo was behind you now calling for you, ready to take you back home.

“Pick it up, Y/N.” Jeonghan repeated himself.

You didn’t say a word and made your way towards the familiar form standing next to the house you’d walked out from. “Let’s go” you mumbled between sniffles.

“YAH. Y/N Y/L/N. DON’T TURN YOUR BACK AT ME. PICK THAT FUCKING NECKLACE UP. IF YOU DON'TPICK THAT FUCKING NECKLACE UP WE’RE DONE. THAT’S IT.” He strode towards you but was stopped by Wonwoo’s arm.

“That’s enough… let her go.” Mumbled the taller man before following you back into the house leaving Jeonghan angry and kicking at the chair you’d been sitting in only moments before.

The tiny paper airplane in the grass reflecting the moonlight almost mockingly while Wonwoo’s words repeated in his head like a mantra.

“Let her go.”

//I can’t believe I did it. I am willing to post a second part to this if you all want. Also will be posting a drabble list soon for you everyone to choose from! Let me know what you think!!//

Part 2 is now up!

[0kayblue]

A Peace Offering

Summary: You’ve graduated from Hawkins High and summer has officially begun, bringing new beginnings with it. You’re focused on turning over a new leaf and becoming an actual adult, putting your Queen of Hawkins High title behind you.

So far it’s turned out in your favor. You’ve got a job, your parents almost off your back about college, and a best friend who works for the ice cream shop up stairs.

Adulthood is proving itself to be pretty fruitful, but one day when you go to visit your best friend, Robin, you cross paths with the former King of Hawkins High, Steve Harrington. You and Steve were most definitely not strangers but you wished you were as memories flood both yours and Steve’s minds

Word count: 10k

Notes: Anything written in italics is a memory. It is either a memory from you, Robin, or Steve. I understand how that can be pretty straight forward as you read, but the groundwork for this piece is the memories.

Character Relations: Robin x reader (best friend), Steve x reader (romantic interest), Billy x reader (close acquaintance)  

A/N: Hi! This isn’t the first imagine I’ve ever written, but it is the first Stranger Things centered one. It’s also one of the first imagines I’ve ever even posted. I really enjoyed writing this and I also feel a little accomplished, lol. There might be a part two? I haven’t decided if I really want to dive deeply into this or not yet. Anyway, if you read thank you so much! Critiques and comments are welcomed with open arms!

WARNINGS: Cursing, lots of cursing. Fluff? Angst? A mix of emotions.

                                                    ……………

As you flashed an obviously fake smile at the dusty blonde man who “complimented” you on your ruby red lipstick, you felt the urge to jump across the table and strangle him.

“Well, I thank you. It’s a new shade I’ve decided to try out. Now, is that all I can grab for ya?” You said with a tone too sweet to indicate how venomous it actually was. The fake twang seemed to echo in your head and you wondered how anyone with a natural accent could handle the sound of their own voice.

“Ah, no thank you dear. I’m afraid that’ll be it.” He smirked and you simply nodded as you turned and walked up to the diner window. Your cheery facade fading as you glared at the cook behind the open order window.

Sal, the cook, chuckled as he analyzed how upset you were starting to get. You weren’t a stranger to the irritation you felt every time you stepped foot in this damn diner.

You clipped the order onto one of clothespins and let out a deep sigh as you rested your head on the cool smooth steel counter. Sal just smiled as he threw a hamburger patty on the grill. You looked up at him and he just continued to chuckle.

“Y’know I think you should drop that fake twang, you might be less miserable.” Sal was a bigger built man, he reminded you of your father, just bald.

“I might be less miserable if I didn’t have to wear scratchy outdated themed clothes that do nothing but irritate the irritable.” You huffed out laying your head flat on the counter.

“Mhm.” He just groaned out. “Only way you are getting rid of that poodle skirt is if you quit.” You groaned in defeat knowing quitting was not an option.

“Then it’s empty pockets.” You said as you stood up straight, the snickering of table five being overheard. “Damned if I do, damned if I don’t.”

“I’m serious, kid. I don’t know why you are here. You should be enjoying your summer and going to college in the fall. You’re smart enough for it.” You rolled your eyes.

College seemed to be the only thing that people wanted out of you. A nice college education and maybe you could make something out of yourself. You couldn’t help but scoff and give Sal a look of distaste.

“I’ve been over this with you. And my parents. And my grandparents. And basically everyone. I don’t want to go, at least not yet. I want the experience of working first.” This wasn’t an exact lie per say, it was more of a beefed up truth. You didn’t want to go back into the school system mainly because it just made you feel like shit, and you believed knowing all sides is better than just one. So an honest job was not only a way to get experience and out of college pressure, but to also to hold onto to this fleeting feeling of youth.

“Besides, this is also to fund potential college endeavors.” You smiled as he placed two plated burgers on the counter in front of you.

“Yeah, right. You better take this to table five so you can take your break.” You rolled your eyes as you picked up the plates and walked over to table five with a painful fake smile.

“One double cheeseburger with fries and a single hamburger with extra ketchup and fries.” You sat the plates in front of the correct recipients of their order. “Is there anything else I can get ya? Refills, maybe a milkshake?”

“A strawberry milkshake, but only if we can share, doll face.” You looked at the black haired man as the blonde across from him stifled a laugh. You bit your inner lip taking a deep breath and tried not to break your smile.

“So you won’t be needing anything else. Wonderful.” You reached into your apron pocket and pulled out your order book. You ripped out their order and lightly slammed it on there table. “I’m afraid I won’t be able to check you out due to the fact that my break is about to start, so just take your receipt up to the register and Sal will check ya out.”

The black haired man sent a glare but quickly recomposed himself with a smirk. “No problem, doll. A milkshake tomorrow, then?” You unwillingly bit your tongue and just smiled.

“We’ll see.” You said and turned. You tried to not stomp as you walked back and pushed open the kitchen door, but it didn’t work. You could hear them laughing as you yanked your punch card off the wall.

“Don’t let them get ya.” Sal said as you went ahead and punched your time card into the machine signaling you were officially off the clock. You yanked off your apron and threw it on the clean counter by the freezer.

“Yeah, uh huh, I’m headed to Scoops. You want me to bring you back anything?” You said as you took your hair out of that headache inducing high ponytail. As you fluffed your hair out you took a deep breath and exhaled, clearly exhausted from working the morning and afternoon shifts.

“No thank you. Watching my figure.” You chuckled as you walked past him patting him on the back.

“Suit yourself.” You said as you walked out into the nearly dead mall. You figured the heat index was keeping everyone either inside or at the pool, but you honestly didn’t expect the mall to look this empty. It was weird to only have to walk past people and not forcefully push your way past.

Starcourt was Hawkins newest addition and it’s busiest. Which was sort of sad as you saw local businesses close one by one. You overheard of a scheduled protest to take place on the lawn of City Hall, but other than that, nothing was really being done to help savage Hawkin’s local flare. You weren't doing much to help it either, I mean hell, you worked for Starcourt. There wasn’t anything you could really do, you tried to get a job down main street, but alas no one would hire you. Mainly because they couldn’t afford to pay you for any work you might actually stumble upon.

So, naturally, you ended up working in Prime Time 50s Diner on the first floor right across from Hot Dog On A Stick. Which was just as depressing as it sounded. Hot Dog On A Stick was busier than the diner nine times out of ten and you legitimately thought about moving across the way just for something more to do.

As you stepped on the escalator you spotted the bright flashing bulbs of the big Scoops Ahoy sign. You enjoyed ice cream and even though you had ice cream at your job you couldn’t resist the getaway from the smell of greasy cheeseburgers and the constant repeat of the same old songs. You walked your way into Scoops Ahoy glancing at the few people eating ice cream inside. No employee in sight as you approached the front counter. You smirked and began to ring the front bell in front of the register rather obnoxiously. You loved this stupid little bell it was a great way to get under Robin’s skin. You stopped ringing the bell and just stood there for a split second and rang it one more time. You snickered and headed over to look at the ice cream flavors they had today. Contemplating on trying something new or not, you wouldn’t, but it was always nice to look.

Your ears perked up as you heard shuffling to the door, a thud, and then a sliding window open.

“Ahoy!” Robin said with a tone of annoyance in her voice. Her face sarcastically fell realizing it was just you and you smiled. A slight smirk found her face when you giggled at her.

“Ahoy there!” You said as you lazily gave her a two finger salute. You both let out a laugh and she walked around and met you on the other side of the counter.

“What are you up to?” She asked and you just shrugged.

“Same old, same old.” You smirked as you saw Robin grab your favorite flavor. “You know I could’ve changed my mind, I could’ve wanted the U.S.S. Butterscotch.”

“As if.” Robin said as she rolled her eyes. You always knew of Robin, you, of course, went to high school together and knew each other through passing. But you never were friends. You simply just knew of each other and that was that, until one day during your lunch break you guys started talking.

The food court was packed and almost every seat was filled, except for two right across from each other. You sat on one side and Robin sat across from you on the other side. You started friendly conversation not expecting much of anything to come from it.

“So, you work at the 50s place?” She asked trying to keep her gaze towards you limited. You wondered what she actually thought of you. You hoped that you never did anything to offend or hurt her in high school because she was proving to be pretty cool and not just the band geek you originally thought.

“Yeah.” You said with a friendly smile, wondering how much she remembered of you from high school.

You were the Queen of Hawkins and the ruthless truth rang down the halls as you called people out on their bullshit. If they started something you would sure as hell would end it. Not in any physically violent way, but words do cut like knives.

You understood that, but you couldn’t stop yourself once the thought entered your brain. People liked seeing you be a bitch, so you were a bitch. For six hours a day five days a week, you were Queen of Hawkins High, the Bitch of Indy, not (Y/N).

“You should stop by, it’ll be on me.” You smiled honestly wanting to give Robin a chance. You were tired of being lonely and pretending. You wanted a friend, an actual friend, something you haven’t had in a long time. It was time to be an adult.

Robin’s head shot up as her eyes meet with yours. There was some sort of gleam in her eyes, like she was finally able to hang out with the popular girl. Your eyes met hers with a shared excitement.

Now, this was something new and you planned to just let the walls you built crumble a bit and you were genuinely excited. High school was over and you could be who you wanted to be, who you should have been.

“Maybe tomorrow, lunch?” You questioned and she nodded. You stood up and apologized due to the fact your break was over. “Great. I have to get going. I’ll see you then.”

“See you then.” Robin said with a smirk as she returned to her Chinese food.

The next day she met you for lunch and you gave being open a chance. You didn’t expect Robin to stay after that, but she did. She put up with your stubbornness and your tendencies to shut down, and actually stuck around and helped you out of that hole you were stuck in for so long.

You told each other everything and you both knew everything about each other. Even Robin’s biggest secret which was actually pretty funny because you thought she was dying when she very mysteriously “had something she needed to tell you before your friendship could continue”.

“Seriously? That’s it?” You questioned.

“Yeah.” She said shakily and she was so nervous. “I’m a lesbian and I understand if that’s a problem and you don’t want to be friends-.”

“Robin.” You cut her off abruptly. “I thought you were dying. Dying. You being gay doesn’t matter to me. As long as you are happy I will always support you. You are my best friend and I have no idea where I’d be without you.” You pulled her into a hug, holding back tears. Robin let a few slip, but would never admit it. As you parted you put your hands on her shoulders.

“Movie night?” You asked smiling.

“Movie night.” She affirmed.

“What are you up to tonight?” You asked her.

“Not much of anything. Movie night?” She asked as she handed you ice cream and as you took it you nodded. You shoved money into the tip jar knowing that she wouldn’t take it. She rolled her eyes and you heard another thud from the back. You raised an eyebrow and tried to glance around her. She quickly fidgeted so you couldn’t take a peak, not that you’d be able to see into the break room that was down the hall.

“What is going on back there? Did they finally hire some help?”

“Just some shelf assembly.” Robin said and you raised an eyebrow quizzically. What type of shelf was being put together? What idiot was assembling it? “But, yeah they finally hired help. What movies are you thinking of for tonight? I was thinking maybe a classic or something along those lines.” She tried to gently ease the conversation away from the noise that came from the back. You just shrugged.

“Anything works tonight.” You said taking a lick from the ice cream cone as you studied Robin. She’s hiding something and it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out Robin knew something you didn’t. “Who is your new co-worker? It isn’t Tommy is it?” You stifled a laugh picturing Tommy in the sailor uniform. You leaned against the counter continuing to eat your ice cream.

“Ah ha, no. So, about this movie how do you feel about Dargonslayer, I heard-.”

“So you are avoiding the co-worker conversation.” You cut her off and grinned. “Do I know them? Is it Tammy? C’mon just tell me-.” You went to finish but was cut off by the loudest thud thus far.

All conversation stopped in Scoops Ahoy as you and Robin made desperate eye contact before you both ran into the back. As you both took a sharp turn into the break room your eyes locked with the complete and utter idiot who was laying underneath the poorly constructed steel shelf.

“Harrington?” You spat, your actions not correlating with your wicked tone as you went to pull the shelf back onto its four legs.

“(Y/L/N)?” He questioned his eyes not leaving you as he pushed the shelf off of him as you pulled it up. The shelf wasn’t completed therefore it wasn’t that heavy but it was in fact tall. When you had it back and up straight you crossed your arms as Robin gave Steve a helping hand up.

You crossed your arms and glared at him.

“What are you doing here?” He asked as he dusted himself off. Robin chewed the inside of her cheek knowing it was only a matter of time before you and Steve crossed paths.

“Why are you failing to assemble a simple shelf?” You questioned and he mocked you. You could cut the tension in the room it was so thick.

“Ha, well I think it’s time for you to scurry out of here. Besides you aren’t supposed to back here anyways..” Robin said with a clap trying to relive some of that bottled up tension, being no stranger to the rocky relationship you and Steve had.

“Yeah, Scoops Ahoy employees only.” Steve said as he went back to the shelf and its instructions. Steve wanted to continue to look at you, but knew it was best to turn away.

“Right.” You said not wanting to hang around anyway.

“Right.” He said as he picked up a screw driver.

“I’ll see you tonight, Robin. 7 as usual.” You said as you left. You took a lick of your ice cream cone and shuttered. It no longer tasted as sweet nor as refreshing as it usually did. You couldn’t believe that Steve Harrington was the newest Scoops Ahoy employee. Throwing the ice cream in the trash you left Scoops Ahoy with mixed emotions.

Robin went to call after you but decided to let it go. She glared at Steve and Steve just looked back at her somewhat confused.

“What did I do? Are you guys friends?” Steve asked as he put the last screw into the shelf to make it sturdy. He was clearly disgruntled, something Robin hasn’t really seen on Steve. He was just fine not too long ago, going on about how Dustin was to be coming back from camp soon.

