#MY POOR HEARTRATE

[beiowzero]

⠀‖⠀I laid down to relax over stressing about a comm not turning out how I want it to all day and the millisecond my back touched the mattress my discord exploded with people, some I haven't spoken to in months, sending me the okami sequel news.⠀oh my god

[castjinx]

wait this is rlly bad i can fuciinghg SEE sound.

oh fcuk fuck meeee i'm high on caffeine agaiun. wooooo. at least i'm not in danger of relentlessly flirting with sammy this time

[senzasord]

Nick Podany has a new EP out and i am LOSING MY SHIT ITS SO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[the-great-donatello]

It makes 'em say the opposite of what they mean. -Beetle

Alright. I need a minute to calm down.

[gatorbites-imagines]

Whitebeard fucker here lol I’ve been summoned. Could you write something with a reader whose used to being the biggest guy around meeting whitebeard and going “ohhh” and wanting to climb that man like a tree? Any and all kinks are up to your choosing monsieur gator!! Also happy birthday man!

Edward “Whitebeard” Newgate x male reader

Headcanons

Bit my lip so fucking hard when I saw this request. Whitebeard enjoyers come assemble!

Thanks for the birthday wish :) I ended up getting a lot of comics and manga, so I’m very happy.

Reader possesses a devil fruit I made up I call the sun-sun Fruit. Hes also like 16 ft 9. Hes also at least 40+ years old. Old man yaoi.

You had known of Whitebeards existence ever since you started traveling the sea, who didn’t? The guy was a legend known as the strongest man alive, someone to avoid if you did the type of business you did.

You were a bit of an everything man. Information gathering, Intimidation, bodyguarding, assassin, anything that paid you a lot and you didn’t have to hurt the innocent, Youd do it.

The world government were cautious of you, but always let you get away with things others wouldn’t, as you also took jobs for them if need be. You played on every board, siding with pirates, with marines, with the poor, and with the rich. As long as they had good reason for asking for your help.

Your Sun-Sun fruit always helped with this as well, making you an extremely powerful fighter, possessing the ability to gather and store solar energy and light itself. After mastering it you could easily create explosions big enough to destroy islands, coat your body in solar energy, or coat your weapons, as well as many other things.

Your preferred weapon were spears, your most beloved weapon a naginata that had been gifted to you after a job well done, some celestial who fanboyed over pirates wanting to give you a big reward. The naginata was supposedly cursed, but you two got along a little too well most days.

All in all, you were well known in your own circles, but nowhere near as much as someone like Whitebeard.

That was also the reason you turned down your latest request to kill Whitebeard. You might have been strong, but you were never an idiot. You might have stood at almost 17 feet, towering over anyone you had ever met, but even you know Whitebeards crew was so loyal it was lethal.

The people giving you the request has been annoyed about you rejecting it, but they could do nothing to stop you as you left, on your way to the next island. There was never a destination in mind if you didn’t have a contract, so you just called it joy sailing.

It was mere coincidence that you found yourself sailing through Whitebeards territory. You had no need for a crew, as you had mastered the skill to create stand-ins with your sun-sun fruit, creating human shaped beings out of condensed solar energy.

The ship you traveled in wasn’t too big either, especially compared to the moby dick. But they had easily spotted you, and your “crew” had spotted them in return. For some reason the whitebeard crew were interested in you, though their interest made your heartrate skyrocket as the moby dick neared your own much smaller ship.

When it became clear they weren’t there to fight, you agreed to link up your ships, even if it was just because you knew they could end you before you would be able to run for it.

Stepping onto the ship, part of you was curious at their lack of reaction to your towering height, even as they had to turn their heads all the way back to look at you to ask questions about your “light crew”, or one of them demanding to know what your favorite food was, or where you got your naginata.

When you finally met Whitebeard though, it all made sense. The guy made even you feel small, even though he wasn’t towering over you the same way you were the rest of his crew. Maybe it was his presence, as he laughed and patted you on the back, greeting you by the nickname the masses called you.

But all you could think about was how seeing someone taller than you made you feel. Just feeling his large hand patting your shoulder, or seeing how he was still taller than you when you sat, was enough for you to think about booking it again.

You had no idea why, but for some reason you stuck around with the Whitebeard crew for a while. To the point where they started acting like you were part of the crew. Even when you tried to turn it down, they’d just give you a knowing look before ignoring your complaints.

In your opinion, you were too old to join someone’s crew, especially with you being known as a “backstabber”, as you never picked one specific side.

And yeah, you knew why you were sticking around for so long. It was all Whitebeard, and that weird, fluttering feeling he gave you, and the arousal he caused, but that was not as important…for the most part.

It was only after the crew had settled on the island to restock that you thought about leaving for real. One of your contacts had called you on your den den mushi, and told you about a very high paying job. You might have been so rich your ancestors would live in luxury, but you could never get enough.

Unluckily for you, Whitebeard had overheard the call. He had looked sad about you wanting to leave, but had invited you to join him for a drink before you packed up and went on your way.

That’s how you found yourself sitting beside him in front of a bonfire, just the two of you, both of you decently buzzed and flushed. Your devil fruit power made you mostly immune to alcohol, the heat of the sun burning the alcohol away before it could work, but whatever stuff Whitebeard had on him seemed to have the right kick.

Later you would blame the alcohol for your reaction when Whitebeards hand settled on your lower back. You had abandoned your jacket a while ago, some of Whitebeards crew running off with it to use it for some drunk game they were playing.

Your devil fruit also worked best without too much clothes in the way, meaning Whitebeards hand was right on your back, and your thirsty self had arched into it with a soft groan, your head flopping to the side to rest against him.

Whitebeard had chuckled, but it wasn’t his usual loud guffaw, but something deeper and smoother, like melted dark chocolate or the best whiskey you had ever drank.

His hand had rubbed and massaged your back until you felt like putty, small sparks of light and solar energy flickering across your torso as your control slipped, Whitebeard huffing amusedly at the small jolts it sent through his arm.

You would blush in the future when thinking about it, denying it ever happened, before blaming the alcohol once more. But in that moment, it was impossible to not spill all the thoughts you had about him. How he made you feel so hot inside, how much you fantasied about him, his hands, his height, his cock.

Whitebeard had seemed almost charmed, and maybe he was. It wasn’t every day that someone his age and especially his size had someone fawning over them. Maybe that was why he pulled you into his lap, with your back resting against his chest, as his battle worn hands traveled across the front of your torso.

He murmured and purred into your ears as one of his large, calloused hands groped and pinched at one of your pecs, making you gasp and arch into the touch, legs jolting until his other hand came down to hold your thigh in place.

The praise falling from his lips had you feeling much drunker than you were, vision blurring for a second before you were able to focus again, your own hands grasping at his pantleg as you huffed out a breath.

The veins across your body lit up every now and then from the stored solar energy in your body flickering, causing Whitebeard to chuckle that deep chuckle once more, making some comment about that being a nice party trick.

