#Make it Angsty
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Hiii can you write a part 2 for this? Maybe like he snaps out of it and realized what happened. And he remembers what reader siad and just angst
Darkness
Author: xxwritemeastoryxx
Pairings: Elijah Mikaelson x Fem!reader
Word Count: 4.2K
Warnings: Angst, death, blood, mentions of ripped out hearts. Red door Elijah.
Authorâs Note: Hey! Look! I'm finally posting something! There's been so many things happening and I'm just glad something is being posted. I'm slowly but surely working on the Make It Angsty Celebration requests. They're coming along with other things as well. I promise. Please note that you NEED to read Demons Within to understand what is going on with this fic. Thank you so much Anon for this request and thank you for participating in the Make it Angsty Celebration.
I do not and will not ever give permission for my fics to be copied and posted on other sites. Donât do it. Donât be that person that ruins it for me and everyone else.
Feedback gives me life and motivation for future things. While likes are appreciated, reblogs are gold. Seriously, if you enjoyed this in the slightest, please reblog â„
Demons Within || TVDU Masterlist
If there was one thing Elijah learned during his existence it was that magic could have a vice grip upon its target depending on the spell. Hexs sucked the light and life out of the person they were put upon. Immortality had its consequences that proved time and time again that even an original vampire could be bested with the simplest of spells.Â
Many forms of magic had been witnessed through the centuries. And while Elijah had his fair share of receiving spells, there was nothing in comparison to the witchcraft his mother had put upon him. Forcing Elijah to completely experience the darkness that laid and waited just beyond the red door locked within his mind.Â
Since he had awoken, the moments of darkness would come unexpectedly. The monster that lay dormant for so long was eager to play. To sink his teeth into the beauty that surrounded him. To destroy the glimpses of perfect moments that hid who he truly was. A creature that enjoyed the hunt as a sport and the blood that was tasted was the prize. Â
Elijah had been able to keep his darker self at bay many times. Even with his motherâs spell intact, there was always a way to come out of it before he had done something he regretted. One thing was always for certain, his family had remained protected at all times. At least that was until the darkness consumed him.Â
The simplest of conversations had triggered the monster within. He and Y/N had been talking about the safety of their family. A plan being put into motion to stop Esther once and for all. But the dormant monsterâs interest had been piqued by the blood Elijahâs wife had been cleaning off of her shirt, blood from the last person she pulled a heart from. The clean up triggered the monster that she shouldnât be hiding who she really was.Â
The more Y/N spoke to Elijah about her plan, her eyes had been on the towel in her hand as she wiped the last of the blood off. She had missed the way Elijah was beginning to lose his hold on the present. She had missed the way the darkness was so eager to consume him. And when she finally noticed it, it had been too late.Â
The last thing Elijah had remembered was the way Y/N slowly reached her hand up to his face. His name left her lips softly as she attempted to call him back to her. The same maneuver she had done several times to keep him there with her. But this time it didn't work. It wasnât long before Elijah had completely lost control of himself.Â
Screams filled his ears even in the darkness. The part of Elijah that fought for control could only listen to the destruction that his body was creating. The cries for help may have brought pleasure to the monster currently at play, but to Elijah, he couldnât even bring himself to begin to think about the damage.Â
âLijah. Itâs me. You know me. Youâve known me for centuries.
The familiarity of the voice that played through his ears should have helped. The very voice that had brought him peace was there trying to break through to him. The voice that had been embedded in his mind for centuries. During his times of being daggered it was that voice that helped him through the darkness. Yet at this very moment, he couldnât grasp onto the hope that the voice held.Â
You know me, Elijah. I can show you.
The voice was breathless. As if the person speaking was having trouble breathing. And in the darkness that surrounded Elijah, he knew he should be worried. He knew that what was happening wasnât good. That every fiber of his being should have been fighting to stop what was happening, but nothing he did to gain control worked.Â
The darkness kept him under. Held him down while he was forced to listen to the sounds that entered through his ears. Even his brain refused to let in the familiarity of the voice that he was currently listening to. The magic within him taunting him.Â
You should have taken Esther's offer.Â
I-itâs okay. The sweet voice played through his ears once more. The words cracked slightly and it caused an ache to fill Elijah. One that the monster didnât or would ever understand. Iâm not scared. I promise. Itâs n-not your fault if you do this. Itâs going to be okay. Just know that I love you.
NO!