“What is with you two? You guys have been bickering back and forth, since, well the whole King and Queen thing started.” Robin said as she began to help Steve by putting boxes of plastic utensils on the newly constructed shelf. You never told Robin the real reason you and Steve were at each other's throat, she asked one time, but didn’t get anywhere.

“Some people just don’t get along.” Steve grunted, a hint of sadness lingering. It was out of character, well as far as Robin was concerned, to see Steve get so upset so fast. Not to mention stay upset about something.

“Something has to have happened. I believe you guys were fairly close in middle school.” Robin said and Steve just sighed.

“Harrington!” You yelled from the end of the middle school hallway as kids tried to rush past you and out the school.

“(Y/L/N)!” Steve yelled back as he shut his locker and lightly jogged down to the end of the hall to meet you. As he met you with a smile you both walked out of the school and continued on the way down to the end of the street. You and Steve both walked home and went in the same general direction, so it just made sense to Steve for you both to just walk together. Thus, a friendship was born.

“Did you see Mrs. Karly today? What was the deal with those glasses? They made her look like an owl.” He said and you both laughed picturing the big bright orange circular glasses on Mr. Karly’s thin and brittle face.

“Well it was nothing compared to Carol’s new braces.” You chuckled smiling at Steve as both your laughter died down.

Once you guys where further away from the school you sighed and your head fell. Steve could sense that something wasn’t quite right with you and he playfully pushed your shoulder.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” He asked as he could feel a type of fear grow in his stomach.

“It’s nothing really. I think I’m just worrying for no reason…Maybe?” You questioned facing him.

“Spill the beans, (Y/N).” He said and you just sighed.

“Do you think we will still be friends, Steve. In high school? I mean we only have one more semester of middle school, one, and then a new cycle of everything begins.” You let the words fall from your mouth as you tugged on your back pack straps.

Steve looked at you baffled wondering why you would think he’d leave you. Steve really liked you, really liked you. You were funny, and honest, and not to mention very pretty. What would bring him to not have you around him in the slightest had to end.

“Of course we will.” He said in a stern tone unsure of how to exactly convince you he didn’t want to be anywhere you weren't. You laughed and the way he looked at you with such seriousness made your checks warm.

“Yeah, of course, we will.” You said with a smile as you looked at Steve. He coughed and looked away as a hand found the back of his neck, his body temperature rising causing him to flush red. You laughed and punched him in the shoulder and you both just died of laughter.

When you both parted ways that night to your proper houses, you both had a lot to think about.

“Just forget about it.” Steve said, clearly cranky and an out of place redness to his face. “She’s your friend, why don’t you ask her.”

“After how upset you just made her, with only saying, what, eleven words in total to her. I’m clearly afraid to ask her anything.” Robin and Steve finished putting the multiple boxes from the floor onto the shelves. “So,  go on, what exactly happened? High school is over, right?” Steve rolled his eyes and pulled out a chair from the break room table and sat down. Steve hasn’t really talked about you since his last rant about you to Nancy Wheeler.

“I just don’t understand! It’s like she’s lost her goddamn mind! What is she thinking getting between Carol and Tommy like that?” Steve exclaimed to Nancy. Nancy was listening to Steve, but her mind was also going elsewhere with thoughts of Barb’s parents and how her and Steve had to cancel dinner, yet again.  “She’s not stupid, Nance. She has to know that Carol isn’t taking this lightly.” Steve said with frustration as he ran his hand through his hair. Nancy just nodded making a noise of affirmation.

Steve was trying to focus on the road and wrap his head around your actions and why all of a sudden you chose to mess around with Tommy. Tommy, of all people, Tommy. Really? It made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up and his blood boil at just the thought of Tommy.

He was a giant prick! If anyone knew that, you did! You constantly reprimanded Tommy. He couldn’t believe it when he first overheard some people in the hallway gossiping about it. You hated Tommy, you have since fifth grade. Tommy! Who’s next, that new guy, Billy? Steve’s hand moved from his hair as he put it out of the car window. Steve grunted as subconsciously his foot put more weight on the gas.

Why are you fucking around and acting like a child? Is it because he hasn’t apologized for what he said at that party junior year? Is it because you needed some type of drama? What ever happened to Michael McEvers? Were you just lonely and would just take anyone? What was he chopped liver?!

“Steve!” Nancy shouted and Steve brought his full attention back to the road and the stop sign fast approaching. Steve’s foot slammed on the break as he watched the blue Camaro race past their four way stop. Steve and Nancy both caught their breath and looked at each other. Steve took a deep breath and just slammed his hands against the steering wheel. Nancy, finally pulled out of her own thoughts  of guilt began to comfort Steve as he laid his head against the steering wheel and sighed.

Somehow, he managed to make it through a lecture from his father this morning, starting yet another college application, a rough basketball practice with Billy joining the team, and a deep conversation with Nancy that nearly avoided a break up. And this, this was just the icing on the cake. Steve’s eyes started to water.

“Steve, honey, it’s okay.” Nancy’s brows furrowed as she cooed and rubbed Steve’s back.

“She just-. I just-.” Steve began but kept getting cut off by his own sobs. “I should’ve stuck around. I shouldn’t have blown her off. I kept meaning to call. I keep meaning to show up at her door and talk with her. I should’ve been there for (Y/N), Nancy. Why wasn’t I there?” Steve sat up and put the car in park. “O-Oh yeah, that’s right I was too busy being an absolute a-ass.” Steve sniffed trying to pull it together. Nancy leaned against Steve’s shoulder and ran her hand up and down his arm.

“Steve, things happen. People get busy, especially after what we just went through. You can’t let yourself be responsible for everyone. It’s okay.” Nancy said as she placed a kiss on his cheek and genuinely felt bad for Steve. Steve just sighed out a chuckle and shook his head slowly. He could’ve fixed things with you. Steve took another big sniff and without even thinking he just started speaking.

“I just miss (Y/N), so much, Nance. If I could go back and get her, I would. In a heartbeat.” Steve rubbed his red and irritated eyes and his mind just focused on you.

They sat there as Nancy seriously began to contemplate on her and Steve’s relationship, and the relationships they didn’t take.

Steve regretfully looked at Robin as she sat on the edge of her seat. Steve sighed and took a deep breath.

“We just got into a fight. That’s all.”

“You can’t just leave it at that. I need to know the details.” Robin said with a raging curiosity in her mind. Robin knew that you would tell her in your own time, but she wanted to know now. It was hard to admit but Steve’s goofiness was growing on her and the fact that he actually did stuff at Scoops and she wasn’t alone anymore made her life a lot easier. Robin looked furiously at Steve and he just sighed.

“Take a seat.” He said and gestured to the other seat. As Robin took a seat, Steve thought about where to begin. It’s funny how you can recall things in such vivid detail and once someone asks you what happened you can’t find the words to say to describe it.

A laugh escaped both yours and Steve’s lips as you flopped down on the king sized bed that belonged to Tammy Thompson’s parents. You both laid next to each other on the bed. Neither of you were drunk, just a little tipsy. You both had drunk enough just to find each other and sneak off together.

As you stared at the ceiling Steve’s eyes were glued to you. He took in the way your hair fanned out onto the bed and how it looked against the dark purple comforter. He wondered what was going on in that head of yours and how he could work his way in there and take up as much of your attention as he could.  

As you rolled your head over to look at him and you had a big goofy smile on your face. A redness started to become present on your cheeks.

“What?” You questioned as you playfully punched him on the shoulder. You focused on blinking as if your eyes were cameras taking pictures of this moment and capturing it so you could put those pictures into a scrapbook.

“You are beautiful, (Y/N) (Y/L/N).” He said with rose tinted cheeks that he blamed the booze on. He also blamed the booze on this need to be close to you, this need to tell you how wonderful you are, and how he had to be touching you. As his hand laid against yours his eyes studied the way your lips looked, and he couldn’t help but wonder what flavor chapstick they tasted like.  

“Shut up, Steve. You’re drunk.” You stated as you snuck a glance at his lips telling yourself not to linger for too long. You couldn’t make that mistake tonight, even though the thought of both your lips synchronized in harmony against each other warmed you to your core.

“What, and you’re not?” Steve asked as he looked into your eyes. You bit your lip, like a tease, and Steve swore on God that you were going to be the death of him. He wanted your body pressed against his, he wanted his hands to roam over every square inch of your body, he needed to know how your lips felt against his. As his thoughts drove him insane he came to the conclusion that tonight, wasn’t the night for that. Not while you both of you were almost off your asses, you deserved better. He wanted to give you better.

You turned on your side as you propped yourself up you began to think about that one conversation you had on that one walk home from school. Your mind quick to distract yourself from the intrusive thoughts of Steve.

“Why didn’t we stay friends, Steve?” You questioned sadly, not exactly wanting to take that road. It was too late now and now you had to know.

“We still are friends.” Steve lied looking up at the ceiling and away from you. Steve couldn’t look at you and lie, he couldn’t handle the way your features settled into disappointment.

“Bullshit. We really aren’t, Steve. This is the first night in, like, forever that we have had an actual fragment of a conversation.” You said exasperated, beginning to get annoyed.

“(Y/N), can we not, can we just-.” You sighed and sat up. As sadness filled the room where drunken laughter once rang out. Steve followed you quickly and reached for your wrist. “Hey. C’mon, (Y/N), what does it matter?  We are friends right now. Stay with me.” You yanked your arm away from his gentle grip.

“What does it matter?” You said standing up and Steve sighed. Your heart broke. Steve sat up straight up as he felt the consequences of what he said.

He fucked up, he royally fucked up.

“It matters because I’ve tried calling and everytime I did your mom answered and said you were out. Or that- that you had a friend over to help you study.” You said putting air quotes around the words “out” and “study”.

“I’ve been busy.” Steve said, and he has been. Trying to navigate his way through his feelings and thoughts. Evaluating what he wanted and building a reputation along the way. You just chuckled and Steve stood up annoyed. “Like you haven’t?” He questioned with an edge to his voice. Trying to keep the volume down not wanting anyone to overhear.

“What is that supposed to mean?” You questioned and Steve stood there dumbfounded. You weren’t with him, therefore you had to have been busy.

“You know what it’s supposed to mean. I’ve seen you around with Michael and his crew of football cronies!” His voice raised and stern, any thought of keeping anyone from hearing gone. You let out a sharp laugh. “Which has apparently given you a complex to just go and call anyone out. You yelled at Tommy just this past week.”

“Tommy needed to be yelled at! He was ogling up Barb and Nancy like they were greasy hamburgers fresh off the grill!”

“That’s what Tommy does! He’s harmless!” Steve bickered back.

“So that’s supposed to make it okay?” You questioned raising your brows and looking at him in disbelief.

“What? No, of course not!” You just shook your head and rolled your eyes.

“Then why don’t you say anything? Why don’t you call Tommy out on his bullshit? Ever! You just stand there with this look on your face. It’s like you know what you are doing is wrong but you don’t do anything about it! You just stand there with this shit eating grin and it’s not you! It’s not you.” You yelled and Steve was left speechless. He didn’t know what to say and even if he did, he wouldn’t know how to say it. Tears were threatening to start to pour, but you just sniffed refusing to start crying.

Steve wanted to apologize. Steve knew you were right. Steve understood that his actions weren’t a true reflection of who he was. He was just lost and the attention he was getting wasn’t something he wanted to give up, yet. So as most things go.

“Not me? (Y/N), you don’t know me! You don’t know shit about me and you can’t stand here and lecture me when you have your own title you don’t even live up too! Queen of Hawkins my ass! You show off this fake face to everyone and feed into their obsession of seeing if they can please you or not. They see this mean character that you mask around as and you love it!” He yelled and you just laughed because you knew he was right to a point.

“Yeah, well, at least they get honesty from me!” You shouted back at him.

“Do they get the complete honest you, though?” Steve asked his voice lowering, selfishly hoping that he was the only one that knew this you. The real you. You stood there refusing to give him the ‘no’ he wanted and you gritted your teeth as you headed for the door. As your hand gripped the door knob you took a deep shaky breath and then exhaled. As you faced Steve with a couple tears leaking out of your eyes. Steve’s demeanor softened and he regretted everything he just said. He went to bring you into a him but stopped as you flinched away from him. You longed for his embrace but you knew it would shatter your already broken pieces. Steve stood frozen, broken, and hesitantly awaiting for you to say something. Anything.

“Like you said, ‘what does it matter’? We all put on these facades and we don’t get hurt. I don’t get hurt.” You said as strongly as you could as you opened the door and began to walk away from the room as quickly as you could without alerting the rest of the party that something had happened in that room. Steve just looked at the empty doorway and his jaw tightened. He paced the length of the bed thinking.

“Shit.” He shouted frustrated with himself. What was he doing? Maybe it wasn’t too late to change. Maybe he could fix things, fix this. Steve took strong strives out the door and he began to scan the hall for you. His pace quickened as he repeated your name.

“(Y/N).” He tried to say audible enough for you to hear over the blaring music as you made a beeline for the stairs.

“(Y/N)! I need-!” Steve was cut off by a sharp hit on his shoulders. It was Tommy.

“You slept with (Y/N)?” He asked with a sinister grin and a light laugh.

“What? No, Tommy I need to get-.” Steve went to begin.

“You dog!” Tommy shouted. “King Steve! King Steve! King Steve!” As Tommy began to chant the whole party started to join in. With their chants getting louder and louder you turned and glared at Steve.

Steve’s heart broke and your glassy eyes told him enough. You stumbled down the stairs and away from the chanting upstairs.

“(Y/N), wait!” Steve shouted as he began to take off after you. The chanting followed Steve down the stairs, Tommy sinsterly lurking behind him. His eyes glued to the back of your head as he tried to get as close as he could to you. He didn’t want to let go, he wanted to fix this.

As you were almost out the door you tripped over the now stained welcome mat and into Michael McEvers arms.

“(Y/N), are you okay?” Michael asked concerned pulling you up and you just nodded while trying to dry your eyes and sniffling. Steve was so close to touching you when Michael’s eyes met Steve’s he knew Steve did something. “Get away from her, Harrington!” Michael shouted as he pulled you out into the porch and slammed the door behind you. Steve went to go after you to make things right but Tommy’s hand found Steve’s shoulder holding him back.

“Let the slut go. C’mon we can get you another.” Tommy said wrapping his arm around Steve’s shoulders.

Maybe it was best that he let you go. He’d only say the wrong things and hurt you even more. He couldn’t fix this, he couldn’t make things right, it was just too late. He had to accept that. Michael was a good guy anyway, he could give you things Steve couldn’t. Steve took a deep breath furrowing his brows as a headache started to form.

“Let’s get you wasted.” Tommy said as he went to go get Steve a drink. Being wasted and feeling as light as air sounded a hell of a lot better than how heavy and broken he felt now.

As Steve finished his brief synopsis of your guys’s argument to Robin, guilt settled in his stomach.

“And you didn’t say anything after that night?”