You were about to snap back a rebuttal, something rude about his own devil fruit power, but before the words could even leave you, the hand gripping your thick slid under your waistband.

Embarrassment flooded your system as you keened, head falling back onto his chest as your hips jolted. And how crazy was that? He was so tall your head fall onto his chest, not his shoulder, not above his own head, his chest.

It had your throbbing even more, immediately coating his palm in a layer of precum, making Whitebeard tsk teasingly, before rubbing the palm against the head of your sensitive shaft, only making you drip even more.

What could you say. You were sensitive. Being your size made it pretty hard to find a partner who could keep up with you, or someone you wouldn’t hurt on accident. And as your fame grew, less and less individuals even wanted to give it a try.

That was why you were keening and whimpering in Whitebeards lap like some kind of virgin, at least that’s what you told yourself to keep your dignity.

It didn’t explain the way you jolted and spilled into his hand when Whitebeard grabbing your chin, turning your head so he could kiss you. Your eyes rolled back, and solar energy flashed across your body as you came, gasping into his mouth, your breath so hot It would have harmed anyone not as sturdy as Whitebeard.

With his lips still pressed against yours he mumbled praise, telling you stuff that had you melting even further into his embrace, hips still jolting and twitching into his hand like you didn’t want it to end.

As you rolled your hips you could feel his own erection, and you almost wanted to pass out from just how big he felt. You had never met anyone who was bigger than you in that way, yet here Whitebeard was, pretty much offering it to you on a silver platter.

The night was spent with Whitebeard wringing more than just a couple of orgasms out of you, at some point leaving you so overstimulated and pleasured that your body had phased out, turning into solar energy.

Whitebeard had cackled loudly at the sight, seeing how you were in so much pleasure you couldn’t even stay solid. When you finally came back to yourself, he placed a big kiss on your cheek and then your mouth, making some teasing comment about it all.

The next morning you couldn’t look his crew in the eye, the knowing looks boring into your large broad back, that for once was wearing a shirt, to cover most of the hickeys their captain had left on you.

And if you just so happened to turn down the job offer your informant gave you, and if you just so happened to attach your ship to their fleet, and you just so happened to start being referred to in the same parental way as Whitebeard, who would be the wiser.

You honestly had no idea how to react when Whitebeards, and you guessed now your, crew started referring to you with a fatherly title in the same way they called Whitebeard Pops. You hadn’t wanted to be open about your relationship with Whitebeard, but to the crew it was so damn obvious.

Even when you and Whitebeard became official, and maybe even married at some point, you still took jobs every now and then, never getting enough of the thrill of money. But it was a lot less, and you pretty much cut all contact with the world government.

Sure, that got you a bounty and a high reward, but you honestly couldn’t care. After all this time you realized, maybe a crew wasn’t so bad. It also helped to have a partner that made you feel safe and cared for, whilst also leaving you limping in the best possible way.

[skzstannie]

"My Soulmate"

SKZ -> Hyunjin x fem!reader

genre: slight angst, crack, vampire/soulmate AU wc: ~2,200 cw: none

summary: being kidnapped and brought to your vampire soulmate is something you never knew you needed... until now.

A/N: Hello again! Life's been crazy, and I've actually had this written since forever ago, so I decided to go ahead and edit and post it! Hope you enjoy :)

Alsoooo, I survived the Ticketmaster war and was able to snag some SKZ tickets to the Chicago show!!!

Happy Scrolling! | Masterlist

"Please be careful. That area is so sketchy, especially at night. Infested with those dastardly vampires, I'll tell ya."

"Mom, I'm fine. The bus station is only a mile down the road, and I'm almost there," you speak into the phone.

Your mom gives a disappointed sigh from the other end. "Sweetie, I've heard so many stories of girls going missing on that street. I really wish you would've listened to me and taken a different way home."

"I've always taken this way home from work; why are you so worried about it now?" The more you speak with your mom, the more paranoid you become. All the shadows out of the corner of your eye appear as humans, lurking behind buildings and in alleyways.

"Because a girl was killed just last week walking around down there, not to mention she was by herself. Just like you!" she screeches over the line. You have to pull the phone away from your head to protect your poor eardrums. "It was a gang that took them! What was their name again? Stray dogs? Stray... Stay? I can't remember."

"It's Stray Kids, mom. I'm sure they're not even around these parts anymore now that the cops are looking for them."

Too focused on your surroundings rather than the ground beneath you, you trip and fall over a large lip in the sidewalk. Your body hits the ground, and you immediately clutch your knee. Your legs are littered with scrapes and scratches, but your knee in particular has blood dripping down it. Pieces of dirt cover your skin, unpleasantly sticking to your wound and the oozing blood.

You startle from the sudden cold breeze you feel over your shoulder. You turn abruptly, hissing when your leg rubs against the ground. Another gust of wind brushes past your front, and you're quick to twist around again. Your heartrate picks up at the eeriness of the situation, your hands turning clammy.

Suddenly, a being materializes in front of you. A scream catches in your throat when another appears next to him. Both are dressed in normal clothing, albeit entirely black in appearance, the only color emitting from the two beings in front of you coming from their pale skin. It's almost sparkling under the glow from the streetlights.

They stand and stare for a moment, and the silence is palpable. As you make eye contact with them, you take notice of their eye color- a deep, fiery red. You feel as though you’re in a hypnotic state as you continue to stare into their eyes. Your surroundings become blurred the longer you look, and you begin to feel dizzy as the world around you begins to spin.

You can faintly hear your mom screaming at you through your phone, calling out for you with panic in her voice, but you can't seem to look away from the boys in front of you.

The dizzier you feel, the calmer you become. It's a weird sensation, feeling all your anxiety and fear just slipping from you. The last thing you see is the muscular man in front of you approaching before you close your eyes from the exhaustion. It came out of nowhere, but it's all-consuming as all thoughts leave your head, and you're left their laying limp and vulnerable.

~ ~ ~

Your eyes feel heavy as you open them, and the bright lights are blinding as they invade your vision. Reaching up to rub your eyes, you quickly realize that your arms are tied behind your back. Becoming aware of your surroundings, you feel the cool plastic chair beneath you. Looking down, you see the zip ties around each of your ankles, anchoring you to the chair.

You appear to be tied up in a cell of some sort. Black, solid bars seal you off from the outside of the room. The cell is small, only about 8 ft by 8 ft if you had to guess. The floor is nothing special, just some concrete. While you can't see much from where your seated in the corner, the room around you seems empty and cold. A desk sits in the middle with a few stacks of paper on top.

Your eyes tear up at your predicament as the memories of the men dressed in all black come back to you. Question upon question spring into your head; where'd they come from? Where'd they bring you? What do they want from you?

Your worries seem to multiply by the second, and you are filled with dread as you consider the possibilities.