It was the first thought that Elijah had been able to force out of the abyss. The one and only thought that begged and pleaded his body not to do this. To not do anything to the voice that had brought him comfort in the darkness. No matter how hard Elijah tried to pull himself out of the darkness, nothing worked. Nothing he tried to keep the voice safe worked.Â
It wasnât until the satisfaction of subduing a threat washed over him that he knew he failed. The ache that he felt moments before had lingered, if not grew more with each passing moment. The silence had proved he had lost the comfort of that voice.Â
Elijah?
The echo of his name registered in his mind some time later. How much time had passed, he was unsure. He had no idea how long he had been held under in the darkness. But he knew that was his name. He knew the familiarity of that voice. He just had to push himself out.Â
âWhat happened Elijah?â His sisterâs voice. He knew that. He knew Rebekahâs voice. He could hear the panic in her words as he pulled himself closer to the surface.Â
âItâs Estherâs spell.â Klausâs voice filled his ears. âIâve seen this look on him before.â
âWhereâs Y/N?â Rebekah asked. Elijah could only assume that Rebekah had been asking Klaus. But the question had brought Elijah closer to the surface than he had been in hours.Â
âY/N.â Her name came out as a whisper but it was enough for him to gain the necessary control over his body once more.
He blinked his eyes a few times before the darkness that held onto him so tightly finally let go. The blurred edges of his vision finally clearing and allowed him to focus on his siblings. Klaus had been standing to his left and Rebekah to his right. Both of them had the same worried expressions displayed on their faces.Â
âAre you and Y/N okay?â Rebekahâs voice was soft. She was trying to keep her voice calm. If Klaus was sure this was the spell, she didnât need her older brother being triggered once more.Â
Confusion filled Elijah at her question. He and Y/N had been fine moments ago. They simply had been discussing what steps to take to help get rid of Esther. What could possibly have happened in the last few minutes that would have caused his siblings to worry as they were?
That was when he caught sight of his blood drenched sleeve. It rested on the arm rest of the chair in the courtyard. He had no memory of ever sitting in that chair let alone how the blood had gotten on him. Dried blood covered his arm and was even caked on his fingers.Â
The more Elijah had a grip on reality, the more he noticed the smallest of details about himself. Besides the blood that lingered on his sleeve and hand, his face felt dry. No doubt from the blood that currently covered his lips and chin. While his suit may have been dark, a shade of crimson had taken front and center. The white button up ruined by a victim he was unaware of.Â
âWhat happened?â Rebekah asked once more.Â
Elijah shook his head. âI have no idea.âÂ
As he moved to stand, his siblings allowed him the space he needed to do so. Elijah took in his surroundings, looking for any clarification as to what happened. His eyes moved from one place to another, trying to piece the last thing he remembered.Â
The rest of the courtyard had been left untouched. There was no evidence that there was an altercation of some kind. There were no bodies lingering on the floor somewhere. There was no scent of fresh blood filling his nose to indicate the death he caused had been there.Â
âWhereâs Y/N?â Elijah asked, looking towards his siblings. âShe may be able to explain what I cannot.â
Elijah knew that this had been his motherâs doing. He had known that there was something that had caused his mind to blank. But he had no idea how long he had been under or what had caused it. Everything deep within him was telling him something horrible had happened.Â
âSheâs not here.â Klaus noted. âWhen we arrived, it had just been you.â
âI tried calling her phone.â Rebekah added. âBut she left it here. I know she wouldnât leave you while you were fighting this.â A flash of a memory passed through Elijahâs mind at her words.Â
âStay with me.â Y/Nâs said as she brought her thumbs up to Elijahâs cheeks. Her thumbs moved over the veins that were forming underneath his eyes. âElijah.â
Elijah had been fighting it off. He was trying his hardest to stay there with her. To fight the darkness that wanted to consume him. He watched as her hands moved down to his neck in a comforting touch. But the only thing the darkness registered was a threat.Â
His hand quickly grabbed a hold of her arm and twisted it. As he had done so, a sickening crack played through the air and Y/N cried out in pain before she pulled herself free. He watched as she took a few steps away from him.Â
In return, Elijah took several steps towards her. The only thing registering in his brain was to get rid of the threat that stood in front of him. Y/Nâs eyes filled with fear for the briefest of moments before she turned and ran with him following right behind her.Â
A gasp left Elijahâs lips as the memory left his mind. The details left him shaking his head in disbelief. He wouldnât do that to her. Never in his wildest dreams would he ever hurt his wife like that.Â
âWhat is it?â Rebekah asked, watching her brotherâs face change with his emotions.Â
âI hurt her.â His voice carried his disbelief and he hadnât missed the look of shock on his siblings as the words settled within him. He shook his head once more trying to get things straight. âI broke her arm before she ran. She couldnât get through to me."