“No, I figured it was best to leave her be. She didn’t need me anymore. Or at all to be completely honest.” Steve said as the bell from outside rang and he stood up pushing in the chair and working his way to the front. Robin followed him on his heels. He silently thanked whatever customer rang the front bell.

“Are you serious?” She questioned wondering how someone could be so stupid.

“I wasn’t going to waste my breath.” Steve said. He thought about making it up to you countless times. But, one time he called when he really needed you, desperately needed you, you couldn’t get to the phone.

“You are joking?” Robin was astounded with how much of an idiot Steve was being.

“Why don’t you just talk to her?” You strained out through a hick-up as you leaned against Robin’s shoulder looking at both of your reflections in the pool. Robin just laughed.

“Let me just waltz up to Tammy Thompson and say, ‘Hey! I really like you and I think you should’ve been gazing into my eyes instead of at that stupid Steve Harrington!’ yeah, you do that and then tell me how well it works for you.” Robin continued to laugh. It was a movie night and for some reason you couldn’t focus on that dumb rom-com you picked. Which lead to you sneaking some beers from your dad's “secret” stash and hiding out in the backyard wasted with Robin. Sitting on the side of the pool with your bare feet in the water and you smiled sadly. Steve, “the hair”, Harrington. King Steve. You snickered at the thought of him and you could almost smell a faint hint of Farrier Fawcett hairspray.

“What made you two go at each other’s throats all the time?” Robin just asked. You looked at her confused.

“You and Steve. You guys were always bickering and it literally made no sense. I mean you were Queen and he was King of Hawkins. Why didn’t you guys run the place together?” You nodded sadly understanding what Robin was saying.

“Yeah, I really liked, Steve. Like I mean I liked him.” You said with an emphasis on “liked”, but it was so much more than the simple like.

“Oh.” Robin said shortly understanding fully well how that stuff works.

“But then he turned into ass hat McAsserton and everything changed. He just pissed me off so much, and it wasn't him, like, I know Steve Harrington. He is such a goof and he was being someone I knew, I knew he wasn’t and I just couldn’t stand it. He’s such an-.”

“He’s changed, y’know.” Robin cut you off. “He’s lonely.” Steve had just hired in at Scoops Ahoy and Robin could tell that something had changed and for the better. You scoffed and slid off of her shoulder as you laid on the wood deck connected to the above ground pool.

“Okay.” You snorted refusing to get your hopes up.

“If you could change why couldn’t he?” Robin stated as she leaned back to joining you. “Think about it.” Robin was right as she usually was. You took a deep breath and thought about that night. You should talk to him. You should go see him. You should be there. Then maybe this weight on your chest would be gone. This summer you would finally patch things up with Steve Harrington once and for all. A creed you pushed aside in the morning once the hangover was gone.

“Well, I think you could do better than Tammy anyway.” You said as you turned your head and looked at her with a smile.

“You think?” Robin asked knowing what you were doing, but she just let it be. She wasn’t going to force you to talk about anything you didn’t want to talk about.

“Oh my god, definitely, Robin.” You both laughed as your thoughts wondered about Steve.

“Don’t you miss her?” Robin asked, her tone giving away her confusion.

“Of course I miss her, Robin.” Steve said in a matter of fact tone. “What can I get for you?” Steve asked as he pulled out his ice cream scoop from it’s holster around his waist. He twirled it in his hand as the old lady examined the flavors.

“You do understand that all of this could be solved by just talking to her. Right?” Robin said with her hands on her hips and a serious look in her eyes.

“Gee, I never thought of that.” Steve said with an airy laugh.

“How about the mint chocolate chip?” The lady said squinting trying to figure out who exactly she was talking to.

“You could have fooled me, Steve.” Steve made a ‘tsk’ sound as he shook his head and began scooping up some ice cream.

“It’s a lot easier said than done when you have that much history with someone, especially someone as stubborn as her. Also, she could come to me, y’know.” Steve said putting the ice cream into a sugar cone and taking it down to the register handing it to the old lady not even bothering to ring her up. “It’s on the house.” Steve said frustrated, what if you didn’t want him around anyway.

“Why thank you, Miss.” She said taking it and hobiling away. Robin stifled a laugh as Steve threw his hands in the air out of frustration. Today has not been his day.

“Steve.” Robin said straightening up bringing her focus back to the matter at hand. “Do you honestly think the Queen of Hawkins would go to you first? Especially when she was in the height of her high school career? Honestly? Especially after the whole school branded her a slut after that party. Which you totally should have done something about, by the way. Jumping from you to Michael when she didn’t even have a thing with either of you.” Steve stood up straight.

“She didn’t have a thing with Michael? They were dating, holding hands in the hall and everything.” Steve said feeling completely and utterly confused.

“No, dingus. Michael’s-. (Y/N) fake dated him to keep it from getting out that him and Tyler were, well,-.” Robin said not exactly knowing how to phrase what she was saying. She tried to be cautious not knowing how Steve would take the news that Michael McEvers was totally gay. “A thing.” She said with little fear while she scanned Scoops Ahoy with her prefils hoping the two people there weren’t catching on.

“Michael McEvers?” Steve questioned wondering how he didn’t pick up on it. Then again he could’ve sworn Jonathan Byers was gay, but he was currently seriously invoved with Nancy. “Wait, how do you know that?” Steve asked Robin with an eyebrow raised.

“(Y/N) told me.” Robin said quick to get any suspicious thoughts about herself away from the conversation.

“Shit.” Steve mumbled.

“Y’know I think that pale yellow looks great on you, Mike.” You said as you straightened up Michael’s cardigan.

“Really?” He questioned.

“Of course.” You said as you leaned against the lockers. “Tyler doesn’t know what he’s talking about.” Michael shut his locker as he awkwardly took your hand.

“Thank you, for all this.” Michael said quietly and you just smiled.

“Please don’t mention it.” You smiled softly as you both walked down the hall.

“Do you want to go to the movies tonight? Tyler will meet us there.”

“Yeah. Of course.” You said and Michael continued to talk. As you and Michael walked to Algebra you both passed Nancy and Steve. Yours and Steve’s eyes locked, a sadness lingering over the noisy hall. As you passed you looked straight ahead while Steve looked back.

“Steve?” Nancy questioned.

“Uh huh.” Steve said and looked back at Nancy.

“You have basketball tonight, right?”

“Right.” Steve said as he let go of Nancy’s hand and wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

“So a double cheeseburger with a side of onion rings and a large coke to go.” You read off the order to Billy while simultaneously ringing it up.

“You got it, Queen.” Billy said with a wink and you rolled your eyes. Billy had a fascination with you and he couldn’t just place his finger on what made you so different. He liked your attitude and he liked the way you handled yourself.

You and Billy never got together, together, and maybe that’s why he liked you, you weren't throwing yourself at his feet.

Usually when Billy was around you were open and gentle with him, because you could tell he was dealing with something that he couldn’t handle. You wanted Billy to know if, or when, he wanted to talk that you were here.

“What’s the matter, doll?” Billy asked before he could even think about why he even asked.

“Nothing, Billy.” You sighed as you sent the order to Sal. The diner still as empty as it was an hour ago.

“C’mon. I haven’t seen you this frustrated since I almost T-boned Harrington’s car.” Billy laughed.

“That wasn’t funny, he and Nancy could’ve really gotten hurt. Not to mention we could’ve really gotten hurt.” You said leaning against the counter facing him.

“It was an adrenaline trip and you can’t deny that. Almost had you in my lap.” He laughed and you smirked.

“You and I remember that drive very differently then.” You laughed and crossed your arms. Billy smirked trying to think of something that might cheer you up. Maybe keep that smile around.

“Do you remember that Halloween party? Do you remember Tommy being shit faced and his face just colliding with the porch cement out back. He always was a giant prick.” Billy laughed and you did to. You didn’t go to that Halloween party but you had heard about it. You were appreciating what Billy was trying to do so you just went along with it nodding and laughing.

“Mom! Get the phone, please! I’m kind of busy!” You yelled as the phone rang off the hook and you tried to paint your nails with your non dominant hand and flip a page in your magazine at the same time. The last thing you wanted to do was answer the phone to a drunk sobbing Carol asking why you weren’t at this party to comfort her while Tommy hit on anything with a pulse. Steve was also there with Nancy and you didn’t feel like feeling like shit for once. You didn’t want to be jealous of Nancy anymore. You didn’t want to see them. As the phone stopped ringing, your mom obviously not grabbing it, you just sighed. Finally, just some time by yourself. Nice and quiet-. Your thoughts suddenly interrupted by the phone ringing again.

“Mom!” You yelled as your aggravation got the better of you.

“Hold on!” Your mom yelled from downstairs as she shut the door on a couple of trick or treaters in ghostbuster costumes. As she sauntered her way over to the phone she picked it up with a friendly hello.

“The (Y/L/N) residents, (Y/M/N) speaking.”

“H-Hey, Mrs. (Y/L/N). I-It’s a- um Steve. Is (Y/N) around by any chance?” Steve choked out through tears.

“Steve Harrington?” Your mom questioned with an edge to her voice.

“Uh,-.” Steve coughed. “Yeah, Steve Harrington.” He said his voice breaking while he was hoping to God you were home. Your mom chewed the inside of her cheek as she contemplated her next few words as wisely as she could. She knew Steve and she knew that he sent you into multiple whirl winds of consent confusion.

“Mr. Harrington, if you know what is good for you, you’d leave (Y/N) alone and you wouldn’t dare to call this number again.” She threatened and hung up the phone.

Steve on the other end was a mess of tears while his heart felt like a black hole. Steve nodded swallowing back tears. His house was empty, it was just him and the mind numbing silence.

You got up from your desk and went down the stairs to see your mom glaring at the telephone and you were completely bewildered by her strange and unusual attitude. The doorbell rang and as you went to the kitchen she went towards the door.

What could that phone call possibly be about to make your mother's whole attitude change on a dime.

“One double cheeseburger with side onion rings to go!” Sal shouted and as you picked up the to go bag and coke you glanced at the clock. Only 30 minutes left to your shift then Jessica comes in to replace you.

“Well, Billy here you go.” You said as you handed Billy his to go bag of grease.

“(Y/N), if you need a time out, you know my number.” Billy said with a sly smile. His intentions were truly pure, maybe Billy was also growing old of the part he used to play. You smiled at him not breaking eye contact.

“I know, Billy. I know.” you said as Billy completely took the bag and gave you a cheeky wink.

“I’ll see you later, alright?” He said as he turned and left.

“Whatever you say, Billy.” You chuckled and waved. As you watched him leave you heard Sal whistle.

“What?” You snapped as you had a light glare targeted at him.

“You two would be cute together, that’s all.” You rolled your eyes, unfortunately a lover wasn’t on the agenda for you. But, when did your agenda ever go as planned?  

Steve was on the escalator on his way down to the first floor to grab himself and Robin a corn dog as a little snack that wasn’t ice cream. On his way over there he peered into the diner and saw Billy leaving. Steve just scoffed as he hopped off the elevator peering through the big open entrance of the diner catching glimpses of you. As he headed towards Hot Dog On A Stick he stopped. He could see your full frame as you laughed at something someone must’ve said. As he leaned against the pillar near him he examined how when you laughed your hand found your mouth. Steve chuckled as his cheeks grew pink and his stomach flipped excitedly.

He wanted to make things better and that’s all he’s been able to think about since hearing your voice earlier. Since he saw you earlier.

Steve didn’t think he’d ever even see you again. He thought for sure you’d be packed up and out on your own, away from Hawkins, away from him. College bound with the world at your feet. Maybe it was a sign? Maybe it was time. It’s been so long, too long. A peace offering. He needed a peace offering. His brain told him to move, to get going. To use this excitement that was coursing through his veins to pull something together. But his body didn’t move, instead he continued to lean against that pillar and look at you. Just look at you and the way when you really started to laugh you you would throw your head back. He just wanted to look at you for a while longer.

“I swear you just want me to leave.” You said as your laughter died down. You glanced out into the mall and your eyes unexpectedly locked with Steve’s. A light smile on your face as Steve quickly looked away and took off towards Hot Dog On A Stick. You sighed, just talk to him. He wasn’t going to bite, quit being stubborn and grow up.

“Hey, Sal, I’ll be right back. I’ve got something I have to do real quick.” You said and began to lightly jog out of the restaurant and catch up with Steve.

“Hey. Hey!” Sal called and you just waved. Sal rolled his eyes as your eyes locked on the back of Steve’s head. Enough is enough. You are an adult now. You can pick up after yourself and mend relationships. As you finally caught up to Steve and stood behind him in line, and you were about to touch his shoulder to get his attention when all of that confidence left and was replaced with doubt. What if he was still mad? What are you doing? He should be coming to you. He’s the one that fucked up, not you. Turn around and go back.

“I can help you over here, ma’am.” Said a spunky looking teenage girl in a bright and obnoxious primary colored uniform. She pulled you out of your thoughts causing Steve to glance behind him.

“I, uh-.” You began but was cut off by Steve.

“She’s with me.” Steve said quickly, praying that you actually were with him. If you said yes it would make it easier to explain the apology corn dog, if not he’d probably get cold feet and give not only your corn dog to Robin, but his own.

“Uh, um, yeah.” You said awkwardly and he smiled letting out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding. “I’m with him.” So cold feet weren’t an option. Steve had to go through with this long over do make up conversation. You smiled and the girl at the other register just rolled her eyes.

“Three corn dogs.” Said a man in front of Steve holding them between his fingers. Steve broke eye contact with you, turned, and grabbed the corn dogs.

“Thanks.” He said with a smile and handed over some cash. “Keep the change.” Steve spit out quickly as he turned back to you.

“Let’s go for a walk.” You stated not giving Steve the option to turn you down.

“Definitely.” As you both walked out into the nearly empty food court you held your hands behind your back. How did this work? How do you talk to someone you know so well, but were mere strangers with.

“This.” Steve said holding out a corn dog. “This is for you. If you want it of course. I wanted to get you one so we could start talking. Well, I could start talking to you, make it less awkward and maybe soften you up a bit.” Steve let out an awkward laugh and you just smiled. “I don’t even know if you really like corn dogs. I know you used to. I remember when we went to the state fair and you got one that was the size of your head. You said it was good, but people's taste buds change. I guess I should’ve gone with candy, or maybe flowers. I should’ve thought this out-.”

“Steve, you’re beginning to ramble.” You said taking the corn dog. Only Steve Harrington, only Steve Harrington.

“Right, so.” He said before starting in on his corn dog. God, this was hard. You both walked in an awkwardly comfortable silence and before too long Steve’s corn dog was gone. Steve’s always been a nervous eater, it was quite an adorable little quirk he had. You took a bite of your corn dog and held the corn dog closer to him, signaling you’d share yours with him.

“This is a bit weird.” You said as Steve leaned and took a bite of your corn dog. He didn’t say anything but he did agree. It’s been almost two years since you didn’t snap at him the first time you saw him and he didn’t run away. You took another bite of your corn dog and then passed it back to Steve.