You know you must look amess as sweat starts to pool on your forehead, not only from the temperature of the room but also the imminent danger present upon you. Tears stream freely down your cheeks as you desperately pull at the zip ties holding you hostage.

A door creaks open while in the middle of your struggle, and you freeze. Voices fill the open space, and your mouth runs dry at the thought of meeting your captor.

"I told you, we won't be getting our next shipment of blood for another couple weeks. You're just gonna have to hold off-" the voice cuts off as the man walks around the corner. He makes eye contact with you. He shares the same eye color as the men that took you, but you know from the facial features that this isn't the same one.

The man heaves a sigh, his eyes never leaving yours. "I've gotta call you back," he says before hanging up the phone. Without uttering another word, the man walks back out of the room, leaving you alone with your thoughts once again.

It feels as if hours have gone by the next time you hear the door open. This time, cries of pain fill the silent void. You become alert at that, straightening up in your seat. Curiosity fills your gaze as you’re welcomed with the man from earlier, this time accompanied by two more.

The two men are being dragged by their ears, which appears uncomfortable if the sounds of pain are anything to go by.

The man from earlier releases them once they are standing right outside your cell.

"Explain yourselves," he says, crossing his arms over his chest.

Both men start talking over each other immediately, making it impossible to understand either one. "One at a time you pabos!" he interrupts them, creating an uncomfortable silence.

The buff one, which you now recall as one of the accomplices to your kidnapping, gestures roughly to the other man. Taking this as his cue to explain, he begins, "We swear she's the right one this time!" His words are rushed as he gestures towards you.

"You're kidding," the man in charge says, bringing his fingers to grasp at the bridge of his nose. "We've already been over this. You two can't keep kidnapping women from off the streets just because you believe them to be Hyunjin's soulmate."

Your heart races as your brought into the discussion. Soulmate?

You've heard of soulmates, but only ever in fiction, like books and movies. From what you've read, vampires are the only beings who can initiate the soulmate bond. Thereafter, the human can feel the bond, as well.

Suddenly, the pieces fall perfectly into place as you consider all the factors. Materializing out of nowhere, the red eyes, the hypnosis. These guys are vampires. How you didn't put it together sooner, you're not sure.

The bravery you're hit with is astounding, and you can't hold yourself back from interrupting the conversation. "Who are you guys and what do you want from me?" The man's rambling stops as all three look to you.

"Hi..." the man rambling starts, "I'm Jisung, and this is Lee Know and Changbin. We've brought you here because we believe you're our friend's soulmate."

"Please just let me go. I promise not to tell anyone about this!" you plead. You don't know what being the soulmate of a vampire entails, but you surely don't want to find out.

"Oh, we can never let you go," the man in charge, Lee Know, answers. "You've seen us, experienced our presence. You either have to stay with us, or... well, we kill you. You can thank these idiots for that," he gestures to Jisung and Changbin. Jisung brings his hand up to the back of his neck, rubbing it awkwardly.

You let out a sob at the ultimatum. You don't want to stay here forever. You want to go home, shower, and complain to your mom about work. You want to call your best friend and talk to her about the cute guy that you saw. The thought of never being able to do those things again envelopes you with sorrow, and more prominently, fear.

"Please don't cry," Jisung says, his hands coming up around the bars of the cell. "We would never want Hyunjin's soulmate to be sad."

"Jisung, we don't even know if this is his soulmate," Changbin says, his gaze piercing the side of your face.

"I'll prove it to you," he says before running out of the room, the door slamming behind him.

"I swear, I will kill both of you if this isn't the right girl. You said that the time before this was the last, and I'm getting tired of hiding dead bodies," Lee Know tells Changbin.

The hair on the back of your neck stands up, and you suddenly really hope you are this guy's soulmate. While this doesn't sound like the greatest of situations, at least if you live you'll get a chance to escape.

Changbin and Lee Know talk amongst themselves, and your anxiety starts to build once more.

~ ~ ~

It feels as if hours have gone by the time there's movement outside your cell again. Changbin and Lee Know, having gotten tired of standing, had taken a seat on the couch towards the back of the room, busying themselves on their phones.

You're still stuck in the same position. You've been wriggling your hands around, but you've realized there's no use in trying to escape. The two men would surely notice if the zip ties came undone, and even if they didn't, you're still stuck in this cell. You don't know what lies outside this room, but you're scared to find out.

You finally hear the door swing open, and you recognize Jisung's voice, this time accompanied by another stranger. The two come into view, and your breath hitches in your throat when your eyes meet the man Jisung brought with him.

He is easily the most beautiful man you've ever seen. His eyes meet yours, and you're immediately captivated, unable to look away. It's a strange feeling, but you suddenly feel all the worry and fear being washed from you, leaving you with a feeling of peace and serenity. It's almost like you've known this man for years, the way he brought you immediate comfort in this unfamiliar place.

"My soulmate," he whispers, and at this point you can only assume this is the 'Hyunjin' they were talking about.

In the blink of an eye, he materializes in front of you, now inside the cell. He quickly brings his hands towards you, and you feel no fear. The dread that once filled your body is no more as you allow him to carefully undo the zip ties from around your wrists and ankles.

Tears still slip down your cheeks, but the emotional pain you once felt is no more. You're overcome with unfamiliar emotions, and the tears don't stop.

You feel as if you recognize Hyunjin from your dreams. Always the hero, saving you from whatever dangers are out there for waiting for you.

Once the zip ties are off, you immediately rise to your feet and reach out to hold him. He embraces you even tighter, his arms wrapping firmly around your exhausted figure.

"This is such a strange feeling, but I feel at peace now," you whisper to him, your head resting on his shoulder.

"It's because we're together. The soulmate bond, I initiated it, and you've accepted it," he whispers back. "We can be together now."

"Have I seen you before?" you ask, taking a step back to admire his beautiful features.

"Maybe in your dreams. I've visited you there before. I've known what you looked like for a long time. That's how these guys found you," he says, gesturing behind him to Jisung and Changbin.

"Yea, and it only took us two tries! Do you know how vague of a description I had to go off of?" Jisung complains.

"Because I didn't expect you to go out and try to find her!" Hyunjin exclaims, exasperated.

"Well, I figured since your birthday was coming up, I could do something nice for you. And it only costed us one casualty!"

"Which I'm still dealing with, by the way," Lee Know says.

"Yea, yea. I just had a gut feeling about it this time."

[the-habitat-ring]

Okay, you all know I love my wrens but coming home to one *in my house* was not what I expected in the slightest

No clue how it got inside. I had left work early due to my heartrate being 140+ all day and as soon as I opened the door I could tell something was wrong because the cats were all losing their minds. My spouse had to come home and help me get the poor thing out without letting the cats escape

[moodymisty]

Sorry for this 5am longpost. I just got jolted awake by a really intense nightmare and while waiting for my heartrate to chill, I had a daydream vaguely based on your tag about Sanguinius being down bad for Horus lover. I hope this doesn't get cut off by tumblr due to length.

