#Matt Heath

[olympain]

Well, good on you, but that was a boring piece of radio, wasn't it?

[justkellme]

Look I love Matt Heath as much as the next idiot, but having seen him on the Guy Mont Spelling Bee very recently this does feel unfair to Tofiga.

[littlealexhorne]

more rankings of the tmnz men bc i can

[cloudberrylane]

Taskmaster NZ cast reunion (via Rose Matafeo's IG stories).

Bonus story (from Guy Montgomery):

[cosmictap]

Was listening to a podcast at x2 speed as usual and then jeremy starts talking about how he didnt like that matt was listening to stuff at x1.5 speed..

‘how dare you’

‘you are ruining the world- people like you, 1.5 speed guys.’

[grapehyasynth]

no-context taskmaster nz

[graphicpolicy]

An All-Nigerian voice cast has been unveiled for Iyanu based on the comic from Roye Okupe and YouNeek Studios

An All-Nigerian voice cast has been unveiled for Iyanu based on the comic from Roye Okupe and YouNeek Studios #animation

[mieczyslawn]

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ★ . . . my boyfriend’s pretty cool

[ikyoudreamofme]

Please…-Fratboy!Chris x Mentallyill!Reader

Summary: Reader is in a bad place but no-one notices until Chris sees her at one of his friends parties blackout drunk, messy hair, worn out makeup and darks under-eyes he notices something is wrong with his girl.

T/W:SH, bad mental health, mentally drained reader, consumption of alcohol,drug abuse, suicide attempt.

A/N: If you are in a bad place please speak to someone it will get so much better I promise. If anyone needs someone to talk to my messages are open. Also love writing sad fics, love you all and thank you for reading. xoxo

PART 2 IS OUT

--------------------------------------------------

You lay hooked up to machines asleep, Chris sat beside the bed his head on the side of it holding your hand waiting so painfully for you to wake up.

2 hours before

You stumble into the party that Chris’ friend had thrown. You hadn’t spoken to Chris for a few days, leaving your phone at home dead. Your head is heavy as you push through the crowd of sweaty bodies, a bottle of Vodka in your hand that you had brought. Your hair is a mess, eyeliner and mascara smudged around your eyes enhancing the eye bags from the lack of sleep. You trip walking into someone. He holds your shoulders looking down at you. “sorry” you slur going to turn around but he stops you. “it’s okay. I’m Ryan I’ve not seen you before?” He looks down at you his hands moving from your shoulders to your waist, looking up at him through your lashes your, tired eyes saying many words, you shrug pushing his hands off you, stumbling deeper into the crowd of people.

You toss the empty bottle to the side pointing yourself another drink. Someone walks up beside you pouring themselves a drink. “what are you doing?” They whisper stepping closer to you. You turn around looking up at the boy. Chris. “getting a drink?” You reply taking a sip balancing yourself on the table. He shakes his head “you’re already wasted and you’re coming to a party you knew I’d be at but you’re ignoring my messages.”

“Chris it doesn’t matter.” You groan not in the right headspace for a conversation with Chris or anyone. Chris tilts his head a concerned look washing over him. “You’re never like this. What’s going on?” You sigh looking up at him through dead eyes. You stay quiet mumble something incoherent before walking back into the crowd. You fight tears blinking rapidly hearing your name being called out from behind you, you don’t dare to look back afraid of breaking down in front of Chris.

You make your way to the dealer that always shows up to frat parties. “I need something strong.” You tell him gulping your drink. “don’t sell to drunk people.” Is all he says. You roll your eyes pulling a hundred out your bra waving it in front of him like it’s nothing. He gives in handing you the pills before snatching the money out your hand. Walking into the bathroom you place the little baggy of pills on the counter. You place them in your mouth downing it with the left overs of your drink.

Footsteps get louder and closer to the door as your vision and hearing fade out. “Y/n! Open the door please! There’s something wrong and I need to know you’re okay! Please y/n” Chris shouts banging on the door, you reach out to open it before your vision goes dark and everything stops.

[darkcollectornerd]

Poll: Favourite Batman Movie?