“Y’know, I think the sailor uniform fits you, it’s kind of cute.” You laughed and Steve almost choked.  

“S-Seriously?” He laughed and you couldn’t wipe the grin from your face.

“Seriously.” You said with a nod as you guys continued to walk down through the food court. No idea where you were going or how much time has passed. It felt like you’ve been walking for hours, both your corn dogs gone and Robin’s getting cold. When in reality it was only mere minutes since you’ve left the register at Hot Dog On A Stick. You caught a glimpse of  Jessica walking into the diner.

“Steve, I, uh, I’ve got to go. Maybe-.” You started trying to break away from this until you had yourself together and you could put together what you wanted to say and how you wanted to say it.

“I’m sorry.” Steve blurted out. He had to say this before you left. “I’m so sorry. I should’ve listened to you. I should’ve called. I was scared you wouldn’t want to listen to me. I’m still afraid you don’t want to listen to me. I should’ve came around, I just. I thought I was-. I’m a schmuck. I was a real asshole and I’m so sorry. You looked like you had everything figured out. I didn’t think you’d want to deal with me. I tried calling one time and your mom answered, she told me to leave you alone. I mean, I couldn’t blame her, in fact I could even agree with her. I already put you through a lot. It felt wrong, but you seemed to be doing alright and I thought that maybe if I searched for you elsewhere I wouldn’t miss you as much. It didn’t work, I mean it helped, but it didn’t work.  I miss you so much. I want to make things right, I have got to make things right with you. You don’t have to stay around, I just need to know how you feel. I get it if you don’t want to see me again. I’ll leave right now if you want me too. I’ll pack up my sailor hat and I’ll-.” Steve started to speak quickly not even really thinking about the words coming out of his mouth. He just had so much to say and it was pointless for him to try and organize all of it. He wanted you to know every thought that ran through his mind.

“Steve.” You interrupted him and as he caught his breath you grabbed ahold of one of his hands. “I’m sorry too, so unbelievably sorry. I miss you too.” You smiled lightly and Steve let out a nervous sigh as his eyes traveled to your hands holding one of his.

“(Y/N)!” You heard Jessica yell from the diner. You whipped your head around.

“In a minute!” You yelled across the mall. You faced Steve and followed his eyes down to your hands. You quickly let go with an awkward chuckle. Steve let a small smile escape as he saw your cheeks go a rosy red and you playfully pushed him away.

“Truce?” He asked holding out his hand. You smirked and took it both of your hands gliding down each others wrist as your pinkies enter locked. You both had wicked smirks plastered on your faces as you both chuckled.

“You dork.” You said and Steve’s mouth hung open dramatically.

“I’m the dork? You did it too.” He laughed and you both just felt so at peace that it didn’t matter that your fingers were starting to intertwine.

“(Y/N)! Come clock out!” Jessica obnoxiously yelled from the opening of the diner.

“Look, I’ve gotta go. I’ll see you later.” You said as you began to head off towards the diner, your heart lighter than air.

“Movie night tonight, right?” He shouted.

“That’s up to Robin not me!” You shouted turning and walking backwards. “I don’t think she’s sold on you, yet!” You joked and turned back around and entered the diner.

Steve chuckled taking a bite of the other corn dog in his hand. Not sold on him, yet? How could she not be sold on him yet. As Steve swallowed his bite of corn dog he realized that Robin wasn’t going to be sold on him if he went back upstairs with a cold corn dog with a bite taken out of it.

[i-write-about-anything]

Little Beta(s) Part 51

Prompt: Liam get’s turned at an early age and he looks at you as his guardian/parent. Plus you’re dating Scott who’s always trying to look after him. (10 year gap between Liam and reader)

Pairing: Liam Dunbar x Reader (platonic) Scott McCall x Reader, Derek Hale (younger and platonic) x Reader

Chapters:1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20- 21 - 22 - 23 - 24 -25 - 26 - 27 - 28 - 29 - 30 - 31 - 32 - 33 - 34 - 35 - 36 - 37 - 38 - 39 - 40 - 41 - 42 - 43 - 44 - 45 - 46 - 47 - 48 - 49 - 50

(A/N: i wasn’t going to post this cause it’s absolute shit but i feel like i needed to update it to something where you guys won’t worry if i continue it or not lol this might be the ending of this, it might now, maybe they’ll be a spin-off but as of right now i don’t exactly have any more ideas for this fic.)

Scott sat there in the waiting room of the animal clinic, blood spattered all over his body, he had called (y/n) only to let her know he had gotten Liam back. Liam sat next to Scott, his eyes opened wide as he stared directly in front of him replaying the images of what had just happened over and over again. Blood dripped from Liam’s face, his eyes wide open as he continued to think about what had just happened. The door to the animal shelter opened abruptly, (y/n) coming into view but not even that could snap Liam out of the trance he had been in. She ran to Liam, kneeling in front of him before cupping his face in her hands. Liam looked at her, her mouth moving but nothing coming out of it, he had completely muted the world. It took Scott more than a minute to realize that (y/n) was there, in fact he hadn’t realized she was there until her hand grabbed his arm. “Scott.” Her voice was frantic, how could it not be? Two of the people she cares the most about were sitting there, blood all over their bodies. “Scott!” She repeated and this time Scott looked at her, his hand grabbing her arm gently. “Where’s Derek?” Scott continued to look at her with his blank stare. “Scott, where’s Derek?” (Y/N) repeated, her eyes searching for an answer but Scott didn’t say a word.  

“(Y/N).” Deaton’s voice caught her attention, she stood up before turning towards Deaton. His hands covered in blood and she looked at them before pushing passed him into the surgery room Deaton had been in. That’s where he saw him, body lying in a pool of blood on the top of a steel table. Her knees hit the floor before she even felt Deaton’s hands on her shoulders. She couldn’t even hear the screams that were coming out of her own mouth. Liam’s head snapped to the room when he heard the screams, it had been the only thing he heard in the past two hours. He got up and made his way into the room, ignoring the lifeless body on the table. Liam kneeled down next to his mother, her screams loud as she cried.  

“Mom.” Liam whispered too lowly for even he to hear. He wrapped his arms around her and she did the same, crying into his shoulder. Liam too shed a few tears. Scott couldn’t move, he was paralyzed with fear, with guilt. He grabbed his head in his hands before pulling his hair and yelling out in pain, something he hadn’t done in a long time. He got up from his seat, kicking the chair across the room continuing to yell in the process as he trashed the small office, tears streaming down his face. Deaton sighed before looking at Liam who nodded before Deaton walked out of the room, looking at his trashed office. He sighed once more and looked at Scott who was crying as he held onto his head.  

“Scott.” Deaton’s voice was low, he didn’t want to upset Scott more than he already was.  

“How could I have let this happen? How could I have done something like that?” Scott sobbed as he ran his fingers through his hair. “I could have stopped it, I could have saved him.” Scott’s knees buckled as he fell to the floor. “I should have tried harder, I should have-” Scott’s voice broke as more sobs came out, Melissa rushed into the office, Lilly being carried in the cars-eat. She heard Scott before she saw him, she rushed to him setting Lilly down next to them before her arms wrapped around him, Melissa had known about Derek, hell she was the one Deaton called when Scott walked into the animal clinic. Scott cried into her shoulder, Melissa rubbing his back as he continued to cry.

(Y/N) looked at Liam, her hands cupped his face. “Are you hurt?” Her voice cracked as she continued to cry. Liam shook his head and (y/n) got up, bringing Liam with her, she took another look at the lifeless body on the table before sobbing once more and walking out of the room, she saw Scott on the floor and almost immediately she walked to him and fell next to him, leaving Liam standing next to Deaton. Melissa got up and (y/n) wrapped her arms around Scott replacing Melissa’s spot. They both cried into their arms for a while before Liam too kneeled down on the floor, both Scott and (y/n) embracing him.  

“I’m so sorry.” Scott spoke lightly. “I’m so sorry.” He repeated and his voice broke. (Y/N) shook her head hugging him a little tighter. The truth was, there was nothing Scott could have done.  There wasn’t anyone that could have stopped it. Lilly’s cry got everyone’s attention and for a moment the room was silent.  

“I got her.” Melissa spoke looking at her son, blood stained his clothes and his face. (Y/N) kissed Liam’s head, she had been so stupid before, to be mad at him for leaving, he was always better off without her and Scott, they couldn’t even protect Derek.  

“I’m sorry.” (Y/N) whispered to Liam. “I should have never let you leave, we should have never come back.” She pulled him close but he didn’t say a word, he wanted the embrace, he needed it.  

“(Y/N)?” A voice stopped all the noise in the room, making them all turn to the voice they found familiar. They all turned to look at the face they hadn’t seen in over a year. (Y/N) was the first one to get up from the floor and move towards him. She touched his face, scared that she might be imagining things, but she wasn’t.  

“Derek?” She looked up at him, she knew it was him, hell she could recognize him anytime. He nodded and instantly she embraced his tall figure. “How did this happen? How-” (Y/N) looked at Deaton who studied Derek’s figure.  

“I’m not sure.” Deaton circled Derek. “It seems like him dying broke the curse.” Deaton spoke and both Scott and Liam got up from the floor. Liam looked at Derek, his tall form something he hadn’t seen in years.  

“I’m still me.” Derek spoke and Scott looked at him.  

“You’re, you’re, you. Your old you.” Scott wiped his tears and looked at the scar on his throat that had caused him to lose his life. Derek looked down at his hands before touching his face, feeling the beard that he had. (Y/N) loosened her grip on Derek and looked at Liam who had been looking at Derek like he was some kind of extra-terrestrial.  

“Come on man, it’s still me.” Derek chuckled and Liam embraced him. He let out a couple tears before letting him go.  

“I thought we lost you.” Scott was the one to spoke. “I’m sorry, for everything.” Scott looked down and Derek sighed.  

“I don’t blame you, for choosing Liam.” He spoke and Scott’s head shot up.

“I didn-” Scott began but Derek cut him off.  

“Yeah, you did. And I get it, he’s your son, whether you admit it or not. And I have to thank you, for accepting me and taking me in when I needed you guys. I'm really going to miss being a part of your family.” Derek looked down to his feet, they were a lot larger than the last time he had seen them.  

“You’re still going to be a part of our family, nothing’s going to change.” (Y/N) placed a hand on his shoulder. “You’re always welcomed with us, you know this. We’re not going to kick you to the curb, not this easy.” (Y/N) hugged Derek once more, his tall frame was something she was already used to but he was a lot more buff than usual now. “God, I really thought you were gone.” (Y/N) whispered not letting go of Derek. He smiled and hugged her back, he still felt like his younger self, hell in his mind he was still his younger self. Lilly whimpered and it caught both Derek’s and (y/n)’s attention.  

“Can I?” Derek looked at (y/n) and she nodded before Derek went to get Lilly from Melissa’s arms. (Y/N) moved towards Liam pulling him into a hug. She wiped the tears he didn’t realize he had been spilling.  

“Hey, you okay?” She looked at him and he shook his head before shoving it in between her neck and shoulder. She ran her fingers through his hair and he sighed. She looked at Scott as he continued to look at Derek who was now rocking Lilly in his arms. “Let’s get you guys home, you all need to wash off.” (Y/N) looked at Scott who nodded. “Thank you, Deaton, for everything.” He gave her a smile and although he was still having a hard time comprehending what was going on, he decided to let it go. On the drive home Derek looked out the window, wondering what he was going to do, where he was going to go from here, he couldn’t stay with Scott and (y/n), not after returning to his real form. Once they arrived to Melissa’s home Liam was quick to rush to the bathroom, he needed to get the blood off, and he needed to do it now.  

“Where are you going?” Scott spoke catching (Y/N)’s attention, she had been feeding Lilly on the couch. Derek looked back taking his hand off the door.  

“Oh, I uh, I can find a place to stay.” Derek pointed his thumb to the door and Scott shook his head.  

“Come on man, don’t make this awkward. Go get washed up.” Scott crossed his arms over his chest and Derek sighed walking up the stairs.  

“That was awkward.” (Y/N) spoke causing Scott to chuckle, it was awkward. Derek was a full-grown man but his mindset was still as a teenager which threw everything off. Scott sighed before kissing (Y/N) on the cheek and going into the restroom to shower the blood away.

_____

tags; @leslieandjensen @hirafth @neptuneluek @lydiasbxtch @adellyhatter-blog @nxthing-lasts-fxrever@letmebecomeataboo @cloudchaserr @nerdyowlbookfreak @xcastawayherosx @k-baileyy@scotttstilinskii @therealmrshale @thesuperkpopfan @queen–glitch @my-body-is-not-a-temple@mutifandomgirl @moo0803 @hautedbybieber @thejulietfarciertlove @lovelyallen @thejulietfarciertlove

[kaleid-tay-scope]

Don't Forget That This Is For WORK.

These photos may APPEAR to be casual but they are not. These clips are Taylor's choice of promotion for her "reputation" tour. Just FYI.

I'm not saying that you shouldn't enjoy these things but please don't be fooled.

The Blue Bird performance is for a documentary and we knew about it. It wasn't a surprise. (Even though it seemed "intimate" and for "happy" purposes.)

The 2nd "Delicate" music video was to promote Spotify becoming a publicly traded company & likely to cover-up any damages the first video did with the negative pr. (Even though it seemed like an "intimate" gift for fans)

The rehearsal clip was to announce and promote the 2nd "Delicate" music video and for advertising her merch. (Even though it seemed like an "intimate" and "casual" check-in)

The ONLY thing potentially not planned for pr was Taylor's reply to the Hayley Kiyoko anon; however, it is likely that it was brought to her attention from Tree Paine, her public relations specialist, and not Taylor just scrolling through Tumblr. I am not positive of course but I just don't feel like TS is on Tumblr when her tour starts in less than 50 days.

Also! I want to really emphasize that this post isn't trying to "expose" Tay. I am a fan lol 😂 so I'm not really sure why I'd bother posting this otherwise. Anyways. What I'm trying to do with this post is just give people a little insight into what's happening with this era. I feel like Taylor is going out of her way to emphasize these things so that people stop feeling disappointed and abandoned this era and a light bulb lights up the reality of being a fan in 2018.

She's sharing what she has done over and over again for EVERY era:

New style

New relationship

New mode of fan interaction

And she's going about this enlightenment in a way where her fans can put it all together and understand. I really don't feel like we will get any eras similar to the past ones (especially "1989") where Taylor hasn't set up healthy boundaries between her and her fans. She's learned that she needs to for MANY reasons, including her safety and mental health. When you're as big as a star as she is, you can't be actual bffs with your fans. It would be impossible and unfair.

Let me repeat: Taylor Swift cannot be actual friends with her fans for safety and mental health reasons. If you do NOT have her cell phone number you are not her friend.