Mortarion is my favorite right now, and of course the fungus took over. I am a sucker for a cynical bastard falling for someone who secretly has a heart of gold despite appearances.

I was thinking of Horus' lover being a princess for her foreign planet, but she's unknowingly a low level psyker or something. Somehow, someway, she can always without fail tell when a person lies. This sort of thing plagues her life terribly, everyone from the lowest servant to the most noble lord constantly lying straight to her face and she has to try and not show that she knows.

Horus is the one to conquer her planet, and a situation like Fulgrim and his wives happens where she is offered to him for marriage, as is typical on her world. She is silently a bit miserable, she is now a prop to a man's ambition(as having a wife would probably make Horus seem more human, more relatable, making him less 'other' to baseline humans and he would be very aware of that) and watching him lie to so many people's faces at big events, or even political talks, is just soul-crushing to her.

At some big Terran event different primarchs are taking turns meeting Horus' new wife, and telling plenty of fibs about how excited they are to meet her, how lovely she looks, so on. And then she meets Mortarion.

I am new to the books so far, but Mortarion seems so blunt. Like he doesn't waste the effort to lie. And I feel like that may be one of the (many) things that made him difficult to get along with, even for his brothers.

I am autistic, not entirely high functioning, and lying is difficult to me. I can't do it well at all. So I don't bother. And boy do I know that people hate when you're truthful with them. So maybe I am projecting onto him lol.

So Mortarion bluntly says some rude but truthful comment to her, like "This is a waste of time." the room gets quiet, and instead of being angry she SMILES. She thinks it is genuinely impressive he just said exactly what was on his mind despite the expectations placed on him. And in front of such a crowd, too.

At some point, a serving person does an oopsie and drops a drink, some of it getting on her, and Mortarion is just stanking it up in the corner waiting to see her berate the poor soul. Typical entitled nobility.

But she gently reassures them, and even goes so far as to help them wipe up the little mess. He's surprised, but his cynical side wins out and he just files it away as her pretending to be kind.

In the future, at another event she is sitting alone and brooding in the gardens a bit tipsy from wine. Morty has the same idea to escape the banquet and notices her. They have a heart-to-heart about how fake their lives feel, having to put on little shows and shows of force for social gatherings and parades. How the upper classes are all snakes lying to each other, and ruining the lives of regular people in their little games.

After seeing she isn't just a spoiled little girl with her head in the clouds putting on airs, that she laments the suffering of the "lower" classes, maybe he starts catching feelings.

This is as far as I got lol. My brain skipped ahead to Mortarion being uncharacteristically deferential with her at some other big gathering, like getting down on one knee to gently take her hand and greet her and his brothers all being flabbergasted. The drama would be hilarious. It'd be like an extra middle finger to Horus especially. Fulgrim would have a field day.

The extra angst of Morty finding out she is a low level psyker would also be interesting! He'd be struggling to reconcile the monstrous image he has of psykers with the gentle nature of his lover.

ANYWAY I got strangely inspired!! I've never written anything just for fun before, so I know I wouldn't be good at it, but maybe I'll try? It's like I've got this thing in my brain screeching at me to at least attempt it lol.

(By the way, I hope the crazy weather yesterday missed you! That shit was scary.)

This is fantastic, I fucking love this. I've been wanting to write more for Mortarion but I struggle to find a good idea sometimes, this is really really good. I also think that Morty wouldn't have the energy or care to lie, and that seeing someone who doesn't flaunt their stature, and even treats him kindly would make him catch feelings.

I've already gone so off the rails doing random writings that I held myself back from doing this one, but once i get a few more requests done I hope you don't mind if I come back and write this. Unless you wish to keep it only to yourself ;3

the worst of the weather missed me, but it was still pretty intense, the wind was like 60mph. i hope you were safe as well!

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

hi! you've been posting about using corsets to manage dysautonomic symptoms lately, and i was wondering if you had any insight into the action mechanisms behind how that helps/advice for what types of corsets to look for and what sensations to be aiming for in your body when using them as a mitigation?

i have a bunch of dysautonomia/potential POTS symptoms (episodes of racing heartrate and lightheadedness, usually helped somewhat by keeping my feet elevated and often tied to barometric pressure changes or doing A Lot Of Stairs Daily for extended periods, really poor temperature regulation and inability to function when im overheated, constantly freezing extremities, coathanger pain and extreme constant muscle tension in my neck/shoulders, an innate need to be constantly guzzling water, the list goes on and on), and ive been doing some really basic research into corsetry for fashion silhouette reasons lately anyway. if i could combine the fashion items i'm eyeing up anyway with a functional disability aid, that would be... some of the most awesome shit i've ever encountered? lol.

(no obligation to answer, of course, i don't expect you to like, be willing to give something adjacent to medical advice to an internet stranger, but if you want to ramble at length about this topic, i'd be greatly helped by the information! either way, sending solidarity your way and i hope the Horrors retreat again for a time soon.)

Oh gosh, let me be very clear. I DO NOT RECOMMEND CORSETRY FOR DYSAUTONOMIA

What is MEDICALLY recommended for many dysautonomia patients, including POTSies like my cousin, or OH long haulers like me is COMPRESSION GARMENTS. Things like compression socks, gloves, joint braces, etc. The compression makes it harder for blood too pool downwards with gravity in your extremeties, which can also reduce the frequency of fainting spells for those of us with accompanying syncope. There are some GREAT ones available at most department stores for pretty cheap. Walmart fucking sucks, but they carry affordable copper lined compression gloves that i have been using with regularity for about 5 years now to manage blood-pooling/swelling and joint pain.

The additional problem I have (and critically the additional TRAINING that I have) is that on top of my condition meaning I'm unable to stay upright for extended periods without swooning, I have hypovolemia. There is just....sort of less blood in me???? Volume-wise at least. So when it pools, it leaves a much more oxygen deprived brain behind than it even would have without that. What's the medical intervention for this come to find out? Compression garments again!

Well, I've been making and wearing corsets since I was 12 so that's AWFULLY convenient lmao since buying one would mean either convincing a doctor to prescribe me a medical corset (my doctor doesn't like doing stuff like this due to my tendency for severe deconditioning) or saving up a few hundred dollars for someone who can construct an appropriately tailored daily-use corset.

Thank fuck I can just make one instead lol.

That said, I am actually planning to make the project into a visual process here on tumblr (maybe ravelry too) because I'm strongly on the side of knowledge being shared. I doubt there will be many who could make use of my exact plans, but maybe seeing how the process is built helps them anyway!

Here are my primary recommendations for using corsetry as compression garmentry in the meantime:

Due to the severity of my symptoms, and the limited nature of my current corsetry options, I have been intermittently "tight-lacing¹" throughout the day to retain cognitive function. For the love of fucking god, do not do this to yourself. Ensure that whatever corsetry you may purchase is able to be comfortably worn as compression garmentry with about a 1inch gap between the lacing panels rather than allowing the corset to be fully tight-laced shut.

