#May We Be Forgiven

[quotespile]

A guy rubbed against me but I think he was just trying to get by. He rubbed me, then said sorry. It was the ‘sorry’ that made me uncomfortable. The rub was kind of interesting, but when he apologized I felt like a creep because I actually liked it.

A. M. Homes, May We Be Forgiven

[ruruas]

I think the reason why people will obsess over and like certain media even if they know themselves that its objectively flawed is because worldbuilding/character-building is such an important aspect of what draws people into certain media.

My two examples of this (to explain what I mean) are going to be the video game Raidou Kuzunoha vs. The Soulless Army (2006) and the book May We Be Forgiven by A. M. Hommes (2012). In my opinion, both of these are very good pieces of media, but have glaring objective flaws that I overlook because I love them so much.

RK's problem is that the gameplay drags the game down, alongside vague characters and a 'it's alright' kind of plot. But the premise of a demon-summoning detective in 1920s Japan, and the aesthetic and world that come with it is so enchanting, so interesting that it's one of my favorite video games of all time, and to this day I pray for a remake or sequel.

May We Be Forgiven has such rich, descriptive writing that the fact that this is an almost 500-page book with only one notable event (at the beginning) doesn't really matter, because the internal mind and external life of Harold Silver (the protagonist) is made to be so interesting by how witty and talented Hommes is as a writer.

It's fascinating, really. I really think that people should be giving more credit to the 'vibe' of a work, because sometimes, that's all it takes for someone to get hooked!

[vesperione]

Speaking as a complete Max Jagerman stan,, the way the fandom has completely butchered his character. Did we watch the same show where he has an established god complex making him believe he’s better than everyone else or ,,,

[angelsdean]

ruthlessly deleting old 2021/2022 posts (not by me) from my dean studies tag like *click* un-incorporating that from my beliefs system! also the way SO many posts have me like ok uh-huh good aaand then say one completely wrong thing that loses me. it's so many posts.

[saaraofthesand]

alright hater girl is back

part 1

[todayisafridaynight]

Holy fuck I thought Jo was in a speedo for a second 🥵🥵🥵

crying at the thought of jo in a speedo cause i know he's miserable 24/7 and speedos are for people who love life. like adachi.

[moe-broey]

Trying to relax only to jolt up with a start like Wait. What if I fucking got the details wrong. I was just spouting shit off from memory. I've played Book 4 the most I've flipped through it a dozen times and have played it in full at least twice. It's the book that has had the MOST intense grip on me, and WHY, and for WHAT. The beginning it was ABSOLUTELY out of spite, but a seed was planted into my psyche. It has lingered ever since. It has cursed me ever since. It has completely consumed me ever since. But what if I'm Fucking Wrong and I just said the most INSANE fucking bullshit imaginable and oh god I'm gonna be killed. For NO GOOD REASON. If my information was accurate, at least I could die with honor. BUT WHAT IF IT'S NOT... all of that.... FOR NOTHING???????

Anyways it went down pretty much how I remembered it, Peony and Mirabilis in particular saying "I love you" (plus "I wanna be closer to you" <- bit I forgor but DID make me go 😶 upon seeing it), Sharena simply says "Alfonse..." in kind of a ditzy way, Anna remains strong and I actually completely forgot Alfonse had dialogue through this too, actually. He's strong about it too though. To the tune of Ocean Man, Business Man....

[skoulsons]

Happy Easter!

Jesus is Risen <3

[dutybcrne]

Rehashing/Redoing Adelinde hcs, now updated to match info of the story:

She is, by birth, Snezhnayan. Her real name is Ada Dorokhova.

She had no family to speak of, save her brother, Lev Dorokhov older than her by five years. The two were raised to join the Fatui ranks, as they had no other family to turn to.

Addie's brother had gone on to become a Pyroslinger. She remained a low-ranking operative, as he kept insisting he didn't want her to take on more dangerous missions. She learned diplomacy and banking instead, as well as picking up the various languages of the other nations and intel-gathering.

She did however learn to use his gun, at his insistence. She became a far better shot than he, even able to shoot a Mora coin from considerable distance with ease. It was this skill that allowed her to join her brother's company, in spite of her lower rank.

While dispatched to Mond, she and Lev took to intermingling with the locals out of uniform. While it was clear they weren't locals, many assumed and were told they were Fontanian to make things easier on them. It was during these times and interacting with the Mondstadt people that her brother began to have doubts about the Fatui's cause and the things they were taught to believe about the other people. He began to think that they could run from the Fatui and live a peaceful life here in Mondstadt. Because of him, she almost began to contemplate such things too

While expressing these thoughts to her, their company leader had overheard and had him arrested, intent on sending him back to Snezhnaya. In the ensuing struggle, Lev had been killed by his fellow Fatui.

She had been beside herself with grief, but even seeing that and knowing just how close the two had been, their superior officer kept telling her it was for the best, as a traitor like that would only hinder their mission. It was that very grief that had her taking up her brother's gun and turning it against her own comrades, slaughtering them all in a fit of rage.