That is something a lot of people need to deal with this era because she deceived a lot of people mostly UNINTENTIONALLY.... And she needs to make up for it and let people know so they don't have a mental break with the realization that when Taylor decides to go private in her NYC home, she's not opening the door again to mislead her young and adoring but naive fans.

Please, PLEASE, please read this with love because I wrote it with tenderness and understanding and WITHOUT JUDGEMENT. I do NOT judge anybody who has been invited to her home and now feels extra close to Ms Swift. I just don't want to see those fans shattered when the doors close and Taylor isn't "around."

When she's only doing "intimate" performances for a documentary and she's only doing "casual insta stories" to let you know she's about to drop something.... And when she only likes your posts on the days where promotion happens (music videos, awards, tour announcements).... it's because it's work. It's only work.

Yes! She does care about her fans. 100% But when she's only interested in her fans to help sell her tickets, album, promote stuff..... You need to think about what it means and maybe YOU need to set boundaries for yourself. Because YOU are just as important as her and YOUR heart matters.

Until Tay has her own label or decides to write for others.... We won't really be seeing her truth. The only thing we even have a little bit of, regarding Taylor's personal life, is her songs. That's all. Everything else public is a staged advertisement. Unfortunately.

I try to compare famous people with other people in one's life. For example: your banker. You may interact with them on a semi regular basis and your banker may smile and show you pictures of their doggo but you do NOT know who your banker as a person is. And you wouldn't expect to. Taylor Swift is a famous singer songwriter but she's also like your banker. She smiles for you in public and is kind but you don't actually know her as a person.

[ittybittypbandj]

The Internship - Chapter 2

A multi-chapter Bittyparse fic with fluff and angst! Woot! 5 chapters, weekly updates. Also on ao3. <3

Summary:

Eric Bittle arrived in New York two weeks ago, newly single and ready for a fresh start. This internship was just what he needed to jumpstart his life.

Kent Parson loved his life in New York. He was at the peak of his NHL career. He had friends, the world’s greatest cat, and everything he thought he needed.

He never expected a small Southern blonde to burst into his life and turn everything on its head.

“Lordy, Bun, he winked. Winked! What on earth was I thinking, stayin’ late like I could just make myself at home?”

Señor Bun listened patiently, all floppy ears and non-judgmental beaded eyes. Bitty turned away from the desk, where he’d just finished organizing video clips on his laptop for work the next day, and pulled back the covers to climb into bed. He settled Señor Bun into the crook of his arm and tugged the quilt up around his chin.

“You’re the best listener, Bun.” Bitty nuzzled the worn rabbit and closed his eyes. He hadn’t talked to Señor Bun when he lived with Jack – it seemed too juvenile for his serious-NHL-star boyfriend’s bedroom – but he always felt better after spilling his feelings to his rabbit, and today’s events definitely needed Señor Bun’s comforting touch.

The thing was, Bitty had liked Kent’s wink. Really, really liked it. He’d enjoyed the whole day, in fact. Kent was surprisingly warm and welcoming. He’d been a great host, offering them drinks, chatting with the crew, picking up lunch from the Cantonese restaurant on 10th Ave.

He was also easy to look at, and Bitty wasn’t blind – built like a daydream with his blonde waves and solid muscles. He was only a few inches taller than Bitty, but Bitty would bet he had thirty pounds on him, all pecs and abs and quads, mercy.

But he shouldn’t be thinking about all that. It was too soon after his and Jack’s breakup to be thinking about someone else, and Kent Parson of all people. What on god’s green earth was he doing?

He opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling in the dark. Sometime last month, he’d stopped counting the number of days since the breakup. One day it just didn’t make sense anymore. It was like he’d looked down at himself and found a millstone in his hands he never realized he’d been carrying, and once he realized its weight, he could finally drop it.

He still had sad days, and little things sometimes knocked him off-balance like a gust of wind. Jack had been his first boyfriend, first real love. Bitty missed a lot of things about their old life. He’d hear a person speaking Quebecois on the subway, or see ducks in a neighborhood park, or smell maple syrup as he walked past a café, and memories would wash over him.

Bitty hugged Señor Bun tighter and sighed, feeling guilty for the little part of him that desired Kent Parson and his muscles. It was disloyal. Kent was the Bad Guy. Wasn’t he?

“We’ll get through this, Bun, just you wait and see. We’ll be courteous and professional. It’s a business relationship, that’s all.”

As reassurances went, it felt a little hollow, but Señor Bun didn’t comment and Bitty let the conversation drop. He closed his eyes, burrowed a little lower under the covers, and focused on his breath until he drifted off to sleep.

_/_/_/ \_\_\_

Kent: [image07194421.jpg]

Jack: Is Kit wearing a Rangers jersey?

Kent: dude

Kent: read better

Kent: it says Purrson 90 on the back

Jack: Hah, you got her a personalized cat jersey. You’re ridiculous.

Kent: you’re just jelly cuz she could own ur ass at hockey

Kent: her FO% is .52

Jack: I repeat, you’re ridiculous. How’s your day?

Kent: her slapshot tops 90mph

Jack: Did you run today?

Kent: yeah but it was muggy as balls

Kent: u?

Jack: 6 miles, 39:50, light hills

Kent: slacker

Jack: What was your time?

Kent: a gentleman wouldn’t ask

Jack: C’mon, Kenny…

Jack: Please?

Kent: haha

Kent: oh man I forgot I ordered delivery. gotta go, food’s here [sushi emoji] [grinning cat emoji]

Jack: OK weirdo.

Kent dug the heels of his hands into his eyes. Ugh, why did all of his texting turn into piles of steaming shit?

He was texting Jack to build their friendship. Back when Kent was seeing his therapist regularly, they’d talked about what Kent would do if Jack started communicating with him again. They’d written down a list of strategies that Kent could use to help rebuild their friendship as adults, without the tangle of hormones, stress, and unresolved mental health issues that led to their first fiery downfall.

This – texting Jack pictures of Kit – was part of Kent’s Being-Friends-With-Zimms List. So far Jack had initiated most of their text conversations, sending Kent his workout stats and asking him for Netflix recommendations. Kent figured it was his turn, and Kit looked hella cute in her Purrson jersey. He wasn’t about to offer Jack his morning run time; he was always faster than Zimms and it wasn’t polite to brag.

He wanted to eventually get around to asking about Eric, since he was pretty sure adults asked each other if it was OK to be friends with their exes. But, like, one step at a time.

And then Jack had called him Kenny in his text. It was the first time since that party at Samwell years ago. Kent called Jack ‘Zimms’ all the time, and Jack called him ‘Parse’. Those were hockey nicknames, Parse-and-Zimms, Zimms-and-Parse.

Kent’s stomach felt twisted in knots. ‘Kenny’ wasn’t a hockey nickname. It was intimate, and a decade ago it would have been followed by desperate, whispered Quebecois. Kent had convinced himself ages ago that Jack didn’t think of him as ‘Kenny’ anymore.

So, Kent totally freaked and aborted the conversation with made-up sushi. Fuck his life.

He sighed and flipped his phone over. This friendship plan was therapist-approved, damn it. He wouldn’t waste his best chance at being friends with Jack on one stupid texting freakout.

Kent: sorry Zimms, the delivery guy was downstairs

Jack: It’s no problem.

Kent: so, tell me about ur run. get passed by any little old ladies?

_/_/_/ \_\_\_

Bitty and Kent emailed frequently in the two weeks leading up to launch. There were a surprising number of details to iron out. They exchanged photos. Bitty sent a list of proposed posts for Kit’s Instagram and Twitter. Kent replied with changes (Kit always wrote in first person, #NYClife was better curated than #NYC, etc.). Bitty appreciated Kent’s thoughtfulness.

He didn’t appreciate sorting through a deluge of emails from Kent, though, and he wished they could do some things over text. Kent had a habit of sending an email half-written, then replying four or five times with additions and random thoughts. Was it weird to give a professional contact his personal number? It wasn’t, right? He had Meesha’s number. But with all the weird history between him and Kent, what if it was a bad idea?

The night before launch, after sifting through another forty emails from Kent, Bitty finally bit the bullet and emailed Kent his cell number.

Tomorrow’s the big day!!!, he wrote. The advertising placements go live at 3am, social media at 9am. We’ll monitor the comments and retweets from the office. You and Kit are going to do great.

Here’s my cell if you need anything. Shoot me a text if you want help replying to Kit’s comments, or if you need me to use the admin functions to block a troll (not that Kit will have any trolls, she’s the sweetest li’l thing and the internet loves her).

Talk to you tomorrow!

Eric

An hour later, Bitty’s phone dinged with an incoming message.

[Unknown Sender]: hey this is Kent

[Unknown Sender]: texting so you have my number for tomorrow

Bitty: Hi Kent! How y’all doing tonight?

Kent: good, watching minority report and drinking wine. Kit’s practicing her autograph

Bitty: She’s such a sweetie [grinning emoji]

Kent: u?

Bitty: I’m waiting for a batch of mini-pies to finish baking, then I’m off to bed. You & Kit should get some sleep too, big day tomorrow

Kent: pie??? [pie emoji] [heart-eyes cat emoji]

Bitty: I’m a bit of a baker. It helps when I’m nervous [blushing emoji]

Bitty: Someday I’ll bring you some, how’s that sound? My blueberry cream cheese pie was first runner-up at the Georgia state fair

Kent: you are my hero

Bitty: Lol talk to you tomorrow Kent

Kent: night Eric

_/_/_/ \_\_\_

“Can I get something started for you, sir?”

Kent stepped forward and smiled at the barista. He ordered a latte and a morning bun. She rang him up and efficiently prepared his order, handing him a to-go mug and a pastry the size of Kit’s head. He squeezed into a booth with rustic benches and a bud vase of daisies, and waited for Eric.

This was Kent and Eric’s first Post-Launch Monthly Touchbase, or whatever businessy name Eric had called it in his email.

The day was gorgeous – cool and dry, which was unheard of in New York in August – and Kent didn’t want to waste it by meeting in an office. He’d asked if they could meet somewhere else, and Eric had recommended this sunny café near Washington Square Park. It was eclectic and cute, and Kent was going to chirp Eric to hell and back over the hipster croissant/bagel hybrid – cragels? bagants? – the café was supposedly famous for.

After ten minutes, Kent spotted Eric through the window approaching the café, tugging earbuds out of his ears and looping them around his thin fingers. He wore a pale yellow sweater over a light blue button-down and navy khakis that hugged his thighs, and Kent silently, sternly reminded his dick that this was a business meeting.

Eric ordered and made his way to the table. He set down a small pastry between them and looked at Kent with his warm, inviting brown eyes.

“Have you tried the cragels? They’re just lovely. I got us one to share, they always sell out.”

Kent groaned.

The business part of the meeting was efficient and smooth, like all of his and Eric’s interactions so far. In the two weeks since launch, they’d texted regularly and kept up with the marketing plan, so really all they needed to do was confirm the advertising placements for September.

Kent enjoyed working with Eric. He was capable and self-assured. Although Kent was starting to discover he was something of procrastinator, if the number of emails Eric sent after midnight was any indication.

Bitty tapped lightly on his phone screen. “Let’s see now, you’re in training camp starting September third…any dates we need to work around before then?”

Kent tore off a strip of morning bun. “Well, we’re already back to training every day, with morning workouts and ice time most afternoons. I don’t think there’s any conflicts though,” he took a large bite and paused as he chewed, “I’ll text you if something comes up.”

Bitty looked up and his lips quirked into a smile. “Lord, I forgot y’all’d be in daily practices already. I can’t believe how quickly I’ve forgotten the hockey schedule. This meeting wasn’t at a bad time, was it?”

Was Eric making a reference to Jack’s schedule or his own college days? Kent wasn’t sure, so he politely ignored it.

“Nah, you’re golden. I started early and did upper body work before coming here.”

“Bulking up for the season?”

“You hadn’t noticed?” Kent asked, fake-sweetly. He flexed comically and Eric laughed.

“Well you keep workin’ on that morning bun, hon. I’m sure that helps.”

Kent gawped. Eric was chirping him. He grinned. It was on.

They joked and talked as customers filed in and out around them. Kent’s cheeks hurt from smiling. Eric’s short hair had gone a little fluffy where he kept unconsciously running his fingers through it. Kent had an irrational desire to grab Eric’s wrist and gently kiss each of his fingertips. He squashed the impulse and rearranged their empty plates in the center of the table.

Somehow the conversation turned to Vegas. It was less weird than Kent expected, although he knew they were both dancing around some of the particulars.

“Why did you move to New York? The Aces wouldn’t have traded you, right? Not right after the Stanley Cup win. I expected them to give you the C or something.”

Kent nodded. “They wanted to. They were ready to re-up my contract, add a no-move clause, the whole nine yards. I just, I never really settled in Vegas, I guess. I’d made a few friends, some guys on the team I’m still close with, but it was hard being all the way across the country. When the Rangers put out feelers – Smith was retiring as Captain, they were looking for something long-term…” He shrugged. “I was interested.”

Eric made a supportive noise. “I reckon it’s nice being closer to family. I know I’d love to have my mama closer than a plane ride away.”

Kent shrugged again. “I’m not really close with my mom and stepdad. It’s cool to be near my sister, though.” He couldn’t hide a grin as he bragged a little. “She’s a senior at NYU, majoring in Biomolecular Science. A total whiz kid. I have no idea where she gets it.”

Eric smiled at him and something warm fluttered in Kent’s belly.

“What about you? How are you liking New York?”

Eric tensed subtly, a tightness in his shoulders and jaw, before he relaxed and leaned forward.

“It’s great. I mean, it’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, y’know? I always wanted to see the world outside Georgia, and this is my chance.” His smile faltered and he picked at the napkin in front of him. He appeared to be thinking.

“I never really thought New York was where I’d end up, but it’s been a good change. When–”

Eric stopped. Kent held his breath as Eric exhaled and squared his shoulders.

“When Jack and I broke up, I was worried I wasn’t gonna find anything up north and I’d have to move home with my parents. I felt like such a failure. When Shitty – he’s a friend of mine from college – when Shitty helped me land this internship, I was nervous as all get out. New York City, lord. But if this was my chance to stay and make something of myself, I wasn’t going to waste it.”

Kent nodded and watched Eric’s face. This was the most personal conversation he and Eric had ever had – shit, it was the first time either of them had mentioned Jack – and he watched Eric’s eyes for any sign of regret.

Eric glanced up and caught Kent’s eyes, then returned his gaze to his napkin and huffed a little laugh.

“Listen to me, ramblin’ on. You’ve probably got all sorts of important things to do today and here I am, monopolizing your time with my life story.”

Kent wanted so badly to reach out and press his fingers against Eric’s face, smooth the frown from his cheekbones. He squeezed his fingernails into his palms under the table.

“I like your life story,” he offered.

Eric looked up, questioning.