Functional corsetry is largely intended to redistribute the weight of heavy layered outer clothing, which means it will have gussets for your hips to ensure they are not overly compressed. Lingerie corstry rarely does this, often ending at the wearing waist instead to avoid over-constriction of the hips. Whichever route you take is fine, and likely determined by what compression you may or may not need around your low back, but make sure that whatever design you choose allows for full hip movement/rotation

Compression corsetry can also double as a pretty fabulous frame for binding breast tissue or packing a fuller bra cup look into the chest, but if you do this INSIDE the corset rather than ADDED TO THE OUTSIDE and sealed internally into the corset by the outer fabric, it may change the compression function of the garment, so you will want to work with someone knowledgeable about which placements may work best for you.

You will need to learn how to breathe differently in a corset. I recommend looking into the breathing and vocal exercises that opera simgers use to train, as often they must be able to perform at high lung capacities in similarly structured garments. This will have the double effect of giving you additional resilience OUT of the corsets to passing out if you have syncope symptoms. When you know more about intentional breathwork, it becomes easier to alter your breath throughout the day to maintain cognitive functioning and balance/consciousness.

If you're going to use ANY compression garments for an orthostatic dysautonomia condition, I recommend doing a few things: buy a couple of the thing you're using, and then SEVERAL UNDER LININGS. This allows you to wear the outer compression garment daily for much longer before needing to trade out to your spare and wash the first. Just replace the liners each day. Also, keep your liners and compression garments in a small container by your bed with a full water bottle and some kind of portable electrolyte [I have a metal water bottle with a water filter pod in it so I can refill it at most water sources, and a small tupperware of a sodium and sodium bicarbonate 50/50blend in a little folding storage cube by my bed]. When you first wake up, your body is gonna really hate trying to re-regulate, and you're more likely to have rapid onset (as opposed to daily cumulative) symptoms of the condition. So before you stand up in bed, pop some electrolytes, drink at least 8oz of water, and strap into your compression garments before you actually stand up. This makes it easier for your body to move through regulation without you passing out suddenly for anyone who has fall risk flags like syncope. Lastly, keep a stimulent around for emergency blood pressure drops or days when you can't seem to regulate. Caffeine and prescription stimulents like Ritalin or Adderall are common (I get Ritalin already for ADHD, and it has substantially lowered my rate of falls), but there are other options out in the world too. Just. Don't fuck around with stimulents casually. They can be really critical for dysautonomia if you're dealing with a lot of it, because they're CNS-actors and tend to be regulating for us, but stimulents are, nonetheless, prone to some nasty side effects (known more than a few people who ended up with severe malnutrition issues or psychotic/manic episodes being induced and while those things are obviously things that can happen, and don't necessarily mean you should or should rule a support out, knowing your specific areas of risk when using a stimulent medication can be really important. If you need stimulents regularly to raise your BP and aren't already taking it for another reason, I'd recommend exploring BP raising meds for daily use with your doctor instead so you can save any stimulent use for when it's most urgent without having already accumulated risk factors.

I really wish I had more for you, but unfortunately treating and managing orthostatic conditions has been a nightmare for all of the 30yrs I've been diagnosed with one. It's getting better for sure, but it's still rough out there for us.

Ultimately, here's what I'll say: if you like corsets aesthetically, take the time to get yourself a really well made, tailored to you corset, and let the tailor know that you're looking for something that may be daily use. They'll balance out some of the more formal and rigid boning with enough flexibility that you should be safe wearing the corsets for up to 4-8hrs consequetively. And while I don't recommend jumping into the long haul right off, if you wear it for an hour and it's comfortable and you can think a little more clearly and you're moving faster than you're used to without toppling, maybe try it again for two hours next time. Never keep it on for longer than is comfortable, and let your body tell you what comfortable is going to look like. With time, as you get used to wearing it, it'll be easier to mark places you'd like more or less compression for future versions. As with any compression garment, make sure you have a comfortable underlining tho, or you'll have some hard-to explain marks on your skin after a few days.

[astralbulldragon13]

Arrigo Makes a Mistake

(This is a fanfic using an original character insert for the listener in Escaped Audio's 'New Jersey Rats' Series. Warning, there is some implied racism in this story, if that does not jive with you, feel free to skip. I completely understand)

Skyla Ghost Bear the Intern half-way listened to the conversation between Jean and Tricky Ricky, talking about the logistics needed to complete the job with the gold. It had been about a week since the incident with the Feds, and they were invited over again to 'talk shop', with the gold. Jean still was insistent on no one, not even the Bada Brothers knowing about that little incident.

Jean seemed a bit nervous when it came to inviting Skyla along, but she wouldn't say 'no' to some, really good, home-made Italian food. Even if it was in the company of the Cosa Nostra.

The only time she even got to have Italian food back home was when her Lala would take her and her siblings to the Olive Garden by the mall. This food was so much better, like comparing Taco John’s to authentic food from a real Hispanic household. 

‘But Taco Johns has potato ole’s,’ she joked mentally as she took a sip of the dry red that Ricky provided them to drink, trying not to scrunch her face at the taste. She was never a fan of dry wines, not even when they use them in church. ‘And Olive Garden has breadsticks and really fucking good salad.’

“Tell me, young intern,” Tricky Ricky spoke, looking up from his plate. “You know some about me, I don’t know some about you. Tell me about yourself.”

Jean glanced at his Intern with a fair amount of concern, hoping this wasn’t some attempt to dig up dirt to hold over them. 

Skyla offered him a calm, polite smile. This was a businesswoman’s smile, like a dagger wrapped in velvet, and Jean was able to decrease his heartrate at that. “Not much to me, sir. I’m from the midwest, came to New Jersey with hopes of experiencing a new life and seeing the ocean instead of the Missouri River. I will be receiving my degree shortly.”

“What kind of blood do you have in you?” 

Skyla’s business-smile tightened and her jaw tensed. Badabing and Badaboom looked at each other nervously, while Jean was almost worried that she may jump the table as Skyla had been very private about her ancestry, but she just picked up their wine glass. “I’m Plains Native American on my mother’s side, yes. We… aren’t particularly close

“What about your father?” Giovanni asked, eyeing the young individual.

She returned the look, her blue eyes unwavering, something uncommon amongst most who look the consigliere in the eye. “I never knew him. I know that he was an Irish exchange student, and that I have his eyes. That’s really all I know about him.”

Tricky Ricky nodded, finishing a bite of his food. “A shame, truly. He doesn’t know he has quite the intelligent child.”

Skyla laughed polietly, nodding in agreement with the old man’s words. “I thank you for your words, sir. I truly appreciate it.”