[assiraphales]

does anyone else remember the movie where matt damon was supposed to be the designated hot one so they gave him long hair and made heath ledger cut his / wear glasses. jokes on them bc it didn’t work

[littlealexhorne]

ROUND 0 - Taskmaster NZ S2

[joe-spookyy]

thinking about batman today so here’s a brief essay explaining my thoughts on every live action batman actor and their films, along with my ranking of the films i’ve seen.

as the original, i have to give adam west some 
serious credit. and god was his movie enjoyable. the bit when he was literally fist fighting a shark and had to use bat shark repellent spray to get it off of him was probably the best moment in batman history. he was very reminiscent of the batman from scooby doo meets batman (1972). or i guess that batman was reminiscent of him. whatever. i was very entertained by his film and i quite enjoyed the addition of robin, as i feel that he goes underutilized in batman movies. i really loved how every single item in his batcave was labeled, and how all of it began with the word bat. the bat navigational computer. the bat water fountain. the bat ladder. i love it. the villains were just the right amount of camp, although i did not care for the fact that the joker clearly had a mustache that was just painted over. caesar romero could you really not bear to part with it for one film? yeesh. my one complaint is that batman did not seem to be enthused about anything throughout the entire runtime. as my father pointed out, he was quite spock-like. not a sweet ounce of real excitement or fear. i really loved how he ran that cartoon bomb all through gotham though. really entertaining sequence.


christian bale does bruce wayne and batman very well, but his batman voice is so funny that it distracted me from anything important that happened in the movies. it sounded like he was swallowing gravel or perhaps like he had smoked a pack a day since he was 2 years old. also, the cowl on his batsuit had a really pointy nose and i did not like that. he had the idea and everything he did was great but the acting choice to give batman such a stupid voice takes away from everything. it left me pondering. did bruce sit in his little batcave practicing voices? do you think he made alfred give him advice on which fake voice was most menacing? do you think he tried different accents? i can’t deal with the lack of answers. however, the dark knight is really good so i will give him that. 


clooney and kilmer did a fine job in the role HOWEVER. i want to track down whichever costume designer chose to give the batsuit nipples and give them a piece of my mind because why. why would they do that. why. it is important to add though that batman forever was one of the most insane, camp, off the rails films i have ever seen and i think i probably enjoyed it more than any of the other ones because i was laughing throughout the entire runtime. it was a batman movie but he was the least interesting thing about the film. the sets were literally breathtaking and so eye catching. the outfits were insane. the plot lines were baffling in the most positive way. i wish joel schumacher had been put in charge of directing every movie ever because i definitely feel like more movies need to be exactly like this monstrosity. cinema peaked in 1995 when they put jim carrey in that atrocious little riddler costume. i almost forgive the costume designers for the bat nipples because of how insane and fantastic the two face costume is. almost. 


now micheal keaton had the right idea i suppose. however he failed to grab my attention. he wasn’t strange enough, nor was he very smooth and suave. he was right in the middle and that made him too much of a regular guy to be a good bruce wayne. his batman voice was literally just his normal voice so that kind of left me confused. how did no one realize that bruce wayne sounds exactly like batman. come on guys. excellent joker though. he wasn’t too serious but i think he could have been a bit more silly. however i’m inclined to dislike him for the fact that he was in batman returns. when i tell you this movie ruined my life i mean it. when danny devito ate a raw fish and black saliva dripped out of his mouth, the image was scarred into my brain and i can still see it so clearly despite not having watched the movie since i was about eight. i did enjoy the penguins with rocket launchers ont their backs, but i cannot get over the awful aspects of this one. i will never forgive you for this micheal.


robert pattinson’s batman, or battinson as i like to call him, was very good. probably i’m biased because of robert pattinson in eyeliner but that is besides the point. his movie was also quite good but it falls into the trap of making batman all serious and gritty. this is a huge mistake. this man named his car “the batmobile” and is literally fighting some guy called “the penguin” and you decided to make it all dark and serious? this has comedic potential and i physically cannot take it seriously when some billionaire in a rubber batsuit is lurking in the background of a serious police investigation. i don’t care who got murdered, the minute he starts growling about riddles from the corner i am going to start giggling. however robert did kill the role and i have to say he did a great job making bruce wayne an absolute pathetic loser, which is what i think the world needs. unfortunately this version of the riddler was so lame and boring. where is the camp! where are the FUN riddles! where is the brightly colored hair! clearly matt reeves has never seen batman forever.


finally we come to the best batman, lego batman. i literally just rewatched this movie yesterday so i think i’m probably an authority on the movie. will arnett understood this role so deeply and it very much shows. this bruce wayne has none of the issues i had with any of the others. the batman voice does not give me secondhand embarrassment for him. the suit has no bat nipples. and most importantly the movie does not take batman too seriously while still giving him an important character arc, acknowledging his flaws both as a person and as a hero, and allowing him to recognize these flaws and begin to overcome them. plus any batman that canonically listens to elliott smith is a friend of mine. something i find incredibly important is that the lego batman movie also does something no other batman movie has done before: it dares to be a rom-com. when batman told the joker “i hate you forever” while they were less than an inch from each other’s faces, i was wiping a sweet tear from my eye. i want what they have.

to conclude i think the only batman movies that really understand the characters are the ones that are truly just off the rails insane. although it’s important to recognize the darker aspects of the character, too many superhero movies feel the need to be gritty and serious all the way through, and the lack of balance leaves viewers (me) disappointed. they need to return to their roots and make the genre interesting and unique again. slightly unrelated but i also really think they need to stop rebooting the joker. there’s been so many different versions and as much as i love the jokes there are other batman villains. so many other batman villains. please let the joker rest i am begging and pleading.