An indescribable feeling began to form within Elijah. It was a feeling Elijah had never felt before. It was almost a deep satisfaction mixed in with grief that he knew he shouldnât be experiencing. Yet it was there in the pit of his chest.Â
âShe got away.â Rebekah was hopeful. âShe managed to get away and sheâs waiting until you came back to your senses to come home.â
I-itâs okay. Iâm not scared. I promise.Â
The ache in his chest grew as he shook his head. The voice that rang within his ears was part of a memory that he couldnât force himself out of. He could only hear her voice but not see what happened to her. Â
âI need to find my wife.â He said before turning and began leaving. Klaus and Rebekah were right on his heels in hopes to find Y/N and to find her completely fine.
It wasnât long before the Mikaelsons had found themselves in the woods just outside of town. The familiarity of the area alerting Elijah that he had been there earlier that day. Klaus and Rebekah watched their brother as he tried to piece his memory together. Their motherâs spell was doing a number on him in the worst possible way.Â
The further they ventured into the woods, Klaus tried his best to be hopeful. But he was slowly picking up on how things had gone. Klaus knew what it was like to thrive with the darker sides of vampirism unlike his brother. As thrilling as the kill was, the hunt had been part of the fun.Â
If Elijahâs darker side had been hunting, Klaus knew there was only so far that Y/N could run before she found herself within his grasp. His sister in law may have been a vampire for centuries and stronger than most, she wasnât an original. Even she could be killed easily if he or any of his siblings got a hold of her.Â
The sound of a twig snapping right under Elijahâs foot had snapped another memory through his mind.
With every step Y/N took as she ran, Elijah hadnât been far from her. He could see the way she ran through the woods. Every fiber of the monster within him enjoying the hunt. But even while a hunter could find the hunt exciting, eventually there needed to be a time where the hunted needed to be caught.Â
He watched as Y/N steered towards her right before he moved himself to lead her to turn in a different direction. The game plan to keep moving her in the direction he wanted her. Her attempts at running from him would soon be pointless and heâd have her right where he wanted her.Â
He watched as she occasionally brushed by the branches close to her. Some of them broke while others bent to the force of her passing. He slowed his steps a bit, knowing it would give the moment of peace before heâd pounce.Â
That was until the slightest tug of a smirk played at his lips the moment he heard voices close by.Â
The soft late afternoon breeze picked up, allowing the scent of blood to fill the air. It alerted all of them to the strong scent that had been close by. It caused them to turn their attention in the direction of the wind.Â
âBlood.â Rebekah said out loud. Even though they knew what the scent was before the clarification, it needed to be heard to make sure they were all on the same page.Â
âNot herâs.â Elijah noted as he looked back towards the direction he had been going moments before. âTwo hikers if it is needed to be known. They never saw it coming.â
Klaus looked down at the ground before looking towards his sister. A silent look shared between the two of them. One meant that this may not have the outcome they were hoping for. While Klaus wasnât by any means hoping for Y/Nâs death, that was all his mind settled on. If the bodies in the distance were any indication his brother had been pulled deep into the darkness that there was no telling what he could have done.Â
All it took was for Elijah to take a few more steps further into the woods before dread completely filled him. His chest became tight as the ache filled him. His heart knew well before his brain had registered the dark memories that were kept at bay. And with one more step his world had come to a complete stop.Â
Not too far in front of where he currently stood, his eyes fell to the base of a tree. Just peeking from behind it laid a hand, resting. One that currently rested palm down with the sun catching the ring that took residence on the fourth finger. A ring he had spent months perfecting the band the stone that Y/N loved sat in.Â
âNo.â Elijahâs head shook as he took another step toward the hand. And with every step he took, his mind took the opportunity to torment him with the memories that he couldn't grasp onto until now.Â
Y/N had been looking just past the tree she had been hiding behind. Her attempts at being still to try and locate him had been pointless. The moment she had stopped, Elijah had her. The brief moments he had with hikers didnât stop him keeping Y/N exactly where he wanted her.Â
Her moment of distraction allowed for his opening. Elijah grabbed a hold of her arm and spun her around to face him, pinning her to the tree. Her startled yelp filled his ears and the monster within him had chuckled.Â
He could see the way her eyes had been taking him in. No doubt taking in the creature that was reveling in death it was causing. He could see the way her eyes held worry for what was happening to him. But the creature within him could see the spark of fear that played within them as well.Â
ââLijah.â He watched as she shook her head slightly. âItâs me. You know me. Youâve known me for centuries.â
From the moment Elijah noticed Y/Nâs hand, there was hope that she was okay. While he may not have known what happened to her, he had hoped that she was only knocked out. He hoped he hadnât hurt her too much and that he would send a lot of time trying to make up for what he may have done to hurt her. But once he reached her, he fell to his knees in front of her.