As dinner was wrapping itself up, Skyla excused herself to the restroom. After she washed and dried her hands, she reached into the inner pocket of her blazer to apply a fresh coat of her favorite red lipstick. It wasn’t some designer brand, but simple Maybelline New York #333, Hot Chase that she found in Wal-Mart at the age of seventeen. She popped the top off and twisted the tube up and paused, looking at the color, then her reflection with the faded color still on her lips and thought to her poor, scruffy superior. Skyla didn’t know why, but their mind went to him, his hair wild, his business-shirt un-tucked, and his pretty face covered in kissmarks in this shade of red. 

With a girlish giggle, Skyla applied the lipstick leaving a fresh and shiny coat. She twisted the spiral back down and re-capped her lipstick, sticking it back in their pocket. She undid her hair and retwisted it, pinning it again with her barrett, then walking out the door. 

To her surprise, she found Arrigo waiting outside the door, waiting for her. She drew up short, letting the door to the restroom close behind her. “Oh, Mister Belardi! You caught me a little by surprise there. Is there something I can do for you”

The so-called ‘Mafia Prince’ gave a smirk that Skyla supposed was meant to be seductive, but in truth it just made her skin crawl. “Yeah, uh… what are you doing after dinner?” 

His question sent up so many red flags it could have been used to decorate a rescue boat. Skyla returned to her business smile and tried to move past him. “I have some matters to attend to when I return to my apartment. Now, please excuse me, I do believe dessert was about to be served and I’ve been looking forward to that semifreddo all evening.”

“Or,” he said quickly, caging them with his arms on either side of her body. “You could, uh, come with me? I’m having a yacht party at the marina tonight.” Arrigo reached up with one perfectly manicured hand and stroked her cheek.

“I’ve, uh… never been with a girl like you. I mean, I’ve been with Indian girls before but not your kind of Indian, you know what I mean? Come on, why don’t you… try me on for size? I bet I could do better than that loser Jean. Come on, don’t you want a chance to really have some protection from the family?”

Skyla blinked and tilted her head down to look Arrigo in the eye. The young Belardi heir only stood at five feet, four inches, five foot, six with the help of the lifts in his shoes, while Skyla, being half Lakota, stood at five foot, nine inchest. Pair that with the fact she always wears four inch heels, she was towering over him, and he knew it. 

In response, the Intern decided to use the greatest power in their arsenal, the only gift her father gave her. She glared at Arrigo’s hazel eyes, and to him, looking into Skyla’s eyes was like looking into a stormy sea. 

A chuckle bubbled up from her lips, and she shook her head, almost incredulously. She looked up, and noticed Jean looking around the corner, his brown eyes burning. So, in response to the Princeling’s offer, Skyla place a hand on the arm that was caging her, and gently moved it out of the way, before moving aside and walking away from him, still chuckling, while adding a little sashay to her hips. “Hey, Unch, is everything alright?”

Jean blinked, trying to clear his head. This was something different, she usually called him something different in her mother-tongue, but it sounded similar to what they just called him. 

“Wh-Wha? Oh! Oh, right I, um, was coming to find you. I know how excited you were to have that semifreddo.”

Skyla just giggled and took his arm. “Come one then, let's go.” And they walked off back to the table. Jean glanced over his shoulder to look at Arrigo, who looked offended and rather confused, and just gave the little brat a shit-eating grin. 

[asexualbuthorny]

I’m a background character but the villain’s mine pt.7

CW: past abuse, reader is still and always a simp, Mendella is slightly more comfy, some time has passed since the marriage, future smut

Some time passed and Mendella slowly got used to living with (Name). The alpha was by all means not a bad husband, he did make mistakes and fumble around with his words and interactions but Mendella knew that the alpha had no bad intentions and took it upon himself to handle the quite frankly exhausting social situations with nobles and business partners as the omega was much more skilled in the socialite game. (Name) continued working on his businesses and making his famous crystal flowers. When he asked Mendella to come to his lab for the first time the poor omega almost fainted from excitement since he himself was a fan of science, magic and alchemy. Their life together was slow and peacefull, just like they both wanted. Mendellas family didn't bother contacting him and if any letters did come (Name) would take it uppon himself to read them and unfortunately most weren't kind in any way so the alpha would burn the letters and Mendella would never see them. The alpha knew that it wasn't the best course of action but he couldn't let those people hurt his beloved. Mendella hasn't seen (Names) family since the wedding but from their limited interractions he could gather that they were good people who loved their brother dearly. Despite knowing it was wrong Mendella couldn't help but be a little bitter about not having that kind of family. He didn't get to wallow on that thought for long as (Name) excitedly pulled him to the garden to show him the new finished "hang out" area he's been weirdly focussed on constructing....

The little building was nice, constructed like a mini home with three wooden walls and one glass one through which one could see the views outside. the floor was soft and littered with bag like cusshions stuffed with feathers which (Name) had called a "bean bag". There were also pillows and blankets scattered about. A shelf with books stood against a wall and in the opposite corner stood a small fireplace, seemingly heated by a magical flame. In the corner by the glass wall stood a small table which had snacks and drinks on it and in the other corber by that same wall stood a small shelf and table filled with art supplies, no doubt (Names) since the alpha had the uncommon hobby of drawing.... uncommon for an alpha but Mendella digressed. To the omega this place seemed like the perfect place for a nest. The thought invoked a warm feeling in the omegas chest but he quickly shook it away. 'Yeah right as if i will get anything but our wedding bed and a rough fucking when heat hits' Mendella thought bitterly even as a small part of him dared to hope that his husband was kind enough to at least be gentle. He didn't have much time to think as (Name) gently herded him to sit between the cushions and purred up a storm when the omega seemed to settle down. (Name) curled himself around Mendella and intertwined their tails together. The blonde couldn't help but let out a purr of his own.....

It was quiet for a while until name said those few words that sent Mendellas heartrate up.... "My family is coming to visit"....

"Oh gods"...

[chronically-j]

Introduction

Hi, I’m Jordan!

I’m 21, nonbinary, and my pronouns are she/they/he/it

below is my medical story so far!

so, I’d like to start with the fact that i have PTSD with chronic, dissociative features. this means i really don’t remember much from my childhood, so most will either be vague or will have been explained to me by others, so things may be a bit disjointed