Kent smiled in a way he was sure looked dopey, but whatever. “I mean, I like talking to you. Although your choice in cafes is abhorrent. I’m totally choosing the next location. Us New Yorkers gotta educate you newbies.”

His chirp had exactly the desired effect. Eric’s eyes lit up and he straightened in mock indignation.

“Abhorrent? Mister Parson, this café is adorable. Where would you have us meet, a hot dog cart?”

“Somewhere that respects the sanctity of the bagel, for starters.”

Eric laughed, full and rich. He shook his head as he began to bus their dishes. “Well, you just let me know what New York institution you think I need to try first, and we can meet there for next month’s meeting.”

Kent smiled and grabbed their things. He wants to do this again, his sentimental brain thought stupidly.

When they got outside, Eric turned to walk toward the subway at the same time as Kent started walking the other way. They both stopped and turned quickly to face each other, and Eric nearly collided with Kent’s chest. Kent grabbed Eric’s upper arm instinctively, steadying him as he laughed.

Eric’s cheeks flushed at the contact, and at that moment Kent wanted Eric so, so badly. Eric was handsome and bright. He lit up Kent's day like a ray of sunshine through clouds.

And okay, Kent realized that was a corny metaphor. And the whole 'cloudy day' thing wasn't totally accurate – Kent loved his life in New York. He was at the peak of his NHL career, leading the league in assists and taking his team to the playoffs for three consecutive years. He liked the guys he played with, he’d made friends, and he kept in touch with Troy and Scraps.

Hell, he’d even dated a little, something he couldn’t have imagined as a rookie in Vegas. Neither of his recent ex-boyfriends had been endgame material, but he was proud of himself for the serious therapy that finally helped him feel stable enough for a relationship.

In short, he hadn’t expected a small Southern blonde to burst into his life and turn everything on its head. But right now, he felt like there was an Eric-sized hole in his world, and here was Eric, right in front of him.

Eric’s laugh faded and he looked up at Kent with wide, vulnerable eyes. Kent stared at his eyelashes, flitting open and closed as he blinked.

Oh god, Kent suddenly realized he’d been staring for way too long. Had Eric noticed? He dropped the hand on Eric’s arm.

“I, um–” he started, stopped.

Eric jumped in, “I, uh, I’ll email you about the advertising placements.”

“Yeah, the advertising placements,” Kent echoed.

They watched each other in silence. Eric licked his lips, and Kent’s mouth went dry.

“I have to get to the office,” Eric said finally. He waved a hand in the general direction of midtown, but kept his eyes glued to Kent's.

Kent nodded. “I should get home, feed Kit before she gets hungry and starts hunting the neighbors.”

Eric laughed, and just like that the moment passed.

“Take care now, Kent. I’ll be talkin’ to you soon.”

Kent returned the smile. “You too, Eric.”

He watched as Eric walked away. He lifted his left hand and lightly traced his lips with his fingers. If he concentrated, he could almost imagine the feeling was Eric's lips brushing his.

Fucking hell, he was such a sap. He shoved his hands in his pockets and, when Eric’s blonde head finally disappeared down the subway stairs, he turned and walked toward home.

[creideamhgradochas]

Thanks to the lovely @youngmoneymilla for taking the time to answer these! Get to know more about lovely Eliza, go give her a follow and then show her some love!

These questions are from this list. You should check it out, there’s 50 questions all together and they’d be great to ask your favorite fic writer!

1) How old were you when you first starting writing fan-fiction?

13

2) Do you prefer writing OC’s or reader inserts? Explain your answer.

I did love writing OC’s because I have a lot of fun with physical description. However, that was when I wasn’t aware of Reader Inserts since I just recently came back into the fanfic world. Reader Inserts are great because I have to work that much harder on giving them a backstory/personality and not focus at all on physical description. Plus, everyone gets to read the work and hopefully find themselves in it. The only thing I hate is being unable to use a name. I can’t write “Y/N” bc it bugs me haha.

3) What is your favorite genre to write for?

Ummm Angst probably? I’m a huge horror fan so, I’m trying to incorporate that into more work.

4) If you had to delete one of your stories and never speak of it again, which would it be and why?

“It Would Have Made it True” just because I didn’t really connect with it that much and the ending was rushed.

5) When is your preferred time to write? 

11 am to 10 pm haha. I’m an asshole and write a lot during my job.

6) Where do you take your inspiration from? 

I have about a million fics bookmarked from over the years, literally fics from when I was in high school to now. They’re so gorgeously written and they inspire me to write. I pretty much only read non-fiction outside of fanfic so, that doesn’t really work.

7) What’s your favorite scene that you’ve written?

Bathtub/Bedroom scene in the second part of “Bungalows and Baths”

8) Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it?

Yep. In one fic, I included a descriptive characteristic for the reader that implied she was white. It hadn’t even occurred to me but, I immediately fixed it when someone pointed it out.

9) Who is your favorite character to write for? Why? 

Tossup between Bucky and Steve. Bucky has the very obvious trauma and grief that’s interesting to write about but, Steve has a lot of buried darkness that’s subtle and extremely intriguing.

10) Who is your least favorite character to write for? Why?

Maybe Bruce? I don’t care that much for his character (despite the fact I love Hulk)

11) How do you come up with the titles for your stories? 

A lot of the time, it’s a line that’s said throughout the narrative. However, I have a word doc filled with random quotes I like and I usually throw something together. I always think up the title at the end and it’s always an afterthought. Titles blow.

12) What do you think is the best idea you’ve had for a story so far?

I am currently writing a Bucky x Reader fic (TRYING TO AT LEAST) that is going to take the team to New Orleans. It’s going to involve vampires since I wrote a novella about vampires back in high school and want to re-explore that mythology. However, there is going to be a lot of twists and it won’t be an AU, it’s just introducing the possibility of vampires in the MC universe. The reader and Bucky will both be struggling with the idea of themselves as monsters and trying to help themselves through that. It’s going to be a lot of voodoo and magic and angsty “will they, won’t they”. I’m going off on a tangent now but, that’s the gist. I have not written an actual series in a long time so, this would be my first one.

13) Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?

There are many half-filled one- page word docs on my desktop that are rotting away as we speak. I just get bored or think of something else.

14) Are there any stories that you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to?

I’d love to do more fics with the same reader from Bungalows and Baths.

15) Are there any stories that you wished you’d ended differently?

Lol I’m actually annoyed with how I ended 6 Times right now. Not sure why.

16) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire?

Omg I admire so many but, here are a few.

@bitsandbobsandstuff – obviously for her “Safe with Me” piece which is fantastic, emotional and well-paced. Pacing/keeping the reader on their toes is the hardest thing for me in a series and so, I really admire her ability to do that. I also LOVED her “A Million Invisible Threads” piece because it’s such a gorgeous character study on the Winter Soldier

@a-splash-of-stucky  – She’s the Queen of Angst duh and a GORGEOUS writer. I love her stuff. A Messed Up Place left me weak.

@imhereforbvcky – Her “Mirror for the Sun” fic inspired me to start writing from Bucky’s POV actually. She’s just a beautiful writer.

@tilltheendwilliwrite – I love everything she writes. I love all the mythology she brings to her fics while still staying within the Avengers universe. Her smut is on another level, too. I find myself rereading her stuff again and again.

17) Do you have a story that you look back on and cringe when you reread it?

Here and there. There are definitely moments in a fic where I think why did I keep that. It’s usually because I ended it too quickly or just wanted it over.

18) Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence? 

I love music when I write fics. It’s all movie scores. I have a spotify playlist for it.

19) Have you ever cried whilst writing a story?

I’ve cried (ish) when writing anything that has to do with alcohol/substance abuse. I’ve been in and out of AA for the past two years and have finally started recovery again. I also have depression so, writing about that can leave me raw. Writing truly always helps though.

20) Which part of your fics have been the hardest to write?

SMUT. Jesus Christ. I struggle so hard with making smut sound hot, as well as lyrical so, it can fit with the narrative. I don’t want to reuse anything I’ve used in other fics before or repeat words but, it’s SO hard (pardon the pun). I always forget what position they’re in and where the body parts need to go. It’s legitimately why I have yet to write a Stucky x Reader fic. I can’t introduce another person into my difficult SMUT journey.

21) Do you make a general outline for your stories or do you just go with the flow? 

I usually have a general idea and I’ll have a very vague outline going. I just write everything out like word vomit and go back and edit.

22) What is something you wished you’d known before you started posting fan-fiction? 

That some of the best stories I’ve read aren’t necessarily the ones with the most likes or comments. I stumble upon stuff and wonder “HOW DOES THIS NOT HAVE 2K LIKES”.

23) Do you have a story that you feel doesn’t get as much love as you’d like?

That’s tough. Maybe the stuff I wrote in the beginning where I didn’t have many followers. I loved the concept of “You Don’t Mean for it to Happen” but, sometimes I want to rewrite the whole thing. I put a lot of myself into “I Think of You All the Time” but, I feel like that got some good traction. IDK.  Bungalows and Baths got a crazy amount of love. Did not expect that but, v grateful.

24) In contrast to 23 is there a story which gets lots of love which you kinda eye roll at? 

Nope. I appreciate any love haha.

25) Are any of your characters based on real people?

Well, I think it goes without saying that every reader character has a little bit of the author in there. I think I pull from some of my friends but, not really.

26) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten? 

Someone once said that their soul was marked by “Bungalows and Baths” which was amazing haha.

27) What’s the harshest criticism you’ve gotten?

I haven’t really gotten criticism other than that time I screwed up on including a feature for a white reader. I felt terrible about that.

28) Do you share your story ideas with anyone else or do you keep them close to your chest?

Not really. I don’t have people to share them with haha.

29) Do people know you write fan-fiction?

My best friend knows but, she doesn’t read fanfic. Shockingly, my mom and sister know but, I told them that they could never read them. I just share reviews with them. My mom likes to know that I’m staying creative.

30) What’s you favorite minor character you’ve written? 

Oh jeez idk if I have one. Natasha isn’t considered a minor character but, she usually plays a side character in my stories and she’s fun to write for.

31) What spurs you on during the writing process?

Once I get started, I’m usually good at keeping it going. Music helps.

32) What’s your favorite trope to write?

Probably slow burn romance or one of the lovers is injured/captured. I also am a huge sucker for love triangles because I’m greedy AF.

33) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about?

Lawl this might not have been the first one but, I read a Lizzie Mcguire SMUT piece when I was maybe in 6th grade and was severely chilled to the bone. I was trash even at 12.

34) If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

Angst. I always write better when I’m emotionally distraught and tortured. Although as I get older, I realize this isn’t fabulous for my own mental health.

[decoding1432]

Parents & Friends

Some stans have picked sides due to the parent’s behaviour on SM. Just the way some reflect all the hate collected from other stans onto the girls, it’s the same deal when it comes to their parents. Due to the fact that certain people can’t stand them, they decide to whether unstan or throw shit at the girls for it.

If you don’t think all these subtle shade going on is done with a purpose, try to give it a second thought.

The thing with this whole “shading” is that we've got two viewpoints:

From Camila’s side we saw how her parents stopped acknowledging the group & this happened since the fighting days. Now, let's put ourselves in the Cabellos’ shoes for a moment:

Imagine one day your daughter & her bandmates are played such a dirty trick & they cut communication. (Yes, I still believe this is how all went down). Anyway back to our scenario, now thanks to this they are not on speaking terms anymore. Your daughter releases her first solo project. It's important for her. However the people pulling the group strings are setting her in a very dark position. They are painting her in a very negative light in front of her fans.

Around those days, you log into your Twitter account several times & you see one fan turns against her. But as time passes by that one “fan” multiplicates & turns into 10 more haters. Then 50, then 100 & so it goes on & on. The situation worsens. Now, your daughter starts receiving hateful tweets 24/7. Your daughter starts getting sick. Her mental health state is seriously compromised but the people behind her career are doing nothing to help the situation, in fact they are making it more toxic for her. The issue with her bandmates is still not solved. The haters seem unstoppable at this point… Your daughter is mentally exhausted to a point where she describes her anxieties having anxieties.

That continues for a year. Along the way your daughter & her bandmates rekindled their bond. But it’s not all bright again since they must not give that away on camera. Another thing to add is that her bandmates are told not to defend her on SM to make the haters cease. Tell me are you happy with the brand & the poisonous environment they created around your daughter? The answer is obvious.

Let’s take a look at 5H’s angle. The way I see it, you’re a 40-50 year old & you spend your days bashing a 20 year old through Twitter... immaturity at its finest, right?

The tricky aspect here is that the parents’ wishes contradict their actions.

E.g.  The parents want hatred to stop. Some like Mama Dre have expressed it & also it’s not even necessary to have this captured on a tweet to understand. Anyhow, they want the hate to cease but they encourage haters with their comments? Logic 2+2= potato

Now, personally the moment Mike started being shady that seemed fishy af to me. We’re talking about the same person that liked C’s departure letter (apparently he unliked it a little after, not really sure). Anyway, even if he didn’t, he was always all about the five girls & one of the non-problematic ones before the mess started unraveling. It makes sense that they started using him, not only to cut all ties with Camren but to influence the stans more strongly as well.

I asked lawyerlarry if this has happened with their boys, using their relatives to mold or push the narrative. This was her answer:

Since we don’t know what type of contract the girls are under we can’t know for sure if the parents are completely obligated. However one thing is for sure, clearly as a parent you’re going to want the best for your kid.

I’m bringing back some points I’ve written about this same subject in a past masterpost…

TV anon: “The thing about the parents is that THEY ARE PARENTS so they are gonna be protective and going to support their child 100%. Now, the moment the girls became legal, the parents are off negotiations or meetings so the only thing they know is what their daughters told them (and we don’t know how restrictive the contract is or even if the girls go and spill full deets to their parents) and you are right, their behavior is very contradictory, even from parents of the same child. Example, Lauren’s parents. Her dad it’s super supportive of the 5 of them and her mom is really over the top, to be honest lol. I have seen them throwing shade and then talking about supporting the 5 of them so maybe the shade is for the label. Or at some point it was for Camila but then they got informed and realized the situation, who knows. Let’s not forget, they don’t belong to the industry so they don’t know how to handle situations like these. Such as their children, they are too emotional. The parents and friends subject is tricky, cause who knows how much they know/or don’t know.”

Every single time I get worried I might be overthinking I return to the question told above: If they know they are only worsening their situation & attracting more toxicity toward their daughters why would they continue with this childish behaviour? Also the girls are not stupid, cause even if these were truly their parents’ actions don’t doubt they wouldn’t stop them.

Once more, this applies to their parents. When it comes to other relatives like Leilani, we're completely unaware of how close she's or not with Dinah, let alone the rest of the girls. She could be throwing shade in order to help them or simply she’s an attention seeker. For all we know a) she could have been told an alternate story along the way b) she is acquainted with only a very small part of the truth c) nothing at all & she knows just as much as we do.