Her skin had been ashen gray. The dark colored veins that covered her body had been every indication that she wasnât going to wake up. Y/N hadnât been like him or his siblings. There wasnât the possibility of waking up from an attempt at her life. And if that hadnât been proof enough, her heart laid close by.Â
Tears filled Elijahâs eyes as he reached for her. His hand gently ran along her cheek as he took in her face. The life and color in her eyes that he loved so much had been gone. Even as he lifted her body into his lap, there was disbelief that even his darker self had been capable of killing the one woman he would never stop fighting for. Yet, she laid lifeless in his hold. Â
A sob passed his lips as he leaned down and pressed his forehead to her face. There were several emotions playing through him. Guilt, grief, anger at himself and at the monster that laid within him. Anger at his mother for the spell she had placed on him that forced that monster to the surface when he spent centuries trying to keep him at bay.
A gasp left Rebekahâs lips as she and Klaus had come to Elijahâs side. They both had taken in the scene just as Elijah had moments before. grief had instantly flooded the siblings as they watched their brother hold onto his wife.Â
When Rebekah tried to take a step towards Elijah and Y/N, Klaus pulled her towards him and wrapped his arms around her in a comforting hug. While he knew that Rebekah meant well in wanting to be by their brotherâs side, Klaus knew that Elijah needed a moment with his wife without anyone else interfering.Â
A loud cry of pain rang in Elijahâs ears as it left Y/Nâs lips causing her hands to fall to her side. He watched as she looked down to find that he removed his hand from her neck, his other had been shoved into her chest. Her heart was within his grasp as he watched her take in her current situation.
He could feel the way her heart beat within his grasp. How fragile she had become the moment he had his hand in her chest. He had been holding her literal life in his hand and only one movement would bring the threat in his eyes to death.Â
He watched as Y/N's eyes had filled with tears before they began flowing down her cheeks. He had been studying her reactions. Taking them in as if for a moment as he was fighting himself on what he was doing. But the magic rooted deep within the monster would never allow the man out of the deep to save his beloved. With the simple action of squeezing his hand, another scream filled his ears at the action.
Elijah watched as even though Y/N had been struggling to fight against his hold, the tears that had once been streaming down her face had slowed. The fear that once was in her eyes, vanished almost completely. Her reactions went from surviving to accepting of what was to come.
Elijah shook his head as the memories flooded in. The details that poured into his mind did nothing but fuel the guilt and anger that filled him. Y/N tried everything she could to break through to him. Everything that worked beforehand, she had tried once more.Â
It was when Elijah had watched as her features changed in his memories that he understood how deep he had been under his motherâs spell. And as the memories continued to play, his hold on Y/Nâs body became a little tighter.Â
Elijah watched as Y/N struggled for a moment more as she tried to gain some control over herself. Her eyes met his as she took a shaky breath.Â
âI-itâs okay.â Her voice cracked slightly before she groaned from the pain from the slightest movement of his hand. âIâm not scared. I promise. Itâs n-not your fault if you do this. Itâs going to be okay. Just know that I love you.â
Elijah may have received the message Y/N had been trying to get to him, but that didnât change what happened. Y/N had known she couldnât break through to him to get him to stop. The only thing she could do was speak to the man that would come out of the darkness eventually.Â
âForgive me.â Elijah said as he looked down at Y/N. Tears had fallen from his cheek and several tear drops had landed on Y/Nâs face.Â
His mother had been hell bent to prove to her children that there was a way to get away from the creatures they had become. She offered each of them a way to start over and each of her children refused, content with their life even if there were centuries of heartache and darkness. None of them would be willing to trade their lives to live within an innocentâs body.Â
With that refusal, Esther played dirty and Y/N was the necessary means to the witch in order to drive her words home to her children. While it hadn't been directly her doing, it was her spell that left Elijah holding his wifeâs body as he cried uncontrollably at what he did.