All of my life, i’ve been sick in some way, but always mild enough to not need hospitalization (i consider myself very lucky for that, but part of it is also due to my family being poor and unable to get proper medical care sometimes). I’ve always had aches and pains daily and nausea was quite frequent, though not nearly as often as today. i was a very accident prone child, so much of my pain was attributed to that. ive also gotten daily headaches that come in cycles since i was a young child. i would get headaches for a few days at a time as a kid, then it would calm down for a few weeks/months, then begin again. as an adult, i know get them for weeks at a time, then i get breaks of a few days to a few months, then i repeats. i walked to school all through highschool, and every single day without fail id get insane hip/knee/foot pain, it would be hard to breath, my chest would hurt, and id get dizzy. i was diagnosed with asthma and vocal chord dysfunction at 16

in 2020/2021, i got covid. i cant remember if i was vaccinated at this point, but i believe i was. that week of hell started 6-9 months of hell. it was routine covid, no hospital involved thankfully, but afterwards, we found id either developed POTS/pots like symptoms (being assessed now) or the infection had made it worse. i was experiencing extreme dizziness, falls, a heart rate that would spike to 150 just for walking around. my joints also began getting worse faster. they already werent great, id had many times during school where my shoulders or hips would pop and hurt so bad all day, but they were worse. i also began getting nauseous daily, and soon i was throwing up daily. it got to a point where i couldnt eat or drink anything and my dr called an ambulance for me because i was so dehydrated. the drs diagnosed me with cannabinoid hyperemesis syndrome, but i continue to use weed because as of rn the pros outweigh the cons (this is both dr and therapist approved). currently though my family is questioning if that is the cause due to certain things not making sense symptom wise, but thats for my dr to decide

as of today, im on medication for my heartrate, im in the process of getting a diagnosis of some kind, and i have an appointment with an EDS specialist to find out if thats why my bones hate me!

i currently use a cane but am slowly accepting that ill likely need more support at some point, and that ill probably need more medication than im comfortable with (i have a huge fear of medication and have to force myself to take what i do)

im hoping to get answers and more help soon! wish me luck!

[purplesaline]

Symptoms of POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome)

Hypoxia (dizzy within 10 minutes of standing up, may experience vision "grey outs" or black outs)

Standing too long may result in trembling (like what happens when your muscles are tired after a workout), cold sweat, feeling like you're about to vomit

Some people may faint

Arms above your head tires you quickly

You feel better if you squat down

You start sitting or laying down with your legs lifted (so they're higher than your heart) when you never did that before

Dry skin (if you had dry skin to start with now it's even dryer)

Intolerance to heat. Need to sit in the shower because standing is even harder than outside the shower

Slower healing

You get heartburn/acid reflux more often

Your feet/hands get cold even when it's warm out (secondary Raynauds)

Exhaustion/lack of energy. You're just tired all the time.

"Out of shape" you can't walk as far/do as much as you used to be able to

Frequent urination

Feeling worse after eating carbs (particularly refined carbs)

Exercise intolerance

Not an exhaustive list

If you read this list and found yourself relating to enough of those points to make you concerned, when was the last viral or bacterial illness you experienced? A lot of people who got covid will have developed POTS as a result. POTS can also be triggered by physical trauma, and AFAB folks are far more likely to develop it than AMAB folks.

If you have ADHD or are hypermobile you are more likely to develop POTS.

If you have hEDS you are more likely to develop it.

the majority of the symptoms we're aware of is a result of our blood vessels not properly constricting, which causes blood to pool in our lower extremities rather than return to our heart for redistribution. This causes the heart to pump harder in an attempt to get the blood returned.

My case is one of the more severe ones and my symptoms are constant rather than coming in flares, but to serve as an example just a 20 minute shopping trip to Walmart had my heartrate up to 200bpm. Luckily fainting is not one of the symptoms I experience.

This is also a disorder than can get more severe over time, so it's possible many people have had it since childhood but the symptoms were mild enough to not be noticeable.

POTS, despite having so many cardiac symptoms, is not actually a cardiac disorder, it's a neurological one that impairs the autonomic nervous system and is one of the listed conditions under rhe Disautonomia umbrella (welcome to the zebra club!).

It is not considered a lethal disorder, despite how frightening it can be to have your heartrate so high. The largest factor to worry about is if fainting is a symptom you experience, but other than the dangers associated with that POTS sufferers have a normal life expectancy. It's disabling for many people and inconvenient for those that aren't disables by it, but it's not damaging your heart.

If you think you might have POTS it can be helpful to have some data to bring with you when you talk to your doctor for the first time. A "poor man's tilt table test" is a great diagnostic tool that anyone can do with access to a heartrate monitor. If you already have a fitbit that can monitor your heartrate that will work just fine. It's not the most accurate but it will give a good enough general snapshot and should hopefully convince your doctor to take the next steps.

If you don't have a heartrate monitor yet one of the most accurate heartrate monitors available to the general public is the Polar H10 chest strap monitor (in fact the guy that did my official testing said it was the best one to get). It was about $100 CAD, so definitely not cheap, but it can be used with some VR games that track your heartrate if that's something you're into lol.

A blood pressure monitor is also something that can help eith diagnostics but they're unfortunately not the most useful as they weren't designed to be used when standing (which is when the blood pressure drops), and, well, I even managed to error out the hospital's blood pressure monitor because my BP dropped too low, so I wouldn't worry too much about getting one unless you want to have one hanging around a anyway. If you do decide to get one, Omron is an excellent brand and recommended by the guy who did my testing (there was one other one he recommended above that but I've forgotten the name of it).

If your adhd meds have stopped working as well as they used to

And you've experienced any of these symptoms I highly recommend you look into getting tested for POTS. I have a strong suspicion that the recent concerns about adulterated adhd medications is not actually a problem with the medication, but a result of POTS. One of the biggest reasons for a false negative on amphetamine drug tests is dilute urine, so with POTS causing frequent urination it's entirely possible to get a false negative even with a therapeutic dose of amphetamines in your system.

If you do take amphetamines your doctor may suggest your symptoms are caused by them, so if you do approach your doctor with data from a heartrate monitor I recommend taking a medication holiday first. A full detox is approximately 3 days, but even skipping a day will make a noticeable difference in the data.

If you think you may have POTS there are some things you can do right now to improve your quality of life.

Get more electrolytes. Gatorade, pickles, SALT

Compression stockings. The best ones are that go all the way up to your midsection—pantyhose style. Thigh high is pretty good too. Even just the sock style can help though so get what you're able to access. There are three main pressure levels, the second level will generally be what most people need, but if your symptoms are more severe you may need the highest level. Keep in mind these will be much harder to put on. Get yourself some of those gardening gloves with the rubber coating, they help a lot.

Pop a squat. This will immediately drop your heartrate back to resting rate and it will stay there as long as you're in this position (it doesn't work like this for normies lol)

Get yourself a shower chair and take cooler showers

If washing yourself is a major chore don't be afraid to use an electronic scrubber! I've heard there are some specifically for exfoliating but honestly I've just been using one meant for scrubbing my shower and put a soft pad on it. Works like gangbusters!

I'm running late so I'll leave it here, but my asks are always open if anyone has questions!

Take care of yourselves.

[yharnamcrow]

We terrify the Pokécenter people here. We just came in to have a checkup for all the mons for everyone, yeah? The nurse was fine with my team, and that of Serena, Shauna, and Tierno. Also Miss Eileen, she cooed over the kittens a lot. Then came the Gascoignes, and her distinct discomfort 'cause their kids were phantump. They got paperwork to prove it and all that, but she clearly wasn't prepared for it.