When it comes to friends, let alone not their closest friends, we can coincide that they surely don’t know the story from head to toe but since they’re familiar with the girls at a certain extent they claim to for the sake of rts & attention. Dealing with the parents topic is ambiguous. “I think the parents ought to know everything, don’t fool yourself, why would the girls keep things from them?” Believe it or not, there’s always possibility. Here I consider a list of reasons why it COULD be true:

TV anon couldn’t have said it better…

When the girls became legal, procedures & regulations on the entertainment business gave a 180 degrees turn.

Non-disclosure agreements are a common thing in the industry.

Thus far none of the girls has shaded each other. Although, other people have accomplished a fraction of this “dirty work” for them. Such as friends, crew team members, & their parents. What I’ve caught on this culmination of “bitterness” is that it’s quite contradictory. To elaborate: Lucy shaded Camila around two or three weeks later by liking one IG post that was referring to C as “Canola”. What I found funny is how less than a month before, Lucy literally appeared on Dinah’s livestream hanging with her & Camila at their bus.

When I wrote that, the BB 5H issue hadn’t come out yet. Also these past few days, Lucy has publicly shown her support for Camila on SM. Also let’s add, she isn’t the only connection from Lauren that’s been doing this lately...

Now, some of LAND’s friends have publicly supported C. To me, it hints at the bigger picture that the ladies are in good terms. Some of you might disagree, maybe you consider they’re not friends any longer. Fine that’s your POV, but I don’t share that perspective. Not because I refuse to let go OT5 or anything remotely similar, but like I’ve said numerous times before, the fact that the girls knew about C leaving since 2015 & all the moments we had along 2016 I consider it a sign that they were able to somewhat fix whatever issues they had a year before.

Even if you agree or not with me on their current friendship status, you can’t deny the following: LAND doesn’t speak badly about Camila bts unlike what media wants to make us believe.

(Fun fact: Josh liked the following two days after the split announcement)

Enough with Josh (he stans Camila hard lol) Let’s check the rest of their friends...

I would insert here the videos of Simone & Sydney jamming to CITC, unfortunately I couldn’t download them but that doesn’t me we must not take them into account as well.

Next one might not be recent but reminder that Normani wrote as part of those thoughts: “I have love and respect for all four of my bandmates whether you choose to believe it or not” “I have to address foolishness manufactured by those that have absolutely no idea what goes on” “For those who enjoy speculating and creating drama that doesn’t exist, please keep in mind that myself and the other girls in the group are PEOPLE” etc...

Out of all their friends or people they’ve worked with, in my opinion, when Angie (their temporary guitarist after Ashlee left) commented on C’s IG post is the one proof that I would take over any of the above to pinpoint that THIS...

...doesn’t reflect any of THIS...

In conclusion, I believe that the relatives & some friends are attempting to help the girls as much as they can. I repeat, it’s uncertain how much the girls are allowed to tell them. But some things are undeniably true... They (parents & friends) know how fucked up this business is, they have seen how much the 5 ladies have struggled in these past years. If there’s something they can’t do, is stop this madness. They can’t break the system, they can’t protect them from this industry. But they can try to fulfill part of the “dirty work”, otherwise I’m sure it would have to come directly from the girls. Don’t judge them, they are willing to do anything if it means taking some of the burden off of the girls’ shoulders. How do I know this latter? Cause I might only be a fan but I would do it too.

Question: if you had a friend or a relative in they industry, would you doubt putting yourself in the spotlight for a second in order to give them a hand?

P.S. Alejandro liked Clara’s “shady” tweet that was supposedly aimed at Camila.

[pokefanbri]

https://www.facebook.com/104057744428568/posts/156998459134496/?sfnsn=mo&d=n&vh=e

Fucking told him its a huge red flag if someone doesn't get rid of their apps. Multiple apps. Smh 😠 "oh yea i don't use them anymore" proceeds to use fb dating app" for real come on bro!

Some comments of the post:

"If you have to be checking up on your Partner then you shouldn't be with that person.. Idk how people have time for all this .. love yourself and know your worth.."

"If you're in a serious committed exclusive relationship you should not be on tinder. That's how I met my fiance and as soon as we said we are gf and bf and exclusive we both deleted it. Honestly if I was her I would have broken up with him too"

"a person also has a right to trust their gut feeling and check things out if something's not feeling right. Knowledge is power"

I've already discussed this but this news clip further validates my point of the topic, nothing more. I could call him out on hs bs further with detail, but I won't....yet, out of respect even though he probably doesn't deserve it. Til he reaches me & apologizes for everything he's done, i can say whatever tf I want & i could make a whole damn list.

Its the events of this what happened that started our downfall to begin with cuz i didn't trust him & he didn't even try to gain it back just left it as is when I could've turned my back right then & there, no apology either. Didnt apologize much actually, not even when i last saw him. But from then we spiraled & he got bored of me. I wasn't giving him what he wanted in whatever way & he wanted to find more. Closed himself off from the beginning & that created his boredom 😒

Would've had a blast together like a normal fucking couple if he was less closed off, & wouldn't have felt the need to do shit behind my back.

I'll stop talking about it for now, I have the anger & urge to keep going but I wont...actually no Screw it im pissed 😡 but ill keep it light. Its just not fair, I did so much for him but I was disrespected in different aspects of the whole relationship. Fuck! I've talked about the positives alot cuz i do love him..but the negatives are such bs too.

I want a good ass sincere apology for all of it so I can forgive him & move on, ive already apologized myself even though I dont think I should have to 😒. Didnt even give me a straight answer for the breakup, it was always a different excuse when I know he just wanted to pursue other women without me around im not fucking stupid. His own toxicity was too much even for himself & I was in the line of fire, to where i was the toxic one? No fuck that its unacceptable, he always lied when it came to covering his own ass.

For all i know he's watching me squirm & taking pleasure in all the pain I'm going through over him cuz he likes the attention. But no I actually don't think so on that one he's still good & ill give him credit where its due. But I gave him all the attention he wanted/needed & still wanted more from someone else. Really dude fucking really!?

Man up & own up to your mistakes, speak to me where I can actually hear ur voice speaking back to me with sincerity. We'll apologize together. Yea ull be pissed about this, but after u get over it & calm down. Give in & call me, granted when ur ready, & open up for once in your damn reserved life. Itll help us both with more closure & may even take a weight off our shoulders if we just talk it out, no arguing...since we're done there's no point anyway..a friendly non judgment zone cuz idc, i won't think of u any less.

U confused me during & especially after the relationship cuz i didnt know who u really were, i know the good cuz that's what u allowed me to see, ive accepted the bad that I knew already & from what ive learned...i accepted u regardless.

I always forgave u & not cuz im passive, cuz forgiveness is what the Bible teaches.. ive forgiven u & myself the best i could especially with the last things ive showed u, (accept this part cuz im pissed rn & standing up for myself, ill delete eventually maybe if u ask cuz nobody wants to be seen any less of a person. but I can make it alot worse, calling me the mistake was the worst thing u ever said to me & pointing out your faults so u can be better throughout the relationship was my only toxicity to u) we actually never really fought except the 1 time, just argued a tiny bit rarely about little things.

Ive tried using every ounce of my courage to show u how much im sorry for any wrong ive done. but its up to u now to make things right. U know me, ive always said that u can talk to me about anything. I want to be able to trust again & move on whilst staying friends. What else do u have to lose, might even have a great heart to heart convo dude to dudet

Everything ive ever said up to this point lies all my Questions. But here's most of the list, we both were equally in control of the relationship. Maybe u didn't want me to? But doing everything I had to for myself & the household, what u & ur parents wanted of me & just me being me cuz i had to, u had your own part to play & did provide...but did u actually not want me to cater to u if it were a sign u were lazy or something? Like did u not feel worthy of me? What is it u think is my "addicting personality" that isn't fixable on the surface? What is it really that u didnt like about me? This is why i don't have closure, u left me like this, confused as well as wanting more since u held back so much. Was that on purpose to give me even more false hope & want me to pine over u? Did u ever or do u still, love me at all? What did u want from me & out of the relationship, what was the purpose of it from ur perspective & why do u think i couldn't give that to u? What did i lack that u felt compelled to not tell me so I could improve & vise versa so we both could improve? Why wouldn't u allow me to help u become a better man when (I shouldnt have to btw), its exactly what u wanted but maybe didnt see it? Do u realize your own faults even as u do them? Lol. Like i genuinely want to know as much as the good ive seen, cuz to be better the more open of a person u are the more u understand yourself too.

Unless claiming u want to be a better man is part of ur alluring charm in love bombing process to land a caring girl on purpose lol...god I hope not, that would just mean u rinse & repeat like a for real narcissist 🤔 seriously tho look into that im not even kidding, im asking cuz i care. Im pissed now but 1 thing is that im trying to not put ur behavior against u cuz maybe u can't help it, its just the way u are, all ive seen & experienced points to maybe 50% of u lol. Ive always suspected narcissism, a real psych problem that might be worth looking into. But yea 1 of the reasons especially why im so forgiving & trying not to put it against u, why i still care despite u being a dick lol. I chose to look past it, all the time & up to now cuz I understand what its like to have psychological ailments. The worst part about it is most dont realize it, so i encourage u to do some research & self reflection & admitting it to urself are the 1st steps. Okay? There's different kinds & levels to being 1 too, i found that fascinating. bryan is definitely a different type, ur more lighter than that...definitely not the worst which is the physical harm type. Trust me its worth finding out more about yourself, just dont use it to ur advantage in a bad way but i trust u to do right & grow. Not sure a discarded supply (ie me) has ever tried telling a narcy what they might be for the benefit of their own self awareness 🤔,idk if its ever been done, but theres a 1st for everything? U can find alot on it in quora digest alone but Google is also ur friend.

You always were worth every effort of mine to help u in any way to be happy, & i was most happy when u were. U mean alot to me still, its the effect u had on me, I was under ur spell lol its hard to rid myself of it still, not sure when it'll pass. I chose to see it as a gift rather than a curse, that ur effect on me is still so strong when I shouldn't give a damn. If u really are a narcy, then I understand & don't put alot against u cuz its just the way u are & i need to accept it, but if it somehow helps u to help yourself cuz of it, then whats the harm? But, even in doing this or having my socials public for u...maybe just feeds into what u want...i still dont care, I want u to see how bad or good im doing without u in my life, so u know im okay at least. U promised friendship, least I can do is allow u to keep tabs on me too we spoke of, on my end of things.

The 18th of June was the last time i saw u. It'll soon be a month ago in about a week & a 1/2 & your birthday would mark 2 months. Cant believe we couldn't even last through to that 😔

Mark my words playa I will be contacting u on that day lol. Can't ghost your homie forever sweetie

[parkmaddy]

Prologue

The idea, or dream, of becoming a mother has been like an oscillating ball that slipped in and out of my grip. I know that one day, instead of my hands grasping the ball that made its way back to me, I’ll have to cling onto it and ride it like a wrecking ball.

It used to terrify me. I told myself I'd never. I’d never be a mom. The decision, once written out, was liberating in a way, but also left a part of me empty, like an apartment cleared out for move-out day. I’ve seen a few of these empty rooms since moving to new york. You look back after a crazy day of moving, into the small space you spent for a year or two, or three. One last look, and then it’s time for a new neighborhood, new space, new lease. Except this time I wasn’t looking into my past. I was peering into a future. motherhood was empty. No prospects. No dreams. Barren with dusty floors before anything had even started.

The fear was driven by one thing that haunted me until i was 19, which trickled into my twenties. The fear that I had no love to give. To anybody. More specifically I feared becoming an angry mom. Because my mom was one. I know how it all works, i thought. Children of abuse become abusive. Children of alcoholics become alcoholics. No matter how much they tell themselves they won't ever end up that way, they do. What am I going to do, when I realize I've lashed out on my own child? How will i live with the fact that I'm just repeating generations of hurt? 

Then, when I was 19 I experienced the love of God. Out of all the things i heard that night in a havoc of tears was that he’d let me be a mom. start a new generation. I didn’t ask for it. It was one of those things that hurt too much to want out loud. But it was given to me, plain and simple. As a promise.

So the seed was planted. I began to hope. Then dream. I used to hate babies. But I began to peep over on subways to...smile at them(?). But it also meant that I had so much to work through. My history with my mom, relationship with my sister, and my dad. I knew i’d crawl back in fear as I tackle these massive issues ahead of me, so i made a blog for myself. It was called “dear mommy maddy.” In the most hopeful, stressful, painful moments of healing i wrote letters to myself so I could read them later on. I also studied beautiful and healthy families I saw around me and asked how they grew up, and learned about everything i didn’t know could be in a family. And i took notes. Although, some days looked like this.

 Other days were better.

I didn’t keep up too much with it though. 

I hit different phases. After the God-encounter I became obsessed with healing. I wanted to iron out the broken me so that i’d be whole and ready. I picked a career that would let me be a mom. I dug deep into my childhood, even worked things out with my mom. She even apologized. And I apologized to her. It was hard and painful but also the most beautiful thing I've done. But then, over a few years a whole lot of shit started happening. There was a lot of trauma that I didn't know how to take in. Digging up childhood stuff was one thing, being traumatized as an adult was something else. I fought hard but I got tired. I stopped fighting. And one summer, I got overwhelmed. I packed a small carry-on bag of summer clothes and hopped on a plane to run away from everything. 

On that plane I watched a movie called Boyhood. It's one of the two films that marked my turning point in my twenties. A documentary film 12 years in the making, I watched a woman pour out her whole life being a mother and a wife of several different men. Then, at some point she has to let go of her son who is dying to get out and go to college. He is her whole life and It breaks her but she finds herself. What she likes. What she's good at. Completes her education and starts to see her impact in people as someone more than a mother. But not one moment of her life is gone to waste because she had to search in all the wrong places to find her way. 

The rest of the plane ride I let go of my dream of becoming a mother. Fuck it. I thought. This is not the dream i will dream. Not right now. I was 23.

I landed in Charles de Gaulle airport alone. I had 2 whole weeks to myself and roamed around for the first time in the city of Paris. And I came back a different person. I forgot about the mom thing. I felt so free, with so much more room to discover myself. Before, I had been caught in a dream I chased, still, out of fear.

And so i explored. I started creative projects. I wrote, I prayed, I drew, I took classes, met people who inspired me, we collaborated, talked, and grew. I propelled with the thought of, why not? And why later? Why not now? And continued to do things I loved. and along the way I found more things I enjoyed. like cooking. And video. I kept journaling too, just not on the mom blog. In the process I connected with more people who drew different things out of me. What I wanted in my career started to get less aimless. I started to sort out the questions of, what for? And for how long? Who do I want to be at my work? And what will it look like in my 40s, 50s?