FINAL RANKING!

fuck you batman returns

[cosmictap]

I’ve watched more so.. have more!

Currently watched: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, (started) 10 and (first half of) 14 + TM NZ 1,2 and 3

- ‘Alex’s existence would be evidence for the existence of God’ -Joe Thomas S8

- ‘Rosalind’s a fucking nightmare!’ - Aisling, Bob and Sally (S5)

- Romesh putting his wedding ring up for the prize task (S1)

- Josh Widdicombe getting greg’s name TATTOOED on his foot (S1)

- That task in S8 where they’re on the train tracks and have to stay hidden from Alex

- Chris Parker. (NZ 3)

- The diss tracks which just consisted of david correos singing death threats and matt heath threating to eat the other teams asses. (he ‘didn’t know what it meant’) (NZ 2)

- Josh Thomson and the coin flip (NZ 3)

- Angela Dravid bringing in her anti anxiety meds for the first ever NZ prize task (NZ 1)

- ‘Congratulations to Guy Williams for being the first ever New Zealand Taskmaster contestant to start his own applause.’ (NZ 1) (Paul and Guy are brothers)

- Make a best friend, hit an apple of the best friends head, hide the best friends body (NZ 3)

- David Correos and the shoe laces.. (NZ 2)

- Ed Gamble with that task he nearly finished and had to start again (S9)

-David Baddiel and ed gamble in that drawing live task. (S9)

again, VERY non- extensive but we could be here forever..

Been watching a lot a lot of taskmaster recently

Currently watched: 1,2 (most of) 3, 6,7,8, and (first half of) 14

Favourite moments: (under read more bc spoilers)

- Season seven when Rhod Gilbert just kept bringing up that one picture of Greg Davies..

- ‘some WANKY WORK AROUND’ - Joe Thomas from S8

- The Hula hoop incident.. (S7 James Acaster)

- Al Murray just pissing into an egg cup essentially?? (S3)

- S3. Paul Chowdhry. ‘I creamed myself’ ‘You are a man who likes women.?’ ‘Bastards crying innit.’

- Joe Wilkinson (?) and the potato throw. (S2)

- Tim Key cheating the ENTIRE season (S1)

- Joe Thomas full stop (S8)

- Rob Becket suprising Alex with a power washer while dressed as a nan. (S3)

- Rhod Gilbert in that one team task where they had to build an extension to the house (S7)

- ‘Find the cat’ (S3?)

- Greg and Alex.

-The dichotomy between Joe + Sian and Paul, Lou + Iian

- ‘Excuse me, I’m shooting a TV show for comic relief, would it be possible to give you a high five’ (S1 Tim Key)

A very much non extensive list

[mrs-jamesbbarnes]

We are not the same…

Your cowboy sexual awakening:

My cowboy sexual awakening:

(This is a joke I’m thoroughly enjoying the Glenessaince I just couldn’t help but giggle since I was raised on westerns and reruns of the Dukes of Hazzard so the cowboy hat has always done it for me.)

[mattnben-bennmatt]

[Heath Ledger] was too bright for this world. Coming off [The Brothers Grimm, I was] telling everybody that I just worked with the best actor I've ever seen. And people were like, “What are you talking about? The guy from A Knight's Tale?” And I was like, “You just wait. And wait until you see what kind of a director he's gonna be.” There were things that he did where I couldn't have got there in three lifetimes. And there were ways in which he was like a puppy dog. You wanted to protect him. [His death was] just fucking pointless. I called Terry [Gilliam, The Brothers Grimm director] when I found out, and he was like, “I'm sitting here in Vancouver. I'm looking out the window, and it's a beautiful sunny day, and the lights are turning red, and the lights are turning green, and cars are stopping, and cars are driving. I am surrounded by mediocrity. And he's gone.”

— Matt Damon on Heath Ledger, in GQ’s “The Encyclopedia of Matt Damon” (July 2016).