No amount of apologies that passed his lips could take back the actions he had done. No amount of begging to anything that would listen to bring her back would force life into her. No shaky touch of his fingers along her face or press of his lips to her skin would change the actions the creature within had done.Â
His blood stained hand held her ashen gray cheek as his thumb ran along the veins that littered her face. âPlease forgive me.âÂ
The words had been repeated several times in hopes that some way sheâd be able to hear them. He said them more times in the last several minutes than he ever had said them within his existence. Yet, sheâd never be able to say the words that he needed to hear.Â
His heart ached at the thought that she wouldnât be able to give him the forgiveness that he seeked. Even though she accepted and went into her death with no fear, all while promising it hadnât been his fault, he felt otherwise. Her blood, and others, were literally on his hands.Â
With her gone, Elijah knew nothing would be the same. The woman he spent a majority of his existence with had been taken from him. The woman that pulled him from the edge of darkness time and time again would no longer be able to. And that thought alone scared him more than anything.Â
His eyes moved over his face once more. His mind was trying to picture her in any form other than the ashen gray that took a hold of her. Anything to bring life into her. A way to hold on to her for as long as he can mentally do so. Physically, Elijah knew he could sit there for hours holding on to her, begging for the events to be different, begging for her forgiveness for killing her.
It was what would come after, that scared him. His light within the darkness had been snuffed out. The one person that could always bring him back would no longer be able to. The further into the spell he went, there would be no telling what would happen next.Â
As his hold on Y/N tightened, clinging onto what he had left, the creature within taunted him. Taunted him with the memories that he wished never happened in the first place. And with each fresh wave of guilt, Elijah was faced with the undeniable truth.Â
The next time he fell into darkness, there would be no coming back.
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#TVD#the vampire diaries#the originals#elijah mikaelson#elijah mikealson one shot#elijah mikaelson x reader#elijah mikaelson x female reader#elijah mikealson imagine#Elijah Mikaelson angst#reader insert#xxwritemeastoryxx writes 2023#Make It Angsty#Make It Angsty Celebration#Angst#character death#elijah mikaelson fanfiction#Elijah Mikaelsom fics
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the ineffable husbands + numero 3 would be very nice :3
This is what you meant right. This is what you wanted correct
#sorry anon tumblr user Wyvernquill said#MAKE IT ANGSTY#so I had to comply#good omens#good omens crowley#good omens aziraphale#ineffable husbands#my art
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Well, I had an epiphany, and have decided in my Bane torments Gortash in the afterlife fic, he'll end the TV broadcast in the Bhaal Temple at the point that Durge is killed by Bhaal and go "Well, they're dead, sucks to be you!"
And Gortash will know Durge will never come for him because Durge is dead and trapped in their Father's realm.
Durge will fail to find Gortash because they can't get to Bane's realm and don't know he's in the Hells.
Bane just whistling a cheery little ditty of how he's ruined two lover's lives (and afterlife) with the barest amount of effort.
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Orv with The Unsent Project but we arenât ready for that
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Fun fact: Did you know that the original lyrics to "Can't Help Falling in Love" were originally written from a woman's perspective before Elvis took it over and popularized it?
Wise men say: "Only fools rush in" But I can't help Falling in love with him. Shall I stay? Would it be a sin If I can't help Falling in love with him?
Now that you know, you can't unknow. Now go forth and suffer as I have suffered from an improper rhyme scheme.
#shitpost#you're welcome#this has nothing to do with anything i usually blog about#but the almighty youtube algorithm presented me with yet another cover of this song#and i decided to blog about it#it's a classic for a reason#but the more popular version doesn't rhyme#and it bothers me#i would love to listen to a cover with the original lyrics#from any gender#make it gay#make it angsty#just make it rhyme#midnight rambles
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Soulmate au where if you die even for a few seconds, you lose their name. They get a new one while you stay blank.