She can scarcely remember anything from her rampage, save her feelings of grief and anger. From the moment she picked up her brother's weapon and took the first shot through her company leader's head, it was all a murky fog.

She does remember coming to and meeting Crepus Ragnvindr however, having stumbled across the Dawn Winery in running from the Fatui's now ravaged camp. She almost killed him too, had his abrupt query about her well-being and clear distressed concern not caught her off-guard.

After he talked her down and hearing her tale, he first offered her his coat to stave off the cold, then a place in his staff and a home in his manor as he helped treat her wounds. She rejected it promptly, not trusting why he would offer such a kindness to a Fatuus, though him outright lying to the knights who happened upon them and the carnage she'd wrought, that she'd been a mercenary who protected him from the Fatui, had been enough to sway her to trust him more. Especially when he'd left his coat in her care, a last comfort he could offer her and a promise to meet again before they'd part.

It would take several meetings after that before she would take his hand and be led home. During that time, she changed her name to a more local-sounding one, and took to using his cover for her, working as a mercenary in the meantime, occasionally running into him at the Angel's Share whenever she'd stop by for business or leisure. Or to observe him and the sort of man he was, to chat with him endlessly whenever his foolish little sun-bright smile would bloom upon seeing her. Each and every time, he'd ask her to come home with him. Each and every time, she would refuse, and tease perhaps he could try better the next time.

She accepted a year after he'd first made his offer.

Apart from being hired as a maid, Adelinde had also served as Crepus' personal aid and guard. She worked hard to hone and maintain her skills in every aspect she could, taking to her role with utmost dedication. It was perhaps this that wound up leading the rest of the staff to fall in behind her without question, even after having been regarded with suspicion by them due to her sudden disappearance. After all, it became all too clear to them that everything she would say and do, it was all for the good of their master.

She did develop feelings for Crepus, but never acted on them, especially after he'd gotten together with Diluc's mother and the lad had been born. She never faulted him for it nor did she dwell on them, much less seek to have them recognized or returned. Rather, she used them as incentive to better care for him and the young boy, even after his mother was out of the picture. This arrangement felt much more comfortable and right to her, anyways. She would never have changed a thing, even looking back now.

She taught Diluc how to use a firearm, as her brother had her, at the curious child's request. Seeing the lad so hard at work to try and improve to match her her did remind her of him at times, which never failed to make her heart ache.

She helped train Elzer in the use of firearms as well, in addition to helping train him to manage the Winery while Diluc grew up. With Elzer, she gave him the extra learnings she'd picked up with the Fatui to ensure he would be the best possible servant for the Ragnvindrs. He is the sole living person in Mond who knows the full extent of her origin, Crepus having been such, previously.

The one who reminded Adelinde of her brother the most though was Kaeya. She saw it in the gentle kindness he exuded, in the love he gave, the shyness he carried himself with yet always pushing himself to stand proud beside his more confident sibling. She saw it in his sharp wit and love of stories, the way his eyes shined in excitement at each and every one. She will never admit it, even if prodded, but it is for that reason that he was her favorite of the two. Still, she doted on both equally, adoring them both with every ounce of love her heart could muster. They were as much family to her, as the others in the staff and Winery came to be.

She and Crepus were both aware of Kaeya's heritage, the man having confided to her that Kaeya's eyes resembled those of Khaenri'ahns from legends he'd read. They both resolved to let the boy come clean at his own pace, as they felt he deserved a home, regardless of his origin, just as she had been given that chance. She made the greatest efforts to ensure he felt as welcomed as she did, that he adjusted well and personally tutored him whenever he needed the extra help. Every effort she could give to make sure he would feel safe in this new home.

Addie did eventually admit her feelings for Crepus some time before Diluc's eighteenth birthday. She had never intended to, but has done so only because he had directly asked her regarding them, and she refused to lie or keep secrets from him. She never had, since the day she'd begun to work for him, after all. As happy as he had been to know of them, and as relieved as she had been to know he was alright with it, they were never truly able to navigate what could come out of them, as Crepus died soon after.

In learning of Diluc's intent to journey to Snezhnaya, she cashed in a few favors with her old mercenary buddies and a few Fatui folk she knew without shadow of a doubt she could still trust to have them look after him the best they could. No doubt he would be hard to locate, with what limited information she could have and provide, but if it could make the difference between life or death for him, she would take every measure she could.

She admitted as much to him when he returned, through relieved tears and choked sobs upon seeing him.

She was not only one of the first to learn of his intents to moonlight as a vigilante, but his greatest supporter. She resolved to ensure not a single alibi of his could slip, to ensure each and every one of the staff would remain nothing but loyal to him, and resolved to personally take care of any 'loose ends' should it really come down to it.

Adelinde has personally stopped many a home invader over the years, from the start of her service to Crepus, to the present day, and never fails to sleep without both her own and her brother's guns prepped and ready at her bedside. She also frequently patrols the manor in the late hours, and there are no shortage of guns specially hidden around the manor for her to make a grab for in emergencies.