It's been years since Paris. Last year, I went on another trip to Portugal. Oddly, while roaming around the streets of Lisbon, I had a sudden and random imagination. I imagined that my son or daughter, who was a teenager in my mind, was talking about me to their friend. And they said something like, "can you believe she used to be a dentist?" And poof,  it was gone. I wrote it down. I thought maybe when I do have a teenage son or daughter, I can show them what i scribbled down in Lisbon. 

Lately, very recently, I was at a church service and suddenly remembered this image I wrote down in Lisbon. Then I remembered the blog. Then the promise, from a long time ago. And just how long it's been. After all, I had never completely abandoned the dream. I set it aside for a different time of my life, to come back to it. Like a room to be visited at a different time. that timing seems like now. it seems like a good time to start writing about it, whatever the purpose may be. 

So that's a start. I'll write what happened in the healing. how my mom changed. about important memories. and what happened in the thick of trauma. I’ll pull up old diaries. things from my childhood. how it all ties into how I see myself as a mom one day. 

I don’t know if it’s a bad move posting this here. But I realize if I ever die suddenly, no one will have the password to my private blogs and it’ll just disappear. Lol. thanks for reading. Ily.     

[agentdarcylewis]

FYDL D-A-T Day 1: 62%

Charity Link Genfic, Characters: Darcy Lewis, Tony Stark, (mentioned) Peter Parker Spoilers for Spiderman: Homecoming

“Dad!”

Tony froze, hands clutching one of his gauntlets. The Team was preparing for a move from Stark Tower to the facility, and Pepper had asked (forced) him to take time out of his schedule to pack up some of his more expensive and highly expensive inventions.

But that “Dad”. That was her “Why are all the other kids talking about your latest weekend banger when you were supposed to be in stock meetings?” Dad. Her “I can’t believe you missed my dance recital for a day in Vegas!” Dad. Her “Teenage angst cannot fully cover my anger at you” Dad.

More and more recently, that was her “What the hell was I just watching you do in the suit on TV?” Dad.

“FRIDAY, engage shutdown protocol zero-two-nine-nine.”

“Yeah, FRIDAY, belay that order.” There she was, standing in the doorway, Stark-brown eyes flashing. Her could almost imagine her loose hair waving in some invisible, wrath-powered wind, and for the nth time Tony cursed being surrounded by infinitely hard-headed people.  

“Dad,” Darcy repeated, her voice sickly sweet and her expression a perfect mirror of Pepper’s patented polite, yet disappointed smile, “Why are we moving out of Avengers Tower?”

“Darcy, my darling daughter who owes her life and her inheritance to me, how was your trip to Paraguay?”

“Hot.” DUM-E and You rolled up to say hello, and Darcy petted them absent-mindedly, her eyes still fixed on her father. “Hot, there was no Wi-Fi, and I ran out of music I wasn’t sick of halfway through the month. Also, it was Colombia.”

“And Jane?” Tony tried again, hoping to distract his daughter with one of her favorite topics. He went back to rummaging through the nearest moving crate. He thought better when moving around, and he needed to come up with a plan fast to get out of this one.

“Why are we selling our giant company headquarters-slash-house? MY house?” Darcy asked, quickly crossing the room. She gripped the edge of Tony’s moving container, forcing him to look up and consider her again. She looked a lot tanner after her excursion through the Andes, where she had been researching local, possibly alien legends while Jane studied the sky. Skin was peeling in an arc off her nose. He told her so, and then added, “Also - don’t know if you noticed - but this is MY tower, not yours. The “A” on the side is from where?” He picked up an arc reactor and frowned, placing it on his workbench. There was a whole separate box for those - did DUM-E put that in there?

Darcy rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her souvenir t-shirt, the perfect model of a pissed-off daughter. Put her hair up in pigtails, and she’d look exactly like she did at 6 when her daddy couldn’t drop her off at Stark Industries Daycare because of a last-minute “overnight guest”. “Nice try - like I didn’t know that the minute you retired half of this building would go to me.”

“DUM-E, come over here and put this in the other - no, that box - no other OTHER one, you oversized roomba. And - 62%.”

This threw her off.  “62%?” She went and grabbed the arc reactor from the robot, who had begun expressing his confusion through whirling in place.

“Yeah - 50% of my building, plus Pepper was going to give you her 12%.”

Darcy groaned. “Seriously?” Ha - Tony had her on the ropes now. References to her almost-stepmom’s behavior (which outshone Tony’s in every respect) softened his angry daughter’s heart and reduced the length of arguments 35% of the time. (He’d had JARVIS run the numbers…back when he wasn’t RoboCop.)

“I am the picture - the PINNACLE - of honesty, honey.”

That was the wrong thing to say. “Oh yeah? Like when I had to learn my apartment had gotten auctioned off to the highest bidder through a BUZZFEED article? Eight days after it happened, even? Or we could go back to that time in high school with the pool party -”

“Oh god, I don’t think I could suffer another retelling of the high school pool party.”

Darcy sighed, pausing her stacking of the arc reactors into their specialized containers. “Upstate? Really?”

After years of parenting, Tony was quick to realize when his fights with his daughter had reached the “hug it out” stage, and he easily crossed the room and pulled Darcy in for a hug. She smelled like recycled airplane air, cheap sunscreen, and the coconut shampoo she had been using since she was 12, and for the first time he allowed himself to think about how much he had missed her the past month and a half. She was more than 62% percent of his (now fully organic) heart, and with all the events that had happened recently…he needed his family with him.

“There’s labspace for Jane, and a swimming pool, and at least three hot tubs. Not to mention I got vending machines that stock S’mores AND Hot Fudge Pop-tarts.”

“Ugh…” He could feel Darcy’s face wrinkle against his shirt. “I love S’mores. But I just got my room here set up how I like it.”

“A complete disaster? A shame to the illustrious Stark name?”

Darcy stepped neatly out of his hug and tilted her head towards the piles of boxes currently overtaking the lab.

“Touché, my beautiful and very forgiving crotchfruit.”

There was the eyeroll again. Mushiness successfully averted. “I’m going up to my apartment and making sure the moving guys haven’t messed up my stuff. Maybe get a couple few naps in before I say goodbye to the place forever.” She picked up her backpack - when had that gotten here? - and, with one last pat for DUM-E and You, headed towards the elevator. “Oh, and dad?”

Tony hummed, his mind already back on the mess covering his workspace.

“You should probably give the Spider-Guy his suit back.”

“I - his name is Spider-Man! And with that attitude you’re going to join him in time-out!” Tony shouted as his daughter’s patented Stark smirk disappeared behind the closing steel doors. “FRIDAY, you traitor.”

“I am only following protocol, Mr. Stark.”

A/N: I finally wrote a fanfic again! It’s been so long (years?) since I’ve written something this substantial. I just had a really good idea for this prompt and needed it to be realized, lol. I’ve read so much DL fic that my writing for her is a bundle of popular tropes and references spread across years of fics. One of my faves is TS is DL’s dad, so I hope I did the trope canon justice.

TBH, one of the biggest reasons I don’t write fic is because I’m scared of being OOC. I’ve watched both CACW and SMH in the past like 24 hours so I hope that offsets it. If you have any tips for me and would like to share, I’d love an inbox message!

FYDL Prompt Week is meant to highlight charitable organizations. Here is my link for this fic. It’s a link to a post explaining the humanitarian crisis in Venezuela, and includes links to organizations helping out.

[mapc2498]

Get To Know Me…

i just did this for fun and realize that my life is boring....

1.Who was the last person you held  hands with?

Idk probably my mom or this guy  that I studied with 2-3 years ago, we were joking  2. Are you outgoing or shy?

100% shy  3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

Someone to save me or anyone to  love  4. Are you easy to get along with?

Idk maybe, maybe not.  5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

I don’t like anyone, but if we  think on Shawn probably he will, he is so sweet  6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

Cute, sweet, handsome, white, any  hair of color but red.  7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

nope  8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

Does it count Shawn Mendes  9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

no  10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

My high school friends a long time  ago, I miss them  11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

Idk, but probably something from  college about the integration project that we need to print many times  12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

Good one, idk let me search…..bad  reputation, life is worth at living, Havana, power & understad  13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

Yes, I love it  14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

No, I don’t think so  15. What good thing happened this summer?

Now that I think, nothing I was  really depressed this summer, I hate summer, and I was repeating a subject  that I didn’t pass  16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

No  17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

yes  18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

No lol  19. Do you like bubble baths?

I haven’t had a bath with anything  else but water  20. Do you like your neighbors?

No, I don’t talk to them  21. What are you bad habits?

Eatung to much, not sleeping when I  have to, snooze the alarm, don’t do the thing that I need to do on the exact  moment  22. Where would you like to travel?

London or Europe to be more specific  23. Do you have trust issues?

Yes and no, it depends  24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

Nights, but sometimes they are the  worst or when I’m alone or car rides  25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

Butt, too fat  26. What do you do when you wake up?

Go for a wee and shower if it is a  uni day if not go or a wee and go to watch youtube on the living room  27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

lighter  28. Who are you most comfortable around?

Cousins,2 in  specific  29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

I haven’t had a boyfriend even thought  I’m 19  30. Do you ever want to get married?

yes  31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?

yes  32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

Shawn Mendes and and Camila  cabello or Lauren J.  33. Spell your name with your chin.

aloedjnazndrdaz  34. Do you play sports? What sports?

Dance counts  35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

Its hard but I think TV  36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

Yes, many times  37. What do you say during awkward silences?

Nothing I ignore them till they  talk again  38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

Sweet, cute, lady, gentleman  39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

Forever21  40. What do you want to do after high school?

For me will be uni, and I want to  have my apartment and live alone (probably a bad idea, because of my depression  I would really kill myself there, but that my dream, live alone, I really  enjoy it)  41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

yes  42. If you’re being extremely quiet what does it mean?

I’m always quit but it means I’m  thinking too much and I’m getting depressed and you can tell because I want to  me more lonely than I already am  43. Do you smile at strangers?

Yes, if I’m not distracted  44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

Outer space, I hate the ocean  45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

My dreams and hope that everything  will be better  46. What are you paranoid about?

idk  47. Have you ever been high?

No, but I wish thought  48. Have you ever been drunk?

No, I don’t like alcohol  49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

Cutting like 5 moths ago or that I  masturbate  50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

red  51. Ever wished you were someone else?

Yes

Be more skinnier  52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

My butt  53. Favourite makeup brand?

Urban decay  54. Favourite store?

Forever 21  55. Favourite blog?

Zoella  56. Favourite colour?

Turquesa, purple, black and withe  57. Favourite food? 

italian  58. Last thing you ate?

Champurrada with milk  59. First thing you ate this morning?

Cahmpurrada with coffee  60. Ever won a competition? For what?

Does it 3rd place  count, on dance competition  61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

nope  62. Been arrested? For what?

nope  63. Ever been in love? 

nope  64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

I didn’t know him till that day, I  don’t even know his name. I was with this girl walking and she saw them, they  know her (they were 2) one of them call her and keep talking, the other one started  to talk to me; then he said lets leave them alone, and we went really near to  sit between a wall full of cars in front of it so no one could see us and  started to talk, then he put his hand on my knee and flirt then he tried to  kiss him but I said that it was my first time so he was like don’t worry and  kissed me it tasted like cigarettes and he wanted to touch me and when I resist  he was again like its okay and took my hand near his part, but I resisted and  he was like okay but kept his hand on my leg, then I was like I have a curfew  and it’s the time already I have to go, and that’s it, amaizing kiss right  65. Are you hungry right now?

No, surprise  66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

I don’t have any friends  67. Facebook or Twitter?

Twitter people, facebooks posts  68. Twitter or Tumblr? tumblr  69. Are you watching tv right now?

Youtube on my tv  70. Names of your bestfriends? 

none  71. Craving something? What?

No, it’s a surprise  72. What colour are your towels?

White  72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

9  73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

no  74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

Like 10 but I gave away 90% of my  child stuffed animals  75. Favourite animal?

Horse and tiger  76. What colour is your underwear?

Pink panties and black bra  77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

chocolate  78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

It depends  79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

grey  80. What colour pants?

Black leggins  81. Favourite tv show?

Skins and red band sociaty  82. Favourite movie?

The perks of being a wallflower  83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

none  84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

Idk 21 jump streen or al teas I don’t  remember  85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

none  86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

Dory  87. First person you talked to today?

My mom  88. Last person you talked to today?

My mom  89. Name a person you hate?

My mom  90. Name a person you love?

Sometimes I think that I don’t love  people, even my family I really have asked that and idk haw I really feel  91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

everyone  92. In a fight with someone?

nope  93. How many sweatpants do you have?

None, but a lot of leggings does  that count?  94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

Like 10  95. Last movie you watched?

gifted  96. Favourite actress?

Don’t have  97. Favourite actor?

Don’t have  98. Do you tan a lot?

I have like a tanned look skin  99. Have any pets?

A dog  100. How are you feeling?

Depressed  101. Do you type fast?

No I don’t think so  102. Do you regret anything from your past?

Yes, a lot of things  103. Can you spell well?

Nop but I tried  104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

yes  105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

nope  106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

Nope that I know  107. Have you ever been on a horse?

Yes, love them, but then I feel  bad because I’m fat and I’m one them  108. What should you be doing?

sleeping  109. Is something irritating you right now?

everything  110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

Nope, thank God  111. Do you have trust issues?

Idk for real  112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

Probably my mom  113. What was your childhood nickname?

Ale? None?  114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

Yes, I love airplanes  115. Do you play the Wii?

No, I always wanted one  116. Are you listening to music right now?

nope  117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

yes  118. Do you like Chinese food?

yes  119. Favourite book?

Fangirl I’m so like the principal  character  120. Are you afraid of the dark?

sometimes  121. Are you mean?

Sometimes with my words  122. Is cheating ever okay?

no  123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

nope  124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

yes  125. Do you believe in true love?

yes  126. Are you currently bored?

yes  127. What makes you happy?

A rainy day with my own plans coming  really nice and I would be alone  128. Would you change your name?

no  129. What your zodiac sign?

Taurus  130. Do you like subway?

yes  131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

Idk if I like him I will date him,  okay I probably would try but I will let him know  132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

My high school friends, I miss  them  133. Favourite lyrics right now?

Bad reputation or understand  134. Can you count to one million?

Idk, I have never tried  135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

Im a good liar  136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

closed  137. How tall are you?

1.60 m  138. Curly or Straight hair?

curly  139. Brunette or Blonde?

brunette  140. Summer or Winter?

Winter  141. Night or Day?

night  142. Favourite month?

december  143. Are you a vegetarian?

No, but I live their food  144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

milk  145. Tea or Coffee?

both  146. Was today a good day?

kinda  147. Mars or Snickers?

Idk mars so snickers  148. What’s your favourite quote?

I don’t have one, but one that I just  remember is “okay I can’t remember of any”  149. Do you believe in ghosts?

yes  150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first  line on that page?

Saw me and knew that I was, but  she hid me from the world,

 I really relate to, and now i  notice that I didn’t put attention