And then. THEN we had the other three of our troop. Trevor with Endling. The poor nurse was paler than a gardevoir. But everyone's healthy there. Even if Endling apparently has a resting heartrate of three beats a minute.

Mr. Djura and Entei were not much better for her. She was also sneezing. I think she is allergic to Entei fur. Makes me wonder how many people are allergic to legendaries but never learn it. Entei is healthy too, but maybe needs better dental care. Mr. Djura was writing down dental treats on his shopping list while the nurse said that. He has terrible handwriting.

And then we had Mr. Henryk and Izra. Izra barely fit into the center. We had to do that examination outside, and the nurse didn't believe him when he said that Mudball isn't a Pokémon. But Potions and stuff don't work on her, they only make her sneeze. Anyways, uh. Izra. Healthy as a mudsdale. Also too electrified to be put into a center healing machine. Even in its pokéball. The nurse clocked out after we were out of the center and promptly went to a nearby bar, so I think she wasn't trained to deal with the Legendaries.

[subskz]

ok shoutOUT grindset ily and I treasure you

let's all share channie and try to get his heartrate up, hm?

someone kissing on his neck while someone else simply holds his hand and presses kisses to his palm or knuckles, someone biting the inside of his wrist while one tit is being groped and fondled while the other is getting sucked into a warm mouth through the fabric of his shirt. someone is stroking and massaging the inside of his thighs while the others bite and kiss at his calves, someone is biting at his ear (me) while someone else is running their hands through his hair and massaging his scalp.

poor baby so overwhelmed with love and affection his face is beet fucking red and he's a stuttery squirmy mess. I wouldn't be surprised if he suddenly got hard or even came in his pants like that🤭🥰

love the teamwork here…the best ideas always come when u guys bounce off of each other bc this is the ONE oh my god (reminds me a bit of this hehehe)

channie being drowned in all that love and attention and pleasure like he deserves makes my heart fuller than anything ♡♡♡ he’s so ridiculously sensitive especially around his neck and tummy, even an innocent touch has him squeaking and curling in on himself so imagine all that stimulation at once in areas even more sensitive than that…poor channie wouldn’t stand a chance <3 he’d be squirming and writhing around nonstop, letting out breathless, uncontrollable giggles, blushing so hard that his face is as red as his ears, head tilting from side to side as his neck gets covered in kisses, tummy clenching so adorably every time someone runs their hands over it…and imagine if he stuttered out a shaky, shy lil “th-thank you” to every word of praise and adoring compliment ㅠㅠ baby can’t even accept them on a normal basis he’d be an absolute mess trying to handle it all. but there’s no way to hide how much he loves every bit of the attention, not when he can’t squeeze his thighs together to cover how obviously he’s throbbing in his jeans 🥰

[silentmoths]

My turn to throw brainrot your way!! *yeet*

Now, at the end of the Lantern Rite Quest Hu Tao asks Zhongli to meet her at the Funeral Parlor later for something, right?

Imagine Hu Tao knows you have a gigantic crush on him and wants to be your personal wingman (you didn't ask and didn't have to ask... she just does it). You lead a small bookstore in Liyue that is always extremely busy during Lantern Rite. So, when Zhongli returns to the Funeral Parlor later he finds Hu Tao there, asking him to help you run your shop and carry some book crates for you.

Hu Tao was the one who had originally agreed to help you with stuff during Lantern Rite but being the cheeky woman she is, she sent your long-term crush to help instead. Try and concentrate on work now... hehe.

AJDKAHSFSAB but thats so on brand for hu tao I love it and I need some soft pining rn so EHEHE

Zhongli x Reader

its kinda fluffy, but really it's just fucking crack ig

You find yourself watching the fireworks from the terrace, beautiful and vibrant against the inky black sky.

You could have gone down to the harbour to watch them with everybody else, but you just didn't have the time...besides, you got a pretty good view from here anyway, why put yourself through the hassle of more people?

Once the last firework quietly fizzles out, you take yourself back inside to start cleanup. Things always got hectic in the bookstore during lantern rite, the bookhouse up the street had anything and everything, sure; but people had a tendency to flock here to buy out your stocks of adeptal stories.

Tales of the mighty, who aided Rex Lapis in his bid for a celestial seat, you always made sure to find out ahead of time of the theme, so you could stock extra stories on whatever adepti may be involved; but by the time the festivities come to a close, it looks like barbatos had thrown a hurricane through your poor shop.

Thankfully, Hu Tao, bless her eccentric soul, had offered to help with the new shipment of books that had arrived in the harbour, she was closer to the docks, and she knew you needed time to actually make the place not look like a disaster.

Speaking of, by the sound of the door sliding open, that must be her now.

You turn the corner, around a bookshelf to greet Hu Tao with a smile and another sincere thank you, when you step on a roll of paper towel, the roll slides and you and up on your ass with a dull thud and a loud groan.

"Are you alright?" a very distinctly not-Hu-Tao voice calls.

You try to shake the stars dancing in your vision as a gloved hand reaches out and you take it without much thought, being pulled to your feet; where you are met with- oh no.

Zhongli.

Immediately you feel your cheeks heat and your heartrate spike. What was he doing here? why was he so handsome? why did he smell so good?

Zhongli carefully reaches out to feel the back of your head, checking for any lumps as he repeats his question "Are you alright?"

"I-um...y-yeah I'm ok..." you finally manage to stammer out "Just a little tired I guess...it's been a busy few days.." "I can see that." The consultant chuckles, looking around the space. "Busy as ever in here I see."

"W-what brings you here anyway Mr. Zhongli?"

At first, he tilts his head, before a look of understanding graces his features.

"Ah, Director Hu has asked me to deliver these crates of books to you in her stead...I am assuming she did not inform you prior."

"No, No she did not." You sigh, cursing her silently. She knew, she absolutely knew about your stupid fucking crush on her consultant. "But thank you, I really appreciate iT-" As you finally balance out again properly and place your foot onto the ground, a sharp pain shoots up your leg, radiating from your ankle.

shit.

"Oh dear, seems that spill may have been worse than we thought." Zhongli mumbles, supporting you to a nearby chair and sitting you down, all while you just want to melt into the floor.

"I'm sure I'll be fine." You try to push "I have so much to do I cant just-"

Oh and now he was crouched by your injured ankle, gentle hands inspecting the swelling with such fierce concentration that your words die in your throat.

"The swelling is only minor, but best you take a rest." He murmurs, gently setting your leg up onto the nearby coffee table. "You've worked hard these last few days, it's time for a break."

He doesn't let you get up, insisitng that he can take care of the rest. Ignores your panicked squawking that no, this was too much for him and that you couldn't put him in such a positon after he'd already helped with delivering the new stock.

He ignores you, and you get to watch as he shucks off his long coat, folds it neatly, and gets to work.

It really should be illegal to be that handsome.

you would need to find the heaviest book in your store

and throw it bodily at Hu Tao.