#soulmate au#make it angsty#johnny having your name but your heart stopping causes your name to disappear#youve got no one but theres a new name on his arm#and you know who that is#john soap mactavish
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reader who canât stand satoru but then he gets hit by a curse that turns him into a cat. you find him, to his dismay, and take him home, only for him to realize how different you are when he isnât around to pester you.
at first, he causes a lot of trouble. breaking things in your house, tearing up the pillows. he just wants to be a human again, but nobody can understand him! but you still take care of him and coddle him no matter how much trouble he causes, so different from how people treat him normally, as if he were a nuisance (which he kind of was on purpose). and he finds himself falling for you without realizing it.
so he stops being a bad cat, steadily losing hope that heâll ever be human again. and satoru would be lying to himself if he said he didnât enjoy how you stroked him while you read a book or let him sleep beside you at night. maybe it wasnât so bad? so he decided then if he was going to be just a cat, he was fine with being your cat.
the higher-ups had taken note of his absence, obviously, and he only knows cause youâve mentioned it to him. you had this endearingweird quirk where youâd talk to him as if he were a real person.
throughout his stay in your home as a house pet, satoru finds out a lot about you. youâve always kept to yourself, but you vent your frustrations out to him while heâs like this, and he offers his comfort the best he can. which you appreciate, rewarding him with kisses that he secretly enjoys.
once he turns human again, by some miracle, his first thought is to go and find you. and when he does, you give him the cold shoulder like you used to, and it surprises him. before he realizes that, ah, he wasnât your pet anymore. he was gojo satoru.
satoru realizes his feelings for you in that moment. when he feels the ache in his chest from your dismissive behavior, it leads him to starting his most important mission yetâwinning your heart once more.
but this time, itâll be as a person, not a damn cat.
#ÊÉ â faeâs fables#ăâĄă satoru#super inspired by the movie 9 lives#should i make this a fic?#i have so many ideas#but i donât want to write it all down#itâs gotta be angsty and stuff too AHSHHAHSHSHHS#so many thoughts#gojo headcanons#gojo x reader#gojo fluff#gojo x you#gojo satoru x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk fluff#jjk x reader#jjk headcanons
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this post was the catalyst for this comic, and i was also thinking of a desi song lyric (tere dil ke sheher mein ghar mera ho gaya / in the city of your heart, my home is made) and just... hmmm.... leaving your mark.... making a house into a home..... when the marks a child inevitably leaves behind (messes, scribbles, and in this case stickers) eventually fade away as they grow older and you're left with the memories stored in what hasn't been erased....
im not verbalizing it very well but catch my drift?
#ive been very much into the introspective / character analysis type comics recently#so they always end up a little heavy LOL#to be fair tho i was gonna make it angsty but i didnt so. youre welcome <3#spy x family#my art#loid forger#sxf#anya forger#sxf loid#sxf anya
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you said you were stuck in a time loop, which was fine. i feel like late-stage capitalism has us all in a time loop, ammiright? you came barging in at 5:33. in the morning. i hadn't even processed the idea of coffee.
but you had this look of utter panic in your eyes. terror like the ocean. you grabbed my cheeks. im in a time loop.
i don't know why in movies the first reaction is to deny it. when someone is panicking like that, it's not appropriate to ask them to calm down. it didn't matter if i believed it, what mattered was that you believed it so much that it was consuming you.
so here we are. i pour you some of the dark roast. "you look like utter and entire hell," i say.
you push your fingers into your eyes. "you always say that."
i try to think of something funny to say that i wouldn't have said on previous time loops, but jokes don't land without the proper timing (lol). "remind me to think -"
"-yeah, of a joke that only works in the future. and before you say anything, i know you're pissed i just stole your punchline." you bolt the coffee, which is wild. it's very hot. you don't seem to notice.
i blow on mine to cool it down. i both am very pissed at you and also i can't see you in this amount of panic without wanting to help. but i'm also not really sure what we are, not since i saw you kiss her like that, no offense. it just was like, kind of rude when you knew i liked you.
and besides. i'm just like, barely a person. i write omegaverse fanfiction. i love the concept of a time loop, but what the fuck am i gonna do? send an alpha in there? i open my mouth.
you point at me. "you're about to ask why me. and then say some disparaging shit about yourself. i'm just a nerd who plays dnd or something. that self-own is slightly different each time." you sigh. "i know you think you can't really help me. i don't know who can help me. i only came to you because you fucking believe me." you check your watch, sigh, and throw your head back. you cover your eyes with one hand. "i've come here on 26 separate revolutions," you say. "you have believed me every time. and yeah, i have no idea how you fit into this but i just -" you sigh again. "i just like fucking talking to someone about it."