No, she will Never tell Diluc where they all are.

[sexynetra]

angel, infatuation, daydream 💌

angel; is there anyone you’d do anything for?

My parents, probably. I am like. Astoundingly close with my parents and they are my favorite people in the universe :)

infatuation; first crush?

In kindergarten I got a lecture from my mom about how I can’t kiss boys on the school bus bc I walked up and planted a smoocher on a boy named Caleb. Also I had two boyfriends in preschool. Still wound up lesbian 🤪 celebrity wise? Anne Hathaway or Selena Gomez probably. Or Jeanette mccurdy

daydream; best memory?

Oh gosh I don’t know!!! I have a lot of amazing memories! Probably one of the international choir competitions/festivals I’ve travelled for <3 or the album recording we did? Or maybe the Hollywood bowl performance with lang lang and his hot wife 😂 probably choir related memories though, those are some of the most amazing ones. We went to a little mountain town in Italy this summer that has a population of like 800 people and I think that city rewired my brain chemistry even though I’m a big city girl through and through

[mmmairon]

oh dear, I'm so sorry to hear that abt your heifer :(( juliet sounds so sweet and I hope you're doing all right,,, AND IM SERIOUSLY SO MAD AT WHOEVER SHOT THE OTHER COW WHO DARED TO DO THAT

also don't apologise for talking about your cows! I did ask how they were doing, and that includes both good and bad happenings after all ( ´∀｀) I'm just glad that they're doing better this week hehe <33

—milkmaid diluc anon (I am not used to this title at all but it is very iconiqué HAHA)

yeah, miss Juliet was my little ray of sunshine :’) here’s my last picture i have of her. but now she has eternity to graze in flowering meadows <3

as for the other cow, i was definitely furious for about 3 days straight and then cried a little bit. but the good news is that she will be completely fine, the gun was likely only a .22

cows are much, much hardier than to be taken down by that. but i’ll be keeping my eye on her for the next few weeks.

[littledeadling]

I can’t watch the new mandalorian trailer I’m still so burned by the shitshow ending of TBOBF 💀💀💀 long rant in the tags sorry please don’t mind me

[yerimoonlight]

Siri...Play Traitor on repeat because The Legacy of Yangchen is coming out in July and I still have not forgiven Kavik.

[somewherebetweenrage]

What Is It You Want From Love?

passion you need someone that makes you come alive, sets your soul on fire and whose touch feels like it sears your skin (like, in a good way.) the way you love is all consuming and sometimes it’s terrifying, but you can’t wait to give all of yourself to someone else. to open yourself up completely and for them to hold your soul in their hands is what love means to you. the only thing you want separating you and your partner is your skin, so naturally you turn to worshipping that very skin in hopes that the way you love will go deeper than what you touch and that they’ll know exactly how far you’d go to keep this fire alive.

Tagged by: stolen from @acertainfemininemystique​ like forever ago​​ Tagging: @defectivexfragmented​ , @itsybitsypeterparker​ , @wcrriorhearts​ , @shieldretired​ , @outlawiism​ & anyone else who wants <3

[ladyimaginarium]

please do not repost.

[autball]

MASKING MYTHS BUSTED: “Masking = Acting NT.”

FALSE.

Autistic masking does not necessarily mean “pretending to be allistic/neurotypical," although you’d definitely be forgiven for thinking it does.

Non-autistic researchers have been referring to it as “camouflaging” for years, framing it as an intentional choice to suppress autistic traits and replace them with allistic ones in order to “blend in.” Doing an internet search on the term will return several similar results.

But now, Autistic researchers are in the game, and their take is much more nuanced and comprehensive than that. (Funny how that happens, isn’t it?)

They’ve found that:

- It CAN be intentional but is often subconscious and involuntary 

- It is a protective response to trauma and feeling unsafe 

- It is often about suppressing more than just autistic traits 

- It is about identity management and being able to predict how people will treat you, not just “blending in”

Some people will lean into being “the bad kid” because they know that’s what people expect of them. Some people will even act “more autistic” because they know that’s what people expect of them. Others still will do things to attract attention in controllable, more “acceptable” ways to avoid attracting attention in unsafe, more stigmatizing ways. Not because they WANT to be that way, but because it lets them predict people’s responses better, which feels safer.

Also, there are Autistic people who can’t “pass” for non-autistic no matter how hard they try. That doesn’t mean they’re not masking. They may actually be working hard to suppress A LOT, they just can’t do everything to neuronormative standards.

None of these people will be accused of “blending in,” yet they are still masking their hearts out. When we assume they are not, we miss all the harm that masking is causing them. But they are suppressing themselves and suffering the consequences of that just as much as any Autistic person whose mask successfully says, “Hey, I’m just like you!”

(For more on this, please see the work of Dr. Amy Pearson and Kieran Rose.)