"do you need more cof-" i start, but you're already holding the empty cup out. i frown at it. "you're not getting any more until you promise not to bolt this one like an animal."
you laugh a little and sit up, pushing your hair out of your face. "okay, that's new dialogue. but to be fair to you, i'm not usually this rude. i'm still pretty new at all of this." you check your watch again. another sigh. i guess you're cruising for a personal best in the Sigh Olympics.
i almost tell you im not an NPC but i've played enough video games to know i'm very much an NPC. i pour you another cup. "so what happens in the loop?"
"really bad explosion." you mutter into the mug. you put your elbows on the table (rude) and bury your face in your arms like an angsty teenager. one hand floats up while you talk, because evidently you literally can't talk without your hands. "i have to save the day and there's this bomb and i have no bomb training and it keeps moving, you know."
"do i die?"
you peek up from your arms. "yeah. bigtime. you keep trying to run or stay or do anything and you always super die."
"oh."
"to be fair, like, everyone dies in it though.... so you're in good company."
i hate that you make me laugh. i hate that being around you always feels tingly and strange, this electric tension between us. something that is evidently (given how you stuck your tongue down a stranger's throat literally 3 days ago) (well. 3 for me) super one-sided. i take a sip of my coffee and close my eyes.
i die today, i guess. a little spark of panic starts at the top of my hands and starts whipping up my wrists.
"shit," you say. you look at your watch and jump to your feet. "i have to go. if i can come back, i will. i am still trying to figure out when is best to do everything, you know? the order of stuff. maybe morning isn't good for us."
i look up at you and think about how you keep kissing me in the back of my car and in alleyways and in the dark. and i can never fucking get a read on you. and i also think about how incredibly panicked you look. how broken. how long have you been doing this? "i don't want to die," i say.
you glance downwards. "well, you're not really dead, you'll come back in the loop."
"but i will have died." my hands are shaking. i am trying really hard to stay calm.
you push your hands through your hair again. "i really have to go. i will have this discussion with the next version of you, though. it is like, something i am thinking about."
"but i don't get a next version," i say. i don't really have the language for this, because i haven't had 26 tries with you. i only have my memories: you, a week ago. drunk and telling me you loved me in my ear. you, kissing her anyway. you, months ago, throwing up on my birthday, whispering to me i ruin everything i touch, always, over and over. please don't ask. i can't ever fucking have that be you.
i run my finger along the rim of the mug. "i don't want to die in this one."
you seem baffled by this. "i get that but - time will reset, you'll be fine, you won't even remember we talked about this."
"but i know now." i stand up too. "i have to live the rest of this day knowing i could die. knowing i probably am going to."
"you could always die, to be fair."
i feel my hands get out of control. "earlier, you said i always say a different insult about myself. what if you're just going through different parallel universes and those are all just different - but real - versions of myself? what if you're not in a time loop, you're in a fucking universe loop?"
"if it helps, i've wondered this too. also, you're hot in all of them. if that helps."
i point at you. "no flirting. i'm trying to figure out if i die today."
"who's flirting?" you catch my wild hands and give me that long, perfect smile. like we're in this together. "i won't let ya die." you check your watch and sigh again. "well. maybe not this time."
i grit my teeth. you are so not making quips at me while i try to explain the existential dread i'm having. "does the time loop reset if i fucking kill you?"
"honestly i don't know how long it continues after i die, because i just wake up. it could be that the loop goes until the explosion for everyone, and we're all in the loop, or it could be that when i die, the loop restarts. when i die i wake up, is all."
i pull away from you and stalk into the kitchen and start doing all 3 of my dishes. "okay, first, you know i was joking. and secondly, this is exactly my point. you don't know if this is just a parallel universe. maybe in the ones where you died, the explosion happened and nobody reset and it's just you travelling." i have to stop and push the heel of my palm into my eyeball. "... how often have you died?"
i look at you. you look at me. you give me this very sad, halfway smile and a little what can ya do shrug. something in that action seems so old and weary that i want to burst into tears.
"i have to go," you say. "really. for real. there's this family of five i save from getting into a car crash. and i know it's like oh but we're all gonna die in the explosion anyway, what's the point. and..." you shrug again. "it matters to me, is all. at least i saved them for now. at least i saved anything."
you pad over to me and wrap me in a tight hug. you always seem so tall against me. i feel your cheek rest against the top of my head for a moment. for a second, it's just us, and the space is warm, and my heart is a little broken hare.
you leave me there, and i stand in my stupid badly lit kitchen with my stupid mugs. i think about you. i start texting my mom that she needs to get out of the city, but it feels pointless.
i don't know what to do. tomorrow is the same day for you. but i have to prepare to die in my today.
#warm up#prose#i just realized that there's a horror film in there about being someone NOT in a loop.#if i wanted to make it longer i'd have them come back like SUPER battered and hellish.#on round like 999#like halfway through lunch like - YOU . I LOVE U . IM SORRY . I RUINED IT BC I LOVE U CANT U SEE THAT#but like. yeah man what happens when someone else in control of ur destiny#what happens to all the versions of u that DO die...#i also wanted a pre-redemption time looper - this person#(who in my brain is they/them)#is absolutelyyyyyy toying with the narrator bc the time looper is caught up in like#an emo angsty '' i can't have what i want bc i ruin things'' self harm spiral#and like literally the way out of that spiral is to TRY bud.#but this is a person pre-redemption. still kind of an ass. still not really listening to her#still a little bit ignoring that they kissed someone 3 days ago#still KNOWS she likes them and DOES like her back. but is just too chickenshit still.#we're talkin that person we've ALL dated that's like ''i can't be with u anymore bc i am Too Broken and I Can't Stand Hurting U"#... i imagine they grow up tho. eventually.
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Doomed from the beginning
Unknown / Marguerite Duras / Blanca Varela / Ramona Ausubel / Anne Carson / Heather Havrilesky / Michael Cunningham / Lisel Mueller / Richard Siken x Dungeon Meshi by Ryoko Kui
#my tragic sweetie pie elf girl you will always be famous#i want to study her under a microscope#maybe ill make a nice and not angsty web weave next of farcille#we will see#but for now have this im going tf to sleep#marcille<3#marcille donato#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#dungeon meshi spoilers#my posts#web weaving
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#i lov making angsty kris art#maybe not...#deltarune#deltarune fanart#kris dreemurr#kris deltarune#utdr#art#fanart#tw#strangling
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i am Locked In.
#i have to say. i'm not NOT enjoying the divorce.#jlo's pulling the same shit i make the beatles and their wives pull in the angsty horrid love triangle char study fics i write#i'll just say that#old man yells at cloud
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i had this thought for a while about how convenient it is that of all the fenton inventions it is the shields that do not work on danny :)
#suretterim#danny phantom#danny fenton#maddie fenton#jack fenton#i had way more fun with the background than the characters this time and it is so weird#anyway#the first person who finds the secret gets to make an art request :D#hint: it is a tangentially angsty secret
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twins in time continuation of that blue doodle comic thingy, but fidd is forced to take care of stan when Ford gets into the portal stuff, leaving him behind.
I reckon he teaches him mathâŠ
#Iâm realising you meant to make it MORE angsty up in here and lemme say I love how your brain works#I have yet to decide how ford getting stuck in the portal works with this au#Iâm getting more and more into it I might need to actually sit down and flesh it out smh#but yknow fidds being a dad and all#I dunno maybe having lil Stanley around makes him stick around ford for longer#or maybe he just yoinks him outta there bc ford should NOT be around a kid in that state#more accurately bill shouldnât be around kidsâŠ#OOOGH THOUGHTS!!!#my art#ask#twins in time au#stan pines#ford pines#stanford pines#stanley pines#fiddleford mcgucket#gravity falls
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they share a braincell
#cult of the lamb#digital art#cotl#cotl lamb#art#doodles#cotl fanart#cotl goat#not a ship post#bonk#why are y'all making this goat so serious and angsty#goats are a sheeps crackhead cousin
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There is no stopping a star from burning itself out of the night sky
Words taken from - you can love him, but you canât keep him (Sylvie j.p.)
#my art#mdzs#the untamed#wei wuxian#lan wangji#comic#hi everyone I'm back after 2 years to inflict more pain upon the mdzs fandom#I simply love finding beautiful angsty writing and setting it to mdzs content#thanks to everyone who's interacted with my other comic I love waking up and seeing tags like 'what is wrong with you OP' and 'eating glass#what fan art will I make next who knows not me#maybe I'll finish my animatic. maybe I'll work on that major arcana set I've had on the backburner for 3 years
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